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nicromancytarot · 7 months

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ALL ABOUT YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE 18+ themes, lots of information!!

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 15-20 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

(This took me 3 days lmao, please like, follow and reblog)

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides what you need to know about your future spouse, pick a pile to find out!!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

PILE 1 (TW sexual abuse)

“I need to take time for myself” “let’s take this to the next level” “i don’t want anyone else”

Their appearance

I’m seeing lighter hair, light brown to a blonde-white, I’m seeing they may have muscles, or just a nicely toned body. It also looks like their back may be very prominent to their appearance, they may work out extra to achieve really nice back muscles. They could honestly have a large top half and skinny bottom half (Miguel O’Hara for example.) I’m seeing someone quite tall, they may have an interesting shaped head, like not in a bad way, it might just appear more prominently on them. For a guy, long third leg.. (They allowed me to say this one.) Possible big ears, or maybe even wears earrings or something to highlight them. The right side of their face is the best for them lmao, they might pose showing their right side for pictures.

About them

They‘ve have been through some hardships in their life, they’ve been fucked over pretty bad in the past, and while they don’t like to dwell on it, I wanted to bring it up. It’s seeming like they may have gone through sexual assault, I’m seeing that they used to appear quite sexualised in the past, something they did themself, however, someone close to them felt valid enough to abuse their power and cause harm to your partner through their self-expression. This hurt your partner a lot, they’re still healing, I’m heading “please take your time with me” when it comes to sex, they have some extreme vulnerability about it, they need you to understand that; they’re begging me not to sexualise them, and they’re asking you nicely to do the same, give them the respect that someone thought was ok to steal from them.

Due to this mass betrayal, they appear very closed off to new love, they have a lot of people that want them, and fawn over them, but this situation has completely made them turn a blind eye to those who see them. It will take you a while to crack this person open, however once you do, it will be more than worth it.

They will be very slow to start this connection with you, but once they are sure that you can be trusted, and they feel safe around you, they will set up camp by your side, and they don’t plan on leaving.

Their career

They’re very financially successful, but I see that this took them a while, I think they began building up financial abundance due to wanting their family to be there for them, and take notice in their achievements.

In work I think they may be underestimated, appearing as the lioness, I can only be reminded of the over glamorisation of lions, and the societal irrelevancy of lionesses, even though they do more for the lion population than the lion, as a collective do for themselves. Unfortunately this being said, I see they are idolised for their body, rather than their talents (I’m getting Sidney Sweeney, and Vinnie Hacker for this, both talented people, who are only seen as pieces of meat, or some type of chew toy.) Your person is really disrespected and it’s making me so mad, man. They’re trying their hardest to break out of the stereotype, however I feel as though there are colleges of theirs that constantly sexualise them, making them feel very uncomfortable. Again, I’m getting the same message as before, they are yearning for someone to treat them like a human being, and not just a vessel of sex organs.

Their family

Mentioned prior, they do not have the best relationship with their family, I think there’s some deep-rooted and ínstense trauma from possible childhood, I see they were the type of child to get all perfect grades to try and impress, and make their parents proud, however I don’t think it worked. Their parents seem very self focused and absorbed in their own life, and business.

They assumed that becoming even more successful, making a name for themself, earning masses of money would make their family proud, but it never worked.

They may have cut their family out of their life, or they are considering it. If they don’t decide to cut their family off, it most likely comes from hope and fear, they are scared that their family won’t notice all their biggest achievements if they cut them out, and they hope that eventually they will be able to achieve something big enough so their family is proud of them. They blame themself a lot for “not being enough” and not making them proud.

How they are in bed

I was not able to get much for this, but I do see that they need to really be able to trust you fully before getting into bed with you, they need a lot of time and reassurance, they really need you to understand their fears. The first time you guys have sex, you may unintentionally bring up some hidden wounds, they’re telling me to tell you not to worry, they’ll look into your eyes and it’ll be gone. They may need eye contact the first time, they need that constant reminder that it’s you, and that you won’t hurt them.

They gave me a few explicit messages, so for that I got

“Cum on your face”

“Make a sex tape” (I feel like they would burn this onto a hard drive and keep it in a place only they know about, only showing you if you asked them to.)

“Food play”

When I got these messages, I had a fan on so I needed to put the papers under something so they didn’t fly away, I unknowingly put them under the chariot card, so I’m really getting again that you will need to work for this. The chariot was also the only sexual illustration I got.

Another thing is that they don’t want you telling your friends about your guys sex lives, they don’t want more people to sexualise them.

They also may finish very fast the first time, this could be out of sensation since I don’t think they would’ve had sex for a very long time by the time you guys meet and start dating.

Their love language

Acts of service, they enjoy doing things for the people that they care about, unfortunately it seems this has stemmed from their neglecting childhood, they feel as though they must do something for someone to feel loved. They do not quite understand that love is not a give to receive, you may have to be the one to teach them this. Your future spouse only believe people will love them if they do something for that person in return.

Quality time, they like to be with the people they care about, i’m seeing two people sat in silence on some arm chairs, one person is resting their head on their arm while scrolling aimlessly on their phone, meanwhile the other is reading a book, holding it with one hand as the other plays with the hand belonging to their counterpart, their fingers tracing the skin of their lover’s hand gently, fingers only just intertwining.

Their shadows

Your future spouse does not see their own self worth, they do not value themself as a person, or even a creator, whatever they do in life, they are a very creative and diverse person, yet they don’t feel that way. It’s as if they suffer from imposter syndrome, they never feel worthy of their achievements, because no one ever made them feel as though their success mattered.

They can be very closed off with their feelings, they become resentful towards their emotions and just wish they could rip the feelings from their body. They may say things they don’t mean in the moment, mostly because they don’t feel worthy of your love, but as soon as they realise what they have done, they will bring you to their chest and hug you tightly.

This reaction will never escalate further than a shout of anger.

I sense they might refuse therapy, you may have a lot of arguments about this, they try to tell themself that they do not need therapy, but this is mainly because they fear they will be laughed at, for coming to this person with trauma that even they struggle to understand, even after having gone through it. I would encourage you to try your best to get them to go to therapy, maybe even both of you together so you can get to know each other on a more intimate level.

Please be gentle with them my pile 1, they are truly a blessing of a soul.

PILE 2

“I’m not ready” “you’re too good for me” “let’s take this to the next level” (you may have been attracted to pile 1, if so maybe go check it out.)

Their appearance

Lighter hair, for a select few of you, it’s black. I think they might have longer hair, and like to wear it up, or they enjoy covering their head with a hat or other accessories. I’m getting medium height, maybe even shorter than you, or possibly only a little taller than you. I think they enjoy dressing more provocative, perhaps having shirt buttons undone, or just not wearing a shirt at all, they really like their body, and they know they have a good one. If they have abs, I would say they are there but quite faint, not toned, just enough to show. Their hair could be curly, or it’s just the first thing you notice when you meet them. I’m getting pirate vibes, they might dress up more like a pirate honestly, buttoned down blouses, a bandana on their head, their hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. The area of their nose, lips, philtrum, and chin is very prominent, a main focal point on their face. Their eyes make them look tired and drunk, the classic sleepy eyes. They may wear a lot of jewellery, specifically gold. Their skin seems more into the tanner tones for the dark haired individuals, they may be part of the latino/a community. For the people with lighter hair, I see they could be based around Europe.

About them

I hate fuelling delusions like this, but multiple cards are pointing to this person being an ex, it seems like they had your heart at one point and came back for more, after having messed up the first time. They do seem very remorseful for their previous mistakes, they want you to know that they were naive and selfish, they didn’t know how to treasure something as important, and valuable as your love, however they want you to know that they are ready now. I see they could have cheated on you in the past, left you for another person, or just been toxic with you, and just treated you badly. Please take in mind that I do not want you to get back with any super shitty ex, you have free will so don’t do that, however I do think this person has changed for the better. With the chariot, and hanged man, I’m seeing they worked on themself to be able to be good for you, it may have taken them a few years.

For those of you who’s future spouse is not an ex, I would say that the first time you guys met, there was a sense of competition and it turned you completely off from them, or they just came across rude, and arrogant while trying to impress you, and you just weren’t feeling it. They’re coming back around to show you how serious they actually are about making this relationship with you work. They will need some time, one sided enemies to lovers lmao.

Their career

I feel as though they have a good amount of material wealth, they seem to have everything they could desire, they could be a little bit of a workaholic, which possibly can cause some drama between you, you will need to remind them of how important spending time together is, they will listen, they are always willing to compromise with you.

Their job is one filled with a lot of competition, I’m honestly getting technology, they could work with technology, they could be under a tech company position, or maybe they even work from home doing their own thing on their computer.

They can appear secretive when it comes to their job, they’re not trying to keep it a secret, or hidden from you, they simply just don’t really think to talk about it that much. Lowkey, they could be a moderator for some type of famous streamer, (lmao??) or they could work in a position where they help people with managing publicity, like an agent or something.

This job does seem interesting, but it does come across a little like they do it more so for the money, than for an actual enjoyment that they find. Some of them do enjoy their job, but I don’t think they would stick with it, if it didn’t offer them the money and exposure that it does.

Their family

I honestly feel like it was their family’s influence that got them to start working on themself, I get the sense that their mother was possibly the one to force them into therapy, she may have even sat through his first session lol.

I think he’s mainly closest to the woman in his family, I’m getting a close friendship with their 1-2 sisters, possibly older, rather than younger. Im getting that they see them a little puppy that needs training, if you guys get into an argument, and they go to their sisters, the oldest one would be quick to correct your future spouse on their mistakes, and convince them to talk to you again and apologise for whatever they did.

Their family love you, if it’s a second chance scenario, they are so happy that you guys get another chance at loving each other, they truly want you to stay part of their family.

I’m seeing a young girl, possibly around the age of 5-6, you will be very close to her, I’m feeling it’s a niece or cousin, who is constantly around when you visit the rest of the family.

How they are in bed

They honestly appear quite vanilla, all bark no bite to be honest, they will say the flirtiest things to you, and they appear quite sexual, but once you get into the bedroom, they become all shy and reserved, there is a potential for you to bring them out of their shell however.

I’m seeing that sex for them is more-so about their own pleasure, they can seem a bit selfish during sex because of this, they may also see it as a way to compete with others, I’m hearing “I have them in a way that no one else ever will,” they may deal with a little bit of jealousy when it comes to your relationship, they are you as a very desired person, so they worry that someone will steal you away from them, being intimate with you is like proof to them that you are there’s and no one else could have you in such a compromising position.

They may finish really fast, I’m seeing someone who is struggling to keep their attraction in, the way your eyes penetrate into theirs will have them a stuttering mess, unexpectedly pushing them to their climax, though I feel like you will be nowhere near your own. You may need to help them with how to pleasure you, so you also reach your destination!

They could be a virgin, they don’t seem very experienced, they may have even waited for marriage, so this could be the night of your wedding.

They’re on top, it makes them feel more masculine and in charge of the situation, I also think they need to be able to pick their own pace to make sure they don’t overwhelm themself the first time.

They will be bursting with anticipation every time you initiate something with them.

They may have a desire to watch you touch yourself, they know about the important places of pleasure for people of your gender, however they don’t know exactly how to treat those places, so they may ask you to touch yourself to show them, this could lead to an intense session of mutual masterbation, for the select few of you, this will come before your wedding, they’ll ask you about how they should pleasure you on your wedding night, and you will show them, they will get into the mood as well and join you in the bed, this will almost make them cave in and take you there and then.

“Pull my hair”

“You make me so hard/wet”

“Let me taste”

Their open to whatever you’re into, just give them time to adjust to the new sensations of sex first, before you spring any random kinks onto them.

Their love language

Physical touch, they enjoy being around you and putting their hands on you at any chance they get, they like to hold your hand, to wrap their arms around your waist, they just like how you feel under their touch, if they feel like they’re working too much, they will invite you to sit with them, possibly on their lap so they can have you with them.

They like their bare skin to touch yours, I don’t think they sleep with much on, maybe shirtless with a pair of underwear, they will press their front of your back, making sure their bare chest hits your bare back, and back of shoulders.

Gift giving, they like to buy you things, I think it’s in a way of trying to make up for how they treated you in the past, they use their money to prove to you how serious they are about you and their relationship with you, they’re very possessive of their material wealth, so sharing it with you is something massive, and unexpected. If you see something in the store window, they’ll notice you even as much as glanced at it, and they will make sure it belongs to you in no time.

Their shadows

Their can appear a little selfish at times, I think they’ve had to protect and defend themself all their life, so now they feel as though shutting people out and not letting them in is the best answer to cure and keep away any upcoming insecurities.

