#I don’t hand out my socials irl for a reason

[vampstel]

Life update: I feel bad. and icky.

[naeviskz]

WHIRLWIND ๑‧˚₊ ─── HHJ

synopsis ; you overreact just a teensy bit when you see hyunjin talking to another girl, but when you find out the actual reason why … you try everything you can to make it up to him.

genre 숌 non-idol au, boyfriend!hyunjin x girlfriend!reader | established relationship

words - 3.6k tags/warnings 숌 fluff, (some) angst? pwp, smut, reader gets very jealous easily/has possessive tendencies, small mentions of insecurities, v v v clingy & needy gf, marking, dry humping, dirty talk, oral (m), lowkey daddy kink, hj has a big cawk, breeding kink cause that’s my fave tehe. i will preface that oc kinda has a toxic way of thinking and it’s def not healthy to act this way irl !!

now playing 🎧 : cool with you by newjeans, streets by doja cat

☆ 彡

[ this my first ever writing that has smut in it so bear w/ me pls ;-; i’m still learning how to do this right haha, but lmk if you enjoyed this at all <3 **not proofread btw ! ]

“Let’s go on that one next Jinnie!!” You squeal like a giddish teenager as you point to the ride up ahead, violently pulling on Hyunjin’s hand his entire arm might just fall off.

It’ll be your 1 year anniversary in approximately a week, and what better way to pre celebrate than going to the amusement park and watching fireworks at night? You haven’t been to one in years, reminiscing all those times you were a kid innocently frolicking around, not having a single care in the world. Since you’re a fully grown adult now it’s an altered experience, you’re able to pick up on social cues and no longer need parental supervision. You forgot just how thrilling it was to let loose and have fun, all while spending it with your lovely boyfriend.

The current ride you’re both getting on is essentially a giant wooden pirate ship that swings in a horizontal motion, elevating you high up in the air. You don’t do heights very well but Hyunjin’s a little daredevil who gets off on the adrenaline rush. He’s tried convincing you to do skydiving but that’s just something you refuse to compromise on. Before going on the pirate ship ride you went on the teacups, which was probably your favorite one of today. You couldn’t stop giggling and teasing Hyunjin over how incredibly fast he was spinning the turn-wheel, almost forgetting that you were also supposed to contribute. Spending quality time with your boyfriend like this means everything to you, he makes you feel like you’re floating on a pink cloud whenever you’re together. Like nothing else matters but you and him.

As the day progressed, what was once a milky, pale blue sky has now become a smoky dull atmosphere. Night was approaching any minute, making the temperature drop dramatically— you regret leaving the house in just shorts and a crop top. Your limbs shaking and trembling involuntarily from gusts of cool air the wind casually blows, Hyunjin seems to take note of this and takes action immediately.

“Want my hoodie babe?” Hyunjin asks out of concern, ready to yank it off the minute you agree.

You profusely nod at his offer, unable to withstand the frigid weather for another second. He pauses momentarily to grab the hem of his Versace sweatshirt with his free hand, swiftly drawing it over his head and handing it to you. Underneath he wore a thin plain white tee, now suffering from the cold— but any sacrifice is worthy of making for his precious babygirl.

Quickly putting it on, your body feels instantly warmer from his body heat still embedded into the soft fabric. “You saved me Jinnie, I almost turned into a human popsicle!” Were you exaggerating a bit? Maybe, but that’s beside the point. You’re all cozy now in Hyunjin’s oversized hoodie, loving the fact that only you get to wear his clothes.

His eyes shape into crescents as he flashes an adoring smile, “my diet would only consist of peach flavored ___ popsicles for the rest of my life then.”

You swear he’s just the cutest, most adorable, sweetest thing to have ever walked this earth. Sometimes you wonder how you got so lucky to end up with a person as charming, and perfect as Hyunjin. He’d say the same about you too but there’s another layer to how you feel. You’re often very over protective and territorial over him, needing to know exactly where he is at all times and who he’s hanging out with. Most of the time he’s with you, either at your place or at his. There was a set routine you two had at this point, after he’s done with work he’ll call and let you know he’s on his way to yours. Hyunjin knows how paranoid you can get when he’s gone for too long so he makes sure to communicate with you as much as he can throughout the day. It’s hard to deal with someone as high maintenance as you but he makes it work, he likes that you’re always worried and concerned about him — he’d rather have a girlfriend like that than one who doesn’t care about him.

“Looks like the sun should be setting soon.. won’t be much longer ‘til the fireworks start!” You cheer out of excitement, part of the reason you wanted to come was to see them.

He nods in agreement, “you’re right, is there anything else you wanna ride before they start?”

As if your brain answered before you could even think, “You.”

His doe eyes widened at your bold reply, never quite getting used to your subtle dirty mind. “I’ll give you that in due time, don’t worry mamas.”

A little bit later on you challenged Hyunjin to try the ‘test your strength’ game and of course he couldn’t pass up a moment to impress you. He gets into a competitive sports stance, gripping the hammer tightly before he swung hard at the puck. The meter flew straight up and hit the bell on his first try, able to win whatever prize he wanted from the largest section. He lets you choose whichever plushy you wanted, a giant fluffy pink stuffed unicorn that you held in your other hand that wasn’t occupied with Hyunjin’s.

“Hyunjinnieee, ‘m getting kinda hungry,” you childishly whine in hopes of getting him to buy you both food.

Before he could even get a response out your eyes were already fixated on something. The glowing neon lights of a food stand selling mozzarella corn dogs, you’ve always wanted to try those as you see them all the time on TikTok. Without hesitation you make a mad dash for the line as you drag your innocent boyfriend along for the adventure. As you got closer you realize the lines pretty spread out, there was at least 20+ people waiting but you were willing to stay as you really wanted one.

Hyunjin detaches his hand from yours, making you question his sudden intentions, “be right back babe, m’gonna go to the restroom.” He politely excuses himself, “here’s my card just in case I don’t make it back in time.” Pulling his credit card from his wallet to hand you before venturing off.

“Don’t be gone for too long please, or else I’ll come find you myself.” You were dead serious too, honestly speaking you didn’t necessarily want him out of your sight but you trust that he’ll come back in a reasonable amount of time. Hopefully.

“I promise babe.” He reassures, giving a quick peck to your forehead before vanishing into the crowd.

After what seemed like an eternity, you manage to secure the corn dogs and pay for them with Hyunjin’s card. Realizing now that your boyfriend is still gone, it’s been a good 15-20 minutes and he promised that he’d be back. Now you have to go looking for him like a mother who’s just lost their child. Scanning every area of the park you came across, you begin to feel anxious when you don’t see him anywhere. A range of negative thoughts intrude your mind with possibilities of where he could’ve gone. What you weren’t expecting was for your intuition to be exactly spot on.

There he was standing in front a taco truck, talking and laughing with another girl. A girl you absolutely do not recognize and have no clue why or what she’s doing even having a conversation with your man. You couldn’t move at all, frozen in place as you watched the scene fold out in front of you, making you more livid as it continues. The mystery girl was pissing you off by the minute, the tiny skirt she wore barely left anything to the imagination and her body language was way too close for comfort for your liking. You had to put a stop to this immediately.

Slowly you make your way up to them, examining the situation further. The blonde girl tries to loom even closer to Hyunjin but he backs away a bit, a sheer look of fear and paranoia in his eyes. She keeps talking to him but he doesn’t really say much back, only half smiling and nodding. What makes you pick up your pace at lightning speed was when he pulls his phone out from his back pocket, as if he’s about to ask for her number.

You’ve seen enough, it’s time to intervene now.

Practically sprinting up to them you see the girl perk up when she sees you, giving a friendly wave and inviting smile as if she wasn’t just trying to steal your man a second ago. You’re ready to rip this bitches hair out and show her that she’s picked the wrong one to mess with today.

“Oh hi, you must be ___, it’s so good to finally meet you!” Her voice was so squeaky and high-pitched, not even in a cute way, just obnoxiously loud and annoying.

…How the fuck does this girl know who you are?

“Who the hell is this?” You snap at Hyunjin, completely ignoring the girl’s presence, “How does she know you?”

“I’m— ”

“I believe I asked my boyfriend, not you. Who is she?” You rudely cut her off to reiterate the question.

Hyunjin looks like he’s just witnessed a murder, his own murder to be exact. “This is Valerie, we went to high school together, I was just showing her your freelance work and all the cool designs you make ‘cause she’s looking for graphic designers and I think you’re really talented babe.”

Your heart just sank to the pit of your stomach. The balled up fist your right hand was clenching soon released itself, no longer in fight mode but flight mode from the sudden embarrassment you’re internally battling.

“Oh..”

“Uh, well it was nice talking to you Hyunjin! I’ll go find my husband now, but your graphics are incredible ___ and I’d love to hire you for a couple projects I have lined up. Here’s my business card!” She hands you the flimsy card stock and leaves in an instant.

Now you feel totally ridiculous for almost causing a scene and cursing out the girl and your boyfriend for just wanting to promote your work. You owe him an apology big time.

“I thought you were…”

“Flirting with another girl, seriously? You think I have a death wish or something? Of course I’d never try something like that. The first thing she saw was you as my lock screen when I checked the time. Plus she’s married, I don’t think she’d be that dumb.” Hyunjin further proves his case, making sure not to leave any details out.

“M’sorry baby, please forgive me.” You plead for forgiveness, regressing back to your softer, more gentle side “lemme make it up to you daddy.”

“Nngh! Hyunjin-” you keen into his ear as you rub your clothed heat against his toned thigh, holding onto him for stable support.

You seriously felt bad for acting out like that earlier, all you want to do now is make him feel so good he forgets all about your previous unhinged behavior. Lord knows what you’d do if you ever lose someone so important to you. You can’t think about that right now though. Right now was all about him and making him feel good, but you can’t help but get something out of it as well.

The backseat of his car was a bit cramped as he decided to take his smaller convertible instead of the SUV, not exactly bargaining that later on you’d be getting freaky in his vehicle. Nonetheless you enjoy each other’s company, not needing much space anyway — if anything you wanted to be as close to him as possible. If you could get inside his skin you probably would. You love Hyunjin more than yourself, often feeling like you aren’t good enough to be with him. Maybe the reason you’re so protective and jealous is because you fear he’ll leave you for someone better.

