#I don't expect anything good for them but that's not why I'm watching this junk anyway lol

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Gray 29

First / Previous / Next

Fen and Zhe went back up to the command deck to watch the approach. Northern placed the view out of some forward cameras on the screen and what struck Fen the first time she saw it was just how ramshackle the station was. It appeared to be made out of more than a dozen old starship hulls.

"Is that.. made out of junk starships?"

"It appears that way Fen, but I'm not sure if they're junk or not. I can see a lot of reactors when I scan for emissions. It could be that they're just all connected together and can break apart when threatened." Northern sounded fascinated. "It's a good idea, really. If you're worried about some administrative forces kicking you out, you just break up your station and link away to somewhere else. Fen, Zhe? This is going to be a while. I was just told we have to wait for a place for us to park. Why don't you two go get some rest. I'll wake you if anything comes up."

Back in her room, Fen lays on the bed. It's large and cold and smells unfamiliar. The sheets are wrong, the light in the room is wrong, the mattress is wrong, the whole place feels wrong. She had been doing well enough until she talked to Zhe about Ma-ren and she feels alone in the bed all over again. Tossing and turning, Fen struggles to sleep. Finally sleep comes.

Fen dreams.

She's sitting on a large, seat, a throne really at the top of what could only be described as an... arena. Every single seat is filled with people who are there to see her. She can feel their excitement radiate off. They aren't coerced, they aren't forced, they are all there willingly.

To see her.

Or are they?

She holds out her hand for silence, only it's not her hand. The skin tone is wrong, lighter. She spreads her arms wide to welcome the crowd, but the length feels wrong. Glancing down quickly, she sees that she's shorter than she expected, even with the high heels. High heels? Fen hates wearing heels; they're so wobbly. Her body isn't quite right either, she feels top heavy. The crowd is so far away, that they haven't noticed anything yet, but the people next to her have. One of them, a women, about her size with a kind face looks over, her brow furrowed in concern. Fen feels an overwhelming desire to comfort her, let her know everything is all right, even though it clearly isn't. "I'm fine." she whispers out of the corner of her mouth. "Just jitters or something."

The other women nods very slightly and turns back to the crowd, not convinced, but unwilling to disturb the ceremony.

"People of the Reach! I come before you to tell you of news. Our battles go well, and we have captured the inner planets! Venus, Luna and the LEO principalities have all agreed to a peace plan." Cheers and shouts of praise. She basks in their love, buoyed by their positivity. "I myself will be departing for the attack on Earth. I will personally lead the charge. Soon, I shall return to you with the exciting news of our victory!" More cheering. "Until then, I ask for your patience and understanding, and I ask for more volunteers. We have three more Super Dreadnoughts that have been completed, and they need crews. Please, come to the recruitment office and sign up. Everyone who crews my ships will be eligible for relocation to any planet, station, starbase, and orbital of their choosing after our victory."

She stands during the cheering and applause at this last announcement, and concentrates. Her wings, made of gossamer, focused, golden light spread meters wide. Her crown, made of the same light flares in the arena, visible to everyone. Through the cheering and chanting of her name, she turns, leaves the dias and her wings and crown fade into an afterimage on everyone's eyes.

Behind the dias, a hidden door opens, and she ducks through, with the two people - including the woman from before - on either side.

"Now that we're out of the crowd, what was that? You looked like you were going to throw up." She sounds worried.

"Yeah, I saw you wobble. You looked down at your shoes and blanched." The other one, a middle aged man chimes in. He is tall and handsome, with dark brown skin and a coal black beard, flecked with gray.

"I'm fine, I'm... fine." She sounds unsure even as she says it. "I just had a strange feeling of being not myself. It's passed now. She turned towards the woman. Do you have the report of the developments on Luna?"

"Yes, Empress. Luna is pacified. Your military has cleared you for a visit to the people as soon as you enter the system. They recommend that you show up, give a speech, do a quick meet-and-greet with the citizens, and then continue on to Earth. Myself, Omar and a small guard will accompany you."

"Thank you Ava. I need a coffee, and then we can depart."

Fen awoke with a start, dripping with sweat. She was laying in bed, all of her sheets and blankets a tangle. There was a soft chime that was repeating in the room. "Yes?"

"We're going to dock in a couple hours Fen. I figured you would want to shower and change."

"Thanks Northern. How long has it been?"

"About nine hours. I let you sleep a full cycle; you seemed like you needed it."

Fen sits up. "Okay Northern. I'll be up in a few."

Fen gets up and pads to the bathroom. Being the captain, she does have a larger suite than average, and it has its own bathroom. As the door behind her shuts, she does not notice the sheets and blankets are covered in a very slight layer of dust, arranged like wings, centering on where she slept.

****

The docking goes without a hitch. They are brought inside the cargo module of a massive starship on the outer edge of the 'station' and are directed to a pad near the door. They land, and as the ship powers down, Northern walks into the command deck, shaking her hair with her hands and making a face. "My mouth tastes like pennies. I hate this." She puts her hands on her hips and faces Fen. "You're going to find us enough crew - or another AI - to do this, right?"

"Yes Northern. We'll find a crew. I can't thank you enough for this, I realize that its... distasteful for you."

Northern smirks. "I see what you did there. I'll have you know that puns always work on me." She nods at Zhe. "Come on. Shall we go meet your family?"

Zhe nods and stands, but her ears are flat, and she's trying to shrink down into her clothes. "O-okay Northern, Fen. Let's go."

"Hold up a moment." Fen turns to Zhe. "Are you going to be all right with this?"

Zhe stands just a little straighter. "Yes, I'll be all right Fen. You're my captain now. It's just that my family was... disappointed when I got the job with the Discoverers and went to Minaren."

"They're disappointed you went straight?" Northern's incredulity is plain on her face.

Zhe's tail swishes and she nods. "You'll see when you meet them."

The dock's air is cold and thin, but breathable. The three of them exit the ship and head towards the airlock at the other end. They walk past scores of K'laxi and other peoples tending the ships that are docked. There are easily more than a dozen in this dock alone. Fen recognizes K'laxi, Gren, and even some Sefigan designs. They step into the airlock and it closes behind them. "So, you three are the ones ballsy enough to come here in a Imperial Frigate and sing the bawdiest K'laxi drinking song known in order to get in?" The voice is low and gruff. "We've scanned your ship, it's empty, so we know you're not hiding anyone, and you don't walk like spies, though you have the air of a Discoverer about you, K'laxi." The voice pauses a moment. "Still, we'll let you in. Stay nice and don't cause trouble."

The other airlock door opens, and the air is hot and wet. The K'laxi homeworld is smaller and colder than Earth, so Fen expected the atmosphere settings to be similar here but if there was such a thing as an opposite to K'laxi weather, this was it. The lights were dark and yellow and the gravity was light. Fen kept feeling like she was about to trip. A short K'laxi, grey around the muzzle, with a human sized battle rifle on his back waves and bounds - literally bounds - over. "Welcome! Welcome to The Heap."

Northern grins. "The Heap because it's a heap of starships?"

He nods quickly, the earrings on his large ears jangling slowly in the low gravity. "Exactly so. What are you here for? Trade? Business? Or just to lie low from the Imps since you clearly stole their frigate?"

Fen crosses her arms and harrumphs. "I'll have you know I own that frigate free and clear. You can scan it anywhere and it'll show up under my name."

He winks - a decidedly human gesture. "Sure it does, Friend. I know hackers too. So? What's up?"

Zhe sighs. "Hi there Uncle Rev. Is Hemmi here?"

Rev leans around Northern and gasps. "Little Zhe! You came back! You finally realized that the government yolk was strangling your ability to pull for yourself!" He grabbed her and hugged her mightily and spun her around. "Hemmi isn't here now, but he's in-system. I'll get a beacon out to him right away. He'll want to know the news. Why didn't you tell us you were aboard? He would have stayed for the welcome."

"I didn't want to be a burden..." Zhe begins.

"Nonsense! I will not hear of it." Rev looks over at Northern and Fen. "Shacking up with two humans? My my! You're doing all right for yourself. I knew you couldn't keep your true self down."

"Uncle Rev!" Zhe's fur ripples as she blushes. "Northern and Fen are friends only. Fen is my captain."

"Well then I need to extend our thanks," Rev bends low and Fen sees that his tail is half gone. "Have you had a chance to witness Zhe in combat yet? She is unparalleled with a Gren soar-kinfe." He puts his arm around Northern and Fen and gives them a small squeeze and Northern glares. "Did you know she once took out three Sefigan warriors who thought they could bounce out of here without paying? Three! She was barely sixteen at the time. Her parents were so proud. They let her keep the entire bounty. I think that's how she paid her passage to Minaren."

Northern turns her head slowly to Zhe as her fur won't stop rippling. "A soar-knife? They're hard to use even in light gravity. in Human standard they take years of practice to wield safely."

"Well when you're a kid on a pirate station you get bored and pick stuff up." Zhe mumbles.

"So modest!" Rev squeezes their hips again and Northern smacks his arm off. "Come on! Let's go eat while we wait for Hemmi to come back.

[tainted-by-skeletons]

Reader X Affection-phobe Sans (One Shot)

I've been dating my neighbor Sans for almost a week now. He's never seemed interested in being intimate with me, other than the fact that he's dating someone like me in the first place. I've been wanting to get physical with him but the most I can get out of him are sweet little pecks when nobody is looking. I thought that he was just uncomfortable with PDA so I had Papyrus stay the night somewhere else. And yet, Sans insisted on sleeping on his couch that night. So no luck there. Some days I can't hold myself back.

“Sans.”

“Yeah Babe?”

“Come kiss meee~” I said one day while we were sitting on the couch.

“Um! Er… it's uhh- it's awkward when you ask like that you know.”

I frowned at him.

“Then just close your eyes okay?”

Sans looked away for a moment, then looked back at me and closed his eyes tight like he was waiting to be slapped.

“Hey! Don't do that! You look like you're expecting me to hit you!”

Sans sighed.

“You know… you've got some bad taste.”

“What?! Where is that coming from?”

“Heheh. I really like you but. Out of all the monsters ya could have gone after, why me? I'm like, the only person who can't give you what ya want.”

“It's not like that at all. I don't know how to explain it but… ever since I met you I've always been really… curious about you. I guess. It's like, I don't know… there's just something I want to figure out about you.”

“So what's gonna happen when ya do figure it out?”

“I have a feeling there's always gonna be something to be curious about. I just… I want to always find out more about you.”

Sans turned away from me again. He had a strange half smile on his blushing face.

“I have an idea. Meet me in your room after dinner.”

“Uh… mmmokay. When did we decide you're staying for dinner?”

“Now.”

“Oh boy.”

I snuggled up to Sans and was happy to receive an awkward arm around my shoulder. We watched TV for a bit longer before Sans made us both hotdogs for dinner.

“It's a good thing you're not picky.”

“Picky would not be your problem. You don't know this but I come over for dinner rarely because I can't handle eating all the junk food you do.”

“It's a good life.”

“Hahaha jerk.”

We finished dinner and as always, Sans took my dishes before I could even consider washing them.

“You uhhh. Wanted to do something. Right?”

“Yup! I'm gonna go get ready.” I said before bolting up the stairs, giggling along the way.

When I went inside Sans’ room, I took off my usual clothes and put on a skirt I left at his place, one of his T-shirts, and one of his hoodies. I took off only one sock and found a shoelace to use as a sort of headband. Then I turned off the lights. With Sans’ blackout curtains, it made the room completely dark when the lights were off.

“Saaaans! You can come up now!”

Not long later I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and then towards the room.

“Don't turn on the light.”

“What?”

Sans opened the door and I hid behind it.

“Don't turn on the light. We're going to play a game.”

“Uhhh. 'kay.”

“First try to find me.”

“Heheh. Alright.”

Sans walked around the room blindly with his hands held out in front of him. Eventually I felt his shoulder brush against my arm.

“I'm right here.”

“Yeah I can hear ya grinning.”

“Hehehehehe~”

Sans patted my chest once or twice before he realized what he touched and jumped back.

“Sorry!”

“It's okay! Really. You're gonna have to touch me to play the game.”

“Uhhh. What are we doing?”

“You're going to guess what I'm wearing just by touch!”

“Hmmm… You're not gonna jump my bones or anything right?”

“Hahaha! No! Come on! Humor me.”

“Ahhh… alright.”

To make it easier on himself, Sans started with my feet.

“Heheh. Are ya only wearing one sock?”

“Yup! You got it! What are you…”

The one type of affection Sans never hesitated to give was…

“Ah! Hahahaha hey stop!”

Tickling.

“Heheh. Alright alright.”

Sans slid a hand up my leg. I gasped quietly as my skin felt a tingle rise up my body.

“Mn. Is this your skirt?”

“Mnhm.”

I heard Sans’ knees pop as he rose up to stand. He stumbled a little and grabbed my hips hard. His head fell into my neck. I was able to keep us upright, thankfully. Sans was very light. Sans stepped in between my legs and moved his hands up to my waist to stand again.

“Sorry…” He whispered into my neck.

“Y…You're okay.”

Hands still pressed against my waist, Sans stood completely still for a moment. Still other than the subtle shaking.

“Why are you so scared of affection?”

“I'm not!-*sigh* I have no idea. Okay?”

I took his hands in mine.

“I'm not going to be disappointed.”

Sans was silent. He let our hands fall and let go. I didn't know what he was going to do. So I was very surprised when I felt firm hands hold around my waist. Then they let go as Sans let out a soft,

“Hm.”

And he felt around the soft fluff on his signature hooded jacket.

“Hey… are you wearing my jacket?” Sans' voice was a little quieter than usual.

“Yeah. There's other stuff too.”

Sans went back to my waist again and rubbed the shirt fabric in his fingers.

“Is this my shirt too?”

“Yeah. You're good at this game.”

“Heheh. It's not hard. Did I get everything?”

“Nope. There's still one thing you haven't even felt yet.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Sans slowly moved his hands up my torso, pressing into my ribs. I wasn't surprised he was curious about them. Sans moved his hands to the front before he reached my neck, barely grazing over my breasts. I had to hold in a gasp to avoid him getting worried. Sans felt around my bare neck until he was sure he couldn't find anything. Then he finally moved up to my head.

“What’s this? A ribbon?”

“No.”

“Is it… a jacket string?”

“No. Don't worry. I wouldn't take out your jacket string.”

