petrovna-zamo · 1 year ago
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the-b-journal · 5 months ago
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Lady Miss Detty Episode 2 Truth Talking - The Essay 13 June 2024
How I Started Loving Men in Wigs
I witnessed a live drag performance for the first time ever yesterday and it was E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
It was my first time attending a pride-related event and it did NOT disappoint. I had so much fun with Rica and some of my friends from class. We were dancing and singing and just having a great time. I still can't believe i got to see Maxie and all the other amazing queens. I've always loved international drag queens but seeing some local ones, let alone from my own university, i cannot stress enough how incredibly proud i was.
I discovered drag back in 2020 when there was a pandemic going on and i had nothing better to do than scroll thru tiktok. Every now and then i would come across some videos of Trixie and Katya from their show UNHhhh. Back then, i had no idea who they were. I'm aware that they're men dressed as women, of course, but i didn't know that it's called drag and that there is a whole world centered around it. Still, i found myself finishing and liking their videos because they make me laugh and also because i was very attracted to the both of them (i still am!)
One day, i came across this video of Katya and Violet where they were doing a Fashion Photo Ruview of their season 7 sisters. I'm not even joking one bit when i tell you that my heart literally stopped when i saw that video of Violet for the first time. She was wearing this dominatrix leather outfit and she had like a half-up, half-down black wig with styling at the front (i don't know how to fucking describe a wig please spare me) and thought, "Oh my god. I've never seen a more beautiful human being in my life." And when i heard her laugh for the first time in that same video? It was over for me. I was done. She got me from that moment.
Until now, the effect she has on me is insane. She's just so unnaturally beautiful and confident and i fucking love her for it. Her drag aesthetic is IT for me. I was so into her that i made a drag race twitter stan account four years ago because i was going out of my mind keeping my love for her to myself. I think my account lasted for a good couple of months then i had to delete it because she did something stupid and people were hating on her. During that time, i accumulated quite a number of followers and made a couple of hit tweets about Violet making me known as one of the Violet Chacki stan account.
My account was doing so good and i made some drag race friends and i really felt like i was part of a community. But then shit hit the fan and people started accusing her of doing something bad so i decided to just delete it permanently. I'm a libra making me very bad at confrontations and there was no way in hell i'm gonna fight for my life everyday trying to defend her name when she doesn't even know i existed. And i think whatever people were saying about her, some of them was probably true. Because no matter how much i love her and how beautiful she is, she's still just a person. She's still a man.
So i left drag race stan twitter and just focused on other queens that aren't Violet. Mainly, Trixie and Katya. Talking about them and what their friendship means to me will never fail to make me emotional. Their videos are what started this whole thing for me and i cannot be grateful enough that those two white bald men exists. I remember back then, i was going through something rough and the only thing that got me through the day was their UNHhhh and I Like To Watch videos. In the process of getting to know T & K, i also got to know drag race and RuPaul and the thousands of other queens that the show produced. For some people it's reversed. They usually watch drag race first and after watching the queen on the show then they would watch other videos or shows that that queen has been on.
For me though, this might be a controversial take, but i actually don't watch drag race. The competing aspect of it is not for me. I don't like watching them lose and be sent home. It breaks my heart every single time. No matter who the queen is. So what i do instead is that if a queen on the show piqued my interest whether it be because of how she looked or how she performs, etc., then i would search her on youtube and start hyper fixating on her for a couple of weeks like a freaking neurotic. That way, i would actually know what that queen's personality is when there is no pressure of competition. This is just my personal take, everybody's different and me, personally, i don't really appreciate competitive shows.
With that being said, i'm going to confess that i've actually never finished a full season of drag race. I almost did with All Stars 7 but i think i got kinda busy so i just forgot about it. Drag race philippines too but i stopped watching when Brigiding got elimanated because she was my bias and i was rooting for her so hard that i cannot bring myself to watch her leave and not make it to the finale. Almost too with Marina on UK vs the World but again, i never finished it for some reason. I used to be embarrassed about this little fact but i think there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I love these queens because they deserve it and work hard for it. Whether i finished their season on drag race or not doesn't really fucking matter.
I'm thinking of writing more about Trixie and Katya but i think they deserve an essay that is solely about them. They have helped me through so much of my shit in life that i feel like as long as i have them and they exist and they're doing their thing, then i'll be fine. I have never had this kind of attachment to other celebrities and it shows just how much they mean to me.
I want to end this essay by saying that i am very grateful to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I mean yeah the idea of coming out to my parents and my relatives knowing i like women scares the shit out of me not because i'm afraid they're not gonna accept me (well i care about that a little bit) but mainly because i don't want to give them something to talk about. Just imagining them talking shit about me being gay behind my back makes me want to bash my head into the nearest wall.
But experiencing what i experienced yesterday, the solidarity of the queer people in my university, all kinds of people being their most authentic self without giving a single fuck, makes me feel so proud and happy to be a part of it. People can talk about us all they want but at the end of day, we're free. We're not doing anything wrong and we're not afraid to pursue what makes us happy even though in the eyes of many people, it's wrong.
I LOVE BEING QUEER AND I LOVE DRAG QUEENS !!!!
I cannot wait to attend more drag shows in the near future. I'm literally imagining spending my non existent money on buying show tickets and making it rain on the queens. It's my dream.
Again, if you reached this point, i love u!
HAPPY PRIDE : )))))))))
Xoxo
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cathrrrine · 3 years ago
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RUN | Pietro x Reader
Originally from my Wattpad , 2017
CHAPTER 01 - NAMES
"Last name, L/N. Goes by several first names - Iris, Mila, Lisa, Eve, Yvonne, Kira, Katya. Many more undocumented. An expert in combat and in handling weapons. Also highly trained in various forms of martial arts."
Nick Fury let out a breath. He stared down his team with his one good eye, making sure all of them were focusing.
"Stark! " he hollered. The said man jumped in his seat. "You got that? "
"Nuh-uh. Your loud voice definitely didn't shatter my eardrums." he stuck a finger in his left ear dramatically, rotating it as he did so.
A chuckle appeared from the left corner of the table. The new kid, the one with the silver hair, was covering his wide grin with his hand, trying not to draw attention. But Nicholas J. Fury sees everything. Even if he was wearing an eye patch.
The director groaned internally. That sort of reply was not new to him, but nevertheless it bothered him to no end. People loved to say that he lived up to his name, patience never being one of his famous virtues. And it wasn't far from the truth. Sometimes he wondered if God named him Fury on purpose.
He turned back to the big screen, pointing at the picture of the woman.
"To conclude; she is lightning. You never know when she's coming, you never know when she'll attack, when she'll run. This woman is a dangerous being. And that is why, " he paused, eyeing them all to show how serious this was. "She is your mission. "
----
"I didn't get everything, for your information. "
Everyone automatically groaned. Nick had walked out, leaving them to plan their next mission.
"You never do," Natasha mumbled, irritated at the fact that she had to explain everything again to her friend.
"Hey, what can I do? " the brunet smirked, "I'm a busy man. It's hard to focus sometimes. "
The redhead scoffed, "Man? That's a very questionable title when it comes to you. "
Everyone who heard Natasha's comment laughed. This left Tony's ego impaled, and he chuckled dryly. "Very funny, Red, " he said, twirling a pen with his fingers and then pointed at her with it. "Very funny. "
She simply shrugged, secretly enjoying how annoyed Tony was.
"Alright," Steve took over, moving to the head of the table so his teammates can hear him clearly. "Stark, you better concentrate. "
"First of all, this woman was last seen at a Hydra base in Berlin, " he flicked through the  slides on the tablet. "She may be hard to beat, I mean she's almost as skilled as Natasha-" he was cut off by the redhead suddenly scoffing loudly.
Steve raised a curious eyebrow at her. She mocked him, raising her own eyebrow sarcastically.
"I said 'almost' not 'exactly'."
He continued the briefing. "Powers unknown, we don't even know if she has any. Appearance inconsistent. What else? "
The Captain was quiet for a moment as he tried to figure out what to press on the tablet,.
"Oh good. It says here that S.H.I.E.L.D tried to capture her once, a few years back. They sent two teams—the other one was backup. Apparently they opened fire and...oh."
"What happened? " Wanda questioned at Steve's sudden halt.
"Oh wow. " Steve sighed. "She killed everyone on her own. No survivors. "
They all sat up, intrigued as to how one mysterious woman could survive such a battle alone.
"She must've had some help or something. There's no way she could've survived that much with no powers. " Pietro pointed out.
"Well, " Natasha cut in once again, "I think you shouldn't underestimate a woman. She could just be really strong and determined."
She knew full well if she faced that situation she could've made it through. Maybe not all in one piece, but still.
"I am not underestimating her because she's a woman, it's just... she is not an Avenger. " the silver haired boy shrugged.
"Avenger or not—women are capable enough to be that powerful. " his sister rolled her eyes at him.
"Still..."
"Alright." Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, not wanting to hear anymore of the debate.  "That's not the point."
"I mean she has to be Hydra, right? Or at least she's working with them?"
"Pietro." Steve groaned. "Nat and Wanda are right, women are powerful , now would you just sit back and...listen?" He just wanted to get it over with.
Pietro raised his hands in mock surrender, "Alright. Whatever you say, Captain." He wanted to speed over to him and push him to the floor. How dare he scold him? He wasn't a child.
"Please, let's get back on track." The Captain huffed.
They all agreed, trying to get comfortable on their seats again. Pietro, on the other hand, decided to cross his arms and stay quiet. They noticed he was sulking as he wasn't usually a quiet guy, but they ignored him.
"It says here we have an insider, and that she burnt down that base in Berlin. " Steve tried to find more information on her, but he found nothing but still footages of the woman, from all over the world.
"Huh, I guess that's all." He put the tablet on the table, carefully. "I guess that proves you wrong there, Pietro. She's gotta be their enemy if she burnt down that base. "
"Or they could have done that to throw us off track. Maybe they caught our insider and knew we were on to one of their best agents." He blurted out, accidentally breaking his pact to himself to be silent, wanting to prove his point even if he wasn't sure if it was right. He just hated being wrong.
"I gotta say," Tony stopped twirling his pen. "That makes sense."
"It honestly does, " Clint pitched in his own opinion. It wasn't like him to be so quiet in meetings, but he hadn't had his coffee yet and caffeine was an important thing in his life. In fact, it was one of the things he needed the most right now. These meetings killed him.
"But why go through all that trouble just to throw us off? " Natasha said, her hands moving wildly as she tried to explain her own theory. "I mean, Berlin is one of Hydra's most active bases. Also, S.H.I.E.L.D's tried to do the very thing that she did and it wasn't very easy."
"I don't know, guys. It's all very confusing. I think we need more intel."
"Avengers? "
All heads turned to the door. It was Maria Hill, fully dressed in the standard suit and her famous low hair bun.
"You're needed." she then walked away immediately, heels clacking, not even bothering to close the door after her. Now that was a busy woman.
They all grabbed their things—tablets, pens, mugs and all.
Pietro was still sulking, upset at the fact that didn't agree with him.
"Piet ," Wanda came up to him, hand on his shoulder.  "That was actually the least dumb thing you said all week." He smirked in reply, watching as his twin walked out the door, trying to catch up with the others.
"But still." he mumbled to himself, finally dragging himself out.
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jarofstyles · 4 years ago
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Fan Club VII
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A/N: Part 7. This is the end my friends. We had a blast writing this, making it as special as we could. This part is all the good things, fluff, smut, sentimental moments. Also, peep the mention of @jawllines​ (single dad!harry) and @darthstyles​ (mafia!harry) fics within this fic 😉Anyways, hope you enjoy! - n + d
send feedback and requests here
masterlist
pairing: Harry Styles x Reader
warnings: smut, fluff, sentimental stuff 
word count: 20k 😅
Y/N missed her boyfriend. 
She knew he was a busy man and that he had a tight schedule now that he was getting ready to release his new album. It was something she knew would come along with dating Harry, but no one could ever prepare you for that. He wasn’t purposely trying to ignore her and that got her through it most days. She had gotten used to having him at her disposal, so maybe she was just spoiled. He was currently away in Scotland, checking out a location for a potential music video. He had shared with her that he had this idea about creating a whole island, it was a concept that was still in the works, but she was really excited about it. So naturally, she was excited to hear he was going to attempt to bring it to life. 
The bakery was becoming a lot busier as well. Katya said it was because of her, but Y/N begged to differ. Sure, she knew Harry’s fans would come and support her bakery, but she hadn’t realized just how much. It was stressful trying to meet high demand, they certainly didn’t have the staff for it. It would all be over better today though. Y/N had gotten a text for Harry asking if she could come pick him up from the airport and Y/N couldn’t say no. Usually, he’d just get a car home, but clearly he wanted to see her. He’d said he ordered a car for her to come and get him in. She was dressed comfortably at the airport, even brought a cute little sign for him as she waited at the domestic gate.
Harry missed Y/N desperately. Too much. A lot. All those words. She was what he had needed, the cool water in the desert. Being away from her when they'd just started being together for real was difficult. Though they talked every day and texted and FaceTimed at night, it wasn’t the same. 
So he formulated a plan. A genius one if you’d ask him! One that would have her extremely excited and him getting all the alone time he was craving. Booking a trip to Bali and getting a private villa was a bit easy, not going to lie. He asked for things to be provided and they were— a perk of the famous. The most private villa— which seemed counterproductive considering their original terms, but he wanted to know her. See if this can really work out. Harry was 99% sure he loved her. But there were things he had to work through with her to truly get to the level he wanted to be. Talking about what bothered him even though word of mouth was a thousand times harder than song. Who knew inflection made things so easy?
When he landed, he had made sure that Y/N’s bag was in the jet. They were refueling and then taking off again. The private jet mainly because it was a longer ride and he wanted to start her birthday trip off well. 
“Well, well, well.” He smiled as he entered the private gate. She was in front of the car and holding a little sign. “There’s my girl. With such a cute little sign, too.”
Y/N was so excited to see him, patiently waiting for him to come out of the gate. When she saw a familiar head of curly hair she smiled widely, jumping into his arms once he was close enough and wrapped herself around his body. She nuzzled her face into his neck, “I missed you so much.” She mumbled against his skin. 
She pulled away enough to press a kiss to his lips firmly. She kept it tame, smiling against his lips before going to press kisses all over his face making sure she made a ‘mwuah’ sound. “How was your trip?” Y/N cooed, pushing pieces of hair away from his face so she could see him better. She couldn’t even wait for him to finish, she was always kissing at his face again. She really had missed him. 
“I don’t know if you’re hungry, but I’m thinking we can order in tonight and just have a nice cuddle and watch a movie. Just wanna hold you for a while. Can’t believe you’ve been gone for a week.” Y/N pouted, “how am I going to live when you go on tour?” She honestly didn’t want to think about that right now.
Harry relished in the greeting. None of his other girlfriends had ever been this excited to see him again. Actually... no one had. The kisses were what he had missed so much the affection was what had him thriving the most though.
“Hmmm. Well, that sounds very nice. However.” He smirked, gently placing her down and cupping her cheeks. “We are actually going on a bit of a trip. For your birthday. And our plane leaves in 45 minutes.” The confusion on her face was priceless. He loved how genuinely shocked she was. “Come on.” He took her hands in his and gently dragged her into the airport, taking the bag she had from the driver and ignoring her surprised sputtering, he dragged her further into the building. 
“Relax. I had my assistant grab the bag I packed when I came back for the two days.” He smirked. “That’s why stuff was missing. Yes I am devious, and you’ll adore me for it. But you’re being spoiled and it’s so close to your birthday. So, it’s my boyfriend duty to make you feel like one of those Disney princesses.”
“What?” Y/N’s brows furrowed as he spoke. A trip? They were going somewhere? For her birthday? Y/N took his hand and followed him, shaking her head as she chuckled in disbelief. “What about—” she went to ask but he had told her that he had packed her a bag. Y/N genuinely didn’t know what to think. “Wait.” She stopped him for a moment, just taking a look at him and soaking it in. “Thank you, so much. Really, you’re—” Y/N just looked at him fondly and gave him a hug. She really did love him with her whole heart, she couldn’t tell him that. She didn’t want to freak him out. “Thank you. You’re the best.” She smiled up at him and continued to walk to security. “Wow you got my passport and everything, you’re a sneaky bugger.” Y/N chuckled, shaking her head as they went through the security checkpoint and followed him to wherever they were meant to be going. “Babe? Are you going to tell me where we are going or?”
“Hmmm. Maybe in the plane.” Harry hummed. It was incredible to him that she just trusted him. Trusted to have her things she needed, didn't think twice and just nodded her head with a slight pout on her face. Trust was something missing in all his other relationships, he was finding. It didn’t take long to get past the checkpoint, Harry's hand holding hers and swinging it in his own as they got to the private gate. It was a room instead of exposed because their jet was just for them and the crew. “What I can tell you is that it’s warm, there is water, and you’ll love it. Can’t tell you the exact place but, you’ll love it and be so happy with me and it’ll be happily ever after.” He was teasing but he could see the excitement in her face when he said beach. Y/N deserves to travel. He knew it was a dream of hers so he was planning on letting her come to as many shows as she wanted. At least the Europe leg. Whatever he could do to keep her around longer.
Y/N pouted, but knew that no matter where they went, she would be really happy. She trusted Harry and he definitely would pick a fun place for them to, but what really mattered was spending time with him one on one. Sure, they spent a lot of time together doing things for PR but this was real. For the first time they were going somewhere together without Jeff planning it, they were a real couple and her contract was coming to an end. This was something that Harry had chosen to do for her because he genuinely wanted to and she couldn’t have been more grateful. 
“hmmm somewhere warm?” She smiled at that. “Ooo I can't wait to swim! Haven’t done that in a while.” Y/N giggled and wrapped her arms around him again as they got cozy in the private waiting room. “Was I the last person to know about this?” Y/N chuckled, seeing as she had gotten a text from her sister telling her to enjoy her trip. Katya definitely would have made sure Harry got all the things she needed, she probably told him where her passport and shit was.
“Exactly the last. Your sister helped me coordinate getting today off.” Harry smirked. It felt so good to have successfully pulled off this surprise. “When I was younger, I was terrible at surprises. You know that? My mum never had a surprise until I was about 12, because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.” Y/N seemed intrigued. “During Christmas... I was about 6... I waited just until she had a present in her lap that my sister and I had picked out. And I got so excited I had kept a secret, the moment she peeled back the paper I screamed that it was a purse.” He shook his head in disappointment in his 12 year old self. “Really though, I’m lucky. It’s all going very smoothly.” Harry was properly proud of himself, knowing that it was not his strong suit to keep from messing up surprises. “I am happy because I also bought you some new things.” His smirk turned devilish. The bikinis and the dresses he got would be so easy to rip off. Delicious. 
“But I want a proper kiss. Haven’t seen you in weeks.” His pout was soft but he gave her his puppy eyes, had on her waist.
Y/N smiled at the story she had heard him tell many times in interviews. She let him have his moment though, he hasn’t told it to her personally yet. That made it special. So she laughed at the punch line, smiling fondly at him as she cupped his cheek and pecked his lips. 
“I know, baby.” She cooed, letting her thumb smooth over the corner of his lips, the little bit of stubble there making her smile. It was cute really, the feeling of his stubble was she used to remind herself that this was real. That he really was finally hers. “Oh yeah?” She asked, wondering what he could have possibly bought for her? Dresses, lingerie, bikinis, sex toys? It could mean anything. “You are doing really well with the surprises, you know? Feel like you can tell me what you bought.” Y/N hummed, moving her hand lower cupping his neck.  Y/N crawled into his lap, deciding that since it was a private room they could do this if they wanted. A nice, proper, passionate kiss. It wasn’t sloppy, in fact the opposite. Every move was intentional. She quietly moaned against his mouth, just feeling so satisfied in that moment.
Harry hadn’t been able to touch her in a while and he had missed it. One of the things he kissed the most when he was gone was how she would make tiny little noises when they’d kiss. There were so many things that were purely Y/N that he adored so much, he couldn’t stop himself from appreciating them a thousand times more. 
“Missed you so much, baby.” He murmured against her mouth. Slightly wet and pink, her warm mouth melded Over his perfectly. She smelled like peaches and cream and mouth tasted like vanilla mint, and just that taste that was distinctively hers. “Don’t like being away from you so long.” Her fingers fit perfectly on the side of his neck, every bit of their bodies connecting like puzzle pieces together. There was something so different about her. So uniquely Y/N that no one else could even attempt to recreate. 
Y/N whimpered, “missed you too, bubba.” She severely underestimated how much she missed kissing him. His kiss was always firm, his lips plump, and he always tasted like cinnamon. It was the only way to describe the warmth of his taste. Her thumb brushed over his jaw, humming against his lips in response. “Neither do I, but I know it’s part of your job, baby.” Y/N sponged another kiss to his lips. “We’ll get better at it.” She spoke softly, pulling away a little bit to catch her breath and just look at him. The more times they spent time away from each other the easier it would get to get used to being away. 
“But... I got you some clothes. Some pretty dresses and bikinis. A few toys.” Harry hummed. Oh, she would be having a very fun few outings with him. “We will be experimenting a bit but it will just be the two of us for the first two days. I have to admit, I’m selfish with my time with you. I want the proper time to talk and kiss you. My sweet Malysh.” He’d been looking up nicknames as well.
Malysh. He called her baby. 
The look on Y/N’s face must have been priceless. Lips parting in surprise, eyes bright and full of wonder. Not only at what he has said about experimenting, but also at the word. She never knew she needed to hear him say that, but it was now her favorite thing to come out of his mouth. The corner of Harry’s lip quirked up at her shock. Sure,  he knew why. It wasn’t expected of him to be dropping those, but he felt like it would mean a lot to her if he would learn some more of her other language and speak a bit of it to her. Plus, he had the kink for the girl talking in it to him. So. Their sex had been filled with her purring things to him into his ear in Russian. A sure fire way to get him to cum. One time she had been sucking him off and asked him to cum in her mouth in the language and he lost it immediately. A bit smug, his girl was. 
“I learned a few. But I’ll hold some off on you. I’ll call you baby in English and Russian and you’ll love it.” Harry kissed her nose tenderly. Y/N was a happy bundle of mush on his lap after that word though. He hadn’t expected her to be so shocked but he did remember she hadn’t been in the room while he looked at YouTube videos to figure out how to pronounce them. “Want to be close to you. Figured... could learn some stuff on my own. Show you I meant what I said.” About being serious with her. About truly adoring every fiber of her being. He hadn’t told her that he loved her yet— that would happen through his sneaky planning he wasn’t allowing her to know of yet.
Y/N closed her eyes, purring as he kissed her face. All the affection she had been missing this week was being made up to her, she couldn’t wait till they were properly alone so she could truly feel like he had made up for his absence. He was buttering her up too, calling her pet names in Russian, it being her birthday, him buying her things. Him being so sweet and romantic made her want to jump his bones. 
“That is so fucking cute.” Y/N chuckled, truly endeared by hearing him say that. She didn’t care if he spoke in English or in Russian, but it was more the fact that he wanted to make her feel good and show that he was trying to be a part of her culture. It made her heart sing. She couldn’t be more in love with him. She pecked his lips one more time before nuzzling her face in his neck, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. “How long are we going to be away for?” Y/N asked curiously, wondering how he managed to schedule time off for her and for himself for this trip. She still couldn’t believe he did this for her.
“10 days.” Harry smiled. It was good just to hold her and make her feel appreciated and cared for. Being away for a few weeks made him crave her affection even more. He hadn’t properly even touched her yet. It was driving him mad. “I cleared my schedule for your birthday. I had asked Katya if she thought you’d rather stay home and have a party but she laughed in my face.” It was quite funny, actually. Having gone in on one of Y/N’s off days and questioning about what she thought would be the better plan. “And then I told her I would pay wages for two people to come help the workload so she wouldn’t be swamped, and she was very happy.” They truly were very busy in the bakery. Their food was adored. “She’s very funny, actually. Told me that you have a doll of me.” Her blush was immediate. “Oiiii. Don’t be embarrassed. I think it’s utterly adorable. It’s the one i found yeah? the one that makes me look like Susan Boyle?”
Y/N’s mouth dropped, “10 days?” She wondered how on earth he managed that. Maybe that’s why he’s been working so hard and been away for longer than usual? He had fully put off 10 days of his career for her. To her that seemed so crazy, cause the Harry she knew rarely took a break when preparing for an album cycle. “Aw, thank you baby.” She smiled, pecking his lips a few times. “I’m sure Katya really appreciated it. I mean, in all honesty we are so packed nowadays that I think we have to hire more staff once we get back anyway.” Y/N admitted, cringing at the fact Katya told him about the doll. “Yes. The Susan Boyle one for that exact reason.” She giggled, pecking his lips once again. 
Their chat was interrupted by the captain inviting them and the crew to come out into the plane. They were actually leaving now. Vacation would start now. Y/N squealed as Harry stood up with her in his arms. She grabbed the bag she had with her and wrapped her legs around his waist, holding on to his shoulders as he walked out to the plane. Harry held her in his arms. 
“Don’t feel like letting go.” Was his simple answer to it. She was warm and soft and smelled good, he had missed her and if she was okay with it he didn’t plan on stopping touching her until he was forced to.The jet was spacious, having a private cabin that they could take a nap in, a nice bathroom and plus leather seats. “For the takeoff we have to sit but then we can go lay in the bed back there and snuggle.” He murmured, gently placing her in one of the comfortable chairs. It was cute to see her first reaction. Just like his, seeming unbelievable at where she was. He had grown a bit used to it but Y/N gave him that lovely reality check each time. Her hand was grabbed as soon as seatbelts were buckled, gently squeezing when they took off. She seemed excited though— bouncing in her seat once they’d reached the proper altitude that wasn’t a bit nerve wracking. 
“Okay. I’ll be in the bed cabin with her, we will ring if we want something.” Harry said to the fight attendant who nodded politely, seemingly relieved to have an easy flight. “C’mon little kitten. We can lay and talk about where we’re going.”
Y/N couldn’t believe it. This was theirs, just them and the crew. She looked around in wonder, pausing when he mentioned the bed. “There is a bed?” Y/N’s eyes were wide. It was truly something she never thought she’d experience and yet here she was. Y/N began to get curious all over again. She wasn’t sure how long they’d be in the air or where they were going. He had given her a hint but there were tons of places where it was warm and there was water. All of which she would like to go to. She said a small thank you to the flight attendant, walking with Harry to the back of the plane. “This is so cool.” Y/N looked around in awe, quickly sitting down on the bed. She took off her shoes and pulled her hair out of its bun for comfort, glad she stuck with leggings, a T—shirt and Harry’s Randy’s donuts hoodie.
Harry loved when she looked so cozy and snuggly. It made him want to crawl inside the hoodie with her, snuggle up for days and not leave. Just have their skin against each other and be warm. It was a type of love that he had heard about many times but never expected to have himself. Wanting to be so close and hold her and kiss her. Not just sex. Not just attention. But genuine feelings. 
“Come on then.” He kicked his shoes off and laid with his arms open for her. The girl looked like she was beaming as he got a body full of Y/N launches at him. A fit of giggles left the girl and were very contagious, making him smile even larger. “Alright, silly girl.” He sighed. Kissing the top of her head. “So... I booked us a nice little trip. A private villa in Bali. It’s one of the most private places in the world for us. We can just... be together and not worry about anything else. Nothing has to be posted except what we want to.” Harry loved playing with her hair, so he gently ran his fingers through the locks while he talked, untangling ant little knots with care.
“Bali!?” She looked at him with eyes full of wonder, “private villa? Oh my god!!!” Y/N couldn’t help but get excited over these kinds of things. She had never been to a private villa, hell, she had never been anywhere this far from home before. The only person she’d ever think about doing that with was Harry anyway. Y/N let her hand cup his cheek again, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. “I’m so excited to be alone with you.” She whispered, “couldn’t have asked for anything better.” Y/N really couldn’t have. 10 days spent with her favorite person just doing whatever they wanted. No worries, no requirements, just whatever they wanted they would do. 
“We’ll go swimming and go see all the tropical animals and stuff! Maybe we can find a waterfall and swim there? I’ve always wanted to do that... feel like I always see it in movies and I just— I've always wanted to do that with you.” Y/N blushed, moving her hand from his cheek down to his chest, then his stomach, before finally letting her hand go under his shirt and just rest against his torso. It was still a lot to understand. That she had known him before she knew him. That he had been her crush for so long and he hadn’t a clue. It wasn’t bad, though. More so interesting to think someone he adored had adored him so much longer than he could imagine. 
“Don’t be embarrassed, angel.” Harry cooed. “I like that you get excited to do things with me. Trust me— s’a relief that I don’t have to compete with other men for all your attention. S’always been on me.” The primal part of him nearly purred at that realization. He had been the one she had loved and lusted over. “I’m happy to be all alone with you too. Always have had people over our shoulders, and I was a proper dickhead for a long time. Even though I just wanted to do this with you.” He had been so angry at himself back then for craving this— but he knew now it’s because his heart knew best. “I wanted to plan the best possible birthday for you. I think I know you well... but I want to know you so much better. Like you so much, and I want to keep going.”
