#I don’t know how in character this is for either of them tbh I’m half awake rn

[catcr4ft]

lol

[sleepiexx]

Miscellaneous Valeria Garza Hc’s (including some x fem!reader content)

To get the creative juices flowing bc this Val draft I’m writing is going to be the death of me

Valeria hates men with a fiery passion. Years of having been a woman in the military only showed her how vile they are, now she refuses to put up with their shit.

Fully believes that if you want something done right, you have a woman do it.

Definitely treats women better than men, she has empathy for them that she just doesn’t feel for men.

Lesbian fs fs

With that, I don’t actually think her and Alejandro had a romance type thing, they definitely had some form of bond but I genuinely can’t see her with a man so I think it was more platonic

But tbh I think w the passionate hatred Alejandro immediately had for her, no hesitation whatsoever, they had a rivalry

And I think they’re character foils for each other. So similar (yet so different) that all they can see in each other is the things they hate about themselves.

(The way this has been in my drafts for like forever and now that season three is out they’re calling them two sides of the same coin)

Despite her hatred of men, she still has some issues with internalized misogyny and femininity

She’s just so used to having to prove herself in a male dominated field that it’s hard to let go of those things

Won’t wear dresses, have long nails (although that could just go w the whole wlw thing 🤭), or drink fruity drinks

But she refuses to judge other girls for those things, her internal misogyny stays geared toward herself and the standards she holds herself up to.

A lot of it just translates into her being more of a masc lesbian

Anyways

Big spoon, always. No debate. Will make empty threats if you try to fight her on it.

“I will suffocate you with a pillow if you don’t stop,”

Pulls you around by the loops in your jeans, shirt collar, necklace, basically whatever she can pull on to move you places she will

Bites

TLDR: she has cuteness aggression to the max and shows her love in the strangest ways

I think she’s somewhat tall, like 5’9 or 5’10

Muscular af, I just know that turtleneck is hiding a ripped ass body

Abt her time in the military and her current feelings on it

I think when she was in the military, she got up to the lieutenant rank. Especially with the way Alejandro said she led the ambush on the son of La Araña.

She either still has her dog tags hidden somewhere because she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of them, or she threw them as far as she could in a fit of rage

If you’re in the military, she fs tries to convince you to leave and join her

“I could treat you better than any of these men”

And she means it

She means everything she says, even when she’s joking she’s dead serious.

Especially when she tells you she’d kill for you

When she allows herself to love someone, she doesn’t half ass it. She loves with passion.

You know that you are so loved when you’re with her because she makes it abundantly clear.

Overall just a rlly good partner, I’m actually in love w her.

[thepunkmuppet]

I have spent so much time thinking about the miss holloway musical WHICH THEY HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN and I need to spill my thoughts about it

there is no point or end to this it’s just a brain fart of all the thoughts I’ve been having so enjoy I guess lmfao

“backstory”. it will be about her backstory. was she an 80’s music star who sold her mortal life for fame in a deal that backfired on her?? or was she a woman with the gift about to be hanged by the hatchet men who saved herself by making that same deal?? HOW FAR BACK DOES THIS GO IS WHAT IM ASKING WE KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT THIS WOMAN

if it’s the former, I would love to maybe have mariah as casey (the girl with the gift in the witchwood who asked for her autograph) be an actual character who holloway maybe tries to help. also kim singing 80’s songs fuck yeah

and if it’s the latter then,,, oh wow. some heavy musical numbers, a shitload of hatchetmen / church of the starry children lore, and maybe another form of the lords in black (maybe the creepy hooded figures that we see drawn in the black book???)

also sorry EDIT I just looked at this picture again and the middle one (probably wiggly) is holding a knife. there’s no fucking way that’s not the black blade this is absolutely miss holloway guys omggggg

I would love to see this scene on stage with kim!!!! this would make 5 different forms of the LIB that we’ve seen / heard about (dolls, teens / humans, their true forms, wiggly in made in america, and whatever this is). I’m just imagining you see these black hooded figures, and then in the pro-shot you get a good look inside their hoods… and their faces are NOT human. like just imagine a massive purple eye staring out of one of those hoods, maybe even moving and blinking, a cool animatronic thing. SO CREEPY!! I also love the idea of switching up the actors again - I love jon so much as wiggly and I don’t think they would change him bc of his voice, but with the rest of them I think any actor can play a LIB which opens up so many possibilities…

I also would love to know how miss holloway met duke, and potentially even how many times they have met and then he had to forget her. considering the fact that we now have weird lore about his dad in 2005, did she know duke when he was younger?? did she help him out when he was a teenager, or help his dad?? is it a family thing, like she’s vowed to watch over the keane family or something??

duke’s dad is a big part of this tbh, because what a random insane lore / backstory drop, like WHAT? I genuinely have no idea what douglas keane sr’s murder could be about, except that it ties in to duke and to wilbur. and shows that 2005 is SO DAMN IMPORTANT

2005 was the year hannah was born, the year the portal to the black and white was created, the year wilbur cross went insane and became a disciple of the LIB, the year miss holloway took on the mantle of “miss holloway”, and (very likely) the year miss holloway and wilbur fought. so i think it’s safe to say that the musical itself will be set in 2005, which to me means macnamara and wilbur backstory alongside holloway and duke, which is very very fun

I like the idea that wilbur and macnamara were canonically together, and I really want to see pre-LIB wilbur. I also love the idea of macnamara and holloway working together or even becoming friends - despite being set a decade and a half before nightmare time, it would feel like the culmination of the two hanging plot threads / overarching arcs to me. also the idea that it was holloway who introduced macnamara to the paranormal and therefore essentially set up PEIP and doomed wiley is some juicy stuff that I would LOVE to see, especially if either macnamara or wiley lived in hatchetfield as kids and miss holloway helped them, inspiring whichever one of them to set up PEIP

ok so leading off of that I have a clear vision of a potential final scene that is driving me insane, and that’s the main reason why I patched together this post.

the final scene is the fight between miss holloway and wilbur, the one that happens in every single timeline.

and the basic idea is that we see both fights at once. there’s a song, and the stage is like black friday and spies are forever, with a level above the stage the actors can walk up to and stand on. joey and kim sing, and do their bit on the stage, but above the stage there are either doubles or a projection, mirroring the choreography. only in the pro-shot version, they would splice in joey and kim playing both pairs, which I just think would turn out looking really awesome despite being tricky to pull off live.

and yeah basically at the exact same time, one wilbur stabs holloway, and the other holloway stabs wilbur, creating a gorgeous visual representation of the newly splintered timelines.

either that or they do a trail to oregon and just do a different ending each night, and then splice them together in the pro-shot like I was saying. but I personally prefer the first one, if they’re able to pull it off and make it look good

and duke shows up just after that, having followed miss holloway throughout the story so far. and in the universe where wilbur’s dead, miss holloway makes him forget it all, hence this being the year that she takes on the new name and the fact that we know he has forgotten about her / her true past before. and then in the universe where holloway is dead, he holds her as she dies in his arms. bonus points if we get dying holloway saying “please don’t forget me” and living holloway saying “you have to forget me”. oh and just to be cruel, both dukes saying “I could never forget you” at the same time :) stew on that for a bit. yeah. fuck you I guess lol I woke up and chose violence today apparently

the idea of the two of them finding each other again after that in some timelines is just gorgeous to me, especially given the fact that NMT3 seems to suggest them finding each other AGAIN after she needs to make him forget. truly star crossed lovers they are so insane for this

in summary I guess what I’m trying to say is I think it will include miss holloway’s full backstory and then be mostly set in 2005, and centre around the opening of the black and white portal (macnamara and wilbur), miss holloway meeting duke (wilbur murdering duke’s dad, possibly something with lex and hannah if duke was already a social worker) and eventually the big fight between holloway and wilbur, ending in the audience seeing both potential endings. also obviously a reference to hannah’s birth because that seemed to be some kind of catalyst. thank you for coming to my utterly deranged ted talk goodbye

[californianedgeworth]

I wrote this tirade about the Gavinners' theme in my notes app months ago but I had no Ace Attorney fans to share it with but I have a tumblr blog now so I will unleash it upon all of you:

We only know 2 of the 5 Gavinner members. There have to be 5 since there are two guitarists, a bassist, a drummer, and a keyboard player as established by the instruments in Turnabout Serenade. But the only ones with canon appearances and names are the guitarists, Klavier Gavin and Daryan Crescend. Since we know less than half of the band, it sends my mind running who the others could be. It would have been so fun to see all the designs of the band, but we don’t! So I just have to imagine what they look like, possibly based off of Klavier and Daryan. Some people have made their own headcanons and fanart, and I like them but I feel like there’s an important matter they never touch on.

As far as Klavier goes, his design is straightforward. 

(sorry his png is so damn big. I figured out how to edit in html to make the image smaller but every time I save the textpost draft it undoes my edit. no I will not open a photo editor to size him down)

When I show a picture of him to my friends who haven’t played Ace Attorney, they ask if he’s a rockstar. And he is! His design conveys the fact. He’s also a lawyer, so his style strikes somewhere between courtroom attire and rockstar. A lot of the Ace Attorney designs are fun and great at conveying character, and I’d say Klavier is a pretty solid design.

But then there’s Daryan, who is dressed like a shark. 

Idk if anyone else agrees but I’m not a fan of Daryan’s design. I also don’t really like him as a character either tbh. If he wasn’t holding a guitar, would it even be clear that he’s a rockstar? All the Gavinners members are part of law enforcement, but you can’t really tell Daryan is a police officer either. His design kind of bewilders me. With Klavier, you can tell a lot just by looking at him. What comes to mind when you look at Daryan is “shark man”. I mean, shark man’s a sick design concept, but I don’t like looking at Daryan! I think it has a lot to do with his ugly ass hair. His hoodie’s fun, but I don't like his hair. It's an unfortunate shape. And I think the people agree: half the fanart I see of him, they change his hair.

Usually with bands, you expect them to share a common style. But in the rock band the Gavinners, one of the members is dressed like a rockstar, and one of them is dressed like a shark. Like, I guess you could argue that Daryan is kind of in line, and his fashion fits into the rocker style. But I don’t know, in my mind the fact he’s a shark guy makes him very inconsistent with Klavier to me. So that got me wondering, what percentage of the Gavinners is dressed as rockstars vs Gavinners dressed as marine animals? I thought through some of the possibilities and proposed the ones that are funniest to me

Ratio 1 - 4 Rockstars to 1 Marine-Themed Star

This would mean Daryan is the odd one out. The weirdo who is a little too into Sharkboy and Lava Girl. A band of 4 guys who wear similar rockstar styles and then there’s just Daryan in his shark hoodie. 