Sans played with my hair with his other hand while he guessed. It took him a while.

“Haha. It's a shoelace?”

“Yup!”

“You weirdo.”

“Hehehehe!~”

“Heheh.”

To my surprise, Sans put his hands on my waist again. Eager for closeness, I stepped towards him carefully.

“You know… I can actually see your eyes.”

“Yeah? The little white lights?”

“Yeah. I didn't know they could actually glow in the dark. Er… hehe I mean like. I didn't think they were really… lights! You know?”

“Hmhm~ yup. They glow. Do they creep you out?”

“I feel like they should… but they don't. I like seeing you… knowing you're here.”

Slowly, the lights disappeared. I heard a soft rustle as something pressed against my lips. I closed my eyes and kissed Sans. This wasn't his usual peck. He didn't immediately pull away like usual. I could feel the warmth of his face and I could feel how his mouth was just a little bit open. As if he was communicating that I could explore if I wanted. So I did. I curiously poked his bottom lip with my tongue.

“Mn…” A soft almost worried sound escaped Sans.

But his hands gripped my waist tighter and he pulled me into him. He inhaled long and hard. Like he was getting ready to hold his breath for however long he needed to. By instinct, we tilted our heads and pressed into each other. Kissing so deeply felt amazing. There's something I love about intimacy. When you feel like your body is melting into the other person's to become one for a moment.

“Mmmmmn~”

I wrapped my hands around Sans’ neck as he softly nipped my bottom lip. I playfully licked the side of his mouth in response. Then he finally decided to start really exploring. Slowly, Sans' tongue entered my mouth like a snake coming out of his hiding place after the longest sleep. I was so excited I closed my lips around his tongue and sucked on it. Begging for more contact. More intimacy.

“Mmmnn!”

Sans' moan reverberated against my lips and left them feeling tingly. Suddenly he grabbed my waist and back and held me tight against him as his tongue reached deeper into me. Our heads moved up and down in sync. We twisted and swapped positions in order to explore every part of the other. Biting, sucking, licking. Until we ran out of breath.

“Haaah~” I sighed.

“Can we…” Sans started. “Play this game again sometime?”

[kingboohoo37]

KBH RANDOM RANT

I'M BACK... at least I try to post more often. Streams will also come more regularly (surely...).

I'm slowly getting back to work so my time is still very limited. I thought this was a good time to bring back my random rants about fandoms since I just revisited an old classic from my childhood.

YEP we're talking about Kim Possible one of the most ludicrous fictional universes I've ever seen... In a good way!

First up: This show is FUDGING 22 YEARS OLD THIS YEAR... I'm really getting old...

The funny part about that is it was made during the peak of the 2000s... and you really notice that. The language that most teenagers use in this show is so stereotypical for that time it feels so nostalgic even watching it XD

Anyway, let's get the obvious out of the way. I know this is supposed to be a kids cartoon and I know that I'm an adult man but that doesn't stop me from watching it.

So, why is this show so great?

Good question! Its primary charm probably comes from its simple comedic attitude of telling a story.

The characters are so ridiculous that you should never be able to take this show seriously simply because most of their actions or the situations around them don't even make sense. This show just requires you to take in its vibe and go with the flow. I mean... a teenager knowing 16 forms of Kung Fu and saving the world on any given occasion is nothing that can possibly make sense. Don't forget: "Anything's possible for a Possible!"

Let's get into the characters:

Kim is your basic teenage girl, and she's here to save the world. You can't stop her 'cause...

Okay I'll stop xD

Apart from her being an ass-kicking girl boss, her main character traits are kinda the things you expect from a main character. She saves the world out of sheer will to stick to her morals. In short: she wants to help people. That obviously doesn't always work out and she sometimes ends up judging people by what they are instead of who they are. On top of that, she gets jealous easily.

BUT she is brave, smart, and makes usually good choices in the heat of the moment (except when it comes to love xD), and is otherwise very mature for her age.

Well... the opening song didn't lie. She really is your basic teenage girl. That doesn't mean she isn't cool xD

Well, obviously I can't end it without talking about the man and his very smart and hungry naked little friend.

What makes this show so funny is well... its ability to deliver comedy simply by a character existing and Ron Stoppable plays a big part in that.

He is pretty much a normal guy who just happens to be Kim's childhood friend and later somehow steals her heart xD

He is an absolute doofus. He is silly and rarely takes anything seriously. He is also lazy and loves his favorite junk food joint Bueno Nacho.

Despite all that he still cares for his friends, his naked mole rat Rufus, and usually learns a very important lesson after an episode.

He accompanies Kim on pretty much every mission and is usually more of a hindrance than a help. Despite all that Kim still loves him in her own way. And he also saves the day a couple of times, so it's not like he is a complete slob.

Rufus is just the cherry on top. Both of these guys are hilarious and I was honestly surprised by how much I laughed watching this show.

I could go on and on but I'm gonna try to finish up this post here before it gets too long xD

Even though every episode has kind of a similar structure, it never gets boring. The villains, the side characters... all of them add something very unique to the table. You just throw some characters together and boom the story kind of writes itself XD

Season 4 was my absolute favorite part of the show since guess what ... that was when Kim and Ron started dating and BOY DO THEY MAKE A CUTE COUPLE.

Ahem... anyways. I do not regret watching all 87 episodes in the last 2-3 weeks. If you're looking for a comfortable. goofy and funny way to escape reality for a moment I can only recommend this old classic.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

The Brother Trap

Fandom: DC Comics, Flashfam

Summary: Owen wants to connect with his half-brothers for the first time. Luckily for him, they all go to the same university. Will bad blood between twins keep Owen from the family of his dreams, or is he the missing piece they've always needed?

Chapters: 4/?

Characters: Owen Mercer, Axel Walker, Thad Thawne, Bart Allen, Meloni Thawne, Deborah Morgna, Preston Lindsay, President Thaddeus Thawne Mention

Relationships: Owen Mercer/Axel Walker, Thad Thawne/Deborah Morgna, PrestonBart

Additional Tags: POV Third Person, College AU, Angst and Fluff, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, No Powers AU

Chapter Four: Fire and Ice

Bart got to the dorm late in the afternoon and curled up in bed. Thad came in shortly after him and turned the tv on. "Turn it down," Bart muttered as he covered his head with a pillow.

Thad turned the tv down and looked over at Bart. "Can you clean your side of the room later?" Thad asked as he turned back to the tv. Bart groaned. "I'm just saying. Three people live in this room... And the majority of the clutter comes from you."

Bart got up and shoved his comic books under their roommate's bed. Thad clenched his fists. "That is not what I meant, and you know it," Thad replied. He wanted to yell, but he refused to be the one to start the argument this time. Bart pinched the bridge of his nose.

Preston entered the room and stared at them. "Please don't start fighting. I was hoping to get home and eat while you guys were still in a good mood," Preston mumbled.

"I told Bart he can't push his junk under your bed. He's cleaning his side of the room tonight," Thad replied. Preston started helping Bart clean up to keep the peace. "Bart, you can't keep expecting Preston to help you all the time."

Preston excused himself and left the room to go upstairs until things blew over. "I don't get why you have to be such a nag all the time," Bart mumbled.

"Better a nag than a waste of space," Thad replied. He figured he'd wounded Bart badly enough to end the argument before it could start. They both knew how to hurt each other, and they never missed an opportunity to do so.

Bart sucked his teeth and closed his eyes before turning to face the back of Thad's head. If they were kids, Bart would have hit him. But they weren't kids, not anymore. "This is why no one wants to be around you, you know?" Bart snapped back.

"And people just love sticking around for you, huh?" Thad raised his voice slightly.

"As opposed to being alone all the time?" Bart responded. By that point, they'd both wounded the other to silence. Neither one had anything else to say.

Bart finished cleaning his side of the room, and Thad turned the tv down. Thad lay on his stomach on the couch while Bart climbed back up to his bed. Bart curled up and watched the tv from his bed. They both wanted to apologize, but neither one knew how.

Preston came back a few hours later and sat on his bed. "I brought home ice cream this morning... I forgot to mention it earlier," Preston whispered.

"What flavor?" both twins mumbled. They were unphased by speaking the same phrase simultaneously.

"Butterfinger, pistachio, and birthday cake," Preston answered gently, "Everybody's favorites."

"Thanks, Preston," Thad whispered.

"Yeah, thank you," Bart chimed in. Preston fell asleep a little while after that. Bart looked over the side of his bunk and sighed. "Hey, Thad?"

"Yeah, Bart?" Thad whispered back.

"Would it be weird if Mom started dating someone?" Bart questioned. Thad sat up and looked at Bart.

"Is Mom dating somebody?" Thad whispered. Bart shrugged. "I mean, it wouldn't be weird if she did..."

"I told her the same thing," Bart chuckled, "Do you think Mom gets lonely?"

"I think maybe she does sometimes," Thad replied. They didn't apologize, but they talked about their mom for a while. It made them both feel better long enough to fall asleep.

Bart never slept through the night, though. He'd get up and eat or pace around the room until he grew bored enough to sleep again. Thad would sometimes wake up and watch Bart wander around. He'd never tell Bart, but he slept better when they shared a room. It felt like someone was keeping watch over him when Bart was up and about. Bart sat on the couch eating cold pizza and working on his laptop. Thad woke up from a nightmare and watched Bart's face in the dim light, and he seemed stressed about something. "What're you working on?" Thad whispered. Bart jumped in his seat and turned to Thad.

"Huh?" Bart asked softly.

"What are you working on?" Thad asked a second time.

Bart closed his laptop and set it aside. "Something for class... What are you doing up?" Bart questioned.

Thad wanted to tell Bart about his nightmare. He always wanted to talk to Bart about his nightmares, but he couldn't move himself to do it. They weren't close enough to talk about the things that mattered. "Why was Owen looking for you at that party? Why did he know your name?" Thad changed the subject.

Bart shrugged. "He said he saw me at a meet... But when he saw me at the gym, he thought I was you," he chuckled in reply. "What do you think of him?"

"He's okay. I'm supposed to play rugby with some of his friends this week, but I'm not really sure I get the sport," Thad whispered.

"Then why'd you say you'd go?" Bart questioned. He turned his body to face Thad's bed and looked him in his eyes. It always felt weird to Bart. Looking at Thad felt like looking into a mirror sometimes; it made his skin crawl.

Thad didn't like it much either, but it wasn't the similarity that bothered him. It was the difference. Bart always looked at everyone with wonder in his eyes, but he always looked at Thad like a bug under a microscope. It made him squirm. "I dunno... I guess I just wanted to hang out with him again. I thought if I told him that I didn't know what that was that he'd—."

"I'll show you the ropes," Bart interrupted. Thad smiled but only for a brief moment.

"What's the catch?" Thad questioned.

"I wanna race you tomorrow morning," Bart replied. Thad nodded seriously.

Thad hadn't raced Bart since they were kids. He turned over in bed and faced the wall. Thad didn't get the same rush that Bart got from running. He felt pressure, a crushing weight on his chest and he wanted to hate Bart for it. He wanted to hate Bart so much, but he just couldn't.

[babeczka415]

Eternal Love

Chapter 2

It's been a week since that morning I came home. It's been seven days and who knows how many hours since he left me. My heart aches in ways I can't even describe. Jessy has stopped by making sure I eat and cleaning up. She finally got me to talk the other night and we drowned ourselves in wine and ice cream while watching horror movies. I haven't told Dan yet and I know that conversation was coming tonight as it was the night he and Jessy always came around to have fun.

I manage to get out of bed and move to the couch with my laptop. I have never been more grateful for this job than I am now. It allows me to work from home and as long as I tell my boss in advance no video chats. I just told him I was sick but still able to work. Eventually I know that isn't going to work but it's been a blessing this week.

I keep checking my phone all day hoping for something from him. Something to explain but still nothing. Instead I have a text from Lilly, I curse her under my breath. She only wants to talk to see how he is.

Lilly: MC, everything okay? We haven't heard from him or you.

MC: No everything isn't okay and please stop talking to me only to find out how he is. He left me a week ago and told me to move on.

MC: I'm gonna say you and Hannah should do the same thing and just forget him!

I sign off just as fast as I send that message and I'm glad it's the end of the day. I head into the kitchen and grab the Jack Daniels and take a drink from the bottle. It burns going down but at least it's a feeling. I hear the door unlock as Jessy has a key. 

"I don't know why you didn't knock like we always do" Dan states.

I sigh, I hope she doesn't tell him why. I turn around with the bottle still in my hand and I see them in the doorway.

"Hey don't start the fun without me" Dan laughs.

I smile the best I can and he instantly knows something is wrong.

"Still nothing?" My red haired best friend asks and I shake my head while taking another drink.

"What is going on?" Asks Dan.

"Jake is gone," I say, looking away from him. He wraps his arms around me. He's finally started walking again after the accident and I just cry into his chest.

"We will make you forget all about him," Dan says, lifting my head up. I lean against him not being able to say anything. 

I was expecting an 'I told you he was bad news' or something along those lines from Dan but he instantly goes into best friend mode.

Jessy grabs out all the junk food she has brought over and we make a table top on the bar between that and different alcohol. These two know exactly what I need after having my heartbroken by the man I thought was my forever. 

We pile on the couch and throw in movies after movies. I remember taking a silly picture of us but I don't do anything with it.

Jakes POV:

It's been seven days and 16 hours since I left her. I never wanted to fall in love but she did it. She made me fall in love with her. 

Tonight I'm in an abandoned warehouse tracking my pursuers. Sleep has not been my friend in a while and this last week has been worse. Everytime I close my eyes I see her smile, her sleeping. I feel her curled up against me afraid to lose me.

You see when I told her my location I knew what was going to happen. I knew she wouldn't let go of me but I needed to see her and feel her touch and kisses one more time before I broke her heart. Those hazel eyes as she spun around were full of love and feeling safe.

I knew I could never be HER safe haven. I also know she would give up everything for me if I so much as hinted at it.

I couldn't bring her into this world, more than I already had. She needed to live her life normally, before she got dragged into finding Hannah and falling in love with me. She needs a normal future, one not on the constant run. I have no idea when I can give her that and I knew it from the start. 

You see she's the good girl, the girl every guy wants. I'm troubled, she knew that but still fell. It's the typical good girl who falls in love with the bad boy. What the normal story doesn't tell is how the bad boy fell in love with her, but just wanted to keep her safe.

