#I am well qualified to speak on the topic I know

[fairyouth]

WHY is fo4 being bad still a debate literally over half the quests are just AI generated shit from a butt and the other half is just poorly written nonsensical plot twist garbage

[livelaughlovenikeiyomiuri]

Nikei Yomiuri has BPD: the masterpost

So I've been formally requested to make a post on why I believe Nikei has BPD- so strap in, folks, this is gonna be a long one.

I want to preface this with, I am in no way a mental health expert, I am in no way qualified to actually diagnose anyone with anything, but I am a weirdo who likes to read the DSM-5 for kicks who also happens to think about Nikei Yomiuri a lot. Everything I say needs to be taken with a grain of salt, yadda yadda yadda, you know how that all goes.

TW for discussions of sui, CSA and SH. I am not planning to discuss any of these topics in depth (except for the first one, due to just. Nikei being Nikei), but if the topics distress you in any way, I would advise simply not reading this. Look after yourself.

So, firstly, I would like to discuss how BPD develops. Though there are many possible causes, such as genetics, affecting the on-set of BPD symptoms, one of the most common causes is childhood abuse, especially CSA. We currently do not yet know Nikei's backstory and how he was 'saved' by Utsuro, but it is commonly believed that it had to do with CSA. It both explains some of his behaviors- the weird hypersexual tendencies and his extremely negative reaction to being touched by Mikado from behind, for example- and 'fits', so to speak, Void's tendency in everyone there suffering some sort of child abuse. This is mostly to explain how Nikei fits the common parameters of someone in whom BPD could develop.

Now, as for the diagnostic criteria: the DSM-5 dictates there are 9 major symptoms of BPD, and in order to qualify, the patient needs to fulfill at least 5.

Before I go over which of the symptoms he fulfills, I want to start with stating that Nikei is a particularly hard character to get a read on, mostly due to him faking his personality for the greatest majority of the game, and though I do not believe everything about him that we see is 100% fake at all times, it would be presumptuous of me to discern what I personally believe to be real or not. Therefore, I will keep myself limited to:

His actions throughout the game (plus the ones he made from behind the scenes and also what he did before the actual happenings of the game)

Nikei's bouts of anger (which he is shown to be physically unable to control)

Chapter 6's Void Theatre (since Linuj has stated that Nikei was being truthful in it and was thus is 'real self')

Talking about his anger… symptom number 1, "Inappropriate, intense anger that can be difficult to control" and symptom number 2, "Rapidly shifting intense emotional dysregulation". I don't think I need to go too in-depth when talking about how he fits these symptoms. If you have played the game, you know Nikei is shown to turn easily aggressive in ways he seems unable to control. I think the scene that highlights that the most is the one in chapter 4 while everyone is in Nikei's room- right after Mikado leaves. Nikei is unable to calm himself down, and has to cut short the meeting due to his inability to regulate his emotions properly. Honestly, Nikei in the fourth trial could also be used as an example for this.

Symptom number 3, "Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment". The man's gut reaction to Emma, Hajime and Iroha 'leaving' him was to come up with a plan to fuck over the man who took them away from him. It's actually a little hard to express myself in-depth on these first points, because I feel as though it would just be me repeating the game's plot points or just. Describing his character, rather than adding anything new to the discussion… of course, it's also pretty obvious that Nikei has extremely unstable relationships (again, Void), so he fits the fourth symptom as well, "Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships, often characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation, also known as "splitting" ". He doesn't necessarily 'split' on anyone in game, unless you count the fact that he can go from developing a crush on Sora to hating her guts in chapter 4, though in that case, his sudden hatred is more than understandable, considering the context- but I have to stress, it is almost impossible for us to know how Nikei feels about people in general, since most of his relationships are technically developed off-camera. As I am talking about Nikei's relationships, I feel like it would be a disservice to this 'theory' to not bring up this specific answer to a question that Linuj himself gave:

Nikei is not healthy with his interpersonal relationships. While this comment is strictly about romantic relationships, it is not a stretch to say that he gets obsessive about others in general- ergo, his relationships are unstable by definition.

Our fifth symptom is "Markedly disturbed sense of identity and distorted self-image"- one of his most obvious characteristics as a person is his inferiority complex, which feeds into his desire for power. To this, we can also add his struggle with his own self-worth. We don't know why exactly Nikei idolizes his hand as of yet, but it doesn't take an expert to realize that no matter the reason, his obsession with it doesn't exactly give us the impression his self-image is in any way stable.

Theoretically, I could stop here, since to be diagnosed you only need to fulfill 5 symptoms, but I am an overachiever to a fault so I'm gonna go on.

Symptom number 6, "Impulsive or reckless behaviors (e.g., uncontrollable spending, unsafe sex, substance use disorders, reckless driving, binge eating)". Now this might be weird to some of you, since Nikei doesn't really show any of these behaviors in game (again, not counting personal headcanons for this, so even if I do believe Nikei is definitely a reckless driver, I can't exactly say that counts since it is 100% based on vibes) but these are all just examples of reckless behaviors- Nikei has just significantly more personalized ones. Like, say, participating in a killing game of his own free will, or using an actual stun gun on himself rather than just pretending to be unconscious, or randomly changing key details of the plan he made supposedly months prior on the fly (ie adding Teruya to the mix when his spot was originally supposed to be taken by Syobai). Assuming Nikei has BPD actually makes chapter 4 make more sense.

"Recurrent suicidal ideation or self harm"- this is the last symptom I am going to talk about, and the primary reason for the TW at the start. This is probably gonna be somewhat headcanon-y, and if anyone wants to disregard that as such I cannot exactly fault them for it, but hear me out: Nikei's plan counts as a suicide plan. Nikei is not an idiot- he would have known that, no matter how it ended up going, if he failed or not, Nikei was gonna die either way- if his plan worked and Yuki was executed, Mikado would have retaliated and killed him in revenge; if his plan worked and Yuki got away with it, he would have died in the mass execution; and if, how it happened in canon, he failed he would have been killed, too (Mikado may have said that he would have forgiven Nikei if he returned back to Void, but let's be real here- that was a bold faced lie. He was just gloating). This plan would have ended up with him dead no matter what, and he was okay with it- which I don't need to tell you, is not exactly something someone who has never considered suicide before would do.

(Also random thought that I probably wouldn't be able to fit in another post- Nikei's execution itself is fairly odd, in the sense that he was ultimately the one who killed himself. He was the one that ran up the stairs, he was the one that jumped off the building, he was the one that failed to catch the ladder- hell, jumping off a building is a pretty common suicide method. His death is unique in the sense that he brought it all to himself- he was the only executee that wasn't tied down in any way, all his actions were truly his choice. He didn't need to run away from the Monocrows, but he did. He didn't need to go up the stairs instead of down, but he did. He didn't need to jump, but he did.)

The last two symptoms are:

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Transient, stress-related paranoid or severe dissociative symptoms

Which I don't think I can apply to Nikei in good conscience, since it's pretty hard to discern how that man is feeling at all times (other than, well, when he is raging). That would wound up being wayyy too headcanon-y for even me to excuse. Like, do I believe he is depressed? Absolutely. Do I believe he has PTSD? Certainly, but I can't point to any exact action he takes in game and point to it to say that he is 100% depressed. It's mostly just vibes. And again, I don't really need to? I have already given ample evidence as to why I believe Nikei has BPD, even without these last two symptoms.

(I mean, I COULD prove that Nikei has PTSD- if we consider his more than likely sexual trauma and his reaction to him being grabbed by Mikado specifically, someone who he considers to be a threat- that certainly feels like PTSD to me. Even without that, I genuinely doubt anyone that lived through the Tragedy DOESN'T have PTSD. Anyway I am losing track of the post here-)

I don't exactly know how to end this, but yeah! That's about it. Nikei has BPD, thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

[stellerssong]

Hi again. I'm on some level here to ask for a complete explanation of every aspect of Hawaiian culture that is even tangentially related to your latest fic because I know absolutely nothing and there is the ever present concern that the terms run through cursory Google Translate and internet searching will lose nuance and implications. There were definitely some references to divinities and myths and such that went over my unenlightened head. The story you wove was rich and intricate enough to be held in the mind of someone who knows less than nothing and still have great meaning and truth, but I know that it will mean yet more if I can see the threads you used to make it. (On another level, I'm asking for the explanation because I am abruptly deeply interested in a topic I had previously not thought about very much, and you seem to be significantly more of an expert than the average internet search.)

first off! well first off i am blowing you so many kisses for this very kind ask, thank you so much for giving me an excuse to ramble at (great, great, great) length.

so second off! i would just like to stress that i am very much not an expert in hawaiian language, folklore, history, culture, etc. i am neither kānaka maoli (native hawaiian) nor kamaʻāina (born in hawaiʻi although not necessarily of hawaiian ancestry), and i have not studied these topics formally/in a setting that applies academic rigor. i am an enthusiastic amateur with a personal connection to hawaiian culture, the kind of brain that likes to fixate on areas of interest, and a willingness to scrounge around for reading material. i have, i think, a decent sense of what some of the baseline texts in the field are, and a fairly good bullshit detector (and the understanding/ability to dig into things when i can't rely on the bullshit detector), but ultimately i am a layman and an outsider with corresponding perspectives and biases. i also, i will admit frankly, have a pretty sharp knowledge cutoff corresponding to the time of first european contact, just because of my own personal interests and reading preferences.

read that whole disclaimer? let your eyes glaze over while you skimmed it? good! here's my real quick (lmao) rundown of Sum Things U Should Know If You Wanna Close-Read Kīpuka:

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi 101

Good grief when I put it like that I do NOT feel qualified to tell you any of this. Anyway. We can keep it basic just so you can get a sense of the mouthfeel of the words. And just fyi ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi is the proper name of the language; i'll be using "Hawaiian" as the adjective form, sans ʻokina, assuming an English-speaking readership.

