#I can just imagine him going to help the kids play baseball on the beach and realizing as soon as he picks up a bat that he doesn’t have

[designernishiki]

nishiki 12, 29?? 👀 i want to create chaos -squishy

sorry this was so late aghsdhahdh I always write too much and then have to whittle things down a bit so my thoughts are comprehensible

12. sexuality hc?

wellll I can pretty easily accept either gay or bi, but the way I interpret some of his actions/history/behavior/etc makes my personal view of him lean more towards gay than anything.

he’s never really shown real interest/attraction to women beyond using them as status symbols, and the whole thing with yumi made no sense (for him and kiryu both- you know my opinion on that plotpoint by now) and if I had to explain it rather than ignore it I’d have to say it was a weird half-assed excuse he came up with to explain some of his actions instead of addressing his actual issues at first.

but yeah I mean come on. have you SEEN reina. she’s cool and ridiculously pretty and goes above and beyond to care for him and others in general and etc etc etc, she was interested for YEARS and he never reciprocated At All. to me the Easiest explanation for that, whether he was aware of it or not (probably not), is just. him not really being into women. and possibly (at least at first) respecting reina enough to not fake her out and treat her like the girls that he had hang around him at the bars to look good to his superiors. in fact I think if he were to open up about all this to anyone it would be her (drunk, crying).

idk, a lot about him just sort of makes sense when you consider him to be gay and very repressed. boy’s got identity issues off the SHITS already, so it ties into that quite naturally.

29. how do you think they would be as a parent?

I think it depends on where he is in his recovery (mentally and physically) and the circumstances leading to that parenthood. similar to kiryu, I think he’d connect with orphans well and empathize with them strongly for obvious reasons. if he were to spend time in okinawa, perhaps to help him recover after The Incident, he’d be pretty closed off and prickly with everyone, kids included, at first– but honestly I think they’d help alot to get him to open up, regain trust, and enjoy life again. I don’t think he’d want to do it alone, or trust himself to, but he could end up fitting in pretty naturally as a guardian to them, and on the flip side, he’d benefit from having genuine care and lack of judgment through a tough recovery.

(I think he’d become quickly attached to riona above all else due to them sharing some feelings about their burn scars and how they look, and survivors guilt surrounding their parents)

[symphonicmetal101]

OM Boys- Favourite Activites as Kids HCs

So I am hoping to have another few posts up soon, one will be referencing this one, but I got a sudden burst of motivation so here we go-

Lucifer: He only tolerated a lot of the things he had to do in the Celestial Realm, he had a reputation to uphold. But his favourite thing to do would be play the piano, as Lilith would often join him and the two would weave intricate harmonies together- another reason why now whenever Lucifer plays the piano it is always slightly haunting and eerie, because even an untrained ear can tell something is missing.

Mammon: Ok so these guys have been around here for forever so you cannot tell me Mammon and Levi's drawings as kids didn't end up as dinosaurs- on another note, Mammon loved to "invent" when he was younger, collecting spare bits here and there, especially shiny ones- and putting them together however he thought they fit best. In the Celestial Realm he wanted to help others gain fortune, thus the want to invent. It failed...often but not all the time, but when it did Lucifer gave him pointers here and there, if for nothing else to see little Mams determined face as he set to work again-

Levi: Like I said, probably an artsy kid, and huge imagination- also spent a lot of time near the water, even in the Celestial Realm, I think he would have loved making art out of things he found on the beach, whether he did sand art, collected seaweed and arranged it "just so", rocks, clams, etc. He didn't share it with anyone, because he didn't think it was good enough to share, the one time he did, Mammon walked through it and then insulted it so never again- but he still enjoyed it.

Satan: Ok, real quick, despite the card animation we got, I hc that Satan came into being as a small child, a toddler- simply because I think that that is the most fitting vessel for wrath. Anyways- he is what my other post is about and some of his trauma and how he becomes accepted by his brothers- so for now because he often felt unwanted, he learned how to orienteer, so he could explore this new world on his own without bothering anybody, and be home for dinner so that he could go to his room and draw picture or maybe even write about some of the things he saw that day, the time to himself even as a kid helping him reign in his anger.

Asmo: Ah yes, the Jewel of the Heavens- even as a kid he was extremely charming and got a lot of attention for anything he did, but his favourite "me-time" activity was visiting gardens or meadows of wildflowers and picking the ones that smelled the nicest to bring home and share, or to soak in water and make his own perfume.

Beel: Beel was definitely the sports kid of the bunch, and of course spent a lot of his time with Belphie and Lilith, but his favourite thing to do would be to Lilith's hair. Asmo and Lilith taught him how to braid, and he loved how happy she looked, even if he didn't do it quite right.

Belphie: Belphie had a lot more ambition and drive as a kid, and honestly all I can see in my head is him and Beel being on a little league baseball team- maybe he was the waterboy idk man I can't get this out of my head now soooorry

Barbatos: I mean there was that one post that Barb worked at the Fall when he was younger so- Barb was raised as a noble in the Devildom, and had access to a lot of things, but his favourite thing to do when he was young was use his power to go into the human world and explore its present and past and sometimes even future to gather little trinkets as he learned more about it. Of course, there was an end put to this eventually, but he managed save all the things he's collected, and would be more than happy to share any story about them.

Diavolo: You know Anna from Frozen? Yep- his hobby was making friends out of the inanimate objects around the castle in an attempt to feel like he had friends- it was his favourite because it was the only thing that couldn't be taken away from him, but also wasn't mandatory, though he did enjoy some of the things he was made to do and learn as heir to the throne...but at least imaginary friends can never truly leave you alone, right? Not like his father

Simeon: I feel like Simeon knew how to sew or knit when he was little, and made stuffies for the brothers/other kids or little clothes for already existing plushies because he loved how happy they looked when he gave them one, even if it wasn't perfect

Solomon: honestly his favourite hobby was playing pranks on other people, regardless of whether he knew magic or not-and still is his favourite thing to do-

Thanks for reading!

Masterlist

[goldlightsaber]

A Quiet Place Part II

Wow, I just came back from the movie theatre, and I am so pleased that this movie was everything I wanted it to be. So here it goes, another movie analysis/review.

Dare I say iconique? 

There was a lot hinging A Quiet Place Part II. It is one of the first movies “back in theaters.” There was a lot of anticipation because the movie got delayed for over a year. But I don’t think it could’ve come out at a more perfect time. One of the things I noticed about the world of A Quiet Place was that, in thematic ways, it reflects our own. In the height of the pandemic, everyone in our world was scared, worried about supplies running low, losing loved ones, and grieving a life they once had. Like in the movie, we were all forced to lay low by staying inside. Maybe I was projecting my own feelings, but I found it to be highly relatable and touching in that way (without being tragic but rather uplifting instead).

Onto the actual contents, though. The opening scene was *chef’s kiss.* You feel tension right away because of how eerily quiet the town is mid-day, a foreshadowing of what’s to come. Except everything is too neat, the cars too perfectly parked, no windows broken -- we know it is the calm before the storm. I love the patient shot of the stoplight changing lights. We are waiting for disaster to strike but just don’t know when it will. 

The baseball scene subverted a few of my expectations -- I thought Emmett would be a stranger to the family so I was surprised he turned out to be a friendly family acquaintance. This worked well because it probably made Emmett feel some obligation in helping Evelyn and her family later. I also expected Marcus to hit the ball eventually because of the two initial misses -- but then the fireball passes through the sky and life as they know it is over. 

Some part of me expected the flashback scene to be superfluous and just an opportunity to show John Krasinski again, but it served its purpose -- when characters refer to “that day,” we feel the gravity of it because of what we saw in the opening segment. 

I didn’t expect the monster when it first appeared. You expect Lee to have a conversation with the cop, for the monster to show up soon but not just yet -- and then Lee, almost dissociating, is rushing back to his truck after what was no doubt the most traumatic sight of his life at that point. He starts the car with the it’s-going-to-be-all-right facade a parent must don for their child. 

There were several other excellent “oh-shit” moments in this movie. One of my favorites was, after Evelyn sets off the booby trap that attracts the monster (an excellent oh-shit moment in and of itself but already revealed in the trailer), Marcus gets his foot caught in a bear trap. When he screams, it’s like watching a glass you knocked over to the floor crash into a million pieces. My brain was just one big shout of “OH SHIT” and nothing else. Emily Blunt’s acting was superb here and throughout -- the way she played desperation and a simultaneous love for her child was palpable.

Cillian Murphy is an excellent addition to the cast. I was particularly mesmerized by his acting in all the breathy dialogue scenes where he’s protesting against either Evelyn or Regan. Emmett felt believable in all his sweaty, scruffy glory.  He keeps insisting he doesn’t want to help, but, very wholesomely, he always does. He’s a sucker for them from the start. And whether he and Regan like it or not, he is slowly becoming the protective father figure in her life. He can’t get in the way of her plans and her genius, and he can never replace Lee, but the love is there. I love their arc.

And speaking of Regan...

Wow, did the kids in this movie shine. Millicent Simmonds and Noah Jupp absolutely exceeded my expectations. Boy, could Jupp scream and look scared for his life. He was completely believable in his role. And Simmonds walks with this quiet strength, this gentleness. I loved what they did with the scenes where Regan and Emmett were struggling to communicate and she had to keep bringing him back down to Earth. I love the way this movie changes the game for what communication looks like -- there is rarely yelling or even regular-volume conversation. Instead there is sign language, exhales, whispers, the mouthing of words. This creates a mesmerizing atmosphere for the movie. These silences and moments of white-noise do not mean the absence of humans speaking to each other. 

I’m not sure how I feel about the shady, red-eyed community of people on the docks. They looked like they were all on drugs and walked like zombies. And the creepy little girl who trapped Emmett just felt like she belonged to another genre of horror? This isn’t a “creepy children” horror movie, it’s an eldritch monster horror movie! It wasn’t the most believable plot point but I wasn’t super opposed to it, either. I wanted to know more about these shady people. I fully expected them to take Emmett and Regan back to their leader or tribal base, but nope, they were just shady people (the kind not worth saving). 

This isn’t a criticism per say but I was definitely expecting more scenes between Emmett and the entire Abbott family, so I was a little sad they split them up and we didn’t get a reunion. This is a possible tease for a third movie -- as is the expanding world of the island and the lack of a total end to the apocalypse. And, of course, there are hints that Evelyn and Emmett might have a future together -- Evelyn symbolically takes off her wedding ring and Emmett reluctantly but naturally fills the father role for the children. At the same time, we leave off at a point where we can imagine what happens next and don’t need to know more -- it can be up to our interpretation. They can end the movie there, since it is clear that the children have figured out how to defeat the monsters.

And speaking of that, the ending had a very Stranger Things feel to it. Never mind that the monsters from each respective series look almost identical -- the ending takes a surprise turn when it is the two Abbott children who take things into their own hands and kill the monsters while their parental figures literally sit back and watch in awe. I appreciated the message here: that young people are innovative, strong and brave enough to do the right thing. They are capable of great things; it’s all right to trust them and let them take the reins. 

I think the movie’s atmosphere is just lovely. Just because it’s horror doesn’t mean there can’t be scenic shots of a sunset on the beach. That’s what I like about both movies so much -- they don’t feel like most horror movies because they still leave room for beauty and tenderness and hope.

Overall, a very enjoyable film. I would love to see the family reunion if there is a sequel -- and that the potential sequel is helmed by the right writers/director once again! Go, John Krasinski! He killed it.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it wasn’t power i coveted; it was acceptance.

Titans 3.06

y’know, i was just thinking the other day that 1.06/1.07 and 2.06/2.07 were the best episodes of their respective seasons, so i have great hopes going in to this one. fingers crossed!

as always, typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. oh! um... that was a Cold Open, all right. *nudges* get it? cold? because it’s snowing? and two people got murdered in cold blood? eh?

... oh, i’ve just started.

1.5. i wonder if “i want to be sipping pina coladas on a beach with you” is the new “i’m just one day away from retiring.” i was so on edge after that--i kept expecting that car to explode. even so, the way they died wasn’t an anticlimax: brutal, and quick. 

1.75. so i’m assuming that’s the titular lady vic! this show better bring up why this doll was important or why these two cops needed to be killed, and not leave it to the ether like jericho’s little mindscape jaunt in 2.08 (i’m still dying to know what that was about???)

2.

i love how deliberately unappealing wayne manor is. 

(sorry for the pic quality. i don’t have hbo max! ssshhh.)

2.3. i love the many references to “home” and “our house” when they’ve been here for less than a week and saw one of their friends get blown into pieces. i mean, i unironically love it: home is where family is, after all!

2.5. i’d like to say that kom is playing some sort of long game here, especially given the build-up we had last season and some of the more niggling details this season: why did kom choose now to use her bond to lure kory when she’s been on earth for months? why did justin call kory now, just around the time that she started getting kom’s visions? and what about kom’s ability to exactly imitate other people? hmmm.

2.75. the reason i wrote i’d like to say is that i’ve made the mistake of assuming plot complexity where there is none; i was so invested in the jason todd orchestrated his own death theory for instance, when it turns out that oops! ra’s al ghul just happened to leave a little lazarus puddle in gotham, and oh yeah! scarecrow just happens to have a network of henchmen working for him on the outside and a fully functional laboratory and a weapons cache fit for a new supervillain in the basement of the high security psychiatric unit/prison that he’s in! 

(no i’m not bitter, why do you ask)

2.8. iiiii don’t know what to say about the implications of sex slavery being a thing on tamaran, so i’m not going to say anything at all. for now.

3. gotham, six years ago... wasn’t it five years before s2 that jericho died and the titans disbanded? and when was the flashback from 1.06 where dick let zucco die? i think it was after the events of 2.08: jericho? i can’t seem to find any transcripts or reliable information online, so i’m going to have to rewatch 1.06 at some point. 

(i love the old-fashioned batman music in this heist scene)

3.5. “security is a joke... it’s my way of keeping my dad on his toes”. what you’re an ethical thief now, like an ethical hacker? i don’t think that excuse is going to sell, barbara, on the day you do encounter a decent security system and your father is forced to arrest you.

(then again, gotham’s security is piss-poor. did you know that you could just walk into arkham asylum without any official clearance, ply one of its most dangerous inhabitants with contraband, and said inmate could get away with having an entire laboratory and weapons cache--NO I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO)

3.8 so that flashback between dick and barbara was really cute! and also illuminating:

a) dick sounds so light, so... um. look. i have some apologies to tender to mr thwaites, because while i’ve always thought he does a fine job as dick grayson, i’ve never been terribly fond of his cadence as he delivers dialogue. it’s often monotonous, i thought, but then again, he’s usually delivering exposition or dealing with one soul-crushing crisis or the other. so i was pleasantly surprised to hear dick sound so carefree and alive in his conversation with barbara, laughing frequently, his emotions so bare and bubbling to the surface. it’s really a fantastic contrast to the traumatised and world-weary dick grayson that we see now, even more so than the costume department just bunging a backwards-baseball cap on mr thwaites’ head and hoping that will convince us of his relative youth. 

b) and god, when he wakes up from that memory, all alone in his bed, bleeding from bullet holes in his shoulder (bullet holes that are--in a somewhat convoluted way--barbara’s fault)? yikes. it’s great. you have my apologies, mr thwaites!

c) can you imagine dick just... crawling back to wayne manor, trying not to be seen by anybody, shedding his suit and just... collapsing onto his bed without even tending to his wound? the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it? 

d) it’s so interesting to see how barbara and dick approach the idea of legacy--a big theme on the show!--in this flashback. barbara is the one bucking the idea that she should follow in her father’s footsteps, while dick seems pretty content with the batman-and-robin setup, and even tries to get barbara to join their team (robin-girl. pfffft). obviously after this several traumatic things happen wherein dick ends up questioning and then resenting his role as robin, his relationship with batman or even returning as a vigilante at all. and barbara... ends up replacing her father as commissioner. it’s tragic, really. 

e) the dynamic between dick and barbara in the flashback reminds me of how it was between dick and donna in 1.08 and even between kory and dick in early s1. it’s like having an older, strong-willed woman by his side means he gives over the steering wheel for a while and lets himself... unspool, a little bit. it’s kinda endearing.

also:

*pinches his cheeks*

3. you know, we talk about dick and Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and that’s definitely valid, but here gar seems to me the embodiment of it, with all the emotional gardening and firefighting that he’s expected to do. he’s kind of the guy expected to keep his shit together and take care of everyone else while they are falling completely to pieces, unable to carve out time to process his own trauma. he’s also picked up dick’s and kory’s tendencies to bottle up their struggles and shun appearing vulnerable, and he’s struggling in the shadow of both dick and kory undergoing acute crises, his best friend (and frequent confidante) on the other side of the world, and seeing hank die, utterly helpless to stop it. 

i’m glad that he got a chance to tell dick even a smidgeon of what he really feels, and i hope this is at least a semblance of a wake up call for dick to actually sit down and work with the people he repeatedly calls family.

3.5. it’s heartening to see that dick immediately makes it his priority to go talk to gar. but don’t blow off kory in the process, man!

4. i’m really loving this dynamic between kom and conner--i get the idea that both of them consider each other as Unknowns, alien two times over. but conner’s only ever known the titans, who embrace being different, and kom’s only ever known... well. 

anyway, kory is Really Stressed, and honestly? #relatable. 

when you’re forced to bring an estranged family member to hang out with your friends...

4.5. i love that the titans are spending so much time in the kitchen. a real family!

5. jonathan crane is a creep and i absolutely cannot stand him.

5.25. how did he get a whole lab setup (in the basement of a hospital...?) with a bunch of whitecoats to work for him? how did he just waltz into the viewing room of an operation theatre when he’s one of the most wanted men in gotham right now? why is jason wandering around maskless when--presumably--as the adopted son of the most famous person in gotham he’d be a tad more recognisable than your average joe?

why do i expect this show to answer anything anymore?

5.5. that’s not necessarily a criticism, mind; i’ve said since season 1 that titans is very comics-like in this aspect, all about the Aesthetic and the splash-page splendour rather than the niggling unimportant details of how or when the characters got to said location. like. the camera gliding over the operation being set-up, lady vic bursting in and doing her murder dance (imagine the luck of the poor intern who chose this day and this surgery to assist) and jason, shocked and slack-jawed, framed by blood.

5.75. it’s a sobering reminder for jason that, though he chose this path in order to gain control over a world that seemed like it was rapidly spinning out of his grip, he’s only succeeded in handing over even more control to a man with an agenda that is very clearly not aligned with his own. he’s in too far to stop now, though.

5.9. i have a lot more thoughts about jason! saving it up for the end of this recap, though.

6. more kitchen time! i better see dick do some cooking soon...

(”our kitchen”! it still delights me! kitchens are So Important)

6.25. so much of dick’s issues have revolved around his relationship with bruce, so it’s completely understandable that in the wake of a huge crisis where bruce literally asks dick to replace him and be a “better” him, dick would default to all the worst things he learned from the man. and i’m glad kory’s having none of it, but come on, guys. the woman’s literally fetched her fratricidal sister out of a hole in the ground with no idea what said sister is going to do next and experiencing a burgeoning sense of guilt far, far beyond her history with the titans, and dick’s too far into his autocolonoscopy that he can’t see that she needs help.

6.5. “he services your urges”--well, as far as we know, kory is the last person he had sex with...

7. “i hope [gar] isn’t angry with me...” SIR! i thought you’d already spoken to him! smh, as the kids say. kory wouldn’t be needing to reassure you if you just took the effort to build two way emotional relationships with the rest of the team. @superohclair​ was taking about dick’s relatively low emotional intelligence? i agree.

7.5. “i got my own problems [...] you and barbara? fix it.” YOU TELL HIM, KORY

8. man i really like this weird, sad tension between dick and barbara--this sense that both of them are approaching the other based on how they remember them and are ultimately disappointed by the truth. barbara thought she could trust dick to... well, be a better batman, but dick has not only failed at that in her eyes, but repeatedly undermined her while exploiting the authority that she gave him. in dick’s eyes, this is nothing like the barbara that he knew, rebellious and ready to do whatever it takes to find something. 

like. this show sometimes really hits me in the chest about the ways it shows kids grow into adults and into caretakers, and the way it’s stop-start, the ways nothing can happen at all for a long time and then it’s Crisis Central all at once and there’s no space to breathe. the weird sort of sadness that comes with nostalgia. 

8.5. oracle name drop! i agree with barbara, any system that can just randomly tap into gotham phonelines is a monster.

8.7. (i don’t know if it’s my imagination, but is dick holding himself... differently in this episode? like that wound is definitely bothering him, and he’s running on fumes)

9. man, that was a really sweet scene between kom and conner. “feeling alien in your own world”... “not quite here nor there”

honestly this team runs on conner and gar’s faith in their value as a family, and it’s a sign of conner’s generous heart that he extends that opportunity to blackfire. this arc of maturation for him, where he’s now able to consciously choose which parts of himself he can use to do the thing he wants to so--save people--has been so fulfilling to recognise. this baby’s grown with the titans! and what he’s learnt is that people can get fucked up, but the titans is a place where they can be fucked up, and grow.

