#I answered one question a creepy doctor asked me and with that I basically killed my family

[fruitysoupy]

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[widow-maximov]

Strike

Pairing: Wanda x Reader

Warning: The usual tags plus death..

Summary: Trusting the wrong person can lead to real dangerous consequences.

Word count: 6.3k

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

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8 years ago

No one would expect you to be this close to a robot, well you didn't really see Vision as a one, you saw him as something that could potentially become better.

Teach humans better and you wanted to be there with him through his progress, it all started by Tony assigning you to keep an eye on Vision for the next couple days whilst the team was out.

You didn't mind at all, it was all pretty easy to do, you basically had a whole tower to yourself whilst Vision explored his new home. You wanted to know more about him but he seemed busy.

So you settled for something else, you managed to clean your room a little and by the time you were finished some time was gone, so you decided to check up on Vision.

You walked around but failed to locate him until you called out for him that's when he appeared out of the wall, scaring the shit out of it "Jesus!"

He tilted his head as he tried to read you "Did that scare you? I am sorry, I am still learning a lot of things"

You took a deep breath as you nodded "Yeah don't do that unless you want someone to accidently hit you"

"I don't think I would be able to feel that miss Y/l/n" He responded as he held his hands together.

"You can call me Y/n, there is no need for that" You smiled at him as you walked forwards to which he followed.

"Right, sorry, I am still trying to fit in" He answered as he tried to smile but that ended up looking terrible.

You laughed "Smile with your mouth not with your teeth, you look like you want to kill someone"

He nodded and proceeded to follow your instructions which allowed him to look less creepy "Like this?"

"Yeah, just like that, but make sure you use a smile whenever you're kind to someone or trying to light up their mood" You answered with a tip to make sure he acted more like the rest of the team.

He frowned "Right.. In what kind of scenario?"

You looked forward to think of how to explain it to him that's when you saw one of the doctors from the med wing "Okay watch this"

He nodded and his eyes were glued to you as you walked up to that lady with a welcoming smile "Hey.."

She looked at you with a questionable look as if to scan if you were injured "Hey?"

"I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are and I just couldn't help myself but come up here and tell you that" You offered her a small smile just enough.

She blushed at your comment, not really sure how to answer that "Y/l/n that's really unprofessional of you to say.."

You shrugged "Maybe so, but we both can't deny how that blush really suits you"

She immediately had her hand up to her cheek, blushing even more, which you took as an opportunity to take into yours as you brought it up to your mouth and placed a light kiss on top of it whilst having your sight glued to hers.

"Now if you change your mind and want this to be unprofessional you know where to find me" You winked as you gently lowered her hand and walked off towards Vision.

"I think that was more than being kind but I think I get it now" He answered as you both walked into the living room.

"You have to be polite, especially if you see a very beautiful lady" You looked up at him with a wide smile.

You sat down on the couch and took your phone out to see what Natasha has sent you since you couldn't join her, that's when Vision sat next to you and turned his body towards you.

"Could you teach me more? I want to be more human and be seen as one rather than be some clueless robot?" He asked with a straight face.

You looked up from your phone at him, one brow raised "You see Vis, you gotta use facial expressions if you want someone to do something for you"

He looked like he was thinking for a moment, that's when a small smile appeared on his lips "Can you help me? Please?"

Your lips curled up into your own soft smile "Sure, no problem, just hang with me and I will teach you everything you need to know to become the best human alive"

And that's how it all started, ever since Vision became your right hand, he was willing to help you, cover for you and fight with you, always by your side and this was the same with you.

Tony doubted that Vision could have any emotions but according to you he was different and you were willing to help him out in anyway you could.

Which was what Wanda adored in you, the passion to always help others, she felt that you were fitting in here pretty fine always attending to anyone who was in need.

During city missions, you were the first to make sure the civilians were out of danger before proceeding to help out the team, the witch made sure she always had one eye on you in case they tried to attack you but you managed just fine which made her just love you more.

The thing was that you never told anyone expect Vision who you liked, you never made it known or even tried to flirt with anyone unless it was to get something.

Wanda wanted to know if she had a chance with you, but she was afraid to go up to you and ask you out so Pietro took it in his hands for his little sister.

As he casually slid the idea of a high school party for the Avengers towards Tony, knowing he would agree with it in the matter of seconds, everyone else agreed along with Tony and that included you.

Vision looked over at you "Party? I can't exactly consume alcohol"

You smiled "That's okay, you can drink your oils whilst I drink water, we don't have to drink anything"

Natasha frowned "That's a party pooper, you have to drink!"

Carol nodded to agree with the Russian "She is right, if you don't drink then you are boring"

You laughed which caused an unknown smile to just spread across Wanda's lips, Natasha noticed "Wait a second, I don't think our witch has drunk anything before. Not that I can remember"

You looked over at her, curious to see what she was going to say, her cheeks turned slightly pinkish but before she could say anything you narrowed your eyes playfully at Natasha "Leave Witchy alone, she might not wanna drink"

Her eyes sparkled at how you defended her, you might've not seen it but Natasha definitely did, so she simply put her hands up with a small smirk and leaned back in her chair.

You looked at Wanda with a smile and wink "You're welcome"

She looked down with a smile as she bit her lip, trying her hardest to just keep her happiness inside, Pietro smirked as he jumped up from his seat "We can do the party now, we have the alcohol and the space for it"

Tony smirked "I like you kid, you are just like me"

Pietro sped to Tony's side as the older man placed his arm around the slightly taller man "Well it's decided then, to the party room!"

Wanda sighed at her brothers childish thinking, but she couldn't back out now, she has to go through with it just for a little bit and then she can go back to watching her favourite sitcom.

As the team relocated, everyone was taking up turns to talk to you and Wanda knew she wouldn't get a chance to even thank you for defending her, but what else was she expecting? You always had people around you.

Pietro and Natasha noticed, they both looked at each other and the smirk that appeared on their lips wasn't anything innocent, Natasha downed her drink as she placed the empty bottle on the floor and let the younger blonde do the shouting.

"Spin the bottle everyone and 7 minutes in heaven in one go" His voice was loud enough to be heard by everyone.

Everyone jumped up at the chance to join which Wanda was hesitant at first but after Carol physically dragging her in the circle that was now formed.

She uncomfortable sat down next to the Russian, as she span the bottle and let it land on Carol, that went around for some time until it was your turn.

You didn't really care who it lands on, not like you were exactly planned on making out with anyone there, just friendly chat would be all you wanted.

But Pietro had different plans for you, as you span the bottle, he started to run with speed as he accidently fell over, causing you to turn your attention to him ready to help him.

That's when Natasha took the chance to make sure the bottle was pointed at Wanda, she pretended to be concerned with the younger Sokovian accident but they both somehow planned this out without needing to exchange words.

He quickly stood up "I am good, no problem here"

Thor chuckled "This guy and alcohol is not a good mix"

Half of the team nodded with a mumble as everyone looked back at the bottle that was now facing Wanda, who had a deep blush across her cheeks.

You had a reassuring smile plastered across your lips as you held Wanda's eye contact "Well then witchy, lets go"

Steve frowned "But we didn't even see it spin, that needs a redo"

Carol dismissed it "Nah, let them have their fun"

Yelena who sat on the couch as she watched everything unfold, laughed "Unless Steve wants to spend 7 minutes with both of the ladies"

You stood up as you reached over to Wanda "We don't do threesomes, no offence Rogers"

Wanda couldn't even say anything, she just took your hand that seemed to fit just perfectly and let you pull her up, dragging her away towards the bathroom that was the only thing to give you two privacy.

You and Wanda never really spoke, she was rather quiet around everyone and it just made you even more curious, to which used that opportunity to your advantage.

As she hopped on the bathroom counter, you leaned on the bath that wasn't too far from her, you kept your eyes on her side profile "We don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with Witchy"

That made her look at you "We can do whatever"

You remember what Vision mentioned to you about the young witch, the blushes, the huge smiles at the sight of you, he noticed all of that which then made you notice it after.

He claimed it was to look out for you but you knew that he kinda liked Wanda, there was nothing you could've done because it's her feelings, even barely talking to her still made her like you just the same if not more.

He tried to understand that and in the end he knew that he couldn't just change her feelings like someone can change a code in a program, it was something out of his control and he just gave you the green light if you ever wanted to.

You never were sure about it, you never felt like you knew the witch enough even if you knew she was pretty attractive when she was angry.

And here you are with the ultimatum that you could kiss her right now, but was it really something she wanted or needed. You wanted to take it slow just for your own safety, protecting your heart was always a priority for you.

You stood up as you walked closer to her, practically placing yourself between her legs "I mean technically 7 minutes in heaven are spent kissing.."

You knew the reaction you would get out of it, she had a deep blush within seconds, she was going to say something but you smiled with a small laugh.

"Relax witchy, I was just messing with you, I prefer just talking for now" You backed away, watching as her shoulders relaxed for a moment.

You found a spot to sit down in as you fired the first question towards her "How come you're always so quiet?"

She inhaled as she thought of how to answer the question "I wouldn't know what to say really"

Maybe Wanda was different to what you thought she was, this just caused more curiosity in you "Anything that's on your mind"

"You really want to hear it?" She asked as her eyes were glued to yours.

You nodded "Sometimes the most valuable thing is what someone has in their heart"

She smiled slightly at your words as she looked away "The reason I don't really talk is because I feel like there is always this constant pressure on me, I am stuck with this big responsibility that sometimes I wonder if I would ever be normal without them"

You listened to her, letting her open up as she finally let someone in "It feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulder because I do anything that's close to wrong I will be the enemy in everyone's eyes"

A little red orb appeared in between her fingers as she stared at it "I remember how my life was before all of this, it was easy and not stressful and just enough to keep me happy"

Your eyes never left her face, when she went quiet and you didn't say anything she looked up at you again, hoping you could say anything, just anything to make her feel like she is not insane for thinking that.

"But Wanda, you have us to be there and help you out" You spoke up after couple more seconds of just processing everything.

A dry chuckle left her mouth "That's exactly what I thought with Ultron, and look where that left me, with my brother nearly dead just like my parents, leaving me here alone"

"Well, if the team turned against you, I would stand by you no matter what, you have my word Wanda. I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you" You stood up as you took couple steps towards her.

"How can you be so sure, we barely talk Y/n" She felt skeptic about it.

"That's why I am here, well I didn't make this happen but I am here, to change this, I want to know you better, I always did but I wasn't sure if you wanted that" You answered her rather quickly, not wanting her to doubt it.

There was a knock on the door as a voice followed it "Time's up love birds"

She smiled, this time fully "Okay, meet me in my room at 7 tomorrow, you'll learn something about me"

You smiled back as you watched her hop down and walking out together to continue the party, this was a lot more better than making out with someone.

For you it was always important to know this persons intentions before letting them in fully inside your heart, so you hoped that maybe Wanda was just the right person to let in, fully this time.

As time went on, you were getting pretty tired so you decided to go to your room earlier than the rest of the team, as you walked out Wanda followed you.

She jogged up to your side as you both walked towards the lift "You aren't going to stay?"

She shook her head "No, parties aren't my thing really"

"Why do you come then? I am sure you have a lot of other things to do" You looked over at her when yous stopped in front of the lift.

As the doors opened and yous walked in, she shrugged "I mean Pietro is there so I guess spending time with him is better than sitting alone in my room"

You nodded as you looked ahead "But he is still at that party though"

You smirked as she tried to find words to not seem like a stalker "I-I wanted to walk you to your room"

You looked at her as your smirk dropped, not expecting her to actually tell you "Am I that special?"

She met your gaze rather quickly at the question, not being sure if she should nod but doing it anyway, as the metal door opened yous still stood in the same place.

But at the sound of the door closing you quickly looked over and stopped it quickly, letting Wanda leave first before following her, as yous walked to your room in comfortable silence.

As yous stopped in front of your room, you gave her a small smile "I would invite you in for a movie or something but I have to be up at 6am tomorrow.."

She nodded in acknowledgment "No, it's okay, I need a long shower anyways"

"Well I guess I will see you tomorrow at 7pm" You were feeling something, it was just her and you in an empty hallway.

She smiled that met her eyes as she nodded, she took a step forward as she tipped toed, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek, letting a pinkish blush appear across your cheeks.

She moved away as she looked into your eyes "See you tomorrow Y/n/n"

She turned around and walked towards her room, that wasn't that far away from yours. You were dumbfounded by her spark of confidence, your hand reached to your cheek where she placed her lips and a newly feeling sparked inside your chest.

You took a deep breath and walked inside your room, you too were going to need a long shower too, you deserved it after draining your social battery.

As the new days rolled in pretty fast, it rolled out in the same way, it was getting late, everyone busy in their own worlds and you? You were preparing to go meet Wanda.

Having everything completed to have the rest of the evening free, but just to be sure you wanted to be sure so you asked Natasha to look over some of your reports, just to make sure it was all perfect.

She was happy to do so, it gave her something to do rather than overthink situations she had no control over, as you carried couple of the files to Natasha.

You knocked on her door gentle and she opened it within couple of seconds, as you walked in, you looked around, seeing how her bedroom matched the widow.

It wasn't colourful at all, it was the right use of colours to match her personality, but yet it was welcoming enough to feel comfortable, you placed the files on her desk and plopped yourself on her bed.

She gave you a small smile as she sat in her chair "Why are you in such rush?"

You looked over at her "What rush?"

"Well usually you don't have anyone check your reports since they are perfect" She flicked through pages as she spoke.

You smirked "Are you jealous that Fury called my reports perfect, Romanoff?"

She rolled her eyes when she looked over at you "Not the point here but no, you're getting them looked at by me so obviously no"

"I have plans so I kinda rushed them" You confessed looking out the window which had the blinds half way down.

Without missing a beat, her hand flicked another page "With Wanda?"

Your eyes snapped to the side of her face "How do you know?"

This time she turned her body after closing the first report "That girl has been way too happy all day long, I never seen her smile so much since Pietro have gotten better"

You frowned "Well she could be happy over anything"

Natasha chuckled "Y/n, please everyone knows she likes you, it's so obvious"

"I mean Vision mentioned some bits but I didn't think everyone else knew" You had your brows raised in shock.

"You see we have eyes, so we can see what is going around us. If anything the whole team thought you were dating Vision for sometime" She teased you at first.

"Dated Vision? Yeah you guys need glasses if your eyes see something there" You laughed at the thought of your best friend dating you.

"Plus I am gay, like so attracted to women that if you weren't my teammate I would definitely crush on you" You rambled on, digging a bigger hole underneath you.

Natasha smirked "Yet Wanda is your teammate and it seems to me you're crushing on her, so what's wrong with me?"

"N-nothing! Nothing's wrong with you, I was just saying that I am gay and I definitely not getting out of that hole that I dug under myself" You realised how awkward you can get as you shut your eyes to save yourself from more embarrassment.

The Russian laughed at you "So you do admit you are crushing on Wanda then?"

Your brow raised with a smile across your lips "I am not admitting anything redhead, all I said was I have plans, so please finish those reports before I am late"

She nodded "Okay, okay"

She turned back to her desk as the silence settled in, but her words never left your head "What do you mean she was happy? How did you even know it was to do with me?"

She smirked, she knew you wouldn't be able to resist asking "Well, if you were with us today then you would know she actually spoke about it"

That spark more curiosity in you "What did she say?"

The redhead closed another report "That's something she can only tell you"

You frowned with a small pout but that wouldn't work on the Russian, she looked over and shook her head "Oh no, that's not working on me, I am not getting in between you and the witch"

You sighed, you knew the redhead wouldn't say anything "Okay, fine, just finish up and leave them in my room, I need to go"

You stood up as you walked over to the door, the redhead teased you one more time "Enjoy your date"

You turned to look at her when your hand was on the door handle "Not a date"

"Sure, whatever you say" She answered back, you knew she had a big smirk across her lips but you just rolled your eyes and walked out.

You made sure to pop into your room quickly to take a look in the mirror, straighten some hairs out and just look presentable, you finally looked at your phone and you had barely 2 minutes to get over to her.

You sighed as you gave a smile to yourself in the mirror and finally made your way to her, you stood outside the door thinking of how to greet her, that's when the door swung open causing you to frown in confusion and walk in to see Wanda on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

"Your thoughts are so loud, just knock" She teased as she finally looked up at you.

It took you a moment to notice her room, it was a lot more brighter than the Russians, it felt like Wanda all the way, there were snacks on the side of her bed, some were her favourite and some were yours.

Her eyes read you just perfectly "I asked the team what you liked"

Your eyes snapped back to hers, she was inviting, patting the empty side of her bed for you, everything just looked perfect, your feet were glued the ground until she spoke up.

"Come sit" She offered a sincere smile.

She was comfortable around you, you could see it just by how her shoulder were completely relaxed rather than tensed, which happened often around the team.

As you closed the door behind you, you noticed the pictures of her and Pietro as kids, teenagers and adults, some with her parents some not.

You approached one, just curious to see that memory of hers captured perfectly in a still image, she appeared by your side as she looked at the picture.

"Just a little after joining the Avengers, we went out to a local restaurant after Pietro gotten his first pay check from Tony, he claimed he wanted to take me out for a treat, but really he was there to just chat up women" She explained with a gentle tone, cracking a small smile at the memory.

You listened, trying to imagine that happiest moment for her "Of course, women barely noticed him, he looked like he came out of a mental hospital with the way he approached them but it was one of the rarest happiest moments I had with him, the owner was taking pictures and snapped one of us, I had to get it printed and now it's here"

At the end, you looked at her, mastering a smile that made her weak in her knees "I think that's the best way to keep the positive memories alive"

She smiled at your approval, not that she needed it, but it felt a lot more easier to know that there was someone else in the world who agreed with her.

"I wouldn't take you for a picture type of person" You confessed as you both walked over to the bed.

She shrugged "I am not, but it was nice to fill those empty walls, at least now I can stare at them when I can't sleep at night"

You nodded to show that you understand her "I usually do something rather than just stare at things, like for example take a shower, help me concentrate on doing something"

"Maybe next time we should just hang out instead" You jokingly suggested to which the young witch agreed to.

"So what are we doing then?" You asked as you finally looked away from the redhead besides you.

The remote flew into her hand as the snacks followed into yours and hers lap "You wanted to get to know me so I wanted to show you what I do when I am here alone"

She pressed the on button and went through her selections, to have a sitcom appear on the screen "You watch sitcoms?"

She nodded as she let the intro play "I always did, it reminds me of the times when my mom would turn them on after dinner to just enjoy some family time"

Her tone turned slightly more quieter "It was the last thing we watched together before they-" She paused, even if so many years passed, the grief was still lingering around, she needed even more time to get over the fact that she would never see them.

You looked over as you reached for her hand, making her eyes find yours, giving her a gentle smile that only reassured her even more that being vulnerable with you was a good choice for her.

"Besides, I think they are quite entertaining but if you don't want to watch it, then we can watch some movie" She was quick to give you an option, only proving to you that she was willing to set aside the joy those brought her.

You shook your head with a delicate smile "No, it's okay, I want to see what's so special that they captured your attention Wands"

She beamed at your words, pressing forward to let it finally start, if you were being honest, they definitely made you crack a few laughs, it warmed Wanda's heart at the sound of your laugh.

She was getting sleepy but she didn't want to move, she didn't want you to go and being hesitant to place her head on your shoulder but just like that.

You turned your head to look at her, the tv light brought out all of her good features, you could see her eyes a lot more smaller than usual, you knew she was tired.

"Lay your head on my shoulder" You whispered and without even a second to waste, her head was comfortably laying against your shoulder.

She hooked her arm with yours as she snuggled a little, it was a reflex that she done with Pietro, he always offered for her to just hug his arm as way to make her more comfortable to fall asleep as he watched the rest of the film.

You didn't complain at all, the warmth from her on your arm made you just as sleepy, you managed to lean on her as well and within couple of minutes both of you passed out.

It was as if the tv scented something as it showed the count down and turned off automatically, letting the peaceful silence fall into the night, allowing yous to hold each other like if it was the end of the world.

The morning rolled over and you found yourself alone in Wanda's bed, in a way you were kinda grateful to not deal with the awkward morning but also sad she didn't stay.

You gotten up and went to your room, freshened up and headed to the kitchen to smell something delicious, as you walked in you could see the redhead with a huge smile across her face.

"Did those eggs say something funny?" You teased as you walked in.

She turned her face to met the sight of you looking a lot more rested "They said they are egg-cellent to eat"

You rolled your eyes playfully at her pun "Worst pun I have ever heard"

She chuckled "Whatever you say Y/l/n"

You leaned against the counter as you took the cup with the tea that you managed to prepare rather quickly "Wands.."

She hummed in response as she moved the done eggs of the heat and onto a plate for you, you cleared your throat and gripped the cup a little tighter "Was last night a date?"

The witch stopped in her tracks as her cheeks turned red, that was not what she was expecting, there was slight fear in her posture to see if your question was a correction or a genuine interest in her.

From the silence you took a hint "I am only asking because I just want a cleared picture"

She took a silent deep breath and placed the empty pan down, turning around, still afraid to meet your eyes but she knew she had to so she did "Would you like it to be?"

It was hard to bite back a smile for you, you could see that she was nervous with her question, you weren't exactly sure if a date was something that was a good timing but then in the end was anything a good timing.

"I mean, it kinda felt like a date so yeah I wanted it to be a date" You answered with a slight shrug of your shoulders.

A relief smile appeared almost instantly across her soft lips "I wanted it to be a date too"

A wide smile spread across your lips "Let me plan a date for tonight then"

She nodded, not being against it at all, she wanted to spend nearly all of her time with you, it was comfortable and easy to enjoy her time around everyone when you were there.

And here are yous, 6 years in, the relationship stronger than ever than before, the team was supportive, helping you plan out the most perfect proposal but in the end you settled for something simple.

For something that started all of those feelings for the redhead, as yous gotten comfortable to watch another sitcom, you had a ring hidden in the other hand, as she turned her attention to look at her phone to quickly slipped the little box inside the snacks, pretending to take some to eat.

As she reached in, and with a confused frowned pulled out the dark blue box, you turned on the light, letting your attention be fully consumed by her.

She opened it and looked over at you, that's when with ease you choke out those 4 words that were invading your mind ever since you could remember.

Planning a future with Wanda was a dream come true, having her say yes to your nerve wracking question made it more believable that you were with the love of your life.

The picture was captured by the set up camera, wanting to frame that one in a lifetime moment, to stare at how happy you both felt in that moment.

Planning the wedding was chaotic but knowing that having a date set for it to happen was less stressful, being by each other side was less stressful, even if Wanda was slightly obsessed with it being perfect.

You knew that no matter what happens, that day was going to be magical, something that no one could take away from both of yous, you felt like for once your life with Wanda was meant to be.

But that was far from it..

Weeks before the wedding, a war exploded, Thanos and his army threatening to destroy everything in his way to gain what he wants, the control over everything with just some stones.

Compound had the most stressful and tensed air in the whole world, it all laid on their shoulders, reaching out to anyone they knew to help out.

It was hands on and you knew you could help, even if Wanda didn't want you to be fighting, she had a lot to lose and that was you and it was the same with you, but you had to keep the world safe.

It all happened too soon, he appeared way too early than predicted, with no preparation, the team parted, trying their best to keep everyone and themselves alive.

Alerting those who wanted to help to come down as fast as possible, it was real hell, you knew you had your back covered by your wife to be and your best friend Vision.

Yet in the this horrible havoc, Thanos seemed to be one step head of yous, as you stood in the battle, fighting beside Vision, Wanda and the rest of the team.

The least worry was one of the team members turning against yous but it happened, as something in Vision stirred up, his eyes turned white.

Not noticing, he grabbed one of the blades that was laying around from Thanos dead army, he turned towards you, letting it scan the best possibility to make you suffer.

You killed the weird looking alien as you turned to see if anyone else needed help, that's when you noticed the alien running towards Vision.

You acted fast "Look out!"

That pulled Wanda's attention but she was a little late to act on it, as she watched her worst nightmare come true, it was like it all happened in slowmotion.

As you run towards him, with your weapon ready to attack the threat, you jumped up as it came from above his head, he moved towards you as he pierced the sharp blade right through your chest.

Wanda's eyes widen with a loud scream coming out from her mouth, running towards you as fast as she could, the team turned to see the scene that no one wanted to believe.

Your eyes widen from shock as you stared into his pupil-less eyes, letting a tear slide down your face soon letting the blood follow from your mouth.

Wanda used her magic to immobilise Vision, as Thor sent one of the swords flying towards Visions back, sliding easily into him as his eyes turned back, staring at you in disbelief at his action.

His eyes never left your eyes for a moment as he whispered "I am so sorry.." His apology couldn't fix this and that definitely didn't help with Wanda's heart break as she easily destroyed him.

His body rolled off with a grey colour appearing on him, leaving you on the floor, to bleed out to death but that was not going to happen, not with Wanda.

"No! Please Y/n/n please, you can't die, you won't die you hear me?!" She was panicking, the amount of blood that was escape from the wound and your mouth.

Tony along with Thor and Steve tried to help out, allow Bruce to try to do something with whatever he had but they all knew you weren’t going to make it.

The wound was too deep, too big, no magic and no miracle could heal that, Wanda looked at them helplessly "Do something! Save her!"

They all shared a sad look, she knew that sad look but she didn't want to believe it, she held your hand as your grip on hers weakened within seconds.

"Y/n please, I am pregnant, you can't leave now, you have to stay" She confessed, it was suppose to be a surprise.

