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wonysugar · 10 months

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if you insist | jang wonyoung

synopsis: jang wonyoung, the biggest fuckgirl on campus, asks you, y/n l/n, an honors student, to study together after classes

pairing: scum!wonyoung x goodgirl!femreader

genres: college au, smut with plot lowkey and tbh that’s it help

tags: g!p wonyoung, college au, wonyoung is a fuckgirl, reader doesn’t know wonyoung has a dick, facefucking, cowgirl, wonyoung doesn’t care how reader feels in the beginning, wony is insufferable in this (sorry it must be said), some texting, reader and wony are both vers switches

warnings: none? just be mindful that wy kinda sucks at first but then we grow to enjoy her me thinks! (and she also has a dick so that’s that)

word count: 3.3k

a/n: i wasn’t originally gonna make her have a g!p but inspiration struck me and i just had to. also, sorry for taking so long with this!! i truly hope you enjoy it<3

“so, any questions?”

that sentence alone wakes basically most of the class up from their deep sleep, this is one of - if not the - most boring class in your program. every session of his is a literal snoozefest, you hadn’t slept well last night so this would’ve been your chance.

but you still managed to stay awake, you needed to ace this next test, keeping a streak of good grades is your main source of dopamine, so failing it was out of the question. well, it’s not like you failed any of them, anyway.

the class comes to an end and the students all pack their stuff to leave. as you put your books away, jang… wonyoung walks up to you? ‘what the hell does she want?’ you think to yourself. she leans on the desk and runs a hand through her long straight dark hair, her other hand inside of her gray hoodie’s pocket. you look at her up and down, then finally set your eyes on hers.

“what do you want?” you annoyingly ask her, grabbing your bag and jacket, her being the only thing holding you back from leaving.

“why so uptight, girl?” she grins, looking back at her friends as they laugh at this whole interaction. her friend group was a bunch of ugly frat guys, you weren’t surprised she associated herself with them though, she’s the exact same (just, much hotter). “i was just gonna ask you if you were busy later, baby.” not-so-subtly eyeing your every curve, even slightly tilting her head to catch a better glimpse of your ass, cheekily smiling.

you roll your eyes at the girl, “i don’t want to fuck you, wonyoung. now, if you’ll excuse me-“

then, she leans in, her taller figure towering over you and stopping you from moving forward, your heart skips a beat, despite you not really wanting it to, “who even mentioned sex, y/n? oh you totally picture me naked.” she smirks, peaking glances at your lips.

“get to the point. what do you really want?” you coldly respond, trying to not pay too much attention to her literally staring you down.

she backs up from you, chuckling as she readjusts her already good looking hair. “chill shawtyy, it was a jokee.” you glare, “anyways, i was just wondering if you wanted to study together later, back at your dorm? i barely listened in class, i’d like to actually understand the lecture this time.”

study together? actually understanding the lecture?? since when did this girl ever care about studies?

“oh, so now you’re trying to get good grades, jang wonyoung?” you say with a scoff, earning a playful smile from her in response.

“i guess that seeing you work so hard motivates me, l/n y/n.”

i mean, what could go wrong? if she’s really trying to improve her grades, then who were you to stop that? that would just be wrong of you. plus, it doesn’t look like she’s lying, either. you notice the hopeful look in her eyes, is she waiting for you to accept? you chuckled,

“i’ll think about it.” you say as you walk past her. then, making you jump, she slaps your ass before putting her hood on and jogging over to her friends, earning a high five from one of them as they all laugh. she looks over to you and winks, “see you later, mama.”

you can’t lie, that pet name sent a chill down your spine and you unfortunately couldn’t tell if it was a good one or not. could it even be considered a pet name? anywho, you walk to your next class, excited to see what the rest of the day brings you. and you kinda wish it involved wonyoung, because despite denying it, you did find her very attractive.

you’ll just have to wait and see.

after getting wonyoung’s number from your very ‘popular on campus’ friend, huh yunjin, you’re hesitant to text her. i mean, it’s not like your life right now is all that interesting to begin with, so maybe flirting with a fuckgirl is gonna help you kill your boredom.

smiling to yourself, satisfied with your decision, you grab your phone and type a quick message as you make your way to the exit. after saving her contact, you’re about to set your phone back in your pocket, and you get a notification.

she already responded? you open your phone and type out your next responses as you see her messages.

what?

and she just leaves you on delivered after that? what the fuck is wrong with her.. and what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you getting butterflies?? this is anything BUT cute. the typos? the winky face?? god you can literally visualize her smirk just from reading her messages. despite all of that, you giggle to yourself, but then quickly mentally beat yourself up for it. she’s just joking, is what you thought. you type out your dorm number and put your phone back in your pocket.

you get in your car then drive to your shared apartment. upon arriving, you immediately start rearranging the place. i mean, it’s not like she would care about your dorm looking pretty anyway, since hers probably doesn’t look any better. you’re doing this for your own self, you told yourself. thank god your roommate wasn’t home that day, you’d have a lot of explaining to do.

hours quickly went by as you cleaned up everything, you turn on your phone, reading the clock, 5:54 pm.

she’ll be here soon. you mentally prepare yourself, putting on different, more comfy-looking clothes, then proceed to sit on your couch. bouncing your leg up and down as you await the ringing of your doorbell, looking at the progressing time on your hanging clock. ‘why am i freaking out over this?’, you think to yourself. it’s not like you’re meeting a date, plus she’s probably gonna be late. reassuring yourself, you come to the conclusion that it’s because you haven’t received someone over in so long. of course you’d be exci-

ding dong!

quickly, you rush to your door and open it, finding the taller girl, wonyoung, leaning against the door frame. well, she’s surprisingly here on time. she’s wearing a backwards cap, a black zip up jacket over a white oversized t-shirt and some gray sweatpants.

you weren’t expecting anything grand coming from her, so the look doesn’t faze you.

she smirks at you eyeing her outfit, “did you miss me, bae?”, making you sigh as you roll your eyes, stepping aside to let her in.

“you’re on time, that’s surprising.” you say in a condescending tone. in response, she chuckles, taking off her jordan’s, “how could i keep you waiting?”

she steps foot into your house, observing everything, but only for a quick moment.

“damn, you keep this place neat though huh?” right as you were about to brag about being a very organized person, unlike her, she quickly cuts you off, “yeah sooo…. where your room at?”

you give her a look of disbelief.

“god, y/n, it’s so that we can study properly. who the fuck studies in the living room?” you process that for a moment and look away from her in slight shame, she probably didn’t even mean it like that. then, as you’re about to apologize,

“that text i sent you is still on your mind, hm? you’re cute.” she says, chuckling as she’s grabbing your waist, gently pushing you against one of your hallway’s walls. you unintentionally gulp, looking into her eyes, then at her lips.

“you want me to, don’t you? you want me to fuck your brains out?” leaning into you, she whispers against your ear. you can feel her hot breath on it, making you shiver. but instead of actually doing anything, she quickly steps away from you, a smirk plastered on her face.

what the fuck.

“no but seriously, where’s your room shawty?” she nonchalantly asks, as if she wasn’t all up on you not even 5 seconds ago?? god, what is with this girl? you just blink at her in complete disbelief and confusion, then lead her to your room.

“so that explains why that phrase could be interpreted as a lot of different things. does that make sense?” you ask her, her gaze instantly meeting yours, like she wasn’t looking at the book. was she even listening?

“…what are you looking at.” you coldly add.

“sorry, i wasn’t listening.” she smirks, still looking at you, eyes darting back and forth between your lips and eyes. you scoff, mumbling an annoyed i know as you close the book in question, sitting up. you’ve had enough, she’s driving you insane.

“look, if you’re just here to sit around and do nothing you might as well just leave. i mean, you’re not even paying attention nor are you fucking me right now, so this just seems like a waste of time.” you snap at her. in response, her eyes widen, she definitely wasn’t expecting you to be so blunt. she then grins.

“which one are you waiting for me to do?” she smirks, getting closer to you.

frustrated at yourself for even wanting wonyoung to do you in the first place, an annoyed “fuck you.” was all that could come out of your mouth.

“i mean, if you insist.” she smirks, and places her lips onto yours, forcefully and roughly. quickly, she brushes her tongue along your lips, asking for entrance. you part your lips, allowing her tongue to roam around your mouth. before you could even realize, she was on top of you, her jacket and cap off and her hard on pressing on your stomach.

wait. her.. hard on???

you quickly push her away in surprise. she looked at you, a confused look painted on her face. “what?” she asks you.

“y-you. you have a dick??” you hesitantly ask her back. it’s not that you were against it, quite the opposite, even. but, it just caught you by surprise. since when did she… okay, dumb question.

she scoffs in amusement, “I thought everyone knew that? why do you think straight girls like me so much?”

ugh, nevermind, she was so much hotter when she wasn’t talking. before you could say anything else, though,

“you wanna see it, y/n?”

you reluctantly nod, earning a sly smile from her. quickly, she grabs the waistband of her not-so-boner-proof sweatpants and pulls it down, revealing black calvin klein boxers, her cock poking through.

“take it off.” she basically orders you, making you glare at her. you didn’t like listening to anything wonyoung said, but saying you were horny would be an understatement and you didn’t feel like stalling. you pull the boxers down, making her throbbing dick bounce up at you before sitting up.

dear god, it was big. you couldn’t exactly blame the girls who begged to fuck her anymore, cause if you knew it was that huge before, you would have thought about it a lot more. it’s girthy and veiny while being slightly above average size. it’s weirdly pretty for being used to fuck a bunch of girls, you keep that to yourself, though. you don’t wanna inflate her already huge ego.

before she could say anything arrogant about her size, you put the head in your mouth, slowly circling your tongue around the tip. quickly, you work towards taking the entire length as she groans and throws her head back. suddenly, though, as you’re still sucking, she unexpectedly grabs your head and forces her cock all the way down your throat, earning a gag from you and a moan from her.

“you were going too slow.” she specified, groaning and relentlessly fucking your throat. you would never admit it outloud, but you loved the way she was roughly pulling on your hair, using your mouth to get off. it hurt your ego, your pride, being used by a fuckgirl like this, being used by wonyoung like this. it was degrading, but you still loved it.

you keep letting her handle you like this for a long while, working your tongue on her tip and shaft in the process of her moving your head up and down her cock. hair all on your face, you didn’t even bother tying it, you liked it messy, and she apparently did too. her moans and groans getting higher and shorter, her grip getting tighter, you can only assume that she’s getting closer to finishing.

“fuck baby.. you’re gonna be good and swallow it all, okay?” she said, still using your throat. soon enough, she lets out a long moan and you quickly feel her dick slightly throb, spurting out a warm and thick liquid everywhere in your mouth, it was bitter and salty. you pull away and she looks at you, smirking and expecting you to swallow, which you don’t wanna give her the satisfaction of seeing. you wanted to see how far she would go, what she would do to you.

when she sees that you’re not doing what she asked, “come on, swallow it, you bitch.” she tells you, grabbing your jaw and smiling at you in a mocking way. you probably look like a huge whore to her right now, cum slightly spilling out of your mouth and everything. you glare at wonyoung and swallow all of it like she asked earlier, all of her semen, keeping eye contact. in response to that, she chuckles and grabs your cheek, patting it. “atta girl, you’re hotter when you do what you’re told.”

you roll your eyes as she chuckles and push her back on the bed, eyeing her still very hard dick. in a swift motion, you take off your jeans and panties, hovering over her. then, you sit down on it, slowly taking in all the length.

“you a virgin?” she asks you, holding onto your waist.

“no, why? you think i don’t know how to ride di-“

she grips on your waist and unexpectedly pushes you down onto her cock, making you accidentally let out a loud noise, a mix between a moan and a yelp. it was painful being penetrated so fast, especially by something so big but the sensation was also.. amazing. before you could have the chance to ask her to go slowly, though, she’s already pumping in and out, increasing her speed progressively. okay, now, it hurts.

“can you go slower for - mmh - f-fuck’s sake..”

“no? you take things too fucking slowly, i’m here to cum, not fall asleep.” she grunts, still lifting you up and down her cock, using you like she would a fleshlight. you notice that she gets a lot more annoying during sex, meaner, even. and you hate to admit it, but you’ve also noticed that you seem to enjoy it a lot.

“fuuuck babygirl, you’re so tight.” she mumbles as she presses her thumb onto your exposed clit and plays with it, earning a whimper from you. you feel your walls clench around her as you roughly bounce on her, taking in all of her length.

she’s fucking you so roughly, magically hitting all of the right spots, as if she knows exactly where they are. you couldn’t help but let out the lewdest most shameless noises known to man, it feels too good not to. she definitely didn’t use her mouth for much, but god did she know how to use her cock.

after a while of you bouncing up and down on her, you already feel like you could cum, despite trying your hardest to keep it in, to enjoy it a little longer. a knot was starting to form in your lower stomach, fuck, you were so close, and the fact that she was fucking you so roughly nonstop was making it so hard to keep it contained.

“fuck y/n i’m about to cum again..” she whimpers out needily, once again tightly holding onto your waist. you can’t let her though, not yet. you grab her wrists and pin them above her head, preventing her from touching you. a confused but very aroused expression plastered on her face.

“you can wait a little longer, right?” you ask, but in a tone that basically makes it seem like an order. she glares at you, gaze full of lust yet worry. you could tell she liked the sense of being in control, and that she felt vulnerable in this state. she usually was doing the fucking, not whatever this is. and she was even more frustrated that she liked it.

she moaned, chest heaving up and down from the effort she’s putting in to not climaxing, especially inside of you. you ride her dick, changing the speed to your liking. sometimes moving painfully slow, making her sensitive tip throb at the sensation, other times riding it like there was no tomorrow, she felt it everywhere, your slick running up and down her entire shaft in a fast motion. “c-can i cum yet? you’re being so - fuck - annoying.” she messily asks you, the feeling of you bouncing on her making her stumble over her words.

“maybe i’d let you if you weren’t so goddamn impatient.” you say, moaning out the words.

you were making it so hard for her, she actually thought she would pass out. thankfully for her, though, you quickly get closer to finishing, the noises coming out of your mouth getting louder and higher. then, you feel yourself clench around her length.

seeing you like this, hearing you call out her name as you came all over her cock, it all just made her arousal grow even more. she really couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“y/n please get off i need to cum ineedtocu-“

“cum inside of me.” you interrupted, you were still coming down from your high and you needed her to fill you up. you were on the pill, but she didn’t need to know that yet. you wanted to see how far she would actually go. “w-what? are you fucking crazy what if i get you pre-“ you cut her off by lifting yourself up on her cock, then back down, earning a cute moan from her.

“fill me up, wony. do it.”

upon hearing those words, the nickname, her eyes widen and she bites her bottom lip, throwing her head back as she pants from all the different feelings she felt. she would’ve actually thought about it more if she wasn’t horny out of her mind at the moment.

a mind blanking orgasm hits her, and you can feel the familiar feeling of her warm thick juices filling up your cunt again as you both moan in unison. she rambles out fucks and oh my gods as she takes it all in. watching her become such a mess just because of you.. if you weren’t so tired, that would’ve definitely made you wanna fuck her again. poor baby has probably never even been edged by a girl before.

you watched her as she came down from her high, head still thrown back as she’s panting and heaving. then, she lifts it back up to look at you, smiling shyly. was this the same wonyoung you knew? because if yes, she got significantly cuter.

you laid down on her, resting your head in the crook of her neck. you didn’t even bother pulling her dick out of you, it felt comfortable, and honestly? you were way too lazy to.

“so, are you gonna be telling this to your friends?” you jokingly ask her.

“they’d never let me live it down if they knew you got me begging for you, girl.. so, no.” she confessed, making you giggle.

“also shawty, if you do get pregnant, just be aware that i will not be taking care of the baby.” she adds.

you hum, “you’ll still fuck me whenever you feel like it though, right?”

she chuckles in response, “i mean..

if you insist.”

#smut #kpop gg #female reader #ive #jang wonyoung #ive jang wonyoung #ive wonyoung #ive smut #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung x female reader #jang wonyoung x reader #jang wonyoung x female reader

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gojos-thot-patrol · 8 months

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Starring: Frat boy! Sukuna and a (possibly) pregnant reader

Synopsis: Funny how something as small as a grain of rice can cause a shift so massive in so many lives. Deny all he wants, you're having a baby and now Ryomen has to comes to terms with being a young dad. While it can be read on it's own, this is also part of the Frat Boy Au, which you can read here!

Content Warnings: a pregnancy scare, other than that, it's mostly fluff ;)

(Also, if yall want a song to go with the fic: New Mistakes by Jellyfish inspired it)

You had experienced time slowing down before. It slowed down as you walked across the stage for your high school graduation. It had slowed down again when you got your acceptance letter to college. It slowed down the first time you saw your now boyfriend, and when you met his mom for the first time. But it had never been slower than it was now, as you sat on your bed, staring at the Clearblue pregnancy test in your hand.

“Well, what’s it say?!” You roommate, Mei Mei, asked- arguably more nervous than you were. She knew Ryomen was bad news, but she didn’t think he was this fucking bad. She moved to try and take the test from your hand, only for Shoko to slap her shoulder.

“Stop making a bad situation worse Mei.” Shoko growled, irritated from not being able to light a cigarette during this high stress situation.

“Two lines…” You mumbled, not looking up from the stick, “Two lines, what does two lines mean!?” Their expressions told you everything you needed to know. Panic filled you as you dropped the test and grabbed a pillow to scream into. God, how could you have let this happen?! Your period was only a few days late, you had taken the test mostly to put Mei Mei at ease. You didn’t know if you were happy you took it or not anymore.

“It’s okay Y/n, we’ll figure this out.” Shoko sighed as she rubbed your back, failing to hide the disappointment in her voice.

“How am I supposed to tell him?!” You panicked as you ripped your head up from the pillow, “How do you tell someone you ruined there life?!”

“You ruined his life?!” Mei Mei scoffed in disbelief at the assertion, “You should be asking him how the hell he plans to make this up to you! He ruined your life!”

“Nobody's life is ruined!” Shoko snapped at the both of you. “It’s a baby not cancer, Jesus fucking Christ. And it’s not like you don’t have options. You’re the one in control here Y/n, whatever you want to happen will happen.” She said, motherly assurance uncharacteristically thick in her tone. It did make you feel a little bit better about the situation. You weren’t absolutely powerless here.

