#I can’t be bothered with shit. anymore. it’s not worth it

[peapod20001]

*beats whatever part of my body that is releasing an abundance of stress chemicals every time I see something that’s a .07 / 100 on the stress scale*

[whimsyprinx]

gonna be blunt and just say that people make me feel like I’m not worth any effort or that I’m just a joke and I’m really sick of it

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

is it casual now?, pt. two

pt. one

my friends call me a loser ‘cause i’m still hanging around. i’ve heard so many rumors that i’m just a girl that you bang on your couch. i thought you thought of me better, someone you couldn’t lose. you said, “we’re not together,” so now when we kiss i have anger issues. you said, “baby, no attachments,” but we’re knee deep in the passengers seat and you’re eating me out, is it casual now?

around one in the morning, steve can’t take the tossing and turning anymore. he calls robin and she just says she’s coming over. she rides her bike all the way to steve’s house in the dark even though he tells her over and over not to do that. she just does.

he both loves and hates that she does.

steve’s on the couch in the living room again, moved back downstairs when he realized sleep wasn’t coming tonight. he’s sitting right where eddie had looked at him and rejected him. right where eddie had decided steve wasn’t worth the trouble. even in the privacy of his own mind, steve knows he’s not being exactly fair, but he can’t stop his thoughts from circling over what happened, over and over and over again, until the night is all smooth around the edges, all the good stuff rubbed away.

so that’s where robin finds him, wrapped in the navy comforter he’d dragged from his bed with the television glowing on mute. the house is dark and she just lets herself in like she always does.

“i take it the talk didn’t go so well,” her voice is light and steve can tell she’s trying not to add any inflection to the statement, trying hard so it doesn’t sound like a question.

“i don’t know, doesn’t every great love story start with someone storming out after the confession?” steve tries to make it a joke, to make it sound flippant, but his voice comes out flat. robin’s mouth quirks up a little any way and he knows it’s something like a pity laugh, but it does soothe the stabbing pain in his chest just a little.

“you wanna talk about it or you wanna let me take you to bed and big spoon the shit out of you?” robin reaches out to run her hand lightly through his hair, just once, before she lets it fall back into her lap. she’s wearing her pajamas, the wide leg of her flannel pants stuffed into her bright yellow rainboots, like she’d left the house in a hurry, couldn’t bother to change or find proper footwear.

steve sighs. “not a whole lot to talk about. i told him it would be kinda cool to maybe… date but he said he already told me he doesn’t really do that. and he’s right. i was just being dumb, i guess.”

“is that how you said it?” there’s a crease between her eyebrows now and she’s got that expression on her face that she always gets when she’s trying to solve a puzzle.

“i mean, not, like, word for word or whatever, but yeah, that’s the general gist of how it went.”

her expression shutters and her jaw sets. “right, well. he doesn’t have to be a super mega asshole about it.”

“he wasn’t,” steve tells her, earnestly. robin is eddie’s friend too and he doesn’t want this whole dumb thing ruining that too. they could all use all the friends they could get at this point, especially ones who get it, whatever it happens to be. “i promise. it was just… my mistake. he did tell me, from the beginning. i just misunderstood.”

robin’s face softens slightly. she reaches her hand out to lock her fingers with his and they sit there in the glow from the tv for a long moment, silent. “let’s go to sleep,” she yawns finally, standing from the couch. “everything will be better in the morning.”

~*~

robin is half wrong, but she’s also half right. things are better in the morning. steve doesn’t feel like his chest is going to cave in at every small wrong move and he doesn’t feel like crying every five seconds after his extensive cry sesh in the shower.

but eddie still isn’t there.

~*~

it’s been weeks since steve has seen eddie. steve’s not stupid. he’s aware that eddie’s actively avoiding him, despite the fact that steve has called the trailer multiple times trying to apologize. he’d left a confusingly vague message with wayne, one he’s sure had made no sense if it was even relayed to eddie at all. picking the kids up from hellfire at the wheelers is a newly torturous experience with the kids now waiting for him on the curb awkwardly instead of making steve wait an extra fifteen to twenty minutes on the wheeler’s gross plaid couch in their basement that perpetually smells like corn chips. everyone seems to be clearly aware that something is up. he’s sure he sees sympathy in mrs. wheeler’s eyes when she waves to him from their front door, thanking him for driving the kids home.

steve’s not exactly sure where it all went wrong. he knows now that he’d blindsided eddie; it was more than apparent now that eddie hadn’t even thought about what he was doing or how steve was feeling. steve spent hours thinking about eddie every day and it was clear now that that was not reciprocated. which is fine, he guesses, but he had thought he and eddie were friends first. they’d saved the world together after all. that tended to bond people forever, he’d assumed, just simply based on his relationships with robin and dustin and even nancy. he hadn’t really accounted for losing eddie completely. but steve was clearly fucking clueless when it came to eddie munson, so maybe he’d actually been wrong about everything all along.

he ping pongs back and forth between feelings of self-pity mixed with self flagellation and feelings of intense, white-hot anger at eddie. one minute, he’s sure this is all his fault, that he really is the dumbest person on planet earth and he definitely deserves to have people leave him constantly when he’s so fucking stupid all the time, can’t even keep his stupid fucking mouth shut and his stupid ugly feelings to himself for one time in his stupid fucking life. the next, he starts to blame eddie for what happened instead, blames him for not understanding steve at all. it’s eddie’s fault for not seeing what was right in front of his stupid fucking face. but after a couple of minutes of that, he’s back to being certain it really was his fault after all.

so after almost a month of no returned phone calls, no surprise visits at work just to say “hey” because eddie couldn’t sit around all day waiting for steve to get off his shift, no casual touches as they chat while eddie packs up his dnd gear, steve finally takes the massive fucking hint for what it is and stops calling. he begs jonathan to pick the kids up from hellfire, lying about a new shift schedule at work. he refuses to drive the kids anywhere that eddie might potentially be, even when the kids insist eddie really won’t be there. he’s trying so hard to convince himself that actually he’s the one avoiding eddie and not the other way around. he’s barely even hanging out with robin anymore, besides work. she seems to get that he needs time alone right now though. steve’s never been more grateful for a platonic soul mate.

but after this long, agonizing month of constantly rearranging his own life to help someone else avoid him, steve’s exhausted. he’s been having more nightmares than usual, ones where the people he loves all take turns dying in his arms. it’s a wednesday when he finally has the night off and he decides to treat himself with sixteen candles and a pizza. he orders his pie and fifteen minutes later he’s pulling his wallet from his pocket before answering the knock on the door.

“what do i owe you?” he asks after the door swings open. he’s got his eyes on his wallet in his hands, fingers moving over the bills folded together.

“oh, um,” a familiar voice stutters. steve’s eyes snap up. “i—“

steve feels like he can’t get any air for a minute. eddie’s just standing on his front step, staring.

steve’s throat feels dry. he has to swallow a few times before he can get any words out, but eddie beats him to it anyway.

“can we, uh. talk?” eddie looks nervous, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. steve steps out of the way, silently letting eddie pass him on his way into the house. the door swings shut and it’s the loudest sound steve’s ever heard in his life.

they stand in the small foyer with its huge ceilings and steve can feel the cold of the tiles through his thin socks. eddie makes no move to enter further into the house, so neither does he. steve shifts on his feet, crossing his arms over his chest, suddenly uncomfortable in the silence of his own home.

“i’m sorry,” steve says quietly, after a long stretch of silence that makes it clear eddie’s not actually about to speak. eddie’s eyes keep flitting around the small space, landing everywhere but steve’s face. eddie shrugs, looking over steve’s shoulder into the kitchen behind him.

“it’s not—“ eddie shakes his head, cutting himself off. steve wants desperately to hear how he’d finish that sentence. almost as desperately as he doesn’t.

“i ruined it.” steve runs his hand through his hair. “i tried calling the trailer… to apologize. left a couple messages with wayne but.” he shrugs.

eddie grunts. steve wishes he knew how to make this better. he can’t tell if the grunt means eddie got his messages or not. he’d thought he was good at deciphering eddie’s noises by now.

“look,” steve says, finally frustrated with the whole thing. “we were kind of friends before we started… hooking up or whatever. i get that you wanted something casual and that i ruined it. i get that i fucked it up and i made you uncomfortable and—i just get it, okay? you didn’t do anything wrong. you were always honest. i was just seeing what i wanted to see and i let myself believe something that wasn’t real. so. i would really like for us to be friends again. i hate this, eddie. it really sucks. i don’t like not seeing you around. i just—this sucks.”

eddie nods, swallowing thickly, but he doesn’t really seem like he’s hearing steve.

“yeah,” eddie finally agrees. “this sucks.”

steve gets the sense that eddie means more than just this whole dumb thing between them, but he’s trying not to be in the business of making assumptions about what eddie means anymore.

“i have a pizza coming,” steve sighs. “if you want to stay?” he can’t help but feel hopeful and he knows this is too much, to invite eddie to stay when they haven’t even really made up yet, but he doesn’t know how to fix this. he’s never been good at this.

eddie glances into the living room and steve’s not entirely sure what he sees or what he imagines, but he watches as eddie swallows again, eyes darting quickly to steve’s face, just once, before he gives his head a small shake. “no, i don’t—i should go. but we’ll see each other, okay, harrington?” and he says it like a question but steve thinks he knows it’s not really a question at all. steve will see eddie any time, anywhere, whenever eddie asks.

steve tries to smile before shuffling toward the door and watching eddie go.

~*~

it’s another ten minutes before his pizza even gets there and when it does, steve’s feeling even more sorry for himself than he has in the last month since he’d asked eddie out. he makes it halfway through the movie and the pizza before he starts to consider calling robin. it’s been a while since they’ve just hung out and that’s been entirely steve’s fault. she hasn’t said anything because she knows steve inside and out, but steve is really missing her right now.

he’s just about ready to pull on his shoes and pick up the phone to tell robin he’s on his way to get her when there’s a knock at the door. half of him is confused, the other half is convinced it must be robin, having sensed his desire for her company. he stands and makes his way to the door, a half smile on his face as he swings it open for the third time tonight.

“look, what happened before is not why i came here, so wait and just let me talk and then you can say whatever you want but if you don’t let me just get this out, i’m never going to say it and i… you deserve to hear it so i need to say it, for real, right now,” eddie’s practically panting as he pushes past steve.

“um okay,” steve tries to get out but eddie glares at him.