Y/N smiles a bit to herself, “yeah, it has.” She giggled as she watched him get all excited about that fact all over again. Sure she knew Harry had given attention to other women, written songs about them that made her cry on his behalf. But she was here to fix it all, make him feel loved and help him realize that him being himself is what people love the most. “I mean, you were a dick... it wasn’t completely  warranted, but I’m letting it slide.” Y/N teased, “you definitely make it up to me on a daily basis.” She cooed, pressing a few pecks to his lips again. Y/N really couldn’t stop kissing him. It had been a whole week of being away from him and watching him through a screen. She was used to doing that, sure, but she hasn’t had to do that since before she met Harry. She smiled widely, “you definitely have... I always dreamed about being able to go somewhere where it was just you and me... where we could just relax and be... us.” Y/N told him genuinely, “and it’s all real. No one but us, that’s such a nice feeling.”
“Mhm. I have lots of things to ask you about too. Got a fan girl right here and I have access to all the dirty secrets!” Harry genuinely had been interested in getting to know how the fans thought of things and what she liked and didn’t like about his career and the band beforehand. “It’s amazing to me. That you were brought into my life so weirdly. Everything surely happens for a reason, but even so... seems too perfect. I wish I hadn’t ignored the way I was so pulled to you for so long.” He sighed, gently pulling her closer. His pout was soft but he knew that Y/N wasn’t upset anymore. “It’s a lovely Villa. I chose one with some glass walls facing the ocean. I got it stocked so we don’t have to leave unless we want to... but we can do whatever you’d like.”
“Dirty secrets, aye? Feel like I told you most of it. But yes, I do know too much for my own good.” Y/N chuckled, “like that story about surprises? I knew that story, but I wanted you to tell it to me. It was special.” She couldn’t help but blush, genuinely so in awe of him and everything he did. “And the story of how you told your mom that Gemma was a drug dealer.” Y/N often thought about their relationship in that context, feeling like she loved him more than he loved her because of just how much she knew about him. She tried her best to tell Harry as much as she could when he asked, wanting him to be just as informed about her. Y/N could tell he genuinely wanted to know too, but she didn’t like talking about herself that much. “UgH that sounds amazing!” Y/N moaned at the thought, “all of that. The not having to leave the house. All of it.” She hummed and leaned into him a bit farther deciding another kiss was overdue. Her hand was still under his shirt, making its way to his chest. “I missed you.” Y/N murmured against his lips, definitely referencing something a little less wholesome this time around. Now that they were properly alone, she could address it.
“I know, baby. Missed you too.” God, did he. After getting regular sex, mind blowing sex, and going back to his hand? It sucked. The phone sex was great, but nothing compared to touch her. Harry was a touchy person and liked her touches. Set him on fire. “Got so used to having you every day.. waking up inside of you. Didn’t have it and it was awful.” They’d had plenty of lazy morning sexy, initiated by either one of them. The perfect way to start the day, and being deprived of it was hell.” He murmured. Having a body like Y/N’s against his was heaven, though. Soft in places other girls he had been in weren’t— he had been missing out. Truly though? He was excited to know that he could work and try and keep her forever. “Hate being away from you. Got so used to being together every night, it sucked going to bed alone.”
Y/N hummed against his lips, “feel so empty when you’re not there.” She meant both literally and physically. She had been spoiled rotten with having him around. They didn’t technically live together, but she was basically around him every night. It was weird to have to sleep in her own bed, it didn’t feel the same. She missed seeing him read before bed while she did all her skincare in the bathroom, missed snuggling up to him and feeling safe and warm. “You’re here now though. Got you for a whole ten days.” Y/N smiled triumphantly, “luckiest girl in the world I am. I scientifically have the most attractive boyfriend in the world, have the most thoughtful and talented boyfriend in the world, and... get the best sex in the world as well.” She felt like she had won at life. Everyone wanted Harry. Everyone wished that they knew  him or were with him or could know him, and yet she was the only one that got all of him. Y/N got to experience just how incredible he was and she made sure that everyone knew it too. Not in a show offy way, but more in a ‘I’m so proud that this is my baby he’s so great and I love him, please keep giving him love’ way.
Harry snickered at that comment. Lord, she was funny. Talking about the scientifically perfect face,  apparently it was supposed to be true which was funny considering he had seen plenty better looking men in his lifetime. It only mattered to him that Y/N thought he was the good looking one. 
“Well... we have all the days now to be alone and have as much sex as we want. And we can stare at each other’s perfect faces.” He smirked. Y/N had the most amazing natural and raw beauty to her. Amazing with makeup, but even just bare faced he was shocked as hell. It was amazing. “I like to think about how I think you were sent to me like an angel.” He mused. “Was so mean and yet, you still adored me and gave me reassurance when I needed it. It’s amazing to me to think how much you’ve given me in such a short amount of time.”
“Mmm two of my favorite things, sex and staring at your face. Though I could argue it’s the same thing.” Y/N teased, kissing his lips. Sometimes she said things that were a bit more fan-like, just to see him blush and get his live reaction to it. “Think I just knew that you weren’t really a dick. Knew that when I had that panic attack after we went out to dinner, you didn’t have to do all that and yet you did.” Y/N smiled softly, remembering how reassured she felt that night. “As a fan I did nothing but adore you and as your girlfriend, who is still very much a fan, I’ll continue to do the same.” She didn’t know if he quite understood the extent to which he had helped her become who she was. Didn’t think he fully knew how many fans loved him just as much as she did but she was the lucky one. “Sometimes I wish I could let fans in on what it’s like, wish that they too could be in my place.... but then I remember it’s all meant for me, and that just makes me really soft.” She blushed.
“Mhm. Only for you.” Harry didn’t plan on dating anyone else. Y/N had him under lock and key and she barely knew it. It was still very new, and he knew that much. However he was hoping that maybe she would want to stay with him. For a good while. “It’s a good thing because I’m a liiiitle bit obsessed with you, sweetheart.” He admitted. “Showed everyone your photo when I was away working. They were all blown away by how pretty you are. Kept asking why you weren’t there and had to explain you work in an amazing bakery and it’s booming, so I couldn’t have taken you. Quite rude if you ask me.” He pouted, obviously teasing at the last bit. He decided then to dip his fingers underneath the pants she was wearing, getting some skin contact as well. Also,  he kind of just wanted to squeeze her ass. It was incredible. Perfect size, shape, was soft in his hands. He couldn’t wait to fuck it, when she felt comfortable.
Y/N giggled at that, “I think have you beat, babe.” She chuckled knowing that if they were talking about who was obsessed with who, Y/N took the crown. It still felt really good to hear Harry say that he was a bit obsessed with her. It made her feel really special. “Aw angel!” She cooed, “  but you know I would have been there if I could have.” Y/N said with a pout and pecked his lower lip a few times. “But know you’ve actually gotten me away for 10 days from my booming bakery. So I guess I can leave after all.” She said, pretending to be offended though it did warm her heart. They really just wanted everyone to know they were together and happy, wanted to show off each other's accomplishments.  She relaxed a bit more as his hand traveled under her pants, smirking a bit because they really had gotten comfortable with doing things like this whenever they felt like it. “Did you like those pictures I sent?” Y/N purred, remembering how proud she was of the nudes she had sent. They were perfectly custom, knowing Harry and what made him tick made it so easy.
The air changed a bit, the pictures rolling through his head. “Fuckin’ loved em. But the surprise ones you sent out while I was with lots of other people were quite naughty.” She liked to play with him and send photos he would open around others. Not of her face. Beautiful photos that he had gotten off to when she had already fallen asleep. He’d missed her touch too much. “Truly loved all of them. It was hard though, cause I couldn’t go home and take out all that lent up shit on you.” They’d teased each other plenty in the time they’d been official with photos and videos and dirty texts. It was hot, one of the hottest things. “Still can’t believe you went to the bathroom to take a photo of your panties during work.” He had been sending her dirty texts all about what he wanted to do to her that moment, and he had gotten a photo of wet panties in response. Even with her innocent face, she was trouble.
Y/N sat rather smug, enjoying the feeling in Harry’s hand rubbing and kneading her ass as if he was preparing her for what was about to happen. Well, she hoped it would. “That’s the point, isn’t it?” She had truly loved teasing Harry, especially when she knew he was with people or if he wasn’t expecting it. The only thing that would make it better would be being able to see his reaction. “Don’t know why you can’t believe it, that’s a very me thing to do.” Y/N chuckled a bit, her eyes turning rather dark as she started looking at Harry with a much more hungry gaze. “Talked about spreading me open and making me squirt... I was about to call you right in the bathroom.” She admitted, knowing she definitely would have gotten off at work if she could. 
She really was amazed at how compatible they were in all forms of the word. In style, in taste, in sex drive, in neediness. It was as if they were made for each other and frankly it had Y/N thinking that maybe she wasn’t crazy when she was younger thinking the same thing. They really were that couple.
“What? s’one of my favorite things. You know I love it messy.” Harry did. Y/N had spit in his mouth and vice versa multiple times, their kisses got wet, he let his face get covered in her arousal. There was so much they did that he loved. “Would have been nice to have called me so I could have helped you get off in there.” He would have done it in seconds. Y/N got very needy and more obedient when it comes to sex. They luckily were both people pleasers and got off on it. “Know what I’m thinking about?” He dropped his voice a bit. “Thinkin’ about fucking you on this bed. I like that you get loud. Could let that attendant hear how good I fuck you.” He could feel her squirm a bit, a sign she was aroused. “Hm. I think you like people being a bit jealous, too. Like when people know that I’m yours and that I give it to you.” Harry noticed little things about her like that. “Also keep thinking about that first night, when you let me rub your cunt under that bar. How easily you spread your legs for me so I could touch. Loved that.”
Y/N whimpered at the thought. “Way to call me out like that.” She mumbled, climbing so she was on top of him. Y/N knew he said he wanted to fuck her, but part of her really enjoyed how he manhandled her and pushed her down on the bed. “You’re mine. Love knowing people wish they were me,  a power trip it is.” She hummed and sat up so she could take off the sweat shirt and T shirt at the same time so that she was just in a bra. It was quite a sexy bra. It's a shame though, as Harry had felt, she hadn’t been wearing panties. 
“Hm. Got prepared for me?” Harry noticed the lack of panties and pretty bra, way too pretty to casually wear under a sweatshirt for no reason. Y/N knew she would be getting fucked decently soon after seeing him. He leaned back in the pillows, rubbing his hands down her sides. All of it was his to lick and suck and kiss, to cum on— he knew just how much she liked getting messy. 
“Have to call you out on it, my angel. It’s the hottest thing. I love that you’re a bit cocky about it.” About him. She was that proud of having bagged him. 
Y/N smiled down at him before moving her hands down to the hem of his shirt and began pushing it up. “You get a bit too cocky sometimes, have to remember I have to share you.” Y/N spoke, eventually removing the T shirt he was wearing and letting her hands smooth over his warm skin. “But this part of you? I have all to myself. Don’t have to share your cock with anyone, cause it’s mine.” Her voice dropped a little, hips adding a little pressure to his. Y/N wanted to lean down and kiss him but she really wanted to see him snap. A moan escaped her at the thought of them doing something like that again. Y/N knew that would be one of the most erotic experiences of her life, watching other people watch Harry made her cry from pleasure. “Gonna let me ride your cock in here?” She asked curiously. They had been fucking raw for a while. Y/N had started taking birth control when they started dating because it was part of the contract, it had come in handy though, especially because Harry loved to fill her with his cum.
“Mhm.. Gonna have you walk out of here with a cunt full of cum. Have it dripping down your thighs and gonna feel it all.” Harry loved that. “Know I used a few pairs of your panties I stuck into my bag to get off.” He loved doing that. “Came right on the part where you pussy would be. Felt so fucking good, like you were almost there with me.” He pressed his hips up into hers, quickly taking over and flipping them. Hovering over her always made him feel good. “Would you let me do that for you one day? Wear my cum around all day, remind you of who your precious pussy belongs to?” Harry had been deprived for a long time, so dirtier desires were coming out for her.
“Fucking love when you cum in my pussy.” Y/N growled a bit, nails digging into his skin. Harry was a freak and she loved it. It was something she only hoped was true about him and everyday he just proved to be more and more exciting in bed. She gasped when she said he came on her panties, giggling to herself because it was romantic in a way. A modern and kinky romance. Y/N moaned as he flipped them over, getting excited about getting to feel him. “Mhmm yes.” She hummed, letting her legs wrap around his hips and dug her heels into his backside to feel more pressure. “Get them wet all over again. It’ll feel so fucking good..”
“Know it will. You’re my dirty girl, always know you’ll let me have what I want.” It was amazing to truly be with someone who’s as open to anything with him. They were completely at ease with trying things and being filthy with one another— something he hadn’t ever thought possible. “Let’s get these pants off. Want to be inside of you.” Harry had missed it far too much, the way that she would clench and tighten up around him, how wet she got. Truly a delicious thing. 
The waistband of the bottoms were grabbed, and Harry threw them to the side— his own pants following shortly after that. Just in his briefs, he returned to humping over her cunt. Immediately he felt her warmth seep through the thin fabric. “Gonna make anyone who can hear jealous. I love that you’re so vocal for me.” He knew this must have felt amazing, the friction of his briefs on her clit, her legs tightening around him. Taking her wrists, he pinned them above her head And held them together with one hand.
“Feels so fucking good!” She moaned out for him, smiling at the feeling because Y/N truly missed it more than anything. Feeling the weight of his cock on her, the friction, it was driving her absolutely mad. Harry had done an incredible job at getting Y/N horny, all this sexual talk always got her going and she was positive he knew that. She couldn’t believe how quickly she had gone from being insecure about her body to feeling like she was the most beautiful woman in the world all because of Harry.  “Swear you’re the only one who can make time this wet without touching me.” She breathed out, a few squeaks and moans coming from her whenever he hit a particularly good spot. As much as she loved foreplay, she really just wanted him to fuck her. She’d missed his cock and was eager to have him fill her. “Please get in me.” Y/N begged, knowing that he’d either fuck her like this with her leg hooked on to his shoulder or take her from behind and rub her clit whilst doing so. Regardless, she wanted it.
Harry groaned in relief once he was inside of her. She was still incredibly tight, stretching around him as he slid himself inside. Her body was the perfect match to his, Harry lifting her leg so he could get even deeper inside of her. Kisses were given, his mouth sipping at hers as he gave a bit of time to adjust for her. It had been a bit since they’d been intimate. It was slow at first. Giving them both time to relish in the pure feelings they felt for one another, holding tight to each other as Harry got all the way in deep. As soon as she was adjusted though? Harry let loose a little. Thrusting shallowly, breathing in her whimpers of pleasure. It was wet and hot in her silky cunt and Harry couldn’t get enough of it. 
“Don’t want to stay away from my pussy this long again. Da, Kiska?” Yes, Kitten? He snuck that in there.
Moans spilled from Y/N’s lips as Harry pushed himself inside her slowly, the slight burn of her walls stretching around him grounding her in ways she never thought imaginable. “You’re so fucking big.” She whimpered against his lips, “feel my pussy stretching for you? Feel how wet I am for you? All for you.” Y/N wasn’t sure if it was because they were up in the air or because they hadn’t fucked in a while, but the feeling in his shallow thrusts was already doing bits for her. The position of her legs allowed him to hit really deep, but he still rubbed up against her clit every time he moved his hips. She couldn’t kept her fucking mouth shut though, definitely being loud enough for the flight attendant to hear. “You look fucking sexy..” She breathed, “gonna make me cum so good... I’m so close.”
Y/N swore it was a dream. The villa was remote and stunning, private as private could possibly be. She had never been spoiled and cared for in this way, not only during this vacation but before then as well. Harry had managed to spoil her properly rotten and it seemed like with each day came more and more surprises. She couldn’t tell what her favorite part was. Was it the fact that they were completely alone? Was it the incredible mind blowing sex they were having? was it being able to constantly touch him and do whatever she wanted? Y/N really couldn’t choose, all the material things were just that. Y/N had been tanning every morning, wanting to soak up all the rays that she could before they returned to a dreary London. She had noticed Harry had been away for awhile and she started to wonder what he could have possibly been up to. Something seemed suspicious. 
So, she got up from her chair to come inside and get a glass of water and maybe some tropical fruit to snack on from the fridge when she noticed Harry was arranging a bunch of boxes in the living room area. Y/N stood there quietly, sitting on her water and watching as the muscles of his back moved. He was wearing those little yellow trunks she told him she loved, his hair staying in place from the sunglasses he had put on top of his head. He seemed so focused. 
“You good babe?”
“I’m great, my love.” Oh? Harry was having a ball. Y/N was looking gorgeous and giving him her undivided attention, he was about to give her tons of pretty presents for her pleasure and things he had been eyeing— he may have jacked her Amazon one night and sent himself the list so he could buy everything off of it. He rounded into the kitchen, grabbing her waist. The skin was hot from her being in the sun, soft from the lotion he had rubbed on to her body just a few hours prior. He was buzzed and feeling good. “I got you some presents.” He sang quietly. “I know I went overboard but please don’t be upset. I promise that I love buying you things and this was an ultimate excuse. Plus, there are some things in there for my selfish pleasure. So.” He laughed, pulling her back into his body so he could kiss all over her neck noisily.
Y/N raised her brows, giving him a ‘what are you up to?’ look. She set her water down as he made his way into the kitchen, taking one more piece of pineapple to nibble on as he spoke. “Babe...” She pouted, seeing as he certainly did go overboard. The amount of boxes in the living room was insane and she couldn’t even begin to imagine what on earth was in them. She couldn’t be to upset with him, he seemed so excited to have bought her all these things and she genuinely was thankful and grateful. She just couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that all of this was for her. The trip, the gifts, everything. It was all for her. “Is there now?” Y/N giggled as he kissed at her neck, scratchy because he hadn’t shaved in a bit and they were on vacation so he probably didn’t want to bother with that. “Thank you, baby, really. You do too much for me, can’t ever seem to thank you enough.” She cooed, kissing the side of his head and letting one of her hands play with his hair. “When do you want me to open them? And in what order hmm? Or are you gonna make me wait till tomorrow?”
“Can open them whenever you’d like. I have no particular order. Tomorrow’s gift isn’t one to be opened, per say.” Harry was vague for a reason. But Y/N knew he always had something up his sleeve. Now he was able to keep a few secrets. “I have to find a way to say thank you for eating all this fruit.” He nibbled on her a little bit. “Always taste good but taste especially fabulous these past few days.” He knew it had to do with the fresh fruit that was plentifully supplied. “However, I’m very much excited to see you open the things up. I got two extra suitcases delivered as well so they can be brought back easily.” It was a plethora of things she liked. Some books, makeup, shoes. Clothes. A few sex toys. A vibrator he could control on his phone. Lovely things.
Y/N rolled her eyes, “there is more tomorrow!?” She couldn’t believe this man. He was doing the absolutely most and she genuinely didn’t know how to react. Of course she was grateful and happy, but she truly couldn’t keep herself from bubbling over for much longer. Y/N was completely and utterly in love with Harry and she couldn’t say it yet. She wanted him to say it first, wanted him to feel ready to say it. “I like fruit though. I’m glad you’re enjoying it too.” Y/N giggled and pulled away from him slightly, making him look at her so she could grab his face with her hands and kiss him properly. Harry deserved it. He was doing so much for her, most likely because all the relationships he has had in the past have been different to this one. He had told her many times that she was different and frankly, she wasn’t a supermodel who could buy whatever she wanted or go wherever she wanted. She owned a small business and Harry was treating her. “Thank you. Really. You are the best, not because of all of this, but because you thought of all of this and did all of this for me. I have no words, baby.” Y/N cooed, rubbing her thumb over his tanned cheeks. She wanted to say she loved him in that moment, but maybe her eyes said it all. Y/N pecked his lips one more time before walking over to the array of boxes, deciding to open the smaller ones first and build up to the big ones. “Okay, this one is the lucky first one... let’s see.”
The first box was a little skincare thing that she had wanted. Apparently it vibrated and pulsated to clean skin but he didn’t know. It was on her list so he had gotten it for her. 
“I got you a lot of stuff that I asked around about and then other things I knew you’d like.” Like an apron that said ‘kiss the cook’ with the cook crossed out and baker written on it. It was adorable in his opinion. There was a pair of earrings with cupcakes on them because he had seen her eying them at the boutique they’d gone to months ago. A faux leather notebook and pen set for her to jot down things. He had gotten her everything from that, to a vault of lipstick that was limited audition, to a Gucci bag and boots.
Y/N squealed as she opened every box, giggling because he really had gone above and beyond to get her all these things that were certainly things she wanted but didn’t need. She would never justify buying these things for herself, but Harry did. 
“Baby!” She cooed, looking at the Gucci bag and boots. “Definitely your girlfriend now.” Y/N teased, seeing as Gucci was Harry's signature thing and now she had her own. She definitely had worn a lot of his custom stuff before, but this felt really special. “This is so sweet, H— you.” She couldn’t even form words, moving on to the rather large boxes because she couldn’t imagine what was in them. Opening the box she saw how sleek it looked and realized it was this big because it was sets of lingerie. Neatly organized, making sure the cups of the bras weren’t deformed. “Oh my—” Y/N breathed out. They were gorgeous, truly stunning. Harry did have great taste, she never doubted him, but this was next level.  The other larger box had quite the sex toys in it and she was even more shocked to see what he had picked out for the two of them. Y/N looked up at him, picking up the dildo that looked very much like his cock. “You molded your cock? For me?” She smiled, looking at it and noticing just how accurate it was. Every little detail. Y/N noticed there was a button on it, ��it vibrates!?”
“Well... have to give you something to help. I know you won’t want to leave the bakery for a whole 6 months while I tour, and it’ll be back and forth for us. But you also tend to be cranky if you aren’t able to be fucked proper. So... helps you out.” It was a dirty gift but thoughtful, nonetheless. “Keep thinking about that silk dress you wore out to the club the first time we were truly together, too. So I have to get you some more of those... But if you look here.” He took the smaller box out. “This... is a vibrator that I can control from anywhere. You put it inside of you, feels just a bit good when you walk around. But any moment I can take out my phone and turn it on as high or as low as I want to.” His eyes were full of mischief. Oh, Y/N would love that. “Cause we like to play around and can’t exactly do it out in public a lot— as much as we would like to, anyways. Can be very fun.”
Y/N blushed, “definitely will be putting this to good use.” She admitted and set it to the side. It was her favorite gift if she was honest. Harry would be away but she could still be stuffed full of him even if it wasn’t the real thing. Obviously the real thing was better than anything else, but at least it would feel incredible when she came around a familiar shape. “Know you loved that dress, huh daddy?” She smirked, it was the best decision she had ever made. Certainly it was the sexiest she had ever felt and frankly it was the hottest night they had ever shared together. “I really like this purple one... and the baby blue.” Y/N nodded, knowing she’d get good use out of these dresses at other events. They were similar but not exactly the same. She looked at him with eyes full of wonder as he pulled out the vibrator. It was small but she could tell it was mighty. “I swear if I cum in front of everyone at the bakery...” Y/N blushed at the thought though it was also the hottest thing in the world to her. “Could also use it when we FaceTime..” She hummed at the thought. “Could make me cum from anywhere in the world. I’ll put it on my clit and use the dildo..” It was a dirty thought but Harry would appreciate it.
“Exactly. And I’ll definitely be making you cum at the bakery. There’s no way I wouldn’t.” Harry scoffed. Yes— he was very much a man of his word when it came to that. Y/N tested him daily so it was only fair, right? “I’m going to try and wiggle as much time with me as possible, though, 100% going to make sure that you come to as many shows as I can squeeze from you. Know you won’t be able to do it all but... m’selfish. Want you with me whenever I can have you.” He wasn’t ashamed of that either. 
Y/N knew he would admit that, making her cum in her own place of work. Y/N knew as soon as she felt it happening, she would have to hide in the back or something. No way could she help customers like that, god no. 
“I’ll be texting you as soon as it happens.” She knew she would be, feeling him tease her from wherever in the world he was. “It all depends on if we can get help for the bakery. I think we have saved up enough where we are actually going to renovate and finally get that space upstairs sorted so we’ll be closed for a month or so.” Y/N explained, having been working on that for a while. “I could be on tour with you then dunno where in the world you’ll be, but I’ll come with. It’s um early summer.” 
“Sounds like a definite plan.” Harry had planned this whole trip out and was so unbelievably excited at the thing. How had he been this lucky? Been able to give his girl things, to even find her to begin with? He was just incredibly grateful for his life at the moment, and he knew Y/N was too. “Baby... when it comes to the bakery, I really wouldn’t mind loaning some money to you guys for help and repairs. And by loaning I mean, give you money and say you can pay me back but I will refuse it.” He smirked, stroking her arm as she looked at some of her gifts. “I have money. I’m not sitting here saying that to be facetious but, I have money I will never spend in my whole lifetime. Being able to help you and the others at the bakery makes me happy.”
Y/N looked at him with a sweet smile, “That does mean a lot and I appreciate it. I do. But you know, I signed that contract and I have all the money from it... and it’s all going to the bakery.” She told him, realizing she never told him why she actually signed the contract. One of the reasons was because she was a fan but another one was because of the money for the bakery. 
“If I ever do need it, I will let you know. But even being affiliated with you already brings a lot of business.” Y/N blushed, setting all of her gifts to the side so that she could crawl into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him, pecking his lips a few times as she always did. She pulled back a little, playing with his hair as they sat and chatted. “Thank you for all the presents, baby, you are incredibly sweet.” Y/N cooed, “for everything... for the trip, for the gifts. You do so much for me and I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.”
“Of course, my precious girl. Trust me. It’s my pleasure to spoil the hell out of you.” Harry promised. Y/N made him so happy, it was only right that he got to spoil the girl that made him feel on top of the world. Truly. “It��s only the beginning for us. You’ve no idea how excited I am to have the both of us together like this. That we get some alone time. That makes me feel incredible.” He felt happy at this moment. Totally at peace. “I know that I’ve been so quiet and private my last few relationships but.... I love making you happy. I love people knowing that it’s you and I together. If that makes sense? S’like, I don’t mind anyone knowing that we are together. I’m proud to show off our little team.”
“It’s been the nicest thing and it’s only been like three days?” Y/N sighed in thought, “I mean, I love being with you back home too, but it’s nice to just have you all to myself. Don’t have to share with anyone or split my time between you and work.” She really had been so relaxed, comfortable in just being with Harry without any other obligations or eyes watching them. It did however, warm her heart to hear him say that he didn’t mind people knowing they were together, “really?” She asked in a truly touched tone. It meant a lot to her, to think that she had made him feel comfortable enough to show that side of him to the public even a little bit. As a fan she knew Harry was a very private person, she never expected him to confirm a relationship or speak about how he felt unless it was in the form of music. “I’m definitely proud to show you off and I know it’s a big step for you to even somewhat confirm that you’re with me. Like, I know we had to for the public, but you’ve never... done anything like what you’ve done with me and it makes me feel really special. It really does.” Y/N was dying to see the three little words.
“It’s a lot— or it was before you. I didn’t like people knowing. I don’t know if it’s because I was embarrassed to be with them... maybe it’s because I didn’t want to lie directly to fans. It felt weird.” Harry admitted. “Yeah... think that may be part of why. It feels odd. Because this is a real relationship and people are quite invested in us. It’s not fake or something people hate. You know?” He tilted his head. “I dunno. It just feels right. A lot of things do, that didn’t before.” He murmured with a smile. Y/N was glowing today. Looking so beautiful, happy. Content. “I like showing you off. It’s so much fun. Especially with how you are with me. We are drawn to one another.”
Y/N smiled, listening intently to the way he spoke. Harry has a very Harry way of explaining things. It was something that was so authentically him and he didn’t even realize he did it. “I try to tone it down in public though, don’t want people knowing I’m a sex pest.” Y/N joked, but she sort of meant it. She wanted to maintain their privacy a little bit, didn’t want everyone knowing everything. “I like to think we work really well together. You keep me grounded and I feel like I get you to be a bit more vulnerable and kinder to yourself.” Y/N said softly, “you definitely taught me to be that way though... but I don’t blame you for not taking your own advice. I’ll happily remind you how amazing you are everyday.” That was true, she could go on for ages just hyping him up for the smallest of things. “So proud to call you my boyfriend too. Not only are you incredibly talented, you’re legitimately good at everything that you do. There is nothing you don’t do well. You’re so handsome and you’ve got the biggest heart on the planet. Everyone loves you, baby.” Y/N cooed, genuinely just so gooey over him.
“Stooooop.” Harry blushed, burying his face in her chest. Little Y/N had him on his toes all the time and he wouldn’t have it any other way, truly. The only woman who made him blush besides his own mum. “You’re so sweet. But you’re very talented too. Swear, never tasted lemon squares like the ones you make. I’m not even big on sweets, but it makes me very happy to think about the fact that I am dating the world's best baker. Would be a right shame if it was anyone else. Wouldn’t appreciate the goods correctly.” He was playful with her. He’d found himself being so serious lately, the past two years, that he had felt completely out of it. But she puked that part out of him. Mae the jokes flow.