Your future spouse needs to lose things to understand how much they actually mean to them, they don’t appreciate things enough until it’s taking away from them, luckily for them, they tend to work hard enough to manage to get this back, ensuring that it will never be taken away again.

Their downplay their transformations, they don’t exaggerate, but honestly the complete opposite, they feel as though their past and their future and two completely different identities, they need constant reminders that their success is still their success, no matter how long ago it was.

PILE 3

“I don’t want anyone else” “do you feel the same?” “you’re the only one I want in my life” (again, you could’ve also been attracted to pile 1, I wouldn’t recommend going back up however, I think it may have been the warning that caught your eye rather than the pile itself!)

Their appearance

I’m getting chestnut brown, to black hair, for a woman, it’s casts down her back, quite long. For a man, It’s around medium length, maybe just above their shoulders. Their back is very prominent in this pile, I feel like they have nicely defined back muscles, however I do not think they are an incredibly muscular person. They could honestly dress more punk/emo, wearing black leather jackets which are decorated, and bedazzled with silver spikes, I do see a possibility for a more alternative style for men, feminine outifts for women, types of styles that accentuates their hips and bust.

They might like going outside a lot, they’d be the type to suggest a camping trip, so they wear clothes that are suitable, and durable for being outside for extended periods of time. Big black boots is another thing I’m getting, their hair could also be spiked up for a select few of you. (I’m honestly picking up Johnnie Gilbert similarities for this pile, maybe Johnnie’s future wife is watching, and they just don’t know, that’s crazy.)

About them

They know better than to overwork themself, they may be the type that needs to mentally recharge after being around people for too long, they also seem to take in a lot of energy when around people, they’re like a little portable charger, however this does mean that they get burnt out very quickly. Luckily, they are not one to ignore the signals of their body and mind, so if they need to rest and be alone for a little, they will do that, this can however make them appear a tad aloof.

I don’t think they’re the best at expressing their emotions, they keep them hidden for a reason, I believe out of fear of judgment, or getting hurt again. I’m seeing someone who may have been cheated on by an ex partner, I don’t imagine they got closure on whatever this situation was, if it wasn’t cheating, it was some type of intense betrayal. They may appear a bit condescending at times, this is their way of trying to push you away before you find out about their feelings, they weirdly think you will leave them or condemn them for showing any natural, human emotion.

Their hardworking in all areas of their life, mainly self improvement, they want to become the best version of themself, so their partner can be comfortable with them. I do see that they will have a dramatic change of circumstance, or just who they are as a person, around the time that they meet you, which would be done for you, or for some of you, they will improve themself right before you guys meet, this change in their life will bring you to them.

Their career

They have a job where their workload and work time is flexible, they have the ability to not work one day, and pick up the work the next day if they so please. This is good because it means they will be making sure they always have time for you, to make you feel appreciated.

Their job is focused around nurturing responsibility, they are a leader of their area, but not a leader overall, they may have some type of job where they have to be a role model for people of a younger age, mild fame or influencing is showing strongly (bro which one of you are Johnnie’s wife, this is getting too specific.)

The job brings in a lot of material abundance, I don’t see they have to worry about too much, other than understanding that their work can be overwhelming, and that they need to pace themself, allowing themself to take breaks is super important with this pile.

It’s a job that offers them long term stability, and more money with the higher their position gets, if this person is mildly famous, or some type of influencer, the more fame and fans they gain, the more money they will be raking in, however they do need to remember where their loyalties lie, and always make sure to appreciate the fandom that gave them what they have now.

Their family

Their family are so different from them lmao, like polar opposites, I’m seeing the sweetest mother who always makes baked goods, sometimes they can appear a little interesting, but taste good nonetheless. Their father calls them by a nickname which your future spouse hates, their father is really sweet, I’m getting someone a little more laidback, who would rub your partners hair to mess it up for absolutely no reason.

You will feel very welcome into this family, they do not discriminate since their son/daughter/child has gone through some intense stuff in their life, and they are just thankful that you are able to bring them security, and safety, your person could’ve struggled badly with mental health, and it may have worried their family, so their parents are super happy that you’re able to keep them happy. However, please remember that someone’s mental health is not your responsibility solely.

How they are in bed

I don’t think they would’ve had sex for a while before you guys got together, I think they may have done some type of sexual cleanse, they were possibly a fuck boy/girl in the past, so they quit it to help themself improve and be the best version of themself.

They may need a little while to really get ready to be intimate with you, it might come as a conversation that the two of you share, explaining that you would like to have sex with them, and them setting a date for it so nothing can go wrong. I see them prepping by shaving their entire body lmao, they’re going all out, if it’s a man, they’re going to get so many cuts in all the wrong places, and they will definitely complain about it to you. They do expect you to be as prepared as they are, so get yourself ready, find yourself a nice, new perfume and get to it.

I do not think they will have sex with you outside of the relationship, I feel as though they have so many sexual requests from people, it makes them feel only valuable for their body, they don’t want to be seen as just a warm body that you get to lay under, the first time you are intimate with them. You have to prove yourself before sex, and even then, it may take a while. I’m getting around eight to ten months after dating, they really don’t want to be fooled and used for their body, especially after their sexual cleanse.

They like to be on top, they may honestly end up sweating and shivering at the end of it, like that one scene from Titanic when Jack is shaking in the carriage while laying on top of Rose with a blanket.

The sex will get progressively more rough and interesting over time, but the first time is just pure love making.

“Look into my eyes”

“Fuck you silly”

“Tie you up”

I’m getting that they will need aftercare more than you will, while both of you will be giving it to each other, they are a lot more in need of it, I feel like you would be fine to just go into the kitchen and make yourself something to eat, meanwhile they desire to be in your arms for the next couple of hours.

Their love language

Physical touch, they need to be at least holding your hand at all times, they would lowkey like to wear a lipstick stain you created on their cheek or jaw, they like people to know that you are theirs, and they are yours. They may also really like when you give them hickeys, they will absolutely allow those to be on show for everyone to see, they are too proud to hide them. They like to hold your stomach? Perhaps it’s when you sleep, they like to rest their hand on your stomach, or perhaps they want to get you pregnant, they may be very serious about having kids sometime in the future.

Words of affirmation, they really appreciate when you tell them how good they look, or how the outfit they’re wearing is amazing on their body. They specifically enjoy your compliments, you have a way with explaining things, that makes it seem so much more authentic and honest, they trust your judgment a lot. I do see they have a tendency to feel very insecure, and although so many people tell them how beautiful they are, your future spouse struggles to believe them, thinking it’s some kind of sick joke, but they know you would never joke or make fun of them about that. You’ll be very surprised to find out about their insecurities, you may even think they’re playing with you the first time they mention it, this could make them feel invalidated, so be careful how you tackle this!

Their shadows

They constantly ignore their problems, they have an “out of sight, out of mind” way of thinking, which is just barbaric because it means they don’t sort through their issues and instead push them out of the way. You may need to help them with healing from some past trauma, and realising that they are allowed to feel hurt and anger from those past situations, as they were not at all ideal.

Your future spouse is quick to push people away when they feel as though they’ve said too much, and opened up more than they desired to, due to this, there may be a few times when you feel helpless, and they seem helpless, this is something you can work through together.

They get very defensive, very quickly, if you say something that unintentionally triggers them, they will shut off, going into some type of hermit mode until they feel ready to talk about whatever it is that bothered them.

#pick a card #tarot #tarot reading #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #free tarot #tarot witch #daily tarot #pick a pile #tarot cards

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csuitebitches · 1 year

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Brainwash yourself with good habits. You need to do it the way you would train a dog - fetch the stick and get a treat.

I love listening to music but I also wanted to start listening to podcasts. I have to go to work everyday, and I prefer to drive myself to work and back.

I know that if I make myself listen to podcasts both drives, the habit will last not more than 3 days.

But if I make myself listen to a podcast on the way to work; and listen to my favourite music on the way back home to de-stress and relax; now that’s a healthy compromise. And it works for the long term.

The same goes with social media. I deleted all social media from my phone. I don’t have Facebook, Instagram, or even tumblr on my phone. The YouTube account that I keep on my phone has been very consciously kept; I only allow the algorithm to show me educational stuff like podcasts, history videos, news, psychology, stuff like that. Absolutely no entertainment. I keep all my social media (and my “fun” YouTube account which is basically Korean mukbangs and all sorts of useless beauty hauls that I honestly love to watch) on another device - my iPad, which I use for work. I check out what’s happening on tumblr or YouTube or Pinterest when it’s my lunch break or a coffee break. That’s another healthy compromise that works for me.

Going cold turkey with anything - stopping something addictive like smoking or drinking or suddenly starting a plethora of new habits- doesn’t work. You’ve restricted your mind and body so much that you keep remember the good old days where you drank like a whale and sat on the couch watching rubbish and you glamorise, romanticise and reminisce those times. Now you’re in that dangerous red zone where you know that if you see that bottle or the packet of chips, your body is going to reach for it before your mind can intervene.

Aim for long-term, sustainable albeit small habits, rather than complex overnight habits.

#c suite #powerful woman #strong women #ceo aesthetic #personal growth #that girl #productivity #getting your life together #balance #habits #sustainable #how to be disciplined #discipline #inconsistency #Social media #social media detox

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ktficworld · 5 months

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Behind The Red Curtains

Pairing: soft dark! Steve Rogers x actress! reader

Summary: You come to know that your success might not be solely because of your talent.

Warnings: 18+, dub-con, forced relationship, bondage, size kink, degradation + praise kink, choking, oral(f receiving ), unprotected sex( it's fiction, your life's not), dirty talk, explicit language, explicit sexual content.

(Let me know if I forgot something)

Prompt: Oral sex, overstimulation, praise, Mob au, Blackmail + Cum play + “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? I think you even enjoyed it.”

A/N: So, this is my entry for the cum together extravaganza hosted by @labella420 and @stargazingfangirl18

I wanted to write this for a long time after the provocation by @biteofcherry 👀. I hope you all enjoy and this is my first time writing smut so, be gentle.

Divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Main masterlist

Steve Rogers masterlist

“Johnny Storm was seen with the new sensation in the modelling industry yesterday night. Rumor has it-”

You pressed the switch-off button with more force than needed as the squeaky voice of the anchor finally died down. Throwing the remote across the bed, you groaned in agitation.

You were dating Johnny Storm. Everything was going well, the meeting was story worthy, he was handsome, charming and had some good qualities you were looking for. This was the first relationship you got into since entering the film industry. Because you may be a hopeless romantic, but you were also choosy.

You didn’t know what happened in the process that just torpedoed your budding relationship. One day you were walking out of a cafe hand-in-hand and the next day, he was fucking some modelling sensation. Maybe you got lost in translation.

Or maybe he was just a fucking asshole. No matter what happened it showed you his true colors. That or instead of coming to you to talk out his issues, he went around, fucking and ghosted you.

Oh, but that was not the problem. The real problem was that you were shooting a movie with him. A romantic movie, with sex scenes. And you have no idea how you would be able to show any affection or chemistry on the screen without being awkward as fuck. This would be the best test of your acting skills for sure.

“Why do you look like you regret being born?” your friend and manager, Wanda asked as she entered your room.

You glanced at her and rolled your eyes. She was trying to lighten your melancholic mood but, it was of no use. “You know damn well why.”

She sighed. “I know, but you’re a great actress. You could easily pull off a serial killer then a rom-com is nothing for you. Don’t get worked up about it. Just imagine your celebrity crush instead.”

You laughed at that. You worked with people whom the masses considered celebrity and if you had a crush, you’d simply ask them out. So, you’re stuck in that department.

“I appreciate your support and I’ll get over this. Just give me some time. Is that why you came here?”

Wanda shook her head with a smile. “No, actually the PR guy told me to tell you to go to partage restaurant. Someone wants to meet you.”

You frowned. “You know if I started giving time to ‘someones’ then I won’t even be able to breathe. I need the specifics.”

“He didn’t tell me. Said the person didn’t want to be known till you meet them. But he said you need to go or they’ll be pissed and it could pose a problem to your career.”

Some rich asshole again. You pinched your nose in frustration. People really glamorised a celeb’s life but if they knew that you all have to play rich people’s puppets, they wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about it.

“Fine, I’ll go. What time and day?”

“8 p.m Sunday.”

“Great. Now get lost, I need my beauty sleep.”

Your heels clicked on the floor as you stepped inside the restaurant to utter silence.

The usually bustling restaurant was deserted. There was no violin swimming in the air, mingling with the chatter of the expensive people, the polished tables had no spilled drinks and the fine plates had no leftovers. The lobby had no sight of a reception and all the staff had evaporated out of existence. You were half doubting yourself that maybe you arrived at the wrong time or date. Maybe the restaurant was closed.

