#I dont care I just want to talk abt my special interest

[strongestrat]

HIIIII HI HELLO ENTROPY ZERO PEOPLE IT IS I AND I HAVE COME TO DEFEND AIDEN WALKER/BAD COP AND IF U THINK HES ANNOYING UR WRONG AND SHOULD FEEL BAD /j

Bad cop in entropy zero 1 wasn't exactly the blank slate people expect from half life games/mods, but he didn't have much depth-- all we really knew back then was that he was quippy and very good at his job. He doesn't like people at all and is loyal to the combine to a fault, but we don't know his past, what his motivations are, and we kind of don't need to. EZ1 is about survival in a harsh environment where everything and anything is trying to kill u and u just sort of stop a gigantic rebel plot by accident and u get a shiny (mandatory) promotion out of all of it.

Entropy zero 2's writing is really fucking underappreciated because it takes that basic framework and elaborates on it ingeniously. When he insults people he kills or says "people suck" its not because he's quirky or some kind of generic marvel character it's because people do genuinely fucking SUCK. They used a mentally ill man as a scapegoat for a crime he was a victim of that cost him his family, locked him in a prison/care facility and tried to "change" him. Because he wasn't "normal" to their standards. They stripped him of every single comfort and right he had, every reason he ever had to care about a human being, not just the justice system and prosecutors who failed him and the caretakers who likely neglected or mistreated him but the people who hurt his family and took his daughter and the people who likely discriminated against him simply for existing in a neurotypical society.

This also gives Aiden a degree of separation from loyalty to the combine. He's not just evil for the sake of it he wants to find his daughter Ava and the combine's family cohesion perks are the only chance he has. He's loyal but only because he has an incentive to, and he won't hesitate to kill anyone, and I do mean *anyone*, including his coworkers and a fucking COMBINE ADVISOR if he thinks they can't help him or are trying to stop him from finding Ava. He's good at his job but gets in trouble for killing other cops in a rage induced stupor (not unlike victor-sixty) and of course because these are cops and his boss likes him the chief lets him go with a slap on the wrist and "outland duty" because he is "worth 10 of those guys", and he fucking IS. And Aiden takes it like a champ bc he will do fucking anything to find Ava. His Humor doesn't resonate with everyone and that is understandable (some ppl find him annoying and hes not for everyone), but he's not trying to be funny for funny's sake! He's using it as a coping mechanism for the fact that he has nothing else left and he's being lead along in the hope that he can regain atleast SOMETHING from his old life.

And of course, there is the master template (clone cop) and wilson. I love u wilson and u are definitely the canon ending but i wish i didnt have to babysit u without feeling bad I am getting sidetracked

A clone plot is hard to pull off and in most cases fails spectacularly but in Entropy Zero 2 it just fucking works. Clone cop/master is just the older clone of Aiden but fucking UNHINGED. His loyalty to the combine is gone because he realized they're just using him as an effective tool, and the moment he gets Ava he has no reason to fight for them anymore. So naturally he RIPS OUT A PART OF HIS FUCKING SKULL AND SUSTAINS HIMSELF WITH BOOTLEG CYBERNETICS (I am not joking EZ2 is good at environmental storytelling u can find his fucking skullcap in his little laboratory just before plan B) there are so many little details I noticed on clone cop just before escorting judith on how he butchered himself just to stay independent and have a better chance at finding Ava. His will is fuckign unbreakable which feeds directly into his relationship with the player character Aiden. Clone cop is less of a clone then the Aiden u play as is!!! He even has the prototype AR2! In contrast, the Aiden u play as is clearly modified-- He's much more loyal to the combine but his will isn't unbreakable, and while Wilson doesn't directly factor into whether or not he chooses to fight the Advisor Wilson is CRUCIAL. Clone cop is methodical, using the survival skills from the events of the first game to subvert the rebels, the wildlife, even the combine-- The player character Aiden in turn is (arguably) less badass then Clone cop precisely because they modified him to be more loyal, taking away some of that incredible will and tenacity to try and keep him under wraps. This is proven in the there will be darkness ending where Aiden is mowed down like a standard grunt as soon as his memories/what makes him himself are taken from him.

THE WILSON ENDING IS THE CANON ENDING. THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE.

Wilson is such a fucking important support friend for Aiden because he actually gets the chance to talk with something that isn't a human and is very sympathetic. Aiden goes from being fed up with him and using him as a survival tool to being genuinely concerned for him over the course of the game, Wilson is at first just a way for Bad cop to escape the lab beneath arbiet and maybe pick up supply caches scattered across the other arbiet facilities and sure MAYBE that's the only reason that Aiden brings him along at first but Wilson is very nice and sympathetic and he doesn't judge Aiden and it just. Gives Aiden a chance to rant about his feelings and open up and remember things instead of taking medication and bottling all of his emotions up. Wilson in turn is just thankful to escape the labs beneath arbiet and maybe have a chance at becoming an administrator AI one day if Aiden uploads him into the arbiet AI mainframe!!!! And the coolest part out of all of this is that clone cop only used Wilson as a tool and didn't really care about him but someone like Wilson is exactly what he needed to start healing!!! And the fact that Wilson is able to infiltrate the combine network undetected and free Aiden from the Combine when he's captured out of unconditional love and the fact that "hes da boss" is fucking GREATI am just fucking! Going insane!!! Its so well written!

In entropy zero 3 wilson and aiden will destroy the combine forever and victor sixty will also be there and he and Aiden will get married (real)

[guinevereslancelot]

is there any worse feeling than when you feel like someone is mad at you bc they literally are mad at you

[voidzphere]

☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!

[ ALL THE BLOGZ I RUN: @killersanz (killer sans askblog) @killzbitezz (non-utmv blog) @utmv-callouts (utmv-calloutz) ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

╭───────────── * ˚ ✦

HII !! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog ^_^ i luvv my prtnerz !! @mewobrute @sharkk-fin @glitchy-skull <3 (more stuff under the cut!!)

╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆

✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<

FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓

my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)

my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)

i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]

I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!

I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNERZ <333

some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !

i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3

some of my fav bandz/artistz are talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !

some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !

✩ my tagz !

#killz art - my art !! :3

#killz rb - reblogz

#killz yapz - my yap sessionz

#killz answerz - answerz to my askz

#vent kinda - my (kinda) ventz

#tag/ask game - self-explanatory

#killersanz - stuff related to my killer sans ask blog !

