#I am not gonna go and scream at anyone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

edwinisms · 1 month

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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time

#rambling #i think about this a lot #you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime #but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful #as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated #by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them #to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he #made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions #it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period #anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not #remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices #so props to him. man’s got balls #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers #because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself #it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable #and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation #(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that #got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or #think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he #could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me #someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder #the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification

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tititilani · 3 months

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Never let anyone say peer pressure doesn't work because I'm currently 2.5k deep in that Simon takes Edwin's offer fic that I said I didn't have time for, oops.

#dead boy detectives #dbda #payneland #i have no idea what the hell happened with that post but man i love this fandom <3 #is it actually going to be 10k? we're gonna find out because i have no idea #this is the fic that i was saying i didn't have time for but am writing anyways #but 600 notes and climbing is a hell of a motivator apparently because every reblog is just making me start screaming again #also if anyone wants to be tagged when it done let me know ig?

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yo-yo-yoshiko · 1 year

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I always love a heel, but not like this....... not like thissssss!!

#kingohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #jeramie brasieri #spider kumonos #gerojim #super sentai #GOD DAMNIT TOEI I KNOW I ASKED FOR IT BUT I WAS WRONG GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK WAAAAAHHHHHH #i'm simultaneously over the moon skipping and jumping and also in emotional crisis and can't stop screaming and crying aaahah #I CALLED THIS WEEKS AGO BUT THOUGHT WE WERE IN THE CLEAR!! I THOUGHT IT WASNT GONNA HAPPEN BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #AAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH #AFKL;JEW;LKJ;LJFL;FJAEW #JERAMIEEEEEEEEE!!! GEROJIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM!!!!#MY SPECIAL BOOOYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSS #DON'T WALK OVER THAT HORIZON GOD DAMNIT!!#STAY WHERE I CAN SEE YOU WAAHAH!#ANYONE ELSE CONCERNED ABOUT ALL THE DEATH FLAGS ON THE BOTH OF THEM!??? I AM FEARING AGAIN #i recommend kingohger it a fun time

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thedappleddragon · 2 months

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Hmm

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #vent #I know it’s just the 2 am talking #on top of some very shit events occurring today #but I feel like making some decisions that will ruin my life #not in a a danger to myself or others kind of way at ALL don’t worry about that #I mean like #destroying personal relations with my peers kind of way #I’m so utterly and completely fucked #my future roomate bailed on me 2 weeks before school starts #so if anyone wants to live in Muncie #my place is wide open #fucker #what is her problem #like legitimately #I’ve been making myself sick over this for going on #SEVEN HOURS #I can’t sleep #I’ve just been so utterly fucked over I don’t know what to do #and I’m not gonna have even an inkling of a solution until my apartment complex emails me back #and it’s a fucking weekend so who knows when that will be #if I think too hard I’m gonna cry about it #Steph is such a life saver tho. listening to me scream about this and playing video games drunk on call with me #fuck #I’m going to blow my goddamn brains out. but not actually #I guess on the bright side I might get to live alone

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housewifebuck · 6 months

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i am sooooo ready to compete with you on who’s more insufferable. i feel like i can take you easily

Oh you could take me huh. That’s kinda gay dude….

#and if we kiss? what then……#but also I’m definitely gonna be the more insufferable one I’m sorry ask anyone #we haven’t been mutuals long enough yet….youll see soon enough<3 #at least irl. I am going to be screaming and punching the ground etc #asks #office hours

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the--highlanders · 1 year

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do you guys KNOW how frustrated this thing makes me. like it's literally from the regiment that jamie would most likely have been in AND the story lines up so well with the plot of the highlanders and I'm just. constantly itching to retcon the episode a little bit in my head and make this the standard

but no!! the serial kind of depends on the standard being prince charles' rather than nust a regimental standard!!!! and it kills me every single day

