#I am going to fix that one shitty meme at a time

[symbiotic-slime]

venom + text posts part 6: flash thompson edition bc I love him

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 39 - The Love Killer

AKA the yandere dogboy episode. Yippie!

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. To bring back the meme:

God won't let me die...

The translation is not finished because I do not give a fuck, but here is where I stopped. I doubt anyone else will give a fuck either, considering it's just a keysmash.

He's never beating those japanese-coded allegations.

Silly aprons are a family tradition.

I wonder if this is where Kerubim lived considering he, like... didn't have a house. Or a family.

Oh my god, the shitty magical merchant guy had a shitty magical merchant mom.

I see claws on a catboy and my brain turns off. Kill me.

You can't be talking like that, Ouginak baby. Btw the can says "fish".

KERUBIM LIKES TO COOK. SEE? I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU. He's an Amaknean boy, like Yugo. And he's cooking crepes!

Though, he's... bad at it.

Presented without commentary.

Do not be making that face while in the same litter box as Keke, oh god.

Ecaflips use litterboxes confirmed.

UNDERAGE DRINKING REAL.

I bet Kerubim is the one who buys bamboo milk for the gang. He can probably pass for a very short ecaflip man, instead of a teenage boy.

People reading my blog talking about it be like: this is scary, downright creepy.

Also, whatever I imagine happened between Kerubim and Atcham is also scary. Even downright creepy.

The Astrubian lake tower, my beloved.

Somehow, despite being a boy, Kerubim has managed to have two evil adolescent girl friendships that end in your friend (who is a tar pit) sending you messages saying that she will "kill you with a knife" the next time she sees you at school. (One with Patafiks, and another with his literal brother.) This too, is feminism.

I like to think that while in the orphanage, he had to break up like this with Atcham too. Like "I know we're brothers, but um. uh. I don't want to be seen with you anymore. I mean—— you get beat up constantly, and people hate you, and then they hate me when you're nearby. Which is a bummer. Also you threaten everyone too much after they beat you up, and it's stressful. And I can't take it anymore... We can still be friends though,, haha."

I like to think Atcham's response was "I AM GOING TO KILL MYSSSELF AND IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT." or something. I like to imagine he had that ~mentally ill child~ style flair for the dramatic at that age. I like to think they were both awful to one another.

Another thing I like to think to myself, is that Atcham got kicked from the orphanage and ended up in Brakmar, and the reason he got kicked out is stabbing someone. Perhaps Keke, during some argument, — or perhaps someone else, in retaliation to whatever bullying he was going through. And that Kerubim was scared shitless of him by the end.

I just think it's a fun thought.

Basically, if that Ruby girl, Patafiks, and Atcham smoked weed together in a Bad Mentally Ill Bitches Obsessed With Revenge Club, Pangaea would reform.

Since this is already an Atcham headcanon heavy blogpost, I will say, I think using The Love Killer on Atcham would have fixed his every single problem.

Sadly, Kerubim has spent his entire life under the impression that Atcham actually hates him, whereas in actuality, whatever the fuck is happening, is 20 times funnier.

After a single minute of prodding by Joris he switches to therapyspeak and goes "well i need SOMEONE to be mad at. it's like a coping mechanism. if i need to be mad at something, it might as well be kerubim. because he's there. 😥"

It's interesting that with Patafiks and his ecaflip friends it took a second for them to hate him enough to cut all ties.

It's also interesting that this doesn't happen to Simone: Julie and her were on a bad date, but they were on it for a long time. And, Kerubim and Joris were haters for her, but all they could manage is some cleaning complaints.

Basically: Perhaps it can't ruin bonds that are very deep or genuine as fast? An enchantment meant to test the sincerity of a bond, gone awry? Or maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Flash frame!

As I've said in the previous blogposts: I really do think that Kerubim has a crush on Simone. Not in any creepy way — she's just the type of woman he's always liked, — headstrong and stylish, like Lou!

It's very cute. I am a big fan of friendships with one-sided crushes in media, especially when it's not awkward, or pointed out often, (the only exception being Dipper's whole Wendy-shtick in Gravity Falls. I think it was a pretty cool portrayal of the concept, despite being awkward), — because that's a very human thing that we can't really control, y'know?

It makes their friendship much more wholesome to me, personally.

Man. I love this show. And this silly old man. Even though he did fuck up superbly with the whole raising Joris thing.

[rivaille-13]

Hey Hans! I just noticed that you never really posted your new fanfic with the 1950-ish vibes here so let me be the one to promote it for ya lol

i know quite people are begging this lovely writer to update an epilogue for ATW or even asking updates of By Dawn but we never really had your answers *sad cries* until my email beeps that you actually posted another fic *holy moly*

And it’s freakin 1950’s. FOR REAL guys read it the title is “From Afar” and honestly Hans I’m kind of scared it has a cutesy vibes but at the same time it screams disaster and chaos just like the movie Edge of Love (ik ik, you’re a fan of Cillian just like moralee!)

Again, the writing is incredible im forever a fan. But pls Hans, could you please update By Dawn too? That story got me on chokehold I don’t know how I actually read that because I’m literally bawling every chapters but it’s still freaking beautiful

Ok love u

Wow, this is a long ask indeed! I don’t know what to answer first, it has been a while but please let me express my gratitude first. The amount of support I am still getting is very flattering and heart warming so thank you very much.

It has been two years since the last chapter of After The War, and I swear that I’ve tried to write an epilogue, but then tossed it right into the bin because there has been some changes I want to revise with the whole story. It feels like the story is still lacking plots, and I’m really not satisfied with the whole outcome and grammatical error…I’m still at Chapter 3 revision, and it’s taking me a long time and it’s killing me too.

While By Dawn, I’ll Leave is like the skeleton meme that was left chained at the bottom of the pool LOL I’m very kidding but yes, a year had already passed since I last updated a new chapter. To give you my answer, I have a draft of the next chapter — around 3,000 words but I definitely feel the need to drop a hell of a long chapter in regards to the POV of whom character I am writing…I think that this chapter should express the missing details (I know some of the readers are left hanging and dissatisfied with Levi and Mikasa’s choices) to give way that both of the characters suffered equally in their own way…alright no spoilers. Haha

And of course, I almost forgot! From Afar — 1950’s and stuff…I’m getting a lot of suggestions to write a 50’s one so here I tried. Tackles about the 1940-50’s, I actually don’t know how to react with that opinion of yours but it did make me laugh. The chaos and disaster, hmm…maybe? But it’s not going to land like The Edge of Love for sure, I don’t want Mikasa to be milking Levi’s military pension the way Vera did it to William (Cillian Murphy)! Hahaha, maybe the vibes, you know, I’m still head over heels towards Cillian as Levi and so on.

Thank you for promoting it again, and for the time to ask me such. I’m sorry, there’s no emoji available, my iPhone is shitty, I can’t put emoji on my text!

To everyone who wants to give From Afar a try, here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48274930

It’s not really fixed yet, like the title and tags could change but yeah, a 1950’s…enjoy and let me know what you think. (:

[clonerightsagenda]

Character ask meme: SecUnit

First impression

I think I mentioned this before but I actually read All Systems Red and didn't find it compelling enough to keep reading, so I forgot about it for a couple years and then finally read all of them in one go later, which worked a lot better. So I guess my first impression must've been fairly neutral.

Impression now

I think SecUnit's breakout popularity reveals it is a hero for our times - one who would rather not be here doing this. I'm very fond of AI and AI-adjacent characters, particularly those that aren't obsessed with being human or palatable to humans. I've added it to my Collection.

Favorite moment

And everything from the books immediately vanished from my head. Hate when that happens. Scaring the guy hitting on Amena by standing silently in his living room until he turned the lights on was pretty funny though. What media made you think that was a good strategy, SecUnit.

Idea for a story

I am torn between wanting more Murderbot books and wanting SecUnit to get a break. I think a sort of 'in universe text' fic with it annotating or critiquing some of its media could be fun, especially if that media included secunits. The Murderbot Diaries: SecUnit Writes Some Angry Fix It Fic. Like any other situation where a professional in a field starts pointing out everything a piece of media got terribly wrong. Where are those essays I wrote on The Magnus Archives......

Unpopular opinion

I feel like it's an even split here but I am pro-not shipping the bot. To each their own but to me it is an aro icon.

Favorite relationship

I've done ART for this meme already and answered ART & Murderbot for *its* post, and I dislike repeating myself, so I'll say Amena. The changes in their dynamic throughout Network Effect are a lot of fun to watch - Amena going from 'ugh my mom's weird work friend I guess?' to 'oh wow this is a person and it's got some Issues' to 'ok third mom'.

Oh also Ratthi because Ratthi is SecUnit Fan Club President and I respect that in a man.

Favorite headcanon

I saw someone point out that SecUnit introduces the PresAux crew in book one based on who has crushes on each other and speculated that comes from it learning about human interaction via a bunch of shitty dramas and I love that actually. SecUnit spends its time stoically standing guard in your research installation mentally designing shipping charts. It doesn't even enjoy it. That's just its schema for human interpersonal dynamics.

[safyresky]

Hello, I need to drop this in here before Season two of TSCS drop kicks me in a few days.

But I've had Fusion Au on the mind. In the brain. And I just frankly wanna know more about it. Whatever other information you can give I will GLADLY take. (Maybe even drop the fusion height chart 👉👈 if it is to be found)

Steven Universe has permanently altered my brain chemistry and I just wanna hear you talk about this silly little au that has been fluttering around lately.

F E L T. I have been hitting the ground RUNNING for Crystal Springs just to give myself decent AC for when the series picks up again (not sure if I'm gonna post the same day of the new episodes or the day AFTER, but New CS will be there to comfort me and maybe others in my our time of need).

I am not ready. I NEVER will be. I hope and pray that the Council isn't butchered, bc if we've got three confirmed Legendary Figures, I can't see us NOT getting the others. Or, maybe it WILL just be Sandy and Cupid and EB 2.0!! But idk. Idk man. Idk. I really want the snowball that gets thrown in Scott's face in the trailer to be courtesy of Jack. I know it won't be. But I fucking WISH and HOPE and AH.

OFF TOPIC!

I have a height chart floating around somewhere, but it is a stick figure doodle, so I will ATTEMPT to give you a proper?? Chart???

