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ih8me2ash · 2 years

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My Journal Entries (post #27)

I’m just going to put this here, finding friends who actually care is so super hard for some reason.

To the point that I think it’s just me, maybe I’m not a people person. I mean, I’ve always been a person to avoid others and keeps my walls up pretty high. But this is just stupid, I don’t talk to anyone besides the people in this house, I’m so alone all day, especially when my boyfriend goes to work. Since I work from home I don’t get out much. Most people think I’m very timid or I just look annoyed because of not knowing how to control my resting bitch face. Thanks, mom for that gene.

Also, close friends are getting on my nerves, I feel like none of them listen to me like I just had a conversation with an old buddy of mine that has heard this story more times than I could count about my kidney issues. Told me he had no idea, and just gave stupid comments about it, saying I should just do the surgery since I’m a borderline alcoholic. Funny enough I’ve told him I don’t have insurance multiple times too. Talk about not listening. Met two new people, but damn these bitches be dumb, because I’m back to being told all these issues on their side, and then when I open my mouth about being the littlest sad they just drop me, and then go do some other shit on social media like are ya'll for real? I literally told one of them about the other about that problem then they told me: “They were too drunk to do this conversation.” When they asked me in the first place how I was doing. So I’ve been ignoring both of them.

Lost full connection with everyone from Oklahoma, which is good. But still, before I moved here I lived with a friend beforehand because my adopted family life was getting to the point where I was thinking about killing myself, I was already starving myself and still cutting but I kept that to myself, for the most part, OH and my door were taken because of that, I was 19 and my door was taken from me. But back to her, so the thing about me losing contact with her was that it shouldn’t have happened.

She slowly started to show red flags for the last couple of months before I had enough, and I was back to thinking about killing myself. Funny how my brain does that after a while of being somewhere. But, she still has a lot of my stuff, figures that cost over 4k, and a lot of clothes. ((which I saw her wearing in a Facebook profile picture and I got extremely pissed off about.)) But the whole thing is she mostly stopped talking to me because my adopted mother was trying to get a hold of her because I blocked my whole adopted family just a few weeks after moving in with my friend because I had enough issues because my car was repossessed and I didn’t tell anyone because I wanted to handle it on my own. Didn’t work out that way, my adopted mom opened one of my letters and found out, flipped her shit and started questioning me, and then started trying to make me vote, and telling me that she fully believed in super straight. And then when I moved here, my friend was getting “harassed” and I told my friend to tell her I moved out and I wanted nothing to do with that family ever again. But then my friend was trying to force me to make things better with my adopted family and try to work things out?? Like, YOU SEE HOW CRAZY THOSE PEOPLE ARE?! I was so mad, but I kept it myself and I kept telling her I wasn’t going even to try.

Then I asked for her to mail me my W2, She said she would, few weeks passed and I asked her if she did it, and no reply. A couple more weeks later, I asked again trying really not to be bossy with her, no reply, and then she blocked me on Snapchat and Facebook Like?? You can’t just not give someone their tax forms? I think she wants me to rot in jail.

I don’t know, she got a boyfriend, after claiming she was completely into girls and I even bought her a lesbian pride flag, but she started to act more sneaky, was leaving a lot at night, would have her boyfriend over when we had no food, and he would eat it all. She hadn’t messaged me for two days when she went to hang out with him, when I asked for a ride to work ((ended up walking)) and then tried to have a serious conversation with him right there, and I cried in front of him when I hardly even spoken to this man, Would go to work herself with him still in the house like? Other people live here too. It made my boyfriend and me super uncomfortable. Anyways, that friendship was mostly ruined because of that man. She was never home. Her boyfriend was always claiming he was broke but then not even a few minutes later they would go out to eat, go to the movies or the mall. The lying was non-stop, She was treating me like I was her parents, and she also claimed she disliked her family a lot but spend every other day there too. She was just all over the place. I felt like I already lost her. Which really hurt because I and my boyfriend would never make her feel left out at all, but she was basically avoiding us. She even had the gall to say my boyfriend was toxic. My boyfriend has bipolar, but he smokes weed, or THC to help that, and sometimes couples get into arguments, which I and my boyfriend hardly do, and the day she was referring to was when I was upset because my therapy wasn’t going to continue and I was out of smokes so I got upset with my boyfriend so we got into it. But that was mostly it, but now he was toxic.

I don’t know, I felt misplaced with her and replaced. We made plans if we were single by 30 we were going to marry each other at one point, I helped her a lot after too big breakups. I spent a lot of time trying to get her out of the house. Helped her love herself again, we laughed, we cried, and we had good times, she was my rock and I was hers. I was even making plans with her more than my own ex-partner and I. That’s one of the reasons why I broke it off with my ex. I for real lost a partner because of her. And this is what I get? To be forgotten like a childhood toy, did I fulfill my purpose? She made me feel like a nobody like I was just another bystander. That we weren't even friends anymore, and she hardly even acted like she cared when she dropped us off at the airport, which I and my boyfriend were surprised she did because she came home around 3 in the morning when we had to be there at 8ish in the morning.

I don’t know what to do about friendships. I think that at the end of the day, I’m the problem? Maybe I am, I’m too much maybe.. I’m not saying I’m a saint but I have a lot of baggage. Maybe I’m just meant to keep this shit to myself, I only really talk to Dom about these thoughts, if any. Actually, I don’t want him to worry all that much. But that's why I was trying to find those friends. People to help me through that bad times, like they said they would help. They never did. So now I’m here confused and hurt because I just wanted a shoulder to cry on because I feel like if it’s always going to be my boyfriend he's going to leave me. Why do I think like that? I think everyone here secretly hates me, I feel like my boyfriend can do so much better. Then the thoughts, Jesus the thoughts are so loud and always in my head no matter what I do to make them go away. As I was writing my boyfriend came in, and said: oh you writing again hell yeah! I leave you to it then. And remember his toxic

- ａｓｈｔｏ n ♡

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years

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Hello! I’m sorry if you’re stockpiled on requests, but could I ask for a Walten files char’s reactions to Y/N coming out? (I think it’s best to leave what sexuality/gender they came out as/or is blank) I just saw this tiktok of Jack Walten giving Sophie this shirt that says

“Let’s get 1 thing straight... I’m not” with a lesbian flag on it and I started crying-

YO I SAW THAT SAME ONE GSHGH. And Jack singing "be who you are/don't hide your pride" or something like that to Sophie is so wholesome gjsghd Unless specified I'll include animatronics, some of the human cast, and some of the non-canon gang too ........... Animatronics

Bon: He'd be like "oh cool, whatever makes you happy." He can be a snarky and sarcastic prick, but he's not gonna judge you for who you are.

Sha: ABSOLUTELY supportive. 100%. Since then she's noticed you've been a lot happier now that you can be yourself.

Banny: You might have to explain to her what your gender/sexuality is. Afterwards she'll hug you like "as long as you're happy, I'm happy!" Similar to Bon but more enthusiastic.

Boozoo: It may take a while to explain it to him, too...but surprisingly he's chill with it (even if he doesn't understand it much). Alongside Sha he's like a supportive dad.

Billy: Just smiles and nods in understanding. If you have a different gender he'll be sure to remember your pronouns next time it's your birthday.

Humans

Sophie: Ever since she came out, it gave you the confidence to come out to her. And she's happy for you! (plus relieved that she's got both supportive friends and family).

Jack: Hell yeah he's supportive of his friend/colleague! Like he did with Sophie he wants you to know you're loved and accepted and appreciated.

Felix: Same as Jack, though with the restaurant opening he instilled a policy that Bunny Smiles Inc would not discriminate against employees or customers regardless of sexuality/gender.

Brian: Prob the best person you could tell. He's very chill and supportive (and would prob beat up anyone who was rude to you about it).

Non-Canon

Mortality: He prob wouldn't care too much, since he only deals with death and stuff. But don't take offense. He's pleased to hear that you wanna live your life fully as your preferred identity.

Pumpkin Rabbit: Honestly thought you wanted to leave when you said you wanted to talk. But he doesn't mind it at all. As long as you're a good bunny.

Witch Sheep: You were a bit scared she'd kick you out of the house, but she's very understanding and reassures you that you're always welcomed under her roof.

Jolly: More supportive than Mortality, though she'll be like "be careful of ignorant folk who may be less-than-kind to ya about your preference" (since she'd be aware of present issues and all that)

Sad: Would cry bc he's a big ol' empath (especially after you tell him how long you've been hiding your identity until now) but he's grateful you're being honest with him.

#clanask #anonymous #the walten files x reader #walten files x reader #twf x reader #boozoos ghosts x reader #mysterious house x reader #nope not tagging every character sorry hjdhh #headcanons

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tunedtostatic · 3 years

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Iris 2 crew at Pride on a planet

• It’s Pride month and (Krejjh voice) I am feeling FESTIVE, so, Iris 2 crew at Pride: the highs, the lows, the fundraiser coffee

• Violet hasn’t had a chance to go to a Pride parade/festival often. She loves spending the day getting to feel like she can truly relax and be herself, surrounded by other queer people and their loved ones, having spent so many years dealing with nebulous biphobia at school and work.

• She buys little bi flag earrings from a craft booth and wears them all afternoon.

• Krejjh is overjoyed for all the humans here who are having the chance to support each other and take pride in identities outside the gender binary. They secretly feel a little weird since they themself grew up without a gender binary, and so not fitting in one isn’t a part of their identity that felt significant or caused problems for them until they came to live among humans and suddenly it did. But it makes them feel safe and happy to be among so many humans who aren’t within the gender binary either.

• They’re also enjoying the preponderance of glitter.

• Brian has to intervene when Violet buys a little pack of biodegradable glitter and Arkady dares them to eat some of it.

• Sana wears streaks of temporary hair dye, a sparkly shirt, and a giant shoulder bag full of water bottles, bandaids, snacks even though there are plenty of places to buy food, sun visors, and sunscreen. She and Violet make sure everyone reapplies sunscreen every few hours.

• Arkady and RJ are both a little on edge, not fully turning off their protective instincts toward the rest of the crew. Even here, surrounded by a multitude of other queer people, Arkady can feel her heart racing just a little when she takes Violet’s hand in public. It isn’t like she can’t take care of herself if someone starts shit with them one-on-one, but she’s holding Violet’s hand and what if that means she’s putting Violet at risk and...

• As the day goes on, Arkady relaxes a little and starts to enjoy herself more. Near the end of the day, when everyone is happy and sticky with sweat and sunscreen, she has a semi-accidental heartfelt conversation with RJ when they get stuck in line together waiting for the toilets about how hard it is to let their guards down and truly believe that it’s statistically likely this event will stay safe and no one will attack the participants.

• Arkady might not be completely relaxed herself, but she loves watching Violet relaxing and enjoying herself.

• Violet buys a purple flower from a stall and threads it into Arkady’s hair for a lesbian history/ace pride purple/horrible Violet’s-name pun triple reference, causing Arkady to lose the ability to form sentences (and to be distracted from her fears) for a good thirty seconds. She wears it for the rest of the day and when they get back to the ship she secretly finds a book to press it in.

• Violet doesn’t try to stop Arkady from being worried or protective. Instead, she focuses on enjoying herself and having all the moments with Arkady that she wants to have, from buying her the flower to getting ice cream for both of them. She knows from her own anxiety disorder that telling someone to “calm down” or trying to make them relax isn’t helpful, especially when there’s a piece of truth in their fears (Sana may also have tracked her down the day before to talk about what is and isn’t helpful when Arkady is afraid something bad will happen).

• Park buys so many cups of coffee from the coffee booth that he might be single-handedly funding the queer youth programs they’re raising money for.

• No one has any idea if he’s queer or just here as part of the crew. He’s clearly enjoying sipping coffee and lurking comfortingly next to McCabe.

• Just as Arkady is starting to relax, a cute transport starship pilot also wearing a sparkly outfit starts flirting with Sana, and Arkady slips into security officer mode, lurking around trying to determine whether they’re secretly a threat of the good old-fashioned smuggling underworld variety, until Violet drags her away to look at the art vendors and leave Sana to flirt in peace.

