#I expected yearning on the verge of tears

[sirena-de-lunas]

i know the second half will focus on whistledown and colin’s writing but i expected more soft moments. moments where he battles with himself bc that’s penelope - that’s pen - his childhood friend, the girl who lived across the street, his sister’s once best friend, his good friend. moments where he tries to test out if he actually does like her or if he’s simply afraid to lose her companionship. where he has her examine his healing hand to see if her touch still affects him. where he dances with her and for a moment he holds her a little closer and wonders if he imagines her eyes darting to look at his mouth. where he writes and writes and writes bc he’s good with words but she has made a mess of him. moments where he reads Emma and throws it across the room bc what utter nonsense “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more” - if you love someone one must declare it assuredly, reverently, and loudly. moments where he recognizes he’s always looked at her with this gentle fondness, always needed her reassurance and kind words, and the idea she will give them to another hurts. i wanted moments where he finds himself stopping to rationalize his actions until one moment in the middle of an argument it all just spills out of him like a dropped ink well. i wanted her hesitancy and fear and anger and disdain. i wanted her to cut him at his knees as he had done to her knowingly and unknowingly throughout the years. the denial of loving him, the fear that he is brash and impulsive like he was with marina, the self-preservation of running away. i wanted the push and pull of colin not knowing if he should risk losing their friendship if she does not feel the same yet feeling he will lose her either way - either to lord debling or to his own obliviousness. i wanted the moment he realizes he needs her in his life and he does not want to regret letting his final opportunity slip away. the quiet yearning of having no guarantees but so many hopes. the sadness of thinking you realized you found your person just as they rip you out of their heart. the pain of losing someone you didn’t know you had until they left and took your heart with them.

[bamfkeeper]

Just some silly Nightcrawler thoughts~ 18+ minors dni under cut

Warnings: needy Kurt, a bit subby but changes at the end?? a lot of teasing, denial, begging and all that good stuff :) afab reader, i didn't take the time to edit this because it was just a silly thought lol

Wc: 1.4k

Sometimes I imagine how needy Kurt would be for you if you teased him a bunch. Like, teasing him all day around the mansion so his suit felt extra tight in the crotch. He had to sit awkwardly to hide his obvious problem he had and you just smirked at him because you know why he's sitting that way.

He's super whiny and he pokes you, trying to get you to come with him to another space because he needs to get rid of this thing between his legs.

Can you imagine he finally sits down on the bed after practically tearing off his uniform and his cock springs free, that pretty thing. It throbs, he whimpers as his head is puffy and purple, weeping warm, sticky beads.

"Bitte...bitte, do not tease me any further....I cannot handle it." he begs, his accent heavier as he cannot focus on words, but the incoming sensation you are going to give him. His poor lip trembles as you reach for him, your hand wrapping around his length and you gently stroke. However, a simple stroke isn't enough to satisfy the needy teleporter.

"Ah...." he whines in frustration, his head throbbed and leaked down his cock, his cheeks were such a pretty violet as he looked at you desperately. "Bitte..." he whined out again, more strained because he was yearning for your touch so badly. His hips bucked up slightly, trying to silently encourage MORE than what you were giving him.

"Shh, you are so cute like this, Kurt." you tease softly, your voice was so evenly set despite the situation, it made him whine again. His head hit the pillow and he stifled his noises by biting his lip. You could only grin, your index finger pressing the tip of his dick, finding that tiny slit where all those precious, pearlescent beads were leaking out. "I didn't expect you to be this desperate for attention..."

"Nein!" he whined, glaring down at you with a pout, "It is your fault...you have been teasing me all day..." he sat himself up on his elbows, his tail curls slightly as it lazily lays limp on the bed. "I beg you...do not make me suffer any longer." he tried to keep his voice steady, but that little tremble crept in and waved his voice off, letting you know just how much he was feeling.

His dick jumped, his lips parted slightly as he watched your finger make small circles along his puffy head. "Liebe!" his hands tightened around the sheets beside him, his face more flushed than ever now.

"You need to be patient, Kurt...I am taking my time with you. Now be good...lay back and let me play with you." your voice held such a promise, so honeyed and sweet, he couldn't help but listen. His bottom lip trembled as he focused on how tantalizingly slow your finger moves across the soft flesh of his tip.

You leaned down, his pretty cock was too good to resist for long. You placed a kiss on his head, letting your tongue come out and lick over it. The skin was so hot, he was clearly struggling with his needs. You could feel the blood flowing into his cock as you held it, pumping through the veins rapidly as his body demanded.

He had been teased all day, on the verge of tears, the poor thing. You couldn't keep him in this state, especially when he had been doing so well. So you suckled on his tip, letting your tongue swipe up and down along the tiny slit. You tasted his precum, not all that salty or bitter, mild enough for you to lap and lick at him without hesitation.

When you finally took him into your mouth, he couldn't help but let out a soft cry, the satisfaction of finally getting some stimulation after all your teasing was like heaven itself. He moaned and whimpered, shaking slightly on the bed. His tail twitched, the spade ticking back and forth as his chest rose and fell rapidly. He peeked his eyes open, looking down at you taking more of him in your mouth.

Your bobs started slow. You took your time to really suck him, your tongue cradling the underside of his cock and pressing harder as you neared his tip. You let out a soft moan around his dick, he shut his eyes and turned his head away from the delightfully sinful sight. "You are tuning me into a sinner, liebe..."

You pull off him, smiling and licking your lips, "You told me everyone is a sinner," you retorted playfully.

"J-Ja, but...nngh...you are infecting my mind with these...intense desires..." he looks back down at you and his tail had moved behind your head, gently pushing you back towards his dick.

"You act like you were fully innocent before we met." you complied to his gesture, but only for a moment as you took him into your mouth again. "Mmn...you taste delicious." you praise him and he whimpers and squirms even more while your mouth works wonders on him.

Imagine how he might beg, how he would tremble as he approaches his orgasm. Do you give it to him, do you deny him? Watch how his eyes widen and he tries to hold on tighter as he feels your mouth slide off his dick to deny his impending burst, and he cries out with frustration and denial.

"Nein!! Nein, why did you stop!?" he cries and falls back on the bed, his pitiful noises filled the room as did the musk of his arousal, his cock was so swollen...the buildups being denied were making him extra sensitive.

"I want to finish, bitte, don't stop next time..." he whined, his bottom lip pouting out. "Bitte, fräulein...I need to..."

Imagine rubbing yourself on him, your folds gently caressing his dick as you slicken him up further, he watches his tip peek out every little roll you give. He is so incredibly desperate by now, it takes all his strength not to give in and slam you down on him.

You listen to his beautiful noises, his whimpers and whines, his trembling begging as he tries desperately to control himself, but at this point of your relentless teasing he couldn't hold himself back. When you finally sink down on him, you gasp and moan as he stretches you and fills you to the brim.

He wants to drill up, but he stays put.

He wants to plant his feet into the mattress, grab your hips, and let his body take over, but he doesn't.

You began to bounce on him, skillfully bouncing and rolling your hips as he lets out more noises for you. "Ah, aah, liebe, you are...practically milking me, it feels so good..." he mewled, his hands grab your plush hips and he pants, meeting your bounces with the press of his own hips.

Imagine how he absolutely loses it when he gets close, you might slow your bounces but at this point, he can't take another denial. His fur bristles, his teeth bare slightly as he grabs onto you much tighter. "Nein, liebling, not this time..." he says in a quieter voice, he holds your body close, his tail wrapping around you and he does push up into you.

Those needs from before unleash and he begins to thrust upward, your bounces being met with his desperate bucking, grinding his cock deep inside you until it repeatedly kisses your cervix over and over again.

"I will finish...I will get my peak, and you will let me," he buried his nose into your neck, inhaling your scent as he continues to bring you down to meet his thrusts. "Ah, I'm close..." he mumbles, his lips sloppily kissing your neck and leaving hungry nips. You are helpless against his wonderful thrusts, it feels so incredible you can only hold onto him in return as he is driven by the extreme desires you gave him.

He pants and huffs hard against you, you can feel him throbbing and swelling inside as his orgasm rapidly approaches. "Need to...can I...bitte, Ich muss kommen..." he rasps, his movements falter as his hips thrust erratically.

"Come for me, my love, you can." you whisper encouragingly to him and he can't hold it back any longer. He bites down on your neck and he cries into your skin as he drives his cock as deep as possible, releasing hot, thick ropes of cum into your womb. He pulls back and thrusts a few more fast pumps into you as he rides out his orgasm.

You feel so full, he keeps pumping out cum and filling you until it seeps out around him. Imagine how he shudders as it drips down his balls and you continue to bounce on him.

Anyway. My thought turned into a big ramble. Thanks for reading lol.

*BAMF*

dividers by @/adornedwithlight

[chrisevansonly]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞: 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: starting a family was yours and charles’s dream, and welcoming little baby matteo hervé leclerc was the absolute best day of your lives, and the start of a new future as a family of 3

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of pregnancy, hospitals and childbirth & lots n lots of fluff

𝐚/𝐧: well she’s here the first chapter of Little Karter! i’m so excited to write this little series and i really am excited to share the ideas i have with it! i hope you all enjoy it<;3

𝐰𝐜: 1.5k+

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

For as long as you could remember and as long as you had been with Charles, there was never a doubt in either of your minds when it came to having a family. You’d always  wanted kids and so had Charles, so when the day had come that you found out you were expecting, it was a day you would forever remember. Nothing about trying for a baby comes easy, it doesn’t help that still to this day most books and movies fail to highlight that. It took you and Charles almost three years to conceive your now 4-year-old son Matteo, it was a lot of tears, pain and trial and error until that very morning you took the test. 

▸

Time moved slow as you stood in front of Charles, the three tests you had taken in his hands, tears lining your eyes.

“Ne me mens pas..bébé, s’il te plait”

Charles was on the verge of losing it, his eyes glossing over as he start at you with such a yearning and adoration, you had never seen anything like it 

“I promise my love…”

“Holy shit!”

He was quick to pull you into his chest, his arms holding you tight to him, tears hitting your neck as you held onto one another, A moment that would forever cement itself into memory, there was nothing that could top the reaction and love you felt and saw that day. 

“We did it Char”

Pulling back he took your face in his hands, bringing you in for a kiss, a tearful smile on his face when he pulled away 

“We did it baby”

▸

Charles had been nothing short of amazing throughout your pregnancy, from doctors appointments, to late night cravings and sitting at your side as you experienced the worst morning sickness throughout the first trimester. If you needed him he was there, he made that extremely clear to you as well as Ferrari. Letting them know if you needed him he would be there, racing was his passion, but you were his heart, and he would drop anything for you, all you ever needed to do was ask. 

He was adamant about this from day one. 

You couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips as you watched him pick out baby boy’s first outfit, you had gotten to the hospital almost five hours ago, your water breaking, thankfully enough on the summer break so Charles was already at home with you. He was so excited to become a father, you could not wait to see him flourish into his new role.

“Char he won’t know what he’s wearing…”

He turned to smile at you. 

“I know baby but-I just want it to be perfect for him, I want everything to be perfect for you too”

“It already is my love, you’ve done so much for me the past nine months, you’ve taken such great care of me...”

A pause fell over the room, Charles placing a little white onesie with red cars on it down onto the change table across from your bed, moving to sit next to you, his hands grabbing yours gently. 

“I love you, I would do anything for you, and I’ll keep taking care of you, both of you.”

Leaning down he kissed you, rubbing your cheek ever so softly when he notices a stray tear that had begun to roll down your skin. No further words needed to be exchanged, Charles could see it in your eyes just how much you loved and adored him, and right now that was more than enough for him.

Thankfully you managed to get some more rest not long after, Charles keeping his eye on you diligently, he was too excited and anxious to rest, despite his mother being adamant that he gets his sleep now. As soon as a baby comes along it becomes much harder to get your beauty sleep, but you’d never hear a parent complain, especially not Charles, this was what he’d been dreaming for, and he was sure if his father was still around he would be so proud of him. 

It wasn’t until seven pm, that you were dilatated to ten centimetres and could start pushing, it was a pain no one could prepare you for, and a pain that was way worse than you had ever imagined 

“Tout va bein, ma belle…tu es si forte”

“Ça fait mal Char…cant-“

Charles shook his head, moving to be closer as he swiped a cool cloth across your forehead

“I know, I know it does but he’s almost here…just a bit longer baby, I know you can do it”

He looked at you with fierce determination, he could see the exhaustion behind your eyes but you were so close to holding your little boy and it was with the next hard push and agony filled scream that his cries echoed through the room. Charles quick to kiss yours cheeks as he rested his forehead on yours, tears in both of your eyes 

“I’m so proud of you baby, you did it…he’s here”

The doctor was quick to place the crying baby onto your chest as you sniffled, your hands moving to hold onto him, he needed to be cleaned up still but this allowed you and Charles to connect with him right away

“Bonjour mon petit, tu es si parfait, papa t’aime déjà beaucoup” he said quietly, brining a hand up to wipe his eyes

“He’s so perfect Char…”

The nurses then came over and took him gently, allowing Charles to cut his umbilical chord before taking him over to weigh him and check him out, allowing Charles to come back to your side, a look in his eyes that was only reserved for you and your perfect baby boy 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you”

“Oh my love, you don’t need to thank me, I love you so much you never need to thank me for this”

He shook his head

“I do because-because you made me a father… it is all I have ever wanted”

Reaching your hand out to him he took it, kissing the back of it before sitting next to you, allowing you to then lean your head into him, waiting patiently for the nurses to bring your baby back. Of course it didn’t take them very long, wrapping him in a warm blanket and gently placing him into your arms, your eyes taking all of him in.

He was a tiny little baby, but in every way absolutely perfect, he had Charles’s nose and his hair, he was the spitting image of his father, a twin if you must

“Hi my angel…”

Charles watched you interact with your son, smiling as you traced his little cheek with your pinky finger

“You are your daddy’s twin aren’t you? Mhm..”

You couldn’t help but place a series of gentle kisses to his face, just enjoying holding him in your arms, watching as he had begun to move a little

“Char you ready to hold him..?”

A slight look of hesitation flashed across your husbands eyes, he’d been waiting nine months for this moment, so why was he so worried

“My love, you’ll be okay, I promise…you don’t do anything wrong”

“Yeah-um okay yes”

He was meticulously careful and slow in his movements as he lifted the baby from your chest, moving to sit down in the rocking chair next to the bed, he never imagined in a million years he would be holding his little boy in his arms. It was no surprise to you to see his emotions ramp up again as he placed a kiss to his forehead

“Tu es mon plus précieux trésor mon bébé”

“Il est tout à nous mon amour”

Sniffling Charles nodded, the baby sleeping soundly nice and tucked into his arm. You figured he would wake up eventually to eat but for now there was no greater sight than seeing your husband and baby boy cuddled up with one another.

“Welcome to the world little Matteo Hervé Leclerc”

rough english translations:

Ne me mens pas..bébé, s’il te plait - don’t lie to me baby, please

Tout va bein, ma belle…tu es si forte - everything is fine sweetheart (or my beautiful) you are so strong

Ça fait mal - it hurts

Bonjour mon petit, tu es si parfait, papa t’aime déjà beaucoup - hello little one, you are so perfect, daddy loves you so much already

Tu es mon plus précieux trésor mon bébé - you are my most precious gift (treasure) baby

Il est tout à nous mon amour - he is all ours my love

[bettyfrommars]

Ring of Fire

a biker!Steve au

Part 3: The Runaway

Masterlist

18+Only, adult themes, mention of an abusive relationship, mention of cheating (not on reader), mention of violence, alcohol consumption, yearning, reader uses she/they pronouns, it's the late 90's, but also time doesn't really exist in Hawkeye. Platonic Stobin Forever, biker!Hopper, and biker!Eddie. Reader has very specific skills and backstory that verges on OC.