I think I said that Berline is about the size of two Elles stacked on top of each other (sitting on her shoulders) so I kinda eyeballed it based on that??? (me retconning so much about heights knowing that I had Berline pick Elle up and seat her in their palm lmao) So here we go, the main line up:

I eyeballed the SHIT out of this??? I may boost them all a whole ass foot lmao but Richard was liek "DANI. SEVEN FEET IS TALL!" and I was like I GUESS.

Also, as an aside??? The height chart site has a 3D one?? That actually disturbed me??? Thank GOD I was able to switch back! If I find the shitty lil stick figure height doodle I will edit to add it. Or reblog to add it, lol. ANYWAY.

Some info, you request? Okay! Let me marinate it in my head and see what I can do throughout the day:

If the entire frost fam fused they'd be called Frost and they'd be a DELIGHT. They don't talk much except for to be polite and they will throw melty molten rock at you at the drop of a hat, so it's a GOOD THING that Jackie doesn't exists when Frost does! Because they WOULD drop their hat on purpose just to see a fire show

Frost probably freezes in place a lot while thinking since there's 6 whole ass sprites in there having a discussion, which is a very funny mental image--just this blob of ice and fire BUFFERING and then suddenly some asshole gets pompeii'd lol

They're very sweet! Very polite. Always say please and thank you!

When Fino and Fiera fuse, Fire is just the opposite of the THERE'S TWO meme. There's ONE. And they are making it YOUR PROBLEM (they also do unfuse in my head very similarly to the THERE'S TWO meme)

Fire is also the most humanoid looking fusion, for sure!

Diteline really likes flower crowns. She will make you a flower crown or a lil grass bracelet if she's left alone with no threats and a bunch of nature. She's a big old sweetie, an absolute delight

Diteline kids, meanwhile, are a pain when they learn about fusion, and incredibly hard to keep track of once they master it. Those three lil buggers will bounce from fusion to fusion, going from helping to causing trouble to wreaking havoc to trying to fix something as simple as "oh shit, mom and mater will be home soon and we DIDN'T CLEAN THE KITCHEN LIKE THEY ASKED"

Inter season squabbles take on a whole new meaning when it's "shoulder season" time, as 9/10 times it's because the two seasons have fused and are still doing their jobs 😂😂

Of all the Frosts, Fino is the least likely to fuse! It's fun but not like, a big deal, y'know? Orc Friend (who's name is, in fact, Ken, and then I saw Barbie and. Well. But I can't not see him with any other name! It's short for Kenothy) was tres relieved about this, had a whole crisis about if they'd have to fuse at all and of course, overthought it in leaps and bounds 🫠🫠🫠

Fiera and Normal Man (His name is Norm bc I am a SUCKER for a PUNNY NAME) probably would equate to the Stevonnie plotline lol. Like, they'd fuse and Fiera would be like "I DIDN'T KNOW ORDIBEINGS COULD DO THAT! WOW!" And they'd be so excited and have a regular time, bc the normal and absolutely unhinged wild crazy balance out :)

I think their fusion is named Norma lol

Blaise and Pyros never fused, ever. They were not allowed to bc it "wasn't proper" for royalty to resort to something like that

(King and Queen Frost had a very hands-off approach with...messier conflicts. There's a reason they managed to scrape by when The Call happened)

If a redemption arc ever happened for Pyros, it A) wouldn't be one like Jack's, it'd be a more "oh so this was a fucked up upbringing and I need to stop blaming others and confront myself and maybe fix my shit or maybe get worse, who's to say" kind of thing, and B) there'd deffs be a fusion related plotline in Fusion AU, potentially involving murder of parents and/or falling into a volcano.

I think, somehow, of ALL the fusions, Elline (Elle and Jacqueline) are the most chillest one. She is SO chill. She probably always has sunglasses on or on her person. She's got great advice. She'll go with you for ice cream any day! She has such good vibes it's unREAL.

I want to/am in the process of giving the inter-season fusions names. So far we've got:

Flora: Spring/Summer

Fauna: Spring/Autumn

Mud: Spring/Winter.

She's very insistent on this name presently, but I think a wintry plant would be cuter, like Winterberry or Poinsettia or Snowdrop (my personal fave tbh) but NO. She's like "I make Mud therefor I am mud."

Everyone calls her Snowdrop and she's like "No, just Mud for short is fine" It's like. None of those letters are even IN "Snowdrop" Mud, the FUCK? CAN'T YOU CHARACTERS BE NORMAL. TO A POINT.

Evergreen: Autumn/Winter

Sunflower: Summer/Autumn

(I was torn between something plain and obvious like "Harvest", or a silly crop related pun like "Melony", then I remembered that in SDV Sunflowers grow in Summer and Autumn, you know, like they do in IRL and went OH THAT'S PERFECT!)

Summer/Winter fusion is definitely the poster fusion for vacations, lmao. Probably I'll think of something like THAT for their name. Maybe Snowbird? Bc that's what they call people who fly south for the winter on vacations? Lol

(smacks head of Season sisters) These ladies can fit SO MUCH PUNS in 'em

Blaise and Winter I don't think really fuse with the kiddos, not until later years. I know for sure Winter and Jacqueline on occasion have! She's called Flurry and has the MOST energy ever always and is a sentient storm's WORST NIGHTMARE

Blinter the fusion. Can deffs. Pull other fusions apart. They can just pick up a fusion and be like "nope" and separate their asses. They do not abuse this power; it is just something they can do and it came in handy a LOT during the War of Succession

Which is probably actually when they first appeared! Trauma bonding 🥰🥰

So that's what I managed in a day! The heights are...average, I'd say. Not gospel, but like, the differences between the fusions? Solid. I eyeballed it 100%. I'm like MAKE EM BIG but then I'm like I WANT THEM TO BE SNEAKY AND BLEND IN WHEN THEY CAN AS JUST VERY TALL PEOPLE HUEHUEHUE. For some of them. SO YEAH. I HOPE THIS SATISFIES THE LIL ITCH? THE LIL TICKLE? THE LIL FUSION BUG??

I gotta like. Tidy Fusion AU up now that I've got Crystal Springs tidied up, too! It'll make it easier to write the Jackie Frost instalment, lol.

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - MORBIUS

IMDB BLURB: Biochemist Michael Morbius tries to cure himself of a rare blood disease, but he inadvertently infects himself with a form of vampirism instead.

WARNINGS: blood, violence, slow mo, nipples, darkness.

RATING: It's morbin' time.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

A NOTE: I know. I know. We’re pariahs for even watching this, but it’s what we DO. Now you don’t have to. 

Munch: Happy Birthday Biscuits! It's almost your birthday and we're punishing you with watching Morbius! This seems very timely, given the memes. Plus it's our job to review shitty movies, so....I can't believe I'm paying money for this shit. But for once, Munch gets to go in blind!

Biscuits: We're hopping on the morb train. The meme bandwagon. The Morbus to Morbtown. Fun story! I wanted to see this movie. I was like - well Jared Leto is in it but you know....maybe it'll be like the Venom movies, not good but fun!

M: Morbius said bisexual pride? Those are the bi colors. Well that was loud. Cerra De La Muerte, why is it always some island of the fucking dead? How many islands of the dead are there? A helichopper is here, and Dr. Morb, looking very morb.

B: He looks like Jesus.

M: Don't give Jared Leto any more ideas.

An overwhelming number of bats.

B: That's not true, bats don't just mob and murder large animals.

M: Dr. Morb holds up his bloody hand and the bats just come out of fucking nowhere, there's like a brazillian of them. And now it's MORBIN TIME. But first, his back story. Back 25 years ago before the morbing.

B: He was a young, sickly boy.

M: Holy shit it's Jared Harris. This is going to become a running joke. Morb has a blood disease. He's....infected. Needs regular oil changes. Biscuits once again suckin' down margarita like it's going out of style.

B: Oh shit, Milo is dead! He's fucking dead! Oh morb is super smart and knows how to fix the IV machine because he's got big brains. And the kid just instantly gets back up. He's fine. The doctor wants him to go to a school for gifted kids.

M: This sounds vaguely familiar. Like x men. And harry potter. We still don't know who Milo is. Lucien who just almost died is now getting his ass handed to him by some juvenile delinquents. Is his name Milo or fucking Lucien??? They keep calling him both. Morbo is now all grown up and he graduated stupid young and I have no idea what this has to do with Milo.

B: This backstory is as chopped up as...I don't know.

M: Morby is still pretty sickly looking though. He refused the ‘noble’ prize. Oh Milo is the benefactor to all these weirdo experiments. Morbo has a ton of bats. He's gonna use vampire bats dna to cure his weird blood disease. Oh he's gonna inject a mouse. That mouse is gonna MORB. Science always goes so fast in movies. The mouse is deadski.

B: What was supposed to happen to the mouse? It gets morbed? To save my best friend Milo who I shared 45 seconds of screen time with! Now the little girl is dying. Get this girl 100cc's of....drugs!

M: So they put her in a coma. Because you know. Science. Oh the mouse is fine. It came back.

B: Got morbed. Now he's gonna morb this poor sick child.

M: Oh damn we get to see Milo again. He's still sick. Jared Harris is still here. He hasn't aged a day despite everyone else aging 25 years.

B: Is that the guy who played Dr. Who?

M: Yep. Milo Who.

B: Milo just straight up rejected him. No bitches for Morbius. You up for a little morbin? Love is one thing, morbin...that's another. Now a callback to 10 minutes ago.

Michael Morbius & Milo, aka the M&Ms

M: Morbius is morbin up some dna in international waters where it's totally legal.

B: The biggest thing in this movie right now is that the pacing is going at BREAKNECK speed, everything is so poorly established. They did do a good job of making Morbius look on the brink of death because I am expecting Jared Leto to fucking die at any given moment. Oh NIPPLES, NIPPLES!

M: Oh my god.

B: Oh they're putting it in his spine AHHHHHHHH. You've never had a needle in your spine, I have! AHHHHHH. He's very skinny, but when he morbs he's gonna get so jacked. His nipples will be fully engorged.

M: You can't say things like that and expect me not to put it in there. Things are getting kinky, they have to tie Morbo down while he morbs. He's having a seizure or something. The lights will flicker on and off. He's unstrapped, he was just strapped down.

B: The seedy boat dude is down here checking on Morbius but he's bad because he disrespects women. They're doing delicate celibate research.