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi as it is commonly rendered today has 13 letters: 5 vowels (A, E, I, O, and U) and 7 consonants (H, K, L, M, N, P, W), plus the ʻokina or glottal stop (that little apostrophe-lookin' dude at the beginning of the word ʻokina, also the source of most of my typesetting woes). Pronunciation-wise, there are no silent letters and no though/through/enough-type surprises: every letter is pronounced, and all of the vowel renderings are approximately equivalent to how you'd pronounce them in Spanish or Italian. Hence, the word kuahine = koo-ah-HEE-nay rather than, like, kyoo-ah-highn, which made me feel gross even just typing it out.

The ʻokina is pronounced, and bear with me here, like the dash in the english nuh-uh. or, if you're a try-hard vocalist—reattack the vowel after the ʻokina instead of eliding it to the vowel prior. So the place-name Kaʻū is pronounced ka-OO, as distinct from the word kau which is pronounced more like kow (which is a bit of an oversimplification of the latter word, but I'm trying to be efficient here).

That leads us neatly into the other diacritical marking used in ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, the kahakō or macron which helpfully appears in its own name. No worries here; the kahakō just serves as a stress marker, so you'd say kahakō = ka-ha-KO instead of ka-HA-ko, or from the example above ka-OO rather than KA-oo.

There are a couple of other little pronunciation tricks here and there. The letter W is sometimes pronounced as a V, and unfortunately I can't really describe the rules for that shift; that is one I must admit I know mostly from vibes. For example, the correct pronunciation of Hawaiʻi itself is ha-VAI-ee, but I've never heard the place-name Waimea pronounced as anything but why-MEY-ah.

Occasionally you will encounter the letter K pronounced as a T, which I believe is an artifact of the morphological shift from older related languages such as Tahitian and Samoan which do preserve the letter T as a unique phoneme. To my knowledge, the Kauaʻi dialect (spoken today on Niʻihau) also preserves the T, but most spoken ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi heard elsewhere is based on the Big Island dialect, which lacks the T. One notable exception is the word tūtū (an affectionate/respectful term for a grandparent or elder), which you really don't hear pronounced as kūkū.

Really, though, listening to Hawaiian music is how I got the language in my ear and imo it's the best way to get it in yours. Can't go wrong with Israel Kamakawiwoʻole (of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" fame), but I have a personal soft spot for Kealiʻi Reichel, Weldon Kekauoha, Amy Hanaialiʻi, and the Cazimero Brothers.

The Place-y-ness of Hawaiian Literature

This is more of a sidenote than its own heading, but I'm the one driving the essay, and I think it's an interesting thing to point out, just because it helps establish a particular perspective I wanted to keep in mind while writing this fic.

Something you might notice as you start to look at Hawaiian oli, mele, and myth is the high level of specificity of place. Hawaiʻi is, let's be honest, not that enormous of a place when you consider it on a global scale—but the specificity of localities within Hawaiian literature is kind of astounding. Not only are there loads of place-names referenced in any given work, there are unique Hawaiian names for landmarks, cliffs, peaks, hills, streams, waterfalls—even rains and winds of specific locations merit their own names.

"kīpuka" is very specifically set on the windward side of Hawaiʻi island, so I made an effort to focus my references to place-names on that region—Hilo, ʻŌlaʻa, and Waiākea are all locations on the eastern side of the island, and the one reference to Kona on the leeward side reflects the coming of someone bearing grievances (in addition to eia aʻe ka makani Kona being an existing idiom warning the listener to watch out for an angry person, the windward and leeward sides of Hawaiʻi island have a long history of territorial warfare and jockeying for control of the island). I'd also considered having the bird discussed in the fic be a different species, the kākāwahie—but that species is/was endemic to Molokaʻi, and quite honestly my knowledge of the history and culture of Molokaʻi as a separate polity is not that great.

(This is partly due to sample bias—my introduction to Hawaiʻi was within a Big Island-based context. At the same time, another thing you may notice about the better-known source texts is that many of them center around Hawaiʻi island and, to a lesser extent, Maui, thanks to the political supremacy during the unification/post-contact era of Hawaiʻi island and Maui aliʻi. Ross Cordy wrote a whole ass book about the Oʻahu chiefdoms that is simply not to be had for love or money no matter how I search for it. I am THIS CLOSE to straight up cold emailing the man and being like I WILL VENMO YOU $75 USD DIRECTLY IF YOU WILL SIMPLY JUST SEND ME A COPY OF YOUR BOOK. PLEASE. SAVE ME ROSS CORDY.)

Girl (Gender Neutral), I Cannot Explain Hawaiian Mythology, Poetics, and Mythopoetics As a Subheading in One Post

Honestly. I can't do it. But some tidbits to assist your further research:

A great deal of Hawaiian literature and oral tradition hinges on kaona, roughly "allusion" or "metaphor." In a description that is useful to precisely no one but myself, it's not unlike the complex plays on words, puns, and deep well of references used in Heian Japanese epistolary poetry. Some of it is easy to grok for newbies: for example, the concept of one's lover as a lei adorning the body, or being splashed or sprinkled with water as a euphemism for sex. Some of it goes a lot deeper, relying on historical or folkloric place-name associations, puns, and ancient practices and superstitions.

The Hawaiian "pantheon" I place in scare quotes because ancient Hawaiian religious practices and superstition were highly syncretic, often extremely localized, and more contradictory the more you read into it. In a very, very, very, VERY rough and off-the-cuff sense, though, there were thought to be four major gods: Kāne (associated with dawn, the sun, the sky, running freshwater, and irrigation-based agriculture, among other things), Kanaloa (associated with the ocean, sea creatures, and sometimes death, as an opposing or complimentary force to Kāne), Lono (god of fertility, agriculture with something of an emphasis on dryland agriculture, rainfall, and peace as embodied in the Makahiki festival), and Kū (god of war, the deified kingship, fishermen, sorcery, and quite honestly a ton of other things in various manifestations).

There were also quite a large number of "lesser" gods, the word "lesser" used just in the sense that they weren't honored to the same extent as the four previously named in state-sanctioned religious practice. Probably the most well-known of these is Pele, the volcano goddess. (I reference another in the fic, Niolopua, god of sleep—but the jury's out on whether or not that refers to an actual god or is just metaphorical in the same way that most people think of "the Sandman" as a euphemism for sleep and not a literal guy who comes into your house and puts crusties in your eyes.)

The gods were thought to manifest in a variety of forms, called kino lau (literally "four hundred bodies"). You can think of this in the sense of "Lono takes on the shape of an albatross or a tropicbird to interact with mortals, while Kanaloa prefers to manifest as an octopus," and in stories kino lau are sometimes represented that way, but in practice it's less of a Greek myth-style practice of shapeshifting and more of an animistic religious belief. The kino lau in nature embody the god and in a metaphorical sense illustrate the interconnection between divine and earthly and the presence of the divine on earth.

(HUGE OVERSIMPLIFICATION. HUGE OVERSIMPLIFICATION. PLEASE DO MORE RESEARCH AND DO NOT TAKE ONE TUMBLR POST AT ITS WORD ON THIS.)

The Endless, in the fic, are very easy to loop into the concept of kino lau, because of their canonical universality. Danny appears as a shark (a symbol of chiefhood), a pueo, or Hawaiian owl (an 'aumakua, or ancestral guardian), a manu-o-Kū, or fairy tern (a bird associated with the god Kū, likely in his aspect as a god of fishermen, navigators, and wayfinders), a kalo plant (a staple crop of ancient Hawaiʻi, a kino lau of Kāne, and a symbol of duality and rebirth), and a snowcapped mountain (a sacred site considered kapu, or forbidden, to all but the highest chiefly individuals). Despair, meanwhile, appears as an ʻalae ʻula, or Hawaiian moorhen (another ʻaumakua, but also an animal whose cry was thought to foretell misfortune), a stingray (for her barbed tail), a hāpuʻu fern (in contrast to Dream's kalo, the hāpuʻu was considered a famine food), a lava flow and its first growths (acknowledging Pele as both a destroyer and a creator of land, just as Despair also embodies hope), and a number of other things meant to embody the devastation of Hawaiʻi (rats, feral pigs, and mosquitoes have decimated endemic birds and insects; the kiawe is an invasive plant species that forms dense, thorny, and difficult-to-destroy groves; light pollution affects behavior and migratory patterns of both avian and aquatic species).

All pretty simple, obviously!

Further Resources and Recs

Okay, so, obviously I'm not going to be able to explain every single reference in this fic in a single post, though I obviously tried my damnedest. In lieu of that, I'll offer some useful resources for further reading:

Stephen Trussel's Combined Hawaiian Dictionary is a fantastic resource for vocab that incorporates several major Hawaiian dictionaries in a straightforward (well, as straightforward as this gets) text-based web page. Ulukau also has a searchable interface, which is a little easier to interact with, but I like having the Trussel for reference.

