#I have a couple more drawings planned for book 3 and then I'm trying to figure out how to give the series a proper send-off

[strawberryghostlight]

More tgwcf art!! This time I used @whatsitzface‘s designs for the main cast (except Piper because she’s not trapped with the others in book three, but @whatsitzface‘s design for her is super cute!!)

[ID: A digital drawing of a scene from The Girl Who Fell Out Of The Sky. Ten children of various ages each sit in their own nook carved out of a stone wall. Their expressions range from fear to boredom to irritation. Vines crawl up the walls, threatening to ensnare anyone who tried to escape. / End ID]

[i-cant-sing]

TIME TRAVELER AU PT 2

Original post/idea here. Part 1 is here. Part 3 is here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

I fucked up.

You thought as you sat on the bed, holding your head in your hands.

I fucked up so baaaaaad.

Not only have you healed Baldwin of his leprosy, forever changing history of the LEPER KING, but also managed to somehow be his bride. To make matters EVEN worse, you cant just up and leave right now because you dont know the disastrous effects it'll have on the future now that Baldwin wont die of leprosy, which means that the kingdom of Jerusalem wont fall to Salauddin and his muslim army and after that its just a domino effect.

You tried to view your options here.

I stay here, marry Baldwin and fuck up the fabric of time and space because how can someone from the future marry someone from the past? Wouldnt I cease to exist?

I leave, return to my time where authorities arrest me for fucking around with time- that is, if I even exist in the future now that I've altered history. Who knows if my ancestors survived/were born after this?

No. Neither option is good. I need to stay here and fix this. But in a way that i dont draw too much attention to myself so that im so insignificant that nobody remembers, let alone writes about me in the history books.

You were drawn out of your thoughts with someone knocking on your door. "Come in." You said, straightening yourself.

A couple of servants walked in, all women. "Princess Y/n." They all courtesied. "We've been sent here by his majesty to prepare you for dinner with him."

Princess? Ah yes. Only a couple of hours ago, Baldwin had proposed to you, I guess the concept of asking wasnt a thing here as he just slipped on the big beautiful ring on your finger.

You narrowed your eyes at them. "First of all, Im not a princess. You will address me as Y/n only. And secondly, Im not going to join him for dinner, so there's no need to prepare me" The maids all shared a look of confusion before the head servant spoke.

"But we cant address you as anything else until you wed the king, after which you will be our queen, princess."

"Didnt I just tell you not to call me princess? Just call me Y/n!" The head maid shook her head. "Princess, we can not do that. If we do, then we would be punished. And we must prepare you for dinner with his majesty!" The maids moved ahead to start helping you but you raised a hand, halting them.

"I said, no." You said sternly.

"What... what will we tell the king, princess? He's expecting you-"

"Tell him i cant come because Im sic- no, Im not feeling well and Id like to be alone." You cant say "sick" in this era, because that means "death sentence" here and you dont want to be fretted over and bring attention to yourself as "the king's fiancee got SICK!". Besides, you do need to be away from Baldwin as much as possible and have some time to plot your moves.

-

You had pulled out your notebook and began writing out dates and historic events of this era to plan your escape. You're trying to find some sort of shortcut where Baldwin gets sick again and dies, leaving his kingdom in the hands of his sister and brother in law, who will bring its downfall-

Someone knocked on your door gently. "Princess?" You quickly hid your notebook. "Come in."

Baldwin walked inside and towards you, eyes worried as they scanned you up and down.

"I heard you're not feeling well?" He asked and before you had a chance to back away, he had cupped your cheeks in his hands tenderly. "What's wrong? Shall I fetch the royal physician?"

"No." You replied with your face smushed in his hands. "I'm fine." You pulled your face away his large hands.

Confusion spread through his blue orbs. "Then why did you not join me for dinner?" He asked, using a hand to push your hair over your ear, not taking the hint that you didn't want him touching you.

"I just-" what possible excuse could you come up with that would be both effective and not insulting enough to have your head chopped off. "you- you dont care about me."

Baldwin looked at you in bewilderment. "I dont... care about you? Princess, how can you say that?" He tried to cup your cheek again but you backed away before he could, putting on a face of hurt.

"How can I not? You dont care about what I want, or even ask me what I need?" You feingned pain in your voice, turning away from him for dramatic effect.

He grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards him, his pupils grew wide as if trying to search for what it is that you need. "My love, what do you want? Just say the word, and I'll give it to you."

You looked down, again for the theatrics, and Baldwin lifted your chin. "Go on."

"You never- never asked me to marry you."

"Huh? But I did today-"

"No, you stated it- demanded I marry you." You furrowed your brows and looked down again.

Baldwin smiled. Of course, how could he have not asked you? You were a girl after all, you want to be courted the traditional way. Its not your fault that you dont know that kings do not ask permission for things. They just get it, because who would refuse to marry a king?

He kissed your forehead, lifting your chin again to meet his eyes. "Im sorry, princess. I shouldve asked." He took your hands in his and had that charming smile again. "Will you marry me, Y/n?"

"No." You shook your head. "I... I cant marry you, your majesty." You said, adding tears into your eyes. His brows furrowed in concern.

"What? Why?" You tried pulling your hands away but he didnt let go, tightening his grip ever so slightly.

"I-" well, you could say that youre not catholic and the church would never let you two get married, but you also dont wanna be tortured for being a "heretic". Maybe religious differences could be the last plan. Taking your silence as hesitance, Baldwin spoke. "I can offer you everything and more. Jerusalem would be yours. What is it that I lack that anyone else could offer?"

"I am not a good match for you!" Ah yes, lets do the typical "its not you, its me." You bit your lip as you yanked your hands out of his and walked towards the window, your back to him (theatrics). "You and I are not equals- no we are nowhere close! Youre a king, your father was a king, your family is royalty. I come from nothing, as did my ancestors. There will never be stability in our marriage when we come from such different backgrounds!" You never thought that you would be putting yourself down and call yourself "inferior" to break up with a man.

Silence hung in the air, as you held your breath.

"Youre right." You heard him say behind you. "We are not equals, we never will be." For some reason, instead of being relieved, a chill ran down your spine. Baldwin wrapped his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "I may be a king, but youre far superior to me. You're an angel, sent to me by God, and you saved me. I wouldnt be king anymore if you werent here, princess."

Warmth spread from your cheeks to the tip of your ears, both due to the close proximity and his words. Sensing your bashfulness, he chuckled, kissing your cheek as he turned you around to face him. You could hear your own heart beat at how close he was.

Baldwin tilted his head, half lidded eyes staring at you. "Youre everything and more that I could ask for, princess. Never put yourself down and compare yourself to me, hm?" He said, giving your arms a gentle squeeze before moving away, but not detaching himself completely as he took ahold of your hand and looked back at you.

"Now that this is settled, let us go eat. I've had the servants prepare a feast for us and then we can discuss wedding arrangements-" shit shit shit shit shit fuck it!

"I'm not catholic!" Baldwin halted at that. You've already said it, might as well dig yourself a deeper hole. You let the tears form in your eyes. "Im... Muslim. I didnt tell you because I didnt want you to think I was working for Salauddin and spying on you for him, you know I wasnt! I really did only want to know about you. Please believe me, I wasnt-"

"I believe you."

What? Just like that.

"You- you believe me?" You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Once again, Im sorry i didnt tell you I was a Muslim, but dont worry, I'll pack my things and leave tonight-"

"Why? We still have to get married."

You blinked slowly. "But... Im Muslim?"

Baldwin shrugged. "So? It doesnt change anything."

You looked at him in bafflement. "It does! It changes everything! We cant get married! Im a Muslim! The church wont allow interfaith marriages, and I dont intend on converting to catholicism either if thats what youre suggesting!"

"I am not suggesting that. You can be a muslim if you want to, but we're still getting married." Baldwin stated matter of factly.

"The church wont allow it-"

"The church will do as I say. I am the head of the church. Besides-" He smiled.

"I dont remember angels having to prove themselves to be a catholic. You saved my life, you cured my incurable disease. As far as the church is concerned, youre a miracle sent to me by God. Youre the Chosen One!"

Is he... is he hearing himself? Can you try to convince him?

"But... but Jerusalem deserves a Catholic Queen-" you tried weakly, but he cupped your cheek and smiled gently at you.

"I am Jerusalem, Y/n. And I deserve you." Was all he said before pecking your forehead.

He tugged you along with him. "Now, we have to eat."

You dont want to eat. You want to stay behind and think of another strategy because clearly you cant talk yourself out of this wedding.

"I'm- I'm not hungry." You said, making him frown.

"How is that possible? You havent had anything since morning. I dont want you getting sick before the wedding." Baldwin continued to pull you along.

Does he not listen?

"I dont want to eat- I- dont feel like it." You said a bit harshly this time, hoping he'd take the hint.

And he did, finally stopping. He sighed and let go of your hand. "Okay. I suppose if you really dont want to, we can skip dinner tonight." Fucking finally. "Its just... I seem to have developed a habit of enjoying meals with you. And now that my leprosy is cured and I have no more diet restrictions, I just- I had the kitchen prepare some of my favourite dishes that I was able to enjoy before my disease disabled me."

You stared at him. Is he- is he trying to guilt trip you? Baldwin once told you that due to leprosy he had ulcers in his mouth, and he couldnt eat different types of food, and was only able to have bland, soft goo.

You looked away from his big sad eyes. He's not getting to you. You need to go back to your room, make yourself scarce, be far away from him as often as possible.

"You can still go and eat dinner alone."

With one hand, he cupped your cheek. "Princess, you know I cant eat until you eat too. But its okay, if you dont want to eat, then I wont too. I guess I'll just have the servants finish the chicken roast and oh-! They even made strawberry cream cake for dessert. But- maybe another day."

You looked into his eyes, those blue orbs that were filled with sadness, resembling a kid who was just told "no candy!"

Sighing, you held his hand. "Maybe I can have a few bites."

His face lit up. Ah, he knew you'd come around. "Lets go!"

-

The next day, youre helped by the maids to get ready for the day. Apparently, Sibylla wanted to meet you and discuss some things, and you suspect she wants to talk about the wedding preprations.

The maids had prepared your bath and were very insistent on washing you themselves but you made them all leave the bath chambers. Finally, they compromised when you told them that they could dress you up if they wait outside.

Setting your old clothes on the bed, you entered the bathroom and settled into the warm water. The essential oils and flower petals soothed your mind and body, and you finally had some desperately needed silence to hear your own thoughts.

Last night at dinner, Baldwin was very- well, "happy" would be an understatement to how he felt near you. And all those forehead kisses and skin contact doesnt go unnoticed by you either. You suppose that since he had leprosy, he never really had or was allowed to touch anyone else. But now that hes cured, all thanks to your dumb ass, he craves the physical intimacy.

You closed your eyes as you sank deeper into the warm water. Gosh, did I really have to give him the water? Had I not done that, he would still be ridden with lepro-

Your eyes snapped open. Thats it. You just have to make sure he never drank your water in the first place! Yes! You can go back in time and sure, its always dangerous to go back in the same time period more than once, but you really dont have any other option now, do you?

After half an hour, you finally exited the bathroom and the maids practically ushered you to sit in the chair as they finally, FINALLY got to dress up the future queen of Jerusalem and after a whole hour, they're finally done. And... well you look good. Your hair has been done nicely, and a delicate golden headpiece, almost like a elegant hair band sits on top of your head. They added some color to your cheeks and lips with crushed berries. As for your clothes, they dressed you in a dark blue tunic with loose, flowing sleeves. The tunic itself was made of silk, probably brought in from the Byzantine empire and was only available to the upperclass of this time.

"I am not wearing those!" You said when they opened the jewellery boxes. There were diamonds and other precious stones adorning the earrings and necklaces.

"But princess, you must wear these. It is royal protocol for the king's bride to be, and the future queen to wear the royal jewels." The head maid said. She doesnt know that you dont plan on sticking around and if you leave wearing these jewels, who knows what havoc would that cause?

"No. I dont want to wear them."

The maids shared a look of concern. "What?" You asked them.

"Its just... his majesty picked these out for you himself. He would be mad at us if you were not wearing these." One of the younger servants spoke as she fumbled with her fingers. Through the mirror, you looked at everyone's worried expression. You doubt that someone as calm and collected as Baldwin would lose his marbles over his fiancee not wearing jewellery.

"I dont think the king would be mad at you if I dont wear some jewellery. He isnt one to get angry that easily, you know?" You said chuckling, but it died when you saw them share the same concerned looks again. This time, you turned away from the mirror to look at them directly. "What? Go on, no secrets."

Another maid mustered up the courage to mumble. "Well- it's just- the king- I mean- his majesty is calm but um-" she paused to look at the other maids for help but they all avoided eye contact. "Out with it." You said a bit sternly.

"His majesty... gets... emotional- yes, emotional! When it comes to matters concerning you."

"Emotional? What do you mean? Speak clearly, no word will get out of this room, I promise." You spoke all while glaring at the other maids to make them silently comply to not tattle on their friend.

The maid bit her lip. "His majesty... gets mad when he thinks that you're not being treated well." You gave her a look to continue. "A few weeks back, while you were strolling out in the garden, his majesty reprimanded some of his knights for not escorting you. He asked them why they weren't guarding you?"

