#I am now 28

[robbybirdy]

Gonna be slowly working on my blog for the next few days. The last week has been emotional. It started with my birbie, Smokie (a 20+ year old cockatiel) not feeling well. He wasn't eating ( I made sure though he was hydrated), he was mouth breathing (which is kinda scary for a birb) and just really sleepy. and he didn't want to stay in his cage. but that was a few days ago and things have been getting better in regards to his health. He is eating and drinking, he is trying to perch again. He is slowly moving around in his cage again. But still sleeping in his favorite spot on the back of the couch. And I have been getting on and off again sleep. I am feeling like I want to write for the first time in about a week.

[monkifuraibo]

Birf

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[hobbitinthetardis]

Rebels 1x01: Spark of Rebellion Part 1 Ahsoka 1x06: Far, Far Away

[hyakunana]

Late night art feat the most miserable man that ever stepped in DGP

[kittykatninja321]

Even better than the dead loved one Comes Back Wrong trope is the “there is something in the shape of your dead loved one and it is not your beloved and it trying to tempt you and you must resist it at all costs” trope

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Anyone else just not feeling like a real person much lately?

[eight-pointed-star]

tolkien would argue that the plural of terf is terves

[mirakurutaimu]

How does it feel being the only entertaining Helldivers 2 streamer?

im gonna get some grocery store deli chicken tenders for my birthday

[lacquerheadd]

guess who’s obsessed with a new podcast!!

[howlsnteeth]

it's my birthday yippee ! i almost broke/have severely sprained my ankle ._.

[clione16]

"chilchuck is that one 'she is 10000-year-old dragon' trope but he is guy so no one ever think it is weird" "people who thirst over him is a pedo" Do. You. Even. Read. The. Manga.

[gothoffspring]

it my birfday 👉👈 not being sad today! I am happy and grateful and working on myself and my future!!! Things will be okay!!!!

What if I surprise dropped some of the recolors I've had ready to post for ages 👀

[jounosparticles]

need jouno and tecchou age reveal Please

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"FREEZE YOUR BRAIN" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)

I regret my life choices of not being able to actually start studying. Here's "Freeze Your Brain" adapted in Italian!

ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)

(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)

[J.D.] Sono stato in dieci superiori Tutte la stessa scenetta Inutile abituarsi Perché ce ne andiamo di fretta Mio padre tiene nel baule pronti due bagagli Quindi è solo una questione di ricaricarli I nomi non imparo Che faccia è di chi non m'è chiaro La fiducia in questa oasi di cemento riparo Sembra che ogni volta che sto per disperarmi C'è un 7-Eleven ad aspettarmi Ogni negozio è lo stesso Da Las Vegas all'Ohio Corsie di linoleum che adoro Vagare io Prego al mio altare di granita; Sì, adoro quella dolce botta di vita...

Congela il cervello Succhia dalla cannuccia Meglio di un coltello Arriva la felicità Quando tutto se ne va A chi serve uno spinello? Congela il cervello Congela il cervello

[J.D., parlato] Ti va un tiro?

[VERONICA, parlato] La tua mammina sa che mangi tutta quella merda?

[J.D., parlato] Non più

(cantato) Quando mamma era viva Vivevamo quasi normalmente Ora siamo solo io e mio padre Stiamo meno formalmente Ho imparato a cucinare Le tasse a pagare; Imparato che'l mondo Nemmeno un cent ti vorrà dare Il tuo futuro hai pianificato Veronica Sawyer Andrai a qualche college E sposerai un avvocato Ma il cielo farà male Quando su di te sarà demolito Quindi è meglio se Il tuo muro l'avrai già costruito...

Congela il cervello Nuota nel ghiaccio Perditi nel suo doloroso bello Chiudi bene i tuoi occhi Fino a che non ti vedran quegli sciocchi Non diventare uno zimbello

Congela il cervello Distruggiti il teschio Combatti il dolore con uno più bello Dimentica chi sei Liberati da quel peso Dimentica in un mese e mezzo Riavrai lo stesso frainteso Quando la voce nella tua testa Dice ch'uno come te è meglio se non resta Non ascoltare a quello

Solo congela il cervello Congela il cervello Vai avanti e congela il cervello...

(parlato) Provaci So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)

[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They're all the same little scene (but little in this case is meant in a negative light) No point getting used to it 'Cause we're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases ready in the den So it's only a matter of refilling(/repacking) them I don't learn the names Whose faces is whose isn't clear to me My trust resides in this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven waiting for me Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Ohio Linoleum aisles that I love To walk around in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for sweet hit of life (or however you call that, basically gives life force again but something that gives you life force not in a literal sense)...

Freeze your brain Suck from that straw Better than a knife Happiness comes When everything goes Who needs a joint? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain

[J.D., spoken] You want a hit?

[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?

[J.D., spoken] Not anymore

(sung) When mom was alive We lived almost normally But now it's just me and my dad We live less formally I learned to cook pasta To pay taxes; Learned the world Won't want to give you even a cent You've planned your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it'll be demolished on you So it'll be better if You'll have already built your wall

Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in its beautiful pain Shut your eyes tight(/well) Till those fools (sorry I had to use this for the rhyme) won't see you Don't become a laughingstock

Freeze your brain Destroy your skull Fight pain with a more beautiful one Forget who you are Free yourself from that weight Forget in a month and a half You'll have the same misunderstanding again When the voice in your head Says someone like you is better off gone Don't listen to that guy(/him)

Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...

(spoken) Try it OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):

[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They start to get blurry No point planting roots 'Cause you're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den So it's only a matter of when I don't learn the names Don't bother with faces All I can trust is this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven right there Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Boston Linoleum aisles that I love To get lost in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush...

Freeze your brain Suck on that straw Get lost in the pain Happiness comes When everything numbs Who needs cocaine? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain See upcoming pop shows Get tickets for your favorite artists

[J.D., spoken] Care for a hit?

[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?

[J.D., spoken] Not anymore

(sung) When mom was alive We lived halfway normal But now it's just me and my dad We're less formal I learned to cook pasta I learned to pay rent; Learned the world Doesn't owe you a cent You're planning your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it falls So you better start Building some walls...

Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in the pain Shut your eyes tight Till you vanish from sight Let nothing remain

Freeze your brain Shatter your skull Fight pain with more pain Forget who you are Unburden your load Forget in six weeks You'll be back on the road When the voice in your head Says you're better off dead Don't open a vein

Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...

(spoken) Try it

[rebrandedbard]

they'd starve without me