#I do not simply do not trust other adults at a base level

[secretcherimaybe]

[saintsenara]

Thoughts on Hermione/Sirius?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i have decided to partially back this, on the grounds that i think there's the capacity for an initial spark which would fizzle out extremely quickly when the two realised they found the other incredibly irritating.

although it's worth saying - as it always is - that i don't have an issue in the slightest with the age gap, or with the fact that sirius and hermione's acquaintance was established when she was a child. these people are fictional.

the initial attraction is obviously going to be based in sirius and hermione's mutual respect of the other's cataclysmic loyalty. it's obvious in canon that sirius adores the fact that harry has friends who embody a trait he values above all others - which hermione proves her mettle in right in front of his face when she helps harry save his life in prisoner of azkaban - and, in a world in which he survives order of the phoenix, the respect that he'd have for hermione for sticking with the horcrux hunt would clearly be immense.

for her part, hermione clearly really rates not only the comfort sirius provides harry, but the guidance - she urges harry constantly in goblet of fire to confide in sirius and finds the advice sirius gives his godson to be above reproach. she evidently respects him, and she evidently thinks of him as wise and sensible.

and sirius repays this trust by, for example, backing hermione's assessment of barty crouch sr.'s treatment of winky - which is a defence of a principle she sincerely holds but which harry and ron think is ridiculous which harry and ron clearly didn't expect - and i imagine hermione was hugely impressed by this.

however... what would be more incompatible about the relationship rears its head in order of the phoenix.

hermione's resilience is one of her more admirable traits - but it comes with the negative side-affect that she has a canonically low tolerance for moping. she's of the opinion throughout this book that sirius could get a grip on what is obviously depression if he simply tried hard enough - and i think the most accurate way to write her post-war is to imagine that she's someone who deals with grief by trying to "fix" things [as she does in canon in half-blood prince, when she keeps trying to push harry to talk about sirius].

i don't think this is a fault - it's the way many people cope with grief, and good for them - but i do think that it wouldn't align at all with how a sirius who's lived to see the age of peace would want to approach the task of grieving. i think he's going to think that she's meddling and she's going to think that he's falling into self-destruction and it's just going to be a mess.

[ron - in contrast - would get it, and this is why i'm now fully ronius-pilled...]

hermione and sirius also diverge in order of the phoenix over what she [not unreasonably] perceives as sirius' recklessness and he [not unreasonably] perceives as her being self-servingly risk-averse. as adults, i think this would just cause them to butt heads in ways they both found quite boring - especially because sirius would be looking, in choosing a lover, for someone very like james, who was a fatal combination of daring, reckless, and permissive.

he wouldn't be getting that in hermione - who, while undeniably brave, isn't audacious in the way sirius values, and who shows affection primarily by nagging and meddling. she would understand telling him off for speeding on his bike as an expression of her concern for him and an articulation of what he means to her. he would regard it as insufferable - and i don't think he'd go in for the constant bickering and debating which is hermione's love-language.

i also think - much as i think when it comes to shipping hermione with snape - that they wouldn't be intellectually compatible. not in terms of level of intelligence, but in terms of this intelligence's expression. sirius' intellectual arrogance - that sort of "oh i know all this already" vibe - is complete anathema to someone who loves to acquire information. i think sirius is tuning out pretty quickly when hermione is giving him a page-by-page review of her new book - and i think she'd be right to consider that rude.

so my proposal? add ron in as the third.

that way everyone wins.

[favorvn]

Yknow, I'm just going to put this out there.

I am really disgusted by a lot of these accusations hurled towards Lily without an ounce of proof. Most of these accusations simply feel like they are throwing anything at the wall to stoke the flames of social outrage in order to get people to react. It's gross, and it is tiring.

Here are a couple of my thoughts...

- Yes, what happened in the server with someone being falsely accused was really bad. It hurt people involved and destroyed trust. My heart really goes out to this person, and they have every right to feel hurt and to not forgive anyone involved in this situation. There is no excuse or explanation that can or will justify this. Bad mistakes were made, and someone was unjustly and irreparably hurt. A fact separate to this, though, is that Lily was given this false information after being harassed at that point for MONTHS, possibly even a full year. After that long of being harassed, it isn't a surpise that a mistake like this happened. As fucked as that situation was, Lily is a victim in this situation. It's strange that we don't really see this acknowledged. One person being a victim in an awful situation doesn't just negate another victim.

- Stealing code from fourms...? That has to be a joke. The really cool thing about code, and what has caused leaps and bounds in technological advancement, is that historically, code has mostly always been freely shared and a community based effort and knowledge sharing. On help forums, people share code with each other and correct each other's code. This is doubly so for Renpy, which makes it so lovely to learn! People don't really gatekeep knowledge when it comes to code, we encourage learning and skill improvement. Unless there is PROOF that code was fully ripped from a game (which even in that case, I would bet that the original person found their code from a forum as well, and the second person may have found a similar code to it because code really doesn't differ too much as it is a tool, a means to an end, not creative expression.) I really just don't believe any of those accusations at all. This goes for all accusations without direct proof.

- Regarding the criticism towards Lily's sexuality and gender identity: That isn't your or anyone else's business. It is frankly gross to try and demonize someone else's gender identity and sexual identity journey.

- I have seen multiple comments /callout posts / threads that revolve around a weird level of white knighting for Ya-Boi. Ya-Boi is an adult. They are both adults. Stop infantilizing Ya-boi and assuming that he can't voice when he is uncomfortable by something. He can, and he doesn't need anyone to speak for him. Let the business between them be private as anyone else's has a right to be. If you were actually concerned for Yaboi you would have checked in with him personally in a private message rather than just putting his personal life out there and forcing him to out his own personal life to the public 💀 like I really doubt he wanted to have to do that.

- Also, the complaint about 18+ erotic art being posted in a clearly titled 18+ EROTIC server??? I seriously laugh everytime I read that callout. If you join a server that clearly has the word 'erotic' in the title and you get mad because erotic art was posted? That's fully on you. What's next? Will you go to the p*rn hub and be mad because p*rn was shown? Get real. Stop pearl clutching and grow up. Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions of joining the clearly labeled server. The worst part to me is, I know if you voiced this complaint, anyone in the server would be kind enough to oblige and apologize to you and make sure it doesn't happen again. Because they are kind people who do care about how people around them feel. But frankly, I find this complaint fucking ridiculous. It was in the title of the damn server.

Look, at the end of the day you don't need to have a reason to dislike someone. You can just dislike someone. It's enough just to say that you don't like someone and end it at that. You don't need to try and make a callout post and rally people to also dislike someone so you can feel justified in your dislike towards them. You don't have to like everyone you come across in life, and that's totally fine. It's human even.

Please reevaluate some of these points on if they actually make sense, if they are actually fair, if you actually have proof for them. If you are this harsh on Lily, I really feel bad about how harshly you must judge yourself. To remain at some obscure morally upright standard that you are arbitrarily imposing on yourself at all times. It's okay to love your yan characters and want others to interact with them. It's okay to make mistakes, it's human to fuck up sometimes, to learn, and to grow from it.

What will happen when you make a mistake that you tried to call out another person for? Will you forgive yourself? Will you spiral in self loathing? What happens when you make a mistake that you would have called someone else out for if given the chance? Will you make an exception for yourself that you know you wouldn't have granted to another person? Will you allow yourself to grow in ways that you won't allow others to? What happens when you get a partner and they make an honest mistake? Will you call them out to the public? Trying to get others to also dislike them? Where does empathy get to start and end?

My advice is: Have some empathy for yourself and for others. Life will be much kinder to you that way.

I won't go through every point, I just wanted to say my piece on those things. This link is the post I am referring to. Ya-boi's response disects everything in more depth than I will.

[crusherthedoctor]

Not a hot take, a general question

What are levels that most hate that you enjoy, and levels that most enjoy that you hate? :>

Sorry this took a few days, but I've been trying to stick with examples that are near-unanimously loved or hated rather than being simply divisive. I also excluded examples of the "this game in general has weird physics, etc" variety… with one exception that won't surprise you.

I Give It a Gex/10:

Marble - The level design is blocky, though I can forgive that more than most since it was the first game, but the aesthetic is really unique for a lava stage, let alone the first one in the series.

Labyrinth - This one is cheating because I'm mainly including it for various mods that have given it a serious glow up, such as the Mania Misfits Pack. As such, I can't bring myself to hate the original, because I always think of those versions now.

Sky Base - Autoscrolling doesn't work so well for Sonic, but conceptually it's a climactic zone.

Wacky Workbench - Growing up is when you realise it's not a tragedy, but a comedy. Whereas other people jeer at it, I jeer with it. Also, the Good Future is beautiful, and so is the Past.

