#I hate it when my dreams do the thing I've been trying to pretend I don't care about

[gibbearish]

so this post has been made unrebloggable now (shocker) but ive been feeling the need to address it since i saw it on my dash multiple times, so let's explore how lying on the internet works. more specifically, how blending truth, lies, and omissions to whip uninvolved people into anger works, because i think this is an excellent example and that pointing out the misinformation and the tactics used to spread it here is important, both in correcting the specific falsities but also in helping recognize similar tactics in the future.

so here we have several things that are technically true: staff has been very openly shitty to trans women for a long time and them banning predstrogen is clearly part of that, there is currently a movement regarding discussing transmisandry/transandrophobia, transmisogyny and transphobes sending transphobic asks is by far nothing new, and baeddel is/was a slur. however, among all of this are half-truths, unprovable speculation, or outright lies made to make you believe these events are originating specifically from transmascs.

firstly, the transandrophobia movement has been drastically misrepresented here in the same way it has been for the whole argument, "they're just trans MRAs" has been repeated so many times now that i'm gonna be hearing it in my dreams when i'm 80. i can understand not being willing to address the nuance of that whole discourse in one post that isn't directly focused on that, i'm certainly not, but in this example it's not unwillingness to address a complicated topic, it's a deliberate misrepresentation to frame one side of the discussion as The Evil Bad Ones That Can't Be Trusted. additionally, this post IS about that discourse and is just pretending it isn't to mislead a wider audience, so refusing to address it at all beyond this brief mention is deliberately misleading people about the goals of the group because They're The Other Side Of The Discourse. "transmisogynists" is used as a buzzword here, it doesn't actually refer to Anyone Who Hates Transfemmes, it refers to Transmascs Who Discuss Transmasc-Specific Oppression Using A Word They Coined To Point Out That Queer Spaces Have A Big Problem With Masculinity and just. doesn't tell you that's what it means, relying on the structure and framing of the post to create the Transmisogynist = Transmasc association in the audience's head so op doesn't have to say it outright (and of course the implied Transmasc = Transmisogynist association that follows because creating THAT association is the Actual Point of this post). the mentions of transmascs in this post are designed to look like afterthoughts, op says "typically those who espouse transandrophobia" to make it look like they're saying there's other people they're referring to here too, but almost everything in this post draws from the transandrophobia discourse. some random cis transphobe in texas has never heard the term baeddel in their entire life much less used it in a debate about transphobia, this is an intercommunity argument through and through, but op is trying to mask the fact that they're just referring to "transmascs who disagree with me specifically" and make it look like it's part of a wider trend. and again, i'm not going to go into the nuances of transandrophobia here, but i highly recommend reading some of the theory on it by @nothorses (x) and @genderkoolaid (x) because the "theyre just trans MRAs" argument kinda just collapses under its own weight as soon as you look into it even a smidgen. i've linked a couple broad overviews there but they both discuss it frequently and in-depth, specifically nothorses has a pinned post linking to many different discussion threads that i would recommend checking out if you do want to learn more about what the actual conversation surrounding these words is.

so, after framing the movement this way, they go on to say that the reason predstrogen was banned wasn't /just/ because staff has a long and established hate boner for trans women, but because the transandrophobia movement was teaming up with TERFs to mass-report her and other transfemmes, and implies that this is part of a deliberate conspiracy between Transandrophobia Truthers™, TERFs, and staff. you'll notice that there are no, say, screenshots of transmascs saying theyre deliberately reporting her or of that they're working with TERFs, behind-the-scenes lists of people who reported a certain account, or any evidence for this beyond "she was a trans woman, they're trans men who hate trans women, she got banned, so these must be related". which i find especially funny now given that photomatt has continued melting down about this since it happened and made it pretty clear it yknow. was just part of staffs ongoing hate campaign against trans women that has been going on much longer than the transandrophobia debate? and that maybe the fact that The Literal CEO is having a personal meltdown about this might explain where that could be coming from or at least why it's been allowed to continue for so long, moreso than any individual users reporting someone could? but i digress.

who reported what account is completely unprovable as a casual user unless people directly admit they did it, so to bring it up like this begs the question of what actual reasoning they have for saying it beyond trying to tie a current display of bigotry into an unrelated discourse. that's not to say it's impossible people who discuss transandrophobia were wrongfully reporting her, because again, thats something we have no way of knowing, and the internet is a shit place so i wouldn't be surprised. but given the circumstances and the rest of the lies here, i have my doubts about this being an actual yknow. Thing That Happened rather than just another lie to make people mad at transmascs. now one could make the argument that op wasn't saying transmascs are /deliberately/ teaming up with TERFs/staff, that "teaming up" was just a poor choice of words to refer to multiple groups who happen to have the same goals in mind at the same time but aren't actually coordinating with one another, but given the deliberate misinformative slant of the rest of the post and the overall phrasing in this section, i have trouble extending that grace. regardless, however, that doesn't change that who is reporting who isn't something verifiable, so stating it here as a confirmed fact is disingenuous at the absolute best, and a lie chosen specifically because it's unprovable at worst. if op /does/ have proof that transmascs have been teaming up with TERFs to get trans women banned, not including that with this post is just uhhhhh dumb, and if op /doesn't/ have proof then Why Would You Go Around Telling People That's What Happened Unless You Were Lying To Them On Purpose With Ulterior Motives.

next, op goes on to discuss the rise of the term baeddel. now as i said before, the truth here is that it certainly was a slur and certainly can still be used as one, again the internet is a shit place so i would be a fool if i tried to say "no one is using this as a slur". however, this is once again a drastic misrepresentation of the situation. baeddel's rising use is due to certain trans women reclaiming it and aligning themselves with the original group's politics, namely that femininity is good and masculinity is bad (aka terfism 101), with the added caveat that by abandoning femininity for masculinity, transmascs are evil and betraying devine womanhood and their community by putting more Evil Manhood into the world. of course that in turn is a drastic oversimplification of their politics and i highly recommend checking out this post with an actual in-depth exploration of the history (and without my added flavor), but the important part to note here is that this is not a term transmascs just Started Using one day because they hate transfems so very much as is implied here, its use is directly tied to a group of people saying "hello, here is what i am, and here is what this word means about what i believe," so others went "ok, these specific beliefs are called this." bringing up the fact that it historically was a slur is misdirection here, when you look closer this is almost a 1 to 1 translation of TERFs crying that TERF and radfem are slurs because People Don't Like Their Politics And Therefore Them, so the name for their politics is used negatively, so therefore it's a slur. that argument just has a little more oomph behind it this time because It Was A Slur Originally. and again, that isnt to say no one is now using it as a slur, the rate of decay for online discourse is ridiculous so it being boiled down to and used as "evil transfemme" has certainly already happened, but to act like /every/ use of it is a slur is literally just a lie, when you self-identify with a term based on your shared politics with the original group then you do not get to claim everyone using that term to describe those politics is doing so exclusively to attack you. also this part is entirely speculation but given that op's url is basically just. baeddel switched around to dae bel, i would hazard a guess that they perhaps are indeed aware of the origins of its re-use? but again, that's entirely unprovable and based just on wordplay, but like. given the Everything here i wouldn't be surprised. now, there's definitely an argument to be made about calling users baeddels based just off of their politics when they don't personally self-identify with it, if that constitutes calling someone a slur and if TIRF should be used instead, but crucially, that is not the argument being made here. the argument being made is "ANY AND ALL use of this term is calling someone a slur," and that literally just Isn't The Case.

finally, to tie the whole post off, op reminds us 1) if you hear anything bad about any trans woman ever, it's probably a lie to make her look bad, and 2) if you hear anyone say anything about transandrophobia, disregard everything else they have to say because they hate trans women. not "be critical of the things you see or get sent" or "be on the lookout for things following a certain pattern," a unilateral "anything bad is probably fake and anyone who uses the bad words is probably evil." that is not something someone does if they are genuinely trying to raise awareness of an ongoing trend, that is what someone does when they want you to turn your brain off and be mad at a group no matter what they say.

so yeah, in summary, do be critical of the things you see and be on the lookout for certain patterns, because sometimes people will just Lie to you. or, sometimes people will tell you portions of the truth while leaving out crucial bits so that you'll come to the conclusion they want without anyone being able to say they lied to you without typing up a thirty paragraph long hell post. transmisogyny is absolutely a problem on this site and there are 100% valuable conversations to be had about it and its presence within the trans community, but this post is not that. this post uses real transmisogyny and the wrongful termination of a trans woman's account as set dressing to say that it was all because of evil transmascs who run the trans community behind the scenes conspiring to take out transfemmes, so you should ignore anything they have to say because All of it is secretly motivated by transmisogyny. they're never discussing transandrophobia because it's something that actually effects them, they're doing it to hurt trans women by saying they have it worse. they're never telling you about shitty things a trans woman did to spread awareness, they're lying to make her look bad, or even if it's true they're only talking about it as part of a hate campaign because she's trans, they wouldn't care otherwise. they're never using a specific term because People Use That Term For Themselves, they're calling someone a slur because they hate trans women. there's always an explanation you can think up that ties it back to transmisogyny, and op says that instead of assessing all of what someone says and the context behind it to determine if that's what's happening, you should assume transmisogyny is the answer and refuse to engage any further as soon as you see a word you've been told is bad.

this post is discourse recruitment masquerading as a public service announcement that doesn't offer you any routes to actually learn more about what's going on, it just tells you Here's What's Happening, Here's Who's Evil And Should Be Ignored, And If You Disagree You're Also Evil And Should Be Ignored. content of the actual post aside, i think anything framed that way should be taken with a MASSIVE grain of salt and this would have raised my alarm bells even if i wasn't already pretty familiar with the arguments, people who genuinely want you to know something just because it's good to know will give you options to learn more or encourage you to actually use your critical thinking to assess things, not tell you to sit down and shut up and ignore anyone who disagrees with them.

anyways i guess tldr

[sednas]

─ TAKE YOU LIKE A DRUG I TASTE YOU ON MY TONGUE.

FT. toji fushiguro x fem!reader featuring my daddy issues

TW. dd/lg, half mean half gentle!toji, sub!reader, daddy issues, thigh riding, oral (m receiving), slight dumbification, praise and degradation, public s!x (at first), creampie, p!ssy slapping (once), 2k+ words

♡♡♡. sorry for the potential typos/ugly sentences, it's been a long day but i really wanted to post this

you met toji during the first semester of college, when your parents moved out to get closer to the place where you were studying.

it all started out innocent. quick glances, lingering hands on the skin, a few smirks and playful winks, smalltalk about college and work...

he was tall, dark hair, deep green eyes, a scar on the corner of his lips, big hands, broad shoulders, strong thighs...

every time you'd come back home for the weekends you expected him to finally have settled down with one of the numerous women in the neighborhood, all salivating over him.

but he stayed single, and you could fantasize about him without the annoying thought of his pretty wife sucking him off. as years went by, your crush on him got pretty obvious, you became more confident, trying to give him the hint that he could do whatever he wanted with you. but toji was blind to your signs, or at least that's what he was pretending to be.

his ignorance toward you left a bittersweet taste on your tongue, putting you as nothing more than the plain daughter of his neighbor, and you felt like fifteen again, ignored by the boy you liked.

which brings us to tonight, a few days after your graduation. you came back to your parent's place and you can't seem to sleep, sitting on the grass, you look up at the stars and think of all the things that are awaiting for you now that you're done with college. it's scary and exciting at the same time. you'll be leaving the city for your dream job soon, and there's only one regret that comes to your mind.

“beautiful night uh?” you hear a deep voice coming from the darkness of the night. speaking of the devil... it's toji, he just sat down on a chair a few meters away from you in the neighborhood's common garden, he has a drink in his hand, you can't tell what's in it but it's probably alcohol.

“I've heard that you graduated. I always knew you were a smart girl, your parents must be proud of you.” he says, his green eyes lazily resting on you.

you shrugged your shoulders, still sitting on the grass.

“my dad barely said that he was proud of me...” you laugh bitterly. why are you even talking about this? he doesn't care, he just wants to make a quick small talk.

a few seconds of silence go by... you see toji moving, patting the seat next to him. it's... unexpected, but you can't let go of such an occasion to be closer to him, and without a word you go sit down. he extends his legs with a sigh. your eyes linger on him in a not so subtle manner. he's wearing a black tank top with gray baggy sweatpants.

“your dad's just not great with words, I'm sure he's very proud of you.”

you don't say anything, not trusting your voice right now, feeling like a lost little girl even though you're past twenties. he must surely pity you by now, and you hate it.

“do you need to hear it?”

“what do you mean?” you ask, arching an eyebrow, and you see him shift on his seat until he's facing you, your knees touching.

“alright... gimme your hands.” he says, and even though it's an order his voice is soft and reassuring. you obey, putting your hands in his. the skin of his hands is calloused, you can tell he's been working with them all of his life.

you can feel your heart beating faster and harder inside your chest, unsure of what you're going to do once he will speak. you're so close to him, of course you already had conversations with him, but this one feels too intimate, both of you alone in the darkness of the night... anything could happen.

“I'm very proud of you. you told me before that you were anxious about the future but I'm sure it will all turn out to be okay. you've got that light in your eyes, I'm not quite sure how to describe it but it's bright and I know you'll make a good use of it.” he finally says and for a few seconds you both drown in a silence where you can only hear the sound of crickets.

within a second, your lips crash into his as he lets out a surprised moan which comes out muffled, feeling your soft hands running down on his forearms, sending shivers down his spine.

“what the fuck are you doing?” he finally asks, pulling away from you. your heart stops for a second, hearing him raise his voice at you, but he unexpectedly pulls you in for another kiss, his hand snaking up behind your neck and this time you're the one moaning against his mouth.

“been wanting you for so damn long.” he mumbles as he deepens the kiss, his tongue slipping between your lips and making you feel empty brained. you clutch on his chest, heart fluttering to his words.

“re-really? I thought you didn't like me...” you can't believe what you're hearing, your body trembles slightly as toji kisses your neck and nods his head.

“how could I not like such a sweet girl like you.” he purred in a low, baritone voice, his hands slowly sliding down your waist to guide you on his lap, letting you feel how hard he is against you.

you let out a gasp when you feel him start to rock your hips on his thigh, his green eyes piercing through yours. “you think I didn't notice the way you were looking at me for all those years. how your outfits got sluttier just to have a crumble of my attention uh? just imagine how many times I've fucked myself imagining you taking my cock like the good girl I know you fucking are.”

you moan, feeling pure bliss at this revelation as his big hands keep forcing you to hump his thigh. you can feel your pussy getting dragged all the way up and down his clothed hard cock, giving you a hint of how big it is. both of you moan when your pussy lips engulf his tip through your shorts and soon enough a wet spot starts to form on his sweatpants.

“fucking hell Y/N, look at you... I don't know how I resisted fucking you for so long when your body is that perfect to play with. fuck!- but I'm done holding back, I'm gonna fucking ruin you.” he grunts, his voice still low and dominant, his fingers digging into your plump skin.

the fact that you're in the neighborhood's common garden is already long forgotten, you don't care about the whole city seeing you in this position, you've wanted this for too long. your pussy is throbbing, the soft material of his pants rubbing deliciously against your hardened clitoris, your tongue almost comes out of your mouth while toji watches your dumb expression with delight.

“gonna cum... I'm... I'm...” your whiney voice echoes through the silent night and toji bounces and flexes his thigh on purpose, taking you over the edge as he whispers praises against your ear. you come in a muffled cry, biting toji's shoulder to silence your cute moans.

toji gives you a few minutes to rest, caressing your hair and giving your thighs reassuring strokes every time he feels your body twitch on top of him. in a gentle gesture, he takes your chin in his hand to look at your face.

“let's go to my room yeah? I want to give you more.” you can only nod your head as you both leave the garden and head over to his house. the whole place is plunged in darkness and you follow him closely not to trip over anything, your arm wrapped around his own in a clingy way while he guides you to his bed.

he gets on top of you, removing your shorts and your top in a fast motion, so smoothly that you barely notice that you're now half naked under him. you suddenly feel shy under his warm gaze which devours your body and you turn your head to avoid his eyes.

“don't turn all shy now sweetheart, your body is a work of art.” he murmurs, his hot breath tickling your skin before kissing your neck. his hands travel up to your chest, playing with your tits and gently pinching your nipples.

“ahh~ please, daddy...” you whine without thinking, and toji suddenly stops what he's doing, lifting his head to look into your eyes. his pupils are dilated, his gaze darkened by lust and need. you can feel him squeeze your skin a little bit harder than before, and you whine again.

“is it true? am I your daddy?” he teases, bringing his hand close to your inner thighs, caressing them with the tip of his digits. his cock never ached to be inside someone like this, he can feel it twitch and throb inside his pants, begging to know how your little pussy feels like.

“yes, yes you are, please daddy, I need you... want you to feel good too...” you beg, your hands clutching on his chest once again, trying to remove his clothes but it's no easy task in your position and with how your body is trembling.

toji wears a boyish smirk at your words, thinking about how cute you look and sound right now. he brings his face close to yours, his lips only a few inches away from your open mouth. “yeah? do you want to make daddy feel good?” and he smiles when you nod eagerly. he stands up, gently dragging you toward the edge of the bed, letting your head suspended in the air.

“alright, you know what's coming next, don't you baby?” as an answer, you open your mouth, presenting your tongue and waiting for him. he huffs with amusement at your hunger, finally freeing his cock and sighing of relief. he taps the tip against your tongue, smearing your saliva all over it. before you can whine with impatience he pushes it right in, sliding his entire length down your throat in one smooth motion of his hips.

“god... I wonder if your pussy is as tight as your throat...” toji groans, biting his bottom lip to prevent any slutty moans to come out of him. your greedy tongue swirls around his leaking tip, and you moan whenever you feel a vein drags along the curves of your lips.

you feel light headed, with your head hanging in the air, half naked in the bed of the man you like, his balls slapping against your face. he lets out a moan, watching your tits bounce and the buldge that his cock is forming inside your throat, his eyes roll back, one more minute and he's going to cum down your throat.

he makes you choke on his cock one last time before pulling out, the action earning a disappointed whimper from you. “don't whine you baby.” he warns with a smug look on his face, manhandling once more to put you on your back.

“but I...” he hushed you by slapping your clothed cunt and tears immediately start to form in the corner of your eyes and he almost regrets what he just did, seeing your teary expression.

“it's okay baby. just be a good girl and let me do what I want with you, you're gonna like it I promise.” you nod as he massages your pussy, and once you say “yes daddy” he's a goner, tearing your panties apart, he presses his cock against your puffy clit, making you jolt under him.

he lifts your hips and enters you in one second, your wetness immediately coating his cock, making it easier for him to sink deep inside you. “good... good... how do you feel so fucking good...” toji rambles in his low voice, and it makes you spread your legs wider. you don't know when he removed his clothes but he's as naked as you now, you almost whimper at the sight, wrapping your legs around his slutty waist.

“does that feel good baby?... fuck, you look so dumb right now.” he chuckles darkly, his big hand gently slapping your cheek before holding your whole face in it. you try to get your half lidded eyes to focus on his face, with his dark hair adorning his facial features and his eyes shining with lust as his cock keeps reaching deep for that spongy spot inside you. it's too much for you to handle.

you start babbling incoherent words, all interrupted by whines as your head falls on the pillows. his bedsheets smell like him, it almost makes you feel tipsy, drunk on his strong, masculine scent. you want to stay here forever, drowned in him. “daddy, daddy...” you keep repeating, your legs quivering as he towers you, his arms caging your face.

toji smiles, kissing your cheek as his thrusts keep getting faster and faster. “you're such a good girl, taking my cock like the good little whore that you are... ah fuck-!” he curses, feeling your hands clawing at his back. he looks at your face, feeling his cock twitches at the sight.

“I'm... I'm gonna cum again...” you try to speak, your eyes rolling back as his mushroom tip pushes against your cervix, making you arch your back and see stars.

“let it all go for me Y/N, I'm here for you.” just what you needed to hear. you whimper a weak “daddy” one last time as shockwaves of pleasure run through your body, your pussy spasming and throbbing around his cock. your vision goes blank, all you can hear is the voice of toji throwing praises at you against your ear while he tries his best not to lose his mind to the feeling of you gushing all over him.

“good girl... you really do have the best pussy god damn it...” the rest of his sentence is just a gasp, his hands shaking slightly as he can feel himself getting closer and closer to his own release.

“breed me... daddy. please breed me...” you manage to plead through your hazy state and who is he to deny you when you asked so sweetly? with his hands firmly gripping your waist he cums deep inside you, releasing a string of moans that sounds like music to your ears.

you feel so full once he's done, your body still twitching under him as he finally comes down from his high, and the first thing he does is to pepper your face with kisses, sweetly humming when he feels you running your hands through his hair.

“good fucking god... I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my life...” he sighs, laughing a little and falling on his back next to you. he reaches out for your hand, kissing the back of it. it must be a dream, how are you still not waking up?...

“I really meant what I said earlier. I'm proud of you... you took that cock so well...” he laughs in a low voice when you gently hit his chest, his right arm circling around your waist to bring you closer to his body.

“no but for real... I'm proud of you, I'll give you all the love you deserve.”

jjk masterlist

[dragon-kazansky]

Heart of the Dreaming

Morpheus x Female Reader

Soulmate AU

You are the daughter of Rodrick Burgess. You find out about the "demon" in the basement and decide you want to see it. Things take an unexpected turn when your soulmate connection is made with the man you find down there. You are the one he has been waiting for, and you're being taken away from. Not for long. Dream will protect his soulmate.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Chapter Thirteen - Make it count

☆☆☆

When you next awoke, you felt well rested. Without Dream, you were certain you would have seen the Corianthian again. You were worried about what he wanted, and what he was capable of doing.

You rose from your bed and got changed into some comfortable clothes. As you opened your door to leave, Dream was standing there with his hand raised to knock. You both looked as startled as the other.

"How did you sleep?" He asked instantly, lowering his hand.

"Good. Thank you."

His lips break out into a small smile. "You're welcome. Always."

"I, uh, I was coming to see you."

"As was I coming to see you," he chuckles softly. The sound sends a tingle down your spine. He has a very pleasant chuckle.

"Well, I was thinking..."

"Yes?"

You sigh and try to find the words you want to use. Would he be upset with you? "Well, I was thinking, maybe, I could be used as bait for the Corianthian. See, it's this power he's after, and even though it's not your full power, he clearly thinks it's enough to use against you, and, well, if I go and pretend I'm on his side or whatever, we can lure him out and capture him."

Dream was taken back by your idea.

"No."

"What?"

"No. I cannot risk anything happening to you." He is absolute with his words. He won't risk losing you.

"You have to let me help."

"No. I was coming here and to tell you I'm going after him alone. You will be safe here. Should anything happen to me, I've taken precautions to keep you safe."

"I didn't ask you to do that." You frown at him.

"No. You didn't. I did it anyway."

You want to tell at him for being foolish, but you can't bring yourself to do it. He's trying to keep you safe.

"You need me," you say softly.

"I'll manage."

You hate that. You hate that he's going to out there without you. If you're there, he isn't at full strength. He can't possibly expect to do anything.

"Please," you beg.

"I can't let you."

There was something about the tone of his voice that hit you. He wasn't doing this to displease you. He was asking in his own way for you to stay safe.

"Okay..."

You back down. For now.

Dream hesitates to reach out and touch you. You can see his fingers twitch at his side. You do the only thing you can think to do and reach out, taking his hand. You bring it to your face and let him touch you softly.