Word Count: 5.4k Playlist

A/N: I was going to call this a very self-indulgent chapter, but they all are, lmao. This is my love letter to biker Steve and my yearning to go to one of Hopper's barbecues with the rest of the gang. There will be a future wlw relationship for Robin with a woman worthy of her love, and we'll see more of Wayne in the next part. Trying to decide if I should give biker Eddie someone too, but for now, we have this. I love those of you who have decided to join me in this world, truly. Also, the playlist is a work in progress, and if you stumble upon a song that makes you think of biker Steve, or this story in general, please let me know!

-----

Groaning as he rolled over in bed to face the green numbers on his digital alarm clock, Steve felt a strange satisfaction at the fact that he hadn't tossed and turned all night.  Thumbing sleep from his eyes, he felt around the nightstand, and cursed under his breath to note that it was barely daybreak, and he was out of smokes. He knew the gas station would be open, and then immediately wondered if you would be there.

He tried to blink the thought away, desperate not to make thinking about you first thing in the morning a habit.  Habits like that were hard for him to break once things inevitably went to shit.

On his back, he stared at the ceiling, recalling bits of a dream that were still floating behind his eyes.  The images of the family he kept having were so vivid, he expected to roll over and hold the woman next to him and call her his wife, but that side of the bed had not been warm in years. He’d never had the urge to marry, and he certainly didn’t have any children.  But when he slept? It was as if he lived a double life. Tears built on his lash line at the memory of one of the young girls holding his leg and calling him daddy, it made him shoot up into a sitting position with a jolt.  

“Shake it off, Harrington,” he mumbled to himself.  

Hissing at a sudden sharp pain in his knee, he made his way to the kitchen in his polka dot boxers, scratching his head with a yawn.  Robin had been staying with him for a few months after her breakup, and it was the happiest he’d been in a while. There used to be dishes piled up in the sink, but now there was nothing but a single Chinese takeout container on the kitchen table and a pot on the stove with Velveeta cheese caked to the insides.  

He’d thought about getting a smaller place or another roommate, but the rent Eddie was charging him was dirt cheap, and he’d surprised himself with how much he liked taking care of the yard and the domesticity of it all.  He only wished he had someone to share it with.

The first thing he did was turn on the tiny 6-inch, countertop television near the toaster so that there could be some noise; the early morning silence was deafening, it made him uneasy.  The only thing showing on all four channels was the news, announcing more rain over the weekend.  One newscaster was talking about a rash of women disappearing around Hawkeye, but the murmuring was low, and he was busy searching around for the sustenance he needed to start his day.   

He used the French press that was already there when he moved in to make coffee, and when he opened the fridge to get the milk, there was your dish of lasagna.  Clear blue Pyrex dish staring him in the face, just one more reminder. 

It made him feel warm for a second, as if you were also in the house somewhere.  Like maybe you’d come around the corner and slip your arms around him from behind.  

He pulled back the tin foil cover to be reminded that there was only a slice left in the corner since he’d been eating it for practically every meal the past three days.  

He hadn’t set eyes on you in just as long, since the protection run with the Kings got pushed back a day and he had to cancel on his plans to pick you up and go for a ride.  

It was all for the best, really.  He wondered if it was too soon to show you what he had in mind.

But he promised he’d return the dish to you, and he needed cigarettes.

Was there a way to ask for your schedule without sounding like a stalker?

Eh, probably not.

The wall phone rang and he scratched his balls through his boxers on his way over to answer it.  He’d shaved down there just to see what it would look like, but the new growth itched like a motherfucker.  Even though it did make his dick look bigger, he’d decided to never get a sharp object so close to his sack ever again.  Unless, maybe, you were into that sort of thing.  

“Yeah? This ‘s Steve.”

It was Robin letting him know that she’d broken up with her live-in girlfriend yet again, and needed him to come and pick her up.

“You never should’ve gone and done that again, I told you,” he ran a rough hand down his face.

“I don’t need that from you right now,” she sniffed, speaking in a strained whisper.  Her voice was raspy, and she hiccupped to hold back a sob.  

This was the second time she’d tried to make things work with the newest one, Nicole or Nikelle or some shit.  They’d decided to move in together a week after they met, and the last few months had been emotional turmoil.  She hated her, she loved her, and then she hated her again.

Steve hoped that this time it stuck so that he could have his roommate back.  He got busy doing the dishes and cleaning up, whistling while he worked. 

“I’ll pull your sheets out of the closet,” he told her. “Be there to pick you up in twenty minutes.”

—---

“Your precious Steve is here,” Nic spat, pushing the curtain back to eye the truck pulling up to the curb.  “I suppose you told him this was all my fault?”

“I haven’t told him anything,” Robin sighed, frowning into her bag, shoving her last few belongings in.  “But I’m not the one who cheated again, am I?”

She swallowed, aching to explode, but not wanting to give her newly appointed ex the satisfaction of another tear or argument.

“Hey,” Nic took hold of her elbow, pinning her with an earnest look.  Her complexion was olive, her thick black hair buzzed short, and the bright green of her irises had a long track record of melting Robin into submission.  “You can’t hold that against me, you know I can’t help it.”

Robin scoffed, jerking out of her grasp .  “You know, I can’t believe I fell for that a second time.”

Steve was halfway up the sidewalk when Robin shuffled out of the door wearing a backpack, and carrying too big duffle bags that had clothes spilling out of the open zippers.  

“Get me out of here, “ she groaned, letting him take one of the bags from her to help.  

He caught Nic’s stare through the kitchen window and she flipped him off.  He mirrored the gesture with a wide, fake grin, hoping he’d never have to see her face again.  

Robin slid the blue Pyrex dish over while she scooted in to throw her stuff behind the seat in the extended cab.

“What’s this?” 

Steve got behind the wheel and gave a curious grunt as if he wasn’t sure.  “That’s, um, you remember when she brought the lasagna.”

Robin’s tired, puffy eyes lit up for a second.  “Interesting. You finally going to ask her out when you give it back?”

“Was thinking about it,” he put it in gear and peeled away, tires spitting gravel and dust.  He pushed the sleeves of his flannel up.  “There’s that party at Hopper’s place tonight.”

Robin sat ridgid, but her shoulders started to relax the further they got down the road. She rolled her eyes. “You’re going to invite her to a biker party as a first date? I’m sure you could do better.  What about that Italian place?”

He agreed with the sentiment, but to be completely honest, he was nervous as shit to be alone with you.  He didn’t get that way with everyone, but his heart fell out his ass with nerves every time he imagined what he’d say when he had you all to himself.  

“I guess it’s not a bad idea,” she shrugged.  “Casual, no pressure.  Better than getting stuck on an awkward, uptight dinner date.”

“I really want to take her to the old Danvers place.”

Robin twisted in her seat to stare at his profile.  “You sure she could handle that?”

“Dunno,” he got on the ramp to the freeway, rolling down his window as he went.  “But I think she’s got secrets too.”

—-----

You stood behind the worn, yellowed countertop at work that morning selling smokes and gatorade and snacks for weary workers and travelers.  A woman brought a batch of fresh sandwiches wrapped in cellophane and chocolate chip cookies every day, and they always sold out fast, so you set a turkey on wheat aside for later.  

Earlier, you’d stood at the sink in your apartment with a razor in your hand, considering shaving all of the hair off of your head.  Once the moment passed, you just stared at the blade for a long while, turning it over in your hand, wondering about its other uses.

A group of teenagers on their high school lunch break came through buying chips and beef jerky and soda to the tune of The Plimsouls singing A Million Miles Away, and while you were busy counting the loose change they paid with, you didn’t look up when the bell over the door chimed.  

You were just closing the register after the last kid when your pyrex slid into view.

He thought about leaving it further down on the counter with a note for you to find later, but then he told himself to not act like a fourteen year old.  Would you like to go on a date with me? Please check yes or no.

He had his wayfarer sunglasses on, showcasing the simplicity of a white Hanes tee, fresh pack of cigarettes rolled up in his sleeve like an old-time greaser, and worn jeans with a hole in one knee. The rolled up sleeve revealed more of the tattoo on his bicep; it looked like traditional Sailor Jerry ink, but you couldn’t tell what.  He worked a piece of pink gum in his mouth, grinding it in his front teeth, but he didn’t say anything, he just moved the dish closer.

“Is this a robbery?” You adjusted your shirt, wondering if you looked okay.  

He cocked an eyebrow high and held it there.  “That’s right, put all the money in the dish and no one will get hurt.”

You gave a soft snort, tucking your chin to stifle a grin.

Pushing his sunglasses up into his hair to show that he had a clear sunburn line on his cheeks, he checked around the room as if it were illegal for the two of you to be talking.  Scratching his chest with the LOVE hand you noticed the motor oil stained in the creases of his knuckles.

“So, um, if you’re free tonight and you get bored or something, there’s a party, at a place out near the lake,” he paused, trying to gauge the blank expression on your face.  “I know the guy, he’s a friend of mine. Hopper, from the other night at the Blue Light.  There will be plenty of booze, he’s got a pool.  Burgers and shit.  Just a few friends but I dunno, it might be fun.”

He closed his eyes for a beat, worried he was talking way too fast.  He cupped his hands on the edge of the counter, exposing the muscles and veins on the underside of his forearms.  “Unless you have plans or something.  Thought I’d invite you cause you’re new in town and all, but if you’re busy, I get it.”

“I’m not busy,” you were quick to respond the second he gave you the chance. After he had to cancel the last time he wanted to take you somewhere, you wondered if he would ever try again.  A grandfatherly gentleman came through the door and you greeted him while he shuffled over to the coffee station.

 “Are you going?”

He made a fist and pounded the side of it lightly on the counter a few times.  “Yeah, I was thinking about stopping by to check it out.  If you want, you know, I could pick you up or something.”

Steve moved aside so that you could take the money for the older customer’s big styrofoam cup of cream and sugar coffee.

You put the quarters in the cash register with a metal clatter as you spoke.  “I think I might take my own car,” your eyes flicked to him and then down again.  “You know, just in case I hate it.”

“No, that's smart. I’lll take my own vehicle too, and then we can, you know, meet there.”

He heard how stupid the words were when they left his mouth, but it was too late.  He took the pack of reds out of his sleeve and squashed it open to pluck out a smoke to put between his lips.  

He didn’t light it, but he kept it pinned there, bobbing as he spoke. “You got a piece of paper?”

He took a pen from the collection at his elbow, and you ripped off a piece of cash register tape so that he could jot down the address to the place.

“It’s real easy.  Once you get to the end of the road, go left, and it will be about a mile down on your right.  Red mailbox, the house is tucked in the trees.” He straightened to look at what he’d written, and then bent down again to keep the pen going.  “This is my number just in case.”

The side of your mouth jerked up in a smile while you watched his profile.  “What time should I be there?”

He rolled the cigarette from one side of his mouth to the other and capped the pen.  “Whenever. Around 6 or 7 if you wanna eat, but I’m sure the party will go on until late.”

“You can bring a friend if you want,” he added, praying you didn’t show up with another dude.

“I don’t have any friends,” you kept your eyes on the paper as you pulled it toward you, chuckling softly.

“That’s not true,” he turned away as he said it.  “You’ve got me.”

—-------

You thought you were lost at one point, winding through the old highway through the cornfields, but the second you found the fork in the road, you knew exactly where you were.  You hated that you’d spent almost two hours throwing clothes around your apartment trying to decide what to wear.

“He’s just some dude,” you mumbled to yourself, fixing your hair in the mirror.  “It’s nothing to get all nervous about.”

You took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “It’s just a lame barbecue, nothing to get worked up about.  He’s a friend from school, that’s all.”

But, was that all?  

You had a blue and green stained glass bird hanging in one of the small windows, right above a trio of succulents in various planters, and you made sure to sprinkle a rare dose of water on them before you left. 

You got all the way down to your car, realized you hated the shoes you had on, and went back up to change them.  Donna eventually came out to ask you where you were going, not that it was any of her business.

“To a friend's house,” is what  you appeased her with, feeling that it would be wrong to ignore your boss, even if she had no right to ask..  

Hopper’s place was a brown and tan double wide surrounded with trees with an above ground pool out back, through the carport.  The grill was back there too, and a bunch of friends downing beers in camp chairs.  He’d gone over to the motel to invite Lorelei, but she was leaving on an out of town date with a regular that night, and a part of him wished he’d never known that.  Now, he’d have to drink away how worried he’d be for her to make it home safe.  

Or maybe he’d stay relatively sober, just in case she called.

He turned from the grill to catch his reflection in the living room window, rubbing a hand over the short beard there under the smoldering cigarette between his lips.  He muttered out loud to himself that he needed to get a fucking haircut soon since it was long enough to tuck behind his ears.  

“Sorry man,” Steve brushed by on his way around the house again.

“Hey Taz,” Hopper called after him, making Steve spin around, the heel of his Converse digging into the grass.  “Why the hell are you so fidgety tonight? Have another beer, sit the fuck down.  I’m gonna shove this burger down your throat in a minute.”

Steve raked a hand through his hair a few times, exhaling a ragged breath.  This was only his third or fourth time going around front to see if he could get a view of your car coming down the road, but for some reason, Hopper was keeping track.  

Steve wondered if it was wrong that he wanted to hug you when you showed up.   

He moved his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing there.  “I told you I got that friend that might be coming. Wanted to make sure she didn’t miss the turn.”

Hopper brought his attention back to the food, letting the ash from his smoke dust the front of his Magnum P.I. tropical shirt as he spoke. “What if she doesn’t show, what then?”

“Won’t matter to me,” Steve shrugged, hooking his thumbs into his belt loops. “I need to get the other cooler out of my truck anyway.”  

He kept on his way before Hopper could say another word.  

An hour, a burger, some potato salad, and several beers later, there was still no sign of you.  A few people bobbed around in the pool as dusk bloomed on the horizon, while the rest settled in a circle around the campfire to the tune of Wild One by Thin Lizzy.

He was staring at the fire, thinking about getting up for a third beer, when he heard the distinct crunch of  tires rolling up to the gravel of the driveway from the main road.

—----

You turned down the radio, taking a few calming breaths.

He’s just a stupid boy…you reminded yourself, pulling in near the red mailbox to park behind two Harley Davidson Fatboys.  Steve’s truck was parked further up the road, away from the house, to give others more room to park, you assumed.  Hopper drove a Bronco, as well as his Harley Softail, and there were two other vehicles you didn’t recognize. 

Several tiki torches lined the way to the back of the home while the sunset blazed tangerine.  You hadn’t even turned the engine off yet when you saw Steve appear at a slow jog, waving as if to assure you that you were at the right place.  

Your heart tripped over itself at the sight of him, and you gave a quick glance to the rearview mirror to check your face. He waited for you to open the door and step one foot out before he asked if you needed a hand.  

“I brought beer,” there was a 12 pack Schlitz on the front seat from the mini mart.  A last minute choice since you’d forgotten to ask if you needed to bring anything. Steve stood holding the door open while you stretched over to grab it.  He saw the way your shirt creeped up to show some skin on your hip, but then she quickly averted his eyes.

“Wasn’t sure you were gonna make it,” he took the case of beer from you as you stood.  “Saved you some food if you’re hungry.”

Shouts and splashes echoed from the pool after it sounded like someone did a belly flop.  Steve had on a nice, button down, grass green shirt with what looked like newer blue jeans.  Had he just bought them that day? You liked the way the shirt was unbuttoned a few so that his messy patch of chest hair was on full display.  That was the most “dressed up” you’d ever seen him.  

“Think you might want to go for a swim?” He carried the case under his arm like it didn’t weigh a thing.

