Tumgik
#I am so tired of waiting you don’t even know
luveline · 1 day
Note
hey!! I'd love to see one where maybe jack and hotch try speaking to the baby in pregnant!reader's tummy :))
thank you for requesting! fem, 1k
You sniff Aaron’s hair. It’s your right as his wife to enjoy his smells. You’re too tired for subtlety. “You know how many weeks I am today?” you ask. 
You’re in a bubble together. Aaron answers with his usual calm tenor. “You are twenty seven weeks today, honey.” 
It’s endearing that he knows. It’s nice to have found a good one. To never have to worry about compassion or care. Which isn’t to say he’s perfect, he makes wrong decisions, and he disappoints you sometimes, but still, he’s a good one. You aren’t perfect either and you don’t have to be, all you need to do is love and respect one another as much as is physically possible, and you do.  
“Mm,” you hum, drawing a heart into his arm, “and you know what they say around this time?” 
“I’m not sure.” 
“She can hear you, if you want to talk to her.” 
“Really?” 
“That’s what I read earlier on. That if you talk to her through my stomach, she can probably hear your voice. By full term she’ll have hearing like me and you.” 
“Is that true?” he asks, resting his hand on your bump. Sometimes when the baby is in a bad mood and her foot feels like it’s making a bruise through your skin, all Aaron has to do is touch you, and she stops. 
“Well, according to the baby book. They say by twenty nine weeks it’s a sure thing.” 
“Can I speak to her?” 
You brush through his hair with your pinky nail. “Sure, sweetheart. You can talk to her all night long, I’m sure she’d love to hear your voice.” You push the hair from his forehead. “I like hearing you talk.” 
“Lay back,” he says. 
Aaron sits up and you lay down, your head in the pillows, your pregnancy cushion a support on your left side. He slides your t-shirt up slowly as though giving you time to say no. He begins to rub slow circles around the bump, before laying his head flat to he bed, his lip less than two inches from your distended tummy. 
“Hi, baby,” he says, unabashed. “How are you feeling?” 
You laugh. He peeks up at you. 
“Sorry, it’s just funny.” 
“It’s okay. I’d laugh if you started asking my stomach questions too…” He smiles. “But my baby’s in there, so you’ll have to forgive me.” 
“I won’t laugh again, promise.” 
“It’s fine if you do. I’m finding it hard to take myself seriously.” He slows his rubbing. “Baby, if you can hear me, please say hi… I love you. I’m so happy you’re getting bigger.” 
The longer he talks, the less funny it becomes. His melodic murmuring turns praising, he talks of you and Jack and every amazing thing waiting for the baby in the world when she’s done cooking. He tells her he loves her, loves you, that she’s beautiful even though she’s shaped like a GMO kidney bean. He’s totally relaxed. You fall in love with him all over again. 
“And it looks like your big brother wants to say hi too,” he says. 
You perk up. Footsteps rush down the hall to the master bedroom, and a knock echoes fast. Jack doesn’t wait for an answer, bursting in with a happy gasp. “I knew you were still awake,” he says. “Please can I come watch TV with you?” 
“Sure, buddy, but we aren’t watching anything right now,” Aaron says. 
“What are you doing?” 
“I’m talking to your sister.” 
Jack leans against the bed, fingers screwing in Aaron’s shirt unthinkingly. “You are?” 
“I read in my book today that she can maybe hear you when you talk to her,” you tell him. “Would you want to talk to her, bud?” 
“Can I?” 
“Sure. I don’t mind. I’d love for you to say hello, ‘cos how special is that? For the last few weeks, all she’s been able to hear is me. She doesn’t know she has a whole family waiting for her.” 
Aaron straightens and helps Jack climb onto the bed. He settles at the pillows with you, leaning down briefly to kiss you, lips misaligned but no less gentle. 
“What do I say?” Jack whispers, putting his hand carefully on your bump. 
“You can say anything you want,” you whisper back. “You can say hi, or you can tell her something. The best thing about babies is that we get to teach them about everything.” 
“Okay, um… well,” —he braces himself with two hands on your tummy and leans in— “you can’t see, but we have a dad with brown hair and brown eyes, and we have a super pretty mommy who smiles all the time at me…” Jack’s cheek tips toward his shoulder. “On Sunday they take me to the library and we stay there all morning. And for dinner we always have, um, one hand of vegetables and one hand of chicken, or pork, or pasta. But it’s okay if you can’t finish everything.” 
He looks at his father. “Is that okay?” he asks. 
Aaron offers his hand. “Buddy, that’s perfect. You can tell her anything that you want. She just wants to hear your voice.” 
“Can I tell her about teenage mutant ninja turtles?” 
You laugh. “Sure,” Aaron says. 
Jack starts to talk about Donatello. You try not to laugh as his little hands tickle you, turning your face into Aaron’s side. 
“I have so many things to say to you right now, but I’m worried it’s too saccharine,” he says. 
“Save them for later,” you say, hugging his waist. “Can I nap here? Would you rub my arm?” 
Aaron rubs your arm as you’ve asked. You fall asleep to the sound of your stepsons mumbled rambling and Aaron’s occasional breathy laugh. 
496 notes · View notes
bts-trans · 2 days
Text
240918 Weverse Translations
Jin's Post ❇️
Tumblr media
안녕하세요 진이에요 오랜만에 인사 드립니다 다들 추석 잘 즐기고 계신가요!? 저는 음식들도 해먹고 가족들과도 보고 잘 지냈습니다! 지금은 밀라노행 비행기를 타러 공항에 나와 있습니다 이런 자리 참석하는게 처음인거 같아 무척이나 떨립니다(사실 안떨림) 그럼 다녀오겠습니다! (https://weverse.io/bts/artist/2-149342706)
Hi, this is Jin. It's been a while since I've greeted you. Is everyone having a great Chuseok so far!? I spent it well by cooking and spending time with my family! I'm currently at the airport waiting to get on the flight to Milan. I'm really nervous as this is the first time I'm attending something like this (truthfully I'm not nervous) Ok I'll be back!
