#I have never ever in my life cared about what a youtuber has looked like ever

[helpmyinterestsareverywhere]

I started a comfort movie watch party the other day and I finally got round to finishing The LEGO Ninjago Movie again and GOSH <3 I love her so much I forgot how much it means to me she's actually so special <333

[jrwiyuri]

I’m always so fascinated by fan culture.. is there like genuine research on why people act the way they do to normal human beings.

[lady-raziel]

long reaction to the update

ok. so they put out an update video! since i've been commentating for the last three days i might as well subject you all to more of my thoughts today.

main takeaway: this was a good apology video. i mean it. short and to the point, no overproduction, heartfelt and honest (and not a ukelele to be seen. thank god.) they took ownership of the situation, apologized, and restated how much they value their relationship with the fandom.

their solution is to make the watcher tv platform into kind of an iteration of patreon where content is available for early access before it is released onto youtube later. this is clearly a better option than paywalling everything for everyone. i'm not sure what the relative breakdown of costs turns out to be when you compare how much they were making on patreon after the platform took their cut VS how much it costs in overhead to run and maintain their own platform (how much it costs annually to contract via Vimeo, essentially). but i'm sure that's part of the calculation.

all things considered, that does seem like the best option out of all the alternatives. it allows them to not completely abandon any of the pans they have simmering over the fire for the time being. i don't think i ever thought they were going to just say "oops, forget about the streaming thing! let's pretend that never happened!" because at this point they've invested quite a lot of time and money into it, and i don't disagree that keeping it in some iteration may help them make up some of the funds they're lacking.

i would say, it's fine to keep the streamer. this is one of the ok outcomes, all things considered-- but if they're going to do it, they've GOT to do it smart from this point forward. listen to both the fans and the consultants intimately. both are going to have valid points, and both are going to be right. listening to too much of either side will sink this thing because each has motives and expertise that the other doesn't. if the fans say $6 is too much, listen to them-- but have conversations with business consultants about how much you realistically need to charge to make things work.

also, i'd use this whole situation as a learning experience. watcher is a young company, and it's literally inevitable that mistakes will happen. what's different is that the watcher crew haven't really been in a position before where they've been on the receiving end of the internet-angry-justice-hammer to this extent. it's one thing to watch it happen to others, but it's a position of extreme privilege (and a bit of hubris) to think "but that won't happen to me, because i'm built different." naw, man-- two things in life are inevitable: death and fuckups. the callout posts get us all in the end.

what's really important is that they use this as a wakeup call that even the most loyal fandoms will only follow you so far to the cliff's edge, and you don't want to push that. you have to strike a balance between the passion projects that you think are worthy and the stuff that maybe doesn't excite you as much anymore but the people want to see. a little fanservice keeps the lights on, as unfair as that might seem. i'm gonna make 50 markiplier choccy milk memes just so i can make one niche political joke once and a while for 6 likes. it is what it is.

i'd also use this as a chance to take a very careful look at company structure and finances. it's not fun to do and nobody likes it. trust me-- this is hard whether you're a single adult trying to pay the bills or the freaking US government (speaking from experience on both-- i have to read the president's budget for work frequently). but you all have to ask hard questions about the ratio of creative staff you take on VS staff for administrative and other business roles, as well as the costs and benefits of everything you spend money on. how many staff members are essential to location shoots? can this video be shot with 2 cameras instead of 3 and thus you don't need another cameraperson? you might even have to come to the decision that instead of pitching a new show it makes more sense to use those funds to hire your essential non-creative roles or contract firms or freelancers.

paying staff a fair wage with benefits speaks highly of what watcher wants their values to be. it's hard to find such a position in a creative role and still actually get to work on things you care about. but it would be much worse if watcher didn't make realistic decisions about finances and it lead to the death of the company and everyone losing their jobs. the whole watcher company can work, in my opinion, but not without some sacrifices. they're going to have to run it more like a business and less like a youtube-channel-turned-business in the future if they want to survive.

last thing i'll add is that while i do think this was a good apology video, i still think they hurt themselves by not putting out some sort of statement on Friday or Saturday just to say that they were formulating a response. As i've said in other posts, it's ok and in fact beneficial to not make a kneejerk reaction, but it's also very important to communicate that you SEE what's happening. you SEE what people are saying and THAT'S why you need more time to respond. saying nothing and leaving the angry public to wonder if you dropped your phone off the Hoover Dam or just don't care? that's a fumble. it's a common mistake companies make in a crisis, but that doesn't mean it doesn't erode trust fast.

this could have been handled better in many ways. we see that, and i'm glad watcher says they see that too. crucial going forward is taking all this and patching the errors that caused all this to fall apart and learning from the experience.

tbh at this point what i'm most sad about is that the watcher crew have probably been too stressed out and upset to appreciate some of the absolute bangers people have been laying down to clown on them. i think if it wasn't about them they might be touched by the collective attitude and creative spirit. /j

[sociopathicartist]

In case I don’t tell you enough, I love you.

a letter from sans directed to you, his lover.

y/n,

it’s been five years since monsterkind was freed from the surface.

it’s been four years since i’ve met you.

it’s april, and i’m still missing you.

maybe it’s stupid of me to miss you considering that i left your house only a few hours ago, and i’m laying in bed writing this on some loose paper i found on my floor while i think of you.

weirdly enough, the silence in my room is now unsettling compared to how calming it used to be. i guess the fan in your room blowing wind on your bed that i’ve yet to see turned off has grown on me. or maybe it’s the rain sounds you always have playing on your tv that clash with the fan that grew on me.

or maybe it’s you that's grown on me.

sometimes when i have a nightmare or i can't sleep i play fan and rain sounds on youtube to help me rest, not even thinking consciously about it anymore. it always just makes me feel like i’m back in bed with you with my eyes closed, waiting for you to come back from the kitchen with the glass of water that you wanted.

i wish that i could sum it up and say i can't find the words to describe how i feel, but that’s a lie. i know exactly how i feel about you.

tracing my phalanges along the little scars and nicks of your skin when i’m next to you never fails to entertain me. neither does running my hand through your hair, or twisting the rings on your fingers, or kissing you quickly for the 1000th time. i never thought i would be fond of that sort of stuff, i never thought i was a guy for any sort of romance.

i guess i just never realized that all i needed was the right person to give it to me. all i needed was you.

i’m not the best writer. even my lab logs from the rare times when i help alphys with her scientific tests are messy and short out. it’s almost like having all these thoughts about you is starting to eat me alive. i guess i have nowhere else to put them but on a piece of paper. if we ever get married one day like i hope we do, i’d like to give this to you. who knows when that will be though, so i guess this letter will just sit in one of my drawers collecting dust until i can give it to you. it kinda sucks to think about the fact that these words might never reach you, but that’s the way life is. it sucks most of the time.

i get this weird sinking feeling in my ribs near where my soul rests sometimes. it’s mostly when i think about how i miss you. sometimes my hand reaches up and brushes up and down my shoulder blade when i’m lying in bed alone, mimicking the motion that your hand does to me all the time when we lay together. i don’t even notice it happens anymore, but when i do and i realize you’re not actually there, that’s when that weird sinking feeling happens. it also happens on the rare thought of you not being in my future one day, even though i know that won't happen. i know you wouldn’t leave me.

i can’t help but wonder what this feeling was before i met you, and why i never got it.

was i just empty all the time?

even though i remember in great detail why my depression was so bad back then, back before i met you, i guess these happy years with everyone have slowly washed away that feeling. i felt so horrible for so long, and i didn’t care to ever try and get better because there was no point back then, but for some reason whenever i try to think of what was there in my life that i had like this, it’s almost numbed away from my memories. it’s like a bad nightmare that got washed away with the morning light.

that’s not to say i’m not thankful and glad i’m doing better now. sure, i’m still working things out, but who isn’t? i don’t think i wouldn’t have ever actually gotten help if it wasn’t for you, though. you’re really the only person who's ever seen me so clearly. i love how i don’t even have to tell you if something is wrong anymore, you just look at me and know. did you know that i’ve never had anyone take the time to notice the small difference between my genuine smile versus my resting and permanent one? the day you pointed that out to me was the day i realized i liked you.

i also thought it would take me a while to realize when i liked someone seriously. i think the last time i ever had a crush was… actually, i can’t remember. in the movies and books, it’s always the same scenario of ‘i like you but i haven’t liked anyone before so i don’t realize i like you until it’s too late’ but that wasn’t the case. i knew the moment i liked you.

it was this odd twinge in me that just kinda sprung throughout my bones. i think it’s the same equivalent of getting butterflies in your stomach, but without a stomach. i noticed your looks before, and i guess this sounds weird to say, but it was like after so long of friendship that i actually… noticed you.

you looked so beautiful, and you still do.

the shock at work and from other people was really funny when they found out we were dating. i don’t think they ever actually thought i’d find someone to settle down with. our friends knew better though. as shocked as our friends tried to act, it was pretty obvious that they were expecting it. i can’t believe it was that obvious that we liked each other.

there’s no big resolution to writing this. i just felt like writing it so that i could share the feelings i feel about you but that i forget to say when we are around each other. it’s not like i can get a single word in with how much you smooch on me though. not that i mind.

it’s not to say that if my puns ever get too much for you, or if you decide that i’m too lazy and you feel like you can’t leave, you can. i just really don’t want you to. i have a strong feeling that you don’t ever want to leave either.

i can’t wait to see how the rest of our lives turn out together. when we move in, get married, and just enjoy each other’s time. i know it’s crazy to hear from me, but i can’t wait to do the dishes with you and put away the laundry as you fold it. i can’t wait to enjoy your company every day one day. i know it’s a bit selfish, but i hope that things stay like this forever.

i hope that you get to read this one day, and in case i don’t tell you enough, i love you.

[dragonlands]

There's so much negativity around Izzy's death so I wanted to address some of the points I keep seeing thrown around.

"Izzy's death was pointless"

No, he just had his big speech about how basically they can kill him but they cannot kill the movement. That is a clear paraller to a lot of real life protestors of unjustice. He died protecting the community, he died so the community could go on.

"Izzy's death made his healing pointless"

No it didn't. Healing is always good, feeling happiness and belonging are ALWAYS worth it. We never know how long we've got, doesn't mean we gotta stop trying to be better or happier. His healing was still real. It still mattered.

"Izzy's character arc was left unfinished, it's bad writing"

Oh my god. If you open any writing guide about how to write impactful deaths, and the first thing that comes up is to leave some part of their arc unfinished. And his arc did go through quite a beautiful line, sure there could've been more but his story didn't end like, mid arc. As a writer, of course you want to make the audience sad when a character dies. It's good storytelling. Good stories are supposed to make us feel.

