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rovelae · 4 years

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Why Saiouma isn’t toxic

(CW: in-depth discussion of abuse, discussion of rape/noncon)

Disclaimer(s): This is an intellectual discussion, not a screaming match. If you’re here to argue with facts and evidence, I don’t mind debating with you. If you just want to throw a tantrum because I like something you don’t, I’m going to tell you to take a Xanax and go to bed.

I’m combining the terms “toxic” and “abusive”; though they aren’t technically the exact same, they’re similar enough for the purposes of this essay.

This essay isn’t meant to convince you to ship Saiou. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. But it’s not right to scream ‘abuse’ where none exists; it hurts fans and content creators, and it “diminishes the importance of that word and it reduces [it] to something volatile and stupid.”

To begin with, we have to identify what makes a relationship abusive. The way I define it, an abusive relationship involves manipulation, an inherent power imbalance, and/or physical or sexual abuse. Most of the hate-posts I’ve seen paint Kokichi as the abuser and Shuichi as the hapless victim, so that will be the focus of this essay.

1. Would Kokichi manipulate Shuichi for personal gain?

There’s no denying that Kokichi is a manipulative person. He’s a liar and he did some awful things in the game. No one’s saying he’s a morally white character. But it would be wrong to say he’s entirely evil, either.

I’ve already covered in this post why Kokichi can’t be said to lie for personal gain, but I’ll quote a bit of it here.

“The motivation [behind Kokichi’s lies] isn’t self-serving—he’s motivated by a desire to end a death game and stop anyone from having to go through what he and his friends have ever again. The smaller lies, though, like lying about his favorite foods? It would be annoying to be tricked like that, but it’s way too much of a stretch to label it psychological abuse.”

We know that Kokichi’s DICE organization has a moral taboo against murder. We know he hated the killing game, to the point where he orchestrated his own suicide in order to ruin it. And almost every time Kokichi lies in the class trials, it’s either for comedic relief or to push the cast toward finding the culprit.

“But Chapter 4!” you protest. “Kokichi manipulated Gonta into killing Miu!”

My response is threefold:

- Miu started it. Kokichi wouldn’t have done anything at all if his life wasn’t in danger and he wasn’t desperate.

- It’s wrong to think that Gonta is incapable of making his own decisions. Kokichi may have influenced him in that direction, but Gonta actively made the choice to kill Miu—his own avatar confirms it at the end of the trial. (See also: Impytricky’s “Gonta Gokuhara Character Analysis: When a Genius is Treated like a Child”)

- Kokichi felt terrible about what happened in Trial 4, to the point where he begged Monokuma to execute him along with Gonta. He didn’t need to do that, and it throws off his whole “I’m the mastermind” act just a few lines later, so we must assume he was being honest about that. It’s clear that he doesn’t enjoy hurting others.

If that’s still not enough for you, consider: desperation, and, by extension, the killing game, brings out the worst in people. We can’t accurately judge a person’s character if all we have to go off of is the worst parts of them. Would Leon have killed Sayaka outside of the killing game? Would Hifumi have agreed to help Celestia kill Taka? Would Gundham have killed Nekomaru?

So, would Kokichi manipulate Shuichi for personal gain? No. His whole character is motivated by a desire to help the others, and his lies are either manifestations of that motivation or harmless pranks meant to entertain.

2. Does the Saiouma ship have an inherent power imbalance?

Shuichi is, by his own admission, weak. Kokichi has a strong personality and likes to be in charge. That doesn’t mean that Kokichi doesn’t respect Shuichi and his opinions. In fact, each class trial is packed with evidence of Kokichi listening to Shuichi’s point of view and respecting his intelligence. For instance:

- Kokichi sided with Shuichi during scrum debates 2, 3, and 4

- Kokichi pointed out most of Shuichi’s lies during the trials (and back routes), but in most cases, didn’t fight him on it

- Shuichi is the only character identified as “trustworthy” by the white board in Kokichi’s room—i.e., Kokichi trusted him to at least be on the right track in the trials.

Kokichi is also shown to care about Shuichi’s feelings in the game, like when he told him he’d rather bring Kaede back to life in Chapter 3, because it would make Shuichi happy. To reiterate: he wants Shuichi to be happy even if it means they don’t end up together. That says a lot.

Additionally, I already mentioned that Shuichi is weak, but it’s important to realize that he isn’t so much of a pushover that he’s entirely incapable of standing up for himself. Look at his interactions with Miu, for example: he sharply told her that “I can wear a hat if I want” when she made fun of him for it, and in her FTEs, he refuses to eat the hygienically questionable food she made for him.

Shuichi’s kind of a simp and tends to get roped into things, yes. But he’s able to stand up for himself—especially after Chapter 6—to the point where he wouldn’t enter into a relationship unless he wanted to. If you think Kokichi would somehow be able to force Shuichi to be his boyfriend, you have no faith in Shuichi—and Chapter 6 proves you wrong.

So, is Saiouma inherently imbalanced? No. Kokichi respects Shuichi’s feelngs, intelligence, and opinions, and Shuichi’s a stronger character than he’s given credit for.

3. Would Kokichi physically or sexually abuse Shuichi?

One needs only to look at Kokichi’s Love Hotel event for the answer. While the Love Hotel isn’t canon to the game’s timeline, the characters are still in character— that is, Kokichi and Shuichi are acting as they normally act.

It’s important to note that Kokichi is the only character who backed off of Shuichi after Shuichi either appeared visibly uncomfortable or told them to stop. Kaede asked for Shuichi’s consent and was given it; Angie, Himiko, Kiyo, Miu, and Tsumugi all took advantage of Shuichi in some way or another; and the rest just didn’t have sexual connotations. Kokichi made advances on Shuichi, noticed that Shuichi was uncomfortable, and immediately backed off.

“But wait!” you cry. “Just because one character didn’t rape the other doesn’t mean they have a good relationship!”

Of course, and that’s important to realize, too. But recall that the purpose of this essay isn’t to convince you to ship Saiouma—it’s to prove that it isn’t abusive.

Keep in mind that this was Kokichi’s fantasy— he would have been able to do whatever he wanted to Shuichi with zero repercussions, and Shuichi probably wouldn’t even remember much when he woke up. And still, Kokichi chose to stop the moment he realized Shuichi wasn’t on board with what was happening. That says a lot.

And what about outside the game? We know from the Salmon Mode ending that Kokichi is desperate for someone to “figure him out.” He’d be very careful not to jeopardize his relationship with someone who genuinely wants to understand him.

And Shuichi does genuinely want to understand him:

So, would Kokichi physically or sexually abuse Shuichi? No. It’s just not in his character.

“But what if Kokichi was lying about EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE GAME?” you yell. “There’s no way we can trust anything he’s ever said ever!”

If every Danganronpa character was polite, kind, open, and honest, 100% of the time without fail, the game would be incredibly boring. If that’s the kind of media you’re into, I’d recommend something like Reader Rabbit or Winnie the Pooh. Danganronpa is a murder mystery, where characters hurt and betray and lie and actually kill each other. You can’t trust anyone; that’s the whole point.

So I advise you to go back through the game with an open mind and try, actually try, to use reading comprehension skills to understand the characters. Examine their motives, think about what they might be feeling when they make the decisions they do.

Danganronpa is not the kind of game to spoon-feed you easy-to-swallow characters. You have to pick them apart yourself.

As for everything Kokichi has ever said possibly being a lie? Maybe. Maybe every character is lying to you. But if you hate Kokichi just because he’s dishonest, then it follows that you have to hate Rantaro, Kaede, Shuichi, Kaito, Maki, Himiko, Kiyo, Miu, Tsumugi, Kirumi, and Kiibo—which, at that point, why are you even a fan of the game?

And if you deny everything Kokichi said just because you think it’s a lie…

In conclusion

You can dislike Saiouma because it’s not your thing, but it’s wrong to spread hate over abuse that doesn’t exist. Hating and attacking people for having a different opinion than you won't magically sway them to your side. If you can't articulate your points in a way that doesn't antagonize, you probably shouldn't be talking. People like what they like for a reason, and spitting on what they like won't make you any friends.

And throwing around weighted terms like “toxic” when you just don’t like something? That makes YOU the toxic one.

#Rov talks #a lot #Saiouma #abuse mention #rape mention #character analysis #I doubt that the people who *should* read this *will* read it #so this might be more of a vent I guess #Feel free to reblog/quote/repost with credit #References: users oumakokichi; impytricky; and chibigaia-art #The first two do great meta pieces #and the last spits more fax than an office

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ahwait-no-yes · 4 years

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Let’s talk about if Saihara hated Ouma

So lately I’ve actually seen a bit more comments on how Saihara doesn’t actually like Ouma and people have gone as far as saying he hates him and idk why people genuinely believe it so here I am about to refute that (I’ve been waiting ages to make this post just so you know so this came out as a horribly unstructured ramble more than anything oops)

some notes beforehand:

I have an obvious bias as I do ship saiouma. although i’ll try to be neutral on what I say here, I can’t hide my bias. I have tried to include what people that hate this ship believe to counter them though, also if you ship other things that’s totally fine?? don’t think of any of this as an attack at your ship and I’m not saying Saihara loved Ouma, I’m just tired of people saying Saihara hated him.

You’re allowed to respectfully disagree as long as you don’t berate me or say I don’t know the game when the majority of the screenshots in this are from my own gameplay, lmao.

and massive whole-game spoilers! Don’t read this if you’ve not finished DRV3!

Glad to know you made it under the cut! now I can begin with where I think people got this idea that Saihara hates him from- the infamous “You’re alone Kokichi and you always will be” line.

I admit this was very cold and still breaks my fragile saiou heart, but to base Saihara’s entire perspective of Ouma on this one line he said while he wasn’t thinking straight is just.. no.. It’s unrealistic. we’ve seen how Saihara is able to adapt his views and grow (I’ll come back to this later), he’s not stubborn in this regard like Momota or even Ouma is, so even if he did mean it 100% (which I doubt because when *anybody* is angry they will say or do things they may regret had they been calmer), it’s not like his view on Ouma from chapter 4 was his final view on him. And that’s what people fail to realise.

So, how does Saihara view Ouma then?

well, I’d say he’s been interested in Ouma as a detective from the moment he met him with his curiosity piqued at Ouma’s claims of leading a secret organisation.

and he remains curious about Ouma throughout, always questioning why Ouma says certain things, what Ouma is lying for, he just wants to figure him out- and this doesn’t just apply to free time events either

I think you get my point there, now, I think if I didn’t ship saiou and read this, I’d argue these are all pre-chapter 5 and before the breaking line so he may have been curious before but not after- that then brings me to my next point

Saihara was confident- dare I say believed- in Ouma, especially after Chapter 5.

how bold of me to say ikr, but this ties in to Saihara’s ability to adapt his views. He’s sort of like a mixture of both Kaito and Ouma honestly, because naturally as a detective he has to be suspicious and think logically as Ouma does, while at the same time Kaito taught him to believe in his friends which has also helped him to advance in trials. I think he might have extended this belief to Ouma, because he trusts that Ouma is doing what he does for a reason.

In fact, I’d argue he’s the only one of the remaining group who wouldn’t readily accept pinning Ouma down as a villain. If anything, it’s the opposite- Saihara fought to clear Ouma’s name, and never stopped trying to understand whether or not his intentions were true or false

i’ll just drop this screenshot here (that i named THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.png in case you were wondering)

this is what I mean when I say he wouldn’t accept it as fast as the others and would second-guess it, bear in mind this is the moment Ouma “admitted” to being the mastermind. and it’s not like this doubt was sudden or anything, cause I can recall this moment (that I actually didn’t catch on to on my first playthrough)

which gives me the idea that hadn’t Ouma purposefully messed with everyone and built up his bad reputation, it would’ve been so much easier for Saihara to disprove him being the mastermind at the point he said it.

Anyway, going back to my point- excluding Kaito (cause Ouma directly told him), Saihara is the first to bring up Ouma’s innocence, and this is what I mean when I say Saihara believed in Ouma

note that I say believed in. believing Ouma and believing in Ouma are different, it’s like how loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things, so don’t argue that by saying “he didn’t trust him” because ik that and that’s not what I’m trying to say.

but he did believe that Ouma had his reasons, and he tried to discover and understand them. I mean, take this for example

he’s already on board lool look at him go, but no really look at the confidence

he’s both confident in himself and in Ouma not lying here, then goes back to being curious about his intentions

oh and let’s not forget who it was that searched Ouma’s lab to find clues to prove he is a remnant of despair. Why do you need to search for evidence for something you (and the others even more) think is irrefutably true? the answer is obvious- he was doubtful of it from the start, and needed evidence to convince himself it was true, but then as he found nothing to prove it (and even evidence against it), he had to convince the others of it too- and prove Ouma’s innocence

(the last screenshot was from Hikkie’s playthrough on Youtube)

But as you can see, he’s clearing Ouma’s name as the leader of the Remnants of Despair.

Now, I bet someone would argue that this only proves Saihara was determined to find the truth in general, because he’s mister detective, so I’ll raise you the fact that Saihara didn’t need to try figuring why Ouma does the things he does- he could leave it at just knowing the truth and if he really didn’t like Ouma like people say then there’s not much merit to it.

“So what if I know this now? I didn’t care about him, it’s pointless” he could’ve thought something like that, but no

(I also think the “you’re lying again kokichi, there’s a method to your madness” moment fits here too)

Not only this, but there’s also how Saihara learnt from him.

honestly im still kinda mindblown from this ever since I first realised it, but when you think about it, Ouma hinted to Saihara in his FTEs how to win the game.

(those 3 screenshots are from justonegamr’s kokichi’s FTE video; random fun fact this was the playthrough that i watched while first getting into drv3)

But if you think about it, Ouma tried this again in his own trial in his attempt at ending the killing game and then Saihara also used this to actually end it

Not only that (which personally i think is pretty powerful in itself), but Saihara also tries to take Ouma seriously and picks up hints he leaves and uses them later

as well as

(and generally just)

generally, Ouma will hint and then Saihara will pick it up. it’s been like that for the whole game- why should Saihara give any extra thought to what Ouma hints if he dislikes him?? really, he could’ve just ignored him the same way he did at the end of chapter 4- but again, he didn’t “”hate”” Ouma enough to keep ignoring him, he considered him a friend in the end anyway.

and the end is what I’ll talk about now, too.

first- can we just acknowledge this?

he doesn’t ignore Ouma at all here. even though he didn’t trust him, he was sad to have lost him.