M: Morbo is now not on the table. He's hanging from the fucking ceiling making howler monkey noises. They shoot at him, but it's too late, he's MORBED. Oh my god, he looks hysterical. He ate that guy and how he's destroying shit.

B: Like Venom, he doesn't like noises. That woman just got pushed and she fell unconscious. Oh shit BULLET TIME. It's like the matrix! It looks bad. It does look like the source material but it shouldn't.

M: I don't even know what's happening. Morbo morbed and is killing fucking everyone.

B: He's going on a complete murderous morbius rampage. It feels like the whole movie has happened already.

M: Morbo wakes up and he's going back to being...human.

B: See he's buff! And he's got HUGE TITTIES. Did you see how big his titties are???

M: You're killing me. You are titty obsessed.

(Dib: What does LGBT stand for?? Leto got big titties??)

Biscuits is a proud member of the LGBT community.

B: *dies laughing* Morbius has to make sure his girlfriend is okay. He can hear her heartbeat because he's part bat.

M: I hope he's part sailor because he's got to get that boat back to land. Oh he's gonna Mayday it. Oh by the way you MURDERED everyone. Might wanna not be there when the cops show up. Oh the FBI is here. Doctor girl is in a coma just from getting pushed over. Morbo left an origami calling card though. Which was dumb.

B: Milo is like - that sounds like my ex boyfriend Morbius, he used to do that shit all the time. We used to Morb. Morbius is visiting his girlfriend in a coma. Whoops, sorry. My bad.

M: Oh the effects are wearing off. He's doing the stanky leg. He's gotta KEEP MORBIN. Despite the horrific side effects of murdering everyone. He's gotta get some blood.

B: He's using a pouch of blood like a fucking capri sun. Like a goddamn go gurt. He's doing math to figure out how often he needs to eat blood.

M: Morbius is like - well I'm a vampire but I'm really strong and I have huge tits so.....

B: Jared Leto is not a good actor. He's gonna vibe with his bat friends.

M: BATS DON'T MOB AND KILL PEOPLE. It doesn't happen. Oh he's got echolocation too. Oh this effect is so....so incredible. Wow. I can't even describe for our home audience how cool that was. The fake blood is only keeping him good for six hours, that's pretty bad.

B: Kids, don't do Morb. Milo shows up where Morbo has left all of his research carefully unguarded. He's locked himself in a cage to contain himself. He's writing BLOOD on the wall.

M: Milo has said Michael like 80 times.

B: Milo tries to pet him like a dog, lol. Milo is just like - HEY YOU'RE STRONG NOW.

Morbs do not appreciate being petted.

M: Nevermind all the sweating and blood drinking and shit. Milo is the one bankrolling this shit. Milo just wants the morb juice, damn the consequences. He wants big titties. I think Dib called it. Milo is gonna go get the morb juice and become the bad guy.

B: Dr woman is alive and concious. She doesn't know anything. She was dead at the time.

M: Is the FBI really suggesting that it looks like a vampire did this?

B: This is the MCU, they've seen weirder. But where is Dr. Morbius? Did he kill those people? Find out the next episode of Mighty Morbin Power Rangers.

M: We are not even halfway through!

B: HOW??? Again, the pacing of this movie is genuinely jarring. I don't know if it was the director or the writers or what but it's like being on a rollercoaster with pieces of the track missing.

M: Oh I guess he morbed out again and he's eating someone. Maybe. Might be Milo Morbin. Nobody notices that Morbius is suddenly tanned and jacked.

B: I'd smash that. Say what you will but I would hit that. Nobody notices how good he looks. Did he get some of that Captain America juice???

M: Oh the FBI found him. But his fake blood saved one of them. But they're like - hey you look pretty good for a guy who is mostly dead.

B: Did you do anything suspicious on that boat? Like turn into a vampire and eat a bunch of guys? He has beautiful eyes. I don't approve of anything he's said or done in his entire life but he's attractive. Morbius is gonna morb out and fight these dudes with his vampire powers. Oh he's got good leaps. 

He’s neo-ing all over the place.

M: He's got a grab bag of powers that would make Wolverine Origins Deadpool jealous. The bullet time is my favorite one. Now he's in jail. But they let him journal. They brought holy water to the interrogation so apparently they believe he IS a vampire.

B: Well he's gotta be SOMETHING because they just saw him do like a 40 foot vertical leap.

M: That's fair. Morbius is like - well I might have killed some people but I'm not like other Morbs. Also I'm about to morb out right now. Please bring my bag of fake blood.

B: I'm starting to get hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.

M: Milo shows up pretending to be his lawyer. He's gonna be like - the only way to fix this is to give me the morb juice.

B: They're charging me with murder. Well you did kill people! You very much did kill people!

M: Ooh maybe Milo killed that woman. He stole the morb juice. He did bring him some stuff though.

B: He's not walking with his cane anymore, he totally did.

M: Now Morbo is gonna have to get out and take out his childhood bestie.

B: The movie is just like Jared Leto sweating simulator.

M: It's morbin time. Oh fucking SHIT. He's fucking breaking through a concrete wall, for fuck's sake. Oh he's doing BIG JUMPS now. Stops for a spiderman style moment on top of a building. Oh and he's got like super hearing. Oh yeah Milo is definitely a vampire. We are halfway through this movie.

B:  I don't understand what is happening??? Was this movie obliterated on the editing floor or was this how it was supposed to be??

M: What the fuck is the rest of the movie???

B: Jared Leto being sweaty.

M: Milo is like - hey it's cool.

B: Milo's supervillian arc happened so fast. I don't even have a word for how nonsensical this movie's pacing is. Milo has Black Canary's sonic scream. Vampire wrestling match in the subway. The trail effect is kinda hokey.

M: I'm not sure public is the best place for this conversation. Morbo is still wearing prison orange. Milo kills the cops who shows up and even more amazing effects. He fortnite dances. MICHEAAAAAAL.

B: Hey Mikey....Mikey baby...honey.

M: The rest of this movie is just slow mo effects shots. I don't think this is supposed to be funny but it really is. I don't even know what's happening to Jesus Morbius right now. Oh he's fucking FLYING. Just...flying. In the subway. I....I don't....

He’s playin’ the base and I’m FLYIN!

B: Not sure about that one, chief.

M: Milo is gonna go after doctor girl. To make Morbo mad I guess.

B: She's so important to this movie and I'm so invested in her arc. She's reading about how Morbius is wanted for murder but he's on the bus with her. Milo is using his science for EVIL.

M: Now they're in a diner. The issue is, when the fake blood stops working, I morb out. It's kinda bad. Some counterfeiters try to give a woman fake money after she knows it's fake.

B: Morbo is gonna go exact justice. They just counterfeited! I'm not sure they deserve to get fucking murdered.

M: This is the important counterfeiter arc. Is this really happening? We need to slow down the movie RIGHT NOW for this shit.

B: They're trying to show that he's a tortured soul. He's an anti hero. You never know what he's gonna do!

M: He's gonna take their lab? It's for making fake money, not science.

B: I don't know how counterfeiting equipment is gonna help him do blood science.

M: He seriously just made a venom reference??

B: He's a loose cannon Morb on the edge.

M: How is there this much tech in a money lab. And now the Milo sexy dance sequence that is really happening. He's very pleased with his titties I guess. This is really happening. The spiderman dance sequence is now no longer the most hilariously awful dance sequence in a marvel movie.

B: They could have cut that and it would have made no difference. Why is that in here? Milo is creeping on women at the bar now.

M: Can vampires drink tequila? I'm so lost about what is even happening. They don't need to establish that he's a bad guy! We already did that! We know he's a vampire and he killed people! But now he's just out there....roaming around??

B: Scenes in a movie don't really need to like...go together or have any work up or connection, right? Just put em wherever! In whatever order! It doesn't matter. Now Dr. Lady and Milo BadGuy are at Michael's lab and Milo is like - I want to help Morbo, do you know where he is?

M: But she already knows he's a vampire so... I guess he's just gonna leave.

B: Her character is just so incredibly not important to this movie. M: We are 2/3rds of the way through. Now we gotta drag out the final confrontation for another half hour. The FBI doing some fine work here. Oh no Dr. Lady Woman got scratched and Morbius smells the good juice and he's trying not to morb out. I love the whole fucking ‘on red’ shit.

B: ‘On red’ sounds like a euphemism for getting your vampire period. They're having such deep conversation. I really feel the chemistry between these two. None of this would have happened if they cast Keanu Reeves. He also has nice titties. If you just need a dude with nice titties, there's lots of options.

M: Oh they're KISSING. But Milo is watching from 10 miles away because he can do that now. The FBI again doing really important work. They're probably the most interesting characters.

B: The CCTV seems to show a guy getting fucking eaten by a vampire. Because that's how that works and it's not grainy or anything.

M: Jared Harris is like oh no....vampires. Maybe he's gonna be like some sort of vampire mentor. Or he's just gonna die because Milo's gonna murder him. The movie has started dragging ass. Milo has daddy issues. Now there's a showdown with Jared Harris about liking Morbo more. And apparently he just knows Milo's a vampire and he's like - okay? Oh he dead. Milo is a terrible villian ffs.

B: His arc makes no sense.

M: Now more bullshit blood science because Morbo has to die a hero. But there's a big problem with your plan MORBO, because Milo is not dead.

B: He's gonna try to inject Milo first, I think.

M: Jared Harris isn't dead tho so he calls Morbo who of course runs to help him because he's dumb. You can't just walk into a hospital, Dr. Morbo. And he's dead.

B: OH NO HE'S DEAD. This character who had like two scenes in the entire movie. But Morbo has super good ears and he can hear Milo threatening his girlfriend and so he's gonna go out with full ugly vampire face on and echolocate himself some bitches.

No bitches? Try echolocation.

M: That's how echolocation works.

B: He's....soaring.

M: The flying shit fucking kills me, it's so funny. Dr. LadyWoman is dying.

B: Use her tasty blood to make you stronger. Everyone is dying in a ten minute timespan now. They could have cut half this movie out and replaced it with some shit that makes sense. He angry!

M: Can we please do the final showdown and end this?

B: I'm gonna have to take a massive shit in a few minutes so can we wrap this up?

M: Morbo is getting his ass kicked.

(Dib: He's gonna inject himself with the blood and make Milo drink him.)

M: Quit calling everything!

B: Wow this is a really well edited action sequence where I can definitely follow what's going on.

M: And not badly lit at all. Oh it's time for the MORBIUS SCREAM which apparently fucking summons bats???