"Izzy died on the arms of his abuser"

Where the hell did this idea come from? Ed and Izzy have been in a toxic codependent relationship way before this show started. You could argue that Izzy was Ed's abuser, but that is not the argument I want to make here. Yes, we saw Ed driven to madness shoot Izzy on screen, but we know Izzy's the one that forced him to be Blackbeart when he didn't want it anymore. There's turmoil all around them. But the final moment is them finally meeting as people, not as components of Blackbeard.

"Izzy's death was unnecessarily awful"

His death was sad, yes, but it was quite beautiful as far as deaths go. He was surrounded by family who cared for him. He was loved, and accepted as he is. He knew his legacy will be carried on.

"They killed off the only character that showed us healing is never too late"

Did we watch the same show? That begins with then unhappy 40+ year old Stede deciding it's finally time to reach for his dreams? Where we see Blackbeard slowly gaining back his humanity? Where Black Pete starts off as toxically masculine dude but ends up in a soft gay marriage? Where most of the crew wanted to mutiny but then they realized being soft is good, actually. Jim's whole purpose in life being revenge but them learning to let that go and instead concentrate on love and fun and family. And so on. Izzy's arc is beautiful, but he's not the only person healing who thought it was too late already.

"Izzy's death was bury your gays trope"

No, what, no. In a pirate show where everyobody is queer some queer people will die. Bury your gays is about only having one or few queer characters and killing them off while the straights get their happily ever afters. This is so far from that.

Also, I want people to be aware of the phenomenon, where creators of diverse shows are subjected to more critism than those of non diverse shows. If this intrests you, Sarah Z on Youtube made a great video on it called Double standards and diverse media. Our flag means death has given us so much, queer love story with a happily ever after, finding community, nonbinary character. And the creators have always been so kind to fans, so let's show them tht kindness back. Because critizicing this one aspect can easily turn to seeming like the whole story is just unwanted. That stories like Ed and Stede's aren't worth telling. And I'm so aftraid that will happen, when just now for the first time in years we are finally getting queer stories.

Also, I understand people are sad. I am sad too - Izzy was an amazing character and his death was sad but that's just. Good writing. You can grieve, but trying to turn it into a moral or dramaturgy issue is just not a good look. And attacking the creators of this wonderful show is just horrible.

Remember - this fandom is a safe space ship 🏴‍☠️🏳️‍🌈

[therealsquiddo]

can we get like a thing of how you see lifesteal!squiddo ?

( as in stuff about what happened with the nuke, how they thought ash was gonna kill them and was okay with it, yk^_^ )

Sure :)

When it comes to Lifesteal Squiddo- or any character on any SMP- you have to consider the doylist perspective (out of universe) versus the watsonian perspective. (In-universe)

Lifesteal Squiddo is just a very dramatized version of my real life self... Like, how in real life when something mundanely bad happens, you might exaggerate and mime fainting for a laugh; that's what Lifesteal Squiddo is. I do that because it's entertaining and it's my job to entertain you. When something bad happens, I don't care, it's just our jobs- but to Lifesteal Squiddo it's the end of the world. When something good happens, I'm probably pretty happy, but to Lifesteal Squiddo it's the greatest thing ever.

With the nuke, the entire time I was thinking "How can I work this into a video? This will be a dramatic plot twist, people will like this..." and that sort of thing. But to Lifesteal Squiddo there is no Youtube, so she was just angry.

In real life, on my first day on Lifesteal, I didn't really understand that it was sort of a roleplay thing because I'd never properly played on an SMP before. So, I was nice to Ashswag because he'd added me to the server and I felt like I was in his debt, plus I wanted him to be on my team or whatever. But then I ended up with a character who had been nice to Ashswag for no reason, and I'm like, "okay, maybe he's their hero or something. Maybe they look up to him. Maybe she sees something in him that nobody else does". Squiddo was okay with Ashswag killing her because she was so ashamed that she'd disappointed somebody who she so badly wanted to befriend. In real life, I was okay with it because it meant I finally had an excuse to log off lifesteal to go to sleep ahaha

Although, I actually was happy when Ashswag gave me hearts, I really did think he was going to kill me. I'm glad I get to keep playing. I couldn't sleep that night because I kept smiling... That's probably the only time Lifesteal Squiddo and myself have felt the exact same thing

Anyway, with the election stuff, I thought the entire thing was brilliant!! I'm so so happy that 4CVIT and Red won, especially after I dropped that horrible video about him (which, please don't actually believe it's real!!) I just kept thinking, he's going to get such an insanely good video from this. For Squiddo though, from a doylist perspective, Ashswag voting Mapic and then banning me/her is him drumming up suspense. It's our job, he's good at his job, it makes sense. But from a watsonian perspective, Ashswag has suddenly switched up on Squiddo for absolutely no reason, which is going to make her very sad. Hopefully that explains it well enough!

[myoddessy]

out with the old, in with the new | w2s/harry lewis

summary —new accounts, new lifestyle, new clubs every night. an insight into just what—and who—youtube's non-youtuber it girl got up to during her split from harry

*once again following the lead of @whoetoshaw and her bog universe's iconic breakup era ALSO, one of the twitter threads is rlly grainy and I'm sorry abt that, i couldn't properly fix it so you have to just zoom in on it 😭

2023, January

2018, July.

liked by zoeleonards, taliamar, masonmount, and 11, 824 others

yourusername lay all your love on me 🌻🍹☀️

tagged: zoeleonards, chloemitchells

zoeleonards london reality, greece fantasy 💔😞

yourusername ibiza couldn't come sooner!

wroetominter OMGOMG IVE DREAMED ABOUT YOU RETURNING TO SOCIAL MEDIA

ynfan omg shes glowing 🤩🤩

chloemitchells mykonos has never looked better 🤤😍😘

yourusername love u, lover girl 😘😘 ❤️❤️

2018, August.

liked by chloemitchells, tobjizzle, leahwilliamson, and 20,349 others

yourusername snuck behind a dj booth and had a blast, had a few more shots than I should've, fell more in love with my girls. ibiza, you will forever be famous 🍾✨️

zoeleonards it was nice having the hotel room to just myself and Chloe for a bit x 🤣🤭

ynfangirl DOES THIS MEAN THE MASON MOUNT RUMOURS ARE TRUE??

chloemitchells @ynfangirl who's that? never heard of him 🤷‍♀️

ynloverrrr it HAS to be true

freyanightingale beautiful girl ❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

sidemenfav the way that her, freya, and talia still like each others posts and support each other 💔

liked by yourusername, taliamar, and freyanightingale

ynandharry tobi likes every one of her posts, too. they really are family no matter what 😭

2019, January

liked by pierregasly, zerkaa, mabel, and 30,568 others

yourusername we're able to have semi-classy girls trips, who knew?

tagged: zoeleonards

chloemitchells gutted I couldn't make it, I miss u two beautiful girls 😭❤️

yourusername CHLO!!! it wasn't the same without you, babe xx

zoeleonards I missed placing bets on who y/n was gonna make a move on 💔

yourusername IM NOT THAT BAD ZOË JESUS

chloemitchells yeah, give her some slack... it's usually placing bets on who's gonna make a move on her 😉

ynfanpage queen we need tips on how to live our best lives because you are teaching us all rn

yourusername 1) the only long term relationship you need to focus on is the one with yourself. 2) surround yourself with people you love and support & who will love and support you. 3) learn to not give a fuck what anyone else things because everyone's too busy in their own heads to care ❤️❤️

taliaminterr how is your life so aesthetic?? irl gossip girl vibes!!

yourusername babe trust my life doesn't look like this day to day, I only show the fun bits. rn it's 4am and I've got four day old greasy hair, dried mascara under my eyes (I watched UP without taking off my makeup first), and I'm eating cereal and drinking flat coke zero. I am not the standard you should aim for 😭😭

ynslover I love how open and honest she is about her content. she's actually such a good role model

liked by taliamar, freyanightingale, chloemitchells, and 19,519 others

yourusername apparently people think the party life in my photo dumps is my day-to-day? babes, if I can teach any of you one thing in life, it's that half the shit you see online is fake. half the 'candid' moments are staged, same goes for almost every picture you see. so here's a little dump of my actual reality

zoeleonards yeah guys she's actually so messy it's insane. it makes me want to move out

yourusername SHUT IT. zoë has about three different vases of dead flowers in her room because she forgets to take them out.

zoeleonards that's nothing on the old cups in your room

yourusername BLOCKING U

ynslover how does it feel to be the most relatable influencer ever even though you're not an influencer?

taliamar omg you've still got the vinyls!!

yourusername ofc, babe! I needed something to remember our days of charity shop hopping

2023, January

[heart4reigns]

hii, It’s possible to get an jey uso x reader where reader is a very confident wrestler who openly flirts with jey all the time and makes it know to the whole wwe universe that’s her man when they’re not even together. jey laughs it off because he thinks it’s all for the cameras till reader stops flirting with him and ignores him because she thinks jey doesn’t like her like that. jey realizes that he does like her and now he has to chase her now

REALITY, jey uso.

warnings: curse words, pet names

tags: FLIRTY (Y/N) FOR THE WIN HELL YEAHHHHH, afab reader

summary: you will never know what you have until it's gone

IT was well known that you were head over heels for the man sitting down next to you with a beautiful smile plastered on his face. every single person inside this building knew that you were practically in love with him. it all started as an inside joke with the creative board that they were going to pair you up with none other than the main event, jey uso. but you caught real feelings and it wasn’t for the show anymore.

he was everything that you have ever wanted in a boyfriend. kind, funny, and most importantly–he was patient. you loved him with all of your heart. “you look handsome.” you winked at him. “thanks, how do you like my new hair, (y/n)?” “beautiful as always.” you grinned. “you’re such a flirt.” jey chuckled, opening the door for you. “hey, i only flirt with you, baby.”

you fixed his mic and he helped you with yours. “ready?” “yep!” you were going to shoot a video with him on your day off. “the undisputed tag-team champions are here! this is (y/n)!” you introduced yourself to the camera. “jey uso right here and welcome back to playback!” he continued the introduction. you were shooting a youtube video with him today. “we’re gonna watch one of our best matches ever… god, this was life changing! my man and i against becky and seth.” you narrated the fight.

"that stomp was so devastating." you cringed at the memory. "got my ass complaining backstage." jey added. "right! i felt my soul flying as soon as his boot connected with your neck." you shuddered. "my man takes all the bumps and i have to take care of him backstage. countless medic dates with him." you nudged him with your elbow. "but i still love you." you snickered. "yeah, yeah. she takes care of me a lot."