“Never!” Y/N giggled at his reaction, kissing his head once again. She lingered there for a moment, just taking in his scent. His hair smelt like a mix between his regular scent and salt water, also a hint of coconut from the sun cream they had been using. It smelt like her personal version of paradise. “Of course, baby. Should put ‘Harry Styles approved’ on every item on my menu. Only the highest ranking of deserts get your stamp of approval, huh?” Y/N teased, petting his hair as he stayed hidden in her chest. They had a whole week to spend like this, that was the best part. Completely free of all worries. 
----
Harry watched Y/N from the side of his eye as she scrolled on her phone, giggling to herself. He wasn’t sure what she was up to since he had gone to grab her a drink but he knew she was up to no good.
“What are you doing there, pet?” He quirked his brow as he came up next to her. When she realized he had the pina colada in his hands she gave him the ‘gimme’ hands which made him chuckle under his breath. Sometimes she was such a baby, and didn’t even realize it. Sitting down next to her, he handed the drink to her greedy little hands before resting his chin on her shoulder. The door was wide open, allowing the island breeze to swirl around their little villa. The sliding glass doors that looked into the beach and pool were usually kept this way. It was about the middle of their vacation together and he was having the time of his life. Just being around her rejuvenated him in ways he didn’t think possible.
“Hmmm?” Y/N hummed, taking a sip from her piña colada. “I’m just on Twitter.” Y/N mumbled with a small smirk, “your fans are well funny, you know?” She told him as a matter of factly and took another sip from her drink as she pulled up the tweet that made her laugh. It was one of those ‘I’m literally just vibin’ edits that always made her giggle. Y/N leaned back into him with a hum, “Know you don’t use social media much, but I’ll start texting you screen shots or something. You’re missing out on comedic genius.” She turned her head to look at him a bit and pecked the corner of his mouth. “You look cute.” Y/N muttered, pressing another kiss to his slightly sunburnt nose. He looked like he did in the lights up video that he recently came out with, all glowy and tanned. She was completely and utterly in love with him, that was a fact. Y/N had been for years really, but everyone said it wasn’t the same kind of love. That true love. She agreed though, that the love she felt for him now was much stronger than it ever was. Still reminiscent though. It made her feel so soft inside knowing that she got to love on him everyday and that she could just pick up the phone and call him whenever she missed hearing his voice. That she got to cuddle with him whenever she wanted to and kiss him and tell him how proud she is every single day. It was something she always dreamed about doing, the soft domestic things. 
He was the love of her life, always would be.
“My fans? Yeah. They’re pretty great. M’dating one of them.” Harry gave her a goofy little smile, kissing her lips three times, making an obnoxiously loud noise when he did so to make her laugh. Her laugh was his favorite sound. God, he was in love. And for the first time, he knew that she wouldn’t break his heart. He had confidence that Y/N loved him back and wouldn’t do what anyone else tried to. It was proven in the way she was around him, how she gave him kisses so tenderly and didn’t need to show off. She was so happy to not post a thing if she didn’t need to, just to be around him. He had a few more defining questions for her, though. Just to make it clear that he meant business and to see if she did too— or if he would have to work on it. Settling in next to her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and out his legs up on the table, letting her throw one of her legs over his thighs. “What do you see in your future? A big question but... ideally, in a year or so, where do you want to be?”
Y/N laughed as he kissed her, moving her hand up to wipe the extra slobber off her lips pretending like she was disgusted when she wasn’t at all. It was cute really, the way he was with her and the way he knew how to make her laugh and get her all giddy without trying all that hard. It didn’t take much, Harry still gave her butterflies the same way he did all those years ago when she first saw an interview of his. She moved so both of her legs were across his lap, locking her phone and setting it down before moving her hand up on his chest to play with his cross necklace. Y/N was a bit surprised at his question, never did she think he’d be asking her something like this about half a year in. He always seemed to be so cautious with his relationships and she felt he’d be the same with her, especially because she was a fan.
“In my future?” Y/N repeated back to him, looking up at him with her eyes all innocent and suddenly serious because it did mean a lot to her. “Well... I’d like for the bakery to be booming, but it already is....” She paused for a moment, taking her eyes off of his necklace before looking back up at him. “It might sound really cheesy, but I don’t mind where I am a year from now as long as you’re there.” Y/N said honestly, feeling a bit bashful because she really did mean it and she’d never said anything like that to anyone let alone someone as important to her as Harry.
“Yeah?” Harry's smile was soft but it was a relief. She wanted to just be with him. It was about the same for him. “S’a good thing I feel the same then.” He was teasing but obviously meant it. His fingers drew circles on her thigh, finding comfort in touching her skin. It was warm and he felt just... soft, around her. “Guess m’just thinking about the future. How I want you in mine. As long as you’ll let me have you.” He murmured, playing with the hem of her dress, feeling a little bashful himself. “I thought I had everything planned out— to an extent, I do. But I realized I needed to ask you what you want.” He cleared his throat and looked back at her face. “You see this as long term, yeah? Don’t plan on anyone else?”
Her smile was wide, that soft and bashful expression locked on her face as he spoke. Y/N swore her heart was beating so hard she could feel it in her throat, scared that it would fly right out of her if she wasn’t careful. Sure they talked about their feelings a lot, but they had never properly talked about what they wanted out of the relationship beyond just being a couple. 
“Of course I do.” She spoke genuinely, her eyes scanning his for any sign of uncertainty. “It’s only ever been you.... only ever going to be you.” Y/N told him and swallowed thickly because she was essentially saying she was in love with him without actually outright saying the words. Y/N knew how Aquarians could be and how they could run from commitment unless they themselves wanted it. He had to be the one to say it. It made Y/N nervous. She wondered what he had planned out, wondered what it was that he wanted out of his future since apparently she was in it. Sure they were a very coupley, they had spent nearly everyday together and essentially lived with one another, but it has all just been fun, the beginning of their relationship. Something was telling her that Harry was starting to see it as more and that made her very happy. She wasn’t the only one.
“Good. Cause— I’ve been thinking lately. About us, how you make me feel like the most comfortable I’ve ever felt in my own skin. I’ve been scared to truly tell you how much I want you for... forever, essentially. Don’t want to scare you off.” Harry swallowed thickly. Y/N was it, as people said. “I don’t want you calling anyone else baby. I don’t want you with anyone else. I want you. S’selfish maybe. But I’ve been thinking it through and I figured out that I’ve got to stop beating around the bush with how I feel and tell you that I think about it long term.” He wasn’t good with talking about feelings but he was making himself be for her sake. “I’ve never been this content in a relationship. Always looking for the other shoe to drop. I don’t feel that with you.” Y/N had him at ease. “I wanted to ask... what do you want? Out of life, out of a relationship? Outlining a dream life, I would want to know. Want to see if I can make it happen.”
Y/N’s hand stilled on his chest, simply resting it flat against his sternum as he spoke and felt that his chest too was beating faster than usual. His heartbeat was slow and steady naturally, but she could tell that he was nervous. It made her feel a bit more calm and she hoped that he too would feel calmer with the way she was looking at him with the utmost adoration in her eyes. 
“Just want to be happy... that’s all I want. I just want to be happy... and for you to be happy and.... and if we’re talking about forever, I want our kids to be happy..” Y/N was soft yet firm, wanting him to know she was in fact serious about what she was saying. “Because my dream life has always had *you* in it. Even before you knew I existed, you give me everything I’ve ever wanted and then some.... couldn’t even begin to think of what else I could want.” She chuckled and shook her head because she felt really soft and mushy. Properly giddy. “You’re my best friend. Know I can trust you with anything, know you’ll be there to support me, know that no matter what you’ll always be there and you’ll always get me and that’s all I could ever want out of a relationship.”
She said our kids. That made Harry feel... so many things. She really wanted to stay and be with him. Forever. It was an utter relief to know he wasn’t alone in thinking about that. His smile took over his face as he leaned and hid his face in her neck, kissing the warm skin there. 
“Want that too. But I’ll always be there for you. M’happy that you know that, even so early on. A lot of my past relationships didn’t have any trust. On either ends. But I never even question you anymore. At first, we know I was scared. But I just know you’ll be there.” He pulled his face out of her neck and fixed the hair that had come out of her little messy bun. “Kids... how many?” He asked quietly. “Where do you want to settle eventually? S’a lot, I know. I just… I think about it, a lot.”
Y/N cooed as he nuzzled his face in her neck, her eyes fluttering shut as she brought her hand to pet his hair and kissed the side of his head a few times because she was just so in love. She constantly wanted to smother him in her affection and she was so happy that he liked it. Others would say she was far too clingy, but Y/N just loved to show her love. Wanted him to know she was constantly wanting to love up on him in any way that she could. 
“Four.” She answered before he even finished talking. Y/N always always wanted a lot of kids, her maternal instincts told her that she definitely wanted more than one. She felt like four was a good number, frankly, if they had more they’d have more. “Somewhere in England, feel like it’s our home no?” Y/N has also thought about it a lot, before she met him but even more when she did meet him. Getting to know him and his preferences helped with that as well, helped adjust her daydreams into something that could become reality. “What do you think? How many kids do you want? Where would you like to settle down?”
“I’ve always wanted a lot of kids.” Harry admitted. Y/N would make an incredible mother. She had all the traits of a good one and he was beyond glad to think she would be the one mothering his children. He had a soft spot for babies and that much was apparent. “It’s a dream to be a father. I’ve adored kids and to have my own... I’d love it.” He would be so excited to have any baby. “I want a place in the states and England. London or around my mum, most likely. I want to travel with you, see more places but... there’s nowhere that says home rather than where your family is. Got Jeff in California and my mum here so...” He shrugged. Anywhere Y/N would like would work too. “Considering you’ll be the one carrying my babies.. it really is up to you how many we have. However, I’d like as many as we can manage.” Harry placed a hand on her stomach. She wasn’t pregnant yet, probably wouldn’t be for a while but, the thought had him warm. “Don’t jump at this question, because m’just wondering.... your stance on marriage?” He asked gently. “S’it something you’d want? I know some people are against those types of contracts and things along those lines.”
If you told 12 year old Y/N that she’d be sitting and talking about having kids and marriage with Harry Styles one day, she’d be just as overwhelmed as 22 year old Y/N was right now. She always had to pinch herself at times, to remind her that she wasn’t dreaming and that this was her life. That Harry was her boyfriend and wanted a future with her and well... it was everything she’d ever wanted. Truly. 
“Feel like I’m pretty old fashioned, quite like the idea of getting married one day... I like the whole concept, think it’s beautiful.” Y/N said with a slight blush, her hand reaching up to cup his cheek because he too was smiling like an idiot as was she. Thank god they were alone, anyone looking in would probably feel sick just from looking at how sweet the two looked. Y/N leaned in to press a sweet kiss to his lips, just because she really wanted to. It was quick, because she knew he’d want to talk. She bit her lip and let her thumb caress his cheek. Y/N really did love him, she’d do whatever he wanted really and the best part about that was knowing that what he wanted was what she wanted and so on.
“Perfect. I do too but, if you hadn’t wanted it I would have adjusted.” Harry knew that he would bend over backwards for her at this point. Y/N had him by the balls. The best part was he didn’t even care. “What type of wedding have you dreamed of? I know that people dream of their weddings when they’re younger... I picture you as a dreamer, so what was the dream?” He asked, leaning into her touch. The love was so obvious in their eyes and actions and damn, they were talking about a fucking wedding. But Harry was positive that this was the girl he was going to marry. He didn’t want anyone else.
“I have a board on Pinterest.” Y/N whispered, knowing that it would make him laugh because that was definitely something Y/N would do. She kissed his lips one more time and went to unlock her phone, opening up Pinterest and showing opening up the wedding folder. It of course had all different kinds of things, from color schemes to aesthetic ideas. She even had a picture of a ring or type of dress she could possibly want. Everything was thought out. “Think I’d want to have a destination wedding somewhere warm and romantic... like in Italy or something. Then again, wouldn’t mind having one in England either but...” Y/N blushed, realizing she was in fact talking about a theoretical wedding between the two of them. “But I’d like to invite whoever is important in our lives... whoever would be happy to know we are happy and just, would love to celebrate with us.” Y/N shrugged, “reckon Jeff should get ordained or something.” She teased but was also somewhat serious.
“I would like a destination wedding too.” Harry smiled. The thought made him happy. Feel warm and fuzzy knowing she was thinking about him when she would be walking down the aisle. He wanted it, wanted her to only want him. Ever. “I agree. I would do whatever you’d like but, a smaller wedding in terms of people would probably be better, the most important people. Surrounded by trust.” Y/N was so good for him. They clicked on everything. “I think it’s a once in a lifetime thing— or, for me it will be.” He smiled lightly at her. “So it will be as special as we would want it to be. I’m sorry I’m throwing these things at you I just... I love you. You know that, baby? Want forever with you... planning these things out, having an idea of what our life could look like just makes me happy.” Harry wanted her to know he wasn’t trying to rush her into it but was just looking for general ideas. That’s what he wanted. But he did want her to be up front with him. Wanted her to tell him honestly what she’d like and dislike.
Y/N felt her eyes tear up at his words feeling so beyond happy and lucky that he was hers. Of all the girls in the world who loved him, she was the one he loved. “I love you too... so much.” She told him and let out a chuckle because she really was about to start crying at how goddamn happy she was. She was turning 23 tomorrow, on a romantic trip with her boyfriend who was her best friend, the person she loved more than anything in the world. Y/N could possibly have asked for more. “You mean so much to me, you know that. Can never properly put it into words. I just love you, so much. Always have and I always will.” It was something that she had always wanted to say to him, truly she could never express how much she loved him but considering the fact that they’d just talked about marriage and having kids? She could safely assume she had her whole life to show him everyday just how much she loved him.
“I love you, little lady. So much.” Harry pulled her to sit on his lap and then in his arms to rest against his body. Thankfully the seat was soft and he could recline a bit, feeling the warmth fill him when she hid her face in his neck and kissed on the sling lovingly. “You’re the best thing to happen to me. I’m not just saying that. The fact you’ve given me chances even after I was a cold hearted dick, regardless of the fact I was protecting myself— you understood and forgave me. You were so kind despite it all and it’s something I admire so much of you. You’re always being kind to anyone who needs it.” He stroked her hair as she laid against him. “I just want you to see how much you’re loved. Every day, you amaze me. And I want to plan my life with you. Make you see how much I adore you.”
Y/N wrapped herself around his body like a koala, breathing in his scent deeply when she nuzzled her face into his neck. He was always so warm and smelled so good, it felt like home to her and she was so happy that this was forever. She wouldn’t want it any other way. 
“Knew you were only being a dick cause you refused to give me a proper chance.” Y/N mumbled against his neck, pressing soft kisses to it that made small squishy noises whenever she pulled off. “Couldn’t resist me.” She giggled and blew a little raspberry against his skin before pulling away to look at him properly again. “But you do, baby, everyday... and I hope I show you too, everyday, just how much I love you.” Y/N said with a bright smile, “Devoted my life to you a long time ago, have the cringe tweets to prove it.” She teased, “you didn’t have a Y/N stan account did you? No.”
“Couldn’t resist you at all. I knew that night... the one at the club in that silk fuckin’ dress, that I’d be done for. I’d been trying so hard to not give in to my wants for you. It was so difficult and I know it but, fucks sake. You turned up in the car and looked so beautiful, tempted me so much.” Harry could drool thinking about that night. “I felt odd about how much I genuinely liked being around you. You were amazing and kind and I wasn’t pretending when I was with you— s’more pretending after. I loved going out to do things because I had an excuse to myself to talk to you.” He sighed. “You’ve no idea how badly it killed me when I saw all your posters torn down and in the closet. That... I was your idol in a sense and you’d been to my shows and bought my sweater and I had treated you so poorly.”
“You love that bloody dress. Never shut up about it.” Y/N teased, pressing a few kisses to his lips. “Knew when I bought it you’d die when you saw me in it so I just had to wear it that night.” Y/N explained, “it proper pissed me off that you were in denial, cause I sure as hell wasn't pretending and I could tell you weren’t either... I knew when we went to that date at the cafe.” 
Y/N always thought so fondly on their early days, even if he was a right dick to her. She just had a gut instinct that it wasn’t real, that he wouldn’t actually act that way. Seeing him cry in her room that one night proved that she was right too. It made her feel hopeful again. “I know, baby... but, I would have done it all ten times over.” Y/N said honestly, “I know it sounds really cliché, but you did so much for me and my confidence when I was younger that even if I chucked all the things into a box and never looked at them again... I could never actually hate you. Ever. The things you and the boys did for me is truly something I could ever replace.”
“I’m glad I was able to do that for you. That you found comfort in me and was able to feel confidence. And now look at us.” Harry kissed her lips. “Do you know how much it kills me that you were in the audience while I was performing and I didn’t know you yet? That I could have had you so much sooner but I didn’t?” He sighed. Granted, it worked out because only the last tour she would have been legal but, still. “I think everything happens for a reason. You know that? I think that the reason you were sent to me from the universe is to show me how to love and trust again. And you’ve done that so well.” He was so trusting in her. Loved her more than he could ever explain. “S’crazy. To think that someone I can consider my soul mate was right under my nose for a while and I didn’t know. Wait!” He looked at her with wide eyes. “Did you read those... fan fiction thingies?”
“Yeah. Yeah I was right under your nose, fucking shaved pussy and everything.” Y/N told him with a straight face, knowing it would make him laugh. It was a meme but every one direction fan did it, showed up looking their best and coochies shaved just in case. “Really thought whole heartily as a 14 year old that you would see me and think, ‘wow I want to have sex with her’” She mocked his accent. “Did you know, you once spat water on me and it was the best moment of my life.” Y/N said as a matter of factly, “reckon I still have all the photos from all the shows on my phone... if you wanna see.” She knew he would like to see them and hear her commentary in the moment. Maybe seeing her in context would ring some bells. When he mentioned fan fiction Y/N’s eyes widened, looking at him with raised brows. “Of course I did.” She bit her lip, “Some of it is really fucking hot, I tell you. And it’s scary cause a lot of it is accurate. Like people know how you fuck just by looking at ya.”
“I spit on you? The fans seem to love that shit. I love watching them freak out. Aw... and now I spit into your mouth while I fuck you, baby.” Harry cooed, pinching her cheek. “What a glow up, as the kids say.” They often joke about him being an old man and not having the same ‘knowledge’ as the fans. “Wait... I’ve never really read it. I know a fan fiction of me is a movie but everyone told me it wasn’t worth the read so I haven’t.” He chuckled at the thought. At least someone was inspired by him enough to make things. That’s how he thought of it. “How do people... know how I am?” He questioned. “I’ve always been a bit interested but afraid to actually look.”
Y/N rolled her eyes as he pinched her cheeks, opening her mouth for him nonetheless and waited for him to spit in it because she wanted him to do it now. Why not right? She continued on as if hadn’t happened, smiling happily as she continued on explaining about fan fiction. 
“You have this energy about, guess people can assume you’re quite kinky based on your songs and the way you act or say things.” Y/N chuckled, “not so secretive about it... we all heard medicine and watermelon sugar.” She pointed out before pulling out her phone to go on tumblr and pulled up some of her favorite writing. “Essentially how it works is like... you’re the muse. It’s not always like you as you are presented in the media. Sometimes it’s you and your personality but just like being a football player, or a ceo, or a pornstar or whatever it may be... it’s called an AU or alternate universe. Sometimes it’s you, as is. The dorky rockstar we know and love, that’s called canon.” Y/N felt like it was pretty straight forward. “There are some really hot ones either way... what sounds appealing to you?”
“That’s... a lot. So basically, some are just me playing a character... but my name?” Harry questioned, furrowing his brows. “And others are meant to be me me. That’s interesting.” He was confused but also endeared. How he got such creative fans, he wasn’t sure. “I’d never judge too harshly. I’m happy I inspire people to do things and write things. As long as it’s legal, I’m okay.” He would never shame them for if. Maybe he didn’t understand but that didn’t mean it was bad. “Read me one of your favorite ones then.” He snuggled her up in his lap, keeping her close.  “Being the muse is nice instead of having one. But you’re about to have many albums written about you, little miss.” He teased, squeezing her waist. “Bet you aren’t ready for that one.” 
“Yeah, baby.” Y/N giggled, endeared that he was trying so hard to understand. “Some are characters that are adapted to have your personality and appearance, other times they’re genuinely writing about you and what they think you’d do in a certain situation.” She explained and got all cozy in his lap with him. “You’re such a good boy.” Y/N cooed and kissed his cheek, “I love you.” She smiled and puckered her lips for him to kiss before she went to look for something to read to him. “Ooo okay!” She smiled, “So this is a popular one. She’s an incredible writer really. Think she has really creative ideas and a specific style and well... she knows how to write you really well too.” Y/N looked at him and watched his reaction to what she was about to tell him. “This story is about the reader, I’m going to use my name, and you... but in this story you’re a single father of a son and you need a babysitter.” She explained and realized how porno-esque it sounded, “and it’s not like that!! It’s actually really sweet and wholesome.” 
Y/N began reading the story, outlining how essentially her character had been walking her dog in a rich neighborhood because she wanted her dog to have nice grass to walk around on and what have you. Established that Harry lived in one of these nice houses and how his son, Teddy, had seen her dog and wanted to pet it. How she tried to act like she lived in the neighborhood cause she was embarrassed and how after running into each other on multiple occasions, Harry urgently needed a nanny.
Harry listened with interest. It was a cute little story. Very wholesome when it came to the fact that it was him as a single father and a little boy. He’d never be a single father though, he’d never let Y/N go. However it was a good idea for a role play in the bedroom— he’d bring that up later though. 
“It’s so incredible to me. She’s so talented in her writing and manages to make it so anyone could insert themselves into the story. And she typed out my accent which is odd but also cute.” Harry chuckled, leaning his chin on her shoulder. “The fact that I can inspire someone to write a story at all blows my mind. It makes me happy; too. I hope she goes for writing as a career. I like how she made me in this.” He squeezed her. “But what else do you read? How many people write these?”
“S’cute isn’t it? It makes people feel comforted, you know?” Y/N told him and kissed his nose, “people love you, baby... you’re so lovely and people value that. You’re special, you’ve got character and you’re interesting and witty and just good at everything you do. It makes it easy.” Y/N shrugged feeling like it made perfect sense. She raised her brow when he said what else she read, smirking to herself. “Oh, I read some filthy things too.” Y/N admitted and went to go find something properly dirty to read. “Easily hundreds if not thousands...” She said and nodded her head. 
“Ah! Here we go.” 
Y/N has pulled up a fic that was about a mob boss version Harry. It was filthy. Full of smut that even made Harry blush. His brows rose at the content she was showing him. It was so dirty. For younger people they sure as hell could write good sex scenes. 
“Christ, baby. You’d sit and read this? Get wet doing it too?” He loved that though. “Maybe it’s the narcissist in me... but the fact that I’ve been the one to get you off since day one makes me a little crazy.” Harry chuckled. God. She didn’t even know what it did to him. It was an ego boost definitely. “Just... god, you know I don’t mean to get dirty, my love. But the thought of you in bed and making yourself keep quiet when you touch yourself because people are asleep... s’so fucking hot.” He let out a breath, hiding his face back in her neck. It really got to him in the deepest parts.
“Mhmm...” Y/N hummed as a matter of factly, “Literally every night.” She told him and felt her face heat up because she was turned on in telling him this, turned on because he too liked the idea of her getting off to him for all those years. “Proper wet too... like, seeping through panties wet.” It was true, she remembered many nights that she got all worked up over reading fic about him. Y/N smiled as he nuzzled his face in her neck, giggling because he was clearly turned on by the thought of it. “Glad you think so, definitely makes me feel a lot better about it... never felt guilty about it but... knowing you like the thought of it... makes me feel good.” She cooed and kissed the side of his head. “So yeah, that’s your little fanfic intro. Hope you enjoyed it.” She hummed, glad to be closing the chapter before he asked if she herself had written fanfic about him before. Y/N has deleted a lot of it because she didn’t think it was all that good, but there were some things she had kept.
“It’s so interesting to me that people write this and read it but now I’ve seen it, I have to say it’s good. I’ve never been on this site much— tumblr.” Harry read the name of it. “Niall went on it once and they had a proper laugh over some of the stuff. I think it was those photo things with quotes that people think we have said?” He was trying to remember. “Either way, it was funny. But this is next level stuff. And the stuff you read.” He smirked. Oh, his girl. It was a weird comfort to him that Y/N has always been attracted to Hmm. Always wanted him. He was her dream man. She was his dream girl now. He couldn’t imagine having anyone else. He loved her body and her mind, how she spoke and how she treated him. It was like the best case scenario in every option. “I love the thought of it though. Maybe m’just a greedy bastard who likes being selfish with your pussy but, knowing I didn’t have to share it much... that I was the one that got you wet? It helps me.”
“How romantic.” Y/N teased, brushing some of his hair away because it was getting quite long. Y/N loved it though. “You always cut your hair right when it’s the perfect length.” She spoke out loud, “noticed you always did that before... but then I realized that you look good no matter what your hair looks like, and then I don’t get too upset.” Y/N shook her head a bit. “What I am upset about though, is that I didn’t get to experience you in 2015... in the flesh. Because fuck me....” Y/N felt herself got hot over the thought of him with long hair, wearing those patterned button ups. It was the beginning of an era, the precursor to solo harry. She felt it was prime time. “Literally, since the long hair you just kept getting more and more attractive and I physically don’t know how I’m going to handle you getting hotter every year, I already feel like a nympho. What are we going to do about it?” Y/N asked like it was a genuine concern of hers. “The struggles of having the hottest man in the world as my boyfriend.”
Harry let out a bark of a laugh, kissing the side of her head in fondness over her. God, she was something else. His little angel. How had he gotten that lucky? He didn’t know. But the compliment had him smiling. 
“Well, thank you— but we will just have to figure out how to satisfy your sexual appetite. Can’t say I mind at all.” He smirked. “Hell, we’ve had some good sex here. The best I’ve ever had. You just know where to touch and how to make me feel good. S’a little freaky how well you know me.” He snickered.  “But see... I can’t wait to watch you grow as well. Grow more confident and show yourself off a little bit more. When you get pregnant with my babies... god, it’s gonna be so hard to keep my hands off. I think that will truly be my downfall. And right after, with all the softness. I love thinking about it.” 
Y/N blushed, smiling at him like a kid who got her way when he said they’d figure something out to keep her satisfied. That’s exactly what she liked to hear. He was right about their sex though, it really was incredible. “Definitely don’t think it’s freaky when you’re cumming down my throat though.” She teased, knowing that’s not what he meant but she wanted to remind him anyway. 
“Knew you had a thing for pregnant ladies, always wondered how you’d be when you got a girl pregnant... and it’s going to be me.” Y/N smirked smugly, “that’s sexy.” She giggled before thinking about it for a minute. “S’why you like my tummy?” Y/N asked curiously, “cause I’m all squishy and maternal? Reckon you have a breeding kink... think about putting a baby in me a lot, hypothetically.” Y/N did like to pick at Harry’s brain, likes finding out things about him that she could interpret or integrate into their lives. Ultimately, Y/N loved to make Harry happy, to keep him pleased and satisfied with life. It made her really happy.
“I think I do. I’ve never explored that, obviously but... the thought of getting you pregnant does arouse me.” God, did it. It had worried Harry a little, and at first he hadn’t been sure why but now he was going to embrace it. “I do love your tummy. S’soft. I love touching and kissing it. Even just normally. I love that you’ve got curves. Something for me to grab on to and caress and kiss. It’s so sexy.” He had been missing out beforehand. Y/N was where it’s at. “A breeding kink though.. you’re most likely right. I’ve never specifically done anything with that because I’ve never felt comfortable but, I’m happy to tell you that the moment you tell me you want a child I will take off weeks to make sure there is one in there.” He smiled when she rolled her eyes playfully. “The idea does make me hot, though. Probably isn’t something to mention in public because I’ll get hard.”
Y/N felt all giddy at the thought, loved that he loved her body and that he got turned on at the thought of getting her pregnant. It was incredibly empowering, something that a woman who was naturally maternal and nurturing loved to hear. 
“You really shouldn’t have told me that.” Y/N chuckled, “because now I’ll definitely make sure I tell you in public whenever I do wanna have a baby.” She really did mean it too. She would remember this moment and be sure to tell him in a public place so that they could rush home and get started. That was extremely hot. Besides, it wasn’t like doing stuff in public wasn’t a thing for them already. Y/N looked at him fondly, simply just appreciating this moment because lord knows when they’d next have a period of time where they could just hang out like this. She was going to miss him when he went on tour, knowing she couldn’t follow him everywhere. “I love you.” Y/N said once again, “thank you so much for this trip, I know you said that it’s nothing but it’s something... a big something. Means a lot to me that you even thought to take ten days off your busy schedule to just go away and spend time with me one on one... and all these gifts on top of that, I’m truly the luckiest girl in the world.”
“Of course I would. I’d do anything for you, my love. You make me so incredibly happy all the time, it’s only the beginning of what I’ll be doing to make you happy and to show my love.” Harry promised. She had no idea of the things he was going to do for her. The way he would move mountains and stars for her if he found he was able to. She was going to be the most spoiled little thing on earth and truly had not a clue. Her whole life, he would be looking for things to do for her. “If you need me, I’ll drop everything for you. I’ve seen how people in my situation can ruin relationships by not making time for their partner. I’ve seen the mistakes and I know that I won’t make them. You mean too much to me to ever even risk losing.”