But all of them vanished when a prim and proper lady approached you. You had never seen her before but you didn’t care to ask if she was new.

“Good evening, ma’am, you may go to the VIP area upstairs. Sir is waiting for you there.” She said in a professional voice.

“Yeah, sure. But can I ask why the restaurant is empty?”

“He booked the entire restaurant.” She said like it was the most normal thing in the world. It was not like this place costed more than the top-paying actors in the Hollywood.

You thanked the woman with a polite smile you went upstairs to get to the VIP section.

The he made you shudder from inside. Another sleazy old man who thought that you would open your legs for him just because he was rich was awaiting you and judging by the stunt he pulled. You’d have to be more tactful.

Reaching the shiny golden doors with a lion emblem, separating the demi-gods from the gods, you knocked on the door of the VIP room.

“Come in.” A thick and deep voice called out, making you frown. How come an old man has such a great voice?

Oh, but how wrong you were. Because, as soon as you opened the door, in front of you, sat a man who was far from aged. He was pure muscles. His rings sparkled in the chandelier lights. Draped in the finest black suit with his blonde hair combed back, sat none other than Steve Rogers, the mafia lord of New York. The one who you have been trying to avoid your entire career. Who posed as a successful businessman but everyone was aware of how he earned his dollars. Just, they were too afraid to acknowledge it.

You couldn’t move an inch, frozen from fear and surprise. You had only met him once, during the premiere of your debut film and people had acted like he wasn’t someone who could wipe them off from the face of the earth without even blinking an eye. That night, his eyes were glued to you like Hades's gaze on Persephone. So intense and consuming that you never wanted to see him again.

And now, here you were.

“Sit down, darling.” He husked out, the sound of alcohol filling his glass reverberating through the walls.

Breaking out of your trance with a gulp. You pulled out the chair and sat down across from him while your heart was in your throat. “Good evening, Mr. Rogers. What brings me the pleasure of your company.’ You managed to get out without your voice cracking.

He smirked and leaned back on his chair. “It’s your beauty, your talent and your creativity that brings you here, sweetheart. I’m a big fan of art and beautiful things, you are both of them.”

“Thank you…” You drawl out, expecting him to continue.

“I liked you the moment I saw you. In your pink dress, you looked so innocent, so shy. Overwhelmed by the media attention. I knew you would do something big so I gave you the freedom to shine and shine you did. However, it looks like your freedom has got to your head.” The last sentence was said with a lower voice and an ominous smile.

Your hands became sweaty as they clamped down on the armrest. “I’m not getting what you are trying to say.” You whispered out.

His chuckle only made your heartbeat faster as he leaned forward and his gaze bore into your soul. “Let me rephrase, I claimed you the moment I saw you. But I knew you had potential so I let you go but your little dance with Johnny Storm made me realise it was time you became mine.”

“What-what did you do?” You choked out but you weren’t sure if you wanted to know the answer.

You yelped as he yanked your chair closer towards him till your knees were touching. Your chest moved rapidly as he leaned closer, his hands covering yours on the armrest.

“Awww, don’t play stupid, honey. Johnny, he’s a himbo and you are mine,” He said as his left hand moved to caress your cheek as you flinched away from his touch. “So, I pulled some strings, fed some mouths with dollars and your cute little on-set romance came to an end.” Your eyes widened in horror as he was the one that ended your relationship with Johnny.

He gripped your face in his big hand and turned your head so that his eyes burned through yours. “Trust me, honey, I was generous with him. I could have him disappear and no one would have given a shit.”

“No.” You whispered, wrenching his hands away. You suddenly stood up from your chair, effectively surprising him.

“No?”

“That is not happening. I don’t want to be with you, I’m sorry.” You stumbled back to the door but before you could touch the doorknob, you were whirled around and pushed against it.

“When did I tell you, you could say no?” Steve growled his hand wrapping around your throat. “If you think you can reject me then you are sorely mistaken, darling. Don’t forget that the production house you work with the most is mine.”

You gasped. How could it be his? It was of Tony Stark, you scorched the earth and back and found no such connection.��

Steve noticed your reaction and tsked.“You didn’t know? Don’t worry, you are not stupid sweetheart. The public doesn’t know that Stark is nothing but my pawn.” His other hand snaked around to squeeze your ass through your jeans and you screwed your eyes shut as his touch sent tingles through your body and your breaths became shorter.

He tugged you closer to him with your neck, his breath fanning over your skin. “Now, do you still want to be stubborn?”

Now, you were no dumbo. If Steve can jeopardize your relations with his production then he can also ruin your entire career. Mob involvement in the film industry is an unsaid rule. However, you didn’t know their claws were so deep and sharp.

“And what if I leave? Leave this industry?” What could be more precious than your pride?

He gave you a lopsided grin. “Then you’ll just be the wife of Steve Rogers who was an actress. Remember princess, I’ll never leave you alone. If I held onto you for three years what makes you think I’ll not find you and drag you to my hell?”

Tears threatened your waterline as you murmured. “You are really forcing me?” What a stupid question to be asking a mobster.

He let out a throaty chuckle and moved his hand from your neck to his pant pocket however he was still invading your private space as his lips were inches away from your lips. “I’m giving you options: either come willingly or I’ll force you. Your choice, darling.”

He fished out a silver card from his pocket, tracing the sharp and cold edges of it on your face, meandering down your neck and stopping only when it reached the valley of your breast. You gasped harshly when he slid the card inside your bra, the chilled hard paper resting against your warm skin.

“My number, call me when you make a decision. You have one week.” He whispered against your lips before sealing the unspoken vow with a kiss.

With that he slipped away from your body and took his seat again like dark clouds gilding away from the moon before shortly, engulfing it once again. He resumed sipping from his glass like nothing serious happened and said nonchalantly. “You can go now.”

You ran to your car like you were burned. Which you were, your soul was burning. Burning from the choices you were given. Which was essentially choosing which cage you preferred better, golden or grey.

“Did you like the dinner?” Steve asked in his deep voice as he sat across from you at the dining table.

Blinking your eyes away from the full moon that shone outside the dining room window, you glanced at Steve and nodded. “Yes, I liked it.”

You did come to him willingly in the end, after all, what choice did you have? The moment you admitted your defeat and called Steve flashed in front of your eyes. His smug and triumphant words ringing in your ears.

“Nice choice, princess.”

“You seem to like the moon a lot,” Steve observed as his piercing gaze never left you, noting your every move and reaction.

You looked down at your hands, clasped in front of you. His presence still sent chills of fear down your spine. His imposing figure and intense gaze made your heart race. Not to mention the way his eyes sparkled with desire and lust whenever they laid upon you.

“Yes, the night is beautiful.” You replied softly.

“Do you want to go upstairs? In the balcony for a better view? I also have a very pretty garden.” Steve offered and you refrained from frowning.

From the moment you accepted his advances, Steve has been acting like the perfect lover. Sending flowers, expensive gifts, wanting to have nice and deep conversations and supporting you in your work. But still, you couldn’t decipher if he was actually being nice or plain manipulative.

However, you had grown tired, sitting and chatting in the room, the walls suffocating you. “I would like that.”

Steve grinned and stood up from his chair, taking a few long strides he reached you and offered you his hand. “Let’s go.”

You gave him a tight-lipped smile, slipping your hand in his, you got up. You sucked a sharp breath when his hand tightened around your smaller one and his eyes grew darker. You ignored the building tension as he led you upstairs, to the balcony.

His mansion was spectacular, painted beige with marble murals. It resembled old French castles with intricate paintings from Greek mythology on walls to railing carved with various plant and flower motifs.

When he said he enjoyed beauty, he wasn’t bluffing.

Stepping on the top floor, there was a lounge area with a fireplace on the right and a couch on the left. In front was the glass door leading to the balcony. Steve opened the door and you had to hold back your gasp as the view was absolutely breathtaking.

It had the same marble railing as before and also had a sitting space for two people with two chairs and one glass table, perfect for a cosy morning or evening. The balcony ran along the entire top floor, connected with all the rooms.

However, the main highlight was the enormous garden that stood before your eyes. Tall trees were perched vertically of all types, some bearing fruits, some flowers and some none. Speaking of flowers, bright, colourful flowers adorned the garden like jewels. Rose, jasmine, sunflower, etc scattered all over with moonlight pouring on them.

It was straight out of a princess movie and you could spend your entire life wandering inside it, reading books under the tree shade.

“It’s gorgeous.” You whispered to Steve as you stepped forward, leaning on the railing.

“I know, my mother made it. She wanted me to keep the garden big and flourishing. So, I put everything I could to keep it perfect.” Steve revealed and moved behind you, his body pressing against yours.

You were so engrossed in gazing at the garden that you missed his hand coming to cover yours and he laid a soft kiss on your cheek.

“What are you doing?” You questioned as you tried to step away from his grip but he had you trapped.

“Enjoying my view,” He said as he gripped your hips and pressed them against him, his semi-hard cock pressing against your ass. “See what you do to me?”

His lips trailed down, kissing and sucking on your neck. His left hand travelled from your hips to your breast, he squeezed the underside of your tities while grinding his erection against your bottom. Your breathing was getting heavy as he continued to massage your boobs and sucked on your neck, collarbone and shoulder.

You had to refrain from biting your lips. His strong body and demanding moves were making you unwillingly wet. But he forced you into a relationship you didn’t want, you didn’t want this, right?

“I don’t want to do it.” You whispered despite wanting nothing but his hands under your scarlet dress.

“No?” He chuckled. “Let’s check, shall we?” He whispered seductively in your ear.

Your eyes widened as you thrashed in his grip but he stopped all your attempts to deny the truth with a hand around your neck and a squeeze that made you go still. His other hand glided under your dress and found your panties damp.

“Your pussy proved you wrong, princess.” He said with a smug laugh. He sucked at your pulse point as his fingers moved your lace panties aside and caressed your folds. The suddenness made you let out a choked moan as your hold tightened on the railing.

His words embarrassed you but you couldn’t deny that his touch was making your body betray you. He played your body like an instrument.

His fingers ran along your petals, spreading your arousal and brushing your clit, his index finger teasing your entrance when he abruptly stopped.

You blinked, gasping and panting. You were about to glance at him in confusion when he bent you over, your head resting against the marble railing as he went down on his knees, bunching up your dress around your waist. He ripped off your panties, the sound heating your cheeks with humiliation.

“You deserve to be punished.” He said through gritted teeth as he slapped your clit, making you jerk at the delicious sting as he spread your legs wider for him so your pussy was on full display. Wet and ready.

“Spank your ass till it’s burning for going out with that pathetic excuse of a man Johnny or have Bucky watch you as I fuck you senseless. He’s also a fan after all." He spread your labia and sucked on your clit, making you moan out loud as your stomach flipped.

“But I can’t, because this pussy is too tempting of a distraction.” He lamented as his lips went down to your pussy and his tongue teased your cunt with slow yet precise strokes.

Your left hand moved to his hair and tugged on the blonde locks as his administration made your clit pulsate with need. You couldn’t decipher whether you wanted him to stop or continue.

He tutted on you pulling his hair. You whimpered at the loss of his mouth on your pussy when the clicking of his belt echoed in the empty space. He yanked both your hands behind your back and secured them in place with his belt, the grip firm but not harsh.

“No.Touching.” He growled in your ear as his words were accentuated by a slap on each of your buttcheeks, making you whimper in pain and pleasure as you let your forehead rest against the cool marble and he knelt again.

He took your clit in his mouth again but with more ferocity as your pussy clenched around nothing, “Oh my god, Steve yes!” You mewled.

“Captain or I won’t let you cum.” He commanded as his fingers joined in and drew slow and teasing circles around your cunt.

“Captain, please.” You pleaded as your orgasm started to build up in your stomach.

“Good girl, that’s my good girl.” He finally eased his index finger inside of you, his thick and long finger filling your pussy and you were afraid as to how you were going to take his cock as his finger alone stretched your vagina.

He pumped his finger in and out of you all the while kissing and sucking your clit. When you bucked into his finger he added another one, exploring your velvety walls to find your spot that would make you sing. He curled his fingers when you dripped around his fingers and mouth.

“Mhmm, captain. Feels so good.” You cried out as your climax was approaching you faster, your skin glistening with sweat under the pale moonlight. It was so embarrassing, being this crying and moaning mess he had turned you into. His hands kneading your thighs and ass.

“Are you going to cum, princess?” Steve asked in a husky voice as he kept up his pace, replacing his mouth with his thumb to grow circles around the bundle of nerves,

Your skin was on ablaze, the coil tightening in your belly as you were tethering on the of falling apart. “Yes, Captain. Please let me cum.” You requested, spellbound. He didn’t need to ask you to beg, you were already sliding into your subspace. His finger found your g spot as he twisted his fingers, making you whimper as your breath shuddered.

