#I don't know if that qualifier makes it more or less awkward.

[demonslayedher]

What if nezuko and tanjiro were raised by Obanai and Mitsuri?

Whoa, I have never considered this. Let's assume an altered timeline, so, say, itty-bitty Tanjiro hid with almost-walking Nezuko in a closet when a demon killed their parents. Mitsuri and Obanai, who like one another and have sort of figured that out by they are awkward about where to take it from there (since Mitsuri doesn't want to make the first move but can't figure out why Obanai won't), arrive on the scene, and Kaburamaru finds the hiding children.

Mitsuri is instantly attached and wants very badly to make it up to these orphaned children whom she failed. Obanai is trying to tell her why that idea is irresponsible, but Kaburamaru has already become fiercely attached to the terrified children who find comfort in the cuddly snake. It's not as if Obanai can't relate to that, so he gives in, on the caveat that they will take care of them only until they can hand them off to someone more qualified.

They're first thought is Shinobu, but she already has her hands full. They ask the Kakushi, but the Kakushi insist that this is out of their skill set. They think of asking Ubuyashiki but don't want to bother him by setting a precedent. No luck at Wisteria Houses they come across, who are already doing all they can. Wishing to find someone with experience to adopt them, Obanai makes a desperate visit to Shinjuro, who yells at him to take responsibility and get what was coming to him by so idealistically becoming a swordsman. He announces to Mitsuri (who is already very attached) that they'll see their responsibility through.

Since the Kamado children stay at the Kanroji estate most of the time, this is what gets Obanai to finally meet her family, which pressures them more into considering the state of their relationship, especially they Obanai spends time with the children out of a sense of responsibility and Mitsuri, once the decision to keep them was made, wants to spend as much free time with them as possible. Being in a coparent relationship also forces them to confront Obanai's issues.

Both toddlers take to Mitsuri readily, and they like Obanai too, but they both (especially Tanjiro, who can talk better) are sensitive to him being sad. Obanai is nice and tries to be child-appropriate but answers very plainly and honestly when Tanjiro asks why he's sad, thinking that this is out of respect for a child's intellect. Poor Tanjiro wants to help but is often confused. Obanai is a little annoyed how buddy-buddy Tanjiro and Kaburamaru are but he allows it. As Tanjiro grows up and the snake gets older, Kaburamaru spends less and less time in battle with Obanai. Tanjiro is a dutiful son whom Obanai figures pucked up a lot of traits from being raised by Mitsuri, but he reminds Tanjiro to always be grateful to his original family who loved and protected him too. This makes him supportive (albeit concerned for his safety) when Tanjiro says he wants to fight demons too. Tanjiro eventually picks up Snake Breathing, though Obanai points out that he's not totally suited for it. (If it weren't for how annoying he finds Giyuu, he would suggest Tanjiro try Water Breathing.)

Mitsuri is less supportive because she worries about Tanjiro's safety. He is her wonderful son whom she loves very much, after all. But if he's sure he can accept the risks, she allows him to try.

Nezuko has grown up babied by her unckes and aunts and does not know the responsibility of being an older sister. She always wants to be just like her mom (but Obanai sternly put a stop her dressing up like mom, which made little Nezuko cry because she didn't understand why he was angry). She wears fancy kimono and makes sweets and wears long braids and goes to school, and is a dutiful and sweet daughter as she grows up. Despite having riches, this does seem to go to her head, and she still practices humilty and thrift, which really endears her to Obanai. He originally was a bit more standoffish from Nezuko, but Nezuko feels secure in his care for her even if it's nothing like the open, loving, huggy relationship she has with her adoptive mother. When Tanjiro picks up the sword, she insists on learning too, but Tanjiro and Mitsuri don't want this. Obanai lets her give it a shot, but she's too fiery for Snake Breath, and not physically capable of Love Breath, despite how much she has always done her best to imitate mom.

So Nezuko finally does something a spoiled brat would do and she runs away to ask Uncle Kyojuro for Flame Breath training. This causes a brief argument between Hashira but it is soon settled, and Tanjiro sort of wishes he had thought of that before getting so deep into making Snake Breath work for him. Tanjiro & Kaburamaru and Nezuko eventually go through the Final Selection together and begin a sibling journey to avenge their birth parents, with their adoptive parents giving them their blessing and watching over them from afar.

And then, having seem that through, Obanai is finally ready to get married.

[bropunzeling]

i wish you would write a fic where Leon gets traded to the Senators, and it's awkward for him to get to know Brady when he used to bang his brother... Not to mention the team is a total mess... But then, against all odds, the team starts doing really well and he makes friends with Brady who is always telling him good things about Matthew and eventually they reconnect and it's as hot as always but with more potential than ever

oh wHAT a CONCEPT. i think there could be something really fun and good where like - sens are on the bubble to maybe make the playoffs. leon is old (for hockey) and has an ankle at 90%, around 65% of the time. he can’t fault the business decision (in public) (he isn't fully signed on in private but he can say the right things for reporters and that’s good enough), but it's not a great feeling to get dumped in ottawa at 36 and start your life over again.

i think he and brady could have some weird friction to start - they're just SUCH different personalities - but eventually leon figures things out, they find their rhythm, it starts feeling less weird to be captained by anyone other than connor. tim's hero worship has faded a little in light of a few international tournaments under their belts and that helps too. he's figuring out his spot on this team, and fuck if he's not gonna do his best to help drag them all over the finish line and at least qualify for the playoffs, make a respectable showing. prove he’s not old and washed up.

he has to admit how bizarre it is to be around brady and his family, though, because like -- leon remembers back before, when he and matthew were sneaking around, carefully carefully uncovering these sides of each other beyond what they could do between the sheets. he remembers lying in bed, head on matthew's shoulder as he absently checked instagram, told leon all about brady and his girlfriend, how cute they were together, how brady had been saying he might propose. remembers matthew texting him about that, and then, a few minutes later, about the trade that would eventually lead to everything they did together falling apart.

so it's weird to get to know brady now, like this. weird to meet his wife and kids. weird to hear brady tell a story about him and matthew and taryn and have to bite his tongue because he's heard it before.

weird when by some miracle the senators make it through the first round and the panthers don't. weird to come by for dinner at brady's, only for matthew to be the one opening the door.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

are Lex and Sarah actually going to have The Talk she mentioned in this (https://www.tumblr.com/befuddled-calico-whump/734559110463389696/feel-totally-free-to-ignore-this-butive-been)? and if yes, how would it go?

previous part

cw: alcoholism (discussed), past trauma/implied noncon (discussed), adult language

•°•°•

Lex was silent as Sarah made breakfast, eyes firmly locked on the table. It was almost noon when she'd finally made it downstairs; staying awake until who-knew-when to wait up for the assassin had really taken a toll on her sleep schedule. Not that she'd be able to fall asleep anyway without the confirmation he was back safe and sound.

Akeela and Hugo had already eaten and were working on scouring some new leads---well, Hugo was scouring leads while Akeela antagonized him---and Rosie, nocturnal as ever, would probably be in bed until mid afternoon. Which meant it was just her an Lex for the morning meal.

Now that she thought about it, this might've been the first time she'd seen him sitting at the table at all.

Was it because of last night? Did he even remember last night? Her promise to talk in the morning? If that's what he was hanging around for, she didn't know how to proceed. It was good, good he wanted to talk, to address the drinking problem no one wanted to acknowledge, but she wasn't qualified for this kind of thing. She didn't want to screw up; give him some kind of fucked-up advice that would only make everything worse for him.

At the same time, it felt like he was finally relaxing around her. He'd let her touch him last night. Hug him. Hell if she hadn't wanted to do that a hundred times in the past.

From you, it's okay.

His heart had beat so fast when she wrapped her arms around him, and even as attuned as she was to listening, Sarah still couldn't tell if it was anxiety at being touched, or... Or something else.

She sighed, turning off the stove and scraping scrambled eggs from frying pan to paper plate. It wasn't allowed to be something else. They didn't have time for something else, not now, and she couldn't waste energy on hopeful nothings when she had a team to keep alive.

Besides, there was a bigger elephant in the room that needed to be addressed.

"So," she began as she set a plate in front of Lex. "You still wanna talk?"

He didn't make a move on the eggs. She didn't even know if he liked scrambled eggs, but they were cheap, and quick, and easy, and he needed to eat something.