Y/N smiled fondly at him, pressing soft kisses to his chin, cheek, nose, and lips. “You’re an angel.” She cooed, pushing some hair away from his face and sighing out in content. “What time is it?” Y/N asked curious because she was a little tired, who would think all this relaxing would make her tired? 
They went for a swim in the morning usually, laid out and tanned, explored some of the town and of course they fucked. Whenever they were in the mood, they did. It was simple as that. Granted, that’s how it usually was, but here it was a bit more constant. The two of them barely clothed all the time, tanned and sweaty. 
“I would say let’s go for a walk on the beach, but I’m quite enjoying this cuddle.” Y/N hummed, letting her face nuzzled into his neck once again. She closed her eyes, still gently scratching at Harry’s scalp. Y/N had a feeling tomorrow would be quite the busy day, it was her birthday after all.
“Me as well.” Harry liked holding her. “I love having you like this. Sometimes I feel a bit clingy but, I love being able to touch you and feel you.” He admitted. How he would ever survive weeks without her, he didn’t know. “I know a lot of guys don’t like to show their emotion when it comes to this stuff but, I don’t know how they hide it. I hate the idea of not being with you like this. It was hell trying to pretend I didn’t want you on my lap beforehand so of course M’gonna eat this shit up.” He kissed the side of her head, hands rubbing up and down her back. “Think it’s round dinner time. I can call and get it brought to us. Tomorrow we are going somewhere special.” He was excited for their plans tomorrow.
“I like that you’re all clingy like me, makes me feel like less of a weirdo to always want to be touching you.” She giggled, “always thought you’d be... but then again you seemed to be so private and not about PDA. I mean, you’re still like that... but less with me.” Y/N did feel really special. She knew that a lot of it was for PR initially, but after that, he seemed to be completely okay with them being a bit lovey dovey in public. Holding hands and kisses and stuff, not thing too major. It made her feel good, she liked that he liked to show her off. Harry didn’t go to many award shows but she was excited to get to see him in his element and maybe be a plus one at some point. She’d love to wear some designer outfit and support him live and in person, interact with all the celebrities and gush about how much she loved Harry.
“I think I’ve never felt comfortable enough. For a few reasons— but the way people get invested in my relationships, I’ve never wanted to disappoint fans when I’d break up with them. It was odd. But I don’t feel like we will. So... I feel okay with them getting more invested in us.” It was an odd thing but since Y/N was a big fan, he knew she would most likely understand the reasonings he had. People were very sensitive when it came to his dating life and while he may not understand it, he knew that Y/N did. He didn’t want his fans upset if they didn’t have to be. 
“I also didn’t want those photos haunting me for years. You know? I didn’t want people to use them against me when I ended up out of the relationship.”
Y/N nodded her head, knowing exactly what he meant. “I get that. You know how you say you think I know more about you than you do? It’s the same with fans. We love you and want to protect you and naturally some people have a strange way of showing it and get jealous.... just want people’s intentions to be pure.” She explained and let out a sigh. “Like, people are always going to hate, but i'm sure even you can tell the difference to how fans have responded... people love genuine love, and if there is any hint of deception people see it.” Y/N knew first hand, watched the way people ripped Kendall and Camille new ones and roasted her whilst there were significantly less hate comments about Y/N. “It’s really nice knowing your fans like me? Dunno, I feel like I’m one of them, because I am... I guess they feel represented.” Y/N smiled and felt herself blush, “would never do anything that would make them feel like I felt on a higher level... I’m still a fan, just cause you’re my boyfriend doesn’t change that.”
“I’m glad. I think maybe that’s what I’ve needed? Someone who understands that and doesn’t resent fans for wanting that for me.” Harry had always thought about it and tried his best to truly understand their heads. “I’ve never gone into it being like... I want a famous girlfriend. It’s just who I was exposed to. But I think that’s where I went wrong. I needed someone who wasn’t from this type of life, who wasn’t so jaded and guarded from everything.” Y/N was everything he could have wanted. “It makes me happy to think about you being friendly with the fans. Being more open with them is something I want to do with this next album, you know?” He dipped his hand under her shirts to feel more of the skin. He was greedy for touch. “I feel like... I hid so much of myself to protect myself in the band. Had to pretend I was a certain way because I was trying to protect my inner feelings that I haven’t been fully honest and out there.”
“If you never went through it, you wouldn’t know what you really wanted though. It taught you so much about yourself and about life and that’s what is most important. We all go through our own personal customized hell for a while and if we learned what we were meant to, we are gifted with what we have always wanted.” Y/N smiled brightly against his skin, kissing it softly before pulling back to look at him again. “The fans know that, they respect you. Most do. They want the best for you and want you to feel comfortable, just like I do or gem or your mum.” Y/N cooed, cupping his cheek. “I think they’d really like that, you know? They’ll appreciate it that much more because they know how much it means for you to be open.” It warmed her heart to think he was finally ready to be himself in the public. Sure he always had been, but to be even more vulnerable and to be more open with the fans and with his message. It was so inspiring. People loved that Harry was unapologetically himself and that would only continue. “I’m proud of you.”
“It’s been difficult but seeing you... as a fan beforehand, wanting me to be like that made me realize a lot. That you all genuinely want me to be happy. Which, in my eyes, is amazingly comforting.” Harry admitted. Y/N helped him so much. She didn’t even realize it. “I’m happy you’re mine. S’something that I just can’t believe sometimes. That you were placed into my life at such a perfect time.” It truly did shake him a little, how the work worked in that sense. She was perfect to the finest degree. At least to him. “I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. Not to scare you or anything— but I just think that you’re my forever and the fact that I can say that now makes me really fuckin’ happy.” He grinned. Y/N was changing him for the better.
Y/N smiled brightly, truly so happy that she was in fact completely and utterly in love with him the way he was with her. She’d never thought it would actually happen, only ever hoped and prayed that the day would come. “I’m so happy that you’re happy, never have to be shy in saying anything with me yeah?” She meant that. He could say anything at this point and she would be there supporting him, listening, and doing her part. “I love you. The most.” Y/N answered back to him, mirroring his grin right back. She felt like she owed it to him to be there for him in this time the way he was there for her when she needed most. To think that they’d be together forever, or that he even wanted forever with her? That was the best present anyone could ever give her. She’s found true love and she couldn’t be happier about it. “Forever.”
----
Harry woke up early. It was Y/N’s birthday, and he decided to make a post on his instagram— a personal one. One he hadn’t done, ever. 
‘It is my favorite human's birthday today. My Y/N. 
These years of life have turned you into one of the most intelligent, kind, and interesting creatures on this planet. The ability to turn my mind around about many things— including sharing bits of my life like this. 
You are what makes me happy to get out of bed in the mornings. You make me coffee (black even though you hate it that way) and you sit and play with my hair until I wake up properly. You know I dislike avocado on my sandwiches and offer to switch every time I end up getting it by mistake. You take the time to ask me about my day and what I’ve eaten to make sure I haven’t forgotten. 
It’s been a long while since I’ve felt the care for me like this. I’ve never felt comfortable enough to share to the world that I love someone so much that my heart aches with what I feel is over capacity emotion. We’ve all read fairy tales and wanted that one true love. I’ve been lucky enough to find it. 
To find someone that fits every piece of you is so incredibly rare. I’m well aware of how lucky I am and I will never let you go because of that. Facing my fears is something you’ve made less scary— this being one of them. Teaching me vulnerability isn’t as terrifying as it seems, rather it is a release. 
So many things you’ve done to make me happy, and I’m looking forward to a lifetime of doing the same for you. 
Happy birthday, my sweet love. 
H’
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A/N: FIN. 
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s1rcus · 3 years ago
Text
Second Chance (NatDex/Blackhill)
Rating: Teen and up
Words: 1555
Fandoms: Marvel, Stumptown
Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Dex Parios, Original Female Character
Additional tags: Reincarnation, Post-Avengers: Endgame, Reincarnation AU, Stumptown Crossover
Summary:  After Vormir Natasha wakes up in a new world where she has a different name and works as a ballet dancer? She also finds a familiar face she has missed, when her best friend/co-worker, Katya, drags her into a bar on a Friday evening.
Authors note: So this a thing I've been working on pretty much since I watched Stumptown. There's also a little cameo for one of Emily VanCamp's characters because I've been watching the Resident and rewatching Revenge recently.
Story below the cut or in AO3 here
The last thing Natasha can remember was her falling. She rubs her eyes and sits up in a bed, the covers pooling on her lap. A bed? That can't be right. She very much remembers falling to her death to save Clint from doing that.
A phone goes off on the nightstand next to her. She grabs it and realizes it's an alarm she had put on. Dismissing it she gets up and heads towards the bathroom. She's not alarmed by the fact that she clearly knows where it is until the shower is running. Something is very wrong.
She gets out of the shower and dries her hair with a towel and wraps it around herself. She goes to check the mail to see who's apartment this is. Veronika Bobrova is the only name in the few letters that lie in front of the door. She's starting to think she's hit her head or something but then the phone starts to ring again and she goes to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Vera where are you? We're starting in fifteen minutes and there's so much I can do until someone notices you're not here."
And with that voice her life flashes back to her. She is Veronika Bobrova, a ballet dancer. They have rehearsals for shows during daytime and during evenings they teach children. Her class is on Tuesday and Thursday evenings so today was a free evening. She shakes her head to clear her head.
"I'm so sorry. I had put the alarm wrong. I'll be there as quickly as I can. Thank you Katya. I owe you some drinks or something."
"I'm gonna keep that in mind."
She ended the call, got dressed and grabbed a toast on her way out of the door.
-----------------
And Katya did keep it in mind. When Friday evening came she was being dragged across town to a bar she had never even heard of. Bad Alibi was such a weird name for a bar anyway.
Katya sat down at a table and Natasha went to order them a couple shots of vodka. When she got back and was sitting across from Katya, she saw a face she knew she could never forget. It didn't matter what had happened, if she was Natasha or Veronika or whoever she was supposed to be, but that face she could never forget. It was Maria. Somehow she hadn't even thought about how her sacrificing herself to keep Clint with his family and to get everyone else back would affect her. Does that make her a bad girlfriend? It probably doesn't even matter anymore. She's dead. In that world at least.
She must've been staring for a while because Katya speaks up next to her.
"She's actually the reason we're here. She's a PI and I really need help with the Jack situation."
Before Natasha has time to really say anything, Katya has downed the rest of her drinks and is making her way towards the woman who looks like Maria. She comes back with her and sits next to Natasha while the other woman sits across from them.
Veronika had never been this happy she was single, while Natasha was happy that Veronika actually was single. Being single had never been a problem for Natasha, she actually kinda preferred it, but Maria had proven how wrong she was. While Veronika definitely hated being single. That probably shows the difference of how they grew up. Or so at least Natasha thought.
The woman says her name is Dex Parios and she asks Katya to explain her situation to her. Natasha hears none of Katya's explanation, barely registering Katya introducing her as her "emotional support". She just keeps staring at Maria/Dex, whoever she is.
This version is way more laid back as her Maria. She's more like the Maria Natasha got to know. The one who'd watch movies with her and eat popcorn. The one that'd cook her dinner after a long mission. The one who called her grandma every Sunday evening no matter where she was. The one Natasha fell in love with.
After a while it becomes too much and Natasha excuses herself, making her way outside. Without a thought she digs through her purse and pulls out a small carton. When she's holding a lighter on her other hand, she makes a face. Of course Veronika would have a bad habit Natasha couldn't stand. She puts the lighter back into her purse and throws the carton to a bin. Leaning against the wall she takes a deep breath. She needs to get a grip.
"What's going on with you? You've been weird these past few days."
Of course Katya would follow her. She needed a lie, a good one. Because telling her best friend that a couple days ago she woke up and suddenly she has all these memories of another life in her head. A whole new personality that had mostly taken over. Maybe just telling a partial truth would be for the best.
"I quit smoking."
"Oh. Well good for you! I was expecting something totally different. Maybe even something bad."
"What? That I joined a secret agency and killed a bunch of people?"
"Uh, no? That was weirdly specific?"
"Sorry, just a dream I had. How'd it go with the PI?"
"Good. She said she'll contact me when she has something."
Before Natasha even realizes she's speaking, she's said her thoughts out loud. "She's so beautiful."
"Oh?"
Shit. Does Veronika date women? Did Katya know if she does? Natasha tries to start thinking back on the memories she's still trying to figure out but it's still all mixed up with her own memories.
"She didn't really seem your type. Well, mainly she wasn't blonde or rich."
Okay, good. Yes to all of the questions. Wait, blonde and rich? Why is her memory showing her Carter in fancy clothes and why does it hurt? Not really important right now but she does need to figure out her mixed memories.
"Well, you saw those eyes yourself. You tell me they weren't the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen."
"Sure." Couple beats of silence until Katya lets out a breath and continues, "I'm heading home. You wanna share a cab?"
"Oh?" Looking back inside where she could see Maria/Dex. She's got a second chance in this and she has to take it. She shakes her head. "No. I'm good. I think I'm going to try to get her number."
"You know I have her number right or you could just get it online?"
"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Natasha smirks.
"Fair enough. Don't have too much fun without me though."
"No promises. I'll see you on Monday."
"See ya."
Natasha watches Katya wave a cab and makes her way inside. She goes to the bar and orders a beer. Not really her choice in drinks but Maria had liked it and she had got used to the taste. Also maybe getting drunk while she's mixing memories isn't a good idea and beer isn't strong enough to get her drunk. She moves to a table with her bottle and sits down. Slowly sipping her drink she keeps her gaze at Maria/Dex. Dex, that's her name and she really should start calling her by that. She isn't Maria, just looks like her (and maybe sometimes acts like her).
It doesn't take too long before Dex catches her watching her. Natasha flashes her a quick smile and shifts her gaze to the table top. Dammit, she's way off her game. This isn't how Veronika did things and her body keeps betraying her by doing small things the way it used to. When she lifts her eyes back up, she sees Dex making her way towards her.
"I was wondering if you'd come back," is all Dex says as she sits on the empty chair across from Natasha.
Being this close to her makes Natasha feel at ease, Maria always had that effect on her, and having a gentle smile on her face feels almost effortless and natural.
"How so?" Natasha responds, tilting her head as she tries to read Dex. It's hard, because she clearly isn't Maria like her brain and heart are telling her. Was she interested in her? Part of her was saying yes, but the other part couldn't get a read on her.
"Someone like you doesn't stare at a person without a reason. Either you're hoping to get something or I have something on my face. And I checked myself in the mirror after your friend left, so I'm pretty sure it's the former."
"Someone like me?" It's a challenge and Natasha knows that Dex knows it too.
"Fuck. I didn't mean it like that. I-"
Natasha smirks at her, "I'm just messing with you. I know what you meant. Let me buy you a beer?"
Dex is smiling now and suddenly Natasha has butterflies in her stomach without a reason. She blames Veronika, but it might also just be her.
"I don't think you buying me a beer at a place where I get them always for free is fair. But how about I'll get you one?"
Maybe she really does have a second chance at this. Natasha smiles at her, "I'd like that.
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kitaychan · 3 years ago
Text
White flame
Chapter 18
Rating: M
Warnings: Blood, Psychological horror
General Summary:  As their two Kingdoms get closer to a war, the past keeps on hovering around their choices. Prince Ivan has a hard time controlling his magical powers while being tormented by a mysterious ghost and Prince Alfred embarcs in seeking a revenge that might cost more than it’s worth it.
Preview: A fire started, the coals turning bright red, the flame was white, dancing rapidly. Chun Yan gasped, grasping his shoulders and shoving him back.
Ivan’s hands trembled, his heart hammering on his chest. “I’m sorry, are you hurt?”
“I’m fine,” she said, retrieving her hands. “I think I've just ruined your coat.”
Ivan paused, shaking his head, there were black fingertips imprinted on the fabric. A chuckle escaped him. “I can’t believe you’re worried about the coat.”
“I’ve only seen blue flames,” She said, observing the fire and reaching out her hand, pausing. “What did you think about to make it white?”
Chapter 18: Family
The sunlight emanating from the window was warm, strange, though she would not complain about the weather, this year the winter seemed to be kinder to them. Yekaterina smiled as she observed her penmanship, the soft traces of ink were perfect, she was proud of her doing, Maddeline had praised her writing before and Katya was happy to provide her with a poem so she could keep it as a gift.
Looking over the desk, she saw that old looking silver clock, holding it lightly, she observed the hour, 2 o´clock, it couldn’t be that late, she woke up early in order to finish the letter, it couldn’t be possible. A soft chuckle escaped her as she noticed the clock was still, maybe that’s why her brother had left it there, the window opened harshly, a cold breeze moving the curtains.
She straightened her posture, her back aching from slouching over the desk, her feet were cold and her hands were messy, splotches of ink on her fingers. She approached the window, the gardens were vibrant green, a bit wet from the early coldness, she could see her brother fooling around by the fountain, dragging along Tolys.
Some days, she wished she could have been born a boy, she would have been happier like that, her father would have probably taught her how to ride a horse properly, she wouldn’t have to wear heavy dresses on the ceremonies and she would tag along with her brother, perhaps he’d listen to her.
Other days, she was happy with who she was, there was peacefulness in knowing she wouldn’t partake in conflicts, likewise, she couldn’t picture how she’d look if she were a male, it was beyond her thoughts, maybe she’d be taller but what was the appeal of that, she already struggled with it when the tailors took her measurements. Why would she wish for her life to be different?
“You would be the one ruling.”
Katya shook her head, those couldn’t be her thoughts, it was almost like a whisper, the voice was familiar too, not her own, it couldn’t be, it was probably her tiredness.
She turned around slowly, holding the clock in her hands, her lips quivering slightly. Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her, on the chair where she was a few seconds ago, a figure sat, lifting the letter and examining it.
Yekaterina faltered, her voice shaking. “Father?”
The man turned to her, leaving the letter on the desk. “Ah yes, Katya, Vanya and Natasha, this youth has not yet chosen a path, I wonder who will take the lead.”
“I don’t understand, what lead?” she asked, stepping back.
“How naive. You look like someone I knew, but younger.” The figure loomed around her, a cold hand caressing her cheek, a wide smile spread on his face. “Yekaterina, you want to rule but there’s a nuance on your way, there has always been someone eclipsing you.”
“That’s not true!” Yekaterina gasped, moving the hand away from her, letting the clock fall from her hands and stumbling to the door. She gripped the door frame tightly as if that could prevent her from listening to that voice whispering in her ear.
“Selfless, naive Yekaterina sent the crown to greedy, obedient Natalya, I haven’t spoken to any of you as I should. Svetlana was a good listener, diligent, if only she were braver, but neither are you Katya, I’m afraid you'll end up being another pawn.”
The window closed with a thud, Katya opened her eyes slowly, a sigh escaping her as she found herself alone, she retrieved the clock from the floor, a crack had formed on the glass, her hands were shaking. Was she going mad?
---
Natalya tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, layer by layer of heavy covers embraced her, the stone walls didn’t keep the warmth, she huffed, shifting another page from the old book as she squinted her eyes, the penmanship was messier now, she had to observe the words carefully to understand what they said.
She tossed the book aside, rubbing her eyes, a headache was starting to nag her. What if this wasn’t the information Ivan wanted? She was wasting her time, reading this nonsensical book, requesting that scholar Feliks recommended and freezing on this awful fortress.
Natalya stood up, making her way to her dresser, her feet cold, the wood shrieking as she opened the delicate box, the silver glint of the crown greeting her, she placed it on her head, heavy, cold, soothing.
The light from her candle ran out, darkness surrounding her, she reached for the night stand dropping the crown with a thud. Sighing, she lit the candle, only for it to die out again. She stumbled on the dark, reaching the wall, following it until she felt the soft fabric, she opened the curtains, the dim moonlight illuminating softly the inside of her room.
She gasped at the sight of someone observing her, the door was opened, a figure stood there, holding a bundle of white fur, Natalya let out a breath. “Mother, what are you doing here?”
“I thought you were cold.” she said, entering her room slowly and lifting the crown from the floor.
“Thank you” Natalya nodded, approaching, her mother smiled as she enveloped her with the coat.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” she said, her eyes focusing on the book on the bed as a small smile settled on her face. “My father used to read me that tale.”
“What tale?” Natalya asked, retrieving the book swiftly in her drawer. “You should be resting.”
“General winter was my friend until our mother died,” she said, sitting on Natalya’s bed, tracing the crown with her fingers. “I never understood...he didn't choose me, he just stopped talking to me, but I know my brother could see it too.”
“There is no general winter in that book,” Natalya said, taking a seat beside her. “It’s father frost, remember? the children’s tale.”
“It’s not a tale, how else do you think my brother could freeze those armies, didn’t you see? Our father used to drop us into the forest, said we had to pass a test, and we always managed to find the way back.” She held the crown closer to her chest, chuckling. “I mentioned the dare to my mother and she followed us once, my father was so mad that day.”
“I don’t understand.” Natalya said, pursuing her lips.
Her mother frowned, placing the crown on Natalya’s head. “You should have seen him, all he could say was Svetlana! Svetlana! What have you done? how could you!” She laughed, clenching her hands on the skirt of her dress. “That’s what the clock is for, I was not the one to blame, my brother was mean to the general, it wasn’t my fault.”
Natalya knitted her eyebrows, taking her hand lightly. "Mother, what are you talking about?"
"The forest, the hare, isn't that what you are reading?" Her grip on Natalya’s hand was tight, she shook her head. " My brother said Ivan was cursed too, the poor child, but if you stay close to him, you will be..." She gasped, running her hand through the white fur enveloping Natalya. "You'll have to… to…”
Snatching the crown from her, Natalya flinched, her mother pulled her into the hallway walking hastily. “Natasha, my dear, we have to leave, this place is cursed, we can't stay, I don't want you to be the hare."
"Hare?" she asked, trying to keep up with her pace, she whined. “Mother, you are hurting my wrist.”
"My brother killed a hare, I cried for days, he chose to kill it because he knew I loved her. He knew our father loved her. He loved her." Svetlana’s voice grew frantic, she stopped, throwing the crown away and embracing Natalya tightly. "We have to leave, you said that Ivan liked to hunt. Natalya, the hare!"
Natalya struggled on her hold until hurried steps echoed on the hallway, she merely observed as her father took her mother away, she was shaking her head, tears running down her face as she repeated. “Natalya, the hare!”
The words echoed in her mind for the rest of the night, it was nonsense, she couldn't help but feel uneasy. Natalya pried herself on being brave, braver than most girls but there was always a shadow casted upon her family, looming over them in the form of whispers, madness ran in her family but it always seemed far, in the form of that faceless grandfather nobody talked about, yet everyone knew somehow. In the form of her dying uncle, though Yekaterina made sure of hiding it from others.
Tonight, Natalya had encountered said shadow, grasping on her shoulders and nailing nonsensical words on her mind, the forest, the clock, the hare. She stood up, making her way on the empty hallway, her feet cold, the wood shrieking as she kneeled to retrieve the silver crown, placing it on her head again, heavy, cold, soothing.
“Poor Svetlana, she never got to wear the crown.”
Such cruel words, Natalya thought. That wasn’t her, it couldn’t be. She didn’t sound like that, she wouldn’t talk like that about her own mother. A sob escaped her and she snatched the crown from her head, glaring at the object, hidden, in the silver glint there was a dark spot, burnt, the opaque shadow on it seemed to mock her.
“Poor Svetlana, she never got to wear the crown.”
---
The neighing from the horses was visible as the exalations of the animal disturbed the otherwise cold air. Ivan smiled as soft laughter emanated from the boys, though it was a bit unfair of him to call them that, they were probably twelve, thirteen, perhaps fourteen, he was sure Kiku was the youngest.
Yekaterina was late, strange, the neat line of children had broken their formation long ago, some were chatting, others sat on the grass and pointed at the palace, he spotted Feliciano caressing one of the horses’ crests while Kiku observed, boredom showing on his face.
It was odd, Kiku seemed so distant from the place, he was accustomed to the palace hallways and the ornamental gardens. Instead of awe as in the other children’s faces, Kiku displayed apathy, Ivan dared to say a bit of hatred towards the whole situation.
He approached Kiku and Feliciano, the latter stiffening his posture and smiling politely, Kiku greeted him, lowering his head.
“Is there something wrong?”
Feliciano shook his head quickly, giving a sheepish smile. “Everything’s fine, your majesty, we were admiring the horses.”
Kiku nodded, shifting his feet and patting the horse lightly.
“He’s scared of going alone.” Feliciano blurted, gaining a glare from Kiku.
“You are not going alone, Feliciano will go with you,” Ivan chuckled but Kiku didn’t meet his gaze. “Part of the appeal of this exchange is for you to make new friends. If you see Ludwig around, talk to him about the star chart, or rather ask him about it, he knows a lot.”
“Feliciano has an uncle in the middle kingdom, Elizabetha’s father is going to meet her there and a lot of the others will travel with their parents.” Kiku frowned, lowering his voice. “I don’t even know how I will contact my sister while I’m there.”
“You’ll have to write her some letters.” Ivan hummed.
Kiku raised his head, a slight trace of a glare appearing on his face before vanishing, he sighed. “Of course, why didn’t I think of that.” he said, it was almost a grumble, the boy turned away.
“I’m sorry,” Feliciano laughed nervously, taking a step back. “He’s like that sometimes, it was the same when the teacher told him that he was a slow reader but just like with that, I’m sure Kiku will go past that, he just needs a bit of time.”
Ivan nodded, Feliciano trailed after Kiku with hurried steps. A slow reader? that had to be a lie, with the quantity of books he had seen in their small house. Ivan wanted to slap himself, Kiku had read to him in that foreign language, that’s why he used the dictionaries and that’s why Chun Yan struggled with letters. No wonder why Kiku was frustrated with his suggestion.
When Katya arrived she was pale, stumbling over her words during the speech and looking around as if looking for someone, Ivan took over her speech in an attempt to ease her nerves, though she seemed to grow restless. As the scholars were dispatched, and the horses started their run, Katya enveloped him in a tight hug. “I am a horrible sister, a bewitched woman.” she said, burying her head on his shoulder.
“Don’t say that, Katya. What has gotten into you?”
She shook her head, reaching for her pocket. “I broke it, I saw…. I... I was dumb and I broke it.” she said, handing him the clock. “I sent Natalya the crown, I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s fine, I don’t like that clock anyways. Katya, our father said it was bad luck to have that crown around,” Ivan said, pushing her away a bit, giving her a small smile. “but he said a lot of things, I’m sure Natalya’s happy.”
Yekaterina nodded. “I’m sure she liked it. She made it clear in her letter. Why don’t you write to her? She wrote a couple of.... interesting things” She took a deep breath. “I will hand you her letters.”
Ivan nodded absentmindedly, a prickle of anger was nagging at him to reprimand Katya for going through his correspondence, for acting without asking him but her nervous demeanour kept him from doing so.
When the sky grew darker, Ivan approached the gardens again, fumbling with the clock, the crack it had before had turned into several, he frowned, that glass was about to break.He walked around for a bit, rubbing his hands together, his fingers were growing numb, perhaps he should have brought gloves, the sunny weather of the morning had deceived him.
He glanced around, there was smoke coming out of one of the chimneys, probably from the kitchen, a bit of whatever they were cooking would surely provide him some warmth.
Approaching the kitchen, heat emanating from the place, he ducked his head, on one side of the room there was a large cauldron, boiling, probably water, as the meal had been served about an hour ago, he could see Sadik, the cook, slicing the meat and seasoning it.
On the other side of the kitchen, the chimney had a lower flame, Chun Yan was retrieving the heated coal with a ladle. Ivan stayed silent, observing her as she finished her task, her gaze focused on the oven, reaching out her hand as if testing the heat, she smiled, rubbing her hands, stained with the black powder of the coal.
Her smile faltered as she turned around, she took swift steps towards him, her voice hushed. “What are you doing here?”
“I grew bored of waiting and I want to eat something.” Ivan hummed. “I thought you’d be there to bid goodbye to your brother.”
“No, if I bid him goodbye, he won’t come back.” She frowned, fidgeting with the hem of her apron. “You shouldn’t ask for more food, the meal was served not long ago.”
“He will come back, he was doubting as he left, thinking on how to contact you once he arrived.” Ivan placed a hand on her shoulder. “Please, I am starving.”
“No” She shook her head, moving his hand away, she paused, sighing, returning to the kitchen, retrieving some water and washing her hands. “Sadik, can I leave? I finished my tasks.”
Sadik spared Ivan a glance, giving her a slight nod before chuckling. “Of course, every day I grow more convinced that you are your father’s daughter, Chun Yan. He managed to boss around a few royals too.”
“I’m going to need a couple of those coals.” She hummed, taking off the apron.
“You just washed your hands, I don’t think you should touch that again.” Ivan said, standing in the entrance awkwardly, shifting on his feet as Chun Yan and Sadik stared at him, a small smile forming on her face.
“Very well, Ivan, could you retrieve them for me?”
