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louisisalarrie · 9 months

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Not that many high profile celebrity fathers take paternities that I know of, or make them public. Louis is a but more private than other celebs, so I can imagine he could’ve just thought it was no one’s business. But there could be something else, like Brianna initially being meant to be a surrogate mom for Louis and Harry but something went wrong. Also, the photoshop “evidence” always seemed flimsy to me at best. I remember when lesbianslovelouis made an instagram account and bought a doll to prove Freddie was one but you could very much tell the difference between the doll and the real baby.

hey anon! lovely to hear from you.

i’ll try and keep this in order of what you’ve sent me. You can also find a great resource of BBG here, and many other of these breakdowns are available on YouTube, along with some bigger masterposts here on tumblr. Check these out for way more detail than I can pull together right now: 1, 2

1. Paternity tests and why they matter to BBG

Firstly to this, Louis is a high profile celeb who had a one night stand with a non famous girl he met that night (as the story goes), and knocked her up. If it was truly a one night stand and they’d just met, how was he sure F is his? Was he just gonna hand over money and support this kid and have him in his life with no paternity test? Hell, even if he did have a paternity test and it was his (hypothetical and not what I believe), why wouldn’t he just say “hey, I’ve taken a paternity test and he is mine, I’d appreciate privacy during this time” etc, because there was so much scrutiny about it, that if he wanted to lay those rumours to rest, he could have. BUT, that doesn’t keep the fans and general public talking about it, and therefore, he gets lost in the news. It’s all PR baby.

You are right, he is a very private person and has stated before he doesn’t like to post his personal life on social media. So, if the kid is his, why is F in the spotlight so much? In a film that’s meant to be strictly about Louis’s career for the world to see? Posted on Instagram and shoved in the public eye? It doesn’t add up with his values why he would keep a paternity test private, but broadcast the kid everywhere (or these days, allow his sisters/B’s family to post about him).

Paternity tests are provided to the general public to keep the celeb a) in the news, and b) to clear their image of being dragged into a scandal and encouraging fans to leave by seeing how much their fave celeb is undesirable/unattainable. Louis’s image was draaagggeddd through the mud, making this whole thing seem like he was fucking everything that walked, and knocking up girls at the club without a care in the world, far from his image in 1D. It wasn’t keeping the fans thinking “wow that sounds like the guy I’d wanna be with”, it was grossing them out and not wanting to really be involved with louis after this news broke. It was messy as hell back here when it all broke, still is. But damn, it did NOT make him look like the louis we all know and love. You can find a brief list of Celebs who have had their paternity tests revealed to the general public here, and I’m sure there have been many others.

2. The case of Briana and the surrogacy for HL

There have been a few really great posts about this in the past debunking it, and it seems pretty ridiculous now. I genuinely clutched at this idea to keep from believe BBG very early on when the news broke, so my heart didn’t. However, a couple of things I think we should think about are: why B? She lives across the world from their families. H+L have always been very family oriented, and that simply doesn’t add up for me. Secondly, the timing is super off. I don’t see them having a child at that point in their careers, knowing that they’re gonna continue travelling the world and won’t be a part of their kids life as much as they’d like to be, particularly when he’s so far away from both their families, so even they can’t look after him. Thirdly, if it truly was theirs, and it ended up being covered up as a scandal this way, F wouldn’t be in the public eye. It’s just not the case.

There is far more evidence to the fact she did a surrogacy for her mum as she was a patient in a fertility clinic a bit before this “one night stand” went down, and you can find that (and some other interesting stuff) here.

3. Doll vs Photoshop

Ahhh yes, I also remember the doll thing hahahah. Look, I think we were clutching at straws with the doll thing because it was insanely wild news and we just… couldn’t believe it. Didn’t believe it. So there were a million theories at the time to try and debunk it, including this doll one. It was a little convincing at the time because it’s what we wanted to hear and we were hoping this was just a short stunt, and we knew that louis wouldn’t broadcast an infant into the public eye like that if it wasn’t a stunt (which he largely has no control over what content is released during this), but I think largely, we really hated that a kid was gonna be dragged into this. We still do. I feel sorry for F, and I really hope he grows up and lives a happy life despite his position he is in now. There certainly is some evidence re the photoshopping, so check my links in the top of this response and hopefully you can find what you’re looking for.

Thanks for reaching out and hopefully this helped! If you wanna talk more, don’t hesitate to shoot me some more asks. Those masterposts cover just about everything though. BBG doesn’t add up, it never has, never will.

#anon #answered #xx

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southislandwren · 2 years

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I touched grass all summer and now my family seem terminally online to me. Why don’t you guys get off twitter and stack some hay bales and maybe you’ll calm down

#I can’t stand being on social media other than tumblr now like everything else is just so. loud #tumblr is my house though I’ve been here since 2014 I’m not leaving lmao #I want to farm full time I don’t want school for two more years :(#diary post #oh also what the fuck tfc died. I’m so sad he was awesome and I loved his stuff and he was such an inspiration #and now he’s gone. I keep thinking about his YouTube channel and how he’ll never really be gone. just inactive #the beauty of the internet is that any time I need some tfc I can watch some old vids and remember him #(same with my grandma. her Facebook is still there I can still read her comments. she’s not really gone)#being online has its benefits and downsides. too complicated for my sleepy brain right now though #anyway goodnight. less than a week and I move to school permanently for the semester (yikes)

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morgana-ren · 3 years

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SUBMISSION: How about a nasty sweaty incel shiggy waiting everyday for his dad to go to work so that he could have his relief with stepmom?

Excellent submission! Love that. Love that a lot! I find it only fair to warn you, however, that I won’t be doing mommy kink for it. Mommy kink is one of my squicks, and one of the very, very few I have. I’ll do the closest thing to it though: Daddy kink. Also I find the irony of him making his little stepmom call him daddy to be absolutely hilarious.

Also this one is a great concept and I love it but it’s going to have to be a multi-parter cause it got a little bit long. Lemme know if you like the concept and I’ll continue it. Also this posted under anonymous for some reason so cheers to tumblr and its endless fucking glitches that it never fixes or seems to make any better.

Warnings: Noncon, dubcon, sexism, really gross incel behavior, nsfl things, masturbation, violent sexual fantasies, nefarious planning, horrible suggestions from even more horrible friends, absolute LOATHING of family, and entitled bastard.

There is only one thing on this planet that Tomura hates more than his father.

Only one thing can even compare to the level of abject disgust he has for his dad. Everything about the man is abhorrent and degenerate, only tolerated because Tomura is, admittedly, a NEET, and had no where else to go after graduation. But if anything- anything- could hold a candle, it would be his taste in women.

All women are trashy on some level, but his dad really manages to find ones that pretend so hard that they aren’t. Vipers behind the veneer of smiling faces clad in red lipstick and smart skirts. Always “kind”, always “thoughtful”, and always fleeting. Fickle, stupid bimbos charmed by his dads surface level charisma to quickly realize just how shallow the pool became.

Even his own mom was like that: She fucked off once she realized staying with him meant staying with his dad, and that was a sacrifice she wasn’t willing to make. So she left him to rot in this cesspit with his worthless father and no other way out.

He figures he can’t hold it against her, not as much as he’d like. A few weeks with his shriveled up paternal figure and most women quickly figure out they can do so much better. It’s in their nature to seek out the best, and that certainly isn’t Kotaro; A bumbling idiot with nothing to offer on the best of days. They don’t know any better, so they never last long after being brought home to meet his son, and those are the ones that even make it that far.

So when he starts yammering on about meeting yet another skank and how ‘in love’ he already is, Tomura’s eyes roll so far back in his head that he swears his retinas will detach. He makes a point to be around as little as possible, but somehow still manages to catch an earful about his latest fling and how excited he is for Tomura to meet her.

Great.

True to his word, Kotaro brings you home one evening, eager to impress his son with his latest catch.

His father had a lot of nerve dragging him from his room to meet you- his latest glorified slut. Adding insult to injury, you had the unmitigated gall to talk down to him like you were an adult and he wasn’t. Even though you had to crane your neck to look up and greet him, you still talked at him like he was some child. So different from you even though you were so much smaller than he was- barely even a few years older than he is, if even that.

So polite, introducing yourself and gently shaking his reluctant hand, making a point to smile at him and telling him how happy were to finally meet him and that you’d heard so much about him. Your hands were so soft, so little in comparison to his own. He dwarfs his pathetic father, practically towers over you, yet you still talk to him like you’re the adult in the equation.

So young, so pretty, though. Far better than anything his father had a right to pull. They weren’t exactly swimming in cash, the house was nothing in particular to gloat about, and he’d done enough eavesdropping around late at night to know his father suffered a particular… ailment, so it certainly wasn’t sexual satisfaction keeping you around. What was it then?

Probably nothing. You’d probably run off in a few weeks like they all do.

Kotaro is a worthless sack of drooping skin and aging bones; A ghost of a man not worthy of the phantoms he’s seen pass in his years. No longer the dominant male even in his own home: not with a stronger, more virile son coming into his prime under the roof as well. A beta male at best, withering away while his own son eclipses him in strength and intellect and physique. Tomura is in his mid twenties and blooming- His father… who even knows. He doesn’t care- he doesn’t bother to keep track.

So, maybe you really are just a dumb little whore. It would make sense. Father dearest always had been a dirty old man; A raging pervert with wandering hands and lingering eyes. Always sets his predatory sights on some cute thing too good for him.

Then again, the poisoned apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, now does it?

You’re cute enough you could have gotten some alpha at your beck and call, yet you’ve attached yourself to his worthless father who, in turn, parades you around like his most beloved trophy. Taking you to dinners he can’t afford despite your ‘insistence’ that you be allowed to pay, buying you things you claim you don’t need. Oh, how the moron dotes on his whores as if it’s enough to keep them anchored to him.

Strangely though, you don’t run off.

If anything, you sink your claws in even further, getting more and more comfortable and showing up more and more. Every time Tomura leaves his fucking room- which isn’t often- you’re there around the corner, smiling dumb and pretty and greeting him politely.

Fuck, he hates you. Hates your stupid voice, your shitty dresses, hates hearing his father happy for once.

It’s no surprise- but unwelcome no less- that he’d move you in sooner rather than later. Terrified to let you out of his sight for even a second lest you come to what little senses you have in your tiny brain and dump him. Of course, he’s quick to take on all of your burdens as his own, even if it means working overtime to support you. He’s always wanted another little housewife, and now he’s so close.

Tomura listens in on the whole conversation feeling sick to his gut.

You beg him not to- offering to pay your own way just like a good girl, but of course his dumbass dad will hear none of it. He’s more than happy to spend a couple of extra hours at work. His dad is so idiotic, so fucking blind. He’s playing right into it. He’s willing to be your workhorse if it means keeping you all to himself.

He’ll hear none of it. None of the fussing or the questions. You’re welcome in his home, he wants you there. It’s no imposition at all, he knows the house will be better with you around.

Except he forgets one crucial detail-

The son he leaves home alone with you every single day when he leaves.

You’re nothing but a nuisance, something infringing on his private space. The time he used to get home alone to spend to his own devices is now split with you flittering around the house doing whatever it is bimbos like you do. Cleaning, cooking, pretending to read, whatever. He doesn’t have to see you if he doesn’t want, sure, but he still knows you’re there and that’s more than enough to annoy him.

It’s almost like you catch on to his animosity after a while. The way he won’t greet you back, the way he utterly ignores your existence. It bugs you, and as far as he’s concerned, good.

You try to slip him up, try to get close to him and make him like you. You always set a place for him at the table even after Kotaro repeatedly insists- truthfully- that he’ll never join for dinner. Even then, you always bring the plate to his door. He never bothers to answer- not after the first few times when he only opened it a sliver to see your stupid smiling face. After that, he didn’t bother answering. He’ll eat it of course- won’t pass up free food he doesn’t have to leave his room for- and then leave the dirty dish back outside where you left it. You brought it, after all. You can clean it up.

All your efforts only get you mocked, and boy do you try so hard to get his affection. He even overhears you whining to his dad once or twice, not understanding why he doesn’t like you.

It makes him smile.

His friends- online of course, but still friends or comrades or kindred spirits or whatever- have more opportunistic ideas about it. His first post to the forum complaining about the new living situation was met with envy and awe- not necessarily the response he was expecting, though looking back on it, he supposes they were right.

lmpwrst: Why u bitchin’? Ur living with a girl ur not related to and that’s closer than any of us have gotten u ungrateful ass

KingKockRool: Go jerk off on her pillow.

Stacystabber91: take a video hold her down and fuck her then idiot

KingKockRool: No wait till she’s sleeping and jerk it on her face

st8lker: Bet she’s ugly tho if she’s dating your dad lol

Oddly enough, he doesn’t agree. That’s one thing he understands about you, loathe as he is to admit it. His new ‘stepmom’, for all her annoyances, is pretty easy on the eyes. The kinda girl that would have caught his eye in an unrelated situation and earned a permanent spot in his spank bank. Thinking about it, the whole ‘dating his dad’ situation maybe threw off his judgement more than he realized.

He’ll let the jury decide: He finds a photo on your social media, crops everyone else out of it, and hits enter. Easy peasy. He saves it to his hard drive for later too. Might as well.

‘Here, you decide then.’

Thus the shitstorm begins.

st8lker: Oh fuckkk fuck me mommy lmao

lmpwrst: Opportunity is wasted on u

Stacystabber91: you pussy punk bitch, i stand by what I said earlier. dont be a bitch and fuck the little cunt already

VolceliSwear: Whos the bitch

lmpwrst: Scratchy’s new stepmommy lol

VolceliSwear: Nice. Hit it yet?

Stacystabber91: he hasn’t cause he’s a gigantic fuckin pussy like i told you all

VolceliSwear: Come on dude you actually have that gash sleeping in your house and you haven’t made a move?

Stacystabber91: it’s not like she could say no cause you’re a big lanky bastard aren’t you? that’s one thing we got over the shortcels and you’re bigger and stronger than her so take what’s yours idiot or I will

lmpwrst: I agree with SS lol U complain all the time about not having a hole to fuck and now u do

VolceliSwear: ^^ Isn’t your dad a limp-dicked prick who can’t get it up? Someone’s gotta do it so it might as well be you. Hit the bitch so hard and fast she doesn’t know what way is up

Stacystabber91: and send pics moron I want to see tits or I’m coming over there to do it myself

It’s an… intriguing thought. To be honest, he’s never actually considered fucking you before. Had the passive thought like he does with most girls he sees, but never stopped to think on actually doing it. For some reason, there was a mental wall between him and his father’s girlfriends. But why should there be?

Depraved little bastard that he is, he’s not above cornering a girl and forcing himself on her but he’s not keen on going to jail, so he’s never escalated past creepy photos and following the occasional broad a little too closely. Maybe a couple gropes in passing… okay, maybe a lot. But he’s never gotten caught- maybe the girls don’t report it or just couldn’t find him afterward. Either way, it’s all worked out so far because he doesn’t cross certain boundaries.

Most girls are repulsed by him and his repugnant behavior, so they stay far, far away. It’s like he’s a giant blaring warning sign that they tend to heed instinctively.

But you don’t.

This is different. You live here, so close to him, so within reach. Just how close you are. How easy it would be for him to force you down and make you take it. Just how much time alone he really has with you since his father leaves and returns like clockwork. He’s got the entire day once his father leaves for work. And all night once he takes his sleeping medication. An easy, pretty little catch already wiggling in his web.