And it wasn’t like you were against being a mother. Quite the contrary, you liked the idea. Of course, you never thought it would be this soon in your life, but…the universe had a funny way of handling things. And if you were going to have a baby, you didn’t think you could have picked a better guy than Ryomen. He was loving, and kind, not to mention the fact he was guaranteed a good job out of college. But, you also knew that he was beyond nervous about being a dad one day, terrified by the notion of becoming his own father.

“I need to talk to Ryomen.” You sighed.

🍼🍼🍼

“Dude, In what world does a theoretical physicist need to know about the themes of The Metamorphosis, so a dude becomes a bug, so wh-”

“Hey, shut up Y/n just texted me.” Ryomen cut Satoru off as he checked his phone, the buzzing alerting him to a notification. They were sitting next to each other on the couch, venting about classes they hated. Sugruru was sitting on the arm of the couch closest to Satoru, and Nanami taking up an entire love seat across from them as he played on his own phone. It was a relief to have an excuse to end this conversation really. Ryomen did not have it in him to try and listen to his frat brother straight up misunderstand classic literature for the millionth time.

“And you couldn’t wait to answer it until I finished my sen-”

“No, Y/n texted.” Ryomen said without looking up from his phone, but trusting his tone got across his annoyance. Satoru knew you took precedence, Ryomen didn't know why he was acting like you didn’t all of the sudden.

“And she couldn't wait for two-”

“Are you still talking?” Ryomen snapped. Satoru let out an irritated grumble, frustrated he couldn’t go on his (ill informed) rant about how classic American literature, and literature in general, was useless. “Y/n wants to come over.” Ryomen informed his frat brothers. “Like, now.”

“What’s up with Y/n?” Suguru asked from his spot on the arm of couch, deciding it was safe to enter the conversation now that there was no hope of Satoru going on his rant.

“No clue, she just says we need to talk.” He grumbled softly as he typed on his phone. It wasn’t like you to be this cagey about anything, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t concern him at least a little.

“Dude, shes gonna break up with you.” Satoru's mouth moved faster than his brain did, and for it he got a swift elbow to the stomach.

“No she’s not.” Ryomen hissed. “She just wants to talk.”

“It’s probably to make plans for fall break, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” Nanami said, quickly getting irritated with all the arguing.

“Yeah, the dorms close in, what, like two weeks?” Suguru confirmed, “She’s probably gonna ask to stay with your family so she doesn't have to fly back to her own.”

“You’re probably right.” Ryomen took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. That made sense. You got along great with his mom and brother, and your own family basically not at all. It tracked that you would rather drive a few hours and spend a week with people you liked than fly out to people you didn’t. Yeah, that made sense. Yeah.

So why did he still feel so anxious?

🍼🍼🍼

Ryomen had never been more convinced that you were going to leave him than he was now. As you sat across from him on the bed, starring at your fidgeting hands as if they held the secrets to the universe. Something was palpably wrong, he could feel it hanging in a thick veil between the two of you. He didn’t know if he should reach beyond it to hold you, or give you your space and let you come to him. He settled on nervously picking at his nails.

“So, uh, you wanted to talk?” He asked.

“Yeah, I, uh..I’m just trying to think of how to say this.” You muttered. He felt the color drain from his life when you said that. What did he do? Was it about Amy- or whatever the fuck her name was? That was a month ago now, surly it wasn’t that. Was it someone else? That thought made Ryomen realize that actually, he was capable of murder.

He could feel his jaw clench at the thought of you with another man, white hot rage filling his hands and emotions while images of you with a stranger flashed in his head against his will. What the fuck did that asshole have that he didn’t? What made them think they were worthy of your smile, of your laugh, of you? Who did they think they were?

“Ryomen, I’m pregnant.”

“He’ll never love you like I do.” There was a thick silence of a different variety as they two of you spoke over each other, both of you trying to process what the other said.

“A-are you saying the…baby won’t love me?” You weren’t offended, you were just confused.

“You’re fucking pregnant?” Ryomen could feel his entire world shifting in real time. Thank god you weren’t leaving, but…Pregnant?

“Yeah, that’s what I said, what did You say?” You questioned again, trying to figure out where the fuck that came from. Of all the things you expected him to say, it wasn’t whatever he said.

“It doesn’t really matter what I said, forget I said anything, how long have you known?” He asked, finally pushing past the veil to wrap his arms around you.

“Like…maybe thirty minuets?” You sighed, rubbing your face as the stress came back. “My period was a week late, so…I took a test, and well…Baby.” You still weren’t sure this was all real.

Ryomen felt the world freeze around him as reality took hold. A dad? He couldn’t be a fucking dad. He was in his fucking twenties, he still had two years left until he graduated, he couldn’t be a dad yet! He thought about his own father, who buckled under the pressure and ran off the moment things got hard. What if he inherited that kind of cowardice? Hell, he didn’t even have the spine to tell his dad to fuck off when he came back in his life after eleven years of radio silence just to completely take control of his future, how the fuck was he supposed to raise a child?!

“Babygirl, that’s amazing!” He smiled, pulling you into his lap and kissing your forehead, “You’re going to be an amazing mom.”

“You think so?” You whispered, taking some comfort in his confidence, It eased your own fear about the uncertain future.

“Of course I do.” He assured you with the grin that got you into this mess in the first place. Ryomen was fucking petrified of what came next, and he could tell you were too. To him, easing your fear was the most important thing. He could have his own freak out later, right now he needed to be here for you.

And his words did the trick. Slowly you could feel the tension melting from your shoulders as it settled in that he wasn’t mad, and you weren’t in this alone. “God, I was so scared you where going to leave.” You confessed, feeling the tears pool in the corner of your eyes. His arms tightened around you, holding you like he feared you might be the one to run.

“I’m not going anywhere Babygirl, I promise,” He swore to you, kissing the top of your head, “Wherever you are, that’s were I’ll be. Right next to you and our baby.” His smile was so reassuring, for a second, you actually felt hopeful for the future. He pulled your face to his, and you melted into his kiss.

Ryomen laid with you in his bed, cuddling and talking softly until you finally passed out. He insisted on you staying the night with him, if for no other reason than he found comfort in having you near. He waited until he knew you were in a deep sleep, breathing softly and steadily. He kissed your cheek before he slipped out of bed, into the kitchen for a beer, then out to the balcony to drink it. He was leaning against the old wooden railing, running a hand through his hair as he tried to visualize what his future would look like now.

“So a baby, huh?” He nearly jumped out of his skin at Suguru's voice.

“Jesus fucking Christ, a warning Geto!” He hissed as he took a drink of the cheap beer, giving Suguru the side eye as he leaned next to him.

“Sorry, I’ll make sure to yell at the top of my lungs everywhere I go from now on.” Suguru chuckled softly.

“How do you know we’re having a baby?” Suguru grimaced a little at the pink haired mans question, knowing he got the information through unethical means.

“Satoru listened in on yours and Y/n conversation.” He said as if his ear wasn’t pressed up against the door too, “Sorry.”

“Mmm.” Ryomen groaned, not wanting to accept the apology, but acknowledging it none the less.

“So…whats the plan?” Suguru asked the question no one really wanted to ask, but everyone wanted the answer to.

“The plan is I’m going to be a dad, I guess.” Ryomen grumbled, not really use to the idea yet. He took another drink.

“Well, in that case, congratulations then!” Suguru smiled, taking the cheap beer from Ryomen’s hand and lifting it up, “To the new dad! You’ll do great.” He said as he took a drink.

“Gee, thanks you’re too kind.” Ryomen scoffed.

“Hey man, I’m serious.” Suguru insisted, “I think you’ll be a great dad, if for no other reason than cause your dad sucked. You have the perfect example of what not to do.”

“No I don’t.” Ryomen argued, stress edging into his tone against his will, “My dad wasn’t even there to show me what to not do, he was fucking gone! I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do!” His panic was getting the better of him. He took his beer back and took another drink.

“No one does.” Suguru chuckled, still as calm as ever. “You think this shit comes with a manual? No parent in the long history of parenting has ever known what they were doing. But, you’re worried about it. You’re worried about being a good dad. And that’s further than any shitty parent gets. Probably further than you’re dad got. It shows you care man. And besides, you’ll have Y/n with you. She’s going to be a fantastic mom. If shes got the patience to deal with us, a toddler will be a breeze.”

“I don’t know man. What if…what if I am just like my dad?” Ryomen muttered. He looked just like him. He was going to take over his business. Hell, after his dad forced him to be a business major, Ryomen even changed his last name back to his fathers. It made sense at the time, a Sukuna should be the one to take over the Sukuna family business. But, now? Now that he had to pass that last name on? He wasn’t sure he wanted it. “What if it’s just…in my blood to be my dad?”

Suguru actually laughed at that, hard enough to embarrass the man next to him. “Ryomen, being a shitty person is not genetic I assure you. If it was, Nanami would be a lot more insufferable. It’s not up to our parents to decide who we are as people, that for us to decide and us alone. You’re not your DNA sequencing, you’re the actions that you take and the choices that you make. Your father has no control over that.”

“I mean…yeah. I guess you’re right.” Ryomen muttered, taking another drink before handing the bottle back to Suguru. As cliche as it may have been to say, he was starting to feel better. Maybe he wasn't doomed to be his father. Maybe the Sukuna name wasn’t a death sentence.

“Of course I’m right.” Suguru grinned as he finished off the beer. “So what are you going to do now?” He asked.

“Now?” Ryomen sighed, “Now I need to go talk to my mom.”

🍼🍼🍼

It was a week before Ryomen found the time to make the drive home. A week that he spent attached to your hip. A week making sure you didn’t have to lift up a single thing, a week of threatening anyone who dared smoke around you, and a week of coming to terms with his new future. The two of you had spent the time researching doctors, and on baby forums looking for advice. He was relieved to admit, he kinda became fond of the idea of having a little baby running around.

He started to imagine what they would look like, what they would sound like, and what their favorite color would be. Money wouldn’t be an issue once he took over Malevolent Shrine International, so he wasn’t worried about that. Honestly, you wouldn't have to work if you didn’t want to, and if you did want to he could afford child care. The two- No. The three of you were going to be okay. He hoped it would be only three.

He knocked on the door of his childhood home, having forgot his key and not being willing to go all the way back for it. Much to his dismay, Yuji answered the door.

“Sorry, sign says no solicitors.” He said, quickly trying to close the door. Ryomen was fast to push against him, trying to get his body through the crack in the entry.

“Open the door brat or I’m going to wipe your hard drive.” Ryomen threatened,

“College hasn’t changed you one bit, has it?” Yuji scoffed, sticking his tongue out at his brother.

“It’s made me more prone to violence, wanna see?” Ryomen growled as he pushed against the door harder. Yuji stood firm though, an immovable object to Ryomen’s unstoppable force.

“I’m going to tell Y/n you said that!” It was Yuji’s turn to threaten, “I’m also going to tell her that you beat me up! And you’re mean! And that you kick kittens!”

“Why you little-” Ryomen finally got his arm through the small space, almost getting a hand on his little brother before his mothers voice brought the entire show to a halt.

“Are you two Trying to break my door?!” She sounded exasperated, “Yuji, let your brother in!” The moment their mother got involved the boys remembered how to act, with Yuji calmly opening the door and Ryomen walking in like he wasn’t just trying to strangle his little sibling.

“Hi Mom.” He said, smiling warmly as she came up and hugged him.

“Hi Honey,” She said, giving him a soft pat on the cheek. “Wheres Y/n? I made coffee.”

“She had a test today, she couldn’t make it.” He said. That was a lie. You were completely free, but, he didn't want you here for this conversation.

“Mmm, you know your ears turn red when you lie, right?” His mom laughed as she walked to the kitchen. He followed her with a roll of his eyes, sitting at the kitchen table.

“She was busy, alright?” He defended himself as his mom put a coffee cup in front of him, sitting across from him with her own.

“Sure. So what did you need to talk about sweetie?” She asked. Ryomen took a moment to really study his mom. She didn’t look so different from how he remembered her in his childhood. A few more wrinkles, a lot more gray hair, but still his mother none the less. He wondered how she felt when she realized she was having a baby.

“So, um…Y/n is…” He couldn’t make eye contact.

“Ryomen, don’t tell me you got that poor girl pregnant.” She gasped, putting down her mug and looking at him with demanding eyes.

“Why would you jump to that?!” He tried to deflect.

“Then tell me she’s not.” She said, looking at him with a scowl that dared him to try and lie.

“....She is.” He sighed, taking a drink from his coffee to get away from her disappointed gaze.

“Sweet Jesus...” His mom sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. Then she laughed a little, shaking her head with a soft smile she tried to hide behind her coffee cup.

“What?” He asked. She shook her head again.

“Nothing just…well, I guess I was around your age when I had you. A little younger. You can’t really be mad at the apple for not falling too far from the tree now, can you?” She chuckled softly, and it put Ryomen at ease. So she wasn’t going to eviscerate him. Good.

“Yeah, well…Gotta honor some family traditions, am I right?” He tried to joke, only to be quickly shut up by his mothers disapproving glare.

“So whats your plan big man?” She asked, “You’re not going to leave her alone with this, that’s for damn sure.”

“No mom, I couldn’t even imagine-”

“Good, cause I’ll choose Y/n over you every time.” She teased.

“I know mom.” He smiled, “Good to know you like her, cause that makes this question a lot easier to ask.”

“Oh?” He really caught her attention now.

“I was wondering, do you know where Grandmas wedding ring is?” He bit his lip as he finally said it out loud. Even before you were pregnant, every time Ryomen imagined his future, it was always with you as his wife. He couldn’t conceive of a life without you by his side, now more so than ever. He was going to make things right, and unlike his own dad, he wasn’t going to wait for the second baby to do it. He knew he was on the right track when he saw his mothers proud smile.

“As a matter of a fact, I think I do. I think I know where some of your old baby clothes are too, hold on.”

🍼🍼🍼

“Ryo!” You smiled as he walked into the entry of the frat house, carrying a walmart bag of old baby clothes. You were down the stairs and in his arms in an instant, laughing happily as you jumped to him. He caught you with a grin, spinning you around before putting you back on the ground.

“I could get used to that.” He teased. You smiled and rolled your eyes playfully at him.

“I’m sure you could. Ryo, I have amazing news, I- wait, what’s in the bag?” You asked as your brain finally registered that there was something in his hand.

“Oh, yeah!” He smiled excitedly as he put the bag on the coffee table, “Remember how I went to talk to my mom? She says hi by the way, but look! She still had some of mine and Yuji’s old baby clothes!” He said, pulling out a truly precious onesie, covered in stars and a rocket ship, followed by a red, blue, and yellow stripped jumper.

“Oh baby-” You sighed as you realized your good news might actually not be good news.

“I know it’s not a lot, and its all kinda old and used, but it’s a start, you know? Something to bring the baby home in.” He said, putting the clothes down and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Baby, I’m not pregnant.” You dropped that like a nuke. He blinked at you as he tried to process what you just said.

“Huh?”

“I’m not pregnant Ryomen, I’m sorry. I got my period.” You said, gently cupping his cheek. You did not expect a reaction like this at all. Confusion, sure, but not…disappointment?

“But I thought you took a test?” He asked, trying to catch up to reality.

“I did, but it must have been a false positive. Apparently that’s pretty common with my birth control.”

“Oh…” He wasn’t expecting to feel so upset about this either. Like the entire world he had build up in his mind was gone. He realized he was going to be mourning the death of someone who truly never existed, and felt so ridiculous about it. He didn’t realize he was tearing up until you brushed a tear off his cheek.

“I’m sorry Ryo…but, hey! Look on the bright side, we get to keep our twenties!” You chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood. He smiled gently and nodded.

“You’re right it’s just…I don’t know. I kinda liked the idea of starting a family with you.” He confessed softly, an idea that would have made his skin crawl just a little over a year ago. You really did force him to grow up. You laughed a little more sincerely this time, and gave him a quick kiss.

“Sorry Ryo, if you want a family, you’re gonna have to upgrade from the girlfriend package to the wifey bundle.” You teased him.

“Y/n!” Gojo yelled from up the stairs, “Nanami got tired of waiting for you, he un-paused the game!” You paled as you realized that Nanami was unfairly demolishing you at street fighter.

“Hey! That’s illegal!” You yelled as you ran up the stairs to try and salvage the round. Ryomen watched as you ran away, an unfamiliar fondness growing in his chest. Normally, he would have been unbelievably jealous you were hanging out with his friends- especially without him. Now though? He saw it as a good sign.

“Upgrade, huh?” He muttered, mostly to himself. His hand dropped into his pocket, clutching the ring box there. “Don’t worry Y/n. I plan on it.” He promised as he went up stairs to join you.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #jjk frat boy au #frat boy sukuna #sukuna fluff #domestic sukuna #curseless au #dad sukuna #sukuna x reader fluff

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tenshibird · 8 months

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Mermaid au time

Lore down here

I don’t really have a story for it yet and dunno if I ever will. It’s just a silly little AU where I suddenly came up with most of the lore at 3am. And it’s mostly PLANT lore.

Sorry if it’s messy I tried making sens of my even messier notes.

PLANTS are some kind of deep sea seaweed that look like a mix of the petals and glowy markings from stampede and the feathers from trimax. So no humanoid bodies, just the leave things. They’re still a hivemind entity that’s all connected though. They need a very specific environment to live so scientists have had a hard time recreating the PLANTS environment to better study them.

PLANTS can use DNA from other species to create creatures close to the species but plant like to help them thrive. Like bringing them food, protecting them or help them spread seeds and stuff. Scientists know this ability but they (I) have no clue how it works. The PLANT recreated creatures have PLANT like markings and features. They thought PLANTS could only recreate aquatic species or more specifically some smaller ones but sharks and even a whale have been seen. Then somehow human DNA (probably blood) got into one of the tank they kept some PLANT in and Tessla happened. Mermaid aren’t their own species, just mermaid looking PLANT creatures. She’s close to Nai’s coloration. After she died because of the experimentation, the scientists tried to recreate human/PLANT hybrids but couldn’t force it. Some years later Rem who’s, one of the scientist, found Vash and Nai and hid them so they wouldn’t undergo what Tessla had.

In this AU Wolfwood, Meryl and Millie are university students. Meryl and Millie are journalists students while Wolfwood is probably marine biology. Wolfwood wasn’t experimented on but he still had a rough childhood.

The design are a mix of stampede and trimax so Wolfwood and Meryl are based of stampede and Millie, Vash, Nai and Rem are based of trimax.

