#I don’t feel like I’m living life trapped inside my own head

[idsb]

I do want to go home to my boyfriend and I do want to like, get to whatever my life is gonna be but the idea of hitting stop on my life here is making me feel sick. I have to quit my job in the next few days and after the birthday I’ve had I just. I don’t know. Like I do know but I can’t face it. And I also don’t know.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Quiet Ones 5

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You live a quiet life, but your peace is fractured by a chaotic man.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen, short!shy!reader

Note: I slept for like ten hours and it was fucking wild.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

You watch the long needle slide out from under your skin. You don’t feel it much. That man, Lloyd, loops the tube around the IV bag stand. You sit in the bed still, disoriented and dull. You can feel the tension buzzing off of him, as if he’s holding himself back. That scares you more than anything he’s done. 

Before you can say or do anything, your stomach growls. The tumble is painful as your insides squeeze violently. He looks at you and takes your hand, tugging you towards the edge as he snickers. 

“Hungry, jellybean?” He teases, “come on. I’ll make you a nice omelet.” He pulls until you shimmy across the bed. You turn your legs out and can’t help but use his strength to stand. He’s patient as he easily hauls you up. “You okay, babykins? I could carry you. Like before.” 

“N-no,” you try to wiggle your hand free but his grip is unbreakable. He squeezes and you quit your resistance. 

“You might be a bit groggy, that’s normal. The smoke, the meds--” 

“Meds?” 

“Well, I slipped a bit extra in the bag,” he shrugs as he glances over at the IV, “just so you could sleep.” 

You look at him, your horror burning from your eyes. He grins proudly and swings your arm, turning to lead you to the door. You take short steps, muscles stiff and achy, shoulders wracked from sleeping on your back. You look down at yourself and shudder; at least you’re still wearing your own clothes. 

“I’ve been doing cooking classes. I can do a florentine that will blow your tits off,” he boasts as he angles you through the door. 

The hall is airy and echoey. The house must be huge. You get that sense easily. You don’t need to go around and count the rooms. He takes you down the long hallway and you stop at the top of a set of stairs. They bend in the middle but more corning, there’s a large space between each. They’re polished to a shine and look slippery as the morning reflects off of them. 

“Just a step at a time,” he goads as you latch onto the railing.  

You put a foot down and grip both him and the railing. Another tide of wooziness comes over you. It could be what he gave you or your days of restriction, but it’s too much. The world is too much. 

“That’s it, baby,” he coos as you take a second step down.  

This is strange. It reminds you of a movie you watched as a kid with a maze and twisting and turning walkways and a taunting villain. You’ve awoken in his trap and you see no escape in sight. 

You slip on the third and let out a squeak as you feel yourself falling. He’s quick to catch you, scooping you up easily even in the narrow space. He lifts you and continues down swiftly, bringing you onto flat ground. You murmur and rub your head as you feel his heartbeat against your arm. 

You feel a tickle in your hair and hear him take a deep breath. Is he smelling you? You repress a shiver at the thought as your eyes struggle to focus on the shapes all around you.  

He carries you into another room, a kitchen, as spacious and sleek as any other part of the strange house. A white marble counter lines two walls and wraps around into full C, marking off the cooking space. On the other side, there’s glass table in an abstract, asymmetric shape with metal frame chairs around it. The whole place is out of one of those design magazines. All impractical at the expense of aesthetic. 

He sits you in one of the chairs, it’s just a rigid as you expect. He stays bent, holding you by the shoulders until your hold yourself up. He drags his hands down your arms as he reluctantly pulls away. You flutter your lashes and rub your eye sockets, trying to block out your reality. 

“My sleepy bean,” he beams and plants a kiss on the top of your head. “So how about it? Eggs florentine? Or are you in the mood for something a bit sweeter? I’ve perfected my crepes.” 

You grumble and drop your hands slowly, crossing your arms as a chill rolls through you. You feel it pricking in your chest and across your skin. You’re not wearing a bra and your tee shirt is thin. You keep your arms locked. 

You listen to him moving around. You don’t know what to do. You’re too weak to do anything. Even if you could get on the other side of the walls, you have no idea where you are. Where help could be. 

You rock as your fear bubbles up. Why is he doing this? Why does he think you want him? Why you? Of all people. You mind your business, you keep your head down, eyes to yourself... you don’t deserve this. 

You glance over at him as he starts to hum. Your lip quivers as you watch his shoulders blades stretch the fabric of his shirt. He’s a bit ridiculous in a full set of satin pajamas, the dark black speckled with a subtle grey leopard print. He’s too much. 

You turn your head straight and let it hang. You resign yourself to helplessness. You have to be logical about this. You can’t spark his suspicion to soon. You have to wait for a window and then... figure that out, you guess. You don’t like uncertainty. You have a routine and you keep to it. That’s what keeps you safe. Or so you thought. 

“...wise men say, only fools rush in...” he sings softly and you wince. The lyrics of the Elvis ballad make your skin crawl. He’s actually deranged. You don’t know him, you're strangers. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I know tree nuts are a no go,” he chimes as he whisks, turning to you with a broad smile.  

You blink at him. How does he know that? 

“Don’t think you’ll be needing any but I also got penicillin on the no go list and the latex thing... there’s alternatives,” he chuckles and you furrow your brow. “How’s that ticker doing? You been taking lots of iron?” 

Your body hollows out. How much does he know about you? How? You can guess he’s snooped around your medical records. Obviously, he’s a man with criminalistic leanings. Is this even his house? Has he taken you to a fortress he commandeered by force? Is there some terrified family bound in the basement? Is there a basement? 

He continues to futz around the kitchen as you curl your shoulders down and chew on your lips. Speaking of your heart, it’s beating again, racing, almost painfully. You’re a mouse trapped in the corner by the feline with his bristly whiskers. 

Your eyes wander over to the large windows and you stare out at the curated landscape. The property is beautiful and lush. You imagine a whole team maintains the perfectly trimmed hedges and colourful blooms. The stone mosaic pathway and the leafy archway over a bench. It’s like a dream, more so, a twisted nightmare painted in hues of fantasy. 

A plate clinks down before you and a sweet aroma brings you back inside. You face forward as Lloyd steps back on his heel, watching you with anticipation. You look at him then the plate. He pulls out a chair and plops himself down, planting his elbow as he cups his chin and watches. 

“Let me know what you think,” he insists. 

You take a breath and unlock your arms. Slowly, you drag them apart and take the thick butter knife and long fork. The cutlery feels too big for your small hands. You lean forward as the drizzle of dark syrup across the rolled crepe lures you in. Your stomach roars noisily and he giggles. 

“Aw, you must be starving,” he muses, “please eat, baby, I don’t want you to ever go hungry again.” 

You exhale through a ripple of disgust. You cut into the thin crepe and into the filling. Slice off the end of the roll and scoop it up with the filling. You carefully open your mouth around the fork and take a bite. Your eyes flit up to meet Lloyd’s as his gaze sticks on you. There are flames in his blue irises. 

You pull your mouth off the fork in embarrassment as he hums. He’s a weird, weird man. All of this is weird. Surreal. 

You look down at the butter knife and contemplate the gold cutlery. It’s heavy, it would hurt if you used the handle to give him a conk, but the blade is too dull to do much. It can slice through a crepe but wouldn’t do much on meat and bone. You don’t think you could do it, either. The thought of hurting others is just unnatural. 

“Is it good? Tried my own combination,” he explains happily, “dark chocolate syrup, not too much sugar, some softened cream cheese in the middle with black cherry jam.” 

You swallow and look around for something to wipe your lips. Short of a napkin, you lick your lip and clamp them together. He shifts in his chair, an act that makes you feel uncomfortable. 

“Good,” you croak. 

“Oh, wait,” he stands suddenly, “your coffee. Oopsie.” 

He struts away and your stomach mulches the single bite greedily. As much as you want to be stubborn, you’re so hungry. And it’s delicious. It’s better than your usual flavourless fare. You could gobble it all down in a second but you won’t. You carefully cut out another bite as he returns with a tall mug.  

He puts the cup down by your plate. You gulp down a forkful and set down the cutlery. You consider the mug before you take it, the white porcelain marked with the golden outline of a rose above the letter ‘Mrs.’. He has another in his hands, black but with a bowtie above ‘Mr.’. What the hell? 

“Colombian dark roast. A little less caffeine so your heart won’t mind so much,” he says. 

You nod and take the cup. The thought of coffee is enough to override your agitation. You take a sip and hold back a sigh. It’s good. You hate all of this but it’s all so good. You put the cup back and return your attention to the crepes. You pause and glance up at him. He doesn’t have a plate, just his cup. 

“Oh, jellybean, you’re so sweet,” he smirks, “I gotta keep my protein up. I’ll have some eggs and a shake soon. Right now, you just worry about you.” 

You dip your chin down and focus on eating. Small bites. You don’t want to seem too greedy. You don’t want him to see how much you need this. Does he know everything? Of course, he was watching but did he know the days you spent feeling as if your stomach was eating itself? 

He pushes his hair back, trying to tidy the long strands as he watches you, “we’ll get washed up after breakfast. Then you can get settled in and relax. I’ll take care of everything else, alright? You just need to get all dolled up when the time comes,” he explains as he drags his fingertip around the tabletop, “not that you need to do very much.” 

You just chew. What can you say or do? This man is straight up crazy. Not only are you his prisoner, he’s been stalking you. It doesn’t matter when it started, look where it’s ended. No, this can’t be the end. 

“What’s...” you speak before you can think. You shake your head and smother your question with another bite. 

“What? Go on, sugar lips, ask me anything? You wanna know my favourite colour? My favourite song?” His cheeks tint pink as he plays with a button on his pajamas. 

You clear your throat and put down the fork and knife, “what’s going on... later?” 

He tilts his head curiously. 

“The... dress and... doll up?” You repeat his words flatly. 

“That’s a surprise,” he trills as if it should be obvious. “Don’t wanna spoil it, do we?” 

“I guess,” you sit back and fold your hands in your lap. 

“You don’t gotta think about anything, sweet cheeks. You leave the thinking to me. I’m gonna take care of you,” he avows as his hand stretches across the front of his satin shirt. “You just gotta be you.” 

You feel his gaze bearing down on you. You peek up to find his eyes slipping down and you feel them centre on your tee shirt, your nipples poking against the cotton. You hunch your shoulders and cross your arms again. 

“How’s the coffee, jelly bean? You like it?” He tears his attention from your chest. 

“Good, thank you,” you murmur. 

“Ugh, I love hearing your voice,” he puts his coffee down and reaches between his legs. You blanch as he drags his chair closer as he lifts himself. He puts his hand on your knee, stroking with his thumb, “will you call me ‘honey’?” 

You stare at him. Your cheek draw tight and your lips flatten. You want to shake off his touch and scream but that foggy glaze in his eyes deters you. This man is wild. 

“Okay, er,” you gulp tightly and cough, “honey.” 

He hums into a sigh and his hand slips higher on your leg before trail back down, “oh,” he shakes his shoulders, “that tingles. Do it again.” 

You fight not to let your true emotion blaze through. You hug yourself tighter and bite down before you can muster the word, “honey.” 

“Oh, baby, that’s nice,” he winks and sits back, eyes grazing up and down your body, “you cold? You’re all twisted up like a pretzel.” 

You nod. It's an excuse you’ll gladly take. 

“Why didn’t you say something sooner, jellybean?” He stands suddenly and you notice the way he tugs on the waistband of his pants. You turn your head, blurring your vision so everything around you is vague. 

He rushes off and you wait. You don’t know what else to do. You’re still too weak to make a move. Whatever he gave you is potent. Or maybe, you’re just too scared to do more than shrink and surrender. 

He returns with a fluffy purple robe in his hands. He comes around the back of your chair and you lean forward to let him drape it around you. He curls his hands over your shoulders and bends over you. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. 

“You need more coffee, baby cakes?” He asks as he kneads your shoulders. 

“Still working on it,” you pull away from him and grab the cup, “thank you...” you let the words dangle in the silence, tension piquing, “honey.” 

He sighs and draws away with a tickle up your neck, “mmm, isn’t this wonderful?” 

[luvtak]

baby i'm yours, lee felix

✧ pairing lee felix x gn!reader

✧ genre/tw fluffy fluff! kinda hurt/comfort, reader has a migraine and felix is a little lovebug as always, too many petnames, kissing and sleepy cuddles

✧ w/c 1000

✧ a/n something small inspired by my own migraines, i hope anyone who relates starts to feel better and feels comforted by the sweetest boy <3 title is after this song it reminds me of him 💗

The house is filled with sound, circling around the space with laughter and music and video game noise. Lively melodies of boyishness, teasing and yelling; roughhousing so loud you’re sure the neighbors can hear.

The house is filled with sound, all except for your place in Felix’s room. Behind the door it’s silent, no sound but your gentle breath hitting his skin. He’s always so warm, a space heater personified, heating you everywhere his star-studded skin touches. You can feel his smile moving across your neck, placing soft little kisses on his path from your clavicle to your throat, all the way up to the side of your mouth.

“Feeling better?” he asks, his voice is gruff from lack of use and his eyes are light when they meet yours. His question seems more like a wish than an inquiry, he always worries when you get these headaches. Pain throbbing underneath your eyes and inside your temples, sometimes you feel so sick, nausea begins to accompany the migraine, and the only thing your boyfriend can do is wrap you up in his arms and his blankets and hope for the best.

You both know it’s easier to cure these moments away from the boy’s dorm. The cozy quiet of your apartment is much better suited to comfort the constant pounding, but there’s something magic to the noise. A curious familiarity surrounds the home, in some ways it reminds you of being a little kid and going to bed to the sounds of your parents still awake. A memory from an easier life, a moment trapped in time, but relived in these hurtful days inside this room.

“Just a little, I’m sorry I’m not very fun right now.” Your voice is a whisper, and your eyes are still squinted shut, but you hope your words are enough to convince him to stop worrying.

“Don’t be sorry, my love, I’m having a blast laying here with you.” Felix’s grin is sunlight, as bright and pretty as the rest of him, and you think it doesn’t matter if he’s lying—your head is already starting to ease just from the sight of your starshine boy smiling down at you.

His hands are in your hair and his smile is on your forehead, and you think you’ll be better in a few minutes. When you came over you had plans to watch movies and play Mario Kart with the rest of the boys, and maybe in just a few more minutes you can. You can almost envision it, opening up your eyes to a clear head and telling Felix that you feel so much better, joining the rest of the dorm in their night of laughter instead of this sickly quiet you currently inhabit.

You can tell your boyfriend doesn’t mind, he’s always happy to take care of you, but you’re sorry that another fun night has become the opposite.

“Really, Lixie, Go have fun with the boys… I can do all this by myself.” You don’t want him to go, but you need him not to feel trapped. Popping one eye open, you can tell what he thinks about that offer—if the slight squint of his eyes having anything to do with his emotions, he must think you’re crazy for even posing it as an option.

“And what? Sit in the living room with people I see every day instead of lying here with you? Are you insane?” He’s laughing as he says it, and his arms escape from your hair to gently play with your fingers. “You must be, my crazy little love… where does it hurt?”

His touch is light as a feather, pulling at your hands and rubbing up and down your arms. The skin to skin contact makes you shiver, even after all this time all it takes is a few gentle touches to start up the butterflies in your belly. You tell him about the pain under your eyes, huffing and whining when his body moves too much atop yours, but you stop as soon as his lips land softly on your eyelid; pressing down gentle and tender where the pain started.

“A kiss to make it feel better, okay baby?” Even through the pain his voice (so deep and quiet in the dark room) makes you smile. So typical of him, to be as sweet and sugary as the treats he cooks up. A boy who grew up on kiss cures and tickle fights, what a blessing to have him lay with you in the dark.

You’ve been smitten with him from the first time he shot his shiny smile at you, in love with each picture perfect piece of him. With hands grasping out to hold his, you kiss wherever you can reach: his shoulder first than the divot of his adams apple, all the way up to his uplifting lips.

“I love you, sweet boy… thank you for being with me.” You can’t tell if you mean here in the moment, or just in general, but either way it’s true. You’ll never stop being grateful for his place in your life, a light in the darkness and a heart to hold you when you don’t feel good.

He kisses you again instead of a response, slow and closed mouthed—desperately trying to express his feelings in all the ways he knows how.

“I love you too, you know I do.” He rolls off you, tucking you just underneath his chin; keeping you as close as possible. Legs on legs and hands clasped together, you can’t seem to find where you begin and he finishes—you’re as close as you could be with your warm pajamas on.

Everything is burning up, his skin and your love for him. So, cozy you can’t help but feel your eyes flutter close again. This close you can hear all his sounds, his heartbeat and his breath, and his sweet voice like a lullaby lulling you to sleep.

© luvtak

[kkyaka]

Summary: You meet new friends your second year of college, but the hot art major is the one who really catches your eye

Pairing: Sero Hanta x black!fem!reader

Word Count: 31,865 (😐)

Warnings: college!au, sero's an art major, lots of flirting, reader is seriously crushing on sero, reader is kinda innocent, mentions of light partying, drinking, and weed, reader gets drunk, lots of fluffy moments, sero's whipped for you, confession of feelings, reader has doubts about sero's feelings, date night at the fair, public indecency kinda (sero feels you up in the ferris wheel), you and sero shower together at one point, kinda a lot of smut lmfao, fingering (f), sero's kinda got a corruption and innocence kink, handjob, tit fondling, tit sucking, oral (f + m), thigh fucking, reader's a virgin, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, "just the tip", squirting, little bit of dirty talk on sero's part, trapping sorta (reader doesn't let sero pull out), sero's a smug bastard and a HUGE flirt, lemme know if I missed anything!

A/N: I honestly do not know how I managed to write all of this, but I was having the time of life doing so lmfao. Lowkey writing with my clit on this one 💀, and this was high key based on this fanart. Another fic of mine that has made its way to the top of my favorites lmfao. Thank you for reading and reblogs are greatly appreciated! And happy new year!

You were already entering your second year of college, and you hadn’t really done much that would classify as living the “college experience.” Your life was pretty monotonous; waking up, going to class, doing homework, and studying. You’ve made a couple of friends, but you don’t hang out with them very often unless all of you are free.

That doesn’t bother you very much, you’ve never been a social butterfly in the first place anyway. You like your roommate, but you don’t see her that often because she’s usually staying with her boyfriend most of the time. You don’t really mind since that means you can have your own peace and quiet when you go home, but sometimes, on the days when you don’t have anything to do, you wish you had more to do with your time.

The second semester is underway, and you’re heading to your second class of the day. You get there pretty early since you don’t know where the classroom is, and you get there right as the class before yours gets out. You wait for the people to file out before you walk in, trying to see what seat would be the best to sit at.

The classroom isn’t that big, not really being as big as a lecture hall, so you’re expecting this class to be on the smaller side, and you pick a seat on the inside of the row further towards the back of the room. There are a few other people in the room that got here early just like you did, and you set your backpack beside you before pulling your laptop out. 

The class starts to pile in as the time for the class to start gets closer, and as you're pulling up your notes for the class, you can see someone sitting in the row next to you in your peripheral, but you don’t pay attention to them. It would’ve been worse if they sat directly next to you. 

“I love your shoes,” you hear right as the professor walks in, and you turn to look at the person that sat next to you.

“Oh, thank you,” you say warmly, sticking your foot out a bit as you look down at your shoes. 

“This is my second time taking this class,” she tells you making you frown a little.

“Really? Is it hard?” you ask cautiously.

“That or I just didn’t pay attention well enough,” she jokes, and you laugh with her, the joke easing your worries a bit. You know this class isn’t going to be easy, but the fact that you already know someone that’s taken it makes you feel a lot better. “I’m Mina,” the pink-haired girl introduces herself, holding her hand out.

“y/n,” you introduce warmly, shaking her hand. “So, what year are you?”

“A junior,” she supplies. “You?”

“Sophmore. I could’ve taken this class last year, but I didn’t wanna deal with it yet.”

“Oh, I totally understand that,” she agrees, and the professor starts talking which signals the end of your conversation. Since this class is so short, the professor already went over the syllabus before class started, so she got into the content right away. You had already downloaded the slides on your tablet, writing any other notes she mentions as she talks.

Luckily, the class doesn’t feel like it lasts long, and that could be because the professor talked so fast. Once she dismisses the class, everyone starts packing up, and Mina turns to you once the both of you stand.

“So, are you done for the day?”

“Yeah! This was my last class of the day, so I’m free.”

“You wanna get lunch?” she asks as you both put your backpacks on. You give her an enthusiastic confirmation, and you follow her out of the room. You get to know each other more as you walk to get food, and she looks down at her phone before she turns back to you. “My friends are going to be joining us if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, of course,” you reply, not minding meeting more people. You both are the first ones to sit down at a table, and she tells you that her friends are on the way. You fill the time with talking about classes and finding out each other's majors.

Denki is the first of her friends that you meet, and you’re nearly overwhelmed by his bright personality. You all make conversation, finding yourself laughing at most of the jokes he cracks. Jirou’s in tow, and they sit by Mina. She tells Mina that another one of their friends will be here soon, and you wonder how they’ll be. Denki and Jirou are really friendly, so you assume that the next friend won’t be too far from that.

“Took you long enough to get here, Sero.” You’re looking down at your phone when you hear Jirou speak, so you look up to see who they are, and your face falls just a little. The last thing you were expecting was someone so good-looking. 

“Yeah, yeah. My professor ran over,” he supplies, and you can’t take your eyes off of him. His hair is half up, half down, the bun of his hair sitting right above his neck, and you can see a sliver of a tattoo on his neck that disappears underneath his jacket.

“Well, since you’re here now, you can meet my new friend.” She gestures to you, telling him your name, and the smile he gives you is enough to render you speechless. 

“Hey, I’m Sero,” he says, even though you already know that, and you almost don’t shake his hand because you’re so focused on looking at him. 

“Hi,” you manage, internally groaning at how that’s all you can manage. He looks at you for a little while after you speak, his other friends are already engrossed in their own conversation. You try to think of something to say to fill the silence, but he beats you to it, pointing to the chair next to you.

“You mind?” he questions, and you shake your head, gesturing quickly for him to take the seat. He sheds his jacket, and you can see that the tattoo on his neck goes down further, once again being hidden by the shirt he’s wearing. Which hugs his body like no other, might you add. You swallow thickly as you look over his torso, your eyes catching another tattoo running down his arm.

He catches you looking at it, laughing softly as he sits down next to you. He pulls his sleeve up his impressive arm, moving his arm toward you so you can see it better. “Got it recently,” he tells you, and he grabs your hand. “You can touch it if you want.” You ignore the tingles that go up your arm, letting him guide your hand, and you softly run your fingers over the ink.

“It’s beautiful,” you admire, looking at the veins and flowers that flow over his skin. 

“Yeah, that makes two of you.” You jump a little at his words, looking up at him, and you can’t stop how warm your face grows. 

“Ah, um, thanks,” you mutter, wanting to slap your forehead. “Do you have any others?” you find yourself asking, still getting over the compliment.

“Yeah,” he starts, pulling his shirt down a little, so you can see the rest of the tattoo on his neck. “I’d have to take my shirt off to show you all of it, but,” he adds. “And I got a couple more.” You nod at his words, your eyes still lingering more on his physique than the tattoo. “You got any?”

“Uh, yeah,” you start, and you sweep your hair over your shoulder, turning a bit so he can see it. “It’s a matching tattoo I got with my sisters,” you explain, and you flinch a little when you feel his fingers run over it.

“Sorry,” he chuckles. “Shoulda asked first.”

“No, it’s okay. It just surprised me.” When his fingers leave your skin, you take that as a sign to face him again. “I want one on my spine the most,” you tell him, and you see his eyes flash, but then it looks like he rethinks what he was going to say.

“Really? Why there?”

“I just think it’ll look really cool, honestly,” you laugh, rubbing your hand over where his fingers once were.

“Yeah, it would.” He rests his arm on the back of your chair, his whole body facing toward you, and you’re practically gushing from the attention. It doesn’t seem like his friends are paying you any attention, and you continue your conversation. You talk to Sero most of the time, and it’s kind of hard to keep up since he keeps hitting you with sudden compliments, and each time you giggle. You feel like that’s exactly what he’s going for because he looks proud of himself every time you do.

You glance over to where everybody else is sitting, and to your surprise, they’re gone. “When did they leave?”

“Yeah, they always do that,” Sero responds. “I’m still here, though.”

“Right,” you laugh, holding back a shiver when he runs a finger up and down your arm.

“You doing anything for the rest of the day?” he asks and you shake your head.

“Not really. Just mentally preparing myself for all of the assignments I’m gonna have soon.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Your major’s more taxing than mine,” he says after he laughs quietly. You found out that Sero’s an art major, which really wasn’t a surprise, and he showed you some of his work which was probably the best thing you’ve laid your eyes on; besides the artist, of course. “Well, if you wanna head to the library or whatever, I won’t mind.”

“I’m probably just gonna head home honestly. The day’s been pretty eventful,” you say, and honestly, this is the most social interaction you’ve had in a long time.

“Mina is capable of drawing out a lot in people,” Sero sighs. “I’ll walk you home if that’s okay.” You don’t want to end your conversation with Sero just yet, and he definitely doesn’t need to walk you home, but you let him do it anyway. 

When you stand, you can finally see how much he towers over you. You try not to pay so much attention to it, but he’s basically in your space the entire time you walk back to your dorm, so you really have no choice but to. When you get to your dorm, you feel kind of upset that it’s about to end so soon, and you think Sero can see it on your face.

“I’ll see you around,” he says when you stop walking. “You’re basically a part of our friend group now,” he continues before he leans down to your face. “So, we’ll meet again soon.” He flashes you a smile, winking at you before he walks away, and you put your hand on your chest when you feel your heart racing, taking a deep breath before you walk into your dorm.

The more the semester goes on, the more time you spend with your new friends, and you start to wonder if Sero’s flirty mannerisms are just a part of his personality. He seems to have them dialed up whenever he talks to you, and there’s not a part of you that hates it. Once you all learned about each other’s schedules, you started hanging out with whoever was free whenever none of you had class. 

Most of the time it’s with Sero, who always manages to find the most peaceful places on campus. He claims it’s the best way to find inspiration, and you could honestly listen to him talk for hours. His voice always sounds so nice to your ears, and there have been too many times when you’ve zoned out while he’s talking, caught up in looking at his face. 

You’re sitting outside since it’s so nice today, and you’re sitting on a blanket with Sero as you talk. Since the semester is in full swing, you’re mostly studying as you talk to him, turning to look at him as you talk every now and then. Once you’ve decided that you’ve done enough work for now, you put some of it away, and you chuckle softly as you put it in your backpack.

“Why are you staring at me, Sero?” you question, turning to look at him once you’re done.

“Cause I’m drawing,” he says warmly, smiling at you.

“Well, you can’t stare at me if you’re drawing.”

“I can be if you’re the one I’m drawing,” he counters smoothly, and that gets you to stop talking for a bit. “You’re really pretty, it would be a crime not to draw you.” Your smile widens, glancing away from him as your face heats up. 

He gets up from the blanket, walks over to one of the many flower bushes that are in bloom, and he picks one off the bush. “Sero, you can’t just do that,” you scold lightly, and he shrugs as he walks back to you.

“It’s in the name of art,” he drawls, and you roll your eyes as he sits back down next to you, and he guides you to look at him with his fingers on your chin. “See? Look.” He moves your hair back behind your ear with his hand before sliding the flower behind it, his fingers lingering on your face before they fall away. “Beautiful,” he whispers, and you’re having such a hard time holding his eyes, wanting to look away bashfully. 

“You’re such a sweet-talker,” you muse, and he slides closer to you, sweeping some of your hair over your shoulder.

“Only to pretty girls like you.” Your cheeks are hurting so bad from smiling, and you swear the sun gets a bit brighter, but you don’t want to tell yourself it’s just because the clouds aren’t hiding the sun anymore. “You wanna see what I drew?” You nod quietly and he hands you his notebook.

You can’t find any words as you look through it, seeing it filled with any and everything. Your movements slow when you flip the page, seeing both sides filled with pictures of you. You chuckle softly when you see that most of the pages after that are just you. “You don’t draw anything else?” you ask him.

“Not when you’re the best thing my eyes have seen.” You laugh at that, not knowing what to say to that at all.

“What? So, I’m like your muse or something?” you finally manage to ask.

“Definitely,” he answers quickly. “My professor has nothing but good things to say about what I’ve submitted, and I have you to thank for that.”

