AU where Sanji never actually left Germa, and Judge made him a test subject early on, successfully getting rid of his empathy after years of torture.
But like, he has those years of bullying from his brothers first, and his empathy’s gone but his anger’s still there. Also with no Zeff, he fights with his fists and doesn’t treat women Like That. Because Zeff’s the one who instilled in him to never hit a woman (and made it weird but that’s not the point).
He’s out on some mission in the Grand Line when he runs into the Straw Hats and he sees Zoro’s green hair and associates it with Yonji and he just haaaates him on sight.
The fight is super evenly matched and Zoro manages to knock him out eventually but he’s like what’s the guy’s DEAL. Wtf is his problem.
Maybe Law’s with them when it goes down and he recognizes that costume and fanboys…
Oh actually yeah— Law’s with them! And after Zoro knocks him out, Law goes into Creepy Surgeon Mode and is like for the love of god please let me get my fingers in that chest cavity
And everyone else (bar Robin ofc) is like Σ(゚д゚lll)
But Law gets a room going and finds all sort of odd Germa technology literally implanted in him and starts pulling it out and messing with it and suddenly Sanji wakes UP and he’s— he’s scared. And overwhelmed. He’s in real time having to reckon with years of torturing people.
And Law’s like oh the emotional part of this is not in my pay grade this is not my job anymore and dips.
So Sanji’s there in the Sunny’s infirmary like “I’m a monster I need to be put down oh my god” and Luffy shows up like HEY you’re cool as hell join my crew.
Zoro is not a fan of this option and also it turns out neither is Sanji BUT sanji has nowhere to go so he makes a deal to sail with them until the next habitable island. So Zoro watches him like a hawk bc he’s like “you’re definitely faking this and are gonna turn evil and try to kill people again right”
But instead he just keeps finding Sanji being really pathetic and sad and looking longingly at the kitchen (Robin doubles as the cook and her food is damn near inedible but that’s just the life of a pirate innit)
Late one night Zoro comes off watch and he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and he thinks OH he’s going to try to POISON US so he sneaks in after him and confronts him, swords and all. And Sanji, who knows what an awful person he’s been and knows he deserves death, just starts crying and is like “yeah you can kill me just let me cook one thing once I just want to remember what it feels like”
So Zoro lets him cook, and is like yeah I’m killing you after this, and Sanji spends a long time sniffling as he re-familiarizes himself with pots and pans and spices and knives and ends up making something garlic-y and delicious that smells strong enough to wake up the crew, and everyone traipses in enraptured by the smell. So Sanji serves them and Zoro tries it first because if it’s poisoned he’s not letting EVERYONE go down. But it’s not poisoned and it’s really good, and anyway Zoro can’t kill him now in front of everyone.
But three nights later the same thing happens— he sees Sanji sneaking into the kitchen and follows him and Sanji says “I know you should’ve killed me last time but you couldn’t, I get that, but I’m dangerous. So let me cook just one more time and then you can kill me.”
And it doesn’t happen of course. Everyone comes in and everyone eats and Zoro watches Sanji recover a little of himself.
And so it goes. At first every few nights and then every other night, and then every single night.
And whenever Zoro comes in, Sanji says, I know I deserve to die but let me cook just one more thing.
And at some point Zoro stops thinking about killing Sanji. He’s a part of the crew now. He’s proving himself, and anyway Zoro can beat him and hold him down and Law can reverse whatever it is again if needs be.
So it’s just a thing they do. Zoro lightly threatens him and Sanji begs for his life and they move on. It’s routine but it doesn’t actually MEAN anything anymore.
That is, until one really bad night where Sanji doesn’t show up in the kitchen like he always does, and Zoro goes looking and finally finds him deep in the steerage, and Sanji says, “I can’t keep living like this, please just kill me. I can’t keep living knowing I’m going to die the next day.”
And Zoro’s like ???? You’re not gonna die the next day wtf
And Sanji says, please, just get it over with.
Zoro realizes that Sanji has continued all this time assuming Zoro really is coming to kill him every night
But it’s been MONTHS at this point. Surely he wouldn’t still think—
But Sanji’s wracked with more than a decade’s worth of guilt, is so sure he deserves the worst the world possibly has to offer.
Too bad Zoro’s a little in love with him at this point. And says anyone who wants to kill Sanji will have to go through Zoro first.
Which Sanji DOESNT UNDERSTAND and he doesn’t understand the kiss Zoro follows it up with, but he returns it. Greedily.
Because as much as he knows he deserves death, he also relishes every moment of life, every chance to feel the emotions he wasn’t allowed. And Zoro goes from jailer to protector in his mind. Slowly. Hesitantly.
He spends years working through the trauma, decades really, but the simplicity with which Zoro sees the world helps. Zoro doesn’t blame him. Zoro loves him. Sanji doesn’t know much but he knows he’ll defend this ship that saved him with his life.
And he knows Zoro wouldn’t let Sanji defend HIM with his life, because Zoro views his life as precious and important.
Which is something Sanji is still learning.
He’ll get there.
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Guys, Sirius canonically did not care about the prank.
He shows ZERO remorse for what he did, I don’t know why this fandom absolutely adores absolving the marauders of their flaws, but it’s quite annoying. Sirius, canonically, did not care or feel remorse for what he did, he in fact justified what he did, and I love Sirius, he’s one of my favorites but come on, he sucked as a teenager, as did all the marauders.
I’ve also seen a lot, a LOT of people try to make Sirius’ actions come from a place of self defense, or some type of retaliation for something that Snape did but that’s also incorrect. His exact reasoning is(down below)
"It served him right," he sneered. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to... hoping he could get us expelled..." -Sirius in POA
After that Remus remarked that Sirius did it also because he found it amusing, and Sirius did not interject to disagree.
Also, a lot of people forget how important the prank was to James’ character, up until that moment James was to put it bluntly a complete dickhead to Snape, and vice versa sure but James was a dick, however he went out of his way to save him, and sure you could argue he did that for Remus more than Snape, but he still saved Snape. Diminishing the prank to just wolfstar angst is objectively incorrect.
Anyways, I still like “the prank” angst, but really guys, he did NOT care like at all. I also feel like there is so, SO much more angst potential with Sirius’ canonical feelings, rather than the angsty “it was a mistake” route that the majority of this fandom takes.
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