#I can't believe I have to resort to one of my coping mechanisms from my darkest times

[chaosandwolves]

I can't believe this silly movie broke my heart so badly that I put on one of my biggest comfort movies and that I'm staying on the couch to sleep...

How do you just f*ck over your own fans like that?

Derek deserved to be finally at ease and happy.

Derek deserved better but so did we.

I'm truly heartbroken cause they didn't need to do that. They said this is for the fans but then pull that... Wow

[bekkandaa]

Tom Riddle: Narcissism, Heritage, and Mental Breakdown

This analysis will delve into Tom Riddle's narcissism, heritage, and my own hypothesis that a mental breakdown led to the ultimate murder of his family.

Before I begin, it's important to define some key psychological terms for anyone unfamiliar with the subject. I'll try to simplify things down, but if anything doesn't make sense don't worry too much.

Malignant Narcissism: This term describes individuals who exhibit all three traits from "The Dark Triad"— Machiavellianism, Psychopathy and Narcissism.

Machiavellianism : Commonly characterised by manipulation and exploitation of others, unemotional callousness, self-interest, and an overall lack of morality.

Psychopathy : Commonly characterised by continuous antisocial behaviour, selfishness, unemotional callousness, and an overall lack of remorse.

Narcissism : Marked by grandiosity, pride, egotism, and an overall lack of empathy.

In Psychoanalytic theory, primary narcissism is a normal part of child development, involving self-interest and object-love. Children often harbour notions of greatness and believe they are immune to any consequences. As they mature, they become disillusioned from these grand notions to integrate into mature society. pathological narcissism actually develops when this process is disrupted, resulting in defective narcissistic structures.

( Interestingly, a number of psychiatrists have established a direct link between malignant narcissism and evil— a perspective likely considered in the creation of Tom Riddle's character. However, it is important to note that while there is a connection, it does not necessarily define someone as evil.)

Tom Riddle's behaviour aligns perfectly with Heinz Kohut's theory of object-love. According to Kohut, a child requires a mother to affirm their grandiosity or, lacking this, seeks an adult to create an "idealised parent image." Tom, lacking a mother figure and grandiose figure to emulate, proceeded to construct his own powerful parental figure.

This is evident when we see Riddle question Dumbledore about his father's wizardry, as Tom assumes his mother could not have been a witch as if she was she wouldn't have died. This belief is shattered during his teenage years, which inevitably triggers his (narcissistic) rage of his idea being disillusioned. Tom Riddle has always been a character with an ongoing quest for identity and self-validation, which is seen in his prolonged search for the Chamber of Secrets to confirm his status as Heir of Slytherin.

Tom Riddle's obsession with power and control is a fundamental aspect of his character we can't ignore. The pursuit of control is a primary human motivation, gaining control is actually proved to enhance one's sense of well-being. For someone like Tom, when this control is threatened, they would resort to coping mechanisms to preserve their sense of self. For a narcissist like Tom, a threat to his control equates to a threat to his very self.

Now, to my entire point. The revelation of his true heritage and the truth about his parents triggered a mental breakdown, causing an identity crisis. Freud posits that human behaviour is influenced more by the unconscious mind than the conscious. The unconscious mind protects itself by concealing negative memories, which can affect behaviour and attitudes. In Tom’s case, his father's abandonment left a mark, which he could not reconcile. His only solution was to eradicate this source of shame and hatred.

Tom Riddle’s patricide and subsequent name change to Voldemort signify his profound self-loathing and rejection of his humanity. This action eradicates the evidence of his shameful heritage. According to Krech, hatred often correlates with anger, manifesting as a desire to destroy the source of hatred. Riddle’s murder of his father and paternal family was an attempt to reclaim control and restore his ego. TLDR :  Tom Riddle has a fragile sense of control and ego, loses the sense of control once he learns of his true heritage. Causing a mental breakdown and killing his family. In conclusion, he is miserable and hates everyone. ( even himself to a point.)

[likesomanywrecksdo]

SPOILERSSSSSS FOR FULL MOON (HELLUVA BOSS S2 EP8)!!! DON'T READ IF U HAVEN'T WATCHED PLSSS

STOLITZ PART 2/2- BLITZØ IN FULL MOON

Blitzø's behaviour in Full Moon seemed very similar to the five stages of grief, mostly denial, anger and bargaining because depression and acceptance don't usually happen in the heat of the moment. Also these stages don't happen in order, they are all over the place.

