#I don't know I don't think it's worth it basically

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

Was talking with a client tonight (the one who I'm basically talking through coming out) and she keeps doing the "oh what if I only want to be a girl sometimes :(((( actually I don't tooooootally hate being a man every second of my waking life, sometimes I dont feel anything at all" and then she was like "ask me if I want to be a girl" and i responded with "do you want to be a woman," and like her answer to those two questions were obviously very different and I think it speaks to the fact that like, we internally know and understand the stakes of transition, right?

Like we understand that by doing the thing for real, by becoming a transsexual or by coming out at work or in our larger lives that we become a target and the way the world interacts with us is going to fundamentally change. Many of us were acted upon as faggots before we came out, but many of us weren't. For some of us, it is a much larger step down than others.

But no matter what our lives were like before, once we start to do the damn thing, the world is going to act upon us as women. And it's easy to stick in the fantasy--a life of being oneself without all that, living in our mind palace where we get to be 'girls' without having to be women--but until we actually acknowledge and accept what transition means for us materially, we have no hope of actually achieving it.

And once we do accept that, the question becomes "is it worth it?" For many of us, the answer is quite clear--the other choice was death by one form or another. But for others, especially those of us who are slightly older, the question becomes more difficult. There may be something for us to lose here. And if you fall into that second group, I ask you this:

Sure, you can live with it. You can keep going, as you have proved yourself able to do for however long you have done it thus far. You may be able to keep yourself stuffed in a box, only taking yourself out for the odd hour here and the odd hour there. You can keep going as you are. But do you want to? Is external ease worth more than internal peace?

They say courage is not 'acting without fear,' but rather 'acting despite fear.' Transition is scary and I can't deny that. But I think you have it within yourself to be courageous.

[ann3ofabyss4lred]

SPOILERS FOR CLSSS OF 09: FLIPSIDE..

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I'm disappointed in flipside...was worth it show us foot fetish? Jecka being s3xu4lly traff1cked? Like they didn't implied it ..they showed her half naked..very draw in detail..they showed her body naked when she off herself. Nicole sitting and putting her feet on Jecka's dad's mouth????....it was misery p0rn...it also feel like the creator disliked how much people were saying "oh the girls are so cool".. like they wanted to criticized men but also paint the girls from using men as hypocrites?? So they butchered their characters?..Idk..now looking back at it..there were things that I disliked about the first game...but didn't see right well with me... Like there are red flags..even if Nicole is really depressed and Jecka too. They acted like "I want to be d3pr3ssed..I'm making a d3pr3ssed playlist on iTunes" "if I fake this disorders" u know for the audience to laugh at them as if they weren't really depressed...(not saying they aren't..NICOLE AND JECKA ARE REALLY DEPRESSED) ..but there's q lots of people ..that believe girls love to pretend they have disorders...as misogynistic and ableist it is..some people think that way..that's why they put it there as humor...

I think they had luck on flipside because instead of saying "ha they hypocrites,many girls empathized with the fictional girls in some way..or don't feel them bad about those men being used...because they were bad and they still see the girls as victims...even if they aren't good people" and they didn't shame Nicole for being misandrist and was always proven right.

I don't know how to redact this shit..it does feel like they criticized society...but also...get off on misandrist girls....and many stuff feels for shock value..more than actual criticizing or creative comebacks...

In flipside is basically disguised fetish...and do have in mind some men get off misandrist girls..(aside from the real valid reason to be misandrist like s3xu4l trauma) like some boys and men get off or also mock (or both) women reduce them to "u guys only play videogames and do anything thing for s3x".

So just disappointed in the game.i did got bad vibes on the first game..but didn't see about it..also we got queerbaited with Jecka and Ari...and have in mind this written by a weirdo and a man..

Also the joke of "was it q Pakistani or Palestinian Man traff1cking me" was not it..

Maybe I'll do q post explaining why flipside was disguised fetish and why I got those vibes from the first game but not very high..

Still love Jeckole and any girl pairing there..except Nicole and Ari...

READ THE REBLOG...THERES SHITTY THINFS ABOUT THE CREATOR

[brotherwtf]

Did you see the new pics of Austin Butler as a bartender that just dropped? I know @anachilles has written Gale as a Bartender but after seeing those pics I want more !!