Dream looks at you in awe. His thumb brushes along your cheek in a light touch. You feel warm.

"If I return, may we discuss our future?" He asks hopefully.

"When you return. Yes."

He smiles softly. Perhaps he can win you over after all. He caresses your cheek for a little while before dropping his hand. He looks at you, committing you to memory. He wants your face to be the only thing he thinks about.

He then leaves.

You watch him disappear down the hall and round the corner. You sigh softly. You then wait several minutes. Then you go. Down the hall, round the corner, and into the library.

Lucienne looks up when you enter and seems surprised to see you. She stands up and bows her head slightly. You feel strange being bowed to. You're not Dream. You're not a ruler.

"My lady."

You feel strange hearing that, too.

"Tell me how to get to where Dream has gone."

Lucienne hesitates. She swore to watch over you while he was gone. "I don't think that a good idea."

"Please."

The librarian can see the desperation in your eyes and hear the plead in your tone. You're worried about him. She's worried about him. If dealing with the Corianthian wasn't so dangerous, she would possibly find this endeavor almost romantic.

"There's a gateway you could use..."

"Show me."

Lucienne adjusts her glasses and then looks up at the bookshelf where Matthew is perched. He understands immediately and flies down to the table in front of you.

"Follow me." He caws.

You look at Lucienne. "Thank you."

"Stay safe," she replies.

You follow Matthew out the library and down a couple of halls. He brings you to a lone door in the middle of one hall, and you go inside. There's a tall mirror standing on its own in this room. Matthew lands on top of it.

"You can pass through here, but it's kind of a one-way thing. You'll need Dream in order to come back here," Matthew explains.

"Thank you, Matthew. I intend to return with him. He needs me."

Matthew caws. "Yeah, we know."

You chuckle softly and look at the mirror. It looks unsuspecting. Just a mirror. Your reflection looks quite ordinary, but when you reach out and touch the glass, your hand passes through. Your reflection begins to ripple. You walk slowly through the mirror.

☆☆☆

Dream walks with his hands in his coat pockets. His eyes are focused straight ahead. His mind is full of thoughts of you.

The Corianthian will not get away a third time. Dream will end this today, even if it destroys him.

He knew he needed to catch the Corianthian at some point, but him appearing in your dreams was the final straw. Dream can't let him roam any further.

He walks towar this destination. A hotel. Many mortals are gathering here. Dream looks around as he stands in the parking lot. Something felt very wrong about this place.

He enters the building.

In the trees opposite the hotel, Matthew lands on a branch and looks down, seeing Dream enter the building. Lucienne had asked him to come and keep an eye on things and to return to her if things turned sour. Matthew turns his head toward the entrance of the parking lot and waits for you to appear.

Dream walks through the lobby of the hotel and sees people queuing at the desk. He walks right past them. There's an outside area and then hall down to the left. It seems people need a pass to get down there.

He waits. Two people approach the table and sign in. Dream stands behind them a few steps, and as they turn to go down the hall, he simply slips past beside them. The man at the table is too occupied with other guests to notice him.

He walks down the long hall and passes several conference rooms. Each room is labelled differently. Dream comes to stand in the doorway of one. The people at the table have strange nicknames and they're saying strange things.

It clicks in his mind.

These people are some of the worst of the worst. These people kill others. The murdering. The slaughtering. The disgusting "art" they think they're providing.

The Corianthian was definitely here.

At the end of the hallway is a large assembly room. Much bigger than the others. A podium is set up at the front of the room, and many chairs have been set up to face it.

Voice and footsteps flood the hall outside the room, and Dream tucks himself up against the wall as people start to flood in. He watches as they walk past him, talking and laughing. Each of them finds a seat in this vast hall.

Dream watches from the back.

The first ten minutes of whatever this is just talking from the organisers of the event. Dream doesn't care for specifics. He knows who these people are, what they do, what they Dream about.

It's when they mention a special guest that Dream perks back up. From a side door enters the Corianthian, and Dream watches him closely. The Corianthian walks up on stage, shakes hands, and then takes the podium.

He talks about dreams. Their dreams. Their potential. It makes Morpheus sick to think about his gift being abused by one of his own creations. At least you're safe and away from here.

The Corianthian spots Dream lingering in the back and grins.

"Tell you what, all of you close your eyes. Think of what makes you happiest. Focus on that, and soon, you will find it feels so real."

Dream walks down the aisle of chairs and slowly joins the Corianthian up on the stage.

"It's not you I wanted," the Nightmare states.

"She's safe."

"Is she?" He chuckles. "You're here to stop me?"

"Yes."

There's something about the Corianthian's smile that doesn't feel right. Dream should know you're stubborn.

And just like that, Morpheus is afraid.

☆☆☆

You reach the hotel and look up at the tall building. This is where they are? It didn't matter, you supposed. You walk inside. The lobby seems really quiet apart from a few guests and the staff. You walk past the reception desk and wander further into the hotel, going down the hall at the end.

It was quiet. Well, almost. The room at the end seemed to have something going on. You could hear what sounded like a voice. Perhaps some kind of presentation.

You didn't know where else to look and decided to take a peek. You walk over to the door and push it open.

Inside is not what you were expecting, and there was no one insight. You swore you heard a voice earlier, but there was no one here.

This room appeared to be some kind of... basement, perhaps? A bare room with a table in the middle of it. The kind of table you might find in a hospital.

"Well, what do we have here?"

You turn and find yourself facing the Corianthian. Yet there was no sign of Dream. What was going on?

"I knew you would come. Especially if he came after me. You wouldn't let him come alone." He chuckles.

"You hoped this would happen..."

"That's right." He grins.

"Where are we?" You ask, looking around again. Now, there is someone else in the room. A person you don't recognise. She is standing over a body on the table. In her hand is a scalpel.

"Oh, we're in the Dreaming again. These people are dreaming. You're bringing them all here." He chuckles. "All their dreams cam come true."

"I don't understand..."

"You alone were not enough to bring them all here into one dream. I knew I'd need Dream. I knew he would protect you if I was a threat. Now, don't worry. You don't have anything to worry about. We're currently feeding from his power. Soon, you'll be the master of the dream realm."

"What...?"

"I'm using this place to feed his power into you. You can do as you please with the Dreaming once we're rid of him."

"No! Stop it!" You yell.

A couple more people have appeared in the room. They're also doing horrific things with bodies. You're afraid. He's using you to destroy Dream and make these people stronger in their dreams.

"Please stop!"

"No can do, sweetheart." He clicks his tongue casually.

You feel your heart sinking and your breathing becoming rapid. You need to stop him somehow. You need Dream.

You need him here.

"Don't listen to him."

You gasp and turn around quickly. Dream is standing in the doorway nearby, but he looks a little fuzzy. He's not here, but he's projecting an image of himself here. It's probably all he can manage right now.

"Dream?"

"Don't listen to him."

"What do I do?" You ask softly.

The Corianthian stands in front of you both. "Enough of that." Just like that, Dream fades from view. It takes everything in you not to call out for him, but it would be no use.

"Let's get started, shall we?"

☆☆☆

Dream watched the Corianthian enter the Dreaming where he knew you were. You must have followed him to the hote, and the Corianthian had known. He was using what little power you possessed to cypher his own power, weakening him.

You weren't even doing it on purpose. From the waking world, Morpheus could feel your heart breaking. He needed to get through to you. He focused and tried to project himself into the Dreaming.

"Don't listen to him."

He can almost see you. You look afraid. He wants to reach out to comfort you, but he can't. The Corianthian severs his connection to the Dreaming, and you're gone.

His scar begins to throb. Hus rubs it.

He has an idea.

☆☆☆

The Corianthian is manipulating the room around you. He's using your power. He's controlling it. No longer are you in that horrible little room with those horrible people, but now you're outside. The grass is green, and the trees are tall.

It's beautiful.

"This is Fiddler's Green. It's considered the most beautiful spot in all the Dreaming. We're going to draw all that power here." The Corianthian smiles. "Let me show you what we can do."

He takes your hand and waves it gently through the air. A woman appears in front of you. She looks around, confused, startled. She's tall, has dark hair, and is wearing comfortable clothes. She must have been at home.

"What is this? Who are you?" She asks.

"This is lady here is Lyta Hall." The Corianthian chuckles. "Her husband died some time ago. Why don't we bring him back?"

Another wave of your hand, and there's a man standing beside her. You're confused. What is this? What is this power he's using?

The man and woman look at each other.

"Hector?"

"Lyta..."

Lyta reaches out as if to check if he's real. Her palm makes contact with his cheek, and she begins to sob. They wrap their arms around each other and hold each other.

"Lyta's dream was to have a family." The Corianthian tells you. "So let's make that dream come true."

He waves your hands again, and Lyta puls away from Hector to look down. Suddenly, she has a baby bump. You yank your hand away from the Corianthian and put some distance between you both.

"Stop it! Stop all of it!"

Your scar starts to throb. You rub it gently. You're not sure if it's because of him or not that it's doing that. You take a few deep breaths.

"I've had enough. I don't want this. I don't want Dream's power. I just want him here. I want him here with me..." You speak softly. You miss him.

You close your eyes and think about him. Everything he's done for you so far. Everything he's been through. Sure, you didn't want this bond at first. Everything was too much for you to cope with, but now... now you wanted him. You wanted to see his face again. You wanted to hear his voice again.

You wanted him.

A hand reaches out and places itself on your arm. You almost scream as you scurry away. You turn to find the Corianthian hadn't moved from his previous spot. No. You find yourself looking up into familiar blue eyes.

With shake breath, you lunge at Dream and wrap your arms around him. He lets you, wrapping his arms around you. However, he trains his eyes on the Corianthian, watching him carefully.

You cling to his coat. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

Dream tilts his head down and brings lifts you lr face up with his hand gently. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

You look up at him. You're trying not to cry. His thumb brushes your chin gently as he looks at you. You're safe. You're here in his arms.

"This isn't over." The Corianthian says. Once again, he's holding a knife.

"It is." Dream states. He turns to Lyta and Hector, who are holding onto each other and watching everything with confusion and fear. Dream waves his hand in their direction. Hector fades into dust in Lyta's arms. "The dead belong with the dead.'

"You bastard..." Lyta glares at him, tears threatening to fall. Dream does not care. He waves his hand again and Lyta wakes up.

Now it's just the three of you.

"I need to undo him," Dream says. "But I'll need your help to do it."

You look up at him softly. There's only one thing you can think to do. You grab him by the coat and pull him down, kissing him suddenly.

Dream is startled by your actions, but does not attempt to push you away.

You pull away and look up at him.

"Make it count."

Dream realises what you've done. You've given him your portion of the power back through a kiss. He can feel it in his veins. He stares at you in awe.

He raises his gaze to the Corianthian and gestures for you to get behind him. However, you don't let go of his hand. You watch the two.

"You can't stop me this time." Dream tells him. He lifts his hand up toward the Nightmare.

The Corianthian seems emotional. "I am what you made me."

"I didn't make you for this."

"No?"

Dream doesn't respond. He focuses his power on undoing the Corianthian. He had thought the Corianthian had been made perfectly, but it seemed he was full of flaws. Dream would not make that mistake again.

You watch the Corianthian become nothing more than sand and a skull. Dream walks over to the sand pile and picks up the tiny skull, looking at it.

"Next time, I shall do better. I shall not make something so petty." He tucks the skull into his pocket and turns to you again. "Come here."

You look at him and walk over to him slowly. He does not falter his gaze from you. You come to a stop in front of him. Dream slowly reaches out and takes your hand. With a gentle tug he pulls you into his chest.

"You kissed me."

"I did..."

"Do it again."

You state at him in surprise. Was he serious? When you continue to just stare at him, he chuckles and makes the move himself. He brings his lips to yours and kisses you softly.

You feel like you're walking on air.

It's over relatively quickly, but he gently presses his forehead against yours and smiles.

"Let go home."

You smile. "Yeah."

☆☆☆

@deniixlovezelda - @missdreamofendless - @kpopgirlbtssvt - @meganlpie - @thoughtsfromlayla - @ladyjbrekker

@mwaaaaaugh - @bluespecs14 - @intothesoul - @lady-violet - @navs-bhat - @krahk - @oldsoulmagic

@rubyrose2014 - @lorkai - @roxytheimmortal - @star-maker-rain-dancer - @intothesoul - @gemini-mama - @whotperlinda

@dreamingblueberries - @the-shadow-of-aurora - @novavida - @blackgirlmagicforever

@permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 - @hopshusushi - @sloppyzengarden - @thecraziestcrayon -

[notmorbid]

the berry pickers.

dialogue prompts from the berry pickers by amanda peters.

dying is something we have to do alone.

i want to be my full self for you.

whatever makes you happy makes me happy, too.

i'm not sure what's true and what's not anymore.

you never know when you might need kindness from people.

you see anything strange around here?

age brings all sorts of fears.

i think i've always known something was out of place.

you'll grow out of it. you'll forget.

sometimes i wonder if you have any sense at all.

don't worry. they can't hear us.

your only job right now is to be a kid.

when no one's looking, you can be a sweetheart.

it's funny how old you think your parents are, when you're a child.

stop trying to grow up so fast.

there are things more important in this world than taking credit.

there was love, but none of us knew what to do with it.

don't pretend you didn't hear me.

i will try my damnedest not to be sad.

it's hard, looking for someone who can't be found.

you never know what your last words to someone are gonna be.

words are powerful and funny things, said or unsaid.

some people are meant to read great works, and others are meant to write them.

you do love me, after all.

you're jealous. i need you to admit it.

i did what i thought was best: i left.

you seem taller, somehow.

hope is such a wonderful thing, until it isn't.

i never blamed you.

it's not your fault. it just happens, sometimes.

i guess i assumed i'd just wake up one day and everything would be normal again.

i've done my grieving. i can't do it anymore.

some wounds never close, never scar.

i just want to get away. you choose where.

make sure you write everything down, the good and the bad. but mostly the good.

what ghosts haunt your dreams?

are you going home, or leaving home?

sometimes i forget that you're hurting, too.

swearing can make you feel better.

anything you want to tell me?

there's something to be said for salt air.

i love you. i'm sorry i've been so far away.

i've never felt worse. i need you to know that.

i assume the universe knows what it's doing.

getting better isn't easy.

i was convinced the pain would haunt me for the rest of my life.

i was determined to let my pain and anger ruin me.

you like to find fault with everyone but your own self.

you have no right to hold onto that guilt all by yourself.

i'm sick of tiptoeing around you like you're going to break.

don't be sorry. be useful.

i've never been much of a talker.

it's not fair to be young and weak. there's no fairness to it at all.

prejudice runs deep and offers no apologies, in small towns.

you can't stay mad at me.

i didn't sleep because i was worried about you, asshole.

maybe i'm just one of those people who are only happy when they aren't.

it's not that i don't remember. it's that i don't want to.

why do you always assume you're on your own?

i remember. i didn't think you did.

people are always saying nice things about the dead, especially when their family is in the room.

sometimes a lie becomes so entrenched, it becomes the truth.

you never deserved anything i did to you.

the only person i have a right to be angry with is myself.

it wasn't because i didn't love you.

you know of any work i could get around here?

i wonder, sometimes, what i did to deserve it.

you got a story?

you seem too young to have a story of any interest.

something is making you all dark and moody.

what are you doing out here? there's a storm coming.

i don't go giving my name out to every stranger i meet.

people seem to need to get away from me.

own your mistakes. make amends and move on.

you feel things too quick and too heavy. you need to let things go, sometimes.

i'm here. it was just a dream.

i kind of hoped i would die before i had to tell you this.

i wanted to hate you, but i couldn't.

anger and sadness are just two different sides of the same coin.

time is never a friend to the sick or the old.

i don't like to see people i might know.

how are you still alive?

the lord must keep me around to amuse himself.

where is home, for you?

what's at home that's got you afraid to be there?

the only misery you're causing is your own.

i'll be honest, because i don't know how else to be.

don't worry. i'll remember for you.

i ruined myself all by myself.

i prayed you would come home to us.

what on earth have you got to be sorry for?

tell me about ___. if it's okay.

lost souls have to find their own way home.

i don't think i've ever laughed that hard in my life.

[mendeshoney]

you know my weakness is you (act two)

author's note: um...hello? is this thing on? sorry i've been away and that it took me a literal year and a few days to post part two to this story. also i meant to post this eariler but i am at home visiting family so i didn't realize this was not queued to post in est until literally right now. i appreciate everyone's love and patience in the meantime and hope you enjoy!

as a reminder - this character is a WOC and is plus sized bc...well, that's what I know as a person and it's kinda time I start actually trying to write like it. so let's just pretend there's a world where POC plus sized hockey wags can exist, mkay? i'm also manipulating some of the other wags of the team, so, that is also happening.

tags/warnings in no particular order: 18+, angst, enemies to lovers, miscommunication, unintentional secrets, insecurity, original female character, WOC character, consensual unprotected sex

word count: ~14,125

(read act one here)

When Mat sleeps, he dreams of Summer.

Mat dreams of her, craves her, wants nothing more than to have and to hold her.

He dreams of the words his captain spoke to him almost a week ago.

I’m telling you not to take this risk. This whole ‘I hate you but now I like you’ risk. And especially not with Summer.

She can’t go through that again.

And whether you want to admit it or not, there’s something between the two of you, and if it goes wrong, it’s going to be really, really bad.

If you’re not serious about her, leave her alone.

He thinks back through all of the horrible things he’d ever said to her, how even though he knew in his heart he was miles ahead of her shitty ex, he still wasn’t the type of person to deserve her, but dammit, that didn’t mean he wasn’t about to try.

Mat knows that he seriously wants Summer. Wants her desperately, has wanted her since the moment they met even though she pushed him away. And he’d wanted just one chance to prove to her that he’d make it worth her while, and he got more than enough.

Except now, it seemed his captain was going to be the one to put a stop to it.

After Mat had slept with Summer and Anders had given Mat his words of warning, the captain backed it up after practice a couple of days later, making it very clear to Mat how he felt about the idea.

“I can see in your eyes you’re not hearing what I said, so I’ll repeat it. Stay away from Summer.”

Mat had blinked at Anders, completely shocked and also thankful they were having this discussion away from the rest of the team.

“What?”

“Stay away, Mat.” Anders repeated, more serious and almost angry. “It’s not that I don’t like you, and it’s not that I don’t think you’re a good person. But you cannot be with Summer. At all.”

Mat bit back his snarky response, instead choosing his words carefully. “Is this about Sabrina?”

Anders shook his head. “This isn’t about Sabrina. This is about Summer.”

“What, are you in love with her or something?”

That was probably the wrong thing to say. Anders’ nostrils flared and he narrowed his eyes at Mat, jabbing a finger into Mat’s chest.

“Listen, Mat. I’ve known Summer since she was sixteen, she’s been my little sister in every sense of the word just as much as she’s been Sabrina’s, and I’ve seen her go through way too much and put up with way too much to allow you to come in just because she’s suddenly single and you’ve suddenly got the notion that you can do better than her ex boyfriend. I’m telling you right now, based on what I’ve seen? How your dynamic works? You can’t. And I don’t want you dating her.”

“That’s not up to you.” Mat said, moving Anders’ hand away. “That’s Summer’s choice. If she wants to be with me, she can be.”

“Then make it her choice not to be with you.” His captain responded, and it was exactly the ultimatum it sounded like. 

“And how do you propose I do that?” Mat bit back sarcastically. 

“You’ve been bickering since you met, and you’ve not done a single thing for her that shows that you care about her, or that you like her. Just because you slept with her once doesn’t mean you’re in love and need to be in a relationship. That’s not how it works.”

Mat scoffed. “Why are you speaking to me like I’m a kid?” 

“Because you’re acting like one.” Anders spat. “You’re acting like a child who thinks he’s in love after one time.”

“What if I’ve loved her the whole time?” Mat countered, completely serious.

Anders didn’t even blink, just laughed and shook his head. “Love? You’re joking, right? None of what you have is love, Mat. It’s not, it never has been, and it never will be. I’m telling you right now, before you take it any further, before it gets too deep. Stay. Away.”

Before Mat could respond, could tell Anders to either go fuck himself or try to plead his case, his captain walked away, and Mat knew in his gut he meant every word.

But…it already is too deep.

And he’s about to disobey his captain.

~

Despite her better judgment, Summer finds herself smiling when she walks into the small cafe shop, seeing Mat tucked into a table in the corner with her favorite iced coffee and favorite breakfast plate already ordered and sitting in front of him alongside his own order.

He’d texted her this morning, almost a week since they’d last seen one another, suggesting that they meet up to talk about what had happened in her room at Sabrina’s house.

When he’d given her the best two orgasms she’d ever had in her life, then asked her not to run, admitted to her that he liked her.

Mat Barzal.

Liked her. 

The thought made her both giddy and confused at the same time, admittedly completely unfamiliar with the rush of butterflies she’d been feeling everytime she found herself thinking about Mat, or reading a text from him.

They hadn’t seen each other since that time in her bedroom, Mat being too busy with pre-season training and practice, and Summer didn’t completely mind it. She had work as well, and was still helping Sabrina and Anders out with their wedding planning. 

Even so, seeing him after a week almost felt like she hadn’t seen him in months, and Summer knew in her heart that was probably something she should pay attention to a little more.

The butterflies, the anticipation, the giddiness - it was all quite a bit considering their history, but there was a part of it that just kind of…made sense?

Sabrina had teased her the night before when she’d been over to help her finalize the floral arrangement details. “It’s like when mom used to tell us that the boys who picked on us only did it because they liked us.”

Summer had laughed a little, and Anders, who had been sitting with them to finalize the boutonniere designs for the men’s tuxedos, had scoffed. “They’re not kids though, babe.”

Anders had seemed…apprehensive, to say the least, about her and Mat, but when Summer had asked him about it, Anders had just said “I’m not worried,” so she left it at that. Whatever it meant.

The closer she got to the table where Mat was sitting though, the more all of her concerns and worries faded away. 

Mat looks up as she approaches, pocketing his phone and giving Summer a wide smile. He stands to greet her, his hands cupping her face and offering her sweet kisses, murmuring how he thinks she looks pretty today in between each peck.

She’s sure she’s blushing beneath the bronze of her skin, and the smile she gives him in return is probably showing just how happy she feels at this moment.

“I’m sorry,” she says, “I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

“No need to be sorry princess,” he says. “You’re right on time.”

Summer smiles, taking her seat across from him and taking a sip of her coffee.

Mat watches her with a smile on his face, laying his hand out on the table, palm up. She raises a brow, but puts her hand in his anyway, waiting.

“We should probably talk about all this, shouldn’t we?” He says.

Summer shrugs, “If you want to.”

“I just want to know that you want this, too.” Mat offers, playing with the rings decorating her fingers. “We don’t have to talk, because as far as I’m concerned, if we both want this, then there’s nothing to talk about.”

She assesses Mat quietly as she takes in his words, thinking about the dynamics of their relationship.

“I think we maybe owe it to each other to at least clear the air, don’t you?” 

He nods, thumb rubbing the back of her hand gently. “I’ll start. I never hated you, not even a little bit. You got on my nerves a little, but I never hated you. I think I just acted that way because I thought you hated me first.”

Summer blinks a little, not expecting that right away. “I didn’t hate you, Mat.”

“It kind of felt like it.” He admits, but his eyes are playful, letting Summer know he’s not upset by it.