You gave her a weak smile at the news, your eyes met Natasha's for a split second and she already knew what you were asking of her, she was going to do everything in her power to help Wanda out, in whatever way she could.

More tears left your eyes as you blinked, taking a shakey breath, barely getting into your lungs as you managed to choke out something "I- I- lo-ve yo-u wit-tchy"

She sobbed, as she leaned her head against your hand, she moved over to your lips, placing a final last kiss, that you could barely meet but you felt it.

"Y/n.." Wanda muttered your name with streams of tears leaving, the team gathered around, letting that scene embed into their memories, scarring them all for life.

The life left your eyes slowly, your grip loosening around Wanda's hand, letting her know that this was never meant to be the way you both wanted it to be...

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[yeah-all-of-it]

I’ve had this headcanon for awhile now about Ian and Mickey starting a family and since I’m becoming more comfortable with writing, I thought I’d turn it into a fic. Enjoy!

A Life Changing Gift

“Debs, are you sure you understand what you’re offering right now?,” Ian questions, feeling a bit skeptical.

It is Debbie after all. Sometimes she’s perfectly pleasant and reasonable, other times she can be a raging bitch. But, she is his sister and he can’t imagine her offering something this monumental only to renege after they’ve gotten their hopes up. And she’s definitely mellowed out since they didn’t end up selling the house and she didn’t have to find a new place to live.

Ian and Debbie are sitting at the kitchen table in the Gallagher house. She had called him over to look at a cut Franny had gotten playing in the backyard. Wasn’t sure if it needed stitches and thought Ian could use his past medical training to check it out. In reality, it was barely a scratch. Ian should have known at that point Debbie was up to something, especially when she invited him to stay for coffee.

“Ian, I’ve been thinking a long time about this. Came up with the idea months ago but wanted to be completely sure before I said anything,” Debbie explains.

“Yeah, but, Debbie. This is fuckin’ huge. Think about how hard it’ll be on you-“

“I’ve already thought about all that shit, Ian. I’ve been through it before, you know. It’s really not that bad,” Debbie assures him.

Debbie seems sincere. Like she’s really considered every angle, every downside, upside, and in-between. He’s trying to keep his excitement reined in because he still has to convince Mickey that this is a good idea, which could be easier said than done.

“Listen,” Debbie says. “You don’t have to say anything now. Go home, talk it over with Mickey. You can even bring him over here and we can all talk about it if you want. No pressure.”

They both stand from the table and Ian goes to give her a hug.

“Wait, what the fuck are you doing?” Debbie jokes. “Thought you hated me and that we don’t do hugs anymore.” She laughs, and Ian knows she’s remembering how tense things were a year ago when she thought she’d be homeless and alone and she lashed out at all her siblings.

“Would you just fuckin’ come here?” Ian smiles warmly and holds his arms out.

She steps into his embrace and he just holds his little sister. Sometimes he still likes to imagine her as that sweet little girl that was always helping people. Always loving people, sometimes so much she would get hurt. It would kill him to see the tears in her eyes.

Sometimes, he sees glimpses of that caring little girl in the jaded woman she’s become. Like when she pretended to be the bride at his wedding; staying in the kitchen, missing the whole ceremony, just so he and Mickey could get married without any problems from the homophobes at the venue. And now, when she’s offering this selfless and life changing gift to them.

Ian whispers into her hair, hair that’s the same vibrant shade of red as his own, “I don’t even know what to say, Debs. Just… thank you.”

Debbie gives him one more big squeeze before pulling away. “You’re welcome. Now, go home and convince your husband to let me have his baby.”

———

“No fuckin’ way, NO fuckin’ way!” Mickey exclaims. “No way am I bangin’ your little sister.”

Mickey hops up on the counter, takes a long chug of the Old Style in his hand.

“Mick,” Ian sighs, leaning up against the opposite counter. “That’s not how it works. You would basically jerk off in a cup and she’d use a turkey baster, in the privacy of her own room,” he emphasizes,” to… place the sperm where they need to go.”

“Don’t you need like, a doctor or some shit to do that?” Mickey asks incredulously.

“Well, you can use a doctor but it’s expensive. This way is free,” Ian clarifies.

Mickey is clearly churning the idea around in his brain. Finally speaks.

“I thought we were just gonna like, find a fuckin’ kid that didn’t have parents or somethin’.”

“We can do that too, one day. Ya know, if we like the first one enough to do it again,” Ian says lightheartedly, slight grin, trying to calm Mickey.

Ian steps toward Mickey, placing his hips between Mickey’s knees, resting his hands on his thighs, rubbing softly.

Ian continues. “Think about it though, Mick. This baby would be us, you and me. It’s the closest we can get since we don’t exactly have the right stuff to do it on our own. He or she would have your DNA and, through Debbie, a little of mine too.”

Mickey beams at this, wraps his arms around his husband’s shoulders. “It would be kinda fun to have a little version of us runnin’ around,” Mickey admits. “You know a kid that’s part Milkovich and part Gallagher is bound to be a little shit though, right?” Mickey jokes, smiling at the thought.

“Oh, I’m counting on it,” Ian quips, leaning in and planting a sweet kiss on his smiling husband’s lips.

Ian pulls back from the kiss and asks seriously, “So. Do you wanna do this?”

“Yeah. Yeah I do. What about you?” Mickey questions.

“Fuck yeah, I do. Let’s call Debs right now.”

———

“I’ve done a lot of research about this. You guys know it might not work on the first try right? Don’t want you to be frustrated or disappointed if it doesn’t work this month. Doesn’t mean it won’t ever work, but it can take a little time,” Debbie explains.

They are sitting in the Gallagher living room the day they are making their first attempt at insemination.

“Yeah, we know, Debs. Don’t worry,” Ian replies. “We’re not in a hurry.”

“Okay, good. Keeping your expectations reasonable is good,” she says. “I’ve also been tracking my basal body temperature and took an ovulation test, so today is my most fertile da-“

Mickey interrupts, “Thanks, Dr. Gallagher, but we don’t need all the gory details. Now where do I jerk off? Hey Ian, you gonna gimme a hand, man?” Mickey clicks his tongue and bounces his eyebrows playfully.

“Ugh, no gory details, right? Let’s just keep all the personal shit to ourselves okay?” Debbie requests.

“Yeah, this is already awkward enough. Don’t need to make it weirder,” Ian agrees and eyes Mickey scoldingly.

Ian and Mickey are forced to go into the bathroom because Lip and Tami live there now and their old bedroom is now Fred and the baby’s room. They’re not home but it would be uncomfortable seeing Fred’s little toddler bed, his stuffed animal collection staring at them while Mickey gets off. So, bathroom it is.

“Listen, Mickey,” Ian explains. “I’ll help, but we are keeping this clinical. Short and sweet. We can fuck at home later for fun; this needs to be done with a purpose, a goal. Debbie’s waiting.”

“Ugh, Jesus, man, why you gotta bring up Debbie? Doesn’t exactly make this process easier to think of her waiting in her room to squir-“

“Okaaayy, focus Mick,” Ian interrupts before that sentence goes any further.

Ian yanks down Mickey’s pants and gets to work. He knows exactly how Mickey likes it to make him come quickly. It works and Mickey finishes into the bulb of the turkey baster in record time.

Ian wipes off the edges and walks it to Debbie’s room, knocking on the door. She opens it just enough to stick her arm out and Ian places the bulb in her hand. Ian hears her say, “Uh, you guys can go home. I’ll text you later,” and shuts the door.

On their way back to the Westside, Ian’s phone dings. He picks it up and reads the text from Debbie out loud. “Transfer is complete.”

“What now?” Mickey asks.

“We wait,” Ian answers.

———

“It should have worked by now, right?” Mickey asks, an edge of concern in his voice. “I mean, it’s been almost 4 months. What if like, my fuckin’ swimmers don’t work or somethin’?”

Ian tries to calm Mickey down, rubbing his arm that’s slung across Ian’s belly. It’s midnight and they really should be asleep but Mickey’s spiraling over the whole surrogacy thing.

“Mick, this is normal. We knew it could take awhile. There’s no need to freak out yet,” Ian assures. “What’s all this about, anyway? All the worry.”

“Just… I know it took a long time for me to even wanna have kids. Then you had to convince me to do this shit, to be okay with Debbie carrying my baby. Fuck, that still sounds creepy as hell. But anyway, I know I wasn’t on board with everything at first, but now? Ian, I’m so fuckin’ excited to have a baby with you. To be a dad with you. It’s just hard to wait, that’s all. And then I think… what if it doesn’t happen? What if this whole plan just fuckin’ fails? Then what?”

“Then, we come up with another plan,” Ian assures. “I wanna raise kids with you too, Mickey, so fuckin’ much. I wanna give them the childhood we never got to have. I wanna take them to the beach with you, I want us to play blocks on the living room floor, and read bedtime stories together. All that shit. It’ll happen, Mickey. One way or another, we’ll make it happen.”

Ian snuggles Mickey closer, kisses him on the top of the head, and they fall asleep in each other’s arms.

They are woken up by Ian’s obnoxious ringtone at 6:00 am, well before they have to be up for work.

“Who the fuck is calling this goddamn early? Better be fuckin’ important,” Mickey grumbles while rubbing his eyes.

It’s Debbie.

“Hey, Debs!” Ian says with fake cheerfulness, still half asleep. “What’s up?”

“There’s two lines!” she screams on the other end of the phone.

“Okay?” Ian replies.

“There’s TWO lines!” she repeats, emphasizing the word two.

“I don’t know what the fuck that means, Debs. Two lines where?” Ian questions.

“On the pregnancy test, dipshit! It’s positive! I’m pregnant!” she yells.

Ian bolts upright in bed. Mickey grumbles “what the fuck” under his breath, eyes still half closed.

“Holy fuck! It’s positive?” Ian exclaims. “It worked?

Mickey’s up now too. “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Debs! Thank you! I love you! I’ll call you back later!” Ian says, unable to hold in his excitement.

He hangs up the phone. Turns and looks at Mickey. “It worked. She’s pregnant,” Ian practically whispers, unable to believe it. Ian sees tears well up in Mickey’s eyes and, for only the second time Ian has ever witnessed, they spill out onto his cheeks.

———

“Damn, you look like a beached whale, Debbie,” Mickey observes.

Debbie gives him a dirty look but chooses to keep her mouth shut.

She’s a week past her due date so they are at the clinic today to make sure everything is good. Debbie is up on the table and Ian and Mickey are sitting in the two available chairs when the doctor comes in.

“Hi, Debbie! Hi, Dads!” she says cheerfully. “So we are going to measure your belly and do a quick ultrasound just to make sure your amniotic fluid looks good.” Mickey grimaces at the term “amniotic fluid”. “I’ll have her back in a jiffy, guys!” the doctor says as she whisks Debbie out of the room.

They spent the last 6 months getting everything they needed for their new baby. Tami even threw them a shower where they got clothes, bottles, a swing, a carseat, and about a billion diapers. They decorated the nursery in light gray bedding with tiny white stars. Gender neutral because they want to be surprised. They have everything ready, all they need is the baby who is taking its sweet time.

Around 20 minutes has passed when the doctor pokes her head in the door.

“Sooo, I have some news. Debbie’s water broke while we were doing her ultrasound and her contractions started coming really fast. From what I’ve been told, her first delivery was pretty quick so we’re transporting her to the hospital just down the road, just to be safe. You are welcome to head over there now. I will be delivering so I’ll see you guys there!” and her head pops out as quickly as it appeared.

Ian and Mickey just look at each other, stunned. Finally Mickey regains his senses and breaks the silence. “Well, let’s fuckin’ go!”

They finally make it to the OB floor after a couple wrong turns inside the hospital. A nurse points them to Debbie’s room and they walk in when she’s in the middle of a pretty intense contraction. Once it subsides, she greets them and informs the epidural is on its way.

Once it’s been administered and Debbie is blissfully pain free, she asks, “Do you guys want to be in the delivery room?”

They both look at each other. “I hadn’t really thought about it,” Ian replies.

“Fuck, no,” Mickey says. “I don’t wanna see that shit.”

“Mick, you don’t have to watch. We can stand up by her head. Hold her hand. Be supportive since she’s bringing our baby into this world.” Ian turns to Debbie. “Are you sure you don’t mind? We understand if you want to keep things private.”

“Ian. I gave birth to Franny on our kitchen table in front of… like, everyone. Kev saw my vagina. V saw my vagina. Fuckin’ Sean saw my vagina. Trust me, I don’t care if you two are in the room.”

Ian looks at Mickey. “Fuck… fine. We can be in there,” Mickey relents.

A nurse comes in to check Debbie and informs her she’s 100% effaced and 10cm dilated. It’s go time. Things move at a quick pace after that. More nurses come in, turning on extra lights, bringing in supplies, wheeling in the heated bassinet.

Ian and Mickey stand side by side to Debbie’s left, Ian holding her hand, while she pushes. It’s fast. She only pushes for ten minutes before they hear cries and the doctor’s holding the baby in her hands, declaring, “it’s a girl!”

The next thing they know, a nurse is throwing a clean blanket over Mickey’s chest, and another nurse walks over and places the baby, his daughter, in his arms, blood, vernix, and all. Ian expects him to be grossed out but Mickey just stares in awe at this beautiful baby. This baby that looks like him in the face, but has a head of red hair.

Ian steps up to Mickey and wraps an arm around his shoulders, placing his other under Mickey’s arms that are holding their daughter. There is not a dry eye in the room. Ian and Mickey are crying, Debbie is crying, even the doctor and nurses are crying.

The next hour or so is spent getting the baby, and Debbie, cleaned up and dressed. They take the baby and run the normal tests and give her a vitamin k shot.

Once Debbie is in a room, the nurse brings the baby in to her dads. Ian sits in the rocking chair snuggling her while she sleeps and Mickey is right next to them.

Debbie just gazes at this new little family from her spot in bed. “So,” she finally says. “What are you naming her?”

Ian and Mickey just smile at each other before Ian responds, “Debbie, meet Margaret Laura Gallagher-Milkovich. Maggie for short.”

Debbie’s eyes tear up. “You guys gave her my middle name?”

Mickey surprisingly fields this question. “We wanted her to be named after the person that’s responsible for her bein’ here. For helping’ create her for us. I know I give you a lotta shit, but I love ya, and I appreciate the fuck outta you, Debbie.”

“Aww, Mickey, I love yo-“ she begins before being interrupted.

“Don’t get fuckin’ used to it. I’m emotional today,” he snaps with feigned grumpiness. Then smiles at her.

They let Debbie snuggle her for a bit before being released by the pediatrician to take her home. Thankfully they had already installed the infant seat in their car so they were prepared.

They walk through the door of their apartment 30 minutes later. Ian sets the carrier down and picks the baby up out of it, snuggling her tiny body to his chest before passing her off to Mickey.

“I’m not sure what you were so worried about, you’re a natural, Mickey,” Ian says as he gazes at his handsome husband tenderly cradling their beautiful baby girl.

They walk over to the sofa and sit down, thinking about the whirlwind of a day. Not knowing when they got up this morning to take Debbie to the clinic that by evening, they’d be holding their daughter in their arms.

Ian wraps Mickey’s shoulders with his arm, places his hand on their swaddled baby and says, “Welcome home, Maggie Gallagher-Milkovich. Your dads love you so much.”

[alystar00]

This will be a list of the things I said on instagram while watching Twilight for the first time in my life. I should warn you that I watched it in Italian, so I will translate the dialogues by myself back to English. I’m sorry for the inaccuracies (actually not that much).

I won’t put the pictures and I won’t probably show the actual scenes. Have fun trying to figure out the scenes. I will put some red comments when needed.

Enjoy

-

I am doing it. (For contest, until I put it on I didn’t decide if I was gonna watch it or not).

The four of them are embarassing. Update: she almost hit Jacob with the car door.

Between the dramatic fan and him like this I am laughing. No, upgrade, he’s creepy.

What does it mean he’s not there, I wanted her to confront him (I cannot really translate what I said here)

What the hell, is he in heat? He keeps looking at her like a maniac.

I didn’t really get it but. “You had black eyes and now they’re auburn.” “Yeah it’s ✨ the lamps ✨”.

In the meanwhile Edward very clever to destroy a car to save Bella- YOU COULD LITERALLY JUST PULL HER AWAY AND NOTHING ELSE, YOU DRAMATIC BITCH. 

The doctor goes directly to PTSD- yeah okay calm down

“How did you get there next to me?” THIS ONE DESTROYED A CAR WITH HIS BARE HANDS AND THAT’S WHAT YOU ASK HIM?

Ah alright she asked him now.

Edward looks like a bad boy made in a bad way, I already hate him

“To the ball. The ball where you have to dance. Yeah, it’s not for me”. Mood Bella, mood. (Spare my google translator english please)

“What are you going for in Jacksonville?” “How do you know?” “Can’t you answer my question?” “You don’t answer any of mine”. BELLA HAS A PAIR OF BRAIN CELLS THAT DO WORK. I don’t really like Edward, he’s that mysterious and ugh-

Summary of the first half hour of Twilight:

Bella: *exists* Edward: 👀

If his problem was only his change of humor dear, he’s stalking you

“And if I wasn’t the hero? And if I was instead the villain?” Dramatic bitch

She didn’t actually invite him, right? PLEASE BELLA YOU HAVE HIGHER STANDARDS

✨ You are in my reserve, Bella ✨

Jacob and his friends with long hair makes me laugh

NO BUT BOTH JACOB AND EDWARD ARE TRYING TO AVOID UNCOMFORTABLE QUESTIONS AND BELLA KEEPS ASKING BECAUSE SHE’S SO CURIOUS

The guy confused by two that appear out of nowhere is the only one that look realistic and not stupid

JaMeS dO nOt pLaY wItH tHe fOoD

Anyway I’m asking myself if she’s connecting the dots with the “The Cullens disappear when there is the sun”

They should have set it in the UK.

Bella that sneaks off in a library to avoid shopping is literally me

GO BELLA, PUNCH THEM

First good thing about Edward: he pulled out of the way there guys. THEN HE TRIED TO KILL BELLA WITH HIS SHITTY DRIVING, BUT LET’S IGNORE IT

Not him “You cannot know how disgusting their thoughts were”. But do you hear yours?

“You should give me an answer” “Yeah… no…”

“I FEEL PROTECTIVE OF YOU” BUT HOW CREEPY WAS HIM WHEN HE SAID THAT? CREEPY BITCH

“I tell you that I can read minds and you think there is something wrong with you?” Sorry Bella but this time he’s right.

“Was he killed?” “Yeah… by an animal” LIAAAAAAAAAR

She connected the dots, good girl

Creepy and spinning shot

“Say what I am” A SANITARY NAPKIIIIIIIIIN (in Italian it sounds better)

“You will not hurt me”. She’s so chill with a vampire, okay girl

“They looks like diamonds” SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOOOND

Throwing a tantrum, dramatic bitch

“I am a murderer” [...] “I trust you”. Bella please

“IT’S LIKE YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE QUALITY OF HEROIN” I’M CRYING

He’s moody, not a joke. First he says he love her. Then that she should hate him. And he jumps everywhere like a grasshopper. And he’s dramatic. My god how much I don’t stand you

I’m sorry for this commentary of Twilight but it’s like reading a cringe book and I must comment every part of it. But I must go fast because everything happens fast. Also, I am waiting for Supermassive Black Hole. (I basically watched it for this song alone, Muse is my favourite band)

He’s a special child, he's the only one that can read minds.

“CAN YOU BEHAVE LIKE A HUMAN? I HAVE NEIGHBORS”. I want a book with a human and a vampire like that

Bella that is afraid she won’t be liked by Edward’s family and him like “They’re vampires. That’s your fear?”

Okay evidently they share a brain cell and you know who’s keeping it by what they say

 “What did you expect? Coffins? Dark caves? A moat?” “Not the moat” “... Not the moat.”

Anyway, Bella already has their complexion

Jasper looks like Kylo Ren

Everyone happy beside the blond one, crying

Eris is nice (Yeah it took me the whole film to understand her name was Alice, don’t mind me. Also, in italian "Alice" is pronounced different and I am stupid)

The game of graduating, oh my God. I agree with Bella, being 17 years forever sucks.

I remembered Spiderman different

“Do you trust me?” “In theory” Mood

Well the hing with the piano was cute. Robert plays it good

“I like to watch you while you sleepy” YOU GIVE ME ANXIETY BRO

But like, the simple fact that he goes into hero room - in the last two months - and nothing else- bro no

Now they’re kissing hard

“Isn’t he too old for you?” “...No?” ;););)

HE LOADED THE RIFLE TELLING BELLA TO LET IN EDWARD, I’M CRYING

The baseball match is going to start, I was waiting for this moment

There is really Supermassive Black Hole here, I’m crying

The drama of all this match

What are you? A boyband?

The gaze with which Bella watched Edward- she avenged every look he gave her during the film

He panicking so much oh my god

He did a really evil move, let’s hope it works

She’s so furious oh my god (the blond). Eris tho>>>

“BELLA YOU ARE MY WHOLE LIFE NOW” bro no

Effectively being three they could think they would have found her mother but okay

I’m intrigued, I want to see what happens now

“I do not regret the decisions that  have brought me this far [...] They also brought me to Edward” If you’re happy sis

He’s creepy but he intrigues me

The action scenes make me laugh, they look like looney tunes ones sometimes please

It’s all so dramatic. No but it’s them that are cringe, dad vampire and Eris are sensible. Also the bad guys.

They invented that she fell out of the window and she was like “typical of me”. How badly you are that such a thing is plausible?

Oh my god she fell in love badly. 

Normal life is too mainstream, what can I say

No but they paid him 20 dollars to say her that they keep an eye on her? Alright?

THEY PAID HIM TO MAKE HIM A MESSENGER, IT’S ALREADY FUNNY LIKE THIS

They just took a picture. In this version vampires are photogenic? Mhmmm

Well it’s clever to take her up and dance with her keeping her like this. Especially if she can’t dance and if she put on weight. Well, it’s a clever idea, do it more often.

Anyway “I won’t be the one who will take away you like” Drrrrrrrrama

My DrEaM iS tO aLwAyS bE WiTh yOu

I don’t believe he will bite her

In fact he did not bite her, tactic kiss on the neck

Well, they do a good couple. Shared braincell etc etc

Hi Victoria

I FINISHED IT

-

I have also commented the whole New Moon film but I don't know if I will put it here. Let's see

[sevlgi]

believe

requested: no

group: blackpink

pairing: jisoo x fem!reader

genre: fluff

contents: guardian angel!jisoo, near death instances, unlucky reader. [22/33].

warnings: none

synopsis: You’ve never believed in guardian angels, but that just might change when you’re saved from certain death 3 times in one week.

a/n: idk if I’ve ever seen anyone do a similar au... tell me if you have! also i’m actually hella proud of this one lmao

word count: 1.8k

Do guardian angels exist?

Well, that’s a subjective question, and there really isn’t a yes or no answer... But if yours does, they’re doing the shittiest job of the century.

The amount of times you’ve been hurt in the past, both physically and emotionally, is stupidly high. You’ve always had an aptitude for getting injured, stories of broken bones and gashes making up basically half of your entire life. Your friends and family pride themselves on having a fully loaded arsenal of embarrassing tales, practically making it a rite of passage to visit the hospital with you. And don’t even mention the heartbreaks- those just seem to follow you wherever you go.

When you move to a different city for what must be the 10th time, you vow that it’s going to be different, no matter how obvious it is that it won’t. You vow that there aren’t going to be any incidents that land you in the hospital, nor any relationships that just end in chaos.

Suffice to say, all of that goes haywire on your first day in town.

Without a car to drive you to work or any friends to hitchhike off of, you take the subway, line #224 to Solace Building. There just so happens to be a new girl group song you’re obsessed with, blasting on the highest possible volume in your earbuds, when you’re shoved from the back right into the subway tracks. “Fu-”

Time slows down as you start to fall, the dusty railways coming too close to your face for comfort before a warm hand wraps around yours, the socket of your arm straining to carry your entire weight as you’re jerked back sharply.

You collide with a warm body, soft curves lessening the impact and delicate, impossibly strong hands steadying you on either side of your waist. By all logic, you should’ve knocked your savior over, should be sprawled on the ground right now with dirty palms and a heat-flushed face. “Are you okay?”

When you step back sharply, you’re met with the sight of the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen in your life. Her heart-shaped smile and delicate features are framed with cascading brown hair, and she has ethereally flawless porcelain skin. She’s the kind of beautiful that makes the plainest outfit look designer, that could make you believe sea glass to be pure diamond. “Uh. Y-yeah. I’m good.”

“I’m glad,” she chuckles, smiling even wider and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Maybe she doesn’t realize the effect she has on you, humming as she dusts something invisible off your bag. “You should be more careful, Y/N, wouldn’t want someone as pretty as you being killed by a train.”

If it was anyone else, the words would sound creepy, especially with the added factor of the girl knowing your name. “How-- how do you know who I am?”

She juts her lips at the card hanging off your bag, your name written in big, bold letters. “Nametag. Y/N Y/L/N, employee in Solace Building?”

To hide the heat in your cheeks, you look to the floor and stutter out, “Well. Since you know my name, uh, isn’t it fitting that I know yours?”

It’s not nearly as smooth as you’d like it to be-- usually, the natural flirt in you would’ve made an appearance-- but the petite brunette extends a hand, tipped with gentle pink nails. “Jisoo. Kim Jisoo, if that’s helpful at all.”

Your next words are interrupted by your train arriving; when Jisoo doesn’t follow you on, you turn to look at her with your eyebrow quirked. “Are you...?”

