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jackiestarsister · 1 year

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OUAT Rewatch: Season 3

Spoilers for future seasons are noted in parentheses.

General thoughts:

~ I don’t like the pattern that the show developed of focusing on a new world and “big bad” antagonist each half-season. I generally prefer when most of the action takes place in Storybrooke, attention is given to the various townsfolk, and the different plotlines overlap.

~ Despite this, the introduction of Neverland for a while makes sense thematically. Peter Pan is full of children alternately rejecting and longing for parents. Neverland serves as metaphorical underworld, a place for the characters to wrestle with their demons and face themselves, and each other, for who they really are.

Episode 3x01 “The Heart of the Truest Believer”

~ This is an episode with no flashbacks, a rare thing in this show. It makes sense given how many different parties there are to juggle at the same time.

~ This episode starts with Emma saying “I can’t be a mother,” and ends with her saying “I’m a mother.” It’s like an encapsulation of her whole character arc in the show!

~ Henry is an interesting contrast against Greg and Tamara. He’s usually framed as the optimistic believer, but here, they are the ones showing blind faith while he asks logical questions.

~ “We don’t ask questions. We just believe in our cause.” So basically, Greg and Tamara are part of a cult.

~ Who are the “countless other people” Emma says they’ve lost since the curse was broken? Is she thinking of the refugees Cora killed? Does Emma know about Johanna and the others Cora killed or transformed in Storybrooke?

~ “The minute I let go of the belief that things will get better is the minute I know they won’t.” That’s an interesting take on optimism and pessimism. Sounds sort of like self-fulfilling prophecy, or the idea that “your focus determines your reality,” as Qui-Gon Jinn says in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Basically, your attitude shapes the world.

~ What are the rules for when/where Gold needs his cane? He needed it in Storybrooke even after bringing magic there, but he leaves it behind and seems to walk fine in Neverland.

~ Greg and Tamara unknowingly working for the Lost Boys doesn’t make a lot of sense, considering how much they supposedly relied on science to counteract magic. I would have preferred for them to be part of an actual network of people opposed to magic.

~ Tamara yells at Henry to run. Did she care about him on some level, despite killing his father?

~ Why does Henry immediately think he can trust the kid that pulled him out of the way? How does he know he isn’t also one of the Lost Boys?

~ Hook encouraging Emma, giving her Neal’s sword, and drinking to Neal’s memory is so sweet. He may deny being sentimental, but he does feel deeply, and he is sensitive to others’ (or at least Emma’s) feelings.

~ Hook’s answer about how long Baelfire was with him is suitably ambiguous, since this show likes to play with time, sometimes glossing over long periods, sometimes inserting stories within stories.

~ Everyone is so out of sync, each following their own ideas for defense against the mermaids. I feel bad for Hook trying to keep his ship steady while his new crewmates just add to the chaos!

~ How would catching mermaids in a net help? They shouldn’t want them on board!

~ Mulan and Neal’s scene feels like it’s more about her than about him. We already know what he did and why he did it, since he explained it two episodes earlier.

~ Those slow-motion shots when the waves crash on the ship are pretty cool!

~ How does Neal know about Rumplestiltskin’s castle? They never lived there when they were together. Did he learn about it from Henry’s book?

~ For someone who hated magic, Neal seems quite adept at detecting it and figuring out ways to use it.

~ Emma and Hook working together at the helm!

~ (Spoiler:) All the talk about outrunning a storm comes to a head in the lyrics of “A Happy Beginning”!

~ The weather-emotion symbolism may be heavy-handed, but honestly, the fights that break out make sense for who the characters are. Snow vs. Regina, David vs. Hook—they all have bad history, and in a crisis, stress can unleash bottled-up emotions.

~ Getting to fly must be such a dream come true for Henry!

~ Emma finally takes a leap of faith, signifying a turning point in her story. And although she says she blames her parents, and the recurring theme in Neverland is that she feels like an orphan, she trusts her parents to save her.

~ Hook is so quick-thinking and pragmatic, and willing to cooperate with the guy he was just fighting, when Emma is in danger.

~ Rumple is self-parodying now!

~ Neal and Rumple both come across items that had to do with both themselves and their fathers.

~ The interior of Rumple’s cabinet looks like it’s decorated with roses!

~ Hook raises his brow at Emma when she says they’ve been at each other’s throats; thankfully, she owns up to her part right away.

~ As they follow the heroes, Hook gives Regina a look as if to say “Oh, what the hell?” or “I’m game.”

~ “It’s so much easier to get people to hate something than to believe.” True words, even though they’re from Pan.

~ What happened to the freaking mermaid?! I’m going to assume that after the storm calmed they turned her back to flesh and set her free.

~ That last scene, with the Lost Boys coming out and surrounding Henry, is pretty terrifying cliffhanger. It lets us imagine the worst, but the following episodes make it seem like they haven’t done much to harm or frighten Henry.

~ This might be one of the best episodes of the show!

Episode 3x02 “Lost Girl”

~ It’s really cool to see so many characters—Emma, Snow, David, Regina, and Hook—share so many scenes. It’s a balancing act for the writing and directing, and it gives the actors plenty of opportunities for their characters to play off each other, in both old and new ways.

~ Emma may have declared herself the leader, but she backs up Hook as their guide, showing great trust in him. This is impressive considering how mistrustful she has been toward him and how untrustworthy he has been toward everyone.

~ Snow’s insistence that “It is never too late” doesn’t really make sense in this kind of context. They could quite plausibly reach Henry after he’s been hurt or killed. But Snow seems to take it back at the end, when she says they found Emma too late.

~ I had forgotten/not realized that Snow’s identity is questioned as much as Emma’s, Hook’s, and Gold’s in this part of the series. In the flashback storyline, she is told not to deny who she is, just like Emma in the present struggles with admitting who she is. While she cannot hear the children’s cries—probably because she knew her parents loved her, and she was practically grown when her father died—she did lose her parents and her home, so she is a type of lost girl.

~ Leaving the campsite to investigate the eerie children’s cries alone is not a smart move.

~ David says “Just name your price” way too easily, as if he doesn’t know how great the price of Rumplestiltskin’s deals can be. He should know better by now.

~ Hook and Regina both call Emma by her first name, something they rarely do. It makes sense that it would be when she’s wrestling with her identity, though I’m not sure it was intentional.

~ Emma’s voice is so flat and emotionless when she admits that she is the Savior. (Spoiler: Her proclamation at the end of season 6 is a huge contrast to this!)

~ Did Hook already know about Emma being the Savior, or did he follow up her admission with questions about what that means?

~ As much as I love Belle, the vision of her that Gold sees in Neverland is really weird. Did they just want to find a way to include Emilie de Ravin, keeping her part of the regular cast? Or was it so Gold would have a character to play off of as he wrestles with his demons? In a way, she is still serving as an angel/devil on his shoulder.

~ Hook mentions “what [he] did to Rufio”! Interesting way to allude to Hook. Since the Lost Boys are framed as villains in this version, it may not have played out the same way.

~ The moments where Pan and Regina simply call off their forces and leave their enemies alive doesn’t make sense. They have no reason to retreat. What was even the point of the battle with the Lost Boys?

~ The show never really delves into matters of governance and what makes someone a rightful ruler/leader. It is presumed that Snow and Charming were rightful because they were noble, heroic people.

~ I wondered why Snow was suddenly wearing an ostentatious necklace. It’s cruel of Rumplestiltskin to take that knowing it was her mother’s. Only, how did she have it at that point, after being driven out of her palace and living on the run for so long?

~ Hook actually hasn’t brought out the rum often up to now. The first time was to wash Emma’s cut, and the second time was to toast Neal. This is only the third time he offers it, but the first time Emma comments on it as a recurring thing.

~ Emma and Hook’s moments are natural and understated, and that’s great. They’re getting used to each other as teammates, and at the end he confirms that he wants to know her better. That last shot of Emma seems to be Hook’s point of view watching her walk away.

~ Appearance vs. reality is actually a theme throughout the episode. Hook warns that Pan looks like a boy but is really a demon. Snow thinks she has found Excalibur when it’s an ordinary sword. Gold has a vision of Belle. Emma and Snow’s identities are both questioned, along with David’s identity as shepherd/prince.

~ I hate the fake adventure/false confidence trope.

~ I like seeing David and the dwarves having tension. They may have helped Snow pursue him, but they really don’t know him, and it makes sense for them to be skeptical of him given how much Snow has put herself at risk because of him.

~ Despite what he has said about honesty being important in their relationship, David deceives Snow in both the past and present timelines of this episode.

Episode 3x03 “Quite a Common Fairy”

~ “You think you’re the diner at the feast, tasing the offerings: a little love, a little darkness. What you don’t realize is you are the feast, and the darkness has tasted you.” That’s an interesting metaphor!

~ Rumplestiltskin is the one who tells Regina that her rage is all she has.

~ Tinker Bell was the first person to give Regina a second chance!

~ Hook says David won’t see summer. Does that mean it’s springtime at this point (assuming Hook is referring to Land Without Magic time)?

~ Robin Hood and Neal also talk about second chances!

~ What did Tinker Bell mean for Regina to do? Have an affair, which could be considered treason for a royal consort? Forsake her responsibilities as queen, wife and stepmother?

~ Why is the Shadow still looking for believers at this point, after Henry has already been found? Does Pan still want to recruit Lost Boys anyway?

~ I want to see a whole series (or at least an arc) about Hook’s various adventures in Neverland, as it’s repeatedly hinted that he has quite a history with Tinker Bell, Pan, and the Lost Boys.

~ “Come with us to our camp,” as if they have one set up already?

~ It’s quite harsh of Tink to say that Regina ruined Robin’s life by not seeking him out. He ended up falling in love with Marian and having a child with her; that was pretty good. (Season spoiler: The way she really ruined his life was when she had Marian put to death.)

~ Why does Pan trust Tink? What is their relationship like? How did she even end up in Neverland?

~ Robin’s lion tattoo is probably a tribute to Richard the Lionheart!

Episode 3x04 “Nasty Habits”

~ Why does Rumple make and put on war paint? It’s true that he uses masks, but what is the practical purpose of making and wearing it?

~ Hook was probably the one who taught Baelfire/Neal to tie an overhand knot!

~ Baelfire was an artist, like Milah! He’s shown sketching as a boy, and the walls of his cave are covered with drawings. He drew the Darling family, their house, and the second star to the right; and he made a new version of Hook’s labels for port and starboard!

~ Baelfire in this episode acts more like Neal as we’ve seen him in adulthood.

~ Rumplestiltskin accurately predicts Belle leaving him someday

~ Regina smiles when he hears what happened to Greg

~ Hook acknowledges that Neal was Emma’s “partner in crime”

~ This may be Rumple and Neal’s first real father-son adventure. It seems a little too easy for them to get the squid ink after Rumple made it sound so impossible to get last season.

~ It seems a bit dissonant to see evidence of multiple points of Neal’s life that all had to do with Neverland

~ Charming insisting “I’m plenty hot”!

~ Hook throwing Charming’s own life philosophy back in his face is so ironic and interesting! But then Hook follows it up with “hope and reality are often worlds apart.”

~ Hook tries to be self-sufficient, lighting the torch on his own, and he looks so annoyed when David steps in to do it for him.

~ Part of Pan’s pipe tune sounds like “Hedwig’s Theme”

~ Strong Lord of the Flies and The Crucible vibes from the Lost Boys’ dancing

~ I’m impressed that Emma is the one to figure out how the star map works. Maybe she really does have a bit of pirate in her!

~ “This is a real family reunion.” The dramatic irony is that all four generations of men are in the same place, yet they don’t reveal it!

~ The irony that generational wisdom was passed from Pan to Neal and then to Emma, about never breaking in unless you have an escape plan.

~ Why can Henry now hear the music? What changed for him? Did his supposedly dreaming about Neal make him suddenly feel unloved?

Episode 3x05 “Good Form”

~ The teaser scene is a good way to show Henry getting more comfortable with the Lost Boys, but it doesn’t have much to do with Hook, and this episode is really focused on him.

~ Flashback Killian looks so incredibly happy when he sets out on his mission with his brother.

~ Snow watches Emma to see how she reacts to Hook’s flirting!

~ How many times does Hook call David “mate” in all? Seems a little too much.

~ Even Captain Liam Jones whoops in delight when the ship flies!

~ Killian used to tie his hair with a huge blue hairbow!

~ Killian expresses the hope that they’ll “never have to bury another sailor at sea,” but ends up adding to that number. Kind of like Frankenstein trying to reverse death and instead causing more of it.

~ Even Pan knows that Hook is good at surviving!

~ The cliff, rope and possibility of the person at the top killing the one climbing up give big Princess Bride vibes. When Hook says “You were supposed to wait,” I really expected David to reply “I hate waiting”!

~ It’s fitting that Regina’s chosen method of communicating with Henry is to use mirrors!

~ Henry using his sword to draw a home!

~ Why does Henry drop and break the mirror?! Keep that magical item, kid!

~ Charming’s triumphant musical motif when he’s healed!

~ Emma, Regina and Snow each pulling out their different weapons when they think an enemy is approaching is both funny and really cool!

~ Hook’s reaction after Emma kisses him = he is stunned! I agree with whoever posted the theory that that was the moment he realized he was actually falling for her.

~ The cut from his old crew cheering “Captain Jones” to Hook drinking alone is a striking contrast. He no longer has a crew following his lead, but he has true friends and allies and is willing to follow their lead.

~ Hook really is layered, in the sense that his actual motives are hard to figure out. At the end, there’s still ambiguity about how much of his good actions were because of his ideals of honor and how much were in an effort to win Emma’s favor.

~ Hook’s frequent tangling with poison is actually in keeping with Peter Pan, where he tries to poison a cake for the Lost Boys and Peter’s medicine.

Episode 3x06 “Ariel”

~ Did Snow lose consciousness when she jumped into the water, or was she resigned to drowning?

~ If Snow’s past experience with mermaids consisted of Ariel, she should have been more sympathetic to the ones that attacked Hook’s ship!

~ Regina trying to teach Emma about magic feels like a sudden development, and isn’t explored for the rest of the episode. There’s been no discussion of Emma’s abilities since coming to Neverland.

~ Hook, Snow, and David’s conversation about the nature of secrets turns out to be setup for what they have to do later!

~ It makes sense for Snow to blurt out the truth: she gave away Regina’s secret as a child, and lying is pretty against her nature. It would probably be even harder to attempt to lie to her daughter, who is already a pretty mistrustful person.

~ Flashback Snow affirms Ariel’s believe in love at first sight, but she herself denounced that as a reality when she met Charming.

~ Rumple got rid of his war paint

~ Why do Pan and Rumple say that Pan can only die if Rumple also dies? How does that work?

~ Pan foreshadows Rumple and Belle having a child! But how does he know what she looks like? And Peter Pan, boy of eternal youth, talking about a woman’s fertility, while eating eggs, is just weird.

~ So above-the-knee skirts are acceptable formalwear in Eric’s kingdom? Is that just so Ariel can show off the fact that she has legs? And is that a tail on Snow’s dress? Where did they even get these fancy outfits—did they steal, or use Ariel’s shipwreck treasures to buy or barter?

~ Did Snow give Ariel some dance lessons before they crashed the ball?

~ The dancing and talking scene is so awkward, as everyone else is watching while they discuss such personal matters.

~ There’s some irony in Regina being the one to save Rumple from an imposter, when she herself impersonates someone else in this episode.

~ “Happy endings always start with hope.” That’s Snow White’s philosophy in its simplest form.

~ “I can’t ask him to give up his dream for someone he just met.” Isn’t Eric asking her to leave behind her life for him?

~ Snow’s attitude about being open to love is fleshed out more in her conversation with Ariel than with Emma: “Even if you get hurt, you’ll know you tried.”

~ Making Regina the Ursula stand-in is weird. Lana Parilla does a fine job imitating the animated villain’s way of speaking and moving, but story-wise, it’s just weird.

~ The confrontation between Regina and Snow on the dock doesn’t make sense. Regina turning Snow into a mermaid in order to kill her more easily … just doesn’t make sense when she’s sitting on a dock. Snow could have jumped into the water and caused Regina to lose her trail.

~ I have to admit, though: Ariel using the fork as a weapon is great!

~ Hook only has a few scenes in this episode, but he shows so much emotion and character in those moments focused on him! He is so uncomfortable, yet resigned, about sharing his feelings about Emma with the group. Then, he looks so concerned and sad watching Neal hug Emma, while Snow is happy, and David is probably trying to decide whether he likes Neal or Hook better as a potential match for his daughter. And when he overhears Neal and Emma, you can see in his face and the cinematography that this is when he really starts to view him as a rival.

~ I want to know what happened when Neal crossed the rock bridge and faced Hook, Snow, and David. He’s barely interacted with Emma’s parents, but they know how much Emma and Henry care about him; and it his first face-to-face meeting with Hook since he was a kid. (Hook was unconscious when Neal saw him in New York, and Hook had just tried to kill his father, so it wasn’t much of a reunion.) How did they greet each other?

Episode 3x07 “Dark Hollow”

~ This is another episode that doesn’t use flashbacks, except at the very beginning to fill in a gap.

~ There are scattered references to believing in this episode, without much of a consistent theme: Mother Superior encourages Belle to believe in herself; Snow tells Charming he didn’t believe in their love; and Regina questions Gold’s belief in Belle.

~ The Darling brothers’ car has a teddy bear keychain hanging from the rearview mirror!

~ Hook and David are both feeling so awkward, as Hook has become a third wheel/part of a love triangle and David is being shunned by his wife.

~ The dwarves make a good point! Trouble seems to follow Snow and Charming like a magnet.

~ The Hook and Neal scene is so awkwardly written. Why does Hook throw it out there? And “dalliance,” while suitably old-fashioned, sounds like it could mean so much more than just a kiss. Did he really not realize Neal didn’t know? Or did he want to make Neal jealous?

~ “You came to Neverland on a pirate ship through a portal, but you draw the line at a magic coconut?” “Fair enough.” Indeed!

~ Ariel says “Look at this stuff!”

~ Considering that the show’s main theme is hope, it’s odd that they don’t talk about that aspect of the myth of Pandora when they introduce her box as a magical item.

~ It makes sense that after the secrets were shared in the previous episode, their repercussions need to be worked out in this one.

~ Neal’s reaction to Hook keeping and passing on his cutlass is the same as Emma’s: “I didn’t know you were sentimental.” He totally is, he just doesn’t want to admit it!

~ Emma and Hook’s scene is excellent! Honesty looks good on him, and gratitude looks good on her. He shows faith in her abilities. As serious as he is, he shows his arrogance in his certainty that he’ll win her heart, and he shows his lightheartedness at the end.

~ Ariel closes the door on their way out of Gold’s shop, but it seems to be open when they pass by it.

~ Snow’s declaration to David has so much emotion—anger as well as love, which is an unusual combination.

~ Snow and Charming’s theme sounds so sad when they hug.