Denial, when Blitzø thought it was all roleplay and that Stolas actually didn't care about him and was just messing around for the sake of the deal. This reaction happens even after Stolas' sweet love confession and you can tell Blitzø wants to believe it but denial is the easiest bet. In Blitzø's mind, Stolas has not done anything apart from tonight to suggest he cares about anything other than their deal so Blitzø can't risk becoming vunerable when the possibility that this is a joke is there. So he has to keep denying everything and then maybe everything will go back to normal and comfortable. We also have to take into consideration that at this point in the episode, Blitzø had it floating around in his head that Stolas is getting bored of him. So the idea that Stolas is not bored, but in fact in love is impossible to Blitzø, causing him to justify everything as a joke.

Bargaining was Blitzø initial reaction to when Stolas said; "i need it back permanently". First he tried to remain the way he always was at their full moon meetings; put together and dominating to try and get some normalcy back because the last time Blitzø wanted the book, this is how he got it, so naturally he would resort to that sort of bargaining as a way of getting the book again and distracting Stolas from talking about the issues within their relationship. Then he switches to plain begging. Blitzø has come to terms with the fact that he is beneath Stolas and when Stolas says "i've made up my mind", Blitzø brain goes into panic mode and we see him literally the most vulnerable he has ever been with Stolas in the entire series. Blitzø is someone who does not like when he isn't in positions of power but he is willing to forgo all that if it means he gets this book.

Anger is familiar to Blitzø. He understand anger very well, so when he is backed against this wall and is confused as fuck about all the information that has been dropped on him in one night, he retreats to something more comfortable. The thing is, this isn't real anger he's showing, Blitzø use the volume of his voice to hide the real message. Stolas is literally walking away from this conversation, if Blitzø didn't care, he wouldn't run after him at all. The thing is, Blitzø is yelling for more time. He's asking Stolas to let him think and process and not give up on him but Stolas isn't listening to him so he feels like at least if he screams, Stolas might scream back. This is also something that is similar to Stolas too. Stella yells and screams at him to make him feel small, which is why his decision to teleport Blitzø out of his castle came into play, but Blitzø doesn't know that, making him justify his anger further.

Now that we've covered the three stages of grief, why is Blitzø falling into this pattern of grief coping mechanism in the first place.

Because Blitzø hates himself and thinks he's unworthy of love from anyone. He jumps to conclusions way too often, it's how his brain functions. So when Stolas cuts off the deal, his brain defaults to his regular coping mechanism to deal with the thought of losing Stolas.

[quintenrosenburgwrites]

Okay, I know it's probably been said before but I am a BIG fan of how the different coping mechanisms of the main characters of The Amazing Digital Circus are portrayed. Like, it seems like a lot of the main characters could be described through how they cope with the idea that their actions don't matter. (I JUST WANNA SAY HERE THAT THESE ARE ALL JUST MY INTERPRETATIONS! IM NO EXPERT, JUST A STORYTELLING NERD) (SPOILERS FOR TADC EP 1 AND 2)

Ragatha plays along, seeing Cain's games as a way to practice escapism. She pretends her problems don't exist, and actively avoids confronting them (Like how there's clearly still SOME kind of tension after Pomni ran instead of helping her, but she says it's fine). She doesn't try to change things because she believes things CAN'T be changed.

Jax just does whatever he wants, because if his actions don't matter in the long run, why shouldn't he? He also practices escapism, but in a very different way from Ragatha. Instead of playing along, he is horrible to the people around him because there aren't any consequences anyways. He also avoids anything he finds stressful, much like Ragatha (He looks upset for a frame before rolling his eyes and walking away when Kaufmo's funeral is mentioned). Both of them refuse to confront their problems, and would much rather ignore them through each of their preferred types of entertainment.

Zooble doesn't really have the energy to participate in Cain's adventures, because their mindset is that if nothing matters, why should they do anything at all? They do put effort into some things, such as setting up Kaufmo's funeral, however so far it's been shown that they prefer not to participate in Cain's activities unless they are actively forced to.

Kinger. Um. I don't know how to describe Kinger if I'm being honest. Same with Gangle. We don't know a lot about either of them yet, but I'm sure other people have some fantastic theories on those two! My personal theory is that they're actually NPCs, because Cain mentioning the risk of mixing up real people and NPCs felt significant. It's kinda a very loose theory though, and it has literally ZERO proof, so

FINALLY, POMNI. I am a HUGE fan of Pomni's characterization! The best way I can describe Pomni is, if she was in a time loop, I imagine that she would, without fail, try to prove that she is a time loop to her friends EVERY loop to try and get their help. She's very clearly struggling a LOT in episode one and the beginning of episode two, but once she actually makes a friend, and later when she realizes that the others DO care, she starts to actually have hope. While the others have less healthy coping mechanisms, the way that Pomni copes with the idea of none of her actions mattering in the long run is, "At least my actions matter to the people around me." Having a support system matters a LOT to her, and I think that's why Pomni is going to be the one to get all of them out of there. The others have given up on escaping, resorting to escapism and/or apathy to cope, but because Pomni copes with her surroundings through her friendships with others, I don't think she'll give up like the others.

