#I fucking LOVE the 2-2-3 rhythm pattern you get in 7/8

[random-human-being2311]

sorry if I end up missing the target audience here with this post but

🤍🎵🖤💫💜✨💙🎶💚 the time signature 7/8 💚🎶💙✨💜💫🖤🎵🤍

[ahumblequeen]

DNF fanfic recs

1. suck a dick fallacy by literaphobe

-my notes: best banter and flirting ive ever read, so far all time fav dnf fic. wish there was more details during their fun tho.

2. lightning in a bottle by GenOfEve

-my notes: all ill say is this one has me throbbing.

3. we're at arm's length, so i'll reach

-my notes: george sick fic, super good lead up, super cute george.

4. let's watch our dreams become our favorite memories

-my notes: meeting for the first time and george crying is so cute

5. because of you... by katervois

-my notes: we love a good ol panic attack fic

6. rhythm in tension

-my note: face down az up, im obsessed. not into other stories about them like role-play stuff

7. patterns by youresheesh

-my notes: holy fuck. the build up? the hand liking, the inner monologue, the wording... have mercy.. its still ongoing too im so hype to read more im ready

8. accelerate by isntitcrazy

-my notes: its the classic of the fandom, i feel like everyone should just give it a quick read thru; not one of my top favs tho just wanted to include it for complete-ness

9. love sick (the beat inside my head) by meridies

-my notes: such a good lead up, wish there was more foundation and bickering and flirting; end fell off a bit like not as climactic as i was hoping but this one had me kicking my feet and twirling my hair blushing and shii, superrrrr cute fluff, and yes one falling asleep on the other. we love it

10. wanna dance in socks around you by genofeve

-my notes: probably one of my fav authors. got me drenched reading this shit. something about george being desperate gets me good. oh and skirt shit

more to come ...

[maggyoutthere]

This "Everywhere At The End Of Time" thing has been showing up on my recommendations list on youtube. What even is this thing-

I mean it sounds neat. I'm like half an hour in and I like it :/ it's so nostalgic with the static and record scratches. I'm a sucker for ambient music and these sound neat

Edit:

Reached Stage 2

What is happening why is this triggering something in me. Like I can clearly tell something's wrong. You can still hear the music but the static and record scratches are louder.

I'm kinda scared though. As much as I love listening to music I can tell when something is just more than your typical summer hit or even mental health PSA. What is this-

Edit 2

K so apparently this is an album representing various stages of dementia. That's a tricky thing to do but I have faith in music. It's a great way to express stuff so I'm very curious to what this is gonna turn out like.

Edit 3

Idk if I like where this is going.

"I still feel as though I am me" broke me a little for some reason. Idk why but it just stood out differently to me. I am very very hesitant to jump some tracks to get to hear the other stages still today. Most of these tracks transmit the same idea but I didn't want to leave out anything.

Also no I hate rb stuff to make those threads. Have the consecutive edits of this thing.

Edit 4

STAGE 3 YOU CAN'T JUST CUT OFF LIKE THAT WHAT THE HELL-

Little heart attack I just had aside, I'm liking it so far. It's starting to get very uneasy but I think that's the point of it. Goodness gracious Stage 3 scared the absolute crap out of me. It cut just like that. So abruptly and caught me off guard. Not even a fade out, damn.

Edit 5

I had to skip some tracks from the second half of Stage 3 and

oh no

Edit 6

Reached Stage 4

I am having some very visceral reactions to this. It is incredibly unnerving but I want to keep listening to it so much. I love how it’s not even music anymore, it’s just... noise. Lots of different noises all crumbled up together, unified by some vely loud static.

Might have to skip some bits here because all Stage 4 songs are 30 min long each.

Edit 7

MOMS COME PICK ME UP OH FUCK OH GOD NO NO NO NO

I HATE IT HERE BUT I LOVE IT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It’s so hard to put down what this is doing. I’m not even sorry for rambling just take this post for what it is idfk if people are even reading this but holy fuck.

The 30 minute ones are killing me from the inside out. I’m very sensitive to audio and sounds (probably because of autism) and this is just pulling all the levers in my brain. It’s so- i have no idea what to call it. Sensory triggering?? I guess???

Edit 8

Stage 5.

Oh... god. 

Edit 9

Reached Stage 6

This has no description, both in the video and in my head. The sheer nothingness something so loud can transmit; the void where something should be but you can't remember what. Blessed were the minutes when I was still listening to the first track; there was music at least. Now there's just this emptiness, this absolutely deafening silence.

The worst is that you know exactly what's going on.

Edit 10

Listening to the last track: Stage 6 - Place in the World fades away

Everywhere At The End Of Time is a series exploring dementia, its advancement and its totality.

I cannot put to words what an absolute masterpiece this is. To tackle such a serious mental illness like this one is already an incredibly hard thing to do; to make art out of it is risky, to make it work is nothing short of a miracle.

The Caretaker (pseudonym of the composer) is an absolute master of his craft. To use something so carefully constructed as music and sound to make sense of something that makes someone not make sense is a challenge to say the least. How do you even go about it? In music there are bound to be rhythms and leitmotifs and patterns: there is bound to be organization.

This is where EATEOT absolutely excels in. I don't know if this could be called of music but I'll surely call it of art; the genius of these tracks are in their editing rather than in their composition. The first 2 stages are pretty much just songs with static noises and record scratches layered on top. It gets the message across: there is still memory, it's just blurry, washed out. It's there but it's hard to see.

From then on out, everything changes. Stage 3 keeps the background noise going, now repeating certain parts of the songs or even reverberating them. The memories themselves are starting to change, not just getting difficult to access. Stage 4 sees the absolute fear and horror of realizing such thing is happening. The grasping at anything in pure terror of forgetting everything. There is no such thing as music now. It's unnerving, it's uneasing, and rightfully so. This does not sugarcoat things and I personally like that.

Stage 5 hits us with a certain calmness after the storm. Things aren't better of course, they're just quieter. Memories are starting to dissapear completely and now there is mostly only the background noises.

Then comes Stage 6. It's desolated, it's deserted, it's nothing. It's gut wrenching. I'd like to touch on the last song because I particularly liked this one. "Place in the World fades away" is, in my opinion, divided into 2 parts. In the 1st half you have static and noise. There is nothing in there. The occasional crescendo almost scares you because of how hollow the mind seems to be at this point, but it leads nowhere. Then there's the 2nd half. You start to hear music. Actual music this time. A choir of voices, still echoing from somewhere else remind you of how it first started: with the music. It puts things into perspective and signals you towards the first of this 6-part series, how far we've come. Then, as if telling what must be told, the music fades away, leaving you with a whole minute of absolute silence. No static, no record scratches, literally a whole minute of dead silence.

I found myself continuously going back to this tumblr post and to the comment section of the video; I didn't want to feel like I was experiencing this alone, and I was glad to see people in the comment section helping eachother out, talking and venting, so that was heartwarming.

I know I'm not usually very serious about things but I wanted to try and do it for this absolute magnum opus. I like to critique stuff as much as the next guy, but to be able to analyze something like this is unique. If you want something to challenge you emotionally, something to make you think and reflect on things, this is an absolute must.

Tl;dr: Everywhere At The End Of Time is a haunting representation of dementia, both in its advancement and in its totality. It's really profound and definitely worth a try if you have some free hours.

[mmvalentine]

The Bargain pt 11 | Feysand

Modern AU. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10. Just a little more smut, yeah?

Rhys woke up early and traced patterns lightly on Feyre’s skin as she slept.

They had just one more day together before he flew home to New York, but in the pale dawn light and with Feyre’s even breaths beneath his fingers, he couldn’t for the life of him think of why he needed to go back.

After a moment, Feyre stirred.

“Making me more tattoos, are you?” she mumbled, without opening her eyes. Rhys chuckled. “Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” “Why?” Feyre asked muzzily. She rolled around to face him, all smudged mascara and sleep-swollen lips. Beneath the sheets, Rhys was hard in an instant.

"Because I wanted to let you sleep." “But we only have one more day,” she said, and looked so cute when she frowned that it broke Rhys’ heart a little. He pulled her body over his, loving how soft she was all over, and kissed her nose.

"And what would you like to do with this one more day?" he asked her. Had not meant to add any suggestions of his own, but the way she was nuzzling into his chest, still waking slowly, had his hips sliding under her. Feyre's eyes widened a little, and colour bloomed on her cheeks.

"I could think of one thing," she breathed. "We don't have to-" Rhys started to say, but got cut off as Feyre put her lips on his throat. His words broke off into a stifled moan as the heat of her hovered just below his navel.

Her hands slid over his collar bones and around the back of his neck, and she was so marvelously warm on top of him. Next thing he knew, her tongue had made a blazing trail down his sternum, over his stomach, and around the head of his cock. Rhys gasped, and gripped the bars of the headboard hard enough for them to creak in protest.

When Feyre slid her mouth down over the length of him, Rhys's hips jerked forward reflexively.

"Sorry," he muttered, trying to hold still. But Feyre just moved her lips lower, letting him hit the back of her throat and sucking hard on the way back up. Rhys groaned, and the sound seemed to encourage her. She moved her head back and forth and the world shifted in and out of focus.

"That... feels amazing," Rhys told her, watching her move over his body. Feyre didn't reply, just kept up a steady rhythm until Rhys could barely stand it.

"You're going to have to slow down," he managed to get out. Feyre shook her head 'no,' and decidedly did not slow down. "Seriously," Rhys said between gritted teeth. "I'm not going to be much use you you in a second."

Feyre lifted her head long enough to say, "we don't have anymore condoms anyway," and then resumed her motion. Used her hand at the same time to cover the length of him. Rhys's hips arced up off the bed to meet her touch, and one hand moved through her hair before he realised he had reached out.

"Feyre stop I'm gonna come," he said, jaw clenched. But she showed no intention of doing any such thing. "Feyre." His control crumbled, and he started fucking hard into her mouth. She didn't pull back. "Feyre I'm gonna..." And then he was coming and she was swallowing him down and the sight of it was so unbearably sexy that his climax stretched on even after he was empty.

Feyre crawled back up his chest, kissed him with his own cum still on her tongue, and then promptly took a snooze right there on top of him like a cat. Rhys just watched her in wonder, and stroked her bare back while she slept.

Fifteen minutes later, she woke, they kissed lazily in bed and then in the shower, and then they strolled down the road to the bakery. And to the chemist.

On the way, Feyre chatted about Berlin sights she thought Rhys needed to see, iconic street art she could show him, and the best food in town. Rhys nodded along, saying very little and being content to watch Feyre animated and enthusiastic.

And he did want to do all of those things, wanted to go anywhere Feyre took him. Really, he did.

But then they got back to the hotel room, and did not manage to leave it again that day.

Did make love on the edge of the bed, fall off the side and fuck on the floor, get messy and have sex in the shower with their hands pressed up to the glass. Did cover each other's bodies in swirling patterns with black markers and ball point pens found in the hotel drawers. Did take breaks for pretzels and hot chocolate, before beginning again in the tangled white sheets with the 'do not disturb' tag hanging on the door handle outside.

They were just dozing off on the rug, Feyre in nothing but a pair of white cotton panties and black ink, Rhys completely naked, when Tarquin rang, and the sharp intrusion of the outside world in their little bubble was about as welcome to Rhys as a kick in the guts.

Feyre groaned. "Don't answer," she said, her head pillowed on Rhys' stomach. His fingers traced around her navel.

"Hello?" "Rhys! It's Tarquin. How are things over there?" "Fantastic," Rhys said. "We've finished painting and are tidying up now. I was just about to call you and tell you the good news."

Feyre took his fingers and guided them lower. She moaned softly as he pushed light circles onto her clit, over her underwear.

"You have? Wie schöne, that's wonderful news," Tarquin said. "I'll come meet you both up there."

Feyre reached out and stroked his cock while he dipped his fingers under her waistband.

"Actually," Rhys said, forcing his voice to come out evenly, "we're just leaving now. But I would still encourage you to go have a look." "Oh but I want to see it with you," Tarquin argued. "Give my thanks to you both. Shake your hands."

Rhys bit back a laugh. "Don't think you could shake out hands right now." Feyre giggled silently. "They're... covered in paint."

"Ah fair enough, but even figuratively speaking, it'd be good to see you both off." "Love to, Tarquin," Rhys said, eyeing Feyre. She was starting to arch off the floor, and little whimpers were escaping as his fingers sped up. He held a finger to his lips. "Unfortunately we actually have an engagement to get to. We're leaving the site now, and I'm going to eat something but I'll put Feyre on."

He handed the phone to Feyre, and at the same time rolled over her. Slid her underwear down and put his mouth on her pussy. She lifted her hips to him, and then mouthed Naughty, while her eyes sparkled above him.

"Hello?" she said. Breathlessly. "Oh, yes Tarquin do come have a look. It's-" here here breath hitched, "well I'm quite without words, Rhys is ve-ery skilled hmmmm I've been so glad to work with him on this project."

Rhys grinned, and reached his tongue deep inside her. Feyre clamped a hand down on the phone's speaker and bit down hard on her lip.

"No, we won't be there but I would love to... ah... to.. mm, to catch up with you later in the week. Sorry, yes I am a bit... uh... out of breath. We're carrying all the supplies back to my... umm.. my car."

Feyre swatted Rhys' head, but he just sped up his tongue on her clit.

"Doyouknowwhat, ah, Tarquin you head up there now, text me what you think and I... I'll speak to you later. Yep. Okay. Yesokaybye."

Feyre hung up the phone, threw it to one side and then moaned so loudly and deeply Rhys felt the vibration in her stomach. She wrapped her legs around his head, put her hands in her hair and pushed herself closer to him. She was hotter than anything, and then Rhys was palming his own cock while he watched writhe on the floor. It wasn't long before she was coming undone on his lips.

When she finally came, Rhys was struck with the desire to draw her, just like this, in gorgeous ecstasy and with the exact colour of the blush across her chest.

The next morning, Rhys was due to get on a plane.

They sat in Feyre's car, with Rhys' bag on the back seat, and sat outside the airport without saying a word. Eventually, Feyre said, "Do you know, I came a long way to get away from my ex, and now all I feel is homesick." "Do you now?" Rhys murmured. "I've honestly thought about moving back to New York. But I packed everything up and left. I have nothing there, I have nowhere to live."

Rhys leaned back in his seat, and grinned lazily at Feyre.

"I'll make you a bargain, Feyre darling," he said. "I'm listening," Feyre replied. "You move back to New York and you can stay with me while you look for somewhere, and then you just move out when you find a place." Feyre considered it. "That would make things easier," she agreed.

"And hey," Rhys continued. "Maybe you like living with me and you never move out." Feyre grinned right back. "Maybe you like me and we live happily ever after."

Rhys shrugged. "Anything could happen," he said. Feyre stuck her hand out.

"It's a deal," she said, and they shook on it. Rhys pulled her in by the hand and kissed her, committing to memory the exact way she tasted.

"Come home soon, then," he whispered. **** Theeeeee end! That's all lovers, thank you so, so much to everyone who has been with me on this super lovely ride. Your comments, reblogs and general love have been deeply appreciated and I am forever grateful. I am a bit sad this one is over.

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace @philosophorumaurum02 @story-scribbler @allthecolorsneverseen @asteria-of-mars

[pokeasleepingsmaug]

First Line Tag game

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors.

I tend to begin first sentences with names for some reason haha. My favorite is 18, because it really just sets the tone for that whole story so well!

I was tagged by @aadmelioraa, thank you darling <3 I'll tag @whenimaunicorn @raincityruckus @geekandbooknerd and @darkcloakedinfinitevoid

1. All That's Best of Dark and Bright, a Tam Lin-inspired Sihtric x Eahlswith AU: Eahlswith hates traveling with this rowdy, ragtag company of Danes a little less each day.

2. To Curse a King, a Sihtric x Skade dub-con knife kink crackship that you can't prove didn't happen: Skade does not flinch as the knife pierces the skin at the crook of her elbow, and she does not struggle against the firm hand holding her wrist in place.