“Well, I’m glad I could help your grade,” you jest, and he grabs your hand.

“Lemme draw you something,” he says softly, and you move your hand further into his to give him the ok. He uncaps the marker he has in his other hand, and he slides his hand up to your wrist, lifting it up to place a soft kiss on your skin. The action nearly has you squirming, and he smirks, giving you a quick glance before drawing on your skin. 

You watch him, wondering what he’s gonna draw, and you giggle a bit as he does, claiming it tickles. He pushes your head to the side softly, saying that he doesn’t want you to see it yet, and you laugh softly but look somewhere else anyway. When he’s finished, you look back down, seeing that it’s the flower that he put in your hair. It’s got so much detail, and he softly blows on it to make sure it’s dry.

You softly run your finger over it, and he grabs your wrist again. He kisses over the ink before gently rubbing his finger over it. “What was that for?”

“To make it last a little longer,” he tells you, and you chuckle looking down at it again. 

“It’s beautiful, Sero. You’re really talented.” 

“Why, thank you,” he muses before he lays back down, and this time he pulls you with him. You lay beside him, shielding your eyes from the sun as you look at the clouds. You can feel him brushing his fingers over the back of your hand as he starts to talk about what the clouds look like. And you get lost in the conversation, feeling like time slows down as you make out everything you can see.

~

You’re walking out of your class with Mina when you catch a familiar face, and you smile as Sero walks up to the both of you. He gravitates to your side, walking with you both as you leave the building. He only walks with you for a little, having another class to get to, and he sends you another wink with a promise to talk to you later before he walks away.

You look down at your feet as you walk, biting your lip to try and hide your smile. “So, what do you think of Sero?” Mina suddenly asks, and you snap your head toward her, looking like a deer in headlights.

“What do you mean?” you ask, barely managing to not stutter over your words.

“You know what I mean,” she presses playfully, nudging your shoulder with her elbow gently. “Something tells me you’ve got a crush.”

Your cheeks flood with heat, pressing your hand to your face quickly. “I dunno. He’s really cool,” you respond lamely.

“Oh, I think you think he’s more than cool,” she teases. “It’s okay to admit you like him, girl.” 

“I guess so,” you quietly admit.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You shove her softly as she laughs, rolling your eyes. “I don’t blame you, though. He is very easy on the eyes.” You laugh as you shake your head. It’s not like that’s a lie, and you obviously like more than just his looks.

You haven’t really known him for that long, only a couple of months, but every time you talk to him it’s like you’ve known each other for longer than that. You look down at your feet again, smiling as you think about all the time you’ve spent with him. Yeah, you do like him, but you don’t really want to admit that out loud until you know how Sero feels.

It might seem weird, but you don’t want to put all this thought into admitting your feelings when he doesn’t even feel the same way. “But I still don’t know how he feels about me,” you respond, and you feel conflicted at your words because you feel like with the way he acts around you, he feels the same way you do. But there’s a part of you that’s saying that this is all an act, maybe. He might talk to other girls this way.

“Are you serious?” Mina sighs. “There’s no way you believe that.”

“I dunno. I mean, is it okay for me to assume he has feelings for me?” you question, uncertainty in your words.

“Okay, you know what?” she starts after she sighs again. You both stop in front of the building that Mina has to go into, and she turns to face you. “Sero’s having a little house party on Friday, and you will be there. I’m surprised he hasn’t told you about it yet.”

“I’m not the partying type,” you start, and she shakes her head quickly, putting her hands on your shoulders.

“Nope! You will be there, and I will be at your dorm to make sure you’re coming,” she pushes, and you know there’s no arguing, so you roll your eyes before you smile again.

“Fine! I’ll go,” you say, chuckling a bit. She cheers a little bit, bouncing on her feet, and she gives you a quick hug before walking into the building. You shake your head as you start to walk away, your thought quickly turning to think about what you’re going to wear.

Friday sneaks up on you, and you’ve been deciding what to wear for about an hour and a half. You had ideas of outfits in your head since the beginning of the week, but you never had a chance to actually pull them out and get a really good look at them. Mina calls you, and you let her into the building before walking to your room.

“Please do not tell me that’s what you’re wearing,” she says as you walk to your dorm.

“I’m stuck on what to wear,” you tell her, and she walks into what looks like your wardrobe and a tornado mixed. Since your roommate’s not here, you were using her bed to spread out some of your clothes, and you sit down at your desk as Mina looks through them.

“This is cute,” she comments, picking up a dress that you can count on one hand how many times you’ve worn. 

“I don’t know if it fits my body right, though,” you say, standing up and taking it from her, putting it up against your body.

“Okay, well, I’ll be the judge of that.” She urges you to put it on, so you change out of your clothes, slipping it on, holding your hands out when you’ve got it on. “Oh, my God, you look amazing! What do you mean you don’t know if it fits your body?”

“You really think it looks okay?” you ask, trying your hardest not to cross your arms over your body.

“Yes! You look fine! Now get your shoes on because I’ve still gotta get drinks.” You quickly put your shoes on, checking to make sure you’ve done everything you need to do before grabbing your phone and keys, and walking out with Mina.

After Mina gets the drinks, she drives over to Sero’s house, and you’re a bit surprised that her car is one of the few there when she pulls into the driveway. “I thought you said this was a house party?” you say as you get out of the car. “Are we here early?”

“This is more like a kickback than a house party,” she offers, and you walk behind her as she walks up to the door, knocking on it before opening it up. “We’re here!” she announces, and you close the door behind you, seeing Denki and Jirou along with some of their other friends. Some of the you’ve met in passing a few times, and others you find out are just friends of friends.

You quietly greet everybody, following Mina into the kitchen, so she can set her drinks down. You haven’t really drank before, so she got some seltzers for you to try. She hands you one, and when you look at it cautiously, she tells you that there’s no pressure to drink, but you decide that you only live once, so why not? 

You pop it open, take a sip, surprised at how good it tastes. You take a few more sips as Mina says that she has to go check on something really quick, and as you’re watching her walk away, Sero is walking up to you. You nearly choke on your drink, taking in his outfit right before you have a coughing fit. 

He’s wearing black jeans that practically look like a second skin, the loose button shirt he’s wearing half-tucked into his jeans with a chain hanging from two of the belt loops. Only a couple of the buttons are buttoned, leaving his toned chest on display, and your eyes catch on the chain that swings a little when he walks. 

“You came,” he says when he gets to you, immediately crowding into your space, and you don’t shy away from it.

“Yeah, Mina practically dragged me here,” you laugh, taking another sip from the can. 

“You look great,” he compliments, his eyes running down your body, and you look down at yourself, taking another swig in hopes of easing your nerves.

“Thanks,” you say after you swallow, and you suddenly get a warm feeling that runs through your veins, and you’re mostly sure it’s the alcohol. Your eyes catch the rings on his fingers as he rubs at his neck, seeing that his hair is down, some of it nearly falling into his eyes. “You look good, too.”

“Yeah?” he presses, crowding you against the counter, and your nose picks up how good he smells, and it’s almost enough to make your knees wobble. You nod, keeping the can next to your mouth as you look down to hide your smile. He picks your head back up by your chin as he lets the other hand rest on the counter next to you. “You should feel my shirt,” he offers, taking your hand in his, and his touch is making you feel like you’re on fire. You can barely focus on touching the fabric, feeling how it’s soft and silky at the same time, and in the back of your mind, you think how on-brand it would be for him to have a silk shirt.

He then guides your hand to where his chest is exposed and before you can think, you're splaying your fingers against his skin, feeling how firm it is. Your fingers tighten slightly around the can and his smirk widens. “You like what you see?” he whispers, leaning down to your face, and you wonder how long it takes for alcohol to hit your system when you’re drinking for the first time.

“Maybe,” you whisper, finally looking at him in the eyes, and you can’t keep eye contact for long, looking off to the side.

“You’re so cute,” he mumbles, letting his fingers run over your neck, and you can’t stop the shudder that runs through you. He smiles at your reaction before he grabs your hand. “C’mon, let’s go sit with everyone else.”

He pulls you away, and while he’s walking, you take another swig in hopes that it’ll settle your racing heart. It seems to do the opposite though because by the time you’re taking a seat on the couch, that warm feeling runs through you again. Everyone’s having their own conversations, none of them stopping when the two of you walk into the room, and Mina gives you a look that you just roll your eyes at.

Sero sits down on the end of the couch, pulling you with him, and you practically fall into him as you start to feel a lot more relaxed. You eventually join in on some of the conversations, actually talking and meeting Bakugou and Kirishima since you’ve only spoken to them briefly in passing. There’s music playing in the background, and you’re halfway through your seltzer when you really start to feel like you’re drunk.

You try not to draw too much attention to it, and you wonder if anyone can tell that your words are starting to slow down a bit, but if they do, they don’t say anything about it. Mina rolls a blunt, passing it around to everyone, and you refuse, feeling like getting crossed right now wouldn’t be the best idea.

You pass it to Sero, who takes a couple of hits before passing it over. You’ve finished your seltzer, and you start to lean more into Sero as Mina brings you another drink. He doesn’t seem to care when you feel his arm tighten around you, his fingers running over the exposed skin just beneath your dress. The touch starts to make you squirm a bit, and Sero smiles, giving you a look as he keeps doing it.

“How ya feeling, pretty girl?” Sero asks you, lifting your head up so that you can look at him. Everyone’s started to do their own thing, and some people have left, the main group of the bunch only remaining. 

“I’m okay,” you say softly, blinking slowly, and you smile widely even though you don’t really have a reason to. He smiles back at you, squeezing his arm to your side just a bit in a way that feels ridiculously good. 

“You want some water?” he asks quietly and you shake your head.

“No, ‘m okay,” you murmur, and he takes the drink from your hand, which you don’t protest, and he finishes it in about three swigs. 

Mina’s sitting on the other side of you now, Denki and Jirou migrating over and taking Bakugou and Kirishima’s spots on the floor. You wonder where they went, noticing that Izuku is gone as well. “Are we the only ones left?” you ask, looking up at Sero, and he nods his head towards the back door.

“The others went to get some air,” he tells you. 

“Why don’t we play Never Have I Ever?” Mina offers, and if you were sober, you would call her out on how suspicious her voice sounds, knowing that she’s up to something, but in your state, you can only focus on Sero’s body against you.

“She’s not drinking anymore,” Sero tells her.

“That’s okay. We can just use our fingers,” she offers, and you shrug, figuring that there’s nothing else to do. The questions start off pretty tame, but that doesn’t last very long, and you can feel your face growing warm at the questions the more taboo they become.

“Never have I ever used sex toys,” Mina says, and your face seems to get even warmer, but your finger doesn’t go down. “So, what do you use?” she asks you, her voice genuine. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” she adds.

“I just, um…” you start, still feeling a bit nervous to admit it even though you’ve got alcohol running through your veins. “Squeeze my legs. I’ve tried using my fingers, but it feels kinda weird.” You hide your face in Sero’s chest for a second, laughing a little before you turn to everyone else.

“Have you had sex before?” Jirou asks, prompting you to shake your head.

“I haven’t had a boyfriend before,” you admit softly.

“Really?” Mina gasps, and you nod your head, shrugging.

“I guess I just never saw someone that I liked,” you respond honestly. “But at the same time, I wasn’t really looking for one.”

“I get that,” Mina supplies. “So, you’ve never done anything?”

“Not really, I’ve just made out with a couple of guys but that’s it.” You’re not really shy to admit that since everything is out in the open now, and everyone moves on to the next question. The last of the drinking is jello shots, and you only take one since Denki made them so strong, and you can feel yourself getting drunk all over again.

The game stops a little while after, and everyone leaves to raid Sero’s kitchen which he just rolls his eyes at, and he looks down at you. “You okay?” he asks, poking at your side, and you giggle a little, nodding your head.

“Yeah,” you answer, looking up at him. You’re about to say something else, but you slowly close your mouth as you rethink it.

“What’s on your mind, baby?” You feel like you could be on cloud nine hearing him call you that, and you want to hear it again. He frowns a little when you push off of him, barely being able to stand up due to how much you’re wobbling. He keeps his hands out to make sure you don’t fall, and you stand in front of you him.

And what you do next is definitely because of the alcohol because there’s no way you would do it sober. You take his hands, moving them to the side before you straddle his lap, and his eyebrows raise high on his head, and you smile, finally being able to do something to catch him off guard.

“I really like you, Sero,” you say softly, leaning forward so that your face is barely away from his, and he huffs a little, smiling widely. He laces his fingers with yours, and you laugh softly as you ignore that voice in your head screaming what in the hell are you doing.

“Really now?” he teases and you nod quickly.

“Yeah. But I dunno if you like me,” you voice aloud.

“Don’t worry that pretty little head, sweetheart. I like you, too,” he answers, tugging a little at your dress since it’s ridden up, and you forgot that you’re not really wearing the right thing for the position you’re in. You smile widely, reeling at his answer, and you rest your forehead against his.

“Do you wanna kiss me?” you ask, and he watches you for a bit before he answers.

“Definitely. But I’m not gonna do it now.”

“Why not?” you whine, pressing your head against his a little more.

“Because I wanna make sure you know what you’re saying. You’re drunk.”

“I know what I’m saying, I promise,” you pout, and he laughs softly, moving your hands from side to side.

“I know, baby, but I don’t wanna do anything you’re not gonna like,” he presses, and your pout only deepens, and you let his and your hands fall to your sides as you sit up.

“You don’t wanna kiss me?” you ask, and he can’t help but look at you, seeing how your dress hugs every curve of your body, the end of it threatening to expose even more skin.

“Fuck,” he mutters, and you let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck, looking at him in instead. “Shit, don’t look at me like that.” He carefully sets his hands on your waist, taking a quick breath. “Of course, I wanna kiss you, just not right now.”

What he wouldn’t give to be able to touch you how he wants to, defile you in ways that would make your mind go numb, but he doesn’t he remains strong. But you’re surely but slowly breaking his will down. 

“I’ll remember it, I promise,” you try again, letting yourself fall forward, resting your face in his neck. “Just one, Hanta?” you whisper in his ear, and his fingers twitch at your sides, releasing a loud groan. 

Damn it, you smell so good, and Sero can feel himself getting lost in how your smell surrounds him. “Fuck, I gotta get you home,” he says, standing up with you in his arms. He sets you down, fixing your dress, and you’re still wearing that same pout that’s about to be his undoing. “I’ll be right back, okay?” You nod anyway, and he quickly dashes to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water before telling everyone that he’s taking you home. 

He grabs your hand to guide you to the door, and he grabs his jacket, helping you put it on before he goes to his car. He helps you buckle in before getting in himself, and the whole ride back to your dorm is just him with a tight grip on the steering wheel as he listens to you talk. You’re halfway through the bottle of water he gave you, and you think you’re sobering up since you feel a headache coming on.

You’re feeling more like yourself once he gets to your dorm, and he walks you to your dorm once you both get out of the car. “You sobering up yet?” he asks you softly, and you nod slowly, pushing at your forehead when you start to feel the pain of the headache.

“Yeah, my head’s starting to hurt.”

“Make sure you finish that and eat something, okay?” he tells you, but you don’t nod, instead you turn to him.

“I don’t think I’m drunk anymore,” you tell him, and he steps closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“You sure?” he questions cautiously.

You nod quickly, but you can definitely feel some liquid courage still running through your veins, and you wrap your arms around his neck. God, he’s so much bigger than you, it does something to you that you’ve never felt before. It also doesn’t help that his jacket practically engulfs your frame, and his smell is even stronger now that you have it on.

He moves his other hand to your body, and both of his hands rub up and down your back, making your body react way more than it should. He takes a step closer to you, and you nearly hold your breath in anticipation. “Please, Sero,” you whisper, and he smiles for a split second, slowly letting his head come down to yours.

Right as you try to kiss him, he pulls away slightly, and you groan softly, tightening your arms around his neck so that he can’t go any further. What you were gonna say to him gets lost because his lips are suddenly on yours, and you’re glad his arms tighten around you because you swear you’re about to fall.

It feels like fireworks have been set off as you kiss him, feeling like the world has stopped. You hear something, and it takes you a while to realize that it’s coming from you, a moan slipping from you that he swallows. He groans as he deepens the kiss, pulling you into him until he can’t anymore. 

You’re nearly on your toes because of how tall he is, and you wish this moment would never end, but it does shortly after, and you feel yourself chasing after Sero when he pulls away. “You okay?” he teases, seeing how hard you’re breathing, the glossy look in your eyes making him want to stay.

You nod, and he easily lets you pull him toward you again, kissing him just as hard until you have to pull away to catch your breath. You want to tell him that your roommate isn’t here, but you feel like that might be too fast, and the other part of your body screams at you for being an idiot.

“Text me when you get into your room, okay?” 

“Okay,” you giggle, feeling giddy and like you’re on top of the world. “Text me when you get home,” you add, and he kisses you again quickly. Fuck, he’s got to leave before he gets ahead of himself. “See you later, Hanta,” you say warmly.

“I’ll see you soon, baby.”

You watch him get into his car and drive off before you go into your building, and you’re so tired that you don’t bother to change out of your clothes, only taking your shoes and socks off. You text Sero before you lay down, and you fall asleep almost immediately, but not without a smile on your face.

~

The first thing you think when you wake up is that the after-effects of drinking absolutely suck ass. You groan at the headache you feel, and you’re about two steps from throwing up. You grab your phone to see what time it is, and that’s when you see a text from Sero.

Good morning, beautiful

Text me when you get this

You smile at it, texting him back as you wonder if you have any pain medicine in your dorm. You set your phone on your bed, getting up slowly so you don’t throw up last night’s dinner, and you start your search. As you’re looking, you’re remembering everything that happened last night, and you feel embarrassed about how you acted at Sero’s house.

You stop in your tracks, letting your face fall in your hands as you think about you nearly pounced on him last night, a loud groan following as you think about it. But then you’re immediately smiling when you think about how the night ended, and your embarrassment is subsided a little. Before you can start looking again, you get a text. You grab your phone, seeing that it’s Sero, and you panic a little when he tells you that he’ll be over in about twenty minutes.

You dash to the bathroom, brush your teeth, get in the shower and fix your hair, and put on some clean clothes. Right as you finish putting lotion on, he texts you that he’s here. You take a deep breath, to calm both the nerves and the nausea, and you head downstairs.

When you walk outside, he’s standing there with food in his hand, and you sigh at the sight of it. You hug him when you get to him, and he hands you the food as he leans down to kiss you softly. “You sleep well?” he asks, and you nod, looking in the bag to see what he got you.

He follows you to your dorm, and you’re glad that you cleaned all of your clothes before leaving last night. He sits with you on your bed as you eat, and you nearly moan when you finally start eating, totally forgetting to last night since you were so tired.

“Is your head hurting?” Sero asks, and you nod, balling the bag up once you’re done eating.

“I haven’t had time to find my pain medicine,” you tell him, and he pulls out a bottle from his pocket.

“I brought it just in case.” You smile, grabbing it from him and taking the medicine. Once you swallow the pills, you throw your trash away before finding your spot next to him on your bed. You don’t know if you should talk about what happened last night or what the events could mean, but Sero starts talking as you think. “So, what do you remember from last night?”

“Everything,” you admit honestly, biting your lip as you once again think about how you acted last night. “Sorry about how I acted. I don’t know what came over me,” you apologize, and he chuckles softly, opening his body toward you.

“Don’t apologize,” he starts, “it was nice to see that shy side of you disappear.” You laugh a bit, putting your face in your hands anyway, figuring it’s going to take a while for you to finally get over your embarrassment. “But, you’re also really cute when you’re shy,” he whispers, pulling your hands from your face.

“Do you really like me?” you find yourself asking, ignoring his previous words even though your face is about to catch on fire.

“Yeah, I do,” he states. “I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.” He’s so close to you, and you want to kiss him again, but now that the alcohol isn’t in your veins anymore, you don’t know if you can bring yourself to do it. “What are you gonna do about that?” he questions, and for a brief second, you wonder what he’s talking about, but then it dawns on you. 

You carefully lean forward, softly planting your lips on his. You feel the same way you felt last night, those feelings are even stronger now that you know your feelings are reciprocated. He lets his hand rest on your cheek, deepening the kiss just a little before he smiles. “Your roommate coming back?”

“She moved out,” you answer quickly and his smile widens.

“Good.” He kisses you again, shifting your body so that you can fully lay down on the bed, and you revel in the feeling of his weight on top of you. He laces his fingers with yours before moving them above your head as he gently lets his tongue touch your lips. You easily let him in, finding yourself moaning again as his tongue swirls with yours. 

Your heart is racing as your body heats up, feeling overwhelmed already from just kissing him. You slide your hands out of his so that you can wrap your arms around his neck, wanting to feel more of him on you. His fingers run under your shirt now that they’re free, and a deep shudder runs through your body when his fingertips ghost over your skin. 

He pulls away, kissing under your chin and down your neck, and you don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on in your life. Your stomach caves in a little when he runs his big hands over it, and you want him to do more, but he doesn’t, keeping his lips on your skin.

“Hanta,” you whisper.

He lifts his head up to look at you, smiling at the look on your face, but his hands don’t stop moving. “What’s up?” You don’t know if you’ll be able to voice out loud what you want, biting your lip a little as you look off to the side. He uses one of his hands to guide your eyes back to his, and your fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Talk to me, baby. What d’ya want?”

“More,” you mumble after a while, and he raises a playful eyebrow at you. You don’t think he heard you at first since he doesn’t respond right away, but he speaks before you can think to say anything again.

“More what?” he presses, and you’re pretty sure he knows what you mean, but he makes no move to prove that. “I’m no mind reader, sweetheart,” he muses, and you pout a little, trying to get the courage to tell him what you want.

“I want you to touch me,” you try, and his fingers push against your skin lightly.

“I’m already doin’ that.” Your frown deepens, and you want to wipe that grin off his face.

You huff softly. “I want you to touch me more,” you eventually say, and you hope he gives in because you don’t know if you can say anymore, your face feeling like it’s about to be on fire. 

“More how?” he questions softly, and he moves his hands up your torso slowly, his fingers reaching under your bra. You nearly jump when his fingers brush over the underside of your boob, and you slightly push your chest up into his touch. 

He sits up suddenly, and you fight the urge to whine at the loss of heat as he pushes your shirt up lazily. It’s like he’s moving in slow motion, starting at your stomach again before running his fingers up and over your bra. “You want me to touch you more here?” he asks, putting a little bit of pressure on the fabric where your nipple is, and you jump at the sudden stimulation, nodding your head as you stay silent.

He uses both of his hands to run over your nipples, but the barrier between your skin and his fingers makes you even more frustrated. “Hanta,” you huff.

“What? You told me to.”

“You’re not touching me,” you argue softly. “You can take it off,” you manage, and you almost stumble over your words, surprised that you can even get them out.

“Can I now?” he teases, but he moves his hands under you to unhook your bra, and he helps you take your shirt off before sliding the straps off your arms and letting it fall to the floor. He’s just staring at you, and you can’t help but squirm as his silence goes on.

“What?” you whisper, moving your arms to try and hide, but he quickly catches them, moving back down to the bed.

“You’re so beautiful, that’s what,” he eventually says, and you would cover your face if you could.

“Oh,” you say timidly.

“I can touch you, right?” he asks, and you nod quickly, feeling like he’s been teasing you this whole time. “Use your words, baby.”

“Y-Yes, Hanta.” His hands are soft against your skin when he touches you again, gently massaging your chest before his fingers run over the hardened peaks, and you jump against your will, moaning softly.

“You’re so sensitive,” he whispers, applying a bit more pressure before he lets his head fall to your chest. You can’t help but moan again when you feel his tongue swirl around one, continuing the stimulate the other one by rolling it between his fingers.

You start to squirm at the sudden pleasure, never experiencing this feeling before, and it almost feels overwhelming. You feel your breath getting caught in your chest when he switches, kissing your skin in between as he goes. Your fingers slide into his hair like you’re trying to find an outlet to try and release how good you’re feeling. 

Sero can only smile against you as he feels you moving under him, lifting his head up as he lets the sounds you’re making fill his ears. When he makes eye contact with you, you look away, fighting the urge to cover your eyes. He puts his mouth on you again while his other hand trails down your body, and he hooks his fingers underneath the waistband of your shorts.

The movement has you jolting a bit, and he lifts his head up to look at you again. “Is this okay?” he whispers, and when you hesitate to answer, he’s sitting up a bit, moving until he’s hovering over you. He laces his fingers with yours before he kisses you softly.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do. We can go as fast or as slow as you want,” he reassures.

“I’m just nervous,” you mumble.

“It’s okay to be nervous,” he reassures. “But just say the word right now, and we’ll stop, and we can do something else.”

“We can keep going,” you start. “And you can take them off.”

“You sure?” You nod quickly, and he doesn’t push you to speak, kissing you again instead. You feel his hands ghost down your sides, and when he gets to your shorts, you tense up against your will. “Relax, baby,” he whispers against your lips, and he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. “Can you breathe for me?”

He takes a deep breath in that you copy, following him when he breathes back out. You’re not as tense as you were before, but he can still feel it. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, pretty girl. We don’t have to rush anything, we got all the time in the world.” 

“What if I don’t like it?” you find yourself asking. You don’t think that’s really going to be the case, but there’s something that’s stopping you, and you’re trying to figure out why.

“Then I’ll stop, and we can do something else,” he repeats, and you know that you don’t want to stop. You take another deep breath, allowing yourself to fully relax. “I’m not gonna do anything that’s gonna hurt you or anything you don’t want.”

You hold his gaze for a bit before you give him a small nod. “...okay.”

“So, what do you wanna do?”

“I wanna keep going,” you answer softly. “I’m sure, I’m just in my head a little,” you admit.

“Just let me know if you wanna stop at any time, okay?” he tells you again, and he smiles at you when you nod. You lift your head up just a bit, and you don’t need to say anything, Sero already leaning down to meet your lips. You sigh softly into the kiss when you feel his hands at your chest again, letting the pleasurable feeling keep your body relaxed.

Now that you’re feeling a bit better, you’re eager for Sero to touch you more, moving your hips just a little in hopes that he gets the hint. You don’t know if it works, but you feel one of his hands move down until it hits your shorts. He waits a little bit for any shift in your body language, and when he doesn’t feel anything that raises concern, he grabs the waistband of your shorts.

You lift your legs up to help him take off your shorts, and he lets them fall out of his hands as his eyes land on you again. He’s just staring at you, and you can’t close your legs because his hands are on your legs, keeping them open.

“W-Why are you staring at me?” you ask, gripping the sheets in your hand by your sides.

“Cause you’re so pretty, baby. Why else would I?” he answers, but he doesn’t look you in the eyes when he does. “All of you is so pretty,” he whispers, and he shifts so that his face is closer to your pussy. “Can I touch you?” 

You tense again just a little, but this time in anticipation, finding yourself taking another deep breath. “Yes.” You’re nearly breathless, and you don’t even know why, and he rubs over your legs, gasping a little when they go towards the crease where your thighs meet your hips.

“Just relax, baby. I’ll make you feel good, don’t worry.” He lays down so that his chest is fully on the bed, and he continues to rub over your skin while he kisses down your thighs. He grabs your legs so that they sit on his shoulders, and you watch as he leans in closer to you, closing his eyes before taking a deep breath in, the action making your face flame. “God, you smell so good,” he mumbles against your skin, his nose in your bush, and you don’t even know if you’d be capable of saying anything due to how flustered you are.

You jump when he suddenly licks at your clit, your surprise only making you gasp. He does it again, and this time you moan, feeling his hands tighten around your thighs when you start moving. Once he starts, he doesn’t stop, his tongue never leaving you, and you try to bite your lip to conceal the noises you’re making, hearing how loud you’re getting.

When he pulls away, you think he’s giving you a break, but not even seconds after his tongue leaves you, he rubs his thumb over your clit. Your toes curl, feeling your body move into the pleasure at the same time it’s trying to move away from it. He rubs his fingers through your folds as he continues to circle at your clit, and your hands are starting to hurt by how tight you're gripping your sheets.

“You okay with me touching you more?” he asks, and you nod quickly, more caught up in your enjoyment than his words. You jolt when you feel his finger prod at your hole, and your body tenses up again without a second thought. “Just relax. I got you,” he reassures, rubbing over your thigh again. 

As he pushes his finger inside of you, he keeps his eyes on you, but you let your head fall back, feeling your brain being split between focusing on relaxing and the new feeling of your walls being stretched. “You okay?” 