MY MAN CONNER

10. oh man i’m drinking in the gar-dick interaction in this episode like i’m three days into the desert and it’s the only source of water for miles around!

a) gar is absolutely not dealing with dick’s bullshit this episode and I LOVE IT. it’s such a far cry from the man who was idolising dick/robin back in s1 and expecting him to solve all their problems. dick is fallible, dick is fucked up, but he Tries His Best and that’s ok.

b) dick, huffing and puffing through that vent, unable to put any pressure on his left shoulder, trying to have a heart to heart with gar... fuck i love this asshole. 

c) bruce took in a kid who was suffering... “and made him into a weapon”. well. i absolutely agree with dick that it was bruce who put these kids into these horrible situations with him and they came away with a bucketload of trauma to add to the one that they already had. but we know that bruce was really trying with jason, and at the end of s2, dick was coming to acknowledge that bruce had offered him something that wasn’t just darkness. jason’s death and bruce’s reaction to that shattered that fragile progress.

d) “gotham got to me too.” i feel more sympathetic towards dick running off on his own than most, and it’s not just because i’m an unapologetic stan.  we’ve seen before that dick... devolves when overwhelmed, and he lashes out and makes ill thought out decisions and just Does Not Deal. it happened after hearing the news that deathstroke had returned in s2, and it didn’t help that everyone around him was reeling at the news, either. this time, however, he has his salvation in his family, and despite some stupid decisions like running off and kidnapping supervillains without telling his team, he’s been really on the ball this season. thinking clearly and logically, holding it together and working on a plan, thinking two steps ahead of the villains... yes.

e) gar needing to believe that jason isn’t beyond redemption... there’s a lot of blood on his hands, too, from when he was manipulated by cadmus last season. it makes sense why he’d relate to jason’s predicament, and i hope dick picked up on that.

f) my head just added a plaintive ow after dick jumped feet first into the storage room

i need, crave gifs of this scene!

11. *sits on hands* i’m going to talk more about red hood, i promise!

12. more gar and dick! is it my birthday??!!

(actually, according to the tamil calendar, it is my birthday! my “star” birthday)

12.5. excellent. dick using some implausible training that bruce taught him to solve a mystery? passing some of that knowledge onto gar? that proud smile when he sees gar perfectly execute moves that he taught him? MY HEART IS EXPLODING

13. aw, i love flashback!dick and barbara, they’re so cute <3

13.25. why does it not surprise me that the way he proposes a relationship to barbara is by saying “we make sense”? this guy can deduce exactly who was present where and what weapon they were holding from a garbled audio recording but other times he’s utterly clueless, and that’s a consistent character beat right from s1

13.5. so.... that’s why lady vic has it out for... barbara....? i don’t get it. it’s flimsy. but hey! the fun thing about titans is that i don’t have to get it. the payoff has nothing to do with the plot.

14. i can’t believe that barbara fell for that, but at least that wheelchair fight looked awesome, so.

15. oh yeah, i forgot that red hood bullied the mob into helping him and scarecrow... at least that explains the whitecoats and the elaborate set-up.

15.5. honestly i love how this dynamic between kory and kom is developing, though i wish more of the team would pay attention to it. time to call justin, i think!

16. i wonder what happened after that second flashback where barbara got hurt during that heist. did she give up on doing any more (maybe jim caught her)? was it because dick was called away by bruce and then the titans and got caught up in his own issues? maybe barbara froze him out because she wasn’t looking for the relationship that he was looking for? maybe the idea of doing that with someone turning into batman-lite was just... unappealing? scary?

whatever it is, it doesn’t look like dick ever processed the end of that relationship. it’s very intriguing to see where their dynamic goes next.

17. so.... what, did vic deliver some fear toxin to barbara? i... what?

17.5. and i TOLD YOU that they would never explain that doll or why vic attacked those two cops at the beginning! oh, titans. never change. 

18. did jason just randomly have tim’s restaurant burgled? god, i’m feeling a bit nauseous... are they going to kill tim’s father?

18.25. i feel like the rest of the season is going to wrestle with jason’s culpability in the horrible stuff he’s doing and i’m already seeing that prospect divide fans. on one hand, his story is taking a lot of oxygen away from other equally interesting story arcs, and he’s done some truly awful things, like indiscriminate murder, threatening to kill children, blowing up hank, and potentially killing tim’s parents. 

there’s something to be said for the kind of hold that crane has over him, and the so-called ‘anti-fear’ drug that he keeps plying jason with--he’s alone, drugged almost constantly (to the level of dependence), fresh from the trauma of being bludgeoned to death. he hasn’t conquered fear; he’s ruled by it. on the other hand, given that he’s the one character on the show given an obvious and identifiable ‘mental illness’ arc (maaaaybe dick too), one can argue that it’s irresponsible to show this progress into such violence: jason was vulnerable because he was struggling, and that left him vulnerable, but it took only a push before he became a fucking serial killer.

but that could mean we underestimate the degree of that vulnerability, and the mechanics of this universe where he fell into the clutches of the one supervillain perfectly designed to exploit that vulnerability. that helpless spiral into further and further self-destruction is all too real. it’s valuable to know that someone who has sunk that low can still seek help--actual help--and get it. 

18.5. i don’t know. it’s not a question i’m going to resolve at the end of an overlong recap at 1 in the morning. i don’t believe it’s even a question that titans can resolve. but i am interested in where they’re going next with jason.

19. this episode was genuinely great! i’m pumped for the rest of the season!

[kaimelia]

what you mean to me

a/n: hi! first of all, a huge happy birthday to @writing-about-greys ! I hope you have an amazing day, and enjoy this fic! second, I have never actually written derek before? so this is my best attempt and I hope its somewhat substantial! anyway, here’s a beach fic that also involves amelia because I needed more than one mention of her!

also, I’ve added the ‘Keep Reading’ button, but if it’s still not working/you can’t see the fic, send me a message or an anon and I can remove it!

——————————-

"So, all this time, you've been watching us? Everything?" Derek shrugged, his eyebrows raised and his elbows resting on top of his knees as if the situation was just a casual meeting.

"Not everything, but I check-in. On you, on my Mom, on Amelia, even Cristina and Addison sometimes. I try to limit myself, though; the more I see, the more painful it is to not be there beside you all, not to share that joy, and have to be alone in whatever I'm feeling." He glanced out towards the ocean as a wave crashed onto the shore. "It gets lonely without people to share the joy with, or the grief, the sadness, whatever's happening."

"It's like that when you're alive, too," Meredith whispered, her feet drawing circles in the sand below her. "I still feel alone."

"But, you're not. I mean, even now, you have a village of people spending hours by your bedside, researching every possible treatment, and don't even get me started on how much time I've seen Amelia helping Bailey with his multiplication homework." Meredith chuckled as Derek looked up at the sky. "I mean, all of these people who sacrifice everything in their lives just to help you? Meredith, you've never truly been alone."

"Amelia told me the same thing once."

"Amelia," Derek shook his head, a sly smile on his face and a breathy laugh escaping her mouth. "You'll do me a favor?" Meredith raised her eyebrows. "When you get back, you'll tell Amelia? Tell her that I'm happy for her, that I'm proud of the life she's built and who she's become."

"She wouldn't believe that you said that," Meredith shook her head with a grin playing across her lips.

"But that's the thing! We spend so much time obsessing over every mistake that we make in life; being late for work, forgetting to call our mothers, allowing the people we love to slip away from us, and we never take the time to tell them what they mean to us. But Amelia, she's built this life that I would've never imagined her having, because I was so caught up in what she was doing wrong. I mean, when I was young, I never thought she would even live to reach this point in her life." He leaned forward. "Five years ago, would you have trusted her to take care of the kids in this situation?" She was silent, and he nodded. "Exactly. But now?"

"Now, I'm permanently in debt to her." Derek stood up from the rocks and walked towards the water, just far enough for the tide to crash over his feet. He turned to Meredith and stuck his hands in his pocket.

"When she was a teenager, she told me something. She said, 'I wish I had a real sister.' And at the time, I didn't understand, because I thought that family was only the people you shared blood with. And then Addison came along, and suddenly, Amelia looked forward to family dinners and coming home after school because Addison might be there. Even after the divorce and everything, she was still family. You and Amelia definitely clashed more than Addison," he smiled.

"We're very similar, more than we realize sometimes."

"But through everything that's happened, you're family." Meredith rose up and joined him with his feet in the water.

"She's my sister."

"And even when she wasn't living with you, she was still there no matter what happened. She's still family. Meredith, everyone at that hospital has always been there for you. And if you're not there? It's like everything stops."

"Everyone keeps going on. Sure, they feel grief when they walk past my room, they wait to hear if there's an update, but they move on. It happened when George died, Lexie, Mark, you, with everyone, people move on." Derek kneeled down, cupping his hand and splashing water on his face.

"But it's never the same. I could spend an eternity telling you about every time I've watched Amelia stop everything she's doing because seeing Bailey jumping off the swing the same way I did when we were kids hit her, or Zola has crawled into her closet and pulled out that notepad to write to me about her day because she wants me to know what happened while I wasn't there to see it."

"You still know what happened, though. I always thought death would be a clean-cut from everything in my life, but you still get to hear about her day and watch her grow up."

"You don't experience it. That's the difference." He sat down, ignoring the water creeping up his pant legs and around his body. "I'll never get to hold Ellis. I'll never get to meet my nephew, walk Amelia down the aisle, or teach Bailey how to play baseball. It's like, you're trapped in a glass box, and you have to watch everyone around you experience all the things you want to do. I want to hug people, I want to tell them how much they mean to me, and how if I could go back and take a different route to the highway, I would. I would trade anything for a day with the people I love."

"So, you're telling me to go back?"

"I'd be lying if I didn't say I enjoy this, selfishly, but being able to talk to you, to see you react to what I say? It's what I've wanted for years, but I can't keep you from the life you should be having. But, I also can't tell you what to do. That's your decision to make."

"Helpful, really." Derek looked up at her and smiled.

"I've told you what I feel. That's all I can do." Meredith sat down in place, wrapping her arms around her legs and pulling her knees up to her chest. "If you do go back, though, you need to promise me that you won't take the people around you for granted, that you won't forget they're there, that you'll thank them for everything they've done and been doing for you. And give everyone a hug from me, okay?"

"I promise."

[melohax]

Been a hot minute since I've ever sent an ask so kinda curious, do you have any personal headcanons about Mari that you particularly like/enjoy? Can be basically anything from thinking it really fits the character to it just seeming like it'd be fun (like Sunny being the resident catboy in behaviour)

Tumblr didn’t notify me again that I had an ask, hope I’m my reply isn’t too late!

I do have hcs about Mari that I like, mostly involving her with Aubrey. I really like hcs about the flaws and imperfect sides of her as well.

In the same way Hero and Kel’s parents show favoritism for Hero, I kinda hc that Mari would be the favorite in her family as well. She’s the overachieving perfectionist with a “perfect” boyfriend and great sense of responsibility. I hc that she was probably the apple of her father’s eye and the sibling everyone had high expectations for.

I really like the idea that after Mari and Aubrey would’ve gotten their hair dyed, they’d get some strands in each other’s colors. Like, Aubrey with some purple and white strands amidst her pink hair and Mari with some pink and aqua strands in her purple hair. Would be super cute if they braided those strands or put accessories specifically on them, as well.

Mari and Aubrey getting mini makeovers and dressup sessions together and sometimes roping Basil in with them too.

Mari teaching Aubrey how to be good at softball and being the source of Aubrey’s love of baseball bats.

Although not averse to socializing, I imagine Mari wouldn’t have that many friends outside the main group, mostly just acquaintances. People would admire her “perfection” from a distance but never got too close.

She’d be kinda popular at school mostly thanks to being Hero’s girlfriend but otherwise she didn’t hang out with that many different people. I think her personality being this interesting mix of mischievous and perfectionist would make people like her but also keep them a bit at arms’ length. Mari was probably fine with that, though. She was the type of person that didn’t need a large group of friends to feel fulfilled.

Even with how Mari liked to encourage Hero to go for a career he likes, she didn’t completely practice what she preached there. She looked at that part of her future more as something to be good at than something she would fully enjoy. She’s was also the type to tell Hero to take breaks when studying for school while herself studying for hours on end.

Aubrey’s eggplant beach bag was a gift from Mari.

Music was something Mari was passionate about but also often a source of frustration and stress. Pretty much what most artists feel at some point tbh, lol.

Sunny’s apparent lack of passion for violin probably annoyed her deeply cus under her graceful surface, she was a very intense person that took her hobby very seriously. His mistakes on the violin often made her think it was from not wanting to try hard enough. Sunny sometimes cried from the pain his fingers would be in and although Mari would be sympathetic, she was used to making herself practice to the point of pain. She saw it a bit as a necessary evil to master the piano.

Mari knew she needed to be mindful of Sunny’s feelings but she itched to ask him sometimes why he even wanted to play violin in the first place if he wasn’t going to be fully committed to it.

Her parents placed a lot of their own parental role onto Mari’s shoulders and she took that responsibility very seriously. Being a figure of authority to Sunny and the rest of the kids probably exacerbated a controlling streak she’d developed from her perfectionism.

Even with the group, I imagine Mari was mostly private about the things she struggled with. She liked listening and helping with Hero’s problems but didn’t like bringing up her own much. It wasn’t so much because she didn’t want to burden Hero but more because she didn’t want to appear weak in front of others.

She actively liked the position of wise older sister that had the kids looking up to her. She loved teasing them a bit and teaching them things. Sadly, this sort of role also probably brought out the worst of her control issues sometimes.

She could be the gentlest, most patient teacher imaginable at times. However, she was sometimes as mean as she could be gentle, getting really demanding if things weren’t going her way.

Sorry for any typos, kinda drowsy today.

[ivysimagines]

sparklers and kisses - jj maybank

hey babes. 

so, here's the first scenario/imagine. 

this is my favorite bedtime scenario tbh HAHAH. 

also, i don't like fourth of july.

it's a stupid holiday created for the "founding fathers" (spoiler alert: they didn't find shit). 

i'm simply using it for the setting since new year's would be way too cold in north carolina.

anyways, onto the scenario!!

(TW: teen drinking, talk about an abusive father, talk about drugs, and a happy couple </33)

Pronouns/terms used: fem terms used.

fem clothing. 

FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. 

-

(thoughts will be in italics and bold)

It's Fourth of July. 

For some that means fireworks, grilling, spending time with family, and playing games. 

However, for me and my friends Fourth of July means getting shitfaced drunk, the wildest kegger of the year, and (hopefully) getting laid.

I'm sitting on my bathroom counter with my legs crossed and getting ready.

I hear my phone vibrate on my dresser in my bedroom. 

I get up off of the bathroom counter and walk out. 

I grab my phone, nearly dropping it. 

I click on the text and smile whenever I read it, it's from JJ.

'hey loser, you ready for tn?’

I quickly responded with ‘yessss :)’ and opened Spotify.

I clicked on my favorite playlist titled ‘getting ready and feeling hot asf’.

Thanks Kiara for the name idea. 

My phone automatically connected to my speakers and ‘More than a Woman’ started playing. 

I went back to my bathroom counter and got on top. 

I continued doing my mascara.

*a few minutes have passed*

I hop off of my bathroom counter quickly and walk into my bedroom. 

I take off my black sweats, wife beater, and underwear and throw them into my dirty clothes hamper.

I put on my bright blue bathing suit bottoms and a white bikini top. 

I walk over to my body mirror and check myself out. 

I smile and slightly giggle.

God motherfucking damn I’m hot. 

JJ is lucky as hell. 

I put on some old light-washed jean shorts then one of JJ’s red sleeveless t-shirts.

I put on my beach sandals that show the fresh white nail polish on my toes.

(A.N. i hate the word toes. It’s so gross HAHAH)

Thank god I painted my nails last night.

I walk over to my desk chair and pull my tote bag off the chair. 

I throw some Sun Bum sunscreen (both facial and body ofc), some pink tinted chapstick, my sunglasses, a camera, a white hair clip, my wallet with some cash, and an old empty Altoids container filled with blunts i rolled last night and my orange lighter. 

I prefer getting high ovcr vaping. 

If I’m gonna ruin my lungs why not make it fun?

(A.N. i’m not shaming anyone who gets high/vapes. I do both and that is just something i say often that i think is funny). 

I grab my phone and turn off my music. 

I slide my phone in my back pocket then quickly change out some of my jewelry so it matches my outfit. 

I grab my tote bag and put it on my elbow. 

I spray some of my body spray on me and the tote bag. 

I run my fingers through my hair and give myself one last look in the mirror. 

I smile as my hair settles on my shoulders. 

I grab my car keys off my ring holder and head out of my bedroom.

I run down the stairs and say goodbye to my dad who is sitting on the couch and watching baseball. 

*fast forward 12 minutes*

I park in front of John B’s house. 

I pull my key out of the ignition and get out. 

I lock my car and start walking to the porch.

“JBBBB!” I yell as I walk up. 

JB’s the nickname I gave John B when we were in 4th grade. 

He only lets me call him JB and hates it when the guys do. 

(A.N. pretend pope doesn’t call him JB LMAOOO)

“Kitchen!” he yells. 

I walk through the porch and into his house. 

“You have got to clean this house. It looks like a pig sty in here” 

“I’ll.. get to it”

“I will literally help you for free. That’s how shitty this place looks, JB”

He rolls his eyes and continues putting beers in the red cooler with ice. 

“Can you actually do something useful and put beers in the other cooler” 

I smile at him and nod. I grab a pack of beers from the counter and open it. 

I throw them into the cooler. 

“Easy, easyyyy” 

I inhale deeply and begin placing them softly in the cooler.

“Better, dickhead?” 

“Yes, thank you”

*a few minutes pass and the four coolers are all filled*

“Okay, so. We just need to put these in the van, get the kegs, and take them to the Boneyard. Gavin said he would bring the fireworks and everything like that. I assume weed and shit will magically appear as people arrive”

I laugh a little.

“How about we put the coolers in your van and the kegs in my car?” 

He places his hands on his hips and nods. 

“The speakers, cups, keg pump, and whatever the fuck else we need” 

I nod and look at the time on my phone. 

“It’s 7:30. We’ve got about 50 minutes before the sun starts setting. We should probably head there before it gets dark.” 

He nods and we grab the coolers. 

We walk to his van and put them inside. 

“We also need to pick up Pope and JJ. I only have one seat so I’ll get Pope, you can get JJ?” 

I nod and we continue putting the coolers and kegs in our cars. 

*a few minutes pass*

I lean against my car and John B walks over. 

“Alrighty, ready?”

I nod and check the time. 

7:50. 

Damn time flies. 

“Do you need to lock the house or anything?” 

“Nah, i don’t have anything a robber would want”

We both laugh. 

He opens one of the coolers and pulls out two cans of beer.

“Want one?” 

I shrug and smile. 

“Why not” 

He throws one to me lightly and I catch it. 

I open the beer and take a sip.

The bland taste fills my mouth. 

I hate the taste of beer. 

Always have.

I only drink it if there’s no other option. 

“So, i’ll get Pope, you get JJ, and we’ll meet at the Boneyard to start setting up?” 

I nod and he pulls out his keys. 

“Alrighty, cya” 

I wave with two fingers and turn around. 

(A.N. pls say yk what i mean)

I hop in my car and put my beer in the cup holder. 

I pull out before John B and head to JJ’s house. 

His dad has been oddly calm these past few days.

We both know he’s gonna blow up soon. 

Unfortunately we don’t know when exactly that’s gonna be. 

I drink my beer and drive to JJ’s. 

*5 minutes pass*

I pull up and see JJ working on something outside. 

He hears my car and looks over. 

He notices it’s me and smiles. 

I roll down my window and look at him.

“Hey there, stranger!” i yell. 

He walks over with one of the biggest smiles i’ve seen. 

I smile at him.

He comes up to my car and looks at me. 

“Ready to party?” i ask him.

“Hell yea” he says. 

I smile and he kisses me. 

I bite my lip a little. 

“You all ready to go?” 

He looks around and checks his pockets. 

He nods and walks around my car. 

He opens the door and hops in. 

I turn to him and he kisses me again. 

“Hey there!” someone yells. 

We both turn and look out my window. 

Mr. Maybank is walking up with a beer in his hand.

“Hi, Mr. Maybank” i say in a sweet voice. 

“Where you kids going so late?” 

“Oh, just to hang out at John B’s”

He nods. 

“Alrighty, you look nice Y/N” 

I shudder a little. 