The question flustered you.  “I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”

He smelled really good, not like strong cologne or anything but just clean and spicy and…soft.  Like maybe you could bite into his flesh and honey would come out. 

Most of the 12 or 14 other people at the party there were too tipsy and too busy deep in their own conversation to really care or notice when the two of you came around the corner.  Hopper looked up from his chair across the fire, exhaling smoke from his cigar.  It was a big, circular fire pit made of stone, and you had the feeling he made it himself.  

There was an empty seat you assumed was Steve’s, and next to it was a younger kid with thick sideburns and a PROSPECT insignia on the back of his Coffin King’s leather.  

Still holding the beer, Steve kicked the aluminum legs of the young man’s chair. “Get up.”

The guy snapped his head to see who it was and was quick to stand.  You had your mouth open to protest taking someone else’s seat, but the guy was already off to find another one.

“I’m gonna go put these in the fridge,” Steve said.  “You want beer or–?”

“Got any whiskey?” You could feel Hopper’s eyes on you.

“Coming right up,” he replied, squeezing your shoulder. 

The whiskey tamed your nerves, and he handed you his cigarette for a few drags.  He offered you one of your own, but you declined, citing that you didn’t want to get too comfortable with it.  But really, you just liked sharing his; to hold it in your lips right after him, teasing the tip of your tongue across the filter.  He introduced you to the ones around the fire, all members of the Coffin Kings, and a few of them had partners, or “old ladies” as they were affectionately called.  You listened to the conversations buzzing around, and every once in a while, you’d find yourself chuckling at some story Steve told.  What about the time he tried to steal a riding lawnmower from the hardware store, and four employees chased him through the parking lot?

“I was just a kid,” he leaned over to tell you so that you wouldn’t think it was something he did recently.  “Barely sixteen I think. One of the guys dared me, and I never say no to those for some reason.”

“You never say no to a dare?” 

He shook his head. “Nah, I figure if I’m not hurting anyone else, there’s nothing I won’t try once.”

You pondered that, wondering about the things you wouldn’t do if dared.  

You must’ve shivered, or maybe it was just his intuition, but he motioned to his leather jacket on the backseat of the chair. “You cold? Wanna wear this?”

“No I’m fine, thank you,” but then, “maybe later.”

“What about you,” Hopper said over the tips of the flames, looking in your direction.  “You got a story?”

For the first time all night, they all turned to you, expectantly, and your face began to sweat.

Steve’s hand found your knee. “You don’t have to,” he whispered.  

You thought about the stories you had, and wondered if you should tell the truth or make one up.

“Um,” by then, the others had lost interest. Steve and Hopper were the only ones looking at you. “Well, I ran away from home once and joined the circus.”

Sparks popped in the fire, and Hopper tilted his head to squint curiously.

Steve went along with it.  “Were you a dancer? Those women with the tassels on their—”

He was about to say nipples but stopped himself.

“I had a couple different jobs,” you took another sip.  “I sold cotton candy at one of the kiosks, did tarot readings and fortune telling.  The last job I had was as a magician’s assistant.”

“You serious?” Steve was fascinated.  “You mean you’re, like, psychic or something?”

You rubbed your lips together, thumbing the rim of your beverage.  “Not exactly, I’ve never been sure how it works, but I see things sometimes.”

“How old were you?” The woman with the bleached blonde hair next to you asked.  She wore an American flag bikini top with tattered denim Daisy Dukes.  

“Seventeen.”

Steve had his chin pinned to his shoulder, searching your face with deepening interest.  

“That’s badass,” the Prospect that had once been in your chair said, but he was next to Hopper at that point.  He had a full head of wavy hair, feathered off his face with some type of gel.  come to find out, his name was Dino, as in short for Dinosaur.  “I’ve always wanted to join the circus.”

The rest of them gave low chuckles, and one mumbled, “there’s still time.”

“Why did you run away from home?” Steve whispered it, wondering if maybe you might not want to answer that in front of everyone.

Dino went on to expand on what a good circus barker he’d be while you spoke only to Steve.

“I didn’t really have, you know, the best childhood,” you mumbled. 

“Someone hurt you?” Just the thought made him upset.

You took another sip, and then raised your voice so the group could hear. “We had one of those big red and white tents, like in the movies. The Bearded Lady, Becky, she was one of the nicest people you’d ever meet.  The lions were my favorite.  The big one, his name was August, we’d go for walks together. I made friends with a trapeze artist, but one day she was up there doing a routine on the tightrope and she fell and there was a hole in the net.  She went right through.  Her name was Debbie.”

There was a hush, and then an older biker with a gray beard next to the blonde said, “that’s fucked up.”  

“How long were you with the circus?” Dino asked.

“Only a few months,” you cleared your throat.  “And then I was on the road for a while.”

“By yourself?” Steve’s voice was louder than he’d meant for it to be. 

You gave him a soft smile and a shrug.  “I’m always alone.”

What were the odds of two lonely fucks finding each other again the way you two had?  Steve was grateful for Robin and Eddie, they were his only constants.  

Robin had decided to stay home that night, to unpack some things and get her room situated again.  Steve made sure she bolted the door and told her to use his gun if Nic tried to come around.  

“She won’t,” Robin huffed, dumping the contents of her backpack onto the bed.  “That would imply she actually gave a shit about me.  She’ll have some new married woman from the bar in our bed by tonight, I’m sure of it.”

Back at the firepit, you got to your feet and Steve followed.  “Could you tell me where, um, the bathroom is?”

The bathroom wallpaper was blue and white striped with ducks in bow ties on the trim, something you imagined was there before Hopper moved in.  A mirrored medicine cabinet and a shower without a tub that had one of those frosted, glass front doors.  Besides some mustache/beard trimmings near the sink, it was a tidy place, and smelled of cleaning supplies.  You used the fairly new bar of green soap in the clear dish, and peeked around in the cabinet like any nosey person would.  

Steve was lingering in the carpeted hallway to hand you a fresh beer.  “Didn’t want you to get lost on the way back.”

There were photo collages in frames on the walls of what looked like Hopper’s extended family.  In one, he had his arms hooked over the shoulders of Steve and an older man in their Coffin Kings kuttes.  It might've been a decade old; Steve looked like a baby.

“How long have you and Hopper known each other?”

Steve let out a raspberry sound with his lips.  “Who knows, forever.  He’s been around since we were kids.”

He was just about to reach for the sliding door out to the back patio, when someone else pulled it open.  Shirtless in his boxers, with a yellow beach towel wrapped around his waist, stood the person you knew to be Eddie Munson.  Wet hair long over his shoulders with a handful of tattoos scattered over his torso, he was dripping wet, and in the middle of scowling about something you weren’t privy to.

“Hey man,” the two men bumped fists.  His eyes darted back and forth between the two of you.  “My beeper just went off, need to make a call real quick.”

Steve introduced you, praying to whatever god would listen that whatever Eddie had to do that night did not include needing his help.  

You saw the metaphorical lightbulb of recognition brighten above Eddie’s head.  “Oh shit yeah, I remember you.  You punched Danny Rogers right in the jaw once on the playground. Dude went down hard.”

Steve seemed to beam with pride at that, exposing his gold canine, but you shifted nervously.

“I don’t like violence,” you admitted.  “But he deserved it.”

Danny was one of those boys who liked to try and put his hand up girls shirts and make nasty rumors go around that one of them blew him in the supply closet.  They were only kids, and you didn’t even know what “to blow” someone meant at the time.  

Eddie shook his hair out like a dog. “Hey, I’ll catch you two out there in a minute, okay? Good to see you again, killer.”

It was dark enough that you could only see the shapes of the people in the pool, moonlight reflecting off the water, and felt the unmistakable weight of Steve leaning into you as you went through the door.  He slid it closed once you stepped onto the concrete slab, and then you turned, not realizing how close he was, and accidentally bumping chests with him.  

You didn’t move away, but you kept your head down until Steve put a finger under your chin to lift your gaze.  The porch light was out, allowing you an extra veil of privacy from the party, and you snaked a hand up over his ribs.

“Are you gonna run away this time?” He mumbled, staring at your mouth, his lashes fluttering.

He didn't know about your dream but somehow, he did.

“I thought we were going together?”

He wondered if you could feel him shaking. 

“I’m ready,” his mouth came down close enough to exchange oxygen with you.  You shifted closer, pulling him in.

But then he abruptly cleared his throat and turned his head.

“Not like this,” he rumbled, glancing at the rest of the party.  

“Not like what?”  You sought his hand and intertwined your fingers. 

He didn’t want to say out loud what he meant, that he wanted it to be special.  

He was revealing himself to you, these things he’d been taught to hide, the ways he daydreamed about how well he could love you, if only you’d let him.  If he could write for shit, he’d be one of those insufferable assholes scribbling out poetry in your honor.

He wasn’t like this with every woman he dated.

There was a special chemistry, something more spiritual than primal, that had only been activated in him a couple of times.  The last one was a while back and she took all of his trust; he was sure he’d never lean into that feeling ever again.  

Were the two of you dating? Is that what this was? Maybe the connection was all in his head and you were just going along for lack of things to do.

No, that wasn’t true.  He could tell you wanted that kiss.

He should’ve taken the chance…

Shit

But then you held his hand all the way back to the firepit, and that was something.  

----

Thank you for reading, I love you. Biker Steve will be back soon.

[deprivedreality]

𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 neteyam

Neteyam's lips, they're so soft. You thought to yourself, your thumb softly caressing his supple purple lips. They were so girly if you compare it to the rest of his face that looked masculine, they looked kissable in your eyes. You pondered for a bit while being lost in his angelic face, thinking of just how pleasant it must be if you were to kiss him for eternity.

And as he slept pleasantly with his head resting on your thighs, of course it was essential for you to be lost in a trance while you stare at the boy's face. You chuckled at the thought of Neteyam waking up only to see you by his side, and it made you feel special.

Factually, everything about Neteyam made you feel special. Just like now, how precious it was for him to look for you amidst the time when you were tending for the injured warriors of the clan. He knew that you were busy just as much as him— who is a warrior. Yet he waited for you to finish, and immediately pulled you into his arms, finding himself yearning for your presence even in his sleep or in the verge of slumber.

He hugged you a long-looonngg time that you could've sworn he spent a quarter of his life hugging you ever since being mated with you. It was a habit of his that just made the two of you grow closer, and he was dependent on you half of the time in seeking comfort and love— the love that makes him want to continue, the kind that makes him feel deserving.

You love him so much. He was your home.

"Oh, my pretty boy... How did Eywa create such perfection?" You sighed with a gentle smile on you face as you smoothen his skin with your hand, as if putting some kind of cream on a baby. You couldn't help it, seriously. His face just looked so magnificent, and smooth, and soft, and just so lovable. The only thing you did was caress his face was your love and care the whole time he slept.

Again, the idea crossed your mind. You've kissed him before, but it was only a handful of times that you two kissed. You chuckled. After all, you two were bonded together, and you might as well take advantage of that.

"I see you, Neteyam." Important words of affirmation left your mouth as your looked at his face being so at peace. Your eyes filled love. You caressed his lips one last time and you bowed your head as you let your lips touch Neteyam's, kissing him.

A tear dropped from your eye, as you feel his cold lips on yours. Kissing them gently with so much love— yet the grief was taking over you that you felt like you were about to melt just by the sensation of Neteyam's cold lips on yours.

You held his cheeks, the loss of warmth just further reminding you that you've lost the only thing that you held so dearly. Yet you kissed him, reminding yourself also that it will be the last. You lips trembled when you pulled away, tears surging down your eyes and gliding down your cheeks.

There he was, as always, resting on you lap. Only, this time he was cold. His body arms wrapped in a soft textile. His legs clasped together, and his face painted with white fluid.

The memories of the times you kissed him in his sleep, a smile would always appear on his face. But this time, there was none. Neteyam was at peace, he was no longer here.

"Ma' Neteyam..." His name left your mouth, as if expecting him to answer, grasping his cold hands in yours. But the silence was far too loud, and you bursted into tears as you lay crippled besides him. Neteyam, your light. Your happiness. Your home. All of them are gone.

He will never come back.

You couldn't bare to take in that your mate departed the world, which led you to not leaving his side. You were with him when he died on a rock in the middle of the sea. Up until he was bought back to the shore, where everyone in Awa'atlu saw you hugging a corpse with empty eyes.

The most painful of all was the fact that you have to live up the day when you had to prepare him for his own funeral.

Everyone outside the marui was silent, only your cries of agony was heard. The realization of having to spend your whole life in patience until you see him again made your agony harder to bottle. You cried for Eywa, begging him to bring your life and love back. Yet a silent body laying on you lap was what welcomed you to a new life of pain and suffering.

ᓚᘏᗢ @deprivedreality 2023 | do not copy my works!

[bbobpul]

being with you doesn't feel like drowning — lmk

PAIRING. bff!mark lee x bff!reader SUMMARY. reader tries to confess to mark in hopes that their feeling will disappear once they let it out of their chest. GENRE. angst, unrequited love, best friends to strangers, reunion W/C. 3.4k NOTE. i love boygenius so it's mandatory to listen to cool about it while reading FOR THE FEELS (0.0)!→ my other works

certain people from our youth leave an indelible mark on us, whether they are senior role models, acquaintances who brighten our days, or individuals who meant so much but eventually drifted apart. their presence, guidance, and impact shape our experiences and stay with us long after we part ways, reminding us of the significance of human connections and the lasting effects they have on our lives.

surely one of the saddest experiences but the best stories to tell.

mark lee is undoubtedly an incredibly lovable person. many people who know him would agree wholeheartedly. he embodies kindness and provides a comforting presence that draws people towards him. mark is like a ray of sunshine, approachable and warm.

in my personal experience, he has been a significant source of support during my college journey. his friendly demeanor attracts people, and many individuals wish to befriend him. some are too shy to approach him directly, so they often approach me as a way to connect with him, like a bridge to his vibrant social circle.

when i first entered high school, i had certain expectations of what mark lee might be like based on stereotypical characters from tv shows—cocky and popular. however, i quickly discovered that mark was different. despite any changes that high school brought, he remained the same kid i had grown up with.

i vividly remember the times when he would run to me for support when kids from our neighborhood were being mean to him. he trusted me enough to confide in me when his first crush rejected him, not knowing that i was also on the verge of tears myself. mark lee is someone who is so easy to love, and that's what makes him incredibly difficult to forget.

his genuine and vulnerable nature, his loyalty and trust in our friendship, have left a lasting impression on me. mark's authenticity and ability to connect on a deeper level are what set him apart. despite the ups and downs, he remains a constant presence in my life, a person i hold dear in my heart.

i consider myself incredibly fortunate to have been noticed by mark in a way that felt truly special, surpassing the attention he gave to others he met during high school. it was a privilege that should have brought me immense gratitude, yet i couldn't help but harbor a conflicting desire for something more. in my heart, i battled with feelings of self-doubt and yearning, torn between appreciating the unique connection we shared and longing for a deeper bond that seemed just out of reach.

sitting on the benches near the school gates with my friend donghyuck, i couldn't contain the overwhelming emotions within me any longer. "i really love him, hyuck. so much," i confessed, my voice filled with a mixture of vulnerability and excitement. it was a quiet moment between the two of us, as we had been dismissed early from school due to our lazy professor. as we waited for mark, who had some errands to run, i seized the opportunity to confide in donghyuck, trusting him with my deepest feelings and hoping for some guidance or understanding in return.

his response took me aback. "that sucks, man," he said, his words carrying a sense of sympathy. i stared at him in disbelief, hoping for some encouragement or guidance, but his straightforward suggestion caught me off guard. "just tell him," he continued, his voice laced with conviction. "it probably will disappear once you get your feelings off your chest."

