#I do think Harvey is cute he has a lot of personality and he's a sweetheart

[bixels]

I feel like I've seen most of what interests me in FiMFiction for the time being, so I read through some good ol' reliable Stardew Valley fanfics last night, only to realize.

Haley x Female Farmer is basically Rarijack. Rarijack adjacent.

[phoenixkaptain]

I love Stardew Valley and I love the community and I love how we all bond over pixelated chickens like we’re seventy-year-old women bonding over grandchildren- - -

But I get so annoyed with the character hate, like!!! All the characters are great!! All the romance-able characters are great!! I keep getting recommended videos about the bad parts of characters and I just want to scream!!

Penny: lovely. Charming. Kids are a big part of dating her because she teaches kids, of course she’s going to react a bit badly if you hate children. She is trying to teach kids so that they don’t have to have the same life she and her mother do, why do you hate this woman who is just anxious?

Shane: lovely. Charming. Perfect. “He still drinks after we get married, which ruins the whole story” NO. No. Shane is an alcoholic, and a severe one. If he quit cold-turkey, he would fucking die. “Harvey pumped his stomach” HE WOULD DIE. And I don’t care that my husband is messy, he has his own room and I don’t have to go over there!!

Maru: lovely. Charming. She hates working. She loves working on machines. She thinks about machines to build for you to make life easier. She’s adorable. She has a complicated relationship with her brother and I want to help them fix it goddangit because I love fictional siblings.

Elliott: lovely. Charming. An artist. He only leaves his home for like four hours a day. I can really relate to the desire to shave off all of one’s own hair. I feel that in my bones. Also, is friends with Willy and I fucking love Willy so A++

Leah: “she’s a lesbian” She’s fucking bi stop erasing bi rep in Bi Rep the Video Game

Sam: he’s a musician and a skater. This is what the perfect man looks like.

Emily: just the most charming. She has a complicated relationship with her sister because she takes care of her. She works at a saloon, how can someone not love a literal saloon worker? She’s crazy, she’s wild, she’s a flower child, I’m in love with her

Harvey: glasses. Doctor man. Occasionally puts on headphones to not so subtly hint that he doesn’t want to talk to you. This is what the perfect man looks lik-

Abigail: I don’t see a lot of people complain about Abigal, but I’ve seen a few and it just feels like- you guys love Sebastian so much but don’t like Abigail? What type of double standard is this?

Alex: everyone always says not to date him if your playing a female farmer, but honestly, his dialogue only cuts out parts if you play male. Like, he still says he felt different about you from day one even if you’re playing as a girl. The character affected the most by your gender choice in regards to dating Alex is George, and if you’ve already befriended George, he’ll apologize for being mean about your sexuality when he never even said anything mean about your sexuality, which is kind of funny

I never see people complain about Haley or Sebastian, which is fair, because Haley has a cute character arc and Sebastian loves frogs (this is what the perfect man lo-) My only problem is that people praise these two but rag on everyone else when I feel like all the characters are balanced pretty evenly in terms of good-bad traits.

Which trait is which is dependent on the person playing the game anyway, so when someone like me plays, I can’t help but find the characters perfect because I’m very forgiving when it comes to fictional characters’ undesirable traits. I mean, my favourite trait of all is stupidity, pure and unbridled, I’m talking facepalm-inducing, groan-worthy, the type of character people complain about the most; the type of stupid that makes people stop enjoying things. How can I dislike these characters who are cute and a bit awkward and so ready to bed the first hot farmer they come across even when that farmer sifts through their trash and passes out three steps away from their own house and drinks mayonnaise and would eat hay given half the chance. Like come on. They’re all moron-sexual. I can relate to that.

In conclusion: your favourite bachelor and/or bachelorette is as wonderful as you think they are and screw the people who try to tell you otherwise. The characters are great because they appeal to different people. Enjoy the game and enjoy the dating and I swear to God if I see another person say that certain farm layouts are bad because they don’t make enough money- the game doesn’t have a time limit! You can make as much money as you want! You could sell one sap everyday and nothing else and you would still be able to make it to however much money you desire to have. There’s not really a fast way to make ten billion gold, that doesn’t mean that the farm layouts you don’t like are bad and yes I’m ranting just because I love the slopes of the mining farm its layout is chamrjng and picturesque and provides a unique challenge to decorating and placing buildings and it’s actually the BEST farm layout because I just decided so and-!

Stardew Valley is a great game, 10/10 would recommend, and the new update is already great because I found carrot seeds and I like carrots :)

[stardew-shitposterino]

Most to least likely Stardew Valley Bachelor to be lovey dovey in a relationship

Ok peeps, I’m in the mood for some random posting. Since some of you enjoy it, I’ll commit to it ! Why not 🤷🏼‍♀️so let’s goooo✈️

Oh and btw: a bit of NSFW again because I’m a degenerate lol. Soz to the minors 🫣

1. Elliott:

-Elliott is the obvious choice, isn’t he ?

-this man has no chill when it comes to showing you how much he loves you

-he isn’t huge on baby talk, but he’s huge on medieval Shakespearean reenactment to show his love to you

-you might not always understand where his play on words come from, but it sure as hell makes you blush like a mess

-whenever you and him have a sleepover, he leaves a note on your table that reminds you of how much he adores you! So cute 🥰

-flowers, romantic dates, evenings spent at the pub sitting on his lap while he caresses your hair, marvelling at it with a slightly drunken gaze and red cheeks 😫🫡😍😏

-…I just know that guy eats you out like no other…I said what I said 🥸

2. Sam

-ok hear me out! Before you come for my throat, I think he is more likely to be very love drunken than some of the other choices. It’s a close call for the second place, but I believe he deserves it

-overused but I don’t care: he has the golden retriever energy. Maybe it’s his ADHD, but regardless, he’s a pure boy

-he might be a little anxiously attached to you because he won’t leave your side during your honeymoon phase

-he wants to hold your hand or touch you in some way all the time. He just loves having you close 🥺

-expect him to kiss you senseless whenever he can. Preferably in private because he doesn’t want his mum to find out through bystanders, that would be embarrassing. Other than that, he wouldn’t care for the life of him. If he can pepper your neck with little kissies, he will

-speaking of kisses: he’s generally a huge fan of intense make out sessions. He prefers them over sex any time. Not that he doesn’t like the other stuff, but to him, it just hits different

-imagine that blushy, heated face when you pull away 😳 eyes hazy and hair even more disheveled than before, just adoringly gazing back into yours and smiling ever so slightly (😩😭🫨)

3. Alex

-“still no Harvey?! What’s wrong with you!?”

-I know I KNOW. I know that Harvey is a sweet boy in the game who tells you a lot of cute stuff, but idk. Something about Alex makes me believe he will be more likely the kind of partner to be sweet and a bit cringe yet adorable when it comes to the person he loves

-he might not be a poet, but he shows his adoration in other ways

-back 👏🏻 hugs 👏🏻

-generally hugging you? He will do it all the time. Any time. He will climb through your small living room window to hug you at least once a day if he has to

-for some reason, he likes kissing your arms. Don’t ask me to elaborate, he just does. Like kissing them up and down. Oh and your thighs 👀 it doesn’t even necessarily lead to anything explicit, he just loves them so much

-he will tell you how you’re the love of his life and how he cannot wait to see you two grow old together. He will lay in bed with you, maybe just watching tv and randomly blurt out something like this: “wow, who would have thought that we’d end up like this, meeting in this tired town. Having you by my side, I might be the luckiest guy to ever exist.”

-Alex frequents the beach to talk to his deceased mother. It’s kinda sweet in a way because he will talk to her about the things happening in his life. Pre-dating as well as in the midst of your relationship, he tells her so much about you, wishing she was still alive to have met you as you are the best thing that has ever happened to him 😭

-Alex is a hunky boy, but he loves bathing with you :3 something about it just makes him feel extremely euphoric 🥰 but he will cup your boobs the whole time lmfao (no matter what kind you have). That might also lead to him kissing your neck the whole time till both of you are in the mood 😶‍🌫️👀

4. Harvey

-Harvey at forth ?! HARVEY?! COME OOOON

-yes, I know. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t cute and affectionate with you ! This ranking is pretty close as all of the bachelors have their qualities that make them good partners 🥺 it’s just based on my own headcanons or assumptions about what they might be like

-ok so Harvey is a little anxious mess but LOVES to be a real gentleman when he’s in love

-I’m talking putting on his finest Jazz and dancing with you in your living room, slow dancing while just enjoying each other’s closeness 👀😍

-Harvey shows his affection mostly through everyday things. Like making you coffee in the morning or cleaning up for you. Not to mention peppering you when you’re sick as well as doing small gestures that show you that he cares and wants to make the effort for you

-Harvey LOVES to put your foreheads together while holding you close. Since he’s way taller than you, he has to crouch a little in order to make it work (it’s so cute omfg 😭😤🥰😍💀🫣🫨😫)

-forehead kisses too 😭👏🏻😫 he’s all about soft, sweet affection

-there are many headcanons about spicy Harvey and I get where this is coming from, but I do believe that his sweet, pure side is predominant. Like yes he will want to sleep with you, you’re a couple and he’s not asexual, so why wouldn’t he want to do that 🤷🏼‍♀️

-speaking of this, he loves to lay in bed with you in your post-coital state. Like of course he enjoys the deed, but what he enjoys even more is the after math that consists of laying together, skin to skin, just talking or laying there in silence and enjoying each other. It gives him the feeling of being one with you, of growing even closer than before 🥺

5. Sebastian

-Sebby can be a really cute guy once he lets his guard down, but I don’t think he is the most obvious in love even when he is very infatuated with you

-he just isn’t that kind of guy, you know?

