#I also had a stuffed spider for some reason lmao

[artlatrine]

I love your moth and your spider, but what other bugs do you like? What do you think about a bee that’s been stuffed full of nectar

spider? huh, i actually dont recall any recent spider ocs!

bees are actually my favorite bug! i love the idea of them being stuffed full of nectar! i usually think of them producing too much honey and getting full from that, but the idea of nectar is really good

other bugs that i think are cool include the mantis! i like that it can eat another bug in its entirely in one sitting. also ants, honey pot ants in paticular are always fun to see hehe

i actually had a mosquito character as well that i didnt really do much with, but there was a study done on mosquitos for some odd reason where they cut off the signal in their body that lets them know when they're full so they kept drinking blood until they popped, which is kind of cruel irl, but that idea in like fiction is really good

also centipedes and millipedes are some of my favorites, as well! i love how scary centipedes are, and how millipedes are nice in comparison

i have a lot of thoughts about bugs tbh lmao

[preciouslandmermaid]

heaven and hell (we’ll make it out alive) - ch.1

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader  Tags: Angst/Romance/Fluff/Friends to Lovers (as per usual, this is a story about grief and a story about love.)  No beta reader lmao Word Count: 1.7k Also!!! Reader is Femme/Non-Binary and uses they/them pronouns :)

You can also read it on ao3 -> here

1986. The year you were lined up to graduate, top of the class, with tight-knit circle of friends around you. The year of senior prom and you already had a few outfits picked out. The year of college applications and potential internships. The future looked bright and hopeful with the tiny, suburban town of Hawkins in your rearview mirror.

It all changed on January 16th, 1986.

~~~~~~~~~~~

February 1986

You tore your polo shirts, technicolor sweaters, and ruffled blouses from your closet. You shoved them into a dilapidated cardboard box (given to you by your mom) with the word ‘DONATE’ scribbled onto the face of the box in sharpie. The chilled wind scratched the empty, spidering branches against your windowpane. A fine dust of flurries danced down from the dark, clouded sky like a picturesque snow globe.

The speakers of your cassette player vibrated as the drumbeat of “Shot in the Dark” by AC/DC reverberated through your room.  You pushed the now-filled box into a corner of the room with some of the others and swiped both of your hands over your sweaty face. Not everything was being donated. You decided to only give away what couldn’t be altered and adjusted.

“Sweetheart?” Your mother shouted over the noise and knocked her knuckles against your door, “are you coming down for dinner, dear?”

“No!” You yelled back, “I’m not hungry!”

“Are you sure?”

Jesus Christ. You rolled your eyes and bit back a frustrated groan. How could she ask you to come and sit at dinner and act like everything was normal? As if you were still a family? You pressed the heels of your palms into your burning eyes and swallowed the tight, prickly lump that built inside your throat. Whatever. It was whatever.

“Yeah!” You replied, voice tight, as the next track on your cassette started to play. You knew you’d find a plate covered with tinfoil in the fridge later. There was no reason to go downstairs. You pushed your hair out of your face and started to remove the stuffed shoeboxes from beneath your bed filled with little art  projects and classroom gossip notes.

~~~~~~~~~~~

You clutched your fingers around the blue, plastic lunch tray and scanned the cafeteria. You glanced over to the jocks and cheerleaders. One of the girls, Casey, glared at you over her shoulder and gave a dramatic roll of her eyes. ‘We used to braid each other’s hair in second grade’. Now she looked at you like you were an annoying housefly buzzing around her head and then swimming in her soup.

Chin held high, you stepped forward into the lunchroom that hummed like an angry wasp nest. You knew who you’d be sitting with. You just had to find them among the buzzing bees of Hawkins’ High. You ignored the disdainful and scandalous glances and the trail of thinly hidden whispers that followed you.

“Did you hear…?”

“--right on the bed!”

“—looks like a freak now—”

“I knew something was weird about them. The whole family.”

The Hellfire Club went silent at your confident approach. The freshman Dustin and Mike stared at you with wide eyes. Gareth nudged his elbow into Jeff’s stomach while Eddie Munson, sitting at the head of the table, raised both eyebrows with an almost friendly smile.

“Well, well, well,” he interlaced his fingers in front of him, elbows on the table, “are my eyes deceiving me or is our class valedictorian really about to try and sit with us?”

You tilted your head slightly.

“Considering the fact that I just flunked my AP History test…” You heard Dustin choke on his milk, “I find it unlikely that they’ll award me the title of valedictorian.” You shrugged. Grades didn’t matter to you. Not anymore.

“And now you want to sit with the freaks?” Eddie asked.

“I want to do more than just sit with them.” You moved the leg of a chair with your foot, pulling it out with a screech of metal on linoleum, and sat down next to Mike Wheeler. The boys around the table tensed and seemed to wait for you to complete your statement with a bated breath.

You picked up a limp French fry and used it to point across the table at Gareth toward his chest, “I want to join the club and get a t-shirt.”

The response was mixed. There was a murmuring of alarm, confusion, and disagreement. You let the chatter wash over you and focused on pouring a ketchup packet into the empty tray well.

“We’re a D&D club.” Dustin said almost indignant, “do you even know how to play Dungeons and Dragons?”

“I think they should join.” Jeff followed up with a quick nod, “it wouldn’t hurt to have another player.”

“Wait.” Mike lifted his hands and scanned the table with quick, dark brown eyes. “We have full party already!”

“I think Dustin raises a good point.” Eddie said. “Do you know how to play?”

You kept your face a mask of nonchalance and boredom. It was all you could do to quiet and contain the storm raging inside your chest. I don’t want to spend the rest of year alone. If they won’t take me in, then who will?

You swirled a french fry around the ketchup, making tiny trails, and avoided Eddie’s laughing eyes. You supposed that you could spend the year alone. It wouldn’t be too bad, would it? But, Ms. Kelly was adamant you have some type of positive social interaction. Otherwise, she’d start suggesting things like ‘group counseling’ again.  

“I’m sure it’s not hard to learn.” You said, “I mean – it’s a game.”

“A game?!” Dustin threw his hands into the air, clearly affronted.

“We could vote on it.” Gareth suggested with a furtive glance to Eddie.

“Yeah, why not?” Eddie grinned. “Everyone in favor raise your hands.” He raised his arm to demonstrate. Your stomach swooped. Your heart ricocheted around your ribcage. The fate of your social life for the last few months of school hung in the air like thick, humid fog. Your eyes glued to Eddie, and you waited for his arm to drop. You could see Gareth raising his hand out of the corner of your eye and Eddie’s smile brightened his face.

Nervously, you picked at the loose threads of your ripped jeans.

“Everyone not in favor raise your hands.” Eddie’s arm dropped and your heart followed suit.

A part of you, the logical, reasonable part, rationalized that there was no way in Hellfire that the club would accept you. Prior to the start of 1986, you were a teacher favorite and amicable classmate. You weren’t in the popular crowd, but you were adjacent to it. There was no reason as to why a club of nerds and outcasts would accept you.

Yet, the decision was nearly unanimous as Mike and Dustin were the only ones to vote ‘not in favor’. Eddie voted first and he voted yes. You wondered if that meant anything and swiftly pushed the thought away from your mind. He probably had another motive. Everyone always did. Maybe he’d ask you to write a few English papers or something.

“Welcome to Hellfire Club.” Eddie announced with a brilliant, disarming smile before making horns with his fingers and curling them near his forehead. He stuck out his tongue and the table erupted in scattered laughter. You never knew he grinned so damn much and never suspected him to be likeable. You always assumed he’d be gruff or cold at best or angry and scary at worst. You gave them your best smile even though it felt fragile around the edges.

“You don’t get a t-shirt right away, though.” Jeff added helpfully.

“Do I have to slay a dragon first or something?” You asked.

“Something like that.” Mike said quietly and you almost didn’t hear him with the chaotic din of lunchroom background noise.

You silently ate your lunch with the Hellfire Club. No one would describe you as ‘meek’, but you did tamper down on your responses and confined yourself to listening and watching to gather the dynamic of this group. Dustin clearly adored Eddie, but he brought up Steve Harrington. A lot. Mike and Dustin were close friends, but you noticed their glances over to the basketball table where Jason and his buddies sat. Weird, but whatever. You avoided looking around the lunchroom too often. There was always the risk you’d lock eyes with your old friends, and you were never sure what your reaction would be. Sometimes, it was hot, roiling pain in your stomach and other times it was numb, empty echoes inside your skull. So, you simply avoided it when you could. It was the easiest way to survive.

The lunch bell rang, and a chorus of scraping plastic chairs clashed through the noise of conversation. You slung your backpack over your shoulder, prepared to leave and take a slow walk to chemistry class.

“Alright, newbie.” Eddie sidled next to you, “what are you plans for this weekend?”

Your brow furrowed, “why?”

“Why? So, I can teach you how to play dungeons and dragons that’s why.” He chuckled. “Unless you were planning to show up to our game next week with no idea how to play and just bumble your way through it and into a gruesome, gruesome death?”

You couldn’t help it – you cracked a genuine smile.

“It would be a memorable first lesson.” You said with a soft note of humor in your voice.

“It would and it would also throw off my plans for the upcoming fight. Now. What are your plans?”

You had no social life to speak of. No plans, no dates, no parties. You’d rather not spend another Saturday locked in your room to avoid your mom’s beseeching looks. At the memory of her face, wet with tears, you swallowed roughly and focused your attention on one of the pins on Eddie’s jean vest.