Lazily trailing your lips down further, placing small pecks here and there until you land on his neck, adorned with a dainty silver chain, nuzzling your face into the crook of it. He smells so good, the cologne he’s wearing along with his natural pheromones is an intoxicating concoction. You stick your tongue out, gliding the wet muscle over his bare skin, still feverishly rutting into him while listening to his ethereal moans.

“Mmm.. I love you.” He murmurs under his breath, slipping his hands underneath (his) your hoodie to feel you up. His hands travel upwards to find the valley of your breasts, still covered by the bra you’re wearing he slides underneath the cups to lightly squeeze them.

You nibble on his neck in response, harshly sucking on the flesh to leave visible love bites, you want to make it abundantly clear to the whole world Hwang Hyunjin belongs to you.

“I love you more Hyunjinnie,” you stop for a brief moment to say, “gonna prove it.” Which you will once you’re satisfied with marking his entire neck and chest with dozens of purple and red hickeys.

Even though he’s touching you, grinding his hard length into you and purring out your name, you need more. Craving to see and feel more of him, you tug at the hem of his t-shirt in hopes he catches your drift.

“Off. Now.” You demand sharply, getting more impatient by the second.

He obliges instantly, stripping the garment off his body to reveal the most gorgeous set of abs you’ve laid your eyes upon, he’s so unreal it makes you constantly question if you’re dreaming. You went from his neck to kissing his plump lips, his hand cupping the side of your face to deepen the kiss, both so desperate and horny for each other. Running your manicured hands down his beautiful body, just the tiniest flexing Hyunjin does with his muscles makes you go crazy. You need him to manhandle you, have you bent over and get fucked senselessly.

“Lie back Jinnie, m’gonna suck you off.” You command him to move, getting up from him so he can pivot into a more comfortable position.

He shuffles around, leaning into the leather seat before quickly undoing his pants and sliding them down his ankles. You get on your knees, disappearing between his legs to come in contact with his stiff erection. Tracing figure eights on his thighs, he hisses from your delicate touch. You couldn’t resist planting a chaste kiss to his stomach, leaving another wet kiss to his v-line. Any little touch makes Hyunjin’s heart beat out of his chest, he can’t get enough of you just as you can’t of him— high off each other like an addictive, psychoactive drug.

As you finally free his cock from the last barrier, his boxer briefs, you’re in awe from just how much precum he’s leaking already. His length stood straight up resting on his stomach, faint veins protruding around the shaft. You kiss his pretty pink tip while looking up at him with innocent eyes, grabbing the base of his cock, opening your mouth just a little to provide a few kitten licks. You’ve only just started but he feels like he’s going to come undone already.

“Shit-” he lowly grunts, feeling his cock pulsate in your tiny hand.

Taking him further in your mouth now, you manage to fit half of his length, bobbing your head up and down while keeping a tight suction on his cock. Hyunjin involuntarily rocks his hips into you, making you gag just a little from how big he is. You could never fit all of him (except for that one time you were super drunk and magically forgot what a gag reflex was) but you still try your best and that’s all that matters to him. He loves that you’re always willing to give him random blowjobs whenever and wherever, you both love public sex and the idea of possibly being caught. You take a short break to collect more saliva, spitting on his cock and spreading it with your hand to make it even messier. His mouth was permanently agape, staring down at you with lust filled eyes, not knowing how much longer he can last. When you start pumping his cock much faster along with swirling your tongue around it , he thinks he might just lose it. Panting heavily, he shifts underneath you in attempt to get you to stop but you keep sucking like the cock hungry slut you are for him. He’s seriously going to nut any minute if you continue at this rate.

“Babe.. you’re gonna make me cum if you keep this up…” he closes his eyes, almost giving in to what’s inevitably about to come.

“Isn’t that the goal?” You ask quickly before going back.

“No,” he says, slightly frustrated with you for not obeying, “fucking this tight little pussy is.”

You’re confused when he’s pulling you away from him, moving you from the floor and back onto his lap all in one swift action, manhandling you for real this time. “What’re you doing!” You raise your voice at him like a brat, to which he spanks your behind in response.

“Shh.. relax.” He shuts you up by pulling you in for a slow, sensual kiss.

You moan into his mouth, melting right into his touch like always. “Need you so bad please..” you whine for to feel more of him.

“Tell me what you need, I’ll give it to you baby.” He promises, lacing his fingers in your hair, looking at you with pure admiration.

“Your cock.. need your big fat cock inside me now,” you beg like a good girl, “please daddy, i’m literally soaking for you.” Shameless at this point with how you talk, but you know the dirtier you get the more Hyunjin likes it.

He can’t say no when you ask so polite that. “I’ll give it to you, I’ll give you whatever you want princess.”

And he does.

Once he rids you of your shorts and underwear, you’re back on top of him, lining yourself up with his thick cock that slides right in from you being so ready.

“Fuck you’re so wet baby.. you take this cock so well cutie,” he praises you in the hottest way possible. You’ll never get tired of hearing him talk like this to you, hence why you love to have sex so much.

“Only for you daddy.” You breathlessly spoke, getting used to his length for a moment before beginning to move. Slowly bouncing up and down his member at first until Hyunjin slams his cock into you, walls clenching as you feel every inch of him. You shifted from grinding on him in slow motion to picking up your speed, placing both hands around his neck. Hyunjin throws his head back in pleasure, wrapping his hand around your waist as the other grips the soft flesh of your ass.

“Mine… your cock is mine,” you’re going faster and faster, crying out as he matches your movements, thrusting back into you hard. “Only I get to ride this everyday.”

He doesn’t hesitate to agree, letting you know exactly who he belongs to. “I’m all yours babygirl, can have this cock as much as you want, use me to get yourself off..”

You feel like you’re about to come soon, legs shaking and spasming from his girth splitting you open. “Yes baby..” you couldn’t think straight anymore, “love your cock so much Jinnie..” You mewl from being so full and cockstuffed “mmph.. wanna have your babies.”

“Yeah? Want me to fill your little cunt with all my cum and get you pregnant, hmm ? That what you want pretty girl?” He sounded so pussy drunk he couldn’t even blame you for wanting to any of this.

One more thrust was all it took for the thread to unravel inside of you, seeing white, glowing stars as you get closer to your orgasm.

“Jinnie kiss me.”

He does as he’s told, grabbing your face to kiss you roughly, entering his tongue in your mouth to intertwine with yours. He’s so good at everything he does it’s insane. Maybe if the dick wasn’t so damn good you wouldn’t be half as crazy.

“I’m so close princess..” he announces, slipping one of his long, slender digits onto your clit, coaxing your release.

“Me too.”

Everything feels ultra sensitive to you as you approach your climax, whimpering as Hyunjin sucks on your perked nipples while you continue riding him. A sudden rambunctious crackling sound startles the both of you, but what you weren’t expecting to see outside were fireworks lighting up the night sky. You’d completely forgot how excited you were to see them, watching in amazement as all the vibrant colors morph together. Leaning in to tenderly kiss your boyfriend who was also momentarily distracted, you get back right to business, chasing after your highs. Hyunjin finishes inside you like you wanted, feeling his hot seed spill into your aching heat. You came undone shortly after, holding onto him while your bare chests collide. Fireworks detonate inside your body as they do outside.

As if the universe had orchestrated the perfect 1 year anniversary pre celebration just for the two of you; a perfect moment to seal your love with the glittering magic of romance and fireworks combined. Hyunjin’s so happy to have met someone like you, someone who loves him so passionately and so deeply. He may not understand why you think the way you do sometimes, or react with such brash methods, but he knows that you do it out of pure love. It’s a whirlwind of emotions dating you but he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world or have it any other way.

- 完 ♡︎

[pomodoko]

I don’t think his crush on Falin makes him creepy. Obviously Laios shouldn’t be giving microaggressions and should learn from his ignorance! I don’t think Toshiro is shallow and wholly hates Laios, yet I despise him as a person… He’s known Laios long enough to know that “dropping hints” is not a mature or effective response even though it makes sense why he didn’t have the courage to speak directly. Shuro being a fake friend was an issue long before his breaking point. Yes, he was repressed, envious and there were communication issues, but Shuro was also very genuinely ableist. Even if Shuro ‘is’ neurodivergent, people can be cruel to other neurodivergent people who are seen as less socially acceptable. Vitriol towards someone “not reading the room” is repulsively ableist.  Of course he isn’t the only one who’s ableist in the story, but the shattering of Laios’s trust is gross. Laios tries to mask but is unable to. Shuro is also a rich noble whose family literally OWNS Izutsumi (& possibly Tade). Yet he does not care about the ethics behind that. Not that he hates her necessarily, but the cold way he treats her reveals that he does not care enough to adapt to the struggles of those who are different / difficult. I feel like his spineless inaction is both a means to avoid conflict, but also a barrier that prevents him from treating others with respect. I think it’s logical for someone to dislike this dude.

I feel like there's a lot of feelings in this writing that you gotta dial back. I totally understand where you're coming from, though. Being told to "read the room" was something I've experienced. I've been betrayed by people I thought were friends because I didn't know what I was doing was annoying them. It really hurt!

I also need to admit I've been on the other side, too! I don't like confrontations at all, but I've let things boil over because I was so afraid of confrontations that I'd snapped at my friends. Especially in Toshiro's state in which he was starving and lacking sleep and just saw his own love interest kill all of his retainers. If I was in his shoes, I'd snap, too! 😭

I wouldn't use the phrase "dropping hints" though. At least from my POV as an Asian from a high-context culture, where there's like, social hierarchy and such, and a lot of politeness abound. When it's something that you've been raised with for years and years, it's really hard to drop. Of course it's gonna be an issue! I think Ryoko Kui writing their argument and fight is a criticism on Japan's "high-context to the point of self-sabotage" culture. But it's important to note that it ended with both of them talking things out and Toshiro straight up saying "hey if you need to run I promise to smuggle you all out of the country". Here are some posts that I recommend reading that expand on it really well: here, here, here, here, and here.