“and… cut!” you immediately stretched out your body, still feeling sore after yesterday’s workout session. “looking pretty tired, mama.” he patted your back. “still have the energy for tonight though.” you were going to help jey unpack with his furniture, he recently moved to your neighborhood. jimmy and trinity were also going to help, the 4 of you were a pack, even after trin left the company. “should i buy you a housewarming gift?” you suggested. “it’s such a shame you moved before us getting married! you could’ve moved in with me, hubby.” you teased him. jey just shook his head in response. "whatever you say, mama."

several crews were paying attention to the two of you. “are they married?” one of them whispered. “oh, you must be new here. nah, (y/n) just likes to flirt with him.” the other one replied. even the staffs knew that you were always attached to the hip with him. people were practically wishing that the two of you would end up together. “come on, baby. let’s go. trin is spamming me with messages.” you intertwined his hands with yours. “yeah, yeah. we’ll go now.”

you picked up a box, putting it down in his living room. "i can't believe we're neighbors now!" you were practically jumping with excitement. "i mean... i think it was about time that i moved, that apartment was falling apart." jey chuckled, remembering his old place. "and lucky for me to have my hubby near me." jey ruffled your hair. "hey, don't touch my hair!" you pouted. "yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" "i'm gonna fight you." you threatened him in a joking way. "bring it on." that commenced the play fighting you had with him.

"okay, maybe we came in at the wrong time." jimmy opened the door, seeing you on the floor with jey. "hi guys!" you greeted them with a smile. "what were you doing?" trinity put the cake on the counter. "fighting him like usual." you had jey on headlock, causing him to groan. "i swear if we weren't acting on stage, you could actually beat my ass." he sighed. "let's get to work so we can eat cake!" you grinned, letting go of his head.

trinity and jimmy knew that the love you had for their little brother was pure. but jey uso was just unaware of that. he'd brush it off, acting as if this was all a long-running joke. "okay, i think i'll take my leave now. i have to call my brother tonight." you announced to your best friends. "oh, you're not staying here?" jey tilted his head. "i'd love to have a sleepover with you, hubby! but i can't, i'll stay over next time. bye!" you went over and kissed the top of his head, only causing him to chuckle.

once you were out, jimmy shook his head. "swear no one loves you like she does." "nah, it's just a best friend thingy. she doesn't love me like that, dawg." jimmy and trin groaned in unison. "whatever you say, man."

friday came by and you arrived early to run some lines with jey. the two of you were going to cut a promo together, building up for a match against sami and kevin. “hiiiii!” you greeted him, walking into the locker room. “hey.” he replied with a smile. you couldn’t help but to feel butterflies in your stomach. “soooo,” you paused for a second, taking a seat next to him. “are we gonna kiss tonight?” jey rolled his eyes in a joking way. “you’re always trying to kiss me, mama.” “maybe that’s because i like you and i think you’re pretty.” you winked at him.

“the undisputed tag-team champions, jey uso and (y/n) (l/n)!” as usual, you were walking hand in hand with jey, your belts hanging off the your left arm. “let’s go, let’s go!” you hyped yourself up, taking in the energy from the crowd. “ay, ay! miami, we are in your city!” jey yelled to the microphone, lifting his finger up, playing out the script. “hiiiiii everyone!” you greeted the crowd with your usual cheery tone, earning a ‘hiiiii’ from them. “right, right. it’s about to be brutal for sami and kevin, i love their asses but they attacked my man last week! i’m gonna make it personal.” you played out the part.

jey was standing next to you, fully paying attention to you. he loved how you were so passionate about your work. especially your role. he thought that your flirty act was part of the joke, so he was used to you flirting around. but jey never thought of it being serious. with the gimmick you played out together as boyfriend and girlfriend, he grew accustomed to your flirty nature.

“damn, what a promo we did.” jey jumped on the locker room couch, feeling tired. “you did great babe!” you teased him. “and you look very boyfriend-ish today with your outift.” you added, winking at him. “i don't get it why you still flirt with me, it's so funny to me that you still play out your roll when we're off stage. that's very funny to me, i respect your dedication, (y/n).” he chuckled. his sentence made your heart drop.

your felt a pang on your chest. oh… oh, you thought. you didn't say anything. "you're riding with me right?" you shook your head. "actually, i think i'm sitting with bayley, she was trying to tell me something earlier." you lied, still trying to hold back your tears. he thought you were just messing around this entire time and that hurt your feelings. "oh, okay."

thankfully, you spotted bayley coming out of the locker room with iyo and dakota. "i need help." you muttered. "you looked stressed out, what's up?" she raised a brow. "can i just ride with you guys?" the women immediately knew that you were trying to avoid someone. "our bus is always open for you, babe." dakota patted your back.

jey didn't spot you on the way back to the bus. "anyone seen (y/n)?" he asked his coworkers. "she went with bayley, their bus left like 10 minutes ago." bianca replied, not looking up from her phone. "oh." jey took a seat on the back of the bus, alone, of course. "weird seeing you not sitting with (y/n)." montez added. "this is my first time not riding with her in years." jey admitted. it does feel weird, he thought. but like usual, jey immediately brushed it off, plugging in his headphones, not wanting to think about anything.

the night felt long to you. you sighed, brushing your wet hair as you felt a pang on your chest, replaying the conversation from earlier. “hey gir- are you okay?” trinity picked up the phone, clearly concerned about your current situation. “are you with jimmy?” trinity shook her head. “jey thinks i’m just joking around babe, isn’t it obvious that i am in love with him?” trin immediately understood your sentence. “i’m sorry, babes…” she sighed. “whatever, i guess. i’m being dramatic. i don’t want to deal with him.” you wiped the tear stain on your cheek.

“maybe i should just distance myself, trin. yeah… i'm not going bowling tomorrow.” trin smiled at you, pity plastering her face. “you know what’s best for you, babes. i’m here if you need to talk okay? i’ll even beat his ass if you want me to!” that sentence made you chuckle. “you don’t need to do that trin… i guess i’ll just watch some sad movies. good night, i love you.” “i love you too! let me send you some ice cream!” as soon as you sat down on your couch, you heard your notifications going off.

jey!!: still up for bowling tmrw with roman and the others?

jey!!: i’ll pick you up if you want to

jey!!: hellooooo?

jey!!: damn did you pass out or something?

jey!!: aight text me when you wake up good night

he furrowed his brows, waiting for you to respond. it had been a day and you still haven't replied. “(y/n) didn’t reply all night, you know where she at?” jey asked trinity. “nope, she didn’t reply to me too. think she’s out cold.” trin lied, trying to keep your secret. “damn… she loves bowling. i guess i’ll take her next week.” trin wanted to roll her eyes but she just nodded.

jey was walking alone in the arena. you didn’t reply to his text messages and it felt weird walking alone, not having you near him. “I’VE BEEN SAYING LIKE… THAT SHIT WAS SO FUNNY!” he heard your loud voice, decorating the empty hallways. jey immediately smiled and went inside the locker room, expecting you to jump in his arms, hugging him. the two of you hadn’t seen each other in a week and he missed your positive radiant energy.

you didn’t realize that he entered the locker room, you were still laughing with bayley over some dumb incident that happened weeks ago. “(y/n)! where have you been?” jey greeted you. this time, the hug he was expecting wasn’t there. all he saw was your smile dropping and a simple wave. “anyways, i need to go get ready for my interview, see you bayley.” you walked pass him. after closing the locker room door, he heard your laugh again. “iyo! hi, missed you!”

that was weird, jey thought. but he brushed it off as usual. sure, you had your days where you were not your usual self, but this was all new to him. you never ignored him before. showtime came and you were going to come out with him like usual. jey was already in gorilla position, waiting for you to come. “where were you?” he asked, clearly confused. “i was with iyo.” you shortly replied, not looking at him. “are you okay?” jey furrowed his brows. “perfect.” your music started and you immediately took his hand like usual.

“you killed it, mama!” the segment ended and the two of you walked back to the hallways. “thanks.” once again, you shortly replied. before jey could say anything, you walked to the bathroom, avoiding further interactions. you really didn't have the energy to talk to him. you loved him but he didn’t feel the same and you were still in denial about it. so you chose to push him away–despite wanting to hold his hands like usual, you couldn’t.

“anyone know what’s wrong with (y/n)?” jey entered the bloodline's locker room, earning glances from his faction. “what do you mean?” roman asked, furrowing his brows in confusion. “i don’t know, she’s ignoring me and my texts.” jey sat down on the bench, feeling all confused. “she asked me what tie i was wearing so we could have matching sets.” paul joined the conversation. she even replied to paul, jey thought. you hated replying to the old man’s messages because it would end with a long paragraph about taking care of your own health. something was definitely wrong.

practice day came and jey was in front of your house, waiting for you to come out. you didn’t pick up his call and replied to his messages, but he was still going to pick you up like usual. his train of thought was cut off by his phone ringing. “dude, where are you? everyone’s here and we’re waiting for you!” sami’s voice was loud and clear. “i’m waiting for (y/n), in front of her house right now.” “what do you mean you’re waiting for (y/n)? she came here with roman like an hour ago. they’re warming up.”

“okay, i’m here now!” jey saw the entire faction, sami, and kevin waiting for him. “shit, (y/n). i didn’t know you went with roman, could’ve replied to my texts or calls.” jey complained. he was expecting a snarky or sarcastic reply, or even a flirtatious respond, but you only nodded at his sentence. “sorry.” you muttered. “you wanna go now?” sami asked you. “sure!” your tone switched when you replied to sami.

you got into the ring with sami, practicing the choreography. jey watched you from the side, puzzled with your cold behavior at him. you were all smiles when sami accidentally tripped over your foot. “come on, get up!” you chuckled. “sorry, sorry! it was my fault.” sami replied, pulling you up from your current position. “come on, (y/n)! you can do this.” you looked at jey and didn’t respond, only focusing on hitting a punch on sami’s shoulders. “wanna tag me in?” jey jumped inside the ring. “just wait a bit, i was having fun with sami.” you stared at him with a deadpanned expression.

“did i do something wrong?” jey finally asked the question. “no?” you raised a brow. “then why are you acting cold to me, (y/n)?” you shrugged your shoulders. “nothing is wrong, jey.” you never said his name after you gained feelings for him, it was always cute pet names like ‘baby’ or even ‘hubby’. but hearing you say his name, his chest tightened a bit. “just tag in,” you paused for a second, slapping his hand in a quick motion. “i’ll be with kevin in the ring next room if you need anything.”