B: Morbius sucks. He just got his ass handed to him.

M: Oh you've gotta be kidding me. Are the bats gonna like...resurrect him? Eat Milo?? What!??! This is inadvertently HILARIOUS. More slow mo. Morbo is fucking conducting the bats like it's a fucking orchestra. This is really happening. They're attacking Milo.

B: *sadly* Oh nooooo.

M: He injects Milo with the stuff.

B: Get morbed. Mikey...I thought we were bros, dude. All of our bro moments. Our broments.

M: Is this over yet? Milo's dead.

B: Fellas, is it gay to stab your homies goodnight?

M: The cops....again. Time to morb out. A comically large amount of bats and Morbius Neos the fuck out of there. But Dr. Girlfriend is gonna come back??

B: Did his bite morb her into a vampire? That's the end?? O....kay.....

M: In the after credit scene...Michael Keaton is here???? He just got like...portalled into a room.

B: What does he have to do with Morbius??? The multiverse thing???

M: I....don't know. I really like the bisexual lighting honestly but that's like...the only thing.

B: What...no Morbius rap song????

M: Closing thoughts?

B: This movie is a TRAINWRECK. It's kind of entertaining in it's badness. It's so insane. I don't know how much was the director or the writer or the editors but it feels like three different movies spliced together. Half of it feels like there's scenes that are missing and the other half feels like filler that should have been cut out. There's no screen time given to developing the characters, I don't even know the doctor's name. All I can say is it's just a disaster.

M: I think you put it perfectly with the first and second half bits. It's so incredibly paced, I can't even describe it. It's so insane. It's way too fast and then way too slow and then way too fast again and it makes NO SENSE at all. I was kinda entertained, I will admit. I think it's unintentionally hilarious, and honestly all the morbin' time memes are dead on. He just morbs and there's zero explanation for his random powers or why they show up and when, it's just completely random. The special effects are really...something. Matt Smith could not villain his way out of a wet paper bag.

B: It's Morbin.

(Dib: How am I supposed to go on with my life now, now that I've been morbed???)

M: Munch and Biscuits and sometimes Dib, Morbin' out.

[justaredheadf1fan]

Season 2022 Masterlist

Hello there!

Welcome to the Masterlist of the Formula 1 season 2022. Here you'll be able to find every single post I've made so far and the ones I'll be posting from now on during the 2022 season. Obviously, this wouldn't be my blog if I didn't use an F1 meme as a header, would it?

I hadn't really thought about doing this until now, 6 months after I started this blog, so I can confirm I'm a total disaster, but I can't fix how my brain works for now 😂

Without further ado, here it is:

Introduction

Abu Dhabi GP 2021

Mercedes-AMG Petronas statement

F1 journalists or how some reporters are so biased it sucks to watch sports

Finally, Formula 1 is back and so am I 🙃

Teeny weeny news or whatever you wanna call it

Will Formula 1 ever do something that matters to stop this?

I'm saying goodbye to the one person who "drove me out of F1" when I didn't see any further

The summer break starts and the Silly Season takes over

Season 2022 Masterlist:

Pre-Season 2022:

Finally, Formula 1 is back and so am I 🙃

Bahrain GP 2022

First Free Practice Friday of 2022

Bahrain FP3 and Quali sessions

First race of the 2022 season - Bahrain GP

Saudi Arabia GP 2022

2nd F1 weekend and the coming disaster

Race in Jeddah Corniche, the worst possible circuit

Australia GP 2022

The Australian GP is finally here and my vacation days are too

What the hell does Australian water have? It’s nuts this weekend

Australian GP or how to turn shit around with a few track changes

Emilia-Romagna GP 2022

Imola, land of the "What the fuck is going on here this weekend?"

The Emilia Romagna 2022 GP killing me softly

Miami GP 2022

First ever Miami GP starts

First party hard of the Miami weekend

Miami the dissappointment

Barcelona-Catalunya GP 2022

Barcelona GP 2022, first time watching live 🤩

Barcelona GP, better known as one of the best weekends I remember, ever

Monaco GP 2022

Monaco GP, chaos made Formula 1 circuit

The absolute heartbreak in Monaco

Azerbaijan GP 2022

And the boys are Bak-u! (don't kill me for this one)

Bak-ú at it again! (I can't stop)

And Bak-ú to the disappointment pit we go (yes, I'm stopping now)

Canada GP 2022

O Canada, we're back!

Uninteresting rainy day at the office? ⛈

O Canada, the big surprise

British GP 2022

Chaos ensues at Silverstone

Silverstone who?

Silverstone with some delay 😅

Austrian GP 2022

Shitty week and then Austria happened

The Return of the Sprint Race

What Silverstone taketh, Austria giveth

French GP 2022

French press afternoon and When We Were Young release

What seems to be the least entertaining GP so far (I hope I'm wrong)

I lost my interest somewhere in France until Charles Leclerc happened

The scream I could've never anticipated froze my blood

Hungarian GP 2022

And after yesterday's bomb, we go back to business "as usual" in Hungaroring

Hungaroring starting to step it up

Hungaroring giveth after Paul Ricard become a good thing for once

Belgian GP 2022

F1 is back in Spa and so are the big news

Spa goes on and on and I can't keep up this week

Dutch GP 2022

Zandvoort incoming

Good ol' Zandvoort giving me the boot

The nightmare is back

Italian GP 2022

Monza is finally back and I just don't make it on time

The Monza curse

Singapore GP 2022

Back to Marina Bay we go!

The rain and massive craziness hit Singapore

Singapore, I... have no words

Japanese GP 2022

We're back at Suzuka but it brings back a few nightmares

Suzuka, I expected more of you

The disappointment in Suzuka does not come from Suzuka, but the FIA as usual

United States GP 2022

Austin is making a comeback like no other

Busy day at COTA (or busy day for me watching everything?)

Austin you gorgeous surprise, what a weekend!

Mexican GP 2022

Spooky Mexican season is upon us 💀

Día de los Muertos spirit working its magic

What happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico

Brasilian GP 2022

Finally back at the place where Magic happens

The Sprint Race I didn't know I would love so much

I'm actually speechless after this

Abu Dhabi GP 2022

The end is nigh...

It's almost upon us...

The Final Lap

P.D: I'm open to suggestions/ideas of how to improve this, but for now this is the best I could come up with 🤓

[flapperwitch]

Hey, hope youre doing good. Ive followed you for a bit and i know youve spoken before about living with endo and chronic pain. For the past 6 months ive been dealing with a shit ton of pain, cramping and i just had a cramp tonight that was super scary. Got super sweaty, shaking and such. Theyre still trying to diagnose me but my gyno doctor thinks its endo. Just wondering if youd feel comfortable sharing your story and such, 100% understand if you would rather not and i hope this isnt an invasive ask. Im just feeling very isolated and alienated with this pain. Thanks for taking the time to read this and i hope youre doing well!

Hi! This is not intrusive at all, and I'm sorry for not answering this sooner. Life is very weird.

I'm so sorry that you feel isolated but I completely understand why you do. You're in bed, in pain or asleep, so often. No one can see the agony your body is feeling. More than anything I want you to know that you're not overreacting. You're not crazy, you're not weak. I've passed out from pain before. It's no joke. The short version of my story is that like most others, it took years for me to get a diagnosis. And I wasn't hiding anything. Doctors thought my fatigue and pain was being exaggerated by my depression, but in reality I was depressed because I was so sore and tired and couldn't figure out why. Therapy and meds weren't doing anything. One time a nurse practioner told me that even though I tested negative for a UTI and even though I didn't have any of the symptoms, that had to be what my problem was. She gave me antibiotics and sent me home. Another time I was telling my then OBGYN that I was always tired and in so much pain and asked if there was anything else we could do and he smiled and said "Nope!" Mother fucker smiled at me and my pain. It wasn't until I sat for hours in an emergency room (because the hospital near me wouldn't let me admit myself or see a doctor right away) that my dad called me and convinced me to go home, told me he believed me, and that we'd figure it out together. I then went to see a colleague of my OBGYN and right away she knew that something was wrong. She did go on to say she thought I had endo, and we set up surgery. But the way she presented it, endometriosis was a blip, a pain that could be fixed with surgery, and then cured. It wasn't until after and I continued to do my own research that I learned it was a lifetime diagnosis.

Invisible illnesses suck. No one can see just how shitty you feel. And when you feel shitty and tired, you can't see people as much, so you end up spending so much of your time alone in bed with your heating pad and pain meds. Luckily se live in the age of the internet. Find online communities. I personally am in two endometriosis groups on Facebook, one is support, one is all jokes and memes. It's great when you can joke with people experiencing the exact same thing. Also make more plans virtual. I love doing virtual movie nights with friends, and you can screenshare through hyperbeam or discord. Also, treat yo self. Some days when I feel my internal organs being glued together by this dumb disease, I make myself toast with cookie butter and a banana and pour myself a cup of milk, and just that simple meal makes me feel better for a bit.

Always feel free to come ask me about endo and chronic pain. Chronic illness survivors gotta look out for each other 💜 You got this

[speakingagain]

I have two jobs.

I don't even want to work one job.

I want to stay home, be a recluse, and work on random hobbies and sleep and forget I exist and everything just cease to exist around me and-oh I'm depressed.

Neat.

I wish I had an off button. Or a remote to pause. I took an extra shift tonight, despite working overtime at my full time job and 40 hours the last week at my part time. I also haven't slept more than a couple hours the last three days. I shouldn't be surprised I'm feeling more depressed right now. I mean, it's 4 am, and I have nothing to do while at work for another hour. So what else can I do except think?

And we all know thinking is a dangerous game. Leads to dark parts of my mind that I'd rather stay hidden.

And most of the time it stays hidden, and I can ignore it for the most part. But I also generally get a semi regular amount of sleep. So.

I gotta find some coffee. Maybe a snack. But I also don't want to eat. I just want to go to bed, but that's not going to be possible until after 6 pm tonight. I have a shift at 8 am.

And my mother kind of pissed me off. She constantly nags me about not having enough money, or not doing enough. And then when I'm working overtime and two jobs, she tells me to quit working so much. I made a joke saying I hope they let me go home early for my 3rd shift. She got pissed and yelled at me to stop, saying I "made my bed and I need to lay in it." I know that mom. But we all dream for the day our manager asks us if we want to go home early.