The twin’s hair are based of trimax because after Rem died they where on their own in the ocean and they didn’t have anything to cut undercuts. Vash’s hair are down just cause I think it’s cute. They’re both trans and had longer hair like in 98 when they where younger.

No clue yet if Nai is evil or not but he’s definitely Vashwood enemy number one.

Rem is a marine biologist from Québec probably from Gaspé so she’s speaks both Québec French and English and taught both to the twins. So picture this:

*twins arguing in French*

Ww: *looking at them confused* This some kinda secret mermaid language?

Meryl: No. it’s just French…

If anything isn’t clear or y’all have any questions feel free to ask :)

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microcosme11 · 8 months

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This is only part of a love letter Napoleon wrote

Je ne sais pas quel sort m’attend ; mais s’il m’éloigne plus longtemps de toi, il me [devient] insupportable ; mon courage ne va pas jusque-là. Il fut un temps où je m’enorgueillissais de mon courage, et quelquefois, en jetant les yeux sur le mal que pourraient me faire les hommes, sur le sort que pourrait me réserver le destin, je fixais les malheurs les plus inouïs sans froncer le sourcil, sans me sentir étonné. Mais aujourd’hui, l’idée que ma Joséphine pourrait être mal, l’idée qu’elle pourrait être malade, et surtout la cruelle, la funeste pensée qu’elle pourrait m’aimer moins, flétrit mon âme, arrête mon sang, me rend triste, abattu, ne me laisse pas même le courage de la fureur et du désespoir… Je me disais souvent jadis : les hommes ne peuvent rien à celui qui meurt sans regret ; mais aujourd’hui, mourir sans être aimé de toi, mourir sans cette certitude, c’est le tourment de l’enfer, c’est l’image vive et frappante de l’anéantissement absolu. Il me semble que je me sens étouffer. Mon unique compagne, toi que le sort a destinée pour faire avec moi le voyage pénible de la vie, le jour où je n’aurai plus ton cœur sera celui où la nature aride sera pour moi sans chaleur et sans végétation… Je m’arrête, ma douce amie ; mon âme est triste, mon corps est fatigué, mon esprit est étourdi. Les hommes m’ennuient. Je devrais bien les détester : ils m’éloignent de mon cœur.

Je suis à Port-Maurice, près Oneille ; demain, je suis à Albenga. Les deux armées se remuent ; nous cherchons à nous tromper. Au plus habile la victoire. Je suis assez content de Beaulieu ; s’il manœuvre bien, il est plus fort que son prédécesseur. Je le battrai, j’espère, de la belle manière. Sois sans inquiétude, aime-moi comme tes yeux ; mais ce n’est pas assez : comme toi ; plus que toi, que ta pensée, ton esprit, ta vie, ton tout. Douce amie, pardonne-moi, je délire ; la nature est faible pour qui sent vivement, pour celui que tu animes. [...]

Adieu, adieu, je me couche sans toi, je dormirai sans toi, je t’en prie, laisse-moi dormir. Voilà plusieurs jours où je te serre dans mes bras, songe heureux mais, mais, ce n’est pas toi…

--------

I don’t know what fate awaits me; but if it keeps me away from you any longer, it [becomes] unbearable to me; my courage only goes so far. There was a time when I prided myself on my courage, and sometimes, casting my eyes on the harm that men could do to me, on the fate that destiny could have in store for me, I stared at the most incredible misfortunes without frowning, without feeling surprised. But today, the idea that my Joséphine could be unwell, the idea that she could be ill, and above all the cruel, fatal thought that she could love me less, withers my soul, stops my blood, makes me sad, dejected, does not even leave me with the courage of fury and despair… I often used to say to myself: men can do nothing to those who die without regret; but today, to die without being loved by you, to die without this certainty, is the torment of hell, it is the vivid and striking image of absolute annihilation. I seem to be suffocating. My only companion, you whom fate has destined to make with me the painful journey of life, the day when I will no longer have your heart will be the day when arid nature will be for me without heat and without vegetation… I stop, my sweet friend; my soul is sad, my body is tired, my mind is dizzy. Men bore me. I should hate them: they take me away from my heart.

I am in Port-Maurice, near Oneille; tomorrow I'm in Albenga. The two armies move; we seek to deceive each other. The most skilful wins. I am quite happy with Beaulieu; if he maneuvers well, he is stronger than his predecessor. I will beat him, I hope, in a good way. Don't worry, love me like your eyes; but that’s not enough: like you; more than you, than your thought, your spirit, your life, your everything. Sweet friend, forgive me, I am delirious; nature is weak for those who feel keenly, for those whom you animate. [...]

Goodbye, goodbye, I'm going to bed without you, I'll sleep without you, please let me sleep. It's been several days since I held you in my arms, happy dream but, but, it's not you…

link to the entire letter on napoleonica

#Napoleon was the most ardent passionate lover #Josephine was wasted on him #Napoleon's correspondence #Napoleon letters to Josephine #it's so sad that this love wasn't reciprocated until it was too late and even then not the same way #while he was writing this he also wrote a bunch of orders to people where you would never know he had these feelings

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kristinamae093 · 1 year

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Ghosted

Ghosted - Let You Go (Chapter 3)

Series Summary - Prince Liam fell for Riley Brooks hard and fast. A marriage filled with love and devotion was within his reach. But everything changed when she vanished just before the end of the social season. As everyone voices their concerns regarding her scandalous departure, a confession from an unlikely source turns Liam's world upside down and makes him question everything around him.

Book/Pairing - TRR- Liam x MC (Riley Brooks), hints of Liam x Madeleine

A/N1: This AU starts right before the beginning of the engagement tour. There is a two-month lapse between the coronation and where we pick up, but we will stray from canon. Please excuse any errors found.

A/N2: This is the last flashback chapter, for a while at least. If you've stuck around thus far, thanks a million! I really appreciate it! 💚🥹💚

Some dialogue borrowed directly from canon this chapter, but not much.

Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Chatter filled the crowded ballroom, mixed with the soft notes from a full orchestra. The golden hue from the overhead chandelier shone across the ballroom floor as nobles twirled each other about. Excitement filled the air as everyone awaited the start of the ceremony, where they would witness the crowning of a new King.

However, Liam did not feel as happy as he was supposed to be. He stood in a corner with Drake and sipped on a scotch as he awaited the inevitable. With Riley gone, he had to choose a different suitor. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind much, as he continuously thought about Riley since she had left; where she could have gone, and why. But his father finally forced an answer out of him early that morning.

The conclusion was that Liam would pick Olivia. He knew she was the only suitor left he could trust. There was no other choice; he had to pick someone in only a matter of moments. Olivia was the perfect solution; he could choose her and still continue his search for Riley.

But Liam hadn’t seen Olivia since he had greeted her in the receiving line earlier. He mentioned they needed to speak, but he hadn’t been able to find her since.

“Drake, have you seen Olivia?” Liam asked as he scanned the room.

“Heh, you know, now that you mention it, it has been rather warm in here without her icy presence.” Drake replied with a lopsided grin.

Liam gave Drake an annoyed look. “I’m serious, Drake. I need to speak with her.”

“Sorry…” Drake responded with a shake of the head. “I saw her getting a drink at the bar a while ago, but I haven’t seen her since…” He turned and regarded Liam closely, as he continued his frantic search. Drake quickly changed his face to a serious expression. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“I have to pick someone, even if only to buy myself time to find Riley. That someone has to be Olivia; there’s no way around it,” Liam answered as he continued to look through the mass of people before them.

Drake rolled his eyes. “... But Olivia? Seriously?”

Liam quickly cut his head over to Drake. “Would you rather me choose Madeleine? Because she’s next on the list.”

“Ugh, God no.” Drake shuddered, but started a search of his own alongside Liam. “I don’t know, man. Maybe she went outside or something?”

“I have to go check. Cover for me if anyone asks?”

“You got it.”

Liam turned from Drake and headed toward the exit. He did not make it far, however, as he felt a hand touch his arm; he turned to see Bastien. “Sir, it’s time.”

Liam let out a breath, but shook his head. He quickly glanced at Drake, who already knew what Liam wanted, as Drake gave him a subtle nod and took off to go check for Olivia outside.

As they made their way over to the stage, Liam felt his anxiety spike. He wasn't sure if it was the upcoming kingship, Riley's disappearance, or not speaking with Olivia that was causing his trouble. He had an incredibly uneasy feeling in his stomach as Bastien led him to the stage where his father and stepmother awaited. The closer they got, the larger the bad sensation in his gut grew.

Liam reached the area and stood at the steps, but couldn’t climb them. The anxiety and dread had peaked; his legs suddenly weighed hundreds of pounds, and he could not gather the strength to lift either. His breathing became shakier, labored, even. He tried his hardest to steady his pulse, but it continued to increase, despite his efforts. To calm the various thoughts racing through his mind, he closed his eyes and counted to ten multiple times.

“Son?” His father spoke from the top of the stairs Liam was stuck in front of. “Are you alright?” He asked with a concerned face.

Liam cleared his throat and replied, “Of course,” and finally lifted his feet to join his father and Regina.

Constantine patted Liam on the back as he made it to him, and Liam gave him the best smile he could muster in return. He crossed the stage and stood by himself with his hands clasped tight in front of him, as his father and Regina took their positions a little ways away from him.

As the crowd hushed, Constantine started his monologue. “The moment we’ve been waiting for all season has finally arrived. It has been my great honor to serve Cordonia these last few decades. We’ve had turmoil, but Cordonia has pulled together even during our toughest times.”

As Constantine rambled, Liam turned his attention from his father to the crowd in front of him, desperately scouting for Olivia. He skimmed through every person he could see from his new vantage point; he saw a crowd of recognizable faces, but not a single one of them was the Scarlet Duchess.

Liam’s eyes landed on Drake, who found himself towards the back of the crowd. He read the silent question in Liam’s expression as they made eye contact, because he shook his head; Drake had not spotted her either.

Their search was interrupted as Liam felt his phone vibrate. He obviously thought to ignore it, but then he heard more devices around him chime with an alert. He glanced back at Drake, who must have gotten one as well, as he stared at the screen in his hand with an astonished expression.

Liam reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone; coronation ceremony be damned. He saw a link to an article and opened it. As he did, the broken crumples that remained of his heart disintegrated as he gawked at the text in front of him:

“Mystery Solved! American Ditches Prince For Lesser Nobleman!”

Liam felt his face flush, and his breaths intensified as he glared at the images on the screen in horror; Riley, in her underwear, in multiple photos with a set of hands on her body in inappropriate places. His pulse thundered in his ears as he scrolled the rest of the column with trembling hands.

“Suitor mysteriously left…”

“Infidelity in Applewood…”

“Lord Tariq and Lady Riley…”

“What the fuck?!“ Liam shouted.

Nothing else mattered at that moment. The coronation was long forgotten, along with the judgemental eyes that watched as Liam completely lost all sense of stoicism. He was no longer a Prince, but only a man; and the man who stood before them was quickly being enveloped by a whirlwind of emotions. There were no words to describe what Liam felt at that moment; devastated wasn’t strong enough, enraged didn’t come close, conflicted only grazed the surface.

The entire court observed their future King with utmost attention, but Liam continued to stand cemented in place; mouth still agape, phone still in hand, hypnotized by the images before him. He was completely unfazed by his surroundings at that moment; but he felt his heart physically aching in his chest the longer he stared.

Constantine was quick to pull Liam aside. Regina addressed the crowd, “If you would all excuse us for a moment,” with a polite smile.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!“Constantine growled as he got Liam off of the stage.

“I- “

“First you pull your phone out during a Royal ceremony, your own coronation, at that! Then, you scream profanity like some kind of foul-mouthed sailor!”

“Father I- “

“What has gotten into you, Liam? Is this all because of that… that girl?”

“She- “

Constantine scoffed. “You let that pesky American into your head, then suddenly you lose all common sense?!” He shook his head and started pacing in front of Liam.

“I-I love her!”

Constantine stopped dead in his tracks and moved to stand directly in front of Liam. “Oh, do you?“ He asked in a low growl.

Liam nodded. “I do, and I know she wouldn’t do that- “

“Then where is she, Liam?! She. LEFT. Now you know why.”

Liam furrowed his brows. “What? That-that’s preposterous!”

“Is it? Because these say otherwise.” Constantine retorted as he pulled his own device from his pocket. He opened the article and shoved it in Liam’s face. “Does that look like she loves you?“

Liam once again lost himself in the images before him with heavy breaths. He found himself to be indigent at that moment; his heart told him not to jump to conclusions, that there could be more to this. But that lingering voice in his head kept asking, where is she? That has been the question for the past two days, but Liam received no answers. The longer he stared at the pictures in front of him, the more turbulent he became.

Constantine pulled his phone away and scoffed at Liam’s reaction. He turned his attention to an advisor who stood close-by. “You! Begin working on a media response now! We have to control the narrative before this can get out of hand!”

Regina cautiously approached Liam. “Don’t let this throw you off, Liam. We still have to conclude the ceremony, and then you are free to react in whatever ways you see fit. But right now, you must choose your bride.” Liam looked at Regina with a wretched expression, but she continued, “I know… But this is your duty, Liam. You know that,” in a tender voice.

Constantine rejoined them. “Make the best decision for the stability of the Crown, son. Especially now, since you’ve blatantly ridiculed decades of hard work by your forefathers.” He took a step closer to look Liam directly in the eye. “And don’t think we’re finished with this conversation either, son,” he hissed. He turned away from them and stomped back out onto the stage and stood where he had been prior; hands clasped tightly in front of him with a blank expression on his face.

Regina gave Liam a pitiful glance, but followed behind Constantine. Although Liam was still in a completely desolate mind frame, he rejoined them.

As Liam took his spot back up on stage, he looked out at the crowd. He saw a various number of different expressions that stared back at him; some appalled and enraged, others judgmental and critical. But most seemed to be filled with pity. Whispers spread throughout the room, most amused by their soon to be King’s unfiltered reaction over being duped by a commoner.

Constantine finished his speech, although it seemed much curter than before. His agitation was clear, and considering everyone had witnessed Liam’s little stunt, he saw no reason to hide his disapproval.

Liam knew his father was right to be upset with him. But at that moment, he couldn’t control his outburst. It’s as if everything he had learned on forbearance completely vacated his mind. The only thing that mattered at that moment was the overwhelming pain he felt in his chest.

Liam took the signet ring to the sound of deferential applause. When he dreamt of this moment a few weeks ago, it was a joyous and happy occasion; he was fulfilling his destiny, even if it wasn’t originally his to inherit. And he would get to marry the woman of his dreams as a bonus. But instead, Liam felt completely confused and despaired as the jewelry slid down his finger, cementing his future in place.

“And now King Liam will choose his bride.” Regina announced to the crowd.

Liam knew Olivia would still be his choice, she was the best option. He knew there was no way she would miss this. If she was there, she would come. He cleared his throat and stood up straight. “I choose Lady Olivia.”

Liam heard his father let out a huff of air behind him and briefly turned to study him. Liam knew he was furious, but he almost looked irater than he had been prior. Constantine was good at his stoicism, but Liam could read right through it.

The crowd broke out into another bout of polite applause. Everyone looked throughout the room for the fiery redhead to make her way to join Liam. The claps filled the air for a brief period before it slowly died down, and a deafening silence overtook the large room.

“I choose Lady Olivia.” Liam repeated with more force. He hoped she couldn’t hear him and would come upon his louder repetition.

A few applauded once more, but the silence quickly returned. Liam fought to keep his face steady, but it was to no avail. Everyone could see his turmoil happening within; it was clearly illustrated all over his face. He frantically tried to decide what to do next but received very little time to decide.

“It would appear as though Lady Olivia is not here. King Liam will now choose a different bride.” Constantine addressed the crowd.

Liam closed his eyes at his father’s words. He found himself backed into a corner. Olivia was obviously not there, but he had to choose a suitor; there was no way around it. Of all the ladies left, he knew who the third most favorable option was, and certainly who his father wanted him to pick.

Liam opened his eyes and let out a heavy sigh before he quietly said, “... I choose Lady Madeleine.”

Liam sat by himself on his mother’s bench inside the hedge maze, lost in reflection. The court gathered inside the palace just a couple hundred yards from where he sat for the first official event of the engagement tour; a formal dinner hosted by the ‘happy couple’ to thank everyone for joining them along their route. Liam found himself to be struggling, however, and had to excuse himself for a few moments to get some air. He told those around him there was an urgent matter needing his attention, and quietly slipped out the front door of the palace.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation he had with Drake and Olivia a few days prior; he had tried and failed to push it out of his mind. Olivia's assumptions that Riley could have been forced out of the running along with her had not truly seeped in until he retired to his quarters that evening. Although he tried to stop it, he couldn't control the flicker of hope that ignited within himself at her accusations. It seems the more he thought about it, the more his heart wanted to believe it.

He had so many questions after the scandal came to light but put them aside to focus his attention on his country. After the fiasco at his coronation was broadcasted on nearly every news outlet globally, he knew he had to step it up and prove that was merely a lapse in judgment. And thus far, he had. People were thriving under his rule, and the nobility seemed content with his leadership thus far.

He thought he had moved past these feelings of doubt with his conclusion that Riley had left to be with Tariq. But as Olivia, and then Drake, questioned things, he felt his certainty waver with added vigor. It’s almost as if his heart took that first little spark of hope and clung onto it for dear life.

But he also vividly remembers being completely and utterly humiliated. Although he had tried to be fair to all the ladies throughout the social season, he could not hide his feelings for Riley. Everyone knew Liam favored her, the press even labeled her the frontrunner to win his hand shortly before she left. The nobles and people alike knew he was going to choose her to be his Queen.

Instead, he found himself angry, broken, alone, and embarrassed. He probably would have felt all of those things had he found the article alone, but being on such a public platform made it that much worse for him. Looking back, he felt a fool for allowing himself to react in such a way. He knew better, yet he still let himself get caught up in the moment. Liam the man had taken over, and Liam the King was powerless against it.

He held sideways feelings toward Riley and Olivia both for their sudden departures, but held no animosity toward Olivia, now. Before she came to his study that day, Liam was furious with her as well. He wanted to make a trip to Lythikos to confront her, but the Crown called him elsewhere. But ultimately, she had shown up and proved her case to him. Although he wished she would have immediately told him about her situation, he understood why she fled. He had his own load of information dropped on him and reacted in his own way; he could not fault her for doing the same.

