arataholic

[soullessjack]

unstoppable force (desire to post about how pretty and gorgeous jack is) vs immovable object (knowing it will flop because everyone is still under the shared delusion that he’s a baby) vs unstoppable force (needing to express how absolutely beautiful and lovely he is anyways) vs immovable object (ingrained notion that little to no traction renders my online presence worthless)

[nix-that-rad-lass]

I gotta be real, and I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I think trans men are the most valid men.

Women just do it better 🤷‍♀️

Plus since female is default I guess you could consider that FTM is much more of a biological capability than MTF.

Not to say you can change sex, but rather, I think that trans men are much better able to transition and pass, and having been raised and treated as women, tend to be more capable of empathy.

This is not to excuse the rampant issues of gender ideology or the medical mistreatment and abuse of dysphoric women and girls.

[just-some-random-blogger]

The children would respect mama stark 😤

Daemon: FOR THE LOVE OF GODS STOP TRYING TO JUMP OF DANGEROUS PLACES

Y/n : ...children

Triplets : * stop and make a line from tallest to shortest by minutes *

Also i feel like aemond would have a big crush on her , he would be talking to one of her children like :

Ok ...the first one who gives me mommy's panties gets a ride with vaghar

MILF

[Blurb IV for the Stark!Reader Universe]

Aemond Targaryen & the Stark-Targaryen spawn + a hint of Aemond Targaryen x Stark!Reader [Daemon in the background be fucking quiet]

Summary: AWWW HERE COMES MY FAVORITE MILF

Word Count: >700

Warnings: Shitpost ahead (real), my a/n is longer than the fic (half real), I locked Daemon in the basement to write this AHHAHAHA (very real), crack fic, soft!aemond, aemond simping, and me simping for him, this is honestly pretty long for a blurb but whatever, fluff, typos, etc.

Blurb III Blurb V

A/N: THIS IS MY AUTHOR'S NOTE BECAUSE I'M WRITING THIS AND ADDING MEMES NO ONE CAN STOP ME THE WAY I CAVED SO QUICKLY FOR THIS MAN My reaction to your ask anon: 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

THE FACT YOU wILLINGLY BROUGHT UP AEMOND I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SAY SOMETHING ANYTHING ABOUT AEMOND AND MAYBE EVEN REQUEST SMTH AND IT IS NIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Also i don't know if you noticed bestie, but i set the start of daemon and stark!reader's relationship wayyyyyyyyyy before aemond was alive, cause Aemma was still queen when they got married. BUT FUCK CONTINUITY. IS AEMOND PROBABLY YOUNGER THAN HER KIDS??????????? ASHFA:FOAEW HAHAHHAHHAAHHAAHAHH MAYBE WTF but let's pretend it's totally canon that aemond is a grown ass adult when stark!reader gave birth because it took THAT long for their enemies to lovers to turn into fucking lovers LOLOLOLOL And i literally just answered an ask about how many kids they have and i was like 'idk i didn't even gender or name them' FUCK OFF NOW THATS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE i still didn't name them though because a;lsfhkalsfhahsfas The incest is real, i got so confused about how they were related to aemond Tagging: @deniixlovezelda @pinksirensong @nyctophilic0vitnir

"Company fall in," Aemond commands. He peers down at the blonde children, hands behind his back, jaw tense. His violet eye narrows, "where is your brother?"

The eldest by technicality answers, "which one?"

Aemond hums at the sass, "obviously the one that is not here."

The siblings look amongst themselves and decide it was one of the twins missing. The youngest of the triplets shrugs, "we don't know where he went."

"Clearly, you don't even care where he went. You will get in trouble with your mother if she hears of this."

"No," the second triplet answers, "you will, cousin."

Aemond's nose flares as he narrows his eyes yet again.

"Aemond," the only girl in the row raises her hand.

"Yes, my love?"

"My braid is falling out," she raises her blonde hair. The flowers Aemond had placed in it moments ago fall. Sequentially, her lip quivers and tears prick in her eyes.

"Oh no," "Don't cry," "It's okay," and things along this line are spoken by the little girl's infinite supply of brothers.

Aemond can only watch as the boys come upon her, picking up her flowers and trying to fix her hair.

"NO I WANT AEMOND TO FIX MY HAIR!" she whines, full on breaking into a sob.

The boys turn to their him in panic. Aemond swiftly picks the girl up in his arms.

"Right," he mutters to the boys as he rocks the child too soothe her. She latches onto him as Aemond continues, "have you lot retrieved what I asked you to?"

"No! They're truly lost!"

"They weren't in the drawers."

"Or the laundry."

"They're," poof sound, "gone for good!"

He hums, readjusting the girl in his arms to look at her, "well it seems no one will ride Vhagar today-"

OUTCRY.

"-and your sister and I," he turns to the boys once, "will busy ourselves with braiding."

She grins as she grips Aemond's cheeks in her tiny hand.

Aemond gives her a lopsided smile.

"Aemond," I call. My son, who had come to me in hopes we find his siblings, releases my hand runs off to the rest of his brothers. "I see it is you who have been entertaining my children."

"MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

A stampede of children run up to my skirt. The girl in Aemond's arms wrangle away from him. Once she is released, she runs up to me, flashing her teary eyes and pout.

"Oh my dear, what has-"

"Her flowers fell."

"HE ruined her braid."

"I did NOT!"

"You did!!"

"Boys, that's enough," I quip.

"Aemond and I will braid hairs!" my little girl mutters amidst the chaos of her brothers.

"Ah," I lean down to her and caress her face. I straighten up when Aemond circles around the kids to come up beside me. I give him a look before turning down to the small blondes, "children, have you been heckling Prince Aemond for a ride on Vhagar again?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Your father will not be happy to hear about this."

"We were only helping him look for your knickers, mummy."

Aemond's blood stills.

"What?"

"There is a knickers thief!"

"Aemond is trying to catch him."

I turn to Aemond who offers a stoic look. He clears his throat and eyes me intently when he says, "the matter has greatly distressed the servants and I have been alerted by it."

"We can't find your knickers anywhere!"

"Because I don't have knickers," I retort to my son, "I do not wear them."

Aemond gulps roughly.

The boys look up at me and one asks, "why?"

"Well, that is a question for your father," I dismiss, cocking my head to the side, "come along. It is time to feed the wolves."

The children cheer, falling into conversation about their direwolves. I turn to Aemond, who was rubbing his temples, stressed by the noise I suppose. I watch as my daughter comes up to him and grabs his hand.

"Aemond, if you still wish to indulge my daughter, you may take her up the chambers while the rest of us head to the wolf den."

"But I want to see the wolfies too, mummy!"

Aemond chuckles airily, shaking his head, "then off to the wolfies."

"But you clearly seem distressed-"

"I assure you, my princess," Aemond reaches his hand out to me. I place my hand in his. He presses a kiss at the back of my hand, "no distress is possible in your presence."

I snort, rolling my eyes. I pull away, "you are such a boy when you tease me."

[nytehavyn-circle]

It's funny how many of the younger RPers online today go for canon muses. All of the older RPers online - anyone who is 40+ (some slightly younger) - grew up with Original Characters.

When I first started RPing on AOL in RP chatrooms, on AIM with 1x1 RPs, and in private chatrooms with group RP people - canon characters just weren't something that was played back then. (Not in my experience, anyway.) Most of us had never heard of anyone RPing a 'canon' character.

Canon RP characters didn't really start popping up and getting popular until a lot of fandom websites and such started popping up and getting really popular. Then RP chatrooms started getting filled with them, and a fuckton of RP message boards popped up (mostly fandom-based), filled with canon characters, and then canon characters started showing up EVERYWHERE.

Which was fine, and fun. Because for us OC players, it was very interesting to play our OCs against a canon character; expanding on world-building, figuring out how these characters fit together, etc.

Now, for me, personally (I can't speak for other older RPers), it wasn't until I came to Tumblr that I saw so many damned canon characters being played. I was honestly shocked. And to find out that a LOT of canon character RPers (and this bleeds over into this day) would shun RPers who played OCs.

I was very annoyed, but I found a niche of OC RPers and had fun with that. When I decided to try my hand at the possibility of playing a canon character, I went for Spike from Buffy/Angel. But he was basically used for shitposting and dash commentary, asks that were sent to him; he was used for funsies.

I ended up gaining over 500 followers on his blog, and was shocked by the amount of fan asks I got telling me how good I played him, that they could hear his voice in the posts, etc. This is not me bragging, this is me being utterly shocked and amazed that I, apparently, played a canon character so well that he gained a small fanbase. >_O I'm STILL shocked it happened, to this day.

So, I branched out with him and made him a fully-fledged RP character, one who grew over the years and changed a bit as I played him.

So, I KNOW I can RP a canon character. Some of them I can RP better than I can other canon characters, it just has to be a character that I can kind of connect with and understand, not to mention really, really like.

But, for me, and probably a lot of the older RPers, the real fun comes in creating a muse from scratch - from the bottom up, fleshing them out, creating a backstory that hasn't already been written for them; coming up with a personality all their own.

I am not disparaging those of you who play canon muses. A lot, a hell of a lot of you, are very, very good. Kudos to you on it, because some of you play canon characters I wouldn't dare try to play for fear of destroying the fantasy. For example. I wouldn't and couldn't be able to RP Steven Rogers/Captain America well. Not at all.

But, I will always prefer to play an OC - and so will a lot of the older RPers. And by that, I mean the older RPers who grew up with RP from table to online.

So, from one RPer to another, whether you be young or old... try to give OCs a chance, even if you've had a bad experience with one or two of them in the past. You might just find a decent OC that fits with your character and playstyle.

So don't give up on us (OC players and/or older RPers). We just want the same chance and respect that canon characters have been afforded.