“shut up, shut up for real, okay.” eddie crouches down in the foyer of steve’s house, his head in his hands between his knees. his voice comes out a little muffled, but steve can still hear him pretty clearly. “you didn’t ruin anything. you didn’t. really. i ruined it. i ruined a really good thing.”

steve feels like his chest is being hollowed out but he bites his lip, desperate not to interrupt.

eddie groans and steve can see his fingers tense and release in his own hair. “you were so sweet, on the couch. the last time.” he says it like steve could’ve forgotten and steve feels a blush rise on his cheeks. “you… you looked so soft and gooey and hopeful and i—i fucked it up. because back when this whole thing started, it seemed like a miracle that you’d even look at me. like. you’re… you and i’m just me. what the fuck.” eddie laughs almost hysterically. steve feels his fingernails cutting into his own palms with how hard he’s trying to stay still and silent. eddie still hasn’t looked up from where he’s holding himself tight. “and it kept happening and happening and happening and i—i’ve never… i’ve never.”

“oh,” steve can’t help but breathe out in surprise.

eddie shakes his head a little, seems to forget himself and look up and then he’s just staring at steve’s face. he swallows again and steve can see his hands shake. “no, i mean, i’ve… but never… more than once. never all the time.” now that eddie’s looked steve in the eyes, he can’t seem to look away. his eyes look so huge and glassy from where he looks up at steve from his place on the floor. steve feels his heart clench. his fingertips ache. “never like that.” steve nods. “and then you didn’t leave. you didn’t run or pretend it didn’t happen. and you let me pretend it was something it wasn’t, like we weren’t… like it wasn’t… important.” steve’s brows furrow in confusion. “because i was lying. obviously. of course i was. it wasn’t casual. you’d never be casual. not for me.”

“i don’t—“ steve suddenly can’t breathe.

“wait. please.” eddie’s eyes go soft around the edges. “i fucked it up, stevie, because i was lying the whole time. and i thought you were just letting me lie because… i don’t know. i don’t know why, because i know it wasn’t casual for you either. it was all over you. and that was really, really scary.” steve falls to his knees on the foyer tiles, vaguely aware of the dull ache, before sliding closer to where eddie is crouched. he whimpers, just a little, when eddie holds out his palm, presses it to the center of steve’s chest to keep him from getting too close. “hold on, baby, i just. i have to say it, please. gimme a second, i’m just…” eddie gives his head another small shake, as if he’s trying to clear it. “i’m sorry, i guess, is what it really all comes down to. i’m sorry i let you think you weren’t important. i only realized you didn’t know that night on the couch and i… i guess i saw some plausible deniability. a way to walk away without getting, like, totally annihilated. and that’s, you know. my whole issue.” eddie swallows again, hand fisting into the fabric of steve’s shirt. “i was scared. i ran. because… because i love you, stevie. i was falling in love with you this whole time and trying to act like i wasn’t. because i was an idiot. and i couldn’t be the one to break first. but what a stupid, fucked up way to think about it, huh? i love you, man, and you deserve to hear it and feel it and have it, is really what i’m trying to say. i just love you.”

somewhere in all of that, eddie had used his grip on steve’s shirt to pull him in closer so their noses are practically touching. steve can feel the prickle of tears in his own eyes, can feel eddie’s breath on his lips.

“you love me?” even steve can hear how incredulous his own voice sounds.

eddie huffs out a laugh and steve can feel it on his skin. “yeah, dude. of course i do. how could i not?”

“dude,” steve repeats, cause like… really?

“is that all you have to say?” eddie slides his nose along steve’s, nuzzling, skin warm. steve’s eyelids go heavy.

“you left me hanging for, like, a month, bro,” steve tries to joke, but his voice sounds too breathless.

“yeah,” eddie murmurs. “i’m so sorry, baby. can i kiss you?”

and all steve can do is nod.

~*~

the next morning, steve wakes up to soft sunlight filtering in through the blinds he forgot to close last night. he feels hazy, all syrupy and warm, before he bolts upright in his bed. or tries to. because just as he’s moving, he notices the heavy presence on his right arm.

“too early,” eddie groans, shuffling naked under the covers. “turn it off.”

“turn what off? the sun?” steve smiles as he turns to spoon his equally naked body behind eddie. he drops a kiss to eddie’s bare shoulder.

“mmhmm,” eddie hums, and steve can hear the smile in it.

“hey,” steve says, before they both fall back into sleep for a few more minutes. “i love you, too, by the way.”

“oh yeah, by the way?” eddie snorts.

“better than ‘i love you, dude.’”

“oh, you think so?” eddie shifts in steve’s arms until he’s somehow gotten on top of steve, holding steve’s wrists above his head. steve can’t help but thrust his hips upwards in eddie’s direction. “yeah, okay,” eddie concedes, breathless, grinding his own hips downward. “you’re right. whatever you say, beautiful. can’t argue with that. super compelling argument.”

steve has to kiss him just to shut him up.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi hi! Can I request an angsty/fluff piece with Jason? Maybe he hasn't told her that he's Red Hood yet, and they want to tell him that she loves him for the first time, but with his constant disappearances at night they're thinking that he's starting to get tired of them?

This went a little too long when I decided to stop, so I might need to split this into two parts if needs be 🦦

‘Hey honey,’ you greeted Jason with a peck to the cheek, pulling away smiling brightly. ‘Are you all ready for movie night tonight? I’ve already got a couple films set up and ready to go and I promise none of them will make you cry like last time.’

Jason grimaced. Shit, he knew that something was happening tonight but couldn’t remember what and -like a dumbass- had agreed to going out on a patrol with Dick and Damian later on. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry chipmunk I can’t do movie night tonight. Can we do it next week?’ Jason hated how he was the one who made the smile upon your face disappear as quickly as it came, he hated how he was the reason why the excitement left your eyes, only to be replaced by a look of poorly concealed disappointment.

Jason hated how it seemed as of late that his commitment to being a vigilante had been the leading cause of your unhappiness. While he was out clearing Gotham almost every night, you were left in your shared apartment, left to sleep alone in a bed that was designed for two people and ponder how things could’ve gotten to this stage; wondering whether this was a relationship worth being in after all.

You sighed, trying to be understanding but how could you when this was the third time Jason had bailed on you this week. It didn’t seem fair to keep trying at this point when it seems as though you’re the only one who is actively trying to make time for each other. You had planned to tell Jason you loved him tonight but all that was thrown into the bin, all because he apparently forgot all about it. ‘It’s fine Jason, I’m sure whatever you have going on is inherently more important.’ You said, feeling more hurt than anything as you clenched your jaw to stop yourself from saying something you’ll inevitably regret.

‘I’ll make it up to you-‘

‘Would you like to know how many times you claimed that you’ll make it up to me but never have?’ You asked Jason rhetorically and watched his face further become into one of guilt. ‘Three. Times.’ You told him, holding up three fingers. ‘Once is excusable, but three times Jason. I thought you were over making false promises, much like how I’d trick myself into thinking that you would actually like to spend time with me in our own apartment, but it seems like I was wrong as per usual.’ You scoffed.

Jason tried to reach out for your hand to console you, but you immediately took it away before he could and put a good deal of distance between the two of you to show that you were in need of comfort but not from him. ‘Y/n, I’m sorry-‘

‘Don’t bother. Just make sure to have your keys on you before you leave because I wont stay up for you anymore.’ Was all you said before leaving the room to go into your room, where you’d stay until he left for the night doing god knows what. His disappearing act didn’t bother you at first but when it become more frequent and grew more obstructive when you wanted to spend the night with him, a pit in your stomach grew and it had been growing ever since followed by thoughts that doubted Jason’s loyalty to you.

Were you boring him but he didn’t have the heart to tell you? Is that why he’s been disappearing almost every night or so? Just so he could meet up with someone else behind your back and shit talk you? If that was the case then he could stay out for all you cared, you’ve given him your heart but it didn’t seem as though he couldn’t bring himself to even fake in giving a shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile Jason felt like the biggest dickhead ever. He could tell that you were reaching the end of your rope with him and he wasn’t so sure that he could go back to living by himself if you were to ever leave him, he could try but it wouldn’t be the same when you were the reason his apartment felt like an apartment at all. And yet he has no one else to blame for this but himself.

He was the reason you could’ve have a simple date night at home.

He was the reason for your frequent disappointment.

He was the reason you no longer felt loved by him but that just wasn’t true. Jason loved you so much it physically hurt and scared the poor man of what he was willing to do for you. Jason’s love for you burned him in the most delicious way imaginable, he was left wanting for more, hooked on your love as though it was an easily addictive drug sweeping the streets of Gotham. However even Jason couldn’t ignore the wedge between him and you, a wedge that only seemed to get worse the more Jason bailed on you for his vigilante business.

As he was sulking in the fact that this might be the end of your relationship, Jason got a text from Dick asking where he was and all Jason could think of whilst grabbing his keys and leaving the apartment, was how he was going to make up for every night that you felt as though you were abandoned by him; and if anyone who knew Jason best knew he was anything but a quitter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Movie night was depressing as shit when you were having it all by yourself as a way to cope with the fact that you might not be enough to keep Jason interested.

You were bundled up in bed, hugging your childhood plushie tightly against your chest as you watched a movie adaptation to one of Jason’s most favoured book out of Jane Austen‘s body of work. Hell most of the movies you’ve picked out were based on Jason’s favourite author but you weren’t enjoying it as you would if he was beside you, muttering the lines alongside the characters under his breath as he held you against his chest as though you were something precious; even going so far at to using the excuse that when a kissing scene happens you should be kissing too for a more immersive experience.

He was such a dork but he was your dork and now it feels as though he didn’t want to be called yours anymore.

You didn’t know what it was that you did for him to get bored of you but it hurt like a motherfucker and the more you thought about it the more your eyes began to well up with unshed tears. ‘What am I doing wrong snuffles?’ You brought your plushie to face you with its beady button eyes. ‘Am I really that much of a bore that he can’t bring himself to just end it? What does he get out of dragging me along? Is this some sick joke to him?’ You asked and you asked but got no response, then again that’s what you get when trying to seek answers from a weighted plushie.

‘Who am I kidding.’ You uttered defeatedly as you put down your plushie, switched off the tv after seeing that there was no point in having it on in the first place, and stared up at the ceiling as you tried to will sleep to hurry up and claim you. ‘Did you know that I was planning on telling him that I loved him?’ You asked aloud for no one in particular, smiling weakly as you wiped your eyes. ‘How stupid was it of me to think that we’d ever last. He’s obviously found someone else who doesn’t bore him as easily as I do…so why should I stay?’ You felt yourself wanting to cry again but you were too tired to give your body what it wants and tried to ignore the lump in your throat by forcing your eyes shut.

