#I am not happy being a woman and I cannot see myself as a man

[xdemonicheartx]

Ive been struggling a lot with my self image to the point I’m having breakdowns in the mirror. I need help from anyone who can.

I’m AFAB agender/non binary and ive got some gripes about me I want help in altering in any way if I could get help finding resources or workouts or anything that would help me achieve a more masculine silhouette I would kiss you on the mouth (with your consent of course )

I am 24 years old, 5’7”/170.18cm, 195lbs/88.5kg, type one diabetic, neurodivergent (diagnosed ADHD, high suspicion of comorbid Autism though i cannot get an official diagnosis because the waitlist closest to home is a 2 year wait as of 2022) fibromyalgia is also present for anyone who needs any context regarding health concerns surrounding medical procedures they might recommend or suggest

Below are the things I need help in changing as a list with some details surrounding my anatomical structure

My goal is to be completely unsure if I’m a male or female with a look alone but with androgyny that can be a pretty broad area. I know if I gain upper body musculature that can help but I cannot afford a gym membership yet

vvv More below vvv

I have an exceptionally voluptuous butt. Its almost comical to me, I would say I’m slim-thick or pear shaped. Its the type of back end that a lot of cis femme women would covet, its mostly muscle tissue due to years of athletics but theres also scar tissue from years of insulin injections

My hips are VERY wide. Like I said I’m pear shaped, I hate the curvy figure I have and its rounded edges, I have small pockets of fat resting on my hips that only add to the figure

I have a very stubborn hormonal fat deposit on my stomach I want to stop oral birth control which is the most likely culprit but I currently cannot until I can get a hysterectomy

I have a muffin top and artificial hip dips due to fat deposits that I am looking to tame

Chest dysphoria, I don’t have large boobs, they’re a perky B/C cup. I would consider top surgery but I don’t know how to bring that up with my partner. I do use a fytist binder and I love how my chest looks flat/with nice pectoral muscle (even if its smushed boob). My partner loves the way I am shaped overall but I do not. (He/him/they/them bisexual)

Facial features are so rounded and I cant contour to save my life. I know losing weight will be seen in the face first but what else can I do?

Speaking of face I have loose skin under my chin thats not a double chin but any type of glance downward makes a pseudo double chin and I’m incredibly insecure about it. I have a relatively feminine jaw line and I have a jaw exerciser/silicone bite that I need to use more. Are neck tucks something available for me?

I have hooded eyes, they make me look so tired. I know eye lid lifts are a procedure but thats something I would need to save up for and plan for, I am unsure if losing weight would change this

The triceps of my arms feel like they’re on the road to bingo wings/bat wings, I know the tricep is supposed to hang freely when relaxed and not in use but when my arm hands at my side there is a bit of pudge above my elbow that says “body fat” and not soft muscle

I understand weight loss can help with a small handful of these and muscle building can too but there are additional features and traits that cannot be worked for aside from medical intervention and cosmetic electives. I’m looking for workouts, medical procedures and price ranges, shapewear, makeup tutorials, diets that help in weight loss or muscle gain, and literally anything else that might help me feel like this is my body. Its becoming a large hinderance on my mental wellbeing

I really cannot keep dwelling on how my body is wrong when its something I am stuck with for life so all I can do is work to alter it and care for it. However I know these alterations are possible. Ive seen incredible transformations and transitions within the trans community and NB communities and I’m really hoping some of your experiences can be passed onto me so that I can live as myself too

I appreciate those that have taken the time to read this far. Thank you

[doberbutts]

Anyway yes, people who can X should be accomodating to people who can't X. People who can walk should accomodate people who can't. People who can hear should accomodate people who can't. People who can see should accomodate people who can't. And on and on. When that doesn't happen, it's a problem that deserves to be talked about.

But the problem is not and has never been "physical disabilities are more important and deserve more accomodations than mental disabilities"- nor the other way around either.

People love to dunk on folks with ADD/ADHD but you know? As someone with ADD raised by diabetic parents I gotta say there's a lot of similarities here. People with ADD, myself included, often forget to eat and when they do eat they often load themselves up with carbs and sugars because those foods make their brains feel good. People with diabetes have to closely monitor their meals and often crave sugars and need a blend of sugary and protein-rich snacks on hand. This is not to say ADD and diabetes are exact one-to-one disabilities.

But having grown up watching my parents manage their diabetes, I too am very aware of meal times and blood sugar and constructing meals that will tide you over and having a blend of sugary and protein-rich snacks on hand Just In Case. I am able to manage my ADD better in this way because I have experience from watching my parents. I also need access to snacks and to be able to say to my boss "I need to go eat something real fast" without being punished.

I had a training client who was the image of "able bodied mentally ill" outside of the usual creaks and squeaks associated with age, her body worked just fine. But after a series of incidents in her youth- a car accident that left her with a serious brain injury, coming home from the hospital afterwards to immediately have her house broken into and herself raped by an intruder, and assorted medical malpractice while she was healing from both- she has a serious and extreme case of agoraphobia and spent the next 40 years completely unable to leave the house. She would hide and wail and scream when deliveries of groceries and other goods would come, because it meant a stranger (and usually a man) would be at her door. She could not go more than a couple steps outside to get her mail and especially not if other people were outside.

At some point her therapist suggested getting a pet, one that *had* to go outside, to help her. So she got a dog and contacted a trainer (me) and we got to work. And she did improve! The dog has been a huge help to managing her symptoms! But you cannot seriously expect me to have worked with this woman for years and then belittle mental illnesses as being lesser when this woman also shares the inability to even leave her house let alone go inside a grocery store. Even today there are times when she simply cannot, she cannot will her body to move out of her door and into transportation let alone into the building.

When she first started coming to me she thanked me for not belittling her or making her feel bad for classes she had to cancel because she couldn't force herself to take the first step over the threshold. That is when she told me what happened to her and that while it sounds terrible she was really happy to have found a trainer who knew something personal about trauma and brain injuries. She is also a case where I feel her ESA should be considered service dog not because of training or tasking but because her need is so high and she is just completely incapable of doing anything without the dog in her arms.

Anyway I think of her any time someone says "but you can walk through the door". There's nothing wrong with her legs so in theory sure she could. But often she *can't*, not because of anything physical, but because she is very severely mentally ill.

[pearl-tarotist]

🌸 Messages from your future spouse 🌸

{I have not touched my tarot cards in weeks but lately I have had an urge to make this Pac}. Your future spouse wants to communicate with you about something.

PILE 1

Honey,

I have finally done it...I have surpassed the obstacles and I have reached my goals, but I find myself with palms full of time. The hours that I used to work on them have fallen over me like a weight. What must I do now?

I am content and happy due to my victory but also tired, so I need to rest and recover some energy...but between rests and naps, I can just think of you, my dear future spouse. I can just think about having someone that I can hold in my hands... instead of this void and meaningless empty hand. Something is awaking on me, the need to have someone that I could take care of, someone that I could spend my time with. I have suddenly been dreaming about you...not you as someone with bones and skin but fantasizing about your laugh and your warmness and the softness of your skin when sleeping in the same bed. At my side. I want that close intimacy that one can just get when falling in love.

I have changed because now I want you ...does it sound bad? The idea that I did not want you before? I'm sorry, I don't think I was even aware of this void inside of me while working. I don't know... I just want to hold you and not let you go. I want to kiss your hand and hold your face against my chest... can you listen to my heartbeat?

I am just so ready for this new adventure...not even and adventure if I am being honest. I am just ready for you...and eager too. From one day to other all my focus has changed to your needs. I am ready not just for a relationship but for a life companion...I am ready to bathe you in tenderness and love.

God, I want to fall in love with you so much. Please, come soon. I am waiting for you. Excuse my eagerness and my selfishness but, have you been feeling our connection lately or have you been thinking about me too? Do not say you have not or you will break my heart.

Eagerly waiting for you,

Comments: this man/woman woke up once with an extreme need on their chest. They are full of love and they are waiting for you. I guess this is what they wanted to tell you, that they are ready to commit and take care of you. Some of them want to call you baby, honey, darling, mi amor, amore mio...all type of petnames, but overall they want to pronounce your name so badly but they are unaware of it. They miss you already 😭. I could have keep writing about their feeling for the next 3 days because their feeling are intense but I cannot do that or...should I?

Temperance/ 9 of wands/ 7 of Cups / Wheel of fortune/ 4-3 of wands

PILE 2

I'm confident in us. I have enough trust in the world to know that I will find you, that they will put someone as perfect as you for me. I believe that the world will help us and will put us in the same path and even if they do not...I will search for you. For someone as graceful, nurturing and beautiful as you are.

Lately, things have been going well, I have found some sense of peace and harmony inside of me...I am ready for new adventures, for new people and a new love, that's you bb, ;). I am in an ambitious mode, it feels as if I had the energy to fight against dragons and monsters just to get to you, my princess and my queen. (your fs could call you a princess but see you as a queen).

I do not want to lie, you could think I am a bit of a playboy first as my jokes and flirting could be unoriginal or predictable but I just want you so much that I become of one of those stereotyped knights, just to get to you. What can I do to earn your interest? In those movies the knights were doing incredible conquests, saving kingdoms, being so flirty and sarcastic that the queen can just laugh about it... I want us to became those fantastic and romantic stories, wouldn't you like it?

I mean...you are just like a queen. You are nurturing, clever, beautiful, intuitive...It feels as if you could see everything about me at just one glance with those beautiful eyes of yours and I feel so...naked and seen. Sometimes, I think I'm just not enough so I just want to keep entertaining you with these quests even when it looks dumb from outside. Is it bad that I want you to just keep your attention on me?

I'm persistent, sarcastic and not scared to speak my mind...what a bad combination. I am just lucky and in love with you so much to hope that it is enough.

Always yours to serve you,

The Star/ Knight of Wands/ Queen of cups/pentacles /Knight of Cups/ Strength

PILE 3

From outside it seems that I have everything, as if my life was perfect...I am self-sufficient, I have people to dine with, people to dance with, friends that I can call and family that I spend time with but...I'm not that confident.

Inside of me, I have this recurrent doubt and insecurity....I am still young, I am still learning...I don't want to keep myself into the jail of the known. It seems foolish to some to change my lifestyle and comfortable routine when for some it is to everything they aspire to in life, but is it really that good?

I don't know if the people I involve myself with are the best. Are they trustworthy? Generous? Good people? I don't know.

That's why I think about you, my little ghost, you are present with me when I think about the future. I know we will be good to each other, we both will be young, we will learn about everything with time, patience and love. I have no doubts that we will grow wealthy, healthy and clever.

I think I am allowed to dream when I feel so much for us. Isn't it good that we will grow together and stablish our own bases? We won't copy others, we will be irreversibly us. And that's why I appreciate you so much.

I love you, take care.

10 of Wands/ 9 of Swords/The Moon/ page and knight of pentacles

This reading belongs to @pearl-tarotist.

[rainbow--panic]

RDR2 NSFW headcannons

After long await I am back with some content for your eye holes

A friend of mine got me into RDR2 so i decided to warm myself back up with quick prompts for yall

Feel free to hit up my inbox with requests for rdr2!

Please don't dm me requests as I forget about them since i never check dms here

Minors DNI

+18 content below!

