#I could make an estimated guess on how much we could make from some of leeli's kittens as they get older tbh

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Been doing research on charcoal Bengals tonight and I am fighting the urge to message all the breeder pages I'm finding like "hey yeah, so I have nine charcoal kittens right now, yeah, this little snow bengal I personally rescued off the streets had a litter of six perfect lil charcoals and her charcoal sister I also rescued had a baby charcoal in her litter too. yeah I got them for free they were on the streets. yeah you heard me right. Seven. Charcoal. Kittens. They have no lineage because I got their mamas off the streets but hypothetically what could they be worth?" and then send like 40 pictures

also I'm starting to wonder if Maraly's three black kittens are melanistic? which means they have the same traits as a black leopard/panther, where they appear all black except in certain light where you can see their spots. Because they HAVE markings, they're just super light and hard to see. I had a melanistic Bengal named Diamond back in the day, she was gorgeous and she had BEAUTIFUL kittens and I also gotta check pictures of one of her kittens sometime because I'm wondering now if he was actually a charcoal and we just didn't know at the time (his mama was black and his father was a silver and APPARENTLY silver charcoals exist).

[txttletale]

Saw a tweet that said something around:

"cannot emphasize enough how horrid chatgpt is, y'all. it's depleting our global power & water supply, stopping us from thinking or writing critically, plagiarizing human artists. today's students are worried they won't have jobs because of AI tools. this isn't a world we deserve"

I've seen some of your AI posts and they seem nuanced, but how would you respond do this? Cause it seems fairly-on point and like the crux of most worries. Sorry if this is a troublesome ask, just trying to learn so any input would be appreciated.

i would simply respond that almost none of that is true.

'depleting the global power and water supply'

something i've seen making the roudns on tumblr is that chatgpt queries use 3 watt-hours per query. wow, that sounds like a lot, especially with all the articles emphasizing that this is ten times as much as google search. let's check some other very common power uses:

running a microwave for ten minutes is 133 watt-hours

gaming on your ps5 for an hour is 200 watt-hours

watching an hour of netflix is 800 watt-hours

and those are just domestic consumer electricty uses!

a single streetlight's typical operation 1.2 kilowatt-hours a day (or 1200 watt-hours)

a digital billboard being on for an hour is 4.7 kilowatt-hours (or 4700 watt-hours)

i think i've proved my point, so let's move on to the bigger picture: there are estimates that AI is going to cause datacenters to double or even triple in power consumption in the next year or two! damn that sounds scary. hey, how significant as a percentage of global power consumption are datecenters?

1-1.5%.

ah. well. nevertheless!

what about that water? yeah, datacenters use a lot of water for cooling. 1.7 billion gallons (microsoft's usage figure for 2021) is a lot of water! of course, when you look at those huge and scary numbers, there's some important context missing. it's not like that water is shipped to venus: some of it is evaporated and the rest is generally recycled in cooling towers. also, not all of the water used is potable--some datacenters cool themselves with filtered wastewater.

most importantly, this number is for all data centers. there's no good way to separate the 'AI' out for that, except to make educated guesses based on power consumption and percentage changes. that water figure isn't all attributable to AI, plenty of it is necessary to simply run regular web servers.

but sure, just taking that number in isolation, i think we can all broadly agree that it's bad that, for example, people are being asked to reduce their household water usage while google waltzes in and takes billions of gallons from those same public reservoirs.

but again, let's put this in perspective: in 2017, coca cola used 289 billion liters of water--that's 7 billion gallons! bayer (formerly monsanto) in 2018 used 124 million cubic meters--that's 32 billion gallons!

so, like. yeah, AI uses electricity, and water, to do a bunch of stuff that is basically silly and frivolous, and that is broadly speaking, as someone who likes living on a planet that is less than 30% on fire, bad. but if you look at the overall numbers involved it is a miniscule drop in the ocean! it is a functional irrelevance! it is not in any way 'depleting' anything!

'stopping us from thinking or writing critically'

this is the same old reactionary canard we hear over and over again in different forms. when was this mythic golden age when everyone was thinking and writing critically? surely we have all heard these same complaints about tiktok, about phones, about the internet itself? if we had been around a few hundred years earlier, we could have heard that "The free access which many young people have to romances, novels, and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth."

it is a reactionary narrative of societal degeneration with no basis in anything. yes, it is very funny that laywers have lost the bar for trusting chatgpt to cite cases for them. but if you think that chatgpt somehow prevented them from thinking critically about its output, you're accusing the tail of wagging the dog.

nobody who says shit like "oh wow chatgpt can write every novel and movie now. yiou can just ask chatgpt to give you opinions and ideas and then use them its so great" was, like, sitting in the symposium debating the nature of the sublime before chatgpt released. there is no 'decay', there is no 'decline'. you should be suspicious of those narratives wherever you see them, especially if you are inclined to agree!

plagiarizing human artists

nah. i've been over this ad infinitum--nothing 'AI art' does could be considered plagiarism without a definition so preposterously expansive that it would curtail huge swathes of human creative expression.

AI art models do not contain or reproduce any images. the result of them being trained on images is a very very complex statistical model that contains a lot of large-scale statistical data about all those images put together (and no data about any of those individual images).

to draw a very tortured comparison, imagine you had a great idea for how to make the next Great American Painting. you loaded up a big file of every norman rockwell painting, and you made a gigantic excel spreadsheet. in this spreadsheet you noticed how regularly elements recurred: in each cell you would have something like "naturalistic lighting" or "sexually unawakened farmers" and the % of times it appears in his paintings. from this, you then drew links between these cells--what % of paintings containing sexually unawakened farmers also contained naturalistic lighting? what % also contained a white guy?

then, if you told someone else with moderately competent skill at painting to use your excel spreadsheet to generate a Great American Painting, you would likely end up with something that is recognizably similar to a Norman Rockwell painting: but any charge of 'plagiarism' would be absolutely fucking absurd!

this is a gross oversimplification, of course, but it is much closer to how AI art works than the 'collage machine' description most people who are all het up about plagiarism talk about--and if it were a collage machine, it would still not be plagiarising because collages aren't plagiarism.

(for a better and smarter explanation of the process from soneone who actually understands it check out this great twitter thread by @reachartwork)

today's students are worried they won't have jobs because of AI tools

i mean, this is true! AI tools are definitely going to destroy livelihoods. they will increase productivty for skilled writers and artists who learn to use them, which will immiserate those jobs--they will outright replace a lot of artists and writers for whom quality is not actually important to the work they do (this has already essentially happened to the SEO slop website industry and is in the process of happening to stock images).

jobs in, for example, product support are being cut for chatgpt. and that sucks for everyone involved. but this isn't some unique evil of chatgpt or machine learning, this is just the effect that technological innovation has on industries under capitalism!

there are plenty of innovations that wiped out other job sectors overnight. the camera was disastrous for portrait artists. the spinning jenny was famously disastrous for the hand-textile workers from which the luddites drew their ranks. retail work was hit hard by self-checkout machines. this is the shape of every single innovation that can increase productivity, as marx explains in wage labour and capital:

“The greater division of labour enables one labourer to accomplish the work of five, 10, or 20 labourers; it therefore increases competition among the labourers fivefold, tenfold, or twentyfold. The labourers compete not only by selling themselves one cheaper than the other, but also by one doing the work of five, 10, or 20; and they are forced to compete in this manner by the division of labour, which is introduced and steadily improved by capital. Furthermore, to the same degree in which the division of labour increases, is the labour simplified. The special skill of the labourer becomes worthless. He becomes transformed into a simple monotonous force of production, with neither physical nor mental elasticity. His work becomes accessible to all; therefore competitors press upon him from all sides. Moreover, it must be remembered that the more simple, the more easily learned the work is, so much the less is its cost to production, the expense of its acquisition, and so much the lower must the wages sink – for, like the price of any other commodity, they are determined by the cost of production. Therefore, in the same manner in which labour becomes more unsatisfactory, more repulsive, do competition increase and wages decrease”

this is the process by which every technological advancement is used to increase the domination of the owning class over the working class. not due to some inherent flaw or malice of the technology itself, but due to the material realtions of production.

so again the overarching point is that none of this is uniquely symptomatic of AI art or whatever ever most recent technological innovation. it is symptomatic of capitalism. we remember the luddites primarily for failing and not accomplishing anything of meaning.

if you think it's bad that this new technology is being used with no consideration for the planet, for social good, for the flourishing of human beings, then i agree with you! but then your problem shouldn't be with the technology--it should be with the economic system under which its use is controlled and dictated by the bourgeoisie.

[il-miele-che-scrive]

lando norris x reader

based on this request (because I take requests and I have to make it everyone's business): Hi not sure if you take requests but in case you do could you write reader x lando where y/n is a celebrity or an influencer and she drops subtle hints at who is her new bf maybe some fun facts about him like "oh he hates fish and I'm making a lot of fish for christmas" and eventually the fans are like "guys it's totally lando"

words count: 2.5k + fans' tweets at the end

author's note: my first request and it was so fun to write 🥹 also added a hospital scene from the time of Vegas GP so we could experience a bit of protective Y/n and painkillers-high Lando (I forgot about a fish scene)

edit: I've just realized I've messed up the dates so let's pretend the award thingie was in '23 instead of '22

A secret boyfriend

It was a normal Tuesday of 2023 when Y/n Y/l/n and Lando Norris met. Well, not so normal since it was the day Y/n won the first award in her musical career, and Lando had his first debut as an award presenter.

"And the winner is..." He opened the envelope and flipped it, as he held it upside down. "Y/n Y/l/n."

Y/n couldn't believe it at first. She looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes. They hugged before Y/n stood up and got on her way to the scene, still questioning if she actually heard her name or was it her mind playing tricks on her.

"Thank you," Y/n sent Lando a smile as he handed her the award, "are you sure it's for me?" She joked, trying to mask the anxiety she felt from the fact that now she had to give a speech while everyone watched.

"Absolutely, it's all yours. Well deserved." Lando said feeling a bit starstruck from being so close to one of his favorite singers.

Just this one simple interaction was enough for both Y/n's and Lando's fanbases to raise suspicions. However, what was unavailable to the fans' eyes were Y/n and Lando's interaction at the after party. Later the same evening, he approached her.

"Hey, congratulations again." He said with a grin on his face. "Your music is amazing, I couldn't imagine you not winning this award."

"Stop with the compliments, I'm gonna blush." Y/n laughed. "Nice to meet you. Lando Norris, isn't it?"

"Yeah, do you watch Formula One?"

"I'm going to be honest from the beginning and admit I did not, but I did my research and I just might start being a fan."

"If you're ever down for hearing firsthand gossip straight from the track, I'm at your service."

"I'd love to hear all the gossip over a coffe sometime."

"Let me give you my number then and I'll arrange something."

And so a few days later they had a coffee date. The date marked the beginning of a carefully hidden romance. They wanted to keep it a secret from the public eye, not wanting people prying on them, trying to estimate how long they'll last.

Keeping the relationship secret somehow came easy to them. They were seen on the coffee date indeed, however they made sure to have the next dates in private. The fans on both sides were literally clueless to the whole ongoing romance. Y/n had her tour, Lando had his races and it wasn't even a little bit suspicious how a lot concerts aligned with race weekends.

Unfortunately, one day Y/n went live on Instagram with her best friend. Unfortunately, because Y/f/n didn't know how to keep her mouth shut. Unfortunately, because Y/f/n gave away the big secret.

"You know, guys, we're gonna use lives as a way to spend time together," she joked, "I've been feeling a bit abandoned since Y/n has been spending so much time with her boyfriend. Even on tour and with his busy schedule, can you believe this?"

Y/n's eyes widened. "Y/f/n!" She scolded her friend.

"What? It's a joke, no worries, I can see you're finally happy and I'm happy for you!"

"Y/f/n! You weren't supposed to say that!"

But the damage was already done. There was nothing Y/n could say to save the situation. So instead she decided to start dropping subtle hints for the fans to guess. Maybe it was the right time to make the relationship public after five months. They couldn't hide it forever.

Y/n started the hint game when she was on Jimmy Fallon's show.

"Y/n Y/l/n, everybody!" Jimmy announced when the girl walked in and sat down on the armchair. "I haven't seen you in a year and so much happened during this time!"

"I know, I know," Y/n said with a smile. "I'm so glad I could make a quick pit stop here on my way to Montreal."

"I'm happy to have you here. You won an award, you got a boyfriend. How- how did that happen?"

Y/n chuckled at Jimmy's question, realizing it was the perfect opportunity to play the hint game. "Oh, life takes unexpected turns and sometimes you find yourself on a fast track to happiness."

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the story. "Anything you'd like to share about this mystery man?"

"You know, Jimmy, I've finally found someone who knows how to navigate the twists and turns in life."

The audience laughed and the speculations among fans skyrocketed as they tried to connect the dots from Y/n's playful hints.

The other time, Y/n was on a popular radio show. The host couldn't help but ask about the latest reveal of a big secret.

"You were left hurting really badly after your previous relationship," he spoke, "it's really good to see you finally happy."

"It was a big thing for me. Still is." The girl admitted. "My previous relationship made it hard to open up to a man like that again."

"What made you do it eventually then?"

"I decided life is too short for keeping things in the slow lane," Y/n chuckled, "and when you meet someone that can belt out a Taylor Swift song with the same passion as you, it's hard not to fall for them."

"So your mystery man is a Swiftie too? Any chance we might know him?"

"Oh, I bet many people who are listening right now would know him."

"Now you got us all intrigued, your fans wouldn't forgive me if I didn't ask for more."

Y/n grinned, "Well, he's practically flawless, except for one little detail. He's a scorpio. And let me tell you, when we're playing our silly little racing video games, his competitive scorpio side really comes out. It's all fun and games until his racing pride is at stake."

The host laughed. "I'm sure fans are already trying to guess who this mystery gamer is. And you, are you competitive?"

"Yes, totally. He's more experienced than I am, but it doesn't mean I won't try my hardest to beat him."

