#I didn't really say anything of substance either

[odamnbrien]

I wanted to contribute something to @sincerely-us's DEH closing tribute, but, unfortunately, I am neither an artistic (in any way, shape, or form), nor a writer.

Still, I couldn't pass on the chance to talk a bit about Connor. The real Connor, not made-up-by-Evan-and-everyone-else-Connor (although he's a delight). Because he's my favorite character. Even if he was only there for a blink-and-you-miss-it moment.

I haven't been in the DEH fandom for long to be exact, just a little over a month (and the show's closing, I have impeccable timing). But when I watched the show (knowing the basic story but none of the character's name), it took me about 5 seconds to fall for Connor, and another 5 to understand that, as my favorite character, he was the one who was doomed to die.

Doomed is not exactly the right word. Connor wasn't doomed, because not everything was darkness, there was also light (the cast-signing scene was both beautiful and heartbreak), and therefore, there was hope (thank god for fanfiction writers who exploit that).

Anyway, I digress. What I mean to say is that in what little time Connor was actually there and alive, he felt exactly like that to me. Alive. Complex. Fully fleshed-out and real, not just a character from a play that is going to be over in 2 hours. He felt (feels) like someone I might have gone to school with. Someone I would have cared to know, but not necessarily have gotten the chance to (I don't pretend to be any better than the characters in the play, and I can be an anxious mess).

I enjoyed the entirety (well, almost) of the play. I could talk at length about the different characters, the songs, and even the clothes. But still, I always go back to talking about Connor. I rejoice in the bread crumbs of information we got about Connor, continously feel a bit angry at the idea that no one seemed to truly like him, and get really, really sad that no one remembers the TRUE Connor. Not even the audience, because we barely got to know him. Evan reading Connor's favorite books really got to me for that very reason.

Connor is MY type of character. The dark, sad, angry, beautiful, tragic character. The type fix-it fics exist for. The one I end up focusing on and loving more than any other. For this reason, I would like to believe that I would have ended up loving him regardless of who played him the day I went to see him. But, let's be honest, each actor brings different nuances to the role and doesn't quite speak the lines quite the same way so the charactee can end up feeling quite different. I was so, so, so lucky that Noah Kieserman was my Connor. When Stephen Anthony left the show last week, he thanked Noah for "the unbelievable gift of [his] sensitive vulnerable Connor". And I could see that, truly. Thanks to him, that's how Connor will always be my mind.

[radiance1]

So, Ghost Prince Danny. Except that he also, ALSO, is Damian's younger twin brother who was sent to keep an eye on the Fentons because of their discovery of a substance that looked like Lazarus Water yet isn't Lazarus water.

In truth, it was really just Talia's way of getting Danny out of the way because he lost against Damian in the battle of heirs (No Danny did not hold back, Damian was just better than him) and she didn't want him dead so that was the next best thing.

Danny does pop up in the League at odd times, mostly to report about the research done by the Fentons. When he became half dead he's around a lot more, mostly to be monitored for his unique condition (somehow someway they don't know about Vlad) and because Danny can just come and go as he pleases cause ghost powers.

So, Danny gives Damian a flute that he handcrafted himself as a birthday present because really, what can he buy that Damian himself couldn't? Also, because he didn't actually want to spend money on his older brother.

They're brothers, but they don't have the most cordial relationship. They don't hate each other, but they don't like each other either.

So, Damian takes this flute and is like: "Fuck you gimmie this for I don't need this shit."

And then Danny is like: "Just take the gift you stupid ahh fruitloop."

So, Damian takes it while berating that Danny would give him something as stupid as this, but then does a full one 180 by keeping the thing on his person at all times.

Not that Danny knows that, really.

So, cut forth to Damian being known by Batman and taken in. Trying to kill Tim and being an overall little shit, I can see one of the Batfam coming across this flute just, randomly really, and then Damian is fucking pissed that they dared to touch it and then takes it back.

Leaving basically everyone stumped over the significance this random ahh wooden flute has but decides not to touch that landmine.

So then the Batfam don't know that Damian has a half sibling (Danny came from Jack and Talia, so he isn't blood related to Bruce but is to Damian) running around out there and Damian isn't gonna say anything and you already know Talia isn't since Danny AIN'T his kid.

Plus, he got a job to do that being with Bruce Wayne would make harder.

So then Damian becomes robin an allat, then the entire Batfam pull up to the Justice League for some big threat and then both Constantine and Zatanna are like: Yo why do you kid carry round an item drenched heavily in death energy to the extreme

Batman is obviously like: Excuse me?

Damian, meanwhile, just does not give a fuck about the flute given to him by his half-brother on his birthday is apparently drenched in death energy to the extreme because that is his and he isn't going to just give it up.

So then one way or another Damian ends up playing it, maybe he was told to play it by both Batman and Constantine just to make sure it isn't actually anything dangerous or whatever and also because Damian wouldn't let anyone else hold it, let alone play it.

Which Damian smirks at because he's played it before and literally nothing happened aside from very good music, but Damian hasn't played it since he came to the Wayne household and has missed it. So he reminisces over how he got it, thinking of his half-brother and their relationship.

He plays it, but this time, since he genuinely thought about Danny death energy just condenses in waves. Damian couldn't see it since he was too focused on playing and reminiscing, everyone isn't really that calm and tries to get him to stop but the death energy blocks them.

Then a summoning circle appears in front of Damian and Constantine recognizes it as being from the Infinite Realms category and it seemed to be a high-level summon circle too so he's like: Well fuck.

Then, contrary to their expectations of some eldritch abomination, it's just Danny. Who, fun fact, was in the middle of his coronation as prince and such, dripped out in royal wear.

Safe to say, Constatine goes: Well double fuck.

The tension is just broken, as all Danny does is cry. Like, genuinely, he just cries because Damian still kept his flute that he made, he genuinely thought the guy just threw it away since he hated it so much.

Danny: Ancients, my big brother actually liked what I made this is making me emotional.

Damian: Why the hell are you crying this thing is still trash btw.

Danny: Yea whatever you say big bro, you love it.

Batman: What do you mean big brother?

Danny: Who in the hell is that-

Damian: Right, I never told him about you.

[abbeym28]

Clarisse La Rue - Between the Breaths

Clarisse x gn! reader

An- Over 3.4k on this one!!! It didn't really take me that long to write it either! Thank you for all of the notes on I'm Your Man, it means a lot to me! Also, if anyone has request for any Clarisse or Luke fanfics, I would be happy to hear them even though I have no clue on how to do requests lol

Warnings- Training, weapons, somewhat gruesome part but really at all, Clarisse being friends with most of the Aphrodite cabin, reader can be from any cabin!! Pls let me know if I missed something!!

Clarisse La Rue had been at Camp Half blood for awhile, and it's safe to say that she has seen a lot of things. Good things, pretty things, but also gruesome things, things that would break a normal person if they weren't strong.

But she was strong.

Just not as much when it comes to you.

You, who the moon and sun seemed to shine on in a whole different light then it did on the rest of camp. You, whose kindness had reached almost every demigod, each of which likes you in their own way for their own reason. You, who was the most beautiful person Clarisse has ever seen.

Except she couldn't ever get too close to you, or have a conversation with you that was long, for she was Clarisse La Rue, child of Ares, the favorite daughter of a man who didn’t like his kids. And you, you were just too good for her. But she would never let a crush like this weigh on her the way it had started to, so she found a good way to regulate it all.

It was fighting, of course.

She let out a battle cry as she stabbed her spear into the ground, getting annoyed at how the other camper had rolled out of the way instead of letting her stab them. Sounds of other kids also fighting in the training ground filled her ears and she could distantly pick up the smell of food. She could thank the instincts she got from her god-parent as she went in for another attack (this time one that would actually hit), but a yell stopped her before she could go through with it.

“Hey! Anyone who wants a snack can take one!” Luke Castellan stood off to the side with his arms crossed, and standing right next to him holding a tray, was you.

Younger campers ran over to the two of you, while older ones opted to walk or to pick up dangerous weapons that had been discounted to the ground.

Clarisse scoffed and began to walk the other way, clenching her gifted spear tightly in her hand. She was stomping down the path through the forest that led to her special spot, her favorite tree, but the sound of running footsteps from behind her made her slow down and lighten her steps.

She twirled around, spear at the ready to go through a neck, but it was your neck in which the spear was now pointed at. And, surprise surprise, your neck was attached to the rest of your body.

The back of her neck and the tips of her ears began to feel hot, the type of burning she swore she could only feel whenever she entered the Hephaestus cabin to complain about her faulty armor. Or whenever she was close to you at the bonfire nights. She lowered her spear a bit and her stance faltered.

“Oh, um, I was just.... Is this a bad time?”

“No, it’s not.” She dropped the spear from the attack mode and turned around, continuing down the path. You followed after her, balancing the last few snacks still on the tray you were holding as you awkwardly stepped over tree trunks and discarded branches.

“Well, I was just wondering if you wanted anything to eat, considering that you're, like, the most hard working person in training and stuff. You definitely need substances so you can keep your muscles. ” Wow, you definitely knew exactly how and what to say to a kid of Ares.

“I don’t need a snack from you.” Gods, she hoped you picked up more on the sarcasm and not the accidental longing that had slipped out.

“Clarisse-” -she almost melted with how you had said her name- “-You were training really hard for a pretty long time. You should- you need to eat something!”

“I don’t need to do anything that you or anyone else tells me to!” She whirled around, getting very close to you as you halted, but taking a few steps back as a precaution. She glared at you, and you could feel her heavy breaths on your neck. You were looking down on her thanks to the hill, but despite that she was still pretty intimidating.

And just pretty.

Her eyes flickered to the snacks, and then they flickered back up to meet yours.

“If I take one, can you leave?” You brightened at her question.

“Of course!” She hesitantly took one, and before she turned around, you could have sworn that you heard her whisper a “Thank you, angel.” Your cheeks felt strangely warm as you made your way back to camp.

Throwing down another broken dagger, Clarisse groaned. The dummy she had destroyed was laying in shreds on the ground in front of her, and she was beginning to feel bad for whoever would have to stitch it back up. Someone began to clap behind her and her eye twitched.

“I think you got ‘em!” Selena Beauregard, daughter of Aphrodite, called from the sidelines.

“What do you want?” Clarisse called back, grabbing another dagger from the closest weapons rack near her. Silena watched as she twirled it around a few times.

“I’m here to ask you about something.” there was a strange sly smirk that situated on Silena’s face, that no matter what reputation the Aphrodite kid was, other campers knew that was the universal sign to run away.

Clarisse sighed and crossed her arms, the dagger she was holding pointing to the ground. She quirked her eyebrow as a way to say “go ahead”.

“We know you have a crush.” All of the sudden, at least six other kids that Clarisse could recognize as from the Aphrodite cabin jumped out of the bushes and came rushing towards Clarisse.

That was how she died.

Okay, so she definitely didn’t die, but dying was definitely better than being forced onto a pink chair inside the even pinker walls of the goddess of love's cabin.

Could’ve Clarisse fought of all of them and then report them to Chiron? Yes. But she just really didn't feel up to using that much energy on a bunch of perfect haired people. And besides, the amount of strength they had did impress her, so she was going to give it to them just this once.

A twelve year old girl was holding onto her right hand, delicately and perfectly brushing on a coat of black nail polish onto her freshly buffed nails.

Clarisse tried to pay attention to everything that the girl was doing, but the distracting amount of sets of eyes on her made it hard to do so. Even so, this was the first time someone had ever painted her nails for her.

“Got the ice cream!” Mitchell, one of the only sons of the love goddess came through the cabin doors, and he was met with cheers from every magenta cabin corner.

It took a minute or two until a bowl was eventually passed to Clarisse, but it was snatched away by the girl doing her nails. She wrinkled her nose at her, and the girl stuck out her tongue as response.

“So,” Silena started off, pausing to take a bite of the ice cream. “Want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know what your talking about.” Clarisse stayed stubborn, but she most definitely knew what she was talking about.

“Girl, we see how you get whenever they are around. Do you for real think that we are all stupid?” Another voice piped in from a random bunk bed to Clarisse’s left.

“Who?” She paid hyper attention to how the girl had finished working on her ring finger and was now moving onto her middle one. Shouts of your name rang out under the tall ceiling and Clarisse immediately tensed up.

“I do not have a crush on them.” She scoffed, but everyone else noticed the shakiness in her voice and they all exchanged knowing glances and smiles.

“You soooooo do! And that's why we’re helping you!” Voices of agreement chimed in with their two senses.

“We see how you look at them!”

“Yeah, and there's, like, a certain tension that comes around whenever you guys pass by each other! It’s soooo cute!”

“With our help, there's gonna be no way that they aren't in love with you!” Clarisse glared at the direction the voice came from.

“You don’t think they aren't already in love with me?” It didn’t seem to far of base, since Clarisse herself didn’t believe you were, or that you would ever be. But hearing a bunch of Aphrodite kids practically admit to it hit a bit different.

“I think they like you.” Silena said. Some other kids quickly agreed.

“They get pretty nervous when you're around, and they seek you out whenever there's gatherings. Even when they don’t go up to you, they get more relaxed whenever they see you.” A girl, no older than eight, spoke up from a lower bunk. She was laying her stomach and coloring on a piece of paper while kicking her feat. Everyone turned towards her, questions in the air. The girl looked up and shrugged. “We make paper stars together.” And then she went back to doodling.

Clarisse chuckled. She was not going to underestimate an Aphrodite kid again.

Then, there was a knock on the door. You poked your head through the cracked open door and smiled at everyone.

“Hey, I was just wondering if- Clarisse!” You got more fidgety once you had noticed Clarisse in the chair.

She jumped up and rushed past you and out of the cabin. Shouts of “hey!” rang out from behind her, the most prominent one coming from the girl who was working on her nails.

The next morning while getting breakfast, Clarisse could admit to herself that she was most definitely a fool.

With one hand of painted nails and the knowledge that she had run away from you, she would much rather stay in her fathers dedicated cabin and not anywhere where the kids from last night could find her.

She set her breakfast down at Ares’s assigned table, making sure that her manicure stayed unaffected. A flowery scent passed behind her, and a note was softly dropped onto the spot in front of her. Once she opened it, the note on the inside read : ”Try flexing at training today! ~ Silena + Aphrodite cabin” Followed by a winky and kissy face.

The last thing Clarisse wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of more than just you and one cabin. She was for sure going to look stupid showing off the muscles she had gained over the years, but maybe she was always a fool after she caught you looking at her while she stretched.

Training seemed to go by fast that day, and by the end of it she was sweating hard under the sun's glare. She placed her spear down on a bench and sat on the ground, trying to catch her breath from all of the extra moving she had done.

“Clarisse!” Oh boy, she knew that voice. You jogged over to her, a water bottle and towel in your hands. She got up off of the ground, making sure to purposely move her arms in just the right way. While she couldn't say that she was an expert on your expressions, she could say that you looked almost breathless.

“Oh-um, these are for you.” She smiled at you and took the two things from you and in an instant gulped down almost half of the water. You tilted your head to the side a bit.

“Only one of your hands is painted?” She raised her eyebrow before realizing that you meant her nail polish.

“Oh, yeah. I… I don’t really like sitting down for that long.” You nodded your head.

“That makes sense. That happens to me a lot.”

“Sooo, I’ll see you later?” Her simple question seemed to make you brighten up, and you watched as she picked up her spear and moved to go in the direction back to camp. She looked over her shoulder and winked at you, all while making sure to hold her weapon in a way to bring attention to her biceps and back.

The fire in the pit got higher as Clarisse poked around in it to make sure that it would keep burning. You were across from her on the bench on the other side, talking to two of her brothers and sisters, and whenever she would catch a glimpse of you she would take it as a sign to add to the fire.