In terms of Toshiro's family owning people, it's expanded more in the manga how these things came to be, but I'd suggest putting it in context of the manga rather than IRL. Toshiro came from the equivalent of Feudal Japan, after all. Here are some more posts talking about that (highly recommend the first one! it's a great read!): here, here (contains spoilers for the ending), and here. Do note that he treats all of his subordinates with respect, and he literally begged for their aid on his hands and knees to save Falin.

Anyway, at the end of the day, you're still going to dislike Toshiro and that's fine. My goal isn't to push my interest and opinions onto other people. I just didn't want him to be disliked shallowly, by reasons that are false or blown out of proportion. The characters of Dungeon Meshi are extremely flawed and incredibly well written, and it's really hard to see characters of color be judged more harshly. It feels the fandom's treatment of these characters will reflect on myself, and that's scary.

[the-town-of-silent-hill]

I was finally able to watch the new SH2 Remake trailer and I want to shout my thoughts into the void. Overall I’m really looking forward to playing this when it comes out!!

The good:

-boy am I glad that James voice isn’t as deep as it was in the first trailer. It’s closer to the original character now and I’m relieved

-the hospital looks so good 😭

-minor detail but I like that they display your location at the bottom of the screen now because navigating those streets could be such a pain in the ass sometimes lol.

-I like how they did the fog! I think the developers did a good job of updating the look but still managing to make you feel claustrophobic even though you’re outside

-the combat is modernized, and I’m happy it doesn’t feel like James is like a military expert who’s super adept in combat. He still feels like a regular dude to me.

-I love that James and Maria will have more commentary/conversations while they explore!!

The concerns:

-I really don’t understand why the recent silent hill games have this obsession with making the other world have this red, gritty look like in SH5 or the movies. James otherworld is very specific to him; it’s dark, dingy, depressing and bleak. It very much reflects his state of mind. From the tiny bits they showed, it doesn’t look like the original and that’s concerning. I don’t want to write off the whole thing because I don’t know if that’s how it will look when it’s released; there’s still a lot we haven’t seen. But I am side eying it a little.

-Angela looks so weird? It’s so strange because all the other characters look pretty decent, but she just looks so…off. Also her voice. I’m on the fence about it because on one hand, she sounds like a teenager who is socially awkward and very distant. But the original was off putting because even though she sounded older, she also had this baby-ish tone to the way she spoke that made talking to her really uncomfortable. So idk. I hope they update her face to be at the same quality as the rest of the cast. Love that they kept her outfit the same though.

-why does Laura look/sound older than an 8-year-old?? Idk if it’s just me but it’s so weird because her face looks super similar to Kathryn Newtons, who’s in her late 20s, and yet she has the body of a child. She also sounds way less bratty and more shy than the original. I’m guessing that’s because the devs don’t want everyone to hate a little girl, but I mean…some kids are just bratty irl, and it made her feel more like a real child. The scene where she locks James in the room with the flesh lips felt like a really abrupt switch from how she was acting before.

-Maria’s outfit? Look normally I’m all for giving female characters in remakes more appropriate attire for their situations (cough, Ada Wong), but Maria is very specifically meant to be hyper sexualized, and it’s not for no reason. She is the personification of James sexual desires that he wanted his wife to have. So making her dress more conservative and taking the flirty tone from her voice is a confusing choice.

Minor nitpick:

-I’m sad the inventory menu is gone 😅

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

I want to quit a03 and just delete all my current fanfictions, i haven’t updated any of them in months. I’m tired lol. The main reason why is I haven’t been getting a lot of interactions on my recent stuff and Ik that’s not the point of writing fanfics but idk it’s a nice from motivation. I’m an attention whore, sue me.

What i’m asking i guess is how do u stay motivated??? I have a lot of ideas for things but no drive to make them a reality.

(You probably can tell who i am from this lol but its kinda embarrassing so i wanted to keep it anon)

Oh dude I absolutely get it, for real. While we ultimately write for ourselves, a lack of engagement is REALLY discouraging! I’ve said before that I went through a REAL mental struggle writing The Webs In The Rafters specifically, and that still stands. I had a lot of super nice commenters, and that helped a lot, but it was so, so, sucky to see no engagement other than the same six people. As grateful as I was for them, I really wanted more interaction. I’d see the comment count go up, but no new kudos, and I’d feel like I was failing.

I almost dropped that fic. The only reason I didn’t was my dearest boxwinebaddie regularly doing cartwheels in the comments and messaging me about the story. Encouragement from an author you admire helps SO MUCH and I want to be that person to someone someday!!! The community of ao3 can be toxic, for sure, but it’s so kickass to see the same handful of people in someone’s comms every time you read something from a certain writer!

And man, I am absolutely an attention whore. I thrive on attention. I may be an agoraphobic asshole with no friends other than my partner irl and I may literally panic so bad that I faint when I get spoken to, but we are HUMAN!!! Validation is fucking NICE!!! Being a person sucks absolute ass and confirmation that we’re doing something right helps a lot!

The only advice I have on staying motivated: I’m just fuckin insane. And I’ve said before that the ONLY reason I started writing was bc I had an extremely specific set of tags I wanted to see. I wanted to see more style injury recovery and at the time, a lot of the style fics out there were literally just boring high school aus or Stan being suicidal and I was like helll no let’s switch it up! So I assumed my mission of renovating that ship tag. I wanted sot style h/c with an ungodly amount of comfort? I was gonna have to write it. And that expanded to all aus. I developed the OrangeJuiceVerse specifically with the message of healing as the central theme. And it means so much to me. What I’m getting at is that your work really does have to have something there that’s important to you. If it’s just all random drama with no reconciliation, it’ll be really draining on you and fall flat in your mentality surrounding it.

Another thing is: if you don’t feel like updating, DONT! It’s fanfiction. It’s something you’re putting on the Internet for free. If you aren’t 100% happy with a chapter, there is no obligation to post it! Also, if you aren’t feeling up to working on a wip, mentally or physically, you don’t have to! Come back to it when you are!

On obligation, something I struggle with is my own self imposed habit of daily updates on multichapters. I usually go really wild when I start a new au, and I’ll write for it every day. But for instance, right now, it’s been a couple since I’ve posted a new chap on In The Truly Gruesome. And I have felt some guilt about that, bc I’ve sort of garnered this reputation as someone who updates frequently on multichaps, but I haven’t been feeling so great, so writing isn’t my top priority. A couple lines here and there are what I can manage, and that’s okay! Again, it’s fanfiction. Ultimately, it matters to us as the author, the story can mean the world to us, but we shouldn’t feel obligated to update, because above all we are PEOPLE with LIVES!!!

It’s also important to remember not to treat ao3 as social media. Yes it’s kickass to form a community of like minded authors who all support each others stuff, but it isn’t something that should be expected. And I CANNOT stress enough how important it is not to feel obligated to work on something just bc someone wants you too. I’m a hypocrite, yeah, considering I had no intention of continuing my TFBW oneshot “We Did It We Are A Good Team” until I had someone commenting on my unrelated works asking for a second chapter. I don’t regret writing ch 2, btw, like im really happy with it, but I did cave under pressure to some degree. And that’s not something we should do when writing. Write for YOURSELF and (unless you’re doing an ask book or something) NO ONE ELSE!!!

That’s what I got my dude. If you feel strongly about what you’re writing, by all means write it. If you don’t, don’t feel obligated. I hope this helped!

[angstyanemo]

“i would like to believe you”

A/n: yay so I’m finally posting my first Genshin fic. Uhhhh so here ya go. Idk what I’m doing so bare with my boomer-ness because I literally never post on any social media. And my procrastination since I told myself that I would try to post a fic every week this year. I’ve already made a concession to myself that I just have to work on a fic every week and have 52 full works in a masterlist. Tbf there’s stuff irl that’s really not helping but that’s just life.

Characters: Xiao and Kaeya

Tags: gender neutral reader, angst, and very tired boys who just need a hug and therapy

Xiao: 

Your eyes land on his crouched figure in the corner of your shared room. His polearm haphazardly leaned on the wall next to him. You could see the small trembles and unsteady puffs of breaths he was taking, his debt rattling him. 

You force yourself to walk over slowly, no matter how much you want to rush. When you get to him, you reach out to hold his hand and say, “You don’t have to go through this alone.” 

“I would like to believe you”, his glowing eyes meet yours “but everyone else I cared about proves otherwise.” He drops your hand like it burns him and he disappears with his signature black smoke. 

Kaeya:

You tried everything to distract yourself from Kaeya’s late arrival tonight. A short letter was delivered by a member of the Knights about a sudden change in plans. Kaeya had to go to the Winery as an intermediary for the Kights. No matter the reason, whenever he returns home, he has to deal with painful memories. 

Many might assume that the most painful part of going back home would be interacting with his brother. While it was a part of the problem, it was more difficult to be somewhere where you don’t belong and aren’t wanted. That was all Kaeya felt while he was there, even had nightmares about it before his adoptive father’s death.

You knew how hard it was for him no matter how short the short the visit. It was no surprise when he did show up, his posture was slumped instead of his usual confident stride. You already tried to make both the couch and the bed as comfy as possible so it was easier for the both of you. You simply followed him to whichever spot he wandered over to so you could comfort him.

All you could really do is take your place next to him and be there. He was never really up to talking when he got like this. So you focused on more physical things like warm blankets, rubbing his back, running you hands though his hair, ect. Eventually, you felt a need to brake the silence. “I know you’ve made progress with your brother and I know that they can keep improving. Things might never be the same and that’s okay. You’re both different then who were back then. Perhaps that’s the key to forming a new bond instead of chasing something lost to the past.”

He just sighed slightly against you neck while hugging you and said, “I would like to believe you but I just don’t know if I can keep trying anymore. If I even want to.”