A few weeks back? It may have made some sense for Baldwin to be protective of his bride to be, but you two weren't engaged until yesterday. And before that, his relationship with you was barely platonic, more like a king-servant thing.

"Tell her about the kitchen incident too." Another maid whispered.

"What kitchen incident?"

"Um, 2 months ago, when the kitchen had prepared a feast for his majesty, he almost fired the entire kitchen staff for serving olives with the entree." You gave them a quizzical look. "Well, his majesty had told them that you can't eat olives and had told them not to include it in the palace's food. But it was a feast to celebrate his victory and the staff thought it'd be best to add olives because the king likes them."

Your eyes widened at that. He almost fired the kitchen staff because you said you can't eat olives? I mean, it's not like you're deathly allergic, you just didn't like how tart they were and when Baldwin saw you picking them out on your plate, all you could manage to blurt out was that you can't eat them. Perhaps, he thought you had diet restrictions like him.

You huffed. That still didnt warrant such a reaction from him. "That isn't nice. Don't worry, I'll talk to him."

The maid looked at you in horror. "No! I mean, his majesty would not like that we- um..." she tried to come up with appropriate words that wouldn't be insulting. Her scrunched up face as she thought hard made you giggle.

"Fine, fine. I won't say anything to him. You have my word." You said, smiling at them assuringly.

The head maid then held out the pearl necklace to you. You sighed and nodded, and they all cheered as they started picking out the jewels for you.

Its okay. You told yourself. I can always drop them somewhere before time travelling.

-

As soon as you were dressed, one of Sibylla's lady-in-waiting came to fetch you. She hurried you, saying something along the lines of "you must see princess Sibylla right away!" And you couldn't stop her from pulling you along, so time travelling will have to wait.

"Princess Sibylla needs to see you right away, princess!" The maid said as she pulled you towards a room. Knocking on it, the door swung open and you were met with the sight of different gowns hanging on dummies with maids tending to them, and right in the center of the room was Sibylla, practically jumping on her heels.

"Y/n!" She yelled out as she ran towards you and engulfed you in a hug before her lady in waiting, the same one standing beside you, cleared her throat. It caught Sibylla's attention who gasped softly before backing away and immeadiately giving you a courtesy. "I mean, princess Y/n." You gave a nasty look to the lady in waiting before shaking your head at an embarrassed Sibylla. "You don't need to courtesy to me, princess Sibylla."

She immeadiately beamed. "Of course I do! You're not going to be just my sister in law, you're also going to be Queen of Jerusalem! Of course i bow to you."

Me, a queen? Yeah, we'll see about that.

"Still, I consider us friends before anything else." You offerer her a small smile. "You called for me?"

"Oh? Oh, yes!" She immeadiately grabbed your hand and pulled you further into the room. "I didn't know what colours and material you preferred, so I ordered them to bring everything with the best seamstresses in kingdom!" She pointed at the seamstresses, who bowed to you.

"But... I don't need clothes. I already have a wardrobe." Your statement made Sibylla laugh as did a few of her hand maidens.

"Ahh, you're so naive!" Sibylla giggled. "That wardrobe doesn't exist anymore. You're a princess, soon to be queen, you need a royal wardrobe!" She said as she dragged her hand over one of the gowns, feeling the material. "And! You still have to select your bridal gown!"

For the next 3 hours, Sibylla had the maids show you different gowns and materials, even helping by giving her input as to what would suit you.

"I still like my old clothes, they're quite comfortable." You sighed. Designing your new wardrobe was not something that needed your urgent attention at the moment. You need to return to your room and get the time machine from your old dress and leave this era.

Sibylla nods. "I understand what you're going through. I still remember how they burned away my entire wardrobe when I married Guy. But I suppose its poetic in a way. Since you're starting a new life, so why not start one by getting new clothes!"

Wait.

"They burnt all your old clothes?" Sibylla nods. "Mmhmm! In a way, you're burning away your past! And starting a new-" You didn't stick around as you immeadiately rushed out of the room and made your way towards your own.

You can't- your old clothes has your time machine. If they burn it, you can't ever leave!

You burst into your room, looking at the empty spot on your bed where you'd left your clothes before going in the bath.

"No." The maids, they must've put it in your closet. You searched it, searched your entire room but to no avail.

A maid walked into your room, watching you tear apart the bedroom. "P-princess? May I help-"

"Where are my clothes?!" You walked upto her, the poor maid's fright apparently on her face. "WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?"

"They- they're burning it-"

"WHERE?!"

"The gardens!"

You ran out of your room, and made your way towards the royal gardens as fast as you could, but with how huge this palace was, getting there took a while. Not to mention when you did get to the gardens, you didn't spot anyone there, but you did notice the smell of something burning, which lead you to the back of the gardens, that was away from everyone's sight.

There you found them, two maids burning your clothes in a small bonfire.

"PUT IT OUT!" You yelled as you rushed towards them, startling them.

"Princess-" they began bowing.

"Didn't you hear me? PUT THE FIRE OUT!" They scrambled about trying to find some water, but of course, they didn't have it.

"I'll get it from the fountain!" The two maids ran to get a bucket of water for you, but it would be too late by the time they came. So when you spotted your old dress burning, you pulled it out with bare hands, not caring about burning yourself.

The dress was mostly burnt to ashes, while only few bits remained that were still on fire. You managed to wrangle out your time machine out of it, the small metal box that was burning hot and left marks on your skin as you tried to hold it.

But even from here, you could see the damage was done. The area that displayed the year had now completely melted off, as did some of the buttons.

No. No. No. No. No. NO!

You couldn't help but cry as reality began to set in. You're stuck here.... you're stuck here forever.

Heart wrenching sobs wracked your body as you tried to hold the hot metal machine in your hands, your skin burning as you tried. Even when the servants came and poured the water on the fire, you still kept on crying, clutching your machine to your chest, partly to conceal it, partly from helplessness.

The maids looked at each in worry as they tried to console you, tried to pacify you, lest you had them executed. But it didn't matter, you were inconsolable. While one of the maids sat by your side, trying to soothe you, the other one ran in to get help.

Moments later, when you were able to hide the machine in your clothes again, someone came up and touched your shoulder from behind.

"Y/n?" You looked up through your tears. It was Baldwin. For some reason, seeing him only made you cry harder as you finally realised that you were stuck here with him. That you fucked up permanently.

"Oh princess. What's wrong? Don't cry- shhh, I'm here." He pulled your body towards him, letting you sob into his chest heartbreakingly. Exhaustion, frustration and shock must have overtook your body, as you fainted in his arms.

"Princess? Y/n?" He tried waking you up before collecting you in his arms and rushing back into the castle.

-

Hours later, you woke up to find yourself back in your room, lying in your bed. Your eyes looked down at your hands which were now wrapped in bandages. They only served as a reminder of what youd lost- your time machine.

Tears welled up in your eyes again. Am I- am I really stuck here? You sniffled.

A hand came up to caress your cheek, startling you.

It was Baldwin. "Princess? Do you want to tell me what happened?" His soft tone made you even more sad, and you raised your bandaged hands to wipe your tears, but he caught your wrists and lowered them back gently, using his own hands to wipe away the tears.

"No, you cant use your hands for sometime. The burns need to heal." His hand remained on your cheek, thumb caressing the area under your eye. "What happened, Y/n? Why were you so upset?"

You cant avoid the topic for long, and now that your way of escape is gone, you need to be careful of what you say and how you act around the king.

You let out a shaky breath. "They... they burned my clothes."

"Mmhm. Dont worry, I will have them bring in the fanciest clothes for you. Sibylla will make sure of it. Only the best for my princess." You shook your head. "Its not- its not that... They were my clothes... they burned away-"

"I know... but its a tradition. The maids burn away the bride-to-be's old clothes to signify that youre detaching yourself from the past and starting a new life." He explained, watching as you sniffled. Clearly, you were still upset over this.

"But the maids, they still should've informed you of this tradition before doing anything. I know how emotional of a transition this could be for girls." You nodded sadly, heart still sinking at the loss of your machine. "Dont worry though, they will be punished harshly for it. I have them in the dungeons tonight, and tomorrow-"

"What? Punished? No!" You cut him off. You dont want anyone to die because of you, especially when you dont know if anyone these people could potentially be an ancestor of yours.

"But they caused you harm. You burned yourself due to their-"

"No, no. Please, don't punish anyone- I- it was my fault for not knowing about royal traditions! Please, your Majesty, I beg you- don't do this- i- i-" You pleaded.

"Shhh, okay. Okay. I won't punish them for it." He patted your hair. "On one condition."

You looked at him in confusion.

"You call me Baldwin from now on." He grinned. "We are to be husband and wife soon, I don't want us to use royal titles with each other."

Your eyes widened. Is he- is he really giving up titles? You're not that blind to see his attempts at intimacy, but what you don't understand is why or even how you came to be on the receiving end of it.

What exactly is it about you that has made him want to marry you? Surely, Baldwin would've preferred to marry someone of this era, someone who is more compatible with him. Despite you trying to blend in the past months, you allowed Baldwin to see how you're not... as Conservative as most people of this time period are. One could say that he may be impressed by how intelligent you are than others, but it also brings up the factor of being "threatened" or "insulted" by the same intelligence.

Even though you consider beauty to be a "subjective" thing, the whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", you're not blind to how attractive others are. So why not them?

Did he only like you because you're intriguing? Does he still think you're a spy? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?

Probably. Or maybe he really does believe all that mumbo jumbo about you being "an angel sent to save him."

"As you wish... Baldwin."

-

Last night, after Baldwin had left you to rest, you stayed up and tried to figure out if you can fix your time machine, and if not, then can you built another one?

Fucking hell. You closed your eyes. I made it once, I can build it again. But it's easier said than done.

Back in the present, you had the technology to build it. Now? You have to first make the technology and the tools from scratch before you could even get on making your time machine, all while keeping your science project discrete, which was easier before because you weren't going to be married to a fucking King!

Right now, you're sitting in Baldwin's private dining room (yes, there are more than one dining room. He's royalty, what did you expect) having breakfast- well, being fed breakfast.

"You really don't need to do this." You said as Baldwin fed you another spoonful. He smiled as he wiped your lips with a napkin. "I don't need to, I want to. Besides, I don't want my princess starving."

Involuntary, your face flushed. "I- the maids could've fed me. And im not a princess." He frowned slightly. "Why would you- open wide, princess- why would you want the maids to feed you when you have me?" He pushed the spoon to your face as you parted your lips, but then he pulled it away and brought his face close to yours. "Do I make you nervous?"

You backed away immediately. "I- no- I mean-"

He burst out laughing. "I'm- I'm sorry princess, but you are just too endearing!" Baldwin chuckled as he grabbed the spoon again and fed you.

Your cheeks reddened, this time more out anger than embarrassment. "I don't want to eat anymore." You muttered, turning your face away.

He smiled as he brought the spoon to your lips again. "Ah ah, but you still haven't had enough." However, you rejected again, looking away instead of replying.

He sighed, placing the spoon back on the plate. "I'm sorry, princess. I shouldn't have laughed at you."

"You shouldn't have." You mumbled, face still turned away from him.

His lips quirked up a bit. "You know, for someone who insists that she's not a princess-" He turned your face to him gently. "- you sure have all the blandishment of one."

"Blandishment?"

"Flattering actions of a princess." He nodded.

You frowned. "Are you calling me a spoiled princess? A brat?"

"I would never!" Baldwin gasped. "I enjoy you acting like royalty, demanding respect and attention. You deserve it and more. Besides-" He picked up some food on the spoon again and brought it to your lips. "Even if if you were a spoiled, bratty princess, I wouldn't mind. I would enjoy spoiling you, hm?" He nudged the spoon to your lips softly.

You parted your lips, making him smile. It really is hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you with his baby blue eyes. They just- they draw you in.

"Also, before I forget, I will be leaving the castle today to meet Salauddin. So you can either hand out with Sibylla, who still wants to help you design your wedding gown, or your can-"

Salauddin? "Why are you meeting Salauddin? Isn't he your enemy?"

He chuckled. "Only on the battlefield. He and I have developed a friendship, or a mutual respect over the years. As to why I'm going to meet him, is... well, you."

"Me?" He nodded. "Since you told me that you're a Muslim, I thought that we could perhaps have a discreet Islamic wedding- what is it called? Nikkah? So, I could go and learn more about it from Salauddin."

You opened your mouth to protest. You don't need to be part of history as the "king of Jerusalem's Muslim wife" or "the Muslim-Christian wedding that took place during the Crusades", even if it might make the world more progressive.

But then, you didn't protest. "Can I come?"

Baldwin raised a brow at you. "You want to meet Salauddin?" You shook you're head. "Well, no, not really. I mean, I don't mind meeting him, but I just want to get out of the castle for a bit. It's been months since i left this place, I just want to get some fresh air." This could be the perfect opportunity for you, because if memory serves you right, Muslims of this era had made significant advances in science. Maybe you can use their help to get some tools to make the time machine again.

Baldwin looked unsure. "I don't know if it would be safe for you-" you held his hand with your bandaged ones. "Please, Baldwin? Can't you take me with you? And wouldn't I be the most safe when I'm with you?" Ah yes, stroke the male ego.

Finally, he smiled.

"Alright. I supposed it would be fine, after all, you should see the kingdom you're going to be the queen of."