"good practice guys!" you smiled at them, not paying attention to jey, who was still in the ring. "alright, let's go, you haven't packed right?" roman spoke up. "yeah, thanks for reminding me. let's go home!" you nodded. "you're not riding back with me?" jey spoke up. "no, i came here with roman." "you know his house is like a 30 minute drive from ours right?" he raised a brow. "and? he offered to drive me home, jey. do i see him complaining?" you stared at him. everyone felt the tension surrounding the two of you. "okay, okay. calm down." solo patted your back, completely diffusing the situation.

roman definitely knew what was going on. "so, you broke up with him or what?" he asked. "no... we weren't even dating, uce." you sighed. "but why the hell are you acting all cold to him?" you went over the story of how he thought you were just joking around. "damn, that man really needs a reality check." roman said after you finished your ranting. "maybe he just doesn't like me and i'm trying too hard or i am just being dramatic." you sighed. "nah, (y/n). we all know you love him, just don't be too hard on yourself."

jey ended up riding with jimmy. "you look pissed as hell, what's up?" jimmy asked, munching on his food. the two brothers were in a random parking lot, eating their feelings out. "(y/n) has been very cold to me. i don't know what i did." he sighed. "what do you mean by that?" jimmy furrowed his brows. "she never replied to my texts, she doesn't flirt around with me, avoided every interaction, she's not touchy, and overall... it feels weird without her." jimmy smacked the back of his younger twin's neck.

"are you fucking serious?" jimmy groaned. "what?" jey gritted his teeth. "bro, do i really need to be the one saying this to you?" "just say it." jimmy sighed. "she's in love with you, bro. do you think it's all an act? she's been in love with you since day 1. i know it's all for the gimmick, acting out as boyfriend and girlfriend," he paused for a second. "but she's head over heels for you. what the fuck did you say to her to make her act distant?"

then it hit him. "i laughed it off. i told her that she could drop the act since the cameras weren't rolling..." "i swear if you weren't my brother, i'd beat your ass right now." jimmy rolled his eyes. "now, do you love her back?" that question made jey drop his phone on his lap. do i love her? he thought. jey had never felt so comfortable with anyone but you. jey loved seeing your cheery attitude, he loved the way you could light up the room with your laugh, he loved the way you were always there for him, and he just realized that he loved you.

"shit."

jey breathed out the cold air of december. he was in front of your house, carrying a bouquet. it took him only 5 minutes to walk to your house as you were neighbors now. he knocked on your door, waiting for you to open it. his heart was beating faster than usual as he tapped his foot in nervousness. "wait a bit!" jey heard your footsteps. you opened the door, seeing him with a smile on his face. "yes, how may i help- jey?" "i'm sorry."

"what are you doing here?" you furrowed your brows. "just... hear me out," he paused for a second. you crossed your arms, listening to him. "i'm sorry." he repeated. "for what?" you barked at him. "i'm sorry for not taking you seriously, i should've realized that you were in love with me and i was blinded by the fact that i thought it was an act..." your cold persona dropped after hearing his sentence. "i'm sorry that i brushed it off." you sighed.

"thank you for apologizing. i know that you don't see me the same way, i'll just stop the way i act-" before you could finish your sentence, he dropped the flowers and pulled you closer. jey kissed you and you were over the moon. "i love you, please don't ever ignore me... i'm sorry, baby." he apologized once again. "you love me?" you looked up at him. "i do." his sentence made you smile. "sorry for ignoring you, i thought that would make it easier for me to stop loving you." you admitted. "please don't ever ignore me again, i could literally die without you." he kissed your forehead. "i'll bother you until the sun burns out."

a/n: OMGGGGGGGGGG I LOVED WRITING THIS i hope y'all enjoyed it because i did... i love writing jey so much tbh like i just love him omg!!!! <3 feedbacks are highly appreciated like usual <3

[dorkynerd23]

Ah, he never changes..Vanitymoth is back with another shitty review and this video proves he truly doesn't understand or gets Murder Drones as a whole, say whatever you want about the finale as I've had a few issues about the finale myself and think it could've been a bit better but it was at least satisfying and entertaining. I'm not even surprised by this (in the slightest) since as I've said in my post about Vanitymoth, he's almost never positive about whatever he reviews, he barely has ANYTHING positive and praise to give when it comes to the pieces of media he reviews even though there are things you can praise but Vanity choices not to, it just feels like he has very high standards and if they don't meet up to his expectations then he just sees them as bad overall and sees his opinions as definite facts everyone should take to heart and listen to, this dude is just insufferable both to listen to and watch.

He also hearted this comment here...As someone who's in both communities I personally don't think the MD community is as awful and terrible as the Helluvaverse community can be, tbh. Yes, the MD fanbase has shown to be terrible and awful but that's all fandoms, all fandoms are toxic and terrible no matter how big and small, and just for the record the MD fanbase has been called out before by many people. And one more thing, although all fandoms are toxic, there's also good aspects to them as well too. There are good aspects to the Murder Drones fandoms as I've met and see many incredible people in there, despite its bad aspects in the fanbase it's still a fine enough fanbase with some bad and good apples but again, no fandom is perfect and you'll always have good and apples no matter what fandoms you're apart of.

But I'm overall tired of Vanitymoth and can't stand him for the life of me, he's very unbearable as a cartoon reviewer and just doesn't understand MD, this comment says a lot honestly and I personally don't think he's truly ever cared about the show because he gets so much wrong about this series and these characters and overall gets them wrong and mischaracterizes them to make them look worse as a result and to fit his own narrative and shitty theories.

Listen, if y'all want someone, a YouTuber who ACTUALLY understands and gets Murder Drones, actually understands the characters and gets everything right about the show and the theme of it itself, if y'all wanna watch a reviewer who gets MD, please go watch Sarcastic Chorus. Although I don't always agree with his opinions, he's always valid and positive with his opinions even when seeing the flaws in whatever he reviews, he's a great and much better YouTuber than Vanity. And just like @wayward-delver said when it comes to Sarcastic Chorus, SC genuinely understands how the show was meant to be understood and watched, he sees the hard work, love and dedication that went into the show and he's also able to point out flaws without being a dick and shooting down the fans of the show.

[everybodyhatesmiddleschool]

It has been six excruciating days since I was plunged into the Bridgerton fandom against my will.

I was minding my own business, watching YouTube compilations of the best kisses in TV history, when I unwittingly clicked on a video about Colin and Penelope, and I was immediately down so bad for them.

Let me be clear: Bridgerton was not part of my life before I clicked on that video. I wanted nothing to do with it; I had no intention of ever watching or reading that smut. And then, without warning, it swept in and took me in the night, much like Colin Bridgerton in the back of a carriage.

To say I have been lost in the sauce these past six days would be a gross understatement. The carriage scene is literally ruining my life. I haven’t gone to sleep before 1 a.m. since Sunday, and I have been over an hour late to work every day. Why? Because I cannot stop consuming that godforsaken scene — watching gifs of it over and over, reading y’all’s hilarious takes and memes about it, watching it with the audio descriptions turned on (🥵), watching it with the music removed (🥵🥵), watching Luke and Nicola on their press tour, watching, watching, watching.

Have I started actually watching season 1 of the show? Of course. Did I check out the large-print version of the first book from the library since it was the only copy available? You bet. But I do not care about these other characters and storylines. I want it to be Colin and Penelope on the screen and the page in every sentence and every scene.

And either fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t even have to be looking at a screen to be distracted by them — my daydreaming has never been as maladaptive in my life as it has been this week. I can hardly think of one ten-minute stretch in the past six days in which some imaginary scenario has not been taking over my brain. I want to be part of their world so bad — not just Bridgerton, but Shondaland. As is the case for 90% of all of my daydreams, I want these actors to know I exist. I want them to look at me with just as much awe and love as I look at them. So I might be staring at my computer screen in my cubicle, but in my mind, I’m on a press tour of my own that intersects with theirs. (I’m never the desperate fan with no life in my dreams; my idols always see me as their equal). I might be driving my commute in my car, but in my mind, they’re congratulating me about my own novel being optioned by Netflix. I might be brushing my teeth in my bathroom, but in my mind, we’re laughing together on Graham Norton’s couch.

But Lord, here comes that freaking carriage scene once again, inserting itself into my mind (pun unavoidable). I cannot get over it. I’m so stuck there that I’ve found myself wearing shoes I don’t remember putting on, carrying coffee mugs I don’t remember putting in my bag, driving a speed limit I don’t remember agreeing to as acceptable. There is laundry that needs to be folded. Bills need to be paid. Emails need to be deleted en masse without reading. But I can’t find the door that will let me out of this damn carriage.

I had a conversation with myself two days ago about how we might be able to adapt to this new living situation. After a few temper tantrums, I finally said, “Girl, if you’re going to watch this scene 1,000 times, you have got to find a way to make it a constructive part of your life.” So I did what any rational adult would do: I started writing a scholarly paper about why it’s so powerful — not just for me but, according to the internet, for a lot of women. And I have every intention of writing an entire paper about this … if I can find the time. I’m just so busy right now with consuming this damn scene.

Was starting to write that article enough to satiate my obsession with this scene, with this show and these actors? Of course not. So this morning, I started writing a spicy scene of my own, featuring not Colin and Penelope but two other vaguely outlined characters who I’m sure I’ll give names and personalities to later. I was literally sitting in my cubicle, hunched over my planner, writing down snippets of sexiness in as small a print as possible in case someone walked up on me and looked over my shoulder without me noticing. And I’m not gonna lie: this shit’s good. I’ve never written smut before, because I’ve never had enough spice in my own life to feel like I’d be able to do it justice on paper. But that imagination of mine — she’s a freak. And my mind? My mind has moved way past the gutter. It is now in the outhouse. It’s in the slop with the pigs.

It should have come as no surprise, but as usual, the act of actually writing down the jumble of mess in my brain has had the effect of breaking some of the spell. I was also forced to focus on work because of looming deadlines, and I currently feel calmer than I have since Sunday. But I am truly living in fear of June 13. I cannot go through this again, and I know that I’m bound to, because I know that what’s been shown so far won’t hold a candle to what’s coming. And if I get down bad any further, I will be deep enough in the ground for this to become my final resting place. I’m not ready to be buried, but it feels inevitable.

But somehow, despite my own wants and fears, and despite the fact that we haven’t even been introduced yet to the bedroom where Colin and Penelope are sure to end up, I am somehow already lurking from behind the window curtains in the corner, peeking out at them doing the deed. I know what I hope I’ll see: based on the excerpt I’ve seen from the book, they will be in front of a mirror — expressly because Colin wants Penelope to see herself in full for the glorious goddess she is, and she will look at her sexy, bare self with just as much pride and love as we viewers behind the screen will (but probably with slightly less lust than Colin, who I pray will be very loud about how hot she is).

I am dreaming about this scene, but I dread it. Because if it’s as good as the carriage scene, I will immediately be re-enscripted and sent right back to the trenches where I spent the last six days. I’m excited, but I’m scared. And I’m afraid of getting lost in the woods again, because I know that if I do, I won’t want to be found.