-Sebastian loves to cuddle with you in bed, especially while playing video games. His room is his safe space and sharing that space with you while doing something he enjoys, it’s just perfect to him

-he will show you how much he likes you by taking you on small adventures despite being a homebody. He didn’t fix up that motorcycle for nothing. Just you and him outside, discovering new places. It’s something he doesn’t offer to just anyone

-in public, he’s very reserved and doesn’t feel comfortable showing his affection, but at home? He latches on you and won’t let go. Of course he needs his space every once in a while, but it’s not rare for him to try and crawl under your shirt with you just to feel your warmth (he’s very cold most of the time)

-he loves touching your tummy. Ok ok I know this one is controversial but he just loves it. When you’re a little soft and he can grab onto something soft and warm? Oh boy, he will….he will 👁️ he also loves kissing your abdomen. Again, don’t ask me, I have my reasons

-when it comes to intimacy, he surprisingly prefers giving over taking. I have a feeling he prefers non-penetrative sex more ? At least speaking of “traditional” straight sex. Again, don’t ask, I cannot explain. So I imagine when he’s in a relationship with an AFAB farmer, he will want to either eat them out or finger them senseless because it brings him pleasure. It’s very specific I know but it feels right🤷🏼‍♀️

6. Shane

-you all know by now that I have a mild obsession with this guy, but yeah…I gotta admit he isn’t cutting it in this ranking

-it’s not that he isn’t capable of giving a lot of love, but he has his barriers that keep him from showing his love freely

-he will get there eventually, but before that, he’s very…well…tense ? He has a hard time initiating romantic gestures or telling you nice things

-again it’s not because he doesn’t want to, it’s that he is in his own head too much that he cannot garner the courage to do so. You’re dating but he still suspects it’s all a tasteless joke on him

-in those moments when Shane beats his inner critics, he can be such a sweetheart omfg

-I’m speaking kissing you behind your ear, caressing your waist and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He isn’t very eloquent most of the time, but when the moment is right, he just knows what to say to you to make you feel loved

-Shane is the type of person to show his affection through mild bullying and joking around. He might be calling you a dwarf or giant (depending on your height difference) make fun of little things you do that he notices, but it’s never in bad taste. He always makes sure you know it’s just silly banter that usually ends in you two fighting playfully and then tumbling on top of each other, laughing and kissing 🥺🥰

-this man, this man loves when you sleep on his chest. On a lazy Sunday watching tv or just when he wakes up in the morning, noticing your head’s weight on him. It makes him feel useful, like he can protect you (let’s ignore that the farmer slays monsters as a side hustle, k). He will kiss your head ever so softly and whisper how much he loves you while doing it 😌

-if you want him to be the kind to hold your hand in public or kiss you, you’ve set your money on the wrong horse (rehab was supposed to be a fresh start), because he is not that kind of man, sorry 🤷🏼‍♀️ he will start to do it once he gets comfortable enough with you, but it’s not that much. PDA just isn’t in it with this guy 😤

-his spicy side? He has plenty spice, but when he’s in the mood for some romance, he likes it slow and sensual. It’s a bit out of character for him, but sometimes he just wants to enjoy your presence and the slow build up of excitement and arousal. Expect him to enjoy guided self-pleasure. Picture it like this: he sits behind you, taking your hand and guiding it through the process of what you’d do to yourself 🫣 while, again, whispering hot stuff in your ear (yeah my version of him is into whispering lmfao). That’s the good stuff 😫

[babiebom]

How Many kids I think the Bachelor/ettes would (want to) have

A/N: because I like thinking about things~ also because I started thinking about it because I want a lot of kids and I wondered who I would actually work well with. Late Merry Christmas btw!!! And happy holidays!!

Tw:sex, maybe cursing idk I always put cursing, childbirth/children, mentions of issues with childbirth, mentions of postpartum depression, mentions of adoptions and other stuff surrounding it.

Wc: at least 5 bullet points for each

Sdv Masterlist

Sebastian

I think he would want either one kid only or as many as his partner wants

Because I can see him being a good dad to his kids

But like I also think that people like him only have one kid because they didn’t get along with their own siblings

So the trauma is like I don’t want to have to choose between my kids when they don’t get along and I don’t want any problems so having one is good

But I also thinks he would want to see how close siblings could be to live somewhat through them

So it’s literally a toss up

On the topic of adoption though he’d probably adopt an older kid if you’re okay with it

Like a teen that doesn’t have a family and is about to age out

I think he’s that type of person and you could adopt a baby or a younger kid later on.

I also think Robin would be present but not like constantly there. Like it’s grandmas for Christmas and other holidays and sometimes she visits but that’s it.

I do think that he would probably end up with a lot of kids bc he can’t keep it in his pants now that he has a significant other.

Sam

He’s going to have at least 3

I see him having 2 boys and a girl if I’m being honest and it would be really cute

All of them are learning to skateboard and something about music

I think he would be a very chaotic dad

Like you have a heart attack every couple of minutes being married to him

Like “yeah! Junior lost a tooth” “how’d he lose a tooth?” “He absolutely ate shit at the skatepark”

I think he would be happy to adopt but probably wouldn’t because of Jodi

I do headcanon Jodi as bit of judgemental

Like she won’t say anything outright but she will be passive aggressive like “I love allllll of my grandkids! Even (adopted child’s name)”

So if you guys do end up adopting for one reason or another you’ll only see Jodi for big holidays unless Sam can get her to change

Vincent is a sweet uncle though and Kent is a decent grandfather. Refuses to tell stories of the war to them though. Jodi is an overbearing but GREAT grandmother when she’s not being petty

Shane

Well he already has Jas so he either will have one more so she has a sibling/cousin

or he will have like 4 more to make the total 5

I do think he would like a big family

But all of the kids are a couple years apart at least because he does want to make sure they all are happy

It takes a while for you two to have kids or adopt because he does still have depression and thinks he would be a shitty father

But he’d be the best out of the bachelors I think maybe number two

Because I feel like out of all of them his love would be greater simply because he does have that self hate and he wants to make sure he’s doing as well as he can

Jas is VERY happy to be a big sister

Harvey

Harvey is a 2 kid guy

Like he would be a 1 kid guy but he’s afraid that the child would be lonely

I also think he would be an only child so he doesn’t want his kid to have the same childhood as him

But the kids would definitely have an age gap

Like at least 8 years because he wants to make sure you(if you’re a person who can give birth) are okay after giving birth.

I also think that if he adopts he would go for siblings specifically

Like two kids that don’t want to be separated by the system or two kids who are biologically related he would go for them

Simply because he wants two kids anyways and keeping people together is what would make him happy

Alex

Either 1 or 4 there’s no in between

I feel like you would have either all boys or all girls with him

Like his genes are very predictable not gonna lie

No matter what gender I think he would make all of them play gridball

Would be hella sad if none of the kids liked the sport bc COME ON

I do think that in his heart he would like to adopt

Especially if it’s to save a kid that’s in a bad family situation

Because in a way his grandparents adopted him after his father left and his mother died

Like those are his parents for lack of actual mom and dad

Very sweet dad but does have sexist tendencies

Like if you have daughters he would be much more strict with them but also would spoil them rotten

And while he’s not as strict with the boys he’s also not as sweet on them.

You have to get him to open up and realize that raising the kids in a specific way can breed resentment towards him. He gets smarter the more kids you have.

Elliott

I think Elliott would want one or two

I don’t know why but I see him as a guy that doesn’t have a lot of kids

Mostly because I feel like he would still like to have time with his partner and having a lot of kids would take away from that unless you can get a sitter or something

But I also feel like he wouldn’t want daycare or a babysitter or nanny

He wants to raise the kids together especially because you both work from home

Also having more than I think 3 for him would make it so he has no time to work on writing

And having only a couple would mean he can evenly give enough attention to the kids.

While for some people having a lot of kids is not a problem with attention and love I think Elliot knows that he’s the type of person that cannot be spread too thin.

Which isn’t a bad thing.

If you’re same sex he is not opposed to adoption

Would like to adopt twins though

Would prefer boy girl twins but obviously won’t throw a fit if it doesn’t work out that way

You’re adopting kids not a dog.

Penny

Easily at least 6

I don’t think she would have the most easy pregnancies

But she will make it look as if she’s the perfect housewife and that bearing children is a breeze for her

She loves kids and wants a big happy family especially because of her upbringing

So if you marry her expect her to want to have kids that are all at least a year apart in age

Doesn’t mind getting pregnant again as soon as you’re cleared for sex

I do think she would prefer to bear children instead of adopt but she’s not opposed to it

I could also see her becoming a foster mother at some point and taking in a bunch of children because she has an empty nest

If you’re the same sex she would probably want ivf

Like obviously this isn’t meant to be offensive and some people have different takes

But she also won’t like be upset that you have to adopt and she would make sure to adopt a BUNCH of children

Is a good mother and tries hard to spread her attention evenly.

You having a farm is great for this type of situation not gonna lie

Leah

To be VERY honest I see Leah as the kind of woman to be a single mom

Not because she gets divorced or her partner dies

It’s literally by choice only her and her kid in their cabin painting.

BUT OBVIOUSLY in this scenario she’s married to you

She would still only have 1 or 2 kids

I don’t think she would really enjoy being pregnant

Like she would like doing the pregnancy art things

But the state of being that she’s in is HORRIBLE she HATES IT

But she loves her kid so much that she’s like okay I can do it one more time.

Maru

Maru is either a one person kid or a 5 person kid tbh

And I do think that science people be lowkey freaky

So I do think she would have a lot of kids

Like somehow she’s always pregnant and everyone is like ?????? Another kid?????

And shes like YEAH I KNOW ISNT THE HUMAN BODY AMAZING????

Y’all’s kids are super smart ngl

Like you’re like???????wtf

Like even if you end up adopting they’re super smart and you’re like ????????? WTF HOW

Though they are still very interested in farming.

Somehow combines the two and creates a super farm

Like you make so much more money after having kids it’s insane.

Haley

Two or three kid woman

No matter how strong your genes are your kids will always have either blonde hair or blue eyes if not both.

Out of all the people having kids your kids with her would have the most normal names

She was a mean girl in high school she’s not setting up her kids for failure from the beginning

Unlike the others who would be on board with homeschooling if that’s what you wanted Haley wants the kids in public or private school.

Shes not much of a teacher and you’re always working on the farm so she wants them to have a good chance of being smart.

I think that y’all would have tons of baby books for the kids because she takes at least 10 pictures a day

Like there is no running out of embarrassing baby pictures your kids better behave lmao

Actually a good mom and ends up being one of those “I’m a cool mom right” women

But she’s actually kinda cool when she’s not making dated references.