*knock, knock, knock*

[ox-imagines]

Tokyo Debunker as Romance Tropes

Feel free to ask me to write a longer imagine/oneshot for any of these!

Pt. 2 | Vagastrom

Pt. 1 | Pt. 3 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | Pt. 6 | Pt. 7

Alan - Bodyguard

Almost everywhere you go, you have a detail of bodyguards, protecting you from harm and prying eyes. As such, one of them is almost always with you to ensure your safety, and it’s often your personal favorite. Alan doesn’t even realize he’s your favorite, he just thinks it’s him because he’s the strongest and most vigilant. One night while he’s standing guard outside your door, you ask him to come in your room, insisting that it’s warmer there than in the hallway and at least he could sit while watching you. Reluctantly, he agrees. He starts to sit in a chair, but you grab his hand, tugging him gently over to sit on your bed while you slept. He still isn’t aware of your feelings for him, but now he’s got some of his own that he’s not quite sure what to do with.

“This is unprofessional… are you sure this is ok? Fine, you’re the boss…”

Sho - Enemies to Lovers

At first, Sho comes off as indifferent, directionless, and a bit cold. His attitude bothers you so much, but you’re given an assignment you’re partnered for. He’ll disagree with you about almost anything, but won’t even actually fight you on it, which is honestly worse. If he doesn’t like what you want to do, why doesn’t he suggest something he wants to do? His apathy brings out the worst in you and eventually he does snap, yelling back at you about how obnoxious it is to try and work with you and he wishes you’d just finish the assignment yourself if you didn’t actually want his input. The argument somehow ends in a very heated makeout session, after which he seems at least a little more invested and agreeable about how to do your assignment.

“Why should I give a fuck? Just do it yourself if you care so much instead of getting on my case for not caring! We can’t all be perfe- …oh. Shit, what, what are you doing…?”

Leo - Fake Relationship

Leo was kind of a friend of yours; you had a family wedding coming up and had recently led your family to believe you had a boyfriend, and unfortunately your other friends were busy that weekend. You asked Leo, and first he laughed at you, but then he decided it might be a good ‘marketing ploy’ to act like your boyfriend and promote himself to all the other wedding attendees. He acts caring around others but is still merciless towards you whenever you’re alone about how ‘funny’ it is you were so desperate you had to ask him of all people. He notices though that your family doesn’t seem to like you much, giving you underhanded compliments and sideways comments all night, and you take it like it’s nothing but he notices the way your eyes waver. It resonates with some part of him he thought he’d cut himself off from, and by the end of the night he’s not teasing you anymore and his arm around your waist feels a bit more sincere.

“I know your mom didn’t like the dress you picked, but for what it’s worth, I think you look good enough to even put on my SNS. I bet my followers would go crazy if I posted you looking like this.”

[lonelystarrs]

English Jewel

Everything was going great for Reo -he got his treasure back and playing with him in England together like they promised. He had Nagi all to himself again -until you came along, Nagi’s English Jewel. Nagi had no experience in relationships or girls so Reo thought until he crashed at your place after a night out.

Blue Lock Nagi Seishiro x FemReader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI aged up 20+ reo & nagi three years into Manshine contract in England • Handjobs (male receiving) • smut • fluff •

Nagi had no idea moving to England would change his life as drastically as it did. Packing was a hassle, moving into new accommodation was a bother, adjusting to new time zones was a drag. But it was all worth it for his pursuit in soccer, he’d never felt so enthusiastic for something in his life.. He enjoyed the company too, not feeling so abandoned by his parents anymore.

Reo was happy because their promise was kept, Nagi’s enthusiasm for soccer had intensified and playing alongside his treasure was all Reo could have dreamed of happening at this point.

It was all finally going his way, 3 years into their contract with Manshine taking the boys into their early 20’s.

It was great for both, not so much for Reo when Nagi met you.

Yeah, when Reo’s little treasure met his own thing to awe at, that being you who adopted the title of Seishiro’s little English jewel.

Reo thought it would fizzle out quickly because Nagi had no experience with girls or relationships, it would all be too much of a bother because relationships required effort and consistency. Something Nagi struggled with on a daily basis for basic life functions for himself, let alone another.

He didn’t like his spare time taken up, he wanted time to play video games, watch videos and just play soccer so that left him short on time for himself. Why would he waste more time on a girl, especially when he was soaring in his career so early on?

Nagi never took interest in anyone back in Japan, unless they were a virtual being on his screen he found no interest in real things. -oh maybe Choki, who he actually brought over to England with him.

Nagi only bothered with things that sparked him, that made him want to put effort in.

Unfortunately for Reo, into you his friend was. Scarily so for someone who had no experience in relationships.

“What do boyfriends do, Reo?”

“What are girls laughing about when they say guys can’t find it?”

“Uh, have you had sex yet Reo?”

Nagi wasn’t just a virgin in a sexual sense, but a complete virgin when it came to relationships in general. Nagi being Nagi though started acing everything without much effort, quickly becoming a great boyfriend like it was second nature. But how he had got to his 20’s without so much as even kissing a girl Reo didn’t understand.

So how did Reo end up in this situation now? Nagi going from a questioning virgin and asking him for advice a few months ago to listening to you almost bullying his friend sexually and Nagi enjoying it. Reo was pretending to be asleep on the giant sofa across from you guys from a night out, after a successful soccer win for their team.

You had turned up to the celebration party after, Nagi invited you without even saying anything.

Drinks were had until drunk and both boys ending up back at your place, you offered because it was closest and happy to accommodate. Reo not expecting to pull up to some fancy, huge English estate.

“S-shit pretty. It feels good.”

“Shhh, Sei you’re gonna wake up Reo.”

The sound was unmistakable coming from across the room, Nagi’s little pants and groans, you cooing in his ear to encourage him.

Your hand pressed into his hair, nibbling on his ear and using your tongue on his neck. Nagi’s face was buried into your neck, groaning as he rolled his hips, hard cock pressing against you through both your clothes.

“Wanna feel you, can I just put it in now?”

“Nagi don’t say it like that and Reo is there -no!”

“What a drag,”

He sighed heavily in frustration biting at him, his cock resting hard against his joggers, tip leaky and throbbing. You were caged under him on the sofa, after crashing here and squishing you under him Nagi awoke a few hours later and started to grind on you eventually waking you up. Bed humping had become something of a thing for him over the years, it was comfy, warm and he barely had to move -but having you under him now changed that dramatically. Humping you was much preferred.

He’d been chasing for release but couldn’t get it like this, it was becoming painful behind his joggers and he was sure he’d leaked through them at this point. He was sweaty and bothered, frustrated on not finding that high he was seeking.

He leaned onto one arm to pull his shirt up, holding the hem between his teeth to keep it out the way, then reaching back down and pull his joggers down to release his cock, slapping against his abdomen he sighed in relief at the cool air hitting it.

He muffled a little groan from the shirt in his mouth, eyes closing before meeting yours again. You laughed and pulled the material from his mouth tucking it into the collar to stay up.

“Can you get it wet for me Sei~?” You sang

“You just said no, so not really.”

You rolled your eyes flicking his forehead.

“Stop being spoilt. Use your head you genius.”

Nagi sighed, mumbling under his breath before he leaned back, gathering enough spit on his tongue before releasing it to land on his dick. He looked up to you as you smirked and reached out, his stomach clenching and dick flexing in your hand as a surprised groan left him.

“S’sensitive be nice,” he whined at you before leaning forward again planting his elbows either side of your head to hover over you, caging you under him again. Snowy white hair falling framing his face as he looked down at you, the dull light from the loom was breaking through one of the curtains and he could just see you.

“Move your hips Nagi.”

“Huh?”

“Like you’re fucking me, use my hand.”

“You’re not gonna do it for me? What a hassle.”

You snorted a laugh before running your hand over his tip, smearing the precum and spit over the head causing his hips jolted forward and an airy moan left him.

“Ngh -yeah like that pretty, d-don’t stop.”

“You’re so long Sei, you’re not gonna fit in me.”

You rolled your hand down feeling the length of him, pulling the skin down and back over his head before setting a pace. His hips started to move sloppily to chase you and his high, his mouth ajar as little pants of breath left him.

You could see in the darkness the pink tint over his nose and cheeks, his eyes half hooded and glazed as you took him to a place he’d not quite been before. The frustration finally feeling like it was breaking as he fucked into your hand, the way his hips rolled had you moaning into his neck with your tongue against his skin.

“I’m gonna- pretty I think I’m-“

“You gonna cum Sei?” He nodded his head, dropping his face to bury in your neck his weight preventing you from keeping your pace and stroking his cock, he flexed in your hand as he took it upon himself to get to the finish line. His hands gripped the cushions above you as he set a brutal pace you didn’t know Nagi had in him. He was actually pressing you into the sofa as he started rutting with his hips aggressively, it caught you by surprise compared to his usual lazy attitude and movement. God if he was gonna fuck you like that you’d melt under him, he was so needy and desperate yet held this air of dominance about him that lay beneath it all.

“Grip it tighter,”

Rolling his hips as his wet dick fucked into your hand, grip tightened from the space of his stomach and yours sandwiching him.

“Shitshit- cummin’ pretty, I’m cumming.”

He hardened in your hand, groaning against your neck as his hips stuttered forward his stomach twitching as he tried to keep thrusting, the spasms went through his body as he spilled onto your hand and stomach.

“Such a good boy Nagi~”

He moaned against you as your hand moved, using his cum to aid your stroking and a whiny moan left him.

“N-No don’t, s’sensitve. Don’t be mean- Hah- pretty please don-“

Your other hand ran through hair as he went to try pull away from you, his hips rising but your hand gripped in his hair stopping him from pulling away.

“Sorry Sei, m’not done.”

Another whiny moan left him as you focused your palm on his head rolling it over, wet with cum and spit he struggled to keep still, hips rolling uncontrollably as you kept up a pace.

His eyes widened as he looked down to watch your hand, drool leaving the side of his mouth as he left it ajar slightly, he watched your hand coated in his cum and using it to drive him into overstimulation.

“Feels like m’gonna cum again,”

“Yeah?”

He nodded dumbly, as his body started to protest on its own against you over stimulating him. He bucked, rolled and twitched his hips, doing anything he could but unable to pull away at the same time. It was torture but feeling so close to cumming again was making him push through it, just about.