“I’m free.” You answered distractedly.

“Then I’ll come pick you up?” He offered and you gave a quick shake of your head. The last thing you needed was someone new visiting the house. Besides, your family would see the name ‘Hellfire’ and likely start calling the church.

“I can drive.” You said.

“Alright, cool.”

You only caught the corner of Eddie’s smile as you averted meeting his gaze just in case he should see something you didn’t want him to. You left with your heart doing an enthusiastic somersault inside your chest.

[bornsexyesterday]

Random Questions round 2:

favorite tv show?

what position do you sleep in?

describe your favorite article of clothing.

light or dark?

are you afraid of spiders?

do you own any pets?

pastel or neon colors?

if you have stuffed animals, which ones are your favorites?

favorite food?

do you enjoy sports?

1. Okay ik it's just one but I have four (MLP FIM, Ok K.O let's be hero's, the Lego ninjago series, and Sonic boom)

2. I'm a side sleeper usually but I can sleep on my back sometimes

3. So I have this oversized pullover hoodie that's black and has some random anime girl on it (i call her 'Supreme' because behind her there's some red box with text I'm assuming says that) I got it like....3 or 4 years ago it makes me feel very gender for an odd reason dunno

4. Dark for the most part

5. Debatable. If it's a big spider I'm burning the facility down but if just a tiny little guy I'll wait for it to cross so I don't accidentally step on the fella

6. Yes I own two rats aka Chinchillas (their names are Stewart and Dilan, we had to rename Dilan because his previous name was 'Lucifer' and my father's religious eye roll. Kinda dissapointed because Lucifer is such a kickass name for a Chinchilla lmao)

7. Depends tbh, like I said I prefer de saturated pastels but I also really adore neon, they both make me feel very gender

8. So I have this chonker pig I named Porkchop, I have two Tails plushies because yes, I have this whale I named Wally, I have a ferret plush I call Crossant, and I have a plush of a pre cookie run f/o

9. Again, I have multiple (Tamales, mac and cheese, pasta in general, etc.)

10. I. Personally do not enjoy sports (especially ones that deal with balls I've gotten hit with balls too many times I am traumatized) but I can handle floor hockey, soft ball, and baseball

[cat3ch1sm]

🌳| lolz im away rn so i queued this post- enjoy ily<33 (slight tw i think)

random phantom troupe headcanons

· the phantom troupe will not sexually assault ppl. like ever- they find it disgusting. they'll sic feitan on you, they'll kill ur whole family, they'll steal ur most precious heirlooms- but they will not commit any sexual crimes, and especially don't condone pedophilia (which is one of the reasons why none of them are fond of hisoka lmao)

· sometimes on missions, they'll have to seduce targets for information- but they won't let shizuku go any further than flirt with someone. they think she's a little too young to try anything yet

· pakunoda is really good at baking for some reason- sometimes she'll show up w random pastries for the troupe lol

· machi low-key has a thing for shizuku. like it's almost impossible to tell but she'll sometimes sidle closer to her during meetings or "accidentally" bump into her just to help her pick up her stuff

· feitan sometimes sleeps w stuffed animals when he's all alone, it makes him feel safe

· this is for sure an obvious one but paku has had quite a few nip slips. whenever it happens there's always someone that casually walks over and stands in front of her while she fixes it

· phinks and uvo jokingly call paku "mommy" bc duh

· chrollo always threatens to fire everyone bc whenever hisoka goes off somewhere they always beg him over and over to let them kill him

· kalluto is a little too fond of cross-dressing and doesn't care if someone accidentally calls him a girl

· nobunaga says "that's gay" whenever something he thinks is stupid or just doesn't like happens

· shizuku overshares like a lot, to the point where the other Spiders get uncomfortable- and it's worse bc she never remembers sharing anything so she does it again the next day

· chrollo randomly goes into those big Catholic cathedrals and just sits there dramatically with the sun shining through the stained glass windows. he thinks he looks mysterious and enchanting but everyone else is just creeped out

· illumi doesn't say otherwise if someone says that he and hisoka are like a romantic thing. not that he actually has feelings for hisoka but he just doesnt really care

· little kids really like feitan for like no reason. they'll be all like "wow your mask is so cool!" and he'll literally stand there and panic while the kids stare up at him like he's the coolest person on the planet (although who's to say he isn't😐)

· the entire phantom troupe is just so over kurapika. like they've kinda put the uvo thing in the past and a lot of them are very annoyed that the chain user is still looking for revenge

· bonolenov can't get vaccinated or anything bc WHERE THE FUCK ARE HIS VEINS

· kortopi is kinda the outcast of the group. he doesn't have much fighting ability and his appearance is a little eerie so most of the members are just inclined to ignore him

· paku loves(would love? ;( ) to dress kalluto up like one of those lolita girls on Pinterest

· kalluto kinda clings to illumi or chrollo bc he wants approval from someone, illumi and chrollo are both ok with it

· shalnark and shizuku follow on_a_downward_spiral on ig

· shalnark is a major insomniac

· who knows who but several members of the troupe have had romantic/sexual encounters w one another

· every last member is very touch-starved

· franklin puts his earlobes in a ponytail sometimes

· shalnark cannot hear shit when he's listening to music with his headphones on

· nobunaga says "im gonna kill myself" at any minor inconvenience

· phinks and nobunaga watch kids shows just to criticize them and yell at the tv

· machi gets seriously irritable and crabby when she's hungry

· she also fantasizes about kicking hisoka in the balls

· shalnark has repeatedly asked (would have 😐) illumi if he and hisoka are actually getting married

· paku kinda shipped killugon

[letthefrogsbe]

remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Vibes Dream SMP members give off (in my opinion)

Dream

Barked at people in high school ironically but it became unironic real quick

Can’t cook very well but is good with a knife, especially at a fast pace

One of those kids who either purposely spells the first word wrong in a spelling bee to just be done with it right away or tries the hardest and manages to win (there is no inbetween for this heathen)

Bites ice cream with his teeth

Has snorted pixie stix far too many times and sneezed blue after each time

Eats bananas with the peels

Wears mismatched socks

Has taken a bite out of a pool noodle because he liked the texture and impulsively bit it (ADHD things✨😌)

Walks around looking extremely high but he’s just spacin out and stuck in his head

Dreams (lmao) in Minecraft and video games in general

Will flirt with anything that moves but has no idea how to respond to compliments

Makes fun of himself first before anyone else can

Has eaten an orange peel and it wasn’t that bad in his humble opinion

Wears khaki shorts

Eats the wax part of the baby bell cheese

Doesn’t actually know what genre his music taste is cause he vibes to everything

Georgenotfound

Picks at the skin on his lip when it’s dry so it bleeds and he tries not to give in by licking his lips often enough to the point where it became a habit

Wears velcro shoes because he doesn’t feel like tying them (he knows how, he just doesn’t wanna do it)

Eats peanut butter straight from the jar

Makes that disgusting “ants on a log” thing (celery stick filled with peanut butter topped with a row of raisins)

Can’t drink milk plain, it’s gotta have some sort of flavour

Can draw a perfect straight line but his circles look Terrible

Eats cheez-its like cereal without milk

Loves making little noises so much like he walks around his house doin chores and he’s just goin “memememenownownwnkwkshskshkshskhs”

Hates wearing socks

Coloured his tongue with highlighters because they’re non-toxic

Constantly tapping his feet and hands to a song/beat playing in his head

I can’t imagine this man using a bike of any sort, so Imma say he doesn’t know how

Can’t be licked by dogs because he’s used to being licked by his cat so it makes him uncomfortable

Can actually sing pretty well but gets real nervous in front of people so he fucks it up

Sapnap

No idea how to cook anything other than Mac and cheese please help this man

Meows at cats because he wants to confuse them and laughs Way too hard when he does (his laugh is like sunshine so I’ll allow it)

Would be fantastic at braiding hair Idk why

Gives the BEST fuckin hugs EVER

When singing, he makes noises for the instrumental parts too

Wanted to play the drums at one point

Really likes pit bulls but he’s more of a cat person so he loves them from afar

Only vaguely knows how to shave his face properly without hurting himself

Opportunities for him come up out of pure luck but mans is skilled for them so it works out well almost Always

Used to or currently has a skateboard and isn’t too bad

ALWAYS has bruises appearing everywhere for no reason, he doesn’t even know where 90% of them are from

Calls his friends twinks to jokingly bully them and gets away with it because he himself is not a twink

Gets sudden bursts of energy in the middle of the night and just shimmies around a bit to try and deal with it

Favours spearmint over peppermint

Arsonist

Banned from three (3) Dave & Busters in Texas

Badboyhalo

Washes his hands after doing literally anything

Likes the bird exhibits at the zoo (specifically the penguins)

Very good at cooking, best at soups and stews

If he painted his nails they would definitely be a baby blue

Overthinks very simple things and it makes him look less smart than he actually is

Drinks tap water

Probably prefers whiskey over beer

Knows how to tap dance a bit

Surprisingly good at taking and handling shots

Steady hands

Adds extra chocolate to hot chocolate

Plays sudoku and is really really good at it (only uses pen when he plays)

Everytime he sees a Himalayan salt lamp he NEEDS to lick it despite knowing it’s very salty and he’ll pull a face afterwards