3. Silver Hairpins, Sihtric x Eahlswith canon-compliant fluff: Sihtric was always happy to come home flush with victory, but this time he was even happier

4. The Heart of a Family, Sihtric captured and tortured by Kjartan and Sven, because this poor darling is too easy to whump: Sihtric can't remember how long it’s been since he's seen the sun, though he knows when night is because that's when Kjartan and Sven leave him alone.

5. The Weight Behind a Blessing, a one-shot exploring a bit of Sihtric's past and his blossoming bromance with Osferth: Osferth is not the first Christian to bless him for splinting an injured arm, although he is the ugliest, Sihtric thinks, smiling down at Baby Monk after he slips the sling over his head.

6. To Tame a Wildcat, a little bit of Sihtric x reader battlefield kink that I will never apologize for: There is no softness in him now, the son of a man known for his cruelty, a fierce man in his own right.

7. we keep pretending the sun will not rise, a piece that explores the entire relationship of Katy x Reilly x Jonesy, from when they're in high school until when they break up: Katy tries not to smile over her coffee cup at the two boys across the small plastic table, their arms pressed together, Reilly’s damp hair dripping onto his shoulders and Jonesy’s eyes wide and bright.

8. so fill to me the parting glass, Sihtric tries to comfort Beocca when he's mourning Thyra, and Beocca learns maybe the rat-faced Dane isn't so terrible after all: Beocca cannot even stand to look at him, the Dane boy that Uhtred keeps in his company, the son of the man who tormented his wife for years

9. Pulse of my Heart, she has been searching for Finan for years, and doesn't believe she will ever find him: It was a great sword, longer and lighter than most, designed to be wielded by a man who danced around his foes like a whirlwind give human form.

10. Blasphemy, Osferth, wounded and tired of Finan's incessant worrying, asks Sihtric to sing. Sihtric cannot sing: They were on the road somewhere in Mercia, and this was one of those times that Sihtric felt he’d ridden the entire length of this land, from Wessex to Northumbria, a dozen times over

11. To Throw Curses, a piece exploring Sihtric's childhood, that I wrote after wondering why Sihtric knew so much about curses: His mother is a good Christian woman and proud of the fact that she’s managed to maintain her faith despite her hardships, so maybe Sihtric shouldn’t be surprised when she crosses herself and leans forward to repeat the gesture over his body, too.

12. He Lacks the Courage, OC Thora x Ubbe, tons of angst, Bjorn is a jerk, but that's just who he is: The boat rocks to the motion of the small waves and the rowers’ work, the sun paints the sky in luminous pinks and oranges and the waves spark and dance with the color of flames, and usually Thora would love this but tonight it just feels like emptiness

13. To Lie Down With Wolves, Ubbe x OC Imogene, Ubbe is disgraced for betraying King Ivar long ago, and keeps the slave Imogene against his better judgment (co-written with @darkcloakedinfinitevoid!): Imogene hasn't seen a wolf since she was small, the winter the snow reached halfway up the side of her family's cottage.

14. Funeral Pyre, Sihtric returns to Dunholm, a lifetime after he's left it, and finally puts its ghosts to rest: When Sihtric sees Dunholm rearing up on its high crag, bile rises into his throat but he keeps his face impassive because his friends are watching him.

15. Fighting Lessons, Nancy Wheeler x Jonathan Byers x Steve Harrington, Steve teaches his lovers to fight in the Wheelers backyard, because none of them feel safe even though the gate is closed. Post season 1: He’s had this fear in him, ever since the cabin, that someday Nancy would be without her handgun.

16. Counting Breaths, in the dark when she can't sleep after falling into that place, the only thing that keeps Nancy sane is the rhythm of Jonathan's breath: Inhale, one.

17. Slow Hands, modern AU, Ubbe x reader, reader runs a horse sanctuary and Ubbe is her new farrier.: Finding a farrier was always such a pain, and of course as soon as the horses had gotten familiar with John, he'd thrown his back out.

18. Captured, Ivar x shieldmaiden reader hate-fucking, AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED: “Do you really think that’s going to work?”

19. First Sight, a companion piece to my longfic Feed You the Sky. Ivar and Kára reminisce on the first time they saw each other: Ivar is an old man now, his black hair streaked with gray, and the fire in his wife’s hair is dulled but still he cannot resist running his fingers through it every chance he gets.

20. Hidden Daggers, Sihtric and Eahlswith meet-cute and first night together, and you can't prove it didn't happen exactly like this: Sihtric was the son of a dead slave girl and he loves being a free man, he loves carrying swords and serving Uhtred and wearing silver arm-rings.

[whatstheproblembaby]

First Lines Meme

@klaineharmony tagged me and I love a good game. This’ll actually cover all the fandoms I’ve written for, too, so I’m excited to see if my tone shifts much from place to place.

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Most recent first:

1. “As much as she loved a quiet meal at home with her family, Shelagh appreciated their monthly invitations to dinner at Nonnatus House.” - Points of Contact, Call the Midwife

2. “Shelagh wasn’t sure she had ever heard a sound more beautiful than the click of the bedroom door knob as it unlatched to admit her husband.” - Special Delivery, Call the Midwife

3. “Shelagh had thought she was above eavesdropping in corners in Nonnatus House after Trixie and Cynthia had roped her into their spying on Jenny and Alec all those years ago, but apparently, some things stayed with you.” - What’s in a Name?, Call the Midwife

4. “She didn’t want to, but Shelagh eventually succumbed to the force of her waking mind.” - Remember Me, Call the Midwife

5. “Sister Bernadette rubbed her thumb back and forth over the knuckles of her other hand, trying to focus on keeping a steady rhythm as the car slowly made its way toward Nonnatus House.” - With Open Arms, Call the Midwife

Midpost callout on myself: Hey girl, you really love establishing your POV character from the fucking get-go, huh?

6. “Jack and Davey had a plan.” - There’s This Secret Escape Plan I’ve Got, Newsies 

7.”’This is absolutely the hardest part of being in a poly relationship,’ Kath said, flopping backwards onto the mattress.” - Triptych, Newsies

8. “None of them like winter, though their reasons and reactions differ.” - Hold Each Other., Newsies

9. “’What’s Santa Fe got that New York ain’t?’” - Just Be Real (Is All I’m Askin’), Newsies

10. “Jack was on top of the world.” - We Just Might Win, Newsies

11. “Katherine was almost ashamed of how long it took her to realize what she was feeling.” - We Will Find A Way, Newsies

12. “A warm hand slipping into his made Archie stop in the middle of the school hallway.” - Awareness, Riverdale

13. “’Rachel, help. I’m attached to Blaine.’” - Klaine Advent 2017, Glee (This is just the first line of my first prompt fill, obvi.)

14. “’Don’t be sorry,’ Archie says, pulling Ethel into a hug they both need.” - I Won’t Ever Let You Go, Riverdale

15. “Diana is accustomed to seeing Steve’s ghost.” - Presence, Wonder Woman (2017)

16. “’Attention, Warblers!’ Sebastian’s voice rang out from the balcony, prompting everyone on the lower floor to look up at the head of their organization.” - Restored, Glee

17. “Blaine spread his arms and inhaled deeply, enjoying a rare day of Fall warmth in Ohio.” - Stay With Me, Glee

18. “’I’m so excited!’ Blaine said, swinging his and Kurt’s joined hands higher than strictly necessary as they walked up the stairs of the subway station.” - Game Plan, Glee

19. “’Oh, goddammit,’ Kurt said, staring down at the narrow yet surprisingly deep crack in the pavement below the bleachers.” - What You Need, Glee

20. “When the buzzing and ringing of his phone alarm finally become impossible to sleep through, Kurt had to restrain himself from just flinging his phone out the window in annoyance.” - Here With You, Glee

My callout remains true: I really love establishing a POV and really just starting in medias res with my fic. Probably because I don’t have to establish a universe like an original author does, you know? We can just cut to the chase.

I think my favorite is either the opening of my first Klaine Advent fill or the first line of “What’s in a Name?” just for the nostalgia of the old Nonnatus days.

Idk if I know ten authors who haven’t been tagged! @knightsofthegaytable @chaossmagic @spookytrixiefranklin @bobasbook Do the thing!

[lackadaisicalnereid]

The Game: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some authors! I was tagged by @elasticella​​ & am tagging @bohemicns​​ @kwritten​​ and @ravenbells​​ if they are up for it. It was fun to think about and fit in nicely with me trying to figure out stylistics recently, so good for me.

1.deal with the devil

Malady is tired and Lohse is young.

(oh, do I love words which are not quite opposites but become opposites through being put in a sentence together. also, short sentences, yes.)

2. money dick power

(money)

Rachel almost wishes she could be embarrassed about this,

(dick)

with Quinn's fingers stroking her clit at a steady pace, and Rachel's fingers in response twisting in Quinn's hair,

(power)

but Rachel had misplaced most of her sanity decades ago, and there wasn't much of it to begin with anyway.

(yeah, this is one of those things that happen to me sometimes, idek, here I'm interspersing the entire fic with the repetitions of money, dick, power which is what the characters got on their matching tattoos, rhythmically mimicking one of the characters getting the other off with her hand, what ever are my choices)

3. a fire burning

Nyota's not sure even as it's happening, why she's in the landing party.

(ah, the thing in clauses when the referent for the pronoun comes after the pronoun itself, i cherish you so)

4. king of something

When Jane first sees Valkyrie, let's just say that it's a lot.

(one of my probably most used openings - both key characters present, making first contact)

5. falling, except

They keep falling - except

(in contrast to #4, a more in medias res approach, which i also do like sometimes, and then there's the the not-really-finishing-the-sentence thing which i also sometimes employ)

6. we’re all strays on a sidewalk

Magic can be many things.

(generic present tense statement, how i both worship and fear you)

7. but you took your toll on me It will never happen.

(ah narratorial OR character prediction for the future that starts the fic and its repetition creates the structure)

8. to avoid death, marry the hangman

6. They are in Clytemnestra's bed, always in Clytemnestra's bed, in lieu of crimes ot yet committed, Clytemnestra at least claims Cassandra away from Agamemnon's bed and for herself.

(this is the type of rambly opening line i honestly thought i'd find more of in my fic, but alas there hasn’t been much of it lately, but i do do the thing here where i number events and then scramble their order, which i have fun with both reading & writing)

9. come nightfall you’ll be waltzing through my door

Paris in summer is wonderful – at times.

(ah generic present tense statement, we meet again, ending on a hedge, and i do love hedges, also i’m itching to finish the next chapter of this blair/dan whatever it is)

10. Upper East Side, a queendom

Blair is a queen.

(maybe the shortest sentence on this list. i really do like a short opening line)

11. little beast

A story needs to start somewhere, so let us say this story needs three protagonists now.

(oh, hello narrator, nice to see you again, this is probably the most present distinct narratorial voice i’ve ever tried, even i occasionally think it’s obnoxious)

12. above all else, a god needs compassion

Tally is strong.

(oh i was wrong about #10 being the shortest. who knows if i'll find a 2-word opening line somewhere)

13. girls are cruellest to themselves

For the first time in recent memory, Abigail Bellweather does not know what to fucking do.

(i do like to employ swearing occasionally, and also i do consider characters not knowing sth a good starting point - see also #3 and #4)

14. the only apple on the only tree (that we’re not supposed to eat)

It's always the only apple on the only tree that we're not supposed to eat, and it's the same fucking shit all over again, except this time it's Laura looking at Baph, all metal and goth, and dark and grief, and not hers, not even remotely, and thinking, yes, I pick you.

(rambly again, and swearing (must have been a phase) and hello religious motif, we meet at last, i was wondering when you were going to show up, also i do the listing thing which i like in the second half of the sentence, and i do the free indirect discourse thing, i think?)

15. as goddesses do

1. Hera hears about Persephone long before she meets her.

(oh, see: #4 except this is even before the characters' first contact, which makes it kinda like #3)

16. everything i want here "I love her - Father, Mother, please," Paris begs, as well as Paris was ever capable of doing just that.

(you know for some reason i just love the as well as Paris was ever capable of doing just that second half of the sentence, but that's probably because i have a lot of thoughts re: Paris & begging & family and i like the staccato of what Paris is saying, this might just be my favorite of the openings here )

17. so many things i’m not allowed to tell you

1. It's this: Katherine comes to Mystic Falls.

(oh, short event description with some narratorial intervention and framing, hello)

18. am i your demon yet

The nature of it is that she never comes to Baph.

(the nature of what, that is the question, and i do love a good opening question, also - if she never comes to Baph - what does happen? so many questions and so little time)

19. girls in the mirror are closer than they appear

It would be silly to pretend Laura does not know that Sakhmet has eaten someone.

(i wish i'd made this sentence shorter, or changed something in the rhythm maybe, but i liked the epistemological focus on the pretending and/or knowing, so *shrug* what’s a girl to do)

20. forever just means forever

There is a corpse, or more than one corpse, maybe one or two or three.

(again, epistemological uncertainty, my best friend, see: #19, also aren't corpses just a great starting point, who's with me)

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (37/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: A thanks to all of you for genuinely being the most wonderful people who are so kind in however you do or do not interact with me, and a special thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke​ for being my beta and @imagnifika​ for making this cover ❤️

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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A car horn blares ten floors down before the sound of two more follow, and Emma groans before twisting her head and burying her face in her pillow, hoping to drown out the noise. It’s the middle of the night, darkness surrounding everyone and everything, and the only sounds Emma should be able to hear are the quick turn of the ceiling fan above Killian’s bed and the steady pace of Killian’s breathing behind her as his hand flexes over her stomach while his breath comes out warmly against the nape of her neck.

Instead of those noises, however, she hears the sound of cars blaring outside, and while this place unfortunately has the moniker of the City That Never Sleeps, Emma certainly wishes to.

Groaning at the reverberation of yet another horn sounding, Emma tucks her face further into the softness of the pillow, hoping that her mind can somehow will the noise to go away, and she puts all of her energy and focus into falling back asleep since there are still hours until the sun will rise high into the sky and her alarm will blare much like the horns outside to tell her that the day ahead of her as finally arrived.

Rough fingers press into the skin of her stomach once more, stretching out before coming back together, and Emma shifts back into Killian’s embrace from where they had separated while sleeping. He twitches slightly, and since she’s not sure if it was unconscious or not, Emma tentatively rolls her hips back into Killian’s so that his hardened length settles between her ass while heat begins to flicker across her body. Killian’s fingers flinch once more, but this time they tug her body back into him while his hot breath once again brushes over her neck to cause her skin to break out in goosebumps.

And then there’s the soft kiss right over her pulse point.

“Bloody car horn,” Killian grumbles into her skin, kissing her again. “What could possibly be that annoying that they have to wake everyone in the building?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

His nails start tracing along her stomach underneath her sweater that she put on before bed to combat the chill that always moves through Killian’s apartment, even more so now that it’s cold outside and there’s no escape from the crisp late October air. The patterns are nonsense, and Emma smiles to herself at the thought of Killian and his usual penchant for writing his love for her into her own skin.

He’s stupid romantic.

“We should go back to bed.”

Emma rolls her hips again, her eyes adjusting to the dimness of the room that is only lit by the moon and the lights of the buildings across from the apartment, and she wakes up that little bit more at the feeling of Killian moving behind her.

“Are you sure about that?” she teases.

“Oh, absolutely,” Killian says even as his hand moves up her stomach to lazily fondle her breast while his scruff scratches across the cords of her neck. “We’ve got a bit of a big day today.”

“And what’s that?”

Emma can practically feel the smile in Killian’s kiss on her shoulder, and she twists the slightest bit so that the back of her head rests against her pillow while Killian adjusts to press his hips further into her. His cheek rests against the palm of his hand that’s propped up by his elbow so that he’s looking down at her, a ghost of light flickering across him so that she can clearly see half of his face and the grin on his lips as his hand still continues to palm her breast.

“Well, you know what it is, my beautiful darling.”