“Ye- pretty I’m gonna-“

Nagi didn’t finish, he groaned so loudly you had to clamp your hand that was in his hair across his mouth. His eyes rolled back as he recoiled his body but you didn’t release him, hands digging into the sofa either side of your hips shooting another load up as his hips moved for you, his thrusting was sloppy and stuttered.

He pulled your hand away before leaning back over you, his arms shaking slightly as he panted through his nose above you.

You removed your hand and rose it to your mouth, tongue leaving to let him watch you clean your hand up. Nagi’s eyes were blown watching you clean his cum from your hands as the buzz vibrates through his body, his cock still hard and twitching at what he just went through. His body was humming and he suddenly felt exhausted as his high left him.

He looked down at the mess on both your stomachs and sighed.

“S’messy, what a hassle.”

You shrugged and followed his eyes.

“Get up, we’ll go shower.”

Nagi groaned again and slumped forward onto you, the warm sticky mess between you made your nose scrunch at the feel of it.

“Get up fatty!” You hissed, still whispering as to not try to wake Reo.

“M’not fat.” Nagi pouted in a whiny tone “-take that back.”

Unknown to you both Reo was laying flat on his back staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, a raging hard on resting against his stomach and trying to not make a move hoping you’d both still think he was asleep.

That was the last fucking time he was crashing anywhere with you both.

© pharix 2023 permission is not given to repost, translate or post anywhere else.

[b1mbodoll]

hi sweetie! ill kill every mean anon🫶 hope ur doing okay ><

thinking about the hyungs trying to get won in no nut november and hes just like “i am not doing that shit when i have a hot gf go die”😭like sorry that man gets obsessed with u and u cant convince me otherwise!! dancers hips and stamina too u dont stand a chance 🤭

pairings: yang jungwon x f! reader

warnings: silliness + no nut november + creampies + praise + breeding + pregnancy ment ?

💌: thank u for defending my honor, lovebug <3 and thx to u im havin so many NNN ideas T_T help

thinkin’ about you challenging wonie to hold out for no nut november ‘nd he can’t believe his ears like !!! you expect him to hold out for a whole MONTH?? he’s so infatuated with you he can’t go a day without burying his cock ballsdeep in your cunt <3

but you have him wrapped around your pinkie so he decides to try for you! he’s so dramatic n down so bad, he’s at the gates of hell 😭 texts you every day begging for spare pussy bc he’s a weak man! and you know he loves stuffing you full of his cum n breeding you, so you just tell him to wait n that it’ll be worth it because he’s saving his cum for u and it’ll “def be a thick load, wonie!” n the giddiness in your voice at the thought of him knockin’ you up nearly makes him cum </3 but he holds off for you !!!

well he tries to. at day 15 jungwon starts getting too handsy after seeing you walk around in nothing but one of his oversized shirts and panties, pawing at your tits and pulling you on his lap whenever you walk by him, grinding his clothed cock against you and moaning at the stimulation. his voice is whiney and breathy and so sexy, you can’t deny him any longer.

he doesn’t even bother going to your bedroom, he just lays you beneath him on the couch, hands clumsy as he undresses himself and tears your panties off, cock leaking so much precum it leaves a wet sheen on his length. wonie slips his dick inside too quickly and it makes you hiss, his thick cock stretching you out nicely after being empty for so long. “fuck, i missed this pretty pussy,” he groans, dizzy at the feeling of your tight cunt sucking him in greedily. “don’t know how you expected me to hold off for a month, i can’t live without this.”

his praises make your tummy flutter and he’s so pussydrunk they come out like word vomit, his eyes squeezed shut as his pace becomes sloppy, not even pulling out all the way anymore, just grinding his hips into yours while continuing to moan out sweet words.

“so fucking wet, your poor cunt missed me too, huh? missed me fuckin’ my cum into your womb and breeding you? ‘m so close, princess — oh god — need to fuck a baby into you.”

jungwon thrusts into you one last time before his orgasm washes over him, the feeling of his hot cum shooting directly into your womb causing your own climax, shaking and whining as he fucks you through it. he cums so much it feels neverending, painting your innerwalls a creamy white.

you were right, his first load after weeks of not cumming is so insanely thick it spills out of you as soon as he pulls out, globs of his seed making a mess of your cunt and it’s quite a sight, making wonie’s cock twitch.

[anadiasmount]

being at a party w boyfie jude and u run into ur ex who still thinks they have a chance and jude puts him his place 🤭🤭🤭

“swear to god if he keeps sending drinks to you-” jude curses, sending daggers to your ex boyfriend across the room. your ex had been sending your favorite drink for the last few hours and it was pissing jude off. making a scene in front of everyone by pulling you into his lap and giving you messy kisses.

he got to the point where he even crawled you to the dance floor and made it known who and what he meant to you. “relax jude, he’s just trying to make you mad and you’re letting him,” you reassure leaning down to place a kiss on his lips, seeing a frown form on his face.

“i don’t like it. he clearly knows your taken? can’t he see the promise ring, and you on me? if he sends one more drink over i’ll throw it on his face,” jude warns making you roll your eyes playfully. “you won’t.”

“watch me,” jude tried to stand up but you refused, telling him it wasn’t the right time or place for a scandal. “stop it. it’s not worth it. what are you going to gain out of it?”

“y/n. the fact he’s here alone is irritating the fuck out of me. who the fuck does he think he is?” jude extends his hand out when he talks, his brows furrowed and eyes squinted, clearly pissed off and jealous. “do you want to go?” you softly ask, knowing it was bothering your agitated boyfriend.

“no baby. i wanna stay, i won’t let him get to me anymore,” he ushers you, pulling you closer into his lap, his hand on the side of your thigh, peppering kisses on your shoulder. “what did you even see in him?”

you giggle, “you know what i can’t even tell you because i don’t even know.”

time passed and he stopped sending drinks over, you had excused yourself to go to the restroom, jude giving you a messy kiss and smirking as your ex saw the whole thing. jude looked around lost in the club, people watching as it became a thing for him since he met you.

he quickly stood up ignoring the pleads and voices to sit down and let it be, watching your ex get near the booth y’all we’re in, holding your favorite drink. “go. get out,” jude pointed to leave with a angry look on his face.

your ex laughed, swirling the straw around before handing over the drink to jude, who crossed his arms, and angry look on his face. “gives this to y/n for me, looks like she’ll need it after all that show you put on,” he says making jude clench his jaw. “did you know it was her favorite? oh god she would make me order this all the time when we went out!”

“such a pretty girl. the way she laughs, talks, shit even that sexy walk she has drives me insane,” your ex said with a ‘phew’ at the end, making jude’s palms twitch in jealousy, almost punching him to shut up.

“she used to beg for it-” jude quickly cut him off, his face inches away from his scowling, making your ex smirk. “go away. leave us alone,” jude tried to control his anger but it was becoming difficult. “she’s with me now. she doesn’t have to ask or beg, she knows what she wants and how to get it. she’s my girlfriend, the one you lost to some bimbo who clearly carried something,” jude spits out in fury.

you laughed walking back to the booth, your friend stopping midway as she looks straight ahead. jude holding your poor ex by his shirt clearly yelling at him as your ex struggled to pull away. you huff and roll your eyes, knowing he wouldn’t drop it.

jude’s friends tried to intervene, but knowing how short tempered he was it was hard. “stay the fuck away from us and especially her. if i even see you standing close or hear you’ve been seen with her, i’ll make sure everyone knows the type of person you are and what you carry,” jude threatened letting your ex go.

“fuck you and your bitch,” your ex exhaled patting down his shirt that had your drink spilled on him. “jude drop it,” he heard the commotion around him, getting pulled back immediately. he lost sight immediately of his, removing his friends hold on him, “let me go”.

you watched with an amused look, leaning on the wall with a bottled water in your hand. jude coming over to you as if nothing happened, “really?”

“i wasn’t going to sit there and pretend like he didn’t exist. he was asking for it and the nerve to come to our table with him yapping? no i wasn’t going to let it go,” jude defend himself, grabbing your hand and walking you out to a small private patio in the back. “what did you say to him?”

“doesn’t matter… i put him in his place. he will know not to come around anymore.”

[kamotecue]

how could you do this, babe? ★ k. mccabe

pairing: katie mccabe x reader

summary: you never actually thought that the one thing you didn’t want to happen—well, happened. dutch!reader

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

you hated the thought of being cheated on—it was something you didn’t want to happen. little did you know it did.

you just came home from work, the shared apartment was quiet. there were lights turned on, and clothes were scattered all over.

you grimaced at the sight, but the thought of katie cheating was still on your mind. you contemplated whether to confront or to just leave—so you did what anyone probably would’ve done.

“katie?” you asked, not receiving a reply you took a deep breathe and held the door knob. the fear of being cheated on—wasn’t just a fear. you saw your mother experience it, the way your family either cheated or had been cheated on.

you slowly opened the door to see katie sitting on the shared bed, her top was removed as you noticed the other party. she had her lips on your lover’s neck as you felt your jaw clenched.

“holy shit.” the girl said, as she scrambled to cover herself up. katie gazed at you, the hallway light illuminated the dark bedroom. her face was very guilt-ridden as you scoffed.

“i guess we are done here.” you had a monotone voice, as you threw your keys on the bed. it was maddening, you told her about this.

the night you officially became a couple, you were vulnerable in her arms. you had trusted her with the biggest fear, and she broke it.

you felt someone grab your hand, as you yanked your hand away. you saw katie who had her shirt on, there were marks all over her neck as you held a glare in your eyes.

“i can explain-“ katie said, as you swirled your tongue around the mouth.

“don’t bother, katie. good night.” you said, as you turned to leave, but she had scoffed.

“you think i wanted this to happen?” you turned back only to see her arms crossed.

“no, you don’t get to pull that on me, mccabe. i never thought you would do this, but clearly i was wrong.” you watched as she winced at your harshness. the door opened to see the girl fully dressed, you clenched a fist, clearly irritated at this.

“leave.” katie said, as she walked past the two of you, quickly shuffling out the door.

“we need to talk about us-“

“is there even an us anymore? you did the one thing that i begged you not to.” katie uncrossed her arms, as she sighed in frustration.

“i’m sorry.” you watched as she looked at the floor.

“that’s it?“ you knew your voice broke, as you tried so hard not to cry.

“was it worth it?” she threw years down the drain, and when she didn’t look you in the eyes. you scoffed before throwing her your keychain that she gave you.

you had turned around, slamming the apartment door. you rushed through the hallways, not wanting to slow down because you knew she’d come after you.

and if she caught up, you knew you wouldn’t leave. how could you? she had gave you a reason to walk away, it wasn’t like she was holding you hostage. but you could’ve stayed because you loved her.

it was literally late at night when viv had gotten the call from you, ever since you played on the national team, the two of you were like two peas in a pod.