Emily

One kid that is just as weird as she is

It doesn’t matter if the kid is adopted or not they behave just like her

But also I think she would go for adopting or fostering the more troubled children because they need love too

And I think she’s the perfect person to understand people on a different level than others.

A very sweet mother that is different than the other bachelor/ettes

Your kid turns out very happy, kind, and connected to the world

They might be a little weird like her

But are well liked by the people who find themselves misunderstood.

She would also be the type of person to run a foster home.

Abigail

I think Abby would like 2 kids.

I think she was very lonely as a kid

Especially with her father only focusing on his work and her mother hanging out with her but not really understanding her likes and hobbies

If she had a sibling there could be a chance that they won’t get along but she feels in her heart that they would’ve been close

So she would have two kids that are like maybe 2 years apart or 5 years apart

I don’t think she would enjoy being pregnant but she enjoys it more than she thought she would

Is not willing to go through giving birth again

So if you’re a person who could give birth if you want more than 2 kids then you’re giving birth

If you’re a person that can get others pregnant then you better plan for a surrogate or adoption because like I said she’s not going through that labor shit again

She is open to having more than 2 kids but like there’s other things that you have to do if you want them

Is a decent mom is kinda awkward with mothering but tries her best

[farmerstarter]

"Songs the Bachelors and Bachelorettes Listen To" Headcanons (Part 1: Bachelors)

This is inspired by @stardew-shitposterino ! I saw their post, where you can read here, and I wanted my own take on it. This was super fun to write. I'll have part 2 with the bachelorettes posted tomorrow. Also, the wildest shit just happened, I got into a biking accident lol! Anyways. Thanks for stopping by! All likes and reblogs are appreciated 🌷🤍

ʚ🏈ɞ ˚ · . Alex :

🏈 I'd like to imagine Alex would listen to the most bubbly songs while exercising. He plays Cupid by FIFTY FIFTY while lifting weights.

🏈 Half his music playlist is filled with music that Haley listens to because he can't be bothered to curate his own.

🏈 Hypes himself up before practicing gridball by listening to "Eye of The Tiger" by Survivor and ends his practice by listening to "The Final Countdown" by Europe.

🏈 Doesn't shuffle his songs so he knows he's supposed to do one exercise when a certain song plays. Like, "Oh it's 'OMG' by NewJeans, I should be doing push ups rn"

🏈 Knows old songs by Nat King Cole, The Ronettes, and Percy Sledge to name a few because his grandparents like to listen to them during the weekends.

ʚ📜ɞ ˚ · . Elliott :

📜 Knows Sea Shanties because of Willy. Elliott reads on the bench by Willy's Shop while Willy was fishing and the fisherman just started singing. It would be cute to imagine that it happened because Elliott was tapping his foot in a slow rhythm and Willy started singing along with it.

📜 Elliott's knowledge on sea shanties gets even more deeper the more he hangs out with Willy. Willy invites Elliott to join him on his boat to do some deep fishing and Elliott knows like ten sea shanties by the time they get back to shore.

📜 He knows some classical pieces and plays them on his piano when he doesn't want to write for the day. Sometimes he'd compose his own songs on the spot.

📜 Dude goes main character mode and listens to songs by Cigarettes After Sex, like "Heavenly" and "John Wayne", sitting on the sand while watching the sun rise.

📜 He's a hopeless romantic, he listens to a lot of love songs. Ranging from old to new love songs, Elliott enjoys listening to the lyrics to somehow get inspired by them. It's funny to think that some of Elliott's compliments are low-key lyrics. Like, "I wish you bluebirds in the spring and to give your heart a song to sing" ('I Wish You Love' by Lisa Ono) and "Mine to have when the now and the here disappear" ('Again' by Doris Day). And it's completely unintentional. He doesn't even realize he's doing that. He just listens to romance songs too much.

ʚ🛩️ɞ ˚ · . Harvey :

🛩️ Listens to The Carpenters. "Yesterday Once More", "Top of the World", "I Won't Last A Day Without You" all that stuff. He plays it in the clinic but only when Maru isn't there because he doesn't want to bother her with his song choices. Sometimes, he'd hum out the tune while examining patients. He just enjoys how soothing they sound.

🛩️ Speaking of soothing, he likes listening to slow songs to fall asleep to. Has a whole playlist for it too that's exactly 8 hours long. He goes straight to sleep when the first song finishes and wakes up just when the last song ends.

🛩️ He has a Walkman Cassette Player. He uses it when he does his aerobics classes. Listens to just about any song on it, really. Anything that makes it seem like time is going faster is great. OH. Wait. Maybe, the ladies end up having Harvey's cassette play on a stationary cassette player that Caroline has after Harvey lets them listen to it. They all found Harvey's song choices delightful.

🛩️ He offers music therapy. They're informal sessions at most but Harvey spends a lot of time making personalized playlists. Like full on carefully and heavily curated to match specific needs and moods for his patients. It skyrockets his music knowledge to the roof.

ʚ🎸ɞ ˚ · . Sam :

🎸 He has the most random and eclectic music taste. Ranges from Rock Music and Skate Punk to Vocaloid and Video Game music. He'd be listening to "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses for one moment then listen to the "Donky Kong Country Theme" the next.

🎸 He tries to copy the guitar riffs in some songs, not stopping until he can play it in one go. By the time he's done that countless of times, both Jodi and Vincent know what song he's playing based on the first few seconds of it.

🎸 Is the one to initiate a sing along in the Stardrop Saloon on Fridays. And he's always down to do karaoke. He's even suggested some more music-centered activities to do in town events. And he managed to convince Mayor Lewis to have him be DJ during the Summer Luau but only when he promised not to add anything disgusting into the potluck.

🎸 Teaches Vincent to play the drums when the kid doesn't have any classes. It all started with Sam letting his brother hit the crash cymbal for the end of a song he was playing. Then it all went up from there. Sam starts with the basics then lets Vincent play whatever. It's a noisy few weeks in the household but Jodi appreciates her boys spending more time together.

🎸 He has playlists for all situations.

ʚ👾ɞ ˚ · . Sebastian :

👾 This dude listens to Bonobo and Aphex Twin when programming. Better yet, Sam made him a playlist specifically for when he's programming and Sebastian doesn't skip any of the songs. That's a lie. He skips the songs that Sam put in there to mess with him like "CBAT" by Hudson Mohawke and Sam's poorly sung cover of "Fall For You" by Secondhand Serenade.

👾 You know how some of us would stay up until 3 am to complete a project before a deadline and listen to energetic songs while doing them so we won't fall asleep? Sebastian does that. Songs like "Caramelldansen" by the Caramella Girls, "Bumblebee" by Bambee, and "Superstar" by Toy-Box to name a few. Just the idea of Sebastian hunched over his computer with those songs playing while Sam is fully jamming in the background is great.

👾 Listens to the dirtiest songs with the straightest face ever.

👾 I'm all for villagers interacting with each other so consider Sebastian and Elliott being unlikely acquaintances after Sebastian showed Elliott the wonders of the synthesizer.

👾 When his mind wanders, he ends up humming out the tune that Abigail plays with her flute.

ʚ🐣ɞ ˚ · . Shane :

🐣 Sings to his chickens. He does, you know he does. Even sings in accents when he's bored enough. Jas found out he does that after going in Shane's coop, thinking a stranger was trying to steal her uncle's chickens. But no, it's just Shane singing "9 to 5" by Dolly Parton with a British accent.

🐣 Always has his headphones on during work at the Joja Market so no one would bother him. There wouldn't even be a song playing, he just wears them. One time Sam tried to get his attention but Shane outright ignores him even when Sam pointed out his headphones aren't even connected to anything.

🐣 I like to think that Shane is a fan of Indie Folk and he listens to songs by Bon Iver when walking to work. "Beach Baby" is his favorite song.

🐣 Since Shane's always the last one to leave the Saloon, Gus would let him pick what songs to play in the jukebox until the saloon closes. Even after Shane stopped drinking alcohol, he and Gus would spend time together at the late hours of the night talking, listening to whatever song Shane played.

[ieatsmallorphansnamedtom]

Marriage candidates reacting to being called cute by their crush/the farmer/what have you?

Bachelor/ettes When They're Called Cute

Thanks for the request! My brain's weird right now so these are pretty short. I tried to make them as long as I could.

Bachelors:

Sam

He stops wherever he is and just sort of... Stares. He's starring ahead because his brain needs time to process what's going on. He's all 'what? what now?' After a second, he comes back to reality and apologises for leaving you hanging like that, rubbing his neck or something in the process.

"Aw, shucks, Y/N. Thanks."

Elliott

He's taken by surprise a little, but we both know Elliott still has that higher confidence. He's got his insecurities, sure, but socially he's a champ at taking compliments. Depending on how big the crush is, he might get a little shy, but not by much. He's got it under control. Leans forward and gives your hand a kiss (if you're okay with that).

"Thank you, Y/N."

Sebastian

HA he's embarrassed. The only person to tell him that is his mother, so things feel pretty awkward for him. Like Sam, he'll advert his eyes and try to figure out a response. In the end, it's awkward, but gets the job done (kind of). His face is so, so red, too. But please don't comment on that or else it will get worse.

"Uh, yeah, thanks, I guess."

Harvey

Harvey's either even redder than a tomato or chill. It depends on if he's in Doctor Mode or not. If he is (and this is only really when giving you a checkup), he's all 'uhhh not rn bro.' But if he's not, well, he goes a colour only visible to shrimp. Okay, I'm half-joking there, but he's extremely flustered and gets all nervous and plays with his hands.

"Um, thank you, Y/N."

Shane

If he's got a drink, he'll choke on it. While Sebastian's only gotten this compliment from his parents, he's only got it from his childhood. Which, since he's old, is a long, long time ago. He's confused if anything. Partly because 'what? Why?' in the self-deprecating way but also 'what? Why?' in the why the flippity-fuck are you telling him this and what purpose does it serve?

"Huh? What?" (he's half-laughing)

Alex

Alex man, that confidence I keep talking about. Okay, so, if you're not aware, I HC Alex's confidence to be a total sham. I mean, you've seen his heart events, right (/lh)? Anyways, he goes beetroot-red. Tries to flirt back, sure, but it doesn't work as well as he wants it to. But his crush just called him cute, so give him some slack.

