#I fuckin love yoshi

[sexynetra]

rawnsyf marcia , luxx , sugar and jax playing Mario kart/party together at sleepovers

YES, IVE GIVEN THEM CHARACTERS, Marcia chooses peach , luxx chooses Rosalina , jax chooses daisy and sugar chooses toad

Your character choices for them are all 100% but as a certified yoshi girlie… I’m missing my baby.

When they get their shit together and Anetra joins the group, she gets to be yoshi, the king amongst men of Mario characters :)

[birdantlers]

tfw nintendo narrator man is explaining yoshis when you had a life consuming yoshi special interest in the 4th/ 5th grade:

[wingsofhcpe]

just watched shogun episode 7 with my mum and I feel so bad that I burst out laughing at the ending where Toranaga's son tries to kill the baddie but slips falls cracks his head and dies like... MY GUY YOU HAD ONE JOB-

[retro-system]

oh the next wave comes out next week yippeeee!!!!

[worstvideogamesong-poll]

Worst Video Game Song Tournament - Round 2 Match 13

NLA (Night) - Xenoblade Chronicles X

VERSUS

I Love Beijing Tiananmen - Hong Kong 97

FIGHT!

I would recommend listening to as much as you can of each song before voting, but how you choose is up to you! Remember to be civil in the tags and replies!

Propaganda under cut:

NLA (Night):

(in reference to its previous match) "#anyways so i am voting NLA and also NLA is breaking my SOUL #it did the fucking yoshi clan thing where it had SUCH a banger backing track (those STRINGS) but covered them up with one of the worst #samples in the world #UH HYEAH #wow. its so bad. its impressive and also tragic"

"#[NLA (Night)] just makes me want to not play Xenoblade even more than I already wanted to not play Xenoblade"

"#the guitar in nla sounds like it belongs to a different better band"

"#it is nla night 100% #uh uh yeah for like 12 minutes while you run around nla"

"#i can see what theyre going for in the xenoblade one#but it would have been a perfectly servicable xenoblade song without someone going uhn yeah over it"

"#VOTE NLA NIGHT ITS SO AWFUL #NLA NIGHT MY BELOVED"

"#NLA Night jumpscared me wtf #after listening to it for a bit it's not bad it's just... extremely jarring as a Xenobladr song #the song title implies it's an area theme too? bc of the '(night)' #....i hope it at least makes sense in context #still need to play Xenoblade X"

"#xenoblade x has some great music #this is not one of those songs"

I Love Beijing Tiananmen:

"It's a 6 second loop of SNES quality voice recording that plays endlessly. Deliberately bad."

(in reference to its previous match) "#now whether it was bad or not it didn't have a chance against the BEAST that is i love beijing tiananmen #god i love these 7 second loops. just so little effort. something kinda fun ruined by being repeated 5000 times in 2 minutes. wait holy shi #ok post cancelled this was gonna be about how ive conditioned myself to like this song and could listen to it for 10 mintues if i tried but #i just looked up the game and it was apparently made in 2 days as a satire and this song was created from a clip off a LaserDisc the dev #got second hand. thats actually fuckin incredible. holy shit i love this. i mean objectively its the worse song but can i take back my vote #just cause the story behind it fuckin ROCKS???"

"#my heartbeat is more varied than i love beijing tiananmen #and i'm fairly healthy"

"#LETSGOOO HAPPYSOFT"

"#NOT THE HONG KONG 97 SONG"

Feel free to add more propaganda in the tags and replies, or send it to me in the ask box and I'll try to share it as soon as I can!

[hollowtones]

what's your favorite team name from mario superstar baseball on the gamecube

Fuckin' loved this game as a kid. I don't remember ANY of the team names. I think my favourite technique was to field as many of the slow, heavy characters as I could while making them hate each other as little as possible, and then I'd field, like, Yoshi and some moles or something in the outfields to run that shit on the other team. I don't remember if it was particularly effective. My friends mostly wanted to play Toy Field mode, haha.

[projectyayhem]

Streaming Hiatus Announcement Update (06/15/2024)

Hey folks! Been really busy lately with a lot of stuff, and with that comes stress, and with stress comes a bad time to stream, so I'm gonna be taking a little break from streaming. Should be back in a couple weeks, but in the meantime, episodes will be going up regularly still! Like these ones!

Everyone loves bees! Or at least, they better. They ought to. Bees are great!

Yoshi's Story was a really fuckin' good game, right? I played the hell out of that. Anyway this episode vaguely reminded me of that game, which was great

I was gonna make a joke about someone looking vaguely like a bandit and that gives you free reign to kill them, then I realized that just makes me sound like a cop. Oh god what is this game doing to me

[monsters-conquer-the-world]

Mario Kart 8 - Booster Course Pack Wave 6 Speculation/Obsessing

I've always loved the Mario Kart games, but for my money Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is the new gold standard for the entire kart-racing genre. It just FEELS SO GOOD to drive these goofy little contraptions around and blow up your friends in psychedelic cartoon worlds.