It's impossible to win with her sometimes. Granted, I haven't cleaned the kitchen like she asked. And it's only getting worse. And she has every right to be irritated with me. But my mom is so passive aggressive and impossible to please.

I don't want to deal with her anymore.

I want to live on my own.

I want to live.

But I also want to cease to exist. Not like, "grippy sock time." But I just want to stop being. I want to pause. I want to disengage with the world around me. Fuck I want out of this shit.

I want out of my brain.

I did a therapy assignment yesterday. My therapist is confused about my time line of trauma. I think it's funny when she tries to hide her genuine surprise about all the trauma I've been through. Anyways, she asked me to make a visual timeline of my life.

I made a PowerPoint. The portions including my childhood began to become a little overwhelming. So I added memes to cope. Lots of frog memes. I guess some things never change.

I may need to redo a good portion of it. I left out lots of details, and good things that happened....I can only really think of like two good things though?

I have another session this weekend. I've been trying to find things to bring up for my next sessions like throughout the week. This week, I've got nothing.

She gave me one task, aside from the time line thing. I told her I have a bad habit of holding onto tangible items and struggle with throwing things away and told her about my ex's box of shit he gave me.

She asked about how I feel about thinking about throwing his things away. It made me want to panic, so she asked me to go through the box to see what I might consider getting rid of.

I haven't. Haven't even looked at the box. I don't want to. And it's Thursday. My session is Sunday. I work every day in between, but not Sunday. But Mom wants to go to the mountains Sunday.

I could use a day in the mountains. To breathe.

But fuck me, if I'm not exhausted and just hoping my body will stall like a shitty car. Leave me on the side of the road till I can afford a tow. Sell me on eBay if you can't fix me.

This got deeper than I meant it. Anyways, I don't want to touch the box. I know I should. I know it will do me a world of good in the long run. And she didn't even ask me to throw anything away. Just to consider finding an item that I'd be okay throwing away.

This shouldn't be so hard. This shouldn't give me this much anxiety. This shouldn't be a problem. This shouldn't be MY problem.

He cheated. He abused. He stole. He financially ruined me. He left me in the dust. Why is this my problem?

He should be the one hurting. He should be the one with the anxiety, holding onto my gifts, and perfume and pictures and notes. He should be the one with the problem. He should be missing me.

Why isn't he missing me?

I think I found my session topic.

[succliberation]

Hey! Just kind of realized that both of my coping mechanisms are getting angry (either getting angry at shitty tumblr posts or getting angry at randos in video games). I'm not in the mood to break my video game addiction so I'm going to be off of this side of tumblr for a little bit. It might a week, it might be a month, idk yet. I even might fix my gamer rage problem and be back in a couple days lol.

I'm still going to be working on YouTube videos, but I had already planned for my next video to be a comic book review, and depending on how long that takes/when some other comic books come out, the next video after that might be about comic books too. Making videos in general actually feels productive. While tumblr is fun for getting ideas for new videos, it's not helping me create them.

If we're mutuals I'll talk with you on Discord, just DM me and I'll give you my tag. I'll also be on tumblr still to keep up with the current news and memes, but it'll be on my second account that has no ties with this one and has a bunch of politics and LGBT tags blocked.

A bunch of stuff has happened irl in a short amount of time for me, too, so I'm attempting to process this in a healthy way lmao. Some of it's bad, some of it's good, it's just a fucking lot. I am hoping to continue streaming on the weekends, but we'll kinda see what happens.

Anyway, I'll be back in a bit. You can send me anons/asks/messages, and I'll be sure to get around to them when I'm back :3 👋 💙

[capseycartwright]

 “ they don’t deserve you. and i’m not— i’m not tryna be that asshole that says i do. but sure as hell would never hurt you like that. ”

Eddie really, really hated it when Buck was upset. It’s not that he judged Buck, for how open he was with his emotions - no, Eddie had always admired that. Eddie hated it because he never had any idea of how he could help, really help. Fixing Christopher’s tears was easy, mostly - usually a cuddle, a kiss on the forehead, and the promise of ice-cream, or McDonalds, fixed the worst of his nine year old son’s tears.

Eddie’s not convinced a Happy Meal and an extra chapter of his book before bed was going to fix the very forlorn looking Buck who was sitting, slumped on Eddie’s couch, his eyes red-rimmed and puffy from crying.

“What’s wrong with me, Eddie?” Buck asked, sounding completely pitiful. Would one of Christopher’s teddy bears help, Eddie had to wonder?

“Buck…” Eddie trailed off, voice soft. How could he even begin to explain to Buck that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him - that it was everyone else, who was wrong, to not see how good and funny and kind and wonderful Buck was.

“I’m serious, Eddie,” Buck shook his head, twisting on the couch. “Abby - Ali. And now Taylor. Why - why doesn’t anyone want to stay with me? Am I really that - that annoying, and needy?”

No. No.

They were all wrong for you, Buck - is what Eddie wanted to say. He hadn’t known Abby, but he knew enough to know that it was never going to work, with her and Buck - they had been in such different places in their life, and Abby wasn’t going to be the one to give Buck the life he wanted. She went about ending it, in a spectacularly shitty way - but no matter what, Eddie was pretty convinced it was always destined to end.

Ali had been a particularly hurtful one. Being with a first responder, Eddie knew it wasn’t signing up for an easy life - but what Ali had never fully understood was that being a firefighter, it was so much more than a job, it was a vocation, a calling. Buck was never going to be able to walk away from it - and so Ali had walked away first. She had missed out, Eddie thought - missed out on seeing the best guy Eddie knew beat the odds to come back to the job he loved with a burning passion and desire anyone in the world would be jealous of.

Taylor was -

Eddie had complicated feelings about Taylor. He’d come to like her a lot more, in the eight months her and Buck were together. His own relationship with Ana had ended a few weeks after the shooting, and so Eddie had been a regular third-wheel around Buck and Taylor. She’d been good for him, in a lot of ways - brash and bossy and confident and utterly sure of her decision to date Buck for about seven months and twenty-eight or so days - and when Buck had been thinking about a joint-lease, Taylor had been thinking about how to break up with him.

Irrationally, Eddie wanted to be unapologetically angry with her - but she’d walked away before Buck had put his entire heart and soul into their relationship and Eddie was grateful, for that kindness at least. Taylor didn’t want kids - and Buck wanted a house full of them, and so there had been nowhere for their relationship to go.

And so for the third time in the years Eddie had known him, Buck was sitting on his couch, heartbroken, and Eddie didn’t know what to do. Except - except, well, he needed to just say it, didn’t he? He needed to say it and he needed to admit to Buck the truth Eddie had been hiding since the bullet had ripped through his shoulder and Eddie’s life had flashed before his eyes and he’d realised exactly how he wanted it to look, and who he wanted to share it with.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Buck,” Eddie said firmly. “They - they don’t deserve you,” he paused, his breath catching in his throat. “And I’m not tryna be that asshole that says i do, when you’re sitting here, on my couch, completely fucking heartbroken, because that’s just - that’s just bad timing,” he managed to get out in a rush, Buck looking at him, utterly baffled. “But I sure as hell wouldn’t hurt you like that, Buck.”

Buck’s eyes were almost comically wide. “Eddie, are you - are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Eddie swallowed his nerves. It was now, or never, apparently. “I’m saying that I think you’re probably the best person I’ve ever met. You make me laugh, even when I’m feeling stupidly grumpy, and I trust you, with everything that’s important to me,” he paused. “And we want the same things out of life,” he continued. “A - a house, and a family, and more kids than either of us know how to handle, and some pets, probably, and even after all that, I’d still understand why you wake up every single day and want to run into burning buildings, because I know you, Buck. That’s what I’m saying. I know you, and - if you gave me the chance, I’d never leave you.”

Buck was crying again, but happy tears, this time. “Eddie,” he said softly. “Did you just confess your love for me without saying the word love?” he teased, his smile wet, but happy, Eddie thinks - definitely happier than it had been a few minutes ago.

Eddie couldn’t hide the bashful smile that appeared on his face. “I’m saving that,” he admitted. “For when you’re ready to hear it.”

send me a shippy meme

[monochromemedic]