You can only let out a breathy answer, giving him enough to let him know that he can keep going. You can’t really tell how wet you are, but the fact that you can hear his finger sliding in and out of you is enough to tell you. The feeling of you being stimulated from the inside feels foreign and a little weird, but it’s outweighed by how good it feels.

Sero puts his mouth back on your clit as he slides in another finger, and you wince a little at the burn you feel from the stretch, but it doesn’t last long because he curls his fingers, pressing firm on your walls. You let out a surprised yelp that delves into a moan, a bit embarrassed that you made the noise, and you cover your face as the squelching gets louder.

You can hear Hanta moving, feeling his finger rubbing at your clit again as he starts to speed up his fingers inside of you. Your moans become uncontrollable when it starts to feel like he’s reaching into the deepest part of you, and your arm slides over your mouth. He’s quick to pull your arm away, and he guides your face to his with his fingers on your chin.

“Look at me, sweetheart,” he whispers, and it takes you a moment, but you eventually do, even if your eyes want to close because of how good he’s making you feel. “Why you hiding from me?”

“B-Because,” you try, softly grabbing onto his wrist when you feel your pleasure starting to mount. “I sound weird,” you rush out, your mouth falling open as your eyes slip closed.

“Weird?” Sero muses, a sly grin appearing on his face. “You sound like music to my ears.” He leans down to kiss you, tasting yourself on his tongue, and he swallows every sound you’re making. He slides one of his legs to the side, pushing it into yours when your legs start moving a bit too much for his liking.

You pull away when it seems like he’s going even deeper inside of you, and that’s when you start to feel it. You can’t really explain it, but in the back of your head, it kind of worries you, and your grip on Sero’s wrist tightens. “H-Hanta, w-wait,” you moan even though he doesn’t stop, but you don’t think you want him to. “I f-feel weird.”

“Is that a good weird or bad weird?” he questions playfully.

“I d-don’t k-know,” you whine, feeling tears at your lash line, and you throw your head back onto your pillows, words the last thing you want to try and form. 

“It’s okay, baby. Just let it happen,” he coaxes softly, and you can barely hear him, only really hearing your heartbeat in your ears. It feels like something’s building up right below your tummy, and this is something you’ve never felt before. It’s honestly starting to scare you, but focusing on Hanta’s words helps that feeling diminish.

You finally start to figure out what it feels like, but you don’t think you can warn him in time. “Hanta!” That’s the last thing you can get out, feeling whatever was building up snap quickly. Your back arches off the bed, your moans so loud, you’re pretty confident that your neighbors could hear you, but right now, you don’t give a fuck.

Your legs tremble violently, but Sero keeps moving his fingers, moving with you so that he can do so. You quickly push at his hand as you roll onto your side, feeling like you’re completely overwhelmed by the sensitivity. He finally gives you some peace, sliding his fingers out of you, and you’re breathing like you just ran a marathon. 

You roll back onto your back, letting your legs stay open since your core is so sensitive, and when you look down, you see that not only your sheets are soaked, but so is Hanta. You quickly remember that feeling you had right before you came, and embarrassment swallows you whole. Your face falls, and you immediately put your hands over your face, but you can’t roll over and hide like you want to because Hanta’s in between your legs.

“What’s wrong, baby?” you hear him ask, but all you can do is shake your head, wanting a giant hole to swallow you up right now. “Are you okay?”

You jump when you feel his hand on your thigh. “I can’t believe I just did that,” you whisper, and it’s loud enough that Hanta can hear it.

“Did what? Squirt?” You freeze a bit before you slowly let your hands fall from your face.

“What?” He carefully sits you up by pulling you by your arm before he kisses you softly, having a hard time concealing his chuckle.

“You squirted, sweetheart. You didn’t pee on me,” he explains, and he really can’t hide his laugh. “It’s totally natural.”

“O-Okay,” you murmur, and he kisses you again, deepening it a bit.

“And it was really hot,” he whispers against your lips, and you feel your face heat up once again. “Wanna see if I can make you do it again.” You gasp softly at his words, and you feel his hands run up and down your thighs. “Not right now, of course,” he adds. “Did you feel good?”

You nod, feeling a quick wave of arousal run through you at how good it was. You’ve never cum like that before, and you don’t think you can ever go back. “What about you?” you ask after a while, glancing down at his shorts, and your eyes widen a bit when they land on the very obvious bulge in between his legs.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” he says, and you frown a little bit at that.

“But I want you to feel good too,” you respond and he groans softly.

“Yeah?” You nod again, feeling shy at what you might have to do, but then he’s pushing you down softly. “Then just lay there for me, okay?” You move back until you’re fully laying down on the bed, and you watch as he sits up on his knees before shoving his shorts down his body. Your mouth falls open a bit when your eyes finally land on him, and you’re having a hard time looking away. “You like?” he teases, and you don’t have to hide your nod.

His fingers are still wet from your release, but he slides them into his mouth anyway, moaning softly when your taste floods his tastebuds. He glances at you, smiling when he sees that you’re watching him, and he breathes out of his nose when he wraps his hand around his dick.

You sit up on your elbows before you fully sit up, your face inches away from his shaft, and you really get a good look at it. You’ve seen your fair share of dicks unfortunately at the hands of unsolicited dick pics, but this is the first one you’ve seen in person. And you don’t know if it’s because you’re really attracted to him, but it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. 

He’s so long, the tip being a pretty pink, and your eyes follow the veins that go from the tip all the way down to his balls. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” he questions, and you tear your eyes away to look at him. 

“I wanna touch you,” you mumble, and his movements falter for a split second at your words. He grabs your hand, and you feel yourself clench around nothing when he slides your fingers into his mouth. You watch as he guides your hand, and you quietly hum at how hot it feels. You wrap your hand around him, just wanting to feel him in your hand, and he bites back a moan.

You’re definitely out of your element here, but you move your hand anyway, trying to copy what he was doing moments before. “Am I doing okay?” you ask, looking up at him, looking at him so eagerly yet completely innocently.

“Jesus,” he breathes, feeling like he might bust in two seconds. “Yeah, baby, you’re doing great,” he answers with a quick nod. “You can go a little bit faster.” You do what he says, and he balls his hand into a fist, letting out a soft groan. Honestly, this is probably the best handjob he’s ever gotten. It doesn’t (or does) help that you’re looking at him like that, and he can feel himself twitch in your hand. 

You tighten your grip just a little whether you meant to or not, and he lets his head fall back on his shoulders as he swears. He decides he definitely wants to look at you when he cums, and he grabs your hand to stop you even though he absolutely does not want you to. “Was that good?”

“Yeah, but I just want you to lay there and look pretty for me,” he says, and you lay back down, spreading your legs a little, and he groans at the image under him. He’s quick to put his hand back on him, pulling the bottom of his shirt up into his mouth. His pace is pretty quick since he’s so close, and he keeps his eyes on you, seeing how you’re watching the tip of his dick disappear under his hand on the downstroke.

“Fuck,” he moans, and his breath catches as he watches your hands migrate toward your chest. His hips buck as he watches you roll your fingers over your nipples, and you moan softly at the feeling. “Shit, baby, keep touching yourself for me.”

You move one of your hands down your body, your fingers slowly inching towards your clit, and he waits in anticipation, his dick twitching again when you finally start rubbing that bundle of nerves, moaning a little bit louder as your toes curl. “M still sensitive,” you admit, and he huffs out a laugh.

“I know, angel, but you look so good.” He swears again, his tip leaking even more. “God, the things I wanna do to you.” He starts to curl in on himself when he feels that knot building up in the base of his spine, his hips bucking into his hand. “Shit, I’m gonna cum.” He doesn’t stop, his breath catching in his chest before he finally falls over that crest. He fucks himself through his orgasm as he spills on the sheets and over your legs. 

He keeps going until his nerves tingle from the overstimulation, and he lets his head fall back on his shoulders as he catches his breath. “Holy shit,” he sighs, quickly lifting his head and leaning down with his body hovering over you. He kisses you, lacing his clean fingers with yours and sliding his tongue in your mouth. He rests his head against yours after he pulls away, and he can’t wipe the smile off of his face.

“Did you feel good?” you ask softly, and he chuckles quietly, squeezing your hands.

“Yeah, that was amazing.” You give him a shy smile, and he can’t help but kiss you again. He gets up shortly after to clean you and himself up, and he tells you to hop in the shower while he changes your sheets. When you get out, he’s already changed clothes, and he pulls you into your bed. You laugh but go with him anyway, squeezing into your tiny bed. 

He moves you to lay on top of him, and you quickly find yourself drifting off. He’s rubbing over your back, and you feel him kiss the top of your head, his breathing lulling you to sleep.

You really don’t know what to call your relationship with Sero. You never got around to asking him, and now it’s been a week since the events that went down in your dorm. You know that he feels the same way about you, but you don’t know if that means that he actually wants to date you. Honestly, the thought of just being friends with benefits with Sero leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Besides your schoolwork, that sinking feeling is what clouds your thoughts nearly every day. You’re scared to ask him because you’re afraid of hearing something that you don’t want to hear. You still hang out with him, but you haven’t spent any time alone with him since you’re usually with your friends. He always sits next to you, keeping his arm around you, but that’s as far as it goes. You don’t know if your friends know anything, but the more you spend time around Sero, the more conflicted you feel.

You’re in the library tonight, trying to make up for lost time since you didn’t really get a lot of studying today, but you can’t focus. You try everything; playing music, playing one of your favorite shows, even going so far as to not play anything, but nothing works. You sigh heavily as you put your elbows on the table, rubbing over your head.

“Looks like somebody’s studying too hard,” you hear, and you turn your head to see Hanta standing behind you. Your heart skips and sinks all at the same time, but you smile at him anyway, hoping you're masking your inner turmoil.

“I was trying to make up for not studying earlier, but it’s not really working,” you say, looking back at your work. You sigh again right before you feel his hands on your shoulders, and you feel yourself relax as he massages them a little. 

“Come on, let’s get you outta here,” he whispers, and you feel yourself hesitate, talking to try and buy yourself some more time.

“Where are we going?” you ask, turning to look at him when his hands slide off your shoulders.

“We could go back to my place,” he offers, and your face warms almost instantly.

“I’m not really in the mood for…” you start, and he smiles at you, leaning down so that his face is in front of yours.

“Mood for what?” he teases, and you can’t bring yourself to say it in the middle of the library but he keeps talking. “Don’t worry, baby. I wasn’t thinking of anything else. If you go back to your dorm, you’ll just try and study until your brain hurts.”

He has a point, and you sigh internally that he doesn’t want to do any of what you did last week. You think about it, but that part of you that likes him so much ultimately makes the decision for you. “Okay,” you respond, and you start packing your stuff up.

He grabs your hand after you stand and put on your backpack, and you both walk out of the library. You’re quiet as you walk to his car, suddenly surrounded by a tornado of thoughts. He doesn’t call you on it, even when you’re quiet all the way to his house. 

“Lemme give you a tour,” he says when he opens the door to his house. You both take your shoes off at the door when you close it, and you follow him into the house. “You already know the kitchen and the living room,” he starts, and he gestures to the sliding doors further into the house. “Backyard.”

He shows you the bathroom downstairs before you follow him upstairs. There’s another bathroom, his room, and he stops in front of another door when you walk further into the hallway. “And this is my art room.” He opens the door, gesturing for you to go first. The first thing that fills your nose is the strong smell of paint, and you look around when he turns the light on.

There are painting all over the room, some of them hanging on the walls, and there are papers on the floor in a couple of corners of the room. The desk he has is covered with stacks of sketchbooks, and you can see where he keeps all of his supplies in the bookcase that lines one of the walls. “This is really nice,” you comment, stopping in the middle of the room where one of his easels is. 

You walk over to one of the paintings that you can see, carefully running your fingers over it. “This is so beautiful,” you whisper, and you freeze for a bit when you feel Sero wrap his arms around you.

“You can have it if you want,” he says, and you look at him over your shoulder.

“Really?”

“Of course. You inspired it after all.” You look over it again, seeing the flowers that he picked from the bush that one day all over the painting. They’re all different sizes, and you squint, leaning your head forward as you really look at it.

“Is that…me?”

“I was wondering how long it was gonna take you,” he chuckles, and you can definitely start to see it now. Even though the flowers cover the painting, the negative space around them creates an image of you. “Painted it that night,” he adds.

“What are you gonna call it?” you ask, trying your best to keep your negative thoughts at bay.

“I dunno yet, even though there are a million words I could use to describe how beautiful you are.” It takes absolutely no time for your face to go warm, glancing at the painting before you look down at the floor, having a hard time concealing your smile.

But it doesn’t take long for your thoughts to derail. He could honestly be saying all of these things just to say it. There could be no meaning behind them, only an intention to keep you here. And it’s working. 

Your smile falls, and Sero spins you around in his arms before he kisses you softly. “C’mon, there’s one more place I wanna show you.”

He takes your hand, and you follow anyway even though you want to leave and crawl in your bed. He turns the light off, walking you further down the hallway. You can see a door, the windows covered with some curtains, but you don’t say anything. Sero stops at the door, pulling you so that you’re now in front of him.

“Open it,” he urges softly. 

You open it, stepping through the door slowly as you realize that you’re on a small balcony. But it’s decorated with string lights, and there’s a blanket in the middle. Your mouth falls open softly as you take it in, seeing that there are a couple of baskets on the blanket.

“What is all this?” you ask, but he doesn’t answer, instead ushering you to sit down. He sits down next to you, pulling out all of the food he packed in the baskets, and you truly don’t have any words. 

When he’s done, he hands you a plate, and you silently fill it, wondering what’s going through his head. He does the same, but he sets it down quickly after, grabbing your attention by gently wrapping his fingers around your leg. He scoots closer to you, moving your legs so that they’re in between his.

“You know you’re really good at wearing your thoughts on your face,” he tells you softly, and you chew on your lip as pick at the edge of your plate.

“Isn’t that a bad thing?” you say, forcing a chuckle, and he takes your chin in his fingers so that you’re looking at him again. 

“Not for me because then I know when something’s wrong.” He keeps talking after you don’t respond. “I should’ve made this clear from the beginning, but I don’t want just a sexual relationship with you. I feel a lot for you.”

You take in his words, but that insecurity is still eating at you. “Isn’t that too fast?”

He smiles softly. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

You answer in your head almost immediately. Of course, you do. It’s what happened with your parents. They met each other in college and have been inseparable since.

You nod shortly after he asks you. “Then I wouldn’t consider this too fast. At least not on my end.” He grabs your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “But if this is too fast for you then that’s okay.”

You shake your head, but you don’t say anything right away. “It just feels weird, I guess. I dunno how to describe it,” you eventually say even though you know it probably doesn’t explain anything. “I’ve never done anything like this before or really liked someone. I guess I’m just protecting myself.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Sero responds. “But you don’t have to feel bad about stuff like that. There’s a first time for everything. And we can go as slow or as fast as you want.” You give him a small smile, your mind finally letting his words go to heart.

If Sero just wanted to keep this relationship casual, you probably would’ve gone with it until you weren’t satisfied anymore. But at the same time, the thought of only being someone who only warms his bed made you feel horrible. Maybe it was love at first sight, and you just didn’t know it yet. Hearing how he actually feels about you made your heart race once it finally hit you.

“I’m just relieved that you feel that way,” you admit. “I don’t know if I would be okay with anything else.”

“You coulda just talked to me about it, baby.”

“I know, but I was afraid of your answer. I was worried you were gonna say something that I wasn’t gonna be happy with.”

“Well, I’m gonna tell you again,” he starts, setting your plate aside and grabbing both of your hands before he kisses over your skin. “I really like you, and I want you to be mine. If you’ll have me.” You can’t help but smile from ear to ear, leaning forward to kiss him, and he meets you halfway.

“Aren’t you supposed to ask someone on a date before you bring them to one?” you ask playfully when you pull away.

“Let’s say I was just being optimistic,” he jests, and you laugh softly before you start eating.

The balcony faces the city, and with the sun going down, you can see how bright it is even from far away. You and Sero talk about anything and everything until you feel full, wondering how long it’s been since you’ve even eaten anything today. 

When you’re done, Sero leans back against the house, pulling you with him so you can sit in between his legs. You lean back against him, and he wraps his arms around you, letting them rest on your lap. 

You let your head fall back on him as you sigh, letting everything you were worried about wash over you. It seems a bit silly that you were worried about anything in the first place, but you don’t put too much blame on yourself. You don’t know how long you sit outside just listening to the sounds of the city, but eventually, you feel yourself getting tired.

When Sero offers for you to just stay at his place for the night, you don’t protest since it’s the weekend. He cleans up everything on the balcony while you get ready in the bathroom, and he gives you a shirt to sleep in when he gets done.

You feel like you could fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillows. Sero turns off the lights after he closes the door, sliding into the bed next to you. He wraps his arm around you, and a smile pulls at your face when you feel him kiss your forehead. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispers.

“Night, Hanta.”

You didn’t really have any expectations going into your relationship with Hanta mostly because you had never dated someone before. You felt like there were obvious things you would want out of a relationship, but when it came to dating specifically, you didn’t really know what you were expecting.

You were honestly a little worried that Hanta would feel a certain type of way because of that fact, but you both talked everything out, and it definitely helped your doubts. It was a little awkward for you to talk about everything, but once it was all out in the open, you were glad you had the conversation in the first place.

Even without dating in the past, you knew that you weren’t that big on PDA, and Sero was completely okay with that. You didn’t mind holding hands with him or whenever he would wrap his arm around you when you were sitting together, but you did mind kissing him whenever you had to part ways. It’s just not something you’re comfortable with, and Hanta never pushes you to do so which always makes you feel better. But if he feels like there are little to no people in the near vicinity, he’ll sneak a quick one before walking off to his next class. 

Being with Sero makes you ridiculously happy, to the point where you find yourself smiling almost all the time until your face hurts. Even your friends that you had before you met Mina called you out on it. You honestly hadn’t caught up with them in a while since you don’t really share any of the same classes, and they were practically drowning you with questions once you spilled that you’re dating someone now.

You didn’t really make a big deal about telling everyone once you started dating, and you already had a feeling that your friend group knew anyway, so you never got around to mentioning it to anyone else. Sometimes, in the back of your head, you still have a little bit of doubt, like all of this isn’t real, but whenever you spend time with Hanta, that voice becomes minute.

You’re already nearing the halfway point of the semester which means your birthday’s coming up soon. It always seems to come up out of nowhere especially when you’re surrounded by a bunch of schoolwork along with midterms. You don’t really like to announce when your birthday is coming up, sometimes never really caring for the attention it sometimes brings.

“So, what are your birthday plans?” Hanta asks, and you shrug as you type up the essay you have to write, finishing your thought before you turn your attention to Hanta.

You’ve been spending a lot more time at Hanta’s place, only staying at your dorm if your schedules don’t add up well. You’d say you’ve practically moved into his house, most of your stuff cluttering nearly every room. Sero surely doesn’t mind you staying and spending the day and night with him since that means he just gets to see you more.

“I wasn’t really planning anything, honestly,” you answer, sliding away from Hanta’s desk before spinning around in the chair. He’s sitting on the bed with a sketchbook, the pencil resting behind his ear.

“Really? But it’s your birthday.” You chuckle softly, standing up and walking over to the bed. You decide that you’ve done enough work for now, and a break is much deserved. You sit down, copying the position he’s in as you rest your back against the headboard.

“Well, parties always seem to fall apart whenever I try to plan them, and my birthday falls on a weekday this year anyway,” you say. “Usually the only thing I try to worry about is not crying on my birthday since it happens almost every year,” you add with a laugh, but there’s nothing that Sero finds funny about that.

He frowns a bit before he pulls you towards him, and you don’t know what he’s trying to do at first until he tugs at your thigh softly. You shake your head but move anyway, straddling him, and he pulls you into a hug before you can barely settle down. “You shouldn’t be crying on your birthday, angel,” he whispers into your hair, and you huff before you pull back to look at him.

“Yeah, I know, but it’s not like I can control what happens on my birthday.”

“But it’s your birthday,” he emphasizes, and you smile even though you can feel the bad memories of past birthdays sneaking up into your mind.

“So? To everyone else, it’s just another day.” He doesn’t seem too happy with your answer, but he doesn’t question you about the subject anymore. He moves his hands to your face, pulling you down so that he can kiss you softly.

“I promise that you won’t cry anymore on your birthday as long as I’m here,” he declares, and it takes you by surprise for a split second. You can feel tears stinging your eyes, trying to come out, but you fight them for as long as you can. 

“That’s a big promise,” you tease, but you can’t stop the tears no matter how hard you try, and you drop the act almost immediately. Sero wipes them away gently, and you rest your forehead against his. “Thank you, Hanta.”

“Of course, baby.” 

You always try to play off how much that fact bothered you, but hearing what Hanta said just made you realize how many times you’ve actually cried. Some people might call you overdramatic, but you’ve always hated crying on your birthday, feeling like you shouldn’t be. Of course, you can’t control life, but the fact that it still happened bothers you.

But being here with Hanta right now tells you that his promise isn’t empty. 

~

You still didn’t make any plans for your birthday because your birthday was on the busiest day of your week, and with all the work you had, you wanted nothing more than to just be with Hanta and in bed once the weekend hit.

Honestly, the morning of your birthday started off great because the professor of your first class of the day canceled class the day before, so you didn’t have to wake up stupidly early. It was also nice because you woke up and Hanta was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes followed by a soft happy birthday.

He cooks you breakfast and you spend the morning with him until you have to finish the rest of your day on campus. When you had to go, you found yourself feeling more upset that you had to leave Hanta, but you knew that you’d see him once you both were done for the day. He drops you off, kissing you deeply before you get out of the car.

You thank him softly as you close the car door, giving him one last smile before you start walking to your class. You check your phone on the way, seeing that you’ve gotten messages from your friends and family, and you assume that Sero must’ve told his friends because the group chat you were added to is full of happy birthday texts.

You smile as you read them, sending a reply once you get into the lecture hall. You don’t lose your smile the entire time you’re sitting in class or the entire day for that matter. You can’t remember the last time you’ve been so happy on your birthday, and you wonder if anything could top it. You assume because you’re so happy is why the day goes by so fast; your lab being one of the quickest you and your partner have ever done.

You have to hold back from skipping out of the building, breathing in deeply before you start to walk to where you’re meeting Hanta. You try to hold it in, but once his car is in sight, you’re close to running over to it. 

“I’m guessing someone had a good day,” he comments when you get in, and you lean over the console to kiss him.

“It went surprisingly well. I got out of lab so early today.” He grabs your hand, lacing his fingers with yours before he drives off, resting your hands on the console.

“I’m glad to hear that. You sure you don’t wanna do anything today? You have the time,” he asks, and you shake your head earnestly.

“No. I still have some work I need to finish up, and I wanna get it done so I don’t have to do anything this weekend,” you answer. “Also, I like spending time with you anyway.”

He smiles at that, kissing the back of your hand gently. When you get back to his house, you decide that you want to shower before you get into your work, wanting to decompress before you start working your brain. 

When you’re done and dressed, it doesn’t look like Hanta’s been in his room yet, and you hear your stomach rumbling. Eating hadn’t even crossed your mind today mostly because your body never told you that you were hungry and because the day when by so fast. You walk downstairs to try and find him so that you can ask him if he’s hungry too.

When you walk into the kitchen, you see that Hanta’s already got food on the table and before you can get his attention, you see that it’s from your favorite place. You walk up to him, wrapping your arms around him, and he jumps before you feel him relax against you. “You gave me a heart attack,” he laughs, and you smile as you let your head fall against his back.

“Sorry,” you mumble, and you loosen your grip a bit so that he can turn around. “Thank you for today, Hanta.”

“You’re welcome, baby,” he tells you softly, brushing some of your hair out of your face. “No tears today, right?” You smile widely as you shake your head. “Good,” he whispers. “You hungry?” You nod, staying quiet, and he pulls you to the table so that you can eat. 

The food seems to taste even better than it usually does, and that only seems to boost the amount of serotonin that’s running through your body. You both eat in comfortable silence, Hanta eventually breaking it when you ask him how his day went. You find yourself looking at him the entire time he talks, and this might be the first time that you’re thinking about how much you actually like him.

He’s been nothing but supportive since you met him; making sure you’re taking breaks when you’re studying, making sure you’re not studying too hard, and helping you out when you need it even though he never really understands what you’re doing. And now doing all this for your birthday. You wouldn’t say that your heart starts racing, but you definitely feel something run through you that feels amazing.

“I got one more thing for you,” he tells you, breaking you out of your thoughts. “But you have to close your eyes.” You playfully frown at him, but you do it anyway, hearing him shuffling around, the sound of plates being moved and stuff being opened filling your ears. You honestly have no idea what he’s doing, and then you hear a plate being set down in front of you. “You can open them.”

You slowly peel your eyes open, gasping softly when you see a cupcake with a candle on it. It’s nowhere near a birthday cake, but there’s not a single part of you that cares. Hanta sits down next to you again, scooting his chair closer to you before softly singing happy birthday. You’re smiling so big that your face is hurting, and he kisses you once he finishes singing.

“Make a wish, sweetheart,” he whispers against your lips. You pull away, closing your eyes for a few seconds before you open them and turn to blow out the candle. “What’d you wish for?”

“If I tell you, it won’t come true,” you say, laughing softly.

You wished that you could be this happy for the rest of your life, and you’re pretty sure that whether you tell Hanta or not, this feeling will never leave.

It’s the weekend already and you still feel like you’re on top of the world. Since you got a lot of work done, you’re not doing anything this weekend, and you spend most of your Saturday in bed with Hanta. You had absolutely no plans, only getting out of bed to eat and then throwing yourself under the covers right after.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna go out today?” Hanta asks you softly, and you look up from your phone, locking it before you smile at him.

“I’m sure. I just wanna spend today doing nothing.” You move closer so you can kiss him, keeping it a little longer before you pull away, going back in to give him another one. "Doing nothing with you, of course," you whisper, shuddering a bit when you feel his fingers rubbing at your hip.

"Really?" he hums quietly, smiling a little as his hand finds its way under your shirt. His finger picks at the side of your underwear, and your toes curl at the motion. He lets his hand drift down your thigh as you nod, and a soft gasp leaves when his hand fits its way in between your legs.

"Well, what if I told you I had something planned today?" he says as his fingers ghost over your folds. 

"L-Like what?" you manage, your answer delayed when he pulls your underwear out of his way. He rubs his thumb over your clit as he slowly slides his leg in between yours so that he can keep touching you. 

"Try and guess, baby," he teases as his finger rests at your entrance. You sort of hear what he says, but you're not totally focused on it, your attention mostly on his fingers. 

"I dunno," you mumble, your eyes closing as he slowly slides into you. He shifts, carefully maneuvering you onto your back as he speeds his fingers up, and you bite your lip to try and conceal your moans.

You've done stuff with Hanta since that day in your dorm, but you haven't slept together yet. That's not really a big deal for you, but you can't help but think about how it would feel. If he's making you feel this good just from his fingers then it'll probably be tenfold when he finally fucks you.

Even though you've been in this position before, you're still so shy about it, and that does more to Sero than he'd like to admit. All it takes is a circle of his fingers, and you're putty in his hands as you hide your face with whatever you can.

You try to put your arm over your face, but he puts a stop to that before you can even get to your face like he knew it was coming. You feel tears leaking out of your eyes when they screw shut as that familiar feeling in your stomach starts to form.

He carefully pulls your lip from between your teeth, allowing every sound you make to be fully audible to his ears. "H-Hanta, 'm–" Your breathing starts to become airy as your hand grabs onto his wrist. 

"Yeah, angel? You gonna cum?" he asks, waiting for your quick nod before he looks down at where his hand is disappearing inside of you. He can hear what his fingers are doing, the digits glistening every time he slides them out of you.

You start to move away from him slightly as the pleasure starts to become overwhelming, but Sero follows your every move. "C'mon, sweetheart, wanna see if I can make you squirt again."

You can't really hear what he's saying, your heart racing so fast you can hear it in your ears. You feel yourself gasp before your orgasm hits you like a truck, feeling like time stops before your legs start to shake as that knot snaps.

"Fuck, there it is," Hanta groans as you coat his wrist in your release. You're squeezing his fingers so tight that you nearly push him out, but he pushes through to let it run its course. "Such a good girl for me, angel."

You push at his wrist, whining his name until he finally slows down, the squelching you hear when he slides his fingers out is enough to make your already warm face even hotter. 

Your chest is heaving as Hanta's arm drips with your slick, and he slides his fingers into his mouth, groaning loudly as the taste of you fills his mouth. Your arms are resting over your face as you catch your breath, shivering when you feel it running down your legs.