"Hey, uh, thanks. You too."

Bachelorettes:

Penny

Penny's the most affected out of all of them. Normally, she'd be a little flushed but is able to handle the situation. But since, of course, her crush had to say it, she's worse for wear in the way that she is an absolute wreck. If she has her book with her, she hides behind it and goes all 'wow, thank you so much you didn't have to say that shucks um wowee hehe' (or something like that).

"Oh, um, thank you."

Leah

If you know my HCs, you know I think Leah's chill. She laughs it off with a bit of blush on her cheeks, but all-in-all everything's fine. Might flirt back, might not - all depends on what you're comfortable with. But she's totally going to get you back at it, whether it be making you a little gift ('cute, just like you!'), or sending you some 'totally platonic' red roses (P.S. it's the yellow roses that symbolise friendship).

"Hey, Y/N, feeling a little flirty today, huh?"

Abigail

Abigail's taken aback, but she's not letting that stop her. She's going to flirt back instantly and with as cool and quick of a comeback as she can. She also compliments you a lot more afterwards on whatever you're doing or wearing or anything you're comfortable with.

"Not as cute as you." *continues playing her game*

Maru

Maru never really gets those kinds of compliments. She's not starved for affection - not at all! She just never gets called 'cute' per se. So, she gets really flustered when you call her that. To be honest, I don't know if she'd be comfortable with it straight up. She'd prefer to be the one to take the initiative and say it first, so you know she's good to go.

"Wow, um, thanks."

Emily

Emily loves compliments. Whenever she gets one, she gets all excited and says thank you. It's just nice to know people care, y'know? It's also why she hates passive-aggressiveness so much. Anyways, she gets a little flushed and tucks her hair behind her ear. It's always nice to get a compliment, but even better from you!

"Aw, you're so sweet, Y/N."

Haley

Haley's surprised. Despite thinking so highly of herself (and looking absolutely stunning in my opinion), she doesn't get many compliments outside of Alex and her sister. So, when she gets one from her crush of all people, she's pretty taken aback. Her first reaction is to go 'yeah well, duh,' but she's learned not to do that. So, instead she gives you a warm smile (literally, those cheeks are red hot) and says thank you.

"Thanks, Y/N. You're pretty, too."

-~-~-

AHHHHHHFDSFBHJHHHH ANOTHER ONE DOOONNEEEEEEEE!!!!

[vulture-writes-stuff]

Hello, Can I request Shane, Harvey and Elliott (separately) with a Cocky M! Reader who likes to tease them.

Shane Harvey and Elliott my beloveds!!! Good taste anon

I was literally just replying the game again recently and I married Elliott, he's so fkin sweet it kills me. Maybe I'm just a big sap tbh

Various X Cocky Male Reader Headcanons

Partner who likes to tease them

Shane

➵ He hates it. Okay, no he doesn't, but he does at first.

➵ Shane is the only person in Pelican town who doesn't care about the new farmer, and of course he's the only one the new farmer wants to talk to.

➵ "Workin' hard or hardly workin'?" You'd say without fail every time you were in the saloon together, before you bought him a drink.

➵ Shane tells you to stop, and eventually you do. And then he realizes that he didn't want you to stop, so he tries to figure out how to say that he didn't mind your teasing.

➵ You give him a basket of hot peppers as a gift. He drops one of them. You say "This is why we can't have nice things, Shane!" with that grin on your face. He can't help but grin back.

➵ Then he notices the bouquet stashed inside. Your teasing is even more endearing when you're in an actual relationship, even if it is still slightly annoying. It's one of your charms.

➵ You drink together one night, new years eve. It doesn't hurt to treat yourself every once in a while, though you've clearly never handled alcohol well. Shane has to carry you home, and the whole time you're babbling about where you two should go for your honeymoon.

➵ You're not even engaged, but he's too drunk to argue. Shane stays the night in your place, and your cat sleeps on top of him. He wakes up first with a throbbing headache, and decides that laying on the cold floor is better than on a bed or sofa.

➵ He's amazed that you get up to do farm work, and even stop to make him a coffee. You may be hungover as hell, but you're dedicated.

➵ "You look like hell," He quips, and you laugh. "Thanks, it's natural." Shane kind of regrets being so cold to you... At least you're patient, even if you are a bit of a bastard.

Elliott

➵ An artist with no muse is hardly an artist. That's what he thinks, anyways, as he goes over his writing notes a thousand times. He meets you on the bridge to the beach.

➵ He mispronounces his own name. He'd been reading a few seconds prior, so he repeats the last words on his mind, while trying to say his name. He calls himself Ellie. You laugh. "Nice to meet you, Ellie. That's my new permanent nickname for you."

➵ Elliott is only monetarily annoyed. Then he realizes he's completely enamored by your little mischievous smile, staring at where you were a few seconds ago even after you leave.

➵ "You're cute when you're focused." You say one day, when he'd invited you into his cabin to wait out the rain. "You crinkle your nose when you're thinking hard."

➵ He hadn't even realized. Wait, had you called him cute? He can hardly focus on his work now, damn you!

➵ He's in Pierre's shop buying a bouquet the same day you are, and you tease him for not making plans with you so you could've coordinated better. Your first date was properly coordinated.

➵ Elliott takes you out on his newly repaired boat, and drops one of the oars into the water by the dock. It's fairly easy to fish out, but of course he's never going to hear the end of it.

➵ "Butterfingers," You click your tongue in mock disapproval.

➵ He rolls his eyes back at you.

➵ Elliott has never been so inspired before - he finishes his book within the year, and of course one of the main characters has your cockiness. You're his new muse. A muse covered in dirt that brings him fresh pomegranates and the occasional feather.

Harvey

➵ You call him "Doc" even after he introduces himself to you. He doesn't really mind, a lot of people do. Being a farmer, you're one of his more frequent patients.

➵ "Give it to me straight, doc, am I gonna live?" You ask one time as he bandages your arm. You'd been attacked by one of your chickens. Harvey only snorts.

➵ Harvey is just happy to see you unhurt, not only because you stop by every so often to bring him a coffee. He likes coffee.

➵ "You're such a nerd," You tease at one point, but he's not bothered. Somehow, you've wormed your way into his heart with your... Natural charm.

➵ Harvey comes downstairs one evening to a bouquet of flowers on the front counter, along with a jar of pickled vegetables and a card. He knows who it's from, he knows your handwriting. He sends you a thank you letter, one that details all his feelings for you.

➵ You tell him the very next day it's currently pinned to your fridge. He's embarrassed. You can tell.

➵ Despite your habit of teasing him, you never pick on his failed pilot dreams. He appreciates it.

➵ You ask him to talk about things he likes. He rambles on for a very long time, and you're clearly happy to listen even if you don't understand. You call him an adorable dork with nothing but affection in your voice.

➵ Harvey briefly worries that he might faint.

➵ At least you're strong enough to catch him.

I always choose the orange cat in Stardew sorry dog lovers

Elliott calling me his wonderful man really transes my gender. Also Harvey telling me I look handsome

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

howdy!! hope ya don't mind but for vanilla and sve bachelors, got any hcs for a farmer with a massive interest for entomology and generally all things creepy-crawly (so this includes worms, slugs and snails, arachnids, etc)? To where they tend to excitedly catch any little critter they can find to passionately tell their spouse a whole novel's worth of information of what they're holding, down to the taxonomy? ...Even if they happily explain that what they're currently holding in their bare hands is dangerous, and that bites and stings can be extremely painful, cause permanent damage, or even be deadly. - 🐇

Good to see you again, bunny anon ❤️ Thank you for the question, hope you and others enjoy some headcanons 😊 🫶

SDV and SVE bachelors react to Farmer who are into entomology, herpetology and other creepy creatures:

SDV bachelors:

Sam:

Ewww! But also wow!

Sam didn't understand a lot of the complicated terms and names that Farmer started showering the young musician with when telling him about the bug species, but Sam was still curious!

Man, it's so ugly and so cool at the same time!

(Is Sam allowed to touch it? Or at least take a picture of it?)

Although he will be a little worried when he finds out that a particular bug is poisonous. Sam will ask his lover not to hold this thing with their bare hands.

Scary, but it's still pretty cool!

Shane:

*deep breath* "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Ok, that was rude of him, Shane didn't mean to insult his spouse in any way. But the fact that Farmer was holding a black snake with such a naive smile, saying it was deadly poisonous...

"You can tell about those creeping vipers without holding that fucking black snake in your hands!"

Well, he has no aversion to the rest of the creatures, especially the Farmer is so detailed and interesting about the same snails and worms.

They're even kind of cute.

But, for Yoba's sake, not deadly dangerous creatures!

Harvey:

When the Farmer told Harvey they wanted to show him a "cool snake they found," the doctor expected a harmless one. But not, by golly, a giant python!

And the fact that Farmer is holding the huge predator calmly in their hands as if they weren't talking about a dangerous creature, but a little puppy.

Despite the horror, Harvey is very admiring of Farmer's knowledge of herpetology.

But don't even ask Harvey to hold the snake in his hands. No thanks, he's not crazy.

Constantly worried about Farmer's health, because they already have a couple snake bites on their bodies.

Alex:

For all his love for Farmer, Alex would be a little skeptical of their hobby.

"Hon, are you sure it's okay to touch that? I don't think it's even safe to look at."

He suppressed the overwhelming urge to knock the creepy insect out of Farmer's hand, figuring he'd make it worse that way.

Didn't understand anything the Farmer was telling him, but it was still pretty interesting!

(As long as he doesn't hear the words "deadly", he's cool with his spouse's little weird hobby).

Sebastian:

In Sebastian's eyes, Farmer is the coolest person on the planet.

He is bothered by the fact that Farmer can hold very biting (and sometimes poisonous) spiders, but thinks their spouse knows what they are doing.

He loves to listen to Farmer for hours when they pick up a random worm or spider and start talking about these creatures in detail.

At times he will pick up a found crawling creature himself and ask the Farmer what it's called.

"Cool" - the most frequent word Farmer will hear from his spouse when they tells another story.

Elliott:

It took Elliott a lot of effort not to shriek in terror or faint.

He and his dear spouse walked through the woods and chatted about the weather until Farmer found a nest of live snakes. A whole nest with a dozen of the crawling critters, and the first thing Elliott's love of his live decided to do was to take the ball of snakes in their hands.