Trans cr; Annie @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS
RM's Comments 💬 on ARMY's Posts ❇️
Tumblr media
💜: jk 잘 봤어요~~ bts 군복무중에도 살아있네 ㅋㅋㅋ 내년 6월까지 어떻게 기다리죠? 김남준 김석진 민윤기 정호석 박지민 김태형 전정국 보고싶다~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RM: 국방부 시계는 거꾸로 매달아도 간다 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179361567)
💜: I enjoyed watching jk~~ bts are really active even when they're in the military hahaha How do I wait until June next year? Kim Namjoon Kim Seokjin Min Yoongi Jung Hoseok Park Jimin Kim Taehyung Jeon Jungkook, I miss you~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RM: The military clock runs even if you hang it upside down
💜: 군데에서 살 쳤어요? RM: 네.. 78kg임 훈련소 때 69였는데.. (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179363817)
💜: Did you gain weight in the military?
RM: Yes.. I'm 78kg I was 69 when I was in the training camp..
💜: How are you doing Mr. Kim namjoon!? You must be working hard!? ....stay healthy ... Love youuu 💜😭 RM: 이제 운동하러 갈려고요 RM: 이게 피곤한 게 잠을 못자서 피곤한건지 운동을 주 6일해서 피곤한건지 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179364211)
💜: How are you doing Mr. Kim namjoon!? You must be working hard!? ….stay healthy … Love youuu 💜😭
RM: I'm going to work out right now
RM: I'm tired and I don't know if it's because I didn't sleep well or because I've been working out 6 days a week
Tumblr media
💜: 오빠💜 제대하면 콘서트에서 색소폰을 보여주세요🎷 RM: 다른 악기도 배워야하는데 맨날 귀찮아서 미루는중 RM: 드럼이나 기타도 배워볼까 싶네요 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179363625)
💜: Oppa 💜 When you get out of the military, please pleay the saxophone🎷
RM: I should learn other instruments too but I just get lazy and keep putting it off
RM: I'm considering learning the drums or guitar too
💜: 남준이형 군대는 잘 지내요? 당신이 아주 잘 지내길 바라요 건강하시고 무사히 복귀하세요 많이 보고싶다💜 RM: 그럭저럭.. 그냥 남들처럼 RM: 일기도 다시 쓰기 시작 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/1-149353320)
💜: Namjoonie hyung, are you doing well in the military? I really hope you're doing well. Stay healthy and come back safe. I miss you a lot💜
RM: I'm getting by.. just like everyone else
RM: I started writing a diary again
💜: hi namjoon, what did you eat today? RM: 김치보끔밥 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179364832)
💜: hi namjoon, what did you eat today?
RM: Kimchi fried rice
💜: Don’t lose that beautiful smile of yours Joonie RM: 웃어라 온 세상이 너와 함께 웃을 것이다 울어라 너 혼자 울게 될 것이다 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/1-149353770)
💜: Don't lose that beautiful smile of yours Joonie
RM: Smile, and the whole world will smile with you Cry, and you cry alone
💜: 남준이가 추천하는 음식은? RM: 사회 음식 뭐든.. (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179366237)
💜: Food you recommend?
RM: Any kind of non-military food..
💜: 김치보끔밥 만들어먹음? RM: 취사병들의 노고로.. (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179366603)
💜: Did you make the kimchi fried rice?
RM: Thanks to the labour of the mess personnel…
💜: 제가 공부하도록 동기를 부여해 주시겠어요?😭 RM: 저도 공부합니다 공부는 평생 하는겁니다 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179367295)
💜: Will you motivate me to study? 😭
RM: I am also studying, studying is something you do your entire life
💜: 회원이 게시하면 모두가 스팸을 시작하는 방식이 마음에 듭니다. 😂😂 RM: 스팸 계란이랑 구워먹으면 꿀맛 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179368543)
💜: I like how everyone starts to spam whenever a member's here. 😂😂
RM: Spam grilled with eggs is delicious
💜: 군대 나오면 24시간 군대 얘기 해줭 RM: 할말 줠라 많지.. RM: 어디까지 할 수 있을까 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/2-149350263)
💜: When you're out of the military, you should do a thing where you talk about it for 24 hours
RM: There's so damn much to say..
RM: How much will I be able to talk
💜:내 사랑하는 매튜, 나는 항상 너의 곁에 있고 싶어요. 너와 함께 시간을 보내면 나의 세상은 훨씬 더 밝고 행복해집니다. 네가 내게 주는 사랑과 행복은 정말 소중해요. 네 미소, 네 눈빛, 네 목소리는 나에게 특별한 의미를 가지고 있어요. 네가 어디에 있던, 나는 항상 너를 생각하고, 네가 행복하길 바랍니다. 우리의 사랑은 특별해요. 나는 너와 함께 있는 모든 순간을 소중히 여기고, 우리가 함께 만들어가는 추억들을 영원히 기억하려고 해요. 항상 네 곁에 있을 거에요. 사랑해, 줄리 💕💕💕 RM: 매튜가 누구야 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179371873)
💜: My dear Matthew, I will always be by your side.
(T/N: *OP goes on to talk about how happy Matthew makes them and how much they love him.)
RM: Who's Matthew
Tumblr media
💜: 오빠!!저 머리잘랐눈데 어때염!!?? RM: 오 중단발 RM: 잘 어울려요 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179373916)
💜: Oppa! I cut my hair how does it look!!??
RM: Ooh medium-length hair
RM: It suits you
💜: 남준🐨🩵 추석은 쉴 수 있나요? 책은 읽었습니까? RM: 파스칼 키냐르 은밀한 생 헤르만 헤세 싯다르타 추천 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179375310)
💜: Namjoon🐨🩵 Did you get to rest during Chuseok? Did you read any books?
RM: Pascal Quignard's 'Vie secrète' Herman Hesse's 'Siddhartha' I recommend them
💜: 캡틴, 좋은 드라마 추천 있어요?^o^ RM: 드라마 볼 엄두가 안 나네.. 몰입이 너무 씨게 돼 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179374801)
💜: Captain, do you have any good drama recommendations?^o^
RM: I can't risk watching dramas.. I get too invested
💜: RPWP, 아미가 아닌 친구에게 추천했더니 굉장히 마음에 들어했고, 남씨가 라이브 할 때는 함께 가고 싶다고 말해 주었습니다💜그날이 기다려집니다. RM: 그러게요 하긴 해야할텐데 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179377045)
💜: I recommended RPWP to a friend of mine who isn't ARMY and they really liked it, and said that they'd want to come with me if I went to see you live💜 I'm waiting for that day.