The way her siblings were getting close to you, and the way that you would laugh and allow them to touch your arm. It left a burning feeling in her heart, and a sinking feeling in her stomach.

She focused on running her fingers over the thick stick that was used to help the fire.

“Clarisse?” Gods, your voice saying her name had to be her most favorite thing about her life, and for her to just hear like, you must really have a tight hold on her- her eyes flickered up, and there you were, standing in front of her, fidgeting with something small in your hands. “I got some black nail polish from Silena, and I was- I was wondering if I could paint your other hand?”

Clarisse was taken aback. But still, she sat up straighter and moved over a bit. “Oh, yeah, sure.”

You excitedly sat next to her and reached over for her hand. She put her hand into yours, and it felt as if the fire had gotten hotter, and as if fireworks were going off over your heads.

She watched as you focused and delicately worked on her left hand. Your work wasn't as precise as the other girl had been, but for some reason she enjoyed this more, with how your hands would shake and a deep frown would mark your lips in that way that if Clarisse knew that you liked her as she liked you, she would lean over and kiss you until you couldn't even frown.

Clarisse La Rue was most definitely in love with you.

Over the next weeks, you and Clarisse had gotten closer, but never close enough.

Whenever she wanted to hold your hand, she opted to fix your sleeve or to situate her hand on the small of your back.

Whenever you wanted to grab her and then kiss her till you couldn’t breath, you opted to fix her armor.

But despite all of the things the two wanted, you continued to dance around each other in a way that even Luke was getting tired of. But things changed after Clarisse had that dream.

The sky was clear, and it was a perfect night to have a picnic on the beach. Clarisse had provided the blanket and the food, and all you had to do was show up and give her the attention that she had been craving while she was too busy.

Things were getting more dangerous around camp, monsters getting closer to the barrier and less new kids showing up for that reason.

Clarisse could fight monsters all day everyday, but it was these nice nights that allowed her to get back the drive to do so. She was close to convincing you to just spend the night sleeping with her in her cabin, not caring how many rules that could potentially break. But if she wouldn’t get that, then she would have to love this. It wasn’t a hard task, considering that anything that had to do with you was something that she would love.

She felt you snuggle in closer to her side, and her heart soared as her arm tightened around your waist.

“It’s pretty cold, isn’t it?” you whispered, and she could feel your breath against her neck.

“Yeah, but the moon looks beautiful, right?” She whispered back and you grinned.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” She gently pulled off one of your arms that was around her to take your hand in hers, leading you into a simple type of slow dance waltz. She had never danced before, nor had she ever been taught, but she would do anything for you.

The two of you laughed gently, especially once one of you accidentally stepped on the other's foot. When it was nearing the early hour of one, she led you to sit back onto the blanket.

“I'm gonna find you a pearl.” She promised against your lips as you held her closely to yours. You brought her into a kiss, the best and most slow and sensual kiss she would probably ever experience. Once you drew away from her, you laughed a bit.

“Okay, good luck my love.” And so she bounded towards the water, wading in right at the spot she knew clams and oysters were.

Right when she was bending to pick one up, a scream peirced through the darkness.

Your scream.

You were yelling her name, and Clarisse dropped everything to try to make it to you faster. A cyclops had you in its grip and you were struggling greatly.

She wanted to shout that she had no weapon, and that you would have to use the power in which you had gotten from your godly parent.

But she didn’t shout, and she didn't move.

She just watched as you got eaten.

Clarisse woke up with a start, sweat clinging to what felt like every cell of her skin. She flipped off the blankets of her bed and jumped up.

Nobody else had woken up because of her yet, thank the gods. She wanted to see you, to take you in her arms and know that you were alright, and to tell you that she was sorry that she was so weak. But that wasn’t something she should do, and she knew that.

She sighed and sat pack onto her bed, running her hand down her face. There was no way she could be around you right now.

It was later that night in which you were finally able to track Clarisse down as she was sitting outside of her cabin.

“Clarisse, you skipped all of our meals together. Are you okay?” You were about to go sit next to her but she got up and began walking towards the forest.

You followed after her, speed walking to keep up. “Clarisse, wait! If something happens, we can talk- woah!” You were going down the path that you had followed her down so long ago, and while you weren't paying attention to where you were walking, you tripped over an arm of a tree that had fallen to the ground.

Clarisse whirled around and caught you before you could touch the ground, and you held onto her arms tightly to ground yourself.

“Wow it was a good thing you were there, Clarisse, or else-” but once you met her eyes, they looked watery. “Oh, honey, what happened?”

No tears had fallen, no matter how hard it looked as she was holding it all in. You reached out your hand and gently caressed along her cheek.

She then pulled you into a hug worthy of a bear, and while you couldn't hear her crying, you could feel the damp that had started to soak through the fabric of your shirt. She held you tight;y as you began to softly draw shapes onto her back, mostly hearts.

“I, I had a dream, and you died, and I love you, and I’m sorry I'm this weak and-”

”Shhh, shh, it's okay, hun. You are not weak at all, and you are justified in whatever you're feeling, okay? And… I love you too” You whispered the last part as she sniffled and pulled away from you a bit.

You looked into each other's eyes for a bit, and you found yourself falling into and appreciating her gorgeous brown eyes. She pulled you closer, and then she pulled you into a kiss.

Your arms moved to be around her neck as her hands that grip your hips loosened the more you both melted into each other. As you pulled away, doubt seemed to fall across her face.

“Are you sure you-” But before she could say anything more, you grabbed the front of her shirt to bring her into a second kiss, one that was just as good as the first one, if not better.

“I love you. And your muscles.” A grin broke across Clarisse’s face.

“I love you too.”

And then going in for a third kiss, she made a mental note to give thanks to the Aphrodite cabin kids. 

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 3 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 4

"So, have you heard of the new girl?" Regina asked, twirling a lock of hair on her finger.

You were still sitting on the couch several hours later. It was beginning to get dark.

"Caty Heron or something?"

"Cady, yes. What do you think of her?" Regina bit her bottom lip, sucking it and chewing at it in her mouth. Back when you were younger, her mom would've chastised her. Mrs George was lax about a lot of things, but she could not stand fidgeting. Nowadays, though, you doubted she had the heart to say anything negative to her daughter.

"I..." You tilted your head, thinking. "I don't really think of her. We're in the same calc class and she seems smart. Talks to Aaron a lot."

"Does she?" Regina narrowed her eyes and huffed. "I thought so."

"What? Don't tell me you're still hung up on Aaron Samuels. C'mon." You scoffed. "That dude, pretty as he is-" You knocked at your head. "All fluff, no substance. Hollow."

"Oh, because you would know so much about guys." Regina crossed her arms and stared at you petulantly.

"Yes, I would. I'm practically one of them." You shrugged nonchalantly. "By the way, shouldn't you get home?"

Regina didn't answer and just looked at you. You looked back, unsure of what she was thinking. You glanced around, wondering if you'd missed something.

"You're still- I mean, you're... A lesbian." She said slowly as if it were a curse word.

You laughed before answering. "Yes, Regina, I am still a lesbian. Just like I told you I was back then." You frowned. "Is there, like, a problem?"

"No." She said simply, but it didn't seem particularly truthful. "You don't know about what happened with Janis, then?"

"No, I just know she had to switch schools. Why, was it something you did?"

"No." Again, didn't seem too truthful. "I don't have a problem with you being a lesbian."

Clearly, she was uncomfortable talking about it. Still, something was off. You were almost certain Regina had had something to do with Janis leaving. She was probably lying to you.

"You're not going home for dinner then." Better to drop it for now. It wouldn't do either of you any good to push her. "Will your dad be mad?"

"As if he even notices I'm gone," She rolled her eyes, settling more comfortably on the couch. "He's always on the phone."

"I have frozen pizzas we could pop in the oven."

"I'm not eating that processed shit. We're ordering in."

"Reg, I can't order takeout 'til dad sends me more money."

"I'm paying, dummy, don't even worry about it." She pushed off the couch and walked to the kitchen. You trailed after her. "Where are the menus?"

"There should be some in the cabinet over there."

The evening turned to night with you two on the couch, chatting and eating pizza. The TV was turned on eventually. Adult Swim was playing some anime about cowboys in space, but neither of you was really watching.

You'd missed her so much. You didn't like thinking about it much, but that was the truth. You'd missed her for even longer than the two years you'd been officially cut off from her life. She'd started pulling away long before the silent treatment began. You didn't like thinking about how much it had hurt, how you'd felt your world go bleak when she rejected you. You'd never been one for confrontation, that was Regina's job, so talking to her about the why and how of it all had never felt like an option.

You'd eventually gotten the hint. And now, after all this time, after she had left you so easily, you were letting her back in just as easily. As if you were back in that time, sitting in the sandbox peacefully making castles when she came up behind you, pulled at one of your pigtails, and demanded you share your buckets and shovel. You were helpless against her force.

There was probably something deeply unhealthy about your friendship. She was probably only coming back because it was convenient for her. She wasn't interested in making amends- hell, she probably didn't even think there was anything to amend, in the first place.

This had been the way you two had been since forever. Her ploughing through anybody in her way, you clinging to her as she went, just as much of a victim and a perpetrator.

The Regina you missed was the impression of a girl, braces on her teeth, grass stains on her sundress, and laughter on her lips. The Regina that perhaps, maybe, probably was still hidden somewhere in her, but at the same time was just not her. Who she was now, who you were now, were so utterly different from back then.

Watching her face, illuminated blueish by the light from the TV, so much older but still soft and young, framed by naturally blonde hair but bleached a lighter shade, you made your peace. You were probably being way too dramatic about all this, but it felt like a big moment in your half-baked teenage brain. You would take her back every time. You would let her leave every time. You would stay in place while she explored the world, and if she deigned to come back, you'd be waiting.

"Hey, Reg," You said, quiet but not exactly a whisper.

"What?" She looked up at you, just bent over the coffee table grabbing another slice of pizza.

"I missed you." You said, so earnestly it sounded jarring to even your ears.

She scrunched up her nose. "'Cause I bought you pizza?"

"Yeah," You laughed. "That too."

If you hadn't been looking so closely, you might've missed the brief lapse in her armour. It was in the softening at the corners of her eyes, in the slackening of her face, the give in her spine. Something like affection, like she'd missed you too.

"You're a weirdo."

You only laughed more.

The moment passed and you continued eating and talking and watching TV. You must've fallen asleep at some point after Regina went to remove her makeup. Eventually, you couldn't tell when, you woke up to the sun shining through the blinds right into your eyes.

Shit. It was Monday. You pawed around yourself for your phone, flipped it open, and checked the time. Shit, indeed. You nudged Regina with your toe.

"Reg..." She didn't even stir. "Reg!" You pushed harder, causing her to groan and whine.

"What? Five... M're mins..." She mumbled into the cushion, curling up tighter.

"We're late for school, Reggie, c'mon we gotta go." You momentarily contemplated if it was worth even going in. Your dad would be busting a lung at the missed calc class anyway. But did you want to give him more reasons to yell at you? No, not really.

"I gotta go, c'mon." You moved towards her and really shook her.

"What?" She grumped at you. To be honest, it was really cute. She had dust around her eyes, sleep still lingering in her limbs. You'd touched her shoulder, covered by the knit blanket you'd given her last night, but you could feel how warm she was.

"School. It's Monday morning, sleepyhead."

It took no more than that for the reality to set in for her. Cursing up a storm and running around like a headless chicken, Regina tried gathering all her things that'd somehow ended up scattered around the night before. Her perfume was in the alcove by the front, her charger in the kitchen, hairbrush in the bathroom.

"Do you want a ride?" You asked before heading upstairs to change. Couldn't go to school in just Spiderman boxers.

"I have nothing to wear!" She screeched, glaring at you as if you'd caused this. She was the one who wanted to stay the night, jeez.

You held up your hands in surrender. "You can borrow some of my stuff."

"As if you have anything remotely fitting. You dress like a hobo." She said all that while climbing up the stairs past you, heading for your room. "A hobo with a liking to grunge music, nonetheless."

You walked after her, listening but not feeling the need to add anything. Once she got to your door and you went to follow, she whirled around.

"Uh, I'm gonna change." She sassed, though the intimidation was made less effective by the bareness of her face and the messiness of her hair. You smiled and gestured for her to go on.

"Be my guest." As if she needed the invitation.

To her credit, it didn't take long for her to pick something to wear, wash her face, and do her hair. In the meantime, you used the hallway bathroom to freshen up yourself. She stepped out wearing the same white tank top as the night before, over it a short-sleeve button-down in a glossy, satin black, and a black skirt she'd probably found at the very back of your closet. The button-down was neatly cinched around her waist and the skirt discreetly rolled up to be shorter than it really was.

The shirt was probably the nicest thing you owned. Something a relative had gotten you for your birthday. Versace or something like that.

"I'm going to have to go to school in sneakers, jorts." She pointed at you accusingly, leaning over threateningly where you sat on the floor. You looked up at her and just shrugged. What could you do?

She rolled her eyes and waved you away. You took the cue that it was your turn. You didn't bother closing the door behind you. Some wash jeans from the back of your desk seemed clean enough. You sniffed them just in case. Not too funky, but definitely not fresh. They'd have to do. You chucked the hoodie, sprayed on some deodorant, and replaced it with a short-sleeve flannel. You looked into the mirror and checked your hair was okay before grabbing your backpack.

"Okay, let's go." You turned to see Regina staring at you incredulously.

"That's it? That's your morning routine?" Leaning against the doorway, you couldn't help but notice she looked fantastic. It was a real talent of hers, looking so good all the time.

"Usually, I'd eat breakfast." You herded her out of the door. "Do you need to get your things?" She probably didn't have any of her school stuff.

"No, I didn't unpack my purse before coming here." She said, checking said bag as she did. "I'll do my makeup in the car, drive sensibly."

"Psh, as if you need to tell me. You're the speed demon, from what I've heard."

"There's nothing wrong with the way I drive, grandma."

"Until you get your license revoked, speedster."

Needless to say, Regina was not impressed by your 2001 Corolla. And though she complained the whole way to school, she still sat in the front seat, doing her makeup, there was no heat behind her words. You arrived in the middle of the third period. Nobody was out and about, much to Regina's relief. You parted ways with a wiggle of her fingers and a finger salute from you. You sat in the car for a moment, just breathing and thinking.

She didn't say thank you, didn't say she had a good time, didn't even bother pretending she'd enjoyed your company. It seemed like a relief she was finally getting away from you. Was that how she felt?

Now that your friendship had progressed beyond small talk while you worked and pleasantries over dinner, being ignored at school felt a lot more hurtful.

It was sobering, how she could goss and laugh with you on your couch and then act as if being seen with you in public was social suicide.

What made it feel even worse was that it was true. If Regina was seen hanging around you, god knows what the piranhas that were the student body would do. It would end with either or both of you ostracized or worse. Regina could bend minds and shift opinions like it was a superpower, but even she had her limits.

You got out of the car, locked it, and ambled towards Spanish class.

Notes:

Comment/reply to this post if you want to be added to the taglist.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism, @9unknown0, @sage-rose2000, @massive-honkas, @nattys-swiftie

[cinnamonest]

Can we talk about boobs? 👀 like im wondering if the boys are crazy over em or not since it's like... both intimate and perverted at the same time or one or either

Like it can also be super embarrassing for the reader when she's getting the life sucked out of her tits for like... minutes on end?? Just trying to pry these virgin boys off. It's also not "pleasurable" for either party in the sense that it gets you to climax (unless perhaps we're talking about Albedo who is insane), but if you're a horny yan boy you might not care

The Albedo slander I can't— but you're right he can and will get you to cum from nothing but sucking on your tits, no matter how many tries and experimentation with various substances it takes. Which you find laughable, mockingly tell him that he as an academic should know women don't work like that… until he makes it happen and you eat your words, somehow. It's equally humiliating for you as it is amusing for him… the sly you were saying? as you lay there shivering and panting makes you all flustered, turning your face away to bury into the pillow.