[absolutebl]

Hi! I was reading one of your posts about Age and it’s influence in BL. I noticed you mention ZeeNuNew pairing feeling a bit too much. I def agree! While I watched and enjoyed Why R U? The dynamic in Cutie Pie felt sooo intensely dominating from Zee. Not that I have any issue with that but his dynamic with NuNew and the execution of the plot wasn’t my jam so I DNF. Anyways you also mentioned MewGulf mishandled that similar dynamic and that’s part of what went wrong with their branding with a worry about the same thing possibly happening with ZeeNew. Could you elaborate? Disclaimer: I’m not trying to get into the drama of it all I’m just genuinely curious bc there’s something about ZeeNuNew that I can’t put my finger on that isn’t vibing to me. Maybe it’s bc I don’t watch much bts or interviews so I don’t know what their dynamic is like but Even the promos for their up coming knight and Prince series gives me the same oppressive dominating feel to me, where I didn’t get that sense from ZeeSaint. I understand those are very different series though. from what I’ve seen of their acting pairing in Cutie Pie and some content floating around, i agree their dynamic feels like a lot and I wonder how that could translate into a deterioration of their branded pairing. Thanks! That was a long one sorry!

I don't really like to gossip about the pairs.

The wigging you are getting from ZeeNew I also got from MewGulf.

Pure unadulterated speculation as to why I personally get wigged out?

It seems to happen when one half of the pair is both significantly older AND also significantly more experienced (in the entertainment industry) than the other one. And then they are encouraged to pair brand a ship. The older performer already has social clout by virtue of his age, but when he's also the bigger name and more experienced entertainer, this hands him significant professional clout as well. The result reads as very dominating and domineering, but in interviews and on screen.

I don't know if it reads this way because it's combined with IRL shipping so it reads almost like a non-codified socio-professional D/s relationship. Or if it's just me being utterly disgusted by IRL shipping culture in general and getting wigged out by this particular extreme of a power dynamic. Or if it's just that I, with a very individualistic upbringing, am freaked out by the implications of this power dynamic on the actors involved (especially the younger one) both as brands, and as professionals, and in their emotional wellbeing and identity.

There is a tiny edge of this to SamYu as well, for example, although things are different in Taiwan around pair shipping, but still Sam was both older and way more experienced and well known than Yu.

When Zee was paired with Saint, he was older but Saint had way more acting experience, so Zee was more differential to him for that reason.

Skipping over to Korea, the Parks have a huge age gap but about the same experience in terms of Kpop/entertainment industry, and were both new to acting, so that made a difference to their dynamic I think. 

Plus Korea doesn't really ship the BL pair (within Kpop groups, sure). The Kissable Lips boys are pair branding, but that's entirely their own choice. (This is why some of us worry over OnlyOneOf a lot.)

Also, I have to assume personalities are also involved. 

I don't know these boys personally, so I'd never make assumptions, but in interviews Zee has alway read as a dominating personality (as did Mew), where as Sam comes off as more jocular and easy going, and Park Seo Ham as your classic reserved Korean gentleman. And I am speaking to the older boys in this matter because they tend to take point and lead interviews, or be deferred to to answer first etc... That's normal behavior in age=status societies, it's how the individuals ACT around that power that says something about the attitude/behavior of the actor.

[cakeboxie]

I have once again come to the realization that a lot of the reason rich folks, but particularly young rich folks don’t empathize with the poor is bc they literally can’t fathom living how we do.

For reference, I got my T5 recently (Canadian tax document for social benefits, my disability income n whatnot) and it listed my total income for the year of 2023 as 8k and change

That’s 8k Canadian btw, so less than $6000 usd.

The poverty line is at roughly 30k CAD for those interested, and I make considerably more than most disabled people in my province bc I’m considered permanently unemployable and have severe diet restrictions (I’m allergic to fucking everything)

I mentioned that to one of my irl friends who is well off (not even rich, but they have rich parents) and they quite literally could not understand how I was able to function. They make roughly 2k a month, and live rent free at their dads place (their dad is currently living in a different province too so they live completely alone)

I started explaining how me n my roommates do bills (I foot utilities, wifi, and insurance, my roommates split everything else) and they stopped me more than once to question how we managed to do things like feed 3 adults on $170 a month (food bank, the church I go to when the religious guilt gets bad always gives me food on my way out. Only shopping sales)

They couldn’t wrap their head around it, this person spends almost 400 a month on themself for food, not including occasionally eating out. They told me, word for word

“I kinda expect most people who make that little to be dead or dying.”

Ig it’s telling that the only way I could persist on so little cash to them is literally being dead? Idk man. This whole thing is something I’m passively aware of cause like, I grew up the level of poor where I was the kid they talk about in ads for breakfast programs where school breakfast is usually their only meal. I processed recently that I didn’t have “real” toys (I had a hand me down ds and a small collection of <$5 bargain bin games, and nothing else until I was 14) and that’s why my mom always wanted me to go outside and play with sticks and dirt, and wouldn’t let me bring my friends over. Bc there was fuck all to do and most parents don’t appreciate their kids being covered in mud. (My mother managed to be completely unaware that we were not the only ones living in abject poverty)

And like- I say that to people (the toys thing, living relatively comfortably on so little) and they go bug eyed like it’s not insanely common, almost everyone I knew as a kid was poor too.

A part of me wonders how much of the shock comes from me being white passing, bc when I mention the neighborhood I grew up in, and the one I currently live in, the vast majority have the same general response (“oh shit- is it true that people get shot there all the time?” No. They’ve both just a got a lot of bipoc, particularly black and native folks, and the rich white assholes that wanted to gentrify it started spreading that racist garbage bc they failed to force the people living there out, which obviously means it’s actually uninhabitable /sarc) and it’s not surprising that all my friends and neighbours are poor. But me? Someone you could mistake as very white until I stand next to my mom and grandparents? It’s mind boggling to them that I was just as poor.

I had a point to make when I started writing this but now I’m just pissed, and I want to go visit my grandma, cause it’s been a while and she still lives over where I grew up, I’m pretty sure this one really good family run donair place was able to reopen too (had to close for a while bc the owner was really old, ended up retiring and passed the place onto his kids iirc) so I might see if I can afford one when I get paid.

[softlenaluthor]

I had a weird but quite fun dream just now, so I’m writing it down here so I don’t lose the memory of it, I guess. It’s one of those dreams that you kinda want to get back to, and it’s a little sad too. But to me it was a fun dream. It was better than dreaming about people I miss.

So me, in my personal life, I’m in assisted living. It’s something I’m struggling to share irl if it ever comes up. I’m constantly confronted with a feeling of “I don’t belong here”. But then again, I also don’t feel like I belong in a house alone. I feel like I’m an adult, but not really. It’s a mental institution, but not really. The other people who live in the house also have their own issues and reasons as to why they live here. I have to say I’ve been living here for nearly two years and I don’t feel anything for anyone. I feel like an outside here just like I feel like an outsider in the “outside” world.

One of the goals of this institution is to train to eventually live on your own.

So in my dream, my coach told me that I had to enroll in a program along with the other residents, a mandatory program in “how to be normal”. So I went to a special facility where I would take my test. I went into the room and saw all the other residents taking their test already. One particular man, I noticed, struggling with it quite verbally. I peeked at his test and noticed the question said something along the lines of “whenever I feel wooqusuwwiwudbsuskir I will then quauwkjsusaowiwh”. So I personally couldn’t figure out what the question was saying, either.

My coach stopped me when I wanted to sit down and take the test. She told me that they have a special assignment for me. There was a woman living nearby who I needed to interact to in order to pass my test. I was quite baffled that I was the only one with a different test, but I was like “sure”.

So we went over to her house, it was a very dark neighborhood, but the house lights were on so someone was clearly home. With all the curtains closed I couldn’t do much besides see some faint silhouettes in the room. My coach immediately retreated into the shadows when we approached the house, clearly indicating that I was to do the initial contact alone. I was nervous about it, but there wasn’t much else I could do besides accept.

As I approached the door, I noticed that the woman was sitting in front of the tv. I debated where to knock on the glass or the wooden frame of the door, and opted for the glass: I attempted three decently loud knocks. As the woman’s gaze shifted from the tv, through the hallway, to the door, I raised my hand in greeting as to appear friendly, and not like a crazy stranger knocking on people’s door in the dark.

Much to my surprise, she had no qualms about getting up and approaching the door. As she swung the door open, I was surprised to see that she wasn’t some “sad old lady” like I expected when my coach told me about my assignment with her. She was just a little taller than me, but young, around my age I would say, and quite pretty. It felt comforting knowing that I wouldn’t be forced through a social interaction with someone I didn’t feel like I had anything in common with. It gave me the strength to speak up. I knew I had to work hard to sell my story, because who would let a random stranger in just to talk?

I said, “excuse me, I-”

She was quick to interrupt me. “You’re here for your normalcy test. I recognized you from last year as I approached the door.”

Another weight fell off my shoulders the realization sunk in that I must’ve met this woman before, that she didn’t seem to blame me for not recognizing her earlier, and that this would make my assignment a whole lot easier and somehow, my coach forgot that I had already done this test with this woman.

The woman was definitely approachable, and I felt all the tension drain from my body as she moved to open the door further to let us in. I felt myself shift on my feet teasingly, as I leaned in a little to whisper conspiratorially: “How fun would it be if we went in and pretended we didn’t know each other, just for a little while?”

The woman was game for that, the smile she returned just as playful as my smirk. I thought to myself, this would look like I’m doing good so far, as my coach looked on. I also thought to myself, I like this woman, I wish we could be friends. As I thought that, I also heard a sad voice in my head supply: but you’ll never ask her that. The other part of me agreed, I would never ask her that. Maybe, at most, I’ll follow her on social media.

In my dream, I thought to myself, “it’s just nice to feel like you want to be someone’s friend.”

And then I woke up.

[adollchild]

Hihi~! Recently as of now, I've been debating on whether or not I should become a caretaker/caregiver/etc. This thought first occurred to me when I first took a deep dive into the world of agre! And now has occurred once again, now that I am in a few discord servers with some littles/ageres.

--------------------------

I'd like/plan to be a long-distance/digital CG (if its possible ofc!)

But if I were to become a CG, I do not feel entirely comfortable with adult littles. I also don't really feel comfortable with in-person CG. (Being online will do me just fine!)

Reason; I am a minor, so I think it would be best preferred of me to CG other littles with big age's like, (eg. 13-17)

--------------------------

Yes, I have been flipping through your CG guide reblogs. I don't think there's any for new online CGs :{. (From what I found searching, maybe I'm not searching hard enough lol.)

