#I can't even like fully be sad this is somehow both funny and also like a major wtf 💀 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

endermaybe · 12 days

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I loved reading the "From Eden" story, written by @aquaquadrant and the accompanying art by @lunarcrown. I keep thinking about the story/world, so I decided to be kind to myself and write it out, so at least my thoughts will be organized.

Or so I thought. It turned out to be more of a ramble than a coherent piece of text. I'm not gonna do it to myself to check and clear up everything, it's supposed to be a fun write, not a chore. I've made a lot of (obvious) observations and asked a lot of questions, but that's me just 'thinking out loud'. And I knew it would be long, but I hadn't expected it to be this long. I'm not sure if anyone will be interested in reading all of it, but here it is anyway.

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I love it, and everything about it.

I love the whole "Hells to Pay" universe. I love how alive the universe feels while at the same time it still feels very much like Minecraft. I love how it has very much game logic while at the same time having very real stakes and dangers.

I love the characters, both the ones based on youtubers and the original ones. The first category are clearly recognizable with their way of speaking and mannerisms and the latter seem just as well developed. I love how everyone has depth. Everyone has strengths and weakness, even if it's not always obvious. No one is fully good and even the worst characters have some good qualities. And everyone has the ability to change and learn, for better or for worse, but only if they choose so.

I love the writing. The way it's structured makes it fun and easy to read. The wording very much supports the world and it's characters. I love how it lingers on some moments and quickly goes over others, it feels very natural. And though I am the kind of person that wants to know anything about a universe/story they love, I do think that the amounts of exposition and explanation are great. More would probably hinder the telling of the story itself. And I love all the extra bits of the world told through answering other peoples asks.

I love the art. Everyone is unique and easy recognizable. The bodylanguage and faces are really expressive. It's great to see. Beside that, it's also an artstyle that I just really enjoy.

So onto more details of the story. A LOT more details, I basically did another deep read to make sure I didn't miss anything. Spoilers I guess for anyone who hasn't read the story but somehow did find this post.

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Lunarcrown's into comic looks amazing. It also wonderfully shows what kind of world Hels can be and the nightmare that is Tango's life. When I found the story, this intro was enough to get me hooked.

I think it's funny that the first part of an eleven chapter story (of which two are two-parters) is called a one-shot in the authors notes. I mean, I'm not a native English speaker and all that, but I don't think that's correct. Was it intended to be a stand-alone story? Had it been the plan for the AU to be told through short stories?

It's a small thing but I like how every new chapter/place is introduced by "Somewhere in [insert world], a player [is introduced, doing something]", with very minimal variations. It's a nice returning bit, through the whole story.

The way Tango's imprisonment is described is chillingly beautiful. It's horrific, but at the same time almost casual. But that's what is has become for Tango: just another day. In the same way, the manner of escaping is grueling, showing clearly his desperation. Well done.

It's so clearly noticeable, even through the immediate relief of escaping Hells Tek, that he's been through so much and that it impacted him so much. And then he decides to hide it and pretend it didn't happen for another decade. Even if he didn't fool people nearly as much as he thinks he did, it's so sad he though he needed to do that. Not to say that I can't understand it. Sadly, it probably stopped him from openly enjoying what he had: his freedom, all the wonderful experiences of the overworld and his friends. It's an amazing first chapter.

Also I love the way you write Xisuma.

And hello Bravo. I don't really like him as a character, too arrogant and snobbish. But at the same time, I love his journey and it's fun to follow him. He didn't deserve to be stranded here. But then again, that was kinda the point of the Universe's little experiment. I wonder, if he would one day learn about that, would it make him feel better or worse?

It's interesting to see his outside view of Hermitcraft. And them being considered a private bunch in this universe, while we see them pretty much place every block of their megabases, through streams and timelapses. Then again, in-story Hermitcraft is only in it's second world/season. I haven't been following Hermitcraft for THAT long, but it probably isn't a fair comparison. I wonder which of the Hermits Bravo was familiar with. Some of the redstoners, probably.

Timmy leaving his save spot to talk to Bravo wasn't something I noticed om my first read, and it's sweet of him. I love Timmy, and at the same time I want to yell at him for taking such poor care of himself. It's nice to see that through all he experienced he hasn't lost his kindness.

I've been definitely overthinking this, but while rereading Timmy explaining what Hels is to Bravo I was wondering how he knew the difference between Hells and a normal world. The logical explanation would be that some other player told him. But I remembered a post were there was mentioned Timmy was a Listener and I am a sucker for any Watcher Lore (and your version is great), so my mind came to the conclusion that a Watcher told Timmy. After all, he seems so lonely and so attention starved, that he would probably love it when the Watchers are around him. Maybe he tries to talk to them, make them stay a little longer. Most Watchers wouldn't be interested in him, since they can't make him leave. They would only be at spawn if someone more interesting has died without a respawn point. But maybe... Maybe some of the nicer Watchers decide to humor him, and talk for a moment. Maybe after a few times, they discover it's nice to sometimes just have a conversation with a player and just... start telling him things. Random bits of trivia, events that they've Watched somewhere else, things about their old lives. They would still be mostly doing other Watcher stuff, but when they are bored, or were about to visit Hels' spawn anyway, they stop by a certain avian.

Like I said, I've been overthinking this. It probably doesn't fit your story, but it has been fun to imagine. I like the idea that Timmy is one of the few players that is completely comfortable with being a Listener. And I like the idea of someone that people don't spend a second thought on casually having conversations with literal deities.

Back to Bravo for a moment. The stretchend out death-loop that is his way out of spawn is interesting to see. He starts out relatively optimistic but get's a hard and painful lesson on what life in Hels is like. By the time he meets the Arena recruiters he seems to understand why Timmy doesn't leave spawn. Bravo is glad with the resources he has, even though in any other world a second-day player would probably put him to shame. His first instinct on seeing players approach him is now to hide. He's already changed a lot, probably without even realizing it. And that is before he snaps.

The symmetry between the ending of one chapter and the start of the other is well done. One duo dies and Bravo finally gets a break in his struggle to survive. Another duo dies and Tango has a big setback in the game he's participating in.

The tone of chapter 3 is very different from the previous chapters. For a big part, it is an adaptation of Jimmy's and Tango's first episodes of the Double Life series. It's impressive how that part is both true to the source and a good adaptation. And then it smoothly transforms in your own work. Well done.

"They have only one bed." Look, I am very new to fanfiction, but even I know that this is a classic. I don't mind. Classics are classics for a reason, and you've written it good. I love the awkwardness here between the two of them.

Somehow the thing that's hardest to believe is that Grian would be the one to propose an end to the death-game, and it's funny that other characters seem to find that hard to believe as well. But it's a fun set-up to change mid-way in a death game to a survival world.

The addition that the soulbound can make you aware of your partners feelings and that it amplifies whatever is already between them. And thank you Impulse, for sharing your wisdom and for talking some sense into Tango. All the things Tango worries Jimmy will hate about him, seem to be the things he hates himself for. No wonder he feels unlovable. And thank you Pearl, for giving Tango some perspective.

So much of this chapter is just lovely and wholesome. After the Ranches have one good conversation, things just organically develop. Their relations grows closer and stronger. Tango learns to love and how it feels to be loved, he learns to be vulnerable, he slowly starts lowering his walls. There are still mountains of old pain, but there are new pieces that are healing as well. Thank you Jimmy, for being the healer that Tango needs. If only it would last.

Back to Hels. It's a nice detail that beds are a high end item. I guess that means making wool from string isn't possible (4 string into wool never felt right anyway). Though an anchor would prevent a long death loop by running out.

The inner workings of Hels Tek are a nice bit of information, though the place itself definitely is not. How does it compare to other redstone labs, like iRaid? Many workers probably only tolerate the restricting of their freedom because it's still better inside than being alone on the outside.

Clear is a fun character, especially when interacting with Atlas. He can get away with almost anything because he is just to valuable to loose in Atlas' eyes. He is a tragic mess but highly intelligent and takes pride in his work.

It's very telling that young Atlas, with just two minutes of life experience, already assumed the worst of others. That is not something he learned. Why would someone bother to plug a hole at spawn? Ease of traveling? And it's wood, valuable and burnable, it could have been part of a make-shift bridge, or something. Atlas really is the worst. Oh, and rule number one of Minecraft: don't dig straight down, smart guy.

It felt strange to me that Timmy lied to Atlas about Bravo, while pointing them in the direction that Tango want, the guy Atlas is actually looking for. But now I realize that Tango could "still see spawn in the distance", just before the portal spawned. Did Timmy in turn actually see Tango leaving and Bravo joining, from his higher vantage point? That would mean he probably did protect Tango, by not telling the full truth. Also, he's seen both of them. Has he noticed their likeness?

I hadn't caught on to Timmy casually lying Bravo in the first few times I read this chapter. It's sweet. And that he is able to do so while sounding casual surprises me. It feels like a stark contrast with his counterpart, who seems to be a bad liar and with an very emotive voice. And Timmy managed to do so in the face of a powerful man who has already subtilty threatened him and his with minions around. A quiet display of (inner) strength.

Timmy has delayed Atlas and Bravo meeting for five years, half the time Bravo spend in Hels. Five years without answers, five years without any hope of returning. If Atlas had found him the next time Bravo respawned (shot by a skeleton, if matched up chapter II and V correctly) Atlas would have put things together. Bravo would probably have jumped at the chance to get to Hels Tek, to civilisation, and he hadn't learned the "healthy Hels skepticism" yet. Atlas would be his savior! And would have been able to fully shape Bravo's image of Hels. Now, Bravo had to build his own image. Would he think it would have been worth those five years? Maybe, after he finally escaped Hels. I hope so, for Timmy's sake.

Tango had five more years on the overworld because of Timmy's lie. Five years of healing, but also five years of hiding and festering. He would have been in the fifth or sixth world of Hermitcraft, which would have had more resources than Double life. But the Hermit are more thinly spread and not focused on pvp. And on Hermitcraft, Tango probably would have been alone, when Hels Tek came for him. Others would have probably too far away to reach him in time, if they even knew were to go. Or maybe Tango would have been lucky and Hels Tek would have entered minutes before the final battle of the season 6 Prank War. Probably not but that would have been funny. There is a chance that the five extra years were unnecessary and only stopt him from fully healing but I think its way more likely that it saved him. On Double Life and with Jimmy at his side it seems that everything was exactly right for Tango being saved and to make sure his past won't come back to hound him anymore.

I truly hope that Timmy's little lie made things better in the end. I didn't realize that I had so much to say about one sentence in the story. I hope you didn't mind the sidetrack.

Atlas looking for Tango in the Arena seems to be the reason that the recruiters that made Bravo snap ran into him in the first place. Credits were it's due, thank you Atlas, for giving Bravo the means to gain things like good food, end-game armor and weapons. I still don't like you.

Considering Alisker has a spy in Hels Tek, and doesn't actually want hybrid farming to succeed, could the failing of respawn anchor be due to sabotage? Or maybe it was just the will of the Universe. Also, Alisker humiliating Atlas is very satisfying.

The downward spiral of Hels Tek is also very satisfying. It seems that Atlas never bothered to make any protocol for things taking a turn for the worst. I guess that just would be unimaginable for him. And then dr. Clear manages to halt that spiral in one lucid peptalk. That makes me sad that his lucid moments seem to be so rare and frustrated that he uses his skills and talents for Hels Tek. Clear Cut's mental health issues could be some form of heavy depression. That would be treatable. Earlier in the chapter it was mention he has to use potions of swiftness to be functional, but that sounds like management to me, not treatment.

The difference between Atlas meeting Bravo, and Atlas meeting a young Tango is interesting. Tango's base is hidden, while Bravo's is not. Bravo asks questions before deciding whether to attack, while Tango does not. Both of them are wary, but Tango seems eager to work in a redstone lab, while Bravo only sees it as a way home. All of these differences seem to be learned, though. And young Tango is cute.

Bravo at the start of chapter VI has plenty of Hels experience, but without Atlas having manipulated his worldview yet. Still, it's not a pretty picture. He thinks Atlas is probably dangerous because "he’s from Hels, after all". As if overworlders can't be dangerous. Does he know how players on anarchy servers can be? Does he know how an UHC works?

Overworld players gain the ability to travel between world as teenagers, and Bravo mentions next chapter that he probably stopped aging while still looking young. Tango was recruited as a teen, and spent only a few years in Hels Tek. He is the same age as Bravo. In other words, Bravo probably didn't have that much of a window between gaining access to multiverse travel and getting trapped in Hels. Maybe Bravo is just naive when it comes to overworld players.

You know, I really thought Atlas was the one to bring out the worst in Bravo, but perhaps all he did was stop Bravo from examining his own biases. I know Hels is a though place but I can't believe Bravo is that special for having a grand total of three pieces of furniture. He also already considers hybrid players part monster. One of his first thoughts on hearing Hels is an actual prisonworld is that the players that have spawned here must deserve it. And when Atlas guesses that Tango managed "to utilize [Bravo's] connection to leave Hels", Bravo interprets that as Tango willingly trapping him.

Bravo's early days in Hels Tek probably mirror those of Tango. A rundown of practices and procedures of the place, other scientist gathering information about him, leaving the communicator with other scientist to let them figure out the data. Probably to work with the same iron farm scientist Bravo talked to. But Bravo is aware what it's actually for, Tango was fed lies. And Tango was a teenager that had probably grown up feral and just entered a community for the first time.

Hels!Keralis is another fun character. I love that one of the extreme traits that he got from his counterpart is more eyes. How does he know that Bravo isn't from Hels? With the number of eyes he has it somehow wouldn't surprise me if he has some sort of special sight. Or it could be corporate spionage.

I haven't mentioned it before but the way you write the passage of time, with short snippits to show significant moments or changes, is very good. It really gets across how not everything happens in short order, how events can have far reaching effects and how change can happen slowly. It also helps you feel that time has passed and the world isn't static.

Once Bravo had his first impression of Patho, he really didn't bother updating his opinion unless other players made him. Bravo wonders what it could take to loose an eye, and there is something that can do that. In some of the worldbuilding posts it's mentioned that Martyn lost one eye, and Grian both of them, to Watchers. It would make sense that an experienced player would be recruited, but it could also just be an coincident. Bravo disapproves of the fangirling towards Patho, but I wouldn't be surprised if he once was a big fan of Etho. Legendary overworld redstoner and all that. (IRL during April Fools 2013, Etho was famous enough to get his own Minecraft block) The manner Patho let's Bravo know that he doesn't like to be touched is way over the top. Patho is another interesting character, but one of those that I'm very glad of that he's fictional. At the same time it's sweet of Patho that he is very much willing to educate others and share his knowledge.

I like the touch that the first two times the portal is lit, it has everchanging colours. Like the Hermitcraft portal Tango went trough. And it's later explained that inter-world portals have unique color-paterns, depending on their destination. So Tango is still on Hermitcraft in the early attempts. After that it switches to the red-yellow-green of the Traffic SMP/Life Series.

Bravo almost shows some critical thinking and empathy when he finds the Tango Tek farm, but it's immediately ruined when Atlas shows up. I hope Bravo gets nightmares about this when he finally learns how to self-reflect. Bravo's sarcastic reply on whether he has said his goodbyes is telling. He could have made friends if he had wanted to, I'm sure. The scientist had been welcoming and curious about him, and as a redstoner himself it's not as if they had nothing in common. That's a good base to build upon.

His first moments in ten years in the overworld are beautiful. Though Bravo has very many flaws, I do have sympathy for him gotten trapped in Hels. But not for anything else at the moment.

Jimmy reflecting on getting to know the Hermits is fun and wholesome. The little things he has learned about Tango, the thing he seems to love most about him, seem to be mainly related to being a blaze hybrid. All the things that are just Tango. That makes Bravo's claim that he should have been Jimmy's soulmate just plain wrong.

The whole conversation between Jimmy, Tango and Bravo is amazing. Jimmy is trying to figure out what is going on and all is knows for certain is that the person he loves is scared and hurting. And once again Bravo almost seem to realize the universe isn't as black and white as he though it was.

And then the fight! Tango's terror and fight response. Jimmy's terror. Tango's shutdown when he realized that he hurt Jimmy. Just wow. And Jimmy's reaction to seeing Tango freezing up is pretty much forgetting he is on fire because Tango needs him! Poor, poor Tango. Bravo clearly sees himself as a good guy by taking back his rightful place and trying to help Jimmy, not realizing that for Jimmy he is the villain and the leader of the group that invaded the Ranch and is kidnapping his boyfriend. And Jimmy placing himself between the invaders and the portal, knowing he can't win is a beautiful show of his care, courage and determination. These guys have very shallow definitions of strength and weakness.