He snickered, sending vibrations through your body. “I didn’t know you were so obedient, good to know.”His hand came down on your clit and it was the final straw that threw you over the edge.

You came with a loud moan as the blinding pleasure brought tears to your eyes and you gushed around his lips and fingers, coating his chin. He lapped all your juice, his pace not halting as he drank your nectar greedily.

Your body was quivering from the force of your orgasm, your heart racing as you tried to collect yourself.

Steve got up on his feet and you almost collapsed when he wrapped a sturdy hand around your shaking body, pressing you against his chest. He jutted your chin up and grinned down at you. “Aw, you already look so fucked out darling but it’s just the beginning, we have the whole night.” He smashed his lips with yours, swallowing your tired whimpers and moans.

After devouring your mouth and leaving you breathless. He picked you up and started walking to his left. You were too dizzy to notice your surroundings till you were hitting silk bed sheet and plush mattress. You glanced at Steve through your hazy vision as he stood at the end of the bed.

He smirked down at you. “How about you return the favour, sweetheart? Strip.” He ordered and it was enough to clear your mind of any hangover.

Your hand snaked to your back and you slid down the zipper and pulled off your dress, your breast clad in red lace coming into view as you completely removed the dress and discarded it on the floor.

You then unclasped your bra, trepidation and anticipation mingling together as your boobs spilled out. Now, you were completely naked, your panties already torn and tossed away.

“On your hands and knees.” He commanded as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt, his abs and chest made your mouth water and you wanted to grab and touch him but shook away the thoughts.

You got on your hands and knees, clothes rustling till the bed dipped behind you. Steve ran his hand up your spine, sneaking underneath to grop your breast. You mewled as his thumb tweaked your pebbled nipples, twisting and flickering the buds till you were writhing under him.

His other hand smacked your ass, causing you to whimper. “Spread your legs more, I want to see that pussy.”

You spread your legs some more, displaying your glistening cunt to Steve’s hungry gaze. “You have such a pretty pussy.” He said as he played with you enough that you were whining before he rubbed the tip of his cock over your cunt, spreading your arousal and his pre cum.

You shuddered, you had an inclining that he was big but how much? That you didn’t know since you couldn’t see his dick from your position.

He slapped the head of his cock on your pussy and you visibly shuddered. He did it a few more times before you were dripping for him and was on the verge of sobbing in frustration.

“Such a shame that it is about to get ruined by my big cock.” He declared and pushed the tip inside you. You moaned as you awaited your eventual mounting.

You clutched the silky sheets as he slowly bottomed out, your walls spasmed as they tried to accommodate his length. You were so full already and he was gracious enough to give you time to adjust. All the while he explored your body, kissing your spine, kneading and spanking your thighs, ass and breasts. His touch was electrifying and in no time, you were whimpering for him to move.

“Ah, someone is getting impatient.” Steve mocked but began moving out of your hot channel. He was slow and deliberate, his girth dragged through your walls and your pussy fluttered.

He hissed. “Don’t do that darling if you want to walk the next day.” He pulled out all the way, only the tip remained inside. Pushing your head further into the pillow as he slammed inside your cunt in one stroke, taking your breath away.

“Look at your pussy, pulling me in and clenching around me,” He grunted as his hold on your hips tightened. He looked where you two were connected and sighed in awe. “I didn’t know you were such a slut, you look so innocent. But look at you now, dripping around a man’s dick you barely know,” He pulled out again and thrusted back in with the same power. The slow yet rough pace he set made you cry out in pleasure as your climax started to stir in your lower belly again. “But I like how cockdrunk you are that you just don’t give a shit anymore.” He groaned and pulled out.

He changed his angle slightly and when he thrusted back again, he hit your g-spot and you screamed, flames of pleasure intensifying. He tugged you by the hair, pressing you against his toned chest. “Tell me that you are my slut.” He growled in my ear.

“I’m your slut, Captain!” you said breathlessly as his deep thrusts made you gasp.

His hand came to your clit and his thumb started drawing circles, making you tremble in his grip. “Yes, you are my slut. My fuck toy, who would let me do whatever I want and whenever I want with her because I own you now. Repeat what I have said.” He thrusted harder and if it wasn't for his strong grip, you would have fallen down.

“I'm your fuck toy. You can do whatever you want and whenever you want with me because you own me now.” You cried.

“Such a good obedient girl- Ahh, taking my cock so well. Now, you are going to ask me to make you cum.” He groaned his thumb sped up. Leaning down, he sucked on your pulse point, surely leaving a hickey, marking you as his.

“Please Captain, let me cum! Let me cum around your big cock.” You squealed out. Tilting your face upwards he kissed, hard and rough, you moaned against his lips as you tasted yourself on him.

“Good girl, now cum for me.” He demanded as fingers and thumb pinched your clit, his cock hitting your sweet spot in quick succession.

You shrieked ‘captain’ as you came around his girth, squirting on his dick. “Good, what a good little slut for your captain.” He moaned in satisfaction as he nibbled at your earlobe, fucking you through your release.

He let go of you when your shaking died down. Your face fell on the pillow as you tried to catch your breath. Your fucked out mind didn’t register that he didn’t come till you were being flipped on your back. Coming face-to-face with his annoyingly handsome face.

“You didn’t think it was over, did you?” He rasped with a smirk as he plunged into your cunt once again, but this time with more fervour.

You instantly mewled but the overstimulation and coming two times had worn you out, you weren’t used to this. You attempted to scoot away from Steve. “I-I can’t, too much.”

He pulled you back down on his cock, wrapping your legs around his waist. He restrained your hands over his head with one hand, leaving you unable to escape the pleasure he was giving you. “You can and you will. Get used to it, sweetheart. I’m being gentle right now,” He growled as he moved on top of you.

The pace was rough and fast, the bed rattling with each thrust, your boobs jiggled from the speed. He placed his hand on your lower stomach. “Do you feel me here?” He asked, the belly bulge sending shivers down your spine.

“Yes, I do, Captain.” You managed to choke out as he pounded in your pussy mercilessly.

“Then enjoy it, honey. Enjoy, writhing and moaning underneath me. My cock stretching your tight cunt, because that’s where you belong. Taking my cock like a good little fuck doll.” He husked as the force of his thrust increased with each passing second. The pain and pleasure mixing made tears fall from your eyes, the knot tightening yet again.

Steve leaned over you, kissing your tears, trailing down to your neck and then your boobs, groping and licking the plump area before taking your pebbled nipples into his hot mouth.

“Oh my god!” Your back arched, pleasure zapping through your body like thunder as his hot tongue sucked on your nipples and his hand massaged your other breast. All the while his thick cock rammed into you, his pubic areas brushing your clit.

Your hands jolted to touch him but he had your hands pinned above. You shut your eyes and enjoyed the unyielding pleasure he was bestowing upon you as pressure built up for the third time in your stomach. Your moans and his grunts bounced off the wall, so did the clapping sound of skin slapping against the skin.

Suddenly, his grasp loosened before coolness touched your ring finger. You looked up as he slid a beautiful sapphire ring into your finger, sealing your fate with his forever. You managed out a surprised gasp. He brought your hand down and pinned it to your side, giving you a proper view of the ring as it sparkled under the stark glowing moon.

“Imagine me, sweetheart,” Your breath caught in your throat as his speed grew frantic, his cock hitting the deepest part of your cunt as he chased his own release. “Imagine me when you have to romance on screen with some pitiful A-list actor.” He whispered in your ear, intertwining your hands with his as he kissed your lips. It was softer than the previous ones but no less demanding.

“Imagine me when you have to pretend to fuck someone on set. Because I know,” He whispered against your lips before lowering his hand to your clit and he drew fast circles on the bundle of nerves to help you fall apart.

Steve cursed under his breath and thrusted faster when your walls clenched his dick. “Because I know that I have ruined you for any other man. Ruined this pussy for anyone except me. So, imagine me when you kiss a man and realize that he’ll never make you feel this good.” You nodded along his words as tears streamed down your cheeks, smearing your eyeliner and mascara but he paid no heed to it. Rather, enjoying your fucked out state.

The fullness of his dick inside your pussy and the overwhelming stimulation finally tipped you over the edge as you came the hardest and it hit you like a tsunami.

After some more brutal thrust, he came inside of you with a loud groan. His hot cum spilling inside your abused cunt as it milked him dry. He pumped into you a few more times, giving you every last drop of his seed and staying inside your warm channels till his cock softened.

He put his forehead against yours as he finally pulled out and you almost whined at the loss of dick but restrained yourself as his cum leaked out of your hole.

Only heavy breaths echoed in the spacious room as both of you caught your breath. You were beyond regaining your previous strength as you couldn’t even move a muscle. However, Steve recovered shortly afterwards as he kissed your forehead and whispered smugly. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it? I think you even enjoyed it.”

You didn’t answer because he was right, you enjoyed every bit of it even if you didn’t want to. Before you could drown yourself in self-pity. Steve picked you up and took you to his bathroom to soak you in a nice, warm bath…

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers au #mob steve #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers x reader au #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x fem!reader #steve rogers x female reader #mob steve rogers #CT 2024 raffle entry

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aria-ashryver · 6 months

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SAAM2024 - SA Awareness Month

TW: SA, discussions around rape and sexual violence

Listen, I’m going to talk about something it isn’t easy or fun to talk about. I’m going to try and get a point across, and hopefully have it amount to something legible, because I am already feeling my body physically reacting with symptoms of stress.

I want to talk about sexual assault.

Did you know that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month? And has been, for the last 23 years? Because I sure didn’t! Which is wild, considering I am a survivor of six separate incidents of sexual assault, two of which were penetrative rape.

I looked up the SAAM2024 hashtag and found crickets. Because who the hell wants to talk about sexual violence and rape on a random Thursday, right?

The thing is, we need to be having these conversations.

Of course, the onus isn’t on survivors to start the conversation — who would ask someone who is horrifically traumatised to open those scars again and talk about their trauma? I couldn’t even say the word “rape” for years.

[note: I have chosen not to censor the word rape here as a part of my own recovery process. Its just a word. I refuse to let it incite terror. Its just a word. ]

So who, then? If we could all talk about sex and sexual assault —if these were topics of conversation that weren’t so taboo to discuss— we could begin to take steps to make things safer for ourselves and for others.

So here I am, talking.

I feel it is important to destigmatise sex as this hush hush topic; it’s important to be able to discuss safe sex, consent, to differentiate what is just “bad sex” from what is assault. People are often quick to brush off encounters that give them the ick as just “bad sex”.

I was no different.

At sixteen, I didn’t have the terminology to describe what happened to me as rape. In a culture that glamorises illicit affairs and drunken hook-ups at parties, I didn’t have the comprehension to realise that what happened to me was not some sexy, drunken, desirable thing.

[trigger warning for more context around the first of my rapes]

I had been at a party, celebrating the wrap of my high school’s theatre production. I had been drinking underage and was extremely drunk*.

(*which in no way excuses what happened to me — it is important to take steps to dismantle rape culture and victim-blaming.)

There was a classmate I had been on a few dates with, and though we had been handsy during makeout sessions a few times, we had never discussed having sex. He offered to pick me up from the party, to give me a place to stay for the night. He had not been in attendance at the party, and was completely sober. By the time he drove us both home, I was already intermittently blacking out.

I have only a few memories of that night. One, crystal clear even to this day — a concerned classmate, grabbing my arm as I was heading out of the venue. The look of alarm on his face as he asked if I had a safe means of transport home. I lied to him. I have no idea why. I told him my mother was waiting in the vehicle that had just pulled up, and he let me go.

The next memory that I have is of his bedroom ceiling. A vague, blurred outline of his unclothed body over mine, as he was raping me.

Yes, we had been at that tentative, early stage of a potential relationship. Yes, I had taken him up on the offer to go to sleep at his house.

But, in the state I was in, there is no possible way I could have consented to sex.

I knew something was wrong, afterwards. I knew I spent the next night curled in a ball, sobbing in the shower for a reason. I knew there was a reason I froze up when a friend side-eyed me at school the following Monday, and said “you had sex with him, didn’t you?”. What I didn’t understand was that the reason was because I had been raped.

Because I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe my experience as such.

Because people don’t like to talk about sexual assault.

But we need to talk about sexual assault.

Conversations about sex can and should be removed from the concept of arousal. You can and should talk about sex without it being labelled as horny, or flirty, or suggestive — because it is just another topic to learn about.

Sex is an intricately nuanced thing that can mean so many different things to so many different people. There are elements of shame and embarrassment around sexual encounters sometimes; young and naive as I was, I was ready to take my crawling feelings of shame, self-blame, disgust, and put them down to “it was just bad sex”.