I hate this motherfucker so much.

“Thank you, Mr. Maybank” 

“We better get going. John B will be pissed if we miss the first half of the movie” JJ says in attempt to get us out of this.

“Alrighty, you two have fun..but not too much fun”

Asshole.

Why tf do adults always make sexual comments about teenagers relationships?

I nod and smile. 

He walks away and I pull out of the driveway. 

It’s quiet for the first few minutes. 

The only noise is the radio. 

“I’m sorry..about him” 

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault”

He sighs. 

“It’s been..nice lately. I was gonna say something but I didn’t wanna ruin that”

“Love, it’s okay. I understand”

He takes my hand and rubs the top of my hand with his thumb. 

*a few minutes later*

We finally arrived at the Boneyard. 

JB and Pope were already there and getting set up. 

The drive was awkward. 

Everytime I tried to talk to him about his dad he would just shut it down by asking a stupid question like, “do you have the keg pump?” 

Like, of course I do JJ.

JB and I aren’t fucking stupid. 

(A.N. ehhh John B is kinda stupid tbh)

We get out of my car and start unloading everything. 

*it’s now 9:30 and fireworks are starting to go off*

“Y/N/N, I put pink whitney and some white claws in a cooler that’s in my van for you. It’s unlocked if you want them” John B whispers to me. 

I smile and nod.

That’s actually kind of sweet. 

I walk to the van and grab out a white claw. 

I walk back over to John B and Pope. 

“I wish Kie were here” Pope says.

“For the love of god just ask her out” i say. 

He rolls his eyes at me.

(A.N. Kie is at a Kook party her parents made her go to)

JJ walks up to me with a sparkler that’s lit. 

Oh fucking hell. 

He knows i’m scared of those.

“JJ..” i say. 

He smiles at me as he walks closer. 

I begin backing up and set my white claw on the sand.

“Babe no” 

He laughs a little. 

He speeds up and i begin walking away. 

“JJ, no!” i say with a smile.

I start running on the sand and he follows. 

“Babyy, c’mere!” he yells. 

I laugh and keep running. 

I hear the sparkler die out and slow down. 

I turn around and see him running up to me.

We’ve gotten so far from everyone we can barely hear the music.

A lifeguard house is blocking the view of the party.

He walks up to me and sits down on the sand next to me. 

He grabs my hand and pulls me down.

I fall down slightly and then lie on the ground next to him. 

Our breathing slows down. 

“You’re gonna get over your fear of sparklers eventually” he says.

I laugh a little. 

“No, i won’t”

The fireworks begin going off and we watch them. 

I smile and look over to him. 

I see he’s already looking at me with a big smile.

“What?” 

“Nothing, you’re just..gorgeous”

I roll my eyes and smile.

“Shut up”

He laughs a little.

I flip onto my side and put my hand on his face.

I kiss him as the fireworks go off. 

He puts his hand on my cheek and i continue kissing him. 

I crawl onto him and straddle him. 

We keep kissing as the fireworks go off. 

He pushes my hair behind my ear and i smile into the kiss. 

We continue kissing for the next few minutes and eventually go back to the party. 

We spend the night together at John B’s. 

-

Sorry i ended the chapter at a weird time.

I’m rlly tired n js wanna upload somethingggg.

Lmk what y’all think ig

Once again, request things by messaging me.

Thanks for readinggg!

Also ima change my upload schedule to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. 

BYEEE <33

[electrictoes]

Light the Dark

For @dailysvu‘s Sonny Carisi Appreciation Week

Prompt: Day 6: Nightmare

When Sonny is eight he starts getting a recurring nightmare. It’s an awful, twisted memory of the summer just gone by. 

The dream starts just like his memory. They’re at the beach. Mama left Teresa in charge while she went back to their rented beach house to start cooking dinner; Daddy - Dad, Sonny corrects himself in his memory, he’s not a baby anymore - has gone into town to get their fourth of July fireworks; Sonny had asked to go with him but Dad said he had to look after your sisters, Junior.

Teresa isn’t doing a very good job of being in charge; she’s sunbathing with one eye open so she can check if the lifeguard is watching her. The lifeguard isn’t watching Teresa because he’s watching two older girls sunbathing up the beach, but since Teresa’s about to start high school she doesn’t much listen to anything Sonny has to say. She calls him Dominick like Sonny is a baby name and tells him to go away.

Gina’s made friends with some other kids. She does that everywhere they go; she's playing volleyball and ignoring her brother and sisters. And so it’s just Sonny and Bella.

The problem is Bella can’t swim. She thinks she can but she’s no good at it. Dad says she’s gonna have to learn because they live on an island, but Mama says it doesn’t really count. In Sonny’s real memory when Bella runs into the sea and gets caught in a wave he’s quick - he swims right out after her because the lifeguard is still not watching the ocean, and he swallows so much water he’s still coughing it up hours later, but he manages to grab hold of Bella before she goes under the water - and the bigger kids Gina's been playing with see them, and they swim out to help them back to shore. Teresa yells at Sonny and Bella, and then Mama yells at Teresa, and then Dad yells at everyone.

In his real memory he wakes up in the middle of the night and his chest still feels tight from all the coughing, but when he opens his eyes and looks across the little room he’s sharing with Bella, she’s fast asleep with her bunny rabbit tucked up under her head and he knows she’s okay.

That’s not what happens in the nightmare.

In the nightmare when the wave gets Bella he’s not quick enough. There aren’t any bigger kids nearby and he sees Bella slip under the water before he can reach her. In the nightmare he tries to get to her but everything goes black, and cold, and he can feel hands on his legs dragging him down, down, down into the water.

When he wakes up he screams. Screams loud enough to wake the whole house up and the first time it happens Dad comes running in with a baseball bat like he’s going to beat Sonny’s nightmare with it. Mama’s right behind him, and when Dad drops the bat she pushes past him, sitting on Sonny’s bed and brushing his sweat soaked hair back from his forehead. She kisses him and asks him what happened while Dad sends the girls back to bed.

He doesn’t stop getting the nightmare for almost a full year - a year of his parents whispering things like therapy when they think he’s not listening, of Mama soothing his tears and kissing his hair, of Dad telling him it’s time to grow up a little, and Gina saying he’s too old to be this dumb. Dad only lets him get in their bed the first couple of times - after that he says Sonny’s got to learn to manage. Sometimes when he wakes up from the nightmare he sneaks across the hall to remind himself that Bella’s okay, and if she spies him she’ll creep past Gina’s bed to give him a hug. She tells him he’s the best big brother in the world and he swells with pride every time, even though Bella only has one big brother so she wouldn’t know any different.

He gets the nightmare occasionally for the next couple of years, but as the memory of that day at the beach fades, so do the dreams; by the time he’s in middle school he’s stopped getting nightmares altogether. At least until Bobby Bianchi decides to use his head as a wrecking ball.

The cuts and bruises heal much faster than the rest of him. He has nightmares about Bobby Bianchi for far longer than he ever had nightmares about that day at the beach. Sometimes the two nightmares combine and the hands that are dragging Sonny down to the ocean floor belong to Bobby; the cruel way he’d laughed as Sonny fell to the ground echoing in his ears.

His father had been so disappointed in the aftermath of the window incident that Sonny doesn’t dare tell him about the nightmares. He doesn’t tell his mom either, because she was already so worried about him, had struggled to hold back tears as she helped clean his blood away. He doesn’t tell anyone - not even Bella - because the first time he’s ripped from sleep by the nightmare he can hear his parents talking quietly downstairs - he tiptoes down carefully, just wanting the comfort of seeing his mom even though he’s too old to ask for a hug, for her to tuck him back into bed.

He stops three steps from the bottom of the stairs when he hears his name, and he listens with his fists clenched, his bottom lip between his teeth. “He’s too sensitive,” Dad is saying, “That’s why these kids pick on him.”

“Dominick, that’s not fair,” Mom says back in a hushed whisper, “We raised him to be a good kid, a sweet, kind child. That doesn’t mean that-” he hears his mother choke on her words, can tell that she’s crying, and he takes a guilty step back up the stairs, shuffling away but staying in earshot as his father comforts her.

“He’s gonna be just fine,” his dad says, “But we’ve gotta toughen him up a bit. It’s my fault, three sisters, I should’ve seen this coming. I’ll speak with him.”

Sonny slips back into his own bed and holds his anxieties in, keeps his nightmares to himself.

Two days later his dad sits him down - man to man - and talks to him about toughening up a little, growing a thicker skin. He asks again who pushed Sonny through the window and Sonny knows he’s disappointed when he doesn’t get an answer. He swallows down his fear, his discomfort, and tells his father he’ll handle it. It’s years before they’re back on the same page again.

When the nightmares come he holds back screams, buries his tears in his pillow as he cries himself to sleep. His mother frets - thinks he’s not sleeping enough, staying up too late - he’s not eating properly, she says, shuffling him into the kitchen, making him stand by her side as she prepares spaghetti sauce and meatballs and a dozen other recipes he commits to memory watching her hands move, waiting for her to shove a plate in front of him to reassure herself she’s doing something to help.

After a time, much like before, the nightmares trickle away. Never entirely, though. It’s long after middle school that he stops dreaming about Bobby Bianchi - though the nightmares don’t bite at his adult self in the same way, he’s still thrown awake well into his college years, that laughter ringing in his ears.

Becoming a police officer, then a detective, he sees things. Sometimes he sees the worst of humanity and it can leave him fraught, on edge. He’s worked hard at setting his emotions aside at the end of the day, but there are some sights you can’t unsee, and some images that won’t leave his head. When he closes his eyes at night there are cases that haunt him, that have him waking up in a cold sweat and struggling to catch his breath.

Early on he gets a domestic disturbance call that he’ll remember for the rest of his life - Ellen Carter’s face lingers in his mind, the way he had tried to persuade her to get out of that house, leave her husband. The way she looked, blooded and beaten, her skull smashed in and her body slumped over by the wall. He wakes up every night for a week with the image of her eyes in his head and he has to shake himself, roll over and try and get back to sleep. His sergeant tells him he looks like hell, that whatever’s going on in his personal life he can’t bring it to work with him. It’s like he’s desensitised, and Sonny will take the dark nights over that any day.

He makes detective and he works homicide. It’s worse. There’s not just one Ellen Carter, there’s dozens. It gets harder and harder and though he doesn’t have any one recurring nightmare, he never goes long between episodes of waking up and remembering their faces.

So he moves to SVU - he wants to make a difference before it’s too late. But SVU brings its own dark cases, it’s own haunting images. It’s at SVU that he starts to pick up real nightmares again, not just flickering images. The cases and the heartbreak, they still get him, but it’s his own experiences that follow him into his dreams.

He takes Mike Dodds’ death hard and it’s the first time in years that he’s had the kind of nightmares that dig deep into his consciousness. He replays his imagined memory of the scene in his head - the way Mike got shot, how he faded from life; and some nights it isn’t Mike - some nights Sonny’s the one who got shot and he’s lying bleeding on the ground and plunged into darkness, unseen hands grasping at him. Those nightmares are hard - but the kind that leave him biting back a scream are the nightmares where Mike is replaced with someone else - with Fin, or Olivia, or Amanda, and those dreams having him clawing at his bedsheets, grabbing at his phone on the nightstand, his thumb inches away from calling to check in - to reassure himself that they’re okay.

He only make a call once, and only because he has a text from Amanda sent thirty minutes before - Jesse’s cutting a new tooth and it’s keeping both her and Amanda awake. He’s breathless when he greets her, enough that she catches it even over the phone.

“Carisi? Where are you?”

“In bed,” he says, sitting upright, a hand in his damp hair, heart still hammering in his chest.

Amanda’s suspicious, and he’d laugh if he wasn’t already so off-kilter, “Why are you calling me from your bed?”

“I- I can’t sleep,” he admits.

“Are you okay?”

There’s something about the way her tone shifts - something about Amanda Rollins in general - that makes it easy for him to tell her. Maybe in person he would hold back a little more, but she can’t see his face and he’s still shaking, “I- not really. I’ve been havin’-”

“Nightmares?” she finishes, her voice soft down the line. It’s the first time since he was nine years old that he’s let someone else into this part of his life. “You wanna talk about it?”

“Nah,” he says, and he means it - just knowing he’s told her is soothing in itself, “I just- wanted to know you an’ Jesse were okay.”

She hums down the phone, offers to distract him, and he falls asleep sometime later to the sound of Amanda settling Jesse. He sleeps through the rest of the night. The dreams don’t go away altogether, but they fade with time.

When Tom Cole puts a gun to Sonny’s head it ends with him dead on the floor, Sonny spattered with his blood, and he keeps it together. In the dark of his bedroom hours later he awakes choking with fear. He had thought his number was up, and that feeling doesn’t go away, not for months.

There are other incidents, too - when Tom Williams falls to his death before Sonny can pull him back over the railings, when Jules Hunter is killed in a deliberate car crash - case after case, victim after victim. Things that happen to his friends and colleagues too - when Barba gets death threats, when Noah is kidnapped, when Liv is held hostage, and when Bucci takes Amanda. He puts so much energy into moving on, focusing on other things, that it’s only natural the thoughts he doesn’t process creep into his dreams.

He handles it though - the dreams never become what they were when he was a child, never take over his sleep every night. He doesn’t need to be comforted, has learned to shrug them off and go back to sleep. He almost always only gets those kind of dreams when he is alone, and on the rare occasions there is another body beside him in his bed when he sits bolt upright, shaking with terror, he always downplays it - a bad dream, something that happened on a case once. Nothing to worry about.

It’s almost cruel that his old dream comes back to haunt him just as his waking life becomes everything he’s wanted it to be for so long. The first time he startles awake in Amanda’s bed he hopes it’s a fluke - just one of those days something in his subconscious has triggered this old memory. When Amanda blinks up at him, he tells her he’s fine - says he woke up with heartburn though he knows she doesn’t believe him. He doesn’t want to tell her what happened in his dream - the way it wasn’t Bella being swept under the waves, but Jesse. The way it wasn’t him being dragged down but Amanda.

After the third night in a row of the old nightmare twisting - this time it’s Billie being caught in the waves, Sonny unable to catch her in time - the third night of Amanda catching him awake, a new excuse on his tongue each time - a distraction in the form of his mouth on hers, his hands sliding beneath the blankets; losing himself in her at the same time he steers her away from what had woken him - Sonny decides to sleep alone, to go back to his own apartment and hope this string of nightmares run their course.

It doesn’t help. Two nights without Amanda and he’s had even less sleep than the three previous.

She frowns at him over his office desk as she hands him a coffee, and she takes the seat opposite without him offering. “Alright, Counsellor, what’s going on?”

“What? Nothing.”

“Are you gonna come home with me tonight?” she asks, leading him into the conversation.

He shrugs, “I don’t know, I- I got a lot to catch up on.”

“I’d say you were avoiding me,” she says, leaning forward on his desk, “But I don’t think that’s it.”

He shakes his head, “Never.”

“So if it’s not me, then what? The girls?”

“No,” he insists, surprised she’d even suggest it, “I thought you might want some space.”

“And instead of asking me you go home alone and what - lie awake all night? Because you look like you haven’t slept in a minute,” she reaches across the table, curling her fingers around his, “Carisi, what is it?”

“I’ve just been- I didn’t wanna keep wakin’ you up.”

“You know,” she says, her thumb rubbing back and forth across his hand, “I get nightmares too.”

He sighs, hesitating before telling her the whole story, starting with his original nightmare and talking her through his recent dreams - the conversation takes far longer than either of their lunch breaks should have, but once he starts talking he can’t seem to stop, after holding all of this in for as long as he has.

The nightmares don’t just stop. Being in love with Amanda Rollins makes almost all of Sonny’s life a little brighter, brings a little more light into his days and his nights, but love isn’t a cure all and childhood night terrors don’t go away just because your days are filled with happiness - with sleepy morning kisses, children giggling over breakfast, and sneaking coffee breaks together - with Amanda’s head against his chest on the couch, the way Jesse has started to copy the things he says while they cook, and the times Billie falls asleep on his knee before he’s even halfway through her bedtime story - the nights still grow dark.

The difference now - the difference from every nightmare he’s had since he was nine years old - is that when he wakes gasping into the night, unwanted images assaulting his dreams and corrupting his memories, there’s a soft voice in his ear, and arms curled around him; there are reassurances and promises and hands holding his.

His nightmares slip away after a few weeks - not gone forever, but they become less frequent, less draining. Amanda gets nightmares too - he soothes her through them just as tenderly as she does for him. They’ve both seen things. They both have memories they wish they didn’t. But they have each other.

[wouldpollyapprove]

Still Love You

Request: can you do an john x reader based on the song Austin by Blake Shelton

Requested by @magnificentzombiebasement

John Shelby x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: violence, language

A/N: I highly recommend listening to the song before or during reading. After this I only have 11 one-shot requests. YES!!! Requests for gif imagines, headcanons, and preferences are still open.

Masterlist

Y/n rolled her eyes, violently tapping her foot against the hardwood floor. It was in need of dusting, collecting dirt from the four children that ran liked animals through the house. She lifted her gaze from the floor to the man that stood across from her.

“I can’t do that to Tommy,” John shook his head, hands wrapped around the chair in front of him, keeping him balanced. “Not to the family, Y/n.”

“It’s not safe, though. Not for you or me or your fucking kids!” Y/n hissed in a vain attempt to win him over. “If you won’t do it for me please do it for them.

The plea did nothing but soften his eyes, not his heart. 

His hands released the chair and he began to pace. John couldn’t understand why Y/n would ever want him to leave his family. They meant everything to him. Come hell or high water, he would always stand by their side. Nothing shaking his answer, he gave the short answer, no.

Tears pooled in her eyes, she shifted her weight and folded her arms over her chest. “Fine, be a fucking idiot, let your brother get you killed! But I won’t let that man be the death of me!” 

Y/n swiftly retreated from the kitchen and out of the house. There was no turning back now. The idea of leaving Birmingham, finding a nice home in the country, had been ever-present in her mind. Y/n never told John or anyone for that matter, but Birmingham had become a nightmare to her after she was held at gunpoint for so much as knowing the Shelbys. The man ran off when a group of kids accidentally kicked a ball into the alley. Since that incident, more then ever she wanted to escape the life that Tommy had set up for those around him. 

She couldn’t force the decision on John, but she thought it sounded lovely. Away from danger, they could marry and raise his children in open fields of grass, maybe along a riverbank. That was a dream that made her smile. Obviously it didn’t make him do the same. 

Knowing she could no longer live with the life the Shelbys’ had given her, she went to find greener grass.

*~~~*

John had spent weeks searching the city for his girlfriend. He’d called and received no answer. Every time the phone rang and rang and rang. He went to her house, no one answered the door. When he broke in it was apparent that she’d packed her bags and left. All that she’d left was furniture covered in dust. 

“Fuck,” the man muttered, mentally kicking himself for letting her leave that day. He waltzed into the kitchen, feeling sorry for himself. Everything there was left untouched, just like he remembered.

But there was something new. A note neatly laid on the table.

He picked it up, reading it over. 

“I’m sorry to leave like this, you don’t deserve it, but I don’t deserve this life you want. At least not right now. I just need some time to think. I love you, John, I do, but I must see more than the filth of Birmingham for a while. You were supposed to do it with me but your family always comes first. For that, I love you. But they are not my family and therefore I have no reason to stay.”

A sigh escaped his chapped lips. If he’d listened, if he’d been a little more open, she wouldn’t have left. John didn’t blame her for running, he’d thought about it more than once. His family made his life hell but he wouldn’t know what to do without them.

He was happy she’d left, though. 

Y/n had probably found her way back home, to Plymouth. She talked about it all the time. The fresh saltwater that sprayed the city’s banks and the fishing boats that lined the harbor. There wasn’t a thing about her home that she never mentioned. It wouldn’t surprise the man if she was there now, having a picnic with her family along the beach. 

If he hadn’t been an idiot maybe he could have been sitting next to her, his children playing in the water.

*~~*~~*

Taking a deep breath, Y/n picked up the phone. 

Life had been a dream for her, the year after she left Birmingham. First, she went home to see her family. A week in Plymouth helped wash off the grim that the Peaky Blinders had left on her. From there she spent some time in London, visiting her brother and going for walks at the zoo. She then took a train up to Glasgow, where she decided to write a book. It had always been a dream of her’s but she’d never had time until then. It was a fun activity, something she did while watching cows in the Highlands or sailing to an island off the coast of Wales.

Y/n had the time of her life in the year, but it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Her heart hurt from the man she’d left behind. She thought that a month, a few months, hell a fucking year, would allow her to forget about the man she used to love. But her love for the man never faded and was always at the forefront of her mind. 

She placed the phone against her ear, the operator asked her for the number she wanted to call. Did she really want to do this? It became clear that she did when with no hesitation, she told the woman the number.