RM: Yeah, I probably should do it live at some point
Tumblr media
💜: Namjoon how was your birthday? I also went to you birthday event! RM: 홀리쉿 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179376266)
💜: Namjoon how was your birthday? I also went to you birthday event!
RM: Holy shit
(T/N: *The translation of the words on the photo strip can be found when you click here.)
💜: 남준아보고싶다 RM: 말해뭐해 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/1-149359712)
💜: I miss you Namjoon-ah
RM: What can I even say
💜: 최근에 기뻤던 일은 무엇입니까? RM: 50퍼 넘긴거요... (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179378409)
💜: What's something that made you happy recently?
RM: Being more than 50% done*…
(T/N: *50% of his military service.)
💜: 남준! 지금 너의 머리는 얼마나 길어요? RM: 저 빡빡이때보다 조금더 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179377843)
💜: Namjoon! How long is your hair now?
RM: A bit longer than the buzz cut
💜: 남준오빠 군대에서는 잘 지내나요? 당신이 다 치지 않았기를 바랍니다. 지금 가장 좋아하는 노래를 말해주세요😁 RM: mozart piano concerto no.21 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/2-149354094)
💜: Namjoon oppa, are you going well in the military? I hope you don't get injured. Tell me your favourite song right now😁
RM: mozart piano concerto no.21
💜: 남준씨, 언젠가 메건과 함께 라이브 공연할 계획이 있나요?" RM: 메건 너무 바쁜거같애요 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179380333)
💜: Namjoon-ssi, do you have any plans to perform live with Megan?
RM: I think Megan is too busy
💜: 거긴 벌써 겨울이야? RM: 제발 그랬으면 좋겠네 RM: 제설하고 싶다 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179382974)
💜: Is it already autumn there?
RM: I really wish it was
RM: I want to clear snow from the road
💜: 추석은 어떻게 지냈어요? RM: 운동하고 유투브보고 책읽고 밥먹고 운동하고 유투브보고 책읽고 웹툰보고 밥먹고 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179382275)
💜: How did you spend Chuseok?
RM: I worked out and watched YouTube and read a book and ate and worked out and watched YouTube and read a book and read a Webtoon and ate
💜: 고생 많으셨습니다 RM: 오츠카레사마 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/2-149356766)
💜: You've worked so hard, good job.
RM: You've worked so hard, good job.*
(T/N: *In Japanese.)
💜: 남준이 답장할 때까지 숨을 못 쉬겠어요. RM: 숨쉰 채 발견됩시다 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179384621)
💜: I won't breathe until Namjoon replies
RM: Let's show up breathing
💜: 남준오빠나 오늘 몸이 불편하지만 가야금 연습하고 노래 연습했어!힘들지만 좋아하는 일을 하면 즐거움이 대부분이다 RM: 멋지네 RM: 나도 악기 배울거야 꼭 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179386640)
💜: Namjoon oppa, I'm not feeling well today but I still did gayageum practice and practiced singing too! It's hard but when I do something I like, I enjoy it for the most part
RM: You're so cool
RM: I'm gonna learn an instrument too
💜: 겨울의 김남준: 눈 이 xxxx야 RM: 바보똥개 어서와 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/2-149357957)
💜: Kim Namjoon in the winter: this **** snow
RM: Welcome, fool
Tumblr media
💜: 남주나 전역해서 이거 한번 더 가능해? RM: 전역하면 베이비펌 하는게 꿈이야 RM: 근데 뭔들 못하겠어
💜: Namjoon-ah, can you do this again after the military?
RM: My dream is to get a baby perm after the military
RM: But what can't I do
💜: namjoon oppa what are you doing now🥸 RM: 이제 슬 운덩하러 가야지 RM: 근데 식단을 모다게써요 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179391154)
💜: namjoon oppa what are you doing now🥸
RM: I need to start heading off to work out
RM: But I can't do the diet*
(T/N: Said cutely.)
Tumblr media
💜: 우리 남준, 군대 끝나면 가장 먼저 무엇을 할 거예요? 가장 하고 싶었던 일은... RM: 베이비펌 하고싶어요.. (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/4-179392520)
💜: Our Kim Namjoon, what is the first thing you're going to do after your military service ends? What you wanted to do the most is…
RM: I want a baby perm…
💜: 김남준처럼 반응 빠른 애인 갖고싶다 RM: 나 정도면 훌륭하지 (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179394699)
💜: I want to date someone who reacts as fast as Kim Namjoon
RM: Being as fast as me would be impressive
💜: 남주나 왜 이렇게 보고싶냐 RM: 나도 그래 RM: 운동 간다 이제 ! (https://weverse.io/bts/fanpost/3-179395174)
💜: Namjoon-ah why do I miss you so much
RM: It's the same for me
RM: Going to work out now!
Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS
74 notes · View notes
laurentidal · 1 day
Text
Tumblr media
Sitter TV
“So the money is on the bar, and we’ll be back around midnight.”
Mr. Thompson was a nice guy. Always paid well to watch his kid when he and his wife went out. Karli never felt weird around him. Never felt like he was going to creep on her or anything. Just a genuinely nice guy. His wife was a little uppity, but otherwise also bearable. She was never outright mean, just a little bit condescending. When Karli had dyed her hair, she’d heard Mrs. Thompson ask her husband if they still wanted me to watch their daughter. He’d stood up for her, which felt nice.
“Oh and the TV is new,” he said. “It’s a smart TV and it’s got all these… I dunno… Channels? Apps? Watch whatever. You’ll probably know how to work it better than we do by the end of the night.”
Karli chuckled. She probably would.
“There’s one we added today for you,” Mrs. Thompson added. “It’s called Sitter TV. Don’t know if it’s to entertain kids or if its for the babysitters.”
“I’ll check it out, thanks.”
“In bed by nine,” he called as they closed the door.
“You got it!”