Love to you all, whether you are young or old, whether you play a canon character or an OC. You are valued.

Be good. And have fun in the RPC. Because that's what it's about - Pure, unadulterated fun.

<3<3<3

[edennill]

If Tolkien characters had Tumblr blogs part 2:

part 1

Finduilas:

url: waitingtothewind

pfp: drawing of a fictional crush in pastel colours (babygirl fulfills her royal duty to exercise patronage over artists by comissioning reams of fanart lol)

bio: ✧˖･* princess finduilas of nargothrond :) ✧˖･* 47 ✧˖･* poetry appreciator ✧˖･* romantic at heart ✧˖･* girl of many fandoms ✧˖･* favourite animal: doggos ✧˖･* favourite food: strawberry juice ✧˖･* and if I had a voice that could make mountains melt I would walk over stars just to see how it felt ✧˖･*

title: ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

has a very pink custom theme with a fancy font. runs a fandom/aesthetic blog and stays clear of discourse. writes really good meta that is quite popular and poems that get notes in the single digits. doesn't really know how to deal with anon hate. participates in every tag game she comes across.

Maeglin:

url: keeps changing it between @molelol and @twilitdark because he likes small animals, but wants to sound edgy.

pfp: keeps changing it between a baby mole and the kind of very dark photo where you can't really see what it's supposed to be.

bio: M / not a minor

title: the dark under the trees

guards his personal info incredibly closely (a good practice, but how much of it is due to his father having been so controlling that he learned secrecy early on is up for discussion). rarely posts, mostly reblogs photos and shitposts. vaguely vents about his idril/tuor/gondolin/treason problems. when he gets into discussions with people he can be uncomfortably fierce, has sent anon hate on occasion.

Celebrimbor:

url: craftingsilver

pfp: red eight pointed star (default variation, not technically fëanorian) on yellow background

bio: older/younger than you think | look I've seen the Trees that's enough | Noldorin jewelsmith | male

title: time and soul, wrought and tempered

mostly posts and reblogs crafting tiktoks and tips, sometimes adds a dash of science, philosophy or something personal. has made a resolution to filter out any posts pertaining to his family on his dashboard and keeps to it almost till the end. shows a strong sense of humour and has gathered quite a following.

Idril:

url: celebrin-does-things

pfp: blurred photo of her with her back to the camera

bio: 500s - architect, wife and mother - everyone is welcome

title: "ammë, there's winter in my boots"

started off as a miscellaneous blog, but shifted to being mostly about Eärendil's shenanigans. she vaguely vents about maeglin/gondolin/cousin's treason sometimes, but still comes off as way more laid back than irl. hardly used her tumblr before her son was born and still treats it mostly as a place to document things he has said + a way to talk with like three treasured mutuals. the architect part in bio is mostly a ruse because she has only ever completed one or two projects but can hardly reveal she's a princess, can she? (before the fall of nargothrond if she got on tumblr it was to nag Finduilas to remove her personal info from bio hah)

@eri-pl, this is in part because you asked (a while ago, sorry), though I'm afraid I don't have much to say about all your suggestions. I prefer not to get into Sauron's headspace actually, but the idea of him having access to social media is horrifying lol. And Pharazon has all the worst characteristics of Reddit atheists, non-ironic modern white supremacists and racist trolls rolled into one with the added horror of the new unsavoury state cult. Míriel is not allowed a sim card🙁😬

also I'm just now realising I tagged a compatriot in something I wrote at 3 am so if you have time stamps on you now know my messed up sleep schedule and if you don't I've just told you lol but never mind.

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: wormweeb

our interviewee today is @wormweeb, author of the cowboy au, nominee in the 2020 MCYTblr election, and overall MCYTblr veteran. below is a transcript of the questions and answers!

Q: What do you remember most fondly about “Early MCYTblr”? (2020-2021)

A: I think early mcytblr had the perfect mix of being an insular, small community with enough people actually posting (whether it be shitposts, art, fix, etc.) to keep the community alive. Perfect reblogger-creator ratio, I think. I loved seeing the familiar notifications from blogs that frequently RBed my stuff and familiar Urls in the tags (which I probably checked daily lol). There was this infectious energy that made being in the fandom so fun, with all the inside jokes and interactions and inter-blog familiarity.

Q: Do you recall your experience in the first MCYTblr election? What was it like?

A: Honestly, there was a lot of anxiety. I didn’t have many friends in the fandom in the sense that I didn’t often DM with people or talk in discord servers. I was kind of reclusive, so having to reach out to find running mates was nerve-racking! And then being thrust into a huge discord server with a bunch of other people I didn’t really know at all… It was all bizarrely anxiety-inducing. I didn’t really care about the results that much, since it was kind just a popularity contest (no hate, just true). I think the elections were cute and fun, another sort of fandom activity that I think only could’ve worked in an insular but involved fandom.

Q: Building off the last question– in my time archiving, I’ve seen people both hold you in high regard and condemn your blog wholesale. Is it odd to be talked about as a pseudo-historical figure in MCYTblr culture? 

A: It’s mind-boggling! When I did all my posting as wormweeb, roughly July 2020 to august 2021, I was 16/17 and literally never left my house due to quarantine. It’s bizarre to think I was influential in that microcosm of a fandom, because I was truthfully just Some Guy irl. It was weird to see the extremes of how people treated me, with some users (much younger than me, I should add) treating me like a cc, with other people acting like I was a toxic supervillain.

At the time, I was deeply concerned with my image in the fandom. I reveled in the shocked reactions to some of my more… avant guard posts… but I was also really bothered when people talked badly about me. I wanted to be liked and popular, but I also wanted to be shocking and critical. I had contradictory motivations behind my posting, which I probably lead to such polarized reactions to my presence in the fandom.

Ultimately, I think it’s super interesting to see how people talk about me — whether they remember me as ‘that one crazy truthing blog’ or the cowboy au author or a proto-critblr poster or a toxic bad takes poster, etc. I don’t take any of it too personally any more, thankfully.

Q: Do you think that MCYTblr’s cultural shift away from crit and ‘truthing’ has been an overall good or bad thing? 

A: I can’t really say. I think it’s natural that as a fandom expands, the most palatable takes will become the dominant ones, and any unpopular criticism / trutherisms will be pushed to the fringe. I can see why some people thought criticism was toxic and truthing was intrusive, but truthfully, I don’t think it reflected any poster’s moral character. I’m not involved in mcytblr anymore, so I don’t know exactly what the state of the current fandom looks like.

Q: Do you ever find yourself missing 2020-2021 MCYTblr? If so, what do you miss the most?

A: I often do miss that era of my life. Truthfully, I miss the attention and (infinitesimally small, microcosmic) cultural import I had. There was an exciting thrill that came with getting notifications every second of the day — that’s not an exaggeration either. I liked having people leave deranged asks in my ask box, or ask my opinion on some random streamer micro controversy, or people asking me when the next chapter of my fanfic would come out (lol). I, of course, miss the other elements of being in an active fandom — the fanfics, the fan artists, the familiarity between blogs,

However… I also know I was mentally unhealthy during that time. I was isolated, so it was fun and exciting to be an ultra-micro celebrity, but at the same time, I took it way too seriously. Because I painted myself as some sort of moral guardian, the great Intellectual Critiquer of content creators, I was terrified to make any bad takes… which, ironically, I made a lot of. I had painted myself into a corner both being dteam critical and (unfortunately) a genuine dteam stan at the time.

Q: Several in-jokes have lost their context (jewge, ancap dream, tradwife george/dream, homophobic dream and sapnap, republican dream, mega milk sapnap/george, etc). Would you like to provide their context, for archival and media literacy purposes?

A: Here’s a rundown for all of them!

“Jewge” was actually sparked by warpedfungusonastick, which I helped popularized. There are a few old videos where George’s friends called him jewge, and that combined with his ashkenazi last name led me to speculate he was jewish — for what its worth, im also jewish. Unfortunately, I think those videos of baby jewge have been lost to time. But nonetheless, that spawned a mini-jewge fandom, which jewge fanart!

Tradwife George and dream… I don’t know even know. I think the idea of “male wives” was trending on general Tumblr at the time. There was already this fandom idea of Dream being a “needy top” and George being the sugar baby/bitchy/uninterested love interest, which I just transplanted onto the idea of tradwifery. Dream as the doting tradwife, George as the unloving tradwife, etc.

Republican/Anarcho-capitalist dream — Ah, this one is kind of embarrassing!! I was really into jreg, and I was, for the first time ever, exposed to political ideas outside of the generic democrat vs republican dichotomy. I was really fascinated by right-wing libertarian or “ancap” ideology, and I already saw dream as a kind of self-made capitalist success story. At least, that’s what he portrayed himself as. My critique of dream and calling him ancap/republican was kind of a baby’s first leftism moment for me… but I nonetheless think the jokes were mostly funny.

Homophobic dream / sapnap — They gave me republican vibes. Dream especially, with some of his older, unsavory tweets, reeked of edgy gamergate humor.

Megamilk sapnap — I didn’t really pioneer this one! I believe this was mostly a Tumblr user who I think was pandascanpvp, or it was Plates gayminecraftmen (or both).

I’ll use this opportunity to catalogue a few more obscure wormweeb-pioneered AUs.

Homestuck au! I think I imagined it as dream = dirk, George = Jake English. Colournotfound (rip gone but not forgotten) did so much of the sustaining of the au.

Scott Pilgrim au. Dream = Scott, George = Ramona. Fundy = envy. This one got fan art!

Q: What was your physical, mental, and emotional reaction when kaceytron pulled up your crit post on stream?

A: Baffled. Excited. God, I wish I had clipped it! I still have a screenshot. I desperately hoped she would read it to dream (who joined the stream later). That felt like I had peaked as a cc stan blog… having a C-list streamer pull up my post on stream. Literally google searching “dream queer baiting” because she didn’t even know what she was accusing him of, or how to support her argument.