Marble Garden - Slightly downplayed since few outright hate it, but it's often considered the weakest zone in S3&K. I don't know how this can be, given the music, the spinning tops, the boss encounter with Tails helping you out, and the gratuitous pools of Pepsi.

Sandopolis - Act 1 is perfectly fine in my book, and I will not sit here while fans continue to slander it. Act 2 may involve a lot of stopping and waiting, but even so, I find it less tedious than other examples.

Egg Rocket - I really love the concept here, and while it kicked my shit in as a young'un, I don't think it's that bad as an adult.

Mania's Oil Ocean - I saw frequent complaints about why they included this zone, to which I say "Did you forget about the Fire Shield? Did you forget about the remixes?"

This Is Like Underselling Eggman At Crusher's House:

Prison hallway levels in SA2 - Overly cramped grey hallways are not particularly fun. And before someone points out the small graphical details, yes, those are nice and all, but ultimately they can't change how I feel about these stages overall. While I'm not keen on the mech shooting in SA2 in general, the other stages at least give you some room to breathe.

Lost Impact - I feel like this one stage has received the '06 treatment where it was once hated, but is now hailed as a 2deep4u masterpiece because of vibes and interpretation. This is not the case with me. I don't care what your intention is, I don't care what infinite IQ stunt you're pulling with your method of gameplay and story integration: if it's not fun, you've lost me. "But Crusher, this is perfect because it compliments the context of the story, it makes you feel just like Shadow in his situation, muh deep layers would be lost if it was actually enjoyable-" Call me basic, but if the only way you can paint a narrative is by making it shite, I don't think I can trust you with anything. And remember, this is Sonic the Hedgehog, not some indie RPG that most people watch other people's playthroughs of rather than play it themselves.

'06 Crisis City - Generic dilapidated city is not too interesting, despite the tornado carrying a car's best efforts. The Generations version is thankfully salvaged by having fun level design, even if it's the same aesthetically.

All the islands in Frontiers - The Cyber Space stages don't count since they're just Non-Specific Highway and reused Generations assets. Otherwise… well, as you might have guessed by now, bland atmosphere is my Kryptonite. I can put up with some questionable design choices if it's at least memorable in other areas, as that can soften the blow for me to an extent, but if it can't even provide the latter, it makes the former so much more excruciating for me. Needless to say, I do not have much nice things to say about Grass Simulator, Sand Simulator, Rock Simulator, Grass Simulator 2: The Return of Jafar, or Grass Simulator 3: This Is Why Eggman's In Mario Land Now.

[shirogane-oushirou]

edit: i decided this would drive me nuts, but i still want to keep it in case there's something worth salvaging in the future. ignore all of this ^_^

for some reason i'm interested the idea of poke!ren beginning our friendship with that like... unintentional infantilization a lot of people do with disabled people when they're trying not to be actively ableist? not because i enjoy that LMAO ABSOLUTELY NOT -- and my pokesona is prideful as hell and would DESPISE it -- but i think it would make sense.

[cw casual ableism, infantilism of disabled ppl. also, disclaimer: i'm basing some of this loosely on my own health issues so it may not 100% apply to all disabled people. just want to keep that straight LMAO.]

most many doctors are SUPREMELY ableist, but doc!ren went into his field SPECIFICALLY to help disabled people and so focused on how best to treat each individual person according to their personalities and disabilities. sure, poke!ren's also technically both a clinical doc and researcher, but if doc!ren is like 80% clinical 20% research, poke!ren is like 10% clinical 90% research.

so poke!ren... doesn't have that knowledge. he does mostly field work and some lab work, with the rare "what do you think about this specific medical case?" appointment. he's the kind of person who hates the more vocal brands of ableism, but is consistently overbearing with his treatment of disabled people in a way that's inadvertently exhausting to deal with because "what happens if i tell him this is also ableist? will he have a fit? will he get angry or upset? will he decide disabled people are too picky if i'm not the Perfect Disabled Little Meow Meow?" so you just end up suffering through it.

therefore, he goes full "paper skin, glass bones," with me, very, "oh i can get that for you! no don't stand up, i can do that. can i cook something for you? no no no, i mean, i know you COULD, but wouldn't it be /easier/ for me to make it for you? you might hurt yourself!". 🙄

we have an evening outing in another city. it gets dark, we're not at the point where we're comfortable staying at his place together, he offers to maybe help me find a hotel, and i say "nope i've got this!" and fly away home on a Fucking Lugia.

and then he has to sit with that and realize some things.

like the fact that he has no idea who the fuck i am beyond surface level. after all, i've been carrying a legendary bird around in my back pocket and he didn't know until now, months after we first met.

like the fact that i can take care of SOME things by myself with the right "tools" or pkmn. i SOMETIMES need help, but i don't ALWAYS need help, and if i DO need help i have the option to tell him myself.

like the fact that he simply saw me as Disabled. as though i didn't have a life before or outside of Disability. i was simply the pitiable, lonely, disabled vn nerd he talks about games with.

and then he has to relearn Me from square one, and it makes our relationship so much stronger. we're able to work on our perfect balance together and build the trust that HE won't take things over for ME when I'M capable of something, and that I will let HIM know when i need HIM to do something I can't do. he has to trust that i'll let him be more doting on the days when i'm having flare-ups, but simultaneously has to respect when there are things i still want to do myself even on those worst days.

.........idk. this is a lot of words to say "god i want to be taken care of, but in a way where the other person sees me as an adult with a personality and decision-making ability and a life that's deeply AFFECTED by disability in many ways but isn't JUST disability." yk?

tbch, after writing it all out, this maaaay end up as canon..... OR it might remain a theoretical offshoot depending on how comfy i am when the Mental Movies (tm) of us finding that trust come together. poke!ren's supposed to be like. PURE escapism, so something like this honestly might hit too close to home to feel good fdhfghfg. like at least he'd end up learning that balance, which is nice... but everything leading up to it? 😬 Maybe A Bit Too Painful....

(damn. verbose king over here, wrote all of this TWICE just to say "i might throw it out" lKNMADKJFNKJDNF)

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 18: Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste… Touch: de Sousa’s banquet provides a sensory experience on multiple levels.

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

That night, when we left for the house de Sousa had been renting, we traveled on horseback. To be specific, we were to share a horse rather than taking a palanquin. I tried to raise one eyebrow in inquiry, since it seemed odd that Mitsuhide would switch transportation modes.

"My goodness, Kaya, is there something wrong with your face? Or are you attempting, for whatever reason, to imitate a rabbit?” Of course he raised one eyebrow as he said it.

The sixth thing I hate about Mitsuhide. He can raise one eyebrow and won’t teach me how.

I sighed and gave up on the nonverbal cue. "No tiny box tonight?"

"On the small chance that we'll need to make a hasty exit, I would prefer not to leave that up to the speed of a palanquin." He gestured to his horse. "Up you go."

My kimono was too narrow for me to hop up with my customary acrobatics, but I managed well enough without ripping anything, although I was left somewhat draped across the horse. “Do you plan to lead me across the city?"

Not dignifying that with a comment, he simply swung up behind me. "I trust you won’t fall off."

Given that I was sitting rather (too) snugly against him, I figured it was an unlikely prospect especially when he reached past me for the reins. Not wanting to think about how his body felt, firm and solid against my back, I instead pulled the conversation back to necessary business. "Is this another sit there and be distracting evening, or will I get to use my new toys?" I patted my hair. At Mitsuhide’s instructions Sho had placed three knots in it, each secured by one of the hairstick/lockpicks.

"Plans may need to be adjusted based upon the evening. de Sousa has promised some form of 'entertainment,' whatever that might mean to him, which may allow us an opportunity to search through his papers." He spoke directly into my ear, his voice pitched to a low purr that I could hear quite clearly under the sound of the horse's hooves on the hard packed dirt of Sakai's streets. "One hopes that you were underplaying your ability to read the Nanban script."

"I can read it. Not quickly though. It depends on how cramped the handwriting is – Westerners often write letters on top of each other to save on paper." I drew a little plus sign in the air to demonstrate their method of ‘crossing pages.’ “But I can at least read their alphabet.” No need to mention that that learning had taken place in modern Japan. But while I'd taken classes in school on the English language and alphabet, I'd never been particularly great student. Even so, the knowledge from that early education had returned when I began taking lessons from Francisco, and motivated by the need to locate my brother, I’d learned far faster as an adult than I ever had as a teenager.

Mitsuhide made a noncommittal sound that indicated he was thinking things through. Likely, he had a plan B, possibly a plan C, and was refining them as we spoke. Aki was much the same. Actually I was as well. Contingencies could make the difference between dead or alive.