But hear me out — the animal boy club, most of them at least, have a predisposition to titty affinity.

Gorou and Tighnari experience this the most strongly. Stronger primal mammalian instincts mean he has a much stronger drive than a normal human man to very specifically be drawn to indicators of fertility and suitableness for reproduction and healthy offspring. Regardless of size, your breasts automatically send off all the right signals when he lays eyes on them — milk for the offspring, a good breedable mate… it's torturous that they're right there yet human social conventions demand he can't do anything.

Animals don't really have a sense of shame in that regard, so there's less natural inhibition holding him back, he has to make an active effort to remind himself that he can't just walk right up to you and sniff at you, press his face into your chest… the thought of how embarrassing it would be in hindsight is all that's holding him back.

Once things develop, though, and he has you behind closed doors and available, he can't keep his mouth off of them. It feels natural, instinctive, popping your nipple into his mouth and suckling like that for ages — he could keep going forever if you didn't stop him eventually.

The downside of this is that you have to remind them to be careful… it turns out they both have some rather pointy teeth. Dogs have more rounded teeth, but still a powerful biting force that you have to watch out for, whereas fox teeth are much sharper. He's being careful, promise! It's just very easy to get lost in the bliss of the moment and maybe start to nibble a bit too hard, making you jolt and squeal… except the high-pitched sound and the feeling of struggling against him mimics a little prey animal fighting back, and that triggers a whole new set of instincts, now you have much worse problems as you're getting bitten everywhere else, jaw locking down to hold you still as he ruts into you.

Razor has the exact inverse going on. Sure, he's technically not any more naturally inclined towards it than an average human, but his upbringing has long since wired the proclivity into his head. Thing is, with she-wolves, theirs swell outward from the body only once they're pregnant, so for him, seeing human breasts, which are constantly in a state of being pronounced from the rest of the body, might as well be a perpetual onslaught of blatantly provocative imagery.

Unlike the other two, though, he has the exact opposite degree of inhibition. He got the whole “personal space” talk already once or twice, he just… forgets.

However, unfortunately, by the time you meet him, no one has given him the “inappropriate staring” talk yet, so the moment you're introduced by the knights, you see his eyes widen, his head tilts slightly downward, his gaze fixates, and… stays there. No shame, no attempt to conceal what he's looking at, mouth slightly ajar in a dumbstruck stupor. You pause in confusion when he slowly reaches his hand up and out, fingers stretched out as if to grab something, only to be stopped at the last second by one of the knights who spotted the incoming social disaster just in time, grabbing him by the wrist and trying to change the subject with an awkward laugh.

Once he has you to himself, though, he develops a fixation with them. He will come up to you and just sort of… plant his face in the middle, like recharging energy, nuzzling and, to your dismay, sometimes trying to chomp down on them, which you have to actively discourage. During your naps in the sun, you often find yourself waking up to the sudden sucking sensation — and he’s relentless about it too, latching on firmly and refusing to let go. He’s a bit disappointed to learn that no milk comes out, though, at least not yet.

Xiao is the exception to this natural affinity — avians don’t nurse, so it’s a bit of a foreign concept… but the human form is still drawn to it. Except he’s more fond of them for softness, so once he’s more comfortable with touch (which does take a while), he tends to use them as a pillow, opting to rest his head on them for long periods of time. It’s comforting in a way that he can’t really articulate, it just makes him feel at ease.

And then there’s the staring — he’s more accustomed to human norms and social etiquette than Razor, he just sort of… gets distracted for a moment. You just bend forward in just the right way, or perhaps take a bouncing step or come down a flight of stairs, and it just grabs his attention to such an extent that there’s a solid few seconds where he’s left dumbstruck and completely captivated, trailing off anything he was saying, just staring downward in a slack-jawed daze… until you wave your hand in front of his face and he snaps out of it, going fully red in the face. You say you don’t mind, but that only serves to make him more embarrassed…

[sturnioloskyline]

smoke sesh

pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader

warnings: use of marijuana, awkwardness, making out, not proofread

summary: you decide it’s finally time to smoke weed. you’re inexperienced, but maybe your dealer, chris, can guide you through it.

a nervous pit began to form in y/n's stomach as she paced around her bedroom. for the first time in a while, she was expecting a guest.

y/n's personal life was rough at the moment. she just moved out of her parents' house to live on her own, she was struggling to find what she wanted to do with her life, and, on top of it all, her love life was going terribly.

she tried it all — dating apps, clubs, frat parties, coffee shops — y/n couldn't seem to find love anywhere. her friends even tried to set her up, but all of her dates ended the same: y/n either had no interest in the men she was set up with or got horribly mistreated by them. all that y/n had been dreaming of recently was a hot guy who also happened to not be an asshole, but that seemed to be a rarity these days.

overall, y/n had been down in the dumps and was in desperate need of a pick-me-up. that was when she remembered her best friend recommending a soothing solution.

...

"seriously, it just makes you feel... better," y/f/n explained, sitting next to y/n on her bed.

"i don't know. it just makes me nervous, i guess, losing control." y/n said to her friend. "like i want to be in full control of my brain and my body at all times."

"you are in control. you're just less scared," y/f/n smiled at y/n. "y'know, i think you would really benefit from smoking weed."

y/n scoffed. she was an adult now, and she had never tried any substances before. she wasn't against recreational drugs, she just never had the urge to partake in them. "yeah right. as if you'd catch me casually with a blunt in hand."

y/f/n giggled at the image of her friend smoking. "yeah. but you would be a lot less stressed. if you ever change your mind, i have a dealer, just saying…"

y/n rolled her eyes. "yeah. I'll keep you posted."

...

and now here y/n was, in the middle of the night, chewing on her fingernails as she waited for a response from the man whose snapchat she'd gotten from her friend the other day.

y/n's phone pinged and she immediately brought the screen to her face to read the notification.

chris sturniolo

yeah i can be there soon

y/n's heart raced in anticipation. surprisingly, she was more excited than nervous. she'd been so tense, she was looking forward to anything that could take the edge off. y/n hearted the message and made her way to the kitchen so she could wait closer to the door.

y/n didn't really know what to expect for the interaction she was about to have. she assumed that it would just be like any other transaction: he'd show her the options, she'd pay him, and that would be that.

but as she waited, y/n grew more nervous about the purchase. she quickly pulled out her phone to google "what happens when you buy weed from a guy on snapchat", before she caught a glimpse of a certain notification.

chris sturniolo sent you a snap

y/n curiously clicked the notification, opening to a picture of chris in the driver's seat of his car, taken from his lap. he face hung over the camera but his blue eyes were focused on the road in front of him. his soft brown hair stuck out slightly under the grey beanie he was wearing, and a silver chain dangled from his neck.

y/n was left in awe. she didn't really know what she expected him to look like, but it was definitely not that. this guy looked good, the kind of look that made y/n's cheeks heat up from just one picture. y/n was only more anxious about the whole situation now that she knew a really cute guy was involved. before she even had time to process the whole thing, another notification pops up at the top of her screen.

chris sturniolo is typing...

y/n hesitated for a second before opening her chats with chris. he had only sent one word.

chris sturniolo

here

y/n silently cursed herself for her impulsiveness in inviting chris over. she was way too eager, and now everything was becoming way too real. soon enough y/n could hear footsteps outside her door, and three rapid knocks echoed in her ears. she apprehensively made her way to the door, opening it to reveal chris standing there with a backpack slung over one shoulder.

"hey."

"hi," y/n replied awkwardly, cracking her door farther open. chris took this as an invitation to step inside, and he walked in and glanced around the area.

"nice place." chris mumbled, making his way over to y/n's kitchen without any instruction. y/n just watched him as she locked her front door, unsure of what to do. chris took off his backpack and set it on the counter, beginning to take out various plastic baggies and laying them out.

"so... how does this work?" y/n asked, slowly approaching chris in the kitchen as she watched him move.

"um, what do you mean?" chris's eyebrows furrowed, but he kept his attention on the task at hand. y/n remained silent, unsure of how to answer. chris stopped and looked up at her. "have you ever bought weed before?"

"no..." y/n replied meekly, slightly embarrassed. chris chuckled and shook his head.

"well... do you know what you want?" chris asked. he tilted his head at y/n as she approached the counter, letting her take a look at the different strains, labeled by sharpie on the baggies.

“what’s the best one, for um, beginners?” y/n squeaked out, nervous under chris’s gaze.

chris walked up behind y/n, and placed his hands on the counter on either side of her waist. y/n breath hitched in her throat as she felt chris's abdomen press lightly against her back. he looked over y/n's shoulder at the bags on the counter sighing.

"i mean, personally, i don't think the strain matters," chris explained casually picking up a bag and examining the bud inside. "but i guess since you haven't tried anything before, you could try a hybrid first."

y/n nodded absentmindedly, not really focusing on what chris was saying. she was more focused on how his bicep slightly flexed as he flipped the bag of weed around in his hand, and the faint smell of cologne that wafted past her nose as she moved. her eyes drifted to his fingers, fiddling with the bag's seal. chris noticed, a small smile forming on his face.

"wanna try it right now?" chris asked, snapping y/n out of her trance.

"what? oh! um, yeah," y/n mumbled, stepping away from chris to face him. "uh, how much?"

chris chuckled and shook his head. "it's okay. on the house."

"oh no, you don't have to-"

"it's your first time, enjoy it." chris interrupted, setting the bag down on the counter and reaching into his bag for supplies.

y/n watched silently, butterflies swarming in her stomach. she had never felt this way about a guy before, let alone a guy she had just met who also happened to be dealing her drugs. it was something about the way chris's black tank top hugged his torso and the way his jeans hung low around his hips, revealing the waistline of his boxers. chris had undeniable sexual appeal, and y/n just couldn't help herself from feeling flustered around him.

chris pulled a grinder, rolling papers, filters and an ashtray out of his backpack. y/n finally ripped her eyes away from chris to focus on what he was doing. he took a bit of the weed and ground it down, turning his head quickly to glance back at y/n. he caught her watching him and flashed her a grin before focusing again. y/n blushed profusely.

a few minutes of comfortable silence passed as chris tightly rolled two joints, gliding his tongue along the wrapping paper to seal them. y/n was mesmerized, both by the meticulous process and the fact that chris was the one doing it. chris set down the joints and backed up from the counter.

"have you ever smoked anything before?" chris asked curiously, watching y/n's face. he could sense that she was nervous, from the way she was fidgeting to the way her voice was barely audible with every response she gave. y/n bit her cheek as she looked into chris's eyes, shaking her nead slowly. "do you want me to.. smoke with you?"

"would you?" y/n seemed to have a weight lifted off of her shoulders as soon as chris asked. the reaction made chris smile.

"yeah, of course," chris chuckled, sticking his hand in his jeans pocket and fishing out an orange lighter. "you're gonna want a water bottle or something."

y/n nodded, walking around to the fridge, grabbing two water bottles. she walked back over to chris's side, handing him a water bottle. chris flipped it in his hand effortlessly, thanking her soflty and picking up the ashtray, joints, and lighter in his other hand.

"is there a window we could sit by? don't wanna leave your place smelling too bad." chris looked around for a place to sit.

"yeah, here," y/n replied, turning around and leading chris to her living room. where she sat on a small couch just below a window. chris sat down next to her leaning over to the wall and helping her push the window open. they sat back down on the couch and faced each other as chris set down an ashtray on the coffee table in front of them. y/n took a deep breath as chris took a joint in his left hand, holding it between his thumb and pointer as he held his lighter in his other hand.

"okay. so," chris began explaining, looking at y/n's face as he did. y/n's eyes flicked up to meet his, and the two maintained eye contact as chris talked through the process. "i'll take puff first, i guess, to show you how."

y/n nodded, watching as chris brought the joint in front of his face and light it, bringing it down the tray and tapping it before bringing it between his pink lips. his cheeks hollowed as he took a long inhale. he took the joint out fo his mouth and passed it to y/n, who shakily took it in between her fingertips. chris's eyebrows furrowed from the slight sting of the smoke he was holding in his lung, watching y/n's hands to make sure that the joint stayed lit. he tilted his head to the window to release the smoke from his mouth, blowing it out into the night air. y/n watched the whole thing, only growing more anxious.

"so you just wanna inhale with it in your mouth, lightly," chris spoke, nodding to give y/n the go-ahead. y/n brought the joint up to her lips, her hand trembling. she stuck the joint in her mouth and tightly wrapped her lips around it.

"like this?" y/n mumbled around the joint. chris chuckled and brought his own hand to y/n's wrist.

"here, relax," chris moved y/n's hand away from her face a bit. "open your mouth more. just rest it there, gentle."

chris's voice was quiet as he readjusted y/n's form. she watched him as his face leaned in closer to her own. "better. now inhale."

y/n inhaled softly, feeling the smoke travel through her body, her throat scratching a bit.

"once it kinda burns, stop and hold it in your lungs." y/n brought the joint down, handing it to chris and holding her breath. her face scrunched up as she felt a burning sensation in her chest begin to grow. out of reflex, she quickly turned to the window and coughed out smoke. chris's hand flew out to her back for support. "woah! you okay?"

"yeah, just—" y/n cut herself off by coughing. chris kept his hand on the small of y/n back as she coughed. he set the joint down in the tray and reached over to grab a water bottle from the table, unscrewing it and bringing it up to y/n's lips, she reached out and took the bottle, taking a sip to sooth the fire in her lungs.

"it's okay, deep breaths, you'll be okay." chris murmured affirmations as y/n worked through her cough attack. eventually, y/n calmed down and brought her hand up to wipe the few tears that pricked at the corner of her eyes.

"i'm sorry, i think i inhaled too long," y/n chuckled awkwardly, embarrassed at herself for coughing like that in front of chris. it was then that y/n became hyperaware of chris's hand on her back, causing her to blush.

"it's okay, it happens to everyone," chris grinned at y/n, finding her shyness endearing. "we'll take it slow. you feelin' anything yet?"

"nope," y/n smiled awkwardly, watching as chris effortlessly took another hit. chris handed the joint back to her, and she took a short puff, blowing the smoke out the window with a few coughs.

"better!" chris grinned, causing y/n to giggle.

"thanks," y/n mumbled, taking another sip of water. chris tapped the joint against the ashtray and bringing it to his mouth. "so, when did you start smoking?"

chris chuckled at the icebreaker, smoke spewing out of his mouth. the two of them fell into small talk as they shared the joint, growing more and more comfortable with each other as they lazily passed the weed back and forth. suddenly y/n felt a wave wash over her, and her sensed heightened. her body stiffened, and chris noticed, his eyes flicking over her face.

"you okay?" chris asked for a second time, lightly reaching out and grazing his fingertips against y/n's arm.

"yeah..." y/n spoke lowly, her eyes landing on chris's. something about chris seemed different now. his features were more prominent and detailed, and she was definetly even more drawn to him. without thinking, she reached out and touched chris's silver chain, fiddling with it in her fingers, the sensation feeling unique. "chris?"

"yeah?" chris's voice was just above a whisper, his eyes not leaving y/n's face. something about the way her delicate hands pulled at his necklace made his breath hitch. he found himself craving her touch, but pushed the thought away, blaming it on the marijuana in his system.

"i think it's hitting me." y/n looked back up at chris, her eyes flicking between his. chris swallowed.

"how's it feel?"