Not to mention the way he thinks about lying at the end of Chapter 6. (like, please this is just- *chefs kiss*)

IMAGINE Ouma was alive to hear him say that omg but Saihara could (and probably would) extend what he says here to Ouma himself- y’know, the ‘embodiment of lies’

by thinking about lies in a different angle instead of at face value like this, he gets a more neutral view on them rather than just thinking “they’re bad!!”, why wouldn’t he be able to do the same for Ouma? especially now that he knows Ouma was innocent and actually hated the game as much as they all did. I mean hey, even after chapter 5′s trial he sort of already thinks about lies differently

and throughout this post, I’ve tried to avoid talking about his free time events or his salmon mode ending because people always say “well they’re not canon” and to that I say not canon to the plot, yes, but still canon to the characters. so yeah, I don’t disregard any of them.

from this point onwards these all technically happen before chapter 5, so it’s not entirely relevant to my point that saihara still liked ouma even after the end of chapter 4, but it’s still something that shows he liked him beforehand at least. I mainly just wanna ramble though haha

one thing I’ve always thought was interesting was how Saihara easily lashed out at Kaito in his own free time event

and Kaito is undeniably Saihara’s best friend who he holds in high regard. If Saihara having backbone means he doesn’t like someone then damn bye bye momota have a nice trip in space

in terms of ouma and saihara though

how about the fact that Saihara willingly sat there and played rock paper scissors (janken pon!) with Ouma 100 times?? bruh I got bored playing that with my brother after 8 rounds yesterday how would Saihara manage 100?? would you really have the patience for that when you don’t even like the person you’re playing with?

how about his third free time event too?

(from justonegamr’s kokichi fte video)

Saihara wanted to spend some time with Ouma, that’s- its literally written there I don’t know what you want from me the guy wanted a nice time with someone he supposedly doesnt like

what I love about this is how “reaching out” could be taken both literally and figuratively. Wanting to understand someone and trying to find a way to but them being too unwilling to trust anyone.. damn 😔👊 also shuuichi either wanted to handshake or hold hands, what else do you do when you reach for someone’s hand come on

oh yes and how about that he’s content with the refusal because it allowed him to figure out a small thing about Ouma? understanding that Ouma has a different way of being reached out to? mhm please think about that for a bit

that parallel in the salmon ending too...

he considered how it’ll be like with him after they get out and how he’ll learn about him, then ultimately decided when ouma reached out to him that he does want this, and even comments on the warmth of his hand... afhskfdlj

his blush when ouma mentions how his lies didn’t bore saihara was also a very cute moment

ooh and what about the love hotel???

there’s that one line “I know i’m meant to be Kokichi’s ideal in this fantasy but when he tells me he loves me I feel like he means the opposite” or something like that- i’d argue it’s because he’s cautious of Ouma for one but also am I getting something wrong here or is he talking about how he, Shuuichi, thinks Ouma doesn’t like him? because I see people argue this is proof saihara doesn’t like ouma but all he’s really doing is just doubting ouma loves him

well in any case

WHY would he want him to stay in a love hotel of all places if he disliked him?! I know I’m just a broken record at this point but I can’t think of anything logical for it. they didnt even need to include that line in the scene at all but they did like they could’ve easily said something to do with realising where he was instead but nah. even after the event’s over, he says to himself

doesn’t he sound disappointed by it? and the fact that he even questions if it was a dream- okay

ooh, something i’ve realised while writing this as well: it kind of seems like Saihara might not want to like him but does anyway; he quickly ‘smothered the thought’ of staying with Kokichi, didn’t want to admit that Ouma’s lies never bored him, and I also thought about how in one of Kaito’s free time events he says to himself “I shouldn’t be talking about another boy like that”- well, maybe it’s similar for how he thinks of ouma? it’s not like Saihara didn’t care for the others’ opinion on him (probably the opposite ngl if you mess up in class trials he says something along the lines of“Ah I screwed up! They probably think I’m a fraud”) and considering nobody else liked ouma (except for maybe gonta) I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt shame for liking him, thus repressing that feeling (especially around the others, there’s that part in trial 4 where he’s trying to convince kaito he isn’t siding with ouma cause he knows by doing that could damage his friendship with his bro)

I mean this is something I only thought of just now, but it could be plausible (i hope?)

One last thing- I find it incredibly funny how in chapter 2 when ouma is literally on top of saihara he doesn’t freak out or scream and everyone else in the room is also completely chill with it and unquestioning. no really they’re just standing there.. and how long was ouma even in that position for??

Now, I think that’s all. So to finish off, I’ll just say

People get the idea that saiouma is bad because some don’t realise Saihara can still like a person without idolising or putting them on a pedestal. Idk if this is gonna sound controversial or not, but I honestly do think he did exactly that to Kaito and Kaede- which doesn’t make what they have with him toxic or bad at all, I just think his view on Ouma is a lot more realistic and less clouded. Heck, if Saihara canonically liked Ouma as much as he does with the other two I don’t know if I’d ship saiouma as hard as I do (it is fun to imagine though).

If you actually read through this then.. wow? I’m surprised you got through this unstructured mess? I hope you can agree with me for some of my points at least but I’m not here to convince you or anything, this has just been on my mind for weeks now I needed to get it out somehow.

I said it at the start and i’ll say it again now too- i didn’t intend on attacking or comparing saiou to any other ships so I do apologise if I seem like it, i’m just terrible with my wording (lmk if something genuinely offended you, i’ll probably change it) but you’re free to ship whatever you like cause at the end of the day it’s just a bit of fun. that being said, I don’t want to actually argue on this so please don’t haha, i’ve contemplated just deleting this but I’ve put a lot of effort into this post even though i cant analyse for 💩

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your day!

have the kokichi gaygun as a farewell present

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thalassa-caelum · 3 years

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IN/ENGLISH:

Well, this is going to be the last post I'm going to do on this topic and then "The End". As you know , followers and friends, a couple of months ago I have been receiving hateful (anonymous) comments from useless people who have a lot of free time. Normally, I ignore these kinds of things because they're the sick pastimes of cowardly people, but I have found out that they have been spreading slurs on me, so I'm going to dedicate this post to politely answer them:

1."Your Liar Princess is a copy of xxxx": Wrong. They told me this in 2021 but my AU was published on Feb 17th, 2019. You just have to go to the original post and you will find their publication date. This AU was born out of my fanaticism for the video game. There is no more story behind this. However, it's important to emphasize that my Au's story is VERY DIFFERENT from the story of the video game. The Knight and the Huntress don't exist in the video game, the Wolf's intentions are different (the game's wolf is much friendlier), and the Prince doesn't have magical eyes. These are some examples. Is it a copy of what exactly?

2. ”Your Identity V3 AU is a copy...too”: My AU’s was posted on Oct 17th, 2018, two years before the DRxID Collab announcement. I'm not a time traveler, is impossible for my AU to be a copy, and even if I decided to draw something on this today then that would just be a fanart, not a copy. To this I add, this AU’s was born when the Identity V game wasn't the globally recognized game that is today. I just thought "it would be a cool mix" and the rest is history.

3. “Your D. of Shuichi is a copy" (of what? They have never specified it): Wrong again. My comic (January 12, 2021) is slightly inspired by a book that I love called "Disarticulations", which tells the story of a woman with Alzheimer's. Obviously, neither Shuichi nor Kokichi have this sad disease, since the only thing I took from the book was a phrase ["only when we forget something, can we begin to remember"] and the rest is a modern interpretation of a philosophy concept name that I willn't mention because it would ruin much of the mystery. It isn't a copy, at most it has an intertext inside.

4. (This is perhaps the most inconceivable lol), “Your Remake is a copy”. because it makes all the logic in the world... to copy myself. I know that my style has changed, but I think is clear that the two drawings are the work of the same person because... they both have my watermark on them *sigh*.

- I think this shouldn't even be a topic of discussion, it's very easy to find the publication dates of each of the Au's in this blog, and if they need more "proof" I have each of the original files saved on other platforms. In addition, it's very easy to identify the same dates in the metadata. Personally, I wasn't going to say anything about this because is a waste of time for me, however this post is to affirm that I'm not going to delete my drawings or my account just because some children are bothered by my saiouma, my ideas or they "don't like me" for their immature reasons. Here posted drawings just for fun, I don't want money, or anything like that, I'm never going to profit from this because I'm not a professional artist like many of my friends and, thanks God, I don't need it. For this same reason, I have the total freedom to posting what I want since, as I said, is a hobby.

My apologies for this text, but I thought is necessary to clarify the obvious in case any of you became a recipient of this nonsense.

Have a nice day, ladies and gentlemen.

Long Live Tonight.

SPANISH/ESPAÑOL:

Bueno, este va a ser el último post que voy a hacer sobre este tema y luego voy a concluirlo. Como ustedes saben, seguidores, hace un par de meses he estado recibiendo comentarios (anónimos) de odio de parte de gente inutil que tiene mucho tiempo libre. Normalmente, ignoro esta clase de cosas porque son los pasatiempos enfermizos de gente cobarde, pero me he enterado que han estado esparciendo difamaciones sobre mí, así que voy a dedicar este post a contestarles:

1.Tu Liar Princess es una copia de xxxx. Error. Esto me lo dijeron en 2021 pero mi AU fue publicado en Feb 17th, 2019. Solamente tienes que ir al post original y encontrarás la fecha de publicación. Este AU nació por mi fanatismo por el videojuego. No hay historia más detrás de esto. Sin embargo, es importante recalcar que la historia de mi AU es MUY DIFERENTE a la historia del videojuego. El Caballero y la Cazadora no existen en el videojuego, las intenciones del Lobo son diferentes (el lobo del juego es mucho más amigable), y el príncipe no tiene ojos mágicos. Estos son algunos ejemplos. ¿Es una copia de qué exactamente?

2.”Tu Identity V3 AU es una copia”: Mi AU’s fue publicado el Oct 17th, 2018, dos años antes del anuncio del Collab. No soy una viajera del tiempo, es imposible que sea una copia y aunque yo decidiera dibujar algo sobre esto el día de hoy, entonces eso sería simplemente un fanart, no una copia. A esto agrego, este AU’s nació cuando el juego de Identity V no era el juego mundialmente reconocido que es hoy en día. Simplemente pensé “sería un mix cool” y el resto es historia.

3. “Tu D.of Shuichi” es una copia (¿de qué? Nunca lo han especificado). Como sea, de nuevo error. Mi comic ( Jan 12th, 2021) está inspirado levemente en un libro que amo llamado “Desarticulaciones”, el cual cuenta la historia de una mujer con alzheimer. Obviamente, ni Shuichi ni Kokichi tienen esta triste enfermedad, ya que lo único que tomé del libro fue una frase “solamente cuando olvidamos algo, podemos empezar a recordar” y lo demás es una interpretación moderna de un concepto de la filosofía cuyo nombre no voy a mencionar porque arruinaría gran parte del misterio. No es una copia, a lo sumo tiene un intertexto.

4. Esta es quizás la más inconcebible, “tu Remake es una copia”. Porque tiene toda la lógica del mundo el copiarme de mí misma. Sé que mi estilo ha cambiado, pero creo que es evidente que los dos dibujos son obra de una misma persona porque ambos tienen mi marca de agua en él.

Creo que esto ni siquiera debería ser un tema de discusión, es muy sencillo encontrar las fechas de publicación de cada uno de los AU’s en este blog, y si necesitan más “pruebas” tengo cada uno de los archivos originales guardados en otras plataformas. Además, es muy sencillo identificar las mismas fechas en los metadatos. Personalmente no iba a decir nada sobre esto porque es una pérdida de tiempo, sin embargo este post es para afirmar que no voy a borrar mi contenido ni mis cuentas solamente porque a unos niños les moleste el saiouma, mis ideas, o yo no les agrade por sus razones inmaduras. Publicó dibujos solamente por diversión, no quiero dinero, ni nada parecido, nunca voy a lucrar con esto porque no soy una artista profesional como varios de mis amigos y, gracias a Dios, no lo necesito. Por esta misma razón, tengo la libertad total para publicar lo que yo desee ya que, como dije, es un pasatiempo.

Mis disculpas por este texto, pero creí necesario aclarar lo evidente por si alguno de ustedes llega a ser receptor de estas tonterías.

Tengan un buen día, damas y caballeros.

Long Live Tonight.

#Ask #Asks #text post #Thank you all for your support and kind words #But we won't waste anymore of our time on potential sociopaths #Kisses to my anonymous cowards <3 #I still have a lot of AU's for all of you

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hellokokichiouma · 4 years

Text

everyone treated kokichi ouma like trash and im angry about it so im ranting

(spoilers for like the whole game)

OKAY.

no one deserves to die and get their death ignored,!!especially how much of a meaningful death he had

he was trying to end the whole game and had to create an entire plan that literally destroys everyone’s perception of him

he let himself be alone and hated by everyone in a KILLING GAME just to carry out his plan

but literally no one besides kaito can recognize that and kaito only does it becuase well,,, he was there in the hangar so

even still he doesn’t really care, he still hates him, just respects him a little more i guess

and yea i ship saiouma and i have my reasons for that (mostly cuz kokichi showed interest in shuichi in the first place) and shuichi was a nice person i guess but uhm

he does not care at all that kokichi is dead he’s just kind of like oh well if kokichi’s dead then that means kaito is the culprit! and only focuses on kaito and never once gives a thought to kokichi

shuichi literally lies about him threatening to kill him and eveyeone there, which is really rude considering that he died and shuichi knew that

he also only does that cuz he thinks kaito is trying to end the killing game even though it was kokichi’s plan all along

and when everyone finds out kokichi was actually the person who started that whole plan they don’t really care?? like at all??

they talk about kaito instead of him, which yeah makes sense considering how much they liked kaito, but give him a little recognition!!! he just tried to stop the killing game!!! didnt you want that????

even when they go to his room they don’t feel sad about his death or anything they just look for clues, maki even thinks it’s pointless to be there!!

and shuichi doesn’t even point out the whiteboard that says “trustworthy?” under his name!!! thats kind of important yknow

they do this with a lot of the deaths, which is incredibly unfortunate, people die and they don’t care unless it directly affects them

and yea i know kokichi said stuff like that too but he was lying about most things in order to make himself look as cruel as the mastermind so we don’t really know how much truth there was to that, and considering how much he tried to stop the killing game, he probably didn’t mean all the mean things he said

and you would think that if someone sacrifices their life to end a killing game that everyone else was desperately trying to get out of, the characters would think/talk about them more, especially if they were wrong about that person and their motives

and they were wrong about that person and they knew that! kaito gave them kokichi’s last words right? they knew that he didn’t like the killing game and that he was lying about it, but they chose not to believe him (except for you kiibo love you kiibo)

it’s messed up. it’s not that they didn’t like kokichi for me, of course I like kokichi so of course i’d like everyone else to as well, but really the main part that gets me upset is that they DIDNT CARE. i know that they had reasons for hating and distrusting him but they literally didn’t CARE. like at all!!! they just didn’t care!!!!!

sorry for slandering shuichi again, listen i love him but-

a WHOLE speech about lies at the end of the game and not ONE mention of kokichi???? come on, really??? you steal his whole point about lying and claim it as your own? really???

nobody cared about kokichi ouma.

they didnt care about his death. they didnt care about his plan. they didnt even care when he was alive. they just didnt care about him,in general.

it fills me with rage!!

but anyway

thats all

have a good day :)

#kokichi ouma #danganronpa kokichi #kokichi oma #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #y’know that song from dear evan hansen called disappear where they’re like no one deserves to be forgotten? yeah .