Characters: Arthur, Charles, Sadie, and Sean

Arthur Morgan

  +Strikes me as the type of guy who doesn't like touching you intimately in cap

  +I mean have you seen his tent? no privacy and out in the open (so he could obviously watch what's happening in the camp)

  +Seems like he may be into a bit of bondage, likes to tie you up all nice like and give you something to hollar about

  + Such a gentlemen tho,the ropes he ties you up with are never uncomfortably tight, unlike you ofc

  + This man is touched starved, so whenever you aren't tied up he loves when you touch him

  + He loves when you put your arms around his neck as he's pounding into you

  + Strikes me as a missionary man

  + Praise kink? I think so

  + Love praising you and worshiping your body

  + becomes flustered when you do it back tho

  + Loves hearing you moan

  + He's not much of a tease, he is here to serve you

  + Not experimental unless you want to try something

  + will do anything for you

  + wants to see you happy

  + He's definitely a soft dom

  + He loves it when your bratty 

  + like to remind you whos in charge from time to time

Charles Smith

  + Compete sweetheart

  + first time was passionate and you could feel all the love he had for you

  + Private man so yall probably did the nasty in a beautiful location in the woods

  + either on a large blanket or with the privacy of a tent

  + Made sure all your needs were met before his own

  + has a think for biting/marking

  + loves marking your thighs

  + While he's down there marking you, he'd be working his magic as well

  + let's just say he is a master of tongue jutsu

  + has you moaning like a madman all night

  + since he's a mountain of a man so I imagine he's trying to be so gentle with you

  + some nights though you don't want the gentle soul

  + You want the rough outlaw 

  + on the nights when your most needy you need a good fuck, a rough fuck

  + No matter what you need he is here for you, all hands on deck

  + When he's not eating you out he enjoys some doggy style

  + loves towering over you, makes him feel like he is in complete control

  + will put an arm around your waist when he's getting really into it

  + loves kissing your shoulders and back

Sadie Adler

  + You think you're in control? Think again!

  + Total freak in the sheets if you catch my drift

  + Loves to have control in the bedroom and rarely, if ever, gives it up

  + likes when you dress up all cute like

  + wearing a short dress or shorts or form fitting shirt? 

  + she'll teach you to strut around without giving her a show first

  + strikes me as the kind of woman to be into a bit of roleplay

  + you being the damsel in distress and her being the outlaw who just so happened to be by to hear your call for help

  + she is a tease, especially when your bratty

  + enjoys being on top at all times

  + hickeys are common to find on your neck and chest

  + loves feeling your body up and down and loves when you do it too

  + she loves when you message her breasts

  + after a hard days work, being out and riding with the men it's a nice thing to come back to

  + she's not evil, just makes you work at times

  + oh you're needy? now? well she has some things she needs to do but if you make it worth her while she'll stay

  + been bratty and teasing a lot lately? well she just remembered she has to travel out for a few days

  + from scale of mommy to mommy, she is a 10/10 

Sean Macquire

  + The smug fucker

  + he's a switch and you cannot change my mind

  + prefers when your on top giving out the orders

  + part of him wants to know exactly what you want while the other part just doesn't want to do all the thinking

  + he dosen't care if the whole cap hears you and him all night long

  + the thought of getting caught thrills him, to your dismay

  + he is the type of man to enjoy quickies

  + he has no one kink, he loves trying them all

  + very experimental

  + likes to fuck you in diffrent locations as well

  + in camp? yes

  + in the woods? check

  + in a freezing cold river while you clothes get washed down stream? absoulteley

  + his favorite part of any intimate moment is being able to hold you

  + he loves having you close to him

  + when he's on guard duty he tries to convince you to come with him

  + anyways your no longer allowed to as hosea had caught the two of you and you are too much of a distraction for him

[sgiandubh]

What makes a very mature and educated woman confuse the charisma of Jamie and Claire and fall behind the illusion of Sam and Cait?

Look at this picture and many others, look at Cait's smile and the happiness in her eyes

Look at the color of Tony's lips, I don't need to continue

Below this picture are many pictures of them from many years ago

This man has been a reality since 2015, so let us accept reality even if we do not like it

Note: I would love to read everything you write aside from Outlander and S&C

Dear (b)Itchy Anon,

Ah, yes. You folks are definitely a very predictable bunch, because you simply cannot help yourself and just have to do it. Every. Single. Christmas. Eve. For reasons transparent enough to make you & your kin instantly unlikeable.

I was just thinking, the other day, believe it or not. I was thinking of the disingenuous way you - or someone like you - engaged with @cb4tb on another Christmas Eve and told myself: 'I bet the farm this year it's going to be me'. And here we are, with a rather long - and also, rather curious- comment. What am I going to do with you, Anon? Just write a rather long and ironic answer to your delirious rant, what else?

Calling me 'very mature' made me spit my Pepsi - always better in Romania than the eternal Coca-Cola - and I have to dubiously and cheaply congratulate myself, too. In about six months, you were forced to transition from 'Christ, shippers are stupid' to 'Golly, some -if not most - of them really are educated people'. An apparent paradox that never made you question your surroundings.

For instance, I do not need to wear a turban, sport a cigarette holder, rent a garish tent and call myself Miss Cleo, in order to tell with eerie precision English is not your mother tongue, either. You still do have a big problem with phrasal verbs, because you couldn't have possibly meant I 'fell behind the S&C illusion', but rather that 'I fell for that illusion'. You see, falling behind is 'failing to do something in time' or 'being late with a due payment' or 'being unable to make the same progress as one's peers'. We, shippers, naturally have this kind of superpowers. And seasoned bullshit-o-meters, too.

For your information, I haven't. I explained it at length. There is no possible way to do it if one uses common sense and street smarts only. What I did see, along with thousands of other people, mind you, had absolutely -forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin again - fucking nothing to do with Seamus and Sorcha. I mean, d'oh - is this your best argument, Anon? That sad, wilted talking point? Wow. Just wow.

Then, you totally lose control and take The Scarecrow out of the closet (yes, pun totally intended), in the hope you'll make me screech with dread & horror, I suppose. Exactly which one of the five to ten max Tait pics am I supposed to look at? The one at the marathon, where he checks her pulse? The one in Australia, when he pitifully dangles that stick on a beach? The one with the flute? The fist-in-hand one? The one at this year's IFTA, where she looks through him and he begs for a smile? I shall never know, because you do not add any picture and since I am not Miss Cleo, there's no way I could ever guess. Instead, you describe Neverland in Technicolor, lips included (so help me God, I never looked at McIdiot's lips: I take pride in being mentally sound). Indeed, there is no need to continue, Anon, lest you would insist to ridicule yourself.

This man has been a (questionably) useful prop since 2016, in order to give credence to a narrative. You all know it. You all deny it. You live in a parallel reality, currently embraced by PR. Amen. That does not give you the right to police this fandom and no, your derailed zeal will not get you any Brownie points from C.

Speaking only for myself, I will tell you one last time: I will never blindly accept a convenient compromise fiction just because TPTB and/or PR tell me so.

Note: I doubt my writing interests you. I really do, because I don't deal in fanfic. And even if I am an Oriental, know flattery never worked with me. In fact, I can't stand it.

It's Christmas. Take a break from all this pathetic hatred, Anon: if you have but a cell left of humanity in yourself, you can't possibly be proud of this message and there are far more interesting and meaningful ways to spend this special day. He came for you, too. And that is the most important thing in the world, right now.

[delsshitposts]

I'm bored and am in a RWBY mood.

SO HERE ARE MY 10 FAVORITE RWBY SHIPS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER!

(Note: This is not a best ships list. This is a ships I personally like list. It literally means only that. If have you have different opinions than me, that's good.)

White Rose: Because come on. Come on! How could I not?

Bumbleby: Again, COME ON!

Crosshares: I am already out of reasons for obvious choices. They're just cute man

Renora: They can't all be gay ships. Hell do I even need to give a reason for this one?

Monochrome: Honestly I ship them because of a single artist who keeps drawing them and converted me to their way. They know who they are.

Nuts and Dolts: Amazing dynamic! These two together are just sensational together

Rosebird: Summer would attach herself to this woman and never let go until she starts being happy. And honestly, that's what Raven needs.

Strawberry Shortcake: I don't know how this happened. I read one fic and suddenly I was trapped in rarepair hell again

Ladybug: It's just adorable. At this point, put Blake with anybody, just don't leave her alone!

And I know I said in no particular order. But that doesn't apply to this one cause this is my favorite ship and I suffer for it.

Milk and Cereal: I cannot tell you how much I wish there was more for these two! 269 fics on Ao3 is what I'm working with. And if we exclude the multiship fics it's even less! I NEED MORE! I'm reaching the "Fuck it! I'll do myself!" stage!

Honorable mention to literally any ship that doesn't include Adam, Cinder, or Torchwick. All ships are great, but those three specifically can fuck off.

Also, Arkos is a good ship, and I would have it on here... But I see too much Jaune in my fic hunts. I just need a break from him.

I'm off to go force my brain into overdrive for fic ideas now.

[jennarations]

A comprehensive summary of the chaos that was the Netflix Cup:

- as the drivers/golfers walk onto the course a woman and a man are apprehended (by one of the hosts(?)) as they are waving posters and screaming something. lando was unbothered by this.

- everyone was introduced except alex for some reason

- the “speed” hole

- mark wahlberg is there. his daughter is interviewed and she reveals her favorite driver is lando. lando is once again unbothered by this.

- lando picking up his ball and being disqualified from the hole

- the golfers BOOKING IT and the hosts having shocked reactions to this feat (“who says golfers aren’t athletic!”)

- justin thomas to carlos “what did [host] say?” carlos “he said i’m pretty”

- random cuts to prerecorded nonsense

- the sphere being referred to solely as the egg

- the hosts making fun of the golfers and the golfers making fun back (very interesting i would not expect this level of sass from golf)

- pierre reveals he is a passenger princess “I don’t actually drive on the roads. i don’t like it.”

- shots of lando and carlos playing but pierre and alex are hot-mic’ed ???

- asmr whispering from one of the hosts telling zak brown she has to pee

- no one can hear each other

- zak brown can’t figure out his mic and it’s making so much noise you can’t hear anything else

- “mr. maximus homa this is joel damon, can you hear me?” “unfortunately, i can yes, joel.”

- max homa making fun of joel damon for a solid minute and then saying about alex “yo my partner is dialed, that’s the money” unhinged behavior

- host (same bodyguard from before - burt kreischer(?)) cannot express how excited he is to have steve aoki ask for his #

- not one host can pronounce sainz correctly

- “that’s sniffing my ball speed there” “ok joel”

- marshawn lynch “these golfers boutta get they happy gilmore on”

- squid game CHALLENGE HOLE(???) burt kreischer “are they gonna kill me or break out into dance? who knows but they are creepy as shit”

- burt yet again “i will piss myself on live television for $4.56 million. i’ve done it for less”

- the mystical steve aoki has appeared

- the (infamous) Albon Tumble™

- pierre aiming directly into the crowd and alex and max applauding him (kudos to finau for reassuring pierre afterwards that everyone is fine)

- a conversation: “smooth operator, is that your nickname?” “yes that’s what they call me” “how’d that happen?” “i sang it once after a race”

- marshawn lynch “i met the squid game people. you got triangle face, square cuz and circle head”

- alex announcing that the squid game doll looks like Lily. alex i will hunt you down (endearing)

- patrick mahomes phoned in to tell pierre the exact amount of coors lights’ he must drink to play golf effectively (i am not kidding)

- joel objectifying tony finau by commenting (in detail) about his arms and hands (i know what you are joel)

- “a sexy street circuit here in vegas” ma’am it looks like a pig what are you talking about

- carlos and justin won. burt wants to party like it’s new year’s eve. i would pay to see this

and thus wraps the (somewhat) comprehensive review ! maybe next year netflix will make it less of a shit show but honestly, iconic.

[sgstories123]

You are my Valentine

“You got Valentine’s date tonight?” Leena asked Peipei, as she poured hot water into her mug. The smell of Nescafe immediately filled the small pantry room.

“Why, you want to be my Valentine is it?” Peipei gave a naughty smile, caressing Leena’s perfectly round butt seductively before giving it a pinch and slapping them softly.

“Fuck lah! You think I lesbian?” Leena pushed Peipei’s hands away.

Peipei laughed. Since she joined the company about a year ago, Leena had been her closest colleague. They have lunch together most of the time and also meet each other to go shopping during the weekends.

