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organic-guacamole · 3 years

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showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ej caswell #gina porter #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #howie my pizza king #lily hsmtmts

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annetteblog · 4 years

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Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone.

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??”

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance.

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly.

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

/as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet.

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed.

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience.

P.S. And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian. i like it better and what will u do haha

#jikook #kookmin #what am i even doing here #i'm gonna regret this #long post

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gloves94 · 4 years

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A Slytherin [Harry x Slytherin!Reader]

Anonymous Requested:

hi idk if you do these but could u write abt Harry x slytherin oc :) it can be any topic u want angst fluff smut or whatever... I haven’t been able to find anything with Harry and a slytherin girl it’s crazy 💔💔

Rating: PG Warnings: Fluff! Words: 2490 Pairing: Harry x Slytherin!Reader A/N: Hope you like it! Proud of my House! I’ve never really read Harry fanfic so I hope I captured his character right!

Some say being a Slytherin is a curse, but others, truly wise individuals, would differ.

Some sneer and look down at Slytherins for being the House associated with antiquated prejudice and outgrown wizarding ideologies from another time. The House of the Evil, The House of You-Know-Who, The Heirs of Salazar Slytherin.

Ambition. Cunning. Leadership. Resourcefulness.

Are the traits that one’s branded with a crest bearing an emerald snake above their hearts cherish. Traits that can allow one to go far and succeed in whatever it is the witch or wizard’s most deep desires is, regardless of the darkness or the apparent impossibility of the goal.

Nothing is impossible for a Slytherin.

Not even such a feat such as making Harry Potter fall in love.

xxx

“I want him,” The Slytherin confidently claimed her objective from across the Great Hall. She ate her food mindlessly a determined glint in her eyes.

“Who?” Millicent Bullstrode asked squinting her eyes to try and see who her chamber mate could possibly be referring to. The other Slytherin girls attempted to catch a glimpse of whomever she could’ve been referring to.

“Potter?” Pansy Parkinson gagged and turned her head back quickly to grimace in horror to her friend.

“Yes,” She admitted with an overconfident smirk stretching on her lips.

Pansy gaped in horror bringing a hand to her mouth. “Salazar’s beard,” She gasped shaking her head. “But why?” “He’s so arrogant and thinks he’s untouchable,” She scoffed bitterly at Dumbledore’s favorite. “Saint Potter… He’s not even fully one of our kind,” She spat referring to his lack of blood status.

The infatuated Slytherin ignored her and continued to gaze from a far. She was currently fixating on Harry’s permanently messy hair.

“I don’t care.”

She really didn’t. None of that mattered to her. Didn’t know what it was she liked about Harry so much. Her not so secret crush had always been a part of her, kind of like an itch on your nose. It’s right in your face, comes and goes, but you can’t quite put your finger in it. Maybe it was his loyalty to his friends, his bravery, maybe it was how unwaveringly kind he seemed to be to everyone, even to her despite the fact they were both in rivaling Houses. Or maybe it was something else. He was also easy on the eyes.

“Oh, you know how she is,” Daphne Greengrass sighed with an amused smile as she drank her cup of tea. “Loves chasing waterfalls, maybe just as much as Potter loves breaking the rules.”

“It’s never going to happen,” Daphne added lightly nudging her friend. “You know, that right?”

All Slytherin girls arched their eyebrows in agreement.

“That’s okay,” She smiled confidently. “I like the chase.”

Stunned Millicent shook her head in disbelief, “This I gotta see.”

“Ugh!” Pansy exclaimed frustrated. “You’re going to give the House a bad name!” She protested. “Not to mention we’ll probably lose points!”

From across the Great Hall, Ron Weasley elbowed his distraught best friend. Harry was as per usual deep in thought, stressed and distracted by the fact that there was a psychopath plotting to hunt him down (and no not the Slytherin girl).

“She’s starring at you again mate,” Ron spoke in a low voice leaning over.

“Who?” Harry asked not quite paying attention to his surroundings.

“Do you ever pay attention?” Hermione asked looking over her shoulder over to the Slytherin table.

“That Slytherin girl.” Ron also starred. “What did you do to her, she seems- angry?”

Hermione rolled her eyes dramatically and shook her head. “Honestly, the both of you,” Sometimes she struggled to believe that the three of them had somehow managed to outsmart the Dark Lord for more than a handful of years now. Both completely oblivious. Hermione closed her book shut and shaking her head and packed up her stuff. She would let the two of them figure this one out.

“Now what?” Ron asked raising his hands. “What’d I say?”

Harry shrugged just as confused. He turned away from Ron and raised his gaze to meet the Slytherin girl’s. He was surprised however to find that she did not look away. Instead, she kept her gaze steady and a slow smile stretched across her features. There was a mischievous look in her eyes a confident allure that entrapped him and wouldn’t allow him to tear his eyes away.

It was then that he learned she would be nothing but trouble.

Xxx

Trouble always seemed to have a way of finding him.

Trouble had an alluring look.

Trouble was approaching. Harry wasn’t sure if she bumped into him or if he was the one to not mind his step.

Trouble had found him.

“Oh,” She said accidentally dropping the books she had been carrying. “Merlin,” She muttered innocently under her breath kneeling and picking up her scattered notes and texts.

“I’m sorry,” Harry apologized bending down and being the gentleman, he was helping her pick up her books. Snitches and Witches: Women in Quidditch, Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts, and It’s a Muggle’s World.

Wow, all of these books- they were all topics he was interested in. “You’re-“ He began to acknowledge her name.

“Thanks Harry,” She thanked and took her book from his hand. “You know my name?” The Gryffindork seemed a little startled by this.

“Well, of course I do,” She tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. “I mean, it’s in our History of Magic book,” She smiled at him sweetly and stood up.

Ah, yes of course.

Harry was about to ask her another question, but she left him standing with the word on the tip of his tongue.

“I have to go,” She batted her eyelashes at him. “Nice running into you Harry,” she smiled at him before walking away. There it was again that teasing smile that seemed to scream danger, those crazy eyes that seemed to peer into his soul and the trailing scent of sweet perfume he had smelled somewhere before as she walked away from him and turned back to flash him a smile he wouldn’t forget. To his surprise Harry found she had forgotten a parchment behind. He called for her, but she had already vanished around the corridor.

Curious he picked up the note and unfolded it.

‘Meet me in the Forbidden Books Section at Midnight.’

Xxx

Of course, it had been planned.

Everything leading up to this event had been planned. It had been weeks of flirting from a distance. From little innocent looks to even smiling at each other from across the classroom.

Only a Slytherin would be resourceful enough to ask around what Harry Potter’s interest where, what his timetables looked like, where he spent most of his time, who his closest friends are, did he have any love interest?

Ginny Weasley who?

“Oi, Blaise,” Our protagonist said to her friend during History of Magic. “Didn’t you say you found girl Weasley to be attractive?”

Blaise simply shot her a glare. Why on Earth would he ever go for a blood traitor such as Weasley? “I bet you even a handsome bloke like yourself wouldn’t be able to woo her,” She gave Zabini a sly look. He ignored her. “I guess even she’s out of your reach Zabini,” she let out a sigh slightly dropping her shoulders.

Determined. Unaware of the manipulation. That made Blaise Zabini take Ginny Weasley out of the picture. At least temporarily which was part of the Slytherin’s ambitious plan.

That meant she wouldn’t be a distraction anymore.

It was midnight and the Slytherin girl patiently awaited hidden in the Forbidden Books section. She was careful not to be seen when leaving the Slytherin dormitory. It would be unfortunate if a prefect on duty or even worse if Snape himself caught her sneaking out.

Even worse, caught her sneaking out to see Harry Potter.

Hearing footsteps, she turned around yet saw no one. Just dusty books and moonlight creeping through the large windows. She was alone in the library, or so it seemed.

Eyes wide, she held her wand ready to light the room or attack if necessary.

There was no one there.

Paranoid she once again lowered her guard. It seemed like Harry was late, but he was definitely showing. She had no doubt about it. Everything had been calculated and carefully planned. He was at least that much of a man to reject her to her face and not stand her up.

Another wooden creak.

Turning once again this time with her wand lifted, she knew there was definitely somebody watching her.

“Who goes there?” She barked her tone demanding.

She wasn’t expecting a small yell to be caught in the back of her throat when a hand was placed on her mouth suddenly silencing her. Harry magically appeared before her eyes unraveling from an invisible cloak.

“Shhh….” He whispered holding her close. “Snape is here.”

Both turned to look towards the entrance of the Forbidden section where they could see light creep through the opening door.

Without any hesitation Harry pulled the invisible cloak over both of them hiding them from any prying eyes. The two pressed their bodies against the wall of books. Shoulders rubbing together from the closeness. She could smell the scent of his shampoo. What was that delicious scent sandalwood? The Slytherin’s breath hitched as her heart began to race. This had not been part of the plan.

She didn’t even want to think about what Snape would do to her. The two might even be expelled having been found in such an inappropriate setting.

“I know Potter is grandiosely skulking around Professor.” “You best be right Malfoy,” Snape sneered back at his student as the two carefully looked around the room. The Professor seemed more irritated than ever, the circles under his eyes darker from lack of sleep.

The Slytherin cursed under her breath. Leave it to Draco to want to bust Potter in the act of sneaking out. No doubt the selfish prick didn’t mind her being part of the collateral as long as Potter suffered.

“I thought I heard something,” Draco said passing right in front of them. Nervous, the girl clung to Harry’s arm tightly squeezing it as the two held their breaths. One wrong move, a sneeze a loud breath and both would be in serious trouble.

“I heard he was meeting a girl here,” Malfoy continued. His head rapidly turning around as he scanned the room for any clue that Harry might be here.

Harry turned his head and then whispered, “I don’t think they’re leaving any time soon,” not that she minded being like this all night. When Snape and Malfoy were a safe distance away. His closeness and hot breath on her ear made the girl’s skin curl with goosebumps. Her grip on his arm relaxed slightly. Using her cunning the Slytherin quickly devised a plan.

“Not on my watch,” she muttered sticking her wand to poke out of the cloak. She pointed at the entrance of the library from a far and with some quick spell work made the door open and-

SLAM!

The slam shattered the loud silence in the room and instantly Malfoy and Snape turned towards it. “They’re leaving!” Draco exclaimed as the two fell for the red herring and rushed out of the room with their wands out.

Neither Harry nor the Slytherin moved an inch. Both remained still petrified in their closeness waiting to be sure the Slytherins were gone. An eternal minute passed before Harry let out a loud breath of relief. Laughing, the girl removed the cloak, the Gryffindor couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact they had almost gotten caught. He watched her in the dim moonlight appreciating how proud she looked at her accomplishment.

Realizing this she looked at him too, this time shyly, tugging a lose strand of hair behind her ear. Both had almost forgotten why they were here.

“So, you came?” She approached him boldly.

He couldn’t remove her eyes from hers and suddenly Harry felt cornered by her presence.

“We’d be good together, don’t you think?” She said playing with the insides of her sleeves. Harry swallowed hard, suddenly losing his voice. “See, that’s why I came,” He managed to say, his voice dropping to a lower tone.