It wasn’t until long after the horror of my second, more violent rape, that I was able to pinpoint some of the trauma responses as being the same as that first time. There were patterns there, feelings that, had I been in a position of knowing more about safe sex and consent, I would have recognised sooner for what they were.

Its all well and good to go “hey! Don’t rape people!” and pat yourself on the back for your activism.

But the thing is, that kind of does sweet fuck all to actually help people who are at risk of experiencing sexual violence. What we really need is to take actionable steps toward improving people’s sexual safety and practises around consent and safe sex.

So what does that look like?

We talk about sex and consent without stigma.

We believe survivors and do not victim-blame

We practice respecting other people’s bodily autonomy in everyday scenarios, before it ever reaches a sexual context — if someone doesn’t want to hug you, respect their autonomy! If someone tells you to stop tickling them, even though they are laughing, hey, guess what? Respect their autonomy!

We remember what consent looks like, and take steps to inform others — consent is always clear, continuous, coercion-free, and conscious.

We make it second nature to take basic steps toward safety — never leave a drink unattended at a party! Stick to a buddy system to ensure people get home safe! Not because you suspect something will happen, it's just a default behaviour!

Be that classmate that tries to stop a drunk person walking out into the night alone.

The more we do these kinds of things, the less mystical and nebulous this whole “safe sex and healthy consent” thing becomes, and the safer we all are for it.

I’m gonna cut myself off here for my own wellbeing, as this has been extremely taxing, but let me provide a few links that I think are relevant. I hope this might be in some way helpful, and encourages others to continue the conversation offline. (or online, even -- reblogs are totally fine, and please feel free to add other stories or links if you have resources to share)

Be safe, and to any SA survivors who happen to be reading this, please know that you will always be yours, and what happened to you was not your fault. 💖

What is Consent (VeryWellMind)

History of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (NSVRC)

Sexual Violence Prevention: Beginning the Dialogue (NSVRC)

How to Support a Survivor (CRCC)

Finding Help If You’ve Been Sexually Abused (Crisis Text Line)

#tw sa #cw sa #cw sa mention #tw r*pe #SAAM #SAAM2024

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lovessidney · 11 months

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You're worth finding

Please note that this explicit story was written by an adult, for adults. If you are under the age of 18, please do not interact.

Trigger warning: Alcohol abuse.

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Pronouns: none, I think (anatomy: AFAB).

Requested by: @xpsidedownn

Summary: You and Gerard get into a terrible fight. They’re drinking in a worrying kind of way and all you want is to help them, but it doesn’t go down the way you want it to. You spend the evening looking for them and in the end, you make up.

A/n: This request has taken me aaaaaaaaages, and I’m so so so sorry. I’ve had the worst writers block and have been working my ass off both with uni and actual work. But it’s finally done.

Also, I'm switching up my writing. So, if you’ve read anything of mine maybe you’ve seen I’ve always written in third-person perspective. I don’t know why. However, that led to a lot of names, pronouns and (y/n)s, so I’ve decided to try first-person perspective. I hope y’all like it.

Second ”also”, I’m in no way trying to glamorise alcohol abuse, and I tried to be respectful about it. I fully understand it’s a very real disease and I’m in no way trying to portray it unfairly or disrespectfully. Still; if any of you feel like I’ve gotten something wrong or find it disrespectful, please let me know and I will do my best to alter the story or simply remove it.

Your timer beeped, letting you know it was time to start boiling pasta. The sauce to accompany it was already simmering in a pot beside the one now containing pasta. It smelled wonderful, you had to admit.

Gerard had had a very rough week, stressing a lot for tonight’s gig. In an ordinary situation, you would’ve been there to support them, as well as the rest of the band. Unfortunately, you had one hell of a cold and had spent most of the past few days in bed, accompanied by various medicines and wads of paper tissues.

Despite it all, you wanted to do something nice for Gerard. Dinner and a movie, at home edition. So you had made your way to the local supermarket, getting ingredients for their favourite pasta dish, as well as snacks and an unusually nice bottle of red wine.

When you got home, you had a shower and even dressed up just a little bit nicer than usual. And now you stood in the kitchen, just finishing up the last of the dinner preparations.

You looked toward the table. There were candles lit, a fresh bouquet of roses, and two glasses of red wine. Soft music played in the background, adding to the soft and romantic atmosphere.

You could hear a key being inserted into the lock. Or at least, it sounded like someone was trying to unlock the door. A few moments passed, and the struggle persisted. Your mind started wandering. It wasn’t the first time this happened. And as good as every time it did, Gerard was drunk beyond belief.

Your heart sank, and immediately your mood changed. You weren’t angry. Not at all. You were just worried about them. They had been drinking much more, and much more often lately. You knew something was wrong. Gerard probably knew it too, deep down somewhere. But they weren’t in a place to accept that or accept help. Not right now.

A few more moments passed by, and you decided to go let them in yourself. They almost fell inside as you opened the door. Clearly, they had been leaning against it while trying to find the right key and unlock the door.

You caught them in your arms and immediately smelled the alcohol on their breath. You wrapped your arms around them, holding them close. Even if this wasn’t what you had imagined, you were glad to have them home.

For a while, you just stood there, arms wrapped around each other. “Hi, honey,” you finally said and kissed them when you had let go of each other.

“Hi, you,” they answered, slightly swaying on the spot as you let go of them.

You tried not to let your brow furrow with concern as you looked at them. Still, they noticed. “It smells really nice. Have you been cooking?” they asked, in an attempt to cheer you up. But they were still swaying, their words were slurred, and it just broke your heart. It would’ve been one thing if they were drunk but otherwise in good spirits, but that sadness in their eyes worried you. You know that they hadn’t gotten drunk to celebrate another good gig, but rather to escape something, and it just killed you.

You smiled at them. “Thanks, Gee. Are you hungry?” you asked while lacing your fingers together. They nodded tiredly. You led them to the kitchen. It wasn’t many steps from the hallway to the kitchen, but they still almost crashed into a wall on your way there.

In the end, you decided just to sit them down on one of the chairs and serve them their food before getting your own. Before you sat down, Gerard had already emptied their glass of wine. You could feel the tears prickling behind your eyes.

“Honey, has something happened?” you asked them. Usually, they got drunk, but when they came home to you, they tried to dial it down. Not this time, though.

They looked at you with tired, empty eyes and said nothing. They just reached for the bottle and poured another glass. It was more than what you would usually pour into a glass of that kind. Especially for a somewhat romantic dinner. They lifted the glass to their lips.

“Gee, please, you have to talk to me,” you somewhat pleaded, somewhat demanded.

Gerard’s gaze flickered from the glass to you, their eyes clouded with a mixture of sadness and anger. “Talk? About what?” Their words were sharp, and their tone laced with bitterness.

“About what’s been going on, Gerard. You’ve been drinking so much lately, and I’m scared. Something’s not right, and I want to help you.”

They scoffed, their laughter tinged with bitter irony. “Oh, now you’re an expert on my life, huh? You think you know what’s best for me?”

You shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes as you struggled to make them understand. “No, Gerard, I don’t think I know what’s best for you. But I can’t just stand here and watch you destroy yourself. You’re drowning in this, and I don’t know how to help you if you won’t let me in.”

Gerard pushed themselves up from the chair, their legs scraping against the floor with an awful screech. Their face contorted with frustration and they jabbed a finger in your direction. “You think I’m the problem? You think I need to be fixed, like some broken toy?”

Your voice trembled as you tried to reason with them. “No, Gerard, you’re not a problem to be fixed. You’re a person who’s hurting, and I love you. I just want you to talk to me, to let me in. Please.”

They took a step toward you, their eyes blazing with a mix of anger and despair. “You don’t get it, do you? You can’t fix me! No one can. So stop trying!”

The weight of their words hung in the air, suffocating the room. You felt tears streaming down your face as you watched them walk out the door, leaving you alone in the dimly lit room, with the remnants of your romantic dinner and a heavy sense of helplessness hanging in the air.

The plates and the rest of the supposed-to-be romantic dinner sat on the table, untouched, a stark contrast to the emotional turmoil that had just unfolded. You knew that you couldn’t force Gerard to talk or change their ways. They had to want to change for themselves.

With a heavy heart, you got up and began cleaning up the kitchen. The candles you had lit earlier flickered softly as you extinguished them one by one. The roses in the bouquet still looked beautiful, but their presence seemed bittersweet now.

After cleaning up the kitchen, you found yourself sitting alone in the dimly lit room. Tears had streaked your cheeks, leaving trails of sadness in their wake. The bottle of wine on the table tempted you, almost like a silent, soothing friend. But you knew that indulging in it wouldn’t be right, not after what the fight had been about. So, you chose cold water to quench both your thirst and your emotions.

Sipping the water, you gazed out of the window at the dark night sky. Memories of what romantic dinners used to be flooded your mind. The laughter, the shared dreams, the way Gerard’s eyes used to light up when you surprised them with their favourite meal. You held onto those memories like a lifeline, knowing that someday, you’d find your way back to that happiness. And with that, you also knew that you had to find Gerard, wherever they had gone off to.

With determination in your heart and a sense of purpose, you headed out into the night, leaving your home behind. The city around you was bathed in the soft glow of streetlights, casting long shadows on the empty streets. The echoes of your argument with Gerard still reverberated in your mind, but you refused to let despair consume you.

You got into your car and just drove, without any plan at all, as if you hoped Gerard would just turn up. You drove through the darkened streets, memories of your time together replaying in your mind. The city held so many moments – moments of joy and love. You remembered the motel where you had stayed temporarily when you last moved, a place that despite everything held many good memories and lots of hope for the future.

Though you didn’t know why, something deep inside you told you that Gerard might be there. Maybe it was a sense of nostalgia, a longing for a time when things were simpler, a time when you were each other’s everything.

As you pulled up to the motel, you felt a surge of both anxiety and anticipation. You hesitated for a moment, your hand gripping the car’s steering wheel, before finally stepping out into the night.

The motel was just as you remembered it – a nondescript building with a neon sign flickering intermittently. You parked the car and took a deep breath, unsure of what you would find inside.

Entering the dimly lit lobby, you approached the reception desk, your heart pounding with uncertainty. The tired-looking motel clerk glanced up from a magazine, offering a weary smile. “Can I help you?”

You hesitated for a moment, then decided to ask. “Has someone named Gerard checked in here?”

The clerk raised an eyebrow, seeming uninterested at first. But then, after a moment of thought, he nodded slowly. “Yeah, there was a guy who checked in about an hour ago, they looked pretty out of it. Room 205.”

Your heart skipped a beat. It was as if a surge of hope had washed over you. You thanked the clerk and stepped outside again, looking for room 205.

Gerard was sitting outside the door of 205, a pack of beer beside them and a cigarette to their lips. They looked absolutely miserable.

As you walked closer, Gerard looked up at you. They blinked a few times, just to make sure what they were seeing was true. They fumbled for words for a moment. “How did you find me?” they said, their words slightly slurred. “I don’t know honey. Something just told me you’d be here.”

You sat down beside Gerard and leaned your head on their shoulder. They held the cigarette out for you to take a drag, and they looked at you while you did. “You’re so pretty,” they said with sad, bloodshot eyes.

“Gerard honey, so are you. You’re my darling.” You placed a soft kiss on their cheek. “I’m so sorry I got angry before honey. I just get worried about you.”

Gerard looked at you with big eyes. “I’m sorry too. I know you’re just looking out for me. I know I’m hard to love sometimes.” You carefully pushed a strand of hair from Gerard’s face. “You’re not hard to love, honey, I love you the most in the entire world. I just want you to be okay.”

You just sat there together for a moment, taking turns with the cigarette. You leaned your head on Gerard’s shoulder again, just wanting to be close.

The night air was cool against your skin as you and Gerard sat there, side by side, sharing the cigarette. Time seemed to slow down, the weight of the argument and the tension from earlier dissipating in the shared moment of calm.

Gerard’s fingers brushed against yours as they took another drag from the cigarette. Their gaze remained fixed on the distant horizon as if searching for answers in the darkness. “I don’t want to be this way, you know,” Gerard finally confessed, their voice a mixture of vulnerability and regret.

You squeezed their hand gently, offering reassurance. “I know, Gerard. It’s not easy, but you’re not alone. We’ll face it together.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of Gerard’s lips. “You always know how to make me feel better,” they whispered, their words carried away by the breeze. “That’s what I’m here for,” you replied softly, leaning your head against their shoulder once more. “We’ll get through this.”

After a while, the cigarette burned down to its last embers, and Gerard extinguished it against the pavement. They turned their head to look at you, their eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and affection. “You’re my rock, you know?” You chuckled, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. “And you’re mine. The ups and the downs, they’re all part of who you are.”