"I..." he swallowed, picking up a fork, poking at the food, not taking a bite. "Yeah. Think I do."

"Okay." Shit. Should she sit down? Stay standing? What was the best way to make this feel less awkward, less like an accusation or a lecture? She settled for leaning against the back of a chair, right across from him.

"So." She bit her lip. "Drinking."

Fuck, she was already blowing it. What would happen if she said something wrong enough? Would he run away? Would he ever come back?

"It's funny," Lex said, stirring the eggs, not looking up. "I keep thinking this conversation would be easier if I was drunk."

Sarah nodded. "I guess they usually are. Or, I mean, they seem easier. But all it really does is create distance, y'know? Everything is still just as hard when that distance fades away."

"I know."

He fidgeted with the fork, she fidgeted with her glasses. Neither of them seemed to know what to say next.

"I know it's stupid," Lex said at last. "And dangerous."

"Yeah. It is."

"And... And it's selfish. Risking your team like that."

"That's not..." Sarah sighed, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "You're on my team, Lex. Okay? I know it can be a risk to the rest of us if you're careless on your way home, but right now I'm just worried about you."

"Why?"

"I just said---"

"I've been watching my own back for years, Spyglass. I don't need someone to worry about me."

Spyglass. Ouch. Maybe she'd been wrong about him getting more comfortable around her. Maybe last night had been a fluke.

"Okay," Sarah said. "You don't need it. But don't you want it? Don't you want to be able to rest easy, knowing we'll watch out for you?"

"I can still rest easy---"

"Without drinking yourself stupid," she muttered, and instantly regretted it. This was it, this was the fuckup that would send him running. "Lex..."

"No." The fork was clenched in his fist now. "You're right. I can't."

"Why not?" It wasn't an accusation or a demand, just a simple question, soft words.

He was silent, but she didn't push. Last night, he seemed like he needed to get this out. If that need was still in there, if she was the person he wanted to tell, he'd speak in his own time.

His posture seemed casual enough, hunched over the eggs that were probably cold by now, but even without her sight abilities, she could tell his body was rigid.

"The Tower fucks you up," he said at last, and it was almost a whisper. Sarah sharpened her hearing, just enough that she wouldn't miss a word.

"It's... I was always alone. Unless, uh, unless they were hurting me." He swallowed, and she watched his throat bob up and down, her hands tight around the back of the chair.

"It was the same fucking room for months. Always dark. And whenever they did bring me out, they'd usually blindfold me. So every time I close my eyes, I... It's like I might be back there. Like my body's too stupid to tell the difference if my eyes can't prove it wrong. Doesn't matter where I am. Bed. Floor. Some fucking alley. The only nights I don't wake up in a panic are the nights I'm too drunk to."

Okay, she wanted to say, we'll find a solution. We'll play music for you all night or give you a nightlight. But she could tell he wasn't done talking. It was good he was talking, but she was afraid of what he might say next. Which was dumb. Just because she didn't know about it, just because he'd never told her, didn't make what he'd gone through any less real.

"So that's why," Lex continued. "I couldn't even fucking do anything about it. When they hurt me, I mean. I tried once. Got so mad I started a fire, even with the null cuffs on, but the guards, they... Um, they made me regret it." His voice broke, but he didn't stop talking. Sarah didn't know if he could, now that the dam had been opened.

"I'd never know what was going to happen. Uriah was bad, but it was worse just being in the dark, waiting to see if someone would come hurt you that day. They'd beat me more than anything else, but there were worse things. Visitors. Rentals."

Sarah didn't know what rentals meant, but the way he said it implied enough. She was too aware of her breathing, every inhale small and silent to make room for his words.

"Some people got more creative with how they'd cause pain. Most weren't, but it didn't matter. Still hurt. One time, more than one time, a-a bunch of the guards, they just held me down and... and you know. Used me."

She'd already suspected as much, but his words still hit her like a ton of ice. A tremor went through Lex's shoulders as his chest hitched, and the little gasp he let out twisted in her stomach. His hand went to his face, thumb and forefinger rubbing at his eyes. Sarah waited for the hand to come down---for him to be able to see---before she finally moved, circling the table to stand beside him.

She half-extended a hand towards him, movement slow and cautious. "Is it okay if I..?"

"N-not right now," he said, his voice thick, and Sarah nodded. She couldn't say she didn't get it, especially right now. Instead of moving closer, she dropped to her knees next to him, resting her arms and chin on the table.

"Fuck," he choked out. "I'm sorry. Shouldn't just drop this bullshit on you."

"It's okay," she assured him. "I want to listen. If this makes you feel better... Does it?"

"I don't know. Doesn't make me feel worse." He tipped his head back, staring blankly at the ceiling. Sarah pretended not to notice that his cheeks were wet.

"That's why."

She laced her fingers together, staring at her nails. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Doubt it. Drinking is the only thing that works."

She sighed. "Lex, that's not... It's not good for you." Lamest response ever, but what else could she say? How could she possibly find an answer that was good enough for this moment? "There has to be another way."

"What happens if there isn't? Do..." His voice softened, dropping to a whisper again. "Do you want me to leave?"

It took a lot of effort to keep her hands on the table, to stop herself for reaching out to him. "No. No, not at all." Could she ever sleep again if he did? If he disappeared, if she had no idea he was safe? If he was even alive?

"I need you to stay," she said.

"To fight for the team." He nodded.

"No---yes, but that's not why." It would rip her heart out. "I kinda like having you around, you know," she said, trying to lighten her tone.

"Then..." Lex sighed, dropping his head again. "What ideas do you have? To help? I'll... I'll give them a try."

Sarah nodded. "Have you ever tried using your other senses? Smell? Hearing?"

"Listening to you right now, aren't I?" he said, but it almost sounded like a joke. She cracked a smile.

"You know what I mean."

"I haven't."

"We can try lighting a scented candle in your room. Or playing soft music through the night. Do you think that might help?"

"Worth a shot." He lifted his head, finally looking her direction, his violet eyes apologetic. She'd always been fascinated with his eyes. Their vivid shade of purple almost exactly matched the little wildflowers painted all over her childhood bedroom; a color she used to associate with a soft bed. Nostalgia.

"Sarah... Thanks. For putting up with me."

She rested her cheek on her hands, looking up at him with a soft smile. "Aw, come on, it's not nearly as awful as you make it sound. Maybe I like putting up with you."

Lex cracked a small smile. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She pushed to her feet, careful to move slow and smooth, even though her legs were half asleep from crouching. "And if you ever want to talk... About anything, really. Spaceships, fine dining, dinosaurs, how much Uriah sucks... I'll be here. I want to listen."

Lex nodded, taking a forkful of cold eggs. "I could probably make time for spaceships."

Sarah gave him a smile, then moved back to the kitchen counter, busying her hands with washing the frying pan. His time spent in the Tower was nothing short of horrifying, but if he wanted to talk about it, if he needed to talk about it, she wouldn't stop him. She just hoped she could find the right words when the time came.

And she hoped her idea worked, that he wouldn't need the alcohol, that he could sleep and not wake up in terror. Not for the team's sake, or her own, but because she'd spoken the truth the night before.

She really did care about him.