“Not my train,” she smiles, shaking her head, even though it’s the only one arriving for hours where she stands. “Good to meet you, Y/N. Stay out of trouble!”

It’s an odd way to end a first meeting, but you don’t think much of it as you grab the nearest seat and pull out your phone to search her up. K-I-M J-I-S-O-O, you type, eyes scanning the screen fervently as the train starts.

Plenty of people show up-- after all, Kim Jisoo is not a rare name-- but none of the dozens of profiles you click through are the beautiful girl who saved your life. It’s too late when you look back out the window towards the station, the only thing you see becoming brick wall.

The next time you almost die, you’re just walking to the coffee shop across from your apartment.

The activity should be safe, considering that not many people in the area own cars. At first, you think you are safe, crossing the silent street with no problem and receiving your usual order just fine; you’re on your way back to your lonely little apartment when you hear the screeching of car tires on the road.

“Watch out!” someone screams, but you’re frozen in the middle of the crosswalk. You forget how there wasn’t a single car in the street when you were crossing as you stare at the grill coming close. The car doesn’t stop or slow down, and you scrunch your eyes shut with your arms raised up, just waiting for the impact.

It never comes. When you hesitantly open your eyes again, you find a familiar figure standing in front of you, the force of her hand having knocked your coffee onto your blouse. The car bumper is pressing into her bare leg, which is miraculously clean of a scratch or bruise, but she doesn’t seem to notice as she turns to grin at you.

“Sorry, I ruined your coffee,” Jisoo frowns, her hand coming up to almost touch the steaming stain on your chest. You stare at her mutely, following obediently when she grabs your wrist and pulls you back to the coffee shop. “Can I buy you another one?” she offers, plucking a napkin off a street-side table.

“Kim Jisoo?” you say disbelievingly, not even feeling it as she dabs the coffee away. “You again?”

“Me again,” she confirms, pulling some more napkins out of her purse with a smile on her face. “I hope you’re not disappointed; after all, I just saved you from dying. Again.”

“No, that’s not...” Taking a deep breath, you smile too, wrapping your fingers around her hand to gently brush her off. “It’s okay. I’m glad to see you, actually-- I searched for your profile to thank you, but I couldn’t find anything.”

Jisoo shrugs, opening the door to the coffee shop for you. “Oh, I’m not really on social media. If you wanted my number, you could’ve just asked.”

You laugh lightly, tossing the crushed cup in your hand into the trash. Of course it’s odd that she isn’t on social media in the 21st century-- with her face, you’d expect Jisoo to be a major influencer. “Then I’ll ask for it. Later.”

“Of course. Order what you want, I owe you one after all that,” she offers, plucking a couple loose 20 dollar bills out of her purse.

Once again, you’re faced with another weird habit of hers, but you order anyway and thank her after she pays. Before you can say anything else, though, she gets a text and frowns at her phone. “Oh, sorry, I have to go. Catch you next time?”

“Sure,” you answer, forgetting to tell her that she still forgot to give you her number. You stand dumbly on the sidewalk and watch her go, taking a deep breath and looking both ways before you set off towards your apartment for the second time that day.

Maybe next time?

The third, and hopefully last time, is the absolute weirdest of all. 

You seem to have a thing for being knocked into ditches-- this time, a group of teenagers barrels into you while you’re walking by the side of the only river in your entire city. You open your mouth to tell them off, but before you can, an especially hard shove from an stocky little boy pushes you right into the water.

Luckily, the fall isn’t high, so you don’t hit the water with much force, but the boats cruising along and the recently terrible weather stir the current strong enough to pull you right under. In the icy water, you feel your fingers let go of the phone in your hand, your lungs slowly being crushed by the pressure of your surroundings.

It’s hard to tell how much time passes while you’re in the water. From what your doctors have told you, trauma is difficult to remember clearly for a while, but you vaguely feel hands linking in front of your chest and forearms bracing under your armpits to drag you out of the water.

The heat of the summer sun warms the stone under your back and you can hear whispers sounding around you as you flop onto the floor. Hands push hard on your breastbone, once, twice-

After maybe 30 pushes, fingers pinch your nose, and soft lips meet yours. It feels more like a kiss than CPR, no air really being blown into your mouth, but nonetheless, you feel water leaving your lungs, and you open your eyes in shock, coughing out loud.

To your (somewhat) shock, it’s the same girl hovering over you. Jisoo’s skirt is wet at her knees where she kneels beside you, her hands still hovering over your chest. She must’ve been the one giving CPR, then. Sitting up, you hack violently until most of the water’s out of your lungs, the other girl waving away all of the spectators. “How’re you feeling?” she asks, once you’re alone on the sidewalk.

Your hands move faster than your brain, pulling her forward by the nape of her neck until you kiss again, something about her tasting familiar in a way you can’t quite place. “Who are you?” you breathe once you’ve pulled away, searching her warm eyes for an answer.

She smiles again, handing you your miraculously dry phone instead of answering. It should be waterlogged and dead, but nothing seems to make sense when concered with Kim Jisoo. “How about you take me for dinner or something before asking the serious questions? Soup should be good to warm you up.”

Hand clasping in hers, you’re pulled to your feet with strength that doesn’t match her petite stature. You barely remember that you look like an almost-drowned rat, your lips purple with cold and your hair stringy with icy water. “Sure. Soup. But you need to answer me first.”

She exhales, hitching her bag higher up on her arm. “I’d say I’m your guardian angel, but you wouldn’t believe that, would you?”

“I wouldn’t,” you answer, eyes narrowing as you follow her down the street. “But maybe you can convince me. Over soup.”

[fairymadnessyeah]

BNHA Ship to Finish the Year

FuyuSei (Todoroki Fuyumi x Iida Tensei)

Canon

I think that they would either meet by Shouto and Tenya or at the hospital.

If it was at the hospital, it would be a chance meeting. Fuyumi is visiting her mom, and Tensei is going to physical therapy. They meet in the lobby and start talking.

Present Mic and Nemuri are the ones who encourage him to ask her out. -PS: None of them knows she is the daughter of Enji yet.- After he does and they date for a few weeks, he shows them a picture, and the two almost have a heart attack. They don't know how to tell him, until Shouta comes along and says it.

If they meet by Shouto and Tenya, it probably would be at a Sport Festival or Cultural Festival. They would start talking, and Nemuri would ask Fuyumi out for him. She says yes, and they exchange numbers.

Imagine if Natsuo is there: "I got the snacks. What's that?" "Oh, a phone number. I have a date this Saturday," "I- I left for five minutes!"

I feel like he would stop by her school every time he can and her students know him as wheelchair boyfriend.

And speaking of wheelchairs, Tensei sometimes feels like he is not enough for Fuyumi. He can't take her dancing or ice-skating.

Fuyumi doesn't care about it. He loves Tensei for who he is, and that is enough for her.

On her birthday, he takes her to see the Winter Illumination events, and even takes her to see ice-sculptors at a festival.

He likes to carry her on his lap and then accelerate with his quirk. He especially does it when the sakura trees are blooming, so it's more romantic. 

Also, she sits on his lap when it's hot, since she is always cold.

I don't want to break anybody's bubble but these two one hell of an age gap.

Like Tensei is 31 and Fuyumi is 23.

He is eight years older than her. That's more than Shigaraki and Toga have on each other.

Am I the first one to notice this?

I feel like it should be a big deal. Like when Tensei was eighteen, Fuyumi was ten. 

I feel like his parents would make fun of him for that. Calling him a creepy old man.

I also feel, since Tensei appeared in vigilantes, that he has a lot of vigilante friends, and one time, they all meet Fuyumi.

I feel like they would like her more than her boyfriend.

Also, he likes her cooking much more than anything else he has ever eaten before. But don't tell his mom.

Family

There is only one rule that all Todoroki men share and respect: Fuyumi needs to be protected. They don't give a crap if the guy is a retired hero, or the brother of a friend, or in a wheelchair, they won't let him hurt Fuyumi.

The first months of dating, Tensei doesn't feel safe. Like someone is staring at his back with murderous intent. He can't pin-point which Todoroki is, but his money is on Endeavour.

Actually it's all of them. They take turns keeping watch. One time, they all ended doing it at the same time. It was awkward at first, but they found a way to make it work and not kill each other.

Every single Todoroki has threatened him.

Dabi, with the help of Toga, cornered him in an alley and placed him on the floor and stepped on him.

"If you hurt sister, I'm going to finish what Stain couldn't do..."

Natsuo did it during a family dinner. He smiled and at first appeared very polite, but when Fuyumi wasn't there, the smile was gone.

"I am a doctor, you think I don't know how to get rid of you and make it look like it happened naturally?"

Enji went to meet him at his apartment. He knocked on the door asked him a few question. Tensei went along, answering everything politely, and then got the message by the last question.

"How much heat will it take for that wheelchair to melt with you in it?"

Shouto was more surprising. He called Tensei with his brother's phone and only said one thing before he hung up.

"I don't care if you are Tenya's brother's, if you don't make my sister happy, I will end you," 

I feel like Rei wouldn't be okay with the idea until she sees that Tensei is defensless in a wheelchair. 

I know it's a bad thought, and Rei knows so, but after everything she went through, you can't blame the woman for it. Her daughter is with a HERO. At least, if he is in a wheelchair, she can do better to survive.

Tenya loves his new sister. He hasn't seen his brother so happy since the accident, and he always wanted a sister. 

The Iida's love her.

She is an angel in their eyes. Their son is in such good hands.

I feel like they would have two kids. First a girl Iida Fubuki, a girl, and then Iida Kaen, a boy.

Fubuki has blue hair with white highlights. Her name means blizzard in Japanese and her quirk is that she has engine pipes on her wrist that shoot dry ice.

Kaen has blue hair with red highlights. His name means Flame Thrower in Japanese and his quirk is that he has engine pipes on his ankles that shoot flames.

Neither of them become heroes. I feel like both families give them enough reasons not to follow that career.

Fubuki becomes an ice skater, using her quirk for presentations and speed.

Kaen becomes a musician. A hard, metal punk rocker and uses his quirk for shows. He was closer to Dabi than his sister. 

AU - Fantasy AU 

So, Fuyumi is a princess. Because, of course, she is. 

Tensei is a knight, and he comes from a long line of knights.

One day, her life is threatened by a new rogue called Stain, who is killing off noble families and royals.

Tensei is tasked with protecting the princess at all cost. But it's a harder task than he originally thought.

His job was to stick by the princess side as much as he could, but on his second day, he lost her. 

He found her later on a hut on the countryside, teaching young girls how to read and write and other basic knowledge. She wears a disguise, so others don't recognize her. With a tattered dress and a spell to make her hair black, she is unrecognizable.

Tensei doesn't stop her from doing it when he finds out and instead helps her sneak out and helps with the angry sexist man that come around.

It all goes well until Stain attacks.

He ambushes them on the road, and the only reason that they survive is that Fuyu shows Stain she is not like other royals.

As Tensei was trying to protect her and getting in the way, the rogue was going to kill him. But before he can, Fuyumi gets in the way, pleading that he lets Tensei live.

Stain leaves and Tensei and Fuyumi are alright.

When they return to the castle though, Tensei is looked down with dishonour by the rest of the court. He is fired from his job as a knight with the princess, but Fuyumi then hires him back again. 

The two continue to spend time together, and all seems happy. But then, Fuyumi is betrothed.

Tensei tries to handle it with dignity since he is only a knight and knew in the back of his mind, that Fuyumi would get married one day. But he is a jealous mess when the fiance arrives.

He follows them around, stops them whenever they get too close and intervenes whenever the man makes a move on her.

Fuyumi, though grateful, has to ask him to stop. Because even if she would prefer it was him, she is marrying, if he angers her fiance, they are going to behead him.

They don't have to worry about it though, because, before the wedding, the lost prince Touya returns and takes the throne. 

However, even if Dabi, now the new king, breaks her marriage off with her betrothed, Fuyumi doesn't like how much he is ruling.

The two get in a fight, and Dabi tells her that if she doesn't like it, then she can leave. He won't stop her.

The next day, Fuyumi starts packing. She tells Tensei that he can stay if he wants, he doesn't have to follow her.

Tensei confesses his feelings for her and then starts packing. 

They leave a week after and they settle on a farming land where Fuyumi opens a school for girls and Tensei hunts and collects stuff to sell.

Fanon Oponion

So, again, I can't see these two having sex.

I just can't.

I don't know why. And AO3 seems to agree with me since I found 3 where they have sex, and it's not just mentioned. 

One was a Fuyubowl, the other was a crackfic, and the last one traumatized me.

For the most part, they are a background couple.

And not in the way Hagakure and Ojiro are a couple where you might find more than 10 fics about them, but as 'we don't want Fuyumi to be alone, so in this fic she is with Tensei.'

I feel like they are underappreciated, especially Fuyumi.

Girl is still holding on after the shitty situation she is in. She is the only sane Todoroki in here. 

And poor Tensei. He didn't deserve what happened to him. Stain didn't have a very clear objective.

There's also the fact that not much is known about them.

Like Tensei has not been mentioned since the stain arc.

They are just there...

But people love making next-gen kids with them.

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Chapters 25-27

This is the first leg of the “D” arc.   I had originally planned on trying to do the whole thing in one post, but it’s pretty long and meanders in places, so instead I’m going to break it up, starting with the part that wraps up volume 4 of the collected editions.

Much of these first three chapters just showcases Millennium preparing to depart their secret headquarters in Brazil.  They have three blimps, maybe more.   We already saw the Graf Zeppelin III, but there’s also a Graf Zeppelin II and a Hindenberg II.   Also, the Major refers to all of this as “Operation Sea Lion 2″.  The original “Operation Sea Lion” was Nazi Germany’s plan to invade the U.K. during World War II.   It was never enacted, however, because the Germans couldn’t establish air and naval superiority over the British.  Basically, the Major is declaring that he has finally achieved what Hilter could not, thanks to his “Last Battalion” of 1000 vampire soldiers.

The bridge of his flagship (flagblimp) has this big comfy chair on a robot arm, and a panoramic world map.   The arrows on the map point in all sorts of nutty directions, including the United States and other European nations.   I could have sworn I had heard some mention in Hellsing Ultimate of Millennium sending forces to the U.S., but the international angle was never mentioned again, and I assumed that I must have imagined it.  In any event, the Major made it clear that his target is Alucard specifically, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense to invade places where Alucard is not.

The Major prepares to take his seat only to find Warrant Officer Schrödinger sitting in his chair.   Remember, Schrödinger inexplicably teleported himself to London to address Hellsing and Iscariot, and then he got shot and killed for his trouble.   But now he’s back, alive and well.   He mocks the Major for being to slow, and the Doctor scolds him for his insolence, but the Major orders Doc to back off.   This is a running gag throughout the rest of the series.  The Doctor keeps trying to chastise Schrödinger, but the Major lets him do whatever the boy wants, almost like he’s some favorite pet.  

Meanwhile, an unidentified helicopter tries to land on a British carrier, the H.M.S. Eagle.   The Captain orders his crew to open fire, but the first officer suddenly does this:

So yeah, the first officer is a vampire now, and he’s sold out Queen and Country for Millennium.  He and a handful of vampire crewmen kill the rest of the crew and turn them all into ghouls, allowing the helicopter to land, making way for...

This lady, Lieutenant Rip Van Winkle.  I should point out that in the pages leading up to her boarding the Eagle, she was singing Engelandlied, a German war anthem from World War I.   She’s nutty, is the idea.

So, I’m gonna go ahead and put forth my fan theory that all the bad guys we dealt with prior to Rip were just patsies for Millennium, and not actual members in their own right.   This includes Tubalcain “Dandyman” Alahambra, because, for all his powers, no one ever said his rank, leading me to think he didn’t have one.   Same with the Valentine Brothers and any of the vampires Alucard and Seras were sent to fight during the first dozen or so chapters of this manga.   Millennium may have turned them into vampires, and in some cases they even let them in on Millennium’s inner workings, but they were never more than cannon fodder.   Jan seemed to understand this, although Luke and Dandyman seemed to believe they were genuinely created to represent the new pinnacle of vampiric power.   Even the Doctor thought Dandyman had a strong chance of beating Alucard, but in the end they were just experiments meant to test Alucard’s mettle.

And, really, the rest of Millennium is not much different, except Rip and the others actually know why they’re being sacrificed, even if they don’t necessarily understand how or when.

Meanwhile, Seras still won’t drink blood, and she keeps trying to eat regular food instead, even though she struggles to swallow every bite.   I’ve never been very clear on whether vampires in Hellsing can eat non-blood food or not.  Seras is doing it, albeit painfully, but I don’t think she really gains anything from it, except whatever coping mechanism this is supposed to serve.   

So in walks Sir Integra, who dumps a bag of medical blood on her table.  Seras never really answers Integra’s question, but she already told Walter, and it’s not much of an answer.   The heart of the matter is this: Seras really doesn’t want to be a vampire.   Or, maybe, more accurately, she doesn’t want to stop being human.   The trouble is that she already lost that battle way back in Chapter 1. 

In many ways, Seras has accepted her fate.   She works for Hellsing, recognizes Alucard as her vampire master, and so on.  I think she understands that this is the only life she can have now, and her will to live is strong enough that she appreciates what Alucard and Integra have done for her.    At her core, Seras is a public servant, and fighting monsters for Hellsing is not so different from fighting crime as a policewoman.  I think she sees her current condition as a means to that end.   She doesn’t crave power like the evil vampires we’ve seen thus far.    Seras views her abilities as a means to an end.   Alucard biting her gave her a way to stay alive and continue fighting the good fight.

However, she doesn’t want the baggage that goes along with that.   She wants to retain as much of her humanity as she can, and drinking blood is the one thing that she has some control over, or so she believes.

But Integra’s far too practical for that dilemma.   Alucard was willing to respect Seras’ relucatance, but she needs her troops on their toes and ready for action.  So she takes a knife and cuts open her finger, and then orders Seras to lick the blood off.    This is... disturbingly sexual, and one of a number of scenes that reminds me that Hirano Kouta had done a lot of, er, adult comics before Hellsing.   I think he did a lot of uniform fetishy stuff too, which is why Seras and Schrödinger’s uniforms look so similar to each other.   Both are meant to resemble German WWII gear.   I’m willing to grant some leeway here, because there’s probably only so many ways to do a finger-licking scene like this without sexualizing it a little, but the last bit with the saliva trail is just revolting. 

So, what’s bugged me for a long time was that if Seras drank (a little) of Integra’s blood here, why did this subplot not get paid off until much later in the story?  She drank blood, didn’t she?   Well, yeah, but Integra ordered her to do it, so it doesn’t count.   This came up a couple of times earlier in the story, when Walter and Al mentioned that she wouldn’t drink blood willingly.  It’s not just an ethical issue for Seras, or she’d simply chow down on the medical blood.  I guess Integra could force feed her every night, but that wouldn’t solve anything.   This is about Seras accepting her transformation as a fait accompli.   I think this is why she very nearly drank Alucard’s blood back in Northern Ireland, when it sure looked like there was no other way for her to survive.  But if she’s just sitting there with no one making her do it, and no urgent need to do it, she’ll refuse every time.  

I think Hellsing uses the premise that a vampire has to do more than just bite a human to turn them into a vampire.  That is, Alucard had to put his own blood in Seras’ body to complete that transformation.   I think that’s how it worked in the Dracula novel, and Seras herself mentions it in the Gonzoverse anime.   But that wouldn’t count either, because it’s part of the change itself.  The idea is for the new vampire to partake in blood-drinking by choice, and until that happens, they won’t get all the cool powers.   

One other thing, Integra takes this opportunity to mention that she’s a virgin, which is a weird flex for this situation, but okay.  In Hellsing, that means Integra could become a vampire herself, but not if Seras bites her, because it has to be a vampire of the opposite sex.   In any case, Tegs warns Seras not to bite down during this creepy finger-licking KFC-hentai thing.   

Back in the damn ocean, Lt. Rip van Winkle is welcomed aboard by the traitorous crew of the Eagle.   She asks them how it feels to be a vampire, and causally reminds them of their treachery.   Then she gives them new orders, which are to die by her magic gun, which fires a bullet that can turn around in midair.

And so the First Officer and his lackeys learn the same lesson as the Brazillians working for the Dandyman, and the Dandyman himself, and the Valentine Brothers and whoever else.  Millennium might turn you into a vampire, but that hardly means that you’ll live forever.   Millennium always demands treason as payment for their help, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they might betray you sooner or later.

Besides, Rip doesn’t need the British crew, because she has her own henchman on board her chopper.   While she waits for them to wake up, she paints a swastika on the deck, just to make it clear that they’ve taken control of the Eagle, which she renames the Adler.  That’s German for “Eagle”, you see.

Back on his blimp, the Major cuts this twenty-minute promo which basically amounts to “I love war, we have no particular agenda except to wage endless war for the fun of it.”   Back in England, Alucard is eagerly awaiting their arrival.  

[trellanyx]

your jonathan crane (who i love so very much) and numbers 1 through... oh, lets say 25 ;)

(Send me a character and a number)

Have I told you how much I love you lately, Lizard? Because I do. Oh yes I do. 😂

Word vomiting about my Jon in 3, 2, 1...

1) Something this character is truly proud of.

His work, of course. Not just the toxin, but the breadth of his knowledge, his experiments, his successes and vengeances. Jonathan is an expert in his field, and considering what he went through to get there he’s damn proud of it.

2) Who they want to please the most.

Jonathan Crane does not give a single solitary fuck about what anyone thinks of him. The only satisfaction he cares about is his own. Considering how high his standards are, that’s a big enough challenge already.

3) Who depends on them.

No one. Jon may make you think you need him if that serves his end goal, but other than that he keeps his distance. If you’re in a position where you actually depend on Jonathan Crane’s services, you’re fucked.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live.

Work feverishly to A) preserve his work and B) push it as far as it can go before his body betrays him. Jon would be pulling such long, intense hours that it’s quite possible he’d drop dead before the month was up from sheer exhaustion. If he doesn’t, then he takes his magnum opus and goes out with a hell of a bang.

5) A cherished personal belonging.

Nothing. He has things he likes more than most: a tortoiseshell watch, a spring-loaded gun, his sturdiest boots, his sharpest scythe - the whole fear gauntlet, actually, impractical as it was - but nothing he’d go as far as to say he cherishes. Everything Jon owns is expendable, and no matter how attached he might be to something, there’s nothing he wouldn’t chuck in a fire instantly if he needed to. 

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back.

“Unlimited access to test subjects wrapped in a stable paycheck. Arkham’s much more fun on the other side of the straitjacket.”

7) This character’s favorite character

I give up. It’s been days. Days that this post has sat in my drafts while I tried to think of this asshole’s favorite character, and I’ve got nothing. I’ve come up with a couple of disparate headcanons involving Jon and fiction in general, but I have no answer for this one. I offer this as a placeholder: “He doesn’t have any because he’s a contrary and insufferable bastard.”

8) What kind of car they would drive.

Dark, boring, older than sin. The gas pedal is the most abused piece of equipment in South Gotham. There’s a stain on the backseat floor that Jon says is coffee, and no one is brave enough to question him. Edward refuses to be seen dead in it. One day Jon’s gonna take that as a challenge.

9) What calms them when they are upset.

It really depends on the type of distress that it is. The basic scale is this:

Drumming his nails against things, or just tapping against the nearest flat surface if his nails aren’t long enough. (Common response to most grievances.)

Stepping outside for a smoke. He goes back inside when he either feels better or runs out of cigarettes.

Pacing inside or stalking through the streets like he’s on his way to kill somebody, taking small, petty pleasure watching people jump out of his way.

Stewing in a corner with a bottle of strong alcohol.

Actually killing somebody.

10) How they deal with pain.

Grits his teeth and bears it. The first lesson he ever learned.

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing.

As Scarecrow: His plague doctor mask, which replaced the traditional burlap after he stopped being able to feel fear.

As Jon: Custom winter gloves with longer fingers to accommodate his nails in the winter.

12) How they sleep.

I’ve talked about this before, actually! Here’s the quote:

Since he suffers from chronic insomnia and chronic I Have No Idea What Healthy Habits Look Like, Jonathan doesn’t go to bed very often. He’s more likely to pass out wherever he is - couch, desk, once on a morgue slab (don’t ask)… But when he does sleep in a bed, he tosses and turns a ridiculous amount. It’s not that he’s having nightmares (though with the way he moves, how could you tell), he just has a hard time getting comfortable. He’ll turn over at least 3-6 times before falling asleep, and he’ll keep shifting even after he does. It’s very common for Jonathan to fall asleep with three blankets and wake up with only one.

13) What kind of parent they would be.

*hysterical laughter* NO.

14) How they did in school.

He struggled with it a lot. Not because of a lack of intelligence or drive, but because:

Constant undernourishment and late night punishments made it difficult for Jon to stay awake in class. (His insomnia didn’t develop until he was in his early 20s.)

His homework was often late or mediocre because Jon did it after being beaten or kept busy with his grandmother’s laborious demands, if he was in a state to do it at all.

Jon’s glasses were almost never up to date. Constant squinting compounded by what Jon now knows were chronic migraines made class not only difficult to concentrate on, but physically painful.

Bullying. I don’t think I need to elaborate there.

Jon barely eked out a GPA high enough to get him into a local community college with the help of a scholarship targeted toward low-income families. Once his grandmother and bullies “helpfully” left the picture and Jon could focus on eliminating the obstacles above, he threw himself into his studies like a man possessed, and by the time he graduated, he’d secured himself entry to a post-baccalaureate program in Gotham. He used that as a stepping stone to med school and the rest is history.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use.