#second doctor #jacobite ramblings #the OTHER thing that kills me is the ring.#having been given to kirsty's father 'in the heat of battle'#because i've placed the maclarens at kinkell castle #which supposedly hosted charles after culloden when he was on the run #whether or not that story is true i like the association #and i would love to swap it around in the dr who universe to him having stayed there before the battle #& the ring being something he gave to kirsty as a thanks for hosting #(which was quite common there is a Lot of jewellery in various collections given to ladies who hosted him)#(and other objects as well)#(not gonna talk about them here but i do love talking about them)#so it would make so much sense!!!! for kirsty to have the ring!!!!#but again the episode kinda hinges on the ring being charles' personal ring rather than a gift #screaming crying clawing at the walls. why won't this 60s tv show for kids squish neatly into historical realism.#for the sake of clarity i am being overdramatic about this but also i am a little bit pretentious and it does make me chew through concrete #anyway this post brought to you by me going to nms yesterday #was i technically there for a job interview? yes.#did that stop me from visiting the jacobite displays to say hello to my favourite objects and do a little bit of blorbo research? no.#if anyone was at nms yesterday & saw a little gremlin in a waistcoat taking pictures of highland wool spinning implements that was me <3

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tardis--dreams · 1 month

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Feeling homicidal at work today ♡

#there's been major issues with wordpress for Weeks now and my beloved colleague told IT about it and added me #to the 'task' explicitly writing 'please talk to [my name] if you have any further questions or want to discuss things as i am on vacation'#today i come back to this task reading a lovely comment by that dude who's responsible for solving the problem going #'i think it's best if we make an appointment to discuss this when you're back :)' bitch ill kill you #my boy doesn't even Use wordpress it's not even his fucking problem. he just was nice enough to summarize my complaints #so i added a comment too because i honestly can't work like this and want this to be Fixed asap #and if he wants to talk to [beloved colleague] first it's gonna take another 2 fucking weeks until anyone even considers the problem again #and i have no patience for this left at this point. so of course that bitch calls me when i was marked as 'absent' on teams #(did he fucking do that on purpose?? so he wouldn't actually have to talk to me? also. just Text me you fucking bitch)#and when i come back to it HE was absent so i couldn't call him back and also i won't wait for him to come back online so i can talk to him #because my work hours are Over for this week and he could very well just send me a message or add another comment if he has anything to say #but alas he didn't #i honestly am usually quite patient and understanding when it comes to fixing issues but this has been going on forever #and i wouldn't even say anything if it hadn't been for that stupid ass comment on how he wants to talk to [colleague] first. bitch!#(i just mentioned what the main issue was in my own comment btw. i didn't say anything about hurrying or any of the million #passive aggressive things i WANTED to say. very proud of myself for that ♡#had i been with that dude in person i would have killed him on sight)#god things are gonna be so insufferable when my beloved colleague is gone forever ㅠㅠ #he's the only good thing about this fucking company and I'm sure everything's gonna go down in flames #once he's gone #void screams #work stuff

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loverboybrightsideghost · 4 months

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it's gonna be so over for me once i finally get to see wicked life

#as soon as i hear those trumpets i just know im either gonna start internally exploding from not being able to scream or ill just #straight up sob #im not even talking about the movie im talking about the musical #relistening to no one mourns the wicked again and getting fucked up thinking about glinda #'goodness knows the wicked's lives are lonely/ goodness knows the wicked cry alone' SHES TALKING ABOUT HERSEEELLFFF AAAFGGHHHFSGDFSD #oh glindaaaaaaa #now i myself do not think glinda is 'wicked'#i dont think anyone in the story is #but it IS a story about what it means to be wicked #glinda was always the 'good' one #but now at the end. who is alone. who cries alone.#GFGAFDSFGAFDJBHAC #me when the award winning cultural icon musical is really good #my first ? musical obsession and ITS GOING STRONG #its just latent. like so many other things. i am if nothing else a storage of love and enthusiasm for Things.#anyways #bluebird.txt #wicked #she died alone...