I left him to his unspoken plotting. It was interesting how he seemed to be able to lock his thoughts and feelings away and completely focus like this. While I still felt off balance and uncertain after last night's argument, for Mitsuhide, it appeared to be done and over with. He was as ambivalently autocratic to me as he had been on the first day in Sakai. In fact, neither yesterday's argument nor that night last week when it had seemed like we’d accepted overtures of mutual friendship had made any dent at all his this personal armor. Or maybe they had, but he’d simply replaced the armor with something stronger.

While I was glad to leave the fight with dust, I regretted losing those moments of peace and understanding.

de Sousa's townhouse was not very far from Mitsuhide’s (we easily could have walked, were it not for our need to stay in character). Like the one Mitsuhide was using, the building was longer than it was wide, with a storefront that abutted the street. Unfortunately for de Sousa the rear of the house was against the town's moat, and the fragrance that arose from it suggested some of Sakai citizens used it as a toilet.

I didn’t realize I was wrinkling my nose in response to the smell, until Mitsuhide stared at me, and tapped his own nose.

Whoops.

Carefully, I wiped my face of all expression, aware that Mitsuhide was watching as I did so. He nodded approvingly as Kaya’s bland mask slid into place, and then undid all my work by noting, “One would hope we won’t be required to employ the moat as part of that quick exit.”

Oh gross.

He gave me that smirk, and I wondered if his lack of tastebuds also extended to a lack of an olfactory system. Although if that was the case, why did he habitually burn cinnamon and sandalwood?

I was still trying to blank out my face again when a servant appeared. The servant let us inside, escorting us through a semi-exposed courtyard, past the offices and storehouses, and up to de Sousa’s living quarters on the second floor. The narrow rooms weren’t really adequate for any sort of entertaining, so, rumors of a 'banquet' had been greatly exaggerated. No more than dozen other people had been invited, including, to my surprise, Yoshimoto. If I got a free moment later, I would have to ask him how he had managed that. He’d probably just say that an Imagawa does not need to manage.

de Sousa had made an attempt to create a Western style dining atmosphere, by pushing several long, tables into one big rectangle. But without a way to raise the tables to waist level, and without any Western chairs, there wasn’t any other choice but to eat kneeling, the traditional Japanese way.

Mitsuhide was seated next to de Sousa, and across from Shojumaru, who claimed that he would be helping to translate anything, if needed (via some careful eavesdropping, I learned de Sousa's Jesuit translator - a.k.a that murderous priest - had been sent to one of the Southernmost islands). Apparently de Sousa wasn’t certain what to do with me, the only female present, but ‘Kyubei’ got his Yandere on and stated that he refused to let me out of his sight amongst all these other men.

Upon being asked by de Sousa to translate that, Shojumaru told him that Kyubei wanted his whore close to him, because he didn’t trust other men around her.

Ok. Ouch.

Whore.

See if I run interference between you and Sho any more.

The final result of that interaction had me seated between Mitsuhide and Yoshimoto, and across from Shojumaru, ready to pick up on any information spoken in Portuguese. But if Mitsuhide thought that the dinner table discussion would offer him any information on Hideyoshi, or Mai, or the missing weapons, he would be disappointed with what I overheard. While I dutifully tuned in to the conversation for any non-translated threats or other dangers, what I got was a conversation about art (which explained Yoshimoto's presence, as the man enthusiastically took part in a long discussion of Italian masters).

In the meantime, what should be done about the mound of stew in my bowl? It was some heavy meat based thing, smelled somewhat gamey - not off, exactly, but to someone like myself, who prefers a plant based diet whenever possible, it was difficult to choke down. Idly, I noticed that Shojumaru wasn't eating his either. Oh he was going through the motion of lifting his food to his mouth, but eventually it ended up back in a dish. Had someone poisoned the food?

Hm. No one else had any problems with the meal, so maybe Shojumaru was also a vegetarian. It was possible he was a strict buddahist, as some sects did recommend a no-meat diet. Mitsuhide had no difficulty with his serving of glop, but then it probably reminded him of his own cooking.

 "What do you think, Miss Kaya?" Startled, I realized that Shojumaru had addessed me. "Senhor de Sousa wants to know if you are interested in art?"

"Oh. Um. I don't know much about it." Which was true about both myself, and Kaya. While a courtesan likely would be able to intelligently converse about all forms of the arts, I was pretty sure that everyone was aware that Kaya had been a peasant sold into slavery. It would not be surprising for a peasant to be ignorant of art and culture. "But Master Kyubei is teaching me all sorts of interesting things about books and drawings."

Shojumaru translated that accurately to de Sousa, who then responded with something extremely crude. Thankfully, I'm not easy to blush, but my pulse must have jumped, because Mitsuhide gave me a quick glance. Then again, it could be because one of the words de Sousa used was familiar in any language. Even Yoshimoto looked displeased when he heard it.

Once again Shojumaru smoothly erased de Sousa’s crudity, saying diplomatically that no knowledge is wasted.

At this point Mitsuhide-Kyubei entered the conversation. "This one was an ignorant char when I purchased her. I find it far more satisfying to teach someone how to respond to my suggestions, what to think about the world of art, how to behave and to obey my desires. It’s actually faster than retraining a stubborn woman's badly learned habits." He turned and laid a possessive hand on my arm. "She responds to tutelage admirably."

Gee thanks Professor Higgins. Glad to know you're growing accustomed to my face.

He wasn't finished yet. "It is lovely to take a wild thing, domesticate it and know it is your creation."

While Shojumaru rapidly translated this for the Nanban, Yoshimoto chose this moment to rise to Kaya's defense. "I find it more satisfying to meet a woman who can teach me something. Passionate arguments are more exciting than blind obedience."

Which, thank you Yoshimoto for the defense, but your timing sucks. Thanks to him, I hadn’t been able to hear what de Sousa and Shojumaru were saying. Had Yoshimoto forgotten that he was responding to a creature who was just a character Mitsuhide was portraying? Or was he simply behaving as he would normally? I couldn’t even reassure him that everything was fine, not here.

"Passionate arguments are fine, as long as one wins them." Mitsuhide addressed Yoshimoto for the first time. "The greatest victory is to take the sword of defeated opponent as they fall to their knees and swear fealty to you.''

That... apparently had a double meaning for Yoshimoto, who flinched at Mitsuhide's sudden intense stare. Shojumaru now sent a rather inscrutable look our way as well, and the increased tension in the air felt choking. If I had not been disguised, I would have tried to change the subject, or defuse things somehow - but Kaya wasn't the forthright type. In character, I could only stare at my bowl while the gamey smell of meat added to an overall feeling of illness.

Finally de Sousa, who must have simply wanted to be the center of attention, clapped his hands, and announced he had hired a theatrical troupe to perform dances for the evening. Within moments, a house servant had silently cleared the table, and rearranged the room with a mocked up performance space at the far end.

A group of musicians and dancers emerged from the top floor – had they been sitting up there waiting all night? Hopefully someone had managed to get them some food… but I doubted de Sousa would have thought of it. Then again, given what we’d just been fed, the entertainers were probably better off.

Though the musicians weren't loud enough to be distracting, the dancers were beautiful, and wore exquisite jewel toned dresses with even brighter embroidery that sparkled in the lantern light. Their movements were slow, but hypnotic, and after that heavy meal, no one seemed inclined to do anything by sit and watch.

During the great rearrangement, Mitsuhide and I had positioned ourselves near the stairs to the ground floor, and while the rest of the guests were enthralled by the dancers, we slipped out of the room and tiptoed down the steps.

As we skirted around the edge of the courtyard, something splashed my sleeve. I glanced up to the exposed sky, just as Mitsuhide said, "Good. Rain. That is auspicious." He sounded like he was talking to himself, so I didn’t ask why he thought that was so. Maybe the sound of the rain on the tile roof would cover up any noise we made.

I followed him into the room de Sousa had set up as an office, or, well a private study of sorts. The only difference between de Sousa's office and the one that Mitsuhide was using in our own dwelling, was that he, like Francisco, (and, for that matter Aki) had somehow managed to lug a Western style desk into the room – then again, maybe Aki and Francisco had transported theirs in via the wormhole or something. Or maybe there was some ship that only carried furniture from one county to another so that their merchants could have some place familiar to sit.

Surprisingly, de Sousa's desk was not kept locked, which was a disappointing because I wanted to try out my new toys. Either he had nothing to hide or, more likely, he didn’t believe anyone here would be sophisticated enough to investigate him. Mitsuhide opened a drawer and removed a small stack of scrolls and letters written on the heavier western parchment. "One hopes that you’ll find these readable."

It was an intimidating pile. "What are the odds that we can bring some of these home? Er, back to the town house." It was not home.