The night was uneventful for the most part. The little girl was quite shy, but Karli could get her to play. She’d put on the girl’s cat ear headband and they’d pretend to be cat princesses in a magical far away kingdom. Finally, around eight, Karli sat down and turned on Sitter TV to see what it was.
It sure looked like cartoons, though she’d never seen these before.
“You wanna watch for an hour before bed?”
She nodded.
So the two sat on the couch and watched the cartoons. An hour passed, and they were both, kind of tired. Play will do that to you, so Karli took her upstairs and laid her in bed, watching her drift off quickly. She wandered back downstairs and noticed the TV was still on. Still playing Sitter TV. She sat back down in front of it, not wanting to turn it off just yet. What had they been watching? She couldn’t remember.
She sat there on the couch, cartoon after cartoon playing. Each one was a little weirder. Maybe late at night, the programming changed. Karli was transfixed. She couldn’t wait to see what was going to be on next. Hours passed. At a certain point, she stopped even being aware of the plot of what she was watching. To her mind, they were just lights and sounds on the screen. A small trickle of drool ran down over her lip.
“Sitter TV,” a voice said from behind her. She hadn’t ever heard Mrs. Thompson enter. Even now, she didn’t turn to look at the woman. “As advertised.”
Hands came down and stroked Karli’s cheek. A finger ran up, wiping the drool as it went. The other hand dropped lower, pinching Karli’s nipple through her shirt and bra. She inhaled sharply, but never blinked. Never took her eyes from the TV.
“Listen to me, girl,” Mrs. Thompson said harshly. “You belong to me now. You are my slave.”
“I am your slave,” she heard a familiar voice say.
“I am your Mistress.”
“You are my Mistress.”
“You will obey me.”
“I will obey you.”
“Good. Now act natural for my husband. Wake, but remain enslaved.”
“Yes, Mistress.” Karli blinked. Once. Twice. Then stood smiling as Mr. Thompson entered the room carrying bags from some late night store they’d stopped at.
“I’m going to take Karli home, dear,” Mistress Thompson said sweetly.
“Okay!” her husband called from the kitchen.
“In the car.”
“Yes, Mistress.”
The drive home was uneventful for the most part. Mistress Thompson was so nice. Karli licked her pussy the whole drive and at the end, she was even allowed to cum herself. Karli was so lucky to belong to her.
Thanks for reading! If you are a fan of my work, consider buying me a coffee. Any contribution is insanely appreciated. 💖
33 notes · View notes
gojoidyll · 4 hours
Text
There is No Law that Emperors Must be Fair
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Emperor ! Jing Yuan x Princess ! Reader
Chapter 8 | An Aeon
Summary | You are set to marry the Emperor, Jing Yuan. In order to break the engagement, you stage an accident and fake having amnesia. But now, your own cruel, cold, and distant fiancé, who seemed to not want anything to do with you, is now acting all lovey dovey!
want to be a part of the taglist? then pls go to taglist ^-^
Previous | Fic Masterlist | Next
Tumblr media
When you wake up, your mind feels kind of fuzzy. Almost as if you were missing something.
“Something the matter?”
You felt your soul leave your body at the sudden voice causing him to laugh. Snapping your head to the side, you noticed it was the man from before. The one who erased your death- wait, your death? And that was when it hit you. You couldn’t remember how you died or the pain that you felt. It was like-
“It never even happened?”
You gave him a weary look, causing him to chuckle softly at both your expression and how you were acting.
“There is no need to fret, you know? I am not going to hurt you.”
“What- what are you doing here?”
You ended up ignoring his lighthearted words and gestured to the library. You were still on the couch, and the book you were holding had fallen to the floor.
The man mused to himself, his smile light and warm.
“I suppose it was quite rude of me to task you finding my name.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because my name hasn’t existed in the sense that you know of.”
“…I don’t understand.”
Sunday turned a little and patted his lap. Despite not remembering your death, you did remember how you met him. So you crawled to him, moving some of the cushions in your way and laid sideways, your head nuzzled comfortably in his lap which allowed him to run his fingers through your hair once again.
“My name is Sunday, and I existed not too long ago. However, my reign was short lived thanks to that Emperor. And to worsen my pride, he went and erased my very existence by taking out everything that had any relevance to me.”
“Sunday…?”
You let his name roll off your tongue. The name wasn’t familiar.
“So you fought and lost against the Emperor?”
“I did. I suppose I wanted to see if I still existed somewhere. Anywhere. Though, if I don’t even exist in the Emperor’s library, well, then my name wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
“Why did you fight against him?”
“For my own beliefs. Much like everyone else.”
“What exactly are you anyway?”
“I’m just Sunday. An older brother. A friend. A leader of sorts. And someone who failed in the end.”
“How are you here now then?”
Your voice was soft as you spoke and when Sunday looked down at you, you wondered how someone so angelic could look so sad but still have that soft smile on his face.
“I guess you could say I got lucky with how supposedly died… if shorter terms, I became an aeon.”
“An aeon…huh? And what was that kiss you placed on my forehead? Ever since you did it, I have been having trouble remembering some things.”
“A kiss on the forehead erases pain and misery, so I kiss your forehead, however, a kiss on the forehead can also erase memory. I suppose…, I just didn’t want you to remember the pain you felt when you died.”
“Why?”
Sunday smiled at your question, “because I wanted to, do I need any other reason?”
You hummed at his answer, your eyes glancing back to the library door. You don’t remember closing, maybe Blade did?
“So now that I know your name, what am I supposed to do now?”
“Well,” Sunday started, “you still want to go home, don’t you? Find a way to do that.”
“But how? I kind of died the last time I tried.”
Sunday shook his head as he tried to keep himself from laughing, “don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find a way. And don’t worry about the rest. If you do die again, I’ll simply erase everything all over again.”
You nodded to his words, but yawned once more, despite sleeping for so long, you were still so impossibly tired which was when Sunday gently bent down to kiss both of your eyelids.
“A kiss to your eyelids, to erase your tiredness.”
And it was true, the sleep that was beckoning gradually left and just as you were about to say something to him, he was already gone. Your head was no longer on his lap and instead rested on a bunch of cushions, and just as you were about to sit up, the library door opened.