But in your honest opinion, do you feel comfortable and think it's alright for minors like me, to become a CG? Do you think minors should only caretaker other minors? (Sorry for the complicated tie breaker question here!) Uhh Thank You so much if you do answer this ask, it means a million from me~! I've just been doing a lotta thinkin at the moment and self-discovery typa stuffs.

Cheers!

Hi there ♡

I fully understand why you aren't comfortable taking care of adult regressors. I think it’s a really good idea to only engage in this type of relationship with someone your own age, rather than someone way older/younger than you.

I am in no way an expert on the subject, but I’m worried that having the full responsibility of another person’s safety and well-being over an extended period of time might negatively affect your own mental health when you’re still very young yourself.

While I can definitely see the appeal of taking care of a regressor over a longer period of time, I would recommend waiting until you’re older before engaging in that type of relationship and taking on that huge responsibility that comes with it.

If you want to get started as a caretaker as a minor, I’d recommend starting out by looking into being a babysitter for a regressor around the same age as you, since taking on babysitting gigs is something that is also common for teenagers to do outside the context of age regression. It’s still a big responsibility, I’m pretty certain that the risks of it having long term negative effects on your well-being are generally smaller, especially since babysitting occurs during a shorter amount of time as opposed to taking on a full time caregiver role.

Also, remember to be really careful when engaging with people online that you don’t know irl. You never really know who’s on the other side of the screen. I’d recommend not sharing pictures of yourself until you have verified that the other person is who they say they are. Some ways to do this is either by having a video call or meeting up at a crowded public place (like a café or a pet store), and staying there during the first meeting(s) (this option might not be a possibility if you live far away from each other). Another good tip for meeting in person is to bring someone else along with you, preferably a trusted adult.

As a final note, don't share things like your full legal name, social security number, passwords, home address, the name of your school, etc. online. This is sensitive information that can easily be used to hurt you very severely and pose a great threat to your safety in the wrong hands. (You probably already knew this, but better safe than sorry! I don't want you to get hurt.)

I hope you could use my reply. Sorry if it got a bit long ^-^

[vivid-mandrake]

hi, i’m vivi!! i’m a new trainer on my journey through unova, and i’m using this account to make new friends and keep track of my adventures!

i’m 15, my pronouns are she/her, and i’m from nacrene city. my journey started on 1/10/24! <3

here’s my trainer card!

andddd here’s an old picture of me and my starter! (this is the only way i could get it to format right)

now, the most important part… my team!

prancer - sawsbuck - he/him

adamant, alert to sounds

my starter! he’s a breed-standard sawsbuck except that he has blue eyes. i got him when i was 8, and he was a sort of ‘bodyguard’ for me. that has turned into some overprotectiveness, but we’re working on that! he prefers being out of his pokeball (i haven’t figured out exactly why) so we pretty much always go places together

salami sandwich - krokorok - she/her

hardy, loves to eat

100% breed standard krokorok. either salami or sandwich, i use them pretty interchangeably. we met at the desert resort when she snatched my sandwich straight out of my hand. she and prancer had some hostility issues, but they’ve been mostly resolved. she’s extremely food motivated, and will eat (or try to eat) anything you put in front of her mouth.

twiggy - emolga - he/him

rash, highly curious

breed standard emolga, except for a white-tipped tail, and my most energetic pokemon by far. he’s also very social, and loves forcing my other pokemon to play with him lmao. he’s especially fond of prancer, hitching rides on his antlers all the time, and is a terrible influence on pepper

pepper - eevee - she/her

naughty, somewhat vain

a shiny eevee crossbred with shinx, she likely came from a shiny mill situation. she has narcolepsy and some immune issues, and hatched on 2/9/24. loves stealing/hiding my stuff and getting brushed. she really enjoys playing with twiggy and being poorly influenced by him

and.. hm.. i’m not sure if it counts, but my rotom phone is named buzz. sometimes it posts, but it only uses emojis to communicate

//OTHER BLOGS

@fenneky-fox eebydeeby irl, fennekin sleeby

@warrior-wandering cursed chosen

//ooc info!

mod uses they/them pronouns <3

i’m not a minor but vivi is. the most nsfw this blog will get is biology class or maybe a dirty joke here and there

pelipper mail is on! magic anons are off!

pretty much anybody, including sapient pokemon, can interact, but vivi will assume they’re just role playing. she will go with the ‘bit’ though

everything is low stakes, cause i don’t have time for that sort of stress in my life

my canon is a mix between anime and the games, with some real world biology thrown in there (so in other words, i’m making shit up as i go)

also in my canon legendaries are rare and most don’t have any reason to interact with humans. mythicals are more likely to interact with humans but still rare

i love and encourage nosy people. ask vivi (or me) anything (that’s appropriate)

you can send an ask from literally any ask game ive reblogged as long as you also include the question! i have them all in #ask games

i’ll add more when i think of it ^-^

[newhope8]

Hello everyone. 🥰💕 I hope this finds you doing well. 🦋🙏🏻

I was recently inspired by @its-hannjisung’s New Years Eve 2024 post to tell my journey into the land of K-pop thus far. (Incidentally, do you write K-pop with or without a hyphen? I personally alternate between with & without, lol. 😄🙌🏻) I happily re-blogged her original post (my only item on my page thus far); it’s the one with the animated gif photo of Jisungie waving happily at the camera - & he’s got a light pink-colored scarf draped loosely around his neck. Perfect choice for a photo banner, btw. ☺️ I love it so much. 💗

Briefly about myself … I am Jordan2delta, 33 years old, born a female 🚺, identifying with she/her/hers, M/F with relationships irl (tho Minsung has a soft spot in my heart for some reason). 💃🏻👩🏻🙋🏼‍♀️ You can call me Jordan for short; not my real name irl, yet it’s one I like to use on social media. I just like the sound of it. 🙂

A year & ½ ago is when K-pop first found me … mid-June, beginning of July 2022 to be precise. I should say a year & ¾ ago now, lol … since it is now 2024. Where does time go?

💕💜Read More💕💜

The first group I found was Stray Kids & it was with one music video of theirs in particular that I felt a new spark of hope flicker alive in my heart. (The MV was God’s Menu.) I was randomly scrolling around on YouTube late one night, watching another channel and trying to get my brain to go into numb survival mode in order to cope.

A few months prior, my parents and I relocated from our hometown to a different city in another state due to my dad’s work changing (he is the primary income provider/ “breadwinner” for our family at present). I had a full-time job of my own, with a good salary and excellent company benefits … yet sadly, I did not earn enough to stay behind on my own so I had to move with my folks. I was heartbroken, for I had lost my friends/ co-workers, my source of income (some of the best I’ve ever earned), & the remaining ½ a semblance of a normal life. Natural joy started to flicker and stutter out in the deepest part of myself and some days, I felt so desolate that it was as if my heart was being squeezed internally by an invisible, evil hand … and the liquid weeping from my soul was a thick, black & foul-smelling poison - grief. No one in my family nor other loved ones had passed away, yet I think you can see where I’m coming from. I recall going to bed one night in our new apartment in this new city and feeling my chest being tight … yet it wasn’t actual chest pains. It was hopelessness at our current family situation (which is still continuing to this day). 💔

So, it’s the middle of June 2022 & I’m watching a few videos on a channel I’d recently found. That channel was called Jin & Hattie. Go check them out, btw. They’re adorable. He’s Korean 🇰🇷 she’s British 🇬🇧. They’re also recently married (sometime in 2022 or early 2023, I don’t recall which). No, not the Jin from BTS, haha. 🤪😄💜 I glanced at the sidebar of video recommendations and my eyes strayed to one of SKZ’ videos that randomly appeared there. I may have even clicked on Maniac first, I don’t remember. The point is, God’s Menu caught my eye. I was captivated by the sound and beat of Changbin’s opening rapid-fire rap lines. The next thing that caused my heart to wake up was Felix’s deep baritone, of course. Everyone (& I mean anyone who’s even remotely heard of Stray Kids) knows what part of the MV I am talking about. Does Michelin 5 star ring any bells? 😏🔥 I don’t know what came after God’s Menu to be honest with you & the rest as they say “is history”. I recall reaching for my phone, which was resting on my bedside table next to my bed. I tapped into Apple Music as fast as I could and IMMEDIATELY began building a Kpop playlist. As I bunny-hopped from song to song of theirs, I would add it to my music playlist. Before the night was over, I’m fairly certain I had 20+ songs on that list. And oh, what a glorious list it is. (Flash-forward ⏭️ to the present day {January 2024, as I’m drafting this post in a Google Doc on my tablet} & there are now 141 songs on this playlist, totaling one minute shy under 8 hours … 7 hrs & 59 minutes, according to Apple Music, haha. The last 30-odd songs or so are ones I’ve heard on TikTok on various fan-made edits, so those naturally {to me…} MUST go at the bottom of my main Kpop list. Does that make sense?)

Here’s a brief look at my playlist (& yes, this is what the Apple Music playlist interface can look like). Obviously, this isn’t all of it … just a mere sample. ⬇️ (I need to update this photo of Jisungie as my playlist thumbnail. He’s my ult chief bias OF ALL TIME, btw. Any recommendations for a good photo of Quokka I could use? 🥰🐿️) Yes, I am a proud multistan. 🙌🏻 My irl name I have blurred out with purple-pink. ⬇️ In case you’re curious, yes … you can add whatever photo you want as your playlist’s thumbnail & create a custom catchphrase, just below the Play & Shuffle options. ☺️

After I gave new life to this list of joy ⬆️🇰🇷, I was again randomly scrolling around on social media one day. This next step in my journey was on Facebook, a platform I’ve been on for the past 13 years. I’d clicked around and began “follow/ liking👍🏻” any Stray Kids-themed page I could find, both official & unofficial accounts. A post caught my eye & I stopped long enough to read it. It was talking about how the members enjoyed communicating with STAY on the bubble 🫧 app, both reading messages of support and sending out notes of their own. I remember thinking, what in the world is BUBBLE, so I went over to the App Store and downloaded it to my phone. 2 seconds later, I had an account created and soon discovered the public chat room feature. (This has been discontinued for some time now, unfortunately, due to harassment & bullying allegations between toxic fans and non-toxic individuals.) Had I not randomly [again with RANDOM, I know, haha…] got on bubble when I did and entered the first chat room, I would not have begun my online friendship journey with several different Stays.