Burnt out Jhon going to the bar nearly everyday just to flirt with the handsome bartender. He sits in the counter every night and strikes up a random conversation. Gale tries to be professional at first but he also likes the company and they slowly become friends

OMG YES YES AUSTIN LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD HES SO BIG IM TEARING AT MY WALLS

but yes @anachilles has so many fantastic scenes with bartender Gale (go read whiskey neat, coffee black, there will be homework) but I would LOVE to share some of my hcs for bartender Gale

but yes, John who goes to the bar every night to wash away the feelings of the day, maybe he's a burnt out football or baseball player (caught stealing? omg the parallels) who's just looking for a spark to motivate him to keep going on, and he finds it in the absolute unit of a bartender that had started working there

John can't stop looking at his arms when he's cleaning glasses or when he's wiping down tables, secretly wonders what they would taste like under his tongue, basically he just sits there the first couple of nights and ogles this bartender, can't keep his eyes off of him

one night, he asks John what he wants to drink and John responds stupidly with "something strong like you, you got a name along with your muscles?" and oh when he flushes? John could get used to this

every night he orders the same thing, three fingers of whiskey under the guise of something strong, and it loosens his tongue enough for him to strike up conversations with the bartender while there is a lull in customers

John learns his name is Gale and he just moved to Wisconsin from Wyoming and that he has a dog named meatball, but honestly John just loves to talk to him, even through a tipsy haze he can't get enough of the way Gale shakes his head every time John makes a dumb joke, the way he hides his laugh behind his hand when he doesn't want John to see that it's worked, God John thinks he's finally found something worth living for

Gale almost never gave in or acknowledged John's flirting, but a couple of times he'll respond with a flirty quip of his own and John will just be stunned into silence, left only with a dopey expression and a stupid smile on his face

John will stay until they close, often stopping after a few rounds of drinks and just likes to talk, likes Gales company, and Gale would be the last person to admit that he likes the company too

the first time they kiss is when John walks Gale to his car after his shift, insisting that he's there to protect Gale even though he's perfectly fine on his own. and even when they get to Gale's car they just kind of stay there, aren't really intent on going anywhere, don't really want to leave the other persons presence

Gale moves to get in his car but John surges forward, kissing him gently because he knows if he doesn't do it now he'll regret it forever. And Gale's shocked, but it doesn't stop him from pressing back into John's face and kissing him again

anyway, John still goes to the bar every night, but it's mostly just to see his boyfriend and drop things off for him, giving him a little kiss and telling him he can't wait for Gale's shift to be over so he can kiss him more (Gale absolutely loves it)

[littleragondin]

After Sundown (2023)

Synopsis:

Saengrawee has spent his life in the temple with Luang Lung Chanthakorn. When he turns 21, Parit – an old friend of the monk – comes to take him away, to live in Phra Nahkon with Parit’s family. As he settles in the mansion, Rawee starts getting plagued with nightmares, and visions of a ghost. Parit’s grandson, Praphloeng, comes back to Thailand at his parents’ demand. They worry about a prophecy who warns that if Phloeng does not bind his life to a soulmate by the time he turns 25, his life will be in grave danger. Said soulmate can’t be from Phra Nahkon, nor be a woman (according to mdl). Luckily, Rawee fits the bill, and despite their mutual dislike, the two men accept the ceremony. But while they learn to live with each other, and Phloeng’s presence is able to soothe Rawee’s nightmares, the ghost’s apparent grudge against Rawee only seems to deepen …

this shot is just too pretty

Non-spoilery review:

It was not a very good movie, all in all. I think it worked with a lot of ideas that, while not necessarily groundbreaking, were good enough to make a nice romance and an interesting horror story. The reluctant soulmates/fake marriage tropes are beloved for a reason, and can make for a compelling journey. The newcomer in the house mysteriously targeted by a ghost that seems to know him is also pretty classic, and when used well can be ground for a good, creepy mystery. The problem here is that imo, the execution was sub-par.

To begin with, the horror is not well integrated to the story. While I liked all the ghost scenes – tense and efficient, and in 720p at night the ghost freaked me the fuck out let me tell you – they were not well integrated into the story. Outside of those specific scenes, there is no sense of something terrifying happening to the main protagonist of the story, he doesn’t seem worried not curious about any of it, focused as he is on his romance.

And that’s where for me, it went from ‘not great’ to ‘not good’. Because with how much time is spent on the romantic parts of the story, I still can’t believe how little development happens. They are reluctant to even be in the same room a moment, and straight up acting like a married couple the next with absolutely nothing to justify this. Zee and NuNew share a lot of soft, romantic scenes, but they felt disconnected from each other, and because there is no showing of their feelings gradually changing those scenes, for me, lacked any emotional impact. That said, the two of them work well together, and the chemistry was chemistring alright when they were on screen. Still, with characters that don’t have a big personality and a scenario that has trouble holding itself together, there is only so much chemistry can do.