I hear my phone go off and I look and it's Lilly. I hadn't reached out and I wasn't planning on going until I knew I was safe. I sigh as I open the location on MC. I have to make sure they aren't tracking her. She's at home like she has been since she entered back in. I could pull up her webcam but it would just break my heart. I do follow her social media but lately she hasn't been posting but I keep a watch.

I see a photo pop up, which is odd at the time. It's a photo of her, Jessica, and Daniel curled up on the couch with drinks. I read the caption and my heart breaks.

When your world is falling apart, you can't ask for more than best friends, Jack Daniels, and lots of junk food.

The photo looks odd then I realize it's taken at night and it's now the next morning… eight days since I saw her smile at me, even in her sleep.

I set Nymos up and lean back on the couch trying to catch some sleep hoping she doesn't haunt my dreams.

[x3kristax3]

Eternal Love

Chapter 2

It's been a week since that morning I came home. It's been seven days and who knows how many hours since he left me. My heart aches in ways I can't even describe. Jessy has stopped by making sure I eat and cleaning up. She finally got me to talk the other night and we drowned ourselves in wine and ice cream while watching horror movies. I haven't told Dan yet and I know that conversation was coming tonight as it was the night he and Jessy always came around to have fun.

I manage to get out of bed and move to the couch with my laptop. I have never been more grateful for this job than I am now. It allows me to work from home and as long as I tell my boss in advance no video chats. I just told him I was sick but still able to work. Eventually I know that isn't going to work but it's been a blessing this week.

I keep checking my phone all day hoping for something from him. Something to explain but still nothing. Instead I have a text from Lilly, I curse her under my breath. She only wants to talk to see how he is.

Lilly: MC, everything okay? We haven't heard from him or you.

MC: No everything isn't okay and please stop talking to me only to find out how he is. He left me a week ago and told me to move on.

MC: I'm gonna say you and Hannah should do the same thing and just forget him!

I sign off just as fast as I send that message and I'm glad it's the end of the day. I head into the kitchen and grab the Jack Daniels and take a drink from the bottle. It burns going down but at least it's a feeling. I hear the door unlock as Jessy has a key. 

"I don't know why you didn't knock like we always do" Dan states.

I sigh, I hope she doesn't tell him why. I turn around with the bottle still in my hand and I see them in the doorway.

"Hey don't start the fun without me" Dan laughs.

I smile the best I can and he instantly knows something is wrong.

"Still nothing?" My red haired best friend asks and I shake my head while taking another drink.

"What is going on?" Asks Dan.

"Jake is gone," I say, looking away from him. He wraps his arms around me. He's finally started walking again after the accident and I just cry into his chest.

"We will make you forget all about him," Dan says, lifting my head up. I lean against him not being able to say anything. 

I was expecting an 'I told you he was bad news' or something along those lines from Dan but he instantly goes into best friend mode.

Jessy grabs out all the junk food she has brought over and we make a table top on the bar between that and different alcohol. These two know exactly what I need after having my heartbroken by the man I thought was my forever. 

We pile on the couch and throw in movies after movies. I remember taking a silly picture of us but I don't do anything with it.

Jakes POV:

It's been seven days and 16 hours since I left her. I never wanted to fall in love but she did it. She made me fall in love with her. 

Tonight I'm in an abandoned warehouse tracking my pursuers. Sleep has not been my friend in a while and this last week has been worse. Everytime I close my eyes I see her smile, her sleeping. I feel her curled up against me afraid to lose me.

You see when I told her my location I knew what was going to happen. I knew she wouldn't let go of me but I needed to see her and feel her touch and kisses one more time before I broke her heart. Those hazel eyes as she spun around were full of love and feeling safe.

I knew I could never be HER safe haven. I also know she would give up everything for me if I so much as hinted at it.

I couldn't bring her into this world, more than I already had. She needed to live her life normally, before she got dragged into finding Hannah and falling in love with me. She needs a normal future, one not on the constant run. I have no idea when I can give her that and I knew it from the start. 

You see she's the good girl, the girl every guy wants. I'm troubled, she knew that but still fell. It's the typical good girl who falls in love with the bad boy. What the normal story doesn't tell is how the bad boy fell in love with her, but just wanted to keep her safe.

I hear my phone go off and I look and it's Lilly. I hadn't reached out and I wasn't planning on going until I knew I was safe. I sigh as I open the location on MC. I have to make sure they aren't tracking her. She's at home like she has been since she entered back in. I could pull up her webcam but it would just break my heart. I do follow her social media but lately she hasn't been posting but I keep a watch.

I see a photo pop up, which is odd at the time. It's a photo of her, Jessica, and Daniel curled up on the couch with drinks. I read the caption and my heart breaks.

When your world is falling apart, you can't ask for more than best friends, Jack Daniels, and lots of junk food.

The photo looks odd then I realize it's taken at night and it's now the next morning… eight days since I saw her smile at me, even in her sleep.

I set Nymos up and lean back on the couch trying to catch some sleep hoping she doesn't haunt my dreams.

[legolasghosty]

I know this is late but I would love to see "my mind is a dark place. You don't want to be there." for willex from the prompt list 💕

Hello! It's really not even that late, don't worry about it! That being said... this probably isn't as angsty as you want, but you were asking me so what did you expect? XD

Anyways, enjoy!

Alex reclined against the back of the couch, sighing in contentment as Willie rested his head on his shoulder. They'd finished watching What Happened to Monday almost an hour ago, but neither of them had tried to get up. They'd stayed on the couch, cuddling and chatting about nothing. Alex knew that he'd have to let Willie go home at some point, but just… not yet. It was too nice, too easy, to let go of sooner than absolutely necessary.

A part of him wanted to lean down and press his lips against Willie's, but… Willie probably didn't want him to. The last thing Alex wanted to do was ruin everything, and even though Willie kissed him all the time…

"Hey, Alex?" Willie's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Alex frowned a bit. Their tone sounded serious. "Yeah?" he responded.

"Why don't you ever kiss me?" Willie asked hesitantly. When Alex froze, not sure how to respond, Willie rambled on. "I mean, it seems like you like it when I kiss you, but… you never initiate it? And I don't want to overstep your boundaries or anything if you don't want to kiss, but sometimes it seems like you want to and you're holding yourself back? I don't know, maybe I'm just-"

Alex cut him off with a hand on his jaw. "Just… give me a second?" he said, offering a weak smile. "I wasn't expecting you to say that."

Willie nodded and rested their head on Alex's shoulder again to wait. Alex's mind raced, trying to come up with some way to describe his hesitation. He was aware of it, of course, one of the super fun parts of having anxiety was being incredibly aware of your own thoughts. And he’d literally been thinking about it a moment before Willie spoke. But putting it into words for someone else…

"I do want to," he started nervously. "I mean, I do really like kissing you, that isn't the problem, I promise." Willie nodded slowly but didn't say anything, letting him talk. "I guess… I feel like I shouldn't? As soon as I think about going to kiss you… there's a part of my brain that starts telling me I shouldn't, I guess?"

Alex bit his lip and slipped the silver ring off his left pointer finger to twirl between his fingers. It wasn’t as good of a stress release as one of his drumsticks, but it helped a bit. It was even better when Willie laid a hand on his thigh, palm up, and let Alex twine their fingers together.

“Take your time,” Willie murmured. “I just want to understand.”

“I guess some of it is probably still from how I grew up,” Alex admitted. “There’s still that voice that tells me I’m broken just for wanting to kiss someone that isn’t a girl. But I don’t think that’s the main thing.”

“I’m glad that isn’t holding you back so much,” Willie said honestly. 

The two of them had been friends long before they started dating, so he’d seen Alex go through a lot of the junk with his family surrounding his sexuality, as well as all the conditioning Alex had worked to undo in himself. 

“Me too,” Alex responded, squeezing Willie’s hand and giving them a soft smile before returning to the topic at hand. “I think the issue here is more… Not wanting stuff to hurt? I guess? Like, I don’t want to hurt you and kiss you when you don’t want it, or mess something up cause I don’t know what I’m doing-” He realized he was rambling and cut himself off. 

“I just get all in my head about it,” he finished after a moment. “Sorry, my brain is a pretty… dark place. You don’t really want to be in there…” He tried for a laugh to lighten the mood a bit, but it fell flat.

But Willie just looked up at him and smiled that sweet, safe smile that reminded Alex of warm hugs and hushed conversations and lying on their backs in the grass to stare at the stars. They shifted so they could look Alex right in the face and take both of his hands in their own.

“Alex, thank you for trusting me with this,” Willie started, capturing Alex in his dark eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alex responded immediately. He adored how Willie’s smile got a little wider when he said it.

“Do you want my advice, or do you just need me to listen or distract you?” Willie asked next.

“Advice, I think,” Alex said slowly. 

“Okay,” Willie hummed, nodding as he collected his thoughts. “First off, there’s nothing wrong with you for thinking this stuff, you got a bunch of lousy stuff from your folks, and you have anxiety. It’s okay to be having a hard time with stuff.”

Alex dipped his head in acknowledgment. He knew that, but it was still nice to hear.

“Second,” Willie continued, “I don’t think there is any situation where I wouldn’t be okay with you kissing me, unless I’m really overstimulated or something, in which case I always try to tell you. I know that me saying that doesn’t just make your brain shut up, but I promise it’s true. In case it wasn’t crystal clear, I love kissing you. And you do know what you’re doing, you do it all the time.”

Alex chuckled at that, remembering the sweet taste of Willie’s tongue when he’d kissed him during the movie as he processed his words.

“And third, you can ask, if you aren’t sure,” Willie pointed out. “I know it’s a bit awkward at first, but I don’t mind. So, if you wanted to kiss me, and you weren’t sure if I was okay with it, you could just ask.”

Alex tilted his head, considering that. “I’m allowed to just… ask stuff like that?” he checked nervously. How in the world had he gotten this lucky, to be someone Willie loved?

“Of course,” Willie assured him, squeezing his hands again. “I mean, I’d love it if you made it to a point someday where you didn’t feel like you needed to ask, but I actually sort of like it. It’s sweet.”

“Okay, so…” Alex said softly, removing one of his hands from Willie’s grip to cup his cheek. “Hey Willie, can I kiss you?”

“Absolutely,” Willie grinned back, their free hand finding Alex’s waist.

Alex could still hear that stupid part of his brain as he leaned forward, but it was drowned in the glow of Willie’s eyes and then his lips were on theirs, effectively shutting off all other conscious thought. He moved his mouth gently against Willie’s, kissing him sweet and slow. It didn’t fix the problem, but it was a pretty good start.

[perpetual-fool]

-

This is probably stupid and I'm probably wrong, but it's bothering me.

There was an incident. We've had ants in the kitchen pantry, so we have those little tubs of ant poison sitting on the back of the shelves. A while back I noticed they were shoving food packages all the way to the back, so they were coming into contact with the open containers of poison. None of the poison seemed to have gotten out, but that leaves too small a safety margin for my preferences. I brought it up, they agreed it was a problem, and we now have bins to put the food in, ensuring the food will not be touching the poison. Then today, I see that someone has deliberately put a bag of nuts behind the bins and in the poison zone. Unlike before, it had pushed the poison container on its side, the poison had pooled up in its container and was almost leaking out. So it's now a very serious problem. I brought it up, they admit to doing it. Why? They just forgot the poison was there, they claimed. Sure, I can believe that they just forget about things when they're not paying attention to them anymore. So I clarify, "oh, so it's like [other problem]?" And they say "oh, I just needed to be aware of it", "What do you mean 'just'?", "I just wasn't aware of it", "What do you mean 'just'? you literally just told me you are not mentally capable of this." And then I realize this is an attack, and disengage.

That's one of the contradictions I was mentioning earlier, I only know they're wrong because they're disagreeing with themselves. Have a lot of feelings about it, mostly insecure about my life. Like, I'm a dependent, and the people I depend on take nearly every opportunity to destroy me as a person. What's going to happen if they realize it's not working?

Though I think the fact that it feels like a crisis every time it comes up means I don't have the right idea about what's happening. It should at least feel routine, like "ugh, this again". I did have an inverse experience with Cat when she cooperated with the 'explain, give example, rephrase' thing. So extrapolating from that, am I just getting hit with alienation? anti-belonging? And there's not really anything about it I can solve since it's just a raw feeling. If that's true, maybe I could manage it better. I guess I keep getting set up for betrayal by reasonable sounding things, like 'yes, having poison touching the food would be a problem'. Knowing that's what happening, maybe I can be sure to keep my expectations low if someone isn't talking like they're writing code. And maybe get back to making my own language so I can synthesize my own belonging with my imaginary friend.

I seem to be circling issues again. I feel a bit bad about theoretically wasting someone's time with this. But I make these pretty easy to ignore, so I shouldn't. And it just means I haven't figured things out yet.

Tangent, it feels like 'resting' is taking an unreasonably long time. Three days and the ideas still aren't coming? No one has that kind of stamina. If what I really need to recharge is 'belonging' then fair enough, but I'm wondering if the random videos I've been watching have a result akin to junk food. Like, if I'm hungry and I eat a donut, I will actually be more hungry afterwards. I'm thinking maybe my idle activities are returning little to no mental energy. So maybe I should commit to something more involved, like finally playing Outer Wilds or Tunic. I did have a good week or so after trying Lunacid, I think. Hypothetically I should be working on a project of my own, but that's the chicken to the egg of not believing I'm wrong for wanting things. But maybe someday I'll figure out how to design an RPG that somehow replaces combat with sex. Or figure out meaningful time travel, or how to capture that sense of mystery, or simply identify what exactly I find engaging.

Anyway, thanks for theoretically listening. That may or may not be helping somewhat.

[onepersonproject]

One Person Project

Hello person who somehow came across this post.

I’ll add at the outset that I’m not a writer, so there won’t be generous posts that can give anyone anything to think about. English is not my first language either, so I apologize for any mistakes.

I created this blog because I want to change my life. Tumblr is a website, I think, created for this type of shit. I don’t expect anyone to read it, because it will be my virtual diary, but if anyone comes across this page full of trial and error and is willing to help me in any way – with advice of course – I’ll be more than happy with that.

But maybe I'll introduce myself first.

Hi, I'm Anna. I'm in my mid-20s and two days ago I decided to change my life. But seriously. I don't stand out in anything special, in fact, I'm such a boring person that no one really notices me. And that's my problem, too.