Peipei thought to herself. Was she a closet lesbian? She looked at Leena closely. She must confess that Leena was indeed a voluptuous and sexy woman. Her breasts were the size of watermelons. Wearing a low cut, tight, bright red blouse, her breasts were squeezed upwards, screaming to be let out of the clothes, revealing a deep abyss of a cleavage that many men would be lost in. Her body tapered from the large upper body to a waist that was just right for any man to wrap their arms around. Wearing a short, low hung skirt, she showed enough of her smooth, light brown skin to make any man want to peel away all her clothes to see her naked.

“Adam wants to take me out for dinner at a fancy restaurant in Orchard Road tonight.” Leena continued. “At first, I thought it was a romantic Valentine Day’s dinner just for the two of us. But I was wrong. His cousin from Australia is in Singapore and wants to join us. So, I was thinking if you don’t have a date, how about you come along and double date? It will be so weird to have dinner with two guys on Valentine’s Day by myself.”

“What is so weird? You can do a threesome.” Peipei giggled, before adding, “Not like you have not done it before.”

“Fuck!” Leena shoved Peipei, spilling some of her Boh Tea.

Peipei was well aware of Leena’s sexual exploits as Leena had shared them freely with her. With Leena’s good looks and sexy body, she has no shortage of boyfriends. Sometimes, she even has more than one boyfriend at any one time. There was one time when she was caught on a date with one boyfriend by another of her boyfriend. To pacify both of them, they had a threesome. Somehow, all of them ended up being happy and broke up amicably after that. Leena was good not only in getting boyfriends but in breaking up with them as well.

“So, you have a date or not?” Leena persisted.

“You know I broke up with Ah Hock last July. How to have Valentine’s Day date? I am not like you, boyfriends lining up from one end of Orchard Road to the other end.” Peipei replied.

“No, you are wrong. My boyfriends line up from one end of Orchard Road to Changi Airport.” Leena laughed. “So you on for tonight?”

“Wait. The guy is ang mo?” Peipei asked, a little frown crossing her face.

“You stupid or what? Adam is Malay. How can his cousin be ang mo? I Malay. Is my sister Chinese?” Leena sighed exasperatedly.

“You say he from Australia what. How I know?” Peipei replied sheepishly.

“Why is that important? Whether he Malay, ang moh or Chinese?” Leena looked at Peipei curiously. “ You racist?”

“If I racist, I would not be your best friend, silly.” Peipei countered.

“Then why?” Leena’s curiosity was piqued.

“I only have a few boyfriends and they were all Chinese.” Peipei said slowly. “I am not like you. I don’t have boyfriends who are Malay, Indian and Caucasians. I am scared that they are different.”

“Different? What you mean? All the men are the same, just different skin colour.” A sudden realisation hit Leena. “Oh. You dirty-minded girl. You worried ang moh cock too big you cannot take it. You thinking of sleeping with Ahmad’s cousin, a guy you just met? You are a fucking slut!”

Leena roared loudly with laughter. She recalled telling Peipei about how her previous Caucasian boyfriend had a 9-inch dick and how Peipei was horrified of the thought of having such a large monster in her. Peipei must still be concerned with having sex with men with big dicks.

“Stop it. The whole office is going to hear, you idiot!” Peipei was embarrassed and pinched Leena on her shoulder. But that only made Leena laughed louder.

“Look. It is Valentine’s Day. I was only thinking that it is natural to have sex with your date. I am not dirty-minded.” Peipei said defensively. “If you don’t stop laughing, I won’t go on the double date with you tonight.”

It worked and Leena stopped laughing almost immediately, suppressing it into silent giggles and dirty looks.

Several hours later, Peipei and Leena joined Adam and his cousin Hazer at a fancy hotel restaurant in Orchard Road. It was the first time that Peipei had seen Adam. It was not surprising as Leena had only met Adam at a Christmas party. Leena change boyfriends so fast that Peipei has not even the chance to meet most of them.

Adam was good-looking with a boyish charm. He wore a long sleeved pale blue shirt and a pair of tight, black pants, with a very noticeable bulge. “Stop staring at my boyfriend’s cock.” Leena whispered when she noticed Peipei stealing glances at Adam’s crotch. Before Peipei could utter a protest, Leena teased her further. “Yes, he has a huge cock, thicker and longer than your Ah Hock and all your other Chinese boyfriends. You scared?”

Peipei ignored her and turned her attention towards Hazer. At thirty years old, he was the oldest among them. He wore a green casual jacket over a white t-shirt. He must have worked out in the gym as Peipei could see the muscular contours of his body behind the t-shirt. He told them funny stories of his life in Australia. Peipei caught his large eyes looking at her several times and could feel herself easily attracted to his charms.

After chatting and laughing over dinner, Leena stood up. “Sorry guys. Peipei and I have to go to the Ladies to touch-up our make-up.” Without waiting for a response, she pulled Peipei out of her chair and led her away.

“Did you see what the boys were eating?” Leena asked, once they entered the Ladies.

It was a buffet-style dinner. Peipei tried to recall what each of them was eating. “Adam ate chicken, prawns, noodles and ice-cream? I think Hazer had the rendang, soup and some cakes for desert. I can’t really remember. Why?”

“You silly girl. They both took oysters, a whole plate stacked right to the top.” Leena rolled her eyes.

“Oh yeah. That was quite early on. I forgot about it.” Peipei thought further before continuing. “And Hazer had some mussels as well.”

“You know what that means, right?” Leena probed.

“What?” Peipei was still puzzled.

“They want to fuck us. Oysters? They give men strength and stamina?” Leena offered. “Gosh. You are so inexperienced. Are you prepared?”

“Prepare?” Peipei asked.

“What do you have in you bag? Let me see.” Leena lost her patience and snatched Peipei’s clutch bag. It was only large enough to carry some cash, credit cards, keys and a couple of other small items. “I knew it. LuckyI prepared them for you. Here. Take this.”

Peipei looked at the small metallic case with a yellow smiley face on it. “What’s this?” She opened it and found three condoms. It was a condom carrying case.

“I can’t carry this. They will think I am a slut.” Peipei protested.

“Hazer’s staying in this hotel. I am sure they will ask us to his room later and fuck us there. Are you hoping that they are prepared? I don’t think so. Men prefer doing raw and don’t care if they get you pregnant.” Leena replied.

“You carry it. I get from you if I need it.” Peipei was totally embarrassed by this conversation. She looked around nervously and hope no one will overhear what they are discussing. Although Peipei tries to act mature at work, in reality, she was still sexually inexperienced and conservative.

“Don’t worry. I have my own special ones for Adam.” Leena gave a devious smile. She took out another box of similar size but with a picture of a naked couple in hot embrace. She opened it and inside were Okamoto’s Big Boy condoms. “Adam’s cock is bigger than most. Maybe bigger than my Caucasian ex-boyfriend. Scared right?”

“You think Hazer’s small size meh? For all you know, his one bigger than Adam’s.” Peipei fell for Leena’s taunt.

Leena giggled. “You crazy bitch. You defending Hazer like he your boyfriend. That’s it. You are definitely fucking him tonight. You are such a cheap whore.”

“This cheap whore will not only fuck Hazer but also your boyfriend Adam. I will show you I love big cocks as much as you do.” Peipei raised her voice. She regretted immediately as the door to the Ladies swung open and a group of teenage girls walked in. They clearly heard Peipei as they stared at her, giggling uncontrollably. Peipei walked out quickly, head turned away, hoping that they  did not catch a good look of her face. Leena really knew her well, tricking her into saying and doing all the most embarassing things. Peipei sighed. Is that the price of friendship?

Leena was right. When they returned to their table, they saw the men finishing off another plate of oysters, the empty shells glistening in the light. Now that Peipei was more aware of the significance of the oysters, she also caught meaningful glances between the two men. After dinner, the men suggested that they go up to Hazer’s room to catch the night view of Orchard Road. However, once they entered the room, Adam started hugging and kissing Leena passionately. There was only enough time for Hazer to close the door before Adam started removing Leena’s dress. Adam was more interested in the view of Leena’s naked body than Orchard Road at night.

Once Leena’s clothes were fully removed by Adam, Peipei realised that Leena was really beautiful and sexy. Her large breasts were equal in size and shape, a perfect mirror image of each other. They were beautifully shaped, large, round mounds of pleasure with large protruding nipples, seemingly invitingly delicious. Even Peipei who was a woman felt desire in wanting to suck those nipples and squeeze those huge ripe melons of breasts. The curves continued downwards from Leena’s breasts to her contoured waists, expanding outwards again at the hips, providing support to the perfect globes of ass that just hours ago, Peipei had pinched and slapped them. Further down, the curves flowed into her legs, showing off beautiful skin covering tight, muscular calves. Leena was a sexy goddess, Peipei thought. No wonder she had so many boyfriends.

Adam continued to kiss Leena, covering her whole body with his mouth. His hands worked feverishly in removing his own clothes. Peipei gasped when Adam stood out of his briefs. Leena did not lie when she said Adam had a huge tool. Adam’s cock was already erect, protruding outwards, quivering just so slightly as if it was also anticipating the union with Leena’s vagina. Adam covered Leena’s body with his own, moving along her body as he continued hugging, touching and kissing Leena. The only sound coming from Leena was her satisfied sighs of pleasure. Adam must be one good lover.

Lost in the sex show of Adam and Leena, Peipei was awakened only when arms went around her waist, pulling her backwards. She felt a blunt rod pushing up against her ass. She turned around, only to have Hazer pushing his mouth onto hers, forceful, with a tinge of animal lust. She could feel his breath on her cheeks, warm and moist. Hazer forced himself down further. Peipei craned her neck backwards, opening her mouth. Sensing an entry point, Hazer stuck his tongue into her mouth, sending electric sparks along her body as their tongues touch each other. He continued exploring her mouth while his hand moved upwards, partly supporting her arched body and partly unzipping her dress. A cool draft touched Peipei’s skin as her dress fell to the floor. It was only when her skin touched Hazer’s bare skin, that he was already naked. He must have removed his clothes when Adam and Leena were removing theirs. Peipei had been too mesmerised by the sex between Adam and Leena to notice. She moved her hands towards her back to gain some balance but instead grabbed Hazer’s hard cock. That was the blunt object that was pressing against her ass.

“You like my cock? Want to suck it?” Hazer whispered in her ear. Peipei looked into Hazer’s eyes. It was so beautiful and enchanting that it seemed to hypnotise her. She simply nodded, kneeling in front of Hazer and kissing his cock on its head.

Hazer’s cock seemed to be about the same size as her previous boyfriends. She did what they seemed to like, licking the head of the cock with her tongue, making swirling motions. She squeezed Hazer’s cock, sliding her hands along the shaft, before licking it from the balls all the way to the top. Sufficiently lubricated, she swallowed Hazer’s cock, slowly taking it in till it reached the back of her throat. Slowly at first, her lips traversed along the shaft, her tongue wrapping it tightly and her fingers squeezing the base of the cock. She let Hazer’s hands on her head guide her, increasing her pace as needed, to provide Hazer with maximum pleasure. She knew she was doing well as Hazer started moaning louder and louder in pleasure. He started to push her head onto his cock at a faster pace simultaneously pushing his hips, fucking her mouth relentlessly. With several quick thrusts, he ejaculated into her mouth, as his body shuddered with pleasure. He held onto Peipei’s head tight, forcing her to swallow his cum. Peipei held onto his bare butt, her mouth pressed against his body as his cum dripped out from the sides of her mouth.

“Good girl.” Hazer smiled at Peipei, stroking her head lovingly as he pulled his cock out of her mouth. He turned to look at Adam and Leena on the bed. Adam was now fucking Leena furiously in doggy style, his back towards them. “The bed’s occupied. Get up on the couch and lie down on your back.”