“You’re still lying down,” Blade said, an obvious hint of annoyance rested within his tone causing you to frown at him as you sat up.
“I was getting up,” you argued which caused Blade to roll his eyes.
“Whatever…, are you planning to stay here all day princess?”
Huffing at his attitude, you stood up while completely forgetting about the book you had been reading, “I get it, ok? I’m leaving right now.”
Stomping your way out of the library, Blade followed not so quietly after you.
“Woke up on the wrong side of the couch, did we?”
“Oh shut it you…,” your voice trailed off when your stomping slowly slowed to a stop as you looked out to the field where there were a few people riding horses.
A new idea soon forming in your mind.
“Blade.”
“What?”
“I want to go horseback riding.”
Tumblr media
taglist pt 1
@danae-misfortune @frogsasfrogs @openthenyoor01 @zuhaine @ughlostmyotherac @joyfulnightprincess @thechibifoxcub @ceaether @satanisasofties @thetwinkims @yanrandom @honeybunbun @superdonkeypatroleggs @ohmyfinggod @baboon-milk333 @zareri @kclremin @rains-mae @yccoffeesimp @bloomiesty @moon-taffy @superdark-soul @pinkismyfavcolor @isa-l0v3r @its-astrotea-love @reapersan @junephantom21 @erisfayred @greyrain23 @justadekusimp @uzxotic @alisstaa @avalordream @unlivingdisaster @pix-stuff @sleepyxion14 @pillows-blankets @anicega @junni-berry @niaainthere @sorachitsuki @dyingsweetmackerel @rosariymchapter @immahuman @fluffy-koalala @momoniq @orphiclueur @insightedly
27 notes · View notes
Text
Coffee & Secrets (5)
Tumblr media
Series Masterlist
Pairing: Rookie Cop! Leon x Barista! Fem! Reader
Summary: As a cozy coffee shop owner in Raccoon City, you’re no stranger to visitors seeking comfort, quiet, and warmth. When a rookie officer named Leon finds a kindred spirit in you, it sets in motion a chain of events that forever changes the course of your lives. An alternate universe set in Resident Evil 2 Remake and inspired by the game Coffee Talk.
Content & Warnings: Canon divergence, coffee shops, romance, slow burn, strangers to lovers, idiots in love, fluff, slice of life, swearing
Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to @pickonerain! You've been an absolute star to me and seeing as you love Sherry, here's her little addition to the story 😇
AO3 Link
Tumblr media
Chapter 5: Divergence
It was not like Claire and Leon to hide from you, but somehow they had ended up right at the other end of the room, far away from the counter, out of sight. They seemed deep in conversation, their expressions grim, and Leon was gripping his porcelain cup so tight you were afraid it would shatter to bits in his hand.
Curiosity—or rather, nosiness—got the better of you, and you scooted closer to the couple, pretending to sweep the area so you could listen in more easily.
“This was why you wanted to meet me, Claire?”
“Isn’t it important enough? I don’t get why you’re being so defensive!”
“I thought you wanted to catch up over coffee, not use me for one of your schemes!”
“Use you? Are you even listening to yourself? How does bringing down that son of a bitch count as ‘using you’?
“Chief Irons probably had a good reason, and all these rumors—”
“Rumors? There’s cold, hard evidence! We just need that one missing piece—”
“No! Forget it.”
“What?”
“I’m not getting involved.”
“So, this is it, huh? You go your way, and I go mine?”
“I…”
“I’m embarrassed I even called you a friend.”
Kicking out her chair, Claire threw down a couple of bills on the table before storming out in a fit of rage, slamming the front door behind her. 
Before you could even react, Leon had beaten you to it. “Don’t look at me like that,” he chided, though he had ducked his face away, red with shame. “I know you heard everything. You weren’t exactly being very stealthy.”
“That was never really my strong suit,” you admitted. “Mind if I join you?”
“Be my guest,” he said, motioning to the seat beside him, still unable to look you in the eye.
Spying his half-finished drink on the table, now cold, you resisted the urge to get up and fix it, knowing there were other things he needed more in that moment. So, you continued to sit with him, and even though you did not exchange any words, you breathed together, content with sharing in each other’s company until he was ready to speak.
“Do you think I’m naive?”
“No, why do you ask?”
“Maybe I’m scared that I am,” he confessed, his voice small and tired. “What if I’m wrong? What if Claire’s wrong?”
Cradling his cheek in your hand, you caressed it softly. He didn’t protest, but leaned in indulgently, nuzzling his nose against your palm like a deer. Then, something clicked internally and he broke away, straightening up in his seat as though he had not just given in to his desires a moment ago. However, this time, his face was angled towards you, waiting.
“What does your gut feeling say?” you put forward. “I’d trust that.”
He hesitated, taking a deep breath as he stared off into the distance, gathering his thoughts. “A snake oil salesman—that’s one way of putting it.”
“Chief Irons,” he clarified. “Whenever I get close to something nasty, he throws me off scent.”
Another hunter—a more seasoned one, you observed.
“I guess you have your answer.”
He collapsed into the backrest of the armchair and exhaled, as though a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders. “I’ll figure it out,” he stated, mostly to himself.
“I know you will,” you said encouragingly.
He had chosen the more difficult path, but at least he had made peace with it and was no longer in denial about Chief Irons’ deception. That was definitely a step in the right direction.
“Thanks, that means a lot to me.”
Once again, there was a comfortable silence between the two of you. It felt nice like this, as though your very thoughts and beings were connected.
“I want to know more about you,” he professed out of the blue. “But somehow, you always manage to steer the conversation back to me.”
You gulped, fiddling with your hands. “What do you wanna know?”
“Everything,” he murmured. “Your backstory, your favorite color, what do you do outside of work…” he trailed off.
“I’m not used to talking about myself,” you spelled out.
He grinned cheekily, as if the battle had already been won. “Don’t worry, I’m a good listener.”
And so, you yielded to him, letting things unfold as they should. Hours passed while you shared tales and secrets over cups of spiced tea with sweet milk. The flavors of cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg swirled around your tongue, bringing to mind the warm, inviting breeze of a coastal town near the Red Sea.