[firelordsfirelady]

XIII. Pinky Promises

Author: @firelordsfirelady

Imagine: When Y/N—a princess of one of the Water Tribes—is told she’s leaving her tribe, she never expects that she’s to be betrothed to the Fire Lord’s son, nor was she prepared to be exiled the very day she arrived at the Fire Nation. With her life in the hands of her new fiancée, how will life change for the princess? 

Pairing: Zuko x F!Reader

Trigger warnings: arranged marriage, feelings of fear, banishment, mentions of burns/abuse, frustration, violence, betrayal

Word Count: 3089

Destined to be Yin and Yang 

I own no rights to Avatar the Last Airbender or any of the characters/story. 

Author’s Notes

The characters as all aged up so Zuko’s banishment happens when he’s 16 

Keep in mind I am bringing a unique world with inspiration from ATLA in their characters, some of the events that happen, bending, etc. Not many things may align or occur with what happened in the show. It’s intended that way, so I hope you enjoy it regardless.

See Y/N’s inspiration here. 

Destined to be Yin and Yang Soundtrack (YouTube)

Thankfully, the crew and Zuko let me rest till very late in the afternoon the next day. As I sat at my desk brushing my hair, I stared at the firebender I had been drawing before the Fire Nation rudely drug me away yesterday. I had been busy adding a small amount of shading to the picture, and the small firebender I had drawn looked more alive now than it did when I started. A smile subconsciously found its way to my lips as I reminisced on my conversation with a certain firebender last night.

I will honor my agreement to marry you. Zuko’s words echoed in my head as I lightly touched my lips. He had kissed me last night, and, by the way the butterflies in my stomach fluttered, I may not ever recover from the kiss as my cheeks tinted a deep shade of pink.

Walking out of my room, I knocked on Zuko’s door, but there was no reply from within. I shrugged my shoulders as I walked down to Iroh’s door and knocked gently. Iroh’s friendly voice welcomed me inside the room, and I smiled as I walked in and greeted the older Firebender.

“Ah, Y/N, please have a seat. Would you like some tea?” He asked with a smile as he held up the tea pot. “I got some lovely ginsei tea from the last supply run we did.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you knew where Zuko was.” Iroh gave me a knowing smile as I asked my question.

“Ah, yes,” Iroh said as he poured three cups of tea. “He is in his prayer room.” Turning around, Iroh handed me two cups of tea. “He has specifically requested that no one disturb him until they have news of the Avatar.” The smile on Iroh’s lips had me furrow my eyebrows in confusion as I grabbed the cups, then I realized why Iroh was giving me two teacups.

“You want me to tell Zuko we have no news about the Avatar?” Iroh lightly laughed at my question and handed me a rolled map.

“What better way to receive unwanted news than with a beautiful woman bringing you tea?” I rolled my eyes as my cheeks turned a deep shade of red.

“If only the young prince saw it that way.” I laughed, careful not to spill the tea. Iroh smiled a knowing smile at me.

“Besides, perhaps, the two of you might be able to talk.” I rolled my eyes at Iroh’s attempt to set Zuko and I up on a date.

“I’m going to tell him you sent me there for a date.” I teased the older man who laughed at my statement. 

“I am not the one who called it a date.” Iroh teased back before he turned around to hold a small tea tray towards me. “Then take this tea tray.” I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue at the Firebender before setting the two cups on the tray and taking the offered tray from his hands. “Good luck on your date.” Iroh laughed as I rolled my eyes and left the room.

My heart thudded against the bones of my ribs as I walked towards the set of double doors that separated the hall from the prayer room. I felt nervous as I shifted the tray to rest against my right forearm as I raised my left hand and gently knocked on the door.

“I said to only come if there’s news of the Avatar.” Zuko’s calm voice came from the other side of the door. I took a deep breath before I answered.

“Even if I have tea?” My voice was light as I carefully opened the door. Zuko sat cross legged on a small stool in front of four lit candles that sat on a table. The candle flames grew then dimmed as Zuko sat with his back to me, but he turned to look at me as I gave him a warm smile.

“I was clear when I told Un—“

“And Iroh was the one who sent me to tell you the news.” Zuko’s eyebrow raised itself as I looked around the room to set the tray down. “But, you must remain calm with the news.”

“Uncle always said that a great leader keeps their cool.” Zuko calmly spoke as he turned his attention back to the candles in front of him.

We shall see how calm you remain. I stood there holding the tray of tea before I straightened my shoulders and smiled.

“We have no idea where the Avatar is.” The flames of the candles erupted into larger flames that reached the ceiling as he turned around with anger.

“What?” 

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.” I clicked my tongue and shook my head before I took some water from one of the cups and put out the candles. “You’re lucky to have me around with that temper.” I smirked as the Firebender struggled to calm down. Now that the candles were out, I carefully walked over to set the tray down on the table.

Zuko was dressed in a loose robe that stopped above his knees. I had yet to see him dressed so casually before, and it was sending my heart into a whirlwind as I tried my best not to stare at the handsome man as I turned back around. 

I shook my head as the thought crossed my mind, but I straightened up to give the prince a smile.

“Your uncle wanted me to deliver the news because,” I dropped my voice to imitate Iroh. “What better way to receive unwanted news than with tea delivered by a pretty lady.” I let out a light laugh before I turned around to find Zuko’s ears had reddened. “I told him that you might not see it as such.” A friendly smile was on my lips, but my heart hammered in my chest.

“Uncle has a way of exaggerating things.” Zuko said in a calm voice before he looked away. “He’s not wrong about the tea though.” My cheeks reddened as I looked away from the Prince. “Let me see the map.” Zuko took the rolled up map from my hand and unrolled it. I could see a black line drawn from several random points on the map as I looked over Zuko’s shoulder.

Had that been a compliment? I didn’t linger on the thought as I looked back up at Zuko.

“I couldn’t help but notice there’s two cups on the tray.” Zuko’s eyes brieflylooked towards the tea tray before he continued looking at the map. My ears reddened, but I tried to play it off with a laugh.

“Perhaps he thought you’d like some company while you drink your tea.” Zuko smirked at me as he rolled the map back up again. “It looks like the Avatar has been all over.” I said as I nodded my head towards the rolled up map, and Zuko sighed heavily.

“How are we supposed to find him if we don’t know where he is.” Frowning slightly, I walked up and squeezed his shoulder lightly.

“We will find him, Zuko.” I smiled at him. “I know it.” He stared at me briefly as if I had two heads. “Matter of fact, let me see the map.” He gave me the map as I had asked and I unrolled it. Scanning my eyes over the map, I was drawn to a small island in the earth kingdom. Pointing to it, I asked Zuko what the name of the island was.

“That’s Kyoshi’s Island.” Zuko said as he looked at it. “Nothing significant other than it was Avatar Kyoshi’s birth place.” I blinked at him.

“I have a feeling that we might find the Avatar there.” I casually shrugged as I rolled the map back up. “Giving his random path, he could be marking things off of a bucket list or something.” 

Zuko and I stood there awkwardly in silence before I cleared my throat.

“Well I’ll be go—“

“Do you want—“ Zuko and I started at the same time, and I let out a laugh.

“We need to stop doing that.” I laughed, and Zuko let out a small chuckle.

“Do you want to have some tea with me?” Zuko asked before I could finish my sentence, and his cheeks turned red as spoke.

“I thought you weren’t to be disturbed until there’s news of the Avatar?” I teased as I raised an eyebrow at the Firebender to cover the heart pounding in my chest. “I’d hate to disturb you with no news.” Zuko rolled his eyes at me, but the corners of his mouth raised a bit. 

“Who said you were disturbing me?”

Mentally his words have me screaming, but physically I tried to keep calm as I gave him a smile.

“As long as I’m not a bother,” I bowed my head slightly before I looked into the golden eyes that were looking at me. “I’d love to have some tea with you.”

A few hours later, Zuko had me in tears.

“It’s seriously not that funny.” Zuko said with irritation as his ears betrayed his embarrassment as I held my stomach with laughter. Wiping tears from my eyes, I took deep breaths to try and calm my fit of laughter.

“Oh, trust me, it is that funny.” A small laugh left my lips again before I smiled at the Prince. “I just can’t imagine you stuck in a tree dangling..” Another fit of laughter threatened to bubble out of me as I spoke. “It’s almost as funny as the time I got my tongue stuck to the ice cap back home.” Zuko and I looked at each other before we both started laughing at the same time.

“How did you get your tongue stuck to the ice cap?” Zuko asked as his laughter calmed down. An easy smile rested on his lips as he leaned against the wall of the prayer room with his hands behind his head. I laid on my back as I looked at him from my spot on the floor.

“Five year-old me thought it was a brilliant idea to lick the ice cap after Mayuh had done it and said it tastes like sushi.” I laughed at the stupidity of my younger self. Wiping tears from my eyes, I smiled at the fond memory. Zuko’s face scrunched up as he looked disgusted.

“You believed it would taste like sushi?” I laughed before reiterating that I was five years old at the time. A comfortable silence fell between us as I happily laid on the floor by the casually sitting Prince. I looked over to admire him as he stared blankly at the liquid in the cup between his hands. His eyes swam with such uncertainty that it broke my heart.

“Do you remember the dream I told you about the koi fish--the moon and ocean sprits?” My quiet words left my mouth as I looked at the Prince. Blinking slowly, Zuko slightly shifted his attention to me.

“Yes, and I remember the story about them coming to be mortal for a day.” Zuko’s eyebrow raised and I knew as he opened his mouth that he was going to ask me a question.

“I started having those dreams as far back as I could remember.” I looked up at the ceiling above me as I spoke. “I dreamt about one of the fish--the moon fish--dying during some dreams. Other dreams were me climbing into the pool to swim with the spirits with a young girl with snow white hair.” Zuko stayed quiet as I talked.

“When I was ten, my father said he had business to discuss with the Northern Water Tribe, and he would be gone for a few months. I begged Father to take me with him.” I let out a small chuckle at the memory. “And I mean I begged. I did all my schoolwork for that year and the next because he worried about my schooling.”

“Dad finally agreed, and I was ecstatic to arrive at the Northern Water Tribe. I met the King’s daughter, Princess Yue, and she looked just like the girl in my dreams.” Taking a small strand of hair between my fingers, I twisted the strand around my fingers as I sighed.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you, Zuko.” The firebender was as calm as ever as he patiently waited for me to continue. “Father and I stayed long enough for the day to come that the Moon and Ocean spirits would spend an evening as mortals among us.

“I followed Princess Yue to the sacred spring and was in absolute awe at the sight of the koi swimming in their water. I remember Yue put her hand in the water and the white koi playfully swam to her, so I did the same. The Ocean spirit came to greet me before the two koi playfully swam between our hands.” The memory made tears come to my eyes as I smiled fondly at the memory. “I could hardly believe something like that was possible.”