~ Why does Hook ask about how to ignite the candle? Does he not have some method of starting fires, like flint, or his hook?

~ Ariel asks “Who is she?” as if the men’s sister must be someone known to them.

~ It’s sad that Baelfire sacrificed himself to prevent the Darling family from being torn apart, only for that to happen anyway. Wendy went back to look for him, and John and Michael must have spent some time there since they're still young men.

~ I still wish Greg and Tamara’s network had actually been dedicated to destroying magic. Then John and Michael’s involvement would have made a lot more sense.

~ Looks like Pan could have let Wendy live in relative comfort in that treehouse furnished like her old nursery, but instead he keeps her in a cage just because.

~ “It wasn’t the lighter we were fighting over.” Actually, they were, since Emma was the one who lit the candle!

~ Emma’s reprimand of the two men makes sense. Just a few days earlier, Neal was engaged to someone else, and then she thought he was dead; and Hook alternated between enemy and fair-weather ally. They have had no time to think or talk about what their relationships will be like when the crisis is over. Emma is nowhere near ready to “choose” either of them.

~ How does Tinker Bell knowing Baelfire/Neal fit in with her storyline with Regina? He was there a century or two before the curse was cast, but Tinker Bell only lost her wings about a decade or two before it was cast. Did she live in or visit Neverland even before losing her wings?

~ How long did Regina and Gold wait for Ariel on the beach? Her journeys and her adventure in Storybrooke must have taken her hours, possibly a whole day and/or night.

Episode 3x08 “Think Lovely Thoughts”

~ They did a good job casting an adult who looks like Pan and a child who looks like Rumple/Gold!

~ Why does Rumple have a Scottish accent when his father has an English accent?

~ Rumple’s father teaching him about the power of names!

~ Emma is the one who says “Family means being together!”

~ So when Baelfire got a bean to take him and his father to another land to be a family, history was repeating itself!

~ So apparently Hook told Emma about his brother at some point offscreen. I would have loved to see that conversation.

~ Rumple/Gold calling someone a coward is such a pot-calling-kettle-black move!

~ Emma’s reaction to Rumple/Gold agreeing to something just because Neal asks is great

~ David throwing Hook a knife and saying, “Here, in case your good looks fail you” is quick but hilarious!

~ Neal saying his father abandoned him, in front of his father, hits so much harder when you know Rumple’s father did the same to him!

~ If the Shadow predates Peter Pan, what is its origin?

~ Skull Rock is such an obvious Underworld—not only is it full of skulls and an hourglass, traditional symbols of death, but they also have to cross water in a boat to get to it, like Charon!

~ That musical buildup as Rumple/Gold enters Skull Rock is different from the score’s usual style, and it sounds epic!

~ Pan and Rumple are actually the same type of person: they consider themselves weak as they are (which may cause self-fulfilling prophecy), so they gather magic to make themselves feel powerful.

~ Pan shedding the responsibility of fatherhood is actually in keeping with J. M. Barrie’s story, where he wants to stop play-acting as the Lost Boys’ father.

~ Pan’s formerly Scottish accent comes out when he says “just as we planned”!

~ Why aren’t the spinsters who raised Rumple given names? Why are they never mentioned? They gave him a decent home and taught him a trade; they were the closest thing he had to family until he married Milah.

~ It is strange and unsettling to have a place of death set in a place of eternal youth.

~ “Any rule can be broken” = Pan’s life motto, and possibly a big influence on Rumple

~ This is when Regina and Emma really face the consequences of lying to Henry in the past

Episode 3x09 “Save Henry”

~ Why does Regina’s preservation spell have a time limit? For Daniel it endured for years.

~ Emma finding her identity as a mother in Neverland and becoming a mother-figure to the Lost Boys is so much like Wendy in Peter Pan!

~ It is so sweet to see Regina and Henry’s first meeting!

~ Hook pulling Felix down when he stands up to Emma says so much!

~ What story was Regina going to tell Henry on her first try? She is cut off after “there was …”

~ Dr. Whale confirms that Henry always had a strong heart!

~ I’m surprised Regina would let Snow White, the person she hates most, hold Henry, the one she loves most!

~ The hospital seems to be bustling with pediatric patients. Were they there during the whole curse?

~ Gold supposedly didn’t remember his old identity until he heard Emma’s name; but he really does act as if he knows what he did when Regina confronts him.

~ When the baby isn’t crying and the camera shows a good view of his face, he really does look like kid Henry!

~ Although Regina’s motherly love shines through in this episode, she shows that she still lacks remorse for her past wrongdoings. In her view, they were worthwhile because they led to her adopting Henry.

~ It seems a bit too easy for Regina to take Henry’s heart back from Pan.

~ Do the mothers just leave Pan on the ground? Why don’t Emma and/or Regina try to kill him, or capture him in Pandora’s box then?

~ Hook calls Henry the guest of honor! And gives him the captain’s quarters! That’s their first direct interaction, instead of just watching each other interact with the others, and it’s wonderful!

~ I’m extremely surprised that they would leave Henry alone. Even if there was really nothing to fear, I would expect at least one of his three parents to want to sit up with him.

~ What made Neal change his attitude toward Rumple/Gold? Was it learning that Pan was his father and had abandoned him as a child?

~ What does Rumple/Gold mean when he says “Blood magic works both ways”? Did Regina’s protection spell involve blood magic?

~ Gold telling Regina that she raised her son well is such unexpected praise from her teacher!

~ Who is the “bo’sun” that Hook calls out to? David? Neal?

~ David revisits Emma’s speech at the start of the season, and expresses, without explicitly saying it, just how proud he is of her becoming a leader and uniter of people.

~ Tinker Bell is absent this whole episode until her scene with Wendy on the Jolly Roger. Their interaction is sweet, but it raises a lot of questions: Did Wendy and her brothers ever interact with Hook and/or Tink during her time in Neverland?

~ (Season spoiler:) Neal is so sweet telling Henry that he has a dad, and always will; but it’s hard to swallow that if you know who Henry really is and what happens to Neal.

~ Jared Gilmore does such a good job of playing Pan, it’s scary!

~ Seeing the beginning of Regina’s relationship with Henry makes their interactions in the next two episodes even more heart-wrenching!

Episode 3x10 “The New Neverland”

~ Ariel and Belle look like they coordinated their outfits to be reverse colors.

~ Eric chopping fish as a nod to “Le Poisson” is funny, but how does he feel about Ariel being a mermaid?

~ Snow and Ariel reunited! I’m glad they showed that, even though there was no dialogue.

~ I was wondering where Wendy got that bathrobe/dressing gown; a while later I realized, it is the same one Baelfire wore when the Shadow abducted him and Hook rescued him! Either Hook must have kept it on his ship all those years, or Baelfire must have left it in his cave and got it back during this trip. Either way, one of them must have offered it to Wendy during the journey back!

~ What happened to all the Lost Boys that came to Storybrooke? Where did they stay that night? Did Emma and the others keep their promise to find them homes? Did some of them go to England with the Darlings? Or do they become vagrants in the Enchanted Forest after the next curse?

~ Good on Snow for giving Regina credit in front of everyone. She didn’t do that after returning from the Enchanted Forest.

~ David does the same thing in this episode’s past and present storylines: encourages the women he loves not to lose the joy of the present moment due to fear of the future.

~ Hook looks so sad and wistful watching Emma with Henry. He may act nonchalant with Neal, but he is really sad about the decision he is making.

~ Hook deciding to back off and let Emma and Neal have a chance, for Henry’s sake, is significant because it’s the opposite of what he did when he and Milah fell in love. He didn’t care about taking her away from her child and his father. Hook is trying to do right by Henry, as he did not do for Baelfire.

~ Earlier in the season, Emma said she couldn’t think about herself and the men who love her because they needed to focus on saving Henry; but even now that Henry is safe, she says she can’t think about herself because of what he just went through.

~ Why was Medusa living in the Enchanted Forest, rather than Greece or some equivalent? Are there other gorgons, as David refers to her, in their land?

~ Did they make a reference to The Lightning Thief when David talks about sending Medusa’s head in a box?

~ David saying he knew what he was getting himself into, after the way he fell in love with Snow on an adventure, is pretty sweet, and reassuring!

~ Neal sitting by himself is made more awkward by the fact that he’s behind Emma’s parents and across from his father and almost-stepmother.

~ David and Emma finally have a good father-daughter moment, full of parental wisdom and free of crisis or tragedy!

~ How can the Blue Fairy be (seemingly) killed so easily? Does she have no defensive magic?

~ David mentions Frederick! That’s a nice callback to a minor character.

~ If Pan and Henry switched bodies, they should be speaking with each other’s accents, not their own. Henry, at least, wouldn’t be speaking with a different accent; Pan would try to imitate his.

~ Snow and David talk about having a child in both the past and the present! The flashback carries such a poignant message, and is relatable to any parent or potential parent who has worried about raising a child in a world with so much suffering. And Snow is right about how they’ll always have someone or something threatening them.

~ Neal, Hook, and Tink could be their own trio! They’re all Neverland veterans, and apparently they all knew each other long ago.

~ Emma’s conversation with Snow and David is a nice contrast against their conversation at the start of the season. She is more patient and respectful toward them, and even affirms that they are good parents, even though she disagrees with them.

~ What Emma says about being the Savior sums up her attitude across the series. At this point, she more or less accepts her identity as the Savior and the responsibility that comes with that role; but in the second half of this season, after she has a taste life without that responsibility, she keeps trying to run away from it.

Episode 3x11 “Going Home”

~ The structure of this episode works differently than any other thus far: instead of one storyline told through flashbacks, it’s more like a series of vignette flashbacks. This spreads the focus across the whole cast of characters: the Charmings, Hook and Tink, Henry, Rumple and Belle, and finally Emma. It feels fitting for a mid-series finale.

~ Peter Pan calling something “child’s play” is a strange choice of words.

~ If Pan is telling the truth about never loving Rumple, then his appeal to him at Skull Rock was all a lie.

~ (Spoiler:) Tinker Bell talks about the Black Fairy, who apparently was exiled by the Blue Fairy.

~ Tinker Bell’s storyline really doesn’t line up with everyone else’s. Flashback Hook speaks as though they just learned about the dagger from Baelfire, but Tink says she lost her wings a long time ago, which would place the scene sometime after Regina became queen, only a few years or a decade or so before the Dark Curse was cast.

~ It’s interesting to see a battle in a church. For one thing, the shadow tries to get through stained glass windows. For another, the name Killian means “church,” and this is one of his more heroic moments!

~ David is the one who pulls Hook back to safety!

~ This might have been Neal’s first direct (onscreen) interaction with the Blue Fairy since she gave him that bean when he was a child. But they were in the same scene when August became Pinocchio again. Did she recognize him then?

~ Possible inconsistency: In Episode 2x19 Hook said Cora gave him the cuff, but now Pan says he made it.

~ How and when did Gold get the cuff from Greg and Tamara before they went to Neverland? By the time they all found out the truth about them, he was too distraught by the news of Neal’s death. And the cuff disappeared from Regina when the Blue Fairy healed her.

~ (Spoiler Alert:) Knowing that the Black Fairy is Rumple’s mother makes his use of her wand to defeat his father more ironic.

~ “Your happy ending may not be what you expect, but that is what will make it so special.” That is so true of real life!

~ So, since Ruby is inexplicably absent (I’m guessing the actress didn’t want to keep coming back), they have Granny use her wolf senses instead?

~ I don’t like the device of simply freezing everyone. It feels like a weak excuse so they can see the important interaction but not be able to intervene. And it takes away the actors’ ability to react openly. But you can see Belle reacting slightly to Rumple, realizing what is about to happen.

~ It seriously seemed like Rumple was going to cut off his own hand, which would have ben both an echo of his self-harm during the Ogre Wars and his amputation of Hook’s hand.

~ Rumple talks about wanting to give Baelfire/Neal a chance at happiness, but that was never really his priority. He wanted to find him so he could apologize and try to start over.

~ I was wondering where Rumple’s dagger and shadow were! Nice way to bring that back. Although I still don’t understand why Pan’s death required Rumple’s death.

~ This may be reading too much into a running gag, but Grumpy announcing “It’s here” whenever a curse approaches kind of makes sense for his character: his pessimistic personality has him watching for any approaching danger or impending doom.

~ Hook jokes about preparing their souls for death, and how his will take some time (spoiler: ironic knowing about the Underworld arc)!

~ When Regina is explaining the curse to Emma, there are two brief cuts to Hook, where you can see him reacting to the news that he has to be separated from Emma and possibly never see her again.

~ Couldn’t Hook and Neal also have escaped the new curse, since they weren’t victims of the first one? Did they decide to return to their realm just so they wouldn’t lose their memories? Or did they not want to force Emma to choose between them in that moment?

~ Emma’s second chance with Henry is such a “be careful what you wish for” moment. She is getting the kind of life she spoke about in the previous episode and the start of this one, a life free from the responsibility of being the Savior; but the price is being away from the rest of her family and friends, and that devastates her.

~ The shot of the smoke overclouding the storybook!

~ It looks like Emma and Henry had to leave behind everything—even the belongings she has always held onto, like her baby blanket.

~ Emma and Henry seem pretty well-to-do in their new lives. Does she have more money now?

~ From the end of this episode through the rest of the season, Hook now serves as the prophet, just as Henry was in Season 1, calling Emma back to her true identity and relationship with her family and kingdom.

Episode 3x12 “New York City Serenade”

~ This episode has so many callbacks to the pilot episode that then diverge from how that one went: opening shots of a rider in a hurry, only for it to be a non-emergency; Emma meeting a man in a restaurant, only for it to be a steady boyfriend rather than a stranger.

~ Why is David back in his bloodstained shirt from the day the first curse was cast, while the others have new outfits?

~ The curse was also a “be careful what you wish for” moment for Snow and David, since they had been talking about returning to the Enchanted Forest, yet when they return Snow is so dejected when she says, “We’re back.”

~ “Emma Swan always gets her man.” We’ll see if that holds true!

~ Since Hook and Emma didn’t meet until after she broke the first curse, it’s interesting to see him interact with her as an unbeliever. He’s in the same situation as Henry, Jefferson and August in Season 1. His words sound very much like The Matrix.

~ It can’t have been very long since Snow and Aurora last saw each other, maybe two months or so. How did Aurora and Philip defeat the ogres and “take back the kingdom” so quickly?

~ The dialogue is a little clunky in an effort to impart information about the time skip, like Emma’s reason for moving to New York and her first date with Walsh.

~ Adding characters like Tamara and Walsh, to who try to ensnare the heroes with romance, may seem like mere soap opera drama, but it actually is in keeping with fairy tales involving a true spouse and a false spouse. Some examples are Odette and Odile in Swan Lake, or Una and Duessa in The Faerie Queene. For a biblical example, it’s like the metaphor of Israel forsaking their relationship with God to pursue love with pagan gods/nations, who end up causing harm and destruction. It takes a prophet to remind them of their past relationship and call them back to it.

~ David and Snow are so disappointed that Hook is leaving! Despite their rocky start, after their week together in Neverland, they really saw him as a friend.

~ (Spoiler:) Hook is so emphatic about the Jolly Roger being his home and his need to find it! That speaks volumes to his actions during the time skip and what is revealed in the season finale.

~ Neal may have suffered the greatest loss out of any of them: he lost his father, lover, and son all in the same day.

~ Henry is so sweet, but his attitude is almost the opposite of how he was in Season 1. Instead of insisting that something is wrong in his life, he chides Emma for always looking for something wrong.

~ Emma’s dilemma in this episode is a relatable one: whether to stay where she is, in her comfortable life, or leave it for something that is more difficult but also more true and satisfying.

~ Hook has seen Emma take a literal leap of faith, at the start of this season, so it makes sense that he would be hopeful about her doing it again.

~ Emma chaining Hook by the wrist and him calling “Swan!” is just like during their beanstalk adventure!

~ Belle persists in hoping that Rumple can come back!

~ Regina refers to “our castle” so soon after David and Snow talked about whether it was hers or theirs!

~ Who are the mounted knights riding with the others?

~ Hook’s expression when she says he hasn’t changed = she is wrong, and has no idea how much! I think in that moment, he considers telling her about what he did to find her, but then decides against it.

~ “There was nothing for me in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I stay?” The implication of his words, with such a long, serious gaze, is clear: he had nothing without Emma.

~ It’s no wonder Hook pours another for himself: he has to sit and wait while Emma talks to the man she now loves.

~ Emma asks Henry to give Hook a hand! Pun intended?

~ Emma taking her red jacket makes sense, because it is pretty much the only thing she still owns that she had during her time in Storybrooke.

~ The part when Emma sees Mary Margaret is so well directed and shot! And that maternity outfit is so cute!

Episode 3x13 “Witch Hunt”

~ That may be the longest teaser yet: three separate scenes before the title card!

~ In the season 2 finale, it was revealed that Blue Fairy/Mother Superior had figured out how to make a remembering potion, using a hair from Pinocchio’s head. Why could she not do that for Henry to restore his memories? Did it only work for victims of the curse with double lives? At this point, Henry practically has the same situation, with fake memories of a normal life.

~ David smiles proudly when Mary Margaret says—not untruthfully—that she committed banditry!

~ So, this curse made Regina the mayor again?

~ Regina using magic to lift rocks = Star Wars tribute!

~ Who was in on the fact that Emma and Regina’s fight was fake? Did Leroy/Grumpy, Belle, Archie and the others know?

~ Is throwing her drinking glass at the mirror just Regina’s usual way of dealing with anger?

~ It’s funny that Regina is the one who thinks to make Leroy/Grumpy the town crier!

~ This episode kind of plays with how (over)dramatic the characters can be. Emma, Regina, and Leroy/Grumpy all play up their usual roles in order to deceive the townsfolk.

~ I wish we saw more of David, Hook, and Robin working together. As the romantic interests of the show’s three main characters, they’re probably the three most famous, heroic, and romantic male characters in this show!

~ I also wish we saw more of the Merry Men as a group. And why is Mulan not with them? I know she comes back later, so her absence is probably explained away, but just how brief was her stay with them?

~ So, do flying monkey bites work the same way as werewolf and vampire bites? If you’re bitten you become one?

~ “She couldn’t be prouder of you.” Regina is talking about herself, not Emma!

~ In an odd way, Regina and Henry are going through what Emma and her parents have been going through: they’re physically together, but emotionally distant, because at least one party does not know/remember their previous relationship.

~ The way Regina talks about the Wicked Witch and Hook refers to Emma as the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming makes me wonder how aware all the Enchanted Forest characters are of the fact that they are considered fictional characters in the Land Without Magic.

~ Rumple/Gold is back where he was at the start of the series, insane and locked in a cage.

~ How long was Zelena in the castle? What was she waiting around for? She had no way of knowing Regina would return from the Land Without Magic.

Episode 3x14 “The Tower”

~ It feels fitting to have an episode focused on David/Charming’s feelings about fatherhood. Mary Margaret/Snow is generally a more central character than him, so she has had more screen time with Emma, and her feelings about motherhood were explored when she and Emma were stranded in the Enchanted Forest together. Also, one of David’s primary characteristics is his “fearless bravery,” so it is very humanizing to see him wrestle with his emotions as he faces a future he cannot control.