"it won't. i know it won't work," i replied, my voice tinged with a sense of resignation. i recalled my previous attempts to convey my feelings to mark, even if it was in a lighthearted manner, and the lingering affection that persisted throughout the years. graduation was approaching, yet this feeling had taken root long before i even set foot in the halls of our school.

as the weight of my unrequited feelings continued to burden me, i added another layer of complexity to the situation. "i also can't tell him right now," i confessed, a hint of frustration evident in my voice. "he's apparently involved with this girl from stem."

"did he tell you that?" he asked, his voice filled with skepticism.

"no," i replied, realizing that i had simply heard it through the grapevine without any confirmation from mark himself.

"then it's not true," hyuck asserted, his words resonating with a sense of certainty. i looked at him, a glimmer of hope flickering within me.

"you are his best friend, y/n," he continued, his voice gentle yet matter-of-fact. "if he likes someone, you'll be the first one he'll talk to. sadly." his words struck a chord, emphasizing the closeness of my friendship with mark and the trust we shared.

hyuck's words resonated deeply within me, stirring a newfound determination. "try, y/n," he urged, his voice filled with encouragement.

and try, i would. i made up my mind to release the weight of my unspoken emotions, regardless of whether or not mark would reciprocate my feelings. it was no longer about seeking validation or hoping for a specific outcome. instead, it was about freeing myself from the burden of unexpressed affection, allowing my heart to find solace in the act of honesty. i realized that true liberation lay in the courage to let my emotions be known, even if it meant accepting the possibility of unrequited love.

as fate would have it, just as i resolved to confront my feelings and open myself up to vulnerability, the universe seemed to conspire in its own mischievous way. "y/n," a familiar voice called out, capturing my attention. there he was, mark lee, waving at me with an infectious smile adorning his face.

my heart skipped a beat as a mixture of excitement and nervousness coursed through me. it was as if the universe was testing my newfound resolve, presenting me with an opportunity to seize the moment. with a deep breath, i mustered the courage to meet his gaze, ready to embark on a journey that would reveal the truth of my emotions and pave the way for whatever lay ahead.

"hey, man," mark greeted donghyuck with a warm smile before his attention shifted towards me. his eyes locked with mine, and he uttered those words that sent a surge of anticipation through me, "let's go home?"

his invitation caught me off guard, my heart fluttering at the thought of spending more time with him. it's not like this is the first time we are walking home together. without hesitation, i nodded, my own smile mirroring his. "sure, let's go," i replied, unable to conceal the excitement bubbling within me.

as we bid farewell to donghyuck at the school gates, mark and i ventured further into the outside world. the sun gently kissed our faces as we strolled side by side, our footsteps creating a harmonious rhythm. in that moment, mark's words washed over me, his voice filled with a warmth and sincerity that melted my heart.

"let's just walk, hmm?" he suggested, his eyes twinkling with a hint of playfulness. "i didn't see you much today, so i want to spend more time with you." it was a simple request, but it held profound meaning for me. this was the side of mark that had always made me swoon—the one who sought my company, who cherished our moments together. the tenderness in his words enveloped me, igniting a sense of belonging and significance.

as we walked side by side, heading towards home, i couldn't help but wonder if this would be the moment to gather my courage and express what had been weighing on my heart. it was a chance to lay bare my feelings and discover where our paths might converge. with each step, the anticipation grew, filling the air with a mix of hope, apprehension, and the promise of a newfound chapter in our intertwined lives.

as if synchronized by an invisible thread connecting our hearts, the words escaped our lips simultaneously, "i want to tell you something." a moment of lighthearted surprise passed between us before a shared smile graced our faces.

with a gentle nod, i urged mark to speak first, my curiosity piqued and a warmth of anticipation spreading within me. i wanted to hear what he had to say, to immerse myself in his world of thoughts and emotions.

"hmm, i'm sure you already heard about the rumors," my heart sank as mark began to speak, his words hit me like a wave of disconnection, momentarily distancing us. despite my own hopes, i forced myself to listen, desperately clinging to the possibility that he would deny it.

"and before you scold me, i'm sorry, okay?" he interjected, a touch of remorse coloring his words. "i'm sorry for not telling you first. it's just that you've been so busy with your debate stuff. but yes, the rumors are true." his words were filled with a sense of happiness, but inside, i felt a pang of sadness. i wanted to push my own feelings aside, to let him speak and find solace in his words, even if it meant disregarding my own desires and wishes.

in the brief silence that followed mark's confession, my mind raced to process the reality of his words. one, two, three seconds passed as i grappled with a mix of emotions. however, before i could fully retreat into my thoughts, mark's voice broke through the haze, calling my name and snapping me back to reality.

"that's cool, mark," i managed to say, mustering a tone of enthusiasm, despite the conflicting emotions swirling within me. his smile widened, and for a fleeting moment, i allowed myself to believe that i had successfully masked my true feelings. in that instant, his happiness became my focus, setting aside my own desires to ensure his joy remained undisturbed.

"what was it that you wanted to say?" mark inquired, his curiosity urging me to share my thoughts.

"ah," i stammered, desperately searching for words to divert the conversation. "you know, i just wanted to mention that my debate commitments have been overwhelming lately, and i feel like i need some rest." i fabricated an explanation, my mind struggling to conjure up plausible details. but as the words left my lips, my thoughts turned into a blank canvas, drained of any creative energy. mark continued speaking, presumably attempting to uplift my spirits, but his words became distant and muffled as my focus waned.

lost in my own internal turmoil, i unknowingly made my way inside my house, the outside world fading into the background. the weight of my unspoken truth settled heavily upon my shoulders, leaving me to contemplate the consequences of my silence and the disconnection i felt in that moment.

the vibration of my phone jolted me back to reality. retrieving it from my pocket, i discovered a message from mark. the words on the screen were like a lifeline, a gentle reminder of his unwavering support.

from mark

you will do great, i just know. there's nothing you can't do, y/n.

lying on my bed, i attempted to convince myself that everything was okay, that i could handle this situation with composure. it was just a simple crush, i reassured myself, something that could be dismissed and forgotten. i resolved to force myself to let go, to erase the thoughts of him from my mind.

deep down, i yearned for him to kindly leave my thoughts, to release his hold on my heart. with these conflicting emotions swirling within me, i drifted off to sleep that night, whispering to myself that one day, perhaps, i would forget about it, though uncertain if that day would ever truly arrive.

as ten years elapsed, bringing us to the present, the time had come for our high school reunion, an event i had initially considered skipping. donghyuck, however, was relentless in his insistence that i attend. inwardly, i grappled with my own reservations, questioning the root of my hesitation. after all, they were just old friends, right? well, except for mark. but it had been a decade since we last saw each other, and i reminded myself that everything had changed. including my feelings.

with a deep breath, i resolved to face the reunion head-on. it was an opportunity to reconnect with familiar faces and witness the transformations that time had wrought upon us all. i steeled myself, ready to navigate the evening with a newfound sense of confidence, curious to see how the passage of years had molded us into the individuals we had become. and in the back of my mind, a flicker of anticipation remained, wondering what the encounter with mark, the person who once held my heart, would bring.

as i arrived at the reunion, i was greeted by the familiar voice of donghyuck. a smile crossed my lips as i took in his playful remark. "y/n!" he exclaimed, his playful tone resonating in the air. "wow, you smell successful." it was a lighthearted comment, one that instantly brought back a flood of memories and reminded me of the bond we shared. i couldn't deny that i missed him, our friendship, and the easy banter we once had.

donghyuck then reminded me of the gathering, informing me that everyone was already seated and eagerly awaiting our arrival. it was a gentle nudge to set aside any remaining hesitations and fully embrace the moment. with a renewed sense of excitement, i followed donghyuck, ready to reunite with old friends and embark on a journey of reminiscence and rediscovery.

amidst the flurry of greetings from both familiar and unfamiliar faces, a part of me remained focused on one person. as i exchanged pleasantries and engaged in small talk, my heart quietly longed for the presence of that one individual. amongst the laughter and conversations that filled the room, i found myself eagerly awaiting the moment when our paths would cross once again.

time seemed to stretch as i scanned the room, searching for that familiar face that held so much significance in my life. each passing moment heightened the anticipation, the longing growing stronger with every passing second. it was as if the reunion revolved around the hope of reconnecting with this particular person, and i couldn't deny the depth of emotion that coursed through me.

in the midst of the gathering, surrounded by old memories and new conversations, i patiently held onto the belief that this encounter held the potential to reignite a flame that had flickered in my heart for years.

"hey, y/n." the sound of my name, uttered in a familiar voice, sent a shiver down my spine. i turned around, my heart racing, and there he was—the man i had loved for years and spent a decade trying to forget. as my gaze met his, i couldn't help but notice the changes that time had wrought upon him. he exuded a sense of maturity, yet his smile remained as captivating as ever, instantly evoking memories of our shared youth.

in that moment, a flood of emotions washed over me, overwhelming yet undeniably familiar. it was as if time stood still, and the weight of our past connection resurfaced with an undeniable intensity. the years apart seemed to fade away as we stood face to face, and i found myself drawn back to a time when his presence had filled my world with warmth and excitement.

as we locked eyes, an unspoken language passed between us, encapsulating a history of shared experiences and unspoken feelings. the passage of time had only deepened the significance of our connection, and in that instant, i couldn't help but wonder if the lingering embers of our past love had the potential to reignite into something more.

"it's nice to see you again," he said, his words carrying a hint of longing, as if he had missed me deeply. the sincerity in his voice echoed through my being, reigniting the familiarity of our connection.

"wanna catch up outside?" he asked, his eyes flickering towards the serene seaside just beyond the venue, as if beckoning us to a place where we could find solace in each other's company.

a surge of anticipation swept over me, my heart yearning for a chance to reconnect and unravel the mysteries of the past decade. "mark, it's so nice to see you here," i replied, a genuine smile playing on my lips. "sure, let's go."

with each step we took towards the peaceful seaside, it felt as if we were embarking on a journey to rediscover the unspoken words and unfulfilled promises of our youth. the possibilities lay open before us, as the waves whispered tales of past memories and the sea breeze carried the promise of a shared future.

"you suddenly disappeared after we graduated, why is that?" he asked

"i'm sorry, mark. something personal came up that we had to move." i answered and then silence engulfed us.

"how have you been?" i asked, my voice filled with genuine curiosity and a touch of apprehension. his response held the power to shape the course of our conversation, and i braced myself for the unexpected.

a faint smile graced his lips, revealing a glimmer of excitement and anticipation. it was a smile reminiscent of a child eager to share a significant achievement with their parents—a smile that hinted at something significant he wanted to convey. i couldn't help but notice the contrast between his current demeanor and the person i was ten years ago. back then, i would have approached this moment with unguarded optimism, but the passage of time had taught me to temper my expectations, shielding myself from potential hurt.

deep down, i acknowledged that there was a part of me prepared for disappointment, a defense mechanism against the potential pain that might follow. however, despite the self-imposed caution, i couldn't deny the flicker of hope that ignited within me, yearning for a connection that transcended the confines of time.

"i'm getting married in december," he said, his words cutting through the air with a bittersweet tone. his smile remained, but it was now tinged with a mixture of joy and sadness. "i'm so glad to see you today, y/n. you could be a part of my big day."

those words hit me like a wave, crashing against the fragile walls i had built to protect myself. the shards of my shattered heart from ten years ago seemed to reassemble, piercing me once more. the pain i thought i had long left behind resurfaced with an intensity i never anticipated.

the conflicting emotions within me waged a silent battle. on one hand, i wanted to be genuinely happy for him, to embrace the joy of his upcoming union. but on the other, a deep ache echoed within my soul, a longing for a different outcome, for a future where our paths intertwined.

as i absorbed the weight of his announcement, i mustered a smile, my voice trembling slightly. "congratulations, mark. i'm truly honored that you would consider me to be a part of your special day." behind my polite words, i hid the remnants of a broken heart, the realization that the pain of unrequited love had found its way back to me once again.

"and it's really nice to see how good you're doing. how far you've come. i am so proud of you, mark."

a heavy sigh escaped my lips as i grappled with the weight of my emotions. in that moment, i yearned to be selfish, to put my own desires and feelings first. but deep down, i knew the truth—i never had any rights to claim. i had been living in the shadows of unrequited love, forever playing the role of the understanding friend, while my heart silently yearned for something more.

method acting had become my expertise, allowing me to wear a mask of indifference, concealing the turmoil that raged within me. i mastered the art of pretending, adept at hiding the fact that being in his presence felt like a constant struggle to keep my head above water. i told him it was nice to see how well he was doing, but beneath the surface, the truth lingered, like an unspoken ache.

in the depths of my soul, i acknowledged the bitterness that threatened to consume me. it was a bitter truth that whispered in the recesses of my mind—i still loved him, and witnessing his happiness with someone else was a constant reminder of what i could never have. but i couldn't allow those feelings to tarnish the moments we shared, so i continued to play the role of the supportive friend, my true emotions concealed beneath the facade.

[enderpearlll]

Damn but what if.. Yan! Kevin AND Steber😳??

Poly Yanderes!Kevin and Streber Headcanons.

A few people requested for yandere headcanons for these two, so here you go. I’m sorry for the lack of posts, I’m trying to keep up with asks and school at the same time oops.

Gender-Neutral reader.

• It doesn't matter how you three met, Kevin and Streber have adored you since the beginning. Despite being in a loving relationship for a long while now, you've managed to worm your way into their hearts. They'd do anything for you. And once you've got these two hooked, there's no getting rid of them. Ever.

• Streber was the first to fall, realizing that you were more than a friend when you listened to his ramble on and on with a huge smile on your face. You were always so attentive, and oh so thoughtful... He found himself blushing and shaking his hands when he thought about you, just like he did with his boyfriend. Wait... Oh no. What was he going to tell Kevin? Streber felt horrible, you both just met for crying out loud!

• But he couldn't help but indulge in the way you made him swoon, writing you poems and yearning to hold you in his arms. Dear god, the thought of you as his own made his heart swell with joy. But guilt writhed deep within him whenever he spoke to you, taking in your word like gospel. You were a true guilty pleasure for him.

• Kevin, on the other hand, took a while longer to realize his feelings for you. You regularly visited him at his job, paying him a visit everyday. He had to admit, he admired your dedication and commitment to come and see him everyday, no matter the conditions.

• One day, you had missed a visit (which was Kevin's highlight of the day), and Kevin was distraught. You usually came at the same time everyday. He kept checking the clock, nervously pacing and fidgeting with his uniform. You had to come today, you just had to. Kevin never got this worried unless it was about his boyfriend... Oh. Oh shit.

• They usually communicate fairly well, but when they met you, it was a struggle to speak to one another about the developing obsession— Crush. They mean crush. They both collectively realize that they both had a crush on you one night, when they both lied in bed awkwardly. Streber had broken the silence, a quiet sniffle coming from him. "...Kevin? I have something to tell you..."

• Kevin brushed his hand through his messy hair, stress evident in his eyes. "Me too." They both looked at each other, before breaking out into a soft fit of giggles. "You go first." Kevin said, watching as Streber shook his head. "No, you." They both sighed deeply, glancing away from each other. "Together?" "Together." The two of them uttered quietly.

• "I like Y/n!" They both said simultaneously, and then stared in shock at each other. "... Really? I've been worried for nothing, then!" Kevin shouted, relieved as he smiled at Streber, who was on the verge of tears. "Me too. God, I'm so glad you like them too!" They slowly erupted into laughter, holding onto each other and smothering each other in kisses. They spent the whole night raving on and on about you, gushing with excitement as they both talked about a relationship with you.

• These two feed into each other's obsession like crazy. They think it's true love, that they've found their missing piece. Kevin is constantly worrying about your well-being, which is only fuelled by Streber's anxieties about someone taking you away from them. Streber finds that he doesn't like anyone else but him and Kevin being your friends, which Kevin vehemently backs up. You should only have them around. It's for your own safety!