Booster Course Pack Wave 5 just dropped this week and I'm loving this shit. Squeaky Clean Sprint?! KAMEK?!

This unholy union?!

Of course as awesome as this stuff is, I can't help but think about that one last wave of goodies we're getting at the end of the year. At the very least we know we're getting two new drivers and 8 new-old courses (with 1 or 2 possibly being brand new), but at this point Nintendo hasn't announced any specifics.

It's fun to guess and speculate though! Since we're only guaranteed 2 new drivers (and there's a smaller pool to pull from), I started there.

Prior to the Booster Course Packs adding Birdo, Kamek, Wiggler, and Petey Piranha (all drivers who have appeared in previous MKs), Nintendo added guest characters from non-Mario series like Link, Splatoon Girl, and Isabelle. While it's POSSIBLE they could hit us with someone brand new and/or from a different series, I'm thinking it's more likely they'll pull these last 2 drivers from the existing Kartiverse.

With that in mind, here are the standout possibilities from previous Karts:

DIDDY KONG in Double-Dash!!, Wii, Tour Iconic sidekick/costar of Donkey Kong Country series, and three-time karter (not to mention headlining his OWN kart games). On one hand it's fuckin' crazy to me that he's not already in here, but on the other hand if I can only pick one more Kong, I'd rather have Funky or Dixie 😬sorry didds

HAMMER BRO in Tour I like Hammer Bros, I've always thought of them as Bowser's elite goon squad--hammers hurt and their helmets are dope. On the flipside we already have Koopa-Troopa, Lakitu, Dry Bones, and Kamek, plus 9 Bowser-flavored Koopas. We might already be over koopacity.

MONTY MOLE in Tour This is some goofy left-field shit that I am absolutely into. Not my first choice, but funny, cute and strange enough to be worth it. He a mole driving a car

PEACHETTE in Tour So even though this looks exactly like Peach in a slightly goofier outfit, it's actually Toadette in a powered-up form from New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe.. Identity theft is a crime, Toadette.

PAULINE in Tour Mario's original damsel in distress, Pauline debuted way back on the original Donkey Kong arcade cabinet, but also had a major role in Super Mario Odyssey on the Switch (plus a bunch of handheld DK games in-between). Glamorous singing mayor-lady, cool! Why the fuck not! We better get a New Donk City track if she's added tho

KITSUNE LUIGI in Tour Look I know I gave Peachette a lot of shit for being an obscure power-up (this one hailing from Super Mario 3D Land and World), but at least we can tell this is still Luigi! Plus it'd complement Tanooki Mario and Cat Peach REAL nice. Let me have this. Luigi needs a win. It's not a furry thing (not that there's anything wrong with that!).

POOCHY in Tour This fuckin' guy. I still have acid flashbacks to his levels in Yoshi's Island. Still tho, big ol' dog-thing driving car is hilarious, I'd sign off on his goofy ass

FUNKY KONG in Wii, Tour Finally, another prospect with more than Tour on his Karting resume. Funky Kong fuckin' rules. DKC's resident gearhead, party animal, and big lovable himbo dumbass, this dude gotta come back. Non-negotiable. HE WEARS JORTS... WITH A BELT

DIXIE KONG in Tour The other coolest Kong. Probably technically cooler than Funky. It'd be crazy if both new characters were Kongs, but if they were Funky and Dixie I would shit my pants with joy. Dixie's badass.

NABBIT in Tour This would make sense, but I would also be like "sure why not." Shitty little thieving rabbit-man is fine. Is anyone clamoring for this? No judgement, just curiosity. I got kind of sick of the New Super Mario Bros. series, but I don't speak for the whole fuckin' world.

KING BOB-OMB in Tour HAHAHA YES!!! BIG DUMB ORB MUSTACHE CROWN MAN. I also lost my shit when he showed up in the Mario movie. If B-list bosses like Petey Piranha and King Boo get to drive, let this big fancy idiot. He probably accidentally explodes like a dingaling when he doesn't win.

MEOWSER in Tour Like Kitsune Luigi, this would be a nice complement to Tanooki Mario and Cat Peach, but we already have Bowser Classic, Jr., Dry, and his 7 delightful little punkass shithead kids. Meowser does benefit from reminding me of Kintaro, from my OTHER favorite game series with the initials "MK":

CHARGIN' CHUCK in Tour A different listicle already mentioned his fucking awesome-ass burger'n'fries mobile being the best part of him. I'm trying not to accidentally rip off that listicle COMPLETELY, but I might have. Sorry. I think it was on Hard Times/Hard Drive? CC's beefiness and sporty theming could save him from being another face in the Koopa Krowd, but he's not my first draft pick.