The Cavalry arrives! And the announcing their presence with the horns is very much Double Life. I know that battles are hard to write, but you did an amazing job with it. It's definitely chaotic with much going on, but it's clear to read and good to follow. Every Lifer does their part in the battle and everyone has their own fighting style.

Was Bravo so angry of Atlas that he tried to follow him back to Hels? The place that he tried to leave for ten years? The moment the portal breaks he is surrounded by overworlders. He can blame the battle going wrong and the mistrust of the players on Atlas, but they give Bravo a chance to explain himself and he messed that up all on his own. And Bravo has seen they are pretty much what he thinks overworlders should be. It's a server where they don't grief bases, where they work/fight together, where they defend each other, where they ask questions and don't immediately attack. (Outside the battle, but that doesn't count, they saw their servermates in trouble.) But they don't welcome Bravo as one of their own. They restrain him and mistrust him. They don't see him as different from the other players that came trough the portal. ("What did you guys do to him", emphasis mine) They hear his explanation but don't believe him. They dislike it so much they kill him, meaning this time he is send to Hels and it's not a fluke or mistake. It's overworld players wanting him gone.

I don't think he realizes this, not at first at least, he has his mind on other things. But once he has time to process what happened? It has got to hurt, even if he doesn't admit to himself he was wrong. I think it all does help later with Tango's words finally reaching him.

Jimmy's fear of not knowing were Tango is when the portal is broken is so real. So is the relief on knowing he's still (physically) with them. Scar being the one to shoot Bravo feels right. Scar has a goofy and easygoing demeanor, but he is very capably and not someone who you should cross, and Bravo did that by saying nasty things about his friend.

It's a relief that Bravo has finally up enough to stop working with Atlas. Progress? His fight against the hired muscle parallels the fight Tango had in brutality, as much as he might deny it. and slicing his own neck is brutal as well.

I'm still not sure how to feel about the Bravo/Timmy reunion. I'm happy that Timmy isn't alone anymore, that he is with someone who has been, not quite nice, but at least polite towards him. At the same time Bravo isn't doing this for the right reasons, he later admits as much himself. He is using Timmy as a substitute for Jimmy. Thing is, he doesn't know Jimmy. Is he really so hung op over the whole 'should-be-soulmates' thing over a stranger? I don't get it, and that could very wel just be a me problem. But he does want Timmy around, even if he's not Bravo's first choice. Since Bravo stepped through the portal that was supposingly taking him to Hermitcraft, Timmy might have been the only one that has been there for him. Timmy was the one who explained Hells to him, without trying to manipulate him. He has been welcoming to him. He has been the one who showed sympathy when Bravo died. The only thing Timmy wanted was not to be alone, but he didn't force that. I hope Bravo's biases don't blind him towards all that.

And that final sentence. If he can’t have the sun, he’ll learn to love its shadow. I know I haven't been the only one going crazy over that. That one sentence it saying so much. I've also have been (over)thinking what that makes Timmy, symbolism wise. The sun doesn't actually have a shadow, being a light source. But there is one thing, it isn't a real shadow, but there is something that is a lack of sunlight. If Jimmy is the sun, Timmy is the night sky. Both are beautiful on their own.

Back to Double life and their aftermath of the battle. I like that you fully wrote the aftermath. Things like this often get skipped or summarized. Now things have calmed down a little, the players have room to feel their exhaustion, their fear, their pain, to become more aware of their wider surroundings and to start figuring out what actually happend. It seems that no matter the universe, the Ranch is destined to burn down. It's sad to see, especially with how warm and cosy you had written the place. And ofcourse Etho and Joel have water buckets, with that clutching trick they love doing.

The state Tango is in, is heartbreaking. No one seems to be sure how to handle that situation, except Impulse, but that might just be appearances. Impulse and Jimmy have a very similar comforting warmth around them, I'm not sure how to call it. So, while Jimmy might feel useless (and the 'intrusive thoughts' aren't helping), I don't think he would have done a bad job with helping Tango. But Impulse has known Tango for years, and has some experience. And he didn't just went through the things that Tango or Jimmy just did. Jimmy's comment about the lights show that he does know Tango, no matter what he thinks. It's interesting that the comments from the Watchers right after are ambiguous in whether they are directed at Jimmy or Impulse.

You cannot sleep, there are monsters nearby. That sentence fills me with dread ever time I read it. It's a dread probably every survival minecrafter knows. And for that sentence to be directed towards Tango is devastating. Luckily Jimmy knows just wat to say to pull Tango out of it. The whole conversation after feels beautifully sad and vulnerable and raw. And it's once again devastating that Tango still feels that he has to be strong in front of Jimmy and only let's himself cry when he thinks there's no one to see it. But Jimmy is not doing nothing, he is being Tango's shoulder to cry on, an that is worth a lot.

The game-chat log of the battle is a fun read. It's very bare-bones, due to it's nature but it gives a good overview and a good indication of how the other Lifers reacted. You have a very good grasp of how you can use the chat in the story. Also, good job Bravo, you did the impossible and make Jimmy hate someone.

Tango's desperate attempt to avoid talking about what happend is painful, and it doesn't exactly work when other players were actually there to witness it. He's still afraid of being rejected because of the truth. And when de finally talks about his past he uses the word 'evil' to describe the players of Hells multiple times, he really believes it. Of course, his friends know better. I like how mad the Lifers are about Tango's past, how offended they are for his sake. And Tango's fear of they kicking him out never crossed their minds.

Whether or not it makes sense for this AU to have a concept of years, I'm glad they exists because it makes it much easier as a reader to keep track of time and of a player maturity. Gradual growth isn't really a thing in Minecraft, so it could even work as kind of sub-growth-stages between player children, teens and adults.

Another vulnerable conversation between Tango and Jimmy, with Tango admitting things he probably never said out loud before. But how bad is it really if he found a healthy way indulge in his questionable desires? And it's not like death is permanent. I can't argue with Tango saying he's messed up, but that's the trauma, not an inherent part of him.

I don't think he has deceived and lied as much as he thinks he has. His friends seemed to realize that Tango had a traumatic past and that some things set him of. They knew Tango didn't want to talk about it so they didn't ask. And he may have hidden his past and a part of his personality, but that was mostly lying by omission. Were the parts of his personality he did show false? Did he not want people to have fun with his games? I highly doubt that.

And it's not as if he's the only one with questionable personality traits on this server. In chapter IV Pearl gave him a bucket of powdered snow so she wouldn't succumb to the temptation of torturing her own soulmate, for example. Nobody is perfect, don't try to live up to an impossible standard.

The good thing about Tango saying all his insecurities aloud is that others can point out he's wrong, and Jimmy let's him know very clearly. Tango seems to be so surprised about it. He never considered his fears being wrong.

All things considered the Ranchers seem to handle the burned out ranch well. They're sad about it and Tango feels guilty, and that makes sense, but no anger or panic or deeply repressed feelings. Progress? Jimmy's comment about liking to wear the gloves is cute. Him not giving them back to Tango is also saying that Tango doesn't need to hide his claws, or himself. I thinks Tango is starting to understand that, even if he has trouble believing it. Same with all the players showing up, Tango sees that the truth about him hasn't scared them off.

I guess that there have been times that all the hiding was too overwhelming at times. Those probably moments Tango looked for Hels. If he was there wouldn't have to keep lying to his friends. He would have felt so much guilt, especially after learning that he had a counterpart that was probably trapped there. So it's a good thing it doesn't show up.

The similarities and differences between Patho and Etho explaining the portals stuff are fun. They have different experience with portals and different tools to work with, but they figured it out. And Patho isn't willing to give up one redstone ore block, while Etho is willing to get up and look for one with a friend.

Every time Tango mentions something about his past in Hels, Impulse seems to be in conflict to be a comforting presence or to be in righteous furry. It's hard to blame him. It's nice to see Impulse and Jimmy kind of team up to try to help Tango work trough everything.

I'm not sure how firewalls and whitelists work (or don't work) in combination with hacked portals. I'm also not sure how those exactly work. Then again, I know it's more important that they work than how they work. My brain just wants to understand it.

Tango, I get that you want to protect your friends but going into Hels alone isn't the solution. That way they at least get hurt by your actions and you actually encourage them to make unprepared, desperate attempts to get you back. If Tango had succeeded in breaking the portal, the Double Lifers would still try to follow. Since they know Bravo met Etho's counterpart, they would probably open a portal with his data. That would definitely have been interesting, but that would not have been good.

Thankfully, Jimmy is there to prevent all that. It's good to see that he stands his ground when Tango wants to cut others out, even though Jimmy has his own insecurities to deal with. And he already followed him to Hels, so of course Jimmy wouldn't think twice about following Tango into a trap.

Bravo has so many villainous vibes. It's a miracle he hasn't noticed it yet. He has figured out why they are here, but at the same time doesn't seem to realize they are here to help. And the hypocrite is calling Tango a monster for his temper, while he started the fight because of his anger. Bravo is a very good fighter, we've already seen, he's been in much tougher fights against much more experienced fighters. So it's not that surprising that the Ranchers lose.

Even after they lose Bravo keeps on hurting Tango with actions and words. It's no wonder that Tango realizes that the personality trait he hates so much about himself -a thing that makes him believe that he deserves all the bad stuff- is something he inherited from Bravo. It's something he only has because it comes from his 'better' counterpart. And that realisation gives him wat he needs to get through to Bravo.

Bravo's breakdown is beautiful to watch. You can see his whole beliefsystem falling apart and him having nothing to keep up his mental strength. It's so well written. For all the wrongs he's done, I never saw him as an evil person. Arrogant, biased and misguided, yes. Even so, he came to Hels with a strong sense of justice but he had to spend so much energy on just surviving that somewhere along the way he had to give it up. One can only have a survival mentality for so long before things have to give.

Tango understanding what Bravo must have been trough heartwarming. And I'm very much with him on this. Him embracing and accepting Bravo and Bravo finally accepting him is great. And now it's time for Bravo to begin his redemption arc. I absolutely love redemption arcs and -though I don't think Bravo's finished at the end of the story- this is a good one.

Timmy and Jimmy meeting each other is pretty much the opposite of Bravo and Tango meeting. No mistrust or hostility at all but mostly awe. It's nice how Tango describes it in his point of view. Timmy admitting he understand why he isn't good enough is just so sad. He knew Bravo couldn't fully accept him as he was, and he sees that his doppelgänger looks much better than him (rather objectively, being healthy beats being unkept and skin-over-bones). Jimmy basically goes all 'protective big brother' over Timmy, it's great. It's a relief that Bravo learned to (or at least started to) see Timmy as his own person.

The last scene of chapter X. It was so frustrating to wait to see wat happened next. Bravo seemed to be on Tango's side, so it would probably be a ruse. At the same time, it wouldn't have been the first time if Bravo had lost his temper and stopped being smart. I'm rather new in the fandom side of Minecraft Youtubers, so this was the first chapter I came across and the first time I had to wait for an update. I found it after someone reblogged some of Lunarcorwn's art (along with a tiny excerpt) about this chapter. I was immediately fascinated, and after the intro comic, I was sold.

The start of the next chapter doesn't give immediate resolution to a first time reader. Bravo is definitely convincing. He has to be, Atlas is not easily fooled. But knowing what's going on there seem to be small tells in how Bravo acts. Or maybe I'm just imagining things. Bravo's aggression looks like anger but is probably his newfound guilt and insecurity. He only talks to answer Atlas' questions, his speech seems more to the point while at the same time he uses more filler words.

It's interesting to see Bravo trying to trust Tango and Jimmy, while at the same time having learned to be distrustful of everything. He's really going back and forth between the two. Thankfully, Tango is understanding and shows him grace. Why does Bravo tense up when Tango mentions his friends won't attack on sight? Had he forgotten that overworld players don't tend to do that? It would probably be painful for him to realize there are things he has unlearned or forgotten.

Poor Timmy probably hasn't interacted with more that one person in ages. The Double Lifers must be very much overwhelming, especially since many of them aren't exactly low-energy players.

It's Tango's job to make sure his friends don't go with a bad -but easier- plan? Talk about role reversal.

The conversation between Bravo and Timmy by the portal is nice. I like whatever kind of relation they have, messy as it is. I'm not saying it's good, but it's interesting to read about. They each have many issues. Bravo is now aware of that, but I'm not sure if Timmy is. I'm not even sure Timmy knows what a healthy relationship looks like. They both care about each other and I think they could help each other out. But at the same time, Bravo has anger issues and biases against Hels players and hybrids and Timmy is both and probably wouldn't set any boundaries. At this moment them being together could either be healing or toxic. So I get Bravo's hesitance.

Jimmy's hostility towards Bravo is so odd to see. It's so unlike him, though it's fully earned. Tango and Bravo sharing their braincells while coming up with a plan is fun, especially since Tango has to tell his friends that every time that, yes, he is on board with what Bravo says.

I admire Tango's courtage to enact the plan. Then again it's in a way a variant on Tango's earlier plan to sacrifice himself, now it's only temporary. It's no wonder he looses his nerves and fully panics at the last moment when he is actually faced with the machine that caused most of his suffering. Once again: poor guy.

Bdubs has a point about Bravo calling others bad, but Patho literally disemboweled him so I think Bravo is being fair in his case. As for instinctSV, he barely appears in the story, so that's hard to say. But I don't think you get to lead a company in Hels by being trusting and charitable.

Grian and his Watcher abilities! This is a great moment to use his powers, especially since he so hesitant to use them. And he and Jimmy are right, this is not the moment to explain it all. This is the second time that Grian uses his silent 'Watcher voice' in a group meeting and this time there is an extra Listener around. Grian's secret is all but out.

Grian getting Mumbo to come with him with some crazy but true explanation somehow sounds like a very Grian thing to do. I love your portrayal of Mumbo. It's been a lot so it's no surprise that he needs a moment to wrap his head around it. Mumbo is a good friend, keeping how he helped/helps with Grian's eyes a secret. And Grian turned up on his redstone world? Wouldn't that be single-player? How did Grian manage that? And it's good to know that Grian told Mumbo what happend over time.

Something that stood out was that Mumbo stopped himself from tugging his mustache. The way it was worded was like a habit he tries to unlearn. It was also something Clear did but didn't seem to mind.

Tango finally understands he doesn't have to do this on his own and that he can rely on his friends. The warmth he has for the people around him here is so sweet. And he finally doesn't just want to confront his past, but actually wants to put it behind him. He still thinks that the "entire mess is solely his fault" (as if he asked for it) but he knows they will do whatever it takes to help him. "Is it really any wonder he learned how to be a good person just by knowing them?" Just beautiful! Though, is he seriously gonna give Jimmy a lecture about self-blame? That's just funny.

It's promising that Bravo corrects himself about the burned Ranch. Especially since nothing about it is even spoken out loud. He might have had a change of view, fully ingrained change requires more than that. But Bravo is willing to work on it. He does note himself that he wouldn't have been able to see Tango's influence on the interior.

It's entertaining to see how Bravo describes the Lifers, and Mumbo. The sentiment of wanting to kill Atlas is very understandable. Though Bravo is the Plan Guy, Jimmy is the leader here. He listens to Bravo because Bravo has the most expertise. But Jimmy is the one who the rest listens to, the one who keeps the conversation on track and the one who validates the plan.

Tango and Bravo realizing how much they both have changed due to were they have been living feels like something they needed. I like how they are now that they're not hostile towards each other. Bravo and Timmy's realisation neither of them is a builder is a fun parallel of Tango and Jimmy, and I'm glad Tango is there to watch it. It feels promising somehow.

Once again, Jimmy is being a leader here. Checking in, helping, dispelling fears. I highly doubt that Jimmy sees himself as a leader, though. The talk between Jimmy and Bravo is amazing. It just radiates growth and caring.

Tango in the farm. Oof. It's amazing how he is so close to drowning in despair, but still manages to find something to hold on to. And then he realizes he was strong enough to survive it all before, and that he is stronger now. It's wonderful how he let his good memories strengthen him, and that while he is currently living through his worst nightmare.

Clear not realizing Hels Tek is being invaded and said invaders being fine with Clear just continuing to do his own thing is really amusing. Clear 'recognizing' Grian is so sad. But Grian doesn't seem to have the instinctive recognition of his counterparts name, and later when said counterpart realizes Grians name, it's not his player name. That's interesting. I appreciate that Grian stays with Clear and I wonder what is said between them off screen. I hope Clear eventually realizes Grian is not Scáil.

The invasion of Hels Tak is a fun read. Overpowering the first guard went so smooth! Then the ravager just had to shake things up. It's nice that during everything, Pearl and Scott seem to have patched things up and are flawlessly working together now. Jimmy seems to notice a 'intrusive thought' cutting another off, noticing how odd that is, even if he doesn't understand wat it means. Bravo and Jimmy fighting in sync is awesome! What's also a difference between this fight and the previous is that Jimmy uses his wings while fighting. Something that wouldn't be fair in a friendly fight. Tango notices later that he fights way better when he does use his non-human-side, for Jimmy it might be the same.