Not great at Rock Paper Scissors

Wears sunglasses inside for no reason at all, he just,,,Does

Still has a stuffed animal from childhood perched on his bed

Probably tried his hand at archery

Tommyinnit

He has no idea how to use a baby voice on children or animals, so he just talks to them normally

Wears socks to bed

His fingers are double jointed

Always starts twitching if he stays still for too long because he’s gotta move around

His shoes and have different laces and it bothers everyone but himself

Doodles on himself in class when he’s bored or not paying attention

Has really good hearing, both with pitch and volume

Can’t eat tomato’s by themselves, it’s either gotta be in sauce form or with something else

FUCKING LOVES STRING CHEESE

Terrible handwriting

Favourite part of a slice of bread is the crust

Wants to paint his nails black to be cool and edgy but his hands are far from steady and he has no clue how to paint nails

Pretty affectionate with close friends (like Tubbo and Wilbur) off stream/camera

He likes pears for some reason

Wilbur Soot

Is constantly having to decide between leaving his hair as is or shaving all of it off

He also thinks about adding some colour but never actually does

Most tea is gross to him

Everytime he puts a breath mint thats circular in his mouth, he pretends it’s a pill and he’s taking drugs because he thinks that’s funny

He does that vacant state as a joke but that really what he looks like when he’s spacing out

Likes to aggressively flirt with his male friends but if his female friends flirt with him, he gets a bit flustered

Has probably accidentally swallowed a guitar pick

Once drank two entire jars of pickle juice

Bonks his head on anything and everything

He has broken a pair of glasses by walking face first into a pole outside

Thinks kinetic sand is fun

Has passionate arguments with others about trivial and random topics like chicken feet

Can open a beer bottle with his teeth

Would accidentally pop and swallow a bracket if he had braces

Tubbo

Hates sharp cheddar cheese

Everytime he learns a new word it’s in every sentence he says for the next week or so

Ate candle wax for a dare once

Doesn’t know how to tie a tie and will probably never learn

Wanted to do ballet at one point but decided not to

He has eaten multiple flowers for absolutely no reason other than wanting to know how they taste

Starts vibrating if he’s too excited

Used to bite his nails

ABSOLUTELY DESPISES MUSTARD

Has eaten paper and says it doesn’t taste that bad

Enjoys telling his friends how much they mean to him (this has resulted in Tommy and Wilbur crying on a few seperate occasions)

Spaces out a lot and doesn’t often pay attention to his surroundings

Gets lost inside of Best Buy’s

Likes s’mores but doesn’t properly understand how to make them

Technoblade

Learned to cook purely out of spite and found it’s actually pretty fun

Constantly getting smacked in the face by trees when walking outside

Really likes apple pie

Everytime he looks at potatoes he thinks of all the hours he spent trying to win the potato war

Starts things as a joke and gets too into it

Doesn’t like the taste of most energy drinks

Has rubbed salt and lemon juice into an open wound to just,,see how it felt (he did it once and Hated it but did it again because he forgot what it felt like)

Sometimes hates how quiet he is because everyone he knows is loud and talks over him

Despite how he is portrayed in the Dream SMP, he is extremely loyal to his friends and would kill for them

Over seasons his food because he can’t taste it otherwise

Really good balance

Doesn’t like to wear bright colours, but still enjoys wearing colours

Good at knitting

Quackity

Actually fairly quiet when off camera

Will accidentally use Spanish grammar while speaking English sometimes

Country music confuses him

Doesn’t really like kids but they really like him

Can’t dance

Hardest drugs he’s ever done is second hand smoke from a cigarette and children’s Tylenol

His favourite jolly ranchers are the red and blue ones

He uses lighters as fidget toys basically

Will have a breakdown, take a bubble bath, and call himself the self care king

Dehydrated

Wants a pet rat but he already has a cat and doesn’t wanna risk anything

Constantly questions why his main source of income is playing Minecraft with two 16 year olds

Karl Jacobs

Probably ate a spider once

Would wear those socks that are like gloves for you feet where it separates all the toes

Eats ravioli straight from the can, cold

Can answer an incredibly complex math equation fairly easily but will stumble over 12x11

Loves kids so much and speaks to them in a soft voice

Tried making ramen in a coffee pot and broke it

Drinks 2 monster energy drinks a day on average

Likes to open walnuts with his teeth but doesn’t actually eat them

The embodiment of that one John Maulany joke where he says you could spill soup in his lap and HE’D apologize to YOU

Loves physical affection so so much!!!!

If he moves his wrists in a certain way, they pop Really Loudly

Fantastic at making cookies

Fundy

Lowkey actually a furry but more on like, a cat boy level than fursuit level

Drives a Honda Civic

Likes ABBA

Adds parsley to almost anything he makes food-wise

Loves garlic bread so much, he’d commit a federal crime for it

Middle child vibes

Decent at skiing

Good at singing but isn’t terribly confident

Seems responsible at first glance but in reality he’s pretty chaotic and childish

Bad at spelling

Always cuts his nails way too short so they always feel weird/hurt

Likes bracelets and rings

Thinks pastel colours slap

JSchlatt

Despite the character he plays, he’s actually really sweet

He’s genuinely that cryptic off camera as he is on camera

Can cook but chooses not to most of the time

Would probably say “what pussy size you wear” to anyone who asks him to buy pads

Not actually as intimidating as he appears to be

Lowkey would fight a child

Shuts down when someone compliments him, often using aggression as a front because holy shit they just called him handsome and kind what the Fuck-

Jokingly says his license is suspended but in all actuality he never got his license in the first place

He has two (2) extra teeth but they don’t need to be removed so he kept them

Has a stick n poke of a stickman on his ankle he got in high school

Likes physics

This is already very long, and I still plan on adding more.

[bluepluto03]

mcu spiderman rewrite/au i may or may not do

ok so first quick disclaimer! i do not hate the mcu spider man movies in any way!! i actually enjoy them quite a bit and have seen homecoming like 4 times! and i absolutely adore all the actors in the movies, especially tom, zendaya, and jacob 

but the problem w/ the mcu spiderman movies is,,, they’re just not spiderman. at least from a writing/thematic perspective, which sucks bc so much other stuff about them is great! like tom holland is the perfect peter parker, which is why it seems so close to being right, but with the way the script is actually written... it’s just. not spider-man. 

i feel the need to explain all this/my problems w/ the movies b4 i get into the actuall au idea/plot, so please bear with me for a sec

for context, I’ve loved spiderman my whole life. i’d watch the cartoons when i was younger, and then went back and watched them all again when i was a bit older and figured out how to pirate stuff lol. i didn’t really know how to get into the comics, so i just kinda read wikis and got second-hand info from fanfics and the other movies

to me, spiderman, (at least, peter parker spiderman,) was always about like... a kid, who saw the world was broken and fixed it because he could. he had the power to fix stuff, so he did. 

as a kid w/ mental illness and a not so great home life... that was something really really important to me. to see another kid out there, who’s been through some shit, but finally has the power to make stuff better, so he is! and it would make me think, maybe i can change stuff for the better, someday, if i just get my chance

but,,,,, the problem is mcu peter parker isn’t that. 

instead of becoming spiderman bc he knows there’s bad in the world and wants to fix it, suddenly his motivation is impressing tony stark?? and don’t get me wrong i don’t hate tony, but the way they wrote his and peter’s relationship basically trapped peter. he could no longer be his own hero, bc he was tony’s successor. and that's never who peter parker’s spiderman was?? he was never a follower, he was a trendsetter. he didn’t become spiderman for approval, hell he had dozens of newspapers constantly slandering him. 

honestly the following in someone else’s footsteps thing was always a miles morales thing. he had to step up to the plate and fill the shoes of a spiderman who had already existed for years and was beloved by the whole city. obviously thats not all he is and simplifying his character to that is incredibly obtuse, but i bring it up bc tbh alot of stuff w/ mcu peter parker is just straight-up ripped off from miles morales. like how peter now goes to a fancy private school, is no longer poor (which is a huge thing w/ peter parker’s character in like every other incarnation), has a living father figure, and is bffs w/ ned, who is a straight-up rip off of miles’s best friend ganke. (for the record tho i adore ned and jacob i’m def keeping him in my rewrite,,,, also i’m glad he’s in the movie bc having a plus sized poc protagonist thats not constantly mocked is incredible) 

so, i’m complaining about all this stuff lol but ur probably wondering how exactly how i wanna fix it lol,,,, 

first, give peter an arc thats more than just..... i want tony to believe in me. my idea for that is basically a type of thing where he learns to rely on others! bc like... peter isn’t good at working w/ others lol, he’d much rather do it all himself so no one else gets hurt. (like in the andrew garfield movies where he just,,,, webs his gf to a car so she can’t run into danger lmao) 

the plot would start at a similar ish position to homecoming, though tony never recruits peter for civil war. tbh not sure if it even happened but we’ll disscuss that later

peter’s been spiderman for a few months, after a trip to oscorp left him w/ a radioactive spider bite. currently no one knows about it, and he’s doing a pretty ok job of dealing w/ everything on his own. until he takes down a big bad, lets say rhino for now, and gains a ton of publicity. after stooping a hudge disaster he’s suddenly in the limelight, and catches the attention of one norman osborn, aka the green goblin 

now, quick sidenote. green goblin is genreally seen as pretty goofy, but there are comic versions of him that are legit terrifying. if im being honest i didn’t even know about that version until i read aloneintherains fic birds eating other birds so ig thats kinda ish how i’m imagining this version of norman? though alot more composed, like the man who could someday turn into that 

so norman becomes intrested in my boy peter, and starts sending ppl after him. possibly the sinister 6, but uhh maybe not bc tbh i think this “rewrite” needs to be split into 2 “movies”/works and i might wanna save that for the hypothetical pt2 (btw if i write this it won’t b for a while cause i got other stuff going on but ig if ppl are intrested i might write some snippits/make more content for it) 

so basically the main plot is peter dealing w/ all these big bads on his own, doing ok at first but later getting really fucked up, and eventually revealing himself to ned and mj which ends up being the only way he can save the day in the end. by relying on others! yay!! 