Huapala is everyone's go-to for translations of Hawaiian lyrics. I've linked to it in the endnotes of the fic for readers interested in more on "Ka Ipo Lei Manu," but it's got nearly any ʻauana-style Hawaiian song you please, and if I recall correctly even a few traditional oli. Again, another slightly old-fashioned text-based site—but we all know how to use CMD + F in a page, do we not?

Native Books is awesome if you, like me, prefer reading things in print but would prefer not to feed your dollars into the maw of the Amazon beast. A lot of the lit on Hawaiʻi was printed either a long time ago or in very small releases and is now out-of-print and difficult to find even in libraries, so it rocks that there's an independent bookseller that specializes in getting those works to an audience in hard copy. @ NATIVE BOOKS PLEASE CONSIDER GETTING ROSS CORDY TO RE-PRINT THE RISE AND FALL OF THE OʻAHU KINGDOM THANK YOU SO MUCH. University of Hawaiʻi Press is also a good source for academic texts, although their website is...mm...difficult to navigate, and do be warned that they charge academic press prices.

In terms of who to read, you really can't go wrong with Mary Kawena Pukui, a Native Hawaiian scholar, author, composer, and educator whose work is the backbone of just, a fuckton of writing about Hawaiʻi, both academic and popular. Her book ʻŌlelo Noʻeau: Hawaiian Proverbs and Poetical Sayings is worth at least a skim just to get the feel of the Hawaiian mindset; it also contains a healthy dose of myth, folklore, and history in the explanations of the sayings. Absolutely adorably, I've found two books she edited that I read the absolute FUCK out of as a child available as PDFs through Ulukau: The Water of Kāne and Other Legends of the Hawaiian Islands and Hawaiʻi Island Legends: Pīkoi, Pele, and Others. Definitely worth a quick read if you want more on the myth side of things.

As a non-specialist, I've really enjoyed Patrick Vinton Kirch's writing on precontact Hawaiʻi. For a field archaeologist, his writing is both highly engaging and very respectful of the peoples he studies, and trust me, I do get my back up easily when it comes to white people writing about Other Cultures TM, so I'd posit it means something that he passes my sniff test. A Shark Going Inland is My Chief is a great overview of the history of the Hawaiian chiefdoms from the first settlement of the islands to immediately precontact, and Kuaʻāina Kahiko offers a bit of a closer look at everyday life in a specific locality in the islands (in this case, Kahikinui, Maui).

Kamehameha and His Warrior Kekūhaupiʻo by Stephen Desha (trans. Frances N. Frazier) began its life as a serialized Hawaiian-language history of the rise of Kamehameha I. It's a dense read, and it WILL test your ability to remember who the hell all these people are to its limit—it mostly discusses the lives and times of the major players of the aliʻi class in the late precontact–early postcontact era, and when you remember that a) a hell of a lot of personal names in this tale begin with the letter K and b) the aliʻi class of Hawaiʻi practiced a mindboggling amount of political marriage, consanguineous marriage, and sanctioned adoption between blood relatives, the family trees get real complicated REAL fast. If you can hang on through all that, though, it's an intensely detailed and very vivid portrait of a culture at a tumultuous moment, it gives a great sense of how the Hawaiians viewed themselves and the world, and it's an interesting exercise in the mythologizing of the Kamehameha dynasty.

Okay, So...?

So...if you hung on through all that, god DAMN are you dedicated. Have what is quite possibly my favorite Hawaiian song for your trouble. It is, funnily enough, about a bird.

EDIT: I am retroactively making this post unrebloggable. I'm really, really glad folks have found it interesting and are looking into the resources I shared, but I absolutely do not want this getting passed around as Hawaiian Culture 101. If you want to learn more about Hawaiʻi, I must stress that you should look to a reputable source and not some schmuck on Tumblr rambling about her effortposting fanned fiction.

[johnslittlespoon]

It just makes so much sense that you were writing in 2013, you have the unhinged vibe that the golden fics from that era had.

I'm just here to compliment you really lol, mostly because I am giving a try to write a lil something for the first time and god I can only dream of ever being able to write as good as you. I've been writing poems and music for years now but i find writing actual coherent storys with characters and dialogue so so hard.

I was wondering if you have any tips, or like little rules you follow when you write.

all the love, xxx

🌷

I'M GONNA CRYYYY this was the sweetest thing in the world to wake up to wtf wtf <333 thank you SO much, i really appreciate this wahh my heart :'))) but also you are SILLY. don't compare yourself to others!! if we all did that constantly we'd never get anything written!! there are SO many authors i adore on here that will always have me chasing the "i wish i could write like that" feeling and it's a great motivator but alsooo at the end of the day. you gotta fall in love with your own words and characters and stories <33

and i feel that so much!! we are twinsss, i also started out writing poems and music and then realized i had stories i wanted to tell that wouldn't fit in shorter form, then discovered fanfic in middle school in the early '10s and it was all downhill from there LOL. truly such a golden era tho oh my god. growing up reading the hat fic and borderline illegible wattpad stories was certainly... formative!

yapping ahead vv (i don't have much advice bc i'm still just learning as i go but hopefully some stuff i picked up on can be a bit helpful!)

i have zero method to the madness when writing so it's a relief to know it doesn't come off that way LOL but i do have a few little things that i follow and i always look for them when beta–ing as well! they're pretty small technical things and they're generally up to personal preference, but some of them come from authors i admire and i think they can really take anyone's writing up a notch <3

i don't feel qualified to give advice because i'm just raw–dogging everything lmao i've never taken classes or anything, so take all this yapping with a grain of salt bc it's just what's worked for me!

– i try to use descriptors like "the man" or "the blond" or "his friend" etc sparingly. i wish i could remember the source, but i read a great piece about why it's better to just go with the character's name 99% of the time, and then i went through so many of my works to edit them and i felt so much more confident in my writing afterwards– it made a big difference in readability (imo).

ofc there are exceptions, like if the name of a character is unknown, or if there are too many names being thrown around in one sentence and a "the man" or "the soldier" etc just sits nicer. i definitely still use them occasionally! but it does sometimes put some distance between the reader and the story when those descriptors are used too often instead of names, so it's a good thing to keep an eye out for when it comes to flow. sometimes less or more or whateva ??

– sorta on the topic of less is more, i love challenging myself to show vs tell when i can! whether it's by keeping dialogue short and letting actions speak instead (can add to intimacy/realism– we communicate so much through body language yk), through metaphors (literally how my whole '#john egan is dog coded' fic was born LOL), or describing feelings rather than spelling them out (his heart ached vs he was sad, his pulse raced vs he was scared, you get the gist). you said you've been writing poems so i feel like stuff like that would already probably come easily to you tho! <3

– this guide on ao3 is great for smut writers! whether someone's a beginner or just looking for ways to elevate the filth, i found it really helpful, it's a fun read as well lol. it calls out stereotypes/cliches and teaches you how to reword them, gives lists of slang and reactionary words, do's and don't's, etc. i don't follow everything in it but that's the beauty of writing; we all have things that work for us and things that don't and that's so okay. :-)

– in the same way that artists use references to practice and find their style, you can do that with writing too! i know a lot of writers have a doc or note where they jot down stylistic things they find while reading that they'd like to emanate, or words they want to use, specific phrases, descriptors, etc. if i'm reading a fic and find an auditory descriptor i like, i might take note of it, stuff like that. sorta like a text document version of a pinterest board!

– thesaurus.com is my best friend truly. often going with the 'simplest' version of a word makes for smoothest reading so someone isn't taken out of the story being like wtf does that word mean lol but sometimes things can feel repetitive, or like there just needs to be a little bit more spice; i probs go back and forth btwn my doc and thesaurus a dozen times an hour tbh.

that's all i can think of rn and ik those are pretty basic so i'm sorry about that!! i really do just kinda write what evokes emotions in myself, and then i hit post and hope it translates over to whoever is reading too :') drawing from your own experiences if you can/really sitting with what the characters would be feeling in whatever scenario you're writing is probably the most powerful way to present what you see in your mind.

i have a hard time writing about emotions/things i haven't personally experienced, so i usually stray away from it out of fear of not getting across what i want to, but some people are great at winging it and putting themselves in unfamiliar shoes so!! it's again just personal preference really.

and alsooo be kind to yourself! i'm an anxious wreck every time i post any of my writing, i am very much not confident when posting new fics and i agonize over my docs so much and trash a lot of works, but i know at the end of the day i can't grow or learn if i don't get the words down, and i can't get feedback or gain confidence if i don't post. becoming your own hype man and giving yourself the opportunity to improve is essential <33

sooo much love and best of luck!!! lmk if you end up writing smth, i'd love to read it (◠‿◠✿)

[thewatercolours]

King's Quest Ficlet: "Validation"

Valanice hadn’t made any more forts under the table, so far as Number One knew. But somehow that one night when he’s stumbled across her, hiding under the tablecloth, had changed the conversation between him and the queen. On the plus side, she didn’t seem to be daunted by him anymore, and was willing to ask him to do all the normal things related to his duties as captain. And he in his turn had come to know better what to expect from her, how to anticipate her needs. But on the downside, that night had somehow turned him into a confidant for her creative woes.