Ratio 2 - Split 2 to 3 Either Way

In this scenario, the band can’t agree on what their theme is. Half are dressed in chains and leather, the other half are out of a marine biology textbook

Ratio 3 - 1 to 1 to 1 to 1 to 1

The Gavinners has no theming in the costume department. Each member is dressed however they like. Aesthetic nightmare

Ratio 4 - 1 Rockstar to 4 Marine-Themed Stars

I imagine it like this:

A 16-year-old Klavier Gavin walks into the studio, which at that time is the Gavin family’s garage. The Gavinners have just come together recently, and are rehearsing for their first show. But when Klavier enters, he finds his band mates are dressed up as a shark, a wrasse, a clownfish, and a lobster.

Klavier is confused, because he thought that the Gavinners was going to be themed after Klavier Gavin. He expresses this thought to his band.

Daryan tells him that since Klavier decided to name the band after himself, it was only fair the rest of the band mates got to choose the theme. And they were all super into sea life, so they dressed up as their favorite marine animals.

Klavier is annoyed they didn’t talk through it with him and says that maybe their theme is getting a little muddled. But since they’re all so enthusiastic, he’ll try it out. And he wants to be a merman. 

All the other members side eye Klavier. A merman isn’t a real animal, they tell him. Maybe he could be a manatee, a seahorse, a sea angel, a parrot fish? All of those creatures are just as majestic and beautiful as mermen, and they actually exist. Despite Klavier’s protests, the rest of the band does not budge. They persuade him to be a parrotfish.

The day comes for their first show. They got Klavier a parrotfish costume, which he keeps making faces at as they set up.

Klavier tells the other Gavinners he doesn’t want to wear the fish head hat since it will cover up his fresh haircut, but they insist he should. As they get ready in the dressing room, Klavier excuses himself to the bathroom.

When they’re called to the stage, Klavier has not returned. They assume he might already be onstage, or will be there soon. As they all get there and Klavier does not, they start to feel concern. Klavier is their lead singer and guitarist. He’d been thinking of nothing but their show for days, so it’s strange he’s suddenly missing. They ask the manager to delay the curtain call for a few minutes. The manager denies them, saying they’re on a tight schedule and they don’t want to delay the performers coming after the Gavinners. The band considers going into the bathroom to check on Klavier, or if they could perform without him.

As the curtain begins to rise, Klavier finally walks out on stage and joins the rest of them. But he’s not in a parrotfish costume. He is in a matching black shirt and pants combo with silver chains. Not even close to being parrotfish themed. The bandmates are shocked, but know they can’t make a fuss about it when the show is starting. They give him glares while they play. But they know they must look so bad when they’re all dressed up as various fish and an arthropod while their lead singer isn’t. The performance is received well despite the tension, but there are some mild comments on how strange the costuming is. Once it’s over, the bandmates confront Klavier, but he absolutely refuses to dress as a parrotfish for any of their future shows. When they realize they can’t change his mind (and they still won’t change their minds about letting him be a merman), they agree to just go to shows that way. Four of them dressed up as ocean animals, while the lead singer is not.

Over time, the other bandmates eventually give up on the whole marine life shtick. If they’re not all coordinated, what’s the point? And from their dressing room in the AA4, it looks like the band’s styling is in line with Klavier’s. But as the other members shed their marine life costumes, one keeps his through it all: Daryan. As the band builds regard and a fan base, he remembers how Klavier ruined their theme. So many of their arguments over the music and the band image are started because Daryan is secretly wounded no one dresses up as a fish with him. Now this gets into theory territory because I believe this could be his true motivator in Turnabout Serenade—

[sad-scarred-sassy]

Genuine question but if elain and azriel weren’t going to have some romantic relationship, why did SJM even write that first half of the bonus chapter? Elucien are already mates, she could’ve written a scene with them or not mentioned azriel and elain at all.

I’m not saying that gwynriel half of the bonus chapter was meaningless, they DID have good banter and the language used was eyebrow-raising at the very least, like something is def hinted there but I’m just confused about it. Like if she’s going in gwynriel direction, she could’ve JUST written the second half of the scene. We didn’t even KNOW elain and azriel were interacting before. Like why write a scene with Az + elain and then wreck them in the same chapter?

It’s so weird?? It could’ve easily been a set up for elucien and gwynriel but now it looks more like she was setting up for a love triangle between Az Gwyn and Elain.

I don’t know what to make of this 🤷🏻‍♀️ it just felt unnecessary lol bc if the next book IS azriel, I really don’t think she is going to have him move on from Mor to Elain, then Elain to Gwyn over the course of one chapter that didn’t even make it in the book?

It makes me so annoyed to think about that stupid BC. She should’ve never released it bc whether it’s gwynriel or elriel, that bonus chapter doesn’t make sense.

Like yeah yeah, we see how toxic elriel could’ve been and we see how they would never work - but like… tbh I didn’t think anything was happening between elain and azriel UNTIL the bonus chapter. I literally read that and was like HUH when did they—??? And then he was like “this was a mistake” and they went their separate ways and he ended the chapter with Gwyn. If SJM is going for Gwynriel endgame, it would’ve been so much better if she just didn’t even include the first part of the bonus chapter?? And vice versa.

If she hadn’t written the first part, I wouldn’t think elriel was a thing. If she hadn’t written the second part I wouldn’t think gwynriel was a thing.

I don’t think she did it just for drama either so I literally dunno what purpose it serves.

Hey!! That’s a great question, let me dive into it…

I think the bonus chapter has three parts, one with Elain, one with Rhys, one with Gwyn, not only to cement Gwynriel but also to give an end to Elriel. This also while deep diving into Azriel’s thoughts and motivations.

I for one, never really considered Elriel as strongly as their shippers do, but I could tell there was something going on there, in Acowar we got some winks at Elain being comfortable with Azriel (even if kind of in a childish, innocent way) and in Acofas we got the beginning of them acting awkward with eachother, Elain showing Azriel her plans etc, I remember thinking it was at best cute and Elain obviously had a crush on Az (but he was still pretty much still hung up with Mor and she was still mourning her fiance). When I read the BC I was so shocked and uncomfortable with Azriel’s purely sexual thoughts about Elain, it was deliberate, to show the reader Azriel is probably confusing lust with romantic feelings. That’s I think why you say the BC was the first time you saw them as a couple, but this shock to me was more in the way Azriel himself actually viewed Elain, until then we all at least agreed it was in a more tender way, and this was absolutely crushed with his pov (and we actually see this tenderness in the way he thinks about Gwyn instead).

Now to your main question: Why add Elain in his chapter? And to that we first need to answer why SJM wrote Elriel at all.

As an Elucien I can’t come here and say Elriel never existed because it did, but the reason SJM wrote it is not to lead them as endgame, but to add layers and tension to these characters. Firstly, Elriel for me was there to add some will-they-won’t-they to Elucien’s mating bond. Look, with no other couple did we have a mating bond snapped and proclaimed even before the two characters even spoke to each-other. This the first time we have this scenario, and things need to go one way for the tension to be there.

If Elain was just mourning Graysen (which relationship was ended in the same book Elucien gained traction) then it would have been too given that they would inevitably find their way to eachother. So she adds Azriel to the mix, who at that point had only ever been interested in Mor for 500 years, with absolutely zero possibility of her ever mirroring his interest. It just makes sense for his character to also find that fixation on Elain, another unattainable female. This was another way Azriel continued his self sabotage behavior, and so we had the first real stepping stone into what his character arc will be when he gets his book.

But we can agree Elriel started (to act as a red herring for Elucien, add character tension, give Az an arc), gained traction in Acofas, and when Sarah introduced us to Gwyn and had the realization she was perfect for Azriel, she had to close the Elriel thread. So here comes the BC.

As readers we needed to see with our own eyes why exactly these two characters weren’t good together, just like she did this with Tamlin in a more dramatic way before Feyre could see Rhys in a romantic way, Sarah gave us all the clues in the way Azriel thought about Elain hyper sexually, how he called their encounter a mistake, how he focused too much in her mating bond, even in ACOSF we got winks of him limiting Elain when she clearly wanted to help, because she should not be exposed to darkness. Then comes Rhys, asking Azriel the questions we as readers were asking him: what about Mor? No answer. Do you think you deserve Elain? Diverting the answer to say Lucien doesn’t (showing us his possible insecurity towards him). And then we have the Gwyn part, in which we see Azriel’s character actually shine, even if he still can’t see this is actually the way, not the doomed self sabotage relationship he was entertaining with Elain.

The thing is it IS a set up for Elucien and Gwynriel:

Elucien: Lucien was there in the same house when the almost kiss happened, this is a calculated thing, the chapter could have happened a day after and it would have worked perfectly, but no, Lucien was there too. Something tells me Lucien knows what transpired, he probably could feel it, hear it, smell it or at least have some perception of it. And this just adds more angst to what Elain and him are going to go through.

Gwynriel: the obvious banter, exact opposite of Azriel’s and Elain’s interaction (for the better), and the hints of their potential mating bond.

To sum it up, Elriel was a thing before the bonus chapter, thats for sure, but Sarah needed to end it before she could continue, however small and insignificant their relationship actually was. And I don’t agree that this set up a love triangle between Elain/Az/Gwyn, when Azriel said “this was a mistake” Sarah ended any possibility of that, Elain gave him back the necklace she was at first eager to receive, Lucien was there and probably knows something happened, Azriel thought he had been right to stay away, and it ended with him thinking about Gwyn’s glowing eyes and smiling about her.

I hope this answers your question, I actually think the bonus chapter was masterfully written to tell us everything we need to know about what was actually happening inside Azriels head, and give us a hint of his future and the future of the other characters.

If she hadn’t written the first part, then we could’ve never gotten those rich pieces of information into Azriel’s trauma, red flags, jealousy and thought process that will play a part in his own book (because they’re far from resolved). By having both we could see how Elain brings up the worse in him, while Gwyn calms the restlessness inside of him instantly.

[audiblehush]

Listen, Polin has been my Roman Empire for months now, but this fandom is WILDIN’.

Chunks of this fandom who claim to be Polin fans seem to hate either Colin or Penelope and I’m just like… why are you here, then, if you refuse to empathize or even TRY to understand either critical half of the pairing?

“Colin can’t see what’s in front of him and he insulted her in front of his peers!! GROVEL; I hope Pen moves onto Debling!!!”

First of all, you’re not a Polin fan if you hate Colin so much you want her to move on to someone else. Second of all: yeah, no. Yes,Colin put his foot in his mouth, arguably in a big way because of status, but plenty of people in real life have experienced saying something that came off poorly to a group of people. Everything we know about Colin’s character tells us he is going to feel horrible about it; he’ll apologize, MEAN IT, and she’ll forgive him. She has her own apologies to make.

Believe it or, it is NORMAL for people to grow into romantic feelings slowly. Stop punishing Colin for discovering who he is by experiencing his own character arc with his own mistakes. He’s allowed to have flaws; he’s allowed to work through his insecurities!