There was so much on Harry’s plate always. Everyone around him was constantly in danger. He was a Gryffindor, and she was a Slytherin, both were supposed to be natural enemies. His friends would hate her and hers already hated him. Any information any activity – with so many Slytherins involved in You-Know-Who’s doing it was especially dangerous for her. But why did he want to go against the logical choice? Why did he want to say yes to her so badly?

“What if..” He began but couldn’t bring himself to spiel his miserable thoughts to her. “I’ll break your heart,” he shook his head regretfully.

Not to mention those moment when You-Know-Who... Those dark flashes he couldn’t control. He could hurt her.

He was expecting her to falter, to step down and walk away but instead she laughed a little, almost with arrogance. “Nobody breaks my heart,” She paused. “But maybe I’ll break yours,” She smiled coyly reaching for the edge of his crimson robes.

“I’m sorry,” He sincerely apologized to her.

Nodding bitterly, she finally stepped away with her head lowered with the embarrassment from his rejection, her eyes avoiding his perturbing green ones. Accepting they were star crossed lovers.

Feeling guilty Harry tried to make his rejection less painful.

“It would never work out,” he began to explain. “We’re too different, our Houses are enemies, and then there’s Voldem-“

“So, you don’t deny it?” She interrupted him. This time glaring at him with a terrifying fearlessness. They weren’t the eyes of somebody that had accepted rejection. He looked struck by her determination.

“You don’t deny you’re just as attracted to me as I am to you?” If he accepted, she would step down, she would leave him alone. However- if he didn’t deny his feelings…

Harry was quiet for a moment before speaking. “I don’t,” He admitted truthfully.

The Slytherin couldn’t help but smile at his confession. “Then?” She took his warm hands in hers. They were larger, square, welcoming and well fitting against hers like a complete puzzle. “So what? Who cares what the others think? I don’t,” Her smile grew, and she leaned in closer to him. So close her voice also dropped. “Besides, like I said, we’d be good together. Together there’s nothing we can’t handle. Even You-K-“ She reassured him with boldness. “Even Voldemort,” speaking the taboo name tasted odd to her.

Her hand was greeted by the cold absence of his.

Maybe this had all been one foul idea…

Maybe he was right.

Feeling his hand caress her face she stood struck by the gentle gesture. He spoke her name so quietly she almost didn’t hear him. “Can I kiss you?” He asked tenderly. His fingers tracing her cheek before advancing to bury into the hair on the nape of her neck.

She responded by leaning forward, brushing her nose against his and pressing her lips against his. She didn't mind his glasses, she didn’t mind this one bit. The Slytherin held him close her arms gently slithering up and clinging around his neck greedily holding him. He held her head in place tilting it to the side as their lips touched in a sweet kiss in the empty darkness. His lips were so soft, welcoming, they moved against hers perfectly, even gently nabbed at hers. It was everything she had dreamt about.

She smiled into the kiss, after all, a Slytherin always gets what they want.

xxx

Hope you liked it!

Harry Potter Masterlist

My Masterlist

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marikaaajoy · 4 years

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my relationship with digital art and how BNHA salvaged it

I just wanted to let out my thoughts but I can only do it here :>

This might be a downer for some people but I’d like to share it with people here. BNHA means the world to me and this is why.

I first started drawing when I was 7 years old in 2006

I think it’s ugly now, but 7 year old me remembered being so proud of this because this is a drawing of my stepfather. This is the only drawing I have that was from my childhood. I think the aim here is to draw in anime style BUT I didn’t even watch anime back then. I had a classmate who loves anime and she taught me to draw in school. Drawing became a favorite hobby immediately after that.

Then it was 2013 and I was 14 years old. Drawing is still my favorite thing to do besides being on the computer. I love anime at this point too. My parents bought an iPad for the whole family, but I was almost always the one using it. I discovered an app called ArtStudio and thought “Wow, I can draw without making a mess and with only my fingers” because I was always too lazy to take out my drawing materials and clean up afterwards.

These were my first digital drawings. The pirate one was the very first. I got obsessed real fast. I can color so easily, undo any mistake, layers are a blessing too. There was just so much more freedom. I always sucked at coloring in traditional art and I didn’t like the mess (idk my hands get so messy traditionally)

The next year, it was 2014, I was 15. My birthday is in a couple of months and I knew my parents were planning to buy me something pricey (I think it was a laptop) so I approached them and asked if they could just buy the Wacom Bamboo as a present which was cheaper anyway and I even explained how it works to them and how it would allow me to draw on the computer instead of the iPad. I tried really hard to be convincing. I would have prepared a powerpoint presentation if I had to.

They did give me the wacom as a present. They even gave it to me months before my birthday so I could use it already. I thought I was the luckiest teen in the world with my parents.

These are a collection of my favorite works from 2014 to 2016. The middle one was my second drawing using wacom and Paint Tool SAI. I was a part of a lot of fandoms in those years lol

It gets downhill from there :/

April 2016, my mom and I moved to Japan, while my stepfather and siblings stay in my country. It was tough. For someone who is obsessed with anime, you’d think I’d be thrilled to live in Japan.

I was. Though only at the first few months. It’s not the same as it’s portrayed in anime (I should’ve known but I used to be blinded by anime). It was just lonely. The language barrier sucked and then lots of financial and family issues until my parents split. I got my first boyfriend too and I thought I was blessed by the nicest boy, but the relationship became extremely toxic but I didn’t have it in me to walk away.

All the shit that happened affected me mentally and emotionally. My biggest outlet which was digital drawing, was also out of the question because I did not have a computer/laptop when we moved to Japan. We left it in our home for my stepfather and siblings, even the iPad. I have my wacom with me, but no computer/laptop to use it with. I couldn’t draw.

I tried though. I used my phone to draw, but it wasn’t the same. Then the life problems got piled up, things got worse, and I just lost motivation in anything. Literally anything. From 2016 to 2019, I stopped watching anime, I dropped out of all the fandoms I’m in, I stopped watching my favorite TV series or movies, and I stopped drawing. I even got a bit disconnected with my friends who lived in my country (we talk regularly online). My family was broken so I gave all my attention to my toxic relationship as well which made everything worse too lol

I didn’t draw besides from a few scribbles and the drawings above. I did try digital art on my phone a couple of times again and even posted them on my IG, but they weren’t any good. Eventually, I got mentally and emotionally drained and dropped out of senior high school. I just stayed home for almost a year, leeching off of my mom. I felt even more worthless and my life had no direction at this point. Nothing mattered anymore.

April 2019 or so I think, my (ex)bf bought me a laptop. He says it’s a gift, but I think the real reason was to make up for something horrible that he did (which is stupid because money /gifts won’t resolve anything). I have a laptop. I can draw again, but I didn’t. I didn’t care, I wasn’t interested in drawing anymore anyway.

Welp. June 2019, I went back to my country. My (ex) bf stayed in Japan. The distance helped me end the relationship and my friends were there (they always were) to help put me back together along with two trips to therapy. I went back to finish my senior high school in my own country this time. That said, I have to stay in my country for school (but I was happy because I didn’t wanna go back to Japan yet when the breakup was still fresh and with going back to school, my life has a direction again.)

It was weird. I remember just being sorta lost and confused because I used to put my time, effort and everything into my previous toxic relationship, which was now gone. I was free and I had so much free time that I didn’t know what to do with it. I got so used to doing nothing and being nothing.

This is where BNHA enters.

Dunno when it started, but I started seeing Bakugou frequently online. It’s usually just Bakugou. I knew who he was because my friend suggested BNHA to me back in late 2018 I think but I didn’t watch it since I’ve lost interest in everything at that point in my life.

But ye I thought he hot af but I still didn’t watch BNHA.

But then for some reason he REALLY kept appearing in my social medias and it was really frequent. The last straw was when I saw a pic of him in UA’s gym uniform and thought “damn boi aight imma watch bnha for u” (y’all gotta admit he looks good in those colors with his combat boots XD )

I watched BNHA. Fell in love with Iida along the way. Then I switched to Tokoyami (but Shoji was hot too so aaaaa), but then angry emotionally-constipated sea urchin head caught my heart again. But oof. BakuDeku moments really made me feel some type of way I haven’t felt since I moved to Japan. It felt new but nostalgic. I fell hard in that ship.

I started obsessing. From memes to posts to fanfictions to buying merch to filling my room with BNHA posters. I realized I was reverting to my old self from the time I was still happy and it was thanks to BNHA (and the good people who helped me through the worst too)

Shit I wanted to draw BNHA, I thought.

I mean, I have a laptop, I still have my wacom and drawing softwares. I could totally draw digitally again if I wanted to.

But guess what

I can’t :c

My hand physically cannot draw. My drawings don’t look the way I want them too. 3 years of not drawing really destroyed any skill I had. I was back to square one.

September (yeah they’re ugly, I laughed at it). If you’re wondering why I drew on paper, it’s because, for some reason, I really CANNOT draw digitally. I mean it. I can barely sketch digitally at this point. The lines and shapes just doesn’t come to life. They’re just scribbles. But somehow, I can kinda draw on paper with a ballpoint pen. But yeah, that was the best I could do at this point in my life

After that, I still tried to draw, to regain my old art style, but it didn’t happen... It just doesn’t look or feel the same. Drawing used to be fun. But during this phase, it felt like my ugly drawings were just mocking me (probably was just too emo that time lol)

Weirdly, around a week or two I think, after my half-assed attempts at drawing, I managed to draw digitally somehow o.o

I did a Midoriya and Todoroki drawing like this too. It was my first post here on Tumblr I think. The annoying part here is that I cannot draw digitally unless I draw on paper first, take a pic, and then trace the lineart. I couldn’t draw directly on the computer. Granted, drawing on paper and drawing on digital is very different for me in the first place anyway. But it was still a pain. And it still looked like shit. I can only draw stiff poses :/ it seems like my brain decided to delete all data about anatomy and posture and backgrounds. My lineart here is even messy af. It still really not the same as my old style.

By 2020, I think I got my old art style back. On March, I made this. This took me 27 total of hrs to make.

Right now, I think it’s not bad, but back in March, I was disappointed with the result. This is when I finally broke down crying because it didn’t look good enough and I hated that it took me 27 hrs to draw “bullshit.” I was angry at myself for losing interest in drawing for 3 years when I could’ve used that time to improve. I had to start all over again and it still didn’t look good. (Current me thinks that the drawing above is alright. I was just a lot harsher to myself back then. Used to have a lot of issues but I’m doing great now)

I cried myself to sleep that night. Woke up wanting to cry again. I wallowed in sadness for a couple of days. Eventually told my friends what’s up. Got some pep talk. Even talked to my sister (she’s great, she always hypes me up with my stuff and sometimes I think she’s my biggest fan with how she appreciates my drawings and I’m really grateful for that).

My world turned a 180 and I was weirdly positive after all that crying because brain chemicals and shit. I had a revelation. If I hate how my art style looked so much, then I should have been putting effort in changing my art style, not trying to regain my old art style (that I don’t like anymore)

I researched a lot. I analyzed different art styles and anatomy again. I did everything I could think of to find a style that works for me. I might have even neglected school for a bit to focus on digital art lmao

After all that work, I posted a fanart of middle school BakuDeku in their classroom. I love that fanart so much even if I probably have better ones by now because that was the first fanart I made that I felt like I could be proud of and it was the first one I made in my new art style. It was a milestone for me.

