#I am just getting this off my mind so it won’t just sit n burden me I guess

[director-phobos]

I don’t wanna be clocked as the “I’m better than you disabled type” for saying this, so please don’t go there. But I feel like people do have a problem with getting way too comfortable in their misery over the years here and I hope people see what I mean one day. Back when I was miserable myself and didn’t have the resources I do now, I used to get angry at those who said I’m capable of “doing more” or related but after receiving the help I’ve needed I’ve come to realize its a kind of fucked how normalized its been in these spaces to just.. use specific experiences or illnesses as a scapegoat? For a lack of better words. I used to do it but again, it’s normalized here I guess.. we’re capable of so much more and I’m growing more and more tired of the “I’m x so I can’t do x” thing..

I’m diagnosed with various things, some expected some new, I’ve been through heaps of traumatizing both irl and online situations resulting in the cptsd, chronic depression, BPD, some sort of dissociative disorder etc all being treated. What gets me though, is I see people experience way more mild things that they end up intensely identify with and blaming it or a few bad experiences on every negative trait they have, and don’t try and change anything. A lot of the time leading to misdiagnosing themselves as well with something serious, and yeah, I get mad about it. I get that people don’t all experience things the same but the same awwrghwk729191

The more I see this sort of thing taken happen between mutuals/acquaintances etc after I provide my insight the more (unreasonably?) angry I get? Because in my mind I guess people should know better but at the same time they haven’t been “enlightened” like I have so to speak. I’ve helped a couple of people, but some are so, so stuck in the “I’m this so I can’t do that or be expected to” thing and I only see this mindset in people who are very stuck on social media. I do not see this in people who are more “offline” or focus more on projects/friends/etc who have been through a lot like I have as well.

And just like. Dude.

[CW experience dump of unpleasantness];

If I can go through 13ish years of back to back domestic violence, witnessing my parent trying to kill themself multiple times, being woken up to screaming at 1am almost every day for months at one point, see people get beat, get beaten myself, have someone try to run me/family over twice, have a sibling die, endure s/a and on top of that be sent through multiple manipulators online after thinking I was through it all; I’m sure others with more “mild” problems in comparison they’ve ever went through can pull out of the “I’m so constantly drained and I can’t do xyz thing,” like I have, with work. But they have to really want it, when I get angry is when I see someone perfectly capable of using those resources and they don’t, but instead sink more into the “I can’t to blah” mindset.

I guess yeah there’s no hiding that this is a direct nod towards something that happened to me/someone recently, but nothing would change even if I dumped my feelings which I’ve done way too much of and itd always amount to nothing sooo instead I’ll just dump about what I see it all relating to in online phenomena. I’ll never be satisfied with how a friendship fell apart because of [the everything], and I could explain my pov further but I don’t want to get anymore specific than I am + I’m all around very certain it all culminates to this sort of thing. Out of all the worries I have recently reflecting on this is the only upsetting thing I’ve really been through recently besides random works issues and I think this will plague me for a long, long time. Wegh

Ty for the like attention span of idk 3 peanuts of my 50-ish followers who would read this post 🏓

[wosoragebaiter69]

you’re ok, you’re enough

lena oberdorf x fem!reader

request: here

A/N: all feedback on my writing is appreciated, and hope you enjoy :) [even tho imo this is one of the worse fics i’ve written]

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I’m not a footballer by any means, but I do know the difference whether someone is just physically exhausted from training and games. And, when they’re also exhausted in other senses.

I can immediately feel the tension when Lena walks in, her muscles are tense and her lips are quipped tightly.

“Lena?” She stops her movements and looks at me inquisitively. “I’m ordering in, anything in mind?” She shrugs walking off, not saying a word. I need to get something out of her. Get her to talk to me. We can’t continue like this.

I end up ordering our shared favourite food and she comes back in from her shower. I look up and it looks like she’s been crying. I furrow my eyebrows in concern but she just shakes her head dismissing it.

The food arrives and I plate it before giving it to my girlfriend who’s sitting on the couch, lost in thought. She looks up and smiles slightly, taking the plate of food, starting to eat. That’s one good sign at least.

During the meal, I make sure to keep an eye on her. She can probably tell, I don’t care though. She needs to know she’s not alone. No matter how stubborn she can be.

Dinner is done, I put the plates in the dishwasher.

No matter what, I am going to make sure she tells me what’s going on. I can’t sit by and watch as she shuts down completely.

“Lena.” I say softly sitting next to her, placing my hand on her thigh. She stares at me with an unreadable expression.

“I’m not sure exactly what you’re going through right now, but please. Please tell me what’s going on. I can’t sit back and watch as you tear yourself up. I won’t do allow you to do this to yourself.” I see she has tears in her eyes. She bites her lip looking away shaking her head.

“Baby, you and I both know how this ends. I won’t watch you shut everyone out. I know you’re scared, I know you’re collapsing. But I will try my best ok?” I watch as her body starts to shake, a sign she’s going to breakdown. Immediately, I pull her into my chest and allow her to sob into my shirt. I whisper words of affirmation hoping that she believes me, or even hears me.

You’re enough.

You’re ok.

I’ve got you.

I love you.

I’m here for you.

You’ll be ok.

After around 15 minutes of her crying, while I try my best to comfort her in anyway I can, her breathing starts to even out as the crying slows down. Soon enough she pulls herself up and looks into my eyes. I wipe the remaining tears off of her face and wait for her to say something.

“I…” She starts to speak but stops. I don’t say anything, just waiting to see what will be said.

“The pressure.” She begins. “Usually, I’m ok with everything, I’m ok with different titles but recently things have gotten harder and harder and I just… I don’t know how long I can keep going. People keep saying I’m the next best but I don’t feel like it and I don’t want it. I just want to play football without all of this. It’s so tiring.” She says with a shaky breath as I give her a small smile.

“Lena, I can’t tell you I understand because I don’t. You have so many people here, so many friends. You may not feel like you’re one of the best and you don’t need to be. Just be you, forget about everyone else’s expectations. Ignore what they have to say as hard as it may seem. Talk to people who might understand, maybe they can help take the burden. Make it easier for you. I know everything is wearing you out. Take a break, no matter how small. Do something you love. Hang out with Jule, hang out with me I don’t mind. Just try, not to let yourself get this low again. Please.” I say tilting my head.

She nods, allowing the words to sink in fully.

“Now, how about we get you to bed? I can imagine you’re tired.” Lena nods and we walk into the bedroom, only heading for the bed.

Once we’re laid down and her head is on my chest I whisper.

“You know how much I love you, right?” I can feel her smile.

“Ich liebe dich auch.” Then we both succumb to the sleep that awaits us after such an exhausting day.

[wolfiihoney]

Quick blurb for my lovelies! Pls enjoy this quick poorly written piece <33 unedited btw srry hehe 💖

Higuruma wasn't easily bothered, but there were a few things that got under his skin, like loud noises, crowded stores, traffic, burnt toast, and more,

what really bothered him was the change in your sleeping routine.

Since meeting you, he had altered his work schedule to ensure the early start and end times, but lately, he'd noticed that you were waking up early, even earlier than him. You had several hours before your usual wake-up time, so why were you also rising with the sun?

This new habit was starting to concern Higuruma, and he knew he had to find out what was going on.

It was midnight, and you were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching a show but not truly paying attention to it. Sure, you loved the series, but your mind was preoccupied with intrusive thoughts. They had become more frequent lately, resurfacing after months of quiet. You yearned for the comfort of your gentle giant, but instead, you were left alone with your unchecked worries.

Higuruma, In your shared bed finally decided to talk to you after ten minutes of thinking about the matter. he walked into the living room to see you lost in thought,

“Love?” he said, his voice deep with sleep as he sat close to you on the couch, space didn’t exist to higuruma when it came to you.

You turned towards him wondering why he was out of bed.

“Hi baby, why are you awake? You have to leave in a couple of hours.” You said not wanting him to oversleep just because of yourself.

You snuggled into his side, feeling safe in his embrace. “Why haven’t you been coming to bed.” He was hoping he wasn’t the reason for your unhealthy sleep schedule.

“I couldn’t sleep,” you admitted, your voice soft.

Higuruma tightened his arms around you, his concern was evident in his tone. "Is everything alright y/n?”

His fingers gently grazed the skin beneath your eyes. “You look a little tired, love,” he said kissing the darkness under your eyes. You wanted to cry, he made you feel so safe.

“I mean I am a little tired but I can’t sleep, I’ve just been thinking so much,” you said becoming more embarrassed.

“I can’t stop, I keep guilting myself and beating myself up, I don’t know why I feel this way.” You said trying to hold back tears. Higuruma's heart clenched as he listened to your words, the pain and confusion you were feeling echoing through your voice. He pulled you even closer, wrapping you tightly in his arms.

"Hey, hey," he said, his voice gentle. He cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to meet his eyes.

"I wish you had told me earlier," he said, his own eyes filled with concern and love. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

“I know… I don’t know, I just didn’t want to burden you with me not knowing how to control my thoughts, I’m sorry.” You said looking down at your lap

“Why are you apologizing y/n? You could never burden me,” he said standing while picking you up, with his hands on your butt so you could face him.

“Okay,” he said with determination in his voice. “we’re going to bed, and if you can’t sleep tonight that’s okay, we’ll be up together and we can just sleep in later today.” He said entering the room and plopping you onto the big bed. “But we both have work.” You said.

“I’ll call Gojo and let him know you’re sick and can’t come into the school, he won’t believe me and he’ll probably think I’m trying to keep you all to myself which is true,”

He said with a deep chuckle. “and I have more than enough unused off days so I’ll be fine.”

He pulled you closer to him and squeezed you into a tight hug almost like he was trying to make you feel the undeniable love and devotion he has for you. “Get some rest, love. I’ll be here when you wake up.” He said kissing your forehead and then your lips. He now was determined to ease your mind.

Reblogs are definitely appreciated!

Xoxo

[dclover27]

Shut Up, Nerd

A/N: Okay, I was a little late, but I finally made it. This was way easier in middle school when I didn't care as much lol. Lmk what y'all think!

Summary: Reader has never had a party, so Spencer plans a surprise one.

TW: None

Words: 1.8K-ish

“You’ve seriously never had a party before?” Courtney exclaimed, a look of confusion on their face. Courtney and Y/N were sitting at a table in the cafeteria of the Smosh Office. Y/N giggled and rolled her eyes, a blush evident on her face. 

“I swear! Growing up, my family was really poor so we couldn’t afford to throw a party. We would usually just eat whatever dinner the birthday kid wanted,” Y/N explains. “I never felt left out or anything! We just celebrated differently, that’s all.” 

“That’s crazy!” Courtney draws out while Y/N stands up. “That just won’t do!” 

“I have to get back to work, but please don’t plan a party for me, I don’t want you to go out of your way or anything. I’m fine with just grabbing some takeout.” 

Y/N leaves Courtney behind to get back to work. As soon as Courtney can no longer see Y/N, they race across the studio to the Games Pod where Spencer is working. 

“SPENCER!” Courtney exclaims, rushing over to him. 

“What?? Jesus, you’d think the studio was on fire or something.” 

“I have the perfect way for you to impress Y/N!!” Courtney giggles with excitement. 

The crush Spencer had on Y/N was well-known around the studio. Well, to everyone but Y/N. He had made the mistake of telling Courtney about his feelings, who then decided that they were going to play matchmaker. Courtney, over the past few weeks, had been hatching many ideas of Spencer attempting to impress Y/N. Every time he got close, though, he either chickened out or his attempts went right over Y/N’s head. 

“What is it this time, Court?” Spencer sighed. At this point, it felt obvious to him that Y/N didn’t return his feelings. He didn’t want to seem too pushy and risk ruining his friendship with her. 

What nobody knew, however, was that Y/N was just as crazy about Spencer. She always reached out to him first if she wanted to talk to somebody. He was her first choice for anything; sending a meme, asking advice, general work talk, and even lightly gossiping. Spencer always had a listening ear, and that’s what Y/N valued the most. Of course, it also helped that he was wildly attractive, but that’s neither here nor there. 

“Y/N’s never had a birthday party before! If you throw her a party with a ton of things she loves, she’ll definitely know how you’re madly in love with her!” 

“Alright, hold on. I have some feelings for her, I am not ‘madly in love’ with her, yet. Second, does she even want a party? I don’t wanna overtake her day with a bunch of stuff we think she’d like, when the day should be all about her.” Spencer wasn’t sure exactly how he felt, he almost felt split directly down the middle. He felt that she deserved a day where everybody celebrates her, and gives back just as much as she does. However, at the same time, he felt as though she deserved to celebrate the way she wants to. 

“Well, she said that she’d be fine ordering takeout, but I feel like that was just so she didn’t feel like we were being burdened,” Courtney explained. Suddenly an idea came to their head, “Oh! What if we have the party, like, the day before her real birthday, just so she can have the actual day clear for whatever she wants to do?” Courtney left the idea with Spencer and walked back to the sound stage for their next shoot. 

Spencer was lost in thought thinking about party ideas, not noticing that Y/N had come up next to him. 

“You okay?” Y/N prodded. Spencer jumped and snapped his focus to her. 

“Yes, sorry, I was just lost in thought,” he chuckled, nervous that she was reading his mind. She didn’t look convinced. 

“Are you sure? You looked like you were in some kind of trance...” she trailed off, hoping he’d tell her what was going on. 

“I promise,” He seemed much more convincing, “You’d be the first one to know if something was wrong, I tell you everything!” 

Spencer felt like he was lying to her, even though he technically wasn’t. He just wasn’t telling her everything. He turned back towards his laptop and tried to focus on work instead. She seemed satisfied with his answer, so she sat down in a beanbag chair near his desk and scrolled on her phone for a bit. 

“Hey, do you wanna come over on Saturday? I feel like having a movie night,” She asked him. All Y/N wanted to do for her birthday was spend time with Spencer. She loved all her friends equally, but Spencer was her favorite. 

“For your birthday?” Spencer turned away from his screen to ask. Y/N blushed lightly. 

“You remembered that?” 

“Of course I remember, dork. Is that what you want to do for your birthday?” 

“Do you think it’s weird if I don’t have a party?” Y/N felt shy. 

