#I am grateful every day that he doesn't have social media

[st-eve-barnes]

Anyone genuinely complaining or bitching about Ewan's looks or hair will go straight to my block list. I do not want to see that kind of negative energy or judgmental behavior over our guy.

[patientlibrarian]

IT'S LOVE GARCIA FLYNN DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New to "Timeless" this year (you wouldn't believe the series we've either not had or have almost been 'hidden' from us in the UK over the years) and also social media, this isn't going to be the most professional post for this special day, but I had to join in. I'm still getting it together with blogging.

And we're off.........

Where to start?! Oh yes!! If you can take your eyes off the biceps for a while (difficult I know) I love the way he looks so intently at the journal.

Oh those long fingers!

Don't worry, I won't struggle! Already reminding us of the height difference between Flynn and Lucy.

Mean, moody, magnificent!

"Okay, we just love to see the profile."

"Oh, you're here at last! I'm ready! Just let me say 'goodbye'. "Bye!" Now close the door quick!

"Don't I look adorable?"

I REALLY wouldn't be struggling"!!! Terrific scene displaying the choices Flynn feels he has to make and how he struggles with that.

"Sorry! Should have warned you this one was coming!" One of the most addictive scenes.

"Had to include the tongue!"

"Just showing off my profile again!"

"Is this the sexiest, the absolute sexiest look of all?"

"I DO have a 'thing' about him in suspenders/braces!"

"It's the 'tongue' again!"

"I quite understand! Although I'm quite ready to sit and talk if you want!"

"And here's the tongue again!" Oh he looks like he is really having it bad in prison, as we know he does.

He really does have to bend down doesn't he?"

"Oh!! That protective arm. Gets me every time!" Another 'look' and indication of how he feels about her.

Ohhhh! That look! A scene that has SO much in it.

"Ohh! So nearly holding her!"

+++"One of my utmost favourite clips. I STILL say that they could be holding or touching hands!" Trust you-know-who to ruin it!

"Oh thank you!"

"Oh those looks again!" Another of my favourite scenes and the way they look at each other not knowing what their future holds.

"Ready and waiting."

"This is almost too much to bear at times. Oh the emotion, the obvious way he cares about her.

"And we're back at the 'looks' again!" One of only a few 'watchable' scenes in this episode.

Yes, I am one of the people who believes Flynn moves in for the kiss, because of the way she looks at him. The only reason to watch this episode is for how fabulous he looks with the beard.

I can't get over what an incredibly complex character Flynn is and how his life changes after he meets Lucy. I decided I had to get involved with the series fans after surviving (just) the last episode(s) earlier this year. After "...all my love, Flynn.." I was a broken woman. I couldn't believe that the team were standing there toasting him, when the means to save him was just yards away!

I'm so grateful that so many fans have kept this series alive and what wonderful stories are to be found on AO3. Thank you.

[sangoqueenkoko]

long distance

fluff

wendigoon/reader - subscribe to him neow!

MAIN MASTERLIST | OTHERS MASTERLIST

.

Summary: long distance relationship with Isaiah <3 and what happens when you two are together or not.

Warnings? Nope! isaiah being a simp. the reader doesn’t live close to Tennessee, maybe out of the US. And the reader doesn't use social media much.

This took over a month to write I am so sorry. I TRIED TO MAKE IT LONGER BUT IT DIDN’T WORK!

this and this song helped 🥺

1.6k words-

Nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it.

In 2018, a survey found that 60% of long-distance relationships last. Academic researchers report that 37% of long-distance couples break up within 3 months of becoming geographically close. Couples are just as likely to break up during the distance phase as they are after the distance ends.

Because that wasn't the current situation for you and Isaiah, but things were complicated considering that a significant distance was between you and different time schedules. Hundreds of miles away from each other just makes it awkward at times, but it is always worth it in the end when you do finally get to talk to each other. And this mainly took place when either of you didn't have much to do, either evenings, or mornings, like if you have to get up to work early, and if he has been up before doing a video or something. Sometimes when you two talk on the phone, it is in the evening for one of you, which means someone, or both of you, accidentally falling asleep, still on call.

It ends if someone wakes up before the other and hangs up, or, someone's phone dies.

Either way, it wasn't entirely practical.

You both find it very boring at times. Mainly because it isn't easy just going to see each other, that isn't how it works. I feel like I'm repeating myself. Anyway. Umm.

Oh!

But when you two do talk, it is always the best part of the day. Any and every conversation always consists of talking about movies, watching movies over Discord, anything interesting that may have happened locally or online between talks, and, of course, how you both miss each other. Because I am not lying when I say it is true. That man is a literal simp for you. Yes, simp. And no not a jar of mayonnaise going up an escalator. Like you have no idea how much he just wants to hug you. And you wanna hug him too. Same.

If you live in the US:

It's either a plane ride or a long road trip for you to go and see him. If you don't like plane rides, understandable, you take a road trip. Isaiah doesn't like plane rides either.

If you took a plane to see him, you could watch his videos to pass the time, and listen to podcasts he's been in, that is if you're driving too.

But you don’t call each other on the plane rides, definitely on the car rides though, mainly because you don’t want anyone to hear what you’re saying. One, it’s a private conversation, and two, people shouldn’t be nosey. And you don’t want to disturb the peace.

Which is fair.

But if he is coming to you, definitely a road trip. As I said, he hates plane rides. Which definitely contains phone calls. Neither of you can contain your excitement. He is a child at heart. He knows you know that. And you like it. You find it sweet.

BUT. for if you don’t live in the US:

Even if he hates plane rides, he will happily sacrifice himself for the journey. Only if it means he sees you again. And when you meet by the gate, or wherever people meet, he is ready to catch you as you run towards him. Like- *gently holds*

This man is precious✨

You bring him something as a congratulations for surviving the trip. Which he is always grateful for. He is grateful for you. You let him stay at your place, of course. Which is sweet too.

But if it was the other way round, and you visit him, he gives you your favourite flowers when you both finally meet 🥺👉👈

Hugs too. Because he’s a hugger, in my opinion. Have I said I wanna hug him already?

Mf loves you and would do anything for you. Preach.

Speaking of podcasts he’s been in. If he is the only guest there, he would be asked about his career on YouTube etc, and he would be asked about you. As it is known on his channel that you do not live locally, and people are understanding if they see that he misses you. It isn’t easy living across the country or world. But while talking about you, he would be all sweet about it. A little sad at times, because.. you know.

You + him + the big space between you both = big sadness.

I can somehow see Charlie asking him this on The Official Podcast, but, again, seeing as they know about you both and the distance between you, some would be curious about how your future would plan out. Because you ask guests on podcasts all sorts of questions, depending on the context, but if Charlie asked Isaiah if he ever planned on asking you a certain question. Ahem. Isaiah would respond with,

"At some point in the future, yes. It would be better to ask when they're closer."

Now that... that left some people thinking. Thinking ahead of the guy that would actually be asking it, y'all need to simmer down. But to you, it would legitimately be a surprise as you are someone who doesn't use social media as much as others would, therefore others would not be able to tag you to tell you.

And, and, and on the said podcast, Isaiah would mention how you both met. Even if it was in the most generic way, he would tell it how it was. And if it was awkward, better to tell it as it was rather than say it how you wish it was. The other hosts would lightheartedly joke about it throughout the rest of the podcast, but Isaiah would know it's a joke, keeping the good vibes throughout.