I remember feeling a sense of connection to 3 people in particular at first, among the many I was talking with at the time on 🫧. One was a school girl, in her early teens; another was a young single mother in her early 20s; the third person was another young lady in her late teens, about to graduate from high school. The school girl was from the United States. The single mom was from a country in South America; (I am not going to say which country she lives in, to protect her privacy). The late teen was from a European country. It was not long before my new friends and I moved our conversations over to other social media platforms, where we could talk more easily. The girl, single mom and I began talking on WhatsApp. The late teen & I began chatting via private messaging on Instagram. It was only several weeks after the “conversation migration” between me and these people took place that JYP disabled the public chat room feature entirely. I distinctly recall saying to the school-girl friend that I’m glad I found the app when I did; otherwise, I would not have “met” them at all, nor had the blessing of their friendship in my life.

It was when I began texting back & forth with the single mom ⬆️ that I was first introduced to the lovely world of fan fiction (“fanfic” for short). She was writing a multi-chapter story that she was releasing to her Wattpad account, a few chapters at a time. Her native language was not English, so every 2-3 weeks or so, she would text me and the school girl 2 chapters to read and get feedback on, in English using Google Translate. (Single Mom did speak some English, to clarify.) Yes, her fanfic was Stray Kids-themed and it was beautiful. 🥰 I would read her chapter installments and write back what I thought was happening in each one; in essence I was loosely paraphrasing, NOT NOT plagiarizing her work, I hasten to add. ☝🏻 She was thrilled at these summaries, as I came to call them. She told me many times in our conversations that it was a joy to read her own story from another’s point of view. I assured her I was not re-writing or copying her ideas, merely paraphrasing and putting into English grammar/ punctuation what she’d already written … i.e. using her original “manuscripts” as a guide. This went on for the rest of 2022 & part-way into 2023. The school girl would text back when she could, having begun her freshman year of high school (or secondary school if you live OCONUS {outside the continental United States}/ means overseas).

The Late Teen was close to finishing her high school years, not beginning them. My interactions with her lasted only a few more months. I remember she was saving up for a new laptop computer & did indeed buy one. I know this because she proudly sent me photos of her new computer. 📸💻 I began interacting with her only several weeks before School Girl & Single Mom. It was around the time of the Maxident comeback (October 2022) that my conversations with Late Teen began to slowly trickle to a stop. This was a natural progression, neither of us ended communication, it just simply stopped on its own. And that’s the way life is - some people are in your life for only a short time & then they go away for whatever reason. I wished her well in one of my last messages to her & haven’t had contact with her since. We’re still “friends” on Instagram, but we do not talk anymore. And I am ok with that. 🙂 I hope she’s doing well and has enjoyed all the comeback albums since then.

My conversations with School Girl and Single Mom lasted longer than that & were frequent in nature. I still have individual chats with each of these young ladies on WhatsApp, plus the group chat I created on there between the 3 of us 🍜🍜🍜… yet it has been 3-4 months at least, if not longer, since I’ve had more than a few words in reply from either of them. That is totally ok with me too: the girl is now in her second ½ of 10th grade in high school & the single mom’s young toddler has begun a Kindergarten daycare class. I will always be there for them, any time, should they still wish to communicate with me.

As you may have noticed, there is a definite theme of randomness to all of my Kpop experiences thus far. This continues, as you will see. 😄

My next “online Kpop friend” I recall making on a Stray Kids STAY fandom chat room on the Discord app. And again, if it wasn’t for some more random scrolling around on Facebook & commenting on 1 post, the admin of that SKZ fan Facebook page would never have known to add me to her Discord chat room. This next friend I will name Flight Attendant, for that was her job. And again, to protect a friend’s privacy, I will not say what airline company she works for. We began talking just over a year ago, in mid-December 2022. After texting back & forth on Discord for a short while, I again found myself moving a conversation over to dm (direct message) on Instagram. It was a particular joy for me in chatting with this individual, as we were the same age (she’d come to tell me later on when her birthday was; she was only a few months older than me). Do not misunderstand that the previous 3 individuals (School Girl, Single Mom & Late Teen) meant any less to me, they did not. Everyone knows how fun it is to interact with someone your own age (or in your own age group), is all I am saying here.

I do not know if Flight Attendant still works for the same airline, has switched companies entirely or is even in the aviation industry at all anymore. The last we talked was around mid-August 2023, as she was planning to attend KCON 2023 in L.A. with her 2 sisters. ATEEZ and Stray Kids were both slated to appear in concert shows there, plus give fan-meet events as well. For the ½ a year (give/ take a few months in between) she kept in touch, she confided some very personal things to me … of which I always kept her confidence. I was honored & very humbled that she felt safe enough talking to me through our chat to share what she did. She had some very hard ongoing family dynamics she was trying to navigate, on top of maintaining a semblance of a normal life for herself in between working back-to-back 16+ hour shifts with little to no sleep, depending on her flight schedules. Everyone, the next time you take a flight somewhere, anywhere … please PLEASE PLEASE be kind & courteous to the cabin crew, particularly the flight attendants {both male & female}. They work very hard to make your travel as easy as they can. Some aren’t as nice as others, of course, yet I’d like to think the majority of them are decent enough folk. I think you get what I’m trying to say here. They deal with some very nasty passengers (“pax” for short) & giving your hard-working and under-appreciated flight crew even a little amount of kindness in return goes a very long way. They may not ever remember your name or your face after you leave their aircraft & the current flight trip, yet they will always recall the kindness of your soul in reaching out to them with a smile.

I messaged Flight Attendant back a few times more on Instagram over the following months (fall/ winter 2023), yet never received a response. After deliberating for some weeks, I deleted our private chat thread entirely (from my end) on Instagram Messenger. Flight Attendant, if you ever read this (this individual knows who she is), it was not intentional. I never heard back from you & only wished to say hello one last time. I hope you’re doing well & a new semblance of peace has re-entered your life after all the hard things you went through. Please reach out to me any time, I am still here. You know where to find me on Instagram, you know my TikTok & you have my personal cell phone number. If you send a regular text though, please identify yourself to me, just in case (I don’t wish to text a weird person or a scammer back…); my phone number has not changed. God bless you & from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being my friend and for the gift of your friendship and all it gave me. 💕🙏🏻

I will forever be grateful to Flight Attendant for the following reasons. ⬇️ If I’d never become friends with this person, I’d have never had these joys otherwise. So, because of her, I …

Discovered the world of spicy, adult only, Kpop-themed fanfic for the very first time … yeah, as in the MDNI (minors, do not interact) variety. 🔞❌‼️⚠️😏🔥 Look up the author “J.S. Lee” & her H3RO and Onyx series. Holy fuck. H3RO has 6 books, Onyx has 5. They can be bought on Amazon Kindle, read for free on Amazon Kindle Unlimited or purchased in regular paperback form (also on Amazon).

Discovered the even more lovely world of 🔞+ Kpop fanfic on the Archive of Our Own (AO3) website - OMG … I will get to more on AO3 shortly.

Found new skincare products & cosmetics… Crème Shop-brand, specifically the BT21 line of products … their face wipes I love, there’s a different scented one featuring each of the 7 characters. I have tried all 7 of them - my personal favs are RJ, Cooky & Chimmy. And they’re SO CHEAP!!!!! Only $5.99/ per package. YES!!!!!!!!!

The next step in my 🇰🇷💜🫰🏻 journey would have to be when I signed up for Felix’s chat ticket on 🫧. As of today (Thursday January 4, 2024), I’ve had his ticket for 352 days. I cannot believe it’s almost been a year already! Again, where does the time go? I couldn’t do all 8’s tickets each month (that’s $30-odd dollars), yet $3.99 for one ticket … more than doable. ☺️ I’d only been chatting with Flight Attendant for about a month when I got Sunshine’s ticket. ☀️🐥 For anyone else who has his ticket (& even if you don’t), you will know that he sometimes sends photos in large batches, often “spamming” STAY with several hundred messages at a time. Most of the texts are 1-2 word notes, while other times he sends several short sentences in one text. It varies. 59 second or shorter audio messages from him also are shared; if he sends one in Korean he’ll usually send 2-3 more in English (or vice versa). I will say that the more days you have a ticket, the longer a reply you can send back to the group member. At first, you will be limited to typing only 2-3 words back. If you’re patient, you’ll be able to type more the longer you have a ticket. 💕🔖

Shortly after this, I began reading some of my first fanfic stories on AO3. You don’t have to have an account to read anything in a web browser; yet if you want to comment, leave kudos for an author or post a work of your own, yes you do have to request to join the waitlist for an account. I only had to wait about a week or so before the website sent me the official “account creation invite” link.

I will say this about fanfic stories on AO3 … no matter the level of spice, fluff, angst & smut (from G-rated to R & beyond), they made me feel less lonely. It was liberating for me to put myself in the Y/N (Your Name) character’s position and transport myself into another world, albeit temporarily. Even if it is a quick re-read of a favorite one-shot story, it’s always a happy journey into Delulu Land I’m pleased to undertake. I still feel this way about the stories at the present time. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not 100% bereft of friendships and human connection irl to survive solely on fanfic smut. I have 2 other newer Kpop friends I have regular conversations with, plus I have my family about me in my home life as well.