Q: Is there anything else you particularly want to share or talk about? 

A: I was just want to say that although I don’t watch or support any member of the dteam any more, I still am proud of the cowboy au. It’s kind of a relic of the time (especially the gnf and Maya mxmtoon stuff). The general response to the fanfiction was… wow!! Everyone who commented on that fanfiction was so exceedingly kind. People even drew fan art. I am still happy to have written something that, despite the inherent cringeness of it, positively affected so many people.

[writing-for-life]

Sandman Master Post and Intro

Hi, I’m so glad you’re here! This started out as a small blog but has developed a horrifying (^jk) life of its own over the past two years, so it was about time I organised the links and tags to all my Sandman stuff for you to make it easier to find your way around.

I love getting asks, about analysis, about my fics, prompts or generally just to chat, so see this as an encouragement to slide into my inbox…

[For quick reference:]

[The Ultimate Sandman Character Tag Library]

[The Women of the Sandman Tag Library]

[Sandman Comics: Original Artists Library]

[Sandman Reread (Comics)]

[Sandman Rewatch (Netflix)]

[Sandman S2 News, Casting and Speculation]

[Sandman Reference: How to Collect the Comics, Companion Books, Annotations/Reference Literature etc]

[In Light of Recent Allegations]

Ordered by topics (recommended):

Sandman Meta-Analysis (general "sandman meta"-tag, also contains contributions to other people's posts. My analyses are grouped into literary/conceptual/psychological, musical and art, and I definitely recommend perusing both links and the main tag)

The Sandman Book Club Community: Just follow the link if you’d like to join

Sandman Fics (m/f and f/f, both OC and canon pairings) & Poems

I’m also Dream’s Therapist. I think we all agree he needs one

Sandman Art (general tag that contains all art posts. I have also grouped them into my own art and art of others). Separate tag for official Sandman artists

Sandman March Mania was an event we specifically ran for the comics art lovers, so check it out

Sparkle Content Curation (a not-quite-serious collection of Dream/Morpheus thirst-trap fan-art and unhinged posts). Please also peruse the tags #contraceptive sparkles, #glitter herpes and #murphy and his cool hat (yes, I am sort of responsible for the #muhulhu tag on here) if this hell-site has left you in a state of being desperate for laughs

A Little Intro…

…and why this blog will keep on existing

Once there was a girl with so many words, so many images, so many songs in her head that had no place to go. So she decided some of them will just go here…

Well, that sounds a bit contrived, but it’s not entirely untrue. Apart from the “girl”-part, because I’m at the younger end of Gen X. Or the “no place to go”-part, because some of my work actually *did* go places. Just not the stuff I decided to put on here…

Which is mostly Sandman stuff right now, let’s be honest (I fell in love with it when I was 16, and it still has a tight grip on me three decades later). And the fact that my blog a wild mix between my metas, my fanfic and a bit of my doodling already shows the pull in different directions I have experienced for most of my life:

I’ve worked in science/academia, creative/performing arts and mental health. I guess I’m just a multi-hyphenate who can’t make up her mind what she wants to do with her life, so she tries to do it all and ends up burned out half of the time.

Somewhere along the way, I managed to publish a few novels under a pen name, and only a select few people know about it. And I intend to keep it that way.

I used to draw much more (mostly pencil and ink), but between working and having a family, something had to give, and if I have to choose, writing always comes first. But I doodle and experiment a lot in Procreate, and it usually helps me when I procrastinate on my writing. I drop the odd drawing in here (like my profile pic), but I don’t see myself as a fine artist, and I’m in perpetual awe of the talent I see on here.

This is just an account for unapologetically being me, with all my hyperfixations—and undoubtedly some pointless shitposts just for fun…

In light of recent happenings, I explained my personal stance and, by extension, why this blog will keep on existing.

[dangermousie]

Tagged by @tavina-writes

1. why did you choose your url?

This nick and my icon is all the way from Farscape forums back in early 00s. I picked it because I enjoyed the Dangermouse cartoons.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

I made dangermousie2 in the event the main one gets banned or there is some other issue, but I don't use it. I am old enough that I started when people didn't have theme/sideblogs and that's how I roll.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

2011? 2012? I am a LiveJournal refugee who first got an account when LJ started being unreliable but only switched in a meaningful way when I got into Spartacus and all the fun fandom was here.

4. do you have a queue tag?

Nope. Impulse control and planning, what's that?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I first got LJ back in 2005 (I think) because a cousin got me into it; I was posting about things like books and Bollywood and Star Wars then. And then here I am all these years later.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Fits my user name. A very kind person made it for me back on long defunct Farscape boards back in 2003/2004.

7. why did you choose your header?

I don't have anything there, it's whatever tumblr gave me.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

I have NO idea how to find it out tbh. But it might be:

9. how many mutuals do you have?

No idea how to check.

10. how many followers do you have?

6581

11. how many people do you follow?

2565

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Nope

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Way way way too often.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Yes. I am a lot less likely to do so now but when I was younger and more impulsive, oh yes.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

You say that, I will not reblog and will likely block you to boot.

16. do you like tag games?

Sometimes.

17. do you like ask games

Sometimes.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I have no idea. Thankfully we are largely past the era of BNFs and I am glad for that.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

I am waaaay too old for that question. No.

20. what is the last song you listened to?

ТІК & Ірина Білик - Не цілуй

21. what are you currently watching?

I have a pinned post about that but a bunch. My faves out of the airing stuff I am watching are Love in the Desert, Black Out and Iron Family.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

I have no spice tolerance so the other two.

23. what is your current relationship status?

Married. To a man who is OK with listening me describe Wu Chang Jie to him in excruciating detail so def a keeper.

24. what is your current obsession?

Lust in the Dust (iykyk), Cass Morris' Aven Cycle, coffee.

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

no idea, it changes.

Tagging @aysekira @silviakundera @renewedmotionforjudgment @fake-married-my-dead-fiance and anyone else who wants to

[rohirric-hunter]

Tagged by @a-lonely-dunedain to plug OC names into this heacanon generator and see if it fits.

Léonys:

Léonys doesn't own a single pair of matching socks.

Okay, so in actuality no, Léonys has lots of pairs of matching socks and is actually pretty neat about her clothes and stuff when she's at home. BUT I can see this becoming one of those annoying widely-accepted fanon headcanons in direct contradiction to canon because 95% of the time the reader is exposed to her in a, "Has been living in the woods for 3-8 business days, has not spoken to another human being in almost a week, ate bark that was still attached to the tree, laid flat on her back with her mouth open while it was raining to get a drink (for fun)," kind of state, or the many stages of breakdown I dragged her through in Léonys of Rohan. I think if my stuff had a bigger following a lot of people would have trouble reconciling that Léonys with the way she acts when she's, like, in a house.

Léonys does not know what sleep is.

She really does not LMAO. Take a nap, girl

Léonys is smart but also very stupid.

I mean this one's vague enough that it could apply to basically anyone I think. Which means it's a winner! Léonys figured out, on her own, within a few days of properly meeting him, that Aragorn was the heir of the old kings. She also got involved in all that because she saw brigands with hostages and was like, "Go and get help? Tell the town guard? Involve the other hunters? Nah! I'll just follow them! :) and take care of it myself :)."

Léonys crashed a riding lawn mower into their fence.

Absolutely not the ride-on lawnmower goes nowhere except where she told it to go. The ✨🌟🤗🐎💖bond ✨🌟🤗🐎💖 that exists between the Rohirrim and their horses ride-on lawnmowers

Hathellang:

Hathellang is a cry baby.

I mean I guess it depends on what about. This also sort of sounds like a headcanon made up by someone who doesn't actually like the character, so, you know. Subjective. I don't think so. But there's not a lot I would label crybaby anyway.

Hathellang has a roblox account.

Disclaimer: I've never played Roblox. But yeah, I feel like he has one. He used to play a lot more than he does now. But that was years ago. These days no one knows he has it except for Léonys. But sometimes when one of the other kids complains that someone was too mean to them on Roblox he logs on and, well, see,,, if the offender didn't have bannable offenses to work with already then suddenly,,,,, mysteriously,,,,,,,,, they start committing bannable offenses. For literally no reason whatsoever, they must have just felt like it, suddenly. Who knows! Anyway, reported.

(I.E. Hathellang would be a holy terror on the internet, somehow able to talk the trolls into getting themselves banned while only barely toeing the line himself. A power that could be used for good or evil. He uses it to back up his kid siblings on disagreements over the Walmartland makeup obby.)

Hathellang believes in Santa.

He does not! But he's really dedicated to keeping the Santa Experience alive for the younger kids. Also I feel like in a modern AU he'd be super into the Santa Clause movies.

Belharen:

Belharen is afraid of doing anything without their parent's permission.

Belharen is involved in the plot because she ran away from home. Without her parents' permission. That doesn't mean she's not afraid of doing things without her parents' permission. But she still does them.

Ferelin:

Ferelin is tumblr famous.

Oh my god yes. Spot on. IDK what I can add. His shitposts are legendary. Made a new friend. Have informed him that I do not know what a roof is. Think he has little enough knowledge of the Shire that this should fly with him. Eager to see how this plays out. Update: Friend in question visiting my house right now as we speak. Made comment about the roof. Think he remembers what I told him when we first met. Except funnier, probably, IDK. I wonder what his URL would be. He casually refers to his improbable and near-miraculous ability to heal basically anything by singing to it very stubbornly and people think it's some kind of extended bit. He lets them think so because they started to come up with theories about it and it's kind of funny.

Dahlia:

Dahlia knows fnaf lore.