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saioumaismyserotonin · 4 years

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Teddy Bear: A Saiouma Fluff

If there was one thing Kokichi enjoyed about being a liar, it was the fact that he could hide anything from anyone. It was a good thing that he was such a great liar, because he had a secret that nobody knew about him. That secret was, that he still slept with a stuffed animal.

It wasn't a big secret compared to what others secrets were, but it was a big secret to him. Kokichi had a reputation, he was the ultimate supreme leader for crying out loud! Kokichi thought about the secret as he read the invitation from Kaede once again. "Class slumber party tomorrow night in the gym! Boys and girls both invited. Come out for snacks, movies, and truth or dare!"

Kokichi had to make a decision. He wanted to go, but at the same time he couldn't. Kokichi had never gotten to sleep without his stuffed animal, and he couldn't necessarily bring it with him, he would get made fun of. Kokichi thought more and more about it, then he realized. "Shumai!", He thought to himself. Now he absolutely couldn't bring his stuffed animal, knowing his crush would most likely find out about his secret. It would ruin any chance he had with the detective.

Anxious, Kokichi rolled over on his side and looked at his small purple stuffed dinosaur. It was a gift from his parents before he started at Hope's Peak, it reminded him of home. Kokichi gave the dinosaur a tight squeeze before falling asleep. He needed a lot of rest before deciding what he would do about the slumber party.

The sun shined brightly on Kokichi's purple locks. Slowly, Kokichi stirred awake and realized that today was the day of his class slumber party. "Maybe I just shouldn't go...", Kokichi said to himself out loud. "But this could be the perfect opportunity to tell my beloved how I feel!", Kokichi stated to himself out loud. He had made up his mind, he was going to sleep at this slumber party and tell Shuichi how he felt without the stuffed animal. Though the slumber party wasn't until later, Kokichi got everything ready now. He gathered everything he may need for the night and paused for a second. He stared at the stuffed animal for a good minute, could he really sleep without it? He picked it up and inspected it, "I don't need it. I'm 17 years old!", he said to himself, before tossing the stuffed animal under his bed. After gathering his things, he placed it in a backpack near his door and started towards the dining hall.

Eventually he got to the dining hall and was greeted by no one other than his favorite detective. "Kokichi! Good morning.", Shuichi said smiling. "Nihihi! Good morning Shumai~", Kokichi said, smiling brightly back at his beloved. "So, the slumber party is tonight.", Shuichi said, sounding slightly nervous. "Aaah, does my beloved want me to go so I can sleep with him?", Kokichi asked jokingly. "K-kokichi!", Shuichi replied, blushing. "Nihihi! I'll go just for you my beloved!", Kokichi said, walking away from Shuichi. "I did it! I finally told Saihara-Chan the truth!", Kokichi thought to himself, beaming. Kokichi eventually walked back to his room, excited for the night ahead of him.

A few hours passed and Kokichi went to the gym to help with preparations. They set up separated sides for the boys and girls, and multiple snack stations. This slumber party was gonna be a night to remember for Kokichi, and others.

After about an hour, everything was prepared and it was time for the party to start. One after another everyone started piling into the gym, readying their sleeping bags and other night time necessities. Once everyone was settled in, they began to start their slumber party.

“Thank you so much to everyone who came! I’m so excited to spend this night with all of you!”, Kaede said as she smiled and clapped her hands together. Kokichi has never been close with Kaede sure, but seeing her happy did make him smile a bit. Kokichi looked around until he finally spotted his favorite detective.

“Saihara-Channn!”, Kokichi called out playfully with his hands behind his head. “Kokichi! I’m really glad to see that you’re here.”, Shuichi said smiling. “Nihihi, I never knew that the detective needed me to have a good time.”, Kokichi said slickly, though Shuichi was his beloved, he loved messing with him.

“I just thought it would be cool to...spend some time with you yknow?”, Shuichi mumbled blushing. “I love spending time with you too Shumai!”, Kokichi exclaimed, he was happy that he and Shuichi were having an actual conversation. Time passed, and they were ready to begin the first event of the night they would remember forever.

“Ok everyone first we’re gonna play a mobile game called among us!”, Kirumi said. Kirumi never played games a lot before, so getting to play among us was kind of a big deal for her. Considering the class only had 16 students, they decided to split 8 and 8. Group one including Shuichi, Miu, Kaede, Kaito, Kokichi, Himiko, and Tenko. Whilst the 2nd group was Korekiyo, Angie, Maki, Kirumi, Gonta, Ryoma, Rantaro, and Tsumugi.

“Alright everyone! Be sure to be nice and have fun!”, Kaede smiled. Soon the first game started and Kokichi was imposter. “Nihihi, this game knows me so well” Kokichi thought to himself before proceeding to play the game well. He killed Miu first of course, and then Kaito. Soon enough though, he was found out by his favorite detective. “Nihihi, such a great detective Shumai~”, Kokichi smiled. Though he wanted to win, he couldn’t stop his attraction from the detective seeing through all of his lies.

The night went on like normal, with fun truth or dare to interesting movies. Soon enough though, it was time to go to sleep.

“Ahhhh, goodnight everyone!”, Kaede yawned, she was tired after having so much fun with everyone. “Goodnight, Kaede!”, Shuichi said, he was very tired as well. “Shumai you’re really gonna sleep with that emo hat?!”, Kokichi asked teasingly. “Hahaha, then how about you hold onto it for me?”, Shuichi said smiling, placing the hat on the smaller boys’ head.

“Goodnight Kokichi.”, Shuichi yawned before finally falling asleep. Kokichi eventually tried to fall asleep as well, but when he tried, he had awful awful dreams.

Kokichi’s dream:

“As if you of all people could ever get me to love you!”, Shuichi yelled at Kokichi. “B-but Shumai-“, Kokichi started. “And enough with the stupid nicknames alright?? It’s so annoying”, Shuichi said cruelly. “I-I just thought you and I could b-be together!”, Kokichi exclaimed explaining himself. “Hah! No way!”, Shuichi laughed. “You’re alone, and you always will be.”, Shuichi finished, walking away from a hurt Kokichi.

Back to real life:

“No!”, Kokichi shouted, jolting awake. He looked around him to see Shuichi asleep next to him. “Just a dream..”, He thought to himself as he started looking around for his stuffed animal to help him get to sleep. “Where is it???”, Kokichi thought to himself anxiously, as he had never slept successfully without it. Kokichi then remembered that he had left it in his dorm. “Shit!!”, Kokichi thought. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to get to sleep without it, and that made him nervous. Kokichi stood up and walked outside of the gym and sat in the hallway outside. He felt anxious and afraid. What was he gonna do??

“I could just sleep in my dorm with it and come back in the morning”, Kokichi thought. “But what if someone wakes up and sees I’m gone??” Kokichi was so anxious he began crying and shaking. To make things worse, he didn’t have his dinosaur to calm him down.

Shuichi began to stir awake as he heard small sobs coming from outside the gym. He moved over to the right and saw that Kokichi was no longer next to him. “Kokichi?”, Shuichi mumbled out loud. He stood up and began to look for the small purple haired boy.

Kokichi heard footsteps approaching him as he turned around and saw the tall detective standing over him. “S-Shuichi!”, Kokichi exclaimed in shock, wiping his tears away. “Kokichi? What’s wrong?”, Shuichi said, kneeling down to be on level with Kokichi.

“Nihihi! It’s a lie!”, Kokichi joked. “Don’t worry about me, I was just seeing if my dear Saihara-Chan would worry about me~”, Kokichi said. “Kokichi...”, Shuichi said, growing slightly annoyed with Kokichi. “I know a lie when I see one, what happened?”, Shuichi asked sympathetically.

Kokichi was slightly shocked, did Shuichi really care about him? Could he trust Shuichi enough to tell him his secret?

“O-okay well...”, Kokichi started. “It’s kind of embarrassing.. so you better not laugh!”, Kokichi yelled. “I won’t Kokichi, I could never judge you.”, Shuichi smiled. “W-well it’s just, every night, I usually can’t sleep unless...”, Kokichi trailed off. “Unless..?”, Shuichi asked, being kind of confused.

“Unless I sleep with my stuffed animal! He’s a small purple dragon and his name is Panta, I normally can’t sleep without him.”, Kokichi said, blushing.

Shuichi couldn’t help but stare, he was so hopelessly in love with Kokichi and finding out about his stuffed animal just made him even cuter. “Kokichi...”, Shuichi said gently. “I understand if you think differently of me now okay?! Just... don’t tell anyone else. Okay?”, Kokichi said.

“Kokichi, I would never tell anyone your secret that you trusted me with.”, Shuichi said sympathetically. “However if you don’t mind me asking... Why does this dinosaur mean so much?”, Shuichi asked, trying to learn more about Kokichi.

“I-It just reminds me of home I guess... Back where nobody really hated me, and my lies weren’t as bad you know?”, Kokichi said, slightly embarrassed. Shuichi stared at Kokichi for a moment, as he slowly moved in and planted a gentle kiss on Kokichi’s lips.

“Shu-Shuichi!”, Kokichi exclaimed, slightly taken aback. “I’m sorry it’s just... you’re so adorable Ouma-Kun”, Shuichi said. “Here how about this”, Shuichi proposed. “I can be your dinosaur for the night.”, Shuichi said, smiling at Kokichi.

Kokichi was shocked, he was really offered the opportunity to sleep with his beloved, and he hadn’t laughed at his secret. “O-Okay.”, Kokichi shyly accepted.

The two went back to the gym and laid down on their sleeping bags they had set up earlier. Kokichi placed his face into Shuichi’s chest as Shuichi planted his chin on top of Kokichi’s head. “I-I love you Shuichi.”, Kokichi whispered as he drifted to sleep calmly. “I love you more.” Shuichi stated.

“My teddy bear”, Shuichi said smiling, as he finally fell asleep.

#shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #kaede akamatsu #shuichi x kokichi #saiouma #oumasai #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #fluff #fanfic #awwww <3 #stuffed animals #drv3 kokichi #kokichi tag #kokichi kin #drv3 shuichi

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oumakokichi · 4 years

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Sorry to play devils advocate, but isn't it possible that Kokichi was actually referencing Miu herself when he made that morbid joke? Him, Gonta, and Miu were always working together in the background, and I think it's very possible that Kokichi probably held some affection for them, platonic or otherwise. I personally think it's strictly platonic, but I still think Kokichi did love Gonta and Miu, and the idea of that joke being a reference to his feelings for Miu lines up too...

See, I could potentially see that line referring to Miu--if Ouma didn’t explicitly talk about Saihara “rejecting him” and “what a shame it was” right before the rest of the line.

Don’t get me wrong anon, I do absolutely think you’re right about the fact that Ouma did care about both Gonta and Miu. As I discussed in a meta piece I actually posted yesterday, I don’t think Miu and Ouma hated each other nearly as much as they pretended to on the surface, hence their ability to collaborate together and make inventions that were meant to end the killing game.

Not only that but Ouma didn’t want anyone to die, let alone Miu. It’s not until chapter 6 that we really see full proof of this with his motive video, but he held very strong convictions against murder and violence, and he hated the fact that he broke that moral code so much that he refused to do essentially the same thing in chapter 5, even when he would’ve had every opportunity to let Momota and Maki die in his place.

As someone he partnered with and as one of his classmates, I do 100% think Ouma cared about her, and that he resented himself for orchestrating her death, even if it was partly in self-defense.

However, that doesn’t mean that it makes any sense to say that the “person I fell in love with” part of the quote refers to her, particularly when we lack any other context that would suggest that. The second half of the quote certainly foreshadows Miu’s death, but nothing about the rest of the quote, or even their interactions throughout the rest of the game, suggest at all that they felt romantically about one another.

Ouma repeatedly, consistently remarks on Saihara throughout the game. Not only are there the lines in his FTEs, love hotel, and salmon mode, but even in actual plot-relevant scenes like investigations and trials, he constantly singles Saihara out, making comments about how he’s “always thinking about him” and therefore wants him to be happy, or how “Saihara is his favorite, so he’ll tell him anything he wants to know.”

He doesn’t make these types of comments, with this degree of frequency, towards Miu or anyone else. In fact, the only time he ever “confesses” his love to someone else is when Momota pretends to be him in the chapter 5 trial (which is pretty amusing in its own way).

It feels completely unfair to take the line completely out of context and ignore all the other many, many lines prior to this scene which already indicated how Ouma felt about Saihara and say that they’re unnecessary or don’t matter. These lines and scenes are shown to us for a reason: we’re supposed to get the sense that Ouma is clearly playing favorites with Saihara in a way that he doesn’t with anyone else.

If Ouma had gotten jealous and made a cute nickname for Miu in an earlier chapter, if he had her picture singled out on his whiteboard next to a line implying that he couldn’t figure her out, or if he were constantly calling her his “favorite person” or saying that he was “always thinking of her,” then I do think anyone, myself included, would have to admit that he probably did have romantic feelings for her.

But as it stands, most of their interaction involves the two of them insulting each other and tearing each other down in the trials, or Ouma just telling Miu to shut her mouth entirely. I think he cared about her as his classmate and even as something close to a friend, given that they collaborated for so long to try and stop the killing game, and he did not want to see her dead, at all. But none of their other interactions really indicates that either of them felt romantically about each other.

I hope I don’t come across as harsh, but I do have to wonder if nearly as many people would try to argue with me about this line or about Ouma having canonical romantic feelings for Saihara if saiouma was a m/f ship. Ouma’s feelings for Saihara are laid out in such a clear-cut way in the original dialogue of the game, even downright identical to Maki’s own love confession towards Momota, but people only seem to want to accept one of these as being “canon” while people argue with me about Ouma’s every step of the way.

I’ve stated multiple times that I’m not saying that saiouma as a ship is canon--only that Ouma’s feelings for Saihara are. If people don’t like the ship, or don’t think Saihara would reciprocate even outside of the killing game, that’s perfectly fine. But having a gay character canonically, explicitly confess their romantic feelings for another character is unfortunately still rare and hard to come by in mainstream games and stories nowadays, and it makes me more just a little tired that there are so many people who immediately want to write it off or else ignore all the other context in the entire game that backs up the idea that, yes, Ouma is in love with Saihara.