"Is there any trait you don't share?"

The girl nodded, "Yes, one thing I'm secretly jealous of. He's quite known for being able to fall asleep in the most uncomfortable conditions. I wish I could do that. I'm all about pillows and comfy blankets, but he can just doze off anywhere, anytime."

A few days later, in the warmth of Lando's bedroom, surrounded by the hum of city life outside the windows, Y/n brought up the topic with a playful glint in her eyes.

"You know, Lando, fans have been buzzing lately. It's quite entertaining."

"Well, you have started this yourself," Lando laughed, laying his head in his girlfriend's lap.

"Not me, it was Y/f/n. I just went with it and turned it into something fun for myself." Y/n defended herself. Her fingers started gently playing with Lando's hair.

"You do seem to be having a great time, leading your fans on and all that," he joked. "Are there chances they'll solve your mystery anytime soon?"

"I've seen a few tweets accusing you of being my secret boyfriend, but most people don't really believe that."

"What?" He sit up dramatically. He continued in a fake-offended voice. "Do they think I'm not good enough?"

Y/n giggled.

Lando's mock offense turned into a playful pout. "I can't believe they're doubting my boyfriend potential. I mean, come on, look at me!" He gestured theatrically at himself.

Y/n burst into laughter, "Maybe we should give them a little more to work with, stir the pot a bit."

Lando leaned in, placing a quick kiss on Y/n's cheek. "You're a master of turning chaos into entertainment, you know that?"

"It's quite a compliment, coming from a Formula One driver."

Lando flashed a grin. "Well, we both have our talents, don't we? Maybe we should drop some subtle hints during a race?"

And so they waited months for the Grand Prix in Vegas, because that was where they could start rumours about getting married. Sure, they could get married spontaneously anywhere, but there was no better place than Las Vegas.

Thankfully they managed to keep the relationship secret all these months, breadcrumbing Y/n's fans. After the Vegas GP, Y/n and Lando where supposed to go for an afterparty, get 'drunk' and then 'married'.

Unfortunately, they plans changed the direction a bit with Lando's crash. Y/n's heart sank as she watched the unfolding drama on the big screens. The thrill of the race was replaced with concern for Lando's well-being. Plans for the afterparty and the playful hints about a fake marriage suddenly didn't matter anymore.

Emergency crews rushed onto the track, the anxious seconds felt like an eternity as they worked to help Lando get out of his racing car. Y/n's heart pounded in her chest, the world around her blurring. The fact that he managed to walk away from the car was a small comfort.

Y/n's phone buzzed moment after Lando disappeared from her sight.

from: Lando

I'm okay, they're taking me to st vincent's hospital. Will update you soon. Love you xx

to: Lando

Be there in a second, see you soon

A shaky exhale escaped Y/n, she felt slightly relief and ran towards the exit. She was sure Lando wasn't okay, not after that crash, but at least he was conscious and walking on his own (although it could be the adrenaline). A moment later, when Y/n got into her own car, her phone buzzed again.

from: Lando

Yknow you could post a pic from the hospital, that would stir the pot

Y/n smiled at the massage. If he could think of that, he might had been better than she thought.

The neon lights of Las Vegas blurred as she drove through the city streets, trying to get to the hospital as quick as possible. Despite the speed, the journey seemed to stretch in time.

Arriving at St. Vincent's hospital, Y/n rushed through the entrance, her heart pounding. The reception area looked like a maze in her anxious state, but she managed to find a nurse.

"I'm here for Lando Norris," the girl said.

The nurse looked her up and down. "Are you his family?"

"I'm his girlfriend."

"Then, unfortunately, I cannot let you see him."

"His family is in Europe, I'm the closest to family you can get here in Vegas."

"The closest, but not family. I'll ask you nicely to wait here for further information."

Y/n nodded with an angry expression on her face. She sat down in the waiting room, pulling out her phone and dialing the number of her manager.

"Hey, Mia," the singer said. "I need you to do something." Urgency and frustration were visible in her voice.

"What's going on, Y/n? Are you okay?" Mia's concerned voice came through the line.

"It's Lando. He's been in a crash during the race in Vegas, and they've taken him to St. Vincent's Hospital. I'm here, but they won't let me in because I'm not 'family.' That's so stupid."

"I'm sorry, Y/n, but I still don't see what you want me to do."

"I want you to make a donation for the hospital from my account. Send them like $100,000. I think it'll be enough to let me in."

"Okay, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Mia. I appreciate it more than you know."

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Anxiety lingered in the air. But there was no way they wouldn't let her in after that.

Y/n didn't know how much time had passed. She felt as if all she did was staring at a wall in front of her, ocassionally moving her eyes to the floor or the ceiling. She was fidgeting with her fingers as the same nurse approached her.

"Miss Y/l/n, you're allowed to see Mr Norris in the room 305."

Without a word, Y/n rushed to the room. She found Lando lying in the hospital bed, his gaze turning towards the door as she walked in.

"Lando." Y/n breathed his name, rushing to his side and taking his hand in hers. "I was so worried. And they didn't want to let me in at first."

He managed a dazed smile, his eyes slightly glazed. "Hey, you're real, right? This isn't happening in my head?"

Y/n chuckled. "Yes, I'm real. It's me."

He squinted at her. "You sure? You look like a beautiful hallucination."

"Well, if I'm a hallucination, at least a beautiful one."

"I feel like I'm floating on marshmallow clouds, but you're the most beautiful marshmallow I've ever seen."

Y/n couldn't help but laugh. "I think you might be on some strong painkillers, love."

"Ah, that explains the marshmallows. They're having a party in my head," Lando said with a dreamy expression.

Y/n burst into laughter, the tension of the earlier moments disappearing in the room.

"Did you know," Lando continued, "that racing is like trying to catch a rainbow? And if you're lucky, you might find a pot of gold at the end."

"Is there an Irish leprechaun as well?"

"I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe that's who's been guiding me all this time."

"You gotta ask him to make the rainbow less slippery next time then."

He nodded solemnly. "I'll have a serious talk with him. No more slippery rainbows, only smooth, marshmallow clouds."

As they joked around, Y/n couldn't ignore the quiet concern for Lando's well-being. She gently brushed his hair away from his forehead. "You scared me, you know? Seeing you crash like that."

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you. I promise I'll be more careful next time. But you have to promise me something too.""

"What is it?"

"You'll visit me in the marshmallow cloud world sometimes. It gets lonely up there."

Y/n laughed, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'll visit anytime you want."

"You know, even in the middle of all this craziness, having you here feels like finding that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."

As the night carried on, the hospital room became a cocoon shielding them from everything that layed outside its walls. Y/n found herself falling asleep on an armchai next to Lando's bed.

In the quiet ambiance of the night, Lando's mind wandered through the whimsical landscapes of his medication-induced thoughts. He couldn't help but marvel at the coincidence that brought Y/n into his life.

It all started with handing her an award. It seemed like it happened a whole lifetime ago and now, there they were, in the middle of marshmallow clouds.

Y/n, nestled in the armchair, breathed softly in her sleep, completely unaware of Lando's reflections. Soon enough, Lando allowed himself to succumb to the gentle pull of sleep as well.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Hey, Daddy, just a heads up, but mom wanted to know if you were interested in joining our little bet...." Amanda said.

"Oh, what's that, darling?"

"Welllll.... my friends convinced my to take Femruptarin, as you guys can probably tell...."

"Of course, sweetie, you just gave birth a few months ago."

"So, I told mom that my friends are placing bets on when I'll pop! Mom thought the idea was super cute so she asked to join. The winner gets all my savings from my OnlyFans, just as long as you promise if anyone films me popping that you upload it to my OF! You can keep the money it makes, naturally." Amanda giggled.

"Of course! That money could help me with building a new deck, and then some, I'd imagine."

"Ohhh yeah. You bet, Daddy! I make a whole lot flaunting this pregnant body of mine, these huge breasts I've developed from constantly being pregnant since forever ago! And playing with myself all day long......"

"The house will feel quiet without all the little chimes from your stream donations and you moaning like a proper porn star as you masturbate four hours on end for all those fans of yours. It will be kind of nice not needing to clean off all those tarps you line your floor with to catch your orgasms. Never seen a girl squirt so much in my life, over and over, you absolutely drench your room, and yourself...."

Amanda giggled. "What can I say? I'm a very talented girl, Daddy... So! Any estimation how long I'll last?"

"That womb of yours is like Fort Knox, you carried octuplets to ten months a couple years ago. I say you'll make it to nine months!"

"Daddy, are you crazy? I've got like thirty kids in my womb, I'm only two and a half months or so along....."

"I meant what I said. Your belly'll have no trouble getting twice the size of a yoga ball before you finally burst! I have faith in you, darling. If you're good at one thing.... other than coming like a geyser a dozen times in a row, it's carrying a school bus of kids in that womb of yours."

"OK, I'll mark you down for nine months on the dot! Mom only guessed seven and a half..... My oh-so-supportive brother only guessed six."

"He's out of his mind as usual! I know you're gonna last at least to eight months, you'll see. Mark my words!"

"I hope you're right." Amanda rubbed her belly. "I wouldn't want to disappoint Erica...."

"That sister of yours is already obsessed with pushing out as many kids as she can. She really looks up to you, you know?"

"And she looks amazing carrying quints! Can't believe she's already nineteen.... Time flies...."

"But you're twenty-five so you might as well blow up like a big balloon?"

"Exactly! I think this is the perfect send off for me, I love breeding and pumping out dozens of kids, but I just love putting on a show, knowing as many people as possible are getting their rocks off to me."

"That's my girl. And wow, think this is the longest I've seen you go without making that pussy cum like a fire hydrant in years. I better not keep you much longer, wouldn't want you to have an accident--I see you rubbing those chubby thighs together, baby!"

"Is it that obvious? Mmmm, well how about you join me? My fans love it when you guys join in, especially you, daddy. Who doesn't love seeing a hugely pregnant girl with giant udders like these getting fucked by her daddy? Plus, all those donations we make together might just go to you anyway...."

"You know, you've got a point, darling."

[twst-hottest-takes]

Tweel Anatomy discussion!

Part 1.

(Ask and ye shall recieve! This will be split up into a couple of parts because this could get long and it's easy enough to break up into pieces. [I definitely wasn't putting this off until the cards officially released.])

For starters I have to say again that I just love the twins and their merforms are so cool. I just want an excuse to gush about them. A lot of this discussiom will involve headcanons and hypotheticals and estimations, so there is your warning to not take anything in this post as law. This post, like pretty much all the others is very opinionated. Some of the fun bits about contemplating the anatomy of a fantasy creature involves drawing the imaginary lines between where the fish parts end and the human parts begin, and where the two become a blur and turn into something completely new. I like to think I strike a balance with my hypotheses, but perhaps others might not feel the same way. This is a post meant to start a discussion, not a fight. So let's see how far down the rabbit hole we can go . . .

Starting with a classic: How big are these guys?

Let's answer Ace's question. (While laughing like middle-schoolers about how that question was phrased.)

Now there is no canon answer to my knowledge so I can only give my best estimation. (Corrections welcome!) I firmly believe that they do not change "size" between their land and sea forms. For all intents and purposes, the twins are being treated as though their heads, arms, torsoes, and pelvic regions are the same size between human and merforms.

BECAUSE EVEN WITHOUT CHANGING SIZE THESE GUYS ARE ABSOLUTE MONSTERS IN THEIR MERFORMS.

I have no real proof of my theory. I simply compared the sprites and scaled the chibis until they had the same head size. Forgive me for not having a better method of measurement. I am not going to try and unravel the live 2D mermodels and I think trying to measure their shadows from their intro scene would be even less reliable. The length of the tail is approximately 75% the length of the rest of the body after where his feet theoretically end.

I didn't do the same with Floyd because I feel that it's safe to assume that he's probably a few cm longer (3-5 cm max) due to his 1 cm height difference when they are in human form. I hazard a guess that only the two of them actually care about that difference in length.

332 cm. (Or around 11 ft for those of us stateside.)

We know they're huge, but tying a number to the length REALLY puts things into perspective. Like it's actually a little scary.

Next: Gill placement.

I am a big fan of the gill slits being around the ribs! Not only do they look cool, but I like that it can be read as a combination of human and eel anatomy in their merforms.

Since they have a humanoid chest cavity, it makes sense that even though they don't have lungs, they may have a muscular structure similar to a diaphragm. By having a muscular system that works passively/sympathetically they could have a "breathing" motion similar to humans; but, instead of taking air in, it simply keeps water moving across the gills to maintain gas exchange.

Benefits of this system include: Being able to sleep (as I would assume merfolk do), and being able to stay in one place (most fish need to be moving constantly to keep their gills working). The ability to be stationary isn't necessary for fish, but for merfolk who have social conventions, even being able to sit still to have a conversation is a boon (unless the world of mermen is built around the idea that no one ever sits still, but I feel like the photograph from Book 3 proves otherwise).

Furthermore, having the gills on the ribs as opposed to somewhere farther up--for example, on the neck--the twins can reasonably stick their heads out of the water without fear of limiting their breathing ability. Though these new card illustrations show that they don't seem to have any problem with having their gills exposed to the air (at least as far as being photogenic is concerned), I can see it being convenient for merfolk to be able to poke their head and shoulders above the water and still be able to breath regularly (which definitely doesn't have anything to do with luring unwary travelers to their deaths. . .nope. . .not at all).

I have seen people say they don't like the choice and that the gills should be on their necks. If that's coming from a place of personal preference and is purely aesthetic I guess I can see it. But if anyone tries to tell me that it's not "eel-like" enough and they need to have the gills closer to the mouth, I will fight you. From a design and functionality standpoint the rib gills are fantastic!

For the last bit of this entry, let's talk about the elephant in the room: THE EEL ABS!

I'd say "don't get me started on this one" but I'm already here and we're already too deep in, so here we go.

Things are about to get spicy!

~They're fine.