Tbh, most of the criticisms I see of Colin are pretty surface-level and petty, so I don’t give them much real estate in my brain because they’re just… bad, lol.

On the flip side -

“Penelope feels entitled to Colin’s feelings; she’s selfish and the fucking worst!!”

S3 Penelope: *overhears Colin say he would never court her; BELIEVES him - decides she’s going to stop wasting her time, move on, and look for a serious suitor and marriage prospect a) as is expected of her in this era and b) so that she has security, especially considering her family’s dire financial straits.*

“Oh my GOD, this is so anti-Polin, how could she POSSIBLY even THINK about accepting a proposal from anyone but Colin?! GTFO”

SIGH, 1) we have NO IDEA how this plot line is going to pan out: Lord Debling may or may not be serious about her, we don’t know what that even looks like, or for how long. The show synopsis historically likes to play with the fandom expectations a lot. He may possibly propose… and if he does, it would clearly exist as a sort of parallel to S1…. but 2) GOD FORBID Penelope entertain the idea, despite very real fears and evidence that would lead her thinking it would likely be her ONLY proposal… or that even if Colin proposed post heavy-petting session, how on EARTH could she think that he would be doing it out of honor-bound obligation and not love. 🙄 Her potentially considering a proposal isn’t anti-Polin; it’s a realistic response and consideration to two (and likely an additional half) seasons worth of external and internal stressors that are tying into her character development.

Penelope’s heart is fragile for a multitude of reasons due to her home life, her prior experiences with Colin and Eloise AND the rest of the ton - it’s incredibly frustrating for people to ignore why she would potentially not believe Colin even if he DID confess / give her a marriage proposal, just like it’s frustrating when people don’t try to understand why Colin might struggle with his own feelings.

Some of y’all really don’t understand people like Penelope who have been told their entire lives that they are not enough, are terrified of putting themselves out there by being emotionally vulnerable and potentially rejected for the fundamental aspects of who they are… even though some of y’all claim to identify with Colin when he has his OWN STRUGGLES WITH SOME OF THESE SAME FEARS. And it’s almost worse because Pen is painfully SHY: You don’t just magically become confident one day because you decided to be; it is a constant battle against negativity that eventually becomes heavily internalized… it takes years of work unlearn those thought patterns, especially when you’re surrounded by people insulting and rejecting your to your face (her family) or behind your back (the way the ton talks about her family… it’s likely Pen heard gossip about herself, whether individually or as an extension of her family PLENTY)… with an added dose of also being ignored when not actively insulted.

It would not shock me at ALL if Penelope genuinely considers a Debling proposal. All of Colin’s actions in S1 and S2 have ultimately taught her that he is never going to return her feelings; she is likely going to be pretty oblivious to his own romantic realizations this season because why would she look for or entertain those hopes again? Some of y’all complain that she is selfish about Colin’s romantic feelings (which lol, I disagree strongly, but sure hypothetically, I’ll allow it) … so then when she tries to move on by listening to him and his actions she’s suddenly… punishing him and undeserving of him?? When she would have every reason to be skeptical of these feelings coming from seemingly nowhere when he starts of the season trying to find her a husband? NAH fam, she’s doing what anyone with any sense of emotional self-preservation would do: move on and try to be content, even if she knows she’ll always love Colin in her heart.

AND even if Penelope develops potentially fond feelings for Debling… do you really think it’s unrealistic for a 19 year old young woman who has done nothing but pine over a man who is oblivious to it (or worse, finds a romantic relationship with you laughable… in her eyes), who has not had ANYONE be romantically interested her… to maybe get a little fluttery around someone who is reasonably nice looking and shows her genuine interest right off the bat? Spoiler Alert: that is probably exactly what would happen because it’s a heady feeling!!!

This entire plotline is either a parallel to the Marina situation, or a reference to the book line that basically has Colin going “Oh shit, what if I had never realized Pen is the love of my life?? What if someone else had seen how amazing she was and snatched her up??” - Maybe it’s even both! Deep breath: it’s a just plot device for Polin to realize they’re made for each other.

Colin and Pen are going to be on their own journeys this season that fly in the face of what the other is going through. Colin is grappling with newfound romantic feelings for Penelope (while likely struggling to trust them because he thought he loved Marina but lol no he didn’t, so how is he supposed to know???) while also battling against former (and potentially current) impulsive actions… and Penelope is fighting for her LIFE trying to bury her feelings and move on because she’s trying to protect her heart because Colin literally said out loud he’d never want her AND she’s likely thinking of her security. They are both grappling with internal conflicts that oppose the other and THAT is what is going to make the tension and development so good… and that’s without even addressing all the LW stuff that needs to get worked through!

I need y’all to flex that empathy muscle a little and realize that this isn’t about fucking fan-service, or you projecting your own experiences onto these characters (or even the weird self-insert “I am/want to be this character” or “I want to fuck this character”) - you can relate to these characters but ultimately it’s about the STORY - it’s about exploring these characters realistically in how they would react to their own traumas and lived experiences, and how what they think they want/need comes into conflicts with their counterparts.

This is a romantic DRAMA, and these characters are going to have their ups and downs… and it’s a Shondaland drama for better or worse, so you KNOW it’s going to get messy (good lord just look at S2 and how far that “love” triangle went… I’m hopeful for the new show runner because she’s a fan).

Polin will be canon because they unreservedly CHOOSE the other and it will be glorious, so everybody chill the fuck out and stop shitting on my imperfect, emotionally fragile yet beautifully relatable, evolving lovers. They are the BEST fucking ship, but most of this fandom doesn’t deserve them tbh. They’re both messes in their own ways, and honestly? If they were real, neither Colin nor Penelope would tolerate this slander y’all are throwing at the other.

LEAVE COLIN AND PENELOPE ALONE AND LET THEM MUDDLE THEIR WAY TO TRUE LOVE. 🤬

[kikyan]

Yandere Octavinelle Headcanons

TW/CW: Dark content up ahead!! Yandere content specifically, mentions of abuse, manipulation, violence towards the reader, mental instability, etc. Proceed with caution! 

Mini side note because of the comment (that is now deleted or either I’m blocked) from my Savannaclaw Headcanons. This is yandere content, granted a quick glance at all my headcanons and other pieces by creators, you’ll see how different everyone’s interpertation and writing is different. Not every yandere content out there is yandere simulator. I don’t think all of these character is gonna pick a weapon and start going to town on half the cast. I like to focus on how they’d be in a relationship, how they’d react, and what I think they are capable of. So no, a lot of my content doesn’t have someone stalking their S/O and killing potential suitors but that doesn’t mean it’s not yandere? Sorry it’s just that I tried adressing it but I guess the OP blocked me, oh well. Enjoy!! 

DISCLAIMER:  These are my interpretations of his/her/their persona and none of these is 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional and should be taken as such! Underage characters will ONLY  be given SFW headcanons, please respect this decision!

Banner made by @herestrish​! Pls don’t steal! 

Azul Ashengrotto 

Long overdue headcanons, but I shall deliver. Azul is complicated. I think all of Octavinelle is complicated because I can see them acting in two different ways. Azul was bullied for being overweight and it had an impact on his character. He worked hard to get people to see him as someone for his abilities rather than his appearance, even if the means were shady. Post over blot he still has some insecurities, but he doesn’t shy away from them and chooses to face them head-on. As for his yandere type, I can see him as a very manipulative person (no matter what) but I can also see him as very overprotective and clingy. 

I’m torn between seeing him as someone who loves his S/O but clings on to the fear that someday they’ll leave him. Resulting in him trying to strike a contract with you without you knowing until after you try to leave him (if you do). He’s confident and prideful, but just like his over blot, he’s horrible at handling his emotions (he just like me fr).  The manipulation at first isn’t anything too extreme, just casually bashing others to bring himself up. “He won’t pull his weight on the project, I’ll help you”, or “He’s bad news, nothing good from hanging out with them.” Little by little he’ll limit who you hang out with, and what you do, and he’ll build himself up as the ever so reliable and helpful Azul. 

Overprotective, almost all of them are tbh. He cares for you, genuinely. He just can’t express himself truthfully, he might see the relationship the same he’d see a deal. He holds himself to a high standard, the type to never break a sweat in public but deep down panicking the whole time. He’d probably have the Leech twins be your bodyguards from time to time and they’ll agree for the most part. It’s interesting to see what Azul finds intriguing about you. Besides, it’s amusing to see Azul care for you in his way, even if he gets embarrassed and fumbles the bag. Cares for your education and your reputation! 

This is where it gets me, I’m not quite sure how this happens. If you meet Azul and you guys develop a relationship, kudos! If not, he might strike a deal. I’m conflicted because I see Azul as someone who cherishes the type of relationship where they get to know each other and see their true selves, but I also see him as the type to be afraid of that. He’s worked tirelessly to build himself up but if he confessed to his S/O and they said no, I don’t think he could ever recover. To avoid being hurt, he’d probably use shady means to get his S/O. This is where he might strike a deal. He’ll catch you in a shady deal, an embarrassing situation, etc. He’ll use it as blackmail, forcing you into a relationship with him. He’s not that clingy though, don’t mistake him. He’ll wave it off as a business deal, it benefits us both so what do you have to lose? It’s confusing really, Azul doesn’t seem to care (if you happen to go down this route only) so why did he propose this deal? If his S/O just can’t stand it and proposes to cancel whatever deal they have that binds them to him, he’ll snap. 

He’ll cry, reverting to his crybaby self. He’s so insecure he can’t stand the idea of your rejection. He’s clinging, begging you to reconsider. He’ll do anything you ask of him just please, please don’t leave him. He’ll rewrite a contract, he’ll show affection, he’ll give you anything you want just don’t say that. Don’t even think of leaving him. It’s quite a sight really, you never thought the same man who once held himself up so high is on his knees begging for forgiveness and to make it right. This is why he’s a bit complicated, I feel like the very manipulative ‘read the fine print’ man suits Azul, but at the same time, he’s a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Granted you’d have to push his buttons a lot for that to happen, but it’s a possibility. 

In terms of scale, I want to say it’s a 6/10. His contracts are where he gets you hence why it’s a bit high. The contact that he can use to steal any ability you have is quite a tricky one. He’s powerful, and he knows how to use it but it doesn’t help much when he’s not so great himself. 

Floyd Leech

Run. No kidding, as a yandere the Leech brothers are fucking scary as all hell. I want to start and say this, in normal general relationship headcanons do I see the Leech brothers as genuinely loving their S/O? Yes of course, but these are yandere headcanons and while it’s not impossible don’t hold your breath. As yanderes, these brothers are out for blood. They’ll share similar traits with a few exceptions, I see Floyd as being clingy, possessive, and sadistic. 