Gerard leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, a tender affirmation of your connection. “Let’s go home,” they said softly, their hand finding yours. Together, you stood up, leaving behind the worries and strife of the evening.

Back in the car, as you drove through the quiet streets toward your apartment, a comfortable silence enveloped you. Gerard’s hand rested on your thigh, their fingers tracing absent patterns as if seeking comfort in just touching you. The city lights twinkled in the distance, a reminder that life continued beyond the challenges you faced.

When you arrived home, you led Gerard inside, the familiarity of the space providing a sense of grounding. Gerard’s band posters adorned the walls, a testament to their musical passion. You once again settled in the kitchen. Gerard looked at you with a mixture of exhaustion and gratitude. “Thank you for finding me,” they said softly. “You’re worth finding,” you replied, a gentle smile curving your lips.

“How about some tea?” you suggested. “And maybe some toast as well?” Gerard’s eyes lit up for a moment. “Are you sure? It’s late, and you probably want to sleep, and-” “Nonsense,” you said, retrieving the tea and a kettle. “Anything to help you feel better. And I’ve heard eating bread is good when you’ve had alcohol.”

You put a record on, and soon, the kettle whistled, and you poured the steaming water into cups, the soothing scent of chamomile enveloped the room. With a plate of warm toast in hand, you settled on the couch, passing Gerard a cup of tea and a slice of toast. They took a sip and let out a contented sigh.

“You really know how to make everything better,” they said with a soft smile.

“It’s a talent,” you quipped, a playful grin on your face. Gerard leaned in, their lips meeting yours in a soft kiss.

“I love you,” they murmured against your mouth.

“I love you too,” you whispered back, your heart feeling full and light.

As you both savoured the tea and sandwiches, the world outside faded into the background. At that moment, it was just you and Gerard, a testament to the strength of your bond and the willingness to weather the storms together. The scars of the evening were healing, replaced by a renewed sense of hope and the knowledge that love could conquer even the darkest of moments.

You sat together, mostly in silence, listening to the soft tunes the record player emitted. An array of candles glimmered on the table in front of you. Gerard had had almost all of their tea, while yours remained mostly untouched.

Despite having them back here with you, you still worried. You loved them so much, and all you wanted was for them to be okay. And the one thing you wanted least of all was to be angry. Sure, you knew that anger wasn’t the real emotion. The real emotion was worry, and feeling powerless, not able to protect them. And for some terrible reason that sometimes morphed into anger. The ugly, secondary emotion.

You looked over at Gerard, sitting curled up under a blanket at the opposite end of the sofa. They looked tired. Both as in that they needed to sleep, but also tired as in worn down, as in that they were having a hard time. You scooted closer and stretched your arms around them. A smile played on their lips for a moment. You allowed them to set their mug of tea down before pulling them into your arms. “Come here, honey.” They gladly fell into your arms and cuddled up there.

You sat together like that for a long time. You listened to Gerard’s breath and carefully stroked their hair. The record had come to its end, and the only sounds were now your breathing and Gerard’s yawns.

“Do you want to go to bed, darling?” you asked when you noticed the yawns becoming more frequent. They looked up at you, their eyes now tired instead of glazed over.

They nodded sleepily. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

The slurring was almost entirely gone now, and when Gerard walked to the bedroom, they didn’t stumble anymore.

“Okay, I’ll be right there, honey,” you said with a smile their way before collecting the dishes and taking them to the kitchen. After the dishes were set down, you got a glass from the cupboard and filled it almost to the brim with water before bringing it to Gerard in the bedroom.

They were already lying in bed, looking like they’d fall asleep any moment. You reached out the glass of water to Gerard. “Have some water, Gee, I think it’ll make you feel slightly better in the morning.”

They nodded and reached for the glass. A few sips later, they put the glass down on the nightstand and reached out for you. You were too tired to properly hang your clothes up and simply threw them on the chair in the corner of the bedroom. You slipped under the covers and cuddled up close to Gerard. For a moment, you just lay there, looking at each other.

You scooted closer and nuzzled your nose against Gerard’s. Carefully, Gerard reached their hand up to caress your cheek. “I love you, honey,” you whispered. A small smile played on their lips. “I love you the most in the entire world, actually. And I’ll never stop loving you. You know that, Gerard?”

Gerard nodded carefully. “I love you too. And I’m sorry about before.”

That sadness reached Gerard’s eyes again. Just as before, it shattered your heart. You didn’t even know what to say, so you just leaned in to kiss them. ”You don’t have to apologise honey. I’m just glad to have you home again.” And with that, you kissed them again.

As the weight of the evening’s events began to lift, and the warmth of reconciliation and love enveloped you both, the bedroom felt like a sanctuary. The soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated your faces as you continued to exchange kisses.

The kisses were soft at first, a gentle exploration of each other’s lips. Your fingers traced the contours of Gerard’s face, eliciting a soft sigh of contentment from them. Their hands moved slowly, too, caressing your back and shoulders as the intimacy between you deepened.

You couldn’t help but smile between kisses, the connection between you growing stronger with each passing moment. The taste of chamomile tea lingered on Gerards lips, adding a sweet and comforting layer to your kisses. In the dim light, you gazed into Gerard’s eyes, searching for any lingering traces of sadness.

Their gaze met yours with a newfound intensity, a desire to be present in the moment, to be close, to feel cherished.

The tenderness of your kisses gradually gave way to a more passionate longing. Your breaths quickened as your mouths moved together with an urgency that mirrored the intensity of your emotions. Fingers began to trace the curves of bodies, exploring the familiar terrain of each other’s skin.

Gerard’s soft moans filled the room, a symphony of desire and affection. The layers of clothing became an obstacle, one that you both eagerly discarded, exposing the vulnerability and beauty of your bodies.

Skin against skin, your bodies entwined, the warmth of Gerard pressed against you. You savoured every sensation, every touch, every kiss. The scent of your shared perfume, the taste of Gerard on your tongue, the feeling of their soft hair under your fingertips. The slow and gentle movements, the tender caresses, the breathless sighs and soft cries of pleasure.

Gerards hands left their place on the small of your beck and found their way upwards, one cupping your breast and one around your shoulders to pull you closer. They caressed you carefully and you could feel them growing harder against you.

You ground your hips against Gerard, seeking the friction that you both craved, urging them to continue the exploration. They obliged willingly, moving downwards from your breasts to your stomach, leaving a trail of kisses and licks as they went.

Their warm breath ghosted over your body, making you shudder with anticipation. Their eyes were fixed on you, observing every twitch and moan of pleasure as their tongue made contact with your inner thigh. They were teasing you, taking their time, enjoying the moment.

Your body ached for more, desperate for their touch, but instead, they continued their leisurely exploration of your skin. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they kissed you there. You could feel yourself dripping as they slipped a finger inside you.

Gerards lips closed around your clit and they sucked softly. A strangled cry escaped your lips as they slid another finger inside you, curling it to find your most sensitive spot.

It was too much and not enough at the same time, your senses were overwhelmed by Gerard. You gripped the sheets tightly, arching your back as they continued their ministrations.

Their mouth on your clit, their fingers inside you, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your legs trembled, and your whole body tensed as the pleasure built up. Gerards lips pulled back from your clit and their tongue pressed down against it.

"Oh god, Gerard...," you gasped as they worked their fingers inside you. The slow and deep movements made you dizzy with pleasure, and you couldn't help but grind against their hand. "I want you."

Your words had an instant effect on Gerard. They looked up at you, eyes gleaming with excitement. "Tell me what you want." It was not teasing or demeaning the way they said it. You knew it just turned them on so much to hear you say it.

You could barely speak through the waves of pleasure coursing through you, but you knew exactly what you wanted. "I want you to fuck me, Gerard. I love you so much and I want you to fuck me"

They nodded, removing their hand from your body and getting onto their knees. The sight of them in this position was almost too much for you to handle. They looked down at you, gaze full of desire and affection. "I'd be happy to, darling."

Gerard positioned themselves between your legs, entering you slowly, inch by inch, filling you with pleasure. Their thrusts were deep and deliberate, making you shudder with joy every time they bottomed out inside you. You wrapped your legs around their waist, pulling them closer, urging them to continue.

You could feel the warmth of their skin against yours as they moved inside you, the sensation sending tingles down your spine. Their kisses became more urgent, their movements faster, but still maintaining their steady rhythm.

As the heat between you intensified, the sound of your moans and gasps filled the room. Gerard looked down at you, their gaze full of love and tenderness. They kissed your lips again, eliciting a moan of pleasure from you. "I love you, my sweet," they murmured, their voice hoarse with pleasure.

Your climax was building quickly, the pressure inside you rising to unbearable heights. You threw your head back and rambled their name over and over as the wave of ecstasy crashed down on you, sending shockwaves through your body. They continued to move inside you, prolonging your orgasm until you couldn't take it anymore.

"Gerard, I... oh god, I can't..." You sobbed in pleasure as your body began to tremble.

They understood your need and stopped moving, letting you ride out the waves of pleasure that still made waves in your body. Gerard stayed still until your breathing steadied and you smiled up at them. You blinked at them for a moment, just taking in their beauty.

You pulled them downwards for a soft kiss before gently rolling them onto their back. They looked up at you with a confused expression, clearly not expecting this development.

"My turn," you whispered, kissing them again. "I want to make love to you."

Your lips found their way down their neck and chest, leaving a trail of kisses in their wake. You enjoyed the taste of their skin, savouring the salty sweetness of their sweat as you moved lower. Their breaths quickened with excitement as your mouth found their nipples. You flicked your tongue over their hardening nub and they moaned softly in pleasure.

You continued your descent, trailing kisses across their stomach until you reached their cock. You glanced up at them, smiling as you pressed your mouth against the warm skin above it. The smell of their arousal was strong, and you could feel yourself becoming even wetter with anticipation of another round.

Their hips rose to meet you as you kissed them there, so soft and tender. Your hands wrapped around their cock, stroking them slowly, watching them shiver under your touch. "Oh god, that feels so good." They were beautiful like this, eyes closed, back arched, body responding to your every touch. You loved seeing them in the throes of passion, unable to contain their pleasure, giving into the sensations of your touch and tongue.

Your lips continued to move lower, kissing their inner thighs and sensitive areas that made them quiver. You took your time, enjoying the moment as you licked and sucked, exploring every inch of their skin until you reached the base of their cock.

Gerard looked down at you, gasping for breath, watching with wonder as you took them into your mouth. Your tongue was quick and deliberate, licking and sucking just the right way to make them see stars. They moaned as you took them deep inside your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and moving your head back and forth.

Their hips rose to meet you again, fingers tangling in your hair, guiding you deeper and deeper. You were happy to oblige, taking them all inside you until they gasped for air.

"Oh my god," they murmured, shivering as you continued to suck. "That feels incredible."

You hummed in agreement, the vibrations of your voice making them twitch and groan in pleasure. The sensation was delicious, and you knew it wouldn't take long before they came undone under your tongue. You loved seeing them fall apart like this, falling into your mouth and arms as you held them close.

Gerard pulled you upwards for another kiss. You moved closer, pressing your body against theirs, kissing their neck and chest as they struggled to breathe. Their skin was warm and flushed, radiating pleasure and affection. They were gorgeous like this, so needy and desperate for more.

You felt the heat rising between you again, bodies grinding together, their cock hard and aching for more. You kissed them again, pulling them into a deep and hungry kiss that left them gasping for breath before positioning yourself over them.

"Are you ready?" You whispered, gazing down at them with a gentle expression on your face.

They nodded, wrapping their arms around your waist. "Please, my love."

Their eyes fluttered closed as you lowered yourself onto their cock. You took your time, letting the feeling of fullness take over your body.

You began to move slowly, taking long deep breaths as you rose and fell, building a rhythm that soon became urgent and frantic. Their hands roamed over your skin, caressing your breasts and back. The warmth between you intensified and you both gasped for air as you continued to move, bodies sweaty and entwined.

The pressure inside you grew unbearable again, and you knew it wouldn't be long before you came undone. You looked down at Gerard, their gaze filled with wonder and lust. Their moans were beautiful, soft and desperate, their body trembled and shuddered under your touch.

"I'm so close," they murmured, throwing their head back against the pillow and urging you to move faster, chasing the orgasm that threatened to consume them. "Honey, please... I need more.”

You quickened your movements, grinding against them, making them cry out in pleasure as their cock buried inside you. They looked up at you, their eyes pleading with you for release.

"Oh god, my love...," they whimpered, climax building rapidly. You could feel it coming closer, their body on the edge of ecstasy under you. You were so close yourself, the pressure inside you rising to unbearable heights, almost too much for you to take.