Like he could be asked how you both maintain it so well and what you can both do together even if you're nowhere near each other in the country or world. And as cliché it could sound, apart from calling each other every other night, when neither of you has much to do, you both play an online game.

A co-op one.

And that game was Spiritfarer. You take over a boat in the game to ferry spirits to the afterlife. You could play as Stella (who is a female by the way) or Daffodil, Stella's cat (male). But for story purposes, I will say that they are both gender-neutral so you can pick who you would want to play as. You both build a boat to explore the world, then befriend and care for spirits before finally releasing them into the afterlife. You can farm, fish and harvest your way across mystical seas. As if you both were living together in the first place. It is a sad game at times but also a down-to-earth one because just remember who you're playing it with.

If playing on stream, it would be a quiet one, with no donations, no loud noises, just peace for the two of you and for those watching. If it is a late-night game session for either of you, it would be on a night when you don't have to do much the next day. If some time passed while playing and it was mostly silence coming from you two, viewers new and old would most definitely know only good vibes reside there.

It can only bring you both closer, even if you have to say goodbye to the friends you both made along the way.

ENUF SAD. tell me why writing about angst is a strength for me

Back to when you two are together; it is so worth it.

Because it consists of you two either staying in or going out shopping or just general sightseeing. If you go out, you would hold each other's bags of things that you bought. Even if they were light. And expect him to buy you lunch, because I said so! 👹 He could buy you small little trinkets too.

Speaking of him buying you things! When his little Wendidude plushes and figurine came out, there is a 100% chance of him sending you one of each, think of it as three smaller versions of him are with you while the actual version isn’t. And I say it’s a lie if one, if not both plushes sat on your bed in the day. And you definitely sleep with them. Don’t lie to me! While his lil Youtooz figure is on your bedside. (I’m upset I didn’t have a change to but any)

And if inside at home, expect movies too.

With some snackies too!

Snuggles.

And if you have any pets, like a cat or dog, they will most definitely join in. Because it would be great. He definitely sees them as his own in a way, like a child maybe? You could stay there all day but I am afraid that won’t be possible because other things would have to be done. I guess.

And watching videos too! Even if they are spooky, funny, or just generally lighthearted.

Other than that-

If one’s wanted to do things without the use of technology, you play games. Because everyone has a game or two stashed in their house somewhere.

Expect both of you to get the slightest bit of competitive. In a playful way of course.

Which may include some mutual teasing 👁️👁️

No funky shit happens after, the man’s a Christian

Maybe a kiss or so

…

Definitely makes a video at some point during your stay. And definitely let’s the world know you’re his. Subtly. Cheek kisses and all that🥺

People find it cute.

He does too. He just finds you cute because yes and you can’t change my mind.

(Y/N)goon much? 🤨

You got yourself a good one.

But remember when I said he was asked a certain question and he answered with "At some point in the future, yes. It would be better to ask when they're closer”?

Mhm, yeah?

Be sure to keep that in mind for the future.

👁️👁️

shush he's explaining fnaf lore

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

Like I actively tried to kill myself at least once a year between 2013 and 2018. But I lived. Every single time.

And thank the powers that be that I did. Bc I've been able to do so SO much with my life. I mean, even before my brain really decided "hey fuck this" I was doing good.

But that's the thing. I dont NEED to good. Something I've learned (and still struggle with tbh) is that I don't have to justify my existence. At all. I could do absolutely nothing with my life and it's still valuable

At the end of the day, the week, the month, the year, the life, my HUSBAND(!) loves me. He moved away from everything he had ever known to be with me.

He'd never admit this, but I think he likes America better. If just for the food. (Sorry to my British friends but we got u beat there)

What I'm trying to say is

Actually. Idk what I'm trying to say. I'm sobering up and I'll deal w the brynjolf pegging nonsense tomorrow(/later (it's not tomorrow until I sleep goddamnit)).

Ig I'm just grateful. For this blog. For my life. There's a good metaphor out there somewhere. A dog wants a chocolate chip bagel, more than anything, and begs and whines and whimpers for it.

The dog, being a dog, doesn't understand that that bagel will KILL it. And not only hurt the poor dog, but everyone who loves the dog.

There was once a time I thought I wanted to die. More than ANYTHING I thought I wanted to die. I didn't quite understand how that would hurt the people in my life. How my (at the time) shit mental health and even shittier ways of dealing w it hurt those around me.

How if I, god forbid, really did kill myself, so many people would miss me. And I don't mean just my absence on social media. I mean people who love me. My friends. My family. My brothers and sister.

My husband. Who has known me since 2013. Can you believe that? We've known each other ten entire years. And I'm glad we were friends first. I'm glad we had figured out how to speak each other's language (something I truly struggled with until 2019) before we tried a relationship.

And even people I don't know. I have saved lives (no further detail; hipaa violation). There are people alive because I am also alive. Because for some reason the powers that be dictated that I woke up in a hospital instead of hell. Over and over and over.

Idk. Idk what I mean by all of this. I guess I'm just. Grateful. Grateful I'm alive. Grateful I have this blog. Grateful for the numerous and wonderful new friends I've mad lately. Grateful that in spite of everything, I'm still me.

Goodnight, I'll see everyone tomorrow and/or Monday (whenever I'm not busy).

I love you guys. I do. Securi dormi.

[denimbex1986]

'I'm at home in London, currently in my kitchen. It's fine. It's a bit of a weird time, but I'm kind of determined that when it's all over I'll get something out of it, you know? It's the first time in a long time that I've been able to stop, so if people I love are able to remain healthy then I feel kind of grateful.

People keep talking about the eerie calm, but I don't think it's the calm that's eerie, it's the fact it's happened so quickly, because stuffing ourselves into a tube five days out of seven is pretty eerie, I think. There's loads of eerie stuff the other way too.

I've got a few daily activities to stay calm. The main one is avoiding freaking out. I decided to have five things that I'm going to do every day and if i don't do them I'm not going to freak out. The best thing that I did was listen to Mo Gawdat. He wrote a book on happiness [Solve For Happy] and Elizabeth Day interviews him on her podcast. He just speaks with an incredible humanity, generosity, wisdom and calm about what this could be and how rather than following the herd we should focus on what we do and think ourselves. The majority of us are safe, he says – though he doesn't minimise the pain that some people are going through – and it's really been beneficial. It's brilliant. Elizabeth Day has just interviewed the great philosopher Alain de Botton too. Both are just guys who have great overviews.

I encourage all people to use the mute button on social media more, by the way. We are surrounded by so much information at the moment. I do not need to see a picture of an empty shelf in a supermarket, because that signifies to me that you, my friend, are an empty shelf.

This is the first pandemic we've had with social media and there's so much information. It's brilliant, Instagram, but you suddenly become aware, when your world becomes smaller, that you just don't need to engage. And people's misery seems to be the same as their showing off – people seem to show off their misery as much as their fabulousness. There are some people on Instagram who make you think, “That person is invading my daily life and I haven’t even met them!” So to be able to decide “I don't need you at this time”… there's something good about that. It's about looking to console people, rather than be consoled.

I suppose one thing I'd really like to change after the pandemic is people's attitude to what social media actually is. The point is about real connection, not just to filter the fuck out of everything.

With Zoom and being able to be online all the time, maybe there is a way of staggering traffic into the office, for instance. Maybe you don't need to be in work for 9am every day. It makes you realise things can change. Good stuff will come out of it, I think. Shaking things up and making people question who they are outside of their day-to-day persona: that's not a bad thing. The question is what makes you genuinely happy? What do you miss?