Anyways. I love TADC so much. I am SO excited for what's coming up next, and if Gummigoo doesn't come back I'll cry /hj (gummigoo getting eviscerated destroyed me on the inside)

[one-abuse-survivor]

i feel kinda shitty rn because i was almost convinced my dad had. like. stopped? being an abusive asshole to me? i told myself that he did it because he was so stressed and upset bc of stuff happening and that now it was over even though i know he goes through stages where he seems fine and then abruptly turns into an asshole. i was telling myself it was over and it was going to be weird that i had a period in my life where my dad abused me but now it was over and i could just lowkey hate him for it but it was over.

but then, of course, because i'm a dumbass, the other day, my dad started making fun of me for literally being a cripple? (i am crippled, to be clear, he was just making fun of me for how i walk and being slow and using a cane and how it makes him have to wait for me to get out of the way, which inconveniences him or whatever.) and i was feeling so bad that day that i got pissed at him and then i got in trouble for telling him that making fun of my disabilities isn't okay. (because that's petty somehow ._. )

and now he's avoiding me bc he knows he was an asshole and didn't apologize and he doesn't want to do that. and im just so done. like. i used to think i couldn't call him abusive bc we were all in such a stressful situation and he was just dealing with it like a dickhead but we're out of it now, almost 2 years, and he's still on/off treating me like shit, avoiding me so he doesn't have to apologize, and then trying to come back and chat like nothing happened. i feel like im going insane or maybe im just stupid for letting him do this to me. im just barely an adult but still an adult, i should know what to do in this situation right? but my family just says 'forgive him' and i don't know what else to do when im stuck living with him. :/

Hi there, nonnie.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. You were starting to feel that you were safe around him and he turned around and abused you again. That's awful beyond words, and sounds so scary and confusing. I don't think you're a dumbass for believing the abuse was over. I think downplaying what happened and believing it wouldn't happen again might have been a coping mechanism/survival strategy, because you can't exactly process his abuse while still living with him, so your mind might have resorted to just hoping for the best so you could keep going.

Good job standing up for yourself when he made those ableist comments! And I'm sorry he didn't budge and painted you as petty for that. Any good parent would be proud of their kids when they stand up for themselves, even against their own parents when they say something insensitive.

You're not stupid for struggling, nonnie. Being an adult doesn't automatically mean you should know how to handle being abused. For one, the abuse-victim relationship has been established between you since you were a minor. That's not a dynamic you can just snap out of. Even as adults, victims of child and teen abuse can very easily fall back into that dynamic, even if it's been years or decades since they got out. In my case, whenever I run into my mother, I still fall back into survival mode, and I'm in my mid-twenties. And, until I was able to move out of her house at 20, I kept living in survival mode constantly in her house. Being 19 wasn't any different than being 16 when it came to living in that house. I was exactly the same amount of traumatised and helpless until the moment that I left.

And, moreover, there are many adults who become victims of abuse in adulthood, for example within the context of romantic relationships, workplace relationships, or friendships. Being an abuse victim isn't a minor-only thing. Sure, it's not the exact same experience, but adults are definitely not immune to abuse. So, no, nonnie, you shouldn't know what to do in this situation. The vast majority of people of all ages wouldn't know how to escape from an abusive relationship if they found themselves in one.

It's horrible that your family isn't supporting you and is telling you to forgive him. They're basically telling you you don't deserve boundaries, respect, or reparations when you're hurt, and you should just let others mistreat you without complaining. They're condoning and facilitating his abuse of you when they should be supporting you and confronting him instead. That's incredibly unfair, and you deserve so much better than that.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️

[i-sveikata]

I am fascinated by your character of Tankhun. At first I liked him for his compassionate nature and pitied him for his own fate. But now his many facets become clear. He is a true son of his father. He uses his own feelings as well as those of others to manipulate. I believe he likes Pete and wants good for him but, like a good liar who mixes truth with lies, he nevertheless spins his intrigue also to Pete's detriment.

When Pete cries on his chest I could have shouted at him: Don't do this! Don't believe a word he says, not one more loving gesture, Pete!"