March 2020, I moved back to Japan and without the toxic relationship, I’m a lot positive now. Happy. I’m myself again after the previous bad years. I’m still continuously learning though, trying to improve, but at least, now, I found my own art style :) I really suck at interacting with people online, but I’m always grateful for the support everyone has been giving my fanarts. I’m happy when my content makes people happy.

This is why BNHA is important to me. The series is great alone, but it’s not just that to me. BNHA is so much more. It’s what made me find the passion to create again, only this time, it’s focused on drawing (I used to write, but now I just draw, but maybe I’ll write again for BNHA).

My family is supportive with my love for BNHA, but I think they don’t know the deeper reason why I love it. Sure, I was fine living on with nothing much going on in my life. I’ll finish school, get a job, work until I die or something. It was okay. It was the way of life. But BNHA gave my life color again. I wasn’t just blindly going through life anymore. I have something to look forward to everyday now. BNHA even became a bridge to other things. Ever since then, I’m a lot more open to people, to try new things, to explore and not just live through life and waste away. I got better at leaving my comfort zone. I’ve never been happier in my life :D

Thank you for supporting my fanarts. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to express myself through BNHA. I hope to make more content in the future and improve even more :)

#plus ultra #<3 #personal

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beigejournals · 4 years

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Season 5 Lucifer

welcome to my unsolicited thoughts about Season 5 of Lucifer.

as an avid and veteran series binger AND a talker-while-watching-a-movie-or-series-but-does-not-want-to-spoil-anything-for-my-friends type of person, i have finally dedicated a space and found a good way to let all my thoughts out as i watch a movie or series when i am alone when i can’t bother a lot of people because (1) they don’t want to be bothered and (2) i don’t want to spoil things for them.

so here are my thoughts, and of course, SPOILERS AHEAD.

BTW, i LOVED all of Lucifer! but this season was a slow burn for me.

ep1

drug scene at Lux; is Amenadiel mean now?

so is Lucifer himself in his own hell loop when he became the ruler of hell? his own guilt towards his father? idk (to be frank, i don’t remember the past episodes except for the fact that he is now back in hell)

the premise of the first episode is cute!

side note after the title card: i remember how much i loved the soundtrack for Lucifer!

Maze is still hot.

I love how Maze and Chloe’s relationship developed and how they don’t have to use words to communicate.

Amenadiel’s and the Psychologist’s house HAHAHAHA i love it.

is Charlie Jesus? His mom’s faith in front of Ella is like every mom plus every religious person ever haha

YES. ELLA. YOU. DESERVE. A. GOOD. GUY.

self-improvement is now a meme, huh?

Dan is me.

comment on drug scene: Amenadiel is still the same, haha!

Maze and the card, haha!

how was the guy in the mask face (did i just say mask face?) blurred but in the party, Los Angeles was in perfect accuracy. excuse me.

coming out of the dead: “oh sorry, that’s so gross!” LORDT HAHA

love you, Charlie! hope you don’t feel like you have to perform because your mom expects a lot from you and that’s so ironic because she’s a psychologist!

Dan’s speeches about parenting: i get it tho, parents try to love their child, sometimes, they just don’t know how

also, i think it’s the sister but Chloe’s just a softie

lol Maze is jealous that Chloe got to talk to Lucifer and trying to say that they don’t need Lucifer.

OOF MAZE.

i forgot about what happened with Eve.

GUYS THE MURDERER IS LITERALLY GOING TO ESCAPE.

the amount of projection as defense mechanism in this episode is too much it feels like it’s too on the nose.

but i do love the parallel between what’s happening on Earth and in hell.

the amount of layers in this question either it’s Lucifer’s or his or his sister’s (assuming it is his sister who was behind his murder)

ok apparently it’s not his sister.

me in law school:

sana all kaya kang mahalin na babalik from hell. kilig aq.

also, after all these years, Lucifer’s house has been so clean!!! wala man lang alikabok

if she’ll be fine without him then who tf is that?

ok i read the synopsis for the next couple of episodes. i don’t like spoilers. don’t make the same mistake.

ep2

i’m Ella when it comes to my friends’ special people HAHA

also, i love the slight lean to one side to show us that this is not the real Lucifer.

why does he have to be naked???

it’s so funny for me how they have to reestablish him. LUCIFER NEVER LIES HAHAHAHAHA yes we can remember now after you repeated it 3x.

ALSO WHY IS EVERYTHING TO ON THE NOSE. EVERY SECOND IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING. was it always like this?

Oh Michael. Nice. Was he an archer? We love the American accent.

how can Amenadiel not know that was Michael? GANON KA IDENTICAL SIZ?

we love the unnecessary car chase just to reinstate the fact that this is a crime show

that slomo with the wings!!!

also everything is so slow with this show!!! idk why but everything feels just a little bit slower (or maybe i just want lucifer and chloe to be together? idk)

gwapo ni lucifer nung nagmomol sila ni Maze pls

cringe ng elevator scene

ykw. i think it’s because i like the lucifer character that’s why i’m impatient. he hasn’t been appearing the way i want him to.

see. you don’t have to remind me so much about the show because i know he was supposed to say “what is it that you truly desire” not fear. I FEEL LIKE THIS SEASON IS DUMBING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THE SHOW FOR SO LONG. okay sige.

either she knows it’s not him or SHE’S REALLY THAT NICE AND POWERFUL OF A HUMAN BEING.

oh i’ve been questioning whether they had sex already and this episode answered my question

CRINGE coffee scene: the spoon???

random question: are angels virgins? so is Michael a virgin?

what kind of a person would just go deep on someone else’s pocket just because they ran out of money?

knew it Maze won’t do Chloe dirty like that!

thanks Chloe. u know better than that. (full disclosure: I THOUGHT SHE WAS ACTING BADLY APPARENTLY A GOOD ACTOR CAN ACT BADLY TO PROVE A POINT?)

literally just liked it and now there’s a new secret that was said too soon.

God baka naman pwede mo ko gawing Chloe Decker char.

AH so interesting. Lucifer = Desire. Michael = Fear. Too on the nose again but that time, i needed the guidance because i am a dumbass.

God ain’t raising his children right!

ep3

yes explain everything to me it’s literally not like we have been binging this show for 2 hours straight

see, the Lucifer character is really endearing. i’m enjoying myself again hahaha. (well, i guess Lucifer when he’s with Chloe?)

can i just say that Tom Ellis was born for that role. he fits is so well that him acting as his own twin doesn’t sit well with me.

i just feel like this show was written by a psychologist who liked watching murder shows.

it’s Lucifer, Chloe!!! siya yon.

ep4

love Lucifer-Chloe tandem!

we love how the actors can sing and the show gives them a chance...

one thought: is everyone going to play a double of who they are?

also is Maze the daughter of Lucifer?

i love how they’re transcending mediums, reminds me of Community with their random episodes.

there you go, Chloe’s doing the double acting too.

Now it’s Linda. (so maybe this is the episode i was asking about earlier).

Now it’s Ella.

omg is this why i loved fleabag, it took forever for the Priest and Fleabag to finally do it? no. i just love the Priest.

Charlotte’s back! and the distance from the table shows how not okay they are. okay.

green screen while driving i love it.

now, Daniel!

we love gender fluidity? i guess. i’m not sure how you call it but i appreciate.

Lilith’s dress for the second song. OMG.

there again to make us dumb. after we just watched the whole thing happen, they retell the whole story again. damn. they think we dumb.

literally this season is making every girl kiss Chloe.

why did she blow the ring? was that her life?

what’s that song in the end?

OH that was the reason why she was retelling everything.

damn celestial beings are the worst parents.

ep5

i wanna be Dr. Linda Martin please.

i appreciate Lucifer wearing the bracelet until now. (but i expected nothing less)

i’ve always loved how people reacted to Amenadiel. he always seemed nerdy but these are times where he truly shine and im so happy.

i forgot. i think i was showering that time that Michael and Lucifer fought and theyre hella dumb. ok lets go toxic masculinity mixed with daddy issues.

i know they’re too on the nose ABOUT EVERYTHING but i do like the debate about free will and predestination

honestly i don’t know what’s Chloe’s issue is with being made by God probably just because i’m lazy and i just want to lay everything in His hands but coming from a very atheistic perspective where she comes from i kinda get it. i guess my only reasoning why i’m okay with God’s reason is with her is because of my fear of the unknown; my current fear with not knowing my true purpose. at least she got hers! what is she complaining about?

oh i get it now, but that’s why there’s free will Chloe (or idk, idk how God works; there’s currently no electricity in my house rn. i don’t get how that works even if we pay for our electricity all the time, how am I suppose to know God’s plans?)

but aren’t well created for something else? looking at a selfish perspective, maybe He created all of us just because He wanted to.

wow. literally when the nun kissed Amenadiel, the lights in our house opened up. if that ain’t God. idk who that is.

wow that’s so interesting.

“There are no shortcuts.” 🥺

he exposed himself i’m interested. what if i were the one to whom that was exposed to... how would i react?

another sample of them explaining to us WHAT WE ALREADY CAN INFER FROM THE SHOW (the conversation actually continues to dumb it down for the audience) but i get it. it’s religion and fiction built together.

oh i just cringed i almost vomited with this

also can i just share these. these are the funniest thing Chloe said on the show.

ep6

OOF what a horrifying way to start the episode (after the beach fiasco)

they’re holding us. that’s so adorable!!!

ugh. im still cringing.

yes jowa for ella yes pls. ELLA YOU SAID YOU WANT A NICE GUY!!! HE’S THERE!!! i’ll take him if you won’t!

Chloe if you don’t want Lucifer, i’ll take him too!

can i say how proud i am of Chloe and Dan’s relationship. it’s very healthy for what they are. add Lucifer and Dan to that too! we love men.

also the women in this show have bad taste in men. (except for who Linda married, i guess)

we love the seasonal girl’s night!

that whole charlie thing being amused by lucifer’s devil face is the best bit

was it Michael calling? and oh noooo ;(

FUCKEN MICHAEL

ngl i could have waited for another season for them to have sex on season 6 episode 6 but sure have it at season 5.

ep7

we love a person who wakes up and is not pretty. princess anna who? (i mean she is wearing full on make up, but we’re okay with that snore)

Deckerstar!! they made a word for it

our mojo??? does it only work on lucifer or does it work when she does it to others as well, we shall find out.

oh no! Lucifer’s isn’t working at all HAHAHAHA

it’s currently 2:19 AM. i am tired and sleepy.

Dan talking to Charlotte 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Fucking Michael

oh he emphasized archangel Michael. with my limited knowledge being raised Catholic, i was going to ask earlier if he was an archer because he had crooked shoulders. AND I JUST CHECKED. ARCHANGEL MEANS HIGH RANKING ANGEL NOT AN ANGEL WHO’S A FUCKING ARCHER. me being raised Cathlolic means nothing. HAHAHH

now i’m realizing if i see an angel, maybe i won’t be in the situation where i’ll see Amenadiel but Michael

NO NO NO AMENADIEL

i love this HAHAHAHAHA

knew it. called it! worked on lucifer ONLY. HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE THAT MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LORD BAKA NAMAN.

i’m ella shipping them.