Tonight Valanice had asked him to make sure that the backstair door was locked, as she had heard it swinging in the wind last night. But before he could see to it, she turned her back on him to stare out the window and muttered, “Can I gripe at you little?”

Oh, here we go. “Certainly, madam.”

Valanice leaned her head against the side of the casement and said carefully, “Would you ever… well, not you obviously. Let me start again. Do you think it’s all right to make art just so you can make opportunities to interact with others? Well, not just so you can do that. I mean, what if you love art, and you love making it – mostly – but what really pushes you to actually sit down and make it is the fact that other people might, um, say something about it?”

But why had she settled on him, possibly the least qualified person in the castle for such a topic? “You mean, is it acceptable to make art for the praise?”

“Yes. No. More like, you really hope people will enjoy it, and your imaginations will bring you together for a little while. But, um, also yes. They might say something nice, and it’ll be like magical fruit. It’ll just make you come alive, and you’ll remember it during the hard times. So yes, chasing praise, I suppose.” She turned around, crossing her arms and staring up into the rafters as though she believed Number One were hiding somewhere up there instead of standing at attention a few feet away from her. “And yet, not. It’s like a language. Like there are some parts of us that don’t talk unless they’re speaking art. And if other people like to make art too, it’s like making sandcastles on the same beach. Maybe there’s a rightness to it that takes away the selfish side of it? But then again, you don’t want to turn the people in your life into “people I hope will compliment me.” And you don’t want to turn your art to just be something you put out there so people will puff you up with praise.”

Number One cleared his throat. “With all due respect for philosophy, is it possible it’s been winter too long, and your friends have been stuck at home with the flu too long as well?”

She looked appalled, then blushed, then laughed, then went back to frowning. “Possibly.” She said very softly.

“I’ll say it again!” rang the king’s voice from the next room. “Art is about people! People are the best reason to make art!”

Valanice rolled her eyes. “I know, Graham! But making art for people is different than making art for what people will say, and sometimes it’s so hard to tell the difference!” She turned to Number One, as though expecting him to chime in.

“You’ve heard my take, madam,” he said stubbornly. “Winter, flu. Overthinking.”

“People are a good enough reason to do anything!” cried Graham, sticking his head round the corner. “You’ll never have a perfect reason to make art, or start a new project, or go adventuring. So people just has to be a good enough reason, if that’s what you’ve got. Am I right, Number One?”

Enough. “If you’ll excuse me, sire, I have a backstair door to lock, and then I have an urgent call to pay at the Fey bakery.”

Valanice tilted her head to the side. “But they’re closed. They’ve got the flu. If you go there, you’ll catch it!”

“Preferable,” he said. “At least I won’t be expected to discuss philosophy.”

As he exited, he heard Valanice whisper excitedly to Graham, “He did it! He did it! He snarked at me!”

As he gained distance, he could barely hear Graham’s reply. “Told you he’d start warming up to you soon.”

[tricornonthecob]

Dialect notes! Dialect notes! Dialect notes!

Because I missed my calling in academic research, I've spent a non-zero amount of time going down rabbit holes on early North American dialect for Along The Northern Heights. Is it worth doing all this research for a fanfiction of a PBS kids show from 20 years ago? Well it gives me considerable amounts of joy to write, so yes.

Anyway! I want to share a massive infodump, because writing gives me goodfeels and so does sharing! Please let me know if I am inaccurate or wrong about anything. I am not an academic and furthermore I do not want to spread misinformation.

MASSIVE WORD BLOCK UNDER THE CUT

A Pregame With Disclaimers About "Good" English

The history of Modern English is rife with Big Oof moments, and I'm not just talking about The Great Vowel Shift or Noah Webster deciding that the "u" in "colour" was silly. Especially in the late 18th century, there was a push to make accents more uniform and to establish a single "Good" English - and there is so much aggression towards what those scholars considered "Bad" English. And, in my extremely uneducated opinion, it seems like it's a conveniently moving target, just like "whiteness." In the context I'm in when writing, it positively reeks of shitting on any of the world's population groups that aren't Southeastern England. And, being from the United States, I know all too well the absolute shit that's been lobbed at AAVE for not being "Good" English.

This "Good" vs "Bad" way of looking at dialect is reductive, destructive, and boring, and I think it goes without saying I don't condone it in the slightest.

A Further Pregame With Received Pronunciation, or RP

the "generic" British dialect many of us outside the UK think of when we think of a British accent (a shame, I think, because the UK is so dialect-diverse and there are some absolute bangers on that damp island!) There are certainly a myriad of reasons for this, but probably the most common reasons/claims I've heard through my life are

A) 19th-century upper-class British folk wanting to have a more separate dialect from the other classes.

B) associations with the way the Royal Family has spoken English since at least Queen Victoria (a generic reasoning that we see happen along populations: imitating those in power)

C) 20th-century RP became "generic" in a similar way that the broad North American dialect* now associated with the United States and, to some degree, Canada, did - that is, it was further developed and use encouraged as the easiest to understand when recorded and played-back on period audio recording equipment (specifically radio and television.)

*a timeout is to be made here for the so-called Mid-Atlantic dialect at the dawn of "talkies" and early Hollywood. Its the delightful way of talking you'll hear in old black-and-white movies: slightly musical cadence, and combining the broad north american dialect with a bit of the non-rhoticity of RP. This dialect was mostly affectation and as anyone with living American relatives born before 1960 can tell you, mid-20th-century Americans largely did not speak it in normal settings.

Now, all of this is to say, RP as a dialect doesn't really appear until mid-19th century (although it would seem the loss of rhoticity we so associate with RP was a gradual shift starting in the very end of the 18th century.) Furthermore, the ways that we, 21st-century denizens, know RP don't come into their own until the 20th century and proliferation of audio-based mass media.

On to My Actual Point : 18th Century American Dialect (non-AAVE)*

*I make this distinction because the history of AAVE is a massive topic all on its own and I feel even less qualified to speak on it

It can't be ignored that the base strata making up Anglo-American speech patterns would have been as varied as where the original settlers/invaders came from, nor can it be ignored that the American Colonies were made up of more than just Anglo-Saxon descendants. Even back then, they were a mosaic of cultural interaction, which is why Thomas Paine declared America (at least the white part) a European, and not British, culture.

That being said, multiple primary sources indicate that the dialect of Anglo-Americans at the late 18th/very early 19th century was similar to "well-bred" Londoner dialect of the time (assuming there's enough of a distinction here from broad Southeastern UK,) and that this particular dialect was broadly spoken with less regional variance than the family of dialects in the UK.

This is made clear in vol 3 of Timothy Dwight's Travels in New-England and New-York, a collection of letters sent to colleagues in England:

"I shall not, I believe, offend against either truth or propriety if I say, that the English language is in this country pronounced more correctly than in England. I am not, indeed, sanguine enough to expect, that you will credit the assertion, nor that you will believe me to be a competent judge of the subject. Still I am satisfied that the assertion is true. That you may not mistake my meaning, I observe, that by a correct pronunciation I intend that of London; and, if you please, that of well-bred people in London."

(Dwight, Timothy. Travels in New-England and New-York vol 3 p 265)

Now in context he is only speaking of the New England region, and he does make a disclaimer here that he's not "a competent judge" of the subject, and we are certainly ignoring his hope that he won't be cited on the matter. But, his observation holds true from other primary accounts, especially William Eddis' Letters From America, which are composed of his observations (mostly of Maryland gentry) from 1769 to 1777. (His letters also happen to be an invaluable primary source for observations on culture and political commentary on the rising crisis between the colonies and Britain, from the perspective of a loyal well-to-do British subject.)

On the uniformity of language, Eddis has this to say:

"In England, almost every county is distinguished by a peculiar dialect; even different habits, and different modes of thinking, evidently discriminate inhabitants, whose local situation is not far remote; but in Maryland, and throughout the adjacent provinces, it is worthy of observation, that a striking similarity of speech universally prevails; and it is strictly true, that the pronounciation of the generality of the people has an accuracy and elegance, that cannot fail of gratifying the most judicious ear."

(Eddis, William. Letters from America, Historical and Descriptive. p 59)

if the odd comma placements are making it hard to read, you're not alone. 18th century writing is choc-full of what we might today consider run-on sentences, comma splices, or just generally cumbersome. Here's me paraphrasing as best I can:

"In England, almost every county has its own dialect, habits, and modes of thinking, noticeably different inhabitants that don't live very far from each other; but in Maryland and adjacent provinces, there is a notable similarity of speech, and its absolutely true that the generalized accent/pronunciation has an accuracy and elegance that won't fail to gratify a discerning ear."

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All this background I'm giving comes to this point: late 18th-century "well-bred" Londoner is the dialect I have chosen to loosely base what I write in Along The Northern Heights. I listen to alot of Simon Roper's work on youtube regarding the topic. I would say these two are probably the most valuable videos on the accent.

He makes disclaimers about not being formally qualified to speak on linguistics, and I would be remiss to not pass along those disclaimers.