I had been stuck in the Dark World for who knows how long. The days didn’t seem to matter down here. No sun, no moon, just the vibrant green grid that coated the sky that would twitch and surge with occasional frequency.  When I first got here, I fought hard to get back to the surface, to fight for any sense of normalcy, for home but after a while the dream began to fade. The options began to run dry when compared to the dangers that surrounded me. And so I settled. I survived. I searched for food, begged for shelter from kind Darkners. I did what I had to to live. The Queen was not an option. Whispers from Darkners told me how I was just what she was looking for, that would help her expand her reign to the Light World. As much as that would probably help me, I didn’t want to ruin the lives of others for the chance to see my family, as much as I missed them with every passing minute. The sound of bustling cars and the blinding lights of neon signs stung my senses, my palms pressing into my eyes to drown out what I could. Damn it this place never slept did it? There was always something, some sort of noise. Whatever bags I had under my eyes were probably made cartoonishly drastic with the lack of pure rest I was getting. ‘Supose it was better then being dead... My body felt heavy, and I knew I’d have to find a place to rest or I’d fall asleep mid crossing of a road and get run over by one of those goofy cars I’d seen. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad... I recalled the time one of the car’s rear bumped into a fire hydrant (or at least I thought it was) and made a squeaking sound. The darkness of a certain alley called to me, the silence a sweet lullaby to the roaring around me. Was it dangerous? Oh yeah. Was it stupid? No shit. Was I going to do it? The shadows the engulfed me were perfect and if it wasn’t for the underlying stench of garbage it’d probably be ideal. Still beggars couldn’t be choosers and if tonight was good enough I would have to consider having this as my permanent sleeping spot. My back slid against the cool wall across from the dumpster, eyes half lidded as they read the advertisements littering above. Why the hell did the Queen have ads anyway, if she wanted she could monopolize any products she wanted... Despite the quiet I couldn’t shake the feeling that creeped down my spine. The presence of something other then myself around me. I tried to close my eyes, I was in the city after all. It’d be concerning if I didn’t feel like people were one second from crawling up my ass. Though I had to admit I didn’t expect to actually feel something begin to touch me. My eyes snapped open, elbow prodding into a blurry shape that yelped and tumbled backward, it’s grasp my on shoulder tearing a hole in my already worn shirt in the struggle. “Hey! What the hell?!” I barked, standing over the perpetrator. My shoulders slumped when I saw what looked to be a doll staring up at me with wide eyes, an over exaggerated smile permanently spread across it’s face. The creature’s jaw opened wider with a clack, it’s small body shooting upwards to stand on it’s small pointed feet. “WOAH WOAH WOAHAH- [Live worms]!”   The darkner’s voice was deafeningly loud, a shrill tone that cut the air like newly sharpened blades. “ I THOUGHT YOU WERE [Roadkill]. NICE TO KNOW I WON’T BE [Sleeping with the fishes] T0NIGHT!!” Well he had a certain way of speaking that was obvious. What the hell was going on with him, he talked like he was constantly being cut of random clips of other people speaking. He talked like a youtube poop or any other shitpost that would randomly shove memes into them for a quick laugh. “You thought I was dead? I was just... I was... uh.” I looked around me, eyeing the dirt and debris. “I was... going to sleep... here.”  Dammit, telling people I had to sleep in such ratty places were always a blow to the ego but I suppose it was better then saying ‘Oh I was just sitting down here to die’ The puppet shook his head and waltzed over to the dumpster, his small hand smacking the side with a sense of pride. “ [Finders keepers, losers weepers] HUMAN, YOU PICKED A GOOD SPOT. TOO BAD [so sadd] I GOT HERE FIRST. THOUGH FOR A DEAL I SUPPOSE I COULD [Share the love~]” “Got here first... what are you talking about?” The Darkner let out a laugh, distorted echoes filling the air as he leapt inside, a solitary hand popping out to beg me to come closer. This was a terrible idea, but despite my best judgement I followed, and witnessed what I could only describe to be a makeshift bed inside.  The puppet laid on top of musty mats and raggedy rugs, a single stained pillow resting just beneath his head. My god was he living in here? The creature continued his laugh, lurching only a few inches away from my face. “ [Sweet deal] ISN’T IT? J3ALOUS, [baby]?”  I shirked back, cheeks reddening at the tone of his last word. I was most defiantly not jealous, in fact I was filled with remorse, something his pride did not help with. “It’s... uh something. I guess this means I’ll have to find another alleyway um, sorry for bothering you-” “SPAMTON.” “What?” His hand shot out towards my chest, fingers wiggling for a handshake. “SP-SPA MTON G SPAMTON, [Number 1 rated salesmen 1997]” He announced, an extra flair of bravado laced his titled. His hand was surprisingly warm for what it was made of but nothing that would be described as body temperature.  “Jenna. Also 1997.” “WHAT A YEAR. LISTEN LIGHT nER, I AM DEALSMAN [yes/no?]” “Um... y-yes? I don’t-” “THEN LET ME MAKE A DEAL YEAH? FOR ONLY [many] KROMER, YOU MAY STAY IN MY [Privately owned] ALLEY. IT’S A REAL [steal] YOU’RE ROBBING ME [deaf] HERE!” My brows furrowed as I searched his face for any context clues for what the hell he was trying to say. Kromer? What the fuck was ‘kromer’? The only thing I knew of currency down here was dark dollars not kromer... even if he did ask for dark dollars he didn’t name a price, he just said many. And the amount of dark dollars I had was zero. “Uh I don’t have kromer. I don’t even have dark dollars I’m kinda broke Spamton, in case you couldn’t tell from uh...” I trailed off realizing saying that sleeping in an alley wasn’t a very smart thing to say to someone who slept in an alley.  He seemed surprised by my words, beginning to tug on my coat, flipping my pockets to see if I was really lying. I had to push his mitts off me a couple of times, to which he eventually got the idea the way his hands began to rub at his extended jaw. “NO KROMER... WHAT CAN YOU DO?” “What do you mean?” He seemed to sense my change in tone, his grin beginning to wobble nervously “[Whoopsie daisy!] LET ME START AGAIN. DO YOU HAVE A [trade]? A [skill] TO [Exchange for goods and services]?” he croaked. I eyed the ground, rubbing the back of my neck. What the hell was I good at again? “I mean, I can draw, I suppose...” “ARTIST? WOW OWOW!” Spamton’s face lit up before digging in the dumpster, pulling out a few napkins and a ball point pen and shoving them into my hands. “WHAT A [trade] TELL YOU WHAT. YOU DRAW A [one-of-a-kind masterpiece] AND YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT!” “You’ll let me stay... if I draw something for you on this napkin. Am I getting that right?” The doll nodded feverishly, basically hovering over my shoulder as I played with the pen. This was certainly the weirdest way to pay someone that I could imagine... well no but one that was in the realm of reality. I had to ask Spamton to give me some space a few time, the feeling of his breath on  my neck making me more then nervous as I drew. God he was like those kids in school that would ask for drawings but ten times worse with the amount of personal space he’d give you. Besides I needed something to draw and with nothing on the mind why not draw the most interesting thing in front of me. I held the finished doodle out to Spamton only to have it snatched out of my fingers so fast I swore we could have started a fire. “WOAH...” The puppet sank inside of the dumpster, his face softening  as for once in what seemed like forever the alley way grew silent. “THIS IS... ME?” “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t know what to draw, you kind of put me on the spot. Besides everyone likes drawings of themselves right?” I shrugged, being pulled away from my thoughts by an overdramatic sniffle. Was he... crying? Not quite, just damn well close. Spamton’s shoulders quaked as a warm smile returned to his cheeks, slipping the napkin into his pocket with glee. “SO GOOD... THANK YOU.” “It’s really nothing, honestly that was a pretty shitty drawing.” “WHAT? YOU’RE [&#!^]ING ME! THAT WAS [BIG SHOT]” He was screaming again, hands gesturing wildly about. “It wasn’t but thank you. I wish I was better to be honest. I’m not very happy with my art, not at all.” I turned away from his gaze, unsure of why I was overcome by a choking sensation building my throat.  Why the hell was I telling this stranger this sort of stuff anyway? I mean I could hazard a guess it was the fact that this was the longest conversation I had had with anyone since I had gotten down here but with how things were it could be some magic power the doll possessed to tell him my deepest darkest secrets. “YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS [Big?]” “No.” “WHY NOT?” “I don’t know. I just... I think it doesn’t look the way I want it to. Doesn’t look good to me, and I don’t know how to fix it. Which I guess is a little funny considering how long I’ve been drawing. Just keep... drawing and drawing and never improving, least not how I’d like. It’s just garbage to me.” Spamton’s face seemed to fall, his glasses fading to a dark inky black.  “YOU FEEL? NO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO? YOUR [passion]?”  “Yeah.” A laugh ripped from his chest, his head lolling back with each chuckle. I felt my soul began to crack, a shame flooding my body with how hard he seemed to laugh. Did he find this funny? Humorous?  I felt tears prick my eyes as I snapped my head back to glare at him, his head glitching back to stare back at me. “YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME, JENNA. A [slime] A REAL [slime]!” With a quick motion the puppet jumped to the ground, his hand resting against my arm as he spoke.  “YOU’RE A REAL [BIG SHOT] YOU KNOW THAT? STAY AS LONG AS YOUR [Greasy little heart] DESIRES!” Well... that was unexpected. He’d really let me stay here as long as I want cause I was pathetic? Or did he just feel sorry for me? What was going on? And why was he calling me a slime... or us a slime?  “Oh... uh thanks? I didn’t think I was being  much of a big shot whatever that is but I apricate it. Really.” His head clacked with every little nod, leading me to a pile of cardboard boxes and patting them with the grace of a car salesman. “BEST [Seat in the house] ALL FOR YOU. [Night night forever]!” Spamton beamed, awkwardly swaying side to side before stumbling back to the dumpster a few inches away and crawling inside of it, much like a wild animal. I couldn’t help but laugh a little. This guy was weird. Kinda creepy but also kind of funny. I honestly couldn’t pinpoint a feeling on him but at least he didn’t want to hurt me just make weird ass deals and make me ‘big’. Did that mean famous? Was this guy so into my art he wanted to be some sort of manager? I rubbed my eyes and let out a yawn, the excitement of the day finally beginning to fade. God I forgot how tired I was, that little guy made me feel like I was gonna go into fight or flight.  “Hey Spamton?” “YES?” his voice echoed from inside the metal container. “...Thank you.”

[fruitcoops]

So this is sort of similar to the people writing fanfic about the lions but can you imagine the YouTube edits? Like the videos that are just "Cap having heart eyes for Loops for 10 minutes straight" or "Loops lovingly dragging Caps name through the mud for 3 minutes" like those kinds of things and I can just imagine them doing reaction videos and it just being funny and the world just loving coops

Okay so this wasn't a specific fic request but I got carried away with imagining videos and....here you go. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Grace and Anna are mine! Bonus points to anyone who remembers the easter egg in this one!

Message From: Gracie

ANNA HOLY SHIT

Anna frowned at her phone screen, squinting to read around the spiderweb crack decorating the upper corner. She had tried to convince herself that it was cool, goth, edgy, but in the end she had to admit that it was just irritating. In a tragic turn of events, packing tape couldn’t fix everything.

Message To: Gracie

Wtf did I do

Two weeks of radio silence, then unexplained accusations. Anna shook her head as the grey bubble disappeared for a third time and turned back to her computer. Grace may have been her favorite cousin—and favorite person, if she was being honest—but very few things came between Anna and video editing. Especially editing for a Lions meme video. She had a whole 2,341 followers to attend to, after all.

Message From: Gracie

DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING INTERVIEW???

Message To: Gracie

Wow thank you so helpful

Message From: Gracie

Skip to 2:45 bestie

A link popped up just as Anna cut a segment from the sleep study video, where Loops’ heart eyes were in full effect. It was a rare, precious find for fan editors like herself.

“Come on,” she groaned. Maybe introducing Grace to the deepest parts of her hockey obsession was a mistake. But, really, what else was she supposed to do when she learned her cousin, who didn’t even live in Gryffindor, got to meet her favorite players just by chilling in a café? What kind of cosmic joke was that?

She narrowed her eyes at the embed of the link, then stifled a shriek. Impossible. How had she missed an upload?

As if on cue, her computer pinged with a new notification from the Lion Pride channel. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered, scrambling to save her half-done video and pressing play.