Probably, lol. I feel like she wouldn't play the games, though. I've never played them, this is vibes-based. She just knows the lore. For some reason. Maybe she watches hour-long YouTube videos breaking it down to relax.

And because I've been thinking about her recently some Pegweneth:

Pegweneth instinctively cleans messes in their own house as well as other peoples.

Pegweneth judges people for having messes in their houses TBH. Privately. In her head. She does not clean them. Her house is not clean.

Pegweneth knocks people over by hugging them.

If she knows them very well and is confident they're okay with it.

Pegweneth is not good with social cues.

She knows what they are. She just thinks they're stupid she's above them she responded to them appropriately when she really didn't.

Hmmm, seems like a lot of people I would normally tag in these things have been tagged already. I know many people with OCs and I know that many of them dislike this sort of fandom/headcanon stuff. Open invitation to do it if you want to?

[scoobydoodean]

Hello,

first of all, your blog is amazing! I love that you always have evidence for every “claim” that you make, everything is so well thought through. and so much of the way that I now understand the supernatural characters comes from you. 

One thing that I noticed about, and this is not like a new take or anything, but people in the fandom, especially Deancrits treat Dean like parents treat their oldest children. (obviously, as an older daughter, I can only speak from my own experience, also my sister is five years younger than me, so we have a similar age gap to Sam and Dean, not that I want to compare us to them. To put it mildly, if my sister went to hell, I’d make sure she stayed there.l ) 

But yeah, it’s this: don't raise your sibling, but if they do anything wrong it is your fault. Don’t tell them what to do, but also tell them what to do, but only if we want you to. Also you are just magically supposed to know when that is the case and when not. (As with Dean, everything he does is so “controlling” and of course, everything that Sam does wrong is also his fault, because of reasons) 

And then there’s this thing that you just can not be mad at your sibling, no matter what they do and the way they treat you is also your fault, because you don’t show them enough love/are too mean/too emotionally stunted… (The same way that people completely freak out when Dean is reasonably mad at Sam for like two episodes in a row)

It’s this narrative of you: are the older one, so you have all the responsibility, even though you are either a) a child as well, or b) your sibling is also a grown up. It’s soo inconsistent as well, like what do you want from him? 

Yeah, this isn’t really well out to getter, but I hope you understand what I am trying to say? 

<3 I get you yeah—I think you'll like these two tags: #parentification and one I started using more recently: #family chains. This mail might have been prompted by this post but if not, I think you'll like this one. You should have seen the meltdown that occurred over my shitpost uquiz last year where one of the questions was whether Dean was responsible for Sam drinking demon blood jdhbfjhbsdjhbf.

There's definitely a dynamic in the show that is heavily mirrored in the fandom, where Dean is "damned if he does, damned if he doesn't". No one will ever be pleased with him. He's not nurturing and loving enough, or he's smothering, and there is zero middle ground. Fans want him to "end the toxic codependency", but have zero concept of 1) what that even means 2) how everyone in the show feeds into it 3) how their own comments about Dean being fully or largely responsible for that dynamic reveal their own issues in perceiving Dean as more responsible for everything negative that happens to him and everyone else as a function of his own childhood neglect.

And not only are many fans prone to treat Sam as Dean's vulnerable minor brother-son, but people are prone to treat Cas that way as well, based on their perception of Cas as a billion year old baby who fell in love with Dean and then chose to fall which makes him Dean's infant son for the rest of time whose decisions are also Dean's fault just like Sam's. When I get really salty about this, I've been known to get uh... pretty creative.

[starlightstare]

Hiiiiii I love your posts about the cheonliang fam (mostly Vin and Mary uwu) do you have any more headcanons about them?

Thank you! Most of the time, I'm just shitposting. I didn't think anyone would enjoy the things I post. Anyways, here are the headcanons I have:

Mary and Jewoo's parents are friends and therefore they also became friends by default.

Back when they were younger, Jewoo was the one who introduced Mary to Hyungjae, Taebong and Wooseok. He originally did it to scare them, too. They were teasing him relentlessly and you know how kids sometimes go, "keep talking and I'll call my bro to beat you"? Yeah, that's basically what happened. He got so annoyed that he said he'll be calling the Mary Kim to teach them a lesson. Thus the start of a beautiful friendship.

Word of Seongji living in the mountains got out and parents used his name to scare children. Mary, sick and tired of being called an elephant, retaliated by mocking them for being weak and said that if they're brave and strong, they should go up the mountain and steal something from the 'monster'. She teased them for days and them being the stupid, little preteens that they were, took the bait. Mary didn't think they would (she's also scared of the 'monster') and decided to follow them, saying that she only wanted proof that they stole something from the monster when in fact she's worried something might happen to them. They went back and forth for days; them stalking Seongji but none of them made a move to 'steal' from him. They want to prove that they're badass. But everyday, when they climb the mountain and see Seongji, they just freeze up. It got to the point that they all started pointing fingers on who should steal.

“ You do it.”

“No, you do it.”

“Why do I have to?! I have heavy footsteps, he'd hear me from miles away.”

“You're right, Wooseok should go.”

“Huh?! Mary should go! It was her idea. And she's the thief here.”

“I'm the one who challenged you, you dumbass cowards.”

“Jewoo, you go—”

They shove Jewoo forward and Seongji got so fucking tired of hearing their not-so-hushed whispers everyday that he just confronted them.

Seongji was the one who gave Mary a bandana. I like to think he has a soft spot for her not because she's a girl but because he knows how it feels to be ostracized for his physique. During one of the moments where Mary admits to feeling insecure, he grabber a bandana and puts it on her hair, saying that she looks pretty. She tried to pass the bandana wearing style to Sujin but... Y'know. Even after years, Mary kept wearing bandanas in Seonji's memory.

Sometimes, Jewoo thinks of what would have happened if they didn't meet Vin. He imagines that Seongji would be alive and they would all be eating in the mountains, hunched around the fire. He thinks of what future they could've had if Vin Jin didn't appear. But the happy memories with Vin Jin and Sujin overpowers those thoughts. He can't help but wonder, though.

I'd like to believe that Mary only joined judo because that's the only thing she thinks she'd be useful for. Her peers bullies her for being chubby, her parents are die-hard believers of the infant god she has doubts about, no one tries to approach or befriend her. She's alone and she doesn't fit in. She doesn't fit in cheonliang's beauty standard either so what does she do? Put all her weight and strength into learning how to fight. At least in judo, she's the best. She's appreciated.

During their youth, Taebong challenges Mary on a daily basis and always gets his ass beat. The boys thinks it's entertaining how everyday starts with, “MARY KIIMMMMMMMM, FIGHT ME." They even made bets on how long his shouts would be. Wooseok won often because he seems to miraculously know how many seconds Taebong ought to drag Mary's name. The longest one was 37 seconds when Taebong bellowed a long 'Maryyyyyyy—’ for 30 seconds straight. He got detention for the disturbance.

They liked to play pretend when they were little. Mary wanted to play as the princess but they always made her the dragon and them the knight. In return, before the 'knights' could even fight the 'dragon', she ends up chasing them around. They did play pretend as a family though. Jewoo's the dad, Wooseok's strangely the mom (Mary wanted to play mom but thought it was hilarious that Wooseok's the mom) and the rest are the children. Wooseok's first course of action was to ground them all.

[suliscool]

Amnesia: The Bunker Updated Lore - why does Augustin Lambert look older in his prewar photo? (spoilers!)

Often times when analysing the traumatic effects of war on soldiers, a theme will emerge -- people tend to look much older than they actually are after the war ends. Hundreds of before and after photos, only a couple years apart, yet the men in them are barely recognisable ever since they have endured such horrors. Much more thought was put into the effects of prolonged conflict on civilians and participants starting with the first half of the 20th century, hence why it is often explored in media concerning WW1 and WW2. When I initially picked up the game, I quickly noticed how clean, calm, collected, healthy and ~smooth~ Augustin looked in the pre-trench photo with Henri. Then I contrasted this with his in-game model. His dirty complexion, greasy hair and traumatised look all stood out to me in contrast to this photo. He actually looked around the same age as in the game. Supposedly, he would end up looking much more worn out and old later on.

New Lambert seems to contradict this phenomenon. The Great War appears to have rejuvenated him, changing his appearance, from that of your weird uncle, to an actually younger looking man, just with a thousand yard stare. Why is that? Well, I might have an explanation. Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between, I believe that Lambert is no man. Perhaps he was once human, but that was before he acquired the ability to live forever. I think that with each successful prank, each friend infected with lice and each barmaid incident caused, he becomes younger. As seen in the new photo of him and Henri, oh, he has gone without being silly for far too long. Slowly turning into a raisin, or worse, he knew he had to go to the place of ultimate whimsy, that being the front of war.

Augustin Lambert could've kept himself alive for centuries more, using his revolutionary method of extracting and absorbing vitae by shitposting but, alas, things went awry. The devil he had made a deal with did not let him off so easily. The condition had been broken. Lambert's pranking streak was suddenly shattered when he had not pissed in anyone's flask for, perhaps even, two days. When Henri found him in that pit, it was already too late. Augustin was now undergoing the transformation into his true form. With plenty of time to think, the many layers of irony were peeled away, and Lambert remembered his roots. At the end of those days, all that remained was the Beast, attempting to rejuvenate itself by blood and gore, if it cannot do so through goofy antics. As many YouTube pranksters have taught us across the centuries, killing your friend is the final prank. Lambert clearly took it to heart as he executed multiple dozens of french guys.

-- sul

for all my brothers and sisters in autism, this post is ironic

[cyberphuck]

ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE ABRIDGED: PART FOUR

My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about the Farseer Trilogy, but doesn’t want to have to read the books, so I’m summarizing it for them!

 EDIT: Halfway through Jhaampe I start calling “The Big Turnip” the “Big Onion” instead and I can’t be arsed to fix it.