"You made such a mess, baby," Sero whispers, and you can hear the smile he's wearing on his face, but you feel your face grow warm anyway, barely peeling your arms away.

"Sorry," you mumble, and his smile widens as he pushes at your arms softly. He kisses you once he gets your arms down, letting his tongue swirl in your mouth, and the kiss alone is almost enough to get you going again.

"Don't be sorry, sweetheart. I love making you do it," he says against your lips. He rubs over your body, kissing your forehead. "You okay?" 

You give him a small smile as you nod, your legs quaking when you move them even the slightest bit. Your phone rings, scaring you a bit, and you feel around for it, seeing Mina's name on the screen.

"What's up?"

"I need you to go shopping with me today, I'll be there in twenty." And then she hangs up. You pull the phone away from your ear, scoffing as you put the phone down. Sero chuckles softly as you shake your head.

"That girl, I swear." It takes you a while to finally get out of bed, but when you do, you slowly make your way to the bathroom. You shower, wincing a bit at the sensitivity you're still feeling as you wash yourself.

You're dressed and ready right as Mina pulls up, and Sero gives you a kiss goodbye before you walk out of the door. "Have fun, okay?" You nod, giving him a hug before you walk out to Mina's car.

“Did I really have to tag along today?” you ask once you get in the car, and Mina rolls her eyes as she drives off.

“Of course, you did. I didn’t get to see you on your birthday.”

“Well, I did have class that day. I didn’t wanna do anything too crazy,” you say. Mina drives to the mall, saying that she needed someone with her so that she wouldn’t buy too much stuff along with wanting a second opinion on whatever she tried on.

You shook your head but went with her anyway, and you didn’t intend to buy anything of course, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look around. You walk around the store, nothing really catching your eye until your eyes land on a dress.

It’s nothing too over the top, but it could be for any occasion if you dress right. “You like it?” You jump at the sound of Mina’s voice next to you, looking over to see her arms filled with clothes.

“Yeah, it’s really cute,” you comment, running your hand over it so that you can feel the fabric.

“You should at least try it on then. Come on, I’m gonna try this stuff on too.” Once you grab the dress off the rack, she’s pulling you toward the dressing room. You wait for Mina to try on all of her stuff, and there are actually a few times when she needed a second opinion. She decides to get most of the stuff that she tried on, leaving the ones that she doesn’t want on the rack.

“Okay, your turn.” She nearly pushes you into a room, closing the door behind you. You try it on, turning around as you look at yourself in the mirror. It is really pretty, and you start to consider getting it when Mina softly knocks on the door. 

You laugh as you step out, letting her see it. “Oh, my God, you look so good! You should get it!”

“You think?” you ask, looking down at yourself.

“Yes! I’ll even buy it for you.”

“Mina, you don’t have to do that.”

She rests her hands on your arms. “Just think of this as your birthday present,” she responds. “Seriously, it’s no big deal. Also, there’s a sale going on, and if I spend enough money I get rewards,” she adds when you start to look unsure.

“Only if you want to,” you relent, and she smiles widely before letting you go back into the room to take the dress off. 

You walk out of the store with just your dress in your hands while Mina has two bags. “So, was that all you had planned today?” You look over to see that Mina’s looking at her phone, and she looks up at you before pocketing her phone.

“I was thinking of getting some food. You hungry?” You shrug before you nod, and the both of you head over to the food court. Mina offers to get the food while you find a seat, and she brushes you off when you try to pay her back, using the birthday excuse again.

You don’t know how long you sit with her and talk about anything that comes up, continuing the conversation long after you’ve finished eating. You offer to throw her food away, and when you come back, she’s looking at her phone again. “Is everything okay?”

She looks up quickly. “Yeah, Denki’s just stressing about something that’s no big deal.” You chuckle as Mina collects her bags. You figured that she was done with what she needed, but then she proceeds to take you to almost every store that you pass by. You don’t mind it at first, but when you come out of the sixth store and she hasn’t bought anything, you start to get just a teensy bit annoyed.

“Mina, you haven’t bought anything in over an hour,” you speak up, and she looks at the time on her phone.

“Wow, time really does fly! I’m ready to go if you are.” You nod eagerly, sighing to yourself in relief. When you walk out of the mall, the sun is down which really tells you how long you’ve been out because the sun was about to set when you walked in.

Mina drives by her place to drop her stuff off, and she urges you to put the dress on. “It’s good to make sure you still like it,” she presses, and you put it back on without much of a fight, sighing when you walk back out so she can see it. “Perfect! We have one more place to go to.”

She grabs your arm, pulling you out of her house. “Mina, wait!” You didn’t even get to take the dress off, but she’s already locking her front door and pulling you to the car. You want to ask Mina what she has planned, but then she’s pulling into Sero’s driveway.

You can barely get out of the car before Mina pushes you towards the door. “Open it!” You give her a suspicious look but open the door anyway. You frown when you see how dark it is in the house especially when Mina closes the door, but before you can question in, the lights turn on. 

“Surprise!!” You jump when all of your friends jump out from where they were hiding, and you can see birthday decorations plastered all over the room. You’re frozen in shock for a little bit, only moving when Mina puts a sash and crown on your head.

“What in the world?” you find yourself asking as you walk further into the house. 

“Happy birthday!” Mina yells, giving you a hug. 

“You did all this?”

“Nope, this was all Sero’s idea.” Mina walks away as Hanta comes up to you, and you haven’t stopped smiling since the surprise was revealed.

“Happy birthday, baby,” he tells you, leaning down to kiss you.

“You purposefully had Mina get me out of the house for this?” you laugh, and he laughs with you as he wraps his arms around your waist.

“Yep. Sorry, you were out for so long though, we got started later than I wanted.”

“I thought I was never gonna leave that mall,” you sigh, and he laughs again before gently pulling you towards the party. 

There aren’t a lot of people here, but it’s your closest friends and it’s more than enough. The crown and the sash are definitely overkill, but you make no move to remove them during the night. Almost everyone got you something, and even if it’s something small, you still love it regardless. Sero brings out a cake later on, and with everyone surrounding you, you feel that same feeling of happiness you were feeling earlier in the week.

Everyone cheers when you blow out the candles after they sing, and as Mina starts to cut the cake, you feel tears forming in your eyes. “What’s wrong?” Hanta whispers. He’s sitting next to you, turning your head toward him so that he can wipe your tears.

“I’m just really happy,” you say, sniffling as you smile widely. “Thank you for this, Hanta. I love it.” You lean over to kiss him softly, having a difficult time wiping the smile off your face.

“Of course, angel. I’m glad you’re having fun.” 

You stay glued to Hanta’s side for the rest of the night, sharing a slice of cake with him. He never leaves your side either, and the house is filled with laughter and conversation. You wish that this moment could last forever even though you know it won’t, but for the first time in a long time, you’ve really enjoyed your birthday. And it’s all thanks to Hanta.

“What?” he asks you when he catches you looking at him.

“Nothing,” you whisper, shaking your head. You don’t give him any more than that, and he doesn’t push you, tightening his arm around you as he kisses your forehead.

The end of the semester sneaks up on you a lot faster than you like. All of a sudden, you’re stacked with last-minute exams all the while preparing for your final exams. You spend a lot of time studying with Mina since the class you share is the first final exam you both have. 

You wouldn’t say you’re worried about it, but the content isn’t the easiest and the exam is cumulative which makes you a little bit uneasy. Luckily, it’s your hardest class this semester, so you have a little bit more room to allow this class to take up most of your study time. 

Sero's been busy as well, trying to finish up most of his projects before classes end. He volunteered to present his work at an art show the art department is hosting, but his professor suggested creating something new instead of presenting pieces he's already done.

Of course, he had talked about this with them way before the semester was coming to a close, but he couldn't really find any inspiration, and now he had nothing to present. He has maybe one painting that he might use, but it's not his best work.

You've been taking it easy the last couple of days since you and Mina thoroughly studied out your brains, so you won't see her anymore until you're taking the exam. This means you've been with Sero more, but you notice that he's still in his art studio even though he was there before you left.

You had been going back and forth from your dorm to the library and vice versa since you were studying, and as much as you loved spending time with Sero, you wanted to keep your mind clear and focused.

When you finally get back to his house, you slowly step into the art studio, seeing Hanta standing in front of a half-painted canvas.

"Have you been in here for the past couple of days?" you ask him softly when you walk up to him. He turns to you, and you easily let him fall into you, his head falling into your neck as his hands loosely rest on your hips.

"Yeah. I don't know what to do about this art show," he mumbles.

"Well, what you have so far looks good," you comment, turning your head a little to look at what he’s already drawn

"It's not good enough for me, though." 

“Maybe you should take a break,” you offer softly. “You’ve been working on this for a while. Maybe if you step back for a bit, something will strike.” You don’t know if he’s listening, but you start to move toward the door anyway.

You grab his hand once the distance between you starts to increase, but it takes a little bit of pulling on your part to get him to move. You pull him to his room, and you lay down on the bed first, pulling him onto the bed when he doesn’t move once you get comfortable.

He lays on top of you, and you turn the TV on, putting on one of your favorite shows before you set the remote aside. You run your fingers through Hanta’s hair while your other hand rubs over his back. Hanta sighs heavily but he focuses on the TV anyway, and he realizes how much he missed being with you. 

He hadn’t really been paying attention to how much time had passed because he was stressed about his work. He’s glad you pulled him out of there because he’s already starting to feel at ease, his shoulders aching when he relaxes from how long they’ve been tense. He can feel his eyelids growing heavy as he tries to watch the show, but he doesn’t keep it up for long, letting them fall closed.

Hanta swears that he only closed his eyes for a second, but when he opens them again, the TV is off, and it’s dark in the room. Hanta looks around, seeing that you’re not laying in the bed with him, and he looks at the clock on his nightstand to see that it’s late at night. He rolls over, feeling like he could sleep for longer even though he just found out he slept all day.

But then his stomach grumbles loudly, and he knows there’s no way he can go back to sleep now. He yawns loudly as he sits up, taking a couple more moments to wake up a little more before he stands. He brushes his teeth to get that taste out of his mouth before he heads toward the stairs. He’s looking for you as he makes his way down to the kitchen, and he can hear music coming from downstairs along with smelling something really good.

He yawns again as he gets to the kitchen, seeing you stirring something on the stove as you sway to the music that’s playing. He waits until you set the spoon down to try and get your attention, and you jump when you feel his hands at your waist.

“You really don’t make any noise when you walk,” you breathe, and Sero chuckles softly, looking over your shoulder to see what you’re making. “I’m pretty sure you’re starving, but I didn’t wanna wake you up. You were sleeping like the dead.”

“Yeah, I can’t remember the last time I’ve gotten some sleep,” he responds. You turn around with a small frown on your face.

“You need to take better care of yourself, Hanta,” you scold lightly, pressing your finger to his forehead gently. He smiles, grabbing your hand so that he can plant a small kiss on your skin.

“Yeah, I know. I just got too caught up…but it might happen again,” he admits, and you roll your eyes at him.

“Well, you should eat. I’m almost done.” He hums as you turn around, and you feel his arms wrap around you, but he doesn’t let you go. You shake your head, but let him stay since you’re almost done cooking anyway.

You make a plate for the both of you, and you carry both as Hanta stays attached to you until you get to the table. You wonder if he’ll make you sit in his lap since he seems to be super clingy right now, but he lets you have your own seat. It must’ve been a while since he’s eaten because you’ve barely made it halfway through your plate, and he’s already done. 

You made more just to be on the safe side and you’re glad you did. You offer to make him another plate once you finish up yours, handing him the plate before washing yours in the sink. You clean up the dishes you cooked with while Sero finishes eating. You sit on the counter while he washes his dish, and neither of you makes any move to start a conversation.

He dries his hands off before stepping in between your legs, and your hands slide over his shoulders. He leans down so that his face is inches from yours, and you both look at each other in the eyes, laughing softly. “Hi,” he whispers, letting his hands move under your (his) shirt.

“Hi,” you echo, and he kisses you gently. “Are you gonna be staying up again?” He sighs softly before he shakes his head, moving his arms so that he can rub over your thighs.

“I think I still need to take a break,” he answers. “Were you gonna go back to sleep?”

“No, I kinda took a power nap earlier, so I’m gonna be up.” He nods and you look around, looking back at Hanta as you smile. “I was gonna bake some cookies if you wanna do it with me,” you offer.

He chuckles as he steps back so you can get off the counter. You grab all of the ingredients you need, and he grabs all of the supplies you’ll need. When you went out to the store earlier in the week, you didn’t really know what cookies you wanted to make, so you both just make a handful of all of the ones that you wanted.

Making the batter takes longer than it should since Hanta either keeps trying to eat the raw batter or keeps hitting you with the flour. The latter causes flour to be all over both of you, the counter, and the floor. An hour has passed before you finally put all the cookies in the oven.

“You’re gonna have to clean all this up, you know?” you tell him as you wash your hands. He washes his hands after you before crowding you against the island.

“Yes, ma’am,” he muses before he grabs you by your hips to set you on the counter. “You just sit here and look pretty.”

“That was my plan,” you jest, and he smiles, kissing you on the forehead then your nose and lips before he starts cleaning. You listen to the music you’re still playing as the sweet smell of the cookies fills your nose. You both hum to the music as Hanta moves all the dishes into the sink so that he can wipe off the counters.

You slide off the counter to check on some of the cookies after you check the time on your phone, and you gently hip-check Hanta out of the way so you can open the oven. You laugh when he pokes you in your side, and you use the handle of a spoon to check if they’re cooked through.

One of the pans is finished, so you slide an oven mitt on your hand and pull them out. You set them on the stove as you close the oven. The pan has sugar cookies on them, and they were the first ones that you and Hanta made. Instead of sitting on the counter while you wait for them to cool off, you wrap your arms around Hanta, resting your head on his back.

You always talk about how clingy Hanta gets, but if you think about it, you’re probably doing it just as much as he does. You don’t know how to explain it; it just feels natural, like something that just feels right. Every time you’re near him, it just feels like your whole mood gets better. Sometimes, you don’t even realize how down your mood is until you’re in Hanta’s arms.

He’s almost done washing everything while you continue to check the cookies and take them out if they’re fully cooked. When you finally get the last pan out of the oven, you turn it off before you try a sugar cookie. Hanta turns to you right as you take a bite, and you hold it out to him for him to do the same. He takes a bigger bite than you did, so you let him have the rest of the cookie.

You both don’t eat all of the cookies since you just finished eating dinner, but you do eat a few from each pan. “Mm, I love this song,” Hanta says as he finishes a cookie. You finish yours as he grabs your hands to pull you to the living room so you can hear the song better.

You’ve never heard the song before, but you follow him anyway. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into him as he starts to slowly spin around in a circle. You let your arms loosely wrap around his neck as he softly hums the song. He sings the lyrics as he looks down at you, and you smile at him as you listen to him.

You close your eyes after a while, and you rest your head against his. It’s like time slows down as the song surrounds the two of you, and Hanta moves your head so that it’s resting on his chest. He rests his chin on the top of your head gently as he hums the song.

As the song comes to an end, you can feel the energy you got from your nap earlier running out, trying your best to conceal your yawn, but Hanta hears it. He doesn’t say anything, pulling you upstairs to his room. You practically flop onto the bed, feeling the rush of fatigue hit you suddenly. 

Sero slides into bed next to you after turning the lights off, and your blinking is already slow when he pulls the blanket over the both of you. “Goodnight, baby,” Hanta whispers before he huffs a bit. “Or good morning, I guess,” he adds, noting how the sunrise is starting to peak through the curtains.

You hum softly, a small smile appearing on your face for a bit before your face falls. “Goodnight, Hanta.”

~

When you wake up, you roll over before you notice that you’re alone in the bed. The sun is well up in the sky, and you would just go back to sleep, but you really have to pee. You groan softly, throwing the blankets off of you and stretching when you stand. After you use the bathroom, you decide to see where Hanta went.

You check his art studio first since it’s on the same floor, and you call his name softly as you push the door open. You walk in to see him painting, and he’s so focused that he doesn’t even hear you come in. You walk a little closer to him, calling his name a little louder so that you don’t scare him as you approach him.

He quickly looks over his shoulder, and he gives you a quick kiss on the lips before he turns back around. “What’re you doing up?”

“I had to pee,” you tell him as you look at what he’s doing before you look over him, seeing that he’s covered in paint, having it all over his face, fingers, arms, and torso. “How long you been at it?”

“I only slept for like an hour, I dunno,” he nearly mumbles, and you don’t really press him with any more questions. 

Mina had warned you about this a while ago, telling you that whenever inspiration strikes, he’ll work until it’s finished, and there’s almost nothing that could break him from it. You decide you don’t want to get back into bed by yourself, so you grab a blanket from his room.

He has a couch in his studio, so you make yourself at home, laying down and curling yourself under the blanket. You watch him work, wondering what inspiration struck him since he was in such a slump not too long ago. You notice that he has the song that was playing last night that he was singing, and it makes you smile as the memories fill your head.

Once you settle into the couch, you can feel yourself starting to feel sleepy. You didn’t check the time when you woke up, but it doesn’t feel like you got much sleep, so you don’t fight it when it comes back.

When you wake up, Hanta is in the same position that you last saw him in. He seems to be working on something different, and you starting to think that he’s been at this for a while now. The music is still playing in the room, and your stomach grumbles a little when your body starts to shake the sleep off.

If you’re hungry, then Hanta has to be as well, but you don’t think you’d be able to pull him away for even a second. You go into the bathroom to brush your teeth before you go downstairs to try and figure out what you want to eat. When you walk into the kitchen, you see that it’s completely empty, so Hanta must’ve put the cookies up earlier.

It’s nearly the afternoon, so you’re not really in the mood for breakfast, so you just decide to heat up dinner from last night. You make yourself a plate before grabbing two bottles of water and making your way back to the studio.

You set yours on the couch while you put the other one on the floor next to the easel that Hanta’s using, but not in a spot where he could knock it over. “Hanta, you should eat,” you try.

“In a minute, I promise,” he hums, and a smile pulls at the corner of your lip as you roll your eyes. You hold out some of the food on your fork in Hanta’s direction, and he barely registers that it’s there. You try to put it in his line of sight, and he eats it off the fork, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the canvas.

You feel a little better that he has something on his stomach even if it isn’t a lot, but you don’t want to risk ruining his painting, so you give him his space and sit back down on the couch. This is honestly how you spend the next couple of days. You try to get a little bit of food in Hanta’s stomach, and you notice that he’s drinking the water even though you’ve never seen him pick up the bottle.

You sleep on the couch whenever fatigue gets to you because you don’t want to be in a different room than Hanta, and you want to make sure that he doesn’t pass out or anything. Every time you wake up or walk back into the room, he seems to be covered in more paint than he was the previous time you saw him. Once a couple of days pass, you wonder if he’s going to make the deadline for the art show he mentioned.

You didn’t ask him if what he was painting was for that event because you were confident you weren’t going to get an answer from him. But you’re hoping that he’ll be done soon because you miss him. This is the first time since you’ve met that his attention has been on something longer than it’s been on you. You try to ignore the jealousy you’re feeling, but sometimes it can’t be helped.

You’ve dozed off again, and you can hear someone calling your name, but you’re trying to figure out if it’s coming from the real world or your dream world. As you start to become more aware of the voice, you can feel something rubbing at your cheek. You open your eyes slowly to see Hanta squatting down in front of you, his face level with yours.

“Hanta?” you mumble. “Are you done?”

“Yeah, I am,” he answers softly with a small smile. You look past him to see that he’s added another canvas to the three he already had. “Thank you for taking care of me, baby.”

You practically gush at the praise, that smile he always wears would make you melt like it always does if you weren’t laying down. “Of course. Can’t have my boyfriend passing out on me.”

He chuckles a bit as you yawn. “Why don’t you get in bed? I’m gonna shower, and I’ll be in there with you soon.” You make a noise of protest but slowly get up anyway. Hanta quickly kisses you on the forehead before you leave, and you make the short walk to his room, crashing on the bed once it’s in reach.

You pull the blanket up to your chin as you snuggle into the bed, getting comfortable since you’ve been sleeping on the couch for a while. You fight sleep for as long as you can, wanting to wait for Hanta to slide in next to you. You fall asleep eventually, not realizing it until you feel something running over your face.

You slowly peel your eyes open, Hanta’s face coming into view and becoming less blurry. “Hey, angel,” he whispers, and you smile weakly before moving closer to him. “Go back to sleep.”

“But I wanna talk to you,” you mumble. “I haven’t spent time with you in, like, days.” Your words are slow since you’re so tired, but you keep talking anyway. You lift your head up, resting your chin on his chest so that you can keep looking at him. “And I didn’t see you today because I had that exam.”

“Oh, shit. I forgot about that. I’m so sorry.” 

You slowly shake your head. “Don’t worry about it. I know you had stuff to do too.”

“So, how do you think you did?” he asks, smiling at how sleepy you are.

“I don’t think I did great, but I don’t think I failed either,” you respond. “But I hope that Mina passes because she’ll have to take the class again if she fails.”

“Ah, I’m sure she did fine,�� Hanta says, wrapping his arm around you as he guides your head to lie down on his chest. “Now, go to sleep, baby. You’re stupidly tired.”

“Yeah, but I wanna talk to you,” you say softly even though you’re letting the fatigue take over.

“You can talk to me as soon as you get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers, kissing the top of your head.

You went to the art gallery to see the paintings that Sero made since he wouldn’t let you see them until they were displayed. They were beautiful of course, and you were mostly impressed that he was able to finish four paintings in less than a week. Neither of you stayed long, and you helped him bring all of them back to his house.

He puts them up in his art studio, and you really look at them. “I can’t believe that you did this in so little time.”

“I had you to thank,” he says, wrapping his arms around your middle. “Having a muse is no joke.”

You laugh a little, shaking your head as you sink into him. “You always say that.”

“Cause it’s true,” he presses. “I made all of this because you were the one that pulled me away when I wasn’t making any progress. You inspired all of this.” You can’t help but smile, and when you really look at each one, you can see things in the paintings that relate to what you and Hanta had been doing for the last week.

“Well, I’m glad I could help,” you respond softly, the beauty of his paintings really hitting you when you realize that they represent the two of you. God, you really like him, and by the looks of his art, he feels the exact same way.

Second semester is well underway, and you're so glad that you didn't stack it up this time. It's not exactly smooth sailing, but you're not drowning in work and due dates this time. Since Hanta will be graduating early, he's been doing a lot of work on his senior project, which takes up most of his time when he's really focused on it. The thought makes you upset if you think about it for too long, but Hanta's always making sure that you're not dwelling on it. Just because he's graduating doesn't mean that he'll be going anywhere.

By prioritizing your time, you give yourself a lot of free time on the weekends, which allows you to really reset before the next school week. You usually spend this time catching up on your Animal Crossing island or continuing your journey of reaching perfection in Stardew Valley. You hang out with your friends if you're feeling up to it, and sometimes you find yourself forcing Hanta to take a break when you notice he's been working for too long.

"Hanta, I know your hand is hurting like a bitch," you comment after you've seen him shake his hand multiple times as he looks over his work. "At least lay with me," you try, pulling softly on his wrist. "You've been working nonstop, you can't keep doing this."

He finally stands with a sigh, a tired smile appearing on his face when you look up at him, your smile beaming. You pull him into his room, and he lays on top of you when you get on the bed. You grab your switch as you start to explain everything that you've been doing so far in the games you're playing. His breathing starts to become more even, a little slower, so you lower your voice as you continue talking.

"I love you." You freeze mid-sentence because you were sure he was fast asleep. You pause your movements before you look down at him, and he's looking at you, his eyes half-open.

"What?" you whisper, his words finally starting to register in your head.

"I love you," he repeats. "You don't have to say it back, don't worry," he adds. "I just wanted to tell you because it's all I think about when I look at you." You let your hand fall to the side as he talks so that you can really look at him. "I really love you, like a lot."

You can tell he's about to fall asleep because his words are starting to jumble together, but you're still at a loss for words. "And I love when I wake up next to you, and I love how you take care of me," he continues before rubbing his face against your chest. "I really got lucky with you."

It's the last thing you hear him say before he finally goes to sleep, and you feel so overwhelmed with emotions, you don't know how to feel. You fight the tears in your eyes that you're certain came from your overwhelming happiness before you rub over his head.

He stirs a bit, but he doesn't wake up, and you stare at him for who knows how long before you get back to your game.

~

Hanta’s laying on the bed, half-watching the show that’s playing on the TV. He adjusts himself against the headboard once his lower back starts to ache a bit as he hears you coming back from the bathroom. His attention is totally focused on you when you carefully walk into the room, your attention on your phone. 

Your hair is slightly damp from detangling it in the shower, but Sero's more fixated on what you're wearing. You've got a lot more skin showing than usual, a tight fitting tank top on your body, and the lower half is only covered by your underwear.

He quickly moves over to your side of the bed as you plug your phone up, and he catches your wrist when you set it on the nightstand. "What's this?" he questions softly, making a point to only look at your body, and you look down at yourself before you look at him with a frown.

"What's what?" you say, sliding your fingers in between his. "My clothes?" you add with a quick laugh. He pulls you towards the bed, and you easily follow, getting on the bed on your knees before he guides you to sit in between his legs with your back against his chest.

You get comfortable, relaxing against him as he looks down your body over your shoulder. "It's different," he mumbles, resting his hands on your hips, one of them playing with the hem of your tank before dipping underneath to rub at your skin.

"Good different or bad different?" you ask quietly, and Hanta keeps his eyes on your chest, continuing to touch your body as he watches your nipples harden, eventually peaking through the material.

"Oh, sweetheart," he starts, finally looking you in the eyes. "There is nothing bad about this." Both of his hands make their way under your shirt as you gently place your hands on his thighs. "Why the change, hm?"

You were kind of hoping he wouldn't notice, but you are wearing something that you haven't really worn before, at least not at his house. You usually wear his shirts and shorts to bed, occasionally underwear if you feel like it, but you've never worn anything this revealing before.

You can thank Mina for that. You had been thinking about doing more with Hanta, but you didn't know how to start the conversation without being so awkward. So, you asked Mina and she said that this would help, but you don't know if you can even bring yourself to say it.

It took you about five minutes after putting your clothes on to walk out of the bathroom. "I just get hot at night sometimes," you say softly, looking away.

"Really?" he hums before his fingers reach your tits where they rub over them gently, purposefully avoiding your nipples. "Well, as long as you're comfortable." You don't respond, your breath catching in your chest a little due to Hanta touching you.

You try to focus on the show that's playing, but it's impossible. Your legs slide across the bed and against his legs as his hands divide into two paths across your body. One of his hands rubs in between your legs, but he keeps his fingers over your panties.

His other hand rubs over your stomach before he softly cups your tit. His finger gently rubs over your nipple, and your toes curl as you bite your lip, having such a hard time keeping quiet. He dips his fingers further down your body, smirking to himself when he can feel how you're soaking your underwear.

"Hanta," you mumble when you feel his lips on your neck.

"What?" he teases, letting his fingers dip under your panties, and you jump a bit when they immediately find your clit. You moan quietly when he rubs at your sensitive bud, and he moves his hand up to pull your shirt above your boobs.

He plays with the most sensitive parts of you, your head eventually falling back on his shoulder as your legs starts to struggle to stay open. You grab onto his wrist gently, but he doesn't stop touching you, and you almost forget what you were actually trying to do in the first place.

You don't know if you can even bring yourself to say it, and in your head you say that you need more time to boost your confidence, when in reality, Hanta's fingers are just too good. You let your eyes close as his fingers prod at your entrance, moving his hand from your chest so that he can continue to rub at your clit.

He doesn't even have to slide his fingers all the way in for you to feel your orgasm rising. You turn your head to the side, your grip on his wrist tightening as he kisses you softly. You can barely keep up with it, and he uses your distracted state to claim your mouth, letting his tongue move around yours before sucking on it.

You gasp into his mouth, your back arching away from him, and Hanta smirks as he watches you before turning his attention to where his fingers disappear under your panties. "You close?" he whispers even though he already knows the answer, his smirk turning into a smile when you quickly nod your head.

Your face screws up in that way that he loves, and you start to move into his fingers, which causes you to grind against him. He's already hard, so you moving gives him a little bit of challenge as his focus gets split just a little. His jaw clenches as he focuses on you and making you cum, encouraging you through it.