Unfortunately, the writer was too absorbed in his inner screaming to hear Farmer's interesting account of this species of snakes.

For Yoba's sake, tell him that the snakes in the Farmer's hands are not poisonous...

SVE bachelors:

Lance:

Lance is also an explorer of sorts, and although it's mostly about monsters, he's very interested in learning something new about the local fauna from his love.

That, however, does not prevent the adventurer from scolding his beloved Farmer for such a careless attitude to their own safety and health.

Lance will load the Farmer with vials of antidotes for poisonous snake and tarantula bites.

Maybe even cast a protective spell. And don't let the Farmer complain or grumble about it - Lance has every reason to worry about them.

He'll still be amazed at Farmer's deep knowledge.

Victor:

*Worried husband mode activated*

Victor is as amazed by the Farmer's intimate knowledge and their bravery as he is horrified by their utterly calm attitude towards the poisonous bug they have in their hands.

Wouldn't the Farmer rather put that bug back where they found it? So that, you know, Victor would stop worrying about the health of his precious spouse?

Still amazed at how accurately Farmer tells him about the classification of various reptiles and insects. Even his books don't go into that much detail, wow!

("Just don't get all the bugs and spiders in your bare hands again, please. Especially dangerous ones, okay, dear?")

Magnus Rasmodius:

"No. Not that. No, no, and no. NO."

Magnus uses magic to instantly teleport the bug that was in his lover's hands as far away as possible into the forest where the Farmer got the dangerous critter from.

A heavy scolding in three... two... one...

Magnus understands their passion, but they can also talk about this interesting fauna without putting his and their lives in danger.

He happens to have a book in his library describing the same snails, worms, beetles, and snakes. Only these creatures have magical properties.

Magnus will give them the book because of their fascination with the subject. But on the condition that his spouse will be a goody-goody and not look for trouble. Deal?

[stardewvalleybut-i-draw]

I wrote a giant description of all the characters based on what my friend and I were talking about can I have your opinion:

I am going to be starting with the first post where I mention the balectors of Stardew valley. This means the characters that you are able to date and eventually marry if you want to do that. In order to reach perfection, which is the end of the game, you need to have someone live in your house with 12 hearts in order to give you a stardrop. Hearts are friendship points you can get by giving points. That is one of the two ways to gain friendship. The other is through cut scenes you get by progressing in your relationship and by saying things that make them either like or hate you more.

Anyways, onto the characters, starting with Haley who is the first person you mention. I am married to her which is because I like how her character progresses. As you gain friendship with her, she gets more nice and is open to different things then she was before. For example, she used to throw away her clothes each year but says she donates it now. She is super cute and sweet when she is married to her and it seems as though she is in love. She is kind of like a disney princess as you mention because she likes makeup and is girly. The next you mentioned is Leah who actually lives in a cottage and lives to forage and build for you. Penny is actually the opposite of what you said as she is horrible at baking and teaches the two children in town (and eventually Leo) Jas and Vincent and she also likes to read. Her mother, Pam, is abusive. But I can talk about her in a little bit. Abigail is the most popular person to marry as people like her because she is adventurous and wants to fight in the caves and is in a band with Sam and Sebstain. There is a theory that she is actually the wizard’s daughter because her mom admits to going to his tower and her dad says they do not look similar and the wizard says he thinks he might have a daughter. Abigail is also kind of a meme because if you give her gems she will say, “How did you know that I was hungry?” Basically everyone considers her cool and a meme and she is probably the wizard’s daughter. Emily likes crystals and parrots and dances and all of her cut scenes are basically fever dreams. So she is kind of a psychopath and super excited all of the time. Her and Haley are sisters and do not get along. In earlier versions of Maru, she had really curly hair and a lot of the community, including me, thinks she looks better like that. I also consider her hair to be kind of cool. She likes robotics.

Anyways, the next up is the marriage candidates for the guys. You are totally right that it is so random. Elliot is a writer and he is very attention starved as he writes you poems and is obsessed with you when you date him and writes you a book based on what genre you say you like. Harvey IS a simple man. His favorite gift is coffee so you definitely got that done. He has anxiety and never talks to anyone and tries to be better about that if you date him. So he is chill and kind of a meme because your stuff gets taken if you get knocked out in battle and he charges a thousand gold for repairing you. You were exactly right with Sebastian as he is moody and does not like people and plays video games from 10am to 10pm. Alex is sexist to you if you are a girl and is kind of arrogant about wanting to be a professional football player. So you are completely right. You are wrong about Shane, though, he is actually really mean to you and wants you to not talk to him. Most of his events are about him being suicidal and depressed and an acholicoal. One is where he wants to roll off a cliff and is drunk. Not mafia material. I do agree about his jacket, though, it is kind of cool. Even though it has a J on it which stands for Joja which is a company he works for. Joja is basically the definition of capitalism in this game. Sam is actually friends with Sebastian and Abigail and he wants to be in a band which he is in. They like to play DND and it is a thing in the community that Sam and Sebastain should be dating.

Onto the villagers. Willy is a fisherman and kind of chill so you were sort of wrong but I would definitely want to go on an adventure with him as well so actually I agree, you win. Everyone loves Robin and a lot of people are sad you cannot date her because of Demetris. You were so wrong about Demetris but the way. Robin is actually Sebstain’s mom’s but he is it related to Demetrius. Demetris hates Sebastian but loves Maru and this makes Sebastian really angry. Demeteruis also does not care about Robin who we love. Sandy is my favorite as she is lonely in the desert and really wants to spend time with you and is super confident and sweet. You are right about Pam, also, by the way. She is super abusive and drinks too much beer every night and treats her daughter, Penny, unfairly. She also speaks like she is living in texas. The wizard is kind of weird but he is also cool because of his magic. Krobus is amazing and he is the opinion for the aromantics as you can have him move into your house and he gives you hugs instead of kisses and is amazing. The dwarf hates Krobus because of a war between the dwarfs and the shadow people so he kind of sucks. Krobus is adorable. Jas and Vincent are both kind of weird like no one cares about them. I mean Jas is more interesting because she is related to Shane and Marine and Vincent is interesting because his dad, Kent, has ptsd from fighting in the war. Kent is kind of weird and has a freakout because of popcorn because of his ptsd. Pierre is not like Harvey at all, he steals credit for your crops and only cares about money and nothing else. No one really likes him. Evelyn is the nicest person ever as she makes cookies for you and says you can call her Granny. Everyone likes her so much. Jodi is kind of boring and depressed because she has no freedom and spends her entire life taking care of her kids, Sam and Vincent. Demetris is awful. Linus and Leo go together because they both like nature and are kind of connected to it. Lewis is not. He steals money from the town and uses it to make gold statues of himself. He is dating Marine and refuses to make their relationship public even though no one would care and is toxic. Also, the others you did not mention are Caronline and Clint and George and Gus so I am just going to explain them. Caroline is Pierre’s husband and might be cheating on him so you know… kind of bad… whatever. She is fine I guess, it is weird, no one really cares about her. Clint has a crush on Emily and is super creepy about it and is kind of disgusting and tries to be like a sob story so not thank you. George is super grumpy and rude and is in a wheelchair because of a mining accident. Gus is amazing and kind of knows everything about everyone.

Onto the next section, okay? Grandpa looks blue because he is a ghost who visits you in your third year. I do not like him. It is weird. The governor is actually like you think he is, he has no clue about anything and just wants to visit once a year to literally just eat soup. (I am not kidding, look it up, promise you.) Marlon is actually like you say and he has a crush on Marnie and is a perfect opinion for her. Birdie is part of ginger island and is super sweet and gives you fairy dust and you find something for her to remind her of her husband who died in a tragic accident. It is amazing to do because you get an award and it is just wholesome and kind of sad. Gil does supply items and he is like a moment away from death basically so you are right. Gunther is awesome and yeah, kind of suspicious but great. Okay. That is all of the villagers summarized for you.

Woo boy, you gave me a whole novel!

well, here are some of my thoughts:

Penny isn't necessarily bad at cooking,(from what I know) she just shouldn't experiment. She's also shy and emotionally sensitive

Emily is what I believe people call a "Cristal girl" not necessarily a psychopath, she also seems to have her "head in the clouds" and yeah, positive most of the time.

Ermm... actually☝️🤓 Harvey takes 10% of however much gold you have.

Dang, you kept Alex one short! But yeah, same thing as Hayley but with the ego and the sexism if you're a girl. He also lives with Grany Eveiln and Granpa Jorge because his mother died and the father was presumably abusive

To be fair to ghost grandpa, he's stuck haunting the farm until you can get the perfection statue so he kinda can't move on lmao!

Marlon is also a cool adventurer who will go down in the dangerous mines to get your stuff if you pay him

I wouldn't say Demetrius hates Sebastian, he just has a huge favoritism problem. He's also a very logical thinker from what I can interpret in his dialog

And to be fair to Clint... the Farmer's also kinda a stalker...in more ways than one...

But I'm not here to argue anything, I'm just sharing some thoughts. You have a right to think whatever you want about whatever character

Overall pretty good! 👍

[salemcantupdate]

I’m sitting here, thinking about possible ships in Stardew Valley that don’t involve the farmer. I’ve seen quite a few. Of course there’s the canon stuff, aka the married couples and Marnie with Lewis. It’s also canon that Alex says he’s jealous if you get with Haley. Ignoring Clint and Emily because I’m sorry but that’s literally “nice guy creepy incel” getting the girl.

But! I don’t like most of the married couples AND I don’t like Marnie with Lewis. So I’m gonna go on a little exploration here.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot of Caroline and the Wizard. First of all I absolutely think that Abigail is the Wizard’s kid, but I also don’t think those two actually… like each other? I think it was more of a fling than anything. But low key? Part of me thinks the Wizard and Lewis could be kinda fun, I’ve also seen art of the Razzy with Marlon. Which would be fun! But I do think it’s really cute when Marlon says that Marnie is really pretty. It’s just precious to me.