THEYRE SPEAKING TAGALOG HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

what song was that? “When it hurts, just to breathe” same

The Shining reference no thank you pls

NAAAH i really can’t do horror things especially not with things i truly fear and when i don’t have a curtain on. No thanks.

14:54 and i’m watching again open the lights bro, it’s easier to find clues that way also i do get that they’re closing it to ensure that the killer is not there but theyre also moving like the killer is not there anyway so better open up the lights! tho i really know nothing about crime solving (i just typed crime solving instead of solving crimes didn’t i)

we stan ella’s healthy relationship!!!

can i just say there was a time where i can’t even say serial killer out loud so this is really hard for me to watch alone

i know that he’s vulnerable around the detective. BUT SHE SAID HE CHOSE TO BE SO BY NOW HE SHOULDN’T BE AFFECTED BY WHAT HE DID.

Fucken Michael.

ep8

how attractive can you be that even in slow motion, you look great.

oh apparently he did not die.

ALSO OO NGA CHLOE. US2 MO SIYA MAMATAY TEH.

CHLOE THE OVERTHINKER but i get it. BUT STILL.

you know that montage of people just studying and it’s now happening to chloe trying to solve a crime. that’s my cinematography goal HAHAHA. it’s been awhile since i’ve been invested in studying like that.

Lucifer can be just so immature some times

is KillShare based off of SkillShare?

also i’m thinking that Chloe was either taken by Michael or Dan or the SK.

that ring of Lucifer on Maze is probably the longest ring someone has waited for.

i love Maze’s eye make up! ALL THE TIME!

if the lady here is not detective and they’re relieved. that’s just fucked up, man. they were slightly relieved. that’s good acting HAHAHAHAHA.

I’M JUST PRAYING TO GOD THAT PETE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY AND NOT THE SERIAL KILLER COZ I CAN’T HATE THAT GUY PLEASE. the key and the research!!! WTF. stop trying to be smart, show!!!

his mojo is back, does that mean Chloe is gone? 😢

OH AFTER THE TAPES, I THINK IT IS THE BOYFRIEND. DAMN SHE’S REALLY INTO BAD MEN, ISN’T SHE?

I’M SO SCARED. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.

THE FLOWERS ARE FRIGGIN KILLING ME.

kamukha niya pa si Penn Badgley, nice.

DOES HE GENUINELY LIKE HER OR IS THE KISS TO THROW HER OFF GUARD.

AH NO. i think he genuinely likes her. except that she... you know found that he’s a fucking murderer

HAHAHA PETE

right??? why does this show have to say everything out loud like don’t already know.

oh he just used her but then he liked her. idk. the way he speaks too, so nonchalant.

preach, ELLA!!!! shout out to those who had crappy childhoods and are not serial killers! that’s the bare minimum i guess.

go, Ella!!! know your worth!

lol made me love Pete, he’s funny.

ok my assumptions were right-ish.

HAHAHA, his american accent.

his choosing to be bot vulnerable around her anymore, Michael, i think is a way of him staying alive for Chloe but ofc Chloe will think that Lucifer would rather have his vulnerability than to be with her.

baka di lang love language ni Lucifer words of affirmation, okay! HE SAVED HER LIFE SO MANY TIMES AND NOW SHE’S DOUBTING BECAUSE HE HASN’T SAID I LOVE YOU YET??? SIZ. HE LITERALLY LEFT HELL FOR YOU.

MICHAEL STOP. Michael the shit stirrer. we all have that one friend.

awa me kay Maze. she’s like a lost dog throughout the show.

does Michael want to be God?

skipped thru the speech. cringe.

what’s Amenadiel’s problem with his child having a normal cold? what’s wrong if he’s a mere mortal?

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHO’W SO INSECURE. i get so annoyed every time Chloe’s mad that Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants

it’s just that i resonate with Lucifer. it’s hard for me to say i love you and now i think Amenadiel stopped time.

oh. i thought Amenadiel’s fears about Charlie being mortal was superficial, i just realized that he was afraid that his child was going to die. but, he can take him to heaven like what he did with Charlotte, right?

oh Michael.

MAZE! MICHAEL IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!! you’re fine! i don’t have a soul either.

celestial beings and their daddy issues and inability to communicate with one another and the desire to fight it out as if that’s the solution

HOTTEST BROTHERS EVER DAMN.

itong si God ngayon lang magpapakita anuna siz.

WHY ISN’T HE PLAYED BY MORGAN FREEMAN BUT OK.

CLIFFHANGER!!! IM MAD.

ep 8 should have been called blueballz tbh

#beigedrafts #lucifer #spoilers

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day6andetcetera · 4 years

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A B O U T M E :

Tagged by: @prettywordsyouleft

O wow what a pleasant surprise brb fangirling in the corner cuz my fav blog/fanfic writer tag me aaahhhhhhh btwily

1. It's your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

uuuhhh it's been a long time since I've got a birthday gift, the last one I remember getting was a DSLR camera my dad gave as a early birthday present for my 15th birthday, I asked for a semi-DSLR like the one my aunt has cuz it'd have the same controls as a regular digital camera.... But my dad thought it'd be better if I'm accustomed to a professional camera what was he thinking idk 😂. O and my best friend gave me a stuffed animal (puppy) for my 16th and some of my other friends gave me some pretty stationaries, yeah that's the last birthday gifts I got

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

TDC: Eternity from TXT's recent comeback!! I really loved their comeback, like everything is just *chef's kiss* they really keep raising the level every comeback just ugh I love them. Also Sara Bareilles -She Used To Be Mine

3. What is your go to snack when you're hungry or bored?

Well it depends on what my parents already have at home and what I'm craving, so usually it ends up being orange wedges or dates(and other sorts of dry fruits) for something healthy. If I'm craving something savoury or something borderline spicy, then nimki (controversial opinion:store bought nimki+Nutella= best thing ever, don't hate me for this) or chanachur ( jhal muri 🔥😋) or Mama noodles with poached eggs if I'm hungrier than usual (Google mama noodles BD), if I'm craving something sweet then chocolate (if my dad decided to buy some🙃) or Masala Cha (just Google "doodh pati chai" in case you're confused) and no it's not chai latte

4. What's your morning routine?

During weekdays (pre-covid) I'd *try* to wake up and get ready for school at least an hour before my mom cuz she's sick so I don't try to bother her too much. Also I happen to be very disoriented the 1st hour and a half after waking up in the morning, so imagine trying to make your breakfast and school lunch in that state yikes I don't even know how to cook MAMA NOODLES ALL THE WAYY~~~~. Nowadays, my mom and I wake up around the same time and make breakfast together, sometimes my dad helps too if he manages to wake up a bit earlier. Then after breakfast we do our own chores around the house. I'm starting to hate how everything changed cuz of the virus just.... ugh it ruined so many things for me.

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

uuuhhh idk really, Phoenix sounds cool maybe that

6. How do you interact with someone that you don't like?If they haven't really done anything wrong to me or mean with me then I try my best to be nice with them, cuz irl I usually judge people too harshly at1st glance . Since I don't want to be like *a bitch* to everyone I meet, I try to interact a little with them to see if my preconceived ideas about them were accurate enough to actually not like them. If they are, I still try to be nice to them, but I try to keep distance from them and not interact more than necessary.

7. How do you define a toxic person?

Someone who is fueled by hate and exhausts you emotionally, affects yours emotional and mental state negatively. A human equivalent of a blood sucking leech.

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fanmeet type of event? If not, would you want to?

Idk if it counts or not but I did go to a concert "technically speaking" but it non-kpop and school organized. Earlier in spring, our school hosted a "Battle of the Bands" after many years where bands from different local schools participated and 2 famous bands from our city were invited as guest bands to perform. This was my 1st concert and it was an open air concert, they literally built an actual stage on our basketball field and the audience were on the football (🇺🇸soccer) field. This became one of my best memories from my last year of high school ❤️ (even tho the pandemic really screwed me over but 🤷‍♀️ what else can be done right?)

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

I sort of do, cuz if you research and calculate well enough is does give an insight into people's characteristics and compatibility with other people really well, but I don't think it's a good for like predicting people's future and stuff, also I think astrology has more to do the seasons that are related to each of the signs rather than the constellations of your sun sign.

10. If you only had one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc...), which would you want?

I can barely function properly with all of my working senses how'd y'all expect me to work with one???? But if I had to choose, it might be touch.

11. Who is your favorite celebrity or idol?

Sushant Singh Rajput (rest in peace 😔), Park Jaehyung of Day6 and Bebe Rexha okie I'll stop before this gets too long

12. If you could talk to your favorite celebrity for a limited time, what would you tell them?

If it's someone I really admire, for example Day6 / Stray kids, then firstly I'd try not freak out and have a normal conversation with them and tell them how their music has helped me and how as their fan I recognize their hardwork and I'm proud of them and their efforts and that I want to see them as they can possibly be in this lifetime.

13. I'm taking you out on a date and it's your choice. Where are we going and what are we doing?

This is assuming that we've known each other at least as friends/ as acquaintances so I'd go for a lunch or coffee date followed by movie at a theater. I want a date where we can talk to each other freely and listen each other's ideas, life stories, etc. Like really getting to know each other as much as possible.

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

Sweet!

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favorite artists? If so, what?

Nope, not yet. I'd prefer to buy stuff like that with my own money when I have a job

Tagging: (if you you don't want to do this it's okay) @phyziks @minniemao @wonpeeler @soft-black-teabag @baby-bumblebean @sllkicker @sungjinparkian @goodwriterwithbadhabits @taeguboi @moonriseth @tiernamente and if anyone else is interested, consider yourself tagged!

#tagged #tag challenge thingzzz #tmi

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honeyfreckled · 5 years

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we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER.

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it.