• You, on the other hand, were torn between the two. You had no idea either of them were in a relationship with each other, so when they suddenly told you one day you were shocked. How did you not see it sooner?! But you felt guilty as much as you did surprised, feeling horrible for having childish crushes on two men that were in a happy relationship. What you didn't expect was the sudden overflow of affection from the two.

• While they both were openly smitten with you, you noticed an influx of attention coming from both. Streber was more handsy, hugging you and swinging you around in his arms. He constantly barraged you with compliments, and would watch you do everything with pure investment. You were freaked out, since he was dating Kevin. You didn't want to be a home wrecker or anything.

• Kevin was an easy target to fluster and bother, but literally touching him or looking at him in the eyes got him redder than a cherry. You just grazed his arm and he's stuttering and shaking like a leaf! He'll ask you millions of questions about yourself, soaking up your words like a sponge. This goes on for a month.

• You're starting to feel buried underneath the amount of guilt you were feeling, so you asked them to spill everything. They both had sat you down in their shared apartment, both uncharacteristically giddy and quiet as you told them everything that you've been thinking. Neither of them flinched when you said how much they've been flirting with you, instead asking you a question you'd never thought you'd hear from the couple. "Would you want to date us?"

• You were in awe. You liked them both as equally as the other, and found them wonderful to be around. So after sitting there stunned, you finally said yes. Maybe you were making a mistake, seeing as you've only known them for a few months, but you were so flattered you couldn't say no. It was a dream come true!

• Which it was, for awhile. You noticed that they quickly warmed up to you, often inviting you over to hangout. You quickly realized that they preferred to keep you inside, and strayed away from the mere thought of an outdoor date. It's not like you minded, though. You had your boys all to yourself and you loved it, nothing wrong with that.

• Well, after a literal month of dating, they already wanted to take it to the next level and have you move in. You declined their eager request, believing that it was way too early to be moving in. Even though you were rarely at your own house anymore due to them constantly wanting you around. They both were obviously dissatisfied with your answer, spending weeks trying to convince you to move in with them. Kevin's excuse was that they could take much more care of you, and that you wouldn't have to leave them. Streber's was constant whining and begging, along with the help of some crocodile tears.

• Inevitably, you caved into their pleas, watching as they smiled wider than they ever had before. You were shocked at how quickly they moved you in, even buying a bigger bed so you could sleep with them. Streber struggles to sleep at night, but with you and Kevin on either side of him, he sleeps like a log. You try to wake up and go to work some mornings, but they simply just trap you in their embrace and tiredly beg for you to stay home again, even though this was the sixth time you've done so that month.

• Kevin and Streber don't want you going to work, seeing as their jobs can keep food on the table just fine. You deny their pleas for you to quit, instead sneaking out to work when they aren't paying attention. But some rumours at work had started to spread like wildfire when you did so for the third time that week, most of which were embarrassing and humiliating. How did they know about that stuff? You only told your family and boyfriends about that stuff... You were forced to quit after the rumours had gotten too big for you to handle.

• You see, Streber can easily dig up any old information or embarrassing memories with the power of the internet. When you first met, he spent an entire night just searching for any bit of info on your life and interests. He liked to load up on facts about you, it made him happy. It's scary what he can do sometimes. Like how did he find your old Fanfiction.Net account. You haven't used that in years.

• Kevin loves to get you gifts and little trinkets for you, paying close attention to all of your interests and hobbies. A lot of which he learned from Streber, who dumps info about you on him like a water fall. It's terrifying, really. Like how did he know you've wanted his album for years, you haven't talked about it in months... And even before then, you didn't even know them at all.

• Of course, one can't constantly ignore or avoid the gigantic red flag at full mast behind Kevin and Streber. They may seem loving and caring on the outside, but you take notice of their odd overprotective tendencies. You can't go outside without one of them, you couldn't go to work when you had a job, and you can't even mention your friends without them getting jealous! But you're wearing rose-red glasses, so the gigantic red flag is just a flag.

• Don't even get started on the control and management they have over you. They control who you talk to, when you leave the house, when you can do anything hazardous... It was odd, but they were pushy and kept telling you than it was for your own good. Of course you listened to them, they were your partners and they were just concerned. But your friends were awfully worried with how fast your relationship was moving, and the lack of any interaction with them.

• They isolate and divide you from your friends, telling you that they didn’t like them or thought that they were safe to be around. Of course you’re confused, you’ve known most of your friends for years. Kevin is persistent and along with Streber’s guilt tripping, you inevitably cave in and slowly cut off all contact.

• As a result you feel more and more isolated, going to your boyfriends for comfort which they’re more than happy to provide. You begin to grow resentful against your former peers, fuelled by Kevin and Streber’s insecurities and fears. They slowly begin to go behind your back and threaten your friends, only pushing them away further. This only enraptures you in their web even more.

• Of course Kevin and Streber feel bad, they hate seeing you so downtrodden. But with a little more time and a lot of affection, pretty soon you’ll realize that they love you more than anything. Everything they do is to benefit you, and they firmly believe what they’re doing is right.

[sweetaliencheeks]

THE ONE AFTER THE NIGHTMARE

“What the f-” my whole soul left my body as the door to my quarters opened wide. It was late at night and I was sitting at my desk, music playing softly in my earphones and my fingers messing around with some paint. I was set for yet another sleepless night, as it had been the case for a few weeks now. It had been the case ever since we had almost lost Rocket. The idea of him being gone was still fresh in my head and my whole heart ached with the possibility of me not being around if something were to happen to him again. Every time I closed my eyes all I could think of was What if Peter hadn’t been there on time? What if I were here, would I have been able to help? To stop things? To save him? Those thoughts kept me up along with the alternate time line where he didn’t make it back to me. Where I came home to Knowhere and my home wasn’t there. Where he would have been gone forever and it would have just been me with my helpless thoughts and corrosive regret “Oh, it’s you…” I set a hand over my chest, like it would help my heartbeat back to normal. A smile took over my features as I laid eyes on him and my whole body relaxed. He looked as he always had, kind of scruffy, kind of out of place, his fur matted on one side of his face and spiked in every direction on the other. At least he had gotten some sleep. He slept better now, he felt better, and that was the best thing I could ever take from the whole situation. He didn’t say anything as I rose my eyebrows, waiting for him to say something or to tell me why he had just barged into my personal space in the middle of the night. His eyes were sunken and red and puffy, and I couldn’t tell if he had been crying, or if he was simply in the verge of. I slid down my chair to kneel in front him, but before I could even ask what was wrong, he moved. Not a single word from his mouth as he cupped both my cheeks and made my body shiver from the foreign contact I had been yearning for for long. He just stared into my eyes, my chest becoming heavier and heavier by the second. His stare was persistant yet insecure, and he kept opening and shutting his mouth, but the words didn’t seem to want to come out. After a few seconds, he finally let go of my face and just buried his head in my neck, hiding underneath my hair and gripping my shoulders tightly “What are you d-?”

“I love you” I almost didn’t hear it. It was soft and sincere and it made every hair on my body stand. His hot breath on my neck sent out yet another shiver through my body, and I could feel my face begin to burn.

“What?” my throat felt tight, so tight that my own voice was barely a whisper.

“I love you” he repeated. Only this time, he pulled away to look at me. No longer hiding. No longer embarrassed and ashamed to feel.

“I love you, too” I said with half a laugh. I had forgotten what carefree and genuinely blissful laughter sounded like as it echoed in my chest. My eyes were full of tears and my whole body tingled with hope and giddiness. I wiped my cheeks before pulling him closer and resting my forehead at the top of his head “I love you so much”

“For real?” he stepped even closer to me and pushed his head slightly against my jaw.

“For real” I said with a giggle as he pulled back to hold my face again, gazing at me with the goofiest grin on his face. I don’t think either of us had ever thought that we’d be able to ever experience a mutual love of this kind, so this whole situation felt almost surreal. To be loved back in such an unconditional and pure way, was almost like a childish dream. Something you’d never expect to find amongst people like us, who would still believe in love when all you ever learnt was abuse and fear? I sighed happily, content with how his touch felt on my skin and how gleeful he looked. But I had to ask, so I pushed him back a little “I’m glad you said it first, but… Why now?”

“I had a near death experience. Guess any time is a good time now, huh?” he laughed, tapping me slightly on the cheek. Knowing him like I did, it was a way to tiptoe around the truth, and I wasn’t about to begin this new chapter of our lives with a lie. I agreed with him, but that wasn’t why. Rocket had never been one to share his feelings or show his emotions or really admit to anything he could have perceived as a weak spot, near death or not. So I raised an eyebrow at him and cut all physical contact “Fine…” he rolled his eyes and took a step back “I had this nightmare”

“Oh….” as he sighed, his posture changed drastically. His arms dangled at the sides of his body as his shoulders slumped, his ears instantly dropped and were now flat against his head. His voice became a rumble in his throat, and it sounded almost broken. My heart dropped to my stomach as I launched forward to grab him and pull him on to my lap.

“You left” he laid his head on my shoulder again, claws tight around the straps of my top. He spoke slowly, as if he was uncertain of what to say next. As if the wrong string of words would change everything. Before I could reassure him, he finished his sentence, it was almost as if he was just muttering under his breath, but I understood what he said “With some stupid guy” he sniffled “A hummie, or maybe not. I don’t know, but he looked just like Quill” he sighed deeply and buried his head softly on my neck “And nothing like me…”

“I see” was all I could say. My hand travelled to the back of his head, and I started petting him. At first cautiously, afraid it might startle him. But instead, he leaned into my hand, and my hesitant touch quickly turned into the loving and comforting one I so terribly wanted to give him.

“It hurts…” I frowned, although he couldn’t see me. Hearing those words from him broke my heart. I never wanted him to ever be hurt again, or to feel pain in any kind of way.

“What hurts, my love?” I asked quietly. I felt him shift in my arms, and heard him take a deep breath. His claws fumbled around with the tips of my hair.

“To love ya” I felt my jaw clench.

“Why? Love isn’t supposed to hurt” I planted a small kiss between his ears.

“Because I’m always thinking of ya and dreaming of ya, and this-“ he gestured around with his hands, as if he was still trying to find the right word to say “It felt fucking terrible…” I held him tighter. I might not have had the right words to say either, but I was there for him. I had always been. And now I wanted to make sure that he knew it, that he knew I would look after him and protect him and hold him tight when things weren’t going his way “Like my chest was heavy, and-” and that’s when I understood why he looked the way he looked when he first walked in “And I just had to do it, ok?”

“Ok” I whispered affectionately in his ear before getting up, still holding him, and taking a step towards my bed. He didn’t protest as I pulled the covers over us and cuddled him, showering him with the kisses he had missed out on over the years. As we laid next to each other, with him curled up in a ball against me, I watched the rise and fall of his chest as he fell peacefully asleep in my arms. And just like that, gazing down at the one I had for so long loved in complete silence, my sleepless nights were over. And so were his nightmares and his fears. It was all over. And as all that suffering finally came to an end, the two of us had offered each other a new beginning “I’m glad you did”

Got this very sweet request from the lovely @tina-isleeping, I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. You all know I’m a simple sappy woman, I love writing about feelings. And I’m also incapable of short, simple fics. It’s always too long, but I’ve figured out how to add a “read more” button, so it’s ok!

The reader is listening to “This is How It Feels” by d4dv, which is the song that inspired this whole story. Hope you all like it!

Love you all 🤍

[auburniivenus]

------- This is what had been an vampire.

As he remained seated and stared at the child before him. She didn’t look like much. Hardly a meal at all, hardly worth the effort, but she had impressed him more than anyone else in quite some time, something more than mere cattle. Such power. Such strength, how his stomach would twist and turn at the thought.

Of one that could have gotten away.

That he had not been part of the plot to remove her, he would have not been so cruel to leave her alive, he would have devoured her fully and perhaps even the others who worked against her, such as she was now, she was nothing more than someone falling, the nature of this city, it was a wheel that kept moving and kept crashing all around it, there was no escape, her career.

Was over and with it, she had nowhere to go.

“The world is not what I want it to be.” He had been promised everything. That his pain, his sorrow, everything would be lifted from himself. “If you knew what it was to be me, you would understand why I strive for perfection.”

As his eyes narrowed. Everything that he was, everything that he has, the highest he had climbed, he had not reached them through normal means. He needed to continue the climb.

Everything had been stolen. From others. As he gritted teeth, which ones as well. Stolen as he reached a gloved hand outwards to the small child before him, placing his hand upon her head for a moment before ruffling her hair, no…he would not devour this one, he found her, entertaining.

“I am working on something, and I require aid, your aid. Your station is slipping within the city and that is expected, mortals do indeed like to betray one another, but I can gift you a chance, to work with me, aid me and my work and I will reward you with what you want, an immortal life, riches, and power the likes of which you cannot gain on your own.” @fallesto

Knees   trembling   with   the   magnificent   trepidation   of   one   who   stands   upon   the   verge   of   a   precipice.   She   glances   upwards   through   a   diffuse   miasma   of   light   and   shadow,   her   eyes   locking   with   Cazador's   in   an   exchange   as   profound   as   it   was   fraught.   His   voice,   coiling   around   her   perceptions   like   the   tendrils   of   a   gloomily   aromatic   vine—persistent,   insinuating—crafts   an   atmosphere   thick   with   a   phobia   that   is   paradoxically   godlike.   Each   syllable   he   utters   seems   to   hang   before   disintegrating   into   the   thickening   air,   both   an   encouragement   and   an   intrusion   into   eternity   itself.   How   potent   the   prospect   seems;   a   siren   call   indeed   which   emerges   from   his   proposition,   beseeching   her   to   crash   tempestuously   toward   those   secretive   shallows.

Below   this   mesmerizing   surface,   however—oh   so   sophisticated   and   enticing   it   is—a   tremor   of   trepidation   trembles   through   her;   it   sprouts   from   within   as   if   it   is   the   most   delicate   flower   pushing   forth   into   bloom   from   the   rich   earth   of   her   consciousness.   With   her   throat   seemingly   contracted   by   undetectable   digits,   she   maneuvers   the   swell   of   her   own   inner   tumult;   hands,   once   liberated   and   expressive   now   clenches   themselves   into   emblematic   fists   of   tender   defiance. "The   toll?"   She   inquires.   A   question   feather-light   yet   laden   with   the   importance   of   realms   yet   unknown—realms   made   intricately   by   those   such   as   Cazador   with   their   myriad   repercussions   and   unseen   webs.

His   response   unravels   before   her   in   manner   quite   reminiscent   of   some   grand   masterpiece;   its   components   vibrate   with   opulence   and   portent   enough   to   milk   tears   from   the   stars   themselves.   Her   yearning   to   escape   mediocrity’s   tight-fingered   grasp   is   completely   tangible—it   lingers   around   her,   a   moth   drawn   to   flame’s   fatal   dance.   But   the   cost…such   magnitude   rests   ponderously   upon   her   soul   even   at   the   very   thought;   forming   alliances   with   beings   enshrouded   in   riddle   upon   enigma—is   this   truly   flight   she   contemplates   or   merely   an   illusory   descent   towards   an   ornate   imprisonment?   Yet   abruptly   imbued   with   strength   that   blossoms   riotously   as   if   in   defiance   against   the   whisperings   of   self-doubt,   Orihime’s   voice   rose   substantially. "What   price   must   I   pay   to   have   freedom   and   assist   you   at   same   time?"   She   will   strike   this   pact   on   terms   remodeled   from   supplication   to   partnership—equality   their   new-found   scaffolding.   "An   ally   is   different   than   a   pawn."   Pronounces   firmly   into   the   space   they   share—a   declaration   that   humms   with   newfound   assurance,   rooting   her   presence   there   not   in   fear   but   in   unshakeable   determination   to   play   this   dangerous   game   to   whatever   end   that   awaits   them   in   this   elaborate   ballet.