My life is boring (shocking, isn’t it?). Every day I go to work, and then I come back and go to bed. The days off are not much different, because I actually spend the whole day at home doing nothing.

I have no hobbies. I've never found anything that would interest me enough to take care of it. I've made a few attempts to get interested in something, but they've always failed.

I don't have any friends. Because of my shyness, which kept me through high school, even though I tried to overcome it, I didn't make any close connections. Although I am now more open to people and can talk to them normally, I am no longer able to make any real friendships. I won't even mention another relationship.

I don't like myself. I don't like the way I look, I don't like the person I've become over the years. I don't like my laziness, my spitefulness, my quick irritation and nervousness, and the fact that I wasted my teenage years on nothing while other people at my school were making memories.

I graduated from a master's degree in a field that may have interested me a little, but it's not promising at all. I consider myself a stupid person, and I don't think any degree would change my mind. Maybe I'm retarded for my age, I don't know.

I consider myself a failure. I keep everything to myself, because I am ashamed to tell my family about my inner thoughts. I think they'd laugh at me or wave at me and say there's bigger problems in life. And I know it is, because OF COURSE there are bigger problems in the world, which you can see even on television or on the Internet. But for me, this is an important matter, after all, my life is at stake, right?

I have no desire to live. I can lie down for a couple of hours watching movies or sleeping and that way I lose a good few days a week. I don't know how to encourage myself to do anything.

My state of health is a joke. I eat junk food that should have eaten my guts a long time ago. How I'm still holding on, I don't know.

And lately I've been thinking about my life. Why isn't everything going the way I want it to? Why doesn't anything change? Why doesn't my life look like the lives of the people from my school?

I know, it doesn't look like that 'cause I'm not doing anything.

It's getting more and more frustrating. Because do I really want to spend my whole life like this? Going to work and coming home and doing literally nothing? If one day I have a family, and my children or grandchildren ask me about my younger self, what am I going to tell them? That I was so lazy and reluctant to live and that I didn't do anything about it?

But what I'm talking about, how I can start a family? With this lifestyle, I'll never meet anyone.

It makes my heart very heavy. And although I made a few attempts to make some small changes – writing diaries, meditating, doing some manifestations (not suitable for this I guess) – I quickly lost the desire to continue. My "every day" diary changed to " every month" and later "every couple of months".

And I think the frustration with this state of life is reaching its limit. I really need to make some changes, or I'm gonna get stuck in this nothingness mode, and I'm gonna end up having a grudge against myself for not doing anything about it. So I thought that maybe such a virtual diary would be better than a paper one (I think I even prefer to write on a keyboard). And maybe somehow there'll be someone who'll have some advice for me on how I could change things a little bit. So I will put here from time to time, maybe more often, maybe less often my progress – the bigger ones and the smaller ones.

Officially I am starting my “One Person Project”, where I will finally pull myself together and fight for myself.

If someone somehow came across this post and even read it to the end - I want to thank you. And I hope I haven’t ruined your day because of my funny “new year, new me” type of post type. Or night. Wherever you are.

(And please no malicious comments, I know I'm pathetic. I accepted it a long time ago, let's move on).

[booasaur]

The Purge (2018) - 1x02

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[postwarlevi]

Weary

Content: over 1.6k words of fluffy/slightly angsty, Levi being there for you after a stressful week story.

a/n- Not sure about the name? Written throughout the day while I did stuff around the house. Super indulgent based off what I'm feeling that I'm sure others also feel at times and I wish everyone has a Levi to comfort them if need be.

11pm.

12am.

1am.

You sigh and turn over, trying to get into a comfortable position.

You've been trying to sleep for hours and it just won't come.

It's been one of the most stressful weeks you've ever had at work. You've been there for years, you're good at what you do, but lately, it's not enough. No matter how hard you try, leadership expects you to give more, stay later, do better. Why are you so behind? You should be more efficient at time management, what's the problem?

The work just keeps piling up because they know you're capable and you've heard of other people being let go for much less, so you'll be scared into anything they say.

You couldn't wait for a day off, and even though you are exhausted, you can't make your brain stop thinking about Monday, already dreading what awaits you.

You are even asked you to come in for a few hours on your off day, getting promising lunch like they always do when they know things are bad, as if that really makes things better. When you said you would let them know, Levi put his foot down.

"No. Absolutely not. You need to rest. Those idiots can get along without you for one day. And if they can't? Too damn bad."

That was early in the day when you had a minute to yourself, which was actually your first break of the day, if that's what it can be called while sitting in the bathroom, almost crying, trying to hurry and eat a snack so you could get back to work, messaging Levi to let him know you might work on your weekend.

You are thankful that he won't stand for this, as he also threatens to come in and cause such a scene they'd be forced to shut down if you dare agree. Otherwise you probably would have said yes.

"Okay, well, it's your decision, of course." The way the higher ups say this, it makes you sound like a disappointment, but with Levis backing, you stand your ground, and finally clock out an hour late, again.

"Angel, don't worry. You're the best at what you do." Levi says after you finally come home, almost shaking with the thought that they would use this against you later to try to let you go. You've never been scared of that before, because you've never been made to feel this way.

Levi beats you home and has dinner set up for you, runs you a bath while he finishes the clean up, has comfortable sleepwear ready for when you dry off, and is ready to sit down to watch whatever type of movie you want together.

"I'm going to go to bed." You say despondently, standing in the hallway, while Levi is just out of view in the kitchen.

Levi frowns, putting away the tray of your favorite snacks he's put together, next to the leftover containers of dinner because you weren't very hungry then, either.

He hates seeing you like this over a lousy job. Sometimes there's a day you might be sad but he's always been able to cheer you up before a new day starts. You don't even want to go cuddle on the couch or read quietly together, or eat junk food.

There's so much better out there for you, but he understands leaving a company you've been with for years, even if things are going in the wrong direction, is a huge decision.

"Of course love." He calls to you, hurrying over before you can get the the bedroom. He holds you in his arms in the doorway, leaving soft kisses all along your face with words of love and praise.

You know this is the most amazing man you'll ever meet, and try not to tear up because all you can do is just stand there, arms at your side, thoughts still too much focused on work. He does everything he can for you, always, and right now you don't feel like you can return it, making you feel even lower.

"I'll be in shortly, okay?" He smooths your hair down, feeling that you're still tense.

"No. I know you have things to do." The monotone voice you use breaks his heart.

You insist that he leave you be and continue his night as normal.

But it's late now, and Levi can only stay away so long, not being able to concentrate much when all his thoughts are on you.

He quietly comes into the room, and it only takes a few moments of him being in bed to realize you're still awake.

"Love, get some sleep." He can't help but wrap an arm around you, even though he still senses your mood.

You try to keep it to yourself, but one little sniffle has Levi sitting up and turning the light on. He pulls you into a position so he can see your face and hurt sets in at seeing tears running down your cheeks, soaking the pillow below.

Now that he knows, you sob a little more openly while he burrows into you, hands gently running over you, shushing your tears.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, finally running a hand along his arm. Sorry that you can't be better, for anyone.

"No, don't. It's okay." Levi holds every part of you, willing it into you to be calm. He doesn't want you to be upset, but maybe this is what you need. To just let it out.

"You're so good to me-" You choke out, before Levi sits up and looks you in the eye.

"You are perfect, you hear me? You know I love you, yeah? There is nothing that makes me happier than seeing you happy, and more upset than when something is making you sad, especially when I can't fix it." You nod, because you know he'll do anything for you, even if you get a little distant sometimes.

"And I know you love me. So I'm telling you, it is okay to feel however you're feeling. As long as we know we're here for each other, and get through things together. If you want to stay at that job, I support you, if you don't, I support you. It's okay to have a bad day, it happens. It's okay if you want some alone time, or don't want to watch tv together sometimes. But I can't have them making you cry. I won't tolerate that." Levi wipes your tears as he speaks to you, making sure you understand that you have options, and he'll be here for you always, but no one is allowed to upset you like this.

You open your mouth to speak, but it doesn't work, so you pull him closer. Levi lays across your chest, head over your heart, soft touches and calming words, while your tears slowly stop.

"Thank you." You say after some silence, your voice more stable now that Levi has helped you to a more peaceful state. You know you can always count on him, and hope he knows how much you love him.

Levi hums in response, eyes closed while your hands run through his hair, breathing steady, almost a little sleepy. He could stay like this but forces himself up with his arms on either side of you.

"You never have to thank me." He says, leaning in for a intimate kiss. He's so grateful that you let him love you, and still at times has a hard time believing someone can love him back. But you say it and show it so often, he knows it must be true.

"Are you sleepy?" You ask when he pulls back finally. If he's tired you want him to sleep since it can be difficult for him.

"What do you want to do, love?" Whether you want to stay in bed or go raid the leftovers, he wants to be where you are.

"Can we go snack and watch tv?" You ask timidly. That's always your go to. "And we can sleep late tomorrow?" You bat your eyelashes, making Levi chuckle.

"That's more like it." Levi rolls out of bed and helps you up as well.

While you delight in pulling out the snacks that had been set up hours earlier, Levi makes some tea and you head to the couch to pick out a movie.

"Okay?" You ask when you pick out a black and white classic romantic comedy.

"My favorite." Levi smiles as he joins you, kissing your cheek and setting up your tea.

You give a cheeky smile and snuggle next to him.

You've seen this movie together enough times that you talk through it some as you sip tea and nibble on snacks. You talk about going out tomorrow once you wake up and doing something fun outdoors.

You start to nod off near the end of the movie and whine when Levi goes to get up.

"I have to clean up." He explains. He can't go to sleep with the table messy.

When Levi comes back in he watches you affectionately when he realizes you're lightly snoring. Finally, you are sleeping.

As night is ending, he's carrying you back into the bedroom, gently placing you down and joining on his side, holding you close.

You do in fact wake up late, making an easy brunch together before heading out for a bit.

While Monday is just around the corner, you don't think about work anymore for the weekend.

The alarm will go off again eventually, and you decide to just keep trying your best and limit any overtime. If they continue to underappreciate the effort you put in while you're there, and are bothered by you not letting work affect your home life, they can find someone else and you will deal with the ramifications as positively as possible.

You know Levi will continue to be by your side, and that together, you can deal with anything.

[waltnut]

Yes, I'm a THIRSTY, HORNY and DEHYDRATED bicht. But I am proud of myself. Can I request more NSFW head cannons of our monster boyfriend? But don't make it dark, maybe add some after segg cares if you want? I LOVE YOU.

Don’t make it dark?? Don’t you know what I’m about??? I can’t believe this.

No I’m joking lol well damn, NSFW? Okay well, this is for the Monster Fuckers so kiddies look away. I’m sorry to those who don’t like NsFw. I will tag it as “NSFT” for Not Safe for Timeline but I also hide it under the cut. I’m sorry. I had fun with this...now I’m embarrassed lmao You guys seem to like these so...

The prompt has me thrown a bit, but I’ll just make some stuff up, I hope that’s okay.

NSFW Headcanons - Monster Boyfriend edition: Demon Lords, Vol. 1

Adult content. These are demons. If this disturbs you, then stop reading here. Otherwise, enjoy?

Lucifer

Level 3

He sheds his feathers on his body when he’s nervous. MC makes him nervous when he’s like this. What do they think of him? Is he ugly? Would they call him a monster?

He’s the most submissive in this form. Gentle touches make him shiver and jump. He feels the most vulnerable and actively moves away from MC if they try to be intimate.

But he wants the intimacy. It’s reassuring. He’s still wanted. He actually might cry a bit. He’s sensitive, be nice.

MC will have to do most of the initiating. After the first time MC had had intimacy with him like this, he will be more confident the next times they engage in any sexual activity.

Level 4

All the pride and confidence. None of that level 3 sissy business, he will have you.

He’s very grabby, and maybe grips a little too tight. He likes the power of being stronger than you. He wants you to know it.

He seems to always have his wings as wide as he can make them. It must be some sort of mating dance. He does have that part bird instinct in there somewhere. He wants to show off, maybe intimidate you a bit. Does he like fear?

Might use the feathers on his tail to tickle you to make you squirm while he has you. What fun!

Mammon

Level 3

He is very clingy. He wants to always be touching you. Even if it’s just the tips of his wings or tail, he wants to have the physical touch.

As he goes through this level, his ability to sense any Greed from the MC to be highly erotic. Talking about buying those new clothes you’ve been wanting? Turn on. Saying how you’re gonna share any of them with him? He can’t contain himself.

He loves pets. Brushes against his hair, feathers, scales, will make him coo. Bird noises, gotta love them.

Easy seduction outfit, should you choose to wear one, anything shiny. Gold chains? Perfect. Sheer black clothes but with gold edges and designs? Also perfect. He can’t resist the shiny.

Level 4

Don’t even think about leaving him, until he lets you. You’re part of his treasure now and he will preen and polish you accordingly.

Lazy in this form, expect lots of cuddling with the dragon. He’s quite warm. The texture on his underside is soft like skin even though it looks like lizard scales. Don’t be surprised when you feel surprise boners while laying with him. He may be lazy, but he’s not tired.

Touching the skin texture of his body is a great seduction tactic should you need one. It’s the sensitive side to his body while the rest is covered in feathers and scales.

While he will dress up MC in gold as a mating ritual, should MC do the same to him, it is the greatest indicator that you are accepting his proposal for intimacy.

Leviathan

Level 3

Two dicks. Look we all know it. We all agree. Moving on.

Touching the purple frills on his ears is like touching his junk. It’s a highly erroneous zone for him. But be gently, they are very soft and sensitive.

Do you even lift? Well you might need to because he is going to be wrapped around you the entire time. He’s quite heavy and good luck getting out of that one.

Laying with him in water is the best way to show any intimate intentions. Even if you think it’ll be a relaxing chill in the water, think again.

Level 4

Now if you’re brave and choose to sleep with a giant ass sea monster, you’re in luck because he can manipulate water to allow you to breathe in the water.

He is the largest of all the brothers in terms of monster size. He’s a giant sea dragon. So be careful when dealing with...well, his size.

He likes to flip you around in the water, so staying in one position is not an option. It’s like a dance!

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the orange fleshy bits on his sides. The more he glows the more you know!

Satan

Level 3

If you’re into having sex after yelling and screaming at each other then congrats! So is he. Angry sex is what he’s about. He’s wrath. I mean, come on.