Thoughts? (Also, I need to go shower rn, so I'll put the read more later. Doing so much effort for u guys, my spoiled greedy children)

Part 3 is here.

[ferrstappen]

aren't we supposed to surprise you? l Charles Leclerc blurb

pairing: dad!Charles Leclerc x female reader.

you can find more of my version of dad Charles' here <3

summary: you somehow manage to overshadow Charles and Jo's gift.

Charles was an anxious man. Even more so since Josephine was born two years ago.

Yes, people laughed at him but he didn't care, he was going to sprint towards his daughter every time she took a wrong step and fell down, or his system would shut down whenever her lower lip trembled. Charles could communicate with his daughter through her eyes, they told him everything he needed to know in the meantime before she learned how to properly express herself.

They were an unstoppable duo, everybody knew that, but Charles was aware the reason both him and Jo could feel at ease and safe was you, and maybe he didn't remind you enough of that.

His mother and younger brother accompanied him to the various shops around Monaco, Pascale having to fight Charles to let her carry the stroll on the street, Arthur shaking his head at Charles' antics, playfully pitying his niece.

"I am going to make sure to take her to the worst tattoo parlors and pubs when she's older and then I'm showing you the images so you can die of a heart attack," Arthur teased his brother, earning a glare from Charles while being chastised by his mother, but the youngest Leclerc saw a smile on his mom's face.

Arthur winked at his niece and she giggled. Lorenzo had no chance of ever being the favorite uncle.

They entered different shops, not wanting to go for the typical jewelry and overly expensive designer clothing and accessories. No, Charles wanted to give you something you'd truly appreciate, something for you to relax and show yourself some love and distraction. Now it was turn for Arthur to carry Josephine while teasing his brother for being a simp.

A couple of books he thought you'd enjoy, different colored bath bombs, luxurious soaps and candles were some of the goods you were going to receive for Mother's Day.

Dad and baby Leclerc arrived got home greeted by the smell of coffee and some kind of pastry. It smelled like Charles' dream life; his life.

You smiled at Charles and gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking Josephine from his arms, your daughter babbling about papa and maman.

It was past midnight, Josephine sound asleep on her room after both you and Charles read her a short book in Italian, trying to accustom her to the language, all while you marveled at how Charles did the different voices and intonations.

Now it was just you and him in bed, his naked chest against your own skin, while his familiar hand found its place on your thigh, drawing shapeless figures, enjoying the peace of having you with him.

"I have to tell you something," You made sure to not make eye contact with Charles, hiding your face against his neck.

Charles chuckled with your reaction, "What is it and why are you hiding, bebé?" He tried to get you to face him.

"I know this wasn't planned or anything," you began talking but know Charles felt tears on his chest, it got him worried and helped you sit on the bed while assuring you whatever it was, you'd be able to find a solution.

"Babe, I'm two months pregnant," you announced and Charles placed his hand on his mouth in astonishment.

"No, in Bahrein?" Charles blurted out and a smile appeared on your face, of course that would be his first reaction as his brain processed the news.

You didn't know what you were expecting, maybe it was a problem because Josephine was still too young, maybe Charles didn't want another baby, you never really discussed it after Jo was born, but even in the dark his glossy green eyes were shining as his hand found its known place on your neck, his thumb softly caressing your cheek before lovingly kissing you.

those one of a kind kisses, the ones that were special and held so many emotions. neither of you could hide the smile appearing, only smiling at each other, Charles still caressing your cheek.

but suddenly he dropped his hand to your thigh, an unreadable expression on his face.

"But it's mother day and you're surprising me? No, I have this whole thing planned!" Charles protested and this made your eyes tear up, now it was your time to find his lips.

God, maybe it was time for a boy to mimic his dad.

[yumeka-sxf]

My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 3

Continuing from my previous two posts, this will be my last post discussing the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." I'll discuss some of Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters, some of the included concept art for the series, all the Twiyor tidbits the book has to offer, and conclude with a couple things the English version of the book omits.

Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters

There's at least one comment from Endo and/or Lin on every chapter of the manga from when the book was originally published (up to chapter 61). Unfortunately I can't cover every single comment, but I did want to highlight a few (more will be covered in the Twiyor tidbits later on).

So Bond wouldn't have actually died from Yor's cooking then? Good to know her cooking isn't that bad, lol. Also that's a good question, Lin, maybe you should ask Endo? 😅

Lots of great info about the cruise arc. Makes sense that they had to plan it out many months in advance and keep revising it to patch up plot holes. All that work definitely paid off! Interesting that they almost considered not having Loid on the ship at all. Glad they didn't because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten one of his best outfits! 🤣 (can't wait to see this piece of work in color in the anime!)

Incidentally, the scene Endo mentions where he "managed to make Yor look pretty cute" is this one (she does look pretty cute here).

My favorite comment of Endo's about any chapter has to be this one for chapter 56. Never change, Endo 😂

And lastly, some good comments about chapter 59 (Becky visits the Forgers).

This is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters so I'm glad it was well received. Funny how they kept going with the joke instead of ending it "normally"...but when you have such great characters and setups, good comedy writes itself!

Below is Endo's commentary about Henderson, not a specific chapter, but thought I'd point it out since he mentions Henderson is the only character he's done a shower scene for...not anymore!

Also, while not related to a specific chapter, I do like what Endo says below about Loid and Yor's "dark sides."

He enjoys drawing them this way, which is cool, but he's also cautious about not overdoing it and saving those expressions for important situations.

Concept art

Most of the pre-serialization character designs included in this book were also in the exhibition pamphlet, which I already discussed thoroughly here (wish I had remembered these were in the fanbook so I wouldn't have put so much effort into trying to read Endo's scribble notes). So I'll just mention a few of the most notable things.

As I discussed in my post about the pamphlet, Franky was at some point intended to be the uncle of the family. Though I do think it would have been fitting to make him the uncle, I also like the main focus being on just the "nuclear" family, with the uncle and other characters having supportive roles.

An interesting note about the beta version of Yor is that she seemed to be more like Fiona - she was in love with Loid right from the start, to the point of trying to eliminate Anya! I doubt this is something she would be doing all the time as it would have been difficult to make her a likable main character if she was always trying to kill her daughter...in all likelihood, she would have tried to kill Anya at first before eventually learning to love her as a daughter. While I see how this could work for an intriguing character arc, I'm glad Endo decided to make Yor a loving mother to Anya right away, and not make her feelings for Loid an obsessive "love at first sight" kind of thing.

Twiyor tidbits

Being the shipper that I am, I tried to see if I could pinpoint any Twiyor subtleties throughout the book, as vague as they may be! 😂

Below are excerpts from Loid and Yor's character pages where we're given info on their current stance about each other.

Love the emphasis on their bond of trust ❤️

Below are excerpts from chapters 14 and 35, probably the most Twiyor-heavy chapter pages in the book.

This confirms that Loid did indeed interpret Yor's kick as her not having any romantic feelings for him.

Below are comments by Endo and Lin for chapter 30, where Fiona is introduced.

Endo's line is a little ambiguous here, but I think he's saying how people sympathize with Fiona because she's "doomed to lose," which is...telling 😅 (does Fiona's loss automatically mean a Twiyor win?)

Endo says he likes the "You're strong, Yor" conversation, one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far! 😊 Lin also mentioned how they got to use that theme again during the Becky chapter.

Weird that he chose to highlight this line of all things as Loid's "Family Comment" for chapter 10. Could this and chapter 79 be more foreshadowing for an eventual "Twilight vs Thorn Princess" showdown? 👀 Or maybe he just likes teasing fans because he knows it's something they fantasize about.

English version omissions

There's an additional Endo interview that's missing from the English version of the book: an interview with him and Kazumi Takayama, a former idol of the group Nogizaka46.

At first it seemed very odd that they would leave out just this interview, but after discussing it with others on Discord, I realized it's because it has to do with an idol. Apparently getting licensing rights for anything that has to do with a Japanese idol group is very difficult, which is further hindered by the fact that Takayama isn't even part of that idol group anymore, which makes getting the content green lit for official release overseas even more taxing. So probably Viz decided it wasn't worth the trouble and just left out that interview. But thankfully u/Nemshi on Reddit posted a fan translation of it, which you can read here. They talk a bit about SxF, but most of it is just general questions they ask each other.

And the other thing missing from the English version that I really can't understand is the inside cover! Another great 4th-wall breaking joke from Endo (I added a quick translation of the Japanese version below).

Unlike the Takayama interview, I have no idea why they didn't include this. They include the inside cover as an extra page in all the English volumes, so why not here? Very weird.

---

And that's all I'm going to share for the "EYES ONLY" fanbook! Honestly, there's so much great content in the book that I didn't touch on, like info about East/West relations, about Eden Academy, Endo's comments on all the designer chairs for the volume covers...and lots more. So definitely get a copy yourself if you can! It's a must-have for any SxF fan 😁 Books like this aren't officially released in English very often, so the fact that Viz thought it was worthwhile to make this proves how much of a hit SxF is!

<- Return to Part 2

[morgansunflower]

Hi! I don't know if you do requests or if they are open but will you PLEASE make a part 2 of your Damian Wayne x Pregnant reader story?! I really love it!! ❤️

Here's your request! Hope you enjoy!!

Warnings:suggestive content, explicit language, past mentioned violence and suggestive content.

Words:1395

Damian sits on the chair by the desk. It was 4 o'clock in the morning. His first night through to very early morning without his girls... He didn't bother laying down knowing that without her beside him.. He'd feel anxious. He would worry about her and their unborn child. Because he wouldn't be there to protect them. He knew he would open his eyes expecting her to be right beside him and then feel a deep sense of loneliness. Damian wanted to be with her until his last breath.

Damian takes out his drawing book Y/N gave him for his birthday. He takes a pencil and began to draw. It always helped him, calm his anxiety. He began to draw Y/N in a.. Intimate way. Though rather than it usually calming his anxiety.. He slammed the journal shut thinking too much about her. He hated he couldn't hold her.

Damian hears a small vibration from his phone. He quickly opened his phone as he sees it's from her. He then let out a deep breath. She's OK. He the softly chuckled seeing what she texted.

-are you awake?-

She can't sleep. She didn't know if it was her baby kicking, her cravings, or the simple fact he wasn't with her. She also thought it could be because she was anxiously anticipating Damian's proposal. It was nearly all she thought about.. That and the fact she missed him

-tt of course I am-

-just 2 more nights.. -

-two miserable nights. Other than our obvious sulking.. Is there anything new about our child? -

-healthy and currently kicking me. I think she misses your voice-

Damian's heart swelled with love into, heartbreak he wasn't there to feel his baby girl kicking. He had to let his secret be known. Because not only was he, so happy to tell his family.. He hated when Y/N would enter a room with a small breath as she struggled walking from exhaustion. Or she would try to get comfortable on the couch while watching a movie with the family. Or that he couldn't sit beside her as he craved to be near her. With all of those recurring issues, he could only stand there so their secret would remain a, secret.

-I miss you both. It pains me to be away from you both-

-we miss you too. I also can't sleep thinking about you proposing to me-

As Damian came home he tried to plan the perfect proposal. Something perfect and beautiful that she deserves. Though rather than the perfect place.. It was the perfect moment. They were having dinner at her, favorite restaurant. Damian had the whole night secretly planned. He, wanted to be patient...

Though as she pulled his hand to feel their daughter kicking.. He looked in her eyes that gave him such a thrilling feeling he could only experience with her. He feels his daughter kicking. He couldn't hold his question back as she smiled to him..

"marry me?..." he asked kissing her temple

She cups his face as her eyes shake in excitement. Even though she was expecting it, she wasn't expecting her tears. She grabbed his collar pulling him into a deep kiss. Thankfully Damian had reserved a, private area in the restaurant for the couple. He began taking out the ring from his pocket. Damian places the ring on her finger and then kisses, her knuckles.

"took you long enough" she softly laughs with tears.

"it's you're fault, you know? You make me nervous.. and impatient" he chuckled

3 days later....

"what do I wear?" Y/N asked looking at the dresses she had laid on her bed.

Damian stood beside her trying but failing to help her decide what to wear.

"Beloved you have known my family for 4 year's" Damian reassured casually "they adore you, for you are beautiful, kind and perfect"

She scoffed annoyed "this is different Damian! I'm engaged to you"

"they love you and will continue loving you--" he kisses her bump "and our baby just as I do"

"thank you for calming me down" she grinned kissing him. "and by the way don't think I'm not getting all blushy from your sweet little comments"

"it's my pleasure besides you need me" he smirked

She touched his chin smirking back "you need me too jerk"

He kisses her, left hand "forever and always my love"

Y/N leaves for Dr's appointment. The family were told Damian's fiancée would arrive at 4:30. Y/N had said she wouldn't be back until after her appointment at around the, same time of Damian's betrothed. They were also anxious to meet Y/N's fiancé. Everyone obviously noticed the ring appear after her night out.. Alone. The couple were grateful as to how oblivious their family is.

4:31 p:m...The doorbell rings. Excitement mixed with nervousness was felt amongst everyone in the room. They watch has Damian hurries for the door.

"allow me a moment with her before you all crowd her with questions" Damian ordered just as he left

Everyone leans to peep their heads at the window looking down. They see Damian standing in front of her, near the entrance of the Manor.