This thought brings me to the next individual whose acquaintance I made. She is a very successful fanfic author on AO3, quite steamy 🔞+ stories mainly. Flight Attendant sent me a link to a story called Tangled; it’s written by ThisPeachIsDirty. Yes, the author’s name is all one word together, each word is capitalized. This story of hers is 60 chapters long & part 1 is complete. Part 2 has two chapters thus far, with who knows how many more to come. Peach🍑, as I’ll refer to her, is a very kind & caring individual & after reading my way through 60 chapters of pure bliss, I began chatting with her on Instagram Messenger. After a few messages were exchanged between us, she encouraged me to begin writing a fanfic of my own (therein being my first ever written sex smut scene). I vividly recall writing for a span of 5-6 hours straight one afternoon & happily sending Peach🍑 screenshots of my first feeble attempt at fanfic smut. I recall her complimenting my unique style, which she told me was unlike most of what she’s read & that I had a natural gift for writing. I don’t know about that per say, I’ve only posted a small handful of chapters (& that was back in August of last year, 2023). I’ve not abandoned my stories; I do have plans to continue with them, plus ideas on a spicy one-shot 3some between a made-up female Y/N & 2 male characters. Oh yes. 🔞🔥😈 Anyway, I digress. Please look up ThisPeachIsDirty on AO3 if you haven’t already. Subscribe to/ follow her content on there and leave a comment for her. You will not be disappointed, I can assure you of that.

One month prior to August 2023 (mid-July), I took the plunge and joined the TikTok community. I’d been collecting albums & other Kpop merch for the past year and slowly began making show & tell videos of items in my collection. I’m not after huge numbers, yet I’ve currently amassed 4,517 likes with 143 followers in the span of 5 ½ months. I think that’s a good accomplishment for 100% homemade, beginner-level content. What do you think? 🙂

I would mention my TikTok @ name, yet I wish to keep the more adult side of fanfic (that I’ve seen on Tumbler & AO3) separate from my merch show & tell videos. I do know for a fact that a few of my TikTok followers are minors … one told me in a direct message that she is 14; while another began her 6th grade year last fall/ is a few years younger. So yeah, I don’t want to have to worry about any “oopsey’s” crossover 🫣🫢😬 and a youngster reading something they perhaps shouldn’t … at least until after they’ve turned 18. As I noted in my short bio at the start of this post, I am 33 years old irl.

If you’re interested, my AO3 name's the same as on here - Jordan2delta. I only have 3 posts/ “works”, which are not complete. The longest story I have on there I’ve named Reclaiming a Spark. It’s Stray Kids-themed, yet I do not use the members’ irl names. You’ll see … I wrote detailed character notes at the end of the first chapter. Pay attention to the animal emojis and you’ll be able to figure out who’s who.

I was …maybe… 4 chapters in on my Spark story, as I’ll call it, when I began receiving a few kudos & comments from other fanfic users on the site. One was Peach🍑, from before. Another individual who left me a kind note is a VERY talented AO3 author too; her name is Minnieprincess. Go check out her one-shot stories on the site, if you haven’t already. Like with Peach’s🍑 stories, you will NOT be disappointed. 😏🙏🏻🔥😈🔞 Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes x10. 🔥🥵

My acquaintance with Minnie🐭👑, as I’ll refer to her, brings me to the next step in my Kpop journey. Since August 2023 when she left her first initial comment on Spark for me, we’ve become dear friends. She is an individual who I know I will stay in regular contact with for the rest of my life.

Minnie🐭👑 & I began our friendship through an ongoing “comment conversation”, back & forth, on my Spark story. We exchanged maybe 1-2 very short messages on Wattpad before connecting again on Instagram Messenger. What followed in the months since then has been one of the most beautiful & meaningful instant-instant-connection friendships I’ve ever had in my life … ever. And no, I am not exaggerating in the slightest. I think she would agree with me. She lives overseas (I am in the United States 🇺🇸) & again, like before with Single Mom, Late Teen & Flight Attendant’s details, I won’t say what country Minnie🐭👑 lives in to protect her privacy. That is my preference. If that sounds weird or prickly to someone else, that’s not my problem.

Speaking a bit more on that instant-connection aspect … Minnie🐭👑 just “got” the subconscious portrayal of my main Y/N female character in Spark & left a detailed comment explaining her first impressions of my feeble writing. No, I’m not having false modesty either; that’s just how I feel about my own musings. The closer she & I became in our friendship, to where it is at the present day, was like a band aid of light to my heart. I found a missing piece of my soul in her friendship, plus a new home. It did not take the 2 of us long before we began referring to one another as “soul sisters.” Yes, this is a 100% real thing. We’ve come to trust one another enough to share things about our lives that are very personal & very private. To put this into perspective a bit more, I am only child irl. So, having Minnie🐭👑 as my “sister” is a gift I’m thankful for x10. 🥹❤️‍🩹

My sister ⬆️ & I talked on Instagram Messenger for several months before we moved our conversations over to WhatsApp … where we communicate to this day. Longer messages at last being able to be exchanged without time & message limit constraints, we began confiding things to each other in greater detail that we’ve not been able to tell anyone else ever before (& we never will). I’ve gained new confidence in myself, plus new respect for who I am as an individual … as a mature, adult female with a mind of her own & a heart that is perhaps too big, one that loves to give and share in equal measure.

One last thing on Minnie🐭👑 … a month ago, I mailed her a Kpop care box. It took 22 days to arrive to her doorstep. I’d bought her 4 different albums and several handfuls of smaller merch items, all of which she heartily adored. 💕🥰 Having the memory of video chatting with her on WhatsApp as we opened up the Rock version of Rock-Star together (we each have a copy) is something I will cherish forever and always think of when I look back through this album’s photo book. 🥹

What may happen next with my journey? I’m not sure, yet I have a few ideas.

Getting my first-ever tattoo (or two or three), Kpop-themed …

Traveling overseas for the first time to visit my sister 🐭👑

Meeting up with Minnie🐭👑 somewhere in the US

Attending my first ever Kpop concert (preferably Stray Kids, tho an ATEEZ event would be awesome too)

Shopping at a Kpop-only stand alone store and buying more albums/ other merch

Beyond these things ⬆️, I have no clue. No matter what happens though, I will raise my hands to the sky regardless in rejoicing at the light and hope of my soul this journey has brought (& continues to bring) me.

If any of the members of Stray Kids, ATEEZ or BTS (my 3 favorite groups) read this Tumblr post of mine — may you know & never forget how much you mean to your fandoms … STAY, ATINY & ARMY. 🥹 I feel if it weren’t for you guys, I would not have ever had all of the beautiful things in my life I’ve written about in this post. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the healing you’ve brought back into mine. ❤️‍🩹☀️

Stray Kids Everywhere All Around the World, You Make Stray Kids Stay

~~Bang Chan🐺, Changbin🐷, Han🐿️, Lee Know🐰, Felix🐥, Seungmin🐶, Hyunjin🦦, I.N🦊~~

8 Makes 1 Team

~~Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Jongho, Mingi, Wooyoung, Yeosang, San~~

I Purple You!

~~RM, Jin, Jimin, Suga, j-hope, Taehyung, Jungkook~~

[thistransient]

I am pretty sure I am going to stop taking class next semester. On one hand, after one year of studying and 6 months of having a student ARC, I could get a part-time work permit and national health insurance. On the other hand, class steadily wears down my mental health every semester until break, and I am almost certain trying to work on top of that would be disastrous. I thought about trying to go directly into working, but (as far as I know, anyone is welcome to prove me wrong) it’s impossible to convert a student ARC into a work ARC, so either way I need to leave the country and reenter. Covid definitely inflicted some mental trauma, so I can’t shake the fear that I’ll be barred entry back in for whatever reason, forcing my friend to clean out my apartment and ship everything to me in whatever country I inevitably take refuge in...

He just flew back from Vietnam today though and assured me Taoyuan Int’l Airport is back to pre-covid functionality. Having a gander at Skyscanner, I saw that the airline “Fly Gangwon” goes between Taipei and Yangyang International Airport (never heard of it, evidently somewhere near Seoraksan) which tempted me briefly until I looked up the company and promptly lost confidence that they’d still be in business by the end of March. I had entertained thoughts of going to Tokyo but flights are still too expensive. I’ve been to most cities/countries within affordable range of Taipei, so either I pony up for something new, or pick somewhere I liked enough to repeat. I fondly remember Okinawa having neither feral dogs nor rampaging scooters on the sidewalk, but it’s still not the cheapest option, and I don’t even know how my school is organising this last month of class (another new teacher? and god only knows who’s taking break when), so I’ve been waffling and having the usual big-life-change depression that always manifests around this time.

I’ve been reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and it’s...well, it’s something, and I’m both a) not looking forward to my dad wanting to visit me this spring, and b) realising my whole relationship with my Chinese tutor was another bid for emotional intimacy with someone who was never capable of reciprocating the way I wanted, and I’m not sure how to extricate myself from this (class, our extracurricular artistic collaboration, my general mental entanglement, idk). I would like to make more IRL friends in Taipei, especially in my immediate area, but I’m not sure exactly how, when social engagement wears me out, and, ironically, I feel isolated because I speak tolerable Mandarin but I don’t look at all like someone who speaks tolerable Mandarin. Most of my friend-making in the past has relied on someone more extroverted adopting me and dragging me along, and I feel my odds of this have gone way down. I miss, in a way, my days of hostel work-stay where there was a constant influx of potential friends, and they all came directly to my door! Now I have to actively leave my room and go outside to a social venue and talk to strangers? However, this is not a lament with no plan for action, I’m really hoping if I hang out in Taipei while not taking class I’ll have the energy to go to more events, and sooner or later SOMETHING will happen. (I went to a “rope jam” the other week, I don’t know what I expected exactly but I am willing to go again.)

I had a moment yesterday in which I asked myself exactly what I’m hanging around in Taiwan for now anyways. I’ve basically burnt myself out with classes, I’m faced with the prospect of getting a job I’m not thrilled about just to stay in a place where honestly I’m kinda lonely and touch-starved. It was a safe space to hang out while I worked on transitioning, processing some of my never-ending queue of issues to be processed, and immersing myself in a special interest, but now what, huh? Don’t get me wrong, Taipei is a city where I find a lot of joy in everyday little things, and that definitely makes it easier to keep going alone. At the same time, I had a significantly better social network and support back in 2017, and I’m missing that connection. I’ve read that part of contentment is finding fulfillment in what one does, and I’m also at the point in advanced language study where the returns are very mild and subtle relative to effort expended. (I hadn’t considered that as a factor til I wrote it out, but it tracks.) So the next step is to look for work, and see how that changes things. Well, once I pick somewhere to fly to in April, anyways. 