~ In the dream sequence, Emma says “You found me,” just like Snow and Charming always say to each other, but it feels totally different.

~ Did Charming pick up Hook’s drinking habit?!

~ How did Robin actually help Regina break into the castle? He hardly did anything, just accompanied her.

~ “Speak of the handsome devil” sounds more fitting for Rumple or Hook, or even Zelena, Regina or Cora. Even what Zelena then says, that she’s there to make their lives “as easy as possible,” sounds like a devil’s temptation.

~ It is strange for them to hire someone they barely know, when they know someone in the town is the Wicked Witch.

~ Did Zelena actually know Johanna, or was that just a lie to get her in Snow’s good graces?

~ I love Emma and Hook’s music motif!

~ It feels weird to have a classic fairy tale play out post-curse, for a character who is aware of the Land Without Magic.

~ The Wicked Witch owns a bicycle!

~ The whole conflict centered around fear is reminiscent of Frozen—and David actually shouts “Let it go” to Rapunzel!

~ Charming saying they should build a nursery at the end of the episode shows so much growth from when he saw it in his dream! It’s an act of faith that their child will be alright and that they’ll be together.

~ Regina seems pleased when they find out Rumplestiltskin is alive!

Episode 3x15 “Quiet Minds”

~ It sounds as though Hook and Neal had a chance to talk in the Enchanted Forest, and that Neal expressed his ideas, even before Hook’s departure and Neal’s conversation with Snow and Charming. I wonder if Hook asked Neal to go with him to find the Jolly Roger?!

~ So, Rumple/Gold can run now? What happened to his limp?

~ It’s nice to see Snow and Emma finally interact directly with Belle, and actually look supportive of her relationship with Gold.

~ The fact that Emma can communicate a request to Hook just with a look, and that he understands and grants it, says a lot about how much they understand each other. It is a pretty big request, for him to help Belle and Rumple/Gold given his history with them. (Spoiler: His apology to Belle is so flippant here, I’m glad to know he gives a better, sincere one later on.)

~ It’s nice to see Neal and Belle finally spend some time together. They never really got a proper introduction, since she was suffering from amnesia and false memories when he arrived in Storybrooke.

~ It is ironic that Baelfire/Neal, who was so determined to rid his father of the darkness and magic, is now willing to use darkness and magic. This episode shows him doing some of the same things his father did, going to extreme lengths for his son’s sake.

~ Belle says Neal and Emma had “true love.”

~ Emma saying “We’re not in Manhattan anymore” = a twist on the line from The Wizard of Oz?

~ The idea of Leroy/Grumpy (and presumably the other dwarves) taking Henry fishing is cute!

~ That book looks beautiful, not “befitting the Dark One.”

~ This is the first episode since Season One that goes into the lore of the Dark One. Why are Belle and Neal not curious about how Lumiere knows so much about it?

~ Is Regina’s blue scarf significant? It’s such a bold color, which is rare for her.

~ Why is Robin near the farmhouse? Was he tracking the Wicked Witch on his own, or did the heroes give him an update?

~ Neal wanting Henry to know who he is may seem presumptuous, but kind of makes sense, because Neal knows what it’s like to think your father abandoned you. He wouldn’t want Henry to feel the way he felt.

~ Emma asking Hook to stay with Neal is kind of a big deal! They never resolved their complicated triangle of relationships.

~ I love Hook and Neal’s conversation! They’re finally seeing each other as friends again.

~ Belle and Neal talking about having the courage to die for one’s family … such sad foreshadowing!

~ David is the first one to get Emma to admit that she hopes she and Henry can go back to their lives in New York.

~ Why is it that Gold can hear multiple voices, but not Neal?

~ Regina has challenged the label of “Evil Queen," but here she says “The name served me well.”

~ I generally like Robin Hood, but he is way too quick to act all romantic with Regina. At that point, he barely knows her, and if he truly knows her reputation, how can he say the stories were exaggerated?

~ This is the first time Belle comments on what Rumple did by making the Dark Curse. She refers to it as a “mistake,” because it “condemned countless people to misery.” But it did reunite him with his son, so it kind of makes sense that Neal would have the same recklessness seeking a way back to his own son.

~ Emma and Neal laughing over their similarly failed love affairs is pretty funny. It’s the first time we’ve seen them really relax around each other since they reunited at this stage in their lives.

~ “I just want you to be happy, even if it isn’t with me.” For all his immaturity at times, Neal really does love Emma and want what’s best for her, regardless of whether he is part of that.

~ “You can’t hang on to both.” That is Rumple/Gold’s conflict in a nutshell, torn between his love of power and his love of his son.

~ Rumple/Gold actually taught his son something good, the power of sacrifice. But since that cost him his life, Gold probably regretted imparting that lesson. (Spoiler: Maybe that contributed to his character regression?)

~ The characters learning Zelena’s identity as the Wicked Witch would have been more impactful if it were also when it was revealed to the audience.

~ Cutting from Gold mourning his son to Robin Hood playing with his son is really effective!

~ That whole montage is almost as emotional as the actual death scene, and helps to show how the cast really is like an extended family. Regina now realizes she has a chance at new love, both romantic and maternal. Snow and Charming comfort Belle and Hook, who they’re not exactly related to but both had connections with Rumple/Gold and Neal.

Episode 3x16 “It’s Not Easy Being Green”

~ This episode’s title is way too silly in contrast with the serious opening. Neal’s burial is so beautifully solemn, as everyone who had a connection to him helps to bury him. The only thing I don’t like is the presence of random extras; why not just have some of the dwarves or other recognizable friends there instead?

~ The cut between the first shovelful and Rumple’s underground cage is so effective!

~ Emma and Hook’s conversation is one of their best. It starts out with their usual quips, but it then becomes quite serious, talking about vengeance and grief, and then offering and accepting great help and great responsibility. It’s not at all flirtatious, and not a word is said about Emma’s feelings or relationships with either Hook or Neal. It’s more like Emma and Hook have reached the point of trusting each other and being comfortable enough to confide, advise, and help each other.

~ What did Tinker Bell do after returning to the Enchanted Forest, and what does she do after being pulled back to Storybrooke? Did the Blue Fairy reinstate her, or whatever was needed for her to serve as a fairy again? Does she live with the nuns now?

~ This is the second time a character in this show has said “prophesized,” when I think the correct verb is actually “prophesied.”

~ I think the revelation about Zelena’s relationship to Cora and Regina would have been more impactful if it took place in this episode, rather than at the start of this half-season. When they meet in the Enchanted Forest, Regina does not have much of an emotional reaction, and the audience does not relate to the characters’ reactions in the moment because it’s been known for a while.

~ They’ve mostly stuck to the Hollywood version of The Wizard of Oz (which is annoying to a book nerd like me), but they take the silver color of the shoes from the book.

~ How did Rumplestiltskin not know about Zelena? He has the gift of foresight, and he knew that Cora’s daughter would be the one to cast his Dark Curse.

~ Why would Rumple tell Zelena about the Curse he plans to cast? He never seems to have told Regina. In fact, Regina traded it to Maleficent for the Sleeping Curse, as shown in the pilot episode.

~ “I don’t think that a sleeping curse would be good for the baby.” No kidding!!

~ What is with all the creepy closeups of Zelena, and of Rumple/Gold when they interact?

~ Why would Robin be so bold as to ask to read Regina’s letter, which she clearly is upset about? They barely know each other, why would he expect her to confide in him?

~ It’s so good to finally see Hook and Henry interact! Up until this half of the season, they had barely even spoken to each other.

~ It is way past sundown when Zelena goes to the town square for the showdown.

~ Zelena being in the clock tower seems like a nod to Wicked!

~ Why does Zelena bother with flying on a broomstick when she can just teleport?

~ Regina seems to be branching out in her wardrobe by adding vivid, bright-colored accessories. In the last episode it was a deep blue scarf. In this one it’s red gloves. Is this a sign that she is growing out of her Evil Queen persona?

Episode 3x17 “The Jolly Roger”

~ They totally stole the idea of a fake army in a road robbery from BBC’s Robin Hood!

~ This is the first time we’ve seen Hook in armor!

~ “This is a way of life. You have to fully commit to it.” Sounds like something a Jedi or martial arts master would say to their pupil. But Emma’s reply, “Not a problem,” gives a kind of false impression: she is only willing to improve and embrace her magical skills as a means to an end, not as a way of life.

~ The light reflecting off the water shines around Hook, making it look like he’s surrounded by light! Coincidence? Possibly, but still quite symbolic!

~ Hook saying “my reasons” when Emma and Henry are framed by him and Mr. Smee = they are both of his reasons!

~ Hook gets so serious and heated when he hears news of the Jolly Roger. He really does care passionately about his ship. But Smee is also onto something: what Hook says about the ship is also how he feels about Emma being gone from him.

~ Hook and Henry’s little exchange about cheating says a lot about what Hook is wrestling with in this episode! He could get away with nobody knowing about how he betrayed Ariel, but he chooses to come clean.

~ Blackbeard hardly has any beard to speak of!

~ Hook actually says he’ll “never give up the Jolly Roger without a fight”! If only he knew.

~ The shadows on the sail while they’re fighting are a clear reference to Disney’s Peter Pan!

~ If Hook and his ship were outside of the curse when it was cast, how did his spyglass end up in Gold’s shop?

~ Why would Eric being underwater necessarily mean he was dead? Isn’t it possible that he could have found a way to be underwater, just as she found a way to be on land?

~ The way Zelena wants Hook to remove Emma’s powers is really twisted in itself: it would be a kiss of betrayal.

~ Why did Zelena send Walsh to seduce Emma eight months before the curse was cast? Did she already anticipate Emma being a threat to her?

~ Emma actually expects/hopes that Hook will join her family for dinner! But now that she does, he pulls away, literally and figuratively, not wanting to hurt her.

~ Regina and Snow actually sit side by side for dinner! Henry may not realize how momentous this is, but it’s probably the first time he has all these family members with him enjoying a meal together!

~ Hook using the spyglass he retrieved earlier is a small but fitting setup/payoff. He is so wistful watching Emma with her family, seeing her so genuinely happy—he probably has never seen her so happy up close.

Episode 3x18 “Bleeding Through”

~ Regina makes the same move that Charming did in the first episode, throwing her knife the same way he threw his sword, only for their enemy to vanish!

~ It’s a mark of how much Regina has changed that her first question upon arriving is whether anyone was hurt.

~ Regina and Emma both wear vivid blue in this episode! But Regina covers hers with her black coat. Later, Regina has a white shirt on, opening to reveal a black top underneath. Is that symbolic, like she’s becoming light on the outside but still has darkness within?

~ I had forgotten about Zelena and Rumple’s scenes in this episode—I must have blocked them out, because I hate how sickening their dynamic is.

~ I’m a bit surprised that the Charmings all went along so easily with Regina’s plan to summon Cora’s spirit, and Regina’s confidence that they would go along with it, to the point that she didn’t tell them beforehand.

~ Did Hook really interrupt the ritual by bumping the table, or was that a joke?

~ When Regina tells Emma “Make sure you are [ready,]” Hook and Snow stare at her for a moment, like they can’t believe Regina is encouraging Emma, or they see that as a sign of how serious things are.

~ As they leave, Hook starts to reach out as though to put his hand on Emma’s back, but then he pulls his hand back.

~ This might be the first time Regina and Snow have been alone since right after Cora’s death, when Snow asked Regina to kill her.

~ Cora and Leopold starting a fire together is pretty symbolic.

~ Some interesting information about Snow’s parents is revealed in this episode, such as the fact that they were engaged since infancy. That may explain why Snow had such strong relationships with each of them, but we never see them onscreen together during her lifetime. Also, Leopold says he’ll have to have an heir “immediately,” but apparently, as in the original fairy tale, it took them many years to finally have a child, since Snow is years younger than Zelena and Regina.

~ Emma is surprisingly excited about progressing with her magic. It’s kind of sad that Hook is finally seeing her in a good mood, at a time when he is weighed down with worry.

~ What is Hook reading at Granny’s? Are he and Emma just hanging out there because they’re both staying at the inn?

~ How in the world did Leopold swing a proposal to Cora while his betrothed, Princess Eva, was visiting him? How did she and her family react? Why was she still there afterwards?

~ As selfish as Cora was, she must have felt more love for Zelena than she did for Regina, because she still had her heart when the first was born, but not when the second was born. I wonder if part of the reason she was so awful to Regina was because she reminded her of the daughter she gave up.

~ Snow and Regina are both literally and metaphorically cleaning up the mess left by their parents!

~ The last scene with Regina and Robin is so beautiful! While I think their arc in Storybrooke could have been written better, they do have great onscreen chemistry.

Episode 3x19 “A Curious Thing”

~ If Snow was about a month pregnant in the teaser scene, and then eight months went by, she really was full term when the curse was cast! I’m guessing that time was frozen in Storybrooke until this episode, when the curse was broken.

~ Why is Regina so contemptuous and contentious with Robin? What happened during those eight months?

~ There is a ceramic swan decoration in the hotel room behind Emma!

~ Regina’s bright red dress is beautiful—and considering it’s Emma’s usual color, and matches Mary Margaret’s coat, it seems to cement her as one of the good guys!

~ For such a formidable fighter, Hook seems to get abducted and/or tied/chained up quite often and easily!

~ Hook is aware of what a telephone is!

~ Gold abducting Hook could have been a really impactful closing scene for the previous episode or opening scene for this one. It must have been full of emotion and suspense for Hook, and extremely mixed feelings for Gold since they have such a bad history but also a mutual enemy in Zelena.

~ One interpretation of the spinning wheel in “Sleeping Beauty” is that it represents the cycle of life and time. Rumple alludes to this symbolism while using his own spinning wheel!

~ Was Leroy supposed to be supervising Henry? It’s strange that Emma is so comfortable leaving him behind with no magical protection, knowing that Zelena and Gold are at large.

~ Hook is like both a protective parent and a co-conspirator with Henry. I love it!

~ The way they talk about Snow and Charming’s child, it sounds like, even though he isn’t a Savior, he might have light magic of his own by virtue of being another product of true love.

~ Did Snow and Charming tell all their friends/followers that they were going to cast the curse, or did they make that decision on their own, without warning anyone? Even if they had a good and noble reason for doing it, not consulting the people it would impact is pretty messed up. They uprooted countless people who had already been uprooted before.

~ How many flying monkeys were there? And how can the heroes kill/destroy them so easily, knowing that some of them could be their transformed friends?

~ What happened to Mr. Smee? Did he continue running and leave Henry behind? That seems in line with what we’ve seen of his character.

~ The way the camera focuses on Regina as Snow and Charming say their goodbyes … what is she thinking/feeling? She probably still wishes she had a love like that, and may envy them theirs, but also has difficulty with the fact that they are sacrificing it.

~ Biologically, it would have made more sense for Regina to duplicate Snow’s heart rather than split it in half.

~ How is Neal able to communicate with birds? I thought that was just Snow’s talent? It does harken back to the bird that delivered August’s postcard to Neal in Season 2.

~ I really hope they figured out it was Neal who sent the message and memory potion!

~ The weather in this episode seems to fluctuate from moderate to winter/snow to moderate again.

~ This episode both begins and ends with a rose!

~ What is the “curious thing” of the title?

Episode 3x20 “Kansas”

~ Dr. Whale/Frankenstein, the man Mary Margaret/Snow dated and had a one-night stand with, being the one to deliver her baby is kind of messed up. I can’t see how Whale, Snow, or David are comfortable with that.

~ Glinda telling Zelena what she cannot do reminds me of Glinda and Elphaba in Wicked, and how Elphaba sings about refusing to accept limits that others set for her. Zelena is actually similar to her in that she refuses to give up.

~ Now that they know about Hook being cursed by Zelena, they should realize that him accompanying Emma is bad strategy.

~ What Glinda tells Zelena about innocence being reclaimed ends up being true of Regina in this very episode, and is also applicable to Hook and other redeemed villains in this show.

~ If Emma performed CPR on Hook under any other circumstances, he would be sure to say something cheeky when revived; but here, he gives no thought to their relationship, he is only alarmed and concerned about the consequences of her saving him.

~ The lights flickering as Mary Margaret gives birth strengthens my theory that the baby has its own magic.

~ It’s cool to see so many characters forming lines of defense to protect the royal family, but disappointing to see how easily Zelena blows past them all—even Regina, who out of all of them should have been able to hold her own.

~ Regina wearing red is a visual contrast against Zelena’s green, as they are opposite colors.

~ The writers seem to be trying to set up Zelena and Dorothy as analogues of Regina and Snow White: an older sorceress who feels threatened by a younger woman. Or maybe that is just the nature of those fairy tale archetypes.

~ Why doesn’t Dorothy talk about her desire to return home when she is with the witch sisters? Does she ever have her hero(ine)’s journey with the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion?

~ “If you believe you are evil, then that is what you will become.” Glinda is right about self-fulfilling prophecy, but it could also work for other people believing that someone is evil and then causing them to become just that.

~ Dorothy’s final scene begins with a closeup of her shoes, so the change to the slippers is more visually impactful.

~ I wish there was a longer focus on the lineup of heroes arriving: Robin Hood, Regina, David, Emma and Hook with their respective weapons drawn.

~ Zelena’s defeat seems to come too easily, considering it’s had a half-season of buildup. And in the end, as with the Neverland arc, it comes down to Regina alone, rather than a team effort with the wonderful ensemble cast.

~ “He can handle anything, just like his big sister.” So sweet, and followed by Emma having a protective hand on the baby’s head while David holds him!

~ Regina actually sounds like Snow when she talks to Zelena about second chances. It’s so interesting that they make the callback to her season 1 line “Evil isn’t born, it’s made,” now with the addition of “and so is good.”

~ The music in this episode is wonderful, the way it weaves in character motifs and emotional beats in each scene.

~ Hook looks so stunned and dismayed when Emma reveals that she still intends to leave, though he keeps his own emotions in check as she enjoys a happy moment with her family. His brief, wistful smile as he watches their reunion/first meeting is heartbreaking.

~ I can understand Rumple/Gold wanting revenge on Zelena and falling back into his old ways, given that she killed his son and enslaved and abused him. But Rumple/Gold pretending to give the dagger back to Belle doesn’t make sense. Why not just keep the real one, since she was willing to let him have it? It’s really contrived for him to pretend to give it up and lie about not having it.

~ The fact that Gold chooses that moment of deceit to propose to Belle is pretty messed up, because it means they are starting their marriage on a foundation of a lie.

~ Gold’s overall regression, starting now and continuing into the next season, makes Belle seem naïve for having faith in him when he is deceiving her; it’s kind of insulting to her intelligence.

~ In terms of theme and character focus, this episode feels a lot more like a wrap-up of many season-long or half-season-long arcs, rather than a self-contained episode.