"I can't see her! Can anyone see her. Damn she has her mouth all over Damian. He, seems to know how treat a, woman" Stephanie mumbled surprised by her little brother

Dick clicks his tongue "taught him everything I know" Dick proudly said

"beloved do you see anything?" Talia asked her husband of 3 years.. Though that didn't mean she hadn't loved him for so much longer

"darling if I saw her face I would certainly have told you" Bruce promised.

"you never kiss me like that" Barbara sarcastically said to Dick

"ok let's not talk about that. We all disgustingly know how Frenchy you two get with each other" Jason scoffed

"this feels wrong to be doing but I feel better knowing I'm not the only one doing it" Duke admitted

"right there with you Duke" Tim said

"what are you all doing? Haven't I taught you how staring is considered rude?" Alfred asked wondering why he even bothered trying

As the couple part gasps were heard. Damian and Y/N see everyone looking at them. She waved up to them to which she only got a, few awkward waves back.

"it's Y/N!! It's really Y/N!!" Dick shouted saying what everyone was thinking.

"I will leave you to your shock and finish making dinner" Alfred scowled leaving. Unlike them.. He already knew.

Y/N takes a deep breath as everyone left the window. Damian holds her hand helping her up the steps. He opens the door to see their family.

"hi guys.. Did I forget to tell you that Damian's my baby daddy?" she, awkwardly said

Damian waited until she was inside before letting himself in and shuts the door.

"yeah I guess you.. Uh you.. When exactly did this happen?" Stephanie asked a little loss for words "how did this happen because I thought you two?.."

"yeah and spare us the details!" Jason said still in shock.

"well I suppose it was.." Damian stammered smirking remembering their first date together

"well we didn't just decide to start sleeping with each other.. It was after Joker kidnapped me and you all rescued me.. Damian was really helpful with my.. Trauma as I would simply put it"

Damian didn't care if it seemed too quickly for them to see again. She needed it. So he moves closer to her kissing her head. He knew she hated bringing that horrible memory to surface. Though rather than make things more awkward it reassured them, of the truth. Damian is in love and Y/N is in love.

Y/N continued on "we were friends for a few months.. Then we began to realize how much we, cared about each other"

"so the times you said you were going shopping?.." Barbara asked

"on a date with him or at his apartment..." Y/N answered squeezing Damian's hand

"and the times you said you were going to the Titans again because you needed to do more work.." Dick asked

"I was with her.." Damian answered

"ohh gross that's why you two would randomly turn your comms off during patrol" Jason cringed "you two are absolutely no better than B and Tali"

[choicesficwriterscreations]

January Creator of the Month: Jerzwriter

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is CFWC's own @jerzwriter.  The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Complete Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Elsa

More below...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

It was sometime in 2017, and the first book I ever played was The Royal Romance, Book 1.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined a couple Facebook groups in 2019. I just wanted to discuss stories with others who were interested, as no one in my real life reads Choices. I didn't even know I was entering a fandom. lol I started reading fanfic on Tumblr the following year, but I found Tumblr intimidating, so I was mostly a silent reader. I didn’t start writing and contributing until May 2021, mostly because Open Heart was ending and I was in denial. 🙂

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

It’s pretty boring, actually. I’m from NJ, and I write. I wanted it to be JerZwriter, so people would know it is Jer-ZEE-Writer, but that wasn’t doable, so it’s Jerzwriter, and most think it is Jerz-Writer. Oh, well!  

4- Pull up the first and last posts in your archive, and tell us about them!  

My first post was the first chapter of my Ethan x Casey x Tobias love triangle, Delaying the Inevitable (OH).  It was my very first fanfic and I really didn't think I'd write anything beyond that.  I was so green back then, not only to fanfic but to the fandom as well. I’m really glad that I was naive because I don’t think I would have had the courage to post it if I had, but I’m glad that I did. 

My last post was Falling for You, a little drabble I wrote for Tobias x Casey (OH), and it featured a commission by the talented artist @weetlebeetle. It was a light, fun piece that took place early in Tobias and Casey's relationship, and it shows Tobias at his absolute simpiest. Lol 

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

Oh, how I wish I could draw, but I can't.  So, I’m strictly a writer. I may try giving drawing a go again, but I don't expect much to come of it. lol

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

Choices was the first fandom I ever wrote for, and I started in May of 2021.  So, just over two and a half years. I have written a little bit for some other fandoms since that time, but I primarily write for Choices.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Tough question.  I write for Open Heart, Crimes of Passion, and Wake the Dead, and they are three of my favorite stories. I also loved Desire & Decorum, but I never wrote for it.  Though, I’m planning a re-read, and you never know. 🙂

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

It was the first chapter of Delaying the Inevitable. I was so green when I started that series that I’m sure there are things I would change, but I’m still very proud of it.  That series will always have a special place in my heart.  I’d like to revisit it one day to “clean it up”, it could use some condensing. But I would never change the storyline.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

This is such an unfair question. lol The Delaying the Inevitable Series definitely comes to mind, but I’m also very proud of my Eli Sipes prequel stories, A Mother’s Journal, Coming Up Blank, and The End of the World. But Tobias and Casey are my favorite pairing, and I simply love the world I created for them. And while my headcanon for them is my favorite, I cannot pick just one fic for them, and I'm not going to! lol But, I've also written a bunch of AUs for them, and Friends* is one of my favorites.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

Yes, to both! The fandom is much smaller today, but back when we were more active, I learned you couldn't predict how a fic would be received.  There are too many to name, but I will say whenever my smut does well (and quite a few of them have), I’m always astounded. lol 

11-  If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

This is such a difficult question because I believe the best stories incorporate a little of each, and, as a writer, exploring all three helps spur creativity. Also, my absolute favorite is angst with a happy ending, so there is definitely some fluff in there (and I'm never mad at a little smut being thrown in!) But if I were forced to choose, it would probably be angst.  I think that's where I am strongest, and I just love raw emotion. I think that’s where character development really occurs. I have not written as much angst recently, and I miss it.  Perhaps I need a change in 2024. 

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are definitely parts of me in my MCs and OCs, but I do my best to prevent them from becoming self-inserts.  I'm not as cool as any of them, that's for sure! lol That said, I do find inspiration for my fics in real life, so there is bound to be a little crossover. When using real-life inspiration, I try to change details so that the fiction is not a carbon copy of the real-life event. Normally, by the time I'm done, they're hardly recognizable.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most? Where do you feel you are strongest?

I struggle most with setting a scene. Dialogue is my strong suit, and that just flows for me. It flows so much that sometimes I forget to describe what's going on around the conversation. I think this is particularly easy to do in fanfiction because so much of the "world" has already been provided for us, so I recognize this more when I'm writing original works.

The other thing I struggle with? Brevity. I know I can go on, and on, and on. lol I've gotten much better at this, but there is still room for improvement.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

(Elsa leaves the room, quietly crawls under her desk, and hides…) YES!!! Far, far too many, and no matter how much I share those posts that say, "You don't have to finish! If you're not feeling it, move on!" I don't believe it! lol I really want to make wrapping them up a priority in 2024.  But I also know writing - particularly good writing - cannot be forced.  So, it's a goal, but I'll only do it if I feel it’s right. 

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

It would depend on who asked.  I’m not ashamed of writing fanfic at all, but if I believed the person would be judgemental, I wouldn't be willing to share.  A few of my friends have read select pieces of my fanfic, and I’ve always received positive feedback from them. I wouldn’t be opposed to sharing more.  What I'd share would depend greatly on the person asking.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

There are many published writers that I admire, but I don’t think they've influenced my writing here. Within the fandom, there are many writers who have inspired me in different ways. There is no way I can ever name them all. But I'd like to give a shout-out to some.

@jamespotterthefirst and @bex-la-get were among the first writers I read when I joined Tumblr. I found their passion for both canon and the worlds they created inspiring, especially as Open Heart was nearing its end and all of us addicts needed our fill. Reading their works helped keep the story alive for me and so many others, and it inspired me to try my hand at it as well. To my shock, they were both so encouraging and supportive of me when I arrived, and I'm forever grateful. Back then, I thought they were rockstars - and they are! But now, they're also friends. I wasn't familiar with @alwaysmychoices from the start, but when I came across their work, I was just blown away.  Weekend with Dr. Ramsey will live rent-free in my head forever, and that headcanon about Charlie calling Ethan the night before she marries someone else. (I faint.) Ohhh, the delicious angst! The way she made me feel what Charlie felt was just mind-boggling, and it encouraged me to really dig into my character's emotions and bring them to life in a more meaningful way.

Early on, I read @utterlyinevitable, and the thing that impressed me the most was how Dom was willing to "write stories that “went "go there.”  They tackled issues that others wouldn't touch.  In their world, everything wasn’t perfect, including the characters themselves. I admired that vision and, frankly, bravery, and it definitely encouraged me to write what I wanted to and not what I felt was expected of me.

More recently, @mydemonsdrivealimo inspired me to explore parts of my MCs that I have not delved into in the past.  In particular, Casey's bisexuality. It can be challenging to represent a bisexual character when they are in a straight-presenting relationship, and you risk alienating readers no matter what you do (looking at all readers here.) So it becomes easier to be lazy and ignore it. But that's a disservice to the character as much as it's a disservice to people living similar situations in real life... like I have many times. Through MJ's writing and our conversations, they've helped me become more aware and do a better job in this regard, and I'm not even sure if they know this - it may totally be news to them lol - but I'm eternally grateful. Now, I feel my girl Casey is free, and OMG, how I love our characters playing together in HC now!

Then there are @lilyoffandoms and @storyofmychoices, who bring joy to all that they touch. Who knew when Lily created a little drabble putting our characters in a new world together, it would end up being one of the brightest fandom spots of 2023? Who knew that so much more would stem from that one work? Seriously, it's been one of the highlights of my fandom experience this year, and it's helped me to find inspiration at times when I felt like it was lost. Thank you both - I am so lucky to have you both here!

There are so many more I could mention, but I'd still forget people and feel horrible, so I want to take the chance to thank every writer in the fandom for sharing their gifts with us. Each of you is an inspiration in your own way; each of you can give someone an idea, and you have no idea where that spark will lead. So, never stop sharing!

17-  Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Delaying the Inevitable, Friends*, All in the Past, and the WIP What’s Forever For. I also think some of my Ethan x Tobias works would have made for a good sitcom, and how I wish my Tobias x Casey friendship with Bryce x Jensen would be an epic sitcom. The world needs it! lol   (Jensen belongs to @mydemonsdrivealimo.)

19- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

I do. Mostly shorter stories that will never see the light of day, but also some more substantive works... which will also never see the light of day! lol I wrote a novel-length political thriller some time ago. It would need a ton of work to bring it up to 2024, as the political landscape has changed so much. I also have two original WIPs I've been writing. One is an angsty story about a friendship that's loosely based on a childhood friend I lost to cancer a few years ago.  The other is a polyamorous romance about two best friends who fall for the same person. It's really a beautiful, emotional story. If I like the end result, maybe I'll let it see the light of day... maybe. lol

20-  What other hobbies do you have?

I enjoy theater, and I'm lucky enough to live in the best part of the world to partake in that.  I go to a lot of Broadway, Off-Broadway, and local theater productions. I also love going to concerts - they’re like group therapy! Trust me, I got more out of seeing Noah Kahan and Hozier in 2023 than I did from the entirety of sessions with my therapist - and I loved my therapist. lol

Prior to 2020, I did a fair amount of traveling, and I hope to start doing a little more this year.  But I have to admit, since the lockdown, I’ve become more of a homebody, and I like it, so we’ll see how that goes! 

I used to be very involved with activism and advocacy for women’s, lgbtq+, and mental health issues. I still am, but in a different capacity than I was in the past. These issues require people fighting for them, and doing so has always been a huge part of who I am, but it can be draining, and burnout is real. I really reached the end of my rope. So, nowadays, I work as a volunteer for a couple local organizations that really mean a lot to me. I'm not involved in grassroots efforts or taking trips to talk to legislators as often, but I'm helping people on a smaller scale, and that still goes a long, long way.

22: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

As most of you know, I’m one of the mods here at CFWC, so it was a little weird when my the wheel landed on my name.  But, honestly, it’s happened before, and I've just spun again, even though I am eligible. But this time around, I decided to do it. This fandom really means a lot to me, and I wanted to share a little more about myself and my crazy pixelated people.

I'm truly grateful to everyone in the fandom who does their part to make this a place that many, like me, still see as a place they want to be. We're smaller, it's imperfect, it has plenty of problems, but I am choosing to focus on the good... because there is much more of that than there is bad. So, thank you to each of you... and I hope we all have a wonderful 2024! xo

PS... My header... I know Tobias wasn't technically an LI... which was truly criminal. So, that's what fandom is for, fixing what canon effed up. lol My favorite canon LI is Trystan Thorne (COP). I tried adding their picture to the header alongside Tobias, but it looked terrible, so here I am. :)

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I can't wait to highlight more of you in 2024! :)

[dorkfruit]

i put this together using my computer's trackpad so the new year is already starting out . bad .

posts: J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D

template

reflections on the year, my plans for the future, some studies i did, and wips for the next year all down below for those who are interested

tldr; we will be ianthing next year so watch out!!

oh dear lord it's been another year. 2024! can you believe it! i don't talk much on this blog because i have a tendency to talk too much, but it's my little new year's treat, so here we go.