The leech brothers don’t see their S/O as a partner for now, they’re only a pet for now. Floyd would be clingy in the sense that he sticks to you like glue. He’s always there, whenever you think you have privacy, you don’t. While they both act like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe, Floyd is that gum that’s visible but won’t come off. Meaning, you see him and know he’s coming, just that you can’t stop him. He’s always there, meaning the torment never ends. He drives people away, nobody comes to your rescue because nobody wants to mess with him. 

He sees his S/O as a toy. While both want to see your reactions, what makes you tick and you’re there for their amusement, Floyd is restless. As long as this doesn’t interrupt Azul’s work, don’t count on him for saving. He’s sadistic, he wants to hurt his S/O. At first, we’re under the impression that he doesn’t know what's wrong and that he just needs to be talked to. It spirals when you notice that he does know what he does and fully intends to continue. The type to push you to the cafeteria floor and then ask, “Is everything okay? Don’t get my shoes dirty shrimpy. . .” He hides behind that fake concern and laid-back persona. Any ‘accident’, I can assure you is not one. Your report that you worked tirelessly on is suddenly missing? Your project is in ruins? You didn’t finish your presentation? All of Floyds doing, he simply enjoys seeing you in uncomfortable situations. He smiles when you make eye contact with him mid-scolding from Trein. He offers false condolences when your project is broken, earning praise for being so concerned for you. What a nice friend isn’t he? 

Despite all his flaws, he doesn’t let anyone mess with you. He rather be the cause of your suffering. Possessive in the sense that you belong to him. You don’t belong to anyone else, your face of sadness? He’s the only one meant to see them. Your faces of anguish and frustration, he’s the cause of it and he lives for it. You can go ahead and tell someone and they’d respond the same, “Sure Floyd is eccentric but he’s not evil, you sure you’re not just making it up?” Anyone who does believe you aren’t strong enough to go against him. On the yandere scale, he’s a 10/10. He’s dangerous, if you haven’t caught his attention, run. I also want to add, that their S/O is mostly going to become stress relief. They’ll be on edge with any sudden mood shifts because they already know that they’re their go to stress ball. The Leech brothers are not the best, they’re VERY dangerous. 

Jade Leech 

Don’t bother running, you won’t get far. His are manipulative, obsessive, possessive, and sadistic. The issue with Floyd is that he makes his nature apparent, Jade conceals it. Quite frankly, Jade is scarier because he’s unpredictable. He’s seen as a super reliable and respectable person, very professional. The type to take on extra workload if needed but professional enough to stand up and know when to say no. He’s the manipulator of the two, he has a way with words that makes you genuinely think he has your best interests in mind. Masquerading his true intentions behind his smile. 

If you’ve ever seen Drrr!!, he reminds me a lot of Izaya. The type to observe you in difficult situations to see what kind of person you are. How do creatures like you work? What is your design? You’re quite a fascinating subject. He loves to see how you react to any situation. He’s quite obsessive, he wants to know anything and all there has to do regarding you. Often stalking you or inviting you out to the monstro lounge to observe you. Down to how you hold your glass he’s invested. He knows your likes and dislikes, your phobias, your friends,  your social life, and what goes down at your dorm. He needs to know after all to create your life trials. 

He’s possessive. Unlike Floyd, he lets others do the tormenting for him. Though he still believes your expressions are his alone, he would rather stay in the shadows to keep up his reliable facade a bit more. You’re his, he doesn’t like sharing and Jade makes that quite clear. The moment anybody wishes to get close to you he’d get rid of them. Either feeding them lies about you or simply scaring them away. He’s sadistic, he wants to hit you where it hurts. While Floyd prefers physical pain, Jade prefers mental pain. He enjoys the little things that bring you anguish. The betrayal of a friend, watching everyone turns against you, rumors destroying what little reputation you have left leaving Jade as your only companion. 

To add more to both, they see their S/O as a form of entertainment. They have no means of leaving you or letting you leave. The only way I can see their S/O leaving is if they got too boring. They stopped fighting. They no longer had any fight left in their eyes but while Floyd would be the first one to suggest leaving you, I think Jade would still find use. They want to light the spark. The torment stops, even for a while and you suddenly think all your efforts have paid off. Finally, they lost interest but what a scary sight it is to see them waiting for you ready to continue their torment. As far as the yandere scaling, I say Jade is an 11/10. Floyd is a danger, yes, but you already know he is. Jade hides that part of himself until he’s ready. You won’t know when he’ll strike. Both are true to their nature, suffocating. Their presence alone makes you stop breathing, they’re just too much and at some point, you start to think that maybe it was better if you met the eyes of somebody else. 

[wickjump]

Tbh I thought it was kinda weird how Cross used to act (like all mean for no reason). I'm so glad he had his personality changed bc if I had his childhood I would not be acting like that, i didn't even have half the trauma he does and i am a huuuuge people pleaser😭like wouldn't he be afraid people are gonna hurt him for being disrespectful? Like especially since he didn't have the resources to heal and deal with that stuff and deconstruct allbthat

Anyways pathetic cross my beloved..... <3

no it makes PERFECT sense. i was a mean as SHIT kid for years, although as i grew up i went more people pleasy. anyway warning for wickrambling (sigh)

cross only acts like a dick to people who don’t hold power over him, or when he believes himself to be under the control of someone else.

he was never rude to xgaster, especially growing up, he’s respectful to his toriel and asgore, implied to be respectful to his superiors (though not his coworkers, whom he feels comfortable enough to banter with as he grew up with most of them). and while he’s mildly rude to nightmare, it’s because he was still following chara, not nightmare. he viewed nightmare as an ally, not a new ‘owner’. chara was in charge, in his mind, not nightmare.

chara is somewhat of an outlier to the ‘never rude’ rule, because he blames chara for a lot. yet he still follows orders, most of the time blindly. he disagrees, he says he disagrees, but he follows along. he banters with chara but ultimately submits to his whim until they’re separated.

it’s a defense mechanism. if they want nothing to do with him, or they think he’s confident enough to act rudely, then he’s not someone they can influence or harm. and given the amount of internalized anger he has, he also needs to burn it off somehow. in a place where nobody has the power over him to ‘punish’, he’s not in nearly as much fear. if someone else is ‘in control’ of him or ‘owns’ him, they’re not there to witness and then punish him for his behavior. or hell, maybe it’s an attempt at pushing the boundaries, seeing the limits to what he can and can’t do when he’s not explicitly told the rules.

the switch in his behavior as of late is nice i think, definitely showcases other sides of his character that was painfully ignored at first, but the anger issues fits him. i personally view the change in his behavior as cross slowly burning out that anger, like i did as a kid when i finally escaped my abuser. it took a few years, but im not nearly as angry as i was. i don’t pick fights like i used to, and now I’m conflict avoidant. i like to think that’s how cross operated, too.

he gets angry and then he gets burnt out. my mom always told me ‘anger is a secondary emotion’, either for sadness or fear or self-hate or something. i dont fullllly believe that, but it applies to cross. he’s angry because he’s not emotionally intelligent enough to figure out why he’s feeling the way he does after being compliant to others his entire life. it bubbles to the surface and he doesn’t know what to do.

and now that he’s with xgaster, i feel he’ll be angry then, too. but i also feel he’ll eventually submit, even if his goal is to. not ruin the multiverse like xgaster wants to. but only time will tell and honestly whatever route jakei goes for i feel will be a good one. if cross is angry, it would be accurate. if he submits, it would be accurate. if he’s fearful, it would be accurate. trauma is complicated and different for everyone.

anwyay i also like cross a lot maybe too much actually,, yayaya. he deserves to be pathetic but that’s not all to him i feel. he’s got a wide array of trauma and thus a wide array of ways to act about it!!! :3

[sstardustt3]

can you please do dating johnny cade hc?

Dating Johnny Cade hcs- the outsiders

tags/warnings- brief mention of smoking, when I catch you Mr and Mrs cade when I catch those bitches, implied codependency???? (if you squint), mostly fluff, a little angst, a mean girls reference if you squint, not double-checked for grammatical errors or misspelling

authors note- masterlist and request rules coming soon??? Perhaps??? Also I’m gonna make something abt dally next I have like a whole list of characters I’m gonna write for soon

-requests and reposts are always open and welcome-

-I think Johnny probably noticed you first because I think of him as a very observant and hyper aware of like everything (which I think is cannon if I’m not mistaken which I could be)

-I don’t think he really pays attention all that much in school so he just sits and looks at people so that’s probably how he noticed you

-he didn’t make a move of a longgg time because he was under the that you were way out of his league and you just wouldn’t like him

“Just go fucking talk to them Jesus Christ”

“It’s not that easy dal, they don’t like me I told you that already.”

“Listen if you don’t go talk to them, I will.”

“No,no,no!”

-and just like that, he decided forced to go talk to you

-he was stumbling like an idiot for the first half of the conversation but he eventually got it together and you two got along fine and he even managed to get your number!

-he would probably keep you at arms length for a while, he's not the most trusting person and ontop of that he doesn't really know how to love someone properly and he really did not want to hurt you

-his only good example was the curtis parents, and soda and sandy but I don't think he hung around either of them that much. He doesn't hang out with soda much anyways so being around him and his girlfriend just felt odd and the curtis' acted more like parents when he was around. and god forbid he asks dally.

-so it definitely takes him a while to get comfortable but when he does he's a good boyfriend

-i think he definitely looked at like a lifestyle magazine and read a section on what girls like repeatedly to make sure he was doing shit right

-he loves silence sometimes, like adores it. you two have sat for hours just looking at nothing together

-no doubt in my mind there has been times the gang has walked in on yall just staring at a blank wall

"..."

"..."

"are they okay-"

"they're future psych ward patients for sure."

-on the contrary though if you yap a lot, he's also perfectly okay with that and sometimes he'll join in (especially if it's gossip)

-that being said you are in fact invited to his and ponyboys gossip sessions and you were thoroughly surprised about how much he knows (that's why his hair's so long, it's full of secrets.)

-since it's my favorite headcannon of mine that he is really good at making stuff when valentines day comes around he'll give you roses or whatever your favorite flower is made out of either legos or colored paper

-he spends a lot of time at your house and also your parents probably love him

-oh my god you two on a roof together?? smoking in the winter??? maybe a cigarette kiss???