Read Previous Entries!

 Alright Bastards and Old Bloods, this is it: the final entry and JUMBO-LENGTH conclusion to Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged!

 - Excerpt from Chade Fallstar's private writings, Grune 28th, 1497:

Dear Diary, the other day we caught a little zombie-Forged girl and I've been keeping her in a jar with a stick and a leaf. If I shake the jar, she talks. She knows who she is and who her family is, and she also knows a lot of swear words. I gave her some bread when she wasn't hungry and she said "shove it up your ugly ass." I tried to teach her a trick and she bit me. I decided to send her to live on a farm upstate along with Chivalry and Prince Regal's mom.

 Love, Chadey.

 While Chade has been playing Jane Goodall with Forged people, Fitz has been very busy being an alcoholic. One evening, Chade calls Fitz up into his wall-hole and says "It's time for you to stop being a drunk and for the readers to remember who Prince Verity is."

 "Why is there a hay bale in the corner of your--"

 "Prince Verity is Chivalry's younger brother and currently King-in-Waiting for the throne," the Fool says, lounging underneath the hay bale. "That makes Prince Regal next in line after Verity. Just so you know."

 "Right," Chade nods. "Fitz, your job from now on is to hang out with Verity in his Fortress of Solitude and do whatever he wants you to do."

 "I'm fourteen," Fitz says.

 "Don't argue with me, boy, I've got a wedding to plan. By the way, did you ever figure out who tried to kill Burrich?"

 Fitz shrugs. "I figured somebody tried to kill him because he's Burrich."

 "Ah yes, the age-old solution of 'things just happen, what the hell," Chade rolls his eyes. "Well, go on, shoo. Go bother Verity."

 Sighing, Fitz climbs thirty-nine flights of stairs to where Verity is sitting in his empty tower room and staring out the window. "Breakfast, your highness," Fitz announces.

 "Ew," Verity moans.

 "There's also a cup of tea with enough caffeine in it to kill some sort of very big gray trumpet animal," Fitz offers.

 "Yeah, okay, I'll take that."

 "So, uh," Fitz says, standing there awkwardly as Verity drinks an amount of stimulant that should make his heart explode, "watcha doin up here?"

 "Defending the kingdom."

 Fitz looks out the window at the ocean. He looks back at Verity. "Like... with a gun?"

 Verity smiles softly. "Oh, you're stupid. I like that in a person I'm going to use as a tool for the rest of my life."

 "I like you, too," Fitz says, tail wagging.

 "I'm using the Skill to confuse the Vikings so they won't raid our shit and turn our people into zombies," Verity explains. "I'd ask Galen's Skill students to help but they're pretty useless. Hey, didn't Galen teach YOU how to Skill?"

 "Oh, he tried but I'm bad at it, it's because I'm a basta-- HHHHGGGHHGHGHHGHHHHHH KEPPET.EXE HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO GHHHGH TROJAN DETECTED TAKE ACTION TO PREVENT GHHGGHHHH HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA CLICK HERE TO CHAT GHHGHGGGHHHHHH"

 "Huh," Verity says after thoroughly mentally assaulting Fitz without warning or permission. "Looks like someone used the Skill to convince you you were bad at Skilling. That’s just one of the many things the Skill can do that I will reveal to you whenever I feel like it, which will usually be AFTER you need to know.”

 "I think I need an adult," Fitz whimpers from the floor.

 Verity chuckles fondly. "I am an adult. Too bad I don't really have time to teach you to Skill properly. That probably won't come back to bite us. Run along now, stop crying. Oh, and see if Chade can get you to murder that gross noble two counties over."

 A few weeks later, at breakfast, Fitz tries to eat Coco Puffs as quietly as possible while Verity and Shrewd argue.

 "I don't WANT to get married," Verity says for the eighteenth time. "I've gotta keep sitting in the Martyr Tower and keeping Vikings from attacking us!"

 "Well guess what, bucko, I'm your father AND your king and if I say you're getting married then you fucking are!" Shrewd rage-butters a scone. "And I swear to Eda if you pull a Malicious Compliance like your older brother and marry the absolute worst candidate for queen you can find then I'll look the other way when YOU'RE assassinated too!"

 Fitz slowly reaches for the cereal box, eyes wide.

 "It'll be good for morale, Verity," Shrewd goes on. "Everybody'll be like, 'oh, if the Prince is getting married and pumping babies into some foreign woman then being murdered by Vikings really isn't that bad!'"

 "And who did Regal choose for me to be married to?" Verity asks.

 Shrewd looks at the smudged writing on his hand. "The Kraken," he announces.

 "You mean Kettricken?" Verity says. "The mountain princess? I'm like twice her age. And I don't have time to go to the mountains to grab her, Vikings will totally Vike you all while I'm gone!"

 "Well SOMEBODY'S gotta go up there and grab her," Shrewd insists.

 "Figure it out," Verity snaps as he storms out of the room. "And by the way, Fitz has been sitting there eating six bowls of sugar cereal because he has no adult supervision!"

 He slams the door.

 "Hi Grandpa Shrewd," Fitz says into the silence.

 "Hello, Lil Accident. Just so you know, Kettricken is only second in line to the mountain throne. First is her brother Rurisk, who took an arrow to the chest a couple years back and now is about to die from Being Poisoned to Get Him Out of the Way."

 "Yes Grandpa Shrewd.”

 Chade Spidermans down from the ceiling. "You're sending him and not me? Why?"

 "Plot reasons," Shrewd says, taking the cereal box away from Fitz.

 "Oh boy," Fitz says, jumping up. "I'm gonna go tell my friend the Fool!"

 The Fool's not in his room, but a bunch of other cool stuff is: every Lego set from 1973 onward, a bunch of those neon-colored ponchos from the 90's, Sudoku puzzles completed in ballpoint pen, and A BABY????

 Oh wait, that's a doll. Looks like a baby though. Weird.

 Next Fitz goes to visit Patience. Patience is sifting through an old jewelry box; she sits Fitz down so she can hold different things up to him and see how they look.

 "Hmm. No, too subtle... this one's too gaudy. Ah, yes, this one." Patience pulls out a black collar with the word DADDY on it in gold letters. "Yes, this is perfect. Put it on, Fitz."

 It's eventually decided that since Verity can't go to the mountains, Regal is going to be a stand-in at the wedding and then they'll have another wedding later when the Kraken comes down to Buckkeep. Fitz is loading up the horse-van for the journey when the Fool cartwheels up to him.

 "I have something for you," the Fool jingles.

 "I didn't go in your room and touch your doll or accidentally drop your seven thousand five hundred and forty one piece Millenium Falcon Lego set," Fitz blurts.

 "Take this Pepto Bismol," the Fool says, "and don't eat anything weird in the mountains."

 "Don't worry about me, Fool," Fitz laughs. "I'm sure nothing bad'll happen."

 Fitz goes on a road trip. August, Fitz's cousin and current member of the Skill Gang, is going with them to help Verity Skill-connect to the wedding when it's time. Hands the stableboy is also there, which is nice, because they're taking the I-5 to Jhaampe, the mountain capital, and there's not a lot to look at on the way. They travel through a lot of places that Fitz is just going to have to travel through again in two books while being chased by Regal, so all he really notices is that there's a shitton of grass, a bigass lake, and only one set of hot girls who want to give him and hands their first sexual experience (the girls' mom shows up and hits them with a sandal until they go home).

 The wedding party climbs into the foothills of the mountain kingdom, and there waiting for them are... the Vikings?

 Okay, so the group of seafaring raiders that I've been referring to as "The Vikings" are culturally sort of more like Mongol raiders. It's not really a one-to-one comparison but the important point here is that the mountain people are what we in the real world would typically imagine Vikings to be, except that here in the Six Duchies the Vikings are the Vikings and the mountain people only LOOK like Vikings, Fitz is Simba, Regal is Scar and I think the Fool is Horatio.

 Are we clear? Alright moving on.

 Fitz and co. are greeted by a welcoming party of mountain people, who are tall and pale and blond. They're super friendly and cheerful, singing the Songs of Their People and totally confusing Hands, who doesn't speak Mountain. Fitz doesn't speak Mountain either, probably. Maybe.

 They arrive in Jhaampe, where the buildings look like if you cut off the tops of the towers in Red Square or planted a bunch of turnips upside down. A second welcoming party pops up, and when August and his cronies complain that their feet are tired and they don't feel like walking anymore, the mountain peeps carry them into the city on planks. Fitz is extremely embarrassed by this and is trying not to cringe all the way down into his tights.

 To seem less like a lazy dick who makes strangers carry him places for no reason, Fitz strikes up a conversation with one of the old ladies carrying his plank. Her name is Jonqui and she knows a lot about the city, and slows the plank down so she can point out interesting landmarks and gardens.

 "Pull-Out Fail speaks good Mountain," she remarks, grinning. "Maybe he learned as a tadpole?"

 "I'm just super good with languages I probably grew up speaking," Fitz shrugs.

 They arrive at the biggest turnip, which serves as Jhaampe's royal palace. Jonqui escorts Fitz inside and he finds that it's not really a palace, it's more like a tent made out of a tree, with a lot of open space in the middle, and there's not a whole lot of private spaces that he might use to murder their prince.

 Whatever, he'll figure it out.

 "Come, Pull-Out Fail," Jonqui says, herding Fitz to a center stage. "We will watch our Shift Manager present his Shift Manager to be your Shift Manager."

 "Shift Manager?"

 "Yes, that is what we call our royalty. When someone comes to demand to speak to the person in charge, the Shift Manager is the one we have chosen to throw under the bus," Jonqui explains. "It is a very important duty."

 Besides King Eyod, who is an old person, there are two random mountain folk in white dresses. Fitz eyeballs them and wonders where the rest of the royal family is. "The girl one," Jonqui says, elbowing Fitz, "she is my niece."