Emma feigns innocence. “Do I?”

“You do.” His head dips down to lazily guide his mouth over hers, and Emma could practically melt and become one with this bed for Killian to keep kissing her like this.

“It’s the beginning of the World Series, I know.”

Killian’s brow arches high on his forehead, those little lines in the middle appearing. “Well, that is true, but it’s not why I think today is a big day.”

“You’re a shitty baseball player then.”

Killian chuckles and pinches her nipple, and heat continues to curl between her thighs so that there’s a growing ache there. “It’s your birthday, my love,” he whispers as he smiles down at her before giving her a tender kiss. “I know you haven’t forgotten about that.”

“I haven’t, no. I’m simply a bit more concerned about the game than me getting older.”

Killian hums before he’s kissing her again, his tongue beyond sinful, and by the time that he pulls back she can scarcely breathe. He’s always been able to have her panting and wanting more within minutes, and suddenly the teasing isn’t enough. Suddenly she needs much more of him, every bit of him, and she needs it soon.

The cars beeping their horns outside don’t seem so bad now.

“Let me make you forget for a little while, yeah?” he whispers as his hand trails down from her breast to beneath the elastic waistband of her pajama pants so that his fingers are running over where she’s slick with want for him. His voice is still gritty and hoarse as it always is when he’s just woken up, and Emma will forever be fond of him in the mornings with his deep voice and sleep-rumpled hair. “Fuck, Emma,” he groans as his fingers continue to move exactly where she wants him. “It’s ridiculous how much the thought of you wanting me still drives me insane.”

Her hand reaches back to cup the back of his head, fingers curling into the soft strands so that she can push his face a little bit closer to hers. “You must be on the verge of going insane then because I always want you.”

The heel of Killian’s hand presses into her bundle of nerves, and Emma lets out a pathetic whine. She doesn’t care though. She’s long stopped caring about any awkward noises or ungraceful movements that come when she’s with Killian. It’s part of life and being human, and there’s no one in the world who she is more comfortable with than Killian.

No one.

And she knows that he enjoys the noises she makes in response to his touch even if it’s a groan from him elbowing her.

“You’re right,” he mumbles, as his fingers continue to work at her, the deftness of them causing a heat more sweltering than the summer to move over her skin in waves as her brain begins to float away with thoughts of anything other than how good Killian makes her feel. “I’m simply mad about you.”

Killian pulls his hand back, and the whine Emma releases is even more pathetic. “What the hell are you doing?”

He shifts behind her as his hands pull down her pajama pants. Emma has to help, tilting her hips up and kicking away the material so that nothing separates her from the blanket resting over her. Soon, though, the heat of Killian’s skin and the trickle of the hair on his legs is pressing into her, and Emma bites her bottom lip as she feels the smooth heat of his cock press into the slickness of her folds.

Killian’s grin is wicked, and Emma’s stomach muscles quiver in anticipation of what’s coming next. She loves him so damn much that it’s ridiculous.

A year ago, he was nothing more than a cocky baseball player inadvertently determined to ruin her life. No part of her could have imagined that this is where they’d be now. She would have laughed and resisted and done everything possible to be as far away from Killian Jones as possible.

Now, though, she wants to be joined with him in every single way so that they are as close as humanly possible.

There’s a roll of his hips behind her, his heavy length teasing her, and her moan is nothing compared to the gruntled groan that Killian lets out behind her. Killian’s hand comes to wrap around her stomach over the metal of her ring once more while the other rests behind her head to bring her more comfort while her back is pressed to Killian’s front, and he nuzzles his cheek into her neck while his lips move just behind the lobe of her ear as she lifts her leg over his hip so that he can slowly push inside of her, settling deep inside of her with a pleasurable stretch that has her heartbeat quickening and her breath catching at how good the drag of him feels.

“Fuck,” she whispers, the sound escaping into the swirl of air from the ceiling fan. “You feel so good.”

“Not as good as you. I can assure you of that.”

“It doesn’t have to be a competition.”

“Oh, darling,” he sighs with a deep chuckle into her ear, “you do know that I like winning.”

And then he’s rocking his hips into her, pressing himself as deep inside of Emma as he possibly can, and Emma’s stomach flips while sweat forms at her temple and emotion lodges itself in her throat.

It’s a funny, over-emotional thing, but nights like this are her favorite. It’s the middle of the night, most of the world asleep despite the people outside who woke them up, and no one exists outside of the two of them. It’s them against the world, two people who are undeniably different and yet certainly well-matched, and as Killian moves within her, Emma wonders if she’s ever felt so entirely whole in her life.

Her blood thrums hotly within her while Killian finds a rhythm that might as well be the most beautiful music ever written, and Emma listens to it as heat and need and that continuing want pools between her thighs and over her entire body. Emma shifts her leg once more, letting Killian thrust deeper inside of her so that he is hitting the spot that would allow her to see stars even in the middle of Manhattan, and she loses any sort of composure that was hanging on by a string.

Killian is going achingly slowly, taking his time as if seconds are truly minutes and minutes are hours, and she’s perfectly fine with that until his tongue starts moving hotly against the crook between her shoulder and neck and she’s desperate for more.

“Beautiful,” he groans into her ear. “You are so beautiful. I could stay joined with you for hours if our bodies would let us.”

A shudder runs through her, and she imagines through Killian as well if the way that his movements falter is any indication, and she’s that much closer to the edge. Then Killian’s hand is moving from where it’s pressed against her stomach and down to where they’re joined, and she loses it, tumbling over the edge with a sigh that Killian captures in a fierce kiss once she’s craned her head to the side.

“I love you,” she gasps out against his breath. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

His movements inside of her still for only for him to start thrusting again with purpose, obviously ready to chase his high as well now that she’s found hers. Nothing truly seems real, everything blurred except for what she feels with him, and there’s another dizzying rush of heat that comes with an overwhelming sense of love as Killian heavily pulses between her thighs while his mouth still against hers.

“I love you more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

The words are spoken into her mouth, but they settle down in her heart. Emma is so incandescently happy in this moment that she cannot help the smile that lazily stretches from one side of her lips to the other. His chest is still pressed into her back, hair coated with sweat that sticks to her skin, and she’s pretty sure that she can feel his heartbeat with the rise and fall of his chest. That may be her own. At this point, she’s not sure where she ends and Killian begins.

“Hi,” she giggles when her eyes flicker open and she’s struck by blue.

“Hello, love,” he sighs in response, holding her close a little longer as she feels him begin to soften within her. “Happy birthday.”

“Hmm, happy World Series day.”

“I see that our priorities are still vastly different.”

“However will we make this thing between us work?”

Killian chuckles before regretfully pulling out of her, and she misses the heat of him immediately before he’s rolling to the side and opening his bedside drawer. Then there’s a cool touch as he cleans her up, and Emma snuggles back into her pillow, sated and happy and not at all caring that she’s wearing a sweater and nothing else.

Emma turns around so that she can tuck her feet between Killian’s calves and wrap her arms around his stomach while his hand curves around her waist to rest on her ass, fingers playfully squeezing like he hasn’t gotten enough of her.

She can understand that.

“I think,” he sighs in response to her question, “that we will figure that out. Remind me to find whoever it was that blared their bloody horn in the middle of the night and thank them for that.”

“It may be a bit difficult to track them down.”

“I am up to the task because I think I may be walking around with a goofy smile all day after that.”

Emma tilts her head up and rests her chin on his chest as she stares up at him, the lights from outside catching the blue in his eyes. That blue will never not be ridiculous.

There is, indeed, the goofiest smile on his face. She imagines it matches the one on hers.

“We should probably go back to sleep.”

“Eh.”

“What?”

His hand moves from her ass up to her back, tracing those patterns again. “I’m not playing today. It’s all on Rob. I can stay awake with you as long as I want. I want to soak in as much time with the darling Emma Swan as I can as she begins her twenty-eighth year.”

She scrunches up her nose. “Please tell me you’re not going to make a big deal out of today. Like, I want as lowkey as possible.”

“Damn. I’ll cancel the one hundred bouquets of roses and the crowd-wide singing to you.”

“Shut up. I’m serious.”

“As am I, love. I know that you don’t want a big deal out of today, so no big deal will be made. However, I do know that Mary Margaret did not get the memo, and she’s arranged for everyone to meet in a suite before the game so that you can have a cake and not be forgotten among the mess of today.”

Emma curls her finger around the hair on Killian’s chest that’s matted together with sweat. “Are you going to be able to be there?”

“Maybe,” he shrugs. “It depends on if Al lets any of us go. He’s a little bit more high strung than usual, and I don’t think even him having a new girlfriend is calming him down.”

“He probably wants to impress her by winning the World Series two years in a row.”

“Well, I can certainly understand that.”

Emma quirks a brow while her finger continues swirling around. “Do you try to impress me, twenty-nine?”

Killian’s smile falters before it’s back, and his hand falls back down to her ass. “Every damn day.”

Emma chuckles as she presses forward to kiss his collarbone before shifting once more to lazily kiss Killian so that she can taste his warmth. “You do a very good job at impressing me even though you definitely don’t have to.”

“It does come rather naturally to me. I’m a pretty impressive guy.”

Emma rolls her eyes and rests her head against her shoulder as sleep starts to catch up with her again, the lids of her eyes clothing. “There’s the Killian I know and love.”

“At your service, milady.”

When she wakes, Emma knows that it’s hours later from the way that sunlight filters through the windows. The shades have been pulled down since the middle of the night, but only halfway as the glow of the late October sun reaches through the room. Emma’s thighs ache, something, she notices immediately, but it’s a pleasant soreness that makes her mind flashback to a few hours ago. Immediately, she turns to seek out Killian in bed, but he’s not there. In his place are simply a card and a small box that has her heart pounding in her chest so loudly that she’s surprised all of Manhattan cannot hear it.

Emma reaches over and grabs the card first, her name written out in Killian’s sprawling script, and she smiles to herself as she reads his message.

Happiest of birthdays, my love.

Leaving you a card and a gift (and it is not your only gift, I promise) on the bed while you sleep does not count as “making a big deal out of things” so you best not complain. It’s been quite the year for you, a rollercoaster without a seatbelt some would say, and the only thing I can wish is that this year is somehow better for you than the last and that a smile continues to grace your lips.

You are the best part of my day every day, even on the ones where we’re arguing, and I cannot thank you enough for loving me even though I am the man who pressed start on last year’s rollercoaster ride.

I am where I am today because of you, Emma Swan. You are everything.

All of my love,

Killian.

Sweet, stupid, sentimental fool.

Emma sits up in bed and adjusts the plush comforter over her legs. She needs to put pants back on, the chill in the room too much for her, but she’s far too curious as to what’s in this box. Slowly, she opens it, and inside rests a slim silver chain that glistens in the sunlight with a small circular pendant at the bottom that has the number twenty-nine inscribed into it.

“Elsa assured me that it wasn’t an asshole move to give you a pendant with my number on it.” She looks up to where he’s standing in the archway of his bedroom, already dressed in his clothes for practice and holding a mug of coffee in his hand. “I probably asked her at least sixty-seven times. And it’s also, you know, for the ring. The chain you have it on now is a chunky old thing, and you deserve something a little more delicate.”

Her hand drops reaches down into her sweater and pulls out the chain so that it and the ring rests on top of her sweater. “There is nothing wrong with this chain.”

“Yeah,” Killian smiles, “there is. You deserve a nicer one.”

Emma doesn’t know what to say to that, so instead of speaking, she pulls the chain off of her neck and undoes the clasp before hooking the ring onto the new chain so that it falls down next to the pendant. “Can you put it on me?”

Killian nods in affirmation before walking toward her and putting the mug of coffee on the side table before gathering her hair up and moving it to the side so that it’s not covering her neck. He softly smiles at her, obviously nervous over his gift, before his hand brushes over hers to take the chain so that he can wrap it around her neck and clasp it together so that the ring and pendant fall just between her breast. Then there’s a soft, lingering kiss against the nape of her neck, and all Emma can do is smile.

“Thank you, Killian. I love this.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she confirms, kissing his cheek. “It’s perfect.”

The smile that stretches across his face warms her heart, and she swears that she sees blush gracing his cheeks. “I didn’t want to wake you since you don’t have to be at the fields until three, but I’ve got to go to practice.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to pay the fine and stay in bed with me? I’m feeling very motivated for a repeat of earlier.”

Killian groans and moves to rest his forehead against her shoulder, his intake of breath audible. “Please don’t tempt me like that. I have paid the fine many a time before for you, but I can’t do it today.”

“I know,” she soothes, squeezing his bicep. “I know. Go to practice. It’s a big day for you and the guys, and I don’t want anything to come between that.”

“I know. I love you, and I’ll text you later, yeah?”

“Absolutely. I love you too.” Killian kisses her shoulder before pulling up and standing from the bed so that he can walk over to his bedroom doorway. “Aren’t you forgetting your coffee?”

“That’s for you, love.”

Emma groans in appreciation. “You are the best man in the world.”

“I can’t wait to tell Dave that he’s lost his title.”

And then he’s gone and she’s left in the glorious softness of this bed with a new chain around her neck and a warm cup of coffee in her hand.

It’s day one of the World Series, and there’s absolutely nothing better than this.

Nothing.

-/-

Emma adjusts the faux leather of her skirt as she walks down the hallway to the suite where Mary Margaret’s text instructed her to go. Apparently, she didn’t think through her outfit choice today because no matter how cute she looks in a tight skirt with high suede boots and a black sweater, it’s a little bit difficult to walk at her normal pace. Jeans would have been a better choice, but she was saving that for tomorrow since the temperatures are dipping down a little further despite it being a day game.

ObviouslyObviously, all of the choices she has to make on a daily basis are the most difficult.

Regardless of her limited movement, Emma keeps walking, flashing her ID badge to the guard, and steps inside where she’s immediately bombarded by blue and white balloons as well as two giant gold ones of the numbers “two” and “eight.”

This is exactly what Killian meant when he had no control over whatever it is that Mary Margaret was doing to celebrate today.

“Happy birthday, Emma,” Addison squeals as she runs through the balloons to reach Emma, her arms going around Emma’s waist and squeezing so hard that Emma’s intestines likely shift.

“Thank you, sweetie,” she laughs, hugging Addy back and taking a deep breath when she lets go. “Did you get me all of these balloons?”

“Nope. Mommy and Mriss s. Mary Margaret did.”

“Oh, well, that is certainly nice of them.” Emma awkwardly bends down and picks Addy up even if Addy is getting far too big for her to do that, before walking through the balloons to where everyone Emma knows who doesn’t play baseball is waiting for her with bright smiles on their faces. “Hi, everyone. Thank you for the balloons and the cake that I’m sure is in the fridge and will make it hard for me to stay in this skirt.”

“It’s your birthday,” Mary Margaret sighs as she walks forward to give Emma a hug. “Calories don’t count. You look fantastic, by the way.”

“Thank you, Marg. You’re so sweet.”

Emma has to put Addison down before she makes the rounds to hug everyone in the room. Anna and Elsa squeeze her far too tightly, while Liam and Kris hug her like a normal person. Leo gives her a half-hearted hug, too distracted by watching TV to pay too much attention to her, and David hugs her like he always hugs her with his hand cupping the back of her head as he wishes her a happy birthday and shares just how much he loves her.

She hates that Ruby is downstairs working and that Graham is still at the precinct, but she’ll see both of them later today. She still can’t believe they’re getting married.

“Has Killian given you your present yet, Emma?” Elsa asks her once they’ve all settled down on the couches, plates of cake in all of their laps.

“Yeah, he has.” Emma pulls the chain out from underneath her shirt and shows Elsa. “Did you help him pick it out?”

“No, it was all on him. He asked my advice on it, though, because he wasn’t sure if it was an appropriate gift.”

“I love it. It’s very me, I think.”

“Killian too,” Anna sighs as her hand reaches over to touch the chain. “He’s never been one for big gifts, even for himself. His apartment is the most extravagant thing that he owns. This is so pretty. I think I might have to steal it from you.”