CAPTAIN TOAD in Tour I'm all over the place on this one. El Capitano has his own spin-off games--that's pretty legit! But he's just Toad with some different clothes on... but so is Metal Mario and Cat Peach! Do we need a third Toad? If he's a higher weight class because of his gear, then maybe!

HONEY QUEEN in MK7 Aww, remember Super Mario Galaxy?! I like when lady-characters get to be something besides "skinny human princess." If fricking Petey Piranha can race again, so can this big ol' bee!

PARATROOPA in MKDD!! Ah, our millionth Koopa! Jokes aside, since Paratroopa has ONLY been in Double Dash!! (the one where every driver needed an obvious partner), I bet he's a major longshot. Kamek, Wiggler, and Petey Piranha were all in Tour, so I'm inclined to think Nintendo will be pulling from the Tour roster. But who the hell knows! Here are some other (unlikely) prospects.

R.O.B. in MKDS Between this and his playable debut in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, R.O.B., the (in)famous robot peripheral for the NES/Famicom, was having a little moment in the 2000s. A wave of 1980s nostalgia or a 20th anniversary celebration, maybe? I'm not expecting him to come back again after almost ANOTHER 20 years (Jesus Christ), but I love his kart that makes it look like he has little legs.

PAC-MAN AND OTHER WEIRDOS FROM THE ARCADE COLLABORATION WITH NAMCO in Mario Kart Arcade GP, Arcade GP2, and Arcade GP DX Again, non-Tour to me says longshot, but fuck it would be weird and cool to play as Ms. Pac-Man. Blinky the ghost, one of the Tamagotchis and a happy little arcade drum also made the cut!

Mametchi aka The Cooler Nabbit.

OK he's actually a BIG, SASSY cartoon drum. Still cute. Crazy that the Prince from the Katamari games wasn't playable in these, IMO he'd be perfect and have a deliciously funky, knobby kartamari.

Click here to vote for your fave!

[yourthirdparent]

free space WHAT WIP WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT MOST OR WHAT SPECIFIC THING ABOUT ONE OF THEM R YOU SUPER HYPED TO TALK ABOUT GO !!!!!!

i'm just gonna say a little bit about each of them for this ehhehehehe

to daffodils is my BABY to daffodils is my pride and joy to daffodils is the only thing i care about in the WORLD and i have not touched it in several months. it's still my fuckin baby though don't care. i love thinking about the tbm time loop i love thinking about jason dying over and over again and nobody he loves being able to stop it. quick fun fact Apollo isn't rewinding time on his own. do with that what you will. oh also nico is experiencing the loop too so he just keeps reliving the day up until jason dies and he can't stop it and apollo won't stop it. so

the fire is hot is the original jasontristan rumour fic!! the plot is just. jason and tristan are spotted together. they Aren't a couple but people Think they're a couple. tristan panicking because jason is sixteen ensues. not a ship fic but it is the fic that made me obsess over trason and where would i be today without that obsession

stare us down is really fuckin old. like from when i first picked up writing again old.

father figure unlocked was originally written on paper !! i miss it tbh i never even got to the good part

I WON'T SAY SHE EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO OH MY GOD it's named after a line from yoshi's island by glass beach and it's Another transfem jason fic and in this one she's getting her makeup done by piper THAT'S RIGHT JASIPER MAKEUP FIC i miss it. i promised to post this one for adam ages ago but idk if it's got a good enough ending yet LMAOOOO

tristan cooking breakfast is sooooo self indulgent. obsessed with the duo obsessed with them mentally ill about them in every way every day. like half of it is just tristan explaining the concept of transness LMAO

love is no guess. ough. tbh my favourite part of this fic is that i started writing it at all LMAOOOO

funny enough i actually started writing head over heels before any of the rest of love is no guess

LIZARD MAGIC CHAPTER NAMED AFTER BMC FIC WEIRD SCIENCE best part of this fic is one it's lizard magic and lizard magic is great and two WEIRD SCIENCE REFERENCE i miss that fic

a boy with too much power was originally supposed to get more into the trio and THE CURSE but sadly i got bored 💔

the urge ! named after just the first thing that came to mind when i opened the doc

Untitled document is secretly kuaitomas but shhhh it's before anything happens. anyways cut to liu kang calling a thirteen year old kuai liang a slur

ty for all your asks!!! and ofc thanks to everyone who sent in asks i appreciate you all <3<3<3

[nightsidewrestling]

D.U.D.E: Moments - Part 4 - The Meeting (Set in 2020)

Tags: @piratewithvigor @tantamount-treason @thedollmaker16 @janetreader

This takes place during Part 2, after Eddie texts Kirby, extends into Part 3.