RECAP

i started taking drawing "seriously" in December of 2020, starting to do studies and stuff, and each year since i've ramped it up more and more. this year, i did. a lot of studies. there's probably like at least 200 more in my folder now (not including the 300 days worth of gesture drawings i did), with things like painting, faces, feet, poses, etc. anything i was struggling with, i went right into studying it. my art has been mediocre for a pretty long time now, and it's only the past few months where i feel i'm starting to get the hang of it, which is exciting!

more importantly, i started posting a lot more on this blog. i really like documenting my progress, looking on where i was before and seeing how i've improved. everytime i draw some fanart, im like, oooghh i can't wait to show my (: followers (: !! lots of locked tomb art of course. i've been trying to nail the energy of the different characters, which is why i enjoy books so much, because you get a lot of creative control. drawing ianthe is my fav of course, cause she's my lil nasty, but also i enjoyed doing designs for characters i hadnt thought about before, like judith.

in addition to the locked tomb, we had some new fandoms that got brief moments in between iantheposting: Fear and Hunger, Postal, Faith The Unholy Trinity, and a couple of old ones too, like We Have Always Lived In The Castle and The Merciless.

i posted about 115 times this year, although most of those are shitposts LOL i love posting stuff on my blog and showing people my stuff <3

THE FUTURE

my plans? do more ianthe art, of course. ill be working on more studies, probably going to work on developing a style, and figuring out how to paint. i'd like to do more actually finished pieces, but let's be honest, it'll still be mostly shitpost doodles. i'd like to do more weird stuff. i've been messing around with some gore and NSFW near the end of the year, and it's fun to draw for me. i like idk art that evokes some type of emotion, especially discomfort, and so i find that type of art fun to do, so if you don't enjoy what i've done thus far in that direction, perhaps this isn't the blog for you. i really like horror media, and so i want to do some stuff like that too.

for specifics, i like western type art, a comic book-esque style i'd like to aim for. but i'd like it to be a little more. weird with it. i find comic books often draw all the characters the same, and make all the characters traditionally attractive, and that's boring to me so i'll have to work on finding a way to keep things weird, while also appealing in a graphic sense. the worst thing my art could be is bland and forgettable.

locked tomb wise... more tridentarii art. need to be really weird with it. i have lots of wips planned, like i have a whole page worth of just thumbnails, so i wanna get some of those done. also i had a few animatics i wanted to do. mostly stupid shit, once i learn how to do animatics, then we'll do actual serious ones. id also like to do more comics. i have some comics storyboarded out with my girlies, i like telling a story so, need practice on that. id also like to develop a way to consistently draw them, for convenience sakes, so i'm not fighting for my life every single time i draw these characters. oh and i wanna do some outfit stuff. i draw them in like. generic clothes everytime but i'd like to come up with a few actual outfit designs, that i can just reference back to. and, of course, more shitposts. lots of stupid shit in 2024 for sure. there was something else i wanted to say here but i can't remember.

ART

oki enough rambling, here's some IMAGES for yall to look at i know everyone loves to look at images.

began this year by warming up with gesture sketches (almost) every day. i started with 20 poses (30 seconds each), and then in november i was like. ugh my hands suck i need to get better at hands, so i switched to doing 10 hand sketches (60 seconds each). i want my art to be very energetic so it's important that i do these !!

anatomy studies of extremities because i'm flopping at those -_- ive gotten better with hands but they're still a struggle. i hate feet tho still

need to get my painting game up. i joined an art forum to get advice, and the biggest suggestion i got was working on my values, so i did various value studies. also lots of faces because my faces flop !!

random doodles to work on drawing from imagination. on my "sketchbook" pages, as i like to call them, i'm usually pretty loose and messy, since the point is just to be drawing so often these will suck, but that's fine. i don't think very much when i draw faces on here either so they end up being in my Instinctive Style i suppose you could say

ianthe wip. i was planning to do a few drawings based on the idea of her having Missing Arm nightmares, but the lineart was intimidating to me so i haven't worked on this one more yet /: also there was going to be a toontown gay homosexual toxic yuri comic that i was gonna put here with it but the page is way too long so umm guess that'll have to wait.

...

anyways. thank you for reading if you got to the bottom of this! i appreciate all the support that i've been getting lately (extra big kissies for the same like 5 people who always reblog my posts youre the best). and we will be ianthing soo hard in 2024 so watch out!!

[highgroundanimations]

How old are you?? What made you decide to dip your toe into animation?

As of now (2023) I'm 26 years old, next birthday is on January 24. 😁

Also great question! I'll go a little more in-depth below if anyone's interested. 😊

I've been interested in animation, art & story-telling in general ever since I could think! Starting with drawing & crafting a LOT in kindergarten & making flipbook & stopmotion/brickfilm animations in elementary school. Eventually got into shooting fun little shortfilms with friends & adding visual effects to them (those films were WEIRD, but soo fun to make! 😄).

That got me more & more into 3d animation as a hobby which turned into a career once I finished school & started a 3 year apprenticeship as audio-visual media designer at an advertising agency (I was 16 back then). After that I worked there part-time as 3d generalist for 3 more years while starting to freelance on the side. Eventually made the jump to full-time freelancing & that's what I've been doing the past 4 years.

Love the creative freedom of often times being booked as "one man studio" by my clients & the variety of projects is fun! Advertising has to move fast & you're never stuck with one project for too long.

Being a freelancer also makes it possible for projects like Tukk Tales: The Rescue to happen, because I get to chose what I want to work on & when I want to work on passion projects (as long as I'm not broke lol).

And of course one of the biggest sources of inspiration & motivation throughout this journey was our beloved Wars in the Stars! ⭐⭐ I've been a Star Wars fan ever since elementary school & been drawing characters from it constantly, especially droids & clones. And then came THE CLONE WARS! I don't think I would've followed through actually teaching myself how to use 3d software back in 2008 if I hadn't seen the Clone Wars movie around that time. A full-CG, stylized show with my favorite characters in my favorite era? Sign me up! I was so intrigued by how a show like that was made, I HAD to find out!

If you have seen my Youtube channel, there are still some The Clone Wars animation videos on there, from back when I just started learning how to use the 3d software Blender: https://www.youtube.com/@HighGroundAnimations/videos

So The Clone Wars kept me going, inspired me to learn this, to be able to create my own scenes from that universe. But then, eventually you want to grow beyond that, so I wanted to try other styles, other ideas & especially once I started working, I just didn't have as much time for personal "fun" projects anymore. So very little Clone Wars from now on. Fast forward a couple of years, it's the pandemic & the perfect time to go back into hobbies! The animated Star Wars shows have progressed & met a new bar of quality with Clone Wars season 7. What an inspiration! I really wanted to try & see what I could do with all the skills & knowledge I had accumulated since last time & a project like that seemed like a great chance to further strengthen my skills as generalist. So that's when I started again, December 2020 & the name High Ground Animations was born, along with a dedicated Instagram, a renamed Youtube channel & more. No Captain Tukk yet, or any plans for a shortfilm, all that developed during the many months after that. But I've been at it again ever since & there are no plans for stopping anytime soon! 🤘

[snow-143]

Water Coloured Tears | Jeon Jungkook

six- late night inspo (1.7k words)

'You're late.' I say without looking up at him.

'And you're as blunt as usual I can see.'

Finally, looking up at him, I squint my eyes before replying, 'Don't change the topic. Why are you late?'

'I had something to take care of.'

'Look, if you aren't going to take this project seriously just say that from the get go. At least that way I can prepare to pick up your slack, so I don't fail.' My voice is a little more accusatory than it could be.

'I'm only 15 minutes late. Chill.' He's finally sat down, across from me, levelling us out.

Managing to soften my voice, I return to my previous point, 'You are going to take this seriously, right?' 

'Yes, y/n, I'm taking this seriously. I really just had to deal with something.'

'Okay. Then lets get to work. I was thinking we could both brainstorm on our individual pieces today. I have a couple of ideas, and I'm sure you do to.' I can't help but smile thinking about the art we could make together. We used to always come up with the craziest ideas together, they may not have always come out as we imagined, but we always had fun.

'That sounds good. What do you have in mind?' He's smiling now too.

'Get your sketchbook out, and I'll tell you. That is if you remembered to bring it.' It was meant to come off as harsh, but it came out far to soft, as if I was joking with him like old times.

'Shit...'

'Jungkook, I swear to god if you tell me you've forgotten it again I will shove this eraser down your throat.'

It's silent for a minute before be bursts out laughing, retreating his beaten up book from his bag. 'Not funny.' And with that I fling the rubber off his head, hitting a perfect bullseye.

This does nothing to sober up his laughing, if anything it made it worse. He's now hunched over the bench making a massive scene out of it all. 'God. You're scary when you're angry, you know that?'

'I've been told once or twice.' I let out a little laugh at this.

When he finally straightens up it's my turn to laugh at the others expense. A massive red mark has formed right in the centre of his forehead. 'Damn I have an extraordinary shot, maybe I should've gone with sport. My talent is obviously being wasted here.'

'Very funny.' He rubs the red splotch on his head cursing, 'How bad is it?'

'What? Worried it'll put off the flock of women always surrounding you?'

'Oh, trust me, It'd take a lot more than this to deter them.' He's smirking now, and It's putting an end to my fit of laughter.

'Right, sorry. Forgot you were like some sort of Greek god here.' I scoff.

'You jealous? Because you sound jealous.' He's still smirking, god do I wish I could slap that smirk off of his face.

'Jungkook, I've seen you playing Barbies with your little sister. Trust me, I do not see in you whatever every other girl on this campus sees in you.'

As soon as I'm finished talking it's like his whole demeanour has changed. He's not smirking any more, so I guess I got my wish.

'So about the individual pieces, how exactly do you think we should go about it?' Is all he replies.

Ignoring the lump in my throat I open my sketchbook and show him what I've planned so far. They aren't very detailed, but they show the overall message I'm trying to put forward.

By the end of my little presentation he's smiling again, and I can't help but feeling a little shy. We've spent hours showing each other our art but after all this time I feel like I'm laying my soul out to him.

Art has always been the way I express myself, and I'm always worried that maybe I'm showing too much.

I've only done sketches for 3 pieces. Technically 4. One that I'm planning on making out of stained-glass, it'll be made up of multiple different parts that hang from the ceiling to make an overall image. The second one is a drawing of a man, that may or may not resemble Jungkook, comforting a little girl, who may or may not resemble me as a child- representing someone healing your inner child. Of course, I'll have to find a way to incorporate the photographs, but I'm sure I'll be able to make up some pretentious explanation.

And lastly there's a sketch of 2 sculptures, both resembling me and Jeon. I must say I enjoyed drawing him far too much, and I'm sure I'll enjoy sculpting his face even more. They count as 2 pieces as we will make them separately, but they also fit together. I've drawn them, so they have cloth covering their eyes that can be removed. I'm also planning on having LED lights in their eyes, so we can change the prospective of them. We can arrange them in many different ways; with them facing away with the fabric covering their eyes, them facing each other with different colour settings on the lights to represent emotions, etc.

I've explained all of this while showing him the drawings. Him adding a little hum here and there, never interrupting me.

The sculpture is the only one of his that I've planned as I wanted it to be a joint project and for the rest I don't want to control his creativity.

'I know I've planned ahead a lot, and we still need to incorporate the pictures, but I'm sure we can think of a way to incorporate them. And for the others we can centre it more around the pictures. It's okay if you don't like the sculpture idea it's your project too, but I just thought-'

'This is amazing, y/n.' He cuts off my rambling. Closing the book I look away from his gaze.

'It's just a rough idea. You can put in any input you like.'

'Actually, I have a couple ideas myself.' Looking over at him, hinting at him to elaborate, I notice he's still smiling. It's gentle, admiring almost.

After a moment he breaks from my gaze, focusing on his sketchbook instead. 'There not as detailed as yours but... I just had a burst of inspiration last night and this morning.'

He's rubbing the back of his neck now, a nervous habit of his. I'm the one smiling now, he always did get inspired at random times. He'd go months without even picking up a pencil sometimes and then seemingly at random times he'd get 'inspiration' and then you'd never see him without his face buried in a sketchbook.

'Is that why you were late?' Glancing at me, he gives me a shy smile.

'Sort of.' He says before opening his book.

While he's flicking through his drawing, trying to find the most recent drawings in the unorganized mess I decide to try and get a look at his other drawings. It may be an intrusion, but I'm curious on how his style has changed over time.

'What was that?' I ask after he rushes to turn the page.

'Nothing. It was nothing.' That was definitely not nothing. There is a high chance I have lost my mind because I can't believe what I just saw.

It was a drawing of me. A drawing of a picture I posted on my Instagram over a month ago at least. Except the background was different.

In the actual photo I'm laying on my bed, but in his drawing I'm in a field of flowers. One that looks suspiciously like one next to his childhood home.

And surely that can't be right. It makes a lot more sense that I've finally lost it.

Deciding that I did infant hallucinate it, I focus on the drawing he's stopped on instead.

It's a beautiful drawing. If he hadn't told me that he only started on it last night I'd easily believe that he spent hours on it.

It's a drawing of a girl. Me. This I can accept as the whole project has to revolve around the other person. Except it's not just a regular drawing of me. I'm sat in a dark room with my legs crossed and my arms up in the air, looking more carefree than I truly have felt in months. My smile is bright, blinding.