Episode 3x21 “Snow Drifts”

~ The connection between the flashback and the present day is that Emma finally has the family she always wanted, but now is leaving them.

~ I wonder if Emma thinks that her parents don’t need her anymore now that they have another baby.

~ Robin and Regina’s scene may seem like fanservice, but it is FULL of foreshadowing.

~ Robin’s words, “Maybe things happen when they’re supposed to. Maybe it’s all about timing” is so in tune with both the show as a whole and this episode in particular!

~ The mention of Rumplestiltskin’s vault is also setup/foreshadowing within this two-part season finale.

~ It feels like there should be a scene setting up where Hook is at this point, since all the other characters had scenes like that.

~ It looks like Granny’s chalk drawing of the stork has the Charming family’s coat of arms on the baby blanket!

~ From what Leroy says, it sounds as though Aurora had her baby just a day after Snow had hers! I wonder if the two kids grow up sharing birthday parties.

~ Henry giving the storybook to Hook is a significant gesture. Both of them, at some point, tracked Emma down in order to bring her to Storybrooke so she could save her family. Handing the book off to Hook is like Henry passing on the role of reminding Emma who she is and where she belongs. This is a great show of trust and acceptance on Henry’s part.

~ Hook says that Emma defeated Pan and Zelena, but it was really Regina and Gold who did.

~ Hook telling Emma “Hold on” and Emma saying “I can’t” pretty much sums up their dynamic in this half-season!

~ When I first saw these episodes, I had never seen Back to the Future, so I didn’t get that the whole finale was based on that story. But the fact that they are self-aware about it, with Emma mentioning Marty McFly, and the way it impacts Emma’s character arc and relationships makes this seem excusable.

~ Emma’s reaction is so happy when she recognizes her parents and realizes this is the moment they meet.

~ Hook attacking his former self is not only amusing, it also has some psychological symbolism. It’s like putting to death his former self, who he now knows was not worthy of Emma.

~ Emma’s choice of the alias Leia is not only a laugh. It’s fitting in two ways: they are both characters associated with hope, they both have interactions with close family members without knowing they are related, and they both fall in love with thieving scoundrels who have a change of heart after meeting them.

~ Where and when did Hook learn how to waltz? Did his mother teach him as a child? Did the royal navy have balls? Did his pirate crew infiltrate such events in order to rob the guests? Did they have music nights on his ship? Did he ever waltz with Milah or other women he met?

~ Hook is clearly pleased to be in such a romantic setting with Emma!

~ I’m curious how the politics and hospitality customs work between neighboring kingdoms. Apparently Midas has to show deference to Regina, even to the point of letting her arrest a guest in his home.

Episode 3x22 “There’s No Place Like Home”

~ I really like that they brought Neal back for the finale, and that his words to Emma frame her arc in these episodes. Even though he is gone, she still feels his influence, and it leads her home.

~ Where did Emma get that new outfit? Regina might have taken away her ballgown, but she wouldn’t provide her with such a nice dress and cloak, with a matching headband to top it off.

~ Even if Regina went to the trouble of feeding her condemned prisoners, there is no way there would be metal wires on the spoons that apparently serve no practical purpose.

~ It’s hard to tell how much of the footage of Snow and Charming is from the first season and how much was reshot! It must have been a directorial and editorial challenge to hide Ginnifer Goodwin’s pregnancy while filming her as young Snow White; the camera focuses on her face to hide the shape of her body, and they probably used a double for the shots of her running, climbing, etc.

~ Hook and David’s heart-to-heart is simultaneously so earnest and so amusing! Does David remember that conversation in the future?

~ It looks like Hook is crying they see Snow White burned at the stake. They may not have had many direct interactions, and not many of those may have been positive, but he really does care about her.

~ Hook shares how he relived his brother’s death after losing him, but he probably experienced that with Milah too. Both of them died in his arms, and he probably blamed himself for both of their deaths.

~ Since Emma says “It’s so nice to meet you” after learning her brother’s name, I think she may not have actually touched or talked to him until that moment. She probably did not want to get attached to him when she was planning to return to New York.

~ I suspect that seeing her parents fall in love was part of what helped Emma accept and act on her feelings for Hook.

~ The fact that “home” is the big theme of this half-season, and particularly this finale, makes Hook’s revelation about the Jolly Roger even more impactful, both to Emma and the audience. He gave up the closest thing he had to a home, in the hope of helping her find her home and having a place in it.

~ Gold and Belle’s wedding seems like it may not have taken place the same night as the coronation, but the way it is visually and thematically interwoven with the other three couples is really beautiful.

~ This season finale feels as though it was written so that it could be the series finale if the show had to wrap, but then they got the green light for more episodes and wrote in cliffhangers to lead into new conflict in the following season. If it weren’t for Gold’s deception and the arrival of Marian and Elsa, this would have been a perfect spot to end the show, with the four romantic couples together and happy, and all the children happy with their parents (or potential stepparents in the case of Regina for Roland and Hook for Henry).

I plan to explore a lot more about this season in my character study fanfics!

#Once Upon a Time #ABC's Once Upon a Time #Once Upon a Time reactions #OUAT reactions #Captain Swan #episode analysis

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strawberryteabunny · 8 months

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orchid, mahonia, sage & chamomile 🐻🩷

These got long so putting in a cut ૮ ෆ ´ ˕ ` ෆ ა

Orchid- already answered!

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

I think I’m inspired most by fashion and fiber arts I see online. (Is ‘online’ a place?)

Besides lolita, my biggest hobbies are knitting, sewing, and embroidery. I have a ton of Pinterest boards with things I find inspiring- paintings and clothing from museums, knitting patterns, and things made by fiber artists and historical reenactors. When I’m starting a project I usually go through those, and my Ravelry (for knitting) or lolibrary (if I’m going to sew a lolita piece) as inspiration for what I want to make.

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

Music, paintings, and fashion. The first and last should be kinda self-explanatory since I think everyone finds music touching and my biggest hobby is fashion, but paintings are what I look at the most in an art museum- I really love Impressionism, the pre-Raphaelites, and 18th century rococo art, and a lot of other classical art in general. I also really love ukiyo-e prints from Japan.

I like paintings that feel like they express an emotion so strongly I can feel it myself; this is one of my favorite paintings from the Chicago Art Institute. I can feel the cool crisp morning air before sunrise, the bare earth under her feet, and the silence with just the sound of a bird singing. I’m a member at the art institute so I come in a lot to draw various paintings or just look around at stuff :)

I also love still-life paintings of fruits/flowers/food etc for a similar reason- it looks like I could really grab them off the canvas and eat them! I can taste those grapes just looking at them. And it feels like a connection to people from hundreds of years ago, to eat the same food.

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

I mean, ideally someone would gift me like, AP’s old Bunny-Chan set haha. But generally cute bunny-themed stuff does always make me happy :) I get a lot of books as gifts and I love that too! Christmas before last one of my friends got me a biography of Beatrix Potter which was awesome (I collect Beatrix Potter/Peter Rabbit things so those always make good gifts). I like tea (loose leaf), brooches (not enamel pins), perfume (my favorite company is Alkemia), and strawberry or rose-themed stuff a lot as well.

The best lolita fashion related gift I’ve ever gotten was my parasol! My mom was in San Francisco and I begged her to go to the AP store and get me the catalogue (was planning to pay her back), and instead she also got me the parasol and a pair of socks and made a gift of it :) She had to carry it on the plane since it didn’t even fit in her luggage! It meant so much to me to have that level of love and support, and I think the parasol is gorgeous too :D

#askbox #thank you!! I sent you one too :)

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hifi-shyguy · 1 year

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Ok so I finally watched the Succession finale, and I’m literally overwhelmed by how well this show is written.

I cannot believe how badly Kendall dropped the bag. He had it in hand, ready to seal the deal, and at the end he made the same stupid mistake that he made in the very first episode of the show—he let cockiness and arrogance get in the way. He was so sure that he had secured his kingdom that he didn’t even want to work for it, and in that moment Shiv saw it. She was right—he wasn’t going to be a good CEO. He’s emotional and volatile. Had he gone in and actually pitched the future of him at the helm, Shiv probably would have given him that last vote.

Is Tom going to be a good CEO? Does he deserve to inherit the kingdom? He’s an empty suit with no opinions of his own—looking to be told what he thinks and feels. But he also is willing to work. When everyone was at the funeral, he was at work. He’s an idiot and he failed upwards, but at least he worked. He wasn’t born into it. Not to mention he is the only one who showed any real loyalty. Greg almost fucked it up for him, and even then he forgave him and is ready to pull him up with him.

In the end they’re all rich. They’re all set for a comfortable life with their Gojo money. But they’re also so miserable.

God, what a show. And what a score—Nicholas Britell blew it out of the water. He knows how to make a board meeting sound like a coronation.

#succession

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ariondevereux · 2 years

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Not the other person but I would love to hear more about one of ur other Ocs. They all sound so great! Any is fine, i would love to hear some hcs u have of them if you're comfortable sharing ofc, no pressure! ❤️❤️

pls i got excited when i saw this ask skdjsks thank you!! i know you asked for some headcanons but this ended up getting so long and rambly 😭 under the cut for hcs i’ve always wanted to get out of my system <3

maya quimby from golden + her otp and brotps <3

maya grew up feeling neglected. like she’s aware her parents are important people with important jobs but for once she just wanted to be someone’s priority. she doesn’t remember the last time they put her first

i remember labelling maya as my snobby oc because of her lifestyle but over time i fleshed her out and realized she’s really not. she just grew up rich and a bit out of touch with the real world but deep down, she’s very sensitive and despite her lavishly displaying her money, she never does it to make anyone feel like she’s above them. she’s just trying to fill the void that her dad left in her life

i chose phoenix as her ro because out of the four, p always came off to me as the one who’s as rational as they are emotionally intelligent. and maya easily lets her emotions get the best of her; when she gets overwhelmed, she shuts the world out. she needs someone like phoenix who *i think* can understand what she feels but also talk some sense into her and keep her lucid before she mentally shuts down completely

also phoenix and maya are my pairing that i literally did not expect to be one of my angstier otps until mila dropped the pinterest boards and i looked at p’s and saw some pins about how they’re always choosing but never chosen and those are the same pins in maya’s board and i just went “well…. 🥲”

random maya fact to break the angst — she studies law and loves fashion design. she’s like lehsa’s elle woods hehe look up sabrina carpenter’s “sue me” mv and that’s maya <3

OKOK LESS ANGSTY HCS!!!! it actually didn’t take long for maya to develop a crush on phoenix and i don’t blame her because he’s so kind and so pretty with the sexiest brain but maya is soooooo in denial. she’s like “hmm nope. he’s just a nice guy i bet he’s nice to everyone” — in an au where my all golden ocs exist together, kaidan and maya would bond over that because friends who are in denial together stay together <333

at the same time, kaidan and maya would push each other like “dude i’m TELLING you lira’s into you! stop being so fucking blind” “fuck you take your own advice” pls i literally LOVE these two so much i would lay down my life for them (lira is my k-mancer btw)

despite kaidan not being openly affectionate, he deeply cares for maya. he’s actually the first in the team to see right through her “rich girl” front and can sense that she’s really lonely. i think that’s why their friendship works so well. kaidan doesn’t care about her money and that’s exactly what maya wants. someone who genuinely enjoys being around her regardless of her wealth and status

these pictures are the closest visual representation of kaidan and maya’s friendship

maya also becomes close to blaze because they’re both into fashion. he’s the first member in the team she took to her fashion studio. sometimes she would show him all the best places to shop. on one of blaze’s birthdays, she designs a jacket for him 🥺

in an au where maya and my b-mancer, kirsten, coexist, maya would be the biggest blaze x kirsten shipper shdusksk fast forward to the relationship stage, phoenix x maya and blaze x kirsten go on double dates <3 — side note: phoenix is kirsten’s closest friend in the group

kaidan, blaze and maya are my chaotic three. but sometimes it’s against blaze’s will when kaidan and maya kidnap him for a night out skdjsks this trio makes phoenix get all fuzzy like “aw my girl gets along with my friends 🥹” while asher’s patience is wearing thin LMFAO

ok back to phoenix and maya — so yk how i said she’s in denial right? it’s not that she doesn’t trust him. she wants to because she really thinks he’s a good guy. she just has trust issues in general. the longer phoenix goes trying to get to know her, maya’s urge to flee just gets stronger because she’s so scared of the good thing they have going on and how good it makes her feel but at the back of her mind she knows it��s only a matter of time before it all crashes and burns

this is a tentative hc and it might change depending on how the revelation goes in the game about a and k wanting to kill mc but out of all my golden girls, maya will take it the hardest. she’s already got enough baggage to begin with then you add her finding out about her vampire bestie wanting to kill her just because. and the guy she trusts and is completely in love with kept it from her. and phoenix would probably be so desperate to console her and ask her to hear him out but maya would be so blinded by rage and betrayal at this point that even though she knows phoenix was against asher and kaidan’s choice, it would fly over her head and she’d start asking “why? what did i ever do to you?” and she’d start saying things she doesn’t mean because she’s hurt. so yeah. that shit would send her on a spiral she wouldn’t be able to keep a clear head. we need a therapist in lehsa asap

sigh. ANYWAYS enough angst — eventually, phoenix shows maya some of his earliest and messiest sketchbooks. maya points at one of his anatomy drawings and jokes “this guy would look so good in a [insert piece of clothing]” and if phoenix will let her, she’ll definitely take one of his sketchbooks just to own something that’s his

relationship stage: she definitely steals his sweaters and wears them like an oversized shirt dress. one time blaze jokes about phoenix and maya starting to look like each other and kaidan says “well you are what you eat”

i have this scenario in my head where maya tries to compliment phoenix and tells him he has beautiful eyes and phoenix just ruins the moment like “you’re flattering yourself. we have the same blue eyes” and it annoys her because she was being sincere but he’s not wrong 😭

maya’s not the best at love because she grew up thinking love hurts until phoenix turned out being her safe place. she’s still learning to not be afraid to be vulnerable but she tries her best to show him that the person he chooses this time also chooses him <3

#the way i held these in for like a year. i feel free #nikka answers #oc: maya quimby #phoenix x maya #brotp: kaidan x maya #brotp: blaze x maya

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sortasirius · 4 years

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“Despair” and Dean and Cas

Well well well, winning is my favorite thing.

As usual, this is going to be as long as hell. And fair warning, it’s extremely emotional.

So here it is, the thing that we have been barrelling towards for years, literally years.

Just want to point out this. Also, I will NEVER allow someone to speak negatively about this writing group, EVER.

Team Free Dads starting off the episode is so sweet, so scary. Cas’ calming, Dean’s fear, Sam’s desperation, really just hammering home how much they love Jack, how his pain is pain for them, how losing him is unbearable.

“I can’t stop this. I’m coming apart. I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t let me hurt you.”

Oof. If you’ve ever question whether Jack is a Winchester, this line should shut that shit down for you.

When I tell you I was PISSED when Billie sent Jack to the Empty to EXPLODE????? PAIN.

“Yeah the Empty can’t come to earth, not without being summoned.”

Hello Bobo, clue number 1.

The fact that they only had Jack in limbo for like five seconds was great for my heart health, thank u very much Bobo.

Also Dean wielding Death’s scythe?????? KING?????

Man, Sam and Dean’s growth. The way that they’re able to, idk, actually speak on how they feel without death looming or fear or pain. It’s just a conversation, just an honest conversation of Dean admitting his mistakes, admitting how he felt. Admitting that he fucked up, and Sam forgiving him for it.

CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF

Also...hunters and their “dates.” Two hunters who are happily together, who are happily fighting monsters. Hm. Sounds like a Saileen/Destiel parallel to me boys.

You ever wish Cas would look and the mirror and take the great advice he gives others? Because I do. He’s always tried to be “useful” for Sam and Dean, for Jack, always tried to make sure that he’s useful enough that they keep him around. But what he doesn’t understand, what he’s never understood, is that they need him because of who he is, not because of what he contributes.

Remind y’all of anything?

And here we have Clue Number 2

And then, Sam’s realization. Eileen.

Did I begin full tilt screaming no in my apartment when he said her name? Who’s to say?

How can a lock screen cause me this much pain????

Okay but: Charlie loses Stevie, Sam loses Eileen. Clue Number 3.

I feel like I don’t talk enough about how much Sam loves Eileen. About how obvious it is that they are endgame, about how happy he is when he talks about her. This just feels like a blow to the stomach, but we’ve barely even started.

Sam immediately shifting into protective leader mode? He is the love of my life.

Dean’s simple nod, like it’s a given? Enough to do me in right there.

This is another episode where it’s just so clear that Sam is the leader of the North American hunters. Everyone knows him, everyone is willing to follow him. He’s knowledgeable and kind and fair and just and an incredibly capable fighter. Once again, I don’t believe his work on earth is done.

Can we also please talk about how FRIGHTENING IT WAS for Jack to kill that plant??? I don’t really have much of a comment on it because I was literally just like ?????

With Billie saying that it’s Chuck, the way that people were dusted, very similar to Becky and Amara, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, especially with Donna getting taken off the board. It’s like I said last week, I don’t buy that he’s taken himself off the board, he’s too invested in the unraveling of this story to take a step back. He’s gotta break them before he can defeat them, that’s the only way.

And here we go, into one of the most painful and surreal things I will ever write about.

Dean’s speech. His guilt, his regret. The shame of not only trapping himself, but the pain, the horror of trapping Cas.

“I just lead us into another trap. All because I, I couldn’t hurt Chuck. Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”

“Dean-”

“It was Chuck all along. We never should have left Sam and Jack, we should be there with them now. Everybody’s gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can’t stop it.”

His narrative arc. Tied up in a bow.

“She’s gonna get through that door.”

“I know.”

“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me. I’m sorry.”

Cas smiles.

Cas knows. He knows what’ll get them out of this, and he knows that he would do anything in this Universe for Dean Winchester. The human man he fell for.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”

“You what?”

“The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.

“But I think I know, I think I know now...happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?”

The most selfless thing Cas does in this, and he does a lot of selfless things, is to tell Dean Winchester how impossibly good he is. To tell him that he is worthy, to tell him that he is adored.

“I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it, and everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.

“You’re the most caring man on earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you outta Hell...knowing you has changed me.

“Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you.

“You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Dean’s greatest fear. His fear of those loving him leaving him. The terror of being alone.

“Because it is.

The head shake. Don’t love me. Don’t love me if it means you’ll leave me, don’t love me, everyone I love leaves me. Don’t leave me. Don’t love me. Don’t leave me.

“Don’t do this, Cas.”

Just like I always thought. One last look at Dean before the Empty takes him.

“Cas-”

“Goodbye Dean.”

And Dean is left, broken on the floor, unable to answer Sam’s calls, unable to do anything. It doesn’t matter to him that Chuck has wiped everyone out, it doesn’t matter to him that Sam and Jack might need him. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because the thing that mattered still hangs on his lips, still waiting to be said, and now he won’t get another chance to say it.