Peipei obeyed without a word. Hazer pulled off her panties, bringing them to his nose for a quick sniff. He closed his eyes and made a satisfied grunt. He unclasped her bra, revealing her erect pink nipples to the cold air in the room. Covering them with his mouth, he licked them, jabbing them expertly with his tongue and causing little waves of pleasure.

Peipei moaned softly. Hazer was so much better at sucking her nipples than her other boyfriends, she thought. She held onto his body, enjoying the touch of his muscled body, feeling the sense of masculinity strength behind the skin. She sighed as he pressed his body against her, feeling the contours of his muscles rubbing against her body. His fingers caressed her inner thighs and Peipei’s body tensed in anticipation. This is it, she thought. I am going to be fucking my first Malay man.

Hazer’s fingers rubbed against her slit, spreading the moistness that was emanating from her insides. Spreading them slowly, a finger pressed against the entrance, pushing its way into her. Peipei moaned in pleasure as a familiar feeling of warmth and completeness engulfed her lower body. It had been too long since she lost had sex. Her body jerked uncontrollably, beckoning the finger to enter her even more deeply, to fill her even more completely. Hazer allowed a second finger and then a third, expanding her entrance to pleasure. Peipei was now moaning even louder as Hazer quickened his pace. She grabbed his hands as the pleasure becomes more unbearable. She wanted him to stop and yet wanted him to continue. It was a dilemma. She thought she was going crazy with pleasure. Her body jerked upwards, towards Hazer’s fingers, willing it to go even faster and deeper. Her ass lifted, her body gave a final shudder, squirting her love juice all over Hazer as she groaned loudly, giving herself up to her orgasm. When she opened her eyes, she saw Hazer looking at her sweetly. She was tired but happy. She smiled.

Hazer returned the smile and spread open her legs. She saw Hazer’s cock was hard again and positioned between her legs.

“Wait. Put on a condom.” She remembered what Leena told her earlier in the evening.

“I don’t have a condom. Let’s just do it raw.” Sensing her hesitation, Hazer continued. “Adam is also not wearing a condom. What are you worried about?”

Peipei looked towards the bed. Leena was now riding Adam in reverse cowgirl position, her huge breasts swinging up and down, moaning loudly. She could not make out whether Adam was wearing a condom.

“Wait. I get you a condom.” Peipei sat up and retrieved the condom box from her bag, retrieving a condom for Hazer.

“You carry condoms in your bag? Alright. Looks like we are going to enjoy ourselves tonight.” Hazer smiled.

He rolled on the condom before spreading her legs again. He pushed it in slowly, enjoying the warm, tight cunt grabbing his hard cock. Peipei groaned in pleasure as Hazer’s cock filled her up. It was so different from his fingers, going much deeper and spreading her sides so much wider. This was what nature intended. A cock can never be replaced by anything else, not fingers, not a dildo.

Hazer lifted Peipei legs onto his shoulders as he pumped her, harder and faster. They were both now moaning and groaning in pleasure. Hazer turned Peipei over to her side, fucking her sideways. In this position, Peipei saw that Adam was done fucking Leena. He was seating on the edge of the bed, smiling at her while watching her being fucked by Hazer. Leena was lying motionless on the bed on her back, her legs spread wide open, proudly displaying her vagina for all to see.

“Cumming!” Hazer grunted as he thrust deeper and faster. He held onto Peipei’s body tightly as he ejacluated into her. Peipei grabbed her breasts, squeezing her nipples as she enjoyed the last few thrusts of pleasures. Hazer waited for his pleasure to subside before pulling his cock out of Peipei. Bending down to give her a kiss, he whispered “You are my Valentine.”

He got up from the couch and went to the bathroom. Peipei could hear the shower running. She was too exhausted to do anything except to continue lying on the couch.

She saw Adam smiling at her. She smiled back. Adam stood up, his cock erect. As he approached her, Peipei saw his cock up close. It was really much longer and thicker than any cock she has seen, much larger than Hazer’s even though he was older than Adam.

He kissed her, a gentle seductive kiss. Peipei knew it was wrong. Adam was Leena’s boyfriend and she is just sleeping in front of her in the same room.

“No, wait. You are Leena’s boyfriend.” Peipei whispered.

“So? When I first saw you enter the restaurant, I wanted to fuck you. You are so pretty.” Adam confessed. “I knew I had to fuck Leena to tire her out before I have a chance with you. So I ate a lot of oysters in preparation. I am so jealous that Hazer gets to fuck you first but now that both are away, you are mine.”

Adam turned her over on the couch and on her knees. Without warning, he positioned his hard cock onto her entrance.

“Wait. Wear a condom.” Peipei grunted.

“I can’t. They are too small and won’t fit.” Adam continued to pry open her vagina walls with his fingers, guiding his cock into her.

“Wait. Leena. Leena has condom of your size. Please.” Peipei moaned, trying to remain focused as Adam’s giant cock slowly entered her and the pleasure emanating from it started to blur her senses.

“No, she doesn’t. We fucked raw just now.” Adam insisted. “Just keep quiet and let me fuck you. I have been waiting for this the whole night.”

As Adam’s huge cock entered her, Peipei’s senses started to fade. She was only aware of a pleasurable numbing sensation from her lower body coursing through her whole body. She could not hear or see anything, just floating in pleasure. She is aware she must be screaming in pleasure as there was a vague sense of soreness in her throat. It was as if she was on drugs as she seems to see things floating past her. Then she came to her senses, as Adam bent forwards to kiss her. His body rubbed against her, one arm grabbing her from behind, fondling her breasts.

“Let’s cum again for me.” Adam whispered. He thrust harder and faster, and Peipei clutched the arms of the couch tightly, her body once again losing control to the her carnal pleasures. Arching upwards and backwards, she screamed in pleasure, as her love juices squirted in buckets, this time drenching the couch with a large dark patch.

Peipei was exhausted and wanted to rest, but Adam continued pounding into her, his cock seemingly reaching deeper and deeper into her, finding new spots of pleasure that was unknown to her. Adam pulled her up from the couch and pressed her against the glass windows. Peipei could see Orchard Road lit by the street lamps and the occasional vehicle. It was already well past midnight and there were few people on the streets. Peipei wondered if any of the people on the streets looked up, will they see her being fucked against the windows.

As Adam was taller than Peipei, in standing position, his cock dug even deeper into her. She tried to stand on her toes, to give herself some respite from the deep fucking that she is getting but Adam was not having any of that. He closed the distance between themselves and the window, flattening Peipei’s breasts against the glass. The cold glass on her nipples send another wave of pleasure coursing through her and Peipei no longer had the strength to resist whatever Adam wants to do with her. Several thrusts later, Peipei released another round of love juices, spraying against the window and onto the carpet.

“Please, no more. I cannot take it any more, Adam.” Peipei whispered as Adam now pushed her onto the bed. With her legs lifted upwards and lying on her bed, Adam entered her again.

“You are so fucking sexy. So tight. So warm. I have to try so hard not to cum even though I have already cum thrice with Leena earlier. I want to fuck you all night long.” Adam replied.

“Please. I promise to fuck you anytime you want. Please stop for now. I cannot take your big cock any more.” Peipei whimpered, all her strength sapped out of her.

Adam smiled and bent down to give her a kiss. He closed his eyes and thrust even faster and deeper. Minutes later, he groaned in satisfaction, ejaculating into Peipei. He opened his eyes and gave Peipei another kiss. “You are my Valentine.”

Withdrawing his cock from Peipei, he walked over to the bathroom. “Hey Hazer, you done yet? I need to use the shower.”

Peipei heard the bathroom door open and then close. She looked around. Both Hazer and Adam are in the bathroom. She looked down at Adam’s cum flowing out of her vagina. Then she looked down at Leena. She was sleeping soundly, her breasts heaving upwards slowly with each breath.

Peipei bent forwards to suck on a nipple, squeezing the large breast gently. Yes, it was very sweet. She whispered to the sleeping Leena, “You are my Valentine.”

[fuck-customers]

https://www.tumblr.com/fuck-customers/740474153557164032/this-is-totally-a-dick-move-but-im-doing-it?source=share

I wanted to address a reply I saw on this post that I submitted. (I prefer to stay anonymous on the off-chance that someone could figure out who I am from my blog. The chance is EXTREMELY small, but if you read the original ask, you'll understand my concern)

Someone responded, saying that (I'm paraphrasing) by leaving negative reviews, I'm causing corporate to cut hours to my location even more and this is hurting me and I should instead leave fake positive reviews.

Ok I GET where you're coming from, I do, and I'm sure others have had that same thought. HOWEVER, as I said in my original post, I. WANT. THAT. STORE. TO BURN. I said in my original post that I've worked there several years (actually 4+ years more than any other employee at my particular location) and I've gotten shit on left and right. By the company, by management, and by customers and while I am looking for another job, it would make me SO happy to watch that shithole burn.

In the time I've worked there:

-My hours are always the first to be cut whenever "budget cuts" come around

-I regularly get scheduled closing shift when the other shifts CLEARLY have not done their tasks (as in I clocked in less than a minute ago and my manager can clearly see that the amount of work left could not physically be made in 1 minute) yet the manager is on my ass every few seconds to clean up after all of them and if my shift ends and I cannot finish, I get a talking to.

-I have been physically shoved by a manager and berated in front of coworkers and customers and that + the already stressful day I was having made me hide in the bathroom and cry. Then a few days later, another manager who wasn't even there that day heard about the incident (not the crying part-I hid) and made fun of me for a small mistake and said that I deserved the other manager yelling at me

-I spent my first year covering every single shift whenever asked and cross-trained myself so I could work in all departments and get more hours that way (🤡) only to be repaid by never getting promotions or raises (I did stop covering shifts after it was blatantly obvious that I would not get a raise/promotion/anything but taken advantage of)

-I worked the entire pandemic every day, almost to full-time, yet they refused to actually make me full-time, scheduling me just under (30-35 hours) so I was essentially working full-time hours without being able to get full-time benefits.

-An SM that worked there for a year apparently was threatened by me (though in no way was I after her job, I even repeatedly expressed that I had no interest in becoming management) and proceeded to fabricate an entire false story and reported it to HR as an EEOC issue in an attempt to get me fired

-Plus the multiple leads that have come and go that either treat all employees like dogshit and/or me, specifically. Talking down to me/us and snapping at me/us.

-Not to mention the disrespectful customers who see that I appear young and automatically assume I am stupid and/or incompetent, the most memorable experience being the old man who straight up asked me if I had brain damage and the (separate) old woman who straight up asked me if I was stupid and then immediately flat-out called me stupid to my face 10 seconds later.

PLUS: the store has been extremely noticeably not managed. We don't get enough hours to actually clean the store up and when I personally tried to start some cleanup projects on my own, I was actively discouraged and scolded by management. The place is a mess and actual customers have complained to me personally and other employees that I've witnessed about how shitty the store looks and how shitty the shopping experience is, so odds are, real customers are making the same reviews. I'm just filling in for those who lost their receipts.

ALSO: In the years I've worked there, I have seen several positive reviews from real customers, in fact the store used to have almost exclusively positive reviews, yet I never once saw any rewards from that. I even had customers personally go up to my manager and tell him how helpful and nice I was, blah, blah, blah and he came back and told me what the customers said and never once rewarded me and instead cut my hours when budget cuts came around.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[softxsuki]

Hi!! May I please participate in your Valentine’s day event?

Character: Vyn (Tears of Themis)

Reader: female

Petname: love

Relationship status: established relationship

Tone: adoration letter

Genre: fluff

Location: he sent it to my workplace along with a huuuge gorgeous bouquet of flowers he grew himself

Other: I love you and your blog so much, thank you for everything you do

Vyn's Love Letter to His Girlfriend

This event is now CLOSED, but you can view the masterlist for the other letters here.

| Pairing: Vyn x Fem!Reader| Genre: Fluff | Post-Type: Letter | Word Count: 350 |

Warnings: none

Note: Hi! Love you too! Happy Valentine's Day, I hope you enjoy your letter from Vyn! <3

Your usually busy and noisy workplace falls silent as the delivery man places a huge bouquet with your name on it, on your desk. You feel a million eyes on you and a few women squeal, saying how lucky you are as they groan about being single or having a boyfriend that would never go out of their way to do that for them.