Jon doesn’t like either. His only indulgence in the smell department is almond-scented soap.

16) Their sexuality.

It varies depending on what version of him I’m playing, but it’s always either bi or gay.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke.

Something slow, creepy and mournful, probably not even on the set list, while he stares at you unblinking and makes you regret every decision in your life that helped force him onstage. You don’t ask for an encore.

18) Special talents they have.

Jon is double-jointed, a great whistler, sews all his costumes and is an adequate mechanic. See the “should be dead twelve times over” car he still drives. He’s also a better swimmer than people give him credit for, something that’s saved his life more than once.

19) When they feel safest.

In front of a fireplace. Jon can’t really explain it, nor does it make sense considering how much he hates heat in general. But there’s something about sitting in front of a fire that really relaxes him. (Don’t bother with the scarecrow/fire jokes, he’s heard them all.)

20) Household chore they hate the most.

Bathrooms.

21) Their fondest childhood memory.

“Killing them.”

22) How they spend their money.

Books, chemicals, caffeine, alcohol, weapons. And then living essentials. Maybe. Depends on how low he is on nicotine. (Jon’s spending habits are so predictable it became a running joke on campus, what did you expect.)

23) What kind of alcohol they drink.

He’s not picky, but nothing beats a finely aged whiskey. He’s also partial to Black Russians.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves.

Useful as it can be, Jon regrets the loss of his ability to feel fear. He also wishes he didn’t get migraines so often. Nothing on the personality front, though: Jon knows what he is.

25) What other people wish they could change about them.

Oh honey, there’s not enough hours in the day to list all that.

[alexlabhont]

I didn’t mean to fall in love with you

Chapter Seven

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing:  Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes)

Genre: Canon re-write (Because I can)

Rating: Everybody’s in!

Tags: @dopeyouth​ (If anyone want to be tagged in, just tell me)

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)

CHAPTERS 

Previously

ONE-SHOTS 

Just a dance (Zoey x MC)

—————————————————————— 

“Hello?”

“Beck?” Zoey’s voice through the phone sounded scared, her walking was so strong and fast that they could hear it through the handset. It sounded as if she was running, actually. “I heard what happened. That miserable… How are you? Are you at the nursing? I’m going right now”

“No, I’m… I'm not really there…” Shit, they forgot to tell her their whereabouts… now it would be awkward.

“Did that prick send you to hospital?! God, I swear I'm killing him when I see him!”

“No. I'm not at the hospital neither…”

“Where are you, then?” Zoey was confused.

Ok, their time has come…

“I’m in Poppy's room.”

Silence. Beck could almost see her face of surprise and shock as if they were there in front of her.

“What?”

Beck waited, not knowing what to say, feeling a lot awkward.

“Ok, now I'm definitely going.”

“No!” They said quickly, hurting their rib accidentally. “Ouch!... Ouch... ouch... Please don't come…”

“And why not? Are you afraid I'll be making her uncomfortable?” Zoey ironized, making Beck sigh… Ha! They wish. It only took them to stretch their arm with their phone in that hand to make Zoey understand why she shouldn’t come.

“I WANT HIM EXPELLED! I want him so fucking far away from us that Google maps can’t be able to find him!”

“Oh my God, is that Poppy?”

“Yes…”

“I don’t pay you for making stupid questions! Just do it! Make it happen!”

The first thing Poppy did once they arrived was to call a doctor to check their rib out, it turns out it wasn’t broken, the doctor said it was just a bruised rib, although, the man also said it was better to have an X-ray to be sure. Poppy was next to them all along, asking even more questions to the doctor than Beck, observing attentive every time the doctor told her to observe, squeezing tightly their hand each time he touched their bruise to measure their pain. She was there… She really was there.

After that, Poppy locked herself in her bathroom, she needed to make a call, she said. She wasn’t counting that One could hear everything from there… Beck really wanted to apologize to the person she was talking to.

“She's been like this since half an hour ago.” Beck told Zoey.

“Who is she talking about?”

“Carleton Burnett.” Beck responded, having absolutely no clue about how to feel about it.

“He attacked my mate…! Yes, yes, my classmate, whatever. Are you up to the job or should I find someone else a lot more competent than you?”

Damn…

“Are you really telling me Poppy Min-Sinclair wants the guy who hurt you to be expelled?” Yeah, even in Zoey’s words sounded crazy.

“I don’t really think is just that…” Beck murmured, their head deep in thoughts. “But don’t worry, I'll go home as soon as I…”

The bathroom door opened, letting Poppy walk in to where Beck was. The girl looked just as fresh as how she went inside that other room the first time, as if nothing happened. That, until Poppy saw Beck on the phone.

“I…’ll call you later, ok?”

“Wait, is this Wade?” Beck frowned, why she wanted to know that?

“She is, why?” They asked, defensive.

“Gimme.” Poppy took the phone right from their hand without hesitation, she walked a few steps far from them while Beck was feeling alarmed.

“Poppy, I swear, if you yell at her…”

“Zoey?” Her voice tone was neutral, but nothing similar to the one she used to the person she called a few moments before. “First of all, I know you and I had a little encounter so I’ll making it quick. I’m taking Hughes for an X-ray, just to be sure their rib is not broken. I’ll have my assistant sending you the deets. Toodles~” And Poppy hung up, walking towards the bed to take a sit right next to them. “But first… let’s fix this mess…”

Poppy took cotton and alcohol from the little night table next to her bed, soaking it to start cleaning the little cuts and wounds on Beck's face.

“Now, I need you to stay still…” Poppy said, but the only thing Beck could think about was how close she was from them.

Her hot breath a few inches from Beck’s… there it was, that perfume, those honey eyes looking captivating while working, concentration adorning her flawless beauty. The burning feeling of alcohol in their wounds wasn’t new at all, but the gentle touch and the softness of her hands made them feel they were being taking care by an angel.

“I couldn't reach out sooner…” she murmured, Poppy hadn’t look at Beck to the eyes, but they were aware of every detail of her face. She did feel bad for it. “I saw you from afar… Why didn't you defend yourself at first?”

“What for?” their answer brought a frown from her, but they continued. “If there’s something I've learned from back home is that… sometimes, it gets worse when you fight back.”

“Why is that?” She asked, still frowning while taking care Beck's forehead.

“People like them have no honor whatsoever… But they have lots of friends” Beck said, a little chuckle in their voice, the good old days, right?  But the strawberry blonde bite her lower lip, understanding the meaning of what they said.

“He can try.” The death threat implied in those words was palpable, as if she could do something about it. But Beck didn’t need her protection, Beck actually hated it. They weren’t some fool who couldn’t take care of themselves, they felt unprotected, vulnerable all their life until recently times, and they weren’t going back to that.

“Why would you say so?” Beck clenched their jaw, remembering Carleton’s words. “Do you have business with him?”

“Ha! As if” She said, a weird laugh coming out of her.

“Really? Because I believe this was because of you.” Shit, that sounded bad, even their voice came out as from rancor. Poppy noticed that, moving off from them as if Beck was spitting acid.

“Are you really fucking blaming me?”

“Of course not!” Beck responded as fast as they could but it was too late, they already could see the harpy features transforming that lovely lady into a beast.

“You sure about that, Farmsville?” Poppy raised her eyebrow, that bitchy face of hers coming back to life. “Because it sounded like it. And you have to believe that if I wanted to make it physical it would be way, way worse than that but here you are in my room, laying on my bed because I absolutely hated to see that fucking caveman hurting you…!”

“He called you his woman!” Beck interrupted, Poppy was right in every creepy and threatening aspect, even in the actually cute parts as well, and Beck somehow knew that. They only had to remember how mad she was, the way she hugged him as if she wanted to protect them from that cretin on the floor. But then, something clicked inside their head.

And inside Poppy’s head as well.

“Wait… You were mad because he hurt me?”

“His woman?!”

Gosh… This is awkward. The whole moment and place were awkward.

“I can’t believe this.” Poppy was the first person in the room to speak after that moment of silence. “I mean, seriously what the fuck? We only had drunk sex, what? Once? Twice? My god, what a loser.”

“Did you two really had sex?” Beck asked. Well, the guy wasn’t that bad, but… No, it was pretty lame… kinda basic vibes with no spectacular thing whatsoever. Nowhere near Poppy’s inner circle, how the hell did that happen?

“I know, right? Gross. But I was kinda feeling insecure and Nobody right there was an easy and convenient target at the moment. Worse scenario ever. You so not want to see a boring Poppy.”

“What about your friends?” The only mention of them caused her to laugh in a very cold and ironic way.

“Friends? You know I don’t have any friends!” She said still laughing, the truth in her words being represented by her as a satire. “Do you realize who I am? I’m Poppy Min-Sinclair. I’m in constantly social danger, my parents, the society… This whole college! Everybody’s looking for an opportunity to take me down. To take my life down. And coming from an interracial crib, I don’t have the luxury to have friends.”

Her gaze, her posture and even the expression on her face were telling how confident she was about it. Like it was her against the world without sweating it. But the way her fingers played around with a piece of cotton and the slightly tapping from her designer shoes where saying something else.

“I also don’t need them. They’re an unnecessary hazard that will kick you the minute you left them do so.”

And, painfully, that was something Beck agreed with. They had one friend once, a best friend who became a secret lover, the only person in their life back then that was there no matter what… or so it seemed. Sooner than later, everyone in Farmsville knew about them both, and she had no remorse at all while she was throwing them under the bus. Even today, after so many years, Beck could close their eyes and listen to her call them a freak, claiming they were manipulating her, threating her to do awful things… the stupid apology after that later in the night, crying through the phone call because she got scared.

Well, yeah… Beck get that. She got scared, but Beck got the first beating of their life.

“So that’s why you want Carleton to be expelled? Because you don’t want anyone to know about you and him…”

“Oh my god, how did you even made it into top ten? Carleton is stupid. Anyone else would be a threat, but him? Please, nobody would ever believe him.”

“So why did you made that call?”

“Because I didn’t want him to hurt you anymore.”

“Me? Your so called enemy?” Ever since day one, by the way.

“Hughes, I consensually and publicly kissed you, how can you be so fucking dumb?”

Silence again, neither of them talking. Poppy trying to understand why it was such a big trouble, while Beck was trying to put the puzzle pieces in the right order, making it make sense. Because it actually did, but something inside them just won’t let them admit it all hundred percent.

“So… you like me?” Beck asked, a playful flirty grin, meant to annoy a little.

The strawberry blonde has never grunted so badly and exasperated as in that moment, but instead of a verbal reply, Poppy’s hands took Beck’s neck strongly and dominant, kissing them. She was rude at first, an angry, reassurance kiss, tasting just as how a “Shut the fuck up” would taste. But then, it became sweeter, it became intoxicating; those soft lips caressing theirs, sucking, biting… Beck’s arms looped around Poppy’s waist, feeling her coming closer to them, letting herself go in their mouth, savoring the moment, their lips just as much as they were doing it.

Gosh… Beck really wanted this…

Poppy slowly break apart, but they didn’t want it to be over just yet. Just a little more, please… they needed to feel that kind of warm in their chest a little longer. So it was their turn to kiss her again, and so they did, taking Poppy by surprise for a second, second that was used by her to move her fingers to their face, squishing a bit their cheeks, smiling against Beck’s lips, over and over, until the moment became one of those ones when you don’t actually know why, but you want so badly to laugh, to be happy in that fraction of time. And you are. So you chuckle despite the pain in your rib, both were chuckling, connected.

“Come one, Tushi-face…” She whispered, the smile still in her face. “You need an X-ray.” Beck growled, just like a disgruntled puppy.

“Uhmmno… I don’t need it. I’m fine.”

“Seriously, pamper me a little and turn on your brain, would you?”

“It’s not broken at all.”  Beck said, moving a little just to stand up from the bed with difficulty. “It hurts, but is not that bad… I actually know how a broken rib feels like. I’ll be fine.” The blondie pinched the bridge of her nose, wasted. “Just trust me?”

“I actually hate your guts, Farmsville.”

----

Next

[anubislover]

Not So Easily Replaced

(Ikkaku is pissed at how idiotic her crew has been while on Amazon Lily, so she does what she's always done - vents about it to Law to let off some steam. Unfortunately, when an argument breaks out between them, she's left to wonder if she's really appreciated by her nakama)

“Ugh!” Ikkaku growled, stomping into Law’s office with his second afternoon coffee and a selection of onigiri on a tray. Normally lunch delivery wasn’t her job, but since all the men had been “too busy” fawning over the women of Amazon Lily outside, the menial task had fallen to her; otherwise their workaholic captain wouldn’t eat. “I swear, Boss, if we don’t set sail soon, I’m going to strangle every guy on board!”

“Hmmm,” Law grunted absently as he poured over his notes. Ikkaku didn’t hold his monosyllabic response against him—he’d spent the past few days fixing up that Straw Hat kid and the Fishman. On top of that, the extensive treatments had basically depleted their medical supplies, Straw Hat’s freak-out upon waking up had wrecked more than half the operatory, and the Kuja had been pretty stingy with letting them replenish their food and water from the island, so she was sure he had plenty on his mind. The dark bags under his eyes attested to that.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to vent, though. Honestly, if she didn’t, she’d probably snap and end up going on a killing spree or something. Only Bepo and Law would be spared; the Mink had no interest in human women and thus hadn’t been an obnoxious Neanderthal, and Law had been too focused on keeping his patients and crew alive to drool over Boa Hancock.

Hell, when her captain was like this, Ikkaku could literally say anything and he wouldn’t even register it. It took a lot to snap Law out of his thoughts, and he’d never really seemed to mind when she ranted at him to let off steam. Mainly because once she was done, she was usually calm enough to take care of the situation herself, leaving Law in peace and with a non-murdered crew. A happy engineer made for a happy submarine, after all.

Setting the coffee and onigiri down onto the desk, Ikkaku continued, “They act like they’ve never seen a hot chick in their lives. I mean, what am I, chopped liver? They should be thanking the gods that they get to look at my gorgeous face every damn day!” The statement was accompanied by a dramatic toss of her curly hair. When Ikkaku felt strongly about something, she tended to gesticulate a lot, and this was no exception.

“Uh huh.”

She leaned against the edge of Law’s desk, hands waving about as she ranted. “Not that I want them to start lusting after me, but it hurts a girl’s pride, ya know? They could at least acknowledge what a hot piece of ass I am instead of acting like I’m some ugly hag.” She clenched her fist as she recalled how, just that morning, Shachi and Clione had basically given a lecture to the whole crew over breakfast about the superior physique the Kuja displayed compared to the average woman. There had been charts and everything, and to her dismay the silhouette for the “average” woman looked suspiciously like her.

“And that’s not the end of it!” she rambled on, smacking her hand against the desk for emphasis. “When I’m not ignored or insulted, they try to convince me to go out into the jungle to talk to the Kuja for them! I mean, I’m probably the one least likely to be killed outright, but it’s not guaranteed! They might fill me with arrows just for being affiliated with men! Are they really willing to risk my life like that?”

Her question didn’t get an answer—not because Law wasn’t paying attention, but because at that moment, her emotive gesticulating accidentally smacked her wrist into his coffee mug, knocking it over.

“Mother fucker!” Law shouted, scalding coffee spilling all over his crotch and papers.

“Oh my god, Law, I’m so sorry—”

“Will you shut up?!” he snapped, grabbing his nearby lab coat to frantically soak up the scalding coffee that had spilled across his crotch. “Don’t just stand there—get some towels!”

Nodding mutely, she ran to the en-suite bathroom and snatched up every towel she could find in the cupboard. “Here,” she said, trying to hand them to him so he could clean himself up.

“My desk, damn it! Save my notes!”

Immediately she swept the pile furthest from the spill to the floor and began patting down the desk, but she knew it was already too late; the coffee had completely soaked through several of the papers that had been strewn across the stainless steel surface.

“Law, really, I’m so sorry!” she apologized hoarsely, flinching as he turned the full force of his sleep-deprived glare upon her.

“Maybe if you’d fucking been watching what you were doing instead of ranting on and on, none of this would have happened!” he shouted, well and truly pissed. Not that she blamed him—a week’s worth of important medical and inventory notes was now a brown, sopping mess. On top of that, first-degree crotch burns would sour anyone’s mood, especially when they were only running on an average of three hours of sleep.

“It’ll be ok,” she assured, assessing the damage. To an average person, the mess was a disaster, but while the charts and notes that had been in the immediate spill zone were soaked through and ruined, many of the others could be salvaged thanks to Law’s powers. “Just Room the coffee out of the papers—”

“Do you have any idea how much time and effort you just flushed down the toilet?” he snapped, even as the familiar blue bubble filled the office. Drops of coffee were pulled from the sheets of paper like magic, but to Ikkaku’s dismay, much of the ink left behind was still smudged beyond recognition. “You’re lucky that wasn’t Mugiwara-ya’s medical file you just destroyed!”

“Law, really, I’m sorry,” she said, trying to calm him down. Her usually chill captain was far more volatile when stressed and sleep-deprived. “It was a stupid accident on my part. I’ll help you rewrite all of this.”

“Hell no,” he growled, gold eyes narrowing furiously, the tendons in his thin neck tightening as he ground his teeth together. “The last thing I need is you going on another stupid rant and ruining my notes again. Get the fuck out—I’ve got more important things to do than listen to you bitch and moan about how the guys aren’t paying attention to you.”

“Tha—that’s not what I’m angry about at all!” she snapped.

“Then what is your fucking problem?!”

“My problem is that the guys were being jackasses and I’m not appreciated around here!”

“Well if you don’t like it, leave!”

Ikkaku’s back stiffened, each syllable cutting into her heart like Law’s sharpest scalpel. Those words…it was the exact same thing her old boss would say whenever she complained about her asshole coworkers’ creepy leers or “accidental” groping. The greasy old mechanic was a sexist pig, but still the only one in that shit port that had been willing to take her on as an apprentice. It had always been an unspoken threat—if she left, no one else would hire her, so she could kiss her dreams of becoming a world-class engineer good-bye.

Trafalgar Law had changed that with his offer to join the Heart Pirates.

And now he was telling her to leave, too. To give up her dream, her nakama, and her home because she wasn’t willing to put up with a little sexism.

As if he could replace her in a heartbeat.

The thought hurt more than expected. She’d worked her ass off aboard the Polar Tang. For five years she’d toiled in the heart of the engine room, maintaining every little piece. She kept the gears turning, the motors humming, and the propellers running. Just from sound and the slightest vibrations through the ship, she knew exactly what was wrong with the engine at any given time.

Ikkaku had never asked for praise or recognition for her hard work—it was just her job. But she was as knowledgeable about the mechanisms of the submarine as Law was of the human body. She had always assumed he’d quietly acknowledged this fact and respected her for it.

Clearly, she’d been wrong.

She nearly screamed all this at him, but before she could open her mouth, the blue light of Law’s Room encased her, and in a blink, she was out in the hall, the cabin door slamming shut in her face.

Knowing better than to try and force her way back into his quarters, Ikkaku instead stormed down the steel hallway, fists clenched and muttering furiously to herself. Maybe she would leave. March right up to Boa Hancock and ask to join the Kuja. That would show them! She didn’t need Law, or the Tang, or men at all! She’d get along just fine without those jerks! Sure, Amazon Lily didn’t have any of the high-tech machinery she was used to, and working for a shichibukai wasn’t exactly something she was thrilled about, but at least they’d appreciate her, right? She had other skills—she was a hell of a tattoo artist, and was a damn fine shot, and could kickbox, and…

Her pace slowed as her heart forced her brain to accept the truth—she didn’t want to leave. She’d go crazy without machines and engines to work on. And sure, she was no slouch in a fight, but the Kuja were warrior women trained from birth. Ikkaku would look like a total weakling next to them.

And no matter how much the crew pissed her off, she wouldn’t trade her nakama for anything. Sure, they could be thoughtless jerks sometimes, but they could also be really sweet. Bepo may not have been much for girl talk, but he was always willing to lend an ear if she needed companionship. Her fellow engineers, Malamute and Skua, were dependable and shared her love of machines. Shachi was always down to help her pull a prank, and when he wasn’t drooling over the Kuja, Penguin could be counted on to talk her through her problems.

As for Law…by this point, he was more like her big brother than her actual brothers had been. They shared a similar devious sense of humor, was discreet about any feminine issues she might have that, as the ship’s doctor, he was forced to deal with, and he’d even played wingman for her a few times at the taverns they’d stopped in.

Had she just ruined all of that? Was Law just angry, or had this been coming for a long time? Law had threatened to fire her plenty of times in the past, usually in response to her back sassing him, but he’d never been serious about it. This time had been different—he’d been legitimately pissed at her. Maybe those teasing threats hadn’t been jokes, but subtle warnings, and her ruining all those papers had simply been the straw to break the camel’s back?

Ikkaku was deep in thought, mentally going over every encounter she’d had with Law with a fine-toothed comb, searching for any clue whether he seriously thought she should leave, when she quite literally bumped into Bepo.

The Mink took in her flushed, angry expression and asked, “Are you ok, Ikkaku?”

Oddly enough, it was that simple, gentle question that shattered her composure like a bullet through a bone, and without even thinking she buried her face in his soft fur and just broke down crying. “He told me to leave, Bepo,” she sobbed, scared and hurt and frustrated. For all the grief her crewmates had given her and all the dangerous positions being a pirate had put her in, Ikkaku loved being a Heart. Where would she go? She’d never find another ship like the Polar Tang. Another crew like the Heart Pirates. Another captain like Trafalgar Law.

Bepo, though shocked that the normally fiery and confident engineer was using his fur as a tissue, didn’t say anything—he just carefully rubbed her back and hoped that letting her treat him like a massive teddy bear would calm her down enough to explain what had happened.

XXX

“Ok, real talk—has anyone noticed anything…different about Ikkaku lately?” Penguin asked as he sat down to lunch.

“You’d have to actually see her to notice something,” Shachi replied, brow furrowing. He glanced over at Uni, raising an eyebrow behind his sunglasses. “You been giving her stealth lessons or something?”

Uni frowned behind his bandana. “No, but she’s definitely avoiding us. It’s been a week since we left Amazon Lily, and I can count the number of times I’ve seen her on one hand.”

“Same,” Ermine said as they finished molding Law’s onigiri into the perfect triangles the captain liked. “I actually thought we left her behind for a minute—nearly asked Jean Bart to turn the ship around to get her.”

Malamute rubbed his chin, mouth twisting in concern. “Nah, she’s here, but she’s mad at us about something—barely leaves the engine room most days, and she basically refuses to talk to me and Skua.”

His fellow engineer nodded. “We thought it might just be her time of the month, but that ended over a week ago according to the calendar.”

“You guys keep track of her menstrual cycles?” Clione asked, weirded out. The rest of the crew wore similar expressions of disbelief and disapproval.

“Out of self-preservation!” Skua shouted defensively. “We’re in a hot, confined space where she has easy access to heavy tools—of course we wanna know when we should have emergency placating chocolate on-hand!”

“We tried the chocolate anyway, though,” Malamute added. “She just…waved it away and kept working.”

The cook’s frown deepened at that bit of information. “Ikkaku never turns down chocolate,” Ermine said, “and she hasn’t shown up to lunch, dinner, or breakfast all week.”

“She’s been eating, though, right?” Penguin asked, concerned. He didn’t care how mad she was; it was no excuse to skip out on meals. It was bad enough Law was an insomniac that got most of his nutrients through coffee and onigiri. It would be a cold day in hell before he would stand for an anorexic engineer.

A large, white paw shyly raised in the air as Bepo interjected, “I’ve been bringing her meals so she doesn’t have to come by the galley. She’s…wanted some time to herself.” He dropped his head gloomily. “Sorry.”

“But she’s talked to you?”

“Ummm, a little bit,” he muttered, twiddling his claws. After she’d stopped crying, Ikkaku had spilled her guts about everything—her issues with the crew, her argument with Law, and why his words had affected her so badly. Though sympathetic, Bepo was certain Law hadn’t meant his thoughtless words—underneath his casual persona, he cared deeply about his crew and would never let any of them go for such a silly reason.

At first, Bepo’d tried to get her to go back and talk to the captain, but she’d shot that down quickly—with the mood Law had been in, it would do nothing but start another argument. The Mink had hoped that, now that they were sailing away from Amazon Lily and Law wouldn’t have to worry about Straw Hat’s injuries anymore, they’d both cool down and the whole thing would blow over.

Unfortunately, the past week had proven otherwise. Ikkaku had taken to hiding deep in the bowels of the ship, and Law had been so focused on redoing all those notes and charts that he hadn’t left his quarters in days. Bepo wasn’t a Mink who liked confrontation, and he certainly didn’t want to choose sides between his oldest friend and his favorite engineer, so he’d relegated himself to supplying food to both parties, hoping one of them would finally get tired of the oppressive silence and breach the topic.

As the crew frantically gathered around him, hoping to finally have an answer to the Mystery of the Missing Engineer, Bepo began to wonder if he should have just locked both humans in an empty room and made them talk it out.

Not that such a plan would have been very effective with Law’s powers, but it was better than nothing.

“Talk, Bepo,” Shachi growled, pulling a flashlight out of his pocket and shining it directly into the bear’s black eyes like he was in an interrogation room. “What’s up with Ikkaku?”

“Why’s she hiding from us?” Clione interjected.

“Why are you the only one she’s talking to?” added Jude.

“Is she pregnant and going through weird mood swings or something?” Skua asked loudly.