“rustig aan, ik kan je niet horen. [calm down, i can’t hear you.]” viv’s calm voice was heard on the other end. she had a finger over her ear, as she tried to hear what you were saying.

“ze heeft mij bedrogen! [she cheated on me!]” your voice was slurred, but she understood it. her eyes widened as she sat up from her bed, beth looked at her girlfriend in confusion.

“ben je dronken? waar ben je. [are you drunk? where are you?]” you looked around, the music was going throughout the room. you had a half filled glass in your hands, it was whiskey.

“in een bar vlakbij het appartement zou je het kunnen opmerken. [in a bar near the apartment, you might notice it.]” you heard viv mutter a few words, as you hummed.

“oké, blijf daar. beth en ik komen je halen. [okay, stay there. beth and i are coming to get you.]” you heard viv say, before the call had ended. you felt your eyes closing, as you gently placed the glass on the table.

you didn’t notice how concerned your teammates looked, you never drank. you were always the designated driver, you stayed away from alcohol as you saw what it could do to people.

the next day, you woke up with an absolute headache. you opened your eyes to see yourself in the guest bedroom.

a glass of water and two pills of advil were seen on the bedside table, you quickly took it before slipping through the sheets.

you heard someone hummed, as you were closer to the kitchen. it was beth who cooking, you were looking for viv but she was already starting at you.

“wil me vertellen wat er is gebeurd? [want to tell me what happened?]” viv asked, as beth looked at the hallway, seeing you a bit shy as you probably interrupted their night.

“ik vond haar in ons gedeelde bed, met een meisje—haar lippen lagen op haar nek. [i found her in our shared bed with a girl—her lips were on her neck.]” you watched as viv’s eyes widened, she accidentally slammed a fist on the counter top grabbing the attention of beth.

you had a deep conversation, beth was hugging viv in order to comfort her, as she was in disbelief her irish club teammate had treated you like this. but you had gazed at the way she looked at viv with so much love, it was something you wanted.

either way, she supported your decision. you had bid goodbye. you were sitting at the window seat of the plane, looking out of the window. the night sky was present, as you heard your phone dinged.

it was a instagram notification, confirming your transfer to lyon.

[fastbrother]

Desperate (M, 1.3k words)

For forty-one-year-old Draco Malfoy starting his twenty-fourth year of unemployment, the only interesting question is who is he going to sleep with next.

Tags: From Sex to Love, Grumpy Harry, Reclusive Harry, Slutty Draco (non-derogatory), unhealthy coping mechanisms, middle-aged Drarry

Author's note: Wrote this for @kamaela's birthday. Thank you for always being so kind and encouraging! 💕

* * *

For eleven-year-old Draco Malfoy starting Hogwarts, the only interesting question about school was who was going to come in second in his year. Imagine his surprise.

For forty-one-year-old Draco Malfoy starting his twenty-fourth year of unemployment, the only interesting question is who is he going to sleep with next.

Some days, it feels like he’s slept with everybody worth sleeping with. Other days—well.

* * *

When he was young, Draco Malfoy thought he liked women. He slept with a handful of girls, all very proper and sweet.

Then the war came, and he was in it, and he was tortured by the Dark Lord himself, which rewired his brain somehow, because after the war Draco Malfoy did not like women anymore. Nor anything proper. Or sweet.

Draco Malfoy liked to be fucked like he’d be murdered next.

* * *

Harry Potter is a big old grump. He lives in what should have been Draco’s house by birthright, nurses a terrifying beard currently in the process of turning grey, and only ever goes out in Muggle London, like the uncivilised brute Draco knows he really is. Draco dreams of being fucked by Harry Potter, the saviour of the wizarding world, the slayer of Dark Lords. And whatever rude people say, Draco’s a man who works for his dreams.

* * *

“Harry Potter. Out and about. What a surprise.”

Potter barely spares a glance for poor Draco. His eyes are glued to the Muggle TV above the bar, in the process of broadcasting some beastly excuse for movement that the Muggles call sports. There are five empty glasses in front of him, and a cigarette dangling out of his mouth.

“Fuck right off, Malfoy.”

“Ah, I’m afraid not,” Draco says, and sits on the barstool next to Harry. “You go, if my presence bothers you so.”

“I don’t give a shit about your presence.”

“Beautiful. Have you taken to writing poetry, by any chance?”

“Tell me, Malfoy,” Potter says, slowly turning those grotesquely green eyes towards him. “You look like someone who makes enemies in every room he walks into. How come you’re still alive?”

“I have my ways.”

“Aha,” Potter says, emptying his sixth glass of whiskey, eyes back on the TV. “I’ve heard about your ways.”

“Would you like some first-hand experience with them?”

Potter lets out a chuckle, a loud and brutish sound.

“Have you been following me?”

“Hardly. I’ve been coming here every night for six months. Ask Robert.”

“Who’s Robert?”

“I’m Robert,” the barman says, pouring Potter’s seventh drink.

“Ah. Nice to meet you, Robert,” Potter says, and raises his drink. “So. Has he?”

“Yes.”

Potter turns to Draco. Offers a vicious smile that makes Draco’s body tingle in all the right places.

“I used to come here all the time. Before the Prophet published a photo of me. Six months ago.”

Draco shrugs. “Can’t a boy try his luck?”

Potter leans forward and pulls Draco’s stool closer to him.

“You’re no boy. You’re a slut.”

“Oh, yes,” Draco moans, biting his lip. “I am. I’m a bad, bad slut.”

* * *

Harry Potter fucks like he goes to war. There’s no fear there, no second guessing. Draco could die now, bent over a dirty sink in a dingy Muggle bar, and he’d be happy. He should die, actually, because what else is there to experience? He has peaked, and life can only be a disappointment from this point on.

“Please,” he begs when all is done. “Again.”

“You make a compelling argument,” Potter says, pulling up his pants. “But there are people queuing outside.”

“I’ll get rid of them. I’ll kill them. Nobody will miss them too much, I’m sure.”

“How about this,” Potter says, fixing his hair back in a ponytail. “You keep coming here every night for another six months, and maybe I’ll drop by again.”

“Don’t play with me, Potter. You know I will.”

“Oh, I know.”

* * *

Draco expects Potter to torture him for at least a couple of weeks, but he strolls into that cursed Muggle pub the next day. He’s wearing jeans and a ripped t-shirt. Truly living up to his reputation of decorated ex-Auror and beloved hero, this one.

“My, my,” he says, sitting next to Draco and gesturing to Robert for a drink. “What a good pet.”

“Aha,” Draco says, draping himself all over Potter’s offensively attractive attire.

“Let me get a drink in me first,” Potter says, struggling to keep Draco at arm’s length.

“If you wanted a drink, you could have gone to another pub.”

* * *

Robert bans them eventually. Draco’s about to Obliviate him but Potter solves the issue by inviting him to his house.

“You mean, my house,” Draco corrects him.

Potter doesn’t seem impressed. “How about we call it a night, then.”

“Fine. I relinquish all rights to that home. You can have it forever. You can have the Manor, too, if you want.”

Potter laughs, and grabs Draco’s arm. “I love how desperate you are.”

“Oh, I’m desperate, alright.”

Five minutes later, Draco’s thirst is finally quenched when Potter bends him over a Black encrusted dining room table. Draco discovers he has quite the taste for family intrusions.

“In front of my great-grandmother’s portrait next, please,” he begs. Potter, the charitable soul he is, complies. Predictably, his great-grandmother calls Potter Muggle-loving filth.

“He is, granny,” Draco moans, face squished against some dusty yet tasteful wallpaper. “He’s the filthiest person that’s ever lived.”

* * *

“Are you some form of house pest? A Black family curse? Why can’t I get rid of you?” Potter says when Draco shows up on his doorstep, carrying a bottle of wine and appetisers as any man of the world would.

“Get rid of me, then,” Draco says, and walks in.

* * *

Potter is on an agenda to steal Draco’s elves and have them clean his shithole of a house. It’s the only reasonable explanation for why he’s taken to drinking with them.

“Stop entertaining the staff. You should be entertaining the Master. And there’s no smoking in the sunroom.”

“There is, now,” Potter says, lighting up a second cigarette with his wand. “There’s a new Master around here.”

“Master Potter,” the elves say in unison, drunk on the Butterbeer Draco keeps for his nephew.

* * *

It’s all fun and games until Draco catches feelings.

“I’m sick,” he tells anybody who cares to listen, and also those who don’t. “Je suis gravement malade.”

“Pull down the shades,” he tells the house elves from under the heavy duvet. “Owl the Healer.”

“Maybe Master Malfoy should tell Master Potter how he feels.”

“Clothes! Somebody bring clothes!”

* * *

“I heard through the grapevine that you’ve fallen ill.”

Draco peeks at Potter from under his duvet.

“It’s true. I’m dying.”

The bed jounces when Potter sits down next to him. He puts a hand on Draco’s un-feverish forehead.

“It sure looks like it.”

“I just want you to know, I lied about the Manor. I’m leaving everything to my elves.”

Potter’s hand moves down Draco’s face.

“Where have you been? I’ve missed you.”

“You have?” Draco says, his illness intensifying.

“Yes.”

“I thought I was a curse you couldn’t get rid of.”

“You are. You’ve been slacking on the job lately.

Something sharp rattles in Draco’s chest. He moves away from Potter’s touch, and hides under the duvet.

“Hey,” Potter says, leaning until his hand finds Draco’s waist through the thick material. “What happened?”

Silence.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Slowly, Draco shakes his head under the duvet.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Draco nods.

Draco hears ruffling and squeaking, and then Potter gets under the duvet. He’s hot, like a cat.

“Where did all your eloquence go?” Potter says, gathering him in his arms. “What happened to all your fancy words?”

Draco buries his head in Potter’s chest. Takes a deep breath.

“I turn stupid when I’m in love. It’s a debilitating illness.”

“You’re a debilitating illness,” Potter says, and kisses his forehead. “And I’m chronically ill.”

[mediumgayitalian]

“Am I hurting you?”

“No.”

Will hums, flicking his focus away from his work for a moment, eyes narrowed.

“If you’re sure. Tell me if you need a break.”

Nico says nothing. When the prick of the suture needle drags through his inflamed, torn skin, pain pushing through the numbing cream, he grits his teeth and stays still. Will notices anyway.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, brushing a gentle finger along his cheek. “Three stitches left, and then we’re done, promise.” He frowns. “It’s gonna scar, though.”