You smile to yourself; this man was always spoiling you like this. He made it his job to make you feel loved, and Valentine’s Day was no exception, it just gave him an excuse to spoil you even more. 

You bite your lip to conceal your smile as your coworkers return to their duties and you begin to read the letter;

Good afternoon my love, 

Happy Valentine’s Day. Another year I am lucky to have a woman like you by my side to love and call my own. I have been growing these for the past few months for you, I am sure you recognize them from all those days we spent in the garden together.

Scientists say flowers grow better the more positive words you say to them, so these flowers are full of my love for you, and look how beautifully they have grown. I guess science backs up our relationship as well. 

I am sure you know this already, but I love you. It is hard to fathom that I have been lucky enough to meet you and have you all to myself. I cannot wait to see you later. You have the spare key to my place, so please meet me there after your shift ends.

I love you, see you later my love.

Yours,

Vyn.xx

Your busy doctor always made time for you. You tuck the letter into your bag, a wave of excitement rolling through you at seeing him later. You couldn’t wait to see what else he had planned for the evening.

But for now you’d have to focus on your work so you could leave on time to be with him. Valentine’s Day was always perfect with him.

Posted: 2/14/2024

[formula-juanmanuel]

Chapter 1

pairing: female!driver oc x mick schumacher

word count: 2.7k words

warnings: explicit language, drinking, motorsport accidents, mentions of sex, mature themes, mentions of mental illness and side effects of this, mentions of prescribed medication, mentions of death

Hey everyone, welcome to my new story. I have never written before but I am so excited to start. Please let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions I am so happy to take them on board. Hope you enjoy and love you all :)

If you would like to be added to my taglist, let me know in the comments :)

“We are finally getting to see the first female Formula 1 driver in just over 30 years hit the grid in 2026 and we couldn’t be more excited about it! The woman in question, Lori Hoffmann, 2025 F2 Champion and the newest driver for Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team. Welcome to the podcast, Lori!”

“Thank you for having me, TC! Wow, when you say it like that it all feels very real. Far out!”

“It is an incredible achievement and anyone who has been watching you rise through the junior categories knows that you are a force to be reckoned with. You set a record within F2, winning the championship with the biggest points margin we have ever seen, a feat that not even your 2026 grid mates, Charles Leclerc, George Russell, Nyck De Vries, Mick Schumacher, Oscar Piastri or Felipe Drugovich managed to achieve.”

“Yeah, this year in F2 was absolutely insane, from the very start I felt like I was absolutely on fire. I had the best team behind me as well and I cannot thank them enough for their support this year. I had a lot of criticism coming into this season that I had never really had in years before and I think it was because I was starting to look like a real championship threat. But I live for the pressure and I love to prove people wrong and that’s what I did. I was also lucky to have some amazing supporters and mentors this year and I couldn’t have done it without their love and hard work too”

“That leads me to a question I have been meaning to ask you. Daniel Ricciardo? What is the relationship between you both? We have seen him in your box a fair bit this year and from what I have heard, he is coaching you, is that correct?”

“Hahaha, I was waiting for this question. Yes, Daniel Ricciardo! Since the start of this year, Daniel has been my advisor and mentor, I guess you could say but he really just is the circus leader to my hectic racing weekends. He actually reached out to me at the end of 2024 after his World Driver’s Championship win and his retirement from Formula 1 and asked if he could be of assistance to my career. I was obviously shocked and honoured that he would even be interested in helping me. I mean, being an Australian racing driver, he was always someone I looked up to. I, of course, said yes right away and he has been helping me this year with an increase in press and media responsibilities, F1 team offers, improving my mindset and just really helping me to keep myself calm and focused during the season. That has obviously been an issue in the past for me and he has been a massive help.”

“I am glad that you mentioned that, I know you are very open about your struggles but it can be a hard topic to bridge. Do you mind explaining for the people listening who may not know the full story, why you have had to focus so heavily on staying mentally healthy this year?”

“Yeah of course! It is not something that I am ashamed of and I think it is incredibly important to talk about, especially in a sport that can be so focused on ‘manning up’. I took a break from my F3 career in 2020 following the death of my close friend Anthoine Hubert. I have always been incredibly tough but this accident rattled me and I made the decision to take 2020 off to focus on getting back into a space where I loved racing and wasn’t scared to be on track anymore. I was still around F3, F2 and F1, supporting my friends from the pits but I was traumatised having watched my friend lose their life doing what they loved. It was the worst moment of my life. I know a few people were quite critical of this decision but it was the safest for myself and my fellow grid mates and I came back and won F3 in 2021. I am doing better now, but I am still always conscious of my mental state.”

“That was a tragic accident and a reminder of the risk that all the drivers take each time they hop into the car. I am truly sorry for your loss. You mentioned your support for your friends during this year off and I think this is truly one of your best qualities as a racer. You are so fiercely competitive on track, earning yourself the nickname ‘Black Widow’, which I must say fits you so well. You are small and unassuming, unique and bright in appearance but you strike quickly and without mistake. However off track we have seen almost a complete 180 of that. You are known for your amazing friendships, pranks and protective instincts.”

“Yes hahaha! On track I am not to be messed with and like all racers it can be hard to not hold grudges away from the track but my friends mean the world to me. Growing up as an only child I always wished for a brother, I guess because all the boys at school played with and talked about cars so I wanted to have someone to talk about cars with at home who wasn’t my dad. Getting into karting and rising through the junior categories has really given me my biggest wish. I think for me my relationship with Clem, my Trident team mate of 3 years, is the closest thing I will ever have to getting a brother. He is only a year younger than me but I am incredibly protective of him and he is one of the reasons for my spot in F1, having him as a teammate meant I had constant reassurance and advice. He has been racing longer than I have, I only started karting when I was 15, so he always has tips and tricks for me. As a friend, travelling the world and racing with him means laughs, tears and memories I will never forget. I am so happy to be moving to F1 with him next year. I am also so lucky to call so many of my 2026 grid mates my closest friends. Lando, Alex, Felipe, Lance, Esteban, Charles and George have all been supporting me since my start in F3 in 2018. I am very lucky for sure.”

“Getting to have your teammate be one of your best friends must feel like a dream come true. Do you worry that being in a competitive team with George will place a strain on your relationship?”

“Not at all, I really do feel like we have the experience and maturity to separate the track from life and place it in its box. Don’t get me wrong, we are both so competitive, to the point of having run each other off the track during our yearly karting races a few times”

“Fantastic! It is good to see some healthy competition. Now Lori, before I dive into some quick this or that questions, I just wanted to ask about how you got into racing in the first place. I believe your father played a big role in this?”

“Yeah Dad was my biggest supporter in motorsport for sure. I grew up around cars with him working as the consignment manager for Dutton Garage, which is a car dealership in Melbourne which specialises in rare, luxury and classic cars and as such I spent a lot of time there when I was growing up. I am sure I have some pictures of me sitting in a Jaguar E-Type or a ‘69 Miura at the age of 5, biggest smile on my face. I used to sit in the foyer area and read books about all the cars which in turn got me reading about and watching Formula 1. From there Dad eventually, when he realised this wasn’t just another childhood phase, got me a kart and the rest is history. I was an apprentice mechanic from 16 as well, working in the garage there until I left to race in Europe in 2018 and that has helped me fall even more in love with cars and racing.”

“Very impressive! So you know your way around a car? What would be your favourite car of all time if you had to pick?”

“Absolutely I do! I have three project cars sitting in my warehouse back in Australia so I know a manifold from a cylinder head, for sure. Favourite car is an easy pick actually! A 1979 Chevrolet Corvette. It was the first car I ever drove, I was 13 and one of the regular customers at Dutton came in to collect it and when he saw me looking over it in awe, he let me drive it down the garage to the front for him. It was only about 20m in a straight line but I was terrified that I would break it. I was hooked though after that and this customer actually helped to sponsor me in F3. That is also the reason I am racing with number 79 next year too. Same year as that beautiful car which holds so many memories for me.”

“It is so nice to hear how passionate you are, not just about racing but about cars and the history and science behind them! Alright, are you ready for some quick fire questions?”

“Absolutely! Fire away”

“Alright! Weights or cardio?”

“Without fail it would have to be weights, although I do love a good run”

“Understeer or oversteer?”

“Oversteer, you know what Jeremy Clarkson said, at least you won’t have to see the object you are crashing into with oversteer! Hahaha”

“Hahaha, oh gosh! Wet race or dry race?”

“Wet race, growing up in rainy Melbourne, I got a lot of experience”

“Night race or day race?”

“Day race actually”

“Be a scientist or an artist?”

“Scientist, I love science”

“Ok, last question, Senna or Schumacher?”

“Oh god, ok ummmm, how do you even pick? They are both incredible drivers. I am half German so I was raised on Schumacher and Vettel. So, Schumacher, lock it in”

“Fantastic Lori! Well it was an absolute pleasure chatting to you today and I cannot wait to see the rookie year you have in 2026. All the best and we will talk soon”

“Thank you so much! I will see you around I am sure”

Stepping into my new home in Brackley, I set my keys down onto the kitchen counter and dropped my duffel bag to the floor. A huge smile crossing my face as I walked into the living room and looked out the bay window framing the flower filled garden beyond. I knew I wasn’t going to be here much, the farmhouse only being my home during factory trips and simulator tests, but none the less, I was already in love. It was every bit as cosy and warm as I could have hoped, a sheer contrast to the sterility and coldness of the hotels I would be staying in across the 2026 season. 

As I sat down on the bay window seat I allowed myself to finally take in the last few weeks, a breathy laugh leaving me as a few tears of happiness slipped down my face.

“Lori, I know I am meant to be professional and talk about this contract with you… but holy fuck!” was all I heard down the line as I answered my phone much to the annoyance of my trainer, Evan.

“Avery slow down! What is happening? I am mid training session and you have already lost me” I mumbled through the phone to my manager and best friend of 4 years.

Avery and I had met at the end of 2021 after my F3 championship, both of us on holiday in Athens. I recognised the Australian accent while exploring the Acropolis and realised she was by herself on this trip, as was I. I went over and introduced myself and the rest was history. Her degree in communications and her understanding of my wants and needs from years of friendship made her the perfect manager for me as I came into my 2024 F2 season.

“I just got off the phone with a team about 2026!” she said loudly, although this time it was thankfully not a scream.

“Avi, I don’t understand, we have had heaps of team offers.” It was true, not to sound too cocky but I had already been contacted by Williams, Alfa Romeo and McLaren. None of Avery’s phone calls to me about the offers had been like this though.

“You absolute dumbass! Take the hint! This was THE CALL” she said dramatically and within half a second, it clicked. I put my hand back to check the workout bench was still behind me and lowered myself slowly to sit down in shock.

“No… please don’t joke with me. I know I have pranked you so many times this year and I am sorry for that but this is so cruel” She had to be joking.

“God, I would never do that to you Lori. But you need to pack as you are needed in Brackley in 3 days.” I could tell she was smirking, knowing that mentioning that little town in the United Kingdom would confirm what I was trying so hard not to believe.

“Holy fucking shit” was all I could get out as my hand smacked over my mouth. Evan had been trying not to eavesdrop but at my words his head whipped around from where he was stretching on the floor, trying to decide if I had just gotten good or bad news.

“Mercedes, they want me?” Evan’s eyes were wide in shock now, huge grin from ear to ear.