His character melts away like water between my hands. I can't grasp him. Is there anything tangible, real left in him?

oh thank you!!! yes all of that is true!!! we can contain multitudes!!! and tbh i wanted to show more of the complex side of Tankhun which i believe they hinted at a bit in the show but didnt explore as much as they could have!

like out of all the family he definitely presents as the nicest if a bit eccentric and i do think some of that can be a mask sometimes! he definitely likes pete and wants the best for him but he also wants to go after vegas and make him suffer a little. the only issue is trying to figure out how to do that without impacting pete.

oh no!! i mean youre totally right to be suspicious but i really dont see tankhun as that cruel. he's thoughtless at times and anxious and severely controlling of his bodyguards (i think as a coping mechanism to make him feel safe when hes been kidnapped and traumatised so many times tbh) but i do think in the heavy moments like that he cant help but be present and comfort pete with sincerity. which is partially why he took the initiative to tell kinn everything (because it was something that was continually hurting pete and the problem clearly wasnt going away otherwise).

i really like how you've described him here because i think thats an entirely significant part of his personality. like compare him to the rigidity of his bothers and his cousins, tankhun has learned to be fluid. to adapt and change within each situation mostly in distracting ways that can mask his intentions or the true feelings by hiding behind overly dramatic ones. i truly see that as a survival tactic because he doesnt seem to resort to physical violence or weapons like the others, this is his own kind of weapon if that makes sense. like it feels like when he's having his tantrums as a grown man in wonderful eye catching clothing everyone else around him can't help but feel embarrassed or cringe away from him or in kinn's case become extra patient and indulgent.

i think he learned to be loud like this because once they passed him over as heir everyone completely ignored him and he lost a lot of power and respect that had automatically belonged to him. i think he chooses such incredibly out there clothing because people cant help but see him when he walks into the room. everything about tankhun is an endless struggle in not being forgotten because though i think his family does somewhat understand him they truly havent tried to speak to him on a deep emotional level, havent made the attempt to meet him where his trauma is and thats especially sad. like it seems incredibly obvious to me that he needs help but the culturally accepted ideas around mental health and masculinity make it easier for everyone else to tuck tankhun out of the way instead. and thus make him try so much harder to be noticed.

ah thanks for your question that really made me think!

[the1975attheirverybest]

DBATC anon. Ok long disclaimer:

This is my personal opinion drawn from deep dives into their lyrics ever since they both did their "This is about you, I know who you are, I love you"-declaration. I don't have any other insights:

We now know M and T dated in 2014/ probably broke up in early 2015 (Brit awards) I personally think it was a lot more than just a "brief"/ casual thing – it meant a lot to her and she was devastated even though she seemingly was the one who ended it. I personally believe she's written A LOT of songs about him in the last 9/8 years. He's is her muse - and vice versa. Which only makes sense given they're two of the most talented musicians of their generation…

But, since they kept their relationship so secret for almost a decade, she had to get creative. Avoid physical descriptions/ lead fans to believe the songs were about other dudes (Harry Styles!) or fictional characters (James) etc. She clearly wanted to include a breakup song on the Lover album because it’s an album about different aspects of love (and the fans dig them so much) Doubt she really mourned after CH and TH, so it was the perfect opportunity to write about Matty. And when she promoted the album, Taylor said she’d been kinda worried that she wouldn’t be able to keep writing breakup songs now she was in a happy relationship (ha!) but she was able to draw inspiration from her friends’ breakups and sad movies she’d been watching. I always call bullshit on narratives like that – Taylor is a confessional song writer so she pretty much exclusively writes from her own experiences and emotions. She clearly didn’t want people to dig deeper and play detective (which is only fair) – doesn’t stop me though lol.

Another general note – I personally noticed a lot of recurring imagery/ motifs she keeps using in the songs I believe are about him, for example: kindred spirits, missed connections/ “the one that got away”, movies, driving/ road trips (DLID!!), painting/ making art, lights/ glow, celestial bodies (stars! meteors etc.), drinking wine/ rosé/ drugs/ INTOXICATION, ghosts/ being haunted and OFC they’re her sexiest and horniest songs cuz duh …  

Now onto the lyrics – I think the song is pretty self-explainatory/ straight forward (AND vague enough not to give anything away).