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

#Anonymous #sorry if this is a mess but i got a lot of feelings abt the shitty advice that's out there for addicts and i dont know shit except my ideas #and all i can do is pass it along but pls still remember there are plenty more things that could work so if these dont strike a chord lmk #and i can try to think of more and reach out to my friends who are addicts and see what works for them #i love you i love you and i love you and i like you

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #220

“as long as god in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”

Would people consider you more immature or mature? It depends on the context. Emotionally, I think I'm considerably mature. As far as eligibility to be a proper adult goes, yeah. No. Would people consider you more funny or serious? I personally don't think I'm very funny, but I'm not super serious, either. Are you currently in love with someone? Who is this person? So... I'm quietly pondering over whether or not I'm just biromantic, not bisexual. I genuinely think I'm in love with my girlfriend, I do, but we have so, so little actually sexual experience that I don't know if "bisexual" fits me. I totally adore her romantically, I know that, but maybe sexually, I'm not into her? I don't know. It's hard for me to say because when I picture doing certain "things," I can't really tell what I feel. I don't take that as an "I'm not into it" though, considering I've wound up liking things with a guy I didn't think I would with anyone, something I only discovered by doing it. This whole situation was driving me insane a few days ago to the point I felt sick, but I've calmed myself out of it to where I've accepted I just have to wait and learn, being long-distance. I'm still entirely invested in us and am going to be honest learning about myself. I haven't actually talked to Sara about it and don't want to unless I come to learn this hunch has credibility. Which room in your house are you in? What color are the walls? My bedroom; light puke green, Why God. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Who got you interested in it? I don't really know about my "absolute favorite." It depends on my mood, really. I think maybe watching my favorite YouTubers tops the list, something Jason actually started with PewDiePie; or RPing, which I got into myself thanks to Meerkat Manor. Would the people you know say you have a nice singing voice? Barely anyone ever hears me sing, so idk. I personally feel my voice suits only few songs. Would you say most of your friends are older/younger than you? Ummm, good question. All but two are very close in age range, but most of my friends/closer acquaintances are kinda split around either side. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? Nope. Are you listening to music right now? If so, who’s singing the song? Yeah, I'm listening to Khemmis' cover of "A Conversation With Death." It's the intro song to that new game Man of Medan and is so badass. All the comments are like "came here from so-and-so's LP because this is epic" and same. What is your dream career? What inspired you to pursue this career? Probably meerkat biologist if I could handle the heat and was okay with moving, or paleontologist if I wasn't opposed to heavy travel. I love meerkats and dinosaurs v v much. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? No. What would you say is your favorite holiday? Why did you choose this? Halloween bc spooks and costumes and candy. Does it feel odd being around your friend’s parents? Why or why not? If I'm alone with them and don't know them very well, sure? What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Is there one in your city? Sonic, probably. And no, but in our neighboring city. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Is there one in your city? Olive Garden. See above. Do you ever take pictures with family members around the holidays? Mom pretty much forces it, lol... Have you ever thought you were adopted because of opposing interests? Y'ALL not kidding I legit asked my fucking mom if I was adopted in elementary school bc I thought she hated me one day versus my little sister lmfao. I went through a phase of feeling like she couldn't be "this mean" to her legitimate child. Are you more interested in indoor activities or outdoor things? Hm, that depends on the activities available. Most outdoor things are more fun, though. When is the next time you’ll see someone you’re crushing on? We were just talking a couple days ago about our next visit, actually. If I can financially, I'm probably coming up to see her for her birthday again, as that's when I have a decent break from school. Speaking of which, how many people are you crushing on right now? Lol I mean it's been just shy of two years, a "crush" doesn't cut it. Have you ever played Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS? Was it fun? No, actually. I didn't grow up playing Mario games. What exactly is your favorite gaming system? Do you have this system? The PS2. It had a giant graphical leap, contains SOOOOO many goodies, and you can still play PS1 games on it. How often do you talk on the phone? Who do you talk with the most? Very very rarely, pretty much only ever with my mom or dad. I hate talking on the phone. Do you normally do what other people around you want you to do? Depends. What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? I don't have one anymore, but it used to be an orange, plastic jack-o-lantern. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 24... wow. What are your plans to celebrate? Probably just go out to dinner with family. What floor do you live on? I only have one floor. Do you have a balcony? No. What is your favorite fall drink, if you had to pick just one? None. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? I've never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? I'm pretty sure I was in my entire school career... Damn dude, proud. Were you a straight A student in math? HA hell no. I could get a C sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I wasn't, but I know people. Are you a Democrat or Republican, or neither? Neither. Independent. Who would take care of you if you needed surgery? My mom and dad, as far as bills go. Do you think you have an accent? Not really. Sometimes you can hear it, though. Have you been told you have an accent? Only when I was younger. I had a SERIOUS one. My family in NY couldn't even understand me sometimes, lmao. Where do you live (country or state)? North Carolina. If you could start a church, what would it be like? I wouldn't. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Nah. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Get a goddamn stable job. Do you know what your purpose in life is? Spreading the love and respect of animals and conservation. If you live in an apartment, what is the maintenance man’s name? N/A What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? Hypothetically, if I had/wanted kids, I'd enjoy carving pumpkins with them, obviously taking them trick-or-treating, autumnal crafts would be fun together, and watching Halloween/scary films appropriate to their age would be a nice experience. I'd decorate the house with them. Oh, a hayride would be cool together, I love those. AND DON'T FORGET JUMPING INTO LEAF PILES! I have a lot of ideas for someone who doesn't want to be a mom. Have you ever seen a fox? Yeah. At least one alive, a handful as roadkill. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. What do the trees look like where you live? Pine trees. Pine trees. What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? I really enjoyed the trip to Beaufort to an island of wild horses. The water was rough that day, and goddamn... watching the ocean in its aggression was unbelievable. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? UM, DID ANY KID NOT????? Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Gimme a science museum and I'm SOLD. What are three issues you are passionate about? GAY RIGHTS, wildlife and nature conservation, women's rights and the pro-choice argument. What are three countries you have no desire to visit? North Korea, Iraq, and... uh... idk. I guess the Middle East in general. That shit's rough. Do you like your country’s flag? Sure? Stars r dope? Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? NO. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Oh. My. God. When I was on three Klonopin a day (I'm now on just one and don't even take it every day), I literally could not function. There was one day in particular (I was on three very briefly bc of this) where I just slept until evening. I physically could not stay awake. I remember I was in the middle of watching a Game Grumps' Mario playthrough, and I'd only last like, ten minutes before I HAD to lie back down, and I'd fall back asleep in like, a minute. That was one of the most awful days ever, I was miserable. Do you like bath bombs? Sure, they're pretty. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don't actually know any. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? He's not very small, I think he's at about a million and a half subs, but Timmy Timato is so fucking iconic. He is an Actual Mood. I have no interest in what he actually posts; I just watch for him. As well, Johnny Paranormal is cool; he's a fuckin awesome guy and is chill and relaxing to watch. I don't watch him religiously, though. Rarely, actually. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? HAVE U HEARD OF????? THE MARKIPLIER GUY??????? What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? I think it was the Pussycat Dolls, fuck off, don't say shit 2 me "Buttons" is still dope. Do you like Disney movies? Blocked & reported if you don't. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Man idk, I enjoy a lot. I enjoyed The Avengers, and Logan REALLY tugged at my heart. Do you have any credit card debt? I don't have a credit card. Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? No. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? Probably like... two days, lmao. It's not like I have a lot of experience. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? It's fine. Do you struggle with acne? No, not anymore. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? RP is definitely the "strangest." Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Are you the clubbing type? Definitely not. Never been, not interested. Bar goer? No. I don't trust strangers + alcohol, and I'd be really scared of being hit on. Song you can’t stand? I don't think there's a song I've heard that I hate more than "Welcome To The Machine" by Pink Floyd. Well, correction, "Friday" by Rebecca Black. That autotuned to all fuck voice is just... major ew. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Jason is. Well, if he looks the same as last time I saw him, which was in 2017. Juan doesn't look half bad. Aaron's cute. What is unattractive about them? Jason: fucking communication skills. Juan: his reckless streak. Aaron: nothing that I know of, he's a sweetie and on a great path. Your hottest ex’s name starts with the letter what? J. Pick two highlighter colors: Yellow, Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange. Pink and orange. Has anyone ever written on you? Who hasn't been written on by friends with markers as a kid? Have you ever dated a fat person? Yes. Have you ever dated someone with a fine ass body? I mean this with total respect and love towards her: Sara's body is genuinely sexy. Her figure is amazing. Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Yeah, for prom, as well as my sister's wedding. Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? Yes. What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? I fucking hate whipped cream. How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant? I've never paid attention, actually... Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘mustache’? Well my Mark tribute tat has the Iconic pink mustache on it, and the texting screen background on my phone is also a pink mustache collage-y thing lmao. When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up? Yeah, sometimes. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? On a burger. How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? I don't love a man, and I wouldn't marry anyone with a kid. Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it? No, but I had SeaWorld Tycoon or whatever it was called. I loved that game. When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally? I've never cut an onion myself, but when I'm in the proximity of someone doing it, I feel mild irritation. How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better? Idk, I don't feel like testing it. When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name? I couldn't even try to guess. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not? Um that sounds disgusting. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? Actually, he warned me that he can and he was nervous about me ever seeing it. I, thank Christ, never witnessed it, though. I would've broken the fuck down, I can't handle angry men. What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? I don't know the last time I went to a "meeting." Honestly, when’s the last time you genuinely liked someone? Now. Are you Team Jacob, Team Edward, or you just don’t care? I've never been into Twilight, but I find Jacob way more attractive. Do you like it when questions are long and make you think? Yes. Have you ever had love at first sight happen to you? No. Do you think Avatar is really all that great? I'm assuming you mean the movie and not TLA? I never saw the full thing, but I would love it. Love or trust? Trust, I think. You can't love someone in a healthy fashion if you don't trust them. What do you think about sexting? Not about that personally. That'd be so awkward. Have you ever done it? Those days where RP mating scenes on YouTube were over private message, timeskipping wasn't a thing... oh boy. It WAS uncomfortable. Would you ever swim with dolphins? Yeah! Have you ever believed a stereotype? Probably at some point. Have you ever tried marijuana? No, though tbh I probably would (but not through smoking it) for anxiety and panic attacks if it was legal in my state. Is there any reason you should be in jail right now? Can you go to jail for illegally downloading, or it is just a fine? Idk. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? I mean, it was decent. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. That shit was so hard. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yes, for panic attacks. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? Heartbreak. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Yes, but Mom played a larger role. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. Do you plan outfits? "Not unless it’s a special occasion." <<< Are your parents strict? No. Would you go sky diving? Probably not. I'm afraid of heights, and I'd be really scared the parachute wouldn't deploy. Who sits behind you in your math class? Quite honestly, a bitch. She always has shit to say under her breath. Do you have good vision? No, it's awful. When was the last time you watched a show for people younger than you? Last I was with Sara. We're watching Avatar: The Last Airbender together. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? She's competitive and admits to it. A lot, particularly in writing, is a "mine needs to be better" thing. When was the last time you kissed someone on the cheek? When I saw my niece and nephew at my nephew's birthday party. How many best friends do you have? One. Did you ever get bullied as a child or were you the bully? Neither. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? GRAPE. I hate strawberry jam/jelly. Do your parents ever send you to do their grocery shopping for them? No. Do you know anyone who has a speech impediment? I don't think I do personally. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was like... 11-12 or so, maybe? Possibly younger? Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? Fuck no. Do you own any exercise machines? No. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? If I need to, sure. School leaves me voicemails sometimes if I miss a call. Do you live in your hometown? No. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? Not very festive, but I mean, I enjoy 'em. Did you/Will you attend college? I'm back in college now!! You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. Listening to music fitting my mood helps me feel related to and not alone. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you watch the news? No. What hooks you to a television show? The most important thing is A GOOD PLOT!!! It needs to be really interesting to me, bc I do NOT get into shows easily. As for funny shows, they need to be fuuuuunny. I don't think I could ever get "hooked" on a show again, though. I just don't watch TV. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Yes. On the morphine occasion, it didn't do jackshit. I don't think they gave me nearly enough. Is there anyone that makes your skin crawl? The #1 thing that most fits the definition of "skin crawling" to me is seeing a fetus move from outside the stomach, especially the further the mother is along. It's fucking alien-esque and actually makes me scream and panic. Are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up? It can be either. Do you have a dining room in your house? No. Do you know the alphabet in any other languages? Very close to all of German's. I blank and aren't sure on a couple. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever been surfing? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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wanttoshine-a · 6 years

Text

I’m about to kind of dump my thoughts here because things have been not great lately and last night I had a sudden revelation at 4am which may cause me to update rules and some other stuff so... I’m gonna... overshare.