• The planet they’re on has done a solid job of holding an accessible event, and there are enough rest areas and seating on the parade route and between the spot where the crew watches the parade and the park/food area that Brian doesn’t have to walk prohibitively far.

• He runs into another linguist he went to undergrad with who is there with eir partner; the partner and the Iris crew are stuck chatting with each other while Brian and his friend have an animated conversation about...no one is exactly sure what, but it definitely has something to do with “poststructuralism in queer exolinguistics.”

• The crew loses track of Krejjh briefly after they peel off to buy donuts for a suspiciously long time and then don’t answer their comm (it turns out they were mid-transaction buying a surprise for Brian). Sana decides that the best course of action is for herself and Arkady to hoist Violet up between them so that she can see over the crowd, an endeavor that unsurprisingly doesn’t actually locate Krejjh but does give Violet a great panorama view of the festivities. Park stands by sipping coffee, Brian makes suggestions for things he thinks Violet ought to yell to get Krejjh’s attention in the style of the classic lost in a crowd meme (“SH’TH HREMREH IS TERRIBLE!”), and RJ tries desperately to pretend they don’t know any of them.

#the strange case of starship iris #vikady #food #biphobia #homophobia #assault #mention only but idk if the built in filtering system works for [word] mention #ptsd #my writing #tscosi

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joezworld · 3 years

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Fools in Love (6/10)

Pride Cometh In The Fall

September, 1979 - Tidmouth

There were many things going on in Tidmouth that fall - The Fat Controller had opened a new banquet centre inside the big station, and Flying Scotsman had arrived for an entire month of railtours following a lengthy rebuild.

Most engines were excited to see Scotsman, especially Gordon - who was practically beside himself at the opportunity to spend more time with his brother, but he quickly became concerned with how Scotsman was acting.

“I say, he’s changed since the last time I saw him!” Gordon muttered conspiratorially in the shed one morning. “I can’t put my buffer on it, but something’s different.”

“I went to America for a few years, Gordon - I didn’t get replaced by a pod engine.” Scotsman replied sardonically as he backed into the shed to use the turntable.

“A what?”

“It’s a film reference - never mind that. I went to America and had some time to relax, Gordon. If I seem different it’s because I had to opportunity to emotionally decompress for the first time in my life.”

“Emotionally what?”

“I had some me time. I feel much better now. That’s what’s different.” Scotsman said as he was spun around .

“Well, that, and the paint on your face!” Duck laughed as Scotsman was spun around and faced the other engines.

“What?” Scotsman asked as Gordon wheeshed angrily.

“You’ve been defaced! Some vandal has painted on your smokebox!” It was true: there was a small pink triangle on Scotsman’s cheek.

“Oh! That!” Recognition bloomed in Scotsman’s eyes. “That’s not vandalism, it’s face paint! There’s an event going on at the banquet hall and they’re doing face painting. I figured it would be fun to participate!”

Scotsman would have gone on, but Gordon’s incredibly displeased expression caused him to dissolve into laughter until his driver pulled him out of the shed.

Gordon glared at the other engines. “Don’t you laugh at me - it’s undignified and he knows it!”

The laughter of the other engines showed how little they cared about dignity!

-------

The event at the station appeared to be a boisterous one, as every engine who ended up on the platform closest to the banquet hall came back with more stories of the oddly dressed people and their arts and crafts projects that were spilling into the station proper.

“Arts and Crafts?” Henry asked Edward later.

“Well if it isn’t an arts and crafts event, they certainly have enough kit for one!” The blue engine replied. “They were making signs and had funny flags and chalk and face paint were everywhere. I don’t know what else it could be.”

“What’s this I’m hearing about flags?” Oliver asked Duck at Arlesburgh.

“I don’t know what country it’s for, but they have a flag that’s just a bunch of multicoloured stripes.”

“Good lord, what happened to you?!” The stationmaster at Cronk asked 040.

“They had chalk!” She said proudly, looking back at the enormous pink Lambda written on her side. It was so eye-catching that it obscured the many other smaller markings done in chalk along her body.

“I didn’t know that’s what that word meant.” Daisy said to Thomas when she returned from the big station.

“You learn a new thing every day I suppose.” Thomas said.

040′s new ‘markings’ were particularly vivid, and when she backed into the sheds at Barrow at the end of the day, Flying Scotsman’s eyes almost popped out of his smokebox.

“Um, 040? Do you know what any of those things mean?”

“Nope!” She chirped brightly. “But they said that it was in support of their cause, so I’m all right with that.

“Do you know what their cause is?”

“They seem to be very proud about how happy they are.”

It took about three seconds for Scotsman to process her statement, at which point he laughed so hard he started crying.

“What?” She said as Scotsman began turning purple, which only caused him to laugh more.

Scotsman kept laughing for so long that Henry and Bear began to look at him as though he was insane.

Eventually, he managed to regain some amount of composure, although nothing could be done about the tears streaming out of his eyes. “That’s not what they meant at all! They’re gay, not happy!”

“Isn’t that what gay means?” 040 was confused, and Henry and Bear weren’t far behind.

“No! Well, not any more at least! Now it refers to people who like to be with members of the same gender.” Scotsman said as he calmed down. “Just like there are people who only want to be with people of the opposite gender - like men who want to be with women and vice versa, there are also men who want to be with men, and women who like to be with women. Those people are called gay and lesbian.”

“Oh.” said 040, no less confused. “Why do they need to be proud of it? Do people who like different genders have these pride events too?”

"Oh, I see!" Said 040 after an hour. "So it's okay that I have these things written on me?"

"It should be fine." Scotsman reassured her. "You just want to help."

"Oh good!" She smiled. I actually quite like some of the things they've drawn - the Lambda is almost there, but it doesn't feel right."

"Right how?" Said Bear.

"As a name, silly! I can't be 040 forever, not on this Island - I just haven't been able to come up with anything."

"Oh." Bear said, remembering the reasoning behind his name. "What do you like about Lambda?"

"Dunno - it feels nice to say, but it's not me. Maybe there's some other words like it?"

The engines paused for a moment. "Do you mean like the Greek alphabet?" Scotsman said after a moment. "Alpha, Beta, that sort of thing?"

"I think so - I'm not sure what all the letters in it are - is Lambda a letter?"

"Yes, along with Gamma-"

"No."

"How about Theta?"

"No."

"Epsilon?"

"Too long."

"Omnicron?"

"Absolutely not."

"Omega?"

That's closer

"Iota?"

"Now you're just making things up!"

As Scotsman and 040 went through a Greek Primary school lesson, Henry and Bear eyed each other. They were both thinking about what Scotsman had said:

"Sometimes you might realize that you're gay later in your life, but most people tend to realize that they're gay once they become interested in people."

"What do you mean, interested?" 040 asked.

"I mean that - like - oh how do I put it?" Scotsman thought aloud. "Before I went to America, I hadn't been interested in anyone romantically or sexually, but once I got there, I realized that I quite liked engines of both genders!"

"You can do that?" 040 goggled.

"Oh yes!" Laughed Scotsman. "I didn't have them paint this triangle on my face because I supported gay rights - I had them do it because I'm gay! Well, actually I’m bisexual, but there isn’t a specific symbol for that!

“...Theta?”

“You said that one already!”

“There aren’t many more letters! What about Delta?”

“Oh! That sounds quite nice. Delta... Delltaa.” 040 rolled the word around in her mouth a bit more. “I do like the sound of that.”

And that was that. Bear was very happy for his friend, especially because he knew that if an engine didn’t choose a name, one would eventually be given to them!

Henry made a few affirmative noises, but was still lost in thought, a few concepts and ideas swirling around his smokebox.

“So...” He said to Bear. “Does that mean that we’re gay?”

“Goodness me,” Bear retorted. “Whatever would have given you that idea? Was it the fact that we’re both male, or that we're madly in love with each other?”

Scotsman’s jaw almost hit his bufferbeam!

#ttte #sodor #sodor shenangians #oc: delta #flying scotsman #ttte henry #ttte bear #ttte gordon #ttte duck #ttte oliver #gay rights #shipping #fools in love #fic #headcanon

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violetta-incorrect-quotes · 3 years

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Ima just do some headcanons for the (girl) characters finding out they aren’t straight

Violetta: Never really had a chance to feel something for anybody until she moved back to Buenos Aires. She spent most of her childhood either alone or making friends but having to leave a month afterwards. Violetta hadn’t even heard of the word bisexual until she came and thought having crushes on both the female villain and the male hero in her favorite show was normal.

She came to the studio and probably had a crush on Francesca since the first day but pushed it away as a friend crush. The two hung out a little and Violetta’s feelings developed more. Once at a sleepover with Camila and Francesca, Cami mentions something about thinking a few of the students are bisexual which prompts Violetta to think about herself more.

The summer in between season 1 and 2 is when she probably realized. Once she went to pick Francesca up and was overwhelmed with feelings is when she knew. She never really mentioned it and continued to live on but both of the girls tended to do things that you wouldn’t exactly do with just a friend.

Eventually one day Camila probably either locks them in a closet or tells one of the two to just confess already. She shoved them into the instrument room and locked the door.

Violetta knows what she meant but she isn’t sure if Fran does. Suddenly Francesca asked her if there’s something she needs to say and Violetta confesses that she’s bisexual. Francesca seems relieved and admits the same. Both of the girls have a little moment but nothing else, until their at Madrid that is.

Francesca: She never really bothered to label herself while younger. Had her first crush on a girl she met in Italy at a young age but she’d forgotten about it. Once she arrives at the studio, she meets Camila, who she assumed was bisexual from the moment she saw her. Francesca wasn’t really interested in figuring out who she was until Violetta came.

Obviously at the time she was into Tomás, but she couldn’t deny what she was feeling for Violetta either. It didn’t hit her until one night where Camila just tells her she should tell Violetta how she feels. Francesca hesitates and thinks about it but she never does.

Then she’s with Marco, who she really does love and care about but no matter what, she can’t forget Violetta. Once she broke up with Marco, she kind of felt free and got closer to Violetta who didn’t really notice.

Obviously, in Madrid they almost kissed but didn’t discuss it. Both of them knew the other was bi but had a mutual agreement not to mention it. Once they got back, Francesca and Violetta eventually sat down and talked over their feelings.

They agreed to having crushes on each other but decided to not take it further. There were a few times where one or the other wanted to make a move but held back. Although when Roxy and Fausta started, the two saw it as maybe a little chance to break free and possibly could have gone on a “date” as them.

Camila: She’s always had a great “gaydar,” (predicting Franletta, telling Fran to go for it, always noticing the tension between Naty and Ludmila etc...) but never really thought about it for herself. She’s always assumed she was straight but probably has had crushes on girls in the past and thought that’s how everyone felt. Although she’s always been interested in the LGBTQ+ community and knows a lot. One night over the phone (pre season 3) she brings it up to Francesca who’s like, “That’s not very straight.” And Camila’s more confused then ever, claiming “What are you talking about? Everyone does that?”

After Francesca’s explaining, Camila just kind of hangs up and thinks about it. She’s embarrassed at herself (especially for being the last one to realize it) but also kind of relieved. Now it makes sense. She thinks back to when she was testing with the different boys and realizes why. She stayed up most of the night to think about it and decided to label herself as Bisexual, which she’s very open about now and loves talking about it.

She probably went to the studio and realized how Naty acted around her which she just didn’t see before and realized she does the same thing, which lead to some awkwardness and Naty finally asking what’s wrong. Cami just kind of mumbled something and moved on. Her crush grew, which is when she also realized she kind of had feelings on Ludmila which confused her more.

Then she had to practice the kissing scene and she’s like “Ok, this is it.” Camila asked Naty who accepted and that’s where it happened.

She’s also the studios supplier of pride flags which she has a worrying amount of that she gives out in June but won’t reveal where they came from.

Ludmila: Has so much internalized homophobia she tells Naty in season one that she would rather die than date a girl. Naty doesn’t respond and draws back a little, causing her to go with Maxi which makes Ludmila unbelievably jealous.