"feels like... i'm in a dream," y/n spoke absentmindedly, not breaking eye contact with chris. chris smiled and nodded at her explanation. y/n couldn't help but smile back. "you're really sweet, chris."

"is that suprising?" chris asked, a heat slowly rising to his cheek at the compliment.

"yeah, kinda," y/n whispered. chris's eyes flicked to y/n's lips as she spoke, and before he could stop himself, chris was asking y/n a question.

"can i kiss you?"

y/n's jaw fell slightly open at the question, completely taken off guard. chris's own eyes widened, and he quickly pulled himself away from y/n, his face quickly reddening. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that out loud, i mean, i want to, i mean—!"

with a sudden boost of confidence, y/n leaned closer to chris and looked up at chris through her eyelashes, leaving chris too flustered to keep defending himself. "please kiss me."

chris needed no further encouragement, his hands finding y/n's face and pulling her up to meet him. his eyes quickly flicked to y/n's before he leaned in and pressed his lips to y/n's. his lips were surprisingly soft, moving slowly against y/n's. chris's tongue slipped past his lips, and y/n opened her mouth, allowing him in. y/n's hands moved to chris's neck, one of her hands travelling under his beanie to grip at his hair.

chris kept one of his hands on y/n's cheek, letting the other one fall down to hold her waist. he spread his legs apart, pulling y/n towards him. y/n broke the kiss to yelp in surprise, sending the both of them into a giggling fit. warmth spread throughout y/n's body as she watched the way chris's eyes crinkled as he laughed, flashing his teeth. the image only made her smile more. y/n leaned into chris, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. chris wrapped his arms around y/n's frame without a second thought.

it was all too natural, the way chris leaned back into the couch with y/n in his arms, holding her softly. y/n hummed in content, her eyelids suddenly struggling to stay open as chris sighed underneath her.

"thanks chris," y/n mumbled lazily, letting her eyelids flutter shut as she sunk deeper into the warmth of his body.

chris hummed back, peering at the girl on his chest. he was shocked he had ended up in this position, but lord, he was not complaining. chris smiled to himself before letting his own red eyes fall shut. the drugs in chris and y/n's systems lulled them both to sleep, and they stayed like that for the rest of the night.

...

author's note: wow that felt LONG. i need to smoke after that one. let me know if u want a (potentially smutty)part 2. 😚 love u bye!

[charliehoennam]

aftermath.

A/N: nobody asked for this, but all I've seen is Will smut (which I totally love, don't get me wrong) but I need some vulnerable Will

Pairing: Will Miller x f!reader

Warnings: grief, mourning, sad!will, mentions of death, mentions of Will's military past and Tom's funeral

One of the things you've always admired about Will is his strength. He was always the one to put on a brave face and push on. The captain in him had the duty of moving forward and completing whatever mission was at hand, whether it was getting his team to the landing zone or grocery shopping day at home.

It was that very same strength he possessed that got him through the darkest times in his life.

Losing his war veteran grandfather, losing his comrades in combat or to the haunting PTSD that they tried to chase away with substance abuse.

Before you came into his life, before he realized that he was lost in the same fog of that purgatory of PTSD, shutting his emotions out is the only thing he knew. After all that time, he came to believe it was easier than having to deal with them.

It just wasn't a priority; a moment of tears he refused to share with anyone anywhere other than sat naked and alone on the shower floor.

Tom wasn't the first friend he'd lost, but it doesn't mean it made losing him any easier.

It was easy for him to plaster a smile and bury his grief deep down until he felt it was time to unbury it and mourn.

Getting to that point of self-awareness was a victory in itself.

It took so much patience and love and pain, not only on his behalf but yours as well, to help him to understand what he was really struggling with.

He hadn't realized it had gotten so uncontrollable until the incident at Publix - the grand revelation of the weapon he could be, once shred of his humanity, provided the cathartic acceptance of the fact that he needed help.

Upon federal investigation, the story they told was that Tom had been shot and killed in a tragic mugging incident on their consultation trip. Just a boys' night out gone bad.

It wasn't too hard to believe, given they were 5 foreigners in a country that wasn't theirs. The heat from the Feds didn't last long. Thanks to Santiago's few but faithful contacts, that investment was quickly brought to an end.

It's barely 6 a.m. and you're stood in the kitchen making coffee, still processing how this all happened.

Your black dress is simple but elegant and modest against your body. Despite the itchy fabric, you can feel the early morning chill soaking through.

The dripping of the coffee maker lures you into a whirlwind of thoughts. You watch the droplets of dew form on the kitchen window against the cloudy sky which threatens to rain.

You start to second guess the toast when it pops up in the toaster. You're not the slightest bit hungry and you're positive Will won't be either, but you have to try.

He hasn't eaten right in the past couple days. You didn't say anything, but you've noticed the few bites he'd given his food and the way he'd pick at it.

He should've been ready and downstairs by now, so you decide to go up and check on him.

Moving forward is hard for most people, but for Will, it's what keep the pain at bay. The problem is when he stops.

Like a tornado, he's left with the screaming silence and the damage it left in it's wake.

Now that he's home, the mission of bringing Tom home is complete, the hard truth that his friend and mentor is gone has begun to sink in.

You gently knock on the door as you reach your shared bedroom.

"Honey, do you want any help?"

"I'm good, sweetheart. I'll be right out."

You can hear him sniffle despite his attempt to sound as normal as possible. Unconvinced, you turn the knob and open the door.

He's sat on the edge of the bed wearing a simple black suit as he looks back over his shoulder at you with a Marine coin in hand, a gift from Tom when Will confessed about his therapy sessions.

You aren't too surprised to see he changed out of the formal military blue suit he had out on earlier.

The ribbons, the medals, the badges... He couldn't put them on without feeling the crushing and staining weight of guilt.

"Lat minute outfit change?"

The corner of your lips curl in an attempt to smile, hoping to cheer him up with a bit of tease.

"I was gonna wear my dress blues, but..." he trails off for a moment to swallow hard. "Just didn't feel right."

Without a word, you quietly walk over and sit beside him. You're not sure what he needs right now, but you don't want him to feel alone.

"Black is more flattering if you ask me," you speak up.

His beard twitches as he attempts to smile. He knows you just want to help him feel better. Yet all he can do is stare down at the gold coin.

"Five times... Five times. Five close calls. And he survived them all. He didn't deserve to go out like that. He just wanted to help his family."

You fight back tears as you listen to him with an arm wrapped his back as you press your cheek to his shoulder.

"I told Santi to get him in. I said I'd go if Tom was in. Tom didn't even want to go in the first place. He didn't-"

There's a crack in his voice which he catches it in his throat to compose himself. He sniffles letting a tear cascade down his cheek only to wipe it away quickly, hoping you hadn't seen it.

"This isn't on you, Will."

He nods although you both know deep inside that he won't stop blaming himself.

"When you told me you were a marine, I knew the risks that came with that, Will. Every knock on the door had my heart racing. But I decided to stay with you because I love you. There wasn't a person on earth or a God in the sky that was gonna tell me otherwise. I knew the risks and I took 'em anyways because not having you would've hurt more... I don't understand how fate works other than we all end up the same. What I do know is that all we can do is love our close ones and cherish the good memories you have of them."

With a tearful and silent nod, he lowers his head and rests it against your chest. His arms lock around your waist as he surrenders to the tears in your embrace.

The tears quietly trickle down your cheeks as you listen to him finally breaking down.

With your lips pressed against his golden hair, you hold him in your arms and stroke the hair on the back of his neck to soothe him for as long as he needs.

All you can do is hold him through it and he couldn't be more thankful to have you in such a vulnerable moment after having faced them on his own for so many years.

Just the feeling of not being alone was overwhelming enough, but to have you holding him and reminding him of the things that are easy to ignore in grief give him hope.

Although he feels he's coming apart, he knows that he'll have the strength he's always had.

It's different now. It's not the strength to bury and forget; it's the strength to heal.

With a sigh of relief after a long, vulnerable moment, he pulls away from you and nods, mentally assuring himself that he's alright.

Upon arriving at the church, you're greeted by Molly so you offer your deepest condolences due to the circumstances. Just as Will, you find that the guys have all opted to wear normal black suits instead of the formal military uniform and you wonder if it's for the same reason.

"Sorry for that," he sniffles wiping his eyes as he tries to regain his composure, swallowing hard with guilt. "We should get going... I don't wanna be late."

You remind him that there is no need to apologize and that he can take the time to splash some water on his face to help him recollect before leaving.

Frankie doesn't say a word other than to Molly and the girls, apologizing for their loss. Throughout the priest's religious ceremony of easing words, Benny's apathetic eyes are glued to Tom's casket set in front of the church between his military portrait and a beautiful arrangement of white flowers. During Will's heartfelt eulogy, Santiago keeps his head lowered as the guilt consumes him.

The grift and sadness during the wake only follow and weigh heavier during the long walk to the gravesite, lingering among the guests of the funeral like a dark cloud. It's only reflected in depths by the light rain pitter-pattering all around.

The military traditions at the funeral leave a bitter tinge of irony in the boys as they watch Tom's casket lowering into the ground.

Tess's happy big doey eyes are now swollen and red as she cries under her mother's arm, hugging the folded flag as if it were her dad, while Molly holds her other and youngest daughter under the other arm.

Looking over at Will, you see that he's trying his hardest to keep his strong facade as well as the boys.

You slide your hand into his and whisper to remind him he's not alone and doesn't have to feel alone.

With a gentle squeeze to your hand, he nods.

"You with me?"

"I'm with you."

You and Will - as well as the guys and Tom's family - are the last to leave, reminding Molly that you're more than willing to help with anything.

Will, however, lingers a moment to speak to her private and tells her about the fund. You can tell from her reaction, she's genuinely surprised and thankful, relieved to know that she'll be able to pay for the funeral.

Having called your boss the previous day to let them know you wouldn't be going to work due to the funeral, you take the rest of the day off to recover from the overwhelming day after the funeral.

The drive home is quiet save for the rain against the car and the windshield, echoing into the vehicle which you insisted on driving to give Will some mental ease. He didn't put up a fight. He was quite relieved you'd offered.

In spite of being eager to understand how he's doing, you refuse to burden him with constant questions and decide to respect his mourning process. So, you keep a hand on his thigh to remind you're in this together.

He doesn't mind it at all. In fact, he is grateful for your respect and your thoughtfulness. His hand rests over yours and doesn't leave until you have to pull your hand back to turn the steering wheel, but it finds it's way back onto his leg, warm fully welcomed by his engulfing hand.

As you're undressing in your room, Will's hand catches yours while you're unzipping your dress.

"Thanks... I don't know about you, but I'd say this weather is perfect cuddling weather," you share letting the dress hang loosely off your shoulders.

Will smiles shyly as if you'd read his mind and locks his arms around your waist.

"I couldn't agree more."

[carmyboobear]

hi tuna! i was wondering if you could write something where carmy and reader are at a house party and either one of them is sitting on the roof smoking a joint and the other finds them up and there joins them? thank u in advance <3

YES. I really loved this prompt... so here ya go!

word count: 1.4k

content tags: smoking, substance use, first meetings

Parties like this aren't usually your scene. 

It's not like you can't appreciate it as a bystander—you suppose there's an appeal to music so loud you can't hear your own thoughts. There are certainly some days where you want to lose yourself in a crowd, drunk and careless. Today is not one of those days. 

You can't quite remember how your friend convinced you to come to their party. It'll be fun, they promised, a nice change of pace. It is a nice change of pace, sure. It's different from sitting by yourself at home, but…

Now you're just sitting by yourself at someone else's home, smoking a joint on their porch. 

This is more your pace. You're relaxed into one of your friend's water stained outdoor chairs, feet propped up on a low table. This is about all you can handle today—slow drags of weed and the sound of summer bugs in the trees. The sound of the party lays muffled behind you, sealed by the porch door. 

The noise of the music and dancing inside becomes sharp for a moment as you hear the door opening. You look over your shoulder to see someone you don't recognize hastily stepping out. He seems frazzled, brushing back the brown waves in his face back with his hand. He also seems very…handsome.

“Sorry, didn't know anyone was out here,” is the first thing he says. He has a nice voice, low and smooth. And nervous, you notice. 

“It's cool. It's not like I own the porch.” You shrug, taking another inhale from your sizzling joint. You had hoped that your comment would loosen the tension that'd tied knots all in his face, but it doesn't. He just laughs breathlessly back, short and shaky. “Not a party person?”

“Not really.” He pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. That's when you notice the tattoos on his hands, emblazoned across the backs and his knuckles. Pretty. “You?”

“Sometimes. But not today.” That works—you see him visibly relax, even if just a little bit. “My friend invited me—it's their party—but I, I don't know. I guess I thought I'd be up for it, but…” You shrug. “And now I'm here.”

“I see. I get that. Uh—” He pauses, taking a slow hit from his white cigarette. “My coworkers, um, they invited me. I didn't wanna be an asshole, so I came, but…” He sighs. “Yeah. Now I'm here.”

“Tough.” You nod at the empty seat next to you. “Seat's open, if you want it.”

“Thanks.” He takes the seat next to you. This is when you really take notice of his muscles, especially his biceps and pecs wrapped tightly in that white t-shirt of his. A burst of attraction rushes through you.

“Uh—” You should keep talking. Distract yourself from his, uh, everything. “Do you smoke?” He gives you a funny look, eyes glancing towards his cigarette. “Fuck, I mean, do you smoke weed? Sorry, I'm a little high.”

“It's cool.” He's actually smiling now. It's a nice smile. “Yeah, not often, but I do.”

“Well.” You extend your hand towards him, offering him the joint. “You can have some of this if you want. Might help you relax. No pressure, of course.”

“...Actually, yeah. That'd be nice. Thank you.” He takes the joint from you with his other hand. Now he's got a cigarette in one and a joint in another. You both share an amused, knowing look. “You smoke cigs?”

“Sometimes. Here, let's trade.” He hands you his cigarette. “Not that there's anything wrong with dual-wielding. Take one hit off the joint, and then off the cig…”

“Dual-wielding,” he repeats, laughing under his breath. You chuckle, entertained by the thought and his reaction. You don't mean to watch him as he brings the joint up to his lips and pulls, but you do anyway. You're not sure if him smoking a cigarette or a joint looks more attractive. 

“I feel like we should know each other's names now.” You know it sounds a bit forward, but the high's making you brave. You introduce yourself to him. “And your name is?”

“I'm Carmen.” Of course even his name is pretty. “Most people just call me Carmy, though.”

“Carmy.” You can't help your smile. “That's cute. Do you have a preference?”

“Uh—” He looks good with a little bit of pink on his cheeks. “Carmy's fine.”

“Okay, then. Carmy it is.” 

You two develop a rhythm. You trade the joint and cigarette back and forth, inhaling puffs of weed and tobacco back to back. Intimate is not quite the right word to describe it, but you're not sure if there's a better word for it. You definitely feel something of a connection pulling the both of you closer together. You even think that somehow, the space between your seats is shrinking too.

“I used to smoke more weed back in college,” Carmy says. The joint's almost finished by now, and with it, you both become a lot more loose-lipped. He's staring into the distance like he's remembering something. “You ever green out?”

“Oh yeah, plenty of times.” You laugh to yourself, shaking your head. “Back when I first started smoking—well, I started with edibles.”

“As does everyone.”

“Yeah, and it's stupid. It's way too easy to go overboard with edibles.”

“Seriously. I've only ever had edibles once, and. Well.”

“Ah…It was bad, I take it?”

“Yep.” He laughs quietly, and the infectious sound of it makes you smile. “It was awful. I even threw up.”

“Oh no,” you gasp. “That's how you know it's bad. I've managed to stop myself from throwing up, but I've definitely felt like I was dying a couple times.”