[anchored-trident]

Community-building Tag Game

Tagged by: @quigonsjeans

Name: Real names? In this economy??? Call me Trident

Pronouns: he/him

Where do you call home? Currently holed up in Fullerton, southern California, although I am very eagerly planning to move to Concord, NH in the next 12-15 months (depending on finances)

Favorite animal: I'm going to be boring here and say cats... even though both cats I've owned have died... Primarily because they don't lick you and slobber all over you

Cereal of choice: Trix, but like, the old, classic Trix. From like, 2015. The good Trix

Are you a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner? 80% visual, 20% kinesthetic. Audio means nothing to me. Fun fact: I can't/won't actually commit to learning somebody's name until I've either seen it written down, or I asked them to spell it out so I can visualize their written name in my mind (like actual letters on a whiteboard)

First pet: I had a fish. It died. It was a very long time ago. I'm not sure if I ever even named it. Then I didn't have pets for a very long time. Then I had a cat... adopted a kitten whose yearning for the Great Outdoors could not be restrained by any amount of human-enforced enclosures

Favorite scent: Lemon. Lemon handsoap. Lemon merengue pie. Lemon pound cake. You get the gist

Do you believe in astrology? Naw, but when I was 8, I got really into astronomy... of course, back then, we lived in the Hungarian countryside, where it was a lot easier to see stars than in SoCal. I make yearly trips to the middle of nowhere to look at the Milky Way, and deeply regret that I still to this day do not own a proper telescope

How many playlists do you have on Spotify/Apple Music? 46 Spotify playlists that I have made... a few more if you count playlists I'm subscribed to. My music friends either strongly dislike or are extremely puzzled by my music taste

Sharpies or highlighters? Can I pick neither? I'm going to pick neither and go with fountain pens instead. Recently got into fountain pens, and they're AWESOME

A song that makes you cry: Hmmm... I haven't had a good cry in at least 7 years, but... there are a few that can touch my heartstrings just right and bring me to the verge of tears. How Long Will I Love You, from the movie, About Time, tugs on the strings of my hopeless romantic heart in just the right ways

A song that makes you happy: I was not expecting to have to think so hard about this one... I think it's going to be a toss-up between I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift (with the goat-like screams whenever appropriate) and Believe by Cher, because both of those are songs I can't help but sing along to, and even though I've never been a good singer, I love them

And finally, do you write/draw/create? if so, use this as an opportunity to shamelessly (😉) promote yourself!

Can't draw for the life of me. I write poetry on my other Tumblr account, @trident-writes-poetry

I am also a D&D Dungeon Master and love brainstorming plots and ideas and NPCs, but I don't necessarily write anything. I think I'm an ENTJ, so the idea of sitting still and being alone with my own thoughts is terrifying, so I'd rather just spend my time with people

Nominations (either because we're mutuals or I find you interesting): @logo-comics, @litostaves, @psychopomp-reborn, @technolilly, @teaboot, @clawedandcute, @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord, @thebirdandhersong , @messianicbabycatcher

[twoaltn]

week 6

five seconds flat by Lizzy McAlpine

special thanks to claudia

doomsday: Very strange and confusing. Sonically different from what I expected, and the lyrics made me slightly uncomfortable for some reason. Definitely piqued my interest and gripped my attention for the rest of the album.

an ego thing: I like how the instrumentation is more lush than the typical acoustic guitar + soft drums common in singer-songwriter music. My interest continues to be piqued.

erase me (feat. Jacob Collier): I was left on the verge of tears after I first listened to this song. The breakdown around 2:15 is breathtaking. I know at this point the album is at least a 4/5, because this is definitely going on my playlist. *STANDOUT TRACK*

called you again: Ughhh it's so yearning and beautiful. The touch of strings is lovely. *STANDOUT TRACK*

all my ghosts: Cute and groovy in its own chill, laid back way.

reckless driving (feat. Ben Kessler): Love the back and forth between Lizzy and Ben. Their voices weave together wonderfully and the abrupt ending is powerful.

weird (feat. Laura Elliott): Not particularly memorable to me.

ceilings: I had heard this song before and thought this was how the whole album was gonna sound. Not that it's bad, just that it's rather basic.

what a shame: Not particularly memorable to me, pt. 2.

firearm: Haunting and chilling in the best way.

hate to be lame (feat. Finneas): I love the little breakdown around 1:30. I want more of that!

nobody likes a secret: Ceilings vibes, I guess.

chemtrails: I really like the way she enunciates words and this song showcases it well. It's very delicate and light.

orange show speedway: So cute! I would not have ended the album this way; maybe swap chemtrails and this? Not a fan of the voice memos but otherwise it's a good song.

Overall thoughts: Finally, my first 5/5 of the year. This is precisely why I'm pursuing this project: I went in thinking this would be a 2 or 3 based on my limited knowledge of Lizzy and her music, and I have ended up repeating this album multiple times since I first listened to it. I'm definitely looking forward to her next project.

RATING: 5/5 (repeatable)

[shiny-jr]

soft vil for the alphabet maybe? congratulations on (nearly) 3k followers btw!! that's huge!!!

Warning: Yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Vil Schoenheit.

Note: Thank you very much, anon! I knew someone would request him. I thought some people may request him at the same time, and multiple people did. But I didn't expect it to be literally the first one. I find it amusing how y'all scramble for the soft yan Vil content. Whenever I drop the slightest mention of soft yan Vil, I just imagine y'all like this. And I’m thinking to myself, you know what? Let’s just do one with the whole alphabet. I know some people follow me just because of how I write this guy. So here you go. Go crazy. 

Letters: A - Z

➸ Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

     ➳ Vil once said he despises those who spoil others. Well... he's guilty of just that. Although he doesn't exactly refer to it as "spoiling" you. To him, he's simply rewarding you for being such a lovely darling (pretty much rewarding you for being yourself and giving him attention). It's safe to say that gift giving is his love language. Even if he appears cold and aloof, especially to others (never to you), he showers you with gifts galore. Examples: Oh? You liked that drink you tried? Well, it's healthy, so he'll order a dozen more to take home for you later. That plushie or other obscure item you were eyeing? It ends up in your room. Those shoes you wanted a few months ago but never told him until now? Consider them yours, and in multiple colors!

     ➳ Of course, he also displays physical affection, but it's largely behind closed doors. Honestly, sometimes you prefer being in public because you have some breathing room. You've spent so much time around Vil that you can tell when he's yearning for some love. When his grip tightens around your hand, when he's glancing at you more often, when his arm around your waist is guiding you towards a private room, these are all signs that he’s needy for some attention. And you know that as soon as those doors close, leaving only you and him, there’s no getting him off you. That’s when his elegant and refined composure crumbles as he becomes clingy and over affectionate, peppering kisses all over your face, leaning incredibly close so your bodies are practically against each other, and if you give him a smooch back or compliment/praise him? Good luck getting him off you for the next few hours. 

➸ Blood. How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

    ➳ Not at all really, he has his own way of handling troublesome matters. But of course, never handling them within his darling’s sight. In fact, he will never get his hands dirty, because it simply isn’t necessary when he has other methods. But that isn’t to say he wouldn’t get messy if he absolutely had to. It’s just that his other ways are so much more effective. 

   ➳ That director that made a snide remark about you? Vil is threatening the company in charge of the film to fire that insolent old man or else he will refuse to play any part in the film. That director quickly loses his credibility and this major job, since the company can’t risk losing the Vil Schoenheit. A jealous woman working in the makeup department keeps glaring at you and not-so-subtly trying to make a move on him? He’s demanding a new makeup artist, all the while making such venomous insults towards the woman so she was on the verge of tears. One of the security guards he hired for your safety is getting too close to comfort, hm? Where did he go, you ask? Don’t worry your pretty little head about that. He will not be bothering you ever again. 

➸ Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? 

   ➳ I’d like to think that Vil wouldn’t really kidnap his darling. It’s more like he’s holding them against their will. Or is it against their will? When you stay at his family’s home, he keeps convincing you to stay for longer each time you even think of leaving. Oh no, he won’t mock you at all. In fact, if you even attempt to leave, he’s very upset. Paired with the reasons and excuses he gives each time you make an attempt, not to mention how loving he is and how much he spoils you, it’s hard to actual step through the doors.

  ➳ You want to go visit your silly friends in the Queendom of Roses? He’ll just invite them here so you won’t have to go. You’re thinking of returning to the Ramshackle dorm? Perish the thought. That old crow will run you ragged in exchange for you to stay in that old dorm. Just stay here, is that so much to ask for? 

➸ Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? 

   ➳ That depends. Does changing your mind beforehand count? Vil is nothing but gentle and patient with you. He’ll ease you into things you might’ve not liked before (here) such as heels or makeup or other things. He’ll ease you more into healthy meals, exercising with him, etcetera. So it’s actually very difficult to find something he would do against your will, since he manages to ease you or convince you in nearly all things. However, if there’s something you’re adamantly against, then he won’t force you. After all, your happiness is extremely important to him. 

➸ Exposed. How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? 

   ➳ Almost his entire heart is bared to you. Everyday when you’re alone with him, you see a side of Vil Schoenheit that the world has never seen before. Only you see this vulnerable side of him. Everyone sees Vil as someone that’s nearly the embodiment of perfection. He’s elegant, he’s intelligent, he’s beautiful. Yet he seems too perfect to even approach with his cold exterior, his regal mannerisms, and his strict code. He radiates confidence, he’s like the rarest diamond. But only you see him at his lows and his highs. When he’s crying and has mascara running down his face, when he’s initiating intimate moments with you, when he’s so happy that he’s squealing! Only you see these parts of him. But keep in mind, in the beginning I said he bares almost his entire heart to you. There’s a small part of himself that he tucks away, afraid that you will never consider him truly perfect enough for you.  

➸ Fight. How would they feel if their darling fought back? 

  ➳ Absolutely heartbroken. I imagine that you finally realize what he’s doing, you finally see that he’s being manipulative in some ways, you notice that he’s hurting others just to keep you happy and comfortable, and that is genuinely unhealthy in many aspects. When you not only begin to avoid his affections but also confront him, he feels his heart stop. This was it. The moment he always feared. You thought he was inadequate. He had not yet achieved perfection. He wasn’t good enough for you, he never was–– Did you think he was ugly? Do you find his actions disgusting? Why are you looking at him like that?! All his confidence shatters as he feels empty. If you didn’t want him, if he wasn’t good enough for you, then what now? He can’t be without you, he refuses to––! Ah... then he’ll just have to work harder so you won’t reject him again. He’ll polish himself to a brilliant shine, he’ll improve himself, all for you. 

➸ Game. Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? 

  ➳ It isn’t a game to him. These are important matters to him! He doesn’t enjoy seeing you try to leave at all! Each time you mention leaving, he immediately begins to worry as he gives you a reason to stay. Each time you even consider leaving, he’s immediately questioning where we went wrong. Was it something he said? Something he did? He carefully reflects on everything he did the last few days that could’ve potentially prompted you to consider leaving, and he immediately corrects himself. All your attempts to leave are blocked by him as he gives you reasons and excuses as to why you should stay. 

➸ Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? 

  ➳ Maybe you might find his clinginess and affection annoying and suffocating at some point. But perhaps the worst experience is not even something that happened directly to you. If you linger or hide, you might be able to eavesdrop on Vil as he snaps–– with a matter related to you. Most likely more jealous fans, or rude employers or assistants, something happened and they insulted you. 

  ➳ You hid in a closet of a room where the only other person in the vicinity was Vil. You didn’t mean to hide, you just happened to be in the closet when he came in and slammed the door harshly behind him. He was pacing, struggling to keep his breath even as he dials a number on his phone. You don’t know who exactly he’s talking to on the phone, but it has to be a higher up. It’s scary because you’ve never seen this side of Vil so extreme. He was angry, practically yelling at the person on the other end of the line. He was seething the most vile insults about the one who offended you, he wanted them ruined, and he would not stop until they regret what they did to you. It could even be an offhand remark that didn’t mean much but that made you uncomfortable, it doesn’t matter. They still offended you. It was frightening to see the sweet and loving Vil you knew was actually doing things like this behind your back, and it was unnerving to see how enraged he got because of a simple offense. 

➸ Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? 

   ➳ At least once he would love to act in a movie with you. A romantic lovely movie. He doesn’t care about the ratings, or the other cast, all he cares about is making this film with you. Dancing in the rain, creating those cheesy romantic scenes, sharing a kiss or two, things like that. Perhaps later on he would like to be a father, but at the same time he also wouldn’t mind if it were only him and you. All he wants is for you to spare him attention and affection. Is he not number one on your list? 

    ➳ Oh, but if you became a director, or makeup artist, or anything along those lines, he’ll request you work with him at every job. Wherever he goes, he wants to go with you beside him. Being a top power couple in Twisted Wonderland’s version of Hollywood doesn’t sound so bad, does it~? 

➸ Jealousy. Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

   ➳ Yes, Vil gets very jealous but he manages to keep it under wraps all the time. At least until you’re alone, then his need for affection is much worse. However, your affection is how he reassures himself that you chose him. It’s how he copes. The worst you’ve seen him is when the actor and model Neige happened to be at the same photoshoot one day. As Neige kindly introduced himself to you, eager to meet his dear friend Vil’s significant other, you noticed the said blonde behind the young man. His eye twitched in annoyance, his sharp painted nails dug into the cloth of his sides as he resisted the temptation to practically strangle the angelic young man, but he doesn’t lash out. Surprisingly. Although later on when alone with you, Vil does need a lot more reassurance that you still prefer him over Neige. 

➸ Kisses. How do they act around or with their darling? 

   ➳ Sweet and loving. Most of the time he’d appear so normal, that it would be very difficult to ever imagine that his sanity practically depended on your approval/opinion of him. We’ve already talked about how he’s like in private, but let’s talk about in public now. In the public eye, he does keep up appearance. Remaining composed, regal, etcetera, just like normal. Except it’s normal to see him standing very close to you, right beside you, with an arm around your waist or your arm interlocked with his. And his smiles are a lot more common. As long as you’re around and you’re treated well, he’ll be in a good mood. Which is why his manager begs you to come with him every time he’s taking a job. You don’t know how much trouble you save her from. 

➸ Love letters. How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? 

   ➳ As mentioned once before, Vil actually greatly wishes that he was the one confessed to. Not the other way around. Putting more effort into his makeup, spraying on perfume you liked, wearing additional accessories he knows are to your liking. He makes little changes in his appearance just to appeal to you more. Now at first he isn’t overly kind, he wouldn’t wish to creep you out. But he isn’t as cold as he normally can be. Meeting him is always a delight. This good impression is how he lures you closer. I’ve sort of gone over already how it might go if he were forced to do the confessing (and eventually get rejected) here. However, for the sake of more content, let’s consider the situation if you were to actually confess to him (because you didn’t know he was so obsessed with you). Yes, he gracefully accepts your confession with a sweet smile and warm blush on his cheeks. Then, he gifts you a gentle kiss on your forehead. But in private when he’s finally alone after the confession? Oh boy. He’s so overjoyed that he’s squealing/shrieking(?) and throwing himself backwards onto his bed as he clutches the flowers you gave him to his heart. 

➸ Mask. Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? 

   ➳ Yes. There are some things that he does or says that he isn’t completely content with. And additionally, let’s remember that he does become quite easy to anger whenever his sweet darling isn’t there to put him in a good mood. Why do you think his manager always pleads with you to come? Not to mention, the way he treats those that disrespect you, especially when you’re not looking, is downright vile. Vil does not want you to see this ugly side of him, so he does hide it. 