#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3

#killz srb - self reblogz

✩ dni

basic dni criteria

istz + phobez

epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.

pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)

irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)

minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework

slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu

mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)

unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2

anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)

HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (tbh i dont rlly care if you like these mediaz and interact with me, just dont talk abt it in front of me yknow)

✩ byi + boundariez

i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.

i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.

im not a roleplay account btw /srs

my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3

DO NOT REPOST MY ART. i will find you

if you use my art, credit me. you dont alwayz gotta ask me before usin my art, but i appreciate it if you do !!

my askbox + dmz are alwayz open !! i love meetin new people n gettin to know em :] im fine w tagz, commentz, & spam-likez/reblogz too !

i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).

just because i make suggestive jokez and im hypersexual doez not mean i'm not sex-replused from time to time.

im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.

i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3

i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.

i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny ^_^ (only if theyre in the wrong and deserve it.)

i have strong opinionz and will shit-talk you if you're a weirdo who deservez it.

my blog, my rulez <3

★ last updated: 5/23/24

[yonpote]

another thing is like... under capitalism, business success and wealth begin to alienate you from others who don't have that. and that alienation can feed into greed, like why not keep investing and making business deals and buying expensive stuff? and no one around is really going to call you out because they are either capitalist hacks or maybe people who once struggled who now rely on you.

so like, I don't inherently expect much from creators like dnp who come into money. even though they probably have more financial freedom than many other creators because of all the tours, books, games, etc (because they are good at business!)

so like, as their fans who ultimately are their consumers, I think it's good to call them out, especially because they have shown before that they have good intentions.

am I expecting much from them? no. wealth can be corrupting and speaking out comes with risk to business/career interests. but they have a special relationship with their audience, as we're mostly all fellow queer and neurodivergent people with similar interests. so we can provide feedback and be the ones to try to ground them and be like "hey that wasn't cool please do better." stopping engagement with them and their content entirely doesn't really do anything to help, unless they did something they needed to absolutely be deplatformed for. stopping engagement is a valid personal choice, but when I see stuff that begins to resemble like 'they aren't being activists right now time for everyone to unstan' I'm like... if that makes you feel better, fine, but I would rather parasocially / affectionately be like "hey I expect more from you!" in a way that is constructive. which is something I would want to do with my friends, but the difference is, if my friends didn't change or try to then I probably would distance myself from them. Whereas Dan and Phil are entertainers we don't now irl, we have a different relationship with them. but compared to many other creators, they really do tend to be more sensitive to their audience (which has helped their success).

but so this time the (mostly leftist) phannies calling them out actually got them to do a fundraiser so that's cool! even if it's because of the backlash like, that's what the point of backlash is! we should want people to change behavior. not to just abstractly punish them, for something they could be unlikely to do without pressure. though hopefully it will lead to less instances of having to pressure them.

idk this brings up interesting stuff about parasocial relationships, the transactions between creators and their audience, and capitalism. so of course I had to rant about it for a sec lol.

thats completely true! thank u for the rant lol but yeah i dont want to come across as being like, NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM YOUR FAV CREATORS it was more like, with dnp specifically we know where their heart is i guess so it can be unnecessary to call for whatever. BUT you're absolutely right in that they probably wouldn't have done a charity stream were it not for pressure from fans. and maybe this is ME being parasocial but i'd like to think that this isn't for damage control or performativism (i mean it is a LITTLE cuz any publicity is a little bit abt looking good) but rather like, putting their money where their mouth is basically! and showing to their core audience like hey we care about this thing too and we fully hear you.

i was thinking about this General concept wrt dnp because i think there have been other moments where dnp were called out about something or criticized for like their more offensive humor and they stopped doing that and educated themselves which is better than most creators who put up fakeass apology videos. ive seen a lot of ppl say they want dan to talk about and apologize for his racist and sexist humor (and honestly only asking dan but not bringing up that phil also had his share of racist jokes) but it's like. at this point what further could he say? he's not a 21 year old shit head anymore (and yeah good for you for being a socially aware 21 y/o in 2024 but that offensive humor literally was just the culture of that time period) and they both have SHOWN that they have grown and even talked about it in like the pinof react video where they talked about "yeah we bullied kristen stewart a lot cuz it was just popular to make fun of her and justin bieber and that really sucks that we did that" like they have changed and shown change! they do not need to make a grand apology statement cuz like if you wanna talk performativism then lets talk about the fakeness of basically every apology video on the internet????

sorry thats unrelated to what u were talking abt but it just made me start thinking BUT YEAH THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOT TAKES!!!!

[conanssummerchild]

stranger things characters as taylor swift albums

i saw someone make a post abt this and i decided to make my own lol. ngl it was really hard to decide and im not even sure i agree with myself, if u think smth else feel free to tell me!

Dustin Henderson as Debut

To me Debut is about youth and first loves and messing up and the lessons you learn, its about feeling like an outsider but also about being with the people you love, those who you dont feel whole without. I think that that matches well with Dustin's character, he's energetic and excited to learn and experience things, he cares for his friends deeply but can feel left out sometimes.

El Hopper as Fearless

I think Fearless is about new beginnings and second chances, about being young and in love, wishing for your fairytale ending and being dissapointed when real life isn't like a movie. It's about highschool and being brave, it's about family, found and otherwise. It's about being fifteen. El is such a pure character, she's brave and willing to stand up when she has to, but wanting to be more than that, trying to be a teenager, making the best of something bad.

Will Byers as Speak Now

Speak Now is an album about growing up but never wanting to, it's about trying to hold onto your childhood, about whimsical fantasies, about foolishness and the broken hearts that come with it, about loving and fighting and making up and hoping those special moments in your life are long lived. Speak Now is about innocence and the loss of it. Will isn't ready to move on and grow up the way his friends seem to be, he wishes that things could be how they used to because it was so much better back then, he loves bravely and says what's on his mind, but keeps some things quietly locked away, afraid.

Robin Buckley as Red

Red is kind of a lonely album, that of a people person who never has her own people in the end. It's a coming of age album about the realities of growing up and being forgotten, it's full of heartbreak and fear of rejection, it's a catchy melody with sad lyrics, but it is filled to the brim with burning red love and passion too. From the moment Robin was introduced she was clever and snarky, passionate and confident and lovable. Behind that she was a deep character, a brave one, she is undeniably, iconically her.

I KNOW this song isnt originally from red but i like it :(

Steve Harrington as 1989

If you asked me I'd say that 1989 is about partying and being young and having fun and being in love. It's about petty grudges and and love that feels all-encompassing, but is really just suffocating, it's about what people say about you and who you really are. It's about moving on and being clean and starting anew despite the strangers talking about what's not theirs to talk about. Steve is a character that has constantly bettered himself, constantly having to prove that he isn't the same person he was. He's fallen in love and had to fall out of it time and time again.

Nancy Wheeler as reputation

reputation is about revenge and also karma, it's about killing the old you but not forgetting her, it's about new loves and not letting yourself get pushed around, it's about how delicate life and love can be. It pushes the boundries of cold and seeming like you dont care. But you do. Nancy is an interesting character to say the least, she's brave and strong and she struggles with showing her emotions and care, sometimes hurting people because of it, but she tries.

Lucas Sinclair as Lover

Lover is warm and comforting like the sun coming out after a dark day. It's about doing your best to overcome hardships, it's about who you are because of them, not despite them. It's about letting go, letting yourself forget instead of holding on tight to the hurt, turning a fresh page instead of trying to change an already used up one. It's about love. Lucas is so kind and caring, he wants the best for everyone he loves and he loves so purely, he's a character who has been hurt repeatedly but has stayed strong. He's a lover, both romantically and platonically.

Mike Wheeler as folklore

folklore is a cold winter that seems to go on forever with no relief. It's sitting in a vast field of snow without a jacket by your own choice, it's about constantly trying and failing and everyone around you chastising you for not being better. It's about pulling up to the lookout and screaming into the emptiness to give you a reason for your pain. It's about failing in love and messing up with the one. Other people's pain seems to seep into you and you keep the burden of it. folklore is suffocating despair and the love you can only wish for but never have. Mike is the only one who I knew what album I was going to asign him from the start, he's a sad, lonely character who tries to help everyone but himself. His pain is invisible to those around him because he keeps it close and hidden, he lashes out and digs himself further into a hole he cannot get out of on his own.