Also, Kirby is still Orange. Italics are inner thoughts.

Eddie's P.O.V:

He had talked Moxley into dropping him off at the meeting place, checking out of his hotel room and takin his bags with him. Something in the back of his mind had convinced him to leave, trying to make him run but also desperately wanting him to take Her with him.

"You didn't tell me what flavour you wanted so I went with strawberry."

Her voice alone was enough to make him want to smile, especially when she's calm and not sobbing or screaming. Decent choice, damn you look pretty in this light, "I wanted to see what you'd choose." In all honesty he had forgotten to actually think before sending her a text back, "These fries for me?"

"Yeah, I don't know what you like so I hope it's okay."

If I'm with you, Hell, I'd eat anything you bought me, "More than okay," Now comes the make-or-break question, how do you respond to smokers, "you don't mind if I smoke?" He asks, already lighting up the cigarette.

"I'm more than okay with it, I've been around smokers my whole life."

Eddie raises an eyebrow, she didn't smell like cigarettes, and she hadn't seemed like the type who had even seen a cigarette before last night in the hotel, she was too innocent, too gentle for that to be real. "Really, do ya parents smoke?"

"No, my uncles do. All seven of them, Many of my cousins do too."

Okay, now she's fuckin' wit' me, she's gotta be, that's a fuckin' lie an' I'm fuckin' callin' her on it, "Big family?"

She scrolls through her phone before showing Eddie a photo of her and her family and the many, many people she's related to, "The Rhydderch clan, owners of C.R.C and trainers to many."

Holy shit, she wasn't lyin', that's a lot of people, "Jesus H, you have a big family, are those two ya parents?" Please say yes, 'cause I don't wanna guess who in this photo is if it ain't them.

"The two on the left, yeah, needless to say neither of them were expecting me to be a giant."

"Any brothers or sisters? Nieces, nephew?" Anyone who might kick my ass if I flirt wit' ya?

"Nope, just me, Mam and Da."

"Any boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé?" Anyone who'll really kick my ass if i flirt wit' ya?

"That's very forward of you, Eddie."

Shit, act casual, cover up the flirting dumbass, "I just ant to know if there's anyone, other than the girls and Damien," who I will kill if ya let me, "in your life."

"Nope, as far as I'm concerned, I'm by myself."

Eddie nods as he leans back, breathing out a cloud of smoke as he looks at her. I think you're so fuckin' pretty, I wanna make you happy and I wanna make you my girl. I don't just wanna fuck ya, I wanna love you, romance ya, fuck it, I'll marry your fine ass, If you'll be mine forever I would die happy.

"I have… had friends, back home, T.J, Mike and Yoshi. Haven't spoken to them since I left Wales, though, two years ago." She mutters.

"You have me," he smiles softly, before realizing how the words sound, "and Mox, if you need us, I'm always a text or phone call away if you need me."

"You'll protect me?" She cocks an eyebrow as she jokes.

"Yeah. Sure on TV we're at war right now, but now I know what your 'Boss' is like, and he's an asshole by the way," Eddie grins, "I'm gonna keep you safe whether you like it or not."

"Don't be an ass, Eddie." She chuckles, her laugh making Eddie fall further for her.

He sticks his tongue out to make her laugh a little longer before deciding to tell her why he's got his bags with him.

"You're stuck with me today, kid, so you better get used to this asshole." He winks, upping his more flirtatious behaviour and expecting her to call him on it, but she doesn't.

"I'm stuck with you." Her smile drops, replaced with what he assumes is concern, "As in Mox dropped you off so you'll be with me all day?"

"Exactly, so put up and shut up." I know you ain't concerned for me, so why that look, "Where's your car anyway? We can talk and drive, get you to relax around me, too."

Eddie smokes as they walk to her car, glancing at her and smiling when his eyes connect with hers. He finishes his cigarette and disposes of it properly, knowing that she's watching him. A wave of nostalgia hits Eddie when Kirby turns the car on and her music starts playing. House of Pain, Irish-American Rap from New York, from 1990s New York.

"Oh man," He sighs happily, "you listen to House of Pain?"

"Yeah, why? Do you want me to turn it off?"

"Nah, how do I turn it up?" And which button is the volume, not that one, nope, no… she's staring at me, I should've waited for an answer.