“No! It’s your birthday, you should be able to spend it however you want to,” Spencer told her, truthfully, while looking deep into her eyes. He could get lost in her beautiful eyes. Sometimes on particularly hard nights, he found comfort in imagining looking into her eyes. 

“Thank you, Spencer. I wanna have a party, I just also want to have a chill time with some friends too, y’know?” 

“I get that completely,” Spencer started to turn back to his computer again, feeling better about planning her a surprise party. 

Three days passed extremely quickly, and soon Spencer was setting up the last of the decorations for Y/N’s party. He decided to have the party at Courtney and Shayne’s and disguise it as a movie night, which was technically not a lie as there were movies playing. He had a bunch of her favorite movies all queued up and set at a low volume, her favorite foods and snacks ordered, and her favorite songs were ready to be played. All that was left was her favorite people. Everybody at Smosh was invited, both cast and crew, and mostly everybody had made it. Spencer had finally put the finishing touches on the party when he heard his name being called 

“Spencer!” Courtney exclaimed. They jogged toward Spencer through the crowd of people. “Y/N’s on her way, she just texted me, so we have, like, ten minutes before she gets here” 

Spencer nodded and turned away trying to get to higher ground so everyone could hear him. He waited about five minutes before making the announcement, “Hey! Y/N’s getting here in five minutes so everyone find a place to hide!” 

The Smosh family scrambled around for hiding spots and Spencer turned out the lights. There was a timid knock on the door, and Spencer went to answer it.  

“Hey!” Spencer greeted, fiddling with his jacket and obviously nervous. 

“Hey. Is everything okay, Spencer? Why is it so dark in there?” Y/N giggled, anxiously, wondering if she was missing something. 

“Everything’s fine, come in!” Spencer managed to regain his confidence. 

As soon as Y/N stepped through the door, the lights flipped on and a loud “SURPRISE!!” rang throughout the house. Y/N couldn’t stop the grin on her face from breaking out. This explained why Spencer was so nervous all week. 

“Oh my God, guys, this is incredible!” She gushed. This was truly one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for her. The music kicked on, and everyone gave greetings and pulled Y/N in different directions. She managed to make eye contact with Spencer from across the room. She mouthed “thank you,” and he smiled and nodded. She turned back to the party, as Angela and Chanse pulled her out to the dance circle that had formed in the backyard. 

As the party raged on, Y/N began to feel a bit overwhelmed and managed to find a quiet spot with no one around. She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding as she sat down. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be enjoying your party? Courtney and I put a lot of work into it,” Spencer ribbed as he came to sit next to her. 

“This really is incredible Spencer; I don’t even begin to know how to thank you. And Courtney.” 

“It was nothing, Y/N. You deserved a party,” Spencer bumped her shoulder with his. 

“Spencer?” 

“What’s up?” 

“Why did you do all of this for me?” Y/N was attempting to look into his eyes, but Spencer stayed looking forward. 

“Obviously because I love to party.” Spencer jokingly rolled his eyes. Spencer hated parties; he just loved his friends who loved parties. She lightly smacked his arm and clicked her tongue. Spencer chuckled and a silence overtook them. 

“Truthfully?” Spencer still refused to look at her. 

“Of course, truthfully.” 

Spencer took a deep breath. “I think you are, truly, one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met. You deserve to have the nicest things, and the nicest friends. You deserve to have a day where everyone celebrates you, because you spend so much time celebrating everyone else. 

“I think about you all the time. You’re funny, smart, beautiful, and so kind. Every time that I go home after I hang out with you, I’m just thinking about how much I can’t want to see you again. You take up all the memory space in my brain. I have real feelings for you, and every day it feels like I fall a little deeper.” Spencer let out a sigh of relief after pouring his heart out. 

Y/N was stunned to silence. She had no idea he felt the same way. 

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I’m not going to ruin our friendship over some-” Spencer was interrupted by Y/N’s lips crashing against his. She had both her hands on either side of his face and was pulling him in as close as he could get. The surprise faded and Spencer quickly kissed her back. He slowly snaked his arms around her waist and scooted his body even closer to hers. They pulled away when they ran out of breath. 

“Sorry, I should’ve asked first, that wasn’t cool.” 

“Y/N, I’ve been dreaming about doing that for months. It’s cool,” Spencer explained, with heaving breaths. He pulled her back in for a, much softer, long kiss. The kiss was slower, but somehow more passionate. His arms looped around Y/N’s waist to hug her as close as possible. 

They pulled away and stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. Y/N sighed happily and placed her head on his chest. Spencer kissed the top of her head, softly. 

“Happy birthday, honey,” Spencer hugged her a little tighter. 

“Actually my birthday is tomorrow...” 

“Shut up, Nerd.” 

[perfectly-imperfect82]

Security!

I was sneaking my way through the hallways, making sure to not be seen by security but also make it seem like I was suppose to be here.

I saw a sign that said field, bingo. That is where the team must be or going to be.

I quickly made my way to the tunnel and looked out on the field.

I saw the team by the benches and I felt my heart pick up at what I was about to do, who I was about to meet.

I slowly made my way over the bench, which it surprisingly took a long time for anyone to notice me.

"Who are you?" Ash asked once she saw you

"I'm (y/n)" I said as I continued my way over to them

"And what are you doing here?" Ash asked confused as the team was now all staring at me. I however was looking for one particular person. When I saw her, she looked shocked and fearful.

"I came to talk to Alex" I said still looking at Alex.

"I don't know you" Alex said finally saying something

"I just want to talk" i said keeping myself calm at all the looks I was getting.

"I think you need to leave kid, before we call security" Ash said moving closer to Alex in a protective manner while Alex just continue to stare at me

"I think you would much rather come and talk to me, then have me share what I know about you" I said with a smirk as I watched Alex panic since she knew who I was

"Are you blackmailing her?" Kelley asked angrily as I just nodded

"She is just a kid. There is no way she could actually know something about Alex that we already don't know" Allie said looking at me skeptically which only made my smirk grow. People always underestimate kids.

"Are you sure about that? I mean I may be only 13 years, but I would say this is a pretty juicy story" I said look right at Alex who was moving towards me. She looked pale and nervous which alone made me happier.

"I thought you would change your mind" I said as I turned to walk away as I heard "Alex, are you okay" but I new she was following me.

I made my way across the stadium and took a seat and watched as she followed me and took a seat next to me.

"So I'm guessing you realized who I am. I mean your parents still ask for a picture every year. I assumed you have seen at least one" I said continuing

"What do you want?" Alex asked with an a confused face

"Just to meet you in person" I said speaking honestly

"I don't believe you. You won't come here and sneak into a stadium. Then blackmail me to just meet me" Alex said not with an irrated look causing me to smile.

I mean she isn't completely wrong but most of it had been to meet her. To see what she is like in real life.

"No, it's pretty much just that"

"I still don't believe you" she said

"What? afraid I'm going to tell the world that the Alex Morgan had a baby as a teenager and gave her up for adoption to peruse soccer. Dont you think if I was going to that, I would have by now? Plus I would never actually tell anyone that your my birth mom. That would put to much attention and be a burden on me" I said causing her to glare but I honestly didn't mind. She seems way nicer on tv and social media

"In that case. SECURITY!" She yelled causing my eyes to widen in shock. I was not expecting that.

I looked over and saw two security guards running my way so I took off running towards the exit. However due to my condition and not being able to work out, I was slower than normal and the were able to catch me.

The tackled me to the ground. They forced me the ground held me there.

I started to panic as i new I shouldn't be flat on the ground. I felt my chest start to tighten and the lightheadness and dizziness start to kick in after a minute.

"Sit me up" I managed to get out but I was ignored. Paying attention to what was around me was getting more difficult as the discomfort grew in my chest.

That's when I heard it though, my mom

"Get off her, your hurting her" my mom yelled

"Get of the kid, now" I heard a male say and instantly the security guards were off me

The next thing I knew I was pulled up into the sitting position and met the worried eyes of my mom as she looked me over. The discomfort and dizziness was going away quickly now that I was sitting up

"I'm okay, I promise" I said looking at my mom as she started to calm down

That's when I noticed the team was surround us and looking at me with curiosity

"Do you want her to check out by our trainer?" Vlakto asked looking at me mom, he must know. Of course he knows, how else would mom manage to get in without telling him

"No" I answered while my mom said "yes" causing me to glare at her which she returned

"I just want to leave, it wasn't what I thought it would be" I said moving my eyes to Alex so she could get the message. I watched her her eyes soften as she saw Alex

"Once I know your are okay for tomorrow" she said giving me a sad smile and I gave up. Knowing it would make her feel better.

I stood up with my moms help and we followed Vlakto to the training room were we watched him talk to the trainer before he called me over.

"I'm guessing you've done this before?" The trainer asked point to the heart monitor machine and I just nodded and took off my shirt, leaving me in a sports bra for him to attach everything.

"If it's okay with you, I would like to talk to you privately" Vlakto said to my mom who then looked at me hesitantly.

"Go, I'll be fine" I said giving her a smile and with that they left.

Just as the trainer finished attaching everything, a group of the team walked in causing me to roll my eyes

"Well for sneaking in to meet us, you don't look so happy to see us" Emily said taking a seat in front of me

"I didn't come to see all of you, I came to see one person. I met her and now I'm good" I said glaring at her and I felt a glare back and saw Kelley standing behind her glaring at me

"Why are you attached to these? We don't usually do this when a fan gets tackled by security or anything?" Mal said looking at me confused.

"Nothing for you to be concern with" I said and pulled out my phone and did my best to ignored them.

They didn't leave which made me uncomfortable.

When the trainer was happy with results and took my blood pressure he told me I was good. I quickly threw on my sweatshirt and looked at that team who was blocking my path.

"Are you sure your okay?" Lindsey say looking at me with concern once the trainer left

"Yes, I'm fine"

"No, like your overall health" Lindsey said causing me to look at her shock. That is not a question most people would ask

"And you call me rude" Emily said before turning back to me

"But are you?" She continued as i then turned my shocked express to her

I went to move towards the door, ignoring them and just wanting to leave.

That's when I saw Kelley blocking the door.

"Can you move? I would like to leave now" I said giving an annoyed look.

"I just want to talk" Kelley said as she looked to the other to leave, which they did to my surprise

"What do you want?" I asked

"I know who you are" Kelley said

"Good for you. Now I want to go to my mom and leave" I said

"I'll let you go in a second. Just answer this questions. What is wrong with your health?" She said and I saw her expression change of the angry to concern which confused me

I gave in "No, I have a heart tumor. I'm having surgery on it tomorrow and found out you guys where here. That's why I came. I wanted to met Alex once, just incase" I said looking away from her as she just looked at me with shock and sadness

"Can I go now?" I asked still not looking at her

I saw her move and I headed out the door

"Just so you know, she isn't normally like that. You just surprised her and it scared her. Also, she may not know you, but she has always loved you and wanted you to have the best in life" Kelley said causing me to stop for a second.

I felt tears come to my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away before continuing on my way out to find my my mom. The person I wanted to spent the rest of my time with before surgery.

[lilcatdraws]

Just The Way You Are

Ledger!Joker x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Ledger Joker paired with a reader self conscious about their weight/body

Author’s Note: My first self shipping fic! I’ve never written anything like this before so I hope I did a good job. This subject is something I’ve struggled with for years and I’ve never seen it written about with J before so I thought I’d give it a go for all those struggling with the same thing. You are loved and you are beautiful. Enjoy! <3

As you got out of the shower, you inevitably saw yourself in the mirror and sighed. You hated your wide protruding body. The words fat and ugly echoed through your head. You hated yourself for allowing yourself to get so big. At least, in your mind, you were big. None of your friends saw you that way. You always thought they were lying.

You tried everything to change your eating habits and exercise but nothing worked. Eventually you just gave up. It was an endless cycle of self hate and disappointment.

You never talked to J about this. He knew you were self conscious about your body but he didn’t know its extent. He would flip out if he ever knew. You didn’t want him to worry so you kept it a secret. 

You weren’t expecting J to come home for another few days so you felt in the clear to sit on the bathroom floor, wrapped in a towel, and cry. You had been doing this for years. Anytime you caught sight of yourself and the negative thoughts became too overwhelming, you fell apart and sobbed for what seemed like hours.

You were so deep into your thoughts that you didn’t hear the sound of your apartment window open and close. 

J walked into the bedroom and took off his purple coat and his shoes. His plans had gone extremely well so he was able to come home early. He’d been craving some alone time with his bunny.

“Y/n? Ya here?” 

J saw the bathroom light stream into the dark bedroom from under the door. He guessed you must’ve been in there. He was about to turn the doorknob but stopped when he heard crying. He hated to hear his bunny cry but he didn’t want to rush in because that might make it worse. 

He waited a few moments and then turned the doorknob, opening the door slowly. 

“Y/n, I’m home.” He said softly.

You jumped a mile. 

“J! I wasn’t expecting you back so early.” You said cheerfully as you quickly wiped your eyes and threw on a shirt.

“Don’t try and play it off, doll. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, J. I’m fine.”

“I know when you’re lying. Why won’t ya tell me? I’m not gonna get upset.” 

You buried your face in your arms. You wanted to tell him but you didn’t want to burden him.

J sat down beside you and waited patiently for you to answer.

You broke down. 

“I just…I hate how fat I am!” You shouted.

J looked shocked.

“You’re not fat, y/n. You’re perfect.” 

“Oh come on, J. You don’t have to lie to me. I can take it. I’ve been fat my whole life.”

“But you’re not. You’re stunning.” 

You sniffled. “No. I’m fat and ugly. I’m overweight and unhealthy. I’m a troll.”

“No. You listen here, y/n, you’re not a troll. You are beautiful. How can you not see what I see?”

“I’ve had people tell me otherwise since I was a kid. It’s not like you would understand. I mean look at you. You’re gorgeous.” 

J shook his head.

“Look at my face, bunny. People don’t like my looks either. That’s cause most people are quick to judge. Don’t listen to them. They’re stupid. Society has unrealistic beauty standards anyway. You are beautiful just the way you are. If you’re that concerned about your health, then I’ll help. We can diet and workout together. All ya had to do was ask.”

You were speechless. Nobody had ever been this understanding about your weight. Nobody had ever offered to help you either. Your sniffles quickly turned into happy tears. 