Belittle him. No really. He’ll want to prove you wrong. Fuels the fire.

Extremely dominant. Don’t even try to top him. Also you just finished? No rest for you, you’re going again.

He’s gonna scratch and mark you. Bring some bandaids.

Level 4

Okay first of all, you really want to sleep with this? He’s terrifying. He is an actual hell spawn. Well okay, be prepared for selfish sex. He’s rough.

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the flames on his back. Can you pass your hand through it without it burning you? You pass. It’ll grow brighter and larger the closer he is to finishing.

Most likely to choke you.

Will call you names during the act, sorry. The “not nice” kind.

Asmodeus

Level 3

Words are your biggest weapon. Constant love and adoration is all you need when he’s like this. You won’t even need to touch him to work the magic.

As the avatar of lust, he knows the human body of all genders. His genitalia resembles a males’ but it does have a clit on the bottom side of the head of the dick. You can get real creative with that.

Kiss and touch his ears! He loves it. They might flick at your touch, but he’s into it.

Is able to have his scorpion tails in this form if he chooses to, and he likes pushing and pulling you around with them.

Level 4

More of a Dom in this form. He also enjoys a good mess.

Don’t grab onto his tails, he’s not into it. But grabbing onto his mane? Go right ahead with that.

A little bitey. Vampire tendencies.

Most likely to try and sex you on the ceiling. Why? Not sure. But he’s able to do it so just roll with it.

Beelzebub

Level 3

Look at that long ass tongue. He’s gonna use it. Why wouldn’t he use it? You’re gonna want him to use it. The paralysis saliva he can produce is something he can choose to use.

Will jump on you out of nowhere. No literally, where did he come from? It’s 3 Am and everyone else is asleep. But a good smack will get him to stop if it’s unwanted. Bad puppy.

He might share his food with you if he’s offering intimacy. Like with his mouth. Like it might already be chewed a bit.

Chromeo lyrics: ((Don’t turn the lights on! I want to see you in the dark~.)) His eyes are sensitive, okay.

Level 4

You ever had sex with a Minotaur? You ever wanted to?

Will carry you off to a secluded area that he has found for himself. He doesn’t want to be disturbed.

The longer you go with him, the hotter his body feels. Just like when he feeds, he’ll have steam coming off his body.

Most likely to hump your leg.

Belphegor

Level 3

He enjoys you being uncomfortable. Emotionally or physically.

Sleep paralysis demon. Hey, at least you won’t be doing most of the work.

He’ll quietly hum a lullaby to you to see if you’ll accept his intimacy proposal. If you hum back, you accept. Careful, he might hum your favorite song.

His wool is so soft. Why is it so soft? You need to touch all of it.

Level 4

If you’re not banging irl, you will in your dreams.

You ever wanted to have sex in space? He can make the best magic Galaxy projector you’ve ever seen, and without the paid promotion!

His wool smells of soothing herbs and incense. So despite his creepy ass behavior, you find a way to calm your nerves.

You’ll have the best sleep you’ve ever had afterwards.

[kpop---scenarios]

Life After Death

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader

Genre: Zombie! Au, Enemies to Lovers

Warning: Death, Blood, Smut, Swearing

Word Count: 9k

Summary: The morning you woke up, everything seemed normal, until it wasn't. The world is turned upside down the government and the World Health Organization have shut down, zombies around every corner and only the strong survive. You meet a few friends along the way, and lose even more as you continue to fight for your life. You never thought you'd meet someone under these circumstances but here you were, happy while surviving life after death. Though you should have known, there's never a happy ending in an apocalypse.

A/N: This is part of the collab started by @biaswreckingfics! Go to her page to see the other stories written by terrific creators!

"I'll see you later." You whisper to your sleeping boyfriend before you place a light kiss on his cheek. You open the front door to your apartment, looking back and around at everything, making sure you weren't forgetting anything before you left. As you close the door, you realize you forgot to turn off the radio when you hear one of your favorite songs playing. With a sigh, you glance at your watch and you see you're going to be late, so you leave it, just missing the important message that interrupted everything.

"Breaking News: The World Health Organization has announced extremely serious side effects from the recent vaccinations of batch number 0506361. If the numbers 0506361 are on your vaccination cards please report to your nearest hospital to seek medical treatment."

You don't notice anything different or weird as you walk down the pathway from your apartment building to your parked car. The sun is shining, the air smells crisp, today was going to be a good day, you could feel it. You slide into the driver's seat of your car, turning it on and immediately syncing your phone to play your favorite playlist to amp you up for the day of work you had ahead of you. As you continue to drive to work you notice the streets seem a lot busier than they usually were, especially for 7:45am, some people in their suits running down the sidewalk screaming. Your stomach twisted as you continued down the street, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to watch the people and the road, slowing your speed. You look out your window and see a man laying on the ground, with another man on top of him. You rolled down your window to yell at them, but when the man turned to look at you, panic ensued. His eyes were white, his face was covered in blood, veins pulsating in his face. Nothing about him seemed human. He looked directly at you, and stood up. Your hands shook as you rolled up your window as fast as it would go. The man suddenly now bolted towards you, snarling. With your window up and both hands now on the steering wheel, you try to breathe through the lump that had appeared in your throat. As you keep driving, you see more and more of people being attacked, tackled and ripped into, people running away crying and screaming, vehicles crashing, buildings and cars up in flames. You could hear the blood curdling screams from inside your car. With shaky hands you switch the station of your radio to see if anyone was reporting on what the fuck was happening.

"..If the numbers 0506361 are on your vaccination cards please report to your nearest hospital to seek medical treatment.. there's a virus.. It's zombies. Zombies are attacking the city.. everyone seek shelter.. oh god.. please no."

You quickly turn your car around, speeding back to your apartment as you try to swerve off the undead as you rush back to your boyfriend. You may not know much, but you've seen enough zombie movies to know that you need to get supplies. You drive your car up and over the curb, parking directly on the lawn in front of your building and run inside. You were lucky you lived right on the ground floor of one of the first apartments in. You struggle to slide your key into the lock, the cries of residents pleading filling the hallway. Your key finally slides into the lock, quickly you turn it and shove your door open before slamming it behind you.

"Jaebum?" You whisper as you scrounge through the front closet looking for the duffle bag that you knew was in there. "Jaebum." You hiss again, running to the kitchen. You pack all the perishable food items and then begin filling up every jug you could find that had a lid with water. You tore through your junk drawer grabbing the flashlights and batteries, and any candles you could find as well as your butcher block.

"I'm serious, Jaebum. You need to answer me now." You hiss, bringing the bag into the living room. You guys needed to leave quickly, which meant you needed to pack even quicker. It wasn't like him not to answer you, it made you worry. You glance to the front door and his shoes were still exactly where he had left them the night before. You crept up to your closed bedroom door, with your hand hovering over the door knob. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest as you grabbed the knob, slowly turning it. You push the door open, expecting to see him, but he wasn't there. You quickly changed out of your work clothes, and grabbed everything from all of your drawers and shoved it into the bag. It wasn't until you had finished grabbing what you needed and you had a second to listen that you heard the shower running from down the hall, but for whatever reason, something didn't feel right. You tiptoed quietly down the hallway, standing in front of the door, you pressed your ear against it but heard nothing other than the sound of the shower running.

"Jaebum?" You whispered, gently knocking on the door, but there was no answer. You turned the knob, and opened the door. You saw your boyfriend standing there with his back turned to you. "Oh my god, Jae, we have to go! There are fucking zombies outside!" You gasp, still having a hard time believing those words that were coming from your mouth. In a split second he turned around, his face was beginning to contort, one eye was pure white.

"Y/N.. somethings wrong." He chokes out, spitting out blood before he falls to the ground, his body spasming while he froths at the mouth.

You let out a loud scream as you slam the door shut, running down the hallway to grab the duffle bag before heading out. You swing your door open to run out and crash into a man who falls into another group. You turn to apologize but already there were zombies staggering down the hallway at a quick pace. You whisper an apology before you run out the front door, his cries and pleas for help making your heart sink. You release a big breath seeing your car is still there. You climb in your front seat, closing the door as fast as you can and locking all the doors before turning your car on. Just before you were able to put your car in reverse and speed away, a man began banging on your window.

"Please miss, please open your door." He asks. You look at his face, he's sweating, blood splattered all over his face. His fists and arms remain pressed against your window, smearing blood across it. Your eyes drift down and you see a fresh wound - a bite mark and a chunk taken from his arm.

"You were bitten.." You say to him through the window.

"I'm fine. It's fine.. it's not a bite.. please." He begs. He turns to look behind him and looks back at you, panic written all over his face.

"Please miss, they're coming.. please." He cries.

"I can't." You yell, turning your head away from them. You put the car in reverse, stepping on the gas you pull away from him, knocking him to the ground. As your car stops so you can switch it into drive, you watch as the man gets mauled by a herd of the undead. You felt bad, but you couldn't have helped him, even if you wanted to.

You drove towards the freeway, thinking your best bet is to get out of the city. Your eyes were glued to the road and watching the mirrors, you watched as people panicked while driving, crashing into other cars trying to merge first, crashing into medians, and going in all directions. You could feel a panic attack coming along as you finally realized you were all alone. You had no one to talk to, no one to help you and that was terrifying. You glance down at your gas gage, seeing you had almost a full tank, you knew you would be able to make it to the one place that was probably the safest, your cousin Ray's.

You're stuck in traffic with your doors locked as you see a few people running to cars, trying to get in. There's a man, crying and panicking. No one would let him in, a herd of zombies following behind him. You needed to make a quick decision, so you rolled down your window motioning them over to you. "Here, get in." You yell, unlocking your doors. A man climbs into the backseat of your car, and you quickly lock the doors as soon as the door closes.

"Thank you." The man cries

"Have you been bitten?" You ask, turning to look him over.

"No.. no I haven't. Some men.. they pulled me out of my car, and took off, leaving me out there to die." The man explains. "You're the first person who offered me any help."

"I'm glad I could help." You smile through your rear view. "My cousin has a farm just an hour or so up from here. My family is heading there now. He's been preparing for an apocalypse for a long time. We should be safe there." You explain.

Earlier you had gotten a frantic call from your mother, her asking if you had seen what was going on. You couldn't understand why she thought you lived under a rock and didn't know anything. You did leave your house and listen to the news, contrary to popular belief.

"Thank you, thank you." He cries. You just smile as you continue to drive to Ray's farm.

**

An hour later you take a left turn, driving down the gravel road that leads you to the farm house. You drive slowly, seeing your mom's car, your aunt's car and a few other relatives. You sighed a sigh of relief, knowing that your family was safe. The two of you get out of the car and quietly make your way to the door. You softly knock but there's no answer. You turn the door knob, pushing the door open and it's empty. You walk down the small hallway and hear nothing. Your mom isn't talking, Ray wasn't yelling, no one was making a sound and that was very unusual for your family.

"Hello?" You call out.

You hear footsteps coming from down the hall as the two of you stand around the kitchen. "Hurry up." You laugh and cry.

As the footsteps got closer, you could hear snarling. Your laughter stopped as your cousin Ray came out of the back room. "Zombies." You whisper, backing away.

Not far behind him was your mom, dad, and aunt all coming out, rushing towards you all. "Run!" You scream, heading towards the door. You pull it open, the man behind you trying to get out the door, but he falls, crying as the undead come closer. He's doing his best to fight the zombies off but more stagger out from the back room, there are too many for him. "Run! Save yourself! If you meet my wife, her name is H/N, tell her I love her and our daughter." He yells. "I was trying to get home to them." He yells.

He's trying so hard to fight them, but he's bitten, he screams in agony as he's being ripped to shreds, his body being mauled by the undead.

His screams are now silent, the only sound filling the room is the sound of flesh being torn through.

You close the door, running back to your car. You see a gas can on the side of the house. You rummage through your car, knowing that you have a lighter somewhere in there. You remembered the argument you and Jaebum had gotten into about smoking and he tossed his lighter in your car.

Found it, under the passenger seat. As you went to get out of the car, you noticed something in the backseat.

A wallet.

You grabbed it, opening it up to see the license. It was the man's.

"Kim Jongdae." You whisper. You felt sorry for him, but you couldn't take long to mourn. You needed to be alert and get back on the road. You take your lighter and run to the gasoline. You pour it all over the front of the house, seeing your undead family banging against your windows broke your heart but you needed to do this. You flick the lighter, igniting the flame and throw it onto the ground. The house lights up, the flames quickly engulfing the house. You walk back to your car, slide into the driver's seat and sit there, tears pouring down your cheeks. You have no family, no friends, you have no one.

No one is coming to save you. You watch as your family and the house burn to the ground, exploding in the process.

That made you laugh a little bit, thinking of all the illegal shit your cousin Ray had in his basement.

A while later you get yourself together and drive over to the barn. If you knew anything about your cousin, it is that he always stored something in his barn, besides his pride and joy of a car, his old bronco, Monty. You pull the doors open, and take the tarp off the car, revealing its shine. Just as you remembered it. You peaked in the driver's side and sure enough, the keys were dangling from the ignition.

You began walking slowly to the back of the barn, opening another door, and here you found the jackpot.

Guns.

From a machine gun, to a pistol, to a shotgun. You gathered them all, putting the guns and the ammo in the backseat of Monty. You grab your bags from your car, tossing them in as well before looking around to see if there was anything else you could take. You notice a radio, but don't think much of it at the moment.

You climb into the driver's seat, and pull out of the barn, feeling safer than you have all day. You keep driving down the deserted highway. Abandoned cars everywhere, a few bodies laying around but most of all, no zombies but also no humans either. You're barely paying attention to the road, when you hit something, causing you to swerve, and the car to make a funny noise. You get out to check and see your front tire, flat as fuck.

You didn't have a spare. It was getting dark and you were exhausted. You moved most of the guns to the floor of the back seat, grabbing a blanket and some food and water. You change your clothes, wiping yourself down before having a snack. Laying down in the backseat you try to plan out your next move, but your eyelids get too heavy, and you can't fight it anymore. You doze off completely, and for a little while, forget about the disaster you're in.

You stayed in your car for weeks, never coming across anyone human. You missed talking to someone, talking to yourself wasn't the same. At times you almost forgot what your own voice sounded like. When it was safe, you'd get out of the car and wander around the forest, collecting sticks and branches to make fires with, so you could heat up some of your food. You have some, but you were starting to run low and you didn't know what you were going to do when it ran out. You were limiting yourself to one meal a day but even that didn't seem to help.