[jvten]

a little more about Makhran (ft. Jayn) because uhh. im obsessed.

i referred to him as battle-worn but that makes him sound super old and grumpy. he's not. he's like in his late 30s early 40s

and he's not even grumpy. he's actually a super chill dude LMAO he's fun-loving and likes to goof off and mess around with Jayn

he's British/Irish, meaning some part of his story/backstory will have to reflect on Britain's colonisation on Ireland?? (although that was before Queen Victoria's rule, and my version of her actually tries to campaign and pay recompense for the previous rulers' bullshit)

never really started a family. he fell in love once and that was with Jayn's mom-but-not-really Michelle (yeah it's... it's complicated LMAOOO idk anymore man, Michelle just finds a way to be everywhere ig)

he's actually so based though like he doesn't care for society's norms or whatever (cos irl 1800s was super uptight so i imagine that this fantasy version of the 1800s retains some kind of tightass norms) i mean the guy has long-ish hair, bro went "nah" at boring short hair besides he's slaying in every single way

a lot of the time he asks Jayn to spar with him LMAO- he knows she'll beat him every time but tbh he just wants to see his kid be a total badass

he doesn't even mind that she beats him every time in fights/sparring sessions, i mean he taught her the more advanced shit in swordfighting/combat so the fact that she's exceeded that makes him super fuckin proud of her <3

just a really supportive dad in general, bc when Jayn explained to him that she's pansexual he's like :0 that's awesome

there's been numerous occasions where people assumed he was Yoshi's dad. oh boy are they wrong

i guess rebelling against the antagonists in Beast Vol. 1 made him a lot more fun-loving and carefree lol, he was still that before meeting Jayn but not as much

but now because Jayn's basically his kid he's generally an open guy <3

Jayn and Makhran are the kinda duo that will accept a hug from each other at any time - this is how Jayn discovered he gives really really REALLY good hugs <333

it's to the point where sometimes they feel they can't let go of a hug from one another lolol

every time Jayn is a savage towards someone he will literally be so proud of her. and honestly this is showcased in that oneshot that's somewhere in one of my blogs...

those two just love rough-housing and tackling each other. like. love language = physical affection and that DEFINITELY includes physically fighting aka Jayn kicking his ass every time

his reaction when she immediately beats him in an arm wrestle is fucking PRICELESS BTW

like yEAH he's proud but also THE FUCK?? lmao

TLDR; Makhran = dilf

[hikari-ni-naritai]

Really enjoying your fishing escapades!! Im still working on a few, not to mention Ocean fishing.... Hope you'll have better luck with some than I though, especially Floating Boulder, Charibenet, Ruby Dragon and god damn Lancetfish that thing is an asshole. I get Moby Dick now. Anyhow good luck with your fishing!!!! <3

i tend to have really good luck most of the time so im sure itll go fine! though ive heard fuckin HORROR stories about some of these fuckers. triple mooch fish in like tiny time windows are nightmarish. ive only had to do like, one of those, but i had to do it a fair few times bc i was trying to desynth for a swimsuit top lmao. i havent made it too far in my fishing quest, ive been going down the fishing log in order basically, so ive cleared limsa and middle/lower la noscea. eastern la noscea ive done a bunch of them but now im waiting on rain for like 2-3 spots, fog for one (FUCK that crab ive had him on the line like 8 times but he gets free every time), and one for clear skies after rain, and then western la noscea im waiting on a 3 hour mooch window and . something weather and time based? idr what the details are.

but its fun! fishing is good and i REALLY love the tool they gave us in endwalker where if youve caught 5 big fish, you can spend your big fish points to mooch with shitty small fish for 2 minutes. im no longer beholden to the wretched GP sink of the . whatever that is. patience 2? idr. trying to catch shit with fish eyes sucks still and theres no point even trying if youve gotta mooch it. but its a nice little challenge. i also think the fisher's intuition mechanic is cool. im looking forward to getting into the expansion zones later on! skyfishing and lavafishing and saltfishing and voidfishing its like a dream i love it. so many fucked up fish!

my number 1 most desired thing (after 100 glamour plates obv) is a Fucking Tacklebox oh my god. i hate carrying around 30 baits. thats so much inventory space. let me just put them in a box and get them out whenever i need them. please yoshi p im fucking begging you. im on my hands and knees.

anyway this will be nice i think, in my house design theres spots for fish prints, so i am thinking ill collect a bunch of rare fish and print them onto canvases to put in my house. nepto dragon is gonna be there for sure. the others i may rotate out as i collect more rare bitches. im saving nepto dragon for the fishing quest tho first, bc i want to get that out of my log. its a point of pride. i havent caught any of the other fish and i know hes the last one but. im keeping him for that.

incidentally i couldve swore id caught one before but i just earlier got the tutorial notification for when you catch a fish that requires a weather type that follows another weather type. so i guess that was the first one id done lmao. god i have been talking a lot about fishing. im glad youre enjoying my fishing adventures i will be sure to keep you updated! <3

[merriclo]

I don't know yuore oc names uuuhh. does mario kart exist in your world. if it did who wld yr characters main