•°•°•

@whumpacabra @enteredin2eternity @kixngiggles @whumpsday @kiichu @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @shywhumpauthor @distinctlywhumpthing , @bloodinkandashes , @fleur-alise , @whumpy-daydreams , @whumpwillow , @honeycollectswhump

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey it's high-fructose-jay-syrup again. I sent the original question off anon because it's not something I'd feel particularly awkward about anyone connecting to me, but then sent the followup ask on anon because I figured the ask not having gone through had something to do with me sending it off anon lmao (which apparently it did, since you did get the anon ask)

anyhoo. wondering if you have any insight on the line between masochism and self harm? I am realizing that a lot of my prior exploration of that area of kink had more to do with a desire to Feel Something than pure enjoyment of pain (which often resulted in me continuing despite being unsure about my comforts) and I think most of it was not a good idea to be doing and may even have been somewhat traumatizing. so now I'm understandably pretty wary about exploring that field again (I mean I'm wary of sex in general thanks to Trauma TM but yk, someday when that's no longer the case), and wondering if you have any thoughts on how to tell the difference between something that involves pain but is completely safe and enjoyable, and something that is actively damaging and needs to stop, *especially* given the phenomenon of sub drop.

thanke! happy late birthday!

hi not-anon,

this is a very interesting question, and I'm afraid it's not one that I'll be able to offer a very solid answer on. the line between masochism and self-harm that you're seeking is a thin and wavering one, and exactly where it lands varies heavily depending on the individual. there's a pretty excellent book called Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose that I thought of immediately while reading your question; in it, author Leigh Cowart examines their own experiences with ballet, eating disorders, and kink as well as people who partake in pain-seeking activities like eating record-setting amounts of painfully hot peppers, taking part in body-breaking ultramarathons, and flinging themselves into frigid waters on purpose. I think it's very notable that many of the people they talk to discuss former addictions that were much more actively detrimental to their quality of life than their current pain fix; sometimes it's not a matter of "I'm not hurting myself at all," but "hurting myself eating peppers will fuck me up a lot less than hurting myself with alcohol."

if you think about it there are dozens of activities that can simultaneously get a brain pumping dopamine and set off our pain receptions. pulling from just two of my own experiences, I love the pain of a needle when getting a new tattoo, and I love how wrecked my body feels after a couple hours of bouldering - and yes, both of those come with a drop afterwards! does that mean they qualify as self-harm? I don't think so, no, but I can also easily see how either could slip into that, if I were to start pushing my body regularly beyond the threshold of acceptable pain into something more than I can comfortable handle. the problem is that, as I said, that line isn't universal, and sometimes the only way to find out for sure is to push a little too far and see what happens.

it's also worth pointing out that, in terms of sexual masochism specifically, the idea of anything being "completely safe" is a discouraged by a lot of people within the community. this is a large part of RACK, or risk-aware consensual kink; substituting the "safe" in "safe, sane, and consensual" with an acknowledgement that sex involving acts of physical violence, no matter how well-negotiated, cannot ever be 100% perfectly risk free, and that this is a risk that participants must either be willing to accept or not engage with. to my thinking, at least, being risk-aware also means knowing the emotional harm that you would be making yourself vulnerable to by participating, and taking responsibility for that by not seeking out potentially harmful situations.

(safe, sane, and consensual has been reevaluated and contested in other ways in recent years; I wrote more about that and its history here for the curious.)

it seems clear that you're aware of which side of that line you've fallen on in the past, and I'm glad it's something you've been able to recognize and change your behavior around, as it sounds like avoiding SM situations entirely is great for you right now. I don't know if you're on a break from sex altogether, but if you are feeling wary about it, then it certainly couldn't hurt. it bears mentioning that even the most vanilla sex on earth can be (and often is) a form of self harm as much as kinky sex; as always, the thing that matters in the context and the experience of the individual involved.

in regards to any kind of sex, my advice is generally pretty blunt: if you're not sure whether or not something will fuck you up, don't do it. why would you take that risk? there are plenty of spaces in our lives where we have to put up with things that suck, but when it comes to your sex life that shit's completely customizable. skip the things that you're unsure about, focus on what you know works for you, whether that's vanilla sex, kinky sex, or no sex at all.

[kalamity-jayne]

You mentioned the NYC earthquake so I figured I'd ask: Recommendations for transfem-friendly bars or clubs in the Manhattan area? Less looking for hookups and more for a place where I can make friends while minimizing death glares from terfs and/or awkward interactions with gay men who think I'm a guy

Hmmm... I'll be honest and say I'm not super knowledgeable about the Manhattan scene. NYers are hilariously provincial like that when it comes to their respective boroughs and neighborhoods. Plus, I'm old don't go to bars much, most of them play their music way too loud for me to be able carry on a conversation.

As far as I know, there's no died in the wool tranny bars in the city. That said, I will say it's very unlikely you will encounter anyone being overtly hostile to you for being trans in a regular lesbian bar. I used to go to Gingers a lot in Brooklyn (god damned their drinks are strong😵‍💫) and never had anyone give me any shit and there's lots of regular bars that are very hospital to trans folks, my personal favorite was always The Sea Witch in south slope BK.

I think the closest you will come to a bar that could qualify as a tranny bar is HappyFun Hideaway. More than a few trans girls work there, it's referenced a lot by Theda Hammel and Macy Rodman on the podcast NymphoWars, and as my cis gay friend lovingly put it, "it's a great place to go for cis straight men to be ignored by women."

However, if you're really just looking to make more trans friends I think you'll have better luck attending one the Trans Girl Picnics that take place throughout the city. A very good friend of mine used to help organize them and one of these picnics is referenced in the book Detransition Baby. Links to them below:

[basicallyblank]

Champions League qualifiers round 1- defeat to Paris FC

Very disapointing result yesterday, and not a result a lot of us expected, probably not a result Jonas expected since he didn't plan for a penalty shootout.

We had it all wrong yesterday, in my opinion. Our line up was wrong, should've started Russo and McCabe, we could've put the game to bed and not have to fight tooth and nail to get it to penalties. From the start, something i kept noticing was that we looked disjointed and that there was a communication issue, especially from the backline. Obviously we've brought new players in, this is the first time they're playing matches together, so they might not work good together straight away, but we just looked lost.

2 goals in 60 seconds...is embarrassing. Manu looked lost in goal and I feel like she wasn't 100% yesterday, I want to see Sabs move more to our no.1 goalkeeper as i doubt Manu is staying next season, Manu has been lacking for some time, she's still a good gk, but she is making more mistakes that are costing us. We conceded again basically right after the restart from the first goal, a misplaced pass from Lia, when we got to 2 down i started having Birmingham City flashbacks.

Last season when Leah tore her ACL, I knew our backline was gonna be worrying, but for the rest of last season we still had Rafa to help us, now we have no Leah and no Rafa. Noelle was poor, her scuffed pass in the first half had me sat in disbelief, Lotte was also poor, people seem to be up in arms when people criticise her, obviously some people tow the line where it steps into abusive language, that no player deserves, but there is no problem criticising a player that was poor. She makes mistakes every game that leave us scrambling trying to get the ball back because we're now being heavily counter pressed. I just hope we sort it out because I dont know how long I'll last if I have to watch that defensive line up again, our best option is a back 3 until Leah is back.

Alessia is looking really promising, she got 2 goals for us and managed to keep us in the game, obviously her penalty miss was sad, but she's the reason we got to penalties in the first place, and you can blame Jonas lack of preparation for penalties, at least she offered to step up. When he put Jen up front, I cant lie, I was ready to see a resignation letter, but Jen always shows up in the big games when we need her, eg Wolfsburg. Frida also poor today, I think after seeing the game she played during the 120 minutes, she shouldn't have stepped up, she missed chance after chance and we're meant to think she'd be able to convert from the spot after having such a poor game ? hmm.

Obviously no Champions League is going to be heavily disapointing, Codina won it last season and now she's already out. On the bright side, it means less games, no awkward midweek games when we have an important league game coming up ect. We have no excuses not to win the league, and if we dont, we have to start asking questions, we didn't get the Champions League, our players have less games, why are we not winning ? The last time we didn't get Champions League was in 18/19 season, and we won the league. We need to win trophies this season, we dont have the pull of Champions League to convince players to come to Arsenal, what pull are we gonna have to get world class players if we cant win the FA Cup, Conti Cup, the WSL ? What pull are we gonna have to convince players who are already here to STAY, if we cant win anything ?

We don't have Champions League this season, its done, we cant do anything about it, we cant get it back. We're an english giant, we dominated the WSL for years until other teams caught up, we dont have the pressure of champions league this season, so full focus on the league, and everything that comes with it. UTA

[violentlyexplosive]

man, trying to find good fan-written work featuring a blind/visually impaired character (or reader) is like wading through waterfalls of literal shit. like I hate being mean about this kinda stuff, I understand not everyone on the planet knows what it's like to not be able to see properly, but for the love of GOD, GOOGLE IT. OR ASK SOMEONE. OR JUST DON'T WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING ABOUT.

if you're hell bent on writing a visually impaired or blind person, here are some quick pointers so you don't come across as an ableist prick:

99% of us don't hate being blind. some of us were born this way. others have had plenty of time to come to terms with whatever happened to us. for a whole lot of us, it is simply a fact of life, and not something we even really think a lot about on a day to day basis. I am sure there are tons of low vision people out there that do hate it, but it is an incredibly individualised and nuanced experience. please for the love of all literary goodness, don't do the whole "oh woe is me, I'm blind, however will I go on!!!" thing. it's tired, overdone, and frankly a little insensitive.