He nodded, approaching them hesitantly, why were they staring at him? He reached out his hand but she pulled it away, chuckling. “I thought you would refuse.” she said, scooping a handful of coals swiftly with a small bucket. “I can’t believe you almost burned your hand.”
Outside, the air was colder, the way to the small forest was not as long as it seemed before, Ivan could easily walk around without tripping, he glanced at the sky, there were few stars on it but the moon was full, providing a soft light.
They neared the pond, the water was still, even though the fishes swirling. Chun Yan stopped, touching lightly the cinders, she took one, presenting it to him. “They’re still warm, so lighting one shouldn’t be so hard.”
“Lighting?”
She nodded, “Yes, the idea is to focus on the warmth, fire is very tricky because sometimes it has a life on it’s own, but I find it easier when you use something that’s supposed to catch fire.”
“I don’t know, why don’t we just talk? I don’t feel like doing much tonight.”
“It’s coal, the worst that can happen is that it turns into ashes.” She said, dropping the bucket. “Give it a try, I’ll help you.”
Ivan sighed, sitting beside her, poking the coal, his finger caught the black powder as he touched it. She seemed to notice his hesitation, taking a hold of his wrist and placing on his hand a piece of coal. “Don’t be so picky.”
She mirrored him, closing her hand on a fist. “I normally think about the flames of an oven, a bit lame, but it’s the kind of fire that I see everyday.” she chuckled, opening her hand, the coal was lit by a small flame. “It’s predictable, try it.”
He nodded, closing his hand, the lingering warmth from the fire was barely there. Warm, a candle was warm, the sunlight was warm, the fire on the chimney was warm. He opened his hand, the flame mirrored the one on her hand.
“I told you it was easy.” She beamed, closing her hand, the fire dissipated as well as the coal, leaving her hand stained with black.
Ivan mimicked her but the fire did not die out. He gave her a concerned gaze.
“That happens… sometimes.” She laughed, enclosing her hands around his. “Try again.”
He did so, several times, growing more confident until she asked him to start a small campfire with the cinders left. He hesitantly obliged, reaching out both of his hands above the small pile of coal. A small fire, like the one from the chimney, like, like...
"like the knight."
Before he could stop himself, Ivan's thoughts led his mind to the horrid cries of the knight and the blinding flames that engulfed him.
A fire started, the coals turning bright red, the flame was white, dancing rapidly. Chun Yan gasped, grasping his shoulders and shoving him back.
Ivan’s hands trembled, his heart hammering on his chest. “I’m sorry, are you hurt?”
“I’m fine,” she said, retrieving her hands. “I think I've just ruined your coat.”
Ivan paused, shaking his head, there were black fingertips imprinted on the fabric. A chuckle escaped him. “I can’t believe you’re worried about the coat.”
“I’ve only seen blue flames,” She said, observing the fire and reaching out her hand, pausing. “What did you think about to make the flame white?”
“Why don’t you tell her?”
Ivan flinched, that voice again, murmuring in his ear, he reached for his pocket, frowning. “I don’t know.”
A weight settled on his shoulders, the silvery voice resounded. “Tell her how you killed the knight.”
He retrieved the clock with a trembling hand, the silver reflecting the light from the fire. Ivan reached out his hand, placing the clock against hers and holding their hands together lightly. "I'm sorry, could you fix it again?”
"What 's wrong?" She asked, a concerned expression crossing her face, she observed the clock, opening it and running her fingers through the cracked glass.
“Tell her how you killed the knight.” The silvery voice repeated with a thunderous chuckle, Ivan’s heart sped up as the laughter increased. "Perhaps instead of telling her, you should show her."
Ivan tightened his hold on her hand. He could hear the glass break and she gasped, swiftly freeing their hands, the clock fell into the floor, blood staining the silver engravings. The smell of smoke, the feeling of blood in his hands and the sight of the horrid ghost overwhelmed him.
Ivan shook his head, lowering his gaze, stumbling over his words as he told her about the forest, the knight, the ghost, the wolf. He found himself shaking, his voice faltering until a sob escaped him.
He tried to take a deep breath, to stop his sobbing, but the tears kept on falling, covering his face with his hands, he tried to soothe his outburst. The thunderous laugh echoed in his mind.
She pulled away his hands with a firm grip, Ivan was enveloped in warmth, he was ashamed, ashamed that instead of pushing her away, he was clinging to her, wanting to be hugged. She ran a hand through his hair, Ivan managed to stop his sobbing, glad that there was silence.
Though it didn't last long as the horrid laugh resumed, Ivan felt shivers, nailing coldness into his bones, he buried his head on her shoulder, trying to keep whatever little warmth that lingered from her embrace.
Chun Yan sighed, loosening her hold until her body grew limp, her weight resting on him. Ivan drew out a shaky breath, laying her down gently, she held a serene expression, as if she were sleeping peacefully.
“There it is, well done Vanya." The ghostly figure grew visible, the cold hand grasped her wrist, humming. "Her magic is familiar, way too familiar."
Ivan observed her hand, stained with blood, his own hand smeared with the scarlet liquid but he felt no pain. Prying the cold bluish hand from her, he asked. "What have you done to her?"
"Me? Nothing, I was not the one holding her." A dry chuckle came after those words, the pale hand hovered above the campfire, the flame turned blue, growing smaller until it died out.
In the darkness, Ivan could see the ghostly figure tossing him the clock. Ivan made no move to catch it, a devious smile formed on the spirit’s face. "Now, it’s my turn to tell you a secret." The silvery voice said, "The wolf was not a wolf, it was a knight and the knight was not a knight, it was a magician. Can you guess what else the magician was, Ivan?”
The ghost hovered behind him, reaching out a pale hand and caressing Chun Yan’s head. “The magician was a father.”
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artificialqueens · 3 years ago
Text
Until We Go Down, 1/? (Katlaska) - Calypso
a/n: turns out you can kill katlaska.
loosely based on throne of glass, i have ideas floating around to make this into a multi-chapter fic, send in your thoughts etc etc
tw: violence, blood
Katya stared into the cracked mirror above her sink, cursing once again that her latest target had been able to get enough of a jump on her to mar her skin. She lifted a lock of her platinum hair, stained now with blood, mud, and the gods knew what else in order to get a better look at the cut that ran from her temple down to her cheek, drops of blood oozing down to her chin.
It could have certainly been worse, but she also knew better.
Knew better than to let herself get distracted like that. All it had taken was a glimpse of blonde hair and porcelain skin out of the corner of her eye, and she’d let her guard slip for just a second. But a second in this game could mean the difference between life and death.
Her life and her death. And she didn’t plan to meet her maker quite yet. Though, at the age of just twenty, she’d already made quite the name for herself, she still had so much to discover. Top of her list, work out who the mysterious blonde was.
Katya had caught just a split second look at her, but she looked tantalisingly familiar. But try as she might, the girl just couldn’t place her. Katya sighed. She had more important things to be doing than driving herself silly trying to work out the identity of the tall blonde. Most likely she was the daughter of one of the nobles Katya’s master was acquainted with, and she’d run into her at one of the insufferable balls her master loved to drag her to.
Speaking of-
“Yekaterina?” a cool voice called from outside her door, and Katya shivered. Drawing her black silk robe around her, Katya strode over to the door and opened it, raising an eyebrow at the tall, slender man stood in the doorway.
“I thought I’d made myself very clear,” he said, eyeing the cut on Katya’s face. “Five minutes to wash up and then report to my office.”
Katya resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
“What’s five minutes between friends?” she asked, stepping back into her room and moving away from the man who dubbed himself Lord of the Assassins. Pft. He was good - he had been good. But Katya was better, and she was younger. The Lord was only getting older, and she knew it frustrated him to no end.
One day, sooner than he would like, he would be more hindrance than help to the guild.
Her face split into a cruel smile as she grabbed the silver backed hairbrush from the nearby chest of drawers, and she dragged the bristles through her hair. She never normally got herself into this much of a mess, but tonight - tonight had been different. Internally cursing herself once more, Katya dragged her attention back to the man who was still standing in the doorway.
“Like it or not, you still answer to me. Your debts are not yet paid,” was all he said, before, with a swish of his black velvet cloak, he was gone.
Katya placed her hairbrush down slowly, his words sinking in. He was right. She did still owe him money, more money than she’d like to think about. It wasn’t her fault she was in so much debt. The choice to train at the guild, at her own expense, hadn’t really been a choice. It was either learn to kill, or learn to fall into bed and shut up.
She didn’t regret her choice, didn’t regret the reputation it had brought her. But sometimes she longed for ordinary things. Sometimes she longed to wander the streets without seeing. She didn’t always want to know the best place to hide, the easiest way across the rooftops to a noble’s house, didn’t want to eye up every stranger as though they were an enemy. Sometimes she wanted to attend the balls on the arm of a beautiful woman, there to enjoy herself and nothing else.
But that was a different life. That life belonged to someone else.
She was Yekaterina Zamolodchikova, and she was the greatest assassin the kingdom had ever seen.
**********************************
“Just another minute,” Katya groaned, rolling over in bed and tugging the covers over her face.
She’d stayed up later than she’d meant to the night before, detangling her hair and caring for the cut on her face so it didn’t scar. If she was honest, her master’s words had shook her up more than she’d care to admit to, the mountain of debt looming over her. Though she was free to come and go as she pleased, and had the pick of whichever jobs she wanted, she’d never really be free until the last cent had been paid off.
With a long sigh, Katya shoved the blankets away from her and swung her feet down onto the wooden floor, wincing at the sudden cold. The woman in front of her tsked.
“Have we forgotten how to shower?” she asked, eyeing the dirt still streaked across Katya’s hair and face.
“I sponged,” Katya replied, staring up into the face of the woman who was as close to a mother as Katya got these days. Her own mother was a distant memory, a faint hint of lilac perfume, and the merest hint of a song. The woman in front of her was solidly real, grey streaking her brown hair as she stared down at her ward.
“Sponged?” she asked, one eyebrow raised.
Katya merely nodded, not ready to explain any further as she rose from her bed and padded across to the iron tub in the corner. It was already filled to the brim with steaming hot water, and Katya stripped her night-clothes off before stepping into the tub, sighing as the hot water soothed her aching muscles.
Alyssa bustled over, soap in one hand and piece of cloth in the other.
“Hold still,” she instructed, before lathering the soap into Katya’s long hair and scrubbing. It wasn’t often she helped Katya bathe these days, but sometimes she knew when the assassin needed a little extra care, like she had when she was just six years old and had stood shivering in the doorway to the guild.
Katya leaned back into the attention. Alyssa had seen her in every imaginable state, and was the only person Katya felt secure enough around to let her guard down. They stayed in a companionable silence for several minutes, before Alyssa gave her hair one final rinse and nodded.
“There, much better,” she said softly, stepping back from the iron bath and taking a towel down from the shelf to pass to Katya, who stood, water draining from her body, and wrapped the length of material around herself.
Katya stepped out of the tub and headed to her dressing area, disappearing around a wooden screen.
“The master wants to see you in his office in ten minutes,” Alyssa called after her as she conducted a quick tidy of the room, placing Katya’s many unusual knick-knacks back into their place.
Katya sighed, pulling on a pair of trousers made from a tight, flexible fabric, before slipping into her white undershirt and emerald green tunic, the gold detailing that would give her away as a member of the guild only to one in the know decorating the edges.
“Must I?” she whined, already knowing her attempt was futile. Though the last job had taken her the better part of a week, allowing her to get hardly a wink of rest as she’d tracked her target to rinse him for all the information he could give her before dispatching him, the Lord of the Assassins wasn’t one to let a little tiredness get in his way.
Instead of complaining further, she merely pulled on her supple leather boots and tightened the laces, before slipping her favourite black cloak around her shoulders. She eyed up the selection of weaponry that adorned one wall of her room - the only giveaway that this boudoir didn’t belong to an ordinary girl - and carefully selected a pair of daggers that she concealed beneath the folds of her cloak in sheaths attached to her thighs.
You could never be too careful, even inside the guild, and although Katya was more than capable of dispatching a gang of men with nothing but her bare hands, the familiar feeling of her favourite jewel encrusted daggers was a comfort to her.
“I think you’ll like this job,” was all Alyssa said as she watched her ward get ready, a slight hint of sadness in her eye as she watched Katya get ready.
Without saying anything more, Katya gave Alyssa a swift pat on the shoulder and swept out of the room, her cloak billowing behind her in a way Katya was particularly fond of. She’d had this cloak specially commissioned for her, and had specified the exact amount of material she wanted in order to create the most dramatic effect she could.
The expense had paid off, and the swathes of material draped around her body only added to her general aura of intimidation.
Not two minutes later Katya had reached the masters office. With a curt nod to the two guards at the entrance, Katya pushed open the heavy wooden door and strode inside, flinging herself onto the chair opposite the Lord and eyeing him cautiously.
“Manners would cost you nothing,” he said, eyes raking over Katya’s attire, making her feel like an especially choice cut of meat. “At least you’ve dressed appropriately.” Katya stayed silent. Her master sighed.
“I have a job to offer you,” he said, voice deadly quiet. “It’s a big one. Possibly your biggest yet.”
Katya couldn’t help herself. Her interest piqued, she raised one eyebrow. “Go on.”
“It seems like someone has grown tired of the King strutting around like the abject poverty of his people does not bother him,” the master said, Katya growing more confused by the minute. “You are to dispatch his daughter and, in the ensuing chaos, our client has allegedly gathered an army to storm the castle with. Viva la revolution.”
The master laughed, a cold laugh that would have sent a chill down Katya’s spine had she not been stuck on his first words. Kill the princess? But Alaska was barely twenty-two, barely a threat to anyone. Sure, her father had done nothing but raise the taxes, plunge his people into the kind of poverty that was inescapable, and sent most of the crops grown around the city to other kingdoms to trade, but surely there had to be a better way of dealing with the kingdom’s issues than killing a young girl?
But a job was a job.
“The pay?” she asked, her own gaze cold and calculating.
“Handsome,” he replied, his eyes filled with a challenge Katya did not yet understand. “Enough for your remaining debts, and then some.”
Katya’s breath caught in her throat. Enough to - she’d be free. She’d finally be free. It didn’t matter what state the crown princess’ death left the city in, by the time anyone even found out she’d be halfway to her home kingdom, a place she hadn’t seen in nearly fourteen years.
“I’ll do it,” Katya said, pushing down the guilt she felt.
She’d often wondered what price she’d put on her own freedom, if it came down to that. She hadn’t expected the death of a girl two years her senior to be that price, but it would be worth it. To never see the Lord of the Assassins again, to never have to answer to his word - it would be worth it. It would never not be worth it.
Katya could slip away into the night and never kill another if she didn’t want to. Of course, if she did want to that was another question. She was the best assassin in the guild, after all.
“I knew I could count on you,” her master said, before diving into the particulars of the deal.
Katya was to trail the princess for a week, learning how heavily guarded she was, tracking her movements around the castle and the city, and working out the best way to infiltrate the court, before ending the princess’ life on the fifth day with as little fanfare as possible. She was to leave a note with the body, and wait for someone to find her. By the time anyone did, Katya would have her fee, have paid her debts, and be long gone.
What happened after her job was done was none of her business. She had no doubt that the king’s army was good enough to deal with whatever ragtag band of soldiers the client had pulled together, but that was up to them. All Katya had to do was kill Alaska, and her job was done. It was easy enough, though she knew the princess would be guarded night and day.
But it was nothing she hadn’t done before.
After a few minutes more discussing the job, Katya made her excuses and left, head filled with all the things she could do when she was free.
But that was enough of that. Before her freedom, there was a job at hand. Glancing out of the window, Katya decided to make the most of the gloomy, overcast day to begin trailing the princess. No time like the present to discover what her daily movements were.
Stopping by her room only to grab more weaponry that she concealed in a variety of ways around her body, Katya strapped her favourite sword to her back, covering it with her cloak, before slipping out of the guild.
*****************************************
Three days. For three miserable days Katya had been trailing the crown princess, learning all she could about her daily movements.
By the gods she was boring. Barely leaving the safety of the castle, Alaska spent all of her time flirting and giggling. Katya had nearly fallen asleep out of the lack of anything better to do, nearly giving her position away in the shadows countless times.
Sloppy.
She couldn’t afford to be sloppy, not when she was this close to achieving her freedom. But her heart wasn’t in this job. She’d never had to kill a girl so close to her own age before, not that that was the issue. Alaska was just so - well, so normal. Nothing like her tyrant of a father.
At least she’d discovered the identity of the mysterious blonde who had nearly cost her her last job. Katya touched a finger to the healing cut on her face, shaking her head. She wondered why Alaska had been out in that particular part of town at that hour.
Nothing else she’d done in the last three days had been nearly as interesting as that.
Sighing, Katya stretched out her long, muscular legs and eased herself out of the dark doorway she’d discovered gave her a perfect view of the window in front of which Alaska was so fond of sitting. Another day where she’d learnt absolutely nothing.
At least the princess would be easy to kill, though she had no additional information for the client. The king was so heavily guarded that Katya hadn’t bothered even trying to get close. At least she knew how she was going to get close enough to the princess to fulfill the terms of her contract. There was to be a Midsummer Ball held at the end of the week.
It would be easy enough to pose as a member of the aristocracy. She’d done it before, though never for an event quite so big. And if she was entirely honest with herself, she was looking forward to the opportunity to dress up. Not long ago she’d had a new dress commissioned and hadn’t yet had an opportunity to wear it.
Grinning despite herself, Katya set off for the guild, long legs striding confidently down the dank streets of the city. She felt most alive out here. These were her streets, streets where she’d loved and lost and fought to stay alive, and she knew the city better than most.
“Katya,” her master greeted coolly as Katya stepped across the threshold of the opulent town house, one hand resting on his pearl-topped cane and a questioning look in his eye.
Katya shook her head and spread her hands. “Same as yesterday,” she said, offering him no further explanation. He frowned.
“You have two days left before the ball,” he said shortly, Katya nodding.
“I know,” she replied. “I can finish the job, but I have nothing else for you.”
“You are aware of what is at stake here?” was all he said in reply, before turning to leave. “You’re better than this.”
Katya stuck her tongue out at his retreating back, before sighing and turning on her heel. He was right. She was better than this. She had a reputation to uphold.
***************************************************
The day of the ball dawned sooner than Katya would have liked. She’d managed to gather a little more information, but not nearly as much as she would’ve liked.
She’d learned enough to know that there was a rebel movement growing right under the King’s nose, that someone in the palace was rallying the people to support each other where they could and gather strength to march against the king.
Yet, despite her best efforts, she’d no idea who that person was. It would have been useful to be able to identify them for her client. An insider would have helped them in the next stage of their plan. But it wasn’t to be, and as Katya dreamt of far off lands where no-one knew her name, she knew she didn’t care much.
Alyssa bustled around her room, picking out the jewellery Katya would be wearing that evening, the blonde girl occasionally interjecting with her opinion. She really needed to start getting ready. It wouldn’t be long now before she had to leave.
Filled with a sudden excitement, Katya swept up her hair with an exquisite golden comb the master had gifted her for her last birthday, and let her blonde curls tumble down one shoulder. Her dress was stunning - it fit her like a glove, cutting low at the back and plunging even further at the front. It was truly a miracle that it even stayed on, the crystals that adorned the neckline glinting in the candlelight. Katya knew she looked incredible. No-one would ever suspect that she was the assassin they all spent so much time talking about.
Alyssa gave a satisfied nod, fixing the clasp of her necklace and stepping back.
“Beautiful,” was all she said, eyes glinting with a strange sadness. Katya smiled.
“Thank you,” she said, rising from her perch to get a better look. “I’ll see you when I return,” Katya continued, turning to look Alyssa in the eye. “It will be okay.”
Alyssa said nothing further, but slipped out of the room, leaving Katya standing alone.
But there was no time to dwell on her servants’ behaviour. She had a ball to get to.
The master had let her borrow his favourite carriage for the journey, and Katya gazed out of the window as the coachman swept through the gates of the castle and up the winding driveway lined with trees, each one twinkling with tiny lights. It was magical. Katya almost forgot what she was there to do, but the feel of her beloved dagger against her thigh every time she shifted her weight kept the job at the forefront of her mind.
The ball was more guarded than she thought it would be. They’d clearly swelled the ranks of the Kings Guard with lowly soldiers from his army, just for the evening. They’d be no match for Katya and her extensive training, but it was a slight annoyance.
But then, Alaska was only one girl.
One stunning girl.
As Katya stepped from the carriage she caught a glimpse of the crown princess standing at the top of the stairs, greeting her guests, and had to take a moment to compose herself. Her dress was golden, and shimmered in the thousand tiny lights that wrapped around the columns at the entrance to the palace. Her arms were bare, with what looked like hundreds of thin golden bracelets clanking up and down them, miniature diamonds twinkling. Her hair was piled on top of her head, and her eyes were lined with smoky black kohl.
Katya had never seen anyone so beautiful before.
Her resolve wavered. The girl had done nothing. She was innocent, a beautiful innocent, and in a few short hours her short life would be snuffed out. And it would be Katya’s fault.
For the first time since her first kill, Katya felt a dawning horror that she couldn’t complete the job. How could she bring herself to kill one who had done no wrong? Sure, Katya had more than definitely killed innocent people before. Hell, she knew how to torture a man in such a specific way that it would be hours before he died, knew where to inflict the most pain without causing much damage.
But this was different.
Katya didn’t want to murder her - she wanted to kiss her.
But her freedom was so close. And if she didn’t complete this job, it would be her own life on the line. Her master had made it very clear what the penalty for insubordination was, and until her debts were paid she had to answer to him.
Steeling her nerves, Katya swept up the stairs, batting her eyelashes coyly at the princess before dropping into a deep curtsey.
Alaska’s eyes flashed with sudden interest, the bored look leaving her face.
“I don’t believe we’ve met before,” she breathed, taking Katya’s outstretched hand. Katya smiled.
“I am Catalina,” she said, using her usual alias. Alaska grinned.
“Alaska,” she said in reply, Katya laughing softly.
“I know.”
A delicate rosy flush bloomed on Alaska’s cheeks. “I will…see you in there?” she ventured, Katya nodding in response.
Her heart sank. Alaska would see her there. It would be the last thing she ever did.
“I’ll save you a dance,” Katya said, before stepping forward into the palace. She meant what she said. One dance with a beautiful girl wasn’t going to ruin her job, and it would be such a shame to waste such a nice evening.
Katya grabbed a glass of pink sparkling wine from the tray of a passing servant, and took a deep gulp. She tended to steer clear of drinking while on the job, but she’d need all the help she could get tonight. Killing was as easy to her as breathing, but she had a feeling this would be her hardest kill yet.
Lost in her thoughts, Katya didn’t see Alaska enter the ballroom until a cloud of gold and white entered her line of vision.
“I believe you promised me a dance?” came the question, Alaska’s voice throaty, beautiful in a way Katya couldn’t explain.
She gulped, and held out an arm.
“As you wish.”
**********************************************************
Katya didn’t know how long it had been since they’d started dancing. Lost in the music she knew so well, song after song had played and Katya had swept her partner through the various dances, oblivious to the looks they were getting.
It was unusual for Princess Alaska to be monopolised this much, but neither girl cared. Katya was caught up in the moment, not wanting to move to the next step of the evening. Alaska had never been in the arms of such a beautiful woman before, and she wasn’t about to leave to dance with some stuffy dignitary.
Eventually the girls broke apart, faces flushed and sweat decorating their brows.
“Thirsty?” Katya asked, snagging yet another flute of wine and passing it to Alaska, who took the cool liquid gratefully.
“I thought you’d never ask,” she laughed, knocking back the sparkling wine like a seasoned pro. Katya laughed.
“It is getting a little hot in here,” she admitted, fanning herself as best she could with her hand. Alaska glanced around, noting the guards stood at every entrance.
“Want to get out of here?” Alaska asked, slipping her fingers through Katya’s.
Katya felt her heart jolt. “S-sure,” she replied, not entirely sure what to expect.
Her disbelief only grew as Alaska led her from the ballroom and up the wide sweeping stairs. She wanted to shout at the princess to stop being so stupid, as the royal nodded at each guard they passed.
Eventually they stopped outside a nondescript door and Alaska pushed it open, revealing a messy bedchamber.
“This - this is your room?” Katya asked, eyes raking across the clothes on the floor and jewels that decorated the vanity. A whole week spent trailing the girl, and she’d just been invited into her room? Did Alaska have no sense of self-preservation? And more to the point - where was the personal bodyguard she’d been followed by day after day?
“It is,” she confirmed. Katya gaped at her, and Alaska mistook her terror for concern. “Don’t worry, the guards won’t come in here. I - this is my private sanctuary. But they are at the door!” she laughed, leading Katya further into the room.
Katya wanted to laugh, but she was afraid if she did she’d never stop. Little did Alaska know that the actual danger was inside the room, ready to strike.
Katya had to get it over and done with.
Before Alaska could take a step further, Katya had pulled the dagger from where it was stashed in a thigh holder, and had the princess pinned against her, blade to her perfect porcelain throat.
“I wouldn’t even think about screaming,” Katya hissed in her ear, pressing the blade hard enough against Alaska’s throat that a bead of blood welled up around the shining silver.
Alaska’s eyes were wide, fright contorting her perfect features.
“What’s going on?” she asked, her voice trembling as she held as still as possible. Katya had to force herself to continue, wanting nothing more than to let the princess go and flee as fast as she could. But fleeing wasn’t freedom.
“You are going to die. You have to die.”
Alaska didn’t say anything, but Katya caught her weight as the princess sagged. Katya imagined that she’d never been in a situation like this before, never had to fear for her life or wonder if she was going to make it through the next minute. A hot flush of hatred suddenly flared in her chest, surprising her.
Katya knew what it was like in her position, knew what it was like to think you were going to die.
But unfortunately for the crown princess, she was going to die. Katya just didn’t know why she hadn’t yet made the killing blow.
Katya unsheathed a second dagger and held it against Alaska’s back, the blade perfectly angled to slip into her body and straight into her heart. Alaska gasped, and Katya tightened her grip once more.
“I’m sorry,” Katya whispered, still unsure as to what she was waiting for. “But I have to do this.”
“Your name isn’t Catalina, is it?” Alaska asked, a sudden realisation dawning.
“No,” Katya said, figuring she owed the princess this much. “My name is Yekaterina Zamolodchikova, and I have been sent to kill you.”
Tears filled Alaska’s eyes and caught on the edges of her lashes. “I thought you’d be older,” was all she said, the strength in her voice surprising Katya.
“Everyone does,” Katya said. “At least, they did. Anyone who knows who I am is dead now.”
“So why am I still alive?”
It was a good question. Katya still had no idea. Gods help her, she had absolutely no idea.
“I have to do this,” she repeated. “I am still indentured to my master. Your death is my freedom.”
Katya had no idea why she was offering an explanation to Alaska. She’d never explained herself to a victim before. They were generally dead long before that stage.
“If it’s money you’re after I can get you money,” Alaska pleaded, a desperate note catching in her voice. “Please - please. Don’t kill me. You have no idea what you’d be doing if you did. The people-”
“The people are dying because of your father,” Katya responded, catching the edge of hatred this thought gave her and holding onto it as tight as she could. Hatred would help.
Alaska shook her head. “I’m trying,” she whispered. “I am trying so hard.”
The growing rebel alliance. It was headed by this - by this bimbo of a girl? Katya gasped, her hand slipping. It was enough for Alaska to throw her off and run for the other side of the room, where she paused, looking back at the assassin.
“Don’t do this,” she pleaded, slowly taking another step backwards. Katya stepped forwards, daggers still clutched in her hands. “If you do this - you are doing unimaginable damage to this kingdom.”
Katya shook her head.
“You can’t - but - I don’t understand,” she whispered, caught completely off guard.
“My father - I have never agreed with him. But I can’t go against him, not publicly. Not yet. So I - I smuggle food and money and help the underground alliances. If I am dead, they are ruined.”
“And if I don’t kill you, so am I,” Katya said sadly, the realisation that she truly had no other choice dawning on her. It was either her, or the princess, and she wasn’t in the business of self-sacrifice. “I - I am so sorry.”
And with that, Katya seized every ounce of strength she’d ever had to use and leapt forward, as swift as a snake and twice as deadly, the dagger in her hand heading straight for Alaska’s heart.
Alaska’s eyes opened wide, and she let out a single cry.
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honestsycrets · 4 years ago
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The Gilded Cage VIII: Sestra, Sestra
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❛ pairing | ivar x rus!reader, brother!oleg x sister!reader
❛ type | multi, square Peach for Ivar.
❛ summary | ivar just wants to be free of her to start over again. too bad she’s not done with him.
❛ story tags | impotency, anxiety, PTSD, nsfw, trickery (Oleg), angst, sibling incest (one way), obsessed Oleg, angry Oleg, jealous Oleg, deceit, Rus Princess!reader, general jealousy, time period ableism, manipulation, psychotic Oleg, hallucinations, exhibitionism, mention of death, mention of spousal abuse, voyeurism, arranged marriage within family, platonic!igor x reader, ivar4b-age!igor, spanking, discipline, fingering, assault, aftercare, obsession.
❛ sy’s notes | look at the tags before reading. Sestra: Sister, I used proto-slavic even though that was a bit off.