That being said, what's in my mind is pastiche of that, the local "country" (read: appalachian) dialect in rural Virginia, the dialect work used in Turn:Washington's Spies and HBO John Adams, as well as some of the dialect you hear in PBS Masterpeice's Poldark, and various media I've watched/read from Living History re-enactors about reconstructing dialect.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Since I've made it a headcanon feature that James Hiller has a bit of a brogue that he feels pressured to correct, but slips into when he is excited or upset, I'd like to dig more into less-"proper" dialects of the time, and, if possible, the less-proper Philly accent. For shits and giggles, here's what I suspect is a dramatization of a modern-day Philly accent:

And then a very similar, a very real Baltimore Baldmer accent:

Honestly? Hearing both of these warms the cockles of my heart, because my late grandparents (especially grandma. *Especially* grandma) spoke with a Baltimore accent, which has similarities with the Philly accent. My aunts and uncles all speak it; its been normalized and blended with a virginia rural accent in mine (I say wadder, my grandma said wooder. I say toosdaye, my grandma said toosdee. I say ahn, grandma said ooowan. I say y'all, grandma said all youse/all you. I say "d'jeet," she said d'jeet, and you can pull d'jeet from my cold dead hands.)

In addition, you have the modern-day "High Tide" dialect of Okracoke, the Carolina Brogue.

trouble with Carolina Brouge, which is disappearing, is that its got too much modern-day southeastern drawl to really use as a basis for an 18th century Philly boy. Though it does seem like drawing out the "A" in water into wooder/woader is a commonality.

Anyway. That's been my infodump. I spent too long on this!

[sprout-fics]

I apologize if this is not the correct place to ask; my intention is not to overwhelm you, but you seem very well-versed in this— I am not as educated about this situation in Palestine and Gaza as I would like to be. I want to help, however I can, and I know that first starts with properly understanding what is going on. Unfortunately I live in Texas and almost all of the media I find when I search for information on it is very Israel-centered and very much paints Palestinians as the aggressors— which I know is not the case. It’s nearly impossible for me to find information from Palestinians themselves, or information that isn’t propaganda. I was wondering if you had any good, unbiased sources that overview most of the situation and can help me understand better. I was also wondering if you knew which reputable places to donate, to aid Palestinians.

Again, I apologize if this is not the right place to ask. I know that this can all be very overwhelming and scary, my intention is not to put that kind of pressure on you; I also recognize it’s not your duty to educate me, or anyone else. You seem very knowledgeable on the topic and I want to help, and as it stands it seems like information is being filtered online, so I thought I’d ask. But please, please, do not feel pressured to push yourself to answer this, if you need a break from doomscrolling I understand.

Thank you for asking so politely and out of great concern anon. Truth me told I'm not as versed in this as I would like to be. I study foreign policy within my master's degree, and despite being constantly educated I still feel as if I do not have a full grasp on the entirety of this story. I also do not feel entirely qualified to speak on this topic as I am not Palestinian, and merely trying to promote the voices who are and are more directly affected by this conflict. In terms of news, I've closely been following updates from Al-Jazeera correspondents in Gaza as they come in, praying that they are safe amidst the communications blackout to tell us the story that is going on.

My main @thotmachinebroke has many posts about this situation. I'm trying to keep the posts here on sprout-fics to resource lists and such, as I'm trying to establish a line between my writing outlet and any advocacy of current events.

I want to extend my gratitude for you trying to educate yourself. That is so so incredibly important right now. Being educated and speaking up is the least we can do. Thank you

[scourgiez]

more headcanons for Analelle and Lithuryn (my version of Astarion’s parents) and elf stuff. I see alot of different opinions about elf ages and elf culture so I thought I’d throw my headcanons on the pot because… well. I love elves and want to expand Analelle and Lithuryn’s characters.

I’m not a huge DND elf expert so if I get something wildly wrong or it contradicts with canon, let me know, but because I’m addicted to researching every little thing I come across i hope I’m good ahaha

Alight, I’ll start with ages because that’s a hot topic! in the fandom regarding Astarion. Very heated debate which I don’t understand because I think it just depends on personal opinion, but that’s for another day. In my opinion, no, age 100 is not the same as a human turning 18. Elves age the same way humans do until they are in their late 20's or so then start slowing down biologically. Their "age of maturity" being 100 is more about their wisdom and life experience finally being enough for another elf to consider them "mature".

Biologically, elves mature a Liiiiittle slower just due to them living so long, but it’s not drastic enough that they are considered a “child “ until they are 100 years old. For example, if a human is an adult around 18-20, an elf is an adult around 23-25. This goes for both elven and elf/human communities, unless the elf is raised by humans in which case they will be raised in human culture, but I’m assuming most human parents raising an elf child are going to be scouring the libraries anyway trying to find out why their adopted toddler doesn’t sleep. Half elves are different obviously but it would probably be the same as a human.

Within elven communities, age of consent is probably raised to 23 or 25. However, socially and culturally, age 100 is when normal elves tend to “settle down” so to speak, and is a coming of age celebration (even if they are already biologically adults, again this "maturity" is more about life experience). I assume even elven families living within human communities keep those cultural traditions of large, week long parties and celebrations when an elf turns 100. Older elves probably refer to elves under 100 as “kid” the same way people 60+ refer to people in their 20’s as “kid”.

By “settle down”, I mean beginning to get married and have children. Again, this all has to do with living for so long, and family/children being a huge part of elven culture, especially because elves (or at least high elves, wood elves i think have a higher fertility chance) have a difficult time getting pregnant and may only have one child. Elves tend to want to experience life and become more worldly before they have a child or get married, because afterwards family becomes more important than themselves. This isn’t exactly biologically hardwired (though high elves having a low fertility rate is) but there is probably a huge stigma around divorce or broken families in elven communities for this reason.

What does this mean for Astarion and his family? Astarion’s age is also a point of debate, but if we are going by him being in his mid 30’s when he died, he would probably the human equivalent of ...29? No real difference, he would be considered a young adult. However, because he is below 100, he hadn’t settled down and still had many different options on how to live his life if he didn’t enjoy the magistrate route (in my headcanon for his parents, I mention they landed him that job even though he was under qualified, so he would probably be sticking with it. Just sticking with one isn’t uncommon for elves either). I am sure there are certain cultural practices he missed out on for his 100th birthday such as the name change (old elven tradition I imagine some families have done away with) and maybe some family heirlooms getting passed down to him. This is why Astarion was never married or had kids, and possibly wasn’t even dating anyone seriously. Elves during this time would mainly just. well I can only describe it as an xp grind lmfao Before settling down and having a family (if they choose) and devoting your time to them.

However: an elf dying before the age of 100 is just extremely odd. One, I think murder is extremely uncommon in elf communities. These guys reincarnate and murder would just…. be pointless. Analelle and Lithuryn both grew up in the elven community of Evereska, and an elf dying under 100 because of murder was a concept completely impossible to them. like they straight up didn't think it could ever happen.

Last thing that doesn’t have anything to do with the Ancunin’s, and that’s the differences between high and wood elves, as well as things like sun and moon sub races. Basically, it’s that 90% of the time, if you take them from their home and dress them the in the same clothes, a non elf is not going to tell the difference between a high elf and a wood elf. Wood and high elves are culturally different from living in two different places, and as for physical characteristics wood elves have warm skin tones and high elves have cool skin tones. As for things like moon/star/sun elves, the differences are extremely specific and probably unnoticeable unless you are an elf expert or an elf yourself. (we know it as eye color and hair color differences and some personality differences but id like to think its wayyy more subtle than that). There are very slight differences that elves can tell like a 6th sense lol.

One last thing because this is already too long, and that's that there's not really accents when it comes to elvish. There are certain phrases that wood elves probably use that high elves don't know wtf they are talking about and maybe some cultural practices that are slightly different, but there is barely any accent difference between the two. Elvish is a mysterious and beautiful language that breaks some rules every now and then.

[the-a-archives]

How A Would Become A Vampire, Why? : An Essay

Dante and Virgil in Hell (1850)

I would like to note that this essay topic choked me in my sleep and I have been writing it ever since.

When it comes to vampires, I wouldn’t say I’m technically the most well versed in it. However, I have seen Twilight a handful of times and did indulge in My Babysitter’s A Vampire as a child, so I feel very qualified to speak about this.

Through my blind qualifications, I have indeed thought about the blood consumption the most. And it’s been a rather daunting thing to think about because in reality, there is no legally possible was for me to test this as a human in this society. But I have bit my tongue a handful of times, and the blood I’ve tasted from that is ENTIRELY too metallic for my pleasure and it is bound to make me queasy (like every other human) if I consumed mass amounts of it.

But then this begs another question, would I even taste it as a vampire?

When a vampire bites someone, it is assumed that the fangs puncture, and work like straws. At least, I assume that. So then, with that being said, unlike any other species— where I might need to rip a human to shreds to eat them, and in return, taste a lot of blood— as a vampire, I wouldn’t need to worry too much about that. Because while yes, some might catch my tongue, I am here to ASSUME that my fangs will do all the work. (I will assume these holes will be equivalent to that of a Gaboon viper for example)

“But A, you’re a human right now, how will you even turn into a vampire?”

I’m so glad you asked. Assumed that the people who have reported vampire sightings AREN’T lying, I have a good amount of places I can try to visit. However, I am based in the United States and a lot of the sightings of vampires have happened on the COMPLETE other side of the country. So travel fair will have to come into account, but since I am on a trip to becoming the most badass immortal monster known to man, money shouldn’t be an issue since these are very mortal issues.