It's so nice that Jimmy notices that Tango lost the fear he always carried with him. He handled the last hours in the farm well. The first time I read this part I was so worried that there wasn't any mention of breaking the respawn anchor. I couldn't imagine that they would forget while standing right in front of it. Luckily there was no need for a respawn. I had also been a little nervous about Timmy and Bravo, had they made sure they would respawn at Double Life if their spawn point got reset? (Is that even possible for Timmy with his Hells-comm?)

Sweet Jimmy does not tolerate his boyfriend being name-called. And sweet Tango won't stand for his boyfriend being hurt. They're cute like that. It's good to see that Tango being called a monster has lost its power to hurt him, no matter how hard Atlas tries. He's finally able to fully accept his mob-side. It feels good that the three of them manage to piss of Atlas so much that he finally cracks, giving Tango the closure he needs. And then what's probably the most satisfying punch in Hels' history, even inflecting permanent damage.

This is the first time Tango consciously reached out for his own fire, isn't it? His own firestorm is a beautiful thing. And powerful. I'm so happy for Tango! Atlas having to helplessly watch how Tango casually strolls to the portal is extra satisfying.

Atlas just sitting outside and letting his laboratory burn really shows how defeated he is. If he was any other person I would probably feel sorry for him. And why is he so surprised that Tango and Bravo are the ones that beat him? They're both smart people that know how he works and with plenty of reasons to hate him. Are they really that unlikely to bring him down? Or did he underestimate them because they don't have the authority to boss others around? Good thing Tango had his friends on his side and that Bravo understood the power of friendship.

And then bX has the pleasure of kicking Atlas while he's down. Must have been a great relief too, to let the hybrid-farmer know his life's work was done for.

Even for the Hermits that had known something was 'off' about Tango, finally hearing what happened must have been a shock, for the ones that didn't know yet. And for Tango it must be nice to be able to tell it on his own terms, this time. He probably knew by now that the Hermits wouldn't abandon him after telling the truth, but having conformation must still feel great. It's also great that talking about it is becoming easier.

Alisker and xB are very sweet together. Very different from how they interact with other people. I admire Alisker's long term plan and how successfully it played out. He really made sure Atlas' damage stayed limited. I just wish his plans hadn't required for Tango to be locked in the farm in the first place.

I think it's a wise choice for Bravo to take some time for himself. Processing and healing from everything that happened can be nasty, and at those times it's nice not needing to mindful of others. At the same time, part of me is worried he's gonna overcorrect himself or close himself off. I'm not sure how excluded different worlds are, and how much contact players can have through the multi-net, but I hope that Bravo stays in contact with at least Timmy. It's sweet that Bravo clearly cares about Timmy's progress as well and that he regrets they both have to take different roads to heal.

The progress Timmy has already made is wonderful to see. Not only physically, he questions Bravo's decision to go and voices his discontent. Gently, but still. It feels like he's learning how to stand up for himself. Timmy himself really wanting to grow as a person is very promising, especially as someone who represents his counterparts (*checks external authors posts*) passiveness and victimhood.

Dbubs first appearance in the main story! His and Patho's relationship is both so warm and unhealty. I love complex people and I love complex people being even more complex together, and this story is full of them! I also love it every time when players are having that instinctual recognition at the proof of existence of their counterpart on page, whether is just the name or meeting face to face.

I wonder why exactly Patho wants to leave. It's not he didn't know about them having counterparts. Why does it suddenly matter? Is it because they visited Hells? Because they visited Hells together? Because of the recognition Patho felt? Or is it something else?

False, seriously? I don't think having someone chained up like an animal is keeping you in Tango's good graces. And you basically told him it could wait until he got back, while you're holding your twin prisoner! There might be something wrong with Sym, but what's wrong with you? It sounds like an interesting story, and I definitely have questions.

Poor Scáil. His suffering might actually surpass that of Tango in the farm. And if he's been like this since he left Hels Tek, it's been more than a decade, considering they never met. How did he become like this? I know it's related to Grian almost becoming a (full) Watcher, but this can't be how this is supposed to go. And even Grian has control of his abilities. Scáil using Grian's Watcher name makes me wonder how how much player vs Watches they actually are. Grian, please check in on your counterpart.

Stress' way of talking is always fun. Her and Doc's origin is cool. And I'm curious what your interpretation of the Hivemind is. Doc not having a Hels is a big relief, considering Doc himself already loves creating game-breaking machines. That trait would be terrifying on someone with a Hels mentality, let alone an amplified version of that trait. I understand why they are conflicted about it, though.

I'm glad we finally see Instinct in person. I like him and the vibe he gives off. Atlas working for him is amazing, how far he has fallen! I hope Instinct enjoys bossing him around.

Tango making the video about Hels and how to get there surprised me when I first read it, even though it makes sense. A lot of Hels players will probably change for the better because of it. It might also wreck the Hels economy. Overworld players could give their counterparts a way out, or provide them with resources that are easy to get in a normal world.

I have so many questions about it all. Can mobs travel through portals? How would it work when someone creates a portal in a creative world? Could they just spawn in rare items (elytra's or even things like spawn eggs) and bring them to Hels? Can counterparts create hacked portals when both of them are at different places in Hels? If so, that would create fast-travel. That would be especially valuable in such a giant world.

It would probably kind of sting for Bravo to see the video. Everything he needed to know and took him a decade to figure out, quickly explained in one video, uploaded not long after he finally escaped. Not that I think he woud disagree with uploading it, it's just, where was that when he needed it?

The idea of Bravo seeing Tango's video is interesting. Bravo could see all the videos Tango made while he was trapped in Hels. All the inventions and games (first Decked Out) that Tango created, all the projects he worked on with other Hermits. Tango could see the ones that Bravo made before they switched places. He could see how Bravo acted before Hels crushed him, the friends he had back in the day and how young he was when he got trapped. I wonder if they do that, and how it influences how they see each other.

It's very nice how you worked Steve, Herobrine and Alex in this universe. Does the Hels firewall being down also mean that overworld comms now work there properly? Herobrine being Hels former admin makes sense, as the first counterpart, though I hadn't expected it. It's nice that there won't be new player condemned to spawning in Hels.

The scene with Jimmy and Tango is just lovely. The cuffs and everything they stood for were so loaded for Tango. I'm glad he's finally able to take them off, and that Jimmy understood how much it meant for his soulmate.

I love how the last paragraph is inspired by the end credits poem. And I love how it both does and does not breaks the forth wall, and the things it explains. It's a nice touch that it's in-story explained by Aqua and Lunar.

-----

And that was it. For the main story anyway. I've also read the short stories from the Hels To Pay universe, but I leave that for another time. Maybe. I liked writing this but I've had enough for now. If you actually read all of this, you have my uttermost respect.

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playingforever · 2 months

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Your streams are delightful! Do you and Avvy have any feelings on any of the other nightmares from the sequel? - retrospring ask [link]

(Assuming you're asking on what monsters/enemies I like and such...) Haiii, sure do. A mix of intrigue in the technical aspects of the designs as well as lore. Though overall my favorite aspect of LN2 is that everything can be analyzed as an aspect of Mono's psyche in Some manner... I always appreciate when an environment lets me process a protagonist more. (This is the appeal of Headspace/Blackspace in OMORI, as well as the backdrop of the labyrinth in Rebellion.) Subsequently...

... it should be unsurprising my favorite ghoul is actually the Thin Man. Now he looks, f-funny, to me, I mean in this world of hideous beings it's so funny to just get tall. In isolation he's rly like 'lol' to look at. Slenderman ass... But I think he is well utilized in his scenes. I enjoy watching him crawl out that TV. The calm slow walk expresses what it needs to, he's not a beast lunging at you. More methodical than that. Has been waiting patiently for this. I like the instrumentation of his theme, somehow layering the feel of a ticking clock, a heartbeat, and marching footsteps. His powers are also simply Very Cool, and since he is Mono it folds into Mono being Very Cool. I like the area of effect, slowing everything around him, glitching & blipping forward, kind of twitching around himself. Jerky animatronic.

I like that one could spend the game being like ohh Thin Man scary and menacing me... but once you get to the ending twist, you're forced to think about how this is a manifestation of Mono's sadness. That the Thin Man is the end result of sitting alone in a chair, agonized and alone. Becoming, haggard and pulled like taffy and stoic, because you are lonely... The fact that this misery then blasts out in the transmission all across the city and perpetuates everyone else's loneliness as well, it's like damn... He really sad tho... I suppose I find it moe. It's just suuch a dramatic response to rejection, you know.

Whatever his motivations or thought process is when kidnapping Six, I think they must be intresting and multi-faceted. Torment her...? But, enshrine her in a room with toys and her music-box forever...? It's Mono so I think his self-hate also manifests in being unable to resist making his past-self suffer to some capacity (using Six as live-bait feels petty, knowing that Mono is going to scrabble at her like GRR GIVE ME MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Even if Thin Man is perpetuating his own existence (having Mono steadily build powers & prime him for taking the Signal Tower for himself) it still feels more garbled and disordered than it ought to be. Or perhaps he himself also fully believes he can usurp fate from himself, through will-power alone. It might even be both, kind of; I don't think his mind is very linear so... [waves hand]

Now in tandem with the Thin Man, I really like the entity that is the Signal Tower itself. It can't really be looked at the same as the other inhabitants of the world, because it's not an Individual Person or anything (much like the Maw.) But I like how it's powers operate and what it utilizes at it's disposal. Have been regarding it kind of like a 'psychic parasite' to humanity. I think it craves a host with strong emotions that it can amplify and broadcast outwards, and I think ideally it would like someone who can Suffer Endlessly. Which is why Mono is such a perfect fit lol, it can perpetuate his warped view of the world and keep him running his little hamster wheel of a time loop, and he simply Will Do It, Forever, because he's so obsessive. I think other victims could easily fizzle out, or become so miserable they're helpless and unmotivated — and I imagine that's actually USUALLY what's happened until it got it's hands on Mono. Me and Avvy have discussed and, we've mused that perhaps it was a more unassuming building, perhaps it wasn't a tower before. It might have manifested in the city one day, and TVs are wholly its invention (imagine humanity just wouldn't have this technology without it.) And people would be enthralled by it and losing themselves to it, but LESS, full-scale total apocalyptic levels of the entire city warped.

The remnants of advertisements of the Maw actually give me the impression that there was a society functioning enough that... Like you could have a steady flow of SOME individuals going to the Maw, but it wasn't debilitating the population. Perhaps it mostly drew in the extravagantly wealthy, and those with 'nowhere else to go'. (Hunger triggering for the greedy & those with great absence in their lives.) Likewise, I figure the Signal Tower's transmission preyed upon those uniquely weak-willed and desperate for escapism, willing to stare at their TV all day. The potency of Mono's feelings eventually lets it expand to having dominion over a wider-radius, and effect time and space, and I think each loop degrades the world further and further... And the more you degrade the world, the more people ARE desperate to engage with the TV... the more TVs are proliferating and riddling the city in every nook n cranny... Like the city becoming riddled with bedbugs lol.

It's stimulating to think about. And, scary! Effectively scary enough that I now am kind of stressed that there is a TV in the Maw... when paired with the stinger in the DLC that alludes to the Thin Man watching, it makes me feel like ah yabai! The transmission can reach underwater, in the depths of the Maw... doesn't even 'care' that it's taking root inside a different entity exploiting humanity. Though I think the Maw really dgaf as long as it's perpetually eating, very Thog Don't Care about it (lol...) Maybe thog cannot even notice a TV more than it does the Guests' usual luggage and shoes and whatever detritus they bring in. Equivalent to the fur and bones an owl doesn't digest, compacting into the gizzard. Maw have a lot of room so Maw don't notice.

Now hm... what else... OH YES! There's a scrapped track related to an encounter that would have been with one of the TVs... the track is called Hypno, and there are unused animations for Mono appearing hypnotized, so it seems there would have been a threat of being under the thrall of the TV, like the Viewers do/are. I ultimately UNDERSTAND!! Why it was scrapped — it doesn't really make sense for Mono to be vulnerable to the transmission the way others are. I think cutting this sequence grants more integrity to Mono being able to commune with the TVs, as a unique host and ultimate master of the Signal Tower. When he approaches TVs strobing in light, Six covers her head from it, and cannot draw near. It's likely unbearable for basically anyone but Mono to approach (and even he is hunched & crumpling from the force of tuning the transmission.) So... I like-! This decision! In the long-run!

But I really love the Hypno track, and I'm very glad people have been able to unearth it. Because it's very serene and angelic. Which gives us a way of simulating the thrall that everyone is experiencing... Between that and the way Six is violently protective of her music box & miserable to be pulled out of its lull... It makes you understand why the Signal Tower works on everyone. In a world like this, wouldn't you just want to be bathed in that calm placidity, even if it warped and twisted you-? What is there to 'go back to'? Devilish and effective creature, the Signal Tower...

(If I could have my cake and eat it to, I'd have kept this portion of the game + theme, but simply had it be that Six is threatened with the hypnosis. If TVs had been very limited in presence outside of tuning, until you get to the heart of the city... and you'd pass by some engrossed viewers... then finally have to cross a threshold of a room where a TV is suspended & out of touch-radius, but emitting it's lovely tune, and there was no 'fully avoiding it'... I'd love to have to shepherd Six past this, while she tries to cover her ears and look away... and ah the intrigue one would have like, why doesn't it work on Mono...? Paper bag protection...? Somehow that doesn't seem right though... After the ending, I think you'd feel even more as though the Pale City is Mono's performance of protecting Six, because he's the reason there's a thrall to even 'protect' her from lol.)

AHMM! Now onto the rest.. -!!!! I feel like I could effectively summarize my order of interest as: The Hunter > The Doctor > The Teacher. The Hunter beats out everyone by having his setting simply be my favorite in the game. Love me a spooky isolated wilderness... cabin in da woods. Yeahh! I'm so glad we start here... In our stream, me and Avvy were uncontrollably admiring the cabin and what we could infer about his life here. He's an interesting guy with many hobbies, the Hunter... Whilst he gets described as 'bloodthirsty' (and I understand they're trying to convey this by having the taxidermy 'trophy' angle & the killing/trapping) he ah, doesn't quite read to me as killing for the sake of it. All the traps set outside the perimeter of the cabin, to Me, feel like they're for the sake of 'warding off' others; protective urges. As Mono nears his cabin, the dread to Me is 💭 oh god, this person really Really doesn't want anyone coming here... bc the traps become excessive the closer you get, and bodies are just left to rot. I suppose it's also the fact that there aren't like, scores of stuffed/mounted people in the house; it's specifically an impression of a 'family'. A mom and dad and child at a table... baa-chan in the attic... I must assume they're his family, or at least a family that meant a lot to him.

IMO it's not as if Tarsier would be unwilling to show us mounted human heads on the wall or something, I think the Hunter just Would have a trophy room if they wanted that to be the case lol. But ultimately they must have understood it'd be more tasteful & intimate to have there be such a select few people you see. Leaves more of an effect... And then the Hunter becomes a strange 'provider' for this family, by doing all the work of hunting game / skinning pelts / making leather / prepping meals to serve them. Even if it's unwell, it's methodical in a sense... And likely an endless obsession, as when Mono enters the cabin we see a kettle on in the kitchen, and what is likely a new batch of stew. I like that we see a sewing machine and things like birdhouses also piled along the trail & in his cabin, too. More meticulous things, sewing and wood-working... 'providing'. Truly a guy with a life he works away at... Bringing his own form of escapism here.

On a simpler note, I like him bag head and scary breathing sounds. I think you can watch breath puff out the hole in the bag when he is pursuing Mono and Six... kowai.. I really do not know what to make of the tears in his body. I've been thinking of him as reaching an eccentric point of stuffing his own clothes and bulking self out, to match his now-stuffed family. A bit like he lost the plot on the functionality and purpose of it all... but ah, who knows what's under there. It troubles me that he is similar enough in look to Mono (bag.. head...?) and that he initially has Six imprisoned. (Knowing that Mono is ultimately her captor?) I Don't Know What To Make Of It.

As for the Doctor... less to say here... He's unfortunately the most upsetting thing to look at in the game to me kfkfhhf... bloated corpse terrible uhh bunched hideous body crawling on the ceiling and what-all... But lol let's say that despite all that, I must be intrigued by the fact that he's got one of the most? Mutual? Consensual? Relationships with the beings in his 'domain'. It's unique. The Doctor is dutiful and his Patients are adoring; the Doctor believes what his work is important to conduct, the Patients believe that his treatments can help ease their suffering. However they've distorted, I feel as though their current state still carry this belief. So as the Doctor continuously hacks off their heads and massages their prosthetic limbs, the Patients accept it as the remedy they need to feel better.