thats it for the main plot, but don’t worry y’all we got other stuff going on too lmao 

so, for one. my boy peter is realizing he has a crush and just,,,, freaking tf out. (i have yet to decide if it’s on ned or mj. or both. sue me) the crush isn’t definitely resolved in p1, but i imagine there’d be some cute thing of him suddenly realizing and freaking out and almost revealing his powers. 

thing 2! tony stark! he is still in here, and still a mentor to peter, but in a pretty drastically different way. one, he doesn't know about peter being spiderman. he doesn't even suspect it lmao. he just gets involved bc of.... some sort of reason bc peter is so smart. do i know why just yet? no. does it matter? probably but i’m writing this pretty late after i had school all day so i’m too tired to care 

bc tony basically gives peter a real internship/mentorship type thing, peter now has access to all this tech!! and all these funds!! fucking lit!! so he changes from his pajama suit to the fancy one, tho he actually built it!! which i feel like him making his suit is a really big really important part of his character. so it doesn't really have all those random things tony added, tho peter might add stuff himself. he gets Karan as a like assistant ai as part of his internship but she never gets put into the suit

for the fist part tony plays a super minor role but like,,,, the first part is about osborn taking an intrest in him, and him confiding in ned and mj. the second part norman is become progressively more dangorus and peter has to fight him and stuff, kinda proving he is strong enough to be spiderman/be trusted to the whole world, beyond just ned and mj. also him actually getting together w/ either one or both of them bc...... bc i want that. 

oh btw idk if tony finds out or not in p2? if he does it’s either at the end or in a scene like the one w/ may bc like. please imagine the shenanigans of peter and ned (who both have high intellegence but low wisdom) in tony’s lab, obviously trying to hide the fact that peter’s spiderman. like he walks in on them and peter looks all frumpy bc he’s been trying to change real fast, and ned’s shirt is messed up bc he just stuffed the mask down the front of it, and mj is just. chilling behing them. so tony just like assumes stuff and is like....aight.... have fun.... 

oh btw the last big change that i didn’t really have anyway to insert natrually into this,,,, so remember how i said ned was kinda a ripoff of ganke? well, the writers claim he’s a “composite character” so i figured, why not give him traits from other famous spiderman side character so he actually is a composite character! 

so like,,,, throughout p1 it’s referenced that ned has a kinda dickish estranged ish dad that he hates and his mom doesn't really like but kinda forces him too... theres some mentions of his dad wanting him to transfer to a private school and being kinda rich, bur he dosen’t want to bc he knows his dad is a total dickead,,,, anyway end of the movie we find out norman osborn is ned’s dad, and ned hates him even fucking more bc it’s like bitch?? u tried to get my (maybe) bf murdered?? tf?? and its lowkey bc he can’t reveal peter’s id, but then in p2 after norman takes matters into his own hands and tries to kill peter on his own ned just fucking yells at him while the man is in jail and is like fuck u lmao 

soooo thats my really messy au idea!! i’m really tired sorry if this is hard to understand or rude! for the record i have nothing against the ppl who adore these movie’s, i just think they could be better! 

[markcampbells]

another get to know me game

@malionnes

tagged me:

name: Tracy

nickname: Trai, which is what I go by on here and basically any platform that lets me input my own name. It’s just what I prefer. It started when I was young and on platforms like Neopets and was using it as something a touch more adrogynous because of Internet Stranger Danger, but as I grew it just became about being a nickname I had picked for myself and liked. I went through a phase as a kid where I spelled my full name with an i To Be Creative and I think this was kind of an outgrowth of that. It’s actually weird because it’s how I refer to myself and how my friends I’ve met on platforms like this/who knew me in high school refer to me, but my college friends just call me Tracy. It’s not really a disconnect or anything; it’s just kind of funny.

gender: Female.

star sign: Capricorn.

height: 5′3″ish.

sexuality: Bi/pan. I use pan more often because gender hasn’t been a factor in attraction for me, but I don’t mind bi being used interchangeably/because it’s a bit more easy for people to understand. Bi umbrella!

dream trip: I’ve already been to London/England, but there’s a lot that I didn’t get to see and want to. Chawton, the Jane Austen house museum, is a big dream. Haworth (the Bronte parsonage) and the Sherlock Holmes museum are on that list, too, as are a few bookshops I only found in the past few years (Persephone Books, Gay’s the Word, etc). I’d also like to go to Italy one day because a family trip there had to be canceled when my stepdad seriously hurt his back. The trip had largely been for my benefit because I took Italian in high school and my stepdad (who had been there several times before) really wanted my mom and I to see Italy, so it’s still a bit sad we never made it over there. My other big ones are Belgium (particularly Bruges; you can guess what movie I love) and Germany (Berlin in particular, as a Christopher Isherwood devotee).

average hours of sleep: Probably seven or so on weekends but I try to leave myself about nine hours on the days I have to work. I can function on less, but I feel a bit better when I’ve gotten eight or nine.

why i made a tumblr: I had a brief flirtation with Fanforum that led me here because I was a One Tree Hill, specifically Naley, fan who wanted interaction with other fans.

dog or cat person: I like both. I’ve loved dogs my entire life, but as I’ve gotten older a lot of my friends have been cat people and I’ve really seen how good they can be, too. Plus a good friend of mine took in a stray who had kittens and when you get to spend a weekend with sweet kittens who are very playful and cuddly it is a joy. (They are now grown cats but we still call them kittens...)

when i made my blog:  Apparently my anniversary just passed (April 2nd, 2010).

followers: 1,900ish. I’ve been hovering within sight of that 2k mark for like three years LMAO and I’m not sure why most of them are still here! My big fandoms used to be OTH and Doctor Who and that’s where a lot of them came from.

reason[s] for my url: Mark is one of my original characters. Before this I had two URLs related to Haley from OTH. She’s still a character that means a lot to me, but the further I got from my OTH fandom days on here I didn’t feel it fit anymore.

— 5 things you’ll find in my room:

Books. Lots of books. Both prose and comics. And my ereader.

A small assortment of stuffed animals/dolls and Funkos. Currently my John Constantine Funko sits on my bookshelf and my childhood bear is on my bed.

Currently I have a fraction of a tin and then a full tin of Trader Joe’s Jingle Jangle because chocolate seasonal treats are a good thing.

Some DVDs/BluRays.

A lot of my clothes, obviously. I have a lot of Broadway show shirts and a lot of Spider-Man shirts...

— 5 things that make me happy:

Books and reading. Bookstore browsing and ordering online. My ereader. Writing.

Live theater. I’m lucky enough to live within an easy journey of Broadway.

Movies. Moviegoing is a big thing in my family.

My friends and family. I have a solid group of friends I made in college, a small handful from before then, and a number of great online friends I met either through here or through podcasting and fandom circles. My family is scattered across several locations but they’re great and supportive.

Queer culture. Between the performers, authors, artists, etc. I admire and my really supportive and loving queer friends (who run the gamut from bi themselves, trans/enby, ace, poly, gay or lesbian, etc), I’m in a good place and I’m grateful.

— 5 things i’m currently into:

Why does this question always make it impossible for me to think of what I’m into?? LMFAO

There’s been several recent period films I loved (Gerwig Little Women, de Wilde Emma, Portrait of a Lady on Fire). Watch them, please!

Ali Smith. I started reading How to be both and I wish I had given it a chance a lot sooner because the things it has to say about bisexuality, binary gender norms, and grief could have helped me through certain struggles I’ve had. I haven’t gotten all the way through it because Pandemic Brain, but I ordered two more books of hers recently because a lot of her oeuvre seems very my jam.

My old stalwart performers whose filmographies I keep the most tabs on (David Tennant, Benedict Cumberbatch, Matt Bomer Evan Rachel Wood) as well as ones I’m coming to love more and more (Florence Pugh, Jeffrey Wright, Rami Malek, tons of others).

I should really watch more documentaries? In the past few months Every Act of Life (on Terrence McNally) and Making Montgomery Clift were really illuminating so I’m trying to seek out more of those, especially on queer culture (Chris & Don was one I loved in the past). I’m not really into the idea of watching Tiger King or anything like that (too voyeuristic and exploitative) but the ones made by responsible folks about ignored topics, I’m interested in.

Black Monday. Truly, this show is a gift.

— 5 things on my to do list:

There’s a few graphic memoirs I really want to read (Noelle Stevenson, Roz Chast, Kabi Nagata).

I have some stuff out from the library that I have to hang onto for the duration of the closures that I’ll be getting to soon.

Finish the shows I was in the middle of watching/rewatching (Mr. Robot and One Day at a Time are the biggest).

Focus more on reading since the pandemic has been making that tough.

Get through the backlog of movies since I have nothing else to do while staying in my house on the days I don’t have to work.

If you want to steal, go for it!

