#I guess he has time to change but idk
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I wish the way Tommy became a bad person didn't make me hate his character so much, because as much as there are some annoying things about C!Tommy, he was still an interesting character
#discourse#tommyinnit#I cant even really enjoy fanart of him anymore#i keep remembering that his creator is a dick and I feel all the enjoyment leave me#wait i feel like this needs a#vent#this kinda sucks because I always kept the idea that hating your younger self for loving something is stupid#but then I look at the sweater I have and just feel bad#I guess he has time to change but idk#i dont think I'll ever be able to enjoy his content again
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these lines hit different when you read utena as transmasc
#i mean the first one is really awful regardless.#pretty sure i read somewhere that the words akio uses means something along the lines of 'you really should remain a child'#as opposed to 'you really should remain the gender that you are.' which speaks to his whole thing about keeping these kids from growing up#and there's So Much in anthy's line even without hypothetical misgendering#anyway the au where utena has already transitioned by the time he gets to ohtori is really good#and i of course have lots of headcanons about post-ohtori utena and gender#but i've been thinking about one where he's actively questioning while he's there and is not out to anyone.#and i guess not a lot would really change but akio's attempt at making utena more feminine would have a whole other layer of awful to it#and unfortunately i think in this scenario the first person he would come out to would be akio. which is so sad#like maybe it could be anthy but idk. i think it would be something he'd be apprehensive to be open about with her#(in the show utena does tend to be more vulnerable with akio than with anthy. at least the vulnerability with him comes first.#he's her go-to person for advice in the black rose arc and utena doesn't really begin opening up to anthy like that until the third arc)#maybe i should write something for this au. i can see it so clearly.#utena talking about his confusing gender feelings in one of those black rose scenes in the planetarium#and akio doing that thing where he sounds supportive and helpful but absolutely isn't.#that fake sympathy that's actually really patronizing and condescending and dismissive but subtly enough that utena doesn't realize it#and THEN the contrast when utena finally talks to anthy about it and she empathises by talking about her own confusing gender feelings#(transfem anthy realness !!!!!)#oh wow i did not mean to write so much in the tags#revolutionary girl utena#utena tenjou#my posts
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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@courgowr: Huntmaster came to Solemnace prior to biotransference from an unnamed dynasty and appears to have been a notable figure in his own right. Perhaps to reflect this, he is now consistently 'the' Huntmaster and not just 'Huntmaster' like he was in previous texts, and also more lovingly insane
#courgowr#huntmaster#deathmark#trazyn the infinite#idk why i thought he was one of the saner people in solemnace tbh#also my kindle died on me twice while reading this and it has amped the urgency to get a new one#i've only had it for eight years i guess it was time to change
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do you think the fact that its never stated that anthea and concordia's last names are "harmonia gropius" like it is for n and ghetsis is intentional. like it may just be because they're severely underutilized, but n and ghetsis had their names specifically stated in the directors columns and a fan meeting respectively.
n mentions he was given the name harmonia, did ghetsis withold that name from anthea and concordia on purpose? if he did, why? he'd still need them to trust him, so they'd keep raising n in his place. not sharing that name is maybe an effort to distance himself, maybe he only cared about n having that level of trust with him?