For example, during my research I found that someone had sighted vampires in New Orleans. Now assuming that this is fact, I would have to book a flight to New Orleans ASAP, maybe Vampires travel, I would have to find them immediately.

Now, I can risk my mortal life on Spirit Airlines and take a 3hr and 33m flight for only $161. But, what if I die? What if the plane crashes before I get to become an immortal? Unacceptable, if you ask me. So we’re just gonna have to work a little harder, and gather up the cold, hard cash for the averaging $346 flight with United or something. Even though those flights take longer. Upwards of 6 hrs.

Landing in New Orleans, time is money. Literally. I’m still human, I need to eat, shit, sleep, breathe, etc. We’re trying to NOT have to do… the latter that is implied here. I could, at this point, contact the person who sighted this vampire and ask where… but then that’ll make me look like a creep or give away what I’m trying to do. And we can’t have either of that kind of slander here, so we’ll just do it the harder way.

If you’re cultured, then you’ve seen Disney’s ‘Princess And The Frog’ and know that there’s always shady individuals lurking in the shadows. Or vampires! Praying that the shadow-man doesn’t snatch me from the depths of the alleyways, the best case scenario would be that I run into a vampire by the second night there. So we’ll run with the best case scenario and say that I do.

“A, that’s great and all but what the hell are you going to give an out-and-about vampire you run into in the middle of the night?”

Jewelry, of course! And, knowing that vampires can’t be around silver, I would give over my gold-platted Protector St. Christopher necklace that I have obtained from a local cathedral. They’re vampires, not demons, they’ll love it. And gold will always complement nice, glistening skin. And in hopes that they take my offering, I would then gladly propose my idea. And PRAY they accept.

They accept, after I bug them with the word ‘please’ for 28 minutes. And they bite my wrist, because my neck is extremely too sensitive and I might pull their head off their body, if they do, with one of the most diabolical uppercuts of the century. And bada-bing-bada-boom, I’m a vampire.

A quick google search of ‘Vampire Powers’ tells me that vampires have the following:

Immortality

(Extra) senses

Regeneration

Super durability (though I’m 1 apple tall, use this sparingly)

Telekinesis

Flight/Scaling Walls/Parkour GOD

Enhanced Anticipation (I already anticipate all there is to anticipate, I don’t know how much more I could handle)

(Extra) speed (height might cause me to roadrunner into a wall)

Blood empowerment

Drain power

Sharp fingernails (might cut them, I hate having long nails)

(Extra) strength

Venom (spitting-cobra core)

Despite me being the height of the Barbie doll and/or the fake guillotine your parents bought you as a child, I believe I can do substantially well with these powers. And that is what I’m going to close this essay off with.

First off, the flight/wall scaling is a no brainer. Have you seen those people in Twilight fly? And how tall they are? Yeah, I’d launch. I’m also a big biter as a human, the science behind it? I’m not sure. So me accidentally feeding off people I care about might be a problem, but hey, it’d be with affection. And I’d never go hungry. I’m also not sure why, but when I think of super speed I think of “RELEASE THE BABY!” from The Croods (2013). And if I can be as fast as that baby? Unstoppable.

I also, mildly, almost dress the part. If you add red accents to what I already wear, I’d fit right in.

Thank you for your time,

A.

[stellaeviventem]

Very sorry to come into your ask box with this (you give off a nice welcoming vibe for the whole 🍉 thing) but I look at her toyhouse since you mentioned it and is her depictions of Pastel with adhd, schizophrenia and autism depicted well? Only asking since you seem to know a lot about those things!

idk if i'm bein a little bit dummy brain right now but i THINK i know what you're trying to ask me LMFAO

let me see if i can get it right

i won't be speaking about schizophrenia in a first person point of view, since i am not diagnosed with schizophrenia and i don't show symptoms as far as i am aware. however i am fully diagnosed with adhd since 2010 and am in the process of getting verifiably diagnosed with autism as of 2023 - i have thought i have had autism since about 2020.

schizophrenia

as far as i am aware, the only signs that pastel has 'schizophrenia' is the fact that she has a demon in her head and a little version of her behind a wall in her head. that's not schizophrenia, and is in fact a very gross stereotype and misrepresentation of schizophrenia in and of itself.

looking at this from a story point of view and giving mel the benefit of the doubt, i understand why she made pastel 'schizophrenic'. a false diagnosis like that makes sense considering what pastel was going through with 3. however, she needs to make the distinction somewhere that this is a false diagnosis because pastel's doctors don't know about what's going on with 3 and they don't understand it.

schizophrenia is not just 'haha im hearing voices and hallucinating teehee!!'. it's so SO much more than that. and even doing a surface level amount of research on the topic shows that because THIS is what pops up on google;

2. autism & adhd

as someone who is going to be diagnosed with autism and has been diagnosed with adhd, literally where is it. where's the autism? where's the adhd! the only autistic traits i can get from pastel is her thousand yard stare and even that can be chocked up to her disassociation. mei shows more autism symptoms than pastel by stimming and shit.

she consistently doesn't know what she's talking about with adhd. adhd is not just 'oh someone's hyperactive and good at stuff'! you clearly do NOT understand the amount of fucking turmoil i went through as a child with adhd trying to make it through primary school without making a fool out of myself.

i'm not here to speculate about what mental illnesses mel has, because it's been done to death already. but what i'm trying to say here is that if she truly has everything she claims she does, she should be better at representing it, not giving a singular google-search's worth of traits to her shitty characters just to get mental illness points.

mental illnesses as a whole are a slippery slope, especially if you don't have the mental illness you're portraying and/or don't have friends who have that illness. research is important. and no, a google search and clicking the first result is not enough and it never will be.

what i personally do is pretend like i'm writing an essay on the mental illness i'm portraying. i get at least 3 confirmed resources and most of all, i LISTEN to the people who have been diagnosed with those illnesses. that's what works for me, personally, so it won't work for everyone. but it's better than a shitty google search.

i think i only scratched the surface since there's people much more qualified than me to talk about this, but thank you for asking my opinion on it. i'm glad i've made my platform so welcoming for people unfortunately involved in the whole situation.

[rainbowsky]

Hello Rainbowsky!!

You get many asks every day. Antis will tell BJYX is not real while sometimes turtles who are confused may give you different reasons why they think BJYX may not be real. And sometimes turtles who leave the fandom give you reasons why they are leaving the fandom. Still, you have 100% faith that BJYX is real. And by your answers I can see that whatever may happen in the fandom you never loose your confidence on BJYX. For this I want to salute you.

I am a person who easily believes in other people’s words. And on top of that I am a pessimist. Thus, this quality of yours really amazes me.

I want to ask how do you keep your confidence so strong?

Hi Anon! 😊

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I have to salute you, Anon, because you seem to have picked up on something that maybe not a lot of my readers would necessarily be very conscious of: I'm constantly buried under a pile of other people's doubts, worries and disdain.

I get an extreme volume of nay-saying, questioning, picking apart, attempts to dismantle and debunk, anti messages, hate messages, panic about doubts, grief over theorized breakups, attempted gotcha messages about other CP material that 'proves' they are with someone else, entire lists and catalogs of why people don't believe, etc etc etc. You name it, I see it.

It's funny because I don't think there are many turtles who could read the things that I read every day and still be turtles 😅.

You said of yourself that, "I am a person who easily believes in other people's words." Are you sure it's not, "I am a person who easily believes in other people's negative, cynical words"? Because there are a lot of turtles out there saying positive things, and talking about GG and DD as being in love, etc. and I'm not getting the sense you're deeply attached to their words.

But I can answer your question (and the answer is relevant to that statement of yours) - how do I keep my confidence? Easy:

Everything I believe comes from me, not from other people.

Everything I take in goes through my own internal process of critical thinking, questioning, evaluating, examining, investigation, etc. etc. etc. I think for myself. I make up my own mind based on the evidence I am able to find. I make a genuine, dedicated effort to learn everything I can about a topic and then draw my own conclusions.

This is true of how I decide what is the best brand of pasta, which documentary I want to watch tonight and which mattress will give me the best sleep, every bit as much as how I decide how I feel about capital punishment, who I think will be the best political candidate, and what my spiritual beliefs are.

When you think for yourself, you'll never fall prey to other people's thoughts. You will know where you stand because you arrived at that point through a thorough, rigorous, good-faith process.

I don't know how other people arrive at their ideas, but I get the sense that a LOT of people arrive at their ideas not through the available evidence or a rigorous querying of the subject, but rather through a quick impression of the tone and perceived status of the person speaking to them - and also based on some weird psychosocial calculus about which option it would be more embarrassing to be wrong about.

The thinking seems to go like, "If the person seems really certain of what they're saying, and if I feel socially intimidated by the person and my perception of how authoritative they seem to be (they seem to know more than me), and if I don't want to be seen as someone who would foolishly believe _____ if it turns out to be false, then..." and that's just 5,000 flavors of wrong.

Do your own thinking. No one out there is more qualified than you to evaluate what's best for you to believe and participate in.

Question everyone and everything - including me. Dig into critical thinking, logical fallacies and intellectual self-defense. Learn how to be an independent mind. It will serve you well throughout your life.

As for GG and DD and the fandom (apologies to those who've heard me say this a thousand times): SZD or not shouldn't matter. Just enjoy GG and DD, enjoy their projects, enjoy being a fan and learning more about them, and if SZD comes to you someday that's fine. If it never does, that's fine too.