She thinks back to the day they met. His curious gaze as it ran over her body, how back then she couldn’t handle scrutiny like that from anyone, good or bad, because she could only ever see it as bad. 

A man like Mat looking at a plus size woman of color like Summer didn’t exactly always spell out happy endings.

She’d let her insecurities get the better of her then, let it push them both into something that maybe neither of them wanted. 

But still, they’d gotten here in the end, didn’t they?

“I think I just…I think we got off on the wrong foot.” She admits. “I never hated you either, I think I just felt…unsure.”

“Of me?” 

“Maybe you, maybe myself. I don’t know.” She says.

“Well now that it’s established that we don’t hate each other, and that you know that I like you, how do you feel?”

Butterflies.

Anticipation.

Giddiness.

Like a teenager in love for the first time.

Summer ignores all of that and shrugs playfully. “I suppose I might like you, too.”

The kilowatt smile that breaks out on Mat’s face is one Summer is probably going to remember for the rest of her life. He’s looking at her like she just hung the sun, moon, and the stars in the galaxy, crafting the heavens and given it to him.

“I can work with that.” He says, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing the back of it gently. “I’ll be happy to work with that.”

Her heart hammers in her chest, and as they dig into their breakfast, she can’t help but feel like she should’ve made this decision a lot sooner.

~

Mat wakes up to Summer cuddled against his side, and he quickly silences his alarm, wishing for nothing more than the opportunity to lay in bed with her for the rest of the day - the rest of time at this point.

Carefully, he untangles himself from her, making sure she’s sound asleep and tucked back in while he heads to the bathroom to start getting ready for training and practice. Once he’s brushed his teeth, he heads out and into the kitchen, going about making himself breakfast and getting food ready for Summer for when she wakes up later.

He checks his phone, spotting a text from Anders in the team group chat reminding everyone of the start time today at the facility. 

Mat tries not to get pissed off before the day even starts.

Anders has been nothing but a pain in his ass since he and Summer started seeing one another, almost as if he knows Mat never had any intention of listening to him and knows that Summer’s been in his bed nearly every night since that conversation.

Whatever. Mat doesn’t give a shit.

He’s not a kid, Anders isn’t his dad, and he’s not Summer’s keeper. He and Summer can do whatever they want, and if Anders wants to throw his weight around as captain Mat can handle it, but he’s not giving Summer up.

Once he’s about ready to go, he heads back into his bedroom to grab a hoodie and his gym bag, surprised to find that Summer’s awake, laying on her side, putting her phone down and greeting him with a soft smile when he steps inside. 

Mat’s heart literally nearly leaps from his chest to lay at her side.

Her curly hair rests on the pillow beneath her like a gentle halo, full breasts pushing at the fabric of Mat’s shirt she wore to bed. His shirt’s risen up a little and is showing a glimpse of the skin of her stomach, the blankets pooled a little bit above her waist.

She beckons Mat to her playfully, and he goes easily, climbing onto the bed and kissing her without a second to waste, slightly surprised by the minty taste of her mouth.

“You've been up long?” He murmurs to her, and she shakes her head.

“Maybe about ten minutes or so?” She says. “I thought you’d already left, so I was getting ready to go see Sabrina.”

“More wedding stuff today?” He asks, bending his head and pushing her hair over her shoulder so he can leave soft kisses on her neck.

She nods, letting out content sounds as his lips move. “Yeah, figuring out the seating chart for Anders’ side.”

Mat pauses at that, and pulls back, staring at Summer curiously. She hadn’t mentioned anything about Anders voicing his recent distaste for Mat to her, but still.

“Has he been different towards you? You know, since we…” His voice trails off.

Summer shakes her head. “Not really? He seemed apprehensive about it, but he hasn’t been different. Why? Has he said something to you?”

Mat hesitates, unsure of what and how much to tell Summer.

“He’s…not exactly happy about the two of us at the minute.” Mat begins, but as he speaks, he can see the fire in Summer’s eyes begin to build. Since he’s all too familiar with where that might lead, he immediately backtracks, making the decision to not tell her the whole truth. “It’s fine, just…maybe don’t talk about us in front of or around him for now, okay?”

“Don’t?” Summer asks, and at the fact that Mat can see the fire dissipate for a little, he nods, still careful with his words. 

“Not that I want to keep us a secret, or anything like that, I just don’t want him to say something to you about it, or have him get upset at you. He’s just trying to be a good brother in law, is all, I’m sure. Just let me handle it, okay?”

Summer nods, smiling sweetly. “Okay, I won’t say anything, I promise.”

Mat smiles, kissing her again, not complaining when Summer turns the kiss a little dirty, running her tongue against his lips gently. He pulls away again, quickly checking the time on his phone and smirking when he sees he’s got about fifteen minutes before he absolutely has to leave.

He really only needs five.

When he looks back at her, he’s got a cheshire grin on his face that Summer’s eyes twinkle at. 

“Are you still in the same state you went to bed in?” He asks. 

Summer smiles, nodding. Mat immediately rips the covers off of her, exposing her bare lower half, and Mat’s cock throbs at the memory.

Last night, after they’d showered and gotten ready for bed, Mat had cuddled up against her, wrapped her in his arms and tried very hard to not focus on how soft she felt against him, about how good it felt to have her there, how warm her body was.

She’d rested her leg on his waist, propping herself open, and Mat had dipped his fingers under the blanket to play with her, his sanity completely disappearing when he felt how wet she was for him. He’d torn her underwear off her not long after, fucking her slow and gentle until she shook in his embrace, his name falling from her lips in satisfaction.

Now, he shuffles himself down the bed till he’s nestled between her beautiful thighs, and Summer looks down at him curiously.

“Thought you had to leave for practice?”

“I’ve got plenty of time,” he says. “Plus, this is way more important than practice.”

Summer starts to protest, maybe to say something smart back to him, but whatever her response was going to be dies on her lips the second Mat’s mouth latches onto her skin.

~

Summer feels like she’s practically skipping as she heads into Sabrina’s house, bouncing off the balls of her feet in happiness. 

After Mat had managed to coax about three orgasms out of her just with his mouth and fingers before leaving for practice this morning, she felt like she could just about do anything. Especially with the way he speaks to her the whole time.

She’d enjoyed bickering with him before all of this, but it wasn’t until she reflected on the first two times they’d fooled around that she realized Mat loves dirty talk, and that he’s particularly good at it. 

The second she enters Sabrina’s house though, she shoves those thoughts aside and tries to tone down the happiness, especially with Sabrina staring at Summer like she’s got three heads.

“What are you so chipper about this morning?” Sabrina asks, eyeing her over the rim of her mug as she sips her coffee.

“Nothing,” Summer dismisses all too quickly.

“Mhm,” Sabrina says, raising a brow. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain winger, would it?”

“Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t.” She responds, resting her purse on the counter and going about making a cup of coffee for herself.

“How are you two doing?”

“We’re fine,” Summer says. “Happy.”

“That’s good,” Sabrina says genuinely. “I’m glad. Anders will be happy to know you haven’t killed each other.”

At that, Summer remembers Mat’s words from this morning, and turns to her sister with a slightly serious expression. “Could you maybe…not tell him?”

Sabrina blinks at Summer. “Why?”

“I just…I know how protective he is, and I don’t think he’s a fan of the idea. I just don’t want to put Mat in a bad spot. Could you maybe just…keep it to yourself? About Mat and I?”

“You want me to keep it from my husband that my little sister and his star winger are dating?”

Summer sighs. “Please, Sabi? Just this once, I am asking you not to tell your husband every little thing about your life and mine.”

Sabrina eyes her warily, but agrees. “Alright. But is this because Mat doesn’t want anyone to know you’re dating? Or something else?”

“It’s like I said, Anders is protective, he’s not a fan, and the season’s about to start. I don’t want to put Mat in a bad spot.”

Summer can see that there’s something in Sabrina’s eyes that makes her want to push this more, to understand, but thankfully, she drops it. 

Truthfully, she’s not sure where Anders’ apprehension is coming from, or why, but it’s clear he and Mat are at odds about it, and Summer trusts Mat enough to handle it, and enjoy their time together in the meantime.

~

After practice, as Mat is walking out to his car, he hears Anders’ call his name. Internally, he groans, not wanting to deal with his bullshit right now, but he knows it’s better to just get this over with now so he doesn’t have to put up with it for the rest of the season.

He turns, his face completely deadpan as Anders approaches.

“Did you think about what I said?” Anders asks.

Mat rolls his eyes. “Yeah, been thinking about it non-stop.”

Anders doesn’t look amused. “I wasn’t joking, Mat. I meant it.”

Mat feels the instinct to ball his fists, but he refrains.

He doesn’t care that this is his friend and captain, and doesn't care how long Anders has known Summer. Anders doesn’t get to just rock up and tell Mat who he can and can’t have feelings for. 

Whatever Mat and Summer’s relationship was like in the past is theirs to work through, and if Anders doesn’t like it, then fine.

He doesn’t need to fucking know.

“I’m aware.” Mat says. “I took care of it.”

Anders raises an eyebrow. “Took care of what?”

“We’re not together.” Mat says, the lie slipping easily through his teeth. “We’re not dating, not seeing each other, not falling in love, just like you asked. Your precious sister in law is perfectly fine high in her tower.”

Anders stares at him, probably gauging to see if he’s telling the truth, but Mat’s expression doesn’t falter. After a few moments, Anders visibly relaxes. “You two fought again, didn’t you?”

Mat scoffs. “Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t. That’s not the point. The point is you got what you wanted.”

“It’s for the best, Mat.” Anders insists, reaching out to rest a “captainly” hand on Mat’s shoulder, but Mat steps away, shaking his head.

“Whatever. See you tomorrow.”

Mat gets in his car, pulling out of the team lot and heading home, a smug feeling settling in his chest that Anders has no idea Summer will most definitely be waiting for him when he gets there.

~

“You got a little something on your face, Princess” Mat says, “Riiight…here,” and leaning in, he drops his spoon into his bowl of ice cream, grabs Summer’s face between his hands, and peppers kisses all over her face, working from one corner of her mouth to the other.

Summer giggles wildly beneath his lips, eyes shut tight as she tries to hold onto her own bowl and spoon under the assault of Mat’s kisses. 

She felt like her laugh lines were getting deeper and deeper with each passing day she spent with Mat, wrapped up in his embrace or under the constant receiving end of his affection and attention. It had been a little over a month of this now, this work in progress relationship. 

From what she knew, things between Anders and Mat were still a bit tense, but Mat reassured her that things were fine. It was just Anders finding it difficult to have a teammate date a family member, Mat had explained to her, and that he just needed time to come to terms with it. Summer could understand, so to be safe, and to make it easier on everyone, she continued to avoid speaking about Mat around Anders, and even shared a little less with Sabrina, just in case.

Knowing Sabrina, it only took a couple of glasses of wine for her to spill the beans, so it was better to say less than say more.

There had been a couple of times that they’d all been at Anders and Sabrina’s house, Summer there for wedding things and Mat there for team things, when they’d sneak off and fool around for a little bit with no one being the wiser, but Summer found it more fun than anything.

They’d just gotten back from a dinner date a little bit ago, Mat making them ice cream sundaes to have for dessert before bed after Summer admitted she had a small craving.

Once he finishes his onslaught of kisses, Mat reaches for the canister of whipped cream, spraying a little more onto her bowl and his own before digging back in. 

The TV’s playing a movie on Netflix, and when he turns his attention back to the screen, it brings Summer’s eyes to the time on his DVR box.

“Don’t forget we have dinner tomorrow night at Sabrina and Anders’ house.”

Mat groans. “Their pre-wedding late engagement party thing, right?”

Summer hums in confirmation, taking another bite of her ice cream. “Yeah. They didn’t throw one when they first got engaged since they were in Marbella, so they’re having it now while some of Anders’ family is in town for the home opener.”

“Speaking of the home opener,” Mat says, then puts his bowl down, walking off to his room before coming back, an Islanders Pro Shop bag in his hand. He hands it to Summer, who eyes it warily.

“Is this what I think it is?” She asks.

Mat shrugs, grabbing his bowl and digging back in. “What do you think it is?”

“An Islanders branded dildo?”

Mat chokes in surprise as Summer laughs, enjoying how easy it is to make him flustered.

She turns the bag upside down and is only mildly surprised when the jersey falls into her lap, the bright blue and orange and white staring at her like a neon sign.

“Would you prefer that I wear this?” She asks. “Are you going to ask me to only wear this once we get back home?”

Mat laughs, shaking his head as he puts his finally empty bowl to the side. “You wear whatever you want, baby, however you want to wear it.”

Summer smiles at him, then pauses. “Wearing this to the game probably wouldn’t be a good idea, what with Anders and all.”

Mat frowns. He’d clearly forgotten about that part, but shrugs. He reaches over, playing with the hem of Summer’s dress where it rests against her thigh. “Then I suppose you will have to wear it once we get home.” 

Summer smirks as Mat moves and wraps a hand around her ankle, maneuvering her until she’s laying with her back on the floor, watching him through curious eyes.

“And what else would you propose I wear?” She asks, watching as Mat removes her underwear and then reaches for the whipped cream canister, squirting out a dollop onto her clit.

“Nothing, if we’re being honest.” He says, rearranging himself to lay between her legs. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Princess, it’s a little rude to talk with my mouth full.”

Summer’s giggles dissipate into moans as Mat’s tongue licks away the whipped cream, the fabric of his jersey gripped tightly between her fingers as he enjoys his second dessert.

~

Mat leans back against the sofa in Sabrina and Anders’ living room, a little bit of tension leaving his shoulders now that Anders’ family has left and it’s just a few guys from the team, some of Sabrina’s friends, and Summer left behind. 

Everyone’s settled into the living room to wind down and chat a little before they all head home, and Mat watches as Anders’ has to keep a hand on Sabrina’s waist while she sits down. Summer told him that she’d had three glasses of wine because of how nervous she still got around Anders’ family, but it hardly affected her throughout the night. Now though, it seemed that since his family was gone, the anxiety and nerves were also gone, and the wine was catching up to her pretty quickly.

Summer was the last to make her way into the living room, and after a quick scan, found the only open seat left was next to Mat on the sofa. He was aware of Anders’ stare the entire time Summer made her way over, only breaking away once Summer sat down and Sabrina said something to him.

Mat barely listened to the conversation going on around him, too aware of the fact that Anders was watching them both like a hawk and that he was trying his best to behave. 

At one point, Summer must have started to feel exhausted, because he could hear the way her breathing began to even out, and then, her head gently landed on his shoulder. Tito saw it as well from his spot, and smiled at Mat.

That drew Sabrina’s attention, and she cooed, reaching out to gently wake Summer.

“Been a long day hasn’t it babes?” Sabrina asked, and Summer blinked the sleep out of her eyes.

“Sorry,” she says, then recognizing she’s still leaning against Mat, she blushes, smiling shyly when she repeats “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he assures, trying to seem flippant about it. “I don’t mind.”

“You two are such a cute couple.” Sabrina says through a laugh as she observes them, and the silence that follows is almost deafening.

“Who?” Tito asks stupidly. 

“Summer and Mat, obviously.” Sabrina says, and the second it’s out of her mouth, realization hits and her expression changes.

Damn wine.

“I mean-” Sabrina tries to backtrack, but it’s too late.

“Mathew, can I speak to you for a moment? Outside.” Anders says, his tone of voice making it clear that it’s not a request, but a demand. 

Anders heads out to the backyard, and Summer looks at Mat wearily. “Mat, you don’t-”

“No, it’s okay, Princess.” He promises, pressing a kiss to her temple and ignoring the apologetic look Sabrina tosses his way. He heads out after Anders without another word, walking up to where he’s waiting by the pool bar.

“What the fuck did you do?” Anders demands, pushing Mat the second he gets closer.

Mat finds restraint deep in his well of patience, deciding it would still not be a good idea to punch his captain in the face. 

“What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been seeing Summer? This whole time, you’ve been dating?”

“Maybe we have. What does it matter to you?” 

“I told you to stay away from her.” Anders spits, pointing a finger in Mat’s face. “I told you to stay away and you didn’t listen. And you somehow thought hiding this behind my back was a good idea?!”

“And I told you that you didn’t get to tell me who I did and didn’t get to have feelings for.” 

Anders laughs bitterly. “Oh so now it’s feelings? At the beginning of all this you said you were in love with her, and now it’s just feelings? Make up your mind, Mat.”

“I do have feelings for her! I do love her!”

“No you fucking don’t,” Anders spits. “You haven’t loved her a single day since you started sneaking around and lying about this relationship.”

“What else was I supposed to do? You made it very clear you didn’t want me around her and I made it very clear that that wasn’t your choice to make. So I did what you asked and let Summer make the choice for us both.”

“What is he talking about?”

Summer’s voice cuts through the night air like a knife to the gut, and Mat turns to find her staring at the both of them. 

She looks like an angel, hair blowing in the wind, the skirt of her dress flowing out beside her, the backyard lights casting a heavenly glow around her. 

But it’s her face that breaks Mat’s heart. Her face says she heard everything, and even though she’s standing right there, Mat can tell she’s already a million miles away from him. 

God dammit.

He couldn’t catch a fucking break today, could he?

“Summer,” Anders says, using his brotherly voice with her. “Go back inside.”

“No,” she says, and the tone of voice she’s using is one she’s only ever used against Mat when they used to be at odds. 

That used to feel like a lifetime ago, but Mat knows for sure that it’s probably coming back to him sooner than he’d like. 

“Summer-” Anders tries again, but Summer won’t hear it.

“No,” she repeats, taking a step closer to them. “You told him to stay away from me? Tried to stop him from dating me?”

“I was just trying to-” 

Summer holds up a hand, effectively silencing Anders, then turns to Mat. “And you. You said you wanted to keep quiet about us until you and Anders reached an understanding. But really, the whole time, you told him we weren’t seeing each other?”

“Summer, I can explain, I-”

“You said you didn’t want to keep us a secret.” She continues talking like Mat never said a single word. “But really, you just didn’t want to be the one keeping a secret. You wanted me to do it for you.”

The night air is suddenly heavy and silent, Anders and Mat staring at the ground in shame, nothing left to say. 

Summer scoffs bitterly. “Unbelievable.”

The click of her heels on the pavement has Mat’s head snapping up, his feet immediately moving when he sees she’s walking away. Anders is hot on their heels, following as Summer heads back into the house, noticing Sabrina and the others with their attention on Summer as she heads for her purse, then straight for the door.

“Summer?” Sabrina asks, concerned.

Summer says nothing, and Mat calls for her, but she keeps walking.

The three of them follow Summer out to the driveway, and Mat breaks into a sprint then, managing to get in front of her to block her path. 

“Princess please, just listen for a second-”

“Get out of my way, Mathew.” She says.

It’s the tone of voice that almost has him frozen in his spot. There’s no anger, no heat.

Fuck fuck fuck.

“Princess, I-”

“Don’t call me that.” 

“Okay, I’m sorry, Summer, I’m so sorry. But you don’t understand, I just wanted us to-”

“It doesn’t matter.” She says, placing a hand on his chest. “I don’t have the energy to deal with this right now. Please move.”

Mat wants to do anything but that, but he knows he probably won’t get anywhere with her about it tonight, so he does as she asks, and steps aside. By the time Anders catches up to them, she’s in her car and backing out of the driveway.

Mat feels like she’s taking his heart with her.

~

Summer sighs, spinning in the mirror and pursuing her lips as she examines the fifth maid of honor gown Sabrina’s managed to coax her into in the last hour. 

They’re at the Vera Wang Bridal House on Fifth Avenue, where Alex, one of Sabrina’s oldest pageant friends and bridesmaids, works as the manager. She’s been diligently helping Sabrina and Summer find the right maid of honor dress with the wedding only a couple of weeks away, and also helping to talk Sabrina out of some of the more less than ideal options.

The dress Summer’s trying on now is in the exact shade of what Sabrina’s been calling “champagne rose gold,” that she picked as one of her wedding colors, a spaghetti strap gown that accentuates Summer’s curves and compliments her shape. 

But it still doesn’t feel…well, like something Summer would wear, at least not as the maid of honor to her sister’s wedding. 

“I don’t know, Sabi,” she mutters, examining the way the silk falls against her body. “I like it, but it could be better.”

She looks in the mirror towards her sister, the bride to be, watching as she frowns, cocking her head to the side. “You’re right. The Lou's nice on you but the color’s a little off.” Sabrina turns toward the rack of dresses, pointing at one of the racks and then turning to Alex, smiling sweetly when she asks “Can we see the Lourdes, the Joelle, the Evelyne, the Diane, and the Vaness?”

Summer blanches. “Not the Vaness.” 

Sabrina raises a perfectly arched eyebrow at her. “Why not?” 

“Sabi,” Summer deadpans. “The v-neck on that dress is deeper than the Mariana Trench. My boobs would be all over the place.”

“Your boobs would look amazing in it.” Sabi insists, turning to Alex. “Right?”

Summer sends Alex a pleading look over Sabrina’s head, and Alex smiles, shaking her head. “Your sister’s at least a 38D and the Vaness can barely hold a 36C. I’d say ax the Vaness, and if you want to see a v-neck option, we can look at the Vanetta and the Varun instead. They’re a little more stable.” 

Sabrina hums, then nods. “Alright, I’ll accept the alternative.” 

“Thank you,” Summer says with a grateful sigh, and Alex sends her a wink before pulling the six gowns off the rack and putting them in Summer’s dressing room before heading back out to join Sabrina.

When Summer shuts the dressing room door, she carefully takes off the gown she has on and puts it back on its hangar before reaching for the next one.

Just as she’s zipping up the Lourdes, her phone vibrates in her purse from where it's resting on the chair beside her. She ignores it, focusing on adjusting the sweetheart neckline and the tulle of the train of the down when it goes off again, and then again, and then again, before it starts to vibrate with the frequency of a phone call.

She assumes it’s their father, calling on behalf of their mother to pester Summer for details on the fitting since Sabrina probably won’t answer.

Sabrina and their mom had gone shopping for her ‘mother of the bride’ dress last week and Sabrina was not pleased after her mother insisted on needing three dresses - one for the ceremony, one for the cocktail hour, and one for the reception. Sabrina was still a little upset, and their dad had been playing the middle man ever since.

Fussing with the zipper with one hand, and reaching blindly in her purse for her phone with the other, Summer answers her phone without even looking, immediately saying “Tata, okay naman kami. You don’t have to keep calling, just tell mom I’ll send her a picture of my dress when I’m done. Lalo lang itong makakainis kay Sabrina.”

From outside her dressing room, she can hear Sabrina snort in agreement. 

There’s a small pause on the other line, and for a second Summer worries that she’d been on speakerphone and their mother was about to scream down the line, but then she hears someone clear their throat before they say “I uh…I’m not your dad, and I didn’t understand a lot of that.”

Summer blinks, her heart plummeting to her stomach. She lets go of the zipper of the dress that she’d finally managed to pull up, then slowly pulls her phone away from her ear. When the screen lights up, and the contact name “13” shows up on her phone, she gasps in part shock and part anger, the phone slipping from her hand and clattering to the hardwood floor of her dressing room.

She wasn’t expecting that.

He’d been silent these last couple of weeks, giving her space after everything that had happened, so him calling so suddenly was…strange. 

And Summer was definitely not prepared to speak to him today. Especially when she hadn’t sorted out how she felt and how she’d go about handling this ridiculous situation.