I am missing dressing up and occasions and all that stuff. But I've always been a big fan of the nonevent. Like the day after a wedding or at a funeral, when you don't expect anything specific and you're allowed to be whatever you want.

I had a Zoom conversation with one of my friends the other day and we showed each other all the shit clothes we're wearing right now. We did a little fashion show. It's amazing how it moves to the background in a situation like this, clothes and all of that stuff. There's a great freedom in that.

I went to a surprise Zoom birthday last week and it makes you realise what you bring to a party. You've got to bring something! Dressing up and having a sense of occasion is usually what you bring to a party, but in Zoom land you've got to bring more than that – you've got to bring the party! You can't just stand there.

I find on Zoom after two drinks I'm hammered and then you come off the call and you find yourself in your apartment swaying around and your like, “Jesus, I'm absolutely gone. Who else will I Zoom?”

Sometimes you need to stop and look at what's outside work – what's important. It sounds like a cliché, but that's a really big one for me.

Both my sisters put me on to Ryan Heffington's dance classes. He's based in LA and he's just full of joy and it's really stupid. He asks you to pick up bits of your laundry and swing them around. He's got some “punch the president” moves. The music is really fun, really camp. It's on LA time, but it stays up until the next day. But he’s a really brilliant choreographer and he leads you through the moves so it's not all high-octane. Afterwards you just feel really brilliant!" [Follow Ryan Heffington on Instagram here.]

I'm in love with my resistance bands. You can do so much with them. In this time when everyone's in their head, it's important to keep the exercise up. I never really used these before because I always went to the gym, but I've found out that you can break a sweat at home! You can do all sorts of things with these – you stretch them as much as you can.

I've been watching a lot of Tiger King, obviously, but I've also been watching Making The Cut, that new show with Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn. It's amazing. I love a design show – I loved Project Runway, I liked Next In Fashion – but the judges in this are Naomi Campbell and Carine Roitfeld, so it's proper high fashion. I love all that kind of stuff.

People keep saying, “Stay connected,” and I think that's important, but the person you're spending all your time with is yourself. And If I'm not checking in with what's going on with me, and I'm constantly Face Timing people and looking outwards rather than inwards… you go a bit nuts. So it's been a good time to meditate. I've had a mixed experience with meditation, but as things have gone a bit more mental I've needed a still space. And with all this information, I've found that if you look inwards and find peace, you're able to take that peace to the world. It doesn't feel hippy-dippy to me; it feels scientific. If you get better at finding the calm in yourself, I think it's easier to make sense of what's happening.

In terms of grooming I'm using Murdock's sea salt spray, because it's the only bit of sea I'm going to get right now!'

[sisterssafespace]

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatahu sister. I must say I am very proud of you and your team to keep growing in this particular platform. I used to be your very old follower and I have also sent you a few anon asks. I appreciate for your patience and sorry for my rantings. I appreciate for your replies to my every ask. 🤍 It fills me with joy to recieve a big-sissy-kind-of advice from you. My mumma is too an admirer of your beautiful knowledge despite your age. I previously deleted my Tumblr account because I was in my low point of life. And again created a new one just to thank you, I realised I was ungrateful for such a blessing. Subhanallah! I am an adult and in my college. I often spend my time alone because sadly my Muslim University doesn't have much practicing friends from my department. I am no one to judge but I know things won't go right if I join them. I always fantasy to marry a man of my dreams and probably a best friend would be a bonus. So I make dua in tahajjud everyday and ask Allah a number of things. I ask him from A to Z and I don't compromise in asking cause I know he is the Giver and the Provider. Buuuuuuuuttttttt as I make these duas I get constant bad thoughts in my mind and start to doubt Allah's power to fullfill my duas. I start to doubt to a point where I get demotivated to even make one dua. I rush my prayers, I rush my dhikr, I rush in everything and I get impatient to get my dua accepted. I have seen a lot of YouTube videos where muslimah just posts how their tahajjud duas got accepted few days ago, some said next hour. It baffles me and I ask myself, "how come my dua doesn't get accepted?", "How come they get everything they want whereas I don't?", "Did I commit too many sins to even get any dua acceptance?" And so I tried saying Astagfirullah 200 times after each 5 prayers. Sometimes I miss them due to classes. I have also recently unfollowed a muslimah social media influencer who never attended any University and is of my age. She has got beauty, health, weath and support. She vlogged her whole life for 3 years and showed how she got engaged and married and even gave birth few weeks ago. I was like, "woah! must be a true believer" and I almost start to cry over my life problems and sufferings and all. And I know this too that usually social media doesn't show the reality but sometimes it hurts so much that I tend to see what's really in front of me and not take a deeper look into it. Please help me how should I overcome such negative thoughts and feelings. And what else do I need to get my specific duas accepted in tahajjud? I'm not ungrateful, I am just impatient. How do I master patience? P.s: some of my duas got accepted and I am grateful for it. But negative thoughts just kicks in you know. 💔😢 The devil doesn't take a break.

Assalamualaikum habibty 🥹🥹🥹💗

MashaaaaaAllah such a long multidimensional ask :') where do I start?

First of all, I would like to apologize for the delayed answer, as you may know, the genocide happening right now in Gaza is taking a toll on all of us and our mental health, I am trying my best to deal with my survivor's guilt and find strength to function as normally as possible. Allahu al mustaān.

With that being said, thank you thank you thank you for the kind words, may Allah swt bless you and your momma, and grant her good health and happiness ameeeeeen !! I appreciate your words habibty, Jazaki Allahu kulla khayr 🤍 Sometimes I forget that we have been doing this for a while, and that our posts and answers have helped sisters through different periods of their lives, it helps to be reminded, alhamdullillah 🤍

O Allah swt make me better than what they think of me and forgive me what they don't know about me :')

Now let's talk about your negative thoughts. Those are basically shaytan trying to pull you far from Allah swt and distract you habibty. As we know, shaytan's biggest promise/challenge is to distract the slave of Allah from their worship. So whatever you are focusing on, shaytan will come and try to pull you as far as possible from that. And the harder you stick to that act of worship (in your case duaa and Tahajjud) the harder shaytan will try and fight you. But you have to put in mind one thing: Allahuma barik laki, you are already winning by waking up and praying Tahajjud, you are already winning the Love of Allah swt. Tahajjud is not for everyone, it is only for the brave hearts and the pure hearts, they say that Allah swt invites his beloved slaves for Tahajjud, it is like a superpower, so you should know, waking up for Tahajjud is already unlocking doors for you and taking you up many levels in Jannah in shaa Allah, regardless of whether the duaas are accepted or not. And that is one thing you should be comforted by I hope.

As for duaas being accepted, there are a lot of lectures online by expert shuyookhs and imams who talk about this matter. What they have almost all agreed upon is that making duaas is in itself a beloved act of worship to Allah swt and you'll be rewarded just for that. Then Allah swt has three ways or responses to your duaas: 1) yes, now. 2) yes but not now, later. 3) no that's not good for you but I have something better for you.

And we don't interfere with Allah's timing my dear. All you have to do is ask and leave things in His hands. It is a matter of faith. It is sufficient that you truly believe that Allah swt knows what's best for you and when is the right time to give it to you my dear. You just have to believe that and be at peace with not knowing, and be at peace with waiting. You did mention Sabr, patience, which is crucial in waiting for our duaa response. Prophet Yaqub (as) waiting his whole life for Yusuf (as) to come back to him, he knew in his heart that Allah swt will reunite him with his son, and he never despaired. It took years and years but he never lost hope, or felt frustrated. And that's just one example.