“Aw, bunny. Don’t cry. C’mere.” 

J wrapped his arms around you and you clung to his chest. He kissed the top of your head and you smiled brightly. You had missed his kisses. J scooped you up and carried you over to the bed. You nestled into the blankets. J soon followed you into bed and rested his head on your shoulder. 

“You’re gorgeous. Don’t forget that.” He whispered softly.

[wh0iskyra0]

INTROVERTED

GHOST X READER

Warnings- death

Word count- 1.1k

A/N- this story is inspired by the song up top, if you watch the music video then you should understand why I did what I did by the end, enjoy the book

“I don’t hate you. . . Just need some time alone”

.

.

.

When training with Ghost I feel like that’s some type…tension that needed to be lifted.

“Ghost, do you hate me?” I asked as I wiped the sweat off my face, he looked at me then went back to packing his things to leave, I packed my things as well ‘that was so dumb to ask’ I thought to myself

I walked out the training area as fast as I could. My thoughts were becoming more and more intense as I thought about what I said to him.

I rolled over to look at the clock beside my bed it was 2:21 AM, “it’s so early” I said to myself I sat up and looked over at my door there was a piece of paper, I picked it up and read it

“I don’t hate you just was confused about the question”

“Am I a burden” I asked to myself going back to my bed and sitting down I shook my head. Maybe he actually just felt bad. . . For 2 months of us training.

The next day

I looked over at the clock it’s 10:54 AM, I have a training session with ghost in three hours, I know he doesn’t hate me but the tension between me and him has been really strong

I got up to take a shower and put on my training outfit for today, why won’t he just tell me how he feels, I can see it in his eyes he just won’t say anything about it. I can never make eye contact with him but I can see right through his lies. . .

2 hours later

I have an hour left I should just get there early I walked to the training center and began stretching, the hour passed by like the speed of light I heard the door open l looked over at the door to see ghost

“Hey [Name]” ghost said putting his stuff down, I waved at him with a smile ‘why don’t you just tell me how you feel’ I said in my head, as we trained I began to get nervous.

After our training session I was so determined. It's concerning,why do I feel the things I do for him…

I went over to him, I tried to speak my mind but my mind was deep in thought “Oi [name] you good?” He said putting a hand on my shoulder, I froze. . .

“I’m sorry I can’t stay. . .” I said walking to the door

•

•

“I’d rather be at home”

2 months later

[Ghost’s pov]

I haven’t seen [name] in two months, I walked to their room door and knocked. . . Nothing I knocked again no response

“Hey ghost, what are you doing at [Names] door?” Soap asked me with a confused expression “I’m looking for y/n” I said turning to him he walked towards me “you need to wake up, they're gone.” He said placing a hand on my shoulder

Then I remember

.

.

.

[1 year ago]

“[NAME]!?” I yelled out “[NAME]!?” I said one more time I looked around for them “Soap, have you seen or heard from [name]” I said through the walkie talkie that was on my shoulder “No I haven’t” he said back

I began to get worried, “hey [name] is fine they’re strong, we’ll find them” soap said through the walkie talkie after he said that I began to calm down a little ‘I can’t lose [Name]… I didn’t tell them how I feel I’ve been distant with them because of my feelings for them

[At base]

“Did they find them?” I said while pacing back and forth, price and soap looked at each other “ghost you should really go la-” I looked over at soap with a death stare he stop talking and sat back down

[2 hours later]

‘It’s been to fucking hours, where the fuck are you [name]’ I said in my head, I sat up on my bed and looked over at soap and price, then the empty bed. . .

[with [name]

“Come, just fucking tell us where your team is located and we’ll let you go” the guy said pulling my hair “I’m not telling you shit” I said spitting in his face, he let go and punched me I spat out some blood, I laid my head back “no no no, come on just tell me where they are and you’ll get out… safer than now” he said with a gun to my head he then pulled it away “you know what how about I just send a video to your dear old captain?” He said while going to get a camera

After he set it up he walked back over to me with the gun and a knife, by the last minute of the video I was covered in cuts and bruises, he sent the to video to price and walked over to me “Now we wait” he said tapping the gun on the side of my head I turned my head

A few minutes later, he came back “looks like your captain responded” he said pulling my hair and showing me the response he let go of my hair and walked back to the camera stand he pressed the record button and walked over to me, this time with only the gun

“Since you gave me what I wanted I’ll give you what you want” he looked down at me and back at the camera

By the end of this video I had multiple gun wounds in my legs “They're getting quite . . . Boring” he said tapping the gun on my head he grabbed my hand as if I was saying goodbye, I couldn’t scream I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything

.

.

.

.

He shot me…

[Ghost’s pov]

I watched the video “who the fuck is that, we killed all of them?!” I said punching a near wall, “ghost hey calm down” soap said walking over to me “DONT TELL ME TO FUNCKING CALM DOWN SOAP” I said looking at him

We heard a ping from price’s phone “I’m not watching it” I said walking away to the bed soap and price scroll through the video until they got to the end

“They're getting quite . . . Boring” I heard the video say I sat up and looked at them. . . Then . . . BANG I heard a gunshot. Price and soap looked away from the device I walked over to them ,I heard another gunshot then another “no…” I grabbed the phone “no…no…NO” I yelled throwing the device on the table ‘they were all I loved, I didn’t tell them, I couldn’t tell them they’re now dead.’ I said in my head

“I don’t hate you

Just need some time

Alone, they’re calling me back to earth

like I’m an astronaut. . .”

[saintmurd0ck]

RHI!!! A million congrats on 2.5k, I can't think of anyone who deserves it more 🥰 and so glad you're back and feeling ok! For the train, I'd loveee to take a trip to 86th st with Mikey Kinsella and “please, for the love of god, shut up for once.” “why don’t you come over here and make me?” i think the way you write it would be SO gorgeous and interesting ���️ and also because im a slut, i just know id LOSE it over a stop at Heuston Station with Fratt x reader and ❛ you want gentle? wrong fucking address. ❜ Anyways I'm so so excited to read everything you do for this event 🥰 congrats again!!

all fired up

join my sleepover | main masterlist

pairing: michael kinsella x reader

warnings: amanda slander, a tiny bit of spice (minors DNI), aggressive michael / reader, yes we're a little mean but dont worry he gets the upper hand ;)

a/n: christie my gorgeous, thank you so so so much for dropping in 🥺 i hope you like this one, and i am gonna post the fratt request in a separate ask >:) btw i am amending the prompts to better fit the characters i am writing for, so i hope you dont mind xoxo

Michael’s silent rage simmers in your periphery as he leans against the wall like a fallen angel, gritting his teeth, letting his chest rise and fall in short, controlled bursts. Everything in the room is setting him off: the clicking of your pen, the faint hum of the air-conditioner, and the distant noise of traffic from the main road. 

Unfortunately for him, you’re far from caring today; not when you’ve scraped together the business proposal of a lifetime. One that could easily retire you in the blink of an eye.

You’ve worked your ass off to coordinate this, so isn’t it only fair that Michael, being the other major stakeholder in this business, quits his grumbling? It’s as if he can’t — or won’t — comprehend what this means if this works out. If you negotiate your way through this successfully, with Michael there or not, the Kinsellas land on top. They’ll control Dublin, and possibly the whole of Ireland, with opportunities to plant roots and spread vines across all the major networks in Europe. And as you’re the only decision maker not married to — or even fucking — anyone in the family, you’ve had to prove your worth, a thousand times more so. Simply being Michael’s closest friend and confidante didn’t sit well with the others, but you’ve made yourself far more capable than anyone in this business. 

And this deal will cement you into the Kinsella hall of fame. 

You cut a glance to where he’s standing, a momentary pang of empathy softening your expression. He’s exhausted from today, and it isn’t just the circles under his eyes that demonstrate it. You know his tells better than anyone; in fact, you know him so well that just by judging his body language, you can deduce who he’s been with, what he’s been up to, and what he tries hard to conceal. Right now, and at your disdain, you can see Amanda written all over him. It’s obvious in the way he’s carrying himself, with his chin pointed downwards, the tension almost shrugging his shoulders. Even his skin gives it away, from the warmth in his cheeks to the flush at the tips of his ears. 

“Let me guess,” you sigh, breaking the silence, “Amanda thinks you’re not doin’ a good enough job, and you shouldn’t be workin’ with me?” Saying her name is enough to set you off, but you do your best to diffuse the situation, to bring Michael back to the present. 

His eyes flick to yours at the mention of her name, and you grimace inwards at the sharp stab to your gut. “Somethin’ like tha’.”

It confirms what you suspected; that he and Amanda had met up today, for purposes you try not to burden yourself with. It isn’t your business what they get up to, or how many times you notice her silhouette beyond the frosted glass of his front door. 5 times this week, and it’s only Wednesday, you think, chewing on your lip. 

Unease courses through your veins, and so you go to do what’s natural, and sweep the thoughts under the proverbial rug in your mind. You gesture at the mountain of paperwork in front of you. “Are you gonna help me, Michael?”

His only response is a delicate muscle feathering in his jaw, and for some reason, it sends a lick of angry heat up your spine. The deadline to the deal looms in front of you like a ticking time-bomb, and all he can do is stay silent, and God forbid, mope about Amanda?

Your mouth thins as you take a moment to decide if you want to add to his anguish. To deliver an insult worthy of his attention. There’s a rush that flows through you, a sick kind of satisfaction, that tug the corners of your mouth upwards. If it were Eric, or Jimmy, or even Amanda, he would’ve lost his shit by now. He’d probably have stormed out and sulked home, making sure his gun was accessible from beneath his jacket at all times. His heart would thunder in his ears, itching for a fight with some unfortunate soul who’d then be promptly taken out by none other than the Magician. 

Your voice rings out across the room, coming out more confident than you’d played out in your head. “She refuse to blow you today or what?” 

Michael’s brows furrow together. “What did you say?”

“I asked you something, Michael. Are you pissed because Amanda didn’t open her legs for you?”

His mouth twists into a sneer. “I’d stop talkin’ if I were you.”

But you return his glare, your blood thrumming with challenge. “Actually, I commend her for doin’ that. ‘Cause I wouldn’t want to fuck someone so miserable either.”

He’s in front of you in a couple of strides, seething cold fury as his voice drops an octave. When he talks, his breath fans your face. “I said stop fuckin’ talkin’.”

You swallow, feeling your chest heave as some unchecked part of you — the part that’s scared of no-one — takes over. “Or what?” You pout, cocking your head to the side. “Are you gonna run back to Amanda and tell her how mean I’ve been to you?” 

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up,” he spits, grabbing you by the collar, shoving you until the back of your thighs press up against the desk.

Your retort comes out just before he lowers his mouth to yours. Just before he wedges his thick hand between your legs. “Why don’t you make me?”

[harghoes]

You’re so far away, how am I supposed to love you?

pairing: John ‘Soap’ MacTavish x gn!reader

warnings: none, other than my attempt at angst agaib

a/n: if this is bad let me know and i’m deleting it haha jk… or am i?

not my gif

The struggle of being separated is a burden not many carry. Those that do carry it, hold the weight of their world on their shoulders. Both you and John hold that weight. When you’re together, it’s amazing. It’s the best, easiest, most loving relationship ever. And yet, when he’s away on missions, it’s like your hearts are being ripped apart.

John means the world to you. He really does. But, with him constantly being gone, you’re constantly lonely. He promises to send messages when he can, but the field is so busy and you don’t want him to become distracted. You knew what you were signing up for getting involved with him.

When you first met, he told you what it meant to be with him. The empty house, the late night calls (if he can even get a call), and the hardships it would bring. You thought you were strong enough to overcome it. After so long, being alone starts to take a toll on a relationship.

Sitting at a table for one, you’re a few drinks deep. This bar knew you well, considering it’s where your boyfriend and you frequent when he’s home. Just thinking about him brings tears to your eyes, missing him with every fiber of your being. Multiple men have tried to chat you up while you’re mopping, but you just flash your promise ring at them and they thankfully understand what’s happening. You’re not looking for a quick fix, you just want your Johnny back home with you.

Speaking of home, you get up from the table after paying your bill. Looks like you’re taking yourself home again, not like it’s any different than any other month. Once you take a step through the threshold of your shared (is it really shared if he’s rarely here?) home, you stop to take a breath. You decide to get ready for bed considering you still have work the next morning. Staring at his side of the bed, you reluctantly drag yourself to your side. Setting your alarm, sleep comes easily enough.

You wake up at 2am. You had gone to bed just a few hours earlier, so the confusion on your face is evident until you notice why you woke up. Your phone is buzzing on the nightstand, with Johnny’s face lighting up the screen. You let out a sigh as tears prick your eyes before you turn over and try to fall back asleep. Eventually, the buzzing stops and you fade back to unconsciousness.

Waking up to your alarm this time, you roll over to turn it off. You check your phone and see three missed calls from Johnny. You try to call him, but are sent to voicemail.

Your sleep ridden voice is rough as you speak, “Hey, Johnny. I’m sorry I didn’t answer, I didn’t hear my phone. Listen, I’m late to get to work.”

Tears slowly fill your eyes as you lie to him. You realize the time has disappeared as you decide to hell with it, you’ll fill him in on something he missed.

“My best friend just got engaged. I think I…” taking a deep breath, you continue with the voicemail, “I think I need to make a change. It’s hard to wait now. It’s so hard being lonely, Johnny.” A hiccuped sob is heard before you’re apologizing, and hanging up the phone. Who knew it would be this hard?

When Johnny heard the voicemail, he felt his heart crumble. He knew this would happen, it’s why he never had a solid relationship with anyone. The creeping fear that you would leave him has captured his heart and mind, and now he’s panicking. Staring at his phone, he sees your face looking back at him. And he swears he hears your voice say, “Don’t worry, you won’t be lonely, Johnny!”

Looking away from his phone, he presses his cheek against the glass. All he can do is hope that you two will be good, at least until he gets back. Once he’s back, he’ll be able to fix things. Closing his eyes, he can almost imagine that he’s with you. You’re cleaning up the house while he’s cooking. The smell of warm food and the sound of your beautiful laughter almost lulls him to sleep before a hand on his shoulder is jerking him awake.

Simon is nodding to him, as his rough voice is heard.

“We’re about to land, Johnny.”