The noise alerts Alex and Sabrina, who Summer can hear scramble to their feet before they start knocking on the door. 

“Summer,” Sabrina calls. “Are you okay in there?”

“Do you need help?” Alex offers.

Summer takes a deep breath, trying to calm her sudden racing heart and staring at her phone in total offense. She can hear Mat going “Hello? Summer?” and prays Sabrina and Alex can’t hear him at all.

“I’m fine,” Summer croaks out. “Just dropped my phone.”

She quickly bends down, grabbing her phone and ending the call, turning off her phone, and tossing it back into her purse. Quickly, she looks in the mirror, adjusting the dress one final time and fixing her hair. 

There’s a slight flush to her cheeks, and she schools her facial expression, pointing at her reflection in the mirror as if to say “Get your shit together,” before squaring her shoulders and opening the door.

“What about this one?” Summer asks, pasting on her best “nothing to see here” smile. 

Sabrina and Alex exchange suspicious glances, and Summer promptly ignores them.

And also especially ignores the way her heart hasn’t stopped pounding in her chest since hearing Mat’s voice.

~

Mat looks down at his phone one more time, then back at Summer’s building. 

He hadn’t seen her since everything that had gone down at Sabrina and Anders’ place, and she’d been ignoring his texts and calls, save the one she definitely didn’t mean to answer the other day.

Part of him knows it’s because she’s probably upset at him and Anders for lying to her, but before, when she was upset, he was used to her arguing with him, with her still being around.

All this space and silence was new, and he didn’t like it at all.

As he approaches the front of her building, nerves start to creep in. 

What the fuck am I doing here?

The more he wondered, the more he was afraid, the more he thought about her. And the more he thought about her, the more she got under his skin, the more she invaded his dreams, the more he knew he couldn’t waste another second without seeing her, or feeling her one more time.

No matter how badly he may have fucked up. 

There’s a buzz, a loud one, that snaps him back into reality, and he’s surprised when “Come on up!” from Summer's cheery voice greets his ears.

He hears another buzz and the snick of the doors unlocking, so he rushes in without a second thought, taking the elevator to Summer’s floor. 

When he gets to her door, he knocks tentatively, noticing she’s got some door decoration hanging over her peephole, and Mat feels his gut churn irritably. 

“Coming!” Summer calls, and Mat’s heart suddenly starts to thunder in his chest. 

Hold the fuck up. Is she expecting someone?

Blood starts to boil in his veins.

She let me in without even knowing who I was.

He can hear her footsteps getting closer to the door.

Is she…is she going on a date?

The thought is irrational, he knows, but he can’t help but worry about it anyway.

There’s a distinct shattering sound that echoes in his ears. Before he even debates if he has the right to think that, let alone even think of asking it, the door opens and Mat’s eyes are graced with the stunning reality of Summer’s natural beauty.

She’s wearing an oversized graphic t-shirt that has him questioning if she’s even wearing pants, and her long beautiful curls are down, stray curls framing her face, and then those chocolate eyes are staring at him in disbelief and he just-

Fuck.

“Hi.” He breathes, heart in his stomach.

God damn she’s so fucking beautiful.

“Mat?” Summer asks, like she doesn’t believe what’s in front of her. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you.” He begins. “I know it’s been a minute, but-”

“It’s been almost three weeks, actually,” Summer deadpans. “And now isn’t a good time.”

“Expecting someone else?” He all but interrogates, venom quickly seeping into his voice. It’s too easy with Summer, too easy to slip back into their little game, no matter how much he doesn’t want to.

But apparently Summer doesn’t want to either. She gives no indication that she’s heard him, no obvious tell that his irritation is irritating her right back. Her full lips don’t move, remain stoic and perfect and plump and-

God does he want to kiss her.

“Yes, actually.” She tells him. “I have friends coming over, and-”

Mat goes to her before he can think about it. He’s moving into her space, backing her into her apartment and kicking her door shut behind him before he takes her in his arms, spinning them around to press her back into the door and then sinking his hands into her hair, pulling her head back, and kissing her like his life depends on it.

For a moment, time stands still when his lips meet hers. He feels like his universe was knocked off its axis without her, and being close to her again, it’s like everything falls back into place. 

All the tension, all the worry, all the “will she, won’t she,” it all falls away and disappears. 

The only thing that matters is Summer.

Relief instantly floods his veins when he feels her relax against him, when her hands land on his shoulders, and it dissipates just as quickly when she puts just enough pressure under her hands and pushes him away.

Mat backs up, hands dropping away from her altogether, even though his fingertips tingle with the need to reach for her, to bring her back.

Summer looks angry.

“No.” She says firmly. “Absolutely not.”

No no no no no he thinks. Panics.

“Summer, I-” He begins, watching her walk past him and moves further into her living room. 

“No, Mathew. You don’t do what you did and show up here and kiss me and expect me to just forgive you.”

“I’m sorry, I just meant to-”

“I know what you meant. But you still shouldn’t have done it.” Summer spits, all fire and brimstone. “You can’t come here and kiss me like I’m still your dirty little secret.”

“What?” He shakes his head, staring at Summer in disbelief. “You’re not my dirty little secret, Summer. That’s not what this was at all.”

“Yeah,” she rolls her eyes. “Okay.”

“I wanted to tell you the truth,” he insists, swearing, “I just…I just couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t tell me that Anders tried to enforce some stupid rule you didn’t need to listen to because you’re both grown men? Couldn’t tell me that he was being overprotective and that he told you you couldn’t be with me? Couldn’t tell me that you didn’t have the guts to tell him no to his face? What of any of that ‘couldn’t’ you do, Mat?”

Mat frowns. “He’s my captain, Summer.”

“What the fuck does that mean to me? He’s my brother in law. I could’ve handled him on my own, spoken to him and told him to back the fuck off, and Sabrina would’ve told him the same. Instead you made it sound like he knew the whole time but was just having trouble accepting it.”

“You’re right. I handled it terribly, and I’m sorry.”

She stares at him for a second, then nods. “Okay, I accept your apology, now get out.”

His stomach bottoms out. “What?”

“Just leave, Mat.” She says, shaking her head and pointing at her front door behind him. “Just leave.”

He doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t know what else to do, so he just nods, doing exactly as she asks.

~

Mat lets out a frustrated groan, dropping down to the ice to lay on his back, pain running through his bones as he shuts his eyes.

He can hear a teammate skating closer to where he lays, before feeling the blade of a stick poke him in the side. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Isn’t that the fucking question of the day?

It had been a week since she’d kicked him out and no matter what he did, he couldn’t get the look on her face out of his head, and he couldn’t escape the lingering tingle on his lips after kissing her after spending so much time away from her. 

The reality is that he had Summer, and then he didn’t. And though to everyone else it should seem like that’s normal, that they’ve always been at odds and don’t like each other, it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Mat never hated Summer at all, and he never wanted to keep her a secret, but he thought that was his only option, the only way to go about finally being able to have her.

And he still ended up losing her anyway. 

“Nothing.” Mat mutters, keeping his eyes shut and trying to focus on the freezing surface beneath him, wiggling his toes in his skates.

“Looks like something.” He hears Tito mutter as he skates closer. “You’re skating like shit today.”

“Thanks for that babe.” Mat deadpans. “Appreciate it.”

“Did you get dumped or something?” Tito asks again.

Mat’s eyes fly open at that, and he lolls his head to the side to glare at him. “Not so fucking loud, dingus.”

“Well is it true or not?” His best friend presses. 

“I don’t even know if we were officially together in the first place.”

Across the ice, a loud voice echoes. “You’re not gonna be together in the future either if you don’t get your shit together.”

Mat finds himself shooting up into a sitting position, head spinning to look at his captain, who’s already looking at him with a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Anders’ mouth presses together in a firm line as he skates closer to Mat and Tito, and when he’s close enough, he jabs Mat in the leg with the blade of his stick. “It means you need to apologize, you idiot.” 

Mat just stares at him. “Thought you said you didn’t want me to be around her?”

“I said I didn’t want you to be around her if you weren’t serious about her. You moping around the locker room, skating like shit, acting like you just got divorced - that tells me that I was wrong about all of this, and that shit might be a little serious.”

Mat stays silent. He’s not exactly sure what to tell his captain at this point. A week ago it would’ve been “Fuck you very much,” but he’s pretty sure Anders is trying to…apologize?

He assesses him carefully, then it clicks. “Summer and Sabrina chewed you out, huh?”

Anders doesn’t look impressed. “I got what was coming to me. Looks like you did, too.” 

Well that he couldn’t deny. 

“I tried to apologize.” Mat admits. “She told me to take a hike.”

Anders scoffs. “Did you expect anything less? And since when do you back down from arguing with her?”

“Like you said, shit’s pretty serious. So…yeah. I backed down and I left when she told me to.”

Tito taps Mat in the leg with his skate gently. “You love her?”

Mat hesitates to answer, not because he’s not sure. He’s pretty sure he does, almost certain, but he’s never said it, not really shown it, and he isn’t sure if Anders is still after his head, so he stays quiet.

Anders sighs. “What do you feel for her, exactly?”

Mat can put it into words, but as he thinks about it, it might not be the best explanation.

I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with Summer since the day I met her, but she hated me on sight, so I pretended to hate her too. Except then I realized that she actually liked me, and now because I’ve been an idiot I think she actually hates me. And I still think I might be in love with her anyway.

…to be fair, that didn’t sound so bad.

Except, when Mat says those exact words out loud to Anders, silence falls around them, and he realizes several of their teammates, including Tito, were in hearing range, and now everyone’s staring at Mat like they’re waiting for him to disintegrate right in front of them.

“I uh…” Mat begins, falters for a second. “I just mean…”

“I know what you mean.” Anders says, nodding. “You should probably tell her all that yourself though, yeah? Preferably soon. Wedding’s next week, and Sabrina and I are going on our mini honeymoon during the Thanksgiving break, so…do with that what you will.”

Without another word, Anders skates away, and only after Mat casts a scathing look to the rest of his eavesdropping teammates do they follow suit, except for Tito.

Tito shakes his head, tapping Mat’s side with the blade of his stick. “Get your shit together,” he insists, before he skates away too.

Mat sighs, laying back on the ice and letting the cold settle into his bones. 

~

Sabrina and Anders had a beautiful wedding.

Truly, really, they did. 

Summer’s heart ached with happiness for her sister. 

It was everything Sabrina had wanted, everything she’d worked hard to plan, and through all the stress and breakdowns her older sister had, she was finally married and had the wedding of a lifetime to enjoy and look back on.

And since she and Anders had managed to resolve their issues, she was genuinely happy for him again, too. 

She had a feeling she’d find it hard to remain upset at both Mat and Anders, considering the more time she had to think about it, and remembered that men were in fact, stupid, thanks to Sabrina, she did understand both their perspectives. 

Anders had known her since she was sixteen and had seen her struggle with her self love, seen her date shitty people, and witnessed every second of her and Mat arguing like their lives depended on it. He was just looking out for her, wanting to protect her and make sure she didn’t go through something like that again, and especially not with someone Anders was friends and teammates with. He had to be around Mat on a frequent basis, and if it went bad between her and him, he would’ve had to tiptoe around them both awkwardly.

Except none of that was his to worry about, or even something Summer expected of him, which he understood now. 

The part that had Summer tripped up was the fact that Mat had explicitly said he didn’t want to keep Summer a secret, and how she’d understood, but he ended up keeping her a secret too, and she unknowingly helped him. 

Realistically, she did forgive Mat, but she also knows she should’ve been able to move on from it just as easily as she did with Anders. Maybe it was the fact that she expected more from Mat, considering how…intimate they were, but deep down she knew it was just her insecurities rearing their ugly head again.

Before it was the disbelief that he’d been looking at her in appreciation the first time they met, and now it was the uncertainty that he was only doing what he thought was the right thing to do at the moment. That he didn’t keep her a secret from anyone other than Anders and that he didn’t think she was enough to be shown off to the world.

Rationally, she knew it wasn’t anything, that she should be able to just move past it. But irrationally, Summer felt like it was still too good to be true.

Besides, they’d never actually said anything other than that they liked each other. It wasn’t like they’d fallen for one another. 

Okay…maybe that’s not entirely true. Summer knew she’d started to, especially the more time they spent together, the more they’d slowly gotten to know one another. 

But they never said anything to each other, so…

She’d managed to steer clear of him so far throughout the wedding, avoiding his gaze and purposely putting herself on the opposite side of the room. Right now, she was at the bar, waiting for the bartender to make her a margarita and watching where Sabrina and Anders were greeting their guests.

It was only when she realized after a moment that she didn’t see Mat anywhere that she had a feeling avoiding him wouldn’t be possible much longer.

“Do you think there’s more legs in the world? Or eyes?”

Despite the fact that she’d been expecting him, the absurd yet intriguing question has Summer turning her head to the right, and Mat stands there with a lopsided smile that spells mischief. 

Her heart collides into her ribcage in a painful throb. It’s been almost a month since she’s seen Mathew last. He looks just as good, is everything she remembers and desperately tries to forget in the same breath.

Before she can help herself, the corner of her mouth quirks up in a small smile, and she leans against the bar a little, shaking her head. “Is that the best you’ve got?”

He shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Got your attention, didn’t I?”

She wants to roll her eyes, but refrains, turning her attention back to the bar, grabbing her drink from the bartender with a polite “thank you,” and dropping a five dollar bill in the tip jar next to her elbow. 

As she starts to walk away, Summer can feel Mat fall into step with her, and even though she doesn't want for it to happen, her body stiffens, unease seeping into her bones at his proximity.

“I didn’t know if you’d show up to the reception or not.” He confesses, the charm slipping away from his tone.

She shrugs, nonchalant. “It’s my older sister’s wedding. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d do it to avoid me. Or if you finally decided that you hated me.”

His confession almost makes her falter in her steps. Almost.

“That’s a bit dramatic, considering I remember that I told you that I never hated you in the first place.” She practically bites out, quickening her steps a little.

“Could’ve fooled me. I mean I never saw you after you kicked me out.”

“I’ve been right here.”

“It felt like you were on another planet.”

This time she does stop in her tracks, turning to face him. “What do you expect me to say, Mat? I’m not exactly happy about what happened. I know you apologized, and I get it, I just…I need time to come to terms with it, okay?”

Summer can see Sabrina approaching over his shoulder, and she shakes her head slightly, letting Sabrina know that she can handle this. Thankfully, she nods, and moves to make conversation with another table of her guests. 

Mat looks at Summer then, swallowing a lump in his throat. “Tell me what I can do to help then. What do I have to do to make this right? Tell me how to fix this.”

She shakes her head, taking a step back. “You can’t,” she says, already retreating. “You just can’t.”

His eyes burn into her back as she leaves, and heads back to her seat. She’s determined to stay out of Mat’s way and keep her eyes away from his for the rest of the night, no matter how much her heart twists in her chest.

~

Mat stuffs one hand in the pocket of his hoodie, the other one clutching the bouquet of roses as he crosses the street, approaching Summer’s building for the first time since she kicked him out.

He felt like a bit of a stalker, showing up to her place unannounced again, but he felt like he didn’t know what else to do. 

He’d tried asking Anders for advice, and the only thing his captain did was remind Mat that he and Sabrina were leaving on their mini honeymoon, and to take care of it before they got back.

So…this was him fixing it himself. Or trying to anyway. 

It takes him an embarrassing amount of time to actually work up the courage to press the call button to her apartment building. This time, when he presses it, instead of Summer letting him up immediately, there’s a small pause, before her soft voice comes through the speaker.

“Mat?”

He pauses, waving awkwardly at the little camera. “Hi.”

Another pause, then he hears Summer sigh. “You’re not going to give up on this, are you?”

“Probably not, no.” Mat answers honestly, running a hand through his hair. 

There’s silence, and then the building door buzzes and Mat pauses for a second too long before heading through it, and up to Summer’s apartment. 

He only manages to knock once before the door flies open and reveals Summer standing there in jeans, a white tank top, and a black cardigan over it, her feet in fuzzy socks and even fuzzier house slippers. 

Still, she looks so fucking beautiful.

Summer has a look on her face that he can’t read, and that in itself scares the shit out of him. He’s experienced every single one of Summer’s emotions, been the target of a few of them too many times to count, but this one is…

Different.

“For you,” he forces himself to say, handing the roses out to her. “As an apology. Or, the start to one.”

Summer eyes the roses, and for a split second Mat thinks he can see the corner of her mouth quirk up in a little smile, but then it’s gone. She takes the roses from him hesitantly, cradling them in her arms and staring at them for a second.

Mat hovers in the doorway, unsure of what to do.

Summer clears her throat, deciding for the both of them. “Are you just going to loiter in my hallway, thirteen? Or do you want to come in?” 

The urge he used to instinctively have to roll his eyes is gone, and instead all he can do is nod, crossing over the threshold when she steps aside to let him in. 

He toes off his shoes by the door, following her inside. He waits while she puts the roses in a vase, looking at the art on her walls.

When she comes back, they sit on the couch, and Mat takes a small breath.

“Maybe I should go first this time,” Summer says suddenly. He nods, waiting patiently, and she sighs. 

“I want to start off by saying that I do forgive you, and that I do understand where you and Anders were coming from, no matter how ridiculous. I think the thing that's kept me upset is that I couldn't tell for myself whether or not you kept me a secret for you, or for Anders.”

“It was for Anders,” he swears. “I would never keep you a secret, Summer. I swear.”

“Okay,” she nods, accepting his answer. “Then with that being said, I don’t want to completely put you on the spot, but what exactly is this?”

“This?” Mat asks, confused.

“You and I,” Summer says. “What are we? Because I’m going to be honest, I’m not really sure.”

“Well, I would like to say you’re my girlfriend, but we didn’t really establish that.” He hesitates, gauging her reaction. “Would you…would you agree that we were dating?”

Summer nods. “Yeah, I thought we were. I thought you were my boyfriend.”

Mat really doesn’t like the past tense she’s using, but ignores it. “Is there anything that's stopping you from thinking that I still am?”

“I just don't know that I'm clear on how you feel, and I would prefer we lay our cards out on the table now.”

“Okay,” he says, turning his body towards her. “That first day that we met, I’d spotted you before I even realized who you were. You came inside with Sabrina, and I could see you from where I was in the kitchen. I was staring at you when you met me, admittedly for probably a long time, because from that very first second, I thought you were beautiful, and I wanted to get to know you.”

Mat can see Summer’s surprised by his admission, but he continues. “I’ve always liked you, and I’ve always been interested, but I was under the impression that you didn't like me, so I just followed your lead. I was jealous of your ex, I was jealous of that random dude from the club, and it was because this whole time I felt like I'd ruined my chances before I even had one. When you were finally single, and we slept together for the first time, it felt like I finally did have that chance, but then Anders stepped in and…well you know the rest.” 

Summer’s quiet for a second, observing him, and then she nods. “I knew who you were when we met, it was kind of hard not to. I thought you were cute and I was excited to meet you, but then when I caught you staring, I got insecure. I thought you were judging me, and that's why I shut you out and didn't let you in at first.” 

Mat’s heart shatters in his chest. 

How could you not see I thought you were the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen? He wants to ask her, How could you not see you had me in the palm of your hands that very first day?

“I thought that there was no way that you would be interested in someone like me, so I put up a wall and thought it would be better to keep you at a distance. I didn't really intend for us to bicker for as long as we did.” Summer admits.

She takes a deep breath, fiddling with her own hands. “When I was with my ex, I was genuinely with him, and then when I wasn't, and you and I slept together, I was genuinely into you. I had a feeling that it might be complicated between you and Anders, and when you suggested not telling him anything at first, I understood, and I still understand, but I'm still having a hard time in my head trying to convince myself that you weren't trying to be malicious.” 

Mat moves to reassure her, but the soft smile she gives him stops him. “I know that you weren't, but like I said, that's for me to convince myself of and not you.”

“So…not that I have selective hearing, I’m just trying to get this right. Do you have feelings for me?” Summer laughs softly at his question, but nods, so he continues. “And I have feelings for you. And you forgive me for what happened?” 

Summer nods again, “I do.”

“Okay…then…” Mat trails off, unsure of how this is supposed to go. 

“Then?”

“Are we…okay?” He asks.

“We’re okay,” Summer says, nodding. There’s a moment where Mat’s relieved, where he feels like he can breathe again, but then she says “But I don’t know if we should get back together. Or…get together, however you want to put it.”

Mat’s heart thumps hard in his chest. “What?” 

“Not today. Not right now.” She says, a small shake in her head. “I think…don't you think we need to take a step back?” 

“What about a step at a time?” He offers. 

Summer blinks. “What?”

“You said we shouldn’t get back together today, and I can see your point. Not today. But maybe…maybe we can just take this a day at a time?”

“Mat…” Summer hesitates, completely unsure. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to know. Not right now. That’s why we can take it a day at a time.”

She eyes him quietly, a million emotions flitting across her face as the seconds pass between the two of them. “What would you even do? Where would we even start?”

“Coffee.” Mat says immediately. “Just coffee. Nothing more, nothing less. Just let me buy you a coffee.”

Summer’s quiet, and for a second, Mat worries she’s going to say no, but then her shoulders relax, and she nods. “Okay, coffee sounds good.”

~

Three Months Later

“You just wanted me close to a knife when it was in your hand, didn’t you?”

Summer shakes her head with a small laugh, turning the knife around in her hand so she holds the blade between her fingers, placing the handle in Mat’s hand. He takes it, but the hesitancy is still in his gaze, so she idles up beside him, bumping his hip a little before focusing on the kitchen counter.

Mat had admitted that he hadn’t tried Filipino food before when Summer and Sabrina had gone to visit their parents in New Jersey, so she’d offered to cook for him only on the condition he helped out.

Their father, Sonny, had come from the Philippines as a child with their grandparents. Their mother, Shauna, who’d grown up in the Bronx, lost her parents by the time she’d married their dad, and so the girls had mostly grown up with the Maldonado family.

Their grandmother, Soledad - the “S” naming tradition in the family ran deep - had taught the girls how to cook staple dishes when they were young, so Summer could make this in her sleep.

She’d already gone through the meticulous and thorough process of showing Mat how to wash rice and correctly measure for the correct amount of water, and that was currently bubbling away in the rice cooker on her kitchen counter. 

Now, she was going to walk him through making the marinade for probably the easiest dish to introduce Mat to when it came to Filipino cuisine - chicken adobo.

“Okay, so I’m going to cut up the onion, but I need you to mince the garlic. We have eight cloves here, and you’re going to take a piece of garlic and put it under your blade,” she instructs, grabbing one of the extra cloves of garlic she’d put aside for practice, and moving it to her board. She places her blade right on top and waits until Mat’s done the same.

“Good, now don’t hesitate, just bring the meat of your fist, pinky side down, onto the back side of the blade, and smash the clove. Just be sure you’re holding the handle of the knife firmly, like this,” Summer says, then brings her hand down, listening to the blade and the satisfying crunch of the garlic clove beneath it.

Mat follows suit on his own clove, and of course, because he’s apparently good at everything, gets it right on the first try. He smiles shyly anyway, waiting for her confirmation, to which she smiles, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Perfect.”

Mat beams at the praise. “Really?”

“Yeah, so just do that to the other seven, and it’ll be easier to chop those up. Think you can handle it?”

He nods, reaching for another clove, and Summer tosses him the one on her board before grabbing the onion. 

They work in a silent tandem, and Summer chances a look at him to find his tongue peeking out from between his lips in concentration.