“Oh, of course. As it goes.” You both chuckle. “I thought my tolerance was high enough. It wasn't that many milligrams, but I guess my body hated it.”

“It happens.” The cigarette dies out in your hands, burned right down to the filter. You snub it out on the arm of your chair. “I used to enjoy edibles, but ever since I greened out real bad one time, I just can't do them anymore. They just wreck my shit.”

“Maybe that's for the best.” He puts out the joint too. “Just stick to regular lung damage like the rest of us.”

“Lessons learned, I guess.” You grin. A comfortable pause settles. “...Carmy?”

“Yeah?”

“We've smoked it all. Everything.”

“I have some more cigarettes if you want one.”

“No, no…” You lean forward, propping your elbows on your knees. He instinctively mirrors you, sitting up in his chair. “It's all gone.”

“Oh. Well.” He tilts his head to the side. “What should we do now?”

“We could sit here and suffer. Or…” You rest your chin in the palms of your hands, cradling your face. “I could roll us another joint back at my place.”

“Oh.” Looks like it clicked. His blue eyes are widened with surprise.

“You don't have to,” you say quickly, “really. But I've been having a good time with you, and I…I like you. I think you're cute.” Ordinarily, you wouldn't be this forward, but you swear you feel something here. “Sorry if this is—too much.”

“No, not at all,” he replies, just as quick. “Don't apologize. Please. I just—” He fumbles, making a vague hand gesture. “This has been really, really nice. You're so easy to talk to, and I, I'm not used to that.” He smiles at you, shy and adorable. You're momentarily gripped with something akin to cuteness aggression, but you keep it under wraps. “I…I like you. A lot. I'd love to go to your place.”

“Yeah?” He nods. “Okay. Cool. Um…” You feel your insides jumbling all over each other. “Sorry, now I'm getting all flustered.”

“It's okay.” His smile blossoms further, turning into something radiant. “I like it. You're cute.” You make a small noise at that.

“Smooth talker.” You stand up from your seat, and he looks up at you momentarily before following suit. “I'm just down the block. Up for a walk?”

You don't bother telling your friend you're leaving. The two of you chat and laugh all the way to your place, your voices echoing down the quiet road. Turns out your friend was right after all—the party turned out to be very, very fun. 

[riality-check]

tw for mentions of substance abuse (part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7)

ao3

Steve Harrington has been awake for fifty four hours. With luck, he'll be able to eke out another eighteen. Three days seems to be the sweet spot, even if he only makes it there half the time and, of that half, it only works half the time.

It's better than nothing.

Maybe four days is the sweet spot. Ninety six is close to one hundred, and that seems like a good omen.

Omens don't really matter though. What matters is staying awake.

So, Steve chugs his coffee and walks into the conference room. Coffee isn't enough, not nearly, but it'll do until he gets desperate enough to take something.

He really does try to only take them when he's desperate. It's easier that way, to just do it when he feels like he needs to rather than measuring dosages and remembering times. Hours start to blur around hour forty of being awake.

He walks in, sits down in the chair closest to the door, and is met with a withering glare from Eddie Munson.

Listen. Steve isn't happy about this either, but at least he doesn't look like he stepped in dog shit on the way here. Then again, Steve doesn't have the luxury of ever looking truly unhappy.

Eddie is a rock star. Mean is part of his brand, while mean is the antithesis to Steve's.

Whatever.

"Are you kidding me?" Eddie says, still staring at him, but Steve knows he's not who he's asking.

"He's the best person for the job," Chrissy, Eddie's manager, says.

"We don't need him."

Someone taps Steve's left shoulder. He turns to see Jeff, the lead singer of Corroded Coffin, give him a warm smile.

"Nice to meet you, Steve," he says, and Steve shakes his proffered hand.

"Happy to help," he says, and it's only half a lie.

The drummer and the bassist - Steve would probably be able to remember their names if he wasn't so exhausted - wave their hellos from a few seats away.

"Hi, Steve," Chrissy says.

He takes another swig of his coffee and gives her a little wave in response.

"We don't need a pop singer to write lyrics for us," Eddie says, still not letting this go.

"Yes, you do," Steve says. He sets his coffee cup down on the table and opens the folder he brought with him. "I read through the lyrics of every one of your songs."

"You didn't even listen to them?"

"Would have taken too much time."

That's a lie. Listening, even with the lengthy guitar solos, probably would have taken less time. But Steve needs something to fill the hours when he's supposed to be asleep, and reading, that slow process with its ample, awakening frustration, is the perfect thing.

"You became so much less interesting after your first album," he says. "Every one of your songs talks about the same thing. Conquering evil, killing demons, blah blah blah."

"That's what's in right now," Eddie snaps.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve catches the drummer and Chrissy make the same motion. They pinch the bridges of their noses, clearly frustrated.

Steve sees why Chrissy wanted to talk to him.

"It is," he concedes. "But I also read the lyrics of every song by the bands with top ten hits. They don't talk about it nearly as much. They sing about other stuff. And they don't use an F major chord in every one of their songs."

"We don't-"

"We kinda do, Eddie," the bassist pipes up. "I'm a little sick of playing F."

Eddie takes a breath. Steve takes the opportunity to take a pill.

He found a way to make it less obvious for people who have something to say about it. Steve will take one from his pocket, yawn, cover his mouth, and swallow it dry. Easy peasy. They don't notice, he doesn't have to deal with people who don't get it making comments.

Except when he does, this time, Eddie narrows his eyes. Like he knows what he's doing.

Steve doesn't like that look.

"Have you read my stuff?" He won't ask if Eddie has listened to any of it. He knows the answer is no, if he keeps bringing up genre like that really means anything.

Eddie doesn't respond. He keeps those narrowed eyes trained on Steve and stays silent.

"Didn't think so," he says, and he slides over the thick stack of papers Robin stapled together for him last night. "Here's everything. Read it. Tell me if you like it. I'm only helping you if you give a shit. This goes two ways, and I don't want to waste my time if you think I'm wasting yours."

Eddie doesn't take the stack, but the drummer, sitting next to him, tugs them closer. "Thanks."

"Let me know tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Jeff says, eyebrows raised.

Steve forgets that most people don't actually take advantage of their twenty four hours.

"End of the week," he says instead, and he relaxes when Jeff does.

The drummer starts flipping through the pages while the bassist looks over his shoulder.

"Need anything else from me?" Steve asks Chrissy.

"I don't think so," she says. "I'll call you back to set up a time for Saturday."

He's amazed by the fact that someone as sweet as her works with someone as pretentious as Eddie.

"Sounds good," he says, and he walks out, trying to ignore the feeling of Eddie's eyes on him as he goes through the door.

It only halfway works.

The pill should kick in soon, within a half hour, maybe shorter because of the coffee. Maybe he'll write something. Maybe he'll work on the piano melody he's been tinkering with for the past week. Maybe he'll read the latest book Robin picked up from the library, something interesting enough to be worth the frustration of the moving letters, something that will still fill the time.

He'll make it to seventy two hours. Then he'll crash because his body is a worthless piece of shit, and he hopes this is the half of the time when he doesn't have any goddamn nightmares.

Maybe he should pop another pill, just in case.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I think Meghan’s frustrated because her level has some pretty popular people already. It’s crowded. To be honest I think the Gaines have a large % followed by a few other target brands. She’d rather be a target brand not a tjmaxx because tjmaxx buys left over inventory that doesn’t sell. Target is still affordable and I think those in her circle are far more willingly to say they go to target than Walmart to tjmaxx. That’s what bothers her.

I also don’t think she was prepared to launch when she did. It was a quick rash reaction that felt more like turning lover an “I’m open for business sign” than anything else. Her ego got the best of her .

Yep, that's the other pitfall of being so focused on immediate gratification: you have beer goggles on. You don't see your competitors for who they really are - you only see what they have that you don't or their flaws that you think you can do better.

If Meghan really cared about Roop, she'd have paid attention to the market research that her partners (and yes, she has partners, even if no one will admit it) and WME did. That market research would have told her exactly who her competitors are, that she has one shot to get this right, and precisely what shot to take and when to take it.

And let's be honest. Her competitors aren't Gwyneth Paltrow (Goop), Reese Witherspoon (Kohls), and Martha Stewart (Macys, Penneys, and Amazon). They aren't even the Gaines/Magnolia (Target), Pioneer Woman (Walmart), and Rae Dunn (TJ Maxx/HomeGoods).

Her competitors are all the other socialites out there launching their own wellness and lifestyle brands. Bravolebrities. Tiktokers. Instagram influencers. People who have such a niche fanbase from 5 minutes in the spotlight with print-on-demand merch. In effect, personality-driven brands that lack substance.

And those brands don't usually do well, because they always overshoot their market and target the wrong audience. There's nothing wrong with being a TJX brand or a department store brand or a "Middle America" brand. Plenty of people have made really good fortunes and livings from it, but only because they were realistic and clear about their expectations and knew it would take time to get the empire they wanted.

And since anon mentioned The Gaines, I have a feeling that's who Meghan intends to come after. They're in Texas (where the Sussexes have been spending time). Tall, leggy, thick-bouncy-dark brown/black hair-for-days, biracial homemaker guru wife with a doofus goofy ginger husband. Their brand (Magnolia Home) is a kind of rustic, vintage, comfort memory that ARO/Roop's video mimicked. They've got that kind of ordinary everyday Americanness that (kind of) competes with William and Kate's kind of ordinary everyday Britishness that Meghan couldn't break.

But here's the thing about Chip and Joanna. They didn't just pop up out of nowhere. I know it feels like they did, but they didn't. They put 10 years of blood and sweat equity into the Waco (Texas) home construction and design world before HGTV even knew that they existed. What has Meghan done that's even comparable? Sure, she got her own doofus ginger but that's it. That's where the comparisons end. And honestly there's no comparison between Chip and Harry either, because Chip comes out ahead by a million points by just being able to replace his own burnt-out lightbulb.

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

Chapter 6

CW: lots of angst, jealousy is not even the right word to describe neteyam's state anymore, emotionally hurt neteyam, yandere neteyam, reader has a hard time trying to fight her feelings for neteyam, mentions of using someone with the intention of forgetting someone else, mild violence, mentions of sexual fluids, possessive and territorial neteyam, mentions of depressive symptoms, use of alcohol, feelings of fear, tension, confessions of love, fluff. I think that's all (??)

✨ IM BACK ✨ I can't even believe I managed to finally update this fanfic! 😂 All of a sudden I spent days on end being a 24/7 nurse for my spayed kitten and didn't have time for anything + having to give her 2 different pills at 2 different times, all during the am hours, plus another one in the morning, left me SOOO sleep deprived. It was horrible. Thank God she doesn't have to take the pills anymore. ANYWAY lol Guys, in the beginning of the chapter until the middle of it, I think, I know you guys are gonna want to murder me or reader or both (you know that y/n meme with the pic of the blonde girl "choking" her own shadow in the wall, saying like "babe this is not us" or smth? so… pretty much that! lol) BUT I PROMISE it's gonna be really good in the end 🥲 trust me, please 🥺 it's the moment most of us (yes, me included!) have been waiting for! 💕 Also, this is a longer chapter, compared to the usual. Maybe a compensation for my absence? Idk! lol I just hope you guys like it! haha OKAY if I say anything else, it'll be a spoiler lol love y'all to death!!! my readers are my babies, my lil angels… I truly freaking love you guys so much!!! 🫀⚘

Not proofread.

Chapter 5

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

I can see you standing, honey, with his arms around your body

Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

(...)

I can see you staring, honey, like he's just your understudy

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Second, third, and hundredth chances

Balancin' on breaking branches

Those eyes add insult to injury 

exile (Taylor Swift, Bon Iver)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

The air was thick and chaotic at the Olo'eyktan's hut that morning. Everyone seemed to be a bit too restless, either getting ready to go show up to their duties to the clan, like Neytiri, or thinking about some personal struggle, like Kiri, who was lost in thought, looking a bit sad. But she was also mixing some herbs and flowers, preparing a thick, violet colored substance that was used to treat wounds, that she would later give to Neytiri. Kiri would always help Neytiri a lot, assisting her in her Tsahìk position in the Omatikaya clan.

But Neteyam still stood out among the whole family. He was unmistakably grumpy that morning, Lo’ak noticed, as he was - once again - watching the weird way his older brother was behaving. Neteyam was not being his usual calm and caring self. He was not trying to take care of everyone, not giving out smiles and trying to cheer his siblings up. He was even distracted when Jake was giving him instructions about how today's training would go and giving him other orders, like telling him to keep an eye on Tuk whenever he's able to, as she was growing and becoming even smarter, more energetic and mischievous and was starting to get into more trouble, sometimes even picking fights with other girls in the clan, becoming a bit too much like Lo'ak, which had been making Jake rub the sides of his forehead in worry lately, way more often than he liked to admit.

"The Mighty Warrior, distracted when dad is telling him what to do?! What the fuck is happening?!" Lo'ak thought. Something was very wrong. And Lo’ak was determined to find out what it was.

Neteyam sat with his legs slightly open, his hands were crossed, his elbows resting on his knees. He had a lost stare in his eyes, gazing at the nothingness, looking like he was mad at someone who had just maybe punched him in the face.

He did not know how to deal with it all, that turmoil of emotions you were causing inside him felt overwhelming to the Sullys first born. He had taken on just so many challenges throughout his life and conquered most of them, but he feared you were gonna be a war that he might lose. He had to admit it bruised his ego. Suddenly, he did not feel like such a Mighty Warrior after all. An adversary that most people would judge as a weak one compared to him, a mere human girl, so small in comparison to his size, was defeating him. Suddenly all his skills with bows, arrows, big knives and even big, intimidating shotguns were not enough.

And Neteyam felt lost. He did not know what to do. For the first time in his life, his rational and smart brain could not seem to produce a war strategy that could help him win. Win you. He felt just like a wounded warrior, bleeding on the floor.

༊⁀➷

You decided to finally answer Derek’s messages today, after ghosting him for a while. You were feeling weird and lonely. And shaken. God, still so shaken... What the hell happened last night? Did that really happen? Was it all just a dream? You could swear those words Neteyam Suli had given you, about how he was in love with you, that his hauntingly tall and broad figure, vulnerable, kneeling on the ground in front of you, telling you he could tell you desired him too, had all been just part of a weird, eerie, anxious, borderline wet dream.

You knew very well what you were doing to Derek. You were using him to forget about the mess Neteyam was making of you. You knew that was wrong and you did feel guilty and ashamed. But you also knew you had to step back into your old reality, into that familiar world, into your comfort zone, a place where there were only regular human guys interested in you, not that current unsettling reality you were living in - you could still swear it had all just been a dream. Or a nightmare, perhaps. You were not sure -, where there was an almost 10 feet tall alien boy pursuing you, declaring his love and his nearly inappropriate desire for you, talking about the intimate parts of your body in a way that made you uncomfortable, anxious but... that lured you in too, at the same time. You needed an escape from it all. Your already disturbed mind did not seem able to deal with those facts at that moment and Derek seemed like the perfect distraction. 

Damn, what had you become? That was not ethical or moral at all - using a human being like a tool to distract you from your conflicting emotions - but you did not seem to be capable of caring too much about being ethical or moral at that time. Your whole perception of the world seemed to be changing. You felt bedazzled and unsteady. You did not want to admit to yourself that you were starting to feel too much for Neteyam, that you were running away from your feelings like a thief runs away with an expensive item he just robbed. No, you were not in love with him. How could that even be? Everybody knew the na’vi don’t get romantically involved with humans. Your races were more like enemies than buddies. There were only a few humans who were loyal to the na'vi and maintained a somewhat close relationship with them, but never a romantic one. What was making you and Neteyam feel like that for each other? That could only bring problems and you sure as hell did not want more trouble in your already complicated life.