There is no obligation to believe SZD in order to be a turtle or to enjoy being a fan. In fact, those who get overly invested in whether GG and DD are a real couple only make themselves miserable.

[stellerssong]

2, and, cheatingly, 17

2—do you read/reread your own fics?

yes, to a frankly embarrassing extent. in my defense, who is describing werewolves like i am (no one, thank god, everyone mutters under their breath). not in my defense…idk. i put them out there so someone would read them. and dare i posit, i am someone.

17—what’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

frankly i’m a little annoyed that there’s really no reason for me to talk about the cultural interplay between Salishan-speaking and Sahaptin-speaking populations in the Cascade ranges pre-colonization in what is technically a crossover songfic about two white boys bitching at each other, but also maybe that’s a good thing because i am certainly not qualified to speak on that topic in any way [brandishes library card threateningly with a manic gleam in my eye] YET. WHO’S GOT RECOMMENDATIONS FOR READING ABOUT THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLES OF WASHINGTON STATE. I AM NOT JOKING.

i also know probably an uncomfortable amount about the, uh, anatomy and behaviors of a small handful of specific animals, considering the fact that i do zero work in the field of zoology. i would say “don’t worry about it” but. well.

[megamindmegatron]

Not All Heroes Need Capes

Pairing: Future Pro Hero Katsuki Bakugou x Fem reader

genre: Hero AU, Fluff, Romance, Angst

Chapter count : Chapter 1

Series Summary : When the number 2 Hero Dynamight ( Katsuki bakugou) gets into a serous injury that will lead him to do physiotherapy with a student in training yet very qualified he will learn more about himself and experience of patience, motivation, starting from zero back to a hundred and even love but the biggest lesson he will learn is what makes him the number 2 hero and soon realize not all heroes need capes.

Content warnings : Nothing major in this. I want to specify all the information I get about physiotherapy will be from google I will do my best to research on this topic. There will be spoilers from the manga in the future, I will put a warning when I do

“DYNAMIGHT!” There was his name being yelled out over and over and while he could hear a familiar voice from his friend he couldn’t reply he felt too paralyzed to speak or even move. He  could feel his body hurting especially his legs going numb from the big boulder sitting right on top of it, how he even managed to get in this situation was beyond him everything happened so fast, first the once well built building starting to collapse from a villain attack Bakugou was instructed to get all the people out safely which he succeeded at doing however he didn’t calculate the enough time he would have for himself to get out before it all went crashing down on him leaving him to lay helpless while he waited for the rescuers to come and get him.

“This just in Pro Hero Dynamight under serious injuries prior to yesterday’s rescuing, the hero was said to be brought into the closest hero hospital where he will be treated there are speculations that Mr Dynamight will need a temporary leave from his fatal injury on the legs his agency came out just this morning announcing that the hero is now slowly in stable condition however will undergo a break for a few months. The citizens of Japan are worried about the young number 2 hero going on a break on how it will impact on their city, i’m your reporter for today signing out”

The sound from the hospital’s television slowly made Bakugou flutter his eyes open; they immediately shut after the harsh light heating the pupils, the blonde groaning finally being able to adjust to his environment last night's accidents quickly flowing back into his brain. “Good you’re awake” sighed in relief from the said person Bakugou tilted his head carefully looking to his side to find Kirishima who was smiling lightly “How bad of a condition am I in?” He was always sharp figured Kirishima he let out yet another sigh this time discouraged “ The nurses with healing quirks managed to heal as much broken bones as possible however your legs….”Kirishima drifted not knowing how to tell Bakugou the hard news “Just come right out and say it” growled Bakugou tiredly “ You need physiotherapy” he spoke quickly seating quite right after, Bakugou quirked a brow? “That’s it” he chuckled before Kirishima shook his head “ I don’t think you understand, you need to start from zero this time, the commission declared you on a six month leave” Bakugou’s eyes widened “No” he said as Kirishima sighed for the third time that day “ i’m really sorry Bakugou” the blonde only shook his head not believing all of  this surely it was a messed up joke that Kaminari had convinced Kirishima into right?

However it wasn’t not when the doctor came in with the x-ray and started explaining how his legs were so broken he ended up getting an emergency surgery last night, it wasn’t a joke when they assigned him his physiotherapy schedule for the next few months. Although the doctors tried reassuring him by telling him it depended on the individual's progress they were certain he would be back in shape by twelve weeks but even then that seemed long. Ever since Bakugou debuted as a hero he rarely took months off let alone days how was he going to last for six months of no hero work. “ We will keep you here in the hospital for at least five days before we let you discharged, your physio will be starting tomorrow by 1pm at least two or three times a week each session will take about 30 minutes so in the beginning we don’t want the healing process to be rushed” Bakugou listened carefully to the doctor as he sighed “ well very well then I shall be leaving I’ll comeback to check on you later in the evening” the doctor bowed as he left Kirishima thanking him as he closed the room door turning back to Bakugou “ I’ll visit you as much as I can with your favorite foods and books along anything you’ll need” Bagou tried to smile at  his friend but failed “ Thanks Kiri” 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿

The next day Kirishima did just as he said he would, he brought Bakugou’s favorite books,food, laptop and clothes for the day that Bakugou would get discharged. Bakugou was grateful for the man trying to make this situation as bearable as possible. He stayed an hour with him before he had to go on patrol for the next few hours of the morning he checked his phone he was thankful he was able to have two phones one for personal use and the other for work situations, the work phone was all cracked from the incident but he knew the commission would get him a new one it covered his insurance. While  checking on his personal phone he replied to his worried friends even to Deku  who was freaking out about all this situation, for his mental health Bakugou tried to ignore the news as much as possible.

By 1pm a middle aged nurse helped him into his wheelchair as they pushed him out the room and towards the hallways into the physiotherapy department. “ Your physiotherapist is going to be really good, she’s still in training however we ourselves were surprised by how well she was helping others get back on their feet so well at her age” Bakugou didn’t know if he should’ve felt more reassured or nervous sure they wouldn’t just let anyone work as a specialist however the fact that she was still a training student didn’t seat well with him. 

As we was let into the room Bakugou noticed the girl his age, she was smiling kindly at him before turning to the nurse “Thank Marie I’ll take it from here” she waved at the said nurse before turning to Bakugou “ well you must be Dynamight i’m Y/N” She reached her hand out to the blonde as he took it shaking it from here on out Bakugou was filled to the brim of motivation on getting better and returning back from his leave as early as possible but also from here on out Bakugou would realize not all heroes need capes.

[exilley]

hi, i saw your post about the analysis of japanese media through a japanese cultural lense, and i was wondering if you had any tips on doing it when you don’t know how to speak/read japanese ? like, what people/essays/books were there on the subject, tips on researching it yourself, stuff like that. it’s also one of my pet peeves, but as i don’t speak the language and none of my friends are into anime/manga/japanese media i don’t know how to go about it

I’ll be so honest with you right now anon because the secret to good media literacy isn’t the propensity to conduct extensive and empirical research nor is it the ability to analyze media through theoretical lenses. It’s just having some baseline cultural awareness and working to ensure your innate biases do not skew the contents of a text or story, and having the willingness to do cursory look-ups of the perspectives and messaging present within them. You CAN read more deeply into the literature and discourse surrounding a fandom, history of a franchise/work, etc. but it’s for naught if you can’t grasp the fundamental concept of art being art, with several political dimensions and authorial intent constricting the themes and perspectives of their creation. I didn’t word it very well because I wasn’t expecting the post to get more than a dozen notes, but I didn’t literally mean for people who view anime/manga to start digging into academia; I was thinking more along the lines of “wow I wish people questioned the aesthetics and themes of Japanese animation from this specific decade a bit more instead of taking it at face value and do nothing more than make jokes about it”. Because as with all human creation fiction is a construct that reflects the larger culture of a society.

The other thing is that you’re asking an incredibly broad question that I, a senior in highschool, am not in the slightest qualified to answer. I’m not an authority on Japanese history or language or anything. One tip I DO have about researching topics that aren’t as available in a language you’re fluent in is to start somewhere like your local library and ask the librarians if they have any books on x subject. You have things like 12ft Ladder and internet repositories of pdfs online, but I find it’s overwhelming to sift through if you don’t already have an extremely clear idea of what you’re looking for (which, in this case, you don’t). So that’s my personal recommendation. Have a great day 👍

[cu-taibhseil]

Western Magic & Prairie Folklore Part One: Geography, Weather, & Farming

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attribution to the Wyoming Bureau of Land Management's website

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Western Magic & Prairie Folklore Masterpost

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For those of you who don't know me, slàinte mhath! My name is Reggie and I'm a folk magic practitioner. This is the first post of many I'm going to do on the very specific kind of folk magic that traveled West with the pioneers in the 1800s and developed with the settlers and cowboys in the "Equality State."

Fun fact: Wyoming is called the "Equality State" because on December 10, 1869, Wyoming passed the first unconditional law in the U.S. permanently guaranteeing women their inherent right to vote and hold office.

Out of everyone on Tumblr, why am I qualified to speak on this topic? Well, I was born and raised for 23 years in Wyoming. I am from a family of people who were all born, raised, and lived their entire lives in Wyoming. (Specifically the Bear Lake Valley of Wyoming and Idaho, and that little corner of Utah where all 3 touch.)