➸ Naughty. How would they punish their darling? 

   ➳ Him? Punish you? No, never! Vil wouldn’t dare! 

➸ Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling? 

    ➳ None really. As stated before, Vil greatly prioritizes your happiness. Taking away your rights and freedoms would only lead to disaster, he knows that. Besides, he wishes for you to come to love him more and more by your own devices. Not by punishments that include stripping you of your rights. The most he’ll do, again as mentioned before, is restrict your freedom by persuasion just because he wants you to live in the same space as him. But then again, he isn’t forcing it upon you. 

➸ Patience. How patient are they with their darling? 

    ➳ If you’re already dating him, he’s very patient and gentle with you. However, for more of content’s sake, let’s just say you aren’t dating yet and no one has confessed yet. As the days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, he becomes more and more impatient. Why haven’t you confessed yet? Are you hesitating for some reason? Is something wrong? Can’t you see he even wore his best lipstick today because he thought you were finally confessing?! As more and more time goes by, he seriously contemplates being the one to confess to you. Or perhaps... did you not like him in that manner at all? Despite his efforts to appeal to you more, was he not what you were looking for? The longer he goes without receiving a confession from you, the more anxious and insecure he becomes. 

➸ Quit. If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

   ➳ It’s very unlikely you would die or escape in this situation, the most likely option seems to just leave. If you do leave, and by leave I mean not only move out of his house but also break-up with him, he’s having a complete meltdown. Yet despite all the tears and sobs, he doesn’t dare contact you yet. Your sudden choice to sever your relationship has made one thing clear: he was lacking. In Vil’s mind, the break-up was because he was lacking. The only solution seems to continue to improve himself. There is always room for improvement to get closer and closer to perfection. Although it’s much harder for him to focus on self-improvement when you’re stuck in his mind in every waking and sleeping hour. While your leave has left him in shambles, he still is determined to be better. So that soon, he can proudly approach you, he can reach out and plead ask for another chance. 

➸ Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

   ➳ Of course not! After all, he didn’t abduct you. You came here by your own will, and you stayed with a bit of persuasion on his end. There’s no need to go. He takes such good care of you too. If you’re so set on contributing, you can work for him and earn your own keep. 

➸ Stigma. What brought about this side of them?

   ➳ Honestly, it really depends on the au. So I cannot give a definite answer to this question. 

➸ Tears. How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

   ➳ It breaks his heart to see his dearest in this state. Yes, he knows he was not the cause, but still, he cannot help but feel as if he did something wrong. Immediately he’s dropping everything. Everything is canceled! His schedule is cleared and he’s tossing aside the items in his hands as he takes the spot beside you, comforting you and speaking to you softly, as if afraid of scaring you. Once you’ve calmed down to a degree and with your permission, he’ll hold you close in his arms. His hand is slowly moving along your head, patting it gently as he quietly hums to you. He’ll ask if you want to speak about it (heavens have mercy if some poor soul caused you to be like this). If you tell him, he’ll listen attentively without interrupting you before promising to deal with the matter personally. If you don’t want to talk about, he’ll wait and simply continue to be a comforting presence as he dabs away your tears. 

➸ Unique. Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? 

   ➳ Well, Vil is a lot softer of a yandere (the note literally has “soft yan Vil” so what did you expect?). While most yanderes would be willing to harm their darling to a degree or force them to do something against their will, Vil would never. This might be why he would be much more successful than most yanderes in securing a “happy ending” that can resemble a normal relationship with his dearest. 

➸ Vice. What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

   ➳ There isn’t really any need for “escape.” However, in general, you can exploit two things. First off is your happiness. As we’ve established, Vil prioritizes your happiness. If you’re truly miserable about something and there’s no easing you into it, then that’s exploitable. He will always prioritize your joy above his own. Always. Secondly, another thing you can exploit is your opinion on him. If you simply voice your disapproval of something he does or says, that’s an easy weakness of his to exploit. After all, if you say something is wrong about him, then it must be true and all that’s left is to fix it.

➸ Wit’s end. Would they ever hurt their darling? 

   ➳ No! Although he may grow frustrated or angry, he will never direct those negative feelings towards you. Instead, he will deflect them towards himself or others. You will never be on the opposing end of his wrath. 

➸ Xoanon. How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

   ➳ Oh, a lot. Your opinion of him is absolute, it is as you say. The real question is, what wouldn’t he do to win you over? He’s willing to slowly change his habits and place on a bit of an act just for your affections. Although he would greatly prefer if you loved him as he was, but that doesn’t mean he won’t change himself for you. Beauty comes in many forms. If you view beauty a certain way by looks, or mannerisms, or speech, then he wants to emulate that form of beauty. 

➸ Yearn. How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? 

   ➳ Again, he doesn’t snap. Maybe by snap here it means his patience dwindles to zero and he finally has enough of waiting so he just confesses his love to you. The most he’ll wait is about three to four months, that’s how long he’s attempted to make you fall for him.

➸ Zenith. Would they ever break their darling? 

   ➳ Can one be mentally broken by this beautiful blonde man who only wishes to spoil you and smother you in affection? This is the same man who places your happiness first. Is it really possible when he’s fretting over you constantly and always worried for your physical health, emotional health, and mental health? 

[lale-txt]

♁ One Piece x Reader exchange: Kid & his s/o dying in his arms

a/n: hi! this is my piece for the @onepiece-reader-exchange, thank you for the fun project! i got the chance to write for @wimble-warcrime who i apologize to for picking the angsty one out of all prompts you gave, but on the other hand i just had to. hope you're pleased with the fic!

contains: gn!reader, HEAVY ANGST, death of reader, blood mention. this is not a light-hearted read.

word count: 1.6k

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

In fact, it wasn’t supposed to end at all. Forever. You could still hear Kid huff about this, about the mere thought of spending a life together, side by side, until death do you part. He was a pirate after all, he knew for a fact how fast a life can be wiped out in the thump of a heartbeat. Forever was just a foul promise. And yet you found him in his workshop the other night, unusually quiet as he focused as he fumbled with something in his massive hands. It was only when you wrapped your arms around his neck from behind and peeked over his shoulder that you saw the two rings in his palms – a declaration of his devoted heart.

Until death do us part.

You raise your hand towards the vast sky, painted in the lush red and blue colors of dawn, the plain silver band on your ring finger shimmering from underneath all the blood. Shit. So this is it. A hoarse sound escapes your throat, something between a bitter laugh and a cry out for help, painfully aware that it was too late for that. You never thought much about dying, but you didn’t expect to be so calm, almost grateful to experience the rising sun one last time before your heart would stop beating.

Kid. You want to see him one last time. Is this selfish? Yearning for the touch of your lover when you’re tiptoeing on the verge of life and death? Was this too much to ask for? You wonder if he’ll be the one who finds your body. If he will allow himself some tears or just unleash the fury because there was never another way for him to regulate his feelings. And… if he will love again. You hope so, you really do.

Being a Kid pirate meant to never shy away from a good fight. You were pirates, not saints. You would fight tooth and nail for what you wanted to protect and never showed any mercy. The world was harsh and so was your captain, barking out orders and insults as he destroyed whatever crossed his path in the blink of an eye. He was a force to reckon with if anyone ever dared to hurt his crew. During every battle, all you could see was his broad back, the shoulders you used to fall asleep on when nobody else was watching, his bright red hair like a lighthouse in the dark. 

He always watched out for you. Kid’s love was never tender, it was a wildfire and you stood in the eye of it, letting the flames lick your skin without being burned. He made you feel so warm, so seen. As if you were indestructible as long as you were together. He couldn’t have known that one day you would fly a little too close to the sun, wanting to be the one who looked out for him just once. Who could have known it came with a price… 

The air smelled like gunpowder and blood. And it was quiet, so quiet. The battle must have been over by now, at least the one that’s carried out with fists and weapons; there were other ones held in their hearts only. Not you, though. Your heart sighed. It sure was tired, but at least it didn’t hurt. Death crawled up on you in silence, tugging on your heart strings. Soon, so soon, you’d be stardust again. Maybe you could guide him then, towards the horizon and beyond, until you meet again in the vast night sky. 

The faint sound of your name makes you flinch. With your arm still raised towards the sky you try to call out his name, but all you can do is cough up more blood as your vision flickers, your breath sharp and rattling in your chest. One last time. Just one last time. A few more selfish heartbeats is all you asked for. 

And then he is next to you, his hand wrapping yours before he brings it to his chest. You can feel his heart drumming in there, a high contrast to the one in your ribcage, getting weaker minute by minute. You blink a few times until you can see him clearly, his expression full of pain and rage, his whole body trembling. He is here, there is nothing to fear now. 

“You fucking idiot.”, he growls but his voice is missing its usual spite. It carries sorrow and fear, a side you have never witnessed before. You try to squeeze his hand but with life slowly dripping out of you, all you can manage is shifting your hand slightly in his. You mumble out his name hoarsely, trying to put all the unsaid words in this one syllable but he hushes you, his hand clutching tighter around yours. His metal arm hovers over you, unsure where and how to touch you without causing any more damage – in denial about the fact that there wasn’t anything left he could break. 

“Shh, now. We’ll patch you up and next thing you know we’re out there again, I promise.” 

You shake your head slightly, trying a weak smile while tears are pricking in the corner of your eyes. No more promises. All you want now is to be held. There was nothing else left to do. With your vision blurry you can’t make out Kid’s expression anymore, but you sense his silhouette leaning closer to you as he brings your hand to his face, kissing your bloody fingertips. You brush over his lips softly, warmth spreading from there and seeping throughout your whole body, like it always did when you kissed. Kid would have never admitted it, but he shines brighter than a thousand suns, a force of life in the fragile shell of a human body.

You sigh in relief when he puts his human arm around your shoulders, lifting you up carefully so your head could rest against his chest instead of the hard floor. Mumbling your name over and over again he holds you tight, his metal hand uselessly resting next to you. You wonder if he will beat himself up for not being able to hold you properly with both arms while you were taking your last breaths and you know he will, and you wish you could tell him that it was okay, that this was more than enough, him being here was enough. You want to tell him that it didn’t hurt anymore, that he’ll be okay, that you will never be really gone, just orbiting around the sun until he’ll join you one day. You hope he will understand you without words, like he always did.

Look after Killer and the rest of the crew for me, okay? Sail to the end of the world and beyond and find that One Piece. Please don’t forget me. I love you, Kid. You know that, right? My heart recognized you the very first minute we met. You were my forever. You’ll always be. Don’t give up on love. I will always be out there. I love you so, so much. It doesn’t hurt, don’t worry. In your arms I always felt the safest. I love you. Kid, will you come find me again in the next life? I’ll be out there, waiting, dancing, laughing while crying. I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Hey. Hey, keep your eyes open, okay? Hold on a little bit longer. I’ll fix this. I’m sorry. I’ll fix this. I’m so sorry. Hey… hey. Don’t close your eyes. Hey.”

Kid’s voice cracks. He’s shaking you slightly, fingers digging into your skin as he nudges you with his nose, whispering close to your ear, placing a few kisses in the corner of your mouth, the metallic taste biting his tongue. A wave of panic rushes over him, his whole body frozen on the spot. His heart was telling him to lift you up and run, as if he could escape death just like that; but his gut knew better. That this is it. The rapid end of a love story that only just began, its first blossoms now soaked in blood. His eyes flicker from your face to your hand resting against his chest, the silver band shimmering slightly, mocking him with the false promise it holds. He never wanted forever, he wanted you. 

Then there is this light and it feels like you are floating. Death is lifting you up gently from your lover’s arms. You know this isn’t a farewell, this is merely a heart that stops beating, the memory of it never fading, engraved inside of Kid’s chest, becoming an armor for a lifetime until you meet again, just two stars swaying side by side in the night sky.

Kid’s raspy cry disrupts the silence once your hand slips down his chest, leaving a bloody mark where your fingertips once lingered. He is blinded by fury and the burgeoning feeling in his chest that he could have prevented this; that you could still be here, breathing and calling out his name if only he didn’t let his guard down for those three seconds, if only you didn’t split up hours earlier in the naive belief that you still got so much time, that you got a life together. 

If only.

If only death could have taken him instead of you. If only hearts wouldn’t shatter in silence. If only he could turn back time to tell you how he felt, how he really felt, say those three words out loud over and over again until you would shut him up with a kiss. 

If only love was enough.

[stargirlfics]

What You Need

Daddy!Chris Evans x Black Little!Reader

Summary: When things are overwhelming you, he knows exactly what you need

Written for @dadplease’s 5k Stuffie Writing Contest! Love you, Eun and I’m so happy to have been able to write something for this!!

Warnings: 18+ONLY, DDLG dynamics, hurt/comfort, mentions of anxiety and stress, use of “daddy” and “little one”

Word Count: 1.4k

By nature you were sensitive and soft and that’s exactly what Chris loved about you. 

How soft your heart was. You were just the most adorable thing and while you had learned to find strength in your softness, sometimes you just wanted to be taken care of, to be babied and told you were okay and loved and didn’t have to worry about a single thing especially when you were always expected to be the strong one. 

And that’s where Chris came in. Your Daddy. The love of your life and the man of your dreams who always did his best to make you the happiest because you were precious to him and deserved the world. 

Things had been going great with your boyfriend of two years, you had settled into your dynamic, and long gone were the days of shyly calling him “Daddy”, you said the title with confidence now, very much happy to be his Little. 

Lately, however, you were more stressed out and overwhelmed than you could handle despite wanting to admit it. 

You felt a little pathetic for not being able to handle everything on your plate with ease, from your responsibilities to things with your family and friends and with your job, you just felt swamped and frustrated that everything felt so difficult and that you weren’t good enough to do any of it right. 

Chris could sense your anxiety looming over you more than it should be and gently guided you to take breaks and made sure to give you extra love and care, he knew how much of your own needs could end up pushed to the side when you felt this way and most of the time you could get through the day but today was just one of your hardest. 

Bad news compounded by the stress of just trying to exist had you on the verge of tears all morning and by the time Chris came home for the day you were really struggling to keep it together. 

He called out to you like he always did when came home but you couldn’t answer him, in fact you were hiding under your blanket in your shared bedroom, afraid that you’d just burst into tears if you saw him. 

You just needed to hold it together that’s all, you had so much to do and you didn’t want to acknowledge how distressed you were in fear that if you did it would just never end. 

But Chris was always good at figuring out where you were at both physically and mentally and before long his soft footsteps and the patter of Dodger’s paws upon the floor could be heard getting closer. 

Two knock reverberated against the half closed bedroom door, “How’re you holding up, little one?” his voice was gentle and careful in that way that made you yearn for his embrace. 

There wasn’t any point to hiding your anxiety, all the little signs and unspoken things were there. You wanted his love and comfort and you had to give in and let yourself believe you deserved it. 

Slowly, you sat up, keeping your fuzzy blanket wrapped around you  tightly, your eyes reluctantly finding his. And that’s when the sniffles and tears started. 

“N-not good, daddy. I don’t feel good.” you whimpered, eyes bleary with tears oh so ready to fall to your cheeks below.

Chris came to your side immediately, the sight of you so upset making his heart ache. 

“Hey, hey, c’mere sweetheart. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time right now, can I hold you? I’m right here,” he kept his voice real soft for you, the tenderness and concern in his voice making you sob even harder. 

You could only nod and reach out for him, letting him wrap you up in his arms tight.

What grief it was to be shown so much patience and care when you felt so broken. Chris saw your pain and worry and would move mountains to make it stop and to know that made you feel safe to fall apart and release all the panic weighing you down. 

“Shh shh, there you go. Promise it’s gonna be okay, baby, let all that out.” Chris pressed a kiss to the top of your head that was tucked into his chest, his hands rubbed soothingly at your back.