In short: I do think that Ouma cared about Miu, and Gonta, and all his classmates, as he’s stated multiple times that the lengths he goes to are “for everyone’s sake,” and we know for a fact that he didn’t actually want to see anyone die or get hurt. But given all the other context from the entire game, it’s pretty clear that he’s not talking about being in love with Miu--particularly when right after this line, he continues to compete with Momota for Saihara’s attention during the investigation repeatedly.

Keep in mind, I’m also not saying people can’t ship Ouma with any other character besides Saihara. I personally enjoy a few other ships with Ouma, too, and shipping is a matter of personal preference and headcanons anyway. People’s feelings change all the time, and crushes usually don’t last forever anyway. I just think it’s important to not erase the fact that he does have these feelings for Saihara, canonically, and that his romantic interest in Saihara is an important part of his motivations for a good chunk of the game.

Anyway, I hope I was clear enough in my response. Thank you for your question anon, and I hope you have a good day.

#ask #anonymous #opinions #ndrv3 spoilers //#okay to reblog

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magioftheseas · 4 years

Text

Look Look Look

Summary: They both have one reason for interacting with each other, and that reason is to get Momota Kaito's attention.

Rating: T

Warnings: This is angst. It’s pretty bitter.

Notes: This is for Jen who wanted “Ouma using Saihara to get to Kaito” and my brain was like “okay but imagine Saihara being the same” and this is what I ended up with because I have Chapter 4 on the brain. Uh. Don’t read this if you’re looking for Saiouma Saiouma because it very much isn’t a Saiouma fic.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

“Oi, Shuuichi!” With a friendly wave and a friendlier grin, Momota Kaito shone brighter than the sun. “Hey, you got any free time or what?”

It’s so bright it hurts to look at. Bright enough that he wants to shrivel and retreat into the shadows, but that wasn’t going to happen when two thin arms latch onto his own like a vice.

“Soooorry, Momota-chan!” Ouma exclaims with the same amount of cheer, even if it’s just a cheap facsimile of the real thing. He presses against Saihara, his grip unforgiving rather than secure. “Saihara-chan already promised his day away to little ol’ me!”

“You again?!” Momota’s smile dropped, his teeth gritting. “Haven’t you been hogging enough of Shuuichi’s time! Seriously, Shuuichi...” Momota’s gaze darts towards him, and Saihara freezes under such a strong stare. He’d reach up to yank down the brim of his hat—but dammit. Momota had convinced him to toss the thing weeks ago. “He’s not blackmailing you, is he?”

“Wah! What a horrible thing to accuse someone!” Ouma squeezes his arm hard enough to cut off circulation. Saihara thinks of trapped wolves gnawing off their legs to escape. Ouma sniffles, exaggerated but still putting on an impeccable show regardless with tears welling up in his eyes. “T-That you’d even think so lowly of me, Momota-chan... That hurts! That really, really hurts!”

Momota looks unimpressed, but his gaze bores into Ouma. Saihara thinks of leeches.

“It’s nothing like that,” he whispers. “It’s not—anything like that, Momota-kun. I’m fine, it’s fine.”

Momota hardly looks relieved. He’s also hardly looking at Saihara at all, gaze still focused more on Ouma, wiping off his face and sniffling loudly. Momota’s brow furrows the way it does when he’s working on a puzzle.

Saihara thinks of drowning. Drowning with leeches.

“It’s fine,” he repeated. “I’ll talk to you later, Momota-kun.” A pause. A sharp inhale. “Ouma-kun. Let’s go.”

“M-Mm,” Ouma nods, still caught in his tearful act. “I wanna leave right away. Momota-chan is horrible!”

Momota rolled his eyes, but he does grin at Saihara. Easy and kind. Saihara eagerly searches his expression for a reassuring hint of disappointment.

“Later, Shuuichi.”

Momota waves him off, turning on his heel without another comment. Saihara feels cold.

“Ooh,” Ouma coos, quiet and pressing up against him again. Saihara can feel the other’s racing heart and contemplates digging his elbow into Ouma’s sternum. Of course. He’d never do anything like that. He wasn’t Momota Kaito, after all.

Momota, who does glance back. At Ouma. Ouma sticks his tongue out, and Momota hurriedly snaps his head forward with a huff.

He hadn’t given Saihara a second glance.

“Come oooon, Saihara-chan,” Ouma sing-songs, and pulls him along. Weakling that he is, worthless coward that he is, Saihara follows mutely.

No matter who it is, he just goes along with what the other person wants. Even if he doesn’t really want to do whatever they want to do, he just goes along with it. He can’t say he enjoys being around other people, honestly. He’s not like Akamatsu, who laughs with others and leads as easily as she breathes. Momota is like that, too, of course, but Momota is—

He’s special. Like that.

He’s special and shining, and someone like Saihara Shuuichi can’t stand being around him just as much as he wants to bask in that radiance until he burns to a crisp.

And that’s why he...tolerates Ouma. Sits with him and picks at the treats, at his teacup. It’s more tolerable than those weird card games that Ouma likes to force him through. Or the inane games of Clue. Or the detective dramas that he’s sure Ouma puts on just to watch him squirm.

He doesn’t enjoy it. But, he doesn’t think Ouma’s super crazy about his company either no matter how much he laughs.

They both have one reason for interacting with each other, and that reason—

“I think it’s best to break things off, Ouma-kun.”

“Eh? You’re breaking up with me, Saihara-chan?” Ouma doesn’t even pause in sipping his tea. It’s like they’re discussing how it might rain soon with his dry his tone is. “Just like that, huh.”

“It’s...” Saihara swallowed. He pushes away his own cup. “The more I hang out with you, the less Momota-kun looks at me.”

He just looks at you. You, you, you.

He can’t bear to say that because the last thing he needs is Ouma giving him one of those truly unpleasant smirks.

“You said that an upside to us hanging out would be that Momota-kun would pay me more attention.” Saihara tries not to grit his teeth. “But, it’s been the opposite. Because you’re nothing more than a dirty liar, Ouma-kun.”

Ouma doesn’t even look offended. He just looks bored.

“How was I supposed to know this was how things would turn out?” he asks, yawning into his hand. “Do I look like a seer? Well. It does break my heart that this backfired for you, Saihara-chan. My deepest, sincerest apologies.”

There’s not even an attempt to fake sincerity. For that, Saihara hates him.

“You had a suspicion it wouldn’t. You...”

“Me?” Ouma does feign innocence with wide eyes and pursed lips. “Don’t tell me that you think I’m trying to steal Momota-chan from you. Whyever would I do that? I already have Gonta, I have Amami-chan...” He ticks on his fingers. “Kiiboy’s so fun to mess with, too. And Akamatsu-chan! She’s so much better than Momota-chan. Whatever would I even need Momota-chan for?”

How is he supposed to answer that? Is he supposed to explain all the ways that Momota is kind and wonderful? How Momota is his strength and stability and how lucky he is to know him? How Momota is so overflowing with care and consideration that he looks out for everyone? Everyone—including Ouma?

How Momota keeps looking after Ouma, how he keeps bothering with Ouma, how he gets so worked up over Ouma, how he gets so fixated on Ouma because Ouma makes himself such a troublemaker—!

Ouma smiles at him, and Saihara knows in a heartbeat that the other is well aware. Of all that. There’s no point. There’s no point in trying to play along.

“The only reason you even pretended to notice me was because of Momota-kun.” That’s just a fact. He’s suspected it from the beginning. He’s not the kind of person to just attain another’s interest, after all. Even kind-hearted people like Akamatsu and Momota just treat him as they would any other person. “You wanted his attention, too.”

And you got it. You won. But.

“You don’t even know what to do with it. Momota-kun could look at you like you hung the moon and stars, and you wouldn’t have any idea what to do. You only know how to keep others at a distance, even as you manipulate them into chasing you. Ouma-kun...” Saihara blinked, realizing. “You’re pathetic.”

Ouma’s expression does change. He sets the tea aside. He leans in. There’s nothing but shadows encasing them both. Not a hint of light. Radiance. Anything.

“And you’re any better? If you wanted Momota-chan’s attention, surely there are better ways than trying to make him jealous. The two of you are supposed to be friends, right? Sai-ha-ra-chan?”

“You’re right,” he conceded. “I’m pathetic, too. But...at least being with you let me see the truth.”

That Momota-kun isn’t going to look at me the way he looks at you.

“Truth?”

It’s funny. Ouma looks genuinely confused. It’s really, really funny.

“What truth?”

“As a detective, it was easy to figure out,” he replied solemnly, shrugging as he did. “But, for a liar like you... It’ll probably take you a while, Ouma-kun.”

“What truth?” Ouma repeated, irritated. “You aren’t even going to tell me? You’re just going to keep that shit to yourself?! You sleazeball!”

Saihara stood up, pulling away even as Ouma scowled at him. With how small Ouma was, it was a wonder anyone could find him intimidating.

“I’m breaking things off. I’m just going to be a normal friend to Momota-kun. And you—you can do whatever, Ouma-kun. I don’t care. I really don’t.”

“Saihara-chan!” Ouma whined. Saihara doesn’t even twitch.

If he had been Momota, he would’ve at least grimaced with annoyance. But he’s not, so he doesn’t. There’s nothing to his expression at all.

“Do whatever you want,” he repeated, and he only lets his voice lower for this one thing. “Except, that’s a lie. I will keep an eye on what you do to Momota-kun. As his friend.”

“You liar,” Ouma hissed. “You’re an even worse liar than I am.”

“But I’m not as pathetic as you.”

Ouma opened his mouth, and then he shut it. His eyes glimmered with emotion—a storm of emotions that Saihara didn’t want to be caught up in, so he turned away.

“Have a nice day.”

“Ouma’s been in such a stormy mood lately,” Momota sighs later when they’re finally together. Except, Harukawa is there, too, and she’s outwardly irritated.

“Why do you care?” she griped.

“I don’t!” Momota exclaimed, and Saihara notes that it’s such an obvious lie that it’s despairing. Especially when Momota clears his throat a little, and even looks flustered. “I just...notice these things. You don’t think something happened, do ya?”

“I don’t know.” Harukawa rolled her eyes. “And I don’t care.”

Momota shuffles uncomfortably. He looks a little uncertain.

“What do you think, Shuuichi?” he asks next, looking at him—really looking towards him. And how dearly Saihara wanted to agree with Harukawa and tell him not to worry at all.

Except. He knows he doesn’t have that kind of control. And if he can’t do anything about Momota and Ouma getting closer, at the very least he doesn’t want himself and Momota to become more distant.

“Maybe... You should ask him yourself.”

Momota lights up.

“Yeah! Good point! I’ll do that, then! Thanks, Shuuichi!”

He shines brighter than the sun.

It hurts so much.

#Magi fics #Saimota #Oumota #Shuuichi Saihara #kokichi ouma

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prompt-master · 4 years

Note

(suddenly-danganronpa) well it’s not Saiouma, but I was recently reminded of an AU of mine where at the end of SDR2, Makoto lets Junko upload herself into his head because he wants to try and redeem her. Obviously, things go south fast, and I was wondering what your take on the idea would be?

I've actually thought about a similar AU myself, but she gets uploaded into her child self so Naegi is tasked with raising a baby terrorist into something that won't terrorize the world when she grows up. (I have a weakness for fics where characters turn into kids for no real reason lmao)

But yeah I think that would end up real bad. Real real bad. Enoshima knows how to get in your head, without already being in your head lmao. She would pick and prod at Naegi's every insecurity constantly. Every now and then she would pretend like she's changing, only to take control and do a horrible crime. I can see her taking control and trying to pretend like she is Naegi so people trust her before she does something awful. I also think on the side she would be working on reviving her AI so that she can spread her consciousness FNAF VR style.

I think a good focus on this AU is Naegi realizing that not everyone can be saved because not everyone wants to he saved. Enoshima isn't a victim of anything, she isn't meant to be sympathetic. She's just like that, so the only way to stop her is to kill her or make her...not herself. He thought that maybe she didn't understand, maybe she was hurt in the past, maybe she was conflicted. But now he's got her with him all the time and he can see firsthand that there is nothing but despair inside of her.

I would also like to see Naegi bonding but in...kind of disturbing ways. Like learning that she DID love all her friends. Which is exactly why she tortured them. And learning that Enoshima LOVES and HATES him at the same time, which is a constant risk to his well being because now she's a part of this body she adores and despises.

I thimk she would also try to talk to Kamukura, who would instantly know she's really Enoshima. She wants her Kamukura senpai back to help her end the world.

It's a race against time, getting Naegi ro either fight back control long enough to figure out a way to stop her ( possibly through deleting her forever) before she can spark another world ending movement.

Naegi will definetly need to be tied up by the survivors at some point

Also this would mean that Enoshima was there during dr3. And..I don't even want to imagine how bad that despair video wouldve been with her in his head.

💛 @suddenly-danganronpa 💛

#ask #danganronpa #sdr2 #sdr2 spoilers #makoto naegi #junko enoshima #AU #naegi gets gut punched by sakakura and hears cackling

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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 4 years

Text

You can’t possibly come in a T-rex costume to your own wedding

crackfic taken very seriously, pairing: saiouma, words: 1813

from orginal tags: Wedding Planing, how did it spiral down to that, Slice of Life, I should not have taken the wedding prompt, The Author Regrets Everything, except for the “do you ever wonder about...” but this is the part that you will hate

I don’t even know for what event I’ve made the T-rex trilogy anymore, but enjoy

No. No way. This is not an option. No. Stupid. He can't possibly be actually considering that. Momota must have been trying to prank him and he will not fall for that. His relationship with Shuichi is the one thing he can't afford to fuck up. This includes their wedding day, it has to be perfect, no foolishery that could destroy that, definitely not a T-rex costume. Not in a thousand years, even if he already had one and maybe deep down would want to wear it on big occasions instead of a boring suit, not on the wedding.

He had to admit it at least to himself. All of his life he's been a clown, never a serious person, there was a lot of dumb and irresponsible things he did just for the hell of it. That's the part of him that Momota knew, but there was more. Something he definitely wouldn't show in front of others. That is - he cared about Shuichi. A lot. It wasn't just some sort of fascination, they wouldn't be getting married if it was about curiosity or the looks, that could have been what initially brought them together. Now he couldn't imagine life without the other.

The years they spend together, it was already eight that they knew each other and five of dating. So much time is bound to change a person. Their beginings were... shaky, both of them had issues and they were still in high school at the time, so nobody believed they would last. But they learned from all the misunderstandings, fights and especially that one time when they techinically broke up, but made up soon after, if nothing else, then that incident surely taught them to communicate with each other. Therefore, what Momota was trying to tell him really didn't make sense. He was not only telling him that Shuichi was into dressing up as a dinosaur, he was telling him that he accidentaly discovered something Shuichi was hiding even from him and that it would be a good idea to use this knowledge to make a "nice" surprise for Shuichi and wear said costume to their wedding.