The phone rang, causing her nerves to make her eyebrow twitch. To calm herself, Y/n played with the phone cord. She instantly dropped it when a voice floated through the phone.

“Yeah.” It was Finn, John’s youngest brother.

Y/n smiled, he had always been one of his favorite siblings. “Um, -” she bit her lip. “It’s Y/n…”

The boy was clearly excited to hear from her again, telling her all about everything that happened since she caught a train home. Finn rambled about Tommy’s horses, the reopening of the Garrison, and even the car that John had bought. “You won’t believe what we’ve got now, Y/n. You’d love it,” he confessed before telling her what she wanted to know. “John’s not here, though. I’d tell him you called, but he gets angry anytime someone mentions your name. Says he never wants to talk to you again.” Her face fell, feeling defeated. “But he saws the opposite when he’s drunk, says he loves you.”

A shaky breath parted her lips. It was a mistake to call.

“Well, it was good to talk to you Finn. I miss you, I really do. Can you do me a favor?” she asked, hoping he still liked her enough to do so. 

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Can you not mention to anyone that I called?”

The young man agreed and once they said their goodbyes, Y/n hung up the phone. Sliding to the floor, her knees came up to her chest. John still loved her. God, what a bitch she was for leaving. The grief she had put him through by walking out that door. How could she have done that to a man that had already lost so much? Tears fell from her eye, dampening the material of her skirt that rested on her knees. 

She stayed like that for hours, dehydrating herself with each tear. What kind of love made a man love a woman no matter the distance? That question rattled her brain for the next three days before it forced her to call again.

Finn wasn’t the one to pick up the phone this time, Polly was.

Her breath hitched in her throat, now she felt like she was in trouble. If Polly were standing in front of her at that moment, in her kitchen in Hunstanton, she would be scolding her. Telling Y/n that she should have let her help. But instead, she ran like a coward. 

“Hello?” the woman asked.

Y/n closed her eyes, “Hi Polly,” she greeted.

Polly hummed, a smile evident on her face. “Y/n,” she breathed. “What a lovely surprise! How have you been?”

Her voice was full of nothing but cheer, making Y/n smile. “I’ve been good, how about you?”

“About as good as can be expected when it comes to dealing with Shelby men,” she huffed, clearly irritated with one or more of her nephews. “I assume you’re looking for John, don’t know why you’d call otherwise.”

A laugh was her response before she confirmed Polly’s suspicions. 

The woman sighed. “He’d not here, I’m afraid. John’s been busy lately. He took the kids to a baseball game on Friday. They needed to get out of the house, it hasn’t been as calm without you,” she confessed. “He left for London this morning with Tommy and Arthur, I’m watching his heathens until he returns tomorrow.”

Y/n nodded, not sure if she had the strength to call a third time and not have him answer. “I’m glad he’s been staying busy.”

“Why don’t you leave your number and I will make sure he calls you back?”

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea. I don’t want him to be forced to talk to me.”

Polly laughed and told the girl what a fool she was. “Darling, that boy is head over heels in love with you. He loves you, he’s never stopped loving you. So, leave me your number because he needs you, Y/n. Don’t let him fool himself for thinking otherwise.”

Reluctantly, Y/n gave her her house number. Polly assured her that John would be calling her the next day.

The next day, Y/n could barely force herself out of bed. The air was chilly, her robe wrapped tightly around her as she made her way to the kitchen. She put on a pot of tea and sat at the kitchen table, a bowl of porridge and a scone sat uneaten in front of her for hours. Y/n tried to sip at her tea, but did nothing but let it get cold. Instead, she leaned against the back of her chair, staring out the window. 

A knock at the door forced her into reality. 

She pushed herself out of the chair with a sigh and shuffled to the door. At least the phone hadn’t rung. She was sure that if it had, she would have jumped out of her skin. She wasn’t ready to talk to John, but would she ever be? The door was pulled open, her face going pale at who stood behind it.

“John,” she breathed.”

His eyes lite up, lips turning up in a shy smile. “Polly told me you called.”

There was nothing she could say, not as she embraced him, burying her face in his chest. Oh, how she had missed his scent, the feel of his body against her’s. Before she knew it, sobs racked her body, tears wetting the man’s suit. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I shouldn’t have left b-but I thought- I thought…”

John rubbed her back, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay now. I’m here and you’re here.”

Y/n pushed herself off him, using the back of her hand to wipe away her tears. “It’s not! I left you and you never stopped loving me.” More tears poured from her eyes. “It was stupid, so stupid! I love you and I should have stayed.” She could barely keep herself upright, John wrapped his arms around her to keep her from collapsing to the floor.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay now. We’ll figure it out. Things won’t be normal, but they won’t be hell.”

*~~*~~*

Let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.

@tarafaithe @amirahiddleston @haphazardhufflepuff @woahitslucyylu @mzcrazy2 @lovemissyhoneybee @multi-fandom-iimagines

[cherrybombusa]

GROUP ONE  - CCU THEATER. SUCCESS.

PLAYERS:

THE GOLDEN BOY - Harvey Hargrove. THE HEARTBREAK KID - Casey Russell. THE  BABY - Casey Russell. THE FALLEN ANGEL - Alice Alder. THE WANNABE - Virginia Ann Virginia.. THE CLASSIC - Libby Logan.

PERKS EARNED:

SELFLESS BITCH: A drunken Virginia Virginia sacrificed herself for her friends! Aw. Maybe she does have a heart underneath all those boobs. Due to her efforts, Virginia has earned the right to remove herself! If the gang ever gets caught in a sticky situation, any lasting effects will not apply to Virginia. This can save her from broken bones, getting in trouble, or even death - but beware! This perk can only be used once. 

MEMORABLE MOMENTS:

-LIBBY WAS TAKEN BY THE KILLERS.  -VIRGINIA SACRIFICED HERSELF TO THE KILLERS. -CASEY INJURED A KILLER.  -RORY WAS HIT OVER THE HEAD.

THE NARRATOR: It might not have been a quiet night, maybe not even uneventful, but the Gang found themselves grateful, at least, that the Candy Girl hadn’t shown her face. It was nearing midnight now, and with only Paulie Virginia checking on the kids before they fell asleep on the sand, and Lucas Bright left straggling on the beach with the Gang, they were sure to turn-in soon. 

They were gathered around the bonfire, talking and laughing - almost even letting their guards down - but the screech of three white vans pulling up to the shore interrupted every little conversation taking place around the bonfire. They didn’t want to think anything of it at first… College kids in this town were wild, and they were all piling back into town this week, after all. But when a group of masked, hooded figures with baseball bats, and kitchen knives galore began making their way out of the vehicles, and onto the beach - what were they supposed to do but worry?

OFFICER PAULIE VIRGINIA:  “Hey! Stop right there!”

THE NARRATOR: It was almost instinctual for the rookie to go right into barking cop voice, even with no back up  - stupid, of course - but another ‘Candy Girl’ stunt was the last thing he was going to let happen on his watch. The man reaches for the taser in his belt, just like he was trained to do, but just as he gets it free, the blur of a body rushing forward - Lucas Bright - distracts him for a split enough second to fumble. 

Paulie almost yells for Lucas to stop, but before he can get the words off of his tongue, the Bright kid nearly runs headfirst into one of the masked figures' fists. It’s shocking how hard he falls - makes Paulie wonder if he’s okay - but before he can wonder too much, he realizes too late that one of the hooded figures has gotten the jump on him. He’s half expecting the figure to reach for his taser - the oh shit moment of the century - but when Paulie feels a baseball bat connect with his ribcage… He almost wishes he had been tased. Might have hurt less.

CANDY GIRL: “Hello, my little freaks and geeks! Did you miss me and my little friends? Because I think tonight is about to get a little more fun.”

THE NARRATOR: ...Uh oh. Maybe I spoke too soon about the Candy Girl not showing her face. 

It doesn’t take long to get the gang tied up - not with the threat of knives, and Paulie’s discarded taser at the hooded groups disposal - and the ringleader of this little group, the one bouncing around telling everyone what to do, seems absolutely giddy with her capture. What else are you supposed to expect from faceless psychos, though, right?

CANDY GIRL: ““Here’s the game tonight, losers! We’re gonna split you up and see if you can pass our little trials. Those who do? They get to go home tonight! Those who don’t…. Well, you might end up closer to Lux than you thought you were before.”

THE NARRATOR: Candy turns toward one of the other masked figures - one that seems like her Helper - flicking her chin toward the Gang. It’s a cue, and that much becomes clear when one-by-one, each of them has a hood slipped over their face, obstructing their view nearly completely.

CANDY GIRL: “But first, we’re going on a little trip!”

THE NARRATOR: It’s hard for the Gang to know just how they’ve been split up, but as they’re pushed forward toward the parking lot - the sound of Paulie’s and Lucas’s far-off groaning in their ears - they know one thing. They’re completely fucked, and there’s nothing they can do about it with their hands tied behind their backs… Especially not when they’re about to be shoved into the back of those fucking vans.

Nobody’s really sure how long they’ve been driving - they’re all too terrified to try and keep count - but by the time the van finally slows to a stop, they’re all dragged right back out onto solid ground, and into… some old building. Just where, is the question.

MAKE A CHOICE: YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN TAKEN BY THE CANDY GIRL TO CCU FOR A NIGHT OF FUN. DON’T DIE!

THE NARRATOR: Maybe it’s the way they had to file between cramped rows, bumping into seats that left bruises blooming over their thighs; maybe it’s the echo of their footsteps, bouncing off of the walls like music. Either way, those who had ever stepped foot into the CCU theater - nearly all of them, considering every field trip they had been to to watch some semi-professional production of Bye Bye Birdie - know right where they are at that moment.

 It’s a comforting place for some - one that induces only stress, or indifference to others - but it’s hard to imagine that it won’t be a place that brings anxiety after tonight; just as tainted as the boardwalk, or even walking along Lux’s and Harvey’s block might be. Now is no time to think about how they might feel in the future, though -- if they even make it that far. No, they’re going to have to make it through tonight first.

They’re led onto the stage like prized pigs, ready to be blue-ribboned - but once they’re situated, the hoods that cover the gang’s faces come off; they even cut the ropes off from around their wrists. It might be stupid, but the knives, and baseball bats manage to keep everyone in their place; hearts racing in anticipation of what might come next.

The theater is mostly dark, save for a couple of spotlights that shine down onto the stage, highlighting the Gang like the stars of Candy’s show. There are props scattered about - sets, hanging sheets, costumes! It almost looks more like a storage closet than the grandiose CCU theater, but as they try to get their bearings, the two figures heading the circle - Candy and her supposed assistant - jolt them back into reality with a clap of their hands.

CANDY GIRL: “Like I said, we’re gonna play a little game tonight, boys and girls! But, you’re all oh-so-familiar with games, aren’t you? Especially after our special little stunt at the boardwalk.”

THE NARRATOR: Her voice could almost be considered familiar, but nobody in the room really knows where to place the memory of it. Did she actually sound like that recording on the beach? Was she someone they knew? The gang just looks at each other from any angle that they can; making eye contact at whatever cost, as if it might help them all jog their memory to know they’re on the same page. They don’t get another chance to listen, though, as the other figure - leader two - begins speaking.

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER:  “She’s written some riddles!”

THE NARRATOR: They pull a sheet of paper from their pocket.

CANDY GIRL: “And you’re going to solve them! Don’t worry about the doors -”

THE NARRATOR: The movement is clearly rehearsed as a number of their captors - five, if you’re counting - head toward the row of carved, flourishing doors at the back of the theater.  Three of them leave, but the other two begin looping chains through the antique handles, locking them into the auditorium with absolutely no escape.

VIRGINIA ANN: The last however many minutes Virginia had been captured were maybe the worst moments of her life. They were just supposed to have a fun bonfire but of course a fun bonfire turned into watching her brother get hit with a baseball bat, be captured by a bunch of weirdos, and end up at the theatre as another "fun" game. She wanted to get up and leave, but someone would stop her, wouldn't they? "Why the hell are you doing this?" Was what Virginia first asked. She doubt she'd get any sort of answer and hey, maybe they'd sew her mouth shut for even speaking. "We didn't do anything."

ALICE ALDER: On any other given day, if she were to be having a conversation — or even just be stuck in the same room with Virginia! — hilarity would be bound to ensue (in one of the worst ways, but nonetheless…). But this? What was this? Her almost bestie… betraying her again! “Dude, what the fuck?” A futile question that would get no answer — but asked on instinct! “The 'beach bash' wasn’t enough?”

RORY COLLINS: It was happening again. She had gone white as a sheet when she saw the masked figures on the beach, and hadn't managed to regain any color yet. "Guys, I really don't think they're going to answer," she swallowed hard and tracked the psychos' every movement. Rory hesitated. "They didn't last time."

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER: “--God, can you people shut up for two minutes? We’re kind of, like - in the middle of something!”

THE NARRATOR: Candy’s little Helper interrupts the conversations with an annoyed tone, as if they’re the ones inconveniencing her night. It’s strange, how nonchalant it is, but Candy just huffs in annoyance as she looks at her ‘assistant.’ Shoulders dropping a little as she breaks character to reprimand her.

CANDY GIRL: “Jesus christ, can you just say your fucking lines? It’s not that hard,”

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER: “They’re -”

CANDY GIRL: “Seriously?”

THE NARRATOR: The masked figure hesitates.

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER:  “Fine! You need three keys, and three, exactly!

CANDY GIRL: “Or you’ll spend the night -”

THE NARRATOR: Maybe it’s the fear of the moment that kept all of their eyes focused on the two masked figures interacting with them - tunnel vision, of sorts - but it only makes the loud squish of blade entering flesh even louder than it should have been. The group of them flinching before Candy even has a chance to start shrieking through the pain of the knife in her side.

It was almost unbelievable that it had happened at first - did it even make sense that the Candy Girl’s henchmen were turning on her?  - but the blood splashing against the stage floor had to have been proof enough that it wasn’t just some fucked up group hallucination. This was an attack - one that hadn’t seemed expected by either the Candy Girl or her little helper.

CANDY'S LITTLE HELPER:  “What the fuck is wrong with you!”

THE NARRATOR: Fair question. And the attacker should have heard it, as loud as the second-not-so-in-charge-figure shrieked - but the knife-wielder didn’t even flinch as he dragged Candy toward back off of the stage and toward one of the many staircases that led to the balconies; blood pouring from the wound in her side all the while.

The other mask - Candy’s little helper - almost considers running for it, throws the note from her hands in anticipation of getting the fuck out of there…  but she hardly gets a chance when her own attacker - the other one of the maniacs who had chained the door - comes from behind her and squeezes their hulking arms around her fame. They have their own knife; one that plunges directly into her chest, but the Gang doesn’t have much time to watch as they drag her off in the same direction.

What.

The.

Fuck.

There’s only a moment of hesitation - it had all happened so quickly - but the gang wastes no more time before fleeing to opposite sides of the theater. The sound of both of the women’s dying screams echo across through the space, shaking all of them to their core… but they all know one thing: they need to get their hands on that riddle.

If they’re locked in, then it might be their only way of getting out.

MAKE A CHOICE: ALICE, VIRGINIA, AND LIBBY ARE HIDDEN IN THE WINGS OF THE THEATER. HARVEY, RORY, AND CASEY ARE DUCKING BEHIND A ROW OF SEATS.

CASEY RUSSELL: All bad things seem to come in threes. And if it wasn't solely going to be a black eye that would be the highlight of his evening, it was going to be this. He calls it survivor's instinct in the scramble when he ambles over behind the seats, even though he's pretty sure he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. For a moment his gaze lands solely on Harvey. It's been ages since they've played on the same team. But... somewhere between life and death, they surely had to put some degree of their differences aside right? "Do we have any ideas?" He whispers, "I don't really fancy ending up being like whoever the fuck that was."

HARVEY HARGROVE: Once upon a time, in the distant remains of the far-off evening that had been only a few hours before, Harvey had assumed this wasn't going to happen. But here they were and here was... Whatever the hell this is. Joy of joys. It wasn't easy pulling his focus from Libby and Rory, where his eyes seemed to stray automatically in an attempt to find reassurance that wasn't coming. He did though, and turned to Casey. "We can't go at once. There's too many of us, we'd be noticed far too quickly."

 MAKE A CHOICE: HARVEY IS RIGHT. SOMEBODY IN THE WINGS MUST RETRIEVE THE RIDDLE. IT IS THEIR ONLY HOPE OF GETTING OUT: WHO WILL IT BE?

LIBBY LOGAN: Libby can't hear either of her friends cramped into the rows of theater seats, but as her heart races in her chest - as the alcohol pulses through her veins - somehow, she knows it's up to her to retrieve the riddle on center stage. That had been the way out of the whole Carousel Cove situation, right? She doesn't even say anything to Virginia or Alice as she darts forwards, fingertips outstretched. Libby just hopes she can get back without alerting the killers upstairs.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS!

THE NARRATOR: Every step sounds too-loud, even masked by the sound of screams, but somehow they manage to make their way back onto the stage where the riddle was thrown by Candy’s little Helper. They get their hands on the blood soaked paper; the breath leaves their lungs as the sound of screaming begins to die - no pun intended - out. It’s not completely obvious what they should do next, but they make eye contact with their friends hidden in the wings; those hidden in the seats. 

They’re never going to make it out of this without each other, so they better think fast. 

They hear the sound of the killers beginning to stir from the steps near the balconies, and just like that a plan forms in their freaky little hive mind. Someone needs to distract the killers while everyone else gets upstairs. But who will it be?

MAKE A CHOICE: SOMEBODY MUST DISTRACT THE KILLERS WHILE THEIR FRIENDS GET UPSTAIRS. SHOULD THEY THROW SOMETHING ACROSS THE ROOM [PROBLEM SOLVING],  SNEAK ACROSS THE ROOM AND KNOCK SOMETHING OVER, [BRAVERY] OR SHOULD SOMEONE TRY MESSING WITH THE LIGHTBOARD? [PERCEPTION]

HARVEY HARGROVE: He turned his head, locking eyes with Libby at center stage. A slow nod of the head was the only sign he gave before he stood up and began to move as quietly as he could towards the other side of the theatre. There was always shit offstage in these places, right? Surely there would be something over there that could get the focus off of Libby (if it didn't, he'd rain hellfire down, that he promised himself). Each step brought him closer and closer to the vague shape of a light and when he was beside it, he turned back, grinned at his friends as best he could, picked up the light, and threw it.

MAKE A CHOICE: FAILURE!

THE NARRATOR: It was a long shot, but as soon as the stage light crashes against the floor, only one of the killers turns their head to investigate. The other? Well, their gaze lands directly on little Libby Lou. 

It’s hardly a split second before they cross the theater toward her, and as hard as Libby tries to fight, it’s no use - the threat of the knife, and the feeling of it’s handle knocking against the side of their face is enough to give the killer the upper hand… At least they have time to throw the riddle in the general direction of their friends before they’re dragged away toward the balconies staircase.

It’s enough of a distraction to get everyone else safe, if even for a moment.  They have to get the hell out of there, and save Libby... if there’s even time. They all book it as fast as they can, and somehow they manage to make it into the dressing rooms beneath the stage - one of them even manages to grab the riddle, silently hoping it wasn’t Libby's last gift to them all. 

At least it might actually save them. 

Their hearts are pounding loud enough in their chests that they might swear they could all count each other’s heartbeats. Now is no time to check up on each other, though - not as they lay the first riddle out in front of them.

If you want the key, you’ll have to find Me,

I’m a keeper of the law, you see.

I might be a pawn - I saw Pepper get diced, 

Are you feeling naughty? Then here’s some advice: 

I’ll name a story, no I’ll name three -

All from the Bard,

So be careful with thee.

A tragedy I’m not, 

In love? I could be. 

Pick only one…

Pray it’s the right movie.

MAKE A CHOICE: ALICE HAS BEEN GRABBED. DO YOU TRY TO SAVE THEM? 

CASEY WAS SUCCESSFUL IN SAVING ALICE. HE INJURES THE KILLER, AND THE GANG RUNS TO HIDE IN THE AISLES.

MAKE A CHOICE: RORY IS RETRIEVING THE FIRST KEY. 

RORY COLLINS:  "I'll go," Rory balls her trembling hands into fists at her side. They have to save Libby, so she's going to do whatever it takes. She creeps towards the band pit as quietly as she can, and lowers herself in to look for the key.

THE NARRATOR: Rory runs with all of her might, the gang all sneaking close behind to watch her back, but with the correct location, it’s not hard to find the key taped against the wall of the orchestra pit, along with the next part of the riddle. With the sheet of paper, they make it back to their friends, and lay out the clue to get to the next key.

 If you want to get out, don’t Twist and Shout, 

It’s not the Candy Man locking you out. 