All her life her mother has always told her to find a rich boy, and that girls shouldn’t marry girls. Ludmila took after that, probably why she didn’t like Camila originally because she always thought she was bisexual. Eventually Ludmila’s jealousy gets the best of her and she tells Naty that Maxi will just hurt her. Naty snaps, almost crying and tells her that she would do the same. Then she storms off, leaving Ludmila confused and hurt.

Once it hits around season 2, Ludmila’s started to recognize her feelings for Natalia but forces them away. She hates herself for it and has a few bad months where she just felt terrible and confused, leading her to come up with the idea to hurt Violetta, who she’s always admired and kind of crushed on but would never admit it. She kind of catches feelings for Camila which just makes her worse and she keeps so many of her emotions kept up she just snaps one night and doesn’t leave her room for a week. Eventually Ludmila realizes she never really felt the same way for a guy that she has for girls and her world is literally crushed. Federico was there to try to help her but she just lied and said she was done hurting people, never revealing the actual reason she was like this. She did like him but never in the same way.

Then it’s season 3. Ludmila becomes Violetta’s stepsister and her feelings for her are gone, but her ones for Naty and Camila grow. One night it’s probably 3:00 am and she’s sleep delirious and mentions to Violetta something about not knowing who she loved. Violetta gives her advice and tells her about how she was feeling. The girls never mention it again.

One day she and Naty are arguing and they both accidentally confess their feelings. Naty is shocked and Ludmila immediately regrets it, saying she could never be with a girl and runs, leaving Naty heartbroken. The day her mom is arrested though, Violetta urges her to go talk to Naty and Ludmila realizes she can finally be herself.

Natalia: Always admired her sister who wasn’t afraid to tell anyone who she was and was open to anything. She caught feelings for Ludmila around the end of season 1 and tries to push them away by being with Maxi. Eventually she confides in her sister who tells her to just be who she is.

Naty liked Maxi a lot, she still does. She’s always thought that was what a crush felt like, but in the end she realizes it was more one sided and platonic.

Knowing Ludmila would never be with her, she stays with Maxi in an attempt to maybe just forget her feelings but she never can. That’s when she catches feelings for Camila at the start of season 3 and now she’s more confused than ever.

She starts to hang out with Cami more. The two of them connect immediately. Naty realizes she’s only ever really crushed on girls and takes a few quizzes one night. She eventually decides she identifies as a lesbian and is terrified to tell anybody. She’s also poly.

Camila probably figured it out before her and Naty wasn’t sure what to do about it. Then they kiss, which is when she admits her feelings and Camila does the same. Naty really loves her but feels bad about it because she feels like she’s betraying Ludmila. Camila tells her that she needs to talk to her.

Once she does, Ludmila gets jealous but understands. She admits she has a crush on Cami too and Naty’s shocked. Eventually the girls figure it out and Camila brings them little matching pride pins .

I’ll do some for the boys later, or at least Diego and Leon but I don’t want this to be too long lol

#had the need to write these #I might go through and edit them since these were quick but idk #violetta #violetta castillo #francesca caviglea #camila torres #ludmila ferro #natalia vidal #pride #headcannons #bisexual #lesbian

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buildarocketboys · 3 years

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(For the pride themed ask) Flint and Anne Bonny? (I’m always curious about people’s interpretations of them 🤓)

Flint:

Headcanon for their sexuality

...bi? I honestly go back and forth between bi and gay for Flint and I'm equally cool with either interpretation, but my heart lies with bi Flint and Flinthamiltons ot3 soooo 🤷

Have they came out? If so, how

Ummm if we're talking canon, he's obviously out to Thomas and Miranda, which pretty much happened at the dinner scene lol, kissing a dude = not straight. But obviously being outed to Alfred and Hennessey was an extremely traumatic experience for him so he very much keeps it on the DL in Nassau and spreads rumours to the contrary (Miranda being his puritan wife) and only comes out to people he absolutely thinks he can trust/deserve to know the truth (Silver, obviously, but I think he would also come out to Eleanor especially once he figures out she's bi too). Post Thomas reunion I think he'd be quietly defiant about it so while he's not exactly running around like "I'm gay and Thomas is my husband", if someone sees him and Thomas sharing a moment of affection or questions them living together, well, James is intimidating enough that they don't face many issues because of it. He's earned that defiance and pride in his love ten times over - they both have

How their friends/family took their coming out

Uhhhh...well...yeah. Not great, at least with Thomas's family and James's "family" ie the closest thing he has to a father :( but Eleanor who's basically his daughter is like. Incredibly chill and whatever about it after the initial surprise/quickly concealed delight, like "Yeah, dad, isn't everyone?"

Do they go to Pride/With whom?

Modern AU he 100% goes with Thomas and Miranda

Do they show their colors? (Flag-wise)

Oh yeah all going on, face paint, flags, the works. He pretends to not be into it and that Thomas has to persuade him, but he totally loves it, loves an excuse to get a little flamboyant

Anne:

Headcanon for their sexuality

Lesbian, I think. Idk I haven't rewatched Black Sails in so long and Anne was never one of my top faves but I definitely see her as basically being platonically in love with Jack (and romantically in love with Max), and the great thing is, both of those relationships are equally important in her life (God I forgot how fucking good Black Sails is. Well I didn't, but this is just reminding me)

Have they came out? If so, how

She doesn't need to - everyone sees her and Max all over each other. And if anyone wants to say anything, well, she'd cut them, so they don't.

How their friends/family took their coming out

Once Jack figured out that Anne still loves him just as much despite not being in love with him, he's totally supportive (although there's still that semi antagonistic rivalry with Max, but they both enjoy it). Vane probably makes some dumb joke and then moves on, it doesn't matter to him. Everyone else is either really supportive/happy for her or doesn't really care.

Do they go to Pride/With whom?

Sometimes, but she jokes that it's for Jack's benefit, since despite being (nominally) straight, he's the campest and most flamboyant of them all - he belongs at Pride.

Do they show their colors? (Flag-wise)

Nah, she just shows up in her ordinary outfit, unless Max and Jack insist.

#meriida #asks #ask meme #black sails #Anne bonny #James Flint #thanks these are always fun ones

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anotheronechicagobog · 3 years

Text

The Crackship Sails To Molly’s - Jay Halstead x Ethan Choi

written by @anotheronechicagobog

A/N: Homophobia, the Catholic church, Catholic guilt, mention of canon-compliant violence, mention of two men having sex, it’s all pretty mild but I wanted to make sure it was all in the warnings, also I don’t like Doris and it shows

A/N 2: What do you guys think their ship name would be? Choistead? Haloi?

A/N 3: If you have a problem with LGBTQ people please go fuck yourself

They ran into each other at the last place they thought they would. Since Jay and Ethan had both been in the military, though in different factions, they figured they might run into each other at military events, they already had. But literally bumping into each other at an LGBTQ+ military personnel picnic? That shocked both of them. Ethan took notice of Jay’s pansexual flag pin and Jay looked at Ethan’s bisexual one. After the initial shock wore off, Ethan smiled, he was happy to know that he wasn’t alone in his social circle. Sure, Leslie Shay was a loud and proud lesbian, but they didn’t have anything in common and just made sure to say ‘hi’ whenever they ran into each other and buy each other nachos whenever they ran into each other at pride events (don’t ask, it just became their thing). Ethan went to give him a ‘dude hug’, as Leslie had dubbed them, when he noticed the fear etched onto Jay’s face. “Halstead, are you okay?” Honestly, he looked like he was about to burst into tears. “Jus- uhh” Jay hiccuped and Ethan was now justifiably worried. “Don’t tell Will.” And then Jay ran away from Ethan and the gentle arm he’d had on his shoulder like a bat out of hell. Jay could still feel the warmth of Ethan’s hand on his right shoulder as he drove away.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ethan didn’t tell Will. He didn’t give any indication that he knew something Will didn’t. He understood how important it was for him to keep quiet, but at the same time, it was so hard. Ethan wanted nothing more than to march up to the redhead and beat some sense into him. Will had obviously made to Jay that he wouldn’t be accepted if he came out. And he didn’t care, quite frankly. He had absolutely no sympathy for homophobes, he was done giving kindness and sympathy to people who wished that others wouldn’t exist because it deviated out of what they considered ‘normal’. So he’d gone back to being impassive and straight-faced. He pushed all of his feelings down because if he allowed himself to feel anything it would be complete and utter rage.

The next time he saw Jay was when he’d come into the ED to interview an assault victim. Apparently, there was a group of men catfishing and then assaulting LGBTQ+ men. Ethan’s heart ached just thinking about the case, all of the injured, betrayed victims. And Jay. Ethan didn’t want to know what was going through his mind, he probably viewed this as another reason not to come out.

The eye contact between them was brief, but Jay showed him vulnerability, and then thanks when Ethan gave him a sympathetic smile. Just trying to untangibley reach out and connect with his aching soul. And then suddenly it was gone, the grace that had bound the two of them temporarily, and Ethan had to watch with a sinking heart as Jay emotionally shrunk in on himself. “How’s our victim doing, Choi?”

“Not great, I’m afraid. He’ll live, but there’s going to be long lasting health problems for him.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Yeah, it is.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, after the catfishing homophobes were caught, Ethan ran into Jay outside of Molly’s. His eyes were dark, broad shoulders were slumped, and he moved like his mind possessed all the strength his body just couldn’t muster. “Hey Choi- uh, Ethan?”

“Yeah?”

“Could we go somewhere to talk? Maybe get a drink?”

“Well, we are standing outside of a bar.”

“Somewhere that’s not packed to the seams with nosey people who know who I... Don’t want to hear what I want to talk... About. Y’know what? This was stupid-”

“How about Osso’s? Over on Folger street? It’s not a bar, but I’m starving and their booths have curtains.”

“Yeah, that sounds great, actually, thanks.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I figured out that I was bi when I was fourteen. I was watching The Mummy for the first time and I couldn’t stop thinking about how hot Brendan Fraser was. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Rachel Weisz was hot too, but Brendan really got my attention. When the movie was over, uh, well let’s just say that my Catholic guilt took hold. My mom knew, I told her when I was seventeen, and she kept trying to set me up with her friends’ daughters. She didn’t care, just told me that she loved me and that there was nothing wrong with me, but that I shouldn’t tell my dad or Will. She didn’t sugarcoat anything, she took me to this secluded spot on the pier and told me about homophobia and how bad it was, not just morally, but that it ran rampant, and that my father and brother were two heavy believers in an institution who made it their mission to oppress as many people as possible. Looking back, I think my dad knew, don’t know how or if he actually does, it’s just more of a gut feeling. My brother is still incredibly Catholic, he’s become more accepting over time, but it’s clear that while he’s okay with strangers being LGBTQ+, he’s not okay with anyone he’s close to being anything other than straight. The, uh, my first time I was nineteen and it was during my rangers training, with one of my now best friends, who I dated during that time for a while. Everything kinda fell apart when we got discharged. Mouse or-”

“Greg Gerwitz. I remember him.”

“Yeah, we broke up after we were discharged. Well, he broke up with me. Neither of us were handling being back well but he was handling it worse. It hurt like he;;, I missed him so much. After I started in Intelligence I brought him in as a CI. I just wanted to know he was okay, be near him again. But he was not the same man I’d fallen in love with. He was an addict, had a record, a small one, but still. I broke my heart almost as much as our breakup did. A little later I got him a job as our tech guy. It was good having him around, especially cause he was coming back, y’know? He’d quit his habits, became a law-abiding citizen. It was great. Then, he asked me out, asked me to take him back, and I did. Without a second of hesitation. Being together again felt amazing, but then he got his record expunged, dumped me, again, and went back to the rangers. It completely tore me to pieces, I got time off and didn’t get out of bed for two weeks after he deployed. Uh, wow, sorry to unload all of that on you. And that was probably a lot of information you didn’t want to hear-”

“No, no, Jay. It’s actually nice to talk about this, even though I’m out and open, I don’t actually get the chance to talk about it all that much. I’d actually like to share if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, go ahead.”