Like, as a choice, the inclusion of these muscles is likely just for fanservice points, but it's not an anatomically strange thing.

Come here and I will explain to you a thing:

MERFOLK DO NOT SWIM WITH THE SAME MUSCLE GROUPS AS HUMANS DO!

Once upon a time, (this is going somewhere, just stick with me!) people complained that Ariel, the Little Mermaid herself, was too skinny and not built like a swimmer. People insisted that she not have such a tiny waist and her arms should be bigger. Now I, here and now, should not have to tell the reader why this is so ridiculous to say, but I'm going to anyway~ ARIEL DOES NOT USE HER ARMS TO SWIM! Those who have watched the movie may have observed that she swims like an aquatic mammal. All of her momentum comes from the verticle motion of her tail, and to some extent her abdomen, not her arms. When she turns human, Ariel does not even know how she can use her arms to help her swim upwards and out of the ocean. She struggled without her tail so much Sebastian and Flounder basically carried her to the surface.

In this way, merfolk do not need to have the same type of body as a human swimmer because they are functionally different and some people seem to get stuck on that.

Now returning to Jade and Floyd, again, their arms are not "built like a swimmer's." Once again THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE. There is nothing in all of Twisted Wonderland that suggests they swim with their arms at all. These boys have 5 foot long tails that are probably primarily muscle to propel themselves through the water. The arms are not for propulsion. The tails do the grand majority of the work, but this conversation was started about abdominal muscles so we'll circle back to that now. Unlike other merfolk (as exemplified by Ariel) who swim with verticle motions of their tails, eel-based mermen would swim by making horizontal motions, also primarily with their tails. I do say primarily because the idea occurs to me that there may be situations where the limits of their ability to move might be tested. If a merman built like this wanted to go significantly faster than whatever is "normal" for them, muscle groups higher in the body would get used. Essentially, given Jade and Floyd as characters, I don't find it hard to believe that, at the speeds they swim, they would be using their very human-shaped abdomens to increase their speed. That's a workout, especially for the obliques.

So, in conclusion, I don't think the abs are weird. Gratuitous? Absolutely. But they aren't the anatomical monstrosity some people seem to think they are.

Let me say once more, if you simply don't like how it looks, or the fish abs squick you out and you like to headcanon they don't exist--that's fine. But don't argue with me on the basis that it's not realistic. Mermaids are, after all, fictional creatures and depictions of them tend to be fanciful. The tough conversation comes about when we choose to draw the lines with how realistic we actually want them to be, HENCE THIS ENTIRE POST!

(Laughs like a maniac before signing off.)

Thank you for coming to the first part of my rambling. What should I talk about in the next part?

Other than the throat teeth. We've got a miniature essay about the throat teeth just about ready to go.

Also, apologies if there aren't enough visual guides. I really wanted to get this posted, so if anyone wants me to I can doodle up some more stuff to help with things like the image of the breathing aparatus and swimming motions. I have just not had much time this week.

(Going to fall asleep thinking about how sparkly these boys are.)

[arminreindl]

Fossil Crocs of 2023

2023 has been a year with its ups and downs, but one consistent thing has been its fossil crocs at least, giving us another interesting variety of species and genera not known before. Like last year, I'll go down each of them (including phytosaurs) and give you some key notes. And since I've done my best to make individual posts for them I'll link those when available. I'll also try to give translations where possible, but do note that sometimes I might switch around a word due to it just sounding awkward otherwise.

Scolotosuchus

Starting us off is Scolotosuchus basileus ("royal scythian crocodile"), a basal, rauisuchian-like animal from the early stages of the Triassic. An animal roughly 3 meters long, it is primarily known from vertebrae and some other material, which however does have interesting implications. Based on the anatomy of the vertebrae, it has been speculated that Scolotosuchus performed a lot of rapid movement of the neck, presumably while hunting. Furthermore, it might be that Scolotosuchus lacked osteoderms, instead having developed a bracing system for its body much more like that of dinosaurs and mammals. Artwork by @knuppitalism-with-ue (he'll pop up quite a lot)

Colossosuchus

Fast forward to the Late Triassic, the hayday of early Pseudosuchians, and we find our first phytosaur of the list. Colossosuchus techniensis ("colossal crocodile of the Indian Institute of Technology") was an enormous animal from India's Tiki Formation. This one is known from undisputably better material, perhaps some of the best on this list as we have an entire bone bed of these guys, possibly representing a mass death site. Size estimates of the large specimens generally range from 6 to 9 meters in length, also making it the largest animal of this list, with the authors favoring an estimated 8 meters for the largest individual. Of course this is all subject to change, as we don't know the precise proportions (the downside of a bone bed is that all the bones are kinda jumbled together and god knows what belongs to what). Artwork by Joschua Knüppe again, a female being courted by an overconfident and confused Volcanosuchus (told you so)

Kryphioparma

Ok I won't bother you with this one too much. Kryphioparma caerula ("blue mysterious shield") is an aetosaur from the Late Triassic Chinle Formation of Arizona. Now aetosaurs are cool of course, but the thing is that Kryphioparma is known from exclusively osteoderms, their large armour plates. While thats valid, its also not really exciting (as you could have guessed from the absolute lack of artwork). Best I can say is that it coexisted with a bunch of other aetosaurs, which surely would have been a sight to see back in the day.

Venkatasuchus

Now Venkatasuchus armatum ("Venkata's armoured crocodile") is in a similar boat. This Indian aetosaur too is only known from osteoderms, tho at least a lot more of them that were found together, meaning we got a much better idea of its shape. There are some interesting implications it has on paleogeography and how different animal groups spread across Pangea, but that's probably beyond the scope of this post. There is at least some art of it tho, including one piece by Joschua featuring Jaklapallisaurus, an early sauropodomorph.

Mystriosuchus alleroq

Now we got our first new species of a preexisting genus. While I did my best to make posts on new genera, which typically went hand in hand with their respective wikipedia pages, species are a different matter since they'd require me to overhaul and research the whole genus. Which for Mystriosuchus would go all the way back to 1896.

Anyhow, Mystriosuchus alleroq ("jawbone spoon crocodile") is the newest in a long line of Mystriosuchus species and has been recovered from western Greenland of all places. Like Colossosuchus it is known from multiple individuals, at least four in fact, And like Venkatasuchus, it appears to have wideraning implications for the spread of archosaurs during the Triassic. Oh look its Josch's art again, neat.

Jupijkam

The final phytosaur and the final Triassic taxon of the year, Jupijkam paleofluvialis ("horned serpent of ancient rivers") was recovered from Nova Scotia Canada and represents one of the northernmost phytosaurs (alongside obviously our friend Mystriosuchus alleroq above). It is far less complete than the other phytosaurs I covered so far, but still nothing to scoff at. It's also one of the youngest known phytosaurs, possibly having lived during the last stage of the Triassic. There's no art but here's an image of its snout from the original paper.

Turnersuchus

And with this we have reached the Jurassic and somewhat of a double feature. Ordering these via chronology makes this almost like storytelling. Turnersuchus hingleyae ("Hingley's and Turner's crocodile") is the oldest and basalmost named thalattosuchian, a group of crocodylomorphs that took to the seas. As such it shows a mosaic of features, already having begun to reduce its limbs, having a moderately long snout and still bearing osteoderms, which some of its descendents would come to lose. Turnersuchus dates to the Pliensbachian, a stage of the early Jurassic, tho the paper mentions how its not likely to hold its title as oldest member of its group for long as even older material has been discovered and is awaiting publication. Artwork by Júlia d’Oliveira and Joschua Knüppe

Torvoneustes jurensis

While Turnersuchus gives us a glimpse at what the earliest thalattosuchians were like, Torvoneustes jurensis ("savage swimmer of the Jura Mountains") represents them at one of their most derived. At 4 meters long, it must have been an impressive creature, entirely smooth and lacking osteoderms, highly reduced arms and a tail fluke to boot. There are some interesting features, as unlike other species of Torvoneustes, this one does not appear to have been as durophagous, instead appearing to be more of a generalist. It's the last Jurassic croc of the year and practically lived at the opposite end of this time period relative to our previous thalattosuchian, during the Kimmeridgian. Artwork by Sophie De Sousa Oliveira, not to be confused with Jùlia who drew Turnersuchus.

Comahuesuchus bonapartei

From marine to terrestrial, Comahuesuchus bonapartei is a member of the Notosuchia, land-dwelling cousins to the Neosuchia. This new species is known from the Cretaceous of Argentina and was described on the basis of a lower jaw, which differs from the previously described species of Comahuesuchus by the fact that the teeth are situated in individual sockets. Its jaws were short and wide, being described as U-shaped, giving it a somewhat pug-nosed appearance. In case you're wondering why I don't have the translation of the name thats because I can't access Bonaparte's first paper, so all I can say is that the new species is named after famed Argentinian paleontologist Jóse Fernando Bonaparte. Artwork by I mean you probably guessed it, its Josch again.

Aphaurosuchus kaiju

I have some mixed feelings on Aphaurosuchus kaiju ("powerless kaiju crocodile"), not just because I have to rewrite its genus wikipedia page that I am no longer happy with. No, Aphaurosuchus is a great genus in my opinion, given the complete nature of the holotype. But I do think that the species name of this second form is a bit of an exaggeration, seeing as it is to my knowledge not that exceptionally big. So why name it kaiju other than to sound cool? I also think it just kinda becoms funny when you consider the meaning of the genus name. Anyhow, it does look pretty mean, but thats to be expected from a baurusuchid. It lived during the Late Cretaceous in Brazil and the phylogenetic analysis that accompanied its description had some interesting implications that I'm curious to see tackled in the future. Other than that it's just another baurusuchid from a place crawling with baurusuchids, which tbh is pretty cool itself but doesn't really help make it stand out. Arwork by Paula Zeinner

Dentaneosuchus

It is the middle Eocene. France is entirely occupied by mammals. Well, not entirely... One indomitable reptile still holds out against the invaders. Yes, I am of course talking about Dentaneosuchus ("frightfull crocodile"), the titan of the Eocene, the terror of the jungle. Easily among the most exciting finds, this animal was an enormous sebecid previously thought to be a member of the genus Iberosuchus, but recent research not only shows its distinct but enormous. With a lower jaw around 90 cm long, it rivals even the famed Barinasuchus of Miocene South America. The total body lenght is of course a matter of debate given how little we know about sebecid proportions, with the paper lowballing it at 3 to 4 meters and I personally recovering something more akin to 5 meters. Regardless of the specifics, this would make it easily one of the top predators of its time, tho sadly this was not meant to last. It was among the last non-mammalian apex predators of Europe, before climate change and competition from mammals eventually drove them to extinction. Arwork by Joschua Knüppe and @mariolanzas

Baru iylwenpeny

Our last three entries were all members of the Notosuchia, the terrestrial crocodiles that existed from the Jurassic to the Miocene, so lets jump to the other major group of the time, the Neosuchians, specifically their most recent branch, the Crocodilians. Yes finally we are getting to crocs in the stricter sense.

Baru iylwenpeny ("divine crocodile thats good at hunting") is an animal we also knew for a while under the informal name Alcoota Baru based on where it was found. This year I spent a lot of time writing in the Mekosuchinae, Australasian crocodiles of the Cenozoic and just when I had finished the page for Baru, this guy got published. It's the largest, most robust and most recent member of the genus. Good at hunting is a good choice for the species name, as this animal was over 4 meters long with a head commonly likened to a cleaver and a hunting style speculated to consist of inflicting a lot of trauma on its prey with its massive teeth. I could gush about Baru for ages, but thats the important parts. It lived in central Australia during the Miocene only 8 million years ago. Artwork by the incredible @manusuchus

Antecrocodylus

Now for the last crocodilian described this year and one I remised to make a dedicated post for due to time constraints (I had a busy few months). Antecrocodylus chiangmuanensis ("before Crocodylus from Chiang Muan") is a close relative of the modern dwarf and true crocodiles from the Miocene of Thailand. It is only known from the back of the skull and an associated lower jaw, but it serves to highlight how little we know about the crocodiless of eastern Asia during the Miocene, which is a shame given that this region is crucial to deciphering where true crocodiles originated.

Alligator munensis

And our final taxon is Alligator munensis ("Mun river alligator"), which, obviously, is a member of the modern genus Alligator and thus most closely related to the still extant Chinese and American Alligator. Likely having been split from its Chinese relatives when the Tibetan plateau was lifted up, this species lived during the middle Pleistocene in Thailand and may have survived until the Holocene. It's head was short and robust and its teeth globular, which could indicate that it fed on hard-shelled prey like clams and snails. It was also small, likely not much bigger than 1.5 meters. Artwork by Joschua Knüppe

And that should be all of them, all new species and genera of Pseudosuchians described this past year. It's once again been fun to look back and I hope that you find them just as interesting as I do. Lets hope that 2024 will bring equally fascinating discoveries.

[alpaca-clouds]

Trying to figure out Gortash's backstory

As I said before, I am right now very much inspired to write a redemption story for Gortash. Like post-canon, Gortash lives AU (because I still hate that he dies), and he actually gets a chance to redeem himself. Not only like: He turns good, but he actually does something good enough to be considered a redemption. And he does so without dying.

But... Yeah, that story is going to be from Gortash's POV, which means that I very much need to come up with some fillings for the big ass holes that the game leaves in terms of his backstory.

We don't know how old he is, but I would estimate him to be around his late 30s or early 40s. Which means we kinda have like 20 years to fill up.

While the entire timeline of Raphael "buying" him from his parents and him escaping the hell is very vague, he was probably somewhere between 18 and 20 when he got out of the hells. And the exact stuff what happened in between is vague. Even how he escaped the hells is not quite clear. I mean, was Helsink responsible for that? Or how did he get out?

And then he starts to do illegal weapons trading once he is back in Baldur's Gate. Which is fair. I am going to assume that he is actually going to throw some stuff in there that is of his own making, given that he clearly is a tinkerer.