[grrrlsoverdramas]

I’ve been scrolling through responses to the most recent EAW ep throughout the day because I couldn’t watch the ep right away, and now I think I need to word vomit some thoughts so that they’re not all I’m thinking about when I DO watch the episode.  Please keep in mind that I haven’t watched the ep yet!

I see a lot of responses to this ep which touch on students’ lives in South Korea and I want to speak to it because it’s a ~cultural~ thing that leads to a lot of stereotypes, even for expats who live there.  As someone who studied abroad there in university, taught students there, know hagwon teachers, and has taught students in my home country (the US) I feel somewhat qualified to speak on student experience -- of course not as qualified as a parent or someone who grew up there.

Some reactions that seem to be coming from this episode:

Young children in Korea spend too much time studying

Young children in Korea spend too much time in Hagwons (after/before school academies

Young children in Korea don’t have enough freedom

In many ways these are true, particularly the first two.  And I am sure the show is being honest/accurate about these ideas. However, I do think there are some grey areas that a non-Korean person may not be as aware of.

For context, I haven’t taught in Korea in 5 years, so of course some things will have changed (esp. in a post-Covid world), and I taught in Gwangju, which is going to be MUCH less cutthroat academically than Seoul.

Some things I know based on my experience:

If your parents make enough money you will attend hagwons as a kid. By the time my students were in 5-6 grade, they often went to sleep incredibly late because they were at Hagwons until late at night, then had dinner and did homework and relaxed for a couple hours after. This was a big problem!

However, many of these “Hagwons” were not different from after school programs elsewhere.  Students would practice instruments, take taekwondo classes (these were often the ones that most tired kids out), go to soccer, learn coding, etc... I have LOTS of kids in the U.S. who are overwhelmed by afterschool activities, especially sports, and come to school exhausted and stressed because of games and meets.

I’ve found that my American students who do long after school sports are usually short-tempered and poorly socialized.  They yell to resolve fights, create cliques, and compare student based on physical ability, in a way my Korean students did NOT.  This is because my American students in those sorts of afterschool activities are being constantly monitored by adults, and often that behavior is encouraged or modeled.

American students are also constantly monitored at school (duh!) -- a teacher must ALWAYS be in the room and outside and usually micromanage behaviors (this is expected).

In contrast, Korean students have way more free time, are largely unmonitored during recesses, and usually in the time between when school ends and hagwons start (most of my students had about an hour or so break in between), or between hagwons, students spend time only vaguely monitored at school or under the care of older kids.  It was normal to see groups of 2nd-6th graders walk to the snack shop to buy snacks, then walk to the taekwondo gyms down the street. This is a pro and con.  In general I found that my Korean students were better at resolving conflicts on their own, expressing themselves, and being responsible.  On the other hand, it leaves a lot of time and space for the excessive/extreme bullying that we see IRL and in kdramas, especially as kids move into middle school.

Another reason why elementary schoolers in Korea are well-socialized is that at Hagwons, they interact with new/different kids and do creative activities. At language hagwons this often means playing games, writing stories, singing songs, or putting on plays. Don’t get me wrong, the mental load of “learning” for so long throughout the day is exhausting and kids should have more time to take breaks -- but it’s not just because kids need to “have fun” but they also need to just lay down, rest, etc. And not all hagwons are like that.  I think math hagwons and Korean or Chinese hagwons usually seemed like the most boring or rote-memorization type learning (but kids usually didn’t got to those multiple times a day).

In the U.S. I usually have three types of kids: (1)  the overscheduled kid who is ultimately just like a Korean kiddo, except way more micromanaged and less independent, who does multiple sports, plays an instrument and does extra study work or works with a tutor. They are exhausted and intense. (2) the underscheduled kid who goes home and is largely unsupervised.  they watch tv and play video games for most of the afternoon. At best, they eat dinner with their parents. If they’re on the extreme end of the low interaction scale, they probably don’t even gethelp with their homework. They are either shy or have incredibly difficulty socializing nicely with peers. (3) the kid who is in aftercare or standard daycare. Their parent might not be able to afford to stay home or pay a nanny. They do structured activities for most of the evening, but most of them are a form of play.

Most Korean kids are 1 and 3, the main difference is that some of the kids are in classes way longer, but this is often because many Korean adults work until 9 or 10 pm.

ANYWAY that’s my infodump for everything I know about Korean childcare!! Even though it’s probably irrelevent lmao

[mimicrypkmn]

introooo

✨ hiya! i’m chat, 22, right now i’m studying at an EDUCATIONAL PLACE in paldea to learn more about freshwater ecology and water types (that’s vague enough for any school faculty that i won’t get in trouble for my social media image, right?) but unova is my home! they/them pronouns please!

more below the readmore ^^

✨ i do work with other pokemon for academic and ‘helping classmates with training’ and demonstration reasons, but my team is all tatsugiri! (don’t ask about how long i hang out and look for them to have found shinies like this. don’t ask) they are as follows:

🤍 twitch, shiny droopy tatsugiri! he’s my first pokemon i caught and own, since i’m not the one who’s the OT for the family pets. he’s really cute-looking but he’s a total manipulator and will steal food right out of your hands if you don’t watch him </3 the others tend to listen to him, so he helps me keep a lid on things when everyone’s out at once! very helpful little guy outside of his shenanigans. if i can only keep one of my pokemon out at a given moment, usually he’s my go-to.

❤️‍🩹 kirby, regular droopy tatsugiri, and towards ME, he’s very sweet. buuuut he’s a bottomless pit and likes to try to hunt a lot though, so i can’t let him hang out around a lot of flying-type pokemons or trainers who specialize with them :[ i’m doing what i can to try to curb and redirect this behavior, any advice from others in a similar boat is very much welcomed

🤎 choco, shiny curly tatsugiri, she’s very much cuddly. note to anyone who hasn’t pet a tatsugiri before: they are slimy-feeling and they keep themselves wet so if they flop on your shoes you WILL get wet socks so keep that in mind when i say she will almost Always curl up next to me if we’re settling for the night and she’s out of her ball and there’s nowhere better (aka, a lake) to sleep.

❤️ figy, regular curly tatsugiri, she’s the biggest of the bunch and is pretty mild-mannered and chill. i think she was a clodsire in a past life tbh... i HAVE made sure it’s not a health issue since at first i was worried it could be some kind of lethargy, but she’s just older than the rest and has a laid back personality, clean bill of health otherwise.

🧡 stripes, shiny stretchy tatsugiri, he is sunny’s big brother! they’re inseparable. they’re the youngest of the bunch, very playful with each other, though stripes is a bit nervous around strangers.

💛 sunny, regular stretchy tatsugiri, she is stripes’ little sister :] she’s a bit more brave with new faces than stripes is, she’s helped get him out of his shell. really likes cheese.

✨ team intro aside, school staff if you’re reading my posts: no you are not <3

✨ clavell if you’re reading this: i promise there will not be another kirby incident and i am making honest efforts to prevent him from chasing after other students’ pokemon. also if you are reading my posts no you are not

✨ if you’re at the academy and taking a class i’m in feel free to hit me with an email if you want to meet up and have our pokemon meet up! (no bird-like ones yet!! i’m sorry) kirby, stripes, and sunny would really benefit from socializing more and we can trade some class notes, maybe?

-----

[[ ooc: ]]

ok that all aside, this is a pokemon irl blog, and i tag all posts as pkmn irl!!

irl i am a biology major, so my activity will probably flux as the semester progresses since it’s the last one before graduation and i can NOT fuck up my grades. if i go inactive dw abt it, i probably got busy or distracted :]

when it comes to my interpretation of pokemon its like schrodingers cat when it comes to People just over-anthropomorphize their behaviors Vs they are all quite intelligent like in the anime. its like the way people talk about cats on the internet but being a cat owner and knowing cats can really be Like That. like yeah tatsugiri are probably very smart but also i do see them as coldblooded little bird eaters and dondozo egg-destroyers being little brood parasites. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also if it bothers anyone i do hc ppl eat pokemon outside of those that r mentioned in the pokedex bc how else do you get the beef for paldean hamburger patties than the local tauros + miltank. and also bc i think pidgey tenders should be real. i will make an effort to minimize talk of it on the blog fr those that dont hc that or dont like the implications but i am a pokechicken nugget truther

[imp-furiosa]

glass onion tidbit (spoilers)

before I do this, know that this is a down and dirty quick splash of an idea that’s been knocking around my head since watching it. particular wording I know needs work and if I were writing up a paper this would be much more thought out and particular words would be very considered. in short, there are a few phrases I use here which could be picked at to undermine the entire argument and that’s not the sort of feedback I want to engage with. consider the vibe rather than the exact phrasing

thesis: Blanc’s character can point out what’s wrong but will not take the necessary corrective actions. a perfect allegory of liberal American politics that just wants to be correct, not do the correct thing

antithesis: it wasn’t Blanc’s action to take. he’s not some sort of white savior. he helped create the situation by exposing the truth but then left the shot at justice in the hands of the one person who deserved it, Brand

synthesis: Netflix workshopped and focus grouped a fun film targeted at a specific audience one might describe as “woke maskers” -- no offense intended to fellow politically motivated mask wearers. the film works very hard to create a situation where you can feel good that the Mona Lisa gets destroyed while of course the Mona Lisa doesn’t get destroyed irl. one of the first things it does is make up a fantasy mouth spray so that you don’t have to hand wring about Blanc and the others not wearing masks during their Covid party. our antagonist/villain is a guy just as insufferable as everyone else you want to punch on the screen, with the exception that we’re given some good reasons you’d actually punch him, whereas the social norms (the status quo we wouldn’t dare disrupt) say we can’t do that to the others

it’s a film about feeling good when the stars align and some rich asshole gets justice but not actually rocking the boat enough to do it for real. it’s about ignoring systemic issues to focus instead on intensely personal ones. the system is unimpeachable. you can only lash out at individual actors within the system when they commit some personal crime. like the “disruptors” in the film, the work’s final act of disruption and the good feelings it brings the audience are ultimately the false catharsis of a bourgeois placebo intended to placate its target audience. you know you’re good because you consumed a good film. there’s no need to do more (and you’re good: good people wouldn’t burn the Mona Lisa)