“I was twenty-one when I figured it out. I was on brief leave in the navy, just a couple of days without duties while we were docked in Puerto Rico. I got pretty drunk, a guy I was dancing near was pretty drunk too, he kissed me, I kissed him back, and one thing lead to another. When I got back to port the next day, my friends all asked where I’d gone off to. I told them I got laid. It didn’t really hit me until the following night when I was in my bunk, lying awake because I couldn’t forget the feeling of his lips, or the callouses on his hands, or... Other quite honestly filthy details I probably shouldn’t share in a public place. I couldn’t sleep properly for two weeks, I come from a traditional Korean family. All I could think about was how they’d react. What would they do if they found out? I found out when I was twenty-nine. My sister, Emily, had somehow found out, and when she burst through the door, drunk off her ass, at the first Thanksgiving I’d been able to attend in five years, she announced it to everyone when I tried to calm her down and get her up to bed. The look, on my parents’ faces, I couldn’t even look at my grandparents. I just said sorry and ran out. I crashed at a fling’s place for a week. I couldn’t bring myself to pick up the phone or to go see them. I felt like someone had put my chest through a trash compactor, I couldn’t stop crying. I had lost my entire family in less than ten seconds. You know that subtle, back of the mind dread you feel when you’re boarding a plane for your next deployment? Normally, you push it away, accept it’s a possibility but try not to think about it. I welcomed it. I hoped I’d get killed, that I wouldn’t make it home. But then... My grandparents were at my gate. Their faces just lit up and they welcomed me with open arms. They both hugged me and made me promise to come home, not to be a hero. They gave me hope. They loved and supported me, went toe-to-toe with the rest of my family for me. I’ll never be able to thank them enough.”

“They sound really great, I’m glad that you have them.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Suddenly the heavy curtain closing off their booth from the rest of the world was pushed to the side. “Gentlemen, your food is ready. Who ordered the grilled salmon?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ethan and Jay had grown much closer, having bi-weekly dinners. Sometimes at Osso’s, sometimes at Bartoli's, sometimes at their own apartments. They’d become close, close friends. But because drama followed them around like a moth to a flame because it felt like they lived in an overly dramatic tv show sometimes, it couldn’t stay that way.

Jay started to watch Ethan when he licked his lips after he took a sip of a drink, when the muscles in his arms lengthened themselves when he reached for something, that twinkle he got in his eyes whenever he got cocky. Jay knew what was happening from the first moment he found himself looking at Ethan’s lips for more than a millisecond. He was falling in love. And all that he could do was loathe himself for boarding a vessel with impending doom.

Reasons I Can’t Fall In Love With Ethan

Will doesn’t know I’m bi

Ethan works with Will

Ethan is in the reserves and Mouse left me to go back to a warzone, it would kill me if it happened a second time

His ex, April, is currently trying to get back together with him

April also works with Ethan and Will

Ethan doesn’t love me so I’d just be ruining our friendship

Jay looked down at his list and recited it in his head, over and over again. He needed to memorize it, live by it. If he didn’t his entire world, which he just finally found comfort in again, would crumble to the ground.

Jay didn’t distance himself from Ethan, his heart wouldn’t let him, but it got harder and harder to ignore his ever-growing feelings. But he couldn’t tell Ethan, he couldn’t be with Ethan, he knew that far too well. So the next time Ethan confided in Jay that April had made a move on him Jay did something incredibly, fabulously, thoroughly idiotic. “You should ask April out, man. I think that you guys would be great together.”

Yup.

He actually did that.

Sigh.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright, who is she?”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on Jay, I’m your brother. I know you. The last time you looked like this and were drinking vodka, of all things, was when Erin left. You only drink vodka when you’re experiencing troubles of the heart.”

“I drank vodka when Mouse went back to the rangers.”

“After he’d broken up with you to go back to the same warzone he’d almost died in.”

Jay choked on his drink and felt his heart plummet out of his body and onto the floor. Burning tears blurred his vision and Jay felt more afraid than he’d ever felt in his life. He’d been shot at, blown up, shot at again, taken hostage, tortured, and he never felt this scared, this small. “Jay? Oh my god, Jay are you okay? Breathe, man.” But he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he breathe? Why was his chest so tight? Why couldn’t he move? Suddenly he was yanked off of his couch and onto the floor, his head shoved between his bent knees. “Deep breaths, Jay. Just take slow deep breaths, in and out, just like me... Okay... Good, name five things you can feel, four things you can see, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.”

“Uh... floor, couch leg, carpet, coffee table... you... Um, I, uh, I see...”

“Four things you can see.”

“Jeans, scrubs, crumbs, Kim’s wine stain... Hear, u-uh, Netflix, heating system, the Needlers arguing again...”

“Your neighbours sure do fight a lot, but you’re doing great. Keep going. Two things you can smell.”

“... Pizza and your terrible cologne...”

“Ignoring that, one thing you can taste.”

“Your terrible cologne. Seriously, Will, your supposed to spritz it, not douse yourself in it.”

“Well you’re feeling better, but you’re still shaking. You feel a bit cold, get back on the couch I’m gonna grab you a blanket.” Will was right, he was still shaking, and he felt cold to the bone. His heart was pounding so hard it was terrifying and his chest was still tight... But he was feeling better. Panic attack. He’d gotten them before, along with anxiety attacks, night terrors, and paranoia. All connected to his PTSD. He’d just never had a panic attack about his sexuality before, only about the action he’d gotten overseas and in Chicago. When Will returned with a thick fluffy blanket he’d gotten from Kim for secret Santa, the same night she’d made that wine stain on his carpet, Jay was on the couch and gripping his knees tightly, trying to get a grip on himself. Will had also brought Jay’s first aid kit and was checking him over, after he’d been wrapped up like a traumatized child, and Jay released a shaky breath, unable to look his brother in the eye before speaking at the same volume as a mouse. “How long have you known?”

Will stopped what he was doing and regarded his brother. Jay was older and had always been Will’s hero growing up but right now... He just looked like he needed a hug. “I’ve known since you were nineteen. You brought Mouse back to visit with you while you guys had leave and when mom and dad had work and I had school, you guys had the place to yourselves. I realized when I was a couple of minutes away from the house that I’d forgotten my lunch, so I went back to get it. When I walked in you guys were making out on the couch. You were really... into each other, you didn’t even notice me. I was gonna bolt to the kitchen and back... But then you took off each other’s shirts and started reaching for belts so I bolted. I love you, Jay, and I don’t care who you have sex with, but I never want to actually see it.”

“Jeez, I’m sorry we must have traumatized you.”

“No you didn’t, I would’ve reacted the same way if I saw you with a girl... Which we both know is true cause you and Erin had a very bad habit of not closing your bedroom door.”

“Sorry about that... If you’ve known all this time, why have you never said anything? I mean you used to make these weird comments about being related to gay people, but...”

“I thought that you needed to be the one to tell me. It was your closet to exit, I thought it would’ve been rude to force it. And about those comments, I don’t know, it’s just you never told me. More and more time passed, and from the letters you were sending mom I could tell you and Mouse were still together but you never said anything. I was trying to give you hints that I don’t care, your sexuality doesn’t matter to me. I love you no matter what. The only reason that I brought up any of this now, forced you out of the closet... I’ve never seen you like this. It rivals when you came back. You are hurting and I want to be there for you, but I can’t if you won’t talk to me, if you won’t let me in.”

“But I’m sinning. You’ve always been more devout than me.”

Will scoffed. “Have you been reading the news? The Catholic church really can’t decide what’s right and wrong considering all they’ve done and covered up. Plus, did you really think I was going to make all my life choices based on the teachings given to me by men who forced us to wear plaid suit jackets for elementary and high school? Really, I can’t wear plaid anymore, I don’t understand how you can tolerate it, I swear I’ve got plaid PTSD.”

“Well, maybe it’s cause I actually have PTSD and there are far worse things to go through than having to wear plaid to school every day.”

“That was a bad comment, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright... So you’re really okay that I’m bi?”

“As long as you're happy, I’m happy.”

“You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that and mean it.”

Jay was tearing up again, but this time they were happy tears. Will just wrapped his big brother in a hug and relished ina feeling of closeness that he hadn’t felt since they were kids.

“Okay, now seriously Jay, who’s giving your heart trouble?”

“I don’t know, Will...”

“As long as it’s not Connor Rhodes I don’t care.”

“Well...”

“Oh no-”

“Ha! Just kidding! Your face, seriously, what did that guy ever do to you?”

“We’re not talking about the man who thinks he’s smarter than me. C’mon, tell me who it is. Is it someone I work with?”

“It’s Ethan Choi...”

“You guys have been spending a lot of time together over the past year, so I can see that. And he’s pan, right? Yeah, I think that you guys would be cute together and I think he’s got a thing for you, honestly. Why don’t you ask him out?”

Jay fell back and groaned. “I told him to ask out April the next time she hits on him.”

Will just blinked and stared at his masochistic and self-sacrificing moron of an older brother. “Why would you say that?! You clearly like him! You idiot!”

“... I’m gonna need the vodka back if we’re gonna keep talking about this.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay felt like the weight he’d had on his shoulders was traded for another. He wasn’t worried about Will despising his existence anymore, but now he had to watch Ethan date April. And on top of all that, Will was always on his case about his miserably non-existent love life. So yeah, he wasn’t really enjoying his life at the moment. He was currently sitting up at the bar at Molly’s, avoiding ‘chexton’. He could hear April’s giggles and Doris squawking “you’re so perfect for each other!”, “I’m so glad you got back together!”, and “I call maid of honour!” over and over and over again. He knocked back the last of his beer when his phone buzzed.

Mouse: Hey Jay, I’m back on leave for a couple of days, just got off the plane. Want to meet up?

Jay: Sure, you up for a beer at Molly’s? I’m here right now.

Mouse: Actually I was thinking of a different kind of meet up. Your place? Just the two of us?

Jay: Sounds like a plan.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay and Mouse spent the two days he was home screwing each others’ brains out. That really was the best way to put it. Their time together was hot, heavy, and passionate. They wouldn’t get back together, no, but there was a bond there that would always remain. They’d both had tension that needed to be released and release it they did. Jay dropped Mouse off at O’Hare early on the third day. “Hey, thanks for this weekend. It was nice, it was good to see you again, Jay.”

“Yeah, you too. Stay safe Greg.”

“It’s Greg now?”

“You’ll always be important to me. You were the first man I loved, but you’ve left me twice. I need to move on.”

“It sounds like you already have. I’m happy for you, you deserve nothing but happiness, Jay. But, uh, should you have just spent an entire weekend naked with me if you’re with someone?”

“He doesn’t love me back.”

“Is he straight?”

“No, but he’s pan and got a girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry Jay. For your situation and everything else.”

“I know. Stay safe.”

“I will.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jay turned on his phone for the first time since he told Mouse to come over. He was met with an abundance of texts and missed calls. The texts were mostly from his colleagues, asking if he was going to be at Molly’s. A couple were from Will, asking if he wanted to get together to watch a game. The person who’d sent him the most texts and had made most of the missed calls was Ethan. Jay didn’t bother going through them all, he just sent his brother and Hailey quick text messages letting them know he was alive and would be at work on time, he’d just spent the weekend with a friend. He called Ethan as he made his way through the city. “Jay? Are you okay? Where have you been? I’ve been so worried, I called your brother and Hailey and none of them could tell me anything.”

“I was okay, I was at home the whole time.”

“But I went by your place, I knocked on your door, no one answered.”

“Oh, that was you? I thought it was Karen from down the hall. I was a little... Busy.”

“All weekend? Alone in your apartment? With no assigned case or old case that’s been bothering you?”

“Well, I wasn’t alone, actually.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Mouse was on leave for the weekend so he came over.”

“... You were alone with your ex-boyfriend for an entire weekend... Doing what?”

“Each other.”

“Damnit, Jay.”

“Eth-” And then Ethan hung up. Jay was confused and distressed, but he’d arrived at the district so his relationship with Ethan would have to wait. Well, friendship, not relationship.

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When Voight needed someone to go collect a statement from an accomplice at MED Jay’s reaction rivalled that of Katniss Everdeen. He was given a couple of odd looks, but he and Hailey made their way to the hospital, Hailey side-eying him the whole way. “Do you need to talk to Ethan?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“He hounded me for two days because you weren’t texting him back. He was really worried, Jay. What’s going on with you two? I mean, he was acting like...”