He took in a deep breath, whether Momota was serious or trying to prank him or whatever, he didn't have the strenght to think deeper into it, but at the same time he had to hold in the urge to punch that idiot. He thought that by know they were over their conflicts from school years or at least that Momota valued his friendship with Saihara enough to respect his relationship with Ouma, but apparently not. Doing something like this would obviously make him look like he wasn't serious about the marriage and most likely tear them apart and yet the astronaut had the gall to suggest him doing that. It was disrespectful to Shuichi's privacy (if it was true), too.

Masking his anger with a fake smile he promised to himself that he's going to hold on to that grudge, perhaps trash the guy's wedding when the time comes, assuming that he ends up having the balls to propose... it's more likely that Harukawa will, it was clear who's wearing pants in that relationship. For now, he told him that he'll "think about it" and that "it could be fun". Which, little did the spaceman know, was a code for "I'm gonna talk about it with Shuichi as soon as I can and avoid any and all unnecessary drama you could cause with this ploy."

Feeling mentally exhausted after Momota left he sat dawn on the couch and sighed. How was he going to approach the subject?

It could be said that Momota was always there, technically they all knew each other since the beginning of high school, but Kokichi was distant for the first two years while the other two became friends right away. It was obvious that Shuichi considered him a dear friend, it would be wrong to start with accusing the guy of having ill intent. It would be just cruel and unnecessery, they already had arguments about Ouma not mixing well with his boyfriend's friend group in the past, it resolved with an agreement that they don't have to like each other's friends, it's enough if they don't fight over them.

They both have their own judgement and free will, it's a part of trusting your partner to let them be and don't be forceful about who they should hang out with. Controlling behavior is such a big red flag and they were above that. Yeah, jealousy on his part and wanting people he cared about to get along on Shuichi's side started the argument, but what they did was talk it out. So yeah, implying that perhaps Momota wanted to sabotage their wedding was not an option. It would make him the asshole who made Shuichi choose between who's side to take.

He didn't want to accept that, but he knew what he had to do. Looks like his plans for the evening just got interesting.

Busy as a bee,it was usual for Saihara to come back late, but recently he was trying to come back home earlier, but the part that worried his soon to be husband that it was not to rest, did he ever? He was coming home to do more work related to wedding preparations or he was sneaking his real job in, Kokoichi was doing his best trying to stop the latter, knowing that this workaholic habit has to stop and made sure he had equal share of the first one. Actually, they tried to do most things together, when it came to the wedding it was of great importance to them for everything to be mutually agreed upon. They mastered the art of compromising a long time ago and knew their preferences well enough, which could cause people to wrongly assume it would be a piece of cake.

Bad wording. The thought of cake made him slightly nauseus. How many cakes you have to try before you pick one? How many places you have to see before you know which is the right one? How many designs of an invitation do you have to look throug before they make you choose between two nearly identical? What about decorations? Music? Having to learn the first dance? Panicking in the dressing room while trying on a suit, because you've seen the price and you don't deserve to wear it just as much as you don't deserve the love of your partner, but you can't stain this shit with tears and you start to doubt if the last five years was just a dream and you're gonna wake up being a teenager with nobody who'd care and acne again?

Do you ever wonder about those things?

Anyway. Shuichi coming home meant he had to get moving, today they had plans, they were going to visit his uncle to personally hand him the invitation. Good thing, that he lived close, but even better that not next door. Coming over for dinner was not a problem, but they had their privacy, it was perfect.

First though, he had to prepare a relaxing bath for Shuichi, he needs a break before continuing the day and won't give it to himself, so somebody else has. If the whole purpose wasn't for his fiance to rest, he'd gladly join him in it too, but maybe some other time.

Meeting partner's family seems to be the thing that always make people nervous, but reality is that after a while it becomes normal, it depends on how confident a person is, some people relax after making the first impression or maybe that just happens in books he read and it's normal to need more time like he did, but nonetheless it fades and eventually there's nothing to be nervous about, because at this point they'd either openly disapprove or started to treat you as a part of the family. For reasons unknown to him he got accepted and got called "son"which felt weird.

Today wasn't a typical visit, though, so a shred of familiar nervousness appeared. With how much of a big deal they did out of engagment everyone knew about them getting married, so technically it wasn't like they were breaking the news. Hell, he consulted with and asked for approval of Shuichi's uncle as the closest family he got before proposing. And yet it felt as if he was doing it for the second time. This time, thankfully there was Shuichi with him, it was always easier to face situations that challenged their insecurities together. Especially situations that stressed them both out, it boosted their protectiveness of each other and with the mutual support built they could face anything, even Shuichi's parents when they visited once. Speaking about them, they weren't invited.

He quickly realized that his worries were baseless, the man happily accepted the invitation and congratulated them, deep down he knew that he shouldn't expect any diffrent, but he still was relieved.

The rest of the evening passed in more relaxed atmosphere. They talked a bit more about details of the wedding and plans for the honeymoon - they were going to spend two weeks by the sea before coming back to the mundane life. During that conversation he managed to bring up the subject of costumes in a subtle way.

Casually, after taking a sip of his tea, he looked at Shuichi to see his reaction and dropped the bomb. "We could indulge in some untraditional aspects, for example apply a theme, some people pull that off pretty well, I've seen a couple get married on a boat with a Love Live theme or some others had everyone wear costumes and it was just stellar. Our is going to be rather small, roughly thirty people, so that would be doable."

He din't have to say that it's because there would be no one to come from his side as he's an orphan, it hung heavy in the air anyway, so he kept speaking to chase it away. It was impossible to tell if Shuichi's eyes widened because of the mention of costumes or at what his last sentence implied.

"It's just a random thought, since everything's decided by now and we kept it pretty simple, but it's such a special occasion that I understand wanting to have an extravagant wedding and even take said extravagance to another level, why not, it is once in a lifetime."

Shuichi didn't have any strong reaction to that and only asked if he's pointing at something in a tone that suggested nothing, it wasn't nervous at all and Shuichi sucked at hiding his emotions. The only possible conclusion was that he had no idea about the whole thing.

"Silly Shumai, I said it was a random thought, didn't I?"

#ndrv3 #danganronpa #saiouma #kokichi oma #shuichi saihara #crack taken seriously #made by me

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viscariaa · 4 years

Text

Day 3 - Saiouma Week - Postgame - Love Like You

Ship: Oumasai/Saiouma

Words: 1077

Type: Postgame AU/Angst/Fluff

Trigger Warning: Self-degrading comments

Posted: 08.02.20

Song: Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar

Description: Two years after Danganronpa Season 53, Kokichi is still wondering why Shuichi decided to date him.

Two years since the last season of Danganronpa. Two years since they have all been released from the hospital. Two years since Shuichi confessed his love to the tiny supreme leader. A year since he moved into a house with his Beloved.

Then, why?

Why was he feeling so sad?

Kokichi was snuggled up on the couch, a blanket around him, “I’m Kokichi Oma, the...ultimate...supreme...leader. Supreme leaders don’t cry!”

Then, the memory came crashing down. “Supreme leader? That’s funny,” Kokichi tries to laugh off the pain, but tears flow down.

“Ugh, can’t this hurry up!” Kokichi whined at a nurse.

“I can’t keep my subordinates waiting!”

“About that…” The nurse avoided his eye contact, “DICE was a made up organization. Tsumugi wanted to make you have a more interesting backstory. I’m sorry.”

“T-that’s...a l-lie right?”

The nurse didn’t reply, giving all the answers needed to Kokichi to know the nurse was telling the truth.

CREEK!

He rushed over to the front door, throwing the blanket aside. “It’s 9 PM? Had Shuichi come home early from work! Please...I don’t want to be alone right now…”

He swings the door opened only to see nothing but bills upon bills. Kokichi snatches them up before going back inside the house, he throws the bills on the ground before stumbling back onto the couch.

I always thought I might be bad.

“Why?” Kokichi pulls on his purple hair, “why did he choose me? There are way better people than me? Why did Shuichi date me?”

Kaede is an obviously amazing choice. She is kind, beautiful, confident, smart, everything Kokichi isn’t. Everything he wishes to be.

“Even after all I did. After all I said. How I caused three people to die,” Kokichi shudders, “why not Kaede? Why not Rantaro? Hell, even dumbass Kaito has a better chance than me!”

Now I’m sure that it’s true.

“Miu...Gonta...Kaito…” He whispers, thinking about what he did.

He shouldn’t have manipulated Gonta. He should have just accepted his fate. Why did he want to use Gonta? Gonta may have only wanted to be a “true gentleman” but he was still kind to Kokichi.

“I’m horrible,” Kokichi bites his nails, “I used Gonta’s kindness for myself. I’m so selfish…”

Miu. He chuckles, remembering the bickering between the two. The horny comments she made, which made him make fun of her. The names they called each other. Then, he remembers the toilet paper. How he turned the tables on her, how he got Gonta to kill her.

Kokichi winces, “Miu just wanted to survive like me. So, why didn’t I help everyone like that. Nobody liked me, anyways. What a loss would it have been?”

His thoughts drifted over to Kaito. He remembers the talk between the two of them in the hanger. Kokichi doubts Kaito believed him, but he still made Kokichi’s plan happen.

Even though it failed.

Even though it cost Kaito, his life.

“Failed…failure,” Kokichi mutters, guilt appearing on his shoulders.

He recounts Shuichi telling him what happened. How the trial happened, what everyone said afterwards...Kaito’s execution. Kokichi has wanted to talk to him again, to try and save whatever kind of relationship they had. But his fear stops him. What would Kaito say? What about Maki?

Kaito was always an idiot. He trusts others way too easily. He was too obvious to miss assassin crush. He had friends.

‘Cause I think you're so good. And I’m nothing like you.

Shuichi Saihara…the kind-hearted detective. More braver than Kokichi will ever be. Confronting the truth head on unlike himself who crawls and hides like a maggot under lies. Much smarter for figuring out the class trials. Forgiving everyone despite what they have done in the game with no questions asked.

“Why did he date me?” Kokichi asks again. “I’m nothing but trash…��

Look at you go. I just adore you.

Everyone has been moving on. Rantaro is spending time with his sisters, Kirumi is starting a maid company, Kaito and Maki are married, and Kaede is working as a pianist. Shuichi is a detective, barely at home, but as long as he is happy, Kokichi is fine.

But, Kokichi sits at home. He can’t face the world, not the world who watched him get crushed. He just sits at home, basically freeloading off of Shuichi. Sure, he does all of the housework, but it’s not enough.

Despite it all, he wants to have Shuichi. He wants to call Shuichi, his boyfriend. Kokichi sobs into his hands, “why do I keep falling for those lies? How could he ever love me? How could he think I’m good enough to stand with him?”

“H-he should...be with someone better...s-someone who is good enough. J-j-just leave…leave me.”

I wish that I knew. What makes you think I’m so special.

“Awww, what makes you say that…”

Kokichi hears the familiar soft spoken voice behind him, arms wrapped around his frail body. “I’m trying to be honest…”

“Honestly? That’s new,” Shuichi giggles, “s-sorry! That was rude of me…”

“...”

Shuichi lets his hands wander to Kokichi’s waist, pressing his body against Kokichi. But Kokichi refuses to accept the warm feeling coming into his heart. He tries to shove Shuichi off, but due to him crying, it was weak.

“Shuichi, I’m sorry for-” Shuichi kisses Kokichi’s cheek, “you don’t have to be sorry for anything, my Kichi.”

He continues to kiss all over Kokichi’s face, “I love you...I love you, Kichi. I love you so much…”

Shuichi decides to hop onto the couch and begins to cuddle his boyfriend. “Kokichi, I will always adore you, and nothing can change that. It’s the truth.”

Then, he kisses Kokichi. It was gentle, making Kokichi feel Shuichi’s overwhelming love. “Of course, how could I forget? I love him and he loves me. He would never leave…”

“Your eyes are really red...sorry for taking so long. I’m lucky Kyoko was there to cover my shift…” He laughed, sounding like music to Kokichi’s ears.

“Let’s watch Kiki’s Delivery Service …” Kokichi suggests, feeling groggy from crying so much.

“Sounds perfect!” Shuichi gets up, making Kokichi groan from losing his touch, and turns on the TV. They return to their original positions, Shuichi giving Kokichi small kisses and whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

“I’m really happy we’re together, Shumai...” Kokichi snuggles even closer to Shuichi.

Shuichi kisses the back of Kokichi’s hand, “I love you, Kichi.”

Whoops! This is a day late, but it’s for Prompt #3 - Postgame by @saiouma-events. I had a pregame one-shot planned but I ended up hating it, and wrote a new one. Sending you lovelies good luck! - December

#saiouma #oumasai #postgame #au #fanfic #angst #songfic #saioumaweek2020 #fluff #day late but whatever #rip my wrist #writing #shuichi x kokichi #love like you #Day 3: Postgame/Pregame

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lynneshobbydomain · 5 years

Note

“Jinx, you owe me a coke.” - *can’t speak until they buy a soda* (panta or coffee would fit better?) Saiouma? Except they also can't do coupley stuff and Kokichi *really* wants affection and Shuichi *really* wants Kokichi's weird antics. Who will give in first?

(This was an interesting prompt Anon. Especially all of the rules that you gave me. I had to really think on how to write this, so I hope this is to your liking! Thank you for your support as always!)

The Jinx Rule

Rated: T (Miu has a mouth guys and Kokichi is frustrated)

Summary: D.I.C.E made the rules. Miu just perfected them.

“Again?!” Shuichi and Kokichi asked at the same time, staring at Miu before turning towards each other. “Jinx, you owe me a drink.” They said again and Miu cackled.

They were about to turn around to leave, when the bell rang across the school grounds. Miu cackled harder and they both turned to face her. Kokichi more out of annoyance and Shuichi more out of curiosity.

“What you think that we’re just going to let your fucking organization have the fun? We’re adding onto that bullshit!” Miu proclaimed and Shuichi’s eyebrow rose higher up. “Until you guys can fulfill that stupid promise, Cockichi can’t shove his dick in your face, Suckihara. That also goes for you too though! So don’t think you can fuck your way outta this.”

Shuichi’s cheeks burned brightly. It was a mistake to introduce D.I.C.E’s rule to his friends for sure. Kokichi’s cheeks were red, and he knew that he had half of the mind to open his mouth and lay on her. Yet, he wouldn’t break a rule that D.I.C.E themselves created, and he was the type that would go all out with the extra challenge.

He couldn’t reach out to try to tug Kokichi out of his thoughts either. All he could do was head into the classroom and pray that Kokichi would get the hint and follow. This was going to be a long day.