But anyways, if you need to strengthen your chances of your duaas being accepted, you need to start and finish your duaas with sending salaams and prayers upon Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, and you need to ask Allah swt with His specific names, so for example, if you are asking Allah for forgiveness you need to use His names that carry the meaning of forgiveness ( Al Ghaffar, Al Ghafour, Al Ghafir..) and if you are asking for rizq in marriage, ask Him swt by His names Ar-razzaq (the provider/ sustainer), Al-Wadud ( the loving one) .. Al Fatih (the opener).. Al Aleem (The knower of all..) etc.

+ about the topic of rushing after prayer, I do struggle with the same issue sübhanallah, and here is a personal hack that helps me with it. I am a visual person I need visual reminders, so what I would do is make notes on papers, I would write the after-salah adhkar, some duaas, tasbeeh.. and stick them on the wall in my salah corner so when I finish my salah it is right there in front of me I can't skip it. But if you're rushing to go to class then stick to the bare minimum: Ayatul kusee after every fard (obligatory salah) and on your way to class say Sübhanallah x10 Alhamdullillah x10 Allahu akbar x10, and you're all set in shaa Allah 😚 See, Islam is beautifully easy and simple if you want to simplify it. Sübhanallah, our deen is that of ease 🤍

To conclude, I don't want to make this any longer for you, for the negative thoughts keep in mind that it is from shaytan and he is only trying to distract you, whenever you feel like you're slipping into that hole pull back by saying I seek refuge in Allah swt from Shaytan, say la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah x100 a day if you can as well.

I will leave you with this simple but powerful duaa:

Allahuma aenee alaa thikrika wa shukrika wa husni ibadatika : O Allah, help me with remembering you, thanking you, and well-worshipping you.

I, from the bottom of my heart, pray Allah swt grants you ease, relief and comfort habibty. May Allah swt grant your heart its biggest wishes and reward you with an immense joy that makes you burst into tears, soon ya rab ..

Fi Aman Allah my precious one 💗

- A. Z. 🤍🍃

[spursdontplaybasketball]

Talk Hockey to Me

tagged by @giirlinterrupted 🤍💙

Tell me about:

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

I grew up in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, about an hour south of Hershey, PA. My dad grew up going to watch the Hershey Bears play minor league hockey in the American Hockey League, and he continued the tradition with me (and my sister sometimes.) At first, I only really liked to go to the games for an opportunity to spend time with my dad, which was rare sometimes, but in middle school I somehow ended up being really good at floor hockey when we played it in gym class. One day I managed to score a hat trick, even though I was terrible at every other sport. (I also had a crush on one of the players on my school's hockey team at that point.) So I just kinda thought hockey was fun at that point and started enjoying the actual games more. Then I picked a favorite player from the Bears independently for the first time, and it was Mike Green. I didn't know much about him, just thought he was cool. He turned out to be really good, and when he got called up to the NHL to play for the Capitals, I started watching the Caps games on TV. (I was also lucky that we got the sports channel from Washington DC, despite not being all that close to there.)

2. Your first ever fandom friend

I'm not too established in the hockey fandom on here. I have a personal blog that I rarely use anymore that I used to post occasional Caps stuff on and follow a few Capitals people, but that's on a different account that I rarely use. I know hockey has become a lot more popular on footieblr over the years. I remember a few years back when it was more unusual for these fandoms to overlap that I sent a message or two to people who were in both fandoms that I thought it was cool that they liked both sports like I do. Basically my only hockey friend on here is @giirlinterrupted (and I'm so grateful that she doesn't put Sidney Crosby on my dash like so many other footieblr hockey fans seem to do.) IRL I have been surrounded by hockey fans most of my life though, because it's pretty big in my state in general, so the main time I felt a little more alone on that was the 2 1/2 years I was living in San Francisco. Unfortunately I am currently surrounded by Penguins fans :( as I am living in Pittsburgh. My IRL best friend is also into hockey, but she is a Sabres fan since she is from Buffalo and now lives in Rochester, NY.

3. The jersey you would most like to own

I wish I had an old Mike Green or Jay Beagle Caps jersey. Mike Green is now retired, and Jay Beagle, I don't even know.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

I still have an unhealthy attachment to Jay Beagle even though he's been off the Caps for years. None of the current players can live up to that.

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

Don't really read fic much, but Ovi/Backstrom (I'm so out of the loop that I don't even know if they have a ship name) are adorable together, and idk how popular they are, at least outside of Caps fans.

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

6/7/18. What else? I still cry when I think about it sometimes, and I can barely listen to "I Will Wait" by Mumford and Sons without crying due to that "Worth the Wait" video the Caps put out on social media after the Cup win.

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

He's here on Tumblr (@mxgicdave) but I could only find my favorite pic of his on Twitter:

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

Got nothing. I tried to write a few things about hockey in the past, but not since I was like 13. I was writing a story about a minor league hockey player whose playing got impacted by past trauma. Didn't get very far, then I was also trying to write a murder mystery featuring the Capitals, and I got even less far with that.

no pressure tagging:

I have no one to tag! :(

[msginnymalfoy]

Tell me your

-Top 10 favourite characters

-5 characters you dislike

-Top 10 favourite ships

-5 things you want in the movie

-reason you started watching the show ?

-reason you like this show so much?

TOP 10 CHARACTERS:

[in no particular order]

Scott Mccall (10 excluding scott bcoz he is my no.1)

Malia Tate

Derek Hale

lydia martin

isaac lahey

mason hewitt

liam dunbar

melissa mccall

chris argent

deucalion

theo raeken s6

5 CHARACTERS YOU DISLIKE:

[in no particular order]

Stiles Stilinski (blame the fandom)

Kate argent

Tamara Monroe

theo raeken s5

Gerard argent

TOP 10 FAVOURITE SHIPS:

[in no particular order]

SCALIAAAA

Scisaac

thiam

layden

Draeden

Morey

Dethan

McArgent (Melissa-Chris)

Malira

Scydia

5 THINGS I WANT IN THE MOVIE:

[in no particular order]

SCALIA

SCALIA

SCOTT MALIA TOGETHER

SCALIA FOREVER

MORE SCALIA

REASON I STARTED WATCHING TEEN WOLF:

This might seem unreal because i have proven to be nothing but a hater but while most people say they started watching teen wolf for DoB, i didn't watch it because of him. i always thought he was an overrated guy and one thing i hate the most on social media- over hyped, pr driven celebs. So one day when i got to know dylan is NOT the main character of the show by a twitter mutual (yeah i too, like most people who didn't watch the show thought dob was the main character) i planned to watch the show along with tvd which i always wanted to watch because of the famous love triangle track. every day 1-1 episode of both shows... but tvd got boring for me and i binge watched the whole teen wolf series in a week. i could rant about it all day but lemme conclude this with that, i am grateful to be introduced to scott mccall. i was a different person before he came into my life.

REASON I LIKE THIS SHOW

I don't know where to start lmao

1. The lack of daily soap drama in this show is what makes me obsessed with more and more everyday. like first of all, there is no girl fighting other girl over a fucking boy. erica-allison doesn't count because erica only wanted to provoke allison. i love how jeff skips the melodrama.

2. The women, each and every woman from lydia allison kira malia, melissa, noshiko, jennifer, kali, kate, victoria hayden, braeden, monroe, morell satomi, Lori & even natalie martin.... each and every woman brave, bold, awesome and BADASS in their own way. one thing about jeff, he knows how to write strong women. heros or villians. each female character on that show is strong and badass as hell.