The fact that I am writing this, even with all my spec, with all my analysis of the writers’ room, of their text, of the way Dabb and co had approached this story, nothing could have ever prepared me for this. Nothing could have prepared me for a three and a half minute, uninterrupted scene where Cas confesses not only that he loves Dean, but that he has always loved him.

I talk a lot about how these writers don’t get the credit they deserve. Unfortunately, from most of this fandom, they never will. We will likely never know the fights with the network they had, the steps backward they had to take, the way they had to beg and fight and claw to get this on the screen. But they did it. They did it for these characters, they did it for this dinosaur of a show, and yeah, they did it for us.

It was not easy, I can promise you, to get this greenlit. They had to fight for this, they likely had to call in favors and make threats and quite literally put their careers on the line (you may scoff at that, but WB is a BIG company, especially in the TV/movie world) for this story. This story of Dean and Cas, the man dragged out of Hell and the angel who fell for him.

I have tons more to say, and will likely have several more posts about this, but I want to leave all my babes who are worried that that was the end for Dean and Cas with some takeaways.

Sam is missing Eileen. Dean is missing Cas. That is no longer a fun subtextual parallel, that is it for them. Their respective endgames are missing, and they will not know their peace until they get them back. Chuck will not win. That’s not the story being told, and right now? He’s winning. He’s broken them, left them with nothing, left them with an empty world and a hole in each of their hearts where their person (or angel) used to be.

Our show is going to end with “contentment.” “Contentment” isn’t from Sam and Dean being filled with grief and hitting the open road. It isn’t Sam getting Eileen back and leaving Dean with no one. “Contentment” is Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas. Together.

#destiel #spn #supernatural #my meta #destiel meta #spoilers #spn 15x18 #i cannot believe this #i cant believe i wrote this #this is real #theyre really canon

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kookieskiwi · 3 years

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𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

Pairing: Shuntaro Chishiya x Fem!Reader x Suguru Niragi

Summary: The borderlands were already dark, they made you numb to death so long as you survived. When you become the object of desire for two psychopathic and sociopathic men, one of which is your ex lover, you find it harder to drown out the emotions you’re feeling and demons you're facing. Do you give into the dark desires and madness? But...aren’t we all already mad here?

Warnings: Explicit language, sexual situations, murder, death, manipulation, psychoanalyses, drugs, alcohol, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, more to be added as I write.

Genre: Alice in Borderland, very dark romance, angst, smut, a little fluff if you squint

Rating: Whoever is mature enough to handle the warnings above but recommended to ages 15 and older. DO NOT read if you are triggered by any of the things listed above.

Word Count: 5k

[Taglist] @bonnyskies @mylifeisafxingmess @kasaikawa @mercipourleslivres @dragoneye01 @bubb1ee-gum@nocturne181 @somegirl29 @pajerita19 @ddaenysus @imagine-t-h-a-ttt @queentorresstuff @rebirth-of-destruction @celestiacq @ryreads @beeissleepy

A note from your author — I’m so sorry this took so long, I just got out for summer vacation after an extremely stressful year so I’ll be way more active now. I have decided (with much hype from @imagine-t-h-a-ttt ) to post this in parts so I could give y’all something in appreciation for dealing with me. Expect more soon!! (It might not be AiB exclusively but I will be writing more)

The borderlands was a place where anyone and everyone was alone for themselves when it came to survival. “It’s every man for themselves,” you’d often tell yourself after a game since you walked away, sometimes alone, and others didn’t. After participating in your first heart’s game you learned that, and it was forever engraved into your mind. When you were cruelly taken from the real world you were alone in your room after your nightly shift as an SDF officer. All of a sudden the lights went out whilst you were changing out of your uniform before a shower which you never got to take. Deciding to investigate the outage, you threw your uniform back on and unbuttoned the jacket revealing your black sleeveless undershirt while keeping your green cargo style uniform pants and combat boots on. After grabbing your knife and placing it into your thigh holster, you explored your neighborhood to find that everyone was gone, cars were randomly in the street as if they had been stopped out of nowhere, and you were in fact alone.

“What the fuck is this?” You whispered to yourself as you were pulling out your phone to contact your friends only to see that it was dead. “Fantastic,” you grumbled, rolling your neck to the side to crack it and relieve the tension. Venturing back to your home you thought over what this could possibly be; an evacuation drill? Maybe a nightmare? Were you daydreaming again? No, this was too real and too strange to be any of those things. You needed to get out of this area, inspect and observe other parts of Tokyo to see what was going on. You thought you could find answers before it turned dark since it was only morning so you rushed home to pack a few things before heading out.

While at home, you grabbed your backpack and in it you put; a change of clothes, three water bottles, pain pills and a few snacks as well as your phone and charger in case you could figure out a way for it to work. In a haste you also threw on your side holster which held your nine millimeter handgun and two packs of ammo for extra precautions. After that, you set out on your search of the city. The first thing you thought of was to get in one of those abandoned vehicles however even though they were full of fuel, they wouldn’t start. “So phones and vehicles don’t work, neither does anything powered by electricity. Great.”

With that newly found information, you stepped out of the vehicle and began the long walk across Tokyo. Along the way you inspected stores, homes and even government buildings but found no trace of anyone but yourself. Where did everyone go? It looked so desolate without the constant buzz of people around walking, the tourists, the neon billboards. Everything was...dead. You spent the entire day walking further into the abandoned city which was once lively yet found nothing other than a restaurant with food which you took the liberty to eat at.

Upon nightfall, you were looking for a place to stay when a billboard lit up drawing your attention to it immediately. “This way to the game arena,” it read with an arrow pointing to the left. Turning your head in that direction you saw an area in the distance brightened by lights while everything else was still surrounded in darkness. “Game arena?” You whispered in confusion. Looking around at your surroundings you didn’t see any other lights other than that building which looked to be about three blocks away. You followed the arrows leading you to the designated arena which looked to be a botanical tea garden from a distance. You slowly approached the building while keeping your hand close to the blade strapped on your thigh in case someone or something appeared. As soon as you stepped across the final set of stairs leading up to the entrance, a line of red lasers appeared and quickly turned blue when a sound similar to that of a confirmation resonated in the area. “What is this?”

“It’s the threshold of the arena.” Turning in the direction of the voice, you saw a familiar face step next to you with the same sound chiming at her entry. “Holyn? How did you get here? Are you okay?” You asked quickly before hugging her out of relife, you were more than happy to see a familiar face in this apocalyptic place. She was your childhood best friend, the only reason you hadn’t seen or heard from her in a while was because of both of your working lives.She hugged you back even tighter as she was feeling the same way you were, scared, alone and confused. When the two of you released each other she began explaining everything she knew to you as the both of you started walking into the garden.

“I got here a few days ago and since then, I’ve asked around to see what others know about whatever the hell is going on. No one knows how we got here or what exactly this place is but everyone is made to participate in games of survival. You must participate or you’ll die. After winning a game, you keep the phone you had and you’ll be supplied with a visa. The visa tells you how long you have until you’re out of time here which is why you have to participate in games to renew it before it runs out. You must win each game, there is no other way to survive if you don’t. Do everything it takes so you live and move on. Anything with an electric circuit board or IC chip does not work whereas analog equipment like radios work and so do older vehicles.” She explained quickly as more people came into view. Your mind fogged with all of the new information, it was so much to take in. Then you realized you were just thrown into a game of survival and like she said; you HAD to win to survive. “But-” you had just begun when she silenced you, “pretend you’ve been here and done this. I know you’re confused and probably scared shitless but just pretend.” She instructed as you both entered the arena and quickly added one thing, “I don’t want to continue playing after this, I killed someone Y/n.” But before you could respond she shook her head and you did as she said, silencing yourself and putting on the facade you had mastered over the years.

Upon entry, you almost immediately noticed the two groups of people to the right each containing about six people and consisting of both males and females and the other group of six men. Gauging their distance to and from each other you could conclude the individuals in each group had played together previously and probably had strategies to compete with. As you and Holyn approached the area the others stood around, you glanced down to the table in front of all of you. ‘One per person’ the sign read with approximately twenty phones laid out beside it. Each of you grabbed a random phone and stepped away from the table into your own spaces, you and Holyn sticking closely together. If everything with a circuit board was destroyed, then why did these phones work? In the middle of your questioning the phone screen lit up with the text ‘facial recognition in progress’ before switching to another screen as you looked at the others subtly to see they were looking around as well.

“Registration has closed,” the phone chimed causing each of you to glance down at the small screen. “There are twenty participants. Game: Queen of cards.”

“Rules,” the automated voice said, “After putting on the designated collars you will be divided into two teams, one team will be the Jacks while the other is the Queen of Hearts. Find the Queen of Hearts, take her phone and find the safe zone. If the Queen is not found, it is game over for the Jacks. If the Queen is found, it is game over for her.”

“Does this mean it’s one girl against the rest of us?” Holyn asked with a small crack in her voice, making hit her as a sign to be quiet and do exactly what she told you to do. The two of you grabbed the collars they had laid out on the table, placing them on your neck after close inspection. You needed to seem like you had done this before, the last thing you needed was to be seen as the weaklings or newbies. “It’s a Hearts game, of course that’s what it means. We are supposed to turn on each other and play with others minds. It makes sense.” A male with his arms crossed over his chest said. He had played before, you could tell. The group of men he came with looked like they had been here for a while based on their appearance and calmness towards the situation.

“What do you mean ‘It’s a heart's game’?” A girl who looked to be about seventeen asked. It was obvious she was new to this like you, however, you weren’t letting anyone know that. “When you see the game card, you know the type of game and the difficulty of it. Heart games are those of psychological torture and betrayal where you mess with your opponents or friends minds and emotions. Diamond games are ones of minds and intelligence, often including solving riddles or puzzles. Clubs are by far the safest there is given they are teamwork and unity games. Spade games are physical, they test your stamina and endurance. The number of the cards tell you the difficulty levels; one being the easiest and ten being the hardest.” Another man explained to the girls. You listened attentively while looking down at your phone noticing this was a six of hearts game. Hearts. There had to be a way to do this without betrayal. But before you could think of anything further you were interrupted by the phone which spoke once more.

“The Queen will have one minute to hide before Jack's time starts, but she wont know she is the Queen until Jack's time begins.” The feminine AI voice instructed once more. The girls were to be hunted by the boys and even if they weren’t the Queen the males wouldn’t know. Even if it was a best friend. You noticed when the others came to the same realization as you as one guy started profusely apologizing to a girl who was shaking. This is a game of survival. “So that means-”

“You girls better run.” It came from one of the men and said with a sinister smirk. All the guys had to do to ensure survival was take our phones and get to the undisclosed safezone. However this was more than that. You saw the weapons on a board in the distance and you knew you weren’t the only one who did. Without a second thought, you grabbed Holyn’s hand and ran as fast as you could to get the farthest from any other person, vividly aware of the knife you still had on your thigh. She quickly followed behind although she didn’t have much of a choice with your iron-like grip on her wrist. After running a sufficient distance from the others you ducked into the shrubbery and crawled towards a dark corner to hide from anyone’s sight. She sat across from you as you both tried to calm your breathing while keeping yourselves hidden from anyone who might pass by. The phone chimed again, “Hiding time is up,” the voice said while a new timer appeared on your phone. “Ten minutes,” it read. An alarm sounded throughout the arena echoing off the walls of the indoor tea garden. “The game will now commence,” you heard just before seeing your screen turn balck temporarily with your role on it.

“Thank goodness, I’m a Jack. You are too right?” Holyn asked as you turned off your phone and looked at her with a smile as her voice echoed in your mind, “you must win each game, there’s no other way to survive,” so you pushed away the dread in your chest and replied “me too.”

No. You were the Queen.

The two of you sat still for about five minutes listening to the shouts and screams of the others until you heard sets of footsteps coming in your direction causing the two of you to duck down onto your stomachs out of fear. In the distance you heard a feminine scream echo off the glass walls followed by shattering sounds and more screams of “I’m not her” or “It’s not me” followed by the sounds of struggles. “Come out come out wherever you are,” one of the men closer to you called. You could tell he was near and if you two didn’t move, he'd find you.”We found the safe zone but none of the girls were queens,” you heard one say, “damnit, if they were still alive they could help us,’ the other commented making your stomach drop. “We need to run,” who whispered to Holyn knowing those men would have no issue killing you to survive. “Three minutes remaining,” the time was announced but you could hardly hear it due to your pulse thudding in your ears.

“Now,” you called quietly queuing the both of you to jump up and run, but it didn’t go unnoticed by the men. “There they are!” One shouted followed by the heavy stomps of footsteps behind you as they set in on the chase. “It’s only the two of you, just give us the phone and you’ll live.” You ignored him and kept sprinting towards the place you knew there were weapons. Without another thought you grabbed two weapons and handed one to Holyn to defend yourselves with until she came to the realization you loathed. “You’ve been the queen this entire time!?” She shouted at you as the stomping sound got closer and closer. “I’m sorry! You said to do anything it takes to survive.” You responded with tears clouding your vision. Never in your life would you have thought you’d be choosing your life over your best friend’s, not when the two of you had gone through everything together. “Two minutes remaining,” the voice announced reminding you of your impending fate. Holyn looked at you with emotions you couldn’t decipher, but you saw the way she relaxed even if it was slight. Why was she glad you chose yourself over her?

“Come on, let’s hide.” She said grabbing your hand and this time, she was the one dragging you along. She veered off to the right pulling you behind a fountain and kept running until the two of you collapsed onto the ground. “Remember when you turned fifteen and we decided to sneak out?” she reminisced laying between your legs against your chest. “Yeah, our parents almost killed us, we were grounded for months.” you giggled despite the tears falling from your eyes. As memories of you both flooded your mind you acted without control and shouted, “Over he--” to let the men know your location but you were interrupted by her hand clasping over your mouth tightly to silence you as she yanked you backwards into the shadows. “Shh,” she whispered, calming you while you sobbed into her hand, “I want you to live on for me, okay? Beat this game, we both know you are the only one who can. I know you can. I’ll be helping you from above if I can.” She soothed laying her head on top of yours.

“One minute remaining”

The tears wouldn’t stop as you moved to hug her tightly, never wanting to let go. “I’m so sorry.” you choked out in between gasps for air. Everything was too much, too loud, time was moving too quickly, you heard the men rapidly shouting and searching for you two as you clung to your best friend. Everything seemed to be happening so quickly, the seconds flew by while you were holding the only person you had left before she was to die. “I’m not. Thank you Y/n, I wouldn’t have made it any further anyways, I’m glad I can help you move forward. Don’t let me die in vain.” She told you kissing the top of your head before roughly pushing you off to get you away from her. “Holyn!” You shouted trying to latch back onto her when suddenly the collar around her neck exploded and her blood splattered everywhere. Your eyes and mouth opened wide in shock at what you had just seen. You could feel the specks of blood all over your face and body while you stared at her now decapitated one lying in front of you. She had just died, and it was because of you, because you were selfish and confused all while being scared.

You didn’t know how long you stayed there in total silence until you just collapsed onto the cold, hard floor beneath your feet. The silence was interrupted by your blood curdling scream of pure agony that echoed throughout the enclosed building. Your head came into contact with the ground when you curled over your knees and screamed once again while grabbing at your hair and banging your forehead against the cement. Tears flowed out of both your eyes as you cried out in horror, unable to rid your mind of the events that just occurred. You screamed until your throat was raw and your voice hoarse, you could feel the clumps of hair you pulled out of your scalp as your fingers dug deeper into your skull and worst of all, you knew you were alone now.

For days, you were numb. Five days to be exact. You didn’t do much but sleep, cry, eat, walk aimlessly to a new location and then repeat it all again the next day. You couldn’t shake the immense feeling of guilt you felt when you woke each morning knowing Holyn wouldn’t because of you. It wasn’t until you played your next game, an eight of spades, that you snapped out of the haze your emotions put you in. During the game, you had to climb a tree fast enough to avoid the arrows being shot at you from below as the height the arrows were shot increased each minute as you ascended the tree. You were ahead of the others until one man decided to start pulling at your ankles to hold you back which eventually turned into him trying to make you lose your grip and fall. In the moment he yanked your body down, you almost completely lost your grip on the branch keeping you from falling. It was then that you realized you weren’t going to let Holyn die in vain, you’d survive and push through everything to honor her memory.

After that, the “acquaintances” you made between or during games never meant much to you because in the end, you could only count on and rely on yourself to ensure your survival. You stopped moping around and became the version of yourself you had always wanted to become, the one that allowed you to turn off your emotions and step away from your chaotic thoughts. You now lived for yourself and yourself only, but even then, you never killed anyone intentionally.

A few days passed by but you couldn’t tell exactly how long you had been in this hell hole. You only played games when it was necessary which was only about two days before your visa expired. After overhearing someone in a two of Spades game talk about a place called “the Beach” and the people there “knowing how to get out here,” you started observing those who played games when you didn’t. It only took a few nights to see the connection between the group of people who entered games with tag numbers on their wrists being the ones who walked out. After you played a couple games with people with the tags on their wrists, you were convinced they knew something about the strategy of the games. Lingering in the shadows, you watched the participants of the game walk out of the arena and head down the street while you quietly followed behind. You must’ve walked for five minutes before you noticed where exactly the group was headed; a vehicle. “But I thought..” you whispered to yourself in confusion seeing them jump into the four seater 1970 cadillac while you stood still in your hidden position wondering what they were doing. Upon hearing the ignition of the engine you remembered Holyn telling you only older modeled vehicles were able to work here, but where did they find fuel? Not once had you seen an operable fuel station. “There must be fuel at the beach, there has to be,” you thought to yourself, watching as they drove off which only made you more determined to find this place and get the answers to your questions. And with that thought in mind, you set out on a journey to find this so-called “beach.”

As the vehicle drove further from your sight, you started jogging in order to tail them to their location while still keeping yourself out of sight. You ran for around fifteen minutes before you saw a building in the distance, a building which had power unlike everything else in the city. Seeing the destination, you stopped running and took a while to slow your breathing and regain your energy. “So this is the Beach,” you sighed observing the structure and its surroundings. The building itself seemed to be four stories tall and included a large pool in front where people partied as if they weren’t fighting for their lives everyday. You approached a fence which seemed to outline the perimeter of the area and carefully leaned over it as if you were watching a child’s game. You saw the vast amounts of people give into the pleasures of ignorance while deafening music thrummed in the background, even from the great distance you were, you could slightly feel the vibrations of the bass in your chest.

“Ah who's this?” you heard a cynical voice ask rhetorically from behind you. At the sudden and unexpected presence you jumped, turning around and swinging your fist to punch whoever it was out of instinct. When your right hand came in contact with a face your left twisted to grab the knife you still carried on your thigh in a holster. Just as you grasped ahold of the handle one of the two people delivered a knockout-blow to the side of your head just behind your temple which caused you to instantly lose consciousness.