You learned when zombies came near the car, in a few or a herd, you needed to hide yourself very well. No moving, light breathing and packed under a lot of things. You were sure if they couldn't see you then they would continue on their way and leave. It almost always worked.

Life in the apocalypse was lonely and exhausting. That night you went to sleep, hoping for a miracle.

You're woken up later, by a frantic tapping on your window. Your eyes adjust to the sun as you look directly out your back window. A group of men stand there, all looking terrified as one of them taps on your window harder. You crawl up to the front driver's seat. You know you can't go anywhere, not with your busted tire. You turn the car on, rolling down your window just a crack.

"What?" You ask, side eyeing all of them.

"Please, we won't hurt you.. we just need a ride. There.. there's a military base a few miles up, but we just can't walk anymore. We haven't come across anyone, human in a while." He stutters.

"My tire is flat." You explain. "I don't have a spare."

"I can change it for you, just gotta take one off another car." A man pipes up.

You didn't feel uneasy from these guys and you were one to always trust your instincts.

"You change the tire, I'll give you a ride." You say. A military base? Maybe it would finally be somewhere safe for you to be.

The man nods and gets to work. By the time he's done the sun is beginning to set, and then you're on your journey to hopefully find somewhere safe.

You're driving down the highway, doing your best to follow the men's map that has every military base mapped out in the 100 miles surrounding the area. "What are your names?" You ask.

"I'm Changbin." The one in the front seat answers. "I'm Chan, and this is Felix." One in the back answers.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N." You say with a smile. As you continue to drive, it quickly becomes night time, everything is black, except for the dim lights coming from your headlights. The two men in the back continue to loudly talk and argue over something, making it hard for you to concentrate. You hated driving at night, especially near wooded areas, you never knew what was out there.

"Can you guys stop?" You ask, glancing to the back.

They continued and got louder. Changbin was asleep in the front seat as they continued their bickering, making you get even more flustered. You turn your head to look back at them, telling them again to stop. They look at each other as you look back at the road and see something standing there. You get startled, yanking the wheel to try and avoid it, heading directly into the woods. The car heads straight on towards a tree and crashes. You hit your head hard on the steering wheel, knocking you out.

What feels like hours, but only seconds later you gain consciousness, just in time to hear Changbin and Chan crying. "She killed him." Changbin cried. "I'm gonna kill her." He yells.

You're struggling to open your eyes, your head is pounding.

You can hear some rustling between the two. "Don't." Chan says. "Leave her. She's in no condition to go anywhere. The undead will get her. She'll get her suffering, ``he says. "Let's take what we can and leave."

"No." You whisper. "Don't."

They can't hear you.

You can hear them rummaging through your car, collecting your guns, your food, your water, everything you had.

"Let's go." Changbin says, they both take off, leaving you there to die as you lose consciousness once again.

**

You're startled awake, surrounded by darkness. You unbuckle your seatbelt, getting out of the car with your head pounding. Your headlights are still on, and you see Felix's body laying on the ground. He had flown through the windshield from the impact of the crash. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt. You begin to cry, this was too much for you.

And then you remember. You look up and see a herd of zombies staggering towards you. They were quicker than you thought. You turned towards the road, running as fast as you could, your leg was throbbing. You run across the road to the other side of the woods. You can hear the snarling behind you as you do your best to navigate through the trees, branches breaking beneath your feet.

You stop, hiding behind a tree, trying to control your breathing. You listen, you can hear the sounds of them walking through the forest, searching for you. You take a second before you take off again, trying to zigzag through the woods in your best attempt to lose them.

You look up, seeing a fire. You run towards it, the flames becoming closer, you can hear the sound of faint words.

Then everything goes quiet. Suddenly the fire is put out and you can hear the sounds of guns clicking.

"Don't shoot." You yell out. "Please."

"What do you want?" A woman yells back.

"I'm.. there's a herd following me. I need help. I was in an accident, I was robbed. I haven't been bitten." You stutter.

"We don't need anyone else." A man yells. "Keep moving."

"Please.. I just need some help. I'm all alone." You cry.

"Move along, before I put a bullet in your head." He yells.

You let out a sob as you turn, beginning to run a different way. You hope you can find a safe place and a group of people but for tonight, you just hope you can survive the night.

**

It had been months.

Months since the outbreak, months of being on your own, months of fighting, scavenging, and hiding. You had come across a few groups, but they wanted nothing more than to take what you had and leave you defenseless. You had learned to hide from most people, giving yourself the advantage of a surprise attack. Most of the time you were successful and they just took off but sometimes they also fought back.

A week ago you had come across a small town, and had found some food and water and a place to stay, but you knew better than to stay in one place for too long. You quickly packed up your belongings into your backpack and grabbed your large spear. You learned awfully quick how to take down a zombie with it, finding it to be much more efficient than a gun, especially with having spears on both sides.

As you walk through the forest, your eyes and ears are open, listening for any signs of the undead. You stop in your tracks, hearing the sound of grunting and yelling, sounding close to you. You walk towards the sound, and come into view of four men trying to fight off a herd. They looked to be struggling, and although you don't usually like to insert yourself into others' fights, you felt like being nice and lending a hand. You run towards them, spearing a few in the head on your way.

You quickly join the fight, taking down a few zombies, as they get a little distracted, seeing another person helping.

"Focus." A man yells, bringing them out of the confusion.

A few minutes later, the last one is stabbed in the head, his decaying body dropping to the ground. The four men turn to look at you, two of them with a smile on their faces, one looking a little confused and the other one looking right angry.

"Hi." One with brown hair and a large smile says.

"Thank you." The blonde one grins.

"No problem." You laugh.

"I'm Baekhyun, this is Chanyeol." He introduces. "And that's Suho." He says, pointing to the confused one. "And that's Kyungsoo." He finishes, pointing to the angry one.

"Nice to meet you all." You say. "I'm Y/N."

"Are you all alone?" Chanyeol asks.

You nod your head.

"What's your story, Y/N?" Suho asks.

You smile awkwardly as you look at the four men who surround you. "My boyfriend turned into one of them when this whole thing started, so I was on my own from the beginning, in a sense. I met a man on my way to my cousin's farm, where my family was gathering, and when we got there they all had already turned. He..he tripped and he fell while trying to escape and he was bitten." You shudder. "I gathered supplies and I took off, and ended up with a flat tire a few hours away. I stayed in my car for weeks, managing pretty well on my own. I met three guys who offered to change my tire for a ride to a military base but when we finally got going.. it was dark and they were arguing in the back." You explain. "I turned around to tell them to stop, but they wouldn't listen and when I looked back at the road, there was something there and I swerved." You sigh. "We hit a tree, and one of them flew through the window. The other two robbed me of everything I had and I've been alone ever since."

"Well not anymore you're not." Baekhyun smiles. "You can join our group."

"Yeah!" Chanyeol exclaims.

"No." Kyungsoo grunts, walking past you, glaring at you. "We didn't need your help. And you're not joining us." He spits. "You're not going to let her join, right?" He asks Suho.

"I don't know." Suho sighs.

"Suho, everyone around her dies. She's bad fucking luck and if you bring her with us, we're all as good as dead." He spits.

"Meeting." Suho announces.

The four men huddle around, whispering to each other. You can make out Baekhyun and Chanyeol saying yes, and Kyungsoo saying no.

Seconds later they all stand up, Kyungsoo looking pissed with the other two looking happier than a pig in shit.

"If you would like to, we would like to invite you to join us. We know it's tough out here, and I can't imagine what it's been like to be alone." Suho says.

You look between all the men, even if one hated you for no reason, you were tired of being alone, and being scared alone.

"Yes." You announce. "Thank you."

"Come on, our camp is this way." Chanyeol smiles, waving you along. Three men begin walking away, but Kyungsoo walks towards you.

"I don't trust you." He murmurs, moving in close. "If anyone from this group so much as gets a splinter, I'm coming for you." He growls into your ear, his tone is low and very threatening. Goosebumps cover your skin as you feel his hot breath on your ear.

You nod your head.

He turns away from you, running towards the rest of his group.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea?

**

You felt like your legs were going to collapse as you continued to walk behind the group. Baekhyun turns around, smiling as he announces you have arrived. You look around and see a bunch of trees, but no camp, except for the small campfire pit that sat on the ground.

"It's.. nice." You smile.

Chanyeol, Suho and Baekhyun start laughing.

"Look up." Chanyeol says.

You tilt your head to the sky, and see a decent sized tree house sitting between a few trees. Your jaw drops, this was one thing you had never expected to see. "Come, we'll give you a tour." Baekhyun says, beginning to climb up the swinging ladder. You follow behind Baekhyun, the rest coming up behind you. When you get inside, you're honestly still amazed. It wasn't much but it was safe and it was out of the way and off the ground.

"We pull up the ladder when we're here, and when we all leave we just hide it." Suho explains. "We have food, water and sleeping bags. The most important things. We all pitch in around here, whether or not it's repairs, runs, or fights, everyone helps." He says, looking at you.

"Of course. Whatever I can do to help, I will." You assure them.

"Or don't, I'm not ready to die." Kyungsoo mutters, setting his stuff down.

Your eyes darted over to Kyungsoo, giving him an offended look. He looks back at you, not caring if he's hurt your feelings. You can sort of understand why he's weary of you, but it's not like you killed these people for the hell of it. You were determined to prove that it wasn't you, that you weren't bad luck. How you were going to do that, you had no idea.

**

That night you sat around a campfire, your belly fuller than it's been in a while, while you listened to stories Baekhyun and Chanyeol shared about their friend group. As it turned out, there were a total of twelve of them when this first started. Some of them were unfortunate to be ones who had gotten the batch of vaccines, a few they had lost while traveling, some died in fights, or took off to find their loved ones.

"Have you come across any of them?" You ask.

"We've looked, but no luck so far. There are two we're still looking for. Oh Sehun and Kim Jongdae." Suho says.

Your heart stops. Your head darts up, looking at him with wide eyes.

"What?" Chanyeol asks.

"What was that last name?" You whisper.

"Kim Jongdae? He was one of our best friends." Suho tells you.

You gulp, there's a ball forming in your throat. "What?" Kyungsoo yells. "What do you know?"

"I.. He said he was trying to get back to his wife and kid.. h-he told me to run and save myself. I wanted to help him b-but I didn't know how." You choke out.

"The man that was bitten at your farm. That was Jongdae?" Kyungsoo asks.

"I saw his license in his wallet.. he had dropped it in my car when we got out. I'm so sorry." You cry.

Kyungsoo rushes towards you, tackling you to the ground, straddling you.

"You fucking bitch, I knew you shouldn't have joined us. It should have fucking been you. You should have died, not him." He screams in your face, spit flying from his mouth as he hands pin your shoulders to the ground.

You're bawling as Suho and Chanyeol pull Kyungsoo off of you, he's still crying and yelling. "It should have been you!" He yells.

Baekhyun helps you off the ground, guiding you to go up into the tree house. He sets out a sleeping bag for you, tucking you in as you cry into the built in pillow. 'I'm so sorry." You whimper.

"I know. And we know it's not your fault. Jongdae was a clumsy motherfucker so I'm not surprised he tripped. Don't take what Kyungsoo says to heart. He's been through alot and he's not warm to new people. Just give him a bit." Baekhyun tells you. He gives you a half smile before climbing down the ladder and sitting back around the fire, helping to calm things down. That night you fell asleep with tears staining your face.

**

Days bled into weeks, and then into months, until this new life and these men were all that were at the top of your mind. Chanyeol had finally been able to make contact with the ham radio that had been found on one of many expeditions. There seemingly were whole groups of people like yourselves out there, sticking together and trying to survive. You reflected on the wonder of it all as you cleaned the rabbit you had caught, the best you could.

Kyungsoo had become different with you, he didnt give off a hatred towards you anymore. His words didn't cut quite as deep. Slowly you were becoming closer, and you enjoyed it.

Suddenly, you feel a presence behind you, waves of hot breath covering the nape of your neck, sending chills down your spine. He didn't even need to speak, you already knew who it was. "You're doing it wrong." Kyungsoo breathed, his body close to yours.

"I'm not." You retort, continuing to skin the dead animal. You tried to ignore his presence, and that fact that he made you feel so many mixed emotions whenever he was around.

You both hear a crunch of leaves behind you, making Kyungsoo step away from you and turn around.

"What are you guys doing?" Baekhyun asks, raising his eyebrow.

"She's skinning the rabbit wrong. She's going to take off all the meat with the fur." Kyungsoo announces.

"I am not.. shit." You spit, looking on the ground, seeing hunks of meat still attached to the fur.

"Told you." He mumbles, walking away and into the forest to try and find more food.

You stick up your middle finger at the man who drove you crazy day in and day out.

"Y/N." Suho calls out to you, a few hours later. "If you want to take a bath, go to the stream now. It's going to be dark soon."

You nod your head, climbing up the ladder to grab your things. You slide back down, just in time for Kyungsoo to be protesting something.

"We've all got other things to do, you're the only one free." Suho tells him. "Y/N, Kyungsoo will be keeping watch for you."

"I really don't ne.." you start.

"Yes you do." He says, looking at you. "And you will go. That's it."

With an aggravated groan, Kyungsoo stomps off towards the stream, with your speed walking to keep up with him.

As you finish up your wash, you dry yourself off with your towel, pulling your jeans on over your damp legs. You bend down to grab your shirt, when you hear a rustling from behind you. You stand up straight, your heart pounding in your chest.

You hear it again, the sound now closer to you. "Fuck." You scream, running towards Kyungsoo. Your body collides with his, your breasts pressing against his hard chest. "There's something out there." You whisper.

You both hear the sound, Kyungsoo holding onto you as his eyes dart around, taking in the surroundings. Seconds later a deer walks out of the bushes, grazing and you can feel your heart slow down.

"It's a deer." He announces, looking at you. You look back at him, your eyes trailing to his heart shaped lips. Your own set of lips parting slightly as you look back at him, his eyes haven't moved from your face. Without thinking you inch yourself forward, which causes Kyungsoo to inch back. Your stomach sinks. You cannot believe you just did that. Why did you think that he would return a kiss?

"We should head back." He says, avoiding eye contact and clearing his throat.