But BUT, crazy thought

Willy and Razzy mic Dazzle???? HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT

Willy is a traveler! He fishes all over the place!!! He’s gotta have experience with sea monsters and weird magics, and imagine the Wizard requests some specific sea based spells or works with him to help find merpeople OR ensures the seas and skies are calm so that he can sail safely. DO YOU SEE MY VISION???

Cough, so— I’m thinking Willy with Razzmocious and Marnie breaking up with Lewis and Marlon slowly winning her over himself. Caroline though? Honestly don’t think she’s the happiest with Pierre, he’s pretty shit. Low key I like her with Jodi haha. Like Kent isn’t bad, not at all, I just don’t think Jodi loves him. But Caroline and Jodi feel a bit too obvious, so… hear me out… Caroline and Gunther. She regularly visits the library so— gah yeah that’s stupid. Caroline deserves someone who will just cuddle with her and Jodi needs someone who makes her feel alive again. They’ve got different needs. Kent also needs a lot of love and therapy, which I don’t think Jodi can provide. Ok, I’m gonna move on to an easier one I’m dying here.

Sam and Sebastian are so obvious, going insane here. 100% ship them. I’ve seen some people throw Abigail into the mix, but personally I’m not the biggest fan of that. Honestly? I’m kinda into Abigail and Haley—

OK LISTEENNNNN, listen. Abigail’s 14 heart scene… imagine if Haley was there instead of the farmer. It just fits so perfectly. Pretty girlfriend loving buff girlfriend. I THINK ITS CUTE OK LEAVE ME ALONE SOB SOB SOB

Speaking of the girls, I like Maru and Penny together a lot. I just see them around town together all the time and I think it’s super cute haha. Ah shoot, that reminds me of Robin. I do not like Demetrius, personally. Though I suppose there marriage seems to work. I wouldn’t break them apart.

Ok, now on to my hotter tea. Harvey and Shane. Harvey is just so sweet and so loving and so nice and caring and Shane has no experience with that and Harvey gets Shane access to a therapist dhkfhwkd— I think it’s cute. I think it would be really cute if they started hanging out and Shane realized how poorly Harvey ate and started scolding him like “You’re always scolding me but you eat like this?” And just keeps going as he cooks them both a meal and gruffly sets it out for Harvey and—

Sobbing

Ok my other somewhat hot take, Elliott and Alex. The reasoning here might be iffy, but I like the idea of Alex getting with a guy who broadens his range of what masculinity means. I think it would also be cute if Alex slowly gained a love for reading through Elliott. Plus I think Alex could be a magnificent muse given his past. It could be cute.

Oh and my final take is Morris and Pierre should hatefuck

…

ANYWAYS

But yeah, I don’t necessarily ship all these. Like, actively and actually ship them. I might one day, but right now I’m just sitting in my thought stew.

[blackquillchillin]

Okay for Simon romancing people in Stardew Valley, we gotta evaluate the potential relationship with each of the characters, so, starting with the Bachelors!!

Alex: gives young person vibes, similar to how Sam does, but more then that i just don't think he's Simon's type. Cocky Jock with Gridball on the brain, eh. I don't know they'd have anything to talk about, really.

Elliott: Aesthetically quite nice, though I don't know if I picture Simon as being very appearance focused in partnerships. Very Artsy. Could work, though I think Simon would be pretty neutral towards him initially.

Harvey: Huge Bonus is that he does not appear as young as some of the other Bachelors. I'm also biased, as He and Sam are the only two I've gotten to marriage to personally. (and quite liked both of them) That said...I don't think he has enough Confidence for Simon. He's dedicated to being a doctor, sure, but he's also nervous, with huge amounts of anxiety at times. He talks constantly about the health and safety of the town, but when other topics do come up, particularly in dating, he's easily flustered. As cute as i find him (and his mustache) I don't think Simon would be interested.

Sam: Reads as too young. everything's still about skateboards and music. Not too young for romance, mind, I romanced him, but too young for Simon. does have golden retriever energy though, which is nice, and really loves his younger brother, also a plus. and he does grow a little once married, But I think it would feel weird. Better match for someone Athena or Apollo's age.

Sebastian: Now here's where we get into the fun stuff!! I think Sebastian would NOT like Simon, who in turn would be....very neutral towards the young man, and completely unaware of the one sided rivalry brewing. See, a lot of the problems Sebastian faces are concerns about not being able to establish himself. He's living in his Mom's basement, with his Step Father he dosn't get along well with, and half-sister who he sees as being favored over him. He also feels no one takes his job seriously, (example, in his two heart event we learn Abigail plans to come visit regardless of him working) but one thing he IS is the town's resident Goth, even more so then Abby. So, imagine, just imagine, how frustrating it would be for him when Simon rolls up, Grumpy and Standoffish, Shock of black hair, dressed all in black, hawk perched on his shoulder, already having his own space with a job everyone recognizes and not having to answer to anyone. If we wanted to count who's edgier, Simon's even been to prison. Heck, in this world he might even have prison tats, anything could happen. And Simon? not the least bit concerned about this, or even aware.

Shane: On the one hand, no one should romance Shane. Shane needs a friend, absolutely, but he also needs therapy, and is not ready to commit to marriage. I might feel differently about this if he wasn't returning to drinking after tying the knot, or reacted to you giving him Beer after quitting. On the other hand, they're both deeply troubled, and I absolutely pair deeply troubled fictional characters, both romantically and platonically. (Bobby Lives! Blackbright whomst, on both counts) They could be deeply troubled.....together..........

And that's the Bachelors! Next up, Bachelorettes..... Abigail: One of her Big character conflicts is growing pains and tension with her Dad. Too young for Simon.

Emily: Too new age-y. I do think they could be friends, though. She'd gift him crystals to "help him absorb negative energy" and he'd get caught in anything she's hung from the ceiling, like dream catchers or beaded curtains. She would be brightly optimistic even as he grouses about life, though wouldn't always appreciate his sarcastic ways.

Haley: Okay hear me out, same energy as Blackmahdi, or NyQuill as I prefer to call it. Sure, it's missing the Ying-Yang color scheme, but consistently arguing? taking pot-shots at each other? both being complex characters with real human motivations underneath their cruel exterior? yeah. It could work. Emily wouldn't be thrilled that that's how they talk to each other though.

Leah: Don't have a reason for it other then I just don't see it. Like, sure, it could happen, but I just don't think it would, you know?

Maru: Simon would be immediately put off by her dad, like that's a big no. Also, she reads fairly young, being at least younger then Seb. also, while he may be reasonably fond of her as a person, (or maybe not, i dunno) I think growing up with Aura may have killed any interest in inventors in general.

Penny: Okay, I know I said Harvey was too timid for Simon, and Penny doesn't exactly exude confidence, but it's not the same. She's a lover of children, who's actively trying to teach the only two children in town. She's aggressively helpful, and trapped in rough circumstances. Also, he could sweep her up in his arms and hold her close and she could gently help him through his anxiety attacks and no I'm not projecting-

Lastly, It's not Romance, but Platonic,

Krobus: No notes. Sweet little guy. Perfection. Simon would share his house with him, as would anyone.

And that's the list!! let me know if you want to hear potential dynamics with the other townsfolk, I may have more thoughts about some of them then others, of course.

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Which Arkham Knight rogues would be good parents ?

WOOF, ok this list might be kinda short lmao.

First off, Mr. Freeze. He and Nora would be loving parents, though Freeze's obsessive love and desire to protect would extend to his kid as well as Nora. Sometimes a family is a baby, a recently defrosted wife, and a blue man that will fucking kill anyone who threatens his family's happiness. Bonus angst: he hates that even if he's safer in the suit, he can't properly hold his child. So he constantly exits the suit and takes a double dose of the liquid he takes to minimize pain just so he can touch them. The feeling that his body is on fire is worth it if it means he can hold them. His one regret is that because he's so cold, his touch can startle or even scare his baby if he uses his bare hands. So he makes his pain worse by wearing mittens and padding to keep them comfortable.

Ivy in the comics has taken in children in the past, and I think she would be a good mother. She would instill a respect for nature into her child and I think she would worry about her child's well being. They would come from her and thus be a plant hybrid, and that connection to the Green has admittedly driven her to insanity. The earth is a beautiful system of roots, mycelium, spores, but her child would have to hear the constant screaming and despair of every plant under threat and being choked by man. She would try her best to help them cope and she'd have more empathy for her child than anyone else on the planet because of that.

Jason if he counts would be a good dad, albeit very protective. He won't kill anyone unless they're a genuine threat to his family, but he'll coerce, manipulate, and threaten whoever he needs to keep them happy and safe. Like if a particular kid kept hurting his child at daycare and the staff weren't doing anything to stop it, he'll have his own personal "parent conference" to convince Mom and Dad to curb this behavior. And he'll also dangle the head staff member off a rooftop and have them be more mindful of his kid's needs.

Harvey might be a good dad, but Two-Face wouldn't. His instability would definitely startle and scare his kid who can't really understand why daddy talks/acts/is two people, and why he has to use a coin for everything. He'd embody both sides of parenthood. Harvey is the nurturing, caring, loving side who genuinely wants to do right by his child; Two Face is the fierce protector who will kill, torture, and destroy anything and anyone he views as a threat to his kid and their happiness. Ie. Harvey would comfort his kid if they were being bullied, Two Face would fucking torture the family of the bully and threaten students/teachers into treating his kid nicely at school.

Penguin is also like that but is ostensibly a bit more chill and spoils his kid a LOT more. His dad shipped him away to boarding school but he doesn't want to do that to his kid. He'd only do that if he needed his kid sent somewhere far away from a direct threat to their life, and even then he is constantly sending them letters, calling them/video chatting, giving them gifts, etc. That kid is gonna have a gold encrusted spoon in their mouth and a dad who constantly shows off his "cute lil' baby bird" to everyone.

Deathstroke is canonically a terrible father BUT maybe for the right Darling he'd try to keep a distant but loving relationship encrypted by several layers of security. He's got too many people who'd butcher his baby as revenge to risk being too close, but maybe he'd try his best for Kid Number Four.

[agrebel18]

huntlow and/or gusmatt for the ask game!

oooh I'll do both!