3. The bond, the chemistry between characters 🤌

4. Hot people. Hot beautiful and sexy men & women.

5. Scott Mccall

i have more but can't think of it now.

Thanks for asking me this question!!

[j-a-smiths-blog]

1918 14July22: Study and Research.

While I am no college grad nor have I ever attended any proper film schooling. I still learn but I learn in my conditions that I have readily available.

Youtube and reddit and all these social media items are great learning resources but what about known media that has gathered millions of views... what if you breakdown established media?

It is great to really dive in and look at these shots. Every shot you question yourself.

1. Angle

2. Lighting.

3. Where's the focus

4. How does this fit into the story.

It's not just those questions you ask yourself but those are great starting points that help me establish my own thoughts on how the set was established to get these shots.

Tonight scene I am breaking down is Season 1 Episode 1 opening scene which is six minutes and ten frames long before it roles to the opening credits of the TV series. Inside those six minutes and ten frames are 172 shots.

Then you start to think... how did they compile the shot list and how many days did it take to shoot this opening scene.

If I further start to break it down these 172 shots are almost all unique shots too. I only see a couple shots where it dialog back and forth where they might have shot all the dialog of one character and then all the dialog of the other character and spliced it together. That maybe brings it down to 168 shots. Crazy right?

So I then start to wonder.

Day 1. Let's get the John Silver and Crew member hiding below decks shots done today. So it's alot of tight looking shots, but looks can always be deceiving. The reason I really feel like they are tight shots is that there is some movement that sort of allows you to see the entire room. Leads me to believe they shot it on a real ship.

So with that being said I really see in the room just the actors, camera and audio. The director is probably viewing via a wireless monitor on the other side of the wall. So with this being in a ship obviously we can not just hook up a bunch of lights to light the scene. We have to be wise. They would have 2 possibly 3 light sources... those being 1 natural sunlight, this would be just a wee bit due to you wouldn't want a crap load of large view ports for water to intrude into your ship. 2 would be candle light which would be just a few candles that would be in lanterns to prevent the ship from catching fire but allowing the room to have some light. The third source would be the cooks fire pit but this space they were in didn't look like it would be where the cook would be.

The Director of Photography would really need to direct his assistants the lighting crew and gaffers exactly what he would need for every shot to give that ship feel.

Now since I was breaking down every single shot I did happen to run across some mistakes. We are human and they happen. These guys are professional and if you were not looking for them... you wouldn't find them... there is a shot when John Silver and the crewman get into a scuffle and the crewman pulls a sword/cutlass out and swipes at him..this swipe is broken into 2 shots. Unfortunately the second shot is missing some of the lighting from the first shot. First shot has a slightly blue hue to it which seems to be coming from the overhead grate but it doesn't explain the bluish light that is seeming to come from down low towards his arm pit. So when they switch shots his armpit no longer has a bluish tint and now the entire shot has a slightly warmer feel.

Crazy stuff! But it's good to know that if professionals make mistakes you can make mistakes you just gotta know how to keep it rolling and not bring attention to it.

[eucalyprhodes]

33

Last few hours of being 32!

It's almost my bed time but I wanted to reflect a little bit about 32.

32 was unexpectedly hard.

The primary theme of 32 was our TTC journey. By this time, we had only been trying for a year which I fully understand, is nothing compared to many others who had been TTC much longer than us. However, I feel that because of my age, not conceiving after a year gives more sense of urgency ... Meanwhile, lots of friends around us announcing their pregnancies, most didn't even need to struggle or wait, all of that were so apparent across social media and it serves as painful reminders that I am not capable of having what they have. I'd like to reiterate again that my situation in hindsight, is not that bad, however, the constant exposure to it on social media contributed to the feeling of comparison. Also, at this time, I still subscribe to the prosperity type of gospel "if I just have enough faith, God will give me what I want" so it was a struggle to pray about this every night. I questioned if my prayer was even right because deep down, I always knew that it's God's will, not mine.

As the year went by, God was gracious to change my heart and mind. He led us to a new church where we get to call home, one that is biblically sound and encourages me dig deeper into the Word. Slowly (and painfully if I may add), God transformed my heart into understanding His plan. I have now understood that becoming parents is a privilege, not a right. No one deserves a right to a child which means, we are to not have the mindset of "doing whatever it takes to conceive because we deeply long for a child". It is why we wholeheartedly chose to not pursue IUI or IVF because we don't want to take conception out of its natural environment as God designed it.

I now understand that even if God decides in all His perfect wisdom to not gives us children, that is all good because He knows what's best for us. I also understand especially as Christians, this is so painful to accept. Be fruitful and multiply is literally God's command to us. We are called to have children! This is a perfectly good and acceptable wish to have so why would God not give that to us?

Simple. Because our purpose in life is to glorify God, not to be a mother, not to be a wife, or anything else you can think of. Those are secondary. Our first calling as a Christian is to serve God. Now, if He decides to bless me with children, that purpose still remains because it doesn't matter what title we have, everything we do should always point back to glorifying God. When I got to this understanding, it was like unlocking a new level of freedom. I stopped tracking everything, I stopped obsessing about researching more information about fertility, and I slowly stopped becoming jealous of those friends who were blessed with children. Instead, I chose to be grateful for what He already blessed me with: a wonderful loving husband, a supportive family, great job with great colleagues and manager, and just the time spent with my loved ones. In late September, we went on a roadtrip to celebrate our anniversary and it awaken our sense of adventure once again. I realized that in the obsession of TTC, we have not done what we enjoyed the most: exploring the outdoors. In fact, we haven't done lots of things that we enjoyed because our thoughts were constantly revolved around TTC.

So, in December, to celebrate our 9th year bf/gf anniversary, we bought my dream car and we promised to take a trip on monthly basis (still working on this lol but we're getting better). We returned to Zion in January, and Bryce in April. We're planning camping trips to Bishop, Mammoth and Kings Canyon for summer AND we are finally planning to hike Big Pine lakes. We realized now that we'll never get this time back if and when we become parents so we want to use this time to really enjoy each other's company :)

It is true that I probably spent many days of 32 crying. My husband can testify to this and I am SO THANKFUL that he is able to handle that so well lol (it probably drive him crazy too at times). But it's also true that I spent even more days being in awe of what God is doing in my life. I am thankful that while TTC seemed to robed me of my joy (at first!), it also helped me pursue God deeper than I could've imagined. If I didn't experience it, my faith would've never grown. Sometimes, we have to experience the uncomfortable season so we can grow and be mature in our faith.

My prayer is that God continues to use me in this season to be a blessing to others, however that may look. 32, you were horribly GREAT. I loved being 32, I loved all the memories, and I can't wait to make new ones this year.

[lifeofchibidreamer]

Thank you, I finally forgive you..

It's been quite a while since my ex and I broke up. Many years have passed since our last conversation, and ever since then, all I've felt toward him is hate. I hated that I stayed with him for so long, hated that I gave so much and received almost nothing in return, but most of all, I hated the traumatic memories that I've kept unshared, even with those closest to my heart.

I poured all of myself into this one guy whom I thought would be my forever. I abandoned my male friends, who were like brothers to me, and quit most of my hobbies because he found them strange. I did all of this in hopes of his happiness, and because of that, I truly despised every aspect of our relationship when it ended. He was my world, and when it ended, I felt completely shattered. I was consumed by these painful memories, leading me to resent him and resent what we once had. However, I realized it wasn't all bad, because at one point, we were in love and happy. I was happy…

Though our relationship may not have ended well, I was happy. We were happy together.