AHAJDKKA THANK YOU FOR ASKING <3

so the OCs i mainly refer to on this blog are my hero’s call au characters so, tragically, mario kart would not exist in their world :( BUT this is such a funny question that i’m answering it anyway. modern au time bitch. answers below the cut bc damn that’s a lot of guys

going with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe here because that was what first came up when i googled Mario Kart :)

Hero: Luigi. god bless this man he does not know anything about the Mario franchise outside of the first few Mario games. he chose Luigi over Mario because he likes green more than red. (plus he asked Spirit if that was a good choice and she said he was fine so)

Loft: Yoshi. he likes the look of him and he always felt really bad for dropping him into the abyss when playing Mario as a kid so this is a sort of apology

Minish: Toad. they can do a perfect impression of Toad and is not afraid to use it to terrify people.

Prism: either Dry Bowser or Princess Daisy. listen okay this guy is an elite gamer and also a huge fucking nerd, so obviously he’s crunched the numbers; he also really likes Game Theory and watched that one video where MatPat claimed that Dry Bowser (and a specific kart build that i don’t remember) was the fastest. bUt he’s also kind and hates absolutely obliterating his friends every single time, so he tones it down and chooses Princess Daisy (her specifically because his fiancée, Zelda, loves Daisy. if it weren’t for her he’d be Villager Male.)

Mask: Shy Guy. little guy with mask 🤝 little guy with mask.

Oracle: Bowser. this bitch is here to win, but, unlike Prism, he doesn’t have the time to crunch the numbers. so he just.. googled what the best build is and goes with that

Lorule: Birdo. trans rep.

Traveler: Waluigi. he’s obnoxious as hell what else do you expect of it.

Wolf: it’s between Cat Peach and Donkey Kong. HE’S A FURRY he loves both cats and monkeys, but he chooses Cat Peach a little bit more often because he’s also a #feminist

Red: Isabelle. Red is an Animal Crossing player at his core. plus he also loves dogs very much

Green: Dry Bowser. this man is a strategist at heart, he’s gonna do his research and perform as best as he can. though he’s a little embarrassed about how much effort he’s put in to Mario Kart

Blue: Bowser. it’s the exact same story as Oracle: she’s here to fucking win. bUt she isn’t an absolute loser and so just quickly googles who the best is and goes with it. tragically, she’s horrible at video games and loses almost every single time.

Vio: King Boo. she is a huge fuckin nerd, but just not in the video game way. she has no damn clue who to choose, and ends up picking King Boo because ghosts are fun, and definitely not because Shadow mained King Boo. definitely not that at all—

Wind: Inkling Girl. this guy is pretty good at all games, with the single exception of racing games. so, when it comes to Mario Kart, he relies on the wisdom of his little sister, Aryll, who consistently mops the floor with him whenever they play. she mains Inkling Girl, and he hopes and prays that that’ll let him at least not come in at dead last.

Spirit: Dry Bowser and Princess Peach. yet another person who’s a complete and utter nerd. i’ve mentioned this before, but Spirit loves optimization. she’s an engineer, she’s gonna figure out the best combinations and she’s gonna figure them out fast. but, just like Prism, she’s actually nice and doesn’t want to straight up obliterate everyone she plays with, so Princess Peach. (ngl i was tempted to say Birdo again because trans rep but Spirit is such a Princess Peach girlie.)

Ages: Mario. while Ages is also a huge strategy guy, he’s not really a fan of competitive games. give him a pokémon game and he’ll do fantastic, but a racing game?? ehh…. truth be told, he mostly plays story driven games, so he’s very lost in a competitive setting. same story as Hero, really, lmao. they both go for the ole reliables.

Wild: Toad. she saw a little dude with a fat ass mushroom hat and immediately decided to main him. oh and he can also do a perfect impression of Toad. do not leave them and Minish in the same room together or else they will both lose their voices from talking like Toad for hours.

Champion: Wendy O. Koopa. this man(?) is an enigma, no one knows why. he probably doesn’t either.

Rhythm: Waluigi. he’s a middle school band kid for fuck’s sake, of course he’s gonna choose fucking Waluigi.

sorry for any and all typos and tense changes, and thank you again for this question Strawb <3 it’s very fun i had a blast answering it, even if i had to google a lot since i rarely ever play Mario Kart lmao

[halogalopaghost]

Okay TMNT fandom I need you guys to fuckin rally for this fic okay.

Project: Dimension X

By EddieNES on AO3

Once the Shredder assumes his old enemy, Hamato Yoshi, is dead, he shifts his focus to world domination. With the help of Dr. Baxter Stockman and Purple Dragons Bebop and Rocksteady, Shredder seeks to open a portal to the mysterious Dimension X and seize their superior weaponry for his own use. Little does he know—Yoshi still lives, and has trained a small ninja clan of his own.