So yeah, for me After Sundown failed both as a horror and as a romance movie. I had no emotional investment in anything happening (which also made the reveal/conclusion at the end fall flat), the pacing was not good and actor performances alone (which were mostly good across the board) could not save this one.

Tl;dr: I gave this one 5/10. I would only recommend it if you really really really miss Zee and NuNew and just want to see them act cute with each other while not being bothered by the absence of actual story and the presence of a few good jump scares. Also if you just want to see Nammon wet and shirtless, just skip to 1:12:00 =3

Below the read more, I will go a little more into the reveal at the end, as well as a few pet peeves I got through the movie. It will be full of spoilers.

The reveal about the ghost:

I hated how we got nothing about the ghost during the whole movie except that she thought Rawee was someone else (the monk/his uncle) and wanted to kill him for it, and then 20 minutes before the end you get that huge, 10-minutes long info dumping flashback explaining who she is, what her relation to both the family and Rawee’s uncle is, how she died and why she is so vengeful. My first thought was ‘that’s a movie I would have liked to see’, followed by tons of ideas on how it could have been, you know, actually made part of the movie and not just stacked at the end like an after thought. 1 hour 20 minutes in, and you have no notion that there was a tragedy in that house, that Parit has A Mysterious Past regarding his sppuse, or that the ghost is actually linked to the family in any kind of way. It’s fine if you don’t want the protagonist to find out until the very end, but there should be stuffs to clue us, the audience, in, otherwise the reveal comes and you’re like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ okay I guess. Show us a picture of her in the house, maybe hidden away so we know Something Is Afoot, have some of those final flashbacks interwoven into Rawee’s nightmares (maybe make it so they’re misleading, showing her under a different light). Make the scene where Parit comes to the temple and meet the monk, after all those years, far, far more charged so I can feel that they’re not just old acquaintances but share something so much deeper. That they share both love and guilt. Just mention the fact that Phloeng's father never really knew his mother, that she died when he was small and I don't know, maybe they Don't Talk About Her Anymore. Give me something basically.

Also, at least Parit and Luang Lung Chanthakorn were aware of what was happening/who she was, and no one ever thought of, oh, I don’t know, do something about it? Warn the guys?? Why on earth did the monk say yes to sending Rawee back there knowing what the fuck happened in there and the responsibility he had in it? Come on.

Smaller things and Pet Peeves:

Ok this one is just for, like, random grievances I had with the movie.

First of all, Rawee’s lack of curiosity. You don’t have to make him an amateur detective, but that guy who grew up in a temple (so I assume at least a little spiritual) starts having nightmares and visions and doesn’t question it for a second? Doesn’t think oh, maybe there is something going on, maybe if I find out what the spirit wants and why, I could get rid of it? Nothing? I know my own curiosity is probably skewing my opinion but I wanted to shake him and beg him to ask even one goddamn question! Please!!

The “secondary couple”. Okay, so, this one ties up more to the romance aspect of things. We set up Pudson to be a sort of rival to Rawee, the spurned, jealous boy who hates the one who took Phloeng away, but there is never… I mean I’m pretty sure we never see him and Phloeng in a scene together, even, and all of this amount to nothing. Never actually hurts Rawee, never confronts him or tries to actually get Phloeng, this never leads to any tensions between Rawee and Phloeng… Then Kraiphop, the chauffeur, who is being so nice to Rawee and who makes Phloeng jealous once. Less of an actual rival to Phloeng, he’s presented more like a kind man who might help Phloeng realizes that he actually like Rawee. But the jealousy scene happens after we have seen them basically act chummy and nice to each other so it doesn’t work either. And then!! 35 minutes before the end, we get thrown a bone that oh maybe Kraiphop actually kinda likes Pudson, who may fall too, but that’s so brief, and then completely left hanging, I don’t see the point of having those characters. And I say that when it gives us Nammon shirtless and wet, so you can imagine…

Finally, and those are both the smallest and the most annoying of all (alright I might push it a little). That single voiceover we have maybe a third in?? There is that breakfast moment where Rawee’s voice says something along the line of ‘uh, since I sleep by Phloeng’s side the nightmares are gone and then there is never EVER another voiceover during the whole movie? Could you not have found another way to show not tell this? This irked me so bad lol

And then, MDL tells me it’s supposed to happen in 1961, and while the (very cool) car Phloeng rides seems to agree, the rest of the aesthetic screams Khun Chai to me (not just because it’s the same house I swear) which is 1942-something so like … two decades earlier. It’s not a lot but it added some confusion post viewing I guess.