I came to understand that my hatred was from the disappointment of the relationship not meeting my expectations. I was so fixated on this disappointment that all the joyful memories became overshadowed by bitterness.

I'm writing this now not because I still love him or have lingering feelings, but as a reminder to myself of the happy times when I was in love with him. To remember that I am capable of falling in love and being loved, that there is a person within me whom someone could genuinely care for. Although it didn't work out, I still have to be grateful for having met him and for welcoming him into my heart.

I do recall thanking him for being my boyfriend, for being the one I used to call home, and for being the shoulder I leaned on during tough days, but what I never did was forgive him. This weight in my heart always lingered, filled with anger due to the bitterness in my mind. However, I've finally come to terms with myself; perhaps it's time to forgive him. Forgiving him doesn't mean I'll reach out to him again, but it means no longer feeling anger when I see him in my social media feed or hear his name. It means not feeling that pang when Facebook reminds me of a picture we took years ago. With that, I can finally release the heaviness in my heart and begin to live lighter.

So to my ex, thank you for the memories. I finally forgive you.

[maladapt1veromantic]

i miss your warm hands

last week i wanted to kill myself. i got kicked out of college for the third time. i haven't told anyone. i'm twenty-six. my husband is deployed. i haven't eaten more than one meal a day for over a month. i'm in debt. i hate my job; i take no pride in it. i am constantly aware of the cold medicine and muscle relaxers in my medicine cabinet, of the liquor under my sink, the sake in the fridge, the ice cream in the freezer. i get up and go to work and cry on the way home. but i still get up. that counts for something, right? is that enough to deserve the love my family gives me?

i stayed up too late and thought about the shotgun in the closet, that if i do it, it should be in the bathtub. i felt bad for whoever would find me, though. maybe pills would be easier on EMS, but then what if i started to rot before anyone came looking for me? who would come looking? there's a sick pleasure in wondering who would miss me. the pleasure is tempered with guilt; it keeps me getting up every day. what a fucking terrible thing to admit.

i thought about who i would want to say goodbye to. about the people i would curse. i wish my sister had been kinder, i wish my husband had been taught how to say i love you more than he does. i wish my dad knew how to crawl out of his depressive episodes, his binge drinking. i wish he could tell me how, too. but they're not the reason i feel like this. that doesn't seem fair. i am. it's my fault. i've made a mess of it all.

the thoughts are so ugly sometimes that it scares me. i've isolated myself despite the beautiful humans who keep reaching out their hands; i don't know how to talk to people when all i want to ask is why any of us are even here. i've spent so much of my life curating an image that i don't need to be loved unconditionally to want to live. i called my mom and cried because i didn't have the energy to go to the kitchen and eat for the sixth day in a row. there's so much shame in not brushing your teeth as much as you should, in waiting one more day to shower. i'll do the laundry at 4pm, but then it's 4:03pm and I'll just wait til 5. it's been three months since i've had clean sheets.

my doctor wants me to try taking prozac. i'm scared it'll change me. i lost all my feelings when they put me on lexapro. i hate who i was on that medication. i don't want to lose my sex drive; it's one of the only things i feel like i have left right now. i don't want to need a pill to find a purpose. i don't want my husband to look at me differently. i don't want my sister to tell me that she regrets ever taking meds herself. i don't want my mom to tell me that my depression is situational, and the meds won't help anyways. so i never picked up the prescription, and i skipped my followup appointment.

i watch my old friends on social media and think about all the ways i was cruel to them. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. i'm sorry if i hurt some part of you that will never heal up right. do you feel my absence on my birthday, like an old knee injury that aches before a thunderstorm? i feel you, too. is there something beautiful in that? or is it all just ugly?

i spend hours playing videogames and writing fanfiction. it's what i look forward to. i'm so grateful for the friends i've made there who have gamer tags so inappropriate and ridiculous that i can't say them out loud without giggling. when they told me their first names, i clung to the vulnerability of it all. i want to tell them that they're saving my life, but that's a little too heavy, i think, so i just ask if they want to play another round. i stay awake and wait to see if anyone comments on my newest posted chapter. i feel numb when no one does. when my coworker tells me he's proud of me, it puts a bandaid over some bullet wound in my chest i can't quite locate.

my brother brought his family to visit me this weekend. i almost cried when he kissed me on the cheek and told me that he'd missed me. he's got two kids. i fed them spaghetti and hugged them so tight. their hands were so little next to mine. i told them how much i loved them. i hope they never feel like this. when they cried because it was bedtime, i laughed and told them that tomorrow will come quickly, that there are so many adventures to be had come dawn.

i don't know if there is a god, but i think i need to imagine that he's there sometimes, just so i don't feel alone. does god laugh when i cry at his feet, begging for it all to get better? does he tell me just to wait til tomorrow, that something will give at some point? that the coffee in my cup with steam, and i'll scream my favorite songs in the car, and people will continue to be as kind as they are cruel, that my husband will come home and hold me and cook me dinner and i'll rub his back and kiss him in his sleep, that the fighting through it all will be worth it? there is no other side. is there? is there? is there? every day i open my eyes again and ask.

i think i want to live. i'm just scared that it'll hurt. i don't know where to put everything. i don't know how to ask someone if i can just sit with them for a while. i can't bear the look on someone's face when i confess that i've ruined something. i'm six again, and my future is the glass i just knocked off the table. i'm six and i want someone to help me glue it back together, but i'm scared that i'll get in trouble. i'm scared that when it breaks again, i won't have enough pieces this time. i'm scared to even touch it.

[treebloods]

16-11-2023

3:10am

I had a very bad allergy hit and i have been feeling sick for 2 hours now.

I decided to read night prayers

I remembered my grandma (God have mercy on her soul) she used to tell me whenever I felt pain whether it was in my stomach or back or any part of my body even my heart) to put my hands on that part and tell prayers ( make dua')

She lived most of her last period alone in her home, we used to visit her when we were young and we always were there she wasn't alone at all but when we grew up she used to spend more time alone since our visits and stays weren't as frequently as we were younger.

When I call her (actually she was the one who calls us every day and night to talk to us) and ask her how she is doing and she sounds sick she used to tell me that last night she felt sick (but she didn't want to call very late at night and make us worried) but she prayed to god and she kept reading dua' (prayers) until she felt okay and she slept.

She used to tell me that God is better than anyone, that he is always by her side and that making dua' always, always made her feel better and helped her to sleep and not once in my life i told her that i feel sick even tho i took my medicine without she telling me to pray and put my hand on my stomach (my stomach used to hurt me) and read Quran and Dua' and talk to god and she is just so sure that i will heal!

I guess life drifted me away, whenever any problem happens to me or whenever i go through a very heavy night or whenever i feel sick and that my heart is so heavy i used to distract myself i used to seek anything and everything! I figured out (right now) that I always forgot what my grandma said! I always forgot to seek who actually can and able to help me! God. I kept depending on my life on many things and forgot to depend on the most important, the one who created me. God. I forgot that god can sooth my heart, God can make me feel peaceful and can heal me, God can help me or send me ways and methods that help me.

Seeking Alah and only him on the heavy nights and whenever i feel sad or sick or whenever i feel hurt or in pain.