‘Maybe I will.’

That’s how it starts.

Snowball into snowstorm.

With an idea and a lot of goading from his online buddies, a monster is born and weaned on his own depravity and escalates into something very real, and very dangerous.

Tomura is achingly familiar with the scene- he’s seen enough porn to give him ample ideas. But he’s got all the time in the world. It’s hard not to rush things considering how eager he is, but it’s safer to test the waters first. Get you nice and scared so you’ll keep your pretty mouth shut unless he tells you to open it for him. See how far he can get, how much he can toy with you before you finally catch on.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll fuck him willingly. You are a stupid little slut, after all. Most of you females are deep down beneath that holier-than-thou, stuck up bitchiness you hide behind.

So he starts with a time honored tradition. He steals your panties.

The bathroom is cluttered with your shit. Your fruity shampoos and conditioners, your makeup, your perfumes. Tomura has a toothbrush and a comb he doesn’t use, a bottle of 3-1 for when he forces himself into a shower, and a singular gray towel, but the rest is between you and his father. Your body washes, your scrubs, your clothes in the hamper.

It’s easy enough to fish out a fresh pair- only a couple of hours old. Some lacy contraption you must’ve been wearing beneath your clothes and carelessly left in the bin when you showered. It’s easy to pocket them before you hear him rummaging around, and maybe you’ll miss them, but that’s not his problem. Washer eats things all the time, doesn’t it?

He’s hidden back in his room, safely dodging you before he allows himself to indulge- Bringing them to his nose and inhaling the doubled fabric of the crotch so hard that it catches on the edge of his nostrils.

Fuck, your cunt smell good- tangy and sweet but the tiniest hint of bitter. A couple of whiffs is enough to get his cock twitching, inflating into a painful hardness as he hears you walking around outside in the hallway. Shit, you’re so fuckin’ airheaded, walking around so oblivious as he tongues at the cloth that was nestled right up against your pussy until a few hours ago. He can taste you, sucking your left over essence through his teeth and he swears he’s going to cream all over the inside of his jeans if he doesn’t jerk off right now.

He’s quick to drop his sweats and sprawl on his bed, thumbing the tip of his prick and licking gratuitous stripes up the slim of your discarded panties with his tongue. You’d look so good sucking his cock; On your bruised knees, face a slathered mess of cum and saliva and running makeup. Bulge in your throat from taking him so deep and trying so hard to please him like you always do- or maybe avoid a painful punishment because he isn’t above using his hands on you and you learned that the hard way.

The thought of your ruddy, soppy face makes him throb- fucking your wet little throat until you’re suffocating, pulling out to let you breathe only to cum on your face. Yanking you up to bend you over the stove and force you to make his worthless father’s dinner with his spend tacking across your face and his cock lodged deep in your cunt. Worthless fucking sack of shit that his father is, he’d spit in it too and make you serve it to him with a smile while your actual daddy watches you do it and rewards you later with his dick fucking you between your tits.

Fuck yes, that’s what he’ll make you do. He’ll make you call him daddy when he creampies you- the opportunity is too perfect to pass. He’ll fuck his father’s pretty whore as she screams and moans for daddy’s cock while his father is away at work to pay all her frivolous bills like the beta-cuck he is. None of the work and all of the reward- as it should be.

It’s not like Kotaro can fuck you, and his friends are right. Someone should. So why not him? Why not spread your legs for your boyfriend’s younger, more powerful son? Oh, sorry, did he give you the illusion that you had a choice? He’ll take what is rightfully his and there’s not a fucking thing you or his pathetic fucking father can ever do about it.

He plucks your panties from his face, moving them instead to work over his cock. It would feel so much better if you were wearing them- grinding your sweet little cunt against his dick, begging him not to fuck you but getting so wet all the same. The silky fabric feels so good against his hypersensitive skin, coupled with the clenched pumping of his fist as he daydreams about railing you into his filthy mattress until you’re too weak to even move on your own, his cum dripping from every one of your used holes. Limp, useless little whore too fucked out to even fight him as he fucks her in the ass again-

Fantasies swirl in his head, flashes of scenarios that tease him and work him into a frenzy. He’s going to cum hard to the thought filling you, your agonized face as the tip of him knocks against the opening of your womb, buried so deep in your cute pussy that he can feel the wall that keeps him firmly locked out of your guts. So close, so tight, so warm. He’s going to pump you full to the brim like the skank you are, fill you nice and thick full of his seed and then use you again and again and again-

He feels it in his spine, waves of pleasure furling at the base and congealing together impossibly tight, so ready to burst. His thighs flex, muscles in his stomach tightening and breath staggering. Searing white behind dry, clenched eyes and his cock twitches in his palm, knot bursting deep between his legs as his hand stills momentarily. His hands twitch, cock throbbing as thick ropes of cum spill over the slats of his fingers, splattering his stomach and the waist of his sweatpants and all over your adorable little panties.

“Shit-”

Shallow, shaky breaths, still seeing stars popping behind his eyelids. Fuck, he hasn’t cum that hard in- well, a very long time. Is it the thought of having something tangible soon? His very own cunt to abuse? Grinning, he looks down at the absolutely drenched pair in his hand, sticky with fresh seed.

He thinks so.

Instinctively, he wipes the excess off his fingers and onto his dirty, rumpled black sheets, swiping across his shirt and his skin. Just another ‘mystery spot’ among the rest, soon to become a crusty, flaked white stain on the fabric among all the preexisting ones.

With some effort on his part, he sits up, still trying to catch his breath. He thought post orgasm clarity might deter him from this path, but if anything, he’s even more determined now. Why should he sit and touch himself in a dark room when there’s a perfectly good set of holes to fuck wandering around freely outside?

Oh yeah, this should work out just fine.

There’s a knock on the door while he’s still wading through his gross thoughts, softly at first but then slightly more insistent. It jolts him alert, irritating him that he’s being bothered when he’s scheming. He’s already finished the dirty dead, all ready to put himself away for now but it’s still jarring none the less when someone comes around so closely to him wanking. A quick dash at the clock tells him it’s not dinner time yet, so what gives? Why are you bothering him now? Nothing is ready yet.

He tucks himself away and quickly buries your soiled underwear in the pocket of his sweats. Quickly wiping any remnants on the knees of his pants before swinging his door open, agitation palpable as he greets your stupid, sunny face.

Speak of the she-devil.

“Hi, Tomura! Just wondering if you have any laundry or anything you want me to take!” “N-” He’s about to slam the door. About to. But you know what? You want his laundry? Sure. He’s got some for you. “Yeah- yeah, sure.”

He steps back from behind the door, letting it creak open a little as he rips off his freshly re-soiled sheets.

“Oh, good! Yeah, I’m throwing in my own so I’ll take your load too-“

Yeah you will.

Balling it up, he chucks it at you as you curiously peek your head in. You’ve never seen the inside of his room, but soon you’ll see plenty. He doesn’t know if you can feel the fresh cum on the sheets, but he’s willing to bet you can probably smell it. To your credit, you barely falter, even with the sheet cradled in your bare arms.

You’re probably having a moment of “understanding.” ‘He’s a young man with no girlfriend and no other outlet. Of course he’s going to wack off’ and all that. It’s cute, the way you pretend not to notice. That’s okay, he’ll give you something you can’t ignore.

He steps up to the door again, yanking his black shirt over his head and dropping it in your arms with a shit eating grin.

“Oh- okay, yeah-“

Your sentence halts completely as he starts to strip off his pants and you’re left staring in slight horror as your stepson strips down to his boxers in front of you before placing his sweats on the top of the pile you’re carrying- right by your face.

“I’ve got some more dirty boxers if you think you can handle anymore.” He’s grinning like a fiend, reveling in your poorly concealed discomfort as he leans against the doorframe, swinging out towards you. You’re backing away from him, desperately trying to keep your eyes up and away from his very exposed body, and especially the half hard cock tenting the front of his boxers. Your face is turning a viciously dark shade, stifling your breathing because he just knows what you’re refusing to see, you can almost certainly smell.

“Um- nope! This should be a full one! I’ll get them back to you soon!”

“Oh, take your time. No rush.”

You scurry off down the hall much quicker than your usual casual walk, probably to scrub your arms clean with iron wool. Poor little thing, just trying to be nice and this is what it gets you.

He cackles something fierce as he shuts his door again, going to look for your ruined panties to post a pic but remembering they’re still in the pocket of his sweatpants, covered in his cum and saliva. A fun little surprise for you to find when you go through pockets to ensure nothing gets stuck in the washer.

And he notices, in the coming days, you stop leaving your clothes in the hamper- or even being able to meet his eyes.

Oh, this should be fun.

#nsft #shigaraki smut #see warnings #no mommy kink i am sorry #lots of gross shit for you tho #which I assume you want cause you came to me of all people #see the warning list up top for full disclosure

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jesslockwood · 3 years

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Photo Opportunities

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Warnings: FLUFF with a slightly (barely) suggestive sentence towards the end

A/n: damn I can't write anything except actress reader? smh but this is for @londonspidey ‘s sit-com Writing challenge (ik I'm early lol) but I was so excited I wrote the whole thing in one go lmao the prompt is bolded!

Calling yourself a fan was an understatement. You were obsessed with anything and everything marvel. And oddly enough, you could after today say you were in the club. It wasn’t a public fact yet, until later that day actually, at the Marvel panel at comic con that you were being announced as the actress for the character, Felica Hardy and no one else knew except for the people who cast you and your best friend who signed an NDA. You were technically still a known actress for your roles on television mainly as Thalia on the PJO Disney + series and a couple of still decently sized films.

You were currently wrapping up signing autographs for fans of yours for today. Your team had planned it out so it wasn’t suspicious that you were at the con with a few of your castmates scattered doing other junkets and press so people wouldn’t guess who they were acting as the cast for new marvel projects.

You had been planning to go meet your best friend, who wasn’t in the industry before getting a text that she bought you both a photo-op with someone and she wouldn’t tell you who. You couldn’t only assume it was a marvel actor that you would indeed, freak out.

Y/b/n: btw I brought you a mask. I get the wig lol.

You: please tell me it doesn’t cover my full face. Also, how are we posing?

Y/b/n: I bought as many photo ops as I could so a lot of different ones, And if I tell you the poses it’ll spoil it.

You: is this with the money I pay you to be my assistant with? Lol fine I’m omw with security

Y/b/n: maybe…

Y/b/n: and they’ll need more backup security for who we’re getting a photo op with than you do for your hellfire.

You roll your eyes before taking your stuff and exiting the booth, before heading out the backways with staff security and your detailed security for the day. You only had security because you wanted to explore the con when you weren’t needed.

Your best friend had also been your assistant for the con weekend, but you didn’t want her to be confined to you the whole three days so when she could, you would let her explore it, at least she could experience it as a fan, right?

When you made it to that part of the building, you wanted to wait in line with her, which your security didn’t agree to so she texted you when there were about five people ahead of her. She was one of the last in line, with you asking her to be kind, so others would get their chance to be first with whomever it was.

When she texted you and your detailed exit, getting a few stares and others taking their phones out to either take photos or tweet, you wave at them before joining your best friend in line.

“Here,” she says before handing you none other than a black cat mask before she puts on a red wig.

You glare at her slightly trying to not make a scene, before putting it on.

“I’m assuming you're Mary Jane?” you laugh figuring out that it had to be someone from Spider-Man.

“How’d you- never mind.” She laughs with you.

She then explains how she’s going to pose for your five photo ops, joking in between how she should “get a raise for this”.

You catch sight of him before sucking in your breath. This was either going to go down amazingly or terribly, there was no in-between with you.

“Excuse Me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?”

You turn around and are met by some fans who were standing in line behind you.

“I am! How’s your con going?” you ask politely to the two of them.

“It's going amazing! We love you as Thalia! Could we maybe get a picture? Only if it’s okay?”

“Of course! Thank you for supporting me!” your best friend grabs their phone to take the photo, before you take off the mask, and stand between the two fans, and your best friend snaps a few photos.

“Thank you so much! And Are you fans of Tom?”

You start slowly walking back to catch up to the line.

“Yeah, I love him as Spiderman, but I also enjoy his other roles. He's very talented, I'd love to work with him one day!”

“Have you seen him in Uncharted? We love Him as Nathan drake!”

“I have, he was amazing per usual! How are you two posing with him?”

They show you their innovative pose. You laugh and tell them it's great before you have to wish them goodbye before heading up for your turn for the photo op.

“How do we want to pose- hang on, I recognize you!”

You freeze slightly before your friend mouths for you to flirt. You look down at the mask in your hand before getting into character and saying “Of course you do Spidey, I'm always causing you trouble.” you put on the mask and wink.

He seems slightly stunned, laughing, feeling like he’s seen you somewhere, not only because he found you extremely gorgeous, while in his peripheral vision he sees his brother/ assistant, Harry waving like a madman on the side.

Your friend directs you both through the poses, first, one both him putting “webs” onto you as she looks over his shoulder, the second one, both of you kissing his cheeks, the third, all jumping in the air in your best superhero poses, the fourth one she gets a photo op alone and the last one she gives to you,

“Seriously, who are you?”

“Your Wildest dreams, baby,” you say, taking off the mask.

Your best friend yells “freestyle” from the sidelines before Tom dips you, gently, with you shocked, holding the mask out with your free arm and the photo captures that moment.

He gently helps you stand back up fully, not before you drop the mask.

“Nice moves Spider-Man.”

“Not so bad yourself, Black Cat.”

You laugh before, taking off with your best friend, well more her dragging you to the printing station leaving the mask behind. Tom picks it up before shoving it in his back pocket to hopefully give back if he could find you.

`You were sitting in the green room, trending on Twitter before you were actually supposed to be trending on Twitter, and god knows where else.

Someone had snuck a video of you and Tom, up till him dipping you, and a video of you interacting with the fans in the line.

Your Y/b/n was currently reading off some tweets out loud

“‘A kind queen we stan.’ I agree, I also agree with ‘Date her if you can't date me tom!!!’.

‘THALIA AND PETER PARKER??? My two fandoms have collided.’ same, same. Oo this one says, ‘if she ain’t playing black cat I will sue marvel.’ I'm dying at the reply ‘She needs to post the photos or I'll sue her!’. This one’s funny, ‘she could squash him like a bug in heels but he liked his queen like that.’.”

She pauses watching you texting.

“Y/n? Y/n?”

“What? Sorry I was only half listening. I was texting my publicist. She said to stay on the DL until tonight.

“Well we should get food, you haven't eaten since this morning.”

“By the way, your show has shot to number one on Disney +. Also, you have like three times the followers you had before, probably cause you're trending on every platform, even Tumblr!”

“Wow you should just become my social media manager now.” you joke trying to ease the joy yet weirded out feeling in your stomach.

“Does that come with a raise? Because after today I've spent way too much of what I'm paid.” she jokes back.

After finishing his photo ops Tom asked Harry who she was and to find out. By the time he finished autographs for the day, Tom and Harry walked to the panel room in the back for announcements, one that included him for the new Avengers movie, while Harry gave him the rundown.

“So she’s an actress, she plays Thalia on Disney plus’ Percy Jackson series, and that's her most known project. The other girl with her is her assistant best friend, and now she's trending everywhere. People dug up some old photos of her being a marvel/Spider-Man fan, so there's that. And she's here at the con for the rest of the weekend. She's doing photo ops tomorrow at one, and yes she's single from what I gather since you were looking at her like this.” he makes a weird face before tom smacks him.