You cum with a gasp of his name, your body shaking as you try to keep moving your hips. He keeps his fingers moving until you start to settle down, and he easily slides them into his mouth after taking them out of you. You call his name again, and he hums as he looks down at you.

Your eyes are barely open, but he can see how your pupils are blown wide, and he'll never get tired of reducing you to this state. "What's up, baby?" he asks, using his other hand to rub over your tummy again.

"More," you start, and before he can press you about what you mean, you move your face into his neck.

"Can't give you what you want if you're not looking at me, angel," he counters softly, grinning when he can hear you whine a little.

You take a couple of deep breaths before he feels you move your head. "I wanna feel you," you mumble, "...inside me."

Hanta feels his world stop for a little bit as his dick twitches. His breath gets caught in his chest for a second, but he recovers quickly. "You sure?" You nod quickly. "I don't wanna hurt you," he continues even though there's nothing more that he would love to do.

"Maybe just the tip? I don't care, I just wanna feel you." He can't stop the groan that comes out of him. "Please, Han."

"Okay, okay, baby. I gotcha," he coos softly, moving so that he can lay you down. You watch him straddle you, and you look down to see that he's very much hard. He kisses you gently, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. "Are you sure?"

You nod quickly again, reaching for the top of his shorts, but he's quick to put his hands on top of yours. "And you'll tell me if you wanna stop."

"Yes, Hanta," you answer quickly. "I promise." You look him in the eye to let him know that you mean it. You try at his shorts again and this time he lets you, helping you slide them down to his knees. He pulls your underwear down and off your legs as you admire what's in between his legs, and you can feel your nerves start to come back.

Now that you're starting to lose that post-orgasmic high, your thoughts are starting to run wild again. You watch as he reaches into his nightstand, pulling out a condom, and reality starts to set in for you.

He looks at you again before he opens it like he could feel how nervous you are. "We don't have to do this, sweetheart," he reminds you again.

"I-I know, but I want to," you answer before your eyes trail down again. "You're just...really big," you breathe, saying the last part under your breath.

"And I'm not gonna go all the way unless you want me to, okay?" He leans down to kiss you, taking his time to help you ease your nerves. You can hear him rip the wrapper open, and you pull away to look at his hands.

"Do we really need that?" you ask, your voice genuine.

"Yeah," he answers, nodding his head. "I don't trust myself," he adds, but you don't seem to hear him because you're watching him slide the condom on. It's been a while for him, and he definitely doesn't trust his pull-out game, especially if he goes in raw. He grabs a pillow, having you lift your hips up so he can slide it under you.

You jump when you feel his fingers touch your hole, and he's quick to rub your thighs with his other hand. "Relax, baby, just breathe." He moves a little closer to you on his knees so that he can keep your legs open, and he uses his thumb to rub at your clit as he stretches you open.

You're still a little sensitive from your orgasm, but it doesn't take long for you to start soaking his fingers. "You ready?" he asks, and you nod quickly, giving him a verbal confirmation He guides himself towards your entrance, and he continues to rub your leg. "Relax, okay?" he whispers before he moves again. He rubs at your clit, which is definitely welcomed when you feel him start to push in.

It's definitely bigger than his fingers, and you wince just a bit, your breath catching for a second. The stretch starts to feel good though, and you can't help but moan as he keeps moving after you urge him to by gently pulling on his arm. You look up at him when he groans, seeing that he's let his head fall, stilling himself as he lets his hands fall beside you on the bed.

"How you feeling?" he asks after he takes a deep breath, lifting up his head to look at you.

You look down at where he's currently disappearing inside of you as you nod. "I'm okay, it feels kinda weird," you say honestly. "But you feel good." A low moan escapes him before he carefully bends his arms so that he can kiss you. "Can you move?" you ask against his lips.

He nods, moving inside of you a little deeper before sliding back out. It's not enough to really make you feel anything crazy, but you do feel better and lot less nervous about the whole thing. You spread your legs open a bit, watching him move, and you don't tell him to move any further inside of you, but you really do like feeling him inside of you. "Does it feel good for you?" You notice that he's been usually quiet, and you look at him, his eyes opening right after you do.

"Yeah," he sighs. "Really good." He groans again, and he didn't think that he could shake this much. His body is vibrating as he tries to keep his pace steady without going any further, but you're so tight, your pussy so snug around him. Suddenly, he's slowly sliding out of you, making you gasp, before he stutters out a breath. "F-Fuck, I can't--I can't," he gasps. "Sorry, baby."

"What's wrong?" you ask, watching his chest heave. He kisses you instead of answering you at first, trying to calm himself down first.

"Can't control myself," he mumbles against you. "You feel too good, and I don't wanna hurt you."

"O-Oh," you say, feeling heat rush to your face even though it's pretty warm, and you look away from him before you speak. "But I still want you to cum," you admit, having a hard time holding his eyes.

"Yeah?" he muses, smiling at you. You nod, shyly diverting your gaze, only looking at him when he lifts himself up. He sits back on his legs, and you watch him slide the condom off, chucking it into the trashcan. He sighs as he pumps himself, and you can't help but watch until he grabs your legs.

You let him move you, wondering what he's doing as he starts to lift your legs by your knees. He straightens your legs, moving them to the side so your ankles rest on his shoulder. You gasp softly when you feel him slide in between your legs, and he feels so hot against your skin.

He starts move his hips slowly, and his movements rub against your clit which causes you to release a quiet moan. His hips slap against the back of your legs as he speeds up his thrusts, and you can see the tip peaking out every time he moves forward. You try to squeeze your thighs together, and he moans as he starts to lean forward, pushing your legs to your body.

"Shit," he groans, and you can feel yourself getting wet just watching him lose himself as he fucks your thighs. He plants his hand on the bed next to you as his hips start to lose their rhythm. He moans as his eyebrows crease, and you gasp when you feel something warm hit your stomach.

You look down to see him shooting onto your skin, slamming his hips against you a couple more times before he slows. He lets your legs go, and you immediately let them fall around him as he catches his breath. "Fuck, that was so good," he sighs, and he gets up so that he can clean you up as you roll your ankles, trying to circulate the blood in your feet.

He cleans the both of you up, and he lays down next to you, rolling over onto his side as he moves you into the same position. "You okay?" he asks, rubbing over your body. You hum your answer before he kisses you on your forehead. You both listen to the show playing on the TV, but neither of you is watching, just focusing on each other's breathing.

"As much as I love seeing you barely wearing anything, you could've just asked me," he says suddenly, and you feel your face warm.

"I know," you mumble, and he chuckles quietly, kissing your skin again in a quick apology.

You fight tears for as long as you can when Hanta graduates. You're happy for him of course, and you find yourself laughing when all of your friends joke that he ditched them and won't be suffering with the rest of them. Since it's the summer, you all have plans to hang out over the break, just a way to get away from school and just have some fun.

You all decide to go to the beach, which is very predictable, but you all had been saving up money, and you all wanted to spend time with Hanta before he goes on and does whatever he's going to be doing. Because everyone's exam schedule is different, you all decide to just get to the hotel on your own time. You and Hanta go together, getting there before everyone else.

You have a couple of days until everyone else gets here, and you spend those days at the beach or in the hotel if it's too hot. When everyone finally gets to the beach, the rest of the week goes by in a blur. You all go to escape rooms, sightseeing, try all kinds of restaurants, and of course, spend time at the beach.

You ask Hanta to rub sunscreen on your back, which just leads to him trying to convince you to let him do your whole body. He pouts when you tell him no, sulking on the blanket he has on the sand, and you roll your eyes before applying the rest of your sunscreen. You play in the water with Denki and Jirou for a while before the heat starts to get to you. You leave them alone since they somehow still have so much energy.

You lay down on your blanket next to Hanta, and he doesn't move when you lay down or when you were walking toward him. He has sunglasses on, so you assume that he's asleep. You dry yourself off a bit before you move to lay on your stomach, scrolling on your phone as you look around the beach.

You nearly jump out of your skin when you feel something touch your ass, and you look over your shoulder to see Hanta's head facing toward you. You yelp softly when he squeezes, pushing his hand away. "Hanta, you can't do that," you laugh, moving his hand away when he tries to touch you again.

"But you look so good," he tries, and you brush his hand away once more before you shift out of his reach.

"You can touch me all you want at the hotel," you argue lightly, shaking your head as you look at your phone again. You can see Hanta get up in your peripheral, but you don't think much of it. You sit up getting ready to turn over when Hanta pulls you to your feet. "What are you doing?"

He suddenly picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder before he grabs your stuff with his other hand. You shout in surprise before you start laughing, telling him to put you down at your hit his back softly with your fists. Since your hotel is on the beach, it doesn't take him long to reach the doors, and he sets you down right before he gets to the building.

He doesn't give you time to catch your breath, pulling you into the hotel and toward your room. You wonder what in the world has gotten into him, and he barely lets the room door close before his hands are all over your body. "Hanta, what the hell are you doing?" you ask lightly, but you don't stop what he's doing.

"I'm touching you all I want," he jabs, and you laugh as you roll your eyes.

"But I'm covered in sand," you try, and you think he ignores you, but he's pulling you toward the bathroom. He turns the shower on, undressing himself before he quickly undresses you, checking the water before getting in the shower with you in tow. "Hanta, you don't even--"

"Why are you being so mean to me?" he whines as he presses you against the wall. Your back arches, pushing your body into him because the wall is so cold. "Just let me love on you." You can't help but laugh, but you rest your arms around his shoulders as he lets his hands rub over your body. He stares at you, the loving look in his eyes still making you nervous despite seeing it all the time.

"I love you," he says, squeezing your hips before letting his hands rub up your back.

"So, I've been told," you tease, and you stand on your toes to reach his lips. He hums when you kiss him, leaning down so that you don't have to keep standing on your toes.

"You're so beautiful," he tells you softly.

"Someone has also told me that," you laugh before you look down to yawn, blinking rapidly as your eyes start to water. "I wanna take a nap," you whisper, even though it's pretty obvious. Hanta moves so that you're under the stream, and you let him wash your body, neither of you says a word, letting the silence along with the sound of the water running fill the air.

He takes care of you before he takes care of himself, drying you off first before moisturizing your skin with your lotion. You lightly push him away so that he can dry off because the water dripping from him lands on your skin and it's freezing cold. You get dressed, spreading out on the bed before you curl into yourself as you roll onto your side. You get under the blankets, rubbing your legs against the sheets as content floods your system.

You hear Hanta slide into the bed next to you, but you don't turn around, feeling his hand rub over your body. You eventually grab his hand, lacing your fingers with his. He kisses all over your face and neck, making you giggle before you roll over to face him. You adjust your hand, letting go of his to turn it around before holding his hand again.

You shift up a bit so you can kiss him, the action making the both of you smile immediately. You kiss him again and again and again until he chuckles. "What's up with you?" he whispers, and you pull away but keep your face close to his.

"Nothing," you say playfully with a shrug. "I'm just really happy."

"Yeah?" he says, his smile widening.

"Yeah," you respond quickly with a nod as your smile widens with his. You kiss him again before you rest your top half on his. He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand while his other hand rubs over your back. You can feel that fatigue you felt earlier in the shower creep up on you, yawning loudly as you let your eyes close.

You wake up, wondering when you went to sleep, finding yourself in bed by yourself. You sit up slowly, stretching as you try to wake up, and the clock on the nightstand tells you that you've been sleeping for about an hour. Hanta is walking out of the bathroom as you blink heavily, really trying to get the sleep out of your eyes.

"How'd you sleep?" he asks, getting back into bed. Before you can answer, he's already laying down, gently taking you with him.

"I'm still so tired," you mumble, snuggling into him.

"Mm, I bet," he hums. "You've been out in the sun all day." You didn't really make any progress with trying to wake yourself up, and with Hanta's body heat radiating against you, it's an even bigger fight. "Go back to sleep. I need you well rested for a later tonight."

"Hm? What's tonight?" you whisper as you start to go in and out of sleep.

"A surprise." You feel him kiss your forehead, and you smile subconsciously, completely forgetting to question him about the surprise as you fall back asleep.

~

You have a lot more energy when you wake up the second time, seeing that the sun is already starting to set. Hanta's out of bed once again, telling you that you need to get ready when you sit up. He still won't tell you what's going on, but you get out of bed and head to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face. You walk back out to get dressed before you go back into the bathroom to put some earrings on.

Hanta walks into the bathroom when you put the last one on, and you smile at him through the mirror. He returns it, wrapping his arms around you before kissing you on your head. "You look beautiful, angel." You lean back into him, letting your head fall back so that you can kiss him.

"Thank you," you whisper. "Are you gonna tell me where we're going?"

"Nice try," he smiles, and you playfully roll your eyes at another failed attempt. "But I do have something for you." You raise your eyebrows in interest. "Close your eyes, okay?" You move your head back down before you let your eyes close, and you can hear him moving behind you.

You jump a little when you feel something cold touch your neck, and you wait until he tells you to open your eyes. When you open your eyes they automatically fall on the necklace he's put on you. You step forward, closer to the mirror, to look at the gold jewelry, seeing his name caged in by two roses; the flower that he put in your hair when you first started hanging out with him.

"I love it," you say, running your fingers over it. "It's so pretty."

"Like the girl that's wearing it," he muses, and you can't help but laugh, turning around to give him a hug.

"Thank you, Hanta."

"You're welcome, baby." You pull away, finally taking him in since you're not blocking your own view in the mirror. The first thing you notice is that he's not wearing the necklaces that he usually is, instead it's the same one you're wearing except your name is the one on it. You freeze for a split second before you run your fingers across it.

"You got one too?"

"Of course," he answers, tilting your head by your chin so that he can kiss you. "Cause I'm all yours." The statement makes your face warm, but pride swells in your chest at the same time because he's right. And you're all his. You wrap your arms around his neck to kiss him again, and you fight the urge to whine when he pulls away too soon. "C'mon, we're gonna be late."

He pulls you out of the bathroom so that you can put your shoes on, and you follow him out of the hotel room, letting him lead the way since you still don't know what he has planned. Since the sun has started to go down, the air is much cooler at night, and there's a nice breeze that carefully blows through the air when you step outside. With the light from the sun starting to disappear, the boardwalk is lively, all of the lights starting to light up the sky.

He takes you there first, and it's got food, games, and rides. There are people everywhere, and he holds your hand the entire time as you walk around, taking it all in. Once you get there, he lets you take the lead, following wherever you go. The first thing you think about is food since it's all you can smell, and you spend a good portion of your time just trying to narrow down your options.

You're finally able to pick one once your stomach starts growling for you to feed it something, and Hanta ends up getting food from your second choice so that you can try it also. You don't get a lot of food because you know you're going to be doing a lot of walking, so you don't want to stuff yourself full. You head towards the games first, starting with the ones where you have to compete with Hanta.

You only win a couple of the games, but you're happy nonetheless especially since Hanta gives you all the prizes he wins. You move through the area, having a hard time hiding your gasp every time you see a stuffed animal prize that you want. And every time you do it, Hanta is immediately going over to the booth to win it for you. Both of you can barely carry anything, and you can't help but laugh at yourself as you walk through the boardwalk.

Your feet start aching after a while, and your arms are starting to burn from holding everything for so long. Hanta tells you to wait right outside of the boardwalk before he takes the stuffed animals that you're holding. He reassures you that he can hold them all before he walks away, and it's not even five minutes until he comes back empty-handed.

"Please don't tell me that you ran to the hotel and back," you say hesitantly, letting him grab your hand and walk you in a different direction.

"No, I asked Denki if he could hold them for you," he tells you after he chuckles. "I had more planned tonight, so I asked him to take them." You want to ask him what else he has planned, but you notice that you're coming up on the Ferris wheel. You get lucky with your timing because you barely have to wait to get on it.

Hanta lets you get in first before he slides into the cart next to you. It takes a while for you to get to the top since everyone stops at the top of the wheel, but you reminisce about the time that you're spending with Hanta nonetheless. He keeps you close to him with his arm wrapped around you so that you're tucked into his side, and you take in the sights around you as you get higher.

You start to take pictures once you get high enough to see a lot of stuff, and Hanta watches you fondly the entire time, happy that you seem to be really having fun. Your excitement starts to dwindle into awe as you reach the top, really taking in everything that you can see. "God, this is so pretty," you admire, nearly getting lost in everything you're looking at.

"Yeah, it is," he whispers, causing you to finally look at him only to find him looking right at you.

"You're not even looking at the view," you joke.

"Why would I when you're the best thing my eyes have seen?"

"You're always saying that," you counter as the blood rushes to your face, and you try to shift your attention back to the sky, but he stops you quickly by softly catching your chin.

"Because it's true, and I'm gonna keep saying it. You're the prettiest damn woman I've ever seen," he declares. "You take my breath away every time I see you first thing after I wake up."

"Hanta." He smiles fondly at your reaction, chuckling a little as he watches you.

"I love you so much," he continues, and you want to tell him how you feel the same way, but it's hard for you to get your words out in the way that you want. You know Hanta knows that, and you hope that you can find the words that you want to say, but you decide to worry about it another time when he kisses you.

You miss the view at the very top of the Ferris wheel in favor of letting yourself melt into him, but you're not upset about that at all. You sigh softly when he deepens the kiss a bit as he starts to lean forward. It makes you move backward until you're pressed against the window at the same time you feel his hand sneaking up your leg.

"Are you really trying to feel me up right now?" you question playfully, and his smile tickles your lips as he his hand continues its path.

"What if I was?"

"People can probably see us, Hanta," you try even though you make no move to stop him.

"Well, then you shouldn't have worn something that gives me easy access."

You scoff softly. "Hey, that's not fair--" He cuts you off gently by kissing you again, bending one of your legs at the knee so that your foot is resting on the seat. He nudges your other leg away, and he slides closer to you, further trapping you in between the wall and him. Your hands dig into his shoulders as you feel him reach in between your legs under your dress.

You gasp when he starts to rub over your covered pussy, and you can barely feel the Ferris wheel starting to move again. You want to be embarrassed about how anyone could see you, but right now it's only making you even more aroused. "Hanta," you whisper, barely able to get his name out since he's starting to reach into your underwear. "W-We're going down."

He just hums into your mouth before carefully pushing his tongue inside, and you easily let him. "How does that make you feel?" he asks, and he's barely got his finger pressed against your entrance, but he can feel how you're throbbing at the thought. "Someone seems to be into it," he teases, and he pulls away, finally looking at you with a cheeky smile.

He lets his thumb rub over your clit, and you glance out the window to see that you're getting lower. You're caught in between wanting to push him away or pull him closer, and a stifled moan leaves your mouth. He kisses you again, this time a lot sloppier than before, the wet sounds of your mouth slotting together echoing in the cart.

He pulls away, a string of saliva the only thing keeping you connected until he breaks it. He slides his hand from between your legs, smiling at how gone he nearly has you. "You're so mean," you say breathlessly with a small pout. He kisses your forehead in apology as he closes your legs and fixes your dress.

"You love it though, right?"

"No," you huff, shoving him a little, but both of you know that you don't mean it. You're still flustered when you get off the Ferris wheel, and in the back of your head, you're wondering if someone really did see what you were doing. You let Hanta take your hand and guide you through the slew of people, and you're looking at your surroundings when you stop suddenly. Hanta quickly stops when you pull against his hand, turning around to see what made you stop.

"There's a photobooth!" you exclaim, pulling Hanta in the direction of it before he can even respond. There's no one inside when you pull the curtain aside, and you slide inside with Sero right behind you. Although, it's made known immediately that there definitely isn't enough room for the both of you on the seat because of how big he is. He waste no time sitting you on his lap, and you give him a look.

"What?"

"Behave," you say playfully, not needing to say much for him to understand. All he does is smile at you, but his hands stay on your waist, and you queue up the camera. You take so many pictures to the point where all you see is the negative image of the flash every time you blink.

You both smile at the camera for the first couple before Hanta plants his lips on your cheek for one. You do the same for another before he can't help but kiss you which last for a couple of takes. You both pull away to laugh, only looking at each other and completely forgetting about the camera.

"You havin' fun?" he asks, and you nod instantly, the big smile on your face enough of an answer for him. You both get out once the automated voice tells you that you're done taking the pictures, and you grab them from the holder. You smile fondly as you look at them, handing Hanta his copies.

He takes your hand in his again as you start to walk away from the boardwalk, and the night has started to become a little cooler with the wind picking up. Hanta gives you is jacket to wear before he guides you to the beach, the sand and part of the water illuminated by the moonlight.

"So, what was all this for anyway?" you ask, swinging you and Hanta's arms as you walk along the beach. He's got your shoes in his other hand as he shrugs, lifting his arm up to spin you around which makes you giggle.

"I just wanted to spend time with my girl." He pulls you into him, kissing you softly. "I know I said I wasn't going anywhere after graduating, but you never know what life throws your way," he says. "So, I want to make as many memories with you just in case it gets a little harder in the future."

"Well, I definitely won't forget this night," you tell him fondly, bringing your hand up so you kiss his. "Thank you, Hanta."

He lets go of your hand to brush your hair back. "Anything for you." You reach up on your toes to kiss him before you back away from him.

"I have a really crazy idea." He raises his eyebrows, watching you slide his jacket off, and they go even higher when you take your dress off after.

"Didn't think you'd be into skinny dipping, baby," he muses even though he's not going to object this at all.

"It's too cold to get totally naked," you argue. "But you gotta catch me," you tease, slowly tiptoeing backward, and Hanta's quick to start shedding his clothes. You turn around, shivering a bit when your toes touch the icy cold water. You're wondering when Sero's about to get undressed, and you scream when you're suddenly in the air.

You can hear Hanta laughing as he runs into the water with you in his arms, and he plops you down in the water. You yelp again at how ridiculously cold it is, your body instantly starting to shiver, and Hanta turns you around so he can put your hair up into a bun. "You're an ass. This water is freezing!" you scold playfully, rubbing your hands over your arms.

"Oh, it's not that bad," he responds before splashing you with water. You freeze as your mouth drops open, your body processing what just happened. When your brain finally catches up, you're quick to retaliate, throwing water back at him. A water fight ensues, both of you laughing loudly as you both go back and forth throwing water onto each other.

You manage to push him down, and he gasps loudly as he quickly gets to his feet. "Holy shit, that's fucking cold!"

"I told you!" you say before you try to run away because you know he's going to get his lick back. It's hard in the water, and his legs are longer than yours so he catches up to you easily. He scoops you up in his arms, and you squirm as hard as you can, but it's no use. You scream through your teeth when he squats, plunging your body into the water until your head is the only thing not in the water.

At this point, you're both laughing, and you splash him with water until he finally lets you go. You both stand, shivering as you try to catch your breath. "Do you think we'd get in trouble?" you ask, and Hanta looks around before he shrugs.

"Dunno, but this water is too cold to stay in." You agree, both of you making quick moves to get out and grab your stuff. You put your clothes back on even though they get soaking wet, and you both continue to shiver as you hold hands on the way back to the hotel.

You're both dripping water as you walk through the lobby and to your room, walking fast so you can get into a hot shower as soon as possible. Hanta unlocks and opens the door, and you both rush in but quickly stop when your eyes land on all of the stuffed animals in the room. You both look around before looking at each other, your laughs filling the room a split second later.

You decide to worry about it later, making your way to the bathroom. You both shed your clothes again, and you hang them dry as Hanta turns on the water. Once the water is warm enough, you both hop in quickly, sighing in relief when the warm water hits your skin. Hanta lets you stay under the water first, rubbing over your body to help you warm up faster.

You let him under the stream next, and once you both are warmed up, you wash yourselves. You wash Hanta's hair before he washes your body, and even as you start to wind down in the shower, there's a part of you that doesn't want to be any further from him. He ushers you out of the shower to dry off while he finishes, and you wipe yourself down with the towel before wrapping it around your body.

You decide to wait for Hanta, playing with the necklace he got you while you replay everything that happened today in your head. You must've zoned out because you jump a bit when you hear the shower curtain slide across the rod. You turn around, seeing Hanta step out, immediately grabbing a towel for his body. You grab a towel for his hair, and you can't help but stare at his muscles, watching the ones in his arms move and tense as he dries off.

You try to ignore the heat that's starting to form in between your legs by walking up to him and drying his hair off once he wraps the towel around his waist. You smile at each other as he leans his head down so you can wipe his hair, doing so until the towel is wet. You let the towel fall around his neck, but you don't let go of it just yet. "Okay, so maybe getting in the water was a bad idea."

He huffs. "Oh, definitely, but it was a lot of fun." You hum in agreement, and just looking at him right now makes you realize how hard you've fallen for him. You pull on the towel gently to guide his head down to you.

"I really had a lot of fun today, Hanta," you whisper after you kiss him.

"I'm glad, angel." He gives you a soft smile, and you pull him down to kiss him again. He easily follows, and you let go of the towel in favor of wrapping your arms around his neck. You bring your lips back together when he pulls away, and the air between the two of you slowly starts to shift.

His hands run up and down your body, before he bends down a bit to grab at your thighs. Your legs immediately wrap around his waist when he picks you up, and he slides his tongue into your mouth as he walks into the room. He rubs your skin under the towel, and the touch sends pleasant shivers up your spine. He gets on the bed, moving on his knees before he carefully sets you down on your back, barely creating space between the two of you.

He grabs your wrists in one of his hands, moving your arms up over your head as his other hand starts to split your towel. You spread your legs once you feel his fingers ghost over your thigh, keeping your lips on his because kissing him feels like it's addicting; it's something you can't help but do.

You gasp when he runs his hand up your body before he pulls at the towel so that it falls to your side, the movement mimicking curtains being drawn to reveal your body. Once Hanta gets the towel off, he leaves your lips to kiss down your face toward your neck. As his lips trail down your body, his hand is trailing up your body, and you wait in anticipation to see what he touches next.

You moan softly when his mouth reaches your tits at the same time his fingers reach your pussy, which makes him smile when he feels how wet you already are. His tongue circles your nipple as he runs his fingers through your folds before swirling his finger around your swollen clit. He still has your wrists in his hand, and that paired with his weight on top of you makes you even hotter all over.

You arch into him as he sucks at your chest, your moans growing in volume as he speeds up his ministrations on your sensitive bud. He keeps your legs spread with his own, letting one of his fingers drift down to your sopping entrance. "Hanta," you whimper when you feel his fingers carefully slide into you. He finally lets go of your wrists as he moves back up to kiss you again, and your toes curl simultaneously with his fingers as he presses on that magic spot inside of you.

Your hands instantly run through his damp hair, and dig into his shoulder, finding purchase anywhere that they can. You try to grab at his arm when he starts to increase the pump of his fingers, and he pulls away to look at the pleasurable look on your face. Your mouth falls open as you feel that knot building up in your stomach, and you can barely get his name out.

"Yeah, baby," he coos, giving you a sly grin. "You feelin' good?"

You nod quickly, your back arching off the bed. "M gonna cum, Han--ah!" Your face screws up as your legs start to shake, and you swear your foot is gonna cramp from how hard you're curling your toes.

"Go ahead, angel. Lemme see it," he urges, using his other hand to gently pinch at your clit which sends you over the edge. You moan his name as you clench around his fingers, your legs tightening around him before they go limp. You attempt to scoot away from him as he finger fucks you into oversensitivity, and he gives you relief a little while after, sliding his fingers out of you.

You try to catch your breath as your chest heaves, and Hanta rubs over your thigh as you come down. Your heartbeat is in your ears, and you vaguely hear him say something, but you're quick to stop him when he's about to get off of the bed. "Wait," you start, only saying enough to get him to stay still. He stops, looking back at you, and you take a deep breath before continuing. "What about you?"

"What about me?" he teases, and you drop your eyes to the tent that's currently in his towel. He leans back over you, planting his hands next to your head before moving down until his face is inches from yours. "Hm?" he presses, giving you a deep kiss that nearly takes your breath away.

"You can fuck me," you whisper, and although your face was about to cool down, it's definitely not anymore. His smile doesn't falter, but the playful look in his eyes turns dark, and to see it in real-time makes your sensitive core throb with need.

"Really?" he breathes, and you nod quickly, lifting your arms up so that they're resting around his neck. "You sure?" he asks after he pushes a quick breath through his nose.

"Yes, Hanta. I want you to." You pull him down so that you can slot your lips against his.

"I don't have a condom," he whispers even though his resolve is two seconds from being out of the window.

"I don't care," you whine. "I want to feel you, Hanta. All of you." He groans, kissing you again before he sits up. He honestly had no idea that this would happen. Not saying that he doesn't want this, and he doesn't think that he'll be able to say no. Not with the way you're naked under him with your pupils still blown wide from your previous orgasm.