"I have no knowledge of how he has these categorized or whether he would notice something  missing, but it’s best to cause as little disturbance as possible. Keep everything in the same order.” At his borderline mansplain, I considered pointing out that I had searched his room without disturbing anything, but since that would probably prompt another argument, I held my tongue. “I suggest you scan each one for key words until you can confirm whether it is business or personal. I will stand guard." He moved to the doorway stayed there like a sentinel.

As that seemed like a workable plan, I quickly settled into a rhythm for the project. The letters on western parchment were all written on a feminine hand, and proved to be from his 'dearest Paloma.' I flipped through those with only a cursory glance. Mixed in with the personal letters were inventory lists, shipping records, even a few papers that looked like invoices, which potentially could pinpoint a time period and date the weapons were due to arrive. "Do you know about when de Sousa pulled back the shipment? Most of these are dated."

He gave me an approving nod – my question must have merit. "Mid to late seventh month. At least that was when we learned of it. However things might have been moving behind the scenes prior to that." He spoke quietly, the majority of his attention was on the door.

Just to be safe, I skipped past any correspondence prior to ‘Iunius.’ I couldn’t remember what year the Portuguese had switched from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian, but neither one corresponded to the Japanese lunar cycle anyway. Once I found the correspondence in the likeliest window of time, I read the letters more carefully. One shipping document referenced “Nofunga” Oda -- that must be the initial order, or at least a confirmation of sale. At that point in time, it seemed that de Sousa still intended to fulfill the request. Another letter, also mentioned Oda, but only in passing - speculating on whether or not he would contend to allow self-governance of Sakai, and if not, would it be useful to send a party to negotiate with him directly.

Interesting, but not what I was looking for.

And then I found it.

Correspondence from Shojumaru, offering to broker a deal for weapons, to be supplied to Motonari Mouri in exchange for silver provided by Kanamori Iekane.

The page blurred in front of my eyes.

Iekane.

Iekane. Even though the last name was different – he was no longer using Aki’s – it had to be the same man. Of course he was in this. Maybe he'd been so since that day five years ago when he locked me in a crate among one of Motonari’s weapon shipments.

"What is it, brat? You're staring at that letter as if it’s going to eat you.'' Mitsuhide's voice broke into my reverie /panic. Same difference at this point.

"It's confirmation that-"

A loud squeak interrupted me. The sound a staircase makes as it protests the weight of travel. This was followed by the clatter of footsteps, and voices. de Sousa, talking about some ceramics he wanted to show off.

In one smooth motion, Mitsuhide slid shut the door to the office and was across the room while I was registering the noise… and the implication. He swept the stack of correspondence back into the drawer, then lifted me up and plopped me on top of the desk. "This is not the time to protest my next action, as we are about to become extremely visible to the rest of tonight’s guests."

"Huh? Shouldn’t we just hid-”

That was all I got out before Mitsuhide kissed me.

While my brain was still processing the sudden liplock, Mitsuhide pulled me closer, until his leg was between mine (or as between as my narrow kimono would allow). I swallowed a protest, knowing that this was a performance, part of our agreement to show public affection. Not real.

How does one fake act a kiss? Should I close my eyes? Ok, yes, probably, Kaya would have her eyes closed. Commencing eye closure.

It wasn’t a terrible kiss, as sudden, barely warned kisses go. Not that I would know. But he could have made things unpleasant for me, especially given the character he had established as Kyubei. It could have been overly intrusive, or painful, or oppressive, or gross, or-

He broke away and slid his mouth toward my ear. "This would go much better, if you could at least pretend to participate. With enthusiasm, if at all possible.”

Director’s notes? Now?

Although he did have a point. I took a deep breath, prepared to channel my inner Meryl Streep. "You surprised me.  Give me a moment to catch up, all right?"

The clatter of footsteps and murmur of voices grew closer.

After a split second in which Mitsuhide was either praying for patience, or counting to ten (he just had a sort of 'give me strength’ look in his eyes), he placed his hand on my cheek, and slowly dipped in for another kiss.

This new kiss, he took his time. His lips gently glided across mine, his embrace keeping me easily balanced on the desk. The gentleness did what the surprise could not, and a previous unknown voice inside me went, ‘more!’ and before I knew it, it stopped feeling like an act of theatricality, and started feeling like an act of mutal desire.

His body was all lean muscle and kinetic strength – I wanted to feel that strength on my skin, to slip my hand under his clothing and savor the texture of his flesh, to savor the vibration of his heartbeat beneath my palm, a vibration that echoed in my ears. I pressed myself closer before any logic could overrule action, grinding my hips against his, opening my mouth to his tongue.

Someone moaned… was that him? 

Please don’t let that have been me.

Then annoyed voices from the corridor intruded and Mitsuhide finally ended the kiss, though he did not let me go. He turned to face de Sousa, Shojumaru, Yoshimoto, and a Japanese merchant whose name I had not caught. They were all staring at us from the now open doorway. I hid my face in his shoulder in not entirely feigned embarrassment.

Cinnamon and sandalwood.

"What the hell are you doing in my private office?" The words were in Portuguese but there was no mistaking the intent behind them.

Mitsuhide didn’t bother to wait for someone to translate, he simply proclaimed, "My toy was looking so lovely tonight, I simply had to be alone with her. But the rain chased us out of the garden."

Toy. It was as if the wall to the courtyard opened up and the cold rain had splashed all over me. Right. Acting.

I knew he did not truly consider me a toy. I also knew that the kiss had simply been part of the performance, one that had needed us to at least look like we could not keep our hands off each other. So that’s… what method acting is. I guess I do have an inner Meryl Streep after all. Acting. I had been acting too.

Without switching from that conversational tone, Mitsuhide patted the desk. "This furniture is perfectly stable. Can someone procure one for me?"

de Sousa waited for Shojumaru to translate that, but even with the benefit of the translation, he still looked irate. His response was something along the lines of if Kyubei wanted to turn his house into a brothel then he ought to have brought more women, or at least offered to share.

I wondered if Shojumaru was going to translate that back into Japanese, but whether or not he would have done so was destined to remain a mystery, for Yoshimoto stepped forward to play diplomat. "Senhor de Sousa, perhaps you could show us those ceramics from China now."

After one final look of envy, de Sousa shepherded the group toward the storehouses, but Shojumaru continued to eye us. He didn’t say anything, and that overly friendly smile stayed on his face, but there was a hardness in his eyes now.

As Mitsuhide helped me off the desk, Shojumaru's gaze went to its surface. Scanning for incriminating papers maybe? Thank the Gods that Mitsuhide had managed to get de Sousa’s correspondence back into the drawer before initiating that ‘seven minutes in heaven’ act.

"I take it it’s too much to hope that de Sousa will allow us to use his bedroom?" Without waiting for a response, Mitsuhide bowed to them. "In that case, we shall return home, as I am hungry for a different sort of meal. Kaya, you may let go of me.''

Trust him to point out that my hand was clinging to the front of his kimono.

Right.

Disengage grappling hook.

I let go, and followed him out the door, aware that this was probably one of those fast exits he had warned me about.

Hopefully… not through the moat.

My senses had already been through enough this night.

@bestbryn @lorei-writes @selenacosmic @lyds323 @akitsuneswife @tele86

[thisisyourprincipalspeaking]

Love your questions! I’ll place your questions to me in pink! 😉

why do you think he couldn't go down that kind of career path otherwise? (i have my own thoughts but i'm interested in yours)

- I think many of us have witnessed the multiple insecurities this man has unintentionally let everyone know he battles. Anyone belittling themselves in a “joking” way multiple times is very telling. Being confident isn’t arrogant, but talking down on yourself all the time shows insecurity. I believe he’s scared and I know he deals with anxiety issues so I can only hope he works on himself, seeks counseling, etc to reach his fullest potential one day. He’s very talented but his fans can’t want more for him than he wants for himself. As so many have stated, from our limited perspective, it’s like he said screw improving his craft and personal development and went straight for a perceived “easy” route. FAIL!

in your opinion has this been beneficial in that way thus far? or would he have had the same recent opportunities regardless of his relationship status?

- this is hard to say because as we all know or can assume …..being successful in Hollywood isn’t about sole talent unless you are top tier talent level wise, thus you don’t have to resort to silly pr stunts, but as time goes by even some of the most talented are resorting to pr related things just to stay relevant. I will say that when it comes to getting roles THAT is where I think it’s not as easy as many like to believe. I don’t know if Chris panicked, thought this was a good business move, had his agency persuade or threatened his career, studios didn’t see it for him outside of Marvel, etc. (all assumptions of course). I just know when award season draws near, many single stars who are in top related or relevant projects……magically gain significant others around award season and I don’t know Hollywood’s unwritten rules, but I think it’s sad that their personal lives become part of deciding if something, that should be solely based on talent, is obtainable for them or not. The fact Chris and her magically popped up around award party season doesn’t leave my mind either.