“Over Emma’s dead body,” David laughs. “She misplaced that ring last week, and I have never seen her so frantic. She’s not letting anyone touch it.”

Her cheeks flame up. “It’s not something that can exactly be replaced. Need I remind you of the time we had to do some special plumbing to get your wedding rink back from the sink in the men’s bathroom at the office.”

“You had to do what now?” Mary Margaret asks, a high-pitched squeak to her voice.

“Nothing, honey,” David promises even as he cuts his eyes at Emma. “I’ve still got my ring, and that’s all that matters.”

“If it makes everyone feel better,” Kris adds in, “I’m on what hast has to be my fifth wedding ring. I swear I lose one every Christmas season when I’m working.”

“The guy at the jewelry store has the information on file so that it’s always the same ring.” Anna shrugs her shoulders, like she’s used to it. “I have no idea how he loses them like that because it’s, like, pretty much glued to his fingers.”

“I’m a man of many talents.”

“Losing your ring doesn’t qualify as a talent, Kris.”

“Shut up, Liam.”

“That’s not a nice word,” Lucy yells out, chocolate icing spread across her lips. “You’re not supposed to say that. You’re supposed to ask him to please lower his voice.”

“Yeah, Kris,” Emma teases as she scoops up another bite of cake. “Ask Liam to lower his voice.”

“You get too much joy out of this.”

“I just like that the four-year-old is in charge of you.”

“I have been married to Anna for five years. You have been dating Killian for half a year. And yet you’re the one with the girls wrapped around your finger.”

Emma waggles her fingers in the air and winks over at Kris. “I learned all the best tricks at how to make children like me with Leo.”

“And by that,” David explains, “she means that she gave him candy even when we told her not to.”

“I think it really started when I gave him icing when he was ten months old. Leo’s never looked back. Right, kid?”

“Yep,” he sighs. He’s got icing all over his lips too, and it makes Emma laugh. “And now I get really cool seats at baseball games.”

“Hey,” David scoffs. “I have taken you to baseball games for years.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Ungrateful, I tell you. Completely and totally ungrateful.”

“Last week,” Liam starts, “I braided Addy’s hair, as I do quite frequently so I’m not a novice, and there was a small loop out of place that she went on about until I dropped her at school. I swear, sometimes it’s like life really is paying me back for every dumb thing I’ve done through the kids.”

Emma’s phone beeps, and she looks down at it to see a message from Ruby that she needs to come downstairs and get prepped for the game day introduction. Emma closes down the screen on her phone and takes several quick bites of her cake before standing up from the couch and placing her plate down on the coffee table.

“Thank you guysyou, guys. I love you, but I’ve got to go to work. Do your magic and pull the guys through, okay? If not for our sakes, do it for Killian so we don’t have to deal with him being all moody.”

“Amen,” they all echo from around her.

They all know Killian far too well.

-/-

There’s a roar in the stadium, one that Emma doesn’t hear that often, and it sends chills down her spine and over every inch of her skin so that each individual hair is raised on pebbled skin.

That’s the thing about starting the Series with the home field advantage. The entire crowd is around you, cheering on your successes and bemoaning your mistakes, and that momentum doesn’t just stick around for the home game. It stays with the players when they inevitably have to travel to California and have their every movement booed and their every breath criticized. Killian has told her time and time again that when it gets to be too much out there, the lights to bright and the jeers too loud, he closes his eyes and thinks to one of those moments where he was floating on cloud nine lifted by the fans so that he can remember that what’s happening right now isn’t going to be what’s happening every single time.

Each game is different, and sometimes it takes looking back on a good moment to have things be a little less lonesome out there.

For as much as these guys are a part of a team, they’re also standing in solidarity with thousands upon thousands of eyes on them, each person waiting with baited breath.

Emma’s heart has nearly burst from her chest fifteen times tonight alone, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to make it through more games than this.

How is she going to make it through Killian pitching tomorrow when he’s only pitched two games in two months?

This was easier when she was simply a reporter and not a girlfriend.

Damn.

“You look like you’re about to hyperventilate,” Ruby says through her earpiece.

“Rubes, you have spent this entire game commentating the fact that I look like I’m going to hyperventilate or pass out or do something else equally ridiculous.”

“Some people are entertained by the game. I’m entertained by you.”

Jeff rolls his eyes next to Emma, obviously listening in to Ruby talking too. That poor man did not sign up for the two of them when he applied to be a job as a cameraman. He probably thought he’d just get to film a few baseball games.

“It’s sad how little you can be entertained by.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of this huge ass diamond ring on my finger.”

“Oh my God,” Emma mutters under her breath, and now Jeff is the one who looks like he’s about to hyperventilate. “Are you ever going to stop saying that?”

“Nope,” Ruby sighs. “I’m engaged and in love, and it’s only been three days. I have at least two weeks to be an obnoxious bride-to-be, remember?”

“Okay, but after two weeks, you’re done.”

“Please, in two weeks you and Jones are going to be holed up in his apartment fucking each other’s brains out because neither of you are smothered with work for the first time since you started dating. Baseball mating season in its truest form.”

“Ruby,” Emma shrieks, and some of the other reporters that are sitting next to her back behind the bullpen look over to her. “You can’t say that over the earpiece.”

“I’m sure Jeff doesn’t mind.”

“I mind,” he pipes in. “I definitely mind.”

“Strike three,” the umpire says, flashing the signal as Lorenzo walks off the field and back to the Dodgers’ dugout.

And game one goes to the Yankees.

“Go ahead and get ready to do interviews, you guys,” Ruby instructs them, her voice mellowing out back to the voice she uses when she’s seriously working. “Roseman has done a hell of a job closing out the game, but they want you to interview Scarlet and King.”

“Are you serious?” Emma groans.

“I know, I know. King is an asshole, but he hit the triple that gave us the lead. You’ve just got to do it.”

Emma would release a breath of relief, but she doesn’t even get a chance. She’s too busy trying to navigate the field that’s full of players and coaches and even a few family members that have somehow stuck around. Then it’s a mess of interviews, and thankfully, Will and Arthur do a joint one so that she doesn’t have to interview Arthur alone. Their voices are giddy, Will’s Boston accent far thicker than usual, and it’s infectious seeing the joy in their faces and hearing the cheer of the crowd as Frank Sinatra’s voice plays over the stadium.

They really did just win.

One game down. Hopefully only three more to go.

“Swan,” Killian yells out, and she turns around on the field to see him walking toward her. He’s changed clothes since she last saw him, and she had no idea that he was still even near the field. She kind of figured that he would have gone up to the suite after practice.

The smile on his face is huge, his eyes crinkling, and she fully expects him to pick her up in his hug when he gets to her.

He does.

“We won,” she laughs into his embrace while he slowly spins her around the field.

“YesYes, we fucking did,” Killian chuckles right back as he puts her on the ground and moves his hands to cup her cheeks before fiercely kissing her. She guesses him kissing her during the last game kind of blew their policy on separating work and home in public. “I have no idea how I’m going to go to sleep tonight.”

“Yeah, well, you better. You have to pitch tomorrow. This isn’t over yet.”

“I know, I know, but I can feel it in my bones. We’ve got this.”

“Yeah,” she smiles as hope starts building up in her chest, “we do.”

Or at least she hopes so.

-/-

-/-

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[readyforit]

hi I think this is my ranking of norman fucking rockwell by lana del rey + why

1. venice bitch — this song has just gradually become my favourite because it’s PERFECTION it’s almost ten (?!!!!??!) minutes of the most perfect mood and atmosphere ever. the lyricism is top notch, lana’s vocals are so serene, and the instrumentals is the most amazing thing ever. I need to go feral when I listen to music and the INSTRUMENTALS IN THIS SONG MAKE ME WANT TO ASCEND TO HEAVEN; the guitar! the harmonisation! the riffs! everything rolls together so gracefully like ocean waves, it’s like heaven to my ears. I could listen to this song forever, it’s genuinely so perfect. 2. happiness is a butterfly — this used to be my favourite nfr song! it’s sO BEAUTIFUL. I adore the different stages of the song, how it slowly builds up in anticipation and then slows down and then paces back and forth and then RACES UP AND MAKES YOU WANT TO SCREAM. the lyrics are so sweet and brimming with yearning I want to cry. I literally want to chant ‘I SAID DON’T BE A JERK DON’T CALL ME A TAXI SITTING IN YOUR SWEATSHIRT CRYING IN THE BACKSEAT OOH OOH OOH I JUST WANNA DANCE WITH YOU HOLLYWOOD AND VINE BLACK RABBIT IN THE ALLEY I JUST WANNA HOLD YOU TIGHT DOWN THE AVENUE I JUST WANNA DANCE with baby I just wanna dance... with you.... baby I just wanna dance.... with you’ like a million times a day. the song takes you to such a specific location and feeling it’s unmatchable. 3. cinnamon girl  — sometimes I feel like this song isn’t my favourite song in the whole world because it’s so perfect. dlfskj like sometimes I don’t like songs because they’re just so Polished and precise and amazing, which is kind of ironic. anyway I adore cinnamon girl SO MUCH, from the title to the lyrics to the vocals, it’s like a dream I’m living in. the way the vocals come in is so perfect and the beat is so mesmerising and the ‘AH AH AHA HAAHAHA’ in the chorus makes me want to faint, the song literally gets better every time you think it can’t. ‘there’s things I want to say to you but I’ll just let you live’ is also such a relatable lyric I hate it. cinnamon girl is like the prettiest song in the whole world. 4. fuck it I love you — THIS SONG IS JUST SO AMAZING I hate how relatable it is, the desire and desperation... it’s killing me slowly........ everything flows together so perfectly, like the instrumentals and vocals just trace each other flawlessly. the bridge is when the song reaches its peak, it’s LEGENDARY ICONIC INSPIRING and I soak the lyrics up like water ghfadfolk. it’s so perfect. 5. california — I think this was my favourite song when I first listened to the album! the layers the complexity the patterns, amazing. there are so multitudes of different sections in the song, it goes through a verse then pre chorus and chorus and post chorus like three times fgldfkjf it’s pure iconicism. plus this is just another song that makes me want to go to america. the countdown from two, three, four before the chorus, the chant-like rhythm of the post chorus, the sadness in the lyrics... perfect. (also can we talk about how lana references flipside, carmen, summertime sadness in one song. what.) 6. the greatest — I live for the ‘AND I’M WAAAAAAAAAASTED’. I love how nostalgic and pondering the song is, it feels like a distant, wandering moment in time just floating around. to be honest I feel like it gets a bit slow/draggy at times and the lyrics don’t really make sense (or at least I’m lacking in braincells) but I guess the space-y slow atmosphere is the point. I like how the song trails off at the end with seemingly random trains of thought... ‘kanye west is blonde and gone’ is my personal favourite. 7. love song — THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL it’s flooding with vulnerability, relating to this song is like a dream. the lyrics are some of the strongest and most beautiful on the album too... ‘in your car I’m a star and I’m burning through you’, ‘thanks for the high life, baby is the best, passed the test and yes, now I’m here with you and I would like to think that you would stick around, you know that I’d just die to make you proud’, ‘is it safe is it safe to just be who we are’ are such delicate and fragile lines, I want that! anyway this song makes me feel so happy for lana, it’s beautiful to see her release a song about being so comfortable in a relationship. 8. how to disappear — I think I love this song lyrically but not that much instrumentally. actually, this might be the strongest song on the album lyrically, I love the poignant description of lana’s lover and the storyline and verge of emotion. the words just hang over the music so perfectly, I love how they’re like sentences trailing over several musical phrases. ‘I’m always going to be right here’ is such a comforting lyric to hear I don’t know why. also I’m not sure why but this song makes me think of ships at sea. so that’s nice. 9. mariners apartment complex — I sort of feel like I have a love hate relationship with the song, but I mostly love it. the confidence and power in the lyrics is what I like to see <3 I adore how the song slows down and then suddenly speeds up (the best part) and then slows down again, it’s so dynamic and powerful. 10. hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it — the pouring emotion and precise details and intense description is so mesmerising. I think this song could be one of my favourites if it wasn’t for how peaceful and still it is, because like I mentioned, I think I need music to be chaotic and intense for it to be a favourite. I still adore it so much though and I remember listening to it endlessly when it was released before the album. it’s so melancholic yet hopeful, and the ending where lana’s vocals get all high pitched and she sings ‘hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have but I have it yeah I have it yeah I have it I have it’ is the most beautiful sound I’ve heard. and I’m not sure why but I love how lana referenced sylvia plath. 11. norman fucking rockwell — I think I love this song, but again, it lacks the chaos/intensity my favourite songs possess. lana’s description of her lover is so specific and incredible, it highlights her writing abilities and her mind. ‘why wait for the best when I could have you?’ is one of my favourite lyrics ever. I love how the song trails off to an ending by slowly muting itself away, like a ship sailing into the distance. 12. bartender — I LOVE BARTENDER, it’s near the bottom of the list for me though because I just don’t think it has much that distinguishes itself from other songs; like it doesn’t possess anything that unique. I do love this song though, the lyricism is so engaging, and the ‘bar t t tender’ is such a nice touch. the song is also quite visual for me for some reason, like I see deep reds and blacks in my mind when listening to this. 13. doin’ time — ughdg I have such a love hate relationship with this song too. it’s such a vibe and I love the sense of confidence, but I also find it kind of annoying sometimes and it gets stuck in my head often. maybe the fact that it’s a cover also slightly diminishes its value because I don’t really think it connects to lana’s personal life that much? but overall the song is quite cool and like the most playful and upbeat song on the record, which is fun. 14. the next best american record — no offence but this song is like a watered down, rip off of the greatest but a lot worse (and the fact that it’s put right before the greatest on the album probably doesn’t help ldsafkfj) I think I find the instrumentation a little heavy and annoying sometimes, and the lyrics literally talk about wanting to write a good song. like LJDFKSG it’s interesting but not ground breaking.

overall, I adore norman fucking rockwell with my heart. it takes you to such a specific feeling that I usually have to listen to the album from start to beginning to soak it all in. there isn’t a single song I dislike, they’re all so precise and beautiful I love it. however, this is probably one of lana’s softer albums as all the songs blend together like one piece (as opposed to other album where every single song sounded different), so ultraviolence and born to die are still superior in my mind because of that. overall, this record is so emotionally mature, the lyrics are god tier and the instrumentation creates such a perfect atmosphere.

[lovebitesimagines]

Dangerous Love- Roses.

So here is the third chapter of dangerous love. I definitely plan on this being quite a long story, and have so much planned for it. So excited to see where this goes. I hope you guys are enjoying reading, as much as I'm enjoying writing it!

Masterlist.

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

Tags: @namelesslosers

Wanna be on the tag list for this series? Drop me a message!

Warnings: Swearing.

This is a very fluffy little chapter!

It’s time for the first date with Alfie Solomons. Will the instant attraction get too much?

YOUR POV

Twenty-four hours. When the words cascade out from between your pair of crimsoned lips, it seems like a dreadfully long time. The words drag and feel heavy as they appear into the atmosphere, your mind whirling as it hopelessly attempts to comprehend the almost endless list of opportunities that lay in front of you. Yet the reality is far bleaker. Twenty-four hours sneaks past you, as you lay distracted by other concerns that roughly steal your attention. Before you know it twenty-four hours has slipped through your fingers as if you were clutching a fist full of hot sand.

You sat hopelessly on the edge of your bed, your woollen blanket softly scratching the underside of your fleshy, white thighs. Your skin was slightly damp with the remnants of the bath you had finished taking a few minutes ago, the small droplets of water slowly sliding down your collarbone and falling onto the soft fabric of your underwear. You ran a hand slowly through your hair, letting it fan and fall back onto your shoulders as a you sighed gently again in despair. Your eyes fell to the clock on your wall, its’ hands moving past frustratingly quickly. Tommy told you yesterday evening that you were to meet Alfie at 6pm tonight. It felt that you blinked, and suddenly it was 5pm on the night in question. You had less than an hour left to get ready and get to the club. Motivation was non-existent in your body, as your mind entertained the worries that governed your thoughts. Sure, the prospect of going on a date with Alfie Solomons wasn’t such a repulsive idea. After all, he was roguishly handsome. What had distressed you the most, was the fact that your brother had schemed behind your back and organised it, disguising it as ‘beneficial for the business’. You knew Tommy well and knew that he had other ideas on his mind.