WE DON'T JUST SEE DARKNESS. WE DON'T SEE BLACK. WE DO NOT SEE. for some people, like myself, we have significant vision loss, but can still see clearly enough to move through life without much difficulty. for others, they might have large blind spots, and small sections of vision to rely on. only a very small percentage of us have absolutely 0 vision, and in those cases, it isn't "darkness" or "pitch black" that one sees- it is nothing. I know it can be hard to wrap your head around, but a common example used is: bend your arm and point your elbow forward. what does your elbow see? nothing, right? not blackness, not darkness- just the absence of sight. that is what total blindness looks like.

ok, so I'm aware this one people are getting better about, but it bears repeating: blind people do not touch faces to "see" them. why the fuck would we do that. I'm sure with close family members, romantic partners, or even friends, it may be something one does just for the fuck of it, or to make note of a specific feature (i.e. hair texture, nose shape, scars, etc,) but nobody is out here using their fingers to map out people's faces just on the reg. do you have any idea how awkward that would be. I don't know where your face has been, and I'd frankly rather just imagine the specifics of your features and admire your blurry visage WITHOUT my fingies, thank you very much.

OUR OTHER SENSES ARE NOT MAGICALLY ENHANCED. we're not superheroes, we're disabled. sure, over time, we might come to rely on our other senses more, and hone them better, but we're not fucking Daredevil. I can't hear the buzzing of my lightbulbs because I'm legally blind and super cool (unfortunately,) I hear them because I'm fucking autistic.

a good chunk of us don't know how to read braille. an unfortunate side effect of having text to speech functions on phone cameras is the loss of this skill. if i can't read something, I ask someone else to read it for me, or I take a picture and zoom in. braille differs from country to country, language to language, etc etc. even if I learned Irish braille (written as Gaeilge, by the way, so not even in English!) I would not be able to read braille in my native language of Swedish. and beyond drugstore products, it typically isn't used much. I've rarely, if ever, found braille menus, instruction manuals, books, etc. and with modern technology, learning and knowing braille is falling increasingly out of style.

not all blind eyes look milky/all white. my fully blind eye is constantly closed, but my functioning, legally blind eye is perfectly normal in appearance. in fact, you've probably met one or two people in your life who would qualify as legally blind/low vision who function and, through all outward appearances, are no different from you.

we are not weak little babies that need protecting. I'd argue that visually impaired people can probably get around better than some fully sighted people, purely because we're forced to be more aware of our surroundings. not to mention some of us have guide dogs or friends/family/what-have-you to help us manoeuvre when necessary. just because we can't see well doesn't mean we're damsels in distress incapable of wiping our own asses. we're people with personalities and skill sets and life experiences, not infants.

ok so I'm sure this has come across as aggressive and/or rude, but yknow what? I don't particularly care anymore. I have seen far too many ignorant and uneducated people try to write or otherwise portray blind/visually impaired characters using guesswork and stereotypes from television, and I've just hit a wall in terms of being able to disregard it and not care. I do care. a whole lot, apparently. I'm tired of seeing random people on the internet deciding they'll write a low vision character and butchering it so terribly it makes me physically cringe. if you have to write a character with a visual disability, I implore you to read a fucking book, google it for 15 minutes, hell, make a reddit post or something to ask actual visually disabled people about their experiences so you're not making a fool of yourself, talking out of your ass and insulting an entire category of human beings. it is that easy.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

(tw alcohol problems)

The phrase "keep it session" has been in consistent use since the very early episodes of this radio show, I've just heard and episode in which John Robins stops to explain what it means, which I thought I'd cut out and save because I find it interesting. And by "interesting", I mean literally yesterday I was explaining to my friend how maybe I could be just fine drinking if I started doing this more, just get lower percentage beer and still drink the same amount, and it was starting to make sense, but it does seem like a less good idea when I hear it explained by a guy who has since admitted he had a drinking problem despite employing this technique. And possibly connected to it - it is a good trick to have something that seems like responsible drinking, but actually it's just that you're so attached to drinking you need to be able to do it for longer so you'll find any way to make it so you don't have to stop as early (I don't mean as early in life or anything, I mean literally if I start drinking I like to stay up until 4 AM or so because I know that when I go to bed I'll have to be sober for the next while, but as long as I stay awake I get to enjoy not being sober, and I think that is the basic concept behind the Keep It Sessions idea, not actually responsible drinking).

I'm rather upset at myself, a couple of nights ago I got properly drunk for the first time in 2024, and I didn't mean to. My best friend/roommate and I got invited by our mutual friend and his wife over for a dinner party in the suburbs where it was so awkward, they had this nice house and none of us like his wife (we're not just being terrible people or anything, I'd like to defend our position by saying she's made casually racist comments and is rude to wait staff, among other issues), and it was a reminder that we never get to see our friend anymore without his wife present which means we never get to have a proper conversation with him or relax around him, even though before he got married he was one of my closest friends in the world and we used to meet up several times a week and sit in a pub all night and could talk about anything, and it wasn't even about getting drunk, we'd often only have a couple of pints and not even get drunk (I mean I'd usually get drunk by myself after I went home but that's beside the point, the point is that it's not like I'm reminiscing about the old days because I think we have to be drunk to have fun with this friend and we can't have fun now that we don't drink together, it's not that, it's that we used to be able to hang out casually and now it's a dinner party at a house with his wife whom we don't like and we all have to be awkwardly polite and we just talk about polite company topics and then all go home at a reasonable hour and it sucks), but those are some of my best memories in the world and it's gone forever now, and I guess this is just what happens as you get older, but it made me really depressed because I miss the way friendships used to be. And then my best friend/roommate and I got out of there, and he said to me "Well that was fucking awkward, want to go to the pub", so we did, and honestly it was awesome. Had a few pints in the pub, went back to our place, got drunk in the living room while listening to music and watching match videos in preparation for the trip to Mexico he's doing next week to coach one of our team's athletes in an Olympic qualifier, it's really exciting and I had so much fun just hanging out with him all night and that did feel like old times. And then obviously I woke up and hated myself.

I was very tempted to just say well, that's it, I'm not going to be sober now. But I know that's a cop-out. I never said I'd literally never drink again, and part of why I avoided saying that is I didn't want to be able to say that was the entire goal, if I break it once then it's all for nothing and I can give up. I said I want to drink less. What I meant is I want to be completely sober, but I don't want to fall into my black and white thinking of if I haven't spent all of 2024 completely sober then I may as well give up. You know, like the thinking that if I'm already drunk on one night, then I may as well stay up until 4 and continue drinking instead of going to bed at midnight, because more drinking when you're already drunk doesn't add to your total number of drinking nights, it's just more of the one drinking night, so you may as well stay up.

Anyway. I was talking to my friend today and tried to explain that maybe there is some way that we can keep having nights like that but I can just get really low-percentage drinks and it won't have the same effect, but I did then listen to this radio episode and realize it sounds more like bullshit coming from a known alcoholic. Because aside from anything else, I don't think I'd stick to it. And I'm not sure there's any alcohol that's weak enough for it to be healthy to drink it for like eight hours at a time.

On a lighter note, I appreciate John Robins explaining what percentages do to conversions, because I've had this happen before. In 2014, this guy from NZ moved up to my city and trained with my team for a year. When we first met him, he told us that he'd often drink a 2-4 (a pack of 24 beers) in a night. We thought this sounded absolutely ridiculous, as the most accomplished drinkers we knew could do maybe 16 or so. The first time we drank with him, we were prepared to be impressed, but it turned out he couldn't really drink any more than I could. At the end of the year he moved back to NZ, and the next year a bunch of us went down to NZ for his wedding, and also went to his bachelor party and on a post-wedding trip and much alcohol was drunk at all those events, and we quickly worked out the source of the confusion. NZ beer is all really week; he was telling the truth when he said he could drink 24 cans of it in a day, but so could my friends and I. I'm used to 5% being the standard for beer, you can get light beer that's 4 or 4.5 or even 3.5, and you can get fancy beers that tend to be between 5.5 and 7, and novelty beers that are 8 or 9. In NZ, it seemed like the standard was 4%. John Robins talks about 5% beer like it's way too much for session drinking.