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bokuwadekinaiko · 2 months

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cw post / tags. sorry

i don't even know if i have the words

to express this

she's gone

and its all my fault

#~ . 🥀#half my brain wants to scream to cry to do something #the other half wants to lie here forever and wait til i go numb #im in such a state of shock rn i .m gonna throw up #for context #2 hours ago as of writing this i received news that a loved one committed suicide #i was one of the only people that knew she was severely depressed / suicidal i shouldve seen the signs #i shouldve helped her more or called her or told someone #i was a coward. i couldn't.#and because i willingly did nothing to stop someone from dying #i am compliant. therefore . its my fault shes dead #.#this isnt some story where you can rewrite the ending #this is real life #and now i watched someone i love die and will have to live with the guilt of knowing i couldve done something but chose not to #the worst type of person.#i didnt deserve to be friends with someone like her.#no one did. she was smart and witty and oh so stubborn (affectionate)#we both loved the same bands. i don't know if i can ever listen to those bands the same way again #god i cant think #im actually gonna throw up #this is the 2nd time in my life something like this has happened. 3rd if you count all COD not just suicide #knowing something is wrong with a loved one but being too much of a wuss to tell anyone or help them or do anything useful #god im fucking worthless #my friends and family will vent to me and share their problems with me and ill say i care and tell myself i care #but givenmy behavior i don't think i can ever say i can #idoly standing by while people i love suffer #fuckin pathetic #this was a deliberate choice i made. this is all my fault #this is all my fault

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dummerjan · 1 year

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Masha Gessen in an interview with Yuri Dud

#masha gessen #climate change #yuri dud #вДудь #vdud #i've watched this part of the interview last night and finished it in its entirety just now #but i am still stuck on this small segment (which the link leads to)#they perfectly put how i feel and why #the existential horror and feeling that this is it #that i am going to be here for the final days #and seeing people around me go on with their lives as if people my age weren't facing down global collapse in our lifetime #i wouldn't be this worried at least not for myself if i were 50 #20 more years is gonna be umcomfortable but probably doable #but 50? i don't want to be around for that #and that is just thinking of the climate crisis from my very lucky and privileged place of residence #i look at those younger than me and those still being born and i feel like screaming and crying #which is where my antinatalism comes in but how on earth are can anyone around #and consciously (while well aware of the crisis we are already experiencing) decide to reproduce condemning their children #it's like inside of me is one neverending scream of existential terror

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sweetsuenos · 2 months

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I was telling my sister how I passed out my first day in Stardew Valley because I didn't know you had like an energy bar and I got lost in the woods and she was like "?? You didn't look the game up before you played?"

I was like "No, I saw on tiktok you could romance A Woman so I went on the play store and gave them $5 to get it on my phone."

And she goes "um you do know romancing a woman in real life is...free, right? 😐"

#I screamed #like ok u got me there....#to be fair!!! i only go to work or grocery store so like. where am i gonna romance anyone 😭

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sapphicsnzs · 8 months

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currently crying in the library while studying

#self obs #i’m so stressed and anxious i wanna scream #i hate being negative cause i don’t wanna put my energy on anyone else #but fuck i’m so tired of being positive all the time #i literally have been having bad week after bad week and i can’t talk to anyone about it #i also feel like i’m everyone’s emotional sounding board and no one does the same for me and then i have to hold all my frustration in #no one even asks me how i am anymore or cares enough to listen to the answer #this sounds so dumb but everyone around me only talks about themselves #like literally the past two days i’ve hung out with friends and both times people there were like i didn’t even know that was going on #i’m just so tired of feeling like no one cares about me or that i’m wasting my energy when i say a single thing about myself #i have therapy tomorrow and i feel like it’s gonna be a cry through the whole session kinda day #i’ll probably delete this in like 20 minutes cause i’m being stupid

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major-fukkup · 5 months

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Ahhhhhhh there's this guyyyy at work and I've been like 97% sure for a lil bit now that he LIKES likes me and we friended each other on FB recently n he just messaged me asking if I'm married or have a boyfriend and AHHHHH now I have anxiety I told him no bc it's the truth but I don't know what to say next if he asks anything else 💀

#I am actually going to die #real shit #I do like him btw but I don't think I LIKE like him #tho since I've seen this coming for a while now I've thought about what it might be like dating him and #I can't say I think it would be the worst #I just #I am not looking for a relationship right now or possibly ever and I don't see a future with anyone in particular #besides my friends and family of course #like I don't want to reject him 'cause he's super sweet and kind and also funny but also. I suck at relationships. so bad #I know I'm going to fuck it up if we start dating. or. or maybe I won't. but that was my mistake last time I dated someone.#I thought that maybe this time I could do it right. and I didn't. I fucked it up. actually the last three times.#I just don't think I'm meant to have one and now it's not really something I want anymore. but also in the back of my mind I really would #like to have. SOMEONE. who's always there for ME. who I put before myself and who appreciates the things I do for them.#someone to give lil gifts to. maybe flowers if they like them. Valentine's Day dates or a box of candy. kisses goodnight. Idk SOMETHING.#I am gonna think about this real hard. and maybe I'll see if he wants to hang out outside of work sometime. nothing serious just to chill #except that I don't have transportation #just know that I am screaming internally and also it's 2:38 AM and like the worst time to think about important things.