Max Mayfield as evermore

evermore is the coldest autumn, the trees obscure your view but you've long since stopped trying to reach for the fading sun. The rain falls but you can only sometimes feel it, you try to pretend it's fine this way, yet you keep venturing deeper into the thick forest. The truth is you are stuck, and as much as you pretend you're not it won't stop the mud from sticking to your soles and trying to pull you in as you reject the branches reaching for you. evermore is what happens when love can't overcome all. Max is sarcastic and fun, but there's always that overlying fear and anger that she eventually falls into, she's hurt and she can't move on from the things that have happened to her.

Jonathan Byers as Midnights

Midnights is an album of staying awake at night, all alone in the haze you thought fit two. The things you've seen and done haunt you, they make you lose sleep, all you've lost and gained, all you never had to begin with and never will. It's simple really, you're on your own. Jonathan is a loner, he's lost so much and matured too much for his age. He never had relief from his responsibilities, always needing to be present. It's a tiring life to live.

[desire-mona]

[YOUR NEW CYBER GIRLFRIEND IS INSTALLED AND READY TO CHAT]

click below to get started (this is my intro post!)

> chatroom is open

> desire-mona is online

ALSO KNOWN AS: @ask-captain-keating @esse-lunam

3:39 am, Mar. 5

haii :3c

my name is mona, but u can call me mo, mj, ramona, momo, etc. if any name starting with m calls to you theres a good chance i'll let you call me that.

some basic stuff, im 19, audhdmaxxing, agender, and use they/them pronouns (well aware that i use "girl" and "girlfriend", im a girl when i see fit), and im bi for the sake of a label but my sexuality is pretty enigmatic

ive got a special in interest internet history so theres a good chance i will make posts about random dead memes or youtube videos or whatever else

my hyperfixations vary VASTLY so i see no point in listing what i fluctuate between, but right now the move is middle aged actors / comedians who are a little weird

robert sean leonard and danny pudi specifically, but you could squeeze a conversation about david tennant or chris fleming outta me

im also pretty into reality shifting but PLEEEEASE dont call me a freak and tell me to see a psychiatrist </3 you will receive anthrax in your mailbox </3 i dont care if u think its lucid dreaming </3 i also dont talk abt it at all on this blog so tbh u can just close ur eyes xoxo

some media based things i enjoy include: dead poets society, house md, community, memento, station eleven, fleabag, spiderverse, saiki k, bistro huddy, rhett and link, and a plethora of different analog horror adjacent videos

so if u have like any of these things in common with me then u can follow me if u want, odds r i will follow u back and think ur awesome and wanna be ur best friend forever and ever and ever and ever and ever

also i will most definitely continue to have random bursts of inactivity so sorryyyy!!!!

oh and id prefer u were 16+ before following but im pretty lax so dont lose sleep over it

think thats it, baiiii

> chatroom is closed

> desire-mona is offline

[livisart]

Can I ask what happened with Datakits, I'm in the species and I'm concerned.

this ask is like half a year old at this point so idk if ur still interested. but basically:

(tw suicide)

my ex (who is a datakits moderator) conducted a smear campaign against me. this included completely made up and ridiculous stalking accusations (which were based on me doing things like "talking about a video game with someone" and "following someone on artfight") accusations of "harassment" (because i "vagueposted" by referencing my trauma in the tags of ONE tumblr post. why my ex has such in depth knowledge of everything i post on tumblr when he claimed to want nothing to do with me, i dont know. lmao) etc. he even went so far as to take my attempts at recovery and improving myself after a traumatic event and twist that to be me trying to get back on his good side or whatever. he also outright told ppl to just block me and not talk to me, i'm guessing because his narrative required no one getting my side of things.

some of the people he spread this to were the datakit owners, because me being "too active" in that server was apparently malicious according to him (the actual reason i was very active in the datakits server was because datakits were and still are a special interest of mine and a HUGE comfort to me, and this was abt 2 weeks after i attempted suicide, hence me trying to cope using things i take comfort in???? also i was not given a warning abt being too active, if i was being too active and causing discomfort i should have just been told so)

the datakit owners took his inane bs as 100% fact, did not talk to me abt it, banned and blocked me, and sent my ex to tell me about it. which is horrible species management, but i digress.

once again, this all took place abt 2 weeks after i tried to jump in front of a god damn train. and my ex springing all this on me and spreading shit abt me made me suicidal again. which my ex used to spread that i was "using suicide to guilt him", which is a fucking vile thing to say abt someone who literally just attempted suicide.

i eventually got one of the owners to talk to me and explained the situation.

here's the kicker. even though the owners are now aware of, and fully believe and acknowledge that the shit spread abt me was false, i remain banned, because apparently the shit my ex spread abt me made one of the owners too ~uncomfortable~ with me due to ~associations~/banning me is "irreversible" for some unexplained reason. meanwhile my ex remains a mod and did not face any disciplinary action because "hE gEnUiNelY tHouGht yOu wErE sTaLkiNg hIm" and "he has paranoia and experiences delusions so you being mad at him is ableist actually uwu" (i'm BARELY paraphrasing here)

as someone who ALSO has paranoia and experiences delusions, i honestly find the notion of "mentally ill ppl cant help but spread lies abt ppl uwu" really insulting. but whatever. especially since his actions ACTUALLY ALMOST CAUSED SOMEONE'S DEATH because his little smear campaign caused me enough distress that i attempted suicide again :))))

the owner did keep in contact with me while i was in the psych ward, which was nice i guess except our conversations almost entirely consisted of him defending his and the other owners actions because "ummm in our defense the allegations were ~serious~" and insisting that i shouldnt hold any of this against him or the other owner.

ive been very afraid to talk abt this because my ex also made a point to tell me that he "could do a lot worse to ruin my life if he wanted to", and i believe him. but honestly i dont fucking care anymore

[yandere-daze]

hello~! im a new anon here, but ive been seeing your works for awhile and thank you for the hardwork!

ive been wanting to talk abt the enstars self aware au for awhile heheh. this isnt a request, just a passing thought abt a self aware where the reader knows what theyre doing and what kind of situation theyre in but doesnt do anything abt it. especially the moments when theyre transported into the world.

like oh, everyone is putting them on a pedestal for some reason and is somehow unhealthily obsessed with that fact? sure, do as you like it as long as you dont do overly dangerous things. they also dont take the suuper intense parts of it seriously, basically turning a blind eye to it! reader can and will know when they’re getting into it, though. and once it gets on their nerves they will take action.