#clai speaks#alder trying to fill out government documents for them bc ghetsis never did and finding its a nightmare#''what do you mean you Don't have a last name'' ''fath-- ghetsis didnt give either of us one'' ''n has one??'' ''we're not n i guess''#ooo do you think n and by extension a&c would change their last name#n holds on to it for a very long time i think. idk if he would ever actually get rid of it but sometimes i think about it#learning to slowly let go of his awful past and his awful excuse of a dad yknow#but also just thematically. the name fits him too well HDUGDHF#cant imagine n being called anything but natural harmonia gropius. its also such a pretty name#i'm getting offtopic. i've never even seen Fans call them ''anthea harmonia'' or whatever its JUST Anthea/Concordia#its just interesting to me that the reveals for n and ghetsis were so deliberate and its radio silence on a&c
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Tfw the wind blows your hat away AGAIN and you gotta go find it in the middle of a blizzard atop a mountain by yourself
#pokepasta#snow on mt silver#fnf#friday night funkin#hypno's lullaby#fan art#my art#frozen red#sorry for the dumbass text AHAHAHJSBDFHJ i had to do it#chachalaco ramble incoming. you've been warned ->#trying to figure out this Red so he doesn't look like Glitchy lol#And I wondered. maybe hair looks a bit more disheveled??#since i already apply the hc of longer hair to Glitchy (but perhaps shorter ends idk)#so maybe frozen Red also has longer hair but not as much. maybe he needs a comb /j#im still giving that jacket to him btw why tf is he wearing no warm clothes up THERE!!!!#i was just thinkin about this guy for a bit... like. 3 years on a freezing mountain?? by yourself??#ik this is the pokepasta one so he just. Dies AJKNFDJKS#but idk man that utter isolation must had affected him in some way. Isn't he tired? Physically I mean. But i guess mentally too#as someone that went thru smth similar (isolation not. climbing a mountain and being there for 3 years(???). Such an experience changes you#For a very long time. sometimes even forever. it takes time to be social again and get used to people#(although in my case was 4 years not 3. not relevant tho AHAHAHJDS)#isn't that crazy too. you climb this mountain in johto and some 20 year old is already there--oh shit what the fuck the kanto champion#these thoughts can be applied to canon Red too i guess🤔 (excluding the uh. dying in mt silver part AHAHAHJDSBFHJ)#it's JUST!!! -shakes this man- for heaven's sake stop isolating yourself holy shit it's worrying#Also add the fact he's probably famous in some way right?? or at least Known. guy became Champion at a rather young age#I mean no wonder he barely talks when he's present in other games. I know its for the ''haha silent protagonist'' joke but. HMMMMMM#maybe I can self-project /lh. a silent guy that mostly communicates thru short sounds or gestures (like a nod or shaking his head)#and only actually talks when he's more comfortable with whoever is talking to him. mostly short sentence but he opens up a bit more#Oh god I went fucking. Thesis Mode on Red i'm so sorry AHAHJDSFHJDS
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the ultimate act of self love is shipping your old and new fursona 😌
(click for better quality obv tho i had no motivation for a background or shading lol)
#furry#furry art#furry oc#oc: azazel#fursona#anthro art#furries#idk how to tag this hah#moje arty#azazel looks the exact same every time i draw him idk why xd#he has one expression your honor#im not a furry artist okay im not very good at it xd#it looks like a weird collab but inge (the bunny) is supposed to have a weird look about her#they are actually drawn in different styles as a nod to the way i draw my fursona changing i guess xd#eyestrain#bright colors#oc: inge
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my doctor was sooooo fucking worthless and unhelpful im going to masturbate and i hope it fucking kills me
#“no need for follow up”#“yeah you did have several cysts we scrapped off your remaining ovary but. dw about it. idk why they were there. dw about it. oh also your#ovary on that side was freakishly huge but. dw about it. it might go away. dw about it#*doctor shrug emoji* “#“go see a gyno next year maybe. but not me im too important for that. go find and onboard a gyno to your situation. next year maybe idk lol”#he barely even looked at my incision like#this fucking appointment could have been an email. or a phone call. or they just could have let me start driving again. also i forgot to ask#if i can stop drinking ensure now or after the 6 weeks? cause that shit cost $$$$. but he probably would have been super unhelpful if i had#fr fr this guy only wanted to give me the time of day when he thought i might have fun cancer inside and now he's like gtfo!!!! get your#fugly cancerless ass out of here!!!! recover from a major surgery on your own you swagless cancerless loser 🤣 we arent helping your#swagless ass!!!