If you feel Clueless, then here’s your clue -

You can find Me behind door number two. 

How to know you’re close? Just think of the times, 

The 90’s are ending, but oh, how it thrives!

Once you’re through, don’t look any further - 

Your key can be found in the one with no murder.

CASEY RUSSELL: "Okay... I think I've got this." Was that more for the group's sake or his own? It's with a deep breath after they work it out that he readies himself for the run to the prop closet before taking off. He may be drunk beyond belief, but he's determined to reach their key as he runs.

THE NARRATOR: Casey and the gang sprint hard toward the prop closet, somehow managing to duck past the killers to get a good look in the massive room. It takes a minute or two, but soon Casey has the key and another little sheet of paper. 

 It should be easy to get back to his friends now that are waiting in the wings, but before he can even turn around, he feels hands grasping around his limbs and yanking him back toward the staircase. He has to fight, but he can't do it alone.

MAKE A CHOICE: DOES SOMEBODY WANT TO SAVE THEIR FRIEND, OR LET THEM DROP THE KEY? 

RORY COLLINS: She doesn't even think when she sees the masked figure grabbing Casey. She just moves. Rory sprints forwards and hits the attacker as hard as she can.

MAKE A CHOICE: SUCCESS! 

THE NARRATOR: It’s a great effort, and though Rory doesn't manage to do much real damage - and gets hit over the head hard enough to draw blood - she's still successful in getting her  friend the hell away from that monster. The whole group is terrified, but they’re quick on their feet as they move somewhere else that could be deemed even semi safe within the madness to solve the next riddle.

Here’s your third key - you’re almost there! 

Unless you can’t take a bit of a scare. 

Your key can be found with the killers that hunt you

Hand someone over, and we’ll hand over ours too. 

There’s no getting out of it, there’s no bargaining here, 

You must sacrifice someone, someone so dear. 

Will they die, will they live? Only we know. 

But if you don’t choose, then all of you go.

MAKE A CHOICE: SOMEONE MUST SACRIFICE THEMSELVES  AND ALERT THE KILLERS TO GET THEM TO DROP THE THIRD KEY. CHOOSE WHO.

VIRGINIA ANN: If you had told that Virginia that five hours ago she'd be running onto the stage to present herself to a bunch of murderous assholes, she'd probably laugh in your face. Maybe if she lived this would be a funny story to tell her kids one day. Not even bothering to deal with telling the group of her decision due to the five vodka mixed drinks in her body, she ran up the stage and yelled, "Hey bitches, I'm here!"

THE NARRATOR: It’s hard not to feel the weight of the gang’s fear like a punch in the gut, radiating through the room. They can hear Virginia's drunken voice call out - the sound of her scream, and her struggle as they’re dragged her up the stairs, just like the others had been. 

When the sound of chains dropping from the door handles echoes through the room, though - followed by the scurry of sprinting out of the theater - they almost think to breathe a sigh of relief. Could that really be it? Could it be over? 

They don’t move for nearly an hour - or maybe it just feels like an hour - but when they finally decide the coast is clear, the group of them  - or what’s left of them - sprint out of the theater, and the hell out of CCU as quickly as they can. Maybe it’s a betrayal to not even look for their friends… or maybe their bodies. But how are they supposed to stomach the thought of it? How are they expected to stick around with those… killers still on the loose? 

Are their friends still alive? Who knows. They just know they need to get the police down here to help their friends as soon as they can, even if it means getting the hell out of there.

MAKE A CHOICE: YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED YOUR PLOT EVENT.

[booksonablog]

Zachary Levi Imagine - Being Best friends - Turned Lovers Would Include

Being best friends - turned lovers with Zachary Levi would include:

- The two of you being early childhood best friends

- Since elementary school, you always called him “Z”

- As kids, you guys mainly only had each other as far as friends go, the two of you did everything together, from creating forts to making up imaginary worlds in the backyard

- He would occasionally come over to make a fort with you and watch cartoons in your living room while your mom made you guys cookies

- Sometimes you would go over to his house where his dad taught the two of you how to play baseball

- The two of you actually joined a little league team and he was your biggest fan, always jumping and hollering every time you made a good hit

- Both parents adoring how close you little rugrats were

- One time, when you guys were little, the two of you were bike riding when he fell off his bike after running over a rock, causing two neighborhood kids to point and laugh at him while he remained on the ground, so you grabbed the rock and chucked it at their heads. Which you later got in trouble for, but while you were sent to your room, he would be outside your window creating a skit to make you laugh

- As teenagers, you guys were chill yet adventurous, always exploring if you weren’t watching movies

- Some nights you’d be hanging out in one of your guys’ rooms and watch movies all night till you had to go home

- other days,  he would insist that you’d follow him to a new place he discovered, which would sometimes be an arcade, a record shop, a comic store, a cool place in the woods or a lake

- Sometimes you guys would go into this hidden lake he found, and swing off a rope where you could dive into the lake, but eventually stopped going because soon other people found the lake and it lost its hidden coolness

- The two of you went to different schools, sometimes he would get out early, so you would see him waiting for you, biking or walking around, sometimes a basketball in hand or a bag of candy

- You guys would spend most of the day together and he would always walk you home

- The two of you were goofy together and always very affectionate

- He would give you piggyback rides, sometimes for fun and sometimes when you just didn’t want to walk anymore, you were always hugging him or playfully hitting him, he, on the other hand, was very playful and annoying, poking you and running away after telling him to quit so many times, mushing food on your face and running off, throwing pillows at you to start a war or holding your nose so you had no choice but to talk in a funny voice - sometimes you'd come home just to find him on your bed, laying there, or in your kitchen eating your food, "your mom let me in." Sometimes you'd walk in and find a note beside a nerf gun loaded with foam bullets and the two of you would break into war - on hot days you guys would have your own water balloon fight - neither of you had a pool, so to beat the heat, you guys would try and sneak into a private community pool - rarely you guys would go to the beach, there were too many students you guys didn't care for so if you went you guys would stay under the pier, barely going in the water if at all and then get ice cream and walk around the local shops - on rare occasions, the two of you would sneak onto his roof and sit there, watching the stars and the environment below, talking about life, joking around and occasionally enjoying the comfortable silence as you rest your head on his shoulder - as the two of you got older you started to date other people, each of you coincidentally not being too fond of the others' partner, needless to say, boyfriends and girlfriends came and went - you can recall a time when he dated this two-faced psychotic girl who would be nice and sweet while he was there but once he left, she was incredibly nasty to you  - for example, the time when the three of you went to a diner, this is the first time meeting her and she seemed okay, nice, but as soon as he went to go to the bathroom she whipped her head at you and told you bluntly to stay out of their relationship. You were confused, you didn't even nudge your head towards their relationship, but before you could defend yourself he came back.   - another time, she had already shown her true colors to you but you bit your tongue, not wanting to butt into their relationship, the three of you were leaving the theater when he left to get her jacket she "forgot," she threatened you that night to leave him alone, that the two of you couldn't be friends anymore, she didn't like that you guys had inside jokes, that when something funny happened he would look at you first, that you guys would laugh at the same stupid things in a movie, or even say the same thing simultaneously. This time, you told her politely that the two of you had been best friends for a very long time and it would remain that way and that you were again, no threat. She, however, protested and said that he agrees with her, to which you laughed and said he would never say that and that she wouldn't dare ask him, being the clever person you are. She yells in your face, "watch me," as she marches towards him, he was just walking out with her jacket in his hand, watching her yell at you. After she repeats her words he grew upset, but remained calm when telling her that you were his best friend that posed no threat and you wouldn't be going anywhere. In a fit, she threw her soda at you, you were cold, embarrassed and angry, but before you had a shot at her he took her jacket, dabbed off all the soda and handed it back to her before the two of you walked away laughing. - once he got his first car, the two of you drove everywhere, from a chill late-night car ride with the windows down and melancholy tunes playing loud to exciting mini adventures - the first time he scratched his car he told you   - "we've got a problem." "Lemme guess, you caused it." "no! I mean...barely, doesn't matter! Dad's gonna kill me if he sees this so you gotta help!" - it was soon after he started driving, that he realized he had deeper feelings for you   - one of the first realizations was when you had called him crying, when he answered the phone he could hear your sniffles followed by a "can you please come and get me?" He had sped all the way to you, where you waited inside a diner, soaking wet and alone. He gave you his hoodie to change into. He offered to buy you something hot but you insisted on him taking you home. On the drive home he listened to what had happened, your then-boyfriend was supposed to take you out for a nice date and everything went okay till he decided you weren't good enough for him. You cried, understandably so, he was ignorant and you were strong and more than good enough but it was just disappointing to you. In the driveway, one of the things Zachary told you was, "you deserve someone who values you." The two of you had stood staring at each other, till a light came on from your front porch and you had to thank him before hurriedly going inside - as you guys started to become young adults, he could recall your first long term boyfriend and him getting into a huge argument when he had gotten upset about you going out, especially with him.  - the two of them were arguing in the kitchen while you were gone, "Z" was arguing at the fact that you had your own life and could hang out with whomever you wanted, that he shouldn't be demanding and jealous and couldn't steal her away from everyone else. What's funny is he actually liked the guy but was starting to notice some red flags. The guy retorted, saying how that you guys were boyfriend and girlfriend and he wanted time alone with you, to which Zach said: "We need to spend time together too!" To which the guy ended it with, "She's not yours!" This had shut Zach up, an odd realization that the narcissist was right. He knew the guy was wrong about a lot, but he was right about that, you weren't his. He began to wonder if he was jealous, but he never mentioned it to you. The guy soon became your ex after realizing a few red flags yourself - boyfriends and girlfriends, though they came and went, had created quite the stir between you and "Z." Some painful things said from different occasions include:   - "All he ever did was use you, why can't you see that?!" - Zach   - "It was a mistake coming here!" - Zach   - "you said you'd always be there for me...so how did this happen...why weren't you there? - you   - "you were ready to abandon me for her!" - you   - "fuck you!" Both of you, on different occasions - As you grew into adulthood, the two of you guys had spent significantly less time with each other as that was life - However, you managed to talk every day, phone call, text, a rare facetime, and even scheduled days to see each other - one time, you guys had finally met up and had brunch together, catching up on adult things and he had said with a smile, "I miss this." It left a familiar butterfly flutter in your tummy, it reminded you of the secret crush you had also developed for him a long time ago - the two of you made an effort to start seeing each other more, eventually seeing each other every other day at the least - one day you went straight to his house from a terrible day at work. As soon as he opened the door you immediately started crying, he brought you to his chest, "shh, it's okay, come inside." He made you tea as he listened to you ramble on about your terrible day, afterward, he drew you a bath. When you got out he told you that you could spend the night at his place since it was already late, and so you did. You fell asleep in his arms that night. - soon, the two of you were on and off again as you each started dating other people, never dating at the same time and being equally unhappy deep down. You can recall many accounts where you would sob at night, you were in love with him, but it seemed it wasn't meant to be, little did you know he would have similar nights - as you eventually made your peace, or attempted to do so, he decided he'd put his foot down and lay his cards out   - one rainy night alone, you got up to make yourself tea before bed when you heard a knock on your door, making you jump. You checked the peephole, shocked to see your best friend. You opened the door, "Z-" "I'm in love with you." He panted, interrupting you and putting you in a state of shock. " I've been in love with you since we were kids and I didn't realize this till high school, I know I should have told you sooner, and I'm sorry if this is terrible timing but I have to tell you Y/N because I'm afraid I might die if I don't. I can't live without you, without thinking about you, hearing from you and seeing you - you're everything to me and I am so deeply in love with you." He left you stunned, watching as he panted, leaning in your doorway, hair dripping with rain. "Please, say something." You shook your head out of shock, his heart sinking to his stomach. You could barely form words, and somehow "I'm in love with you too" just wouldn't cut it, so you grabbed his face, pulled him down and towards you and kissed him with all the passion you had hidden away for years. He leaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around you tightly, only breaking the kiss for air and a grin before happily confessing how long he'd been waiting to do that ♡

Writer’s Note: I had so much fun writing this! I hope you guys enjoyed it just as much ♡

Tags: @booklover2929​ 

[miraimisu]

33 with lonashipping? <3

[part 1] | [part 2] | [part 3] | [part 4] | [part 5]

—

Hau is sure something is going on with Gladion and Moon.

He can't quite say what it is, but there's an itch under his nose. He knows it's probably nothing, but they're together more often than ever, and while these two weeks of vacation had been spent mostly in togetherness, Hau has spent most of these two days with Lillie alone while Gladion and Moon 'trained' for 'something very important'.

Gladion is known for being lackluster with words, but Moon is just suspiciously dismissive. Something is off.

"What the hell do I know? Those two have always been close. Is this why you called me? I'm painting my nails right now."

Plumeria sounds irritated on the phone, but Hau doesn't let that deter him. Lillie fiddles with her sundress, seated right beside him on her bed. "You spend lots of time with Moon at the Battle Tree, right? I bet she's told you somethin'."

"I don't know a darn thing, kid. I bet she's got better things to do than fuss over some boy." Plumeria snickers. "Do you really think something's going on with those two?"

Hau trades looks with Lillie, who sighs. "They have been awfully busy with each other, and I'm certain Moon had a hickey on her neck yesterday."

"Yeeeeah, after the disco night. That was a weird night."

"Why? What happened?"

Hau wags his eyebrows, teasing. "Aw, so you are interested!"

"If Moon's gonna start losing battles because she's smitten, I might as well know why." Something slams shut at the other end of the line. "Fine. Tell me the details."

Hau puts her on loudspeaker. "Can you hear me?"

"Clear as day."

Lillie bites her lip. "So… they usually spend lots of time together, but it's unusual for them to go out on their own without us. I don't think they're avoiding spending time with us, right?"

Hau rubs her shoulder reassuringly. "Told ya' it wasn't that."

"Make it quick, you two. No lovey-dovey stuff allowed."

Hau gulps, laughing nervously. "Right. So we think they might have a thing going on. Lillie's right about the hickey– she had a pretty bad bruise, and when I asked, she just said she made out with some guy at the disco, but that's bullshit. She's not into that kind of stuff."

"So you think it's Gladion who's givin' her the hickeys?"

"Kinda weird to think about– no, kinda gross to think about, those two makin' out, but it's what makes the most sense."Hau grins. "Something's going on with them, and we gotta figure out what it is. They're not gonna tell us, so we should find out on our own."

Lillie fiddles with her thumbs. "But… why are we so sure they have feelings for each other, to begin with? I always thought they were just, um, very good friends."

"I mean, I'm surprised you didn't know, but the kid's always liked Moon. Like, even before she became the Champion."

Lillie gasps scandalously as Hau erupts into laughter. "I knew it!"

The blonde pulls the phone from Hau, shaking. "Really? How do you know such a thing!?"

"It was kinda obvious when you saw them together, and it's not like Gladion's that hard to read, considering he's a rock. The moment he gets soft and feelsy, it's very obvious." Plumeria laughs, half knowing, half happy. "It's weird that you didn't notice, Lillie. It's not like Moon makes herself hard to read either."

"I– I always had a hunch, but she always said he was just a friend, nothing else," Lillie says. "And Gladion… I can't say I didn't notice, but I also thought he was simply fond of her."

"Guess hickeys are his way of giving hugs now." Hau can hear the smirk in her voice. "All that aside, I doubt they'd be that dumb to get touchy with each other in a vacation. Or go on dates, having you two around. They're not that inconsiderate."

"What's up with them, then?" Hau asks, taking the phone back from Lillie. "I don't wanna be nosy, but they're hiding something from us. It's getting annoying."

Lillie hums in thought. "They might be genuinely busy with battles, even if we went on vacation so Moon would take her mind off that. Clair and Lance didn't help last week, and Gladion likes battling her a bit too much."

"You can always ask them right away, y'know– that way you wouldn't have to call me while I do my nails."

Hau ignores her in favor of an idea. "We can always, um, follow them around a bit? And keep an eye on' em. If they see us, we can say we're walkin' around."

At the other end of the line, Plumeria sighs. "That's an awful idea, kid."

But Lillie disagrees, "It might not be. I'm also curious, and come to think of it, we have done very little sight-seeing this week. We can make up for that."

Hau and Lillie exchange pleased sly grins, giggling to themselves. Plumeria groans. "Now that you two are scheming, can I hang up? My battery's running low."

"Sure, but…" Lillie fishes the phone from Hau's hand. "One last thing… can I see your nails, please? I want to buy some nail polish and I need ideas."

"Sure."

—

Hau and Lillie decide to bide their time and wait patiently.

He's tasked with looking out for Gladion, whereas Lillie does the same for Moon. They're not exactly meddling, but they're trying to wiggle their way into the situation as subtly as possible.

As much as they're trying, it doesn't seem like they're doing much. They talk and act as they always have– sans the few moments Hau notices Glaidon's touch lingers more on Moon than usual, that he looks at her very often and always does so with a little smile.

Plumeria already confirmed he's probably head over heels for her, but Hau is only noticing it now, so he does what he does best: tease him about it.

As they walk to their bedrooms after a day out at the beach, having left the girls at the bar, Hau grins. "So… what's up with you and Moon?"

Gladion jolts. Barely. But he does. "What do you mean?"

"You two are looking very cute lately. Like, really cute." He doesn't miss how Gladion's key nearly falls off his shaky fist, and his cheeks grow rosy. "Woah. I knew you had a thing for her, but not that badly."

The blond grunts and spins towards Hau, frowning as menacingly as Hau knows he can muster. "Absolutely nothing is going on between us. Nothing. I'm just helping her build a new team before she goes back to the League."

Hau arches an eyebrow. Moon has never asked anyone for help with training her Pokémon. Sounds like bullshit. "Uh-huh. Why, though?"

"Um, she's been out of it for more than a week and she's feeling a little antsy about it. She doesn't want to get rusty."

"Dude, Moon's been out of the League for weeks before. Remember Unova? She's never wanted any help with-"

Gladion squares his jaw and jams his key into the lock, opening it with force. "That– That's none of my business. Ask her if you're so curious, damn it!"

And the door swings shut again.

So that was something.

—

The following day, Moon explains that she'd be out with Glaidon training in a new Kanto-style gym that's opened in Heahea City. Hau and Lillie take that as their cue to follow them, so clad in pamelas and sunglasses they went, trailing after the pair.

They don't immediately head to the gym, and that rings alarms in Hau's head. As they spy on the two from a corner to the street, he gasps. "He wants to hold her hand. He's moving it a lot."

Lillie sighs. "The port is crowded. I'm losing sight of them. Where are they going, really?"

Hau grins. "Only one way to find out!"

With wide grins, they tiptoe across the street and further into the crowd. Hau can still see Gladion's baseball cap and Moon's oversized pamela, walking into an ice cream parlor that Hau loves with all his heart.

A few minutes later, they happily walk out of the parlor. Moon is laughing at something Gladion just said, and he looks as bothered as ever. Nothing is out of the ordinary here, making Hau question why they'd go out on their own if they're not on a date or battling.

They sit down on a bench near the sandline. Gladion looks upset. Genuinely so.

"Do you think they had an argument and are trying to make up?"

Hau turns to Lillie. "Did they look angry at each other this morning? Because they didn't to me."

The duo watch Moon and Gladion for a few minutes. Nothing happens, and after a while, Hau gets bored and distracted. They should have tagged along– it would surely be more fun than watching them have fun.

Lillie gasps. She points forward and leans closer to Hau. "Look, they're very close! Are they going to kiss?"

"No way," Hau squints as Moon scoots closer, and he can see a smirk, he thinks, but-

Someone crashes with Hau and makes him fall to the ground face first. The man runs past him and Lillie, shouting an apology. Lillie hurries to help Hau off the ground with a concerned frown. "Goodness, are you okay?"

Hau groans, rubbing his arm. "Just a scratch. People are always in a hurry here."

Lillie offers him a hand and helps him get up. Her touch lingers a second more than necessary, rubbing his knuckles with her thumb before letting go.

He rolls his shoulder and turns back to the bench, only to find it's absolutely empty.

He gets up from his hiding spot, gaping in indignation. "Dude, they're gone! Where did those two run off to?"

Lillie gasps and rushes past Hau to the bench, looking all around the port. They're nowhere to be seen– not at the juice bar, the shops at the other side of the road or anywhere nearby. She sighs, playing with the hems of her shirt. "Do you think they saw us and ran off somewhere?"

Hau shakes his head. "I doubt they saw us, but where did they even go? I can't see them anywhere."

The blonde turns to Hau, shaking her head. "Let's forget about this. I think we lost them, and it's been enough stalking for today."

Hau is still irritated, though. Where had those two ran off to? They looked like they were about to kiss. Had that been just his imagination?

He turns to Lillie, who is just as confused as he is, and grabs her wrist, leading her across the road. "C'mon, let's get ice cream. My treat."