“And plus you have time in your schedule to get a photo op with her, that is if you eat lunch quickly.”

That gave Tom an idea.

“Harry I’m going to need you to book me one, oh and help me find a Spider-Man costume!” He says, before leaving harry to do ‘assistant’ work. entering the green room for the announcements, watching them announce a new movie.

“We are so excited to announce to the Marvel Universe, and spider-verse-” that perked tom’s ears, “-directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and today we are announcing our amazing Miss Felicia Hardy, please give a warm welcome to the stage, Your Black Cat!”

You suddenly emerged in an aisle way, dressed in all black with a leather jacket, black ankle boots, and of course black sunglasses indoors.

The music is marvel music until it suddenly changes after a recorded laugh from you into “I can’t be tamed by Miley Cyrus”.

You start owning the music while saying hi and touching fans’ hands. You decide to take off your sunglasses and throwing them to a fan, for them to keep, before getting on stage.

“What a Performance from the one the only Y/n Y/l/n!”

You laugh, being met with the loudest applause you had heard all con before being handed a Mic.

“Thank you but I'm a terrible dancer.” You Joke.

Tom was staring at the screen stunned. You had been the black cat all along. You were in the marvel universe and spidey one, so he'd definitely be seeing more of you. The hard part is that you seemed so genuine when you talked, interacted with fans and was no doubt, stunning.

“Better close your mouth or the flies will get in.” Tom turns around to find the voice of none other than his friend slash bully, Sebastian Stan, along with Anthony Mackie.

“Looks like the kid has a crush!” Anthony laughs, pointing to the screen you were on.

“I-I don’t! I don’t even know her!” Tom tries to come to his own defense, hopelessly.

“She’s got you whipped already don’t even deny it.” Harry comes in, joining the teasing of one, Tom Holland.

“Maybe we can invite her out for drinks tonight, then fanboy over here can meet her, and then probably scare her off!” Anthony mentions.

“You haven’t looked on the internet? They’ve already met.” Seb says, before showing Anthony twitter.

Anthony stands there slightly shocked before bursting into laughter.

“Well, she’s damn well a keeper for Tom since she obviously likes him.”

A staff member peaks their head in the green room to tell Tom he’s up next.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave you two!”

On the other hand, you were on an adrenaline high from being on stage, and seeing all the fans. You knew tomorrow was going to be crazy, as you expected people to book your photo op left and right since the announcement.

You had decided to decline an offer from your fellow marvel universe castmates, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie, which they so graciously told you that whenever you’re free, the offer still stood.

You had gotten to your hotel room seeing your phone blowing up on the social media apps for the second time that day.

You responded to the important stuff, before heading to bed, knowing it was going to be hectic.

You had been right, it was absolutely insane, the number of people who showed up. You had fully booked all your time slots for photo ops. You had seen so many people dressed up in marvel cosplay, ranging from Loki to Ironman, even some people dressed up as your character, which was wildly insane to see.

You had been nearing the end of the line and had enjoyed every moment with the fans, and you couldn’t wait for your autographing session later that day, to truly get a chance to talk to the fans and connect with them and how they felt about you being their beloved Black Cat.

After a few more photos, posing how they wanted, you see a fully dressed, head to toe, mask and all, Spider-Man. You had seen some spider-mans but most took off their masks to snap a picture. The person was the last in line.

“Hey Black Cat.” The southern American accented voice tells you, seeming very familiar.

“Hey, Spider, what poses do you have up your sleeve?” you ask kindly.

“I bought a few, Cat.” they laugh.

“Okay, You can do whatever a spider can right?” you pull out a line out of the comics jokingly.

“I can do flips if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.” you laugh.

“I really can, but this is one.”

He gets down on one knee, holding a black cat mask instead of a ring. The photographer captures the shocked expression on your face.

“I- Don’t- What- Spider I-”

“Ow My feelings…” Suddenly their voice changes into a British accent before they pull off the mask to reveal-

“Tom?”

“I guess you don’t have a spidey sense darling?” The photographer captures the moment without warning eating the moment up.

You laugh at that.

“I guess you found out my true identity Spider. And it’s nice to officially meet you, Tom.”

He laughs, just as nervous as you, he notices he has gotten closer to you and a strand of hair loosely is blowing in your face, so naturally, he pushes it behind your ear. Another snap of the camera can be heard.

“NOW KISS!” a voice belonging to your best friend yells from the side, mid-eating a churro.

You both laugh really hard at that.

The both of you calm down, slowly leaning lost in the moment. The camera snaps again. You both look at the photographer weirded out, and they just shrug.

“Wait can you actually do a flip?” you ask, pulling away, not wanting prying eyes aka the photographer, to pry in your business.

“I can, though I’d show you later, maybe in the greenroom?”

“That sounds naughty, but, sure.” you joke around.

He laughs before, you both take off from the area going to grab the photos.

After spending most of the day together when you could, you get Tom’s number, before heading back to your hotel room. He texts you as soon as you get back.

Spider: I had fun today, minus finding our assistants making out.

You: we should ‘snog’ too, it’ll gross them out ;)

You: I had fun too btw. Are you leaving tomorrow?

Spider: lol we should. And yeah an early flight, 6 am to be exact. Hbu?

You: Yeah me too... another day another dollar lol

Spider: ill miss you, Cat.

You: stop talking like we’ll never see each other again lol. As a matter of fact, come to my room, we’re watching a movie!

Spider: alright, I’ll order snacks.

You sigh smiling at your phone. You haven’t felt this giddy in a long time.

Your phone pings with a few Instagram notifications.

Tomholland2013 has started following you.

Tomholland2013 has tagged you in a photo.

You open Instagram to find the photo of him “proposing” to you posted.

“Ow, my leg, my- feelings...Welcome to the Universe, Cat.” the photo is captioned. You decide to post, the photo of him dipping you.

“So what do you say, Spider? Wanna help me pull off the Heist of the Heist of the Century?” you caption it, Before getting comfortable to watch a movie.

What an opportunity ;)

Tags:

@lolooo22 @webmeupspiderdaddy @harryhollandsgirlfriend @spideyspeaches @greenorangevioletgrass @queenofthepouges @sheranatic111 @keithseabrook27

#tom holland #peter parker #marvel #spider-man #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #comic con #ace comic con seattle #ace con #comiccon #Katies4kwc

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

Note

Please stop putting Rwde in the main tags holy shit. Blocked tags dont work on trending tags

Okay, today we're going to have a talk about curating your own content online. This isn’t the first time I’ve had an anon, somewhat angrily, demand that I stop using the “RWBY” tag and I’m sure it won’t be the last. However, my answer remains the same: No. Sorry. I’m not going to stop. Why?

Because my posts are about RWBY.

In case the above isn’t answer enough, let’s do a quick FAQs.

Why are you using the “RWBY” tag when so many of your posts are critical?

Because, as said, my posts are about RWBY. That’s the subject. I’ve been in the RWBY tumblr fandom for over five years now. I want all my RWBY content accessible in one place on my blog, not divided up between praise posts, critical posts, fanart, fic, etc. If an easy division between the first two is even possible (which it's not). It’s just all RWBY and, oddly enough, when I started reblogging and posting here, I tagged it with “RWBY.” Because that’s the show. My tagging system is far from complex, but I’m not about to re-organize or switch up 228 pages of content.

But we decided a long time ago that critical posts shouldn’t go in the main tag.

That’s ridiculous. People realize that’s ridiculous, right? I mean, I know we've all mostly agreed to observe this self-imposed rule, but that doesn't mean I haven't been raising an eyebrow at it since it first came up. I’ve been in a lot of fandoms and I’ve never seen another that insisted only praise could go in the main tag. When you come on tumblr and want to look up RWBY posts, you expect to get everything about RWBY—any post that deals with that subject. I would stake a great deal on the assumption that there are other posts in the main tag that you dislike, anon, simply because that's how people work. We all don't like the same things and, indeed, in a long-running show with a massive cast, there's going to be stuff we hate too. Ships you can't stand, takes you think are awful, that character you’re just so sick of seeing… yet we don’t exclude other, major subjects from the tag just because certain individuals dislike them. If we did, there would be no “RWBY” search because no one would ever agree on what is and is not allowed.

You have “RWDE” though.

We do! And as evidenced by the post you’re upset with, I use it when I think it's warranted. Here’s the thing about “RWDE” though: no one can agree on that either. Some fans think “RWDE” is solely for the angry, curse-laden posts. Others think it’s only for posts that are 100% critical. Others think it’s for ranting critical posts, not analysis critical posts. Still others think it’s for posts that say anything bad about RWBY, no matter if other parts of the post are complimentary or neutral—with "bad" ranging from "Actively insulting aspects" to "I didn't praise this enough to the individual's liking." It's so subjective as to be almost useless, to the point where "RWDE" posters are currently upset that others are posting critical takes about "RWDE" takes. Where do we draw the lines then? Your guess is as good as mine. But the one time I tried to post solely in “RWDE,” I was getting different anons going, “Omg stop posting in rwde this isn’t rwde!” So… my posts are apparently too critical for “RWBY” and, often, not critical enough for “RWDE.” Fantastic.

Just create your own unique tag then.

On the social media website where we post specifically to have other people interact with our work? You may not like my posts, anon, but other people do. “RWBY” is useful in part because it allows like-minded people to find me. If I only used a unique tag, I’d never come up in searches. Besides, I already do have a unique tag: “mymetas.” Every critical RWBY post of mine has that attached. Thus, it’s your job to blog “RWDE,” “mymetas,” or me entirely.

I tried that though and tumblr’s blocking system didn’t work for [insert reason here]

I really am sorry to hear that, it sucks, but tumblr’s shoddy system is not my fault—nor my responsibility. And now we come to the part about curating our online experience. Sometimes it’s not just about blocking everything because the system itself is flawed. Often you have to go further by scrolling past.

I'm going to say that again because people really need to practice it more on tumblr: scroll past the content you don't like.

If you don’t like a post, don’t read it. If you start reading a post and realize you don’t like it, stop and go find something else you enjoy. Being a responsible fan online often means going, “Huh. I hate that” and moving on, not coming into the author’s inbox to demand that they—impossibly—ensure that you never have to see something you hate ever again. Anon, you spent more time with something you claim to dislike by coming into my inbox to write and send a message demanding that I stop using "RWBY" than you would have by simply ignoring my post and moving on. That tells me you care more about controlling others' online experience than you do managing your own.

But we don’t want to see critical takes in the “RWBY” tag! We come on tumblr because we love the show and it sucks to see people dragging it all the time. I just want to enjoy the show in peace.

A valid stance… and one that doesn’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to RWBY. Between the time I posted about the teaser and the time I saw this ask, two hours had passed and a hundred and four new posts had appeared in “RWBY." I know because I took the time to count. The RWBY critical community is absolutely miniscule compared to the rest of the fandom. There are maybe 2-7 new “RWDE” posts a day, max, and those are coming from a few key blogs that focus on analyzing the show. There is no scenario in which there are so many critical posts that it’s ruining your RWBY time on tumblr, simply because that amount of critical content doesn’t exist. And if seeing a single critical take from my blog—or even 2-4, because that's my own max per day—honestly upsets you to the extent that you can't just move on, you shouldn’t be on a website known for its diverse content and incredibly iffy blocking system. My posts exist in a sea of RWBY excitement, praise, and celebration. It is your job to scroll past, anon, not my job to play a subjective, rigged game to ensure you never brush past a single bit of seaweed in that massive, ever-expanding ocean.

What this argument comes down to is, “You’re not allowed to tag RWBY content with RWBY because I don’t like what you have to say.” Sorry, but that just doesn't work for me.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas

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5hadow-alpha · 4 years

Text

A Rambly New Year’s Message for the Thunderfam

So it’s almost a new year, and that means taking a bit of time to look back on the last twelve months and everything that has happened. Admittedly 2020 has been, to put it bluntly, awful. But there is one thing that has made it bearable.

You guys. The Thunderfam.

I’ve been on Tumblr for about five months now, and like every newbie I’ve seen on here, have been welcomed with open arms into an incredible family of people I am so, so proud to be a part of. It’s almost contradictory to feel so close to a group of people I have never even met.

I’ve always been wary of social media, and the few apps I do have are used for messaging friends - I don’t post or react to anything. Yet somehow you guys have given me the confidence to put up drawings and even a story, and like and reblog and comment and still feel safe. Occasionally it’s still hard to pluck up the courage to interact, and sometimes I can’t comment because I’m so amazed by what I’ve seen someone create that I can’t find any words that would justify it, so a like or a reblog has to do. I’ve gone from laughing until my stomach hurts, to literally sitting on the edge of my seat, to crying my eyes out a couple of minutes later, all because of the incredible talent I see on my feed every day.

I’ve also lurked in the shadows of a few fandoms over the years, and have watched them slowly die once the shows have ended. It’s heart-breaking to see, but even though TAG is over (for now! We can always hope) we’re still thriving. My biggest regret is not discovering Tumblr five years ago because I would have loved to watch this fandom grow and blossom into what it is today.

I wish there was some way to let everyone who worked on the show, or even any part of the Thunderbirds franchise, to see what an amazing community of people we’ve built here. Because then they would be able to see what an incredible thing they’ve done by bringing us all together. You lot are a fantastic group of people who just personify everything that International Rescue and the Thunderbirds stand for. You’re there to catch people when they’re falling and put them back on their feet, and there’s so much kindness and love here that is almost impossible to find out there in the big wide world.

To quote a certain dark-haired pilot we all know and love, “when you send out an SOS, you deserve to know there’s someone out there. Listening.”

That is completely and totally you guys.

I’ve seen the SOS posts on my feed and I’ve felt awful because I haven’t been able to do much for you aside from a fairly feeble attempt at support in the form of a few words. I don’t have any screenshots and there aren’t enough hours in the day to draw or write something for you even though each and every one of you completely deserve it.

I’ve been there, I’ve struggled. This year has hit us all hard, and we’ve all dealt with our challenges. I’ve been struggling through a sudden loss in November that really knocked me off my feet after everything else that has gone wrong this year. I’m slowly getting back up now, but you guys need to know that is was the people on here that gave me a lifeline when I needed it most, and you didn’t even have to try.

And for the people out there still struggling, believe me when I say it won’t last forever. I can’t promise 2021 will be magically perfect, but we’re slowly but surely getting there. It might take while, but things will get easier. And if you ever want to talk, I’m only a message away. One of my favourite quotes has always been ‘things will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay it’s not the end.’ So keep going, you’ll make it to where you want to be!

Do you guys realise how amazing you all are? I was catching up on all of your posts the other day and suddenly realised I had this little smile on my face just from seeing all of your incredible drawings and stories and videos and photo edits and screenshots (there were so many and they are so good that the app crashed XD). And I have a hard time believing that I am the only one who realises that scrolling through those posts leaves you in a much better place than it did before. There is always something there to brighten your day.

It’s mindboggling to think that so many of you are at the opposite end of the country, in completely different continents, or even on the other side of the planet. But it makes absolutely no difference where we are in the world, because you all contribute so much to this community and give so much to people who need it.

I feel like for all of the hours of work and effort that you put into what you do whilst still managing to live real life, all the appreciation in the world wouldn’t be enough to express how fabulous you all are. So this is my attempt at stringing a few words together to make up for the fact that I can’t always do justice to the amazing things I’ve seen and the breath-taking people on this site. The imagination, kindness, and talent here is endless!