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The first kiss is reminiscent of the plump peaches Oleg has imported from the south for you. Modestly sweet, strange, delicious against his tongue. The first time Ivar trusts you-- but really, really trusts you, it’s as if a hundred peacock butterflies have set off in his stomach, fluttering wings and all, rustling around in his belly.
He shifts, his naked belly between your thighs, leaning up against your dress. Only one layer separates you from him, and in that beauty, Ivar groans. It isn’t as if you are one of those women-- one of the ones at home with thin layers and thinner morals. 
You took pride in your veil, your long dresses, something fitted a little looser, vests and capes of rich silver furs. For a woman with such morals to be stripped down-- a Christian woman-- you knew how he felt about it. He didn’t simply like it. He was hungry for it. 
“Is it too tight--?” you ask modestly, climbing down his body. 
“I’m fine.” 
What now? He lays there, chest heaving, cognizant of the candles flickering light all around him. Any one of the guards could lend a spear to run him through with. To crawl in bed with a Christian, his blood runs cold as he thinks of what Floki would say. He has truly disobeyed his gods as a god. From behind the strip of cloth over his eyes, everything is a cloth black. He wishes he hadn’t done this. He wishes he hadn’t--
“Ivar,” you whisper so gently, and everything is easy. It’s too easy and good, and that gives him a chill. Fingertips ghost over his chest, drawing to one side to the other. It must make you feel like a queen to have the power you did. “Let go.”  
His world goes blank when he feels your clothes fall to the side of him. You sweep down, the tips of your breasts graze his chest-- and the thin fabric of your veil does too. He considers your hair tickling his skin, and for a moment everything felt right. 
He’d touch you if he could but with his hands above his head he as helpless to all the control he so desperately needed. Your thumb flicks, dragging over his nipple, and he jerks like a caged in wolf, rooting in the pillow under his cheek.
“Too much?” you ask him. 
“I’m not a woman,” he insists. You bite small nips between his chest. His teeth gnash. Between them, the smallest of moans rupture past his locked teeth. Those small, teasing bites are like some stupid game with his body. 
“How does it feel?” 
Your hand connects with his half hard erection and he chews on the right words mixed with frustration. You hook your pinky under the ties bouncing them loose. He’s surrounded by your soft words and the sweet care you take in undressing him. 
“I--” he groans, searching for the words to explain why-- he can’t. He dry heaves the air, pouring it out in one long gust. “Not yet.” 
Your hands settle over the top of his pants, and before long you’re molding your hand over his shape, because he’s-- he’s firm. You stop a moment, and he while he can’t see it, he hears it. His taut muscles tighten and roll as he feels you shift over him.
“I’m a little soft,” you whisper, like an absolute divine Christian angel. Your hips take to their own movement, grinding over him as if you were here to deliver him pleasure. Oleg-- his mind wanders, remembering the old fool and how protective your brother was.
If he were here… 
“I like it,” Ivar answers. “It’s-- nice.” 
You settle over him, balancing on your knees, rolling over him, and he’s aware of his body’s reaction. Swelling to firm hardness, that’s not the hard part-- the hard part was the work, and the expectation to keep up. He imagines you above him, your cheeks flaring in rushed embarrassment. You move against him, pretending that you knew what you were doing. Then he’d pretend like he knew what he was doing-- because he was a man. 
And he’s meant to know what to do, beyond his image, beyond being King Ivar the Boneless… Boneless. His tongue slides anxiously over his lip. Suddenly he can’t-- he can’t-- and you stop his train of thought by dragging nails past his toned chest. Images of Freydis soar into his mind. His hands jerk above his head, wheezing a heavy breath, catching air in forced gulps of panic. What’s wrong? you say. 
Your fingers pull at the rope around his hands, loosening it quick. Ivar thrusts himself forward and snatches the blindfold from his bright eyes, small in the expanse of the blue sclera, and you’re not sure what’s happened. Only that as he pushes you off to the side, leaning over the edge to catch his breath, it must be you. 
Everything rushes back to him. He’s not home, in his great wooden bed surrounded by familiar things. He’s here where guards kept out his door at night and the windows were high in the air, too far to jump from, and-- he’s Oleg’s glorified prisoner in this tower high above the ground.
Then there’s you. 
“I did something… wrong?” you suspire softly, but there’s no way that Ivar would answer the way he gulps air. He knows what you must be thinking. Something about you-- something about you was off-- and wrong to him to react in such a way. You sulk to the other side of the bed, drawing a white dress to make yourself decent. 
“Am I wrong?” 
His head turns, past the dry heaving that’s filled his head with an unnecessary amount of air, like he was up in the clouds with Oleg again-- his wretched laughing ringing his ears. You stand upright, not yet forgetting the horror that previously set on his face. Whatever had happened, you had fucked up, you had thrown him into the likes of a panic you had never seen on his handsome face. Ivar tucks a long brown chunk of air behind the shell of his ear. 
“Don’t go,” he reaches out, touching the hem of your dress with a hand that shook akin to crackling wildfire. It’s desperate to stop you. “It isn’t you.”
“Then what is it?” 
He stops then, lip curling, and responds. “...you…” breathless, he makes words, “...reminded me of her.” 
It doesn’t register at first. No, it could have been anyone that he was talking about. He looks at you with such conviction and truth that immediately thereafter, you realize that it is his wife he means. That the whole time you were there, with him, this woman had been sinking through his brain. Suddenly whatever pleasure you had in the intimacy of the moment with him has shriveled there. The moment has drawn cold. You bring your hands around your arms, forcing warmth to fill your body because it’s all you have to cling onto.
“Okay.” 
In his absence of a sufficient reply, you slip out of the room in a rushed half-formed plan to sink away from the room like the wind. Vasilli stands there. You’ve forgotten him in the presence of the man that sits on the heavy wooden stairs. His hands were clasped, gnawing on his knuckle. It registers with him all at once that you’ve slipped away from Ivar’s room not because of the noise, or a call, but because your sluggish steps brought you to collapse on top of him. Oleg’s mind halted, lip quivering apart in something of a shit eating smile, until he realizes that whatever had happened had been sufficient.
“Sestra.” 
The memory of his arms, the security of them when your father was pushing and pushing for marriage, until his “untimely” death solidified something strange in your mind. That whatever it was-- Oleg would take care of it. Because your Oleg was a safe haven, one where rebellious nature would always bring you back to him. The tears bubbled over your cheeks in hideous sniffles. 
“Sestra,” Oleg urged, bringing you to stand on legs limp like wet cloth. His voice wavers with a concealed happiness. Past your bubbling tears, the flicker of the torches that kept the hallway to Ivar’s room illuminated flickered. “Come, let us… go to your room. You can tell me what happened.” 
He carries you back to your rooms-- your mother’s before yours. It fails to come to your attention that Igor is nowhere to be found. Nor that woman who so captured Ivar’s love, attention, and arousal. It is lit in soft scented candles, each one flickering with warm shade. You find yourself face to face with Oleg, laying side to side, body to body. His dark eyes seem friendlier then they have in days, smoothing over your back over and over. 
“--of Katya? He could not--” 
“Please don’t mock him. Men don’t-- you know how prideful they are,” you say, your hand against his chest, pleading with him for the privacy of the moment. Oleg recalls your fondness for Ivar the cripple, and smiles justifiably. “I would not do that.” 
You look skeptically at him. 
“I am surprised, that is all.” He muses almost idly, although he focuses on you with clear purpose. “He has the very jewel of the Rus in his bed and he could not follow through with it.” 
“It is not obligation,” you blurt out. “It is love.” 
His eyes glitter in amusement as he looks into your wet ones, which have scarred over with the tears you kept spilling at the mention of Katya’s name. “Why is it that she has all the love and I none?” it’s a soft whisper, one that you must have thought he didn’t catch, but you needed to speak it. 
“Ah how dramatic. That isn’t true,” Oleg amends. His hands find your small waist, securing himself against you. “Perhaps you have all you need. You have my love.” 
You look at him with a bewildered frown, your eyes suddenly heavier with the pulsing behind your eyes, demanding more tears be shed. “It is not the same.” 
“It could be if you let me.” You blink, wet tears coating your lashes, and as you rub them away, he seizes the chance to come closer, on top of you. “I would move the very earth for you.” 
You don’t doubt that. You’ve seen it. Your father’s failed arrangement-- and his timely death. “I know, Oleg.” 
“Let me.” His palm slips your thighs apart, and your eyebrows press together, chasing the sensation of his broad palms slipping your thighs apart and in that place, he slips between your legs with cautious movement.
You really thought Ivar would be it.
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shinymooncolor · 4 years ago
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Sweater weather chat #9
A little Friday tribute to @lumosinlove ‘s sweater weather. 
@siriuslyqueer and @wxlfstxrx thanks for helping me through a groundbreaking epiphany. <3 
Sweater weather chat #9
Celeste has plans. Logan mopes. And drives a minivan. Kuny hides in a library. Nado is a star. And the wives call him Jackie. We get some lady love. Cause hockey wives are awesome. The team dads get in trouble. What did happen in Prague? Does mild vodka exist? 
--- 
Thursday 3.42 pm 
Celeste: hi ladies! So, as you know the long dreaded school talent show is looming on the horizon. I don’t know with you -  but that’s a Saturday we will not get back…. Any ideas?? 
Anya: we send our husbands to the show. 😜 zhenya is helping my kids anyways. Not sure how that happened. But him and Jackie came to leech a free dinner and somehow ended up joining the talent show. 
Linnea: that sounds like something that needs to be recorded! I’m up for a spa weekend. God knows I need it. We’re headed for Sweden next month and I need to prepare mentally for my in-laws. 🙊
Celeste: so we agree to send the boys to the show? And get on with a lovely spa weekend ourselves 😍
Allison: I’m in. I love my boys but I’ve seen them dance and heard them sing. Brady has been successfully avoiding the past three events!!! But I’m intrigued about what the hell Kuny and Jackie can help with? 😂 
Anya: I don’t know and I don’t care. It’s sergei problem now. I’ve warned them to keep it kid friendly. Jackie is still a little scared of me, I think. 👻
Celeste: they are good boys but those two. I swear they’re worse than our lot. And that’s saying something. You remember Prague? 😠
Linnea: the one with the flags at worlds? What were they thinking.... 
Allison: oh sounds like there’s a story there! What did they get up to? 🙊
Linnea: let’s get back to that after three bottles of Chardonnay... 
——
Thursday 4.08 pm 
Celeste: you are going to the talent show. And take Logan with you. He’s been moping for a week. He’s such a teenager. 😂 and DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT DRINKING AGAIN. I will tell Logan about Prague. 😠
Dumo: but I have to train. And don’t tell anyone it’ll undermine our authority. 
Celeste: no you don’t have to, it’s optional. Don’t even start Pascal. You’re taking your ragtag team Dads and you’re all going to sit through 3 hours of recorders and botched Disney music. And you’re going to applaud your babies. And please film whatever the terrible two get up to. I’ve seen the outfits. 😂😍😂😍
Dumo: I love you but you’re mean. Enjoy your spa day. What do I get for being good?
Celeste: a wife who won’t make you sleep in the guest room. And if you’re really good we can talk about the white one again. 
Dumo: I’ll be good!!! 😇😇😇😇😇 
Celeste: 😉
——
Thursday 5.00 pm 
Dumo created a group chat. 
Dumo added Sunny, Sergei, Brady, Kuny, Nado and LoganT 
Dumo named the group chat talent show 
Dumo: gentlemen I believe you’ve all had your fates sealed. We’re now sentenced to suffer through the horror of our kids’ school talent show.
LoganT: what am I doing here? I don’t have kids leave me out 
Dumo: you left your disgusting workout clothes in MY basement. Without cleaning it up. You’re coming. Also Leo and Finn are both with their families. And Celeste made me take you cause apparently you’re sad and mopey. 🤓
LoganT: I’m not sad and mopey. I’m brooding and there’s a big difference. 😠
Sunny: you’re 22 and your boyfriends are out of town. Chin up buddy and enjoy a Saturday of off key singing and recorder hell. And you are moping 😆 brooding is for grown-ups… 
Nado: we’d offer to take you to some strip clubs and get you laid but. Well. We don’t really frequent gay bars so. 
Sergei: really? I once had to rescue u 2 from drag club 😂
Nado: it was one time and we didn’t realize until we were inside. Felt like a fucking Kingggg man they know how to party. Wanna go to a drag club baby Logan? Is fun times! 
Kuny: was fun. But we promise to do show with baby Russians he he 👻👻👻👻
Nado: well i didn’t understand what i said yes to. Thought she asked if I wanted to play Pokémon. 😳
Sergei: that’s why she asked. She’s too sneaky. Not like it. What you do for show? 
Nado: no idea. Your wife is making us an outfit and told us to just stand in the background 🙈
Dumo: oh I’m recording this. Anyways there’s never any parking. You’d think with the obscene fees we pay for that school they could at least organize proper parking. Let’s carpool. 😎
LoganT: why are you carpooling? You’ve got like a combined car catalogue of 25 cars....... 
Brady: this is clearly Logan’s first rodeo. Okay. Sergei always brings some Russian elixir of life. So. We need you to drive. 😘
LoganT: IM NOT DRIVING A MINI VAN! IVE GOT A REP 
Nado: there’s alcohol involved? I’m in!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳
Sunny: only way to get through this....😔
Dumo: you don’t have a rep. You have two boyfriends, an accent and a sweaty hat. You’re driving and I’m not going to argue. 😠 
—- 
Saturday 12.33 pm 
Dumodad: if anyone is wondering what the terrible two are up to this fine Saturday. They’re currently in the middle of a moving rendition of Into the Unknown. Yes they’re wearing blue sequins. 🤩
*kuny and nado dressed in blue glitter sequins onesies with a bunch of kids singing into the unknown* 
Prongstar: HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA WHAT IS GOING ONNNN???? 
Blizzard: well. There’s a future in show biz for those two. 😂 kuznetsov and nadeau the movie. 
Bradygunz: this is giving me some fresh prince vibes little rays of sunshine!!!😂😂😂😂 @talkiewalkie 
Talkiewalkie: yesss!!! Hahahah 😎😎😎
 ——- 
Saturday 1.22 pm 
Sunny: I love my kids but. There’s a reason it’s not a good idea to always just tell kids they’re good at stuff.
Dumo: hahahah the one with the juggling was fun. 
LoganT: why are we still here? I won’t ever get my hearing back after that bag pipe thing. 😭
Sergei: that’s why we drink. I like the politic ones like a kid could ever know so many isms 
Sunny: quit hogging the flask. Gimme. 
Brady: I didn’t know so many isms existed. Pretty sure some of them were just random words. 😂
——
Saturday 2.01 pm
Logantremblayzzz: guess who’s pissed at a kids talent show. Guess who’s hit on every teacher and has suspiciously disappeared and guess who’s somehow ended up in a production of you’re welcome from Moana? 
Sirius: this is fun.... 1) the dads are pissed. I went to a school play with them once. Sergei brought his flask? 2) I wanna say Nado 3) Kuny? 
Blizzard: ohhh I’ve got 2/3 swapped - Kuny can’t sing in English... and nado’s got the tattoos 😂
Eliascookie: I wanna know more about the sequins? 🥳
Prongstar: tell us!!!  
Logantremblayzzz: 1) yes the dads. Sergei swears it’s only mild vodka. But they’re definitely not sober. 2) Kuny was missing but I found him. He is hiding in the library. 3) yes Nado has somehow ended up on stage again. He’s doing that pec thing it’s weird. I swear the moms here are swooning. He signed someone’s bra. ITS A SCHOOL. 
KrisVolley: you’re just cranky that you had to drive the mini van. Haha! 😂
CarbO’Hara: Logan! You drove a minivan? 🤪🤪🤪🤪 cuteeee 
Logantremblayzzz: it’s stupid and ugly. 🥴 
Dumodad: suits you then 🤪
Logantremblayzzz: I’m telling your wives. 
Sergei_81: no Logan. Don’t be mean. U can have my car 
Bradygunz: we don’t tell Celeste when you leo and Finn cause problems!!!! 
Dumodad: he’s bluffing! Remember who let you live FOR FREE in his basement! I do your laundry and feed you. 
Logantremblayzzz: celeste feeds me and does laundry. You’re just as much a leech. 
Dumodad: I pay for things. 😠
RussianGod: I don’t know where are. Books everywhere help I hide from moms so many everywhere 😳😳😳😳
Ollibear: someone please rescue Kuny before the soccer moms kidnap him 😂
Timmyforrealz: wow Kuny go get some cougar love 🐯🐯🐯🐯🐯 hehehehe 
RussianGod: I scared. Help. @dumodad @logantremblayzzz @sergei_81!!!!!! Help help 
Sunnysideup: DONT flirt with them then. You asked for it. I’ll come get you. Stay in the library. You’re missing nado singing. 
——
Saturday 2.12 pm 
Logan: hey Celeste. Show is ok. How’s the spa??? ❤️❤️❤️
Celeste: charmer... it’s fine thank you - how are the boys?
Logan: uh. Well. 
Celeste: one sec love. 
—-
Celeste added Logan to the group chat 
Celeste: hi Logan! Please tell us about the show. How did the terrible two do with their performance 
Logan: well Katya got scared and refused to go on stage so Kuny had to hold her hand. It was really cute. Loved the outfits. They’re definitely never forgetting that 😂 other than that your husbands are sneaking drinks from sergei’s flask and Nado has been in stage for the past three performances 
Anya: he did what? I will kill him. Thank you for telling us Logan. Tell zhenya to be careful. Soccer moms are hungry.
Logan: will do. Want me to kick your husbands? 
Anya: no love. We have our own ways to punish our idiots 😈
Linnea: thanks Logan! 
Celeste removed Logan from the group chat. 
Celeste: well. I knew we couldn’t leave them alone. But the plan worked well - they’ve now signed themselves up for the events for the rest of the school year! 😎
Allison: 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 
—-
Celeste: Logan texted me. Do you have any idea how much trouble you all are in? Also someone go rescue Kuny. He’s not ready for a soccer mom. 😈
Dumo: I’m gonna kill that kid. Also sorry. But. There was a BAGPIPE. You’re very pretty and beautiful and I love you. Sunny has gone to rescue Kuny. 
Celeste: hmm. How are you going to fix it? 
Dumo: I’ll show you 😜 on my knees 👅
Celeste: 😈
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trixie-pixie · 4 years ago
Text
wish you were sober - songfic
Note: I just want to make it clear that I have absolutely NO intention of demonizing addiction with this story. With that being said, here’s a songfic I wrote that is PURE angst and mostly just a vent. Find me on AO3 at soleil_louise !!
This party’s shit, wish we could dip
Go anywhere but here
Trixie had gotten dragged along to yet another party with Katya. She didn’t even like going to them. She hated the noise, hated the smell of alcohol, hated being stared at by people who barely knew her, let alone liked her. She was only there for Katya, who had disappeared to “get another drink” over half an hour ago.
This wasn’t an irregular occurrence. Katya would beg Trixie to come to these parties with her, and Trixie would agree, only for her sake. Katya almost always abandoned her halfway through, until she needed a ride home at the end of the night. Trixie sipped on the one beer she was allowing herself tonight.
Don’t take a hit, don’t kiss my lips
And please don’t drink more beer
The idea of a one beer allowance was something completely alien to Katya, who always got completely trashed at parties. That was the entire point of going, she had explained to Trixie once. Getting drunk was just part of the fun, they were teenagers, damn it.
Trixie couldn’t agree less- nothing sounded less fun to her than being drunk. The idea of not being in control of her body terrified her. What if someone tried to attack her, and she wasn’t able to fight them off? What if someone put something in her drink? What if she got hurt?
I’ma crawl out the window now
‘Cause I don’t like anyone around
Kinda hope you’re following me out
But this is definitely not my crowd
Trixie desperately wanted to leave. It was 11:30, she was tired, and her feet hurt from the heels she had squeezed them into. Her dress was uncomfortable, and it was way too loud here. She could barely think over the blasting music. How were they not getting noise complaints?
She knew she couldn’t leave, though. She had to be there to make sure Katya was safe. She had to drive them home, and she would never forgive herself if Katya had gotten in the car with a stranger, or worse, tried to drive herself home. God forbid something happened to her. Trixie couldn’t bear the thought of her best friend getting hurt, no matter how many times Katya hurt her. 
Nineteen but you act twenty-five now
Knees weak but you talk pretty proud, wow
Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed
Take me where the music ain’t too loud
It wasn’t that Katya was just drinking to be irresponsible. It made her confident. Happy, even. No matter how awful it was to say, Trixie didn’t think she’d ever seen Katya as happy as she was when she went to parties. Sober, she was an anxious wreck. Always scared to say the wrong thing, always worrying about what people thought about her. Drinking helped her loosen up. It made her feel like she felt like she could do anything.
Trixie had brought up how unhealthy that was to her once. Katya had gotten defensive- saying that it’s not her business how she helps herself. Trixie was a mess of anxiety as well, Katya was just the one doing something about it. She had apologized almost immediately, but it still hurt. Trixie now knew better than to try to solve her problems.
Trade drinks but you don’t even know her
Save me ‘til the party is over
Katya hadn’t always been so reckless. The first few times, she just got tipsy. But as time went on, she got more and more reckless with it. Drinking at parties turned into drinking after school. Two drinks turned into three, turned into five, turned into more than Trixie could count. Dancing with her friends turned into doing things she knew she’d regret, if she remembered them by morning.
This made Trixie so angry. She just wanted to yell at her, tell her that she was ruining her life. Katya could end up hurt, or worse. Trixie feared the day that she heard about a drunk driving accident on the news, or the night that Katya ends up in the wrong place with the wrong people at the end of a party. She just wanted to protect her, but she didn’t know how.
Kiss me in the seat of your rover
It had happened after one of the first parties they went to. At least, that was the first time it happened. They had driven Katya’s car there. At the end of the night, Trixie drove Katya home, and that’s when it happened.
Katya’s mouth tasted like vodka, cigarette smoke, and red lipstick, but Trixie didn’t care. Katya kissed with a hunger that Trixie had never experienced before. They made out in her car for nearly half an hour, until Katya had tried to take it further and Trixie had to break it off. There was no way she was gonna do anything more than kiss Katya right now, while she was drunk and Trixie was most definitely not.
That one time turned into two, turned into three, turned into almost every party they went to. It almost always ended with Katya pouncing on Trixie, and Trixie giving in. No matter how upset and tired Trixie was at the end of the night, Katya always felt like safety and warmth.
Real sweet but I wish you were sober
Katya never remembered it the day after it happened. If she did, she never brought it up.
Trixie always remembered. God, did she remember. Those moments played in her head over and over every night. The things she felt for Katya were more than just drunk makeouts in a car. More than just flirty glances. She wanted to hold Katya, wanted to make her feel safe. She wanted to kiss her during the day. Hold her hand in public. But Katya never remembered. Sometimes it felt more like she was choosing to forget.
Tripped down the road, walking home
You kissed me at your door
It hurt Trixie more than anything to know that Katya only felt that way towards her when she was drunk. To know that no matter how in love with her she is, Katya will never feel the same way. Almost every night, she lay awake, wondering why. Why wasn’t she enough for Katya unless she was drunk? Was she just another drunk hookup for her, another pretty girl to kiss and then ignore? Why didn’t she want her?
Pulling me close, begged me to stay over
But I’m over this rollercoaster
Even more than she felt hurt, she felt angry. She tried, time after time, to show Katya how in love with her she was. She had been trying for years. But she never cared. Never wanted her unless she got wasted first. Trixie put so much effort into being good enough for her. She dragged herself to these parties, had practically begged Katya to hang out with her. But it was never enough, was it? She was never enough.
I’ma crawl out the window now
Getting good at saying “gotta bounce”
Honestly you always let me down
And I know we’re not just hanging out
Katya barely even wanted to see her anymore. Rarely answered her calls, never met her for lunch like they used to. She had better friends now, better things to do. People who weren’t smothering her, people who weren’t “too much”. Trixie barely saw her outside of parties at this point, and even then, Katya usually abandoned her halfway through, until she’d show up and try to make it up to Trixie by making out with her.
Nineteen but you act twenty-five now
Knees weak but you talk pretty proud, wow
Katya just got to have all of the fun, didn’t she? She got to lead Trixie on, kissing her at parties, holding on to her waist like she was hers. She didn’t have to deal with any of the guilt, or the responsibility, or the insecurity. She just got to do what she wanted, and have what she wanted, and she knew Trixie would hand it over to her at any moment.
Why did she do that? Why did she always give in to her? Trixie knew that she would just be nothing to her the next morning, but she made the same mistakes every night that they went out, kissing the girl she was so hopelessly in love with until her brain turned to TV static. She just wanted Katya to care about her. To love her, to take care of her the way she deserved.
Trade drinks but you don’t even know her
Save me ‘til the party is over
She was going to give Katya a piece of her mind. This ended tonight. She was done being lead on, done with not being cared about. The was fucking over it.
She saw Katya standing in the kitchen, refilling her cup and talking with some girls that Trixie knew as the “new friends”.
“We need to talk. Outside. Now.” Trixie said, trying to hold her ground. Katya giggled when she saw her.
“Hi babydoll, what’s up? Did you miss me?” the girl asked, her words slightly slurred. Trixie grabbed her arm.
“We’re going outside. Come on.”
Trixie led Katya outside, looking for a place that wasn’t infested with horny, drunk teenagers and that no drunk girls had thrown up in. She settled on the driveway of the house that tonight’s party was being held at.
“What are we out here for, baby? The party’s in there. Did you miss me too much, doll? Couldn’t wait?” Katya teased. Trixie’s face burned red as her fists clenched in anger.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Katya? You can’t just lead me on like this! You can’t fucking do that! You know how I feel, and I’m fucking over it.”
Katya frowned.
“Baby, I know you don’t mean that. Come here, okay?” Katya responded. Trixie felt tears stinging her eyes, but moved closer to Katya, who leaned in.
Kiss me in the seat of your rover
Real sweet but I wish you were sober
The night ended with the two of them making out, again. Nothing changed, of course. Trixie drove a drunk Katya home, who would ignore her in the morning. She drove home with a feeling of emptiness in her chest. Like her heart had been ripped out again, a fresh wound replacing what had just begun to heal over.
If she didn’t have anything, at least she had these nights. Maybe that was all she deserved, she thought. Maybe this was all she needed. She didn’t need anything else. She could survive.
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pichitinha · 5 years ago
Text
hello this is an about me page
i have been here for a really long time and i went through a lot of phases and i just think i want to have all the information that's actually important to me in one place, linked to my bio, and that's it yk? so here i am with this page that will be very unorganised and yeah lmao (click here for my covinsky fic masterpost)
links
first let's start with some links to things i like sharing and you might be interested in:
fic tag
ao3
ff.net
instagram
twitter
spotify
last.fm
letterboxd
relevant tags
my fics
my gifs
original posts
asks
cats
writing
tag games
music
about me
biggest otps
laila (my cat)
random info
my name is natalia and my nickname is naty (nat is fine too)
i am from são paulo, brazil
i am 28yo (as of aug/21)
i know next to nothing about astrology but main things are leo sun, libra moon, taurus rising
i am bisexual (meaning the only people i fall in love with are either fictional or famous)
i have depression and anxiety and i also have adhd
i am fat, i have a huge belly, big thighs, big arms, big face, double chin, all that, and every day i try to love my body even though it's usually really hard
i have extremely curly hair, nearing on coily, which in here we say is a 3C nearing a 4A
my hair is also naturally dark and currently its tips are green
i love tattoos and piercings, at the last editing time i have eleven and seven respectively
i have a bachelor degree in information systems and a masters degree in quality systems engineering
i currently work in a digital commerce team as a martech analyst (marketing + technology) which is pretty cool
i am a cat person (even though i love dogs too) and i have a beautiful one named laila
ships
listen i obviously ship a lot of things but this section is restricted to what ships are really important to me and that you will definitely see in here if you follow me
harry and ginny (harry potter) *
percy and annabeth (percy jackson) *
wally and artemis (young justice) *
dick and barbara (dc comics) *
peter and lara jean (to all the boys) *
trixie and katya (drag queens) *
ben and leslie (parks and recreation)
jake and amy (brooklyn nine nine)
jim and pam (the office)
peter and olivia (fringe)
chuck and sarah (chuck)
isak and even (skam)
* means i write/read fics about them
sitcoms
my favorite type of entertainment is a good old sitcom and here are some of my faves even though i love lots of them:
parks and recreation
brooklyn nine nine
the office
ted lasso
galavant
community
scrubs
that 70s show
new girl
the good place
tv shows
i also love non sitcoms shows and i don't really have a favorite genre so here are my favorite ones:
fringe
chuck
the haunting (hill house | bly manor)
sex education
sense8
parenthood
gilmore girls
skam
downton abbey
greek
broadchurch
marvelous mrs. maisel
musicals
i am musical trash even though i cannot sing for life, so here are some of my faves:
falsettos
in the heights
hamilton
dear evan hansen
come from away *
legally blonde
waitress *
les miserables
rent
the book of mormon *
something rotten!
kinky boots *
shrek the musical
* means i saw them live (either broadway or elsewhere)
drag queens
though i've moved on from the fandom, drag queens will always have a very special place in my heart and i'm gonna try to not list a hundred of the ones i like the most
katya zamolodchikova *
trixie mattel
raja
adore delano *
alaska thunderfuck *
bob the drag queen
jinkx monsoon
manila luzon *
bendelacreme *
alyssa edwards *
miz cracker *
aquaria *
sasha velour *
shea coulee
* means i've seen them live
movies
i'm not really one to watch tons of movies, more of a tv show kind of gal, but i do love romcoms and animation and a few other movies from different genres so here are some that i always think of when people ask me what movies i like:
brother bear
mulan
tangled
klaus
about time
27 dresses
love, actually
easy a
crazy stupid love
to all the boys i've loved before
pitch perfect
high school musical
descendants
knives out
the old guard
inception
a quiet place
us
get out
hereditary
please consider a lot more romcoms and animations there thanks
books
haven't really read in forever but here are some books i've read in my life and loved
harry potter *
percy jackson and the olympians *
heroes of olympus *
the kane chronicles *
the hunger games *
inkworld *
the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy *
never let me go
the ocean at the end of the lane
the perks of being a wallflower
the boy in the striped pajamas
wonder
the handmaid's tale
fahrenheit 451
and then there were none
the best laid plans
* represents a series
music
ok so obviously i listen to a lot of musicals but i also listen to other shit so here are some of my favorite bands/singers:
panic! at the disco
the script
fall out boy
all time low
the cab
sara bareilles
hozier
avril lavigne
my chemical romance
maroon 5
demi lovato
nickelback
paramore
backstreet boys
kelly clarkson
p!nk
and i think that's it? i was gonna list my favorite celebrities but we'd be here for a while lmao. maybe i'll add it later, but for now, here we go!