It makes her heart twinge with something she isn’t totally ready to come to terms with.

They’d been doing this…thing…taking it a day at a time, for the last few months. Mat had taken her out on countless dates, focusing on romancing her the way he would have had they not gotten off on the wrong foot. There had been some sex, not a lot, but whenever they did have sex, it was always intense, and Mat always made a point to reassure Summer every chance he got, in bed and out of it, that he thought she was beautiful, kind, and everything he ever wanted.

Outside of that, Mat had taken her to meet his parents and his sister, and even joined her on her bi-weekly Saturday visits to Anders and Sabrina’s home for family dinners. The captain and his winger were still working on repairing that whole mess, but it was getting better, for the most part. 

And now he was here. In her kitchen. Learning how to make her Lola’s chicken adobo. 

When she finished with the onion, she tossed everything into a pan with a little vegetable oil, placed it on the stove and fired up the burner. She grabbed a bowl from the cabinet, then brought it over to Mat for him to dump in his minced garlic. 

“Pretty good there, thirteen.” She says before guiding him to the sink to wash and dry their hands. 

“Okay, now what do I do?” 

Summer smiles, pointing at the ingredients next to the stove. There’s shoyu, vinegar, brown sugar, black pepper, chicken stock, peppercorns, and bay leaves. “I need you to measure out the ingredients on the card by the bottles and put them in that little bowl next to it.”

“What? I’m on measuring duty?” He asks, wrinkling his nose with a frown.

Summer leans up and kisses his nose before backing away. “It’s because you’re meticulous, so I trust you.”

He blinks after her kiss, then nods, heading over to his new station with a little more pep in his step.

Summer stirs the onions around since they’ve already started to cook, then grabs the minced garlic and tosses it in before heading to the fridge. 

Her Lola’s recipe is usually meant as dinner for two, so she had six pieces of chicken thighs rinsed and pat dry set aside specifically for dinner tonight. Bringing the plate out of the fridge and over to the pan, she grabs a pair of tongs and places each piece skin side down once the onions and garlic get fragrant, allowing them to brown a bit. 

She double checks on Mat’s progress, only to find him already done, marinade measuring and poured in the bowl, and his eyes on Summer, watching her with a cheshire smile.

“Look at you,” she muses, going easily to him when he opens his arms, wrapping her own around his waist. “Hope you’re not too attached to your diet.” She teases. 

Mat scoffs. “As if.”

“You’re right,” Summer agrees, running her hands under his shirt and caressing the hard muscle of his abdomen. “You don’t really need it.”

She feels him flex under her fingers and she laughs, looking up to find him smirking down at her, the heat in his eyes evident. “Well I kinda need it, gotta stay in shape to keep up with you at night.”

As if to remind her, her body’s muscles choose that moment to remind her of their ache, and Summer flushes, pushing away from Mat to head back to her place on the stove. 

“Well,” she begins, flipping the chicken over. “I appreciate your dedication. Can you bring over the marinade?”

He nods, grabbing the bowl and carefully idling up beside her. 

“Okay, now you’re just gonna pour it over everything, but make sure you cover each piece of chicken when you go.” She watches as Mat follows her instruction, and once he’s done, she shakes the pan a little, lowers the temperature a smidge, then covers it with a lid.

“Now what?” He asks, looking around. She’d already washed and set the rice to cook in the rice cooker on her counter, but he didn’t see any additional food lying around.

“Well, we have to let it cook for about fifteen minutes, and then we add the finishing touches, and then we eat!”

She ushers him back toward the stove to wash their hands again. It was something she’d learned as a kid, washing her hands after every step in cooking, and she hoped Mat didn’t think it was weird or strange.

He didn’t seem to mind though, going easily along and washing and drying his hands beside her without complaint.

“So…we have fifteen minutes to ourselves?” He asks, setting up a timer on his phone. 

Summer raises a brow at him in suspicion. “Yes…why?”

Mat smirks, leaning with his hip against the sink when he reaches for Summer. “Cause I’ve been thinking about eating your pussy since this morning. Can I?”

He takes her in his arms before she can answer, and then he’s kissing her neck, hands wrapping around her waist and down to her ass, palming the flesh in his hands. She moans a little when his teeth nip at her neck, and she has to push him away to be able to back up and out of his space. “Mat, we shouldn’t, we-”

“Please baby,” he pleads, taking a step and crowding her back against the counter. “Just this once?” She feels his hands creep at the hem of her dress - the easiest thing to wear around him, especially when they tend to have moments like this - his fingers bunching it up to her stomach when he drops to his knees. 

Summer finds herself automatically grabbing the material between her fingers, nodding her head and lifting her hips away from the counter for Mat to pull her underwear down her legs. She doesn’t miss the smile that crosses his face when he runs the lace through his fingers, and stuffs the fabric in the pocket of his jeans.

“Jump up on the counter, baby.” He says, waiting for Summer to settle onto the counter before pulling her forward, her butt resting on the edge of the counter. Mat grabs one of her barstools from the other side and places it right in front of her before taking a seat, pressing “start” on the timer on his phone.

He feels like he could drool a little at the sight of her open and bare for him, the prettiest shade of pink shining at him like a neon sign saying “just for you.”

Not another second passes before he’s burying his face into her pussy, Summer letting out a blissful and content sigh as her body relaxes and Mat settles her feet on his shoulders, gently circling his hand around her ankles and encouraging her to wrap her legs around his head, to pull him in closer.

She doesn’t, not right away, anyway, too wrapped up in the feeling of Mat’s tongue. He squeezes her ankle once, trying to get her attention, and all Summer can manage is to loll her head to the side to peek at him. He rises up a little, speaking against her skin, not wanting to be too far from her.

“Wrap those beautiful legs around my head, baby.”

All she can manage is a nod, and Mat returns to his task, moaning when her warm thighs touch either side of his face, his shoulders under her knees and her beautiful calves resting on his back. He can feel when she locks her ankles behind him and he settles in closer, relaxing against her as his mouth continues to devour her pussy, her arousal dripping down his chin.

He feels her nails scratch against his scalp when her hands dive into his hair, fingers gripping his curls and lightly tugging. Mat knows those tugs by heart now, which one means to keep going, which ones mean to ease up, which ones mean she’s loving it and not to stop or she’ll kill him.

“Mat,” she whimpers, her thighs squeezing his head and he nods, bringing his hands up to squeeze her breasts, loving when her hands cover his, holding onto him. 

He says nothing, just focuses on keeping his pace and the way Summer’s body reacts to his mouth, beginning to feel her start to shake under him as she gets closer and closer to her orgasm.

Right when Mat thinks she’s going to grip his hair tighter, letting him know that she’s about to come, she suddenly sits up, pushing him back gently.

“Baby?” He asks, confused.

“Get up,” she says, and he’s up and off the stool in a second, approaching her carefully. He’s only a little surprised when she reaches for the waistband of his jeans, making quick work of the button and the zipper. By the time Mat’s brain catches up to him and finally understands what Summer wants, she’s got her hands in the waistband of his briefs, pulling them down while Mat’s cock springs free.

He watches as her pupils blow out wide, and smirks a little. Gently, he places a finger under her chin, coaxing her gaze back to his face. He kisses her a couple of times while crowding into her space, resting his cock against her soaked pussy while she chases the taste of herself on his tongue. 

Mat grips her waist, pulling her a little further to the edge of the counter, gently moving his hips. 

“Needy girl,” he playfully chastises. “Won’t even let me finish eating that pretty pussy because you’re so desperate for cock.” 

Her eyes flash up at him, her playful spitfire in her eyes at his dirty talk. Mat’s found out that this is the kind of push and pull she prefers most, when he teases her or says dirty things and she can fight him back on it in a way that doesn’t cost them both. 

Mat can see that she wants to talk back, but she bites her lip to refrain herself. 

“Use your words pretty girl,” he says, grinding his cock against her. “Ask me nicely.”

“Please give me your cock,” Summer replies obediently. “I need it.”

Mat smiles, murmuring a soft “Good girl,” then he’s moving his hips back until the tip of his cock catches at her entrance and pushes in slowly, watching Summer’s face the whole time.

He loves this part, loves watching the way her whole body relaxes, watching the way her eyes flutter shut and her beautiful mouth parts just a little as her body welcomes him. He leans forward, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss as he bottoms out, waiting for her to adjust to him.

He’s learned he loves that part, too - how no matter how many times they’ve done this so far, she always seems to need a minute to adjust to him. But whenever she did, she took him so well that they could go at it over and over again till their muscles were sore.

While he waits for her to adjust, he takes a quick glance over at her stove, then at his phone, checking the time. Nothing’s burning, but he’s still only got about five or so minutes left.

Mat turns back to her, bending his head and burying his face into Summer’s neck, leaving filthy open mouthed kisses, speaking in between. 

“Are you okay if we make this quick? Since we are cooking and all.”

That seems to bring her back to reality just a little, because he can feel her nod, and then she’s locking her ankles behind his back again, pulling him in closer - her usual sign that she’s ready for whatever Mat gives her.

He carefully pulls back before pushing back in, setting a pace he knows is enough to bring Summer to orgasm in no time. Summer lays back on the counter, and Mat’s hands immediately go to her breasts, cupping them through the material before yanking it down, smirking to himself when he finds she’s not wearing a bra.

Mat leans down, sucking a nipple into his mouth and drawing a soft whine from Summer’s lips. A whine that tells him that she’s definitely going to come in no time if he keeps it up.

He laps at her skin with his tongue, sucking at her skin as his hips piston in and out of her, moaning when he feels her squeeze down on him as her breath catches in her throat. Her back bends and he keeps his pace, his own orgasm quickly approaching as Summer comes around him, squeezing his cock in a vice grip and wrapping her legs tighter around his waist. 

He comes a few seconds later, buried deep inside and his mouth still latched to her, tongue soothing over the now bruised skin. 

His favorite part is this, the moment right after they fuck - how she seems so content to just lay there with him and let him hold her, let him stay inside her till he’s either ready to go again or ready to help clean her up or drag them both to the shower.

They catch their breath for a moment, Mat just staring down at her, admiring her beautiful curves, her full breasts, the curve of her belly. He traces his hands down her stomach, gently caressing her skin, rubbing at where he’s still buried inside her.

Her breath catches in her throat at the same time the timer goes off on his phone, and they both jump, Mat slipping out of her suddenly, and they both hiss at the loss.

“Well,” Summer says through a small sigh, “Looks like lunch is ready.”

Mat frowns. “But I already ate?”

Summer blinks at him, and when he smirks playfully, wagging his eyebrows, she rolls her eyes, slowly sitting up. “Funny, thirteen.”

He leans in for a kiss, and she softens, going lax in his embrace. Between kisses, Mat can feel his heart hammering in his rib cage, and he murmurs “I love you, Summer,” before he can stop himself.

She pauses for a second, lips frozen against his, and he backs up, gauging her reaction. She’s shocked, that much is obvious, and Mat can see the hesitation, so he leans in, kisses the tip of her nose, then her cheeks.

“You don’t have to say it back,” he says, “I can wait as long as you need me to. I just wanted to make sure I laid all my cards out on the table.”

She leans back, looking into his eyes. Mat knows what she’s looking for, knows she’s trying to make sure he’s being genuine, but he’s pretty sure he’s got hearts in his eyes, so she’s probably going to find what she’s looking for pretty quick.

“Mat…” She says, his name soft and syrupy on her lips.

“I love you,” he repeats again, leaning in to kiss her again. “And you can tell me when you’re ready.”

He pulls away, heading toward the stove to finish up, but Summer takes him by surprise, pulling him back to her and kissing him like her life depends on it, wrapping her arms around his neck and drawing him close.

“I’m ready,” she says between kisses. “I love you.”

[kingthunder]

So I'm doing an Astarion origin run and I'm not very far into it yet but it's been really interesting to me from a character work perspective. I'm trying to RP him as himself from a non-origin run. Like, take the guy who tries to sleep with you and gives approval for doing all kinds of shitty little things and can't think ahead etc, and put him in a situation where he's the leader now.

There are definitely some situations where I don't think he'd say any of the PC dialogue options, but I've been doing my best.

Anyway, the character dynamics that are coming out are not what I expected going in!

Gale: Astarion thinks he's annoying as shit and leaves him at camp.

Lae'zel: Astarion thinks she's physically intimidating and he might want to get closer to her, except her upbringing and way of thinking is so foreign to him he can't get a bead on what tactic to take. So he mostly avoids her just in order to not piss her off.

Karlach: Astarion likes her but she doesn't like him yet. He brings her along in his party because she can hit stuff and is less likely than Lae'zel to try to murder him. He doesn't think flirting will work with her but he doesn't know what will work—bringing her along is also a way to study her reactions to things and figure out how to make her like him more, because he wants her to.

Shadowheart: They're besties. She was the first one there on the beach and he's kind of imprinted on her a little. They're both evasive and not super fussed about morals and they recognize that in each other. She always has a lot to say when they're running around doing stuff, and Astarion values her opinion (he doesn't even know what his own opinion is half the time so he's glad there's someone else around give him input who isn't a Do-Gooder type). They just had a conversation last night where he pressed her about her secrets and she admitted to Shar worship, and in a fit of camaraderie he organically came out as a vampire to her, and it felt very natural and right.

Wyll: Pisses him off even more than Gale but for a completely different reason. Wyll is the kind of hero he dreamed about when he was a kid, the kind he wished would rescue him from Cazador and never did. He wants to hate him. But Wyll LIKES ASTARION, and Astarion's starved little heart is just eating it up. It makes him want to cosplay as a person who does nice things so that Wyll will keep liking him. It makes him want to *gag* be a better person. But he knows he's not a better person, he's just pretending to be, and that eventually he'll do something that will piss Wyll off too much and he'll leave. Shit, he'd better sleep with Wyll to get him to stick around.

The wyllstarion is happening so naturally I'm shook.

[triglycercule]

wahhh wahhh triglycercule post more NON jk fashion au related content i whisper as i post this. double post today because i genuinely love jk!dream and also if i dont post the dreamtale twins together i will actually die! you might consider her crazy way of somehow getting into trouble a form of bad luck but i see it as more of a being too pure for the world meeting a world that's not all that great. jk!dream lives up to her name she is a idyllic dream

valedictorian. practically a million extra curriculars. she can sing she can dance she can cook she can do advanced math she can fix a car jk!dream is everything jk!nightmare isn't (a loser). the types of trouble she gets into though aren't manmade (like some guy trying to rob her) but instead are naturally occurring. like one day the dreamtale household washing machine explodes because dream used it and coincidentally it was because it was faulty or something like that. really really crazy coincidences

nightmare is a fighting force in keeping her little sister alive i swear to god. she has to monitor dream a lot and when she can't she gets one of the mtt to do it for her. because if she doesn't there is bound to be something that hurts her. and because jk!nightmare is an absolute fucking loser who's stupid she came up with the genius idea of roleplaying a bigger issue than the one that dream's about to encounter (because then she gets to keep her safe and also feed into her pretend villian persona). like for example with the washing machine thing earlier nightmare would probably distract dream with some sort of evil monologue and then put her own load in the washer before she could. that way it won't FUCKING EXPLODE (comments from currently existing jk fashion au sanses :3)

"ah, my younger kin, dream. quite an enigma she is. on one hand, she's the epitome of perfection. even i can admit that, for she's loved by our school, family, and i. but of course, like all aside from i, she has her faults."

"for example, last week, our bloodline was strolling around the kingdom on the search for a new mirror of truth, as the one in our castle bathhouse had shattered. how did that happen? uh, i might've maybe... i shall maintain secrecy."

"returning to the point, dearest dream had almost lost herself in the shopping district, claiming she had seen a lost puppy in a mirror that she wanted to help. a chivalrous reason indeed, but my, dream can be quite... foolish sometimes. nevertheless, blood is thicker than water, and our bond has never been closer."

they still love eachother in this universe because there was no corruption thing. also nightmare's bullies were just other elementary school kids in this au so it wasn't like fully grown adults vs a 6 year old at least. she's recovered from it (somewhat) and doesn't blame dream. dream's too perfect for anybody to hate her. dream supports nightmare's delusion and nightmare keeps her alive. equivalent exchange (dream has no idea nm is doing this. ok now the mtt‼️

"oh. my. god. dream? like, dream dream? she's literally my idol, i love her so much! i'm the 7th member of her fanclub out of like, the entire school, which is like 300-ish students! she's cute, and pretty, and she gets this a lot, but her voice is literally like an angel's~ i've never heard what a hymn sounds like, but it probably sounds like dream's voice. and no matter how much i search up online, i can never find any dirt on her too! she's got a perfect online footprint! huh? why was i searching dream up? eh... haha... let's move on~"

"dream? she's really cool. there's a reason she's part of the star students at this school, along with swap and ink. nobody really knows what it takes for someone to become a "star student" though. none of the students know, none of the teachers either. apparently it's a title given to a student specifically from the principal? still, dream probably deserves it though. she's good enough to win a nobel prize. one day she's gonna cure cancer or something."

"oh, dream? that girl with the angel halo crown thing? yeah, i know her. she volunteers at the dog park i bring my dog to, the bakery i go to get snacks, the local art museum, the ice cream shop during summers, nightmare's gang, the... car dealership? wait, hold on. how many volunteer opportunities is this girl doing? is she not getting paid? that has to be illegal. or at least some form of monster rights violation..."

both of the jk!au dreamtale twins are soooo silly i love them. the more and more i elaborate on jk fashion au the more i realize that this is just turning into sans aus but anime tropes but its okay i like it its funny. jk fashion au was always meant to be silly and slice of life and fluffy anyways. anyways i love her i'm literally her number one fan. i mean i AM the principal of this school aftersll,,,,,, this really was our,,, jk fahsion au. says dream at the end of the au (there is no end because this au has no lore what am i talking about

[southerngothicchic]

It's Only You I'm Dreaming Of

Modern!Actor!Steve x Actress!Reader

18+

Handsome bastard.

You narrow your eyes as you watch him smile for all the waiting photographers before moving down the line to talk to the press.

He's so effortlessly charming it makes your blood boil. He drinks in all the adoration and praise, all with that same smirk plastered on his lips.

That same smirk you had to endure for months while on set with him, and after when he'd follow you back to your trailer, using his best lines to get you to let him inside. He eventually wore you down, as the second you let him in, he pounced on you. He kissed you with a ferocity you had never experienced before, which only made you want more.

He had a reputation, though, and you felt so naive letting him get close to you like this. You knew he was just using you for sex, like he presumably did with his other female costars, but you still gave into him anyway. You hated yourself for it, especially when you started to develop feelings for him. You tried to ignore them, by locking them away, and pretending they didn't exist.

That was somewhat easy, once production wrapped and you went back to L.A. while he went to New York. The distance helped and for the first time in months you were free of Steve Harrington. That was, until it was time for the film to be released and you would be forced to do press tours together. You dreaded seeing him again, afraid of relapsing into your former, weaker self. You told yourself it'd be different this time, you weren't going to fall into that trap again.

That proves impossible, as you practically melt when you see him again. You actually gasp when you see how gorgeous he looks. You quickly avert your eyes, the last thing you need is for him to catch you gawking at him. Despite your best efforts, he still sees you, as you both make your way down the red carpet.

After posing for several pictures, you step over for the first of many interviews. You are in the middle of answering their question of what it was like filming your first big feature, when you feel an arm slip around you and lips against your cheek.

"And here he is, the man himself," they say, their face lighting up at his presence. "What was it like working with this guy?" They then ask while you try to maintain a neutral expression.

"Oh, it was great," you smile. "Its every actors dream to get to work on a project like this and with a cast like this. I was truly fortunate to be apart of it."

"And Steve, what was it like working with her?"

"It was wonderful, she's a fantastic actress, seriously, one of the best I've had the privilege of working with," he says, looking at you, fondly.

"Early reviews are raving about your chemistry and I can see why," they continue. "You both seem so natural together."

Steve smiles at this while you try not to cringe.

You bullshit your way through the rest of the interview, before you and Steve are ushered into the theater. He stays by your side the whole time, much to your dismay.

"What was that back there?" You ask him as you take your seats.

"Just doing my job, making us look good," he answers.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to crash my interview..." you add, as the room darkens.

"I wanted to see you and I knew you wouldn't be able to ignore me, not in front of everyone and all those cameras," he smoothly says, leaning in close to your ear.

"You couldn't have just waited until after?"

"No, because I knew you'd keep avoiding me like you have been for months."

"I wasn't avoiding you, we were on different coasts-"

"Yeah, you were," he persists, trying to keep his voice down. "When I was in town for my buddy's birthday, I texted you and you blew me off."

"Can we not do this here?" You snap, turning your head to the side.

"We can talk after," he relents. "I missed you, y'know."

You scoff. "I'm sure you did."

He sighs, frustrated, before leaning back in his seat.

You sit there, fuming, your thoughts racing. You feel trapped as you look away from his towering image on screen, only to have the real thing sitting next to you. You notice, in your periphery, that he's practically pouting. Your body feels like it's on fire, pent up frustration is threatening to burn you from the inside out.

Surprising him, you lean over and whisper, "Want to get out of here?"

He nods, taking your hand and leading you up the aisle. He pulls you through the empty lobby then out onto the sidewalk. You can't help the exhilaration you feel as he continues to lead you across the street, to a newer, luxury hotel.

"You're not wasting any time," you laugh, as he leads you into the lavish lobby.

"I got a room here ahead of time, in case I didn't feel like going home after the after party," he explains, as you both stand in front of the elevators.

He presses the button, then turns to you.

"Oh..." you reply.

"This is a nice change of plans, though. I'd rather be with you, anyway," he adds, with a smile.

The elevator dings before its door slides open. He lets you walk in first, with him close behind. The numbered button lights up when he presses it, before the door closes. As the elevator ascends, he pins you against the wall.

"I really did miss you," he breathes, ghosting his lips over yours. "And despite your icy exterior, I know you missed me too."

"Steve..." you gasp.

"You look so good tonight, honey..." he says, his hands now squeezing your waist. "This sexy little dress...I bet you wore this hoping I'd notice, didn't you?"

You gaze at him, innocently.

"I know you did, fuck..." he sighs, as you finally wrap your arms around his neck. "I'm gonna make you mine tonight."

He then presses his lips to yours for a filthy kiss. It has you both moaning, realizing just how much you've missed the other. Your fingers scratch at the back of his neck, before curling in his hair.

The ding from the elevator snaps you both out of your lustfilled daze long enough for him to pull you into the hallway. You're each panting as he leads you to his room. He quickly takes out his phone and holds it over the small panel, above the doorknob, to unlock the door. Once it lights up green, he hastily opens it and drags you inside. He takes you straight to the bedroom, almost tripping several times, as he couldn't be bothered to turn on any lights.

He sits you on the bed, while he sheds his jacket. You take this opportunity to slip off your heels and lean back on your hands. There's faint light coming from the bedside lamp and now you can see that his shirt was partially see-through. You bite your lip, wondering if he wore that on purpose. He also takes off his shoes before kneeling on the bed, next to you. He reaches for you but you pull away to lay against the plush pillows. He then crawls over to you and hovers over you. His body engulfs yours as he lowers himself onto you. You wrap your arms around him again while he gazes down at you, hungrily.

"Always playing hard to get..." he chides.

You shrug, feigning innocence again.

"I know how much you love to tease me, honey..." he says, leaning in close, his voice low and sultry. "...it makes me ache for you even more."