Bepo blanched at that last one. “No, she…she’s just kind of upset about…how you all acted on Amazon Lily.”

Exasperated, Ermine rolled their eyes. “What, was she jealous about all the attention we gave Hancock’s crew?”

“No, but…you guys were really insensitive. Like, that presentation—”

“It was a joke!” Shachi defended, though a guilty blush rose to his cheeks.

“And asking her to venture into the jungle to talk to the women for you—”

“Hey, she was the only one who they wouldn’t kill on-sight!” Jude sulked.

“And then she had to bring Law his lunch because you were all too busy staring at the Kuja.”

“Wow. Having to do that one menial task must have been such an inconvenience,” Malamute scoffed.

At the back of the grumbling crowd, Jean Bart awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. He hadn’t been on the crew long, so he didn’t really think it was his place to get involved, but he had the feeling Ikkaku had taken whatever had been said and done a little more personally than they thought. “Look, regardless of how we feel, we should all apologize to her. I mean, I don’t know her great, but does she usually give the silent treatment for this long?”

“Well, no,” Clione stated, looking a bit nervous. “Typically, she yells at us and smacks us around a bit, or maybe pulls some embarrassing prank, but she’s never quiet.”

“So, what’s this mean?”

“It means this is serious.” Penguin frowned at Bepo, who was looking around anxiously as if hoping to escape. “Ok, spill. You’re the only one she’s talked to, and you clearly have a better idea of what’s going on than we do. What’s Ikkaku really upset about?”

The Mink hung his head sorrowfully. “Sorry.”

“Damn it, don’t apologize! Just tell us!”

“It’s just…”

“Are you guys bullying Bepo again?” came a voice from the doorway. The crew turned to find Law strolling into the galley, looking thinner and more exhausted than usual, but he was at least out of his room and among the living.

Still shining his flashlight in Bepo’s face, Shachi yelled, “Captain! You gotta help us—Ikkaku’s basically been AWOL all week and won’t talk to anyone, and Bepo won’t tell us why!”

Law plopped into his chair and grabbed an onigiri, scoffing as he took a large bite. “She bitched at me for a while about how you all were being sexist pigs. Figured she would have gotten over it by now.”

“She complained to you about it?” Jean Bart asked, tilting his head.

“Yeah, and then she managed to spill hot coffee on my crotch and ruin the inventory list for the infirmary that I’d spent hours compiling.”

The crew unanimously gave a sympathy wince.

Taking another large bite of his lunch, Law continued, “We’ll be making port in a few days—she’ll come to her senses once she’s spent some time off the ship.”

“You…you want her to leave the ship?” Bepo asked, voice raising an octave in disbelief.

“Time apart will do us some good,” he replied with a shrug, activating his Room for a moment to remove the flashlight from Shachi’s hand.

“How…how much time?”

“Well, we’re not making port any longer than necessary. If she hasn’t gotten her shit together by then, that’s her problem.”

Bepo’s heart dropped into his stomach. What did Law mean “get her shit together”? Was he talking about packing her things? Was he really kicking her out over a silly argument over spilled coffee and ruined paperwork?

“Law!” the Mink shouted, jerking to his feet so quickly his knees knocked the table. “Please reconsider!”

Dark blue eyebrows rose at the normally soft-spoken navigator’s outburst. “There’s nothing to reconsider. Ikkaku’s a big girl—I agree that the sexism she faced was unacceptable, but she’s never had a problem handling that kind of shit herself.” His face twisted into a scowl. “And considering how I only just finished redoing all the work she destroyed, my tolerance for temper tantrums is at an all-time low.”

“She offered to help you rewrite it!” Bepo argued, slapping his paws down on the table. “Is some soggy paperwork worth losing your best engineer over?” Pausing, he glanced at Malamute and Skua. “Uh, no offense. Sorry.”

“None taken,” the duo said in unison, though their jaws dropped a second later as they registered the Mink’s words. “Wait, what?!”

“What do you mean ‘losing’ Ikkaku?” Penguin snapped, grabbing him by the orange collar of his boiler suit.

Shachi grabbed the flashlight again and climbed onto the table to shine it into Bepo’s face. “Talk, bear! Is Ikkaku quitting or something?”

“Because we won’t let her!” several of the crew shouted.

“Everybody calm down!” Law snapped, his deep voice silencing the rambunctious crew. “You all acted like idiots around the Kuja—I don’t blame her for being annoyed at you. But if your petty acts of sexism could drive her off that easily, she wouldn’t have lasted ten minutes at her old job. You’re blowing everything out of proportion.”

“You’re the one who told her to leave over a spilled cup of coffee!” Bepo angrily stated, only to immediately shrink back when he realized just who he’d yelled at. “Sorry.”

“Whoa, wait, Law, did you fire her?” Penguin asked, genuinely horrified as he numbly released Bepo’s collar. Of all the things that could have been bothering Ikkaku, that hadn’t even made his list. Sure, she could be tempestuous, but that had never bothered Law before—on the contrary, Penguin had always assumed his old friend liked trading snarky barbs with.

“I didn’t—why would I—I was just pissed because she spilled hot coffee all over crotch!” Law defended, even as he inwardly cringed at the way his entire crew had turned to glare at him judgmentally. Shachi had even turned the flashlight’s intense beam on him.

“But was that worth actually firing her over?”

“I didn’t fire her! Yeah, we argued, but I never said she was fired. At most, I told her to get the fuck out of my office.”

“That’s not all you said,” Bepo mumbled, crossing his arms stubbornly.

Flinty gold eyes narrowed at the sulking Mink. It was extremely out of character for Bepo to snap at or sass anyone—least of all Law. His brow furrowed as he thought back to his fight with Ikkaku—the memory was a bit hazy due to the lack of sleep he’d gotten. “Then what exactly did I say to her? What could have possibly been so bad that it could make her think I’m firing her?”

“You said…she told me…” Bepo took a deep breath. He hated scolding his captain, but he hated the idea of Ikkaku leaving even more, especially if this really was just a big misunderstanding. “You said to her ‘if you don’t like it, leave’.”

A sour taste worse than umeboshi filled his mouth as Law realized the full implications of what he’d said and done. He clearly remembered her old boss, a scowling, greasy man who’d shouted at her when she’d argued that she deserved to be respected as the talented engineer she was and not just seen as eye-candy.

If you don’t like it, leave, he’d sneered through crooked teeth as the other mechanics sniggered. Good luck finding anyone else willing to hire an inexperienced chick, though. Law could distinctly remember the hot surge of outrage he’d felt on the woman’s behalf; in less than ten minutes, she’d managed to identify what was wrong with the Tang’s engine and exactly how to fix it. Yet because she was the sole female in the shop—because she was a little bit different—she was overlooked and scorned, with her boss refusing to check for himself.

It had reminded Law a little too much of how quickly he’d been rejected from every hospital Cora-san had taken him to, the so-called “expert” doctors refusing to believe that Amber Lead was not contagious, or even examine the white patches across his skin.

And maybe—just maybe—the way her curly hair fanned out around her shoulders and down her back reminded him just a tiny bit of a certain black, feathered jacket.

Law hadn’t even bothered to consider whether or not the woman might want to become a pirate before he’d activated his Room and cut her boss to pieces. He’d then turned to Ikkaku, whose dark eyes had been wide with shock but not fear, and told her that if she could fix his engine as easily as she claimed, she was welcome to join his crew.

Now he stood to lose her due to his own sleep-deprived stupidity.

“…fuck.”

XXX

Down in the engine room, Ikkaku lay on her back underneath the ship’s engine, tightening the bolts that secured the freshly-cleaned cooling pipes. Since her argument with Law she’d basically spent every waking hour disassembling, repairing, and reassembling every piece she could. She trusted Skua and Malamute to take good care of the sub after she was gone, but the Polar Tang deserved nothing less than a thorough inspection and tune-up as thanks for carrying her so far.

She’d give the crew their own goodbye once they reached port. She hoped they were still too blinded by the hearts in their eyes to notice she’d been avoiding them. It wasn’t out of anger anymore; instead, she was scared she’d start blubbering. Admitting that Law had decided to toss her out on her ass was humiliating and heartbreaking, and she honestly wasn’t sure how the others would react. They could just as easily stage a mutiny as shrug it off as her overreacting.

Perhaps she was freaking out over nothing—Law hadn’t even left his room since their fight. Surely if he really wanted her gone, he could have marooned her back on Amazon Lily. Then again, he was a sadistic bastard; luring her into a false sense of security, then dumping her and her belongings onto the next port they landed on wouldn’t be entirely out of character. Or maybe her years of service had earned her enough mercy that he was willing to wait until they were at an island where Ikkaku could potentially find work instead of stranding her in the Calm Belt.

Whatever it was, she had every intention of confronting him about it after dinner. If this was all just a big misunderstanding, she planned to give him a good smack upside the head. If she was really fired, she wanted at least enough time to pack her things and say her proper goodbyes.

Until then, all she could do was stay busy to pass the time and hope that the knot of anxiety that twisted in her stomach would loosen up by the time she talked to him.

She didn’t want to leave, but if Law decided she was really that expendable, there wasn’t much she could do but try to hold onto at least a shred of dignity.

Reaching over to her tool kit, Ikkaku fished out her screwdriver, silently lamenting over the sad state of her tools. She’d planned on picking up some new ones back on Sabaody, but with all the chaos that had taken place, she’d missed her chance, and she wasn’t sure she could justify the cost now that her job was in jeopardy.

The sharp click clack of heeled boots against the metal floor startled her out of her thoughts. Glancing towards the sound, she immediately knew from the spotted jeans that filled her vision that, for better or for worse, the mystery of her termination was about to be solved.

She watched as Law turned around, and she knew from the barely-audible creek of the pipes that he had chosen to lean against them. Ikkaku had yelled at him for doing that more than a few times in the past, but this time she kept her mouth shut. Most likely he’d done it to provoke such a reaction out of her, but why? To break the viscous tension that filled the room by establishing a sense of normalcy, or so he’d have another cause to fire her?

Whatever his reason, Ikkaku refused to be the first to speak. Whether he wanted to kick her out or extend the olive branch, he’d have to make the first move.

After a few minutes of silence where Law merely stood there and Ikkaku continued to tighten the bolts, he finally sighed. “Penguin tells me that you haven’t been eating dinner with the crew,” Law’s low, nonchalant voice rumbled through the pipes.

If Penguin had to tell you, that says that you haven’t been eating with them, either, she thought sourly, though opted to stay quiet. She didn’t want to turn this into an argument if he intended to apologize. And if he planned to fire her…well, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of riling her up.

Noting her unusual silence, he continued, “I understand their behavior has been…upsetting as of late. They were acting like idiots, but that’s no reason to isolate yourself.”

“Haven’t been isolating myself,” she lied, fiddling with a bolt she’d tightened ten minutes ago. “I’ve just had work to do. The Tang needed some maintenance, so I thought I’d get it done now that we weren’t being chased by Marines.”

“Sure. And the fact that Bepo’s been bringing you your meals this past week?”

“Going to the galley would have wasted time. Eating in here was more efficient, and Bepo offered.”

“Why didn’t you ask Skua and Malamute to help?”

“You doubtin’ my abilities as an engineer, Trafalgar?” she asked in a clipped tone, growing sick of tiptoeing around the point. “Whether you like it or not, I know how this ship works better than anyone. If you don’t trust me, tell them to get their asses in here and do it instead!”

There was a deep sigh from above her, and Ikkaku could easily picture the wrinkle between his eyebrows that formed when he was tired and frustrated. “Bepo told me you’re thinking of leaving.”

Ah. The moment of truth. Heart in her throat, she forced her herself to take a deep breath, ready for whatever judgement he saw fit to pass. “You’re the one who said I should if I didn’t like how I was being treated.”

“Are you?”

“Leaving or enjoying how I’m treated?”

“Leaving.”

“…I don’t want to.”

“Good.” It was subtle, but there was an unspoken “I wouldn’t have let you if you’d tried” in his tone. There was another long moment of silence before he continued, “Engineers as skilled as you are hard to come by—finding a replacement would have been a bitch. Plus, the crew would have been upset; they were practically interrogating poor Bepo about why you were avoiding them.”

“And of course you stepped in and played hero, rescuing the helpless Mink from an angry mob?” she snipped, tightening another screw. It didn’t sound like she was getting fired, so it was a little easier to let her natural sass creep back into her voice.

Law let out a faint tch above her. “I wouldn’t say ‘helpless’ considering how he then yelled at me about allegedly firing you. After that, the mob was on his side.”

A proud grin curled the corner of Ikkaku’s mouth. Who would have thought that Bepo would yell at his best friend for little old her? She’d have to come up with a nice thank you gift for her favorite shipmate. With luck, Law might actually apologize for his behavior if even Bepo was calling him out.

Of course, that might take a while, so it was best to keep busy. Reaching out her hand, Ikkaku felt around blindly for her socket wrench. She jerked slightly in surprise when she felt long fingers wrap around her hand before the tool in question was placed firmly in her palm. She pulled her arm back, only to stare wordlessly at the brand-new wrench that practically gleamed in the light.

Clumsily she slid out from under the pipes, jaw dropping as she found Law crouching beside a new, expensive, top-of-the-line tool kit. “I was saving this for your birthday but given the chance that you wouldn’t be around to receive it…” he trailed off, adjusting his hat so the brim cast a shadow over his face.

The corners of her eyes crinkled as she smiled, immediately recognizing the gift for the chrome apology that it was. Plus, it was hard to stay mad at Law when he was like this—honestly, it was so dang cute how awkward he was when forced to display actual human emotions like caring and guilt. “You bribing me to stay, Boss?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

She laughed, grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling him in for a hug. “Then I accept, along with a twenty-percent bonus on my next paycheck.”

He grumbled slightly but didn’t refuse, nor did he pull away from her embrace, even if he stubbornly refused to return it. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t technically said “sorry”. Actions spoke a hell of a lot louder than words with him, anyway, and Law was practically groveling for her to stay.

When she finally let him go, Law stood up and cleared his throat before nonchalantly strolling towards the door. “Well then, since you’re not leaving, unless the engine room is actively on fire and no one but you can put it out, you’re eating with the crew tonight. They’ll formally apologize for their behavior, and they’re all going out of their way to show you how much you’re appreciated. Ermine’s preparing your favorite meal. Clione and Shachi have put together a presentation detailing exactly how stupid they’ve been while Penguin has one extolling your virtues. Malamute and Skua have volunteered to take on your cleaning duties for the next two weeks.”

“What are you going to do?” Ikkaku teased, though he could have said “nothing” and she’d be fine—she knew he’d never make the mistake of discarding her again.

Law stopped at the door and threw his trademark cocky smirk over his shoulder. “Isn’t it obvious? I’ll be standing by your side all night to make sure you can’t run off when you realize just how obnoxiously sentimental those idiots can be.”

Ikkaku’s grin fell a bit as she realized he was right—the Hearts were an infamous band of pirates led by a fiendishly dangerous captain, but when it came to their nakama, they could get downright sappy in extreme circumstances. Jude was probably preparing some hippy-dippy song. Cousteau would inevitably name some weird sea creature after her. Seiuchi would probably find a way to scatter confetti all over the galley and she’d be picking it out of her hair for days…

Getting up, she chased after her devious captain. “I don’t suppose there’s still time for me to quit and join the Kuja, is there?”

Gold eyes glinted sadistically at her as Law replied, “Nope. Welcome to Appreciation Hell. Population: you. Don’t try to run, either—I’ll Shambles your ass into the galley if I have to.”

Ikkaku punched his arm in retaliation, though she was careful not to hit him too hard—if she annoyed him too much, he’d go out of his way to rile the guys up even more. God, he’d probably propose they all get tattoos of her face or something just to make her suffer.

“You’re an absolute bastard,” she said, affection creeping into her voice despite her best efforts.

“Yes, but a bastard that appreciates his engineer,” Law replied, and out of the corner of her eye, Ikkaku could have sworn she saw the barest hint of a genuine smile flicker across his face.

Despite the knowledge that she’d be stuck with a crew of idiots and a captain who had the emotional range of a teaspoon and a truly frightening sense of humor, Ikkaku felt happier than she had in weeks as she playfully knocked her shoulder into his. “I guess that’s not so bad, then.”

The End

[senadimell]

DW: The Monster in the Closet

I realized while looking at a Girl in the Fireplace analysis that when Moffat involves a child in an episode, he chooses a particular set of tropes. It’s no secret he has favorite types of stories; this one I’ll call “The Monster in the Closet.” Moffat came onto Doctor Who writing Monster in the Closet stories; in fact, take a look at his first 6 stories: The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, the Girl in the Fireplace, Blink, Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead, The Eleventh Hour, and The Beast Below. With the exception of Blink, they all fall into this category. Why? More on that below, after we look at what the episodes share.

I’m including Night Terrors in this analysis because it’s so fitting: it’s literally about a monster and a closet. It’s actually written by Gatiss, but copies many of the same tropes and subverts the ending. I’m not including Listen, because I honestly don’t remember it well enough to analyze and don’t care for a re-watch just yet. Plus, I think Moffat was trying to branch out by that point.

Here’s what’s in a standard Moffat Monster in the Closet episode. 

The Child

Fake Faces

Repetition is Creepy

The Doctor’s Reputation

The Bad Guy isn’t evil, just fulfilling its nature

The child (or perceived child) is isolated from the adults in their life who should protect them but don’t realize the monsters are real. The Doctor steps in to validate them and solve figure out how to tackle their monster, who is real.

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Nancy (Jamie and the kids Nancy looks after are also contestants here.)

The Girl in the Fireplace: Reinette

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead: Cal

The Eleventh Hour: Amelia Pond

The Beast Below: Mandy (Timmy is also a contestant)

Night Terrors: George

Fake faces indicate something uncanny is occurring. The two-faced nature of the monsters suggests that the monster is not what we think it is.

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances

The Girl in the Fireplace

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead

The Beast Below: (Liz 10 also has a mask and initially comes off as sinister, and is revealed to be part of the problem by choosing ignorance)

This is a bit of a stretch, but here’s the face-changing Prisoner Zero from the Eleventh Hour: 

It’s worth noting that the Doctor had his own face change in this episode, so we’re waiting to see if he’s the genuine article or if he’s more like the monsters. 

Night Terrors. Doesn’t get creepier than this.

Repetition is creepy. This doesn’t really serve a narrative purpose beyond being creepy, other than perhaps to indicate the monster has a goal that we do not understand. When we do, we can solve the problem. This kind of reminds me of when a kid is trying to get their parent’s attention, but they’re on the phone and don’t really hear.  I find that just like fake faces, the more often this is used, the more banal I find it. 

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Creepiest thing ever

The Girl in the Fireplace: What is that mysterious ticking noise?

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead: (so much repetition here that any episode after it that uses repetition feels like overkill to me)

The Eleventh Hour:

The Beast Below does something a little different. It goes for a creepy nursery rhyme instead: 

GIRL: A horse and a man, above, below. One has a plan, but both must go. Mile after mile, above, beneath. One has a smile, and one has teeth. GIRL: Though the man above might say hello, expect no love from the beast below.

Night Terrors:

DOCTOR: George! George, what's going on? Are you doing it? ALEX: What's happening? GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. DOCTOR: George, no! GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. ALEX: Help me, Doctor! GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. DOCTOR: George, no! (The Doctor is dragged back into the cupboard.) GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. (Alex is dragged into the cupboard.) ALEX: No! (And the door slams shut. Peace reigns again.)

Line about Doctor’s reputation scaring off the bad guys: The Doctor acts as a parental figure, but instead of dismissing the childish fear of the monsters, he validates and vanquishes. He fulfills a parental role, though, and just as parents scare away monsters by virtue of being an adult, the Doctor scares away monsters just by being the Doctor. 

*The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Saving this one for last. 

The Girl in the Fireplace: 

DOCTOR: Even monsters from under the bed have nightmares, don't you, monster? YOUNG REINETTE: What do monsters have nightmares about? DOCTOR: Me!

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead:

VASTA NERADA: These are our forests. They are our meat. DOCTOR: Don't play games with me. You just killed someone I liked. That is not a safe place to stand. I'm the Doctor, and you're in the biggest library in the universe. Look me up. (The Vasta Nerada desists and gives him a day to evacuate the library)

The Eleventh Hour:

DOCTOR: Okay. One more. Just one. Is this world protected? Because you're not the first lot to come here. Oh, there have been so many. (The projection shows the Daleks et al.) DOCTOR: And what you've got to ask is, what happened to them? (A run through of all the previous Doctors, then this Doctor steps through the projection with a jacket and bow tie.) DOCTOR: Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically, run. 

The Beast Below: 

This one breaks the mold a bit: It’s Liz 10 who does all of the “fear my reputation lines” and pulls almost the same line as the Doctor in 11th hour (I'm the bloody Queen, mate. Basically, I rule). What ties this to other Monster in the Closet episodes is that problem’s solution comes from realizing how amazing the Doctor is, and applying that logic to our misunderstood Starwhale. Since it doesn’t need to be scared away like our past few monsters, we get this instead: 

AMY: The Star Whale didn't come like a miracle all those years ago. It volunteered. You didn't have to trap it or torture it. That was all just you. It came because it couldn't stand to watch your children cry. What if you were really old, and really kind and alone? Your whole race dead. No future. What couldn't you do then? If you were that old, and that kind, and the very last of your kind, you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry.

AMY: Amazing though, don't you think? The Star Whale. All that pain and misery and loneliness, and it just made it kind. DOCTOR: But you couldn't have known how it would react. AMY: You couldn't. But I've seen it before. Very old and very kind, and the very, very last. Sound a bit familiar? 

Night Terrors: 

Again, the formula’s changing. Here, the Doctor’s title declaration triggers the monster and makes the scary stuff happen rather than the other way ‘round because the resolution is reconciliation between parent and child. If the Doctor were to be the substitute parental figure, he would interfere with that reconciliation.

GEORGE [memory]: Who are you? DOCTOR [memory]: I'm the Doctor. GEORGE [memory]: A doctor? Have you come to take me away? Away. Away. Away. DOCTOR: That's what did it. That's what the trigger was. He thought you were rejecting him. He thought he wasn't wanted, that someone was going to come and take him away. 

(It should be noted that there’s still a title declaration where the Doctor assumes that people should know and respect his title, even though they have no logical reason to: 

DOCTOR: I'm not just a professional. I'm the Doctor. ALEX: What's that supposed to mean? DOCTOR: It means I've come a long way to get here, Alex. A very long way. George sent a message. A distress call, if you like. Whatever's inside that cupboard is so terrible, so powerful, that it amplified the fears of an ordinary little boy across all the barriers of time and space. )

So that brings me back to The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances. One of my huge Doctor Who pet peeves is the Doctor’s growing hubris. I could manage it in seasons 2-4 because everybody and their dog was calling the Doctor out when he went too far, but it just kind of stopped in season 5 and the Doctor threw out more and more lines about how great or scary he was.

What I love about Nine is that he’s humble. What? you ask. The man who told us “I am so impressive!” is the most humble? Yes. Despite his “devil may care” blustering, Nine carries a huge burden of guilt and he constantly questions whether or not he has the authority to make big decisions when lives are at stake. It’s no coincidence that Harriet Jones pulls the “I’m the only elected official” card in World War Three to tell the Doctor to save the world even if she and Rose might die, or that when the Doctor acts unilaterally to let the Gelth posses corpses in The Unquiet Dead, he’s wrong, or that his actions to free the human race from the brainwashing news just leads to societal collapse and allows the Daleks a place to lie in wait, or that he’s spared from deciding Blon’s fate in Boomtown by the TARDIS. It all leads to his decision in front of the Daleks: Coward or killer? Do I have the right to decide who lives and dies? His answer is no, I don’t (then Rose saves the day). 

In keeping with his personality, it would be totally out of character for him to boast of his reputation to scare away the monsters. Instead, we get this beautiful inversion of the Monster in the Closet Doctor/Parent figure scaring away the monsters by virtue of title: 

DOCTOR: Amazing.

NANCY: What is?

DOCTOR: 1941. Right now, not very far from here, the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like dominoes. Nothing can stop it. Nothing. Until one, tiny, damp little island says no. No. Not here. A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing, the lot of you. Don't know what you do to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me. Off you go then do what you've got to do. Save the world.

Instead of an “I’m the Doctor! Monsters are scared of me!” line, we get the Doctor saying ‘the monsters are scared of you.’ Then, he says he himself is frightened of humans. That’s an odd thing to say, since Nine doesn’t act frightened of humans and seems to just love them, until you consider the thematic implications. Who’s scared of the humans? The monsters. 

The Doctor from ‘Dalek’ is calling.

The Doctor considers himself to be one of the monsters, even if he’s trying to atone for his past. He’s desperately avoiding whatever reputation’s left after the Time War and doesn’t pull that card until he’s facing a Dalek army. I am so so so grateful we got this line, instead of a line about how great the Doctor is.

The bad guy is not actually malicious, just following its nature: The monster is always something real here, but it’s never properly evil. I do like a good “the aliens just have different needs than humans” plot. That said, it can get predictable when you know there’s going to be a twist coming. I like the twists less and less as the episodes go on.

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: The monster is the child! Sort of: the good-at-healing but bad-at-AI nanogenes made Jamie and everyone else a monster since they didn’t know what they were going for as they repaired the humans. 