-sorry for getting sidetracked but speaking of kisses and just general pda, I think he's not all that big on pda and I don't think he likes to get touched in general but if you do, hold him gently and I guarantee he would be as red as a tomato with the most calm face ever

-I don't think he would really know what to think about that tbh

-like he's not clueless when it comes to romance (he has dallas as a friend bffr) and he's heard all about kissing and hand holding but no one told him how good it feels to be held like something small and delicate (he'll never tell you that though)

-now, on the other hand, he's not really as nervous or shocked by kissing and as much as he's inexperienced he has the enthusiasm to make up for it, he'll catch on pretty quickly

-that being said every time he's just like standing somewhere with you or like waiting in line for something he'll like give you a peck on the cheek, hold your hand , something like that

-rounding back to him not telling you about how he feels (I know I barely mentioned it but shhhhh) I think he's not good at communication

-again he's not the most trusting person in the world and also it says in the book or at least implied(again, I could be wrong and this is not verbatim) that he is passive and quiet so he can avoid being picked out from the crowd and to just overall avoid trouble and unwanted attention

-so I think that would carry over into his relationships to avoid an argument and you being disappointed in him

-so when he's like jealous or upset about something you did he keeps it inside and when it comes out it's just a lot

-i don't think he would full on yell but he would definitely get emotional kinda like he did in the church with ponyboy in that one scene with ponyboy (Istg i can not figure out what that scene is called someone please for the love of god tell me)

-he would almost immediately apologize because as I said before he can't stand you being mad at him

i'm going to stop here i do have more thoughts in what he would be like as a boyfriend so if this gets enough attention I would be delighted to do a part 2

overall score? -8.5/10

can be a little bit of an ass, a little insecure but loves you <3

-requests and reposts are always open and welcome!-

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders Viewers' Choice: Don Quixote

today on Grailfinders we’re making Charle- wait, no, not him yet. today we’re making Don Quixote, the man de la mancha! he’s a Swords Bard to get a little too into tales of chivalry and make fantasies into reality, as well as a Watchers Paladin to bring reality crashing back down, but not before proving himself as a hero. maybe.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Ancestry & Background

we’ll get to Dulcinea/sancho panza/Rocinante later, but don quixote is definitely a Human. that gives him +1 Strength and Charisma, as well as proficiency in Acrobatics because you definitely fall off your horse plenty and don’t die, as well as the Charger feat. now when you dash, you can use your bonus action to attack or shove a creature, and as a bonus, if you move more than 10’ in a straight line beforehand, you either deal extra damage, or push them even further. it’s not a “good” feat, but it fits with the don’s battle style of charging in without much of a plan.

of course, quixote’s a noble so he gets proficiency in History and Persuasion as well. he’s a little too proficient in history for his own good, and people usually at least play along with whatever nonsense he’s gotten himself into.

Ability Scores

number one is Charisma. it’s how he casts spells, and presumably how his love for stories about knights is warping reality. second is Constitution, because it doesn’t measure how much health you have, but how many hits you can take and keep going. and god knows Quixote doesn’t know when to give up. third is Strength, while that probably should be lower, we need it for multiclassing and I’m not enough of a sadist to do that to you. your Dexterity is just okay. he’s a bit clumsy but its usually played for slapstick comedy. that means your Intelligence is middling- he’s well read, but only in fiction books- and we’re dumping Wisdom. if that’s a surprise to you I really don’t know what to say.

Class Levels

1. Bard 1: since quixote was a nerd and then he tried to be a night, we’ll be getting all his bard levels first, then go to paladin afterwards. that’s probably not the best way to do it in-game, but I’m a sucker for symbolism.

still, as a bard you start off with proficiency in Dexterity and Charisma saves, as well as three skills of your choice- Athletics to charge without getting wind(mill)ed, Animal Handling to ride a horse moderately well, and Deception to fool a country into thinking you’re a king. good luck with that btw, I haven’t gotten that far in traum yet.

you also gain Bardic Inspiration- as a bonus action you can give an ally an extra d6 to add to an attack, check, or save they make in the next minute.

also, you can cast Spells using your Charisma! cantrips like Blade Ward to not die til you have armor on, or Mage Hand for a lightweight Dulcinea; or even spells like Command to be a little kingly on occasion, Feather Fall for your flying girlfriend/horse to break your fall, Unseen Servant for a heavy duty Dulcinea, or Heroism to inspire yourself and others into a battle they probably shouldn’t be fighting.

it’s worth pointing out that bards don’t get proficiency with lances, but you can either call his weapon a spear or let him be not proficient with it. it’s pretty in-character tbh.

2. Bard 2: at level two you become a Jack of All Trades, giving you half proficiency in every ability you’re not explicitly proficient in. I think this is the first time I’d call this feature out of character, but we need it to get anything else out of the class. you can also perform a Song of Rest during short rests for an extra d6 of healing but that’s so negligible it’s barely worth mentioning.

the big bonus this level is your Magical Inspiration- now your inspiration dice can be added to healing or damaging spells to help them fantasy up the place. you can also cast Longstrider this level, quickening your step so you can move ten feet faster for an hour. it’s not huge, but it’s concentration-free!

3. Bard 3: at level three you graduate from the College of Swords, giving you proficiency with medium armor so you can finally get that breastplate out of your closet and go adventuring! you also get the Dueling fighting style, adding 2 points of damage to every attack you make with only one weapon in hand.

you also learn how to make Blade Flourishes by spending your inspiration dice. now your attack actions always increase your walking speed by 10 feet, and upon hitting something you can add an inspiration die to the damage and get one of three benefits. a Defensive Flourish adds the same roll to your AC for a round, a Slashing Flourish deals that damage to every creature you choose next to you, and a Mobile Flourish pushes the target, and then you can react to have Dulcinea drag you back into melee range.

you can also cast second level spells this level, like Enhance Ability, which gives you advantage on one kind of ability check. you can literally gaslight yourself into being stronger now! speaking of checks, your Expertise doubles your proficiency bonus in Persuasion and History checks.

4. Bard 4: at fourth level you can use your first Ability Score Improvement on something useful… or dump it into Charisma for stronger spells. spells like Minor Illusion to make little fantasies for free, or Kinetic Jaunt to ricochet around the battlefield even more! for up to a minute afterwards, your speed is increased by 10’, you don’t have to worry about attacks of opportunity, and you can move through creatures without slowing down! a knight always has to be on the front lines, after all. probably.

5. Bard 5: fifth level bards get some big ol’ boons, like a bigger Bardic Inspiration die, as well as becoming a Font of Inspiration, so you can recharge them on short rests instead of long ones. also you can start learning third level spells like Dispel Magic! it feels rough to end the fantasy before it begins, but it’s hard to get this spell later. it will instantly break any magic of third level or lower, and there’s a charisma check to break higher level spells. given how busted your ability checks can be, I doubt you’ll have a problem dealing with that.

6. Bard 6: at sixth level, bards can use a Countercharm to prevent their allies from being charmed or frightened for a round. it’s not great, you use your action on it, it doesn’t last long, and it only gives advantage on saves. still in-character though. even better, you get an Extra Attack each action, so now you can attack twice instead of once.

also you can cast Motivational Speech this level! it’s a more offensively-focused Heroism, which fits your skillset better.

7. Bard 7: seventh level bards get fourth level spells, like Confusion. let’s be honest, you were confusing people way before this, now it’s just official.

8. Bard 8: at eighth level you can max out your Charisma using your next ASI, and Dulcinea can also help free you from any predicaments you get caught in by giving you Freedom of Movement. while moving freely, difficult terrain and magic cannot slow you down or make you paralyzed or restrained, and nonmagical restraints can be escaped from with just five feet of movement. you even get to move at full speed underwater! I think the only water don quixote falls in in the books is a well, so this is probably canon.

9. Bard 9: ninth level bards get fifth level spells, and we can finally make your ascension-hopping make more sense thanks to the Seeming spell. for eight hours, you and anyone within 30’ of you will look different (if they don’t want to they can try a charisma save but good luck), allowing you to change their physical appearance as well as any clothes or equipment they’ve got. now you can turn beat up old relics into proper knighting around armor!

10. Bard 10: at tenth level, you get another round of Expertise to double down on your Deception game and your Acrobatics. you also learn a new cantrip, True Strike! it’s bad, but your strength score is still a 14 at level ten, so you’ll need all the help to hit you can get. also you can cast Legend Lore too, to learn (or make up) fantastical stories about whatever piece of garbage you find on your adventures.

the fun doesn’t stop there though! your Bardic Inspiration die grows to a d10, and you learn Magical Secrets, letting you pick up spells from other classes! now you can finally Summon Celestial to bring Dulcinea to life, or use Nystul’s Magic Aura to make your armor seem even more special than it already is. the latter spell lets you make nonmagical items magical or vice-versa, at least as far as magical detection is concerned. you can even make living things show up as other kinds of creatures, but that’s outside quixote’s scope.

11. Paladin 1: you’ve got all your delusions of grandeur, so now let’s get questing! at level one, you get proficiency with all martial weapons, so that means you can finally use a lance all proper-like. also you think you have a Divine Sense to root out otherworldly foes as an action 6 times a day. you’ll figure out what kind of enemy you’re facing, but not their exact identity. unless you make one up for them, of course.

also you can Lay on Hands, drawing from a pool of HP to give to yourself or your lady Dulcinea as an action. you can spend five points to curse diseases or poisonings, and they recharge on long rests.

12. Paladin 2: second level paladins get their own kind of Spellcasting, which also uses your charisma. unlike bards, paladins can swap their spells each day, so you can get a bit more loosey goosey here. that being said, I suggest checking out the Compelled Duel spell to force your dreaded nemeses to draw steel, Ceremony to give them a chance to repent like the noble knight you are, and Shield of Faith to actually make your shield a bit better for short periods of time.

you could also use those spell slots to make some Divine Smites, spending magic to deal extra damage with your lance. you’ve even got fifth level spell slots already, so you’re actually ahead of the curve compared to pure paladins. (right, almost forgot to mention, check your PHB to see what spell slots you have at any given point from here on out, multiclassing makes it weird.)

moving away from spells for a second, you get another Fighting Style, and the Protection style is perfect for a gallant knight protecting his lady love. when a creature next to you is being attacked, you can react to put your shield between them and their attacker, forcing disadvantage on the roll.

13. Paladin 3: at third level, you join the Watchers, and elite group of paladins dedicated to defeating evil from other worlds… which, if you’re being very generous, is what don quixote’s already been doing! (hey, his imagination isn’t the material plane.) when you join up, you can Channel Divinity once per short rest, letting you invoke the Watcher’s Will to give five creatures advantage on intelligence, wisdom, and charisma saves for a minute, or you can Abjure the Extraplanar to send aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, and fiends packing if they fail their wisdom save. alternatively, you can Harness Divine Power, spending your CD usage to regain a spell slot.

you also get free spells that are always prepared for you, Alarm and Detect Magic. quixote seems naturally jumpy, and you can’t end fantasy if you don’t know it’s there, probably.

you’re also in Divine Health, letting you ignore any diseases you get. sunstroke isn’t a disease though, you might want to get that checked out.

14. Paladin 4: at fourth level you get another ASI, and we could improve your strength so you can hit things better… orrr we can get Mage Slayer! now casting spells next to you provokes an attack of opportunity, and you get better at ending fantasy without even using a spell slot because everyone you hit has disadvantage on their concentration saves! you also get advantage on your saves against melee range spells.