He kisses you deeply, as you whimper against his lips. He grinds himself against you, emphasizing just what you do to him.

You hold him closer, as you make out, your earlier feelings now forgotten, because all that matters to you is him. You should be furious with yourself over how easily you gave into him again, but his lips feel so right on yours. You want more, though, your greedy thoughts taking over. You remember the delicious way he thrusted his hips, making you scream until you barely had any voice left.

Your hands move down his back until they're pulling at his shirt. Once it's untucked, you slide your hands under it and press them against his skin. He moans at the feeling of your fingertips gliding up his spine. Your nails claw at his back once, before he breaks the kiss.

"Get undressed, honey," he breathes, "I need to feel you."

You nod, before he leans up. You sit up and move to the edge of the bed.

"Can you unzip me?" You ask, glancing over your shoulder at him.

"Of course," he smiles, moving closer to you.

He pulls the zipper down, revealing your bare back. He sharply inhales at the sight. When you're fully unzipped, you stand and push your dress to the floor, leaving you in dainty, black panties. Steve's so mesmerized by you, that he can't help but stare. It actually makes you blush as you climb back onto the bed. He then quickly pulls his shirt over his head, ruffling his already perfectly messy hair. His fingers fumble with unbuttoning his pants at first, but he soon pulls them from his legs. You smile at his tiny, blue underwear as he joins you, on the bed.

He crawls on top of you and props his hands by your head, as he gazes at you.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he laments, lowering his body to yours. "After I left, I thought about you every night, looking up at me just like this...it's my favorite thing in the world."

He pauses to kiss you, lowly moaning into it.

"Do you believe me when I say I missed you, now?"

You nod.

"I need to hear you say it."

"I believe you," you say, reaching up to run your hand through his hair.

He smiles, leaning in to kiss you again.

"Now," he begins, leaning up, "until you admit that you missed me, too, I'm not going to touch you."

You look up at him, mouth slightly agape as you watch him move to sit beside your head, with his back resting against the pillows.

"Seriously?" You ask, sitting up and turning to face him.

He nods, as he palms himself through his underwear.

"You know what you need to do, honey...I want you to show me how much you missed me, too."

He's extra smug, leaning back, waiting for your next move. You narrow your eyes before crawling over to him. You kneel between his legs, then run your hands over his thighs. His eyes stay trained on you as you lean down, to press wet kisses to his inner thighs. You kiss your way up one then move to the other side, while he's quietly moaning above you. You glance up at him before pressing a kiss to his clothed length. He shudders at it as his hand immediately goes to cradle your face.

"God, you're so fucking gorgeous," he laments.

You continue kissing him through his underwear, until moving your lips upward, to kiss up his stomach, then his chest. You nuzzle your face in his chest hair while pressing intermittent kisses to his skin. Your nose brushes against the thick silver chain that rests below his collarbone. His hand is still gently holding your face as you place kisses up his neck. His smile is plastered on his lips as you kiss the moles on his cheek.

"Steve..." you breathe, into his skin. "I missed you, too."

He whimpers before pulling you into a kiss.

"Mmm, I knew it," he smiles, making you giggle. "Was that so hard to admit?"

"Kind of, yeah," you confess, pulling away. "I didn't want to get my hopes up only to have them crushed again."

"That's not gonna happen this time," he assures, as he caresses your cheek with his thumb. "I want to be with you."

"Like, exclusively?"

"Yes," he laughs. "I only want you, being away from you made me realize how important you are to me, and that...I love you."

Your eyes widen at his admission.

"You what?" You ask, before you can stop yourself.

"I love you," he says again, pulling you tightly to him, so your chests are pressed together. "Even if you don't feel the same, I had to tell you."

You feel an aching in your chest that you hadn't felt in months, that you felt the last time you were together. Tears sting your eyes as you try to pull out of his embrace.

"You're not going anywhere," he whispers, "I'm not letting you leave me again."

"I'm not the one who left," you finally say.

"It felt like it," he counters. "I asked you to come to New York with me, and you said no-"

"Because it was all too much, being with you was too overwhelming, I needed a break," you defend. "I needed a break from how I felt when I was with you, because...I was falling in love with you, and it terrified me."

His eyes light up at your confession.

"Really?"

You nod, averting your eyes. He cradles your face with both hands, getting you to look at him.

"So, you love me too?" He asks, gazing into your eyes.

"Yes," you breathe, before he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

You finally allow your body to melt into his, as you fully lose yourself in his kiss.

"You don't need to be afraid of loving me," he then breathes, into the kiss.

You pull him even closer, kissing him harder, which illicits another whimper from him. His hands grip your hips as he thrusts up against you.

"I've been waiting all my life for you, honey," he pants, before kissing his way to your neck.

"Steve..." you whine, unable to think of anything else, but him.

"Take these off," he then growls, as he drags his finger under the waistband of your panties.

You scramble to the side of the bed and peel them from your body. He raises his hips and quickly takes his underwear off, throwing them to the floor.

"Get back over here," he says, his voice dripping with lust.

You climb back onto his lap and slowly sink down onto him.

"That's it, honey, fuck..." he praises, his eyes already rolling back from how tight you were.

You moan his name when you feel him fully seated within you. You press your forehead to his as you acclimate to him.

"Feel good?" He asks, as your eyes meet.

You nod. "God, yes..."

Your hands then cradle his face, before kissing him deeply. His moans reverberate into your mouth as you begin moving your hips. His hands have a firm hold on your hips as he tries to guide your movements.

"Yeah, bounce on it, honey..." he pants, as he watches you.

Obnoxious moans leave your lips as you ride him. You missed this, how good he felt, how he was the only guy to ever fuck you this deep. Your thighs burn as you can't get enough of him.

He then leans forward and presses wet kisses to your breast. His tongue swirls around your nipple, before sucking it between his lips. Your back arches, pushing your chest into his face even more.

"I fuckin' missed your body so much, angel," he breathes, with his face buried between your breasts.

You shiver from the significance of his pet name. He only ever called you that during sex, and it always made your head spin.

You moan his name again when he sucks multiple lovebites across the tops of your breasts. Your hips then slow as you lean forward, resting your head on his shoulder.

"Need me to take over, angel?" He asks, against your ear.

"Please..." you breathe.

He smiles, tightening his hold on your hips as he begins harshly thrusting up into you. The sounds of skin against skin echoes in your ears, as you sink your teeth into his shoulder. He moans as he fucks you harder.

"Such a perfect pussy...I'd keep you in bed all the time, if you'd let me..." he says, as your lips find his neck.

You whine his name, unsure of how much longer you can take him fucking you at such a brutal pace.

"Look at me, honey," he then breathily commands.

You raise your head and meet his hooded gaze.

"I love you, so fucking much...I'm never gonna leave you again..." he continues, before pulling you into a sloppy kiss.

"I love you, too," you reply, before screaming his name as he finally sends you over the edge.

He keeps thrusting until he finds his own release, moaning your name as he fills you with every last drop of him.

His body stays still, with his arms wrapped around you, pressing your sweaty bodies together. He murmurs more 'I love you's' into your hair, as you're still struggling to catch your breath. After just holding each other for what feels like hours, he suggests that you both have a shower. You breathlessly agree and that leads to more sex, as he presses you against the shower wall and makes you scream for him again.

You each then settle into bed, with his arms wrapped tightly around you, once again. He kisses you so softly, making you feel like the most precious thing in the world, to him. Which is exactly what you are, and he plans to spend the rest of his life making you feel that way.

[mewmewpercy]

Okay so like I'm absolutely doing this because people really do not understand the Sunday story that Penacony was supposed to show us. Especially in last patch. I'm doing this in honour of one of my favourite characters who is very well written actually.

So let's start with childhood. One of the first things we have learned about him is that him and Robin lost their home and parents at a very young age. Obviously as an older brother he would take the responsibility of caring for his younger sister no matter what especially after something like that. Some time after that tragedy they're taken in by Gopher Wood and supposedly things are fine for a time.

That changes when the charmony dove they find puts the siblings in a dilemma of not knowing what the best decision for it is. It's during this that we see exactly how much more idealistic but unsure he is. He believes that keeping it in a cage after healing it is for the best but ultimately changes his mind when Robin says different.

This is very obviously something Gopher Wood takes advantage of because it's pretty obvious in every one of the scenarios that we are shown in 2.2 Gopher Wood had a lot of influence on how he acts. Sunday was absolutely nonsexually groomed from childhood. His ideals for humanity are absolutely well intentioned and Gopher Wood takes advantage of it. Not to say Robin doesn't also care for people but she's far more realistic and grounded in her hopes and dreams for what she can do to protect the weak.

If we take the fact that it's Sunday's ideology to protect the weak by giving them a world where they're protected from the harshness of life from the equation it sounds good doesn't it? It's an absolutely wonderful ideology to have because I'm sure quite a few of us can relate to wanting to just be protected by people who have the power to do it. He is willing to be a martyr if it means saving people who can't save themselves. If you lose the bias against him for being the antagonist of this story you realize he's a good person who was led down a horrible path by someone who was supposed to be a father figure which is one of the most fucked up things I've seen a character I love go through.

Now knowing how much he cares about protecting others let's go back to what we've seen him be like since 2.0. Since the start we've seen how much he cares about Robin especially. At the end of 2.0 we see him standing alone looking at the Golden Hour when Sparkle shows up pretending to be Robin. It's the first time we see him lose composure because he's obviously affected by thinking his sister is dead and someone is trying to take advantage of it for shits and giggles. At the end he has a little monologue which at first seems like him being a fucking lunatic but then when all the stuff from 2.2 falls into place it starts to make sense.

Now to get into a part that's really gonna hurt a few people most likely. Let's talk about how he treats Aventurine. Before I get into this I'd like to state I am absolutely an Aventurine fan. I used to hate him but 2.1 changed my opinion. Okay now that's outta the way. So we have little hints that have been dropped that Sunday loves being in control. He's said to have OCD and the meeting between him, Ratio, and Aventurine is absolutely a show of that.

We've established that Sunday wants to protect the weak and that he requires control. If we take that into perspective as well as his role his methods begin to make sense. He wants the best for people and Aventurine doing what he'd done and was planning to do was interrupting the order and control he needed so he did what he felt he had to. Which was fucking with his mind and making sure he was telling the truth. It's an absolutely terrible thing to do and I understand that absolutely. Like super extreme. But it fits who Sunday is as a person. He's basically in charge of watching the dreamscape and wants the people there to be safe. He can't do that if a random factor is trying to go against his normal.

Now let's talk about the boss battle. So the lead up to it is him having us experience the story of how Penacony came to be what it is today. It went from a place for exiles to a prosperous world of dreams for people to enjoy. During the second fight we get a glimpse of his car for Robin again when she comes in. Up until then his voice was pretty bland and uncaring but when she comes in his voice falters and he seems to break character. The post fight cutscenes is probably one of the saddest thing I've watched in a while though. In this cutscenes he falls and is just so accepting of failing and seems to not care that he's literally falling. His eyes are closed and when Robin goes with him and catches him to hug him he's openly shocked. It's by far one of my favourite displays of sibling care in a hoyoverse game literally ever. And not to mention the commentary we hear as everyone wakes up. It's genuinely such a beautiful scene.

So yea I love Sunday very much and he deserves so much more than the fandom gives him because he's the antagonist.

[ohboycharlie]

THE ELEVATOR ଓ｡˚.CL16

This is my first time writing so please ignore EVERYTHING. pairing: Charles x fem!reader summary: an elevator becomes your cupid.

part2: here part3: here

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Shifting to Monaco was a huge step but the building I got to stay in felt like a reward. I swear I've never lived in such a posh place and the people? god. Rich+Italian=unnecessary attitude. I avoided leaving my flat as much as possible so I wouldn't bump into people and ruin their day with my massacred version of french and Italian.

My job required me to be physically present in the office for only 4 days in a week. This job was my dream job I mean stay at home and work? amazing. Stay at home that the office gave you? AMAZING. Even the locality was good with a coffee shop right around the corner I was living my dream and I really hoped it wouldn't turn into a nightmare.

My neighbour was weird tho. Like I don't think the person ever lived there and they only came at night (I absolutely did not try to spy from the peek hole), at times there were noises of things being thrown around and the piano and I swear I was scared for the day they would ring my bell for some salt or coffee.

The one thing I noticed the people loved was their sport. Let it be tennis or F1, they were PASSIONATE. I knew there was a grand prix the week before I shifted because of the posters. The Leclerc guy had to be too good to be pasted on every street. And the fact that he was that good-looking? Definitely poster material.

Ramen was my staple diet so a frequent grocery shop haul wasn't that surprising for anyone in my life. It was a calming Monday night when I had the sudden urge to pee while coming back. I ran for my life and just as I entered the lobby, the elevator doors were closing and the man inside did NOTHING to stop it. And it wasn't as if my presence wasn't sensed. I was running with a huge bag and screaming to stop the elevator. "Asshole". That's what described the rude person the best and to top it all off the elevator stopped on my floor. GREAT. He was my fucking weird neighbour. That act just confirmed my 'no sugar for you mister' deal.

After an eternity, the lift finally came and if looks could destroy, his door would have been in pieces. But I was a very forgiving person so he was out of my mind the way he was out of his house.

It was months after the incident and my life was going the way it was. My job kept me busy. I partied on the weekends. I dated people. There was this one guy though from my building. We usually met in the lobby and it turned out he only lived 2 floors below me! We went on a few dates but after that, I decided no dating people from the place you live because if things did not work out, it could get pretty awkward in the elevators. Elevators god I hate them. You meet every kind of person there and all they do is look down at their phones so as to not make eye contact or conversation. Elevators can also make some people claustrophobic and what if there were two people trying to get me and some guy to be together by stopping the lift and a delivery man comes in and pees because he cant handle small spaces? real questions were asked.

One fine day though, I got to get my revenge. I was going to buy ramen as usual and I entered the elevator but then I saw my neighbour trying to remove his keys from the door and showing me a hand to let me know he wanted to come but me being the petty bitch, closed the elevator innocently by just turning around and pretending I never saw him (I honestly did not see his face). The joy I felt was PURE.

A few weeks passed by and once again I was hungry so I left in my PJs at 2 am to fulfil my stomach's wishes. As I was coming, I saw the lift close yet again but this time I screamed so that the person inside knows someone is coming. I was honestly out of breath so I did not even think about pressing the button to my floor. After regaining my senses I went ahead to thank the person and the view in front of me was enough to make me gasp. There, on the lift with me was, Charles Leclerc in all his glory. I did not want to make it obvious that I was internally screaming so I just looked down and said "Thank you for stopping the elevator, last time this asshole, my apparent neighbour just let the elevator close on my face". Charles looked amused to me but I couldn't figure it out then he said the most bizarre thing. "You won't believe it but my neighbour did the same thing. She just acted as if she didn't see me." All I could do was just nod at him because THE F1 driver was in the lift with me. "Anyways this is me, see you later" and as the doors were about to close I realised he got down on the 26th floor. MY FLOOR. Charles bloody Leclerc was my asshole neighbour!

I had to get down to the upper floor and come down via the stairs. I was shocked but then I thought what if I revealed myself to him. Maybe go ask for coffee. Act as if we did not just bond over each other in the elevator. I was determined to show him who the true asshole was because if they go low, I go lower.

[silvershiningtarot]

✨PAC18+ Channeled Messages From Your FS..... 💘💋💘

🪬Some of you say you wanted channeled Messages from your Future Spouses. But with more detail.💋 Thank You @fae-ngel for the details of the channel's message from y'all future spouses. If some of you guys feel offended about the religion thing don't read this. In the last pile. You can pick more than one pile. Remember this is a general reading.

👋🏽Hey baby, I hope that you are doing okay. I haven't been on my best behavior lately. I wanna tell you something, but I can't. For years I have been lied to. Cheated on and stabbed in the back. Since yesterday I got hurt by a friend. I almost got into a bad fight with one of my friends. I've been out drinking, partying, and smoking. Keeping myself distracted so I won't fucking hurt myself. So I want to cry 😭 so bad. But I can't. I hate that I have to keep a fucking smile on my face. I hate I have to deal with my responsibility without any fucking help. I need help. Not professional. But love help, nurturing help, and support help. I wish someone who is right now out there to help me. But there isn't. I know I can't quit my job. How am I supposed to feed my kids? Feed my family, feed my team. Of course, feed myself. Every time I tried to get a little piece and quiet to myself. Somebody or something always gets in the way. This fucking ex of mine is always on me. Yeah, I know it's my fucking fault. But hell I'm trying. I know I keep getting robbed and played by her. But I won't lie to you. I don't like to be alone. I get scared when I'm alone. I know right, the person who's complaining about wanting to be alone. I don't like to be with my thoughts. It is scary sometimes. You get it right! I've lived in darkness my whole life. Until my kids came along. But still... These thoughts, and memories. It’s scary. That's even half of the shit. I'm telling you about. Anyways, let me tell you something.. I've faced a lot of challenges in my life. Face them!! I did. I dream about you constantly, so my question is this. When are you going to come to me? I've been waiting and waiting for you. I know it sounds impatient. But I am❗. Whatever you go through right now or for a while. Fight that shit. Close your eyes and pretend I'm there fighting with you not against you. Because whenever I close my eyes can see it. You are with me every single time. Fighting my life with me. I know I go thinking that your energy is in my ex. But it isn't but it isn't. Okay, don't be mad at me! I can feel your anger when I said that. Haha 😂. Baby, you should go out and date other people. You shouldn't wait on me. That's kinda fucked up for you to wait on me. While I'm stuck! I should ask myself this! To My future wife! Should I keep you stuck with me? Tuh Hell NOO!! I wouldn't want my daughters to be waiting on some dude they haven't met yet. I haven't met you yet... Ooh, I have a song for us. That's a song I'm dedicating to us. I hope you like it. I just haven't met you yet. Once I do! I'll be screaming 🙀 saying YAY!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You take my breath away every time I see you in my dreams. The sad part is when I wake up early in the rising... That's right I said Rising! I took your word!! Haha 😂 anyway, when I get up I can't remember your face. Do you honestly think about me? Answer these questions for me. I'm serious Comment it down if you have to. How come you don't invite me back into your dream? What's keeping you from me? Did I do something wrong? I hope that didn't. Maybe, you should talk to me in the middle of the night. With your lights off and just call me in. I bet I'll come to you in a heartbeat. I mean Duh, I am your husband. Well not yet! I hope I can be your husband. It would be an honor to be your husband. This life, the next life, in the stars.. Or whatever I hope I come down being your husband or wife forever. I am your partner. You know what so fucking funny! I think you send me a message in my dream. But fucking deadasss!!! For the life of me, I can't remember! Do you get like that? But For the real answer. The funny thing is. I am crazy about you but again I haven't met you yet. I know you probably won't talk to me! But hear me out. Don't be mad. Please, please 🙏🏾 I won't forgive myself if you are mad at me for this. Hold up let me get myself together. Okay, (clear throat) I told my ex about you. I told her I fantasized about you when I'm sleeping with her. When she was kissing me I wiped that shit off fast.

Whenever her back is turned I wiped her lips off of me. These lips 💋 are yours. My body is yours. But again, I am sorry for the wait but I ain't sorry that you got to wait. I know it sounds harsh. Let me tell you why!! Because your mind, body, heart, and soul are mine. That isn't fair to someone else to have to take it from me. I'll hunt them down if anyone touches you. Even from a far distance, I'll still hunt those dudes down if they ever try. So yeah I haven't been on my best behavior. Now you know why. Anyways, I love you darling. Remember that's your name always with me... Darling.

🌟Hello, my cupcake.

How's my cutie doing? I just wanted to tell you thank you. Thank you for still believing in us and our connection. You holding out strong. I've never had anyone who holds out like that. Thank you. I am dating around. Just putting myself out there. My advice to you is don't check up on me. Don't check up on me on social media, videos, or anything. I want you to start dating yourself. I want you to focus on yourself. So we both can become a little closer🙏🏾. It seems that you were afraid of me. I came to you into your dream today. Don't you remember? But you kept swerving around. So I stop following you for a minute. Until you called out my name in my dream. Only you know who this is. Keep it to your chest. The reason why I say date yourself is because I'm scared for you to find someone that's out there for you. You'll forget about me. I know I never experience someone like you and you never experience someone like me. Are you ready to? I feel like I kinda am ready to experience someone like you. I wanna get to know you a little bit more. Your energy and your spirit are here with me. I know it is your spirit next to me. I can feel it next to me. I told you a little bit about my past. I've cried to you. I am so comfortable with you. You know what's so funny... You always lay on me in your dreams. I can tell that you are comfortable with me too. Shush 🤫 that's a good thing. I'm glad you didn't judge me for my past. The mistakes I've made. You let me tear it down. Thank you. Do you know how special you are? I feel that you've been through a lot. Oh, damn! When you laid on me. I didn't just cry because of my past. I've cried to you too. Are you ready to start a new life with me? A new family with me. Our marriage, relationships, and our kids. Are you ready to be my wife/husband? Ask yourself this baby. It is scary once we are in it together. It's going to be hella fucking scary. But one thing I know today is that we will have each other. I haven't met you yet. But one thing is. I wanna dedicated a song to you real quick. Listen to both songs. I'm serious. They are for you, baby. Slowly listen to my words. Let my words from my song speak to you. Just as your present speaks to me. Your spirit talks to me all the time. I talk to myself all the time. I never thought in my life, I felt this way about you. The closer I'm getting towards you. I can feel you getting stronger. I'm not joking about this. I know I may sound 📢 crazy. I'm being honest with you. Anyways, I'm done talking right now. I'm assigning you homework. Those two songs give you! You better tell me what these songs mean to you. I can feel our connection getting stronger and closer. But of course, I keep thinking it was someone else. But it isn't. I know it's you. I just have to convince myself more.

🧑🏾‍❤️‍💋‍🧑🏾oh my sweetheart.

Have you been eating? I can see you putting on weight. I've been watching you left to right. How's your family doing? You told me you've been dealing with a lot of toxicity. So have I. The reason why is that my mother has been lying to me. She kept a lot of secrets from me. That I haven't even known. She told me things I wish no man or any child had to experience that shit. I felt that my mother wasn't sure about having me. I guess I was a third-party child. It was a one-night stand when she had me. But anyway, let's talk about us. I want to say to you that... You are the most important person in my life. I know I’ve kept talking about my mother. But she told me that you're nothing but a fantasy I'll never get to meet you. Never! You hear that bullshit. I tried telling my friends and other people but they laugh at me. I feel completely alone. Can you talk to me? Can I have a moment of your time? Just for a moment. Don't worry I don't live with my mother she lives with me. Even if I did live with my mother. Would you still date me? That's not the point but I'm sorry for feeling all insecure about us. I know I am the one who's holding us back. I've been wishing that you were right here by my side. Can we run away together once we meet? Please. This distance I can't deal with it. Can just two people who are meant to be just be together? That isn't fair, right? Don't you agree with me? Anyways, my shining light 💡. You light up my world when I think about you. When I talk to my boss and friends or even be on dates with different women I've been zoning out from them. Because they are boring as hell. Like ugh, I wanna have a real conversation with you. I wanna talk to you. I feel like the universe is holding us back. I'm about to say fuck it! Say, let's go ahead and find each other. I don’t care if I have to push through people and other forces get to you then I fucking will. I am tired of being patient here. What do you have to do? What do I gotta do? I am sorry for the yelling and the frustration. But I am frustrated. Anyways, this is what I'm going through. Don't worry everything will be perfect once we both lock eyes with each other. Everything is coming together soon.