“There’s many names for it,” you explained, circling the rim of the cup with your finger lazily. “But I know it as Shai Adeni.”
Leon nestled his chin in his hand, propping his elbow on the table as he gazed at you, captivated. “Incredible.”
“Hmm?” You were not sure if he had registered what you had just said.
Reaching out, he cupped the back of your neck, pulling you close. His heated breath moist against your flushed skin, and the scent of his cologne was dizzying. “You’re—”
The door chime jingled.
Both of you jolted, separating yourselves away from each other in a flash, as your eyes fell upon a little girl standing shyly by the entrance. She was dressed in a school uniform, her hair neatly swept back with a headband into a braided bun.
“Hey there,” you greeted, brushing your hands against your apron as you stood up, shuffling past Leon towards her. “Would you like something to drink?”
At this, she nodded enthusiastically, following you to the counter to grab a seat. As you infused white chocolate into milk with a good dollop of citrus, you exchanged looks with Leon, who held the same concerns as you.
Sliding over another high chair adjacent to hers, he gently opened with, “Hey, I’m Leon. You got a name, pumpkin?”
She wrinkled her nose and grimaced at the nickname. “Sherry,” she replied timidly.
“Nice to meet you, Sherry,” Leon said, shaking hands before he continued, “So, it’s really late, huh? Do your parents know where you are?”
She twiddled her thumbs, swinging her dangling legs back and forth on the chair. “They don’t care,” she said finally. “They’re busy.”
“What do your parents do?”
“They work at Umbrella. They’re making important new medicine,” she revealed proudly.
“Sounds like a tough job,” Leon empathized.
After sprinkling the glittery icing sugar on her drink, you set it before her with a flourish. “Voilà, your Yuzu Meringue, Miss Sherry.”
She giggled at your performance and slurped down the foamy surface. “Mmm!”
“Good, huh?” Leon gave her a side smile.
“Tell you what, Sherry,” you began, “when you finish your drink, my friend Leon here will take you home, okay?”
Her nose was dusted with powder and the cup was still covering half of her face as her eyes darted towards the man.
“He’s a good cop, you’ll be safe with him,” you reassured her. 
Scribbling down your shop’s telephone number on a piece of scrap paper, you handed it to her. “Keep this, you can call me anytime you need to.”
Taking it, she pursed her lips and nodded reluctantly as she stuffed it away into her pocket. “Can I—” she paused, “can I come here whenever I want? You and Leon are nice.”
A pang of loneliness hit you. You sensed it from the tone of her voice and what was left unsaid. It didn’t seem like she had many friends and you wondered about it.
“Please?” she begged, interrupting your thoughts.
“Of course, sweetheart,” you said warmly. “You’re welcome here anytime.”
“Thank you!” she squealed, running over to give you a quick hug before taking Leon by the hand.
Turning to you, a rosy hue spread across his face as he smiled meekly. “So… uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“See you tomorrow, as usual, Leon.”
Tumblr media
Dividers by @cafekitsune
29 notes · View notes
simgerale · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
27 notes · View notes
acourtofquestions · 20 days
Text
Ugh I’ve been so MIA I hate it 😭🖤 but I finally got my hands on a book last night and I can’t even
🚨KoA kinda round up🚨 from the depths of a sleep deprived forgetful quick rambling tired soul fangirling
Aedion screaming please and I take it back as Lysandra stands as Aelin in front of a war
The witch towers with the yielding which is scaring the hell out of me
Aelin reuniting with Chaol seeing him walk and that hug cause healing
And then immediately recognizing Yrene and their moment
And then her and Hasar being the queens they are
Plus Borte being Borte and just so many great characters in one shot
And I’m just so proud of Elide
And guys please for the love of gods just go to Terrasen
And then you have the cadre in all their glory and the ways she describes them which cracks me up because it’s like “stern beautiful Rowan” “glowing golden Gavriel” “Fenrys darling” “miserable bastard Lorcan” and their dynamic I just can’t even🤣 like the two of them have the sibling dynamic down to a science of “we hate each other… but okay maybe not really I guess their fine”
But then they learn about Maeve and holy shit rip my soul out and slap me with it
And then Aelin crying to Rowan which killed a little bit of my soul and healed it to hear it put into words and then killed it again and then there’s her and Fenrys and Gavriel and Rowan
“IM SO SO TIRED ROWAN”🖤 (but also why are we having this talk on an ice covered river… guys drowning is a real issue, just like scoot back into the forrest please?)
“No one would have left you like that, no one”😭 (I did spend like 10 minutes on Reddit trying to figure out what the “do you want me to tell you about it” line meant but I’m pretty sure it was stuff like that😭)
🥺”We fight”🥹
Chaol and Yrene need to talk about the baby so they can celebrate for .5 seconds cause there both being adorable again
Also like is there a new third person view cause now chapters end like “2 minutes in someone chaol never expected walks in” but then 4 chapter later the convo starts & then halfway through someone walks in… it’s not even forshadowing its like a preview?
Also are all valg princes princesses?