It’s a about a breakup that hurts so deeply it feels like death/ unbearable physical pain (“thousand cuts”) and she can’t get over it

[Chorus]

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

first indication – recurring motif of getting drunk… - she’s trying to forget him and move on but she can’t manage. Not even when she resorts to… unhealthy coping mechanisms. She’d just dated an addict, sooo…

’Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

recurring motif light/ glow – There’s still a spark – aka she still loves him/ might have some kind of hope…

’Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts

[Verse]

I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home

I ask the traffic lights if it'll be alright

They say, "I don't know"

And what once was ours is no one's now

relatively vague and straightforward but the lyrics reference driving around…

I see you everywhere, the only thing we share

Is this small town

possible reference to “The City” etc. [I think it’s irony and she means NYC]

You said it was a great love, one for the ages

But if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?

their love has a timeless quality// the relationship is over but she’d like it to go on…

THIS IS THE BIGGEST GIVE-AWAY ever because Matty references her (so clearly thought she spoke to him??)

Me & You Together Song: “I've been in love with her for ages”

AND: “I think the story needs more pages, yes”

Coincidence?? I don’t think so…

[Bridge]

My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch

emphasis of physical intimacy = Matty

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

DRUGS/ INTOXICATION again

Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club

haunted motif

Our songs, our films, united we stand

Our songs – both musicians/ songwriters duh

Our films – “love as a movie” trope which is very Matty-coded (M&YTS again…)

“United We Stand” – Newcastle United (his tattoo – dunno if he’d already had it when they were together but it was definitely already his favorite club and/ or bestie has been taking tabs on him)

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

possible reference to “Robbers”

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

wine/ alcohol again

Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up

Gave you too much, but it wasn't enough

But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

Hope that makes sense

@aelingodskiller you’ve got mail bestieeee

[doctor-looneys-remedy]

Bi-erasure, part 3

In the early 90's we had a small flurry of mostly people in the grunge and alternative music category claiming bisexuality as an identity. Some of these felt honest. Some felt, at least to the outsider, as if they were just grabbing onto another way of being alternative.

Bisexuality was there and a clear identity, but it still wasn't very real to most of us on a daily basis. Celebrities had a far greater distance from their audience than the parasocial relationships they have today. In college, I knew a lot of straight people, a good number of gay people, and a couple of people who said they were bi.

Pretty celebrities could be bisexual. Most people rolled their eyes and generally just didn't believe in the "Pretty alternative girl bisexual" that was typical in music. Some fanboys did, but largely, it was met with a "whatever."

Regular people who said they were bi were largely regarded as just gay men who hadn't figured it out yet, and unattractive, desperate women who willing to hop into bed with whoever came along. Beggars can't be choosers, after all.

Bisexuality wasn't an attraction pattern for the regular person, it was seen as a coping mechanism. It was cool for celebrities, but celebrities back then were just abstract beings separate from the rest of us in a way that doesn't exist today. It was what you resort to when you can't get the thing you naturally want.

In the few gay bars I had gone to, and even around the gay, lesbian and trans people I knew, there was a huge tendency to talk down about bisexual people. We didn't quite fit in, even among well-meaning members.

Of course, I have to address that one episode of Sex in the City. I don't know what bothers me more- that it was said, OR that people my age and older who should have fucking known better at that point in their lives took it as gospel because it appeared on a dramedy about a narcissistic disaster human who constantly acted like she and her friends just plain knew it all (even though their decisions were constantly made a point of proving how stupid they were.)

So, let's meet in the present.

We are more visible than ever. Still some battles, but definitely in a much better place than we were.

I am in a much better place than I was.

But we still have a few bones to pick:

Bisexual erasure happens every time when a bisexual person (usually a male) is called "gay" instead of bisexual, when they clearly call themselves bisexual. A woman who clearly identifies herself as bisexual is relegated to the label of "ally" instead of being called bisexual.

If I could put every single person inside my head to understand what it is I am experiencing to better explain it, I would. But I can't do that.

I am bisexual. I am physically attracted to mostly men, but sometimes also women. It is not something I choose. It isn't something I control. When I say attraction I mean the same attraction you experience when you see that hot movie star or musician - and you are attracted in a way that bypasses your thought process.

Believe me, my life would be much much easier if I was one thing or the other. But the pain and confusion could have been lessened if the word itself wasn't bogged down with the level of BS that it was. If I had lived in a world where someone could have explained literally any of it to me. If I had been made to feel as if I could be comfortable discussing it with literally anyone at all ever.

Gen X ... we have a hard time owning up to the shit we have done. I know a good 75% of us probably went to a drag show in 1997. So why, in this era of super hate, are we saying nothing? The books that Moms for Liberty is banning regularly were books that were required reading, that made us better people. No one cared if our feelings were hurt by legitimate historical facts, and we took all of that in and it made us better people.