“Hell yes they do. I am booking us tickets now and will send you all the information after this call but I will see you tonight for dinner anyway and we can go over it all then”

“Ok amazing, wow! Ok sounds good, let me know. I will get back to my training, guess I may need it even more now”

“Yes, good girl and say hi to Evan for me” she said giggling like a school girl down the line for me. I rolled my eyes.

“Hey Evan! Avery says hi” I yelled out to him while still on the line. I could see him blush and say a small hi. These two had been after each other for months with no confidence to commit.

“OMG! NO! SHUT UP! FAR OUT! OK BYE LOSER” and with that she hung up.

“Guess we better get you training to deal with all that porpoising” was all Evan said as he came over and gave me a massive hug and slap on the back.

“Oh fuck off you!” I was smiling so much it hurt though.

All of that had lead me to a few hours before, sitting in the Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula 1 headquarters across from Toto Wolff, putting my signature on a billion pieces of paper, joking away with my new team principal.

I had put my phone on silent, Mercedes had made a few posts for the official announcement and now my phone could barely keep up with the tweets, instagram messages and tags and texts from family and friends who didn’t already know.

My head was swirling but all I knew was that I had 4 weeks until I was in Bahrain for testing and a million things to organise before then. While I hadn’t let it cross my mind until now, it was also 4 weeks until I had to deal with a massive pain in my ass again and I was not looking forward to being forced to be civil with him. I knew for a fact that he would be out to make my rookie season a living hell. Too bad for him he would be doing that from a Williams.

[hereforthefanficsandromance]

The Way He Looks at You Series I:XXIV

Act I: The Way He Looks at You Chapter 24 : The Way He Restarts for You (Act I Finale)

Read on AO3 Read on Blogger Read on Tumblr Story Master List: The Way He Looks at You Series

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Chapter Summary

Cal makes preparations for the new additions to your life. Rating: 18+ Words: 2.1K

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

I’m entering Kaahlii’s bookshop, the sound of the door chime giving away my return. The little sound also notifies my brain that I may breathe easier while I am here. I could not have known how stressful the journey here would be.

My recent mission to locate Fifth brought me back to this sector. Much to my dismay, they did not find his body in the rubble. I sincerely doubt the Rebellion maintained enough power to kidnap an Inquisitor when they fled. More disturbing, the Jedi’s body and lightsaber were not located; the Rebels are likely the cause.

Knowing the biggest threat to my happiness still walks free fills me with unease. At least I know she is safe in the medical wing, protected at the heart of the Empire. My heart, hidden at the heart, how poetic.

I’ve grown soft since she entered my life; allowed myself to give others grace when I would have previously struck them down. I should have struck down the Jedi, but my little light always blinds my vision. Time apart from her pains me, but I can act without remorse. Once I take care of my light and our future sparks, I intend to eliminate the man who threatens to steal them from me.

Passing through the doorway, the black satchel catches on the door handle, and I am tugged backwards. I wrestle the bag free and enter the cozy store as Kaahlii comes around a rather dusty bookshelf. The placard reads, “Ancient Civilizations” and I am almost drawn to the “Z” section.

“Inquisitor.” Kaahlii greets. “I haven’t heard from you since you left the hospital. Is there an update?”

I frown and shake my head. “Arrangements are being made for when she wakes.”

“Is there an estimate for when she will wake?” Kaahlii quirks an eyebrow.

I don’t miss the look of doubt, but I cannot, will not, lose hope in getting my light back.

“There is not, but she will wake Kaahlii.” I shoot the small woman a sharp look.

She waves her hand and purses her lips before speaking. “What can I assist you with Inqui-”

“Cal.” I correct, softening my expression.

Kaahlii blinks at me a few times. “What can I assist you with, Cal?”

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, but I try to maintain a level of professionalism. Instead of answering, I hand her the satchel and wait as she pokes through its contents. She hums her slow exhale before looking back up into my eyes.

“This will take all day. Today is story time.” Kaahlii explains.

“I’ll cover it.” I state. “It was actually…enjoyable last time.”

It’s Kaahlii’s turn to resist a smile, which she disguises with a curt nod. As she walks away towards her workroom, I strip off my Inquisitor armor and stash it under the front desk. I even unclip my utility belt. Attached to my lightsaber, and put it with the rest of my belongings.

The brown smock warms up my otherwise cold monotone clothes and I lift the top book off the leftmost stack. The search for its home takes a while, but soon I have figured out more of the organization system and move with ease.

I’ve almost completed the largest stack when the first story time customer arrives. I’m pleased to see it is the little girl with an affinity for droids and her kind mother. Without hesitation, I approach the pair and beep a greeting at the daughter before reaching to shake the mother’s hand.

The daughter squeals in delight as her mother dodges my hand to pull me into a friendly embrace. I stiffen at the gesture and the woman is gracious enough to hang on until I can relax and squeezing her back. She pulls away from the hug and beams up at me while reaching to grasp her daughter’s hand once more.

“Catalia and I are so happy to see you here again! She has been asking nonstop when the ‘Droid Man’ was coming back.”

I chuckle at both the words and the little girls excitedly jumping at the end of her mother’s arm.

“I’m afraid we didn’t catch your name last time. I’m Rosara.” She introduces herself and sticks out her hand.

I stare at the outstretches hand and wonder if I am to shake it or pull her into a hug.

“I’m Cal. Kaahlii allows me to help here when I am able.” I explain as I shake her hand.

“Cal, it is always a pleasure to see you!” She releases her daughter’s hand to grasp mine in both before releasing.

Her words disarm me; I haven’t been a pleasure to be seen in many years. I give an awkward nod to acknowledge the compliment.

“You’re new to working with kids, aren’t you?” She tilts her head.

I laugh once. “That obvious, huh?”

She laughs with me and Catalia screams, then giggles. “You’ll get better, I’m sure.”

“I hope so.” I reach up and rub the back of my neck. “We’ve got two on the way.”

“Two!” Rosara exclaims. “You are going to have your hands full!”

“I don’t know what to expect. This is quite new.” I admit, feeling more unsure than ever.

Rosara notices my discomfort and reaches out to squeeze my hand once. “Let’s talk after story time. I can tell you everything I’ve learned from this one.”

“I would really appreciate it. Preparation is key.” I watch as Catalia pulls her mother towards the reading area.

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

You hear a steady and irritating beeping nearby that aggravates the ache in your head. Opening your eyes makes it worse, but you lift your hands to rub the sleep from your eyes. You feel wires follow your movements and fain more insight on your surroundings.

With clear vision, you glance around the sterile room until your eyes slide across a green-skinned man sitting opposite you. Your pulse quickens and you can feel the blood pound in your ears; increasing the pain.

“Finally awake? You’ve kept us all waiting.” Fifth Brother sneers.

You sit there silent and wide-eyed, waiting for the Inquisitor to speak again.

“Pregnant with the Jedi’s child? Belonging to Thirteenth? Quite the predicament.” He mocks. “And all those secrets about the Rebellion in your head.”

You wince, but try to maintain eye contact with the cruel man. He smirks in response and looks over your body, that is thankfully covered by a blanket and gown.

“I was interested in you before, but now you are actually interesting.” He studies you.

Your lips part, unable to find words. Pieces are missing, and you can’t quite remember the event that brought you here. Being alone with this man is terrifying and you long for the safety of before.

If only the man you love were here to protect you. Though maybe it’s for the best that he’s not here. There is no telling what the Fifth Brother has planned for you. How he might use your loves one against you to get the information he seeks.

You’d prefer to go down alone that to watch others suffer on your behalf. There can’t be more sacrifice to protect you; not again. Fifth doesn’t seem to mind your silence; instead amused by the fear so clearly etched on your features.

“Worry not, Pet. I won’t take your secrets just yet. I’m sure you will give them freely when the time is right.” He threatens. “I’m a patient man, and I’d rather not be on Thirteenth’s bad side.”

Your eyebrows painfully furrow at his confusing statement. He rises to his feet and strides out of the room, closing the door with the faintest click. You sit there paralyzed, listening for his fading footsteps.

Once you feel sure he has left, you tear the wires from your body and leap to your feet. There is a folded stack of black clothing on the bedside table. The dress is a logistical nightmare to hurry into, but you manage. Clasping the woolen cloak around your neck provides a familiar sense of security.

You swing open the door and make your escape, grateful your books are near silent. You break into a run, desperate to get back to safety, to your home with him.

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

I’m glad to be back at the hospital. The time away was too long. Story time went well, better than last time. Being much less guarded, I found it easy to narrate the stories for the children. I made silly faces, pointed to the pictures, and gave each character a unique voice. I’ve gotten the hand of entertaining children; a now necessary skill.

Rosara and Catalia stayed late while I worked at the bookshop. Rosara gave me a surplus of knowledge on how to care for little ones while Catalia undid all my work. I learned vital information from one and patience from the other.

It scares me to know how little I knew about children; I would have accidentally given the infants water. Besides the life saving advice, she also provided a handwritten list of necessary supplies. All items now crossed off and purchased.

I also bought my light new clothes during the spree. She deserves more than one article of clothing. While in the boutique, something drew me to a dainty necklace with a large stone in the middle. That necklace now sits in a small box in my pocket.

The gold chain has once broken and repaired with an identical link containing a tracker. Kaahlii and I agreed taking a risk with three lives isn’t an option. Even if my light isn’t yet awake, I will still adorn her neck. She deserves to wake to something beautiful.

There’s a pang in my heart knowing she may never wake, may never wear the new clothes, never know our children. I push the distressing thoughts away and trust in the Force to bring her back to me. The Force gave me my light for a reason. It will return her to me, I am sure.

I am pulled from my thoughts when I hear the faint padding of footsteps moving hastily in my directions as I round a corner.

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

I look down at my light, confused by her thoughts. There is a sense of déjà vu and I can feel panic creep in at the worst-case scenario.

“Easy on the eyes?” I say, tilting my head.

Her eyes widen in horror, and I feel a pang of guilt for causing more distress after all she has been through.

“You said that the first time we…” I trail off and probe her mind.

I find nothing but my worst fears inside. I’m not in there. There’s no memory of our time together. She has forgotten. I feel my heart split and I tighten my grip. I’m not about to lose her again.

There is no option but to start over, so I darken my eyes to her favorite expression and lower my voice. “You aren’t going anywhere. I’ll be keeping you.”

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Need to Rant with Others Who Have Read This Story?

Join My Discord It's free! Members get updates, sneak peaks, bonus content, events, and countdowns to new chapters. We'd love to have you, even if you just lurk!

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Love/Like/Hate What You Read?

Comment (please!) on AO3 or Blogger Anonymous/Comment/Message/Reblog on Tumblr Compliments feed me Constructive Criticism improves me

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Next Chapter: Act II: The Way You Look at Him

[doberbutts]

Whenever people talk about medical transition making their dysphoria worse it really solidifies my theory that euphoria and dysphoria are two sides of the same coin, and one often feeds the other.

When I started T 8.5 months ago, I had really very little dysphoria in my life, because I had it set up in a way that allowed me to live the way I wanted. Yes, I would go 😮‍💨 at my own reflection in the mirror, or when forced to acknowledge boobs and genitals, but otherwise the bulk of my dysphoria came from my monthly cycle and the everyday life of toeing the line between masc woman and fem man. The rest of my life was so supportive that I didn't see a big hurry for the surgeries I was kind of kicking around the idea of, as long as it'd happen eventually.

This is also one of the reasons why I think transphobes freaking out about experimenting with gender are being alarmist. A cis woman and a cis man could have lived the exact same life I lived. The only difference would be the dating partners- I date exclusively men who love men, often times specifically gay men but not always. "Changing back" at that point would have been a pronoun change. That's it. And I lived that life from 18 til 30.

But then, starting testosterone, my dysphoria *did* become worse. Just not in the ways transphobes fearmonger about.

As I became happier with my body and the changes HRT gave me, I became less happy with the parts of me only surgery could change. What was a quiet resignation to bind potentially forever has become dramatic impatience for top surgery. What was an overall negative view of bottom surgery has become a fierce desire for a penis. What was an acceptance that my facial and body hair would do whatever it wanted has become an annoyance that my face and chest have been taking their sweet time.