He doesn’t know, but you have been doing the same thing. Closing your eyes and imagining you’re back with him. Walking the small shopping centers, playing in snow, pushing him into a leaf pile. Anything where you two can be together, you’re imagining it. Opening your eyes, you are forced back to the reality of the situation; Johnny in some country and you at your job.

Sending him a text, you put his notifications on Do Not Disturb. It hurts too much to get any news from him during the day. Johnny doesn’t receive your text until long after it was sent. When he reads it, he almost falls to his knees. It’s the same thing he had been starting to think, but he would never have burdened you with it.

The simple, “Why won’t you love me?” stands out against the other texts. The ground disappears from under him, as he locks his phone to stare at your photo again. This time, he’s hearing you crying, asking him that question.

Switching your phone to airplane mode, you know that he’s probably read it by now. Sniffling at the thought, you try to go about your day. A couple of your coworkers noticed your puffy eyes, and you told them the short version of the story.

After your shift, you’re taking your phone off of airplane mode, thankful you don’t have any messages from anyone. You just want to go home, and sleep, hopefully for five years.

Entering your quiet house, you just drop all your items on the threshold. Feeling the weight of your predicament, your shoulders feel insanely tight. Rolling out your neck, you head right for the bedroom.

Waking up from your sleep, your phone is buzzing again. Turning over, you reach for it blindly, seeing the time is 2 in the morning again. It’s a response from Johnny.

‘It seems we’re together, all alone tonight.’

The bubble didn’t go away, indicating another text from him is supposed to be coming through.

‘I’m so helpless from this side, my love. Everyday, you feel a little bit further away. I’m sorry.’

Tears forming, you feel an ache in your chest. You’ve felt this before, it’s the ache of loneliness. Not responding, you set your phone back down and turn away from it. Hearing another ding from his message, you check it quickly.

‘I’m coming home. Mission is over. We can talk this out. I love you.’

Responding, you answer him with another question.

‘Why do we keep holding onto each other? Why? I don’t know if I can handle it anymore, Johnny. Are we just wasting time? I haven’t seen your face in ages, Johnny.’

He responds quickly this time.

‘I don’t know, my girl. Stupidity, love, whatever the reason, I will always love you. Everyday it gets harder to stay away from you. Just know and remember that.’

‘I love you too, John MacTavish.’

With that, you fall back asleep. And Johnny is awake on the other side of the world, with the pain of you sleeping alone.

This is as good as it’s going to get.

[saleeba]

payback ; jude bellingham

summary ♡ you're not happy with the little amount of attention your boyfriend is giving you so you decide to take matters into your own hands. jude shows you the consequences.

pairing ♡ jude bellingham x fem!reader 

content ♡ 18+, smut, bratty!reader, hard-dom!jude, blowjob, exhibitionism (???), some praise, light degradation (another rough bj sceneeeee i’m never beating the slag allegations 😓) 

a/n ♡ requested by this lovely anon ; i am SO glad i’ve finally got it out omg only took me 9 bloody months 😩😩 this is one of my lazier works only bc i needed to get smth out asapp before i start a new term at uni but i hope you all enjoy <33 (not proofread so pls forgive all the mistakes! 🫶🏽)

there’d been hubbub coming from jude’s office ever since you got home in haste with your work bag burdening your arms and a tingle between your legs, mind made up on getting jude into bed as quickly as you like and riding him beyond the sunrise. the noise had become increasingly common recently as you found him spending more and more of his free time in that same office, the calling of his name from your lips being replied to with rapid click-clacks of the game controller and bantering shouts down the headset instead of his signature yes, baby? nobody could blame you for being upset that he was essentially more interested in those damn games than he was in you, his girlfriend of multiple years. 

the throbbing between your legs is growing to be overbearing now, and you need your boyfriend badly — need his fingers to stop pressing those stupid buttons and press against the puffiness of your clit instead. desperation pulls you towards the office’s half-open door and then inside, where jude is sitting, his eyes laser-focused on the blaring screens before shouting a displeased fuck off! to no one in particular as the monitor displays a message of GAME OVER, headset thrown down to the desk in exasperated resignation.

“juuuude,” you step into the role of needy girlfriend as fast as he dons the headset again. “are you finished now?” you’re hoping he turns around to see your oscar-worthy performance of painting on a pout and bambi eyes but his eyes are still drawn into the graphics of guns and warzones in front of him and he doesn’t even spare a glance your way.

“juuuuude!”

“one minute, babe, just need to get this high score then i’m done.” he’s still not looking at you and you can tell you guys are barely in the same reality, his every sense preoccupied with this stupid game. there’s no way he’s going to be getting that done in one minute nor is he ending it there — you’d be lucky to see him exit the room after three hours, probably having played through 5 more rounds and hopped onto another game. he was being so annoying and unfortunately, it was doing nothing to douse the flames in your core. 

and so you decide to kick your plans up a notch. if he won’t listen to you, fine. but he would never ignore the feeling of your skin on his, would he?   

jude’s busy chatting about tactics and skins and what-not with the friends he’s playing with and you occupy yourself by letting your hands run over his ears from behind — removing those pesky headphones — then his shoulders then down to the toned expanse of his jumper-clad chest, keeping your touch tender and unassuming to start with, lips finding their way to the shell of his ear — right before they leave a teasing kiss that barely ghosts over his skin.

“i need you, jude,” you whine, an inspired streak of the ‘damsel in distress’ in your performance now. “please, baby.” your hands are running down more shamelessly, fiddling with the zip of his trousers whilst his fingers falter at the controls. 

“y/n…” he tentatively warns and the way he says your name tells you that messing with him right now will have dire consequences. whatever gets me cumming tonight, you think to yourself; the urgent necessity to have him between your legs is far more dire. jude dares to simply slip his headset back on and focus on the game in hand. 

stepping up your own game and feeling that little bit more daring, you push his gaming chair back, letting the wheels do their job as you tuck yourself in under the desk, a look of disapproval on jude’s face for you as the muffled sounds of voices come from under his ears give the glint of a cruel idea forming in your eyes.

“and what do you think you’re doing?!” jude hisses out as your fingers find a route back to that zip on his trousers, pulling it down and taking his cock out of his boxers faster than he can say anything else. 

“stop me if you want.” you smile cheekily, eyes still doe-ish and feigning concern, before tapping the dark tip of his dick on the slickness of your tongue, savouring the almost-instant way he hardens in your hands. the grip he has on the controller seems harder, veins nearly ready to burst when you dip his head into the gaping of your mouth. 

you take the absence of him arguing against this as an incentive to carry on, to wrap your lips further down his length and really drive the message home with a tightening of your cheeks once the tip reaches the access to your throat. 

“fuck, baby…” jude tries his hardest to let only whispers escape his lips but he forgets the fortune he spent on getting this high-quality, high-sensitivity headset as he’s met with worried questions from his mates, all asking if he’s okay and about what’s going on. his spluttering reply of “u-uh, oh, nothing, i’m fine” has you catching on to the fact if you were really feeling brave, his friends would be able to hear every sound that the both of you make. 

you distract him with the tiniest of kitten licks on his tip, small enough to keep him focused on his game but rapid and desperate enough for you to not hand over victory before your gameplan is finalised with its last stage…

you’d normally struggle to take him in all at once, his girth being almost always too much to handle, but there’s a fire lit inside you tonight and you feel like you could take on anything to cool yourself down, including having a go at deepthroating jude in one go — all of the sake of fucking with him in the presence of his friends. 

it’s difficult, you’re not surprised because you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his size, but you do make it in one sweep of your mouth, the muscles of your throat immediately constricting around the intrusion of his thickness, and jude nearly jumps out of his seat. the loudest groan you’ve ever heard him make escapes his lungs and he lets his fingers slip off the controller before that menacing GAME OVER lettering covers the screen. you can hear the jeering and taunting from his mates as he hastily takes off his headphones, the microphone attachment laying just centimetres above where you’re smirking up at your boyfriend, chest heaving and mouth gracelessly wet from the amount of spit it had to create to be able to form its attack on jude.

inquiries are coming from the headphones over jude and his whereabouts, the occasional “jude, you alright, bro?” filling the stand-off-ish atmosphere you’ve found yourself in as the man in question looms over you, now stood up before his hands clasp onto your head.

oh, you’re in for it now. 

“open. now.” he orders, not waiting for an answer as his tip slides past your lips the millisecond they part and you feel yourself instantly choking around his shaft when he pushes it all the damn way to the column of your throat. “this is what you wanted, right?” you hawk and splutter over the concrete-harshness of his cock as he begins his counterattack on you.

the twisted part is that you want to say yes, you have been wanting this. you’ve been thinking about the heftiness of his dick inside you — any which way, in any hole — since the morning, on your way to work, throughout work, on the way back. this is secretly your self-gifted reward for being so patient. 

“had to act up like a needy slut, didn’t ya? couldn’t even wait, could ya? always so fucking greedy, baby.” you’re whining your fake protests around the spearing movement of his cock, nails scratching at his thighs in an attempt to find some grounding, some sense of reality around you, trying so hard to not cum from the pussy-drenching harshness of jude’s words. 

“you wanted my mates to hear everything, didn’t you, sweetheart?” you weren’t exactly being quiet then so neither is he now; you wouldn't be shocked if his friends couldn’t look you both in the eyes next time you meet. “wanted them to hear how good you suck me off, how good you take me — wanna get them all jealous, huh?” 

you’re teary-eyed now, nose doing all the work in keeping oxygen flowing around your body, for you would’ve passed out from the constant ramming of thick, heavy cock inside your mouth and that combined with the white-hot words from jude’s lips? you fear it’s too much, legs spreading in their kneeled form, fingers reaching to soothe the pulsing of your clit. 

“don’t you fucking dare.” jude shuts that idea down quicker than it can come to life. “you don’t get to be a greedy girl and still have it your way, angel.” 

you don’t want to deal with the fact that you may be out of your depth right now, having unlocked a little bit of a darker side to jude. is it bad that you want it to invite it in and have it show itself to you in its full glory? 

jude slips himself out of the warmth of your spent mouth, your jaw doing its best to relax itself before he pats your cheek quite heavy-handedly. 

“c’mon, baby, remind me again of how you can be a good girl and maybe you can have it your way.”

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Platonic Relationships Masterlist

Canyon Chains (ao3) - Izzygrace07 OT4 G, 2k

Summary: Luke lets out a quick and trembling exhale, pulling his hands out of his pockets to shake away the nerves he feels gathering. "You got it," he mumbles, eyeing the cave like it's his worst enemy. "You got this. You're good."

Or, Luke panics during the filming of the Easier music video and discovers a newfound fear of small spaces and being tied up.

Forever is a long time, but I wouldn't mind spending it by your side (ao3) - lifeinecstasy OT4 T, 974

Summary: This is probably the most harmless, innocent thing I have ever written

It's nice for a change.. I hope

holding on (ao3) - citiesbelow michael/crystal, mentioned sierra/luke T, 1k

Summary: After their first headlining shows in years, the boys don’t want to split up to go to bed. This is just shameless fluff.

if life's a game of inches, how did you get miles away? (ao3) - acetominophen N/R, 2k

Summary: "I don't know, Mike." That was the absolute truth, too. He didn't know what was wrong. "I'm not doing good."

"I know." Michael responded. He was quiet— it was unusual. "Why don't you come sit out here with me and we will talk through it."

In Your Heart (ao3) - 1loulu5 T, 2k

Summary: Luke can’t see his face very well, but he can hear the small choke and the scratchiness in his voice when Calum asks once again in a terrified whisper, “Am I a girl, Luke?”

Or, Calum is under the understanding that liking "feminine" things means that he's a girl. Luke helps to dissolve that belief.

isn't it sobering? (ao3) - dilfapologist luke/ashton T, 1k

Summary: there is pain in solitary

four days. it had been four days since Luke last answered his calls or texts. ashton couldn't take it.

it's heaven in your arms (ao3) - toddamyanderson Luke/Calum G, 2k

Summary: “Cal,” he whispered.

“Mm?”

“Should you go back to bed now?”

He only grunted in response, snuggling more into Luke’s side, his hand coming up to rest on his stomach. “Don’t wanna. Comfy.” Luke smiled even wider, happy to be the center of Calum’s affection. It was nice to have someone to hold.

Just Know That It’s The Same For Me (ao3) - slashter michael/luke, calum/ashton, michael/harry E, 5k

Summary: Luke doesn't get what exactly happened between them at the dinner, replays the conversation over and over in her head but to no avail. She's stuck, completely lost, and, to top it all off, still so fucking in love with the one person who won't give her the fucking time of day.

It's absolute shit.

[Or the one where Luke is head over heels for Mikey but Mikey doesn't seem to feel the same way]

Keeping Us Together (ao3) - Strength_in_pain T, 91k

Summary: Twenty-two year old Ashton Irwin is the older brother and guardian of his three younger brothers: Michael, Calum, and Luke. He and his brothers are coping with the death of his parents. Ashton has too much responsibility with bills, work, keeping the house in order, and being a full time parent. His three brothers aren't making it easier for him. Ashton is struggling to keep his family together.

look at this godforsaken mess than you made me (ao3) - lifewasradical OT4, luke/calum, michael/ashton T, 12k

Summary: “I want us to talk about the idea of romantic soulmates again,” Ashton starts, threading his fingers together over his lap. “We’ve had a chance to get to know each other a little bit over texts and stuff during the winter, but I still think we need to make sure this is approached delicately.”

Michael scowls from his spot next to Ashton on the couch, crossing his arms defiantly. “Here we go again.”

maybe this is just as good as it gets (ao3) - bellawritess T, 2k

Summary: "Do you guys like me?"

For a minute there's no response. Then Calum, sounding moderately confused, says, "Are you talking to me?"

"Yeah," Luke says.

Me and My Selfish Appetite (ao3) - DearDevotedDelicate N/R, 2k

Summary: Luke doesn’t mean to push people away, it’s just what he does. He never wants to be a burden on his friends, never wants to intrude on anything. And he always regrets it, every time. It doesn’t matter who it is, and how he pushed them away, he always regrets it. It’s hard to push your friends away when you’re in a band, but Luke tries. Until Micheal stops him.

Puzzle Pieces (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) michael/calum T, 19k

Summary: Michael has wanted a soulmate ever since he first learned what the blue on the back of his mother's neck means. This is the story of how he gets three, and how he figures out what that means to him.