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pepprs · 2 years

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i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!

#purrs #imbeing insane about it i know it’s not that simple / reductive and i will still feel like shit abt myself once im in a relationshp (if i #get to be ♥️) and there are lots of other legitimate reasons to feel shit agtbyiurself. but it’s like no ficking wonder i feel inadequate i #am a 24 year old who lives at home and has never held a hand or whatever next to two 50sometjinf year old married men with pets and phds. of #course i am going to feel inadequate and stupid and lonely. like i canttttt 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 and th w worst part is you can’t just go out into #the world saying that and looking for that it has to find you so i will not join any dating apps or whatever but i don’t fucking go anywhere #so im not going to meet anyone and i knowi am so young and stupid and just having a horrible day that is reminding me of horrors. but the #way i am mentally shoving my whole fist in my mouth. OF COURSE I FEEL LIKE SHIT I DONT HAVE A LIFE PARTNER!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE THAT #SAFETY AND STABILITY AND TRUST AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!!!!!! AND I NEVER HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#delete later #like this is what makes me crazy abt parents and kids too and whyi don’t think ihave kids. bc i think (and i know this is wrong / unhealthy)#it is a primal human need to be mutually someone else’s number 1 person and when you have kids it’s like you’re gonna love your partner more #than the kids and then the kids (read: me) watch that and get fucked up over it. but also that could just be me reacting to the UNSPEAKABLE #psychological damage of being a twin. which again is ridiculous bc it’s n out like abuse i just had to share something with someone else si #since before i was born and ofc there was more like actually kind of abusive stuff on top of it LOL but that aside. idk what im saying i #just feel so crazy. the amount of composure it takes me every day to not start SCREAMING with frustration and envy when i see ppl being #RIGHTFULLY DESERVEDLY visibly confident and loved. like ok valentines grinch go sit in the drainage pond forever please. but it’s so crazy #like how are you supposed to go through the world unaware of how much love you’re missing out on because you’re young and then you realize I #it and then somehow you miss the train and you are scared you are going to d*e alone ♥️ im normal

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ofcrossrcads · 10 months

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oh

#( σut σf cσntrαcts || ooc )#health tw #negativity tw #// none of y'all better be in these tags I just need to scream somewhere where I won't worry anyone #// I've been having moderate to severe pain in the heart-ish area on and off for a bit now #// but like it's getting worse and more frequent #// I've survived a heart attack before but like holy shit now is not the time #// I have so much to get done before the con and then there's the con itself #// I'm going to be SO FUCKING MAD if I have another goddamn heart attack before the con #// also I am very pointedly Not Going to the doctor because I'm pretty sure something is wrong and I can't afford to be in the ICU #// until AFTER galaxy #// Dom and Tim and Emily are going to be there and #// I'm gonna ask Dom to write “I'm here and I stay” for me for a tattoo #// bc that scene is so powerful #// anyways I'm probably having a cardiac event of some sort because OW but I don't have time for that so no I'm not #// I have shit to DO #// no time to die until December lmfao

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aceofspades-sml · 1 year

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not the kind of post I usually make so sorry everyone but oh my god imagine living in a country ruled by people that make you fucking ashamed every day to even be associated with that country. Muslim people I stand with you I am genuinely so sorry this is happening

#ice cold take but there is a fucking difference between wanting to be a 'secular' country or whatever you call it #and straight up forbidding muslim women from wearing anything ever #no that's just fucking islamophobic what the hell #because I have seen people come to school with a big ass catholic cross necklace and nobody said anything #but god forbids muslim people wear a dress #'it's a religious sign we can't allow that in school' karen I am begging you to shut the fuck up #anyway I need to go scream and I am not gonna elaborate more or I'll explode but. if anyone wants me to elaborate I fucking will #also the enxt person I see supporting the government and whatever they are doing. it's on sight.#tw politics #cw politics #political rant

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