There is a positive note from my high school experience:

My Lit teacher in high school wasn't weird about the solid possibility of Shakespeare's sexuality when we started reading poems he wrote about men. She just said, "People think he as probably bisexual." and we all took that in for a minute and went on with it. No fuss, no muss.

That is what I hope for. No Fuss, no muss. No screaming about how bi people are this, that and the other. No shit about how we are confused. No crappy attitudes. No censorship of a real thing about a real person in history.

[queencoldart]

Feeling Pinkie Keen is an underrated gem in my opinion

This episode is considered one of the weaker ones of the first season by the fandom, but I think it's because the message went over a lot of people's heads. (I mean, it clearly did!)

I love the episode, though. Everything about it is solidly in the good to great category: the gags, the pacing, the action, the little details in the animation... But my favorite thing about the episode is the moral.

Don't be a bigot.

Let's unpack how this episode tackled the subject. First of all, to understand the moral you need to understand what a bigot is.

A bigot is someone who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to their own opinions and prejudices; especially: someone who regards or treats the members of a group with hatred and intolerance—especially, but not always.

So how was Twilight a bigot in the episode? Let's recap.

When the episode begins, Twilight is practicing her magic and she insists that Spike gives her his undivided attention for it to work. She says that there is "no other way". Spike's mind needs to be one with hers, because that is the way. When Spike's mind wanders, she hurts him. It's unintentional, but it happens. This little scene establishes Twilight's words as the law.

In comes Pinkie. The way she's acting is unusual and from the very start Twilight is dismissive of her. She doesn't understand Pinkie's behavior but decides, subconsciously, that she is superior anyway and immediately condescends to Pinkie. Then something happens: reality sides with Pinkie, not Twilight.

This is when the cognitive dissonance first sets in. Twilight's logic was overcome by an indisputable truth. But like a bigot, she dismisses it as a fluke. Also like a bigot, she wasn't emotionally prepared for having the (previously) uncontested superiority of her logic challenged, so she turns her frustration outward and begins antagonizing Pinkie. The more reality sides with Pinkie over Twilight, the more flustered Twilight becomes.

Something that is important to note about Twilight as a character at this stage in the show, is that she still isn't the least bit in touch with her feelings. In order to cope with complex emotions, she resorts to intellectualism.

Intellectualism is the exercise of the intellect at the expense of the emotions. Making sense of what's happening—making things predictable (i.e. safe) again, is her way of reining in her emotions.

But this coping mechanism only serves to fluster Twilight further, because in her current situation she cannot reconcile what she is observing with her biased views of what is supposed to be happening.

Though, what if she can reconcile what she is observing with her own views? Then everything would make sense again. Everything would be predictable again. She would be in control again and she would feel safe again. So... she doubles down and she becomes obsessed. She can't just let this go because her happiness is now dependent on solving the "problem".

But that's just the thing. The only real problem is Twilight's insistence that she's right and the others are wrong. Pinkie was just being Pinkie. She was minding her own business. Twilight could have avoided all of the stress and pain she endured if she had accepted and respected this from the start. But Twilight refuses, because in her mind Pinkie answers to her and her world view.

Twilight continues to refuse, until she makes the "leap of faith". Some fans have taken issue with that part and the way Twilight phrases her letter, believing the episode was about religion. That's not what it's about. It's about challenging yourself by making the jump across the chasm, like Twilight literally did, and leaving those old, intolerant opinions behind. In that moment, Twilight was vulnerable. The future was uncertain and scary, but she would have been left behind if she didn't make the leap.

When Twilight reaches the other side, she accepts that Pinkie Pie is the way she is. She still doesn't understand Pinkie and that's okay. Pinkie never owed it to Twilight to make sense to her and Twilight finally respects that. Finally, Twilight accepts that the regard others deserve never depended on her understanding or approval, because she isn't the judge of that. She is not above others.

What a creative and lighthearted way to teach that lesson! What I really like about the episode is that it shows bigotry can come in very subtle ways. Unconscious bias is much more prevalent than outspoken bias and it's difficult to portray it right. This episode nailed it, though.

If it's been a while since you've seen this one, give it another watch. It may challenge an opinion you've held for a decade.

[mycheriejubilee-blog]

[ I don't own this picture, creds to owner!!! ]

91/100 days of 100 days of productivity challenge!!

9:33 PM | Apr. 7 | 2019 | Turns out we're both clowns.

I am a fool. And so is he. Well, I guess mainly I am. I don't know if he actually enjoys talking to me or is pitying me. I mean, I'm sure he only feels pity for me. After all, I am just his charity case. He thinks, "But she is lonely."