Nico huffs bitterly, careful not to move his face too much, careful to keep his eyes blank and trained forward.

“Whatever. Can’t make me look worse than I already do.”

He bites his tongue, furious with himself. He doesn’t care about a stupid scar. He has more of them than he can count. He doesn’t even count them anymore, doesn’t even bother. Werewolf scratches? Whatever. Monster in the woods leaves a gash on his leg? A little bit of nectar and a bandage, he’s out of the infirmary in an hour, the bandage staying on for even less time. Spattering burns from the lava wall? Not even worth a hummed note from a busy Kayla. He’s a patchwork, and he doesn’t have the time nor freedom to give a shit. This is his life, this is all demigods’ lives.

…He’s never scarred his face before, though.

The hellhound had caught him off guard. He’d been — distracted, stupidly, walking through the wood with his head in the clouds. It had snuck up on him, scratched him from temple to cheek before he could blink. He’s damn lucky he didn’t lose his eye.

The snip of the medical scissors startles him, eyes flicking to Will’s face on reflex. There’s a wrinkle in the space between his eyebrows, tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth. Nico can smell the pungent salve, eucalyptus and lavender and something else he doesn’t recognise. It tickles pleasantly as Will spreads it gently over his red, torn, inflamed skin. He presses a cotton pad to Nico’s eye in silence, guiding his hand to hold it while he wraps it around Nico’s head.

The medic makes a little humming noise as he pulls away, tilting Nico’s head left to right as he inspects his work. Clearly satisfied, he nods, then busies himself with removing his gloves and organizing his suture set. Nico slides off the bed and walks over to the little square mirror on the infirmary wall, next to the nurse’s station. He looks quickly around, checking that the infirmary is empty — except for Will, it is — and then squares himself in front of it, examining himself critically.

It could be worse.

The first thing he notices is how stark the sterile bandage is against his skin. He’s tanned in his time at Camp Half-Blood, obviously, endless sun and walks around camp deepening his skin back to its original shade. His hair has grown out, wavy and fine and framing his face. Freckles dot his nose. His eyes — his eye — is dark, dark, dark brown, iris barely distinguishable from pupil. His cheeks are no longer sunken (were his cheekbones always this high?) and his ears stick out a little.

He looks, to his bewilderment, like Bianca. Without the bandage on his face, and if he grew his hair out a little more, they could be — twins.

“It’s never a good thing to worry what others think,” Will muses, voice floating in the empty air. Nico startles, whirling around to face him. He slides the last sterilized instrument — tiny surgical scissors — into its case, then turns to face Nico, smile soft and eyes like clear sky. “But for what it’s worth, I’ve been crushing on you forever, and I don’t think you’re any less gorgeous. With or without the scar.”

For the split second after Will speaks, Nico’s ears ring like T.V. static. Crush. Forever. Gorgeous.

The rage bubbles up in him so quickly it burns, red-hot, sharp and painful. He recognises half of it as hurt. Another chunk as — confusion, bewilderment, childish fear.

The look on Will’s face strikes him silent before he can open his mouth to seethe.

Nico knows how to read people. He has to. He’d learnt it quickly and he’d learnt it young, because he’d be dead if he didn’t. He knows the averted eyes of insincerity, the bitten-red lips of a liar, the twisting fingers linked with a con-man’s smile.

Will carries none of them.

Apollo’s golden child, he squirms when he lies. Diverts attention when Austin asks him the last time he slept, smiles a guilty smile and changes the subject when the last pack of Twizzlers goes mysteriously missing from the Hermes’ cabin secret stash. His dishonesty is easy to read.

His smile is wide, if a little lopsided, and his too-wide eyes don’t leave Nico’s face. His hands, for once, are still.

Nico swallows.

“Stitches will be out in a week,” Will says, seemingly oblivious to Nico’s gawking. “Bandages changed twice a day. And, Nico, for Olympus’ sake —” his stare turns stern — “do not be a stranger. I’d appreciate your company. Obviously.”

He leaves Nico staring as he damn near sashays out of the Big House, humming to himself.

What in Hades.

———

part two

[vodika-vibes]

Wait holy shit, anon from 2 seconds ago, hi!, I suddenly had another alpha-17 thought, imagine comforting him after his capture by Ventress and again a few weeks later after being wounded by Grievous. He puts up an impenetrable front but behind it he’s in pain and filled with self doubt and you remind him that it’s all worth it, he’s worth it in the end.

As You Are

Summary: After being tortured by Ventress, and then badly wounded by Grievous, Alpha-17 is confined to a bed under your care. Badly injured and convinced that he’s about to be Decommissioned for being unable to continue his duties, he’s lashing out at everyone trying to help him. Luckily, you’ve never been a shrinking violet.

Pairing: Pre Alpha-17 x F!Reader

Word Count: 775

Warnings: Medical stuff, but not detailed

A/N: I'm still not sure if this was a request, but I turned it into one because it's Alpha, lol.

Click HERE to be added to my Taglist

“Doctor,” You pause, your hand hovering over the door panel to Alpha-17’s hospital room when you’re stopped by one of your nurses. She’s an older woman, much older than you, and she seems to be fretting over something.

“Something wrong?” You ask.

“It’s…well,” She motions to the door you’re about to pass through, “He’s in a foul mood.”

You arch a single brow, “Well, yes. I would be too if I had been tortured, and then badly wounded. How are his cybernetics?”

“I…well, I’m not sure. He wouldn’t let me check.”

Your other brow raises to join the first, “He wouldn’t let you.”

“No, Doctor. When I tried he snapped at me.”

“So he’s probably in pain then.”

She shrugs, “Perhaps we should leave him to the Kaminoans?”

You shoot her a look dirty enough that she flinches away from you, “Thank you, Nurse. I can take it from here.”

“Uh…Yes, doctor.” You wait until she hurries away before you type in the door code and enter the room. 

“I hear you’re terrorizing my nurses.” You announce as the door slides shut behind you, “Knock it off.”

“I don’t want your medical care.” Alpha bites out, pinning you with a fierce glare.

“Tough shit, you’re getting it anyway.” You walk over to him, and glance at the monitors to check his vitals, “How’s your pain?”

“Awful.”

“I need a number, Alpha.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Thanks, it was covered in medical school between cardiology and pulmonology.”

He shifts in the bed and winces, and you frown at him, “I’m fine.”

“Alpha, you currently have cybernetics running the length of your spine that will allow you to walk. You’re not fine.” You place a gentle hand on his shoulder, knowing that he’s going to hate it, but also knowing that he won’t lash out at you. “Let me take care of you.”

“Why bother?” He grouses, “They’re just going to decommission me.”

You sigh heavily. “They are not.”

He scowls at you, “I’ve known the longnecks my whole life—”

You hold up three fingers, “Point 1, Shaak Ti has forbidden decommissions. Point 2, even if she didn’t, the Kaminoans don’t decommission Alpha class clones. Point 3, even if you ignore those two points, they never would have allowed me to put a multi-million credit cybernetic system in you if they were going to decommission you.”

“...how many credits?”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re not paying for it.” You lightly tap his shoulder, “Anyway, will you let me take a look now?”

“I’m fine.” He repeats.

“Why are you being so difficult?”

A muscle in his jaw clenches, “What if I can’t do my job properly even with the cybernetics?”

“You will. As I understand it, Shaak Ti wants you training ARC Troopers.”

He scoffs, “So I can’t fight anymore.”

“Training the ARCs is an important job, Alpha.” You remind him, “They are the best, after all.” You step around the bed so you’re able to get a look at the cybernetics implanted in his spine.

“It’s not the same.”

“It is important though.” You lightly touch his skin and frown when you see the skin is inflamed. Quickly you put in an order for more antibiotics, and then you scan the cybernetics themselves, “Do you think lesser of Commander Colt for being an ARC trainer?”

He scoffs but doesn’t answer.

You walk back around him so that he’s facing you, “You just have to remember, this is all worth it in the end. It has to be.”

Alpha scans your face for a moment, “No one is going to thank you for this, you know that right?”

“I don’t do this for the accolades, Alpha. I do it because it’s the right thing to do.” You flash a wry smile, “Before all else, do no harm.”

Alpha sighs and sinks his head into his pillow, “I’m not worth all this.”

“You are to me.” You reach out and take his fingers in your hand and you squeeze them gently, “Will you let me help you?”

He’s quiet for a long moment, and then he squeezes your hand, “Yeah, I guess. Just you, though.”

“Spoiled.” You chide, “But fine, I’ll make a note that you refuse all medical care unless I’m the one giving it.” You untangle your hand from his and make a note in his chart, “Now. Are you in any pain?”

“Yeah, and my back feels hot.” He admits.

“Thank you, Alpha.” You turn your back to grab some pain medicine.

“I love you.” He mumbles.

“What was that?”

“I said you’re annoying.”

You laugh softly, and favor him with a warm smile, “So are you.”

@imabeautifulbutterfly @n0vqni @bad4amficideas @justiceandwar98 @Mira-Loves-Star-Wars

@tiredbi-peach @dukeoftheblackstar @trixie2023 @kimiheartblade @padawancat97

@falconfeather23435 @etod @bb8-99 @kiss-anon @continous-mistakes

@yoitsjay @liz-stat @cc--2224

[madi-writes-things]

Nobody Pt. 6

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 1,318

TW:MASSIVE WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! (TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MY WRITING IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH), Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Blood, Panic Attacks, Hurt Comfort, SUI ATTEMPT, Crying, Really Depressing, lots of POV swaps, Not Edited

A/N: Thank you for all of the support that I’ve been getting for this story, this chapter is really heavy… PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Please do not read if it will negatively impact your health, this story on tumblr is not worth it. I’ll put a brief summary at the beginning of the next chapter, for those who need to skip. This is probably the worst that it will get. Love you guys so much 🥰

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I woke up to Chris wrapped around my waist, just like I had for the last seven months. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this facade, but I also don’t know if I can let it go. The worst part is that I can’t even vent to my best friend, seeing as he is the cause of this whole situation. I stare down at Chris, his hair is so soft. I feel the burn of tears in my eyes, trying best to stop them from falling. Failing miserably.

My sniffles cause Chris’s to lift his head up to look at me. “What’s wrong?” I tell him it’s nothing, not a big deal. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, he sits up looking deep into my eyes. “You can tell me anything Y/N, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or anything.” I just cry harder. He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I burrow my face into his shoulders.

we stay like that for an indeterminate amount of time. I cry until I physically can’t anymore, Chris doesn’t make me explain myself.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I barely sleep anymore.