—

The next day, the four of them have breakfast. They plan their day, which they'll spend together for once. Moon offers heading to Lush Jungle to watch the Pikipek and maybe play with the Comfey, an idea that Lillie finds cute– so much so they start gushing about it.

Only Hau notices how fondly Gladion is watching Moon, sitting very close to her. He clears his throat.

"Oh, forgot to tell you two!" Hau grins, one corner higher than the other. "We saw you the other day."

Moon chokes with her lemonade and Gladion tenses up. Lillie's eyes widen, just as troubled, and the Kahuna is sure he's hit a juicy spot. Gladion grabs Moon's lemonade and takes a generous chug while Moon laughs. "Oh, you did?"

"We were takin' a walk around the port zone and we saw you there. Did you like that gym you went to? You gotta take us there sometime!"

Hau expects Moon to panic, because she sucks at lying and he doesn't expect them to have gone to the gym. Moon and Gladion trade looks, and she smiles sweetly. "It was lots of fun. A few trainers there nearly beat me, and Gladion-"

He slaps a hand on her mouth with a shaky smirk. "No need to tell them about how I did to brag about your victories, Champion."

Moon removes his hand and they start bickering like they always do, and the only thing Hau finds suspicious in the situation is that everything is as normal as can be. They're arguing about the smallest of things at the loudest of voices, and he's sure a battle will ensue within the next 5 minutes.

Lillie scoots closer, whispering, "I suppose it was nothing, then? Could we have assumed wrong?"

Hau hums. He hasn't seen much suspicious activity he can prove, and the image of them almost kissing at that bench could have been a mirage. Maybe they're just on very friendly and affectionate terms now, and that hickey on Moon's neck that day might have come from some other dude.

He doesn't want to think Moon is hooking up with other dudes when Gladion is head over heels for her, though– but it's her life.

Hau takes a sip of his Tapu Cocoa. "We might have, yeah."

—

The following day is the day they go back to their usual busy lives. Moon is due at the League, Hau has Kahuna duties to look after, Gladion as a company to run and Lillie has a thousand things to do at the Aether Conservation area.

They must catch their ferry back to Melemele at ten o'clock, they've agreed to meet at the lobby in five minutes and Gladion and Moon are nowhere to be seen.

Lillie looks at her watch with a grimace. "They're usually the first ones to be here. What could be holding them up?"

Hau sighs. "Moon texted me saying her shower wasn't working properly so she's using Glaidon's while he packs his stuff."

The blonde smiles nervously. "They're taking a little too long, though. Silvally must be chewing on Glaidon's clothes again."

Hau groans. "Man, I woke up early to be here on time and I bet they're gonna be late. Let's go check on them. I got Gladion's key with me."

They leave their suitcases at the lobby and head to Gladion's bedroom. They speculate on the ways they'll have to peel Silvally off Gladion's suitcase, how Moon might have her own clothes destroyed by the beast and how irritated Gladion will be about going shopping with Moon in compensation for the damage.

Hau slides the key and the door clicks open.

And their hearts leap out their throats as Moon and Gladion gasp, stopping their activities to look at the intruders with blatant shame.

Moon is lying under Gladion, hair wet and shirt ridden up her stomach. Gladion's hands are in her hair and waist, and Moon is bunching the front of Gladion's half-undone button up dress shirt.

Lillie gasps.

Moon laughs nervously as Gladion groans in defeat and buries his face in Moon's neck. "Um, I can explain. We were, um…"

Words fail her. Gladion mumbles a curse against Moon's shoulder and Hau's mind finally catches up with what's going on.

"Dude, what in the world did we miss here?"

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me - Chapter 4

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​

While it is a more peaceful existence, it is often a lonelier one. The safety and security of seclusion at times feeling like isolation. Their property…their home itself…is beautiful beyond anything she could have imagined; surrounded by the sights and sounds of nature, the dense and lush woodlands and the pristine beach and majesty of the ocean. Aside from the noise and activity of their own residence, they are very much shut off from the rest of the world; two hundred yards from their closest neighbour, tucked at the very end of a three kilometer stretch of recently paved road. Weeks can pass by before she even sees another human being, let alone speaks to them.  There’d been scares and complications during the last three months of her final pregnancy and she’d had to relegate herself to living the life of a ‘shut in’ for the sake of both her health and that of her unborn daughter; never leaving the property aside from specialist appointments. Addie had been an incredibly determined little girl; wanting to make her debut long before it was safe for her to do so. It had been nothing short of a miracle when the doctors had managed to tide things over until week thirty-four, and everyone that had been providing care had thought she’d been in the NICU for the long haul. Only for her to prove them all wrong; being released after only a week and a half.

 A fighter. All five pounds, ten ounces of her.

 Normally Esme would spend the first part of her morning -after the older kids had been shipped off to school-  on the beach; Addie in the carrier strapped to her body, Declan toddling along beside them, allowing him to stop every so often to splash and stomp in the water or play in the sand. Today they walk the road instead, Mac’s leash secured around her waist, one hand pushing the baby in her stroller, the other tightly gripping Declan by the wrist. He is quick and has no fear and won’t think twice about bolting into the woods or onto someone else’s property.

 The pavement is hot but comfortable against their bare feet. It was one of the things that she had found so unusual at about Australia at first; no one ever seemed to wear shoes unless going into businesses, and even then, occasionally footwear would be noticeably absent. It is one of the charming ‘quirks’, going hand in hand with their laid-back natures and accents and hilarious slang words. An entirely different way of life; a refreshing and welcoming change of pace. Everyone seeming much more relaxed and calmer.  Friendly. Always willing to help one another out, whether friends or strangers. And while Colorado had been lovely in its own right, it often felt too ‘fast.’ That life was constantly hectic, barely given you a chance to catch your breath, never mind admire your surroundings. Everything about Australia is incredible to her; the scenery, the people, the way you just take time to enjoy everyone and everything around you.

 But it is still lonely at times. Outside of her own family, she doesn’t really have a life; no relatives that can visit, no friends to talk to or hang out with. It has been that way for years; long before she’d ever met Tyler. Once her first marriage had disintegrated, she’d begun the long and arduous journey of ‘rediscovery;’ more than content with the job she had, jumping from place to place, and living out of suitcases, never forming bonds, or putting down roots. She’s older now though; almost thirty-six. And lately she’s found herself craving more.  She had thought that she was perfect content with just being a wife and a mother, but her heart has begun to yearn for something extra.  Mom friends that she can talk to whether it be face to face or through a text, other women she could have lunch dates and engage in ‘girl talk’ with. Needing to be more than that someone’s spouse. Someone’s mother. Needing…wanting… to exist outside of the comforts of those two realms.

 And she feels guilty for that. As if she’s taking every thing she already has for granted. That she is makes her selfish for wanting more and she should just be happy with the way her life already is. She has a lot more than a lot of women in the world:  a supportive, loving, and helpful husband, five beautiful and amazing kids. Shouldn’t that be enough?

 ****

 It is a beautiful morning. Brilliant sunshine, the sky a vivid shade of blue and cluttered with enormous, pure white clouds. The temperature is always cooler where they are; a few to several degrees lower thanks to the abundance of trees and the winds that roll in off the ocean. And she is comfortable in a pair of tattered and weather jean shorts and a hoodie over her t-shirt, one of her husband’s ball caps pulled low over her eyes. It’s become a habit that she wishes she could break herself of; a hat used more for disguise than a cute accessory or protection from the sun. That paranoia still lingers; that there could always be someone out there watching, hell bent on revenge and looking for the perfect opportunity to enforce it.

 The walk is slow going; Declan routinely stopping to investigate things, whether it be rocks and sticks he finds particularly interesting, or wildlife that lingers at the tree line that he wants to watch. He is infinitely curious about the world around him, noticing everything and anything, big or small. He hasn’t met and animal or person he hasn’t liked, and vice vera. Out of the five, he’s the ‘charming’ one; able to melt hearts with those striking blue eyes and mischievous smile. Extremely affectionate and loving to everyone he meets, even old ladies in the grocery store who always seem to be enamoured by the thick red hair and the outrageously long eyelashes. While Esme may be biased -as all mothers are- he is just damn cute. A sweet little personality to go along with an even sweeter face. And she can’t resist pausing to take pictures of him with her phone; so adorable in his backwards baseball hat, loose tendrils of hair sticking out at the ears.

 She sends one of the photos -of Declan holding a baby garter snake and flashing that trademark smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes (his father’s smile)- to her husband’s cell, along with a text that reads: see what cute babies you make?

 The house closest to them has been up for sale for three months; a one-story white stucco place with elaborate Japanese inspired front gardens and an interlocking brick driveway. The property itself is much smaller that what they own, but no less stunning. She notices that not only has the ‘for sale’ sign been taken down, but there’s a bright blue Suzuki hatch back in the driveway; tailgate up, surrounded by boxes being unloaded by the home’s new owner. A tall, statuesque blond with vibrant pink, purple, and aquamarine highlights in her shoulder length tresses. And she watches -albeit briefly- as the woman continues to remove items from the back of the car. The couple that had lived there before had been in their eighties and absolutely hated kids and would complain about Millie and the twins ‘running wild and unsupervised’ in the road despite the fact that their father would have been  less than ten feet away. Never directing the complaints to Tyler himself, but waiting until they’d see him leave and then knock on the door to confront her. So it’s nice to see someone younger. That hopefully won’t be such a miserable asshole.

 The front door of the house has been left open and a pug comes waddling out; immediately noticing them at the end of the driveway, which starts off a round of barking from both the smaller dog and Mac and absolute excitement from Declan who begins repeatedly shrieking ‘oggie!’ and tries to yank his wrist out of her grasp. He’s incredibly strong for a little guy; heavy, solid, and powerful. And Mac -still barking yet thankfully not bolting- parks himself right in front of the toddler to block his path.

 The woman in the driveway smiles and waves to them in greeting, and that’s when Esme makes the ultimate mistake; letting go of her son’s hand to wave back. He seizes the opportunity; taking off up the driveway the second he feels his mother’s grasp release.

 “Oh my god Declan! Get back here!” she bellows, and unleashes Mac from around her waist, allowing the dog to chase after him. At the most he’ll grab the toddler by the back of the shirt or knock him to the ground. He’s done it before with each one of the kids; showing an incredible instinct -and with no training- to protect the little humans. “Declan William!” she hollers as she hurries after him and the dog. The latter now making friends with the initially startled pug; the new homeowner scooping Declan up and settling him on her hip.

 “Well hey there cutie,” the blond gushes, gently taking hold of his hands as he tries to tear the unique and colourful glasses off her face. “Who are you?”

 “This is Declan,” Esme responds. “And he’s not usually this much of a shit head, I swear.”

 “You’re just a curious little man, aren’t you! You just wanted to come and meet Stan-Lee. Here, let me introduce you…” their new neighbour drops down to one knee and places Declan on her thigh, taking his hand in hers and then running it over the pug’s fur. The toddler giggling with the dog licks at his hand. “See that? He likes you already! He loves to meet new friends. Especially little ones.”

 “I am so sorry,” Esme can feel the blush in her cheeks. “I’m usually not that stupid. Letting him get away like that. Especially on the road. Although no one but us ever comes down this far. We used to get people that would speed down here and park on our property to get into the woods. But we own all that, so my husband went out and scared the crap out of them with a hunting rifle and they never came back. You must think I’m a shitty parent.”

 The blond waves off the mere suggestion. “Not at all. They get away sometimes. No matter how hard we try to stop them. Not to mention he’s crazy strong! Two? Two and a half?”

 “Seventeen months. I know. He’s absurdly tall. But so is his dad. I am sorry he ran over like that. Bothering you and your dog and…”

 “It’s no bother. Honest. I’m Salena,” she offers a hand, and Esme accepts it warmly.

 “I’m Esme. And that’s Mac,” she nods at the German Shepherd as he playfights with the pug. “It’s actually Macaroni. Don’t ask. My son named him. And this is Adeline,” she gestures to the stroller. “Be we call her Addie.”

 “Is this your little sister?” Salena speaks to Declan as she places him on the ground and takes him by the hand, leading him to the stroller. “How about you show me your little sister. I bet she’s a cutie, just like you. May I?” she asks Esme, taking hold of the corner of the blanket that covers the buggy.

 “Of course.”

 She peels the blanket back, then places a hand over her chest. “Oh my gracious! Look at you, pretty girl! Aren’t you just a darling! You’re just new.”

 “Very new,” Esme confirms. “Only two weeks.”

 “And you already look like that?”  Salena looks over the top rim of her glasses as she eyes Esme from head to toe.

 “Please! The clothes hide everything, trust me. I’m huge. And I feel gross.”

 “You’re crazy! You look amazing. Are these your only two?”

 “No. There’s three more,” she says, and the neighbour’s eyes widen. “Five-year-old twin boys and a soon to be six-year-old daughter. I know,’ she laughs. “I’m crazy.”

 “I just can’t believe that body’s had five kids. Five’s the limit?”

 “Four was the original limit but by husband wanted one more. I don’t know who is more insane. Me or him.”

 “Well if these two are as beautiful as they are, I can only imagine what the other three look like. The red hair comes from your husband?”

 “His mother. Declan’s the only one with it. The other three are blond. Or light brown. Whatever you want to call it. And the last one is all me. Which I feel I deserved after having four that look and act exactly like their father. All that work and getting fat and I don’t get one that looks like me? That is some bullshit.”

 “Would you like to come in?” Salena inquires, nodding towards the house. “I have a breakfast casserole in the oven, and it is way too much for just one person, even with leftovers.”

 “We shouldn’t. We were just on a walk before lunch and we don’t want to impose or…”

 “You won’t be imposing at all. We can sit out back and chat some more. You’re the first person I’ve met since moving to Cookstown. I was staying a hotel right in town while waiting for the house to close. It would be nice to have a friend that’s close by.”

 It’s tempting, and as much as she loves the idea of having a friend…especially a neighbour…she knows Tyler will be hesitant. He’s severely overprotective. Beginning after Dhaka and becoming increasingly worse over the years, hitting its peak after the McMann incident. In his mind, everyone is a possible threat. Including the neighbour with the funky glasses and the colorful hair.

 “Just stay for a little while,” the other woman urges. “Just for something to eat and a little chat. I don’t bite. I promise.”

 “It’s not that and it’s not you, believe me,” Esme attempts to explain. “This is going to sound really weird, but things went really bad before we moved here and I’m a little…apprehensive…when it comes to new people. It’s not personal. I swear. It’s all my own issues.”

 “I promise I am not a serial killer. Just come in and have some lunch and let me spend some more with this cutie pie,” she tickles Declan’s stomach until he’s giggling hysterically and beaming up at her with the utmost adoration. “Just an hour,” she says. “If I bore you or I annoy before then, you can leave. I won’t hold you hostage.”

 “Okay,” Esme finally agrees, as Salena scoops Declan up once more and leads the way towards the house.

 ****

He receives the text message just as he pulls his truck up in front of his father’s new place; a small, cottage style bungalow in a newly established retirement and nursing care community in Port Douglas. It had been bittersweet when he’d eventually found out that the old man had sold the family home. The years there hadn’t all been horrible; there’d been a handful of good memories made between those four walls. That house was the last physical tie that Tyler had had to his mother, and the new owners had bulldozed it with plans on custom build for the lot. The demolition had finally erased all the dark secrets that the place had once held. All the cruel words, all the tears, all the holes in the walls, all the beatings.

 Killing the engine, his pulls his cell from the side pocket of his cargos and checks the message. A slow smile spreading across his face when he sees the picture of his youngest son, and the words that his wife had sent afterwards. If there is one thing they excel at, it’s making beautiful children. And the activities that help with the actual creation of them. He texts her back, telling her that they’ve just reached his dad’s place and have two stops afterwards close to home. That he loves her and the kids and will see them soon.

 He begins to ask where she is but decides against it. It will only irritate her if she feels as if he’s keeping tabs on her and attempting to control her. She claims he’s overprotective to the point of suffocation, something that the therapist had said they’d touch on in the next session. Why he is the way he is and what he can do to either control it or stop it altogether. Tyler doesn’t necessarily want to be that way; he doesn’t want her to feel as if he’s locking her away in the house and controlling every move she makes. But he’s already come so close to losing her. Twice. And he doesn’t want to take the chance of there being a third time.

 So he doesn’t ask. Even though it gnaws at his stomach that she’s out there. Off the property. With two of his kids in tow. Instead he pockets his cell, pulls the keys from the ignition, and then finishes the coffee that sits in one of the cup holders between the front seats.

 “How are we going to explain me?” Ovi inquires. “Am I just going to be some guy that you hired or…?”

 “He already knows all about you.”

 “How much does he know? Or what does he know?”

 “Your folks were friends of mine and Esme’s, they died, left us you in their will. Nice and simple. It doesn’t need to be complicated.”

 The lying never stops. Not when it comes to the old life. To the old Tyler. But at this stage in the game -with his father not functioning properly in the first place- he doesn’t see the need to burden the old man with the truth. Chances are he’d be extremely pissed and/or disgusted and wouldn’t even remember what he’d been told the next day.

 “And you think he believes it?” Ovi asks.

 “Mate, I don’t even know if he knows who I am anymore. Chances are he doesn’t even remember I have a wife and kids. Or that I even told him about you already. But if he asks, that’s what we tell him. Got it?”

 Ovi nods.

 Tyler opens the compartment between their seats and fishes out the extra bottle of anti anxiety meds. It’s always smart to have them on hand; never knowing what situations or environments will bring on an attack. But he can already feel the heaviness in his chest and the dryness in his mouth, and he takes three of the pills and places them under his tongue, waiting for them to full dissolve before putting the bottle in his pocket.

 It’s a hell of a way to live. Having to dope yourself up just to be able to get out of the goddamn car.

 And he’s plain fucking sick of it.

 ****

 The personal support worker greets them at the front door; a short and stocky Aboriginal woman clad in brightly patterned scrubs and bearing a name tag that identifies her as Maggie. She as kind, almost sad eyes, and a soft, pleasant smile and her grip is deceptively strong when she shakes their hands.

 “You must be Trevor,” she addresses him.

 “Tyler,” he gently corrects, and removing his sunglasses, hangs them on the neck of his t-shirt.

 She offers an apologetic smile. “He told me he was expecting someone named Trevor.”

 “Trevor was his brother. My uncle. He died twenty years ago. But I’m Tyler. His son.”

 “This happens, you know,” she sighs. “Moment when they can’t remember the people in the present, but they remember the ones from the past. It isn’t personal. It’s just the disease. It’s a cruel thing; what it does to people.”

 He nods in agreement, trying to at least appear sympathetic. But he feels nothing. No empathy. No pity. No sorrow that his father is slipping away. No regrets that they’ve let the years go by without even attempting a reconciliation.

 “You just moved back, I hear,” Maggie comments, as she leads them from the front foyer and towards the back of the house. “Were you gone long?”

 “Five and a half years.”

 “That’s a long time to be away from home. What made you come back?”

 “I came into some money and I was able to retire early,” Tyler explains. It’s not a total lie; that part did happen. It just wasn’t as easy as he’s making it sound. “My wife and I decided this was the best place to raise our kids.”

 “Well I can’t argue with that. Is this them?”  Maggie pauses in the hall between the living room and kitchen, nodding at the frame photographs on the wall. “Your kids?”

 It’s their school pictures from last year when they’d still been in Telluride. Before they’d ever heard of Michael McMann. And one of Declan when he’d just been a baby; not even crawling or walking yet.

 Tyler nods. “They’re a year older now. And we added another. A little girl. Two weeks old.”

 Maggie arches an eyebrow. “You’re telling me you have five kids?”

 “Yup.”

 “Five kids,” she breathes and shakes her head. “Boy, you’re either both brave as hell or you’re both just plain crazy.”

 “Maybe both?” Ovi suggests, and then laughs when Tyler directs a playful elbow into his stomach.

 “I actually have six kids,” Tyler says. “If we count him,” he jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “When he’s not being a smart ass.”

 Maggie looks Ovi up and down. “You’re one of his…” she nods at Tyler. “…kids?”

 The young man nods.

 “And just how does that work? When you look like you do…” she looks at Tyler, then at Ovi. “…and you look like you do.”

 “They took me in,” Ovi explains. “Six years ago. After my parents died. It was in my mother’s will. That I was supposed to go to Tyler. So…. here I am.”

 “Here he is,” Tyler confirms, and tousles Ovi’s hair. “Congratulations. It’s a boy. All six foot one and two hundred pounds of him.”

 “He’s not my father, but he is my dad,” Ovi says. “And that’s good enough for me.”

 Maggie gives a slow nod of agreement, and then once again leads the way down the hall. “Your father insisted we put those pictures up as soon as he moved in. He’s extremely proud of his grandkids.”

 Tyler doubts it. On both counts.