It was hell. Normally Shuichi was all in for quiet. He usually basked in these moments when they were forced to stay silent. D.I.C.E only had the silent rule because most of their members were talkative and it was punishment. Introverts like himself, Widow, and Ouverte usually were all in for the silent games. In fact, they would try to prolong that silence as long as they possibly could. Widow had the highest streak of keeping a jinx going. It made Trick and Shuffle suffer since they were the ones that she mostly got in her web. Shuichi had to admire that.

Miu’s rule on the other hand, no matter the implications, were pretty firm. Kokichi couldn’t do his affection routine. He couldn’t talk. He couldn’t hug. He couldn’t do anything. Shuichi wasn’t much of a PDA person to begin with, but it was weird hearing Kokichi behind him, and not getting jumped on.

Kokichi must have put some hidden boundaries on himself to make the challenge “extra exciting” too. Throughout class, Shuichi was able to focus on the note-taking and the lecture. Kokichi by this point would have thrown a love note or something on his desk, trying to get them into trouble, but nothing crossed his desk. He looked over his shoulder to see that he was gnawing at his pen, staring ahead determinedly. Shuichi pursed his lips together as he also turned back to face the front. It was just...weird to not have a distraction.

Shuichi was starting to miss the affection. Normally it was aggravating, a little annoying, and unnecessary. He missed being jumped on as weird as that sounded, even Shuichi was astonished by that thought. He didn’t realize how often or how much Kokichi touched. Whether it was hanging off his shoulders, arms, acting like a backpack, Kokichi was always touching.

He also missed his voice. The silent game was fun, yes, but Shuichi wasn’t the type to make it go for too long unless he was absolutely trying to concentrate on something. But even then, Kokichi normally ended the jinx by getting him a coffee from the pot and calling it a peace treaty. Sometimes, Kokichi let it go on for longer if he thought Shuichi really didn’t need his voice yelling around in their dorm room, but would lay in his lap. He’d play with Shuichi’s hair. He’s poke at his cheek just to get his attention.

They weren’t too far from each other. Shuichi might as well admit that he picked up a thing or two about being dramatic, because it really was torture feeling like Kokichi was across the room when he was just a desk away. He glanced over at Kokichi again, and this time met violet eyes.

Kokichi had bit through the pen. Blue ink was staining his lips and mouth. Shuichi’s eyes widened and Kokichi furrowed his brows at him. Shuichi knew that being silent meant not being able to gesture. Kokichi was fluent in sign language for god knows what reason, and that broke the rule of no communication. Shuichi licked his lips and Kokichi mirrored the action before his face twisted comically.

It was the fastest Shuichi ever saw someone run out of the classroom too.

The door slammed catching everyone’s attention and Shuichi turned back to face the front.

He kind of hoped that while Kokichi attempted to wash out his mouth, he’d also try to sneak towards a vending machine.

That fucking bitch was going to have another thing coming to her, Kokichi swore in his brain. He didn’t mind adding more people to the game. That made it fun. What made it suck was that Miu thought she knew how to make a game more exciting. More challenging. Kokichi fucking hated it. Shuichi would go along with it, because Shuichi was gentle and kind and liked to give everyone a chance. Kokichi thought about strangling her.

He wanted to hug his boyfriend goddamn it. He wanted to jump on his back. Kokichi didn’t miss how Shuichi had braced himself when he heard him coming up from behind. Kokichi knew the offer was loud and clear, but thanks to the no PDA fucking rule, Kokichi had to bite his tongue and hold himself back.

He hated it. Kokichi slammed the bathroom door closed behind him as he went to the sink. His teeth stained blue and his lips looked as though he just finished kissing someone with hypothermia, or a corpse. He could taste the ink still on his tongue and it made him wince. Using his elbow to not get more ink everywhere, he turned on the faucet and started running his hands into the water. He brought them up and tried to rinse his mouth out of the taste and of the pigment, spitting out blue water until it was kind of clear.

The silent game he could handle. He knew how to make silence his bitch. This though? This?! Kokichi pursed his lips together as he looked at himself in the mirror. He felt pathetic, but...he loved giving affection. Shuichi didn’t either get a whole lot at home, or maybe just didn’t know how to respond to it, but he was always so flustered when someone just ruffled his hair. Forget how shy he got with a kiss. He liked being the one to make Shuichi’s cheeks flush. All Kokichi ever wanted was to not let one day go where Shuichi questioned if he was loved.

Kokichi didn’t ask about Shuichi’s past much. They talked about the detective work, about his uncle and his family. They talked about D.I.C.E...but history wasn’t something either of them were willing to impart on each other. Kokichi was fine with that. There wasn’t much of his past that he was willing to look back on, and he was sure Shuichi felt the same. But they both lacked the same thing. Affection and love. Kokichi spent years finding that with his organization. He was willing to spend decades building it with Shuichi.

It just sucked that so far it’s been three hours since that stupid jinx happened, and Kokichi wasn’t sure if Shuichi knew if he was loved. Shuichi’s insecurity could be the death of the entire class. His humble attitude. His gentle smile.

Kokichi smacked his cheeks. There was only one way to solve this.

Screw Miu.

After school Shuichi felt something cold hit the back of his neck and he jumped out of his skin. He turned around, a lecture on his tongue, when he saw what Kokichi was holding. A cold can of coffee. The jinx was broken and Shuichi never felt more relieved. Without a second thought, he took the offered drink and set it on his desk. “Jesus Christ never again.” Kokichi groaned. “That was hell, Shumai. Literal hell. Thousand of burning hells. I’d thought I was going to die.”

“You weren’t going to die.”

“You don’t know that! I need a thousand hugs every hour, otherwise I’ll shrivel up like a houseplant and I’ll fade away into nothing! Nothing!” Kokichi proclaimed loudly as he wrapped his arms around Shuichi’s neck and started rubbing their cheeks together.

“Kokichi-”

“Don’t say you didn’t miss this.” Kokichi replied slowly.

“Of course I missed this.” Shuichi leaned a little into the cheek rub. “But you weren’t going to shrivel up like a houseplant. We could’ve left together to get a drink.”

“You don’t know that, and I wanted to end it now.”

“I do know that.” Shuichi reached up and gently hugged Kokichi’s arms that were draped around his neck.

“Shumai’s being so mean to me. What did I do?! If anything, you were the one that taught Miu our stupid rule!” To his credit, Kokichi only pulled himself closer, as though he could drape himself like a boa around Shuichi’s shoulders.

“Hey!” Miu shouted, reminding the boys that a few of their classmates hadn’t left yet.

“You went along with it!” Shuichi pouted back, leaning into the hold easily.

“Oh for fucks sake, if I trick you into doing a jinx again, will you two shut the fuck up and stop with the PDA porn? Not everyone wants to see that!” Miu groaned.

“No.” They both said together before groaning. “Jinx.” They said together in a defeated tone of voice. Kokichi slipping off of Shuichi’s shoulders reluctantly and Shuichi wishing for once he had just shut up himself.

“FUCK YES!” Miu shouted and the rest of the class erupted into snickers and giggles.

Kokichi flipped Miu off, and Shuichi wanted to bang his head on the desk. At least they’ll be quicker to get to a vending machine this time.

#trickyfindings #miu iruma #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #saiouma #oumasai #dialogue prompt #danganronpa fanfic #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #i hope you enjoyed this anon #you gave me a hell of a challenge with this #Anonymous

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rovelae · 3 years

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Behind the Scenes of “Hologram”

Today marks exactly one year since I posted arguably my most popular fic. “Hologram” is a postgame Saiouma one-shot about escapism, loneliness, and running away from the past. I put a lot of myself into this fic and I’m blown away by all the love it’s received, not only on AO3 but in Discord servers and other social media. All that excitement made me keep thinking about it, so I thought I’d share a (very self-indulgent) behind-the-scenes of sorts about how I wrote it, as well as what I think of the story.

This essay will contain spoilers for the whole fic, so if you’d like to read it first, you can find it here. Of course, if the tags scare you off, that’s valid, but you might want to skip this post too since I’ll be quoting it throughout (so, just to be safe, expect the warnings I’ve posted on AO3 to apply here too).

If you’re a Lorde fan you’ll recognize the lyrics in the fic summary – “Nothing’s wrong when nothing’s true,” from “Buzzcut Season.” The inspiration for this fic came to me while I was on my way to an early shift at work, and I needed a good song in my head to give me the will to live for the next eight hours. Not sure why I chose that song in particular, but maybe part of it is because I like imagining stories to go along with the songs I listen to, like AMVs playing in my head, and I’d never been able to pin down exactly what this song reminded me of.

The mood of the music is really what compelled me – there’s something lonely about it, and the lyrics sound like the singer’s trying to convince herself that everything’s okay even when all evidence points otherwise. There are “explosions on TV”, and “The men up on the news / They try to tell us all that we will lose,” but “we live beside the pool / Where everything is good.” Despite everything going wrong, despite the notes of fear creeping into the pre-chorus, the character will “play along… in a hologram with you” and “never go home again.”

From there, it was an easy jump to “postgame Saiou” and that was that.

There’s a cloud of seagulls hovering in the air around him, and a dozen or so more standing just out of reach, staring him down with beady black eyes. Kokichi takes a slice of bread from the loaf he’s holding and tosses it to one of the birds, watches it catch it and stumble under the weight, watches its head bob as it tries to swallow the whole thing at once. It gets remarkably far before four other birds descend on it, shrieking wildly.

“Mine, mine, mine,” he mumbles into his folded arms, wondering if Shuichi would get the reference.

He really wishes Shuichi was here.

Kokichi upends the rest of the loaf of bread onto the sidewalk and laughs at the resulting chaos until his chest aches.

To start off, I wanted to create the same lonely mood from “Buzzcut Season” in Kokichi’s simulation. He’s not exactly trapped there, but he’s refusing to leave, because as long as he’s on the fake Jabberwock Island, he can pretend the killing game never happened. The trade-off to that escapism is that the only people he can talk to are the NPCs, who aren’t complex enough to be remotely interesting to him, and Usami, who… well, tries her best, but is more of an informational / moderation program and can’t offer him what a therapist could.

The only thing Kokichi has to look forward to is Shuichi, who he’s convinced is an extremely lifelike computer program rather than the real thing, because the real Shuichi would definitely hate him for everything that happened during the killing game. He’s so locked into this line of logic that he doesn’t let himself consider that Shuichi has forgiven him – he doesn’t even have a good answer for why the Future Foundation wouldn’t just keep the supposed Shuichi AI on indefinitely, believing it’s their way of baiting him into leaving the simulation.

It’s not a healthy or sustainable lifestyle in the slightest, but Kokichi stubbornly refuses to do anything but wander the islands aimlessly, passing the time with ice cream and feeding seagulls until the next time he can see Shuichi.

He dreams that DICE is here in the simulation with him, smiling and carefree as they explore the weird music venue. One of them has gotten the karaoke machine working, and another found a box of kazoos and maracas in the back room. Kokichi already pities anyone unfortunate enough to walk by the building tonight.

“Not going to sing, Joker?” one of his DICE asks (over the sound of their youngest member shrieking through seven kazoos at once), sitting on the bench next to him.

“Some games are more fun to watch than play,” he answers, leaning back on his hands and sighing.

“Like a killing game.”

The warm dream-atmosphere turns cold then, and Kokichi’s head snaps over to look at him—but his brother is gone and Kaito’s looking back at him instead, blood in his teeth and face ashen pale.

“You... we don’t have to do this, man,” Kaito says, but it’s a lie and they both know it, and he doesn’t want to look behind him because he knows the machine’s looming over him with its unyielding steel and slow slow slow descent—

“You’re not real,” he snaps at dream-Kaito, who doesn’t respond except to lift him up again. “Nothing’s real, none of—PUT ME DOWN! LET GO OF ME! DON’T PUT ME BACK IN THERE!”

“Death is more mercy than you deserve,” Kaito says, and Kokichi claws and bites and kicks his way out of Kaito’s grasp like a wild animal, only to end up in front of a prison cell full of—

DICE, his beloved DICE, trapped and hurt and afraid, bloodied and beaten and helpless.

“Why didn’t you save us, boss?” says his second-in-command, clutching the bars with bleeding hands. “Why didn’t you do more? Now we’re all dead and it’s because of you.”

Moments like this are my reference to Buzzcut Season’s pre-chorus, where the not-okay starts to creep into the illusion. Despite Kokichi’s valiant efforts to forget, he’s still dealing with the aftermath of seeing his family hurt and in danger, watching his friends die, orchestrating the deaths of two of them, being killed himself— and then being told every bit of it was made up to entertain an audience who sees nothing wrong with that picture. Running away is not the way to heal from trauma, and one day soon it’s all bound to come crashing down around him.

“Do you know what this … island paradise represents, Kokichi?” [Hinata] asks, and Kokichi’s really not in the mood for a lecture but he continues anyway. “Jabberwock Island … was the setting for the fiftieth season of Danganronpa. The golden anniversary, they called it. It was my season.”

Kokichi hunches over, hugging his arms over his torso and stifiling a scream. He does not want to think about this right now—

“They wanted it to be the best season of all, which, unfortunately for us, meant it was also the bloodiest,” Hinata says. “Twice as many participants, deadly traps hidden across each of the islands— they even changed the way the motives worked, like when they told Fuyuhiko to cut out his own eye so Peko could have a quick death instead of suffering for days.”

“Do I look like your therapist, porcupine-head?” Kokichi hisses. A sharp pain is pounding into his skull, and there’s a bitter, metallic taste at the back of his throat. A taste like poison and blood.

“There was so much going on that the simulation malfunctioned,” Hinata says. “When people died, their Ultimate talents downloaded themselves into me. I’m told that the stress of so many personality grafts came close to liquefying my frontal lobe. I’m lucky I woke up at all… especially considering more than half of the others didn’t.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Kokichi grates out through the static building in his head. If he opens his eyes, will he see the beach or the dull chrome of the machine closing in on him?

“Because I know how much you want to forget about what happened,” Hinata says. “Believe me, I get it.”

….

“These things that happened to us… we can’t erase them, no matter how much we want to. Some things have to be remembered.”

I’d mostly like to leave Hajime’s season up to interpretation, but there are a couple things I wanted to say about it. I imagine Danganronpa is like the Hunger Games in that it’d go all out for big anniversaries. So, there were twice as many participants for the Jabberwock Island beatdown that was probably subtitled “Bloodbath Bay” or something equally appealing. The game’s formula changed from a focus on the mystery and the trials to “look at all these kids massacring each other a la Lord of the Flies,” and since the VR system wasn’t equipped to handle that many people and their deaths, it malfunctioned, giving Hajime way too many Ultimate talents and putting half the cast into comas from which they never woke up.