I know I’m not a big account, and I don’t know how many people will see this post. But I hope it gets a lot of reblogs, because every single member of this fandom should read it and realise how much you mean to me and all the others here.

I’m so grateful to have found you, and when I look back on 2020 I won’t remember it as the ‘Year the Pandemic Happened’, but as the ‘Year of the Thunderfam’.

So thank you Thunderfam, from the bottom of my heart, for being the highlight of my year and a ray of sunshine during some really tricky and horrible times. Here’s hoping 2021 will take us onwards and upwards!

So many tags, and I know I don’t have everyone! @psychoseal @seathesilverlinings @misssquidtracy @gentlebluelizard @dragonoffantasyandreality @olliepig @weirdburketeer @tsarisfanfiction @rachfielden-xo @angelofbenignmalevolence @lenna-z @gumnut-logic @gordonthegreatesttracy @drileyf @ak47stylegirl @thunderskybird @scarlett3drag0n @photowizard17 @weathergirl8 @inertplanetary @1bluesilvertracy @thunderbird-one-ai @soniabigcheese @neuroticphysiologist @singmetothesun @hironojp @louthestarspeaker @eirabach @mrseviltedi @i-am-chidorixblossom @the-lady-razorsharp @bonsaiiiiiii @fictivekaleidoscope @thundergeek59 @janetm74 @myladykayo @willow-salix @incorrect-thunderbirds-quotes @fearlesstracy @hedwigstalons @tinglingsquidsense @thunderbirds-are-fab @lenle-g @vegetacide @godsliltippy @misstb2 @gordoncoopertracy @sonatanotwo @flyboytracy @tag-rewatch

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fandom #thunderfam #new year #goodbye 2020 #gratitude for some amazing people #love you guys

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zumpietoo · 3 years

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Here’s the thing that Milly/Zelda/Kombucha/Dazey/Lisa/etc and all the socks in their drawers combined don’t understand. It is 20fucking21. If Cole Sprouse was some horrible abuser of women, rather than just the victim of his unfortunate taste in headcases (aka Lili and Bree) – he would be CANCELLED. No army of teenage fans, no amount of popularity in Hollywood, nothing could protect him in this day and age. If Bree had the receipts she and her fans claim she does… where are they? Why hasn’t she come forward properly instead of vague posting about Cole on Tumblr/Twitter/Insta/Twitch/wtfever? Why did all of their mutual friends side with Cole during their breakup? Clearly these people don’t remember when the Bree shit hit the fan. People were ready with RECEIPTS of her fuckery… the head games SHE played, all of her jealous stalking (which she also stalked Lili for a while!!), how she shit all over things that made him happy because they didn’t include her, how she told everyone he emotionally abused her when the reality was she thought they were going to get married and be 2GETHER4EVER (at 19 lmao ok), and then when it turned out he just kind of wanted a girlfriend to have sex with and play video games with (lmao like MOST 19 year old guys), she flipped the fuck out and called it emotional abuse. People had all her crazy documented back then, went after her across multiple platforms, and she ended up deleting everything and claiming it was “his stans” that made it impossible for her to come forward which… no… she just didn’t actually HAVE anything, no proof, nothing. Meanwhile, all of their mutual friends unfollowed her, if not immediately then definitely in the years following. The only reason Bree drops his name anymore is because it’s the only way she stays even close to relevant. It’s not because he actually abused her, mentally, emotionally or otherwise… it’s because she’s a tinkerbell who can’t deal with it when she’s not the most important thing in someone’s universe and when that turned out to be the case with Cole, she threw a bunch of accusations at him, stalked his new girlfriend (Lili at the time) etc. But never EVER in all that did she produce an ounce of proof. No friends that sided with her. No texts. No nothing. Because none of what she claimed ever actually happened.

Fast forward to Lili and we have the same issue. If Lili was the victim of Cole’s horrible emotional abuse… she’d put his ass on blast so fast. Lili has ZERO problem speaking her mind. She shit talks like it’s going out of style, and if she was the golden child of Riverdale, and was loved and adored by the producers and writers and RAS and the rest of the cast, and was the welcome wagon and all of the other stuff that her stans claim, if she went to ANY leadership and said “This is what happened, it was horrible, and I cannot be around my abuser like this” the CW would fire him. Or at least work to accomodate Lili if she was that beloved. Look at how fast they got rid of Ruby Rose on Batwoman when it turned out she was a nightmare behind the scenes? And she was the literal STAR of the show. And isn’t their narrative that the show leadership can’t stand Cole anyway (some of that is true, looking at you RAS and Ted especially, but that’s not because Cole is a nightmare to work with and more because KJ isn’t the fan favorite which, whatever)? Also if Lili DID get the network/show to give him the boot, which if he was abusive to her, she absolutely could, what would Cole do? Sue for breach of contract? When she should have mountains of proof after 3 years? When no doubt the show would’ve seen this behavior happening too? Like, what is their REASONING that Lili suffered and continues to suffer all of this grief that he’s supposedly causing her by flaunting Ari, etc? If she had proof, if anyone had seen all of this happening, they could’ve gotten him bounced in a heartbeat. Look at how fast ALL of Hollywood turned on Armie Hammer? Kevin Spacey’s accuser came forward 30 years after the fact, with almost zero proof and Hollywood cancelled him so fast. This isn’t the early 2000’s or even the early 2010’s anymore. It is 2021 and if Cole was really that horrible, people in the industry would know, and no one would work with him. But instead he’s still booking photography work, he’s still booking movies (two of them, Moonshot and Undercover), he’s inking deals with production companies. His past coworkers are excited to see him when they run into him on the street. Practically everyone who works with him says what a hard working professional he is (or they don’t say anything at all). His podcast that he helped produce and starred in won one of THE awards for podcasts, and is most likely getting a second season. And what has Lili done? Her poetry book was on the NYT Best sellers list for a week and then fell off. Chemical Hearts flopped HARD (to the point where she was recently pimping it MONTHS after it released). Covergirl filmed one commercial with her and did one print photoshoot with her, and then basically cut ties, having Lili put together her own photoshoots. Even if she didn’t buy her way onto PlusMinus or whatever it’s called, she still has 1 movie coming up and nothing else. Nothing even in the works that we know about. She’s the only one promoting Riverdale at all anymore because she has nothing else to fall back on. Honestly, the only reason she has pretty much any engagement anymore is because of her dog, who I actually think might be more popular than she is now. AND on top of all that, her recent whatever with Wallis apparently already has drama while Cole and Ari remain unbothered despite Ken and that other pap being dicks and all of the hate they Cari lobbed at them on a daily basis. Like, sorry Lili stans that she’s on the brink of irrelevancy, but if she had been abused and had her head fucked with like you all claim she has, she’d be lighting Cole up on social media because people would believe her, proof or no proof. Instead, she’s hanging with people who “only validate” her, including a toxic drunk bitch who basically trashed not only Cole but also Dylan at like, 3 in the morning all because Lili had to do a scene with her ex, and her mom who is KNOWN for feeding the fandom BS lies that she later gets caught out in. She’s trickling out a self-staged photoshoot because she hasn’t booked a real one in what? A year? She has 1 movie, and relies on her dog or breadcrumbing with another B-list actress to get her likes. I know its a tough pill to swallow for them and that’s why they’ve doubled down on the crazy so hard lately, but honestly it’s just sad now. There’s zero proof that Cole is anything they say, and if there was proof, Bree and especially Lili would be shouting it from the rooftops, but it doesn’t exist. There IS plenty of proof that Lili has zero work lined up, and a new drama filled relationship, and toxic friends (and that she cheated on Sam to be with Cole… something else they have absolutely NO PROOF of Cole doing). Sucks to be them I guess.

Even their concept of “abuse” consists of “Cole moving on and living his best life/OMG Cheater!!!”

And the latter applies to Lili, not Cole....

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orionsangel86 · 4 years

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Hey Everyone,

As you have probably noticed, I have neglected this blog for a long time now. I haven’t been on any fandom related social media at all actually. But I figured since I am currently in a good mindset, I want to write a post just outlining some things which basically boils down to a goodbye letter to Supernatural fandom.

Long rambling post below the cut...

This year (and the last) has just taken it out of me in terms of general negativity online both in fandom and in the real world. At first I got tired of fandom (mostly because Twitter is a cesspool of policing and bullying) and then I got tired of everything else (the world sucks right now, and my mental health basically stopped me from being able to participate in any form of online activism – just because I’m not blogging about something, doesn’t mean I don’t support the cause ya know?). Earlier this year, right around the time of the UK lockdowns, I had surgery and a recovery period in which I spent a lot of time with family, and just reacquainted myself with the real world. I think perhaps the coronavirus pandemic made me realise that long before lockdown began I had already been isolating myself from my real life and diving further and further into an online black hole.

It was years in the making. Supernatural fandom preoccupied my thoughts for such a long period of time it got to the point where every moment of my non working time seemed to be spent either online scrolling my tumblr dash or twitter feed, or reading fanfic or doing something fandom related. I invested so much of myself into this show and fandom that I think I forgot who I was before I was a Supernatural fan completely.

After my wake up call in late 2019, which lead me to break free from an extremely nasty clique, I have tried to re-enter fandom on my own terms, as well as attempt to enjoy the source material and the fandom creations to ignite some new spark of love and interest in the show. Yet as much as I have tried, I have failed to do so.

I was thinking recently about someone I used to follow years ago before I ever created a blog. When I was still just lurking in the tumblr shadows and followed the likes of Mittens, Lizbob, and other meta writers of the period, there was a blogger whose name I can’t remember but she was the funniest blogger I had come across. But when the show killed off Charlie Bradbury, she quit. I had never even interacted with her, as I was barely getting my blog started at the time, but I’ll never forget a post she wrote about her feelings on the show. She had recently started watching something else (I think it was Sense8 but can’t recall entirely), and that this new show had given her everything she had never thought she could have from her fave before. She wrote about how her relationship with Supernatural had become abusive. That for years the writers of Supernatural continued to throw punches at fans like her – women, LGBTQ+ people, people of colour, and yet she continued to give it all her time and attention, brushing off the punches because she was so damn devoted to the characters. Then this new show had come along, and it was like she had seen the light. The killing of Charlie Bradbury was the last straw, and she dumped Supernatural’s ass and fled into the arms of her new love.

I hope she is doing fantastically today.

What she wrote has resonated with me for years. I was a fairly new Supernatural fan at the time, and therefore didn’t really understand what she meant. A TV show can’t be abusive. Can it?

Of course, we are speaking in metaphor here, and in no way are these metaphors meant to reduce or limit the truly serious situation of actual abusive relationships, but every now and then, when a new episode of Supernatural has left me feeling upset, disappointed, frustrated and grossly let down, in some cases affecting my mood for days at a time, and therefore my mental health. I have thought back to those words she wrote and quietly agreed with them in my head. Yes. This is a metaphorically abusive relationship.

When I discovered earlier this year that Castiel was most likely going to be killed off in some sort of bullshit self sacrifice before the end of the show, I was extremely distressed. When I found out that my favourite person of all time Misha Collins, supported this ending for Castiel, and may have even been the one who pushed for it, I was more than distressed, I felt betrayed by the person I cared about most. I’ll admit to you all now that in my weakest moments I have fantasized about standing in front of Misha and screaming at him exactly just what kind of affect his “ideal ending” for Castiel will have on his fanbase, on their mental health, and potentially their own safety. This fantasy has me guilt tripping him and doing everything in my power to make him feel utterly shit about the decision. I know what you are thinking – don’t blame Misha, the guy has his own problems and we all know he projects his own self esteem issues onto Cas – and yes, I know this, like I said its only a fantasy to get me through my darkest moments. I don’t hate Misha at all. But perhaps I do love him a little less nowadays than I did back at the height of my fandom life. That’s at least still a little bit more than my feelings for Jensen and Jared which now I can only describe as complete indifference.

I am admitting all of this now knowing full well it will ignite shock and anger among the more die hard fans of J2M, to explain why I need to just leave this fandom completely, or more accurately, why I have already left fandom.

Over the past 10 months of 2020, I have watched a lot of TV (there isn’t much else to do during a lockdown when you are on crutches with your foot in a cast!) and the one thought that occurred to me over and over again was “this show is so much better than Supernatural”.

I kept comparing everything I watched, from the quality of the scripts, the actors, the special effects, to the inclusiveness of the shows. Just so many beautiful and interesting stories that seem to understand their audience, and understand how to entertain and impress without resorting to cringe humour, outdated jokes, and prejudice, not to mention misogyny and queerbaiting – yup, I said it.

The thing is, I think these thoughts have been creeping over me slowly for longer than just this year, but I have been desperately batting them away the way Dean Winchester bats away his own gay thoughts. Unlike Dean though, eventually I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I cannot continue to carve out space in my own soul for this show, which incessantly beats me down regardless of my devotion. The creators, the network, the writers, and sometimes even the cast, have all shown that they don’t care about me as a fan. I’m not some gun toting dudebro living in middle America, so why should they give a damn about me? I’m clearly not their target audience, nor have I ever been.

I know many of you will vehemently deny my personal opinion of Supernatural now. That is absolutely fine. I am sorry to be admitting it, but I had to. I feel like once I finally write out these words, I have got it off my chest and can close and lock the door on Supernatural for good.

Without Supernatural, I am able to focus on my real life, I am able to find pleasure in other things, new things, interesting things, that bring me joy and joy alone – not disappointment and frustration. I found a new job this year, which has been a huge accomplishment as I was stagnating in my old one, and several new hobbies under my belt. I moved to a new flat, I have a lovely flatmate who has been a godsend throughout lockdown, and I have rekindled friendships that I was neglecting due to my Supernatural obsession.

All in all, I am finding post-Supernatural life far more rewarding and content than my life in fandom. It has taken me a while, but I am over the show. And whilst I will always hold a special place in my heart for Castiel, it will be as I know him in my own mind; as the wonderful, strong, powerful and determined angel with a soul, who loves so strongly, and who is worth so much more than his own creators give him credit for. He is up there with Aziraphale and Crowley, with The Doctor, and Buffy, as one of the greatest characters of all time.

So the Supernatural writers and creators can take whatever ending they have decided upon, and shove it up their asses. I am sorry to say that Sam and Dean Winchester are also lost to me. Any love I had for them was destroyed by their later season depictions. Castiel alone is the only character worthy of that space in my heart now. If in time he longs for a companion, I will find one for him, but it won’t be the Dean Winchester of the canon show. Canon Dean hasn’t been deserving of Cas for a long time now.

Perhaps I am still a little bitter about the ending. Perhaps the finale won’t be the disaster I expect it to be, perhaps Dabb will somehow turn it all around last minute following whatever travesty Bucklemming have given us in 15x19. Either way, I won’t be watching.

So this is me saying goodbye to this blog, at least until I have decided what else to do with it. It certainly won’t be a Supernatural fandom blog anymore. It wasn’t all wasted though. I did get a wonderful friendship group out of this fandom, and I have certainly expanded my knowledge of film and television analysis, as well as having enjoyed a great many memes.

I guess in the end, my internal war with my inner bitter Cas girl finished with her winning, and writing this post. Once it is posted however, I will put her to sleep with thoughts of a happy Castiel, who has swapped his wings for a beating human heart, and is living on a beach somewhere beautiful, refurbishing an old Victorian house, and greeting his kindly elderly neighbours. There’s a gay bar on the main strip, and the bartender is quite a dish. Green eyes and light brown hair with a killer smile. Castiel thinks he looks familiar, like a memory from a past life, but they’ve definitely never met, because this man is kind.