Now where would he be currently had he stayed single or kept his private life……ACTUALLY private. Idk. What I do know is popularity wise he’d be in a much better place and maybe that would have helped Jinx or ASP or whatever else he’s promoted the past few years. Now majority of the fandom quit or barely care and he’s got a slew of projects coming out that could be great or bomb and if they bomb, no telling what may happen regarding this shitfest, but by that time this fandom may no longer exist. 🤪

do you feel like there hasn't been enough time for this to show fruit just yet and we will potentially see more later?

- at this point, I see no benefit. He/his team dropped the ball big time. If this is real, there should not have been any trolling, 7482893 of irrelevant articles, orchestrated pap shots, mess, etc he simply could have posted her to his IG grid, turned comments off and went about his business. Ironically this would’ve given them more attention, appeared natural than the Central Park horror show they used to debut this mess. He had a great position and huge fanbase, well large enough to get him trending with every post. Too late now though unless they end this, disassociate from her but again they are “married”: she’ll be known as his first wife unless they have a plan to make this disappear 🙄 and regroup his career, but even then the trust is broken. They instead squandered that and whatever benefits he had or has just seems wasted. I still refuse to believe this isn’t a pr stunt because you can’t tell me a bunch of adult collectively thought THIS was the best option to debut his personal relationship if legit. Too much crap has happened even with two “weddings”. It either shows his team is incompetent and since he’s in charge that means he agreed to this mess or CAA has more power than we know. Either way Chris comes off as the complete opposite of what everyone has come to love/like him for.

- Will this ever end, not sure maybe not for a long while or not at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I will say anything can happen at this point so I’d just suggest those heavily invested in this just walk away until this ends or is confirmed to be legit in a way I refuse to waste time typing. But even if this never ends, I don’t see Chris returning to his once loved and respected status among fans nor the general public. Even if the age gap were the only issues, he shows he has issues. A mature man isn’t marrying a twenty something yr old, period. He’s lucky the general population isn’t aware of EVERYTHING His fandom is aware of …..but maybe this would have needed sooner if the backlash was that dire and huge.

I expected better from this man, but this is also a huge example as to why we shouldn’t place expectations on other humans let alone ones we don’t actually know nor should we put them on pedestals which is why Hollywood thrives unfortunately.

Hope this answers some stuff, just my random thoughts & opinions, fell free to ask anymore questions. 😎☺️

thank you for coming back and answering my questions, nonnie. i do agree with you on some points.

i do think celebrities can hide their true selves when needed. and we have seen some celebrities do this for long periods of time over the years. but i also will not give leniency to a celebrity, with lots of money, access and the ability to get help (therapy) if they want it. many many people have anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns and function every day. he has anxiety? okay. but that is not a crutch i will give him as a multimillionaire who chose his path and has money for therapy, treatment, physicians, etc. many others do not have that luxury and still go about their daily lives.

one reason i can see this being "real" is because of how messy it is. her friends are trash and troll. that's obvious. she's lazy and gets access to many rooms more talented, more hard working, or more accomplished actors don't because of this association and she's done nothing with it. if it's real, his team didn't get a say. they just got told to make it known to the public and make it look okay. if that's what happened. okay. there is no professional on earth who could work with this scenario and make it look okay.

but thank you, nonnie. i do enjoy seeing your thoughts! please come back any time!

[name-that-isnt]

Trying to figure out vaati's origin has led me down an interesting path,, like we know he's a minish but literally where was he before being an apprentice to ezlo?? I don't have a solid conclusion so I made my own little headcanon (continued below the cut)

Gonna start off by listing the similarities I've noticed that vaati shares with the sheikah. This is relevant to the topic I promise, just trust the process.

———

1. Iconography and Customs

I'm sure just about everyone has noticed the similarity between vaati's symbols and the sheikah crest. The base shape is similar, but vaati's symbols are is missing the teardrop and the three triangle lashes. Only his transfigured form includes the lashes and something around the bottom of his body that could resemble a teardrop.

For the sheikah, it is customary for them to tattoo their crest onto their skin. Though vaati doesn't have a full crest tattoo, the marking under his eye while in sorcerer form could be representative of the teardrop on the sheikah eye.

The teardrop of the crest is said to symbolize the sheikah's willingness to go to any length to achieve their goals. Vaati too shows this willingness as he attempts to gain hold of the light force for his own goal of being "transformed" and "perfect".

2. Physical Similarities

The sheikah are known for their red eyes that visually separate them from humans and hylians. Vaati, in all forms, has red eyes. He is notably the only minish with red eyes.

Throughout the series, the sheikah have been depicted with blonde, purple, or white hair. Vaati has light purple hair, so he fits pretty well into the sheikah's hair color trend.

3. Skill

The sheikah are known to excel in regards to mobility, jumping, and hand-to-hand combat. While we've never been shown vaati's skill level regarding jumping and proper hand-to-hand combat, he may have good mobility. In the beginning of mc he won the sword fighting tournament. Winning such a tournament, assuming he didn't cheat like he did in the manga, would require very good mobility for the variety of skilled opponents he would face.

4. The Shadow Folk

The use of shadowy magic is nothing new to the sheikah, and their secretiveness often gets them associated with the darkness. If vaati is related to the sheikah somehow, he may have been genetically predisposed to the affinity he had for the evil in human hearts. I'm aware that the sheikah are not evil, but terms like "evil", "darkness", and "shadow" are often associated with one another.

———

I'm not quite sure how the technicalities of vaati being part sheikah would work. I'm gonna be real with u, a sheikah and a minish doing u-know-what is a bit of a disturbing thought, even if they are considered two consenting adults. Not to mention that should be impossible since only good-hearted children can see the minish. It seems highly unlikely that a sheikah and a minish could ever breed, but the similarities that vaati has to the sheikah race is hard for me personally to ignore, plus his family is never seen or spoken of.

The minish tend to fit into three categories: forest, mountain, and town. U can usually tell where a minish is from simply by looking at them. Vaati visually doesn't seem to fit into any of the three categories because of his potential sheikah side. His obvious differences in comparison to other minish may have left him ostracized. This ostracization may explain his desire for power and fame, he wanted to be accepted and respected instead of feeling like a black sheep. He may have chosen to study under ezlo specifically for this reason. Ezlo also doesn't seem to belong to one division of the minish, but he is the opposite of vaati. He is revered for his craftsmanship and sage work, and is highly respected among all of his race. In a sense, vaati may have wanted to learn ezlo's ways so people could treat him like a fellow minish instead of like an outcast for his uniquely devious appearance. His personal grudges against others for treating him as the odd one out only amplified his want for recognition, and it definitely contributed to the wrath he invoked after he gained power.

It's not the most likely idea and no solid conclusions were truly made, but again these are just my headcanons. Like, there's no way the devs made vaati's symbols so similar to the sheikah crest just for funsies right? In both chronological and game release order, the sheikah were already established, so there must be a reason as to why their iconography looks so similar...

[kiss-my-freckle]

People often criticize Damon for abusing Andie but I see Stefan's abuse of Elena on the same level. A difference is that Andie was an adult when she got involved with Damon while Elena was 17 when she was with Stefan. Damon compelled Andie to not be afraid of his vampirism and insisted that she was safe with him, while Stefan manipulated Elena to not be afraid of him and groomed her as he'd stalked her for months and started dating her before she found out he was a vampire. He would use her personal issues to against her when she was uncomfortable about dating him, like in 1x11, which reminds me of how underage people from broken homes get targeted. He had her think that he would never hurt her, with her echoing that sentiment herself and lied to her about not having seriously lost control before in 1x18. If she knew of his ripper past, vampirism, age, etc. she probably wouldn't have gone on with him. I don't see how what Katherine did to him was worse than what he did to Elena since she was underage. I think Stefan grew to care more about Elena than Katherine did him, but even in Katherine's case she was willing to risk her life and deal with Klaus in 3x09, but that still doesn't excuse the way she treated him so Stefan shouldn't be excused either. Even though Stefan claims to care about following the rules, their relationship being illegal was of no issue to him. People say Stefan having a relationship with Elena despite her not being consenting age is not an issue because it's a fantasy based show but they selectively apply morals on to the characters they don't like. Morals are still morals at the end of the day. Damon was selfish and wrong that while he did also care about Andie he used her as his unofficial therapist and Rose replacement without putting in good effort to create a relationship of mutual trust, and claiming she would be safe with him even though he was at a significant low with his vampirism and mental issues after Rose's death. Likewise Stefan had his own issues and minimized or totally lied to Elena and he swept it under a rug because he wanted to use her as a distraction from it. Damon did not tell Andie to date him just as Stefan didn't tell Elena to date him, so I don't see how the situation is much different. I find it concerning how Stelena is super romanticized in comparison. People come out with pitchforks when Stefan is criticized in this manner, even though he abused many women in several different ways, which makes it clear to me that their priority is shipping and not actual abuse. It's gross how they harass actual people (many of whom are abuse victims themselves) for saying he's as bad as Damon when it comes to this behavior. What are your thoughts?