Given Karlach is 30, I do not think he hired her before she was 15, so at max she has worked for him just a couple of years.

I mean, technically those details don't matter. What does matter however is: How does he become a Chosen of Bane, and how does he get into contact with the Dark Urge?

As quite a few people have pointed out: Technically the Dark Urge existing is very confusing given that they have been created by Bhaal and Bhaal was dead for about a hundred years until ten years ago. So unless Durge is ten years old, this does not fully make sense. Sure, technically speaking Durge could be immortal, I guess, but... Well.

See, the issue I see with Gortash is, that I just do not pick him as the religious type. I do not see him going to the Banite church and actually give enough fucks to make himself a name in the church and after some great show of faith getting the status of chosen. I mean, if you talk to him, he just... Ketheric is devoted to Myrkul, sure. And Orin was indoctrinated into the Bhaalist cult from her birth onward. But Gortash? He would follow nearly every god if that god gave him powers. At least that is my reading of him. Sure, the entire tyrant thing plays well with his pompous and kinda narcissistic personality (and I mean this in a neutral way - given how he grew up narcissism in a medical sense is to be expected), but... Like, had Oghma thrown him a boon, he would have served Oghma, right?

So, why is he a chosen?

Usually chosen are either one of two: Either, they are very dedicated to the god and have proofen themselves to them over and over again, or they have something (power, knowledge, influence) that the god is interested in. As I don't see Gortash falling underneath the first umbrella, the second one could be it. Was Bane interested in Gortash maybe, because Gortash had a lot of knowledge about the hells maybe? Was Bane originally interested in the crown or something else that Gortash knew about? That would be one possibility.

Though, there is another one. Because it just so happens that in the lore of Faerûn something happened just 8 years ago, that could have given him chosen status without him doing shit for it. Even though it would also mean, that him being a chosen is almost random. Because 8 years ago the second sundering happened. And during the second sundering for a variety of reasons the gods picked quite a lot of chosen. And yes, that included the Dead Three as well. And a lot of those chosen were in fact not people super dedicated to the gods or anything, but just people who generally aligned with the domain and alignment of the god in question. And I cannot help but wonder: Was Gortash just one of the chosen Bane got from that event?

It would work out fine. Because there is one thing that keeps bothering me: Sure, Gortash kept secrets from Karlach. But she still was his personal bodyguard. And she had no idea that he was aligned with Bane. Which makes me think that indeed he was not a Banite when he sold her off to Zariel.

And yeah, I cannot help myself. The timeline would work out rather well: Gortash becomes a chosen closely prior the events of the second sundering, but after he sold of Karlach. After a bit the Dark Urge (who somehow very much is an adult, because I guess he time travelled or something) finds him. The two hit it off (whether romantically or platonically) and come up with their grand evil scheme. At some point Ketheric joins.

Of course, there is one big hole in that explaination, though: Who are the other people working for Gortash while he just is a black market weapons trader? If he was a Banite it would be easily explainable (other Banites), but like this it leaves open the question: Who are they and what happened to them?

I don't know. I am rambling. But yeah. I like this asshole. And his story is fun to think about.

[hsr-texts]

find your cinderella

꒰‧₊˚✩彡‧꒱ ┊ ━━━━ prologue

꒰⸝⸝₊ʚ♡ɞ ┊ streamer!reader x mystery hsr character ꒱

꒰⸝⸝₊ʚ♡ɞ ┊ otome event ꒱

꒰ ☰ WORD COUNT ┊1.4k ꒱

꒰ ☰ DESCRIPTION ┊ ━━ When you do an unboxing livestream for your subsribers, you find an invite to an exclusive event called the "Find Your Cinderella" masquerade gala where you are guaranteed to find your supposed true love, as a rather enthusiastic manager told you. ꒱

꒰ ☰ NOTES ┊HIII omg you guys THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!! Getting 1k followers is so crazy for me because I've never had a blog be received with this much love and support before so I've decided to make an extra special otome game style fanfic! ꒱

“Guys, look! The package just came in!”

You rushed into your studio, holding a sizable metal box. Inscribed on the sides was a logo of two masks, resembling a certain Aeon. Placing it down on the floor, you gave a sigh of relief. “Aeons, that was heavy!”

Your eyes glanced at the live chat and saw all the messages, curious about the package.

“Seems like you guys are more excited than I am,” You couldn’t help a small chuckle leaving your lips. “It took me quite a lot to get a hold of this limited edition package from LumiPro. Like, do you guys know how much it cost?”

A few comments popped up trying to guess the price.

You shook your head. “100,000 credits.”

The chat then flooded with shocked emotes and comments. It was more than a fair reaction. You found yourself silently thanking the stars that your current occupation as a streamer granted you a steady income. Otherwise, you probably would’ve had to eat the same type of cup noodles for months.

“Anyway!” You clasped your hands together. “Let’s open it up already! I’m dying to see what’s inside. What could possibly warrant such a steep price?”

Your index finger pressed on the button at the top and heard a voice.

“Vocal identification. Please state your name.”

You uttered your name. It was a good thing you added an auto-censor to your setup so that any sensitive information that could get you doxxed would be redacted in the stream. You didn’t want stalkers showing up at your home after all.

“Permission granted.”

Faint clicks of metal against metal could be heard as the mechanisms worked to unlock the box. A hissing noise came from it as the lid opened. You watched, feeling anticipation and eagerness bubble within your chest.

A hologram was projected from the box, showing a person wearing professional attire. They smiled.

“Thank you for purchasing from Luminous Productions. We’ve curated a package that we believe would be of most use to you. For further questions, you may contact support on our site. We hope you enjoy it to the fullest.”

You took a peek and gasped at the sight. “Guys, oh my god, they just gave me a new PC!”

They must’ve done their research because you did mention in your stream a month ago that you were looking for a better PC.

The chat seemed to be as excited as you were, knowing this meant you’d be able to go back to your regular streaming schedule.

You could tell this was a real high end PC after seeing the graphics card and CPU model. Not only that, but it came with a new headset, keyboard, and mouse. You took out the stuff and gently placed them on the floor, letting the viewers see it.

After noticing that there was more in the package, you rummaged around for the other objects. Your hand made contact with some sort of fabric so you pulled it out.

Your eyes widened as you realised that it was a fancy outfit. Upon looking, you could estimate that it was your size too. Was this tailor made?

“Holy shit…”

It seemed like it was for a real special occasion, not even just your run-of-the-mill party that regular people go to. This outfit would probably fit right in with a red carpet event for rich folks or celebrities. Well— One may say, “Hey, aren’t you a celebrity too?” but you weren’t cocky enough to claim the same status as those with inter-galactic levels of fame.

A slip of paper fell out of the outfit’s pocket and you turned to see what it was.

You squinted in confusion. A ticket…? After picking up, you couldn’t help but notice the holographic shine to it first. How pretty.

“Find Your Cinderella Masquerade Event?” You mumbled in confusion. Who was Sugo? You couldn’t recall knowing anyone that went by that name.

Suddenly, the screen flickered for a moment and a new window popped up next to your stream.

A person showed up, wearing what you could only describe as a pink clown outfit that somehow combines cuteness and gaudiness in one. They grinned at you with amusement.

“Heya to all those viewers watching at home!” Even the way they spoke seemed to have a theatrical ring to it. By the way the chat was going insane, the people watching the stream could also see them.

“My name is Sugo and I’m the event organiser of the Find Your Cinderella Gala, or the FYC Gala for short,” they introduced themselves with a flourish. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Uh… hi?” You didn’t know how to respond. This was quite a bizarre experience to have someone hijack your stream to introduce themselves. Was this legal…?

They chuckled. “Yeah, sorry for the sudden appearance but I figured that it would shake things up a little. I’m sure your dear fans appreciate having two exciting things happening at the same time. You can bet that this’ll go viral too~”

“Right… So what exactly is this Find Your Cinderella Gala?”

“Glad you asked, dear anomaly!” They beamed. Eh? Why were they calling you anomaly?

“See, I’m doing a collaborative project with LumiPro. I proposed to them a large-scale event with celebrities from all over the galaxy, which would be broadcast to every streaming platform out there. The premise is simple, all attendees are there to find their one and only, their true love, their Cinderella, you get the idea.”

“So it’s a speed dating event for rich people?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It sounded like a stupid idea. And yet, a part of you was intrigued.

“Right on the money! What a clever streamer, it’s no wonder you got such high compatibility ratings with the other attendees~”

“A what?”

Their eyes gleamed with amusement. “So, we didn’t just pick the celebrities at random. I bet you’re wondering why a small time streamer is getting an invite to such an exclusive event, right?” They tilted their head, leaning on their desk.

You nodded slowly. It was still a mystery to you why you’d be invited when there are far more famous people in the galaxy.

“Behind the scenes, we’ve been developing an advanced algorithm that can find your best match in a group. How it works is that we pick a participant, feed it available information on said participant, then it calculates how well the person would get along with those within the group,” they explained, “What’s interesting for your case is that your average compatibility score with the group is 90%. Most folks that got tested only came up with a 60% average compatibility rating.”

You raised an eyebrow at this in skepticism. “Don’t you think that’s just a bug or something?”

They shrugged. “It could be, but we’ve done several tests and it always came out the same. We were hoping to add you in to act as an outlier to our pool of data.”

“So I’m just a guinea pig for your weird little experiment?” You gave them an unamused look.

“It’s just to see if your results were really true or if it was just a mistake on the algorithm’s part.” They shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be a fun time for you regardless of my motives. A win win for all parties involved, don’t you just love that kind of thing?”

“I guess but doesn’t this come with strings attached?”

Sugo whined. “Ughhh, you’re gonna make this way less fun if you go in already knowing what you’re getting!”

“What kind of sane person would do something without knowing the full details?!”

A groan came from them. “Booo, that’s so boring! Life needs a special surprise factor that keeps things fun and interesting.”

They sighed after. “But fine. If you’re so skeptical, then I can throw in a 500,000 credit compensation if you end up not enjoying it. So even if you do lose, you still gain something!”

You stayed silent, trying to figure out if this was really worth the trouble of dressing up and going to a party.

“Anyway, that’s all the information I’m contractually allowed to give out. It’s your choice whether you want to go or not.”

“Can I have some time to decide this?” You asked them.

Sugo nodded, smiling in amusement. “Of course! It’s not good for a show to spend too much time on exposition, after all. Let’s give the player some time to shine, hm?”

“I have no idea what you’re saying.”

They giggled, ignoring what you said. “Bye bye! I’ll see you at the gala!”

Their window disappeared, leaving you with your viewers again.

You sighed. What a strange person. Did you really wanna go? It’s not like you had much to lose. Plus, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to find out what that compatibility rating was all about.

“What do you think, chat? Should I go?” You turned to the screen, waiting for their input.

[kimbappykidding]

Hot things about Exo that drive you crazy

Xiumin - How he handles people who under-estimate him

Your boyfriend was the king of surprising people. He had a youthful face but was nearly 33. He was chill and quiet but a world-famous kpop idol. He looked sweet and innocent but was cheeky and incredibly powerful...which one jackass found out.

You and Xiumin went to the gym together often because he didn't always have a lot of free time and every minute counted. Lately, a new guy had started coming to your gym and he was so annoying. He'd take up more space than necessary, thought he knew better than anyone and always liked to give the female gym goers in particular tips about what they were doing wrong. Xiumin hadn't seen him before as he'd been touring recently but you pointed him out to him the second you walked in together. Xiumin kept an eye on him but had no problems...until the guy appeared at his machine and started watching him. Xiumin could tell the guy had something to say but purposefully ignored him, not wanting to give him any attention...however that didn't stop him.

"Are you are you should be using this machine?" the guy asked and Xiumin looked at him "what makes you ask that?". "Just it's for proper body bulders not softer guys". Xiumin bit back his comment and smiled "I'm fine thanks" but the guys didn't let it go. "No but if you hurt yourself I'm the one who will have to save you". "Is there an issue here?" you asked coming over and Xiumin shook his head "don't worry it's all good" and put some more weights on his machine. "Come on little guy, you don't want to load too much on just to try and look good in front of a girl" the man said. Xiumin looked at you and nodded "you're right I do want to look good in front of her" and he put more on. The guy kept telling Xiumin he wouldn't be able to do it all the way up until Xiumin lifted the bar effortlessly above his head. The man's jaw dropped as he did 15 perfect reps and then set the bar down. "Hey Y/n can you hold my jumper?" he called taking it off and revealing his huge arms. "Sure thing babe" you called back and smirked as the guy's jaw dropped again.

He watched Xiumin do 30 more sets, just to be sure of course, and then interrupted. "Hey I'm so sorry, you just look so cute and tiny. I never thought you'd be able to lift that or have a girl like that" he admitted. Xiumin laughed "hey it's cool man, I mean it's not like you can control your thought rights?". "Yeah exactly!" the guy said but Xiumin shook his head "wrong. You can control your thoughts with enough will power and now I know what's going on in that head if I ever see you looking at my girlfriend again I'll show you just how not cute I am". "Hey there's no need to get testy" the guy said but Xiumin wasn't done. "Actually there is, let's say you are too weak-brained to control your thoughts that doesn't mean you say them out loud. You keep them to yourself instead of forcing all of us to listen to you. You seem to think we all want to hear you but we don't!" Xiumin said "so why don't you do everyone here a favour and find another gym huh?". The guy saw a member of staff just watching and looked at him "are you going to let me talk to him like that?". The member of staff remembered how just earlier today the man had knocked over a row of yoga blocks without picking them up, never rolled up his mat and ignored all the signs asking gymgoers to tidy up after themselves. "Yeah I am" he replied and the guy stormed out.  