(i honestly just want a really cool reader for self indulgence like itd be really awesome methinks)

ALSO IVE RECENTLY DISCOVERED THAT YOURE A VALKYRIE AND ARASHI ENJOYER CAN I BE 🖼 ANON OMGOMG HI RAPIDLY WAVES HAND

Welcome to the blog, 🖼 anon !!! Happy to have you around!! And yes, my skrunklies, my beloved, they have a special place in my heart! Valkyrie and Arashi *twirls strand of hair*💕💕

Ohoho a very different take on the player in the AU, a very interesting idea!!!!

gn reader

tw yandere, some gross behavior, obsession, stalking, stealing, mention of murder

A player that turns a blind eye to the way the characters obsess over them

So a player that doesn´t care too much about the creepy behavior, huh? It seems realistic, at least not thinking that the characters are sentient when you play the game. Normally, as soon as you find yourself in the world of Ensemble Stars, your perception would change though and most people would most likely freak out. It´s something that the idols may even have anticipated even though they hope that you´re happy to see them and spend time with them.

And it looks like that is exactly the case! You don´t seem to mind when they trail behind you or hug you a little too tightly. You don´t even mind when they don´t immediately let go of you afterward or sniff your hair a little. Is this you reciprocating their affection in your own way?

And sure, it´s kind of unsettling how they´re putting you on a pedestal and basically worshipping the ground you walk on, and they also don´t ever leave you alone. But it´s not like they´re actively harming you in any way so is it really that bad? You just let them be.

Honestly, you´re just making this worse for yourself in the end because they don´t really fear that you might grow to hate them if they act on their yandere urges, so they kind of just do whatever they want and things spiral out of control way faster.

Oh, you don´t mind if they take some photos of you while you aren´t looking, right? Some aren´t even trying to hide while stalking you because they´re convinced you would love them anyway. Your clothes are also quickly disappearing one by one, as they all want to be as close to you as they can, and even though you let them hang around you as much as they like, they still can´t bear the thought of being away from you for even a minute so they need a piece of you to go to sleep.

Some shameless attention-hogs like Ritsu or Rinne might even straight-up break into your room and sneak into your bed to sleep right next to you.

Please be very careful, because you need to be very firm when you set clear boundaries for the others. You won´t be as paranoid if you simply try to accept their strange behavior but they will start to step out of line very quick if you don´t do anything. They just grow more unhinged every day and your acceptance proves that it´s worth fighting for the right to be your one and only. You may approve of their “affection” but you also don´t reprimand the others, right? So maybe they do need to try and get rid of the others that are taking advantage of you like that.

They´re the one that loves you the most!

So please, at least try to tell them to stop before they actually start murdering each other

[demisexual-in-distress]

Any *SHNIFFFFF* helluva and/or hazbin headcanons??? o-o

*AHEHEHEHEM* I CAN RANT YES UR SUMMONING MY INNER NERD (LONG) (SORRY THIS HAS BEEN ROTTING IN MY ASK BOX IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR A WHILE NOW)

pls dont flop i spent way too many hours on this lol only doing 6 (six) from the main casts!!! And, sadly, no, Fizzarolli is not included, though I do love him dearly.

Helluva Headcanons:

Blitz:

frickin loves spirit

(saw this somewhere else not sure where) huge-ass horns scratch up his couch, hence the shitty tears

Makes sure to cherish Loona as much as possible on her bday bc of trauma from his childhood

Wants to be the parent possible to her also due to trauma (daddy issues :\)

Insecure about his scars :(

Lost Verosika because he adopted Loona in a last-ditch effort to save their relationship, but refused to get rid of her when V wasn't a fan

Eats anything and everything Brandon Rogers does (canon??) (such as cheese and hotsauce)

Told Barbie about his crush on Fizz before trying to tell Fizz himself

never grew out of bands he liked as a teen

Undiagnosed learning disabilites (dyslexia? he tries his best)

Poor education

(TW, S.A.) Stolas:

WATCHES EVERY TELENOVELA IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

Also enjoys musicals and constantly sings soundtracks while alone (projecting a bit)

Genuinely wants Via and Loona to hang out; wants some sort of father-daughter bond? with Loona, but isn't sure how to approach her

was verbally, physically, and sexually abused by Stella in their "relationship"

GREY'S ANATOMY

I think we all know this by now... Eyeliner.

Black sheep (canon?)

plays some sort of classical instrument idk (piano?)

PAINTS (happy little trees)

Big fan of Cruel Prince series yk

Big fan of fantasy in general

Nerds abt astronomy to Via

Adelle. No other words.

Wattpad user u can't convince me otherwise

Definitely neurodivergent

Millie:

Dyed Sallie Mae's hair when she transitioned, was a makeshift hairdresser for a little while (till Sal figured out how to do it herself)

Had a lot of pets as a child

Tries to stay in contact with all her siblings. Emphasis on tries.

Used to get homesick A LOT

Homeschooled

Ik it's a common one now, but babysat Loona while Blitz was in prison, leading to her and Moxxie meeting

THIS GURL CAN HANDLE HER DAMN DRINKS ‼️

Best homemade recipes by far

Has and will not hesitate to eat a bug once more

Very organized

Moxxie:

Likes to write

MUSICALS (canon) he loves phantom, les mis, and a gentleman's guide to love and murder (ahahhaem Bryce pinkham)

Has many hyperfixations! AUDHD

Loves kids, but gets overstimulated/overwhelmed when taking care of them

In severe need of validation due to trauma

Cat person

Out on a limb here but likes pottery

Bouncy leg stim yk

Panic! At the Disco led to his bi realization

Violinist just trust me

Loves mice for some odd reason

Gullible? Is that canon?

Can sketch pretty good!

Overwhelmed by loud noises and crowded spaces

Loona:

ACE SPECTRUM!!!!

Watches movies with blitz late at night as a tradition

Taught Blitz makeup tips for when he does his weird drag human disguise thing

follows 666 News on the hotel's strange journey

percussionistcore idk how else to say that

Knows EXACTLY how to deal with a hangover (ty blitz)

Social anxiety (might break this down in a seperate post cuz im in a ranty mood)

Has seen the show daria (or at least the hell version) (yall better kno wut im talking about)

Tries not to spend too much / is gentle with Blitz's bank account

Octavia:

Deep down, a sanrio girl is born

Nightcore bitches u already know

Very polarized when it comes to her relationship with stolas (canon?)

Has attempted to bring Stolas into her world - definitely shares her special interests with him, he tries his best to support

Plays at least ONE classical instrument bc she wanted to make Stolas proud :,) (never said she was good at it)

Very sheltered when it comes to Stolas and Stella's actual relationship toward each other

avid collector of taxidermy and other creepy things

She definitely knows those OG goth dances

Photography!!

Dr Martens do i have to say more

Hazbin Headcanons:

TW for Angel Dust and Niffty's (of all people), S.A. mentions.

Charlie:

YA sapphic romances!!!

Webtoon freak

Pinterest whore

Listens to Katy Perry + Hayley Kiyoko

Sanrio again!! Aggretsuko or Chococat r her favs

Can genuinely help people through tough times

Autism spectrum? a little out on a limb here, but she seems to have a hard time breaking down the psychology of sinning/sinners

Paints Vaggie's nails all the time

Vaggie was so her bi awakening; Seviathan and Vaggie were her only two relationships

CATS!!