 “He’s having one of his ‘okay’ days,” she says. “Woke up knowing what day is, what month, what year.”

 “But thinks his dead brother is going to show up,” Tyler tosses out. And again, nothing. Not even the slightest hint of sadness. The man doesn’t deserve any. Not after the life he’s lived. Not with all the things he’s said and all the things he’s done.

 “He may have just screwed the name up,” she suggests. “I mean, you’re his son. He obviously knows your name.”

 “I haven’t been his son in a long time,” Tyler says. It doesn’t hurt to admit. It just is what it is. In the same way that Ovi may still bear the Mahajan name, but his father had stopped being a part of his life a long time ago because of his own selfish and evil choices. Just as Tyler’s old man had destroyed their relationship with the use of a belt or a fist or whatever else his father could get his hands on.

 “You’ll always be his son,” Maggie’s tone has a scolding tone to it. “He helped give you life.”

 “That’s about all he did. He knocked my mum up. That’s it. I know you mean well, but you shouldn’t be lecturing about how things are between him and I. I lived with him. You didn’t. So how about we just cut the chit chat and you mind your own business.”

 She holds her hands up un surrender, then nods towards the sliding glass door that leads out onto a small patio. “He’s out there. Likes to sit in the sun and listen to the birds. He’s a very sweet man. Very gentle. Very good to us.”

 Tyler gives a derisive snort. It will be a cold day in hell before he acknowledges any of those traits. Because before the old man’s brain started going on him, he was a tyrant. Controlling and manipulative. Drinking far too much. Treating his mother like a slave and then degrading her and beating her if she dared stand up for herself. And when she’d died, all that cruelty and abuse had been turned onto his only child. He could forgive what his father had done to him, but there’s no goddamn way he’d ever forgive him for what he’d done to his mum.

 ****

 His father sits in an old porch swing; frail and sickly looking, a far cry from the man he’d been the last time Tyler had seen him six years ago. When he’d still carried himself with a hint of cockiness and superiority; shoulders still broad, eyes still icy and intimidating. He’s a shell of his former self, and Tyler almost hates himself for viewing this as a form of karma. That after years of treating people horribly, the old man has been reduced to needing help from complete strangers to perform even the smallest of tasks.

 “William, “ Maggie speaks from the doorway. “You have company. Your son and your...” she looks at Ovi for clarification as to just who he is.

 “Grandson,” Tyler finishes for her.

 “Your son and your grandson are here,” she continues. “They’ve come to visit.”

 Tyler gives her a small, appreciative smile and then waits until she steps back into the house and shuts the door before turning to Ovi. “Why don’t you go and find that list he supposedly made of the things we need to fix. Probably on the fridge or the kitchen table or...”

 “TV,” his father speaks up. “It’s by the TV.”

 Tyler smirks. “Go check there. See what you can do on your own. I’ll be in in a few.”

 Ovi nods, then gives a nervous smile and a small wave when he notices Tyler’s father watching him, a puzzled look on his face.

 “Go on,” Tyler encourages. “I need a few minutes here.”

 “Okay,” Ovi agrees, and slips back into the house.

 “Hey dad,” Tyler greets, as he grabs one of the patio chairs and places it facing the swing, sighing heavily as he sinks down into it. “You know who I am right?”

 His father nods, then leans forward and takes a hold of Tyler’s chin, turning his face to one side, then the other. “They let you keep that fur in the army?”

 “I’m not in the army anymore. I haven’t been in it for a long time.”

 “The war is over? They sent you home? From Afghanistan?”

 “I was in Afghanistan sixteen years ago. The war’s been over for a while. That one at least.”

 “So you’re home now?”

 Tyler nods.

 “I don’t know if I have enough room here for you. There’s not a lot of space. I had to get rid of the old place and downsize and...”

 “Dad, I have my own place to live. In Cookstown. With my wife and my kids.”

 He looks puzzled. “You have more than one now? When did that happen? Wasn’t Sarah just getting ready to have Austin?”

 Tyler sighs and runs a hand through his hair, then over his face. “Sarah and I haven’t been together in a long time. Since Austin died. That’s almost sixteen years ago now.”

 His father cocks his head to the side, confusion in his eyes and lining his face. “It is?”

 “I got married again. You were at the wedding. In Sydney. Same little place you and mum got married at. Near the opera house.”

 “Tiny little dark haired thing?”

 “Esme. You made a joke about her having a weird name.”

 “Esme...Esme...” his eyes squint as he tries to remember. “...cute wee thing. I like her. She’s a sweetheart. You’re still married to her?”

 “Six years and counting. She’s still putting up with me somehow. Do you remember meeting your granddaughter? Amelia? I brought her to the old house.”

 His father nods.

 “She’s going to be six in a couple months. I’ve also got twin boys that just turned five. Tyler and Tanner and another boy that’s seventeen months, Declan. And we just had another baby two weeks ago. A little girl. Adeline.”

 The old man smiles. “Your mother’s name.”

 “We call her Addie for short.”

 “That’s nice. Real nice. That you named her after your mother. She loved you so much, you know. Your mother. You were her pride and joy. The light of her life. I’d never seen her so as happy as she was the day you were born. She was a good mom to you. A real good mom.”

 “Yeah....” Tyler clears his throat noisily, trying to rid himself of the lump of emotion that sits squarely in his windpipe. “...she was.”

 “She’s a good mom? Your wife?”

 “She’s an incredible mom. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother for my kids. Or for a better woman to give me children.”

 “Six years?” his father asks. That you’ve been together?”

 “Six years and a couple of months,” Tyler confirms. “I haven’t screwed this one up. Not yet, anyway.”

 “Must be a good woman. A strong woman. To put up with the likes of you. You’ve always been a handful.”  It isn’t said with malice; there’s a soft smile curving the old man’s lips.

 “She keeps hanging in there. Keeps giving me another chance every time I screw up. Which has been a lot, unfortunately. But she never gives up on us. On me.”

 “Don’t let her get away. You’ll regret it if you do. And treat her right. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. You’re better than that. You always have been. You’re better than me. Thank Christ.”

 “Well I guess that’s one thing I do have to thank you for,” Tyler muses. “Showing me how not to be.”

 “And you’re back home? In Australia?”

 “We were in Colorado. We just move back six months ago. We should get you out to the house. You’d love it. It’s right on the beach. Awesome spot. And you’d get to see Amelia again. And meet your other grandkids.”

 His father smiles. “I’d like that.”

 “Maybe for Amelia’s birthday,” Tyler suggests, and then stares down at his hands; palms up, studying all the callouses and scars that years on the job have left behind.

 There’s so much he wants to say. Things that he needs to get off his chest in regard to the nightmare that he’d lived through growing up. He wants to punish his father; make him feel even the slightest bit of regret and remorse for all the things he’s said and done.

 But he doesn’t. Because whatever he says will never come close to the torment that’s always taking place in father’s broken mind.

[localinferiorgood]

BNHA Modern Gang AU

*I got bored on a car ride and kind of got overexcited imagining and planning out this AU inside my head so uh, yeah. I should also note that I ultimately decided they would not have quirks in this AU*

General Stuff: - I’ll be referring to the gang as Gang X for now - The kids would go to school and everything like normal kids but after school would have gang training (physical and in weapon use (instead of having quirks)  - I want all of the major events of the show to still be incorporated in the AU, in some way - And I want all the kids to have the same personalities and relationships, because its not a BNHA AU if all the characters have different personalities (also I love my babies so) - Everyones “Hero Names” in the show are now their gang names - Instead of striving to become the #1 hero, they’re striving to eventually take over and become the head boss of the gang (at least Bakugo, Deku, and Todoroki are)

School: - So I was imagining the kids would go to a nice private school paid for by the gang - Also a major sports school - It would have mostly normal kids but have 2 classes (in each grade level) filled specifically with the gang kids (like the hero course; the normal kids would be based off the general track in UA) - There are rumors that the school may have gang ties, but no ones ever really been able to prove it - The school nurse (they call her Recovery Girl because it seems like she can take any injury in 15 minutes flat; she even takes care of broken bones and major injuries) and the principal (Nezu; not sure what would be unique about him yet, as he obviously can’t be a mouse in this one) and the gang-class teachers are all aware of the ties to the gang and are in it  - So to properly encompass and justify Class 1-A and Class 1-B’s relationship, I was thinking both classes could also be in sports(maybe volleyball,baseball or basketball(require a lot of  teamwork) but anything would probably work)?(it would be mandatory as physical training and to strengthen their bonds) - I can’t decide whether I would have Class 1-A be varsity and class 1-b be JV of the same sport or both varsity of different sports. 

Support Course/items: - So.... this wouldn’t be an extra class physically in school, but the kids training to work on support items would go to the same private school - Hatsume is still the prodigy - Support tailors weapons and sometimes clothing/other stuff to fit specific people  - Like they can tailor a specific gun to fit your hand, and can lower how much the gun kicks. They can do the same for knives, tailoring them to be the perfect length and weight for the user, as well as fitting perfectly in their hands. This goes for all weapons as well

“Gang Training”: - This is basically training to be able to be a competent gang member (most kids that get into the private school end up being higher ups) - They do basic physical training (I mean in hand-to-hand combat it helps to be strong, but also to handle the kick from any gun) but also with basic weaponry - The guns they use for training look, feel and have the actual kick of the gun they’re using but only actually shoot paintballs (Mr. Aizawa is a tough teacher but it’s not very rational to kill off all of your students lmao) - They train with all kinds of guns and ammunition, to get a feel for what each one is like and what they like. Aizawa requires them to train with all anyway though, as he believes you should be able to pick any random gun off the ground and shoot it with perfect efficiency and aim.  - There’s safety measures for swords and knives too, but I haven’t trained with those so idk what those would be lol 

All Might: - I was imagining he would be the boss, or head of the organization, since he’s #1 hero (at least in the beginning) - Like in the beginning of the show, he is secretly sick from an old injury and can only fight for so long before he starts coughing up blood.  - He’s still revered as not only the best gang leader ever but also one of the most amazing fighters the underworld has ever seen - But, as he gets older he still needs to find a worthy successor, as he’s definitely not immortal - Believes the boss should still be actively involved in the gang, fighting alongside his men and while some people think it’s foolish, everyone respects and likes him more for it 

All Might & Deku: - Obviously, Deku is still his secret chosen successor (or the one he wants to succeed him anyway but it will, in the end, go to the best candidate no matter what) - Deku was (distantly), probably through his father who’s in America, related to Gang X. His grandpa told him about it before he died, and all about All Might, the most impressive man in all the underworld, and has wanted to be just like him ever since - Soooo......I’m not entirely sure about how this part should play out, but I’m thinking maybe Deku was sick? And just couldn’t afford the really expensive procedure? (I’m pretty sure in the show Deku is middle class? So we’d keep it that way) - He by chance meets All Might and asks if he could ever be like him, even with his sickness, and All Might says no - Not sure what would go on to change his mind, but something happens, and All Might decides to pay for Deku’s hospital bills, heal whatever was going on, and personally start physically training him. Probably would make him clean up the whole ass beach still lmao - After the “entrance exam” (the physical part which happens after the standard school written at a secret location), Deku gets in by the skin of his teeth

Endeavor&Todofam: - uhhhhhhhhhhh........ - So he’s always wanted to be gang leader, but has always been behind All Might - He’s even tried duking it out with the boss a couple times but never wins - Not sure if I would make him head of the second most powerful branch of the gang or second in command - Either way he still not-so-secretly hates All Might, although he does grudgingly respect him - Wanted to become better than All Might, not get the top spot from All Might weakening, so he’s still pissed when All Might has to retire and he’s technically the boss now  - So, I haven’t been able to decide what Rei had that Endeavor wanted(since no quirks) but I still want it to be a fucked arranged marriage. Maybe she came from “good bloodlines” (like notoriously strong and smart /or people, whether her family was arranged in gang stuff or not) or maybe she was just very pretty and when she refused him, he literally bought off her parents? - Still raised Touya and Shouto specifically to be All Might’s successor - Touya still wasn’t good enough for some reason and something happened to him (weak bones maybe?) and he’s still dead in this AU (or is Dabi whatever the truth really is) - Rei still had a psychotic break and burned Shouto’s eye with boiling water and is in a hospital

Top 10 Heroes:  - So I want the top 10 heroes to either be the leaders of the 10 branches of the gang, or the top 10 members of the gang (they have a council or something)

Work Studies: - So in my old high school we were allowed to have a work study class, where we left campus for that hour and worked somewhere of our choosing, - Work studies were a big part of character development in the show so I’d like to keep those if possible - To make things less suspicious, work studies are required for all students (I mean let’s face it of entire classes all had work studies and others didn’t it would be weird). Also, since it’s a nice private school, I can totally see where they’d want the kids to go out and have “real world experience” before leaving high school - I would probably keep the fact that first years typically don’t have work studies (our school didn’t let freshman have them) but they’re trying something different this year - Of course the gang classes would be sent to various gang members (I think they’d still get to choose who, but idk maybe it would be more interesting if the teachers chose for them? - The general classes would go to whatever work study of their choosing, probably based on the careers they want to go into

Sports Festival:  - Literal school sports festival  - Limited only to those school students, i think - Gang members interested in work studies would come watch and scout - Would it be as internationally famous as the UA sports festival? i dont know tbh

Summer Camp & The Wild Wild Pussycats: - Not sure if here they would be purely working on physical ability and maybe martial arts or on weapons and stuff too - It would depend whether or not the Pussycats knew about the whole gang thing(or if they were involved in it) or were just regular physical trainers with no connection or idea about the gang thing - Kota......I think I would have his parents die in a gang-related accident and, obviously, hate anything to do with gang activity (which is normal anyway). If the Pussycats were not gang-related I’m not sure how the whole Deku-saving-him thing would go down but oh well - The League of Villains would be attacking still, to kidnap Bakugo (for whatever reason)

League of Villains (Gang Y) & All for One: - In a world where there are no “heroes” and “villians”, they obviously can’t go by that name (I mean I guess they can but I feel like that would be kind of stupid and odd) so we’ll go with Gang Y, for now - All for One can’t be immortal in this one, so maybe the gang name just keeps getting passed on from successor to successor? Or he’s just stupidly old(like 100 years old and still kicking ass)? - So, in the underworld, obviously no one is really “good” so to speak, I assume Gang X would still be involved in basic drug deals and stuff like that, but think Gang Y would be involved in some really fucked up shit. Like slave trade stuff maybe? Blood money? - Gang X and Gang Y have been top rivals since both of them started (around the same time) - Gang startup story would be the same as the beginning of the AFO and OFA rivalry in the show (2 brothers with different ideals) - AFO still ends up in jail after the legendary battle in Kamino Ward  - So......I’m having trouble with Shigaraki’s backstory since quirks aren’t a thing. Like obviously it would still be a horrific accident but.....yeah you get the point (haha it sucks trying not to spill manga spoilers) - Toga’s backstory would pretty much be the same I think - Spinner would have some deformity or something (since he can’t be a lizard) justifying his backstory - Twice is hard for the backstory thing.....but I would still have some traumatic event that caused him to do the contradicting voices thing - Nomu’s would maybe be like, brainless humans? Still look like flesh and blood humans but essentially be brain dead and only do what AFO tells them to do? Not sure but I’d still like them to be the result of human experimentation. - In Kurogiri’s case.........not sure tbh we’ll work on it  - Speaking of Kurogiri, he is like, get away driver/escape artist of the millennia. It’s like him and the rest of Gang Y just disappear into thin air. Even the police have tried to track him but? he’s just....gone? He’s still team mom, by the way, and really the only reason the Gang Y survives tbh (Credit to @tears-of-an-otaku )

Stain:  - Goes after and kills gang members (especially higher-ups) that he deems “corrupt” (ones that sit back and make underlings do all the work; rapers; betrayers; ones that are only really in it for the money; etc) - Puts chemicals on his weapons that immobilize his victims; The blood-type thing is still the same (works longer/better on specific blood-types) - Iida still goes after him for disabling his brother, and Deku finds and follows him, and Todoroki ends up coming as back up. - They still don’t get the credit for defeating him “for safety reasons”

Chisaki & Eri: - From a rivaling gang - Not sure how they find out whats going on but they do - Eri, at the very least, is still severely abused, but it would be cool to be able to incorporate using her blood to make some kind of drug  - Not really sure about much in this story arc tbh it’s so quirk-based it’s kind of hard to incorporate without them :/

The Licensing Exam: - Another sports festival, but this time with other major sports schools - Gang members come to scout as well  - In this one though, the other kids are just competing in a sports festival, but the teachers of the “gang classes” are also watching to determine whether or not their kids are ready to take on more “hardcore”/serious work studies (or even internships), where they would be able to experience what it’s actually like to be in a gang a little more in depth and practice real world fighting (and of course their special skills) - Special thanks to @tears-of-an-otaku for helping me figure this one out!

The Kids: - Like I said I want all the kids personalities and relationships to be the same - Jiro is still super into music and can still play (at least a little bit) a bunch of instruments; She has unnaturally good hearing too.  - Bakugo obviously can’t explode things with his hands anymore but has a dangerous interest in explosives (he was actually recommended to join the Support team but he rudely declined); still tells everyone to die on the (way too) regular; also still has the best reflexes in the class - Deku is super strong. Our sweet boy doesn’t look it but is strong af - Koda, still quiet as ever, is super good with animals (but afraid of bugs) - Momo is super good at designing and creating stuff and is very inventive(can always find a solution to a problem); She was also recommended to help in support but she (politely) declined; Still team mom - Iida’s a great runner (probably best at long distance but good at jump about anything)! Back in middle school, he was an absolute track star, but now-a-days with school, his class sports, and gang training, he doesn’t have time for track as well :( ;Still class president and team dad - Kaminari is still our lovable dumbass but is really good with electronics and wiring anything.  - Shinsou obviously can’t actually mind control, but he’s a super smooth talker and can convince almost anybody to do anything for him, so it can kind of seem like he controls people.  - Kirishima is an icon when it comes to defense training, he can block almost anything. He also never seems to get bruises. The rest of the class lowkey hates him for it because while, at the end of the day, they’re covered in bruises, Kirishima’s got maybe one (but usually not even that). He dyed his hair because he thought it made him took tougher and less boring - Aoyama is still into the ridiculously shiny, which is horrible for stealth practice, but he has this trick where he (maybe with a bracelet or something? Or a belt bc of his iconic belt in the show) can blind his opponent with the light reflecting off the metal and go in for an attack in that moment. It’s surprisingly effective.  - Oijiro may not have a tail, but he still excels at martial arts.He even rivals Bakugo (he might be able to win if Bakugo played by the actual martial arts rules that Oijiro was taught but he won’t) - Sugar makes Sato really energetic really quickly! (and for some reason makes him focus better). He’s still a super good cook and baker - Shouji still wears a mask all the time (he has a medical condition with his mouth that’s kind of gross and tends to scare people). He “talks with his hands” using sign language! He’s been teaching the rest of the class, as Aizawa said it was a very useful skill to have, especially in a situation where they need to be quiet but still communicate. - Hagakure, for whatever reason, is amazing a stealth missions! She’s somehow really good at blending into the background and even Jiro can’t hear her when she walks (unless she’s really focusing on it). Top of her class in it, actually.  - Mineta still isn’t that good in actual battle but is really good at simple immobilization (sorry the only thing I could think of for him even a little bit related to his quirk). - Ururaka (while not as strong as Deku), is surprisingly, incredibly strong. She can pick almost anything up and make it seem like the thing’s totally weightless (even when she’s actually struggling, something Deku can’t do) - Sero is the master of Duck tape really good at fixing stuff! It seems like he can fix almost anything; Him and Momo team up a lot when something breaks (which, in Class 1-A, is surprisingly often *cough* Bakugo *cough*); (Sorry, couldn’t really think of anything for him either but tape=fixing things? maybe?) - Mina is really into chemistry, specifically corrosives and hazardous mixtures. Her and Bakugo once teamed up after school and tried to make something - Aizawa said if they ever teamed up to do anything in the chemistry lab again they were going to be banned from it; Mina still has pink hair - Tokoyami has a pet raven that follows him everywhere-literally everywhere. It was a problem at first, but the school eventually decided to let Tokoyami keep it as long as it wasn’t making a mess anywhere and not attacking students (everyone else is lowkey mad about it like why does he get to keep a pet? Nezu tries to pass it off as an “emotional support bird” but everyone knows that’s bullshit); The bird (whom Tokoyami’s emo ass named Dark Shadow for some reason) can actually attack on cue! Actually, he kind of constantly has to be watched otherwise he might attack someone on the random (it’s happened; he seems to pick up on Tokoyami’s emotions somehow and if Tokoyami gets mad well.....; He has in particular had trouble Aoyama and all his sparkly things); The bird can actually send messages too! Tokoyami refuses to say how or why he trained his bird to do this but since no one expects such an old fashioned way of sending a message, it’s extremely useful for high secrecy messages (and packages; actually the actual gang has used it a time or two, a fact Tokoyami is secretly proud of). (Credit to @agaxso) - Todoroki is, not quite an expert, but has a weird amount of knowledge on arson and burning things (not sure why a gang would really need a skill like this except to burn bodies beyond recognition but Endeavor specializes in it so it must be useful somewhere); He also has an extensive knowledge of using  polyoxacyclobutane mixtures(liquid nitrogen definitely and maybe some other things?) to freeze things at whatever temperature (I think he’d probably shoot bullet-like things out of a modified gun; Freezing the target when it hits. Here’s a link explaining basically how polyoxacyclobutane works); He has practice with the modified gun from training with his father, but his mom was the one that originally taught him how to make and use the bullets properly.(Credit to @agaxso) - Monoma can do anything almost perfectly after watching someone else do it once. Unfortunately, he has a really horrible memory so he only retains the information for like an hour then has to watch them do it again. Still an annoying asshole - Kendo is tough as hell! Specifically has really tough hands/knuckles. The One Punch Man of class 1-B, she is literally known for being able to knock people out in only a punch or two. She once smacked Monoma and he had a wicked bruise on his cheek for 2 weeks. She still maintains that she “didn’t even hit him that hard” - Awase is an amazing welder! He was another candidate for the support team, but after some consideration he declined - Tetsutetsu, like Kirishima, has ridiculously tough skin that never bruises, and has amazing defense - I don’t really know enough about class 1-B to finish this unfortunately - Aizawa and Vlad actually put special time aside for the kids to practice and hone their specific skills and learn how to put them to use in battle. After all, you should use everything you have in your arsenal in real battle, and unique/special “skills” can be extremely useful in battle and often pack the element of surprise and can easily but you above whoever your fighting, (especially if they don’t have any special attacks)

Soooo......if anybody would like to write out this AU for me and help fill in the blanks I would love you forever and also probably owe you my life because I have absolutely fallen in love with this AU. Also let me know if I missed anything or you have ideas for the stuff I couldn’t fill in and I’ll put it in (and credit you of course lol) @todorokitops I know you’re a pretty well known Tumblr fanfic writer so......know anybody who might be up for the challenge?