Yeah, sounds like a plan.

The rules update doesn’t mean you HAVE to read it, I’ll possibly change them later if you wanna skip the rant haha. In any case if you read it i’d appreciate it if you’d like it or something to let me know. Thanks anyway and heeere I go.... wow I’m actually a bit nervous-

(( PD: God i’ve bared my soul there but goddamn is it long. It may be boring you’ve been warned ))

As i said, yesterday I was laying awake on my bed at 4am while having to wake up early for school and finding it hard to sleep because I was suddenly very very stressed out about tumblr, and I got thinking.

I have made one or two ??? posts @ the drama going around, since I’ve purposefully kept myself in my little tumblr emo corner so sometimes it’s as if i had goddamn ear muffs on regarding stuff. Still, seeing so much negativity and friends leaving is a bit taxing, specially for something that should be nothing but a hobby. But you know, that truthfully barely affects me at all because as I said I’ve been kind of doing my own thing... which is good, but can leave you feeling kind of lost and wondering where you fit in the community if at all, sometimes. I’ve been asking myself that a lot, lately.

Then there are the... not so nice anons I get, and while as you can see they’ll never see the light of day except with private conversations with a friend or two, it doesn’t mean I don’t see them. And even when not outright mean, comparisons were never good and I don’t like it, and playing innocent to try to get me to comment on something to get into drama is not appreciated thank u. I don’t need no help for that.

I’ve had some... small things too, which again I’m not naming and it’s definitely not your fault if I’ve apologised and as always I’d rather you people come to me than talk behind my back but still.... leaves me with a lot of worry and anxiety that I just can’t help but have.

Then there’s... there’s the fact that I’m very slow on IMS and interactions lately, which is making me feel very very guilty. It’s not your fault, and neither it is that I’d rather leave people waiting rather than answer a straight up ‘I’m sorry but I’d rather not start more interactions right now’ or ‘I don’t think our styles would work’ because I’m terrified of saying no and thus I wallow in my own anxiety until I fucking cook. It’s not nice, I know. Not a good thing to do, I’m aware.

Let me explain:

As a few of you may know, I have depression which is even worse this times of the year, and there’s trouble IRL too that I won’t talk about. It’s so bad I can’t even get up to go to class for days and tumblr is.. a bit of a breather for me. Or was, idk. So when it comes to priorities and things I have to force myself to do, ooc talking and drama and negativity are not... not really high on the list. I just want a rest, and I need energy to talk to my actual friends here, i’m sorry.

God, I’m so exhausted just by writing this, jesus christ.

So anyway. Thing is that I was laying on bed allowing tumblr to take time of my rest in order to be anxious and i was complaining to a friend and trading headcanons and I suddenly went-

Why he fuck am I letting this random internet people have so much control over my life?

Why, if I love roleplaying and I love my muses so much, am I allowing this petty things to taint the fun I have here? Why do opinions of people that go behind anon matter at all? Or people who I’ll never speak to for more than a minute, if at all?

Don’t get me wrong, I still think kidness takes little of you and takes you a long way but... To allow complete strangers to give me this much anxiety and weight on my choices is.... ridiculous. Absolutely fucking NUTS

What the fuck was I thinking??????

So l was going to go ‘I’m taking a break blah blah’ but ???? Listen ??? Why the hell would I do that??? I don’t wanna do that ??? I don’t want to have to take a break from doing something I like ????

I love my blog, okay. I’ve put a lot of work here.

Worldbuilding, character development, headcanons, events, formatting and fucking hand drawn icons... I’m so very proud of this blog and how far I’ve come. It makes me genuinely happy and I feel accomplished.

And thus and last not to bore whoever is strong enough to have read this far I’m going to:

Be unfollowing and blocking people. First time for everything. Nothing personal believe me, but I need to distance myself from stuff.

Going to be more selective in interactions. I’m still not mutuals only but I get to chose.

Start saying no, and this is mostly to myself. ‘No’ is not a bad word, it’s a boundary and I need it.

Gonna be scarce on ims except for those that are my friends, otherwise I’m mostly in discord and even then I’m not giving it freely anymore.

Going to state that unless I say so I haven’t forgotten about your thread, I’m just busy.

If you pester me in my IMs I’m going to soft block you. Block you even. 30 messages are too many fucking messages okay.

I’m still:

Going to be commenting on people’s posts

People can comment on mine freely

Allow personals to follow me and like stuff, I appreciate it!

Start threads with new people, I’m quite open to this! Eager even.

Talk in general. I’ve not suddenly gone evil out of the sudden, I’m just looking out for my own health.

Spread positivity, because yes.

There’s a person behind this blog too, okay?

I encourage interactions but I’m just human and I’m really, really tired. Roleplaying is something I love and I don’t want to ruin this. So.. yeah. Putting it all here not to make any more ooc posts and....

Hope you’ll all understand. Thank you.

#; ooc #long post #REAL LONG POST #RIDICULOUSLY LONG POST #negativity #negative #and uhh explanations #🌱 ⌈ ᵂᴴᴼ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴴᴱᶜᴷ ᴵˢ ᴮᵁᶜᴷᵞ? ⌋ ➠ ❪ OOC ❫

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fearingtwd · 6 years

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Sublime (Nick Clark Imagine)

request: Hoping I’m not too late to request nick imagine!! If not could I please request one where you knew him before the apocalypse and you were a thing but his addiction got too much n you left him cuz he put it before u or whatever reason and u reunite in the middle of the apocalypse n u see he’s clean n u still love him but he’s with luciana but like a happy ending?? SORRY THIS IS SO DETAILED idk

masterlist

Exhaustion. Dehydration. Starvation. Dead people. That’s all you were surrounded by lately. When you were with people, it made all of that a little bit more tolerable. But you were alone now because of that damned horde. Seeing people you had grown to care about be ripped apart in front of you was all you could remember when you closed your eyes.

Just when you really felt like you were starting to be truly happy with your life, the world decided to end. You cut off the toxic people, focused only on things that made you happy, picked up some new hobbies and friends. But, that life was behind you forever. You couldn’t do anything to bring it back.

Until you saw him.

You were wandering around the Texas heat, trying to find some shelter for the night. Somewhere secure and hopefully someplace with food. You were weak, helpless. You wouldn’t survive much longer without food, water, and proper rest.

You noticed the sun was starting to set as you walked further into a desolate town. It was completely abandoned - no people dead or alive could be seen. As you stood considering which building seemed safest to break into and hole up in, you heard a distant engine. You quickly ran into the closest alley to hide, adrenaline suddenly rushing.

The truck came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the road and you watched a man and woman step out, looking around for any sign of danger. It had been a while since you’ve seen people who are alive. Making your presence known might end up in you being dead, though.

The woman seemed familiar to you so you took a slight step forward for a closer look, partially shielding yourself behind a dumpster.

“We should check in here,” the woman spoke with authority, pointing to an apartment building. You recognized the voice right away and stepped into the street without a second thought.

Guns were being pointed in your direction not a moment later. Based on her slight hesitation, the woman seemed to recognize you as well but didn’t say anything regarding that. “Put your hands up,” she ordered.

You did as told, studying her features. “Madison? Madison Clark?” you asked, wondering if you were officially hallucinating, though you weren’t sure why you would hallucinate your ex-boyfriend’s mother.

Madison lowered her gun, but her finger remained close to the trigger. “Y/N?”

You gave a nod and the man looked between the two of you. “You two know each other?”

Ignoring him, Madison took a step forward. “What the hell are you doing out in Texas, Y/N?”

You put your arms down and felt like laughing at the strange situation. “What the hell are you doing in Texas?”

“It’s a long story,” she answered simply.

“Same here.”

She looked back at the man before meeting your gaze again. “This is Victor Strand. Strand, this is Y/N. We knew each other before the outbreak.”

“How heartwarming,” Strand spoke impatiently as he finally lowered his weapon. “We have food to find and there’s minimal daylight left.”

“Are you with a group?” Madison asked you, catching you off guard. The idea of being with people again was making you feel giddy inside even if it meant you would have something to lose again.

You shook your head. “No. I-I’m alone.”

“We have a settlement. You can join us if you want. There’s people. My kids. Nick is there,” she explained.

“He’s alive?” You suddenly felt like crying. You loved Nick. A lot. He was once the most important person in your life, someone you would do anything for. You loved him despite his addiction. For a while you thought you were helping him get better, but one too many times he chose drugs over you. You eventually had to do what was best for yourself and leave him. He wasn’t angry at you; he understood. You hadn’t seen him since your breakup, which was only months before the world turned to crap but you still cared for him deeply.

“Yes, he’s alive. I can take you to him once we get back. First, you need to help us find supplies.”

“Yeah, of course. Anything.”

And so, you eagerly helped Madison and Strand on their run though it wasn’t entirely successful. You merely scraped up a few cans of beans in a dirty apartment.

You were anxious on the drive back to their community. You were curious to see how the apocalypse had been treating Nick and even Alicia who you got along with nicely back when you spent a lot of time at the Clark household. Madison and Strand told you about their new home at the stadium and how they ended up there, which prompted you to tell them how you ended up in Texas as well. It was a lot of walking aimlessly mostly.

The moment you hopped out of the truck you spotted him, but he didn’t see you. He was standing by the gate ready to greet his mother. She gave him a quick hug and glanced back you.

“We found someone out there,” she said quietly. When he saw you, you noticed his demeanor change instantly. He was comfortable and calm before, now he was tense and his eyes were wide.

You didn’t say anything and you didn’t dare move. You just stayed next to the truck. Madison gave her son a pat on the shoulder and he began walking towards you, engulfing you in a hug before you could even say hello to him. He was hugging you so tightly, you could barely breathe.

“Oh my god,” he kept whispering to himself. He stepped back and looked at you intently. “You’re alive.”

“Yeah. So are you,” you smiled.

“I just assumed everybody I knew before was dead now.”

“So did I,” you admitted.

He pulled you into another tight embrace. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Y/N.”

“Me too. Your mom told me everything that’s happened to you guys. I’m sorry,” you said into his shoulder. “I’m just happy you’re doing okay, you know, with.... everything.”

He knew what you were referring to. “I’m clean,” he confirmed.

You noticed a young woman watching a little further in the distance, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. You weren’t sure what to think, but you decided to step away from his embrace. “I’m proud of you,” you said softly and sincerely.

He grinned, then noticed your eyes shifting behind him. He turned around and spotted what you were looking at. “Um, you know, I think Alicia would be a good tour guide. She could show you around and find a space for you to stay.”

“Why can’t you be my tour guide?” you chuckled.

He shrugged and looked at the ground, suddenly very standoffish. “I have crops to tend to.”