But the thing that catches my focus the most are the angel wings I've got. They almost look like they're shining in contrast to the dark background. There's a bright light coming off of me lighting up the surrounding space.

'I um, I already have a photo to represent this one.' Looking up at him, we lock eyes.

I don't even know what to say. It's beautiful. I look beautiful. He truly is an amazing artist if he could show someone he clearly has some sort of disdain for in such a positive light.

Before I can even compose myself to ask any questions he's clearing his throat and looking away. Getting one last look at the drawing, I watch as he turns the page.

The next sketch is one where we are hugging. I'm basically a rainbow incarnate, full of colour. Whereas he looks like the storm clouds that hide the prism of colour away from sight. There's a bright light in both of our chests. But where we're connected in the embrace my colour is leaking into him. At first, I think it's a beautiful concept until I realise that where he's gaining colour I'm losing it. He's draining me of it. Leaving those parts of me a dark void whereas he's being filled with my light.

'I also have a picture for this one.' This time I don't look up at him. I don't think I can.

'These are insanely good Jungkook.' Swallowing the lump in my throat, I ask what we should do this Wednesday.

prev | m.list | next

///////////

a/n: first saturday i haven’t been at work in like a year so i figured i’d write last night instead of sleeping :)

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

♡Weekly Chronicles♡

December 15,2023

Hey babes! This week was amazing I am so happy I have created this blog I love being a blogger. I've wanted to create one for yearssss but I never got the time to do it and didn't know what to base my blog on. I love seeing other girlies on the same journey of self-improvement<3.

♡Education♡

The semester is officially over for me on Saturday I am so excited I need this break because school in general can be so stressful and I need this time to relax and pour into myself more I'll probably be uploading here more frequently while on break. 

♡Mental♡ 

I started antidepressants a little over a month ago and have been loving my journey on them my mind is clearer and I don't feel that little gray cloud following me anymore. I am present and not constantly worrying about others and things that I can't control. This is my first time using medication to finally have control over my mental health. Other than that my mental health has been so good. If you deal with seasonal depression you got this girl it's tough. Trust me I get it I've dealt with seasonal depression and anxiety for years and my inbox is always open for a chat but I ask before you tell me your problems ask how I'm feeling in the moment <3

♡Physical♡

I have been super consistent with my diet! Eating clean and working out every day I have been lifting 3 times a week. I didn't get to lift today because I am currently at work while typing this lol but I will make up for it by lifting tomorrow. I am currently fasting trying to make up fasts from Ramadan before Ramadan comes around again in March and I'm not going to lieeee it has been helping me look extra snatched now! Like I woke up looking in the mirror like yesss but fasting has so many benefits besides keeping you snatched it helps a lot internally as well. I recently ordered some items for my gut health journey and it's at the post office so I'm going to pick it up tomorrow super excited! This is unrelated but last night I didn't want to get out of bed to do my nightly skincare routine but I forced myself to remember my goals so I'm proud of that.

♡Hobbies♡

I have been consistent with my Italian lessons on Duolingo which I highlyyyy recommend for anyone trying to learn a new language the way its set up is perfect for me with the colors and drawing it feels like a game to me lol. I haven't been reading like I was supposed to I think I only read 2 times this week that’s super baddd I need to stay on top of it. I have been blogging consistently and I love seeing you girlies reflagging and hearting my content it means a lot and I def need to do a Q&A I’ll drop one next week for sure. I want to invest in soap making as a new hobby for me it looks like so much fun! 

♡Plans For The Weekend♡

I have a trip coming up next week I'm going to Maryland for a convention with a couple of friends from the 23 to the 27. I am super excited it's going to be so much fun. So this weekend I'm getting a lot of things together. I have to look for a few of my outfits for my trip and I'm waiting for my shoes to come. Also, I have my final this Saturday and an appointment with my OBGYN ladies don’t forget to book appointments for your check-ups your inner health is super important please take care of yourselves!

This was this week's little journal entrieee not that much occurs in my life but I still love the little update I gave you ladiesss. Comment your plans this weekend and how did your week go?

[isleofdarkness]

Jasmine's Next supply Drop

She can't fix everything Maverick is worried about, but she can at least try to ease her burden

A couple hundred gallons of bleach (can be used to purify water)

20 solar-powered desalination machines, as well as a couple dozen copies on how to make their own out of the meagre "supplies" (trash) they get on the Isle

5 crates of high-calorie emergency rations (3600 calories per bar, each bar the size of a pop-tart but twice as thick)

10 crates of assorted nuts, seeds, jerkeys, rice, and other easily-stored nonperishable.

10,000 pounds of flour (100 100-lb bags)

3 crates milk power

3 crates powdered eggs

5 crates baby formula

5 crates peanut butter

50 cameras with solar-powered chargers

Supplies and instructions to build ~20 medium hydropower generators, promises to send more if the generators work

200 fuel cubes for starting fires and 100 books of matches

Several very thick books (all copies of the same book) written by Aladdin, giving them advice for doing their distribution covertly and escaping when things go south.

Several books from Kuzco about creating irrigation canals and long-standing roads

Several books on creating and maintaining a hydroponics system, as well as 25 bags of uncursed soil and several dozen packets of seeds

A book of sigils, circles, and runes from Adam Constantine, and how to use each one to protect possible distribution centres from unwanted company

While there's not much that can be done about the guards, they gave Maverick a small book of tricks to keep fae like Maleficent or Twisted Neverfay contained in a certain area

4 large church bells blessed by a Catholic priest (he was absolutely delighted to be part of inconveniencing Maleficent, as he's been a victim of that hundred-year sleep,) as well as 8 small-ish ones

A couple dozen books on creating infrastructure (sewers, plumbing, electric grid, bridges, roads, telecommunication, water supply, etc.) They're hard to build now but it's better they already know what they're doing before they actually have to, as Maverick and the others pretty stubbornly insist on staying on the Isle after everything and seeing if they can make it work without be constantly sabotaged

Some tips on how to figure out what was wrong with their water supplies (rivers, lakes, etc,) so that Jasmine could start working with them to clean up the pollution in their water.

Veterinary rabies vaccines, five samples for every animal that can be vaccinated for rabies

Maverick is still preparing for a worst case scenario ("I expect the worst, so I prepare for the worst, so when the worst happens, I'm ready" and all that,) but she thinks, at the very least, these supplies and books can help them put it off or at least slow how rapidly it progresses. Jasmine is also considering sending livestock but, considering how nervous Maverick got about the idea (one of the cows had tried to attack Mordred and she is traumatized,) decided to put it off for a while to give the Isle time to recover from the idea of rabid cows.

And she's doubling, tripling, her efforts to get at least civilians off of the Isle. She can't take too many at once, knowing she would run the risk of collapsing the new systems she'd put in place, but she's trying. They're getting the children off first, because they're the ones who will be hit hardest by malnutrition and starvation, but the adults will follow as quickly as possible. Hopefully, by the time Beast realizes people are disappearing from the Isle at an alarming rate, they'll have at least gotten a half of the Isle's population evacuated. That'll make the lack of supplies easier on those who remain.

They're putting major plans in place to prevent or at least improve the future Maverick saw. And Jasmine is already drawing up plans for how she's going to make this all legal.

[mishacakes]

Hello, I'm making a magazine for a university project. I have a few questions:

What inspired you to make comics?

How were you inspired to make “Alice and the Nightmare”?

Apart from “Alice and the Nightmare”, do you plan to do more new stories?

Are you thinking about translating your comics into other languages to attract more audiences?

Have you participated in projects that are inside and/or outside of Hiveworks?

How do you feel that your comics are well received by the public?

Hi hi thanks for asking!! to answer, in order

I’ve been reading and making comics as long as I can remember. My first comic series i made when I was 8 years old of a stick figure princess beating up a dumb prince who keeps trying to rescue her, so you truly know i’ve Always Been Like This. I’d staple the pages together, baby’s first zine. I just never really stopped haha

Alice and the Nightmare happened cause I started drawing Alice in high school, and I liked her as a character so I kept drawing her. Edith came next, then Hatter, then other cast members, and I wanted to make a story for them. I’ve always loved Alice in Wonderland stuff, growing up on anime inspired by it, and it was fun to do my own take on it. As I researched Alice in Wonderland more it really made me fall in love with the classic book itself, which made me want to work on Alice and the Nightmare more. Now normally I’d say don’t make your high school story your first project, HOWEVER, “Alice” as it is now is sooooooo heavily edited and so far from where it started out over a decade ago. “Kill your darlings” is very real and it WORKS. Huge shoutout to my editor and dear friend @secondlina who’s so often saved my storytelling bacon <3

Of course!! I love storytelling and there’s so much I want to do! Light novels are something I really want to explore.

That’s not something I really think of? English is the only language I���m fluent in, so even if I wanted to I couldn’t. That’s up to Hiveworks and translators for if they think my work would benefit from having translations. However there have been fan translations of my work before which I think are cool!

Oh yea! I’m in two of the three Valor Anthologies (Bride of the Rose Beast being one), I’ve done a couple zines, short comics, Eldritch Darling, animated films in college (Panic and Bookaneer). I like having a wide variety.

Feels nice! It’s always a delight when someone tells me they love my work or it’s affected their life or how they view things. Comic making—and art as a career—is more often than not a lonely profession, so that human connection is always very special and lovely <3

Hope this helps! Best of luck with you magazine! Cheers!!

[nekrophoria]

Tell us your 3 fave OC ships and the song(s) or other media you associate with them. Pass this on to 3 others (on or off anon) and let's keep the game going!

Thank you so much for this ask! <3

Honestly this is hella hard to answer for me given that

a) I can't get myself to keep going with Volatile for some fucking reason so a lot of potential ships in my story aren't realized yet or worse the characters in it haven't even been properly introduced yet (kill me, I'm bad at this)

and b) I'm really not that good at this whole romantic ship thing I'm realizing, the relationships that I personally find the most interesting in my story are either platonic, friendships, parental, sibling like relationships...that kinda stuff.

There are very few ships that I have planned in Volatile at the moment. And a lot of them are kinda crack ships or ships that are completely doomed by the narrative aka me.

Then of course there's the fact that I would spoil the hell out of people by dabbling into ships that haven't been introduced yet so....eh.....

That being said, I don't know if I can really give a good answer to this, much less an answer that anyone reading this could actually follow or find interesting at this point in time x_x

Anywhoo...I'll try.

Let's start with Roland and Liz,which is like the only potential canon ship I have in Volatile at the moment xDD

(some spoilery pics cuz I feel like it)

I absolutely adore these two together but as of now I don't think they'll have a future unless I decide to do a major rewrite. Idk. We'll see,

Anyhoo...these songs always makes me think of them:

---------------------

Then my favourite Crack/AU ship, Mabon and Caspian (courtesy of @drawing-way-outside-the-lines)

They're not really a crack ship xD But I didn't really have the chance to develop them much just yet, so as of now they're just an outlet for more nsfw and edgy shit and a more unhinged Mabon who wouldn't really be in character in the canon universe.

I find their dynamic interesting though because I feel like they both see the worst parts of themselves in each other which validates them and their behavior in certain ways, but also causes them to low key despise each other. It's a picture book co-dependent relationship that could force them to confront parts of themselves that they'd probably much rather ignore.

They have a couple of songs that I relate to them but I feel like these sum up their relationship the best:

---------------------

Aaaand last but not least:

Mel and Simon

I am not entirely sure yet how this ship will evolve, again, since Simon hasn't even been introduced in Volatile yet despite him being present on my blog for quite some time now.

But I think they're cute af together, and they have the potential to do each other a lot of good or absolutely wreck each other . That's all I can say as of now.

They also get two songs

One from Simon's view:

One from Mel's view:

[s0ulsniper]

Teach me how

2012 Leo x gn!reader

Request:

"Hey!! Can I request a 2012 Leo x (GN)reader, please? With the prompts 18, 42, 51 and 2 in order please! If you need any more details on my request you can message me :))))"

Thank you so much for being my first request I love you bro <3

@milkachi2v

Note: I'm sorry bro this isn't my best work, I rushed this 🤟🏻😭

––––––––––––———

Lately, you have been getting into the arts a lot. Drawing was your newfound favorite thing. You've practiced a lot for the past couple of months, everywhere. So much so, that your teacher had to confiscate your notebook until the end of class. Usually it would've been your book, but now you've upgraded to a drawing notebook. 

Of course, Leo noticed the new obsession and loved seeing you so concentrated, starting a new drawing every two seconds and forgetting the last one. 

But the past couple of days you've been really into it. Spending almost the whole day in your room, music playing, and completely ignoring him.

He knows you didn't mean to but he also wants your attention. 

Especially now since his brothers are busy doing their own thing, so he can't just bother them.

Straight after school, he texted you to see if you were coming over.

Usually he walked down to the school to meet you and go back to the lair.

But this time you told him you couldn't, and that you were sorry because you were busy.

Leo, being Leo, already knows you aren't busy. So he decided to make his way to your house.

He knocked on your door, and obviously didn't get an answer, he could hear the music blasting from your room and knew you wouldn't hear him.

He makes his way back outside and climbs up the ladders, knocking on your window.

He saw you in your room, as focused as ever and knocked again.

He saw you look up a bit and jump when you saw him, laughing while doing so.