You rushed over to Xiumin and hugged him. Xiumin assured you he was okay but that wasn't why you were wrapped around him.  "Okay that was hot" you whispered in Xiumin's ear and you felt his tension go from anger to something else. "It was?" he asked and you nodded "Incredibly hot, I love it when you tell assholes off. It always puts me in the mood...but you have another 30 minutes of your workout regime to do so guess I'll just have to wait" you said sighing dramatically and went to move away before Xiumin caught your hand "I think I can cut it short today". "Really?" you asked "but I know how important getting a good workout is for you". "Yeah well don't worry, I'll be getting a good workout, we both will" and you couldn't even pretend to fight it anymore.

So the two of you left hand in hand with huge smiles on your faces. Very keen to get home and start the home workout you had planned.  

Suho - How he doesn't care what people think

Suho would do anything for you and you meant anything. He did not care what the task was or how it made him look, if you wanted it, he'd do it. Once when your dog lost her toy in a fountain Suho just dove right in and retrreied it for her. He didn't care he was wearing expensive clothing or surrounded by people all watching him. You needed something and he got it. Then another time he got photographed while on a tampon run for you. You worried he'd be mad but he couldn't have cared less and when you pressed him on it he simply said "why would I care about what people other than you, my family and the guys think?" and you felt like the most special person in the world to be included in that group.

You still had no idea how far Suho was willing to go for you though until one night...

You and Suho were at a nice fancy restaurant for your 2 years anniversary and everything was going great...until you realised there had been some food on your chair before you sat down. It was brown-coloured too and had a strong resemblance to something you really didn't want on the back of your dress. Of course, you noticed right after you'd paid and were about to leave the restaurant. Neither you nor Suho had jackets because it was summer and to get to the exit you had to pass rows and rows of tables all pointed at you. You knew a few people here too and really didn't want them seeing you like this. Suho suggested shielding you with his body as you walked but you knew that would look so odd. Suho could see you were getting really stressed and came up with a solution.

"Okay here are the car keys, wait for my signal and go" he told and he hurried off before you could ask what the signal was. So you sat wondering what on earth to go when you heard an almighty crash. You, and everyone in the restaurant, turned and you gasped to see Suho covered in some spaghetti and red sauce, surrounded by a ton of broken plates and a very pink waiter. The waiter was apologising profoundly while Suho told them it was okay. You were staring in shock before Suho saw you and motioned to the door. "It's fine really!" Suho said and pretended to slip on some sauce and fall back into the trolley, spilling more food. You couldn't believe Suho would go this far for you and hurried from the restaurant. Nobody even batted an eyelid at you and you made it to the car still in shock.

10 minutes later Suho appeared wearing a t-shirt and shorts that weren't his with a white bag which you assumed contained his clothes. He got in and sighed "phew I'm ready for home!". "I'll say" you replied "what was that?". "What was what?" he asked before nodding "oh that? Well you needed a distraction and I was more than happy to give it". "But you hate breaking social conventions and embarrassing people". "Yeah but I hate you being upset more" he replied and you blinked. Suho the most polite, kind soul in the world would cause a scene in a nice restaurant just so you didn't feel bad.

You kissed him and Suho blinked "what was that for?". "For doing that for me, it was really sweet and I honestly very hot. Not a lot of guys would be willing to utterly embarrass themselves for their girl". "Well I'll always do it for you" Suho said and he leaned in to kiss you again before wincing as his arm brushed the seat. "Suho what's wrong?" you asked looking at his arm before gasping when you saw a cut.  "Your poor arm!" you cried inspecting it and Suho shook his head "it's fine..." but you weren't having it. "No it's not! We're getting you home where I can clean your arm and then we're taking a shower" you said putting the car into gear. Suho nodded happily before one thing stood out to him "you said we're taking a shower". You nodded "that kiss got cut off a bit prematurely right? Figured we could make up for it in the shower if you wanted?". Suho sat up straighter and nodded "yep! And feel free to skip any red lights you want to get home". You laughed shaking your head "slow down, what's the rush. I said you'd get a reward and you will, just sit back and relax". Suho looked at you with a smile and did as you said.

You'd never seen him tenser in your life...but you more than made up for it.

Lay - His innocent face when he's doing something bad.

Lay had a very chilled personality and a very beautiful innocent face to match...but Lay was far from innocent and he caused a lot of trouble for you with that combination.

Lay loved to tease you, especially when other people were around. His favourite trick was to rest his hand on your thigh or lower back when you were talking to someone. He'd tap his fingers against your skin or rub circles and just drive you crazy. He'd always shoot you an innocent confused look when you stared at him but you knew he knew what he was doing and that made him even hotter.

As he got more confident he started doing it around his members. You were eating with Exo one night when you noticed Lay watching you. You weren't sure why until you felt someone's foot budging yours. You soon realised it was Lays as he was sat across from you and kicked it away playfully but it just came back and started making it's way up your leg. Your eyes widened and you stared at Lay sure he wouldn't be doing something like this but he just smiled slightly and carried on eating like nothing was happening. Then when his leg got to a certain height you couldn't take it. You jumped, kicking the table and nearly gave Baekhyun a heart attack as he fumbled with his drink. "Jesus Y/n don't do that!" Baekhyun said and you gasped "I'm sorry!". "What's wrong?" D.O. asked and you shook your head "nothing my leg just fell asleep" and Baekhyun shook his head at you but Lay was softly smirking.

After that you decided to pout and not speak to him but when you all moved to the living room to watch a movie Lay actually got Sehun to swap seats so he could sit next to you. When you still didn't respond to him he hovered over your shoulder "are you mad at me?" he asked softly and you nodded "yes". "But I didn't do anything wrong" he said shaking a hand around the back of you where the boys couldn't see. "Yes you did" you sayd and elbowed his hand away. Lay sat back but wasn't done that easily. He could see how tense you were and knew you wanted him.

So he waited for the movie to start and then asked Suho for a blanket which he spread over the two of you. Lay had purposefully left his hands out so that when he touched you, his hands were cold making you jump. The guys noticed you move and Baekhyun laughed "leg fell asleep again?". "Something like that" you nodded and put your hand over Lay's to stop him from moving it. All he did instead was move closer to you, pulling you onto his knee. You tried to ignore the feeling of him pressed up behind you and focus on the movie but it was so difficult. You released Lay's arms and he wrapped them around you burying his head in your neck. "Lay!" you whispered and he looked at you "what? The movie's scary Y/n and you're my comfort person" and buried his head kissing your neck. You were torn between wanting Lay to continue and not wanting the guys to see anything.

Finally, 30 minutes later Kai paused the film for a bathroom break and you sprang up to go get a drink from the kitchen. Lay of course followed you and you ambushed him as soon as he walked through the door. You pushed him against the door and kissed him hard. You got all your pent-up tension out and let your hand wander over Lay the way he'd been doing it to you. Lay loved it and was soon panting and gripping you tightly. When you could feel him getting desperate you pulled away and he blinked his eyes open. "Want to go upstairs?" Lay asked and you smiled pretending to consider it before shaking your head "nahhh you're getting punished not rewarded. I hear the movie's 3 hours long so have fun thinking about what you did" and you strode back into the living room and purposefully took a seat sandwiched between Suho and Chen.

Two could play this game and Lay's pouty lips were your best reward.

Baekhyun - How everyone wants him...but he only wants you.

Baekhyun was hot and everyone knew it. He also wasn't shy and that meant he attracted a lot of attention from everyone within a 50-mile radius who was attracted to men. You knew Baekhyun was a flirt and didn't mind him flirting back with other idols for one important reason...he was yours.

So part of you loved to see the effect Baekhyun had on other people. Watching people stare after him and get giddy when he spoke to them made you realise how in-demand your boyfriend was. You knew it was petty but you just couldn't resist it. It also had an added layer as the two of you weren't out as a couple and couldn't be together in public. So nobody but you and Baekhyun knew what this was all about and it made you feel so special to have him as your precious secret and because Baekhyun knew you liked it he did it even more.

It was almost like a game and you watched as Baekhyun entered the party with his Exo members and noted who was watching him. A few people called out to him as he passed and he waved to them before heading to the bar. Baekhyun smiled as he passed you and you tried not to react. It took 5 minutes after Exo sat down for some people to join them at the table. The girl in question purposefully sat on Baekhyun's right and you saw her trying to get his attention. He eventually humoured her and started chatting to her. She blushed as he said something and then burst out laughing patting his arm. Some of the people were so obvious in their attraction to Baekhyun but you couldn't blame them, your boyfriend was sexy as hell.

Then the Exo boys got up to dance and Baekhyun managed to lose the girl but two more appeared on the other side of him. "Aren't you going to go out there and compete for him?" your member, who knew you were dating Baekhyun, asked. You smiled "why compete when you've already won?" but did join in the dancing a little later and caught Baekhyun staring at you, past some girls dancing in front of him. His gaze always reassured you and made you feel like the most desirable person in the world. Baekhyun just had that effect on you.

Baekhyun loved seeing the glint in your eye and the pride on your face and when he couldn't take it anymore he came over to you. "How it's going ladies?" he asked addressing all your members and they all gave him responses before his eyes fell to you "Y/n?" he asked sinking into a seat next to you. "How are you?". "I'm good" you said "I enjoyed watching you having fun. Seems like you're quite popular". "I am" Baekhyun admitted "women like me but I already have a gorgeous one I'm crazy for". "Yeah but they're all gorgeous girls too" you replied "she can't be that special". "She's the hottest, funniest, smartest woman I've ever met so yeah she's that special" he said and you smiled. "Speaking of, I miss her so I'm gonna go head home to her". You all said goodbye to Baekhyun and 10 minutes later your member passed you your coat.

The second you got outside you were swept into someone's arms and Baekhyun's lips were on yours. You kissed him back happily and when you separated kept your foreheads pressed together. "Hi" Baekhyun said and you giggled "hi". Baekhyun saw your flushed cheeks and smiled "I can't believe this works for you every time". You shrugged "I like to feel special and you make me feel special, is that so bad?". "No not at all" Baekhyun said kissing you again before pulling you towards a taxi so he could get you home. "Plus it's funny to see how far you're going to push it...sometimes I think you like to push it so I'll punish you", Baehyun smirked widely telling you, you were correct. "What on earth gave you that idea?" he asked and you laughed. "I can see right through you" you whispered "and I know you're mine". "I am" Baekhyun said with a huge smile on his face "so what are going to do with me?". His timing was perfect as always as his apartment came into view. "Why don't we go find out?" you replied.  

Chanyeol - How quickly he can change from cute to hot

Chanyeol knew pretty much everyone in the idol business and being a likeable boy, he had lots of friends. So whenever you went anywhere bubbly idol Chanyeol made an appearance but your Chanyeol was never far away.

Your car pulled up to the event and Chanyeol hesitated, searching his phone for the ticket. Chanyeol didn't need the ticket to get in, he'd get in because he was Chanyeol, but you thought it was sweet how he never assumed and still got his invite up. "You ready?" he asked turning to you when you'd found it and you nodded but Chanyeol could see you were unsure. "You look beautiful Y/n" he told you and you paused sighing. You were a stunt-woman and had gotten bruised on a stun slightly so were worried you didn't look your best. "Are you sure?" you asked "because I can always go home if people will ask about my appearance". In response Chanyeol kissed you "the only thing people will be talking about is how fucking hot you look in red and how lucky I am" he said and together you stepped out of the car. You were still blushing from Chanyeol's comment but he was now waving at fans and beaming at the staff. He had his cute face on but when he looked at you, you saw that falter slightly and he shot you a smirk and a wink before waving to the crowd once more. Only you got to see the way he looked at you and you loved that.

Once you got inside the party Chanyeol was in his element, surrounded by all his friends and colleagues. He chatted to them all and of course included you in all the conversations. Even when the conversation was about something work-related, he'd hook an arm around you or play with the texture of your dress just to let you know he was thinking about you. Chanyeol lived to make you feel special and it was so sexy.

The party passed in a blur and before you knew it you had to leave to do some quick errands. The two of you were waiting for your ride but everyone that passed said something to Chanyeol and he knew them all. You were amazed he could actually be friends with so many people but your boyfriend was just that friendly! "I can't wait to get home" Chanyeol said and you nodded "yeah I need out of this dress and into something comfy instead". Chanyeol smiled "I can help you get out of that dress" and you paused taken aback by how quickly his voice changed. He could say something like that and make you tense up with anticipation in seconds.

Before you could response a couple came over to say goodbye. They knew each other from school and the guy couldn't believe Chanyeol actually remembered him but that was Chanyeol's charm. "Have a great night, say hi to your parents for me!" Chanyeol called waving to them as they walked away before moving back in "how about we skip the dry cleaners and just go home?". You paused "but don't you need that for tomorrow?". "I do but I need you more" he replied and the whiney note in his voice made you nod "okay yeah let's go" and you tugged him towards the exit. Chanyeol laughed but didn't move "easy tiger we've got to wait for our car remember?" he asked showing you the screen of his phone with the taxi. You groaned "this is why we should always bring a car". "To be fair the driver's 2 minutes away, we wouldn't have got home much quicker". "Yes but we could've used the car!" you said "you have blackout windows" and Chanyeol froze "I never thought of that". You could practically see the plans forming in his head. "I've got an idea" he said whispering in your ear again and you were desperate to hear what he was going to say when Red Velvet appeared and Chanyeol turned into big brother mode.

He insisted on picking up Yeri tomorrow because she had no ride to av event they had and Yeri turned to you "is he always like this Y/n? So sweet and kind?". You smirked looking at him "he is but he also has a darker side" and all the girls "ohhhed" while Irene frowned "as in bad boy side?". You paused "more sexy side" and Chanyeol went bright red as all the girls laughed. As luck would have it, your taxi had just pulled up outside and so Chanyeol separated you from the girls and got you in the car. "Can't believe you told them about my sexy side" he whispered to you and you laughed "why was it a secret? All I'm saying is your company needs you to star in a kdrama yesterday!". The taxi driver asked directions and Chanyeol told him before turning back to you with his sexy mode on. "The only person I want to perform for is you" he said and you smiled "good point, you still haven't given me a show of your latest comeback song". "Sir are we heading to the dry cleaners or home?" the taxi driver and this time Chanyeol didn't turn his mode off. "Straight home" he said never taking his eyes off you "I've got the show of my life to star in".