He watches you sit up, and he doesn't stop you when you pull the towel from around his waist. You softly wrap your hand around him, sighing quietly at the heavy feeling of him in your palm. He groans again when he watches you spit on his tip before you start stroking him. "Shit," he hisses, and you look up at him as you twist your wrist, squeezing your hand a little tighter.

You sit up on your knees as you continue to touch him, and you rest your head against his. "Please, Hanta," you whisper against his lips as his hips buck into your hand.

"Okay," he moans softly, taking your hand away before he carefully pushes you to lie down. He spreads one of the towels out before he grabs a pillow, sliding it under your hips. He swears when he touches himself, adding more spit to himself. He's throbbing, convinced that he's never been this hard before.

He lets go of himself to touch you again, and he slides one of your legs to the side as he rubs over your clit again. "You'll let me know if you're hurting, right?"

"Yes, Hanta, just--please," you beg again, and he grabs one of your legs before moving closer to you. He lines himself up with your entrance, and he feels like he can't breathe the closer he gets to you. He realizes that he has to snap out of it, and he leans down, giving you a chaste kiss.

"I need you to relax for me, okay?" You nod, your body starting to settle a bit, and he rubs your clit at the same time he starts to push at your tight hole. He bites his lip, trying hard to focus on you, making sure he catches any sign of discomfort. There's nothing about your body language that's telling him to stop, so he keeps going, taking a deep breath. "Fuck, you're so tight--God," he huffs, and you moan as he continues to move, but it feels like his head is swimming.

He keeps touching your clit, but he uses his other hand to squeeze at the base of his dick, knowing that there's a dangerous chance that he'll cum before he's even all the way inside of you. "Why'd you stop?" you whine, already feeling stretched but you know all of him isn't inside of you yet.

"You gotta...give me a second," he tries, letting his head fall back on his shoulders so that he can't look at you as he thinks of anything and everything that won't turn him on. Once he's settled a bit, he finally looks at you, making sure you're okay before he finally bottoms out. "Fuck me," he mumbles, rubbing his hands over your legs. "How ya feeling, sweetheart?"

You nod, taking a few seconds to let your body adjust to the new intrusion. "Good. I feel really good." Hanta smiles, leaning down so he can kiss you again, the motion making you gasp into his mouth since he's moving inside of you. "Move, Hanta," you say against him, and he doesn't think he can wait any longer.

He grabs your legs, setting them higher up his hips before he gently places his hands on your hips. Your hands are on his arms as he slides out of you, and the feeling of the first thrust suddenly takes you by surprise, so your breath hitches. But once Hanta sets a pace, all you can do is moan. Your nails dig into his arms as your mouth falls open, your eyes falling shut as pleasure fills your veins.

"OhmyGod!" Your words rush out of you when your pleasure mounts times ten as your eyes shoot open, your clit throbbing at the huge rush that you feel. "H-Hanta," you moan, your body suddenly overwhelmed, and you softly push your hands into his arms because of how you're feeling.

"Is that it, baby?" he asks even though he already knows the answer, and you can hear how loud you're being, but you can't help it. His hips start moving faster, and that in combination with him ramming into that spot inside of you makes tears form in your eyes. "Fuck, angel, you're so fucking wet," he groans, looking down at where he's sliding in and out of you.

You don't even need to look where Hanta's looking because you can hear it. The squelching is so loud in your ears, and you half a mind to cover your ears. He suddenly leans forward, and that pushes your legs up toward your body. His body weight is fully pressing into you every time his hips slam against yours, and you don't think you've ever been more aroused.

"What's wrong, baby?" he muses, picking up on how it looks like you might be going shy on him. You wonder if he's just as affected by you as you are by him because he's still able to mess with you even when he's fucking up your guts.

"I-It's so l-loud," you mumble, having to close your eyes at how embarrassed you are. "S-Shit," you moan softly, moving your hands to his back.

"That's just her telling me how good I'm fucking you," he smugly tells you, and you want to frown at him, but your eyes cross instead as you feel your orgasm approaching.

"M c-close, Hanta," you whine, your nails digging into his skin. They slip down his back every time he fucks into you, and the feeling makes him hiss softly.

"I know, I know," he grunts. "Jesus, you're squeezing me so tight." He moans loudly before he lets his body full fall onto you. He digs his knees further into the mattress so that he can keep up his pace, and he lets his forehead rest against yours. "Fuck, f-fuck! Oh, my God!" he whines. "You gotta cum, baby, please."

He knows how desperate he sounds, but with the way you're clenching around him, he can't fight it anymore. He reaches one of his hands in between your bodies so that he can rub at your clit. Your nails dig into his skin again, and the feeling just rushes straight to his dick. He's rambling at this point, not even sure if he knows what he's saying, but he does know that he doesn't have much time.

Your legs suddenly wrap around him once you cum, and his breath gets caught in his chest as he tries to fuck you through your orgasm. You hook your ankles together, and your heels dig into his lower back, trapping him. "L-Lemme out, baby," he tries. "Y-You gotta let me go, I'm gonna--"

He couldn't slow his hips down if he wanted to, and he feels like he could pass out. "Want to feel all of you, Hanta," you whisper in his ear, and he lets his head fall into your neck. "P-Please," you moan, your body easily being overstimulated since you won't let him go.

His moans are the only thing he can hear as he shoots inside of you, and he goes as deep inside of you as he can, so much that the push of his hips curl your body up. The feeling of him filling you up is weird, but it feels good at the same time, and you relax your hands as he starts to slow down, feeling his dick twitch inside of you. He lifts his head up so that he can kiss you soundly, his tongue lazily swirling around yours.

"Holy...shit," he breathes after he pulls away. He takes another deep breath, putting his forehead on yours. "You okay?" he mumbles, and you smile as you nod, running your fingers through his hair. "Shit, your pussy's so good." You can't help but huff a little at his words, but then you start to notice that his weight on you is getting heavier.

"Hanta?" you question when he finally slumps on top of you. Your eyebrows raise when he softly starts to snore, and you laugh quietly as you rub over his head. You let your legs fall a little to his sides, and once your heart rate starts to go down, you can feel how tired you actually are. He's practically crushing you, but your eyes slip closed regardless, and you let his breathing lull you to sleep.

You suddenly feel something shifting inside of you, and you immediately grimace. You peel your eyes open to see Hanta wide awake and carefully sliding out of you. When he's finally out of you, the feeling of being empty feels so weird, and you don't really like it. Hanta looks up at you when you gasp, and he gives you a soft smile. "Hey, sweetheart," he whispers. "You feeling okay?"

You hum your answer as you nod, and you wince when you try to sit up, feeling soreness in your legs and between. "Sorry, I fell asleep on you," he continues, shaking his head as he huffs at himself. "Let's get you cleaned up." You try to stand yourself once you slide to the end of the bed, but your legs shake too bad and Hanta has to catch you. He quietly apologizes before he picks you up, carrying you to the bathroom.

He holds your hand while you sit down on the toilet before he walks out of the bathroom. You take a deep breath after you pee to prepare yourself to stand up, and you swear quietly when your legs burn as you move. You flush the toilet and wash your hands, and you can hear Hanta come back in, his lower half covered with shorts. You don't feel like getting back in the shower, so Hanta cleans you up with a warm washcloth before carrying you back into the room.

He sets you on the bed before handing you his shirt to put on, and he grabs some of the snacks that you brought earlier and a bottle of water. He gets on the bed next to you as he hands you the snacks and water. "Sorry, it's not much." He lays against the headboard, and you move into him as you shake your head. He rests his arm around you as you lean your head on him.

"It's more than enough," you tell him, and you feed him a chip every now and then, half-watching the TV that he turned on while you were in the bathroom. He makes sure that you drink most of the water before he finally lays the both of you down. You guess you were sleep for about an hour, but it's still late into the night, so your body welcomes the thought of getting more sleep.

You're laying on Hanta's chest, your eyes starting to get heavy as he runs his fingers up and down your arm. As you close your eyes, you think about how much fun you've had with Hanta and how much he cares for you; it's almost overwhelming to think about. And the more you think, the more it reminds you of a conversation that you had with your mom when your parents first met Hanta.

"When did you know that you loved Dad?" you ask, and she smiles to herself as she washes the pot in the sink.

"Honestly, I just knew," she answers. "I just had this sense of security one day, and I could tell that he really loved me. That we really cared for each other." You look into the living room where Hanta's helping your dad out with something as they talk about who knows what. "That might sound like a cliché answer, but it's true."

You smile to yourself as you snuggle even more into him. "I love you." You hear his breathing stop but you keep your eyes closed. "I love you, Hanta," you repeat. He had said it first months ago, and he never pressured you to say it back. But when you think about it, you always have. You blame it on your insecurities and doubts that were subconsciously plaguing your mind without realizing it. And being here with Hanta in more ways than one has made you realize that you do love him. So much.

"I love you, too, baby." Your smile widens when you feel him kiss your forehead. For a bit, you're scared to go to sleep because you don't want this moment to end, but you know that you will have moments like this over and over again.

[nagaparadise]

Chasing Sandstorms

You are a bounty hunter that spent the last six years in pursuit of the notorious "sandstorm" Silvio. At long last, you finally found your target, but you quickly come to realize that killing him might be harder than you think.

I had this one sitting in my drafts for a while, so I think now is a good time to get it out! (Plus it kinda counts for teratovember 😆)

Female reader x Silvio (diamondback rattlesnake naga), explicit, no warnings

If you enjoyed, please help support me on ko-fi!

It was hard to close the distance between you, but you pushed yourself even further than you’ve gone before. You quickly raised your revolver, and though you didn’t have a clear aim as you did before, you were comforted in knowing that there was nobody around if you happened to miss. The crack of your revolver rang out into the air but narrowly missed Silvio’s head. Then you fired another, and another, and another, to the point where you only had half the ammo left. Tears of frustration began to drip down your cheeks, and your breathing became uneven to the point where it felt like you were choking on your own breath, but you continued to push your body forward. Everything is against you now. You couldn’t aim, see, or breathe properly, but there was still one thing you could do: run. The naga you hated, that you’ve been obsessed with for years on end, was right in front of you, and there wasn’t a single chance that you were about to let him go. So no matter the cost, you continued your perusal until your legs cramped, determined that you wouldn’t let him live long enough to see the sun rise. But to your surprise, he took a strange turn and slithered inside a small storehouse. If you had any sense of reasoning still intact, you would have thought that this was a trap, but at this point, you were operating purely on instinct. Just as you had reasoned before, you could easily get a clear shot so long as he was cornered, and now you’ll finally get that chance.

You nearly tore the door off its hinges as you ran into the storehouse after Silvio. Luckily, the storehouse was mostly barren aside from a couple of barrels of grain that were placed unevenly across the floor, stacks of hay that lined one wall, and of course, Silvio, who was in the middle, slumped over and hands rested on his waist as he attempted to catch his breath. You made no effort to restrain yourself as you flew at him, toppling his exhausted humanoid body over with ease.

Silvio yelped in surprise, and you snarled in response. Silvio lay helplessly on his back while your legs were straddled over his tail, and pointed the barrel of your gun at his nose.

“Haah…haah… Finally… I’ve got you now, bastard.”

“Haah…haah… Definitely looks that way,” Silvio tried to force a grin, but even he could admit that looking down the barrel of your revolver intimidated him. “The terror of “Sandstorm” Silvio ended by a stunning bounty hunter who had him straddled… Heh, I don’t mind the sound of that.”

“Shut up!” You exclaimed as you brought down the hammer of your revolver with a satisfying click. “Are you really cracking jokes as you’re about to die?!”

“Ain’t life just one big joke anyway? If ya can’t laugh at that, then what can you laugh at?” Silvio responded with a cocky grin. “One thing I should point out… Is that I’m not that close to death just yet.”

Before you had a chance to react, you felt a constricting pressure around your chest, then a weight around your arms, and finally, the sound of a rattle shaking just behind your head. It was Silvio’s tail, constricting around your body, pinning one arm to your body, and compressing around your hand holding the gun. You tried to move your finger around the trigger, but you were quickly beginning to lose feeling in your hand, and any sensation was instead replaced by a heavy numbness. 

“Aw, look at us! Quite the stalemate, if I do say so myself.”

“You…bast…ard!” You choked out. It wasn’t as if you were actually choking, and neither were you losing circulation in your hand, but his tail was tight enough that you couldn’t move an inch.

“Hey, look at me,” Silvio said with an uncharacteristically quiet voice. “Just calm down a sec, will ya? Look, we got off on the wrong foot, but I think we should look past that.”

“Don’t act like this was a misunderstanding! You’ve been stealing and terrorizing innocent folks for years! Your crimes aren’t something that can just—”

You just happened to look down during your rant, and under your groin, a thin vertical slit opened up on Silvio’s tail.

“What the hell is that?” You questioned with a slight tremble in your voice.

“Fuck… Just ignore it. It’s nothin’, really.”

“You can’t fool me! That’s a hidden weapon, isn’t it?”

“N-no! I’m serious, it’s nothing!” Silvio tried to plead, but his body betrayed him. Slowly, from under your groin, the tips of his twin cocks began to emerge.

“This doesn’t look like “nothing” to me! Don’t tell me these are your…”

“Oh my god, yes, they’re my cocks! Listen, you can’t blame me for gettin’ a little excited when I’ve got an attractive bounty hunter straddlin’ my tail and waving a gun in my face!”

You wanted to retort, but you couldn’t peel your eyes off the cocks that had now fully unsheathed themselves. Hard and throbbing, the shafts were an unusual forest green, which transitioned to a bright yellow towards the tips. Both were ribbed by lines that ran vertically down the shaft. The first thing that came to mind was how much they resembled the lava cactus without the spikes. The second was a thought that you would keep hidden deep in your heart until the day you died.

Silvio took notice of how mesmerized you were, and a sly smirk played on his lips. “Like whatcha see, darlin’?”

“No,” you lied.

“Y’know, I wouldn’t mind lettin’ you take ‘em for a ride. Think of it as a reward for all your hard work. After all, nobody’s ever gotten close to pinnin’ me like this before.”

“You are a piece of work, you know that? Nothing’s going to stop me from killing you!”

“Then let’s compromise: first we can have some fun, and then you can kill me. Actually, I can’t think of a better way of goin’ out!”

Your grip remained firm on your revolver. But at the same time, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from his enticing cocks. You gulped as you began to seriously contemplate his words. You would never admit that you’d want to have sex with him, but the thought of those thick cocks stuffed in your hole lit a fire in your belly. You glanced back at his face to see that infuriating grin creeping along his lips. You knew that you were playing right into his hand if you accepted, but curiosity and arousal were starting to get the better of you.

Silvio’s hands began to run along your thighs, fingertips barely ghosting the fabric over your skin as they slowly moved up and down. “Whaddya say, darlin’?”

You tried to hide your increased breathing, but there was no way he couldn’t feel your chest rise from under his tail. You were hit with a sense of relief that he couldn’t see your maddening blush in the darkness.

“You know that it’ll only take me a split second to kill you, right? Which means that by the time we’re done—”

“Yup, you’ll blow my brains out. That is, if I haven’t already blown yours,” Silvio’s fingers began to skirt around the underside of your thighs. One hand continued until it reached your groin, while the other began to loop over the opening of your bottoms. You shivered under his tail, both from one hand grazing your skin under your bottoms and his strong fingers tracing your slit from under the fabric.

“Please, there’s no way you’re that good.” You tried to maintain your composure as he lifted you with his tail, giving enough room to slip your bottoms off. In one swift motion, your underwear, bottoms, and shoes had been shed from your legs, and you gasped at the sudden cold breeze brushing past your exposed skin.

“Have you ever been with a naga, darlin’? I can guarantee you that you won’t ever forget this night,” Silvio couldn’t prevent a gasp from escaping his throat once he saw your exposed pussy. With his cocks vibrating in response, he used his tail to position you over his cocks. His cold tips felt tantalizing against your warm folds as he teasingly rubbed them over your opening. You wanted to beg for him, to plead him to stuff you, but you didn’t want to show how eager you were. Unfortunately, your body exposed your desire, and you began to involuntarily grind against his throbbing tips.

“I see someone’s excited.”

“Shut up.” 

With a chuckle, he used his tail to slowly lower you onto one of his hard cocks. A drawn out moan escaped from your throat as his cock slid into your tight pussy, stretching you to your limits. A jubilance rose through your body as his cock slithered along your walls, and reached the end of your cave, allowing your opening and clit to rest at the base of his tail. It had been so long since you’ve felt such satisfaction that you felt like crying out in joy, but you couldn’t bring yourself to express your exuberance when the cock belonged to the naga you hated the most. Though as much as you tried to hide your bliss, Silvio was able to read you like an open book. Your face was twisted in both disdain and pleasure, but you were fervently rolling your hips along the base of his tail, hoping to get any sort of friction against your walls and clit, which elicited a dreamy sigh from Silvio.

“Some bounty hunter you are. You’re practically begging your target to fuck you!”

“Go to hell—Ahhhhhn!” Your cursing was interrupted by Silvio sneaking a finger over your clit and mercilessly pressing on it. You unconsciously jerked your hips in response, which only encouraged him to continue rolling his index and middle over your throbbing bud. 

“Fuck… I’ve barely done anythin’ and you’re already wet. God, you’re so cute,” another cheeky remark from Silivo that evoked blood to rush to your cheeks. You tipped your head back, hoping that he wouldn’t see, but no matter what you did, he knew that you were enjoying every moment of his teasing. Then without warning, you began to feel his cock slowly slip out from your wet pussy. His fingers continued to play with your clit as he made his descent, but stopped as the tip of his cock reached just above your opening. Then, he stopped all movement. You held your breath as you expected him to do something, anything, but he continued to remain still. After the excruciatingly long pause, you finally looked back down, ready to yell at him, to tell him to hurry up, but you stopped yourself when you saw his placid face glistening in sweat from the moonlight. His eyes were hooded, and smile seemed oddly sincere. For a second, you thought you were looking at your beloved partner. But the illusion was quickly broken when his lips drew apart to reveal a sinister grin, accented by his fangs. “Ready, darlin’? ‘Cus I ain’t holdin’ back anymore.”

You had no chance to retort as he instantly slammed his cock into your pussy. The pleasure and pain forced a shriek from the bottom of your lungs, but Silvio was quick to coil his tail around the base of your neck and over your mouth.

“Shhh, don’t be too noisy now. We don’t need the townsfolk interruptin’ us.” Silvio cooed as he continued his swift and merciless thrusts. You couldn’t help but agree as you clenched around his thick cock, trying to get as close to him as possible, hoping that this pleasure would never end. His hands latched onto your inner thighs, fingers gently digging into your skin as he massaged them while he heaved his cocks upward, forcing the base of his cool tail to meet your swollen opening. Though you found his kneading delightful, you wished that his fingers were attending to your sensitive bud instead. But you figured he would be more keen on teasing than satisfying. Ultimately, you figured that you couldn’t complain too much when his second throbbing cock bounced against your tummy in time with his thrusts, occasionally rubbing against your clit. But to your surprise, his hands slowly moved from massaging your thighs, to reaching around to your ass. His thrusts slowly came to a pause as his fingers dug into your skin to spread your cheeks apart. Your eyes widened as you looked down at Silvio and you tried to ask what he was doing, but your voice was muffled under his tail. Once again, he looked back up at you with the same serene smile.

“I know just how much you want both of ‘em, but I don’t think you’re ready just yet for a two-in-one. Maybe next time, darlin’,” Silvio whispered, and you wanted to remind him that there won’t be a next time, but came to accept that he wasn’t going to remove his makeshift gag anytime soon. “I know this ain’t the best way to do it, but, I should be slippery enough,” he said to the side. Just as you wondered what he meant, you felt something wet prod at your second hole, then promptly pushed through, stretching your rectum until you were aligned with the cock nestled in your pussy. You wanted to cry out just from the pressure in both your holes, but you held back as much as you could. Even if he was handsome, even if his cocks felt fucking amazing, you couldn’t let either of those distract you from your goal. 

Once again without warning Silvio began his assault, relentlessly assailing your holes. Your body went limp in his tail as it narrowed in on the pressure in your abdomen, causing your grip around your gun to loosen and allowing it to fall next to Silvio’s head with a dull thump. Screams and whimpers continuously poured from your lips, interspersed with moans of Silvio’s name. He couldn’t hear you from under his tail, but he could tell exactly what you were saying from the vibrations that ran through it. 

“That’s it, honey. Tell the world whose finger you’re wrapped around.” Silvio’s grin grew wider as he watched you weaken under his grasp. But he wasn’t done yet. He wanted to see you ravaged yet satisfied, exhausted yet glowing. Pulling out all the stops, he began by moving one hand back to your sensitive clit, rolling his fingertips over its wet and sensitive surface. You flung your head back as a scream rose from your throat, and you arched your back in his tail, using whatever strength you have left to grind along his fingers. Then, while you were unaware, the rattle of his tail sneaked through the opening of your shirt, vibrating over your throat, collarbone, and stopping in the valley between your breasts. Then, he started to vigorously shake his rattle over your stiff nipples, causing you to arch back towards Silvio, and trapping his rattle between your breasts and the portion of his tail around your body. You shook uncontrollably as every nerve exploded with pleasure, as his tail muffled your cries of delight, his rattle quivered over your nipples, as your thighs and his tail became drenched in your juices, as his cocks stormed your swollen holes, and his fingers dug into your clit and cheeks. 

Just as he had hoped, you were quickly reduced to his little whimpering sub. But his confident facade was beginning to wear, and he was close to crumbling under the pressure as well. Silvio’s pace began to slow, and his thrusts started to come at random intervals. After one sloppy heave after another, Silvio pulled out slightly, leaving just the tips at your entrance. His chest sank and rose erratically as he tried to catch his breath, remaining in the position for a while. This time, you didn’t pay any mind to the long pause. You slumped in Silvio’s tail, exhausted, but satisfied. You got all you wanted from him and more, to the point where you even considered letting him go after you were finished. But your heart ached from under the intoxicating waves of pleasure, and you were starting to regret the thought of letting him go.

Your complex emotions quickly dissipated when you felt his cocks shoved inside your holes one more time. His tail crashed into your soaked opening and thighs, and you felt an eruption of cum spread inside your holes, which began to drip from your openings. Another wave of pleasure pulsated through your body, and you screamed in time with Silvio’s cursing. After the wave subsided, you slumped back into this tail, your nerves forcing you to unconsciously grind against his tail as you rode out your orgasm. Being so thoroughly exhausted, you were close to passing out on the spot until you felt a sharp jolt run through your abdomen. 

“Fuck… I haven’t felt like this in a long damn time. You oughta give up your bounty huntin’ business, ‘cus I think you’re the one for me, darlin’,'' Silvio tried to make out in between his deep breaths. In his fatigue, he dropped his tail from your mouth, which was dripping with your saliva. You considered his proposal for a split second, but upon mentioning your occupation, you remembered your objective.

“N-no way… In hell,” you spat out as you also tried to catch your breath. “No matter what, I will kill you.”

Silvio laughed lazily in response. “Well, you’re gonna hafta wait a bit. You’re in my knot, and it takes a while for the barbs to flatten.”

“Barbs?” you repeated, suddenly making sense of the sharp sensation in your holes.

“Yup. I’m sure you’re feelin’ them by now. Sharp little buggers, they are. Honestly, it’s why I don’t like stuffin’ the same hole. I love how tight you humans are, and I love fillin’ y’all with cum, but man do I hate feelin’ my own barbs,” 

“You little bast—aaahhhhhh,” just as you were about to curse him, you were cut off by another eruption of cum spreading through your holes. Though you were shocked by the initial appearance of the barbs, you quickly got used to the sensation, and even found it enjoyable. But you had to acknowledge that the fun was over, and you had to get back to business. “Th-then, how long do these things last?”

“Mmm… I dunno. An hour or two at least,” Silvio said as he began to yawn, and moved his hands from your ass and clit to stretch one above his head, while the other that glistened with your fluids moved to cover his mouth. Then, he began to slink his long forked tongue over his fingers, savouring your juices. “Fuck, you taste good. Maybe next time you’ll give me a full-course meal.”

“How many times do I have to say it, there won’t be a next ti—ah, ahhhhh,” once again, you were cut off by another wave of cum. You were starting to wonder if he was doing this on purpose. But Silvio just grinned and returned his hands to your thighs, gently tracing circles on your skin with his thumbs.

“Well, in any case it’s going to be a long while before we’re outta this rut, so I suggest ya get comfy. We’re both tired, the sun is about to rise, and between you and me,” Silvio cut himself off with another large yawn. “I think we would be better off sleepin’ tonight off, then resuming our little chase when we’re rested up. Whaddya think, darlin’?”

“Do you seriously expect me to sleep when I’m wrapped up in your tail and have barbs stuck in my—f-fuck!”

“It’s not that bad, is it? After all, you seemed to have really enjoyed getting fucked in it. And if ya want, I could use my rattle to lull you to sleep.”

“The last thing I want is to hear anything from you!”

“Oh well, can’t say I didn’t try. G’night, darlin’!”

“Wh-what?! Wait, at least let me go, you bastard! I know you’re not sleeping! Let me gooooo!!”

You desperately pleaded, but even if Silvio had uncoiled his tail, you were still stuck on his cocks. A cheeky smile played on his lips as he drifted to sleep, and you couldn’t help but notice that he looked painstakingly serene under the stark moonlight. He was a charming devil when you saw him up close, and after having spent an intimate night with him, you couldn’t even bear to pull the trigger. A chuckle rose from your lungs at your own sentimental nonsense. Six years of pursuit going down the drain just because you had amazing sex.

No. 

You couldn’t let him get away from you just yet. 

He was a dangerous criminal, and you promised the townspeople that you would kill him. And you always follow through on your promises. But at this moment, fatigue wore heavy on your body, and you could barely keep your eyes open.

Just a couple of hours should be enough. In a couple of hours, his barbs will flatten, you’ll wake up before Silvio, and after he unravels his tail, you’ll grab your gun and pull the trigger. Yes, that sounds like a solid plan. But until then, some rest wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Your eyes fluttered open, and you were first met with the harsh rays of the sun. You slowly picked yourself up from the wooden floor of the storehouse, both hands reaching up to feel the blanket around your shoulders, while your thighs twitched uncontrollably. When you removed the blanket - which you realize that you’ve never seen before - you were shocked to see your nude lower body along with white dried flakes that covered your thighs and floor. You were about to panic until you recalled what happened the night before - or more realistically, what happened just only a couple of hours ago. The excruciating and wild chase, the excitement that your dream was about to come true, the mind blowing sex, the slight pain of letting him go, the sight of his face sleeping serenely in the moonlight. Then, you noticed your bottoms neatly folded next to a barrel, with your revolver and a scrap of paper sitting on top. You rushed to your items, ignoring the pain in your abdomen as you hastily dressed yourself. At first you barely registered the scrap paper, but curiosity got the better of you when you saw it next to your feet. You picked it up and read the oddly neat writing.  

Thanks for keeping me company last night.

Hope we get the chance to meet again.

Yours truly, 

“Sandstorm” Silvio 

You were livid, enraged, furious! How could you be so careless to let him tempt you like that when your gun was right between his eyes? You immediately tore up the scrap paper and got to your feet, rushing out of the storehouse. The tingling in your abdomen and thighs hindered your speed, and the townspeople tried to stop you as you rushed to locate your horse, but you couldn’t bear them any attention, nor could you explain your failure. You fled the town the moment you took to your horse, leaving behind a crowd of dazed and confused townspeople. You realized this was an impulsive decision. You have no trail, no hint, absolutely nothing to guide you in his direction. But there was one thing you did know.

The chase was still on. You two will meet again. 

And when you do—

You will kill him.

[messrsbyler]

Mike clenched his fingers around the phone and let himself slide down the wall to a sitting position on the floor. The sound of a busy line ringed in his ear, a sound he’d grown familiar to over the past few weeks.

He wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t take any of the disappointment away. Hope was a rare thing for kids like Mike in towns like Hawkins, and his was wearing thin and weak with each call that didn’t reach Will.

Mike had thought something like this could happen. The distance was imposing, after all, and not just in the physical sense. He and Will… they’d been drawing apart since before the Byers packed their lives and moved to the other side of the country. There was a fracture between them, burned bridges Mike now so desperately wanted to build back up, even when he’d started the fire in the first place.

It was just hard to accept that Will was… gone. And this time, there was no looking for him in the woods and no staying next to him in a hospital bed. This time, Will wasn’t in danger, he was just… away, out of Mike’s reach. And he had done that.