The Girl in the Fireplace: Arguably the most sinister on this list, the droids aren’t malicious, just trying to repair their ship with re-purposed body parts because they broke down. Not evil, just following incomplete AI instructions like our Nanogenes. This was the only thing I liked in this episode. At least the monsters had a reason they were obsessed with Reinette, unlike the stalker-y actions the Doctor took that were supposed to be 100% okay, even though he criticized the Robots for doing that? 

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead: The Vasta Nerada are creepy and eat people, but it’s just because their forest was pulped and they came here in the books! They just want to be left in peace to hunt like normal predators. 

The Eleventh Hour: This one doesn’t fit quite so neatly. However, it should be noted that the primary danger in the episode doesn’t come from the bad guy, Prisoner Zero, but the cops looking for him who are willing to boil the earth. They’re not evil, just callous and need to be reminded of proper boundaries.

The Beast Below: The weird scorpion stingers are just the Starwhale! It loves children. It doesn’t even care about being tortured for centuries and will keep driving everyone through space. 

Night Terrors: George is monster! That is, he’s the one causing the creepy stuff to happen because he’s an alien who stressed out about the parents he brainwashed abandoning him. I guess that’s sci fi for you?

With the exception of Blink, all of the monsters are shown as innocent, if dangerous. They just need to put their energy in a different direction. It’s not until Victory of the Daleks that Moffat breaks the mold. Why? The punchline of “Monster in the Closet” stories is that the monsters are real and scary, but not evil, just following their nature. Daleks fall into the “these are actual bad guys” category, not the misunderstood monster. (Which is kinda funny, because it’s been established that Daleks are genetically engineered to kill and hate. They may be a Nazi analogue, but Nazis were people who chose evil. The Daleks are bred to hate and exterminate--note what happens to the “impure” dalek in Dalek and Evolution of the Daleks: they don’t kill people, and then they die.) 

My biggest beef with these episodes that they’re all relatively close together, so it’s easy to notice the overlap. When Moffat uses almost the exact same line in one episode as in the previous episode, I notice. When he uses the same mask design, I notice. When he has a constantly repeated line and does it again, I notice. Even before I waded into anti Moffat stuff, I noticed a shift at the end of season 4. I attributed it to a new cast since I just couldn’t click with anything. Then, I learned there was a new writer, and found out he had also written my least favorite episode of New Who (The Girl in the Fireplace). 

After writing this, I can’t help but parrot what I’ve heard elsewhere: Moffat’s trying to write a fairytale. A lot of the people and dangers feel more like archetypes than people, and the dialogue is witty but often unnatural--nobody goes around bantering like that all the time. The villains are identified by their form just as much as what they intend to do. There’s also this weird idolization of childhood and the innocent child. I don’t like it much. I’m more of the Coraline, Witches of Worm, Egyptian Game, and Wrinkle in Time mold, where the kids are just as realized and human as their adult counterparts and can lack empathy and be as creepy as adults. Alternatively, I’ll take Shannon Hale’s fairy-tale retellings where the bad guys are people and the solution involves personal courage and collaborative effort. (Moffat can keep his Day of the Doctor maypole children, and I will keep Chloe the scribbler, even if her episode was a little off).

My rating for these episodes, from least to most favorite: 

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Love Christopher Eccleston’s performance and was very creeped out by the child monsters. The solution to the problem was implied but not obvious so I didn’t get it until I was supposed to. I didn’t enjoy the introduction of a love triangle or the constant innuendo, but at least it was gone in an episode. Also, I will never not fangirl over “Everybody Lives!” and its significance to Nine. 

Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead: Thoroughly enjoyed these episodes, though I do have things to quibble with (wish Lee was black like Donna’s other romantic interests--she’s got a type and it’s not “gorgeous and can’t speak a word,” among other critical things). Overall,  a great episode

The Eleventh Hour, which I enjoyed, but makes me feel weirder and weirder the more I watch it between child/adult Amy, handcuffs and porn references, and the annoying “prisoner zero has escaped” mantra, plus “I’m the doctor! The earth is protected! I also didn’t like the repeat of comatose people sitting up and saying things. It was good the first time, not so much the second. Funny, but also uncomfortably awkward and creepy, and not in the “are you my mummy” way. 

The Beast Below, which felt like it was recycled from earlier tropes to me. Maybe if Liz 10 wouldn’t have had the GitF porcelain mask, I wouldn’t be as tempted to compare it to other Monster in the Closet episodes. Overall, just meh.

The Girl in the Fireplace, which rubs me wrong in every way, except for the droids cannibalizing crew to save the ship--what does that say about me and the episode? I will not rewatch this episode willingly.

[songfell-ut]

Chapter 5 already, huh

In which I personally feel sorry for Sans only a little bit, guess when

Oh, and @lostmypotatoes? My brother actually doesn’t have The Virus, which makes me feel even worse for randomly shouting at you about it just because I happened to have our conversation open when I saw the text from my mom. Sorry again! Official chaptery link found here.

Sans had gotten used to waking up in a luxurious, his-sized bed, and after a full week with the High Priestess, he felt he could handle being stuck in the humans' castle for twenty-three more days; it was amazing to sleep so soundly, and he could think of about a million worse fates than spending his waking hours with Frisk. What he could not handle was having a really wonderful dream like that, only to wake up wifeless, childless, and absolutely certain he'd remain that way for the rest of his unnatural life.

He tried not to blame Frisk for it, he really did, but as he emerged from his room, she was sitting at the worktable in her robe with another goddamn proposal in hand, as if to taunt him. "Good...morning," she said. "Are you all right?"

"F'fn m'rg," he muttered.

"I see. I didn't sleep well, either." When he didn't respond, the priestess shrugged and went back to her letter.

The boss monster sat down at the worktable and selected a book at random, trying to shake off the feeling of his dream-wife messing with his face. Less than five minutes later, someone knocked at the door; Sans started to sweep books and mixing tools aside to make room for breakfast, but Frisk shook her head as she got up. "It's Sunday, and I have matins in less than an hour. We won't get fed till afterwards. One minute, please!"

She was about halfway across the room when Sans sat bolt upright: the bar across the doors was lifting itself, and the double doors swung open from the outside. "Good morning," said a soft, scratchy voice.

"Er...good morning, Dr. Serif," Frisk said as the man walked in. "Please, have a seat."

"Thank you." Though the worktable had several chairs pushed beneath it at widely spaced intervals, the doctor sat down next to Sans, ignoring the skeleton's glare and addressing Frisk: "When I informed His Majesty that I would be coming here this morning, he asked me to tell you that he and the Prince will be attending matins. I've brought several men to escort you to the chapel as soon as you're ready."

The High Priestess blinked, and said, "I see." She picked up her veil and headdress from the edge of the worktable. "Please excuse me, then."

Sans waited for her to disappear into her dressing room before he rounded on the royal sorcerer, resisting the urge to grab him by the neck. "What the hell are you doin' here, ya creepy bastard? You steal my magic 'n make Frisk use it, ya come here without askin' and open doors all by yerself—and how come we need a bunch of extra guys to go t'church all of a sudden?"

"She needs them because you will be staying here," said Dr. Serif, unperturbed. "We have several things to discuss, many of which do not directly concern Her Eminence and needn't come to her attention. She already has enough responsibilities for three women."

Sans couldn't argue with that, but he could and did tell the guy, "Hell with you. I'm not interested in anythin' ya have to say."

The doctor shrugged. "Very well. I will only ask you to listen to one word." He reached into his robe and retrieved the end of a very long, thin golden chain hanging from his neck, twisted the chain once around his finger, and pulled—

His face blurred and his hand melted, the flesh sliding off like warm wax. Beneath his pale human features was a long, bone-white, masklike face with black slashes above and beneath his hollow eyes, lipless mouth curving into a grin. His now-bony hand rose in greeting, chain twined around his phalange, its end dangling through the hole in his palm. "Boo," whispered the skeleton.

The door to Frisk's dressing room cracked open. "Shall I wait for you two, Dr. Serif?" she called. "Or will you keep Sans here and deprive him of another hour in church?"

The doctor dropped the chain and was human again. "Indeed, my lady," he said. "I am sorry to disappoint our visitor, and those who will come to see him for themselves, but I understand that monsters employ methods of collecting magical energy that would benefit us greatly. I wish to hear it from the horse's mouth."

"That's probably for the best. He's told me the basics, but I'm not an expert in metallurgy or alchemy, so I'm afraid most of it is over my head." Frisk closed the door behind her, settling her veil in place. "If nothing else, Sans can have a break from me. I think we've been getting along fairly well, but he's probably tired of being lectured." She paused by the edge of the worktable, where Sans was frozen in place. "Well, Sans? Shall I get out of your hair now?"

He was still reeling from what he'd seen, and only vaguely aware that he had to say something leaving-related. "Yeah, bye," he muttered.

He didn't see her start, or how her head ducked as she turned and left. The moment the doors closed, the royal sorcerer removed the chain from around his neck, setting it on the table and scowling at Sans like a disappointed teacher. "You realize you've hurt her feelings very much?" The slashes above and below his right and left sockets creased in disapproval. "No. You don't, do you."

"Well, you're hurting my fuckin' brain, ya—ow!"

Something had immediately smacked Sans in the back of the skull. He whipped around to see a disembodied hand hovering in the air, wagging a skeletal finger in disapproval before it vanished. "I will not tolerate rudeness," the doctor said severely. "Is that clear, young skeleton?"

The boss monster felt as if someone had pulled the floor out from beneath him. "Yeah, I guess so. That's about the only thing I do get right now."

"Understandable. I will begin by asking this, Sans: do you recognize me?"

That was a good question. The longer Sans looked at him, the less certain he was. "You...honestly, it feels like I used ta have nightmares with you in 'em, but I've had so many others since then that ya can't keep up. Competition's pretty stiff in here." He tapped his skull.

The doctor chuckled. "I see. Does the name 'W. D. Gaster' sound familiar?"

Sans flinched, and he didn't know why. He just knew that he wanted to open his head up and scrub the insides till the name was gone. "Not...really," he managed. "'Zat you?"

"More or less." Gaster half turned in his chair and snapped his fingers. Two more hands appeared at the windows, unlatching them and pushing them open to let the chill morning air stream in. "This is an informal meeting, principally to get acquainted again. We can start with this." He picked up the golden chain and held it out for Sans' inspection. "To the best of my knowledge – and I pride myself on thoroughness – there are no similar devices in use by any other monster in this kingdom. You should not be surprised in this fashion again."

"I sure fu—flippin' hope not," Sans remarked. "Whaddya mean, 'get acquainted again'?"

"Ah, you caught that. Well done." Gaster's mouth curved again. "We've met before, but you were so young that I'm not surprised you don't remember. The next question: would you like to have a device of your own, and the ability to appear human?"

Sans prided himself on not being dumb, but this was way too much, too fast. Gaster must have seen it in his expression, because he raised his palmless hands in a conciliatory gesture. "My apologies. I have been looking forward to this meeting for a long, long time, and I may be overly enthusiastic. I'll ask an easier question—did you kill the man found in the gardens yesterday?"

The boss monster put a hand to his skull, as if he could manually collect his thoughts. "The guy jumped. Didn't the King tell ya?"

"His Majesty told me what he was told, yes. Did Her Eminence see the assassin jump rather than give himself up, or did you throw him out the window after you squeezed him eighty-percent to death?" Gaster raised a finger as Sans started to protest. "Don't waste my time or yours, boy. The gentleman may have landed in an unhealthy fashion, but that does not explain the uniformly horizontal bruising across his front and back, or how he struck face-first and still managed to crack most of his thoracic vertebrae. His injuries were consistent with a very large hand doing a very large amount of damage before his fall."

Sans wasn't sorry, and he saw no reason to either lie or volunteer more information. He stared at Gaster, daring him to say anything more, and the royal sorcerer shook his head. "No, I will not judge you for taking drastic measures to save the High Priestess. The man was carrying three large knives and two empty sheaths, which suggests he was very serious in his purpose. Nor do I intend to trouble His Majesty or Frisk with this information, unless perhaps I find out that you crushed the man to pulp right in front of her."

"Hell, no, I didn't," Sans snapped. "Ya think I wanted her ta feel any more messed up than she already was? I didn't even let the f—the guy scream on the way down. She didn't hear anything, an' she didn't see anythin' after I got him outta the room." He drummed his fingertips on his femur. "And don't use her name. 's weird."

Gaster's brow twitched. "That answers that. Thank you."

The boss monster felt like something had gone over his head, and he was about to demand more information when Gaster raised his finger again. "One moment. Do you hear that?"

Very faint choir music was coming through the open windows. "Yeah, I know," Sans said impatiently. "When they get sick of talkin', they do that instead. It all sucks."

"Not necessarily," murmured the doctor. "This particular hymn includes a solo, and with the King in attendance, they'll use their best performer. Listen."

Sans didn't get it till the hymn faded to almost nothing and it seemed as if the song was over. He was thinking of his next question when a single voice rose through the stillness and his head turned of its own volition. His feet made him get up and cram one shoulder out the window to follow the sound, heedless of the floor creaking underfoot.

Sure enough, it was a lone woman singing. The words were indistinct, but the sound sent prickles running over his skull and down his spine; her high notes were perfect, and while he could barely hear the lower tones, they were somehow even better. When the last note died away, he wanted to jump out and yell for whoever it was to keep going.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Gaster was leaning on the other window, arms folded on the sill, head propped up on a spare hand. "I've missed hearing her in the mornings."

Sans hurriedly scratched the corners of his sockets, which somehow felt itchy. "Yeah, I guess s'not bad for a human," he said, trying to sound careless, though he couldn't help adding, "Kinda wasted in a church."

The doctor chuckled again, stepping away from the windowsill. "An increasingly common opinion, as you are doubtless aware by now."

Before Sans could ask what the hell that meant, Gaster glanced meaningfully at the boss monster's face and hand. Sans followed his gaze and saw why: his phalanges were stained bright red. "Wha..." Had he hurt himself? Sans grabbed the corner of his sleeve and swiped at his eyes, pulling it away to reveal more streaks of red. "What the crap is this?"

Gaster was very quiet. Then he reached into his robe and produced a folded white square. "Here," he said. Sans looked at it blankly. "It's a handkerchief, my boy," the doctor explained. "For drying tears."

~

The walk back to her rooms after the service was more irritating than usual. Frisk was thirsty, her calf was beginning to cramp from walking at the four guards' pace, and there was no one to talk to—just like old times, she thought with a twinge of dismay. She was reconsidering the merits of Sans' magic when they reached the double doors and she could all but run inside.

"Greetings, my lady," said Dr. Serif, raising his head from a series of drawings scattered across the worktable. There were tiny words and numbers scribbled all over, and even at a glance, the notations were beyond her. "If you'll allow us a moment, we'll clear the table. Breakfast should be here any moment."

"Thank you," she said. "I'll be out as soon as I extricate myself." Dr. Serif gave his odd half-smile, while Sans didn't so much as look up.

Well, at least changing into a looser dress made her feel better, as did kicking off her slippers and enjoying the strange walking-in-pits feeling of removing heeled shoes. Technically, she knew she should keep her veil on, but the prospect made her want to eat the damn thing. It wasn't as if the royal sorcerer was going to tell on her, and she almost never wore it around Sans anymore—not that he cared either way.

...Good Lord. When was the last time she'd felt this crabby? He must be rubbing off on me, she thought wryly.

Dr. Serif had poured a tall glass of water for her. Frisk came out, seized it from his hand, and drank the whole thing at once, setting it down with a bang and a sigh. "Thank you very much, Doctor."

"I had a suspicion you wouldn't be allowed time to care for yourself after the service," he remarked. Sans was still looking at a sheet of paper, at least until the doctor plucked it out of his hand and set it on a stack of notes. "I hear something in the hall. Sans?"

The skeleton grumbled, but got up to open the doors as Frisk sat by the doctor. "It looks as though you've made some progress. In your opinion, are these ideas practiceable?"

"I believe so, yes," he replied. "Based on what Sans has told me, we could possibly convert some of our existing infrastructure for this purpose. We will need more detailed specifications, but I thank you for allowing me to borrow Sans and attain a starting point."

"And thank you for giving him a break," she said, drawing on all of her training to keep from sounding petulant.

It must not have worked, because the doctor sighed. "That was a very natural misunderstanding on your part, my lady. He and I had words while you were getting dressed, and it distracted him. I doubt that he genuinely wanted you gone. In fact, he's been checking the clock every ten minutes since you left."

Frisk felt herself flushing. "I didn't—"

"Watch out," said Sans, and as they sat back, the dishes flew off the trolley in a burst of red magic, settling neatly onto the table. "There. What's this about me 'n the clock?"

"Nothing whatsoever," the doctor said genially. "Her Eminence is back, by the way."

Sans glowered at him, and glanced at Frisk for the first time since she'd come in. "Yep. You can go now, Doc." He made a shooing gesture, then came back to the table, pulled over a random dish, and began shoveling the food in.

Dr. Serif looked ready to hit the skeleton upside the head. "You were marvelous, as always, Your Eminence," he said loudly. "It's been a long time since you performed at matins, hasn't it?"

Frisk paused mid-stab, rearranging her tomato slices into an angrier pattern. "You can hear the chapel from all the way up here?" Stab. "Would you like something to eat, Doctor?"

"Nothing for me, thank you. On a clear day with little wind, yes, the sound carries quite far."

The priestess couldn't help grimacing. "That's good to know." She got up for another drink. "I had to chat with His Majesty and Gaius for almost twenty minutes after the service. My throat is killing me," she said over her shoulder.

When Frisk turned around, Dr. Serif was not looking at her, but at Sans, who had slowly raised his head. "Hold on a sec," the skeleton said. He shifted to face her. "That was you?"

His obvious disbelief made her want to dunk her head in the water pitcher, and perhaps also throw it at him. "I...yes? It was my turn to take that solo," she said to her plate, and crammed a wad of egg into her mouth.

"Your turn, indeed." Dr. Serif raised his eyebrows at Sans. "Her Eminence is aggressively modest about her vocal talent. You won't hear her again until the Feast of All Souls in three days, and she will do her best to get out of it."

Frisk swallowed, coughed, and said sharply, "Doctor, please." What was he doing?

"Forgive me, my lady." He rested his head on his hand, dark eyes studying her. "Speaking of All Souls Day, I've discussed the matter with Sans in his capacity as your personal guard, but I also wanted to give you a direct word of caution. We may need to employ unorthodox methods to ensure your safety, as you will have an unavoidably public role in the ceremony. Will you agree to comply with whatever measures we may deem necessary?"

That sounded ominous, but Frisk had already been trying not to think of the upcoming holy day, or the dead assassin, or how the prospect of being murdered was no longer an abstract concept. "I'll leave it to you and Sans, Doctor. Thank you for your concern."

"Of course, Your Eminence. Now, with your permission, I'd like to briefly review what you've taught Sans thus far. St. Brigid's is unparalleled in its instructional quality, so I have no doubt as to your knowledge or capability. However—"

Sans banged his empty plate onto a tray, startling them both. "Thanks, Doc. Go away."

"Sans!" the priestess snapped. "What's gotten into you? Do I have to send you to your room?"

Dr. Serif raised his hands good-naturedly and got to his feet. "All right, you can have her to yourself again. But I would like to consult with both of you at least once every day. May I come here in the morning, or is the afternoon more convenient?"

"Either is fine now that I'm excused from most of the services," Frisk answered. She pinned Sans with a glare. "Do you have a preference?"

The skeleton grumble-shrugged. "Splendid," said Dr. Serif. "I will see you tomorrow morning after breakfast, then." He bowed slightly. "My lady."

Frisk rose to walk him out of the room and into the hall. To her surprise, Dr. Serif gestured for the guard to move away, and when the man was out of earshot, the royal sorcerer lowered his voice. "Forgive my asking, but when you spoke with the King, what did he say about Sans?"

The priestess crossed her arms at the waist, and uncrossed them. "He asked how Sans was behaving towards me. I told him I'm not in any danger, but I don't know if he believes it."

To her shock, the doctor laughed. "That was not what he meant, Your Eminence," he said. "I fully agree that Sans bears you no ill will. However, surely you have noticed that he is...we'll say, potentially unstable? I checked the potions you've recently made, and didn't sense his magic in any of them. Have you allowed him to infuse anything yet?"

At this point, Frisk couldn't even try to keep her emotions off her face. If nothing else, she thought bitterly, it'd save time.

"I see. Those who witnessed your initial encounter with him said you stopped him in his full attack without violence. I hate to put responsibility for his actions on your shoulders," the doctor continued, "but as you know, Sans is much too powerful to be allowed to lose control of himself again. There can be no peace between humans and monsters if your emissary destroys any human life or property while he is here, or if he evens frightens anyone too much."

"No, of course not." Frisk shifted her bare feet on the marble floor. "He's being difficult today, but as I said – or at least, I thought – we've been working together well enough. He's an excellent student, and he has a sense of humor. I'm certainly not afraid of him anymore."

"Hmm." The doctor was plainly skeptical. "You don't feel threatened by having such a large monster in your living space? Does he seem apprehensive about your barriers?"

"As a matter of fact, I trust him enough now to have taken down several of them. When I created one so that we could talk privately with the King, he handled it fairly well."

The doctor's eyes grew very wide. "You kept him inside a barrier, and he tolerated it?"

"I...told him it was all right, and I made a bad pun. It seemed to work."

For some reason, Dr. Serif muttered something curse-like under his breath, then said, "I beg your pardon, my lady, but that is extraordinary, especially considering he's been under your care for only a week. Monsters are absolutely terrified of barriers, no matter their size or strength, and he knows firsthand that he cannot break yours. Whatever you are doing to foster trust between you, by all means, continue to do so." He turned as if to go, and paused. "One more thing, Your Eminence. Has he told you how he became a boss monster? There should be none but their King and Queen."

Frisk shook her head. "I tried to ask about it, and he got upset."

"Indeed. Thank you very much for your time. I will see you tomorrow." He strode off down the hall, allowing the guard to return to his post.

Any hope of Sans behaving better with the doctor gone was dashed the moment she came back in. "How come ya don't like singin'?" The skeleton sounded almost accusing. "If I could do that, I'd never shut up."

"That's none of your business." The priestess busied herself collecting dirty dishes and loading them up.

Another cloud of red lifted the trays out of her hands and dumped them back on the trolley with an unholy clatter. The doors opened, the trolley rolled itself out to the hall, and the doors creaked shut. "There, all done. So does it take a lotta magic or somethin'? I noticed ya don't make as much noise around here now that there's not as many barriers ta keep up."

Noise? "Drop it, Sans. I'm not going to ask you again," she warned, coming to sit across from him.

Pause. Frisk could actually see him think about it and then decide to keep right on going. "I didn't think you were the shy type. Yer willin' t'stand up in front of a zillion people and tell 'em not to be scared of the big bad skeleton, you got me right where ya want me, and ya talk to th' most important guys in the kingdom like it's nothin', so how're—"

That did it. She was so furious that she had to fight the urge to throw a barrier in his face. Instead, she inhaled, stuck her thumb and forefinger in her mouth, and gave an ear-splitting whistle.

And that was how Frisk learned an interesting fact about skeletons: they didn't have ears, but when faced with a completely unexpected and shrill sound – not just being shouted at – they still instinctively tried to cover the sides of their head, and at least one of them also yelled, "What the fuckin' crap was that for?!"

"First, watch your language, and second, it was for being a giant hypocrite! I haven't made you tell me how you're a boss monster, and when I want you to stop asking me a personal question, I expect the same courtesy!"

"Are you seriously comparin' my life bein' ruined with yer stupid 'Wahh, I'm a perfect fairy-tale princess, don't listen to me'?"

"This is not a contest! I know what I've experienced and how I feel about it, and it has nothing to do with you!" She slammed her palms on the table, standing up so that she didn't have to keep craning her neck to look at him. "We may be familiar with one another by now, but that does not give you the right to say whatever you want to me! Do you understand?"

Sans was still rubbing his skull. "Not like it matters," he muttered. "Yer the boss, right?"

"Oh, please! Haven't you ever had a friend before, Sans? A real one? Have you ever learned to treat someone with basic respect?"

"Not a damn human!" The skeleton also sprang to his feet, towering over her with eyes aflame. "Excuse me if I hurt your widdle feewings askin' a stupid-ass question!"

"You hurt my feelings because you showed me that you don't care about them! Don't you dare blame this on my being human, Sans! You're wrong, and you damn well know it!"

He snarled, lowering his head until his jagged teeth and the blinding orange-red of his eyes were less than a foot from hers. The effect was terrifying, but Frisk was too angry to remember the doctor's warning about letting the boss monster lose control; the only thing that mattered was standing her ground. "Don't you give me that look!" He wanted to win by being bigger, did he? Frisk put one foot on her chair, stepped onto the table, and, as Sans blinked in confusion, reached down to jab a finger into his sternum. "What are you going to do? Bully me until I'm as afraid of you as every other human you've met? Think of another plan, because that's not going to work!"

The ferocious light went out like a candle. For just a moment, Sans looked as though a tree had sprouted in front of him full-grown and then fallen on his head. He stepped back, mumbled, "'Kay," and went into the bedroom, shutting the door.

Frisk stood in the middle of the table, her pulse racing, not sure whether to cry or step down and then cry. She swallowed several times, but it didn't help.

Damn him. The bedroom was an upset woman's native habitat, and he had stolen it. There was the couch, but it wasn't the same. Besides, even if she understood on a grown-up level that the assassin was gone, she was still afraid to open the office door without Sans there.