Huntlow (the first one) and Gustholomule (the second one)

What made you ship it? Honestly, I think it was the half-a-witch parallels they have, plus the hands in ASIAS! Also I saw Hunter blush at her in LR and immediately got attached, along with how happy Willow was when Hunter helped Gus 😭

What are your favorite things about the ship? A LOT OF THINGS, tbh, but mostly how protective they are of each other and how much they mean to each other (hence the speech in FTF) plus I just REALLY love how they were shown in FTF, like they definitely have crushes on each other and are willing to maybe get into a romantic relationship with each other in the future BUT they can also be friends at the same time and don't pull that "more than friends" BS!

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I am some flavor of aspec (don't know where but probably not allo) but yet I don't consider it "a waste of representation" that they're both into each other, like I saw Willow as demiromantic/sexual but it might not be true yet I'm not getting all pissy about it or bothering the crew to confirm my headcanons like SOME PEOPLE ARE, ugh. ALSO, I personally think they did their relationship justice in season 3, especially FTF! It was a little fast paced, but it didn't come out of nowhere and I don't consider it rushed! Though we could've gotten a lot more if we had gotten a full season 3 :/ What made you ship it? I think it was the picture that Gus has on his bedroom wall and seeing that Matt joined the illusion track because he most likely saw Gus making them, plus these idiots have THE CUTEST FANART

What are your favorite things about the ship? Mostly their dynamic and parallels to Luz and Amity, ESPECIALLY in season 1 and then in TTLGR, it's so cute how many parallels they have to the girlfriends! (intentional or not, we don't know) Plus the way that Matt was basically flirting SUPER CONFIDENT AND SHOWING OFF with Gus in FTF was too funny, plus he mentioned that Gus taught him illusion tricks🥺

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on the ship? I really like them a lot, but because of the shortening of the show and all the stuff they have to resolve in "Watching and Dreaming" I don't think they should be OFFICIALLY canon or dating or anything at the end, but ONLY because we weren't able to see alot of their bond in canon, and I don't want them to be rushed or anything :( BUT that doesn't mean I don't want more crumbs of them, especially in the end. I just have a feeling that had we gotten the full season 3, they could've been EVEN CUTER than they already are, PLUS with the parallels they have to Luz and Amity, we could've gotten other interracial MLM rep besides Gilbert and Harvey (no hate tho, I love them!) to go along with the interracial sapphic rep we have.

[dotthings]

Gotham Knights 1x07 "Bad to Be Good"

Thank you to the writers, Allegre Rodriguez & Michelle Furtney-Goodman.

Loved this ep overall. Also bless this series for how it films Misha Collins. Who is himself a work of art.

Following on that theme from the past few eps, Cullen's concern about saving the painting from the black market, where it would wind up hidden from public eyes, is very community-minded of him. He also genuinely cares about the role of art. Steph also takes this up, as we're told they talked about "the importance of art." But also during their coffee and art talk, found a link to their immediate interests and needs.

Harper wonders why she or the Knights should care about works of communal value. She only gets interested when Steph tells them the paintings were all owned by Alan Wayne, which is a link to the Court of Owls. Harper needs a specific and immediate purpose link that involves self-preservation or protecting people she's close to before she cares. Cullen and Steph see a bigger picture but are also motivated by the specific interest and needs, they do both.

Carrie and Duela are a really fun chaos duo, opposites conspiring together and bickering the whole time. Carrie's judging-you-both faces at Eunice and Duela, the epic eye-rolls, Carrie regretting all her life choices, Carrie's thinking FML how did I wind up in this mess. And then Duela eye-rolling over Carrie. Comedy gold. The beginnings of that friendship was unexpected. They're demonstrating different points on the morality and ethics scale. This show has a lot of moral relativism. "Potato, tomato, little bird." Carrie was morally right, but wrong in this situation, Duela isn't ethical, but Duela's antics allowed them to save Detective Green's family.

Eunice stabbing Duela's hand with the ballerina from her music box was very hard core.

Turner seems like he's emerging as more of a leader in this ep. He's also using the bat-toys. Following his dad's legacy, but in his own way, not trying to be Batman.

I immensely enjoy how Misha plays every scene in this like the lead in a classic Hollywood noir or suspense thriller. He's got some great Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart vibes going on. That shot of the cordless phone ringing, looming ridiculously large in foreground, is also vintage Hollywood, Hitchcock kind of style. Misha has the range, the gravitas, and the camera adores him. And Harvey's a whole meal of a character here (on top of being an absolute snack), one of the few decent Gotham leaders, a regular guy in over his head, wondering if he's going mad, trying to solve the mystery, plagued by his inner demons, while being a good person, but shadows over his shoulder.

Lauren Stamile does a great job playing Rebecca March. Her role here is the femme fatale of classic Hollywood. Vulnerable, sincere, yet a touch dangerous. Doesn't mean Rebecca is lying. But anyone who's watched some of those old films knows there could be some plot twists. I wonder where this arc is going to lead.

Steph tending to Harper's wound outside the warehouse and in the end scenes. Their cute flirting. The little smiles. After Harper saved Steph from mobster bullets, Steph taking care of Harper's bullet wound. Enemies to reluctant allies to sorta kinda friends to lovers? Yes please.

Cressida going to Harvey for help...might be sincere. It's looking like all of Gotham is in deadly peril, so much so that Cressida's fear for the fate of millions is overcoming her fear for herself. If the Court's bigger picture plans are a lot more dire than just controlling Gotham financially and socially. Something has scared her badly. Or it's another ploy.

That's one of the fun things about this series, there's a lot of layers, and secrets inside secrets and things not being what they seem.

[babiebom]

Sdv Age and Height Headcanons

A/N: hi! It’s officially my birthday(the 15th) and I am now 23 :((((( I didn’t know what to post because everything is in the works right now but I wanted to post something to celebrate in a way so here!! Only base game stardew characters so no ridgeside or expanded. I do count Rasmodius/Marlon/Gunther/Morris as base game even though they’re expanded upon in mods. If anyone has questions for me (personal or about my fics or whatever) feel free to request or ask!!

Tw: none other than a mention of death in Shane’s part.

Sdv Masterlist

Sebastian

We always have to start with the loml (it tries to autocorrect loml to mommy and lonely btw)

I think he’s about 23-26 I think he has a degree in IT but I’m not sure. He has to be able to have graduated or taken classes or something.

I think he’s 5’10 at the shortest and 6’2 maybe 6’2 1/2 at the tallest.

Idk just seems tall to me because he’s lowkey intimidating.

Sam

Him and Abigail are in the same age range. I think they were born in the same year.

This means he is about 22-25 and his birthday occurs right after summer break(maybe I should do birthday headcanons?)

I think he is a very tall boy(keep in mind that I am short af so what I mean by very tall depends)

So maybe he is 5’10 at the shortest like Seb and 6’3 at the tallest.

I think him and Seb can be interchangeable when it comes to height? Both of them however come behind Harvey and Elliott but not by a lot.

Shane

The shortest bachelor for sure

I think he is very short and stocky he gives me big strong dad energy like your dads not the tallest but man is strong af.

So maybe 5’5-5’8? I mean 5’8 isnt short at all really but keep in mind I’m saying this is the tallest he can be, and the height really does make some guys seem really short when in reality they arent( also my phone tried to add king every time I typed short so there’s that)

Among the older bachelors so about 31-35?

I feel like that’s enough time to go from playing football(sorry gridball) in high school, getting a scholarship to play in college, dropping out to take care of his goddaughter when his friends die and becoming depressed.

He just seems like a 30 something year old going through the trenches :(.

Harvey

I think the oldest out of the bachelors and bachelorettes. He has gone to med school and that is I think at least like 4 years then 8 years? Unless I’m wrong lmao

So I think he would be around 35-38

He’s an older man that has spent his life helping people it’s so cute

He is on the taller side. In my mind he gives gentle giant vibes.

So 6’0 at the shortest and maybe 6’5 at the tallest. I think he towers over people but his posture is so bad that no one notices.

Alex

I think he is between the ass trio and Maru so 21-24

I think he graduated high school only a couple years prior to year one because of how passionate he is about gridball and how he thinks it’ll happen I don’t think anyone older would be like “someday I’ll go pro” they’d be crushed already

I think he is 6’0 exactly. He gives off 6 feet vibes like I can see that if he had a tinder profile it would 100 percent say “I’m 6’0 btw”

Elliott

I think he’s 34 exactly.

He seems like during his 20s he worked in the family business, he did what was told of him because he didn’t really know how to be an adult.

Then when he hit 30 he decided that he didn’t want anything to do with the family business and decided to move to Pelican Town to follow his dreams of writing.

He had enough money saved up to move and cut contact with his parents after they threatened to disown him because of him choosing to chase his dreams.

I think he is up there with Harvey as I’ve already said. I think they could be the same height range and who is taller is interchangeable.

So 6’0-6’5 really. Gives off hunk on the cover of a romance novel vibes.

Penny

I think she’s around 24-26. And I do think she has a teaching license and an education degree so this would give her enough time to have graduated and come back to Pelican Town after like a year of teaching in the city.

She seems sort of mature but immature at the same time, like immature when it comes to romance and dating, and sort of life but also she has the vibes of an introvert that was forced to mature quickly so she is good at making decisions, but at the same time her emotions are out of whack.

I think she’s a petite girl she doesn’t look very tall at all.

So I think she’s 5’2-5’5 I think for women to me 5’5 that’s the cap on people seeming short to me for women.

Abigail

Luckily I didn’t have to think about this too hard because I already answered this in one of my very first posts

I think she is 5’4 to 5’8 (sorry I’m American so 162 to 172 cm?)

She’s the first one I’m doing I’m not converting everyone but it’s like 2.5 cm per inch and 30.5 per foot

Her age is around 22-25 in year 1 I think. I know I’m my original Abigail headcanon I said oldest is 24 but I think 25 is okay.

She is amongst the youngest in her grade level during school years.

Haley

I think she’s on the younger side, like the same age range as Alex. Especially because she gives the vibes if she just graduated and hasn’t grown out of her mean girl/insecure personality

So she’s about 21-24

I think she’s similar to Abigail where she gives off like petite girl energy but also tall girl energy. Like I feel like she was a cheerleader and people always said that she could model so maybe she’s on the taller side

So maybe 5’4-5’7

Idk what it is about women that are 5’7 are specifically beautiful to me, they seem super tall but not so tall that it makes me feel like they’re a giant, their arms and legs are long idkidk.