LOVES Pixy Stix yk they're just straight up sugar

has a diary lol

ADHD

Vaggie:

feels so indebted to Charlie because of how much she took care of her after Falling

girl in red kind of sapphic

Struggles with self-worth

Definitely best exorcist girl on Adam's team

Lute was searching for a reason to get rid of her

brushes Charlie's hair idk

Candles. I don't know why

OPENS/CLOSES DOORS WITH THOSE HUGE ASS HIPS IDK ITS JUST RIGHT TO ME

Doesn't have the heart to tell Charlie when she's not fully correct on something

Origami

Wakes up at ungodly hours due to nightmares and anxiety, lock checks the hotel ALL THE TIME

honestly, tumblr user, silent reblogs

Alastor (sorry, most deal with his time alive):

Genuinely beginning to care for the hotel-- it scares him.

DADDY ISSUES + MOMMY ISSUES HE'S COLLECTED THEM ALL!!!!

Follow up: traumatic childhood

Mauled by dogs (is this still canon? Was this ever canon? DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER THAT???)

Knows the basics of technology, refuses to acknowledge it

Constantly playing jazz music from his radio in his room

Has a very vivid memory of his past, will not let himself forget it

Needs fucking glasses but that monocle don't do shit

Tea > coffee

Was convinced his asexuality was a flaw after being told so

Held onto Mimzy for the sake of nostalgia and memories of time alive

Insomniac

Nerd for jazz

Spoke some French as a child, though he isn't fluent

Husk's and Angel's get a bit detailed... I'm a slut for characters with such a vast possibility of headcanons

Husk (yeah I realize this won't make as much sense if you don't know all of his lore because of my obsession with him, I'll clarify what's already canon):

BLEEDS INTO ALASTOR, ALSO STRANGELY DETAILED: While alive, Husk played the saxophone professionally (canon). In his afterlife, as an overlord, he had one and continued to play bc us musicians r weird fucks who love to torture ourselves. Alastor knew he could play, and, being a jazz lover, LOVES that aspect of Husk. Just about the only thing he likes about him. Now, at the hotel, while he no longer plays, Alastor still brought his saxophone, which rots in Husk's closet.

Niffty's in his room ALL THE FUCKING TIME, it can't possibly get dirty

Doesn't make a mess to begin with--- husk hasn't personalized his room at all since he arrived, he doesn't know when Alastor will pull him out

Is used to that kind of travel anyways, since he did so much when he was alive (canon!!)

Never was that close to his parents-- they were busy with the (canon->) casino

Is (surprisingly) educated on LGBTQIA+ terms, labels, and knows about the most important landmark events in the community's history, he just prefers not to use labels for himself

Close to Niffty, has had conversations with her in Japanese (canonically speaks it) to prevent Alastor from understanding

Always wanted kids, knew he didn't have a stable enough life to have them and didn't want them to have a repeat of his own parents' absence in his childhood

MIXED RACE!! A bit of everything, I'd like to say

Had glasses when he was alive, where the fuck did they go in the afterlife

ACE SPECTRUM (previous post)!!! Demisexual & demiromantic (can u tell I'm projecting a lil???)

Hates KeeKee

Hates large crowds + loud noises, idk it speaks to me, especially with those big ass ears

I don't fully lean towards him being neurodivergent, though I do believe that Husk likes to have something to do with his hands as a form of stimming, if that makes sense

Alone most of his life

(TW, S.A.) Angel Dust (a lot of when he was alive):

Lived with Molly while alive

Was disowned when he got the courage to come out to his dad, fell out of the mafia and had to make a living for the first time ever

Wanted to be an actor, never got casted (while alive) due to being queer

Valentino romanticized his career, making him believe that he wouldn't always be the actor that he is

Career was also romanticized by the fact that he was finally accepted as gay

Performed in drag at gay bars

Borrowed dresses, makeup, other "feminine" things/accesories from Molly, who had a similar style

Isn't as up-to-date with technology and modern things as he seems to be

Tries to cover up both (slight) italian and New York(er?) accent, fails miserably

Had fish while alive (canonically loves fish lol)

Brother + father didn't attend his funeral

Met Cherri very close to when she arrived in Hell

learns more about media and pop culture from Cherri

Originally was in something like a relationship, but it was more of S.A. than consenting sex after a while. When he began to disagree, this showed more prominently.

I don't have anything for Niffty except for one thing, so trigger warning once more. I believe that Niffty came from an immigrant family from Japan—half white. In the 50s, housewives got a bit stir-crazy from all the work they did, leading to hysteria, anxiety, depression, and other issues. In some situation where leaving the house was necessary, I believe one or multiple guys, possibly older, attempted to sexually assault Niffty. Asian girls, such as myself, that look like that "stereotypical" East Asian, young, small, etc., are fetishized. Niffty must've been little, judging by her form, and she was also an immigrant, and also a WOMAN—seen as lesser. In self-defense, she killed him (or all of them? I'm leaning toward it being multiple), having had enough. She was soon diagnosed with the housewife syndrome and lobotomized, meaning they gave her SEVERE brain damage, hence her twisted mind in the afterlife.

Overall, Niffty is a character that we don't know much about yet. Of course I'll write my own story over that. Playing with fandoms is just what I do. :) While I do genuinely believe the part about her being lobotomized will become canon, the rest is, again, just something that's been brewing in my head for a while. Maybe I'll incorporate it in my own writing, who knows?

I wanna see other headcanons in the reblogs and replies :D If this does well, I always have more!

[the-owl-house-takes]

"huntlow didnt get enough time to get developed properly" true statement, we were all robbed of a third season and a lot of character development and chracter dynamics for many many characters and so on but its irrelevant to me cus i still wouldnt like it if it was properly developed. i know myself, id still be ok w it being part of the series but i still wouldnt have any interest in it and would find ship art equally annoying just cus i dont like it.

"if hunter was with a boy/willow was with a girl-" irrelevant, thats a different ship with a different character. there is no argument, stay on topic.

"bi/pan erasure or something along those lines" it has nothing to do with their sexualities and i dont care about canon or your headcanons or the characters sexualities none of that is relevant i just dont like them together as a ship

"huntlow antis/huntlow haters" be real. people can just dislike stuff without it being a big spectacle. do you think i put huntlow anti on my job resume or my tinder profile??? its not an identity, its just an opinion (also this is a salt blog. why are there sharks in the ocean)

"hunter having trauma doesnt mean he cant love" the grass is green the sky is blue i still dont have to like the ship and i still think hunters trauma takes priority for most people when they make huntlow stuff, maybe idk i have the tag blocked but ive seen some stuff and i see lots of arguments abt this. yes willow can be a rock for hunter but shes not supposed to be his only rock, hunter needing a rock is not supposed to be the only time they talk or interact, and there are ways to talk about hunter and huntlow without making it only trauma-related. i dont like the trauma-unrelated stuff either its still boring to me.

"something about willow idk i feel like people focus more on hunter when they argue about huntlow so i dont actually know any arguments about willow" willow is an underrated character and i love her but i still dont have to like the ship and i feel like a lot of the time people treat willow in general like one of her best character traits is Likes Hunter, or like shes hunters rock to lean on but never spin that around and let hunter be willows rock, and more often than not, somehow???, hunters trauma is still involved in willows insecurities or its used as part of how she heals from those insecurities?? like. can a girl not just say 'im worried about not being strong enough and being a burden' and not get 'when i was working for belos something something i thought i wasnt strong enough and i was wrong so ur strong too' and something like that like. a lot of huntlow stuff is like that ngl.