The line remained busy, but Mike didn’t hang up. Instead, he spoke.

“Hey, Will. Uhm… it’s Mike. I–" Mike paused to nibble on his lip. He felt so stupid talking into an empty phone, his own voice crackling back to his ear. But Mike had always been a person of words, the Dungeon Master and the writer. They lived inside of him, burning and tickling, filling him up. The problem had always been, he was never good at letting them out. But here, in his basement when no one else was awake and when the line kept buzzing busy in his ear… it seemed like a good place to start.

“I tried to catch you on the phone again today, but… you didn’t pick up. The line was busy. Again. I’m guessing it’s because of Joyce’s new job. El told me about it in her last letter. That’s great! That… that she got a job there, I mean. Sounds like you are building a good life in Lenora. I’m… I’m glad, really.”

Mike breathed in through his mouth and closed his eyes. His fingers twisted on the cord and he pulled a little. There was an uncomfortable tug in his stomach, small but painful. There was a lot more Mike wanted to say, a lot more he needed to say. But where to even start? The words were there, pooling in his throat, but there were so many of them that they tangled together, so when Mike try to pull on one a bunch of them appeared and there was no making sense of them.

Opening his eyes, Mike started again.

“There’s… there’s a lot of things I wanna ask you, Will. I wanna know if you like Lenora, how school is going, if you have any new friends. I…” His eyes pricked and Mike blinked away the tears. God, he was so stupid. “I wanna ask you why you don’t want to talk to me anymore,” Mike huffed in a broken gasp. “I mean, you are my best friend, Will. But right now… right now it feels like I lost you, or something. And maybe… I did? I don’t know. But I miss you. I miss having you here with me and it sucks, okay? Everything sucks. I suck and the fucking Upside Down sucks and this stupid town sucks and you suck too for not picking up the phone.” Mike was out of breath. He wasn’t sure when the tears began to fall, but they were there and now Mike didn’t think he could stop. Mike let his head hang, tears dropping to the carpet with muffled sounds.

“I… I fucked it up, didn’t I, Will?” Mike asked to the empty line. A sob climbed up his throat and got trapped in Mike’s lips. Mike gritted his teeth and pushed a hand to his mouth.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“I don’t know why I do that. I… I don’t want to but I keep breaking things and breaking people and it sucks. I’m sorry I broke us, Will.” The phone kept quiet and Mike inhale deeply, filling his lungs until he felt dizzy. “I’m sorry for calling. I… Yeah. I’m just sorry.”

Mike didn’t hang up. He didn’t trust his body to climb up and put the phone in its place. Instead, he let it hang by the cord, bumping on his shoulder.

He didn’t try calling Will again after that night.

[phoenix-downer]

Touch Cravings Chapter 2

~1320 words. Set post-KH3. Terraqua, Aqua and Ven friendship, and background Sora/Kairi. Grief, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Touch Starvation, Friendship, Romance.

Summary: Aqua is dealing with the effects of her time in the realm of darkness and then the grief of losing Sora. Thankfully, she has Ven and Terra to help her get through this chapter of her life.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

(Companion piece to Touch Hunger [Chapter 1 | Chapter 2]).

“Can I come in?” Terra asked. 

Aqua’s face was flushed with embarrassment, but she nodded. She had wanted to see him, after all, even if she would’ve preferred less awkward circumstances. 

Terra had to stoop a little to get through the door. Their rooms were in an old wing of the castle, which meant they were built back when people were shorter, and Terra was not a short man.

Aqua gulped as he drew closer. She was wearing baggy sleeping clothes and didn’t look very put together. Her bed had about five crumpled blankets on it too. These rooms got drafty at night, which was why fireplaces were in each of them. To distract herself, she quickly summoned her Keyblade and mumbled a quick Fire spell under her breath to light the fireplace. Now there was a warm, crackling fire in the corner, and its familiar sounds were relaxing and soothing.

Terra stood awkwardly by her bed. He likewise was dressed more comfortably than his usual attire: simple sweatpants and a t-shirt that still managed to be form-fitting because his muscles made it impossible not to be.

Her face flushed again, but for a much more pleasant reason this time. She patted the spot next to her, and Terra carefully sat down, making the bed creak.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so standoffish lately,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about everything and getting lost in my thoughts. But I want to be here for you and Ven.”

Her lips parted. She still wasn’t used to him being so open and honest. But he and she and Ven had talked about what had driven them apart, and bad communication was at the top of the list. So now they were all trying to get better at good communication. Which meant she should be honest too.

“Thank you,” she said. “I want that too.” 

“To be honest, I don’t really know what to do next,” he admitted. “Being back feels better than I could’ve dreamed. Being myself again, being free of Xehanort for good, being whole…it’s like I’m getting a second chance at life. But with Sora gone, it feels wrong to be happy.”

“I know what you mean. Why are we here when he’s gone? I keep replaying what happened in my mind, over and over again, thinking about what I could’ve done differently.” She smiled bitterly. “Something I’ve always been good at. Ruminating over past mistakes. I don’t need other people to torment and torture me, I do it to myself just fine.”

“You and me both,” Terra said, his head drooping and his voice heavy. “I can’t help but feel like Sora’s death is my fault.”

“I feel the same way. I told Ven earlier that that means we’ll just have to save Sora. But I have no idea how.”

A few long moments of silence passed as Terra searched her face. “We could…we could go to the realm of darkness,” he said at last.

Aqua shuddered. It was a possibility she’d considered. That place had so many ties to death that it would be silly not to at least check. But the thought of returning to that hellish place where she’d been trapped for over a decade? Her stomach roiled at the thought of it.

Playing with one of the blankets on the bed, she said, “I know it isn’t rational, I know you and Ven would be with me, but I…I’m scared of going back. I’m scared of something happening and getting trapped there and winding up alone again.”

For so long she’d been on her own. Going back to that existence was her worst nightmare. She hoped Sora wasn’t alone. She wouldn’t wish the solitude on her worst enemy. It ate you up inside, made you crave something, anything from another living being. A kind word. A gentle touch. After a while she started hearing voices and fantasizing about past touches, hoping they would happen again. Haunted by the ghosts of her own memories. No wonder she’d created a phantom out of her fears.

“You won’t be. I won’t let that happen,” Terra promised, his voice low and determined. The look on his face as the flames from the fireplace flickered across it…she knew he was deadly serious and would keep this promise with his life.

Oh how badly she wanted to touch him. Her hand twitched as she restrained it. She hadn’t realized how much she would miss human touch during her time in the realm of darkness. But after returning, she realized it wasn’t just any touch she craved the most. It was his touch.

“It’s messed up, I know,” she admitted, “but after a while…even a stray Heartless brushing up against me during battle felt good. I sometimes…I sometimes let them, even if it meant I got clawed. Just to feel something.”

He rested his hand over hers, and a pleasurable shudder went through her whole body. She noticed his hand trembling a little too. Maybe he’d been touch starved in his own way too. He’d been in the realm of light, sure, but not as himself. His heart had been trapped inside that guardian, and how often had he really gotten any sort of physical affection?

“Thank you, that feels nice,” she murmured. He tenderly stroked her fingers, and it felt even better.

“You’re not alone, Aqua.” He caressed her arm, and her breath caught. She was no slouch in the physical strength department, but his hand was so much bigger and stronger than hers and yet so gentle.

“I know.”

He cupped her cheek, and now her breathing really was shaky. It felt so good and he was being so bold and everything was overwhelming. But a good kind of overwhelming. So very, very good. She just wasn’t used to touching again yet, especially not like…like this.

He smiled as he caressed her cheek, and she rested a hand over his. She wanted to touch him too. Wanted to give him what they both craved. They weren’t alone anymore, and why not celebrate that fact? If it would help her face her fears and go back to the realm of darkness to search for Sora, then there was nothing wrong with enjoying this closeness with Terra.

No, that wasn’t it either. She wanted to be close to him for the sake of being close to him. Might as well be honest with herself about it.

“Aqua,” he murmured, running a thumb over her lips, and her breath hitched. A part of her felt like this wasn’t real: the look in his eyes, the feel of his hand, the warm fire crackling in the corner. The fact they were in her room, alone, together. That he wanted her and she wanted him and they both craved each other’s touch and company. But it was real. It was real, and she wanted to savor every moment.

He leaned close, and her eyes fluttered shut. His lips brushed against hers, and all the bad memories fighting for her attention melted away. In this moment only the two of them mattered. She wasn’t alone. She was here with him, and in these stolen moments they could make up for lost time.

She wrapped her arms around him as he deepened the kiss, and he did likewise. Embracing at last. Oh, they’d hugged before, but never like this. If she’d been starving for all those years, she was now at a banquet for two and not entirely sure where to begin. But they would figure it out together, she was sure of that.

She’d saved him all those years ago, and now, in his own way, he was saving her. Or maybe it was more accurate to say they were saving each other. Ending the loneliness and solitude and longing for affection that had plagued them both.

Whatever it was, she was glad they had each other.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thank you for reading!

[julietpricee]

Day 6 - Sharpuary (Kneazle)

My last few prompts were a little angsty so have some more fluff for this prompt, enjoy! ❤️

“You’re clock-watching again.” Nurse Blainey teased you, making your face turn bright red.

Every Thursday, around five o’clock, you’d find yourself getting embarrassingly excited about Aesop's routine visit. He had made a habit out of visiting you in the Hospital Ward to top up your supply of potions.

“I can’t understand why you don’t just tell him how you feel” she continued with a soft chuckle.

“Noreen!” you exclaimed, hitting her arm playfully. “I told you, it’s not like that.”

Who were you kidding? It was exactly like that.

Noreen let out a hearty laugh. “Yeah, ok, if you say so.”

You tried to busy yourself but quickly fell idle, twiddling your thumbs as you leaned against the desk, watching the minutes tick by. 

It was ten past five. 

“Do you think he’s ok?” You asked Noreen. “He’s never been late before.” 

Noreen was busy at the far side of the room but you still managed to see her eyes roll at you. “He’s got a life you know, he’s probably busy with work.” She called out. 

You turned back to face the clock, letting your mind wander and overthink. You were so deep in thought you didn’t hear Noreen creep up behind you. 

“Maybe he’s on a date” she whispered in your ear before erupting into laughter. 

You tutted at her, shooing her off as you desperately tried to busy your mind. 

The next time you glanced at the clock it was twenty-past-five which caused you to panic. Aesop had many qualities but tardiness was definitely not one of them. 

“Noreen, I’m just going to check on him. My shift’s over at half past and I’d like to sort out the potions before I leave.”

She chuckled at you once more, as you proved to be a great source of entertainment. “You need to work on your excuses, but go ahead.”

You quickly pulled your coat over your shoulders and scurried out of the hospital wing. As you descended the stairs you eyed the door to Aesops' chambers. You’d never actually stepped foot in there, but you had shared many late-night conversations with him as he towered in the door frame. You started to walk past it, heading for the potions classroom but stopped abruptly in your tracks as you heard a kerfuffle and a high-pitched squeal from inside his room. 

“Aesop?” you called out as you approached his door. 

Once again you heard a loud bang and started to panic, instantly going to the worst-case scenario, worrying he’d fallen over and was lying on the ground unconscious. You tried his door handle and slowly opened it when you found it to be unlocked.

Nerves flooded your body as the door crept open, knowing you were about to cross a boundary by entering his private chambers. His musky scent of sandalwood and fire whiskey hit you immediately, bringing a strange sense of calmness to your nerves. 

As the door fully opened you stood in awe at the sight in front of you. 

His room had been completely trashed, but more concerning than that, a large Kneazle was wandering freely around the living space and Aesop, the stern, well-put-together professor who towered over any student, intimidating them with a simple glare, was standing on top of a table cowering from the beast in pure terror. Needless to say, you burst out laughing. 

“Don’t just stand there!” He shouted at you. “Help me.”

“Help you?” You questioned him, wiping a tear from your eye as you managed to stop laughing. 

“Yes! My wands on the side, I’m trapped.”

You watched Aesop flinch as the Kneazle completed another lap around the table he remained standing on. Out of kindness, you shut the door to his chambers, shielding him from any prying eyes, but you couldn’t help but laugh and admire the sight that presented itself in front of you. 

“So, you’re afraid of Kneazles?” You asked him, leaning against the door with your arms crossed.

“I’m not afraid,” He corrected you, trying to appear brave. The Kneazle sat down looking up at Aesop and let out an enormous yawn, making him nearly fall off the table in a panic. “They’re just unpredictable beasts… I’m not a fan.”

You chuckled at the sight, making no attempt to help him. Aesop grew frustrated.

“Ok, fine! I’m afraid of them!” He shouted. “Just please, help me.”

You meandered over to the Kneazle, scratching its head as it rubbed against your leg.

“Well, I don’t think you’re scary,” you said in a baby voice to the oblivious Kneazle. You looked up at Aesop once more, letting a snigger escape your mouth before you conjured the nab-sack to remove the beast. “Better?” you ask him, offering your hand for him to get down.

Aesop rudely, but understandably, disregards your hand and climbs off the table, trying desperately to hold on to his last little shred of dignity. You both stand in silence for a minute, staring into each other's eyes, waiting for the other person to speak.

Suddenly your eyes widen and once again you burst out laughing. “You screamed!” You manage to state breathlessly. “I heard a high-pitched squeal! It was you!”

Aesop’s face turns bright red and he begins to protest. “No. It wasn’t me. It must have come from somewhere else.”

You somehow manage to compose yourself after choking on your full-bellied laughs. “Your secret is safe with me,” you assure him with a gentle pat on his arm. “How did it get in here anyway?”

“Weasley.” He grumbled. “If you’ll excuse me, I have an eternity of detentions to hand out.”

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53448181/chapters/135602269

[gingerylangylang1979]

Another fanfic rant

People are really demanding of fanfic writers. I just read someone complaining about there not being enough The Bear fanfic, what they read is out of character, Carmy and Syd are written straight, blah, blah. 

People can write the characters how they want. We aren’t trying to reproduce the canon show. If we were it wouldn’t be fanfic. I can’t write like the actual screenwriters. Some people try to write close to canon characterization, others don’t. This comment is also contradictory because canon Carmy and Syd aren’t written as not being straight, at least up to this point. So how is fanfic written with them straight out of character? And there are fics with both written as queer, so that’s not even true. Viewers can’t even agree on character interpretation of canon, so how are fanfic writers supposed to “get it right” when it’s all open to interpretation? I literally just read a post from someone who didn’t get that Jon Bernthal is Mikey???!!! Anyways, people can write them however they like. Have people never heard of the terms head canon, reinterpretation, and AU? 

People need to write themselves or stop complaining. 

Also, you know what, the time and effort, I’ll say again, is only partially rewarded. I bet most of the complainers don’t bother to comment, give kudos, or share works they do like. Heck, I leave positive comments and kudos even if I wasn’t thrilled with a story. There is always something good to highlight and gives encouragement. 

I’ve written 17 chapters so far and have three to go. I am at a bit of a standstill. Why? I don’t always want to be writing. I write a lot for work and have other creative projects. Sometimes I want to just fangirl on Tumblr, which takes way less effort than constructing narrative. I also have a full life outside of fandom. I’m pretty social and have friendships to maintain and places to go. I may not get a lot of writing done the next two months. Why? It’s summer. I live in NYC. The weather mostly sucks here so when it’s nice I don’t want to spend hours at home, inside, writing. And if I am inside, maybe I want to read, watch a movie or show, clean my apartment, do a facial or manicure, cook. I dunno, other normal things. I was beating myself up about that, but whatevs. There is so much cool stuff going on, I’m going to do it. I work hard to play hard. Today I was supposed to go to the beach for a party but it’s storming so I’m trapped inside. I may write, or I may just chill because honestly I’m hungover from my fun day yesterday and don’t know how much mental energy I feel like exerting. 

I’m not going to be beholden to produce works at rapid pace to meet demand that isn’t as appreciated as it should be. 

So y’all will get chapter 18 at some point. It may not please everyone, but it will please me, and will be completed in my own time.

Thanks to all the readers who are great fans of fic writers! The ones who aren’t overly critical, leave comments, give kudos, reblog, and are patient are gold. We love you!

[dc-said-bi-robin-rights]

“I want you to stay away from my daughter,” is the first thing out of Slade’s mouth the moment Dick enters the apartment.

To his credit, Grayson barely startles, even though the only sane reaction to finding Deathstroke the Terminator sitting in your living room when you come home would be to run screaming from the room and swan dive off the nearest window. It’s almost like he’s been expecting him—more evidence of his daughter’s betrayal of her own blood, maybe. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t,” Grayson shoots back, tongue sharp as always, though he doesn’t move. Maybe he’s seen the silenced pistol Slade’s holding, or maybe he’s just not in the right state of mind to pick a fight. Slade should know, but he doesn’t, not really. Grayson’s been a stranger to him since Bludhaven. “Because I could have sworn the guy who asked me to train Rose in the first place just asked me to stay away from her, and that just doesn’t seem right to me.”

Slade doesn’t know how to reply to that. He should, but he doesn’t. “Situation’s changed,” is all he can muster, and it sounds lackluster even to his own ears. Hadn’t he once delighted in matching wits against Grayson, gruff barbs against his pointed quips? Hadn’t he once enjoyed this, the familiarity of being hated and respected in equal measure, the thrill of being feared, the freedom that came with his profession? Hadn’t he been good at this? Hadn’t he liked it? Slade isn’t sure he’s liked anything in a while, and that, more than anything, medio him uneasy. Not even the Herculean task of keeping the monster of his own enhanced mind chained and in its place every hour of every day compared with the sheer discomfort Slade felt whenever he was cursed with melancholy. “You’re to stay away from her from now on.”

“And if I don’t?” Grayson retorts, too quickly to disguise the genuine anger in his voice behind a curtain of empty wit. “What are you going to do about it, Slade?”

“That a trick question, kid?” Slade waves the gun in his hand. “I’ll kill you, and I’ll send your bones to the reconstruction effort so they can make a mausoleum for you next to the mayor’s.”

Grayson’s jaw tenses. Bludhaven’s newly-elected mayor had been a much-beloved figure with an anti-corruption platform that experts had theorized could reduce theft of public funds by nearly half. She had, of course, perished in the chemo bombings, but people sworn up and down to have seen the mayor personally rush into a scorched building to save a family trapped inside before it collapsed under its own weight. It was probably bullshit, but people needed heroes that weren’t mighty superheroes or genius vigilantes, and the remaining Havenites had eagerly taken the mayor on as a symbol of the city’s eventual rebirth. “You’re going to die screaming for what you did.”

Slade feels amused. “That no-killing rule of yours getting tiresome, kid?”

“Never said it was going to be me who kills you, Slade.” Of course. “But sooner or later, someone will. It’s only a matter of time before everything you’ve done catches up to you.”

“I’m sure it is, kid.” Grayson always got off-track whenever Bludhaven came up. “But as fun as arguing about by imminent demise is, it’s not what I’m here for. Are you going to promise to stay away from my daughter from now on or not?”

Grayson starts moving. “Depends. Are you going to promise to stuff that gun of yours down your neck and pull the trigger if I do?”

Slade’s gun follows Grayson as he circles around the couch. “I think you know the answer to that question.”

“Then, no, I’m not going to.”

A muffled shot rings out and a crater appears on the wall to Grayson’s head, causing the younger man to die to still. “Not even if I ask you nicely?”

Grayson’s hands very obviously go behind his back. “Nope.”

Slade stands up, keeping the gun trained on Grayson’s head. He should shoot, but he doesn’t. “Why the hell not?”

“You lost the right to have a say in her life when you drugged her,” Grayson says, confirming Slade’s suspicions about his daughter’s loose tongue, “and I’m not a big fan of people telling me what to do, anyway.”

“That’s news to me.” Slade’s lip curls into a sneer. “Or does daddy bats write his commands down now?”

Grayson’s eyes narrow. There’s a pause. And then he moves.

There’s always a grace to the way Nightwing fights, but it isn’t Nightwing who leaps at Slade in that moment, but Grayson, who had once found a home in the walled-off ruin that could still be seen from Gotham harbor and desperately loved each and every one of its inhabitants. There’s no agility in his tackle, only the hateful strength of a grieving man, and Slade had thought Grayson was smarter than that because Slade would always win a strength match, but then his back hits the floor and Slade grunts in surprise, and he keeps grunting as hit after hit after hit hits his face, and for a moment—

Yeah, no. Slade’s fist crashes into Grayson’s face and his head snaps back, then forward, then back again, blood spurting from his mangled nose, and Slade almost thinks he dented Grayson’s face in before he realizes it doesn’t matter and he throws Grayson off him, leaping on him before he can recover. They roll along the floor, Slade on top, then Grayson, then Slade, then Grayson, before Grayson manages to get his legs underneath Slade and he feels himself being launched into the air. His back hits the wall, hard, at an angle that takes the breath from his lungs, but he manages to turn so that he can roll to his feet as soon as he hits the ground only to finds Grayson on his feet as well, a pair of escrima sticks in his hands.

“Not bad.” Slade wipes at his mouth and begins circling again, cursing himself for his sloppiness. This is not going how it should be going. He’s being slow, impatient… he’s letting his emotions get the best of him, and it’s costing him the fight. Maybe it’s time to change tactics. “But tell me something, Grayson—have you ever considered that maybe Rose doesn’t deserve you sticking up for her?”

Grayson’s brows lower into a frown. “What the hell are you on about now, Slade?”

“Think about it,” Slade says, his tone painfully condescending. Condescension had always worked like a charm on the acrobat—like any son of Batman, Grayson hated not knowing all the facts, and pretending he had missed an obvious conclusion planted seeds of doubt in him like nothing else did. “Did you see me drugging her? Even once?”

“What are you—”

“Did she seem drugged while you were training her?” Slade presses, his one eye observing every little twitch Grayson’s face makes as Slade speaks so his enhanced mind knows where to take this based on his reactions. There was nothing more important to his craft than knowing where to push and where to withdraw—every human had things they were sure of and things they weren’t sure of, and drawing attention to the wrong thing was a surefire way to get your statements thrown back in your face. “Did anything about her behavior even suggest it?”

“Are you seriously trying to… what, imply that Rose made the whole thing up?” Grayson asks, not so much skeptical as wholly incredulous, but Slade can swear he hears the tiniest hint of doubt in his voice.

“I’m not ‘implying’ anything, kid,” Slade retorts, I’m saying that’s exactly what happened.”

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Slade?” Grayson asks, scowling. “Putting everything else aside for a moment, you realize that it wasn’t just Rose you drugged, right? Cassandra says you drugged her too, and they can’t both be making it up.”

“I did drug Cassandra,” Slade admits, because he senses pressing in that direction would be the wrong move, “but I didn’t drug Rose. Why would I? She came to me willingly.”

“That’s not what she says.” Grayson’s hands are tight on his escrima sticks. “You kidnapped her after her foster parents were killed. The Titans confirmed it.”

“She stayed with me willingly, then.”

“Not the same thing.”

“It might as well be.” Slade senses he’s getting closer. “Try to use that brain of yours for a moment, Grayson. What’s more plausible to you… that I drugged my own daughter for months on end for no benefit to myself and that no one ever figured it out… or that Rose felt ashamed of what she’d done after she had a change of heart and made the whole thing up to try to exonerate herself in the eyes of those around her?”

Grayson is silent for a moment. Then: “What about the eye?”

Shit. He hadn’t thought about that. How was he possibly going to justify what Rose did to her own eye if she wasn’t being drugged?

Grayson scoffs after three seconds pass with Slade saying nothing. “Thought so,” he says, and leaps… only to grunt as Slade catches him in the air and throws him to the ground.

“Mistake,” Slade growls, delivering a brutal kick to Grayson’s face before jumping back as Grayson’s leg sweeps the bit of floor he was standing.

“You wanna know what I think, Slade?” Grayson sneers, spitting out a mouthful of blood and swinging his legs around behind him, arching with the motion and getting to his feet. He raises the escrima sticks, his lips curling into an expression that is not at all like a grin. “I think you’re jealous.”

Strike one. “Jealous?”

“Yeah, jealous.” Grayson advances, escrima sticks crackling with electricity. “Jealous of little old me. That must be so embarrassing for you.”

“Did I hit you in the head too hard, kid?” he growls, stepping back despite himself. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Come on, Slade, don’t pretend that’s not what this is about,” Grayson says, turning sideways as Slade flings a chair at him and smashing the vase that flies at his head next in midair without breaking his pace. Slade heard the sound of the chair smashing through the floor-to-wall window behind Grayson a moment later. “I mean, seriously, it’s a little pathetic, don’t you think? Trying to kill me just because your daughter likes spending time with me and Joey more than with you?”

Strike two. Slade’s lips curl into a scowl. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You wanna know what the worst part is?” Grayson continues, his tone turning conspiratorial, the crackle of electricity growing louder as he gets closer. “I wouldn’t even have met Rose if you hadn’t asked me to train her. Hell, I only came for her after you blew up Bludhaven. She might still be with you if it hadn’t been for you messing with people I care about.”

Strike three. Out.

Slade suddenly grins. “You stupid idiot.”

Grayson blinks, lowering the escrima sticks in bemusement. “Huh?”

Slade clicks his earpiece, and the dark room suddenly floods with light as the television screen turns on by itself. Grayson slowly turns around to see Rose there, eyes wide, lips slightly parted in shock.

“You got all that, honey?” Slade asks, even though he knows she did. He has to give his tech guy a raise. Guy had some seriously good ideas.

Rose doesn’t reply. Slade can hear Dick’s breath catching in his throat as he realizes whats just happened.

“Rose, that’s not… that wasn’t… I didn’t…” he tries, but the damage is done. Rose furiously stabs the monitor on her end and the transmission ends, bathing the room in darkness once more. Slade is pretty sure he saw tears in her eyes before the screen went dark.

There’s silence for a long moment, before a small chuckle escapes from Slade’s mouth, and then another, longer one. He’s won. He’s won in a way he couldn’t have imagined even in his wildest dreams. His chuckles rise into a scathing laugh as Grayson stands there, staring stupidly at the dark screen like he could will it to turn back on so he could explain himself if he stared hard enough.

“You… you…” he whispers once he’s gotten over his shock, turning to Slade with wide eyes.

“Me, me, me,” Slade mocks, the final vestiges of his laugh slipping from his mouth. “Not so clever now, are you?”

“I… that’s not what I meant,” Grayson says desperately, his own words clearly replaying in his head. “I would’ve come back for her eventually. I just didn’t think… I… that’s not what I meant at all.”

“I know that.” He nods at the screen, his grin growing larger. “She didn’t.”

Just then, the sound of rushing wind fills their ears through the broken window, and Slade’s grin widens even further as he walks towards it, clapping a still-stupefied Grayson on the shoulder as he walks past. “And that’s my ride. Thank you for being such a great sport about this, Grayson, I really do appreciate it.”

“Slade… you… this doesn’t mean anything,” he snarls, turning towards him. “Rose will understand if she just lets me explain.”

Slade steps out into the open void, grabbing hold of an unseen rope ladder and hooking his feet around one it’s rungs. “And here I thought you’d know your own so-called protege.” He can’t help his smugness. He’s won. Completely and utterly. And he didn’t even have to falsify something to do it—Grayson just said everything Slade needed him to say with his own damn mouth. “My daughter isn’t a very understanding person, Grayson. In fact, I’d say you can go ahead and lose her number now… I have a feeling she won’t be picking up any of your calls anytime soon.”

Grayson’s hands bunch into fists. “Slade, you… you bastard.”

“No, that’s her,” he grins, pulling on the ladder. It begins to retract even as the helicopter begins rising into the sky. “So long, kid. I’ll tell Rose you said hello.”

He laughs all the way to his safe house. Who knew that cutting Rose off from the people she cared about would be so easy?

[you-missedmyheart]

i only fall for you

(hayakawa aki x reader)

it was wrong.

you knew it was wrong from the very start of it, but there was no going back now. you couldn’t back out anymore, that was pretty obvious, unless you wanted to look like an absolute maniac in front of him.

‘‘sorry to bother you at this late hour, but…’’ words failed you. but what?

your hands fiddled with the container, the annoying click of the lid opening and closing almost giving you a headache.

what excuse could you come up with for this situation? who even does something like this? was it inappropriate​? were you going to get an angry call from the hr department in a few days? was he going to report you to said department?

‘‘i was baking and … i made too much dough and i couldn’t possibly eat this many cookies all on my own-’’

‘‘you could have ​​brought them in the office and shared them.’’