You would be better off sticking to a human male instead. It was safe and familiar. It did not make your anxiety skyrocket. But it also did not excite you a single bit. Derek caused you nothing. You could barely even feel actually turned on when he touched your body and kissed your lips. It was just like he was a habit you had gotten used to, making out with him here and there, to numb the pain you felt inside your heart almost all the time. His biggest efforts to make you wet never seemed to work. Meanwhile, Neteyam got you wet without having ever touched you. That sure spoke loud enough. 

So why were you rejecting Neteyam and going after Derek?

Maybe you felt too afraid to take a risk, to follow your heart. God knows following that damn reddish muscular organ had put you in the worst situations possible in the past. You felt numb but you felt safe. And safe felt good. Bearable, at least. You were afraid if you gave into what you felt for Neteyam you just might explode. The feelings were that strong. You did not know what to do to try and ignore that tiny but extremely annoying creature inside your brain that would always be whispering “What if something actually good came out of it? Take a risk. For once in your life, don’t play it safe.”

But you were choosing to play it safe, anyway. At least this afternoon. You were gonna meet Derek, after two weeks without doing so, and just hang out, eat junk food, drink some alcohol and talk about non important things, just laugh and be silly, like you two always used to do. He was a good friend. Too bad he never made any type of fire light up inside of you, not even in the very beginning of your rendezvous, that’s why you never got to have sex with him. You were simply not interested. At all, to be honest. You wondered why you still insisted on being physically intimate with him. There were many things in your life that you did and did not really think too much about. They were just pure routine, they just kinda happened and you let them, almost like you weren't really living your life, but only a mere spectator to the events that were happening to you. And it seemed like you felt too emotionally numb to put an end to them. Your involvement with Derek was one of those things. He started to flirt with you one day, you were bored and you thought "why not?" and now, months later, you were still caught in this situation. If anyone asked you if there was any other reason why you were gonna see Derek today other than to try and get Neteyam out of your mind, you honestly couldn't say there was. It was crystal clear to you that, even though you were fighting like crazy to deny your feelings for Neteyam, you were indeed falling for him.

But how could that be? Some days ago, he was only an Omatikaya famous warrior - and, oh, let's not forget, the next Olo'eyktan of their clan - that you had only heard people talk about.

༊⁀➷

Neteyam was up in one of the highest tree branches he could find that day. He did not want anybody to see him, as usual, but he also did not want you to know he was watching you, either. He knew you were now aware of his constant presence around you. He knew you were not oblivious to his love anymore.

The sun was harassing his eyes, so he put his hand over them and squinted hard to try and see if the guy next to you, in the laboratory’s cafeteria, was really who he thought it was. When his eyes could get a better view, once the sun was not bothering them so much anymore, he felt something sinking in his stomach and his heartbeat accelerated considerably.

He had just confirmed who the guy was. It was that disgusting little human male that liked to act like you were his mate. Neteyam hissed ferociously, his protruding na’vi fangs looking scarier than ever, as his wide feline eyes watched Derek leaning close to your face and kissing your lips. Neteyam wanted to die - or maybe kill Derek - when he noticed you kissed him back.

༊⁀➷

You forced a smile while looking at Derek, after you had the initiative to break that damn kiss who seemed to never end. He seemed satisfied with the fact that you two had just kissed, contrary to what you were feeling. You honestly felt like you wanted to throw up. All you could think about was how it would feel to kiss Neteyam, to smell his scent again, that was so abundantly different from what you were used to, but that fact only seemed to make you want him even more.

You looked away to try and forget the ridiculous mistake you were making by being with Derek at that moment. You were looking at the ground and your gaze moved upwards. Now your eyes were directed towards the outside of the lab. What you saw startled you beyond reason. Neteyam was squatting, up in the branches of a huge tree, not too close but not too far from the part of the laboratory you and Derek were currently in. His fangs were out, seeming bigger than ever, as he hissed ferociously. Neteyam's animalistic side had completely taken over him and you could tell.

A chill ran down your spine. You could feel in your guts something bad was about to happen.

Your heart throbbed in pain as you saw how hurt he was now that he had seen you kissing Derek, even after he - Neteyam - had confessed his feelings for you in such a vulnerable way last eclipse. You saw in his eyes how betrayed he felt, like you were just silently telling him that his love did not matter at all to you and you'd rather be with any other guy but him.

༊⁀➷

"Hey, I'm going outside for a while, 'kay?" Derek spoke as he got up from the place he had been sitting, beside you, kissing your cheek "The boys are gonna meet me behind the lab in a while. "

Oh, no. Derek would not be safe if he went outside. Not with Neteyam spilling hate for him out of his soul like that. You had to try and find a way to keep Derek inside.

"Oh." You said, not being able to conceal your nervousness "Why don't you wait for them to actually get there before you go?!" You almost begged, visibly tense

"God, you seem nervous." He chuckled slightly, seeming uncomfortable " Is everything alright?"

"Yeah! I just want you to spend some more time with me." You pouted at him, coming up with an excuse to try and keep Derek from going out of the lab

"Sorry, sugar. It was nice hanging out and stuff but I really need to go now." He was already walking fast towards the door before you could try and talk him out of that stupid idea

You couldn't let any of the people in that cafeteria know something was up, so, you pretended everything was alright and finished eating your chips and took the last sip of your canned whisky and coke and stood up, walking slowly (when you actually wanted to freaking run) in the direction of the lab's metal door that led to outside.

You put your oxygen mask on, took a deep breath and walked out the door. 

You heard a noise, it was like a really heavy object falling to the floor. You also heard some strong thuds.

When you started to walk around to try and see what was happening, you realized your fear had become reality. Neteyam was sitting on top of Derek’s squirming body, his toned, striped thighs straddling Derek’s torax. You gasped when you realized Derek was no longer wearing his oxygen mask and Neteyam's huge hand was over Derek's mouth, preventing him from screaming for help. Neteyam looked at him like a hunter looks at their prey, while his big fangs and loud hisses put fear in the human boy's eyes. Derek was completely terrified.

Your heart beat sped up insanely and your hands were now cold as ice. You were afraid for Derek’s life.

You knew that the way Neteyam was taking out his frustration and jealousy on Derek was indescribably far from okay but still, as cruel to Derek as it seemed, you still felt incredibly sorry for the Omatikaya in front of you.

At the end of the day, you had a big percentage of blame for what he was doing right now. You were confused and afraid and torn but you knew to whom your heart belonged and it was not Derek. So why the hell were you being so selfish to the point of hurting two boys at the same time just because you didn't know how to deal with your own feelings? You realized it was time for you to stop being a coward and put an end to that madness.

You could tell Neteyam was not okay mentally and you knew that you were being toxic too, that you were contributing for his mental state to get worse with your indecisiveness and fear, despite his efforts to show you he would never hurt you. You wanted to stop hurting him and help him instead, to finally let go and admit to yourself and to him that yes, despite the way you had been acting, you were in love with him too.

"Neteyam, don't!! Let him go, please!!" You shouted, running towards the human and the na'vi boy.

You finally got close to Neteyam. He stopped and looked at you, his eyes so fiery, the calm golden pools they always used to be were now boiling with feelings of anger, jealousy, hurt and betrayal.

"For me! Please?" You pleaded him, looking deep into his eyes while stroking his strong blue arm

You watched that beast inside of Neteyam slowly calm down, as his feline ears pointed downwards and his eyes became softer. He moved his hand away from Derek’s mouth and the human boy let out a series of labored breaths. Neteyam slowly got off of him, revealing his beyond intimidating height as he stood up, and stepped away from him.

You walked as fast as you could to where Derek's oxygen mask was laying on the floor and picked it up, checking if was broken (it wasn't! Thank you, Universe.) and went back to where he was lying down and gave it back to him.

Neteyam watched your movements and felt jealous when you got close to Derek, so, once you got back to the place where you were standing before, Neteyam stood right next to your arm. His instincts told him to mark his territory.

Derek swiftly put it back on. He was almost completely out of breath. Derek breathed in deep once the mask was covering his face, taking in all the oxygen he possibly could.

"Are you okay?" You looked down at Derek’s body, searching for any visible wounds. There were none, at best. "God, I'm so sorry about this…"

"Yeah, I'm fine, somehow." Derek seemed afraid, shocked, frustrated and angry, all simultaneously, as he got off the floor and got back on his feet

"Please, don't tell anyone that you saw Neteyam or that he tried to hurt you, okay?"

"What the fuck?!! This psycho almost tried to kill me!! Why are you defending him?!"

Neteyam hissed at him when he heard what he had just called him but you squeezed his arm and he looked at you, remembering your pleas were the thing that were keeping him from killing that small, pink male. Even though it hurt him deeply that you were protecting that human, he couldn't bring himself to ignore you when you were begging him not to hurt Derek. You had Neteyam in the palm of your hand.

"You don't understand! If you let anyone in that lab know what Neteyam did to you, the RDA will eventually know about it too! Do you understand how serious this is? Do you wanna see Neteyam dead?!" You urged him, looking deep into his eyes "You could even help start another war between the humans and the na'vi. Do you understand that it is a much bigger issue than it seems to be? Just forget about what happened and I'll make sure Neteyam won't ever try to hurt you again."

Derek smirked in contempt 

"How can you be so sure he will listen to you?"

"I know he will! He loves me. And… I love him too."

Derek’s face had a big question mark all over it now and his mouth fell open.

Neteyam seemed to be shocked for a while. He did not expect you to say that, at all. He thought you would never love him back. Neteyam couldn't seem to believe those words had actually just come out of your mouth.

You breathed in deep, trying to stay calm amidst all that chaos "This thing between us…" You looked at Derek "It's over. I don't know why I was still insisting on it, I never even felt attracted to you, in the first place. I'm sorry."

"I'm outta here! All of this shit that's going on… feels like a fucking nightmare"

"Can you do as I said and not tell anyone about Neteyam? Nobody, ever? Please?!" You were nervous, brows furrowed, talking fast

"Okay!! Just let me go now! I think it's better if you and I keep some distance from each other from now on. I don't want your crazy na'vi boyfriend trying to kill me again." 

Neteyam hissed at Derek again when he heard the word "crazy" and Derek rapidly looked at him, startled, but couldn't be brave enough to spend more than some seconds staring at him, so, he swiftly looked away 

"Neteyam, please!! He's going already." You looked at Neteyam, a bit angry and impatient, asking him to calm down "Just go, Derek." You spit out and sighed, feeling physically and mentally drained after having to stop that stupid fight

Derek finally turned his back to you and Neteyam and left.

You looked at Neteyam. His eyes were glued on you. Those pretty amber eyes. His face wasn't full of hatred and anger anymore. His demeanor was much calmer now. His body language radiated love towards you. His tail was wagging softly. You felt pain and regret consuming your chest. How could you have treated Neteyam so badly last night? You realized now you couldn't hold him to the same standards you hold human males. The na'vi are animalistic beings, in spite of their high intelligence. And worse, how could you be irresponsible enough to kiss Derek even not actually wanting to, making Neteyam see it and get as hurt as he did? You sure were being trashy.

"My tawtute…" he cooed as he turned to look in your eyes "I won't let you run away from me anymore." Neteyam had a big smile on his lips "I don't care if you try to. That's all I needed to hear, that you love me. Now that you've said it, even if you didn't say it directly to me, I'm gonna fight for you even harder, even if you keep trying to push me away, I will keep bothering you." He kept smiling, blissful "You're like an Ikran. I just need to be patient with you. Eventually, I'll tame you and you'll be mine. All mine, hi'ì 'emyu." (small cook) "Bonded to me through tsaheylu. I can be patient and I will be."

You could only look at him, stare at his face and ask yourself why. Why was he willing to put so much work into making you his mate? 

"I'm not gonna run away from you anymore." You finally said "I'm done running. I'm done keeping myself miserable and alone because I'm too afraid to trust you and let you in. While trying to keep myself "safe", I was hurting myself and hurting you. I'm not doing that anymore, Neteyam. I was so stupid… I can't really say what it is, but there's just something about you… I think about you all the time, since the first time I saw you when you appeared for me outside that window. I don't believe someone can fall in love so fast but…" You were about to burst into tears "I'm in love with you."

Neteyam looked at you with the biggest smile on his plump lips, while his heart beat uncommonly fast inside his chest. He was overwhelmed with joy but as he was seeing the tears welling up in your eyes, he felt like he was about to cry too. But he didn't. Having learned throughout his whole life to always act with self control and rationality in front of everyone, - not really by choice, but because he knew that was how the Olo'eyktan to be should act, to keep a good reputation, to let his people know he was strong enough to control his emotions and not let them get in the way of him making good decisions for the Omatikaya - his ability to show some aspects of his feelings was a bit impaired now and that included crying. Even though he almost cried in front of you when you rejected him, he couldn't bring himself to cry of joy, now that you were saying that you wanna be with him too.

"I'm sorry for… what you saw. Me and Derek. I never liked him, Neteyam. He was just-"

"Yawne, no." Neteyam interrupted " It's okay. I don't wanna hear about that human." He looked disgusted only by the thought of Derek "And I don’t want you thinking about him either. You're mine now. Just forget about him. It's me that you like, right?" He gave you a gentle smile now and you nodded your head positively "Then focus on me, yawntutsyìp."

You looked at him, shyly, and smiled

"So… Can I ask for a hug, now?" your heart beat fast inside your chest cavity as you nervously said that

"Oeyä tawtute…" (my human) "You don't even need to ask." He opened his big, strong arms as he spoke "Come here."

༊⁀➷

Taglist: @kitsunefirewail @tumblingdevils @a-blog-name-2003 @xylobee @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @thehoneymushroomhealer @melllinaa @annaibansworld @siriuslysmoking @avatar4eva @ellabellabus07 @badbishsblog @neteyamsmate4life @c-h-i-l @criticallybella

[shifterbee]

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD

My Relationship With Reality Shifting

What I'm going to be talking about:

How I found out about shifting

My initial thoughts/ feelings about shifting

What led me to believe in shifting

Why I don't doubt that shifting is real

What doubts I do have (let's be honest, not everyone can be completely free of doubts)

My approach to shifting when I first started

My current approach to shifting

I didn't want this post to be too long so if you want/need me to explain anything further then let me know <3

Any trigger warnings will be in place wherever may be necessary <3

How it all started:

Like many people in this community, I first found out about shifting through TikTok in 2020. In my case, it was around mid-September when I was scrolling through my FYP and saw the video that changed my life forever.

OK, that was a bit dramatic, but you get the point. The video that I saw was this girl acting out something that she claimed happened in her DR. The scene went something like this (my memory is really blurry, so bear with me):

She had just shifted back to her DR, and It was during the battle at Hogwarts. there were a bunch of people coming up to her saying things like "Where did you go?" and "We missed you so much"(your typical 2020 misinformation). the battle was starting, and she looked at everyone and said, "I know what will help us. everyone close your eyes, trust me." IDK, I think she was trying to group shift everyone out of her DR???? either way it didn't work but when they opened their eyes the portals from Avengers Endgame(I think) started opening up and the Avengers stepped out of them. Her reaction to that was like "Well I guess that also works".

There might have been more to it, but that's all I can remember right now. Also PLEASE tell me if you also saw that video and/or remember who posted it. I wonder what they're doing now.

At first, I was a little confused, but then I looked at the tags and saw one that said: "reality shifting." at this time, my FYP was filled with a bunch of fanfic-related stuff, So I guess because of that, I just assumed that reality shifting was just a weird fanfic tope used in crossover fics. I was also sort of on DracoTok, so I wasn't really confused about why I would be seeing Harry Potter fanfic on my FYP.