But he was not granted that same clarity with Riley. He didn’t want to believe that she had left to be with Tariq, but she disappeared; not a word to anyone, aside from her vague note. That’s what hurt Liam the most. If she was doubtful, she should have told him. If she had feelings for another, she should have communicated that to him. More than being in love with her, he had found a best friend, a confidant in her. Sure, he had Drake and a few others, but nobody understood him the way she did. He told her things he wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Drake. Her abandoning the friendship they had established killed Liam a little more inside with every passing day.

And Liam felt reliant on her as a crutch during their brief time together. When his father, or the pressures of the Crown, would become too much, he would look for her. Just seeing her across the room would calm him. Her presence set his soul ablaze and made him feel like he had a better purpose than only being Royalty, secured to a life of duty. He felt like he could have it all: the perfect Queen, his dream wife, and one day, the best mother to his children. For her to disregard him without a second thought, and so abruptly, completely changed who he was as a man.

But Liam still often caught himself thinking about Riley; regardless of the humiliation and turmoil he had faced after her scandalous departure, although he wouldn’t admit that to anyone. He wanted to know what happened, what went wrong. The world was being offered to her on a silver platter, and although he knew she wasn’t a material person; he thought he was enough. He genuinely believed they were in love and would rule the country he had dedicated his life to serving together.

But beginning the engagement tour without Riley really put it into perspective, she was truly gone, she really wasn’t his bride. A small part of himself had thought that he had been asleep in some kind of long, alcohol induced delirium this whole time; he would wake up soon, and realize it had all been a nightmare.

But this wasn’t a dream, it was his reality. And although Liam knew he needed to accept it and move on, he couldn’t stop the unending dread he felt from truly continuing his life without her.

Liam heard footsteps behind him and turned to see his father as he made his way toward him. Liam turned his vision back to the fountain in front of him as his father took a seat beside him. The two remained silent, aside from the sounds of the calm night around them and the trickling of the fountain.

The silence stood for a long while before Constantine broke it. “I haven’t been out here in, oh, probably ten years.”

“Mmm.”

“It’s a beautiful night.”

“Sure is.”

Constantine continued, despite Liam’s lack of interest. “I see we’re adding Portavira to the list of stops on the tour. That will be good for morale, given their disadvantaged time.”

“Yep,” Liam responded in a flat tone. He was not in the mood for Constantine’s futile attempts at small talk.

“You know, there’s a celebration going on inside…”

“I needed some air.”

Constantine sighed, “Son, I know this isn’t the outcome you had hoped for-”

Liam scoffed. “That’s an understatement.”

“-but this is the hand you’ve been dealt. You can’t continue to do this to yourself. It’s not healthy, and people will soon notice. You’ve done well since your ascension to maintain your image, I’ll admit. But excusing yourself from your own engagement functions does not project a good image to those around us.”

“I said I just needed a minute. I fully intend to go back.” Liam bit out.

“I need you to understand that anything and everything you do is now on the world stage, and people notice even the smallest of things. Not only did you abandon your own gathering, but you also left Madeleine in there.”

“And?” Liam snapped.

“And? Do you not see how improper that is? It looks as if you are trying to get away from her, when you should be by her side the entire night. Everyone already knows Madeleine was your third choice, so you have to work harder to maintain your image together! I know you have ill feelings toward her, but she is your fiance now.”

Liam let out an exasperated huff and nonchalantly rolled his eyes. “I know all of this, father.”

“She is a remarkable woman, if you would only give her a chance.”

Liam laughed sardonically. “No, thanks.”

“Liam, you must let that American go! She chose another, and left! It’s time to stop pining like some teenage school girl!”

“You think I don’t know that?!” Liam exclaimed. “I’ve been trying! I can’t control what my heart feels!”

“You had tutors and instructors teaching you how to do so your entire life, Liam. You know how to control yourself, but you’re choosing to let your emotions run rampant! That’s how people get hurt! As soon as you show even the smallest bit of weakness, our enemies will swarm us!”

Liam cut his eyes over to his father. “What are you getting at?”

“I’m trying to project to you the long-term effects of your careless emotional rampages. What you believe to be small and minute, our enemies see vulnerabilities.”

“All because I needed some air? Doesn’t that seem a little extreme?”

“It’s not extreme,” Constantine huffed. “due to the… situation at your coronation, everyone already recognizes your engagement to Madeleine as weakened. If you are excusing yourself from events, individuals will notice and question your union, and ultimately the stability of the Crown. Unrest leads to unruly people, and that leaves us open to coups and various other threats. We know these enemies have never disappeared, but only lay in wait for their opportunity to strike. You can not openly give them that opportunity, Liam!”

“I’m not giving anyone an opportunity for anything.” Liam retorted, “I simply came outside for some air, that’s it!”’

“No, you came out here because you’re in your head over that… woman. Enough is enough, Liam. It’s time you put aside your feelings and focus on the bigger picture.“

“I am focusing on the bigger picture. I’m here, aren’t I?“

Constantine remained silent for a long while to calm himself down. After a few moments, he spoke in a soft tone, “I know this can’t be easy for you, son. But you cannot let these feelings run your life. It will only end badly for you. Lady Riley is gone; it’s been two months. We’re here celebrating your engagement, but you’re outside, alone, thinking about her.”

Liam opened his mouth to respond, but Constantine spoke first. “I’m not trying to be cruel to you, son. But you have to move on…” he trailed off as he put a hand on Liam’s shoulder.

Liam let out a heavy sigh as his annoyance subsided. “I know…” He shook his head. “It would be so much easier if I could hate her, but…”

“She is not worthy of your thoughts, nor your emotional turmoil, Liam. You need to start fresh and move forward with your life. I hope in time it will get easier for you to deal with, but you must remember you are no longer just thinking about yourself. Your country should be foremost in your mind at all times. Stability, above all else.”

Constantine could see Liam weighing their conversation as he stared at the fountain in front of them. He removed his hand from Liam’s shoulder and rubbed the name etched into the bench they sat upon. “Your mother wouldn’t want to see you in such a state. She was always one to encourage you and your…emotional needs… but even she would put a stop to this madness...”

Liam nodded his head, but didn’t respond, as his vocal chords were suddenly incredibly tight. His father patted him on the back, stood from his seat, and walked out of the clearing.

Liam sat and stared into the fountain for a long while in an emotional battle with himself. He knew he had to get it together, even if only for the sake of his country. Too many people needed him to be stable and rational; this was no time to spiral. His country needed a King, and that meant he had to step up and put his personal affairs aside with a smile on his face.

His duty was to Cordonia, not to himself.

And ultimately Liam knew his father was right; it was time to move on, regardless of the ache he felt in his heart. Riley left, not to be heard from since. If she wanted to be found, they would have done so by the time he took the Crown. But she vanished, like a ghost; she packed her things and escaped into the night, fleeing away from him and the future they could have shared.

Liam sighed and stood to approach the fountain in front of him. After fishing through his pocket, he pulled out a coin. He held it in his hands for a moment as he contemplated a wish. He clutched the silver with a white-knuckle grip as he turned his head to the sky above him. The bright full moon and a star filled sky stared back at him as he heaved a heavy breath; a light breeze rustled through the hedges around him and filled the air with a fragrance of roses and peonies.

Every single smile, laugh, and memory Liam had with Riley flashed through his mind; almost as if it were a slideshow made to torment him of happier times. His hopes and dreams for a life with her burned to the forefront, taunting him mercilessly with what could have been, what almost was.

He finally returned his attention back to the fountain in front of him. He breathed in a deep, shaky breath before he whispered, “I wish I could move on,” with tears in his eyes. He tossed the coin into the water and put his hands in his pockets as he watched it sink to the bottom.

Rationally, Liam knew it was silly, but he hoped the wish would grant him the strength he needed to move forward for the greater good of his country.

The battle within still raged onward, despite his futile attempts to push it aside. Liam knew how to control himself with others around, aside from his coronation; but also realized he was powerless to stop his mind from wandering once he took the Crown off for the day.

And with Drake and Olivia around asking questions, he knew he was going to need all the help he could get.

Tags (If you would like to be added or removed, please let me know):

@choicesficwriterscreations @ao719 @txemrn @imashybish @emkay512

@queenrileyrose @kingliam2019 @riseandshinelittleblossom @dcbbw @tessa-liam

@twinkleallnight @amandablink @cordonia-gothqueen @sfb123 @jared2612

@harleybeaumont @bebepac @charlotteg234 @aussiegurl1234 @busywoman

@malblk21 @angelasscribbles @bascmve01 @iaminlovewithtrr @hopelessromanticmonie

@mysticalfangirl

#the royal romance #king liam #liam rys #liam x riley #trr #choices the royal romance #choices trr #trr au #ghosted #choices fic writers creations #pixelberry #choices #prince liam #liam x mc #trr au fanfic

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kitcatttt · 4 months

Text

IMPORTANT.

Welcome to my blog! You can call me Kitcat/Kit/Ayah, and I’m technically multifandom? I use She/Her, but I really don’t care if you use They or He pronouns for me. I’m Panromantic, but I don’t mind minor NSFW talk, but nothing too extreme, and DEFINITELY no NSFW art.

My fandoms:

Jsab/TPC (What I mainly post about)

PA (Project Arrhythmia, a game similar to JSAB)

Undertale/Deltarune

FNAF

Splatoon

P:Muse (Mobile rhythm game)

Super Mario (any game, especially the Mario and Luigi ones though <3)

I forget shit easily, and I’m a little clueless when it comes to certain things, so please tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable! I won’t be mad, that would be stupid to get mad over!

I have a TPC/JSAB discord server! Dm me for the link!

Friend list!!!

@comet--crusaders

@mfbees

@thatonepurpleshape

@happilylazycreator

@gddancefloor

@proxy303

@urtotallysanefriendtetra

@therhythmgalaxy

@jammysheadspace

@ouro-bones

@trash-jsab

@anonymously-night

@mugzymiik

@irrelevaantidiot

My TPC headcanons!!!

Character intros/bio page!!! (WIP)

Important!!!

DNI:

Racist, homophobic, transphobic, or any other discriminatory people

NSFW blogs and pro shippers

CINTAGONISUPSET AND ANY OF HIS SUPPORTERS. YOU KNOW WHY.

Would prefer if you didn’t mention these around me (ships):

TPC Cube x anyone other than Lythorus (Tied to a certain someone, but I’m kinda ok with it as long as it isn’t forced? Idk what would count as forced but Cube x Marcle feels hella forced- and just TPC versions of him. I ship HOPE Cubiris.)

Pyrare x anyone (canonically AroAce)

Circubit x any female character/oc (canonically gay)

Blixer x Wave (don’t know much about the ship, but there’s apparently something wrong with it???? Idfk-)

Spheer x anyone (even if the character is also a child. I don’t want to see them shipped.)

Circumuscle x Cirtunda (Cirtunda adopts Circumuscle in my au, plus I don’t even think they’re close in age anymore. If you find past posts of me shipping them, it was BEFORE S2 Ep 1 of TPC came out, in which my au changed)

Marcle x Squadril, Marcle x Purpex, Squadril x Purpex (Purpex adopted Marcle and Squadril in my au)

Quintagon x Cubic (Literally just DNI. Why is this a ship.)

My favorite sillies:

They’re all ocs (besides Circumsphere and Cintagon, they’re from TPC), so if you want to know more about them, ask!

My other blogs : Notice; A lot of these blogs are being transferred to an alt where they won’t be used as often, or completely discontinued to be rewritten. The ones without the @ are the blogs

@jsab-pa My Art blog!

school-love-chaos A blog themed around yandere Cintagon and Circumsphere! Circumsphere x Hexagram is there, as well as occasional dark themes, such as kidnapping, and self harm.

mistakes-were-made-jsabb A blog themed around Circumcannon’s incident, where he ended up killing his family in a fit of rage. Mentions of self harm, suicide, blood and gore, and schizophrenia.

iris-insanity A blog themed around Iris’ stress overwhelming him to the point where he corrupts. Mentions of blood and gore.

seas-and-skies-alike A roleplay blog for a JSAB oc, Morgan.

old-man-gun A roleplay blog for Cinythe, a version of corrupted Circumsphere.

@corrupted-chaoss A blog for my JSAB au! Is also an ask blog!

@lil-robo-idiot Roleplay blog for my TPC corrupt hero oc, Penl!

Any of the themes mentioned above that may make you uncomfortable are kept to a minimum on this blog, and will be tagged appropriately.

Finally, my sonas!!!!

Ayah, Pluto, and Sen!!! You can make fanart of them, and any of my ocs, anytime!!! NO NSFW ART.

I hope you enjoy your time on my blog!

#Spotify #jsab #just shapes and beats #tpc #the pink corruption #jsab au #pink corruption #jsab askblog #pinned post

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charleslebatman · 6 months

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Aside from everything else like the tweets and "stay mad" dm the fact that Alex is talking to fanpages so much that they know they can ask her things knowing she'll reply is crazy. She should not be encouraging this parasocial behaviour with fans especially ones who have no regard for public safety and put their name and age on their accounts.

She should be a mature grown up woman and understand that this is not okay. She shouldn't be treating these people like they're her friends and gossiping with them even with something as small as telling them where she got a top from.

To me this is a huge sign that she's preparing to go public and start promoting things like crazy because she's doing exactly what Charlotte and Luisa did. Get a little army of impressionable girls, make them think they're important and then profit from their loyalty.

Update:

I'm told in the earpiece that the admin was right about everything, his so-called hater side should have been even more present to stop the right-mindedness coming to break my balls. The french and francophones will be amused I hope, after this post. 😂

On me dit à l’oreillette que l’admin avait raison sur toute la ligne, son côté soi-disant hater aurait dû être encore plus présent pour arrêter que la bien pensance viennent me casser les couilles. Les français et francophones vont être amusés j’espère, après ce post. 😂

But only time will tell, in the meantime she can do what she likes. I don't mind being the token hater at this point. But I'll never tolerate or appreciate a chick who likes tweets like that. And I'm not talking about multiculturalism, since the word racism is apparently impossible with her.

Mais seul le temps nous le dira, en attendant elle peut bien faire ce qu’elle veut. Je veux bien être la hater de service, au point où on en est. Mais on me fera jamais tolérer ou apprécier une meuf qui like des tweets pareils. Et je parle pas du multiculturalisme, vu que le mot racisme est apparemment impossible avec elle.

All the fan accounts can defend her body and soul, I absolutely don’t care. My diplomacy is gone and so are my filters, especially for someone like that. I'm not forgetting the fear, rage, anguish and tutti quanti that my country had, has and will have, during the retirement law period. And she went as nothing and had fun liking it. People want me to be neutral as fuck, and tolerate her. 💀Come on, stop.

Tous les comptes fans pourront la défendre corps et âmes, absolument rien à faire. Ma diplomatie s’est barrée et mes filtres aussi, surtout pour une personne comme ça. J’oublie pas la peur, la rage, l’angoisse et tuti quanti que j’ai eu pendant la période des retraites. Et elle, elle est allée s’amuser à liker ça et on me demande d’être juste et la tolérer. Allez stop.

She's a vile, smart one (and not in a good way), manipulative person with a deceptively moral ethic. Clothes don't make the man (or woman in this case), remember that. And don't even get me started on Luisa (Lando's ex), who had nothing to do with the hatred she got. She was chill, did her modeling in peace. She was a sweetheart. Coming to support Lando, you could tell they were sweetly in love.

C’est une personne vile, maligne (et pas dans le bon sens), manipulatrice avec une éthique faussement morale. L’habit ne fait pas le moine, retenez bien ça. Et venez même pas me parler de Luisa (Lando’s ex), ça n’a rien à voir avec la haine qu’elle s’est prise. Elle était chill, ne se prenait pas la tête, faisait son mannequinat tranquille. Elle était chou. Venir soutenir Lando, on sentait qu’ils étaient doucement amoureux.

Here, lol, it's just the opposite. She's no worse or better than Kelly, they're on the same level, period. Or on the same line anyway, displease some.

Ici, mdr c’est tout le contraire. Elle est pas pire ou mieux que Kelly, elles sont au même niveau point. Ou sur la même ligne en tout cas, n’en déplaise à certains.

I'm sick of looking for my words in english. And I have too many synonyms that I want to use in french, which mean very specific things I can’t find correctly in english. That why I put both. 😂

#anon #mad admin 🫢#so much pleasure to be mad in french 😭#alexandra saint mleux

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imaginespazzi · 4 months

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Hi bestie, UCLA anon here 🙋‍♀️ Bestie, I trust your brain way more than I do mine because I have very minimal creative bones in my body, so I don’t know if I have a lot to offer. I have had scenes play out in my head around this whole UCLA au but I cannot promise they are any good or worth writing about or if they even make sense lmao, but anyway I’ll share them with you and do with it what you like (or completely ignore them cos that works too!):

When Azzi tells Paige: So in keeping with what happened irl, I was envisioning similar circumstances where Azzi tells her parents about her decision (to commit to UCLA) in the car while they’re on their way to surprise Paige in Storrs for her birthday. But this time, instead of breaking the news to Paige over dinner, like she did with her UConn commitment irl, she tells her when it’s just the two of them hanging out in Paige’s room. In the lead up to this, Azzi’s a bit anxious of course to tell Paige and what her reaction might be, but her parents reassure her that even though Paige will be a little dramatic about it at first, she’ll be happy for her cos like best friends for life right? And Azzi agrees that while she knows Paige will be upset for a hot minute, she’ll get over it, and so nothing prepares her for Paige’s actual reaction and the intensity of it! Also, a thought of mine was that Paige asks Azzi whether she’s actually informed ucla of her decision, and when she finds out that Azzi hasn’t actually called ucla yet, she desperately tries everything she can to get Azzi to reconsider (but to no avail obviously).

Their first on-court meeting: I’m thinking it happens in Azzi’s freshman year – a high stakes game, so let’s go with Final 4 lol. Anyway, lots of hype coming into it obviously and to add to that, Azzi was just announced as the Naismith NPOY ahead of this game (just beating out Paige). So yeah, a lot of coverage going into this game and of course half of their interviews coming into this is just people constantly asking them about the other. Lots of banter being thrown around between the two. TENSIONS ARE HIGH AF in the actual game. They both kinda pop off, and everyone’s just being treated to some incredible basketball between the two best players in the country, but the tension is PALPABLE. Anyway, I’m thinking Azzi drains a clutch 3 that puts them ahead with only a few seconds left but Paige one-ups her and manages to drain a buzzer beating shot that wins it for UConn. What happens after… idk I’ll leave that to you lmao. And if Azzi’s at the National Championship game wearing a Paige shirt/jersey (they’re still very much not together), well… SIDE NOTE: I’ve just assumed we’re not giving them any injuries in this fic 😅

Ok so those are the only scenes I’ve had play out in detail in my head lol

Otherwise, I just envision a lot of angst and like we said before… a bit of toxicity hurt nobody (and to quote that other anon one time – we support cheating as long as it’s with each other and not on each other) 🙈.