#anyway it seems weird and fucked up that im was never offered to see a physical therapist and i guess am going to have to blindly trust my#abs they sliced thru are healing or whatever and to rawdog my own physical recovery of my muscles? even just dumb shit like. my center of#gravity has drastically changed since the mass removal and my back hurts like shit all the time because all my posture muscles were built up#for when i had an extra 30 pounds of cyst hanging in the front and my posture and walking reflected that. and i lowkey don't know how#hard i am able to be with my healing incision because its really tight and makes me hunch forwards still. like i would really like to know#how much i can safely or maybe should be forcing my skin and incision to stretch. without damage? is that crazy#am i crazy???#this shit is why i didnt see a doctor for 2 years until my problems had snowballed into a 30 pounds ovarian cyst that was crushing my other#organs and had one of my kidneys all backed up with piss. and even getting emergency treatment for it everyone was like. how did you like it#get this bad?? how could you not know you needed to seek medical treatment???? like. bro. seeking medical treatment isnt even a guarantee to#get medical treatment.#anyway he said my “remaining ovary seemed low key polycystic but dw about it. don't quote me on that im not dealing with it.”#bro i dont want to doctor google it i wanted an actual doctor to deal with it. fuck you.#like. maybe even a doctor who knows my situation so i dont have to struggle with getting someone to believe me and take me seriously.#but whatever. back to trying to figure out the daily protein and extra calories my body needs for recovery via doctor google i guess.#its fine 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬
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i started having actual stress dreams about arguing with my dad about israel and then tonight he argued with me about israel ummmm i kinda wanna kill myself right neooowwwww
#not tryinf to be self centered i just feel really horribly sick right now. Lol#Hi guys have you heard about. the TUNNELS. and CCCHHHAMASSS#It’s so disturbing the way he talks and i feel so gaslit by the rest of my family about it#idk i just cant stop myself from responding and trying to counter him because i cant just let the things he says be unchallenged#because they are so heinous and evil and disgustinng!!!! but it clearly will never change his mind or point of view and nothing has ever#worked and i have an extended anxiety attack every time it happens so what even is my option here. Kms i guess
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society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.
#on a serious note this changes a lot actually. annabeth and percy would not be in chb anymore so when percy goes missing#its like. a genuine possibility and fear because demigods don't make it that old. there is also some added time between tlo and tlh as well#further adding to jasons isolation as being even WEIRDER than everyone else. he also would've been praetor for longer so maybe the romans#wouldve cared more. this also does away with the plot hole of ppl not giving a shit that jason piper and leo (and dylan) straight up#dipped. introducing piper especially to a summer camp makes chb less appealing because they're too old for that and thus makes their#departure from chb make more sense in toa. yet also it opens up the possibility of new rome uni.... which i cannot see any reason as to why#leo would not go there!!!!! outside of being banned cuz he bombed new rome lol. but pipers sexuality arc works for college too!!! ur never#too old to find urself. but also this is the question of if you are able to relatively function in society (this is more for piper leo fran#and i guess percy) then why would you even fight this prophecy??? anyway lol them being college aged is perfect cuz percy is literally#going to a new place and having a new transition with new ppl... like u do in college LOL. now the question is would hazel still be 13. nic#is a lot older at this point and perhaps has the same age gap as bianca and him did 🤔 cant remember. but also don't know why hazel was 13#in the first place lol. idk. in my college hoo she is just a senior in hs about to graduate from spqr and thinking about staying there or#possibly going to newru after seeing frank make the decision the previous year! SAD!#anyway in hoo. percy and annabeth are sophomores. frank and the lost trio are freshman.#but then in toa. percy annie frank and the lost trio are all graduating cuz percy got held back and Annabeth failed after tartarus fr.#but then also know that piper never went to newru and is adamant about going to mortal uni. and leo kills in newru but is bored. nvm i#forgot he died 🧍♂️ ummmmmm ok. ignore leo. and jason actually. so um. ok that really threw me off but are u getting it. that's when apollo#is like 'heeyyyyy i need help pwease 🥺' and they're all like 'dude.'#OK!#but also i ackowedge that this is a children's book and i am not its demographic so god be with you.
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DIANA x ALBERT WESKER / template.