A gentle knock sounded out from the other side of your bedroom, stealing you away from your thoughts.

“(Y/N)? Can I come in?” Aunt Pol asked, her voice soft. You sensed the sympathy and regret hidden in her tone, something which Aunt Pol only let others witness on rare occasions. Tonight, must be one of them, you thought.

“Yes” you called out, sighing warily before pushing yourself up from your bed. Aunt Pol walked in, her hands full of a captivating shade of red. Your eyes where instantly drawn to the fabric that she held between her fingers, allowing yourself a few seconds to admire the material. Your eyes drifted up to meet hers, a questioning look playing upon your face.

“It’s a dress” she explained, noticing your expression. She walked over to where you stood, laying the dress upon the bed where you had been sitting before standing back to admire the outfit beside you. “Your mum brought it, but your father never permitted her to wear it. I think you should wear it, as one last fuck you to the men that continually attempt to control our lives”.

You turned to face your aunt, tears softly pooling underneath your bottom eyelashes, before you pulled her into a tight hug. You knew she had faced similar horrors in her life from various men, as you had at the hands of your father. You both stayed like that in silence for a few, precious moments. Words where not exchanged between you both, as they were not needed to understand. You both knew.

“Right, you need to try it on” Aunt Pol smiled softly as she pulled away, nodding towards the dress. You grinned in excitement, your fingers trailing delicately along the beautiful red material that was welcomingly soft underneath your touch. You picked it up, sliding it over your head, before walking over to examine your appearance in the mirror, the hem of the dress skimming the floor slightly as you moved. You gasped in shock as your eyes took in what the mirror showed you. You looked beautiful.The dress seductively clung to your body, beautifully enhancing your already prominent curves. The straps sat across your upper arms, lowering into a ‘V’ shape which illuminated your breasts. You reached out for a lipstick that sat on your bedside table, smearing the cherry red substance over your lips. You brushed your hair over your shoulder, grateful that you had inherited your mothers natural, loose curls. You turned to face Aunt Pol, your eyes twinkling with gratitude.

“Thank you” you breathed, feeling unable to form a coherent sentence. She reached out for your hand, a sad smile playing upon her lips.

“It’s time” she whispered, giving your hand a soft squeeze in reassurance. You nodded in response, your stomach giving an uneasy dance as Aunt Pol led you downstairs.

The boys where all sat around the kitchen table, their faces depicting a variety of emotions. Arthur had a frown furrowing in between his bushy eyebrows, his fingers tapping lightly against an empty whiskey bottle. Finn was etching a pattern into the table, the soft wood collecting underneath his fingernails. John was intently watching Finn, his eyes glazed over as a toothpick sat in between his lips. Tommy was the only sibling that performed as if he were calm about the situation, yet the countless cigarette stubs that had fallen in front of him told a different story. They looked up at the sound of your footsteps, life being brought back into the room. Tommy glowered unhappily at your appearance, bringing another cigarette to his lips to light.

“Fucking hell, you look like a girl” Finn laughed, breaking the silence.

“Still throw a better hit than you, and you know it” you chuckled, lightly punching his arm. Arthur and John sniggered, standing up to greet you.

“If he touches you tonight, you know where to hit ‘im” Arthur looked at you gravely, before pulling you into a tight hug. You smiled softly, breathing the familiar scent of whiskey and cologne.

“I’ll be okay. I learned from the best” you smiled softly, as you pulled away. Your comment seemed to appease him, as he nodded in agreement, a rare blush appearing upon his cheeks.

“Sure did” he mumbled as he walked away, his chest swelling with pride at your words.

“Here. Put this somewhere” John pressed a gun into the palm of your hand, the cool metal a contrast against your body heat.

“I don’t think she’ll be needing that” Aunt Pol snapped, snatching the gun from you and placing it on the kitchen dresser, throwing John an angry side glare. You smiled softly at your brother, as he looked down sheepishly.

You heard a chair scrape back against the floor and looked up to meet Tommys’ eyes. He looked back at you, an emotion you couldn’t quite place playing behind his eyes.

“That’s mums dress” he stated, his words having a hidden meaning playing between them. Silence fell in the room, covering it like an uncomfortably heavy blanket. Your skin prickled slightly in discomfort, but you continued to stare defiantly at Tommy, ignoring the tension that began to rise between the four walls.

The silence was interrupted by a sharp rap on the door. You swallowed softly, repeating Aunt Pols’ words.

“It’s time”.

------------------­--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The car pulled up outside the club, gravel crunching underneath the wheels as you came to a stop.

“Here miss” the driver announced- someone picked out by Alfie, who was no doubt paid a handsome sum for his role this morning. You swallowed nervously, pushing open the car door. Your wobbled slightly as your feet pressed against the uneven surface as you stood up, your hand desperately clutching at a wall for support. As you steadied yourself, you took in the scene before you, finally noticing the place where you were to spend your evening.

There, looming over in front of you, stood a magnificent marble white building, thick pillars positioned outside the entrance. Steps led up to entrance, the sound of a jazz band spilling out from the open door. A variety of rose bushes adorned the bottom of the walls- red, white and pink petals scattered amongst the leaves and gravel. It was an incredible contrast, the beautiful spatters of colour within nature pressed up against the marble. You had been told that Alfie would meet you outside the club. Your eyes scanned over the groups of men and women in search for him. Couples arm in arm made their way past you into the building, their faces full of excitement about the night ahead of them. A rainbow of fabric continued to move before your eyes, your nose filling with the scent of cheap perfume and the night air. Snippets of pointless conversation drifted up to your ears, whispered declarations of love floating around the air. Your chest stung with jealousy. If only your evening could be filled with the innocence of a first love. You moved forward towards the entrance, your eyes continuing to scan the crowds that flowed in front of you.

Then you saw Alfie, taking a sharp intake of breath as you took in the sight of him. Everyone around you both became a blur, as if they had been paint smudged upon a canvas. Your heartbeat instantly quickened its pace. He stood near a rose bush, glancing down nervously at the floor. The unexpected show of vulnerability made your heart miss a beat in its nervous rhythm. He was dressed smartly in a crisp black suit, the fabric hugging his muscles. He wore his trademark black hat, a few strands of his brown hair escaping from underneath the wide rim. His beard was recently trimmed, a lot less unkempt since the last time you had seen him. You made your way towards Alfie, his head turning to see who was walking towards him. His grey eyes brightened up at the sight of you, a smile spreading over his face as he scanned over your appearance.

“Holy fuck” he whispered, offering his arm out for you to hold. Your lips formed into a smirk at his reaction, the response to your appearance being exactly what you wanted. You felt accomplished at making this feared gangster almost speechless, the affect you had on him evident on his face.

“Now, that’s no way to talk to a lady” you cheekily retorted, your fingers gently wrapping around his upper arm. You gulped softly at the contact, heat rising in you causing your cheeks to flush. You felt as if a million miniscule electric shocks where coursing through your body from the touch. Your fingers trembled as he led you towards the entrance. You hoped that he did not notice the anxious display. Now was not the time to be nervous.

You were a Shelby, and Shelbys’ don’t show nerves.

***************************************************************************ALFIES’ POV

Being a business man, Alfie was a firm believer in being on time. He believed that lateness was only disrespectful. Admittedly, he was slightly more earlier than the time him and Tommy Shelby had agreed upon. Nerves had lit a fire underneath him, and he was ready a lot more sooner than he had anticipated upon. After annoying Ollie with a million questions regarding his appearance, he had driven to the club. He had sat for a few minutes with his hands grasped upon the steering wheel, his knuckles turning his white, before he got the courage to stand outside. Looking upon the building, he was worried that he had chosen somewhere slightly too grand. Maybe this was too much for a first date, he thought, before shaking the thought away from his mind. This was only a business arrangement, something that would benefit him and the Shelby family. Alfie fought down the idea that this could ever be something more. There was no way you would be interested in someone like him, and even if you somehow happened to be, there was no way your family would allow it.

He had begun to think you would never show up, that somehow Tommy Shelby had gone back on his word. Anger was overcome by disappointment, as he glanced down at the floor. This would be a first. Him, Alfie Solomons, being stood up by a woman and a fucking Shelby at that. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, listening to the conversations of adoration that where so cruelly spoken within ear shot. It had been a secret desire of his, to be loved completely by a woman. He was yet to find that attachment in which would become his whole world. Sure, he’d had relationships with women, but they had soon shown that they had only used and slept with him for the status, not for who he was as a person. He was aware that his reputation preceded him, and he knew that not all of what was said was necessarily well perceived. His somewhat impressive ability to become hot-headed quicker than Arthur Shelby, was well known. Both women and men feared him. But the truth was, Alfie would never hurt a woman. Love was his ultimate weakness, and that was something he feared would one day become common knowledge.

Alfie looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching, his face splitting into a large grin at the sight of you. He enjoyed the way your dress softly caressed your curves, exposing carefully planned areas of skin. His mind ran wild at the image of your pale skin, highlighted by the soft exposure to moonlight. He marvelled at your beauty, which utterly entranced him. He had never been exposed to such an enticing woman in all his life, his mind struggling to think of words that would do justice to describe your appearance.

“Holy fuck” he whispered, robotically holding out his arm for her to hold as she came close.

“Now that’s no way to talk to a lady” she chuckled, his heart warming at her cheeky response. He felt her fingers daintily wrap around his muscular upper arm and was instantly focused upon how amazing such a simple form of contact could make him feel. He was grateful that Ollie hadn’t trimmed too much of his beard, as it disguised the blush that had begun to form upon his cheeks.

Alfie led the way into the club, the sound of music becoming deafeningly loud. His eyes scanned the room in search for a quieter place, unashamedly desperate to be able converse with the beautiful woman on his arm in a little privacy. Spotting a small booth in the corner of the room, he guided her towards it before sitting down, pulling her gently beside him. He suddenly became hyper-aware of the closeness of your contrasting two frames, awkwardly shuffling away slightly to create some distance between you both, ignoring the dejected way your face fell slightly. He looked around the room, twiddling his thumbs slightly as his mind strived to find a suitable topic of conversation.

“Tell me, Mr. Solomons, why did you bring me here if you had no intention to dance or talk to me?” you asked softly. He cursed himself under his breath, realising that a small amount of time had passed since you had sat down.

“Tell ya’ the truth love, right, I’m just still in shock that your fuckin’ brothers let ya’ out” he turned to face her, “and I’m just tryin’ to find the right things to say to ya’, yeah, that won’t fuckin’ scare you away”.

“And why you would you be so concerned of scaring me away?” you raised an eyebrow slightly, your eyes focused upon his. Alfie enjoyed the unwavering confidence that you displayed, finding it an extremely rare feature in a woman. They usually trembled under his stare, but yet you gave nothing away that would imply you were feeling uneasy.

“Because, yeah, I don’t want you’re fuckin’ brothers to put a bullet in me” he chuckled, glancing away for a brief moment before meeting your eyes again, his voice suddenly becoming soft. “And because you’re the most beautiful fuckin’ woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, and I can’t imagine never bein’ able to see ya’ again angel”. He cursed himself again, annoyed at himself for how effortlessly you made his words spill out. Alfie watched as you shyly glanced away, enjoying the light shade of pink his confession made you turn.

“Come dance with me?” you asked, pushing yourself up off the chair. Alfie felt a small pang of disappointment as he watched you move further away from him, his mind spinning with excuses and ways to get you back beside him. He knew that without his cane, he would not be much use up on his feet for very long. He also feared that if you became aware of this, you’d view him as fragile and he would never see you again. A woman needed a man who would be able to protect them, and although Alfie had no doubt that he would be able too, he feared you’d think his cane would only slow you down. You were younger than him after all, and he was concerned that one day the spell you were both under would break, and you would see him for who he truly was.

“I’m afraid I’m not much of a dancer angel” he smiled warmly, leaning back in the chair. “I’ll watch you dance”. Your lips formed into a pout at his words, his eyes glancing down at them. Alfie shivered softly, imagining how soft they would be under his own.

“Come on. I’ll teach you” you grabbed him, pulling at his arm. Alfie laughed heartily, the sound surprising him- it had been a while since he had laughed like that- allowing himself to be moved up off his seat. You both made your way to a small area in front of your booth, where you were able to hear the music.

Alfie wrapped his arms around your small frame, enjoying the way you felt in his embrace. He felt you rest your head against him, hoping that you wouldn’t be able to hear the way his heart threatened to break out from his chest at your touch. He swayed in time to the music, getting lost in the sensation of your contact. He relished in how your body felt, pressed slightly up against his own, ignoring how his groin twitched. Alfie pressed his lips against your hair, closing his eyes in at your scent, a welcome difference from the strong perfume within the room that made his eyes sting.

He could get lost in this moment forever.

-------------------------------­-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was soon the end of the night, the band beginning to wind down and the crowds beginning to dwindle. Alfie had lost track of how much time had passed, with you within his arms. He admittedly did feel a little stiff, his back beginning to ache. But when he looked down at you and saw the way your face had lit up with each dance, each twinge of pain was utterly worth it.

“Think it’s time to go angel” he murmured, reluctantly pulling away from you, leading you both outside. Stepping outside, the cool night air hit your bare skin. Alfie saw you shiver, watching the way goose bumps rose upon your exposed flesh. With a shrug, he pulled off his suit jacket, and wrapped it around your shoulders, grateful for another excuse to touch you.

Leading you down the steps, he noticed the way your eyes appreciated the roses that surrounded the building. Plucking one from its stem, he pulled you close to him. He looked down gently at you, appreciating the way the moonlight accentuated your beauty, how your eyelashes casted soft shadows upon your cheeks, how your eyes glistened and looked inquisitively back into his own. He tucked the rose behind your ear, his fingers gently moving against your cheek, tingling in response to how soft your skin felt under his touch. He leaned his forehead against yours, your eyes closing as you both took in the moment.

“This wasn’t just business was it, Mr. Solomons?” your breath fell soft against his cheeks. He shook his head in response, running his hands down your arms, his eyes opening in shock as he felt you move away. He looked questioningly at you, searching for a reason as to why you had moved away so abruptly. “I need to go” you whispered, moving towards the car that had pulled up to collect you. “Goodbye Alfie”.

Alfie felt his heart sunk at the sight of you leaving, feeling unable to prevent you from departing. He watched the car drive away into the distance, making a mental note to question the driver in the morning. He sighed frustratingly, kicking up the gravel as he walked. He knew your response was justified. You both could not fall for each other, it was against everything. But yet, he knew that you felt the same as him, even after such a brief amount of time. The connection between you both was undeniable, the chemistry so strong it already began to dominate and take hold of you both. Amongst it all, the same thought kept on cruelly repeating itself in his mind.

A Shelby and Solomons where never made to work.

[almoriii]

Rules: answer 10 questions, write 10 questions for people, tag 10 people

(I will be breaking one of the rules here, I don’t have 10 people to tag :’) or I will just randomly tag people that re-blog my nonsense, I’m so sorry, strangers).

thank you @see-it-all-so-clear​ for the tag

1. What was the last piece of media that made you cry? Why (optional)?

I read a short story recently that was the sweetest thing ever and so pure and so peaceful. I was tearing up from the middle on. And by the end, I was crying. It wasn’t even sad, at least I read it as something not sad, it was just filled with emotion and I loved it so much. 