You quickly turned your music down and went over to open the window.

"What are you doing here Leo?" You ask in a confused tone.

"Really? Like you got anything to do." 

You roll your eyes and move for him to come in, making your way back to your fort of art supplies and pillows.

"I have got plenty to do." You answer back.

He laughs and sits down on your bed, making any room he could in your junkyard.

He let you be for a couple minutes, seeing if you would acknowledge his presence.

"Y/nnnn…" He whines hoping that would catch your attention.

To his expectation, you mumbled a "hm?" but didn't look up.

"Y/n cmonnn…"

"I'm busy Leo, I'm a full time worker." You mumbled. 

He sighs, thinking of anything else to get your attention.

His eyes light up and he chuckles when he finds a perfect plan.

He gets up, walks over to your fort and sits right next to you, almost on top of you.

You look up at him confused on why he looks like he's plotting, but just go back to the drawing.

He pays no attention to the drawing and starts poking you in your sides.

Immediately you jump, a shocked look on your face while trying to push his hand away.

"Stopp-"

"I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention." He answers while poking you.

You push his hand away but that doesn't stop him.

"Okay– okay quit !"

He pulls his hand away smiling and you try to regain your breath and rub your side.

You pick up your notebook on the floor and try to put it on your bed but Leo's hand on your wrist stops you.

"Is that a drawing of me?" He asks while analyzing the drawing.

"Yes dumbass– I mean almost the whole notebook is." You admit and he takes the notebook from your hands gently and flips through.

If he wasn't already red, looking through the book definitely did the trick.

"I– wow. These are amazing y/n." He says looking through, then closing the notebook and hugging you.

The force from the hug pushes you back and you two are just hugging on the floor, in comfortable silence for a while.

"Teach me how to do it." He asks, breaking the silence.

You smile and sit up patting next to you so he can sit closer.

You grab an empty notebook and pencil, handing it to him and open your own.

"Just follow my lines." You tell him and he nods.

You slowly sketch, looking over and making sure he's following.

You try this for a couple minutes, checking in every couple seconds.

You guys were sitting together, silent and drawing together.

"It's so hard to sit here so close to you and not kiss you." He blurts and immediately looks back at his paper.

I look over at him smiling and red, confusedly looking at him.

"Okay, then why haven't you?" You ask.

He looks up at you surprised.

"What?"

"You heard me Leo."

His smile shifts into a smirk and pulls you in immediately.

His hands rest on your hips after you shift to get comfortable in his lap.

When he pulls away, you look at him laughing.

"Damn, maybe I should start ignoring you more often."

He shakes his head and pulls you in closer to a hug.

"Absolutely not, I won't let that happen." He mumbles into the crook of your neck.

–—–—–—–—–

[excelsi-or]

summoned (pt. 8)

hi guys! i hope you're all doing well! i'm back from months of travelling and just in such a good headspace right now, it's kinda crazy. i'm writing and reading so much. drawing, more than i have in ages. sending you all my good energy, because this shit needs to be shared. and if your day is currently shitty, i hope that it gets better soon. i've been there; i feel you; this too shall pass.

pairing: woozi x fem!reader/fem!OC

w.c. 2k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

A couple hours later, Jihoon closes the book he's reading. It sounds as if the human's finally slowing down. Her angel-demon blood seems to give her ample amounts of energy if need be. When he tips his head back to look at her, she's stretching her arms over her head.

"Come here."

Jihoon gets up and stands beside her. There are at least three loose-leaf pages of faces and buildings. She spreads them out on her desk so that he can see all of them. 

"Talking about my mom's lack of a soul makes me agitated." She's rubbing the side of her hand. Initially, he thought it was because it was sore, but then he notices the pencil marks she's trying to buff out. "But these are for you. Angels and demons who have walked through my house and buildings that I've visited in the last few months." She pulls one sheet closer. "These buildings are the most prominent. We can visit them first." She points at him, finally meeting his eye for the first time in hours. "And you looked up where my mom's hospital is?"

"Yes."

She studies him as she gets to her feet. "Something more to say?"

"Your mom doesn't have a soul. You kinda blew over that."

Her expression is impossible to read. "I don't ask too many questions about either political hierarchy. They both seem just as corrupt as here." She ducks into her bedroom and reappears with her backpack over her shoulder, her hair tied in a bun, and a dark hoodie she hadn't been wearing moments ago.

"When my parents had me," she goes to refill her water bottle and Jihoon trails after her, "they both lost whatever souls they possessed. Can you grab some snacks?"

Jihoon grabs a handful from her pantry without question.

"My parents are now limited to a human lifespan. Essentially hollow shells with a short time limit. But Gabriel seems to think that they can negotiate Dad's soul back."

"So, he'd get to be an angel again when his human life is over," Jihoon states.

"That's what I understood." She pauses as she stuffs the bag with the snacks he'd collected. "All hypothetical." They go back to the desk. She pulls one of the pieces of paper towards them. They're sketches of her parents. 

Armed with new knowledge, Jihoon can see that she's captured the life that exists in her parents. But she's also caught the slight hollowness in them.

"Mom's obviously not going to get the same chance."

"Hell is not exactly a merit system."

She shakes her head, conversation over, and picks up the paper that has the industrial complex they'd visited sketched on it. "I think the best places to start are here."

"Good, I thought so as well."

"And then?" Considering how good the sketches are, Jihoon thinks she should be gentler with the paper as she shoves it into her bag. "What's your plan to save mankind?"

"That's not what we're doing."

"Isn't it?" She slips into her shoes. "My parents said that if the Final Day ever came then either angels or demons would win and that's how eternity would play out. So, having humans here means we're in a sort of limbo stage until the final battle happens and whatever whatever."

"I'm sure your parents are hoping it happens after you pass on." He opens the door for her.

She motions him through first so that she can close her door herself. "Yeah. They do."

"You have a soul?"

"Supposedly." They make their way to the elevator. "I never asked." She looks over at him as they wait. "You can't tell?"

Jihoon shakes his head. It's been a little unsettling.

She shrugs and gets on the elevator.

"That doesn't scare you?"

"I've met angels and demons. There's a demon following me around. Nothing to scare me anymore. If anything, maybe having no soul is a blessing considering the currency it holds."

Jihoon's car is waiting for them. It's so clean that the black paint is reflecting the sunshine.

She pushes out into the warmth, clearly giddy at the good weather. "For all I know, my consciousness disappears when I die. What if my soul is a completely separate entity?"

Jihoon doesn't answer as he climbs into the driver's side. "You're weird, human."

Despite the warmth outside, the inside of the car is cool. "I have a demon and angel for parents." She plugs the destinations into the navigation system. "No way I was going to come out normal."

"Have you memorized all the addresses?" Jihoon asks.

She waits for the car to process the new information. "Yes, actually."

"How often have you visited all these places?"

"A lot."

"Why?"

In her prolonged silence, Jihoon can tell she's crafting a deliberate response. "I could tell something was going on. And I would sometimes go back, wondering if I would ever get to know the story." She hits 'Go' and then puts her seatbelt on. "Figured if it was a problem, Seokmin or my parents would bring it up. Or... I don't know, the energies balancing Heaven and Hell would give me a helping hand."

"You knew I was a demon when you summoned me." Jihoon's question comes out more as a statement of fact.

"I can't say I was expecting for you to show up when I was ordering my coffee. I can't say I was expecting a demon with a moral compass either."

"So, you brought me here by a genuine accident, acted like you'd never met a demon in your life when you hang out with an angel constantly, and you weren't going to tell me."

"I thought you were going to get bored before I'd have to tell you." She kicks her shoes off and pulls her legs onto the seat, crossing them. "Enough about me. Why do you have a moral compass? I haven't met too many demons that have one."

Jihoon doesn't respond.

"Fall in love with a human? Enjoy the sins of humanity? Think the angels are going to win?" she guesses. She leans back in the seat, turning towards the window. "Hate change?"

Jihoon doesn't play into her game, and she seems content with that. She falls asleep in the silence. Not for the first time, he wonders what about him is so trustworthy to her that she lets herself fall asleep around him. Other demons could take advantage; in a human body, it would be very easy. Some would steal her soul in her sleep.

Either she's met enough demons to tell the difference, or she knows more about him than Jihoon thought he was letting on.

By the time they reach the first address, she's nearly slumped entirely over into the door. 

Jihoon's about to nudge her awake, but she snaps to alertness. It causes Jihoon to jump back in surprise.

One quick pass of both her hands through her hair and a deep breath, she looks as if she didn't just sleep for thirty minutes.

A parking spot opens up right across the street from the convenience store. The convenience store that currently has plumes of black smoke coming off it.

"You see it?" Jihoon asks.

She hums, fiddling with her seatbelt. "Yep. Now that I know what it means," she huffs, "you're on your own."

"Nope. I need your human scent to mask mine."

"What?"

As patiently as he can muster, he says, "I can easily pick out angels and demons, but humans have a stronger scent. I'm assuming there are going to be demons here with all of that," he waves towards the convenience store, "happening." Jihoon gets out of the car and holds his hand out to her when she joins him on his side.

She frowns. "I'm not stupid."

"I can only take on your peculiar scent if I'm holding onto you."

"What kind of absolute—"

Jihoon rolls his eyes and holds his hand up between them. She watches it burn red and then stares at him in confusion.

"Other than trying to scare me, what was that supposed to accomplish?"

Jihoon yawns. "Think of it like a refractory period before my hand heats up again."

Without further protest, she grabs onto his hand. Due to the burning of his skin, he can't feel hers. But the rest of his arm feels the strength of her tug as she pulls him across the street towards the convenience store.

She pushes the door open and calls, "Mrs. Han! Are you in?"

An older woman walks out and breaks out into a wide smile. "I haven't seen you in ages, darling! How have you been?"

Jihoon senses the angel and stands slightly behind to keep his scent away. She leads the way forward, chattering on. She motions towards Jihoon. "This is my... my boyfriend." The title comes out through grit teeth.

The older woman's eyes widen. "Boyfriend? Now, I thought that other boy was your boyfriend!"

Jihoon wonders why this angel needs to shout every sentence.

"Hansol's just a friend," she laughs. "You know he's interested in Ara."

The angel nods thoughtfully. "Ah, yes! Ara's been asking if you two have been around! She says she hasn't seen you guys drawing the flower shop!"

Laughing, she pulls Jihoon to her other side so he can see more of the store. "We're working on this big mural downtown. Not much time to come and explore this area."

"How's your father?"

She tips her head both ways, watching Jihoon out of the corner of her eye. She can see the smoke coming from the back office. "He's fine. Gabe was around recently."

"Ah, discussing his soul situation, hmm?"

She nods. "Yeah. Anyway, we're just in to grab a few snacks. Going to do a little road trip today."

"Is that so?"

Mrs. Han ducks down behind the counter for a box. She places it on the counter. "Here, take your pick! I'm testing some new products! I want to know what the young people are into these days!"

Jihoon refuses to get any closer, but also refuses to let go of her hand. His hand is starting to warm, which means they're running out of time. But she leans over the box and picks out a couple. "I'll come back with Hansol and let you know what I think of them."

"And tell your father that if he can find Shakespeare's first folio to let me know!"

"Yes, ma'am." She stifles her laugh at Jihoon looking away to wince at Mrs. Han's loud volume. 

"You can call me when you're ready to pay, darling!" The angel returns to her office, passing through the black smoke. Apparently unfazed.

Jihoon drags her to the opposite end of the store near the coolers with drinks in them. She pulls open one of the fridges and peers at her options. "She's an angel."

"Yeah. The guardian angel of the florist next door," she says.

"The one that Hansol has a crush on?"

"Yeah."

"The smoke is coming from her office," Jihoon states, peering over the shelves at the open doorway. "Or what I assume is the office."

"What kind of drinks do you like, Ji?" she asks.

The look on Jihoon's face can only be described as disgust. His stomach flips in a way he doesn't like, his heart getting uncomfortable, and his body uncomfortably warm.

A small smile quirks her lips, which only causes Jihoon's frown to deepen. Her voice drops as she whispers, "Her hearing is very selective, gotta act somewhat normal. And I told her you were my boyfriend."

"Yeah, why did you say that?"

"Drink?"

Jihoon stares into the fridge. "The red one."

"Because we're holding hands. I have a lot of guy friends. I don't hold their hands." She passes him two drinks, which he manages to hold in his one free hand. "Also, you're starting to burn, so we don't have much time in here."

"I need to know what's back there."

She stares at him in disbelief and then holds up their intertwined between them. "I can't exactly keep her distracted and go back there."

Jihoon huffs, and then he frowns again. For a different reason. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but we probably need that angel of yours."

They make their way back to the counter. He grabs two random packs of chips on the way down the aisle.

"Mrs. Han! We're ready to go!"

part 9

[go-to-the-mirror]

Weaver time! I really do like this episode. If I'm being honest I like every episode - bar a couple stranger ones in season 3, they just weren't scary to me - so that isn't much of a surprise, but it's a pretty good one.

I'm also pretty tired, so... yeah? After this I'm going to go to sleep.

@a-mag-a-day

The concept of free will gets me pretty excited so enjoy the words!

This includes: love of Jon Sims, looking at Jon's life through the lens of "this guy ADHD", cat photo, musings on free will (good words), how are the tapes turning on, what does Annabelle mean about the statement summaries, musings on what the web is and "The Spider & The Eye" by pocketsizedquasar propaganda, discussion of Enid Blyton books, among other things.