“Like what?”

“Like a worried boyfriend.”

“We’re not dating Hailey. Why would you think that?”

“Because you two look at each other the way Trudy and Mouch look at each other. Like you’ve hung the moon and the stars for each other. I don’t judge, Jay... You’re always really happy around him. I think you’d be good together.”

“He’s dating April.”

Hailey scoffed and rolled her eyes so hard her head rolled with them. “No, they’re not dating. She was acting like it, and Doris was yapping away about it on Friday at Molly’s, but Ethan was just quietly sitting there the whole night, he looked really uncomfortable honestly. A couple hours after you left he asked April if they could speak in private. It didn’t stay that way for long. Ethan had tried to tell her that he didn’t want to get back together and didn’t love her anymore, and she was upset, obviously. But it seemed like she understood. She hugged him and went to sit back at the nurses, but I guess she told them and Doris blew up, screamed at him, made a huge scene. April had to actually take her home. Ethan immediately came up to me and asked where you were.”

“Oh.”

“So you volunteered us to talk to him?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Ethan.”

“Can we talk, Jay?”

“Yeah, I’d really like that.”

“The doctor’s lounge is free, we can talk in there.” They entered the darkened gray room together, both feeling the tension between them. It felt strange to just stand there, in the middle of the room, and Ethan wasn’t meeting his gaze. So Jay sat down, hoping that Ethan would follow his lead. He did. “I’m sorry that I worried you.”

“Don’t apologize, I should actually be apologizing to you. You didn’t owe me an explanation, we don’t have the kind of... Relationship that warrants you letting me know when you’re going to disappear for a weekend with your ex. We’re just- We’re just friends.” Jay was silent for several moments, trying to think of what to say. How to phrase what he was feeling. There didn’t seem to be an eloquent way to phrase it, so he decided to just jump in and hope he didn’t get hurt. “I don’t want to be friends with you Ethan. I want to be more than that, I love you. I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but- I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I’ve been trying to distract myself, with Mouse most recently, but it didn’t work. It doesn’t change that I really want to kiss and date and be loved by you. Will you go out on a date with me?”

“Yes, there is quite literally nothing else I’d rather do. How about tonight, because I don’t think I can wait any longer. And I love you too.”

“I know that the wall behind us is basically just a window but I really want to kiss you-” Thankfully Ethan didn’t care about that, and gave Jay a kiss so incredible, he saw stars.

... And missed Hailey and Will high-fiving behind him.

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After informing the accomplice that he was being arrested for armed robbery, obstruction of justice, and public urination, Jay and his partner left MED. Jay was so happy he was practically vibrating as he skipped out of the hospital. His, highly amused, partner got into the passenger side of his truck and thumped his shoulder. “See? I told you that he likes you.”

“How did you figure out I’m not straight, anyway? I’ve... Played that pretty close to the vest. I only told Will a week ago.”

“You know Nico’s Diner over in Greektown?”

“Yeah.”

“My family owns it. I started working there when I was nine, I think? I worked there through high school and college. And I go there once a month to catch up with my brothers. You used to go there all the time with this guy and you’d hold hands and kiss him quite a bit, so I figured you were more than friends. I recognized you when I walked onto that robbery scene a couple years ago.”

“So you knew, this entire time, that I was bisexual and you didn’t say anything to anyone? Why not?”

“It wasn’t my place to tell Jay, besides, I didn’t know that you were bisexual, just that you liked men. I just spoke up now because you were really hurting Jay, it was so obvious, and it was obvious that Ethan was hurting too. I really hope that you guys are happy together.”

“Thanks, me too.”

“Soooo... Where are you gonna take Ethan on your big date?”

#One Chicago #chicago med #Chicago PD #ethan choi #jay halstead #ethan choi x jay halstead #jay halstead x ethan choi #will halstead #hailey upton #greg gerwitz #greg mouse gerwitz

20 notes · View notes

not-gae-cuz-i-like-straight-wae · 3 years

Text

WOW!!! Warning: there are some SERIOUSLY AWFUL HATERS out here on Tumblr!!! \(°o°)/

Okay, I don’t exactly know how to put this, but I’m gonna try anyway.

What I’m gonna talk about, happened yesterday, but I was kind of in a SHOCK because of it, so I totally didn’t know what to say... But I DO know that I’m INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED and also VERY MAD! Someone TOTALLY insulted me PERSONALLY and even told lies about me as well! It's completely unjustified. That much I know for sure. This person is so hateful, that even though I’m no hater, it’s kinda contagious and I feel like hating that person back. Especially after what all that already happened before the person did what he/she did. What a filthy TRAITOR!

So this person makes fan art and I was a great fan of it. I even had drawings of that person on my laptop lock screen and background. I knew they all were on his/her Tumblr page, but I had no account yet, so I couldn’t like the posts or something else. Eventually, after seeing more interesting stuff on Tumblr, I decided to create an account for myself. One of the first things I did, was following this person, liking a lot of his/her fan art and I wrote many kind comments in which I let him/her know how much I loved the art. I also sent some private messages to this person to tell him/her these things personally (and it were long messages, not just some short sentence like “I like your art”) and that I’d love to see more of the characters he/she drew. He/she replied with a “thank you” and said he/she would indeed make more and I said that I couldn’t wait.

Then (and this was yesterday) I looked at the list of the ones I follow and noticed there was one less. I went to our chat and from there I tried to go to his/her page, but I couldn’t manage to do that (which was because the person blocked me, apparently). I just looked up the page in the search bar and there I saw the message... IT WAS AWFUL. Not only the message itself, but also (and especially) the TAGS. This person was literally talking about ME and didn’t care a thing about letting me know that. It was absolutely disgusting to read it all and I was all like: “WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????!!!!!!!!!!” This person HATES and SCOLDS me, because (he/she said) I don’t support the lgbt+ community. Because I’m homophobic. The person said I’m not being oppressed for being straight... Like, WOT?!

Let me start off by saying this: YES, I don’t support the lgbt+ community, because that’s MY choice and MY opinion. I’m thinking for myself and nobody’s gonna tell me what I must think of anything! Exactly THAT is what annoys me the most! They all want to impose their opinions to me, with violence if it has to. They can’t even respect my opinion, but they expect me to agree with and support THEIRS??? Besides, almost the entire world is already supporting it all. Gay pride here, trans pride there. Those flags are everywhere! They’ve even got a WHOLE MONTH of lgbt+ pride now! Countless people praise and glorify - if not, worship - them and they’re gonna talk about oppression??? Come on, man! If it was all to have the same rights as straight people, to be equally treated as them, it would’ve been lgbt+ NORMAL, not PRIDE.

But that’s another story. What I’m REALLY ANGRY about, is THIS:

I LITERALLY have written on my page that I’m NOT homophobic or something alike. LITERALLY! And I’m not! In fact, I know quite a few gay people and I never got into a fight with them because of it. I may not agree with you on several things, but if you wanna be gay, go ahead! That’s not my problem. You do what you do, but let me do what I wanna do as well. And don’t go bothering me, telling me I have to find this normal and that normal... However, now even THAT isn’t enough anymore! I must support it or some people will hate me, apparently! Anyway, does this person really think I’m BLIND or something? Or PLAIN STUPID maybe??? Well, guess what... I’M NOT. I already had SEEN posts of this person about lgbt+ pride. Did I scold him/her? No. Did I talked bad words about him/her behind his/her back? No. Did I sent private messages to him/her in which I expressed my hateful feelings??? NO!!! But what I DID do, was following this person, liking his/her content and saying many nice things about his/her art. And then you go talking about me like THAT? I 100% don’t get it. Like, seriously, WHAT THE???!!!

Of course, after reading the (very personal) message, I immediately changed my laptop’s lock screen and background. How I wish I could delete this person’s page from my internet...

I thought it would perhaps happen in the future. The far future. But it seems it’s already reality today: you can’t say you’re straight anymore! Because that’s THE ONLY THING I did. My username: not-gae-cuz-i-like-straight-wae. Do I say I hate homos? (Yes, here we go again.) No! My profile picture/the name I use for my drawings: straight weh/straight wayzzz. Do I say I hate homos? Again, no! The title: this blog is not geh. Do I say I hate homos? Once again... No! The banner: hetero pride. Do I say I hate homos??? NOOOOO!

I SAID HETERO PRIDE AND IT APPEARS THAT BECAME AN ILLEGAL THING TO SAY. WELL, I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN: I FIND IT QUITE NORMAL TO BE HETERO, BUT I’M HAPPY TO BE NORMAL.

You know, I actually COULD feel oppressed for being straight now, because this person basically discriminated me for merely saying it! (By the way, there was someone else like that and he/she started to spam long texts and pictures in our private chat, saying he/she was streaming it to Discord. I’m pretty sure that isn’t even allowed! Eventually, I had to block that fool.) I’ve seen so many usernames that included “gay”, “lesbian”, “bi”, “trans”, etcetera, but when I include “straight” in my username, I’ve committed a terrible sin, according to some people! These things are seriously happening, but I still can’t believe it...

Someone choosing to be gay may be none of my business, but I also never said a hard word about it. Just that I DON’T support it unlike almost everyone else these days. And why would you give a darn crap about what I think, huh??? There are MILLIONS of people to back you up!!! Often, I only need to turn my head to see another lgbt+ supporter. I can’t even watch TV anymore without flags turning up on the sides of the soccer field or sometimes even in the stands! So what the FRICK are you whining about??? (Maybe I’m talking to you specifically, maybe I’m not, but I’m pretty sure you’ll know if I do.)

At first, I was shocked by the message and I gotta be honest, I was really SAD too. It came so unexpected and definitely not on the right day (my birthday, I’ll have you know... no joke, I couldn’t even celebrate it due to my school tests, but then I was taking a break after some studying and I do had to see THAT message). I suppose it hurt me more than it should have. But well, the longer I think about it, the more happy I am you showed your true self. The HORRIBLE and RUDE person you are. The truth is one of the most important things in life and I’m glad to have found it out once again. The last thing I want to say, is that I’m not hateful towards those you claim I am hateful to, but now, I DO despise YOU.

#you can f off yourself #stupid morron #i'm sorry y'all for having written a message like this #but some toxic person posted a very rude message about me #and i had to do this #i was just being friendly to this person #complimented him/her for his/her drawings #and then this #no #i won't accept that #if i'm being friendly to you #and then you post a message #addressed to me personally #as loathsome as that person's message #you will get it back #straight in you face #so please #don't be a jerk

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thatonend · 4 years

Note

💗 i would like to know more about you fren

:DD awesome!! I'm just gonna say a few facts that I've probably said a million times and I'll say them again-

I have adhd

I'm 14

snakes are the best pet, even tho I've never had one

cats are better than dogs

I am an undiagnosed insomniac

same with adhd and my mild depression and social anxiety

I do art that turns out really bad, especially humans

I write fanfics but then I lose motivation and totally forget about them

plus they're shit anyway

I roleplay Sanders Sides, mainly, but I'm up for some Supernatural too

the best show in existence is Supernatural, Sherlock coming in a close second

Sanders Sides is amazing

I really wanna roleplay a Sanders Sides au with Supernatural like two of the sides are brothers and ya get it

I'm asexual, possibly just graysexual

I'm Polyamorous

I'm polyromantic

I have one partner, Grey

I live with my three brothers who are 9, 17, and 21

I have no sisters

I'm agender and use they/them pronouns

I live with both parents

I tend to stay in my room most of the day, only coming out when I'm forced to or for meals

I go to sleep any time from 9pm-6am and sleep until 7am-12pm

but it's going to end up being 10am bc my parents won't let me sleep in later anymore

I will not drink hot coffee or tea, only iced

I despise Brussels sprouts

I call myself and my bf gay constantly

I make gay jokes

I'm not supposed to date until highschool but I said fuck that I'm getting a jf in 8th grade and a bf a few months later

I live in the USA

I live in the Midwest where I end up saying "ope" alot

I don't have an accent from my state

not a sports fan, regardless of pretty much everyone else liking the Vikings

I've driven down to California for vacation last summer, it took 10 days to go there and back as we went camping too and saw Mt Rushmore