The Doctor may be Upsettin' to look at, but the Patients are upsettin' in the interesting way, so I enjoi their designs. It's so excessive lol... ahrhh wrapped heads and face-plates on the ends of wires. Gotta get you all to stop watchin' them TVs!! Lol... Only move when there's no electricity on OK? Good.

Alsoo the life support patient scene to me is a good way to make us... question... what exactly Mono is capable of... While perhaps you could feel vindicated for smashing bullies endlessly, does it really feel good to pull the plug on a wrapped up, slowly-breathing body... Just to distract a guy to grab a fuse? How selfish lol... and then luring him away just to either incinerate him or leave him to starve, excessively cruel. You really are a disturbance that the Doctor feels justified in squashing!! Unruly behaviors.

As for the Teacher and the Bullies I really have the least to say about them. They don't contribute as much to the theme of escapism as I wish they did. However I think the cafeteria scene is very Tfw perspective of a child who felt tormented by other children. It's such an unkind way to see children but it's pretty raw if you've been, well, like ostracized and bullied and also felt alien to other children. Yeah they wind up feeling like terrible little screaming beasties that are slapping each other on the head and forcing things into each others mouths, right. Damn Mono... As for the Teacher ig I wish I could know what she uhh. Feels... about all the little child prisons around the school... Like hey girl. What happened. You good? [insert, the mysterious off screen scene of her whipping herself with a ruler.] It's a mysterious world.

[thinks...] Oh yeah the Viewers. Well I think it's funny how they BLAST FACE BEAM FRY YOU UP when they get you. Not much else to say. But I don't begrudge them, as they are the sheeple who did not deserve this fate. It's not right how Mono starts murking them left and right once Six has been taken from him. They exemplify how everyone is collateral to his obsession... Scene at the rooftops with them all jumping off very poignant for this, as Mono persists in search for Six.

Everything in the Pale City is more or less a victim to the Signal Tower, so there's no one I truly hate or can't stand... Oh, but I realize that's also how I feel about everything in the Maw as well. Maybe in a world like Little Nightmares, it's difficult to truly vilify anyone, because they're all kind of helpless past a point aren't they...

Avvy wrote a post on her tumblr ranking ghouls from 1 & 2, if you want to see that also.

#crossposting bc why not

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the-firebird69 · 3 months

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This is also the guy who put the tube up his **** we went in in Landrigan he says is that gay guy who wiped out on the motorcycle and somehow says he can blame me and he's completely full of **** and he was not motorcycling with Will Pierce that was actually Trump and there it is again he's blaming me for what happens to him so what I say is you want to die now but really why don't you wait your turn and have predators take care of you and you guys force these things on these people and then you try and collect it and you're out front and you get cut in half and you're saying You're Trump and you're not you're this massive **** **** you're a huge faggot And yeah we're gonna go after him he's a Mac and he's been saying that he's Trump and he's not this is terrible these people are horrible to him pulling a gun on him operating on his balls having him hit his balls in the first place they don't know what the **** they're doing they're trying to say it's BJA. and they're fully aware that they both went over the stupid limb. Mean they both were on the jump and they both got injured and Mark Pitchell is BJ and he said you're so stupid it doesn't even work that way but we don't want to tell you because you're off but my God you're causing so many problems you shouldn't be Max at all we can't stand you dumb ****. And your act is so cheesy it's like fighting into a big huge block of cheese you're ruining us and it's not hard to do and we're in fighting and the foreigners are fighting us we're all gonna die so you're you're dumb what did you have him hitting the balls for what kind of stupid **** is that you got hit in the head because you're an idiot riding your motorcycle they told him about it then you said it was him. Then somebody had him run back in time and make it sound like him it's not him. And now this singer is cancer and she's supposed to be dead it's a Mac I mean this is stupid when you're **** business and get out of his face doesn't have any money in your pouring out on him and he's going to rip you to shreds and I've seen him just tear the **** out of people without trying. You're nuts you don't have anything to do with him a lot of people don't I spend a lot of time there if you don't bother me doesn't do anything you don't bother him like you're a stupid animal you get killed. OK so he was causing that he says how about you on a second round of it. Business we've been told three times. I'm **** **** we can't afford to fight each other we can't afford all this **** happening we can't afford to go through all this stuff and these idiots are gonna hit us the firing missiles at the Midwest and they're warning the hell out of us they're saying it's gonna be awful.

I can't believe the fullest stupid **** you're not up with the Times you're torturing him and teaching him and you wasted your time even being alive that's how you haven't seen us you stupid **** it's this lady you saw in Vegas supposed to be a huge favor holy **** you people are dumb is A is a business person like dad and you wanna make him feel sad and all that shady paint tickets he paid for the tickets and you should reimburse him 'cause he got more money and he knows about it you can't get him a damn thing the foreigners are laughing at us ohh look at me chris I'm dying who **** died maybe I'll get some money out of it well laughing is not funny it's true.

bja

We can't stand them anymore these macs are horrendous and all you people are worse it's gonna begin in a moment . You have this third round or volley and we're not ready coz you're being a someone who understands no you're copying people because you're damn dumb. So they're gonna send a third volley and they are going to get hit and we're going to hit them this valley would be pretty big it's gonna have some special limit and they mentioned it and it's going to be a problem it's gonna be a decent sized hit they say and it's not that many missiles when they get up to the 7th wave tomorrow morning around 8:00 AM it'll be like 2:00 million and that's not that many. And they'll be saying it didn't do anything. But that's not really the plan and the ship is up and it is almost 8:00 o'clock around 8:20 it's sundown so 1120 tonight the sundown in the Yucatan roughly 1020 really so there's a window there of like an hour and a half from 820 to 945 where we think that they will be hitting themselves and it's Trump style and he has got people doing it and it's not the Terminator movie yet but it will be shortly and BG is in a movie after this and it is a terminator movie it does happen right afterwards it is the first movie in the series it's in Mexico which is where these hit no and it's like Bailey's and it's a desert in south about it 1500 miles and he does some songs and leaves and Cesario begins but yeah he is at the border and that movie starts afterwards too and the same with Elysium you're a very ignorant . People what you do is disgusting. We're gonna show you how stupid you are'cause you're saying it to our son and yeah you can't tie your shoes to Santas you're gonna have to just sit there 'cause you're a moron. In meetings we're tired of you mouthing off. If you don't have it you don't have it. It's gonna hit momentarily& anymore stupid things into law with a Sharpey it's gross We've heard enough from you Sarah we know your perspective what he's doing is what he's doing is trying to fight them and what you do is you make this ball of **** **** and you can see what he's doing and it's amazing and it works what you do doesn't too much but he's using it somehow and he has to actually very mad at you idiots you didn't figure anything out we told you about we have to do it ourselves and he told us we're on our own we checked in it's true. The Revolutionary War analogy is proceeding. You are almost defenseless and using missiles as an insult you're insulting yourself and everyone else now you're an insulting prick OK you **** idol of people yelling you and swear you and threatening your position it'll come down on people and I need to heat you up thank you for the permission. And it says that the Santas and we're doing it now and he can't stand it so we have to do it till the rest of you idiots bothering him to hear morons and you need the treatment it's not fair that we're not doing it to you. We see how it works now

Thor Freya

Olympus

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struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor · 4 months

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Hi again (: thanks for answering my ask. I just wanted to respond back about what I thought about the release. Sorry for rambling I didn't have anyone to talk to about this 🙃

On the first listen I didn't hate it, but it also didn't blow me away. Tbh I wasn't even surprised like everyone else because this release is very jungkook imo 😆 I'm glad you brought up 'Stay' because that's exactly what this release reminded me of and that was a song that was meant for his mixtape. It also reminded me of 'please dont change', which are 2 songs that also took time to grow on me. I'm just not a huge edm fan.. Now after streaming, I do enjoy it a lot more and find the lyrics so sweet ♡ but it has joined 'Dreamers' and 'closer to you' as songs I'm meh about 😅 do you have any JK solo songs that you feel meh about?

I also saw you and other anons talking about the producers, but I thought the producer who worked on this is someone in-house. I saw that he produced bts songs and a song on Face, but I could be wrong 🤔 if that is the case, then I also feel similarly with you about preferring the Golden producers. NLG felt a little dated imo and not to get too off topic, but this is one of my fears with the new BTS album. I fear that they already have the album finished and it'll feel very dated once they release it 😕

Overall, I'm a huge fan of Golden and I really hope jungkook keeps working with the producers, writers, and dancers. I just hope that next time, since he'll have more time, maybe he could help with the song writing even if that means translating the korean lyrics fo english since that's the direction he's going in. I was the anon who sent you the ask about 'I wonder', and the reason I brought that up is because even though it was jhopes song I started to notice that jungkook is primarily singing in English even if it's a collab so that makes me think that he might make his whole solo career primarily English. I'm even more convinced now because even his festa song is all English when it was just for fans and not supposed to be a promoted single with a mv, visualizer, or lyric video. So it just seems like we'll be getting mostly English tracks going forward, which I'm not against because I love singing along to golden

Anyway thank you for reading my thoughts lol

Hi! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and reading mine! I also don't have anywhere else to talk share them <3

I don't think people were surprised by the genre or lyrics, but rather the overall delivery. My You is pretty basic - more basic than NLG, even - but prettier. NLG does remind me a bit of Stay, My You, and Please Don't Change, but all of those songs are better produced imo. NLG sounds like a Jungkook song that's somehow been distorted. It lacks that sweet, sentimental JK flavor - yet, the more I listen to it, the more I hear JK in it. Please Don't Change also grew on me. I think watching Jungkook perform it live helped. I like it a lot now (well, as much as I like any Golden bside, which is to say, I can't fully connect with any of the songs; It's weird to explain, it's like their Jungkook's, but not at the same time).

but it has joined 'Dreamers' and 'closer to you' as songs I'm meh about 😅 do you have any JK solo songs that you feel meh about?

That's so funny!! Those are some of my favorites! Closer to You is my 2nd favorite Golden bside (1st is Somebody), and I love Dreamers - both songs had to grown on me though, but that's normal for me lol. Personally, I'm meh about Too Sad to Dance. The lyrics are pretty cringy and the melody is a bit childish, yet the song is very pretty too. (it'd be prettier if it wasn't written for an American country singer rather than a Korean). Shot Glass of Tears is the same. That producer just has cringe lyrics. I love Shot Glass of Tears though - but some of the lyrics pain me... I'm a bit meh about L&R because of CP's voice. I would love the song if it was just JK. Too Much is also a banger, but the lyrics...

Sorry that I'm replying to you like this, but I wanted to address all your points! He worked with a number of people. The KOMCA credits list that circulated on Twitter made it seem like the in-house producer and Jungkook had produced the song, but if you go on Spotify the song's producers are supposedly Bak, Sim Fante, star boy (ie. 2nd producer tag), and Outtatown (ie. 1st producer tag). I think in-house producer and JK did the vocal production and arrangement, but not the overall production? I don't know enough about music to say... The production doesn't feel dated to me, but rather very low quality, in an unfortunately typical BH/Hybe way... I mentioned Closer Than This had the same low quality production, even with entirely different (and equally outsourced) producers...

You really think BTS already recorded their new album? I really don't think so. Joonie made it clear he was in a slump, BTS wise, and it was hard to write even the new tracks in Proof. He didn't know what BTS was supposed to be or represent anymore, so I doubt they recorded a whole album before the hiatus got announced. RM wouldn't just record whatever without participating in the lyrics and deciding the album's message and concept. I also disagree that it'd sound dated. 3 years isn't enough to date a good, well-produced album imo. A lot of artists release songs that are 3 years old that sound good still (like the Pharrell Williams collab, if we ever get it!!!)

I was the anon who sent you the ask about 'I wonder', and the reason I brought that up is because even though it was jhopes song I started to notice that jungkook is primarily singing in English even if it's a collab so that makes me think that he might make his whole solo career primarily English. I'm even more convinced now because even his festa song is all English when it was just for fans and not supposed to be a promoted single with a mv, visualizer, or lyric video. So it just seems like we'll be getting mostly English tracks going forward, which I'm not against because I love singing along to golden

I get what you mean, but Jungkook didn't choose to sing his part in i wonder... in English. I think most of the members see the appeal of English lyrics because they can reach more fans, and the reason they don't sing more in English is because it's too difficult (especially rapping). I don't think they sing in Korean because it's their mother tongue or because they like the language better. I think that's one of the reasons, but another, perhaps smaller reason, is because they don't speak English well. Since JK has sung so much in English, Hobi probably felt comfortable (and grateful) giving him simple English lyrics which are easy to understand by everyone.

Jungkook did an entire album in English, so, whether by choice or because he feels it's expected now, he's still making English songs. I'm not sure it's a conscious choice, or just a matter of convenience. I also wouldn't be surprised if he made his solo career in English, particularly since he's making American pop. Jungkook explained that he wrote My You half in English, half in Korean so i-Army could understand the lyrics, without leaving k-Army out... Imo, I'm used to his English singing and accent, but he sounds way prettier, polished and more matured/skilled in Korean. It depends on the English lyrics though. If they're snappy and match the beat of the song well, he sounds great (STNY, 3D, Seven, etc.), but if they're too wordy, he can sound a bit clumsy... (NLG, My You, Closer to You, etc.)

Anyway, thanks for the ask!

#ask #bts #jungkook #text #thanks for the ask!

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diariio-blogg · 2 years

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Starting 2023

I have been thinking long enough about this decision. I tried even tell apart the stitches he sewed in the fabric of all our conflicts from the ones I contributed with, but I couldn't. It was somehow challenging trying to see what parts of me had caused things to go south, or what parts of how we interacted with each other were the ones accounting for our inability to understand each other.

If I look back I feel grateful for the time we shared. We met in September 2021, he met my family in December of the same year and moved in with me two months afterwards. I think we were just very excited and in love with the idea of finding the "one". He is almost 40, I am almost 30, so it can be logical that one falls in love with the ideal of a relationship that can work. Especially when most of your friends have already found their significant others, or at least they make it look like the have.

All in all, things went too fast. But If I remember correctly also did the discussions and the bickering. We travelled together to Israel in 2022 during Easter holidays. I remember already having fights during this trip. I don't remember precisely the reason. There was a fire in me, a destructive one, that was ignited every time something like this would happen:

he would make a joke at my expense, a not very funny one.

he would interrupt me when I am talking, or use things I confided in him against me

he would confirm that he has no interest in cooking and will never have it, although he can do cleaning. Which I guess was fine for some time.

he would refuse to go out the two of us to a club to dance because it was too weird...

at the end sex was pretty much the same thing, I would say even transactional. Like we both new what our roles were and where goes what, and in what order.

I have to recognize at the end he did show some initiative, but I couldn't shake the feeling off that it was forced. Like when you try to show your mom you finally learned some manners on the table, or try to show your partner that you are doing the thing they have been nagging in the last months.

Was there any other way out besides breaking up? I don't think so. I was resenting the relationship because I felt I lost my freedom, my space, my mental peace. Or maybe as my dad said, I decided to "give it away". Expecting, of course, something in return. But it was not enough.

We could have had a conversation on Thursday about how we are going to continue with some agreements to make the relationship work, like spending time together, and doing plans with friends. But I am convinced that the feeling of betraying myself by staying in a situation that makes me sad, became louder and louder, demanding of me to protect my own happiness, to reclaim my journey to self awareness and love. To stop lying to myself convincing me I am in love with him.

I can't say I was perfect during the relationship, nobody is. But I do realize I should have waited a bit longer for the spark to appear. For the fuel tank to be 100% before we started the long and bumpy journey of a fully committed relationship.

What is the learning from this?

This year is not about the next relationship. This year is about me. My mental health, my self-esteem, my social circle, my family friends, people who love me. My goals, my career. My dreams, my deepest ambitions. My learning, my mistakes, my wins.

There is some work to be done, and I want to start it as soon as possible. It is time. I owe it to myself and to the wonderful person who I am going to meet along the way.

I can wait a bit longer before making big decisions with a person I know just from 4 months. Not because they will turn out to be crazy, but rather because it gives time to let the spark flourish so whenever a strong wind approaches, there would be strong and long branches to hold from.

I want this year to be the one where I dared, where I said yes to the things I wanted to, where I dreamed big and reached even more than I expected.

Thanks for 2023 already.