 "Neat," Fitz yawns, still looking around for someone wearing a crown. "That other guy looks like He-Man."

 "Yes, he is my nephew."

 Gifts are exchanged.

 "This isn't going to be like that one scene in Midsommar, is it?" Fitz asks warily. "You're not going to like, set these people on fire?"

 "This," King Eyod announces, taking He-Man by the shoulder, "is my son, Shift Manager Rurisk, first in line to the throne of the mountain kingdom. And here is Shift Manager Kettricken, who shall marry the Shift Manager of the Six Duchies and become their General Manager, She Who Sets the Schedule."

 There is general oohing and ahhing and applause. Fitz realizes he's been chatting boredly with the King's sister this entire time. Why hadn't Regal sent any kind of message to the wedding party ahead of time to warn them that the mountain people liked to play Undercover Boss? No, Regal had just texted to remind them to bring his Gucci underwear, the dick.

 Jonqui drags Fitz over to meet Kettricken and Rurisk. "Kids, this is Pull-Out Fail Farseer," she says. "Now you go run along and play, and be back when the streetlights come on."

 "Yes, in our language we call him 'The Bastard' because he sucks," August chimes in helpfully. Rurisk glares at him.

 "Pull-Out Fail," Rurisk says. "I knew your father. And I spoke with him, on the day that he'd learned that he'd knocked up one of our people. He was a good man."

 "This joke is getting kind of old," Fitz says. "Listen, my name is Fitzchivalry--"

 "Oh, Fitzchivalry Farseer?" Kettricken brightens. "You poison people, right? Regal told me all about you and how you run around with Lady Thyme murdering people in the Six Duchies. It's so good to finally meet you!"

 "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Fitz replies articulately.

 "Come on," Kettricken says excitedly, "let's go to the herb garden. I heard you like herbs."

 On the way out to the herb garden, Fitz forgets that Kettricken knows he's an assassin and notices she has boobs, because he's fourteen. Together they get enthused about plants and shit, and they take a stroll around the herbs.

 "Taste this one, it's really weird," Kettricken says. "... What's that thudding noise? With a jingle? It sounds like someone's court jester is banging their head against a wall."

 "I hear that a lot," Fitz shrugs. "I usually just ignore it. You said to eat this plant I've never heard of? Mm, spicy!"

 "So," Kettricken asks as she stops a speeding train with one muscular arm, "what's my future husband like? Shift Manager Regal told me that he's really old and nasty and that he just sits in a recliner watching Fox News all day."

 "He's thirty two," Fitz tells her, mentally adding a dick to the big ol' bag that he wishes Regal would eat. "Verity is super nice, and funny, and he has fun hobbies and he likes animals. He's really handsome, too, he has gorgeous black hair and shining eyes and big broad shoulders and a really nice ass--"

 "So Shift Manager Regal lied to me." Kettricken frowns, biting her lip. "Does he lie about a lot of things?"

 "They hang people in my country for having an opinion on that," Fitz says.

 "Regal was six Jagerbombs deep one night and told me all about how you loved sneaking around and killing people," Kettricken confesses. "He said that if you showed up with the wedding party, it meant that you were here to poison my brother to get him out of the way and make me the heir to the mountains."

 "What haha that's weird what a weird thing to say haha," Fitz stammers, foaming at the mouth.

 Rurisk and Jonqui come running down the path to fetch Kettricken, telling her that there's a thing at the thing she has to do, remember that thing? And Fitz smiles and waves bye to them and then walks happily back to his room in the tree-palace and starts frantically digging through his stuff for the Pepto Bismol the Fool gave him.

 Rurisk bursts into the room at five the next morning, waving a bottle of Mountain Bismol. "Pull-Out Fail, are you still alive?!"

 "I wish I wasn't," Fitz moans, face pressed against the rug. "Get away from me with that."

 "He's not dead, no thanks to you," Rurisk says, glaring at Kettricken as she peeks into the doorway wearing footie pajamas. "Go get us some breakfast, and don't fucking poison it!"

 Fitz tries to stand up and faceplants on the bed. "Stop making the floor move."

 "Someone told Kettricken you were here to kill me," Rurisk explains. "I told her not to worry about it, but she thought it'd be a good idea to trick you into eating what we call Fentanyl Flowers and then not tell me about it until fifteen minutes ago."

 Kettricken comes back into the room with donuts and coffee. Rurisk breaks a donut into three pieces, giving each of them a piece. "And if this is poisoned, you've killed us all," he warns.

 "Oh my god, that was one time," Kettricken whines.

 "Listen, Pull-Out Fail," Rurisk says earnestly. "My little dinky mountain kingdom needs the space for farmland down on your big prairies. We need cool stuff from the town that the Liveship Traders books take place in. We need a beach for our college students to go to on Spring Break. So I'm willing to give you ethically sourced furs, good lumber for warships, and my hot little sister as trade."

 Fitz pauses with a donut halfway to his mouth. "What do you mean, 'ethically sourced furs'?"

 "We shave bears. It's not important right now. What is important is that you don't have to kill me to get me out of the way, because I'm on YOUR side. Do you get me?"

 "I get you," Fitz nods.

 "Good. Now I'm going the fuck back to bed. Kettricken, don't poison anybody on the way back to your room."

 "If you don't stop I'm gonna tell DAD--"

 Fitz lays back on the bed. He closes his eyes and wonders if communism should be a thing. Then he thinks, no, having a monarchy is definitely a good idea. What could go wrong with having a ruling class of divine-right royalty who are constantly murdering each other for the throne? And surely there's no drawback to having a Prince that's an evil little shit who commits crimes against humanity with no fear of punishment or reprisal.

 Yeah. Kings are the best.

 The next day Rurisk invites Fitz out to the dog kennels. Fitz loves dogs! Then they turn a corner to find a very old hound dog whose jowls, ears, belly and tail are all dragging on the ground as he waddles up to them, and the music swells as Fitz cries "Nosy!!" and kneels down to hug him.

 "That's my loyal old hound dog," Rurisk says. "Burrich the stablemaster sent him to me in a little basket with a bow on it years ago."

 "I had a socially unnacceptable soul-bond with this dog," Fitz explains.

 "Gross," Rurisk smiles. "Anyway, I gotta go do Prince stuff. Smell you later."

 Fitz immediately goes to find Burrich, who is in the Big Turnip presenting a horse to Kettricken as a wedding present. Cob--

 Wait, there's a note here. It says, "Cob is the stable boy that Fitz and Nosy met when they first came to Buckkeep." There's a piece of straw taped to it.

 Cob is there too, and he makes sure to give Fitz the middle finger as he approaches.

 "Burrich, I need to talk to you," Fitz says. "I just found out you didn't kill Nosy when I was little."

 Burrich stops what he's doing and turns slowly to stare at him. "I'm sorry, you thought I killed a puppy? Jesus, no wonder you were so twitchy as a kid."

 "But you didn't kill a puppy," Fitz says. "And we can still be friends."

 "You thought I was a monster who would [BUILD A ROCKET SHIP SO THAT AN ANIMAL COULD RETURN TO ITS HOME PLANET] if I'd found out you'd bonded with it, but you turned around and bonded with another fucking puppy," Burrich growls. "Which I told you is nasty, so no, we can't be friends."

 Fitz drags himself sadly back to the Big Turnip.

 That night, Fitz is getting ready for bed when Regal's servant turns up at his door. "Hey fuckwad, Prince Regal wants to talk to you," he says, and drags Fitz by the wrist up to Regal's royal Regal room.

 Regal is chilling in his chambers doing epic bong rips out of the skull of a dead orphan, like not a dirty street urchin, but specifically an adorable little ragamuffin with soot on their little tophat that flew off comically when Regal took them out from five hundred yards away with a sniper rifle. "What's up, DICKchivalry," he sneers, then high-fives one of his minions.

 "Hi," Fitz says, forcing a smile.

 "Have you gotten around to murdering Prince Rurisk yet?" Regal coughs.

 "Uh."

 "Uh," Regal says mockingly. "God, you're stupid. Isn't he stupid, minion who has no business hearing any of this?"

 "Absolutely idiotic, my Prince."

 "Prince Rurisk said he's on our side," Fitz says, "and that he wants us to have the lumber we need and his sister and everything. I figured maybe it'd be better to like, not kill him."

 "Alright, since you're too dumb to plan an assassination, I'll figure it out for you," Regal says as his minion loads another bowl. "I want him graveyard dead before the wedding so he doesn't stand next to me and make me look short. Now fuck off."

 Fitz fucks off with many a backward glance, wondering what the fuck he's supposed to do now. There's no signal in the mountains so he can't send a message to Chade or King Shrewd to tell him that Rurisk is cool actually, and even though Regal sucks, like, REALLY sucks, he IS a Prince and Fitz is a tool of the Crown so he does technically have to follow orders.

 What the fuck is Regal's problem? Fitz thinks while brushing his teeth the next morning. Why did he tell Kettricken that I'm an assassin? Why does he want Rurisk dead so bad when Ru-Dawg is on our side? Gosh, I wish I could talk to Chade or Verity or Grandpa Shrewd or literally anyone, but they're so far away, and--

 Oh right, the Skill.

 "AUGUST," Fitz pants, sneakers squeaking as he skids to a halt in front of his cousin. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Look: do you see this silver pin, with the ruby in it? King Shrewd gave this to me when I was nine and sitting under a table eating leftover pies. The Fool and Regal were there too, and there were some puppies, and King Shrewd knelt down and gave me the pin and told me that if I ever needed to talk to him, I could just show this pin at his door and he'd let me talk to him, no matter what, and there's something really important going on so I need you to send a Skill message to him right now."