Now that she is asleep, there is nothing left for me here. Goodbye everyone. Whether you manage to enjoy the finale or not, I truly hope you too, find your peace.

#personal #a goodbye message to fandom

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callonpeevesie · 4 years

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Things that bother me about Percabeth

Warning: this is going to be long and I'm not even sure if this will make sense. Also don't read this if you aren't open to criticizms of Percabeth.

Percabeth is a good ship, or at least has potential as one, but it has many legit flaws (this and this go into the flaws. By the way, go check out @takaraphoenix's Riordan crit) and I have some personal grievances. I'll write this out to understand my stance better because I need to get this off my chest.

I believe most people wouldn't agree with me on all this, but this post is entirely self-indulgent and I'm doing this for catharsis, so don't come at me. This isn't an objective analysis, just me trying to clear my thoughts. But feel free to share your opinions if you want.

Evolution in PJO

This is a pretty general point. I love the evolution of their dynamic in pjo. Their bickering, them opening up to each other and becoming so important to each other, the slow and steady buildup, it's great. Heck, I love slow burn. They have some good moments in pjo: Annabeth opening up to Percy on the zoo express, the scene with the sirens, Percy doing everything he did to save Annabeth in ttc, their conversation after Annabeth took the knife for Percy in tlo. (The underwater kiss is not one of my favourite moments, I'll come to that later.)

The romantic evolution, though, I'm not sure. I enjoyed it in ttc, there were small subtle hints like Aphrodite's scarf, or Aphrodite looking like Annabeth to Percy. But it became kind of tiring in botl onwards. Annabeth was extremely possessive and awful to Rachel. And in tlo things became a bit over-the-top.

I think Rick tried to establish them as the Most Important Person to each other. I don't like that. This is more apparent in HoO. I'll come to hoo later, but there is one instance of this in tlo: Percy seeing Annabeth in the Styx. Like one of the posts I've linked above says, it's shippy nonsense. It comes from the idea that one's romantic partner must be the most important. It doesn't make sense. I think Percy should have seen his mother in the Styx. It would make sense for Sally to be Percy's anchor, considering how much she means to him.

In short, their enemies-to-friends evolution was great, their friends-to-lovers evolution started out fine but became too much for me, and their friends-to-Most-Important-Person-to-each-other evolution was unnecessary and forced.

Luke

Luke and Annabeth's romantic subplot didn't need to exist. This isn't exactly Percabeth, but I'll say it here anyway. First of all, there's a seven year age gap, so Luke returning Annabeth's feelings is creepy. And it seems pretty unnecessary to me. It's also a bit of a mess. In tlt Annabeth blushes when Luke is around, and Luke says 'She's like my little sister.' In tlo Luke asks Annabeth if she loved him, and she says 'You were like a brother to me.' This part feels like Rick trying to add last-moment tension to Percabeth by making Luke a potential 'rival' to Percy. In the Staff of Hermes Percy says Annabeth had a crush on Luke, and as she got older, Luke had a crush on her too. Just ... Why?

They and Thalia were each other's first friends. Annabeth looked up to Luke and Luke was fond of Annabeth. That is enough reason for Annabeth to be hurt and for Luke to care about Annabeth. That is enough to set up their post-betrayal dynamic. The romance thing was completely unnecessary.

Rachel

I absolutely hate the way Annabeth treated Rachel. If there is one thing I despise about romantic subplots, it's justifying bitchiness with romantic jealousy. I guess it's okay to feel a little jealous or even possessive, and I can kind of see where Annabeth was coming from, but treating someone like shit because of that, especially in the middle of dangerous quests, is not okay. It's petty and immature. (It could be argued that Annabeth was mad because Rachel got to lead her quest, but let's be honest, she wouldn't have been that mad if it were anyone else. She specifically treated Rachel like that out of jealousy.) It was never called out and Annabeth never seemed to regret it. This bothers me so much. Fanfiction is a good coping mechanism, I suppose, but I'm here to complain about canon, not cope with it.

Speaking of Rachel, Perachel could have been a good ship. A demigod looking for a normal life and a mortal with clear sight. This elaborates on that pretty well. At the end of tlo it really felt like Rick had to get Rachel out of the way to make way for Percabeth.

Annabeth seems to be too demanding

Annabeth's attitude towards Percy bothers me sometimes. She's a good character and has a strong dynamic with Percy, but she's a bit tiring with regards to Percy (in a romantic sense; she's fine as his friend). I mean look at this quote from tlo:

I can't pretend I hadn't thought about Rachel. She was so much easier to be around than ... Well, than some other girls I knew. I didn't have to work hard, or watch what I said, or wrack my brain trying to figure out what she was thinking.

Percy feeling that way about Annabeth - his best friend of four years - just doesn't sit well with me. Percy straight up admits he's more comfortable with Rachel than with Annabeth.

There's more: Annabeth punching Percy when he asked who he should dance with in ttc, the way she treated Rachel, the way she behaved towards Percy regarding Rachel in botl, judo flipping him in moa. It's pretty tiring in general. Now that I think of it, this wasn't a thing before the romance showed up. Their dynamic was better in the earlier books in general.

Also personally I'm not a fan of Annabeth constantly calling Percy Seaweed Brain. This and this nicely sum up how I feel about that. Annabeth making fun of Percy's intelligence even after getting to know him makes no sense, especially as he was insecure about his intelligence. (And yes, I know she thought he was intelligent, as she said in the Demigod Files, but that doesn't cancel out the million times she called him stupid to his face.)

They became too couple coded

I've seen people say that Percabeth is better as friends than as lovers, and honestly I agree, and I've done some thinking to figure out why. I think it's because of the way they were written after they became a couple. They could have been fine as a couple, if they were written differently.

They started out not being able to stand each other, then gradually, they went through a lot together, got to know each other, learned to work together, and became a team. That was a great evolution, like I said before.

And like I also said before, everything I dislike about Percabeth showed up with the romance. Annabeth became catty and possessive. They became a couple. And it was as if the friendship wasn't there anymore, just the romance. They became like a cliche unreasonable girlfriend and clueless boyfriend. This is especially obvious in the beginning of Percy Jackson and the Staff of Hermes. Where's the friendship? Where's the comfortable bantering? Where's the known-each-other-for-years soundness? Hoo Percabeth just doesn't live up to pjo Percabeth at all.

(Also this is a personal bias of mine, but I'm partially romance repulsed. I can't stand cheesy romantic coded stuff. I only like lovers if they're also friends. So I guess I'm kind of pissed about Percabeth becoming so couple coded after becoming a couple.)

Their HoO dynamic

This is a related point. Like I said, hoo Percabeth doesn't live up to pjo Percabeth. All they care about is each other. They literally don't think about anyone else at all. Percy loses his memory and he remembers Annabeth. Why? Does Hera ship Percabeth? If he remembered anyone, it should have been his mom, like in the Styx. The only reason Percy remembered Annabeth, i.e Annabeth was made out to be more important to Percy than everyone else (including Grover and Tyson and Sally 'best person in the world' Jackson) is that she was his romantic partner. Again, it's shippy nonsense.

And there's this reveal that Annabeth had a crush on Percy all along. Are you kidding me? It completely retcons the enemies-to-friends development. Are you telling me that the Percabeth evolution in pjo where they learned not to hate each other was a lie? That Annabeth gradually opening up to Percy and coming to appreciate him was her acting out of a crush? I'm not believing that, no way.

I'm probably not making any sense, but my point is that Percabeth in hoo in cheesy and can't go one day without each other and people love it but I don't. It kind of messes up their previous dynamic, which is a shame because I liked pre-hoo Percabeth.

Rick seems to go overboard sometimes

I'm about to get a little controversial here. Many of the Percabeth posts in those tumblr screenshots going around social media are about the campers shipping Percabeth, or Arachne making Percabeth fanart, things like that. My theory is that part of the reason Percabeth is so popular is that the characters ship it. And Rick kind of goes overboard with that - not just with the in-universe shipping, with the ship itself.

Prime examples of going overboard are Percy seeing Annabeth in the Styx and remembering Annabeth when Hera took his memory, which imply that Annabeth was objectively the Most Important Person to Percy. I've already ranted about these above so moving on to the part about the in-universe shipping. Like I said, I'm not a fan of the underwater kiss. It's because of the situation involved. The campers just won a war and lost their friends and siblings, Clarisse just lost Silena, you'd think they'd have other things to care about than Percy and Annabeth kissing, at least for one day. And why did Arachne make fanart of that? How did she even know? There was also the matter of moving to New Rome - them wanting to move halfway across country to live together, away from New York, doesn't really make sense to me. This post elaborates on that and suggests better alternatives.

Of course, the author has complete control over the narrative, and the author wants you to believe they are making sense. And when the characters believe that too, it becomes harder for readers not to. When all the campers ship Percabeth, it's enough to convince half the readers to ship it too. (And of course, the pjo fandom has an unhealthy thing with canon ships.)

It's pretty much kept up by the fans

While we're at it, let's talk about the out-of-universe shipping. The fandom has always shipped Percabeth, partly just because they are the male lead and female lead of a series. Percabeth was set up to happen, so when Rick introduced Rachel, who actually made Percy feel good about himself and let him be himself around her, and whom Percy was interested in, he had to get her out of the way. I'm not sure I can explain it, but the Percabeth ending in the first series feels very fan service-y to me.

Platonic Percabeth vs romantic Percabeth

I think everything I've said above just explains why Percabeth worked better as friends. The had a great friendship arc and became two friends who know each other inside out, butt heads a lot but love and respect each other deeply. And then when the romance happened, Annabeth began to show these romanticized but actually toxic girlfriend stereotypes - being jealous and possessive, expecting Percy to read her mind and getting pissed when he can't, etc.

The fandom thinks those traits are okay, because they are normalised in society. People think that's how couples should work (it's not). And so the reasons I don't like Percabeth are the same reasons many people do. The date in the beginning of Staff of Hermes makes me cringe, because they were friends first and friends don't work like that. But no doubt there are many people who find it cute because society loves to romanticise the unreasonable girlfriend and clueless boyfriend trope. There are plenty of people who romanticise Annabeth judo flipping Percy or treating Rachel like shit, because things like that are normalised but I personally can't stomach them at all.

Anyway, those toxic traits come with the Percabeth romance as a package deal and there's no getting rid of them. That's why Percy and Annabeth worked better as friends, and why I feel things would be better if they just stayed friends. There was none of that tiring crap pre-romance. I can't stress this enough, I really loved their friendship in tlt or som. But when their dynamic evolved to romance, it messed up their friendship. There was a specific moment in botl when Percabeth began to feel off for me.

'She will calm down,' Chiron promised. 'She's jealous, my boy.'

'That's stupid. She's not... it's not like...'

Chiron chuckled. 'It hardly matters. Annabeth is very territorial about her friends, in case you haven't noticed. ...'

I don't know why this moment specifically, but this kind of marked a change for me. This is where Percabeth became seriously romantic, and I didn't like the related developments. This was the beginning of Annabeth's jealousy.

So what would I prefer?

I'll be honest, I shipped Percabeth for a while, probably because I love some friends-to-lovers. So I was going to make a list of things I'd change about Percabeth. I wanted to make some self-indulgent UAs (universe alterations) to fix the things I don't like. But then I started writing this thing and read up on other posts and stuff and I realised the list of things that bother me is huge and I could never make Percabeth work for me without messing everything up. So I just gave up shipping it entirely.

What I would prefer is an AU where Percabeth stays platonic forever (@elf-loving-dragon has been encouraging that idea as well). They were great as friends and I want that back. It would be so refreshing to have the male lead and female lead not end up together. Annabeth could end up alone, and still get her something permanent with her friends and camp. It would be so beautiful if something completely romance-free was specifically stated as permanent, because friendships in media deserve as much love as romance.

As for Percy, he could end up either alone or with Rachel. I don't ship him with anyone else rn. While I have made it obvious that I like Perachel, I still don't know if I actually ship it, and the idea of Percy ending up alone is not too bad either. (Update: I stan platonic Percabeth and qpp Perachel now.)

I promise I'm done now. Whew. If you've made it to the end of this long repetitive introspection, congratulations. If you agree, feel free to tell me, and if you want to argue, go ahead, I wouldn't mind listening to others' opinions. If you read this and hate me because of this just keep that to yourself. I have no patience for people who attack those who don't agree with their ship. K thanks, bye.

#pjo #heroes of olympus #hoo #tagging as #anti percabeth #so shippers can avoid this #percy jackson #platonic Percabeth ftw #rr critical #perachel #sally jackson #rachel elizabeth dare #peevesie writes #original content #annabeth bashing

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curvedroygbiv · 4 years

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JK Rowling is dominating my dash right now. And not that any one cares about my 2 cents, but -

JK Rowling is an excellent case study of authorial intent, changing social tides, and the debate between bad representation vs good representation.

But I think there’s one other thing that get’s lost in there, I dunno if there’s a real term for it, but it’s how people grow and evolve over time, and how the internet makes that both harder and easier.

I didn’t grow up in an ultra conservative or overly bigoted environment, but it’s easy to absorb a lot of those values and ideas just from the background radiation that is mainstream media. I wouldn’t be who I am today with out the internet, and all the people on it, who laid down the foundation of education, activism, and really just sharing stories of their own lives as real people who are impacted by oppression and injustice so I can be exposed to experiences outside my own bubble. I know “keyboard activist” is thrown around like it’s an insult these days, but I’ll never not be aware that online discourse and tumblr specifically has shaped my political and world views more than anything else.

It didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t pretty. Shedding layer after layer of what I know now are mainstream anti-feminism and bigotry was a long and awkward process. I can put my foot in my mouth easily and often talking about everyday topics; trying to wade through forums and blogs and comments was always going to have me opening my big mouth to say something I’m not proud of. But you know what? I learned. I grew. And most of those conversations exist now only in my memories, an anonymous nobody drowned in obscurity, lost to time, sometimes bombed from orbit as a site shuts down or is wiped out. No big loss, to be honest.

But what if they weren’t? What if I was a celebrity? What if everything I wrote or typed was immortalized and canonized and put on display for the world to see? What if my words, good or bad, existed forever and ever, for people to dig up and use as “proof” that this is what I said and believed then, so It must be what I believe now?

In short, What if i was JK Rowling?

Joanne Katherine Rowling has never been a perfect person or a perfect author. Her books were always flawed. She never did enough, never did it right, never created anything that wasn’t problematic somehow. Her works are a reflection of who she was and what she believed in the moment. But am I supposed to think that they are a reflection of who she is today? 13 years ago she wrote a redemption arc for an incel, retconned a straight character gay after the fact, flubbed an aids metaphor, flubbed a slavery metaphor, and tied off a series about anti-fascism with “and then they did nothing about any of the underlying causes and had babies ever after the end”. 13 years ago I was a dumbass voicing my dumbass opinions on representation, affirmative action, religion, and really really wanted to make sure that I “wasn’t like other girls”. Oh, god, the fanfiction, the homophobia in my fan fiction, cackling as I pwned the yaoi fangirls for having such dumb opinions about /my/ favorite characters.

Am I a bad person? Are those long-forgotten footprints an indelible mark on my character?