I scrolled away from the video and didn't think much of it until a few days later when I looked up the tag and saw a bunch of videos with advice and methods on how to shift. at this point I was very confused and I was just thinking "Wait, are these people being fr". After scrolling through the tag for a bit I found a video explaining what it was.

I don't know who made that video. But one thing I do know is that I have never doubted the existence of shifting since.

Why I started believing:

I'm just going to use bullet points for this section. but if you want me to go into more detail about anything, let me know.

my prior knowledge/belief of out-of-body experiences (i.e. astral projection)

my belief that humans are always more powerful than what we usually think/believe.

Also, potential TW: brief mention of drugs

probably the biggest reason was a story I heard from a YouTuber about one of his friends who, after taking DMT, claimed to have lived in a forest with elves for 3 years and was able to give a detailed description of what happened in those 3 years. The story I'm talking about is about 10 minutes into this video I immediately thought of this story when I saw videos of people talking about their experiences in their DRs. And since this drug is something that can be naturally produced by the brain, it didn't seem like much of a stretch to suggest that you could trigger its production without taking any drugs.

I want to make it very clear that I am not promoting or encouraging the use of drugs/illegal substances in order to shift.

My approach to shifting then vs. now:

I have always treated shifting like a skill. At first, I thought that if I practiced the methods/techniques I learned from Shifttok enough, I would eventually have to shift.

Now, I treat shifting as something you allow yourself to do rather than force. It's kind of like sleeping. The more you try to force it, the less likely it's going to happen.

More recently, I have been focusing more on improving my confidence when it comes to my abilities. In my opinion, it is not enough to intend to do something you also have to have the confidence to be able to do it.

I think that is why most people aren't shifting. There are only so many times a person can fail at something and not lose their confidence.

End Notes:

I think that this is all I wanted to say. But, once again, if you want me to explain something, let me know what it is.

[luxtrys]

boxer!anakin...

<3 he's good, and he knows it, and he doesn't make it a secret either. anakin had be one of the, if not the most, cocky, arrogant, over confident boxer in the whole of the very much illegal boxing operation under ground.

but it hasn't come back to bite him, yet, because anakin won every single time, which didn't help his already inflated ego.

<3 he was conflicted whether or not he wanted you at his fights. of course he wanted your support and he almost doesn't love anything more than showing off to you. but on the other hand, the undergroud boxing ring was very much illegal, and very much dangerous. and anakin didn't have many weaknesses at all, besides you. and he was not going to let you get hurt in anyway, ever

<3 "i don't know baby" he sighed tucking a strand of hair behind your ear softly. "but ani, i want to support you! you love boxing and if supporting you means i have to watch you punch some guy in the face then so be it" he didn't believe you at all because besides wet socks, there was nothing you hated more than violence. so he reluctantly agreed, 99.9 percent sure you were going to spend the whole match with your hands covering your eyes.

<3 after giving you strict orders to stay with his friend at all times and to not leave until he came to you after the match, ani planted a kiss to your head before leaving to the locker rooms. you sat in the front with your sweating hands in your laps and nerves rising in your body. you didn't think the gigantic muscular man next to you was actually ani's friend, because anakin didn't really have any friends at work, at least that you knew of.

<3 it would be an understatement to say that ani's boxing work place ring thing, was not your scene. at all. you tried to not let your mind be judgemental to the people around you, but you would be lying if you said you weren't just a tad scared of the men around you. ok, alot bit scared.

<3 it wasn't long before a man with a microphone stood in the middle of the ring, announcing the fight rather loudly. you listened attentively, but only really caught onto him introducing a name that was not at all familiar to you as an extremely large burly man entered the ring. never in your life had you thought anakin as small, weak or frail, but you cant help but be worried for him as when ani enters, he almost looks warped standing across from the man.

<3 you watched as anakin lifted his silk cloak hood from his head, your racing heart beat almost drowning out the loud hollers and applauses for your boyfriend in your ears. after shrugging off the rest of his cloak, leaving him only clad in his black satin shorts that read 'skywalker' on the waistband in a crimson red, the announcer in the middle exited the ring, and unfortunately to you the fight had begun.

<3 it started with anakin seemingly not worried about the obvious size his opponent had on him. he circled around the ring with the signature cocky smirk plastered on his face. he was being obnoxious, you could see that glimmer in his eyes as he egged on his opponent, making many remarks for him to just 'come get him' and making come here motions with his hands more times that you could count.

<3 he was asking for it, and he got it. his opponent finally made the move to send a punch to ani's perfect face, which he dodged before it could reach him.

<3 the rest of the fight was a blur, and it wasn't long until you had your head in your hands, shielding you from the fight. ani's giant of an opponent didn't stop him from sneaking a look at you. your hands over your eyes every time he looked over at you.

<3 the only time you looked up from the floor was to see anakin with nothing but blood streaming from his nose, the red substance staining his mouth and his smiled at his opponent. that sight made you either never want to look away from your boyfriend, but at the same time want to instantly throw your head back into your hands.

<3 anakin won that fight. and you didn't understand a word of boxing terminology, but judging from the state of the other guy, you had to assume he won by alot. once the alarm rung to signify the end of the fight, you were on your feet. you heard a distinct 'what the hell' come out of the man that was allegedly ani's friend, but that didn't stop you on your path to the locker rooms.

<3 "thought i told you to keep her in the front room" you hear ani say to the guy trailing behind you. ani was taking chugs of water from his bottle, still only clad in his satin shorts.

<3 as much as you hated that fight, you had to admit how godlike ani looked after. his tan skin was glistening with sweat, highlighting every muscle in his body. bruises decorated only a small amount of his torso from his many fights. other than his busted lip and blood nose, ani made it out of the fight almost unscathed.

<3 "sorry boss, i just looked over and she was gone" the bodyguard looking man spoke before quickly making it out of the empty dressing room, leaving just you an anakin.

<3 the second you watched him leave you flung your self into ani's arms, making him stumble back. you didn't care about the sweat or blood on his body, you just wanted to be in his arms. your head rested in his chest as you melted into each-others bodies.

<3 "as much as i want to support you ani, i never want to come to one of your fights again."

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Female Reader/ .o7

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, sukuna gets a hangover + sick!, being ignored(-ish???), talking about that kiss, pizza and wings with your roomie [brief]

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 3.826k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n:: I started writing this chapter while I was finishing up chapter .o6 lolol!! also, tell me if u're not getting tagged in the chapters so that i can fix it! thx for the support and i hope you guys enjoy reading this fanfiction to the end! ❤

~~

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy~

. . .

After you had woken up from last night in Sukuna’s arms, you got up to take a small shower. Even though you didn’t want to think about it, it made its way into your mind. What Sukuna had said, the way he touched your body and kissed your neck. Why he mumbled little things like “you’re mine” made your heart ache.

How could you give up on Sukuna when he says things like that?

Reaching down to grab some shampoo, you slick your hair back and start to lather the soapy substance into your hair. You lift your head back and scrub all the worries and thoughts from your mind. 

But wishing the thoughts away, or the touches you shared, wasn’t going to change anything. Yes, you managed to defuse the situation, but it wasn’t with a little work. 

Sukuna’s mumbling replayed in your mind as you finished washing last night’s events off. Quickly grabbing one of his shirts to borrow and wearing your pants from the night before, you went to his kitchen and looked for something that’d be good for a hangover and breakfast. 

You had managed to find some eggs and bacon, adding in some coffee as a drink for Sukuna. Eventually, the sounds of Sukuna showering surfaced as you were plating the meal and adding some butter to a slab of toast you just finished toasting.

"Morning," You heard Sukuna grumble from the hallway. 

Seeing that he was clearly hungover and hungry, you guided him to his living room and placed his meal and coffee onto the coffee table in front of him. Also giving him a pat on the back, you went to grab your food to join him. He wasn’t visibly upset by the events of the other night, making you wonder if he really cared at all what happened.

Wasn’t it nerve wracking for him too? Didn’t it make him upset or nervous?

You didn’t get your answer for another few days. Not a text, nor a call. Even during classes, Sukuna was either not attending or he was taking a sick day. It worried you, since he had started skipping his tutoring lessons too. Concerned for his health, and all around well-being, you decided that stopping by with a few gifts would make him feel better.

After classes and work, you took another moment to send Sukuna a text that you’d be stopping by for a few minutes with some Advil for his headache. Although you felt it was cringey, you grabbed him some stomach medicine as well, making your way over to the male’s dorm a little after 10:30 pm.

You knocked on the door of Sukuna’s dorm and patiently waited for some kind of sign that he was home, and awake. Though, you doubted after a while of waiting. Making you wonder if he was intentionally ignoring you after the kiss. You didn’t blame him, if you kissed him and told him he was yours, you’d want to stop talking to him out of embarrassment. 

“Sukuna?” You tried after a minute or two of waiting, knocking again before there was a click and the door began to slowly creak open.

Seeing a tired, and disgruntled Sukuna behind it, with messy hair and hoods under his eyes, you let out a small coo of pity. He looked worn out and stressed, making you feel guilty for making him look like this. Sukuna, though, took a breath and mumbled a small greeting before letting you into his home.

“I’m sorry about not going to class,” He finally said, as if to defuse the awkwardness between you. “I haven’t been feeling well, I might’ve caught some bug.”

“Oh, really?” You asked, looking around the living room and seeing tissues strewn across the couch and coffee table. “I thought it was something else. Sorry for bothering you, I just came to tell you about the assignments you were missing.”

Sukuna hummed, sitting back down on his small throne of warm blankets and dirty tissues. “Ah, alright. I noticed you texted me too. Did you really bring Advil? It’d help right about now..”

You nod and sit next to Sukuna on the couch, handing him the bag you brought with you. Inside sat a small container of Advil, a bottle of water, some quick and easy to make chicken noodle soup. He looked at the bag’s contents before handing you the soup and taking out the water and medicine.

“Can you make this for me?” He asked, opening the Advil and water, taking a pill and a sip before laying back on the pillow he had under his head. “You can make yourself something too, but I haven’t been shopping yet.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” You said, standing and heading to the kitchen. “I’ll go out while you’re asleep to get you some things!”

You heard a grunt of disapproval that made you giggle, grabbing a pot from the cupboard and turning on the heat. Turning your attention to Sukuna, you see him lying face up with a pained expression. He looked more tired and ill than you’ve ever seen him before; even as a child it was hard for Sukuna to even get something small. 

Half the time, you thought he was invincible while you got the cold a lot during the snowy season. 

“The soup should be done in a few minutes,” You announced, walking around the living room and gathering the dirty tissues that littered the room. Grimacing, Sukuna nodded as you got closer. “Let me get your temperature too, just to be safe.”

“Fine,” He grumbled, taking a few steady breaths as you sat down and pressed a cold hand to his forehead. “Mm, your hand feels really nice.”

“‘Cause you’re burning up!” You exclaimed, quickly standing to grab the chicken noodle soup and return with a bowl prepared for Sukuna to eat. “Here, eat some of this okay? I’ll go get you some food for your fridge.”

Sukuna shook his head, sitting up to start eating. “No, that’s fine. I already feel pathetic for your help enough.”

Pathetic? Sukuna? Nah, that couldn’t be true.

“Don’t get all stubborn and pissy with me,” You said, a firm frown placed on your face as Sukuna ate. “Just because you’re sick doesn’t make you pathetic.”

There was a distant look that crossed Sukuna’s face before he went quiet and put down the bowl of soup. “It’s not that I’m sick.”

After waiting for a few minutes for an explanation, you dropped the conversation even though you knew exactly what he was talking about. That kiss. He probably regretted it, or thought what he said was stupid and childish. You pat Sukuna’s shoulder as he looks up at you, a confused expression now on his face.

“Now’s not the best time to talk about that,” You muttered, smiling warmly at the grumpy man. “You need to focus on getting better, and then tutoring for the next few days. Alright?”

Sukuna slowly nods, taking in your words. You didn’t need an explanation right now. Waiting a little while wouldn’t kill you.

“..Okay,” Sukuna muttered, finishing his food and laying back down. Watching you stand and gather your things before leaving the small apartment like home. 

You left the male’s dorm to go grab some more medicine when you got a text message. Quickly, you climbed into your car and picked up your phone. It was from Yuji. Thinking back, it had been almost a month since you had last spoken to him on the phone. That is, if you included all the studying you were doing for tests and such. 

Yuji- Hey, Y/n! I was wanting to ask you something about Sukuna?

You tilted your head in confusion, wondering if Sukuna had told him about what happened. Maybe he did? No, he’d probably keep something like that secret. Then again, you barely know him now. You’d never know.

You- Yeah? What’s up?

You also added another small excuse for your absence and you almost immediately got a response. The conversation started with Yuji asking about Sukuna’s grades, which you thought were pretty tame and understandable, so you told him point blank what was happening.

You- Sukuna’s kinda struggling in some classes, so my professor asked for me to tutor him. He’s getting better though. Did he tell you he got sick at all?

Yuji- Ah man! That explains it I suppose… I was wondering where he went after telling me what happened between y’all. ><;;

And just like that, you knew your suspicions were confirmed. With a sigh, you asked what he meant for confirmation:

Yuji- He told me about that party. He said something to a guy named Fushiguro about you and him. It was a really random convo, but I thought you knew already?

You were kind of confused for a moment, although you did see them talking you assumed it was about something else. Never did you think it was about you and Sukuna. Starting up the car, you dialed Yuji’s number and waited for him to answer. After a few moments, Yuji’s cheerful voice rang from your phone and you put the device to your cheek. Pulling out of the parking lot, you ask Yuji what Sukuna had talked about.

“It’s the first time we’ve talked on a phone!” Yuji chuckled. “A little weird, but I think I’ll get used to it, haha!”

You laughed with Yuji, starting to drive to the drug store. “I know, it’s a little weird for me too.”

There was a small silence before Yuji brought up the conversation Sukuna had with him.

“He told me that Fushiguro gave him some advice about y’alls relationship. Something like, ‘Just tell her what you’re feeling’, I think. Knowing my brother though, he’d keep all those feelings inside, and nudging him would just piss him off.”

You nodded, as if Yuji would see it, pulling into the parking lot of a local grocery store. The lights were dim, but it was quite apparent to you that it was still open. You unbuckled yourself and stepped out of the car, quickly putting your keys away and making note of what to buy.

“Sorry if this is really sudden, but..” You mumbled, walking through the rows of parked cars and vacant spots, lowering your voice slightly. “How were you and Sukuna after I left?”

You were rewarded with a small silence, a sigh and then a response: “It’s complicated.”

“I can handle complicated things, Yuji.”

He grumbled, but you understood why. The situation that they were in while you all lived there was rather harsh. Sukuna and Yuji’s dad was in a constant drunken state, making your parents worry a little about your safety and their’s. Often offering help to the boys whenever they needed a break from their father’s yelling and abuse. Although they couldn’t take Sukuna and Yuji in, they ended up like their second parents. 

Sukuna and Yuji loved your parents as much as they adored you, and it filled you with guilt now that you were unable to mend things for the past. Even though you couldn’t, you were determined to make it up to Sukuna, to Yuji. 

Half of you felt like you were trying to mend your own broken ego, but the other half was telling you that you owed it to them. Unable to swallow down that guilt, you began to accept it as Yuji started to talk to you about the events that transpired after your move.

“While I didn’t have many problems other than our old man, Sukuna kinda..” Yuji trailed, exhaling probably a lot of emotions he didn’t want to feel. “He went out of control, really.

“He got into lots of fights at school, got suspended a lot. Sometimes, he’d yell at me when he wasn’t in a good mood. Started smoking with the older kids. It was a lot for him.”