Anyway. That's not really the point. The point is I rather hate myself but I am going to still try to not drink alcohol. Also I hate the institution of marriage. Mostly. Some people's partners are cool. If you're reading this then your partner is probably cool (that sounds like a joke but I'm not joking, I can think of three people who are likely to read this post and whom I talk to regularly and know some things about about their partners, all of you seem to have very cool partners, I may have just got unlucky that all my friends seem to be marrying people who make friendship much more difficult). Keeping it session is probably not the solution to drinking too much. Even though it seems tempting. I mean, drinking weak sessions beers would definitely be healthier than what I did the other night. But less healthy than not drinking. My roommate might get to coach at the Olympics this summer. I am (genuinely) very happy for him and (not genuinely) completely fine with him going and achieving our shared dreams without me after I stepped away from them. Life is difficult. I'll try again next week.

[positivelybeastly]

🖤

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

So, Hank is a man who considers himself in control of his passions. He has to be! He used to be able to benchpress a metric ton, now he can benchpress ten - his claws can rend concrete - his teeth can snap bone like toothpicks. He has to be able to control himself.

But.

He has a weakness for men and women who are strong, passionate, and more than capable of dominating him (see Abigail Brand, Cecilia Reyes, Simon Williams, etc). Victor absolutely qualifies. It doesn't hurt that Victor is rugged as hell, and his vibe can change from wild man to urban tyrant with just a haircut. He also has a hidden weakness for Victor's classic costume (the fur neck floof, specifically) which makes it hard to concentrate if Victor isn't in civvies.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

You can pretty cleanly track a trajectory here, but it's worth noting that a lot of these traits remain very much in Hank's mind even as he softens on Victor. He will still get frustrated, he will still find himself disturbed, he will still find Victor bossy and unpredictable and egotistical and impulsive . . . but. The thing is, Hank doesn't like easy romances. He likes people who challenge him. Victor may not be classically educated, but he's smart enough to make Hank have to think, and Hank likes that - right up until he doesn't.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

Hank is a lot more of a horndog than he lets on - his classic, Avengers slut era may have ended, but that energy never really went away, he just had a lot less places to put it. So to find someone who has a similar stamina to him, who's as resilient as him, who's even more in tune with his inner animal than him . . . there's a very strong sexual compatibility in there, and even though they may not have the healthiest personality interactions, sexually, Victor is very good for Hank.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

This is one of those strange cases where I don't know if I'd call Hank and Victor friends, but Hank would die for Victor if the situation called for it - if there was a Muramasa blade situation or the like. There's just a little too much clash in what they enjoy, in what they find pleasure in (other than each other) for them to be truly friends, but they make absolutely incredible romantic partners. It's a really interesting tension, where they're constantly skirting around the fact that they shouldn't really work together, and yet they do.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

I actually looked this up, and the very first time they properly met and exchanged dialogue on panel, Hank was tied up in the good ol' high tech spread eagle, and Victor was slipping out of Psylocke's telepathic control. Suffice it to say, I do not think Hank was impressed at the time with Victor's showing.

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

Oh boy is this is a goddamn mess of emotions.

[beingatoaster]

Twenty (Fic) Questions

nabbed from @kidlightnings

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Total, 110 (they are not all on main).

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 881,798

What fandoms do you write for?

Largely Genshin Impact, some Voltron, and then occasional other fandoms now and then.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Storm Shelter, Child Soldiers, All of Our Secrets, A Study of Love, and A Convenient Facade

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

On main, I almost always do! I hope it encourages people to comment more (on other peoples' fics as well as mine) and I'm always excited when people tell me they like things I wrote and like to thank them for the compliment! I also secretly always hope it is going to lead to a conversation and/or eventual Friends. :>

On the porn alt... well, I made it a policy when I first created it that I was not required to reply to every comment there, in part because it's not what I'm usually logged in to, and since I have also gotten comments there that make me grateful for that policy.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There is a whole series on the porn alt that is just like 'what if everything was terrible, actually,' in which most of the fics would qualify, especially the second one.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Kind of hard to say! I think most of my fics end more happily than not? Even going for 'particularly mushy' I can't narrow it down to less than five, which is more than I want to link, so. XD

Do you get hate on fics?

I have not had any on main! See the question about the comment-response policy in regards to the porn alt (where I also allow myself to delete comments if necessary). In the awkward space in between, I have a series on-main-but-posted-on-anon that has gotten some... interesting responses.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I refer you here to the existence of the porn alt. XD It's pretty much all either kinky or... IDK, I am apparently too ace to write sex for sex's sake, and I'm not sure 'kinky' covers 'there are complex emotional situations here to which the sex is important and yet also incidental,' but, yeah. Kinky mostly covers it, and even if it's in a series so far it's all PWPs.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't written crossovers themselves since my early 2000's fic days, but I do a lot of fusions--all of them are currently isolated on Tumblr, in one place or another. I like to mash any universe I particularly like together with the Sekirei 'winging' system (one group of people can kiss another group of people to give them magic powers and also symbolic but non-functional wings, oh, and also there's an empathic connection and subtle mind control), which I guess could count as 'craziest' but honestly feels to me like what everyone was doing with Loveless when Loveless was big. I just happened to read Sekirei instead of Loveless. XD

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know but, likewise, have never looked!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone in the Genshin fandom translated Filial Assistance and Lost and Found into Russian once, and I'm still pretty thrilled about it! :D

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly, I don't even know where to start narrowing that down, though TBH it would definitely be for a fandom I haven't written for (since the early 2000s, anyway, if I tried I might end up back on Livejournal). Joke answer: the Normandy. :P

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

There is some D&D OC fic that I refuse to list for this, because someday I will finish them. I swear. I still love them and I want to go back....

In lieu, a style experiment/cumulative writing exercise (in the Genshin Impact fandom) in which, pre-canon, Jean has a sexuality crisis and hooks up with Lisa and Eula, while un-hooking-up with Kaeya, written in 'layers' with everything written from Jean's POV first, then scenes added in from Eula's, then Lisa's, then possibly Kaeya's (though I think if I ever did try to finish it to "publishable" status it honestly might work better with his left out, and another follow-up written later that starts with his POV and layers in reverse, which is a moot point as I genuinely do not expect to "finish" this). It's currently still in the "Jean's POV" stage and as stands can be, and has been, described as "technically this is a Jean/Kaeya breakup story except that the breakup is the least important thing happening here." I keep determinedly having to detach Background Political/Mystery Plot.

What are your writing strengths?

I likewise consider myself good at worldbuilding when I don't get too tedious about it! I've had positive comments on my prose and pacing, which is funny because I know and lean into deep purple with the prose and pacing is one of my biggest struggles, so. XD I can't really say accurately from within!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing is hell and the worst part of revisions and second drafts. I often stuff a whole bunch of stuff I just don't want to write into an eliding paragraph or a hole between scenes and don't always fix that in revision. I'm infinitely distractable and everything takes so much longer than I expect. I struggle very badly to stay concise. I'm sure readers could list others, but those are the ones that ping internally!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Honestly, only something I will do with conlangs. A narrative "[Character] said something in [language]" or an italicized translation both suit me better.

First fandom you wrote for?

Also Pokemon! And I likewise wish I still had the stories. :( The first place where I encountered the concept of fanfiction (instead of writing OCs and situations very similar to whatever books I was reading at the time) was on a Pokemon site, it's also where I published my first fic, and I really badly miss my first fandom friend, who drew me fanart and whom I meant to give a cameo (except that I never wrote past chapter 7 and then the site went down and we lost touch).

Favorite fic you've written?

You make me choose between my 110 (+ the Livejournal-era dozens) children? ;o; But okay, fine. I could pick any of several I'm very pleased with, for various reasons, and the Genshin ones are the most recent and thus probably technically the best, but (leaving out the Livejournal-era fic that I am not going through tonight XD but might contain something), it's Dressed to Suit.

Tagging... anyone who would like to do this! I should've gone to bed half an hour ago and certainly don't have the brainpower to remember who on my dash writes and likes memes about it, but if that includes you, please feel free. :>

[fanficdumbchic]

Hey there! I love your work :) Was just wondering if you would be able to do a dating hicks and Hudson from Aliens headcanon <3 separately if thats okay.