When you awoke you were sitting in a chair with your hands tied loosely behind your back onto the chair with what felt like a burlap bag over your head. You let out a small groan of discomfort feeling your head pulse due to your new injury, one you would have to repay later on. Upon hearing your groan, the bag was swiftly removed from your head allowing the bright lights of the room to flood your vision which hadn’t adjusted making you shut your eyes with a silent wince. After blinking a few times you get adjusted, you were finally able to scan your surroundings. In front of you stood a man with shoulder-length hair, blsck sunglasses, an open kimono and red swim trunks, to his left stood a man with buzzed hair, a black muscle shirt and green military pants who you instantly recognized.

“Aguni?” You asked with confusion seeing the man you used to work with. He was here too? You weren’t surprised he was still alive, the man was invincible when you worked with him. And just like back then, he was silent, he only gave a small nod of his head to you as a response before reassuming his statue-like stance. To his right was a man with silver hair, a white Nike hoodie and blue swim shorts who looked at you in an inquisitive manner with tired yet sharp eyes. Two women who had black hair were standing to his right and a man covered in tattoos stood further off to the side holding a sword long in length, possibly a katana. A few other people were staggered around the room but none of them seemed to be as ‘important’ as the few that you noticed immediately.

“Aguni-san? You know her?” The man in the kimono asked the latter with creased brows showing obvious confusion. “We worked at the SDF together. She was my partner before we were assigned to different segments, she’d be a good addition to the executives or militants.” He responded while putting in a good word for you. “Someone like her? An SDF officer? If you hadn’t told me, Aguni-san, I would have never known.” The man remarked crossing his arms over his chest while walking over to a desk which he leaned on. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You questioned with a scowl in his direction as your fingers fiddled with the ropes binding your wrists. You would be able to get out of them in a matter of minutes if no one noticed what you were trying to do, but it seemed the man in the white hoodie already noticed as he raised his brow in your direction with an impressed smirk on his stoic face. “A pretty, small woman like yourself...I would’ve thought you’d be tagging along with someone and not alone. Actually I would’ve thought you’d be dead by now, much less an SDF officer.” He commented with a wry smile fanning out all your cards which contradicted his statement.

“If my cards tell you anything, you should know you’re wrong,” you hummed, resuming your attempt to loosen the ropes. “Ah yes your cards,” he began while pushing himself off the desk and slowly pacing around the room, “we want you to become a resident at the Beach after seeing the cards you’ve gathered. And after learning of your pastime, you would be a great addition to the team either way.” Of course he would want you once he saw the games you had played, you were good at surviving meaning you’d also be efficient in getting him the rest of the cards. “And if I don’t want to become a resident?” You questioned poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue out of habit. You were doing just fine on your own and definitely did not need this place, however, it seemed like they needed you. Or they needed your cards more so than yourself.

“Well if you choose to stay, you’ll be able to get out of this game quicker. We have a theory that once we collect all the playing cards, one person will be able to go back to the normal world. And if you choose not to stay, well, you can walk away from here but we will keep your cards. We have gathered all the weapons in the city, we regularly gather rain water and food which the game makers seem to replenish once a week, you’ll be taken care of here.” He explained pausing directly in front of you waiting for a response. Did no one else see the problem with him? How he was manipulating everyone to get the cards under the false security that they’d get to leave too? Or was everyone here really THAT ignorant? “It seems like you take my cards either way hm?” You suggested in a hum cocking your head to the right slightly in question. “You’re correct. However, now you would be higher in the rankings and an executive after making such a great contribution and having the skill set you supposedly possess.” He told you in an attempt to persuade you into staying while adding a bit of sweetness to the word ‘contribution’. When you simply looked at him with a bored gaze, he sighed and continued speaking.

“If you decide to stay there are only three rules. 1) "always wear a bathing suit". This is to be sure no one is hiding any weapons which is why our militants don’t have to wear them if chosen to do so. Rule 2) "be free to live your life exactly as you wish including alcohol, drugs and sex" and the third and last rule: "death to traitors".” He enlightened you on the standards they lived by to help you make your decision. It didn’t seem like it would be a bad choice if you chose to stay here, you’d have food, shelter, and people you didn’t know in case you had to play another game of hearts.

“I’ll stay but I want my knife back, if I have to wear a bathing suit you’ll be able to see it anytime since I wear it on my thigh.” You compromised whilst completely freeing your hands from their bound position but still holding the rope to hide suspicions. You hated the fact you’d have to wear a swimsuit because your scars would be visible but if it meant you could have your knife, you’d be more than willing. Hearing a few chuckles resonate around the room at your demand you brought your attention to one of the men in the back of the room who had a bandage on his cheek and a black eye. It was easy to come to the conclusion that he was the one you punched earlier, and the thought of that made you smile with pride while looking at him.

“You are in no position to make demands, sweetheart,” he practically snarled at you. You hated being called sweetheart, it not only made you cringe but it infuriated you beyond measure. With a deadly glare, you let go of the rope and stood from the chair in a swift motion and threw the ropes at him without a word which said everything you needed to. However, just as he caught the ropes you could hear the door being slammed open followed by a voice which was all too familiar.

“The traitors are dead,” the unknown man announced in a tone of pride, kicking the door closed behind him. His voice instantly brought back memory after memory causing you to turn your head in shock in order to make sure you were hearing things correctly. The man you were looking at looked nothing like the one you once knew. This one had piercings on his nose and eyebrow while he sported an automatic rifle on his shoulder and a psychotic smile on his face. “Niragi?” You whispered in shock, still unable to believe your eyes. Was this the same boy you stood up for in high school? He looked so....different. What exactly happened to the sweet, shy boy you once fell in love with? “Y/N?” He questioned letting his mouth fall open the slightest but before he regained his composure. It was him, Suguru Niragi, the first and only man you’ve ever truly fallen in love with, but also the man who disappeared without a trace three years ago. You knew he had left you, it wasn’t hard to figure that much out, but you never knew why and quite frankly, you didn’t care anymore. You had moved on.

“Fantastic! Another one of our own knows this charming young woman, this will make things a lot easier. Niragi, you may take her to the locker rooms so she can change into some fitting attire then you can get her an ID bracelet and take her to her room.” The man who you noticed had a bracelet tagged 001, exclaimed with a clap of his hands as he was instructing Niragi to get you settled in. “She can do it on her own,” Niragi scoffed with a roll of his eyes which had you throwing your head back in a sarcastic chuckle. “I’ll take her,” someone insisted from the side. Glancing in the direction the voice resounded you noticed the short pale man with the silver hair stepping out towards you. He seemed oddly familiar as well but you couldn’t quite place it.

“That’s settled then. Now, my knife?” You quipped raising a brow at the ‘leader’ in the kimono just before someone came from behind you pressing a cold piece of metal to your throat while their other arm was holding your arms in place by your waist. The room went silent as everyone watched what was about to unfold in front of them, Aguni simply rolled his eyes with a sigh knowing what was about to happen. “You mean this knife?” The man teased, his voice was one you recognized from one of the two men that brought you to this place and all you wanted in that moment was to stab him for that. So, naturally, you settled for the next best thing. Pushing your head forward a little while trying not to move your neck, you watched Niragi’s expression as you threw your head backwards with all your force resulting in hitting the unknown man’s nose.

When the back of your skull came into contact with his face he immediately lessened his grip on you which allowed you to slip out of his grasp and take your knife from his hand. With your knife in hand, you grabbed his wrist, twisting it and bending his arm behind his back while your other arm placed him in a chokehold. You leaned in close to his ear as he was fighting your hold before pulling him back harshly, putting pressure on his windpipe, “Never, and I mean NEVER, touch my knife again. Got it?” You growled and if you were being honest, you would’ve intimidated yourself. You didn’t wait for a response as you pushed him forward only to watch him fall onto the ground with a soft thud. “Now,” you sighed looking up with a smile which could’ve been seen as both innocent or sinister, “let’s go,” you said slipping your knife into the holster on your thigh. The man with the white hair stepped forward with his hands in his pockets and came to your side, briefly looking at Niragi before turning his attention to you. “Let’s go, shall we?”

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slightlyrebelliouswriter23 · 4 years

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Writing smut without cringing the whole time? How do you do it.

Writing Smut 101: Overcoming Smut Shame

CONTENT WARNING: NSFW RELATED CONTENT BELOW.

The short answer, nonnie, is: you don’t.

That is to say, writing smut is always kind of cringe—especially if you’re new to it, or simply “not in the mood” to write.

But rest assured, feeling embarrassed is completely natural. The trick is learning how to overcome the cringe when it does happen, instead of letting it deter you.

I’m going to break this up into a few sections: 1) Why you might be feeling this way, 2) How I, personally, combat the issue, and 3) Some more tips that might help you get the ball rolling.

1. Why You “Cringe”

It’s important to find the root cause of any form of writer’s block so you can pull the weed out instead of just trimming it back. Smut writer’s block is its own special brand, and generally, the main issue writers have when it comes to smut is stigma.

Speaking openly and honestly about sex, in Western society, is still very much a taboo.

No matter how “progressive” we like to think we are, the inherent shame surrounding pleasure-seeking experiences, and the detailing/consumption of them, has been ground into us since we learned how to understand the concept of gratification.

And I’m not just talking about sexual gratification. This applies to everyday things, as well. Eating, shopping, relaxing (or doing virtually anything in capitalist society that does not directly contribute to capitalism).

So it makes sense that you would feel any amount of embarrassment, awkwardness, or “cringe” when writing smut. It’s something our society teaches us is wrong to want. Unfortunately, that shame translates to writer’s block when we sit down in front of the computer.

A lot of this blockage might stem from not giving ourselves permission to write the thing.

We’re staring at the blank document, knowing we want to write smut, and suddenly the thoughts start streaming in: This feels wrong, is this wrong? What if someone comes in and looks over my shoulder while I’m writing? Am I describing this right? Is this too unrealistic? I have NO idea what I’m doing, and everyone is going to know it.

These are all perfectly normal thoughts, and definitely ones I still have from time to time. But they’re also probably the direct cause of why you feel so blocked. Luckily, I have some bits of advice to give you on how to unblock yourself.

2. How I Combat Smut Block

✦ First, when the intrusive thoughts occur, instead of ruminating on them, think of each one as an impermanent object. You can use any metaphor, but I like to use the imagery of leaves:

Each negative thought is a leaf floating down the river of your mind. If you focus only on the leaf, you’ll exert a lot of energy running to try and keep up with it, consequently miss everything else around you. But if you acknowledge that leaf as a temporary part of the scenery, and let is pass, you can process and appreciate the beauty of your surroundings a whole lot better.

Remember: you are separate from your thoughts. You are not defined by them. The things you think sound stupid might be incredibly exciting to someone else.

If you can string a sentence together, you can write smut. This is all part of giving yourself permission to write the thing that makes you feel uncomfortable.

✦ Second, I’d suggest giving good thought to how you personally experience embarrassment, how you experience excitement (of the sexual variety), and how those two might sometimes commingle or feel similar.

For me, they are very comparable, like different shades of the same emotion—but there are differences which are important to note.

If I’m making myself blush from excitement, this is a very good thing for writing smut. It means that what I’m writing feels real enough to evoke something in the reader, even if the reader, like me, knows what’s going to happen.

If I’m making myself cringe, however, it may be time to take a step back and readjust my perspective.

✦ Third, ease yourself into it! Don’t jump straight in the deep end and expect to know how to keep your head above water if you’ve never swum before.

The way I eased myself into smut was first by writing “Steam”—a category of fic I made up because the current vocabulary lacked an efficient term for fics that straddled emotional romance and explicit content.

Essentially, steam is smut-adjacent but not explicit, and here’s a step-by-step example of how I transitioned myself smoothly from one genre to the next:

I first wrote my fics Wicked Game and You Are (both of which feature either a heavy make out session or teasing + lots of sexual tension) with this “steam” concept in mind.

I wrote the first chapter of Fine Line, which has brief but explicit descriptions of fantasies, framed by a very sexually charged scene.

I released my fic Crashing, which is probably more of a bridge between Steam and Smut, and features soft-focus fingering. Nothing in it is explicit—it focuses more on the emotions than explicit detail—but it’s very clear what is happening.

After I wrote those, I felt just confident enough to make that final stride over the threshold into smut. I wrote my fics Holy, King, and the second chapter of Fine Line all within weeks of each other.

And trust me when I say, once you get the momentum going and receive that validation from people who’ve read your work, it becomes SO much easier to sit down and start writing.

You just have to finish that first piece.

✦ Finally (and I know I’m going to sound cliche when I say this), just like any other skill, the more you practice the more confident you will feel and the better you will get.

So practice, practice, practice!

If you’re nervous about posting smut for the first time, have a trusted friend/mutual Beta read it for you. It’s the online equivalent to someone holding your hand before jumping off the cliff, and works wonders for the nerves.

3. Keep The Smut Rolling

Now that you have some tools to help get you past the blockage of writing smut, here’s how to keep the inspiration flowing.

✦ Start by incorporating smutty fanfiction/erotic fiction into your regular reading rotation-

Of course AO3 is a fantastic resource for smutty fanfiction.

If you’re a fan of TFOTA or ACOTAR and want some of my personal fic recs, visit my fic rec masterlist.

In terms of erotic fiction, my personal favourites are anything Anais Nin (specifically Henry & June and Delta of Venus), The Thornchapel series by Sierra Simone, The Godwicks series by Tiffany Reisz, and The Original Sinners series by Tiffany Reisz.

There are also sites like Literotica and sexstories.com, which play host to explicit short fiction (not fandom based).

✦ Next, I’d recommend having a designated digital space for smutspiration-

This can be a list of “smutty” words/phrases kept on a separate document on your computer, for those days when you just can’t think of the right way to describe something.

Or you can create a private side-blog or Pinterest board for your favourite smutty fanart or other kinds of visual smutspiration.

✦ For that matter, try following some smutty/18+ blogs (ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+) here on Tumblr-

Many of them have a plethora of what I like to call “lemony snippets”, a.k.a. short text posts that describe (usually in conversational language) explicit scenarios.

This is useful because it will normalise the concept of sexual fantasies in your brain, making it less weird for you when you try to come up with ones of your own to write into smut.

Not to mention, your dash will be rife with inspiration.

✦ I would also suggest checking out 18+ ASMR on YouTube (AGAIN, ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+).

My favourite account is Professor Cal Official, but Auralescent also has some good content.

Headphones are highly advisable for this, as their stuff is very dangerous for work.

So, nonnie, I hope this has provided you with at least one helpful tip. Whether you took anything away from this or not, just know that the feelings of embarrassment when it comes to writing smut are entirely normal. And the best way to keep those feelings at bay is to confront them head on.

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Advice Masterlist

Writing Masterlist

2K Celebration!

#writing #writing advice #writing tips #smut #fanfic #writeblr #ao3 #writer things #em's 2k celebration #smut 101: overcoming smut shame #fluff #angst #writer's problems #asked and answered #em answers #nonnie #anonymous smut cringe

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pineconeinatree · 3 years

Text

witchy tips for witches with depression <3

I've been struggling with depression for some time now and I've been having a lot of issues practicing my craft since the lack of energy and motivation, so I decided to compile a list of simple routine things you can try to add to your daily life to get you back on the craft and maybe make you feel better :]

theres no instant cure to depression but there are ways to make it a little less bad, and little by little get you back on your feet !! these may not work for everyone as I am writing down things that work for me and just simple ways I use to incorporate the craft into my daily life. please please please also seek prefessional help if you're able to !! talk to friends and family, you're loved and cared for !! google depression self help tips for more tips, I know most of them may sound dumb or trivial or useless but it is so worth a shot adhering to them for some time, maybe you will notice an increase in your mood :D

1. veiling

when I go out, I wear a scarf on my head to protect my energy or keep me in a good mood, depending on the days activity. you can wear a scarf around the house or go out with it and putting one on also works for a bad hair day (read: haven't washed hair in a week) ;D

just cleanse the scarf by maybe shaking the unwanted energies out of it or with incense or with whatever you see the best and bless the scarf with your intentions for the day :D

2. cleansing

if you have a hard time taking care of your hygiene ( it's okay I promise, it can be very exhausting :/ ), try getting some baby wipes on your bedside table and when you wake up / before you go to bed, wipe your face, armpits, feet etc. with the wipe and with the intention of cleansing. it's quick and very easy and I promise that it's worth it, you'll feel a lot more fresh afterwards. you can do the same with washing in general ! if you take a shower imagine the bad thoughts and depressive energy go down the drain in a black/gray/brown stream of dark water !! you'll feel a lot more fresh and maybe a bit clear-headed even :)

3. tea magick

while getting your cup of tea / coffee, stir your days intentions into the drink or do this:

stir clockwise thrice to bring positivity, stir counterclockwise to let out negative energy in your next three sighs and then seal the spell to let the sadness repel.

I recommend black tea or white tea or chamomile tea and add some honey / sugar to sweeten the deal !!

4. shadow work

I know that one of the last things you might want to do is dwelve deep into your feelings but it really will be useful in the long run. if you feel yourself getting upset or your mood suddenly dropping, try getting to the bottom of it; what triggered the emotional reaction? take a deep breath, relax into your feelings as they are in that moment and be honest with yourself. observe them without judgment and try to find out where they came from and how to solve the conflict.

here's some prompts and questions you can try asking yourself:

how did you feel ( more accurately than just upset; were you angry, jealous, sad, lonely etc.) ?

is there something you can do right now to solve it ?

how could you handle this situation in a healthy way? eg. try to come up with healthy coping mechanisms.

how can you maybe prevent this in the future?

try the court trial thought challenging technique. if these thoughts or this situation was a court case, which side would win? imagine yourself as the defense attorney. you need to gather 100% foolproof evidence you have siding with the negative thought and then defend it against the undermining counterpart. it's kind of a pros and cons type of list but you adopt the viewpoint of an outside viewer to get a clearer and more realistic view of the situation. this thought process can help you realize that some negative thoughts aren't truthful and help you let them go. you can Google "the court trial cbt" for more on this technique :D !!

5. studying the craft

we're all individuals and we react differently to bad states of mind but what I do often is distract myself by being on my phone and I know ( I hope so, at least ) I'm not alone in this. as a witch, you're always developing and learning new things, was it about learning different kinds of ways to practice your craft or getting to know other practices or maybe reading a guide how to grow your own herbs ! point is, if you're gonna distract yourself, you could try reading ebooks or articles or even tumblr posts about things that interest you !

maybe try making a list of subjects, topics and practices that interest you and set a goal for yourself to read at least about 3 subjects on the list per day !!

6. making pinterest boards / planning

this isnt directly magick but I think it does count as practicing your craft. make mood boards for the next full moon, come up with spells, make pinterest boards about cool things that interest you or maybe start planning for the next sabbath ! just have fun with it, maybe colour coordinate your pin boards or arrange them by season !

7. go out for walks

it is so so so important to try to adhere to some routines. a big part of managing depression is taking care that you get enough sleep, eat enough and do fulfilling, nice and healthy things. go outside and try to look for rocks or crystals from the nature ? or try foraging ! or maybe go for a walk during sunset/sunrise and admire the beautiful sky and clouds ! ANY reason to peep your nose out of the house is a good reason. maybe go meditate to the nearest park ? or try yoga !!