[gingerpeachtae]

Get To Know Me!

Tagged by the wonderful and forever sweet @apurpledheart 💙💙💙

nickname(s): Cam; Carmen Rae Love (my drunk/would be stripper name lol)

bias: I got that soft spot for Jungkook, Mingi, and Sehyoon 🥺

blood type: good question, I have no idea

favorite food: pad see ew (I had some today!), my mom’s thanksgiving stuffing, and potato skins

birthday: August 2nd

zodiac: Leo!

pronouns: she/her

hair length: boob length

height: 5’7 and I’m the shortest in my fam 😐

a crush: does my undying love for Koo count?

what do you like about yourself: I’m okay being by myself and I try not to find validation in others. I also like how stubborn I can be

left or right handed: right

list of 3 favorite colors: earthy green, super dark purple, and black

right now(eating): just ate leftover pizza

right now(drinking): waterrrrrrr

i’m about to: continue working on this new fic

kids: don’t have any and tbd on if I do

get married: would like to one day

recent phone call: my momma because someone scratched my car last night 🙃

(have you ever) dated someone twice: negative

been cheated on: not that I know of

kissed someone and regretted it: negative

lost someone special: I’ve lost relatives but nobody very close to me yet luckily

been depressed: negative

been drunk and thrown up: abso-fucking-lutely

had glasses or contacts: I’ve had glasses for 2 years but I don’t NEED them I just look at screens too much

had sex on the first date: does meeting at a bar count as the first date lmao

broken someone’s heart: ive broken up with people but the relationships were never that serious

turned someone down: yup

cried when someone died: does Baymax’s sacrifice in big hero 6 count?

fallen for a friend: negative

(in the last year) have you made new friends: YES! I made some fantastic army friends like @seoulyeondamn @prettyguardianofthemoon @catastrophe-at-sixteen and @minalovessaruma 💙

laughed until you cried: only once and it was during the train scene from Spider-Man 2

met someone who changed you: honestly idk

found out who your true friends were: hell ye

found out someone was talking about you: lmao of course

lips or eyes: eyes

hugs or kisses: hugs are way more intimate to me tbh

romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous

hookup or relationship: relationship

first best friend: uhhh probably someone from grade school I no longer talk to haha

surgery: all 4 wisdom teeth babey

sports i joined: I’ve done dance, soccer, basketball, softball, volleyball, and lacrosse

do you believe in yourself: most of the time

miracles: I more so believe everything happens for a reason

love at first sight: negative

heaven: warm blankie straight out of the dryer

do you have any pets: my bristlenose pleco named Kimchi and a family dog named Benelli !

do you want to change your name: nah I’m fine with it

what did you do for your last birthday: it was my 21st so... yeah I got absolutely hammered 🤪

what were you doing last night at midnight: working on the first chapter of my new fic!

something i can’t wait for: to figure out what I really want in life

last time you saw your mum: 2 hours ago!

what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I had the means to experience more of the world

I will go ahead and just ‘tag’ those I mentioned as the friends I have made in the past year!

[signaturedish]

No, no, please never stop! I loved reading that and it's all true, lmao. I always seem to find the 'con that needs some quiet company or something I can do to help. I'm also 100% Going To Climb On Tallest Thing. Especially if it is a bot. Ratchet is the only Autobot I like. I taunt Ironhide, his frustration is too fun. Optimus is Tall Thing, not Autobot. The other 'cons finally realize I'm not their secret when I scramble out of Starscream who just went on a flight and... 1/2 - Optical Admirer

... climb onto Megatron in the middle of a meeting after avoiding Starscream's attempt to corral me to his berth. All of them try to stop me and freeze when they realize it is Too Late. I'm on Megatron's head. Then Megatron notes that QuickPatch is his squishy. Starscream mutters that HideFlight is my name, not QuickPatch. An argument ensues between a lot of them over which name is mine. 2/2 - Optical Admirer

Ahhh , that’s too cute!

Omg these are all such potential disasters.

Optimus has never been so close to so many frothing Decepticons aiming every single weapon of their arsenal at him without being actively captured or damaged in some way.

He’s just kind of quietly marveling at the moment while his troops are shaking apart with stress in a corner. Maybe also whispering pro-Autobot propaganda to you even tho you haven’t processed a single word he’s said as meaningful speech.

Eventually someone will start a betting pool on whether you understand he’s sentient, but no one’s sure who it was.

The Decepticons are just daring him to move while you’re eyeballing the top of his head speculatively. Megatron has been personally screaming threats and demands across a comm link while completely ignoring all of Optimus’ tired and reasonable reassurances like ‘Megatron, why on earth do you think I’d crush a human? You were there when I cried over that ant hill, right?’.

When the worst kept Decepticon ‘secret’ came out, Starscream had tried trapping you against his berth with an energon cup and a holopad like a goddamn spider. And you saw the set up he intended to leave you in- blankets? Stuffed animals?? No high places at all??? Measures had to be taken.

So you switch bots. Right in the middle of the meeting to make that statement pop. Look guys, you say without speaking, look at how much I don’t want to hang out with Starscream. Better think about that before trying to trap me on a hatefully low surface.

“Hideflight, no!”

Megatron watches with wide optics as you scamper up his arm like a mountain goat. He doesn’t know why you’ve so foolishly revealed yourself to his incompetent minions, but he’s already automatically placing you on the relatively level top of his helm. You do love napping there while he sketches out battle plans.

Just to be safe, he switches off the PowerPoint projection he had blown across every screen in the base and instead selects a digital file with a close up image of your face from his memory banks.

Your fleshy pink face is smudged with grease and you’re mid sentence and smiling cheerfully, jabbering about how pretty his red eyes are while carefully searing frayed wires off for him. It is a most pleasing image, one he believes highlights his pet’s finer qualities.

“This is QuickPatch,” he growls out, danger putting an engine edge in his announcement, “She is mine and unless you’d like your miserable lives to end right now in the middle of a monthly maintenance review you will not-“

“He means to say Hideflight is her designation,” Starscream mutters across the basewide speakers.

Soundwave finally has a proper target for his frustration, he rounds on Starscream, “Incorrect. Gadget has already been successfully programmed to respond to her true designation.” He’d spent so many small sugary human treats in pursuit of that endeavor.

“Her designation was Thunderdash first!” Thundercracker snapped.

The ensuing argument lasted three days, you couldn’t care less but played along anyways because the bribing was truly outrageous.

You secret nest exactly way too high up in the base now has fairy lights, twenty pounds of scrap metal, and three Cybertronian engineering textbooks.

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

2020 20 Fact Game!

Thank you very much to @petrichoravellichor for the tag!

1. Do you make your bed?

....no, but I should. I need to start doing it every day

2. What's your favorite number?

9! I've always liked it for some reason. Maybe because it's my birthdate

3. What's your job?

I work in a bakery in a grocery store! (Soon-to-be cake decorator!)

4. If you could, would you go back to school?

HELL no, lmao. I don't have any plans to go to college either.

5. Can you parallel park?

Nope. But I've also never tried it, so who knows.

6. A job you had which would surprise people?

Idk. I babysat my neighbors kids for a year when I was like 14? That might surprise people cause I have no chemistry with kids and don't usually like them (it's on a case-to-case basis, though)

7. Do you think aliens are real?

Yes. I think it's a little narcissistic to think that in the vast, literally INFINITE universe that we're the ONLY planet that contains life. But, do I think aliens have ever come to Earth and they're hold up somewhere in Area 51? No.

8. Can you drive a manual car?

No.

9. What's your guilty pleasure?

Oof uhh probably a lot of things lmao! Hmmm... I still collect stuffed animals and the song The Longest Time by Billy Joel

10. Tattoos?

(I love how this question is worded lol. Just tattoos question mark.)

I don't have any. I have nothing against them, but I don't have anything meaningful enough to put it permanently on my body, not to mention I'm extremely indecisive and I don't think I could ever get one because I know I'd get sick of it at some point.

11. Favorite color?

Baby blue.

12. Things people do that drive you crazy?

Customers leaving items in random places around stores (people do a lot of things but that's my biggest pet peeve even outside of work)

13. Any phobias?

Spiders, bugs, heights, and drowning (fun fact, I had a near-drowning experience when I was 3)

14. Favorite childhood sport?

SOCCER. I was the best goalie. The ball never got past me.

15. Do you talk to yourself?

Always have. I think everyone does, to some extent.

16. What movie do you adore?

It's a three way tie: Back to the Future (*cough* @letsseeifyoubastardscando90), 101 Dalmatians (@dogsofdisney), and The Wizard of Oz. Those are my top 3 favorite movies, I quote them all the time (especially the first one) and I know all sorts of trivia about each of them.

17. Do you like doing puzzles?

I LOVE puzzles.

18. Favorite kind of music?

Easy. Fall Out Boy.

19. Tea or coffee?

Coffee, unless the tea is peach tea, then I like both.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up?

A dog. For years when I was little I really wanted to be a dog. Forget school, forget homework, forget being a human, just the carefree life of a dog.

I tag: @tallsadsam @moonscastiel @magneticghouls @atinystankings @someoneoffthestreet @dammitsammy and anyone else who wants to do this, consider yourself tagged and say I tagged you!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #247

“i tried to choke my mom with my umbilical cord, the doctor was too busy amputating my horns.”