You feel so embarrassed. You quickly whisper an apology before grabbing your things and taking off, hearing a faint "wait." From behind you. You're running through the words, desperately trying not to cry as you can hear Kyungsoo running behind you.

You finally slow down, trying to catch your breath as your lips quiver. You hear a stick break behind you. You turn around with a sigh, and come face to face with a zombie, snarling as he reaches out for you. You scream loudly as you try to fight it off, tripping in the process. You fall back with him on top of you as he tries to go in for a bite. Black bile is seeping from his mouth, his breath is rancid.

"Help!" You scream out, one hand trying to reach for something, anything that would help you take him out.

Suddenly his body goes limp and you hear the sound of a sword coming out of his head. You roll the body off of you, and see Chanyeol smiling above you.

"Thank you." You sigh in relief. Chanyeol puts out his hand to help you up, when he's attacked. Another zombie staggers up to him, latching his teeth to Chanyeol's neck. He screams out in agony as the monster devours him before your eyes.

"No!" You cry. You take Chanyeol's sword, putting the blade right through the zombie's skull. Chanyeol sinks to the ground, sobbing while he holds his neck. "I'm sorry." You cry. "I'm so so sorry."

"It's.. not.. your...fault." He breathes. "Tell them.. I love them.." he stutters.

Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Suho rush to Chanyeol's side. Baekhyun is sobbing while Kyungsoo and Suho hold back their tears.

"I didn't.. I didn't know there was a second one." You sob.

Kyungsoo walks over to you, his face stone cold. He wraps one arm around you, pulling you in close to him. "It's not your fault." He murmurs. The two of you stand there, watching the life drain from Chanyeol's eyes.

Baekhyun announces he will be the one to put Chanyeol down, but would like to do it in private. Three of you walk away from the sobbing man, your heart full of guilt.

**

The next day, the camp is quiet. You were busy making wood spears, like Chanyeol had taught you a few weeks ago. You couldn't even look at Baekhyun. You knew the two of them were best friends and your heart hurt so badly that Chanyeol died while trying to save you.

Had you not been so stupid and tried to kiss Kyungsoo, then this would never have happened. You knew this was your fault and there was nothing you could do to make it better. You can't bring Chanyeol back and you really wish you could.

"Careful." You hear from behind you. You turn your head and see Kyungsoo leaning against a tree. "If you keep sharpening it like that you're going to end up slicing your finger off." He tells you.

"This is how.. Chanyeol showed me how to do it." You say. You could barely speak his name.

Kyungsoo chuckles. "Yeah, he wasn't the best at doing it either." He crouches behind you, wrapping his arms around you to show you the proper way of doing it. Your heart still flutters as he touches you.

"Thank you." You whisper.

"Anytime." He says, standing up and walking away from you.

Fuck. You were so fucked.

**

That night you couldn't sleep. You stared at the empty spot beside you, where Chanyeol used to sleep. You could hear the small whimpers coming from Baekhyun and you just couldn't take it. You slowly slid out of your sleeping bag, slid on some shoes and climbed down the ladder. As you stand in the forest, you take a deep breath of fresh air. You need to gather your thoughts and heal yourself. You begin walking through the woods. It's quiet, and you didn't plan on going very far. As you're walking, you stop to listen. You hear a noise coming from in front of you but you didn't know what it was. You tried your best to hide behind the tree, limiting your breathing as you continue to listen. You can heat twigs breaking and leaves crunching. Your heart begins to race in your chest, you squeeze your eyes shut.This was a bad idea, you should not have left the tree house.

"What are you doing?" You hear from in front of you. You open your eyes and see Kyungsoo standing in front of you.

"I thought.. oh my god." You sigh. "I thought I was going to die."

Before he can say anything you both hear groans and snarls but you're not sure where from. You unintentionally let out a squeak. Kyungsoo covers your mouth with his hand, pushing you up against the tree. His body presses hard against yours, you can feel his hot breath against your neck.

The two of you stay like this for what feels like hours. When the sound is finally gone he pulls away from you.

"What are you doing out here?" He growls.

"I needed some air, and to think." You explain.

"You could die out here. This has to be your stupidest decision." Kyungsoo scoffs.

"No." You begin. Before your brain can tell you not to say anything, your mouth begins to move. "My stupidest decision was trying to kiss you." You say, turning away from him to walk away.

"I was surprised." He announces. "I didn't think you'd try and kiss me. I didn't think you'd even like me. I treated you terribly." He tells you.

"That's probably why I like you unfortunately." You sigh, making him laugh.

As the two of you are walking back towards the house, you hear whispers coming towards you. You both stop, hearing the sound of a gun loading, making you stop in your tracks. Kyungsoo pulls you behind him, moving both of you towards a bigger tree to hide behind.

"Show yourself walker." A man screams. "I know you're out there."

Neither of you say anything. Kyungsoo is against pressed up against your body, shielding you from any danger.

A while later you see a light flashing. It flashes towards your tree, making Kyungsoo push into you more, trying to keep the two of you hidden. The light passes the tree you're behind and continues to walk away. Neither of you move until the light is completely gone and out if sight. Both of you let out a sigh of relief but Kyungsoo doesn't move away from you. His face hovers close to yours, you can feel his breath on your face.

You wait. You wait for what you hope will happen but you don't think that it will come.

Until it does. Kyungsoo presses his lips to yours. You're shocked at first, until he begins moving his lips against yours and you get into it. You wrap your arms around his neck as he slips his tongue into your mouth. You moan into the kiss, making him groan.

"I want to fuck you." He says, his lips still just barely touching yours.

"I want you to fuck me." You breathe.

Kyungsoo turns you around, pushing you up against the tree. He kneels down, pulling down your sweat pants and underwear.

"Spread your legs." He demands.

You spread them as far as you can. You can hear the sound of his belt unbuckling behind you. Your pussy throbs in anticipation. You don't know how big or small he is, but you hope he destroys you. You couldn't even remember the last time you had been fucked at all.

Kyungsoo steps up behind you, taking two fingers and searching between your lips for your hole. He chuckles when he finds it, he can feel your juices dripping from inside of you. "So fucking wet." He groans, slowly pushing his two fingers inside you. Immediately you clench around them, it feels so good. "I needed to make sure you were wet enough, and fuck are you ever." He whispers in your ear.

He pulls his fingers out of you, and lines his cock up with your hold. You're bracing yourself on the tree as he pushes himself inside you. Your eyes practically roll back into your head as he stretches you out.

"Oh god." You cry, your fingernails digging into the tree bark.

"Shit." He cries, slowly pulling out of you before snapping his hips and harshly pushing his cock back inside. "It's gonna be quick." He groans.

That was fine with you, you knew you could rub your clit twice and cum, it had been too long.

Kyungsoo has his hands holding onto your hips as he snaps his, grunting and groaning from behind you. You reach between your legs, touching your clit. You begin to slowly rub it and you can already feel your intense orgasm already building up. You feel like you're going to cum already. His cock feels so nice sliding in and out of your pussy, the sound of his grunts and moans, with the feeling of his hot breath covering you and giving you shivers.

"Cum." He grunts. Your tighten your pussy around him as you orgasm washes over you, leaving your body feeling weak.

Kyungsoo moans loudly as he pulls out of you, jerking his cock to cum all over your ass. He lets out a string of swear words as he releases his load, breathing heavily as he works through it.

You both pull up your pants, and get situated. "We better get back." He says, walking back towarsa camp. You follow closely behind him, confused about your feelings for him, but more so his feelings for you, if there were any.

**

The next day you wake up with the thoughts of what happened last night over flowing through your head. You didn't know how to process this, or what was going to happen now. You decided to see how the day was going to play out and just go about your normal routine.

When you got downstairs you said hi to Suho, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Two of them said goodmorning back to you, and one did not. You tried to stop thinking about it but it was hard and you knew he wasn't the type of man to tell you his feelings.

However, all day he ignored you. Anytime you tried to say anything to him, he walked away, he refused to answer you and honestly you felt extremely disrespected. Your eyes burn as you fight off the tears, watching him talk and laugh with Baekhyun while you just get ignored.

Suho on the other hand most definitely noticed something was going on because a little while later you see Suho quietly yelling at Kyungsoo.

"I don't care what you did." Suho spits. "Fix it. I refuse to have a hole in our team because one of us is being a dick. Fucking fix it." He murmurs again before walking away.

**

That night you laid in your sleeping bag, wondering if this is what it was going to be like. You having feelings for Kyungsoo, and him taking advantage of it. Fucking you when it's convenient for him and ignoring you the rest of the time. Even after death, life was still so fucked.

You feel something pressing against you from behind. You slowly roll over and see Kyungsoo laying beside you in his sleeping bag.

"Can we talk?" He asks.

You nod your head.

"I." He begins. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I'm sorry for the things I said and for the way I acted when I found out about Jongdae. Its been hard to lose people, and it's even harder to accept new people into the group. You're doing a great job here and we're lucky to have you." He whispers.

"Thank you." You smile. But you really want to know why he ignored you all day. "What was going on today?" You ask.

"I enjoyed last night. I, um, had a girlfriend when this whole thing started. We got out together, we met up with Suho and Baekhyun and Chanyeol and she really helped build alot of this. I lost her a while ago, and it's been hard. I didn't think I would meet anyone, or fall for anyone else and then you came along. I feel guilty for liking you so much, like I'm cheating." He explains. "I was convincing myself it wasn't cheating."

"I get that. I was in a relationship when this thing started. Unfortunately for me, he ended up being one of the ones who received that does of vaccine. I had to leave him in our apartment and take off." You whisper. "You'll always have her memory with you and it's something you'll treasure. I didn't know her, but I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be sad and mourning her."

"You're right." He sighs. "It's hard to let go, but I do like you, Y/N. I want you to know that."

"I like you too." You smile.

The two of you lay there, whispering to eachother, laughing and enjoying the night. You couldn't have asked for anything better.

**

Over the next few weeks, the others had changed. With Chanyeol being gone, it took a toll on Baekhyun. He often sobbed at night, crawling next to you so you could rub his head while he cried. Your heart went out to him.

This life wasn't easy.

Suho had become much more grimmer and sullen. He barks orders at people, never engaging in coversations anymore. He's tired, everyone is tired with very little of hope for the future. Fighting for your lives everyday, scrounging for food and water is a struggle, however none of this stopped you and Kyungsoo from sneaking off when you could to be together.

Neither of you really talked when you weren't fucking and that was okay with you, you knew he still had feelings for you. It was the little things he did for you when no one was looking that reassured you. You both knew that announcing your relationship to Suho and Baekhyun would not end well, so keeping it between the two of you would be the best.

You announced to Baekhyun and Suho that you were going to the river, they both just nodded while Kyungsoo offered to be your watch.

It didn't take long for him to be pulling off your shirt and for you to slide off your pants and panties. Both of you walked into the cool water, soaking yourselves before Kyungsoo pulled you towards him. He lifts you up, letting you put your legs around him as he leans in for a kiss. You can feel his cock sliding against your pussy, waiting to be pushed in. He breaks the kiss, leaning down to pepper kisses along your neck as he thrusts, pushing himself inside of you.

You throw your head back as he holds you, fucking you harshly. There was never time to fuck slow, you always needed to be quick and get it done, just in case.

He pumps himself into you, his hand reaching between you and him, touching your sensitive bud and rubbing while he pounds his cock into you.

"Fuck baby." He groans. "You feel so fucking good."

You hold him close as your orgasm builds, biting your bottom lip and your hands gripping his hair. "Just like that." You breathe. "Don't stop." You grind yourself on him as you begin to cum, intensifying your orgasm. "Oh god yes." You moan, breathing heavily.

"I'm gunna cum." He moans, thrusting harder. Seconds later he releases himself, shooting his cum inside of you, his head resting on you as he catches his own breath.

"Fuck." He breathes pulling out of you. "I love you." He whispers.

You stare at him with wide eyes. This wasn't something you had been expecting at all, considering you did your best to hide the relationship at all costs. "I know it might be too soon, but I do and I need you to know that."

"I love you too." You smile.

You're brought out of your sweet moment when you hear screaming from Baekhyun and Suho. You both rush out of the water and get dressed as quick as you can before running back to camp.

"What?" You breathe. "What happened?"

Baekhyun and Suho grin as they stare at the radio. "Listen!" Baekhyun yells.

“Our dear citizens, to those who have survived. The WHO has created what promises to be a vaccine. We are asking all our citizens to make their way to the nearest hospital facility. Troops are being deployed along with helicopters and planes to transport as needed. Today … we have hope in the world again”

You all burst into tears. You did it, you survived and met some wonderful people. You have a love you had never thought you'd get again.

Kyungsoo embraces you tightly, crying into your shoulder as you do his. Quickly Suho and Baekhyun join your hug, all of you feeling such relief and happiness, for the first time in a long time.

As quick as you all can, you gather what you need to make the trek to find a hospital. You say a quick goodbye to your site that has kept you safe for so long, before taking off, hand in hand with Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun and Suho on either side of you.

It wasn't long into your journey, when you hear the familiar sounds of zombies wandering through the forest. The four of you prepare yourselves for a fight but as they come out, you realize there are more than you all had anticipated. You try to fight your way through the crowd, but somehow you're separated from the group, trying to take on more than you can. The others are distracted, they aren't paying attention to your calls for help. A zombie lunges at you, knocking you back. You're crying loudly but no one is coming to help. The other zombies kneel beside you as you keep trying to fight them off, but one takes a chunk out of your shoulder. You scream in agony as you lose your strength to fight. They're devouring you as you're fading into the darkness. You can hear Kyungsoo yell no and all the pain stops. You see him standing over you as you spit up blood. He's crying over your body, asking you to stay with him but you can't. You're tired of fighting, you want to let go now.

So you do.

You open your eyes and see a film over everything. Your body is sore, the scent of meat makes your mouth water and your stomach cramp. Everything feels stiff but something smells so good. Your hearing is better than ever, picking up the sound of a rapid beating heart and the sound of crying. Wait…Where’s my heart beat? You look with horror at the meat...

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I love you.” You reach out to stop the knife but your body is stiff and I responsive as you watch the knife plunging towards you. It’s me you scream in your head as it all goes dark

There is no happiness in life after death.

[silverrstarrr]

I have a massive headache right now and I'm suffering mentally but you know what can make it better? yuuji 🤨💓 so these are headcanons.