‘‘it’s friday, they would have gotten hard by monday.’’ oh god it’s a friday night.

what could have possibly possessed you to walk all the way to aki’s apartment, in the name of cookies. one would have thought that the fresh spring air would have helped in sobering your clouded thoughts and if that didn’t work, at least the warmth of the freshly baked cookies ​​burning your fingers though the container, ever so slightly, but no.

you were still here, at his front door, hands extending the tupperware as if it were an offering. just what type of spell did he have you under?

‘‘i’m sorry… this is stupid. forgive me for the inconvenience, i wasn’t thinking all that clearly.’’​

‘‘you can come inside … if you want. we can share the cookies, so they don’t go to waste.’’

your hands were already trembling around the opening of the glass container, but now they were almosting shaking. why on earth would he agree to this?

you agree, because who doesn’t hate wasted food? and make your entry in his home. it’s small, neat and bland. you take off your shoes, step inside and place the cookies on the table he instructed you to do so.

slippery hands were sliding over the lid, carefully opening it, inviting the delicious smell to waft around in the living room, it almost began to overpower the faint cigarette smoke.

the container was parted i​nto two with a small piece of parchment paper.

‘‘this one is dark chocolate,’’ you point to the left side of the tupperware. ‘‘the other is milk chocolate.’’

aki reaches for the right side, takes a cookie and bites it, only then is it that it dawns on you.

aki is your superior, the stoic, cold in an almost mean, but polite way, and now you’re in his home, eating cookies you baked in a frenzy.

‘‘you seemed like a dark chocolate kind of guy.’’

he stares at you, but you can’t will yourself to look back at him. you look out the window instead, admiring the cement buildings all around you. city life almost always seems to suffocate you,it traps you into its cold and cruel hands and watches as your life slowly drains away from your eyes. ​

you reach for the left side, bite into the cookie. you try to hide the frown that takes over your face as the bitter chocolate slowly melts on your tongue and drips into your tastebuds.

‘‘could i have a glass of water?’’​ you choke out.

he nods, ​swipes the crumbs into a napkin and stands up. he heads over to the kitchen sink, reaches for a glass and fills it with water, the contents almost spill over as he brings it to you and you take it from him, thanking him.

‘‘did you let me in because you felt like you had to?’’

‘‘​i don’t like wasting food.’’ he repeats, and it’s fine. he doesn’t need to respond to all your dumb questions. you never expect a concrete answer from anyone.

‘‘i think i’m going to take my leave. thank you for letting me inside, and again, sorry for the inconvenience.’’

he nods, bids farewell, leads you to the door and then you leave.

door closed behind you, the cool air of the staircase hits you in the face, and you feel empty. your hands are shoved deep into your pockets and you try to will yourself to not think.

the sky is finally turning back to blue, a summer blue. the reign of ugly gray is over and you wish you could look at the sky forever. you look around the busy train station and see no familiar faces.

you wish you could see aki’s face again, but if that would have been your last encounter, you would have been fine with that. you will never chase love if it means heartbreak is to follow. you would rather die in a fierce fight than swallow the poison that infiltrates your heart and begins to tear it down piece by piece.

love is scary and if you were to take your last breath right this instant, it would have been fine, because you knew, for once in your life, you felt something akin to fondness, not love.

[razorblade180]

Familiar Waters

Aether:Hey Nilou, are you busy today?

Nilou:Actually your timing couldn’t have been better. No performances today so the stage can have maintenance. Is something wrong?

Aether:No. there’s just this place I really want to show you. I think besides a handful other people I know, you’re someone who really deserves to see this.

Nilou:Wow. When you put it like that, how can I say no? Not that I was planning to. *grabs his hand* Lead the way.

Aether:You’re going to be holding my hand for long time. It’s kinda far.

Nilou:*smiles* Even better.

xxxxx

Boy, Aether wasn’t kidding about distance. Nilou wasn’t expecting him to take her into the desert. Not that it was a problem. She’s made the trip countless times and knew how to take care of herself. If there was any place to be a hydro user, then the desert had to be the best one. Warding off the heat for the both them was easy.

She didn’t need to do it long before they went inside ruins a couple times then out from new ways. Each time she wondered if they had arrived, yet Aether didn’t seem too interested in the beauties of the old paintings and landscapes.

Nilou:Been here before?

Aether:Yeah. There were a lot more robots. Also traps.

Nilou:You really do live a colorful life. Don’t work too hard. Is the place we’re going also dangerous?

Aether:It’s actually one of the most peaceful places I’ve ever seen.

They make it to what should be the heart of the desert. Whirling sandstorms and its wind keeps Nilou’s attention from noticing the platform under their feet is moving down. It eventually stopped and they continued through a cave.

Nilou:Huh? Oh! Y’know I’m fairly familiar with lots of local legends, stories, and Sumeru’s general history. Even so, I don’t think I realized how much technology was in the desert.

Aether:I don’t even think half the scholars really know. I wouldn’t know anything if it weren’t for the people I meet on commissions. It’s a little scary honestly.

Nilou:The people of the commissions?

Aether:Both? Most of the time they’re looking for one thing and we end discovering lots of things. Most of them are very…daunting.

Nilou:If that’s the case, are you sure spending your downtime like this is good? You could be resting.

Aether:I’m alright. You were okay spending your day off to humor me. Now I think I kept you waiting long enough.

He let go of her hand and took off running. It caught Nilou off guard but she quickly ran after him, only a few steps behind.

After one more turn they were out of the cave. Instantly, Nilou stopped moving. The dancer’s eyes became unblinking as they stared out towards an endless sunset. Lush grass covered the area and surrounded a still, unmoving body of water. Nilou couldn’t make heads or tails of it. It was as if she had entered a living photo. The entire world was still, yet so brimming with life. What stilled her heart further was the sight of a certain purple flower on a small island right in the middle.

Nilou:What is this place?

Aether: The Orchard of Pairidaeza. Had to help a friend get here to fulfill a promise. *sits down* Still takes my breath away. This place is a memorial for-

He didn’t have to finish. Or rather, he was silenced by the sight of Nilou’s tears. The girl was caught off guard by her own reaction, awkwardly laughing as she tried to wipe her face, but Nilou couldn’t get herself to stop crying for some reason. Never has heart felt so elated yet mournful. The beauty of this place was overwhelming and so very personal in a way she couldn’t describe.

Aether watched quietly. He had a feeling this might happen to the gentle soul. Even Nahida had found herself weeping the first time he brought her here.

Nilou:I’m…I’m sorry. I- I can’t crying for some reason?

Aether:Take your time. Feel whatever you feel.

xxxxx

Nilou:*sniffling* I’m sorry I cried for long…

Aether:I’m telling you it’s okay. Honestly it would be strange not to cry here.

Nilou:Are you sure it’s okay for someone like me to know about this place? I mean this is a big deal.

Aether:*pats head* Nilou, I think out of everyone I’ve met should know this place. I’m sure Nahida and the Goddess of Flowers would think the same. If you ever need a place to get away from it all, I know you’ll do right if you come here.

Nilou nodded softly, trying to compose herself. She walked further into the beautiful area that was right out of a dream. It didn’t take long before she realized it was possible to walk on the water. She looked back at Aether, who spurred her on to keep going. Nilou followed her heart and went all the way to the tiny island where three seats made of wood and covered in genuine Padisarah. Nilou didn’t dare to sit on any throne or pick any plant. Instead she stood before them ready to perform. Somehow, deep down, dancing didn’t only feel right, but important. Not to Goddess she idolized so much, but to the two thrones on each side. Nilou couldn’t say for certain who they were meant for, but she wanted to pay tribute to them all the same.

Aether watched in silence for afar, witnessing a once in a lifetime performance. He would be sure to tell Nahida about it, if she didn’t know already somehow. Perhaps her and Nilou would visit together one day? As for the third seat, maybe he could convince their successor if he ever gets the chance.

xxxxx

Time really escaped the both of them. What was a bright morning was a cool night as they walked the path to Sumeru City in relative silence. Aether could tell Nilou was still basking in the experience. If that wasn’t enough to tell notice her joy, then the giveaway was their hands. He had tried to grab it like he always does, but Nilou surprised him when she she interlocked their fingers, swinging the joined hands slightly. It was sweet, but also really embarrassing for him.

Nilou:Three

Aether:Hmm?

Nilou:This is the third time you’ve done something that’s allowed me to give a performance completely out of this world.

Aether:I remember the dream loop, but what was the second?

Nilou:The jail break for Lesser Lord Kusanali.

Aether:…I guess that was pretty out of this world. Man, maybe I do need a break? That almost felt normal.

Nilou:Well…I’m also free tomorrow. Do you have anything in the morning to do?

Aether:Not necessarily. Tomorrow should be pretty light.

Nilou:In that case, push your errands until noon. *red* Let’s hangout all night.

Aether:*red*….I didn’t show you that place in hopes of-

Nilou:I know, silly. I just…think it would be a really good idea. Why stop good things that are happening?

Aether:Teapot it is.

Nilou:It’s okay. I live alone.

Aether:True, but I don’t want to upset any neighbors. Plus you have a public image. I’d hate to cause trouble for you.

Nilou:*deeply moved* Aether?

Aether:Hmm?

Nilou:*kisses cheek* No work tomorrow.

Aether:…..

Aether:Okay.

[monsterfloofs]

( Writing inspired by a pair of my friends characters and a few other things. =) This is written to be a cozy platonic relationship, love takes many forms and sometimes the deepest bonds we forge aren’t always romantic. This is a head nod to you @mere-of-insanityanddreams ! I hope you enjoy the short!)

Sitting cross legged on the floor, fingers flipping through the pages of an ancient and worn tome. You could almost feel the lives it lived before, of the people who had also delved into its pages, seeking inspiration and the power to change the outcome of life. You had been studying the family's grimoire for a long time now. Not for your own gain however, but in an attempt to free someone who has lived with you for many years.

“You’ve been looking over that book for hours,” A voice called to you from the other room, causing you to look up. A figure with long tresses of hair that drifted ethereally around their back. They quirk an eyebrow and smile at you with amusement.

“I thought you would have been asleep by now. . .”

You shake your head, “Not yet. . . I think I’m getting closer to breaking Great Grandma’s curse.”

“Ah,” They hum, “What would happen then?” Golden slitted eyes dilate in amusement as they lean over you. “I would no longer be tethered to this household. I would be free to do whatever I pleased. I could easily make it my goal to burn this town to the ground.”

You look up at them and scoff, “You wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Ah, but I am not bitter at being trapped inside this house?” They teased, but you turn back to the book in your lap, eyebrows pinched together. Your thumb reaches up to gently worry at the corner of a page.

“I know you wouldn’t, I trust you with all my life.”

“Trust a demon? What a concept,”

You roll your eyes playfully, as they move to sit down on the couch, crossing one leg over the other. They watch you for a while, tail gently swishing as the candle light about you gutters and dances.

You sigh, closing the book with a snap, rubbing at your eyes with the palm of your hand. They were beginning to sting from sifting through pages of formulas and incantations.

“Would you like some tea?” They ask as you give a defeated groan.

“Maybe. . .” You murmur as you rise to your feet, cradling the book to your chest.

“I can wait, you know, you don’t have to try and hurry to find an answer.”

You turn your head to look at them, your expression softening. “I know. . . but you deserve better than to be stuck in one place for so long.”

They rest a hand on their cheek, smiling at you.

“At least promise you’ll come and visit me from time to time?”

“Of course,” they reply quietly, you smile and nod.

You stand surveying the room, thinking for a moment, “Actually,” You muse so slowly, “I think I would like to take an evening stroll before it gets dark. . . would you like to accompany me?” You turn and blink as you realize they had shifted from their seat on the couch and were already standing by the door.

“Coming?” They grin playfully, opening the door for you.

“Haha.” You retort with a wisp of a smile. Setting the grimoire on the couch and fetching your hat from the coat-rack.

You hop outside, leaves in a gentle breeze skittering through the grass. You wait patiently on the other side of the threshold.

As they take a step out of the house, their image dissolves into that of a stately raven that flutters onto your shoulder. It lets out a throaty rasp as their head bumps against your cheek. You smile, and place a cap on your head, looking up into the sky above.

[nighttimescribbles2]

pictures of you

Textures of You part 2. Sunny romances don't last forever. zeke x reader; angst; modern au; artist!reader; exes; cheating wc: 1680 a/n: heard ldr's Damn You for the first time, something clicked. been in the mood for angst and hurt feelings. not proofed. sorry for typos and accidental tense switches (if any). it's hard to get the hang of thinking and writing in present tense.

He isn’t your Zeke anymore, this polished, well-dressed man you collided into in the middle of the wet sidewalk. The innards of your portfolio are all over his shiny shoes - papers and canvases and what all else - slowly waterlogging themselves into ruin. Once upon a time, they were full of him, of eyes and the bridge of his nose, cheekbones and the graceful musculature of his neck and shoulders. Once upon a time, you painted his fingers folded one over another, hands cupped around your belly, dimpling your thighs, closing over your own.

Once upon a time, he was yours and you saturated your world with him. Now you can’t look at his face anymore and your mind draws a helpless, muddled blank when he crouches to help you gather your things.

Rain runs from his umbrella and slithers into your collar and down your back. You ignore the shiver and work faster to tidy up your spill. It embarrasses you more that he should see all these pieces that make up the present parts of you, and at a time when they are scattered and trodden like regular trash.

“I’m sorry about all of this. If there’s anything I can do…”

The rest of his words, you no longer hear. The cotton around your head recognizes only that the one you ran into this dreadfully rainy day speaks like your Zeke, and is quick to offer to fix things like your Zeke.

A pang spasms in the hollows of you, one that makes your eyes well.

“It’s all right,” you hear yourself saying. You are blinking fast. “I was on my way home, anyway, and these aren’t very important.”

You shove the wet sketches into your portfolio, where they immediately proceed to taint everything else with their damp. Crumpled corners stick out of the leather. He winces at the sight and hands you a stack of carefully collected canvas sheets with the rainwater shaken from them.

Your Zeke had always been kinder towards your works than you ever were.

“You don’t have an umbrella. Let me walk you home.”

You press your lips together.  His earnest face swims into your field of vision. 

It’s appalling how quickly you agree.

—

Once upon a time, you frayed apart. Your Zeke had always been too smart, too good, to remain a drifting summertime dreamer, while you had always been much too caught up in your paints and fancies. 

It was an amicable breakup.

Now the rain drums as on a tin can in the landing of your apartment building and your breath steams while you fumble for your keys.

“Come on in.”

You still live in a studio, albeit different from the one you used to share. This one is a cheap attic room with beautiful awning windows and a skylight in the sloping ceiling. It’s small - more cramped than cosy - and peppered with your personal streak of chaos.

It still makes the present Zeke smile.

He has to duck a little to get through the old, old door, but the wonder that blows through him when he sees the inside is still the same. He aches at the familiar jumble of colours on half-finished pieces, and the black, white, and grey of the old dusty charcoal studies taped onto the walls and tucked into falling-over reference books, and the multiple cups of unfinished coffee left to go stale, wring nostalgia from deep within him.

All those years apart and he still hasn’t met anyone quite like you.

Divested of the trappings of the day, you lean by your desk and size him up from across the room. Surrounded by all the big and small things that have always made up your life, you appear to him to form a perfect part of the painted memories he has kept all this time.

The window above your desk beams the light of silver rain upon your head. His eyes blur with the old affection. He didn’t remember it to be quite this strong.

“It’s cold,” he coughs out at last. His nails have dug trenches into his palms. It feels like forever before he can get his next words out. “May I stay for a cup of coffee?”

—

He works in policy development  now, yet the way his face brightens when he’s handed one of your ancient mugs is the same as ever, and he is your Zeke when he teases, “No leftover paints in this, I hope?”

You laugh. In your throat, something chokes you.

He doesn’t sit. Instead, he paces the perimeter of your apartment, steps slow as he drinks in each and every piece of art you’d let explode all over your place. A prickle runs through you at this intense observation. You don’t dare look at him as you huddle on your beat-up couch compulsively scratching at a loose thread in the upholstery.

Since going your separate ways, you’d bloomed and then promptly fizzled out into a moderately successful artist who lived off some freelance work, a handful of sales, and an occasional show. You peaked too early, hit a ceiling, and try though you might, could not seem to go any further. But as he finishes his tour, he breathes, “Beautiful,” with all reverence, and for a moment you believed that finally the time had come for you to begin to move from mediocre to great.

“The circles I move in now make no room for art.” He seats himself beside you on your only sofa, the little loveseat that was the only thing you could afford after you left your shared apartment all those years ago. His fresh clothes bear a stark contrast to its worn state, and your soft light catch their expensive sheen when he leans on his knees, your battered mug cupped in big hands.

He sends a crooked smile your way. “You can’t imagine how much I’ve missed your works.”

“They’re still the same.” You meant, they’re still around, but your words are jumbled and come out sad. His smile evaporates and he shifts restlessly until he spots the pack of cigarettes on your end table.

“You started smoking?” Surprise.

“Occasionally.” 

Truly, when he tips the box, he finds if practically full.

“Mind if I…?”

You shake your head. And so the pungent smoke joins your company. He begins to relax again, begins to lean back and stretch one arm across the back of the sofa. Tentative conversation begins to flow. 

He doesn’t do baseball anymore. No time. He reads, though.

“Still the great classics?”

“No. More…instructive stuff.” His mouth twists ruefully up. 

Your Zeke had majored in literature and used to spend days and days ranting when he was caught up in the spirit of a new read.

“Oh.”

Life loped along the conventional paths for him. He has a partner now, a great girl, go-getter just like him. Dream girl. But his eyes dim and he stares numbly into the ceiling when he speaks of her. 

“What about you?” It sounds spiteful.

A shrug. When he brings up his arm for another smoke, you wilt forward, wrap your lips around his cigarette, and suck in a good lungful. “I’ve no one,” you murmur through the smoke blowing from your mouth. It is impossible to let go of his piercing gaze. “Not since you.”

You come together. He chainsmokes your stash while you sit between his legs and draw - draw the likeness of the leg dangling from the edge of the sofa and the perspective of tucked knees supporting your drawing pad. You bring to life the lines of the hands gently fondling your wrist and render the graphite light upon the backs of fingers splayed across your stomach.

Like this, it is easy to sink again into that worshipful peace that washed over you when you memorialised your Zeke on paper. It is even easier, you find, to twist around at the behest of lips on the back of your neck so that you could turn your artistic attention to the new lines on his still handsome face and drown in the old intensity of his eternal blue-greys.

He is the same. He is still your Zeke, from the top of his tousled head to his bare throat and chest. The salt bedewing his neck tastes the same, the groan he buries between the tops of your naked breasts exactly as you’d always remembered. He still makes you gasp when he seats you atop himself, and makes love to you as thoroughly as he used to.

You cling to him and secretly weep for the return of your Zeke.

—

It feels right only for one beautiful, fleeting moment. As soon as you leave each other’s arms, dread returns. The perpetual tightness pounds again in his temples and the chronic pit in your chest reawakens with an acid sting.

He dresses without a word. When he is done, he stands a long while in his coat, laden down with briefcase and umbrella and staring at your numb, naked form on the sofa. In your mind’s eye, that tortured, tired look he wore on the wet sidewalk finds its home on his face again.

His limbs twitch to reach for you. His mouth opens to speak. He clenches his hands and grinds his jaw. He nods. He looks away. He leaves.

The door shuts. Your chin quivers. Cold, trembling hands push a cigarette between your lips and leave it like that, unlit between twin tracks of tears.

Outside, his steps clang on the metal stairs. Thoughts of summer assault him, and he can’t stop himself craving that old painting that sits at the bottom of his office cabinet even as he hisses to himself that he’s forgotten all about it.

Rain patters cheerfully on your roof like it’s an empty soup can. For the second time, you lost your Zeke.

He splashes through puddles. Their mud cling to his shoes, fling themselves onto his immaculately kept clothes. He feels sick. For the umpteenth time, he has to stop himself from returning to you.

[transpoettryinghisbest]

“Father was killed here.”

I touch his desk. I can still feel the same grooves and bumps in the wood that have always been there. The whole apartment is exactly the same as it was the last time I was here, nothing has moved an inch. Except for one piece missing. Something that I'm never going to get back. It happened so fast. I still remember his voice thanking me for the coffee, answering questions for that scary reporter. Then a thud. And he was gone. Just like that. In our own home. The same place I've been my whole life, the same four walls I've become so familiar with.

“It was supposed to be safe here,” I whisper.

“I'm sorry, Vera,” Trucy says.

I instinctively bring my thumb to my mouth and find the edge of my thumbnail with my teeth. I bite. And I remember the strange aniseedy taste. I remember ignoring it because I just needed some kind of comfort. Everyone was asking me questions, things I didn't want to think about, things that scared me. My head started to hurt. I thought it was just the stress, but my stomach started hurting too. I was sweating, the room was spinning around me. The room's spinning around me now. I think I'm going to faint. I make a whimper sound.

“Vera? Are you okay?” It's Apollo.

I want to tell him I'm not. But I can't speak, my voice has shut off again. I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Here, sit down,” he says. “Just…just get your breath back, okay?”

“You'll be alright, Vera,” Trucy adds.

He leads me into Father's chair. I'm not strong enough to object so I take a seat. I think I'm shaking. Like I did on the stand. When everything started crashing down, when I started to wonder if maybe I was at fault. It’s my fault. Or maybe that's just what they think. Why do they hate me? Why do they think I did it? The paintings. I know what I did was wrong but I didn't mean to hurt anyone. The paintings are still here. They're always going to be here unless I remove them. Everything reminds me of him, of that trial. I can't escape it. I can't escape what I did.

“Apollo, she's completely shut down,” Trucy says.

I can hear them but I can't talk back. I feel locked inside myself. Like I was locked inside this house. Not physically, but still I was unable to leave. I was trapped. I wanted to be trapped. I was scared that someone could hurt me. And someone did hurt me. I nearly died. I don't know how to deal with that fact.

“Vera, can you let us know you're okay?” Apollo says.

I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay.

I place my hands on Father's desk. It grounds me a little.

“Father doesn't like me sitting at his desk,” I say, eventually. It’s the only thing I can make myself say and I know they want me to say something.

“I'm sure he wouldn't mind,” Trucy replies. “Just this once.”

“Things won't ever be the same again.”

“Vera, can you hear me?” Apollo crouches so he’s in my line of sight. “Have you thought about talking to someone? Like a therapist?”

I go to tell him that I can’t. That I’m still scared despite everything. That I don’t know who I can trust but that I don’t want to live like this anymore.

I wish I could tell people what it’s like to not be able to speak sometimes. No one really seems to understand. Even Father would live in hope that one day I’d become a normal child. He died unfulfilled.

He died poor and unknown.

He’s dead.

I wish he was here now. He wouldn't know the right thing to say or do, but he'd be there. He'd be familiar. He'd be some kind of comfort. Apollo and Trucy are really trying for me, they don't have to do this. But I still feel so alone, even with them right here. I want my father back.

I start crying.

Apollo looks concerned. “Um…do you have tissues anywhere? Or do you want some water? Or something?”

I can’t even nod or shake my head. I’m completely trapped inside myself. It feels nice to cry. I don’t think I have in a while. It feels like such a strong release. But at the same time, I really don’t want to be watched and talked to when I can’t say or do anything but sit here and cry. I don’t want to be here. I want things to just go back to normal. But things were never normal. We weren’t a normal family. I’m not normal. I hate that I am this way and that I probably always will be because I’m too scared to get help.

“My daddy died too,” Trucy says. “He went missing for a while. And I always thought he was coming back for me. But I always wondered if maybe he was gone for good. Now I know he is. He always taught me to put on a brave face and not cry, especially not in front of others. But I think that was because he was scared. Scared of feelings. Mine and his. And other people’s. Sometimes it is easier to just not feel anything. But…sometimes you can’t be strong. And I think that’s okay.”

Trucy is fascinating. And not just in her magic tricks. She's so bold. She's smaller than me, but she's not afraid to stand tall, look people in the eye or speak her mind at any time. She's lost so much, but she's still so strong.

I want to tell her what I feel and what I'm going through. I want to tell her everything. But my voice is still cut off somewhat. I wonder if other people get that sometimes. Or if I'm just doomed to always be different.

“It's so hard,” I manage to say.

“Yeah, it will be,” Apollo says. “But you're going to be okay.”

“I don't know…why I'm still alive. Do you think it means something?”

“Huh?”

“I could have easily passed away. But something kept me going. I wish I knew what it was.”

“Maybe it was you?” Trucy said. “You wanted to keep living. So you did.”

I can't remember much of what happened to me when I was poisoned. I remember the moment, but after that…everything goes fuzzy in my mind. I wonder if I did have some kind of epiphany about the meaning of life and how to fight to survive through the odds. The doctors called me a miracle for surviving something that no one had survived before. Maybe there was no meaning to it at all. But maybe there was.

All I know now is that I'm alive. And I have to decide what to do with the rest of my life. It's scary. But it gives me another kind of sensation too. A feeling of hope.

[severussnapedamagedlove]

Dinner and Diatribes - Feyd Story Update

Free the Animal is updated with another sparking chapter called Dinner and Diatribes after the beloved Hozier song.

Please read my newest chapter!

Below will be a sneak peak ;)

A formal meal was announced later that day. I’d been lounging around after being measured for new garments when the message came through.  It addressed me directly. I was given instructions to dress formal.

As royal consort, decorum is paramount. As is your attendance.

Oh was it?

Was I a slave bent to his will?

Well, yes, but he’d made me a lady. A lady of House Harkonnen. I did not have to do as a mere slip of paper demanded.

When Vishti arrived later to help me dress, I sent them away.

They did not like it.

“No, my lady. Na-Barons will be very angry.”

“If I am a lady, I’ll start acting like one,” I declared. “Now go. Don’t be here when he comes looking. He’ll kill you.”

They held the pink robe dress meant for the dinner. “It is easy. Not take long.” Dark wrinkled hands ran along the front. “So pretty.”

“Vishti, leave. Now”

There was dismay in their eyes, but they bowed in their exit.

I was done with the whole charade! He won. The punishment was too much for me to withstand.

His game was won. I showed my limit, the limit he tried so hard to find. Now it was time for it to end.

Either my attendance does not matter so it is forgotten about, or he can release me from this prison as he wished.

But I was not an animal to be paraded around his hoity advisers and nobility as if some amusement for their entertainment. Dressed up in their garments as if I was a monster, same skin as they. It was an insult to who I was. It insulted every piece inside me.

Feyd was welcome to kill me now. I was not attending his pathetic pandering party.

I waited. Patiently.

Well, as patiently as I could pretend to be.

The time it took for the dinner to start was agony. It was wasted. My life could have ended and spared me the torture of the wait. Everything was torture. This planet, this place, this na-Baron.

If only I had been picked for slaughter as the other survivors had. I waited and waited. One by one, they were picked for demise while I remained trapped inside a prison. I listened to their screams. I heard the deaths in all squishy foul sounds they made.

One I saw with my very own eyes.

It was the last prisoner housed in the cell with me. A young mechanic, about fifteen or so. He had springy black curls with a pair of sharp grey eyes. We huddled together in those cold, dirty dungeons. The meager portions we were given split between us, evenly. I once vomited my portion, and he gave me his.

I’d not known him on the planet. Only in imprisonment had we met, but he became all I had at a time where I valued connections.

I lost him last of all. Before I was left alone to withstand the torture of wait in those dank dungeons.

The red river that ran from below the cell door that day still haunts me. I see it, some nights, in dreams.

Guards took him in the night. I’d tried to push them off, but they knocked me back. It was so hard that my vision went dark a moment and my head throbbed.

His sudden scream - the moment the door closed. It is etched in my mind.

I relive it - moments when I feel weak and weary. I remember what it means to die under Harkonnen rule.

Why I was forced to live with the names of fourteen people now deceased while I carried on with the memory of their brutal deaths fueled me forward in my mission. I was the last. Death was meant to me. Too soon, just the same as the ones who were stolen, killed for selfish reasons, or no reason at all.

A roar boomed down the hall. Thundering boots descended.

The doors of my chamber were wretched back so hard they hit the walls behind them. 

Feyd stormed into the room. “You’re late.”

“I’m not going,” I said flatly

“I do not dine without my full house and my full house has a lady.”

“I’m not a real lady! None of this is real. I am a liar, a fake. This punishment has bested me. I lose. I am punished. I give up.” “Punishment?” Feyd spat. “You do not know the meaning of the word punishment!” He screamed it now. The very room filled with darkness. Glasses rattled. Impending violence surged through the air. Just as I wanted.