[palanaeum]

Veth and absent parents

Ok, I just want to preface this by saying that I love Veth as a character and I think her story as a mother and wife is one of the most unique stories in the realm of D&D characters (not to mention the whole goblin curse thing!).  That said, I think it’s important that we talk about all sides of this conversation.

Content warning for small children being upset/depressed and parents and spouses who have to be away

In my family, I’ve seen up-close two different reactions to a situation like this.  I grew up with a father who was gone a lot for work.  There were months-long stretches where he would be working out of state and we could only contact him by phonecall.  I had three other siblings at the time.  This was very hard on my mother in ways that might be hard to predict.  Of course, it was hard wrangling 4 children, especially when we were multiple toddlers and babies (we were each born about 2 years apart), but there was also a household to run and take care of.  Groceries had to be bought (and all of us were brought with her to every store), laundry had to be done, doctor’s appointments had to be scheduled, kids had to be driven to dance and soccer and baseball and music lessons and all of this was done by my mother.  None of it could be delegated to a partner, and none of us really developed a relationship with our dad.

So!  The first response to this that I’m going to talk about is my own (and likely those of my fellow siblings who went through this period of time).  I don’t really have a relationship with my father.  Any connection we do have has been as adults.  I did not (like Luc) idolize my dad or wait restlessly for his return, and I didn’t much notice when he was gone.  It was always just my mother.  Of course I loved my dad as a kid and we would all run to him when he came home from work when he was living with us (usually around 8pm, our bedtime), but we never knew anything different.  That was just the way it was for us.  A dad to us was someone who worked six days a week and left for work before we woke up and came home at bedtime.

This doesn’t mean he didn’t love us or that he didn’t want to spend time with us.  It was actually the opposite.  When he had a day off, or any time he could be home during the day, he loved playing with us.  The rare times he had a Saturday off, he would come to our baseball games or go to the beach with us as a family.  We loved having him around and spending time with him.  We just didn’t mourn his absence.

Now, fast forward to age 12.  My dad has a different job, we’re living in one spot for more than three years, and we welcome a fifth child into the family.  This is my littlest sister (seven years younger than the next youngest), and she is the one who has had the second response I’m going to talk about.

My littlest sister absolutely adores our dad.  She was born in the era where he had a better job with better hours and was able to be around.  There were still a few months where he worked out of state, but he drove home on the weekends.  For most of her life, my littlest sister has had a father at home.

Fast forward to now, when she is seven years old, so about 2 years older than Luc (whom we are going to get to, I promise).  With quarantine, my dad worked from home for about six months straight, and so was able to be around literally all day, every day for my littlest sister, and she has loved this time.  Unfortunately, with the economy how it is now due to the pandemic, my dad lost his job (well, he jumped a sinking ship).  The only job he could find that he felt could support a family of seven with three college students was one in Alaska, 2.4 thousand miles away.  My younger brother is in his senior year of high school, so my mom wasn’t willing to uproot him at the start of the school year to go do online school in a new state.  SO!  My dad is living away from the family three weeks out of four.

When my littlest sister heard that he had to leave, she was absolutely devastated.  The days before his leaving she was upset, and once he was gone she was upset.  She loves my dad and looks up to him so much, and his absence has really hit her hard.  She will be fine one moment, but any little thing can set her off and then she’s inconsolable.  The day after he left, she was playing quietly by herself when she came across some drawings she had done for him that he had saved and put up on the wall in his closet.  That absolutely wrecked her, and she was crying for the rest of the day.

The pattern seems to go like this: when my father is home, she is cheerful and wants to spend as much time as possible with him telling him about all of the exciting things she’s been doing and hearing about how it is up in Alaska and she’s happy.  But as soon as someone mentions that it’s time for him to leave again, she breaks down and freaks out, and as soon as he’s gone, she has to be distracted at all moments or we will find her sitting somewhere crying thinking about him.

It’s rough!  It’s rough on her and it’s also rough on the rest of us, because there’s nothing we can really say to help her feel better.  She gets that he’s coming back eventually, but she’s a child and that doesn’t help her in the moments where he is still gone and will be gone for a while.

SO.  What does this have to do with Veth and Luc?  Well, something, at least?

Veth is in somewhat of a similar situation, she is away earning money to support Luc and Yeza, and she feels it is her duty to save the world.  But she also feels a duty to her family and her child.

What the leaving TM9 / leaving her family choice comes down to for me is how it is affecting Luc.  I know Matt is staying away from blatant guilt-tripping on his part because he wants Veth to make this decision herself and not feel like it’s Matt the DM pressuring Sam the player to make a decision either way, but it seems like Luc’s reaction is closer to my sister’s than mine.  He wants to tell her everything about what he’s been doing, he wants to hear all about what she has been doing and what she’s seen, and he wants to emulate her because he looks up to her!  He adores her!  He sees her as an amazing and cool person and he wants to spend his time with her.

Part of what makes it hard on my sister is the repeated leavings.  Those moments and the time after my dad leaves are the ones that are hardest for her, and that’s with the certainty of how long he’s going to be away and that he is coming back.  I can’t imagine how hard it is for Luc when Veth leaves after only a short time and he has no idea when or even if she will come back.

Now, this isn’t me saying that she is evil if she doesn’t stay withe her family.  This is a very nuanced situation, and there’s a compounding factor in that she is working to save the world and she has friends who rely on her being there for them.  She has a duty to them and a duty to the world that aren’t erased by her duty to her child.

Just... she has a lot going on right now, and I’ve seen some people try to assert that Yeza would be wrong if he even implied that he prefers her here to perform her domestic duties.  Yeza deserves to have a partner whom he can rely on and Luc deserves a mother that can be around for him and actually be a parent to him, not just a person who comes around every once in a while to give him gifts and then disappear for who knows how long. 

What if Yeza meets someone else who starts becoming someone to rely on?  What if this person is more of a parent to Luc than Veth is?  What if this person is more of a part of the family and co-parent than Veth?  Does that make Yeza evil or unfaithful?  Does that make Veth a deadbeat?  Does that mean she deserves to be cut out of her own son’s life?  Well, it’s complicated!

Veth loves Luc!  She absolutely adores him and I think that this is a critical time for her where she is actually coming to face this decision instead of running away from it like she has been.  She had a lot of her own issues to deal with but I think she’s realizing that she could just stay with her family and settle down; that it’s an actual option open to her.  Whatever way it goes, it will have major bearing on her character arc and what she wants.  I think she’s realizing that she can’t be a mother by dropping in at random times and disrupting their routine and then disappearing for weeks or months without a word, and I think she’s really struggling with that now. 

Either way this goes, it will be hard for her and I think it will be really interesting.  I know that Sam will not cheap out on the roleplay for this decision; he has a long history of doing what is right for his characters and not just what’s interesting to him.  It will be fun to watch!  And also, just judging on past big Sam character decisions, painful!

[jae-canikeepyou]

| signs | j.jh

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader genre: fluff a/n: another scenario for you all yay! excuse the grammar if there are sore ones down there.😂 ideas pop up to me at midnight and i probably wrote this with half-lidded eyes/sleepy self lol this is a prequel to this! 😊 enjoy reading! ~j.

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you twirled several times in your new dress, admiring the style and design you recently bought from your savings. it was your favourite outfit. especially today when it was summer; your floral yellow smocked bandeau mini dress shaped your body. gladly your best friend gifted you a new curler and because of that, you tried your best to doll up for today’s occasion. and as much as possible, you kept your makeup natural.

the mirror in front of you revealed your husband jaehyun, eyeing you from head to toe as a smile crept his lips. he rubbed the nape of his neck in surprise that no matter how he looked at you, he always told himself that he chose the right one for him. “wow..”

your lips curve to a smile from ear to ear. “so.. how do i look?” you swayed as you held the hems of your dress, tiptoeing on your wedged heels with fresh white manicure. on every new outfit you wore on dates with jaehyun, you felt like a princess. and this time, you got married, queen was the definite and suitable word now.

“do you want my honest opinion, love?” his hands snaking to hug your waist where he rested his chin onto your shoulder. jaehyun looked at your side profile for a while before looking back at the mirror, in awe that his wife was his world now.

you giggled at his reflection, his ears turning from pink to beetroot red. “i think you’ve said it already.” you kissed his cheek. a scoff from him made you laugh so hard, he chuckled at your reaction.

“damn, i can’t really hide them, can i?” he kissed you back and let his fingers inter-locking with yours. “c’mon, we’ll be late.”

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the drive to the beach was a long one, but since jaehyun was with you, it was ever so often that car karaokes were the norm. it became daily. he called it ‘car’aokes instead, and you sighed at the corny bad pun. yet despite his failed attempt on bad jokes, his voice was so soothing you secretly could not help yourself to record his vocals while he was immersed into the songs he played. today though was quite different. jaehyun wanted to enjoy the drive with a track from chet baker.

you brought out your sunglasses and fixed it onto the bridge of your nose. “love, here.” you handed his pair between your fingers and he took to wear it.

“the vibe’s great.” he turned to the next street. “sun’s out and i’m with you. this is the life.” you hiccuped at the sudden cheesiness, feeling his hand onto yours as you hummed in response. “‘everything happens to me’ is great.” he smiled, referring to the title song track.

at the corners of your eye, you spotted the crystal blue of the sea with white sand in contrast. you sat up properly that it caught jaehyun’s attention. “gosh i love the view!” you squealed as if you’ve seen it for the first time. you loved beaches, which was why for your honeymoon just a month before, you and jaehyun went to the maldives. heck you wished you never left.

“i love this view better.” he said under his breath as he smiled, but you couldn’t hear it since you excitedly vlogged the scenery. minutes later you both arrived at the car park just by the beach. jaehyun unbuckled his seat belt and grab the essentials. just by the outdoor hut and public toilets, he noticed how men would eye you differently. and because of these kinds of indicidents, he became protective. you felt him pulling your body closer to him. “stay close to me, y/n.”

you sensed what he meant and you assured him that everything will be fine. “aren’t we close already?” you teased as you both walked to the party.

“closer is better.”

upon arriving to the beach, johnny and your best friend min-ju welcomed you both. their one year old son youngmin, immediately ran to you with his wobbly legs and squeaky shoes; it was a gift jaehyun chose for his first birthday.

“hey buddy!” you bent down, later carrying him in your arms. “i heard you’ll be a big brother soon! oh min-ju he looks just like you.” the compliment made her blush. she then brought you to the nearby restaurant where the others had been.

jaehyun had his hands in his pockets, smiling to himself at the sight of you as he followed you from behind. johnny nudged him, making the lad blush. “so how was the honeymoon?” he wrapped his arm around his shoulders, attempting a head rub.

“it was great. could’ve stayed there longer but i had to work with the team right after-”

“will youngmin expect a best friend in a few months?” johnny’s grin crept his lips and for sure he wanted to see his best bud’s reaction.

“oh my go- dude!” jaehyun attempted a punch but was stopped by taeyong, yuta and taeil.

“what did we miss?” taeil asked the younger ones. curiosity grew in him when he spotted jaehyun’s red ears. “yep, i think i got what you mean.”

the party began shortly after lunch. at one table, there were two buckets of blue and pink, and post-its beside them. variety of foods were placed nearly onto the tables. you stood beside jaehyun, who wrote his guess onto the squared paper as you poked his cheek. “i think it’s a boy.” you said.

“my guess is a girl.” jaehyun held your waist, walking to the rest of the group. there was a short video tribute, of how johnny’s family had started; from the proposal to the birth of youngmin. games were played too, and it somehow ended up becoming a bet of who will have their next child. now, johnny and min-ju stood at the front with youngmin as they lead everyone out to the beach. the baby’s gender was about to be revealed.

phones and cameras were up already to record the moment. johnny had his baseball bat ready and min-ju threw the ball. blue powder scattered the air and you hopped in joy, cupping your mouth for a louder volume. jaehyun found that trait of yours cute and imagined the time when you both become parents some day in the future.

his friends approached him and johnny soon followed. “congrats johnny!” mark shook the older’s one hand. behind the dimpled man, little did jaehyun know that his friends planned to tease him again and obviously it was johnny’s idea.

yuta nudged jaehyun, trying to point out how his wife and you, were conversing by the hammock. “looks like they’re having a good time.”

“y/n, how was maldives?” sakura sat beside you, handing you fresh orange juice and cookies.

“tell me about it. i’d want to live there forever. it’s all stress free.” you munched onto the cookies as you told her how the place truly felt like paradise.

sakura giggled at your hungry self. she noticed how much of a foodie you were today and leaned in to whisper. “you can’t be.. uh pregnant right?”

you bursted out a laugh with cheeks that made you look like a hamster. automatically your hands waved in the air. you held your dress and made your stomach shape visible through the fabric. “it’s a food belly though.” you tapped onto it.

jaehyun choked on his drink when the droplets slid down his lips. quickly he put down the glass he was holding as he watched you giggle with sakura. smirking at the scene, yuta saw the lad with a teasing mind. “it’s probably a sign, jae.” he said, making him cough.

*cough* “it can’t be that fas-” he trailed off, later realising how he slipped. “ah! it’s not what you-”

“so youngmin will actually be expecting a best friend in the months coming.” johnny interrupted, overhearing the conversation. “great i’ll tell him!”

“uh wait we haven’t really plan-” jaehyun stumbled his words, panicking that how to reply.

squeals and laughters from children stopped the men from teasing jaehyun. they looked over to where you were, surrounded with children who thought you had a life inside you by tapping your belly. your flustered state caused you to fan yourself from the heat. whether it was from the temperature or the reaction towards the children, heat still crawled your body.

you carried youngmin in your arms and he pointed at your stomach. jaehyun rubbed the nape of his neck; a lost for words. he really wanted to have a family with you, be a father to your kids and watch each other grow as parent.

his tinted ears caught the attention of his friends. “is y/n really pregnant?” taeyong asked.

“babies are crowding over her.” taeil took a sip from his drink.

“she’s loved by everyone because she’s a teacher. i’m guessing it’s instinct for children to know if a person loves children.” jaehyun looked at you.

“well, i’m sure she’ll be a great mom.” taeil said, noticing how jaehyun held his chest that was probably hammering quick.

the party was ending and you later stood beside jaehyun, his hands rubbing circles at your back. his lips took your attention where teeth marks were seen. whenever he would bite his lips, it only meant that either he was thinking too much, or that he was stressed. he felt fingers brushed onto them made jaehyun turn to you. “hm?” he hummed.

“are you okay?” you asked with worry in your eyes. he didn’t respond, but his large palms pulled you to rest on his chest for a hug. “well if you are, i think we should be heading home.”

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you had already fastened your seatbelt. jaehyun soon opened the door, typing away on his phone as he waited for the air conditioning to settle down. his brows furrowed onto the luminated screen.

[22:54] john suh: “u might want 2 buy a pregnancy tester. :p”

[22:55] john suh: “there’s a possibility ;D”

[22:56] jae jung: “we’ll do that if symptoms comes, johnny. lol take care on ur way home. see you at the office in 2 days. :p”

“love?” he shot up at your voice and grabbed your hand.

“yes?” he asked and you pointed at the back.

“they’re flickering headlights?” you giggled and jaehyun embarrassedly stepped on the gear with his faint dimples.

whilst on the way, jaehyun decided to stop by the convenient store before heading home. he opened the roof for fresh air and to stargaze. he thought that a little night snack wouldn’t hurt, so when he saw you entering the car with a bagful of snacks, all he could do was to hide his reaction from you. you sat comfortably with your legs rested onto the dashboard, munching away your favourite sushi roll and chips. he saw your slowly-hyped up self, dancing to nothing but the sound crunches your mouth made as you created your own song out of pure happiness.

when you danced, he then remembered the children back at the party. his eyes took a quick glance towards your belly and did notice a belly. his loud gulp caused you to turn at him. “okay, what’s up with you?” you giggled. “you’re all so tensed right now.”

“uhm n-nothing.” jaehyun said as his fingers gripped so tightly onto the stirring wheel.

you eyed him with a smirk, and a short stare-off happened. “are you sure love?”

“of course!” he attempted a smile but gulped unknowingly.

“uh-huh. i recognise that kind of gulp.” you popped another piece into your mouth.

jaehyun inhaled deeply enough that his lungs were running out of oxygen. all kinds of ideas came flooding his mind. did you know what he was thinking as you looked at him? he anticipated for the answer and the silence was killing him. maybe you overheard his conversation with the guys? of the possibility that you might be-

“you’re hungry too, aren’t you?” you laughed so loud that jaehyun did the same. “you could’ve just gotten a pack for yourself!”

“what?” a dumbfounded jaehyun asked with his mouth slightly open. “oh gosh..”

“look i even got your favourites!” you fumbled the insides of the paper bag. “see!”

jaehyun pursed his lips, grabbing a red handkerchief from his pockets to wipe the sweat rolling down his temples. as he finished doing so, a piece of chip appeared before him. “y/n my love. you are so cute.” he said with his ears dusted with pink shade.

“it’s my dress that makes me feel cute.” you singsonged.

“no i mean i find you really cute when you’re hungry all the time. you’ve had cravings here and there. sometimes it’s out of the blue too. the guys even joked about it but i just can’t help thinking that you might be-” he felt you kiss his cheek as he said his feelings in one breath. you smiled at him lovingly, and you found your hands interlocking with his.

“the guys could be right though.” you spoke in a soft voice. jaehyun had his hopes high earlier with his friends, but right now the assumption was confusing. “but they could be wrong too. jae, we’ve been wanting to start a family. i know that completely. we even talked about this back in college and i really can’t wait for that time to come when there’s mini you’s and me’s. we have to wait for the right time.“ you said as you caressed his cheeks.

“okay.” he finally smiled. “i guess i just got excited at the thought of it. because the hyungs have their own children and i’m kinda lacking behind.”

“it’s never a race to start a fambam! it’s a process that needs effort and dedication.” you said. “and for the record, mark’s still single so you’re way a step ahead.”

“but you just said it’s not a race.” jaehyun chuckled.

“did you know mark actually planned to pursue me back in high school?” you teased jaehyun again. his smile slowly disappears on every word. “but you were better at scoring the jackpot so yeah.” you gestured yourself.

jaehyun’s face cringed at your self compliment. yet he wouldn’t say he didn’t like it. “that’s because you’re really cute, hot nerd.”

“nah you’re star player who caught my eye, hot coach.” you felt your neck being pulled closer. he looked at your lips and tilted his chin slightly for a kiss.

there were only two things; the signs earlier could be wrong or that it was going to happen soon. jaehyun knew anyway, that you both were to be parents later in the future.