But yeah, just on that, I don’t know if I really see Paige getting into a relationship during this – like she probably tries but she just keeps comparing everyone to Azzi and of course, no one ever matches up. But she does run through the streets of Storrs for sure. And Azzi hears about a lot of what she gets up to through the grapevine and it definitely feeds into a lot of Azzi’s insecurities.

I think I can see Azzi getting into a relationship with someone while at UCLA (mainly to force herself to try fall out of love with Paige) and of course once she gets into a relationship, jealous Paige comes out full force, like Paige cannot handle it at all. Summer breaks are when it gets especially messy.

Also, idk when you have them ending up together but in my mind, they probably get together during Azzi’s senior year/Paige’s rookie year in the WNBA (mainly cos I love thinking about them in their WAG era).

Ok imma stop there, cos I don’t even know if I’m making any sense anymore and wow I'm sorry this got so long. Like I said babe, feel free to ignore all of this because your ideas I think would be infinitely better. You have no idea how excited I am for this fic – like THANK YOU for giving me a way to live out my roman empire. And please never doubt or worry about whether or not you’ll “meet our expectations” cos bestie, whatever you write will be gold and we will eat it up, TRUST! 🫶

HI FRIEND 🫶🏾

I'm so happy to see you. Lowkey really needed a scene idea for when Azzi tells Paige so thank god for you bestie because I was struggling with that.

Actually, a lot of these things match with my head, except timelines. I'm actually gonna include Paige's acl injury from last year (I'm sorry people) because that's kinda where the fic's gonna begin with her recovering in LA and getting a surprise (not so surprise lol) visitor. And then I was gonna have their first time playing be in the Cayman's and then the F4 this year but basically it was gonna have the same things happen that you described.

Gonna keep the when they end up together a surprise though but it's probably a little later than that. 😈

Thank you for your faith in bestie me, I hope I do your roman empire justice. You just gave me so much motivation to start writing. 💗

#ask #fic talk #UCLA ANON LOML FR <3 #as soon as I have things to do the motivation to write and procrastinate hits and that's an issue

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sugasgrowl · 2 years

Text

Duplicitous [Chapter 5: Mole]

It’s been SO long since I’ve posted a fic, let alone updated for Duplicitous. The last two years have sucked the life out of me, and I’m just now in a place where I’m feeling creatively inspired again. Expect updates for this story, I don’t plan on letting this baby go anytime soon! As I mentioned in a standalone post, I have edited all previous chapters of this story and tweaked some of the plot points. If you want a detailed explanation as to why I did this, please check out my post.

AO3 link: here

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 (coming soon)

Pairing: Jungkook x named OC (Oh Nari), Jooheon x named OC (Oh Nari)

Genre: Mafia au, multigroup (Bangtan and Monsta X focused. A few other idols mentioned.)

Word Count: 15,257

Warnings: Mentions of guns and knives, alcohol use, smoking, Taehyung has a Hard Time, mentions of death, mentions of of gore, toxic relationships, (attempted) emotional manipulation, as usual Jooheon is a massive piece of shit, some moments of fluff :’)

Fic Summary: For the past eight years, Oh Nari has not existed. Instead of being a person, she has been a shadow eternally indebted to the Monsta X crime family for getting her off the streets and away from her murderous father. But when using her skills in covert operations to help take down a rivaling mafia known as Bangtan, information comes to light that changes everything she’s ever known. Loyalties are tested, alliances are formed, and lives are at stake as Nari fights for family, truth, and freedom from the duplicitous life she’s been forced to live.

Chapter Summary: Nari learns life changing information. Teahyung reveals what happened the night of Leah’s death. Things take a turn with Nari and Jungkook.

Nari felt like she was going to throw up the entire flight home.

Paranoia gnawed at her like a starving hound, made her stomach churn as she sat silently curled up in one of the luxurious leather seats of their private jet. Her back was rod straight and her eyes flitted anxiously from face to weary face. No one gave her a second look. Not even Yoongi as he stretched out across his seat, shoes tucked in the compartment under his seat and sock clad feet barely hanging off of the foot rest.

Had he not told anyone after they parted ways to pack up?

Her brows furrowed as she blankly stared at him resting so unperturbed in the beige oasis that was the cabin. Baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. Arms crossed as he dozed. He was a cat stretched belly up in the sun. Relaxed. Unbothered. Why wouldn’t he immediately gather the others and let them know that she was a rat? That she was the mole? The second he had suspicions that anyone else was against them, he would have done that. He did do that. It just didn’t make sen--

She jumped when Jimin slid into the seat across the table from her.

Stunned and wide eyed, she expected him to scream at her. To confront her about everything she knew to be true--that she was the one who unknowingly got Kim killed, that she was the one who should have died instead of Son. That the basis of her entire relationship with Bangtan was built on a foundation of lies. She expected him to yell until he was red in the face and those veins bulged in his forehead and neck and spit gathered in the corners of his mouth. Her heart was a cold, unforgiving hand wrapped around her throat.

Jimin cleared his throat and awkwardly scratched at his nose. Shifting in the seat, he licked his lips and looked at her with the softest eyes she’d ever seen on him. “I...um…”

His nervous chuckle made her blink in surprise. “Well. Tonight was...intense.”

He didn’t know.

“Yeah,” she managed to say with a steady voice. Her small smile felt stiff. Fake. Because it was. “It was definitely something, that’s for sure.”

“And on top of that shit with Monsta X, you busted your face,” he half teased. “At least the meeting with Zhang went well. Now Choi will be off our asses.”

Oh fuck. Oh no. Oh fuck.

“I--”

“Yoongi told us about what happened.” He winced as he shamelessly eyed the cut on her brow and the darkening bruise billowing out around it.

She froze. So they did know? Why would they--

“The timing had to have been perfect for that.”

She hummed with a nod and a plastic smile. Palms sweaty and heart hammering in her chest. “Yeah. It hurt like a bitch, too. What’d...What’d Yoongi say about it?”

Jimin’s angelic face broke out into a full on, blinding smile as he bent one knee and hugged it to his chest. He hadn’t smiled at her like that since she seduced him at the Galaxy. “He said he came to find you in the bathroom and tell you that we were about to get changed and head home, and he opened the door just as you were about to walk out and ended up hitting you. Said he felt like shit, since you just essentially saved Tae’s life and handled that shit on your own.”

So….he lied. For her? Yoongi lied about her injuries? Why? Why would he do that when she deserved to be ripped limb from limb?

Maybe he just wanted to keep things stable until they were on their home turf. She suspected that as soon as they walked through the door, he would expose her for what she was. And as terrified as she was, she couldn’t blame him. Not in the slightest. He trusted her and gave her this opportunity with the hope and confidence that she would make them even more successful than they already were. She betrayed him.

“Which is kind of… well..” Coffee colored eyes fell to the table as his full, pillowy lips curled in an uncertain grin. “Um...I… I’m not good at this, Jesus--”

When he looked back up at her, she couldn’t help but stare back at him curiously with her brows knitted together and her face twisted in confusion.

“Nari…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I think I owe you an apology.”

“Wh...what?” She nearly choked, head tilting slightly as she leaned a bit closer.

“I’ve been a dick to you since you got here.” His grin widened, flustered. If she looked close enough she could’ve sworn his cheeks grew pink, that faint flush of color spreading like strokes of watercolor paints. Like a freshly blooming peony. If she didn’t know him personally, she would never have believed that he had taken the lives of countless men into his own capable hands. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, the Serpent that convinced Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. As dangerous as he was, Nari still couldn’t wrap her mind around it when he looked so cherubic.

His smile faded as he forced himself to swallow the lingering, bitter taste of the anger he tried to hang on to for so long. “Tonight you… I dunno, tonight you stepped in and made sure to diffuse the situation. That’s not something most people in our line of work do. Most people like us just...they just react. Guns blazing, knives out, ready to kill the first person who pushes their buttons.”

He was right, she knew that. She knew that better than anyone. If this very situation happened, if she was still with Monsta X, she would’ve slashed their throats and blown their brains out before they even realized she had moved. She wouldn’t have diffused a goddamn thing.

But she was different now. She cared about Bangtan differently than she had cared about anyone since her mom died. And it was all so fucked. She was so fucked.

“You kept him from getting himself killed,” Jimin murmured, quiet enough that Taehyung wouldn’t hear him from where he was curled up and facing away from everyone. He hadn’t spoken a word since Nari instructed Jimin to take him back to his room, but he most certainly threw her a withering glare as they made their way out of the hotel. “He’s my best friend. I’m...I’m thankful that you stepped in like you did. Anything we would’ve done would have just made things worse.”

He was...thankful?

“Don’t thank me.” She let her fake, brittle mask fall away. Seriousness made her tone heavy. “Really. I just...I was just trying to keep everyone safe. I’ve seen a lot in my time as a hitwoman, and guys like Jooheon just want to raise hell. Wanna keep slicing until they hit that soft spot so they can watch you bleed.”

He shrugged. “Still. We’re safe because you acted fast and restrained Taehyung.”

Nari didn’t want to accept the compliment. She wanted, much to the more logical part of her brain’s dismay, to tell the truth for once. She wanted to own up to her shit. A part of her found comfort in the promise of well deserved punishment. She deserved to be crucified for putting them all in danger. Every day she lived in that house, the day Jooheon would undoubtedly burst through the door with all of Monsta X to slaughter them crept closer and closer.

Maybe they’d do a drive by. Just get it over with.

Unwanted images of their inevitable demise flashed behind her eyelids. Of them crumpled in heaps on the floor, half their skulls missing and their blood shining on the linoleum of Sejin’s like a menacing lake. Jaws slack, skin too pale. Shards of glass and debris scattered around their slowly stiffening bodies.

The mental image of Jungkook’s empty, glassy, unseeing eyes made her sweat.

She forced herself to send Jimin an appreciative nod.

He left without saying much else, but soon Jungkook came and took his place. He settled into the seat across the table from her and reclined back in it, a small and thoughtful smile spreading across his face. Seeing him alive and well calmed her uneasy stomach and racing heart.

He looked exhausted but ethereal. Hair grown far past his cheekbones and messy like he’d just pulled his sweatshirt over his head and run out of his and Hoseok’s hotel room without a second thought. The oversized hoodie hid his sculpted chest and arms, made him look smaller and softer. The ghosts of dark circles were just beginning to show beneath his doe eyes, that all too familiar sleepy pout etched into his rosebud lips.

He didn’t praise her. Didn’t comment on the damage to her face. He was just there, a warm and familiar comforting presence. He knew her well enough to know that she didn’t want to talk in that moment. But she could tell from the tightness around his eyes that he wanted to check on her. He wanted to ask a million questions, wanted to know what really happened. If she was okay. But he didn’t. He simply passed her a bottle of water before laying back to stretch out just enough to prod her knee once with his Pokemon-themed sock covered foot.

When he closed his eyes, relief flooded Nari’s chest at the silence that settled like fresh fallen snow. She didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to be praised or thanked. She wished Yoongi would have told them the truth about her. She wished Jungkook knew. She wished everyone knew. She hated not knowing what game he was playing.

But at least she was prepared to lose. She could handle not knowing the game, as long as Bangtan won.

The air in Yoongi’s office was frigid. Stagnant. Jooheon’s office was cold--icy even. But it was like the unwavering chill of permafrost. Constant. Yoongi’s cold was a deadly frost sweeping across the world while you slept.

She sat in his desk chair, heart flopping helplessly against her ribcage. Her hands tucked themselves between her bouncing legs.

She barely had time to put her bag on her bed before he was knocking on her door and telling her to follow him down to his office. His tone was...unreadable. Not angry. Not clipped. If anything, he sounded almost gentle. No tightness around the eyes. He was just Yoongi.

He leaned back against his desk, towering over her and making her feel microscopic.

Being inside that room with him felt like being inside a vacuum. Soundless, breathless. Even her thoughts felt too loud in the thundering silence as they stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak.

He didn’t. He watched. Calculated. Nari could feel him dismantling her bit by bit, wearing her down. Taking her apart, taking notes, and putting the pieces back where he found them. She could feel it as if he were doing it with his own hands. She was a specimen to be studied.

“Why aren’t I in the warehouse right now?” She pressed, quiet but fierce. She couldn’t take the silence any longer. His smirk sparked heat in her stomach, annoyance she couldn’t stomp out with the toe of her boot. “Why haven’t you gathered everyone yet? Why am I not dead yet?”

“Do you want to be?” He tilted his head, brows lifting beneath his fringe. A glimmer of amusement shone in his onyx eyes.

She couldn’t fight the scowl curling at her mouth. “I’d rather get this over with than drag it out. We both know what you saw--”

“What did I see, Nari?” He crossed his ankles and settled into the dark wood of his desk. All too comfortable with this game.

Her lips pressed into a tight line. She didn’t want to say it. Before that moment, she expected him to just drag everyone to the warehouse and wipe her off the planet. She hoped for that.

Her jaw clenched. “What do you want me to say, Yoongi? That I got drilled by Jooheon two minutes before you came in? That we had sex, that--that I’ve--”

“That was more than just sex,” he dumbfoundedly scoffed, satoori dripping from his every word. His eyes narrowed. “He nearly fucking killed you, you idiot.”

She ran a hand through her hair, eyes widening in disbelief as she gestured wildly. “Why does that matter? Why does that matter to you when I’ve been the mole this entire time--?!”

“I know,” he gritted out, glancing at the office door. “I’ve known since the beginning that you were a mousy piece of shit, you rat. How stupid do you think I am?”

She recoiled. Had she been that transparent? Was she that bad at her job?

He chuckled, eyes tearing away from hers as he scratched at his jaw. “Surprised?”

“How did you know?”

He shrugged. “I knew you wouldn’t just show your face and expose yourself after all that time unless there was an ulterior motive behind it. I was curious. So I took a shot in the dark and waited to see what it hit.”

Her mouth was cotton and sand. “You knew from the beginning?”

“I had my suspicions. They were just confirmed when you went and met Jooheon. Not to mention, my desk chair was out of place after your little attempt at digging up information.”

She silently cursed his perceptive eye.

“You had me tailed.” She all but growled, fingers digging into the arms of his chair.

His smug grin made her bristle. “I tailed you myself. If my suspicions were wrong, I didn’t want to cause any tension or distrust with the guys. Couldn’t risk anyone talking and word reaching the rest of the group. But I was right. As usual.”

Months. He’d known for months. She’d been tiptoeing around like a fucking fool, and the whole time he knew everything. He kept up the whole fucking act, even killed one of his own men for no reason. Kept his closest men in the dark.

A tense, angry quiet settled over them as she struggled to smother the prideful work ethic throwing a tantrum in her mind.

“Why didn’t you kill me?” Her nostrils flared as she ran her hand down her face.

“Because of how you reacted to killing Son.”

“That was three days ago. I’ve been here for months. Why the fuck would you kill Son if you knew it was my fault?”

His cocky expression faded and melted into an odd twist to his pink mouth. His gaze dropped to the floor as he unfolded his arms and gripped the edge of the desk. “Son had been stealing from me and talking shit for I don’t even know how long. I’m not happy about it, but it had to be done. Just a two birds, one stone kinda situation.”

He took a moment and let the truth settle in their bones. His eyes were staring past the office and into memories of when he first met Nari. “I wanted to keep an eye on you. See what Jooheon was planning. And those other fuckers. My gut told me you’d change alliances.”

“Why?”

“Because of Jungkook,” he replied, a frustrated edge to his voice. “Because every time he’s part of the equation, you let your guard down. Because the more time you spend around him, the more human you get.”

She simmered. Furious. She did not. She was more professional than that. She’d never let a man sway her alliances.

But she did. She did with Jooheon, and now she was doing the same thing with Jungkook. Was she really that easy to manipulate? Was she that easily driven by men?

No. Jooheon manipulated her. Jungkook softened her. There was a difference. Yoongi was right. Jungkook was a weakness, she’d known that from the beginning. He changed her. They changed her.

Yoongi shook his head slightly, sucking on his teeth with a hiss. “I am surprised that the Dragon has kept such a distance from you, though. As much money as he’s poured into your training, I’d assume he would be on your ass.”

Nari wheezed with a punched out breath. The mere mention of his name made her lungs tighten. He was the noose around her neck, cinching tighter with every wretched memory replaying through her mind.

The blood drained from her face in a sickening chill. “What?”

He looked at her from the corner of his eye and took in her rattled appearance. “You mean you don’t know?”

“Know what?” Her voice was a breathy, shaky rasp.

She was standing in her living room again. Years prior. Heart skipping and fingers trembling and numb as she looked on at her father. Everything in slow motion. Everything frozen, hands of the clock hovering motionless in stunned fear. She was looking on at her mother, icy, deadly gunmetal kissing the pale skin of her forehead. Her father’s mouth twisted into a wolfish smile. It was all happening again. She was helpless--almost eighteen and powerless. Defenseless. Everything painted red.

The low rumble of Yoongi’s voice made her snap back to reality, sweat prickling at the back of her neck and her breaths ragged.

He made his way over and reached over her to log in to his desktop. The blue light of the monitor illuminated his face as he typed away, eyes tense with concentration. He clicked on the file. The password protected file.

After typing in the code, he tapped on the screen with a finger and looked down at her. “You mean to tell me you didn’t know about this?”

A picture. Two men lounging at a club, both with drinks in front of them. Clearly in a deep discussion as dancers and scantily clad women traipsed around with trays of more drinks. There was no denying that it was Jooheon and her father. Even if it was dark and a little grainy, she knew those faces anywhere.

It made her stomach twist.

“When was this?” She could hear the clench of her jaw in her voice.

Yoongi crossed his arms. “The night before Kim was found dead.”

No. No. This couldn’t be happening.

“I don’t believe you.”

He knew? Knew all along that it was Jooheon who fucked over their arms deal. Knew what she was. Knew her plan.

If it was true, if Jooheon was working with her father, it made perfect sense as to why he would risk her life and take out Kim. Her father couldn’t have more competition.

He snorted and clicked to the next image. The same club, but a different day according to their change in outfits. His eyes stayed on the screen. “The day after the bank robbery.”