Sweater Weather (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) G, 1k

Summary: Michael spends Christmas Eve of 2012 with Calum, waking up late, playing video games, and opening a package.

Torn Up - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) T, 8k

Summary: Ashton can pretend all he wants, but Michael isn't an idiot; he knows when something's wrong.

you showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else (ao3) - lifewasradical OT4, luke/calum, michael/ashton T, 20k

Summary: “Well, the color we can see is red. Well, wait, is this the color you see?” Calum asks, holding out his phone to show Luke a list of basic colors. The only box that's anything but a shade of grey is marked red. Luke nods again, looking around to place more red objects.

“I’ve never heard of someone meeting their soulmate and not seeing all the colors at once,” Calum says, leaning back against his bed.

Or, you're supposed to see all the colors when you meet your soulmate. Calum and Luke only see red.

[anadiasmount]

distant feeling -- mason mount x reader.

back again bffr. wasnt sure but i kinda love?? feel free to send any request or feed back <;33

You layed on his chest, tracing small shapes on his chest, listening to his heartbeat after your recent activities. You looked back and thought of how you ended up here, tangled underneath the sheets naked. A simple argument about how you felt led here. 

“I’m sorry Mason, I'm sorry I can’t be that girl for you. You put so much pressure and high expectations on me. I was just trying to have fun, I deserve it after the week I had,” you yelled frustratedly. He scoffed and then chuckled, rubbing his fingers over his chin while licking his lips. “You deserve it? I had training all week, a game this afternoon, and you're ‘exhausted’ ” He tried to reason but failed. 

“Yes, I am! I’ve had to work with people I despise, get treated differently because I'm a woman, and try to maintain myself stable and earn money. So yes I deserved to go out with friends and let myself loosen up. It just happened you were there. Don’t blame it on me for your performance and loss today,” You spat back. This was getting you nowhere, but you couldn't help but feel a little sad and disappointed at his words. He knows how much you’ve sacrificed.

“I wasn't-” you cut him off laughing, “Oh shut it, yes you were! This whole evening, you forced me to come to your house, letting any negative comments come out”. He walked near you but you walked back trying to keep the distance, “If you have nothing better to say but talk bad then I'm leaving,” you stated preparing to leave grabbing your small clutch. 

You began to walk away when he stayed silent but felt chills when his strong, big, and warm hand wrapped around your wrist. Feeling his breath on the nape of your neck, as his hands traveled to your waist. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” you whispered, wanting to know what was on his mind. “Don’t go. I'm sorry, you're right I was trying to take my anger out, but you don’t deserve that. I’ve been in a mood since Sunday… and today’s result is making me into an asshole I know,” You sighed. This was a constant cycle with him, always trying to get you to forgive him after his words cause a burden inside you. 

“You can’t always do that Mase… I'm trying to understand you believe me, but it's every time. It's always me, not anyone else. Am I just a punchbag to you?” Your voice was shaky, trying to prevent the tears. “God no, you’re much more than that baby…” there he goes again calling you pet names when things between you weren’t serious. 

You’ve liked him, no loved him ever since you got to walk around with him on the pitch after the Champions League game. Since he helped you decorate your apartment in London. Since he offered and risked himself when you got the flu, getting your favorite snacks and soup from the small restaurant around the corner. 

But it's always hot and cold. He sometimes only came to you when it was convenient, making you realize deep down that maybe you weren't for him… Seeing how he went out with rather pretty models, maybe them only being with him for his money or name. That stuff never mattered to you. You only wanted him, but when he wasn't around it hurt you more. 

This was the first time you had seen him in over two weeks. He looked good, with a white Louis Vuitton button-up shirt and black pants. Nothing he was forced or made to wear. His hair was now growing, thankfully as you missed the longer middle-parted hair.  You were dancing with a drink in your hand, smiling as the alcohol slowly entered your system. 

When your friend pulled you aside you didn't picture it was true till you looked over and saw him. “Bestie, he won’t stop looking! This is your chance, Y/n,” she says trying to push you off but you shook your head. “I’ve had those ‘chances’ in the past. They succeeded nowhere, either him drunk or with a girl sitting on his lap. No way! Let’s forget about him and just dance!” You said, throwing your hands in the air cheering. 

To say the least, it hurt because two weeks ago you told yourself you’ll only talk to him when he comes to you, no more of the ‘how are you?’ or ‘sorry mase’. He hadn't once communicated with you and you missed him more than ever but he slowly showed his true colors. You swayed your hips, and to your surprise, a tall blonde gripped your hips. 

You turned over and wrapped your arms around his neck, laughing at his attempt at dancing, he pulled you closer but was pulled away by an angry Mason. The blond scoffed and left. You rolled your eyes and left before he could say anything to you. He didn’t say anything either followed you around till you got outside, you wanted to yell and scream but in public wasn't the ideal place. 

“I think I should go… You have training tomorrow-” he yells making you flinch. “Y/n I don’t care about training! Or anything to do with the team. I care about us. Trying to figure out how we can fix things. How have we haven't talked in two weeks? Me finding out you had a date with a guy I didn’t know about.”

“So this is what it is? You’re jealous.”

“Fucking hell I am! It should be me making you laugh, hold your hand while we walk at the park you like, visit Axel your favorite german shepherd at the vet you like. It should be me who you fall asleep next to, come to me when you’re feeling upset or down. I want to be that man Y/n,” he spins you around grabbing your cheeks and making you look to see his teary face.

He sighs shaking his head, “How can we fix things? I can now acknowledge I wasn’t the best friend but I love you, baby. This distance killed me, not being able to talk to you or hold you were doing it for me. I thought you wanted space from me, but then I found out that. And don’t even start, I know he was a douchebag to you, your friend Ella told me.”

You made a face, making a note to talk to her later. All you can think about is him saying ‘I love you. It brought butterflies to your stomach, after so long it felt good and unreal for him to say that. “It pained me too, but my overthinking took place. I thought you didn't want me around anymore. Your replies were dry and small. You rarely called or texted me and when I did, you couldn’t answer,” Your voice was small and hoarse. 

“I was scared before, scared you wouldn't like me… or didn't think I was enough for you. What most scared me was how I started to feel around you. I was afraid of the thought of losing you one day because of me, hell I almost did. But now I'm sure, and I want you. To come out and support me like before, make Summer laugh, cook those ridiculously good red velvet cookies, or hold me, kiss my head as you do,” he confesses. 

You were stunned, unable to form words, so you reached over grabbed his face, and pulled your lips in together. He groans at the feeling, wrapping his arms around you. His tongue slowly grazed your bottom lip, begging but silently asking you to open your mouth to see what you’d taste like. 

You pulled back, still resting your hands on his shoulders, “I’d think I would love that. If it means being with you or close to you then absolutely. I love you too Mason, ever since you called me silly for not like ketchup with eggs,” you teased making him giggle. 

“Oh shut it, you know its superior,” he fired back, you made a face but yelped when he lifted you onto the counter. He left more kisses on your lips, dragging them down to your neck where he left wet open mouth kisses slightly sucking at times, his tongue grazing below your pulse. Both of you wanted this, so it led you upstairs, where you made love that night. 

He noticed you weren’t falling asleep, he looked down and saw you already staring at him. “Is this real? Are we actually here together right now?” you couldn't help but ask making him laugh. He rolled over and now layed on your chest, getting comfy by wrapping his broad arm around you. “Yes baby. This is happening, just us two… after so long.”

“I love you, Mason,” your words caused his heart to begin to beat faster, it's the effect it had on him. He lifted himself up placing one last long kiss on your lips, leaning your forehead together. 

“I love you more Y/n”.

[jungk0oksthighs]

Against The Odds | Relax

Pairing - jungkook x reader, taehyung x reader

Genre - smut, angst, fluff, established relationship, love triangle au, ceo!jungkook, ceo!reader, attorney!taehyung

Word count - 2.2k

Drabble 2 - Everybody needs to relax

warnings: swearing, mentions of mental instability & facilities, mentions of alcohol

FULL SERIES COLLECTION | PREQUEL SERIES 

A fluffy haired Namjoon swings open the front door to his apartment, his son already sitting patiently in his car seat ready for a night at auntie Y/N’s house. He’s bundled up beneath baby blue and white blankets, clutching a Monster’s Inc toy that Jungkook purchased for him recently. You smile upon meeting the baby’s gaze, as does he, well you convince yourself it’s a smile but deep down you know it’s probably just gas.

“Hey, thanks for getting him at such short notice.” Namjoon’s dimples pierce his cheeks, you can’t help but notice he looks a little flustered; presumably stressed from getting Charlie ready for the night.

“It’s fine I don’t mind, am I having him just tonight or…?”

“Well…” Namjoon sheepishly scratches the back of his neck, his voice is thick and groggy with sleep, “You can say no of course, but if you wouldn’t mind…”

Your sigh is quiet but it still doesn’t go unnoticed by your ex-boyfriend, who immediately looks to regret what he’s said, “When do you want him back?”

“…Wednesday?” He sounds almost scared to ask.

Wednesday is six days away, you already know you’re going to have difficulty taking the time off work such short notice. Especially since Namjoon did the self and same thing last week, asking you to look after his son for almost the full week. It’s becoming a habit, a rather bad one to say the least. Of course you love spending time with your nephew, it’s just that lately it feels as though you see him more than his own father does.

“Joon…” You inhale, an attempt to keep calm, “I had him almost all week last week too, I’ve got work on weekdays you know I do.”

“I know, I’m so sorry it’s just…yknow Ruth could be getting out of Cypher House next month and I just want to make sure—”

“She’s getting out?!”

You’re frozen in place, eyes boring into the man who fathered your sister’s child. Ruth is getting out of Cypher House? When was that decided? Who by? You’re shaking your head in disbelief at the mere thought of her being reintroduced to your life, and worse, introduced to Charlie’s life. It’s no secret that your sister is mentally ill, after all, that’s why she ended up in Cypher House in the first place. Deemed too mentally unstable to stand trial of her crime, burglary. 

“Didn’t your parents tell you?” Joon looks equally as surprised as you by the revelation.

Unfortunately for you your parents have finally decided to listen to your pleas of ‘not wanting to know anything about your sister’. It’s not that you care, not after what she did to you, but you thought something as big as this would’ve been mentioned to you at the very least.

You scoff mostly to yourself, “No, they didn’t.”

“Can you have him til Monday night? That’s when the decision gets made on when she can leave...I know I’m asking a lot, I just wanna make sure she’s okay to come out before she has any involvement with my son.”

“No...that’s fair enough.” You lazily agree with him with a small nod, “Let me know what they say.”

“Of course I will...she asks about you a lot yknow, how you’re doing.” Joon leans against the doorframe with an apologetic smile tugging his plump lips, “I know you probably don’t want to hear that, I’m sorry. To be honest with you I’m looking forward to the day she’s released, means I won’t have to burden you so much.”

“So what you guys are just gonna play happy families when she gets out?!” You spit, guilt enveloping your stomach when your eyes fall to the innocent baby who has no idea what’s going on, “Like nothing happened? She might not be capable of looking after him yet, don’t you realise that?”

At this Namjoon visibly tenses with pinched brows, “What? No we’re not gonna play happy families! Jesus Y/N she’s Charles’ mother and that’s where my relationship with her ends, not that it’s any of your business.”

You struggle to bite back your unamused laughter, “Right. None of my business when my ex-boyfriend slept with my mentally insane sister and gave me a nephew.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, don’t twist my—”

“No you’re right, it’s got nothing to do with me.” You reach down for the car seat and overnight bag, picking up Charlie and his belongings, “See you Monday night.”

--

When Jungkook gets home from the office he’s greeted with the sight of you trying to soothe a crying Charlie in the kitchen, he’s been a little ratty recently but according to Google he could be teething, he’s the right age for it. You’re tired, so tired, but you continue to cuddle and bounce him in your arms with little coos in an attempt to calm him down.

“Hey baby…how long are we having him for this week?” Jungkook doesn’t do a good job of hiding his emotions, nor do you. While he’s happy to see the baby you can tell he already knows that he’ll be staying longer than you initially planned.

“Til Monday night.” You sigh, poor Charlie. It must be so confusing for him right now, constantly moving from apartment to apartment never knowing who he’s going to be depending on that day.

“Come here little guy,” He holds his strong arms out, taking the baby from you, “Come to uncle Kook… What was Namjoon’s excuse this time?”

At this you crumble, visibly stressed and overwhelmed, “Ruth. She could be getting out.”

“Already? Are you serious?” Jungkook manages to hush your nephew, soothingly rubbing his little back when his hooded eyes find yours, “How are you feeling about that?”

A humourless laugh escapes you before you can catch it, rubbing your face with your hands, “I don’t know… Worried about Charlie, worried that she’s not better like everybody seems to believe she is… I’m just worried about the whole situation. What if she stops me from seeing him? Or worse, what if she’s still crazy and does something stupid—”

“Hey, shh, come here…” Jungkook stands in front of you, resting his forehead to yours, “They wouldn’t even consider letting her out if she hadn’t made progress, I’m sure social services will be involved if she does get out and they’ll make sure nothing happens to him. Okay? You’re an amazing auntie, Namjoon knows that, nobody’s gonna stop you from seeing him.”

“You promise?” You sigh, planting a chaste kiss to his lips, followed by one to Charlie’s temple.

“I can ask Taehyung what he thinks of the situation? He’s probably seen something similar in court before. I’m sure he’ll know what happens next.” Your fiancé’s voice is quiet, careful not to disturb the baby he carries.

“No, it’s okay… Whatever happens, happens right?” You whisper.

Truthfully the mention of Taehyung’s name makes you feel awkward. You swear you’re overanalysing the situation completely but a few weeks ago when you had dinner with him you could’ve sworn he was being…flirty, with you. It was definitely the sheer amount of wine you drank, that’s what you’ve put it down to. The next day on the drive home he’d returned back to his usual less-salacious self, even apologising if he said anything that made you uncomfortable.