15. Paladin 5: fifth level paladins get second level spells, a nice consolation prize since their extra attack doesn’t work with your bardic one. your freebies include Moonbeam, which will destroy any shapeshifters it hits, and See Invisibility. neither wolfman nor the invisible man could exist in 15th century Spain, I’m sad to say.

you can also Find Steed if you need Roccinante without all the others attached, or turn your lance into a Magic Weapon so you can actually hit people with it.

16. Paladin 6: at sixth level you get an Aura of Protection, giving everyone within 10’ of you a whopping +5 bonus to every save they make. some people thing spellcasting is a good choice of profession, so I guess it’s time you destroy their fantasy.

17. Paladin 7: seventh level watchers have an Aura of the Sentinel, giving you and everyone within ten feet of you a +6 to their initiative rolls. when you’re literally tilting at windmills, you’re always ready for a fight.

18. Paladin 8: okay fiiiine, I guess you can improve your Strength to something “not bad”, if you really want. now you might be able to actually hit the windmills when you fight them.

19. Paladin 9: ninth level paladins get third level spells, finally giving you Counterspell to stop fantasies in progress, and Nondetection to turn into a regular old man, no matter how many magical items you’ve picked up over this adventure.

we’ll also grab one last anti-fantasy spell with Remove Curse so now there’s practically no magic you can’t suppress, as well as Blinding Smite and Spirit Shroud for a more powerful girlfriend/squire/horse.

20. Paladin 10: with our final level, you exude an Aura of Courage, making you and friendly creatures nearby immune to being frightened. some say it’s because the image of a gallant knight riding to battle can stir the heart of the most craven of men, others say it’s because you suck all the gravitas out of a situation, but either way you won’t be fleeing any time soon.

Pros & Cons:

Pros:

bards are especially good at destroying magic, meaning this build can give even Medea and Sima Yi a run for their money in the anti-magic field. with maxed out charisma, an additional half-proficiency, and advantage from enhance ability, you have an effective +13 on your spellbreaking checks! that’s a 75% chance of breaking through ninth level magic, no matter what spell slots you use.

you’re also great at getting around. no, not like that, I mean you’re a speedy little bugger and you’re hard to pin down, letting you make sure you’re always in the least convenient spot for your enemies.

also you’ve got maxed out charisma and expertise in two different charisma skills, so you can dominate any conversation. whether that’s actually a good thing for your party or not is up to you.       

Cons:

I know I said charger is a bad feat, but it is impressive how poorly it slots into this build. you’ve already got spells that can improve your mobility, so it probably doesn’t help too much there, and not only does it stop you from using your inspiration or divine smites by eating your bonus action, but it prevents you from using your flourishes by keeping you away from the attack action to boot! in a similar vein, mage killer is nice, but if you’re using a lance you’d want to keep people at a ten foot range, not a five foot one, which negates most of the feat.

don’t spend ten levels straight in bard. just don’t. having divine smites or an aura of protection would have been super helpful earlier than we got them, and also we can’t actually use a lance as a spellcasting focus until we’re proficient with them- which currently doesn’t happen until level 11. that’s a long time to wait for a basic part of your build to work right.

the don doesn’t really have any clear direction about what they’re supposed to be doing at any point in time. you could go on defense with powerful anti-magic, or offense with divine smites, but both eat into the same resource and require your full attention to work well. and you might have high charisma, but you have terrible insight, so you’re likely to fall for the first liar you come across- making you the party’s face would be a recipe for disaster. thankfully your deception’s high enough that you can pretend those flaws don’t exist, and everyone will believe you.

[ultfreakme]

I’ve honestly just learned to ignore and block all of Jay’s haters atp because all they’re doing is just trying to get a reaction out of people, mostly DC editorial. They literally message, tag, make essays and do all kinds of shit nonstop just so they can “persuade” the writers at DC to give them what they want, it’s like watching toddlers pulling a tantrum tbh.

If DC editorial cared even a little bit about what these people want or think they would’ve done something about it by now imho. But they probably see how disgusting, evil, and malicious the hate is that they refuse to give them what they want especially for a character who isn’t even a bad person. No one’s hurting them or stopping them from liking the things they like either so their hate really is unfounded.

It’s pretty sad especially for LGBT+ Asians to see so many people have such a vicious and scathing reaction to him simply existing but when people are that mindlessly hateful there’s really not much else you can do but ignore them, and I firmly believe is what DC editorial has chosen to do. I’m just glad Jay is still even present and being mentioned by name in the stories and I really hope they keep him.

Also people don’t realize Jon’s content is very scarce since he’s usually overshadowed by Clark just like how Bruce’s content overshadows his kids, so I hope DC will try to pump out a little more content for him.

I;m usually pretty good about blocking people, like my block list is super duper long and like in my head, I know half of this is just to get a rise out of Jay fans, but sometimes monkey-brain react. But yeah I totally get you.

DC is terrible at handling POC characters and if they didn't want Jay around, he'd be gone. But he's only becoming more prominent as the years pass and he's even part of an event now (a thing I thought won't happen for another 10 years). Like you have no idea, how much I was shaking, when I saw Jon asking for Jay right after coughing up blood and being brainwashed, and also saying "The Truth" is what's important to BQ. It feels especially significant to Jay because we got spoilers from the Nicole & Sina stream that Jay is very present in Absolute Power: Super Son, when Jon was fighting against the mind control. At least with Jon, it's a bit of a reference to Jay too, thematically.

On an objective level, I know Jay is here to stay. A lot of characters who were introduced around the same time as him, or even later than him have just kinda disappeared. But I am glad DC themselves have clearly chosen to ignore the haters regardless of the spam and the hate.

I think these days, there's people turning against the de-age Jon stans(especially on twitter and a lot on tiktok) primarily because they are.......the way they are......General comic fans who aren't particularly into Superfam are recognizing it. I think this is the best the atmosphere has ever been in terms of support and love for Jay and Jon.

And you're so right on Jon's content being scarcer. Other than Batman and Superman, no other character gets consistent books or a guaranteed, continuous run. The others who do have been around for decades, like Poison Ivy, Harley, Nightwing, etc. Even Wonder Woman doesn't have her Sensation Comics. In terms of a bigger picture, for how recent Jon is, he's doing pretty fantastic. He's always in events, he's got two independent runs, he's getting a new solo issue with AP: Super Son. I think we've been getting at least one solo Jon project a year since SOKE.

Relatively speaking, he's fine. And I think people also tend to assume he's being too overshadowed by Clark because the de-agers just dismiss any run where Jon shows up these days, unless it fits their perception of what he is now.

Like I had this argument with someone twitter, where they said you can't count Beast World, Lazarus Planet, Nightwing, Action Comics, and DC Pride appearances as Jon content because they aren't solo books. Which is frankly absurd. This also involves a lot of Jay mentions and appearances.

Jay, Nika and Nia are the only characters who were introduced around that 2021-2022 time that are still relevant, and they continue to grow. I think outside of Tom King, everyone else have also started to realize the Damian-Jon friendship just can't be taken back to the way it was so they're each getting stories very separate from one another. Even Jon's stories and themes are getting more divorced from Clark.

Thanks for the message!! Sorry about vent posting like that. I hope we get to see and enjoy more of Jay in the future! I think we might be getting a new run with Jon, or more of just Jon, Jay and Nia based on Nicole's projects and hwo she talks about their future (she called Jay 'Gossamer' so I'm hoping we get to see him function more a superhero in the future!)

[aibazuos]

My exams are finally over so i have time to post fanart again!

So, below i’m going to talk a little bit about my guapoduo Hannibal au, if you’re interested in reading it, be my guest

Thanks for being interested in my story! Hope you like it

So i was thinking about how to implement the eggs on this story, bc, as goes with the Hannibal series, every single prominent character suffers a lot. And so I was between making the eggs children and don’t make them prominent characters or making them collage age so that they could appear more and I wouldn’t feel that bad about making them suffer.

I ended up deciding to not make the eggs prominent characters, they still appear and suffer a little bit, but that is just as a side effect of being close to main and side characters that appear a lot. Tbh, imagining them as teens or young adults just feels wrong to me and i don’t know why.

The two eggs that I have more details on right now are Richarlyson and Bobby, for obvious reason.

Also, this is something i’ve been have so trouble with. Basically I’m getting to the point where I want to try and bring BadBoyHalo to this story, still don’t know how, but that’s not the problem. The thing is, BHH is obviously going to be human, my first thought was to make him a biracial guy, half black and half white, so he can have some really dark skin but also have grey eyes, you know, to mimic his Minecraft skin.

But content creator BBH is white, and i’ve seen some fanart of him wearing his Minecraft skin clothes. I’m just asking if i should really separate the cc!BBH from the human version q!BBH. I don’t think there’s a problem, i’m just trying to make sure beforehand. For context, I’m a white person from latin america

Either way, if you read all of this tysm! My exams still haven’t been graded so i don’t have the fanart a did behind them, but when i get it i’m going to do a post with all of them

Also, I’m working on a fanfic of this, you won’t need to watch Hannibal to understand it and it’s going to take sometime until i post it, i want to get some chapters in before i post anything

I guess this is it.

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Rating Hazbin + Helluva Boss Characters based on if I could tell what animal/creature they’re supposed to be:

DISCLAIMER: This is not an attack on the creators or artists/designers for either show. I already went over the purpose of this on my first post here—I just like to review stuff.

Part 2!

SIR PENTIOUS—SNAKE—5/5

Yeah that’s a snake, man.

While I find some of Pent’s design elements cluttered, he’s actually one of the stronger designs in my opinion. I think the having his cobra hood act as his hair is fun and cleaver. It’s very easy to tell he’s a snake. Not sure why he has eyes on his tail/body? I think they could have just made them red spots but eh.

QUEEN BEE—FOX (?) WITH HONEY BEE ELEMENTS (?)—3.5/5

Bee’s a weird one for me b/c while her design is super super cluttered I can SEE how it could work, and I really do like fun cute fox and wolf girls. The ONLY reason that docked points is b/c she’s supposed to be a fox/bee hybrid (I believe?) but her “bee” elements are so minute that if I hadn’t seen her in a big beehive, I would have just assumed she was as a fox with fairy/insect elements—I wouldn’t have thought she was connected to a honey bee at all. It’s a weird case where she is VERY obviously a fox but it’s not obvious at all that she’s a bee/honey bee. I did want to give a little extra half-point tho b/c I do like her little antennae ears. They’re pretty much the only thing that screams “insect” to me.

STELLA GOETIA—SWAN (?)—3/5

I think I may be going a little easier on the Helluva cast b/c overall they’re easier to figure out what animals they are. I’ve heard that Stella is supposed to be a Swan but I’m not 100% sure. This one is def more on me, but I initially thought that she was either a secretary bird due to her long lashes and the way her hair is styled, or a peafowl (which would make sense b/c her brother is apparently a peacock?) at least I can tell that she is a bird and her colors are accurate for a swan’s. I think the reason I would never have thought of her as a swan is mostly due to her beak size and color. But yeah b/c I can at least confirm that she is in fact a bird I wanna give her a higher score.