There was another pause as you got into the shopping area, pushing a cart in front of you and looking at the items that lined the shelves. Looking from ramen to other assorted things you felt were alright, you began to pile some basic things into the cart.

“Sukuna almost dropped out,” Yuji cut into your train of thought, making you stop suddenly in shock. Phone shaking in your hand and making some passerby glance at you with a confused and concerned look on their faces. “He didn’t, don’t worry. He made it to college, didn’t he?”

You pressed your brows and lips together and a frustrated pout. He’s barely passing though. He was gone for a lot of the year and is taking even more sick days right now. 

You didn’t tell Yuji this, seeing as it’d worry him. “Y/n?”

“Sorry, I’m shopping right now,” You say sheepishly, laughing weakly as you make your way over to another aisle and looking through a bunch of small pre-made meals that Sukuna might enjoy. “Go ahead, continue.”

“Alright.” Yuji responded, although he whined about bothering you which made you smile. “So, now, I suppose you can say that he’s doing well. He’s still smoking and shit, but that’s expected since it’s a habit. He’s working on it though.”

You let out a small hum, looking through the protein section, gathering what you thought would be good for some breakfast meat. Once Yuji voiced his concern about your silence, you reassured that you were alright.

“I promise, Yu.” You said, stopping once again as you continued to chat on the phone. “Sorry for bringing that stuff up again for you, I know it can be a little hard to talk about it–”

“It’s okay,” Yuji says in an attempt to calm you, with a boyish giggle ringing out from your speaker. “To be completely honest, it helped me relax a little while talking about it. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

A burn in your heart rested heavy in your chest. The feeling of guilt and worry made you ache, knowing that Sukuna had every right to want nothing to do with you. But the gratitude you felt for it was unimaginable. It was like it lifted your spirits, knowing Sukuna was still there to help if something went wrong. Yuji and you continued to talk on the phone for another few minutes– more like an hour or so –until you were in line to purchase your items. 

Once you got to the cashier, you smiled. “I’ll see ya soon, Yuji.”

“Mhm, c’ya!”

“Having a good day, hun?” said the woman at the register. Her messy dark hair up in a very loose bun. Her dark eyes shimmering with a sleepy delight. 

“Yea, it’s alright so far,” You answered as she started scanning your items. Looking through your pocket, you pulled out your wallet and began looking for your card. “I’ll be paying with a card.”

She nods at this, bagging things up as she rang your receipt and total. In the midst of this, you looked down at the shirt that you had borrowed from Sukuna. Realizing quickly that you still needed to return it even if you didn’t really want to. It smelled just like him, an almost calming smell that made your heart flutter.

“22.35 is your payment.”

Running the card through the small scanner, you started grabbing bags and piled them back into the cart. Tugging at the ends of the large shirt and pushing the shopping cart outside to where you parked. It had been almost twenty minutes since you got to the store when your phone buzzed with a notification in your back pocket. 

You got back into the vehicle and paused to look at the message, seeing Sukuna’s name on your lock screen. “He texted me?”

He’s so sick, I hope he doesn’t end up pushing himself..

The text consisted of a small thank you and to text him when you were finished. While you didn’t think it was much, you decided to text him back. 

You– I just got finished. I’ll be coming by shortly. I need to return your shirt to you too lol

Starting up the engine once again you pulled out of the parking spot, making your way over to the main road and turning on your blinker. Your phone buzzed again, but you decided to wait until you got to your college before looking at it. Thoughts raced through your head as you drove back home.

What should you tell Sukuna when you see him? Apologizing wouldn’t do much since it’s already too late, it’d be worth the shot though. You sigh, slowing down as you near your destination. 

Sitting in the car quietly and taking a moment to breath and work through all the events that’s happened. You pick up your phone and see Sukuna’s name again, unlocking the device and going to messages to see his text.

Sukuna– Keep it. I’ve been meaning to get rid of it anyways.

There was a small tingle in your body, a shiver that ran up your spine. Unable to make out what this shiver was, you looked down at the dark clothing piece. Seeing an old band name with a few small holes in the bottom of the shirt around the hem, ending just at your mid thigh. It was worn out, a random shirt you grabbed, but it felt like it was more than that to you. 

You responded with a small okay, quickly getting out of the car and collecting the groceries. It took a few tries, but you managed to get all the things you purchased up to the male’s dorm. 

“Sukuna, I’m back,” Knocking on the door, you waited for a few moments with shaky arms. The weight of all the food was making you tired at this point, and when Sukuna opened the door you rushed inside to put the bags on the counter.

“Haahh!! Finally!”

 A shocked expression was written on the sick man’s face mixed with an amused smirk. He closed the door and made his way over to you, looking through all the bags and then at you, taking in your panting figure and chuckling weakly.

 “I told you before, you didn’t need to do this.”

“Shush, just accept it,” You sighed, with a small smile on your face in return. 

Sukuna rolled his eyes and put down the blanket that covered him on the couch before he started helping you put up things. You bickered and whined about him helping you, but he told you it didn’t matter and that it’d be done faster if he helped. Reluctantly, you agreed and continued putting things in the fridge.

After everything was put away, you turned back and bumped into Sukuna. His maroon eyes angled downward, connecting with yours. Silence clouded over you and him, the air becoming thick again as you both stood in the middle of his kitchen.

“Y’know that it was nothing, right?” He eventually mumbled, his breathing low and voice deep. Sukuna’s words made your stomach churn, an uncomfortable feeling that you didn’t really like boiling in the pit of your gut.

You averted your eyes, pressing your lips together and breaking eye contact. Despite your silence, he continued, crossing his arms as well. “I was drunk, and acted without thinking.”

“..Thought so,” You mumbled quietly, clasping your hands behind your back. “I’ll see you later.”

It had been days since it had happened, and bringing it up so suddenly made you uncomfortable. Your heart ached, your stomach hurt. Everything was in pain. It tore you to bits, but you understood where he was coming from.

He doesn’t want me to get my hopes up.

So, after you had gotten your things and said a quick goodbye, you headed over to your dorm. A heavy heart laid bare in your chest, an ache that you felt wouldn’t be able to heal by tomorrow. With each step farther and farther away from him made the strings inside pluck a sad tune. You had denied you wanted any sort of thing for Sukuna, and for it to be returned, but even so you felt the pain was too much. Too much for your fragile heart, weak mind.

Unlocking the door to your home, you pushed open the door to the smell of pizza and chicken.

“Shoko?” You try, taking a few steps inside and looking around before spotting her in the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“Just getting some things made for you.” She answered, pushing a place of your favorite pizza and some hot wings with ranch towards you on the counter. “You were missing for a few days, hun. Got me wondering what happened to you.”

With a distasteful sigh, you grab the plate and make your way into the living room and she follows. Sitting on the couch with you and waiting silently to hear any form of a response. You didn’t want to talk, but letting the heartache sit and fester like a disease wouldn’t do you any good.

“I visited Sukuna,” You finally mumble, taking a bite of pizza and letting the flavors sit in your mouth for a moment before swallowing. “He’s sick, so I brought him a few things and some food.”

“...And?” She pressed, scooting closer while her show continued to play on the T.V.

“And nothing. I just said goodbye and will see him later.”

The response obviously didn’t make her happy, her brows pressing together slightly before she huffed and rested her cheek on your fist. Letting her elbow hang from the top of the couch, relaxing her body into the cushions. “That’s odd. Aren’t y’all a thing?”

You cringed. Getou probably said something like that. No, Gojo.

“No. Just friends.”

Shoko shrugged, stealing one of your wings and looking at the T.V. “You two looked like you were dating.”

Whatever that meant, you didn’t let it get to you. No matter how much it made you blush or it made the feelings in your tummy churn. “You and Getou have lost brain cells.”

After you had eaten and said goodnight to Shoko, you made your way into the bathroom and got into the shower. Washing your hair and face, making sure to try and relax despite the fact Shoko’s words didn’t leave you. 

“You two looked like you were dating.”

She’s just seeing things then! You said to yourself, pouting your lip a little. Her and Getou acted like a couple too, but it’s not like they were actually dating. They were just fuck buddies that got high together whenever he visited. 

Sukuna and I are too different to be dating.

Sukuna doesn’t forgive me either.

Once dried off and dressed, you went into your bedroom to sleep. But sleep wouldn’t come easily when you felt a sting in your chest and a never ending flow of nightmares that kept you on your toes. 

a/n: i've been worried that my tagging isn't really working >_>;;; but i'll try retagging as many as possible so that you guys get the reading you wanted! ik chapter .o6 was a lot, seeing as we've got a long way to go before the ending, but i wanted some action so that it doesn't get too boring and plain. anyways, thx for the support and hope to see you guys soon! ❤

Chapter Song Theme: — Stela Cole - Love Like Mine (Lyrics) - YouTube

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us, @gumis-girl, @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-n-l0ve, @jiordeci

last chapter || next chapter

[l0t4n]

WHAT IF THEY WERE. WALTER WHITE

a/n I have many wips and I am struggling to finish any of them so you get this for now. Also keep in mind I never actually finished the show and I didn't like it anyways I just think the idea is funny. Posting as a buffer for everyone who did not follow for nsfw bc I'm posting it 2nite regardless watch out

Contains TW drugs, references to violence. What it says. Would they do the shit Walter White did in Breaking Bad? The brothers + dateables. Gn mc mentioned once

LUCIFER

-Yeah.

-He would do absolutely all of it step by step, word for word

-Maybe he would not be as mean as Walter is, but he would absolutely give that “I AM. The danger, Skylar” speech

-Just to MC instead

-And Mammon is Jesse

MAMMON

-I think in his head he would like to think he would/could

-Definitely fucking can't though

-Doesn't understand the chemistry even if someone guided him, would definitely fuck up really bad

-Would be in it for the money, would brag about how he'd make an excellent drug kingpin, is lying

-The moment he needs to shoot someone he's running away

LEVIATHAN

-Not a chance bro

-The closest he would get would be filling in the role of Gale

-Even then, that's a stretch

-It's too scary :(( what if all the drug mules think he's cringe

-Yeah sure he did all those illegal things but the police probably wouldn't care so much if he was cooler

-Absolutely not suited for the meth-making lifestyle

SATAN

-Wouldn't do it if it was his life on the line. Would only do it to get back at someone else

-Ruining Lucifer’s reputation by selling illicit substances out of the HoL

-Probably the most suitable for drug manufacturing. Not anything else though

-Would be the most likely to be despised by everyone else in the distribution chain

-It's a high-stress environment and he takes out his anger on all of them

ASMODEUS

-Personal protective equipment is ugly and the meth business is a thankless one. There is no possibility for him to gain fame and attention doing that unless he also wants to go to prison

-Probably finds it kind of gross and messy too

-There are a number of illegal activities that are far better suited for a demon like him and he knows it

BEELZEBUB

-Eats the meth

-The end

BELPHEGOR

-Perhaps unsurprisingly, would likely have both the intelligence and personality to make it work

-But the meth-making process takes forever, and there are so many points where you can accidentally die, so I think he knows better

-Would accidentally fall asleep and melt his skin off his body

-Also has virtually no reason to do it in the first place; isn't hurting for cash like Mammon and doesn't really care about his reputation like Lucifer

DIAVOLO

-Would have trouble grasping the severity of drug manufacturing and dealing

-Might only get into the scheme if coaxed by the promise of friendship

-I do not put it above him to realize that it is also illegal, however

-Albeit he has had his moments of considering himself above the law, which, if anyone is, it's him, so maybe not

-Will bail the moment someone yells at him or pulls a gun on him, whatever happens first

BARBATOS

-Gus

-His moral alignment and motivations are too vague. Either his moral compass is too strong or he would be the best drug kingpin the devildom has ever seen. Maybe both at the same time

-Would get suitably angry if anyone else got involved though

-Money laundering pro. If nothing else is true I know this is canon

SIMEON

-Oh good heavens

-Deary me

-Maybe with his skills in baking he would do well, but you'd need to lie to him about what you're making

-Shocked and appalled when he finds out

-Most everyone else is nice to him though

SOLOMON

-Probably makes illicit substances for his funny evil wizard experiments

-Since it's a form of cooking though the batches always end up terrible

-Meth that makes all your bones turn to jelly and kills you in five days

-Since he is far removed from human matters of mortality and injury, he probably thinks it's funny

-Evil ass

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Do you think Marinette really loves Adrien or does she loves the idea of him in her head?

Idk but I'm agree with Alya in Elation that you can't really love someone you don't know and Marinette arguably know Adrien only on surface level, either from the magazines or stalking him. We never got a scene where they talk together to get to know each other and then BAM! They just get together.

I also feels like Adrien's love for Marinette also more a rebound than anything. The writers can say anything they want, that Adrien fell in love with Marinette in Pupeteer2. But you don't develop feelings for someone you barely know, especially when in that said episode Adrien still think Marinette hate him. It's just weird. But again, idk, maybe it just me because I don't catch feelings to someone I barely talk to. That's just creepy AF no offense.

It's really hard to say because canon is all over the place when it comes to how close Adrien and Marinette are. Season three and four make them feel like little more than acquaintances, but if you think back to seasons one and two, they legitimately were friends.

Adrien turned to Marinette for dating advice (Frozer). Marinette and Adrien gamed for hours to prepare for a tournament (Gamer). Marinette and Adrien went to a party with their friends and danced together (Despair Bear). Marinette, Adrien, and their friends worked together to make a movie (Horrificator). I could go on, but the general gist is that it feels disingenuous to say that they barely interact. They interact a lot! It's just limited to the first two seasons.

I scanned through the episode list while writing this and seasons one and two have them interact in a meaningful way in about half of the episodes while seasons three and four got distracted by the new love interests, Lila, and the awful broken Ladynoir dynamic, dramatically cutting back on the Adrinette content to the show's detriment.

The other issue is that Marinette's crush is written more and more like a celebrity crush as the seasons go on, making it feel less and less genuine. So it's understandable to feel like she doesn't really love Adrien given how the show presents her, but if you tone down the crush to a non-comedic level, it does feel earned to me and I am also the kind of person that needs to know someone before developing feelings. Celebrity crushes and instant love are things I rarely enjoy in media probably at least in part because I'm ace.

I actually didn't get truly invested in the love square until Origins showed us why they first developed feelings. There's a reason I treat that episode as the golden standard for characterization. It's some of the best writing Miraculous has ever done. The writers crammed an impressive amount of content into 40 minutes and elevated the silly teen crushes into something with real substance. I will forever be sad that the rest of the show falls so short of that episode.

Moving on!

The Puppeteer 2 thing feels like a bad joke and it might be? It's hard to tell given how weird this show can get with its humor. Either way, it would have made a lot more sense and been much cuter if Adrien fell for Marinette when she unknowingly confessed her crush to him Glaciator 2 instead of falling for her after she accidentally forces a kiss on him during a prank gone wrong.

As for the rebound element... yeah, I don't disagree. Everything about the reverse crush was just weird because Ladybug falling for Chat Noir felt way more honest and earned than Adrien falling for Marinette given the way seasons five plays. I mean, the episode right before the reverse saw Ladynoir get married and have children, but Adrien is the one whose feelings are true and Marinette is the one having a rebound? Sure, writers. Sure.

If the reverse had happened right off of the season four finale, though? Then that actually could have worked. In those episodes, Marinette supported Adrien while their friends were oblivious to his true feelings, Adrien finally saw just how much pressure Ladybug was under, and Chat Noir supported Ladybug unconditionally in her darkest hour. I'm personally not a fan of the crushes switching mid-show, but I'd be lying if I said that wasn't a solid setup to lead into it. Adrienette and Ladynoir had never felt closer.

I think it's fair to say that this is why Miraculous is such a complex show for a lot of fans. It has truly spectacular setups, but the payoff always seems to fall flat on its face.