You’re not sure if he’s mentioned anything to Jungkook, but you definitely haven’t. It’s not that Tae was being inappropriate with you, he didn’t say or do anything that crossed a line, if he did of course you would tell your fiancé. But he did shower you with compliments all night, stare at you a little too hard and when you advised him you would never cheat on Kook with his best friend, he simply stated: stranger things have happened. He was drunk, he didn’t mean anything by it. At least that’s what you’ve convinced yourself ever since that night.

“Why don’t you run yourself a nice bath?” Jungkook kisses your temple, before finally pulling away from you, “I’ll take care of the little guy, you just try and relax tonight. Must’ve been a shock for you when you found out.”

“No it’s okay, you don’t have to do that.” You’re smile is small but genuine, awestruck, how can one man be so perfect?

“Really it’s fine, Tae’s on his way here we’re all having pizza for dinner. If little man gives me any trouble he’ll help me out you don’t have to worry, you know how good he is with kids.”

“He’s on his way?” Your lips purse awkwardly. Fuck.

Jungkook’s big brown doe-eyes widen with something akin to fear and confusion, “Yeah…is that okay? Sorry I probably should’ve ran it by you first.”

“Of course it’s okay, I’m just surprised that’s all. Are you sure you’ll be alright with him?” You nod your head in the direction of the baby.

“Yes, go… I bought some more of those bath bombs you like they’re in my side of the wardrobe.” He hums with a show stopping smile.

“The wardrobe?” You snort, “What a strange place to put them.”

“Well they were supposed to be a surprise, but you look like you could do with cheering up so you can have them now. Go and relax.”

“Mmm you’re the best.” You grin sheepishly, stealing another kiss before you head to the bedroom.

You hear him chuckle behind you, “It’s been said before.”

--

It’s a little after eight pm when you’re diving into your third slice of pepperoni pizza on the sofa, watching a film. Charlie is tucked up in bed, Jungkook holds the baby monitor in his left hand, making sure that if he is to wake up he’ll be the first to know. Your hair’s wet, you’re bare-faced and dressed in pink pyjamas, feeling nice and relaxed after you bubble bath. At least you would be if it wasn’t for Taehyung’s uncomfortable demeanour.

Ever since he arrived he’s been quieter than usual, running slender fingers through his rich chocolate hair every few minutes, constantly toying with the material of his work clothes, almost as if he’s nervous. Neither him or Jungkook have been changed, both men still sitting in their smart shirts and fitted trousers.

“You okay?” Jungkook beats you to it, questioning his best friend with a sigh. “You seem a little quiet.”

“Yeah I’m fine, I didn’t realise Charlie would be here tonight…I can go if you want some time to yourselves.”

Jungkook shakes his head, swallowing his mouthful of pizza, “He’s asleep it’s all good, you sure you’re okay? I know when something’s bothering you.”

The Adam’s apple in Taehyung’s throat bobs, “I said I’m fine.”

“If you say so…” Kook exhales with wide eyes trained on you with a knowing look that silently screams he is so not fine, “Just gonna grab a beer, you want one Tae?”

“I’ll get them—” You try to stand, but Kook gently pushes you back onto the soft sofa.

“It’s fine baby I’m already up. You want anything?”

“I’ll have a beer please.” You giggle, bringing your knees to your chest in an attempt to cover your braless chest.

Taehyung clears his throat, “Yeah me too. Thanks Guk.”

When your fiancé is out of earshot you catch his best friend staring at you from the corner of your eye. He must be embarrassed about the meal, you think to yourself before a pang of guilt hits you like a tonne of bricks. He has nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s not like anything happened between you both. Turning your neck you face him with a warm smile you realise this is the first time you’ve seen him properly since your night together.

“You sure you’re okay?” You tilt your head.

He nods, mirroring your smile, “I’m good. As long as we’re good?” His brow quirks.

“What? Of course we’re good.”

“It’s just that… I kind of have the feeling you’ve been avoiding me since we went to the manor house. I’m really sorry if I overstepped when I called you beautiful, I just-, yeah, I’m really sorry.”

“You didn’t overstep,” You’re shaking your head as you reassure him, “We were drunk and you were just being nice to me.”

“Right…just being nice.” His tongue clicks on the roof of his mouth when he looks away, focussing on the television mounted to the wall, “Glad we cleared that up.”

“You need to relax…there’s nothing to clear up Tae…we’re good, we’ve always been good and I hope we always are good.” You chuckle, eyes finding Jungkook walking back into the room with three full beer bottles in one hand, the baby monitor still firmly gripped by the other.

“Me too.”

x

[l-r-christian]

This is about the request about the ED and I wanted to clarify that the reader is anorexia. She begins to become insure about her body because of Hayley or anyone else and stops eating, excessively working out.

Okay. I am going to kinda put my self in the reader's shoes for this one as I have been there only it was a toxic relationship so I kinda know the feelings. This is gonna be be therapeutic for me.

Warnings: Angst, Toxic behavior, Hayley being kinda bitchy, Protective Mikaelsons, Fluff,

A/N: please if you are going though any of this please please seek help. Get a support system and get heathly as you matter no what anyone says.

It started off as a small off hand comment from Hayley about Y/N's weight and the woman brushed it off. But soon Hayley's comments turned to backhanded remarks and a bit bitchy. It was summer as the family was out in the pool and Y/N put on a two piece swimsuit looking at herself in it seeing how gorgeous she looked.

"Wow a two piece? I wouldn't have if I had your belly Y/N but that's brave of you." Hayley said looking Y/N over as the woman wore a cute two piece swimsuit that Rebekah bought her. Y/N flushed feeling a little self conscious as Elijah smiled gently at her waving her over to his sun chair so he could put sunscreen on her.

"You alright, baby?"

"Yeah...." Y/N tells him feeling Elijah kiss her neck as Hope's laughter reach her ears and saw the girl in the pool with Klaus and Kol. Y/N smiled and relaxed ignoring the old dark feelings creeping back in her mind.

"Your thighs are looking a bit chubby. Surprised that Klaus can even lift you." Hayley says as it sounds like she was harmlessly teasing Y/N when Klaus came in carrying the woman on his back. Y/N was quick to get off Klaus's back making him frown with the sudden change of behavior but let it go.

Y/N stood in front of her mirror in just lace bra and panties while she looked okay to the outside world. Y/N thought she was too heavy there was fat and needed to lose the weight that was in her belly and thighs.

'They'll never find you attractive fatty.'

'Why wouldn't they want a fat girl.'

'Look at you so fat. Wow how could you let yourself go.'

Y/N put a large shirt on before heading down stairs to join her lovers for dinner which caught their attention. Y/N smiled sitting between Rebekah and Kol getting some dinner, Elijah had made her favorite.

"Not that hungry love?"

"I had a big lunch." Y/N answered Klaus when she got a small portion of food this seemed to get her lovers to back off for a moment.

"You're working out a lot more than normal." Camille said joining Y/N on her workout as lately Camille had became worried about her best friend. The therapist in Camille was screaming at her that something was wrong with Y/N as the blonde noticed that the other woman hadn't been eating much.

"Well summer is coming up and I just wanna be toned." Y/N said smiling as they entered the gym and Camille didn't buy it but made notes to keep an eye on her friend.

Y/N was a bit heavier when she was teen and was mercilessly bullied for it and when one summer passed she loss the weight. Only to be leered at by boys as she had curves and got attention because of it which she got bullied by the girls in her school.

Old insecurities had came back and was worse than ever the more Hayley pointed out Y/N's weight or seemly playfully flirt with Elijah. Y/N had only ate when her lovers weren't around which wasn't much and she hadn't been intimate with them. Y/N found herself working out more, throwing up whatever she ate and abusing diet pills.

'Hayley is more gorgeous than you.'

'I bet Elijah is fucking her. Why would he want someone as disgusting as you?'

'Ugh even Kol, Rebekah and Klaus are disgusted by you.'

'They shouldn't be with you. You don't deserve them.'

The dark thoughts whispered as Y/N swallowed after having thrown up her dinner and got up feeling weak. Y/N was pale, her hair was dull but to Y/N she thought she looked fine while those around her was worried about her. Y/N was circling back to her old teen mindset of a vicious cycle of throwing up and working out.

'I need to be beautiful. I need to be beautiful.'

Was an old dangerous thought that had came back in full force in Y/N's head as she headed for the gym again getting the other's attention making them frown.

"She is too thin Elijah. Something is wrong but she won't talk." Klaus said pacing as the four was talking about Y/N. For the last month they noticed the decline in their lover's health.

"I am aware Niklaus. But we can't just tie her down and force her to eat."

"Well we can't do nothing."

"Then let's find out why."

It took one slip up from Hayley for Rebekah to over hear as the hybrid making Y/N feel small as she said some hurtful words.

"Shame Elijah is dating a human like you. Weak and unattractive, I bet he has to be careful to not hurt you." Hayley said poking Y/N's thigh when the human walked past her.

"Your thighs look a lit......" Hayley was cut off by Rebekah's growl as the Original marched into the room glaring at the hybrid.

"So you been tormenting my little wife?!" Rebekah said getting protective getting the boy's attention as they walked in. They saw an angry Rebekah and an annoyed Hayley with a worried Y/N.

"Rebekah?"

"Nik the mother of your daughter has been hurting Y/N." Rebekah said as Klaus glared and Y/N was getting anxious as this wasn't what she wanted. The human moved to walk away as they were fighting with Hayley but because she hadn't been eating she fainted which Elijah caught her.

When Y/N woke she saw her vampires around her bed worried Elijah sat next to her cupping her cheek rubbing it frowning with how thin she felt.

"Why have you been staving yourself?"

"I haven't." Y/N said sitting up but layed back down feeling light headed as she was trying to push back the thoughts. Whispers of her being a burden enter her mind, now they won't want her but felt Rebekah cup her face.

"You aren't a burden and we would always want you." Rebekah said as Y/N realized she had said that all out loud and began to cry only to get piled on by her lovers. It was one step at a time as none of her lovers left her alone, Elijah made she stay in at least one of their beds and Klaus and Kol made sure she ate while Rebekah had been keeping Hayley away from the Abattoir.

Y/N was at a heathly weight but far from being okay so Klaus had her talk with Camille to get her to be in a healthy mindset. Y/N's road to recovery was rough as a few times she fell back into old habits but her lovers was quick to get her back on track.

"Thank you for not giving up on me." Y/N whispered as she as cuddled up to Kol with Rebekah as they all was watching a movie. Both Rebekah and Kol placed kisses on her skin as Elijah and Klaus smiled softly.

"We would never give up on you love." Klaus said as Y/N smiled feeling comfortable. By all means Y/N wasn't better but for now she felt loved and safe knowing that they would never allow her to feel like that again.

[marvelouslytrekking]

Hidden Injury

Pairing: Leonard McCoy/Reader Summary: An away mission goes south (as they do) and you’re left running for your life and even once you’re mostly safe, you try to keep your injuries from you boyfriend. Word Count: 1280 Warnings: maybe a swear word, brief mention of injury, passing out A/N: Wow it has been forever since I have written for Bones or Star Trek. This was kinda request from an anon for some hurt/comfort not sure if this really fits that but I wrote it in like 2 hours and it’s been awhile since I have had the ability to do that so I am proud of it and hope you enjoy it!

Just once, just one time, you wanted a mission to go according to plan. You were so sick of hearing the words “This one will be simple, just a diplomatic stop,” only to find yourself running through a jungle while being chased by the other species on the planet that hate the ones you were there to meet with.

And just once, just one time it would be nice if when things went south that the transporter would work so you weren’t stuck running for longer than your legs and lungs liked. What was the point of advanced technology if it never actually worked to get you out of these types of situations.

And worse yet, you never seemed to manage to be able to stick together, easily being split up so you were not only running for your life but you had no idea if your crewmates were okay or not. You vowed to yourself that next time Kirk thought he needed an engineer on the planet you are going to refuse to be the one. Let Scotty risk his ass, not you. You would much rather be running around onboard the ship trying to get transporters online.

You’d think that having been in a similar situation multiple times, you would have learned a few things, but evidently you had not. You turned around, trying to see if you had made any headway on getting away from the aliens but unfortunately, you hadn’t, and you managed to miss the giant log in front of you. You crashed down to the ground hard. You could tell immediately that you had definitely not only gave yourself a small concussion but something in your foot did not feel right. But at that moment you didn’t have time to dwell on either so instead you quickly pulled yourself up and continued to run. You continued to move in a zigzag, trying to dodge their spears and whatever else was being launched against you, as well as trying to lose them. Finally you made enough crazy turns that it seems they were no longer behind you.

You felt relief when you noticed a small cave and you limped your way into the opening, hoping it would hide you for long enough. Once you stopped and had a moment to catch your breath, you suddenly could feel the sharp and overwhelming pain in your foot. There was no way that it hadn’t been broken, and running for another few miles probably had done you the opposite of any good for it. You found yourself sliding down the wall of the cave. Trying not to dwell on the pain in both your foot and your head.

Your pain had distracted you so much you missed the footsteps that had been approaching you.

“Oh thank god, you’re okay.” You startled when you heard a familiar voice.

“Jesus Len, don’t sneak up on a person like that,” You scold him.

“Sorry,” He apologizes before joining you on the cave floor. “You okay? You’re not hurt are you.”

“I’m fine, Just sick of running from angry aliens all the time.” You tell him. You know you should mention the foot at the very least. There was no way if you needed to run you were going to be able to and he literally was a doctor but you just didn’t want to deal with it at the moment. You didn’t want to be the engineer that got injured on the mission and slowed everyone down.

“I agree with you there,” Bones grumbled, but you notice him running his eyes over you to make sure you truly are okay. “You sure you’re okay though?”

“Yes.” You tell him, you hope he doesn’t notice that you’re gritting your teeth.

He gives you a slight skeptical look but doesn’t push it any further. You figure he must have lost his tricorder if he hasn’t pushed it in your face already. You aren’t sure if you’re relieved or not about that fact.

You two sit in silence for a while, you find yourself wanting to close your eyes and go to sleep but you force yourself to stay awake. One thing you know is that falling asleep with a concussion isn’t a great idea. But you don’t stop yourself from resting your head on Len’s shoulder. He doesn’t seem to mind, happy to have you close.

It isn’t an issue much longer when you suddenly hear both of your comms go off.

“Transporter’s back online! We have a lock on your location and will be beaming you up shortly!” You hear Scotty’s voice.