In other words, as my body changed into something I no longer frown at myself in the mirror about, the parts of it that continue to lag behind have begun to frustrate me.

It's a very temporary problem. I have my top consult in October, then I'll get a hysto, and then I'll consider my options seriously for bottom. I know that, even when I am feeling a little bit impatient about all this.

But it does make me think, as I experience the euphoria of my hard-won changes from HRT, that euphoria feeds the dysphoria regarding what HRT cannot change.

[targaryen-realness]

Witching chapter 4

Title: Witchling

Pairing: Osferth x Druidess!Reader

Warnings: Canon depiction of violence, mention of slavery, wounds and scars, magic, historical innacuracy (sorry medieval Scotland is not my specialty), talk about faith and christianity. The reader is fem but there is no physical description except for the fact she is a scot from the Highlands. Spoilers for season 3 of the Last Kingdom. 

for this chapter: suicidal thoughts, strong use of magic, not very christian friendly (sorry), slight nsfw 

Summary: As they are riding away from Winchester, Osferth and Lord Uhtred’s group come across a mysterious woman. She needs help but the power within her is obvious. Captivated, Osferth hopes she will stay, but as Uhtred asks her to travel with them, he cannot help but wonder what is going on in his lord’s head.

Notes: Thank you for the love on the previous chapters! Sorry for the delay on this one but I’ve been writing the Aemond fic too haha Hope you will like it!

Tags: @lugiastark @afro-hispwriter @aphroditesmoon @carlottalhn @dothrckis @mynameisbaby9

“We are leaving for Coccham”

You were already preparing your horse when Osferth told you you were all leaving soon. You knew Uthred would not want to stay any longer in Winchester, only wanting to return to his home. You were happy to leave, the charm of Winchester having worn off very fast after your night here. 

“I know. Do you need help to pack things for the children?”

You had returned late into the night, and had gone to sleep almost immediately. You were drained from your energy and you slept without a dream. You had woken up with a very curious Stiorra watching you, waiting for you to say something. 

He had not said a thing about yesterday, and had not asked you any question. You could see the sadness on his face and you felt helpless. 

“Were you close? With lady Gisela?”

“Were you close? With lady Gisela?”

He seemed surprised but nodded, handing you a bag at the same time. 

“When I left the monastery, I did not know where to go. She was always good to me, she cared for me and allowed me to stay in her home. I liked her a lot” 

He was such a good soul, you thought. Then you realised he probably never had a mother and it suddenly made sense. She was the first woman to ever open her arms to him in a motherly way. Your heart broke for him as you remembered the feeling of your mom’s arms around you, the gentle way she would caress your head, kiss your cheeks. 

“She sounds like a great person. 

-She truly was. People were not kind to her here, because she was not a christian, but at heart she was kinder than most christians I’ve met.”

The words resonated in the room and you looked at him shocked. 

“You do not mind? Your friends being heathens? 

-Absolutely not. As long as they are good people, and they are, I do not care for their faith.”

He licked his lips finally looking at you. 

“I thought that if you did not like me, it was because of this. Of the fact I am a druidess.”

He seemed taken aback by your statement, his mouth closing and opening but no words seemed to come out. 

“I do not hate you Y/n”

You released the breath you did not know you were holding. 

“I never said you hated me, I said dislike.

-Well I do not dislike you. Quite the opposite”

It was your turn to look like a fish out of the water. He chuckled when he saw your expression but did not say a thing. 

“Thank you” you blurted out without thinking. 

“For what? 

-Since I’ve been with you all, I feel like I can be myself again. After what happened, I thought I would stay sad all my life, that I would never move on. I don’t think that anymore. So thank you, for not letting me die on the side of the road, and for caring for me. I care for you too”

You had said way more than you wanted to, but it felt good, for it to finally come out. He smiled at you and you felt your cheeks getting warm. He was so pretty. More than any man should be allowed to be. His smile lit up his face and it did not help you could see the slight blush on his cheeks. 

“We should keep packing. Lord Uhtred will be back soon”

And you did, in silence mostly, trying not to act too awkwardly. You could not help the smile that was stretching your lips. It was Finan that disrupted that blissful moment with his loud voice:

“We have a problem, everyone in the house now”. 

“You killed him? How did you even do that?”

You were speechless as you were walking back and forth in the living room under the gaze of Osferth and Uhtred. 

“I told you what he said. 

-I do not blame you for hitting him. I do not blame you at all actually. It’s just, you are a very unlucky man”

He looked at you, a look of desperation mixed with anger that made you lift your hands in sign of surrender.

“I made this for you today. Maybe it will help a little. It won’t fix your predicament but it’s supposed to protect you.”

You approached him and put the necklace around his neck. It was similar to your own, but it was a different Ogham that ornate the front of the wood pendant. You kept the piece of wood in your hand for a second before saying a word under your breath. You let it fall back on his chest and he looked at it uncertainly. 

“Have a little faith, Uhtred of Bebbanburg, you are starting to make me question myself. 

-I would not dare” he answered, taking Stiorra in his arms. You pinched her cheek playfully as she smiled at you. 

“Maybe I should make you one too, would you like that?”

She nodded sweetly and you smiled back. Uhtred’s children were courageous, for sure. The chaos in their life did not seem to phase them as much as you would have thought. For that, you only had admiration for them. 

“Sister Hild!”,Uhtred, the oldest son of Uhtred, shouted. 

You turned around to see the abbess enter the house. She simply chuckled and led the boy toward his bed. 

“Lord, there can be no bloodshed. They are throwing insults out there, but they will soon tire of that.”

She smiled at Stiorra and called for her, the little girl hopping off of her father’s lap toward the abbess. 

“There will not be bloodshed” he answered and you looked at Osferth, worried for the lord. 

The sadness and tiredness in his voice was obvious. In a matter of days he had endured more than a lot of men could have put up with. 

“You should say that to Steapa. His head is hurting from thinking.”, Abbess Hild said. She looked as lost as the rest of you. 

“Is there a solution? 

-I did nothing wrong. 

-Uhtred”, she sounded exasperated. 

“You killed a monk. A holy man, and not for the first time”

You wanted to ask if that horrible man being a monk was really that important. He was still a horrible man, cruel and vile. He had said things about Gisela, and you apparently that were so degrading, Uhtred had not even repeated them to you when he came back. It was still funny to see how christians were able to categorise the importance of life. Being a holy man could be a cover for being the most atrocious monster that earth has ever borne. The reality was that now everyone in Winchester knew you were no christian, and that everyone had lied for you. You were not safe here. 

“The real question is why in god's name, is she still here? And her too? Two witches inside your house, really. 

-I am not your concern, witch”, answered Skade, and you almost laughed. 

“I did not intend to kill the monk, nor do I regret it. 

-It was fate”, finished Skade. You doubted it was fate. Everything happened for a reason, that was what you had been told since you were a child, but it did not mean you could not question it. 

“Fetch Beocca. Ask him to bring the demands of the King.

-I will tell Beocca that you are ready to talk and to listen. Be sure that you do.” 

She turned her head toward Skade and said: “It would help if you cut her throat”

Abbess Hild did not look at you, but you still felt the pressure of the blade on your throat. 

“He cannot.” she marked a pause, her next words resonating in a sinister manner, “He dare not”. 

The silence was heavy once sister Hild was out. You could feel the eyes of Skade, not looking away from Uhtred. She was plunging her claws deeper in his flesh each passing days. You were scared you were not acting fast enough. 

“Tonight Lord… You will break your oath to Alfred. You will have-

-Quiet. I have enough of your voice”

The words came out of your mouth before you could stop them. 

“It is a new beginning. 

-We do not care about what you have to say. 

-You do not? I am sure the lord will be happy to know you knew about his wife’s death but did not say anything”

The silence that followed her statement almost crushed you. You did not let your eyes leave her face, you did not dare to look at Uhtred or worse, Osferth. 

“I did not know she was gonna die. 

-You did. You told the other dane on our way to Winchester.” she smiled at you. 

“There is a difference between smelling death and knowing something will happen” you turned toward Uhtred who was looking at you, lost. 

“I did not know exactly. I could not have told you even if I wanted to. And when I understood, it did not matter anymore”

He did not say anything, but Skade had succeeded. Osferth had turned around on his chair, avoiding you, and Uhtred was doing everything in his power to avoid your mere presence. You found yourself in another room, Stiorra sleeping near you as you were munching on a piece of meat. You heard father Beocca enter the house but did not care to listen. The only thing you could tell was that as the voice increased in volume, the tears rolling down your cheeks also did. The little girl looked at you, probably awakened by the screams.

“Why are you crying?” she asked, her sweet voice making you smile and whip your cheeks. 

“Sorry, I’m just a bit sad. That happens sometimes.

-I’m sad too. Everyone is sad lately. 

-I know. I am sorry about your mom.”

You were expecting cries but no, she looked at you and in her eyes you saw the deep sadness she was hiding so well. 

“I didn’t want her to die. It’s unfair”

You sat on her bed, not knowing if it was appropriate for you to do. You took the little girl in your arms, doing your best to comfort her. She hugged you back, and the little sobs that you could hear from her almost broke your heart. 

“I know. But your mom would be very proud of you. You are being very brave”

You caressed her hair gently, soothing her the best you could. You did not know how much time had passed while you hugged the little girl but you finally heard the door open and turned around to see Finan. 

“We need to go”

His eyes lingered on you and the little girl before he closed the door. You put Stiorra back to bed, caressed her hair one last time and closed the door gently. Sihtric, Finan and Osferth were looking at you, Uhtred was gone. 

“Uhtred is gone, he will come back with a new agreement or we will have to flee. 

-Are we going to leave the children there ? 

-They are not at risk. We are, especially you, now that everyone knows you are no christian.”

Finan had said this in a tone he has never used to address you before. It was harcher and colder. You gulped, trying to find the comforting eyes of Osferth or Sihtric. 

“You think I have something to do with Gisela’s death? That I saw it? Could have prevented it maybe?”

They did not answer. 

“There is nothing I could have done to save her because I was on the other side of the kingdom. I knew she was dead, that’s all I saw. I did not ask for this. 

-All you have to do is break this curse! Then you will be free to go wherever you want!

-How can I do that inside a christian fortress! All I’m asking is a couple of hours in a forest! Then I’ll get the answers you want and will disappear from your life forever. You will not need to worry about me anymore.”

Your words seemed to take Finan and Osferth by surprise as Sihtric stayed impassive. You turned around and left, seeking your bag with the little belongings that you had left. You returned to the main room and heard a commotion outside. Uhtred stumbled inside and you saw the blood dripping down of him. 

“We need to leave right now.

-You’re hurt”

He took your wrist and dragged you outside. 

“Wait Uhtred!” 

You were pushed against your horse and without a word you mounted it. You could not think about anything, the only thing you remembered from this moment was the loud noise of the horses hooves and the screams of the men that were hunting you down. You had no idea how many hours you raced through Wessex like this. You had no idea where you were supposed to go. You were lost, amongst men that you once thought could be your friends, but that now seemed to be so far away from you. You were riding at the back, between two men you did not know the name of. You were lost in thought, sadness and loneliness were plagging you. You had almost forgotten the feeling. Now, on top of this you were scared for your life. You were not afraid that Uhtred would kill you, you know he would not. He was leading you to your certain death though. You were making your way to the danes. To Gorn probably. You knew that the moment he saw you he would kill you. You were contemplating slitting your own throat before he could get to you. You prayed for the entire ride. Lugh, the god you worshipped and to whom you had dedicated your life, stayed silent. So far away from your sacred land, could he even hear you? You had felt him there in Wessex, during Gisela’s funeral. You knew it. You thought of the pendant around the lord’s neck. Maybe you should not have given such an artefact to a man you barely knew. Maybe putting your life on the line for men who were using you wasn’t the best idea. For a moment you contemplated running away. Where would you go? With what silver? In what direction? The reality was that you were the safest here. It was a terrifying thought. And what about your promise? You were not the kind to break your engagements. You were a woman of your words, you had been raised with honour, and you will not break it. Even if it meant you were going to die. You were distracted by the conversation between Skade and Uhtred, and the piercing voice of the witch. 