Have you ever had confetti pancakes? I don't believe so. Do you obsess over your appearance? To a degree, ex. in regards to weight. Are you responsible for stuffing someone’s stocking? No. What’s your favorite romantic comedy? Ah man, idk. I like romcoms, just none are coming to mind right now. Do you stock up on make-up palettes during November? ????? no????? Have you ever taken a class online? Yes. Do you have a Neopets account? Omg I have so many piled up, I'm sure, lol. Loved that shit and kept going back. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? No. Do you think time really does heal all? No. Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? HEAT, FUCKING CHRIST. Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? Mom helped me search for one of my mood stabilizers that the cat got out of my basket... We never found it. A new bottle. Thank god my psychiatrist just gave me a sample pack til my prescription can be refilled. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? Yes. Do you get a cold around the holidays? I rarely get sick, regardless of the season. Does it snow where you live? Rarely. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Is hair gel a turn off on guys? "Not necessarily, but too much can be." <<<< This. Do you think cursing makes people sound unintelligent? Lol fuck off. What’s something you can cook extremely well? The only thing I CAN cook is cheesy scrambled eggs but I mean they're exceptionally good lol. Have you ever been bitten by a snake? Nope. How about a spider? Possibly at some point. If you don't want kids, was there ever a time you did, and vice-versa? The only time I ever wanted kids was deep into Jason's and my relationship. It's funny because I wanted three and now I'm just all NOPE. I stopped wanting kids after him. What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? Idc. Do you ever count sheep to help you fall asleep? No. Do you have a youtube channel? If so, when did you start it? Yeah. I was on YouTube real early... don't remember the actual year, though. Do you have a secret crush right now? No. When was the last time you called customer service? I haven't. Do you take birth control pills? Not currently for mood reasons, but with my incredible fear of being raped, I kinda wanna go back. Do you like chocolate cake? Yeah man. Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? Plenty of people, myself included. Do you regret letting a certain guy or girl slip away? Ugh idk. There's no telling how awfully or well that path would've gone. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you consider yourself a good artist? Decent, anyway. Do you ever play board games anymore? Not really, I don't enjoy board games. The only time I ever really do is if Girt's over cuz that's like our "thing." Who was your first celebrity crush? Whew, Jesse McCartney. Who in your family did you get your height from? Mom. Who did you get your smile from? your hair color? your eye color? Smile, idk. Hair, also unsure. Dad was born dirty blond like me, but his hair turned black. Meanwhile I think Mom has always had brown hair, but hers is very dark/almost black. My maternal grandpa had blue eyes like me. Do you have big or small hands? Idk, normal. What was the name of your first imaginary friend you remember having? I never really had one. Do you pray to God regularly? Considering I don't believe in Him, no. What is your favorite version of the Bible to read? Even growing up religious, I sure never spent time reading various versions of the Bible. Have you been baptized? If so, how and where were you baptized? I was as a baby in a Roman Catholic church. You know, the traditional baptism with being dipped in water. Do you eat meat? Sadly. What college did you go to? and what was your major? I'm not sharing what college I go to, but my major is Art & Design. Do you miss living with a roommate? I look back on living with Jason, Jacob, and Amanda fondly most of the time, but idk if I can say I miss it. I at least don't miss my mental health. Have you ever been abused in any way? I feel incredibly thankful that I haven't... It seems like most people I know have been in some way or form. Do you like unicorns? Yeah man, they're dope. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? Idk, some year in elementary school. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Ha ha no, I've got a cat for that. He insists on being cuddled most of the time. Name 3 things you are allergic to. Just pollen and silver. Oh, I do get headaches from artificial sweeteners, but "allergic" seems like the wrong word. Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? The only two books I know I've read more than once are Because of Winn-Dixie and the Meerkat Manor book. Who was your favorite Rugrats character? Uhhh I think it was just regular ole Tommy. Which fairytale resembles your life the most? Uh idk. Do you play games on your phone a lot? No. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Text Sara. Where do you buy most of your clothes? Wal-Mart or Hot Topic. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Do you have family that lives in another state? Oh yeah, we're all the hell over the place. What states have you lived in? Only NC. Do you watch birth vlogs on youtube? bitch what the fuck What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet. Favorite arcade game? I neeeeeed to find an arcade one day that actually has the Silent Hill game. It's so rare. I'm sure I'd love it. Have you ever found a roller coaster relaxing? Uh no, but I've never been on one, nor can I even imagine one ever being relaxing. Have you ever seen a spirit? I believe I have. Have you ever been kidnapped? Yikes no. Is there a running trail near your house? Not that I'm aware of. A game you cheated on in elementary school? None that I remember? Do you wear a retainer at night? I'm SUPPOSED to, but I haven't in so long that it doesn't even fit anymore. Where is the last place you had a kiss? The airport. When was the last time you cried out of physical pain? I think it hasn't been since that infected cyst was drained in like late '16. FUCK that. Have you ever done anything to Support the Troops? No. Do you donate blood? I did once, but now I'm too nervous to because I know I don't drink enough water and don't wanna faint. Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? Ha, yeah, my sisters and I did. They were just a silly gift sometimes. What were you the last time you went trick or treating? WOW I couldn't even try to tell you, that's reaching far back. What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? The badass names lmao. Where did your mom go to high school? Somewhere in NY. What’s a subject you would never major in? Mathematics. Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? No. I'm only EVER capable of doing so with Mom, but even then I don't like it. Have you ever swam in a river? Yeah, as a kiddo. I don't think I would now. What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? Cinnamon rolls omfggggg. What food do you hate the smell of uncooked? Fish, I guess? Has a bee ever stung you? Yes, once. Where did you last go camping? Never been. In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I can't Christmas shop considering I don't have an income. Have you ever slept in a bed with someone with bad BO? Yes. Do you have a favorite flavor at Baskin Robbins? No. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? HUNNY Hannah Hart is a GODDESS godDAMN What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? I'm too lazy for a garden. Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I would definitely inform them of it being a completely valid and safest form of STD prevention, but I don't believe it should be what is "right." What's important is educating them on safe sex and to choose whom they're intimate with very carefully. I absolutely encourage them being taught what being "too young" means, too. Now what "too young" is can be argued, but let's be a late teen at least. When’s the last time you went to Chuck E. Cheese? Boy, I don't have a clue. What’s your favorite cheese or cheese flavored food? American. Cheese-flavored food is absolutely impossible to pick. Do you like black licorice? I hate licorice. Do you watch anything on the E! network? No. Have you ever tried out or thought of trying out for American Idol? Nope. Did you keep any momentos of high school dances? I had my... what's it called? The flower band on your wrist? Whatever, I had that for a long time. Do you still have clothes from your high school dances? I have both prom dresses. I'm probably gonna try to sell them this prom season though because I have absolutely no reason to keep them, and I'm poor lmao. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Ever been to the original 13 colonies? I live in NC so like,,, Have you ever been to a concert that got out of control? Nope. Can you jump rope double dutch? I used to be able to as a kid. I loved jump rope. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? Eek... idk. Actually, I might know. I want to know, but also don't, if whether or not how I treated Jason after the breakup was abusive or not. I've asked people in my life, old therapist included, if it was from what I told them (which was honest), and the unanimous answer has been no, that I was sick/actually insane and heartbroken beyond words, but yeah. I still wonder about it. Do you have a bucket list? If so, what are the top three things? Not really, but I mean of course there's things I wanna do, top two (idk about three) being to meet Mark and visit the KMP to photograph and pet the meerkats. Do you feel you had a happy childhood? For the most part, yeah. When did you last cry in front of another person? Last week when I was having a meltdown about school. How do you feel about tattoos and piercings? Explain. I LIVE!!!!!!!! FOR THEM!!!!!!!! As someone who never felt totally comfortable in her body, one thing that has always helped me has been new tats and piercings. It's like a more permanent form of make-up, you could say. All they've ever done is make me like a part of myself. Do you wear a lot of makeup? Why/why not? I almost never do unless I want to take a "pretty" picture. Talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. JINKIES!!!!!!! UHHHHHHH man that's hard 'cuz there's a whole whoppin' load. I guess I can talk about some lyrics from Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait" that used to make me really emotional back in the dark days: "Every day that you wait, you're falling faster / no sleight of hand, no twist of fate, no ever after / when it's gone - it's gone, a fight to the bitter end." Just that whole song used to sting so much when I felt like I really was just entirely wasting my life being sad every day. Just like... a lot of Ozzy's lyrics have really resonated and stuck with me. I still have the hardest time believing the Parkinson's news. God, life's cruel. Poison a legendary singer's voice. I hope, so long he feels truly capable, this concert still happens so I can actually hear and see him one time and literally sob and okay I'm getting emotional basically I Love Ozzy Osbourne. List the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. Ha, speaking of concerts. Only seen Alice Cooper, but it was aaaaaaamazing! Outside in a (mostly light) thunderstorm playing some classic good shit. It was a fun adventure, especially having my younger sis, a full-on redneck, come along just because she was bored and came for the ride. She was so, so, SO confused and creeped out and was NOT fucking happy when he brought his python on stage as he usually does. We were absolutely drenched when it was over; the ride home, we were freezing, and changing out of those soaked clothes was like a holy experience. Who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? Jason telling me he forgives me and doesn't hate me. Do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organized/not organized? I don't, sadly. My bed is where I do like... everything, which I hate. I'd love to turn my sister's old room into like my "work" room, where I do homework, draw, etc., but I can't for a number of reasons. What is your night time routine? Go to the bathroom, take my meds, go to bed. Not very complicated. What’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? Certain places I've "done things" oops. If you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? I wanna dye my hair lilac currently. I wouldn't change the style. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? N/A What’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? Murder, to name just one. If you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? If you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? My hair is short now. What is the most important thing to you in your life right now? My mental health.