Intent isn’t magic. “But I’m different now” is the empty rancid promise of every fan-favorite character that gets an undeserved redemption arc. “oh, it was different time, that’s just how things were” is wrong for straight white men and it’s wrong for everyone else. But if change is worth doing then it has to have some value somewhere. If someone interacted with me or my online presence they would have a very different picture of what I believe and who I am, compared to what they would have gotten 13 years ago. It would be almost impossible to dig up my old comments and indiscretions and link them back to me. I would almost appear to have been born full formed at the exact level of “woke” that I am today. Ironically as a internationally renowned celebrity and millionaire this is one luxury JK Rowling can never have.

I’m not going to pretend that contributing to the ugliness in the word is something the perpetrators can put behind them when they fell like they, personally, have moved beyond that. And just because people change doesn’t mean they always change for the better. But 13 years is a long time to be absorbing and studying and evolving, and the internet makes it easier every day to interact with tens of thousands of people who’s lives and testimonies you never would have encountered if you were just meeting them in person one by one. A lot has happened in 13 years too. We take for granted that “woke” media has a chance to get published, for one thing. We seem to have forgotten that once upon a time her books were already so controversial as to be banned over and over.

So yeah. She wrote a lot of fat characters as being evil and slovenly, compared to thin characters being, if not good, at least intelligent and worthwhile. She had every last Slytherin, right down to the first years, slink off instead of fighting in the final fight. She had Voldemort be “born evil” because of something his parents were on when he was conceived. She had Ron/Hermione as endgame and then said that she regretted it and they would probably never work out long term. She named a child Albus Severus and expected people to be good with that. Why the fuck did she think we needed to know about wizard toilets? She is, and continues to be, an imperfect person and problematic writer. But to pretend that she, in 2020, can’t possibly be sympathetic to LGB issues, well-informed on trans activism, and more committed than ever to feminism and the liberation of women, just because 13 years ago she didn’t have the foresight to put more empty performative sjw talking points into an already bloated manuscript?

I’m standing /right here/.

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saiyanprincessswanie · 5 years

Text

A Christmas To Remember

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Words: 4,882

Warnings: FLUFF, Smut, Family drama

Summary: With a last minute invite to a family Christmas party you scramble to find someone to fill in as a fake boyfriend. Bucky Barnes steps into the role and plays it perfectly as he answers questions from the family and even stands up for you.

For the Christmas Prompt for @honeyhan-123 “Christmas holiday Spirit“Fake girlfriend/boyfriend to survive the holiday interrogations by families”

A/N: Beta read by the lovely @mdemontespan1667 Page-break by @whimsicalrogers

Reblogs & Comments on Tumblr are welcomed and encouraged. 😊💜

I do NOT give my consent to have my work translated or reposted on any social media platform, apps or third party sites. If you see my work anywhere else besides my personal Tumblr & AO3 accounts then it has been stolen. I will NEVER give written or verbal permission to repost or translate any of my fanfics as they’re MY intellectual property. 🚫🚫

You were in full panic mode as you hung up the phone with your mother. Your mom had called you moments ago dropping the last-minute invite for the family holiday party that they were throwing earlier than usual. Your parents would be leaving for Europe Sunday morning and wouldn’t be back till after the New Year. The party was formal and would be held at a ballroom in some fancy hotel in New York. What got you was when she said, “I can’t wait to meet this boyfriend you have been raving about for months. Make sure he comes as the family will be at the party as well.”

Damn it, why did you have to lie about having a boyfriend. You thought about your sister who was deemed the perfect one. She got engaged months ago to some rich guy that would inherit his family business. Your wealthy parents, had been so proud that she snagged the most eligible bachelor in New York City. Her engagement announcement led back to you like most things.

You were different, as soon as you graduated from high school you enlisted in the Army. After 8 years you got out and applied to become an Avenger. You had always wanted to make a difference in this world. Money to you wasn’t everything. That alone made your parents mad. They entertained you when you were in the Army. When you got out they expected you to go to college to make something of yourself. They even tried setting you up on dates with other families of wealth but you were having none of it.

Thankfully with your background in the military, you were hired on and worked hard to get on the Avengers team. Natasha was one of your best friends now and you were thankful to her as she took you under her wing when you joined. She trained you harder and pushed you to your limits but you wouldn’t have it any other way. The rest of the team was great. Steve was an excellent leader and like the brother you never had. Tony, well, he was a giant pain in your ass so you and Sam would always do things to drive him up a wall. Clint was like the cool uncle and he was also one of your trainers.

Then there was Bucky, what can you say really. He was hot. His blue eyes would make you freeze in your spot any time you made eye contact. He wasn’t much of a talker at first but since being on the team for over a year now it’s like he wouldn’t shut up. You had a major crush on him but never pursued it. Let’s face it Bucky was in a whole different category than you when it came to looks. Not that you weren’t cute but you swore the Gods had chiseled him from stone. So instead of making things awkward, you decided to be in the friend zone.

You left your room and made your way to the shared living area. Natasha was reading a book in a chair so you made your way over to her. Groaning you threw your body onto the couch beside the chair. “Please put me out of my misery and make it quick.”

Natasha couldn’t help but chuckle, “No, I think I will let you live and suffer like the rest of us.” Closing her book she looked over to you, “Did the phone call go that bad with your mom?”

You huffed, “You have no idea. They expect me to show up at this holiday party they are putting together tomorrow.”

Nat quirked an eyebrow at you, “It’s just a party y/n. You have been to hundreds between your parents and Tony. What is one more?”

Rolling to your back you sighed, “That’s not it Nat. They told me to bring my boyfriend. The fake boyfriend that you told me to make up to get my parents off my back when my sister got engaged. What am I going to do? We both know I’m single and will die alone surrounded by a dozen cats.” You put your arm over your eyes dramatically.

“Well, why don’t you ask one of the guys? I bet Bucky would go with you. He has done the undercover thing a few times. All you need is a stand-in for the night and then you can make up a story later about a breakup.” You had to admit you liked Nat’s idea. This could work and you wouldn’t look like a loser at the party.

“I highly doubt Bucky would want to go with me. Plus its the last minute.”

“What wouldn’t I want to do?” Bucky’s voice interrupted your train of thought and you moved your arm and looked up at his smiling face.

“Y/n has a party she needs to attend tomorrow. She needs a fake boyfriend because she never told her parents she was single yet.” Nat sat there smugly.

Groaning you felt embarrassed, “It’s not a big deal. I can just say I was dumped before Christmas. Maybe they will find pity on me and spare me the lectures this year.”

Nat shook her head, “You know it’s just going to be worse.”

You grabbed a pillow off the couch and threw it at her. Nat swatted it away with amusement. “You are not helping! Seriously, you could poison me, strangle me, oh I know! How about you smother me in my sleep that way I don’t feel a thing.”

“Or how about I just go with you?” Bucky interrupted.

Looking at his face you watched as he smiled at you. Was he joking? “What’s your game Bucky?”

Bucky is still grinning at you, “No game, I just…um figured I could help is all. I have no plans.”

“Come on, it’s just a party.” Nat smiled as you rolled your eyes at her.

“Fine, the party is tomorrow evening. Formal wear as always and no I have no clue what I’m wearing for you to match the tie. I would just do a black tie. Are you sure you want to do this?” Sitting up you watched Bucky nod at you the grin never leaving his face.

“Absolutely Doll. I have to head out for the night with Steve as we are doing local surveillance. We will be back tomorrow morning.” He winks at you and walks out of the living room.

“See I told you he would. Now let's go dress shopping, that will perk you up.” Nat gets off her chair and she grabs your arm pulling you to your feet.

“No, you like to go dress shopping because you like to watch me cringe,” crossing your arms you follow her out of the living room.

“True I can’t help myself. Let’s go.” Nat grabs your upper arm and starts pulling you. Sighing to yourself you just let her drag you. This had to be done and now that you had a date you couldn’t back out now.

The next day was chaotic. You started your day like usual with a run on the treadmill. Nat had decided to skip training for the day as she didn’t want you bruised or injured before the party. You tried to clear your head the best you could with your run and by the time you hit 5 miles you felt better.

The day went by rather fast. Your dress was a beautiful long red dress with a plunging neckline and a slit that came up the mid-thigh. It was classy but you were afraid of it showing off too much. Nat had told you that it was stunning on you when you tried it on so you went with her opinion. She did your hair in soft curls and kept it loose. You did a once over in the mirror when you were changed. You had to give it to Nat, you did look good.

You made your way to the living room and you were greeted by your team. It felt like you were about to go to prom with everyone standing around talking as they await you. You looked past them and caught Bucky’s eye. The tension you felt earlier now melted away. Walking into the room you could hear gasps, compliments and a whistle from Sam.

Bucky never took his eyes off you and walked to you. He was in all black, from the shirt, tie and jacket. It was him. He wore a black glove on his left hand to hide vibranium hand. “You look beautiful doll,” his smile reached his eyes and you couldn’t help but bite your lip.

“You look handsome Bucky. Are you sure you still want to do this?” You were trying to give him an out.

Bucky shook his head, “I’m sure doll.” He gave you his arm so you could walk arm an arm.

“Have fun you two and Bucky remember what I said?” Steve yelled after you both.

As you both got onto the elevator Bucky hollered back, “Shut it Punk I know!”

The elevator doors closed and you looked up to him, “What did Steve say?”

Bucky looked nervous and swallowed, “Um, nothing important. Just be on my good manners. You know how he gets.” You did know how they ribbed each other but you didn’t think that was it. You didn’t press further as you both made your way to the party.

You don’t know why you thought it was going to be a smaller party but when you and Bucky walked in together your eyes went big. It was more than just family. It was their friends and associates. Great, just what you needed more rich snobs. “I don’t know if I can do Buck.”

He looked down at you and made eye contact, “Of course you can you have me. Just try to approach this as a mission. We mingle, have a few drinks and we can leave. No one is making you stay longer than you feel comfortable.”

Smiling at him you knew he was right. You were arm an arm walking down the stairs into a huge ballroom. You smiled and did a quick hello to people you vaguely remember when you heard your mother.

“Y/n, darling you made it!” Your mother made her way over to you and Bucky. She was wearing a black dress and had her brown hair in an updo.

You tighten your grip onto Bucky and he lightly patted your hand with his other one. “Mom, you look lovely tonight.” She kissed you lightly on your cheek.

“Thank you, sweetie and you look, um nice. Don’t you think it’s showing off the goods a little?” She was looking you over and you knew no matter what you wore it wouldn’t be to her liking.

“Well, I think she looks beautiful.” Bucky chimed in and your mother just stares at him, “I’m James Barnes, y/n’s boyfriend.” He gives her a big smile and you watch as she looks him over.

“Ah yes, the boyfriend. I have heard so much and yet so little about you. I’m Evelyn. Y/n doesn’t give us much detail about her everyday life. She said that you two have been together for 6 months now I believe. I was starting to think she made you up.” She looked at you and smiled.

“Well as you can see mom he is real. So where is dad?” You looked around you not seeing him.

She waved you off, “You know your father he is somewhere mingling and drinking.” Someone had called your mother, “I have to go say hi to Mrs. Hudson you two grab some drinks and relax.” Looking at Bucky your mother smiled, “I will be back to talk with you later.” She left you both standing there and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.

Bucky leans in and whispers into your ear, “Breathe doll.” You slowly breathed in and out. A waiter walked by carrying a tray with champagne and Bucky stopped him, grabbing two off the tray. He hands you one and you take it.

“Thanks, Bucky, this is just a lot and I know this isn’t easy on you being here.” Taking a sip from your glass you watch him as he smiles to you.

“Doll, I’m fine because I’m here with you. Now less worrying and let's enjoy ourselves.�� Bucky takes a drink from his glass. You knew the alcohol wouldn’t have any effect on him but he was doing it so you weren’t drinking alone. You downed yours in one gulp when you saw your sister Mia and her fiancé walking over to you.

She was dressed in a gorgeous emerald green gown that showed more skin then your dress. With no back, plunging neckline that went almost to her navel and a slit up the side you couldn’t help but internally grown. Your mother probably praised her even though hers showed more skin. Her fiancé was a blonde man standing at 6 feet tall and sporting a black suit. “Well isn’t it my lovely sister y/n. You know how to clean up from that job of yours.”

You couldn’t help the eye roll, “Mia you do know my colleague Tony Stark does throw parties a lot bigger and better than this so it wouldn’t be my first time dressing nice. We do where normal clothes beside the Avengers suit.”

“I didn’t mean it like that y/n. I just meant seeing you in the headlines fighting for the greater good and now is just a drastic change. Is this the famous Winter Soldier on your arm? I was expecting to finally meet your boyfriend.” She was looking to you and Bucky.

Bucky extended his hand to shake your sisters, “I am the boyfriend, James Barnes.” He took her hand and shook it and extended his hand to her fiancé as well.

“I’m Mia and this here is Brandon. Y/n didn’t say she was dating an Avenger. How delightful, you are the guy from the 1940s right? Isn’t it weird y/n to date someone that old? I mean no offense.” Mia gave you a grin as she knew how to press your buttons.

Bucky spoke before you could tell her to go pound sand. “Yes, I was from that era. Since you know who I am I’m sure you know my history... As for the ‘age gap’ you were talking about we have no problems. I assure you my stamina in the bedroom is that of a man in his twenties. The only thing the ‘age gap’ does is give me wisdom on how to thoroughly pleasure y/n.” Bucky had said it all with a straight face.

You were trying not to die of laughter as Mia looked mortified about the sex comment. Brandon looked uncomfortable as he choked on his drink.

“Well, I think I see Brandon’s parents if you would excuse us.” Your sister dragged her fiancé away and you started laughing out loud now.

“That I wish I had on camera. She looked so appalled and jealous.” You continued to giggle by his side.

Bucky looked down at you and smiled, “This is becoming fun. Honestly, I didn’t know your family was this bad. I always thought it was just stories but they are jackasses.”

You shrugged, “It’s one of those you have to see to believe. Oh dear god, what now, my mom is back but she has my dad in tow.” You smiled as soon as they came over.

Your dad was beaming at you both, “My little girl, look at how pretty you are.” He envelops you in a big hug, stepping back from you he looks at Bucky, “So this is the boyfriend I have heard so much about. You’re James from what I’m told by the wife. I’m William, most call me Will.” Extending his hand he shook Bucky’s vibranium hand.

“So I hear you both work for the Avengers. That’s a tough and dangerous job. I can see why you would get into it James, you have the look of a military man. I just don’t know why y/n chose that path.” Your mom looked smug at your father starting in on you. This happened every single party you attended.

“Dad, please can we not start this. It’s Christmas and we have had this conversation every time we get together.” You were pleading with him but your dad waved it off.

“I’m just pointing out the obvious dear. I know who he is.” Your dad gave Bucky the stare down. “See this is why we didn’t want you going to work for that Stark. You are not only in danger on those missions you do but look at who you are dating. Do you know how many men he killed? How many lives are lost? No offense James but I’m sure you realize she can do a lot better. She could date anyone else, have any other job she wanted but she just settled…”

Bucky had heard enough and cut him off, “William I’m going to have to stop you right there.” Your parents looked shocked at being cut off. “Your daughter is a bright young woman. She is fierce; she can go toe to toe with any man and hold her own. How do I know that? Because I helped train her in the beginning when she came to the Avengers compound. She has saved my ass in the field more than once and I am grateful to not only have her on my team but as my girlfriend. She is funny, kind, bright, loyal and considerate. Those are just some of her best qualities. She has so many more but I could be here all night naming them.”