💘Ahh, are you Cupid? Because baby your arrow shoot my heart 💘. I wanna tell you my name. But I think you know my name already. Think harder and look deeper. I know a lot of women think I'm very handsome and charming and have a lot of women coming after me. Which I do. But guess what though. You swept me off my feet. The only person I wanna chase after is you. I don't know how you do it but you just do. I love how you shot fire with your words. The way you way rap, move your body, and the way you maneuver your words. God! That shit is fucking sexy. I know I should speak the lord's name in vain. However, I ain't burning in hell. Unless you coming with me. Then I'm alright with that. My health has been up and down lately. In and out of the hospital 🚑 left to right. But don't give me your sympathy. I don’t fucking need it. I know It sounds like I don't open up. But I don't. But you!! YOU!! I don't know what kind of spell you put on me. I've tried to run away from you, ignore you, block you out of my head, dreams, and energy 🔋. You are so goddamn strong. Tell me! What makes you so powerful? What do you do? Are you a witch? If you are then cast me a spell right in front of me. I don't believe in magic ✨ but for some damn reason! Boom 💣 here you come. I won't lie to you. I wanna fuck you. You are drop-dead gorgeous. But even from a distance, you torture me. I don't know if it is a good thing. So it's a good thing. No matter how hard I've tried to forget about you, there you are. It's like ugh, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! tell me now! It's such a good feeling. I don't know how to describe this feeling. Maybe it's lust between you and me. Maybe, the truth is. I'm falling for you from a distance. I've fucked so many women just to stop thinking about you. But you won't go away from me. I hope that you know this. Honestly, you did this to me. I hope you are happy. You got me a simp for you. I talk to a psychic just to get you out of my mind, heart, and body. When I lay in bed. I can feel your head and skin on me. Especially, when you are out of the shower 🛁 😂😏😏😏. I'm a horny guy/girl. I'm always horny. But you made me feel like I'm a changed man/woman. I don't even know yet! Whatever you are doing!! Cut it out! Because I will find you❤️ I've got a lot of money 💵 I'll find you I don't know how but I will. The second I rest my head, you come straight into my dreams. You fucking siren! It's your voice and your entire aura pulls into your arms. Nah! I'm a master. Don't tell anyone this keep this between you and me. You make me weak. I can feel my bones 🦴 weak. Ugh, it's sad that you aren't here yet. So whatever you are doing!! I want you to..... Keep doing it. 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦.

[lostfirefly]

What do you do? What do you do in the bath?

I've been incredibly productive this week. I will probably be less active next week, because I need to prepare for the 3D animation course test. English is not my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :)

Masterlist is here

I'm not confident in writing smut. So I apologize in advance.

Decription: Buggy came home from a short tour. He and Catherine are taking a bath. Something gets out of control :)

Warnings: SFW (fun, domestic fluff) turns into NSFW (Cathie-pie seduces her clown), MDNI

Words: 4749

Buggy x OC from my “You’ve Got the Same Dream as Me” series.

Taglist: @gingernut1314, @operationroots, @hey-august

The title is taken from "In the Bath" by Lemon Jelly (don't laugh!).

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Catherine periodically came to the window with a glass of wine. She glanced first at the clock, then out the window. She heard the sound of a car door closing and ran to the window again. 

“Not my little bear…” She sighed, took a bottle of wine and went to the sofa. 

Catherine was lying on the sofa with a book when she heard the sound of keys in the front door and heavy footsteps. 

"Cotton candy, I'm home!" She heard her favorite deep voice from the corridor. 

"Finally!!!" Catherine jumped up from the couch and ran to the front door and saw Buggy leaning with his back against the wall. She clenched her hands into fists and started squealing. 

"My Buggy Bea-a-r!!!!" Catherine jumped on Buggy, hugging him with her arms and legs. "Hi, hi, hi!!" Smack. Smack. Smack.

“First, hi! Second, it's still a disgusting nickname when you are gonna change it? Third, this is for you! I bought it.” He handed her a bouquet of blue carnations.

“Liar!!” Smack. “I’m pretty sure you stole it!” Smack. “Thanks!” Smack. “So beautiful!” Smack. “Your nickname remains!” Smack. “I missed you!” Smack. Smack. Smack. 

“First, why pay for a bouquet when I can easily steal it?” Buggy shrugged, trying to pretend he doesn't like smacks. “Second, I have only been gone for two days and already such a greeting! I like it!!” He carried Catherine into the bedroom. 

“You were gone for two whole days, my red-nose thief!” Smack. Smack. Smack. “How did everything go? Did the fangirls attack you? Found yourself a new girlfriend?” Catherine stroked his head. “I'm sorry I couldn't go with you. Women's things finished me off.” She kissed him on his lips.

“Are you out of your mind? Why do I need some other girl? Everything went fine!” Buggy put Catherine on the bed. “Feeling better already?” He took the bouquet and sent his hand to place it in a vase on the night table. 

“Yes! By the way, what kind of strange thing did you send me? I didn’t get the sense.” Catherine wiped her lips, took out her phone and showed the photo.

“Damn! You have me listed under that fucking nickname here, too.” Buggy placed his hand on her waist, glanced at her, pretending he’s unhappy with the recording. “And this isn't a strange thing. Honey, it’s you.”

"It's a bush, Buggy!” Catherine put her hand on his shoulder. 

“No-o-o, it's you!” He pointed his finger at the photo. 

“In what universe is this me?" 

“It looks like you! See? Here’s the hair, the hands. And if you look closely at these branches, this is your “I hate you” face. I saw it, thought about you, and wanted to show it to you.” 

“I can't believe that the love of my life compared me to a bush.” Catherine kissed Buggy on his head, started jumping on the bed and watched him change into his home clothes. “You sent a message that you'll be home in an hour. And it's already been two. Where have you been, jackass? How's the journey home?”

“Disgusting. I had to put a couple of my freaks in the car, and they kept whining. Sometimes they were hot, sometimes they were cold. And we had to stop periodically.” Buggy looked at her, pulling off his sock. “Why are you laughing, little shit?”

“It’s amazing to listen to one of the most whiny persons in the world complain about what others complain about.” Catherine smiled.

“Go to hell, honestly! I never whine!”

“You're always whining. When we returned from our adventure, you whined that after the celebration we hadn't had sex in three days. Then you whined that I forgot to cut off the crust on the sandwich and thought that I was upset with you. Then you whined when you realized that I wasn’t offended. Two days ago, you were whining that the sheets weren't soft enough.”

“In my defense, three and even two days without sex is a lot, cotton candy. You like tormenting me, right? Fuck, I’m so tired, I'm declaring a day off tomorrow.” He was rummaging through the shelves. “Where are my pants, cotton candy?” 

“Third shelf from the bottom!” She pointed to the closet and continued jumping. “Hah! You can't do anything without me. You can't even find your pants!”

“I can find everything. I lived somehow before you!” He squatted down and looked at the shelf. 

“Come on!” Catherine stopped jumping and crossed her arms. “You probably wore holey socks, walked around in dirty pants and ate something unknown. So since you have a day off tomorrow, maybe we can go for a walk tomorrow? I would hold your hand…” She made waves with her hands.

“I’ll think about it. Shit, I’m hungry!” He pulled on his pajama pants and turned to her. 

Catherine couldn't resist and jumped on him with her legs. "Then take me to the kitchen, my hero!" She ran her fingers over his stubble. “Is it difficult to put on a t-shirt?”

“I thought you missed this view too.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the lips. She hugged him tightly around his neck, kicking her legs happily. 

Buggy carried Catherine into the kitchen, grumbling for her to stop moving her legs and kissing his nose, although he secretly adored these manifestations of her feelings, and her lively personality. She knew that he was just groaning and would never admit that he liked it. 

When they came to the kitchen, Catherine jumped off him and ran to the refrigerator. 

"Sit down and relax, my love! Look what I bought for you!" She took two bottles of beer from the fridge. "Your favorite!" 

"You are my best!" Buggy looked at her over his shoulder. 

Catherine put the bottles on the table for him, kissed him on his cheek and ran to the stove. "And I cooked your favorite mac and cheese!" She took out a plate and began serving him a portion. "I also baked almond cookies. I bet your fangirls don't care about you that much!" She giggled. 

“I don’t have fangirls, stop mocking me!” Buggy took a sip of beer. “I have enough of you pissing me off every time! Oh, by the way, I bought you a gift.” He detached his hand and sent it to the bag. “I couldn't leave you without a gift.” The hand brought a small package and gave it to Catherine's hand.

“I will never stop admiring your chop chop.” She smiled and carefully opened the package. “What's here? Raspberry marshmallows sticks, a bottle of wine. Yummy!! What is this?” She took out a small figurine of a bear sitting under a lilac bush. “Oh, my god! Buggy…”

“You told me how your father gave your mother lilacs. I saw this figurine and thought it would remind you of them. And I bought it. Ok, I stole it. Why are you looking at me like that?” Buggy asked with his mouth full, chewing pasta. 

“You remember the story. This figure is amazing! And also this little bear. It's you and my parents. Can I put this on the shelf in the bedroom?” Catherine looked at him with wet eyes. 

“Put it wherever you want.” 

“I'll put a figurine next to a picture of you and me. Thank you!” Catherine ran up to him, placed the plate on the table and kissed him on the cheek. “I'm glad that you remember my words even when I'm dressed, asshole. Love, love, love you!!” 

Catherine put the figurine on the table, plopped down on a chair next to Buggy, watched him happily wrap pasta on his fork and wash down his food with beer. She stroked his hair. "Tasty?" 

Buggy nodded, narrowed his eyes contentedly, and kissed her on the lips. 

“Don't come at me with your oily lips, clown!” Catherine wiped her mouth with a towel, hugged his arm and laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m so happy you’re finally home.” 

“Cathie-pie, my hand.” Buggy turned his head slightly towards her, looking at her questioningly. “How would I eat if you grabbed my hand?”

“I don't care! Think of something.” 

Buggy shrugged and separated the part of his hand that was holding the beer.

Catherine glanced at him. “Seriously? Instead of hugging me, you’re doing this?!” 

“What? I’m hungry.” Buggy wrapped the pasta around his fork. Slurping, he finished eating, threw his fork on the table and took a sip of beer. "Everything was delicious! Thank you!" Buggy looked at Catherine and put his hand on her shoulder. 

“You’re always welcome. Could you imagine, if you'd left me in the desert, you'd be eating nothing but breadcrumbs with water right now.” She kissed him on the nose. 

“Fuck! I didn't leave you! You will remember this to me for the rest of your life, right?” Buggy stretched. "Fuck, my back. I suggest we move to the couch." He took the beer and extended his hand to her. 

“Go to the living room, I’ll be right back, I’ll just put the plates in the dishwasher.” She gave him another peck on the nose and kicked him out into the living room. 

Catherine poured herself a glass of wine and went to Buggy, “My little bear, I’m coming to you! Let’s spe~..” She entered the living room and saw him lying on the sofa, quietly snoring. Catherine smiled, tiptoed over to the snuffling body, covered Buggy with a blanket and kissed him on the head. “Tired. Okay! I'll go to the bath then.” She whispered to herself. 

Catherine quietly went into the bedroom to get pajama pants and Buggy’s t-shirt, grabbed a glass of wine and went to the bathroom. She lit the candles, poured bath salts and added bubbles. Catherine took off her clothes and lay down in the hot water. She took a sip of the wine and closed her eyes, exhaling several times. She placed her hand on the edge of the bathtub and felt a hand on her arm. 

“Oh, shit!!” Catherine jumped slightly, opened her eyes and saw Buggy sitting next to her and looking at her. “I almost had a heart attack! What are you doing here? You were sleeping on the couch.” 

“You said that you would come to me. I opened my eyes, you weren’t there, and I went looking for you.” He blushed. 

“I knew you missed me!” Catherine narrowed her eyes playfully. 

“Fuck you! Yes, I missed you. Are you going to cut me into pieces for this? You know perfectly that you can slice me, you can dice me, and I~” Buggy let go of her hand. 

“What? No! Don't be offended!” Catherine took his hand and pulled him towards her, kissing him on the lips. Buggy started giggling during the kiss. Catherine pulled her head back. “What's so funny, clown?” 

“You're naked. I can see your breasts!” 

“Oh, God! Are you 10 years old?”

“Hey! I’m over 30! But I’m always happy to see you naked. And here you are lying in the bathtub. All so sexy.” Buggy started giggling again. 

“That’s it! Get out of here!” Catherine started pulling him out of the bathroom.

“But why? Can I sit next to you?” Buggy stared at her with pleading eyes. 

“Go away, fucking clown!” 

He sighed, stood up and walked out the door. 

“Buggy!” Catherine immediately shouted. 

“What?” His head looked into the bathroom. 

“Seriously? I can't believe you just up and left.” Catherine straightened one leg above the water and winked at him. “Would you like to join me?” 

“Two minutes ago you kicked me out, and now you’re calling me to join.” Buggy stood there in bewilderment. 

“Well, if you don’t want to, fine. You could touch my naked body.” She lightly touched him with her foot. 

“Oh, you’re a dirty girl, Catherine Mitchell!” Buggy grinned, closed the door and quickly took off his pants and underwear. 

“Yes, I'm like that sometimes! But I still blame you for spoiling me.” Catherine looked him up and down, blushed, and moved to the other side of the bath. 

“Yeah, yeah, a bad horny clown spoiled a decent little princess.” Buggy sat down in the bath, and she immediately leaned her back against his chest. 

“Ts! I didn't give you permission to talk!” Catherine gently ran her fingertips along his cheek and, feeling that he placed his arms around her waist, put her hands on his arms. “Do you remember the rules that I introduced after last time?” 

“Yes, ma'am.” Buggy buried his face in her hair and sighed. 

“What happened, little bear?” She started stroking his fingers.  

“Nothing. Glad to be home. Glad that someone is waiting for me at home. Glad I'm not alone anymore.” He mumbled into her hair. 

“I’ll always wait f~!” Catherine's eyes widened as she felt one of his hands slowly begin to move down to her thigh. "What are you doing? Take your hand back!" She grabbed his hand and placed it on her waist. “Don't break the rules, Buggy! No chop chop things in this room! Or I’ll leave, and you’ll remain a grown man taking a bubble bath.”

“So unfair!” Buddy said sadly. “You're lying with me completely naked! I see your breasts! Your nip~!” 

Catherine covered his mouth with her hand. “Shush! Stop saying these inappropriate things!” 

Buggy removed her hand from his mouth and watched as she blushed when he started whispering in her ear. Her eyes widened. 

“No! We won’t do anything! We’re taking a bath. Rules, Buggy!” There was already less confidence in Catherine's voice. “And keep your.. your.. you know.. little Buggy with you.” She closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder. 

“You've never complained about him before! And he’s not little!” There was indignation in his voice. 

“Oh, I knew you'd pick up on that, pervert!” 

“I'm offended to the core, cotton candy. Well, tell me, what did you do without me?” Buggy asked quietly. 

“Hm.. I went to the cinema, walked, sat in a cafe with a book and lay on the couch. And what did you do?” Catherine asked softly. She liked listening to his stories about everything and nothing, listening to how his days were spent. 

“Well, we rehearsed a lot. I played cards with Cabaji. Won a bottle of beer. He often asks about you. I do not like it.” Buggy pouted.

“Someone is jealous!!” Catherine pressed her back closer. 

“I’m not!” 

“You're so jealous that you will turn even more gray with anger. He's just happy for you. That's all.” Catherine straightened her leg slightly. "Great, huh?" 

Buggy tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “What exactly? Your beautiful legs or your naked body?” 

“No, asshole. Just lie there together.” 

“Not so bad.” Buggy took her hand and kissed it. “I love you, my Cathie-pie.” 

Catherine turned around and looked at him with round eyes. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He kissed her hand again.

“You… You just said 'I love you' ahead of me for the first time.” Catherine ran her finger along his arm. 

“Hey, I always tell you this!”

“You tell me this when we are... Well, you know. In bed. When you are... Well, you know. But at these moments you are a little crazy.” She stroked his cheek. “Love you too. And I’m so happy I met you.” 

“Well, I'll thank myself for that. I'll thank myself for finding you.” Buggy said it with a proud grin and kissed her temple. 

“You didn't find me. I was brought to you.” She squeezed his hand.

“It still counts, cotton candy. You've succumbed to my charm.” 

Catherine rolled her eye. “Oh, for God's sake, there was no charm! You pissed me off!”

“I beg to differ, you're the one who stayed with me, and now you're lying naked with me in the bathtub.” Buggy kissed her temple again.

“Oh, fuck you, clown! Well, tell me who else you took a bath with. There were probably a lot of girls here. But do you remember? If you don't want to, don't tell me.” Catherine twirled a strand of his hair around her finger.

“There was no one here. Who will take a bath with me? The tub stood almost idle until someone pretty and cheerful occupied it. And I didn’t wash very often.” Buggy shrugged. 

“Yes, I noticed. You rarely do this even now, sometimes I have to remind you to wash yourself.”

“I'm surprised that you willingly lie here with me. Do you remember when I brought you from the airport?” Buggy reddened. 

“And you immediately dragged me into the bedroom, I remember.”

“Hey, you didn't mind. Our first time was good then, right?” He sighed happily. “I will probably remember this day even on my deathbed.” 

Catherine glanced at Buggy and took another strand of his hair. “Do you even remember anything besides sex? Don't know. Our walks in the evenings, how you constantly steal the flowers for me.”

“Sorry, your naked body and moans knock the rest of the moments out of my memory.” He giggled. 

“Idiot and liar. So... You wanted to say something.” Catherine felt how his hands started trembling a little. 

“Well, in the morning I woke up, and to be honest, I thought that you had already packed your things and ran to the airport. Don't know. Realizing that that was your big mistake. But I saw you sleeping next to me, holding my hand. It was so strange. And it's still strange.” Buggy felt he became nervous and felt how Catherine started stroking his palm. 

“First of all, clown, I wouldn't go anywhere. I'm sorry, but you did such a thing to me that it was hard to walk. Secondly, I love you. Third, thank you for telling me this. I’m so proud of you.” She ran her fingertips along his stubble. “You are so prickly. I like it.”

Catherine stretched out her leg and tried to grab the washcloth with her fingers, but went under the water. She quickly surfaced and laughed loudly. “Damn! I thought it would be sexy, but I’m like a manatee on ice.” 

“You okay?” Buggy pulled her closer.

“Totally.” Catherine took a lock of his hair. "So long and beautiful. Oh, I want to wash your hair!"

Buggy looked at her questioningly. “No! I can wash my hair myself.”

“Ple-e-ease! You're tired from the road! You never let me do this!” Catherine looked at him with pleading eyes. 

“I said no!” 

“And I said yes!” She reached for the shampoo, stood up and heard him chuckle. “What amused you again?” 

“You're all naked.” Buggy scratched his nose. “Your body. So much better than I even remembered.” 

“Oh m~. Stop grabbing my ass!” She slapped his hands, sat behind him and wet his hair. “Shit! I can swim in your bathtub like a whale. See?” Catherine lay down in the water, spun around twice and laughed loudly. “Why do you need such a huge one?” 

Buggy laughed as he watched her splash her hands in the water. “Well, I was hoping that one day I would end up here with a very beautiful red-haired whale who would fill all surfaces with fucking scented candles and oils, and would torture me in every possible way.”

“It's not torment, clown. It's called caring. I like taking care of you. And I saw you smelling my candles.” Catherine settled behind him and let his hair down.

Buggy exhaled heavily. 

“What happened, little bear?” 

“Nothing. I'm still surprised that someone doesn't run away from me early in the morning. That I see someone in the morning dishevelled and wearing stupid pants with animals on them.” He closed his eyes. 

“This someone in pants is also very happy to see you nearby.” Catherine wet his hair, poured some shampoo into her hand, and gently ran it through Buggy’s hair. "If it's unpleasant, tell me." She washed each strand carefully, and humming softly, she noticed a slight smile on his face. She gently massaged his head and then ran her hands through the strands. Every time Catherine wet his hair, it changed to a more emerald shade. She couldn't contain her delight and kept saying “wow”. She gently ran her hands through his hair, untangling small tangles with her fingers and rinsed them again.

“It was worth going away for a couple of days for that.” Buggy chuckled. He sat with his eyes closed and a slight grin on his face.

“I'm done with your hair, my love. Now let's wash your face. Can I?” She watched him make a face, but nodded. She took some lotions from the shelf and sat on his lap. Buggy chuckled as she began to gently rub the moistened pad over her face. 

“What's so funny?” 

“You're sitting on me naked.” Buggy wrapped his arms around her waist. 

“You’re disgusting!” Catherine immediately began wiping his lips. “That's it! Shut your dirty mouth!” She gently moved the discs over his face, removing layer by layer of all his makeup. “Here you are! Hi!” 

“Hi.”

Catherine couldn't resist and kissed him on the lips. He immediately pulled her closer. 

“I missed you.” She kissed his forehead and wrinkled her nose slightly.

“Same thing.” Buggy answered in a whisper. 

“Okay, it’s time to get out of the bath. Let's lie on the couch, drink alcohol, eat chips, and watch stupid shows. Good, huh? I’ll just rinse off in the shower.” Catherine kissed him on his cheek. 

“And what about me?” Buggy looked at her questionably.

“And you go to the shower stall, clown. Otherwise, our joint bath will end badly.” Catherine blushed.

“You understand that this day will end like this anyway?” He winked at her. 

“Get out!” She gently pushed him out of the bath. 

Buggy took a brief shower to ensure he did not miss anything and sat next to the tub, keeping his gaze on Catherine.

She took out a washcloth and shower gel and, stretching her leg again, began to slowly move the washcloth along her leg. 

“God, this is such a turn on!” He said quietly.

Catherine noticed how he began to fidget. “Like it?” She winked. 

“You're playing a dangerous game, Catherine Mitchell!” Buggy tried to hold on by crossing one leg over the other leg. “Please, can I join?”

“Na-ah! Just watch, don't touch!” She bit her lower lip, narrowed her eyes playfully, and continued moving the washcloth.

“It's unfair! Do you even understand what you're doing, woman?” He swallowed. “Please! I wanna join and help you!” 

“Someone is going to die.” Catherine slowly moved the washcloth along her other leg. “Patience, my silly clown!” She ran the washcloth over her arms and back, periodically glancing at how Buggy became redder and tried his best to hide his quickening breathing.

Catherine quickly rinsed off and was about to grab a towel when she felt Buggy’s hand on her wrist. "Hey! What the hell is this?" 

Catherine slowly turned around and saw Buggy climbing into her bathtub. “You've already taken off your panties, you scoundrel. What about rules?”

“I don't use chop chop, see?” He showed her his hands, pressing his entire naked body lightly against hers. “Technically, I'm not breaking anything.”

Catherine placed one foot on the edge of the tub and ran her fingertips through the hair on his chest. “Did someone lose their temper, huh?” 

“Because one little shit is behaving badly.” Buggy kissed her on the lips and felt her hand run down his stomach. “Very, very badly.”

“Stop talking, fucking clown. I'm standing here nak~.” She didn’t have time to finish the sentence.

Catherine swifty wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her into a searing, biting kiss. The growl in his throat grew louder with each passing second. 

“Oh, fuck! I missed you!” Buggy said in a low, husky voice. His hands gripped her hips and shifted her up. Catherine gasped into his kiss, which shifted from soft and tender to passionate very quickly.