[silusvesuius]

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

[crescentfool]

does anyone else want to stick these two in the same room together or is that just me... i simply think they are adjacent in vibes... (+a bonus thing???)

get u a fictional guy that makes you feel like this... seeing these guys just evoke a Similar Kind of Brain Chemical and Response. Help Me.

also have bonus yosuke doodle featuring the same brushes used here...! from january 23rd, lol.

[coquelicoq]

you reread raksura after reading murderbot and you realize that the kethel in the last book is murderbot from an outside POV. like they don't have the same personality obviously, but if the murderbot books were told from the perspective of, say, eletra from the corporation rim, she'd be talking about secunits the way that all the protagonists of the raksura books talk about the fell. which i feel really conflicted about. you write a five-book series (plus two books of short stories) with a biologically evil race and in the later books start deconstructing it and being like "hey maybe our narrators aren't exactly reliable on this point" but by then it's kind of too late imo. idk. she's doing something interesting here but i don't know if it works.

[tippenfunkaport]

It will never not piss me off that 80s She-Ra toys were action figures but when they went to make toys for 2018 She-Ra, they would only give us fashion dolls.

How did they learn nothing from the popularity of their own toyline?

Literally, three decades passed and somehow sexism in toys got WORSE.

[lieutenantselnia]

Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹

[sysig]

Hey. Read Roundabout. Love Awesome. (Patreon)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...

[giantkillerjack]

ur post about queerbaiting and the dismissal of people in fandom to critical analysis is so incredibly true thank you. i feel like marcille's writing in the anime has been super misogynistic a lot of the time and every time i bring this up all anyone wants to say is "well maybe this isn't for you! and you shouldn't watch the show!" like. i don't think this is about taste lmao, i am analyzing the text in front of me and coming to conclusions about the craft of it.

[This is in reference to this post]

YES!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

It is so so frustrating!!!!

It's like being at a restaurant and being served a bunch of delicious appetizers, but then one of the bread appetizers is literally just a plate of crumbs; and then when you're like, "Hey, uhh, why are we being served literal crumbs?", a bunch of the other folks eating at the restaurant are like,

"WELL HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DON'T EAT HERE THEN??!? YOU MUST NOT BE THAT HUNGRY, SO JUST FIND ANOTHER RESTAURANT AND DON'T EAT WITH US!!"

And maybe they say it politely, but "Aw, sorry, maybe this restaurant just isn't for you 💖" is just trading out an aggressive dismissive tone for a patronizing dismissive tone. It's the same message.

And it's like! I was honestly happy to move on from the crumbs once my complaint was acknowledged because the meal overall is still delicious, but then all these folks got SUPER WEIRD AND DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT, so now I find myself double-checking all the other dishes -- and, actually, you know what those eggs DO look a Iittle misogynistic undercooked!!!!

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Honestly, my stance on antisemites is that I wish for them what they wish for jews. If you are willing to give up your sense of humanity as a trade-in for the hatred and destruction of your fellow human, it seems like a fair price to pay. I've gotten caught up in, generally, finding any way to treat antisemites better than they treat us/jews as a whole, but... they are the ones who traded in a piece of humanity for a selfish, ulterior motive.

[gingerteaonthetardis]

calling tumblr 'hard to use' because it doesn't directly funnel slop into your eyeballs and you're allowed to curate your own experience is frankly incredible to me. like, that's not a fucking bug. that's the only feature that makes this website worth using

[my-thirteenth-reason]

kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)

[tobi-smp]

one of the stranger discourses I've ever seen on this website is one that was relatively inconsequential and harmless, but nevertheless lives within my mind rent free

the mob psycho 100 fandom had a push where they reminded the fans that a lot of mob's traits are very much so autistic coded (intentionally or otherwise), and of course that one of the main themes of the story is about mob's growth as a character and his Coming Of Age. and so we (meaning the fandom) should be aware of and avoid infantilization.

and while on the one hand I do think that's a good point that should be said. but on the other hand mob was very much so a middle school boy.

I do get the feeling that there's a disconnect between people who watched the show as teenagers who see mob as on the cusp on adulthood and people who watched the show as an adult who are very much so aware of his age and how it impacts basically everything about the story.

finding mob Cute In A Kid Way is not inherently infantilizing on account of he is 14 years old