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flopgoblins · 5 years ago
Text
Unconventional
Or: 3 weddings and a funeral. Weird things happen when you’re a celebrity. Mostly at conventions.
1. Katya
The girl was wearing Halley High knee socks and the ubiquitous plaid cheer skirt that Katya hadn’t felt the same about since Matt’s story about what happened after the cross-dressing photoshoot. The pigtails were a given. The extensions were off the rack, but the eyeliner was applied straighter than Katya could ever manage herself, and she told the girl so, eliciting a flustered giggle and a babble of thanks. Katya was glad she’d held herself back from making a joke about how hard it was for her to do anything straight, since it would have killed her publicist and made the girl turn an even brighter red. Plus, she’d stolen the line from Matt.
The boy was rather less effectively dressed as Wally, complete with cheap red wig, and Katya refused to examine him any further than that after feeling the bulge in his pocket when he hugged her for the photo opp. It wasn’t the first time, but it never got any less gross. At least he hadn’t made any comments about how hot it would be to see her and his girlfriend make out in matching outfits, but-
“Vanessa, there’s something I need to ask you. Um, and hopefully Katya doesn’t mind.”
Oh god.
Katya turned, ready to signal to the assistant standing off to the side of the backdrop, but then she realized the faux Wally was kneeling. The bulge in his pocket was gone, and in his hand was a small black box.
Katya let out an involuntary cackle of laughter, and clapped her hands over her mouth. Almost as mortifying as an erection in JCPenney khakis, but tragically longer lasting.
Next to her, the girl in pigtails burst into tears.
“Will you marry me?”
What followed was the predictable flurry of snotty affirmations, damp selfies, and fans still waiting in line craning their necks to see what the holdup was. Katya made as many exclamations of delight as she felt she could before warranting a SAG award, and then hustled the enfianced couple towards the exit.
But first….
“Wink twice if you need a way out,” Katya whispered to the still tremulous girl as she hugged her. “Totally understand if you only said yes because of the circumstances, it was a super weird position for him to put you in. And me. Romantic, of course. Sort of. But I can get you out the back door if you need an escape. No? Sure? Okay. Congratulations.” She released the girl, blew a kiss with a spangle-nailed hand, and turned to greet the next group.
“Oh hey! So great to meet you! You will not believe what happened with the last people who came through…”
2. Nico
Nico was still new enough to it that the meet and greets were both novel and incredibly weird. Matt and Katya didn’t even seem to register them anymore, viewing them with about the same lassitude they viewed comicon panels or table reads, but since Nico found panels and reads pretty fucking exciting, photo opps were still a definite thing. And, like having strangers touch your hair and face every morning to get you camera ready, a definite mixture of cool and intensely bizarre. He wasn’t sure if it was weirder to have people paying actual money to meet him - and hug him, and sometimes burst into tears - or to call him by Jack’s name instead of his own.
“You get paid either way,” Matt said, who’d just been Wally’d no fewer than a dozen times.
“Yeah, but,” said Nico, “they know we’re not them, right?”
Matt gave him a gentle, pitying smile, and then both were dragged off for the next round.
After some time, Nico got into the flow of it. He could almost always find something to compliment fans on - their costumes, or their memory for Halley High lore, on which he could generally go toe-to-toe, or their ability to quote his lines back to him word perfect. Katya and Matt had described all of it as vaguely awkward and mostly boring, but Nico liked it, up until the point something happened that he was pretty sure they’d been lying to him about.
‘At some point,’ Matt had said, ‘They’ll do something weird in front of you.’
‘Yeah,’ said Katya. ‘Like get you to roleplay with them.’
‘Or propose,’ said Matt.
‘Aw, fuck off,’ said Nico, who was used to them messing with him at this point.
“Sasha,” said the girl with purple streaks in her hair. “I’m asking you here, in the sight of the greatest thespian of our generation, to do me the very great honor-”
“Oh!” said Nico, and covered his mouth.
“Oh, Fern!” said Sasha, whose shirt proclaimed her a member of Wallack Nation.
“-of marrying me.”
Nico moved his hands from his mouth to his eyes as Sasha flung herself into Fern’s arms. “Oh wow! Oh my gosh!” He uncovered his eyes, saw tongue, and covered them again.
“Oh my god! Did you know that was gonna happen? Holy sh- Wow! Uh. It feels weird that I’m here. Should I leave? Kelsi, please don’t charge them the $75 for the photo opp, this one’s on me. Seriously, should I leave?”
3. Jordie
The rest of them always wrapped up meet and greets before Jordie did. Part of this was because Jordie was bad at ending conversations, and tended to let fans run riot over him, killing the time limit and the event manager’s soul. The rest of it was because Jordie’s line of fans was twice as long as anyone but Matt’s, and Jordie hated turning anyone away.
“Look on my works, ye mighty,” murmured Matt, forty-five minutes after the rest of them had finished and were still waiting for Jordie to re-emerge. He flipped his wrist, looked at his watch, and tilted against the wall. “And despair. I have seen the future, and it is blond, peppy, and nineteen.”
Katya was scrolling the #jordieswiftsdcc tag and perusing selfies from the line. “This person waited two hours to see him and is pretty much creaming herself for the opportunity. This person waited three hours and is getting his signature tattooed on her wrist. And this one looks like he’s had some minor plastic surgery to look more like him.”
“Jesus,” said Nico, horrified. He knew they sometimes forgot that their little cast member, who tended to have half the screentime and a third the lines the rest of them did, was not only a fan favorite but had amassed 5 million subscribers on YouTube for a reason. “Poor Jordie.”
Katya clicked ‘report’ on a Tweet that Nico couldn’t read beyond the handle, which was @jordieswift_tongue_my_taint. She slid her phone into her back pocket and tilted against the wall next to Matt. “Competition, Tiny. Your agency is gonna have a cow if he starts to surpass you.”
Matt curled his lip in what might have been a smirk. “My agency should just sign him and turn me out to stud.”
Katya slid down the wall until she was squatting on her heels, fringe from her boho vest brushing the floor. She dragged her finger through the dust on the ground. “Tiny ginger babies cropping up in pastures everywhere next spring. Seabiscuit, out of Georgina, by Matt.”
Matt prodded her until she tipped off her heels and sprawled on the floor. “I’m happy to sell my semen but if they actually need me to mount anyone-”
“Guys, please,” said Nico. He was getting antsy, ready to go get dinner, and bouncing a little on his toes to keep himself awake. “There are kids around. Maybe less with the semen?”
Matt dodged Katya’s attempt to pull herself up on his ankle. “How about the mounting, is the mounting okay?”
Katya grinned from the floor. “Oh, I’m sure Nico’s okay with you mounting-”
Matt yawned. “Where the hell is Jordie?” he said. “Seriously, they’re shutting down the venue any minute now.”
“Let’s go look,” said Katya, and clambered upright, scooping up her purse in one hand and Nico’s arm in the other.
Jordie was down to the last fan, but it was immediately clear why it was running over time. It wasn’t just a matter of exceeding the allotted five minutes so much as a ‘death do us part’ thing, given the fact the fan was down on one knee and Jordie looked about 30 seconds away from a nervous breakdown.
“Oh dear,” said Matt. “They got him.”
“I’ll call security,” said Katya.
Nico ignored them both and dashed towards the unfolding scene, where Jordie was babbling helplessly.
“Wait, me? You’re asking me? Oh no! I thought this was about - I thought you were going to propose to someone el- Please stop kneeling. I have - Listen, I have a- Okay, my agent didn’t tell me what to do if this happened? I think my contract says no. I’m sorry! Okay, please don’t - um, please don’t - ”
Nico took one look at the ardent worship on the fan’s face and their outstretched hand, one look at the panic in Jordie’s eyes, and leapt into the fray. “Whoa, hey. Yo! I object!”
“Wh?” said Jordie.
“I’m so sorry,” said Nico, grabbing Jordie’s arm and securing him protectively against his side. “I’m so sorry, but he can’t marry you. Bigamy’s illegal, you see, and he’s already engaged.”
“He is?” said the fan blankly. Nico could almost see them scrolling Jordie’s Wikipedia page in their mind, searching for the ‘personal life’ section.
“I am?” said Jordie, looking as terrified as if he’d actually forgotten.
The fan’s mental scroll had clearly come up blank because their eyes narrowed. “To who?”
“Whom,” said Nico, because children of English professors never missed a cue. “Uh.” He hadn’t thought this all the way through, but realized at once he couldn’t go for his first instinct and throw Katya under the bus. For one thing, it would only encourage the #katyathecougar hashtag, and for another, she might hurt him. He’d deserve it, too. “To me, of course.”
“Wh?” said Jordie.
“Come along, dumpling,” said Nico, and swept him away.
Katya and Matt watched as Nico hustled them both through an ‘emergency exit only’ door, Matt with arms folded, Katya with her phone still out and security ringing through on the other end.
“Well,” said Matt. “If Jack/Silas wasn’t a thing before, it sure as hell will be now. Quick, Kat, bookmark the tag on AO3.”
“Be honest, Matty,” said Katya, as con organizers descended on the still-kneeling fan. “You’re a leettle bit jealous that Jordie got the proposal before you did.”
“I’ve been proposed to no less than five times, Kit-Kat.”
“But never,” said Katya, with a sly smirk. “By Nico Martin.”
4. Matt
The woman clutched a silver urn in one hand and Matt’s fingers in the other. It had been at least five minutes and Matt’s smile was at risk of becoming a rictus, so he changed it to a look of quiet sympathy.
“He would have loved to meet you,” said the woman, pressing Matt’s hand even tighter. “Gloucester Lost was his favorite movie. And we had the box set of NICU: NYC. Watched it nightly.”
“I’m so glad he liked it,” said Matt. He eyed the urn, in which resided the last earthly remains of Milton Heslop, apparently Matt’s biggest fan. His agent would not be pleased to know that one of Matt’s most dedicated viewers was dust, but he supposed this was what came of approaching thirty. An aging fanbase was just what a turn on Halley High was supposed to prevent, but he supposed a woman holding her dead husband was better than yet another red wig and loosely glued protuberance. “Would you like a picture?”
“I’ve been going to all his favorite places,” said the woman, still latched to Matt’s hand like she was one of the parasite wasps from episode five and he was - well, himself. “I scattered some of his ashes at Yosemite, and some at Dollywood. He always wanted to see the Space Needle, but they wouldn’t let me through the metal detector. I thought of the beach at Gloucester, of course, where Vincent tried to drown himself, but-”
But that particular beach didn’t exist, since they’d done all their shooting in Rhode Island for tax reasons.
“-but then I thought I could do one better.”
“A photo?” said Matt again, a little desperately. The pill he taken with breakfast - ‘breakfast’ might have been a generous description, but with his morning coffee and kahlua, anyway - was wearing thin, and he would have given a finger for the chance to smoke a cigarette. Going cold turkey this week had been a mistake, no matter how much he liked being able to kiss Nico without brushing his teeth first. “We can take a - There’s a photographer right - ma’am, do you-”
She’d finally let go of his hand and was busily unscrewing the top of the urn.
“Ma’am,” said Matt, but he didn’t leap back in time. Slowed reflexes, another sin imparted by the cold turkey.
“This is for you, Milton,” said the woman sorrowfully, and upended the urn at Matt’s feet.
“Well,” said Matt later, brushing grey dust off his lapels, “I’ve had two proposals and one break-up at fan events, but I can say that was my first consecration of human remains. Slightly less awkward than the proposals, honestly. Kelsi, do you have a wet wipe? Or a vacuum?”
As the event manager hurried over with some hand sanitizer and a damp paper towel, Matt shot a glance at Katya, who was shaking helplessly in the corner with tears streaming down her face. “Kitty, if you don’t get me something to smoke and I mean now, I’m doing to sneeze Milton all over your McQueen.”
“I’ll see what I can rustle up at the crematorium,” said Katya, and dissolved into laughter once again.
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benisasoftboi · 5 years ago
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Drag Race UK Episode 7 Thoughts:
Cheryl talking about Blu - so sweet <3
‘Who’s gonna be the shady one now’ ‘I don’t think Blu should’ve lip synced’ so... you, Cheryl
I love it when they play a really dramatic voice over the de-dragging when they all look like uncooked chickens
The way Baga’s wearing her badges is reminding me of Blu’s three boobs
I think I own that exact jacket Cheryl’s wearing
I really like Ru’s suit
PUPPETSSSS
‘British roasting’, missed a perfectly good opportunity to say ‘Sunday roast’ there
...Ru knows about Thunderbirds?
Baga doing a Liverpool accent suddenly reminded me of the whole ‘looks a bit like white Dave Lister to me’ thing from a few weeks back. I stand by it
Cheryl should wear that jacket more often tbh, it looks really good
All the puppets have been great (though none as good as the ones from the season 6 edition, that one has always been my favourite)
I absolutely love that Divina loved Viv’s depiction of her
I also love that Cheryl took that as a win. Iconic
Seeing them with their families is really, really sweet
Cheryl’s sister looks *exactly* like you’d expect
Man, when was the last time the queens were referred to as ‘racers’?
The Brit Crew look so uncomfortable
‘I haven’t seen anyone’ says Divina... Katya? Or does she not count? I guess I can understand her not counting
Hmmm I worry Cheryl will be overconfident due to the resemblance advantage
Oh. It’s so odd to hear their real names. I can’t look at Viv and think James
I can’t imagine doing anything like this with my family. My parents are both quite prudish and my brother is capital-S Straight (TM). They would never
Although... I think my mum would probably quite enjoy hanging out with some drag queens (she’s a *huge* Queer Eye fan, so I don’t think it’s a stretch?), maybe she could be convinced
Oh Cheryl’s ring is cute
‘Is your family homophobic spill the teaaaaa’ Christ, it feels exploitative at this point
The most dramatic broken zip of all time
...it is very, very easy to temporarily sew a zip closed, Cheryl. I’ve done it more than once
‘Zipgate’ I need there to be a scandal involving water so it can’t be called ‘watergate’ and we all have to come up with a new nickname for scandals, because I am so. bored. of -gates
Why is there a plastic baby head and torso on Baga’s desk
I love Ru’s silhouette and make-up
Micheala Coel’s dress is giving me Six vibes
I really like Cheryl and her sisters’ look but I think they’re going to get called simple
Viv and her mum are fine? I don’t dislike it but they’ve just left the runway and I’ve already forgot what they were wearing
I kinda don’t like it when they wear the exact same outfit for these... but otherwise I like Divina and her sister a lot
Aw Baga and her mum are really cute
Michelle and bodysuits... sometimes this does feel like a competition in appealing to the judge’s personal tastes more than anything else. The body suits look great, who cares if it’s easy if it also works???
Viv looks more like Michelle than her mum tbh
Also just noticing Viv’s hair, which I really like
I disagree with the judges, I think Baga and her mum have a perfectly decent resemblance, I get it
Less of a fan of Baga shoving her foot deep enough inside her mouth to scratch her esophagus with her little toe
Baga vs Cheryl lip sync then?
Yeah, I’m not commenting on the Baga/Baga’s mum thing (beyond that stuff on the main stage) - I actually really dislike that they would even put all that in the episode. It’s not the place of a reality show to start inviting us to judge their relationship, I think that’s pretty gross
Divina’s got the win I think
Yeah, again, I am very uncomfortable with us all sitting here and judging Baga and her mum’s relationship
Divina’s got the win!
If this doesn’t go well for Cheryl, she should take solace in the fact that her eyebrows have never looked better
Baga looks like a moody teen
Cheryl looks like she knows she’s leaving and is going to do a good performance anyway
Cheryl’s lip sync is a little better but Baga has the much better track record, hmmmmm
And it’s Baga!
Yeah not super shocked, at this point you do want to judge it on track record
Still extremely sad because Cheryl grew on me massively the last couple weeks. Might actually be my favourite of the season?
Won’t say who I’m Team so as not to jinx it
But very very interesting that they all have the same number of wins. Strong competition for each other
YES EVERYONE RETURNS I LOVE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS
Well. I’m hype. Gonna be a long week!
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missjanjie · 5 years ago
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Flying Too Close to the Sun (1/?) | Branjie
Title: Flying Too Close to the Sun Authors: Joley123, Multifandomgeek Summary:  Quidditch is very important to Brooke. As the captain of the Slytherin team, she’s going to do everything to make her house proud, and the only thing standing in her way is the incredibly annoying Gryffindor captain.
When Vanessa began her studies at Hogwarts she had one goal in mind - to become a Quidditch icon. The sport is unequivocally the biggest source of her energy and passion, and she will stop at nothing to be the best. There was just one pesky thorn in her side that came in the form of the Slytherin captain. Word Count: ~3k Relationship: Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo) Rating: T
Read on AO3
------
When you’re born a witch, going to Hogwarts is just something you know is going to happen in your life. You eat, sleep, grow up, and when you’re old enough, you get to go to school in this place far away from home, where you’ll learn everything you need to know about the magic you were born with, so you can be a useful citizen. For Brooke, it was never a question of being nervous or excited about it, it was just how it was supposed to be.
But, as she stepped inside the castle for the first time, looking around with wide eyes, impressed by the sheer size of the walls around her, she couldn’t help but feel small. She was told so many times about this place, by so many people in so many ways, that it never felt special at all.
At least, not until now. Not until she was looking at its imposing silhouette against the moonlight, then walking up its worn stairs and wondering where they were repaired after the war, where the witches and wizards fought and fell. She had just stepped inside the stone walls and saw the biggest staircase she had ever seen - though she barely had time to glance at the statues and portraits before she was being ushered inside the Great Hall, walking by the long tables with the colors of the four infamous houses until she was halted with the small group of children waiting to be selected into one of them.
We’re so small, she thought as she glanced at the other students, everyone else looks so grown up.
For once, she wished she knew someone, had a friend to hold her hand or give her a smile, a brother waiting for her at one of the tables. She thought about her brother. She had been thinking about him since she started getting dressed for the trip, really, but she pushed the thoughts away like she had been doing all day. Instead, she looked to the kids around her, appearing just as terrified as she was feeling. There was a scrawny looking girl with voluptuous brown hair just by her side, but she was too busy trying to contain her own excitement to pay attention to Brooke and offer any sympathetic gestures.
Names were being called, but she was only barely paying attention. She looked up at the enchanted ceiling showing the night sky, wondering if she could even expect anything about the selection, if it was set in stone with the legacy of her family. Wondering if she could choose to not be a part of it, and what would happen if she did.
“Brooke Lynn Hytes,” called the teacher before she could decide. It was all very quick, the hat whispering inside her mind then sorting her into Slytherin, then the cheer that came from the students. Suddenly, she was sat down and being asked questions, receiving congratulations, having people telling her useful tips to navigate her student life that she would forget in seconds, and being introduced to way too many people to possibly be able to learn all of their names.
The only person she really registered on her first day, she would meet in the dormitory. Brooke was so glad to see her cat and to get her hair down from the tight ponytail she had on since morning that she barely noticed the other girls getting in their own beds with their own pets, except for one.
“Cute cat,” said the girl, settling herself on the bed beside Brooke’s.
“His name is Henry,” she said proudly.
“My mom made me bring a frog, what the hell am I supposed to do with a frog?” responded the girl, lifting the cage from under her bed to show Brooke a big, angry-looking bullfrog. Brooke shrugged and the girl put the cage down again, shaking her head. “If it was a chocolate frog, at least, now that would make sense,” she said, giggling, taking a packet of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans from her bedside table and taking a handful. “Want one?”
“No thanks, I’m still full from dinner,” said Brooke, honestly not knowing how this girl was still able to eat after such a feast, even if she was very big. She wondered if it would be rude to lay down under her covers and say goodnight. She was so tired.
“What’s your name? I’m Silky.”
“Brooke Lynn. Or just Brooke.”
Silky smiled. “Alright, ‘just Brooke,’” she joked, making Brooke roll her eyes, even if she smiled too. “Imma catch my beauty sleep, see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Silky,” responded Brooke, settling in for the night with a smile in the corner of her mouth.
---
The first year proved to be way harder than Brooke thought. Even if she was a very good student, with good background and impeccable discipline, classes were hard and the professors were very demanding. It didn’t help that some classes seem to require not only study but talent. Brooke hated every time someone could do something better and faster than her just because it happened to be easier for them. It was an aspect of magic she just couldn’t get her head around.
Silky quickly became her best friend, her casual approach to life balancing very well with Brooke’s perfectionism. She also made Brooke laugh a lot, and that was something the blonde appreciated with all her heart. Sometimes, she couldn’t fathom why Silky was her friend, a concern she shared with her once only to receive the response “bitch, shut the fuck up and pass me the pumpkin juice”. So, she didn’t ask anymore, just counted herself lucky.
The one place Brooke found refuge in school was flying lessons. She had always loved Quidditch, her memories of going to matches with her father and brother the best ones of her childhood. She loved how people united around it, how it made strangers cry together and laugh together and dance together. She loved the excitement of watching a match, to cheer your favorite team on, to know when something amazing was about to happen or even to be completely surprised. She loved everything about it, and even if she didn’t get to really play yet, just the feeling of being on a broom was enough to fill her body with a kind of adrenaline and energy she knew she could become addicted to.
“Did you hear a first-year girl tried for the Gryffindor team?” said Silky one day when they were walking to class. She didn’t like Quidditch like Brooke, but her love for gossip was arguably even bigger.
“Really? Is she like a prodigy or something?” asked Brooke. At that point, they weren’t flying for more than two months.
“Nope, just plain stupid,” laughed Silky.
Brooke scoffed. “How egotistical. She should be focusing on learning the skills properly like the rest of us instead of trying to drag her team down by being too cocky.” That’s what Brooke was doing. She was learning, studying and practicing so she would be the best asset for her house in next year’s trials. She wasn’t good enough yet.
By the time their first year ended, Brooke had a goal in mind. She spent all summer extracting every knut she could from every relative possible with chores and small favors so she could buy herself a nice-enough broom. Her father eventually took pity on her and added to the money she saved so she could buy a second-hand nimbus from one of his work friends. Then, she started training, practicing every move she could try, every routine in the books. She even lost some weight, making her mother worry and almost call the whole thing off until Brooke agreed to reduce the hours she spent doing it.
When Brooke’s second year in Hogwarts began, she enrolled herself in the Quidditch Mentorship Program, one step before the actual trial for the team. Interested students from second-year forward could practice with a member of the team and refine their Quidditch skills before the actual trial. It was a better way to assess the commitment of potential team members, as well as have them improve their skills and better choose which position they wanted to play. It wasn’t mandatory, but it certainly improved your chances.
Brooke’s name was the first on the sheet pinned on the common room’s activity board. Her first training session with her assigned mentor would be on Saturday morning, and she couldn’t wait. She hoped it would be a rigorous person, committed to the rules like herself. Someone that wouldn’t be afraid of calling her out if she made a mistake, someone that wouldn’t see in her blonde hair, tender age and even gender a reason to go easy on her. Someone to push her boundaries and be serious and efficient about it.
When Saturday came around, Brooke tied her hair even tighter than she was used to before making her way to the field, her new broom in hand and an excited feeling in her stomach. She spotted a girl sitting on the grass by the shade in a sloppy position. She looked like a fourth-year, and there was no one else around.
“Hi, I’m Brooke,” she said, approaching the girl, who looked up at her, squinting against the light. “I’m here for the Quidditch mentorship?”
The girl swiftly stood up, smiling widely. “I’m the girl you’re looking for!” She swatted her butt to get rid of the dirt that stuck there from sitting on the ground and extended her hand for Brooke to shake. “Nice to meet you, I’m Katya.”
--- “No running!”
Screeching to a halt, Vanessa heeded the command and walked the rest of the way from the train into the expansive castle. No number of pictures or even the most detailed descriptions could have done it justice, she pointedly observed. As early as she could remember, her siblings had gushed about the magical marvel that was Hogwarts. The inside was straight out of the fairytales she was fed for bedtime stories and her eyes sparkled with enthusiasm – this was all she had been waiting for.
And Vanessa did not like waiting. It felt like she had spent her entire life waiting just to be here and the first thing she gets to do is wait with forced patience while everyone ahead of her gets their turn under the sorting hat. It had been at least twenty minutes and there was still easily a dozen first years ahead of her. So, she watched the sortings to pass time – observing which house seemed to be the most populated, how long each sorting took – anywhere from five seconds to three minutes – though when it reached that length it felt like an hour.
“Come on, come on, come on,” the way she bounced her leg so fervently caught the attention of the girl to one side of her, who turned to watch her with an amused grin.
“You know, they say patience is a virtue, but if I’m stuck here another minute, I’m gonna go crazy,” the girl laughed at her own comment, tucking a piece of short, chestnut-brown hair behind her ear. “What are you hoping to get?”
Vanessa blinked as she processed what the girl had said. “What sorta book you read that from?” she shrugged at the question. “Can’t say I care, long as that hat don’t tell me to get the hell out.”
This time, the girl let out a laugh that was downright goofy, leading Vanessa to cover her mouth as she giggled. “I doubt it can do that,” she assured. “I’m Yvie, by the way.”
“Vanessa.”
The subsequent small talk did make the time pass quicker and before she knew it, Vanessa watched Yvie get sorted into Gryffindor. Huh, thought for sure that chick would be a Ravenclaw. She shrugged – the hat knew best. It had to, or surely, it’d have been replaced by an equally powerful object. Either way, she beamed as the hat was placed onto her head and sorted her into Gryffindor as well. At least she knew someone going into it, deciding to sit with Yvie and watching the next student – a taller blonde girl – get sorted into Slytherin.
---
“Look!” Vanessa huffed when she didn’t immediately get Yvie’s attention and yanked on her arm. “Look! They have quidditch try-outs today!” her pearly-white grin did little to phase the other girl, who was looking at her as if she had sprouted another head.
“Are you nuts? We still have flying lessons – we’re literally still covering the basics. Like, do you want your own bed in the infirmary? ‘Cause that’s how you get—and you’re not listening to me. Okay, cool. Your funeral, I’m gonna go take a nap.” And with that, she turned on her heel and left her to her own devices.
Vanessa had made it down to the pitch. Her goal was right there in reach. She got a running start and she was on her way and before she knew it, she was only a couple yards away, the wind hitting her face only preparing her for what she would feel up in the air and—
“Absolutely not. Come here, girlie.”
The next thing she knew, Vanessa was hanging like a ragdoll as she was being hauled off by what she could only assume was an older girl that didn’t know how to mind her own business. Not to mention how embarrassing it was – she was sure plenty of students had witnessed the ordeal. She pouted and crossed her arms as she was plopped down onto a bench. “Yo, what the hell was that about?”
“It was about not letting Gryffindor be known as the house that let a first year try out without training the right way,” the girl tossed her long ponytail off her shoulder and sat beside her. “You kinda remind me of myself, though. I’m Alexis, what’s your name?”
After a few moments of silent defiance, Vanessa looked up at her. “Vanessa,” she sighed and looked back down. “I just wanna be part of all that. I been into quidditch since I was four on my brother’s hand-me-down training broom.”
Alexis gave a sympathetic nod and wrapped her arm around the first year. “I get it, gotta follow your passion and stuff. But let’s do this thing right, yeah? Normally the quidditch mentorship program don’t start til your second year, but I think we can get an early start. What do you think?”
Vanessa perked right up as she nodded with a reinvigorated smile. “Yeah!”