Emily

She’s the older sister of Haley, and I think she’s pretty close to Shane and Gus so I think she’s on the older side

I also think that she could be the oldest out of all the bachelorettes.

So maybe 29-35

She seems a lot more mature than Haley, as well as understanding and confident in her life and her choices

As well as she doesn’t seem insecure or as if she’s weird at all like I think younger people are.

I think her height range is very small compared to the others like

She’s 5’5-5’6

She gives off the vibes for that like not too short not too tall just average.

Maru

In my opinion Maru is the youngest out of the bachelorettes AND bachelors because I think everyone is around the same age and she’s the younger sister of Sebastian who I think is closer to everyone else’s ages so it makes her younger.

I think she’s about 19-21

Like yes she’s working as a nurse, but it’s a small town and she’s an actual genius, I don’t think they care that she’s young. Besides Harvey handles everything on his own she mostly does paperwork and assistant stuff.

Her height has to be around like 5’2-5’4 I think she is a very small girl despite Robin and Demetrius being a little on the taller side.

Leah

I think she might be the second oldest out of the bachelorettes

Like her backstory is her working in a dead end job, she was in a longtime relationship and could’ve gotten married had she not decided to leave

So she’s about 27-31 she’s not the same age as Emily, but she does hang out with Elliott so I think she’s a little older.

I think she’s about 5’6 she makes me feel as if she’s about average in heigh because of how artistic she is I feel like anyone smaller would be very disadvantaged when carving or doing anything and so would someone taller.

Pierre

I think he would be about 5’9-5’11

Like he doesn’t seem too tall but he does give me taller side energy

Would probably tell people he’s 6 feet bc he gives me the vibes of someone who would because he wants to seem like he’s perfect.

I think he’s like 45-48

He is for sure older than Caroline especially because I believe he is into the traditional gender roles which means younger wife and older husband.

Caroline

Caroline I think is a very average woman. And not by looks because I think she actually would be quite attractive like I feel like she would be vERY beautiful.

I mean in terms of her body, she isn’t too big or too small, she didn’t have too much fat or too little her body is just average.

So I think she would be 5’4-5’6

I also think all of the moms are in a similar age range so she would be 44-47

Honestly with the way they’re designed I would’ve said 30s but that would make no sense if their kids are in the marrying age/having kids range.

Jodi

I think she is on the shorter side, she gives me short thicc mom energy. Especially because Kent is a military man.

So maybe 5’2-5’5 bc I think Kent towers over her and so does Sam. The kids did not get her genes because I do think Vincent would be quite tall when he is an adult.

I also think she would be like 43-46 she has a kid that’s an adult and a kid that’s a child so I think this age range would be more plausible for her to have had one kid young and the other one at an older age.

Kent

Is large and in charge like BIG MAN

So I think he must be 6’2-6’5

Like towers over most people and intimidates them based on size alone.

Similar age as Jodi. I think they probably were in the same grade in high school so same age 43-46

Vincent

Right now like as of year 1 would probably be tiny

Like people think he’s going to turn out like Jodi but would actually turn out to be like Kent and Sam and be huge.

So maybe like 3’10?

Kinda small for his age but not like super small?

He is probably 6 or 7 years old

So CUTEEEEEE

Evelyn

Granny Evelyn is probably TINY

Like I think she is 4’9

She’s so cute and small and was probably taller when she was younger

Also old as HELL from how she looks

So maybe from 80-95

Because she as well as George have to older than everyone on the older side.

George

Was probably on the taller side before he was wheelchair bound.

Probably 5’11 exactly like not super tall but tall enough.

Him and Evelyn have such a big height gap and it’s ADORABLE.

I think maybe 2 or 3 years older than Evelyn

83-98 so super old lmao

Pam

I think the oldest out of the parents

So maybe 49-54

She hates the fact that she’s on the older side out of the parents, especially because she isn’t really close to the others as much as she would like to be. She feels out of place among them.

I think she’s about 5’6 I can see her being VERY beautiful when she was younger, and she probably still has a nice body and face, especially if she stops drinking.

Lewis

His ass is probably in his 60s but sees himself as younger

I think 60s isn’t really old at all, like it’s still enough time to do different things.

But his glory days are over

Probably 5’9 like average height.

Clint

I think he might be younger than Emily. His crush seems very immature to me. And it makes him a little less incel-y but idk.

So maybe 27-30?

He’s definitely old enough to know not to act a fool but like it makes sense at this age that he’s an asshole after being rejected for so long y’know.

I think he’s maybe 5’9? Not too short but not too tall. Definitely thinks being taller could’ve helped his situation.

Gunther

I cannot tell anything about this man at ALL

He’s very mysterious

I think he is literally 40-59

Could literally be anywhere in that

He’s probably 5’10 too since I think he’s able to see something on the shelves, and he can see over the counter.

Gus

He’s on the older side. Idk if he has kids or anything, but he gives dad vibes

So maybe 50-59 not too old but like middle aged.

Very sweet and that’s what gives me the father vibes.

Also he doesn’t seem like a gossip but knows a lot which gives me that age range.

I think he’s either 5’6 or 6’3 nothing else. I think 5’6 is more likely though.

Demetrius

I think he is a little younger than Robin. It’s lowkey what makes him and Sebastian to be so bad at getting along.

So maybe 40-42?

Old enough to be a dad but not really old enough I guess.

I think he is VERY tall. Especially since in game it looks like he has a little height over Robin.

So 6’3 at the shortest? 6’5 at the most?

Robin

43-46

I think she had Sebastian at 20? Maybe younger but I think 20 is a good age. She was young and barely out of teenagedom that her parents were probably upset.

I think she’s a little tall but not too tall like 5’7

Very beautiful and her legs are longer than her torso but not in a tall SpongeBob vibe y’know.

Marlon

I think he’s in his 50s? So 50-60

I think he is younger than Lewis and that’s also why they can’t really get along other than Marnie.

Probably 5’10

Like tall enough that when fighting monsters he has no disadvantage but not so tall that he can’t get anything done.

Linus

He is also mysterious.

He looks old but at the same time he lives in nature and his looks probably don’t match his age.

So anywhere from 50-70?

Some 70 year olds look young and can move around and I don’t doubt that he is agile due to him being a nature man.

Leo

On the taller side of kids.

So sort of like 4’5 or almost 5’0

I think Leo is older than Jas and Vincent

But not too much older that it’s weird.

So maybe 10?

Marnie

I think she is on the older side. I don’t think that she is too old, for sure younger than Lewis

I think she’s like 50-56?

Young enough that Lewis wants to sleep with her for sure

Also young enough that she still hopes by some miracle that she has a child

I think she’s like 5’2-5’4

Rasmodius

I think he is either like super old like hundreds of years or like a mortal person old

So maybe like 60-70

Quite a bit older than Caroline and old enough that he has lived and seen some things

Like an affair and a divorce and losing everything

Probably 6’0 exactly ngl

Jas

Also on the smaller side, and will end up like 5’2 at most when she’s older

So like 3’7 first year she is a very small BABY

She’s also the same age as Vincent so 6 or 7

Willy

I think he is old but doesn’t look it

So in his 60s-70s

Has time to fish and perfect it has time to gain things and lose things

Has lived through a LOT

I think he is 5’5-5’9

A bit on the smaller side but y’know short kings exist.

[croctus]

how would you improve each datable NPC in Stardew Valley?

i was bewildered for a moment before i remembered i was talking shit about them on this blog previously haha! let me see. i think most of them i have issues with just act 10 years younger than they are- so there are a few ways this can be changed?

also keep in mind i adore stardew and really do like these characters even just as they are, im just a hater lol

judging hard-

Alex

i honestly think this guy could be GREATLY improved if he were actively taking care of his grandparents. maybe we see him out walking with them, on the roof doing repairs before a rainy day, running errands for them or cooking for them, etc. boy spends half his time staring at his dog in a household of two elderly disabled folks who could use him. even a teenager could take notice and offer to help.

Abigail

shes one of the most childish unfortunately lmao. i think one of the most glaring is she goes extremely hard in an easter egg hunt against two preschoolers- maybe if she instead tried to help one of them win but got a little competitive about it, thatd be cute? idk. additionally she could work part time at the store, or at the guild, or clint's, it'd fit her character.

Sam

i get the player interactivity elements but what kind of goober goes through all the work to put a band together but doesnt know what genre they wanna play, unless theyre just a teen interested in the aesthetic of a band. it comes across sorta inauthentic. boy rolls his eyes and grumbles when his mom asks him to help clean a fish, too. cmon man, youre grown.

Sebastian

both sam and seb suffer from the same 'gawwd stay out of my room MOOOM' sort of vibes- maybe if they had an apartment together but still regularly visited their parents for dinner theyd come across as a little more grown (not to say that like, living with parents is inherently childish but how they interact with their folks comes across that way). he also really shouldn't be taking his angst out on his opinion of his half sister, and maybe if he had a little more of a solid adult go-plan than 'im gonna run away to the city' hed seem more mature.

could b better-

Shane

i dont want to be harsh on this guy but he sort of backslides after marriage hardcore. depression isnt a singular uphill climb but at least he could show hes still working on it- the occasional mention of a talk with a therapist, or cleaning up a little after himself, etc. maybe trying to eat a little better when living on a farm lol.

Penny

shes fine, other than the scene w/ george: pushing his wheelchair without asking and then HE apologizes/the scene fames this action as a good thing and you lose points with her if you point out it's rude. sometimes in trying to help people, you dont always do the right thing for them - that would be a little more nuanced for her.

im just picky-

Elliott + Harvey

theyre fine? maybe itd be fun if elliott went on some book tours or somesuch in the winter regularly after marriage, and harvey joined a plane hobbyist group or smth. they have a lot of personality but an issue a lot of these characters have is they just sort of putter out after marriage

Leah + Haley

this game has a lot of redheads lol. leah is fine though, and haley is cute. like other npcs id just want them to find their own independent success with their artistic skills- maybe letters come in the mail occasionally to them congratulating them on photos/sculptures making it into magazines, etc, to show they still have their own things going on

Emily + Maru

they're fine, i just like older/fanmade versions of their sprites more lol