"just block people/the tags" I AM but like. i can still dislike it. and im perfectly valid in saying i think its annoying when i go to the tags and more than half the posts i scroll through are blocked cus its huntlow. im perfectly valid in saying i dont like ship whether i have the tags blocked or not.

"people can ship whatever they want" no they cant because i said so. the sun revolves around me. god watches me, his special little guy, fart and immediately cries in joy and throws a celebration party. (but also people are allowed to not ship stuff too like. it goes both ways.)

"so what are people just not supposed to make huntlow fanstuff" yes. i never want to see huntlow ever again my life. (but actually dont do that keep making stuff itd be sad if people stopped)

"everything you say is insane" ya

-

[zukkaoru]

i dont want to pry but i rly liked your trans yuki headcanons and im rly interested on what other stuff u have to say abt her character/backstory/anything really. im rly a big fan of your fics n i like your hcs n ideas in general and this is one thats sort of stuck with me because of the possibilities it has. anyways have a nice day x) (pls ramble as much as u want im all ears 😭😭)

ahhh thank you so much!! and yes i will galdly talk about my headcanons!!

okay so to me, yuki holds personal choice and her own free will in very high regard. this goes along with the fact that she was supposed to merge with tengen as a spv but ultimately didn't go through with it. as far as i know, it's unclear in canon why she didn't go through with the merger, but i think her own choice to walk away played a major role in it and the higher ups let her do it bc of her technique (and because they're cowards who fear special grade sorcerers but that's another conversation)

in terms of appearance and presentation, i think yuki likes to play around with that sort of stuff. this is why yuki w dark roots/bleached hair is so special to me. i think she gets piercings, and then lets them close up once she's tired of them. i think she gets tattoos, and then maybe gets a few covered up. i think she should get to dye her hair purple and blue and pink and whatever other colors she wants. i think she enjoys buying new clothes and putting outfits together and making herself look how she feels, and her being trans just fits in with that so well. and i think she knew she was trans from a young age, and that solid aspect of her identity was something she could hold onto even as a star plasma vessel who isn't supposed to have a sense of identity, and that was how she knew she wanted to continue living as herself instead of merging with tengen. and along with the clear choices yuki has made concerning her appearance, i also think she doesn't cover up any of the things that are proof she's lived. she doesn't cover up her scars or freckles or moles with makeup. she doesn't shave her arms or legs. because she wasn't supposed to live as long as she has - she was supposed to merge with tengen and lose herself in the process - so everything that is evidence of the life she's lived is a reminder of how far she's come. they're a reminder that she chose to live, and it's a choice she wakes up and makes every day.

i don't think yuki was ever very close to her parents, and she never really had friends at school either. she learned to rely on herself when she was young, so by the time she ended up at jujutsu high, she was already independent. i do, however, think she got along fine with her classmates. but she clashed with the higher ups and most of her teachers quite a bit, and was always labelled as a troublemaker. i also think she had to fight hard to get full acknowledgement as a special grade - a lot harder than gojo and geto, who were basically just given their rankings. i think she had to prove herself several times over before the higher ups finally promoted her to special grade. i also think she was probably the sort of student who would not hesitate to call out the teachers if they were wrong about something, or ask questions that no one else wants to think about the answers to (hence, her going off and doing research on her own after she graduated)

i also think, at some point, she told the higher ups' her intention to study cursed energy and curses and figure out a way to cut off the problem at its source, and they all laughed in her face. i think the higher ups have basically ridiculed/taunted/looked down upon her from the moment she rejected her merger, and there are a lot of rumors spread about her that paint her in a negative light because of it. sometimes, she plays into them just because it gets people to leave her alone. in reality, she can be kind when she wants, but she's also tough and mean and and blunt and doesn't care if she hurts your feelings. she prefers to work alone, but she has a soft spot for people she can see her younger self in - people who are trying to figure out who they are and what their purpose in the world is. i think this is probably why she took in todo and trained him; she saw something in him that reminded her of herself, back when she was desperate for even one other person who understood, and she took on that role of being todo's one person who could understand

anyway this is long already so i'll stop here but. to me, the best yuki is one who shamelessly alive. someone who nearly had her soul taken away from her and now knows how precious it is to be in your own body and make your own choices. she doesn't have time for regret or guilt. she's determined and stubborn. she's powerful, and she isn't afraid to prove it. she's smart, she's strong, she's flawed, and she is herself

[ggukiepie]

WOWOW. one of your girls is so yummy.

very excited for next part and to see your perspective and ideas.

but for me i think we’d need more angst rather then revenge. im assuming jk has lots of friends who he sleeps with and its not just yn. which means to him yn is nothing special (unfortunately) thats why i dont see the point of ‘revenge’ because realistically i dont think jk really cares if yn fucks with someone else which has been proved in already the first part. (jk knows yn sleeps with jimin yet doesnt seem to really care and only wants sex.) he only looked for her to sleep with her in the first place & not because he wanted to have a friendly conversation or check up on her. he started touching her before he knew about her sleeping with someone else.

its kinda the same with yn as yn also slept with jimin (which was so hot.) , except she seems to be interested in jungkook. but i dont think yn is really letting jk walk all over her because shes well aware that jk sleeps with other woman and she knows he lied to her yet choose to not speak up. although i love how she can control herself cause if i was in her place id try bring attention to myself and make jk jealous OR js go up to him and slap him especially when he said he ‘just’ left the party while he has a red stain on his shirt 🥸 but by the way she controlled herself and didnt even let jk know that she saw him with another woman, it seems like she knows her feelings wouldnt matter to him because its probably casual for him to be with another (multiple) woman each night.

AND FOR THAT REASONNN^^^ i think the song suits it smmm 😣😣 it fits so perfectly. ive been nonstop listening to the song before i read it and its the first story that im so interested in to write about my opinion. ANYWAYS BACK TO THE STORY.

so maybe shes okay with just simply being one of his girls because she knows she wouldnt be anything more & also she may not want to stop sleeping with him because thats the only way he can be close to her relationship wise.

which means yn is literally just one of his girls for some of his nights. I LOVE THAT SMSMSM. also everything here is simply my opinion and arguments as to why there should be more angst rather then revenge for atleast now until theres more development in their characters and we’d know more. althought idk how many parts ur willing to give in for this. BUT thats simply my perspective, if u think of the story differently and wanted to choose a different way for them thats cool too

i talk alot im gonna stfu now but i really like ur writing and ur idea for it was really cool. im waiting for the next part, take ur time and i hope everythings well for you. 😁

-soo ??

nooooo you're literally so so sweet. thank you so much for taking the time to send me this message. i love ur review !!

im glad u got to see how i related the song and the story. yeah, yn is a bit...not in the right head space 😭 atp she's already given up on the chance that maybe jk might like her back. ofc she can't help but feel sad bc she fell for him. ure right that she's content with being one of his girls, she'll take whatever jungkook gives her :( she didn't even have to ask jk if he slept w that girl bc she already knows 🤧

on jk finding out abt yn and jimin - jk did ask her if they're friends "like us?" i wonder what he meant 🤔

maybe i can write a short backstory of yn and jk hmmmm

[culminada]

scrolling autistic Tumblr and not relating to anything anymore.