D.O. - How he commands respect without even raising his voice

Now you were only human, so you did find it quite hot how none of the Exo members messed with your boyfriend. Even Baekhyun fled after causing any trouble and you quite enjoyed the power he held. He might not be the tallest or strongest but he was the scariest and that was so goddamn attractive!

This thought occurred to you anytime you were around the guys and on this occasion, you were on holiday together. The guys did have some filming to do first though and you were relaxing in the sun while they worked and found yourself watching them. They were debating where would be best to film and Kai suggested somewhere but the manager said they shouldn't in case they got a tan. D.O. immediately objected to the idea of dark being bad (because it's not) and argued until the shot the video in the sun. Then in between takes Baekhyun found a water gun and began squirting the other members. He wasn't even aiming at D.O. but when your boyfriend turned around Baekhyun flinched and you smiled at D.O's confused face.

You could see the guys scheming though as Baekhyun whispered to Chanyeol and Sehun and knew he was planning something but so did D.O. When the director called cut Baekhyun turned to squirt D.O. but he was ready and he simply picked Baekhyun up and dumped him kicking and squirming into the pool. It was hilarious and you laughed along with the others then D.O. also pushed Sehun in who dragged Chanyeol and it was even better! The guys were all slightly in awe as were you but D.O. just shrugged it off, giving his mic to the staff and walking over to you. "Want to go on that walk?" he asked you and you nodded "yeah let's go" and walked away feeling like a very proud girlfriend.

It wasn't even his members who reacted this way to D.O. As you walked down the street vendors called out to you but not with the typical cheesy lines. Instead, they greeted you both professionally and addressed him as sir and gentleman. You stopped off at a jewellery stand because D.O. saw you looking at it and once again the man deferred to D.O. and treated both of you with the upmost respect. You got a good deal for the bracelet you liked and a beautiful bag to put it in and you suspected it was because the man didn't dare try anything with D.O.

As you left you wandered to the beach and you curled up next to D.O. You were affectionate but this was more than usual and D.O. smiled "if I knew it would make you this happy I'd have bought you 5 bracelets" he said. You smiled shaking your head "it's not the bracelet it's you". "Me?" he asked "why what have I done" and you explained everything you'd witnessed. "You're just so strong and have such a presence, it's so hot! You don't even realise either and that makes it even hotter you're a natural-born commander". D.O. was impervious to most things but your compliments always broke him and he smiled at you happily. "Really?" he asked "you like that about me?". "A lot" you agreed staring at him and D.O. smiled "well how about we go back to the hotel and I intimidate the guys a little more and then we disappear somewhere together". You jumped to your feet and held out your hand for D.O.'s "let's go!".

It was an incredibly fun business trip/holiday.  

Kai - The way he looks at you

Now when most people think of Exo Kai's best feature probably don't think of his eyes. The go-to is probably his hips which move like butter, his chiselled abs, golden tan or his pouty lips. All things which people imagine they could get a lot of use out of but your favourite feature about your boyfriend was his eyes and they could drive you as crazy as any other body part.

Kai wasn't a rookie idol, he'd learned to perfectly shape his face into a mask no matter his inner feelings and so he had to be subtle when he teased you in public...for that he used his eyes. You could be across the room at an award show and you'd feel his gaze on you and blush. Or you'd be at a dinner with friends and he'd catch your eye across the table. He'd smile and tilt his head to the side and you'd know what he meant. His eyes conveyed it all and when they asked if anyone wanted dessert you both said no. Kai also used his eyes to make sure you were okay whenever you were at public events. It was just a slight softening of them and a small nod and you'd know what he was asking and feel so reassured by him.

So you adored Kai's eyes but he had no idea about this. One day you were with the Exo members and somehow Kai's body had come up as a topic. It was lighthearted and they were just debating which body part of his they would take if they could. You were leaning against Kai, his arm around your holding you close when they turned the topic to you. "Y/n what do you think Kai's best feature is?" they asked. You'd just gotten back in the country today so were a little sleepy and replied "his eyes" before yawning. "His ass?" Baekhyun asked and you laughed "no his eyes!". "His eyes?" Chanyeol asked confused and you nodded "yeah I think it's his most beautiful feature. They're such a beautiful colour and they're very expressive. He can tell so many stories with his eyes alone". The guys all made noises and you found yourself blushing because you'd admitted an intimate detail of your life.

At the next opportunity, Kai got you alone and asked you about it. "Do you really go weak for my eyes?" he asked and you went bright red. "You do!" he cried "how did I never notice this before? I'm totally using this". "That's why I didn't tell you! I didn't want you thinking you could just bat your pretty eyes at me and I'd do whatever you wanted" you said. Kai smiled "but you will though...or at least will do somethings when I bat my eyes at you" he said his hands snaking around your waist and finding their way under your top. "Kai!" you scolded him "your friends are all in the next room" but he just smiled "so?" and that made his eyes smile too which made you sigh. "How can you say no to them Y/n?" he asked batting his eyes at you and moving so you could see them at different angles. "You know you want me" Kai whispered and you were jus about to give in when Chen walked in. "Sorry didn't mean to interrupt I just need some water" he said and awkwardly made his way to the sink and filled a glass. That interruption though was enough to give you a breath of non-Kai air and when he turned back to you, you were ready. "Nope" you said as he reached out to you "I'm not going to be yours anytime just because your eyes are amazing. So we're going to sit in there, I'm not going to look at you and then I will punish you later for what you've done". "Yes please!" Kai said and you sighed "you're not meant to like your punishment!". "Oh but I know I will" Kai grinned and you shook your head "you're unbelievable!". "Just wait until later when you punish me" he replied and you shook your head "I'm leaving now". Kai called after you but you couldn't look back...because you knew you'd see what those beautiful eyes were doing and crumble.

Sehun - How he stand-up for you

You knew Sehun wasn't a fan of confrontation and always wanted people to get along, so when his friend Sanghoon took a disliking to you after a misunderstanding, you were unsure how he'd respond but Sehun handled it perfectly. 

Sehun tried to play nice at first, he was polite and explained the misunderstanding before encouraging the two of you to try and move past it. However, when his friend made it clear on numerous occasions he had no interest in getting to know you and rudely rebuked all your attempts to be friends, Sehun called it. He took him to one side at a party and told his friend he could either speak to you respectfully or leave. Which Sanghoon did not like.

"We've been friends for 4 years! You're going to ditch me for some girl?". "Her name's Y/n" Sehun replied sternly but calmly. "I don't give a shit what her name is!" his friend replied and Sehun took a breath, looked at you to make sure you were all right and then carried on. "Don't disrespect her or be rude to Y/n in front of me ever again. I know we've been friends for 4 years but that doesn't mean you get a pass for behaving badly. Y/n is my girlfriend but even if she wasn't she doesn't deserve to be spoken of like that and I won't bring someone into her life who treats her that way. If your behaviour changes then we can talk but until then, please get out" Sehun said gesturing to the door. "You're not even going to hear me out?" his friend asked and Sehun shook his head "not unless there's an apology for Y/n". "but I've done nothing wrong!" he cried and started ranting but Sehun held up his hand "I've said all I wanted to, please leave. Now". 

You'd never considered Sehun and intimidating person before but the way he stood tall and stared at his friend, daring him to disagree or argue was very impressive and hot. You watched as Sehun's friend backed down and left without another word. Sehun made sure you were okay and then made sure all his other guests were okay. He was an excellent host so you didn't get to thank him until later when everyone had gone. 

"Thank you" you said "for standing up to Sanghoon like that". Sehun shook his head "you don't need to thank me". "Yes I do" you smiled grabbing his hand so he couldn't turn away from you. "Some guys care more about what other guys think of them than their partners and you can never be 100% sure what is said behind your back...if you can trust a guy but with you, I now know I have no need to worry. You've got my back". "Of course!" Sehun said his hands coming to your waist so he could hold onto you "Y/n I'll always defend and support you. You're my everything and if anyone had a problem with that, well they can follow Sanghoon right out the door". 

You smiled "it was really hot too you know, how you acted all alpha and told him to leave". "It was?" Sehun asked and you nodded blushing "I've never seen that side to you but I liked it". "Hmmm" Sehun said, his glorious eyebrows creasing in thought "would you maybe like me to bring this, and I'm using your words here, alpha-likeness to the bedroom sometime?". "Yeah sometimes and by some time I mean tonight". Sehun grinned "of course" and he swiftly picked you up over his shoulder and raced up the stairs. You were squealing with laughter as he carried you like you weighed nothing but all that stopped when he laid you down with a serious look on his face. Only then did you stop to think what you'd done...you turned your already hot boyfriend into an even hotter boyfriend.

_____

To celebrate their comback here’s some sexy Exo! I adore Hear Me Out sooo much and wasn’t planning on posting this now but knew I had to bump it up! 

[comicaurora]

Are you willing to make a long personal post about how Math should be presented in an educational environment or in general conversation trying to convince the other participants about its daily usage. How it can advance a person’s problem-solving skills and approach in life.

I’m really good in Mathematics. I’ve given help for my classmates and friends about Math when they are having trouble or ask for it. But I have never been convinced of its importance outside of the classroom, outside of the test papers that gives me the variables to substitute in the given equation of that test of the day.

How can Math and it’s many properties relate back to everyday life in a casual manner?

Hm. Well, as someone who hasn't had to solve an antiderivative in years, my perspective on this is that the most important and widely-applicable skill math can teach you is the stuff behind the math - mostly the muscle-memory you get from proofs.

Math is, at its core, puzzles and logic and pattern-recognition. You learn a set of tools, you practice those tools on a set of simple problems until you get a feel for them, you are presented with a bigger problem, you recall which tools best applied to problems that are shaped like this, you break the problem down using your tools and eventually reduce it to something you know how to solve.

The fact of the matter is, the tools that are specific to branches of math don't really have much widespread use outside pure mathematics, and unless you go out of your way to keep using them you're likely to lose track of them. Studying math is not going to turn you into a super-calculator-wizard who can bounce stuff off the walls at perfect angles and do six-figure arithmetic in seconds, and I think some people feel overwhelmed at the assumption that that's what's expected of them if they learn math, and some other people feel cheated when they learn that that's absolutely not going to happen, because most writers don't know math and when they tell stories with math in them their best guess is it makes you a wizard.

I think the most advanced math I've used lately was trigonometry, and that was just because I was curious about how fast my plane was traveling relative to the sun's apparent movement at my latitude. We were flying back to the US from Iceland and we'd taken off at sunset, and we had been in that sunset for at least an hour by the time I got curious how the math worked out and started estimating our latitude, the circumference of the slice of the earth at that latitude, and correspondingly how fast we were flying vs how fast it was spinning to complete a full rotation in 24 hours. But even if the math involved didn't tap into any of the higher-level stuff I'd learned post-trig, those years doing proofs and figuring out which tools applied to which geometry meant that I could use the tools and my training applying those tools to calculate what I wanted to know, and confirm that our plane was actually outflying the sun when we were at iceland latitude, but as we curved south the sun's apparent relative movement (aka the rotational speed of that latitude of the earth) slowly accelerated until we were falling behind, landing right as the sun finally set. The math involved was high school level, but if I'd been given that problem in high school it would've taken more work and more stress to figure out how the tools I had needed to be applied to the problem I was facing. The years of practice I had tackling much more complicated proofs made the diagnostic process much faster.

I saw someone once analogize studying math to lifting weights. Where am I going to use this in real life? How often will I really be faced with two dumbbells that need to be lifted in three sets of twenty? Where am I going to apply the skill of holding a heavy thing straight out to one side of my body?

You don't lift weights because lifting weights is such a valuable and widely-applicable skillset, you do it because lifting weights makes you better at lifting everything.

You don't study math because math is going to fill your daily life with concepts that you need to prove true for 1 and for n+1 given true for n, or complex solids that you need to sum an approximate volume for, or a surplus of sunset plane flights that demand you calculate a bunch of cosines. You study math because it is the skillset of making things make sense. It trains you to break a huge, incomprehensible problem down into a series of small problems you already know how to solve. It lets you reach true and correct conclusions by starting from facts and transforming them through operations that preserve truth, and correspondingly that if you reach a false conclusion from these methods, then either the methods are flawed or the initial assumption is not as true as you believed. It teaches you to put two and two together and be confident, once you've double-checked your work, that you can say four.

This is stuff I use all the time in both my video research and my freeform writing. Building out a slow picture of how a story was told or changed over time involves finding the context it was created in, and reverse-engineering what parts of that context could have produced what standout portions of the story - what authorial or cultural bias results in this standout story element. Worldbuilding where I take two wildly disparate parts of the world, put them together and see what web of implications springs out of combining them, following the threads to new and interesting concepts that follow from what I've already established. Building a character arc by breaking down exactly what events are happening to them and what transformation each component will apply to the underlying character. If I want the story to go in a certain direction, what transformations do I need to apply to make that happen while still preserving truth? If I'm faced with a seemingly insurmountable problem, what methods can I use to break it down into bite-sized pieces?

This isn't something I think about most of the time. It's just how my brain works at this point, and I can't promise it'd work for anyone else. But thanks to all my years of hard work and training, my brain has been buff enough to solve every problem I've tangled with since graduation, and that feels pretty good.