The next photo was in a different location. The very park where she and Jooheon had met. The quality of the picture was startlingly clearer than the previous ones taken from security camera footage--clearly one of Yoongi’s men had followed them and hidden somewhere to take them. “The day before we met at the Galaxy.”

She wanted to throw up. That was the day that she and Jooheon had their last night together. The night where he took her to that lavish Italian restaurant and fucked her senseless when they got home. When she let him touch her and kiss her and feel her. She worshiped him that night, and he let her. He let her do it after meeting with her father, knowing what that monster did to her. To her mother. Not a flicker of guilt or remorse on his face.

Yoongi clicked through the contents of the file. Photos, call logs, text messages, even bank statements. All available thanks to none other than Kim Taehyung, Nari guessed. Her father had been paying Jooheon off for years.

The last photo in the album--the first photo, chronologically--made her eyes burn.

The same Italian restaurant that Jooheon often took her to. Her father sat across from him, his hands steepled in front of his face. He always did that when he talked business.

The date was stark white against the low lighting of the photo. January 15, 2014. That was just a few short days after she fled to Korea. Maybe two weeks after she turned eighteen. She was still on the streets then.

“Do you really think it was coincidence that someone in the same field as your father just happened to find you and recruit you?” Yoongi lowly said, eyes hard and glinting with a look Nari couldn’t quite put her finger on. “He’s power hungry and greedy--he wanted as much of a guarantee for success as possible. What better way to do that than to become an illusionist? Watch one hand while the other slits your throat.”

She couldn’t move. Frozen. “What are you saying? Why do you even have all of this?”

“I’m saying that Monsta X has been the face of your father’s operation. Jooheon’s men take the fall when things go south, while your father’s men do the heavy lifting behind the scenes.” He enunciated every word, every syllable, like he wanted each one to cut. “Monsta X is the face, and Lotus is the fucking brain.”

The world spun. Tilted harsh and unforgiving before her very eyes. She’d been working for her father since she was eighteen years old. She’d been killing for him. Stealing for him. Committing sins--unforgivable, nightmare inducing sins that had begun haunting her more and more after her conscience arose from its dormancy. All she’d been doing was his bidding, following his orders. Jooheon was merely the messenger. Everything she’d known was a lie. Everything she said she would never be, she became overnight.

“Don’t worry. No one knows that you’re the Dragon’s daughter but me.” Yoongi rolled up his sleeves. “I’ve been accumulating this information for years because I knew there would be a time when Lotus would try to eliminate us. Bangtan hasn’t always been a threat, but now we are. And clearly your father predicted that, and wanted someone he could train specifically to get rid of us. Taehyung hacked what I told him to hack, found everything I asked him to look for. But I made sure to keep you out of the eye of the others. Because I knew they would want to kill you. You know Jimin and Hoseok. They’d want to find a way to kill you before you ever snuck in. I thought it would be best to wait. Because if we waited, we could either turn you and use your information, or I could kill you myself.”

Yoongi knew what she was and plotted her death in case he couldn’t turn her. He manipulated her, too. But his manipulation didn’t feel like Jooheon’s. It didn’t feel like the cold, biting prick of a blade edging her towards a certain way of thinking.

Her mind drifted back to the day that Jooheon found her. He strolled up to her shivering body with purpose. On a mission. Somehow, he seemed taller than all the bright and shining buildings towering around them. His confidence was an entity of its own, added what felt like ten feet to his height. Power radiated from him in waves, and she was immediately awestruck.

Back then she thought he chose her because he had been watching, because he thought she was everything he needed--that Monsta X needed. It seemed too good to be true, too perfect even then. Him with his designer suits and shining shoes that reflected the helpless, cornered girl that she was in the glint of their leather. But she never let herself think about the truth that stared her in the face. Because that meant that there was no escaping him. There was no freedom, no getting out of this lifestyle. There would be no peace. Her father would always find her.

Jooheon lied to her. There was no love. There had never been a relationship. Every single moment with Lee Jooheon was a ploy to manipulate her and further her father’s agenda. For money, for power. The few good memories, although sterile even when she was blissfully ignorant, were lies. The words he whispered to her as they made love were poison meant to weaken her enough to comply without question. The reason she had been so tightly woven in Jooheon’s clutches was because she was meant to be.

Nari’s gaze was focused on Yoongi, unwavering. Hardening with each passing second. “So you’re not killing me?”

“Not unless you ask me to,” he softly muttered.

“What does all of this mean for my position in Bangtan?” The almost excited, furious sharpness to her tone made his lips curl at the corners.

“Well,” he smirked, chuckling with a slight tick of his head. “How committed are you to eliminating this threat, Nari?”

Her eyes glowed. “I want to watch the light leave Lee Jooheon’s eyes.”

Yoongi grinned then. Pride showed through the subtle cracks in his nonchalant exterior. “Then none of this will affect your position in Bangtan.”

He pushed off the desk and headed towards the door.

“Yoongi,” she called. When he stopped in his tracks, fingers wrapped around the knob, she bit back a cold half-smile. “I’m pulling the trigger.”

Jungkook lured Nari into the soft glow of his bedroom before she could slink past undetected. All it took was the soft, honeyed way he called her name as she left Yoongi’s office for her to follow the sound and shut the door quietly behind her. Sora greeted her excitedly at the door, tail wagging and eyes bright. Her happy bark got Jungkook’s attention more than Nari’s presence. When he looked up from his phone, concern creased his brow, made his gaze heavy as his kind eyes locked on her bruising face.

There were a few beats of stunned silence as she stood, awkward and still overwhelmed from her conversation with Yoongi, in the middle of his room. He looked like he had so much to say, so much he wanted to ask. Understandable, considering she truly did look like she’d been chewed up and spit out.

Although there was no malice in his stare, it still made Nari’s stomach dip with guilt. The weight of it was a coin free-falling down a well, finally breaking the water’s surface at the bottom with a light plunk. She lied to him for people who didn’t give a shit about her, for people who just saw her as a pawn. For people who wanted him and the rest of Bangtan dead. By the look in his eyes, it was obvious that he knew the excuses for her injuries were less than truthful. He deserved better. She wanted to be better.

As she broke the frozen atmosphere and slid into bed next to him, he pulled back the covers to make room. As always, he was a human furnace. She didn’t realize she was cold until she was pressed thigh to thigh with him and nearly melting.

He was quiet, contemplative. Despite being a grown man, there was something childlike about the way he was sitting cross-legged in the sheets and how he ruffled his dog’s golden fur as she jumped onto the bed to nudge his face with her head. Strong, tattooed arms hugged a pillow to his chest. Something about it made her chest ache in a way she didn’t know how to process.

Curling up on her side and peering up at him through her lashes, she bit back a chuckle at the look of absolute worry plaguing his handsome features. “Stop it.”

“I’m not doing anything.” His slow, lopsided, lazy grin seemed to make the world stop turning. “I’m just thinking.”

“A lot of good that’s done us tonight.”

“Does it hurt?” It was immediate. Like he’d been holding it in for hours. Like it had been gnawing at him.

She doubted he meant the sting of betrayal. The reminder of her wound had the raw, aching skin throbbing as she nodded. “Yeah. Jin hooked me up with a couple of little stitches at the hotel before we left. Nothing serious, I’m fine. Just have a headache is all.”

His silence was anything but quiet, Nari could nearly hear how quickly his thoughts flipped through questions like a revolving door.

“Are you okay?” He was almost hesitant to ask. After seeing her handle pain, sadness, and discontent in a variety of ways, his least favorite way to see her was masking that pain. He knew she was hiding something, he just wasn’t sure what. “Tonight was scary.”

Humming and scratching at her nose, she avoided his gaze and instead traced the ink that decorated his arm. “Of course I’m okay.”

“Yoongi didn’t just hit you with the door.” Doe eyes flickered to her injury. “Did he?”

“Why do you wanna know?” She joked. “Jealous? I mean, I get it. He’s a good looking guy. I’d probably want to be me, too, if I were in your shoes. Beautiful man all worried and in a tizzy over me.”

His lack of response made the smile melt off of her face and twist into a sour purse. Her fingers never stilled, still trailing along his tattoos. “No. He didn’t.”

“What happened?” His voice was soft, but there was a hidden edge--something in the vicinity of fear, maybe just west of it. When she didn’t respond, he wrapped his fingers around hers to deprive her of the one distraction offered her when his face was so damn close to hers. “Nari?”

She couldn’t tell him, not yet. Not without Yoongi by her side, anyway. Not only was it risky because she was unsure of how he would react or if he would tell everyone else, she was also ashamed. The longer she spent away from Monsta X, the more she realized that she didn’t like the person she had become. The things she’d done were terrible even for those in the mafia. Yes, Jooheon and her father had done a fair bit of work to instill fear when people heard her name, but she had to hold herself accountable for the sins she willingly agreed to commit for the same reason.

Mouth curling into a scowl, she tried to hold back the frustration in her tone. “Why do you want to know? Why do you care, anyway? I’m a big girl, Jungkook, I don’t need you to worry over me all the time.”

Hurt toed along the edges of his expression. The sharpness that hardened his sweet voice made her shrink--she didn’t like seeing someone so good verge on anger because of her. “Why do I care? Nari, we’re friends! Of course I care about you, I-- I know you’re an adult, I know you’re strong and independent. I admire those things about you, but you shoulder all of this shit alone and don’t ever talk about it. I care about you, whether you like it or not.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off in an irritated snap. “Let me finish.”

“We’ve shared a bed together, we’ve talked, we’ve gotten close, hell, I’ve even held you as you cried. I care if you’re hurt, and I care if someone hurt you. You don’t have to like it, that’s fine. But you can’t stop me from being scared shitless when you randomly come back from the bathroom after all that tonight looking like a battered housewife. I gave you space and didn’t say anything on the plane because I knew you needed time, but if-- I mean, did Yoongi--? No one laid a hand on you on that terrace, so something must’ve happened--”

He cared. He truly, genuinely cared. He was kind, and funny, and warm. If she was a snake, then he was the sun protecting her from the creeping cold. He wanted to protect her--even put himself in danger to keep her safe tonight. He was so beautiful, and finally she realized love didn’t have to hurt. It didn’t have to be manipulation and hollow promises.

Her body acted on its own accord. His voice faded to a startled and confused silence when she sat up to be nose to nose with him. Heart galloping in her chest, she hesitantly touched his cheek. When she spoke, her voice was shaking. “Would you still care about me if I kissed you?”

Blinking, his eyes widened. His voice cracked, and had Nari not been so nervous, she might’ve laughed. “I said you couldn’t stop me from caring about you.”

How long had she been wanting to do this? Since that night at the Galaxy? How long had she been ignoring the way Jungkook made her feel just because she was scared that he would treat her like Jooheon did? Thinking back, she supposed part of it was that she was scared of leaving the life she was led to believe was good for her and that she had always known.

Heart hammering, she slowly leaned forward until the tickle of their lips brushing sent a faint chill down both of their spines. The smell of his eucalyptus shampoo and remnants of the cologne that clung to him made her let out a shaky breath. Nerves electric.

Jungkook’s large, warm hand slowly slid up her side, thumb stroking comfortingly through her shirt. If Nari didn’t know better, she would say that he was a little shaky. The tip of his nose grazed hers, eager but hesitant. Waiting for her lead. Almost pleading. Gentle, respectful as all of his touches were and had always been. Wordlessly, he gave the faintest nod, a breath fanning out across her skin, as if he was both giving permission and begging for her touch.

Taking the plunge halted time. His lips were warm and inviting, the soft sigh of relief against her mouth had them both melting into each other. His lip ring’s biting chill stole her breath away. The kiss was tender and slow, like both of them were scared of popping the bubble and overstepping.

Nari was falling. Plummeting through space and time. Finally getting to taste him, to let him in, had her chest aching and twinging. She prayed that he meant what he said and that he wouldn’t hate her after it was over. That he would stay.

Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore, the hesitancy and restraint making his nerves hum with static. Both hands slid up Nari’s arms to cup her face, to hold her closer. To kiss her deeper.

His tongue teased along the seam of her lips, drew a shudder from her and made her heart stutter in her chest. Nari felt the thrum of his pulse beneath her palm when she rested her hand on his neck--racing. Nervous. Excited. He was excited to kiss her, something so gentle made him weak.

Something about it made her feel like she was on fire, threatened to consume her.

Their breaths fanned out across each other’s skin as she pulled back just enough to let her eyes flicker up to his, reeling.

He was pink in the cheeks and ears, eyes somehow both soft and glowing as he looked down at her with pupils blown. Caught between warmth and a sensual pull, an air about him that seemed to shift as her taste lingered on his tongue. He looked sinful, but the purest form of it. Man’s first sin--curiosity. Temptation. Not tainted and corrupted by malice.

Shoulders shaking in a breathless chuckle, he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His voice was a low murmur. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Nari took a deep breath, thumb lightly running along his pink lower lip as she gathered her bearings. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to, Jungkook.”

Before he could speak, she pressed her lips to his again in a soft, lingering kiss. She pulled away with a wet smack and gave a small smile when his brows furrowed, gaze confused. “I’m okay. That’s all that matters.”

He didn’t move when she got up and made her way out, didn’t say goodnight. Mentally, she swore that she would tell him everything as soon as it was safe.

Nari couldn’t sleep. At the third hour of trying to find shapes and faces in the shadows thrown across the ceiling, she sat up with a sigh. Although it was the witching hour, the house seemed to hold its breath in wait for something. As if anticipating, uneasy. As if the house itself couldn’t find itself able to sleep, either.

On top of things changing between her and Jungkook, knowing that her role in Monsta X and Lotus was what got Leah killed had guilt slithering in her stomach like a bed of snakes. Seeing Taehyung so broken and emotional felt like he was accusing her directly. Of course, she knew that that wasn’t a productive way of thinking. She didn’t know. Jooheon and her teammates kept that from her in an attempt to hide the truth--that Nari was working for her own father. If she had found out…

She thought it over for a moment as she sat staring blankly into her moonlit bedroom.

What would she have done if she found out? Would she have done anything at all? Before starting this job, she was so blinded by Jooheon’s manipulation that she would have believed anything he said. A part of her questioned if she would’ve just stayed and continued to work for her father with no question.

Until Jooheon and her father were rotting, she supposed she still technically worked for her father. She always would, unless she put bullets in their brains. Her father would find her, always. She remembered what happened to her mother when he found out she was trying to leave him.

Kissing Jungkook was a mistake. Getting too involved with him like that just put him in even more danger, it was entirely selfish.

Nari threw her legs over the side of the bed and shivered at the bite of cold hardwood under her feet. If she wasn’t going to sleep, maybe she could at least binge something on Netflix. Maybe get her mind off of the memory of Jungkook’s lips on hers and the way his hands felt on her skin.

But when she slowly, quietly padded into the hallway, she halted in her tracks and stood staring at the sliver of light flickering underneath Taehyung and Namjoon’s door. Normally at this time of night, they would both be asleep--TV acting as a nightlight to protect the younger of the two from the demons under his bed. But the tone of the voices, the lilt in them, the slight waver, made her chest clench in a painful vice.

Taehyung was crying.

Creeping closer to the door and trying to ignore Cheddar happily rubbing between her legs, the wood met her temple with a cool and gentle kiss as she listened in. The voices were muffled, but she could still make out what they were saying.

“Taehyung, it wouldn’t have solved anything. You know that,” Namjoon’s deep voice rumbled.

He sniffled, voice ragged and shaking. “I kn-know. I know. But I just-- He took everything from me. It’s just s-so unfair-- Why-- Why does he get to live when Leah’s f-fuckin’--”

He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence before he was taking in a gasp of a breath.

A moment of silence passed before Namjoon spoke again, quieter this time. “You knew what you were signing up for when you joined Bangtan. She knew what she was signing up for when she stayed with you. We made it clear from the jump that there’s always the chance of shit hitting the fan. You remember that conversation.”

“Yeah, but--”

“There’s nothing you could’ve done,” Namjoon insisted slowly, enunciating every word. “There’s nothing you can do. What’s done is done. Killing Jooheon won’t bring Leah back.”

It won’t bring her back. But it’d feel good. It’d make Taehyung feel good to sink the sharpest blade he could find into that motherfucker’s chest. To scoop his eyes out with a melon baller. To crush his skull with Jimin’s bat. To make him pay.

Nari knocked on their door before she could stop herself.

The soft murmurs halted for a few brief moments. Namjoon opened the door a crack, sharp eyes meeting hers. The half second of silence was deafening.

“Can I talk to him?” She nearly whispered, chest aching.

The nod came after a few heady, thoughtful seconds. His voice was but a low plea breathed out into the dark hallway. “He needs to know that it wasn’t his fault. I...I’ve been telling him. But he needs to hear it from someone else.”

He slipped past her and made his way downstairs without another word.

Taehyung stared at her through the open door, puppy eyes glassy and lips curled over his teeth to hide the way his chin quivered. He looked like a little boy then, broken and in desperate need of reassurance. Like if she even looked at him wrong he would start sobbing. She didn’t even blame him, she would do the same if something happened to the people she loved.

Out of fear of the tremble in his voice, she walked in and shut the door behind her without asking for permission. Neither of them said anything, neither really meeting each other’s eyes as she swayed on her feet. Something in her wouldn’t let her move farther than standing in the middle of the room.

“I’m sorry.” The remorse in her voice was thick enough to cut with a knife.

He didn’t look at her. Just sniffed and wiped at his nose with the back of his hand. She almost didn’t hear his response. “Don’t be.”

She bounced a little when she sat down on his mattress, eyes locked on the creases and hills in the twisted sheets.

His eyes were somewhere else, elbows propped on his knees and hands dangling between his thighs. The long wispy curtain of his lashes shone with remnants of tears, lips still swollen and nose red in the flickering glow of the TV. Undoubtedly, he was thinking back. Thinking back to earlier in the night when he first caught sight of that inked dagger on the inside of Jooheon’s wrist. The one that scarred her hip. She wondered what horrors that sight dragged from his memory.

“You know that’s not who I am,” he murmured, quiet and heavy from the weight of his heart. His chocolate eyes gave her a quick glance. “‘M not the kinda guy who...who loses his shit. I don’t know what happened--”

“You got angry.” Her smile was miniscule, just the subtle lift of the corner of her mouth.

Taehyung nodded, overgrown waves falling in his eyes. Clearing his throat, he finally looked at her with eyes that swam with hurt.

“I know this is weird.” He tiredly gestured to Namjoon’s side of the room.