“Took you long enough,” You tease him, not showing how relieved you truly are to hear his voice.

“Well my best engineer wasn’t here to help me out.”

Bones starts to stand up as you’re talking with Scotty and suddenly you realize you’re going to have to get up as well.

Before you can say anything, Bones has his hand stretched out for you to take. You try to position yourself in a way that you won’t have to put pressure on your leg. And it almost works, but the sudden movement of standing, or getting mostly pulled up, has your head spinning, and to get your balance, you instinctively put pressure on your foot.

You felt yourself scream out in pain as arms wrapped around you and darkness started to cloud your vision as the pain became too much.

` You wake up with just a dull pain over your entire body. Probably from the amount of running you did. But you immediately recognize that you are in one of the private rooms in the medbay. You weren’t sure your injury had warranted a private room but when you noticed Leonard sitting beside you, you realize it is probably less to do with the injury and more to do with the fact you were about to get yelled at.

“Don’t even think about pretending you’re still asleep.” He grumbled when he noticed you trying to close your eyes again.

“What if instead I just try to fall back asleep.” You countered.

“Not until after we’ve talked.”

“What are we talking about?” You asked as if you didn’t know. “How pretty the trees on that planet were?”

“No. We’re talking about the fact that you promised to stop hiding your injuries from me.” You could hear the frustration in his voice.

“I thought that was in reference to like, cuts and burns from engineering.” You tried.

“If I am worried about little cuts and burns, don’t you think I’d like to know when you completely shatter your foot and give yourself a mild concussion?” Leonard huffed. You can tell he is annoyed, but you also can hear the worry in his voice, especially when it dropped lower and he added, “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” You mumbled, refusing to look up at him.

“I know, just please don’t hide things like this from me again.” Leonard pleaded softly, resting his hand on your cheek, pulling your face to look at him. You notice how tired he looks. You felt terrible. He had to run for his life as well and when you could have been safe and relaxing, you scared him by passing out in his arms.

“I promise.” You told him. While you knew it wasn’t going to be easy, you much preferred not to be a burden, you also knew that you couldn’t keep doing these sort of things to him so you would make an effort. Especially because you hated seeing the disappointment on his face and much preferred the one of longing and love.

[mrsbrookemunson]

💚Rule The World💚 D.M. (After Hogwarts)

(I Do Not Own This Gif)

Song: “Rule The World” Take That

Prompt: You’re Snape’s daughter getting married to Draco Malfoy. It is based off my DR which Voldemort doesn’t come back in.

Year: After Hogwarts

House: Any

Warnings: EXTREMELY LONG, but I wanted to have a lot of different aspects. The weirdest ship canons, FLOOF, my terrible humor, and just it’s a lot. But, I squealed so many times writing this.

… Rule the World …

♬ You Light The Skies Up Above Me ♬

Draco releases a shaky breath he’s been holding for the last minute, adjusting his black blazer for the hundredth time. “Hey,” Blaise calls out announcing his presence. “Don’t pass out on us,” he jokes with a reassuring smile. His footsteps echo loudly as he strolls further into the tense air that fills the room.

Draco, however, couldn’t find it in himself to laugh. “What if she regrets it?” he blurts, looking at Blaise through the reflection of the mirror.

“She won’t.” 

He shakes his head. “What if she realizes I’m nothing compared to her?” he stresses. More burdening thoughts building in his mind. 

“You need to stop overthinking it. She said yes, didn’t she?” 

“Well, she might not see it now, but what if in a year she looks at me and… What if her heart rate doesn’t increase when I kiss her? Or she doesn’t push my hair back when it’s in my eyes?” He turns around to face Blaise, and more in this case… His Best Man. “What if I tell her that I love her, and she doesn’t say it back?”

“You don’t think she worries about these same silly possibilities as well. You don’t think at this moment she’s wondering… ‘What if he falls out of love with me?’” 

“Why would she need to worry about that?”

Blaise gives him a pointed look. “See my point?” 

Draco was about to reply when a knock was placed on the door. “Sorry,” a woman’s voice says. Pale, blue eyes find an identical pair from across from her. 

“I’ll leave you two to talk.” Blaise excuses himself. “Mrs. Malfoy.” He bows his head slightly, walking past her.

“Mother,” Draco breathes once alone.

Narcissa breaks into a smile. “You--” she cuts herself off, choking up on her own words. “You look so handsome, my boy.” 

Draco doesn’t reply, but instead marches over and wraps his arms around her. “Am I making the right choice?” 

She pulls him away from her. “Oh, my dear, that’s for you to decide. When she walks down that aisle, and the world fades to darkness, and only she shines brighter than every star in the galaxy combined, then you found the one, Draco.” She grasps his arms, comfortingly. 

“What if she stops loving me?” 

She tilts her head. “If you truly love her… It’s a risk you’ll be willing to take.” 

♬ A Star So Bright You Blind Me ♬

♬ Don’t Close Your Eyes ♬

“Blaise!” Luna exclaims, seeing her boyfriend walk in.

Y/N turns around with a small gasp. 

He shudders a little into a frozen position. “Wow.” He blinks a couple of times. “You look…” 

“I think the word is beautiful,” Luna finishes. 

Blaise laughs. “Yeah…” His chuckle gets louder. “Please tell me your thoughts are more put together than the grooms.” 

Y/n, confused, furrows her eyebrows. “Draco? What’s wrong with him?” 

“Just the traditional post-panic attack one has before a very big moment in their life,” he explains. 

“In that case… He’s not alone,” she admits.

Blaise looks over to Luna, who confirms with a nod. “She’s been asking me what if’s since we put on the dress.” 

He bites his lip to suppress a wide grin. “You two really are soulmates.”

Y/N was about to reply when a knock interrupted them. “I’m sorry to…” The man’s voice fades. 

“Father,” she whispers. 

Blaise eyes Luna still sitting down on the cushioned bench near a window. He clears his throat. “Luna, let’s go… Check on the guests.” 

“But--” His eyes widened, averting between Severus and Y/N. Something clicks. “Oh, yes. Let’s do that. I’ll be back soon.” 

They leave hand-in-hand. 

“You--” Severus cuts himself off with a sigh. “Where did the time go?”

Y/N sniffles, trying to hold back her tears. She shrugs. “To be honest… I don’t know,” she giggles, but it comes out strained. 

“And you are sure this is the boy you want to marry?” he asks, seriously.

“I love him, father… I really do.” She smiles, butterflies filling her stomach due to her own words. Ironic. 

“Love go--” 

“You of all people should know if you truly loved in the first place then that love never goes away.”

He lets out a huff, forming into an approving smile. “I taught you well.” 

“You did, so you should trust me to make the right decisions.” She slowly walks up to him. “You do trust me, don’t you?”

“Always. All I want for you is to be happy, and to wait until you’re ready to--” 

She hugs him tightly, him not hesitating to hug her back after a moment. “I’m ready father…” She lets go, holding her arm out. “Are you?” She raises an amused eyebrow.

“Never.” He links his arm. “But, for you… I will be.” 

♬ Don’t Fade Away Don’t Fade Away♬

♬ Yeah, You And Me We Can Ride On A Star♬

♬ If You Stay With Me Girl We Can Rule The World♬

People flooded the extravagant building. Filled with color, glowing flowers, fireflies, everything illuminated vibrantly, trees were blue, pink water fell from its fountain, and stars could be seen as clear as if you were on the tallest mountain in the night with no such thing as pollution or clouds. It looked as though it came out of an enchanting fairytale.

Laughter erupted, and stories were being shared amongst the crowd. The couple’s friends and family could be seen at every angle. They were there, all there for them, for this moment. Besides one. “Mister Malfoy.” 

Draco jumped violently. “Prof--” Severus raised an eyebrow. “Severus,” he corrected. 

Severus hummed. “Do you remember when you asked for your blessing to marry my daughter?” he asked, walking up to the trembling boy until he stood right in front of him.

“Y-Yes sir,” Draco stuttered. 

“You asked me right when you were both eighteen years old with a ring already in your grasp,” Severus added. “Yet, it took you a year to actually ask her.” He stared at him down, intensely. “You’re a coward.” 

Draco’s expression contorts into a large frown. “I know, sir.”

“But…” Severus begins. “I am no less of a coward than you, but you have to understand why I am afraid to put my world right into your hands.” 

“I understand, sir.” 

“Good.” Severus turns around to leave.

“Why did you approve my blessing?” Draco asks. “At such a young age?” 

Without turning around, Severus simply states, “Because of him.” He leaves.

Draco’s eyes narrow at the door. Memories flooding back of him. The only one that isn’t here on what is supposed to be the happiest day of his life.

“Draco!” His booming voice causes Draco to flinch at the door slamming. “What is this I hear about you getting engaged?” Lucius asks, aggressively pulling the boy’s collar to face him. 

“It’s true, father. I asked Y/N to marry me.” 

Lucius throws Draco to the ground. “Without my permission?” 

Draco glares at him. “I am nineteen, father, I don’t need to run everything by you anymore,” he defends.

“In Merlin’s name you will. You will marry Astor--” 

“Say her name once and see what happens,” Draco warns, standing upright. “I certainly will not marry Greengrass.”

Lucius points a stern finger, taking a sharp inhale through his teeth. “You--”

“Lucius!” His head turns to look at the owner of the voice to see Narcissa. 

Ignoring her he puts his attention on Draco again. “You are a disgrace to me. You are no son of mine.” That was the last he’s heard from his father, nor been in what he used to call home.

♬ Yeah, You And Me We Can Light Up The Sky♬

♬ If You Stay By My Side We Can Rule The World♬

♬ If Walls Break Down I Will Comfort You♬

“To ever think we were gonna get a shot at her,” Fred says towards George who nods in agreement. 

“We even made a schedule.” 

“A well organized one in that matter,” he replies.

“You really want to bring this up today?” Ginny questions, disgusted by the boy's conversation.

“Of all days to talk about you guys shagging her, it’s at her wedding,” Ron chimes in.

“There’s no better day to,” Fred laughs. “We might still get the chance, y’know? She’s not married, yet.” He suggestively winks. 

“Ew.” Ginny looks away from the sight. 

“Good luck with that,” Ron comments. “End up getting Avad--” 

“Ron!” Hermione shouts. “Don’t you dare say what I think you were about to say.” She plops beside him on the friends/young adults side of the seating area. 

“Don’t yell at me, yell at them, they’re the ones talking about getting together with the bride before she says ‘I do’,” Ron rushes, holding his hands up in defense.

“If. If she says ‘I do’,” Tom interferes. 

“Now, Riddle, don’t go scheming against our best friend's wedding.” Mattheo appears beside him (They’re brothers!)

“Now, Riddle, I would never do such a thing.” Tom clicks his tongue with a sly wink towards the group, taking a sip of his drink.

“You’re already getting drunk?” Theo smirks. “Without me.” 

“Bloody Hell, how many Slytherins are there?” Ron scans the room to see if he could spot any more faces that he could recognize from school that wore green robes. 

“We get around places,” Theo replies. 

“There you guys are!” Harry jogs up. “Couldn’t find you.” 

“Scarhead!” Tom (Also Voldemort and Tom are two different people, it’s chaotic I know!)  chuckles with a large smile. “Didn’t think I’d find you here.” His eyes quickly flicker up and down.

Harry stares awkwardly at the guy. “Well, I am,” he responds, sarcastically. He sits next to Ginny. 

Neville comes spinning down the aisle. “Don’t you just love weddings?” 

Ginny gets up. “You’re here.” She glances around. “Finally.” Relief washed over her. She pecked his cheek. 

A pair runs in, rushed. “Sorry, we’re late.” Cedric looks at Cho who is next to him. 

Harry stands up, suddenly. “It’s okay, I mean--I’m guessing it’s okay.” He moves to an open space where he can shake Cedric’s hand. “Good to see you again.” His eyes meet dark brown ones. “Cho.” He nods in acknowledgement. 

She forms a thin line smile. “Harry.”

Tom looks at the ceiling in annoyance. “Kill me now,” he mutters.

♬ If Angels Cry Oh I’ll Be There For You♬

♬ You’ve Saved My Soul♬

“Sirius!” Tonks pulls him into a quick hug. “Great to see you again. Remus is around here somewhere, probably already crying, you know how he was at James and Lily’s wedding.”

Sirius chuckles at the memory. “How could I not remember? He cried everyday when they were gone on their honeymoon.” 

“You boys better not do anything funny, you hear me?” they hear a woman scold. “You pull any prank and you’ll be getting a load from me! Understood?” 

Fred and George glance at each other. “Understood,” they say at the same time.

Sirius and Tonks look towards the noise to see Molly. As Fred and George shuffle past the two the only thing they could make out was-- “Should we tell her about the cheese?” 

“I’m here,” Remus announces. “Just had to use the bathroom.” His giddy excitement over the event being taken place was endearing. It falters. “Severus.” 

The adults all look at the man. 

“How’s the bride?” Molly asks, unfazed. “Oh.” She waves it off. “I’ll just go check.” She pats his shoulder. 

“I’ll come with you.” Tonks follows.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready to walk her down the aisle?” Remus asks. 

Severus doesn’t move not until Narcissa can be seen out of the corner of his eye. “It’s almost time,” she informs. 

She was right. Luna was finally getting Ginny and Hermione, while Blaise was grabbing Tom, Mattheo, and Theo. Hagrid was getting ready to officiate this wedding.

Things were becoming too surreal for Severus. He didn’t know if he would be able to go through with all of this. His eyes analyze everyone around, familiar and unfamiliar. “It’s almost time,” he repeats, more to convince himself than anyone else. “I should go,” he whispers before someone asks if he was okay. 

When he arrives at the room Y/N has been in since early this morning, the room they had their talk in. She was surrounded by women, pestering her with compliments and words of encouragement, finishing whatever they started when he wasn’t here. “Is it time?” she asks, her breath getting hitched in her throat. 

He gives a single nod. “It is.” 

Y/N takes a deep breath. “It’s time,” she repeats to herself. 

“It’s never too late to turn back now,” Ginny says, in more of a teasing, unserious tone, but it still earned her a glare from Hermione. “What? Leave the man at the altar for all I care.” Molly puts her hands on her hips, looking at her daughter. “Sorry,” she mumbles.