[poordeadsejanus]

TBOSAS gave an intense look at the map of panem pre-president snow era, so I pieced it together to make a more official map than anything i've seen thus far. plus, i'm insane about fictional maps for literally no reason. [keep in mind, this is shitty screenshots that i've put together and the screen the map appears on (during lucky's weather report) appears to be rounded, so some of the proportions and such might be off. ] more stuff under the cut

so, these are the images i used to make this:

and i pieced them together as best i could, some of the borders, like the bottom right of 12 and the bottom of 5 became sort of a guessing game because they were covered up/hard to see.

doing that and cropping/pasting them together gave me this image (same as at the top of post)

red lines are clear country borders, yellow are district borders, purple is any of the areas i was unsure about. As we can see from this, districts 7, 10, and 13 (not labelled on this map because at this point in canon-time, it's 'gone') have no definite ending borders, so it's hard to even guess where they would end at. using this i made this more polished map using each district's colours that are listed on fandom dot com

the unclear edges are left blurred because really i don't know where they end...

we know that panem is formerly north america, so i laid the image over a map of north america and got this:

it took a little adjusting because again, my map is based off of a warped television screen, but, we end up with something like this. some interesting things to note is that a lot of coast has presumably eroded away as time passed -- we lost all of baja, and most of florida and socal, and some of virginia and north carolina, and many pieces of the mexican states, though none in their entirety . the places where panem extends over NA water spaces (districts 6, 7, 13) are either from receding water levels or translation issues from the warping of the in-movie screen... or, my own personal error, i guess lol.

again, as far as 7, 10, and 13, their end borders are up to speculation, but i'd imagine 7 extends up to near the edge of the northern canadian borders and maybe into alaska -- though i can't say because that's a huge chunk of space (it is the lumber district, though, so it probably goes as high as the trees are...). same goes for 10: i'd guess it goes south a bit more to near the nartual borders, but likely in any low-elevation areas (near the southern provinces) the sea has swallowed up the land. as for 13, it likely extends more near norther quebec and out toward the maritime provinces (though i'd estimate that most of those are either completely underwater or complete above it, so there's no islands going on). truly though, it's anyone's guess, so let me know your thoughts on it if you made it this far down!

future-panem, like during the events of the hunger games, definitely has changed district borders. we knows there's fencing and forbidden area, so the districts are definitely far smaller and there's space between them (no man's land) so that there is little-to-no communication between districts.

anyway, thanks for checking this out, i spent too much time on this to come out with very little practical use, but if you're like me and you like knowing where fictional locations are/how they're laid out, this is for you

[genericpuff]

How long do you plan making rekindled? I loved Lo at some point, But now I cant get enough of your version!! And I wanted to know how did you come up with the darker back stories for Rekindled?

I have a semi-detailed skeleton of the plot with basically every story beat planned out, but I can't definitively say how long it will be as I haven't actually scripted every single episode out yet.

Not to mention a lot of the time my scripts will change from their original versions, by the time I get to an episode I've planned ahead for I've either thought of new ways to do it or don't like how it's paced so I change it. Case in point, there was a specific scene I had planned for the next episode and then wound up not liking the pacing because it was too fast so I moved it to several episodes away and restructured everything on the fly, took a whole new text document and scrapping sketches to figure shit out LOL I actually do have up until Episode 70ish scripted out in my documents with like, actual notes and dialogue for each episode, but I already have sooo many of those crossed out now because of how much I've had to tweak and change as time has gone on. This is why I plan ahead well in advance though, so that if I do need to make those changes, I can make them long before the episodes are even due to be drawn (and believe me, they get changed during the sketching phases too LOL).

What I can confirm for certain is that the current 'arc' we're in right now is definitely the bulk of the story. And that's not to say there isn't any content afterwards, more like the pacing just gets completely turned on its head in the last 30-40% of it where shit gets N U T S and just can't go back to the same energy that it was in the beginning. Without spoiling, there's a certain 'turning point' in the plot and everything after it isn't quite as long as the stint of story we're in now. This is mostly because the arc we're currently in is still establishing a bunch of stuff like the Underworld Corp, Persephone's schooling, etc. and once that turning point hits, it's basically all character development and focusing on the consequences of everything setup in the first arc.

I guess if I had to illustrate it, the story progression in the end will look something like this?

It's basically just this slow and chill climb that, once it hits that sharp peak, doesn't ever return to normal levels LMAO So I guess enjoy this part of the story while you can because it's the chillest it'll ever be w(°ｏ°)w And boy, I am EXCITED for that peak, but we have a long way to go before we get there. As for how long, well, I'm hoping I'll be able to have Rekindled's story wrapped up in the next 2 years, tops. Just depends on how the update schedule goes, and assuming the plans I have put down for the plotting don't change in any major way. I don't have as much of the latter half of the story actually scripted out yet so for all I know it could wind up being way longer than anticipated, but right now I have a pretty good sense of how the story beats will play out in relation to each other.

So it's kind of a wait and see thing, at least until I have every episode scripted out, and even then I won't be 100% sure because things are always being tweaked and fixed and changed on the fly! I'm guessing it won't go much longer than 170 episodes, give or take, but that's a very very VERY rough estimate.

Regardless, Rekindled still has a lot more story to tell, and I'm hoping y'all enjoy the ride with me <3

As for the darker backstories, y'all don't even know yet. Like... I've got stuff planned. Stuff that even Banshriek (my BG assistant) doesn't know about. Stuff that I keep buried very deep in Rekindled's episode documents that won't see the light of day until they have to be ripped out of the deep dark trenches of the characters' own buried secrets, and by that point, the toothpaste will be out of the tube, there will be no going back. So, again... enjoy it while it lasts. Because I don't pull my punches. And maybe even you won't be able to look at me the same way again once the final blow has been dealt.

Sleep well.

:)

[my-writings-and-musings]

What if the reader ACTUALLY ended up getting pregnant by soundwave? 👀 How would the cassettes react to the fact that they're going to have a baby sibling soon? Feel free to write this 〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜

Wwwwwwweeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllll I might just have to give this a try anon, I definitely haven't been thinking about it since that last ask... (Or applying the same thought to other bots that you can totally ask me about at any time if any of you are so inclined)

I hope you all enjoy, and if you like my writing style you can always commission me!

All three of the minis still had their own unique expression of frozen shock when Frenzy finally went silent, leaving you to sit awkwardly across from them at the breakfast table. Soundwave knelt at your side, his demeanour tense but supportive as the quiet continued for several agonizing moments. It was Laserbeak that found his voice first, shaking his helm as if he was trying to process the information but simply couldn't. "How's that even possible?!"

"You're WHHHAAAAAATTTT?!"

Even without utilizing her sonic scream, Frenzy had the walls shaking for the entirety of her outburst, though such a reaction was more or less what you'd expected given the news you and Soundwave had just dropped.

"From the look of it, I'm due in seven months." you answered simply, unwilling to admit that was a guess at best. Based on your symptom you could reasonably estimate you were about two months in, but there was no way to know if this was going to proceed like a normal pregnancy, and it wasn't like you could swing by a doctor's office for answers. Soundwave settled his claws on your shoulder in a gesture of support.

"Known phenomenon. Scattered historical records." Soundwave answered for you, his explanation only somewhat shorter now than what he'd given you when everything had come to light. He'd also been able to translate and show you some of the texts describing the process, which included an explanation as to how Cybertronian gametes could "read" the genetic information of other species and interpret it to match their own anatomy, allowing for reproduction between vastly different beings. The little one within you now would be fully Cybertronian, but still related to you thanks to the wonders of alien biology. You wondered briefly what features of your own might be recognizable; your smile, the shape of your eyes, the proportions of your limbs...

"Well... When's the little one gonna get here?" Laserbeak continued as the others remained silent. Ravage was tense in his chair, optics narrow and audials pinned back in deep thought whilst Frenzy still found herself incapable of getting her jaw off the floor.

Giving the minis a date seemed to make the news that much more real, and the three exchanged looks, silently discussing their feelings on the matter with expressions alone. Too many emotions passed between them for you to identify even a fraction, but you caught a considerable amount of uncertainty from all three, which we to be expected. Frenzy finally spoke for the group, crossing her arms as if she was seated at a negotiating table as she tilted her helm for a pointed question. "Are we gonna have to share a room with them? It's already pretty crowded with the three of us."

"Search for more spacious dwelling; initiated." Soundwave replied quickly. The question was one the two of you had asked yourselves, and though searching presented its own dangers, you had concluded it would be far from ideal to have a growing family in this crowded bunker. In a mere month your mate had crossed hundreds of miles in his search, and the list of new potential homes grew each time he returned. Said information was relayed to the minis in a succinct summation of his activities. "Several possible locations located. Scouting to continue."

Hearing of a new home caught the interest of all three, an understandable reaction considering their limited space at present, and also seemed to turn some of their surprise to anticipation.

"Well, if we can get somewhere with a little more elbow room... I'm on board." Frenzy said as she returned to her more casual sitting posture, looking more open to the idea now that she had some time to process and could imagine the fun that might come if it. Seeing a smile pull on her lips gave you a great deal of comfort, and you felt your shoulder relax in Soundwave's grasp. The music loving femme tapped her chin as she pondered the possibilities. "Something beachside would be pretty tight."

Matching her energy, Laserbeak added his own two cents, equally excited at the prospect of moving from their cramped abode. "I could go for something up in the mountains, nice to have open air under the wings."

You prepared to reply with a list of the places Soundwave had scouted, but Frenzy scoffed at Laserbeak's suggestion before you could speak, returning to her old self with impressive speed. "Boring! How are we gonna have fun in the middle of the woods?"

"If the bitlet ends up flying, where else am I gonna show them the ropes?" he replied, holding up his wings like hands in his exasperation.

The comment took you pleasantly by surprise. Moments ago they'd been so shocked you couldn't really tell if they were at all on board with the new family member, but Laserbeak was already planning for including the little one, and Frenzy made it clear she was doing the same with her retort.

"How can I take them to rock concerts if there aren't any?" she asked in equal exasperation, making you smile at how she was also planning for their future sibling. You were confident now their initial reaction had been purely one of shock, and now that it had faded they were all proving more than amenable to the idea of a little brother or sister.

"They can fly there!" Laserbeak replied as the silly argument intensified, the two minis squabbling over the best places to live for the sake of their interests as well as their future sibling. Ravage remained removed from the entire discussion, but you found his posture far more relaxed, and when his gaze met your own for a second time he was far from displeased. The Felicon looked to you for a moment of consideration before giving a nod, his way of indicating that he too was fine with this most unexpected turn of events. You nodded back in appreciation. This little one may have been unplanned, but they would be anything but unloved.

"Arguments unhelpful." Soundwave sighed as the petty squabble grew lightly physical, juvenile slaps being traded by Frenzy and Laserbeak as they debated whose idea for a new location was "obviously" superior to the others. You chuckled lightly and gave his servo a pat, certain this chaos would hardly compare to what your little family would be dealing with in just a few short months.

[spinji]

How old is AFO and OFA

[Mile long post incoming]

Long story short this is a theory/headcanon/thought exercise to keep my brain busy while I'm bored at work. I wanted to figure out a more precise estimate for how old All for One is since his birth is essentially the earliest moment of quirk society emerging and so his life spans the entire timeline of this story which I find interesting. And then the whole thing spiraled into a full One for All timeline of headcanons, so enjoy that.

To start though, it would be easy to guess that he's 120-and-some-change because of Garaki. Mic claimed Garaki would be about 120 (and we're just assuming he's exactly right instead of guesstimating for the sake of things) and Garaki confirms that his quirk allows him to live longer than a regular human lifespan, and when they met, All for One was given a copy so he could also live absurdly long. But I want to try a more exact method to ensure that his generations of adversaries could have actually reasonably worked time-wise. So, we can use Garaki's age to check our work but, reasonably, All for One should fall somewhere in the 120-150 range.

Right off the bat, we do have a frustrating lack of information regarding ages and time passing but there are a few things we can establish. Firstly, we know AFO and Yoichi are twins, so when determining age we can start both AFO individually and the OFA users as a collective at the same point. Secondly, Yoichi and AFO are shown to be the first people to have developed a quirk in the way we see in current time. There were vaguely quirk like mutations in people before that (like with their mother) but quirks as we know them are presented to us as originating from these two twins.

I bring this up because while Yoichi, Kudou, and Bruce are all in the same vague realm of "adult" at the same point in time, Yoichi has to be the oldest of the three. Even if it is only by a few years, Yoichi and AFO preceed any characters with a quirk. And while we're on the topic of Kudou and Bruce, we can safely say Kudou is the older one of the duo. He's confirmed to be the head leader of the resistance group against AFO and Bruce is second in command, so, frankly it would just be bizarre if Bruce was older in age but lower in rank. That being said, I don't think their difference in age would be significant.

Exact ages is where things get vague and headcanon-y. There isn't really any hard evidence I can point to other than "that sounds about right" and "I guess they look about that age" in an animation style that is notorious for just slapping a, borderline arbitrary, age on any design regardless of logic. So, rather than trying to justify it too much, my personal choices for their ages are, at Yoichi's time of death, Yoichi is 39, Kudou is 30, and Bruce is 27. At this point in the story AFO has been amassing power and followers for a while now, long enough for a resistance force to rise up against him but not long enough that he's considered it more than a nuisance for other people to handle until now. Late thirties seems pretty reasonable, possibly a bit too young but this man has also been killing people since he was 0.

For Kudou and Bruce I aimed for the older side of military age. Old enough to lead an operation like this but still young enough that AFO's rise to power was during most of their lifetime. Also, there's the issue of the age ceiling. Thanks to Shinomori (who I will get to), users 2 through 7 cannot have lived to be over 40 years old. That is a hard, non-negotiable cap on their ages as the strain of OFA alongside a different biological quirk drastically shortens a person's natural lifespan.

Anyway, back to AFO's age. If Yoichi dies at 39, this would also make him 39 (duh) and given the climate of the world at this point, I think Kudou lasted the shortest with OFA, personally. He receives the quirk immediately upon Yoichi's death after getting his blood in his mouth (Yoichi probably thought of him in his dying moments aww) and likely a week or two later is when Kudou and Bruce find out about it. The chapter frames Kudou finding out Yoichi carried on into him at the same time AFO has the same epiphany so, generously?? I give Kudou a year. Max.