You were scared and the anxiety came in waves but it did feel good to let yourself cry and to be held through it, you felt so shaky and unsteady but Chris was right by your side and slowly but surely you allowed that to sink into your mind and provide a shred of stable ground to find your footing on. 

He rocked you in his arms a little, squeezing you just a little tighter whenever your cries got heavier until eventually there were more sniffles than tears falling. 

Nervously, you looked up at him and was happy to see his lips form into a soft smile, just for you. 

“Hey, there’s my girl. You know what I have that I think will help you feel better?” Chris whispered to you and leaned his head down to kiss your forehead. 

You tried to take a guess but shook your head shyly when you couldn’t think of anything and that’s when Chris started to move to get up presumably to get whatever he was going to give to you but you didn’t want to be left alone, you just wanted to stay in your daddy’s arms forever and forget about the icky thoughts in your head. 

A frantic whimper of protest could be heard as Chris stood up from the bed, his heart aching once again at the sound. You were just so precious and sensitive and he wanted to make this all better so he held his arms out for you. 

“C’mere, we can go get the special surprise together,” he grinned when you rushed to him and felt yourself being lifted from the bed, “Good girl.” 

Two words that never failed to make your heart melt like it was your first date all over again. 

The smell of his cologne and shampoo helped ease you further as you tucked your chin against his shoulder and held on till you reached the living room and even then Chris didn’t let you go, he simply positioned you around so you were sitting in his lap, your back against his chest. 

And then out of nowhere he pulled a lilac colored bag from the side of the couch and handed it to you. 

“I know you’ve been dealing with a lot of big feelings lately and hopefully this can bring you some comfort, you deserve it, princess.” 

You were still sniffling and your eyes were a bit swollen from crying so much but there was that tiny spark of wonder and excitement in them again that Chris loved to see so much and he watched patiently as you sunk your hands into the bag and gasped as you pulled out the gift. 

A soft, plush sand colored bunny rabbit stuffed animal with cutest floppy ears and crocheted pink sweater over it’s body was held in your hands! The same one you’d seen in that shop window downtown months ago! Chris must have noticed you eyeing it and your heart swelled as it sank in.

“Daddy! You really got me the bunny!” you squealed in delight, hugging it to your chest. There was a wide smile on your face and that’s exactly what Chris had hoped to see.

“Mhm, I remembered you talking about how adorable you thought it was for twenty straight minutes after we passed the shop and went on a hunt for it the other day.” 

Chris pressed another kiss to your forehead as you marveled over the plush bunny. It smelled like him and the little smile sewn onto his face instantly made you feel like you had a friend, like you’d get through this rough patch, like you had a sweet little companion to hold onto when your head became too anxious. 

“I love him, I love him so much already! Thank you for this, daddy. And for taking care of me and making me feel safe. Everything is gonna be okay, right?” your voice dropped down to that tiny whisper that told him you were feeling Little and vulnerable and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist.

“Everything will be okay, little one, exactly right. I’ll always take care of you, that’s what good daddy’s do. You’re everything to me and you don’t have to take on anything without help. Me and Mr. Buns are right by your side.”

You laughed at the name he’d given your new stuffie and nuzzled his cheek, a few seeds of hope beginning to sprout in your heart. 

Maybe it really would be alright after all!

---

Something short and sweet cause sometimes you just need some comfort! Sending love to anyone who needs it!

---

some tags: @nsfwsebbie @babyyhoneyydarling @pipsqueakkitten @strawbeariefaerie​ @bitchinsinclair​ @honeystevie​ 

[tired-teacher-blog]

Teachhhh *cups your face in my hands* hear me out!!!

What do we think about reader waking up Kirishima, Aizawa or Dabi in the middle of the night because of how much she’s crying thinking his partner will get bored of her and break up with her at any moment and she’s just so head over hills for him and scared. The angsty fear of abandonment and trust issues is something I surprisingly don’t see a lot in the community, I wanted to know your take on that one

*kisses your pretty nose*

Listen love, how about we do all three of them? *pinches your cheeks lovingly and kisses your forehead* I'll take care of it.

Title : Distress

Characters : Dabi/ Aizawa/ Kirishima/ fem reader

Genre : angst/ fluff/ hurt and comfort

Masterlist

Kirishima :

Your throat hurt, and your eyes burned as you struggled to keep your sobs from waking up the man sleeping peacefully by your side.

You are dating one of the best pro heroes in the country, something no one seems to believe is actually happening, and you understand that completely. What you can't comprehend though, is why? Why is he with you of all people? He's surrounded by amazing heroes and fans, each and every one of them is far better than you are.

What hurts the most though is that despite knowing all that, you still hope to always be his first choice. It's selfish, but you love him too much to think otherwise.

You sat up, trying to calm yourself down as your anxiety rendered you breathless.

And apparently your shifting woke Eijiro up from his slumber, because the next thing you knew, two frightened crimson orbs were starting at your shaky form.

_ "Hey hey babe what's the matter? Are you alright? Did you have a bad dream? Please look at me." He was gentle, same as always, and for some reason this made you cry even harder. You didn't deserve his concern, you deserved nothing from him, and the realization only added to your self resentment.

He couldn't just sit there and watch you torturing yourself, so he carefully dragged you into his embrace and you clung to him for dear life. He allowed you to weep as he silently traced your spine and placed soft kisses on your head.

He was expecting you to explain yourself once your sobbing stopped, and you had no idea what to say. Should you lie about it and pretend it was nothing but a horrible nightmare? Or is it better to just tell him the truth?

_ "Honey, are you feeling better?" He whispered caressing your cheeks and pecking the damp skin under your eyes.

_ "Yes I'm alright, I'm sorry.." You tried as best as you could to force a smile, but he saw right through you, and it only added to his concern and to your guilt.

_ "Please don't lie to me love, please tell me what's going on and don't pretend everything is fine when it's clearly not. Just talk to me." He was on the verge of tears himself, seeing you distancing yourself was torture.. just torture.

He deserves to know, for his own good and yours, you owed him that.

_ "I'm scared. What if one day you realize that I'm not enough for you. It kills me to imagine a future without you in my life." You were falling apart considering the possibility of your own words.

He said nothing at first, and just stared at you wide eyed. He couldn't understand your reasoning at all. Did he unintentionally do something to make you doubt his feelings?

_ "Y/n listen to me carefully, I.love.you" He stressed on each word hoping to engrave them in your heart and brain. "Nothing will ever change that. Please don't doubt me or yourself I'm begging you." He stopped for a second to cradle your face before continuing in a softer voice "I understand you completely, I know how anxiety can be destructive at times, because I've been there myself. I've been crippled by my own self doubt, but I'm over it now and I will not rest until you are too. So please never hide anything from me anymore, allow me to be there for you the way you are for me." His words gave you the peace you yearned for, and you wished you'd talked to him about your concerns much sooner instead of carrying the burden all by yourself. But it wasn't too late, and the loving look on his face said so.

_ "Yes, I promise." And you could finally heave a sigh of relief as your boyfriend kissed your lips tenderly.

Aizawa :

You were in his arms, same as every night, feeling his soft breathing and listening to his heartbeat as you laid your head on his chest. A beautiful picture. If only you could convince your restless mind to give you a break.

Why was it so hard for you believe that you belong together? You're in his embrace, and sleeping in his bed, so what more do you want?

You've always done a great job hiding your insecurities from him, and as selfish as it was, you didn't want him to realize that he could easily do better.

But what happened today during the press conference triggered all the anxieties you kept well hidden for the longest time.

One of the reporters asked him a personal question:

_ "How would an amazing person like mr Aizawa Shouta describe his ideal type? I'm sure they'd have to be special in order to deserve your attention."

_ "Of course." Was his response.

You're anything but "special" or "amazing" or "deserving of his love", and deep down you've always known it but tried to ignore it. And hearing your boyfriend confirm it with his own words made it as real as it should be.

Was this why he made sure your relationship stayed hidden from everyone but your closest friends?

The realization knocked the wind out of your lungs and suddenly, you were overwhelmed with the urge to cry.

You carefully freed yourself from his grasp, desperately trying to escape the room before he could see your tears, but just as you turned around, a strong grip held you in place.

_ "Where are you going love?" His groggy voice sounded from behind you.

_ "I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back." You answered nervously without even turning to face him.

_ "Alright but hurry back." He responded, eyes half closed.

You ran out and closed your bathroom door behind you before collapsing on the floor and allowing your tears to fall.

You couldn't tell how much time had passed before you heard a soft knock on the door.

_ "Y/n are you alright love? You've been gone for a while." He sounded genuinely worried.

You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself down.

_ "Yes I'm okay I'll be right out." You wanted to sound cheerful but failed miserably.

_ "Please open the door for me, I'm not leaving before you do."

So you hurriedly wiped your tears away and opened the door while looking at your feet, it was the only way you could think of, how else could you possibly hide your reddened face and puffy eyes?

He lifted your head up and silently stared at your face for a moment.

_ "What's going on? Why are you crying? Are you hurt somewhere? Did something happen at work today?" He bombarded you with questions and you knew the only way to quiet him down was to tell him the truth.

_ "Today at the press conference, when that reporter asked you.."

_ "Are you mad because I didn't reveal our relationship?" He misunderstood completely.

_ "No, that's not it." It was embarrassing, humiliating even, but you had to keep talking. "I'm afraid.. what if one day you find someone special and more deserving of you? What if I'm not that person?" You bit your lip to prevent yourself from whimpering as your tears kept flowing.

He pinched the bridge of his nose sighing in exasperation.

_ "What a wild imagination." He then reached out cupping your cheeks and looking straight into your eyes.

_ "You need to stop thinking about useless stuff. You know? When I gave my answer to that reporter, I had you in mind, only you, because to me you're the one. I love you brat and I always will." Your tears finally stopped as a smile took their place, and it warmed his heart to see your relieved expressions.

_ "Never forget that for a moment, you and I are stuck together, for life. Just promise me one thing, don't shoulder everything by yourself, talk to me about your worries no matter how trivial they might seem."

You nodded jumping in his arms, eyes welling up, but this time they were tears of joy.

Dabi :

_ "T..ya"

"...ya"

"Touya!" His eyes flew open as you kept calling his name, and for a moment he was disoriented until you jerked him harshly forcing him to snap his head to the side.

He opened his mouth to scold you but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw your puffy eyes and your frightened expressions. He instantly sat up and brought you to his chest urging you to speak: "Hey it's okay calm down and tell me what's going on, come on angel." But you couldn't say a word, and the only things that came out of your mouth were strangled sobs.

He gave you a minute to calm down all the while rubbing your back soothingly before asking again: "Are you ready to talk now?" He tried to look at your face but your desperate hold prevented him from doing so: "Alright, you wanna speak like that?" You nodded, still burying your face in his chest.

In all honesty, your problem wasn't a mere bad dream like he probably imagined at first, it was something else entirely. You were frightened, and not because you're dating a villain no, you couldn't care less about his infamous reputation, you were scared because you could never see yourself as one of his priorities. Your man has a cause to fight for, and that's the thing he cares about the most.

Everything else is expendable, including you.

The thought crosses your mind every single day, and every single day you chase it away. But your anxieties finally wore you out and got the best of you, and you had to share your fears with the man in question. You love him so much, to the point where you're willing to follow him to hell if he asks.

_ "I'm afraid Touya.. What if one day you decide that I'm useless, that I'm no more than a liability, and then get rid of me?" Your crying stopped, but your hiccups remained.

You felt him flinching as you spoke and for a moment you expected the worst. Were you right to be doubtful? Was he surprised you saw through him? Your heart beat painfully against your chest as your worst nightmare turned into reality. And right when you were about to give up on everything, he responded:

_ "Are you an idiot or something? Where is this coming from exactly? Have I ever made you feel unwanted?" His tone was harsh, but his touch was soothing. "Listen y/n I'm not dismissing your concerns, because I know how it feels like to be tossed to the side over and over again. But I want you to know that I'm never gonna do something like this to you because I love you." You listened to him carefully as his words both hurt and comforted you. You were relieved to know you mean more to him than you ever thought, but at the same time you hated that he had to recite some of his most painful memories. So you looked up and smiled sweetly at him: "I love you too Touya, and I'll be by your side for as long as you allow me to." You meant every word you said, and so did he.

_ "Idiot, you're still gonna pay for waking me up in the middle of the night." He smirked teasingly before planting a soft kiss on your lips.

[sweetbbyshion]

One Hour

-> Shuji Hanma x Reader (AFAB reader, no pronouns mentioned)

characters: Shuji Hanma

genre: smut

summary: you should know better than to make those type of jokes in front of your boyfriend.

warnings: NSFW, established relationship, fingering, use of pet names (baby, darling), fluff towards the end with mentions of aftercare, very small drabble

"Baby, watch this tiktok."

You’re laying on the couch, your head resting on your boyfriend’s lap. Hanma is scrolling through his own phone but sets it aside when you raise your phone to his eye level, almost smashing it on his face. A random girl states that the record for the most female orgasms in one hour is a hundred and thirty four. It's just a random fact and you're happily laughing while rewatching it, asking yourself how it is possible. There is no way someone could come that much in such a short period of time.

“We should definitely try it, Shu. I bet we could break the record.”

Hanma knows it's just a joke, his pretty baby couldn't handle four orgasms without becoming a sobbing mess, squirming away from his evil fingers. There's no way you could handle going past ten. Still, Hanma doesn't miss a chance to tease and break you. He takes your phone from your hand and locks it. At that point, you know you're fucked and regret making the joke. His eyes have a wicked shine and you quickly try to run away but you're stopped by his hand holding your wrist.

“Sit on my lap darling.”

You don't think twice before straddling his lap, hands on his shoulders to keep balance. You know better than to disrespect your boyfriend. If he tells you to sit, you will do it without a second thought. Hanma sets your phone aside and unlocks his own before opening the clock app and setting a one hour timer. Hanma grabs the hem of your (his) shirt and holds it at the level of your mouth, silently asking you to open your mouth and close it after he puts the shirt between your teeth. You roll your eyes when Hanma dramatically rips your panties and he chuckles before saying he will buy you new ones. You will hold him to that and make sure you choose the most expensive ones. After all, you deserve it.

Hanma starts rolling your clit between his fingers as he starts the clock. You can only pray that one hour goes by fast and he gives up. You're yearning for the aftercare and the way he’s going to hold you in his arms and praise you for trying.

After the fourth orgasm, as he predicted, you're sobbing and squirming away, begging him to stop and that you can't do it anymore. You haven't used your safeword so Hanma pays no attention to it and keeps using his fingers, mouth occupied with one of your nipples. He manages to rip five more orgasms out of you before the sound of the alarm rings. At some point, Hanma laid you on the couch. You're dripping down your thighs, bite marks all over your chest and neck. The tears stopped falling at some point but your cheeks are still wet. You're at the verge of falling asleep and can barely feel Hanma’s touches. He picks you up, a hand softly pushing your head to rest on his shoulder. You don't know how he, so easily, went up the stairs and you're sure you fell asleep for a bit along the way but you wake up again with his voice calling your name.

Like you expected, the aftercare is heavenly. Hanma helps you shower, carefully cleaning your whole body while, from time to time, flicking your forehead when you are about to fall asleep. He wraps a fluffy towel around you, drying the water, placing small kisses on your forehead after you kept whining about all the flicking.

If you ever told someone Hanma Shuji was this soft and lovable, no one would believe you. Even Hanma would deny it until the day he died. Still, it's good to have these little moments with him where he just showers you with all of his love.

“You ok? I didn't push you too much, did I?”

“I’m ok Shu. Don't worry.”

“We didn't break the record though.” you hold back the need to roll your eyes. “We’ll try again some other day.”

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