DAISY (Quietly) Perhaps they bugged out. ARCHIVIST Was that a joke?

Asjdjshfhsjh I love him so much your honour. I want to shake him a little bit.

MELANIE I'm fine. Uh, a-and please don't call me Mel. DAISY What? Since when? MELANIE Always. I’m trying to be more open about this stuff.

Hnhrnhrh Melanie my absolute beloved <3 I'm glad she's getting better, that's good for her, you know. Being ok is really great actually.

ARCHIVIST I'm sure the flares will work fine. I mean, unless it's all some elaborate plot to have us burn this place down again. BASIRA So what if it is? ARCHIVIST I don’t follow. BASIRA I mean, anything we do could be part of the grand master plan. So, what, we do nothing? Just sit on our hands and hope that's not what the spiders want?

Jon's either incredibly impulsive or incredibly indecisive, which... A) Attention Deficit Hyperativity Disorder (the name is a misnomer, not a deficit, etc, i mean he's adhd though) and B) I mean like... that's sort of partially why he ended the world? I mean like grabbing this kid, dead parents, granny doesn't care about him - and yknow, a shitty childhood affects you, and with this Extra trauma, he'll be alienated from other people, due to the mundane things and because... you can't tell anyone about the spooky stuff.

And then he's already probably predisposed to be impulsive, to not think things through, and then ADHD it's... not a Great Time. Because of other people. You know, you're either too much or not enough, no one's ever going to like you so why try. With him it's like "I was an annoying child." "I was hardly an easy child to deal with." Like, not to sound like a broken record, but I see myself in that. It's not always malicious, but yeah, when you're always too much, too loud, too annoying, you internalize it, think there's something wrong with you, cut people off, don't... try.

Like, Elias's plan sort of depended on the Archivist and the Archival Assistants being... isolated. No one'll notice, or care when they die, or go missing, or change. And, I mean, yeah. He was pretty much alone. Is it an ADHD thing to have no best friends? Is it an ADHD thing to never wonder why you're alone? Like, he was closest with his assistant, who he suspected of murder, and his ex-girlfriend who he hadn't talked to in years. His work-life balance was terrible since before he discovered he'd work for life. Also ADHD ppl usually have a higher rate of substance abuse and addiction, because of the whole less dopamine thing.

This is getting so bloody off topic. Jon's combination fear of being manipulated and his impulsivity and inability to think things through, in addition to all the other things detailed above make him a great candidate for ending the world.

Sasha's too friendly, and we don't know enough about her to really draw any conclusions about how good of a (spooky) Archivist she'd be. I'd say she'd be a better mundane archivist but none of those people had anything even resembling a library science degree, and she was stapling things. Apparently you're really not supposed to staple things.

Melanie, I think, would be a great (spooky) Archivist, mostly because she's so similar to Jon. What with the whole chasing after War Ghosts thing, and being pretty prickly, and I think that she could have been an Archivist, Archivist!Melanie guys, come on, think about the possibilities! Also this leaves the door open for Flesh!Jon and I fucking love Flesh!Jon, but now is really not the time to get into that.

ARCHIVIST Yep. Official Institute paper and everything.

Official institute paper should be available as merch smh.

WHAT IF THEY HAVE PENS?? DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE OFFICIAL INSTITUTE PENS? THEYVE GOT TO RIGHT? OH THE POSIBILITIES OF NOVELTY STATIONARY!!

Free will is a funny old thing, isn’t it, Jon? Can I call you Jon? I’m going to call you Jon.

I mean, hey! It's an improvement on the other Avatars! He gets to be called a name! Lovely jubbly!

With any other animal, we talk about instinct, we talk about training. Perhaps, if we have spent enough time with them, we talk about personality. But we never talk about choice. We never look at a dog racing wildly after a thrown ball and think, ‘What an odd decision that dog has made.’

My cat, Marble, chases after things like a dog. He's so odd /pos, I love him so much.

Cat Anecdote (Catecdote?): Ereyesterday, early in the morning - so early to be basically still the day before - Marble climbed onto my bed and lay right beside me, and as I stroked him I realized how small he was - Marble's a mainecoon so he's a LOOONG cat - but, I realized that he's still just a cat, and as he purred as I fell asleep, I knew that I loved him more than anything else in the world. I love him so much.

[ID: A photo of a cat, sitting down with one paw raised, looking at something above the camera. He's a tabby maincoon, and is dark brown, light brown, and grey. His legs are mostly dark brown, his stomach grey, and the rest of his body a mix of dark brown and light brown. /End ID]

Look I had to include a photo of him. Sorry, this was so irrelevant.

Of course, people are so very different from dogs. Our brains are larger, more complex; so many more little factors and wrinkles to push us and pull us. But does any of it actually constitute free will? Free of what? We all have forces that drive us, circumstances that direct us, and even if we choose to ignore these and act against all logic just to prove that we can, is that not simply allowing the existential terror of our own powerlessness to control us instead?

!!!

Look, okay, if someone knew everything, knew everything about you and everyone else and the world and everything, then theoretically, they would be able to know exactly what you'd do. We're all pushed and pulled by forces in our lives, no matter how unpredictable you are, there's always an underlying reason, and if there isn't... well there's your reason.

I was baking a while back, and thinking about this episode, and I realized that every moment in my life had lead to me, standing in the kitchen, thinking about The Magnus Archives, and looking for some kind of measuring cup, and I realized that whatever decision I made, if I took one from the drawer, or from the dishwasher, or left the kitchen entirely, that choice was not my choice, none of them were, my whole life has been preordained from the very beginning, not in some fate way, but in that everyone is affected by the circumstances around us, and this just makes what happened happen?

Yes, we're responsible for our own choices, but are they really our choices? If knowing everything makes them not - which I believe, it makes sense - then they are and were never our choices, free will is ignorance.

Not only can free will and omniscience not coexist, but free will has never existed, it's just a lie we tell ourselves, because it makes sense to us. Why am I lying on my bed typing this out? Because I wanted to. But no. It's because Sixteenthdays wrote The Hermit Archives AU, it's because my sister got into an unspecified university, it's because Ashes started a mag a day, it's because the pandemic happened, it's because I was curious about hermitcraft fandom demographics, it's because I have a computer, it's because of so many things, and none of those things were done randomly either. I presume Sixteenthdays is writing THA because they like both TMA and MCYT. A mag a day was started because The Magnus Archives was created, because the mods wanted to re-experience the community created from the episodes initial airing. My sister got into the unspecified university because we moved to unspecified country. And that's only a fraction of the factors that lead to me, here, talking about these factors.

Terrifying to think about, isn't it!

He ultimately decides that, if all the millions upon millions of factors and influences that weigh upon our choices were fully and completely known, then all could be foreseen and predetermined. But, he argues, it is quite impossible for the human mind to comprehend even a fraction of these, and in that vast, dark space of ignorance lies ‘free will’.

Come onnn Jonny, we had an omniscient character who's bloody terrified of being out of control, I really really do wish that we'd gotten more of this sort of thing in season 5.

Like I get why not, his omniscience has limits, we're more focused on other things, but there was a missed opportunity there, I feel.

Where would it fit in? Idk!

I think that one probably comes down to whether or not you’re choosing to continue reading this statement out loud. You didn’t mean to, did you? No, I’m sure you told Basira and Melanie that you were going to glance it over and report back. Perhaps they asked you if you were going to record it and you shook your head. “Maybe later.” That sounds like the sort of thing you’d say.

!!!!!!!!! oh boy!!

Do you think that's... exactly what he said? Because I think it's exactly what he said and he's just like Oh Boy!

But think about it, Jon, when’s the last time you were able to read a statement quietly to yourself without instinctively hitting record and speaking it aloud? Is it just instinct, habit? Or is it a compulsion, a string pulled by the Ceaseless Watcher or the Mother-of-Puppets? Or both?

That raises the question - are the tapes turning on by themselves, or is Jon (and by extension Martin and co.) turning them on unconsciously. The Web has shown an ability to... distract... people what with Jon and his lighter. Jon's also been shown to forget to turn tapes off a lot of the time, and Tim did mention that Jon was just reaching for the tape recorder when they were talking (MAG 98). I feel like that's actually more plausible to me than them just... turning on by themselves. The Web's all manipulation and stuff. Alternatively, it's Annabelle Cane hiding under Jon's desk /j.

I know the summaries have started to confuse you. Where do they come from when you read a statement fresh? How do you just sort of know what it’s about before you even start to read it? But by then, you’re away, the rollercoaster is dropping and you’ve no real choice but to hold on and hope that I don’t crash you.

I'm guessing this is referring to statements that haven't been read before, like MAG 123 - Web Development. That raises the question, though, what about the statement of Hazel Rutter? I mean, he obviously didn't know what was going to be inside that, and The Eye can't lie.

Actually, I think Elias, you know, he just put the summary there so it wasn't one of the spooky ones, but like he's already... tied in by the point where he's reading the summary. No turning back, already too deep.

Also that line, just, "hope that I don't crash you." Hmm. Oh, Jon, there really was no way to avoid it.

Of course, I learned many of my skills from my mother, who could wield guilt like a rapier and anger like a scalpel. She never simply screamed at you. She was always aware of exactly what kind of fury or disappointment was needed to make sure you regretted ever catching her attention.

Sure! Did Annabelle grow up to... sort of be a part of The Web? Yes, she did. Sure, maybe it's manipulative, but you know what? I've been called manipulative, I've been worried I'm manipulative, and if The Eye can be the fear of being both Watcher and Watched, The Slaughter the fear of the one getting hurt and the one hurting, The End the fear of the one who stays alive forever and the one who knows when they will die, then The Web can be the fear of the one being manipulated and the one afraid of being a manipulator.

She might not have been afraid, sure. What we know of Annabelle's childhood is from the perspective of her fundamentally changed - in more than just the regular way - from that. We just don't know what she was feeling before, we barely know anything about her.

Just read "The Spider & The Eye" by pocketsizedquasar, it's really good, the first lines of the summary live in my mind rent free.

Annabelle Cane has a choice to make. (Annabelle Cane is not sure what choice is anymore).

Like! Aa! Sahar has great words.

She had eight children, yet weaved that life around herself in such a way that she always seemed both the victim of it, yet curiously divorced from any responsibility. In many ways, she was the victim, at least of my father, whose pathological absence spoke of a man who had no interest whatsoever in engaging with the life where he had trapped his family.

Uh nothing to say, just highlighting it. Hmnhrnh good words.

My biggest attempt to assert some form of influence over my family was when I decided to run away.

I've actually packed a bag to run away before and let it be known I was much worse at packing than Annabelle asjdssjfg

and the only book I could say belonged to only me: Five Go Down to the Sea.

I was always more fond of The Five Find-Outers and Dog, and The Adventurous Four, though I did like The Famous Five. I also really liked Mallory Towers. George from The Famous Five is definitely the reason I'm trans.

I will simply say that when a spider reaches a certain size, it is not entirely made up of spider anymore.

Hey, what the fuck does this mean! :D

So, how much free will was involved in that story? What could I have chosen to change? Would a different path have been possible? I felt no loss of control – no puppet strings guided me – and yet the Mother got exactly the result she no doubt wanted, one that would lead to a fear of spiders so acute that would later have that horror focused and refined into a silk-spun apotheosis.

Isn't it more terrifying to not know for sure whether you're being controlled or not? To be frozen in terror and indecision, unsure of which action you will willingly take will be the one they want you to take?

The Mother is the fear of manipulation and lost control made manifest, so perhaps it is our fear that projects her influence on everything that happens, like the mind retrospectively assigning reason to our actions, so we fit whatever occurs into the neatest pattern we can and declare her web both intricate and complete.

But, the mind of the dreamer affects the dream, so perhaps she wasn't weaving her own web, but the fear of her weaving her web made it so she could and did! Aaaa I love this podded cast!

Or perhaps I am simply telling you what you need to hear in order to behave exactly as the Mother wishes you to. Perhaps I have never even seen a beach.

THAT ENDING!!! OH WOW THATS A GREAT ENDING!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! JUST dont dont drop the mic it'll damage it, BUT DO SOMETHING TO A SMILIAR EFFECT!

(Shaken) That was, uh… I d-didn’t like that. I couldn’t…

Fuck, dude, he really is shaken.

Ahhh it's only going to get... worse.

I can’t say I’m sad to have another ally allegedly on our side, but I don’t like the idea of being important to The Web. That’s a really bad place to be.

IT SURE IS! Aaaaaa... :(

Annabelle’s right, though. I mean, I can’t trust anything she says to not be another lie to further manipulate and manoeuvre us, but deep down, I think she’s right. What I’ve been doing to these people, it hasn’t been because I was puppeted or controlled or possessed. I wanted to do it. It felt good. But at least I know I can stop. I just... don’t know how. I don’t want to stop.

Hey, I mean! Good for him right, he has all these people around him to help! They're going to be nice about it and not threaten him with murder, right!

Right?

No but, I mean, I'm not really, I don't really feel right talking about this, I don't have any experience related to it, I'm just pointing to it. Great words! Yeah!

Well, that's been a little ramble! Hope you enjoyed the cat picture if nothing else. He really is the light of my life. See y'all tomorrow I guess?