8. interests and passions and things you loved to do

I know that it might be hard to find joy in the things that you used to like doing but you should try to do at least one thing that you used to love doing for 10 minutes every day ! incorporate a little witchcraft into it too if you want to !

draw or paint a sigil and maybe colour it

sing your favourite song with intent that matches the lyrics

try freestyling with any instrument you play and let your intuition guide you with the chords and notes that come out ! you can try also making small melodies that correspond to different intents and use them for cleasing or happiness or protection !!

bake or cook something you've always wanted to try ! look up the ingredients' correspondences and cook with desired intents !

please know that you're not alone !! my dms are always open if you want tips or just someone to talk to, too :) you don't need to do all of these but maybe try taking some inspo and adjust it to your life and surroundings and daily life and come up with ways of your own, it's your craft after all !!

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simplepotatofarmer · 3 years

Text

technoblade: a takedown - pt. 1

(not clickbait)

aka i go over every argument people make against c!techno one by one and determine whether they’re valid, false, or a mixture of both. i rewatched every single stream/video, including those on his alt channel, so i could approach this with the most information possible. i’ll be breaking this up into parts because there’s just too much otherwise. all about the characters unless stated.

techno believes in a ‘dog eat dog’ world - false

this is an argument i see used a lot when people discuss techno so i wanted to address it first. luckily, the stream in which he says this is only his fifth stream on the server. there’s one major reason why this argument falls apart and one minor reason that isn’t objective like the first.

first and most importantly: techno has never acted on this. even at the beginning - which is when this comment was made - he was helping his allies, from building railings to keep them from falling, making a potato farm, and all the gear he grinded for to equip his allies in pogtopia with. moving forward, he’s also helped out plenty of people: giving tommy a place to stay and items, telling phil to reach out to ranboo after doomsday, as well as giving both tommy and ranboo food when asked. there’s more, of course, but the point is he’s never once followed up on this statement. he teamed up with quackity to stop the egg. he spoke to niki about how he was giving anarchy a bad reputation because of the violence and wanted to take a different approach which he has.

when people use this argument to insist that techno is the villain, it doesn’t hold up because it’s merely taking one statement he made and upholding it as a main part of his character when his actions and later statements have shown that he doesn’t actually believe in this randian view point. objectively, i can’t see how this argument can extend beyond ‘well, he said it’. regardless of what he said during the pogtopia arc, he’s said the opposite later - wanting everyone to live free with no oppression or imperialism - and has never acted on it nor brought it up later. this take honestly seems disingenuous and was in fact the driving factor of this post.

second and not as critical, techno mentions multiple times during each of his first streams that he’s not sure who all is on his side. this is a reoccurring point for him. he makes the comment about wanting a dog eat dog world during the red festival stream, while speaking to bad and sam. the first part of the conversation is techno asking about state secrets since they’re (as far as techno knows) on manberg’s side. bad mentions schlatt killing cats and techno launches into a spiel about massive anarchy and the weak being huddled in fear, asking them how does that sound. bad says as long as there’s no cat murder, perhaps. bad then asks techno what his ‘single issue’ is and techno responds that he wants to destroy the government. to me, the context of the conversation, who he’s speaking to and what his opinion of those people is, is an important thing to consider.

techno’s ‘we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it’ comment means he was always going to betray pogtopia/l’manberg - valid but not how you think it is

i’ve seen people say that techno saying ‘we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it’ is a clear sign that he was always intending to betray pogtopia/l’manberg which, yeah?

but i wouldn’t call it a betrayal.

he says the ‘we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it’ line at the end of the ‘eve of revolution’ stream while he’s talking to quackity, ponk, and sam. the conversation is as follows:

techno, to quackity: i’m glad we could get to know each other. i heard you’re on our side now. i heard you betrayed schlatt.

quackity: yeah, that’s right. are you betraying anyone?

techno: no. i would never betray my personal ideals.

[some chatter from ponk and quackity]

sam: what does that mean? what if the people you’re fighting along [sic] have different ideals than you, though? doesn’t that mean you’d betray them?

techno: listen... we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.

then techno states that he ‘said what he said’ when sam questions him about his choice of metaphor.

he actually uses the same malaphor at the beginning of the ‘revolution’ stream when they (quackity and tubbo) question him again and in that case techno definitely avoids the subject which isn’t a good thing but considering everyone was so worked up about the possible traitor, i can completely understand.

overall, techno is extremely upfront about his intentions. yes, there is definitely some miscommunication between all the parties because none of them were on the same page but that doesn’t make techno the bad guy here nor does it mean he betrayed anyone. he was upfront about his intentions from the start.

in his first two streams, he makes a joke that if they happen to set up a new government/president that he would just take that one down and it would be a never-ending cycle. over and over, he says that he wants to do destroy the government/manberg. when tommy mentions taking it back, techno says, ‘what do you mean, take it back?’ though this kind of gets lost in the middle of everything else - dsmp (lack of) communication strikes again.

the takeaway that i see here a lot is that techno always intended to betray them because he knew tommy wanted to take back l’manberg and knew that he would go against them if they set up a new government. and this is true to an extent! he did know that tommy wanted l’manberg back and he did know that he would go against them if they set up a new government. but wilbur was also telling techno that he was on board with the whole anarchy thing.

none of them were on the same page and that surely led to a big chunk of what happened and hurt feelings on both sides but that doesn’t mean techno betrayed anyone or that he was the bad guy for doing exactly what he said he would do from day one.

techno destroying (l’)manberg was wrong - it’s complicated

the first thing to address here is that for most anarchists, destroying a government isn’t a bad thing. in fact, taking down the government/state is basically our goal. now, i don’t speak for all anarchists, of course, but overall the general feeling is that violence in the name of overthrowing an oppressive government is not inherently bad. there’s no way to do a one-for-one here because it’s minecraft but the general sentiment remains. so while violence enacted against the state is a bad thing for people who aren’t anarchists, techno has no reason to and would not view it as inherently bad.

but it did hurt people and techno himself acknowledges that fact. he’s acknowledged what he’s done when confronted about it. he hasn’t said he was wrong because understanding that it was hurtful doesn’t mean he believes he was wrong. to him, he wasn’t. destroying what he viewed as an oppressive system was the right thing to do, even if it hurt people.

(also this isn’t any kind of meta but i think it needs to be pointed out that wilbur had already set off the tnt and techno summoned two killable mobs which did plenty of damage but he didn’t say wilbur was the great who came before them for no reason.)

again, this is going to be the most controversial part of this post because i don’t believe destroying government is a bad thing and i don’t believe techno is wrong for believing that as well. there are better ways to address the problem and techno is adjusting his tactics but if another government was to be established, i don’t believe he would be in the wrong to destroy it because he’s an anarchist.

the tl;dr of this section honestly could just be summed up with ‘watch less marvel, read more ursula k. le guin’.

‘techno is the villain because he called tommy the hero’ - so very false

this is a take i’ve seen that to this day i don’t understand.

techno calling tommy the hero does not mean he was setting himself up as the villain in any capacity. it was merely pointing out tommy’s habit of putting himself at the forefront of almost every conflict, trying to shoulder everything, no matter how it hurts tommy himself. the speech was directed at that and nothing else. it doesn’t mean techno is the villain, it doesn’t even mean there is a villain; there are more stories to be told than the classic hero-villain and the hero-villain narrative doesn’t always apply to stories. (i’d certainly argue that it doesn’t apply to the dream smp but that’s a different conversation.)

techno is to blame for tubbo’s death - false

i think this one has been done to death but what would a techno post be without it?

no, techno is not to blame.

he said over and over that he was outnumbered and believed that if he had done anything, everyone would’ve turned on him and ‘torn him to shreds’. even if that wasn’t the case, it is what techno believed. he had no reason to think that he could take the entire crowd out until he actually fired the rocket launcher. and remember, he tested the rocket launcher earlier during the festival on niki (who volunteered) and it didn’t kill her. when he realized the amount of splash damage it did, he gives a surprised laugh and then begins firing into the crowd.

as for saying he was under ‘mild’ amounts of peer pressure, techno has a habit of minimizing. not just the things he’s done, but often situations that he’s been in that were stressful. he stated that he deals poorly with high stress situations and one of the cognitive distortions that can come with anxiety is minimization. techno doesn’t actually believe it was ‘mild’ peer pressure - it was a situation that caused him enough distress that he brings it up later at doomsday - but it’s easier to deal with a situation when you downplay it, it’s easier for techno to keep up that calm façade when he’s acting as if whatever happened wasn’t that big of a deal even if it was. again, the way he speaks about it on doomsday was clearly upset and emotional.

the only person to blame for tubbo’s death is schlatt. he was the one pulling the trigger and techno was the gun.

if you made it this far, thank you for sticking it out! i spent so many hours rewatching all the streams, some of them multiple times, while taking notes to be able to do this. i’m extremely passionate about techno and i feel as if a lot of the arguments against him tend to miss the nuance of his character. this project is on-going and i’ll be going over the butcher army/retirement storylines next. feel free to submit any points you’d like to see addressed!

#technoblade #dream smp #dsmp analysis #dsmp meta #tommyinnit #tubbo #quackity #dsmpblr #dream smp analysis #loyal does meta #this......is a lot #i spent so much time on it y'all

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jamespotterthefirst · 3 years

Text

Knowing Me, Knowing You

Book: Open Heart, Book 2

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende)

Words: 1K

Premise: AU where she is dating someone else upon his return from the Amazon.

Author’s Note: Once upon a time, I posted “War of the Roses” where I mentioned a CEO ex of my MC. I said his FC was the glorious Henry Cavill. I spiraled from there. @ashiiknees had the brilliant idea of this AU angst fic. Thank you so much, darling! Also, thank you to @aestheticartsx for pre-reading!

A smile so charming and sharp illuminates his features as he studies her, pinning her like a butterfly with a single look. It is so reminiscent of something familiar, something that once felt like home. Lilac feels her throat tighten.

“You could give me a run for my money at the negotiation table,” Malcolm laughs, his breath brushing her lips moments before his mouth does.

After only a millisecond of hesitation, Lilac kisses him back, the dread in her stomach easing at his touch. The guilt this inspires is almost suffocating. Yet, she kisses him fully, allowing herself to get lost in his scent. When they pull apart, she summons an easy smile.

“Thank you,” she murmurs.

Those steel, grey eyes assess her with such intensity that she almost jerks back in response. Before she can help it, she is tormented by the memory of a different pair—blue, intense, and so piercing that every time they fell on her, she felt bare before him.

Your professional development is too important to jeopardize it with whatever… whatever it is we had.

Had.

The single word still feels like the twist of a knife.

“No thanks necessary,” Malcolm assures her, cupping her chin gently. “I’m really glad we were able to talk. To try and make this work.”

Lilac nods once in acknowledgement, unsure how else to respond. Luckily, she is spared from elaborating further by the everpresent ringing of his phone. Malcolm glances at the screen and sighs heavily.

“Duty calls,” he tells her. “Meet you at my place tonight?”

“See you there.”

With one last kiss, he brings the phone to his ear and moves past Lilac on his way to the exit. Now alone in the tiny hospital break room, she lets out a shuddering breath.

With a tiny wave of determination, she turns to watch him go.

And freezes when her eyes fall on a different figure standing at the door.

Ethan is rooted on the spot, unable to move, as though his stomach sinking like a stone is weighing him down.

“... the numbers of the Tokyo account.”

The tall, suit-clad man doesn’t even glance at Ethan as he rushes past him, too rapt in his phone call to take notice of anything. As soon as he vanishes around the bend of the hallway, Ethan's eyes fall on the lonesome figure in the desolate room.

Lilac stands with her back to him, all but shriveling inward as she hugs her arms around herself. With a steadying breath, she finds composure, becoming the Lilac everyone knows, standing tall and determined.

Then, she turns and her eyes find his.

It's like a torrent, hitting him at full force, threatening to knock him off balance.

The inconsequential noise of the hospital falls away to leave room for a long, almost stifling silence between them. Neither of them makes an effort to look away or move, suspended in that moment, desperately hoping to prolong it as long as they could look at each other.

Ethan’s eyes take her in, feasting on her after two months of starving, so far away from her. For a moment, he thinks he can see the same longing reflected in her eyes. Then, an invisible mask clasps into place and she raises her chin higher with dignity.

“Doctor Ramsey,” she says at last, her voice as cool and collected as her expression.

It stings more than it should.

“This lounge is for employees only,” he says in response. The words are out before he can stop them.

“Understood, Doctor,” she says at once though Ethan can hear the edge of sarcasm in her tone. “I’ll make sure to meet with him elsewhere in the future.”

Something coils in his stomach at the words, bitter and as agonizing as an open wound. Before he can allow himself to react, however, he remembers this is what he wanted when he left for Brazil. He wanted her to move on, even if he knew from the moment he boarded that plane that such an alternative might never be a reality for him.

“Be sure that you do,” he says, keeping his voice even.

To his surprise, Lilac laughs at this, a dark, humorless sound that is uncharacteristic to her.

“Don't pretend you're this concerned about a minor breach in the employee handbook.”

“I don't know what you could be refer—”

“You have no right to pull the jealousy card.”

He says nothing. Even after a year of knowing her, the accuracy with which she could call him out still surprised him. Despite the steel wall he tried to build, she always found her way in, right to the center of his true nature.

“You're right. I don't.”

This seems to infuriate her even more. The color rises to her cheeks, her nostrils flaring as she takes in an uneven breath. Her bottom lip quivers for a brief moment and with a pang, he realizes her anger is her desperate attempt to cover the hurt.

“You left.”

Silence.

The only sound is Ethan's heart pounding furiously at his ears, valiantly trying to keep itself from crumbling to pieces.

“You left without a word goodbye. I had no idea where you had gone until Naveen told me. For two months I wondered if you were okay or if—” her voice trembles slightly. Angry at this betrayal of emotion, she tries again, “—if I had done something wrong.”

“Lilac, you—”

“And then, after crying for nights on end over you, I realized that I was raised to demand better treatment from others. I wasn't going to waste my time waiting for someone who only slept with me twice before he got bored of me.”

Ethan clenches his jaw against the lie, each word as vicious as a lashing.

“I deserve better.”

His throat constricts painfully.

“I deserve Malcolm.”

The worst part is that Ethan can't even disagree with her.

The longest silence yet follows. Neither says anything, though they each look as though they have years worth of words to say to one another. For Ethan, it is summarized in three words. Three words he was too cowardly to admit from the moment he realized he meant them. Three words he was foolish enough to believe he could forget in the Amazon.

Three words that, no matter how constantly and how fiercely he said them, would never be enough. Not anymore.

Lilac looks at him, eyes scanning his face desperately, almost as if she can sense the unsaid.

“This is how things are now, Ethan. Just how you wanted.”

“I never wanted —” he blurts. He stops, thinking instead of the one truth that guided him all those weeks apart from her: “I just want you to be happy.”

“I am.”

Author’s Note: Not me thinking of ways to get them back together. Also, that tiny bit in Lilac’s speech was inspired by AOC saying "I am here because I have to show my parents that I am their daughter — and that they did not raise me to accept abuse from men."

If I write more in this universe, it will be my mission to name them all after ABBA songs. Maybe I should just do that for all of my future works.

Thanks so much for reading!

*Tagging in a reblog*

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #Playchoices #My writing

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jaskiersvalley · 3 years

Note

I loved your fic about witchers being afraid of moths so much. I suffer mottophobia as well and the thought that witchers feel the same is nice. So thank you!!!

Nonnie, I'm so pleased you liked that story! Phobias of any kind can be so stressful, I hope moths don't bother you all that often. While I don't have another phobia story for you, I have something a little different that I hope you enjoy.

CW: Panic attacks

It had taken Aiden several years before he broached the idea of wintering together. He knew Lambert went to Kaer Morhen each season and didn't want to be rude by inviting himself to the Wolves' den. But he also didn't want to make Lambert have to choose between seeing his family for the season and accompanying Aiden to the Caravan. Really, he need not have feared because as soon as he brought up the topic of winter, Lambert was jumping at the chance.

"Want to go to the Caravan?"

Just like that, they spent three years wintering with Cats. Lambert fit right in, helping with life on the road without a hitch, messing around, teaching tricks and learning new ones in equal measure. He cooked, did repairs and was as accepted into the Caravan as a stranger could be. It made Aiden wonder whether he missed the pack feel of his own family of Wolves.

"This year-" he said with some hesitance late one summer, "-why don't we go north? Kaer Morhen has probably missed its youngest Wolf."

If Lambert's expression was anything to go by, he didn't agree. "Does the Caravan not want me this year?"

"What?" Aiden scoffed at the notion. "No! I thought you knew they all dote on you. I just thought you might want to spend a season with your family. You met mine..." Not that he'd ever say it out loud but Aiden wanted to meet Lambert's family too, he didn't want to be a shameful secret.

The terse "fine" sounded anything but fine. However, Lambert refused to discuss it any further and, come winter, he led them north. By the time they got to the bottom of the mountain Lambert was tense, quiet and anything he said was cutting. It wasn't the Lambert Aiden knew at all. But he reasoned that maybe Lambert was nervous about bringing a Cat home. The higher up they got, the faster Lambert's heart beat. Perhaps it was the excitement of coming home after so long, at least that was what Aiden told himself. He figured once they were done with the dangerous path up to Kaer Morhen then Lambert would relax. He was wrong.

They made it into the warmth of the halls and what followed was the most uncomfortable introduction Aiden had ever endured. Lambert stopped, arms crossed over his chest as he regarded the other three.

"This is Aiden. You break him, I break your necks." With that, Lambert stomped out, bristling and grumbling under his breath. Hastily, Aiden followed after a quick wave that the three Witchers looking suitably non-plussed by it all.

What was strange was that Lambert didn't settle. He was a fountain of bitter remarks, sarcastic quips and brash aggression. Aiden couldn't make heads or tails of it. The others didn't react, didn't seem like they even wanted to try and calm the situation. In the end Aiden couldn't stand by anymore and cornered Eskel, demanding answers.

"What do you mean?" The thing was, Eskel genuinely seemed confused. "That's just Lambert for you. You've known him for years now, surely you're used to it."

But Aiden wasn't. He hadn't seen Lambert like that before, so on edge. "No," he replied in the end. "This isn't how I know him. His heart rate's high, he's callous, spikey, lashing out. That's not the Lambert I know."

The look Eskel gave him was one of strange reproach. "The mutagens didn't fully take with him, his heart's always been faster than a normal Witcher's. As for the rest, I don't know what swamp water you drink to block it out but that's Lambert in a nutshell."