At a loss, Frisk sat on the edge of the table, letting her feet dangle as she surveyed her domain. The room had gotten even messier in the past week. If Sans had the power to put dishes away instantaneously, he'd have enough to put all these books and papers away for her, too. Maybe she could make him organize her proposals while he was at it.

Proposals. For the thousandth time, Frisk wondered if it was time to stop ignoring them and start making a list of men she might actually consider accepting. She hadn't told Sans how few positions in the Church were suitable for her current rank, or that the likeliest ones were all lifetime commitments, a fate more lonely and boring than death. She'd been so scared but so excited to become High Priestess, where she'd do so much good and be known and loved by so many people; no one had reminded her that being up on a pedestal meant being utterly alone, not to mention exposed to anyone below who wanted to push her off.

Maybe that was why she had imagined her resident boss monster being smitten with her, why she'd been so hurt by him trying to escape, and why she felt so awful now. Frisk knew he had no social skills whatsoever, and he'd probably thought he was complimenting her in some backhanded, childish fashion, but leave it to Sans to turn being "perfect" into an insult.

No, the choice between the Church and marriage wasn't much of a choice at all. She was very tired of her pedestal, and she wasn't going to trade it for one so high that she couldn't come down again. If she chose the right husband, she could do as much or more for people in need than she already was, and she wouldn't be doing it alone. Even if she and her future spouse were well-to-do and had busy schedules, she'd have company in the evenings, not to mention nights and mornings in bed, which there was no shame in looking forward to! Then there'd be children, a family of her own...

Frisk sighed, massaging her neck and turning it toward the window, then the door. For the briefest and most frustrated of moments, she contemplated sending the skeleton back to the Underground now, perhaps tomorrow morning. He'd learned enough and given the royal sorcerer enough information; surely she could get rid of him in good conscience, and he wouldn't have the chance to hurt her ag—

The child from her nightmares was sitting inches away from her on the edge of the table. It was smiling, eyes shining red, kitchen knife in hand and all its little teeth bared.

Every hair on Frisk's body stood straight up, and her breath came quick and shallow. She tried to push herself off the table, to yell at it to go away, but her muscles were locked in place. All she could do was watch as the child lifted the knife, pointing it straight at the bedroom door, eyes never leaving hers. The child slowly lowered the knife, turned the blade around in its hands, and held the handle out to her.

Frisk's hand twitched. A tiny part of her knew that if she tried, if she really wanted to, she could move enough to grab the knife. But...why?

Something bubbled up in the back of her mind, whispering that even a boss monster was no match for a determined human. She knew exactly what to do: shuffle into the room with her head down and her hands behind her back, creep in close to tell Sans how sorry she was, and bring him down in one swift crimson slash. It'd be so easy!

The child was still smiling, still holding out the knife. Frisk moved her hand, raising it slowly, and the child's grin somehow widened.

Frisk leaned forward. She reached up, and with every shred of determination she possessed, she turned her hand toward herself, jammed her fingers in her mouth, and whistled as hard as she could. The child only had time for one furious glare before it vanished.

The bedroom door banged open. "What the hell d'ya want now?" demanded the skeleton, stepping into the workroom. "I'm not a damn dog! If ya need something, just...oh, shit—" Sans dropped to one knee next to where she'd crumpled onto the floor, shaking, her hand pressed to her mouth. "Frisk! Hey!" He reached for her shoulder, thought better of it, and looked around, as if for help. "Come on, Frisk! Look, I'm sorry, a'right? I know, I shoulda listened to you! I'll shut up next time ya tell me, I swear! Just knock it off!"

Frisk shook her head, tried to speak, and couldn't suppress a sob. Sans considered her from a couple different angles, said, "Incoming," then carefully scooped her up and walked into the bedroom, setting her down on the edge of the bed and sitting on the floor. "I'm sorry," he said again, wincing as she turned her back to him and curled up with her face buried in the pillow. "'m sorry, okay? You were right. I wasn't thinkin' of how ya felt, just bein' a nosy prick. I really don't want ya to be scared of me. Ya don't hafta tell me anythin' if you don't want, I just..."

Something in his tone made her wipe one eye and raise her head far enough to look at him. He was staring at the bedpost. "'s not an excuse for how I acted, but..." Sans shrugged helplessly. "I really, really wish you liked ta sing."

Silence. Then, to his abject horror, Frisk clutched the pillow and began wailing incoherently into it, sobbing in earnest.

"Aw, fuck! I mean—Frisk—" The skeleton opened his mouth and shut it several times. He stood up, paced out of the room and back again, and sat down as the noise continued. "What'd I do now?!"

No answer. Sans tried to think of something, anything to make her stop. "Uh...can I get ya anything?" he asked lamely.

She quieted long enough to shake her head and kept right on crying. Sans scratched the back of his skull, glancing at the windows – still too small to jump out – and finally, against his better judgment, sat on the edge of the bed. "Hey. Ya know that explosion that killed all those people? Asriel, Chara, a bunch of humans, couple'a monsters?"

That got her attention. Frisk sat up, scrubbing her eyes on her sleeve. "What?" A protracted sniffle. "What about it?"

"That day, me 'n Papyrus came to the gala with Kris, and we were way at the back. For some reason, Kris took off into the crowd, an' I was smaller than Pap, so I went after the little bugger." Sans looked at his massive hand. "Next thing I knew, there was this big damn flash of light and I got knocked down. I don't know what happened after that—it hurt like hell, but I was thinkin' of Pap and wondering where Kris was, and then I woke up in the lab."

Frisk sniffled, but she was listening. Sans clicked his phalanges on the bedpost. "The best explanation Alphys and I came up with was that I was determined ta stay alive, but a monster's body can't handle too much determination. I mean, if we feel a lot of it, we literally melt like butter. Al's not sure if I held together because I absorbed little bits of human SOUL as they died, or if I somehow converted some of the ambient magic, or what. Nothin' really makes sense. It sure didn't happen to anyone else who was there. But me? I was on the way to becomin' my bee-yootiful new self." He gestured grandly, back still to her. "The end."

The priestess scooted closer, pillow tucked under one arm. "You said it ruined your life?"

"Hell yes, it did. I got too big to fit in my own damn house! I have to take a shortcut into the living room because I can't fit through the friggin' door!" Sans kicked at nothing. "The other monsters are scared of me 'cause I keep losin' my temper 'n I look scary as hell, Asgore treats me like I'm tryin' to take Toriel from 'im when all I wanna do is tell jokes with someone...oh, and ya know what?" He shifted around to nearly face her. "Remember what I said about monsters havin' kids with magic, and how it's always a pain in the butt?" She nodded, wiping her eyes again. "Well, lucky me, I'm too strong t'even try it. If I was a lady boss monster, I could handle someone else's magic and make a little Sans, no problem, but no. If I tried givin' anyone enough to get the job done, there's no guarantee I wouldn't overdo it and kill 'er." Shrug. "Boss monsters are supposed t'have kids with each other so they can transfer their life force and age naturally as the kid gets older. I'm just gonna live forever as a damn freak."

"You're not a freak. You're Sans." Frisk gave an unlovely snrk. "Thank you for telling me this, but you know you didn't have to."

"Yeah, I know." The skeleton turned around the rest of the way, crossing his legs on the bed. "I'm not tryin' to trade it for your pers'nal business, either."

She smiled a little, and his SOUL lifted a little higher. "My story's not nearly that interesting. My mother said something very cruel the first time I sang for her as a child, and no matter how many people since then have told me how wonderful I sound, there's no getting rid of that feeling that they're all wrong. That's all."

"Yikes. I wouldn't say it's 'all,' not if you were a kid an' you were trusting your own damn mom to not be an asshole. That crap really hurts. I shouldn'a said it was stupid."

"Agreed, but I accept your apology." Frisk sighed, tucking the pillow under her chin to rest her head on it. "I've been feeling sorry for myself because being High Priestess is so isolating, but at least I can get out of it. Isn't there anything you can do?"

"Nope! I can't get hitched and stop bein' a boss monster. We've tried a bunch of different things, and it's irreversible. We can't exactly replicate the accident to make me a lady friend, either."

"No..." The priestess yawned. "No, I expect not. I'm sorry."

"Not yet fault. Not anyone's, so far as we know."

Frisk curled up on her side with a sigh, facing him this time, cuddling the pillow. "I'm glad we had this talk, but I suppose we should get to work soon."

Sans had never wanted to be a pillow so badly. "Isn't it Sunday? Why not take the day off? I vote for a nap and then a game of chess or something."

"Mm." The priestess frowned at a rip in the silken bedsheet, probably caused from his toe catching it. "You know how to play chess?"

"Nope. You can teach me."

Frisk chuckled. "It's a deal." She couldn't help yawning again. "All right, you win. Escort me to my office, please, and I'll get to work on that nap. It's been about a year since I had one."

The boss monster paused, and said, "I feel bad takin' this thing up when yer crashin' on the couch like a houseguest. You take it. There's a lotta floor space fer me out there."

The priestess looked over the huge expanse of mattress, remembering the child and the knife, wondering when she'd feel safe again. On impulse, she hopped over the foot of the bed, landing in front of a cedar chest under the windows and opening it to rummage through the blankets. "I'm fine," Sans informed her. "It takes bein' out in the snow for a while 'fore I get cold."

"It's not for you," Frisk said cheerfully. "Come with me for a moment."

Bemused, the boss monster followed her to the office and the couch. At her instruction, he held out his arms for her to fill up with cushions. Then it was back to the bedroom, where she made him place the cushions on the side of the bed away from the door, holding them up so she could throw a large quilt over them. "There we are! You, sir, are sleeping on the bed. I am sleeping in a pillow fort. There's no impropriety whatsoever."

Sans had so many objections that they all tried to get out his mouth at once. By the time he could say, "I don' think that'd hold up in court," Frisk had already disappeared into her fort.

The mattress was not only wide, but so plush that he could have jumped on the bed without disturbing her arrangement. The skeleton tapped the light off, then lay down in his usual spot near the middle of the bed. He couldn't stretch his arm on that side now, but otherwise, there was still plenty of room. When she sniffled again – in a residual kind of way – Sans remembered the handkerchief, and wished he hadn't used so much of it. It was her fault, having that kind of voice out of nowhere.

Silence settled over them, but it was a comfortable one. Sans closed his eyes, tried to think of something else to say, and decided not to bother: judging by her breathing, Frisk was already asleep.

[just-a-spark]

The Before, and The After Part 1

A Knives Out Story

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Language, sexual content (This chapter is tame, but in the future)

Summery: A wealthy classmate of Meg’s becomes close to the family- a little too close to the playboy grandson of Harlan Thrombey. The events before, and after, Harlan Thrombey’s death.

Elizabeth Stevens fidgeted in her chair as Detective Elliott stood across from her, whispering with an officer named Trooper Wagner. She pulled her thick red hair over her shoulder, and the soft waves cascaded over her like a river of blood. She had the deep color of red that looked almost unnatural against her pale, freckled skin. Her lips were painted the same color of her locks, and the pout she sported emphasized how plump they looked.

“Excuse me?” She raised her hand to get the men’s attention, “Are you two going to question me or not? I have places I need to be.”

Trooper Wagner faced her and smiled weakly, and the woman tried to shrink back into her chair at the attention, “I’m so sorry ma’am. We’ll get started in a moment. Where do you need to be exactly?”

Elizabeth paled a little, not expecting him to ask her about her personal life, “Uh, I have a doctor’s appointment.” She rested her left hand on her stomach, her massive diamond shimmering in the fluorescent lights of the police station.

Elliott pulled out the chair across from her, and she cringed as its legs scraped against the floor, “Well, why don’t we get started then. Your husband is Phillip Stevens, correct? His father is in charge of the Thrombey Estate.” Elliott read from a file and Elizabeth nodded, “I’m assuming that is how you have come to know the Thrombey clan so well?”

“Well...” Elizabeth trailed off and looked to the back wall. She swallowed and took a deep breath, but as the memories started flooding back she smiled, “Not exactly.” Elliott smirked at her and she crossed one muscular leg over the other and leaned back in her chair, “The Thrombeys are the reason I met my husband, not the other way around.”

“Mrs. Stevens, are you aware of the reasoning behind your visit with us today?” Trooper Wagner asked from the back wall.

Elizabeth inhaled deeply and took a drink of her water, “Harlan Thrombey committed suicide a few days ago. I’m guessing you want to question me about it?”

“Your father-in-law suggested it. He said you and Harlan were close.” Detective Elliot pressed and Elizabeth bit her bottom lip nervously. Elliott and Wagner shared a confused glance, then Elliott turned back to Elizabeth, “Perhaps he was wrong?”

“No.” Elizabeth said quietly, finally looking the detective in the eye, “I knew Harlan very well. I knew all of them very well.”

“Knew? Or know?” Wagner clarified.

Elizabeth shifted in her chair, twisting her mouth to the side and looking down, “My relationship with Harlan was strained in the end, that rippled down to the rest of the family. Harlan was the center of their universe, without him, they’ll self destruct.”

                                             Three Years Earlier

Meg Thrombey drove down the dirt road toward her grandfather’s mansion a little too fast, but they were running late for her family’s Harvest Fest picnic, and her Aunt Linda wouldn’t be pleased about it.

“Listen, you aren’t ready for my family, but I appreciate you keeping me company.” Meg laughed as her “Big Sister” from Amherst College pulled her Jimmy Choo heels off the dash.

“It’s fine. I’m sure I’ve seen worse.” Elizabeth Reynolds chuckled, looking out the window at the beautiful woods. “This place is gorgeous.”

“Just wait until you see it. His house is so creepy, but you’re gonna love it.” Meg promised as they pulled up to a metal gate. After waiting a moment, the groundskeeper let Meg in and she continued on her way, looking at her watch and swearing under her breath, “We were supposed to be here an hour ago. My family takes these stupid holiday celebrations way too seriously.”

“It’ll be fine. Better late than never. I’ll charm them by being my starstruck self.” Elizabeth bat her eyelashes at Meg and the younger girl rolled her eyes. “Of all the little sisters I could get for my last year, I can’t believe I got my favorite author’s granddaughter. What are the odds?”

“You picked me, didn’t you?”

“Maybe I saw the last name and took a chance. I was curious.” Meg looked over at the stunning redhead and she added, “I think it turned out rather well, don’t you?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say.” Meg grumbled, but Elizabeth just beamed as they approached a massive dark house.

“Holy shit.” Elizabeth mumbled as she leaned forward to get a better look. “It looks like something out of one of his books.”

“Just wait until you see the inside. I bet he’d give you the whole tour if you asked him. None of us really give a shit.”

Elizabeth feigned surprise, but she knew Meg wasn’t interested in the source of her family’s wealth. If her relatives were the slightest bit like she had described, Elizabeth deduced they wouldn’t be interested in Harlan’s books either.

Meg parked her car behind a slew of other chic vehicles, and Elizabeth let out a wolf whistle, “Damn, is your whole family successful?”

“No, my grandfather just gives everyone money.” Meg deadpanned, turning the key and pulling it from the ignition before tossing it into her bag. “Aunt Linda owns her own real estate company, Uncle Walt runs Grandpa’s publishing company.”

“So they are also super successful. Got it. Your idea of unsuccessful is not making ten million in royalties every year.” Elizabeth teased, fluffing out her thick bangs. “So what do I need to know before I go in?”

“Uncle Walt is intense, Uncle Richard is sleazy, my cousin Jacob is probably going to kill someone someday, but it’s okay, because he’s white and upper middle class.” Elizabeth snorted, then covered her mouth, knowing it wasn’t funny. Meg took a deep breath and continued, “My grandfather is going to be your best friend, and his nurse Marta is basically family. Aunt Linda is rigid but Aunt Donna doesn’t have a personality, so they kind of balance out. You might see my Great Nana, but she doesn’t talk, so don’t worry about her. And you know my mom of course.”

“Yes, love Joni.” Elizabeth hummed through her smile, “Is that everyone?”

“Everyone who’s going to show up.” Meg retorted, pushing open her door, then looking over her shoulder, “If it gets to be too much, say you need to use the bathroom. Text me and I’ll come rescue you.”

Elizabeth pushed open her own door and swung out, looking over the roof and calling, “I think I’ll be okay. I’m an adult.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Meg sing-songed as she led Elizabeth up to the front door. As she pushed it open she called loudly, “Hey, sorry we’re late!”

“About damn time you showed up!” A man’s voice called from farther in the mansion.

“That would be Walt.” Meg mumbled as a mousy looking man with a cane came around the corner. Meg gave a short wave and walked toward him, casually gesturing to her friend, “This is Lizzie. She’s my Big Sister from college. She’s a big fan of Grandpa’s books.”

“Is that so?” Walt asked as he looked Elizabeth up and down with a grin, “Well I run the publishing company. We’re hoping to bring the books to the big screen in the next couple of years. You’d like that, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. As long as they were done well. There’s nothing worse than a bad book to movie transition.” Elizabeth looked over her shoulder uncomfortably as she saw Meg’s mother walk into the room, “Oh, hi Joni!”

“Hiii Lizzie, how are you, honey?” Joni slurred as she wrapped the girl in an awkward, one armed hug. She held out her wine glass to the side and swayed a little as she pulled away, “I’m so glad you could join us today! Come on, let me introduce you to everyone-”

“That’s really not necessary Mom, I’m sure she doesn’t need to- okay.” Meg was ignored and Joni steered Lizzie toward Harlan’s study, where the author was speaking with his eldest daughter.

Lizzie’s eyes widened a little when Harlan Thrombey, the Harlan Thrombey, looked up at her with a smile. Joni shoved Lizzie forward, and the redhead was suddenly very aware that Meg hadn’t joined her, “Hi Dad, this is Lizzie, she’s Meg’s friend from Amherst. She’s part of the Big Sister program for the underclassmen.”

“Nice to meet you Lizzie.” Harlan said as he reached out and shook her hand, “This is my daughter, Linda, and my new nurse, Marta.” He gestured to a small Latina woman who waved shyly from the chair she was sitting in, filling a syringe with medicine for the older man.

“Dad, Lizzie is such a huge fan of your books. I’m sure she’d love to chat with you about them. She just couldn’t stop gushing about you when I met her during Welcome Weekend.” Joni giggled until she drowned herself out by downing her wine, “I’m going to get a refill. Linda, you want anything? Lizzie? Dad?”

“No, I think we’re fine. Thank you.” Linda said sharply with a tight lipped smile. She tilted her head to study the pale girl, but didn’t say anything for a long moment before asking, “Are you old enough to drink?”

“I’m twenty three.” Lizzie answered softly, playing with the ends of her hair and waiting to see if the white-haired businesswoman would interrogate her further.

Linda stared up at her from her spot perched on the desk, and her smile grew a little, “What do you study?”

“Writing. I’d like to be author someday.”

Linda turned to Harlan with a knowing smile, but his smirk didn’t change, “We still have some time before lunch is ready. I’ll leave you two to talk then.” Linda stood and left Harlan’s study, pulling the door closed behind her.

“Would you like me to leave as well, Mr. Thrombey?” The nurse asked, but Harlan just shook his head and squished his face, disapproving of her suggestion.

“Call me Harlan, Marta, we’ve talked about this. And no, you can stay, she can stay, right, Lizzie?”

“Of course, I- yeah, I’m just really honored to meet you!” Lizzie gushed as she took a seat across from Harlan, “I’m such a huge fan! The Needle Game is what made me want to go into writing... the twist in the end, where the body had been stored in the luggage compartment right below them the whole time. Your writing was beyond brilliant.”

Harlan chuckled as Marta smiled softly, carefully inserting the needle into the man’s lower arm. “Well, I appreciate that, Lizzie. What do you consider my weakest work?”

“Excuse me?” She asked abruptly, turning back to Harlan after studying the wooden figurines emerging from his study walls. Her mouth hung open for a moment, unsure of how to respond, “I think they are all wonderful...”

“But I want to know which one you think is the weakest.” Harlan challenged and Lizzie huffed, drawing her brows in frustration. Harlan just smiled and leaned his arm on his desk to get closer to her, “I want your honest opinion, as a fan, because an author is only as good as his worst work.”

“If I had to choose, and I hate that you’re making me,” Lizzie looked past Harlan out his study window at the sprawling grounds beyond, “I guess I’d say Nick of Time. I didn’t feel it was realistic. The writing was great, but the plot was contrived. I don’t believe Maggie would kill Nick in the end, after everything they went through.”

“But she wasn’t happy.” Harlan argued, holding the young woman’s gaze, “You would have written her as a martyr?”

“Yes.” Lizzie answered boldly, her smile growing, “I think it would have made the ending more devastating. That she murdered her in-laws but in the end she was still trapped.”

Harlan nodded thoughtfully, taking her opinion to heart, “Interesting. That’s why I asked.”

“I have a lot of thoughts. I wrote a lot of book reports.” Lizzie retorted, looking to Marta as the woman stood to leave the room, “I should probably head back out. Meg’s going to wonder where I’ve gone.”

“Go explore the house. I’ll give you a proper tour later in the day.” Harlan promised and Lizzie took that as her cue to leave.

When she opened the door, she practically walked into a brick wall of a man: tall, dark, and terribly handsome with an ugly scowl painted across his perfect face.

“Who the hell are you?” He snapped as he shrugged out of his jacket and handed it off to Lizzie, “Take care of this for me, will you?”

“I don’t work here.” Lizzie stammered, completely in shock as the man shoved past her. Her shock turned to anger and she dropped the brown trench coat on the floor. “I’m not your maid.”

Lizzie turned on her Jimmy Choo heels and stormed off to find Meg down the hall with her family. “Hey, how did it- what happened?” Meg asked frantically as Lizzie huffed and simmered, looking back over her shoulder.

“Tall, dark hair, huge ass- jerk.” Lizzie caught herself and Joni swallowed down another glass of wine, raising it in recognition.

“Asshole honey, you met Ransom. He’s an asshole.”

“Sweetheart, what did he say to you?” Linda questioned, suddenly a hundred times softer than she’d been before.

Lizzie groaned, feeling the color drain from her face at all the attention she was receiving, “It’s fine, really. He just didn’t realize I was a guest.”

“Ransom!” Linda yelled and another blonde woman that Lizzie hadn’t met yet shrunk into the corner as Joni poured herself another glass. Linda looked to a man Lizzie guessed was her husband and whispered something in his ear before yelling again, “Ransom!”

“What?” He screamed back as he stormed into the room, holding his coat over his arm until his eyes fell on Lizzie. His scowl turned to a wicked grin and he scoffed, “Oh I’m sorry? Did I offend you? Here, let me pretend like I care.” Ransom strode toward Lizzie and she stood her ground, keeping her mouth shut as he stopped inches from her, staring down his sharp nose at her freckled face. He grabbed her hand and kissed it, then dropped it and handed her his coat. “Now, can you take care of this for me? I’m going to get a drink.”

Linda and Richard chastised the man as he swept out of the room toward the kitchen while Joni yelled at the couple for raising such a terrible son. A frazzled woman in her forties scurried up to Lizzie and took Ransom’s jacket without a word, but Lizzie barely noticed.

She wasn’t sure if she was more confused or conflicted. She wanted to steer clear of that horrible man, but, part of her wanted to understand what made him tick.

[atamascolily]

lily watches fma:b, eps. 37-40

I can only watch 2 episodes at a time because I keep having to pause and write angry screeds in a text document. I suppose this is what is called “engaging with the source material” in media studies.

Cut for extreme length and also me ranting about Hohenheim because FUCK THAT DUDE. Also, worldbuilding stuff I don’t understand.

Ed reciting the periodic table to get his mind off his boner for Winry is just perfect.

Meanwhile, Winry's nerding out over combat automail and Kimblee's just sippin' his coffee watching the whole thing

Kimblee got Winry to like him by saying he admired her parents, argghhh

Pride is revealed to be Selim Bradley and harasses Hawkeye because he's a little shit... also it conveniently allows Buccaneer's tunnel team to escape. Why is Pride simultaneously in Central AND Briggs? I guess we'll find out.

Hawkeye going home and seeing her shadow and realizing just how fucked they are is PERFECT.

Kimblee tells Ed he'll give him a Philosopher's stone if Ed helps him find Scar and Marcoh and finish the job at Briggs (i.e., kill everyone to make a stone). Ed asks--very reasonably, I might add--why Kimblee is going along with the homunculi and his answer is basically "for the lulz". (Oh, and they let him kill people instead of locking him up for war crimes.)

(although I'd argue the homunculi only let him do so when it's personally convenient; they have no qualms about keeping his ass in jail otherwise)

(also: please note kimblee ISN'T in jail for war crimes against Ishval, he's in jail because he murdered some Amestrisian guards so no one would know he has a Philosopher's Stone.)

Ed's like, "so Winry, you're a hostage for my good behvior and I might have to comnit mass murder, fyi" AT LEAST HE FINALLY FOUND A WAY TO TELL HER

love how winry forces her way into the convoy and kimblee just goes with it because he's too busy to argue.

(meanwhile, the end credits still have her at the atelier in Rush Valley, lol)

Yoki's flashback in the 1920s film style is HILARIOUS (if biased) account

Scar and Kimblee face off. I'm reminded of the 2003 anime where iirc Scar sacrifices himself to utterly destroy Kimblee halfway through. no such luck here.

I'm still not happy that Scar killed Winry's parents in this version. It was much more interesting when it was the Amestrisian military--specifically, Roy Mustang, one of the so-called good guys.