You watched as Bucky defended you to your parents. You have never had someone stand up to them and lift you up at the same time. He spoke with such conviction that you wanted to cry tears of happiness.

“I may have killed men when I was brainwashed by Hydra but you know what. Your daughter still loves me for who am and not what I have done in the past. She has accepted me for all my flaws and has been there for me when I needed someone to lean on.” Bucky was trying to keep his cool as he spoke.

You couldn’t believe your parents were just taking what he was saying. This is the most you have ever seen them stay quiet. The more he spoke the more you wondered if he meant every word he was speaking.

“Could your daughter do better? I don’t know that is up to her. But I can tell you she deserves a lot better than you lot who have hounded her since she got here. She deserves happiness, to be loved and cherished every single day. I plan to do that till my dying breath.” Bucky leans down and kisses you with such passion in front of them. It was like he was the only person in the room. Slowly breaking from the kiss you looked into his blue eyes and you felt your heart flutter from the way he looked at you.

Looking back at your parent’s you held Bucky’s hand, “He’s right you know. He makes me happy and that should be the only thing that matters. Now if you will excuse us we need to go.” You walked away from them and made your way out of the ballroom. You were so confused by everything Bucky had told them. It was like he was speaking of you more than a friend. You both reached the entrance and waited for your car to be brought to you be a valet.

“Doll, are you okay? I know that was a lot to handle. I’m sorry that I went off on your dad like that but I couldn’t let him put you down another minute,” Bucky lightly squeezes your hand.

“Did you mean it? What you said?” Looking into his blue eyes as you spoke he smiled at you.

“Every word of it. Why don’t we go back to the compound and talk?” The valet pulls up to you both and Bucky leans down to softly kiss your lips again. Bucky opens your door for you and you climb in lightly touching your lips. Yes, you both would need to talk this out.

When you both arrived back at the compound you skipped going to the shared living room area where everyone was and went straight to Bucky’s room. You walked in the spacious room and went to the windows to look out over the water. You heard Bucky close the door and could see his reflection in the window. “Did you mean what you said? Now that we are away from all of that nonsense…I mean I understand if you did it to stand up for me…”

Bucky walked up to you lightly grabbing your arm and turning you to face him, “I told you I meant every word of it. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I'm in love with you.”

Looking up at him you felt tears form in your eyes. Love? You shake your head no at him, “You can’t love me. It’s impossible.” You tried to look away from him but Bucky lightly cupped your cheek and made you look at him again.

“It’s not impossible. When we were leaving Steve was telling me to remember what he told me. Well, he told me to stop holding back my feelings. I fell for you the first time I saw you walk into the training room. When I did the demonstration for a takedown and asked you to come at me. You didn’t hesitate and came at me so quickly you had me on the mat before I knew what happened.”

You smiled at the memory, “I thought you were mad at me after that. I mean you did avoid me for a little bit.”

“Mad? Are you nuts? I was turned on. Never had I had a new recruit take me down on the first try. If we were alone, I probably would have taken you right there on the mat. I avoided you because I couldn’t get you on top of me out of my head. ” Bucky was smiling at you.

Your cheeks heated up with what he said. You didn’t know you had that effect on him. It only made sense now as you think back to Bucky having Nat take over your training. Then, Bucky keeping his distance for a little bit. “I wished I would have known sooner as I have had the same feelings for you for about the same length of time.”

That caught him off guard, “Are you serious?” You nodded your head. Bucky leaned down and pulled you into a searing kiss. As you let out a little moan Bucky parted your lips with his tongue. He walks you back to the window and you are pressed between it and him.

Breaking the kiss briefly with him you look into his blue eyes, “What you said to Mia about your stamina is it true?”

Bucky broke into a huge grin, “It’s not only true but I will show you. I plan to find every spot that makes you come undone by morning.” You must have made a look when he said morning because he started to laugh. “That’s right, doll you heard me correctly. Now let's get you out of this dress.”

Bucky turned you to face the window and started to kiss your neck as his fingers began to unzip your dress. He kissed his way slowly down your neck and your shoulder. Soon as the zipper was undone the dress pooled to your feet and you stepped out of it. You were left topless, in heels and a pair of lacy underwear. Bucky licked his lips as he looked you over. You started walking to his bedroom and he was undressing as he followed you.

You got to the bedroom and sat at the end of the bed watching as Bucky was stripping his pants off. You couldn’t believe he was already down to his black boxer briefs. You kicked your heels off and waved him over with your finger.

Bucky walked to the end of the bed and kissed you with such passion your toes curled. He lightly pushed you down on the bed and started kissing his way down your body. He got to your breasts and lightly squeezed one as he took a nipple into his mouth. You couldn’t help but moan out at the way we sucked and lightly bit at you. He pinched your nipple with his fingers as he released the other with a pop of his lips.

You look down at him as he gives you a wicked smile. You watch as he kisses down your stomach and makes his way to your clothed pussy. You bite your lip as he slowly pulls your underwear down your legs and off you leaving you completely naked. Parting your legs Bucky settles himself between them kissing you from your inner knee and up to your thigh. He looks you in the eyes as he licks his first stripe up your slit. You let a groan from the feeling of it. Bucky licks you again and dives in like a man starved. Reaching down you run your hand into his hair as he dips his tongue in between your folds.

You let out a loud moan, “Oh god, Bu--Bucky!” His tongue is wonderful and hitting all the right spots. You feel him as he pulls away and thrusts two fingers into you. You arched your back in pleasure lifting your hips slightly off the bed. He uses his left arm to push you down and pins you as he fucks you with his fingers. He starts making a come hither with his fingers and you can feel your orgasm building. Latching onto your clit with his lips he sucks hard and you were done for. You felt your orgasm rip through you and he continued to work you through your orgasm till you went limp on the bed.

You were feeling pure bliss when you felt him move his way up the bed. “You taste amazing doll. I need to have you. Can I?”

Smiling up at him you nodded, “Please Bucky, I need you.” Bucky quickly took his underwear off and your eyes went wide. He was massive. You had no idea how he was going to fit in you and you swallowed hard.

Bucky chuckled, “Don’t worry doll, I promise to go gently with you.” He rubbed his cock through your slit to make him wet with your arousal. As soon as he was coated himself enough he watched you as he started pushing into your wet pussy. You gripped his forearms as you felt the burn of him pushing into your tight walls. You gasped out with the pain and pleasure as he continued to push in until he was seated fully.

He waited for you to adjust to his size. Nodding your head he pulled back and thrust back in. “Oh god Bucky,” you moaned out.

He set a slow rhythm thrusting in and out of you as he watched your face for a reaction. You looked into his blue eyes, wrapping your legs around his hips, “Bucky please, Har-Harder.”

It was like that was what he was waiting for and he picked up his pace. Bucky pounded into you hard as you groaned out in pleasure. This had to be the best sex you have ever experienced. With every hard thrust, he was making your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your walls were starting to tighten on Bucky as your second orgasm started to build, “Jesus doll, I don’t think I’m going to last much longer with you squeezing me like that.”

Watching his face you couldn’t help the smile, “Then let go Bucky.” Bucky reaches between you both and rubs a thumb hard over your clit as he picks his pace up. A few swipes and you are screaming his name as you orgasm. Bucky is close behind you with a few more thrusts and is falling over the edge panting your name. He nuzzles into your neck kissing you as you both come down from your high.

“That has to be the best sex I have ever had and I’m not just saying it cause you are still inside me.” You kiss his forehead and he rests himself on his arms watching your face.

“Who says we are done doll? Remember my stamina,” he gives you a grin as you feel him go hard inside you again. “I promised an all-nighter and I plan to keep that promise.”

The thought of how the night went at the party faded from your mind as Bucky took you again and again and again till the sun started to rise the next morning. This was definitely a Christmas to remember.

#james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #saiyanprincessswanie #Missy writes #bucky barnes x y/n #a Christmas to remember #bucky barnes x fem!reader

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nileqt87 · 4 years

Text

Despair For Castiel: A Review

From a series of posts before and after watching:

Before:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm now imagining the Empty having to deal with Gabriel and Balthazar redecorating the Empty into the angel/demon afterlife (probably with a lot of wacky alternate realities and bad porno) with all the free will angels and redemptive demons invited, Cas finding Meg and eventually Jack again for his true happy ending that he can have and Crowley probably trying to install himself as king again. Then when Rowena finally exits as Queen of Hell, she'll join and Crowley will annoyed, but Gabriel will be happy to see her again. LOL.

Megstielers also got robbed hard with all that setup of Cas still pining for Meg for YEARS, the Empty using her image (not Dean!) to taunt him (the Empty clearly saw Meg in Cas' head when it could have taken the form of anyone, including Cas like last time) and a whole dropped plot thread that Cas made a deal with Ruby to break a demon out of the Empty, which only makes sense with the one and only demon he'd actually want to let out of the Empty. That's dangling one 'ship a whole bunch of carrots (like every single Clarence reference for a decade) to rip the rug out from under them.

I suppose I should've seen it coming when the previously on segment for 15x13 was a Pizza Man and the Babysitter retrospective that shoved Cas out of the Pizza Man role beside Babysitter Nurse Meg to shove Dean into Megstiel's sexy times meme. I guess it turned Cas into just Dean's Baby in a Trench Coat (which was an insult about being useless to Dean's cause without powers, which suggests Cas has no worth to him otherwise), since he got infantilized with the removal of the Pizza Man originally being him.

I still haven't watched the episode. The Tumblr crap is that off-putting.

What should've been an epic moment in Cas' story is now tainted by his love of humanity, found family and free will (his real love story is with all of humanity and finding belonging, in spite of always being on the outside looking in on a life he can't have because he's not human) being reduced to horny girls who just want fetish smut with Dean and don't give a fig about canon Cas outside of a toxic, abusive crack!ship. It's always so immature and vapid!

It was immediately clear when I joined the fandom that shockingly few gave a crap about any character but Dean, even refusing to see what he's become in later seasons. Also numerous examples where they admit having not seen the show in a decade or only knowing the show via manipulative .gif sets. Cas and Sam (if they remember him at all) are just props or prizes to be won. They ignore context of familial/platonic relationships. Canon love interests aren't good enough because they're not the big prize of being a main. I also note the deluge of Wincest girls who hate Cas for existing (he's in their way) in the anti-Destiel tag.

I can't say the .gifs are making me want to watch, even though the dialog is vague enough to still fit Cas' actual character for the general audience who isn't glued to social media.

As for Dean's non-reaction, I had similar problems with Jensen's constipated acting back in 15x03 when Cas finally walked away while Dean looked like he couldn't care less, which the writers coincidentally praised Jensen for (holy crap that interview was up his backside) and completely ignored Misha actually giving a good performance in a scene that actually meant something long coming for Cas. I certainly can't say the same about the quality of this scene, which just looks forced on both ends.

I hope I like the episode more than the sounds of it, but my hopes aren't high. This is not how I wanted Cas' final moments on the show to be.

After:

Well, I got up the stomach to watch it tonight. Thankfully, in context, it definitely got blown way out of proportion by what the Hellers turned it into (as usual). Yeah, even when watching while unfortunately not blind to the wackadoodle fandom discourse, it played out better on screen than the .gifs. And frankly, a whole lot less like creepy Care Bear stare nightmare fuel than the few choice screenshots kept showing (yikes). I still wish Sam and Jack had been there, because they're just as much part of what connected Cas to feeling like part of a family (even more so in the later years), but it's not the total monstrosity it was turned into online.

Average viewers who just take canon as is without trying to read into it what they want to be there instead, IMO, will safely interpret it platonically (even if coming after a particularly hellish few years in Dean's personality rot where the whole friendship was beginning to be questionable) more often than not because that's what the canon has said for a dozen years. Again, I repeat that Cas already told the Winchesters he loved them when he thought he was dying.

It's a crime to have Cas' perfect philia (brotherly), storge (parental) and agape-style (sacrificial and unconditional) loves being immaturely twisted into eros in a way that degrades the whole meaning of the character's journey. People telling each other they love one another when it's not sexual should never be mocked into being afraid to do so because of this insidious, willful misinterpretation. If only somebody had told Cas they love him instead of him always being the one with his heart on his sleeve!

This character went from being tortured into a robotic, emotionless, ancient, not-remotely-humanoid being who couldn't relate to the simplest of human needs to being someone deeply in love with humanity and wanting to find belonging amongst it despite knowing it would always end with him watching them all grow old and die after having families and such experiences angels are forbidden from having (another reason why Jack was so important to Cas' story).

The wording is valid for that philia/agape interpretation, given Cas definitely equated Dean (whom Cas watched sacrificing himself for Sam endlessly, including why he had to be raised from perdition in the first place) with a guide role in his learning to understand humanity and proudly-defiant free will before he could love it. It's valid enough to say that Cas wouldn't have broken his programming permanently without being challenged to question everything he'd ever believed and give up his entire angelic belonging. That much of it did begin with Cas just happening to be the angel who succeeded in the Hell rescue.

Obviously, it's also canon that Cas had a long history of not following orders and getting lobotomized by Naomi, but Cas actually understanding humanity and what free will means did happen only after this particular rebellion. I'm very glad at least that was in the speech, but of course, it's being hopelessly ignored.

I stand by my interpretation that what Cas can't have has always been the tragic version of The Little Mermaid where she turns into sea foam in the end. Cas has always looked in on what everyone else takes for granted from the outsider's perspective. There's a part of him that will always be left out, no matter how well he learns to fit in and how much those around him begin to treat him as a real person. Cas never really got to truly belong with humanity, no matter how much he loves and is loved by it. He's also not getting to stay where he wants to be. There's no Pinocchio ending for Cas that turns him into a real Winchester.

Sadly, Dean's constant othering of him and Jack like they're just more monsters to hunt only alienated them more. Jack was someone Cas could relate to as a supernatural being capable of human emotions, which might also have furthered his draw towards Meg. Sam was also someone Cas could relate to as freaks and abominations amongst their own kinds. Sam always had that same struggle, also with his own family. It goes a long way towards explaining why Sam was always so empathetic to Cas and Jack in a way that Dean couldn't be. All three kept conflicting with that black & white humans = good/other = bad mindset that sometimes creeps in with Dean. When Cas was Dean's "best friend" in the early days, he rationalized it by thinking of Cas as being "like" a human ("You used to be human, or at least like one.").

Yet it still remains true that Cas often found himself looking to Dean to teach him about humanity back when he didn't know enough about it to be inconspicuous amongst them. Dean gave him the crash course in both what humanity is willing to do for each other, but also its flaws and failings at the same time.

Perhaps the saddest scenes in the episode were actually Sam watching everyone poof in front of him. Sam has really been forced to watch a lot of death scenes this season all by himself (as with Rowena), but he looked the most broken by Eileen's. Cas is going to be hard on him, because I genuinely think Sam was far closer to him in the end. Sam was the one who actually was trying to reach out to Cas when Dean repeatedly kept him out of the loop. Sam being left out from the final words with Cas or even hearing first-hand about the deal with the Empty just furthers that tragedy. While Dean has been raging at everything in sight, Sam and Cas have both looked broken, sad and tired all season.

#castiel #anti-destiel #dean critical #anti-dean winchester #megstiel #team free will #dean winchester #sam winchester #meg masters #jack kline #eileen leahy #saileen #spn #supernatural #spn 15x18 #spn s15 #s15 #despair

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lutrain2020 · 4 years

Text

Meet the Creator!