I put my hand on my chest and i started reading Dua' and Prayed. I remembered my Grandma –and told myself not to cry so my nose situation doesn't get worse– I remembered her putting her hand on my stomach and telling Duaa. I remembered her all alone in her home but she sought Alah and she never felt lonely because she knew he is there, always. I was feeling so lonely i was seeking social media and found out that there is no one to talk to i found out that i am searching for everyone but Alah, forgetting that God is always there i just need to Pray.

I feel better (i never doubted that i will) I feel less lonely. I feel thankful and grateful that God is there that i just only need to remember that and he always will be there! I don't need to search for anything else to distract me or help me but him! And i need to remember to seek him also in good moments for thanking him and being grateful for him. I feel my heart is at ease. I feel safe.

I feel like my grandma is here as if i just ended the phone call and did what she told me (to put my hand on my chest and pray and i will feel better)

Grandma, I miss you. Thank you.

[asking-jude]

My friend and I are both 28. We have gotten closer in the last 8 months. We have known each other since we were kids but weren't that close. I had a huge thing for him when I was 18 and he would always blow me off if I asked him to hang out or to meet up.

Fast forward to now. I have no feelings for him and he has a lot of feelings for me. He asked me out every chance he can. It's become so much. He's also always telling me how much he's in love with me and how anything I do or say makes him happy. He knows where I stand and he knows I am currently with someone but it doesn't stop him for making sometimes inappropriate comments.

At first I didn't care But as time goes on I get tired of it especially since he knows I'm sort of with someone. The thing is we have gotten so close because we have similar households and also similar views on things. I am completely opposite from him. I have lots of tattoos, I drink alcohol, I have colored hair and piercings Etc. He doesn't believe in doing any of those things and that's what makes question why he likes me. He hasn't been in a relationship in 4 years and is always super obsessive with me and also very desperate just to have attention or someone.

I definitely understand if he's just lonely but he makes it like it's my problem. He started going on dating sites and talking to other chicks. And I was happy for him. It got him out of his shell and got him to talk to other people. I enjoy my friendship with him but I also don't want him to wait around for me especially since I have no interest in him and he knows that. He has all these requirements that he wants out of a girl and that's another reason why I really don't have feelings for him. It's like impossible requirements. They have to be a certain weight and can't go above it or below it they have to always have long hair and never cut it no matter what. The list goes on.

But he found two girls that he really liked. One of them stop talking to him and another one was supposed to meet him. She was traveling from a different state. But something just didn't seem right but I didn't feel like I would be the person to tell him. Because he never believes when I feel like something is off or if something doesn't make sense. He always acts like I'm making it up. So the girl never showed up and she blocked him on everything. He had given me her phone number to text her to see if she was still there or not. But when I looked her number up it was a fake number and nothing matched. He definitely was being played but here's the big kicker.

Now he's taking it out on everyone including myself. He's been ignoring me and then when he talks to me he's very rude. He acts like I've never gone through difficult times. Some of his stuff started to worry me because of how mean he was. And his true colors started to show more. I'm kind of at a point where I don't want to let go of the friendship but I don't want to be talken down to. I don't want to be blamed for everything in his life. And just because it didn't work out with two girls he's acting like it's the end of the world. I've been in his shoes before and I've also been in the girls shoes as well. I was just trying to give him words of encouragement last night and he was so nasty to me. And I realize maybe I need a break from him. And even though I feel bad for him I know I can't do or say anything to him. I think What Hurts the Most is his birthday was a couple days ago and he had told me how no one ever celebrates his birthday. And I went out of my way and bought him all these different gifts and got him his favorite snacks and drinks. Went out of my way even when I wasn't feeling great and he seemed grateful for that brief moment but when his other friend shipped him some clothes he forgot everything that I had done. And then when this girl he was supposed to meet ordered him some food he acted like no one did anything for him and it was only her. He like ranted on social media saying how no one did anything for his birthday even though it was a lie because his mother also did stuff for him.

So... I really could use some advice about the situation. I know you can't tell me what to do but if you have any suggestions or ideas I would love to hear them. Thank you so much for everything. Your blog has helped me throughout the years.

Do you want free, fast mental health help? Visit askingjude.org.

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. I am sorry to hear that you are navigating a difficult situation; friendships are often confusing and frustrating, especially when friends do things that are out of your control. It is great that you can recognize when you are being mistreated and deserve better, and it is completely within your right to inform your friend he is hurting you or making you uncomfortable. It can be difficult when the people you love are struggling, and even more so when they direct their anger and frustration towards you.

You should consider having an honest and open-minded conversation with him about his behavior and how it is impacting you. When you decide to have this conversation, make sure you are both able to focus your full attention on each other. Provide details about what specific things he has done that have negatively impacted you. For example, mention his persistent and inappropriate pursuit of a romantic relationship and his careless reaction to your thoughtful birthday gift. Try to use “I” statements; for example, “I feel (say how you are feeling) when you act that way.” These kinds of phrases prevent your tone from sounding accusatory. You should also strive to maintain a calm demeanor and actively listen to his response.

I have linked an article that contains some additional information on how to have a difficult conversation: https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/5-steps-for-tackling-tough-conversations/#:~:text=If%20you%20do%20decide%20to,legitimate%20part%20of%20the%20discussion.

If he rebuffs your efforts to have an honest conversation, or if he refuses to change his behavior, you may want to consider taking some time away from each other. While you do not owe him an explanation, you can remind him that this decision has nothing to do with him; you are distancing yourself solely for the purpose of bettering your mental and emotional health. It doesn’t necessarily need to be physical distance; you could start with unfollowing or blocking him on social media or only speaking with him once or twice a week. Whatever boundaries you decide to implement, inform him and ask that he respect your decision. Always remember that boundaries are solely for your benefit and do not concern the people around you. If he reacts poorly to your new boundaries or says you’re overreacting, that should not affect your decision. You cannot control his actions, but you can control how you respond to them.

Here is more information on setting and enforcing boundaries: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships.htm.

You also mentioned that you feel guilty for wanting space. The act of distancing yourself from someone is not indicative of your opinion of him. You are allowed to take time away from your friendship with him to decide whether or not he is someone you still want in your life. This does not mean you do not care about him, and if he has a negative reaction to this decision, that is not your problem.

Here is an article that talks about how to identify a toxic friendship: https://www.thesource.org/post/10-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-friendship.

I hope that some of this information was helpful. Please feel free to reach out to Asking Jude again if you have any further questions.

Stay strong,

Andrea

Ask a question here.

[copingintheghetto]

Who, Where, Why?

I forget what my last words typed here were. Not gonna look. I just had a thought- why post what I find interesting about bands/artists and their lyrics, their donde estas- on facebook? Nobody in my friend list- mainly relatives because I deleted everyone my ex-sociopath boyfriend told me to- wants to read about these things. I should just blog about music and never write another line about anything on facebook.