#mine.#pair: ewskers#oc: diana#click for better quality ♡#posting this before i start changing more things lmao but yes i went nuts and made my own psd from scratch... don't look at me#changed ages to birth years cause of how much time passes in the story!! and also gives cheeky fc for you hehe runs away#the checkboxes make me scream like he almost had a clean sweep it's so funny. and he could've had one more i'm not even joking. cause their#first kiss was technically both of them... like idk how to explain this but they were already standing close then diana moved even closer#and was tracing his jaw and such and they were just lingering while holding eye contact but he was the one who actually closed the distance#so i mean... yeah. she was just about to and he beat her to it!! but diana made the move to get them into that position in the first place#is what i mean. i just couldn't give him more it was already too hilarious lmao#can't tell if i like the lil icons but i can't doodle so peace and love on planet earth but yes i'm happy with how this came out hehe#clueless levels are cause they are clowns <3 i have a lot of thoughts about all that but yes they both take hints in some aspects but i#think they both have trouble telling if they are genuine or not or if they are misreading the situation or whether something is romantic or#not (unless ofc it's over the top and ridiculous. ahem. excella. cough. explodes her with my mind) but yeah hit him with the tism so he's#learnt how to read people very well as he's gotten older but i think when it comes to actual just genuine like wanting to get to know#someone and not just someone wanting to get in his pants he seconds guesses it a lot. and diana's all stems from being rattled by her past#experiences oughguhh and i mean her not actually having experienced proper feelings for someone until him lmao but she's got trust issues#also there were so many tropes i could use (thank you to bestie elliot for helping me finds names of things) but i had to do i got you a#drawer specifically because that moment has such a special place in my heart!! like i need to finish the wip where i talk about that cause#it makes me so silly i'm not even joking#anyway omg i hope the mentions work because doing this on the legacy editor after copying the html for beta one because the image just#didn't want to work in the beta image for some reason rip
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Nothing against low level jobs really, but one of our engineering techs was only a food service worker before this. Like an associates does something for you (don't know if that's what he has even he may be a student) I guess, but no wonder these guys aren't ready for engineering.
#totes bro#its.......a long term investment#i now know that these guys are techs because he said he was an engineer#what i do isnt hard and i guess theyre only supposed to assist but i havent seen any of them assist so idk what they do#i dont think we had engineering techs before i think it is just desperation#they're also not young#so schooling has left the brain a little#i know this sounds bad but they keep asking for me to teach them a thing and they stay at my desk for an hour#and god knows they like .....dont understand really basic technical concepts#and tbqh i do not have time for this#so now i know why I'm the favorite and the only one working. the other engineers have also complained about the new recruits#like you say 'lipids' and they dont know what you mean its just like extremely frustrating when theyre supposed to be#doing exactly what you do on more simple projects#but they absolutely cannot do that. like i get not being able to understand a super large system but they cant get like what fittings used#its frustrating because engineering isnt always low stakes#its not high stakes but a mistake can shut down a highway (happened recently)#ALSO the least qualified people always call themselves engineers#also i just changed from mechanical to civil engineering it is new for me#its still fluids somewhat which is what i was doing
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MY MC AGAIN BUT BABYGIRLIFICATED?? BABYGIRLIFIED??????/??? FINN!!!1!!!
Didnt like his design... so i remade him! hopefully he looks 39 years oldsie
also Mammon bc yeah oc x canon is kinda fun
Bonus stuffs (lore-y) below! (CW: really bad drawn corpses and graves)
So um!!! If you want info abt them, its all in this post! I spent a lot of time and had lots of fun writing their lore, and these little doods i made r just to expand on it:::
Some doodles of angies redesign!! i havent changed much thankfully but i added a little vest with the puffer jacket bc im fashionless and so are they (also, bonus:: the doll is possesed by someone called God Of Destruction but i kinda dont have a clear design for them ok? ok)
This is lore related, when Angie wakes up from his 18 year nap (i am inconsistent as i am a flop so ignore in the og post if it says like 20 year or smth its 18 now) and meets his guardian angel, Angelina!
Angst that explains a bit abt Finn's grief abt Angie "dying", also Bee drawing! shes Finn's big sister if anyones hasnt read the lore n its wondering
And another one abt them reuniting!
#obey me#obey me mc#oc x canon#my art#robbies ocs!#obey me mammon#just a little bit of dilf alr? i cannot draw him atm#i guess this is#slightly suggestive#???#I dunno if anyones gonna be interested or if its gonna flop again but yeah! these r my mcs!#theyre very dear to me so i'll keep drawing them#maybe with all the characters next time? im still gaining experience an all that#Also it has been so weird bc ive changed styles at least like twice these last few months#what hyperfixiation does to a mf ig#ANYWAYS!! next up is the truest babygirl: simeon#and baby luke as well bc idk why hes one of my fav characters in the game
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listen i get it. i GET IT. Claire is SUPPOSED to be the manic pixie girl. She literally takes Carmy to an Adult College Party that makes him feel normal and experience things he missed out on so I GET IT. shes carmens normal that he never got to experience......BUT.