2. Do spoilers actually bother you or not? Do you ever seek them out deliberately?

This is a very complicated thing for me. If I want something spoiled, I will seek it out, but if someone spoils something I don’t want to know, I will probably never finish that. For example: my first partner spoiled Death Note when I started watching it and I have never finished it (it’s been 10 years already since then), and I also don’t have any plans to finish it ever. And I only had a couple episodes left. But if I feel like I know where the story is going and I just want to make sure I don’t send my brain to some kind of a wild chase, I might just check to confirm if I’m correct or not.

3. If you were to describe yourself using a colour palette, which colours would you use?

I would use black, greys, violets and purples. 

4. If you were a fictional character, which songs would you want people to associate you with and which headcanons about you would the audiences probably make, based on your life so far?

I have no idea about the songs, sorry? But I’d love to know what songs people associate with me irl, I think that would be so fun to know. But for the headcannons?

a) Depressed angsty witchy headstrong bastard, who gets into a lot of trouble they didn’t have to get into, because they have to solve all the problem of all the people they care about and because someone said: “You can’t do this!” 

b) Probably makes weird concoctions in the basement.

c) Has at least 12 knives and all of them have names.

d) Either clumsy as fuck or maybe it’s a curse passed down from last-born child to last-born child that makes it impossible to go a few days without a stupid injury.

5. If you were to design a card or a tarot deck, what pattern or motif would you put on the back of the cards? Would there be anything special about the deck? What would be your inspiration for the motifs?

I would probably make them black and white in the front, with just one colour added for contrast. The imagery would definitely be a bit macabre, with elements of death and decay, but also with new life from plants. The backs would probably be completely mirrorable (this isn’t a word but I know you get what I mean), with plant/foresty imagery. The colour used for the contrast would also be colour of the edge, so that when they’re stacked they’re not just plain white. I’d probably add something shiny somewhere, like a metallic sheen that can only be seen in certain lights.

6. Are there any songs that you can’t listen to anymore because they remind you of someone or something too much? Would you still choose to associate the song with them if you had the chance not to?

Not anymore, I try to disregard the pain, I guess? But in the past, there were certain songs that carried too many painful memories. Some still remind me of people or events from my past, but it’s not as painful anymore. I can’t really turn that off, the memories come back vividly whether I want them or not. I’d rather have the ability to sever the connection, so I could fully enjoy the song again.

7. Do you have any piercings? If no, are you planning on getting any? If yes, are you planning on getting more?

Yes, yes I do. And yes, I’m planning many many more, re-piercing some that closed since I had to take the jewellery out and adding some completely new. Can’t wait!

8. Which/what kind of noises do you find the most soothing? Which/what kind of noises annoy you the most?

I really like the sound of waves and water flowing and rain. But I hate sounds that have a rhythm to them, like ticking clocks, or water falling from the tap or any kind of screeching noises. Also, the noise Kayako makes in The Grudge. Fuck that.

9. Do you like reading poetry? If yes, what kind? If no, why not? (Optionally, add a poem recommendation)

I love poetry. I really don’t have a preference, I used to prefer anything connected to romanticism and decadence, but now I just like poetry for itself. For recommendations I’d say : Pablo Neruda -  Sonnet XVII (one of my favourite love poems). I only had half a coffee so far, so I can’t remember any other poets right now, sorry.

10. Which fictional characters would you say influenced your personal development the most, if any?

I don’t really think there is one? I used to consume so much books and movies and series that everything I am is more of a mishmash than one certain character. Or as I like to call it.. a Confusion.

My questions:

1. What book marked you the most and why? Did you actually finish it? Do you often reread it?

2. If you suddenly got the chance to move any place in the world and build your on safe space there, where would you go? What kind of a place would you create?

3. What is your opinion on body-modification? Do you partake in it or do you think it’s just a whim? If you do partake, what is your favourite “piece”? Optional: if you could modify anything on your body, what would it be?

4. If you met your younger self, would you try and avoid you or would you approach and try to give advice? If an older version of yourself visited you right now, would you listen to them and follow their advice?

5. What special magical ability would you choose to have, if you could? How would it help your life? Why would you choose it?

6. What is you favourite herb? Why? Do you use it?

7. People closest to you invited themselves to your place tomorrow. You want to be a good host and make something sweet to eat. What do you make? Optional: Include a recipe.

8. What is your favourite smell? Do you like scented candles, incense or oil diffusers? If you could make it smell like anything you want, what would your perfect perfume smell like?

9. If you’re home alone, do you like to sit/read/create in silence or do you need something to break itt? If yes - does sound bother you? If no - what do you listen to? Optional: include media recommendations to break the silence.

10. Do you enjoy board games? If no - what do you do to entertain when people are over? If yes, what are you favourite ones? Optional: what is a board game you always wanted to try, but don’t have friends who are into it?

Thanks to my activity page and you people reblogging my nonsense in the last week or so, I tag: @see-it-all-so-clear @arcana-majeure @notwastingtoday @whitemoths  - and this is all folks. If anyone else wants to do it, please feel free to do so! :)

[youngboy-oldmind]

DISCOGRAPHY REVIEW: 1) THE INCREDIBLE TRUE STORY ft. My Girlfriend

“Tell me what I wouldn't wanna give for a life like this, arm and a leg quite like this/ Fuck around wanna fight like this, take a hike like this/ I might just, might just, I don't know/ Reinvention, that's my intention/ Want so much more than this third-dimension/ That's not to mention my true ascension is a bigger picture/ No metaphor, I’m being real with ya”

Overall Thoughts

After the success and impressive display Under Pressure, Logic follows up with his sophomore album The Incredible True Story: A perfect embodiment of Logic as a person, rapper, and artist. Here, he is at his most creative, telling an entire story through the lens of a futuristic fictional sci-fi story. Filled with narratives, skits that give insight to the crew’s personalities, and an overall message that resonates even after the album concludes, The Incredible True Story is the perfect reflection of Logic as an artist.

If someone asked me to introduce them to Logic, I’d start with this album. If you start with a deeper, more experimental album like Everybody or a project not quite as unique like Under Pressure, they may be left unsatisfied or unimpressed. But it’s near impossible to dislike his most rounded and well-constructed project.

I’ve said this with every project of his, but the production was excellent. The techy, spacey instrumentals perfectly parallel the theme and tone of the project. The vocal inflections on “Fade Away”, “Young Jesus”, “Run It” and the choir in the first half of “City of Stars” were all brilliantly executed. Also, Logic allowed collaborations on some tracks and they were some of the highlights on the album: Big Lenbo on “Young Jesus”, Lucy Rose on “Innermission”, and Jesse Boykins III on “Paradise”. Overall, the construction of each song on this album was near perfect. It can’t be overstated.

Logic branched out stylistically on this project. On Under Pressure, each song had a relatively similar tone, which made that project very consistent yet unspectacular. The fixed tone was good for the purpose of that project but restricted him from reaching a high peak. Here, his delivery, instrumentals, and lyrical style varied and was less consistent, allowing him to reach highs like “Fade Away” and “City of Stars” while also allowing him to reach lows like “I Am The Greatest”. Despite that flaw, the unique style of the album improves its overall ranking and separates him from the issue of his last project; the issue of being indistinct and being a carbon copy of his influences. 

That’s one of the biggest strengths of this album. While I can think of other artists that could do Under Pressure or No Pressure, I don’t think anyone can do The Incredible True Story. Logic has a niche combination of lyrical talent, production skills, and geekiness that shines profusely. 

The main theme of this project is doing what you love and finding life. This theme paired the fictional nature of the album’s structure loosens the restraint on Logic. Before, he was limited by discussing his experiences and thoughts in an autobiographical way, whereas now he’s allowed to discuss things from an outside perspective and speak more prophetically.

Album Breakdown

Side Note: I will be adding comments and thoughts from my girlfriend who also loves this album. Her comments will be bolded.

1. Contact

This was extremely creative. I was instantly drawn into the music. Sounded like a soundtrack I'd hear in a movie. And the introductory conversation between the two men established a very interesting and compelling start to the album and makes it feel like I'm getting ready to start a story book. Solid start, can't wait to see what happens.

2. Fade Away

Off the rip, this track had me excited. As I mentioned earlier, the composition and instrumental is excellent. He also comes through with an intense flex of delivery and rhyming and syllable scheme construction. This is the first song I’ve ever heard from Logic and it still gets my hype every time I hear it.

The flow in this song just hit me like a truck. The lyrics were pretty good and not necessarily a brag, but more of a showcase of pride. The music was also very catchy and had my bobbing my head before he started rapping. But the flow! Absolutely loved it. Def a hype song for me.

3. Upgrade

This track transitions well from the previous song discussing kai upgrading his system. Logic discusses “upgrading” from his old life and mindset. The space background with a simple drum pattern is satisfying.

Loved how the intro music played off of the space theme established by the intro. The music was already banging, and the countdown had me anticipating what's to come. Liked how the lyrics also incorporated space elements. Somewhat simple song with somewhat basic lyrics, but overall still quite enjoyable.

4. White People (Scene)

This was super fun to listen to and I was laughing when the black guy made fun of the white-man-horror-movie stereotype. I was almost wishing for them to investigate. I am really liking this album so far. Who knew Logic was such a innovative storyteller.

5. Like Woah

Although this song doesn’t say much content wise, the vocals were pretty slick and the instrumental was constructed well. Verses were average and I found the chorus a little iffy. But overall, it’s one of the more mid tracks.

The others definitely fit the theme of the space, but this song felt more of a Top 100 hits song. The flow was not as stellar as the songs so far, definitely no Fade Away, but still steady and impressive nonetheless. Nerdy comment, but the music reminded me of something I'd hear in a video game with the female singing--maybe Zelda or Fire Emblem.

6. Young Jesus

Although this song isn’t in my top 3, it’s still one of my favorite on the album. The boom bap 90s throwback mixes well with the modern, techy sound of the album. Logic and Big Lenbo both flow perfectly; this some of the best chemistry Logic has had with another rapper, the only other contender being Big Sean. Instrumentally this song stands out the most because its composition derives so much from the rest of the track list.

This throwback to the 90s flow with a slight modern twist was fresh as hell and a very fun listen. I actually very much enjoyed Logic's flow in this song. "See I'm a self diagnosed hypochrondria/ Either at the crib, or on the tour bus, is where you'll find me at" was a fun, funky flow that had me smiling as I listened to it. Would have definitely enjoyed if he did this flow and slight drawl in words a bit more. Big Lenbo was perfect for this song. His voice has that 90s feel and his lyrics fit the bragging feel seen in old hip hop songs.

7. Innermission

Another top track on this project, “Innermission” features Logic discussing his life’s purpose and “inner mission”. Lucy Rose on the chorus is beautiful. The mellow beat allows Logic to truly dive into his thoughts without being overwhelmed by the instrumental. And I loved the skit at the end.

Not gonna lie, the music initially reminds me of elevator music, but the lyrics hit hard. Hearing his story of his home life and his friend in prison was...heartfelt? It made me introspective of my role in my friend's lives and my own background. This song has a nostalgia to it as Logic retrospects his life before reaching fame, yet an almost hopeful undertone as he contemplates why he wanted this lifestyle and how he managed to actually accomplish it. And, of course, ending the song with a child continuing the space them fully establishes the air of wistfulness as I hear the kid's innocent tone reminiscing about his home. Genius move.

8. I Am The Greatest

There are few songs that make me rush to the skip button. “I Am The Greatest” is one of them. I hate this song. The different voice clips have no rhythm or syncopation, seemingly haphazardly tossed together. The beat is underwhelming and the yelling is obnoxious. And logics lyrics and delivery are really bad. I strongly believe this should’ve been cut or put on a project like Bobby Tarantino.

9. The Cube (Scene)

As someone who can rap and solve a Rubiks cube, I found this very funny. But also ironic, since I pulled exactly 0 girls from solving it. But, Logic is a nerd and this skit fits his personality well.

So this didn't make much sense until I looked up "logic the cube" and saw some videos of him solving a Rubik’s cube. Cute that he inserted a past time into this.

10. Lord Willin’

Logic has a very distinct flow throughout this album. It's very similar in each song with similar rhythm--I find myself bobbing my head at the same speed as his other songs. Not a bad thing, but just an interesting note. I actually quite like it, though. It makes the songs in this album more harmonious and makes it feel like one long story, rather than several songs thrown together onto one album. The lyrics themselves were actually quite inspirational. I felt a sense of pride in myself swell as I listened to him overcoming and living a full life and encouraging me to do the same. 

11. City of Stars

Arguably one of the best on the album, “City of Stars” features Logic discusses his negative/toxic relationship with the hip hop industry. The spacey beat and echoey chorus vocals area AWESOME. The echo on the snare paints a visual of singing in a wide open space. Logic’s singing is above average, his use of auto-tune isn’t bad either. The beat switch to an intense boom bap and going in sent shivers down my spine. Although this has been done before, its definitely an excellently put together concept.

Also, only hip hop fans will notice but Logic incorporates patterns and lyrics from other songs: Drake’s “Forever”, Kanye West’s “Last Call” & “Two Words” of The College Dropout, and Talib Kewli’s “Get By”. Logic isn’t one to shy away from nodding to his influences, but here it feels like paying homage instead of stealing. Top 3 track.

12. Stainless

This song is 100% dope. From the vocals on the chorus, complex background in the instrumental, Logic’s intense flow and delivery, along with the content. Another top 3 on the album.

Bruuuh, this song slapped from the moment it started. The music had a flow different from the other songs, and his energy from the first few lyrics was solid as hell. I was hype and smiling not even 20 seconds in. This is a riding-with-the-windows-down-with-the-volume-blarring-on-the-highway-as-you-flaunt-your-youth-and-just-jam-hard kind of song. I would have def played this before a basketball game to get myself hype.

13. Babel (Scene)

“Babel” was the best skit by far. I think this plays well into the theme of the album: The concept of doing what you love and finding life. This skit mentions how “paradise” may not be something you find, but something you make and maintain. And on the flip side, you can also turn paradise into “purgatory”. So this journey is about creating the best and making your own incredible life instead of trying to find it. It also transitions well into the next song both musically and thematically.

14. Paradise

This was an interesting song. When he described Paradise initially, he spoke of it as a land of racial equality. I had not expected race to play a major role in this story, but it makes sense, given his background, why he would consider this Paradise. As a fellow biracial person born without a silver spoon, I can relate to his struggle. So hearing him describe this planet called Paradise, I can see why it earned that name. But the beat change. I find it interesting that he switched the message behind his lyrics up. It changed to perseverance and strength to overcome haters and obstacles and doubt. It gives me this feeling of self-worth as I push through the negativity to achieve Paradise. Interesting that he decided to include this message after describing what Paradise looks like. Did he do this to highlight the struggle it would take to get there? The challenge? Saying how "Of those around me that down and pray on my demise/But it only makes it that much better when I rise" definitely encapsulates his ability to attain Paradise. I'm not sure, maybe he did so as proof that he finally reached the top.

15. Never Been

Years ago, I used to be a hater of Logic. I used to despise when people complimented or praised him. So this song about remaining positive and persevering while blocking out negative hits even harder. He battles with fears of being inadequate while projecting a message of not letting those fears control your life and potential success. Amazing message. Musically, the track is very solid. The sped up, high pitched vocals on the chorus and outro remind me of Kanye’s style, and the simple beat isn’t distracting emphasizes the introspective nature of the song.

"Talk all you want about me homie, I'mma let it live/Hater this, hater that, say I sound repetitive/ Hatin' in your blood, you was born to be negative" now THAT is how you diss someone. If someone said this to me, I'd just walk away because what do you say to that? I appreciate that he is able to both dis and praise in a song, yet not come off as cocky and arrogant and braggy. Listening to him, it truly sounds like he worked his ass off to achieve his fame, so hearing him brush off haters and telling me I can do it too actually makes me feel like he's right. This songs has an introspective vibe as he recounts his insecurities of failing, yet how he can't afford to "let the devil in."

16. Run It

“Run It” is another very good track on the album. The flow and beat were dope and simple yet effective and pleasing. I think this song’s placement was strange. After hard hitters like “Stainless”, “Paradise”, and “Never Been”, “Run it” feels underwhelming by comparison. I could see this after between “Like Woah” and the White People Skit. But this late into the album, this song’s tone sit right. Ultimately a great song though.