"I'm with you, honey," you murmured, lips moving against theirs as you spoke.

Gerard closed their eyes and moaned softly, their body shaking and trembling under yours. Their release was beautiful, making you gasp with pleasure as you joined them in their orgasm. Your bodies were still tangled together when you opened your eyes again. You couldn't help but smile, breathless and sweaty from lovemaking.

You leaned over them, planting soft kisses all over their face, cherishing the moment, taking in the beauty of them. They wrapped their arms around you, holding you close, stroking your hair and whispering sweet words into your ear.

"Oh my love," they murmured, squeezing your hand. "I’m so lucky to have you."

Your eyes began to brim with tears, happiness bubbling up inside you. "I'm just as lucky to have you," you whispered, leaning in for a tender kiss. "I love you."

Their gaze was full of affection and tenderness, their fingers intertwined with yours. "I love you too," they whispered. "You are my world."

In the soft afterglow, Gerard cuddled up in your arms and you held them close, carefully running your fingers through their hair. The room was bathed in the gentle hues of the rising sun, casting a warm, golden light upon your entwined bodies.

You both knew this wasn’t a magical solution, and that Gerard would still have their ups and downs, it was going to be an uphill battle at times. But for now, everything felt good, and it felt like it was going to be better.

You smiled down at Gerard who had almost fallen asleep on your chest. You kissed the top of their head softly and pulled them closer. The sound of their breathing made you calm, and soon the both of you had fallen asleep.

I hate to sound like a YouTuber (no offence, lol) but thank you for reading if you made it all the way here. I hope you liked it. And don’t hesitate to send me any requests you might have. I have a lot to do right now, but I still like to hear new ideas. Okay, thanks a lot!

#My Chemical Romance fanfic #Gerard Way fanfic #Gerard Way x reader #Smut #Ssidney writes #Tw: alcohol

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jolapeno · 1 year

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RESURRECTED CHANCES | frankie morales x f!reader

Chance ADJECTIVE [ADJECTIVE noun] A chance meeting or event is one that is not planned or expected. ...a chance meeting. set after the events in Colombia, single-dad Frankie meets "Pretty Girl" at one of Benny's fights. kick-starting a second chance at happiness he'd long since abandoned.

an: welcome to a series (that isn't a typical series). the one-shots will be uploaded as and when, sometimes out of order, showcasing the loving, happy relationship between frankie, his new love and his son. it begins with single-dad!frankie. no use of y/n, but the nickname 'PG' (pretty girl) will be used.

warnings: fluff (cmon, this is me) falling in love, mentions of frankie’s son/child. smut (in the future). flirting, banter and feelings. mentions of prev.drug use (canon, not glamorised). trauma from the past (frankie)

updated: 14.SEPT.2023

ONE-SHOTS/CHAPTERS

the day frankie meets you after being dragged out from his apartment, frankie meets you—the best friend to benny’s fiancé. and isn’t able to stop smiling.

the day frankie brings takeout

the day frankie can be there for you

the day three words are said they're simple. those three words. especially when you mean them.

the day he both loves and loathes the kitchen counter fall is a season that looks good on you.

the day franke came home he’s been gone for ten days, and don’t you both know it. warnings: smut, p in v, mirror sex, frankie wants some.

DRABBLES: (some of these were posted before i shared about the series)

long distance “how do you think they’d both cope when he has to go away for longer than four days?”

all of this wouldn’t be possible (including the name) without my friend, G. not only does she hold my hand, but she keeps telling me I can do this, even if my brain tells me i can’t. every word for this is for her.

#francisco morales x reader #frankie morales x reader #francisco morales fanfiction #✨🩷 francisco morales #frankie morales x you #francisco morales x f!reader #francisco morales x you #frankie morales fanfiction #triple frontier x reader

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daddyfordaeddy · 5 months

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[Updated April 20 2024]

All stories contain smut, minors do not interact.

Request guidelines

I write for any group, but I reserve the write to decline a request or part of a request for any reason.

I will not write :

Graphic sexual assault, pedophilia and incest, animal abuse, glamorisation of any mental health or physical ailments, any material that may encourage sasaeng actions, and rape.

Please don’t ask for frequent updates on your request—I do my best to write as quickly as I can. You can inquire about the status but please try not to ask without reprieve.

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It’s your birthday and Wooyoung’s a little surprised at your wish, but not against it

Blue Blood - king! Seonghwa x queen! Reader

Your marriage to Seonghwa has been nothing exciting. But things change during his coronation ball

Long Winter's Night - werewolf! Yunho x f! Reader

On the week of the solstice, Yunho’s rut starts

A Rose is a Rose - mafia! Seongjoong x f! Reader [Tipsy Drabbles]

After leaving the mafia scene for five years, you’ve had to go back and beg for help from the boss of your former family…and your ex

Hospitality - sugar baby! Wooyoung x sugar mommy! Reader [extension of fff24 day 20 by sanjoongie]

After your first roleplay sparked a deep want for more, you and Wooyoung finally are able to act out your next desires

I Can't Make You Love Me - fuckbuddies! Jongho x f! Reader

You’re in love with Jongho, but all he wants is your body. Against your better judgement, you keep letting him use you.

February Filth Fest 2024

Lunch Break - CEO! husband! San x f! Reader

After delivering lunch to your husband’s office, the two of you get a little sidetracked

Double-Stuffed Oreo - boyfriend! Wooyoung x Reader

What better way to ravish your boyfriend than to double-stuff him?

Free Game - boyfriend! San x f! Reader

You lost a bet to San, and now he gets to do whatever he wants

Take the Time - god of time! San x f! Reader

Strange things keep happening, and your best friend may know something about it

Enough for You - husband! Mingi x f! Reader x other man! Hongjoong

Your second man is coming over for a night of passion, and your husband would like to attend

GOT7

I Feel So High When It's Just Us Two - Jinyoung x Mark

Mark sends Jinyoung a video, and Jinyoung is not pleased

Dinner Preparations - husband! Jinyoung x f! Reader

Jinyoung surprises you in the kitchen

Hands On - boyfriend! Jinyoung x f! Reader

Jinyoung cuts his hand at work. You lend him yours

Rule of Three - lawyers! YugMark x secretary! f! Reader

Mark and Yugyeom are having some fun in the office after hours, and you walk in on them

Your Touch is All I Need - boyfriend! Mark x f! Reader

You and Mark fuck in a bathroom and its hot and definitely not gross and germ-y in there

#masterlist

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anarchistfrogposting · 1 year

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Genuine question. How does an anarchist state deal with people who want to kill for fun? Do we just let them, because to have rules is to oppose ever single anarchist value, or do we stop them because true anarchism like that would be the death of humanity?

It’s a question that anarchists get a lot. I’ll say first and foremost that, like any other field I personally am not involved in the organisation of, public safety is better left to professionals who understand its machinations (and hence how to deconstruct its inherent hierarchies) better than myself (and no, I don’t mean the police).

I’ll also posit that anarchist society is absolutely not founded on the concept of an absence of rules, just an absence of hierarchical (as opposed to self-) government. I don’t blame you for thinking that; it’s a very common perception of anarchism, especially considering the associations people tend to form with the word anarchism and anarchy in modern lexicon.

It’s true that sometimes, somehow, people end up in a path of life wherein they would do something as heinous as kill for fun, or other various unjust reasons.

I’d first like to posit that such people and situations, whilst sensationalised, are in fact pretty rare.

But they might still exist, so what do we do about them? The first step, like in much anarchist praxis, is to shift perceptions and culture. Whilst it’s true that humans love gossip, I would also posit that much of the culture around serial murders and the like exists because media companies exaggerate and glamorise murder in order to grab clicks/interactions/readers. This is most stark, for example, in the cycle of American gun violence.

Familial units would be significantly less isolated as a result of their integration into their communities, meaning the cycles and chains of domestic abuse that often lead to the proliferation of those violent tendencies would be much less common. It’s worth remembering that capitalism’s rise came hand in hand with the breakdown in communities; that it had to in order to succeed.

But let’s say the revolution has happened, culture has shifted and yet there’s still mass and serial murderers out and about. What do we do about it?

Community self government also means community self defence. On a voluntary basis, that means that communities can set up security measures like communal watches, (extensively trained, cyclically employable and imminently accountable and recallable) guards, and even detainment revolving around the attempted reformation and treatment of those individuals.

Fundamentally, detainment exists as a means to reform individuals, and the workers in those facilities would all receive training and all be fully accountable and recallable to and by their communities. Accountability measures include enforcing transparency and setting up dual power that includes the prisoners themselves, the communities concerned with those facilities, and the staff volunteering in it.

This approach is contentious, and different anarchists have different opinions on the most effective strategies. A great example of a leading prison abolitionist is Angela Davis, if you’re interested in learning more about systems of justice outside of imprisonment.

Keep sending in your questions! I’ll do my best to answer (as long as you’re asking in good faith!) no (genuine) question is too silly.

#anarchism #anarchist #anarchocommunism #praxis #revolution #communism #communist #leftism #leftist #prison abolition #prison abolitionism #explanations #text posts #short essays #q & a

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sueske · 11 months

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Not to come off as pretentious but it really feels like no one but people on tumblr are able to really understand sasuke, naruto and their relationship. Like on other sites like tiktok, twitter or Instagram, of course you have it infected with hinata and Sakura fans who just naturally have bad takes but you also have sns fans who just like….. have embarrassingly bad takes.

I remember seeing a tiktok video about sns and it was an okay “analysis” it was just discussing like very base level things Sasuke’s character. but then they just go on to say that’s why he’s a top. Because “he needs to be in control. He likes having control. His abandonment issues lead him to needing to dominate someone to help him feel like he finally has agency in his life. Naruto being that someone is natural because of his fem / wife coding throughout the series. It’s been stated subliminally numerous times that naruto is the submissive in their relationship, he needs to be controlled unlike sasuke because he’s so rowdy and chaotic.” And like………. That’s an interesting take.

And the fact it got like around 2000 likes just kinda made me realize that sns tiktok fandom does not really understand sns at all and have likely not actually consumed the media and just got their information from other tiktok people or YouTube.

not the top bottom discourse crap…

I agree with u actually, the most nuanced and comprehensive takes I’ve seen about naruto have been on tumblr, including Japanese stuff as well that non speakers wouldn’t know about. Doesn’t help the viz official translation censors and changes stuff either. Granted there are bad takes on tumblr as well but u won’t find well written canon only essays about sns on a TikTok slideshow (at least from what I’ve seen.) personally I feel that tumblr is the easiest to use, I don’t like the character limit on Twitter and am pretty sure Reddit mods can do whatever they want. I’ve found some okay analysis on YouTube about naruto and sasuke and their bond, but I feel like they’re surface level, or could go deeper in some places and then don’t, and even if they do get it right for the most part the fact of the matter is sns’ bond is also romantic, not touching on that leaves things unfinished imo. Some naysayers in the comments section always seem to want to clarify that their bond is platonic or ‘sns are just bros’ - which, if people addressed one of sns’ biggest running plot threads that happens every single time they meet up in person (and not clones) from vote1 to the end (what are we?) - they’d perhaps realise something and sing a different tune. but yet no one does (at least from what I’ve seen?) or take moments singularly which I think is a shame since they’re very obviously connected and they’re very important. I guess it speaks volumes that they don’t and leave that untouched. I’d really love to watch a sns analysis video so it can reach a wider audience that covers their entire bond, their mutual understanding and pure love and empathy AND how it’s also romantic, the tropes, the literary devices, etc used to achieve this. I know some people complain that romantic bonds are glamorised in media and that they’re seen as somehow ‘more’ than platonic bonds, as a means to dissuade people from shipping sns romantically, but like sorry. sns are romantic and that’s how kishimoto wrote them and I can see it and others can see it and even if people can’t see it clearly they can at least feel it which is why sns are gay comments are everywhere lol.

#anon #ask #writing this on my phone takes so much time I miss my laptop 😭#my stuff

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tadpolesonalgae · 5 months

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oh my god tabby the angst that wouldve been 😩

like if reader tried to self exit, the way az would feel guilty??? the whole inner circle??? and eris is just there like 😐

oh god i cant stop thinking about that now 😭😭😭😭

(i have thought about it before lol like back when we only had like maybe 2-3 parts, i would constantly think of how az was mean to her and then she would try to self exit 😭😭😭)

This is actually something I wanted to talk about since there’s a subject I’m figuring out how to broach in chapter 16 (maybe 17, depending on how much I feel is okay to put in?)