But like where’s my babies where’s my 13 where’s my Manon? Where’s my Dorian? We need the king and witch queen! How about my flower child who’s all dopey and in love? But also like no news is good news? I WANT AELIN NOWHERE NEAR THE KEYS WITH HER DEATH PLOT THESE DAYS MMM NO and then I thought it was the 13 when the wiverns pulled up but no it’s a witch tour greatgreatgreat greatgreatgreatgreeeeeeaaattttt
And have I mentioned I’m dead inside and this book is my world and it’s falling apart but in the beautiful perfect kinda way that feels like watching deathly hallows again but better
Also like I’m waiting for Aelin to unleash a fire storm
And it’s Rhoe’s shield🥺🥹
So idk this is where we are today
Chapter 51 here I come let’s see what Lorcan and inevitably Elide are up to and try to do some better posting catch up since the sleep deprivation is at peak productivity and let’s hope all my bbs reunite for a few scenes now and not to die or something cause is that too much to ask
P.S. MOONBEAM🤣🤣🤣
And I love how he just like ✨KAPOW💥 shifts I mean minus the trauma portion but the dramatic light flash effect would make Rhys (our lil wedding crasher) proud
PS PS I still love Nox
4 notes · View notes
exopelagic · 3 months
Text
this election feels so hollow even though it’s likely ostensibly gonna be a good outcome. labour really just sucks fucking ass rn huh
#if the tories lose bad enough to make lib dems the opposition though… a guy can hope#I think it’s the fact that this is the first general election I can vote in that’s making me lose my mind a little here#I have done basically nothing but read today. I DO know a whole bunch more abt voting systems and the nightmare the tories have been now tho#I’m just kinda like. okay so what happens next? bc labour WILL do some decent shit but they also. fucking suck.#planning to look into the local green party once I’m back at uni bc I could actually do stuff there#I think I’m just dealing with a little bit of whiplash going from doing a biology degree where Everything is about climate change#like unambiguously it gets brought up in every topic (I DO focus on ecology and agricultural stuff and not like genetics but still)#clear consensus from literally everyone you talk to that shit has to happen right the fuck now.#it’s not even like I’m unaware of the state of policy rn I KNOW it’s a nightmare to do anything but we at least TALK about it#and then this election where it’s barely a footnote. biggest thing is the sewage dumping everyone’s talking about and yeah fucking finally#but is that all you’ve got?? the labour manifesto is bleak. it has a section and the stuff they’re proposing isn’t bad but it’s so little#and yeah no they’ve changed the official line on the manifesto to ‘make Britain a clean energy superpower’#I SWEAR it was different a few days ago#maybe I’m being pessimistic bc their plans for clean energy if they actually do them could be huge especially if they manage it by 2030.#it’s just that I know what the targets are and they’re already pulling back on shit like EVs bc of the shift right and I am So Tired#two party politics is a curse. as much as reform is an actual nightmare them getting a decent vote share might actually be the thing that#gets people talking abt proportional representation again bc they are nothing if not good at being loud#did you know we had a fucking referendum in 2011 bc what the fuck. and it went SO BADLY even though people generally supported it#god idk I think I’m once again being naively optimistic about people and election coverage has been very good at knocking me down a bit#people generally are good. I have to believe this. but man the british public is making that really fucking hard#genuinely I think a good chunk of that is down to first past the post driving politics to be divisive and aggressive#like is it the only problem? fuck no. but it’s definitely poisoning the way this shit goes bc when all the parties do is jab at each other#what are we actually doing here#idk I’m gonna stop now but this is taking up a ridiculous amount of bandwidth rn I can’t wait for it to be over#already dreading what the next election could look like in 4 years if starmer continues to suck ass bc I don’t trust him to not like at all#luke.txt#I said i was done but I just looked at the lib dem manifesto and oh my god it’s actually pretty good on this? holy fucking shit
4 notes · View notes
b-blushes · 1 year
Text
‘funny’ side effect of using so much energy to make sure I’ve been doing a good evening routine this past week is that I’ve been so late eating (in terms of what’s normal for me) for so many of my meals this week 🙃
having a lot of ~autism moment~s lately! :P like, wild that the discipline (executive dysfunction/spoons/mental energy) required to just. initiate the sequence of ‘evening routine’ in a timely enough manner to give me enough time to calm down so I can try to sleep less badly has diverted SO much ability for the scheduling in the rest of the day.
I wanna be in slug mode but alas the show must go on
4 notes · View notes
strohller27 · 1 year
Text
.
#hoo boy lads I’m going out of my mind I have so much to do and no time to do it#‘you could have planned this out better’ Bitch I am the first person in my immediate family#who has even thought seriously about moving to a different country#and I HAVE ALREADY lived in another country before but it was within the confines of an exchange programme#nobody knows what I’m doing this time around and therefore nobody can help me plan#I’ve been feeling burnt out since Fall of 20-goddamn-22#and last semester I learned that my master’s degree programme cannot accommodate the thesis I want to write#life took my plans and ripped them up into millions of little pieces#and yeah you can say ‘tough shit. that’s life’ but I’m SO TIRED of this happening#because my whole life has been like that#‘you can make your own decisions when you have your own house/apartment/life’#OKAY you’ve been telling me that my whole life BUT WHEN IS IT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN?#I am TRYING to take my life by the horns and make things happen but#I can’t help noticing how precarious my position is#I have to drive across country hoping my only form of transportation doesn’t somehow fail me#I have to set up a new life in a new country where I don’t know anyone and I have never lived before#it’s like trying to build a house off the side of a cliff. one wrong move? one really bad day? and I’m toast.#and yeah I signed up for this but it’s because I’M SO TIRED OF WAITING for things to fall into a place that would make this change easier#nothing’s getting easier! everything just keeps getting harder! and no matter how many times I keep beating my head against the wall#hoping I can make things fall into place…nothing seems to change for the better. and I’m sick of it!#they say good things come to those who wait but I’ve been waiting for twenty!! goddamn!! years!! and things are still the same#like standing water it just sits there and festers#I want to stop merely surviving and start LIVING for once#I want to *do* something but I need support and I feel bad asking for it#why is it so hard to make myself believe I’m allowed to take up space? why is it so hard to ask for help??#maybe because I’m worried that I’m not allowed to take up space..and I know that when I ask for help#it’s often met with non-committal sayings and shrugs and ‘well okay. you tell me what you need to do and we’ll figure it out.’#maybe I don’t know what I need to do! maybe I need help figuring that out! it doesn’t help when all I hear is ‘yep. adulting is hard’#LIKE I DIDN’T FUCKEN KNOW THAT. maybe instead of stating the obvious we could FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MOVE FORWARD?!#I’m going absolutely out of my fucken mind
2 notes · View notes
causticsunshine · 1 year
Note
hi!!! i was wondering, when are u going to update your momrry fic?? tsm!!
hi anon!
i’m assuming you haven’t seen the updates i’ve been giving, but: every fic wip i have currently standing will be finished, but due to extenuating circumstances ie having a lot on my plate in several different areas, i cannot give an exact time frame!
very happy to hear you’re enjoying! it’s the first thing on my docket to finish right now, but the second chapter should be done soon 🩷
2 notes · View notes
fractallogic · 2 years
Text
Me, the last person for the question “so what are your plans for the break?” to come around to during lab meeting today: idk it depends on when my mom dies and how much of the ensuing work absolutely needs to be done by me in colorado, because otherwise I’m either staying here or maybe going to see my dad in CA
Everyone else, who has answered various kinds of “staying here/visiting family/etc”: 😨
Me: don’t worry she has brain cancer!! It’s been like this for like seven months now
Everyone else: 😨😨😨
Me: oh yeah no it’s a good thing, it’s a relief honestly, she’s like, very unaware and close to death at this point
Prof, who has known about this since July or so: it does get that way, you know. *waxes philosophical about death and how college is stressful and important, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not THAT important*
Prof: so on that note, I guess I should let you go! Have a good break everyone!! Congrats on finishing the term!!