“We returned home shortly after, but I was never the same after that interaction.” My chest felt heavy as I prepared to let Zuko in on a secret I had been keeping from him. “Ever since I returned from that trip, I’ve had these dreams or visions that are so vivid and feel so real that I have to question if it happened or if I imagined it.” My words were slightly unsteady as I continued.

“When I was ten, I had a dream that began seeing Mayuh laying on a pile of wood with her hands folded neatly over her chest. She looked peaceful as I approached to tell her my final goodbye. I remember reaching out to her and touching the cold shoulder of my grandmother as she laid in bed. My touch caused her to fall back slightly and I screamed as I saw dried blood from her nose and lifeless eyes staring back at me.” I closed my eyes at the memory. “Mother had assured me that it was just a nightmare.” I let out a bitter laugh. “She heard my scream three weeks later as I found my grandmother dead.”

“My best friend died when I was fifteen after being chronically ill for years.” Turning to look at Zuko, I bit my lip as his golden eyes looked at me with sadness.

“What are you saying, Y/N?” Zuko asked quietly as I looked back to the hair between my fingers.

“Do not be upset about what I am about to say.”

“You’re not about to tell me I have died in your dreams, right?” I let out a small laugh at Zuko’s question.

“No. You didn’t die.” I sighed as I closed my eyes tightly. “I dreamt about the light we saw in the sky and I heard your voice say something about the Avatar before I saw the Airbender standing in your room.” I heard a sharp intake of breath from the surprisingly calm man near me. “I had a vision of Avatar Kyoshi’s Shrine happen that same night.”

“Are you asking me to believe your dreams are predicting the future?” Zuko’s words sounded dubious as he spoke, and I let out a bitter laugh.

“Absolutely not.” I said. “Life just has a strange way of making the visions happen.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I hope some of them are just dreams.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried to give Zuko a smile, but he looked at me with concerned eyes.

“There’s more that you aren’t saying.” Zuko’s words were quiet, and I tried to keep my face stoic while he stared at me. 

“Hey,” Zuko’s soft words was accompanied by the soft caress of my face with a gentle hand. Forcing me to look at him, Zuko gave me the softest smile as he looked into my eyes. “You can talk to me.” My lungs ceased to work as I mulled over telling Zuko about my dream. “As long as you’re not about to tell me I died in your dream.” Zuko said in a slightly joking manner, but I didn’t find it funny as I replied. 

“I drowned.” My words were softly spoken in a volume barely audible to me as I blankly stared at something other than Zuko’s eyes as the flashbacks of the dream washed over me. “It ended with me drowning.” Silence greeted my heavily said words only briefly before a gentle hand moved the hair out of my face. My eyes focused back to the golden orbs looking back at me with so much emotion, but his facial expression held determination.

“You won’t drown while I’m around.” Zuko’s honest words made my heart jump in my chest.

“Pinky promise?” My voice sounded small as I held out my left pinky to him. “It is against the law to break a pinky promise.”

“A pinky promise?” Zuko’s ears reddened at my suggestion. “What are we? Children?”

“No. We are soon-to-be twenty year-olds who still believe in the binding magic of a pinky promise.” I tilted my head and slightly raised my eyebrow as I smiled at Zuko, offering my pinky again with a small bend of the finger at him.

“On one condition,” Zuko started, and I raised an eyebrow with curiosity. “You tell me about any visions or dreams you have.” I nodded in agreement. With cheeks tinted red, Zuko wrapped his right pinky tightly around my left one.

“I pinky promise that you won’t drown while I’m around.” A wide smile grew on my lips as I tightened my pinky around his too.

“I pinky promise to tell you about any dreams or visions I have.” I repeated then a yawn escaped my lips as I slowly moved to sit up.

“Thank you for having tea with me.” I said as I gathered the cups and the tray. “I enjoyed spending time with you.” Zuko’s face was red as the earnest words effortlessly left my lips.

“Are you free for another training session soon?” Zuko looked at me after he stood up and handed me the tray from the floor. “I feel well enough to train some more.” A smile rested on my face as I looked at the golden eyes staring at me.

“Do you think I’d miss the opportunity to beat you?” Zuko’s cocky smile greeted me. “Never.”

Tag List @chevysstuffs @puttyly @ginger24880 @night-fall-moon @junieshohoho @0kauy @coolgirl458 @hypnoticbeing @angelruinz @preeyansha @playboygeniusphilanthropist @ssonniiu  @chi-ara @hagridshaircare @stell404  @kyo-kyo1 @herondale-lightworm @simonsbluee @nadlx33333 @nerdisthenewcool @jewelsrules 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for taking my elderly, aggressive cat to a groomer?

My childhood cat is M16 going on 17. I lived with him for 13-14 years, and he’s always been very elegant and pretty. Growing up, he was meticulous about grooming to the point where it became a family in-joke that he was a movie star or a model or something in a past life. But he’s getting older now, and he had a particularly hard summer—in addition to slowly going blind, he escaped the house one night and no one could find him till the next morning, and which point he’d clearly been hit by a car or attacked by an animal. He had a broken leg and was slowly suffocating due to a hole in his lung, but somehow the old bastard pulled through and recovered surprisingly quickly (the vet clinic cheered when my parents gave them the update, it was so sweet).

While I’m beyond grateful that he’s still with us, when I came home for the holidays this year I noticed that he’s looking pretty rough. I keep seeing clumps of dirt (or whatever it is he’s getting into, at one point I swear it was chocolate despite my family NEVER leaving anything like that out where the cats can get into it) in his fur that he’ll just leave there. His back claws in particular look like they’re caked in mystery gunk. I don’t think he’s being neglected or anything, but between the blindness and all the crap he went through with his leg I don’t think he’s been able to keep up and groom himself as thoroughly as he used to. It looks really uncomfortable, especially considering how persnickety he was about keeping clean in the past.

I definitely don’t have the expertise to properly groom him myself, and given how old he is + his recent injury I don’t feel comfortable learning through youtube university and potentially hurting him. Problem is, he’s kind of a monster. He was half feral when we got him, and it shows. He’s sweet most of the time, but can get overstimulated with little warning and tends to bite or scratch when that happens. I don’t think he’s ever bitten anyone outside of the family, but he still makes the vet + vet techs’ lives a living hell when we take him for a checkup unless we drug him first. Even when we DO drug him, if he gets pissed enough he’ll sometimes fight through it and struggle and yowl as if he was 100% lucid. Old age has done nothing to temper this, when he got injured this summer he fought so hard at the clinic that they had to knock him all the way out just to get an x-ray.

It feels negligent to just let him be filthy now that I’ve noticed it, but I also don’t want to put an elderly animal AND an innocent groomer through an unnecessary amount of stress just because I think his paws look icky. *I* think he would be more comfortable if he was nice and clean, but he seems happy and perky so it’s very possible he doesn’t even care. I’ve never taken an animal to a groomer before and I have no idea what the etiquette is.

If tumblr doesn’t think it would be too bad, I’ll bring the idea of getting him professionally groomed up with my parents. If y’all think I’d be an asshole for putting him + a groomer through that, I’ll back off and let him live his best pigpen life.

Pet tax (blind old man in his “thank you for surviving” gift, a brand new heated bed):

What are these acronyms?

[dwtdog]

My work for Project: End Poem :D

i like this player / it played well / it did not give up

I like this player.

Dream’s shitty apartment is too small for pacing, but he does it anyway. Back and forth and back and forth over and over, the sounds of his footsteps drowned out by the buzz of his thoughts.

He’s felt out of balance for a while now- ever since he uploaded that first video. Before (before before before) everything was planning and studying and notes and calls with anyone he could get to agree to it. And then it had become filming and editing and that eternal moment before he pushed the button that would make the video public. A beginning. And an ending, of the before. 

Planning had felt real. He could scroll through the words upon words stored in documents, or even rifle through the notebook he kept on his desk, the pages soft and well-used in his hands, his writing jumbled and messy. But the numbers now- they feel like a dream, almost fittingly. Climbing impossibly higher every time he checks, far surpassing any expectation he’d had. 

But they can’t be real, because he can’t pay his rent this month.

His savings have run dry, exactly in the amount of time he’d predicted they would. It had been more than enough time. But he can’t pay rent.

His parent's words echo in his head- if you do this, you won’t be moving back in with us. That had certainly lit a fire under his ass- prove them wrong, prove everyone wrong. But the time is ticking down, and he can’t pay rent.

Oh, sure, the money’s on the way. His first check from YouTube, delayed by paperwork, is more than enough to cover this month’s and the next. But it’s not here. And the numbers keep going up, but Dream’s life is the same. Same shitty apartment, same 24 hours in a day.

His laptop sits open on his bed, and he’s doing his best to avoid looking at it. The looping screensaver plays on repeat, catching in the corner of his eye when he passes it, and he has half a mind to close the damn thing, end its taunting. Oh, you thought you could make something of yourself online? Think again. 

He freezes in the middle of the room so abruptly that he nearly falls forward with the momentum of it. 

And before he can talk himself out of it, he scoops the laptop up and enters his password, starting a Teamspeak call before all but running to his desk to grab headphones and returning to sit on his bed with the laptop balanced on his thighs, the call initiating. 

This is a familiar action- late night (early morning?) calls with friends. Dream has never been shy about asking his friends for input on ideas, or thoughts of their own, especially his friends who are well-established in the field he wants to play. It's them he has to thank for a large part of his motivation. And it's them he calls on now, when his mind spells doom and his circumstances feel suffocating.

“Dream?” a voice asks, marred by digital interference but comforting all the same.

Dream smiles at the screen. “Bad,” he says. “I might need your help.”

“New video idea?” Bad asks, and the quality of the call seems to settle, Bad’s voice far clearer. He yawns, and Dream makes a point of not looking at the time. 

“Not quite,” Dream mumbles.

“What was that?”

“It’s not a video idea. Or anything similar,” he swallows. As confident as Dream is in his friends, money is a different matter. Can ruin lives, friendships, and especially new YouTube channels if one isn’t careful.

Bad hums reassuringly. “Whatever it is, you can ask. I can’t guarantee that I can help but it never hurts to ask.”

“You’re so wise Bad,” Dream jokes. “And old.” He feels himself relaxing, and in tandem, his mind clears. 

“Aren’t you asking for my help? I could leave right now.”

“No, no! I’m sorry, You’re not old,” Dream says quickly, adding not that old to himself. 