Love , P.

What It's Like to Date US Colonial Marines

Headcanon - USCM x Reader - SFW

AN: Thank you P.! You're a sweetie. Here's a dating headcanon for each of the main marines. Hope you enjoy! Look forward to more requests from you. :)

Private Drake

Drake is so balls-to-the-wall supportive of anything you do, especially if you're being bad ass as shit.

Drake does not mind being overshadowed by you at all. He's just happy to have you.

He is great in bed and actually gives a fuck about what you both want.

He's not just your partner, he's like your best friend. He's loyal as fuck and devoted as fuck when he finds you because you're his person.

He would do anything for you (within reason) without question.

But he's not going to put up with your shit either. He calls you out when you need to be more aware of what you're doing and has very healthy boundaries. And like wise, even if he is very emotional about a certain happenstance, he is still very self-aware and able to hear reason when you call him out too.

Drake has no toxic masculinity bullshit to deal with, he is incredibly confident in himself and dismisses ridicule for anything considered ‘unmanly’.

Drake is not a full dom, he prefers to switch because he wants both of you to feel powerful.

Definitely the male counterpart in a power couple.

Lieutenant Gorman

He is very closed-off and stand-offish at first.

He takes himself and his job very seriously and he isn't great with handling criticism.

He has hardcore humiliation trauma.

He's not good at functioning under pressure but always tries to do the right thing when it really counts.

He's someone where it takes you awhile to get past his cold, serious exterior, but once you do, he really is a sweetie.

He's slow to trust, but once he trusts you he is loyal to a fault.

He has a lot of trust issues but he tries really hard to work through them.

He realizes that he's not very physically or publicly affectionate but tries his hardest to make sure you feel loved regardless.

He shuts down during arguments and fights. Being yelled at immediately sends him into a panic attack.

However, he doesn't avoid your problems, he just has to be in a calm environment to deal with it.

He will not cry in front of anyone, even you. This guy has some emotional trauma but again, he's working on it. He most likely comes from a strict, military family and that's his baggage.

Even if he's not the easiest partner to have, he makes up for it where it counts and loves you.

Corporal Hicks

Hicks is just such a wholesomely good guy.

He has hella respect for strong women and actually listens.

While he closely follows the orders/instructions of those he knows are more qualified to be making the decisions, he still thinks for himself and sticks to his own moral compass.

He is very non-confrontational except in extreme circumstances.

One of his flaws is that he is a giver to a fault. His main thing is making sure everyone around him is good before he thinks of himself.

He will sacrifice for you and the people he cares about without a second thought.

His affection towards you is subtle and sometimes awkward but so sweet and thoughtful.

He wants nothing more than to see you thrive even when he's not.

He would rather everything remain calm and struggles during heated confrontation. He can be non-confrontational to a fault and fails to see any purpose in it.

Yet, it doesn't change the fact that he is always willing to face issues and work through them with you. He just doesn't feel conflict is the way to achieve that.

He definitely dotes on and spoils you, wanting the best for you and nothing less.

He just wants to be your hero.

Private Hudson

He definitely is reminiscent of the 'lovable asshole' archetype.

Hates when things don't go according to plan.

Humor is definitely his coping mechanism and love language.

He picks on you in a loving way but sometimes hurts your feelings with it. When he realizes that he went too far, he apologizes and stays away from those areas in the future. He really doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

He loves bickering with you like an you're both an old married couple. It's part of the fun for him.

He can be really stubborn and pigheaded sometimes and it can take awhile for him to get over his pride and admit you had a point or were flat-out right. But he always gets there.

He's incredibly cocky but takes his lumps without complaint when his ego is deflated.

Sometimes he is genuinely clueless about what he did wrong even if you think it's obvious. He's not the smartest boy.

Always dtf.

Loves to randomly smack you on the ass and see you blush.

When things go really wrong, you definitely have to be the calm one and keep him turned down a notch. But again, makes the right decisions when it really counts.

He loves to call you baby doll or baby girl or sweetheart.

Can you tell he's my favorite?

Private Vasquez

Unapologetic bad bitch.

Tough as nails and def has trauma she is not dealing with it.

Her philosophy is to suck it up and always push through it.

She is definitely the dominant partner and while she loves and cares for you, she does not like depending on others.

It takes awhile for her to trust and depend on people, you included.

Her love language is taking a bullet for you rather than being super lovey dovey. But affection is not something she shuns completely.

When she is vulnerable with you, she is deeply vulnerable with you.

She understands that she can be a really intense partner but she's not changing for you or anyone. That's who she is and she needs someone who's down with that.

She definitely is always trying to prepare for the worst case scenario and she hates surprises. They stress her out.

She never lets you feel unappreciated and notices even the little things you do.

She is a beast in bed.

She's one of those people where when they finally open up to you, it feels really special because you understand it takes a lot for them.

Like Drake, she is ride-or-die. She will not leave your side through even the worst shit. She goes hard af for the people she loves.

[duhragonball]

If you dont mind me asking about Super Hero, how do you feel about the new animation after you've watched the movie? For me, I think its still pretty awkward in slow parts but on the flip side it did make the fights feel really fluid.

I just got back from watching the dub in IMAX, so yeah, feel free to ask me about this movie! And that goes for all of you out there, too. (I'm pointing at you right now through the screen.)

Okay, so this movie was done in all 3D, CGI, whatever people call it. I've been hearing people gripe about it for a long time now, because there are a lot of people who worry about the future of 2D animation, and also there were fears that the quality would suffer, because a lot of animated shows make the jump to 3D thinking it'll be easier, and it ends up looking like crap.

All I know is that this movie looks pretty hot-damn amazing. I kind of wish the final battle wasn't so murky, but we're talking about animation, not color palettes. As far as the importance of 2D animation, I'm not qualified to speak on that. I'm just a dumbass consumer, but it seems to me that if traditional animation is such a precious, valuable thing, then it can survive the advent of new technology. Television didn't obsolete radio, and e-mail didn't kill the post office. I don't see how complaining about 3D animation does anything to help 2D flourish.

As far as quality concerns go, I think the fanbase was particularly concerned because Dragon Ball has tried dipping it's toe into 3D before, and it hasn't gone well...

It's hard to convey in a still image, but these particular shots from Res F and DBS Broly were very conspicuous, because the characters' movements looked very stiff and uninspired compared to the footage surrounding it. I think Battle of Gods had a little CGI in the Goku/Beerus fight, but it's harder to spot, at least for me. With Res F and Super Broly, it's like Toei felt more comfortable using 3D for longer, more prominent parts of the movie, and I remember them getting some flak from the fans about it. These look like screenshots from the Raging Blast games, not feature-length films made years after the PS3's heyday.

The thing is, okay, I can't speak for everyone else, but my beef wasn't with the quality of the 3D in these shots. My problem was with how awkward it was when they switched back and forth. The 3D assets looked noticeably different from the 2D models, and there was no sense of a "rule" to it. Like, if all the fight scenes were in 3D and the rest of the movie was in 2D, I'd go like "Okay, this is how the movie works." Instead, they just sort of picked a few seconds and decided to animate it differently from everything else. That's what made it jarring. That's what took me out of these two movies.

At the time, I thought to myself, "If they made the entire movie like these brief segments, then it wouldn't be bad at all." To be sure, the CGI characters in Broly aren't as appealing as the 2D animation we got. I'm not saying the movie would have been better if it had been all 3D. What I'm saying is that it would have been less disruptive than switching it up late in the film.

To give an example of what I mean, in the late 90's, Toonami had a show called the Real Adventures of Johnny Quest. There was a lot of 60's nostalgia in the 90's, so the idea was to do a "modern" version of the old Johnny Quest cartoon. It was mostly 2D, but they had a gimmick where the characters would go into some virtual reality world and fight bad guys in there. And all the VR action looked like this:

And yeah, it looks like shit, but in the 90s, this was cutting-edge, and they made it the selling point of the show. The point was that they knew they couldn't animate the whole show this way, so they came up with an in-story reason for the change in visuals. It doesn't matter if Race Bannon looks different from his 2D model, because this is his avatar in the virtual reality system. But if they could have animated the whole series in 3D, that probably would have worked too. I mean, that's what Reboot did, and Beast Wars, and people loved those shows.