The interviewer asked basic questions, ones she had heard the answers to a million times while curating her content. It always felt funny to hear people refer to Cap as ‘Sirius’—it was too official, too formal. She had spent countless hours on the compilations of his softer moments, and they were her most popular videos. Cap Having Heart Eyes for Loops for 10 Minutes Gay. Cap Being an Actual Puppy for Six and a Half Minutes. Everyone Wanting Cap Cuddles for Fifteen Minutes. Every Time Cap Smiles When Someone Mentions His Godson. The list was endless. She loved it.

She did a silent fist pump when she saw the interviewer had snagged both Cap and Loops; that would give her a whole new stream of workable content. If she was lucky, she could expand on her series of Loops Lovingly Roasting His Friends, part…fuck it, who was even counting anymore?

Anna was so caught up in her excitement that she nearly forgot about Grace’s suggestion. I’ve never skipped through a video on the first watch before, she thought hesitantly. But maybe just this once…

Her cursor hovered over the 2:45mark. She closed her eyes, and clicked it.

“—have you been adjusting to life as a celebrity?” the interviewer asked. Anna nearly rolled her eyes when Loops laughed. That question had been used far too often to be interesting anymore.

“It’s had its ups and downs,” Loops said with a smile. “Mostly, though, the fans have been incredible and just knocked my socks off with their support.”

“Really? What’s your favorite part of the Lions fanbase?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Their creativity, for sure. There was a video a while back where we reacted to some of the comments people left, and this person on Twitter made an absolutely beautiful collage of photos.”

“I have it saved to my phone,” Sirius added.

One more clip for the simp video. Anna made a note on the small corner space of her European History notes. The degree can wait for ten more minutes.

“Do you have a favorite creator?”

The interviewer was clearly teasing, but Loops’ smile was genuine. “I don’t know about a favorite, but there’s this person on YouTube who makes a shit ton of videos and they’re hysterical. I saw one the other day about—god, what was it again?”

“Every time I smile when people mention Harry,” Sirius answered around a laugh. “Can you blame me?”

Anna didn’t hear the next question. A ringing noise filled her ears as she sat, frozen, on her shitty dorm mattress and listened to her literal heroes talk about her dorky little channel. “Holy fuck,” she blurted after a moment of silence. “Holy fuck.”

“—subscribed?” The man’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“Of course I am!” Loops said. “You think I’m passing up a chance to watch a compilation of my friends making stupid decisions for the entire internet to see?”

A noise that would have been a shriek if Anna had any breath left in her body escaped her lungs; she clamped a hand over her mouth and shakily exited from the video before going to her YouTube account. 800 new notifications. 700 new followers in the last quarter hour. She was pretty sure she blacked out for a second from sheer shock and joy.

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

You’re famous!

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

I bet he knows your stuff better than he remembers me tbh

“They know me,” she whispered, staring at her computer. The unfinished video showed a perfect frame of Loops’ soft smile as he watched Cap get his toothbrush stuck in his pajama shirt. Somehow, the thought was both exhilarating and horrifying. What if they thought she was a creep? She wasn’t, not really, just a bored college student with not enough free time for a job but too much to keep herself busy with schoolwork. Her 2,341—no, 3,052—followers were just other hockey nerds looking for time to kill.

And the subject of those videos was one of her subscribers.

Anna slipped her headphones back on and began to edit like it was her last day on earth. Her fingers flew across the keyboard on muscle memory while her brain fizzed. Perfect, she thought. It has to be perfect.

In four hours, it was done. She sat back, panting, then hunched over again and began tapping out a title card.

Hello. Idk if anyone saw the new Lion Pride video today (linked below if anyone wants to see why I’m dying right now) but apparently Remus Lupin is subscribed to this channel and has been for a while.

Hi Loops. I’m Anna. You met my cousin once and she said she liked your sweater.

Now that that’s out of the way, please enjoy the next five minutes of our new rookie being the sappiest mf in existence (except for his fiancé). Mr. Lupin, please tell Hattie I say hello.

She pressed upload, peeled her headphones off, and collapsed backward on her bed.

Message To: Gracie

If I die here, tell the world I did it doing what I loved

Message From: Gracie

Will do

OH FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE SWEATER I SOUND LIKE A CREEP

Anna covered her itchy eyes with her forearm and settled in for a long, long nap. Her brain still needed to repair a few circuits.

[daily911]

Hmm what fanfic about the phone charger scene?? I need to know what this is. I love staying out of fandom drama but I love watching it happen from the sidelines 😩

Lol and hard same. (Also responding to @fanfics-fix here.)

First, I'm not going to link to anything because although it could be fun, I don't think it would be responsible given my Platform.

I'm not sure how into the fandom you are but it has a TON of Buck stans and there is a certain subset of those stans who act like Buck has Never Done Anything Wrong in his entire life AND has to suffer because the 118 is full of meanies (the focus of their ire shifts from Chim, to Bobby (esp. during the lawsuit era), to Eddie, to Maddie etc.)

Fast forward to yesterday, when I am scrolling through AO3 and I find a work about the charger scene.

So in this fic, that full disclosure I skimmed and did not read, Chim is being an abusive workplace bully to Buck and RAVI goes and confronts Chim about it and then Chim grovels for forgiveness.

The thing that got me the most was that the fic has Ravi mention something along the lines of "he's so disappointed that Chim who is known for advocating a bully free work environment would treat Buck that way" alluding to Chim's time under Captain Gerard, the racist/sexist/homophobic etc. bully who used his title and power to shit on Chim and Hen when they both joined the profession.

I really don't have words for how fucking gross it is: to compare the charger scene to anything that Chim and Hen went through with Gerrard, to use that experience to shit on Chim and uplift their white fav, to use another character of color (that Buck is actually kind of shitty to, esp. in that episode) as a mouthpiece for that horseshit.

And the other disheartening thing is that it had 100+ kudos when I saw it which...I'd block everyone who gave it a kudos. It's just a reminder that

[meme of Freckle from The Gay And Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo where part of the original quote "Sometimes things that are expensive are worse" has been crossed out and replaced with new text."

Freckle has one arm on the wall and is looking back as they say, "Sometimes...things that are in fanfiction....are worse."]

[sleepysnk]

not a very long chapter today, but next chapter will be VERY IMPORTANT. keep watch for it! <3

Team Player: Chapter Five

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.9k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Eren awoke to the aching of his ankle. His green eyes fluttered open as he reached for his phone on his nightstand, the screen lighting up and showing the time that said 8:55 A.M.  It felt too early to be awake, but his ankle was bothering him too much. 

He arose from his bed and looked over at Armin's bed. He was already gone and out to class. Eren stood up and winced as his ankle throbbed in pain. 

Unfortunately for him, he was now injured way worse than he was before. His muscle was now more irritated and the nurse told him that he needed to skip the next game or two to make sure it fully healed. Eren was irritated with that. He wanted to get back on the field as quickly as he could, but he knew damn well Coach Smith wouldn't let him. Judging on how pissed off he looked on Saturday, Eren was certain there was no way he could smoothly talk to him. 

Eren grabbed the side of his bed, reaching for the small bottle of pills that was prescribed for the pain. He had to take more now since he wasn't doing that well. The nurse gave him so many instructions on how to take care of his ankle, it all bombarded him at once. 

Grabbing the plastic water bottle, Eren put the meds in his mouth and swallowed, feeling the pills go down his throat. 

He quickly changed into a sweater and black sweatpants, making sure to wear the patch the nurse gave him. He threw on slides and grabbed his backpack, exiting his dorm to the main campus. 

As he entered the main doors, he felt eyes suddenly boring holes into his head. Eren hung his head low as he stared at his phone, trying to get some attention off of him. Many people were pissed at what happened during the game, people clowned him on Twitter, giving him nicknames or posting meme videos to his fail. It was honestly kind of embarrassing for him. Many sports analysts talked about it, and Eren knew that wasn't good. 

Eren's eyes averted upward as he saw Jean walking with Marco. 

"Hey Jean," Eren said and approached him. 

Jean stood there and clenched his jaw. "What do you want dude? You here to tell me how shitty of a lineman I am?" he asked and crossed his arms. "Look dude.. no offense but stay out of my way." he added and pushed past Eren. 

Eren stood there watching Jean walk off. He's never seen him act that way before, Jean usually kept his words to himself sometimes, but it kind of made Eren feel shitty. 

"You suck!" a random student yelled and looked at Eren. "Selfish as fuck.." he added and kept walking. 

Eren didn't even do anything. He just walked away from the guy near him. His mind was clouded with so many thoughts, he really was the laughing stock of Trost. Everyone just stared at him as he walked in the hall to his class, what was he going to do? He couldn't exactly clear his name or whatever, the footage was all online. 

He silently prayed things would go well at practice. 

-

The day seemed to pass by slowly for Eren. 

He barely did anything in most of his classes and he didn't bother to pay attention. 

What bothered him the most was that most of his teammates avoided him, whenever Eren tried to say hello they all ignored him, or they told him to go away. The team’s loss was not his intention, he wanted to show everyone his talent out on the field as well as impressing the scout that was there and to make others proud.  

Going on social media was the worst. People made memes about his fail, and many people were disappointed in what happened. They looked like idiots during that game, the Titans were their rivals too, which also meant that the school itself looked absolutely shitty. 

Eren could care less what was happening in his physics class, the teacher just blabbed on and on about velocity and other crap. None of it seemed to interest Eren as he was just too lost in his thoughts about the game. 

"You're all dismissed!" the professor called and looked around the room. 

Eren stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder, he walked slowly down the hall as his ankle was bothering him still. What was he going to do? 

The day had already ended and Eren decided to make his way to practice, he knew he couldn't exactly play or catch any balls, but maybe he could just observe. 

He opened the door to the locker room and saw many of his teammates staring or exchanging looks with one another, he felt awkward walking in there. This hasn't exactly happened to him before either. 

"What are you doing here?" Reiner asked, crossing his arms. "You're hurt. Coach doesn't want you here," he added. 

Eren looked at the blonde who seemed to be in a bad mood. "I-I just… wanted to observe," he replied and rubbed the back of his neck. 

"Eren." his head turned to see Coach Smith standing there with his arms crossed. "Come into my office… we need to have a chat," he said and waved him over. 

Eren gulped and made his way into the office, his pulse began to race rapidly. He knew it probably wasn't good. 

"Have a seat," Coach Smith said and plopped down at his desk. 

Eren put his backpack down on the ground and looked at his Coach, his icy hues burning holes into his head. 