“That’s what I thought,” Bad says smugly, and Dream can hear his chair squeaking and imagines him leaning back in it with his arms crossed, although, strangely, his minds eye seems to envision Bad as a the shape of a person with his Minecraft character overlaid, rather than the very real person Dream knows Bad to be, and has seen on video. He’s been spending too much time inside- it’d be good to get out once the rent issue is solved.

“Well,” Dream starts. “I told you about my problems getting money from YouTube, right?” 

“You did.”

Dream sighs, thinking of all the trouble it’d been so far just to get the first check. “Well, it’s still not here. And my rent is due in a few days, and if it doesn’t get here in time I’m- I’m out of luck. And money.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Dream, you muffinhead, how much do you need?”

And Dream giggles, the small smile on his face growing impossibly bigger as he tells Bad the amount, and as they go back and forth on whether Bad should just send the money right away (Dream argues that there’s still a chance the money could come in time, while Bad says he might as well just send it now- just in case).

In the end, they hang up the call a half hour later, Dream’s worries assuaged and with a promise to Bad that he’d tell him immediately if he’ll need the money.

And when Dream wakes up the next day to a check from YouTube deposited in his account, it’s not just Bad who joins a call to celebrate with him- George and Sapnap are there too, and finally, finally, everything feels real.

It played well

“That was perfect!” his instructor says, and Dream smiles before slouching against the wall, entirely out of breath.

No one ever told him dancing would be so hard.

Well, some had. His instructor, the nice lady who now hands him a water bottle and tells him to take a small break, had warned him plenty. But he’d foolishly thought she was only saying it as a courtesy, so he’d have an excuse if he struggled- and boy, did he. 

Maybe it was a consequence of being locked inside for years, or maybe it was just his natural affinity for clumsiness. 

Either way, he’d been preparing for his concert for a few weeks now, and it feels like he’s hardly improved. Between vocal coaching and dance lessons- ‘choreography’ he insists when George and Sapnap tease- it had been nonstop learning and working in LA. Away from his cat, and his house, and his friends. And content. 

But the smile doesn’t fade from his face even as he finishes off the water and steps away from the wall to stretch, arms over his head and legs extended until he’s balancing on his toes. And the burn of his muscles is so good. 

A physical reminder of his work, his improvement. Sure, he’s still not the best, but he’s gotten better. And his future spells more lessons, more growth, until finally, finally-

He steps on the stage in a mask.

Orlando. Home. Lights and screaming and music, counting down and counting in. And he’s more nervous than he’s ever been, because finally, finally, finally, the numbers are real.

It did not give up.

Code is swimming in front of Dream’s eyes like a school of fish, and his head is aching something dreadful, but he refuses to look away from his monitor.

He doesn’t know what the time is- sure that if he did check, he’d have some sort of crisis. Every other member of his (albeit small) team went to sleep hours ago, the project left in lines of unfinished code and an increasingly bizarre contraption sprouting from the gym floor.

But Dream, better than anyone, knows how close they are. 

Testing earlier had gone well- messing with particle mechanics and getting the shape so, so close. But something in the actual imaging kept going wrong, so they’d called it for the day. 

And Dream had tried to sleep, really. But every moment lying in bed felt like time he could be using to work, and sleep was elusive. So he’d ended up back at his computer. Alone in the dead of night.

The world fades away around him as he works, until he falls asleep at his desk- keyboard an unfortunate pillow. He wakes with the letters imprinted on his cheeks, and code he doesn’t remember writing. But it looks good. It looks complete and promising and so full of potential that Dream is out of his chair and heading across the house to the gym before the indents of his keycaps have faded from his skin.

George is in the kitchen.

“Dream?” he asks, setting a yogurt cup down. “You’re up early.”

A glance at the clock on the oven tells Dream it’s nearly three in the afternoon. “I want to try something,” he says. “You wanna come with?”

George nods, following him out of the house and to the gym, yawning several times as they go. 

“You’ve got something on your face by the way,” George giggles, but it quickly turns to a frown. “Did you sleep at your desk?”

“I didn’t mean to,” Dream grumbles, pushing the door to the gym open and flicking the lights on. George snorts.

They’re quiet as Dream fiddles with the mess of a contraption in the middle of the room. He’s careful with it, always so careful, and George watches from the sides. When everything is in place, Dream’s hands are shaking with excitement. There’s something in the air that tastes like success.

“Do you want to go in?” he asks, gesturing between the machine and George. George shrugs, then nods, careful as he ducks into the contraption. “Okay just- I think it’s going to work.”

“Really?” George asks, and for as much as he teases Dream about deadlines, for as often as Dream is wrong, it sounds like he believes it too.

Dream can’t speak in the moment, so he just nods.

They’ve got a PC set up in the gym, and he turns to it, loading into the server they use for all testing of FUSION. He’s alone in the world, for the moment, the rig George stands in waiting to be called on by a command.

Dream types it in, having to go back and re-enter the letters several times with his hands still unsteady. And when everything is ready, he pauses before hitting enter, looking up to meet George’s eyes.

“Ready?” he asks.

“Ready.” George responds, bouncing on his feet. “What do I say? Hello world?”

“You’re so dumb,” Dream snorts. He doesn’t look away from George as he presses the final key, watching the flickering lights of the machinery, scared to look at the screen and see if he’s done it. 

“Stop being an idiot.” George says after a beat, waving his arms and looking pointedly at the monitor. 

Dream takes a breath, releases it. Turns his head.

And there it is.

George, in stunning resolution for being projected into fucking Minecraft, waving at him.

He looks between the two. Looks again. 

“Holy shit,” he breathes. “We did it.”

[shychick-52]

I will never get over the injustice of the fact that we never got a mutual hug between Sofia and Cedric. Not once, in all the times she hugged him, has he ever hugged her back.

Not even in season 4 when he finally turned over a new leaf and truly accepted/embraced his friendship with her, and how much he cared about her.

In season 2's 'Winter's Gift', there was a deleted storyboard/scene where they would have actually shared a hug at the end after Sofia gave him the homemade wand case for Wassailia, (which he was canonically overjoyed and touched to receive in the actual episode, saying it was the best present he ever got; it would have made the mutual hug all the more precious and meaningful, a milestone in their relationship, showing how much he truly had come to cherish her friendship). But I can't see any logical reason it would have gotten cut for time, because I don't see how that would have taken up any time at all, especially if it was meant to take place during the sweet "Happy holidays, Mr. Cedric" / "Yes, well, it is happy, isn't it?" exchange right at the end. And I can't see why the Disney higher-ups would have disapproved it, because it would have shown even more growth in Cedric's character. And not only were we deprived of a mutual hug, but there was no hug at all in the actual episode (it would have been so sweet to at least have Sofia hug him).

Near the end of season 2's 'The Enchanted Feast', after Sofia and Cedric manage to defeat Miss Nettle together, Sofia hugs him. And... it's not totally obvious, because Sofia was kind of in the way of his arm, but it does look like he either gave her a one-armed hug or at least affectionately patted her on the back (either way, it's absolutely adorable, and I can't stop rewinding it to this part every time I watch this episode). In any case, it's the closest we got to a canon shared hug between them (and maybe it was one), so it's one of my favorite scenes in the series! I don't know how to make gifs, so I'll try to show it in this clip (it's at the 0:34 mark) and in a couple screenshots:

The only time he TRULY hugged her back wasn't even 100% canon! It took place at the end of that cute 'Rain, Rain, Go Away' nursery rhyme short on Disney Junior's Youtube channel:

Now, if only that's what we'd got at the end of the series finale ('Forever Royal') after she thanked him for saving her from the amulet!! But not only did she not hug him at all one last time, but it would have been a perfect opportunity for him to be the one to initiate a hug, showing even more of his incredible character development and their bond:

Sofia the First~Forever Royal~Cedric Returns Sofia's Amulet (youtube.com)

It also was a missed opportunity for them to share a mutual hug at the end of the first episode of season 4 'Day of the Sorcerers' after Cedric earnestly expressed his gratitude to Sofia for defending him and advocating for a second chance to Roland (during the scene where Cedric was still on his knees after pleading for forgiveness to Roland, and Sofia returns his wand after Roland agrees to reinstate him as royal sorcerer). It really was a missed opportunity, because that the was the episode where Cedric finally truly chose friendship with Sofia over his evil dreams. But again, there was no hug at all:

And another fantastic opportunity would have been in s4's 'In Cedric We Trust', after Cedric sacrificed his safety to save Sofia's life, nearly injuring him. ("I can't believe how you saved me like that! You could have gotten really hurt!" / "So could you, Sofia."). Once again, zero hug at all (but it was so adorable how he took her by the hands, at least):

I would certainly hope that if Sofia had hugged him in all those scenes, he would have finally hugged her back!!

And again, him finally being the one to first hug her would have been FRIGGING EVERYTHING.

@sweetmariihs2 @fantadym @bettathanyou @moonypears-blog @cedric-my-beloved

[softpine]

can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

[hobisstar]

still with you | y!jungkook x fem!reader

summary: being the most famous and popular youtuber and singer has its kicks. great fans, terrible fans, weird fans, you’ve seen and had them all… but this fan? you wish you never had…

warnings: jk is WEIRD okay he’s weird asf in this, male masturbation, stalking, jungkook is an idol in this, mentions of kidnapping, murders, yandere.

tag list: none.

note: i’ll switch from You to Y/N a lot. Bold and Line Through. Are Jk’s negative thoughts, more so the weird ones. this is a preview imagine of spooktober!!

“so who’s your favorite singer, Jungkook?” an interviewer asked as they, BTS, where doing a short little tv appearance. the question was, who is an artist you’d love to collaborate with in the near future, everyone had their fair share of answers but the one person Jungkook had in mind was no other than, Y/N L/N.

She was bigger than any other singer or youtuber out there, with 45 Million subscribers on youtube and millions of fans over the world, she was everywhere. She has done video collaborations with CoryxKenshin, Berleezy, PG, DashieGames and many more. She is adored.

Jungkook found her channel when she was a newbie to the youtuber world. He liked the video of her trying on different clothes from all over the world, room tours, decorating, gaming videos, vlogs, but he got more into her once he found out she did music. He had to be the first person to ever really be her fan in his eyes, of course. He loved her for a very long time.

“I’d have to say, Y/N L/N… i love her… style and her youtube channel. i’m a huge fan!” he answered happily. The crowded went absolutely crazy as he’s always talked about Y/N. you would think they dated the way he promoted her so much.

“Really? she is coming her next Friday for an interview! did you hear she’s doing a world tour, starting with South K?” the interviewer asked. “Yes yes, i want to get me a ticket the minute they go on sale..” he smiled happily and the crowd awed at his answer.

“I’ll definitely let you guys know when my tickets go on sale, obviously! That’s it for now, until next time, see you!” You smiled ending the recording and big a stretch. You are glad that it was just a little clip that you need to edit to post out later, but boy was it tough being a youtuber, you loved it though.