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cloudsoffire · 2 years

Text

this post contains breaches of various sites’ tos (not this one and not badly). i also don't know what it's about it kinda went off the rails.

i made a deviantart when i was a preteen. i just remember i was 11 at some point while i was active. it was mostly pokémon, but undertale trickled in after a while. i exchanged messages with other people, participates in groups, even made my own that crashed before it got off the ground. eventually all the people i talked to moved on, so i did too (i have another one now but i barely post)

i made a twitter towards the end of when i was 12 because i thought "satan is the reason we do homework" (paraphrased) was funny. i hardly used it because there was nothing on it.

i made a tumblr after a friend at the time told me to make one so i could post my spritework. once i was here i made friends, talked to people, etc. undertale was the first and really only fandom that i got involved with.

come december 17th, i didn't leave like many others, though i did dust off my old twitter to keep up to date since i participated in the first "log-off protest". i kept using both tumblr and twitter after that, but after an amount of time that wasn't short but i don't remember the actual time, i began becoming spotty on this site. i'd somehow breached a trans twitter space and had begun making friends there. i made a lot of friends, but it also severely damaged my mental health. after a while, posting there was painful in and of itself. i had at least 30 followers, but none of them would interact with me. i even quit all social media for a year or so.

when i came back to twitter, i got into an argument with someone and just quit the platform entirely.

i'd been posting to tumblr off and on (bar the break from social media) in an attempt to get back into it, but while i usually have issues focusing on one thing at a time irl, running multiple socials is exhausting. i've never even touched tiktok or instagram, and even youtube (which is like pseudo social media? pseudocial media? at least before community posts anyway) doesn't get a consistent upload schedule.

when i finally came back fully a few months ago, it seemed like people were recovering from a natural disaster. the side is thriving don't get me wrong, but it's like half the users disappeared, and along with them the friends i had made.

i have a very difficult time integrating with communities so that might have a role to play, but while i originally joined and was able to hop right in, i feel almost like i was locked out by logging in less and less. maybe that's just part of growing up, but i don't feel like my seat, as far back in the corner as it was, is here anymore.

people would come to me blog and call me "sass cheld" and offer to adopt me and i'd ask for id, but now i'm an adult, and even though that feels wrong i have to deal with it. i'm not in a position to get a job because i just can't bring myself to do it and why tf am i crying this isn't sad this is normal.

i can't even bring myself to contribute to silly things like goncharov because even though i have ideas whenever i bring up the post thing i just think "nobody will care" and i know that's unhealthy but that's just the way my mind works. even venting feels wrong, even though i know nobody will see it so it doesn't matter.

the worst part is i know i don't deserve to pity myself because of how much harm i've done to those around me. because of the trauma that came as a result of me. because i don't feel empathy, at least to the degree of everyone else. because all my problems are of my own making. because my life is good, and i'm what's bad about it. because it anyone else took my place they'd be doing just fine. because my issues aren't even as bad as my siblings'. because i live in the suburbs. because my parents can afford ac. because i live in california, what's probably the most progressive state in the us.

how did this post turn into this

i am not proofreading this.

#long post #fire's vent tag

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mnoa · 2 years

Text

mistake (zhongli n reader) pt 2!

HEJIKOPL THE OTHER ONE GOT SO MUCH ATTENTION I FEEL SO PRESSURED TO GET THIS ONE DONE AND MAKE IT GOOD 😭😭 PLS SAVE ME

-------------

"Get the fuck out." "W-What?" "Get out!" You screamed, pointing to the door of your shared home. Small drops of blood splattering every where. For the first time in your "relationship", he had been asked to get out and leave. "What about us? Are we still-" Zhongli spoke up. "After everything you did to me, you expect me to still want you back? Hah, funny." You scoffed at his pathetic question. "God, do I just want to rip your face off and show everyone you're nothing but a bitch. A bitch wanting his lovely little ex back, only running into somebody else's arms just to let time pass." You took another glass piece and broke it. "Stop breaking things!" He was mad. "Oh? Now you're mad?" You didn't want to turn this into a full fight, but it was hard to not. "Zhongli, I gave you chances. I gave you hope for us. And this is how you treat me?" "I loved you." Zhongli was, of course, trying to calm you down and talk his way through your forgiveness. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry-" "You always say sorry but you never mean it. You always use your words to talk your way into my arms. Into my embrace. Into my forgiveness. Cause you're the biggest, most fucked up asshole there is." You felt angry yet sad. "I tried, Zhongli. I really fucking tried." The look he gave you looked like he finally had some sympathy. He finally understood what you had meant by "I tried". In reality, he did somehow try too. He tried to love you, to care for you, and to cherish you. But he just couldn't do it. "Goodbye. I can't do this anymore." You took your coat and bag, walking towards the door. "Wait-" He tried to stop you. "There's nothing worth stopping for anymore, Zhongli. It's over. It's all gone." were the last things you said before leaving and shutting the door in his face. He cried, heart full of sorrow and despair. He finally realized what he had done. He had lost you for good. There was no chance that you would run back into his arms like he ran into yours in the beginning. All the love and time you spent together down the drain. "What do I do now?" ------------------------------ timeskip a year later ! You were finally living a free life. You didn't regret breaking up with him and losing your long "loving" relationship. You loved traveling and reading books. But your most loved thing to do was write about what you had learned. You posted a blog on the internet, which went viral and now various people follow you.

"Zhongli? Hah, funny you mention him again. I don't regret breaking up with him, but I would love to thank him for some reason. He helped me grow and learn. Even if the expense of learning those lessons were, well, expensive." He, meanwhile, was still living in your shared home. In the first 3 months of your break up, he was depressed. He was also learning himself. What he had done, what you had said and done. He was still hurt. He could let go of everything you had. Your bedsheets that smelled like you, your pillowcases, your collection of books. But one thing he couldn't let go was the photo of you and him, standing on the beach with your cat and dog. He knew deep inside that he was genuinely happy at that moment. He knew he couldn't get you back, but thinking and missing you was enough for him.

You both had different endings. You ended up fully healed and happy with your new life. He, on the other hand, was still learning and healing. But no matter how much you love a person, don't forget to leave some for yourself. For loving somebody too much can hurt both of you.

----------------------------------

BIITCHES THIS IS IT. I CANT BELIEVE TE OTHER ONE GOT SO MUCH ATTENTION LIKE 🤨🤨 but this is the final part. I absolutely love this so much, and I hope you do too. Love is hard to understand, but with the right person at the right time, you will be able to love :)!

#genshin angst #genshin impact #genshin #zhongli #zhongli x y/n #zhongli x reader #y/n #reader #story #writer #mona megistus #kiseatories

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cookinguptales · 2 years

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The thing is that I thought it was a either a Simon plot or the hat was going to blow the house up somehow but even then!! I didn't even begin to think he'd build a whole tv show with multiple seasons just for this?? Truly this is the only show that gets vampires. Of course he spent years on this plan. What are a couple years to a guy that's been alive centurues and trying to get a witch skin & hole hat for decades?

And then the hat did blow up a house I was so happy lmao

(Lazslo wasn't even that mad this time also. Like "you made beloved show?? For Lazslo??? Ok I'll just throw shoes at you but you can get away with the hat")

You know, it's funny... I feel like Laszlo wasn't mad this time -- he was sad, which is potentially worse. I don't think Simon even considered that he might actually be taking something that Laszlo loved when he did all this bullshit. Or that Laszlo might have actually felt a weird kinship for something that only sort of existed... Like I'm literally writing meta in my head about this already, to be posted as soon as I finish answering this, haha.

Long story short, though, I think the reason Laszlo didn't really go after the hat was that it felt tainted now. He didn't even want to go after him anymore. He was too sad!!!

I do think it's fucking hilarious, though, that Simon kept doing the show even after he got the hat. Clearly this whole endeavor awakened something in both Simon and Laszlo. I love vampires taking up weird hobbies because they just have all the time in the world. I love that Laszlo does topiaries and Nadja's doll wants Nadja to take up learning instruments. I love vampires being weird and ageless and utterly incomprehensible to mortal minds.

Sometimes I feel like that's the real line between the vampires and the Djinn and the witches and Guillermo. It's not that he doesn't have supernatural abilities of some kind -- especially because as the show progresses, he kind of does. It's that they have this sense of age about them that he just doesn't. He's only like 31-32 at this point. The others understand death and age and both the freedom and weight of immortality. It's just something he physically cannot wrap his head around yet, and it's why he can't always follow their fucked-up thought processes.

He doesn't understand the true joy of novelty yet because he doesn't know what it's like to get bored after literally hundreds of years. He doesn't understand how minuscule human lives feel when you consume them and watch them blink out in what feels like minutes. He doesn't know what it feels like to feel something like sadness or loneliness and see it stretching out before you like oblivion.

He just doesn't get it... yet. And I'm not sure he'll ever fully understand the vampires until he does. And I'm not sure they ever want him to understand either of those things. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#wwdits tag #replies #wwdits s4 spoilers

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zozophoenixxx · 3 years

Text

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge ✨

SEASON 5

Meatlug and Toothless messing around in ep1 when Hiccup and Fishlegs are trying to figure out how to stabilize the island 🥺

I remember when I first watched this I was actually in bio and hearing Ruff and Tuff talk about symbiosis was like " WOW IM LEARNING THAT" 😂😂😂

Symbiotic relationship - symbiosis is the interaction between organisms living in close physical association to the advantage of both

It can lead to -> parasitism - a non-mutual symbiotic relationship between species where the parasite benefits at the expense of the host

- Hookfang and Snotlout have a parasitic relationship JAHDHAHSHA

wait I like that instead of calling a relationship toxic now imma be like "this shii is parasitic peace out ✌🏼️"

HICCSTRID FOREHEAD KISSES OMG😭

I like how Barf and Belch are incredibly strong, I feel like it's a fact that's usually ignored about them

Astrid: *talking about Garf* that dragon has a lot of fight in him

Hiccup: *while placing his hand on her shoulder* he's not the only one

I can't ok I love them too much 🥺

WAIT I JUST NOTICED THE FORESHADOWING WHEN THE TWINS WERE REFERRING TO JOHAN AS A PARASITE OMG 😳

THE BETROTHAL NECKLACE 😭😭😭

Fishlegs licking Astrid's hand is hilariousss nonono it's just that scene in general when Fishlegs is trying to help Astrid find the betrothal gift for Hiccup and she judo-flips him and then sits on him like 🤔

Sandbuster - doesn't like the light. Lives underground.

Astrid riding Toothless to save Hiccup. Just badass.

Hiccup giving Astrid the betrothal necklace and telling her that it's ok that she didn't get him anything bc she's the best gift in the world 🥺

And their hug and the way he moved her out of harm's way whenever Snotlout threw the sword

Still sad abt Shattermaster being replaced by the Triple Stryke

I really liked ep3 whenever they were in Berserker island bc we got to see them actually fighting in battle without their dragons it was pretty cool

The beginning of ep4 is also hilarious I can't with Astrid and Snotlout fighting and then also Astrid beating him up JAHDHAHSHA

- I also always wanted to know what Snotlout said to her 😭😭😭 all of them were just extremely concerned and shocked and Snotlout even had to leave the Edge UGH AHZHZHAG

Atali and the Wingmaidens 👏🏼🤩

"Males would neither understand, nor would they be helpful." Atali is a queen

Vanaheim - the last resting place of all dragons

"Sadness is a matter of perspective. It is how you choose to view something that makes it happy, scary, intriguing, or sad"

Ok so is Stormfly a tracker-class dragon or a sharp-class dragon?

Sentinels - Know all the dragons so they know how to deal with each of their tactics. Run Vanaheim. Have never encountered night furies. Good trackers. Blind. They tend to the island

OMG I FORGOT THAT VANAHEIM IS THE SKELETON OF THE KING OF DRAGONS

HAND HOLDING AND KISSES UFFF THANK U

Hiccstrid kiss count: 3😘

It's the way it's so realistic too, the way he smiles at her, the way he holds her hand and looks at her, the way she puts her hand on his chest and he lightly touches it with his free hand I just can't they're too perfect

Snotlout's excitement to see that Fishlegs was Fishlegs again and not Thor Bonecrusher- I mean the dude went running towards him🥺

I love how Hiccup just knows when Astrid's thinking about something

SPARRING HICCSTRID UGHHH I LOVE THIS SCENE

The way he's just in such a good mood afterwards 🥺

The scene leading up to the moonlight flight in ep7. I love them so much.

Hiccstrid Scene: ep7 min 5:42 -> 7:24

Meatlug's shot was the first to free a Singetail from a dragon flyer

Just realized that Johan not being able to get Hiccup's oil was probably also part of a plan to get them away from the edge to attack

Ok but Snotlout actually taking the initiative to be the leader while Hiccup and Astrid were away

The edge 🥺and when he destroyed his own Hut 🥺 I can't 🥺

I love how Mala and Throk were both trying to put the gang in a better mood

Silicates makes Meatlug drool

Tuffnut's Spanish is amazing we love to see a bilingual king✋🏼👑

Just realized that Krogan's name is well... Krogan. I never actually paid attention to the dude.

OMG WE GET TO SEE DRAGO IN THIS SEASON THIS IS CRAZY

I really like the twins in the Wings of War Episodes, the way they attempt to speak Spanish and start pronouncing the Rrrrrrrrs

Spitelout too lmao the way he helped Hiccup 🤩

It was also Spitelout the one that figured out that the Singetails don't like the altitude

I really love how Hiccup actually found a way to fight the flyers without hurting the Singetails, OMG IT REMINDS ME OF AANG when everyone was telling him to just kill the FIRELORD he found the right way

Tuff has a feet fettish

Stormfly and Garff messing around is too funny I love them sm 😭

Snotlout can be so sad sometimes

The twins singing >>

And that hug between Stormfly and Garff, they're just adorable 🥺🤧

HAHDHSHAHA THE WAY ASTRID LOOKED AT FISHLEGS WHENEVER THE SLITHERWINGS SHOWED

Slitherwings - very poisonous dragons! Even their skin is coated in poison. Like snake appearance. Not much is known about its poison and how it works but there is an antidote -> combination of angel fern root, pine sap and Slitherwing venom. The skin coating protects them from Garff's amber

Stormfly is such a badass omg I love her sm the way she protected Garff

Garff is an excellent shot according to Fishlegs

Fishlegs telling Astrid to look at him is just adorable, the way he wanted her to feel better 😭

Have I mentioned how much I love lil Hiccstrid moments? They dont even have to be romantic but just them? Like he just lightly touched her shoulder and told her to be strong and be there for Stormfly 🥺

Snotlout actually being worried about Astrid 🤧

I will never get over Astrid and Stormfly's relationship and how close they are, they would do anything for each other and Astrid just proved that by going up to the Slitherwing and PUNCHING THE LIL SHIT just to get Stormfly the antidote. AND WHEN SHE STARTED CRYING!!! As Tuffnut said "no one has ever prepared us for something like this"

And the Ruffnut being there for her and protecting her 😭😭😭

Astrid can actually draw

Still pissed about the fact that Hiccup never knew Astrid got poisoned NOW I NEED TO READ A FANFIC ON IT

That scene in Snuffnut [ep11] where Throk arrives to take Ruffnut as his wife is too funny. The way Astrid is pissed since the beginning and both Hiccup and Fishlegs are like "umm nope" AND WHEN HICCUP TAKES ASTRID OUT OF THE SCENE AND ALL YOU CAN HEAR IS HIM SCREAMING AND THESE RANDOM NOISES 😩😩😩😂

It really bothered me that Astrid had to stay behind in Looking for Oswald... And Chicken [ep12] just to take care of the twins when we could've had some Hiccstrid 😩😭 but it makes sense because Astrid is the only one Hiccup can actually trust on to keep things under control because even though Fishlegs is kinda sane neither the twins nor Snotlout would listen to him and Snotlout would definitely join the twins or just make things worse somehow. I mean they've both proven themselves to be fully capable but well- yk... Astrid is just Astrid

Astrid and Stormfly's faces whenever the twins said they needes a dragon that loves tracking and chicken😭😂😩

Chicken covering her tracks and Snotlout as narrator 😂

Omg Dagur saw Oswald's dead body... He even had to bury him and wow-

Grim Gnashers - hunters that prey on the sick dragons in Vanaheim.

Chicklet🐥🐥🐥🐥

SNOTLOUT'S TAN LINE OMGGG

"Please let me hurt him. Please? Just-- just a little?"JAHSHAHAJAJ I LOVE AGGRESSIVE DAGUR

Fishlegs saying that "Snotlout can actually be pretty handy in an air battle" is so true. Like we mostly see Snotlout as this dumb, sarcastic, rebellious dude who doesn't care about anyone but himself and but that's actually not true he's actually caring and will fight for the ones he loves but he won't say that because he cares too much about what others think of him 😭

I really dislike Johan sm u guys don't understand like I used to like him and feel bad whenever ppl cut him short but ughhhhhhh it's the subtle things too like him telling Heather to give them the dragon eye, him screaming in Snotlout's ear, not extending his hand to grab Heather, and him putting his hand out to "grab" the lens but just causing Snotlout to drop it

The way Heather jumped to get Windshear and the way Windshear kept telling her to leave and save herself

Archipelago gold = The clouds of corn = pop corn

I can't believe I'm about to start season 6 this is actually so sad

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guigz1-coldwar · 3 years

Text

"A place in your heart" : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"A place in your heart"

Chapter Summary : Bell return to the safehouse with Park and take a nap, reliving an memory......