 August looks at him for a minute. "No," he says finally, and turns to leave.

 Fitz grabs his sleeve. "August you HAVE to let me talk to Shrewd, there are LIVES at stake!"

 "Okay fine, jeez," August says, shaking him off. "I'll get Shrewd on the line."

 "Great! Great. Okay. Tell him, uh." Fitz takes a deep breath. "Tell him Prince Rurisk is doing great and I don't think we should kill hi-- uhhhhhhhhh, I mean GIVE him the PRESENT that we were going to POISON him with."

 "You're such a fucking spaz," August mutters, closing his eyes to make a Skill Call. Then he shrugs. "It went straight to voicemail."

 "Redial," Fitz says desperately.

 "No, I've got important cousin shit to do, including telling Regal that you just tried to get me to dial long distance to talk to the King." August walks across the palace to talk to Regal, but the Prince is high as fuck and doesn't care.

 Fitz leans against the wall and makes a thinky face. "Maybe I could kill Regal," he says for what will be the first of several hundred times. "Eh, probably not worth it."

 That night, Regal's minion gives Fitz a little secret packet of horrible deadly poison. "Regal gave me this to give to you to give to Prince Rurisk," he says. "Put it in his drink and make it look like an accident."

 "Did King Shrewd send me here as some kind of complicated political maneuver where I would kill Rurisk and then be publicly hanged for murder so no one would find out that we killed Rurisk for political gain?" Fitz asks.

 "Take the fucking accident powder," the minion snaps.

 Fitz walks through the Big Onion to Kettricken's door, where he knocks and tells her that he's going to kill her brother. Then he goes to Rurisk's room, with Kettricken following behind. He sits down at Rurisk's table and dumps the accident powder into a glass of wine while Rurisk watches. Then they both drink from a different glass.

 "Kind of sucks that Shift Manager Regal told everyone you're an assassin, Pull-Out Fail," Rurisk says. "You wanna hang out here in the mountain kingdom so you don't end up at the bottom of a lake with your feet encased in concrete?"

 "Maybe," Fitz says. "I think somebody's supposed to catch me in the act of killing you just now, will you let them in?"

 Cob bursts in the door. "Caught you red handed poisoning the Prin-- OH FUCK KETTRICKEN YOU DIDN'T DRINK THAT WINE DID YOU??"

 "No, why?"

 Rurisk falls over dead.

 "Wait, why is he dead, we both drank from the same gl-- wow, I do NOT feel so great," Fitz says, foaming at the mouth again.

 Cob grabs him. "I sent Smithy to space," he grins.

 "Yeah, well I have a poisoned knife," Fitz replies, stabbing him with it.

 "Sweet mountain Jesus, someone stop him, he's killing everyone!" Kettricken yells, then realizes she's holding a heavy metal object and beans Fitz in the head with it.

 Fitz wakes up in the stables outside the Big Onion with Regal already monologuing over him. "I wanted you dead because you and Lady Thyme poisoned my mother!"

 "Queen Desire, Shrewd's second queen who died at some point in this book but Fitz literally cared so little that he didn't even mention it," says a nearby hay bale.

 "Thank you, hay bale," Regal says. "You thought I didn't know you poisoned her, but I DID know! I also know that you were using Burrich to Skill, but as soon as I had Cob stab him you were forced to stop. I knew ALL of these things!"

 "Glag," Fitz says, concussed. Then he closes his eyes, and suddenly he can Skill.

 "Hi, Prince Regal," Galen the Skillmaster says. "Are you ready for me to Skill-Kill Prince Verity during the wedding so you can marry Kettricken and be King-in-Waiting?"

 "Ugh, but she looks like a Soviet Union propaganda poster," Regal moans.

 "Suck it up," Galen says, hitting 'end call.'

 Fitz is still laying on his face in the stables. Nosy noses in and ambles over to drool on him, then bites through the ropes Fitz is tied up with. Burrich shows up next.

 "You have the Wit," Fitz tries to say, but he's still suffering poison damage and the 'hit in the head' debuff, so it comes out as "Glaggaglah."

 "I'm in the closet," Burrich says. "Did King Shrewd turn you into a baby assassin?"

 "Glag," Fitz confirms sadly.

 Burrich looks back at him, then does a double-take. "Where the fuck did you get that collar that says 'DADDY' on it?" he demands.

 "Patience glave it to me."

 "I cannot fucking believe this," Burrich mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's the collar that I gave to your dad."

 Fitz looks at him.

 "You gave it to Prince Chivalry when he found out about me," Fitz says. "That's why it says 'DADDY,' because that's when he found out he was a father."

 "Sure, we'll go with that," Burrich says queerly.

 Jonqui, King Eyod's sister, clips through the wall while T-posing. "Come back to the Big Onion," she says. "Kettricken has forgiven you for poisoning her brother. Which I know you didn't do."

 They drag Fitz back to his rooms at the Big Onion. While Fitz is trying to remember how to drink water, August shows up at the door. "Verity called," he says boredly. "He said, uh, be loyal to who's loyal to you, or something. Also all of Regal's servants died mysteriously and he wants you to go to the hot springs to help him bathe."

 "I do not want to see Regal naked," Fi tz protests, but goes anyway.

 Regal's sitting in a hot tub drinking an evil martini when Fitz and Burrich arrive. "Ah, there you are," Regal says. "Hulking Manservant, bang Burrich over the head."

 Burrich goes down. Fitz yells timber. Regal drags Fitz over to another hot tub, ignoring the sign that says 'WARNING: DO NOT USE THIS HOT TUB IF YOU HAVE BEEN RECENTLY BETRAYED BY YOUR EVIL UNCLE' and throws him in.

 "And that's that," Regal says happily, dusting off his hands, and leaves.

 Fitz, flailing around in the water being hot tubbed to death, can suddenly Skill (again). This is great! He Skills joyously. Skilling is rad! I'm gonna call everyone! Hey Verity! VERITY! ... Verity?

 "Dearly Beloved..."

 The Fool looks up from his Adult Coloring Book. "Hm?"

 "We are gathered here today to join these two second bananas in holy matrimony. Do you, Prince Verity..."

 Verity! Fitz Skill-yells. Look out!! Skillmaster Galen is standing behind you about to pull a Skill Dracula on you and suck out all your, uh, Skill! That's a thing that can happen apparently!

 I am actually Queen Desire's bastard son and Prince Regal's half brother! Galen Skills evilly. I'm pretty sure there's no member of the Farseer reign that HASN'T either sired or given birth to a bastard! Like seriously, as a family we legit just cannot keep our pants on. ANYWAY! I have been conspiring to kill Verity and put Regal on the thro-- oh okay apparently you can just straight kill someone with the Skill too, who knew.

 Galen collapses, Skill-dead.

 AUGUST, Verity Skill-megaphones into August the Skill-cousin's ear. PUT THE KRAKEN ON THE LINE SO I CAN TELL HER IT WASN'T ME WHO PLOTTED TO KILL PRINCE RURISK. AND ALSO THAT I RESPECT HER AS A PERSON AND WILL GREET HER WHEN SHE ARRIVES AT BUCKKEEP WITH A FIRM HANDSHAKE AND A MANLY NOD.

 August's head explodes.

 ~epilogue~

 Fitz and Burrich are later found in a wet, unconscious pile in the steams. Fitz has puncture marks in his wrist from where Nosy pulled him out of his hot tub tomb before climbing into his rocketship and flying back to his home planet.

 Though neither of them are dead, Burrich has conveniently forgotten that Fitz is a baby assassin, and Fitz probably can't be a baby assassin anymore because he has about thirty seizures a day due to being poisoned and then poisoned again and then blugeoned and kicked and drowned all in the space of like thirty minutes.

 They spend a long time recovering in Jhaampe, even after Kettricken and Regal (remember him? he's still alive) go down to Buckkeep. Burrich tells Fitz that they're friends again and that he'll go wherever Fitz goes because he's wearing the 'DADDY' collar. Fitz says, "Because you... view me as a parental figure? I guess?"

 Burrich replies, "Sure. We'll go with that." NEXT TIME, ON DRAGON BOOK Z: Fitz has his Hot Girl Summer, immediately followed by his Shit’s Wack Winter, in ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED! 

[c00kiejar]

This song...

I've never really made a proper post before, just shitposts and the occasional art thing. I want to make one to properly express how I feel right now and why this song represents it perfectly. I will warn you first, however, that this mentions a certain YouTuber who was recently completely destroyed on Twitter and my personal experience as a viewer, and may delve into some not-too-happy thoughts

Still here? Let's dive in

It all starts way back when I was still a kid. I was navigating the wonderful site known as YouTube, trying to find videos on videogames and, specifically, I think it was Super Paper Mario. I had no idea how to beat Chapter 2-3 (the Ruby debt one), and I needed help. That's when I stumbled across a YouTuber called Chuggaaconroy (a.k.a. Emile). The way he provided all the information I needed in one video was exactly what I needed. I couldn't subscribe to his channel because I didn't have a Google account, so I just periodically checked his channel, eventually learning he uploaded every day at 5 PM, perfect for younger me. I'd watch his videos when they came out, loving every single one. I eventually discovered his collab channel, The Runaway Guys, and loved that channel even more. He, Proton Jon (Jon) and NintendoCapriSun (Tim) entertained me for YEARS with their content. I even branched out into Jon's streaming community, becoming a semi-regular artist on the booru for a time (you can still find my stuff there under the name TehSm1tty. Not my best work, but I still like some of it). Years come and go, and I have my fair share of mental health troubles, but I'd always find Emile, Jon, and Tim there to brighten my days.