It wasn't. Aiden knew Lambert, spent years listening to his steady heartbeat, relishing when they fell in sync most nights. He'd seen the kindness and patience Lambert had out on the Path and at the Caravan. There was no mocking for getting footwork wrong, no calling the other person an idiot with a scoff. Nor had Aiden ever seen Lambert pace before, a restless tracing of a path between window and door of the bedroom. The growled "don't touch me" sounded full of threat, so much like a dog trying to prove he could really hurt an opponent in an effort to stave off an actual fight. Seeing Lambert like that hurt and Aiden didn't know what had provoked the change.

Things got worse when they were making repairs to Kaer Morhen, trying to undo all the damage the sacking had done. With the parts they inhabited secure and warm, Vesemir directed their work to the dungeons, salvaging what they could. Smoke stained books and scrolls along with bottles that contained the dregs of potions were pulled from partially collapsed rooms. Lambert was exceptionally acerbic, sniping at everyone including Aiden. It was all ignored until he snapped at Vesemir, "so what's the plan here, old man? Going to open up the torture chambers again to get your rocks off?"

"Another word from you and you'll be running the Killer twice before each meal," Vesemir growled, grabbing another thick book covered in ash and rock debris.

Throwing his hands up, Lambert stormed off, muttering about how he'd rather run the Killer night and day than suffer this idiocy. Nobody seemed to care that his breath had hitched and heartrate was rocketing higher. Well, Aiden cared. Seeing as none of the others looked interested in following Lambert, he took it upon himself.

"Best to leave him," Eskel called after him. "He'll probably destroy a few training dummies in a fit of rage and then calm. Ignoring him leads to the fewest injuries for all."

Not that Aiden cared. He followed the sour scent that Lambert had been coated in all winter, maybe even before that. True to Eskel's prediction, he was in the training yard but he wasn't decimating dummies. Instead, Lambert was staring blankly off into the distance, muscles locked into a tense hunch.

"Lamb?"

His name seemed to jerk Lambert out of whatever thoughts he'd gotten lost in. Whirling, he rounded on Aiden with a snarl. Not rising to it, Aiden held a arm open and stepped closer, inviting Lambert into a cuddle. His heart broke a little when Lambert reared away, spitting with rage. "Don't touch me!"

Truthfully, Aiden didn't have to, he could see the solid lines of muscles, coiled tight. Everything about Lambert screamed to be left alone but he couldn't, not when there was something so underlyingly wrong. If Aiden didn't know any better, he'd have said that anyone else behaving like Lambert was having a silent panic attack. Maybe Aiden didn't know any better. He'd rarely heard Lambert speak of Kaer Morhen or the others, and when it did it wasn't with fondness. Around them was destruction, every stone imbued with memories of a hard life. Aiden knew that the instructors were harsh, often punishing Lambert with a cane or deprivation as he grew up. Vesemir had been one of those men and Lambert had to face his tormentor on a daily basis. They'd been digging up the dungeon where the trials had been administered, pulling what they could on how to recreate the them. Each crumbling wall was another layer of memories of the sacking, of a life Lambert hated but had no idea how to leave behind. When the misery was the only thing he knew, the only steady thing in his life, it was easier to cling to it rather than embrace the terror of the unknow.

Keeping his distance, Aiden nodded. "It's okay." It wasn't but he had no idea what else to say. They were going to have to get through winter, it was too late to head down the mountain. But as soon as it was safe, Aiden was whisking Lambert away from it. He wasn't letting him face the traumas of his past again and again. It wasn't healthy to rip open those wounds, to come face to face with living memories each time he saw Vesemir and Kaer Morhen.

When Aiden stepped in again, Lambert didn't scuttle away. Instead, he was stiff as a board in Aiden's arms, quivering with pent up emotions. Slowly, Aiden rubbed his back, tried to urge him to relax into his hold. Ever so gradually Lambert did, letting Aiden take a fair chunk of his weight as the shaking got more pronounced. Without a word, Aiden held him, gave him the quiet and the space to finally fall apart. It made him wonder whether, in years gone by, Lambert would allow himself to break apart each night in the privacy of his room. Now, with Aiden there, had he been trying to hold it all together, no space safe enough to let his emotions out? Shuddering at the thought, Aiden held Lambert tighter. Come next year, they were going to spend winter with the Caravan again. Never again was Lambert going to have to face the haunting wraiths of his past. Not if Aiden could help it.

#lambden #lambert/aiden #lambert #aiden #the witcher #cw: panic attacks #tldr: lambert has silent panic attacks at kaer morhen

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sunflowerdarlingx · 4 years

Text

Fred Weasley - “Fred doesnt date” 2

Hi everyone, I hope you’re all okay <3

Here is part two to “Fred doesn’t date”, please let me know what you think, I do have a part three idea ready but wont post it unless some of you want it.

PART ONE

Female Reader

Warnings: none

------------------------

Some might say Fred Weasley was scared to commit, some would say he enjoyed the player lifestyle and others would say he was some sort of sex addict who just enjoyed multiple partners but not all at once.

The truth was, Fred was indeed scared. He felt that the people close to him were he only ones he could trust, the only ones he could truly open up to. He was very happy with his life and his relationships, those he chose to build were stronger than most. He never expected to be drawn to Y/N, he also never expected to develop the feeling he did.

He was utterly shocked at the way their relationship progressed, he had never felt this before, the butterflies he would get when he saw her or the way his heart fluttered when their skin made the slightest contact or the undeniable feeling of love he had when she fell asleep in the common room all cuddled up into Fred’s chest after a night of her homework and him planning pranks.

This is why Fred Weasley didn’t date. It always got complicated. Feelings of anger, hatred, sadness filled him up and he couldn’t take his eyes away from the scene in front of him. Cedric placed a kiss on Y/N’s jawline before placing one on the corner of her lips. Soon enough his lips were on hers as his hand moved down to her waist whilst the other supported the back of her neck so he could pull her closer.

Fred knew he should look away, he knew he was torturing himself watching the scene in front of him unfold.

He wanted to scream, he wanted to go over there and pull Cedric as far away from Y/N as he could. An overwhelming need to break his hands for even touching Y/N in such away creeped inside his body and his fists clenched at his side.

How dare he.

How dare he stand there and touch her, kiss her, do all the things that Fred should be doing with her.

Surely he had heard the rumours. He knows how close they had been getting. How dare he interrupt that and take her away from him.

Tears pricked at the corner of Freds eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. He knew he couldn’t stay there, so he didn’t. He forced himself to look away form the two and turned to head back to his dorm.

He thought Y/N liked him, he thought she felt the same way he did. Why did she kiss Cedric if she knew?

He was angry with himself, he was so stupid to let himself get attached to her in the first place, he knew it was a bad idea but she was so bloody addictive. Every little thing about her drove him mad but in the best way possible.

As Fred walked down the corridor the tears started to fall freely from his eyes, scared someone would see him he ran as fast as he could up to his dorm. A few girls saw him and tried to stop and speak to him but his feet carried him straight past them. His top teeth were embedded in his bottom lip to stop the sound of heartbreak escaping his mouth.

Even after what he just saw, no other girl could take his attention away from Y/N. He made it to his dorm, he was greeted by a smiling George who soon had a look of fear paint his face.

“What’s wrong Freddie?” his voice was laced with concern as he walked over to his brother. He had never seen Fred in such a state. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were wet with tears and his lip was bleeding slightly. It was obvious this wasn’t from a fight so what had gotten Fred so worked up?

Fred stood still in front of his brother, he looked around the room before a broken sob left his mouth, George’s heart broke at the sound. George wrapped his arms around Fred and pulled him close. “Mate what is it? You know you can tell me anything”

Loud broken cry’s left Freds mouth as all his emotions bubbled over, chocked sobs and snotty sniffles filled the room as he collapsed against George. Though Fred and George loved each other dearly, they never really hugged, it wasn’t uncommon but it wasn’t something they did regularly. They usually hugged when something good happened, like when they got the money for the shop that they planned on opening over the summer or when it was their birthday. George couldn’t believe that the reason they were hugging was because Fred was, well heart broken.

“Digger kissed her, he actually fucking kissed her” Fred shouted as he pulled away from George. “How fucking dare he, who does he think he is” he pulled his shirt over his head and wiped his face with it before putting it in the wash basket.

“Fuck...Fred I’m so sorry” George had never seen Fred so angry, even loosing quidditch to Slytherin never had him this mad. His hands were in fists by his sides whilst his chest heaved with anger, jaw clenched.

“I should have asked her sooner Georgie, why the fuck didn’t I ask her sooner” soon the anger was replaced by sadness, which consumed Freds body as he lay in his bed. He’s never been so emotional before, his heart literally felt like it had been broken in two, he felt weak… hopeless

“Cmon mate, why don’t we go down to dinner, food will help and I’m sure we could see if the elf’s could get you ice cream, like what mum does when you’re upset”

Fred buried himself in his duvet, “nah I think I’m gonna stay here, don’t really want to have to sit and watch her and perfect Diggory be all over each other again”

“I’ll take you something back then, just please come and find me if you need me, even send one of the first years down and I’ll be here as soon as I can okay?”

Fred nodded “turn off the lights please on your way out”, George left the room and anger flooded his body. He hated seeing any of his family sad but the fact it was Fred, it was prankster Fred who was always laughing but now broken, angered him even more. He wanted Fred to be happy but after seeing the state he was in, it felt like it would be a while before laughing Fred returned.

“Ced, I really think we should go and find Fred, what if he’s looking for us” Y/N pulled Cedric by the hand towards the staircase leading to the Gryffindor common rooms.

Cedric pulled her back toward him, wrapping his arm around her waist “cmon you agreed to a snack first” he looked down at Y/N with his best pleading eyes. She rolled her eyes before grinning at the boy beside her “fine, only because I’m hungry”

They made their way down the corridor, “he’s probably off shagging some girl in our year, doubt he’s looking for you”. Y/N felt angry hearing that, she knew Fred had a reputation but they had been getting closer and going on dates and stuff, surely he wouldn’t be off seeing other girls when he was suppose to be spending the day with her George and Lee.

“I don’t think so Ced, he was suppose to be spending the day with us” her voice was quiet as she looked ahead of her.

“Oh cmon Y/N you can’t be serious, Fred doesn’t care about that, as long as he’s getting a shag then he’s happy” Cedric laughed. “What’s going on with you two anyway?”

“Fred and Me? Nothing...we are just friends” Y/N looked down at the ground, the thought of Fred with another girl upset her, Y/N had always hoped that the rumours going around school just now were secretly true. That Fred was finally settling down with someone. With her.

Cedric turned them so Y/N rested against the wall, “are we friends Y/N” he asked as he rested his elbow above her.

“Of course Cedric, why would you ask that?” she looked up at him, forcing a smile.

“Well if I’m honest, I’ve always liked you Y/N, obviously I figured it’s better to tell you now before it’s too late. Especially since I’m leaving at the end of the year.”

“Oh Cedric...I’m not sure what to say, I’m flattered really” suddenly her shoes looked very interesting.

“Cmon Y/N, I’m so much better for you than Weasley, he can’t give you the things I can, plus you know his reputation just as well as I do. Remember that time Lucy is my year came into the common room crying her eyes out because Fred said he didn’t want her? What makes you think you’d be different?”

Y/N couldn’t help but frown. Cedric was right, Fred did have a reputation for hurting girls, she never thought he would really mean to hurt them but what if he did? He’d led her on and now he was no where to be seen.

Why would Fred change for her? She was nothing special. Plenty girls at school were prettier than she was, smarter than she was. She was a fool for thinking Fred would want something more.

“We would be good together Y/N and you know it. Summers in Italy or at yours, your brother loves me already so we know he’d be on board with it us. Plus, look” he gestured down to his body “who could say no to all this”.

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at Cedric, she had always found him quite attractive, though they really only started speaking last year, Y/N had lost all her puppy fat over the summer, her boobs had gotten a bit bigger and her arse and curves were more defined.

“Hmm summers in Italy do sound good” she teased

“I’d hope I’d get your attention more than just through the summer” he leaned down placing a kiss on her cheek.

“I’m sure we could arrange that if it’s your deepest desire” he smirked against her before placing another kiss on her cheek.

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted” he teased, placing another kiss on her jaw, “can I kiss you?” His voice was a low whisper in her ear. Y/N wasn’t sure what to say, on one hand she would like to kiss Cedric, she did use to have a crush on him, but the other part of her wanted to say no, hopeful that Fred would maybe want her.

Her body reacted before she could, nodding at Cedric. He grinned down at her, he ran his hand across her cheek pushing her baby hairs back form her face, she giggled at the contact. Cedric placed a soft delicate kiss on her jaw and then her lips, soon enough their lips where moving in sync but something felt off.

She pulled away before smiling up at Cedric “cmon we better go and get ready for supper” she places her hand in his and pulled him towards the common room.

When she got to dinner she sat with Cedric, laughing with him and his friends, her attention was drown to the flash of ginger hair walking into the hall. It was George, she looked over and smiled at him, shock consumed her when he glared at her. If looks could kill she��d have been dead.

His eyes trailed down to the table where Cedric has his hand rested on top of hers. George looked angry, his face turned slightly red and his nostrils flared. He walked over to the Gryffindor table, immediately meeting with lots of “you okay George?” “Where’s Fred?” “What’s got you so angry?”.

He was sat with Lee, Angie, Alicia and Katie, once he told them all what happened they were fuming. None of them really liked Diggory in all honesty, from the way he acted during quidditch to his show off personality, they all thought he was a bit of a tool.

To say there were all shocked was an understatement, they had all seen Y/N and Fred together and even they knew they were more than friends.

“Well I won’t be saying hi to her again any time soon” Alicia said in a bitchy tone, “how could she do that to Fred?”.

Fred eventually got hungry, and honestly he hoped food would comfort him. He pulled on a hoodie with his grey joggers and made his way down to the great hall. As he entered he avoided looking over at the Hufflepuff table, usually he would look for Y/N and send her a wave or a wink or a goofy grin but not today. Not ever again, he thought to himself when he reached his friends. He was sat in between Lee and George, both of them giving him a pat on the back as he sat down.

They tried to distract Fred by talking about new pranks and quidditch plays but he wasn’t really paying attention. He was desperate to turn around and look at her, to go over and pull her away from perfect Diggory and convince her that she should be with him instead but he knew he had to be strong. He knew he didn’t stand a chance against Diggory, after all, he he was the better option, he would give her the things Fred couldn’t, like luxury holidays to Italy.

Ginny came over to them and sat in-between Fred and Lee, giving her brother a comforting hug once he explained what happened. A few little sobs leaving his mouth which he covered with a cough. Fred had spoken to Ginny loads about Y/N, she was the only one who wouldn’t slag him off for being all lovey dovey about her.

“Fred, don’t look now but Y/N is coming over” Alicia said as she kept looking over to where Y/N walked over towards the table. Fred groaned and felt his eyes start to water.

Ginny turned around and glared at the girl coming towards her, “bitch” she mumbled before turning to Fred. “Want me to tell her you don’t wanna talk?”

“Fuck” he rubbed his eyes with his pointer finger and thumb, “it’s okay gin, I can’t exactly avoid her”. Y/N came over and wrapped her arms around Fred’s neck, pulling down his hood “what’s up with you Freddie?” her voice whispered in his ear. Fred tensed at the contact, before relaxing at her voice.

Y/N was worried about Fred, he was never usually late to dinner and she didn’t even get her usual goofy smile off him.

Her voice was one of his favourite sounds, he often fell asleep to her voice in the common room late at night when he’d sneak her in. His head would rest on her lap as she read muggle tales to him, the way her voice soothes him sent him into deep slumbers. He couldn’t help but melt in her arms and at her words, she’s always so caring.

He looked at his friends who were all sending glares her way. He sucked in a breath before pulling her hands away from his neck, he turned around and looked at her. She frowned at his current state, his hair was a mess, eyes bloodshot and face red.

“Nothing I’m good” Fred stood up and, made his way out of the hall.

“What’s up with him Georgie?” She turned to look at Fred make his way out the hall.

Ginny scoffed and rolled his eyes at her, “hmm I wonder” sarcasm laced her voice as she tapped her chin. Ginny learned at a young age to look after herself and then she very quickly realised she had to look after her family. They always came first and no one said anything bad about them.

She’d had her fair share of arguments with boys and girls over the years, boys trying to slag off her brothers out of jealousy and girls complaining about rejection. Knowing how much Fred liked and cared for Y/N only made Ginny angrier, Fred actually allowed himself to get close to someone and she broke him. She stood up to face Y/N, eyes staring her down, “why don’t you go ask your new boyfriend Diggory? Maybe you two can recreate some of the dates my brother took you on”, her voice was cold as ice as she spoke. She shoved past Y/N and went to look for Fred.

Y/N’s eyes widened as she looked down at George, he just looked at her before a “she’s right” left his mouth and him and the rest of the people he was sitting with left the hall.

Y/N was shocked, she was an idiot for underestimating what she and Fred had. She stood for a moment trying to think about everything that had happened. She majorly regretted kissing Cedric now, she should have spoken to Fred, asked how he felt but she was an idiot. She let her insecurities get the better of her.

She decided to go to her dorm and call it a night, at about 2 am she woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep, her mind in overdrive. She decided to go for a wander out to the gardens to look at the stars.

Fred was in and out of sleep, if he wasn’t having dreams about him and Y/N, he was dreaming about her and Cedric.

He woke up after dreaming about walking in on Y/N and Cedric, Cedric was above her, hands running down her body, they were laughing at Fred as he stood at the door watching.

“Oh Freddie, you didn’t actually think you had a chance with me, did you?” Y/N’s giggle flooded the room but it wasn’t her normal laugh, it was laced with mockery and hate. “Why would I settle for you, poor little Fred Weasley, can’t even commit to a girl. You honestly think I’d settle for that? Cedric treats me so much better”. Cedric leaned down kissing her roughly..

Fred shot up from his bed, chest heaving as he tried to calm down. He was an idiot for thinking he stood a chance, why would she be his when he’d been with so many other girls? When Cedric could offer her the world and he could offer her a summer at the burrow?

He got up and chucked on shorts and a hoodie, making his way out his dorm and out the portrait. He made his way around the castle avoiding the prefects and Filtch. He reached the gardens and was sat on the grass looking up at the stars above him.

He was staring up at the moon, all he could think about was Y/N, the way she laughed, the way she listened to everything Fred had to say, the way she could brighten up even the darkest days and the way she made everything better.

He thought about Christmas, he’d asked her to stay with them over the festive period. He was looking forward to spending all his free time with her, playing in the snow and showing her all his favourite places around the burrow. He knew she’d love their garden, the stars were even clearer there. He was to engrossed in thought that he hadn’t heard Y/N walk up behind him,

He was even looking forward to having her meet his mum and dad. Molly was shocked when she saw the letter from Fred asking for his new friend-girl to stay over at Christmas. Molly had a feeling another sweater may be needed.

“Freddie….” Her voice was a whisper but still managed to make him jump “can I join you?”……..

Part Three

Tagged

@manuosorioh @itsbebeyyy @britishspidey @supermassiveblackhope @impossibelle @jenniweaslee

#Fred weasley imagine #Fred weasley smut #Fred weasley x reader

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