So yeah, when I first found out DBSSH was going to be all 3D animation, I wasn't too surprised, since the previous three movies seemed to be practice runs for something like this. And I wasn't too concerned, because at least they were fully committing to it. If all the characters had looked like Goku, Frieza, and Broly up there, I would have still enjoyed the movie. Hell, if they looked like Race Bannon and Ezekiel Rage, I would have dug that too. I'm not that choosy when it comes to Dragon Ball. That's probably because a lot of the classic episodes look like this:

But before some OG DB purist tries to weigh in, let's check out an example from pre-Saiyans Dragon Ball, back when it was """"good"""

I'm not trying to be a smartass with these gifs, either. These are clips taken from a couple of episodes I really enjoy. I liked them so much that I made these gifs, but I'm not ashamed to admit that they're not exactly sterling examples of 2D animation. People have been making cracks about Yukio Ebisawa's art direction for years, but every 6th episode of Dragon Ball and DBZ has his name on the credits. If you're into Dragon Ball, you gotta admit you enjoy some crap animation. You like good animation too, but it's pretty much impossible to skip the goofy shit and just watch the really good stuff.

That's why I've never understood the animation snobbery in the fandom. At its core, Dragon Ball is a franchise that is not afraid to cut corners from time to time, and even make jokes at its own expense. The Super Saiyan form was invented so they could draw Goku's hair faster in the comics. They could do a movie with sock puppets and Clutch Cargo mouths and I'd be like "Yep, typical Dragon Ball."

And yet, I think there's a genuine sense of pride in the franchise, too, a desire to surpass limits and try new things. The first several dozen episodes of the DBS anime were disappointing, but they turned it around by the end. And these movies seem to represent a sincere effort to really do something special with the characters. I think that's why they dared to make an all-3D movie starring Piccolo. It would have been easier to just stick to the formula and have Goku fight Frieza some more, but they wanted to do more. And the bet paid off. Super Hero is a visually stunning movie. If those wonky moments in the previous films helped them get to this point, then it was more than worth it.

One of these days, they might screw up royally, and I'll probably join in on complaining about it. I'm still sore about DBS Episode 5. But my biggest complaint about DBS 5 was that it was badly animated and it was just retelling a story we already had from the movies. If it had been a badly animated episode with new material, I would have probably accepted it. In the end, I'm more concerned with the story. Tell me something compelling, something good, and I can deal with substandard visuals.

[waheelawhisperer]

I was gonna try to clear out a few asks today and maybe respond to some reblogs, but then I saw this post on my dash and started getting emotional because it really helped put something I've been thinking about for a while into words, even though I am neither this post's subject nor its target audience, so instead I decided to just shitpost a bit and then get my feelings out. I didn't feel comfortable reblogging the post even though I think a good bit of it is also applicable to me because I didn't want to turn this into an example of a straight white man making everything about him somehow and taking focus away from marginalized groups, but I did want to express my thoughts and feelings because they exist and matter to me.

I'm a bit less put together than I usually am when I post, so forgive me if I start to ramble or use terminology incorrectly or misinterpret aspects of LGBTQ or BDSM culture.

Ironically, despite my most recent Arknights shitpost, I'm... actually absolutely freaking terrified to express any serious desire to be sexually dominant - and I do have those desires (don't get me wrong, a strong, confident woman taking control is really hot, all you have to do is read my various shitposts to know I'm happy to sub, but the fact that I even feel like I have to qualify my desire to be dominant with "I also enjoy subbing" is the perfect illustration of my point). Men being submissive is treated as funny, like the setup to a joke about subverting typical sexual/gender roles. Men being dominant, despite what tumblr "punish me, daddy" thirstposting may lead you to believe, is often treated as threatening. Predatory.

This is especially true in the case of men who are attracted to women, at least from what I've seen. I'm very scared to approach women I'm interested in, because women in turn are scared of strange men. It's a justifiable attitude. There are more than enough shitty men out there that it makes sense for women to adopt that coldness, that wariness, as a defense mechanism. Given how much of the tumblr userbase, especially the userbase that participates in the same fandoms I do and thus might realistically be considered my audience, is female, I imagine that many of the people reading this post have had negative interactions with men who don't respect their boundaries or even treat them as human beings, and I am by no means trying to downplay that very real and reasonable fear. I'm just trying to explain how these circumstances and attitudes have shaped my own interactions with women.

The result of this need to watch out for danger is that unless you are a stunningly attractive man, women are on guard when they talk to you. I'm not a stunningly attractive man. Oh, I'm decent-looking, don't get me wrong (admittedly, my status as a proud short king is apparently a dealbreaker for many women, but there's not much I can do about that) - I'm in good shape, I bathe regularly and take adequate care of my skin and hair/facial hair, I wear clothes that fit me and aren't horribly unfashionable, I've been told I have pretty eyes and a nice voice, etc. - but I'm not the kind of heartthrob that can walk into a room and command the attention of every woman in it. I'm not a complete mess socially, but I'm not overly charismatic either, and I'm shy and awkward around people I don't know. As a result, when I approach a woman, she ain't thinking "wow, he's talking to me <3", she's thinking "who's this freaking weirdo, I hope he goes away before I have to pepper spray him".

Because of all this, I try to be nonthreatening. I try to be harmless, and that means repressing anything that might frighten the people around me, whether that be anger, personal conviction, or the desire to (consensually) pin a girl down and rail her. I'm terrified of scaring away potential partners just by having normal human desires and emotions, and it takes a mental toll.

I grew up (and still live) in Texas, which is not exactly a wellspring of progressive attitudes towards anything, much less women and relationships and sex and sexuality. I've been taught since I was very young that men, like me, should protect and alternately defer to or "care for" women (in a very patronizing and controlling sense), and in return, our reward was sex. While my immediate family was never this backwards, I can't say the same about the world around me at large, and the media I consumed (and still consume, because we've made progress but by no means conquered the issue) absolutely bombarded me with the idea that sex was not a thing women enjoyed. Sex was an activity they engaged in reluctantly, if at all, something they gave to men in exchange for whatever nebulously-defined benefits those men brought to the table, which were usually few, enumerated in derisive fashion, and far outweighed by the inherent flaws men possess for the crime of existing. I was taught that sex was a thing men enjoyed and women endured. I was taught that sex was transactional at best, a thing to be earned for good behavior because a woman would never want it for its own sake outside of procreation, and outright undesirable for half the participants at worst, forced upon women by brutish, animalistic men who could never be anything better than lust-ridden beasts.

This is without even mentioning the incredibly heavy, pervasive cultural influence of Christianity in America, and Texas in particular. I'm sure we're all well aware of how Christianity treats sex and sexuality and sexual expression, so I'm not going to go too deep into that, but rest assured the framing of sexual desire as inherently evil and sinful did plenty of damage to my psyche.

No matter how much I know that those views aren't true, that they're doing everyone a disservice, no matter how hard I fight against attitudes that have been ingrained in me since before I even knew what sex was by every bit of stupid bullshit "I hate my spouse" boomer humor I've ever encountered, they still impact my own ability to express my own wants and needs. They still make me feel like I am wrong or bad or evil for wanting to have sex with women, and especially for wanting to be an active participant or engage in sex acts where the focus is my pleasure, like having a girl go down on me.

I think that's one of the reasons I find pleasure in submission: if I'm not the one in control, I can't hurt anyone. I can't be a threat. I can't force anyone to do anything if I'm the one taking orders. If my partner is in control, if she's the one calling the shots in the bedroom, then I'm as sure as I can be that she actually wants to be here, that this isn't just a chore she wants to get over with as quickly as possible to keep me satisfied so she can go do something that actually matters to her.

There are a lot of men like me. I know a lot of them personally. While I hesitate to call myself a good person, I can say with confidence that I would never willingly hurt my partner, that I would never knowingly force her into something she didn't want to do or violate her boundaries, and there are plenty of good, considerate men who would be horrified at the thought of doing something to a girl that that girl didn't want. So we live with the fear that we're monsters, that we're rapists waiting to happen, that even showing interest in a woman means we're unsafe and have done something wrong. We end up starved of physical and emotional intimacy, and it's a very sad and lonely experience.