This is an edgier-but-not-grimdark version of the turtles where the main difference is that the injuries are realistic, and the turts aren't afraid to fuck up anyone that messes with an innocent. So basically...like the original comics.

It's written in a sort of movie script format, which is understandably not everyone's cup of tea, but holy shit is the story worth it!! Not to mention it's more than 70k and definitely enough material for an entire season of a TV show. Did I mention that the humor is impeccable and the brothers all get along and actually act like they love each other? What about the whump, did I mention the whump?

The reason I'm mega-boosting it is bc the author posted it 2 years ago with absolutely zero AO3 knowledge and it seriously tanked. It deserves way more engagement than it got, and tbfh I wanna see some fan art for it on my desk by Monday morning.

[officialkris]

Tags

Verses and AUs

Hometown [ deltarune verse ] - General rp, lightworld, default tag

Wait why am I blue [ darkworld verse ] - General rp, darkworld (can't be pregame)

Bit chilly in here?? [ snowgrave/weird route ] - Snowgrave related rp

Where the fuck am I?? [ AUs ] - AU rp

Minecrap [ shitpost ] - Other people's shitpost/joke rp

IC tags

Lvl 1 Moss Finder [ pre-game Kris ] - Self explanatory, default tag

Lvl 2 Moss Finder [ in-game Kris ] - Self explanatory

Lvl 3 Moss Finder [ post-game Kris ] - Self explanatory

[[ ic ]] - In character

Other characters

Yoshi enjoyer [ Asriel ]

Goat mom [ Toriel ]

Flower king [ Asgore ]

Girl next door [ Noelle ]

Smells like frozen mcnuggets [ Berdly ]

Why he ouple [ Susie ]

IS THAT MY FUCKING FURSONA??!! [ Ralsei ]

Fuckin child [ Lancer ]

*points at u* Goth [ Catti ]

FOR THE LOVE OF ANGEL stop with the puns PLEASE [ Sans ]

You let your child hit me with a bat [ Rudy ]

I'm scared of clowns, clowns [ Jevil ]

How are you THAT small [ Spamton ]

TALL WOMEN [ Queen ]

Thou art gayeth [ Rouxls Kaard ]

anybody else will just be tagged with their name

Relationship tags (none romantic)

I think I have allergies [ Dreemurr family ]

Deck the halls with bows of holly [ Holiday family ]

I want to bite them (affectionate) [ Friends ]

I want to bite them (derogatory) [ Rivals/Enemies ]

OOC

[[ ooc ]] - Out of character

[[ ask box ]] - asks

[[ about this blog ]] - self explanatory

[[ rules ]] - ask and rp rules

[[ tags ]] - tags and verses

[[ updates ]] - blog updates

[[ okay to reblog ]] - self explanatory

[[ don't reblog ]] - self explanatory

IC / OOC

[[ you lick the page. it's delicious!! ]] - my art/textposts

[[ this must be what they meant by flavour text ]] - my shitposts, follows previous

[phantom-ellie]

old desk, new tricks

Click here for CWs/Full Chapter List

OFMD Kinktober 2022 Prompt 4: Desk Sex/Dirty Talk

Stede buys a new desk. What should they do with it?

Part of Series Our Flag Means Stupid Bad Sex: For Kinktober 2022, my attempt to portray each kink prompt in the most unsexy manner possible. If anything in here manages to turn you on, you are a special snowflake and I salute you on your unique life path.

There comes a time in every man's life when he needs to replace his cabin desk with an even larger, more expensive desk.

It's nothing personal, Stede tells his old desk, the one he'd originally gotten to replace his even more original desk, which Ed had unreasonably thrown into the ocean despite being completely unprovoked.

He doesn't literally tell his desk that, because Stede doesn't talk to furniture, unlike some people.

"Here you are, big girl!" Ed says to Stede's New Desk as he carries it into the room with the help of Wee John and Frenchie.

"Don't feel bad, old desk, just think of it as a promotion!" Frenchie attempts to soothe Old Desk's hurt feelings.

"It can't hear you, it doesn't have ears!" Stede says bitchily as they advance towards him.

"Where do you want it, love?" Ed huffs.

"Exactly the same place as the old one, please!" Stede points his hand to where the old desk is still sitting, because no one thought to move it ahead of time, because everyone on the Revenge is a stupid fucking dork.

The men set the desk down and Ed ponders for a minute. There isn't any room to move Old Desk out with New Desk already in the room, they won't fit next to each other. But he has an idea.

"What if we pick the old desk up and lift it over the new desk and out the door?"

Stede smiles his stupid fucking dork smile that makes Ed want to ride his crotch like Yoshi on Rainbow Road.