“What?”

“I can explain later.” He called out for Alicia, who was just as surprised to see you, and told her to show you around. She did just that, taking you on the grand tour, even putting on a fake Southern accent and acting like a real tour guide. She really was a delight to be around and you didn’t realize how much you missed her until now.

“Nick, who is that?”

“Come on, we gotta talk,” Nick spoke earnestly, grabbing Luciana’s arm and leading her to their shared room, ignoring her questions along the way.

He let out a sigh and sat the edge of the bed while Luciana stood her ground. “Her name is Y/N and we knew each other before the outbreak.”

“How well did you know her? You two seemed very friendly.”

Nick sensed the hostility in his girlfriend’s voice and decided to be honest. “We were together, yeah. We dated for a while.”

“Do you still like her?”

“I still care about her.”

“No, do you still have feelings for her, Nick?” she asked more sternly, feeling a bit threatened.

Nick got to his feet and spoke calmly. “Luci, I just found out that someone I care for is still alive. I’m just happy she’s alright. It’s not like that.”

Luciana rolled her eyes. “You better make sure she knows that. I don’t want drama. Things are good here.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “And I don’t want any drama either. I’ll talk to her and I’ll tell her that I’m with you and that I’m happy. I will.” He placed a sweet kiss on Luciana’s lips before eventually going back outside.

He finally found you in Alicia’s room a couple hours later after you were able to get some food, water, and a nice wash. It was completely dark out now and the moonlight was the only thing lighting the small but cozy space. You were sitting on the edge of the bed putting on a fresh pair of socks with your back to the door.

“Hey.”

Hearing a voice coming from the doorway behind you made you jump up and nearly fall over. Your guard was still up from being out there for so long.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He watches you carefully and notices your new outfit. “You wearing Alicia’s clothes?”

“She offered,” you told him.

He raised an eyebrow. “Wow. She letting you hang out in her room too?”

“Well, she said we could share it until I can get my own space.”

Nick started walking further into the room. “My sister must really like you if she’s lending you clothes and sharing her room.”

You let out a dry laugh and then promptly changed the subject. “She took me on a tour of the stadium and you weren’t by the garden. That’s where I thought you’d be since you have crops to tend to apparently.”

He frowned. “I was busy with something else. I was actually talking with Luciana. I’m assuming you didn’t meet her on your tour.”

“No, I didn’t,” your voice came out smaller than intended.

“When you were with my mom and Strand, I don't know what they told you, but she’s my girlfriend, so... You know, I just don’t want it to be weird between us or anything. I mean the break up was kind of mutual, but still.”

You furrowed your brow. "Well, your mom didn't say anything about you being with someone. It wasn't mutual, by the way. I distinctly remember dumping you after you promised to get clean for me and then just... didn't even make an effort." You weren't mad at him, but you were growing frustrated with the situation. On the drive here, you felt like there was a glimmer of hope that it was fate for you to be reunited with Nick. Now it didn't feel that way, but you were still elated to see him doing so well.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I was a junkie. I didn't want to change because, honestly, I thought you deserved better than me," Nick said in a low voice.

You gnawed on the inside of your cheek as your heart began pounding. "I didn't want anyone else. I wanted you. I loved you, Nick. I still do, even if it's not in the same way."

He shifted the weight between his feet. "If Luciana wasn't here, would it be the same way?"

"Maybe. Doesn't matter, though. I'm just happy that you're happy."

He flashed a quick smile. "I am happy. And I still love you too. Platonically, of course."

"Does your girlfriend, um... Do you love her?"

"I do, yeah. I love her a lot." Hearing that didn't upset you as much as you thought it would.

"Good. I hope she knows how lucky she is." You could tell that Nick was a different person. A better version of himself. Still caring and sweet, but clear-headed now.

Alicia suddenly made her way into the room and stopped short upon seeing Nick. "Just because Y/N is staying in my room doesn't mean you can invite yourself over whenever. It's still my room," she deadpanned.

Nick took that as his cue to leave. But before walking away, he placed a hand on your shoulder. "Sit with us at breakfast tomorrow, alright? We're having pancakes."

As soon as he was gone, you excitedly turned to Alicia wide-eyed, mouth watering. "Pancakes?"

That was when you knew you would love it at the stadium, that it could become home and all of the people could easily become your friends. Even if things weren't how they used to be with Nick, you considered it better now because he's clean and happy and you still loved each other. Even if it was just platonic, it felt right.

#idk this is a mess #kind of like s4 facts only #nick clark #fear the walking dead #nick clark x reader #nick clark imagine #nick clark imagines #fear the walking dead imagines #ftwd imagines #ftwd imagine #ftwd x reader #feartwd #imagines

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fmdxjerome · 6 years

Text

hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;

its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)

also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego

anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!

Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy

-Anti idol

-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.

-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)

-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)

-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)

-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines

-Hoe but not really

-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme

-Is actually lovely

-But acts like a shit

-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second

-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON

-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything

-French™

-Will call you baby at some point in your life

-Signature smirk

-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego

-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france

-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)

-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)

- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)

-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)

-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )

-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)

-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick

-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo.

-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)

-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that

-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho

-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)

-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )

-Smooth™

-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask

idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES

CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10

-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)

-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.

-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)

-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps

-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,

-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice

-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)

-Actually hates the rest lol

-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille

-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)

-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE

-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)

-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome

-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi

-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob

-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance

TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20

-middle school very nice

-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD

-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely

-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯��\_(ツ)_/¯

-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.

-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in

-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)

-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.

-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:

-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)

-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.

-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)

-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW

-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!

-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)

-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.

-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies

-Learning how to cook ;3;

-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2

-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.

-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers

-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)

-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best” years

-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME

-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)

-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight

-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy

-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME

-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down

-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )

-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros

-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.

-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder

ADULTHOOD age 20 to now

-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™

-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name

-Fuck_love.mp3

-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”

-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol

-EMO

-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)

-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????

-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)

-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz

-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good

-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;

-imfine.jpeg

-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify

-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff 👍 no im not crying you are

-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow.

-instagram is a great song

-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*

-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3

-The fact she linked to him now is spook

-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3

TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!

also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN

#Writer Speaks.#ooc. { i dont want to reset the clock again it says 6am in this post its almost 7am i've been here since 4 i'm slower than usual wow }#{ almost 7 its 7.30 i got to stop ok }#{v sleepy now so!! goodnight talk to everyone in a few hours}

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toralyzer · 7 years

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apparently there was this series of personal writing prompts for autism acceptance month that i missed, but i decided to do them all now cause i like talking about myself. http://doingcollegedisabled.tumblr.com/post/159842938764/30-days-of-autism-acceptance

Day 1. Make yourself known.

I’m Amanda I’m 19! I was professionally diagnosed at a young age but by the time they told me I already long since knew I was weird.

Day 2. Talk about passing and/or being out.

I’d be open about it I think but it hasn’t come up many times. I guess I did work really hard growing up to be able to pass as allistic though. Oh... I’m not sure if that’s ever caused burnout!

Day 3. Talk about relationships, both platonic and romantic.

Yeah as a kid I had a hard time making friends but now I’m a lot better at being sociable - in the allistic way I guess. But now lots of my friends are proudly autistic anyway!

Day 4. Talk about your family and support.

I think my family was fine about it. Unless in fact my trauma comes from them dealing with my autism badly. It’s unknown.

Day 5. Talk about employment and your career.

Yeah I gotta get one of those...

Day 6. Talk about music, art, writing, and other forms of creativity.

Yeah I do that stuff! I’m really creative. Sometimes I think about autistic themes but I don’t think I know what they would be, I think I have too many bad depictions internalized. Sometime I wanna do something with the changeling comparison though...

Day 7. Talk about community.

I guess I’m really not out as autistic anywhere ‘cause I pass well. So idk. And I’m not in any communities of autistic people.

Day 8. Talk about traditional media.

I think as a kid, media depictions gave me this horrible sense of condescending superiority toward myself and added to my complexes of not listening to my feelings. It’s like, you get these books that put you outside the autistic kid to laugh at his misunderstanding things, and I think then I felt like any sincere expression of my own feelings and thoughts was an immature misunderstanding and worthy of shame.

Day 9. Talk about Autism Speaks.

Ya, fuck them.

And/or Talk about special interests.

Damn I’m not sure if I’ve had a special interest lately? I guess some things I’ve been constantly thinking about lately are, um, Sports Anime RPG and my Zimmy fanfic. Okay so Sports Anime RPG is a roleplaying game I’m making based on sports animes even though I haven’t actually seen many but I thought it was a cool idea. It’s split into two sections, one is for the sports games and you can swap out different rulesets for different sports, and in general it’s focused on strategy and mechanics, similar to traditional RPG battles. The other is more freeform roleplay for the story outside sports matches, with light skill checks that are mostly social-based. And there are friendship mechanics where you can build friendships with other characters and get friendship abilities that you can use in either mode! And then the Zimmy story is this fanfiction idea that I always come back to when I feel really fucked up in my head - the premise is basically to throw together all the most viscerally upsetting surreal gore and horror set pieces I can think of, in the context of Zimmy from Gunnerkrigg Court’s reality warping getting set off bad. I’m a little frustrated because I can’t figure out how to express how much I love Zimmy and want to save her but also address how abusive she is.

Day 10. Talk about a cure.

It’s a divergence not an illness so it wouldn’t be a cure so much as just mental modification. And no that would be really evil for other people to be able to make us allistic

And/Or Talk about stimming.

Yeah I like stim toys sometimes. I have a bracelet of rainbow stars and a thing of rainbow blocks you can put in different shapes and a fidget cube. I think a bigger thing for me though is that if I’m listening to a podcast or so I need to play a video game that uses my hands but not my listening brain. When I do that it can be the most fulfilling and engaging activity ever. Watching video fills my attention too much to do a simultaneous activity but not enough to keep me from being distracted so it’s not as easy for me.

Day 11. Talk about sensory issues.

When I was a kid I only wore shorts all the time. Now I’m hugely self-conscious about it and I’ll never wear male shorts again. Yeah, I guess there are various sensory things I have a problem with... It’s not too intrusive to my life though.

Day 12. Talk about ableism.

I don’t think I’ve got any stories here. I’ve never been targeted directly.

Day 13. Talk about something funny.

“Has anything humorous or ironic ever happened to you because you were autistic?“ Haha probably not anything I’d want to joke about!

Day 14. Talk about role models.

Uhhhh I’m not sure I know any autistic role models. Sometimes there are tumblr users who are vocally autistic who seem cool. Role models in general? I was saying the other day, I used to have a list of people I wanted to be like, but several of them have since become my enemies, so. Yeah, I think every celebrity disappoints you eventually. The last person about whom I thought “well, at least so far, this person seems really good and kind and a cool artistic inspiration” was... Rebecca Sugar.

Day 15. Talk about identity.

I was diagnosed with aspergers but later I learned that’s just a subset of autism now. I like autistic better.

Day 16. Talk about treatment.

I haven’t done any that I can really remember. I should go to therapy though. Like in general.

Day 17. Talk about empathy.