Obviously reader tried to kill herself, and I feel I’ve tried to show the less glamorous side of her mental decline? With the physical symptoms as well as struggling with keeping her room tidy, remembering to wash, spiralling with thoughts etc. and there’s a topic that will come up in either chapter 16 or 17 that I’m struggling with slightly because I feel strongly there’s a side of this fandom that kind of sensationalises poor mental health (in a lot of fandoms, I’m just thinking of this one specifically since I can think of precise examples—but it’s definitely not a problem restricted to the acotar fandom) and I don’t want anyone to think that I’m trying to sensationalise/glamorise having poor mental health just to benefit the story? I’ve always intended for her to struggle, and I’ve tried to be faithful to what some common experiences can be when dealing with an unstable mindset?

All this being said, there’s no definite way to tell whether someone has experience with poor mental health or not, it’s kind of a judgement only you can make individually? But it’s definitely something I worry about, so I’d like to be clear I’m not trying to glamorise depression or having low-self esteem in cbmthy 🧡💛

#asks <3 #cbmthy #rambling

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storytime-reviews · 1 year

Text

Insatiable TV Review

A bullied teenager turns to beauty pageants as a way to exact her revenge, with the help of a disgraced coach who soon realizes he's in over his head.

I recently watched both seasons of Insatiable, and certainly did not expect to enjoy it as much as I did. I of course remember when the show first came out, because of the attention surrounding the way in which Patty Bladell (Debby Ryan) loses weight in the first episode, and the subsequent campaigns to remove the show. Insatiable should come with a big trigger warning for eating disorders and fat shaming, but I also felt that the ways in which Patty’s eating and exercise related behaviours are addressed throughout the show in no way minimise or glamorise the weight loss situation in the first place.

In fact, I don’t think the show would have worked so well if it ignored the issue. Instead, Patty is shown to constantly, realistically, struggle with self-esteem issues related to her weight. Both from the obsessive desire to maintain her weight, and therefore, her newfound value in the eyes of others, but also in the sense that she is never truly satisfied because she can so easily recognise how little people cared about her due to their fatphobia. And whilst many of these scenes could be triggering, I also found them to be relatable in so many ways. I personally liked that the show didn’t shy away from this.

That being said, Insatiable is a highly stylised black comedy, so it was never going to be quite what people may have wanted or expected out of it. Whilst it is no laugh out loud comedy, the ridiculous situations that the characters find themselves in are genuinely amusing, and make for some interesting viewing. I can’t say that I particularly liked any of the characters, but I enjoyed all of the character dynamics. Patty and her pageant coach, Bob (Dallas Roberts), have so many great scenes together and play off each other so well. They are both so similar, ruled by ridiculous dreams and notions of revenge, that their strange relationship makes a weird kind of sense.

But I particularly liked how by the second season so many other character relationships are developed and explored as well. Everyone in this show is the exact kind of unusual that works in a black comedy, yet Patty and Bob absolutely shine amongst them. They cannot help but continue to get into trouble, and their antics drive the narrative forward. What I also like about Insatiable however is that the plot clearly impacts on the character’s own psyches as well – in many ways making them even worse versions of themselves. Whilst I don’t really like any of these characters, I absolutely love watching them, especially when they are at their worst. And to be honest, you can’t help but root for the revenge that is leveled at their enemies.

In a weird kind of way, considering how ridiculous and heightened these characters are, they feel real and compelling because they are constantly changing and influenced by the people and events surrounding them. I actually really enjoyed Insatiable, and was disappointed to discover it was canceled after season 2.

#insatiable #insatiable tv #insatiable netflix #debby ryan #dallas roberts #alyssa milano #tv review

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pure-ablution · 1 month

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You mentioned the piles of Hermes boxes. Are they real, or should we not take that seriously either?

Another dose of reality coming right up. You girls really are gluttons for it 😉

First up, I’m not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. If you’re old enough to use Tumblr, you’re old enough to figure that out for yourself. I’m not going to stand here as just another blogger for people to mindlessly follow and believe without thinking for themselves—what I write on this blog are my own opinions, derived from my own life experiences. I’m sure that you and I didn’t have the same life, so why should we share the same views on every last thing? Have a little introspection and consider your own thoughts on the matter.

Next, onto the topic at hand.

These photos might not be the blogger’s own—they may be taken from another blog, Pinterest, or anywhere else on the internet. Maybe she’s using these photos for a moodboard or inspiration post, or maybe she’s directly insinuating that the pictures are hers.

These photos may be the blogger’s own, but the actual subject of the photo (piles of Hermès boxes, a string of Van Cleef bracelets) might belong to someone else. Perhaps she snapped a picture of her rich friend’s birthday haul and is claiming it as her own.

These photos may be staged, or they might feature fakes. You can buy empty (authentic) luxury branded boxes on eBay and Vinted pretty cheaply, and we’ve already gone over replicas. How do you know that the subject of the photograph is actually as it appears to be?

Perhaps at the end of the day, the blogger really did receive a huge pile of Hermès or whatever. Fine, let’s suspend our disbelief for a second. Has she mentioned the context in which she received it? Maybe she’s actually the child of very rich and doting parents, maybe this was a one-off spending spree after she got her bonus, or maybe this is a gift from her partner or sugar daddy. It’s possible for one of these stories to be true, and for the story told to be entirely another.

Okay, let’s say, for the sake of argument, that she’s really telling the honest-to-god-truth. It doesn’t change the fact that she’s bragging to excess—this is no “omg, I got the earrings I’ve always dreamt about!” post; she’s acting all nonchalant, like this is an everyday kind of thing for her. She doesn’t want her followers to share her joy, she wants them to feel jealous. She wants to be aspired to. Do you want to follow a girl so narcissistic that she writes purely for her followers to aspire to be her?

In any one of these cases, I don’t think anything good about those kinds of posts. At worst, they’re glamorising their life in a way that is, in my opinion, irresponsible. At best, they’re making affirmation moodboards and conveniently leaving out the credit for the photos.

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with following girls who consistently post photos of luxury goods—though materialism can and will destroy your life—but there’s a reason that my blog is incredibly dense with text and homemade charts, and that reason is that I want to help others. I want to make posts that I’m proud of, that are based in truth and my personal values, and that I feel will benefit my readers. I’m not trying to claim that this makes me any kind of objectively better blogger than anyone else, either. Many people won’t appreciate my long posts, or agree with my views; to them, I’d be a terrible blogger! But I can’t post to please everyone, and from a subjective point of view, I personally value honest and helpful content—so that’s what I try to provide.

#ask-beauty

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is-this-really--life · 4 months

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"I think a major part of my generation’s declining mental health is growing up in a culture that has lost the language of defiance. For Gen Z, it has become almost offensive to suggest someone can overcome their struggles. We are inundated with stories of defeat and disadvantage, but so few of defiance.

What happened to overcoming the odds? Defying expectations? Rising above it? Now we obsess over barriers—we talk endlessly about what diagnoses we have, what discrimination we face, the obstacles in our way. We wrestle over who has it worse.

A telling example of this is how Gen Z talks about mental health online. We know by now that young people are not only identifying more and more with their mental illnesses, but glamorising them like never before. “Hot Girls Have ADHD”, apparently! We have fun flavours of autism! You’re not neurodivergent anymore; you’re #neurospicy!

But it’s gone further. We aren’t just identifying with and glamorising our mental illnesses. Now we seem to be competing over who is more mentally ill. Those without autism and ADHD are said to enjoy “neurotypical privilege”. Then there’s competition within mental health communities. Oh you struggle with your gender identity? Well try struggling with mental illness and gender identity issues, like those who are “autigender” or “neuroqueer”! You’re autistic and that’s hard? Have you tried being an autistic person of colour? Sure, you have ADHD, but have you considered how much worse it is to be neurodivergent without pretty privilege, or someone who isn’t “neurotypical passing”? And don’t you dare say you have Asperger’s and still succeed. Sounds like “aspie supremacy”.

I’m not blaming Gen Z. Of course we compete over who can cope the least. We grew up in a world with every cultural, commercial and technological incentive to do so. A billion-dollar mental health industry pushes us to pathologise normal negative emotions. Universities extend our adolescence and treat us like children. Consumer capitalism indulges childlike dependencies. Social media platforms trap us in feedback loops that become self-fulfilling. Virtual reality and AI technologies allow us to avoid risk and discomfort like never before in history. Meanwhile we have a progressive movement that sees strength and stoicism and confuses it for privilege, that takes tough love and calls it stigma, that promotes hyper-vigilant parenting and pretends it’s love. And so if you’re a 14 year-old who does struggle or is disadvantaged in some way, of course you want to capitalise on it. “When you reward victimhood, weakness and suffering with praise and attention, you get more of all three,” Konstantin once told me. “Incentives are everything.”

This is not to say that Gen Z aren’t suffering. We are in a mental health crisis; the modern world is chaotic and confusing. But a major part of this crisis, I think, is our loss of resilience. Yes, we have all these comforts and conveniences—but we also have a constant cultural message that we aren’t capable. Yes we have it materially easier in many ways—but it’s harder to develop resilience when you were raised on screens, without play and risk and danger. And I think the trouble with growing up in a world of incredible technologies and instant gratification is you do, inevitably, end up feeling entitled to a life without friction and discomfort. You expect the world to bend for you; to relieve you of the burden of being human. We demand the world makes us comfortable and call it discrimination or a diagnosis when it doesn’t.

To parents and older generations, please: stop incentivising this. You can be compassionate toward young people struggling with the pace and demands of the modern world without immediately diagnosing them or affirming their every anxiety. Without coddling or infantilising. Without denying them the chance to see what they can do. The message Gen Z is receiving from every corner of culture is that we are not capable. That it’s okay not to be capable. We have to hear something different. We must be told we can be more.

Because a culture that rewards victimhood is not compassionate. It’s cruel. Compassion is not rewarding suffering until it slides into self-indulgence. Compassion is not belittling Gen Z until we lose belief in ourselves. Compassion is recognising that previous generations got through war and poverty and deprivation and came out stronger—and we are capable of the same.

And to Gen Z: these might be good incentives in the short-term. You might get attention on TikTok and get out of doing hard things—but you won’t grow. The more we depend on and define ourselves by our diagnoses, the less resilient we will be, the more we will need to rely on them. Of course I’m not talking to those with severe mental illnesses. But I am talking to those of us being tempted to label our laziness as “ADHD executive dysfunction”, to hoard and hang onto our every painful experience, to compete over who has the most difficult collection of disadvantages. I’m saying that when you are 25 years old and too scared to talk on the phone and telling yourself it’s social anxiety disorder, you are doing yourself a disservice.

Even if it’s true! Maybe you do have it worse than someone else. Maybe making a phone call is harder for you. Maybe you are neurodivergent or do have an anxiety disorder or did face childhood trauma. But when someone tells you that you can overcome these things, or that you can handle them with grace and dignity and become stronger, they are not necessarily saying they aren’t real. They might be real. But you might also be more resilient than you realise.

Life is hard, for everyone. Nobody gets through it without cruelty and injustice and hurt and illness and rejection. It doesn’t matter who you are, or what privileges you have, life is hard. But one thing is for sure: we will make it a lot harder with all this self-pity.

And here’s the truth: there will be something in your life one day that brings you to your knees. That floors you. And you can either stay down or get up. You can be someone who complains and pities themselves, and insists that their pain is more important than everyone else’s. Or you can be someone who does have a challenging diagnosis or was dealt a bad hand and still overcame the odds. Who somehow held it together. Who managed to serve other people. Who conjured up some strength from God knows where. Who did suffer and still demanded more of themselves. Forget earning the respect of older generations. This is about earning respect for yourself.

Or we could continue as we are. Our culture can go on pretending that 20 year-olds are children, funnelling them endless empty mantras like it’s okay not to be okay without any caveat to pull themselves together at some point, and indulging whatever labels we invent and depend on. Keep calling that compassion, if you want. Meanwhile members of Gen Z can take offence when told they can overcome their struggles, and remain feeling powerless as a result.

I’m done with that. Let’s bring back the language of defiance. All of us. Older generations can sympathise with the struggles unique to Gen Z, but then talk about overcoming them. Talk about what’s next. They can expect their children to become capable adults, trust them to try and to fail, and refuse to comply with a culture that insists they are weak. This is not about ridiculing or punishing vulnerability—it’s about not rewarding victimhood. Not rewarding it in our children. Not indulging it in ourselves.

If we do this, things will change. Gen Z will still face challenges, perverse incentives will persist, but we can see ourselves as more capable. We will learn that we can overcome the odds. That we can surprise ourselves. That we can each become someone who says yes, this world did its best to break me but look: I’m still standing.

Let’s bring that attitude back. And start defying anyone who tell us otherwise."

-Stop Rewarding Victimhood and Bring Back Defiance! by Freya India

#substack #Freya India #resilience #mp

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