All for One is now filled with seething hatred for Kudou specifically after Yoichi's death, so everything has been put on the back burner so he can both take the quirk from Kudou to get his "possession" back (ew) and to kill Kudou along with everyone he ever knew, loved, spoke to, looked at, or had any genetic lineage with. Even for a guy this powerful that is going to take a bit. A year gives AFO time to find information and strike down the entire resistance and time for Kudou and Bruce to think of a counter strategy and gain an understanding for how OFA works. So, Bruce takes the quirk at 28, Kudou dies at 31, and All for One kills him at 40.

After Kudou's death is a very big blank spot where I need to unfortunately just blindly headcanon again, so bare with me. Kudou and Bruce's plan was for Bruce to take the quirk and slip away from the massacre of the resistance to build OFA stronger and come back to finish the job. I believe that Bruce met Shinomori while he was lying low. Judging by the one image we have of Bruce confronting AFO, he did seemingly attempt to rally people together to defeat him, which would have taken a bit longer than when Kudou was leading an established resistance, since he didn't already have people under him. But he clearly thought to pass the quirk on again as a backup in case he lost, which is why he chose Shinomori to take it. With time needed to plan this attack and also get AFO's sights off him, I'd give it about five years between AFO's fight with Kudou and his fight with Bruce. It's estabished that Shinomori takes the quirk at 22 so, Bruce dies at 33, and All for One kills him at 45.

Shinomori is actually a very clear-cut piece of the timeline. He takes the quirk at 22 and dies at 40, having passed the quirk to the next user shortly before that because he realized his health was rapidly declining. He keeps the quirk for a total of 18 years, making All for One 63 at the time of his death. Judging by how the flashback panels are structured, AFO has received Garaki's quirk by this point.

Also, we have reached the point where every following user of OFA has been a professional hero, so I think it's safe to assume that each link in the chain met through either being colleagues or possibly through a sidekick internship. I doubt All Might was the first one to think of scouting hero students for successors. I'm going to assume that users 5, 6, and 7 were somewhere in the 16-24 range when they received the quirk for that very reason.

Moving on though, Banjo is the next user. I do think Banjo knew Shinomori for a somewhat significant time before his death. Banjo clearly knows about Shinomori's reclusive nature in some level of detail based on how they interact as vestiges and while it is possible for the already deceased OFA users to peer into the thoughts and memories of the current user, it doesn't appear to be the same retroactively, unless it's something the vestiges want to show the current user. All this to say I came to conclusion that Banjo was already likely a pro hero when he recieved the quirk from Shinomori. Shinomori realized what was happening and reached out to one of the few trusted friends he had to carry on the burden because he knew he could handle it. So I'm going to peg Banjo at being about 22 when he took the power as well. Old enough to be experienced as a pro with enough time to have actually met Shinomori before he died. Just like all the others, Banjo died to All for One after being trapped under rubble and gave the power to En just before he croaked. Given his bordering-on-middle-aged appearance, I'm going to put forward Banjo dying at 37 and All for One killing him at 78.

En also has very little information on him but since we only have speculation to work with, might as well stop apologizing for it. En appears to be significantly younger than Banjo, so I suspect he was an internship student to Banjo while he was a pro. Putting En at 17 when he recieved the power is both enough time for them to meet and get to know each other with En having to take the mantle from him sooner than either of them anticipated. En's appearance is still quite young, but he was confirmed to be a pro hero for a time, so he didn't have as short a run as Kudou. Nana was also already some level of hero (whether student or pro is unclear) at the time she recieved the power. Rather than mentor and student I believe they were fledgling colleagues, since Gran Torino fills the role as Nana's older pro mentor. All of this makes me vaguely place En dying at 25 and All for One killing him at 86.

I already mentioned Nana potentially being colleagues with En as their way of meeting. I still think she may have been younger than him at the time but not significantly so. En is another user that is shown passing on the power while at death's door and the following panel that shows Nana accepting it doesn't make her look significantly younger than how she does in any given scene in the series. So I don't think she was a child when she took the quirk but I'm going to set my guess at 20. But! While Nana is another character without a listed age, surprisingly, we can figure it out a good guess with actual evidence this time. Her son Kotaro, grandson Tomura, and pupil All Might all have stated, confirmed ages that we can use to make a feasible timeline for Nana.

Currently, All Might is 57 and Tomura is 21, meaning All Might was 36 when Tomura was born. Kotaro was killed at 32, when Tomura was 5, making him 27 when Yagi was 36. Nana died when All Might was in his last year at UA, making him 18, meaning Kotaro was 9 at the time. Nana gave All Might OFA when he was in middle school, judging by his uniform, so we'll assume he was 14 and Kotaro was 5. When Nana and All Might first meet, Nana states that her family is all dead, in a cold and distant manner. But that wouldn't be true if Kotaro was still in her life. This would mean that she met Yagi after the death of her husband and after Kotaro was sent away. And I'd wager to bet it was very soon after. Assuming Nana gave birth to Kotaro at around 25 years old (perfectly reasonable) then she would have passed the quirk to All Might at 30 and died at 34 after having the quirk for 14 years, making All for One 100 at the time of the transfer. Gran Torino also states that AFO is over 100 at the time Nana died, which makes this whole thing perfectly plausible.

From here things get a lot less speculative. All Might is listed as 55 at the beginning of the manga, adding on Izuku's last year of middle school and first year of high school puts him at 57. We already established he received the quirk at 14, meaning he held the power for 42 years + 1 year quirkless before All for One was finally killed at the grand age of 143. Which would mean that quirks have existed for just shy of one and a half centuries now and we fit comfortably inside our estimate goal!

Now, I'm one of those bad at math gays so if you have other thoughts on this, feel free to speak up. And you're more than welcome to adopt these age headcanons if you want. Later.

[rebuilding-the-garg]

The Gargantuan Fossil

This post was from the beginning of my project, thus some information I’ve written here is outdated. Please read my recent posts to see up to date information.

The Gargantuan Fossil is one of the most recognizable parts of the mid-portion of Subnautica’s gameplay. Its sheer size strikes both terror and awe into the hearts of players who stumble upon it. It’s unfortunate that only a third of the creature’s fossilized remains can be seen. Even using the Freecam command to check under the map reveals that the rest of the skeleton remains unmodeled. This is all we have of the Leviathan.

“Gargantuan Fossil” is quite the accurate name, considering just a third of this creature’s skeleton measures 402 meters in length, with the creature’s total size being an estimated 1,100-1,500 meters. Just the skull itself is under 100 meters, and our human player character can nestle comfortably in even its smallest eye socket. I would’ve tried to show our human character’s model for a size comparison, but this thing is so large you wouldn’t even be able to see him.

There have been many different reconstructions of this behemoth of a fossil, the most popular being this commission piece made by Tapwing, for the YouTuber Anthomnia, shown below. And while it’s cool, it’s... not all that accurate.

In the past, I actually helped create a Gargantuan Leviathan mod based off Tapwing’s concept, working alongside other incredibly talented artists (who will remain anonymous, they can talk about their experiences as they please) and some... not so savory individuals. I don’t want to be associated with that old Garg. This reconstruction project is both a way for me to move on and make something better than what I had in the past, and to test my skills and knowledge in the various natural sciences.

Although there is a second specimen, the skull of a younger instance, this fossil holds no significant data outside of showing just how small these creatures start out as. As shown in the image below, despite being a much younger instance, our player character could still fit inside the Leviathan’s smallest eye socket, although it wouldn’t be as spacious as its adult counterpart.

The game’s PDA (Personal Data Assistant) states that the Gargantuan Fossil is approximately 3 million years old, which is INCREDIBLY RECENT. For reference, 3 million years ago we still shared the planet with multiple other hominid species like Australopithecus afarensis back in the mid Pliocene. The Subnautica we know today is a byproduct of a mass-extinction of megafauna, such as Leviathans. My guess as to how the Gargantuan got this big is a combination of deep-sea gigantism and an evolutionary arms race against the other megafauna alive during its time, with prey attempting to become larger than its predator to avoid predation, and the predator growing to continue this cycle. When this ancient ecosystem of leviathan-class super predators collapsed, likely because of the meteor that struck Planet 4546B, the Gargantuan Leviathan was out of a substantial food source and went extinct. It could be possible that these creatures even gave live birth due to their serpentine body and massive size, making them too large for life in the shallows, where laying eggs is easiest.

NOW. LET’S TALK ABOUT THE BONES!! It’s important to figure out if the Gargantuan Leviathan had a cartilaginous skeleton or a bony one, so let’s count the bones!!

There’s TWO WHOLE BONES!!! AND IF YOU LOOK NEXT TO IT!! THOSE RIBS ARE BONES TOO!!!! UWAA!!! SO MANY BONES!!!! How can we tell this is bones? It’s simple! Cartilage is rubbery and flexible, so it doesn't fossilize well, while bone is hard and rigid, perfect fossil material!! Cartilaginous skulls also tend to be made up of many little interlocking bones, with bony skulls being made up of only a small handful! 

Another thing I found interesting about the Gargantuan Skull is that it seems to have a ball and socket joint? This could have just been a similar mishap to the top and bottom jaws being fused in the skull’s model, but I’m trying to keep things as close to the original anatomy as possible. The ball and socket joint probably evolved to help with the burden of such a massive and heavy skull and allowing for greater speed and range of motion. In a world full of Leviathan-class predators, being able to have a wide range of motion would be extremely beneficial in locating both potential predators and prey.

Despite its immense size pushing the claim this Leviathan was an apex predator, it sports a small pair of horns, which is unheard of in large apex predators here on Earth. The darker coloration leads me to believe that these aren’t just horn cores, but the entire horn. These horns were most likely used to assist in defending itself against predators while it’s still small and vulnerable. It could also be a possibility they were used for threat displays and territory fights though it seems unlikely due to their small size. Sexual displays are also unlikely since just about every creature in Subnautica seems capable of asexual reproduction, as noted in the PDA entry for eggs. Asexual reproduction seems to be a very ancient basal trait in Planet 4546B’s evolutionary lineage and was most likely evolved to help species persevere even with low numbers and harsh conditions, preventing the dangers of inbreeding.

Overall, the skull’s shape and tooth structure suggest a piscivorous diet (of course it eats fish, the planet’s 99% water), and its shape specifically is reminiscent of an Orca and Redondasaurus. The lack of nostrils stumps me, there’s no openings in the skull aside from its eye sockets, however there’s also no evidence for a gill apparatus. I’m... going to have to come back to that at a later date. Though I personally believe the Gargantuan Leviathan was an air breather due to the lack of evidence for gills.

OKOK, ENOUGH ABOUT THE SKULL ASRIEL, WHAT ABOUT THE RIBS?

WELL... THE RIBS ARE... SOMETHING.

Behold! My very poor photomash of the same two images to show the total approximate length of the Gargantuan Leviathan, and a bad edit to show off what I believe the whole skeletal system would look like! (skeleton image credit)

Despite the game’s PDA describing the Gargantuan Leviathan’s body as “eel-like,” its skeletal structure is more reminiscent of a snake. The ribs show no indication of limbs, so it probably had a dorsal fin similar to eels or sea kraits.

One thing I’ve noticed about the Gargantuan’s ribcage is the existence of what appear to be bony, avian-like uncinate processes, which help the trunk’s muscles pump in and air out of the body, adding onto the idea that this leviathan breathed air. These uncinate processes in diving birds are especially long, which help reinforce the body and musculature, allowing the animal to stay underwater for longer periods of time.

My hypothesis for the role the Gargantuan Leviathan played in its ecosystem is similar to the Sperm Whales of our world, taking in large amounts of air before diving into the depths to fetch their food.

Next week, I’ll be doing more research into the skeleton and possibly beginning work on fleshing the Garg out! If there are any sciencey folks out on Tumblr who want to add their own input, feel free!! I want information!! Correct me if I got anything wrong!!

[xwingace]

I'm trying to figure out the ages of the Supacell main characters. Mainly because I'm finding it really hard for some of them to get a proper grip on that.

Dionne & Michael: We know how old these two are. We get Dionne's age given as 30 (birthdate in March 1994), and Michael can't be more than about a year older or younger because it's heavily implied they were in the same grade in school.

Sabrina is probably also around that age; maybe a little younger. 28-30 seems like a good age to get to Senior Nurse with a slight delay. She does come across a bit younger when dressed for clubbing, but I think it fits.

Sharleen is the younger sister. We're seeing her working on a dissertation, meaning she's working on a PhD? Or just a Master's? Which I think puts her in the 26-28 range depending on how long her chosen course was and how much delay was caused by her provably atrocious taste in boyfriends (not that Sabrina is much better there) I don't think these two are more than two or three years apart, either.

Andre is older; mid-thirties at least, probably even early '40s. Old enough to have a teenage son without having it be a teenage pregnancy on either his or Aisha's part

But those were the easy ones. The rest is a bit harder to estimate.

Krazy is probably mid-thirties. Not so old that the age difference between him and Sharleen gets really creepy, but a bit on the skeezy side none-the-less. I guess he could be a bit younger, but given that most of the gang he runs with is known as the 'olders' and they all look around that age, it seems a decent estimate.

Rodney could be anywhere between about 17 and 25, depending on exactly when 'getting a hostel at 16' actually happened. I'm going for 22-ish, so on the older end of that because he refers to Tazer as a 'street kid', implying Tazer is younger even. Also I don't buy Calvin as a teenager still. But he's definitely on the young side in his 20's

And then Tazer. Tazer is the hardest to estimate for me. We get Rodney's implication of 'street kid' and he does look very young when he's taking care of his grandmother, but he does a pretty damn good job of projecting bulk and menace otherwise, making him look a bit older. He's still pretty cut up about his mother leaving -- and on rewatch, that happened a lot more recently than I first thought. I thought it was about two years prior, but it could be as little as 6 months or so. Although the most recent picture we see of Tazer and his mother does at least still feature Josh Tedeku as Tazer, and not the younger teenager we see in another pic. Which just makes it harder to tell Tazer's age, really. So although I don't really buy it from the actor, Tazer could be as young as 18. Ultimately I think I'd put his age at around 20 but I'm definitely open to other arguments.