I think I saw a post a while back, probably before I even started this blog, about a trans man talking about how very different socialization and social intimacy was as a man, and that post also did a great job of putting how I felt into words, but I can't find it right now. Regardless, it made the point that we're lonely. Isolated. We're not encouraged to be vulnerable. Writing this post has been very difficult for me because I was taught to never show weakness, that vulnerability made me a target, made me less, rather than a person in need of and deserving of support. We're not encouraged to develop emotional intimacy with other men outside of very specific situations (competition against opposing forces). Women look at us as threats (because to do otherwise without very good reason to trust runs the risk of actively putting them in danger). We are... so very alone.

[friendlyfaded]

Idk if you've done this before but thoughts on David/Sweetheart?? 👀

I actually don't believe I have! Which is kind of surprising, because I love this ship lol.

I'd imagine they would have met if Sweetheart couldn't get ahold of Milo during their investigation into the shade, or if he was less forthcoming about talking to them. Or, if they had just gone through the channels they were supposed to take and talked to David in the first place. That's what Milo says they should have done, anyway. So they go to David Shaw and ask him about the Games. David is still pretty fucked up after his dad's death, so he's kind of snippy and short with them, but they don't think anything of it. They know he's a pretty new alpha, and that he's still in mourning, so they don't hold it against him.

They're a little more upfront about what they're tracking, since David is a high-ranking member of empowered society in the region (and he knows how to keep his mouth shut when he needs to). David, like Milo, sees hunting a shade as a way of proving himself. Instead of proving that he's strong enough to measure up to his packmates like Milo did, though, he's proving to his pack and himself that he's worthy of being alpha.

Sweetheart starts to see that he's not so much scary as he is awkward and hurting. Not to mention, he's certainly nice to look at. David comes to find that Sweetheart is really easy to talk to. They're willing to listen if he needs them to. They don't judge him. They understand his concerns about the people around him not seeing him as qualified for the job. Basically, they understand each other, and once the shade is dealt with, it becomes pretty easy for them to become closer.

David still clearly has the trauma of his dad's death at the forefront of his mind, but I feel like Sweetheart would be able to help him through it. They're patient and considerate, and they would make sure David knew they were there without imposing on his privacy.

Both of them are tall, intimidating, authoritative types, from what we see in the audios. They're two powerful characters. They would definitely fit the definition of a power couple. They're the type of people that you would expect to be together, but in a way it's also strange that they don't clash more often, both being strong-willed and hard-headed. They're both kind of quiet and closed-off, but they'd work on that together. Communication would be their biggest thing to work on. Neither of them is good at admitting that they have problems, so they'd have to help each other with that.

Overall, definitely a good pairing. We love two powerful characters finding love and comfort in each other.

[sophieinwonderland]

for us the parts vs people thing is like awkward for us bc we Know logically that everyone in our system is just one person who's brain made dissociative spilts between parts of their personality but like because of that it's effectively like we're different people so. yeah idk just our 2 cents for us personally

Yeah, the disparity between what seems logical and what feels true can make this subject really complicated.

Although, I think one reason for this disparity is that it's trying to ruse a scientific lens to what's more of philosophical question of personhood. As it is, we can't really even observe consciousness in the human brain or even clearly define it yet in a way everyone would agree upon.

Even when it comes to facets that have splintered off of a whole, I believe those can still be elaborated to the point that one might consider them to constitute whole people in their own right under certain philosophies.

One might make the comparison to a starfish. Sever a limb in the right place, and that limb might grow into a new starfish. It came from the original. It shares all of its DNA with it. That limb was even attached and moved in accordance to the thought patterns of the parent. But it's no longer the same starfish.

But let's play with this analogy further. Let's visualize an advanced species of fully sapient alien starfish. One of these starfish decides to pilot a giant robot. This starfish flies this robot around for a while. It's a single pilot in a single mech. But this starfish finds the task difficult to do alone, and splits itself into five pieces. Over time, these pieces grow, each becoming a new starfish, but having memories of when they were a single starfish.

While piloting, they operate the craft as singe unit. But eventually, this team of pilots exits the craft. Five pilots come out where one went in.

Are these the same starfish, or are they separate? Each starfish broke off from a single starfish. Each share memories up until the point of separation. But each may have deviated in different ways over time.

And who are these starfish? Which one would be the original? Any of them, none of them, or all of them?

One could say that the ability to fuse is proof that every headmate is indeed the same person, but I would counter this by asking one to visualize a table with a single water droplet. Imagine that you take a thin ruler and divide this water droplet in half, scooting half to the side. Do you now have one water droplet, two water droplets, or two halves of a water droplet? Do the split droplets no longer qualify as a droplets in their own right because they were split? And what happens when you push them back together? Would this fusion prove that they were never separate to begin with?

So where does consciousness fall into this?

In the end, science doesn't provide a right answer to these questions. What view is more logical will come down to a matter of perspective and your individual philosophy.

I don't want to change your mind here, just let you know that if you feel like separate people and identifying that way feels healthier for the system, then it's okay to do so, and isn't less valid than the alternative.

[rotten-games]

How good are the RoT & CoI LIs with kids?

This is the closest thing I can find to this for the rott ROs but I'll answer how *good* they are with kids for both.

RotT

Ardwen: he knows, technically, how to care for a child, but in practise that is... more difficult. For reasons, yes, reasons.

Arke: he likes children... but he also has no idea how to care for himself some days let alone a tiny being.

Bex: He is very good with children. 10/10 world's best dad/guardian/babysitter.

Cal: shes alright with children. Maybe a bit inexperienced but she has the basics down.

Druvel: ehhhhhh. "Children like games right? And... and milk?" <- Real footage of Druvel trying to figure out how to care for a child.

Emil: Emil likes children... from very far away... and as a concept but not in practice.

Ettia: Well one would certainly hope so. She has many a child so being good with them should be a must.

Gwyn: He thinks they're fun to prank... and that's it.

Herron: he is, perhaps, just a tad, awkward with children. He doesn't dislike them by any means but he doesn't quite know how to cater to them.

Keller: she enjoys children and children enjoy her, after all, she's very good at piggyback rides! And she is also good at caring for them.

Korrin: they're about average with kids. They enjiy their company well enough but they do get... taxing to deal with on occasion.

Lokeira: Lokeira is... not... so... good with children. They have tiny little grabby hands and they touch a lot and ask questions he doesn't want to answer. Very harrowing.

Necrolym: he loves kids, and is actually very good with them. He is more on the playful and fun side than the strict side but he doesn't need to be strict when they aren't his own kids.

Nox: they're fun to make fun of and watch bumble around but she doesn't feel qualified to be anywhere near them... she's just as short as they are and has an axe twice their height. Seems... unwise.

Qora: Not great with them, tbh. For one she always has to watch Zora around them in case they get too close and for another they're so... touchy. Not something she handles well.

Severa: She never had much contact with her younger siblings, and she never learned how t be around children. She doesn't know what she's doing.

Spotter: They love kids, don't get me wrong, but they are not good with them. If a kid even cries ONCE Spotter will fold to the immense pressure and give them what they want.

CoI

Allard: Bad. Bad, bad, bad with children. Do you want them to give the kid a knife????

Mordred: also bad with children but less so. He would only give them, like, an entire rotisserie chicken.

Doc: she's pretty good. She's calm, collected, very gentle with them when they need some medicine. She finds them funny.

Lowrie: awkward. Veeerrryyyy awkward. They don't know how to teach a child how to protect themself without first destroying their nice view of the world.

Carol: She loves children, really she does, but she can get a bit impatient with them. She's not actually very good with them, as she never quite learned those skills.

Ridley: They think children are nice enough. They are okay with them, give them plenty of respect and space, but they wouldn't know how to care for one.

Harley: They're like the favourite uncle in the family but they aren't interested in actually caring for a child if they don't have to. A little bit of babysitting yes, a full time parent job no.

Adrastea: they do not like children. They're just... very... snotty. That may be a misconception on her part due to not actually having seen any children post their own childhood.

Deimos: do... do kids eat, like, grains or something...?

Saga: Never seen a child but boy do they want to! They kind of seem like they'd be fun to have around.

Arthur: He is actually surprisingly good with them. Maybe not parent material but definitely reclusive but kind uncle material.

Perci: She thinks they're neat but she's far too busy to really pay them much attention. Or be good with them. Do they wanna check out her tattoos?

Dagda: Eh, no, pure ambivalence here. Which means they're not very good with them.