While I'm here- there's something related to "living in the ghetto". Well, I came across the word. It seems that someone has tried to insult an intelligent, beautiful, professional, classy woman in Congress. I don't know if Ms. Crockett was born into poverty and clawed/climbed her way out or what. I am grateful that I wasn't born into poverty and have no idea what that experience would be like since I haven't lived it. All I can say is that I empathize with those struggling to rise above, cheer for those that do and feel confused as to why a person from a higher socio-economic background would spend their time casting stones at someone who rose above- someone who's words resonate with me- remind me that my glasses are, indeed, the right prescription as I try to keep my balance while navigating through my own little world, putting out fires big and small. Honestly, I wish I had not looked at this mess written on reddit and, instead, focused on my nauseating to-do list. SIDE NOTE- Mom On the Spectrum (also ADHD- on youtube.com) shared something that might be the best thing I've heard about all year. goblin.tools. Your to-do list- each task is broken down into steps for you. There's even this feature that compiles all of your 'brain dump' into a list of tasks! 'Judge' helps you read the tone of someone's message to you if you're not quite sure what to think about it. And it can help you think of a more tactful way to say something to someone. AND it can estimate how long any given task will take you to complete! Back to the beginning. Well, I think that person casting stones is doing so out of insecurity and not having any sense of self. SIDE NOTE- I have been struggling with talking out loud at home, alone, for a year and a half now. It's a compulsion, meaning I can't stop it even though I want to. I waste hours every day giving lectures, interviews, reenacting conversations- what I wanted to say, how I wanted to sound, all the points I wanted to make. Putting away some groceries takes 2 hours. I don't think it is OCD like my psych nurse practitioner said. I agree with the OCD personality disorder diagnosis I received 10 years ago though. I was going through a disorganized psych folder of mine the other day and came across a piece of paper with, "Dr. Clark" written at the top. At the very bottom is this: "Insecurity: loneliness and insecurity sometimes cause people to talk incessantly." But it doesn't say that it's all done out loud while alone like my situation. Regardless, I am definitely insecure. I was learning about all the different kinds of insecurity one can have the other day and it seemed that I had three types. All of it stemming from childhood trauma and abuse and all. So one shouldn't be ashamed about it. Should I waste time trying to put myself in the shoes of the stone thrower? No. I'm exhausted. Anyway, I digested some social media content along with all of the song lyrics I studied for the past week. The word 'ghetto' is used here. The post I read started with,

"Republicans don’t use racial slurs and stereotypes challenge GOP" from Reddit.

"With the disgusting remarks the left makes about Lauren [sic] Boobert, why shouldn't we be a little rough on ghetto Jasmine Crockett? Rep Crockett made an ass of herself during the #impeachmentinquiry hearing today...the woman has no class. I like Byron Donalds...he is a free-thinking black man with a brain. ""Cock-it"" is just a washed-up welfare queen who somehow made it to Congress." So, when you dislike someone for speaking truth backed up by facts, you lash out like a spoiled insecure child-bully because it makes you feel uncomfortable? You type out your lazy commentary- take jabs at someone superior in intellect and logic (just a hunch), knowing the majority of ignorant constituents wrapped around your cronies' fingers won't bother to look up the facts. This person and his/her cronies project a lot. (I think this is part of what's going on here. Not sure. I'm tired.) Repeatedly. Like, when will they stop?! Never. No shame because it would hurt their game. And they are in it to win it-no going back now! Having to admit defeat? No thanks. Let's just run with the ball and see how far we can go while ignoring the referees! When someone calls you something that they are, it is called psychological projection or projection bias. This is a psychological defense mechanism where a person subconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other people . (I'm not sure this is applicable here- I thought I was going somewhere with this.) Well, I think people like the one who spouted the hate about Ms. Crockett here are the ones making asses out of themselves. My mom does this. She- probably a narcissist- calls me one. SIDE NOTE: You can benefit from CBT if people do this to you- project- and you start to question yourself- start gaslighting yourself. It's crazy how that can start to happen. Second guessing yourself. Gaslighting- a subtle form of emotional manipulation that often results in the recipient doubting their perception of reality and their sanity. I guess I was saying that Ms. Crockett's words help protect me from gaslighting myself whenever I hear members of Congress squabbling about this and that. The stone thrower wants people to doubt themselves and their ability to think and reason. Doubt their intuition. Their gut feeling. This reminds me of my dad. He doesn't call to ask how I'm doing. He seems like a bully to me-one who is flat out bored sometimes. He calls to push my buttons because he's insecure. I never bring up politics but he usually, gleefully, sneaks something into a phone call for no reason. I don't share my opinion much because his loud, bellowing voice triggers my fight or flight response. If I didn't have these anxiety disorders and whatnot, he'd never speak to me about politics. Why do bullies pick fights with the meek? Insecurity. (again) I think most people know this in this day and age. But I still think that it is really sick and worth repeating that it is really sick. SIDE NOTE: I hope we can all express our own opinions without bighting each others' heads off one day. Wouldn't it be nice? (Beach Boys song popped into my head. I think it played at the end of a documentary I saw long ago.)

[aisyahnuraeni]

A typical year-end reflection

this very video just showed up when I was up for youtube days ago. it did bring me into tears, like?!?! I do have a little convo with my younger self whenever I am down, feeling weak, and unworthy. as far as I remembered, this is one of a psychological therapy called inner-child therapy, which the person attempts to heal on his/her own by having conversation with his/her younger self, giving the younger version of him/herself full attention especially positive affirmations. I HV BEEN INTO IT FOR LIKE 4 YEARS? AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT SOCIAL MEDIA HAS MADE IT INTO TREND.

probably you've known me for a long time and you've thought that you've deeply known who I am as well as my ups and downs and I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE because you made me who I am today. little do you know, I had did a lot of bad things to myself including suicidal ideation (oops, im so sorry if you're triggered). and those bad things led me to find professional helps in various types. besides the breathing techniques, this inner-child therapy really worked for me till this day.

mmmm, so.. this is me sharing my year-end thoughts as I had a convo with my younger version-- which I hope that you'll find it fruitful for you.

mini-me: "are we living the dream to be a basketball player?" me rn: "we had to quit for the better one."

mini-me: "a happy family?" me rn: "dad passed away years ago yet we are a family full of laughters and tears together. a stronger family. oh yea, even we started a family just a year ago.."

mini-me: "definitely with a handsome man, isn't he?" me rn: "haha, in our 20s, appearance doesn't matter at all. as we grow to be mentally mature, we found the one who is mentally mature as well. the one you've been looking for, I bet!"

mini-me: "how about mama and nisa and mail?" me rn: "they are still incredible, they raise us up <3"

mini-me: "do we still love food?" me rn: "HAHA NO DOUBT."

mini-me: "soo what do we do for a living?" me rn: "we do that one thing that we've always loved to do. and it made us totally shining. teaching!!"

mini-me: "NO WAY!! for real? an educator, for real?!" me rn: "yup!! FOR REAL. It started to feel like a lifestyle rathen than a job now"

mini-me: "are we happy?" me rn: "of course! we are the happiest on earth"

dear, myself. thank you for hanging there despite of the challenges, discouragements, and any kind of terrifying moments that you've been facing. thank you for showing up even though waking up from your bed was your biggest achievement. thank you for being faithful to The One and Only Who Has and Controls your life, knowing that He SWT will always got your back no matter what the situation you are in. thank you for believing in yourself when no one's doing it, even your closest ones. thank you for keeping yourself attached to your own joy and happiness in a world full of lies and tricks. thank you for staying true to yourself that it is okay to be not okay, to feel sad and to cry your heart out. thank you for pouring your heart into things that you love, to the ones you love and make you feel important. thank you for seeing the beauty in everything, shifting your negative mindset into the positive one and being content with every single thing that you have. thank you for choosing to not postpone your happiness with x-y-z achievements, because you know that happiness is within you and you are already happy on your own. thank you for giving yourself some rests, pauses, and moments of silence in order to be recharged and fulfilled. you are amazing, worthy of love, brave, beautiful, patient, free, and the most important thing that you are you and there's no one like you <3

Dec 22, 2022 ---in the middle of a heavy rain.