Viewers either absolutely loved or absolutely hated this season, depending on whether they were DR fans because of the “blood n’ guts” factor or the “mystery and psychological thriller” aspect. Team Danganronpa faced quite a bit of backlash for actually causing the real-life deaths of half its participants, but were able to weasel their way out of serious legal repercussions because of the waivers the participants had signed beforehand (plus a lot of bribery and falling back on their longstanding popularity). So, the cast of Season 50 failed to end the killing game, but helped provide great evidence for the “Danganronpa is morally wrong” argument.

Hajime works as a victim liaison for the Future Foundation and has been trying to take down Danganronpa since he got out of it. He’s like that in a few of my fics, actually; I like the idea of Hajime acting as a big brother of sorts to the V3 cast. It’s especially entertaining to imagine his interactions with Kokichi— though maybe not so much in Hologram, since to Kokichi he’s a representation of the past he’s trying so desperately to forget and the future he refuses to acknowledge.

“SHUT UP!” He launches himself at Hinata, his hands wrapping around the other man’s throat as he uses his momentum to slam him to the ground. “SHUT! UP!”

“Ko— ghk—” Hinata coughs, eyes wide with surprise, but aside from moving his hands up to grip Kokichi’s wrists, he doesn’t seem all that worried about fighting back.

The thought only fuels Kokichi’s rage until he’s choking Hinata so hard his knuckles are white. “If you want me out of this simulation so badly, you can kill me,” he snarls. “I’m never waking up! I’m never leaving, do you UNDERSTAND ME?”

Hinata grimaces, the outline of his avatar flickering, but he still doesn’t struggle, and Kokichi hates him all the more for it, despises him with a seething malice that festers low in his stomach. He wonders distantly if he’d actually kill this man in real life. Or if he’d be able to stop himself, feeling like this.

Kokichi’s breakdown here is more out of fear than anger. Like I mentioned, Kokichi sees Hajime as another piece of what’s hurt him, and no matter how Hajime tries to help, Kokichi will always remember Danganronpa whenever he sees him.

Warm yellow-orange light casts a relaxed, cozy glow over the dining hall. It’s an ambience compounded by the flickering candles on the table, which seems overly idyllic, but Kokichi will let it slide because of the adorable way Shuichi flushed when he noticed them as they sat down. Well, if he’s being honest, everything about Shuichi right now is adorable, from the way his hair keeps falling into his eyes to the way he’s nervously fiddling wth his chopsticks. Kokichi wishes he could keep staring at him forever.

Ah, not… not in a weird way, though, just… because Shuichi’s beautiful, and when Kokichi looks at him he can forget everything bad that’s ever happened, can create some new and brighter world to exist in.

This is an idea I wish I’d had room to explore a bit more in the story— that is, just how far Kokichi will go to pretend everything’s fine. I thought about making him border on delusional, like having him talk to people who aren’t there or forget what’s actually happening around him because he’s so lost in his fiction-within-a-fiction. It would have creeped Shuichi out a whole lot.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much room for that past the plot I’d already nailed down, so I focused on his loneliness and escapism instead. I do touch on it later in this scene, though— the couple paragraphs where he slips into fantasizing about being a phantom thief having a surreptitious meeting with his detective under the not-so-subtle supervision of his DICE. There would have been a lot more of that if I’d gone with the ‘delusion’ stylistic choice, to the point where even the readers would be confused about what’s real. Maybe I’ll look into writing something similar in a future story.

Eventually, Shuichi sets down his bowl and looks away with a little sigh, and Kokichi clenches his teeth because that’s the sigh he does when it’s time for that conversation.

“Um… Kokichi?”

Kokichi’s only response is to exhale the breath he’d been holding in a quiet hiss.

“I-I know you don’t want to, but… but I really need to talk to you about something,” Shuichi says. “Please?”

“My Mr. Detective can talk about whatever he’d like!” Kokichi says with a lilt to his tone that makes it sound more sarcastic than he wants it to. He takes the last bite of curry and wishes that it burns hot enough to hurt.

“It’s about Kaito.”

This more serious part of the date scene is meant to reflect the little bridge in “Buzzcut Season”:

“Cola with the burnt-out taste

I’m the one you tell your fears to

There’ll never be enough of us.”

It’s a part of the song that sounds especially bittersweet to me, a bit of self-awareness between the insistence that everything’s okay.

Really all I think I managed was to reference it when Kokichi’s internal dialogue comments on his drink being “so sweet it tastes burnt” and then later not tasting like anything. But hopefully the mood’s still there.

“Tell him… that I have nothing against him,” he says.

“That’s … not a lie?” Shuichi presses.

Kokichi shakes his head idly, still not raising his gaze. “I wanted to wreck the killing game and he wanted to save his friend. We both got what we wanted. I’d say the end more than justifies the means.”

Was that a lie?

(I don’t want to die Shuichi I’m sorry I’m sorry save me Shuichi please I’m sorry ithurtsmakeitstop—)

His fingers tighten into clawlike shapes, nails digging sharply into his forearms.

I really don’t think Kokichi would have anything against Kaito, even if here he’s not being completely honest with how much he’s affected by what happened. It wouldn’t make sense to him to hate Kaito for something he himself proposed, but I think there’d still be a subconscious barrier between them. Too much history.

“Don’t go, Shuichi, I’m so sorry, I— that was so dumb, what I said, please don’t be sad anymore.” He’s not sure if he can’t breathe because of the exertion of running or because of the hysteria boiling over in his head. “Please don’t go, I didn’t mean to hurt you— please don’t leave, Shuichi, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Kokichi….” Shuichi’s tone is strange, soft and pitying, like he sees something Kokichi doesn’t, and he shakes his head slowly as more tears follow the paths of the others.

Kokichi goes to his knees, ready to grovel if that’s what it takes, but Shuichi follows him down, closing his other hand over Kokichi’s, and then they’re both crying and he doesn’t know why, and all he can do is repeat a mantra of I’m sorry and hold on as tight as he can.

It’s horrible. Shuichi’s horrible. Shuichi’s wonderful, and kind and lovely and perfect and Kokichi hates him, Kokichi adores him, and it doesn’t matter because Shuichi’s not actually here but Kokichi doesn’t want to be alone, just let me pretend some more, please, please let me have this—

“I’ll… I’ll stay,” Shuichi says at last. “I can stay a while longer.”

You shouldn’t, Kokichi wants to say, but his mouth won’t obey him. You shouldn’t stay if you don’t want to. I don’t deserve having you here. I’m not worth your mercy.

But there on the bridge, crying tears of relief, he soaks up as much mercy as he can get and hopes it’s enough to drown him.

I wanted to create a contrast between them that highlights just how the isolation and trauma Kokichi’s experiencing has affected him. He has an almost unhealthy reliance on Shuichi as “the only thing that makes this world bearable,” and panics when faced with the prospect of being alone again so soon. Part of why Shuichi’s crying is because he’s realized the extent of Kokichi’s desperation. It’s not that he thinks Kokichi’s apology is insincere, but that he’s hardly heard him apologize for anything before, so Kokichi going this far has him realizing how bad things really are.

The door rumbles and slides open when they approach, revealing the bright light of the log-out point that took Shuichi away every time, that would wake Kokichi up in his real body if he walked into it. Shuichi stops just a step away from it, biting his lip as if searching for something to say, but before he can find it, Kokichi reaches out to tug at his sleeve.

“Shuichi?” he says, distant as the waves on the beach that he can still hear if he listens closely enough. Shuichi turns back toward him. “Before you go, can I be selfish one more time?”

“Huh…?”

Shuichi doesn’t move when Kokichi steps closer, reaches up to ghost his fingertips over Shuichi’s jaw and around the back of his neck. He lets Kokichi tilt his head downward, lets him hover inches away, close enough to feel their breath mingle in the night air. Kokichi pauses there to give him the chance to pull away. He doesn’t.

So Kokichi closes his eyes and the distance between them.

That last line is a ZEUGMA! It’s a literary device where one word refers to two more in a different way. A popular example is the hyenas’ line “Our teeth and ambitions are bared” from The Lion King. It’s my favorite grammatical trick and I’d love to see more of it in fanfic.

Slowly, he slides his hand down to Shuichi’s shoulder, using it as leverage to push himself away. That hurts even more. He can’t seem to open his eyes, and he feels so weakened, breathless, fragile. Cracked open, hollowed out.

When he finally does open his eyes, Shuichi’s are wide with some mix of astonishment and a dozen other emotions. Kokichi bows his head, taking a deep breath to ground himself. “Sorry,” he whispers. “I just wanted to know.”

“Kokichi,” Shuichi breathes, like a bullet through his heart.

“Goodbye, Shuichi,” Kokichi says, and shoves him into the light.

Shuichi’s little yelp of surprise cuts off abruptly as he falls through the door, vanishing into the glow, and all too soon, Kokichi’s alone again in a dream that suddenly seems far too vast. Alone, with the faintest taste of Shuichi’s lips still lingering on his own.

And he thinks, It was enough just to know you.

It’s a lie.

Nothing to say here except that this is my favorite scene and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

Fake sun rises over fake ocean, fake seagulls glide through fake sky while fake wind tousles fake palm fronds. Kokichi lies on his stomach in the fake grass and talks to his fake family in the fake notebook. Gives them fake names and runs through everything he remembers about them. Apologizes, over and over, wishes he could hug each of them goodbye one last time. Wonders if it would be more painful to die or to never have existed at all.

He leaves the notebook of his memories on the seat of one of the Ferris wheel cars on the fourth island, because one time he promised them they’d steal the London Eye together.

He buys a can of fake soda from the fake convenience store on the first island and sits on the fake beach watching the fake waves. Wonders when he’d hit the end of the simulation if he started swimming, or if he’d drown first.

White sand, blue sea, bluer sky. Washed out, like an amateur watercolor painting.

He opens the soda can and raises it to his mouth, but … even the thought of drinking it makes him sick to his stomach. He sets it down in the sand and flicks it over, watching the bubbly liquid run down and sink into the sand. The color’s all wrong, like blood streaked against a metal floor.

He walks the fake streets of the fifth island, passing fake skyscrapers and fake commuters and their fake conversations, until he finally stops outside the factory he’s never been able to bring himself to go into. Smells like oil, and metal and machines and he can hear the sounds and he’s immediately back in the hangar, dizzy on adrenaline and desperation and leaning heavily on Kaito so he doesn’t keel over and die then and there. Kaito says something about how maybe he should sit down for a minute, and Kokichi didn’t agree back then but he does now, goes down on all fours and dry heaves.

When his vision solidifies and he can stop gasping for breath, he sits up and presses his back against the factory wall, covering his ears and hiding his face in his knees. Tries to convince himself not to imagine Shuichi’s there with him, holding his hand again, promising everything’s going to be okay.

“I’ve got you. No one’s going to hurt you anymore,” or maybe, “Breathe with me, it’ll be over soon. You’re safe now.”

I love you.

He laughs until there’s nothing left in his lungs. He called these little daydreams obsession, before, but now they just seem sick and insane.

I wanted to indicate throughout this scene that Kokichi’s gotten substantially worse. Instead of halfheartedly interacting with the NPCs or finding something to spend time doing, he’s aimlessly wandering the islands, focused on how fake all of it is. Not even talking to his sketches of DICE can make him feel better. The suicidal ideation starts to slip in even if he doesn’t realize it— a fixation on wondering what death is like, purposefully triggering himself by walking by the factory….

The thing I want to talk about most though is the italicized I love you. I left it outside of quotation marks and dialogue tags on purpose because I wanted it to be ambiguous as to who’s saying it. If it’s Kokichi’s line, it’s sudden and almost out of place, like he couldn’t hold back from thinking it anymore. But it could be Shuichi saying it, too. Since it’s outside quotation marks, unlike the previous dream-Shuichi lines, it’s more vague, almost a whisper in Kokichi’s thoughts— like he can barely bring himself to imagine it and even feels guilty doing so, because there’s no way it could possibly be real.

Which do you think?

Eh, I don’t have an answer. When I hear it in my head, they say it at the same time.

“How did you know?” he finally croaks.

Shuichi’s breathing still sounds shaky, too. “Because you said ‘goodbye,’” he says.

Kokichi finally looks up at him in a silent question.

“You never say goodbye,” Shuichi says, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes. “It’s always….”

“‘See you later,’” Kokichi finishes for him. Despite himself, a tiny huff of astonished laughter escapes him. “I didn’t even know, not until a couple of hours ago. And you figured it all out from one word?”

Shuichi bites his lip at that. “You kissed me,” he says.

Kokichi’s stomach twists and he looks away. “I said I was sorry—”

“No.” Shuichi squeezes his hand into a fist and lets it fall to thump against Kokichi’s chest, like he’s trying to knock some sense into him. “It was so honest, and vulnerable, and… and I know how much you hate showing how you really feel.” Another tiny sob catches in his throat. “And so it felt like … like something you’d do if you weren’t going to s-see me again.”

“Shuichi….” Kokichi trails off as Shuichi muffles his cries in his hand again. He’s so breathtakingly smart. There’s no one else in the world who thinks that way, no one else who could possibly be that attentive and that clever. Not a programmer, not a team of shrinks… how can an AI manage it? How is it that Shuichi always manages to take him by surprise? How can he see straight through him when he least expects it?

Kokichi’s hand reaches up to Shuichi’s cheek. Reverently traces the path of the tears falling down it.

“I wish you were real,” he confesses in a whisper.

Kokichi’s stubborn. So, so stubborn. And he’s not used to being cared about, if the way he does everything by himself is any indication. So it makes sense to me that he’ll refuse to believe anything good can happen to him even in the face of convincing evidence. He’s pretty self-hating for someone so arrogant.

Kokichi’s weak, deep down to his core, weak for this man. Already knows he’d do anything for him, and the thought is terrifying—that one person could have that much power over him, even if he doesn’t realize it.

But what if he has realized it? Couldn’t this all be an elaborate ruse, a lie he knew Kokichi would be so desperate to believe that he wouldn’t bother questioning it?

…Shuichi’s never hurt him, though. Only that one time, when he really deserved it. Shuichi wouldn’t … betray him, even for what he thinks is Kokichi’s own good. They’re… different from each other, that way.

But still….

“I’m so scared, Shuichi.” It’s barely a whisper. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“You won’t be.” It’s so hard to be skeptical, lost in his eyes. “I’ll be right there with you, for as long as you want. I won’t let you feel like this anymore.”

Promise me, he wants to blurt out. Promise you’ll stay. Promise me you’ll never leave me, Shuichi, he wants to demand, but that’s wrong, that’s manipulative and selfish and everything he doesn’t want to be for Shuichi anymore.

Shuichi, of course, says it anyway.

“I promise, Kokichi.”

…

“Kiss me again,” he says. “Please?”

Shuichi leans in close, then pauses, his brow furrowing the way it does when he catches him in a lie.

“I’ll kiss you again in the real world,” Shuichi says. “Okay?”