"U-Um… what do you want to speak about?" Eren asked, giving a weak smile. 

Coach Smith leaned back and sighed. "It's about what happened on Saturday-" 

"I'm sorry. That was totally my fault, I thought Jean was going to get-" he was cut off. 

"I didn't finish Eren," he said sternly and crossed his arms. "Eren what happened on Saturday was absolutely unacceptable and unsportsmanlike. Jean is your teammate! I gave Reiner that call to throw to him, not you. Your behavior lately has been very inappropriate.”

Eren looked down and bit his lip. "B-But! I thought he was going to get tackled! If I-"

"Enough. There is no excuse for your actions Eren, not only that, but you were hurt too. I told you three times that if you were hurt, to step off the field. That's not okay at all Eren. Look at you now! Your ankle is now even worse than before. Your actions are extremely selfish," he stated. 

Eren fell silent as his words played into his head. 

"Until you can play like a team player, leave." Coach Smith said. 

Eren looked up with wide eyes. "What? What do you mean leave?!" he asked with concern in his voice. 

"Until you can get your act together, you're benched and off the team. There's not buts anymore Eren, I've let your behavior slide numerous times. Your own teammates have come to me about this as well, so until you can gain some proper teamwork skills you're benched," he replied. "Don't bother coming to practice or showing up to games or I will suspend you," he added. 

Eren leaned back in his chair. "You can't do this coach please! I need this season!" he pleaded and looked at him with pleading eyes. 

Coach Smith stood up. "Nobody wants a player who can't think for anyone else, especially not the Chiefs," he said. "Now please… leave. Don't show up for the rest of the week," he added and went towards the door. 

Eren grabbed his backpack and exited the office, many eyes watched as he exited the locker room. Frustration, anger, and even sadness rushed through him all at once. How could his own Coach do that to him!? Coach Smith has believed in Eren from the day he entered Trost. Why the sudden change? 

He went outside and breathed in the cool air, the leaves fell from the trees as it was now fall. The leaves crunched under his feet as he walked back to his residence hall, he just wanted to lay in bed and sleep the rest of the day. 

He eventually got back and opened the door, Armin sat on the opposite side of the room with his laptop open. 

"Eren? You're back early. Short practice today?" he asked and nodded. 

Eren threw his backpack onto the floor which made a loud thump come from it. "No.." he replied and sat on his bed. "It's way worse than that," he added. 

Armin furrowed his brows. "What happened?" he asked. 

Eren threw his phone onto his nightstand. "I got benched for what happened at the rival game, so don't expect me to be playing. I can't go to practice either," he replied and leaned against the wall. 

The blondes eyes went wide as saucers hearing the news. "What? That's never happened to you before…" he said and looked down. 

"Yeah.. I guess the other players have talked about it too," Eren said and adjusted his man bun. "Which is absolute bullshit to me," he added and shrugged. 

Armin stayed silent as he listened to Eren rant, he knew how badly the situation was. Being injured didn’t exactly help anyone, being benched was the best course of action. Seeing the way he played on Saturday was kind of embarrassing in a way, Eren barely let anybody have the ball. 

"What am I going to do? My teamwork skills are fine!" Eren complained, staring up at the ceiling. 

Armin laughed a bit. "You're going to have to work on it yourself. Teamwork takes a lot of self work, it's up to you to fix it." he replied. "I wish I could help but to be honest, I suck at that kind of stuff." he added. 

Eren felt a small smile draw onto his lips. "It's okay Armin… I guess I have to fix all of this on my own," he said. 

"So you're benched for the next game?" Armin asked and nodded a bit. 

Eren sighed. "Yup… and who knows how long either. Coach told me to not show until I get my act together," he replied, putting his arms behind his head. "Which sounds stupid to me because I'm fine the way I am," he added and shrugged his shoulders. 

Armin closed his laptop and placed it next to him. "Maybe you have to accept his words Eren.. he could be just trying to help you," he said, looking over at him. "Sometimes you have to face the reality of it," he added. 

Eren sat up and looked towards his roommate. "No.. there's nothing wrong with me Armin. If he was trying to help he wouldn't have benched me," he replied. "I'll be fine.. just don't worry about it," he said and stood up limping to get his medication. 

Armin stayed silent and just watched as Eren took his medication. Was Eren right about everything? Maybe his skills were fine and everyone was just being dramatic, or maybe Coach Smith was right. Maybe Eren needed the work, that was something Armin wasn't sure of, but judging off the way Eren played on Saturday… he was convinced Eren did have issues on the field. 

One thing was for certain, something was up with Eren.

tagging: @ererokii @eremiie @callmepromise @moomii-hime @katsuhera @flam3bird @kc-braun @backstagepaige @thicmitten @daughter-of-the-stars11 @just-a-little-sad @chayauwu @sof-yeager @basket-flower-chick @lunamoonawatcher

[al3x1ss]

Just a friend to you

Chapter 6: Roaring 20s

“There they are!”

The door creaks out to reveal Y/N and her team following, with their coach trailing behind. Random cheers filled the air as the captain lifted a hand, giving a short wave.

The girls walked in as Y/N removed her jacket, tossing it to her other coach.

“Alright ladies, first game,” She started as they kept walking, their heads turning to her while she kept looking forward.

“Don’t let me down.”

The girls kept walking their coaches stopping next to eachother, looking at the girls walk ahead to their side of the court. They looked at eachother, nodding, proud of their choice of Y/N as captain. They knew she would do well, however, she took the role very quickly and quietly. She did have flaws, but she owned up to them, which is what made not only her, but her teammates moral boost.

The girls lined up on the end line, with their coach standing in front of them.

“Alright! I want Captain on the other side and Vice on this side doing serving drills. Vice, if you will.” Aika steps up in the front, giving a nod to her other teammates.

“This is a game we call scatter. If I call your number, name, anything, you have to go for a ball being served from the opposite side. Yes, I know that there are balls on the ground, however, this is to help so that “Husband and Wife” plays do not happen. Am I clear?”

“Yes Vice!”

“Alright, let’s get going!” Aika clapped her hands, each of the girls going to their respected side. This drill went on for a little, the girls realizing they only had about 20 minutes left of practice time.

“Alright, spiking drills! Y/N, Takara, I want to see setter dumps. If I call it, you need to fix it.”

“Gotcha coach.”

Spiking drills went on, the girls correcting themselves as best as they can, polishing their mistakes. As Ine went up to spike, Y/N pulled off a backwards dump, pushing it from her right hand over her left shoulder, instead of left to right.

“Y/N WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME” Ine growled, Y/N beginning to laugh.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry!” Ine began to jab Y/N in the side, both of them still laughing. Aika looked at them weirdly, cracking a smile as the pair finally settled.

“Huh, didn’t know Y/N could do that.”

The Fukorodani team overheard this, turning towards a blonde speaking to someone identical and another person.

“Well we haven’t seen Y/N play in years, dip shit!”

“SHUT UP SAMU!”

“You guys know Y/N?”

The 3 boys turned to be faced with an owl look alike, Atsumu turning to look at Osamu and Suna, then back to the figure.

“Yeah, we grew up with her, and then this is Ine’s boyfriend.” Atsumu said, putting a hand on Suna’s shoulder. “You guys know her?”

Kaori and Yukie’s heads popped out from the group after hearing “Ine’s boyfriend”, turning to find Suna standing there.

“Oh, hey Suna!”

“Oh, hi there Kaori, Yukie.”

The rest of the group turned to the 3. Bokuto and Akaashi facing Kaori and Yukie.

“What, you didn’t think that we haven’t met him, did you?”

Osamu lifts his hand off his chin, his eyes slightly widening at the realization.

“Oh! You guys must be Kaori and Yukie then.”

Yukie’s eyes began to water immediately, Osamu’s eyes widening fully in panic.

“I’m sorry! Did I say something wrong-“

“Y/N ACTUALLY TALKS ABOUT US-“

“HEY!”

Yukie turns to the voice, facing Y/N giving her a death glare. Since the two groups were at the edge of the bleachers, apparently it was easy to be heard. Yukie gave Y/N a scared smile, Y/N nodding before calling her team over to the benches.

“Kaori I’m gonna shit myself oh my god-“

The boys busted out laughing, the Inarizaki boys realizing just how much of an effect Y/N had on the Fukorodani school. As the laughing died down, Atsumu spoke up.

“Well, I’m Atsumu, this is my stupid ass twin Osamu, then you guys already know Suna.”

“I’m Bokuto! And this is Konoha and Akaashi.”

Akaashi?

Suna pulled out his phone, scrolling through his texts between him and Y/N, realizing who Akaashi was to her. Suna entered his group chat with the twins, texting frantically.

“Alright kids, I mean I was gonna call you losers but I don’t wanna lose.” Y/N lets out a smile as her team huddled around her, Aika on her left and Takara on her right.

“Alright captain the floor is yours.” Y/N sighs, looking at Ine giving her a smirk.

“Trust me, I know I’m a shitty Captain sometimes-“

“Sometimes?”

“Jun I’ll kick your ass. Anyway, before I was iNTERRUPTED, this is our first game, and if we screw up there will be more. But, despite only being captain for a bit, we’re doing pretty well so far.” The other girls nodded along, agreeing with their captain silently.

“Now, I don’t want to see any broken ankles, just bruises probably, and I want to see 25 points on that board for our team, ya hear me?”

“Yes Captain!”

“Alright, benchers, bench, courters, let’s bounce.”

Notes

Y/N likes Akaashi

Bokuto always sends Facebook inspiring memes before games

Scatter is a game Aika made last year during a practice and has been kept around every since

This is an actual drill my team and I had done! It was surprisingly not as faulty at first? Like some were scared but at some point it’s just natural to avoid and recieve

The Inarizaki boys haven’t seen Y/N play volleyball since she was in her 2nd year in middle school

While Y/N introduced Suna and Ine, the rest of the Fukorohoes actually first met him on FaceTime when they slept over Ine’s, then actually met him in person

Being talked about by Y/N without being bashed is one of the highest honors

Suna was the only one that ever remembered Y/N mentioning a boy. Osamu just forgot and Atsumu didn’t really care.

All 3 of them are on Ratatouille the musical tiktok so that’s why that is their GC name

The 3 boys agree that Akaashi Keiji is absolutely stunning and that Y/N surprisingly does have good taste in men

Back to Masterlist

C. 5 <- C. 6 -> C. 7

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