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3500

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'Come on, let's go back to the safehouse' was the first thing Park said after she recomforted me. I don't know how Park is able to have this effect on me but she is really someone competent in it. By an simple move, she is able to make myself calm down and to not stress anymore about my bad thoughts even if it's temporary. I can only thanks her with my love and by her presence with me, I know that she can't let me down because she promised me to be at my side and I promised her to stay with her, she was the main reason that I came back.....the only reason that is keeping me alive.

After our little recon mission and that 'incident', we decided that it was better to get back to the safehouse as we weren't going to stay more longer to listen to Duvall and his politics bullshit and anyway, when I came back to the car, his little speech was already done, meaning the end of our mission and our 'liberation' from that guy. On the way back, I didn't even look outside the car to see the surroundings, more focused on having my head in my hands, trying to clean up my thoughts away.

We arrived at the safehouse and we could see that Wolf & Sims weren't there meaning that they were still on their mission, keeping an eye open on the places that Derazio was 'protecting'. We entered the house and the first thing I did was to get myself on the couch, lying down on it and looking at the ceilling without saying an thing. My body was like looking tired after having worked on decrypting some transmissions during 3 hours and listening to Duvall. I think I could take a little nap.....

I was in an apartment and by looking at it, it was mine, looking very casual and not very fancy with some pictures of me, sometimes in a sort of military uniform or sometimes, me in my younger days....with Perseus at my side. It was apparently located also in the outskirts of Moscow as I could see the city from my window. I was very thinkful as I looked through it, seeing the snow, falling outside in the night.

Sit on my chair, I start to take a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and have a cigarette out of it before I light it up, putting it on my lips. I was sort of dreaming away, wearing my usual uniform with the top shirt button removed and my hair in a bit of a mess. When I was finally comfy in that very chair, I could start to hear some knocks at my apartment door, causing me to get up my chair, a little bit annoyed as I was hoping for some peace. I breathed a little before I opened the door.

"Zed !" I first said, surprised to see them here, wearing big clothes to protect them from the snow.

"Hi, Yirina." They waved at me, enthusiastic to see me.

"I'm surprised to see you here, I thought that you were back home to take care of Dedov." I exclaimed to them, looking behind them, seeing nobody.

"Yeah, I did that but when he was going to sleep, I told him that I needed to come see you and he agreed, saying that he has Beans with him." He scoffed at the end, making me a little laugh.

"Beans is always here to recomfort you both." I added after my laugh, happy to say that. They nodded in approval,

"Good thing that I accepted to have her, Beans is our moral support." They continued before I took a last look behind them.

"Oh, you can enter, you're not going to stay outside all the time." I snorted, pulling myself aside from the door, gesturing to Zasha to enter my apartment and they complied to it.

"Freya is not here ?" They asked, fully in the apartment as I was closing the door, I stopped myself by hearing her name.

"No." I replied in a low voice. "Because of two reasons." I then pointed to them the couch, gesturing them to sit on it before I decided to go in the kitchen. "Want coffee ?" I asked before getting into the kitchen part.

"You know me well !" They answered and that would mean yes. The kitchen was just at the couch sight allowing me to discuss with Zasha.

"First reason is that we don't want to attract Perseus attention on us, you know his opinion on the subject." I started, preparing their cup of coffee for them, I didn't decide to make one for me as I didn't want to drink.

"Oh yeah, a stubborn man like you said !" They affirmed, making me look at them with a grin as their coffee was ready. "And what's the second reason ?" They questioned as I arrived in the living room with their coffee.

"Might hard to tell." I said, giving them their cup and thanking me before walking to get sit on my own chair. "I have doubts about my relationship with Freya." Hearing me almost caused them to choke themselves with the sip they just taken from their coffee and then, give me a confused look.

"You're serious ?" I nodded to their question.

"Since a week ago, there's been someone called Sonya that arrived in the Perseus Collective and they're a mysterious person....and somehow, Freya is been too friendly with them." I added to my nodding and they were still confused with me. "Two days ago, I saw Sonya literally kissing Freya in Perseus base in the Ural Mountains and I watched them from a safe place."

"Wait, are you saying to me that Freya is cheating on you ? Do you think that Freya is not happy about that ?" They asked and I rolled my eyes from that question.

"You're joking...." I started to scoff "Freya was taking a lot of pleasure.....enough to undress herself as Sonya was watching them doing that, I was so angry that I left the base to return here." I wasn't joking anymore but I couldn't get myself angry about it. Zasha was literally troubled by that, maybe they thought that they arrived in the bad times.

"I never think of that from Freya, did you feel yourself like.....manipulated ?" They were feeling worried about me, I slowly nodded, biting my lips at the same time.

"Even if I'm so enraged about this, I can't let myself show my anger to her." I told them, trying to look away to a picture where I was with Freya at my side. "I think I might need to take my distance with her, like a big break.....maybe break up with her."

"It's been almost 3 years that you're together." They whispered before slowly taking a sip.

"There's thoughts telling me that...I shouldn't have never engaged myself into that kind of relationship with her, you know." I exclaimed, putting my arm on the chair armrest and they nodded, understanding my thoughts.

"As you said, Freya & you were more like sisters." They affirmed to me.

"Yeah, we should have keep it that way." I added to their statement, breathing about thinking about it. "It may take time for me to tell her that but I will do it anyway." I looked at the ceilling in desesperation, trying to clear my mind. "Do you want to know the first time I kissed a girl...my first kiss ?" I asked.

"Why not ? It can change from talking about Freya." They joked, very curious to hear my story, getting themselves comfy in the couch.

"At 17 years old, there were a new girl that came into our military class. She was named Julie, she was french and we became great friends." I started, all serious in my story. "One day while I was in the girls toilet of our academy, she came in, saying she needed help with....kissing as her date was waiting for her."

"I guess at that time, you weren't an expert on kissing ?" They joked not badly and I laughed a little about it.

"Let's just say that I posed as someone who know it well !" I exclaimed with wide eyes, trying to justify myself. "Anyway, I gave her advices from people who already told me until she asked for a demonstration and then, we kissed."

"Wow, that was your first kiss : learning to someone as you don't know it too." They looked at me with an funny face,

"Wait because it's not done...." I started, raising my index finger. "When we were finished, she was leaving but then, she came back and kissed me again : I was HER date !" I added, making them stunned from that. "We finished making up in the toilet during an hour. It's since that day I realized that I was loving only woman."

"Damn, I'm really surprised to hear that story you never told me." They said, pretty amazed, having just finished their coffee. "I guess that this Julie stayed in your memories." I nodded,

"We stayed together until she had to leave the USSR. After that, we never had contact with each other again but I still have her in my heart as my first kiss." I finally finished my story, making me take a deep breath. "Since Julie, it was only minor relationships I had as it was something uncommon to do....until Freya came in." I bit a part of my lips, saying again her name, trying to not be sad and angry.

"If you think you have to break up with her to be better, do it !" They suggested as a friendly advice and I take it well. "By the way, I didn't tell why I came here." They added, putting their cup on the table before trying to search for something in their jacket.

"That's right, you didn't tell." I admitted as I talked about my problems instead of the essentials.

"Don't worry, it's nothing bad but see it as a great news." They affirmed before they finally grab the thing they were looking for : a ring with a diamond incrusted in it. Seeing it and I was jaw-dropped.

"No...." I said, smiling, having guessed their intentions as they were showing the ring perfectly to me

"I'm gonna ask Portnova to marry me, she's going to move in with me & Dedov next week." They exclaimed, enthusiastic as hell, happy about their own news. I started to move to get a closer look at the ring. "I will ask for her hand at Christmas."

"My god, Zed !" I was like speechless as I decided to sit myself on the couch with them. "It's incredible !" I then moved to give them a friendly hug as a sign of my gratitude.

"The only thing that is blocking me is my status : you know that the laws is avoiding me to do this official." They were looking sad for a second before I decided to reassure them.

"Don't worry, I will make sure that your marriage with Portnova is gonna be an exception from the laws." I told them, making them grin of happiness. "So, now it's gonna be Zasha Smirnov and Yirina Smirnov or the contrary : Zasha Portnova & Yirina Portnova or maybe joint names ?"

"I don't know, I'm waiting after Christmas for that to talk about it." They sniffed, still happy about that move.

"Yes, you're right !" I smiled about it, laughing a little. "You deserve all this happiness, Zasha. It's more important for you than our work for Perseus."

"About work, when do we go back to work ?" They asked like that, making me roll my eyes.

"Zasha, I just learned that you're going to get married and you're talking about work." I breathed before deciding to tell them. "We're going back to work in two days : someone from the CIA is apparently willing to give to us some files to decrypt, must be nothing big but, it's our work."

"Yes....it's our work !" They repeated my words in a low voice.

"Anyways." I tapped gently my legs before I got up from the couch "For the moment, let's forget our personal problems to celebrate your news." I then grab their cup of coffee in my hands and started walking back to the kitchen.

"We might need more coffee for that !"

I was happy to see that memory : relieved to hear some good news but also troubled to learn about Freya apparently cheating on me. But that part of that dream and its bad thoughts were quickly replaced by the good news that Zasha brought me. Inside of me, I was just feeling so good to hear this, Zasha is a good person, they deserve all the happiness in the world to be with Portnova and their brother. They need that and I need to know where they are.

I finally wake up slowly, still on that couch, arms crossed and I could feel some details : I wasn't wearing my jacket anymore and my legs were posed on something. When I opened my eyes, I could see Park, having my legs on her lep as she was also sit on that couch as an support for them. She was smiling at me and I returned the favor as I slowly open my eyes.

"Hey, Park." I said in a low voice, seeing her entirely.

"You have a pretty good nap, love..." She breathed, sounding lovely, her left hand posed on my legs moving it alongside them.

"If you were there, it's always good." I affirmed before I was wondering about something. "How much time I was sleeping ?" I asked and then she showed me 3 raised finger from her right hand. "Three ?"

"Yes, you got lucky that Sims & Wolf didn't came back from their mission." She make a silent laugh about it. "They will come back soon as they radio'ed us...well more me than you since you fall out in that couch very quickly." She continued, giving me a good look.

"I just wanted some rest from.....well, you know...." I affirmed, truly. I wasn't thinking of it anymore after spending 3 HOURS on that couch. "We don't need to talk about this."

"It's okay like I said." She told me, giving me lovely tap on my legs with her left hand before she look back at me "I hear you talking for a few minutes in your sleep, you had a memory back ?"

"Yeah, first part a little bit sad but more happy after." I replied, not sure if she already know because I talked in my sleep.

"I just heard the part where you talked about....Freya cheating on you with that Sonya." She exclaimed, having her eyes on the picture of them, still on the dashboard.

"I was considering to break up with her but I don't know if I did it as it was looking to be more on December 1980....a few days before me & Zasha discover 'Greenlight'." I wasn't smiling at the last part as in that memory, we were still unconscious of that. "I think we better talk about something else than Freya, if you want."

"Okay." She whispered, approving my choice. "Maybe we can talk about that Zasha ?" They asked, curious.

"Well, I worked with Zasha since 1975 at the KGB, we were working as a team to decrypt and encrypt files for Perseus and I saw them like an family member." I responded, giving her the important details at first. "I helped them by giving them money for them and their brother in need, they survived thanks to me but I can't tell what happened to them after December 1980." I added, sounding a little bit worried at the end.

"It's relieving to hear that : it's showing me that you are truly a kind person, Yirina." She affirmed, recomforting me in the inside and the outside. "I don't know Zasha but I can say that I'm willing to meet them if we can."

"I'm pretty sure you are going to like them." I said, sure of my words as Zasha was the most brave person I have been friends in my old life. "In that memory, they revealed to me that they were going to marry their lover."

"Wow, that's very good news !" She told, enthusiastic too about hearing this news.

"I was willing at 100% to help them secure their marriage with her." I smiled about it. "She was named Yirina Portnova."

"Oh...." The tone of her voice was sounding surprised by it and she stopped herself doing her moves with her left hand

"You know her ?" I asked, curious

"No, it's just that I never thought that their lover's name was also Yirina." She replied, sure of her answer and my suspicions goes away like that, she was just stunned to hear that name.

"They were so happy about it and I was too...." I started, taking a deep breath. "They deserved all the happiness that they needed to have." I then decided to redress myself on the couch, getting sit next to Park, close to her. "Do you think I deserve it too ?" I asked, she nodded.

"We deserve it." She simply said before her lips met mine, making me move my hand on her face gently before we broke the kiss, our foreheads against each other.

"I love you 3000 !" I said, relieved to be able to kiss her again in the lips as I put my arms on her shoulders.

"I love you too....3000 too !" She breathed, serious and smiling at me as we slowly start to move to kiss again....until.....

"Uhm, uhm !" Someone coughed by purpose in the room and in a second, we quickly moved away from each other, discovering Sims, leaned against the door frame of the living room, looking at us with an face that could say 'got you both !'

"Sims, that's not...." Park started to said before she lost her own words, redressing her own clothes back to normal as me....I was faking a embarassed look, knowing that Sims know.

"It's okay, it's been 3 years that I know !" He exclaimed, removing himself from the door to get next to the couch, without sitting on it "Don't worry, I will tell anything." He added, giving me a approving look.

"You better be !" Park ordered in a normal voice and I could feel her angriness deep in her voice before she decide to look at the door "Wolf isn't here ?" She asked, changing the subject

"He's just outside, taking a quick call." Sims replied before looking at the dashboard "So, how was Duvall's speech ?"

"Very boring and very shitty." I responded, rolling my eyes to talk about it and honestly, I don't know if it was the thing Sims was waiting. "We can remove that person from our priority target list." I pointed at Sonya's picture "They're named Sonya but they have left the country after having enough of protecting Duvall's ass around in public !" I added, giving him the intel about them, joking at the end.

"They were the Perseus agent in charge of protecting Duvall." Park gave him more about their identity.

"Guess we have no choice but to stay here to get Duvall." Sims put his hand on his wraist before looking back at us "For us, we have finished to spot the places Derazio is 'protecting"....."

"And we finally know where that guy is living !" Another voice arrived in the room, revealing Wolf that just cut Sims, with an satellite phone in his hand. "Derazio is living at the penthouse of the Royal Hotel, a building right in the middle of the New Orleans skyline !" He added as he walked to get to the dashboard to put an picture of the building on it. "Of course, since Derazio is a freaking paranoid person, he never left that penthouse and when he does, it's only for extreme case."

"Well, that's mean that we had no choice but to get rid of Derazio into his own penthouse ?" I suggested, getting up to get a closer look at the phto as Wolf & Sims nodded at the same. "It will be risky but let's get along with it since Derazio is paranoid."

"Also, it will take time to have a perfect plan against him." Park added, also getting up to look at Sims. "Anyway, I'm in too....well, we all in !" She continued, getting sure that it was our only plan that we have on Derazio : strike him right into his heart ! I was thinking, looking at the picture of the bulding, about things.....

"Guess Derazio will have to die hard !

#black ops cold war #bocw #call of duty cold war #cod cw #cod black ops cold war #cod cold war #fanfic #fem!bell #helen park

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delightfulstarlightparadise · 4 years

Text

Stardew valley Imagine. Reader/ Sebastian (?)

-Before we start, oce again I remind you that English is not my main language, but I am doing my best.

“I didn’t think you were so tired to the point of passing out in that sofa.” Sebastian says while taking a drag of his cigarette. “If I knew we would have come earlier.”

“Aw... I shouldn’t have drink that beer.” you say, feeling sick to your stomach.

“If you are going to throw up, please do it in some bush and not near me.”

You didn’t even bother answering him. Next thing you knew, you were kneeling down barfing behind a tree. You were not very used to drinking.

“Sorry.” you say when you can finally talk.

“What about?”

“Everything.”

He shrugs and helps you stand up.

“You are... different.” he says.

“I know, I am weird.”

He laughs.

“You think you are weird? My best friend is the weirdest person I know. Being different in a town like this is not a bad thing you know?” he says.

You stare at him for a while too long, he blushes showing is uncomfort.

“You didn’t pass as a supportive type at first.” you say.

“Don’t get used to it.” he says smirking at you.