[emilywatchescursedshow]

S2 E6 - No Exit

Uhoh I'm watching the recap and it's edited to be about Jo and Ellen so I guess that's what the episode is about. "You're afraid of my mother?" "I think so" still hits

No one else but me cares about this but keyboard shortcuts in the tumblr text editor do not read in dvorak. I'm in dvorak layout rn and the "B" key is coded to X but if I want to bold I do ctrl+"B" not ctrl+"N" which is the key that B is coded to. Explains why my copy/paste shortcuts have been all fucked up while I make these posts. And is just kind of interesting from the perspective of what even is the tumblr text editor??? Unknowable.

But here we are, I can't eat, I've been sleeping like shit, I have to stick around (on Long Island) until I meet with my advisor until 2:30pm and I've already read too much spn fanfic for someone who hasn't seen this show so let's keep watching shallllll we?

Blonde girl has checked the fuzes and is now getting covered in creepy goo. OOO creepy goo is oozing out of the outlet, and now there's just a guy's eye. That was kind of a strangely paced scene.

Had to rewind to get a sus on the camera work they did - a flyover shot of the roadhouse comes down to an OTS shot on Dean, a little disorienting. Don't know why the name Katie Holmes is funny and/or bitch "for Dean" but I also don't know why we're describing Jo and Ellen arguing as a "catfight" so I'm taking a lot of stuff on spec real fast with this episode.

Ellen wants Jo to go to school. "Nebraska is for Lovers." Why is a family with two children coming into a bar at 10 am.

All young blondes missing from a building uhoh is the fact that Jo is blonde going to be relevant are they going to use her as bait?

Dean Jo literally punched you in the face so hard you dropped a rifle I feel like you shouldn't be so quick to judge.

Sam picked up on the goo real fast. Dean is having a weird attitude about this episode.

Jo is here and feeling Dean up real hard to sell the "bf" thing. Got a screencap for my new profile pic lololol.

Ellen has the opposite parent syndrome to John.

Jo is having to go through Dean hazing I don't love watching this. Why are we having this Dean being an asshole.

"You think women can't do the job" no experience... what is happening right now.

I see where both characters are coming from here but I just wish Dean wasn't such a fucking jerk to her before, great way for a person to be defensive is to give them something to be defensive over.

Is this going to be like that one xfiles epsiode with the stretchy man? Is that why that one scene was paced so weirdly to focus on the screw? Bc the xfiles episode was all about unscrewing things from the inside.

Dean reaching blindly into a hole to find a piece of scalp. Gross.

Ah yes, me when I am a hot blonde lady receiving flyers for a lingerie party and have a countertop absolutely stuffed full of apples. And then I get my ankle grabbed by something in a vent and just fall over and start screaming?? I'm sorry but you need to sell the monster a little more than that. What's it going to do? pull her into the vent??

Uhoh we got another screen-cappable moment. Literally the worst sleep position in the history of the world Dean. Great job. Yeah no wonder your back hurts.

Is Dean going to have to confront the fact that Jo is very much not ok? Or are they going to keep not talking at each other until Jo inevitably gets murdered by the fans.

Uhoh Dean telling a story about his dad. The chain necklace is back. The Jacting around "I bulls-eyed every one of them.. but I don't know."

Jo is a Dean foil in this episode I guess? Or she's what Sam could have been if his mom didn't die and his dad wasn't a fucking asshole. Whatever - she's someone Dean has to bounce off of in a "self recognition" type of way. Which makes me happy their romantic "tension" hasn't really been played as such during this episode.

There's apparently "nothing wrong" with being a hunter to get close to your dad. Who is dead. From being a hunter. I hate this stupid logic.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. A) Sam still has his ghost broke hand in a stupid cast and B) ash sent them. a text file. a fucking. a fucking text file list. of the people executed. I love this show.

Herman Webster Mudgett the three name serial killer classic. Sam is fangirling over HH Holmes. Sam listens to my favorite murder and is a little bitch on the facebook page.

I guess we're just going to fucking destroy this apartment building that keeps leasing to blondes for some reason. "Jack squat" when you can't curse on a ghost show.

Dean's "you're inexperienced line" is ancient history at this point he just let's Jo go on by herself.

Yeah I mean, duh. They had zero plan.

Now it's time for Dean to come to the rescue. At least by now we can be confident that Jo isn't immediately dead.

"She's taking care of ... feminine business"

If John is the reason Jo's father is dead.. that would be interesting.

"There's nothing you could have done." Actually, he could have stopped her from going lmao, that seems pretty clearly like something he could have done.

Jo baby just breathe.

Oh we're having prisoner to prisoner communication.

Where did the hand come from? And he's just yanking some hair?

Me when I'm normal walking down the street with what I'm assuming is a metal detector turned EMF reader and a shovel. Time to dig.

Sam take your cast off.

Extra spiders in the hole just so you know it's creepy.

They could have like, actually used her as bait. That would have been an interesting test maybe of like, her commitment to hunting bc then she would have to deal with the fear of being in danger as something that didn't happen like, accidentally. They could have had her foil be Sam, who didn't want to be a hunter, who wanted to go to school, and now has chosen to be a hunter to be close to his dad. Why Dean??? The bottle shooting story was good but like, is that advancing his character that much? Like Dean should not capitulate to Jo's desire to be a hunter so easily, whereas that would be a much more interesting angle for Sam's character to be challenged. Whatever.

She's bait now I guess. And HH Holmes is just. Here now. And is doing an amazing performance of being completely .. uh.. trapped by salt.

H o w and whyyyyyyy?? But.. yes?? (About the cement mixer with weird rock anthem stings.) Filling that sewer with cement will take 1 million years I'm not sure they thought through this.

Is Ellen going to tell them what "that's not the first time I've heard that from a Winchester" meant? Or is she going to continue the not explaining herself routine she had with that one hunter.

Yessssss give us the dirtyy backstory Ellen.

Why are Dean and Sam being blamed for something their father did.

Okay the why still holds what the fuck??

[jaskiersbard]

Amberprice AND ripley/Samuels ;)

YES YES YES :D

Amberprice:

Who said “I love you” first: Hmm...I can kind of see Rachel doing it but also Chloe blurting it out and being like “...shit” before Rachel smiling and saying “I love you too”

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Well, we know that Chloe definitely had Rachel as her phone background (in episode 3 of LiS, if you don’t make certain choices, then her phone background is Rachel - but if you side with Chloe 3/4 times, then it’s Max) and then that little bit at the end of Before the Storm (which we pretend doesn’t exist, fuck you Jeffershit) we see Rachel’s phone; I’m not sure if the picture of her and Chloe is her background or just caller ID though xD

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Chloe’s the graffiti queen but I also find the idea of Rachel leaving little notes written on the bathroom mirror for Chloe too?

Who buys the other cheesy gifts: I just love the image of Rachel whipping out a massive stuffed animal with a love heart and presenting it to Chloe? xD She’s into theatrical shit, after all. I feel it’d be a bit ironically, like “all couples do this, Chloe, I’m just following tradition!” 

Who initiated the first kiss: It was Rachel :3

Who kisses the other awake in the morning: They both do? I kind of feel like Rachel wakes up a little earlier than Chloe, so she’d be the one doing it the most.

Who starts tickle fights: Chloe maybe? But then Rachel turns it around on her and gets her own back!

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Pffft Rachel will go for a shower and be like “I might need help with those...hard to reach places ;)”. 

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Rachel is definitely the more confident of the two of them, and Chloe is a bit of a gay mess (”Nice Rachel we’re having” - me too, Chloe) so I can imagine Chloe being super nervous and sweaty-palmed; I think she’d obviously feel more comfortable as the date goes on, though!

Who kills/takes out the spiders: Aww, something in me is saying that Chloe does it because I love the idea of Rachel Amber being terrified of spiders of all shapes and sizes; after Chloe takes them out, Rachel kisses her and calls her “my hero” 

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: This has got to be Chloe xD Rachel loves it

Ripley/Samuels

Who said “I love you” first: Amanda, I suppose, though I can imagine Christopher calling her “love” all the time. “Amy, love...” “Alright, love” “have a nice day, love”

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Christopher totally has Amanda’s picture on the background of every device he owns xD She visits him at work and sees the photo of her as his background and is so bemused 

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: LMAO for some reason I just imagined Samuels entering the bathroom after Amanda’s been in it and finding a note on the mirror saying something like “next time, join me” xD But I can also imagine Christopher leaving notes for her while she’s still in the shower or if he has to leave before she’s awake, and she steps out/goes to the bathroom to see a sweet little message from him, like “have a good day, love” or something :3

Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Samuels hasn’t been in a relationship before - his one with Amanda is the one and only, an irregularity - and so when they first start dating he watches romantic movies to try and figure out how to do it properly (because Amanda deserves that, he thinks). Safe to say, some of the gifts he buys her are beyond cheesy and he soon learns that the last thing Amanda wants is a giant stuffed bear as big as herself with love hearts for eyes. She accepts it, somewhat touched, but makes a point of telling him not to do it again.