Introducing: Squido!

Commission: I haven't and don't really intend to. I don't want to take anyone's hard-earned money. Just ask me to draw things and there's a good chance I will.

Social Media: Tumblr: @sky-squido AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_squido/pseuds/sky_squido

Tell us a little bit about yourself!

Call me Squido! I love to draw and write but I'm also super extraverted and I love interacting with humans so always feel free to chat with me! Aside from drawing and writing, I just love being outside and have a tumblr sideblog dedicated exclusively to nature photos I take. I love mountains, the ocean, the sky, and just about everything else in this beautiful world of ours! If you ever feel like having an internet stranger give you a thousand word rant, ask me why my favorite color is blue and you will not be disappointed!

What got you into creating? what inspires you to keep creating?

I've been drawing for as long as I can remember and can't seem to stop, though I take long breaks sometimes I always seem to come back to it again. I try not to have anything in mind when I draw, but to start sketching and let the drawing happen. Sometimes I find that what I'm trying to draw is not what my drawing wants to be (if that makes any sense) and change what I'm making halfway through. It makes drawing a really relaxing and carefree therapeutic experience! Writing is different. I've always enjoyed writing, but I didn't write much and never shared my writing with anyone because I thought it was super pretentious. It wasn't until entering High School and joining the literature club and making a deal with a friend that we'd share our writing with each other that I actually gained any sort of confidence in my ability and sought to improve it. Being in that club and sharing my pieces at the open mics was a really encouraging experience! I invite everyone to share their writing, even if it's with some random internet stranger (I'm open anytime!) if they're unsure of their abilities. A little encouragement goes a long way! Now that I'm on Discord, ao3, and tumblr, I receive so much more feedback than I ever have before! It's been super encouraging! What inspires me most is definitely nature. Even if my ideas aren't directly related to the outdoors, I get my best ideas there. Fandoms are also a great idea generator. The sheer volume of headcanons and prompts is enough to make me dizzy with ideas!

What's your creative process like?

I love sketching. My favorite thing about drawing digitally is that I can sketch as much as I like and never worry about wasting materials! Often times my sketches turn themselves into drawings without permission and other times they stubbornly remain sketches for all eternity. I always dive right in because I have no patience and the idea I started out with generally isn't that great but in the process of pursuing it, it spirals out of control and sometimes the idea gets better and sometimes it gets worse but I just kinda roll with it. Creating is a really chill process for me and while I regularly scream stuff like "I'M DRAWING ON THE WRONG LAYER NONONONONONO" or "NO HECK FRICK SHOOT IT SMUDGED HECK HECK GET THE ERASER QUICK," the creative process is a great way for me to unwind. I'm the same way about writing. I never plan or outline and just kind of roll with things. I mean I generally have the basic jist in mind, but I try to not have a plan so I can keep the story driven by the characters and not force them into acting the way I wanted them to in the outline I made hours or even days ago. Creating is my opportunity to break free so I don't really see what good a plan or outline does me. I'm a pretty spontaneous person!

What kind of mediums do you like to use?

I like to take pictures, but it's not really my main focus. I've been mostly digitally drawing—I use my iPad Pro and Procreate—but lately I've been pencil sketching with just your average everyday mechanical pencil (I'd forgotten how nice the texture of paper was! Clearly I spent too much time drawing on my iPad!). I have these Stabilio chalk pastels I love to pieces, but have also spent a great deal of time with watercolors. Digital is my primary medium currently, though.

Is there a specific scene wrote that you are particularly proud of?

"Sky’s golden scales are glowing with reflected light from the sun while beneath them, the same pulsing blue in her mane runs like a river as her very skin is alive with electricity. The sun’s beginning to dip, fading through the color wheel from yellow to deep orange to scarlet and the world is bathed in watercolor and hue shifted through the rainbow until all that was blue becomes red. This new alien world begins to darken as red fades to deep purple-pink, the clouds catching last vestiges of gold in their pillowy folds, yet Sky continues rippling with lighting, the bright blue flowing like blood through her veins and the gold shimmering in the eerie azure glow. We weave through the winds and zephyrs and I close my eyes and let the breeze caress my hair and when I reopen them, I’m standing back on the ground again in a world long since darkened by night. I place my hand over my beating heart where Sky is still laughing with joy and smile because once you’ve awakened your dragon, you don’t need wings to fly anymore."

Is there someone who inspires you and your writing or art?

Every fanartist and fanfic writer that posts their stuff online is an inspiration to me. Even if their stuff isn't very good—especially if it isn't very good—it's a huge testament to the courage of the creator and their bravery in expressing themself! I sat on fanfic and fanart for years and never shared it and here were kids half my age putting out art that was their first experiment in a new medium and a little shaky but it was still out there and they were still being supported by the community and that really inspired me to reach out and stop lurking in fandom and actually get involved!

is there something that you struggled with that made you grow as a creator?

I feel like everyone has these periods where they were just gaining confidence in their artistic ability but suddenly everything they make is trash and they're not happy with any of it and they feel so down and worthless and "where did all of my hard-earned ability go? Will I ever get it back?" I think this is a pretty common experience and when I find myself there, I find it most helpful to share what I make anyway, even if I hate it, with someone who I know will give it to me straight because they'll point out the deeper problems—the root of the issue—that I hadn't even noticed and I can use that information to grow as an artist. Bad pieces are just as valuable as good ones. There was also a time where I had a lot of trouble developing a style. I did a lot of experimenting and never found anything I liked. What happened is I just kept drawing and whatever popped out eventually evolved into my style. I used to get frustrated that I couldn't draw anything without a reference, but after years and years of using references and drawing some of the same things over and over again, you won't need the references anymore. I mean, they're great and you should always feel free to use them, but over time, you won't need to look up a picture of every little thing you try to doodle.

What got you into writing or art?

My silly twitchy fingers can't ever seem to stop drawing! Same with writing. Words and ideas follow me around, little plot bunnies pestering me until they get written down somewhere. I was greatly inspired by the works of C.S. Lewis in my writing, especially his Cosmic Trilogy. My art style was aided by Hiromu Arakawa's Fullmetal Alchemist, which was a valuable stepping stone in developing my own style. Other than that, it was my own insatiable desire to MAKE THINGS that spurred me onwards. I don't think I could stop if I tried!

What's your favorite part of the creative process?

After you've got that first paragraph and you've found a flow and you've got a topic and you just GO. I get into the zone and the story starts happening on its own and I'm not an author anymore, I'm just a channel between the world of the piece and the page. That's my favorite. I love watching things take shape. I love shading a sketch for these same reasons. The whole drawing comes together and becomes A Thing and it's the most exciting time to be a creator. Something else inside you has taken over and you're just along for the ride. I have no idea if my experiences are common at all but this is what it's like for me!

What's your least favorite part of the creative process?

EDITING. I HAVE ZERO PATIENCE. THE THING IS DONE. WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING AT IT. CAN I POST IT YET. This leaves me with a lot of holes in what I make and I can't do a very clean, super detailed drawing unless it's for an art class and I'm forced to keep working on it. I have a terrible habit of never proofreading my things!

What's your favorite type of scene to write?

AAH hard question! I love writing description and places where I can really let my inner 19th century romantic be unleashed but I also love a good emotional moment between two characters. Something tense. I like fight scenes, but I try to keep them brief and interesting. Sometimes I find scenes where I have no idea what's going on and I try to avoid that, but it's really hard sometimes.

What's the hardest for you to create?

I have so much trouble with endings. I can generally figure something out, but there's always a moment of panic before the end like "heck I wrote everything I wanted how do I wrap this up????" That's probably a byproduct of me planning nothing XD I sometimes have trouble with characterization and making sure everyone acts the way they actually would. The hardest part is continuing after you have an "oh heck what do I do now" moment that breaks you out of your zone and all of your ideas and plot threads turn invisible or evaporate or go wherever it is they go when you're looking for them.

What's your favorite genre to write?

ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST. Wellll... scratch that. I love something adventure-y and plot driven with a lot of really meaningful character interactions. I've always had trouble putting my writing into genres, but I guess that kind of speaks for itself in a way.

What fandoms do you enjoy creating for?

Linked Universe is the fandom I have created and posted the most for by a LONG SHOT. I found LU shortly after making my tumblr and I joined the Discord shortly thereafter. Since then, it has been nonstop inspiration and creativity for me! I tend to get sucked into one fandom and it consumes me for a few months before I silently drift out of it and never think about it again. LU is the fandom I've been the most active in EVER though—and it's still going—so there's a good chance I'm never getting off this ride.

What's the work you are most proud of?

AAAAAAAAAAH MY BABIES. okay um here's the first and only fanfic I've ever posted anywhere but I'm really happy with: https://sky-squido.tumblr.com/post/618964544219463680/turn-back-time-a-linked-universe-fanfic I have a lot of other pieces kicking about, but they're not fandom so I haven't shared them yet. I probably will after I touch them up a bit.

Do you have any fics inspired by real life stories?

Not really? I don't really know where my ideas come from to be honest!

Where do you post your finished works?

my tumblr. I tag stuff #squido writes and #squido draws so you can find them easily. I also put them on the discord but they get lost in the stream of other works pretty quickly so stick to my tumblr. I also have an ao3 now! https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_squido

If you have any fun stories about the pieces you made, please do share!

Turn Back Time was actually live written in the Discord, but entirely unplanned and in the #angst channel! It was just a headcanon but then I started describing it and like 2 hours and 5k words later I'm sitting in the Discord like "what just happened??"

#Meet The Creator #lutrain2020 #linkeduniverse #lu

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peonybane · 4 years

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Hey there, soooo... I don't know whether you heard about VIXX and Hongbin, but just thought I'd check in, whether you had or hadn't yet. I feel quite bitter. I was very upset with what happened to Wonho last year when he left Monsta X, but with Hongbin it seems like he is quitting being a performer altogether 😖😢

So I am going to be answering this under the cut (both so people don’t have to read a long ask, but also because of the subject matter). Please let me know if you’d like me to remove this as an ask, I’ll repost my opinion as an original.

Disclosure: While I’m very into VIXX and other kpop groups, unless it ends up on my Tumblr dash, I know absolutely nothing about what’s going on. I don’t have most forms of social media. So if there’s are some factually wrong things down below, it’s because I’m only vaguely aware of certain details. Most of this is my own personal opinion and intuitions as well. I will also state here that I know very little about the twitch controversies except for hearsay so I’ll only be referring to one case, the most relevant one.

I was never into Monsta X as I am with my other groups, but I feel like this is worse than when Wonho left. I’m not disregarding that it wasn’t painful or upsetting for Monbebes. But... Wonho left to protect his group. But he’s continuing to do what he loves. I feel like Hongbin is leaving, so he can survive. While I hope that he’s not leaving as a performer entirely, I respect his decision if he decides to have nothing to do with being an entertainer ever again.

So, I’m ngl, I am a combo of a shit ton of things, but mostly, I am a combination of livid and proud.

I am livid at the people who started this shit. I am so fucking pissed because people forget that idols are human beings too. They have feelings, they have OPINIONS.

I am so fucking pissed at the company(ies). I don’t know which company has greatest power in this or who this all happened under, but either way, I am pissed. Jelpi had been using VIXX as a cash cow for years because for whatever reason they could never recreate the same magical process of creating a group within a niche market. Despite VIXX finding a niche market within to thrive, Jelpi stopped giving them that support long ago. And we all know SM’s reputation (for those who don’t know, SM recently acquired Jelpi).

Something that both worries and pisses me off is that SM may not so subtly told him to leave voluntarily. But as far as I know, Hongbin decided to leave, himself. But we’ll most likely never truly know.

I think SM could see the writing on the wall. It already happened twice under the label. After all...

Once is a tragedy. Twice is a coincidence. Thrice is a statistic.

Hongbin would have been that statistic.

And really, that’s what is really making me absolutely livid. Because based on what we’ve seen and heard as fans... I can’t fucking imagine what was going on behind closed doors.

Idols are by no means perfect human begins. But they still don’t deserve this treatment. Including Hongbin.

I am proud of Hongbin so many reasons. From the very beginning, Hongbin was considered one of the weakest vocally. What that means, I don’t really know, I’m not musically trained. But he put in the effort to grow and develop himself as an idol. I mean on EAU DE VIXX, he was a fucking vocal powerhouse! He put all this effort into bettering himself as an actor, as a singer, as a dancer. And yet his company did not pay him the courtesy of that work.

I am proud of him because throughout these years, he’s been very much himself from the beginning, even though that makes him surly as hell, confrontational, sarcastic. He gave us Meme-Bin. He made us feel his pain with the cringe. He worked hard on his dream. It was never a life long dream like it was for Jaehwan. Instead, it was almost spur of the moment. And to me, being able to succeed to some degree of that sudden dream -- that is one of the greatest inspirations anyone can give.

I am proud of him for his strength. He went through years of being put in awkward positions (the Error MV for instance: he was originally suppose to kiss her on the lips and he kissed her on the forehead instead because kissing her made him uncomfortable). Years of being cast in the wrong type of role despite his skills (always cast as the ‘Prince’ type when he could have become an amazing psychotic villain). Years of his hard work being disregarded in favor of being a pretty face.

And he seemingly went through that and probably more that will never know about for years, all with that big cheesy dimpled smile. I think on some level, he’s depressed and has been for a very long time. But for the most part, like most of those who fight with their inner demons, he hid it for everyone else.

I think that during their hiatus TWITCH was his safe haven. It was a place where he could do something he loved and still interact with his ‘fans.’ And when he was asked his OPINION on a REMIX, people decided that that was enough to call for him to be cancelled. And it seems like the company listened to loudest minority. His haven was no longer safe.

I don’t know what happened behind closed doors. I think we all hoped that the company was looking to take legal action against the slander. Now, I’m wondering, did they decide to use Hongbin as a scapegoat for something? I don’t know. I don’t think we’ll ever know.

Hongbin is NOT perfect. He is not without flaw, the same as any other human being. But I do think he’s one of the strongest people I’ve seen.

I don’t know for certain, but I hope leaving was something he decided for himself, and not because of my fear that I said earlier. And that’s why I think he’s so strong.

I think he realized that he was in trouble. And I don’t mean with the fans or the company. I think he recognized that there were somethings were not worth paying for with his life.

I truly think that without the other five being there to help emotionally support him (with the Hyung line scattered to the wind for military service and Ravi off being a workaholic with GROOVL1N), Hongbin would not have survived. I know Hakyeon is coming back soon, but could have Hongbin held out for that much longer?

I don’t know.

I truly believe that if Hongbin was fighting with the company for something behind closed doors, Hakyeon and Jaehwan would have fought for him when he emotionally couldn’t stand up for himself anymore.

I am proud of Hongbin because he knew his worth. He chose to live. Leaving something that I’m sure is all consuming, that takes a lot of strength. That takes a strong sense of self worth (maybe even self love) and the will to live.

With the world going to shit this year, it’s hard to find the good in all this. I try to be forever the optimist. And in my mind, if Hongbin really did decide to leave of his own volition, in the long run, perhaps the world is still progressing to a better place. He decided to make the tough decision now, rather than waiting until it was too much; rather than waiting until he saw no other option than to make a decision that there is absolutely no coming back from.

I’m proud that he chose his health over everything else. Even if it makes me upset to see him go.

Because honestly, VIXX isn’t going to be the same without him.

#vixx #vixx hongbin #hongbin #ask #tw: mentions of suicide #muselin

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