I'm 90% sure my little brother is going to be gay

I have dyed my hair purple and want to dye it green or red next time

I have an undercut

my bangs are basically a mohawk

I have glasses

I read fanfiction for a living

I don't have a job nor money

I want to make art and sell it but I can't do art

I like to paint alot, usually just pride flags

I make custom wallpapers for people and I'm making pride wallpapers for pride month (I'll be posting them eventually)

I say "that's gay" with everything

I am afab

I used to use the name Jay but I've decided I like Killian better

Killian can be shortened to K, Kill, Killi, or anything you can think of

my bfs bf calls me Jay KKK bc he once when "Jay-kil-kill-killian-" so yeah

I'm closeted about my agender to my family because I have transphobic siblings

I've told my parents I'm lesbian and turns out that was a lie

I have 2 straight friends and that's it

my favorite color is blueish green

I am allergic to cats, yet I have one

I will read any Sanders sides, Sherlock, or Supernatural fanfic you throw at me. Harry Potter too

I'm willing to make friends of all types

I overshare online yet hide everything irl

I love getting asks as I usually don't get them very often except last night I was bombarded with asks and I was so confused bc y'all actually wanted to ask me things

I may do fanfic requests if y'all want

if you do the 👽 emoji in an ask I will let you know what you remind me of whenever, doesn't matter how far down my dash it is I will do it

I'll cheer you up in any way I can

I put others above myself, it's an issue

I get confused when people say they talk about me or think about me or even like me

like people actually mention me?? they care about me?? what is this??

especially when it's people I've never even met irl

I live about an hour away from current events happening in uh Minneapolis

I prefer winter when it's 30°F and I'm able to go outside with shorts and a t-shirt and not be dying from the heat

I go to Public school

going into freshman year this year

online learning is how I procrastinated everything until the last day when I somehow ended up with only one missing assignment

I took Spanish this year and I hated it so I'm doing ASL next year

I play flute and sing pretty much any part in choir, tenor through soprano but usually I'm alto

Aladdin is the best Disney movie

when I'm sad or empty I listen to mcr or Virgil's playlist

I hate spiders unless they're tarantulas or anything not inside my house

my room is in the basement

I usually only go on tumblr when I check notifs and then end up scrolling my dash for hours bc I totally forgot I was doing something else

I am on almost every single social media you can think of

I have multiple OCs, feel free to ask about them

Kayla, she/her, trans

Sil, ne/nem/nir, trans non-binary

Esma, she/they, demigirl

Veronica, she/he, bigender

Jupi, it/its, agender

I'll probably make more too

look at photo below bc I'm pinning this instead of that post-

I'll probably end up adding more since I'm going to pin this bc idk I feel like y'all want to know about me if you don't I'm sorry but too bad

below is another photo for rp details, yes it's a different theme dwi [[not doing any roleplays rn I'll link the post in a minute below]]

300 dtiys below

more details, mainly bc i get sad :( ↓↓

#about me #about killi #*picks up the phone* killian speaking?#(making tags easier for me)#save #art save #future save #writing save #char save #fanfic save #reading save #killi wants asks #ts save #long post

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marmolady · 4 years

Text

Pride

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Diego x Varyyn, Estela x MC

Summary: (Endless Ending– set after my longer fic, ‘Broken Chains’, if you’ve not read it, assume a happy ending). Surrounded by a barrier of friends, Varyyn joins Diego as they march in their very first Pride parade.

Word Count: 1588

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @greengroove

Reviews and reblogs are hugely appreciated!

Cloaked in a dark hood, at odds with the popping attire of near everyone around him, Varyyn was wide-eyed with fascination as he stepped out of the Northbridge train station, Diego at his side. The streets were awash with colour, hues that were draped over countless flags, banners, even the skin of revelers.

Diego grasped his husband’s hand tightly. He was awash with emotion; anxiety at having Varyyn surrounded by so many people, but more than that, a feeling of belonging that he’d craved for as long as he could remember.

“This is it, Varyyn,” he uttered hoarsely. “Happy Pride!”

“I am always proud to be with you, my love.”

Taylor was grinning like an idiot-- for her, too, this was a first, as it was for Estela with whom her fingers were entwined. “We’ve got this, Diego, the rest of us should be enough of a barrier to stop anyone from looking at you two too closely.”

Giving his best friend a warm smile, Diego nodded. That he’d been touched to have ten friends putting themselves out there to give him the kind of Pride experience he’d wistfully imagined was an understatement. They had his back. “Yeah, we got this.”

He looked around. Friends surrounded him on all sides, dressed in their colours or else proudly wearing ‘ally’ pins. To think he’d felt so alone before--

“Hey!” Craig exclaimed, “If anyone gets to close to our V-Dog, I can pull off a killer diversion. I’ve been practising my moves for weeks…”

“It’s been fucking torture to watch,” Zahra said. “But, yeah, your dancing will scare anyone off, I’ll give you that.”

As they marched on with the parade, the smile on Estela’s face just grew broader. She’d never had a chance to do anything like this in San Trobida, and probably she’d have steered clear of all the fuss anyway. Since returning from La Huerta, her sexuality, the identity that came with it, meant a whole lot more. On La Huerta, no one gave a damn, and she hadn’t bothered herself with labels. Today,though, her wrist was adorned with a pink, yellow and blue bracelet.

“I didn’t know you identified as pansexual?” Quinn queried warmly. When they’d discussed these things previously, Estela had always been vague-- which had always been accepted without hesitation; but it seemed something had changed.

Estela nodded. “I didn’t think I wanted a label, but then I thought… words have power. They can make you visible. I like who I am, how I love; a lot of people where I’m from struggle with that because for so long they had to hide. Visibility is important.”

“That’s my wife! Fighting the good fight and making the world less shit, one PDA at a time.” Taylor jumped to give Estela an enormous smooch, delighting in the happy squirm she caused.

“So, uh,” Estela tried to continue, whilst her love continued to pepper her face and neck with kisses, “basically, I just… find some people attractive. And I don’t think it would have mattered if Taylor was a guy or a girl or both or neither. She’s my person. It was a weird feeling, like something deep inside me knew.”

“Aw, ‘Stel!” Taylor gushed. “As for me? Basically, I’m gay as the day is long. Useless Lesbian: Alien Edition.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Zahra scoffed. “You’re a walking fucking stereotype. If there were U-Hauls on La Huerta, maybe you wouldn’t have even needed to get hitched after what… how many weeks? Three? Four?”

Diego was quick to swoop to his friend’s defence. “Hey! La Huerta rules apply! Way too much wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff to untangle.”

Quinn smiled warmly. It wasn’t the first time she’d been to one of these events, nor even the third or fourth, but to be surrounded by the friends who’d become her family made for a very different experience. She was not alone, dodging pitying whispers while she tried to embrace a side of herself that was so much more than ‘the dying girl’. And now, she had Michelle.

“Life can be over so fast; if you care for someone, there’s no shame in putting yourself out there and showing it.” She gave Michelle’s hand a squeeze, and they exchanged an affectionate glance. “Being trapped at the end of the world can do a lot to put things in perspective. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m living without regrets. Who I am is who I am; and that includes the pieces I wished I could hide from.”

Grace looked to her friend with admiration. “That’s very brave, Quinn. Sometimes accepting yourself can be the hardest thing.” Especially when the people you love can’t look at the true you and do the same. “Honestly, you’ve helped me a lot.”

Walking beside Diego, Varyyn was beginning to see why they called it ‘Pride’; he could feel it emanating from his husband, creating a warmth that had nothing to do with the sun beating down. And the smile on Diego’s face? Varyyn was sure he’d not ever seen anything quite so beautiful. Though careful not to peer to far out from his hood, he took the time to look over each of the different coloured flags and ask about each one. A young woman jogged past, wearing a cape of black, grey, white and purple-- the same design that was plastered across Raj’s shirt.

“Raj,” he queried, “ I believe Diego told me about your colours. It is for… ‘ace’? For no romantic partners?”

“You got it! Basically, I get all the love I need from my bros. I never really felt like anything was missing, you know?”

“I understand. It’s not something my people have a word for, though I know several friends who have always felt the way you do,” he said, thoughtfully. “So much of this we don’t have words for; we just… be. I appreciate your sharing with me. And I am very grateful to be one of your bros.”

The whole experience was vastly different to anything that could exist among the Vaanti. Sexuality and gender was of so little consequence; there had never been much weight put on words and labels, there were no expectations that it be necessary. By the generally agreed upon human terms, Varyyn supposed he might call himself ‘pansexual’ as Estela did. The rainbow flag, though, was his favourite. In it he saw the jubilation of making it through a storm to something beautiful. Appropriate it was, that it meant so much to Diego, as he stepped out unafraid and loved. Varyyn looked at Diego, his husband, the love of his life; surrounded by a wall of friends, laughing on Taylor’s shoulder. He was truly radiant.

Varyyn put a hand on Raj’s shoulder. “Could I ask a great favour of you?”

“A personal favour for the elyyshar of the Vaanti? I think I can swing that….”

Taylor was chuckling as she ruffled her best friend’s hair. “So, how is it? Everything you dreamed of-- if you’d even dreamed you’d have the Knights’ bi legend Sean Gayle as part of your pride posse?”

“Pretty sure Past Diego would think you’d hit your head too hard if you’d tried to tell him this was coming. I mean, the time travel, the monsters, my best friend being some sort of knockoff ET, are unbelievable enough, but these kind of squad goals…? I…” Suddenly, he found himself choking up. If it was a life-altering adventure, he’d got it. What was left at the end of it was something that could never be truly grasped by outsiders, some bond, sacred even, that had helped him find his own strength. As he struggled to come to grips with the tatters that remained of his family life, it was that strength that would keep him afloat, and that bond that would see his heart start to heal. “I… didn’t think this feeling was possible for me.”

And Taylor hugged him tight. “You’d better get used to it, because you’re stuck with us. You deserve this. Just for being you… and also for being the world’s best wingman. The best thing that ever happened to me happened because you helped me believe in taking a leap. Diego Soto, I will never not owe you one,” she laughed.”So, for my next trick, I will pass you off to someone who wants his arms around you even more than I do. You’re welcome.

With a wink, Taylor spun Diego into Varyyn’s waiting arms, which draped an enormous rainbow flag around the two of them.

“My love,” Varyyn crooned, “you bring my world more beauty than I believed possible. You showed me hope and light in my darkest hour. Diego, you are my rainbow.”

Cloaked in a fluttering of multicoloured fabric, they kissed, long and tender; the pounding of music and marching, the chants of ‘Variego!’ fading far into the background, beyond their own private euphoric celebration.

Varyyn came away slowly, his expression warm as he stared into a look of fierce affection. How could he ever have dreamed what had been held in store for him, when this lion-hearted storyteller was beyond anything Vaanu had yet shown him. A whispered ‘I love you’ from his beloved Diego set his heart, once again, all aflutter, dancing like the rainbow flag around their heads. “And I love you.”He quirked an eyebrow. “Best Pride ever?”

Diego gave a short laugh and pecked a kiss to his love’s gentle lips. “Best Pride ever.”

#happy pride y'all #endless summer #variego #diego X varyyn #playchoices #mlm #wlw #estela x mc #estela montoya #diego soto #varyyn #raj bhandarkar

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theleagueof13 · 4 years

Text

Reacting to 1 Star SGE Reviews

Note: All of these are from different people!

Okay, so I’ve personally never seen any gay characteristics in Agatha?? Does goth = gay ? Maybe it was because Agatha was bullied and outcasted?

please reblog with “gay” traits that Agatha apparently has because that went completely over my head

Also since when did Soman Chainani make award-winning gay pride films?? I NEED TO SEE THEM NOW.

And girl... I feel so bad for you. Wait till you find out they’re sisters.

I do kind of understand the criticism of fat-shaming? But it didn’t really stand out to me. Soman was probably trying to throw in some satire/commentary, I don’t know.

First of all:

Tedros raised some red flags but it was rounded out by TLEA anyway so it wasn’t a problem for me.

Second:

WHERE DO PEOPLE KEEP INTERPRETING AGATHA AS A LESBIAN??