When you arrive the farm you can see that the seeds you planted in the morning had turned into little saplings already. You shake your head, sure that it is a prank of your dizzy mind, but they are there.

“Sebastian, can you see those or am I really wasted?” you ask him, pointing at the saplings.

“I can see them, but I am also pretty sure you ARE wasted.” He mocks you.

“How can it be?! I planted them this morning!” you look at him completely astonished.

“So what?” he asks.

“They were not supposed to grow like this… I mean, this is crazy!”

“Oh really? I don’t understand much about farming.” he says while getting another cigarette from his pocket. “I will be going now, ok? Thanks for the game, I had fun. Destroying Sam every time was starting to get boring.

As he goes, you sit down on your porch staring at those little saplings.

…

You have a dream.

You are playing with your cousins by the mountain river. A younger Sam and a younger Sebastian are there too. Sebastian is ginger back then, but Sam’s hair still challenges gravity somehow. There is a third boy that is not from your family, he is brunette, very alethic and seems to like you a lot.

Sebastian challenges you all: who can go up a tree by the shore faster. You are the first to run there, before anyone even agrees to the bet. He doesn’t like it and runs as fast as he can, followed by the other boy and your cousins. Sam kind of gets left behind.

You start climbing the tree so fast, you didn’t even remember being so agile, you feel like a feral squirl. The other boy is right behind you, he even tries to hold your foot and tickle you, but you don’t give up. As you laugh together, Sebastian gets to pass you, but you quickly follow after him.

Somehow you manage to get to the top first, Sebastian is all sweaty and puffing. The other boy comes after and congratulates you on the win. He kisses you on the cheek and you get all red about it. Sebastian doesn’t like it, actually he seems really jealous. You think it is about you having won and start mocking on him.

You call him gingerbread man. He hates it and pushes you. Because of your weigh the branch you fall on cracks and you fall on the river. You can see both Sebastian and the other boy reaching towards you.

Your head hits a rock and you get unconscious. But actually, you just can't move, you still can see... everyone is jumping on the water after you, but you feel like you are nowhere to be found. Maybe that is it, your short life has come to an end.

You hear a funny sound and turn your head to the left. You see an apple.

The apple has two eyes and pink cheeks.

There are others, they are all around you, making that funny sound and lifting you up from the bottom of the lake.

Next thing you see, a hand grabs your wrist, lifted by the little apple spirits. You are pulled out of the water by Sebastian, he has almost drowned too. He is crying and doesn’t stop apologizing, but you aren’t able to say anything to him, the words don’t come out.

You spend some days in the hospital, all your vitals are ok, but you keep seeing those little apple spirits around. The adults are afraid you had too bad of a concussion and no one believes in you... except for... grandpa?

He says you were saved by the forest spirits, but your mother and father tell him not to incentive these kind of thoughts in you. Eventually, they stop taking you to Stardew valley.

The longer you are away, the more you forget about your time there.

When you wake up, the dream seems like a shadow, but you feel very different.

…

They were even bigger! From one night to the other, the saplings have grown as much as they should in a week.

“Am I going insane?” you ask yourself.

You water them and put some extra fertilizer, then you decide to go to the city and buy some food for the farm. When you arrive there, you see Mayor Lewis in front of a big old house behind the square.

“Oh, hi y/n!” he calls you, as you two seem to be the only people around. “Come here a second.”

You feel a little annoyed. Is it going to be like this now? Every day that amount of interaction in your life... how can you handle it?

“Good afternoon, Mr. Lewis.” you say.

“Call me Lewis.” he says with a gentle smile. “Do you remember this place?”

You take a look at it. Everything is so broken and old you can swear it is probably haunted. You can’t seem to remember anything like it.

“I see.” he says. “You were so young, but you, your cousins and your grandpa used to come here. This is the community center of Pelican town. Well... it used to be. Come on in.”

You follow him inside and it looks even worse than the outside. Bindweed has taken over the walls, there isn’t a single piece of wood that is not broken or rotten and there is even a tree fully grown in the corner of the main hall, but even that tree seems to be decaying.

“This used to be the heart of the town, everyone in the community gathered here for parties, birthdays and even city events.” he says. “But as time went by... it seems like these kinds of things are not as important nowadays.”

He starts a discourse about how people would rather watch TV instead of gathering with the community, but you can’t follow because... there is an apple jumping by the window.

“Y/n, what’s with you?” the mayor asks turning to the place you are looking.

It immediately disappears.

“It was...” you are about to tell him about the apple but, why bother? “I think I saw a mouse.”

“This place is probably infested by mice, it has been closed for so long.” He says and sighs. “It is sad to see it like this. But I think that is what happens to old things, see Paradise farm, for example. Good that now you are there to rebuild it. Too bad for this place, there aren’t people willing to do it.”

“Did you ask people?” you ask out of curiosity.

“Unfortunately, every time we set to rebuild everyone was busy with something else. Eventually, I think everyone just gave up.” the mayor let go a long sigh. “And since Joja Mart came to town, they keep making offers to buy it and turn it into a warehouse. I am thinking about selling it by the end of this year... the city could use the money.”

You look around once more. It does seem sad to let ANYTHING that once was good end up in Joja corporation’s hands. Wasn’t this what happened to you.

You feel a strange connection to the place.

“Anyway, I must be going now. Have some mayor duties to accomplish. Thanks for giving an old man some time to be nostalgic.” he says and chuckles. “I will leave this place open if you want to take a look, maybe you can find some of you Paradise kid’s old toys in the crafts room.”

It is weird because you wouldn’t usually do something like that, but as the mayor went away, you started exploring the rooms and they seemed to bring you back some blurry memories. Maybe you played with your cousins in that corner. Maybe you attended someone’s birthday and ate cake by that old table. Maybe you sat with your grandpa in front of that big fish tank and he told you stories about fishing.

You hear a sound and it immediately makes you turn to the decaying tree in the corner of the main hall. Your heartbeat increases as you see not one, but many apple spirits jumping around and waving at you. They seem to be talking but you can’t quite understand.

“What the hell is going on with me?” you say, rubbing your eyes and shaking your head.

They are still there.

One of them, a green one makes you a sign for you to follow it Still uncertain, you do, and it takes you to a golden scroll in the middle of the crafts room. You see there is something written there, but you can’t quite understand it.

“Junimos?” is the only thing you can discern.

The little apple starts jumping and making that funny sound as if it is agreeing to you.

“You are Junimos?”

It seems even more excited. The more it makes those funny sounds, the more it seems like it is saying your name.

“You know me, isn’t it?”

It seems to agree.

“You saved me that day.” you say. “So either everyone was wrong and I didn’t go crazy back then, or I am going crazy right now.”

“You are certainly not going crazy, my dear.”

You yell as you listen to a voice come from behind you and a figure comes from the shadows of the corner of the room. A purple bearded wizard dressed up in a fine robe walks towards you.

“Don’t be afraid. I am Rasmodius, the Wizard, keeper of the secrets of the forest, master of the elemental’s knowledge... you get the picture.”

“Where did you come from?!” you yell as you try to step back, but you end up tripping and falling.

“I have been paying close attention to you for the past couple of days. You are the one whose arrival was foreseen by the valley. The one connected to the forest powers, the one to change the valleys destiny... well you, my friend, are a hero to become.”

“What the fuck is going on here? Am I dreaming? Am I dead? Am I dreaming in a comma?” you star hyperventilating. “I have gone crazy, that is it. I finally lost it!”

“Please, calm down.” the wizard says as he can see you going pale.

“Oh my, what if I never left Zuzu city? I must still be in bed, I need to wake up to go to work, that is it! I am not crazy I am just sleeping...”

The little Junimo beside up jumps and slaps your face with his little stick hand and it hurts way more than it seems to be possible.

“What the...” you say, but it seems to take you away from your anxious thoughts.

“As I was saying...” the Wizard cleans his throat. “You were brought back to this valley to help it heal from the many hazards it has been imposed by both mankind and witchcraft. Also, I have seen, to change the destiny of the people who live here.”

“Me?” you screech with unbelief. “Man, I can’t barely fix my own life.”

The wizard chuckles.

“Well, sometimes to help another one is the best way of helping oneself.” he says.

“What the hell is going on?” you say rubbing your temples.

“You will understand when the time is right.” the wizard replies. “For now, drink this.”

He extended to you a cup filled with a green liquid.

“You are kidding right?” you say.

“No, you are supposed to drink. These are the ingredients from the forest, it will help you understand the language of the elementals.” he says.

“I am not drinking it.”

The Junimo beside you starts jumping and puffing in a way to demonstrate impatience and he seems so angry that you take the cup from the wizard’s hand and, after taking a nauseated look at the content, you drink it.

You feel dizzy and things start moving a lot slower. You can see the memories of yourself as a kid running among trees, playing in the river, collecting and eating savage berries. You see yourself playing with animals, riding a horse, rolling in the mud with grandpa's pig.

You see the faces of some people from the town. You are beside them, helping them and doing nice things, things you had never thought you would do in your life. You feel happy to help, you feel like a part of something. And then... there is this someone you suddenly see yourself kiss.

“If you might ever need me... meet me in the towers west Cindersap forest.” you hear the Wizard’s voice.

As you open your eyes, you see the image of a man and a girl, both with glasses in front of you.

“Y/n? Are you ok?” you hear Maru’s voice coming from the distance. “Oh my Yoba, what a scare you gave me!”

“What? Where am I?” you say slowly sitting down and looking around.

“You are in the clinic. Maru found you passed out near the fountain. You have symptoms of an insulation, perhaps you have been working too hard in the farm.” the man says, adjusting his glasses. “I am doctor Harvey.”

“Insulation? Last thing I remember I was drinking that green thing from the wizard...”

Both Maru and the doctor stare at you, looking concerned.

“I mean, I probably had a bad dream while passed out. Thanks for bringing me Maru, sorry for the trouble.” you say.

“No problem, I am stronger than I look.” she says. “Now lay down, you are taking intravenous medicine, you seem to be very poorly nourished. Have you been skipping meals?”

She gently pushes you into laying down.

“I forget to eat sometimes.”

“That is very hazardous! Even more being a farmer and working a lot in the sun and with so much physical effort!” says Harvey, looking very angry.

He gives you a full lecture about the importance of eating healthy and says that he is going to give you some supplements. You are actually worried about how you are going to pay for the treatment.

…-

Next part here:

Credits for the pose reference: https://snuffysbox.tumblr.com/post/160658875287/have-another-angsty-draw-your-otp-%E1%95%95-3-%E1%95%97-please

#stardew valley #stardew valley fanfic #stardew #stardew valley fanart #stardew valley Sebastian #sdv #SnufkinWasHere #stardew valley rasmodius

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yanderecandystore · 5 years

Text

🥺🥺🥺🥺 OHMYGODTHANKYOU!!

I'm glad my writing makes you happy!

Sorry for making you wait! And also, sorry if it isn't what you expected (cause I'm st00pid)

I think we might be able to see this new wealthy student some other time.

Trusting [Yandere bully - Headcanons]

Since you started studying in this school, you noticed how so many students here are actually really wealthy.

Some people were nice to you, some people didn't care about you being poor.

If it wasn't for the twins, you would actually make a lot of friends. That's the sad part.

You hate the fact that people are afraid of talking to you, but you can't fully blame them. If they did, they would be tormented as well, especially if they were poor like you.

Actually, for some reason the people that used to talk with you that had the same condition as you, suddenly decided to change schools.

You didn't hear anything from them anymore.

But anyway, you were in the school's library trying to find an book for your next school project. Your teacher had given some copies in class, but there were only a few that she had picked up, and you ended up being without one.

She said you should ask someone to share a book with you and make a project in group, but no one wanted to make this project with you. Only the twins. You aren't accepting their offer.

You find a copy of the book that you needed, but, it's too high on the shelve for you.

You struggle to reach it, when someone else grabs it. A student you haven't met before, he is a bit taller than you.

He said he wanted to read this book as is one of his favorites, and that was the last copy that the school library had, so you tell him you needed for an school project.

He looked a bit sad, but he seemed to understand that you needed it more than him, awwn poor guy, you felt a little bad about this but he seemed to not mind as much as you.

He, actually wasn't bothered about being close and talking to you. Should you do something? Should you say something?

"- . . . So, uhn, do you like reading?" You were trying to start an conversation as best as you could. You were a little desperate to meet new people, to talk to someone who isn't always belittling you.

He says that yes, he enjoys reading, he doesn't have an specific genre that he likes, well, maybe novel, but yeah, he enjoys reading pretty much anything.

You start to say your tastes, even if you aren't an bookworm yourself, you enjoy an good book from time to time.

This is going so well, you think. He seems to like talking with you with is really good! This is the best conversation that you had in a long time.

You start switching subjects, finding little things in familiar. He seems to be a nerdy boy, but also he loves animals so much, he has a chinchilla!

You want to celebrate this moment, it feels amazing to talk with this guy!

You part your ways, the student leaves you to go to the third year classes. Well, he is an really nice person! And a bit cute in a way.

You find yourself rethink about him and your silly little talk, gosh, you actually feel happy for talking with him.

Well, he is thinking the same.

He had heard about you, the twins plaything, to torment, to bully. He should have known better to never hear some random gossip, but he heard the rumours about you and the twins Coldwell. Everyone heard about it.

He planned on never talking to you, never saying anything about your name, as precaution for his on safety. He didn't need the twins to start targeting him again. It seems that everyone that talks with you, is doomed.

But.

You were really nice. He saw you on the library, thinking that, if the twins aren't close, he could see for himself what type of person you were. He didn't want to read that book, he already had an copy of it, he just thought it would help him get closer to you.

It's funny when thinks of it, he always tried to avoid you at all costs, so he wouldn't be harmed. But somehow, he was always there, looking at a distance, seeing them treat you like an toy, with he hated it. He somehow, was always looking out to see if you were there, getting closer.

Thinking about you and twins every now and then since you were the school's main gossip. But thinking about you every second.

He feels so dumb now, avoiding you like an decease, but somehow, obsessively thinking about you. Thinking about if he should talk to you at least once, if he should interfere in the bullying at least once.

It was tempting, you were always trying to be close to people, but people avoided you. Sometimes you looked so sad.

He doesn't want you to be all alone like this, he know deep down, how it hurts to be all by yourself.

He thinks you're kinda cute, maybe it was the way you were struggling to get the book or just your little ways of expressing yourself.

He wants to get to know you better. Maybe you'll want to know him too?

Rumours around this school, spread like oxygene through the air.

A pretty boy was seen walking around with you. An third year. Walking around and talking with you.

Some say they saw him grabbing the book for you, some say they saw him patting your head, some say they saw you holding hands. Some say you were flirting with him, some say that you were offering him something, some say that they saw you two going out after school.

Basically, the truth mixes with lies and misinterpretetions of what really happened.

And basically, the twins are pissed.

"- WHAT??!"

Both can tell that there are some lies mixed in this rumours, after all, they know you wouldn't do such a thing.

You wouldn't just, go out with someone you just met, or, hold hands with them, right? It doesn't sound like an you-thing-to-do.

They're so afraid that those rumours might be true though. What if you were that easy? What if he likes you? What if you like him too? What if you have know him for a long time, and you were seeing each other, and you were happly dating in secret and-

Thinking about all possibilities, asking who saw and who knows exactly what happened.

No one seems to be telling the full story. This isn't going well.

The best option is to see for themselves. They could ask you, sure, but what guarantees that you wouldn't lie? You probably have been lying all this time to them.

Acting all shy to them, but probably being completely different on the inside.

They find you, sitting alone at lunchtime, God they wish they could just come in and take you away! But they need to see if this "pretty boy" appear.

Someone is coming close to you.

Oh, they know that guy! He was an close friend to them, until, he started being an wuss and decided to quit. Saying they were taking it "too far", that they were acting like kids.

"- Asshole."

They don't mind seeing him around school, they actually don't care about him. But seeing you be this, happy, close to someone else hurts them.

You two look like an couple, neither of them like this. Although being calm most of the time, the thought of loosing you to this guy makes Adrien want to cry on the spot.

And Alexandra is just having trouble keep it together. She is sad but also so angry at what she is seeing.

You look like your normal self, the one before the bullying started. Happy and excited about the little things in life. They never understood why you were like that.

They wanted to see that again.

And that asshole is just mocking them at this point, he looks like he is enjoying this a little too much. Getting too close to you.

They didn't know what to do! They can't loose you to this prick! They think for a while, until:

"- Oh . . . I think I have an idea . . ."

You were talking to your new friend, it was nice to eat lunch with company.

But you could see both twins coming closer, it seems like you can't take a break for one day.

"- Greetings sweetheart! We were looking for you!!" Alexandra says, she is ready to just grab you and run away but, they have a better plan in mind.