17. Lucidity

“Lucidity” gives good insight on the theme of the album. Thomas describes taking for granted people on Earth having dreams and wants instead of living to find paradise. I like the concept of one’s life and story being defined by pursuing what you want. Mostly a set up for the final song, it’s still a solid scene.

18. The Incredible True Story

This track can be defined by one word: epic. From the first half with Logic’s vocals and singing, encapsulating the whole question in this album “Who Am I?”. The instrumentation is beautiful. Then the second half with the crew landing on Paradise is so powerful and well constructed. As a listener, I feel like I’m there with the crew. You can feel everyone’s fear, nervousness, excitement, anticipation, and hope.

What. An. Ending. I had no idea how Logic was going to end this and he did not disappoint. His lyrics in the beginning. The sub-sequential inspirational message of following your desires. The 2 men as they get ready to land on Paradise. All of that was flawless. My favorite part was the music change as the female finished her countdown of the landing and it changed to this soft, exploring sound full of hope. Hearing the 2 men talk in wonder as the sounds of nature slowly encompassed the music before hearing the woman say "Life" literally made me so fucking emotional, I'm tearing up thinking about it.

Final Thoughts

The Incredible True Story is the embodiment of Logic as an artist. It is strengthened by being unsafe. Under Pressure felt like bowling with the rails up. You’re definitely gonna score, and you may hit a strike on your own, but it’s just not as good as bowling without safety rails. And yes, you may hit gutters (”I Am The Greatest”), but putting everything on the table and living/creating unrestrictedly allows you to reach highs in life/art you wouldn’t otherwise reach. And I think by allowing himself to create riskily and unhindered, he fulfilled his own theme.

As an avid bibliophile, I will tell you that most sequels are shit. But damn, this album was fucking amazing. I have been sleeping on Logic. Honestly, 12/10 ending. Logic wanted to leave a statement that he could still be one of the best even after his debut album and, trust me, he proved it. This ending alone proved that he knows how to do this shit. I feel like I just finished reading a great book. Who knew rap could be like this?

Top 3 Tracks:

1) City of Stars                      1) Stainless

2) Paradise                            2) Paradise

3) Innermission                      3) Incredible True Story

Overall Grade: A+

Album Link:

https://open.spotify.com/album/5dOpbgAmJeyoakKQ0QLWkR?si=bAQ0FEA4RMupkUEspycH1Q

[hana-bean]

Ayumi Hamasaki Picks:  A Song for ×× era (1998-1999)

I’ll admit, I avoided A Song for ×× like COVID for way, way too long. Her vocals were hard to adapt to if you had only heard her I am... material and beyond. I personally found her voice high and squeaky; seemingly years and miles away from the Ayu I was introduced to at 14 years of age in 2002. There were a few tracks in their remix form I was able to stomach but otherwise, this album was an Ayumi I didn’t care to know. In fact, you’ll notice on most of these tracks I note that I prefer remixes over originals.

Within the last couple of years, I listened to this album in its entirety and ultimately fell in love. I realized now how important this debut is in considering and appreciating where Ayu started. Yes her sound is relatively high-pitched and un-Western, but it’s endearing AF. This album is able to span both sides of various spectrums: fun and sad, innocent and experienced, light-hearted and heartfelt. It exudes such a compelling, youthful perspective of love and heartbreak that I can’t help but empathize with it. Honestly, I don’t think I would feel the same emotions if this album was recorded with a more mature, older voice.

---

Rating system:

☆☆☆☆ Love - play this at my funeral ☆☆☆ Like - skippable, but still good ☆☆ Meh - this does nothing for me ☆ Hate - I’ve only listened to this once just to confirm I hated it (⭒ you might see these little guys pop up from time to time, which represent a half star because I can’t make up my damned mind)

For a couple of tracks I give two different ratings because sometimes a remixed version is better than the original.

---

A Song for ×× album tracks

Track 1: “Prologue” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like It’s a prelude. Not the best or worst, but a good one.

Track 2: “A Song for ××” Rating: ☆☆☆☆ Love Are you really even an Ayu fan if you don’t like this song? Kidding! But seriously, I think it’s safe to say that this is a very, very important song to Ayumi; if the number of its live performances aren’t an indicator, the drama from even watching one is enough to move you. One of my favorite live performances ever is from her A Museum tour—the a cappella beginning of the first verse and bridge lures you in and forces you to listen, for her only to then blow you away with the booming orchestral intensity of the chorus. GAH! Fuck me up, Ayu!

Her “030213 Session #2 Take” re-recording of it on the A BALLADS compilation album provides a more organic, and arguably more powerful listening experience. Though she is older, you still can hear the strength of her despair. Her loneliness and strong façade hasn’t left, but has only changed and grew up with her.

The “Ferry Corsten Chilled Mix” from her first ayu trance album is also a total vibe. Great remix.

Track 3: “Hana” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like I’d file this one under: “the remixes are better than the original.” I mean the original is still a good listen, but the “dub’s trance remix” and acoustic orchestra version give it more oomph and dimension respectively (both are found on the first ayu-mi-x compilation). The lyrics reflect a fear of the relative unknown, or rather, a fear of growing, only to wilt or get stepped on. And I love how her considerably sad and pensive lyrics are backed with lively arrangements; it’s one of the many things I love about her music.

Track 4: “FRIEND” Rating: ☆☆☆☆ Love This 👏🏼 song 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 underrated 👏🏼 OMG do I love this song, it’s so fucking wholesome. This track was the one which truly solidified my love for ASf××. Like if this had a music video, I can totally see it popping up on the Disney channel back in the late ‘90s with Ayu dancing at a beach carnival in a pair of Keds or something. Though this song is not devoid of sadness, there is a bit of hope to it, and it’s just simply, super pure. It’s definitely a personal fave. 

Track 5: “FRIEND II” Rating: ☆☆ Meh It’s forgettable... I’m having a hard time trying to remember how it goes. I’m sure if I heard it, I’d be like “Ohhhh yeah!” but my mind is only broken picture links rn.

Okay I’ve listened to it and for some reason I get “Song 4 u” vibes like the very beginning guitar riff sounds like the “S4u” chorus, and even the build to the “FII” chorus is similar, I almost expect “S4u” sung over this. At least she copied herself LOL I mean it’s not a terrible song, but the first FRIEND is the better FRIEND.

Track 6: “poker face” Rating: ☆☆ Meh Yes it’s her first single ev4r so like, it’s all important and shit. But I feel there are better tracks on this album which easily eclipse the song. Though it fits in well with the album as a whole. Perhaps as a single compared to only “FRIEND” it holds its own but honestly, just it being Ayu’s debut song is really the only reason why I even remember it.

Track 7: “Wishing” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like I believe this is the first (and only) slow ballad that pops up on the album, and also believe this was a good foundation laid for the rest of the slow ballads of her career. This song showcases the youth and yearn of her voice very well. Does anyone know if she has even performed this song live?

Track 8: “YOU” Rating: ☆☆ Meh (original); ☆☆☆☆ Love (”Aggressive Mix”) I’ll be real: this original track is boring. Though the “Aggressive Mix” on the first ayu-ro mix album slaps for years and I don’t even really care for Eurobeat. The “FINE MIX” on the ayu-mi-x album is also pretty groovy with that—albeit slow—reggae vibe. I’d argue any remix of this song gives it way more personality and likability. 

Confession time: back when cosplay shows at cons were just like a mishmash of skits planned the day of and walk-ons, I thought about actually doing some kind of one-woman interpretive dance to the “Aggressive Mix.” It never happened so you’re welcome. 

Track 9: “As if...” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like This is just a good bop. I love the fake-out beginning of the slow piano and then: !!!TATOEBA!!!

Also I really appreciate the bass during the verses, like it goes ~BUM BUM~ every four counts and it’s just something nice and subtle which contributes positively to the song.

Track 10: “POWDER SNOW” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like (original); ☆☆☆☆ Love (acoustic orchestra) Three words: acoustic orchestra version. Are y’all seeing the pattern here? But seriously, this song supported by the simplicity of a haunting piano completely changes the mood of this song for the better. I will agree that the original arrangement has a great buildup, but it doesn’t compare to the emotion of the acoustic version.

Also, do any of you fellow old people remember Kazaa? When I was Ayu-curious, I was looking for random songs to download and the acoustic orchestra version of “POWDER SNOW” was one of the first songs I ever downloaded (maybe that plays into my bias). 

Honestly, now that I think about it, it might have been Morpheus at the time...

Track 11: “Trust” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like Also one of the first songs I ever heard from Ayu, so I like it for nostalgic reasons. Otherwise I would have relegated this to the ‘meh’ pile. 

This is one of the first Japanese songs I ever learned to sing, so I gotta give credit to my 14-year-old self.

Track 12: “Depend on you” Rating: ☆⭒ M— (I don’t hate it, but don’t not hate it enough to warrant the full ‘Meh’) This song is overrated :D The only good thing to come from this single is “Two of us.” Next! 

Track 13: SIGNAL Rating: ☆☆⭒ Meh-eh? Well...? It’s a good track, I respect it. Not as memorable as the other songs but it fits well in the album. A good filler song.

Track 14: “from your letter” Rating: ☆☆☆ Like The very beginning with the snaps and twinkly sounds are pretty cool. The song is enjoyable and calls for some shoulder moving at least. There was a remix on AHS a long time ago by sleeperspaceborn which was pretty damned good, and in fact made me like this song. 

Track 15: “For My Dear...” Rating: ☆☆☆⭒ Like Like  Here for the drama and the high notes, shoot it straight into my bloodstream and do not resuscitate. The Acoustic Version is also a great remix, I love how she sounds like she’s screaming over the piano and guitar.

Track 16: “Present” Rating: ☆☆ Meh Like “FRIEND II” I can’t remember this song...

Ah there it is! *proceeds to forget again*

Non-album tracks:

“Two of us” Rating: ☆☆☆☆ Love I absolutely l-o-v-e this song right down to the cheesy, slow dance prom-y feel to it. Hell, even the “touch of mahogany mix” is one of the best remixes; I dare you not to at least bob your head when you hear it. This song can only be found on the Depend on You single and it’s a damn shame it didn’t make it to the ASf×× album. However maybe this can be considered her first slow ballad... but again, solid foundation. The lyrics are once again so pain-ridden and sorrowful, but then when you hear it against that funky rhythm on the “touch of mahogany mix,” you can’t help but submit to the dissonance of snapping along while in tears.

Also Xelakad provided an ah-mazing remix of this song on AHS a while back too. It seriously turns this song into a spiritual experience.

---

Average era rating: ☆☆☆ Like

If I could describe this album in two words, they would be: cohesive and precious. Yes her lyrics reflect hurt, rejection, and cynicism, but against the pop rock beats and her high voice, the album maintains an element of innocence. I believe it was a strong and consistent debut relative to her discography, as we are introduced to a young and weary Ayu who’s uncertain about the future, of love, of herself... *le sigh*

But let’s tie everything up in a nice pretty bow. For the list of Ayu’s creative bests, the common denominator is how much I really loved the drama and uniqueness of the tracks. Given that Ayu’s music style quickly evolved after this album, we conceivably don’t and won’t hear any songs like these ever again, and that’s why they’re just special.

The ‘Loves’ (only in order of track listing): A Song for ×× FRIEND POWDER SNOW (Acoustic Orchestra) YOU “Aggressive Mix” Two of us

Ayu’s creative bests: A Song for ×× POWDER SNOW (Acoustic Orchestra) For My Dear... Two of us

***

Credits: -Album art from Wikipedia -Concert screenshots from eneabba.net/ayu

Disclaimer: this post is solely my personal view and opinion. I am a Westerner with no fluency in Japanese, and so my viewpoint is shaped from English translations provided by ahsforum.com and all the feels from years of daily listening.

[arodrwho]

how to write caleb widogast voice: an unauthorized guide

step 1: be autistic

rip to allistics but listen. Listen. autisms write the best calebs & them's just the facts

step 2: embrace the em dash

vry useful for when u break off midsentence & switch tracks or slip into tangential asides or speak particularly haltingly (more abrupt than commas)

step 3: don’t worry about finishing all your--

sometimes u just gotta kinda--

and let context fill in the gaps

step 4: repetition is your friend

the same phrase three times in a row, the same sentence structure scattered throughout, the same word over and over and over as you search for the right--the right--the right--the--the--the--

the right one (even and especially if it is sometimes simple)

step 5: consider occasional parentheses

it’s about them layered thoughts y’know (the personal Asides, the emotional distance)

step 6: contractions are not always the enemy, but there’s a time & place

use of them in emotionally heavy dialogue isnot advised

use of them in the narration tho? yea why not

step 7: you, ah, you sort of, well, you know--you love filler words now?

how many should u use? idk man u jus gotta feel that in ur heart

 factor in stuff like anxiety & spoons when makin ur guesstimates tho

step 8: you may also want 2 make things questions that are not really questions?

gotta love that autistic inflection/anxious uncertainty blend?

step 9: there should at least occasionally be a kind of rhythm to the words

gotta love that autistic sing-song

step 10: big emotions make the rhythm go [static noise]

you bumble and stumble and. stop. and em dash and--repeat and. filler word and--and--and--we--and we--and we just--the record skips

(in your head aswell as outloud)

step 11: you can be fairytale eloquent outloud, but gods, at what cost

even in zemnian, this does not come entirely naturally; it is always a mask & uses up Spoons

step 12: swallow a dictionary, but season it with fresh memes

what is informal what is hyperformal, who knows, who cares, choose whichever words best convey the precise meaning & sentiment u want to express. who gives a shit if they sound strange together. certainly not u. ur too busy being Clear (& also confused when ppl think u are Not clear)

step 13: you love puns now.

perhaps they do not go in the dialogue all the time, but if it is possible for them to occur to u, they almost certainly occur to u

step 14: overexplain or underexplain

inbetween? never heard of it

step 15: sometimes you will forget a word. you will know the concept but not The Word. you will get stuck

for multilingual reasons And autism reasons (and autism reasons) (i cannot stress this enough)

step 16: metaphors can be terribly confusing but u kind of think in them a lot

things just make more sense when compared to other things w/which u are already familiar & which u already have associations for!!

rip if other ppl use them tho, u ain't got th context then,,

step 17: learn how to write nott. sporadically steal fragments of some of her speech patterns

step 18: the same thing, but with beauregard

step 19: the same thing, but with the rest of the nein

step 20: the same thing, but with trent ikithon

double your outloud metaphor usage tbh. caleb always uses more metaphors when he's channeling trent (telling the group trent's worldviews? check. talking to the scourger, both times? double check.)

step 21: u love nicknames

referring to ppl by casual first names? god that's so intimate. Fuck. No. that's for notts only thanks.

(the others, of course, in time. but when they are not around, mentioning them to other ppl? ohh all bets r off !!)

step 22: ur realbig on i-statements, jus in general

are u discussing feelings? assigning blame? sharing opinions? talking abt the weather? u'll prolly throw exclusively i-statements in there

step 23: infodump, but remember that infodumps are primarily intended as conversations, not lectures

ergo they follow th standard conversational patterns; thoughts are logically connected & sentences should flow 1 into the next with relative ease. they should not b Random Disjointed Fun Facts. they should b a rabbithole of info. u want Depth, not Breadth

(also. u want ppl to b excited With u. if ppl are Not u can generally tell b4 too terribly long & Will stop)

step 24: u got catchphrases! use them wisely!

what's wisely? that's up to u 2 decide. like filler words, u gotta feel that shit in ur heart

step 25: if u are in Emotional Distress. ur words will occasionally tell u 2 go fuck urself entirely

sometimes all u can do is "mm" 2 the intimidating wizard in the tower until u are Repeatedly Pressed. sometimes u can't even do that. words are bastards u know

to conclude: Yes

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Hidden Gems of the Silver Screen (And, to a Lesser Extent, the Telly)

It can’t have escaped your notice that the majority of my more recent posts (and fuck knows I’m not posting regularly at the moment) are about movies and TV. The reason for that is pretty simple: 2019 has, surprisingly, yielded some great movies and TV... and also some really torrid shite. On the one hand, films like Ma, Brightburn and The Perfection continue to breathe new life into the horror genre. On the other hand, sci-fi as a cinematic and televised thing continues to ignore its actual audience in favour of sniffing its own farts in a sound-proof chamber designed specifically for next-level virtue-signalling. One thing I will say about the dreck of 2019 is that it’s interesting dreck, at least so far. Another Life, for example, isn’t just bad: it’s mind-bogglingly, fascinatingly bad, as though someone set out to make the worst TV series imaginable and accidentally created a portal to another dimension made entirely of crap.