“Then you will remain cursed!”

No one said anything but you saw Uhtred tense. The Lord was going to die if it kept going. Your bad feeling kept getting worse as you saw his state deteriorating with the hours that passed. You were seated around a fire, not with Uhtred and the others but with Skade. They were talking, and with the weak light of the fire you were able to see Uhtred’s ashy face. 

“Did they already get bored of you?”

You ignored her. Getting closer from the fire, seeking its warmth. 

“You are powerful, I will give you that.” you told her finally.

“My gods are not to mess with.”

In your head you were chanting the name of Eochu Ollathir, god of the sciences and protector of the druids and druidesses, and his daughter Brigid, guardian of the purifier fire. The fire became increasingly warmer, almost too much, and when you plunged your hand into it, owning a gasp from the men that were seated nearby, you did not feel the heat, or even the pain that you should have felt. Everyone was silent, even Uhtred and his circle, when you said: 

“Mine are not either”. 

You stood up and left for the forest that was all around you. You needed to be alone with your thoughts. You walked in the same direction far enough that you could still see the weak light of the fires, but enough so that they could not see you. Your goal was not to get lost. You sat on a rock and contemplated your surroundings. The cold wind was caressing your face, as you lifted your head you admired the night sky. The stars were shining like you had rarely seen them. For a second you felt yourself transported back to the Highlands, to the mountains of your childhood, to the orange and yellow forests that you loved so dearly. To the lake that reflected that very same sky you were looking at. You felt the tears slide down your cheeks but you could not stop staring. You smiled at the fond memories as the feeling of homesickness settled in. 

“Are you okay Y/n?”

It was the sweet voice of Osferth that got you out of your reverie. You turned around, whipping out your tears as fast as you could. 

“Are you crying?”

He seemed so sad for you. You could hear it in his tone, see it on his face, in the way he walked toward you to sit on the same rock as you. 

“You should not have come here ? What will the others think ?”

Your voice was trembling and you did not dare to look him in the eyes. 

“They won’t think anything. I think you scared them all to death.”

You laughed at that, trying to make it sound as sincere as possible. 

“Did I scare you too?”

You turned around and smiled at him, and you saw in his eyes he did not believe that fake smile for a second. His hands were fidgeting on his lap the last time you had looked at them, so you could not have helped the little move of surprise that you had when one of his knuckles gently caressed your cheek. You realised you were still crying. The feeling of his skin against yours was something you could not describe, but you were hypnotised. You did not realise you were so close to him, the heat of his body burning you more than the fire you had put your hand into a few moments ago. His eyes, blue like the most beautiful spring sky, were reflecting the same intensity as yours. 

“I am not scared of you Y/n. I think you are a gift from god. This is the only explanation. An angel.”

He almost whispered it. You were coming closer, eyes still not leaving his, but you were now feeling his hot breath against your cold skin. 

“If the church says otherwise, I will tell them they are wrong. If you are a demon, then maybe I am not worshipping the right god”

The weight of his words was heavy on your shoulder except the guilt of deflecting an honest man from his faith would be a thing you will have to deal with later. Because right now you wanted to kiss him. You wanted to kiss this man until he was tired of you because you were not sure you would be able to one day be tired of him. So you did. You pressed your lips against his. He did not push you away but he froze against your body. 

“I’m sorry I-

-No! Please”

It had come out in a pleading tone, and the red on his cheeks was a good indicator of his desperation. So you kissed him again, and again. His lips were surprisingly soft, and you loved every second of those kisses. You felt yourself get more heated, that familiar pressure in the pit of your stomach slowly settling in. 

“Y/n” he whimpered against your lips. 

You loved it when he said your name. When he said it, screamed it, whispered it, and even more when he was saying it as if you were some sort of deity he was devoting himself to. 

“We should go back” you said. If you kept going, you knew it would be more and more difficult to back down. 

“Give me a minute.” he said averting your gaze. “Just to catch my breath”

You raised an eyebrow in question, but you understood. 

“Oh”

You chuckled and he looked at you offended. You caressed his right cheek gently, trying to contain your laughter. 

“Do you want me to stay or do you need some alone time?”

He looked exasperated, but you could see the hint of a smile on his lips. 

“Go away from me temptress.”

You laughed again before kissing him one last time. He looked dumbfounded and you were delighted by his expression. 

“You are not helping me. 

-Maybe I don’t want to”

You walked away, your heart feeling lighter than it had when you made the same path before. When you stepped back into the camp, all eyes were on you, especially Finan’s. 

“Where is Osferth?

-He is coming back soon, don't worry.”

He looked at you suspiciously. 

“I did not kill him and bury his corpse in the forest Finan, you can sleep soundly.”

Sihtric laughed at that and you could see the corner of Finan’s mouth lifting.

“I’m sorry. To be honest I don’t really know why I am even apologising. But if you had the impression I broke your trust, I didn't mean to.” 

They looked at you surprised. 

“If I had the ability to help Gisela, I would have done so. But I couldn’t.”

You did not wait for an answer and left them to think. You did not see Uthred on your way to the fire where you were sitting previously. Skade was not there either and for some reason, it made the absence of the lord even more worrisome. 

[miyagifangkai]

Robby x Plus Size!Reader HCs

Request: I never see any plus sized reader stuff for Robby, coming from a plus sized girl kinda makes me feel left out in ways. So I was wondering if you could like write some hcs for plus sized reader x Robby that would mean the world to me!!!

Tagged: Anonymous

Warnings: None! Maybe a cuss word?, some insecurity, and that’s about it!

!!!This is not completely proofread!!!

!!!Only my second time doing HCs so please be kind!!!

A/N: Yay!! We love some plus size reader!! And we love some Robby Keene! 🥰 thanks for requesting! I hope you like it!

When you and Robby first met it was at the arcade with your friends from school

Man was he one of the best looking guys you’d laid your eyes on

At first you ignored his glances thinking that a guy like him wouldn’t be looking at you for any of the right reasons

Most of the guys at school made fun of you for your size

So of course you had thought just by going from his looks he was going to make fun of you

He starts to approach you with a smile and you try to prepare yourself for the worst

He gave you a small smile and says, “Hey”

“Hey there,” you say trying not to sound too insecure

“Sorry about bothering you but I saw you over here and I couldn’t help myself.”

You looked at him confused, “Oh?”

He gives you a confused look, “I wanted to ask you out.

From then on out you two became an item

Everyone at school knew about you two

Everyone at his dojo knew about you

You two would receive constant stares

He would squeeze your hand tighter

Robby didn’t care “Just avoid them, baby. You’re perfect.”

You gave him a small smile, “No. We’re perfect.”

You saw Robby’s face turn a slight pink and he smiled.

Plus everyone knew not to fuck with you or there’d be Hell to pay

Safe to say you didn’t get made fun of as much anymore

It was a welcome surprise

On days you became insecure or sad about your weight Robby was there front and center showering you with compliments

Not the compliments that have no weight

Real compliments

Trust me the boys says it from his chest

“You are seriously the most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on”

“Robby, you don’t–”

“Yes, I do. You mean so much to me. I can’t have you thinking lies about yourself.”

You roll your eyes, “Sure.”

“What? You’re smart, you’re beautiful; I mean you are so beautiful that I sit in class sometimes and think ‘How did I end up with a girl like you?’ I cannot believe that you are mine. You are so perfect and such a wonderful person to everyone you see. You are beautiful on the inside and out 100%”

You hold back your tears and decide to take a chance and kiss him

That was your first kiss with Robby

You felt your head start to spin and your heart start to pound

From there you two found it hard to stay off of each other

PDA in the hallways were definitely a must now

Robby had absolutely no shame about being with you and showing his appreciation for you

Holding hands, arm over your shoulder, hugging you, kissing you

After you cracked that door of affection, he practically kicked it open

When takes you out on a date you two would opt for arcades, putt-putt, or a movie

Getting your favorite snacks or choosing a quick fast food place to get to the fun stuff as soon as possible

“C’mon, Keene! Let’s hit the putt-putt course!”

He laughs at you and follows right behind you. He always let you make the decisions. Him just wanting you to always be happy with whatever you do.

“I am so gonna kick your ass!” You laugh.

You loved getting easy going Robby riled up.

Bending over at just the perfect view.

“I know what you’re doing,” Robby smirks.

“Sorry? What am I doing?” You say innocently.

You could see Robby’s slight blush, “You’re a tease, you know that?” Robby chuckles.

You gasp sarcastically, “Me? A tease? Never!”

Robby is seriously one of the sweetest and most compassionate boyfriend you’ll ever have

He knows what if felt like to not be wanted

To not love yourself

And he makes damn sure that you never feel lonely or feel less than

Robby changed you as a person. You changed him as well.

You two wouldn’t be able to make it without each other

It’s like you two were you built for each other

No matter what size you were or how you looked like, you and Robby would just click

You two were the perfect couple

And everyone eventually agreed

[powerpuff2003]

I'm so sorry. Those ppl telling you to kys are Way over the line, but you need to understand that you have heavily internalized terf viewpoints. All these people aren't just calling you a terf for no reason. And your deflection that you're "literally trans" is meaningless. Do you think cis women can't have internalized misogyny?

You talk about how some trans women have "cis male mindsets." That's terf rhetoric. You literally just told a trans woman "You're a man." You're a terf.

Your relationship with porn is explicitly what terfs take advantage of to lure people down the radfem pipeline. I'm really worried for you, sis. I'm sorry you've only been met with anger for this. It's understandable, but it's our responsibility to look out for our younger sisters.

Please rethink the conclusions you've come to. They won't make you happy. You'll never be able to surround yourself in trans joy when you're constantly looking over your shoulder for "the bad ones".

I appreciate you being kind in your words instead of simply hostile.

I think a dude with a conversion r*pe fetish is a man pretending to be trans to get his sick kicks and not really trans. That is my opinion on the matter. Assuming that's the incident where I called someone a man that you saw.

If "the bad ones" are homophobic sex pests then yes I will reject them out of simple morality, not "optics".

I understand that I will never be "the good one", I've been down that path, tried, failed, tried again, failed, its tired and it will not work. I do fully know. But I will still fully stand for what I believe is right even if other trans people disagree. Terfs won't agree either, and I'm not trying to pander to them anyway.

I want to surround myself in trans joy, I really do, but as long as there's people who identify as trans women making lesbophobic r*pe kink blogs, femicide jokes, homophobic coercion. As long as these things are ok in some portions of the trans community, I have to alienate certain trans people from my life. I do partake in trans joy with trans friends, in fact almost all of my friends who aren't cis women, are trans people. A large portion of my friend circle is trans women, my girlfriend is transfem, I'm t4t. Trans women are pretty much the center of my life in that respect, seeing as they're the only people I'm interested in forming an intimate life-long partnership with.

If anything its BECAUSE I see myself as a woman in my subconscious that the sexism some trans people expound hurts me so much. And, when they do that, within my head I cannot think of any rationalization other than "they do not really see themself as a woman like I do". I don't know how else to explain it in my head. I have to fear "the bad ones" because in fact some of them are known for preying on the community! Watch The Sasha Manifesto by Keffals.

This is a very difficult and very complex subject for me, I do hope you see that I am being genuine in standing up for what I think is right and am really truly not trying to be "the good trans" as I think that is a losing game. Feel free to message me if you want to have further conversation, I think we could really come to something here.

Also I love your blog aesthetic. SU carried me through my teen years.