I knew this crush wouldn't last long. Everytime I'm not talking to him I regain my common sense. I only wish he could say no to me. Instead of ignoring me, to tell me that he does not want to be friends with me. Or, he will only play with me when he wants to. He should say that he only talks to me when no one else is there to talk to him. It is the truth, after all.

I feel idiotic for even talking or thinking this way. It's the only way for me not to feel hurt while talking about him. Because, I know deep down, all I truly desire is a companion. Yet he doesn't even look at me that way. I do understand, he does have friends that he prefers.

Maybe this is a lesson..? In all honesty, I am hurt, but I can't complain very much considering that I once treated someone like he is treating me right now.

I pray that girl that I treated so terribly.. that she is well, and has a friend that is worthy to even have her in their presence. Because I did not deserve her. I came to her, only when I needed her. She wasn't my second resort, third, or fourth. She was my last resort. Yet she still treated me with such kindness, because she so deeply desired a friend, and would do anything to keep a friend.

I know I was still just a kid, and I may have changed but I can't help but feel bad about that. I would apologize to her straight up, but I feel that would make me her friend once again. And we have grown apart, it would not be right to be her friend. If I get to talk to her again, I will apologize. I am sorry. Unfortunately, I don't know if sorry will fix the damage I've done. I don't need her forgiveness. I just hope she could see me now and would know that I truly am sorry.

So, I guess I can't complain. But, I do have to admit, that being someone's charity case and being someone's last resort doesn't feel very good.

I want to stop talking to him, but why should I end the friendship for? For what reason? So I can be alone again? Yet if I make friends, it seems like it's just as painful as being alone. Will I ever have a companion..? Am I just... meant to have no one? Why do I even have to meet people, just for me to be a charity case? Why do I need these distractions? Is it truly needed, to meet someone, and for nothing but hurt to come out of it?

Yet, I, like a fool stay in these friendships because of my deep desire to have a friend. I allow myself to get hurt, because, "they'll change". "Maybe one day they'll actually want to be my friend!"

I try opening up, it doesn't work because I always get vulnerable with the wrong people. I keep my distance, not being attached at all, and that is bad too because they don't get to know me, just view me as cold, and I end up pushing them away instead. This time, I'm truly trying to keep it balanced, be open, yet not too open because I just met them. Yet he still doesn't care. Am I the problem, or is it them? It's so confusing.

When the same people come with the same game, how do I know if it is not my fault? Everyone says it's not my fault, but if it's not my fault, why do the same things keep happening..? The same hurtful things.. the loneliness, ah then I go back to my self destructive coping mechanisms. I do well for awhile, just to go back to the same bad thing I was running away from.?

Ugh... I just feel so conflicted. I could talk so much more... but I shouldn't. I know how I feel. I just.. really want someone, you know? Someone who geniunely wants to be around me, that I do not have to get on my knees and beg like I deserve someone who doesn't want or need me. I do not want to beg to get someone to be friends with me. Unfortunately, he has already seen my pathetic, desperate side. I do not believe I can change the way he views me.

This isn't really about him. I am not upset because of him. I am upset because of myself, my hurts, and my experiences. I feel... like an idiot.

This was a rant. I apologize. What did I do productive today? I got real with myself, took the time to notice and acknowledge my emotions. I drank more water than usual! This last one isn't productive, but, I watched a lot of Naruto!! We're on season 3 now. It's so good. It really makes me think and get teary-eyed. Naruto's backstory is so sad. So is Hinata's, and Haku's. So many sad things in this anime.

Stay hydrated, stay safe, and take care of yourselves!!

~ Valentina 🕊

[tyrantofthefirmament]

ooc, please. why do you continue to bring up Cliffjumper if you know it hurts people. i understand Starscream doesn't care. i'd wanted to *make* him care, at least a little bit, or make him understand why it shouldn't be something to brag about, but i failed, even though i've seen other anons get him upset about things using the same tactics. i'm upset and i guess i want/ed him to be too. but i can't help but feel like you don't particularly care either...

I bring up Cliffjumper because it is in character to do so, and frankly, because it’s funny. I’m assuming you’re referring to the post with the glowing blue nails and my little addition? I’m not sorry.