Even though I know I'm autistic. It's all sensory sensitivity, anxiety, inability to be authentic, difficulties unmasking, experiencing ableism, unusual connection to animals (?), "stop saying autistic people have never had sex", etc.

Autistic people ARE more likely to be asexual, and I'm one of them! It feels invalidating when people complain abt other people's headcanons of autistic people never having had sex. I'm autistic and I've never had sex.

I was raised in an accepting home and homeschooled. I have never experienced someone invalidating my autism when I come out. I have never experienced someone not believing me about an autistic symptom. I have always been encouraged to be myself and express myself authentically. I don't struggle with anxiety. I feel like I can express myself authentically with my friends (autistic and neurotypical). I don't avoid social situations with them, in fact I seek them out.

I was a later teenager before I ever had to mask. I speedran 'learning to mask' in 3 years in a hostile environment (hostile meaning cliquish and normal (derogatory)) and now? Honestly it doesn't feel like masking anymore? It can be hard to initiate interaction with someone I don't know and I usually avoid it, but social cues? Just feels like learning another language. But I CAN learn it. It's a complex set of rules to be learned. I used to not be able to recognize people I'd talked to before. Now I can do it fine, no problem. I'm much better with names, too. Interaction with other autistic people feels easier, but it's still interaction.

With my neurotypical friends and family I'm very relaxed and I don't worry about masking unless it's an emotionally-charged situation (and even then, I DO want to show support and I know how, it just feels like translating what I want to communicate into a language that they'll understand and feel. It's an act of love and care for me, not a burden or smth I'm anxious about.) Social interaction doesn't cause me stress like it used to. (And how much of that was the cliquishness of the place I was at?)

And I'm not struggling to fit in a world that wasn't built for me. Neither I nor my family nor my culture expects me to get a job. The last time somebody asked if I was graduated yet or what grade I was in, and I tried to explain the convoluted mess for the umpteenth time, my mom just shrugged and casually declared me graduated. Ig I graduated in some random person's kitchen one Sunday afternoon. I'm not going to college and I don't need a job. I don't have to stress about half the things my autistic peers do.

I don't experience sensory sensitivity, like I've said.

I hyperfocus so hard I DONT notice all the little things; distracting sounds, etc. that even neurotypicals notice.

Sometimes I feel like I have the opposite of all the autistic symptoms.

What ARE my symptoms then?

Inability to start and stop tasks. Special interests. Stimming. Rigid thinking. Missing social cues. Lower empathy. Caffeine doesnt effect me. Hyposensitivity. Greater need of sleep. Distress when things change. Difficulty adjusting my expectations when circumstances change. Missing the bigger picture (esp in social situations). Needing to re-hash every social interaction in my head after the fact.

And those symptoms are mild, too, in the sense that they don't impact my life a whole lot. Maybe I just have kind friends who don't mind the occasional missed social cue or oversharing? Executive dysfunction is the worst symptom (in the sense of negatively impacting my life), and maybe oversleeping compared to neurotypicals. Am I even autistic??

I don't know, AM I masking and don't realize it? Bc I definitely used to have major social trouble.

My friend who is autistic is very sure that I'm autistic, but idk if that's just because I can speak the autistic language easily? I remember before I knew I was autistic and she told me she was, and I mentally switched my script from 'normal people (derogatory)' to 'autistic person (yay, less complex!)'

At the time, I saw it as just another script. An easier one for sure, one I understood (even just from seeing posts online. There's just one rule: be straightforward. And maybe let her info dump sometimes. And be aware of potential sensory difficulties.). It felt more natural; like the way I always communicated at home. like I could stop masking.

But I don't have any scripts at all now. I don't mask. I just interact. I know how my autistic friend interacts. I know how my neurotypical friends interact. And I just DO! The interaction!

What do yall think? Is this masking?? Aaaaahcjskfjskfjd

[joleneghoul]

Hey I followed to see that DC Disability public essay, so I’m new to this blog. It had me wondering what was your journey of discovering DC and it’s characters and what are your favorite comics, stories and characters?

Hi! Welcome and I'm sorry this blog is kinda my "put everything i think of" train of thought blog. But it's also my only blog lol! Thank you for being interested in the Essay. It's not near done as I'm still taking responses but we will get there. Rest is under cut because i accidentally rambled on.

As far as my journey with DC comics I feel like Dc has just been a part of my life forever- I've grown up in this world where caped stories are pop culture and everywhere and when i was growing up like EVERY cartoon about heroes was about the dc ones (brave and the bold, batman the animated series, justice league)

Actually my first memory I can recall is seeing an episode of justice league on the tv and seeing john stewart green lantern.

Though I wouldnt of called myself a fan really back then because my special interests for most of my life started with Sonic and then Transformers. But in my opinion the base of both of those universes and stories is the same as caped comics so it makes sense I eventually got into them fully.

I don't think I've told the story about how I started actually reading the comics but basically I was homeless at 17 and thats when my love for these comics started. I started reading old batman comics because around then I had met my boyfriend whos special interest was batman so that was my way of both distracting myself and bonding with him.

BUT through batman comics I got introduced to Blue Beetle and Booster Gold and I instantly shifted to reading the Blue beetle comics (sorry to booster i didnt read vol 1 until maybe a year later) specifically the 1986 solo about Ted Kord.

Like I mentioned I was homeless at the time and I hadn't even been diagnosed yet with any of my illnesses I had been suffering from for 5+ years at that time. But within those comics there are two very special stories that cemented my love for these comics and its.

1. Ted has an issue where he goes around the streets of Chicago at night because someone is killing homeless people. In other stories i'd read heroes would maybe briefly talk to the homeless if at all. But instead of that Ted the entire comic sits down with people and speaks to them and gets their stories. I remember reading it and feeling "oh, this is a hero who would actually care to sit down on the sidewalk with me. This is special".

2. There is another story in this run where Ted basically defends the life of this kid who ran away from home and has no immune system and sets out a way to help him. Not the best but I was relating to the kid at the time.

I ended up carrying around an issue relating to Ted in my backpack for most of that time just because it was special to me. Anyways its pretty much history from there I ended up getting into Booster Gold and other heroes as I looked further into these stories and learned more about teams and etc. But Ted Kord will always be special to me, especially since he also has a chronic condition.

As my condition progressed this became one of my outlets for expression and it still is. Through reading I found that a lot more of these heroes were disabled than I had previously thought because NOBODY talked about it. I remember at first not knowing Booster had lost an arm because it just wasn't something I saw mentioned (though back then like. Nobody was posting abt him or ted hardly. you'd be surprised it was like they had a lull in popularity for a bit which makes sense they were not in comics) so I kinda have made it so I talk about these things so they are in peoples minds more. At least a bit.

As far as my Favorite comics go I have to say my favorite comic is Justice Leagues Quarterly 10, but you'd probably want to know the JLI roster before reading it if you dont. JLQ has very fun collections of stories. I try to recc blue beetle 1986 to people too just because it's special to me same for booster gold 1986.

Speaking of essays, here is one I wrote about Booster Gold and his relationship with disability.