OKAY STARTING OFF BEFORE ANYTHING, I like to base my hcs off of Canon characters.

it's Canon that yuji doesn't really like hoodies, he just wears them on a wim. But if you wanted to do those little "my boyfriend gave me his hoodie" type of thing, he'll be BUYING THOSE MFS.

Yuji also likes TV, so if you guys ever hang out—expect to binge watch shows

I think yuji would be willing to try k-dramas

I also think yuji is a sucker for romance genres 😋

He doesn't say it but I can tell he thinks they're interesting.

He'll pick up things from the show/manga and do them with you

Yes, it's also Canon yuji reads manga. Said so himself 🙄🙏⁉️⁉️

He's literally the perfect guy for a person who likes anime

Eats spicy food

I can see him eating spicy Ramen a lot lol

You'll just come to his room and see his trash bin filled with empty plastic bowls of spicy Ramen

He's talkative

Not in a bad way? At least it's always interesting and funny. Especially because of his face expressions

For me, I typically like people who talk a lot or are extroverts. I only feel comfortable talking a lot around my siblings.

Even if he doesn't show it, yuji not knowing his parents really makes him upset. :/ (IM NOT A MANGA READER***)

Since he likes TV, most definitely plays video games

But he only play passive games such as Animal crossings and minecraft. Roblox...? Eh, but he does have an account.

He also plays Genshin, smash bros and Mario cart.

He mains Kaeya, I don't make the rules.

Texts? Funny asf, he sends memes and reaction photos/videos. I see him sending short messages. Ex:

"Uhhh"

"Wanna go get some"

"Food⁉️😋"

I think Yuji favorite romance anime would be "Say I love you" or "fruits basket".

Again, YUJI LIKES ROMANCE ANIMES

That doesn't mean he's lonely and wants a s/o, he just finds them interesting and very warm/cute

Is a good cook

I mean he used to live by himself? Since his gramps was in the hospital. I doubt all that time he just ate junk and snacks

He also taught megumi how to make meatballs 😋

He likes it when you kiss those scars under his eyes while you run your hands through his hair.

Always uses your lip balm

You pester him to buy his own but he says he keeps forgetting. Which is the half truth, he just like sharing things with you.

Smell? Well...when he's fresh back from a mission—musty as hell💀🙏

Idk, I feel like he seems like the type to smell bad easily because they sweat fast.

His body wash scent is most definitely Hawaiian.

At first he was using yours because he hated how the guy ones smell and the names....

The boys soap: "backwoods grizzly bear balls😈👹⁉️🐻🦾🦅💀👺 " vs the girls: "sweet vanilla flower field ☺😚💗🌸🦄🦋🌺"

Itadori refuses to smell like a bear's ballsack cause wtf.

You got tired of finding your soap 1/4 everytime you were about to use it

So you started buying him his own soap

You didn't want to him to smell to girlish, so you settled on a neutral scent; Hawaiian.

Ever since then, he's been buying that scent

Ofc he didn't care if he smelled like a "girl".

Yuji would just shrug it off and say it smells nice

Most definitely likes to kiss your neck

Sometimes you'll just be chilling in his lap and his lips are all over you.

He even leaves hickies/markings

When you asked him about them, he just scratched the back of head and said "uuhh."

Yuji isn't a possessive person but it doesn't hurt to show a little every now and then

He placed them there to mark what was his

Doesn't care what you wear at all! He's so amazed and would egg you on to buy more outfits like that.

But in public, he'll wrap his arm around your waist just incase people were looking at you.

Sukuna doesn't talk much to you.

Only to say comments to yuji that's all.

Likes feeling your body BUT NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY

You two could literally be cuddling and he'll slide his hand up your shirt and leave it there, some time he'll cup your breast.

Hes a small soon but doesn't mind big spoon.

Grabs your ass randomly.

In public, he'll walk past and give it a little squeeze and pretend nothing happened.

UHHH NSFW WARNING?

Yuji is a switch for sureeeee

I always have this image in my head when yuji is sitting down in a chair while we're hovering over him, jacking him off as we're making out🙏🏃🏾‍♀️💨

then his face is all hot and bother UAGWGEHEHEH. God, I wish I was blessed with the ability to write good smut.

He has a thing for mutal masturbation

Or he'll tell you to sit on his lap as he fingers you while whispering sweet praises into your ear.

"You're doing so good baby, cum all over my fingers—m'kay? "

Has a huge praise Kink, TELL THAT BOY HES DOING A GOOD JOB HE DESERVES IT😭♡

he's down for whatever. I feel like he would try out everything you wanna do, even if he thinks he won't like it.

I dont he'll be into pegging? But he MIGHT try it.

Most definitely likes ball gags, maybe tie him up even.

Likes when you edge him

He's also a big fan of giving.

I feel like he cares more about pleasing you than himself.

He enjoys eating you out more than fingering.

Despite being an ass guy, he likes missionary a lot.

That doesn't mean he won't do doggy style every now and then

Likes it when you ride him, reverse cowgirl 🙄🙏

You know how some guys don't really moan during seggs? They just groan/grunt well that's not yuji.

Baby's a moaner <3

He doesn't really realized how much of an affect he has on your body.

He could be overestimulating you but too busy focusing on how cute your little mewls are and you squirming under him.

Only after you're a complete mess and breathing heavily, he realizes what he does to your body. "Damn, I really did that?😦"

He would literally finger you under the desk at school and wouldn't even care.

You're up there twitching while you're trying to write notes.

When the teacher calls on you, his pace will speed up.

Once you're done, he'll use your underwear to wipe his fingers off.

After class you'll ask him why he did that and he'll just respond with "hm? What?😦"

The bad thing is, his composure is completely normal and calm. He doesn't seem guilty in the slightest.

He just grabs your hand and pulls you down the hall, asking if you'll hang out with him completely discarding what he's done in classroom 😭

Has a thing for creampies

I feel like Yuji comes a heavy load 😭 so be prepared to fill completely full by the first round.

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿

Okay, that's all folks for today. 🤨 I'll write more about yuuji and maybe even a smut one shot when I get the hang of writing it 😭. I wouldn't mind HELP AT ALL (I'm actually asking for help, I need guidance 😋).

Imma take some advil for this headache, cause man. Thank you for reading! I also take request. 👀

[tedturneriscrazy]

🎶Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door🎵

I wonder if anything will happen in this episode.🙂

(I say as if I didn't watch the episode twice before going to bed and writing this post)

I don't think I'll ever not be amused by the way Hooty just...does things with his face

Seems like he found a thesaurus at some point

Okay so it's canonically spelled "Hootsifer," good to know

Also, this is really all we get of Lilith, huh?

His little hoot/coo at Lilith's letter❤❤❤

To borrow a meme format: If I had a nickel for every time Alex Hirsch was involved in a show where one of the characters was experiencing pubescent voice cracks, I'd have two nickels, which isn't very much but it's weird that it happened twice

Eda's face🤣

As much as this bit is played for laughs, Eda's clearly still shaken by what happened last episode

Jeez, Luz, priorities /j

Pictured: Hooty

The way King talks about being pelleted implies this is something Hooty does on the regular

Hooty's plan to help King is literally a Buzzfeed quiz? Okay then

Betcha never expected lore from Hooty, eh?

"DO NOT INTERRUPT"

Officially a "type of worm"

The dance being a grievous insult wasn't exactly from nowhere, but still funny nonetheless

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING COCCOON

Tiny Nose playing Switch definitely seems to be drawing from Dana's real life experiences

Wait, Hooty and Tiny Nose are friends?

Well shit, turns out she could use magic this whole time. Guess her going Super Saiyan wasn't just the power glyph.

I am extremely skeptical of your medical credentials, TN

I have so many questions about the methodology they used for the blood test(s)

I think Hooty may have misinterpreted what King was looking for

I'm still amazed at how King has had, and continues to have, moments in the show with some of the greatest emotional weight

Ooh, sound powers!

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRUMBLE!!!"

It just occurred to me that that segment consisted mostly of Alex Hirsch talking to himself

Hello not-at-all obvious setup

Today I learned that Hooty is the baker of the house. Maybe he'd critique Amity's fairy pie.

Aaaaand there's the sleep inducing

Oh shit

In hindsight the Owl Beast being part of a dream sequence is rather obvious

Wow, Eda, tell us how you really feel about the Owl Beast

Oh we're just gonna ride aboard the Trauma Express today, huh?

Oh, I guess Lilith did make an appearance, after all

Damn, Gwen, not even looking

Oh shit dad issues

Sandy Cohen?! (To anyone who gets that reference, hi. How are your 30s treating you?)

Well, I know who Peter Gallagher voices now, anyway

Oh dear...

(Also, bright flashing lights triggering the curse? There's an epilepsy allegory in here somwhere)

Blood and eye injury? Gotta stretch that Y7 rating

Now we have some context for that look on Eda's face when Lilith mentioned their dad: good old fashioned guilt!

I desparately want to make a "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" joke, but I'm better than that

New memory! Raine!

Oh no...

I get the feeling I'll hate this part, too

They were exes!😢 Guess the fandom called that one

The reasoning for them being exes is understandable, all too real, and goddamn heartbreaking

That said, the fact they never stopped loving each other🥺😢😭

I do hope we can see Raine again under less...traumatic circumstances. Maybe that wedding that was mentioned?

Oh shit, are we getting into the Owl Beast's memories?!?! What a tweest!

Bet nobody expected Cloaked Moonface to show up in the frickin Hooty episode

(Also, holy shit I briefly forgot this was the Hooty episode)

Who is this mysterious cloaked figure? And why are they so tall and long?

So the curse was a sealed beast this whole time. Damn.

And it was just picked up as beach junk to sell as a trinket. So much for it being connected to Belos. (Not that people will stop trying to do so)

Who had "experiencing sympathy for the Owl Beast" on their Bingo cards for this episode? Yeah, me neither.

And here we have the necessary Eda coming to terms with her curse segment. More accurately, Eda and the curse coming to terms with each other.

Goddamnit why does it have to be cute

"It's like sandpaper" IT'S LIKE A CAT I FUCKING CAN'T

Insert Steamed Hams reference here to kill the mood

New transformation!

Oh no she's hot!

No, Hooty, you made it surprisingly much, much better!

She might have a problem pushing people away and holding onto guilt, but Eda always knows that she looks damn good

Oh right, Luz having girl problems. Fuck, so much is happening in this episode!

"Cotton-candy-haired Goddess" LUZ! 🤣

Attuned to other people's emotions = being a fucking creeper

Oh Luz, what happened to you back home?

Also, 99.999% certain Amity would love your cheesiness

That's...rather morbid, Hooty

So much lore development, including the fact the Owl House has a basement

Classic inanimate object silhouette fakeout gag. Subversion in 3...2...1...

There it is!

I can't imagine being pelleted is a fun experience.

Honestly I have so many questions about how Hooty got Amity there in the first place, but I'm not so sure I actually want to know the answers to any of them...

Cue much panicking

Wow, I'm really getting some Into the Bunker flashbacks

Oh this is gonna be amazing isn't it

I commend Luz for not actually dropping dead of embarrassment

Seriously, how can Hooty set all this up so fast yet not hold a pen?!?!?!

Poor Luz, she thinks this is destroying her chances

Meanwhile Amity is just "Oh, Titan, is this actually happening?!"

The way she's fixing her hair!❤

Goddamnit Luz let this play out, she's so clearly into this!

"Again?!" Okay who do I have to kill?

Luz is luzing it

Nooooooo....

JUST TALK FOR FUCK'S SAKE (aka how like 95% of issues in literally any plot could be solved)

Noooo Amity's so heartbroken right now💔

This isn't what either of them wanted!

To be fair, Hooty, Luz had a part in this too. Not that she can be blamed entirely. Poor thing clearly had some awful experiences back home...

Now Hooty is McFucking losing it

Why did I think he was gonna say "Looks like I'm gonna have to JUMP!" I think I've watched too much Homestar Runner (jk there's no such thing)

Those pulsating organs are still gross

Eda swooping in to save her son (No, really, he actually is now)

I'll say things get weird when Hooty gets upset!

Yes, King! Save them with your voice powers!

Damn that is some romantic lighting, and Luz is enjoying the eye candy (cotton candy, if you will)

Luz's reaction to Harpy!Eda is the family-friendly summation of how the fandom has reacted.

Hooty really just tearing up the landscape in remorse

Mother-daughter moment about love life!

I appreciate not just Eda's encouragement but her actually asking Luz what she wanted

God, Eda is best mom

Also, OH FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING?!

OH SHIT

THESE ADORABLY AWKWARD NERDS❤💜💙

"I'm not as cool as you think" could be interpreted as self-deprecating, but here it seems...oddly reassuring?

The way Luz eloquently says how she wants Amity in her future...beautiful❤

Luz making some good faces

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU CUTE DORKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

THERE IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS

WE WERE LOSING OUR SHIT OVER A PECK ON THE CHEEK THREE WEEKS AGO AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE HOLY FUCK

Awkwardness is still there, but that's to be expected

BET Y'ALL DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TRAILER SHOT TO BE IN THE HOOTY EPISODE HUH

THE WAY LUZ RUBS AMITY'S HAND😭😭😭😭😭

(And yeah, it's gonna still be scary, but only because it promises to be so wonderful)

Let's give it up for Hootsifer, goddamn!

Let'a also appreciate just how fucking funny it is that Lumity becomes official in the Hooty episode

Fus ro WEH!

Hooty actually saying "Luz's new GF" out loud...

In just about any other show the love interests getting together would be a climax/culmination of the entire plot. Here? It's actually used to advance the plot, and that is brilliant!

Dana Terrace and the crew really just knocking it out of the park again and again, huh

"They're adorable, and deserve all the happiness!" Well said, Hootsifer. Well said.

Probably for the best they had Hooty promise that. As much as what happened/progressed, there was a lot of property damage.

OH SHIT ONCE AGAIN

King's dad/relative! And he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson!

GODDAMNIT HOOTY

Wow. Just...wow. This episode.

King has voice powers! Harpy!Eda! Lumity are girlfriends for real!!!!

How do you pack so much into a single episode?! And so expertly?!

I had my suspicions before, but this confirms it: The Owl House is the greatest show of all time.

And we have two episodes left until the hiatus! And 11 episodes in the season after that! What are we in for?!?!?!

I, for one, can't wait to find out!