Damon stopped abusing Andie in the second season. I see the shift in him, even in that scene when he threatens to kill her. As violent as he is when he throws her to the floor, he's doing it for the sake of saving her life. He knows himself that well. When I get to that scene, I'll gif it side-by-side with one of his other scenes to show it. Stefan is worse than Damon, fans simply choose to ignore it or excuse it.

I say the same of their rape claims as I say of their abuse claims. if Damon is a rapist, they all are. That's what being a predator means. The writers have repeated this over and over in written character dialogues. Stefan is no different with women. Katherine and Caroline are no different with men. I could gif Damon and Caroline in parallel with each other because vampires are vampires.

[cvpdancehub]

My take on dance teams:

Having started my dance journey by auditioning for my high school’s all-female hip hop team, my view of this hobby has grown and developed to be competitive and cooperative. I have never danced until tryouts, so dancing never started for me as something I simply did by myself for fun. Right off the bat, after getting on the team, we were skillfully trained, physically conditioned,and mentally strengthened to be competent enough to learn and perform choreography for school performances and high school dance competitions. My dance captain’s mantra was “you are only as strong as your weakest link.” and this motivated everyone to push each other to our fullest potential. Friendly competition within my high school team was always present and healthy because of this. Bonding days were also planned to strengthen our teamwork, as well as make sure we’re still having fun doing what we love. My high school dance team experience encouraged me to audition for outside community dance teams, as well as the dance team I’m on currently in at my university. For me and most of my fellow dancers I know today, high school dance teams were what introduced them to competitive dance.

During my last year in high school, I joined an community dance team called iLL Habits. This outside team was more prestigious, competitive, and professional, as it consisted of the best dancers from different high school dance teams around the southern region of San Diego. The competition within the team was definitely not as friendly. iLL Habits had professional choreographers, unlike my high school, so meritocracy based favoritism was inevitable. This professional dance team felt very intimidating and pressuring, but despite all this, seeing the final result of the set made me feel so proud to be part of it at all. The production always surpassed my expectations, and being part of this team has taught me to trust the process, and to really work hard to deserve your spot.

After entering San Diego State University, I joined VSA Modern, a hip hop dance team in my college. Some of my old teammates in iLL Habits promoted this team to me as they became part of it after they graduated high school as well. I joined this team to be able to simply dance on the side while finishing university. I didn’t expect much from it, but the competitive drive some of the dancers brought here was contagious. Collegiate teams offered diversity as university students came from different parts of the country, even different parts of the world, and with them their different dance styles and background. Some dancers from my collegiate dance team were also part of bigger professional adult dance teams, so being exposed to that level of skill inspired me. Collegiate dance teams are also more lenient because it consists of adults who are already disciplined and mature for the most part. Everyone on the team has different goals in dance, but we all come together to do what we are passionate about. Being in dance teams emphasizes that dance is not simply a hobby, for some it can be a lifestyle.

[untothebreach]

I truly think that despite having many ideas for stories and films and comics and books, I'm never going to be the right person to write them.

I sort of feel like my job isn't to be a creator and make things, but to bring the ideas to people who can actually do a good and honest job in producing them well and authentically. The only things I feel I can tell myself are anything contrived or base and simple - I don't trust myself with anything complex or outside my own sphere, because I know my own laziness with research and tendency to rush into things will make it so that I won't be able to handle doing it right and I'll just fuck it up or make a fool of myself, and then get a call out video essay made about me on YouTube.

Take my YA fantasy story concept of The Mage Garden - I'm chronically ill. So arguably, a magic system based around experiences of chronic illness should be fine for me to explore, right? Incorrect. Because much of chronic illness can also overlap with disability, which I don't have experience with, or with illnesses I don't have. Inevitably it would be better for someone truly disabled by chronic illness or who has been living with it since childhood to write the story and have their point of view told than me, little miss baby 'oof owie my head huwts sometimes and my eyes are bluwwy and i have to take piwws :pleading eyes emoji:'. It's pathetic.

Or take something like my urban fantasy series concept The Favored. It would be better to be written by someone who grew up in the city and the culture along with it, not some little dingus who grew up in the suburbs but 'went to the city all the time, honest!', and preferably a POC like many of the main characters so they better understand the experience of POC living in a large city and the cultural touchstones that go along with it.

And even things where my experiences make it so I should be fine writing things, like The Girl on Fire or Red Sky or The Lyndworm or Calahan and the Storyteller, I just... don't think I'm the best person to do it. I'm lazy and low energy and tired all the time. I don't read anything so my writing will, understandably, be fucking Godawful and Bad and a disgrace to whatever story I'm trying to tell.

I don't have a drive like other people do - people who work so hard to improve and tell such wonderful stories even if they're clunky. I'm not like them. I'm somehow built different, and worse, and never going to get past the shackles of 'natural talent from a young age' that bound me to the creative level of a fucking ten year old while everyone else got to move on to making actual things like real adults do.

I wish I could realistically talk to someone about this without sounding like a whiny pathetic baby, but I really do think I lost all my creativity and drive and storytelling fervor at age 15 or 16 and never got it back. I stopped reading, stopped writing, stopped making stories for others. I've never once really been able to get it back the same way again. And especially after graduating college, it's like the last dregs of it simply... drained out between my fingers and away into the world, never to be seen again. It's like something creative in me died - the drive to make things, or maybe the drive to share things. Maybe the sense that what I had to say was even worth saying at all in the first place.

I don't know. I'm just tired.

[notyourparentstherapist]

So I know I've been processing some personal content lately. So let's switch it up and discuss the other side of this. My role as a therapist.

Cw mental health, therapy, higher levels of care, hospitalization, safety issues, psychology.

I find myself often looking at my therapy degrees and my licence wondering how in the world I got here. Honestly this is my dream job.

I'm not a traditional therapist. While I do have some respect for the psychoanalytic and psychodynamic practices they are not where I live. I use them sometimes. Like anything else I view schools of psychology like schools of thought which all have helpful tools and frameworks.

By definition I fall under "humanistic" psychology. My MA came from a program that was affiliated with Carl Rogers who's main thing was simply meet the client where they are at. Remove the agenda. Be with the person. See the human under all the symptoms. Which I LOVE.

My degree is in holistic mental health counseling specifically. Which means my approach is more integrative and my process is oriented towards helping people live in tune between domains of life and connecting mind/body/spirit. This can look different for everyone. Basically I want to help restore the connection between the body, brain, emotions, behaviors, and help folks process, explore, and gain skills to help empower them to live healthy lives. According to them. They set the goals.

I work mostly with complex trauma, dissociation, and with LGBTQIA+ folks. I use a multidimensional approach of wanting to be mindful of systems that could be impacting clients. I use techniques to help encourage a safe and consistent therapeutic relationship.

My therapy can seem unstructured. Some days it's talking and processing, others it's problem solving and skill building, sometimes it's expressive arts therapy or sharing laughter. Sometimes it's safety planning. Sometimes it's sharing memes. However I follow Judith Herman's three phase model. 1. Safety and stabilization. 2. Remembrance and mourning. 3. Reconnection. If you are a therapist and have not read her book Trauma and Recovery then get on it.

I have an extensive background in safety. I worked and did my clinical internships at a partial hospital for teens and adults. I worked there for three years as a program coordinator helping train new clinical interns and making sure the program ran ethically and sustainably. I loved this job so much. I just got so burnt out. My main lesson I took was I'd rather work with my client one on one before sending them to the hospital.

I know it's controversial. I have been told I have a too high tolerance for unsafe behaviors. I. Don't. Care. If me checking in by phone for 10 minutes for a week helps my clients stay safe and not hospitalized. I will do that. The system is broken and traumatizing.

Obviously I collaborate. If my clients vocalize they want a higher level of care then I'm not going to try and sway them. My job is to provide informed consent. I don't live their life. I can't tell them what's best. What I can do is provide support within my limits.

So if I can avoid calling 911 or getting an NP or LICSW to section someone. I will. I would much rather build a community based support plan to keep folks from being in the ER for days and in a locked unit. I know it has been helpful for some and I am beyond grateful that is the case.