If you're a prairie folk magic practitioner and would like to participate in this post series, then feel free to send me an ask!

Otherwise, let's get to it.

This first post is a little taste of history and kind of setting the scene to discuss the culture and life of different "folk practitioners" in Wyoming. Be sure to check out the other posts in this series! I linked the masterpost at the top of this post!

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Geography

Wyoming has 5 different classifications on the Köppen Climate Classification Scale: BSk, Dfb, BWk, Dfc, and Dfa. A majority of the state is dominated by BSk or a "cold, semi-arid climate." (source) The type of climate that dominates the state is important to remember, because the geography of the area had a huge influence on jobs, people's routines throughout the year, how and when they grew and stored food, and the different plants that were available as medicine.

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Weather/Climate and Farming

Because of the eclectic climate in Wyoming, the typical growing season is only between 20 and 130 days long. (source) At its best it's dry and too hot, and at its worst it's unpredictably cold. I have distinct memories of winter some years lasting from Labor Day weekend (the weekend of the first big snowstorm every year) to the last day of school in June. Doesn't sound like the best climate to be sustainably growing food year round, does it?

To combat that issue, people in the Wyoming Territory learned to "dryland farm" without extensive irrigation systems. It's said the first successful cases of dryland farming came from Swedish settlers near Pine Bluffs in Laramie County. But by the late 1800s, it had grown in popularity across the state. Now that there are irrigation systems in place, people take advantage of the fertile river bottoms and grow sugarbeets, dry edible beans, barley, corn, and dryland winter wheat. Some farmers even grow oats and sunflowers. The people of Wyoming have gotten so good at farming that "Our pasture and hay are regarded as the highest quality anywhere. Wyoming hay is known for high protein, leafiness, and excellent feed value and is shipped throughout the United States and the world for horse and dairy feed." (source)

With such famous hay, of course people cattle-farmed in the area! There are multiple stories told about how the cattle industry really took hold in the state, and they all try to frame it as an accident. Different cattle farmers left their cattle for the winter near Chugwater, WY (just North of Cheyenne; famous for its chili) and were surprised to find thriving beef cattle instead of carcasses in the spring.

But it wasn't an accident. As is always the case, there are actually multiple historical and documented points that preceded the boom of the cattle industry in Wyoming. To summarize quickly: (1) In 1849 Fort Laramie was established and there were soldiers there who needed to eat; (2) In 1851 the Missouri Pacific Railroad began laying track headed West and these railroads revolutionized beef cattle transport as well as had surveyors plotting lines through Cheyenne and not Denver (because of Cheyenne's milder winters); (3) The Civil War both centralized the beef processing industry and plants moved to Nebraska from eastern cities like Chicago AND caused a huge surplus of Longhorn in Texas that were unattended as men left from the ranches to go fight in the war; (4) The unattended cattle bred unchecked and their numbers exploded; (5) When people came through looking for places to put their cattle Wyoming basically had a huge neon sign that said "Free Range and Free HIGH QUALITY Grass." (source)

Although when most animal-industry people think of Wyoming they think of beef cattle, "The high plains and mountain meadows of Wyoming are well-known for producing some of the finest sheep and wool in the world. Wyoming ranks second in the U.S. in wool production and lamb crop." (source)

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The plants and animals in a specific area have a profound impact on the people that live there. Most of the people I knew during the first part of my life in Wyoming came from farmers or ranchers of some kind. The biggest industries are cattle and sheep, and peoples' livelihoods reflect that. People in Wyoming take better care of their stock than themselves.

As a direct result of the kinds of jobs everyone's families came from, people in Wyoming have huge amounts of respect for ranchers and farmers. When I was in high school one of the biggest programs (besides football) were the FFA programs that were sponsored by the local college, trying to get more people into farming and ranching. And unlike suburban or city places, I wasn't raised around people who were trying to "catch their big break." People generally had regular jobs that they were passionate about, and are more interested in working hard and providing for themselves. In my experience it was common for people to hold multiple jobs that weren't just jobs to them, but "passion projects."

I think this way of life directly translates to the culture surrounding folk magic. I will get more into that in future posts in this series.

Another huge point in the culture in Wyoming life is outdoor recreation and protecting federal lands. People are very interested in reducing carbon footprints, recycling, and leaving campgrounds/recreation areas better than they found them. If you're a litter bug you're basically the worst person to ever exist, and people get (understandably) angry over people who litter or otherwise disrespect the environment (taking things from the state/national parks, etc.). The same energy exists for people who poach in any context, and the state's laws reflect that. If someone is caught poaching, they lose their ability to legally hunt in the state forever without any chance of appeal.

That's how I try to live now, even though I live in a different state. I've always had a deep-seeded hatred for litterbugs and people who disrespect the environment around them. I didn't meet people who didn't care about that kind of thing until I moved out of the western part of the United States. That was probably the biggest culture shock I experienced.

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[thorraborinn]

Now then! Question regarding Valhalla and Heathenry in general. So, whenever the topic of the afterlife within Heathen context gets brought up, it's usually, in my experiences, narrowed down to warriors go to Valhalla or Folkvang, and everyone else goes to Hel, and they tend to cite that it's what the Eddas say. But I've noticed when I've done light reading that the lore isn't quite as cut and dry with regards to Valhalla. Like in the Lay of Harberd, Odin in disguise states that poets/skalds, as well as nobles and warriors go to his hall, and in Volsunga Saga, Sinflotji dies from poison and is taken by Odin disguised as a ferryman to Valhalla. Sigurd as well (technically) dies in battle, slaying his attacker before dying, but doesn't enter Valhalla. So, my question is basically, why are details like these either ignored or just not brought up when people speak of Valhalla and how to enter it?

I think there are a few concurrent answers operating on different levels.

I think the real reason they don't get brought up is that people don't know about them. In my experience, most heathens do not read the heroic poems or sagas like Völsunga saga. In Snorri and in the mythological poems of the Poetic Edda, Valhöll is described as the place where people go if they were "killed by weapons" (vápndauðir, Grímnismál 8), and "have fallen in battle" (í orrustu hafa fallit, Gylfaginning 38). These are quick references, not detailed descriptions of the rules, and there is nothing surprising about them being limited. So I am not surprised when people have not read sources that don't fit that description.

Also, I think it would be very difficult to create a coherent description of what qualifies a person for Valhöll that includes all of the people who are said to go there in the poems and sagas, and excludes everyone else. In Helgakviða Hundingsbana II, Helgi seems to be killed in the same way that Sigurðr is, yet Helgi does go to Valhöll; furthermore, Helgi apparently comes and goes from Valhöll, and eventually reincarnates, so the whole thing is a very different concept of Valhöll than we get in many other sources. In Ynglinga saga, King Njörðr has himself "marked (for/to/of) Óðinn" before dying of illness, which isn't fully explained, but most people figure it's supposed to be some kind of guarantee of a good afterlife (the assumption is usually that he is inflicted with a wound indistinguishable from a battle-wound so he can go to Valhöll) -- obviously the description of [the human king] Njörðr doing this is not a reliable witness to a historical event but it's not impossible that Snorri worked an actual custom into the narrative even though it conflicts with most other descriptions of Valhöll.

While I think most heathens know by now that myth was different over time and geography, in practice many are still pretty bad at applying that fact to how they think of religious concepts. That is to say, they think there is supposed to be a single coherent concept of Valhöll, so some of those sources must be wrong. But let's be real here: nobody goes to Valhöll and lives to tell about it. These are collective speculations, maybe bolstered by the occasional mystical experience, but mostly projections of life serving a warrior aristocracy, mediated by the needs of whatever narrative it's being used in. I also want to mention that the inclusion of noblemen and poets isn't really a contradiction here: most of the important skálds who we know about were also warriors and served as court poets in the retinues of kings and jarls; and generally warriors were noblemen. One was far more likely to die in battle if they were noble, and if you could manage to get your foot in the door it might have been one of the very few ways to attain nobility if you weren't born into it.

I actually do think that the discrepancy between Sinfjötli's afterlife and Sigurðr's can be explained, although you do have to stretch a little. Basically the perception of where a person goes after death has more to do with the reception of their manner of death. Sinfjötli died honorably, looking his opponent in the eye, knowing it was going to kill him, but having no honorable way out accepted death rather than chickening out. Sigurðr was murdered in bed. Yeah, he went down fighting, and nobody would deny that he was an honorable person, but his manner of death was not. In other versions of the story it's even worse, he gets literally stabbed in the back. They're all bad ways to go.

But again, that happens to Helgi too (it seems, anyway -- it looks like he got run through from behind just like Siegfried in the Nibelungenlied), and he goes to Valhöll.

Finally, I think the reason that its pushed so hard sometimes is in reaction to the opposite tendency: the trend of opening up Valhöll to include practically everyone, or at least everyone who "deserves" it. As you know, my own opinion is that this sucks even worse than the "SKÅL WARRIOR BRÖTHREN" view of it. To be clear, they're not really doing anything different from what Vikings did; they're also projecting their personal values onto the cosmos itself so that they can imagine their own judgments being enacted in an impersonal or divinely-guided way, it's just that I think that sucks ass and is counterproductive, because expecting the cosmos to dole out justice at the end of the lifetime is a form of resignation about getting justice in the real world.