With all the amazingly wonderful and transifxingly terrible visual media on offer lately, it’s easy to forget that there’s a rich repository of films and TV series from just a few years ago that you’ve probably never watched. You see if you, like me, are a snooty, card-carrying member of the elitist intelligentsia, you probably missed films and TV series that looked dumb as soup on the surface on the grounds that they weren’t worth your time. Luckily for you, I’ve dived nose-first into the detritus of our dying culture, so you don’t have to, and I’ve ferreted out the diamonds from the pig-swill. Without further ado, I’d therefore like to present my list Easily Overlooked Gems.

1. Mandy The phrase “Nicholas Cage stars in a sword-and-sorcery rape/revenge thriller” does not inspire confidence. It’s therefore easy to ignore Mandy and the promptly forget it ever existed. Which is a shame, because it’s kind of a work of genius. The plot is exactly what you’d expect: a cult kidnaps, rapes and kills Cage’s girlfriend, Mandy, and Cage sets out on a mission of revenge culminating in a blood-bath. The nature of the revenge quest is what puts a sting in the film’s tail- or tale, if you’re feeling puntastic. You see, a lot of the bad guys exist in a constant hallucinatory haze after taking a drug that sent them mad after one dose. In order to fight on their level, Cage has to take a dose too. As a result, the world around him slowly but surely transforms into a nightmare landscape that looks like a cross between a D&D illustration and the cover of a heavy metal album and his grubby, personal mission of fury takes on the unmistakable resonance of a Conan-esque hero’s quest. By the end of the film, you have to wonder if Cage has actually slipped into some sort of alternate dimension or if he’s just lost his game-pieces completely. In places, it’s nearly as painful to watch as Landmine Goes Click (crikey, there’s one for the history buffs) but it looks and feels like Beyond the Black Rainbow. Worth your attention just because of how weird it is. I give it a solid four-out-five decapitated rapists.

2. Baby Driver Nothing about Baby Driver suggested it would be a good film: the way it was advertised as a car-chase movie trying to be cute; the stupid title; the fact that it came and went through cinemas like a fart in the night. Which is a shame, because it’s secretly brilliant. It’s a highly stylised crime film populated with the archest archetypes money can buy (to the point where some of the dialogue has a weirdly beat-poetic feel to it). It’s saturated colour palette and off-beat affect actually have something of a full-colour Jim Jarmusch flick about them. The hook, of course, is that the lead character (only ever referred to as Baby, because he’s got a punchably youthful face) has tinnitus and therefore has to listen to music constantly to drown at the buzzing in his head. The practical upshot of this is that a) every single scene is overlayed with surprisingly great and situationally appropriate music and b) he goes through life like he’s always dancing, so his way of moving lends to the film’s easy-going sense of flow. It also explains where his preternatural driving skills come from (I mean, not really, but within the context of the plot): he’s used to sliding effortlessly into patterns and rhythms because of the music thing. All of this could make a terrible film, of course, but execution is everything and, to everyone’s surprise, especially mine, this flick was executed with an astonishing level of panache. I rate it ten out of ten grizzly motor way pile ups.

3. Nightflyers It’s not just films that get overlooked as the tide of culture washes back and forth, like a great big sea of effluent. TV series also vanish unduly into the dustbin of history. Case in point, the criminally underappreciated Nighrflyers: Netflix pre-Another Life sci-fi offering that was actually good. It’s a pretty classic set-up: a group of mismatched wing-nuts on a spaceship, all of whom have secrets that that will threaten to tear them apart while they try to make contact with an alien life-form. What elevates Nightflyers is just how fuck-uped the cast are. There’s an angry British psychic whose spent his whole life in captivity in case he goes full Scanners on somebody’s head, a guy who only ever appears as a hologram for reasons too twisted to explain here, his evil mother whose uploaded her mind to the ship’s computer and gone batshit crazy, a genetic superbeing and a hacker who can send her mind into computers via a dodgy implant and who may or may not be drifting out of touch with the human condition. It’s great. 6 and half billion out of 7 billion monkeys, boiling in the void.

4. Hardcore Henry No, I don’t know who thought that title was a good idea either, but the point is that Hardcore Henry has no motherfucking right to kick as much arse as it does. It was clearly made on a budget that would embarrass a Youtube shampoo commercial, but it just flat-out rocks. Shot entirely in first-person, it follows the adventures of a mute cyborg as he seeks revenge against the bastard psychic entrepreneur who first built him then tried to kill him. Along the way, his main ally is a dude who keeps dying and coming back to life in a series of identical bodies but with radically different personalities and haircuts (this is eventually explained, but I’m not going to spoil it for you). It’s premise is demented, it’s surprisingly well-choreographed and its soundtrack is an aphrodisiac for your ears. Also, Tim Roth is in it, so that’s just yer seal of quality right there. It came out to a lot of fanfare and many, many cinema trailers back in the day and was then promptly forgotten about as soon as it launched. So I’m dragging it kicking and screaming back into the limelight. It’s on Netflix right now, so go watch it. I rate it a solid 11 out of 15 creepy duplicates of Tim Roth.

5. Upgrade Another lesser-known film about a cyborg. Unlike Henry, however, this cyborg’s life doesn’t so much ‘rock’ as ‘suck balls’. He gets crippled and then ends up with a sentient computer chip in his head that allows him to remote-control his own body despite not having a working spine anymore. Naturally, his experimental tech attracts the attention of some unsavoury characters and he and his brain-chip have to work together to figure out what’s going on, often through a series of ultra-violent, gory fight-scenes that horrify the protagonist himself. Of course, all might be well, except that the head-chip is a homicidal little shit that clearly has its own agenda. I give it at least 0000 0111 out of 0000 1001 painstakingly restored vintage kill-bots.

6. The Tick The Tick isn’t as overlooked as everything else on this list, especially since there have been a couple of previous televised incarnations of the franchise to lay the groundwork. However, I still feel like the modern iteration doesn’t quite get the love it deserves, so I’m throwing it out here. Following the adventures a mad, amnesiac and possibly stupid superhero and his neurotic sidekick, The Tick explores a world where superheroes aren’t the paragons of good from classic comics, the corrupt psychotics of The Boys or Watchmen, or the eternally struggling, walking moral life-lessons of modern cinema. Instead, they’re just ordinary people operating at various levels of competence/incompetence and mental illness and working within a bureaucratic, wildly inefficient framework. That might not sound like a recipe for a successful TV series, but it really is. Drawing out the mundane, human side of heroes and villains against the backdrop of cataclysmic, civilisation-threatening events makes for infinitely compelling and very, very funny viewing. It’s kind of doing for the superhero genre what Futurama did for sci-fi a few years back. It’s also where the phrase and/or popular song ‘seven billion monkeys boiling in the void’ comes from. My rating is four out of five sapient, homosexual boats (which will make sense when you watch it).

7. The Void Amid the high-budget horror extravaganzas of recent years, it’s easy to forget about the void, which feels like the best story H.P. Lovecraft never wrote and looks like David Chronenberg tried to adapt a Heironimous Bosch painting... in the ‘80s. The actual plot concerns a group of people getting trapped in a hospital by murderous cultists and discovering dark secrets and, arguably, a whole other dimension in its basement. You’re not exactly there for the plot though: The Void is a mood-piece and an exercise in visual FX craftsmanship. You’re there to drink in the atmosphere and see what each new cosmic horror looks like. I am delighted to award it ten out of ten unspeakable whisperers in the darkness. That’s enough for two barbershop quartets, an emcee and a supporting act.

8. Happy Death Day It’s Groundhog Day but as a horror film starring a really annoying lass in her late teens has to keep dying horribly until she learns to stop being such a terrible person... and also kill her murderer with a little help from her newly-minted, non-cunty friend. There’s a sequel that I haven’t seen yet, but the original is a low-key, oft-overlooked delight. I give it 9 out of 11 suspiciously similar corpses.

[b4dluckbin]

I am evil but- 1 to 50, answer them all!! hahaha (if you only want to do this for one oc- then michaleas)

Hello, I hate you. I'm also not going to cut this because I have no idea how so have fun everyone.

This is for Michaleas Lament.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

His full name is Michaleas Ermiah Lament. First part is because Michael,,, sounds tOO WHITE. Ermiah I came up with my myself but looking into it, it is kinda close to Ermias or Jeremiah. Hmmmm. Lament? He's a sad boi.

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

One personal title he was given while in the military was "The Lamenting Giant". It was more to poke fun at their commander more than anything because of how tall he was and usually he has a distant, kind of sad look on his face like he was constantly thinking.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

Yes he did- until he was 9. It was pretty modest but comfortable until then. Fond memories he had would be are listening to his mother hum as he helped her clean around their little house, and looking over his fathers woodwork that he sold in town. For the last bit..... *SCOFFS* His entire life after 9 years old. That's all chock full of bad memories but if I have to limit it of his childhood,,, everything from 9 to 20 years old.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

He knew both his father and mother! He had a very good relationship with them both. They were very nurturing but stern when they needed to be (like when he wanted to go outside or into town with his father). A good memory he has of them is just them sitting together for dinner and his father telling him stories about the places he had been when he was younger.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

He has no siblings.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

He never went to school. He was taught what his father and mother had learned.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

He didn't have any childhood friends as he was cooped up in his house until he was 9. Then he was enslaved for about 10 or so years.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

No he didn't have any pets. He is neutral about animals.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

He's never really interacted with animals before.

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

.... CONNA YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXCLUDED SOME OF THESE- Oh god... He thinks children are cute from a distance but are very annoying. He has a son named Adiren. Because of the situation (no I'm not saying it to validate him in just trying to be like vague with how I'm saying this. He is a terrible father in main canon) he was a neglectful father. But in AUs I've had for him he is decent. He's just a tad bit over protective. As a god father? Uhhhh depends on if this is AU or Canon dad Michaleas. If it was an AU and all is Gucci then he'd be decent enough at being a caregiver. If it was main story well- he wouldn't really be worried about them.

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

Michaleas is actually not allergic to anything. Except love. Also no, this big boi is a meat eater.

12. What is their favourite food?

Steak and potatoes.

13. What is their least favourite food?

Id have to say maybe fish? He doesn't really like the smell.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Stew,,, his mother made that a lot.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

He is actually fairly decent at cooking! He does enjoy it because it's something to take his mind off of whatever he's currently thinking about. He's been told it's really good but he doesn't,,,, care for compliments.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

If there is a flower he has never seen before you best believe he will press it into his journal.

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

Lmao in a modern AU? He'd probably have a little blog or something dedicated to flower pictures. He won't take a picture of himself because he hates how he looks.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

If my boy was literate, I'd say he'd be into adventure stories. He loves acoustic jams because he plays the guitar. Tv or films??? Maybe family movies and comedys. Video games?????? Medieval-esque stuff. He'd be too into Dark Souls and rhythm games.

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

Tragedy (They just make him sad). For music it's anything too loud.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

I don't think he'd be a fan of musicals very much. Music in general? He likes. If his favorite song were to come on he'd probably just sit and hum along with a smile.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

*insert laugh meme* Yeah. Yeah he fucking does and his blood curse revolves around it. Oh boy he's prone to yelling.

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

He likes to use the word "privileged" a lot against people that are acting out.

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

He has a good memory but he can remember faces better than the names that correspond to them.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

It isn't much sleeping as it is lying awake and staring at the wall. When he does sleep ooooh yeah he snores. Not like,,, super loud but noticeable. He likes a more soft bed because hard beds make his back hurt.

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

,,, he has a dark sense of humor unless it's just something you really can't have a straight face at. Someone almost choke on bread? He will have a fit. He isn't really one for telling jokes himself.

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

When Micha is happy he usually just has a smile plastered on his face for a while. He is capable of singing but doesn't like doing it, so he opts to humming. He doesn't know how to dance.

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Remembering his past trauma. No he doesn't cry regularly and if he feels he will he will hide off somewhere and call himself a dumb ass. When he's sad he's desolate. He makes himself scarce and when he is around you get that brooding feeling.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Going back to the slave ring. Nothing really scares him. Maybe little jump scares but eh. When he's actually fucking terrified? He will close up on himself and leave. Fast.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

Like Kai it really just depends on what the fear is. Spiders? You can handle that yourself. Groups of unknown people in an unknown place? Yeah no, come here and walk with him now so he can watch out.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Post military Michaleas hardly worked out any more, but when he was still there? Totally.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Oh gOD THIS IS PART OF THE PROBLEM WITH HIM BEING A PARENT. He falls into a deep depression because of some shit and picks up drinking more so than he did before in the military. He really just wants to forget so badly. When he's hungover he's a complete asshole. When he's drunk it's just sad boi hours.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

He gets his clothes at any normal clothing store. Nothing fancy at all just basic shirt and pants. Sleeping is just pants no shirt. His hair? Messy short brown hair parted in the middle with Short cut bangs.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Hi, the image of granny panty Micha is scared into my brain thanks- boxers my fam.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body

Me, explaining Micha to anyone: Bara. But,,,, smaller,,,, he's like 6ft6-6ft7. Does he like his body? Eh. He doesn't like the scars that litter it.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

Guilty pleasure? Spending time with a certain fucking vampire. Unguilty pleasure? He likes,,,, sweets.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

He's good at playing the guitar and fighting. If he was allowed I'm sure he'd pick up gardening. Who knows if he can sing? :3c

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

*quietly sobs* he's shit at reading.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

How some people can go about their lives so easily without a care in the world.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

Talk to him,,, face to face. Dont be a coward.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

I mean,,,, does trauma count as a natural way to stay awake and alert? Because I feel like it is personally.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

*leans into mic* He's gay. He is more both when it comes to someone. He needs someone who isn't just using him for,,, sex because hi- sex drive? There, but honestly kind of hates it. He wants someone to talk to and help him through his bad moments. Someone who won't talk shit to him about being weak because he does that to himself enough.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

*leans into mic further* To be able to have a decent relationship with said vampire from earlier.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

He isn't religious at all. He's Atheist actually. He thinks they're just sheep following a Shepherd. Non religious people, in his eyes, are smart to see through that shit.

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

Michaleas likes the time around the end of winter because that's when the flowers start to bulb up. He thinks its beautiful. He fucking hates the heat. You can't escape it.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

They look to him as something like a pillar. He doesn't waver and they believe if they try hard enough they won't either. Which is,,,, completely different than how he sees himself. He hates hIMSELF AND THINKS HE'S WEAK LMAO.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

I mean,,, no. He's very fucking blunt with his observations of people. Yes and no with reflecting him accurately. He is very observant but he isn't like,,, that when you warm up to him. He plays around more and talks shit. Michaleas introduces himself as such. Michaleas.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

He hates fancy events. He will wear what he has to but he isn't going to have his tie tied or creases ironed. He doesn't give a shit. He wants to leave.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

Regular parties where he can just drink and have fun? Totally. No one prissy there just a bunch of rough dumbasses. He doesn't plan parties he just turns up if he hears about it and is like "where is the booze".

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

He doesn't have anything like that. He has his sword for protection so I mean that counts as a need everywhere and anywhere. Edit: I lied. He has a journal with pressed flowers he normally has on him always.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Water, food, things to start a fire, tools and his sword.