W H E R E.

Seriously, I have no idea, someone enlighten me.

Third:

The whole point was that Agatha changes her mindset and accepts herself. I shouldn’t even need to explain this part.

LMAOOO Fantasy Mean Girls.

I think the “changing motivations” issue was with the Coven, because first they made fun of Sophie, then helped her win Tedros over, and at the end they were on Agatha’s side. I don’t exactly remember the reasons why, but it made sense to me because 1. they were just trying to get Sophie out of Evil and 2. they understood the bigger picture of defeating Sophie.

This is so funny because I’m imagining this guy ranting and spitting in my face. He is Extremely Pressed. The rest of his review was something about stereotypes and wrong messages and confusion of the plot.

My Review of These Reviews:

There were a lot of other... opprobrium that I didn’t include just because they went on and on for so long. Here were the points I found interesting:

Sophie is stupid, annoying character and Agatha should’ve left her when she had the chance.

I can 100% see why many readers would hate Sophie. But she was my favorite character and still is!

Agatha did a 180 on her personality. There was no good reason for her to date Tedros when she hated boys for a majority of the book.

I think that whole “Agatha blushes and gets nervous around Tedros” scene was unnecessary. And her hypocrisy killed me the first time I read SGE, but I knew that was the lesson Soman was going for. I wish she kept her witchy side though, Agatha’s character is getting worse and worse with every book (in the Camelot Years).

Someone said that it rubbed them the wrong way when the wolf captured Sophie, undressed her, then clothed her again? Something like that?

Was it the Beast in the Doom Room (who was supposed to punish and humiliate her... god I see the implication). PLUS, Sophie described Stefan with a wolf mask?? That is very... uh. Are they thinking what I’m thinking? Not to mention that Hort, known simp, is a man-wolf. Jesus.

This is not appropriate for ages 8 and up.

I agree with this. I’m pretty sure Soman forgot that they were 12 years old, because picturing CHILDREN in romantic relationships is uncomfortable, especially when they’re acting AT LEAST 16. The amount of dark themes are pretty surprising, but I’d read much darker books before so I didn’t care. If Soman simply aged them up (and made it even darker, though that’s a personal preference) parents wouldn’t feel so misled and angry.

#the school for good and evil #goodreads #reading bad reviews

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asagimeta · 5 years

Text

Batwoman: Don’t Believe All The Negativity

So Batwoman premiered tonight

It's about an out-and-proud lesbian, played by an out-and-proud lesbian, with several major cast members- INCLUDING the main love interest- being POC, and it's very gay, this is not your "Power Rangers- let me quietly hint at being gay for One Scene and never mention it again" type of representation, there's lots of kissing, "I love you"s, goofy initial carvings, and serious issues like homophobia in the military and lying about your sexuality to avoid persecution

This is Tumblr bait if I've ever seen it so imagine my surprise when I barely get a few scrolls into the tag and already see people hating on it for not being queer enough because Sophie is married to a man

Hahahha..... I'm pissed

Allow me to advise ya'll to sit down as I explain why this is the OPPOSITE of a problem

First of all I cannot believe that on TUMBLR of all websites I actually have to explain to people that being in a heterosexual relationship- even married- does not automatically cancel out your queer ship

Shows have been putting their charectors through divorces and widowing for decades and it isn't going to stop now, in fact, I'll be THOROUGHLY surprised if The Husband makes it to see the end of the season

But I digress

We'll come back to shipping later because right now I'm going to tackle the biggest problem I have with these "You guys are making her straight!!!!" posts I keep seeing: CLOSETING. DOES NOT. ERASE. QUEERNESS.

I cannot believe I actually have to say this at the home of ships like Destiel, Sterek, and whatever the fuck legion of ships that Voltron produced but being in a straight relationship does not make someone less queer, ESPECIALLY if the relationship is fake, and ESPECIALLY if they have been ALREADY CANONICALLY SHOWN TO BE QUEER

Look I ship Destiel and Sterek and Supercorp too but "closeting" is a THEORY for these ships- with Sophie, it's CANON, she was in a canonical relationship with another girl where she kissed her and said she loved her and planned a future with her and the only reason she's not still with that woman is because was threatened to be kicked out of the military for it, I cannot process how the home of "They're in a straight relationship because they're closeted" is actually trashing this

But even THAT'S irrelevant because I can already hear some of you screaming that you don't ship any of those things but listen to me: Closeted charectors are just as important as out-and-proud charectors are

We live in a world where people are STILL being murdered for their sexuality every single day, where kids are still being sent to conversion therapy, still being kicked out of their houses, still being forced to be in straight relationships out of fear for their LIVES if they aren't- and fear for their jobs, their families, and everything else

I bought my first pride flag yesterday and hung it up today and legitimately my first thought was "gee, I hope this doesn't attract any crazy Trump supporters who are going to light my house on fire" but I did it anyway because I have supportive parents and have NEVER made my sexuality a secret and anyone who talks to me for ten minutes is PROBABLY going to hear atleast 1 "lol I'm bi" joke and I haven't been threatened with bodily harm for it YET so I figure I'll atleast probably live through the night

Other people aren't that lucky

For as important as it is for out people to have our Kate Kanes, it's JUST as important for closeted people to have their Sophie Moores

Please don't take away from the fact that the CW is trying to give that to people just because it means The Ship isn't happening Right Here Right Now

Please don't try to take away Sophie's queer identity because of being closeted

This plot development gurantees us atleast a season of Sophie exploring her identity and circling back to the question of "Do I really value being a member of something that's going to hate me for who I am over the woman I love?", we're going to have a season of her exploring what her identity means to her and we're going to get a really great juxtaposition between one lesbian who's out and proud and telling the story of pining for a lost love and how to navigate Queer Problems being out, and another who's closeted and afraid and in love but doesn't think she can return and how to navigate Queer Problems being closeted

That's GREAT??????

Why are ya'll complaining??????????

That's not something that we get very often???????

Also by arranging Sophie's story this way the CW is trying to AVOID giving us the same problems we always complain about like tokenism and Burry Your Gays, let's be totally honest here, if Kate and Sophie started off in a happy relationship and stayed that way through the beginning of the show, then for Conflict Reasons something way worse was going to have to come along and ruin that- like, you know, probably death? Or cheating, or a petty fight, or Sophie being evil....

This gives us a really NUANCED reason for why there's a story of pining and trying to get back to eachother here

Much like Alex and Maggie in Supergirl, the writers were clearly trying to take care to give us what we needed from a plot standpoint WITHOUT shoving gross stereotypes and tropes down our throats or making one person out to be The Bad Guy in the relationship, because yes you can read Sophie that way, but I think anyone who's ever been closeted can probably sympathize with her about this, esepcially as we don't know the nature of her home life, yes she signed the Gay Lie Document so she could be in the military but we don't have any indication that that was her only reason for giving Kate up so easily

For all we know, going home with Kate may not have ever been an option to begin with

And it's really hard to blame someone for risking their life and the life of their partner for wanting to be Out, especially if they were raised to believe that queer = bad, but I'm getting off topic

Instead of doing what alot of superhero stories do and fridging Sophie- making Kate's reason for doning the cowl to be revenge for her dead lover, they gave us somethin much tamer, something that will last all season but without lowering the number of main queer charectors on the show, they used the same trope that The Straights always use about becoming a superhero For Love but they did us one better because The Girlfreind isn't dead like she would have been in.... SOME.... stories....

But I promised to get back to shipping and here we go-

Aside from the fact that they're priming The Husband to get killed off early on just by virtue of existing (an unimportant charector who will greatly emotionally impact the love interest and create an opportunity for her to pursue the main protagonist, possibly even becoming a hero or a vigilante in her own right for revenge) there's also the fact that Sophie is hardly Kate's only chance at a relationship

If I'm not mistaken, they've already cast Renee` Montoya, and Maggie Sawyer already has an established charector in the Arrowverse too, so if the actress ever wanted to dip her toes back into the superhero waters, she could appear for a bit of time as well- wich would also be prime subplot territory for the next crossover, considering her history with Alex Danvers on Supergirl

So even IF they damned poor Sophie to Straight Hell for the rest of eternity- and I HIGHLY doubt that- do you really think that a show on the CW that opened with a love story is just going to let it's lead go without a love story for the foreseeable future...?

They're giving us a queer-lead show, wich means that it's going to be open to the same "UGH" romance moments that every other show on TV has, they're probably not going to give us an easy ride just because this one is gay like we get out of the background relationships in other shows where the leads are straight and I honestly appreciate that

Sure, I'd love if Kate got the Yuri On Ice treatment where she was able to maintain a steady romance through the entire show with only very short-lived, very easy-to-resolve conflicts ever denting it- I'd love that for alot of shows actually, imagine all of the plot that could get done if the relationships weren't being killed off or broken up every five minutes- but I appreciate as a queer person that she's probably going to get a gallery of love interests just like every STRAIGHT protagonist gets and I'm happy for her, in that respect

But my point in all of this is just that... guys... we finally have it

We have a show lead by a queer actor playing a queer charector who isn't going to get straight-washed or muted down the line because issues of homophobia and her sexuality are coming up in the very first episode.... and ya'll are complaining because her love interest is in the closet and married to a dude to stay that way as if that ever stopped any ship on any show ever??? Really?

TL;DR: Batwoman is great and if she and Sophie WERE in a happy and stable relationship ya'll would just complain about the show being "boring" and not actually working to examine queer relationships so I guess there really is no winning with the people on this website

#Batwoman #Sophie Moore #Kate Kane #lgbtq+#Batwoman spoilers #DC #Arrowverse

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maxbernini · 4 years

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I would love to hear any lamifex headcanons you have

ask and you shall receive!! it is deeply embarrassing how often i think about characters we know maybe three things about canonically, so i’ll try and not make this too long:

as seen in the char clip, la mif still drink around lola, but post-rehab they’re more cautious about it. they’re definitely not the type to get super fucked up when drinking anyways, but it might be a little weird at first, them walking on awkward eggshells, before she tells them it’s fine, she isn’t going to be tempted, and sekou’s like “we care about you”, and lola is very pleased to hear that but kinda covers it up with a fond eye roll and says, “still. you don’t need to change for me.” and then max, with his own version of the fond eye roll, says “fine we’ll go ahead with our rager then.” and she thinks he’s joking and he is being vaguely snarky but he’s also not lying: it’s just that a lamifex rager involves the fruitiest drink you can think of, karaoke and political debates occurring loudly at the same time, and sleeping bags on maya’s apartment floor. (she offers them the couch/blankets etc but jo, semi-offended she’s not getting the bed, is like: “no if you’re forcing us - your best and dearest friends - to rough it out like peasants, we’re going to commit to the role.” she says a lot of film-esque things like that - committing to the role, etc - ever since they finished filming l&o and eliott bewilderingly approved of her ninja princess script idea).

anyways by default mayla become the designated drivers / Mom Friends in the group, and lola finds herself...maybe not completely enjoying taking care of people, especially when they’re drunk and messy, but there’s something nice about being the dependable one occasionally, and she likes filming the dumb things they say. the group chat the day after sleepovers/parties is FUN.

when i say “designated driver” i do not mean that literally because i do not get driver vibes from maya AT ALL. idk how the hell she got lola home from the club that one time, but she did not drive. sekou, max and jo can all drive, although nobody wants jo to drive because then she’d be in charge of the music.

they go to political rallies together!! they make signs together, sekou helps plan the safest routes, and they all have connections to various groups: trans groups, lesbian feminist groups, Black activist groups, autistic advocacy groups. they’re literally the most connected people in paris, and jo jokes about knowing the mafia too. lola does not know if she’s actually joking or not, and doesn’t ask.

they definitely go to pride together and i’m manifesting the cast going next year too. they all wear their various flag colours. sekou wears rainbow suspenders, max tugs him closer by them; lola is maybe overwhelmed by her first pride so maya holds her close, and jo is once again disgusted by the single-phobia of it all.

i’ve said it before but sexuality/gender wise i view them as: max (bi trans man), sekou (cis gay man), jo (bisexual, nonbinary), maya (cis lesbian), lola (cis lesbian). age wise i view them as sixteen (lola), seventeen (jo, max, sekou), and eighteen (maya). i have no astrology headcanons as i sadly know nothing about the zodiac, but franceslashtv said months ago that lola’s a scorpio and maya’s a cancer, so do with that what you will.

so in terms of ages, i think they gently bully maya for being the oldest all the time, calling her a grandma on her birthday, buying her a plastic walking cane before her real gift. but it is very loving, it’s not the “gentle bullying that is actually just being mean” thing that people on tumblr love doing lol. i think when someone gets upset, they take it seriously and learn from it. and as seen in that first urbex party clip, they definitely have a lot to learn re: sekou’s info-dumping.

idk how the french education system works but sekou is interested in art history and IT, he does commissions online but only charges the rich people like if your ex has posted revenge p*rn then he’ll hack them for free etc. max likes music but is thinking practically so picks up some law classes and eventually falls into advocacy & policy; he likes cinematography after l&o and makes films/songs for community groups. jo likes art and maths and thinks about combining it into architecture but says she’s “keeping her options open”; lola likes science and dabbles in freelance photography before making it a full-time thing. maya probably eventually wants to attend a local community college, but she’s undecided on what yet. (i’m torn between things like marine biology, social work or....teaching??).

they probably would eventually get matching/group tattoos. at one point they all briefly live together and it’s the best and worst decision of their lives. (speaking of living together: i think maya lived with max after she left foster care but pre-apartment, and am choosing to believe they’re just very platonically protective over each other instead of being exes).