However my job as a therapist is to listen. How can I ask my clients to trust me if I don't trust them? How can I ask them to share their pain if I don't show I can hold it with them without reacting in a negative way. Sometimes people need a safe place to express how they feel. And that can take the form of really really dark stuff. And that's okay. I only use hospitalizations as a last resort if there is no way to keep someone safe. But I'd rather fucking try.

I am not trying to be on my high horse about this. However I think therapists can do better. Get trained. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It's not fair that there is an unfair power dynamic here. Especially important to be mindful of this when working with folks with trauma.

Idk.

End rant for now.

[soul-dwelling]

Also Maka trusting Medusa comes of as just being dumb, I get that she knew that she could lie and that it showed how desperate Maka was ect but still at the end it came of as Maka being more gulibile than clinging to any hope, nomater how irrational. I think it was also the point were Soul started looking as simply the much smarter out of the two with Maka acting more like just eyecandy to help him out with madness.

I’m a Maka defender, so a lot of what I would say may seem rather empty. 

But I don’t think Maka trusting Medusa was dumb. I thought it was Maka taking the best option available based on limited information. 

And I don’t see Maka as eye candy--that diminishes her role as protagonist and as Soul’s meister. 

It doesn’t mean you have to like Maka’s choice. God knows there are things in fiction I hate (“Inca is a horrible character”) despite how it serves the story (“that’s the point: she’s a very unlikable character”) because there is just something that rubs me the wrong way (“oh yeah, then why doesn’t Inca ever get a comeuppance for being just the worst?”). 

Some things can just be upsetting for valid reasons, even if you can still acknowledge how it works for the story. For me, Maka trusting Medusa is like a horror movie: “Don’t go in that door--oh, now you’re dead!” It sucks, but I get it, and it doesn’t reduce my regard for Maka. Maybe that we get a “happy”-ish ending, where Crona says the day by series end, mitigates this arc, because if Crona hadn’t been saved all because Maka made this mistake in trusting Medusa, we would all be just crestfallen about what happened. 

Like I said, it wasn’t dumb, it was the best of a bad situation. Maka’s trust in Medusa was limited: it was, “Get Medusa what she wants--stopping Arachne--because that is our best chance to retrieve Crona.” Believing that Arachne had Crona was foolish--but why shouldn’t Maka assume that is a possibility? 

If anything, this is a fault in the writing and the paneling, too. If it was me? During the Baba Yaga arc, keep cutting to a room where we see Crona in it, looking awful. That way, when we end Baba Yaga with Medusa escaping, we reveal that room with Crona in it was never at Baba Yaga, it was in the prison Medusa made for Crona--so that we are in the position Maka is in, having made an assumption on flimsy evidence. Put us into Maka’s shoes so that we get how foolish she was for believing Medusa--and how foolish we were for believing this story. 

It would also mitigate some of the unlikable qualities of this arc, such as when Maka weirdly seems to cozy up to Medusa more than Soul, the two joking about how Soul sounds like a timid old boomer, or, as Maka put it in the English translation, a “sister-in-law” who “bitches and whines.” (Progressive gender stereotypes there, Maka. //snark =_=# ) I appreciate how Soul Eater flipped the dynamic, where Soul was sometimes the more level-headed responsible one compared to Maka--but even if this is for a joke, having Maka and Medusa acting chummy while Soul is seeing Medusa’s potential treachery incoming, is hard to stomach.

In response to your other points: I despise the trope that “the character is young, so they are gullible and foolish and make these silly mistakes, because they are young.” It’s the Young Justice problem: yeah, young people typically have fewer years of experience--but there are many young people with far more experience in any one thing that exceeds the experience of an adult, just as there is a young character whose experiences make them so not gullible. 

With Maka, it’s complicated. I’m not going to defend adultery, but as we see Maka get older, we do see her willingness to be around her dad increase. She is someone who, with experiences, recognizes when it is and isn’t appropriate to break rules. The manga, however, goes far more into showing how, as Black Star said in the Kishin Revival Arc, she is in her rebellious phase. What was checking out that manuscript of the Book of Eibon with her father’s card anything but foolish, irresponsible, and rebellious? Maybe it seems like Ohkubo didn’t have a handle on Maka--or, more likely, that he was writing Maka in a way that some of us didn’t see coming, as someone who makes silly mistakes, because, based on tropes and what we knew about her, we thought she was smart and wouldn’t make these mistakes. 

But we have seen repeatedly that Maka can be book smart, do well on tests--and still screw up. 

She didn’t figure out Blair was a cat.

She took her responsibility to fulfill Lord Death’s mission so seriously that it almost got her and her teammates killed by Sid and Stein. (It was all a test, but still.) 

She rushed into the church and almost got killed by Crona and got Soul infected with Black Blood. 

She will come through in a clutch to work with others such as Soul and Black Star, but it will take a lot of effort, and she can run out of patience. 

(Sidebar: yes, Maka and Black Star both needed to learn from their initial failure to synchronize; no, Stein putting the blame all on Maka is not appropriate, that was bullshit and bad teaching; yes, Black Star should have been more flexible--and the refusal of the story to have him do so is such bullshit.) 

And she trusted Medusa when her dedicated weapon partner was correctly warning her, “Don’t trust that witch!” 

What I’m trying to say is that, you definitely can find Maka frustrating at these moments. I do, too. But her overall character progression--a desire to get better, some actual victories she secured--has me rooting for her. I don’t dismiss her with some bullshit, “She’s young, she’s gullbile,” complaint that I think some fiction writers express about their characters: I’ll give Ohkubo credit, he (probably despite himself) made Maka a complex character, somehow who is incredibly smart--and sharing one brain cell with Soul. She is the Peter Parker of our story, so much potential, so much bad luck. 

And I push back on referring to Maka as eye candy to help Soul out with madness. 

Again, I have a lot of complaints about Ohkubo’s male gaze, and it’s not absent with Maka. 

But I can’t remember a scene of Soul seeing Maka as eye candy to get out of madness. Hell, she showed up the first time in that black blood dress inside the Little Ogre’s room--and the first thing Soul did was claim this is a fake Maka. It wasn’t Maka’s appearance that got him out of madness in Baba Yaga--it was a book to the end. And when Soul fell under the sway of madness due to those black blood bubbles, it was Soul himself who got himself out of the madness--along with another Maka Chop. 

It never struck me as Maka being that kind of an “eye candy” anchor to Soul, especially when that anchoring was far more due to the soulmate angle, that Maka was someone like his brother who would accept his music as it was but unlike Wes would not overshadow him (not because Maka holds back, but because Maka’s strengths are not the same as Soul’s strengths--they complement each other). Maka’s appearance isn’t what got Soul out of madness; again, despite himself, Ohkubo somehow wrote one of the best romantic soulmates stories--while actively avoiding having the two be out-loud in that kind of a relationship.

[rielzero]

Brain Bubble Moment

Sometimes I have these weird nostalgia brain moments were I remember 2010s and 2011s roleplay atmosphere online- seeing artists drawing a lot of art with their besties and doing all this original content based off roleplay.

Man, I’m finally at a place were I’m confident with my work compared to my 13 year old miserable self.. And the RP community I used to know is now all adults enslaved to work.

Except me, I’m at home 24/7 because my body can’t handle shit. Even going outside for fun occasionally is like, extremely exhausting. Hecc, I love going out with friends but its annoying how hard it is on my energy levels.

Being at home as a kid, not feeling tired all the time and stay up till late at night just doing RPs.. It was great man. But my tastes have changed and so has the atmosphere around OC RP. Most people prefer DnD now, but the type of RP I did is simply not compatible with ttrpgs. I would feel overwhelmed and out of place. I don’t like dice rolling for anything or the limit to playing one character in my rps.

I enjoy watching dnd content though. Its cool. Dingo Doodles, critical role, and other stuff thats kinda niche. (brain can’t think of names rn)

I’ve always been envious of seeing other lgbt peeps being publicly posting their RP stuff and talking about writing on and off with their besties / significant others- I wonder if I had been able to accept I’m gay much earlier in life if that would’ve landed me in a healthy relationship with an artsy guy with the same interests.. Because that’s the dream, man.  Social media really got me dreaming about winging a hot marvel-addicted boyfriend who draws cooler than me, and loves my little neurodivergent traits, and my hyper-fixations, and my ocs. My dumb fucking self.

haha.. I’m too insecure for a dating scene. I have way too much problems. I’d be so easily taken advantage off given my condition- I have trust issues.  If I never get a relationship, maybe that’ll be the best. Given my situation, a partner would have to take care of me, and I don’t like being a burden. It’s just reality. I’m not opposed to ever being in poly throuple stuff either- but still//

Learning more about myself, my disabilities, my flaws, I just don’t see it happen. And that’s okay. But I can fantasize about it. I’m not unhappy. It’s just human to desire or crave something that you’ve seen around your community.

who knows, maybe those dreamy relationships I look up to have some dark stuff to them- maybe the people I thought were living the dream are not. They’re just showing the good parts. But a guy can dream right? I won’t get lost in it. These are just thoughts I have sometimes.