I would rate Pilot Stella too, but I don’t think at that point she was meant to be a swan, just a vague bird demon lady. At least I hope not.

MAMMON—SPIDER (OR CENTIPEDE? MAYBE??) —0.5/5

So. Like Angel Dust. The only reason I know that Mammon is a spider is because he was shown sitting on a giant spider web.

I really didn’t think he was a spider/spider-ish looking at all and I still don’t. Even the extra eyes they add to him sometimes didn’t immediately make me think “Spider!” just that it was a demon thing. He really just looks like a jester with extra arms.

His full demon/mega form also doesn’t look very spider-ish tbh, and was what made me wonder if he was actually supposed to be a centipede? I was really disappointed by his “final form” because it’s pretty much the same as his regular form but with more eyes and what I assume is SUPPOSED to be a spider abdomen ?? But then he does kinda scuttle like a centipede at the end so maybe he is supposed to be???? But then why does he have a big spider web???

Also, and I’ll be honest, this is just me being needlessly nit-picky and it’s a small thing but it just irks me personally b/c I don’t understand the reasoning behind this but like. I HATE that his extra eyes DO NOT stay consistent.

The first time we see his extra eyes it gives him a total of 8 so I was like “oh okay yeah so maybe just his final form will be a spider/spider-like BUT THEN HIS EXTRA EYES KEEP OSCILLATING BETWEEN 3 and 4 EXTRA EYES?

These shots are only a few seconds apart like why did they give him MORE eyes when he got farther away? They’re so small that they barely seem distinct? Like if he IS supposed to be a spider you don’t have to keep giving him eyes!!! Stop, stop, he can already see!!! 😭

Maybe he IS a centipede tho? B/c he DOES seem to have the little centipede butt horns (which apparently are just their very hind legs in real life)

And he def seems to move like one in that form. Man idk. Why even HAVE him in a spider web then???

Being an arthropod lover and not being able to figure out what the fuck kinda guy that’s supposed to be is driving me wild tbh 😅

Honestly if Mammon was just supposed to be a clown/jester I would have given him 5/5 b/c yeah that was immediately obvious. But it’s him being a jester-spider-centipede-thing that muddles things for me.

I would put Loona in here but I ran out of pictures for this post talking about Mammons eyes. She gets 5/5 cause. Yeah that’s a classic wolf girl.

[sugarcryztal]

Match up exchange with @unitheuniverse

info i’m going off of:

From CRK, I match you with. . .

Capsaicin Cookie !

- basically I took this from the fact you like spicy food (half joking)

- you guys are basically goofy guy who pulled a baddie because that’s what i’m taking from you I don’t make the rules !!

⟡ When he was pining for you it was so painfully obvious when he was trying not too.

⟡ Whenever you approached him he would physically jump and start stuttering over his words no matter how hard he tried. Prune Juice would always be near by and quietly giggle at Capsaicin because he was fumbling so bad. ☠️

⟡ The type of person to just cling to his crush without even realizing it.

⟡ When he confessed, he was so nervous. Like he’s usually a very loud and confident person, but he had to try and not mumble during his confession.

⟡ When he confessed he has to do it face to face because all the words he wanted to say just did not fit on paper.

⟡ Thankfully, you didn’t reject him! And he didn’t have to dig a hole to die in out of embarrassment! Hooray!

⟡ Tbh, I feel like as a boyfriend he’s like a big golden retriever

⟡ Doesn’t get what going on in your games, but will support you either way! “Woohoo!!! That’s my boyfriend right there!!”

⟡ Tries not to chew with his mouth open after he figured out you don’t like it, but sometimes it’s a force of habit.

“So I was like-“

“Capsaicin, Honey. Please close your mouth when you chew.”

“Oops! Sorry!”

⟡ It’s kind of funny because opposites attract.

⟡ He tried to listen to rock music once, but he couldn’t take it and started playing pop LMAO

⟡ “It ain’t that deep” IT’S SO DEEP. How dare anyone say that?! Who disrespected you! Tell him now!!

⟡ Nah I’m just joking, but he’s seriously lowkey protective of you..?

⟡ A lot of the time, when he’s trying to get into table top games, he always asks you for help and understanding.

⟡ Yapper x Yapper, Yapper x Listener, he can do it all!

⟡ The extrovert to your introvert. He has a bunch of friends that you will get acquainted with over the course of time because he doesn’t expect you to immediately click with any of them!

⟡ He also understand when you’ll need time for yourself though, but please assure him that you still love him because he will think at least a LITTLE bit otherwise.

⟡ LOVVESSSS to yap to you about different spicy foods! Like LOOVVEEE! It’s one of his favorite pass times!

⟡ His other favorite pastime is hearing you talk about your interests!

⟡ Finds taxidermy the most interesting, I feel like at first his immediate reaction was “Wow so you-!” No that’s not how that works!

⟡ His pet names for you:

- Babe

- Honey

- Love of my life

⟡ Ever since you guys got together he can’t call you by your name anymore, he has to call you by a pet name. It’s a habit now. But he will listen if you’re uncomfortable with it!

⟡ He tries to get into all of your interests, but some things make him really squeamish.

⟡ What I mean by that is when you guys watch horror movies instead of you jumping into your arms he’s jumping into YOURS.

⟡ You also won’t have to worry about minimalism with him! Not at all. Because I feel like deep down he’s a maximalist. I know it in my heart.

⟡ He won’t force you to, but he likes watching romances occasionally. Like the ones where they actually build the characters and give them character development.

⟡ He hates Hallmark shows though. Don’t make him watch those. He calls them an insult to any genre.

⟡ If it’s anything else though he will happily watch it with you though! As long as you’re there he will be there!

⟡ He can only cook spicy food btw so goodluck…

You and your boyfriend, who you lovingly call Caps, were currently sat down in the living room. Getting ready for your guy’s anniversary movie marathon.

Except now he would NOT stop screaming!

As another spooky figure popped up on the screen, he let out a squeal and hugged your side tightly. You rolled your eyes and pat his head, “Caps, it’s just a movie. None of it’s real.”

He blinks at you for a moment before laughing, “Haha! I guess you’re right!” And then everything is chill again and you guys start watching the movie again.

He won’t ever tell you, but he acts like that on purpose. Just to hold onto you for a little more.

08.24.24

[dreamchasernina]

I think you're wrong tbh. The agni kai, for example; I think they capture Zuko's terror well in the live action. In the animation, that's what makes him submit, not just sheer respect. He's on his hands and knees, crying for his father to not make him fight. In the live action, he does the exact same, except he does as his father commands him to and tries to fight. That isn't out of character for Zuko. They don't make it look cool either, they make him dodge all of the incoming attacks at first by backing away in terror. Then, when he has an opportunity to actually hurt Ozai, he hesitates. Out of fear, out of compassion, out of respect. And Ozai punishes him for it. It's REALLY not that big of a divergence from the original story.

Plus this isn't a scene for scene, word for word remake of the animation. It's an adaptation of the same story. We can expect that it will differ and that they will change elements of the show to explore different arcs than the animation did. That doesn't make it BAD, it's just different. You can even say you like it less than the animation. But blanket sweeping that the show is BAD because they changed the way Zuko handled the agni kai is frankly, immature and bad faith.

I never said the show is bad because they changed the way Zuko handled the Agni Kai…where have I said that? I said the show is bad because they they didn’t put thought into their characters and prioritized cool looking action scenes and plot over developing their characters.

And all of that could be fine if they didn’t exposition dump every 5 seconds and instead of showing us how characters feel, have them blatantly explain it to you over and over.

I’m glad you like that Agni Kai change, I know a lot of people like that too, and again, I’m happy for you. I just personally see it as a disservice to Zuko’s character. I feel like the fact that Zuko never stood up for himself showed just how highly he thought of his father. It just feels more impactful, like, your son doesn’t want to fight you and is on his knees begging for forgiveness and you still burn half his face off? And again, the fact that Zuko even had a chance to hurt his father as a 13 year old boy kinda undermines Ozai’s power.

With all of that said, Zuko is probably the most developed character in the adaptation. You can agree with the changes or you can hate them like me, but Zuko is not the main issue with the show, so no, it’s not the reason I don’t like the show. I’ve explained why in many other posts.

[lemmetreatya]

In Memory of Me — Eren x fem!reader

Thank you @flamespond for the idea. A real one tbh. Always know ur gonna match my silliness

word count: 2.7k

content: erens a cocky bastard, f! reader, reader has their ears pierced, alcohol, strong language, anal sex, doggy style, unprotected sex, cumshot, idk eren has an obsession with worm earrings (is it a kink for him? idk)

They were so fucking stupid. Like, stupid, stupid.

So stupid, that Eren finds himself with a soured expression as he looks on at you over the rim of his drink. Because honestly, who even wears something like that to the club? Frickin, worm earrings — those frilly skrunkly looking fellas with the strabismus eyes and wiggly bums.

And he thinks he hates them, which isn’t new because Eren hated a lot of things unprovoked, (Read: paper mache, manholes, Jimmy John’s, character shaped plastic weed grinders and more) but either way, he can’t get himself to hate you — which sucks — because you thought wearing worm earrings to the club was cool.

The skittish laugh you made in the bartender’s direction was no help either. He hates to admit it but you were so good looking, and Eren wishes that you weren’t.

He thinks maybe that way it’d be easier to ignore you with your funky jewellery and move on with his night, but no. No, Eren always had to find a pulling towards the weird ones.

“It’s definitely a creative choice.”

That’s what Eren starts with when he decides to indulge you.

You pause mid-conversation and turn in his direction. The music was cheap and the booze was even cheaper, but giving just about anybody your time of day was expensive.

“Sorry, you talking to me?”

An easy shrug graces Eren’s shoulders as he hops them up and down. You had a daring spunk and he likes that more about you than he hates the worm earrings.

With a coupled bite of his bottom lip and a simmering eye hold, the brunette moves closer within your proxemics.

“Well, I mean unless there’s anyone else wearing obnoxious worm earrings then…”

“Obnoxious?” You repeat.

Eren was fast to agree with your reiterated sentence but it was too late when he realises, along with your irked expression, that maybe using his internal opinions about your consciously chosen earrings for a conversation starter, was warped.

Instantly changing his countenance, Eren reels his expression into a fake pout of remorse. This one usually sealed the deal because Eren seemed to have a very ‘I want to forgive you’ face, or so he’s been told .

“I-I’m sorry. I acknowledge that was real rude of me. Forgive me, I don’t do this often.” He says with a hand over the right side of his chest.

That’s a lie; Eren does this often enough to know that a sleazy apology usually does the trick, but apparently it didn’t land too well tonight.