Fast forward to sometime last week. I've been pretty inactive on Twitter aside from my alts, but I decided to see what was popping on main. I log in and get recommended a post with the hashtag "WeStandWithChugga". I had no idea what was going on, so I looked into it. I won't go into detail here, but the jist of it is that Emile was a total creep to many women and even drove wedges between himself and good friends because of this weird behavior. There's a lot more to this than just that, but the point is that it shattered my view of him. I knew he was pushy and that always kinda annoyed me, but the extent of it broke me. For a few days now, I've been having a rough go of it. I mean, my childhood YouTuber just got outed as a complete creep and has some serious allegations of being at least a lolicon, at worst a pedo. I've been down and out for days, and it just wouldn't stop. That is, until I found out that Tim has a Reddit account. I never knew this (or, well, maybe I did and just forgot. Idfk), and was amazed to learn that Tim's been keeping Reddit updated on what he's able/willing to share. Turns out Emile's getting the help he needs at a legit mental hospital and that he's ok. That's what made everything stop. Hearing he's ok. After all the shit Emile has done, he's still a human being and doesn't deserve to have the whole internet turn on him in a fraction of a second. Hearing a fellow human is ok made me feel better. I'm not letting him off the hook, and I do not believe he should ever be forgiven for what he's done, but if he is willing to better himself and become a better person, I am more than willing to believe in that Emile.

Now to come to roughly 40 minutes ago. I decide to boot up Satisfactory and play a bit, but I have no idea what to listen to while I do. I put on a song but quickly get bored of it, and then I see "OMORI | Do You Remember? | Extended" in my recommendations. I put it on and instantly, as if I were splashed in the face by water, I wake up and feel better. I was still stressed about everything going on (I'm set to go to college in September, AND my folks are headed to Mexico in about a week, so I'm stressed from those too), but with the first note on the piano, everything faded. All my swirling negative emotions were replaced with a somber peace. I'm still hurt by the last week's revelations, and I'm never going to truly recover (who could?), but I'm moving on. I think my comment on the video describes how I feel best; "The sad yet peaceful feeling this song evokes in me... It's pretty much how I feel today. I feel at peace... or, well, mostly. There's still pain, and there always will be, but I can move on and I'll live. In the future, I'll look back on this last week and feel sad, but that'll be in the future when this is all over with for good, so I can also look back at before it and be happy that those good times happened. Nothing will ever be the same, but such is the way of the world. Saying goodbye is saying hello to the future, and we all need to do that eventually. Who knows what the future may hold? I, for one, can't wait to see. Hello future, and goodbye sadness".

Chuggaaconroy was an inspiration and a light in the sea of darkness for so, so many, and these revelations have snuffed the light he provided out. What I hope is that Emile takes a long, long break from the internet to become the person we all believed him to be, to truly become that bright light in the dark, rather than just another dark figure holding a flashlight. I don't hope for that as a supporter of him as I don't support who he is right now (as if I haven't said it enough), I hope for that as a fellow human who only wishes to see everyone become the best version of themself.

I think this post was exactly what I needed. I've finally gotten everything out in a cohesive (maybe?) and healthy manner, and I'm ready to become my best self. I will be beginning work on YouTube videos tomorrow, and will hopefully be posting Thursdays at 5 PM (in honor of DatPags whom has not uploaded in a long time).

To anyone who finished reading this post, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Please, go become your best self, but do not do so by putting others down. Better yourself and acknowledge your flaws, overcome them, and do not repeat Emile's mistakes. Learn from those around you.

Yours truly,

Cookie_Jar of Tumblr dot com

[maitaiwiththecorpses]

That Time Mat Went Batshit (Pt. 6/???)

So, idk if I've ever mentioned this, but I have kids. Like, little kids who look up to me and I make sure to check in with every day. They're my babies. And I need to do a character profiling exercise, so I'm going to introduce you to them in the most batshit way possible! (I will not be using their real names, obvi, but enjoy!)

Griffin:

shitposts in the group chat all the time

does not know the difference between a controversial joke and an unacceptable joke.

has???? a minimal???? amount of rizz????

knows everyone's secrets

can be wise when he doesn't wanna be an ass

the best techie EVER

The Jalapeño:

bby bisexual

addicted to Warhammer and Zelda

watches too much anime

forgets drink water

DnD DM

so. many. allergies. It's so fucking hard to feed him.

misled from time to time (reddit is his news source so we've had to have talks about what's fake news and real news)

is a gentleman (will give u his sweater if u accidentally bled thru ur pants no questions asked)

Stylish Arguer:

forgets she's desi all the time

too much tik tok

hot cheeto girl /pos

Gets into stupid arguments that I have to defuse 24/7

wears flared yoga pants >>>>>:\

the BEST hair of all time

so so good at basketball

Am I Your One And Only:

Will scream at you from backstage bc you're being a dinkwad

sexually frustrated lesbian

so many younger sisters

probably has committed a homicide

volleyball girl

wears slides everywhere (?????????)

Sam I Am:

OH MY GOD IF I HAD TO BE WORRIED ABOUT ONLY ONE OF MY KIDDOS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IT WOULD BE HIM

depressed

needs therapy desperately

misinformed (reddit and twitter are his sources)

bitter at the world and needs reminders that sexism is still real

actually such a nice person tho

dyes hair, shaves hair

carries a suit in his backpack all the time

Abraham Lincoln:

has a dog :D

my og kiddo #1

NOT my fav tho (or maybe he is... we'll never know)

always gives me his ramen

is a gentleman (will give u sweater if u bled thru ur pants... but he'd ask so many questions and when he finds out... so embarrassed)

despite being uncomfortable about puberty, learns everything he can for his baby sister

baseball boy

mini golfs so much

can be a bit of an icarus (aka: jackass) from time to time. But if u yell at him about it, he will cry. So. Find a new way to tell him he needs to cool it.

smort boi

MENDOZA, IN MY OFFICE:

so much character growth from him!!!!

my og kiddo #2

NOt mY FaVoURITE i SWEAR-!!!!1!!

always lets me take his hat (it's his hat in my pfp!!!!!!!!)

learned how to be an intersectional feminist over night for reasons that will be disclosed later on

also baseball boy

bffs w abe link ^^^^^^

has minimal rizz, still pulls

mischievous

finds pics of me and my worst enemy and photoshops hearts onto them

steals my food. Easy to feed.

anxious

asks a lot of questions abt sex. I'm happy to answer, but really HOW MUCH does he need to KNOW??????

Mini Me But Not Quite:

got louder over the course of eight months

big hamilton, heathers, beetlejuice, in the heights, [insert every musical here] fan

BANGER music taste

LOVES percy jackson, heartstopper, the owl house, amphibia [insert all quality media types here]

another bby bisexual

is the reason MENDOZA, GET IN MY OFFICE became an intersectional feminist overnight (that night was the night they started dating)

material GoWrl

is totally not my favorite

NPC:

blonde.

an amazing singing voice

came out of her shell bc of me??????????? T.T

does fortnite and tik tok dances all the time

gets into some dumb arguments

shit talks everyone

so kind

works so damn hard and she KNOWS it

not innocent.

fav Lover song is Paper Rings :D

Ham Boi:

doesn't understand hamilton refs despite being a hamilton

so dumb

Is The Jalapeño's bff

easy to feed

thinks you need to be 'one of the guys' to play DnD

knows what a chancla is (now.....)

is the baby of the group

needs positive reinforcement 24/7

LIGHT:

got drama

quiet

so fucking loud after she met me

judges everyone.

has a good sense of Girl Code

SO stylish. My girl will coordinate her skirt, her hijab, and her JACKET in the same color family and show up to school lookin FLAWLESSS

thinks that I am a replacement for health class (I am)

makes such amazing art it makes me cry

writes so well and works so hard

I won't even deny she's up there with the favorites.

BASICALLY, THEY ALL MAKE ME FEEL OLD

(i beg u to look at the tags. they're so fucking random)

[mrawkweird]

With Adult Swim seemingly on top of the world, what with the whole thing of them now being the go to place to premiere new cartoons (mostly because CN is seemingly aiming for an younger audience even younger than the type they had throughout the 2000's) as well as having household names like Rick and Morty, Smiling Friends and Primal I can't help but feel like we've forgotten a fundamental way to make content. The less is more approach.

When Adult Swim started they made content from scratch with whatever shit they could afford and had access to, which included using backgrounds from Hana Barbara shows. Sometimes for necessity and sometimes it was necessity and the style, AKA 12 Oz Mouse.

When I think back to it, there's something really inspiring and comforting about all that. With the ease and availability of artistic tools and programs these days I feel like there's some untold expectation that if you wanna bother putting yourself out there you already have to be some sort of degree of "good". No more making something shitty and getting better each step along the way.

It's also why I resonate so well with anything on the internet that can come close to matching that energy. So far I can only think of two things, Khonjin House

and recently Palu n' Sora. Actually this whole Ask was just a clever way for me to shill this show cause of how damn funny it is. Not to mention the best use of AI assets I've seen.

Seriously I felt like I've been slapped in the face with the realization of how much you can get away with as long as you have tight writing. All of the voice are AI trained, all the characters AI generated and edited with some bare minimum effects but there's still clear effort and planning in as many of those aspects that can be applied. Also apparently you can now voice act yourself and use AI to change it which is crazy

This shit captures that Aqua Teen feeling immaculately with a hint of Always Sunny.

Since there's now way to share clips I'll share some self made captions

I just feel like this type of thing has become way less frequent, even just for shitpost.

It's as they always say that when you're lacking in one aspect such as a budget it's important that you strengthen others and that's definitely what happens with the writing. There's a lot of charm and identity that can still be found in simplicity so long as you know what you're doing. I think that's always going to be part of the magic of early Adult Swim where you could basically equate it to a bunch of college students trying to make it out of the basement and in the end they did. Now they're working with their own studio but that doesn't make them college years any less special or influential. That's something still worth holding on to. Especially for aspiring animators.