it leads to nothing. the ending of that relationship is nothing. i think id hate it less if it happened after carmen gets out of the walk in and hes dead set on ending the relationship. they wouldnt even need to show it just imply it. and like i dont blame claire for hearing all that and going "oh i dont want to date someone who feels like this about me" because WHO WOULD but i just cant agree with the way they got there. they were set on paralleling episode 07 s1 with carmen having a big blowup and it didnt work AT ALL. specially cuz youd expect a carmen post episode 07 would try to be calmer and trust on his staff which he has been shown to be doing for the whole season?????
listen i know the consequences of your actions can be frustating but making your character take steps back in development for a breakup scene.......i dont know.
maybe i am insane AND a hater but its such a non rewarding scene in any way it frustrates me. why r u doing this to me etc etc
#like i cant say it was out of nowhere bc he was so on edge the whole time but also.#you cannot have a carmen who gave his knife to tina and is constantly trying not to fight sydney and trusts richie have a tantrum#i just cant agree with that. like you cant make this s2e9 and s1e7 be parallels to show how everything has changed#if carmen still loses his shit like this#like before i get it cuz he didnt trust anyone but now????? you didnt need to be screaming crying throwing up the whole time you were there#idk someone tell me im wrong and insane#the bear#the bear fx#the bear hulu#i guess is nothing because claire will be back but honestly. not looking forward to it#like ive had enough alright for s3 im manifesting carmen hanging out with literally anyone in his staff#youd know how much id love for all of them to go out. for carm n syd to actually go around eating a shitton of food
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today I found out (mostly realized) that kids these days don't have physical textbooks anymore. like that is so insane to me. You can't hold??? you can whack someone's arm with it? shove it in a locker and hope it doesn't remain there??
#personal#talking to one of my coworkers#who is a first year college student so like 18/19 ish i guess#and hes like yea since middle school ive never had a physical book unless it was just in the class room#that just killed me on the spot#im maybe upwards of 8 yrs older and like. so much has changed so fast#idk i can definitely see the pros of having all your books being pdf#but also#idk it just doesnt seem right#feels like the removal of disk drives in computers you know??#anyway i gotta go learn some math now bc for the first time today i couldn't help a kid
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you would think considering how much it loves sleeping that my body would, yknow, sleep when i ask it to. or even just when it has barely slept in days and im trying so hard to sleep
#the bin#uugghhhh i woke up at 1pm today bc my stupid idiot body refused to go to sleep at a reasonable time even tho i was alreday so sleep#deprived. i have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning :/ so i guess i wont be sleeping till then bc i still have to clean stuff and shower#maybe maybe maybe ill get a nap in but idk. bleh. i hope after i get home my stupid body will sleep. its gonna have to bc i work 7 hours the#next day so i cant do that too sleep deprived. i really really hope i dont have to :( hhhh#i wanted so bad to get high last night mosty bc my body has been refusing to sleep this past week but my sister n her boyfriend didnt come#over so i wasnt able to get more edibles :( or boxes for packing. hhh. i need to move so soon! i have no idea what day its even gonna be yet#i badeky have an idea of how much its gonna cost either. they finally gave me a gas cost estimate afeyr ive been asking for 3 weeks#hhh. well. whatever. i only have 4 more shifts. im kinda sad tbh. i really like working here. my coworkers are so nice#tomorrow is probs the last time ill ever see my fav coworker. shes so nice. shes so nice she used he/him for me and calls me orb#i just mentioned the name in passing once after i changed my pronouns on my nametag and she noticed and she remember!#and before she used it for me she stopped and asked if i was comfortable with it or if i wanted to keep it private. i have never EVER met#another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive#ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably#be ok. butbi really would prefer not to be.#i dont know why i havent been able to sleep properly. bleh. i do liek what edibles do to me its a fun time but its kinda annoying that i#cant use them very casually for sleep or pain. they incapacitate me for 14 hours minimum.#well. at least no matter how stressed i am abt everything. i will definitely be elsewhere in 18 days max. should be less than that.#i will miss this job and these coworkers but i am relived that i wont have to go to work for awhile. esp with this tooth pain.#and im so excited to be able to draw again! im glad im moving a month before artfight bc itll give me time to get shit prepped#i wanted so bad to participate last year but i wasnt able to come evn close to finishing any attacks bc i was too tired from working
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