Your eyes analyse him top to bottom. He’s cute, hot even. That, you won’t deny, but before else you had your integrity to hold. With a curled lipped expression, you slowly turn your head away from the brunette.

“Well, when you do this often enough and figure out how to approach me properly, come again.”

Ohh, shivers.

Eren weirdly liked that. From that alone he knows he wants more and that’s not just because his dick jumped at the assertiveness.

At this point, Eren would decide that his pride and ego were too important to be bruised by a mere Club Pickup and so he’d usually throw a very unfeminist, degrading comment and go along his way. But fuck, it’s you with the stupid worm earrings and heck load of self worth — there’s something about you that makes Eren voluntarily deny himself.

“Don’t think I’m willing to wait that long.”

At his words, you direct back in Eren’s direction with a slow turn. Half of you was surprised that he was still within your vicinity but the other part was intrigued to know what was really making him stay.

“For what?” You slowly enunciate.

Eren gives you a look as if what he was saying was simple. Which it was, but there was just something about the man that made everything he said come out sounding imbecilic.

“To figure out how to approach you of course. I can’t do it with calculations or a trial and error. Look at your earrings for shit's sake, you’re unpredictable.”

The brunette wildly gestures in your vague direction. You also notice a tattoo that curiously peaks out from his neck.

Hm. Hot.

Turning towards him more, you wear an amused expression as you ask:

“And so the approach you’ve gone for now — you think that’s working for you?”

It shuts him down for a bit.

You can see the clogs working slowly behind his wide beryl eyes. Even within the darkened club scene, that feature of his was wildly prominent.

But he’s quick though. He rolled said eyes, as if to feign that the answer was obvious, but you couldn’t help but notice the elysian grin that started to sport his lips.

“Right now, we’re taking ten.” He shrugs. “I’m not tryna pick you up at the moment. Well, I am, but not in the forward, proactive way. I just… they’re so fascinating.”

“Me or the earrings?”

Eren smirks.

“The earrings.”

He knows that’s not the answer you were expecting. It was the answer you knew he was leading to but you hoped that by some warped pick up line, he’d divert his answer to you at the last second. But he didn’t.

You let out a delayed huffed at his honest answer and he knows, then, that he’s got you.

This guy was absolutely tactless. You recall that he said he was thinking of a unique way to approach you, per your unconventionality, but you didn’t think he’d be this push and pull.

Still yet, in a very weird, sadly obnoxious way, it was working. So much so that you’re not sure whether to credit him for his stupidity or ingenuity.

Lightly pressing forwards, Eren made a bold move and decided to poke your arm with his index finger.

“C’mon, I’m not being that unreasonable. They’re unusual for a club setting and you know it. I’ve only ever seen someone wear these once in my life and that was on my boy’s kid cousin’s ears because she gave into peer pressure.”

With a humorous air, you raise your eyebrow at the brunette.

“You think I gave into peer pressure to wear these?”

“Nah, I doubt it.”

Eren seemed to really be thinking hard about this. He searched his eyes over your face, irreligious as his watch lingered over your lips.

“I’d say the next best thing is a dare. Most probably a stupid harmless one between friends, but now that I’m thinking about it, you wear them with too much dignity for it to simply be bad luck.”

Cocking your head to the side, you shuffle closer towards the brunette. You offered him a mulling smile.

“Is it really too hard to believe that I wore them of my own volition?”

Eren reels his head back but he doesn’t stay further away for long. He easily nods before edging closer in your direction. He has an unsure look on his face but he decides to be honest.

“Kinda, yes.” He says with a lower voice.

You weren’t offended. No, you were beyond feeling shameful affinity for worm earrings, but you guess in order to entertain this intrigued individual, you’d pertain to his supposed interest.

“So what, you want my earrings? Tryna fuck them or use them to get off?” You quip. “You can have ‘em if you wannem so bad.”

Eren makes a weirded out expression but he doesn’t move away. Something about him made you keen in his direction. Maybe it was how comfortable he seemed.

“What? Noooo, I don’t wanna fuck your earrings, I’m tryna fuck you! Only reason I stepped up to you in the first place.” He pouts.

You raised your eyebrows at him once again but this time it was accompanied with a smirk. Once he noticed your reception, he quickly returned your expression before continuing, his fingers tinkling at your own.

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re hot as fuck and I’m honestly reeling just thinking about having you underneath me. Only thing is that you just happen to be wearing the most…”

Eren quickly lets his words die at the back of his throat. If it’s one thing he’s learnt tonight, it was to not finish that sentence.

“Yeah.” He finishes.

Your turn your head so that you can side eye him. Jutting out your bottom lip, you thought for a moment.

“So you’re tryna sleep with me?” You said more to yourself than to him but the sentient was as easily reciprocated by him.

Eren flings his head back in a childish manner. Amusing, as he seems more offended at that question than he did when you offered him worm earrings coitus.

“God—I—" He clasps his hands in a fist in front of his face. "What else do you think I’m talking to you for? I’m literally just tryna give you that fuck-you-to-sleep, forget your name type dick, is that really too much to ask for?

You momentarily pause as you look upwards in faux ponder.

“Is that it?" You ask.

Eren nods.

With a neutral expression, your shoulders perk upwards.

"Oh. Then you should have just said.”

“Waaait a minute.”

The way Eren slowly squints his eyes at you makes you snort and then burst into a fit of public appropriate giggles.

He was genuinely such an interesting individual. You did wonder if he was actually this amusing or if he was simply curating his personality so that he could talk to you better. Either way you weren't too concerned; more than him, you too were just seeing this as an opportunity to get fucked silly.

Eren's eyes joyfully follow you as you continue to bend over in laughter, his own lips quirking upwards at the sides.

“It was that easy, huh?” He jokes in disbelief.

“It was that easy. Didn’t have to mention my earrings or nothing.” You quip back, the glowing embers of joy and alcohol evident in the beam on your face.

Eren cocks his head in your direction, his smile also wide. Although you never remember him being this close. He was practically a hand span away from you.

“Well, whaddya know? Looks like I’ve still got it.”

Playfully scoffing, you lightly push his stomach with the palm of your hand. You noted that it was a lot more taut with muscle than you thought it'd be.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” You chide as you finally allow your eyes to wonder to the plumpness of his lips.

This was so fucking stupid. Like, stupid, stupid.

Because never in your life did you think a self conceited bastard like Eren would ever fuck this good.

You hated that he knew what he was doing; that he didn't need twenty-one plus questions to figure out your reactive spots, guilty pleasures and favourite positions. He was an expert, a god, at how well he knew how to put his dick into play.

"Gonna...gonna, shit, gonna fuck those silly worm earrings right off you. Gonna really...rock your shit up."

You were way too gone to reply.

Ass up, face down and cock continuously hollowing deep into the canals of your ass, yet Eren still found a way to make this about the worm earrings. You even contemplated taking them off considering how viciously they were whacking your face but you didn't care. Who the fuck was caring about worm earrings when you were getting fucked this good?

Clearly, Eren couldn't relate.

"S-stupid worms...stupid fucking silly worms — God, you're so tight — they're so weird!"

Your orgasm still had space to build up but you wanted to reach it quickly. Lolling your hand down between your thighs, you used two fingers to rub at your clit; to give your tea a little bit of honey, just to speed up the process.

"E-Eren..." You moaned out.

Hearing his name be chanted into his duvet, Eren felt his cock twitch.

"Yeah, that's it. Say my name. Say my name with those...with those worms in your ears. Go on, say it."

"Eren! Eren! E’en."

Your chants caused the male to throw his head bag in agonic pleasure. His grip on your hips got tighter as he used the leverage to continuously pull you back onto his slick cock.

"Just like that. Oh yeah, just like that. You feel so good. So so good, worms 'n' all."

Okay, quite frankly, this was getting ridiculous. Surely he couldn't be for real. Like, you've gathered; he likes to be the centre of attention and has difficulty doing that without a joke, laugh or gag, but surely yet, he'd understand that somethings you just kept separate from each other. Like wriggly worm earrings and getting doggied.

Surging backwards to try and meet Eren's thrust made the brunette let out a groan of pure wanton expression. He took one hand to slap the apple of your ass cheek a few times before hunching over you, his chest flush with your back.

“Want me to come inside you?” He salaciously grunts into your ear.

With an indecent moan, you agree.

“Uh huh. Yeah, wan’ you to…to cum inside me, Ren.”

The brunette placed a kiss to your back and then your shoulder as his cock continuously expanded your puckered hole. He then gingerly changed position from kneeling to having one foot sturdy on the bed before bringing a hand up to caress at one of your earrings.

“Since you asked so nicely.”

Eren’s pace began to quicken but his thrust became sloppier.

You were seriously contemplating whether it was okay to finish this orgasm with worms on your mind or pause and ask Eren to behave, but his next words made you think elsewise.

“Every time you wear these earrings, I want you to be reminded of how good it feels to have my hot cum filling up your asshole. How… shit, how well you take my cock, how stupidly wet your pussy is for me.”

The brunette licked a stripe just behind your earlobe before grinning into your skin.

“Whenever you look at these stupid worms, I want you to feel the urge to hollow your asshole out in memory of me — knowing nothing will be as good as me.”

Like a fizz of electricity, adrenaline surged from every part of your body and focused right within the heart of your cunt. With an explosive cry, your orgasm ripped through your body, your legs wanting to involuntarily close shut.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Eren shoves a few more thrusts into you before he’s stilling flush to your back and spilling warm seed into your ass.

You’re still reeling through your orgasm when he cums, his semen lightly tickling that one gooey spot up your ass. The act causes you to keen — a pretty moan squeezing from your throat as your mouth lays slack atop or Eren’s duvet, a wet patch of dribbled saliva surrounding it.

With weak standing, your knees collapse from underneath you, sending both you and Eren flat on top of his bed.

Still inside you and recovering from his orgasm, Eren lets out a stuffed groan.

“Shit…”

He breathes into your ear. The warmness of it post coitus not so inviting anymore.

“Man, that was something else.”

Your head was still spinning, your body buzzing from the cathartic expression of lust but even in the haze that you were in, you had words for the brunette.

“What the absolute fuck is wrong with you?” You mumble.

“Huh?”

What you said was clear. Eren had heard exactly what you said, but the words sounded so unthreatening for what they were that he had to ask — just in case he was hearing things wrong.

“Did you just ask what the fucks wrong with me?”

You hummed to affirm, using that as your initial answer, but it’s when Eren pinched your back for an answer that you relented.

“Worms? During sex, Eren? Really?!”

“It’s your fault for wearing them. They’re so dumb.”

“And yet you just couldn’t keep them outta ya mouth.” You quickly retort.

Eren didn’t like that. You could tell because he made a stupid huffy noise before quickly propping himself up and pulling out of your ass.

That was fun for neither of you as you both moaned in loss of the warmth.