Y/N has been drifting away for months now, and it scares the shit out of me. I’m scared that if I fall asleep she’ll sneak past me and relapse. I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost her, I don’t know who I would be.

I’m scared to leave her alone, to the point that I don’t even want to leave her to go film with my brothers. The fans have commented on how many videos we’ve made at our house, rather than our usual car videos. I just tell Matt and Nick that I feel bad leaving her alone without us.

I knew it was a mistake to leave her alone tonight, but the fans were getting suspicious. We made the decision not to tell the fans, since we didn’t plan for this charade to go on for so long. I don’t know if I can end it, I’m too in love with her to imagine laying in an empty bed again.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV (start of the really bad stuff)

The guys left to film a car video, it’s been months since they did that. I haven’t been alone long enough to think about relapsing, but sitting alone in Chris’s room, the feeling of loneliness is crushing me.

I need to distract myself. Chris would be so disappointed in me if I didn’t, and I can’t call him while he’s recording. I’ll cook myself something for dinner, the guys will be happy to eat when they get home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Dinner came and went, and I still didn’t feel better. I was scared to call Chris, I didn’t want to bother him and his brothers. It was a mistake.

I stare down, my legs tore to shreds and the wounds on my wrists, I need help. I don’t think I really want to die, I was just overwhelmed. I can’t let them find me dead. I can’t make them hurt the same way that I have. I need to call someone.

I reach for my phone, trying desperately to open it. The blood on my hands makes everything harder, but I can’t get up to get a towel. If I stand up I’ll surely pass out. I’m already lightheaded, just hoping that Chris answers my call.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I’m laughing with my brothers and I don’t notice it at first. A small buzz in my pocket. There it is again. As soon as I pull it out I panic.

LOML 🥰 CALLING… ✅ ❎

“Guys! Stop talking real quick.” I immediately press the answer button. “Baby… is everything okay?”

No response. Fuck.

“Matt we need to go home.” He gives me a worried look, but before he can say anything I’m talking into the phone again. “Baby, I need you to talk to me… tell me everything is okay.”

there’s a second before she responds, I can tell that she’s been crying based on the sniffles from her end. “I fucked up Chris.”

My heart drops.

“go faster Matt!” Fuck. “What happened, I need you to tell me what you did!” I don’t mean to yell, but I’ve never been more scared in my life.

“I don’t want to die…” No. This isn’t real. It cant be.

“You aren’t going anywhere, I promise.” I quickly turn to nick and tell him to get 911 on speed dial. “Please just keep talking to me, I need to hear your voice.”

Matt breaks multiple laws in an attempt to get home, but I don’t notice. My whole focus is on keeping Y/N talking. When we get home we all rush upstairs.

“Nick, go sit in the loft.” He looks offended when I say it. “She wouldn’t want you to see her like this, I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I let you.” He stays where he is. “Please Nick!” My voice cracks as I say his name. He leaves with tears In his eyes.

“Matt I need you to get the first aid kit from under her bed, it should have everything I need.” With that I open the door to the bathroom.

the scene in front of me is like something straight out of a horror film. I can’t even tell where the blood is coming from. I immediately rush to her side.

“I’m so sorry… I tried to distract myself, I promise.” She’s rambling, but I don’t mind. I’m trying so hard not to cry, but she looks so pale.

“don’t apologize, I’m not mad, nobody is mad” it doesn’t stop the tears, she’s still a sobbing mess beneath me.

Matt returns with the kit, clearly distraught. “It’s okay Matt, it doesn’t look like she needs stitches.” He looks frozen in place, and his breathing is erratic. Shit. “Go sit with nick… she’s going to be okay.” After a few moments he finally pulled himself out of the doorway.

by the time I’m done cleaning her up, Y/N’s tears have dried up. “You don’t need stitches…” I stare at the deep lines that run across each wrist. “But it would make the scars smaller, do you want to go to the hospital?”

“NO!” She’s shaking her head violently. “Please don’t make me go, they’ll take me away again!” I can see the tears forming again.

“ok, we don’t have to go.” I grabs the butterfly bandages, and start pulling the skin together, before tightly wrapping it with gauze. She’s more covered in gauze wrapping than actual clothes at this point. I carry her to my room and get her changed, before taking her to the loft.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Chris changed me, being very gentle around my gauze, and then he set me down on the loft couch next to Nick and Matt. I hear him mumble something about them staying with me while he cleans up.

I can see the relief in Nicks eyes when he sees that I’m alive, Matt just locks eyes with me and leaves. I never meant to upset him, but I can’t seem to find the tears for it right now. I fall into nicks chest and he just holds me.

I tell Nick everything. The relapse. The fake dating ruse. The fact that I really do love Chris.

He just tells me that it’s okay. He promises me that he’s not mad.

Once Chris is done cleaning the bathroom floor, he takes me to lay down in his bed. He’s so gentle when he snakes his arms around me, careful not to hit my arms or legs.

“I told Nick…” he just stares into my eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to love me anymore, there’s no point in lying anymore.”

“who said I was pretending?”

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

[areyoudreaminof]

some word salad behind the cut

I never thought I’d ever get into writing. My self esteem is so minimal it’s nearly non existent, so I had never bothered to try. But I started writing last year and found I was enjoying it. I made grand plans to write more until I didn’t.

My passion became my poison, suddenly.

As I scrolled through endless fics and writers much more talented than I am, my anxiety perched itself on my shoulder like a crow and squawked in my ear.

“The shit you’re putting out? No wonder nobody is reading it. You’re writing boring stuff. Who gives a fuck about kids and one shots?” It would say. I’d reply that I didn’t want to write smut. I don’t like doing it and it felt silly.

“So why are you writing at all?” Anxiety Crow said, “That’s what people want. And you can’t even do that.”

It came to a head right before Elucien Week. Last year, I wrote three fics I am still immensely proud of. One of which opened a door for me with the first Next Gen characters I came up with. I had assumed that I’d have something else lined up for this year's Elucien Week.

But in that year, I had a lot of personal changes and mental health challenges that weren’t getting better. I made the mistake of starting a long fic and it became this beast that I couldn’t tame. Even one shots and snippets became a chore. I’d have to force myself to finish a chapter, to try and translate the images I saw in my head to paper, but it wasn’t working. This coincided with my depression peaking in early 2024, in which I got suicidal and had to seek help.

By January, I’d gotten more frustrated with my writing, by June, I despised writing in its entirety. Three days before Elucien Week was due to begin, I hovered my mouse over DELETE ACCOUNT on AO3 and nearly trashed a year worth of work. I decided to take a step back to clear my head and to put a stop to this toxic competition I had with myself. I didn’t want to lose the hobby I’d grown to love and destroy the new friendships I’d made. I was absolutely terrified of losing those wonderful friends I’ve made and I felt so guilty and angry at myself for fumbling the bag and not writing anything.

I can’t even tell you why I obsessed over it, I may never go back to writing at all, but the weight of that self hatred has eased up from my chest. It’s not eating me alive anymore. That’s not to say it’s gone of course. Just the other day I had another major moment of doubt, and nearly trashed everything, again. I’m trying to parse through my own mind constantly to sort out my own spirals and triggers. Some days it’s working, others it’s not.

I think I’m now telling you about it, because I’m sure you’re feeling it too. People reached out to me to check on me when I left and others to let me know they were having the same problems. The feelings of inferiority among fandom, the nagging expectations we placed on ourselves. Never mind any of the challenges we face in our daily lives. What’s the worth of my mental health and happiness and why the fuck do I keep measuring it like this?

Whatever comes of this break, I hope that all of us can find our self worth, wherever it is. I see so many incredible artists, writers, and people that inspire me to want to keep going. If you’re reading this, you’re one of them.

Take a breath and take a break. We’ll figure it out.

[spdrwdw]

How much for a crying absolutely depressed and stressed reader overwhelmed and just..

With a Miguel who comforts them even tho they’re failing because they know they should have done better but they were mentally in a hell hole

Like

I just need a hug

Help

(Don’t go to uni kids…)

I'm sorry you're stressed out, dear 💔 I know uni can be overwhelming and stressful. But you got this! You made it this far, I know you can keep going. Have some Miguel to give you comfort and also know that I am rooting for you! You got this! Same for anyone else who is burnt out and overwhelmed. We can get through it!

Art by onicli on twitter

Pairing: Miguel x f!reader

Warnings: none, just Miggy comforting you during a stressful time, no use of y/n

Summary: Miguel finds you stressed and depressed and tries his best to comfort you.

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist

☆*:.｡. o .｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡. o .｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡. o .｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡. o .｡.

Miguel made his way to your shared apartment after a long day of keeping the multiverse intact and anomalies at bay. It was exhausting at times. It really was. Sometimes he would regret even coming across the multiverse, however, he knew it was fate. He had to be the one to find it and keep everything in line. Plus, he had to keep you safe. You were the most important and precious thing in his life. 

Slipping in through the bedroom window, he noticed how quiet it was. Eerily quiet. But after a second of concentration, he could hear something coming from the living room. It sounded like muffled sniffles and choked sobs. His eyes widened and he immediately busted the bedroom door open, removing it from its hinges. 

You jumped up and let out a yelp in surprise before seeing your boyfriend awkwardly holding the door in his hands. 

“Muñeca?” He blinked when he took a better look at your current state. You were wrapped up in one of your warm, fuzzy blankets. Used tissues were scattered all over the couch and floor. At first, Miguel thought you were sick. But, then he saw the tears that stained your cheeks and the back and forth rocking you were doing. 

Gingerly, he placed the door against the wall.

“Baby, what’s the matter? Hmm? What’s wrong?” He asked as he made your way over to your side in an instant, scooping you up into his arms as he sat on the couch. 

“Ven. Ven aquí, muñeca,” he cooed softly just before you began to burst into tears again, hiding your face against his shoulder. 

“Shh. Shh. Hey, what is it? Why are you crying?” He asked as he rubbed your back, trying to soothe you from whatever it was that was bothering you. 

You simply shook your head as you let out broken sobs. 

“I-I can’t- I-I-I can’t do this anymore,” you choked out. 

“Can’t do what?” He asked, puzzled. At first, he wondered if it was about you two. Was there something going on between the two of you that Miguel wasn’t aware of? Was he neglecting his girlfriend? He had been rather busy these past few days. With working at Alchemax and being Spider-Man and all that jazz. Or..was there an important date that he missed? 