#long post #LOVE your url btw!! have you seen that mayla/addybeth rain kiss parallel gifset??#ty for asking!! feel free to add on / disagree etc #ask #wifebethcassidy #my headcanons #my writing #la mif

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samrosemodblog · 4 years

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I already know the sexuality headcanons for the Dazzlings, Sci-Twi and Sunset in AA, but what are your sexuality headcanons for the other EQG characters?

I mean, usually if I don’t have any particular headcanon for anyone’s sexuality, I pretty much default to them being bi/pan. It just makes it a lot easier in the long run for me if the characters are flexible either for shipping or porn. No real need to have gender or sexuality politics with any fictional character if everything is a-ok from the beginning.

That being said, even as a non-cis-het person myself, I recognize that the vast majority of people around me either ARE Cishet, or lean strongly that way even if they have some interest in others of the same gender/sex.

For instance, I considered myself straight for the longest time because I had no interest in Men, long before I knew about being Bi-Gender. However, I did eventually find two different men who I was like “Oh, you know what? Dating these two is actually a semi-attractive proposition. I’m still not like, super-sexually attracted to them, but romantically? Hell yeah!” And even then, with me currently dating both 1 girl and 1 guy respectively, I wouldn’t call myself traditionally attracted to Men, and for most people that would generally translate to as ‘Still straight but with an exception’.

So really, I don’t do a whole lot of “Oh this person is straight, this person is gay, they’re trans, etc etc” like I know a lot of people around me who are also LGBT do, I just tend to go with what feels right.

The idea of locking a character out from being shipped/together with another person because of gender or sexuality doesn’t really gel with me, simply because, well, the internet is the internet and they’ll do whatever they want anyway, but also just that, doing so limits story telling and fandom potential. Why limit characters to something so arbitrary?

Usually because it’s more relatable to the individual who is doing so, but as I said, that’s not really how I flow.

But I suppose this isn’t really an answer to the question. So to give a more ‘definitive’ answer for you on how I feel, here’s what I would headcanon for the other Main 7, plus whoever else crops up in my head:

Pinkie Pie I would generally be openly Pan. Gender or sexuality don’t matter to her as long as she can make you happy. Also the most likely to have an open relationship and see sex as fun and something to celebrate, not shun or be shamed of. Sex to her would not lessen a woman’s ‘value’.

Rarity would probably be my ‘Straight girl with an Exception’ clause. She’s the one seen to be the MOST boy crazy, and I don’t think it’s because ‘She’s confused/conditioned’ or anything like that. I think she genuinely loves boys and would happily have taken a partner. Especially in EQG though, I think Applejack would be her exception. The one girl she’s like “Oh heavens yes I would totally date her!”

Rainbow Dash is probably Bi, but leans more heavily towards girls. Its easy to look at her having the pride flag for hair and think she’s the gayest character to ever gay, but honestly I really could see her going either way. For Rainbow Dash, I find it more a matter of finding someone either compatible, or a balancing foil to her. Someone has to make sure Rainbow’s not hurting herself in a way that also doesn’t annoy or upset her.

Fluttershy is the one I would likely make the most traditionally lesbian, if for no other reason than to ensure the FlutterDash shipping. Funnily enough though, it definitely feels like Fluttershy has the MOST straight ships of any of the main girls, and here I am doing the opposite. I guess most people just see her quiet, shy nature as being the most likely to be the ‘traditional home maker’ and as such would have a working husband while she takes care of the home. Straight definitely works for her, but FlutterDash is my 4ever OTP, so yeah, I would go this route personally.

Applejack is interesting as I think it changes depending on the universe. MLP, she’s absolutely straight in my book, and looking for a hard working man that would work beside her on the farm for the rest of her life and make sure the next generation of Apple Family is just as large as her family was. In EQG, I would also make her ‘Straight with an Exception’, that exception being Rarity. There’s less to tie AJ down to the traditional farm life and requiring her to build up a family, so it just feels a lot more natural that way.

Starlight Glimmer I would classify Demisexual. No clear attraction to either side, but if you form a close knit bond with her, she’s much more likely to feel romantic and sexual attraction to her. This is what would say make StarTrix work better than StarBurst, since it was shown just how MUCH Starlight and Sunburst had drifted apart over the years.

Trixie ...Honestly I feel like Trixie would best fit the flamboyant lesbian more than anyone lol. Like she is surprisingly shy and private in her down time, but for an audience she’s always putting on a show, being axtravagent, and she would absolutely be the kind of person to paint her cutie mark on her lovers face for a show to tell the audience ‘By the way, she’s mine so back off’.

Mind you, in SSD Sunset is a pure Lesbian with SciTwi being Bi, and in my own headcanons Sunset is Bi as hell, and SciTwi would likely just be straight lol. Princess Twilight is the one I would more likely have be Bi/Pan and make the duplicates be varied greatly for that.

So I hope that answers the question, and also explains how none of these ‘answers’ are strict or definitive. Ship whoever you want, make them any gender/sexuality you want, because fan content is all about making content that YOU want to see and YOU relate to! There are very few ways to do that wrong, and almost all of them involve hurting real people.

#Shipping talk #Sexuality Talk #Wall of Text #Anonymous

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dearheart42regenerated · 4 years

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hoo boy, okay, this is a baaaaad idea and it’s LONG but I’m doing it anyway because I’m genuinely struggling with this, I don’t have an IRL community to turn to, and I want to hear what other lesbians/wlw think about this beyond my own tiny circle. (for the record I’m not a discourse blog, so pleeeease be gentle and don’t drag me into any super messy debates? the most I want to do is get opinions from different people and learn enough to come to my own private conclusions and move on)

I’m a bby lesbian (and a long-time ace) and the “bi-lesbian” thing upsets me too. but I’ve seen an argument brought up that made me stop and think, and I’m kinda stumped about it. the argument is that we're ALREADY using lesbian as an umbrella term, but only get upset about it when bi women do the same.

for example...when we see a wlw couple walking down the street or getting married, or two women kissing in a TV show or pictures shown on twitter (much like the cute “sword lesbians” story that’s been circulating), MOST of the time, everyone (including us!) tends to automatically call them “lesbians” or a "lesbian couple” or a “lesbian wedding”, etc...without thinking about what their actual orientations are.

I saw another person bring up an experience where her lesbian gf would joke about them "doing lesbianism babey!" but when she tried to do the same as a bi woman, her gf would get mad at her and say she couldn't do that. the main point of all of this is that there's hypocrisy in play - when lesbians put the "lesbian" label on other women, whether irl or fiction, most people don’t kick up a fuss. but when bi women use the label themselves, suddenly it's bad and lesbophobic/biphobic.

this troubles me because I DO see it happen all the time, both online and in the few irl experiences I’ve had. and I think it's a valid point to make (especially because "sapphic" is barely used irl at all). it feels unfair to use "lesbian" with the same-ish looseness we use "gay", and then draw the line at bi women using it too. (there’s also a very real problem of bi ppl with same-gender partners turning to “Gay And Lesbian” spaces cos they have nowhere else to turn, and getting kicked out for not being a “real gay”. there are tangible real-life layers to this discourse that I don’t want to brush off.)

but at the same time, "lesbian" is the only modern word we have (particularly our only mainstream word) to describe our full, unique experience as women who are exclusively attracted to other women/women-aligned people. bi women already have “bisexual” as their recognizable mainstream term, and they also have “queer”, “wlw”, “sapphic”, etc as further options to fine-tune their identity...so it feels just as unfair to use "lesbian” too, and that’s the main reason why the term “bi-lesbian” personally upsets me right now.

it’s also upsetting because “bi-lesbian” implies that some lesbians could still be open to men, and we already face so much lesbophobic pressure to create space for men in our identity/attraction because “you never know, you might feel attracted to a man someday! sexuality is always fluid y’know! maybe you’re not really a lesbian!” we get that pressure both from the outside world AND often from the rest of the LGBTQ+ community too. it’s really harmful and painful to deal with, especially for those of us who’ve had to deal with comphet and still do (aka meeeee)

putting the rest under a readmore cos this is getting long lol

I wish "bi lesbians” and their supporters would take that stuff into consideration...and I wish I saw more people caring in general about the lesbians who are hurting from this.

we’re tired of having the worst assumed of us, of being treated as the “bad guys” by other communities every time we speak up about things that hurt us. statistically, we’re one of the smallest groups in the alphabet soup. we barely even have our own flag, and the creator of our most popular one right now is still facing hate, harassment and being unjustly accused of being a TERF/exclusionist/bigot.

it feels like morale and pride are so low among us right now. we just want people to care about us, to be mindful of how we feel and what we go through as lesbians, to give us the same support and benefit-of-a-doubt that you so easily give to our other LGBTQ+ siblings.

aaand now I’m just emotionally venting lol but TL;DR - I want to be fair to both sides of this topic, cos that’s the type of person I am. I want to stick up for my own community, but I also want to be inclusive to questioning/struggling people and a good ally to my bi sisters. so help me figure all this out. how do y’all feel about what I’ve brought up here?

lesbians and bi women: how do you feel about the point that we’re already using “lesbian” as a roughly gay-equivalent umbrella term for the women we see in relationships with other women? why shouldn’t bi women use it that way too? if they shouldn’t, why aren’t we pushing harder for alternatives like “sapphic” to use in those cases and telling each other to stop when one of us uses “lesbian” or “lesbianism” incorrectly for unspecified wlw couples?

pro-bi-lesbian people: asking in genuine confusion here, how is using the term “bi lesbian” any better than using “bihet” or “bi straight”? how is it not feeding into the misconception that bisexuals are just “half-gay half-straight”? and why is it worth holding onto that label when a) “bisexual” is a mainstream term that, by definition, already has room to encompass your experience, b) other more specific words that mean the same/similar thing already exist for you (i.e. “sapphic”), and c) your term of choice hurts lesbians by undermining our definition of ourselves and adding to the cultural pressure we face to make room for hypothetical future men in our sexuality?

also I want to make it very clear that I’m NOT blaming “bi lesbians” for men feeling entitled to seduce/harass us, or insinuating that you contribute to rape culture or anything like that. predatory men will be predatory no matter what words we use, I fully acknowledge that. rather my concern is that anyone can put pressure on us (and all too often do) to make room for men in our orientation, including within the LGBTQ+ community, and “bi lesbian” as a term contributes to that type of lesbophobia.

please be nice, or at least civil, and talk to me. I want to listen and see if your opinions will help me find some clarity in my own. you’re free to message me or reblog this with your takes on these issues, but if you reblog, please focus on talking with me and don’t fight each other. I will delete this if things get ugly or out of hand.

#bi lesbian #bi lesbian discourse #bi discourse #lesbian discourse

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