"- You never showed up, why did you leave us waiting?" Adrien asks you-and oh, yeah! You were supposed to go meet them in their favorite spot, but since they didn't say anything to you personally you didn't remember.

You normally go just so things don't get complicated. Not because you want to.

"- We see you already met our friend here, isn't he a cutie? We were wondering, what sweet lies have he feed you?"

. . .

"- . . . What? What do you mean?" You start to panic a little, please, they can't be telling the truth. Is an trick, right?

"- Your new boyfriend here and us are besties since childhood! We used to be playing around and planning our next big prank on little pests like you."

"- You want to know our best prank ever?"

"- Oh please, [Y/N] don't listen to-" Alexandra shushes him with her hand, a little too aggressively. That could count as an slap.

"- Sshh- Our best prank was making an pathetic student, that got lovestruck by our little charming prince over here, understand the cruel reality that they weren't in the same level!"

"- Do you remember their faces? When they started crying after you harshly rejected them? When told them you were so far above their reach?"

"- I-I'm not like that anymore!" He says, saying it more towards you than towards your bullies.

"- If I were you, I would be careful [Y/N]~"

"- You never know when he'll strike-"

"- S-Shut UP! How can I trust what you're saying, if all you have done was try to make my life miserable?!!" You yell at them, you can't hold it anymore, this hurts way too much!

"- . . . Well, we have never lied to you, have we?"

"- We have only ever told you the truth, you're beneath people like us, you're beneath people like him! An pathetic loser that needs to know their little place" They say as they start to go away.

"- Whenever he breaks your silly little heart, don't be surprised."

. . .

They're gone now.

God, you know you shouldn't listen to them, but can you trust someone you just met?

You start to cry a bit.

"- [Y/N], I'm sorry, I probably should have told you sooner. But please, I swear I'm not like that anymore! I feel terrible about it, and if I could I would-"

"- It's fine! You don't need to say anything now, I just, really need some time alone." You tell him, you need a little bit of space now.

He hesitates, but decided to go away and leave you alone for a bit.

The twins can't simply force the principal to expel him, can't just pick up a fight with him, can't blackmail him, but they can sure make you question your new friend's relationship with the twins.

You feel worst now, it feels like you can't trust anyone.

You'll probably talk to him later, but, you need some time alone.

He feels terrible for what he has done in the past, and feels even worse for not telling you sooner.

But he swears that he is going to make it up for you, somehow . . .

And both twins swear to bring up all of their fun times with this student, if it means making you go away from him.

"- When he breaks your heart, we'll be here waiting for you with open arms :)!"

#anonymous cutie said:#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere twins #yandere bully #yandere oc

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peakysabrina · 4 years

Text

Heaven

How Jeremiah met his wife, how they got married, and the story of how Isaiah was born.

TW for miscarriages, sorry!!

Jeremiah Jesus had tried to become a priest before, but because of the reasons stated above, had been pushed out of the noble calling of God. Time and time again, he had gone to the seminar, and had done what all the white boys had done, better than them, and was still rejected with a snare and everything short but a kick to the backside. Somehow, his devotion to God wasn't good enough, his oratory wasn't good enough, and him as a man wasn't enough. Every time, he knew very well why it had been: because he was black, his parents were from the Caribbean, and he didn't fit the Church of England's image of a good shepard for their sheep. The sheep, better known as citizens, weren't big on other ethnicities, and a coloured pastor could drive them away from church, and away from the brain-wash that went on inside such venerable buildings.

So Jeremiah Jesus gave up, tired of wasting his time studying the Bible and the great Classic masters of oratory, given that it was of no use. Instead, he decided it would be much better to make it on his own, to go off into the world, make his money, find a job, one that he could excel at, despite the colour of his skin, or the place of origin of his parents. The first step to make that happen was to go around to the shops, to try and find someone who would employ him, even if it was in the backrooms, or warehouses. No one agreed, so Jeremiah moved on to the farms and factories around Birmingham. There, in the small property of Jacob Steadman, he found what he was looking for: a steady position as farm hand, doing whatever was needed.

The Steadman family was composed of seven people: the father, Jacob, who was married to Lucinda; the eldest daughter, Lucy; and four younger siblings, named Jacob Jr., Alphonse (who went by Alphie), Henrietta and Julius. They had a couple more men on the property, who mostly dealt with the produce the family sold at nearby markets. The Steadmans weren't rich, but they lived comfortably, which allowed them a bit more independence, and an education for their children. The eldest one, a beautiful red-haired girl in her early twenties, was especially gifted, and wrote stories for her younger brothers and sisters, which she also illustrated with all the care in the world. She was, unfortunately, prone to bouts of coughing fits, with no apparent reason, and the fairy-tale sessions were often interrupted by these moments, much to her sadness.

"Hey. You need any help?" the same Lucy came asking, carrying a tin full of water and a plate of food. "You've been at it for hours, eh?"

"It's my job" Jeremiah replied, looking up from the car tyre he was trying to patch up, and seeing that blessed apparition, made even more welcome by the food she was holding. "I will accept some lunch, though"

"Yeah, thought so" she replied, chuckling and handing him the plate and the water. "How's it going with dad's car? That tyre's busted"

"Busted is... an understatement. You feeling better today? I heard you coughing yesterday"

"I uh... I'm better, I think, yeah" Lucy sighed, obviously not one bit better, but refusing to look weak, even in front of the help. "To be honest with you, I don't think I'll ever get any better. But that's just my opinion"

"Have you been to a doctor?" Jeremiah looked up from his plate, still chewing a bit of meat. "Nothing they can do about it?"

"I've been to a couple doctors, and none of them know what the hell is going on. Shit, sorry, shouldn't curse, you're religious" Lucy let out, apparently unaware that it hadn't been offensive, but rather funny, to hear someone so proper speaking like that.

"No problem, I'm not that religious" he assured, observing closely the process of his boss's daughter crouching, and then sitting on the ground. If he was asked, a lady sitting on the ground, talking to the coloured help would be much more scandalous than all the cursing in the world. But he liked how pratical she was, how she didn't let her obvious beauty and good manners get in the way of doing what she wanted to do. "I have a chair somewhere over there, if you want"

"Nah, I'm alright, thanks" was the quick answer, accompanied by a shrug. "I'm sorry if I kept you awake with my coughing"

"You didn't. I couldn't sleep anyway"

"Anything worrying you?" Lucy kindly asked, taking a nearby wrench and playing with it, throwing it in the air a couple of times, and catching it with precision. "Well, anything I can help you with? Even if it's just talking"

"On second thought, maybe it was your coughing" Jeremiah joked, finishing his lunch and taking a big swig of water. "No, it's nothing. I was reading, and I lost track of time"

"I know that feeling. You know what I was reading? That one author you showed me, Jane Austen. Really like her stuff" Lucy informed, dreamily looking into the distance. Truth be told, Jeremiah was terrified of her when she looked like that, terrified of the way it made him want to lunge forward and kiss her. It was unspokenly agreed between the two that whatever the thing between them was, it was friendship, and just that: friendship.

"Glad you like it, I came across some stuff of hers through a friend of mine in town" he replied, clearing his throat, and coming back to reality. "His dad knew her dad, or so he says"

"That's interesting. What about you, what were you reading?"

"Do you even need to ask?" he laughed, drinking what was left from the water. "I go back to it a couple times a year, to make sure I haven't forgotten anything. Helps me keep my mind in the right place"

"Fair enough, Jimmy. No shame in that" she responded, using that name that only she was allowed to use. She didn't like the name Jeremiah for some reason, didn't like the way it sounded; but Jimmy sounded good, it suited him. Reading the Bible and losing track of time because of it also suit him, and Lucy was very aware that it was just one of the manners in which he was perfect, in which he made her fall for him.

"You've read the Bible, haven't you?"

"Might have... when I went to Sunday School. Ah, and on Sundays, they always read a bit, don't they? Can't say I remember reading it from start to finish in one go, though" she admitted, tapping her fingers on her lips as she gave the subject some thought. "I prefer novels, You know the ones, where the girls have pretty dresses, and always end up marrying the man of their dreams and living in a mansion"

"That what you want to do?"

"Pfff" Lucy let out, a strange and humorous sound that made Jeremiah laugh along. "I don't really care about dresses, and mansions are too much maintenance. As for the man of my dreams, he knows where I live, he can come get me if he wants" she added, looking down, and then up at him. Another good thing about Lucy was this: she knew what she wanted, and she knew how to get it. The ball was in his court, so to speak, and there was no religion that could provide an answer.

That conversation was the latest of many they had shared, and hints had been coming all along. But it was all in good fun, a bit of light flirting between friends. There had never been anything like that very particular jab, and it wasn't mistakeable for banter. So, it was time to make a decision: to stick to friendship, maintain everything as it was, and resort to reading the Holy Book to drown the noise of his very obvious attraction; or to go ahead and go get the girl he wanted. It was true: he knew where she lived, and knew which room was hers. It had to be the one which still had light coming from underneath the door. She had to be awake, and alone, for them to be able to talk through what they needed to talk through. As softly as he could, he knocked, and the door opened instantly, like she had been waiting. Knowing Lucy, she probably had been, although she would not admit to it.

"Thank God, I was starting to think you hadn't gotten my hint" Lucy scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Took you long enough"

"It wasn't an open invitation, was it? What happens if your parents come around to check on you? And what if they hear us?" Jeremiah asked in return, fully regretting what he had done. It would mean being dismissed on the spot, and he couldn't really afford to go back to his parents' house. "I can't lose my job"

"You won't, don't think about it" she guaranteed, going around Jeremiah and locking the door. "See? They can't come in"

"What does it mean, then? What do you want to do?" he asked, bearing in mind that a decision had to be made, and the sooner the better, before someone caught them.

"Do I need to know? Do you really need an answer to that?" Lucy asked, biting her lip repeatedly, obviously nervous for being put on the spot.

"If I didn't need to know where we stand, I wouldn't have come here, now would I?" Jeremiah asked, losing a bit of his cool. It was in his nature to need everything decided, and defined. The idea of puting them both at risk for nothing was annoying, to say the least. "I came here for nothing, wasn't it, Lucy?"

Her reaction was completely unexpected: instead of pouting, or retaliating, Lucy simply walked up to him, placed her hands on his neck, and pulled him down, kissing him on the lips. For good measure, she took Jeremiah's own palms and placed them on her waist, where he could feel the warmth of her skin through the cotton of the nightgown.

"Would this be considered nothing?" Lucy asked, breaking the kiss but making sure Jeremiah's hands stayed where they were. "Because if so..." she continued, taking his writs, and making his hands move to her thighs, and then up, and up, until the nightgown was over her head and on the floor. "...would this be better?"

For once, Jeremiah was speachless, and torn between looking at her face, or looking down at her body, which was wrong, but pretty damn irresistible. He didn't know whether she was aware of what she had done, but it didn't seem to be a problem when he bent over to kiss her, taking her into his arms without thinking too much about it.

After that night, things only escalated: from sex, to talks of marriage, and to a proposal, done beneath the apple trees on a warm Spring day, complete with the best ring the sparse money Jeremiah could buy. At the same time, he'd started making efforts to find a new job, whereas Lucy had gotten employment at the Birmingham library, in hopes that some day, they could tell her parents about their engagement. Once that was out of the way, they could get married, and move into their own house, living their lives, building a family, having a good existence. Luckily, there had been an opening for Bible Studies teacher, under mysterious circumstances, but that were probably connected with the imprisonment of the deacon. Hence, it was time: Lucy's parents had to know.

"Mom and dad, me and Ji... I mean, me and Jeremiah have something we need to tell you" Lucy started, getting her mother's attention, while her father kept on reading the newspaper. "We're engaged to be married"

"You're what? To... to each other?" mrs. Steadman asked, absolutely caught off guard.

"Yeah" her daughter responded, showing her mother the engagement ring.

"No"

"What?"

"I said no" mr. Steadman chimed in, lowering the paper, and looking at his daughter with the utmost disgust. "You are not marrying a coloured man, let alone a poor one"

"Excuse me, sir, but I don't think the colour of my skin has anything to do with this subject. I love your daughter, I am prepared to offer her the best life I possibly can" Jeremiah protested, forcing Lucy to take his arm, to pacify him a little.

"Look son, I have no problem with the colour of your skin, but I am not letting my daughter marry you" Jacob replied, as if he was simply commenting on the weather outside. "You have no idea how people will treat her if she marries you"

"I'm not unaware of that, dad, I know how stupid people are; I don't care about any of that, I'm prepared to deal with whatever is thrown at me. Jeremiah asked me to marry him, I said yes, and that's that. You can be by my side on my wedding day, or not. That's your call" Lucy stated, beggining to feel the burn of anger on her throat. "He's the man I want, he's the man I love, and that's that on that"

"Out" Jacob simply stated, his eyes as clear as day, pointing to the door. He didn't even raise his voice, but the message as loud: he wanted the both of them out of his house, and he wanted them to go without missing a second. As for his wife, she just lowered her head and went back to sewing, pursing her lips but saying nothing. It seemed like the only one affected by that demand was Lucy, whose eyes filled with tears, and fists clenched. "I said out, didn't you hear me? Out of my sight, both of you. And don't you dare come back"

Matter of fact, they didn't. Lucy packed her clothes and some books she'd bought with her own money, wrote a letter to her siblings explaining why she had to leave, and was out of her childhood home before dinner time. As for her fiancé, a completely distraught Jeremiah, there was not much to be said: the guilt he felt in his heart was so overwhelming he wanted to simultaneously punch Jacob Steadman and hug Lucy, to cry on her shoulder. It was her spirit that never waivered, it was her that got him out of the property her parents owned, and it was her who found them a room to rent while they saved up for an apartment or house of their own. Their landlord, Arthur Shelby, was a strange man, but his wife, named Elizabeth, was an angel, who looked after the young couple with as much care as she did her own child, a lanky, sickly-looking boy named after his father.

As for their wedding, there was not much to be said: there was the priest, the bride, the groom, and two witnesses, namely Elizabeth Shelby and her husband, who signed the paper with a disgruntled look on his face. It wasn't much of a party, but then again it didn't need to be, as Lucy and Jeremiah didn't have the means to provide one. The bride had a bouquet of wildflowers, and a simple everyday dress, but her groom was so in love it didn't matter. To Jeremiah, she was an angel, something from high heavens.

"... I now pronounce you husband and wife. Mr. Jesus, you may kiss your bride" the pastor announced, causing both Jeremiah and Lucy to smile at each other, before chastly kissing to the sound of Elizabeth Shelby's subdued clapping, echoing off the walls of the empty church.

"Congratulations, I wish you nothing but happiness, truly" Elizabeth wished, hugging Lucy tightly and patting Jeremiah's shoulder. As for her husband, he was already outside, smoking a cigarette and probably trying to make a pass at any woman who passed by. "Now would be the time to leave your bouquet at the altar and make a wish. I'll wait outside"

"Oh, I forgot" Lucy let out, turning to the altar and trying to think of a wish. "You have anything you want to wish for?" she asked Jeremiah, who in all honesty, was just happy to be alive and married to the girl he loved.

"Not really, I'll leave the wish to you" he replied, accompanying her back to the altar, where a figure of Jesus Christ on the cross looked over them.

"Well, I wish for..." she started, a sweet smile on her features. "I wish for a happy and healthy baby. And since my husband doesn't want to make his own wish, I'll take his and ask for some te ability to carry my child safely"

"That's a good wish" Jeremiah replied, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Both of them are, really. Can't wait to have a little one with you"

"Me either. You reckon it will take long to... should we be talking about this in church, though?" Lucy laughed, putting down the simply bouquet of flowers and taking Jeremiah's hand as they exited the temple. "I feel bad now, for talking about baby-making at church"

"God doesn't care, don't worry" Jeremiah assured, as they walked over to the Shelbies, who were waiting for them. "Can't wait, though"

In the end, it did take a fair bit for a baby to make its appearance in their life. Elizabeth Shelby had four children by the time Lucy Jesus managed to carry a pregnancy to term. Her disappointments had taken its toll on the girl, who became more and more fragile as time went by. Her coughing became constant, and her body slowly started giving in. However, Lucy had gathered every bit of strength she had, and, in 1905, Isaiah was born. He was healthy, beautiful, and strong, much stronger than his mother. In due time, the little boy had to say goodbye to his father, who departed for war, and then, to his mother, who couldn't survive another miscarriage. Elizabeth Shelby and Polly Gray, her sister-in-law, raised the Jesus boy, who grew up playing with the Shelby boys, and who would, in time, become one of them.

The second part of this (focused on Isaiah) is on AO3

#peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders cast #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders #peaky blinder headcanon #peaky fookin blinders

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