Neither side was impeccably clean, both had a few pieces of dirty laundry strewn across the floor. Taehyung’s side was mostly littered with the clothes from that very night, but the older man’s side of the room was a bit more untidy and lived in.

Namjoon had a mini trash can by his desk that overflowed with crumpled pieces of paper--all failed ideas or angry, emotional letters to people that would never actually be sent. Jungkook once told Nari that was something Namjoon did. Writing letters to people who he was on bad terms with. He said he’d never been a violent guy, but being wrongfully accused of rape and murder and serving time for a crime you didn’t commit changes a person.

Namjoon wrote letters to cope with his anger so he wouldn’t lash out. Tae bottled his up.

Adam’s apple bobbing, he forced away the lump in his throat. “I just-- I couldn’t s-stay in that room. Couldn’t sleep in there. Had...had night terrors ‘n shit.”

She put a comforting hand on his knee. “I don’t blame you. I’d be the same way.”

He was barely hanging on, close enough to tears that they slipped over his waterline and dripped from his eyelashes despite how hard he tried to keep his composure. Large, tan hands trembled as he clasped them tight.

All Nari wanted to do was make it right. She just wanted to right the wrong she helped take part in causing--she wanted justice for Tae. For Leah. And she would get it. At first, all she wanted to do after hearing the truth about Jooheon and her father was kill Jooheon herself. But after seeing and hearing the heartbreak that crippled Taehyung, all she wanted to do was ensure that he got revenge. She wanted to make sure that he got his chance to kill the monster that murdered the love of his life.

“It’s not your fault, Tae,” she softly said, sliding a hand down his forearm to rest on top of his clasped hands. “You couldn’t have changed anything about how it would’ve ended.”

And that was truth. Both her father and Jooheon were unstoppable forces when it came to the family business. If her father told Monsta X to kill Leah, she was dead. There was no saving her.

“You d-don’t know that,” he whimpered, eyes sliding shut and head falling forward so his chin nearly kissed the warm, honey skin of his chest. His phoenix tattoo curled and rippled along the curve of his shoulder with the clench in his muscles as he moved, bright reds and oranges and yellows muted from the glow of late night infomercials. The feathers seemed to brush his collarbone.

“I do know that.”

“No you don’t,” he hiccuped, pitifully wiping at the wetness streaming down his cheeks. “You w-weren’t there-- You don’t know what happened.”

Her throat tightened, eyes threatening to burn.

He took a deep, shaky breath and lifted his head to look at her. “I’d b-been looking into other crime families for Yoongi and j-just giving him all the information I found. I guess I got too close because--”

His handsome face twisted then, too overcome with emotion to finish his sentence.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” She rubbed at his back with what she hoped was a comforting touch. His skin was cool under her palm, soft and smooth. Part of her wondered if she should get him a blanket, but before she could go looking for one, he spoke again.

“That night Leah and I were the only two at h-home. It was so rare, y’know? There were e-eight people living in one house, so she wanted to take advantage of it. I was trying to finish up some work on my laptop downstairs, and she’d been begging me to just slow down ‘n spend time with h-her--” His voice broke at the end of the word, chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath.

Nari could practically see it. The sweet, angelic face of the woman in those pictures, smiling and teasing Tae for working too hard. Maybe pestering him as she tried her best to get his attention. She could see Taehyung’s grin as he batted her away, hear the whine in his voice when he insisted that he was almost finished. For her to be patient. The epitome of domestic love, albeit in an atypical situation.

Taehyung’s shoulders shook as he tried to compose himself enough to speak. “I f-finally caved ‘n followed her upst-stairs. But when we got to the top there w-was this-- Fuck--”

He knotted his hands in his hair, elbows back on his knees as he sobbed at the memories replaying in his mind.

“There was a crash. They just— came r-right through the door.” He sat up, glassy eyes meeting hers in a desperate plea to understand. “I told her to h-hide in the closet-- I thought she’d be safe, Nari! I t-told her to h-hide-- In our cl-oset-- So I g-got my gun-- ‘N-- ‘N I went to see what it was.”

Taehyung’s bone rattling inhale made tears spring up in her eyes. “The guys always tol’ me not to c-call the cops if somethin’ happened, s-so I didn’t. W-why didn’t I j-just call the f-fuckin’ cops--?!”

“Tae…” She reached up to gently wipe at his tears, the slightly stubbly skin of his face burning hot. “You just did what they told you to do--”

Long fingers tightly wrapped around her wrists where she tended to his wet cheeks. “S-someone-- One of ‘em f-fuckin’ pistol whipped me in the back of the head when I turned the c-corner. I just fell like a useless sack of shit, I-- I couldn’t even defend myself--”

“You shouldn’t have had to,” she hushed.

He broke then, a sob wracking his body so hard that he folded forward and rested his forehead on her shoulder. Although he was much broader and larger than her, he seemed so small in that moment. Almost fragile, like he needed to be protected.

She wound her arms around him and squeezed. Maybe if she held him hard and long enough, she could pull his broken pieces back together. Maybe she could ease the ache.

“I w-woke up-- Tied to my desk ch-chair, ‘n they--” She could barely understand him, his sobs nearing full on wails. The pain of remembering was too much, that unforgiving, sharp, and slicing bite of nightmarish memories flashing behind his eyelids in startling clarity.

Long fingers fisted her shirt as he tried to anchor himself, hot tears soaking through the fabric and stuttering breaths huffing out against the skin of her neck. “They m-ade me watch--”

Her blood went cold. Having to watch them kill her. It wasn’t unheard of for that to be a method of punishment for Jooheon--for the mafia in general--but the idea of Taehyung being on the receiving end was like being dunked in an ice bath. She had never taken part in something like that simply because Jooheon wanted her to remain faceless, so she could leave no witnesses. But she would have if he’d told her to. She would’ve done it gladly.

Her stomach twisted.

“Shhhh,” she softly hushed, easing them down to lay on his mattress. Guilt gnawed at her. Had her palms and mouth sweating. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know it hurts--”

He gasped for breath through a slick of tears, drool, and snot. “She was screamin’-- She wouldn’t stop screaming, and they-- There-- Was so much blood-- ‘N-- I couldn’t do anything! It’s my f-fault--!”

She could so vividly see it. The flash of terror in both Tae’s and Leah’s eyes as they realized what was about to happen. She could hear the wet, sickening schlump of Jooheon’s knife as it sank into her flesh. The audible slice of skin, the splatter of blood on the hardwood. She could see in her mind’s eye the way blood would’ve splattered across Taehyung’s face. His lips, nose, and cheeks marred with the stain of his lover’s blood. The way Leah’s face would pale as thee seconds ticked by. She could see the way Jooheon’s eyes would’ve been shining behind his mask, glowing bright and lethal.

She could see it, because she had committed so many sins similar to what was done to Leah. She had spilled so much blood on her own.

“Taehyung, listen to me,” she muttered as she pulled back to hold his burning face. “Look at me. Breathe with me, I need you to listen.”

The wheeze of his struggle to slow his quick and uneven breathing was a deep, phlegmy rattle. When the rise and fall of his chest somewhat matched Nari’s, she nodded at him and held his watery and defeated gaze.

“Good. Now listen to me.” Her tone was almost stern, that slight urgency there to hopefully edge him out of the spiral he was in. “What happened to Leah was horrible. It was absolutely horrific, and I can’t even imagine how guilty you must feel. But there is nothing on this Earth that you could have done to stop it.”

His round eyes welled with tears, swollen and pouting lips parted to speak before she put a gentle finger up to silence him. “Jooheon wanted Leah dead. He wanted to hurt you. You were just doing your job. He decided he was going to kill her to get to you, and you and I both know nothing would’ve changed his mind or stopped him. This is not your fault.”

His lower lip quivered, brows slanting as he took a moment to sniffle through a whimper caught in the back of his throat.

“Do you understand?” She asked.

He nodded.

“I need you to say it out loud.”

“No.”

“Say it.” She pressed, adamant.

The heavy pause between them was filled only by the quiet background noise from the TV and Taehyung’s hesitant squirms.

“Taehyung.” He looked up at her through a thick spray of lashes, sheepish. “Say it. It’s not your fault.”

“‘S not my fault,” he murmured, gaze falling to the sheets.

She fought to meet his eyes. “Louder.”

He pulled his face from her hands with a turn of his head. His mouth twisted in what was a weak, angry, heartbroken snarl as he furiously wiped at his face. “It’s not my fault, okay?! I get it! I know there was nothing I c-could’ve done. But, goddammit! I miss her!”

There he was.

She understood. Blaming himself was easier than to just accept the fact that nothing could have been done. That Leah’s tragic fate was inevitable. She probably understood more than most. She still blamed herself for her mother’s death. For what she prayed she could prevent happening to Bangtan. It was easier than digesting the idea that she was set up to fail from the beginning. That her poor mother was destined to die the moment she stayed with a kingpin.

Sitting up on her elbow, she nodded slowly. “I know you do. And you’re going to miss her every day. But I’m making a promise to you right now, Tae. You’re going to get even. I don’t know how. But I’m going to make it happen.”

His dark eyes hardened. “I’m gonna be pissed if you break that promise.”

“I would never.”

Flopping onto his back, he looked up at the ceiling and fisted his swollen eyes with a groan. “Seeing him tonight… Realizing it was Monsta X who did it… For the longest time, I thought knowing would give me closure. But all it really did was piss me off.”

“Knowing is just knowing. Knowing doesn’t do anything,” she sighed, laying on her back beside him and sliding one of her hands behind her head. “It just gives you more things to hate. More things to wanna rip to shreds.”

He hummed deep in his chest.

They both fell asleep as the sun began to rise.

Nari didn’t want to keep the truth hidden away from Bangtan anymore. She wanted to tell everyone more than anything. Keeping it from them was like a constant stone weighing in the pit of her stomach, a constant heaviness in her bones. She wasn’t sure what telling everyone would do. It would probably cause more problems than solve them. But the guilt was taking its toll on her.

When she brought the idea up to Yoongi as he readied a wire for her to wear to her meeting with Jooheon, he scoffed. “Do you know how fast they would snap your neck?”

Her brows furrowed. “I don’t think they would kill me--”

“Jungkook, Namjoon, and Taehyung wouldn’t kill you,” he corrected. Nimble fingers taped the wire to her bare chest as she stood in the middle of his office in only her bra. “Hoseok and Jimin would lose their minds.”

He was quiet for a brief moment before letting his eyes flicker up to meet hers. “Jin would want to kill you just because of your blood.”

“But I hate my father.”

“Do you think that matters to someone who had their entire family slaughtered by him?” Pale blue bangs fell into his eyes as he finished the last of his taping and shook his head. As he walked over to sink into his desk chair, she pulled her shirt back over her head. “Do you not see how this looks? Yeah, you didn’t know that he conned you into working for him. But convincing them that that is the honest to god truth is going to take time. A lot of time--”

“They deserve to know who’s living under the same roof as them.” She adjusted her collar and gave him a look. “We don’t have time to keep them in the dark, Yoongi. This could all go to shit before they found out. How would we explain ourselves if something bad happened? You’d look just as guilty as me if we don’t tell them.”

Dark brows sat low on his face as he thought it over. The subtle downturn of his sour pout gave away the bitterness burning in the back of his throat.

“If something goes wrong and they find out you’ve known who I am the whole time, the guys would never trust you again.” She crossed her arms. “You can’t run an operation like this without trust, Yoongi. We both know that.”

Rubbing the stubble on his chin, he exhaled through his nose and sucked on his teeth with a hiss. “I’ll think about it. It’s just…there are a lot of people in this family who have been fucked over by your people, Nari--”

“They’re not my people.”

“They were your people.” The relaxed way he leaned back, spineless, in his chair was a stark contrast to the way she fought the irritation of being associated with Lotus. “I mean… Jin and Taehyung both have had the people they loved most stolen from them because of your father. Jimin and Hoseok would never trust you again. That’s over half of our most important men.”

“They deserve to know.”

He waved her off dismissively. “I heard you.”

Before she could say anything else, he took a deep breath and heaved a sigh. “See what you can find out. I trust that you won’t do anything stupid.”

Scowling, she crossed her arms. “Have I done anything stupid up until this point?”

“Well.” He pointedly raised a brow. “You let Jooheon fuck you silly and batter the shit out of you. That pretty little goose egg on your face should be a reminder of that.”

He had a point, but she was bitter about it. The swollen and healing bruise throbbed as she bit her tongue.

“Just don’t get anyone killed.”

The only person that would be dying would be Jooheon. But even that would have to wait until everything fell into place. She couldn’t just kill him, he would have at least one person watching their meeting from afar. To make sure no one interfered. To make sure no one tailed Nari. If only they knew.

The knowledge that her whole existence for the last eight years had been a lie, had been a ploy to trick her into working for her father, made her blood boil even as she made her way towards the door. She trusted Jooheon. She pledged fealty to him, swore that she would do whatever he asked without question. The longer she thought back and remembered their time together, the more she saw just how fake everything was. He lied to her, manipulated her, threatened her, hurt her. He shrank her universe down to the size of a pinhead and made her believe she had the world at her fingertips. It was all a sham, every single bit of it.

Anger swirled in the pit of her stomach as she reached for Jungkook’s keys in the bowl by the door.

Warm fingers wrapped around her wrist just before she could grab them. Jaw clenched, blood pressure spiking, she knew her gaze was cutting when she whipped around to see who dared to stop her.

Jungkook’s doe eyes twinkled with something she couldn’t put her finger on. It disarmed her enough that she had to fight to keep her angry expression. It was useless.

“Why are you touching me?” she nearly whined.

His slight smile stretched wider, gaze soft. “How often are you going to steal my car before you go get your own vehicle like a big girl?”

Her lips pressed into a thin line. She really didn’t have time for this. Jooheon would have her head if she was late. Tiredly, she scratched at her forehead and sighed, keys in hand. “I just need it for a couple of hours. I’ll get a new one soon, I promise.”

His grin widened further. It infuriated her how handsome he could be without trying. How he could make her heart stutter in her chest. She didn’t want to be lovestruck, she wanted to be furious with Jooheon. But the lopsided way he smiled and her inability to bury the memories of how he tasted made that increasingly difficult.

He knew something she didn’t, and it didn’t help her shitty mood.

“Come with me.”

“Jungkook, I really can’t. I have an appointment--”

“It can wait five minutes.”

He was already traipsing off towards the garage, a happy little skip in his step. Rather than fight him, Nari decided to go along with it.

Before she could pass through the garage door, he turned towards her and gave a sheepish, anxious smile. “Close your eyes.”

“Seriously?” she laughed, rolling her eyes when he moved behind her and shielded her vision himself. Without her sight, her hands automatically drifted out in front of her. “You’re freaking me out a little bit.”

He cautiously began to lead her towards the garage, a breathless giggle sounding just behind her. “Don’t be freaked out.”

She shivered, a faint flush tinging her cheeks.

A moment later he was removing his hands from her eyes. “Ta-da!”

Nari blinked, adjusting to the sudden brightness. Her jaw dropped, eyes widening. “Holy shit--”

A motorcycle. The one she’d been wanting, similar to Tae’s. Matte black and sleek, like something out of Batman.

“Jesus Christ, I kiss you one time and you buy me a fucking motorcycle?!” She choked, whipping around to give him a bewildered look. “Jungkook, what the hell did you do? How much money did you spend on this?”

He shrugged, obviously flustered by the way he fingered at his red ears. “I got tired of you stealing my shit.”

Shaking her head, she crossed her arms. “No. Absolutely not.”

“What do you mean no--?”

“I can’t accept this, Jungkook!” She gestured to the bike just a few feet away. “This isn’t just like-- a fucking bouquet of flowers! This is a lot of money!”

“Nari, I think you’re forgetting that I have money,” he sniggered, baffled. “Like. A lot of it.”

She sent him a look, stern. “What, do I get a yacht if I suck your dick?”

His laugh was loud and unabashed, head throwing back.

She glared at him and took the keys from his hand. “I’m only accepting this because I have to be somewhere important and I’m running late. When I get home, we’re having a serious conversation.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

The world looked so much better when it was smeared before her at high speeds. Like art, like a painting. Shops and neighborhoods were streaks of color, all sounds faded to nothing but the consistent growl of the engine. Everything became so insignificant when she leaned down and zipped through the streets. The fear she felt to see Jooheon again melted away, left behind on the roads of Seoul. Exposed to the elements, she had wings. Riding a motorcycle was liberating, but actually driving one… She felt free for the first time in so long.

The bike below her hummed, nearly purring at finally getting to stretch its muscles. It felt like both an extension of her and its own living entity.

Maybe she would have to thank Jungkook after all.

The park was empty and eerily still. The only person for what felt like miles was Jooheon, dressed in his usual sleek suit and gleaming shoes. He stuck out like a sore thumb, too dapper and put together for a place with rusting garbage cans and disk golf baskets.

When he heard her approaching, his head snapped up, coal black eyes narrowing. His slicked back and inky hair seemed to shine even in the overcast afternoon. “You’re late.”

She checked her watch as she eased onto the picnic table’s bench across from him. Late by just two minutes. But two minutes was two minutes too long when she was already on thin ice with Jooheon. “I’m sorry. I was trying to get out the door, but Jungkook got me a gift, and I didn’t want to seem suspicious by being urgent.”

He nodded in the general direction of where her bike sat. “That your little gift?”

“Yes sir.” She didn’t dare look away from him. Hatred rolled her stomach and made her blood boil. Swallowing the urge to draw her gun and shoot him dead right then and there, she forced herself to be as truthful as she could. “He has feelings for me.”

“Did you fuck him to get there?” He asked, serious.

“No.”

“You should.” He was matter of fact. Like Jungkook wasn’t a person who deserved real love, like manipulating him should have been as easy as ordering coffee at Starbucks. ”You need to solidify that. Make him fall in love.”

She bit her tongue and clenched her fists below the table until her nails threatened to cut into her palms. “I plan on it. I’ve been in too long with too little payoff, I need to get as much information as I can so we can just end this shit.”

“You’ve given me almost nothing to work with.” He lit up a cigarette and carelessly blew smoke into the wind. “If you really wanted access to information, you’d fuck Min.”

Her jaw tensed. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll have to consider that.”

How dare he. Yoongi had been nothing but good to her, he’d been the only leader she’d ever known to show her what truth looked like. She wondered if he heard Jooheon say that through the wire under her shirt.

Black eyes locked with hers. “I expect real information this time.”