Me: SORRY GUYS 😬
And then the prof and I had a nice very straightforward talk about how yeah, I don’t entirely know if I have to go, but it would be nice if I didn’t need to, and I’m not her executor but yeah it IS kind of weird that her boyfriend of ~5 years or so is, and hahaha well one of many reasons I’ve been mostly estranged from her are her weird decisions about things
But for real I’m very much looking forward to having some certainty about anything soon. Can’t wait to stop traveling as much. Can’t wait to just like, NOT think about death and brain cancer all the time and go down to my normal volume of calls from family members. Can’t wait to stop thinking about my mom all the gotdam time. I am TIRED let me REST
4 notes · View notes
lyriumsings · 2 years
Text
i’m having angsty lilicaeran thoughts before bed this fine evening my brain just longs to fill in the gaps of when aeran killed the count and thought she was gonna die and the days leading up to when she finally woke up like 😭😭😭
4 notes · View notes
omotelie · 21 days
Text
WHERE’S MY FUKING CAPO
#my post#funny#relatable#guitar#music#bjork#wait you can only have 30 tags the joke is much less funny if i don’t have a fucking wall of the stuff i guess i’ll just make this one reall#and 140 characters per tag this is stifling my creativity meh i was running out of popular tags anyway bjork’s not that popular of a tag tho#tbh i was running out of inspiration after like the 4 tag this joke was not meant to be at least not by my hand and i guess it wasn’t that f#unny either i cooled down real fast on that one you know what i’m pivoting this is no longer popular tags just my train of thought for as lo#ng as i feel like it the first few one might not even make sense when i’m done but who cares not me clearly it is quite annoying how i can’t#use commas tho make’s this harder to read than it needs to any way i lost my capo for like the third time my desk isn’t even that messy but#don’t know where else i would’ve put it it’s not lying on any of my instruments either i probably put it quote somewhere i would remember un#quote but clearly i didn’t i’m usually very good at remembering where i put things put the capo is the zone in between i use this often and#i use this every other year so i never remember where it is stored it is 1 am so i guess i’m going to bed soon anyway but still this is goin#g to annoy me until tomorrow i don’t even need it right i’ve had to remove so many tags the original joke barely makes sense anymore i’m kee#ping bjork tho you can pry her out of my cold dead hands not that i really listen to her music or know her i just like saying her name i’ts#got good mouth feel and it’s fun to spell i didn’t realize how long filling 30 tags would be what’s 140 times 30 let me look it up 4200 this#makes this post my biggest project by like 3000 words the only time i’ve written any meaningful lengths of texts was in college and i’m a dr#opout what 4200 characters not words silly little me makes a lot more sense now that i think about it i’m getting tired of writing so this m#ay end soon i would like to not go to bed at 4 am for a silly little post 2 people are going to read plus i am running out of ideas of thing#s to write i am very much not a writer writing scares me even writing lyrics for songs terrifies me i’ve only manage to write lyrics for one#without getting too self conscious and imploding but i’m better at writing songs with vocals i’ve never had anyone to write music with and w#ithout the ability to sing or write lyrics it’s been difficult the singing has been more or less remedied with synth v but the puter can’t w#rite lyrics for meso until i get a lyricist friend i will have to toughen up you can’t make art without making yourself known to those who c#onsume it but lyrics and poetry has always been 1 step too far for me tbh i’d rather spontaneously combust rather than let people know me i#do not look at my very numerous in stars and time posts and reblogs they are completely unrelated to this don’t think about it oh look behin#d you there’s a distraction oh you’ve missed it i have been writing this for half an hour and i am getting so sick of it i revealed informat#ion about the inner machinations of my mind i have not done this since last time i saw a therapist 5 years ago this is fucked up what a self#impose writing challenge can do to you luckily this is the last tag i’m doing lucky me well this was fun this is going to end suddenly so do
0 notes
eepyjay · 1 month
Text
bough
#I hate spiraling#I managed to stop before it got worse but now I’m just still in a state from the spiraling and I’m just. I’m so tired of thinking I’m dying#everyday it’s so exhausting and the fear is never ending and the worry that maybe I am really dying and I have no idea bc I’m scared to go#to the doctor and then it’s my fault I waited so long etc. and then it’s like if I am what have I even done with my life? what is there to#be proud of or look at and feel fulfilled? atp in my life I have wasted my life I’ve done nothing and I’m rotting away and it’s like if I#found out I was dying it’s like that’s all I got I wasted so much time etc. and I’m just spiraling out tonight man it sucks I hate this I#hate my brain I just want to be fucking normal and not be scared everyday that I’m genuinely dying and it’s my fault and that I’m wasting my#life away not doing so many things I wanted to and like you think well jay shouldn’t that encourage you to live life to the fullest of your#ability? and yeah I’d love to but then my head just thinks all those things again and the cycle repeats and I just am so terrified as soon#as something in my body hurts or something is off etc. because my immediate thought is just its fucking over man and I’m too scared to go#to the doctor about things and I’m just repeating shit now I’m sorry if anyone Ben reads this far I’m obviously having a night#I’m just talking to the wall with this post but it helps me calm down a little I guess#god I need a therapist I stopped looking but I think it’s time I get back on that and quick because I really don’t think I can keep living#this way anymore it is so genuinely exhausting and I dont know how to help myself with it#sorry if anyone gets a peek at this actually. I obviously need help and this is just an outlet for me rn ig
0 notes
insanechayne · 2 months
Text
~ ~ ~
1 note · View note