“I knew that, a little creep!” She leaned forward, gripped his bottom lip between her teeth, and gave him a rough, biting kiss. Catherine felt it. Felt that she wanted to lose control in the tension of his arms as he held her. 

She moaned through the kiss when Buggy thrust up into her. One long, fast stroke that made her feel like she was breaking into little pieces. His hands gripped her at the hips tighter and moved her up and down. With every stroke of him, they were getting closer to the pleasure they both desired. Every movement made her arch and moan like a cat. Catherine found herself kissing and biting at every single inch of his skin. Buggy’s lips nibbled at every part of her body that he could reach, causing tiny bruises on her skin as their breathing and movements got increasingly chaotic with each upward stroke. Buggy arched up into her, unable to stop himself. His fingers pressed into the skin of her hips, an animalistic sound pouring forth from him, as she pressed further down. His name was the only word on her lips. 

“Say it. Say you’re mine,” Buggy thrust deeper, and she whined at the feeling of him inside her. She’d known he belonged there from the first time she’d taken him in herself. “Tell me I’m not gonna lose you.” 

Catherine breathed and kissed him. “I promise, you can’t lose me. I’m yours.” 

“Tell me,” with his every word, his every move became more aggressive. “Tell me only I can protect you, that only I can take care of you. Say it.” 

“You can protect me,” Catherine looked into his eyes, placing her hands on the back of his head. “Only you can take care of me, I promise.” She kissed him. 

“Let me love you,” Buggy fucked her deep, hard, greedy. “Say it. Tell me that only I can love you, that it’s safe to love you.” 

“You can love me. It's safe. I never hurt you. I promise.” She could barely say anything, pulling him closer. 

Buggy moaned against her lips and fucked her, never slowing down, making her orgasm never really go away. He kissed her, pressed down deeply inside her then, causing her back to arch and her legs to tighten around his hips. 

She moaned near his lips. “I need to feel you, please, please..” 

“You’re mine, Cathie-pie.” He kissed her again, started fucking her a little harder and faster, driving the pleasure closer.

“I’m so close, don't stop.” Catherine felt him press deeply and pulse inside her, stimulating her orgasm. “Just a little mo~. A lit~. Fuck…” 

Buggy let out one deep groan, feeling they came together, his body went slack for a moment before, and he buried his face in the crock of her neck. He was silent for a while.

“You okay?” Catherine asked, stroking his head. She felt every beat of his heart. 

“Yeah. Fuck, it was great, right?” He kissed her forehead. 

“Are you asking for a compliment, a little brat?” Catherine said mockingly and pecked him on his lips. 

“Are you sure you're okay? Didn't I hurt you?” Buggy examined her body carefully.

“Why are you asking? What happened?” Catherine stroked his shoulder.

“I don't know. I feel like I overdid a little.”

“Well, you were extremely talkative today. But everything was amazing.” She noticed his worried eyes. “What's wrong, Buggy? Are you worried about something?” 

“No! I mean yes. Tell me you meant all that.” He said quietly and looked into her eyes.

“What? Are you still afraid of s~.”

“Cathie-pie, please.” 

“Of course, my blue-haired love.” Catherine gently kissed him on his lips. “I meant every word. I promise. You can protect me. I know you will protect me. Come on, you saved me from the cage! And I won't hurt you. And I won't leave you. And you're safe with me. And you know why?” She stroked his hair. “Because I love you so, so much, my Buggy Bear.”

“Love you too, my cotton candy. Hey, listen... Can I ask a question?” 

“I guess the fact that you're still inside me doesn't give me the right to refuse?” She chuckled. “Ask me anything you want.” She ran her fingers over his stubble. 

“I’m hungry again, and I missed your pancakes. Will you make me some?”

[smalltestaccount]

okay i think ive come to the conclusion that i dont really fit in with most other trans women, like personality wise, and thats okay. Like i think recently a lot of trans women, not just on tumblr, have been making me think i have to be kinky and bizarre or something, be blasé about transitioning or gender roles, or even just like be okay with some borderline harassing behavior. Its okay if that is you (except the harassing behavior some of yall need to work on that), but like thats not really me. Acting this way just makes me feel bad. Just ignoring that Im a total straightedge, that im like a 1 on the Kinsey scale now. Ever since i was like 11 my biggest desire is just like being a normal cis girl. I always am happiest embracing basic American femininity, and i only just re-realized this after after it helped me get out of a depressive episode (along with antidepressants and an increased estrogen dose). I don't care if im "enforcing gender roles", because i fucking love female gender roles (in modern American culture) cause they make me feel like not-a-piece-of-shit. Also i don't strictly adhere to many anyways. And i just don't think terfs would have any issues with cis girls who love the color pink, flowers, being boy crazy, and dreaming about being a mother. So like why should I feel like its wrong to like that stuff? I don't think there is anything wrong with it. And you know if you don't have that relationship with gender that is fine, you need to do what makes you happy, that's why feminism exists. I'm just saying I don't want to pretend like my personality is something that really just makes me uncomfortable.

I dont like when people here imply being a trans woman entails being sexual cause like i just want to be normal and that stereotype is harmful, especially to transgender children who are really likley to be targeted for some kind of sexual abuse because theyre trans and being trans is already sexualized more than it needs to be. Adults can navigate that to some extent, but not kids; I couldnt really navigate that when i started transitioning in middle school and im lucky it only stayed online. Trying to even somewhat fit in with tumblrs idea of trans women has made me encounter tranny porn on my dash and whenever i post images of myself I'm followed by gross accounts that just reblog that stuff . A lot of trans women don't hate it, because sex work is very much as part of the trans community. But honestly, seeing trans women be treated in those ways just makes me feel bad for the actresses and sick about myself and very dysphoric.

Im not saying that you cant express kinkiness and hyper-sexuality, because I dont want to dictate how you act any more than i want you to be dictated on how I act. But I also want to encourage thoughfulness in what you say. Saying you, yourself, is kinky and weird, is not that same as saying trans *girls* are kinky and weird. In the same way I'm not going to reblog tradwife content, I don't think its productive to make an "all tgirls be kinky" post. You shouldn't try to paint that image of other trans women.

As its the first day of june I'll just tie it up by saying that not all trans people fit into one personality and if you want to show support its best not to suggest trans women all act a certain way, and please don't think talking about "gock" is a good way to show support. This isn't a "kink at pride" discourse post in the very slightest cause I don't, and never have, given any shits about that, cause I've never been to pride. This is just me talking about how I fit into the trans community.

Im Alexa and I'm going to reblog and post shit i like, not what other people like or expect. That Includes not doing tummy tuesday cause i really only briefly did it out of fomo and peer pressure. And please don't say things about me that you wouldnt say about other women

[inchidentally]

I dreamed that there was a misunderstanding between Lando and Oscar, which turned into rough sex and then an apology. I don't know if anyone would want to write fan fiction based on it.

anon I've been mulling this over and going through multiple scenarios! but I find it impossible to go the full rough sex over a misunderstanding w those two bc my hc Lando doesn't give even a whiff of aggression during sex and Oscar would never be the type to let his aggression slip out uncontrolled - I can only imagine it like in fics where it's established relationship and negotiated kinks etc.

absolutely if someone else sees this idea and feels inspired then lmk!

BUT ! I did write something in my shitty sort of a fic sort of just an expanded idea style - idk if it will suffice?

I thought of like media duties at the start of a race weekend in Vegas 2024 and they have a group of drivers at a bar for a Q&A - crucially it must include Daniel, Carlos and ofc Lando and Oscar.

to kick things off, the Sky team have a makeshift bar set up on the small stage and have the drivers taking shots and having the other drivers try to guess what they're drinking (water, vodka, tequila) they've made sure to include far more shots of water bc they're not wanting the drivers so loose that things get out of hand around fans with their phones up.

except Lando hates the taste of tequila or vodka so he makes a face and pushes his shots over to Oscar begging him to down them instead, which of course Oscar gamely does. it's too late when he hears the tougher guys sputtering bc damn, whatever that tequila was it was definitely too strong. Will Buxton is hahaha good jokes but very awkwardly bc genuinely some of the guys are struggling. Oscar is red in the face and coughing and Lando is laughing but kinda feels bad. they decide to move on from the shots challenge before anyone's gone multiple rounds bc dinner was only an hour before and group vomiting isn't what the fans stumped up several hundred each for.

ironically it ends up that the rest of the guys can swagger through the tipsiness but Oscar's famed self-control decides to drop just one barrier. and it's with his hands concerning Lando. the drivers are now doing stupid challenges with decks of cards and magic tricks and shit and ofc Lando is the favorite person for them all to get paired with and Oscar starts to get weirdly… rowdy about it?? Daniel and Carlos are as usual shoving Lando around and using their hands on him a lot and Oscar is sort of half-joking half-aggressively heckling them to fahck off. Lando starts sputtering and his eyes are bugging out bc Oscar never swears where there's fans and since when is he this loud ?? fortunately everyone finds it hysterical when Oscar finally barges in when Daniel gets too touchy-feely and Oscar bodily wrenches Lando away and back to the barstools set up on the far side of the stage. he sits down and tugs Lando back against him, between his legs. hahaha so funny! nobody knows Oscar's at half mast against Lando's lower back so everyone else can just laugh!

at first, Carlos and Daniel are doubled over cackling and the whole thing seems like a hilarious teammate jealousy bit. Oscar is nowhere near drunk but apparently any level of tipsy has him absently pushing a hand up the hem of Lando's shirt and mumbling nonsense into the hair at Lando's temple. it's infuriatingly hot and Lando has to fight every cell in his body to keep pretending to laugh and not just melt into Oscar finally doing what Lando's been silently begging for for what, a year and a half?? except it's in front of fans and their friends and god knows how many cameras and Lando can only keep the smile hitched on his face and keep tugging Oscar's hands away from his nipples and the hem of his boxers. Daniel is doing his best work selling it as a gag but Carlos keeps catching Lando's eyes and seeing the little twist of the knife each time Oscar's mouth smiles hot and pleased against Lando's head.

Lando can't decide if he's relieved or in agony when it's time for them to move to the autograph tables. it means Oscar will be able to drink water and sober up, but it also means breaking the daydream he'd drifted into of Oscar's hands being at home on Lando's body. of Oscar holding him just like that all the time, and not just because he happens to be a handsy drunk. he can blame his usual shyness around crowds for staying fairly mum as he scribbles his name over and over, safely positioned between Daniel and Liam who are loud enough for anything. Carlos seems to have corralled Oscar into the purgatory of being dead last at the table where fans hover awkwardly on one side, and Carlos himself on the other. Lando doesn't see - 'on purpose' - that Carlos is able to steer Oscar by the elbow ahead of the rest of the group when they're finished, so that he can corner him alone in the desert cold outside. give him the whip crack of his dark eyes and a tanned, hairy finger jabbing at Oscar's chest and "if you don't fix this now I will be hearing about it all weekend long from him." all Lando sees is the tail end of the exchange when Oscar's face is dutifully humbled and he looks sheepishly small, even though by now he stands at least three inches taller than Carlos.

by the time they're dropped back off at the hotel, Lando's lovesickness has turned into righteous fury. Daniel had given up trying to include him in filming a reel of the inside of the other guys all singing off-key in the Escalade. he shoots Oscar a sympathetic glance as Lando storms off ahead and gives Oscar's sleeve an angry tug to follow him.

the degree, if not the specifics, of how badly Oscar's fucked up starts to sink in during the long, silent elevator ride. all he can think is 'dead man walking' as he follows Lando to his room.

the door has barely snicked shut behind him before the dam bursts.

"you know we don't touch like that. you know that. you're Mr. No PDA with anyone! and I've just about managed to get used to it. you weren't even like that with Lily most of the time so it was, y'know, fine. and then you down one shot of tequila--"

"--and a shot of vodka…" Lando's face makes Oscar instantly regret interjecting. "Sorry."

"and suddenly you're all over me as if there wasn't an entire audience? as if we aren't going to have to turn this into some hilarious joke tomorrow so people don't get all… frickin' stupid! and I'm gonna have to see all these stupid fancams and…." Lando makes a hysterical noise of frustration here that one normally hears from children under the age of five. the way he hurls his own body onto the sofa adds to the image.

the silence is suddenly so loud that Oscar can hear his own fingernails against his jeans as he struggles with what do with his body. Lando has his head thrown back and is staring a hole into the ceiling. he no longer looks furious, just rumpled and… small.

Oscar gets a horrible feeling of tunnel vision, like the always-distant idea of Lando as something more than his casual friend and teammate is suddenly pulling away from him at an alarming rate. it makes his throat inconveniently close up.

"I'm sorry," feels like the correct start, even if it's choked out. no, he doesn't want it to sound like he's barely choking it out.

some instinct makes him move forward and drop down to one knee in front of Lando, who lifts his head inquisitively. already a big improvement.

"seriously, Lando. I'm s- so sorry for putting you through that. it was fucked up and probably borderline harassment and jesus." the enormity of it all starts crowding in and he has to press a hand over his eyes before he can bear to meet Lando's eyes again. "god, I know it's not like a 'compliment' but there's a reason why I don't go out and get drunk around you. fuck, I've been such a dog. I'm so sorry, Lando. believe me, I feel like absolute shit. as I should."

a curiously rapid change has been taking place over Lando's shape on the sofa - starting first with the clench of his jaw softening to a curious little 'o' between his lips and spreading out until his posture eases completely under the bulk of his hoodie and baggy jeans.

now he sits upright and leaning slightly forward, hands fidgeting in his lap.

"I mean. you don't have to be like that about it. Daniel's done more than that to me on camera. not like he ever asked for 'consent'. it's not a big deal."

"yeah, but he didn't actually mean it."

Oscar bravely holds his gaze steady, is almost blinded by the the daybreak of hope that crosses Lando's face. Oscar can see him debate back and forth three times before he finally speaks, mouse-like.

"you meant it?"

Oscar thinks he could give up food and drink to live entirely on the way Lando looks when he's this open and trusting, body in perpetual small motions like a creature let out of a cage and looking up at the big human hand hovering over it and hoping for a caress instead of a blow.

he rests his hand on Lando's knee, rubbing little circles with his thumb and offers a slow blink and a gentle smile.

"you know I do."

for a split second he worries when Lando's face crumples that he's going to burst into tears. instead, Lando slips off the sofa and bundles himself urgently into the circle of Oscar's arms. relief rolls like a tide over the panic he hadn't fully realized had hold of him and Oscar really lets himself put his hands on Lando: clutches him close around the shoulders, the back of his head, pressing grateful kisses into the curls and pulling the scent of Lando's hairline into his memory.

Lando sniffs and possibly wipes his runny nose against Oscar's shirt. he raises his face to be kissed properly, eyes closing when Oscar can't just kiss his lips and has to bless the tender, dusky skin of Lando's eyelids and the smooth warmth of his cheeks.

when he finally pulls away, Lando looks almost too beautiful to bear. his fists have wriggled between their bodies where Oscar's arms hold him close. he's compressed himself impossibly small in that way he can and smiles kittenish and sunny-eyed.

"do your knees hurt yet?"

and then Oscar bursts into high pitched giggles and Lando joins him and they roll in a ball of idiot boys on the floor and kiss. because there will be big decisions and awkward conversations with members of McLaren staff happening tomorrow and probably for days after. but right then it's all still their little secret world and all their only decision is between making out all night or trying to sleep.

[palmviolet]

how to cope with moving to another town for the first time?

im gonna be getting my master's but for that i need to move and it feels scary as hell

i am so late to answering this, so if you've already moved, then congrats, and i hope it went well! if not, right this way...

i've been in my new place about a month now and it's honestly been amazing. but i can say that because it now feels amazing in sort of hindsight? in that i had my ups and downs the first few days, stressed about my decision-making, missed the countryside etc. it happens. now it feels amazing. trust that you'll get to that point. and the things to keep telling yourself when these feelings creep in:

just sit with this feeling. it's okay to feel bad things. (something i'm working on lol i'm very much a 'everything is fine' person. sometimes it's not fine. and that's fine.)

life's about experiences. some of those experiences are stressful and bad. now you've moved you probably have a lot more shit to think about and a lot of shit to do literally all the time. maybe you'll be on tumblr less and going outside more — which is a dreadful prospect when you're thinking about it, but when you're doing it, you'll probably be doing it because you want to. which is one of the hardest things to accept about growing as a person, that our wants and fears will change. unfortunately, moving does change you. so–

main character syndrome it. make four moving playlists and a moodboard for your new room, sit there with your decorations and candles and the music blasting and pretend it's the opening scene to a movie. romanticise the hell out of it because you're growing into a new phase of life, you're going to meet new people, you're going to try new things — it's exciting. maybe tomorrow you'll try the food that will be your favourite for the next ten years. maybe you'll discover a new song to soundtrack your year. maybe you'll fall in love. world is your oyster etc etc

time might run linearly, but life sure as hell does not. you can always say fuck it and try something different. this is another thing that's comforting — that you're an adult, and you can genuinely do what you want. you hate your masters, hate your new town, hate the move? (circumstances permitting) move back! and if you can't move back, look at your life and see what you can change. maybe you can't quit your job but you can start saving to move away from your shitty roommate. you can delete instagram because watching 57 reels every morning makes you depressed and you can find a new place to study that isn't your own kitchen table, like that historic library around the corner you didn't even know was there. you can go to that social event alone and make a new best friend, or just a familiar face to smile at on the street. you can live.

the world is full of choices and that's terrifying but also so very very liberating. social pressure loves to convince us there's a linear narrative our lives should follow — a highly normative, conservative vision of nuclear success, watered-down but still very much present in liberal ideology — and it's simply not fucking true. go wild and follow your dreams and remember that nothing is permanent, very little is irreversible, and you can do what you want. so do what you want.

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Hello To All!

Hope you all are enjoying your weekend! I read on my phone and I’m not able to find stories. If there’s a way, please tell me how.

Please suggest adult stories for me with a great/happy ending. I prefer chapter stories of adult Klaine. Any suggestions are welcome. Need something to read tonight. Thank you for all you do!

Hello, when I search from my phone, I go onto our libary blog and into the "magnifying glass/search" at the top. I type in a particular word like "adult" or "enemies to lovers" and then a whole lot of previously recommended fics appear. Alternatively download A03 app, and you can search and filter on it.

Also on AO3 check out our 2023 Klainebingo which has 191 tagged stories written 2016-23 that fandom have recommended - not all adult klaine, but definitely worth looking at.

What I've done is made a list of recommendations here of some of Klaine fics I've enjoyed, where they are adults, or mostly post college age. Some newer, some older. ~ Jen

Seven by @scatterthestars

How far would you go for someone you love? For Kurt, that means doing the unimaginable. But if it means saving his dad, he's willing to take that risk. A risk that has him leaving his home to go states away to spend a week with the last person he ever expected to meet. Over the course of the next seven days, things don't go as planned, or thought.

Can seven days change everything?

~~~~~

Feel my heart's intention by @kurtsascot

Blaine started to hate Kurt on his first day. And it was a shame, really, because they could have been cute together. 

~~~~~

Falling for You By @caramelcoffeeaddict Coffeeaddict80

A fic written based off a mash-up of these two prompts from the @gleepotluckbigbang prompt page -- Prompt1: During rehearsal I tripped and fell into the orchestra pit and landed on you Prompt2: I have to share a dressing room with the most obnoxious, self-centered jerk; and when you sent flowers to our dressing room, they took them assuming they were for them but they were really for me Featuring: Broadway!Kurt, PianoPlayer!Blaine, Obnoxious!Broadway!Sebastian

~~~~~

Rock, paper, scissors by @gleefulpoppet

Kurt and his seven-year-old daughter are moving from the hustle and bustle of New York to the Rocky Mountains for a fresh start. On a connecting flight from Atlanta, they meet a warmhearted man who captures their attention with his enthusiasm. Will they ever see him again? And even if they do, how will he fit into their new life?

~~~~~

Nashville! by @hkvoyage

Kurt lands the lead role in a new musical, but it flops during the previews. However, his performance captivates Nashville’s newest country music sensation. They share an instant connection and it grows deeper as they get to know each other. Will Kurt be able to save the musical and keep the man of his dreams? An AU meeting featuring country singer!Blaine and Broadway!Kurt.

~~~~~

Made to keep your body warm by @quizasvivamos

Blaine is a meteorologist who works as a weatherman for a local New York news station where he's especially well-known for predicting storms. But, when a huge nor'easter blows in and the news crew is trapped at the station for three days by snow, can he predict what happens when he meets a young new intern?

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If music be by @blurglesmurfklaine

Kurt’s just trying to survive his last semester of college, which means making it through student teaching in one piece.

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In my place by @heartsmadeofbooks

Blaine has always been shy and introverted, so after his father dies, he looks for comfort into his childhood dream - owning a bookstore. But then Kurt Hummel walks into his life, turning his dream into a complicated affair.

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These inconvenient fireworks by @redheadgleek

After an unexpected Tony award, Kurt Hummel is Broadway's hottest up and coming star, which comes with expectations and some admirers that won't take a hint. When his best friend Elliott Gilbert suggests that they pretend to date to get the leeches to back off, Kurt takes him up on the idea. It's all working out great - until Kurt starts to fall hard for the dark-haired music director of his latest musical.

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Scenes from December by @spaceorphan18

An exploration of Kurt's life throughout various Decembers. The story of family and how the definition of family changes over time.

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Home away from home by @lilyvandersteen

Cooper buys a hotel sight unseen and asks Blaine to run it for him over the summer. Only, the hotel is a health and safety hazard and Inspectors Hummel and Abrams are hell-bent on closing it down. Can Blaine spruce the hotel up in time and save Cooper's investment?

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Living Haphazard by anna_timberlake @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion

Have you ever thought of getting cheated by a house broker and getting to know that you had to stay with another stranger who was also cheated? What if you are getting stuck up with the stranger in the apartment due to unavoidable circumstances? What if you hate him as well as have a crush on him? What if you had to fight your inner self and the stranger? What if he agreed on helping you which can only happen in dreams? This is a real living haphazard, isn't it?

~~~~ Someone like you by @iconicklaine

Kurt and Blaine keep up their very own version of "When Harry Met Sally" for years, a friendship fraught with sexual tension and longing, until the agendas of Adele (yes, THE Adele), a bored NY socialite and a super-sweet hetero couple bring our boys together. The only problem is... they're both in committed relationships.

Note: This story is AU after "Sexy" and assumes Kurt and Blaine graduate from Dalton in the same year. In this future fic, set in 2025, Blaine is based off of Season 2 Blaine. Originally posted on LJ and S&C.

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The Journeying By @flowerfan2

Freshly graduated from music school, Blaine is thrilled when he is chosen to stay in the cast when the production of Into the Woods he was lucky enough to be part of in Boston moves to Broadway. He knows it’s going to be hard returning to New York City – the scene of his epic breakup with his fiancé and the emotional meltdown which cost him his place at NYADA. But he’s determined that this time, everything will be different. Little does Blaine know that out of thousands of potential castmates, his director has chosen none other than Kurt Hummel to play the part of Jack. Blaine has worked hard to recover from their breakup three years ago, and struggles to find a new way to relate to Kurt and simultaneously protect himself, especially when tragedy strikes.

This story looks at what would have happened if Kurt and Blaine had reacted differently to the break up in 6x01 than they did in canon; if events hadn’t brought them back together as soon, and if forgiveness hadn’t come so easily.