Y/N can’t hold back her laugh. “Thanks Ginny. But, I think I know what I’m doing.” She looks in the mirror one last time. Her light, baby blue gown that she’s dreamt about since she was a young teenager, her golden crown at the top of her head that blue butterflies flew around with a ray of light trail, and that necklace she’s been wearing for years, the necklace that her father gave her when he first held her in his arms. It was perfect. 

♬ Don’t Leave Me Down Don’t Leave Me Now♬

♬ Yeah, You And Me We Can Ride On A Star♬

♬ If You Stay With Me Girl We Can Rule The World♬

Draco, Blaise, Theo, Mattheo, and Tom all lined up in their designated spots. 

“I hate to say it Freddie, but I think Draco’s beating us in the outfit game. Why didn’t we wear tuxedos like that?” They both look at each other which causes them to burst out laughing, loud enough for Molly to send them a death threatening glare. 

“We best be careful,” Fred says, taking note of her. 

Blaise places a hand on Draco’s shoulder. “Relax,” he whispers. 

Draco doesn’t respond, but instead searches for his mother who he found rather quickly. She gives a small smile, and her eyes read ‘remember what I said’. He took her wise words to heart. His eyes closed to give it his best attempt to slow down his heart rate, but it was useless.

“Dude stop gawking at Potter, will you,” Mattheo orders Tom.

“I’m not,” he argues.

Draco overhears this and looks towards the brothers. “You’re still on that?” he asks.

“Since they first met,” Mattheo states. 

“If I knew any better, I’d say it was love at first sight,” Theo ridicules. 

“Knock off!” Tom growls. 

Music begins to play, signaling everyone to quiet down. 

Draco’s heart sinks to his stomach, looking in front of him. “Just remember… She chose you, you guys wouldn’t be here right now if she didn’t know what she truly wanted. And that’s you, Draco,” Blaise assures.

Draco turns to him, smiling. “This is why you’re my best man.” They hug briefly. 

“Ouch,” Tom mouths, but everyone caught it, causing some chuckles, and laughs. 

First Molly and Tonks come pouring out of the opening in the wall. Some whistles shot towards them. Molly strikes a pose, and Tonks just steps aside to gesture towards the confident lady. They go to sit down. 

Next comes the bridesmaids, Ginny and Hermione walking out together, smiling, as they were applauded by the crowd, going up to line on the opposite side of the boys. The cheering got louder when Luna walked out and gave a little twirl. 

“YEAH!” Blaise exclaims. The boys gave him a weirded out expression ‘causing him to be slightly embarrassed. “What?” He shrugs, straightening his jacket. “That’s my girl.” 

She walks up, blowing a kiss towards Blaise, which he caught, blowing one right back at her. “You may now stand for the bride,” she announces, proudly.

Everything began to slow down, and the lights suddenly turned off, and colorful candles were magically lit around the people. Everyone stood up, and looked down the aisle, poised, and more than ready to see Y/N. Draco’s hands began to feel clammy, looking down at his shoes. Was he ready? Would this end up in what he feared most? A relationship like his parents?

He heard everyone gasp, making him look up. Those worries vanished immediately. 

♬ Yeah, You And Me We Can Light Up The Sky♬

♬ If You Stay By My Side We Can Rule The World♬

♬ All The Stars Are Coming Out Tonight♬

♬ They’re Lighting Up The Sky Tonight For You For You♬

Draco’s eyes found hers, and all the color in the world faded to black and white, only her in the most vibrant shade he’s ever seen. She did shine brighter than every star in the entire galaxy… Scratch that. The universe, and so much more. He felt dizzy as the past caught up to him. It felt like he was meeting her for the first time all over again.

Y/N and Severus walked down the grand staircase of Malfoy Manor, with their arms linked. “Wow,” she breathed. “This is breathtaking.”

They finally reached the end where the Malfoy family stood waiting. “Severus.” Lucius shook his hand as a weird form of greeting. Weird to Y/N at least. 

“Lucius,” he replied. 

“This must be Y/N,” Narcissa says, kindly, looking down at the girl who was too busy taking in her environment. People dancing, laughing, eating, drinking, everything she's ever wanted to witness. She felt like a princess.

Severus nudges the ten year old. “Oh.” She snaps out of her trance. “Yes, hello.” She bows. 

Narcissa looks towards a boy that looked about her age that stood right in front of her. “This is our son--”

“Malfoy,” he cuts his mother off. “Draco Malfoy.” He holds out his hand for her to shake.

“L/N,” she mimics. “Y/N L/N.” She accepts his handshake, boldly.

“L/N?” he questions.

“My mother’s last name,” she explains. “My father said I looked like her tonight.” She spins in her baby blue gown, holding onto her butterfly crown that sat around her head so that it didn’t fall off. “Father always said she liked butterflies,” she adds, seeing his gaze stuck on the ones that stuck out in mid-air.

“You remind me of a butterfly,” he admits, meeting her eyes. Her smile instantly sends an unfamiliar warmth through him, and he almost found himself genuinely smiling back. 

“I’ll take it as a compliment.” She turns to her father only to find him engrossed in what looked to be a serious conversation with the Malfoys. “Would you like to dance?” Before he could answer she already had his hand in hers, dragging him to the dance floor.

Y/N knew what she was doing when she decided on this dress, and the way she did her hair. Her eyes peek down at her shoes, as she tried to suppress her smile, but miserably failed to. It reminded Draco that no matter how many times he saw her dressed up it could never compare to this, it could never not send him into a daze. He was drunk off of her, addicted to her in the best way possible. And all he could see was his future with her, there was no option for her not to be in it. His eyes follow her every movement as she gives the daisy filled bouquet to a young girl. 

Severus and her come to a stop. She places a gentle kiss on her father’s cheek. “I love you, father,” she whispers, as he lets go, her now finding Draco’s soft, cold hand that comforted her.

♬ All The Stars Are Coming Out Tonight♬

♬ They’re Lighting Up The Sky Tonight For You For You♬

♬ Yeah, You And Me We Can Ride On A Star♬

♬ If You Stay With Me Girl We Can Rule The World♬

Y/N and Draco stand facing each other, holding hands.

They silently wait for Hagrid to say something, but when all he does is sniffle they both look at the giant man. “Sorry!” He wipes his tears away. “It’s just… You kids grow up so fast,” he continues, crying harder. 

Y/N giggles, looking at Draco whose patience is starting to thin. “Hagrid!” she playfully yells. “We’ll be dead before you marry us at this rate.” 

Everyone laughs at her joke which causes him to straighten his posture. “Excuse me Y/N.” He sighs, blowing his nose. “I’m ready.” Laughs fill the room yet again. “Everyone may be seated.” They do so. “We are gathered here today to join Y/N L/N and Draco Malfoy in an act of true love--” 

They both drown out Hagrid’s voice when they get lost in each other’s eyes. 

Hagrid clears his throat loudly. “What?!” Draco accidentally shouts.

Y/N erupts into laughter

“Vows,” Hagrid answers, shortly. “You guys wrote your own vows, right?” 

“Y-Yes,” Draco stammers, only letting go of one of Y/N’s hands to fish out a piece of paper in his pocket. People snicker, which causes him to stop. “You know I’m bad at memorising things.” 

“I didn’t say anything,” Y/N comments, cheekily. 

He finally gets it out, having trouble unfolding it with just one hand, but nevertheless gets it done. “Okay…” His voice seemed to tremble, and so did his hands which everyone was able to now see with how the paper shaked profusely. “I never told you this, I never thought I would, but… Here I am about to spill a secret I’ve been keeping for ten years,” he starts. “I was terrified when I met you. You intimidated me, more than my father at the time--” he pauses as Narcissa’s laugh could slightly be heard in the crowd, “--first you come in next to my future professor, looking absolutely breathtaking, I tried to be cool by introducing myself then you had to go ahead and do the same thing with triple the confidence, with a smile that could melt the heart of any ten year old boy, next thing I know I’m waltzing with you like we’ve done it a million times.” Y/N smiles at his words. ���And that smile hasn’t changed the effect it has on me. I never told you why you remind me of a butterfly, why I told you that the night we met.” She tilts her head. “First of all… You have the beauty of one.” The crowd lets out an ‘aw’. Draco’s face turns blood red. “You have the wonder of one, I was so scared, I still am that I will end up touching one of your wings and you’ll leave me. You are so free that sometimes I feel like I am the rain that is slowing you down, you’re able to face anyone you want, yet still have that space unless you’re certain you can trust them. You trust me, or you make me believe you do, don’t know why to be honest. Lastly is that I am actually a little afraid of butterflies. But, truly there’s so much I wish I could say right now to you, but that’s why I’m here, to have all the time in the world to tell you everything I want to.” 

♬ Yeah, You And Me We Can Light Up The Sky♬

♬ If You Stay By My Side We Can Rule The World♬

♬ All The Stars Are Coming Out Tonight♬

♬ They’re Lighting Up The Sky Tonight For You For You♬

Y/N was rendered speechless. “You’re good,” she chokes out. “You’re good.” He laughs at her reaction. “I feel a little stupid now, because mine isn’t that good,” she self-deprecates. She clears her throat. “Here we go…” She purses her lips. “I hate you Draco Malfoy.” 

Everyone let out ‘oh’s and ‘oos’, Fred and George could be heard laughing from afar.

Draco freezes before leaning forward. “Do you want to do this in front of everyone right now? We can leave and talk if you--” 

“Oh!” Y/N cracks up, throwing her head back to laugh loudly. “That-that wasn’t it.” She looks back at him. “See? I told you mine wasn’t that good,” she jokes. “Just let me finish, ‘kay?” He nods, anxiously, still tense. She shakes her shoulders in an attempt to let the nerves go. “You’re a liar, you told me you didn’t smell anything with the Amortentia potion, but you did, it was me, you’re overly dramatic with the whole ‘it’s killed meh! it’s killed meh!’--” His eyes widened, embarrassed, “That time in second year when you called Hermione the ‘M’ word,” she whispers at the end. “Oh Merlin, remember that time you turned into a ferret!” She bursts into a hysterical fit of laughter. 

“It wasn’t that funny,” he mumbles.

“It was.” She moves to cup his face. “I hate you Draco Malfoy, I hated you even more with what Blaise told me.” 

Everyone’s attention snaps towards Blaise. “I--” 

“With what Narcissa told me privately.” Now all gazes go to her. “With what I heard and saw from you,” she pauses. “Just like you aren’t good at memorising, I’m not good at sticking to the script…” She smiles. “I hate you Draco Malfoy for ever doubting my love for you. Yes, you made many mistakes, but I saw change, I saw you. Why do you think I have so much wonder? Because you would read to me tales when I couldn’t sleep, or had nightmares. And you’ve already touched my wings a billion times because you were the one to fix them when anything and anyone brought me down. I am free because you made me believe I could touch the sky when we flew on that old, dusty broom you found in a closet, and by the way… I love the rain, you should know that with how many times we’ve danced in it. And Draco,” she begins to cry. “I’m only able to face people when I know you’d be there, because you didn’t pull away when I took your hand the night we met, and I trust you to take my hand if someone didn’t accept me. Damn you for not knowing why I’ve trusted you in all these years.” She lets go of his face. “And damn you for still not seeing how much I fucking love you Draco Malfoy. That’s why I hate you.” 

It goes eerily quiet when she’s finished, the sound of Draco’s first sob breaking it. “I-I--” 

Y/N gasps in horror. “Draco,” she cooed, brushing the hair out of his face that fell into his eyes which caused him to cover his face. “Don’t…” She inhales sharply. “I messed it up already, haven’t I?” 

He shakes his head. “I thought you said yours wasn’t good,” he whines. 

♬ All The Stars Are Coming Out Tonight♬

♬ They’re Lighting Up The Sky Tonight For You For You♬

♬ All The Stars Are Coming Out Tonight♬

♬ They’re Lighting Up The Sky Tonight For You For You♬

After Draco and Y/N took a breather after the strangest vow exchange anyone has ever seen in the room, they held the rings that’d symbolize everything they’ve worked for. “Do you Draco Malfoy take Y/N L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, and to love in sickness and in wealth, till death do you part?” 

Draco smiles. “I do.” He slides the ring onto her finger. 

“And do you Y/N L/N take Draco Malfoy to be your lawfully wedded husband, and to love--and to hate--” Y/N rolls her eyes at Hagrid’s comment, ‘--in sickness and in wealth, till death do you part?” 

“I do.” She slides the ring onto his finger.

“By the power vested in me I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, you may now--” Draco not being able to hold himself back anymore, he presses his lips hastily onto Y/N’s, catching her by surprise. “Oh--uh--You may now kiss the bride!” Hagrid finishes quickly.

People stand up cheering loudly for the newlyweds

Y/N pulls away, trying to catch her breath. “I love you,” she whispers. “I really do.” 

“I love you too,” he replies with the same intensity.

As if Y/N suddenly remembers the most important aspect of this day she moves away from him. “The bouquet!” 

Draco looks at her confused. “That’s why you just left my grasp, because you need to throw the bouquet.” 

She rolls her eyes, dramatically. “Well, Draco, we’re the first ones married out of our entire friend group, we need someone to be in the same boat as us so we’re not alone.” 

She takes the bouquet back from the little girl, all the ladies of the crown notice quickly, Hermione, Luna, and Ginny jumping into the group that’s now gathering. “What are you thinking?” Blaise asks Draco who couldn’t take his eyes off his new wife. 

“That I hope this isn’t all just one crazy, realistic dream.”

Blaise shakes his head. “Not dreaming, bud.” 

Y/N turns around, and tosses the bouquet behind her. Wanting to see who caught it, her jaw drops at the victim. “What’s this rubbish?” Harry asks, holding it in his hand. 

“What’s this rubbish he says,” Fred says, popping out of nowhere. 

“This is your future,” George claims, leaning in. “Means you're getting married next.” 

“To who?” Harry asks, with a frown.

“Let’s say the next person you see.” Fred slaps his back, harshly. “Good luck.” They walk away.

Without really thinking Harry looks up to see a silhouette illuminated by a bright light behind them. “Lucky man whoever that one will be,” Tom utters, cooly, Harry getting the full view of him. “Catch you later, Potter.” 

♬ All The Stars Are Coming Out Tonight♬

♬ They’re Lighting Up The Sky Tonight For You For You♬