“Taehyung is shaken. He’s not at his best right now. The gala messed with his head.” The bullshit story she and Yoongi crafted rolled off her tongue with ease. Lies, but close enough to the whole truth that Jooheon wouldn’t ask too many questions.

“Good.” He smirked. Cocky as he took a lazy drag from his smoke. “Fucker’s too good at his job. Maybe he’ll stay distracted this time.”

She wanted to strangle him.

“The meeting with Zhang went well,” she continued, somehow able to keep her composure despite the screaming desire to make him pay. “He agreed to help get our hands on enough guns to appease Choi. He’s shipping them straight to a dock in Busan. Min lost a shit ton of money in all this, Zhang only agreed because he would be getting sixty five percent of the money from Choi for the sheer inconvenience. Yoongi didn’t want to fight him and end up creating more bad blood, he has enough of that.”

She pulled a sheet of paper out of her pocket and placed it in the middle of the table. “Here’s some of the information for one of their accounts. I snuck back into Yoongi’s office and found some paperwork locked away in his safe. Nearly got caught, too, but I saved myself.”

He eyed the numbers carefully before folding the scrap of paper and hiding it away in his jacket pocket. “How much money is in this account?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. Yoongi gave her the information for one of their oldest accounts, one that had a large chunk of money, but not enough cash that would completely drain them. They had more money than Jooheon or her father would ever know, more than she would know. Jooheon was just arrogant enough to believe that they raked in less cash than Monsta X or Lotus. “I think he opened the account in 2014, so it’s probably got a decent amount of money. But who knows how much.”

Nodding slowly, he thought over her words. He flicked ash from his cigarette and gave a cold smile. “This is a good start. You’re finally making progress, and a decent leap at that.”

He took her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles. The sensation made her skin crawl. “This will all be over soon. They’ll be dead, and you’ll be on your way back home.”

She prayed the loathing in her gaze came across as excitement. “How much longer?”

“A few weeks,” he clipped. As he stood and adjusted his jacket, he barely gave her a second glance. “You should talk to a plastic surgeon about your face. That cut will scar, and I can’t have you looking like you’ve been so stupid as to get your head smashed on a counter for future jobs. You have to look perfect and nonthreatening.”

She bit her tongue so hard she tasted blood. “Yes sir. I’ll talk to someone, I’d hate to look like someone had ever wanted to hurt me.”

He walked around the table and leaned down to grip her chin. “You’re finally doing your job. All it took was a big cock for you to act right. I’ll have to keep that in mind for the future.”

The next few days Nari spent fuming over the things Jooheon said to her. The way he spoke to her as if she were nothing, like what happened in the bathroom was nothing out of the ordinary. Truthfully, nothing had ever been normal between them. That was becoming more and more apparent the longer she was away from him. He was manipulative, cold, using her for his own gain. But the way he reacted at the gala was like he was losing it at the mere thought that he could lose all sense of control over her.

He had always been terrible, but it was obvious that he was spiraling--slipping further into his darkness. Maybe he could feel that he was losing his grip on her despite her having every right to throw herself into seeming as if she were one of Bangtan. Sure, she had switched sides. But he had no way of knowing that. At least not for sure.

In the Bangtan house, all had been quiet since they came home from Shanghai. No passive aggressive comments, no distrusting glances from Hoseok or Jimin. Yoongi carried on as normal, keeping all of his and Nari’s secrets tucked away. The others were none the wiser.

Things with Jungkook were…good. It was almost dizzying how different things were when she was around him. After their kiss, he respected her space and didn’t push anything, but there was a constant lingering tension that left them hovering around each other without either of them ever acknowledging what had happened or Nari’s injuries. Mere days passed before one of them cracked, and it certainly wasn’t her.

He came to her as she was on her laptop going through their records to see who still owed them money. In Yoongi’s words, she was to “make note of who needs their cages rattled.” They’d handle it at Cards the following week.

She didn’t notice Jungkook walk into the living room until Sora pranced in behind him, collar jingling and tongue hanging out of her mouth happily. He was dressed in nothing more than athletic shorts and a baggy t-shirt, but she couldn’t stop her eyes from wandering across his muscled frame.

She ripped her gaze away and continued with her work.

Leaning down over the arm of the couch, he bit back a smile. “You’re very focused.”

The corners of her mouth twitched as she glanced up at him, blue light shining on her face from the screen. It didn’t take much to rid her facade. “And you’re very observant.”

He wanted something. She could tell. Whenever he wanted something, he had this excited energy like it was taking everything in his power to coolly and smoothly lead into his pitch. Eager and nearly vibrating, like an untrained puppy fighting the urge to jump on strangers.

She narrowed her eyes in playful suspicion and slowly closed her laptop, crossing her arms. “You want something.”

He scoffed and made a dramatic show of looking around the room to find where on earth she would’ve been inspired to have such a thought, eyes twinkling and teeth on full display in a sly grin. “Who? Me?”

“You’re bursting at the seams. Out with it.”

There was a brief moment where he simply stared at her, gaze soft. It made her cheeks warm. “Are you hungry?”

Nari blinked, confused. Her eyes flickered to her plate on the coffee table where the crust of her sandwich from lunch less than an hour prior remained.

Jungkook’s eyes quickly followed, widening as his cheeks flushed pink. “Oh. Uh--”

“I just ate. Um…why?”

His brow pinched, expression perturbed.

Why was he looking at her that way?

“Really?” He asked after a stretch of silence. His smile faltered the slightest bit, and she worried that she had done something to offend him. He shrugged then, gaze falling to the floor as he let out a strained chuckle. “Okay then.”

“What? What did I do?”

“I just thought you might want to grab a bite with me,” he shyly muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. His weight shifted from foot to foot, unable to stay still. “You know…after the other night.”

Oh.

She blinked in surprise, lips parting. He wanted to go out with her. On a date. Because they kissed, and he liked it.

“Oh-- Oh. Oh my god--”

He waved her off and headed towards the kitchen, eyes never leaving the hardwood beneath his feet. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine, I just thought--”

“I’m not hungry,” she blurted, skin crawling in humiliation. “But I will be. Later. Tonight.”

His head snapped up, that beaming smile back on his face. “Yeah?”

Her face hurt from the way it grinned back at him. “Yeah.”

Strong, tattooed hands shoved themselves into his pockets as he nodded, pursing his lips in an amused line. “Cool.”

Later that night, she had to calm herself as she got ready. Which was dumb. She was an assassin, she shouldn’t turn to mush when a pretty boy with soft lips wants to take her on a date. But everything with Jooheon was so different, even when they were starting their relationship it was a part of work. They slept together to celebrate her first kill, and a few weeks after that he began treating her as his significant other. If he wanted to go out to dinner, he simply told her they were going out. There were no nervous smiles or giddy laughter.

As she put on her lipstick, she realized Jooheon never even officially asked her to be his girlfriend. She just…was.

Fuck, was she nervous. She didn’t know why, she knew Jungkook wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. But clearly she didn’t know how to navigate any real romantic connection, and she really didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of him again.

Which was also dumb. He was just a man.

When she met him in the kitchen at 8pm sharp, he was leaned up against the countertop scrolling through his phone. As she entered, he glanced up, only to do a double take. Immediately, he tucked the device away into his pocket and stared at her with a look that could only be described as awe.

“You look beautiful,” he breathed. The way her eyes nervously glanced down at her clothes, he immediately cleared his throat and collected himself. “You look nice.”

Thankful that he reeled it in a bit, she gestured to him across the way. “So do you, holy shit. You clean up nice.”

And she meant it. It was just a fitted button up tucked into ripped black jeans, but the perfect way his hair was swept off his face to reveal his dark brows led her to believe that he spent just a little too long standing in front of his closet and mirror to get it all right.

The ride to the restaurant was awkward for all of ten minutes before Jungkook was blasting some bubblegum pop song and singing as loud as he could. At first it was clear he was trying to at least carry the melody, if not actually sing well for his own enjoyment. But once he realized she was paying attention, he started putting on a show. He sang passionately, voice cracking in tuneless, giggly shouts.

As she sat there grinning at him over the console, he glanced at her with both hands on the wheel and hollered over the music. “Come on, you don’t know this song?”

She never sang, never bellowed lyrics on a midnight drive as glowing street lights whirred by in neon smears. But something about the unbridled glee that illuminated his dark eyes made her join in. She barely knew the lyrics, but he didn’t seem to mind. The garbled way she shouted the melody in a string of vowels and misplaced consonants made him throw his head back and laugh, and that made the embarrassment worthwhile.

It was hard to stay nervous when he had a way of dissolving tension.

When they got to the restaurant, he opened both the car door and the front door of the establishment for her. It didn’t surprise her very much, just because of course he was a perfect gentleman. But even though she almost expected it, even though she wasn’t surprised, there was still a brief moment of her muttering out a flustered thank you. Unable to look at him longer than a brief second.

It was a small place sandwiched between a cafe and a cosmetics store. One corner of the sign was dim, a single bulb blown after countless years. Through the window she could see other customers gathered around grills and drinking together, too caught up in meat and liquor to give a damn what happened beyond the entrance. It had been a while since she went out for barbecue, let alone somewhere that was such a little hole in the wall.

Sitting across from him at the restaurant was almost bizarre. The only times she had ever been out with anyone in the last eight years, man or woman, was merely a precursor to killing them. Other than Jooheon, of course. Looking back, their outings were just for show. To flex his money and power. He never held the door open for her. Never gazed at her with soft eyes. He never even asked her what she wanted to eat or gave her the opportunity to decide what she wanted.

It was in that moment that she realized she’d never been on a real date at all, and that brought the nerves that buzzed like electricity under her skin back full force.

“This place isn’t super fancy, but their food is amazing,” Jungkook shyly said as he hungrily watched the group of older men one table over flip their pork belly with a mouthwatering sizzle. “I know you’ve probably had barbecue a million times, but--”

“I love barbecue.” Her lips twitched in a guilty smile. “I just have never manned the grill.”

His eyes widened, flickering to the waitress as she brought them their drinks. He thanked her, quickly turning his attention back to Nari. “You’re Korean and you’ve never cooked your own meat?”

“No, I haven’t, thank you very much.” She narrowed her eyes playfully. “I didn’t know it was required upon receiving your birth certificate.”

He took a sip of his beer. “Oh yeah. It’s definitely government mandated. There’s a card for it and everything.”

She rolled her eyes. “If you must know, I…I was never allowed. My ex was controlling.”

Curiosity bloomed in his gaze. She had never mentioned any past partners before.

She couldn’t help but feel a weight lifted off her shoulders just from referring to him as her ex. Obviously he wasn’t aware she’d decided they were no longer a couple, but he’d find out soon enough. There was something liberating about keeping something for herself for now.

Jungkook leaned his elbows on the table, not looking up when the waitress brought their meat. “And grilling was where he drew the line? That was his schtick?”

“Everything was his schtick,” she deadpanned darkly, popping one of the complementary puffs into her mouth. “I wasn’t allowed to do most things.”

He sensed her change in tone. Sensed the subtle way she retreated into herself, into whatever memories of this ex plagued her. Maybe even haunted her. He knew she had some trauma--he just assumed it was all because of what happened to her mother. The thought that someone would control her, or would even be able to, baffled him. She was so strong, powerful. She commanded a room.

Whatever asshole tried to control her was probably not one to be trifled with.

He took the tongs from the plate and slid around the booth to sit beside her. He held them out to her, brows lifting expectantly. “You wanna learn how?”

She stared down at the metal tongs. Something spread throughout her chest and crept up to make her throat tighten. Dark eyes peered up at him as she hesitantly took them. “Really?”

His hair bounced in an emphatic nod. “Absolutely. I’ll walk you through it all, you can do everything.”

Everything?

He must’ve taken her silence as disgust or maybe rejection, because after a moment he shrugged with pink cheeks. “Or not-- I mean. I can do it, I’d be more than happy to--”

“No.” She was thankful she managed to keep herself from getting teary at the small freedom offered to her. It felt so stupid, the whole thing. Not knowing how to do something so easy and that everyone else around her knew. The fact that that was something Jooheon tried to control in the first place. That she would let him have that much control to begin with. “Teach me. Please, I wanna do it.”

Jungkook taught her everything--when to cut the meat, when to flip it. Just the right amount of pork belly to put on the grill at a time. It was all so simple, she probably could have figured it out herself if given enough time. But what mattered was that he let her do it. He gave her the reins and merely directed her, always gentle, always warm. He never made her feel like a child for not knowing how to do something that seemed to be common knowledge. His toothy grin was ever present, encouraging her.

They sat thigh to thigh in the booth, laughing and eating together. It felt so normal. Not at all like just days prior they were in a standoff with seven wolves and praying they made it out alive. Like they were just two people, each intrigued and enthralled by the other’s presence.

He tried to feed her a lettuce wrap, his own cheeks stuffed round and bulging as he held it out to her.

She cut her eyes at him in exasperation. “Now what about me says that I’m a woman who likes to be fed?”

He nearly choked on his food, that endearingly ugly laugh slipping out for all to hear as he covered his mouth and put the wrap back on his plate. After he swallowed, he shrugged and wiped his hands. “I dunno, I thought you’d like it.”

Nari took a drink, soju burning all the way down to her stomach. She smirked. “That’s your move, isn’t it?”

“My move?”

“The thing you do to really make the ladies go wild on a first date.”

His head tilted guiltily, tongue rolling against the inside of his cheek as he pushed up his sleeves. He gestured lazily, holding back a laugh as his arm draped across her shoulders. “Not just ladies, I don’t discriminate.”

She was surprised by his honesty. Not because he should keep that information secret--hell, she was the same. But it was something they’d never discussed openly before. It was probably just the alcohol in his system making him loose-lipped, but he hadn’t drank much at all. A part of her deep down hoped that maybe, just maybe, he felt safe around her.

She grinned and crossed her legs. “And how well does this usually work out for you, lover boy?”

“Fifty-fifty.”

Grimacing, she leaned back against the seat and relished in the warmth of his skin radiating into her frame. “Sounds like you need a new move.”

Looking down at her with an amused smile, his gaze flickered briefly from her lips to her eyes. They shone in the overhead lighting, as bright and sparkling as the night sky. If she looked hard enough, she could just make out the Big Dipper. There was a brief pause that made her stomach climb up into her mouth. His face was so close to hers.

Lowly, he murmured, “Maybe you’ll have to give me some ideas.”

The ride back to the apartment was painfully tense. Nari felt like her body was on fire. It took everything in her to hold herself together, and that was something she’d never experienced before. She’d felt desire, but never…this. It was excruciating, and she knew it would end badly. Jungkook didn’t know the truth, and she couldn’t let this go further than it already had until he did. Going on a date with him was a mistake, it was selfish of her to go when so much of her was still hidden from him. He would feel differently about her when he knew, she couldn’t let it escalate. She felt bad enough.

Initially, the ride home was tense because of how he looked at her like she could do no wrong. Because his hands were strong but gentle. Because of the lazy, lopsided, crooked smile he wore as he spoke. The way his dark hair swept off his forehead and behind his ears. But the realization that acting on any of that tension before telling him what she was would be misleading and deceptive quickly shifted the tension from sexually charged to a stiff silence.

She stared out the window and cursed herself for the pain she would eventually cause him.

As they approached the door to the penthouse, Jungkook gently wrapped his fingers around her wrist as she began punching in the keycode as soon as it was within reach. Worry creased his brow, lips parted as he tried to find the right words.

She waited, gave him the time to piece together his thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

It caught her off guard, the genuine concern in his voice. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He let her go, hand instead rubbing at the back of his neck. Broad shoulders raised and dropped in an uncertain shrug. “I dunno. You just got really quiet. I just thought we both were having fun, and then it was like… I don’t know, like nobody was home.”

She couldn’t fight the thaw in her facade.

Softening, she gave a small, reassuring smile. “I had a great time, Jungkook. Promise.”

The tension in his shoulders eased a bit, a subtle and almost imperceptible sigh of relief breathing out through his nose. He bit his lower lip with hopes to contain his smile, nodding as his eyes looked at anything but her. His hands made their way into his pockets as he let a teasing grin slowly spread across his handsome face. “Me too. Even if my move didn’t work on you.”

Awkward, hesitant, she leaned closer and craned her neck to press her lips to his cheek.

The moment her pink lips met his warm skin, her heart skipped. The proximity of him, his warmth. It made something in her defenses lower. It made her crumble. The familiar scent of eucalyptus and his cologne made her linger there, fighting the urge to touch him. To taste him. To do what she wanted.

He turned his head when he sensed her hesitation, lips suddenly a breath away from hers. Smile fading as his eyes grew heavy lidded. The air was thick and heavy with everything left unsaid. The entryway seemed all too silent, the walls even holding their breath in wait. Any noise could tip the scales, jerk them back to reality.

He seemed to draw her to him like a magnet, that invisible pull that’s unquestionable and undeniable. She felt that tug just beneath her ribs. She wanted so badly for things to be different. To be able to just give in without second thought. To live without that shadow lingering in the back of her mind and controlling her thoughts. Influencing her happiness.

Tattooed hands freed themselves from his pockets just so he could gently brush a strand of hair from her face. She felt herself let him. Let him tuck her hair and softly carress her cheekbone with the backs of his fingers. She let him slowly, cautiously walk her back until she arched into his chest from the chill of the wall as it nipped at all her exposed flesh. He was so warm, it was like standing on the sun.

Their breaths mingled, parted lips catching on each other as they restrained themselves. Neither was courageous enough to take that next step, to take the plunge. They hovered there in the painstaking, magnetic abyss--noses brushing each other, eyes fluttering closed. Her hands slid up his chest, and he sighed at her touch. Her touch alone literally drew breath from his lungs. It set her ablaze, made her ache.

Strong hands drifted down her sides and made her shiver, so patient in their slow descent. One anchored at her waist to ground her. The other slid up her neck, burning hot and scorching her eager, sensitive skin.

When he kissed her, dread swirled in her stomach. She couldn’t do this. As much as she wanted to, as good as he was, he had to know the truth first. He deserved that.

At the faint brush of his lips, Nari pulled back, heart hammering in her chest.

The spell was broken by the sharp, unforgiving prick of reality’s thorn. The walls sighed in disappointment, all air rushing back into the world. Stale and stagnant.

As if he knew it was coming, Jungkook rested his forehead on hers in defeat.

“Goodnight, Jungkook,” she whispered with a small, apologetic smile.

Without another word, she unlocked the door and went inside without him.

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