I guess usually I have more sympathy than empathy for people? But sometimes when my girlfriend does a kind of cutesy sad voice as a joke I get some kind of weird hyper empathy and get really sad.

Day 18. Talk about functioning labels.

I hear those are bad. I would probably be on the higher functioning side but yeah, those seem like a bad idea because they describe how well society is ready to engage with us as if it was our own success or failure.

Day 19. Talk about your struggles and strengths.

I don’t really know which of those are because of autism or not and I’m self-conscious about finding out because I spent so long trying to learn to be “normal”. On the other hand sometimes it feels like it’ll turn out that autistic traits just account for my whole personality.

Day 20. Talk about communication.

I’m verbal, sometimes I like when I can communicate in other ways though, like when I can get something across with quick hand signs.

Day 21. Talk about comorbid conditions.

Well I’m not sure about any of those and I don’t think I’ll speculate here to make sure I don’t appropriate anything.

Day 22. Talk about autism parents.

Wow fuck them! Yeah I was just reading about #BoycottToSiri. People who abuse their kids because they can’t fathom trying to interact and listen to them to understand what they really need and instead go to great lengths to train them like animals into simulating “normality” should die.

Day 23. Talk about your living situation.

I have a roommate who I know enjoys being able to stay in their room without ever encountering a single allistic or cis person. ^u^

Day 24. Talk about the stereotypes and misconceptions that neurotypicals and allistics have.

Luckily I haven’t encountered it much in person but I know people see us as a young boy with a slightly distant expression with a single savant skill but also enough tragic disconnection from the rest of humanity that they can safely feel intellectually superior. Wow now that I think about this it’s actually this really unique way of viewing a person where they feel that the stereotypical expression shows that this child doesn’t really exist outside of his mysterious, unknowable brain and therefore all of his personal space and bodily autonomy is up for grabs. It’s really unsettling how autistic bodies in media are dehumanized into dolls because the portrayer is so obsessed with emphasizing this perceived unbreachable distance between the subject and the human observers.

Day 25. Talk about meltdowns/shutdowns.

Kinda had one earlier because academic research is so frustrating. I think work pressure like that is the usual cause, other than social overload.

Day 26. Talk about echolalia and scripting.

Yeah I don’t use really specific scripts for most things now, but when it comes to formal things like phone calls I do really need to work out my full sentence before I start.

Day 27. Talk about eye-contact.

I think I’m pretty okay with eye contact? I don’t think I give people the wrong signals? This always makes me self-conscious X(

Day 28. Talk about autism as a disability.

It’s not a disability ‘cause it’s just different, right? Or are there aspects that strictly make things harder? I don’t really know...

Day 29. Talk about executive functioning.

IT’S DEFINITELY AN ISSUE.

Day 30. Talk with pride.

“Are you proud to be autistic?” Yeah definitely!!! “How do you show the world your pride?” Oh. Hm...

#dialoguelogue #actuallyautistic

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xshipsssx-blog · 7 years

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♡sansaxjoffrey♡

Wow ch 3 hope u like, whoever reads this! :) pls review (even though this isn't fanfiction.net, idk what else to call it and it IS a review): constructive criticism, even hate is totally welcome cuz there's always room for improvement, basically just whatever u have to say, pls tell me so ik u guys read it, it means a lot to me and really motivates me;) anyway this is a rly long intro so on with the story.

Chapter 3: Happy Days On The Bench

It had been a few days since that fateful Small Council. Sansa spent them training her inner wolf. She had always turned her nose up and Arya's wildness, but she could see now being fierce definitely had its perks. Even, no, especially Cersei was fierce. Sansa needed to fight to survive. To be happy. To go home. In her own way, perhaps, but she still needed to be fierce. She had tried out her newly discovered cold self on her handmaids. It seemed to work well; they no longer treated her like the child she used to be. The same could, unfortunately, not be said for the Hound. Sandor Clegane had all but laughed right in her face. And even that he had nearly done. Sansa fumed just thinking about it. Another thing she was proud of was ignoring Loras Tyrell, her ideal knight who was supposed to sweep her away. She simply stared absently ahead when he greeted her, looking uninterested. She was still courteous enough to not be rude, though. Then Sansa had just swept away, looking uncannily like the Queen Regent. She beamed. If she could only keep it up like this, Joffrey would loose all interest in her. She was cold, rude, and unsmiling. Who would love her then? She would only be kind to those who she loved, and wanted to be loved by.

Joffrey sighed. He had absolutely no idea why, but he seemed to be constantly feeling very...guilty. As if he had done something wrong. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with her?

No, he had every right to dismiss her. He was king, goddamn it all! Joffrey the King decided he needed to clear his head a bit. Once more. He was getting fed up with all this overthinking business.

Sansa was in a good mood today, and the day seemed to reflect it. The birds chirped as she skipped down the stairs, and the sun warmed her.

She had peacefully broken fast in her room, and was in the mood for a walk around the castle. She was smiling up at the sky.

He was frowning down to the ground.

"Ah...good day, Your Grace-"

"M'lady-"

"Good-"

"Hello-"

Sansa blushed and curtseyed. She should have just kept her mouth closed!

Joffrey looked up at her. He seemed confused, as usual. He composed his angelic features.

"Walk with me."

"Of course, Your Grace."

Sansa followed him curiously. They walked in silence for a couple of minutes until Joffrey reached a bench, which Sansa noticed to be her rose garden. She wondered why he would bring her here, and why he would bring her anywhere at all.

"The gardens are beautiful, Your Grace." Sansa tried to make some conversation, sitting with her posture perfect a safe distance away from him, so he'd have nothing to complain about.

"Yes," he said eagerly. Then he looked down.

"Ah...does my lady like those flowers?" he queried tentatively.

"Yes," she smiled briefly.

How could he switch moods like that? First he treated her sadistically and cruelly, then he asks about her taste in flowers as if he's just a boy who wants to know a girl? She was too confused.

Joff sighed. This was not at all going to plan. For some reason, he felt like he needed to engage in conversation. And he needed to interest her.

"Which colour rose do you like best?" he asked, throwing his most charming smile her way.

She looked away.

"When it comes to the roses, I think it's got to be red, Your Grace."

"I see."

He got up to pick a deep red one.

"This is for you, then." he hoped his smile was as sweet as he thought. There was something strange in her expression. Surprised. Flattered. But there was also something he hadn't seen in the pink of her cheeks or the glitter of her eyes in quite some time.

"It's very beautiful, Joffrey."

The first time in months she had used his name to address him. Why did his heart stop in his chest for a split second? In that second, why did he imagine something unthinkable? Her...

It was annoying. He didn't like this mysterious feeling. He hated how strangely dissatisfied and empty he felt and it was driving his head in circles. He almost sent her away to clear his mind, but before he forgot himself, Joffrey banished the thought from his mind. For some reason, he didn't want to be on her bad side. She needed to like him. To care like he- no. What was he thinking? Who was it that cared? Not him...

Joffrey blinked. He needed to stop this and make talk with her, or she'd bore. She started.

"Your Grace..." she seemed to have forgotten what she was going to say.

"Joffrey. Just...Joffrey..." he told her. "Your Grace" was tiring him. He wanted to hear his name on her lips. It was much more fun.

She nodded slightly.

"Joffrey."

"Yes, that's right. Sansa."

She jumped a little at the sound of her name. Was that bad? He thought it probably was.

She held out the flower to him.

"It has such a beautiful aroma, Joffrey," she smiled lightly. Her hand shook as he leaned in, as if he were going to strike her. He steadied it with his own, and inhaled. Indeed it was beautiful.

He laughed, just for the bliss of the action. She laughed a little with him.

Sansa was even more confused than ever. Why was the monster being so nice to her? Whatever the reason, she found herself enjoying it. He could be so sweet and charming when he tried...and so handsome too, really...she had honestly no idea what to feel. So she decided to just stop thinking, and start feeling, living. It was just so much easier.

"Joffrey." she tried out the name again. He looked at her. She burst out laughing. It was the weirdest thing.

"You know...I had lemon cakes to break my fast today, just because I felt like it." she told him. He looked on at her, amused. He chuckled and shook his head. They were both laughing by now, at nothing. Joffrey placed his hand on the small of her back. For a second she tensed, from sheer shock, but then tried to relax herself. There was a question at the back of her mind, nagging her every second.

Could they be friends now?

She never said it though, even though they talked until noon about the most simply random of things. On that same bench for hours. How, though?

When it was time to eat, Joffrey made for his solar. He glanced back, for a second his angel's face crumpled, expecting her to follow.

So she did.

The next day, she had come back to the bench, as if hoping he'd be there too. And he was. As if he'd done the same thing.

Sansa smiled.

It was almost too good to be true.

They talked again until noon. Of Joffrey's sword collection, of Sansa's father, of the Kingslayer. Of Lady, her wolf. Post-wolf.

That was a sore spot for her. She nearly wept. No matter how Joffrey tried to console her, every day checking to see if he was forgiven. He could never be forgiven for that, but it was alright, she supposed.

He seemed to regret it solely because she was sad.

"I'll get you a new wolf."

"I don't want a new wolf, Joffrey."

"But why?"

"The only reason I loved Lady was because she was Lady. A new wolf isn't Lady. She was special."

"I'm sorry."

Sansa had to laugh.

"You say the same thing every day, Joff. The damage is done, forget it."

"But I can't, not until I'm forgiven."

"Fine. You're forgiven. Stop pestering me."

She walked ahead, smiling to herself. It was a game. Joffrey stepped in front of her, walking backwards so that he could face her. His face was the crumpled, disappointed look he got.

Sansa giggled.

His concern cracked into a smile.

Soon they were walking side by side again, discussing what Joffrey would name his hypothetical direwolf. They walked around the castle giant gardens until the sun went down. Sansa ran ahead.

"Look, the sky is so beautiful. Don't you feel as if you could catch it if you kept on running?"

She laughed for the thousandth time that day. It must have been a record.

It was true though, the sky was magical. The sun cracked through a big cloud, orange and mellow, casting a shimmering glow over King's Landing. She wondered what Winterfell looked like now. She missed it, but it was fine because she wasn't unhappy anymore.

Joffrey chased Sansa along the winding cobblestone path.

"Wait!" he shouted at her. She just turned around with a satisfied smirk. They could just keep running until they finally reached that sunset, he felt.

He felt something else, too. A strange sort of pang, but not really a pang. He didn't know how to describe it...a bit fuzzy, a bit sharp, a bit headache-inducing, a bit sad, a bit euphoric.

He finally caught up to her, but she wouldn't stop, so he grabbed her hand. They were both out of breath, and looking up at the sky. Sansa was shivering. Poor thing. There was a breeze, and she was dressed lightly. Joffrey took off his fur cloak and wrapped it round her shoulders.

"Thank you..." she seemed surprised. Joffrey wondered: what in the Seven Kingdoms had she to be surprised about?

Didn't she realise?

Couldn't she just tell?

How could she not see them?

She only looked on, auburn hair that he wanted to run his hands through fluttering in the breeze.

#game of thrones #fanfic #sansa stark #joffrey baratheon #sansaxjoffrey #fanfiction #♡#kawaii #yay #chapter 3

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