As soon as you got up you heard your phone going off profusely. You went to grab it and saw it was twitter and you were being tagged in a certain posted. It was a video of Jungkook from BTS during a, which you assume, recent interview. “ I love her.” is what a lot of fans were saying in the comments. It was a quote of what Jungkook said in the video. Instead of really responding just yet you reshared the clip saying “ The love is mutual 💜 @BTS_twt!” and posted it.

You’ve always been a fan of BTS! You loved everything about them, the message they were sending out about loving yourself, taking care of you, living your life no matter what anyone has to say about it, you loved it all! You never really knew that Jungkook was a fan of yours. Little do you know you wished you never knew that..

“Kook, you’ve been literally staring at her retweet since we got back to the hotel.” Taehyung spoke out with his eyebrow up. “I’m starting to think this is a little more than a fan thing. You have a crush on her don’t you?” Jin in also chipped in, pinching Jungkooks cheeks. The two were ready to start to teasing him. “ Actually, i do.” he stated calmly still looking at the tweet thing clicking on her twitter account.

“ Oh, we thought we had a chance to tease you… fuck.” Taehyung said as the elevator dinged. “ Well, we will see you in a few for dinner? jimin and I have a Vlive to do. Get some rest!” He spoked as Him and Jimin stepped out the elevator and walked to jimins room.

Jungkook nodded and walked to his room, taking out his keycard and holding it to the door to open it. He sighed as he walked in and instantly decided to take a shower. He went into the bathroom, started the water, put on some music, Y/N of course, and got undressed.

He stepped into the shower and let out a moan of relaxation. Jung let the water run down his body and he closed his eyes. Soon, a picture of you appeared in his head. You and him, together, in the shower taking turns to clean each other. He took his hands that was covered in soap and grasped your beautiful tits and slowly massaged them. The image of him doing that sent a shock wave to his crotch, which he tried to ignore.

Slowly the image started to get steamy, your imaginary moans filled his ears making them melt. Jungkook grabbed his hard length that was dripping from the water and his precum. He began the stroke his cock slowly imagining it was your tight pussy. He moaned going faster feeling himself about the release any minute. He never lasted when he imagined it, but he promised you, kinda, that he’d go longer, seven days a week even. As he cummed and grunted watching his cum shoot all over the shower walls and some getting on the floor, he saw your face one last time and it was you giving you a sweet kiss on the tip of his cock that sent shivers up his spine.

After, he cleaned himself with some warm vanilla with brown sugar and almonds scented soap, your favorite, he got out, dried off, and got dressed. Jungkook looked at the time and saw he still had an hour to spare.

He went to bag and took out his computer and decided to watch a few of your videos. This is his day to day. You are his day to day schedule. No matter what, he will get at least 5 videos of Y/N in a day.

Concerts were always fun! Making music was fun too! But once you heard that you would be collaborating with the Jeon Jungkook for a cover of his song Still With You, you were shocked! I mean less than A day ago, you found out that he was a huge fan, now you are collaborating with him?

You were currently in the studio rehearsing some of the notes when your manager walks in and says “ Hey! Mr, Jeon is on his way up! Just thought i should let you know.” He smiles and as your about to answer there is a soft knock. “ Come on in.” you say and stand up. Jungkook walks in and you almost gasp.

“Oh my you are more handsome in person.” Manager says lets out a little chuckle. “ I’m Tim, I’m her manager and that’s obviously -“ “ Y/N…” Jungkook cut Tim off before he could even get your name out. He couldn’t stop staring at you. Gosh, you are so beautiful in person. So small under his gaze. ‘i could take her from here, kill her manager and live off the grid, nobody would know. just so little…’

“ Right! It’s so nice to meet you, Jungkook! Um, you can sit here,” you point to the chair “ I’m gonna head in the booth to record these parts.” you smiled and took the paper in with you. Jungkook eagerly but slowly sat down in your chair. Watching as you put on the headset. Tim walked over and pressed a few buttons to make sure that it was recording. He put his thumb up and Y/N was in her own world.

“So, Jungkook, how long are you in the states for?” Tim asked leaning against the side of the frame, watching Y/N. Honestly, Jungkook hated Tim. He hated any that got close to what was his. He didn’t like it. When y/n did collaborate on videos he would report that video and thumbs down it. Even with songs he wouldn’t listen to it. He hated Tim because he wish he was Tim. Near her 24/7, being able to touch her, smell her, make her laugh, pick her outfits, take her to dinner, all the things Tim could do. He wanted Tim out the picture. Now.

“ Well originally it wasn’t for long, but then this opportunity came up and i wasn’t going to miss it for anything.” He answered plainly also staring at Y/N but with a different look in his eyes, Lust, Love, and Fear. Fear for you seeing him do what he was about to do to Tim. He didn’t want his wife getting scared yet. They haven’t even moved away yet.

“Yeah same with her. I’m gonna step out. I have a few things to do for a few other artists. Have fun and make a beautiful hit, i already know it is.” Tim smiled and left just like that. Jungkook let a breath of fresh air out. Finally.

Finally. It was time. Jungkook got up and took off his jacket. It was getting hot in here to him, though he knows Y/N prefers her studio cold. He went to the light switched and looked up seeing the lights could be changed to colors, he chose purple. Your favorite.

Y/N stepped out of the recording booth and closed the door to it and sat back down. You instantly went over your vocals and nodded your head liking how they came out. “ they are beautiful… perfect even.” Jungkook mumbled from behind you and pulled up a chair sitting a little too close to you. You definitely noticed it.

“Thank you, Jungkook.” Y/N smiled and stood up to look at a few things and Y/N almost wanted to run. The whole vibe was off, y/n could feel his eyes looking her up down since he walked in the studio. Y/N sat back down quickly and turned to Jungkook and forced a smile. “ It’s your turn! while you record it have to go speak with Tim about what to do next. i’ll Play the track when you are ready.” He watched her lips move, oh how he wanted to kiss them.

Jungkook snapped out of his trance and stood up entering the recording booth and sliding on the headphones. He loved the smell of the booth, it smelled just like you. your scent. Y/N put her thumb up and pressed play and didn’t even wait for him to start singing. She got up and left the room closing the door and taking a deep breath putting her head on the door. “ What the fuck was that?” you mumbled.

“What was what?” Tim spoke which made you jump harshly. “ FUCK! Tim don’t do that shit!”

“ I.. are you okay? you seem kinda scared. what’s wrong?” Tim read your face and just knew that you were upset, frightened even. “ Tim, there is something extremely wrong with… him.” she whispered while looking around. “ Him? Mr. Jeon? what do you mean? he seemed fine when i left.” He raises his eyebrow. “ Maybe you’re just nervous, Honey.”

While Y/N was in the hallway, Jungkook was done singing his lines and exited the booth, smiling. He wanted to impress Y/N with his beautiful vocals. “ That was… Y/N?” he said looking around the room, not seeing his girl in the chair. He calmed down and remembered that she had to do something. ‘Good, she didn’t run away.’

Jungkook sat down and waited for her.

10 minutes…

20 minutes…

25 minutes…

Finally, the door opened and walked Y/N with some refreshments. “ Sorry, the internet was a little slow.” she sits down and avoids his hand that he held out for the water bottle and placed it on the table. “ Let’s finish this for now so you can get going i’m sure you are very busy.” she said as she saved and downloaded both their vocals onto her flash drive.

“ Can i be honest with you, Y/N?” Jungkook asked while staring at the computer. She turned to look at him and then back at the computer, closing it. “ Yeah, of course.” she scooted back a bit to just give space. she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“ Im really… a huge fan of yours. I love everything you do..” he started. “ the feeling is mutual, Kook.” she commented and smiled. “ No, not in that light… Ever since i found your videos back in 2019, when you first started. I instantly felt this this connection. Like we belong together. I started liking your photos and videos everywhere and then i found out that you do music.. i just fell more in love with you.” As he confessed he was doing this weird smile like, he enjoyed telling Y/N his confession. “ Im in love with you.” he ended. Y/N was taken back. Her feeling wasn’t wrong. There is definitely something not right about him. this was it.

“ Oh, that’s so sweet! I appreciate it, Jungkook.. but i don’t know what you want from me after telling me that, I.. I feel as though maybe we just keep it professional. just two artists being friends yeah?” Y/N stood up and began to pack her things up. Jungkook felt something click in his head. Like a switch turned off. “ I don’t… i dont understand… You don’t… love me back?” he asked also standing up. “ Be friends?… what do you take me as? Do you like toying with me?”

“ What? Jungkook that’s not… i never did that.” Y/N answered confused. “ Oh baby don’t be confused. You said all those times you love me. You even twitted the feeling is mutual.” He stepped toward Y/N corning her between the table and his tall stature.

Y/N turned around slowly, “Listen, i didn’t mean it like that. And if you are going to talk to me, please give me some space.” He looked in your eyes and chuckled lightly. “ Why would we need space… i finally have you this close to me… i’m not letting it go.” He gently took the hair that was falling in front of your face and pushed it behind your ear. You leaned away from the touch and pushed him with all your strength. He moved back enough for you to get to the door with your bag and open it. You flew out the room the last thing you heard was Jungkook humming.

You walked- no you ran through the car lot looking for your car, all of sudden not being able to remember where you parked this morning. You stopped to catch your breath and smiled once you saw your car.

You pressed the unlock button and quite literally jumped in your car and locked the doors. You put your hand on the steering wheel and just thought about what all happened. Jeon Jungkook just admitted to being madly in love with you. You should be happy, right? You are terrified. He stalked you basically your entire career and has been in love with you since you started your career. You can’t be happy after hearing that.

You got it together and grabbed your car keys and put it in the ignition, starting your car and driving home.

You should really check your back seats more..

You happily went inside your apartment and instantly took a shower. You didn’t forget about what happened the few hours before but the shower just eased your mind.

Once you got out and got dressed, the pitch blackness of your bedroom comforted you usually, But it made you uneasy. As it should.

You got in bed and sleep quickly took over you but not enough, as you awoke to hearing your bed room door creak close. You were scared shitless to even get up, fear making your body go numb. You heard that same melody again, that now cursed melody of Still With You. Jungkook was humming it before you ran out.

‘oh my…’ you mouthed as you felt the bed dip and someone get under the covers with you and slowly wrap their arms around you.

“ Good Night, Baby~. Tomorrow is a big day for us. Our new beginning.” Jungkook whispered into your ear and kissed your neck softly before sighing and singing you to sleep. That same cursed song…

“언제쯤일까 다시 그댈 마주한다면

When will I face you again?

눈을 보고 말할래요

I want to look you in the eye and tell you

"보고 싶었어요"

"I missed you"