Shit. Was it yall’s anniversary? No. That’s next month..

 “Come on, baby. You can tell me. I’m here for you. Let me know what it is that’s bothering you.”

“I’m just so stressed out. W-with everything. I am trying, Miguel. I really am,” you sniffled. “But, I feel things have just been crumbling all around me. Failure after failure. It feels like I’m burning on fumes. 

First, it was that work assignment I had that didn’t seem to be up to my boss’s standards. I worked so hard with research for that damn thing. I stressed over that assignment! I put up with many sleepless nights due to it. And he just tossed it in the trash! Didn’t even spare a glance at it! 

And then with school. I sometimes wonder if doing grad school is worth it. Like, is it really going to benefit me? All these assignments. All that research and pages and pages of reading and writing just for the professors to glance at it for five seconds and put a big fat F on it because the topic isn’t Nobel Prize worthy or something. It’s just too much and I feel like my brain is going to explode!” You sobbed as you let out a heavy sigh, feeling the tightening in your chest constrict your breathing. 

“I just wish I could figure things out, you know? I feel like I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I don’t know who I am or want to become…and..I just want to know my place in this world.”

Miguel lightly tightened his grip around her, upset that his girl was feeling this way.

“You don’t need to figure anything out. There is nothing to figure out. You know who you are. You know your place. You’ve been working so hard to get to where you are and I am so proud of you for it, muñeca. I know things haven’t been going well, and that’s okay. It’s just a little bump in the road. That’s all. 

We all have our highs and lows. I know I do. I swear I have gray hairs now due to all the stress. But, I push through it, you know. I always see the light at the end of the tunnel.” 

Miguel continued to rub your back before tilting your head up and placed a kiss on your forehead and began to wipe your tears away.

“And I have you to anchor me. You keep me grounded and keep me sane. I push through because I know that you will always have my back and help me get back up should I fall. 

And I am here to do the same with you. I will support you. I will let you cry on my shoulder. I will pick you up when you fall. But, I won’t let you suffer with anything on your own. No matter how big or small the issue. I will be by your side.” 

You sniffled before nodding your head, closing your eyes when Miguel kissed your moist cheeks before placing soft kisses all over your face and lips. 

“I think we both could use a break. From work. From School. And from protecting the multiverse. What do you say? Let’s play hooky and do whatever we want for a day or two,” Miguel suggested, a soft smile on his face. 

“Really?” You asked him, letting out a shaky breath as you tried to calm your nerves. 

Miguel nodded his head as he scooped you back up and carried you to your shared room, settling you onto the bed. 

“Just take slow, steady breaths, baby. Everything is going to be fine and you’ll get out of this slump. Okay? Don’t stress about work. That assignment is over and done with. Move past it. And school. You got so little left to go! And in the end no one is going to care if you got an F or two. Just keep doing your best. Okay?” 

“Okay,” you nodded your head as he helped tuck you into bed before he dissolved his suit and began to get his pjs on. 

He removed his gizmo, placing it on the nightstand and turned it off. Miguel almost never turned his gizmo off, so, seeing that he did made you feel a wave of relief wash through you for a moment. At least you knew he was serious about spending the coming days with you.

As you waited for him to get ready for bed, you stared up at the ceiling, eyes glossing over with tears threatening to fall. You knew you shouldn’t be crying. There was no reason to cry. But, you just couldn’t bear another failed school assignment, or another stressful work project. You felt like a failure. Like an imposter as you try to navigate through your field of work and study. 

“Hey, hey. What did I just say, hmm? No more tears. No more worrying,” Miguel frowned when he saw your glossy eyes as he climbed into bed. 

Wrapping his strong arms around you, he pulled you close to him and peppered the crown of your head with kisses. 

“I know. I know. I just can’t keep my mind from going back to it all,” you apologized. 

“I understand.”

And Miguel did. He understood completely. He had been in those slumps many times before and he was sure he would fall into another one again eventually. But, like he had told you before, he had you to help him keep it all together. 

“Just know that I am here for you, baby. You can rant to me about anything. No worry is too big or too small. But, just know that you’re not alone. I am here. I am always going to be here.”

You nodded your head as you tried to wipe away a stray tear that had managed to fall.

“Thank you, Miguel. Really. It means a lot to me,” you told him, giving him a small smile. And it did mean a lot to you, knowing that you had him by your side to support you. Knowing that he was cheering you on. It meant a lot.

“And you can always tell me about anything, too, Miggy. While I may not understand all that multiverse jumbo, you can talk to me,” you assured him.

Miguel smiled, a slight gleam in his eyes. “I know, muñeca. I know you’re here for me. And that’s what keeps me going. Your love and your support.

Now. Let’s get some sleep, okay? Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start. Leave all that worry behind.”

“Okay,” you nodded, nuzzling yourself closer to his warmth.

"Oh..don't forget to fix the door, please," you suddenly reminded him.

Miguel let out a chuckle, tightening his grip around you a bit. "I won't baby. Promise."

His strong heartbeat began to lull you to sleep, for morning would bring you a new day with no stress. And you couldn’t wait.

☆*:.｡. o .｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡. o .｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡. o .｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡. o .｡.

[whatitshouldvebeen]

“…stops the moment being with you is more difficult than it worth…” ((this is from your post a couple days ago))

Imagine a timid, broken reader trying to win back Johnny’s affection. He’s abusive but to her its still affection he gives and she can’t live without him. She has attached herself to this killer.

“If it will make you happy… you can hit me… you can pull my hair.. or choke me… I’ll even make you feel good… just don’t stay mad…please”

Johnny Slaughter x Reader

Contains: extreme abuse, gas lighting, and the unhealthiest relationship known to man

Too Much Trouble

In the dimly lit room, Johnny's return was heralded by waves of pure hate that seemed to radiate off him.

"You stupid fucking bitch," Johnny snarled, his silhouette looming menacingly in the doorway, hands clenched into fists.

"I'm sorry!" you sobbed, collapsing to your knees with hands clasped in front of you, a desperate plea for mercy echoing in your voice, a prayer to a merciless, vindictive God.

He stood there, a simmering rage evident as his fists clenched and unfurled.

"Johnny, please don't stay mad," you pleaded, bowing your head submissively. "I'll do anything. You can hit me, choke me, or do whatever you want to me. I am so, so sorry."

"You're sorry, huh? How many fucking times have I heard that bullshit?" His open palm met your cheek with a resounding slap, reducing you to grovel at his feet, tears streaming down your face, your cheek ablaze with red.

"I don't need your permission to beat you, you little rat fuck."

"You're right, I'm sorry," you muttered, nodding erratically.

"You're gonna be sorry. This time, I'm not holding back."

His kick landed squarely in your stomach, the force sending you sprawling onto the floor, clutching your abdomen in agony.

The illusion shattered again. The happy façade crumbled, the façade you could pretend was your reality when Johnny was pleased with you, when you were perfect.

He had expected you to pack him a meal when he went out to "work," criticizing you for forgetting his snack for a week. You leaped up, ran to the kitchen, and returned with the snack, only to face his wrath.

"Just like you to be a full-blown fucking retard. Can't listen for one goddamn minute. If I wanted you to go get me a fucking snack right this second, I woulda said to do it," he complained.

"I didn't realize you'd been without one for so long, so I felt bad and wanted to fix it. I shouldn't have worried about it right now, and I'm sorry," you said, attempting to de-escalate the situation.

"Can't go a fucking week without making me explain some basic shit to you. If you thought I cared about the fucking snack, maybe ask if you should go pack it instead of running off?" he berated.

You ducked your head. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"You ain't sorry. If you were, you'd learn a goddamn thing without me needing to tell you a hundred fuckin' times," he growled.

Truthfully, you were amazed he wasn't beating you already. You peeked up at him. "I swear I'll try to ask you if something is bothering you rather than trying to fix it right away," you said, hoping it would appease him. His glare deepened.

"Always with the promises. The swears. 'Oh, I won't do it again, Johnny!'," he mocked.

You started to tremble. "I don't know what to say," you said, struggling to hold his cold gaze.

"If I gotta tell you what to say, it won't make a difference. Why the fuck do I waste my time trynna teach you any goddamn thing? You're useless, lazy, spineless, and pathetic," he spat before leaving the room and locking the door.

Alone, you curled up on the bed, replaying the event in your mind, wondering why he hadn't hit you this time. Maybe you weren't even worth correcting anymore. Maybe you were more trouble than you were worth.

The thought hit you like a sack of bricks. You clutched the sheets, sobbing, desperate to be enough, to be worth keeping.

A timid voice from outside the locked door interrupted your thoughts. "Mommy? Are you okay?"

"Honey, I'm okay. Go to grandma's house, alright?" you said, masking the pain in your voice.

"Mommy needs rest?" they asked innocently.

You smiled through the pain. "Yeah, honey, mommy needs rest. Go on to grandma, baby. I love you."

As their little footsteps padded down the hall, you lay in silence, trying to hold onto the scent of him in the sheets. For almost a month, things had been good. You could almost believe Johnny loved you.

If you had any self-preservation, you'd plan an escape or consider self-defense. But you're stuck, desperately trying to think of what you can do or say to make him happy, knowing deep down there's nothing. With him not having touched you, you feared he had grown tired of tormenting you.

So, as you clutched your aching stomach after he kicked you, part of you was relieved. If he was bothering to correct you, maybe he was still going to keep you.

"I fucking hate you," he declared, kicking you over. "I wish you'd die."

His words cut deep as he grabbed your hair, a blade scraping under your chin. "One little slit is all it'd take to be rid of you. To spare me and our kid from growing up with a shit-for-brains mom."

You said nothing, tears and snot falling onto the floor. Johnny looked disgusted.

"You got nothin' to say? Maybe I should cut out your tongue," he sneered, tilting the blade to nick your skin.

"Baby, please, I-" you started. His eyes narrowed, bloodlust evident.

"Say one more goddamn word. Give me an excuse. I'm dying for you to let me be rid of you," he hissed, eyes filled with hate. "God, it'd make me feel so good to kill you. I can feel the tension leavin' my body just thinking about it. Honestly, I'd probably cum the moment I saw the light die in your dull eyes."

Appalled and mortified, you said nothing. You needed him. He was all you had. You stayed silent as he unleashed his frustration on you, beating you within an inch of your life. When he got tired or bored with it, he left without another word.

You lay on the floor in a pool of blood, body shattered, eyes too bruised to see, but alive. A broken smile crept across your face. He still wanted you. You weren't yet more trouble than you were worth.