(It's not that it was morally okay for Scar to kill the doctors who saved his life--or anyone--just because of their race but it's a whole 'nother ballgame when the murder cover-up for a military dictatorship and the perpetrator is a character the audience has come to root for vs. misguided revenge)

What IS interesting here is Scar confronting Miles, asking him how he can serve in the same institution that killed his family. Miles says he's trying to change minds from the inside; Scar is highly skeptical but claims to be glad there are people like Miles in this world (who aren't so consumed by hatred and grief that they can do that kind of work, instead of becoming a vigilante).

one of Miles' troopers has a backpack that's a phone. Okay... WHAT? I guess if they have automail they can have extremely bulk cellphones, but... I don't understand the tech in this world.

brief detour for Al to lecture the chimera prisoners, okay

Yoki actually has a good idea for once!

I don't understand the chimeras saying they want their bodies back - it seems like they can shift from human to their other form and back (they do it a few minutes later) so... I get that they've been experimented upon and it's horrible, but they're not quite in the same desperate straits as Al, who doesn't have a body at all, or Nina Tucker *sob*. Or am I missing something obvious here??

...okay, I think they were moved to DIFFERENT human bodies than their original forms? It's kind of unclear from context.  

Just as I was admiring Winry's piercings for the bajillionth time, a random dude tells her they'll cause frostbite so she takes them out and gives them to Ed as a token. And probably also so Kimblee will suspect the ruse later if/when he notices that detail.

Scar's like, "man, why'd I have to kill the FAMOUS doctors, sigh"

Al has a vision of his body and it's SO FREAKING CREEPY, YO (I like the detail that his nails are really long)

Cut to Father playing with little mini versions of Ed and Al on a transmutation circle in his lair OH YEAH THAT'S CREEPY - he needs 5 people to complete the circle. Ed, Al, and Hohenheim are each little skull-people, Izumi is "a possibility," and that leaves one more... probably Roy.

I love Hawkeye and Roy's verbal codes, Roy hitting on Olivier, Olivier straight up admitting to Bradley she offed Raven, Roy's apparent shift into the flower business, etc, etc.

TIME FOR A FLASHBACK.FINALLY SOME EXPLANATORY BACKSTORY.

Okay, so we meet Slave 23 in an alchemy lab - his master used his blood to make a creepy blob in a flask that is talking to him and names said slave "Van Hohenheim" (because he didn't want to be "Theophrastus Bombastus", lol.) There's a time skip and Hohenheim becomes a skilled apprentice alchemist thanks to the blob's interference and education.

Note: I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT ALL OF THIS. Also, WHY.

(but let's be real, I am distracted by the fact that young!Hohenheim, like old!Hohenheim, is extremely hot.)

The King of Xerxes summons the blob to ask it about immortality. I can already tell this is going to end well.

The blob tells the King the secret - cut to laborers digging a giant circular "irrigation canal". also, people start dying in coordinated attacks at specific geographic points just like in amestris.

I still don't understand how this works, though. In the 03 version, you just need a bunch of people to die all at once aftermaking a few preparations. It was city-scale, not country-scale.

also apparently, there's been a time skip because Hohenheim is significantly older than before (his job is to carry the blob in its flask around, I guess?). He's so excited about the immortality thing yet seems to have NO IDEA what it entails.

The blob made the actual center of the circle where Hohenheim was standing so everyone else dies. I'm not sure how that works because it's only a few meters off--is it really that precise?--but okay, whatever, sure.

Also, the blob regards Hohenheim as "blood kin" because it was made from his blood and... it's not WRONG.

the gate opens, the flask is shattered, Hohenheim is now immortal, and everyone in Xerxes is dead, and... Hohenheim was totally an innocent bystander who just HAPPENED to be caught up in it all?

not gonna lie: I'm not thrilled about this development.

I preferred the 03 version where Hohenheim was actively a bodysnatching jackass who decided to DO BETTER BY NOT DOING THAT. somehow the fact that he ends up immortal without trying here just sticks in my craw.

oh, no, but this means that HE KNOWS EVERYONE IN HIS PHILOSOPHER'S STONE PERSONALLY, DOESN'T HE? AHHHHHH

Father takes on Hohenheim's human form because they have the same blood and it's convenient?(also:hot, though I doubt the blob is interested in sex appeal.)

Father: Isn't it great? immortality, amirite? Hohenheim: *through gritted teeth* Thanks, I hate it.

Father and Hohenheim each got half of Xerxes' population, aka half the power.

turns out this was all a dream-flashback and Hohenheim is actually asleep on a train in the present and Izumi wakes him up.

have they met before? signs point to no because Hohenheim doesn't seem to know her. I'd ask how Izumi recognized him, but Hoheheim looks JUST LIKE ED so it's not like it's *hard*.

most awkward parent-teacher conference ever? but actually izumi starts coughing up blood and Hohenheim realizes she's performed human transmutation and opened a gate and uses alchemy to help her.

he can't restore the lost organs (I'm not sure WHY not - he has a philosopher's stone, that's like the whole point) but it helps.

AND THEN HE JUST COMES OUT AND SAYS HE'S A PHILOSOPHER'S STONE IN HUMAN FORM, ARRGGHH, WHYYYYYY, I don't get why he can't just fix her!!

sig decks hohenheim and I'm so thrilled, even if it doesn't actually take. THANK YOU SIG, I LOVE U.

Also: if Hohenheim had stuck around, he could have healed Trisha and she probably wouldn't have died and his sons would never have lost their bodies trying to bring her back, so FUCK YOU HOHENHEIM, THIS IS LITERALLY ALL YOUR FAULT. (And apparently, the homunculi are too, at least indirectly). FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

[timeagainreviews]

My Series 10 Rewatch: The Pilot

Hello friends! If you caught my last update, you'll know I took the last couple weeks off to study for my Life in the UK test. My test was on Saturday and I am happy to report that I passed! I think it took me longer to go through security than to take the actual test. After two weeks of studying, I am very much ready to get back into the groove of talking about Doctor Who. We now continue with my series ten rewatch!

The title "The Pilot," is an interesting choice for the first official episode of series ten. While it references the plot of the episode, there is also an implication that this story is a bit of a reset to a new beginning. It acts as a pilot to the Doctor and Bill show. Not only had Clara been the companion for basically three seasons at this point, there was also a year of hiatus between "The Husbands of River Song," and "The Return of Doctor Mysterio." It is a weird placement for a final season for a showrunner and lead actor. It's also a weird place to drop a brand new companion.

This new version of Doctor Who opens with the Doctor as a university professor teaching possibly the worst class on campus, that everyone seems to love. His star pupil is a girl named Bill, who isn't actually a student but loves his lectures. Speaking of star pupils, there is also a love interest for Bill in the form of a girl named Heather, but more on that later. The Doctor's office at the university is peppered with references to the past. On his desk sits a jar with the sonic screwdrivers of previous Doctors, like an assortment of pens. There are also portraits of River and Susan. And tucked away in the corner of the room sits the TARDIS, with an "out of order," sign hanging from its doors.

The first time I watched this episode I started to groan at the fact that the TARDIS was out of commission. Not because it should never happen, but more that I expected this to be incredibly tedious. After several years of Steven Moffat's plot arks leading to disappointment, I was bracing to be underwhelmed. As it turns out, the TARDIS works as good as it ever did. But the Doctor and Nardole are grounded regardless. This is due to the fact that there is some sort of door or safe they've been tasked with guarding, which brings us back to the whole bracing for mediocrity thing. I remember immediately thinking "Missy is in there." Spoiler alert- she absolutely is.

Dumb safes and meaningless promises meant to build up empty intrigue aside, the real reason to get excited for series ten is Bill. I was immediately interested in the concept of a black gay companion with a gender fucky name. I remember when the pictures circulated of her wearing a vintage Prince jumper and everyone was speculating whether she was from the '80s or '90s. This only added to my excitement for her character. As many of you know, I am a big fan of the idea of companions in modern Doctor Who that aren't from modern-day earth. Sadly, as it turns out, she's not a hip '80s lesbian, she's once again from modern-day England. Oh well, at least Nardole is from the future. Though I don't understand why he is suddenly a cyborg that makes whirring noises and drops lug nuts. There was none of that in Doctor Mysterio.

The Doctor calls Bill into his office where he confronts her about attending his classes. He wants to take her on as her personal tutor, despite her not being a student. He mentions that he noticed she smiles when she's confused, which is a good indication that she is openminded and naturally curious. It's even implied that he sees a little bit of Susan in her. I liked that little nod to Susan, though it begs the question why the new series has never had her return. While looking at the pictures, Bill indicates that she has no pictures of her mother before she died.

The Doctor uses this as an opportunity to do a kindness for his new friend Bill. Using his ability to time travel, the Doctor goes back in time to take a shoebox worth of photos of Bill's mother. Nevermind that doing this might change the trajectory of her mother's life, thus undoing any chance that she might meet Bill's father. It's a sweet moment for Bill, but it's undercut by Moffat's shitty writing. Bill notices the Doctor's reflection in one of the photos, but never brings it up. She doesn't even thank him. It doesn't really go anywhere other than to inform the audience that the TARDIS does, in fact, still work.

It's this kind of gay people need tragic backstories for no reason mentality that frames a lot of this episode. While I applaud Moffat's inclusion of a gay companion, it comes off as a middle-aged man's depiction of a young gay woman. There is diversity on the screen, but none in the writing room. This is made all the more apparent by Bill's horrible chips anecdote. Bill has a crush on a student who comes into the cafeteria where she works. So she gives her extra chips every day until it starts making the girl fat. The Doctor asks her why she is telling him this story and she replies with "I was hoping it would go somewhere." As did Steven Moffat, but it didn't. It just hangs there like a fart saying "Did I mention I was gay?"

The next few scenes take place over a montage. We see Bill and the Doctor in their respective student and tutor roles. And we also see Bill having a bit of a social life. Bill catches the starry-eyed glances of Heather at a club and they both stand there on the dance floor staring at each other. There's an implication that the two of them are into each other, but we never actually see anything to show why they would actually like one another other than raw animal attraction. In fact, their few interactions are actually rather awkward and cold. There's about as much chemistry between the two of them as there was between Clara and Danny. Which if you remember was zero.

There isn't really a whole lot of focus on anything other than characters for this episode. Moffat usually writes in one of two ways- heavy on character and light on plot, or so heavy on plot that it sits weird against his characters. This would be the former, as the plot is nearly non-existent. Bill begins to notice Heather around and tries to chat her up. Heather shows Bill a puddle that doesn't make sense considering it hadn't rained in days. I kind of love Bill's reasoning that the puddle is piss from the men on campus. That was genuinely funny. Well done, Moffat. But there is more to this puddle in that it also shows your reflection wrong. Heather notices this because the reflection of the star in her eye isn't where it should be.

Let's talk about Heather for a moment. She's a very odd character. Firstly, there is her eye, which has a defect that gives her iris a star shape. Bill asks the Doctor what kind of defect would do this, but neither the Doctor or the show has an answer. Much like Moffat's running gag from "The Curse of the Fatal Death," said- I'll explain later. But later never comes. Other than her eye, Heather's other two biggest traits are that she's most likely a lesbian and that she wants to leave. Her personality isn't really all that important other than to act as the thrust for the plot, which is sadly from another episode of Doctor Who altogether.

Doctor Who is a very old show. It’s bound to repeat itself. Chris Chibnall ripped off "The Silurians," wholesale with "The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood." I get that this was necessary as a means to re-establish the Silurians and why they've remained underground. But on other occasions, Doctor Who seems to repeat itself out of sheer laziness. Remember when the library in "Forest of the Dead," saves everyone at their time of death? Or when Missy plucks people out of their timeline at their time of death? Or when the Testimony records people in history at their time of death? Or when the Thijarians comfort people at their time of death? Because I do. So it's not surprising that when Moffat wants to steal from another episode, he steals from one from his own stint as showrunner.

The episode I'm talking about is "The Lodger," written by transphobic Brexiteer shitlord- Gareth Roberts. In it, a spaceship disguised as a top story flat lures people to their demise while searching for a pilot to take it into space. The ship's main criteria for a pilot is that the candidate be someone with wanderlust. Does any of this sound familiar? That's the exact same M.O. of the mysterious puddle. It latches onto Heather because it senses her desire to travel and extrapolates that into consent to take over her body and use her to pilot it around the universe. However, another part of Heather's psyche has kept it earthbound- a desire to be with Bill. If you remember correctly, this is very similar to how "The Lodger," ended. Craig and Sophie's desire to stay together is what kept them from being reduced to ash by a machine too stupid to realise it was killing its host.

Now, I understand that it sounds like I'm ripping on Moffat quite a bit, but I actually do like him as a writer. "Heaven Sent," is one of the best episodes in the entire history of Doctor Who. This one, however, is not great. After the puddle overtakes Heather's body, it begins to follow Bill everywhere. At first, Bill thinks the puddle is Heather, but her creepy Midnight-esque repetition of everything Bill says is enough to raise suspicion. Bill begins to run to the safety of the Doctor, where she finds him and Nardole fussing with the giant safe. The room in which the safe is located only lets friends inside, which is either telling or worrying as the puddle is able to simply wash into the room under the door. As I watched the water flow down the stairs I found myself feeling forgiving toward the effects department from "The Horror of Fang Rock." Green blobs beat slow-mo water any day.

For no reason other than it needed to be more spooky, the puddle screams like a wraith every time we see it. I loved the little addition of Heather's wet mascara adding to her ghostly appearance. The Doctor, Nardole, and Bill take a trip around space and time to see if they can shake the puddle. But no matter where they go, the puddle is never far behind. For a creature made of water, it certainly is thirsty. And trust me, that's far better a pun than the one I was considering. The WAP references were just too low of a fruit.

For reasons I can't exactly pinpoint, the Doctor decides to take the chase right in the middle of a battle between the Daleks and the Movellans. While I love the return of the Movellans in all of their Rick James majesty, it's a very weird scene. As far as I can devise, the Doctor is merely trying to see if the puddle can withstand the blast of a Dalek. It almost feels like Moffat needed to wake the audience up with a jolt of Dalek action. Up to this point, there has been very little tension. What I can't figure out is what Nardole is doing with the Fourth Doctor's sonic screwdriver the whole time. From what I can tell, he's shutting doors, closing off the corridors and locking Daleks out. Maybe? I really don't understand.

The Puddle takes the form of a Dalek just long enough to make us worry that maybe Nardole didn't get them all. Watching the Dalek disintegrate into a puddle of water was genuinely cool. I was reminded of things like the clear Dalek from "Revelation of the Daleks," or the visible innards of the teleporting Dalek in "Remembrance of the Daleks." I like it when the show does weird visual stuff with the Daleks. It's part of why I love Davros so much. The puddle reforms as Heather, holding out her hand for Bill to take, which the Doctor warns her not to take.

Part of the tragedy of the Doctor's character is how oblivious he is to human emotion. It's part of why he needs human companions in the first place. He couldn't possibly conceive of a situation where Heather's own yearning for Bill might be the cause for all of their problems. But Bill sees this. She sees the human desire underneath all of the scary and so she too reaches out, grasping hands with Heather. What I don't understand is why Heather needed to leave and see the universe without Bill. Why they needed to say goodbye at all is more of that "gays can't have nice things," bullshit I mentioned earlier. Let's walk through the logic a bit.

Toward the beginning of the episode, the Doctor explains that the acronym for TARDIS- Time and relative dimension in space, means life. If you think about this, it's him saying that life is basically you in a point of time and a point of space, relative to you. Thus it explains the very essence of being alive and experiencing the universe from your unique perspective. But toward the end of the episode, he changes this position to mean that TARDIS means "What the hell?" As in, just go ahead and live life how you choose. This comes after the Doctor trying to wipe Bill's mind and deciding he can't. This leads to the Doctor allowing himself to travel, despite the promise he made about the safe nobody cares about. Basically, Heather doesn't get to join in on the Doctor and Bill's travels because Moffat still had to do a thing.

A lot of this episode is neutered by this need to adhere to the season ark. Which I now realise is a major contributing factor as to why I so often forget Nardole is a companion. Nardole is forced to become the Doctor's babysitter, forcing him to hide his travels with Bill. Because of this, we see Nardole as more of an authority figure than a companion. He's the strict schoolmaster the Doctor and Bill are forced to sneak past on their way to adventure. What this does, sadly, is cut Nardole out of a lot of the adventures. The same thing happened to Danny Pink, whose opposition to the Doctor often times left him out of the fun. Also like Danny Pink, it's an arrangement that worked best with Rory Williams and has been imitated to hell and back since.

While I can't consider this episode a total success, I also can't write it off outright. It would be easy to damn it in a "Simpsons did it," fashion for taking its plot from a previous episode. It would be easy to write it off for being plot light queer bait where nothing really happens. I could rail on the inclusion of the Daleks for the sake of Daleks. But I have to ask myself- what is the function of this episode? The answer to this question brings me back to its title. This episode is a pilot for a new iteration of the series. We're in a new place with some new faces, and some familiar ones. The pieces on the board have changed location and strategy. If the function of this episode was to hit reset, I would say it succeeds.

Bill is a very likeable character. You immediately want to see more of her. Her introduction is both charming and endearing. The roundabout way she took to arrive at saying "it's bigger on the inside," seemed less thick than quirky, which is right on the money. You want to see more of her. You want to hear more of her questions. You want to experience the universe through the filter of her perception. We needed a companion who was different from the previous one. It was important that the audience is able to move forward with the new cast. We're not comparing Bill to Clara as many did with Martha and Rose. We're not being asked to forget the past any more than we are being asked to cling to it. This is exactly the right tone and in that way, I find it to be wholly successful.

[aion-rsa]

WandaVision Episode 9: The Big Questions We Need Answered

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This article contains WandaVision spoilers.

With just one episode left in the season – and technically the series – the finale of WandaVision has a lot of ground to cover.

Its penultimate installment was not just a heartbreaking retrospective of just how terrible Wanda’s life has been and how much she has suffered, it gave us an entirely new understanding of a character that’s been part of this universe for four feature films to date. Plus, there’s the whole thing where a secret government agency appears to have reanimated Vision’s dead body to use as a weapon, and Wanda herself is most likely a legendary, all-powerful witch. 

How the series plans to wrap up these dangling plot threads in addition to laying the groundwork for the upcoming Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and establishing what comes next is anyone’s guess. But there are a few things that WandaVision is going to have to tell us in order for this series to truly stick the landing as the MCU’s most ambitious – and best – project yet. (Which right now, with one episode to go, is a title it wins by a mile.)

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Here are nine burning questions we need the WandaVision finale to answer.

What is the Scarlet Witch?

In an episode filled almost to bursting with surprisingly rich callbacks to multiple MCU films, the biggest moment was still probably Wanda being directly referred to as the Scarlet Witch for the first time. But what that actually means is anyone’s guess. 

Sure, she’s powerful enough to literally rewrite reality and turn a run-down New Jersey town into a classic sitcom paradise. But that’s not exactly news – she did destroy an Infinity Stone and almost take down Thanos in the Avengers movies. Agatha bestows the name upon her as though it means something significant, as if Wanda’s some sort of magical harbinger that has a larger role to play in…something (and the Scarlet Witch costume Wanda sees in her vision would seem to back that up). But who or what is she?

What Does Agatha Harkness Actually Want?

Most of us have assumed that Agatha Harkness must technically be the Big Bad of WandaVision – I mean, the song says that she’s been pulling every evil string, c’mon – but “Previously On” hints that may not entirely be the case. The creation of Westview was clearly a result of Wanda’s chaos magic, so…what is Agatha doing there? And what is her ultimate goal?

Has she sought Wanda out simply to determine where her power comes from? To try and steal it for herself? To suss out another powerful witch to become besties with? (Agatha was Wanda’s mentor in the comics.) 

Are we meant to read Agatha as a true villain – or something more complicated? I mean, she does put Wanda’s kids in choke collar leashes, but whether that’s out of a desire to protect herself from the Scarlet Witch or to use her in some way is still unclear.

Is Vision Somehow Alive Again?

Well, there go our theories that poor Wanda has just been puppeting her dead boyfriend’s corpse around Westview (thankfully – that idea was always dark af). Instead, it appears that this is more of a Vision 2.0, a being created by a combination of an incredibly powerful dose of Wanda’s chaos magic, her memories of the man she loved, and the overwhelming grief she can’t seem to control.  But does that mean Vision is actually alive? Like, could appear in another MCU film, alive?  And if so, why can’t he leave the boundaries of the Hex? Does he even have a physical body, or is his form just a Wanda-powered projection?

What is Tyler Hayward’s Endgame – and Why Is He Trying to Blame Wanda for it?

One of the biggest revelations in “Previously On” was that Wanda did not, in fact, storm into SWORD headquarters and steal back her boyfriend’s dead body. Instead, she actually experienced a quietly shattering moment of grief in which she accepted that the Vision she loved was truly gone. So…why did SWORD director Tyler Hayward not only insist that she did, he literally put together a deep fake video to prove it?

Hayward has been a fairly shady figure since he first appeared on WandaVision, but this is some next-level mustache-twirling stuff. Has he just been trying to turn Vision’s body into a weapon – seemingly mission accomplished there – or has he been crafting a much larger and more nefarious scheme? 

After all, he is on record as hating the superpowered beings that he believes are responsible for both the Snap that erased half the population and the Blip that brought everyone back but ultimately devastated those left behind in the meantime. Is the White Vision his revenge on Wanda – and those like her – in some way? (Truly, so many problems could be solved in the universe of the MCU if people just got some help for their PTSD, but that’s a rant for another day.) Or is Hayward’s scheme more complicated in some way?

What is the Purpose of the White Vision?

The Dr. Manhattan-esque White Vision revealed in this week’s credits scene is both creepy and heartbreaking at the same time. The real Vision, after all, had specifically requested that he not be brought back or used as some kind of weapon after his death. And now he’s been made into what is likely some sort of soulless killing machine, using his soulmate’s magic and against his own wishes. How Hayward figured out how to reanimate Vision, what vibranium he was tracking in the Hex, and what he intends to do with this new weapon he’s made are all outstanding questions. But none of them likely have happy answers. 

Look, we probably have to start preparing ourselves now emotionally for the fact that Wanda is going to have to fight the reanimated body of her dead lover, who probably won’t even remember her name. And she’ll have to do it with the magical recreation of him she made in Westview at her side, in a battle that will more than likely destroy both Visions by the end of it.

And at this point, we’re going to need a WandaVision Season 2 in order to deal with Wanda’s trauma from all of that (that’s not a complaint, by the way).

Is Wanda a Mutant Now?

With the X-Men franchise officially part of the MCU, the question has to be asked: Is Wanda Maximoff officially a mutant now? Her exposure to the Mind Stone clearly triggered or otherwise activated some latent abilities – powers that the show implied would have vanished otherwise.

Wanda and Pietro appear to be the only two individuals who survived HYDRA’s attempts to create supervillains using the Mind Stone. Does this mean that Pietro’s survival also indicates that his powers were merely latent and then “activated” by their experiments?

Does this twist give Wanda back her official mutant roots, or is it just an origin story for witches in the Marvel universe? 

Where’s Monica?

When last we saw Monica Rambeau, she was getting busted for snooping by Agatha’s nebulously explained fake version of Pietro Maximoff. Since she doesn’t appear in “Previously On” we’re still not sure where she is, what’s happened to her in the meantime, or what role she has to play in the finale. 

One has to assume she’ll show up to fight at Wanda’s side – whether that’s against Agatha or the White Vision or both – but how? 

We also don’t know much yet about her superpowers. We’re all assuming she’s basically just inheriting her comics abilities as Spectrum, but will those abilities work outside of the Hex or without Wanda to power them?

What Does This All Mean for Pietro?

Though we journey back to the HYDRA base in which Wanda and her brother were experimented on, we don’t see any hint of Pietro in this episode (and, no, the child version doesn’t count). We know that the Evan Peters version is a fake conjured by Agatha to pry information on how she created the Hex out of Wanda – how is she powering that by the way? And how does Fake Pietro know so much real Maximoff history? – but what does all this new backstory mean for the Maximoff brother who died? 

What happened to Pietro when he encountered the Mind Stone? Were his powers also latent and only “activated” by the stone like Wanda’s (and thus making him a mutant)? And does any of this somehow open a door to bring Quicksilver back to the MCU?

Who is the Aerospace Engineer?

Yes, we’ve all apparently spent weeks thinking about a throwaway line from Monica back in WandaVision’s fifth episode, in which she references an aerospace engineer she knows who might be up for the challenge of figuring out the Hex. 

Maybe it’s nothing, but this is Marvel, so it’s almost guaranteed not to be nothing. 

Could Monica’s mysterious friend be Reed Richards and could SWORD serve as a way to finally introduce the Fantastic Four into the MCU? It’s more than possible – it’s practically likely at this point. There are other options – Victor Von Doom and Hank McCoy are also notable Marvel scientists we’ve yet to meet in the MCU – but doesn’t Reed just make the most sense?

How Will WandaVision  Lead Into Doctor Strange 2?

One of the few things we do know about the WandaVision finale is that it’s somehow connected to and will likely lead directly into the upcoming MCU film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. At this point, it seems safe to say that Wanda is more likely than not responsible for both the multiverse and the madness parts of that title, and the finale will involve her somehow fully becoming the Scarlet Witch and unleashing some cosmic chaos powers. But where does that kind of ending leave  Wanda and Vision? Will Doctor Strange himself show up – either to defeat the White Vision or stop Wanda from ripping down the walls of reality? Will Vision have to die again? And how does Agatha Harkness fit into things? (At this point, she’s more than earned a place in Doctor Strange 2, if you ask me.)

The post WandaVision Episode 9: The Big Questions We Need Answered appeared first on Den of Geek.

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