Let’s address your points one by one. No one will ever make Starscream care about what he did to Cliffjumper. One day he’ll probably grow bored of bragging about it, and more importantly, he’ll have other accomplishments that he’ll gain more satisfaction from, and that others will validate. But for the time being, yes, he does find it worth bragging about, because it was the last thing he did while he still had some measure of control in his life, when he led the Decepticons right before Megatron returned and undermined him as both a leader and a person once more. Is that healthy? Nnnnnnope! It’s a maladaptive coping mechanism, such as when people become compulsive hoarders after a severe loss. It’s grasping to hold onto a feeling of power or control. Yes it’s messed up. Don’t know if you noticed, but Starscream is pretty darn messed up. He does a lot of bad things and feels no remorse. He can justify nearly anything to himself, and firmly believes the ends justify whatever underhanded means he feels he must resort to.

The other anons who have upset him have brought up things he is already upset over but usually pushes deep down and doesn’t think about, like the loss of his Trine and Vos, or his broken friendship with Jetfire. Trying to get him to feel bad over something he is ok with, and especially something he’s proud of, won’t work. Getting him to sympathize with another person’s loss by comparing it to his own is a total dead end. First, he does understand how Arcee feels and thinks she’s ridiculous to be so open about it. In his world, that’s asking for people to hurt you worse. He never once spoke of any his unfathomable losses the entire time he was in the Decepticons, because he’d be eaten alive. Does he care how she feels? No, he doesn’t. People hurt each other. Enemies have no reason not to. That’s war. That’s how you win and survive. Second, as he explained when you brought up his Trine, he knows other people find the deaths of their enemies - his friends - quite satisfying, and all that does is hand him the moral high ground about Autobot hypocrisy. He’s slippery and manipulative, and will absolutely use that to deflect criticism from his own lack of remorse. Third, he’s extremely self centered and likes to wallow in self pity, and firmly (and frankly, rightly) believes other people’s losses are nothing compared to what he’s suffered. Does that mean he has the right to be an asshole about it? Of course not. He should at least find some speck of compassion even if the scale of the loss is different, but he’s not going to, because he’s a self centered asshole. 

And as for me? No, I don’t particularly care about Cliffjumper or what happened to him. Sorry, I just don’t. The writers never gave me a reason to, besides telling me how I was supposed to feel. He was literally a red shirt who died to show how serious the bad guys were. I was much more excited to see a villain who didn’t waste time arguing or holding a prisoner who would be rescued, but instead took him out and moved on with his business than I was sad over some random character who I found cocky and annoying the whole five minutes he was in the show. I did feel bad for Arcee, at first, before she kept going on and on and on and on about him just as annoyingly as Starscream, but I didn’t feel bad for Cliffjumper himself. I didn’t come to care about him as a character or want to see more from him. Later, when I played Fall of Cybertron, and actually got to know CJ, I did feel kind of sad that he was killed, but not nearly as sad as I was over Breakdown, or even Dreadwing. I was slightly more sad about Cliffjumper than I was about Skyquake, which is not much. At all. Because neither of those characters was developed enough for me to see them as more than the plot devices they were. If writers tell me how to feel but don’t take the time to really sell it by showing me something about the character, I’m pretty much gonna do the opposite of what they tell me.

I do know CJ’s death hurts people, I know Starscream bragging about it hurts people, and I do care about that because I care about people. But if you follow a TFP Starscream blog that’s what you’re gonna get. No one’s forcing you or anyone else to follow me. You think I don’t know the bad treatment of a character hurts people? I love Starscream, so don’t talk to me about hurting. I’ve cried over him and lost sleep over him, and sat side by side with people who were laughing at the scenes with him that broke my heart because he was so scared and helpless and humiliated, all for laughs. I’ve had nightmares about him after I saw Predacons Rising and woken up crying. I’ve blocked more posts and blacklisted more tags than I care to count. I have unfollowed 2 blogs - one Shockwave and one Predaking - because of how casually and graphically their characters discussed murdering Starscream and I couldn’t handle it. Key word - I couldn’t handle it. So I unfollowed in order to keep myself comfortable. Did I expect them to change how they played their characters? No. It’s their blogs and they were just acting in character. It was damn good writing, as is mine. 

I’m considerate of Cliffjumper fans, and I never put his name in the tags on my posts in the first 5 tags, so Starscream’s obnoxious bragging won’t show up in the Cliffjumper tag. I tag my CJ related posts “we all know what happens to redshirts”. If that’s too long or too flippant, I can add a tag for you that you can block. If what I was writing in character upset you, you could have mentioned it to me out of character and asked me to tag it. But you sent in character asks and I responded in character. You weren’t able to manipulate Starscream into feeling a certain way in order to give you some comfort, because it’s not his job to comfort you, and frankly I had no way of knowing you were actually bothered. I will always tag things when asked over IM or even an anon ask. Beyond that, I’m not changing how I run things and I make no apologies, for me or my asshole birb.