Who initiated the first kiss: Amanda initiates their first kiss, somewhat cautious because she’s not sure if he actually wants it or if he’s just doing it to serve her - the last thing she wants is to take advantage of him like an asshole. He does want it, of course, but he’s not really comfortable initiating because he hasn’t done it before and he has absolutely no data on how he’s supposed to do it. (he learns eventually, thankfully)

Who kisses the other awake in the morning: Once they start sharing a bed, he spends the nights by her side and doing checks on his systems/recharging/whatever-it-is-he-would-do; he can tell when she’s starting to come out of sleep, she’s so groggy and she moves about, and he starts a habit of kissing her shoulders or neck as she wakes up

Who starts tickle fights: Amanda started one, and was then understandably regretting it when it turned out he wasn’t ticklish (of course he isn’t, she thinks, mentally huffing); he turned that around on her very fast. He’s not too aggressive with the tickling, though, since he doesn’t want to hurt her accidentally (synthetics do seem to be a lot stronger than your average human)

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: (assuming they’re sleeping together at this point) Let’s be real, Amanda is shameless about it; she outright says “come join me in the shower?” and he knows from the look on her face that she definitely isn’t intending on the two of them actually showering. Having said that...just after what happened at Sevastopol, sometimes he jumps in the shower with her just because she needs to be held under the water; nothing sexual, she just doesn’t feel safe alone after what happened, and him being there makes her feel safe.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Amanda gets caught up in her projects and sometimes forgets to eat because she’s so eager to get what she’s working on up and running. Christopher notices, ofc, and makes a point of visiting her during his own lunch break with some food for her because “Amanda, love, you need food, starving won’t help you finish your work”. He doesn’t need to eat, though he probably could if necessary.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Christopher Samuels is literally a mess before their first date: he’s not sure how he’s supposed to act, what he’s supposed to do etc. Bizarrely he feels hot and like his systems can’t keep up, like there’s an error or something, but all scans/checks show that nothing is amiss. He meets her for the date and she sees he’s nervous, which befuddles her a bit but she tells him not to be (”It’s fine to be nervous, Chris-” “I’m not nervous, Amanda, I’m just...I’m...” “..Sure.”) - it’s just like any other time they’ve gone out/spent time together, really (just with more of a romantic element to the relationship though)

Who kills/takes out the spiders: Technically, Christopher isn’t afraid of anything (at least, so he claims); before Sevastopol, Amanda didn’t really have too much of a problem with spiders...but then they started to remind her of the facehuggers crawling towards her, scuttling and crawling at high speed. Samuels doesn’t want to harm them - it’s not in his nature - so he carefully catches them before putting them out.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: This just screams Amanda Ripley to me xD I mean, Christopher can’t really get drunk I guess, unless he has enough of it to seriously mess with his various systems/programming, but Amanda gets drunk xD She doesn’t really do it in public, but in their shared apartment and so there’s no shame when she proclaims at the top of her lungs how much she loves Christopher (usually while he’s attempting to help her to bed)

[fiveshots-nokills]

All numbers, Widow and Gerard ;)

oh my god why would you do this to me

1. Who is the early bird/ Who is the night owl?Amelie can stay up all night no problem but ask her to get up early and she’ll kick u in the faceNeither of them really liked getting up early but Gerard was less bitter about it2. Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?Gerard is the big spoon. (Was?)3. Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?Amelie is that bitch who hogs the covers but does Gerard care? no. he just wraps himself around her and forces her to share and she fake pouts but she loves it and after a while of being in talon she started to ask sombra to do the same because as she started to remember she couldn’t handle being alone4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?Gerard def (although Amelie would on Gerard’s birthday)5. Who usually has nightmares?Neither of them They’re Happy There’s Nothing Wrong HaHaHaHAHAH i’m in pain6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day? Gerard is the kind of person to be like “do you think pigeons have feelings” in the middle of the night but if you’re talking abt legit deep probably Amelie7. Who sweats the small stuff?Amelie, but like secretly. She’s nervous sometimes that she’s too aloof and not affectionate enough for gerard but he loves her just the way he is GoD I’mGiVIng MYselF FeeLS AnoN8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?Amelie wears floofy sweatpants and tshirts. Gerard sleeps shirtless but he wears pants (sometimes)9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?Amelie, bc she doesn’t trust gerard to make hers right10. Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?Amelie has a sweet tooth. gerard just likes candy,, any and all candy11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?Gerard loves horror movies. Amelie is a coward (Gerard also likes romance movies, and Amelie complains about them but secretly she thinks they’re adorable)12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?Gerard is the smol,,, i mean his gf is like 6′0 so13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?Amelie lmaooo14. Who kills the spiders?Gerard ironic bc a spider got him in the end hahahha kill me15. Who is scared of the dark?Amelie again. it’s why she likes that gerard cuddles her he makes her feel safe16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?Amelie… but she pretends she’s not while hiding under the covers “just for fun, gerard, stop laughing”17. Who works/ Who stays at home?Gerard works from home most of the time !! he tries to never be stationed away for too long, or to get stationed near where Amelie is performing if he can.18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?Amelie is a cat person and gerard is a dog person. they have one of each. the cat’s name is Noire, it’s a black cat with beautiful yellow eyes. the dog’s name is Ulysses bc Amelie thought it was dumb so of course Gerard went with it19. Who loves to call the other one cute names?Gerard ofc but Amelie calls him things in french20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?no21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?Amelie loves ballet. She loves watching it, dancing it, and the classical music that goes with it. Gerard really likes collecting state quarters, even though he lives in france. amelie thinks it’s stupid. he thinks its fun.22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?Amelie, surprisingly. She’s got the wine, the fancy dinner, the romantic stroll through the park – if it was up to gerard, he would probably just stand outside her window with a jukebox thinking that was romantic23. Who asks who out on the first date?Amelie asked gerard, which surprised him a TON. i mean, he was flirting with her for months but he didn’t think she reciprocated?? and then one day she’s like “so want to get coffee on saturday” and hes like SHIT YEAH OKAY SOUNDS GOOD24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener? Gerard talks a lot more but that’s okay. Amelie chimes it when it counts.25. Who wears the other ones clothes?Both of them. Gerard looks great in a tutu. Amelie loves his sweatshirts and his overwatch jacket26. Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?Amelie eats super healthy bc she’s got to stay in shape. She sneaks chocolate a lot though. Gerard likes to taunt her by eating a family sized bag of doritos in her presence once. He sleeps on the couch that night.27. Who takes a long shower/ Who sings in the shower?Amelie takes a super long shower. They both sing. They’re both terrible at singing.28. Who is the book worm?Amelie. She’s read pride and prejudice ten times. She still cries at the end.29. Who is the better cook?Amelie, but she’s never around. Gerard mostly makes frozen lean cuisine meals or hot pockets30. Who likes long walks on the beach?you would think i’d say amelie but neither of them honestly? they don’t get much time to go to the beach and Gerard prefers the woods anyway31. Who is more affectionate?Gerard, at least overtly.32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?Amelie. She doesn’t really do small talk, especially since they don’t get to spend much time together.33. Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ Who would wear “sin” t-shirt?Amelie wears the “not guilty” t-shirt and gerard wears the “sin” t-shirt34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?Amelie reluctantly wears the “if lost return to” shirt and gerard of course wears the “i am gerard” shirt with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. there’s a picture of them wearing it in disney world. gerard has mickey ears on. amelie looks like she wants death.35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?They both spoil each other honestly. Amelie sometimes feels bad bc she makes a lot more money than gerard does but he’s like I Must Treat My Wife Like The Queen She Is36. Who is the social media addict?Gerard. He has everything and he’s famous on all of them. Amelie runs a very successful instagram37. Height difference or age difference?Height difference. Gerards a few inches shorter and Amelie teases him a lot about it38. Who likes to star gaze?Amelie, but Gerard will join her just to see how pretty she is under the night sky there i go again giving myself the feels39. Who buys cereal for the prize inside?gerard, obviously40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?Gerard is the fun parent to outsiders looking in, but in reality, it’s amelie that sneaks her children cookies when they’ve already had a snack and who lets them eat dessert before dinner sometimes and spoils them41. Who cries during sad movies? Both of them, though Amelie will never admit to it.42. Who is the neat freak?Amelie, god. she’s never around to clean up though, so their flat gets to be a mess sometimes43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?Gerard tries. He really does. He wants to have a grand romantic gesture but in the end, he just really can’t beat amelies aim jesus i need to stop44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?Amelie is more active but I would never call Gerard lazy. He’s an accomplished fighter and works hard to protect the people he loves and the world. People write him off as a goof sometimes, but he can be very serious when he needs to be and is excellent at his job.45. Who is more likely to get drunk?Amelie. She always thinks one bottle of wine isn’t enough to get her drunk. It’s more than enough.46. Who has the longer food order?Gerard. He just wants to try everything47. Who has the more complex coffee order?Amelie lmao but normally she makes her coffee herself bc the baristas “never get it right”48. Who loses stuff?Gerard, amelie is really good about keeping track of her things since she travels so much. Meanwhile, gerard’s got one shoe at watchpoint gibraltar and the other at the Swiss HQ and for some reason can never remember to reunite them49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?Gerard drives bc Amelie is always tired and needs rest50. Who is the hopeless romantic?Both of them

Whew I did it i hope you like my cute headcanons (although it’s my personal headcanon that post-talon stuff widow regrets killing gerard but no longer has feelings for him which is Really Angsty so)

Send me a ship & some numbers!

[prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides]

1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.