"That's brilliant, Ed!" Stede truly and honestly believes that every idea Ed has ever had is brilliant, unless the idea doesn't work out, in which case Stede truly and honestly always knew it wouldn't work.

And so the four of them each grab a leg of Old Desk and hoist it up, lifting it over New Desk. It goes great.

For about four seconds. When the desk has completed half of its journey, Frenchie and Stede both feel their muscles giving out and once and set their end down on the floor.

"Hey, what are you doing, we're lifting that!" Ed protests. Two of the Old Desk's legs are on the floor, the rest of the desk leaning on top New Desk.

"These hands aren't made for labor," Frenchie says, holding his hands up, then looking at Stede like, 'what's your excuse?'

But that was going to be Stede's excuse, and now he doesn't have one, so he crosses his arms and huffs, blowing a blond curl out of his face.

"You know," Wee John says, standing back against the window, "They kinda look like they're fuckin' like that."

Ed starts laughing and Stede glares at him again, but secretly Stede thinks that Wee John is right, they do look like they're fucking. They look like a smaller panda going at it on a larger panda. Only pandas don't do it like that, they don't really have much sex at all, and Stede feels just awful about that and wishes he could somehow help, like maybe he could talk to the pandas, only he knows that pandas are deaf and couldn't hear him.

He sighs. "Well, what do we do now?"

Ed gets that look in his eye, that now-I'm-fucking-with-you-Stede-the-love-of-my-life-who-I-harass-and-don't-deserve look that he gets, the look Stede married him for.

"Come on, man, look at those arms. You're like a... a sexy rectangle. You can lift that end all on your own, can't you?"

"No Ed, I can't. These guns are just for show."

"Bet."

"What does that mean?"

"I bet you can! You take that end, I'll take this one." And that's when the grunting starts.

Frenchie and Wee John know better than the interfere when there's grunting, they weren't born yesterday. They don't know when they were born, but they can remember before yesterday so it wasn't then.

Frenchie nudges John with his elbow.

"Kinda hot, yeah?"

"The captains, or the desks?"

"The desks, the captains are stupid fucking dorks, you know that."

"What do you think the desks are saying to each other?"

The words "...arms I married you for..." come floating towards them as Stede attempts to lift his end of the desk, which sets it in a nice, rhythmic, rocking motion.

Frenchie thinks for a moment.

"Oh New Desk, you fucking like that, don't you? You fucking filthy whore desk. Taste my morning wood."

Wee John affects an even lower voice than normal.

"Give it to me, Old Desk, fuck me in the desk-hole like it's your last day on earth, you filthy wooden shit."

"I'll fuck the... the sap... right out of you, New Desk. You won't have any sap left after this!"

"Guys, that isn't how desks work! What's a desk hole, anyway?" Stede whines.

"Focus, mate! Lift with your sexy little legs!" Ed replies.

"Oh Old Desk, I wish we could be together. I wish this consensual sexual encounter between two large pieces of furniture would last forever!"

"Me too, New Desk, but you know me. You know my Old Desk ways. I'm a loner, New Desk. A rebel."

"If you two don't stop that, I'm going to find whoever is in charge of lowering your salary and politely ask them to do it," Stede says red-faced as he finally gets his end of Old Desk into the air.

"You're doing it, mate, look at those muscles go!" Ed laughs as they shimmy their way towards the door before setting it down.

Frenchie scratches the back of his head.

"Hey, captain? What were you going to do with Old Desk?"

Stede shrugs. "Throw it in the ocean, invite Calico Jack over to shoot it with a cannon, the ush. Why, do you want it?"

Frenchie looks at Wee John and shrugs.

"It's just... I'm feelin' kind of an attachment to it now, you know? It's been a big part of my life for the last ten minutes or so." Wee John nods in agreement.

"Where would you put it? What would you even do with it?"

Wee John cuts in. "We could put it in the hold!"

"And we could... pretend to write stuff, on it? Just to feel cool? Or we could draw."

Stede shrugs. "Ask whoever is in charge of deciding what goes in the hold."

"I don't know who that is."

Ed shrugs as well. "Make Izzy do it."

Frenchie's shoulders fall. "Izzy never lets us to anything fun in the hold, he's always busy down there."

"Okay, okay, just tell him I said you could do it!" Stede snaps. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put New Desk to the test."

Ed wiggles his eyebrows up and down. "Have you tested it for... sturdiness?"

Stede waves his hand. "No, that's later on the schedule. First we're testing proper chair-to-desk ratio, writability with one sheet of parchment, writability with multiple sheets of parchment, ability to maintain quill verticality, and then..." his voice trails off as Wee John and Frenchie move their new desk to the hold.

They spend a good ten minutes excitedly hanging around the desk before they get bored with it forever, which is good news, because any longer and Izzy think he might have thrown his back out if he had to lay there under Swede any longer.