[marinaiguess]

just finished watching sonic prime so why not share my thoughts on it? before i start rambling, i suggest you go watch it on netflix, it definitely deserves a watch.

now

Technicalities first (if i can call them that). So, judging as a viewer and not as a sophisticated critic who has read cinemtaography books, I’d say the show’s direction overall is pretty good. It’s nothing special but it’s pleasing and keeps you interested. The direction, the angles, the camera changes regarding placement and focus are well coordinated with the writing and each emotion each scene tries to convey. So, really, nothing new (i wasnt expecting a sonic show to make groundbreaking ways of storytelling through cinematography), but I believe it is worth mentioning because it plays a huge role on how one views the show. And there were many moments where I realized that a certain angle made the scene look more tense for example.

Animation! I think we all liked the bouncy styled animation, contrasting the hugely popular disney/pixar styled animation (which is good, dont get me wrong, but the animation tecnhique used in prime fits sonic a lot more imo). Also, the facial expressions are part of what made the show so great and enjoyable and I love how much emphasis they put on them, literally perfect. The details in animation, like the animalistic behaviours of sonic and co. and how they were depicted (ears twitching for example) are all very important and im glad they were implemented. And, I know a lot of us are focused on the facial expressions but we shouldnt forget abt the background as well. There definitely was attention to detail, details that were everywhere and completed the overall image of the show.

Music! the music is good what do you expect me to say like, oh that major g in the pirate scene made the scene look more tense but if it was a minor f it would make it a bit more sad and thus more fitting- no. the music was good. not surprised and props to everyone who worked on the music but i just dont think theres anything to add LOL.

Voice acting! Voice directing-wise? Really REALLY good, i wasnt expecting great performances but i was proved wrong and im happy about that. Now, for the main cast seperately? Devon has done an EXCELLENT job with his lines. His sonic voice is a combination of Roger Craig Smith and Ben Schwartz i believe but it’s also unique and very fitting for sonic, despite me not liking it at first. Brian as Eggman is meh for me, very good voice acting skills but i didnt like it that much. Ashleigh as Tails fit surprisingly well and idk why. Kazumi for rouge was a really good one, bringing rouge back to her sa2/heroes era and not the overly sexy and seducing voice she has in the games (i know its abt voice direction as well but yeah). big is meh, i dont like it. knuckles is pretty good tbh. and now, shadow the hedgehog. yes. ian did an excellent job voicing shadow and i LOVE LOVE LOVE his voice in prime, makes he’d sound like that in the games as well. i’ll stop now or i’ll start fangirling. 

Characters! I like the characters and sonic’s crew. the way the show’s written so far though has made me care about the post-apocalypse characters more than the other shatterverses. like, i like them all, yeah, but i care more about nine and knucks and rebel. maybe that was the point. also,HHHH WHY NOT BLAZE? why not silver? hoping to see them soon but PIRATE WORLD? there was a purple cat and a brown raccoon there but it wasnt blaze and marine. lost opportunity. (and rouge should have been the captain in the pirate one fr fr)

And finally, writing. I’ve seen a lot of opinions these days. Here’s mine. Good characterisation. Yes, it might surprise you but the characterisation is actually good. for every character. including sonic. maybe in a different post i could talk about every character but for now, i wanna talk abt sonic. bouncy, energetic, talkative, honest, lively, adhd coded, cheesy sometimes, reckless, extroverted who wants to work on his own from time to time. this is actually sonic. someone who loves his friends but doesnt listen to them cuz he has no patience. someone who conveys his emotions with actions and puts words aside. someone who likes to lay back once in a while, but not when the whole world is broken to pieces. someone who wants to save everyone, puts everyone above him and his needs. someone who cant stop talking, making witty remarks and jokes despite the given situation cuz he never gives up and is always hopeful and optimistic. frontiers gave us a different view of sonic’s character but it’s a very different situation as well. yet, if you carefully compare the two, you’d see how much things they have in common and how prime! sonic is very well written. 

overall writing is okay. characterisation is very good, interactions between characters are very good but some could have been better(some moments were too short for my liking), easter eggs, there are many and are greatly appreciated, many details, the recap of the prev episodes was really funny and clever but I feel like we were deprived of some great opportunities. like, eggman nega with eggman instead of the chaos council. thats just an example. and im not too salty abt it cuz it’s mainly a kids show and it shows. im glad that its enjoyable for adults like me as well though.

thats all folks. no one asked for this but youre getting it anyway.

[cheetahpaw-reg]

agere thought piece

tldr/ my gf makes me feel so safe and loved that i start to regress when we hang out, but in a way thats really long winded and poorly phrased

think ive talkd abt this before but im in a more adult headspace so i wanna expand lol

whenever i hang with my gf, i feel small because of how comfortable i am. i was reflecting on why this is, and i think that it's a number of things. firstly, i let my guard down around her. i feel safe. i dont really expect her to hit me or yell at me, so even when i subconsciously avoid certain things i have linked with negative interaction, i think my brain trusts her enough that im not tense. this also leads me to mask less and less around her (making me feel even more comfortable). it's exhausting to mask, and sometimes i fear that i dont have a personality outside of what ive curated for others, and she reassures me by just being there that i might be a real person w a personality isolated from the people around me. so i tend to feel really calm and safe around her, which is already peak slipping conditions. then, on top of that, she's nice to me. for NO REASON.

she plays with my hair (which in and of itself makes me feel small) and holds my hand and hugs me and listens to me when i talk. she remembers things i say about my special interests and hyperfixations, she laughs at my jokes. when i cry she doesnt laugh at me, or tell me to shut up. she doesnt invalidate the emotional abuse ive suffered from my parents. she doesnt laugh at me, or make me feel like im going crazy. she doesnt make me feel insolent or stupid or lazy or like im a terrible person. she lets me win in board games and helps me build lego sets and doesnt get mad at me when i feel overwhelmed.

j think i feel small and start to regress around my gf because even though looking at it logically, my gf is just being like a decent human, its so much more leway than i was ever granted as a child. i dont have to perform for her, i dont need to be perfect for her to stjll love me.

earlier in our relationship i didnt really feel this, because i wasnt comfortable. it was grade 10, we were 15, and i thought that we'd break up when she realized that im not as interesting or fun as she thought i was. but, it was around my birthday last year, when i turned 17, that i think for the first time im my life i felt truely loved by someone. and ever since, i think my mask has been completely removed, and a by-product is my regression. i just feel so taken care of that i start to regress.

and j think back on moments where i was with her and definitely teetering on the smaller side (and acted childish) and she was still so nice. i lost a game we were playing and started to pout, we played again and (im pretty sure) she let me win. i was really tired from school amd started to regress and fall asleep, she said i was cute and let me play with her fjngers. i started talking abt the lego movies and telling her the plots while we put together the lego bonsai and she listened and laughed and helped me put together the harder parts and. i just. idk.

on one hand, i feel kinda sad that someone just being nice to me is enough to make me regress involuntarily, but on the other its nice to know that i trust her because i tend to consciously avoid letting people in.

its also scary though because, were graduating high school in june, and we plan to stay together. like, ideally, forever, and im scared that at a certain point, I'll tell her about my regression, and she'll get weirded out and not know how to act around me, or she'll break up with me. its completely in her right, but i really love her and dont want my regression to potentially ruin what we have (if we stay together, i know alot of high school couples break up first year of uni)