Kokichi shakes his head. “Shuichi, please.” Please, I don’t think I can do this. Please, I don’t want to wake up to a lie. Please, one last kiss for me to remember in case it was all fake.

Shuichi reaches out to tilt his chin up and Kokichi closes his eyes, savoring every second, burning it into his memory.

Shuichi’s soft breath ghosts over his lips.

“Trust me,” he murmurs.

Kokichi’s eyes flutter back open, searching his face. Shifting him around on the white board in his head, seeing what categories he fits into this time. Weird, of course. Suspicious, maybe not. Trustworthy?

Trustworthy….

“I do trust you,” he realizes.

Kokichi’s still hesitant to accept all of this— Shuichi kissing him didn’t magically fix everything. He’ll still doubt all the way to the log-out point, but at least now he realizes that this simulation is only hurting him— that if things are to get better they’re going to have to change, too. He’s got a long way to go before he’s all right, but he’s not going to have to face it alone anymore.

And that’s a wrap!

Once again, I’m really proud of this story, and I feel like I grew as a writer because of it. There are a few things I would change if I wrote it again, but for all its flaws it’s still my baby and I like how it turned out.

Thanks again for all your support for “Hologram,” and thanks even more if you actually waded through all this nonsense of a director’s cut. It’s a huge confidence-boost to think that people liked what I wrote, and even wanted to hear what I had to say about it. If there’s any interest, I’d love to review some of my other fics here, or theorize or brainstorm or whatever else you’re into. (Ask me what Byakuya’s Thing is in my superhero AU, I dare you 😉)

I do have a WIP in my folder of bits and pieces currently titled “boy finally gets that kiss”, and it’s a post-Hologram scene from Shuichi’s point of view to just sorta… tie it all together, have them talk things over again… and kiss, of course. We’ll see if anything comes out of that.

Until next time!

#Rov talks #Hologram #Saiouma #Oumasai #Behind the scenes #Director's cut #Fanfic review

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kawaiikichi · 5 years

Text

From Rumor to Reality (Saiouma)

Saiouma #4 (Mistaken for a Couple) and #26 (Coffee Shop AU) from the “Two Tropes + Pairing” list for @addictedfann! I’m sorry that this took forever to post, life hit me really hard and now I’m picking myself back up and starting anew.

I hope you like it and let me know if you would like anything changed/edited :D

*Based off of this request*

Title: From Rumor to Reality

Tropes Used: #4 (Mistaken for a couple) and #26 (Coffee Shop AU)

Summary: Every time Shuichi comes to the coffee shop near the college campus, he finds himself talking with the barista a lot. Little did he know that this constant interaction with the cute, purple-haired barista would start up some rumors...

💜💜💜💜

After his last class of the day, Shuichi made his usual walk to the coffee shop on the edge of campus. It was his favorite place to go and get some good coffee and study in relative peace (as much as he loved his roommate and best friend Kaito, he could not tolerate Kaito’s boisterous behavior during his studying period).

Not to mention being able to see and talk with the cute barista there everyday, Kokichi Ouma.

They immediately hit it off from the moment they met and they chatted constantly as Kokichi made his drink for him. Shuichi had been there so many times that Kokichi had his order down pat and would get started on it before Shuichi could say a single word. In a way, they had a connection that Shuichi liked.

He arrived at the coffee shop, looking up at the rustic sign that read DICE Coffee and Sweets. He smiled, an image of the chirpy barista crossing his mind as he opened the door and stepped inside.

Immediately, he spotted Kokichi.

“Ah! Saihara-chan!” Kokichi exclaimed.

“Hey, Ouma-kun.” Shuichi greeted.

Seeing as there was no line, he went right up to the counter.

“So, how’s your day been so far?” Kokichi asked as he grabbed for a cup and began to write Shuichi’s name on it.

“It’s going fine, I guess. I need a place to study for my midterms, so I came here.” Shuichi explained.

“I see, I see. Is your roommate too noisy?”

“Yeah. Like, he’s my best friend and at all, but he’s a bit distracting.”

“Man, I hate rooming with people like that. I have to go to the library just so I could take my online classes and do my assignments because he refuses to turn off his creepy, occult-like music.”

“Ouch. That sounds rough.”

“It sure is.”

Kokichi got to work on his drink.

“You want a cream cheese danish, right?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Shuichi replied.

“Okay.” Kokichi looked at his coworker, who had green hair, matching green eyes, and multiple piercings lining his ears and one on his left eyebrow. “Hey, Amami-chan, can you grab a cream cheese danish for me?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Rantaro looked over at Shuichi. “I see your boyfriend has come back to see you, Ouma-kun.” he noted.

“B-Boyfriend?!” Shuichi stammered out.

Kokichi nearly dropped the cup of piping hot coffee from shock.

“Boyfriend?! Saihara-chan and I are not dating!” he exclaimed.

“Hm? You two aren’t dating?” Rantaro questioned.

Shuichi shook his head.

“No...what makes you think that?” he asked.

“Everyone has noticed how close you two are, so they began to start spreading rumors that you two were dating. But if you aren’t, then I guess I’ll have to tell them that the rumor is false.” Rantaro explained.

“There’s a rumor like that?!” Kokichi squawked.

“Yeah? It’s all everyone’s been talking about.” Rantaro said.

“What the heck...” Kokichi trailed off.

“Well, if it’s not true, then it must not be true. Sorry about that.” Rantaro said as he handed Shuichi a small plate with the danish on it.

“It’s fine.” Shuichi said as he took the plate from him.

At that moment, Kokichi also finished making Shuichi’s coffee.

“Here’s your coffee...” Kokichi trailed off.

“Ah...thanks...” Shuichi said as he reached to take the cup from him.

As he did, their fingers brushed against each other. Sparks flew, which made Shuichi pull his hand back after securely grabbing the cup. Kokichi must have felt it too, for he was holding his hand.

“Then...I’ll go and sit down. I have to start studying.” Shuichi said.

“Oh, yeah, you can go ahead and do that! I’ll bring you a refill soon.” Kokichi told him.

Shuichi smiled.

“Thanks.” he said as he headed over and sat down by the window.

As he set his coffee and danish down and began to take out his laptop and school materials, he couldn’t ignore the way his heart was racing and the blush that would spread across his cheeks each time he locked eyes with Kokichi.

💜💜💜💜

Two weeks passed since that awkward moment between them. During that time, Shuichi came to the conclusion that he had fallen for the barista at some point. He would wonder why he didn’t notice it before, but would tell himself that there was a reason behind everything and that there must’ve been a reason why he hadn’t realized it until now.

After completing his final midterm, Shuichi found himself back at DICE, craving the coffee that Kokichi would make for him.

Forget how awkward that day was, just act normal, he told himself.

He released a sigh before opening the door and walking in. He got in line behind a woman as he spotted Kokichi, who was busy spraying whipped cream on top of a cup of hot chocolate. His heart fluttered at the sight of him.

He looks as cute as he usually does, he thought to himself.

A blush crawled onto his cheeks as the woman went up and Rantaro proceeded to assist her.

“Next!” Kokichi called out.

Shuichi walked over, waving.

“Hey, Ouma-kun.” he greeted.

“Oh! Saihara-chan! I haven’t seen you in a while!” Kokichi exclaimed.

“Yeah...things have just been busy as of late and then there were midterms...” Shuichi trailed off.

“Ah, midterms. Yeah, that’s totally understandable.” Kokichi reached for a cup. “The usual, yes?” he asked.

“Yeah.” Shuichi replied.

“Okie dokie, then!” Kokichi chirped.

He wrote down Shuichi’s name along with something else before brewing his coffee and heading off to get his cream cheese danish. After receiving his danish and coffee, he went to sit down at his usual spot by the window.

As he took a sip, he noticed that there was more written on the cup this time around.

I wonder what Ouma-kun wrote, he wondered to himself.

He set the cup down and tilted it back a little, reading what it said.

Let’s go on a date, Saturday at 6:30pm.

0XX-XXX-XXXX <— This is my number

Shuichi’s eyes widened in surprise.

A date?! Oh my god, he just asked me out on a date, he thought to himself.

He looked over and spotted Kokichi, who immediately looked away with a blush on his cheeks.

He feels the same way I do...he likes me, too, he thought to himself.

This realization made Shuichi feel giddy.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this happy before, he thought to himself.

Finishing off his danish, he picked up his backpack along with his cup and he walked over to Kokichi.

“Saihara-chan, what’s up—“ Before Kokichi could finish his sentence, Shuichi leaned over the counter and pecked him on the cheek.

Kokichi’s cheeks flushed red as Rantaro dropped his permanent marker. Kokichi’s hand flew up to where Shuichi kissed him, watching Shuichi in stunned surprise.

“S-Saihara-chan! Why did you...?” Kokichi trailed off.

“It’s a date.” Shuichi smiled. “I’ll text you soon.” he said as he turned and left the coffee shop with a bounce in his step.

He couldn’t wait for Saturday to come.

#request #addictedfann #danganronpa v3 #saiouma #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #amami rantaro #combine two tropes and a ship prompt list #prompt 4 - mistaken for a couple #prompt 26 - coffee shop au #some fluff #dorks being dorks #love confessions #sorry for the wait!#i truly am #kawaiikichi

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natsumiheart · 5 years

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im asking this out of genuine curiosity, and not to be rude or anything- could you explain what there is to like about oumasai, to someone who really doesnt like it? i played the whole game, free times and bonus modes included, and i dont get it. most posts about reasons to ship it are aimed at people who already like the ship, so they just dont make sense to me. i hope this wasnt too rudely phrased, and thank you in advance for your time

Oh no don’t worry about it! You were completely respectful, and I’m really touched you’d come to me about this! ;; I think you don’t need to force yourself to ship something you don’t get, your feelings are very valid and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! But honestly it’s so awesome how you’re open to hearing reasons from their fans instead of painting them all in a bad light like what a lot of people in the dr fandom usually do.

I actually have a couple posts where I rant about Saiouma so to list everything this will take forever XD

I made a 100 reasons post which you can find here, it’s just me fangirling so you don’t have to read the full thing but the most important points are numbers 22 and 100.

22. In chapter 4 Kokichi referred to Shuichi with the phrase “Suki ni natta hito” “the person I fell in love with” while alone. and it’s not even a bonus scene or event, the line is 100% canon and the player will come across it no matter what.

100. Their relationship is very realistic, it is focused on how two characters try their best to understand each other, how even someone like Kokichi can come to trust in someone and want someone to trust in him, how he wants that someone to be able to understand him. Kokichi went from being interested in Shuichi to falling in love with him (literally referring to him as the person he fell in love with, using the same phrase that Maki says to Kaito later on), in a freaking killing game. he forced himself to cut their ties and died thinking the only person he cared about hated him. while Shuichi started off interested but wary of Kokichi, tried reaching out to him but failed due to Kokichi pushing him away, to getting mad from him for making Gonta a murderer and trash talking Kaito when he seemed in a really bad condition (after getting punched by Kokichi too) to hitting cold hard realization to what Kokichi has been trying to do the whole game after his death. and then appreciating his help, using the clues he left behind for him, clearing his name, calling him a friend, and grieving his death with the rest of his friends who died in the killing game. He then uses everything Kokichi gave to him and taught him, ends up understanding Kokichi and his lies, and uses the tactic he taught him where he said “sometimes you win a game by not playing it” to end danganronpa. then you’re left wondering how things could’ve been different if Shuichi didn’t already have so much on his back and tried harder to reach out to Kokichi. you start wondering what could’ve happened if Kokichi didn’t push him away, you start thinking about all these possibilities. and then salmon team comes along and wraps everything up with a ribbon. putting direct throwbacks to what happened in the killing game and the free time events, Kokichi BEING the one to reach out to Shuichi, asking him to stay by his side. Their relationship is like one huge arc that starts the moment they met to their graduation in salmon team, and it leaves you with the fact that after they graduate they will stay together and learn more about each other, just like both of them wanted but couldn’t do in the killing game. if this isn’t a beautiful realistic relationship, I don’t know what is. Honestly, everything about this ship is so very beautiful, and I will support it with my life.

About point number 22, a lot of people deny that Kokichi’s feelings even exist that’s why I ranted about it once in a post that you can find here!

I answered this ask about it being technically one sided in the main game, because the main story is just the worst outcome for their relationship in my opinion (due to Kokichi’s plan having Shuichi hate him after chapter 4, ouch) but Kokichi’s feelings are shown to be reciprocated in Salmon team.

Then there’s this ask where I just summarised all my favorite things about the ship XD

I’m not saying that everyone who supports the ship has a bunch of deep reasons, some might just ship it cause it’s cute, and some might just like the fanon pregame version of the ship only because it has a totally different dynamic. But this is just the case for me because not only have I been questioned my feelings for this ship multiple times, but I went from actively disliking it at first to having it as my otp! (Which led me to even questioning myself multiple times, why did I got from dislike to like?) As I played the game I just kept noticing things, it probably all started after Kokichi’s “I stole Saihara-chan’s heart so I don’t need to take his life anymore.” and then solidified after Kokichi saw a detective Shuichi chasing after him in the love hotel scene, and the “Man I fell in love with.” line in chapter 4, and then the entirety of Kokichi’s Salmon team route.

The main story had such a tragic outcome for their relationship, but in another reality where Kokichi didn’t have to make everyone hate him including Shuichi, where he didn’t have to die being hated by everyone, and where Shuichi didn’t have to discover his true intentions after Kokichi was dead and consider him a friend again after he was gone. They really could have the wholesomest relationship as friends or more! And many amazing well-written fanfictions I read really shows it ;;

They just complete each other, at least that’s just how I see it XD I love them so much to the point I’ve been shipping them for two years now and it’s still going strong, amazing writing like this really hooks me, they have so much potential that you can’t stop thinking about all the what if scenarios. To me I love their relationship even if it was just platonic, I just love seeing them interact.

Still I totally understand that not everyone will see their relationship the same way as I do! These two are just two characters that I’ve analysed to death and liked their dynamic. And I think it’s totally alright to ship them with other characters (Shuichi is so shippable istg), but when I see people attacking their fans and calling their ship one sided or unhealthy it seriously ruins my day considering all that has happened to me before, and how it’s blatantly not true. It’s not true to the point I ranted multiple times about it in those essays-

But yea this on top of all those essays pretty much summarises why I ended up shipping them, they have this dynamic where they can make each other develop as a person, and at the same understand each other’s problems and the anxiety of how they look like in other people’s eyes. They have so much angst and the same time so much fluff, and I think many people who are into the yin yang *together we balance each other* dynamic will really have fun shipping them! Hope this somehow showed what I saw in them!

#asks #oumasai #saiouma #hope all the links work!#Why am i so bad at explaining to the point i just ramble-#i had so much fun answering this hhh #i just have fun ranting about them which is why ive done it so many times before to friends 😂#thank you for your ask ;w;

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