They’re just thoughts. Something to ramble about.

I’m okay!

[looye29]

Shedding those excess pounds of fat can be a frustratingly uphill task. You may have seen tons of weight-loss diets and exercise plans that claim to get you a fitter body within days. If you've actually tried any of them, you'll soon figure out that such processes of losing weight completely depend on your sustained efforts. They require a lot of time and dedication on your part to show results. Of course, if you neither have the time to regularly sweat it out or simply can't work with rigid diet plans, the next obvious solution is a weight loss supplement. Now there are a crazy number of supplements out there, and the variety is just mind-boggling. What do you then do? Which one would you trust? Additionally, the biggest issue is the effect of a supplement on the body – will it have harmful side-effects? Researching weight loss supplements brought me to a product called ‘Biotox Gold.' Let's take a look at what it is all about and how effective it really is. What is Biotox Gold? A proprietary product, Biotox Gold, is a weight loss supplement formulated by Biotox Nutrition. It is a 100% natural product that promotes weight loss when taken regularly. Made from 20 different plant - based ingredients, it is an organic option. Biotox Gold is available as a liquid that needs to be taken in doses of 10 drops each, three times a day for effective results. It is marketed as a supplement for fat loss and detoxification of the body. The site's main page doesn't have much written content. There is a long video featuring 'Tonya Harris, ' which the site declares to be a pen name used for marketing. There is also the customary disclaimer to use Biotox Gold only after consulting with a physician if you are under any other treatment, medication, or suffer from any ailment. It is also not recommended for use by pregnant women. Pros Biotox Gold is a made up of natural ingredients. It’s an all-natural product, making it very safe for consumption. I liked the fact that it is totally made from plants, and they give you the full ingredient list readily (quite an exotic batch of items!). There’s no secrecy here. The supplement is a universal product. It can be used at any age and works on all genders. Although the site claims this to be true, I would play safe and go on to say that this is a product for adults and not recommended for children. Regular doses of the liquid increase your body's metabolism in a holistic way, and hence you feel healthier and fitter. This is important as you and I both know that better metabolism is crucial in the weight loss journey. In addition to being a weight loss supplement, Biotox Gold works to detoxify your body. In today's day and age, where pollution is at an all-time high, it's essential to regularly opt for a body detox. Our body contains a lot of EDCs (endocrine-disrupting chemicals) as a result of all the junk food we eat. This product targets EDCs and cleanses the body of harmful toxins, making you feel so much better. The ingredients in Biotox gold work towards balancing hormones in your body. Hormonal imbalances, especially in women, are one of the primary causes of weight gain. This liquid aims to neutralize and balance the hormonal levels in our body to what it should be. It primarily targets Motilin, the hormone responsible for weight loss in our body. It works towards reducing the body's motilin resistance, thus aiding the fat burning process. People experience better heart health, lower blood sugar levels, and improved digestion, on using the product over a few months. Although listed as a positive, I would say that these are all the benefits of the natural weight loss process. So, since Biotox gold works to reduce obesity, using it also results in overall health improvements. You no do need to follow strict diet plans or work out strenuously. You can continue eating your regular food. You just incorporate having this liquid three times a day into your daily routine. That’s an easy one to follow!

This saves you money – no more gym memberships or Nutritionists to pay! You need not consume this long-term. It does not create a habit, nor does it get your body too dependant on it. I believe that if it's not a habit, you can stop whenever you want! Since this is a product, there are no upsells here. Also, they give you a variety of options for purchase – from single bottle packs to six bottle packs. With increase in order quantity, the price of each drops by a nice margin! Cons One of the primary concerns is that the weight loss supplement is not an FDA approved product. This means that it does not have the government certification that it is a useful product. Biotox Gold does have a GMP certification, though. There are no details available about the manufacturer Biotox Nutrition. Having information on the company builds trust, and here it's all a little vague. It is a little far-fetched to say that it is just a 30-second "morning ritual." It would be best if you remembered to take it three times a day. Of course, it takes only a moment to drink it, but it needs to be done regularly. Final Verdict Biotox Gold appears to be an effective weight loss supplement. It is a partner of the ClickBank marketplace, so it will definitely meet quality standards for business and the product. I found customer service to be quite prompt and responsive. One of the best parts about this supplement is that it is self-sufficient. So, if you want to lose weight naturally and yet, you do not have the time or energy for diets and exercises, Biotox seems to be a great product to try. The website has a great offer on the six - bottle pack. It reduces the price by almost half and gives two additional free products, which I think is very thoughtful. Overall, the website looks legitimate, the product looks promising, and you are protected by a 60-day money back guarantee. So, you can definitely go for it. There is nothing to lose here other than the excess body weight!

[chrishoughton]

Is Cricket meant to have ADHD? My brother has predominantly-hyperactive/impulsive type and I have predominantly-inattentive type and we can both relate. Episodes like "Quiet Please" and "Trivia Night" seem to imply it as well.

I've tried to answer this question before but because I receive it so often, I'll take another stab at answering it.

I'm so happy so many kids relate to Cricket and Tilly. Many of those kids also relate to Cricket and Tilly on a deeper level, due to a particular diagnosis they may have received. However, I'm very hesitant to confirm any particular diagnosis for Cricket and Tilly for two main reasons: 1.) As much as we try to write Cricket and Tilly as if they're real people, they're not. They are cartoon characters instead of multifaceted emotionally-complicated human beings. I would consider it unethical to give a cartoon character a DSM diagnosis which might ultimately lead kids to seek out a similar diagnosis because they relate to similar behaviors of said diagnosed cartoon characters. I like to think of Cricket and Tilly as unique kids, rather than kids with a particular diagnosis. And I hope kids who have received some type of mental diagnosis, also see themselves as unique individuals, rather than someone who is in need of "fixing."

2.) My main hesitancy around these diagnostic labels is for no other reason than our society's main source of treating these types of diagnoses: drugs. I'm not denying the existence of these different learning abilities or different ways of thinking, I'm simply against the way we treat these "disorders." I think psychiatric drugs are best used in rare cases and generally for a short amount of time, with a plan for the individual to get off of the drug (research long-term use of psychiatric drugs and how psychotropic drug tolerance works- "Your Drug May Be Your Problem" is a great read). For some people, psychiatric drugs carry with them the potential for some extremely dangerous side effects. Further complicating things, these drug side effects are often mislabeled as additional mental health symptoms. Also, due to tolerance build-up, the desired effects of these drugs usually wear off after continuing the same drug treatment for years. This tolerance often leads to higher dosages or more psych drugs to achieve the original desired effect. To make the situation more complicated, psychiatric drugs also create an intense chemical dependency that is rarely talked about and very misunderstood in the medical community. After many years of use, these drugs eventually have very little effect other than staving off withdrawal effects from said drug. An adult choosing to take psychiatric drugs is well within their rights. But children? Who have developing brains? How confident are we that this is the best course of treatment?

I hope you can appreciate my sensitivity around this issue due to the fact that I've been dependent on the SSRI, Paxil (paroxetine) for 24 years now. I was put on it as a child at 10 years old for anxiety attacks and 24 years later, I'm now slowly weaning off of the drug. In some ways, I wish I was never given the drug (which was eventually labeled as unsafe for children and given a black box warning after years of being on the market- whoops!) but in other ways, I'm very thankful for the painful lessons I've learned.

This long awful process of withdrawal has changed my views on the outdated "disease-based" model of looking at mental health. The emerging "trauma-based" model makes a lot more sense to me, both in terms of diagnosing and treatment. This model encourages treatment/healing of the source of the pain, rather than treatment (or numbing) of the symptoms. This model asks "what happened to you?" rather than "what's wrong with you?"

At the risk of looking like a radical, I'll end it there. DISCLAIMER: If you are on any psychiatric drugs, do NOT discontinue use without talking to a trusted doctor (who understands psychiatric drug withdrawal/de-prescribing). And never cold turkey from any psych drug- it's too hard on your CNS and can cause an incredible amount of long-lasting emotional and physical pain. The decision of whether or not to pursue treatment through psychiatric drugs is a very personal decision that should be made by the individual, guided by informed consent from a doctor about the potential benefits and risks that come with any particular drug.

I share this only to speak about my personal experience on the subject. I don't mean to offend anyone nor tell anyone what they should do or believe. To anyone suffering mentally or emotionally, please know that in many ways, I understand and I wish you the best. 💚