And Vanessa did try her best to be a good student. When she wasn’t just trying to show off, she actually followed Alexis’ instructions. As stubborn as she was, she was starting to find she was improving under her supervision. That, and having an older and wiser friend made surviving a new school easier. She could still present herself as being wholly independent and capable, while knowing there was someone that she could go to with all of her problems.
Being back home felt lonely in comparison, leading Vanessa to immerse herself in quidditch training. She was determined to blow everyone away when her chance in the pitch finally came. She’d make Alexis, her family, and all of Gryffindor proud. And maybe she would rub it in the faces of everyone who talked about her behind her back – she wasn’t blind or immune to the gossip, but no one would see her sweat if she had anything to say about it.
By the time the summer ended, Vanessa deemed herself ready to tackle her second year headfirst. She signed up for the mentorship program with Alexis, making it official, and their first scheduled training session soon followed. She even spotted familiar faces on the field – Yvie and A’keria – another girl in her year that she had developed a friendship with.
On the other side of the field, she noticed a Slytherin girl looking at her funny. Naturally, Vanessa was ready to march over and share some choice words with her until Alexis gave her a warning glare. Later, she thought to herself. She’d remember that face.
A few months later, the try-outs went by house and by random draw, Slytherin was up first. Vanessa watched intently, specifically looking for that blonde girl – who she could finally put a name to – Brooke Lynn Hytes. Duly noted. And she was good, much to Vanessa’s chagrin. Though it gave her a new goal as she waited her turn – be better than her.
And when all was said and done, she liked to believe that was what she did. She saw Alexis beaming with pride and the other Gryffindor hopefuls looking impressed. Perfect.
“Wow, Vanessa, you looked incredible out there!” A third-year boy told her. “I mean, you look incredible now, too, uh…I—”
“Thanks,” Vanessa walked past him as if she hadn’t paid the slightest bit of attention, causing a confused Alexis to jog until she caught up to her.
“Girl, what the hell was that? That boy was totally flirting with you!”
Vanessa shrugged and kept walking. “Sounds like his problem.”
Alexis froze with a puzzled expression before shrugging it off with an equal amount of nonchalance and following her protégé back into the building. No point in ruining her momentum with personal questions, she decided.
Besides, none of that mattered when Vanessa saw her name on the list. She was a force to be reckoned with and now everyone had to deal with it.
“Looks like your buddy made it, too.”
Vanessa looked over her shoulder and saw Brooke Lynn celebrating with the other Slytherins. “Good, lemme take her on, see who she’s giving the stink eye to after the next game.” Their eyes met for a brief moment and she could feel an instant surge of adrenaline pulse through her, one that made her heart speed up and her jaw clench.
Oh, it was on.
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broadwaycantdie · 5 years ago
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Drag Race! - Newsies (Pride) Month . Day 13
( buttons ) + ( drag queens )
a/n: i had this idea a while ago but i didn’t know how to do it so let’s see how it goes // also FUCK i love drag race
warnings: none
background: A few of the newsies LOVE Rupaul’s Drag Race. They’ve seen every season and rewatch old seasons when waiting for new episodes. Buttons has never seen the show despite his friends asking him to. He finally sits down with them to watch a previous season of their choice and begins to learn what it’s all about. The boys realize something they never have before and decide to run with it.
( this story only really works if you picture Damon J. Gillespie’s version of Buttons btw )
——————————————————————————
“Buttons! We’re gonna rewatch a season. You wanna watch finally? This one’s a good one, trust me.”
“Hmm...okay why not. But if it’s not good you owe me.”
“And if you like it, you owe us.”
Race slid over and made room for Buttons on the already full couch.
“I didn’t know all you guys liked Drag Race”, Buttons asked semi-shocked.
“Of course! You’ve never seen a competition like this, B, trust me. It’s got it all! Drama, beauty, friendship, iconic quotes, fights...man you don’t know what you’re missing!” Mush called out from the armchair.
“Well stop telling me and put it on so I can see for myself!” Buttons replied, ready to see what all the hype was about.
Race turned on the TV and opened up his purchased shows. He bought every season, no matter what.
“This is the best All Stars season”, he said, hovering the section over All Stars 3.
“Uh? Race?” Davey called out from the opposite armchair of Mush.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t you mean All Stars 2 is the best?”
“No? What are you on, Dave? Crack!?”
“Are you? Clearly All Stars 2 is the best!”
Buttons could see how serious the boys were about their show.
“Okay, okay, okay. Let’s settle this”, Davey said, getting up from his chair, “Raise your hand if you think All Stars 2 is the best.”
Davey, Jack, Mush, Kid Blink, Albert, Specs, Tommy Boy, and Jojo all raised their hands.
“Guys!” Race yelled, distressed.
“Alright hold up. Now raise your hand for season 3.”
Race’s hand shot up, along with Kenny, Smalls, Romeo, Elmer, and Henry.
“Thank you guys! At least I know a few of you have taste.”
“Crutchie, why didn’t you raise your hand?” Davey asked.
“Cause I like All Stars 1”, he replied.
Both Davey and Race stopped to look at him and couldn’t help but laugh.
“Who likes season 1?” Race joked.
“I do! I love Jujubee okay! She was robbed!”, he retorted defensively.
“You think everyone was robbed”, Jack butted in.
Buttons just sat and listened, more confused than ever.
There was a pause and then Race couldn’t help but speak back up.
“But like, tell me, how, HOW is season 2 better than season 3?” Race argued.
“Do you want it in a list or a paragraph cause we’re gonna be here for a while”, Albert quickly snapped back.
“List them off, let’s see what you got, Dasilva!”
“Bet! Hmm, where to start...” Albert began sarcastically, “Oh yeah! KATYA! ALASKA! ALYSSA! PHI PHI! ADORE! Must I continue?”
“Be my guest.”
“The entirety of ‘Read U Wrote U’—“
“Even Roxxy’s verse?” Race butted in.
“We don’t talk about that one and you know that”, Albert said very quickly and even more defensive than before.
“Alright, alright! Well based off majority, All Stars season 2 is the best”, Davey spoke up, trying to regain order.
“Well based off who bought every season, All Stars 3 is the best and that’s what we’re watching so sit down or don’t”, Race ended, pouting like a child having a tantrum.
“So are we watching the best one or Race’s favorite?” Buttons spoke up, still confused on what just happened.
At the same time Race said “the best” and Albert said “Race’s favorite”.
They looked at each other with angry eyebrows and continued on.
“Sorry I asked”, Buttons replied, trying to stop the tension.
“Look what you guys did! Buttons is scared and probably doesn’t even want to watch anymore!” Elmer called out.
They all looked at Buttons who wouldn’t admit it, but was a bit more nervous than before.
“Am I gonna get this heated when I watch?” He asked.
“Honestly...yeah. But it gets less scary when you know what to argue with and when it’s a valid argument”, Jack answered.
“Can we just put it on! Damn guys”, Mush yelled, hushing everyone up.
Race was still lowkey mad but continued on—for Buttons’ sake.
He started the first episode up and they all paid attention, watching like they haven’t seen it before. Acting like if they rewatch it they’ll be a different winner or someone won’t go home as early this time around.
They watched as the queens entered the workroom.
Until they got to the one, the only...
Kennedy Davenport.
She announced herself and Buttons’ eyes went wide.
“Davenport?”
This was the first time he spoke up since the episode started.
“Yeah! Most drag queens are part of a larger drag family and they have a drag mom. So Kennedy is in the house of Davenport and—“ Race started.
“How do they get that last name?” Buttons interrupted.
“Well it just depends, some people got it from just being friends with other drag queens but now usually it’s whoever ‘adopts’ you and kinda take you under their wing in the drag community. Your drag mom helps you out and usually has a family resemblance or a similar style yanno. Like any family!” Race explained.
“But the last name? And resemblance?” Buttons insisted.
“Geez Buttons, you’re admit aren’t you? At least you wanna learn.”
“No. Race...what’s my last name?”
“Uh?”
Race thought for a moment but couldn’t come up with anything.
“Wow. What a friend you are?” Buttons said, semi-sarcastically.
“Davenport”, Albert spoke up.
All eyes turned to Buttons.
Race’s eyes widened and you could practically see the light bulb pop over his head.
“Oh my god, B. You know what we have to do, right?”
“Uh...continue with the episode and act like nothing happened?”
“Nope! We have to put you in drag!”
“I was hoping you’d say anything besides that.”
“Oh come on, B! You’ll be perfect! You already have the Davenport resemblance—“
“—That’s racist.”
“Not racist. Anyway, your family is from Texas, and you have a gorgeous face. You’ll be a perfect Davenport!”
Something inside Buttons made him want to do it. Maybe it was seeing how excited his friends were. Maybe it was the fact that after only watching the first 2 minutes of the show he could already tell it was special. Maybe it was his own curiosity. But he couldn’t say no, his heart wasn’t letting him.
He was quite. Thinking real hard. But he just couldn’t make out the word ‘no’.
“So? What do you say, B?” Race asked, flashing his most persuasive puppy dog eyes.
Buttons let out a heavy breath.
“I mean...what‘s the worst that could happen? Right?”
Race’s face lit up and he immediately jumped out of his seat. He squealed with joy like a little girl.
“Okay Davey, call Sarah and have her bring over all her makeup and some of her nicest dresses, I’m sure they’ll be around the same size, B’s pretty thin and feminine—“
“—Hey!” Buttons butted in.
Race ignored him and kept going.
“Say it’s an emergency. I have heels he can wear so just get the rest, asap. In the meantime, B, you need to come up with your drag name.”
Davey followed instructions while everyone else got to work trying to find a good name for Buttons.
“Guys why don’t—“
“Hold on, B. I’m thinking.”
Buttons kept trying to butt in but with everyone “thinking” they wouldn’t listen.
Finally he just shouted it out.
“Guys! I already have a nickname! Can’t I just keep ‘Buttons’?”
Everyone looked at each other dumbfounded.
Why didn’t they think of that?
After all the chaos of name picking, Sarah arrived with everything Davey asked for. So they immediately got to work.
Buttons had 4 people working on his face almost at the same time. One person would start and then another would pick up where they left off; using their strengths.
After what felt like the longest and most painful thing to happen to his face, he was done...with that part.
Buttons wasn’t allowed to look in a mirror until they were all done. Race wanted something of a “big reveal”.
Race went into a room with Buttons and helped him finish getting ready.
“I don’t have any padding so we’re just gonna have to work with what you got...which ain’t a lot—“
“Hey!”
“I’m being honest! You ain’t got the proportions but we’ll just try to emph up your silhouette.”
He picked out the best dress Sarah brought—and the only one he thought would fit Buttons. It was long, gold, and fully sparkly from the neck to the floor.
“Hmm. How familiar are you with tucking?” Race asked.
“Uh?”
“I forgot this was your first time watching drag race. Uh, okay so what you do is...”
While Race explained the process of tucking, Buttons’ eyes grew wide and concerned. All Race had to do was look at the expression on Buttons’ face to know it wasn’t gonna happen.
“Alright, no tucking...got it. Okay so just put the dress on and I’ll get the heels and the wig.”
“Why do you just have a wig?”
“Why don’t you?”
Race left the room and returned—heels and wig in hand—to see a very confused Buttons trying to zip up the back of the dress.
Race couldn’t help but laugh and walked over to help him. He pulled the dress down, walking circles around his friend fixing everything into place.
He squeezed all Buttons’ curly hair under a wig cap and placed the new hair on just right. Race styled it to perfection—big, blonde, and beautiful—fit for any Davenport. Buttons had never smelt—or tasted—that much hairspray in his life.
“Step into these heels and come out when you’re ready. Give us a little runaway walk. The biggest thing about being a drag queen is confidence!”
Race left the room and went out to the living room with everyone else. They all waited anxiously to see the newest daughter in the Davenport family.
Coming out the door, Buttons was a whole new person. He switched from being the shy, nervous, and quiet Buttons all his friends knew, to a confident, flirtatious, and gorgeous drag queen that they want to know. He had his own drag persona and she was gonna live in this moment.
“Look at her though!” Race called out.
Buttons walked through the living room like she was on the main stage of Rupaul’s Drag Race.
Jack put on some runway music and Buttons owned the room.
She swayed her hips, gave some turns, and smiled her gorgeous smile. She looked like a whole pageant queen and the boys were living for it.
She was giving them body. She was giving them smile. She was giving them personality. She was giving them everything they didn’t know she had in her.
Everyone clapped, snapped, laughed, and shouted.
“You’re beautiful! You’re perfect! You look like Linda Evangelista!” Mush called out.
“You’re a model!” Jack continued.
“Buttons! Your smile is gorgeous!” Kid Blink finished.
“She’s a woman!” Kenny yelled.
“She is what?” Specs started.
“Sickening!” Romeo finished.
“Yas gawd!” Elmer called out.
“Shantay you stay, sweetheart!” Davey laughed.
Buttons finished her little walk around and couldn’t help but smile her widest smile. She still hadn’t seen what she looked like but damn she was feeling herself.
“Someone call the Davenports, they’ve got a new family member!” Albert joked.
Buttons finally looked in the mirror and couldn’t even recognize herself. She looked like a whole woman.
“You guys really went all out...I look gorgeous, henny!”
Everyone laughed.
“Am I doing this right?” Buttons asked, trying to pick up drag language and culture by just what the boys have been saying.
They all took pictures and let Buttons feel herself a little longer.
“Okay, I don’t know how much longer I can wear all this. How do they do it for so long? It’s only been 15 minutes and I’m dying!” Buttons said.
“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s bring you back down to Earth”, Race joker, walking Buttons back to the room.
While helping Buttons de-drag, Race couldn’t help but have a heart full of joy.
“Hey, B?”
“Yeah, Race?”
“Thanks for agreeing to do all this. I know it’s not really your thing but it meant a lot to us. And you looked absolutely stunning! I couldn’t believe it!”
“You know, I’m not ugly, Race”, Buttons joked.
“I know, I know. But still...thanks.”
“It was fun. I had a good time. Maybe we can do it again at some point? Maybe next time we’ll put you in drag along with me.”
“You don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to do that, B. You got yourself a deal.”
“Next time.”
“Next time.”
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firexfate · 5 years ago
Text
the black sparrow || reign
♔ nine ~ strange occurances ♔
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“You have been found guilty of treason, Count Sokolov for conspiring against the crown. How do you plead?” One of the Tsar’s advisors was reading out a document, before looking at the man before them, chained and held back by a few guards. Alisa felt her heart clench at the sight of the man, who was bleeding profusely on the floor. He was bruised and was twitching and grunting in pain. Anyone could tell that this man has been in the torture chambers, which is what the Tsar ordered before having him executed. The man said nothing, unable to utter a coherent sentence with him suffering. 
“His silence speaks for all of us.” The Tsar’s voice thundered throughout the hall. “He shall be condemned to death.” The guards holding him bowed low, proceeding to drag the man out of the room. 
“Wait,” Tsar Ivan Vasilyevich turned around to his daughter, a cold smile unfurling over his face, “Come, Alisochka.” Alisa swallowed, as she picked up the skirts of her dress and walked towards her father, curtsying low before him. Her whole body began to tremble. Ivan took out his sword and beckoned her forward. 
“My father gave this to me around your age. I was twelve,” He smiled faintly at the memory, “He told me to use this in the direst circumstances. This is fairly dire, wouldn't you agree? A treasonous act as this should not go unpunished. Am I wrong?” His voice became deadly as it dropped to a whisper. Alisa swallowed hard, frightened, before shaking her head.
“N-No, sire.” Ivan nodded. 
“I am glad you see reason.” He handed the sword to her. “Kill him.” The whole hall went dead silent. No one gasped. Everyone knew better than to defy the mad Tsar. Alisa drew in a shaking breath, as she took the sword fingering it. She was terrified. She never killed anyone in her life before. How could her father be so cruel and ordering her to kill him? As if reading her thoughts, Ivan leaned forward close to his daughter, a hand on her shoulder. Alisa bit her lip as he did so; he was squeezing her shoulder blade so tight, it was painful. 
“He is a traitor to the Almighty Empire. A threat to my rule. You will be the next Tsaritsa of Russia, Alisa. You want to be a good Queen now, do you?” His tone turned darker with every word. His eyes were almost black. Alisa nodded, her whole form shaking. 
“Y-Yes, sire.” 
“Then, get rid of this scum and let him bleed to death on the floor as a reminder to anyone who dares try to do something of this nature.” Alisa took the sword in her hands, clutching the hilt of the sword, as she walked up to the men. She prepared to strike him, pausing for a moment, turning to look at her father. The familiar prickling, burning sensation of tears. Ivan relaxed in his seat nodding once. 
“You know what to do. Don’t disappoint me.” Alisa knew all too well what that meant. If she did not do as he asked, he would abuse her, beat her until she had a bruise and bled, as punishment. She turned around to face the man, shutting her eyes once. 
“Please God, forgive me.” She stabbed the man fatally in the stomach, a bloodcurdling scream of agony breaking through her lips. 
Alisa shot up from her bed, gasping for breath. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, rocking herself back and forth, burying her face in between her legs, trying to breathe. Every single time, the dreams of her father and her life in the Russian Court plagued her. Every nightmare was worse than the ones she had before. She wished they would go away, but they did not. Alisa raised her head up, taking a gulp of air, as she tried to calm herself. The sun was just about to rise, and the sky seemed to be clear. Outside, a few birds were chirping their usual wake-up call. Alisa managed to drag herself out of bed and slip out of her chambers. She did not know exactly where she was going, her mind was in a complete daze as she walked. But somehow, her body knew exactly where she wanted to be at the moment, as she paused in front of Francis’s room. She knocked on the door shakily. 
“Enter.” Francis’s voice was inviting and very much awake. Alisa opened the door and walked inside. She let out a breath of relief as she saw him; she departed to her chambers early that night and did not even encounter him after his triumph over Tomás. She approached him slowly with a slight smile. 
“They told me you came back without a scratch last night. Are you alright?” Francis smiled warmly. 
“Thanks to you. You saved Miguel from a terrible fate. Mary told me everything that has happened when you left for your room.” 
“And you saved Mary’s life, by killing Tomás.” Alisa reminded him quietly. 
“It was a teamed effort, and I am glad it was,” Francis told her, “The two of us accomplished a good thing together, and I want more of that in the future when we rule side by side as King and Queen, working together.” The young Tsaritsa nodded once, before looking down. Francis managed to catch her bottom lip quivering violently. “Alisa?” He pressed his hands on her arms to get her attention and realized just how much she was shaking. “What’s wrong?” He gently tilted her chin up, watching her closely. Alisa swallowed a lump down her throat. 
“It’s a nightmare.” She barely whispered the words. “I have them every night. They won’t stop, Francis. They just won’t stop.” Francis cupped her face in his hands, stroking his cheek, his face overcome with worry. 
“It’s gone,” He murmured, “The nightmare that you had is gone.” Alisa shook her head slightly, tears that she has been holding back beginning to fall. 
“They happen every single time I close my eyes, it’s all I see,” Her voice began to crack, “I am back there, in Moscow again.” Francis was appalled at the way she spoke. He never has seen her like this, so broken, so helpless. She always spoke with a fondness about her room, he never imagined that it would be the place of her nightmares. It broke his heart and angered him, knowing that she was hurt so much like this. She did not deserve any of this. 
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“Idi ko mne.” (Come here). He spoke in her native tongue, pulling her close. He sank his hand in her dark strands, wrapping his strong arm around her waist. Alisa clutched onto him, her body pressed against him, seeking his warmth. She tried to fight it, but a loud sob rippled through her, and she hid her face in Francis’s shoulder. He began rocking her from side to side gently. “My God,” He whispered, tightening his grip upon her, “What did the Russian Court do to you?” Even when Alisa managed to retain control over herself, she could not pull away from him. Francis pressed soothing kisses on the top of her head. “I will never let anyone hurt you ever again. I will protect you with my life.” Alisa looked up at him, letting a small smile cross her lips. 
“I-I know. I feel safe with you.” She reached her hand to touch his cheek. “You are the only good thing that happened to me.” Francis kissed her palm multiple times lovingly. 
“I love you.” He told her softly, pulling away, simply taking her hand and guiding her to the bed. 
“What are you doing?” Alisa asked, but obliged, getting into the bed. Francis laid down beside her, tucking her in, pulling her close, so her back was pressed against his chest. 
“You need some more sleep. I will fight off bad dreams for you.” Alisa let out a shaky breath. 
“I don’t want to see---” Francis stroked her hair, his lips pressed near her ear. 
“Shhh.” He murmured quietly, kissing her lobe. “Don’t worry.” He let a small smile rest on his face in spite of the situation. “Just think in two days time, we will be married.” Alisa’s eyes widened and she turned to face him, with a soft gasp. 
“Two days?” She repeated in shock. Francis chuckled with a nod. 
“No one told me it was in two days!” She stressed. 
“Mother wanted to, but I wanted to be the one to tell you. You are going to be my wife.” Francis’s arms wrapped around her again, rubbing her shoulder. “And we will have two whole months to ourselves.” Alisa smiled serenely at that. 
“I want to take you to Kyiv. It is such a beautiful city in Poland. We own a palace there.” 
“And I would love to do that, as well. Now, that I am a Russian speaker.” He grinned a little, causing her to giggle. He sighed. “I will take you to Paris. And we will spend our days in the Louvre palace.” 
“Will we dance in the night?” Alisa whispered, beginning to feel a little drowsy as she rested her head against his warm chest. 
“Of course, my love. Get some sleep now and dream of Paris, just you and I.” Alisa smiled as she closed her eyes again, letting the darkness take over her. For the first time, her horrors were replaced with good dreams, of her and Francis dancing under the stars in the Louvre Palace. 
♖♖♖
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The following two days were the craziest ones, Alisa ever imagined. Granted the wedding planning was done for her, by King Henry and Queen Catherine, but there was still quite a lot of work to be done. Alisa and Francis could not see each other until the evening while they were preparing for the wedding. It was a sign of bad luck to see the groom before the wedding. Of course, Francis argued that he did not believe in such superstition, but Catherine disregarded his comments and sent him away. She fussed over Alisa, as did Katya, Natasha, and the other servants, making sure everything was perfect. The only problem was that Aaliyah was nowhere to be found. She was missing for a few days, and Alisa grew increasingly worried. However, this happened before; Aaliyah would disappear for a few days but return. This happened in Moscow, as well as France. Still, Alisa could not help but feel worried, but she tried to push the thought to the side. It was hours before the wedding, after all, and everything was going to be perfect. 
As Alisa’s new corset was being tied around her waist, (where she tried not to yelp in pain) the door swung open and a very flustered Aaliyah burst in. Everyone turned to look at her, a little startled. Catherine was not the least bit amused. 
“Good heavens, Lady Aaliyah, where have you been? Do you realize that it is nearly time for Alisa and Francis to be wed?” She demanded. Aaliyah barely heard what she said. Her eyes fell upon Alisa, as she rushed over to her. Her face was a mess, her eyes had dark-circles in them. She looked dreadful. 
“Alisa, I need your help.” She whispered urgently. Alisa’s eyes locked on hers strangely. 
“What happened?” She asked calmly, lifting a hand, causing Katya to stop fixing the corset and listen to her distraught friend. 
“It’s Bash... I can’t find him anywhere. The guards told me that he was not in the castle, and I left to find him. I looked in the village, beyond the castle walls. I can’t find him.” She whispered frantically. Alisa’s eyes filled with concern. 
“Bash will be back. I am sure of it. It’s not the first time he left. He has always gone to the Bloodwood, left for an adventure.” She told Aaliyah assuringly, who shook her head at that. 
“No, you don’t understand. He is gone, and I am worried for good,” She walked up closer to Alisa, dropping onto her knees before her, “He left with Mary, and it has been days since he had returned. Since they both have. Please, I am begging you, please help me.” She was close to tears. Alisa did not say anything for a moment, before turning to Natasha. 
“Untie me and hand me my dress.” Everyone looked at one another, before turning to the Tsaritsa in shock. 
“Alisa, we don’t have time, we have to get you ready---” Katya began exasperatedly. 
“For the wedding, I know.” Alisa interrupted, already heading towards her wardrobe and changing. “But this is far more important. If Bash is with Mary, I have to find them both and demand an answer. Why would the two of them escape France together?” She came out, fully dressed in her usual garments. “Besides, I fear that if we do not find the two of them soon, this will prove to be problematic. I have to find Francis.” She turned to Aaliyah. “Tell him to meet me in the garden.” Aaliyah nodded, murmuring her gratitude under her breath, as she rushed out of the room. 
“You can’t!” Catherine sputtered, shaking her head at the young Queen, walking towards her. “My dear, your wedding is in three hours, seeing him now will prove to bring bad tidings in the future.” Alisa sighed deeply. 
“I must. He knows Bash better than anyone. He would be the only one to find him. I am afraid the wedding will have to be postponed until we sort this out. And Henry will agree to this. He loves Bash more than his other sons.” Alisa smiled a little, before walking out of the room after Aaliyah. She rushed downstairs, heading outside. Within no time at all, she saw Francis and Aaliyah heading to meet her. 
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“I have just heard what happened.” He took Alisa’s hand as he entered. “Bash and Mary are gone, and nobody saw them.” Alisa nodded. 
“I know this seems absolutely ridiculous, but I worry for Bash. Mary is absolutely unpredictable, and no matter, how many times we tell ourselves that she has changed, I just have a bad feeling about her, and I don’t trust her.” Alisa confessed. Francis sighed. 
“I suppose we should find them, and once we are certain that everything is perfectly fine, we can continue on with our wedding.” Francis decided, before turning to Aaliyah. “Ask one of the guards to prepare my horse.” 
“And mine as well,” Aaliyah nodded and rushed out, as Alisa met Francis’s surprised face, “Don’t look so shocked. If you are going to find them, then, I will come with you. Bash is not just your brother. He is the man that Aaliyah loves, and by God’s name, I will give him a piece of my mind.” 
♖♖♖
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The two had ridden for a long while without stopping for a break. Every moment that passed, Francis was getting more and more concerned. He had no idea what was Mary’s plan in all this, and he was getting frustrated. Alisa, in the meantime, could not help but wonder why would Bash agree to her demands. Was he so besotted with her that he felt the urge to run away? Bash was in love with Aaliyah, Alisa was sure of it. Even if he showed a very poor job at showing it, the Tsaritsa had faith in him. 
“We are running out of time.” Francis quietly spoke, breaking away her thoughts. “I am starting to think that the two are not even in France anymore.” Alisa frowned softly. 
“Bash is a traveler, but why would he go with Mary? This day just keeps getting more and more uncanny.” Alisa murmured slightly to herself. She sighed, smiling ever so slightly, “To think we escaped our very own wedding for this. It’s not even bringing us anywhere.” Francis chuckled. 
“True,” He murmured before he gazed around the woods, “Let us try going to the neighboring village. Perhaps, they have taken refuge there.” Alisa sighed and nodded. 
“If nothing, we shall go back home.” She conceded, before picking up the reins of her horse. A small and mischievous smile broke through her lips. “I’ll race you.” Before Francis had a chance to respond, she squeezed her horse gently, kicking her lightly, before breaking off into an easy canter. Francis gazed at her for a moment, before smiling widely and going after her. Alisa closed her eyes, beginning to laugh breathlessly as she raced against him. The young Russian woman had a wild and free spirit swirling around her, and she loved the thrill that she was feeling. For a brief moment, the two forgot the whole world, their troubles, French Court, Mary, everything, as they galloped. Once they have reached the village, Alisa opened her eyes, her laugh fusing with Francis’s. The two paused their horses to catch their breath. “Amazing.” Alisa managed to breath out. Francis moved his horse slightly, so he would be closer to her. Holding his reins with one hand, he let his knuckles graze down his fiance’s cheek. 
“You never cease to enchant me, Alisa.” He murmured. Alisa watched him, beginning to smile softly, closing her eyes at his touch and catching his hand on the side of her face, kissing it. 
“I’m so glad I chose to come to French Court.” She whispered. Francis smiled at her gently. 
“Best idea you have ever had.” He consented with a little laugh. They moved to go deeper into the village, before they heard footsteps. Francis’s hand instinctively went on his sword, as Alisa very visibly tensed. They both relaxed as they saw it was Aaliyah, rushing towards them. She was flushed and anxious. 
“The guards found Mary and Bash,” She bit her lip, “They were together in an abandoned house. King Henry had Bash thrown in prison, while he is about to question Mary. You need to come and witness this.” Alisa looked over at Francis, who felt his jaw tighten. He knew whatever would go down would not end well. Alisa could not stand watching the conflicting pain in his eyes, and she reached her hand to touch his. 
“Francis,” He looked up at her, “It will be alright. I will be standing by your side. We will be together, no matter what Mary decides to throw at us.” Francis nodded quietly, his worries numbed slightly, and he squeezed his hand before pulling back. 
“Lead the way, Aaliyah.” He ordered her quietly. Aaliyah nodded firmly, turning her head and kicking her horse. Francis and Alisa galloped after her, all the while wondering what was going to happen. Alisa was right; today was certainly a day of strange occurrences.
A/N: hello, hello, hello, my lovelies! i am so sorry this is all very late, ugh. but i am inspired very much to continue this. and lots of shit is going to go down, very fair warning. i will be working on the next chapter, it will just take a bit until i post again. i love you all, thank you for reading! ❤️😘
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