#I have such a specific balancing act in mind I’m tearing my hair out over here

[dol-dee]

Went back to cooking up Bailey. They’re giving me the most trouble as of right now.

I have such a specific feel and vision in mind but I keep making them either too cool or too cold and sharp. I don’t want them too look quite that obvious

[dulcesiabits]

fic: you arrive like a dream

song: sun kissed by khai dreams, right where you left me by taylor swift

-This is the final fic in my seasonal shoujo series! Despite being spring themed, the levity is light and it’s mainly focused on how a relationship falls apart and how it’s repaired again. That suits the idea of spring being a season of “renewal” and “new beginnings,” though, as Bachira’s and reader’s relationship undergoes countless changes through the fic. It’s a fresh start for both after stagnating for years! Though, honestly, I was surprised at the angsty turn it took, and I kept thinking "ahhh does this suit the spring theme? Can I make it suit the spring theme?" and then I was like, “I’m the author! I can do whatever I want!” I think the biggest shock was that it ended up being 14k words…

-If you notice, the way reader addresses Bachira changes in the piece: when they’re kids, they call him Meguru, and when they’re older, they call him Bachira! I wanted to contrast their relationships in the past and the present, and addressing him by his last name adds distance. I actually considered the idea of reader still addressing him as Meguru in the present day, but then I changed my mind because I liked how addressing him by last name added contrast to their relationship from when they were kids!

-It was hard to write "serious" Bachira! I stressed a lot over his dialogue, because unlike Nagi, Chigiri or Reo, Bachira is defined by his carefree nature and bubbly personality. Of course, there are times when he is serious, but what would push him to that point? How would he react? The relationship in this fic is a bit more fraught than in the others in this series, so navigating its specific complications and tension was hard! I think I’ve mentioned in every other author’s note that writing dialogue for these boys stresses me tf out haha… so I hope it pays off!

-When writing the initial draft, I was tearing my hair out. Were the past and present sections equally balanced? Is there too much summary and narration in the past instead of scene? How do I condense years into one section? Are both sections interesting to read without one taking precedence over the other? Does the slow trickle of information feel natural and interesting, or is it convoluted? I feel like I’ve come to a pretty good balance, overall, but this fic has to be the most stressful one in the series to write!

-Reader's personality developed as I worked through the fic-- initially, I considered making someone with enough energy to match Bachira, but then they ended up being more reserved, thoughtful and a mediator (a bit like Isagi when he's off the field, in a way!) They're someone who can take care of Bachira, while he encourages them to act more their age, and to enjoy life! Reader comes from a rich family and only has their mom, who dotes on them. I imagine that they're elegant and poised, and feels the pressure to succeed and do right by their mom. I also leaned a bit more on the racial elements of this fic-- reader is Japanese, and I thought it was interesting to touch a bit on the tension of being a racial minority in America, haha. I thought about having it as a major element in the fic, but then realized I wouldn't be able to wrap it up satisfactorily! But it's something I'd like to explore more in the future.

-Bachira is afraid of change! That's something I wanted to emphasize throughout this fic. Bachira is lonely, and is afraid of losing reader as a friend if they were to date, which is why he initially refuses to acknowledge their confession, and even rejects them. But then he played himself, because reader was too hurt to be his friend again. And reader, in turn, was too afraid to confront him, and decided to ice him out, which hurt Bachira in turn, because his friend doesn't want to be his friend anymore. I wanted to capture those high emotional tensions and impulsive decision-making of middle schoolers, where every little slight feels like the end of the world. It's a fun period of time to explore!

-Thomas was meant to be a contrast to Bachira! I pulled his name out of my head and, though reader is going to break up with him, it's ultimately for the best, considering how they didn't really like him, and they weren't compatible in terms of personality. Reader held back a lot around him, and Thomas didn't really understand them. In turn, though, Bachira brings out sides of reader that no one else really can, and reader loves him sincerely!

-I considered making the ending sad, honestly. I wondered if it was too cheesy/cliche for them to make up, and if it really suited the narrative arc, and if it was "deserved" for them to end up together: did I build up to it enough? Does it make sense? Will readers feel cheated if they do, and does it line up with both audience and narrative expectations? The answer, as you can see, is yes! This is still shoujo-inspired, so I didn't want to end on a sad note <3

[mischiefmanaged71]

Right where you left me - Hotch X Reader

Summary: Did you hear about the girl who was ripped from a fantasy with only a few words?

Author’s Note: Part of a series. Comment if you’d like to be tagged in the next parts. My Inbox is open for requests. My Masterlist is at the front of my page.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem! reader

Warning: angst

Word Count: 2K

The pounding rain against her car filled Y/N’s ears as her body melded into the car seat. Her wet hair plastered to her head as shaky breaths escaped her mouth. Tears left tracks down her face as she gasped, quiet sobs shaking her as remnants of the past few days consumed her. A pang cut through her chest, she gasped shakily and slid down the seat as the rumble of the rain melds into her thoughts entirely.

Remnants of Hotch’s voice breathed into her thoughts. From the last word, she tailed out of there and ran to her car just as it began to pour. The conversation reverberated in her mind.

***

“What happened out there?”

She stood in front of Hotch’s desk, “Could you be a little more specific?”

“You jumped in front of a gun and put yourself in harm's way. You weren’t even wearing a vest-”

“-I acted in the moment and it saved a life. Isn’t that part of the job?” she recited. Hotch’s face twitched in annoyance.

“Reckless endangerment of your own life is partial to those around you.” he stated firmly.

Y/N sighed, looking away from his stern gaze, “I don’t see how that's relevant now, Hotch-”

“Of course, you wouldn’t, because it’s not you who will be left with the burden, that falls on me.” silencing Y/N as she paused for the moment.

“And what about all of the times you’ve done the very same?” Y/N added, “When F-When you were in the hospital, I stayed there while the team got your family. Do you know what that was like?”

“Y/N, this discussion is not about me.” Hotch asserted.

“I know that, but don’t dismiss that you would have done the same. You lead and protect this team, because that’s who you are-this is who I am.” she repeated.

A moment passed as silence emanated through the room, Y/N’s gaze flickered to the window as she waited for Hotch to continue. He stood from the desk slowly and walked around to face her.

She sighed, “...I know you have doubts about my-”

Hotch interrupted her, “-I’m concerned that your focus is elsewhere.” he continued, “You’re easily distracted and impulsive.”

Y/N almost laughed, looking at him incredulously, “The only thing I’m focused on is this team. I can’t believe this.”

“That’s exactly my point, you don’t see the root of the issue-or rather, you don’t want to.”

Y/N tilted her head, "Alright, I can apologise for jumping ahead without your approval, but I won't apologise for a second that I care. I will never regret caring for this team."

Hotch looked to the floor, "You allow your emotions to take over your logic, it's why I didn't want you involved in that case-"

"-what are you talking about?" She questioned in an exasperated tone, her hands tightening to fists at her side.

"The Reaper was threatening my family, that included the people closest to his target- me."

Y/N perked an eyebrow, "So what? Everyone else on the team was working the case."

Hotch shook his head, "They all knew the risk, I didn't ask them to. I would never have asked you to…"

"I get it...trust is earnt. I don't remember losing yours, but I guess I don't know a lot about you, Hotch." She blinked, tears brimming in her vision as she sucked in a breath, “Anything else?”

She stared at Hotch, blinking in shock as her body froze. Losing the opinion of the one you cared about most was a gut-wrenching feeling that threw her off balance. Pursing her lips, she nodded and swung open his door, “Sorry for wasting your time, Sir.”

Eyes are on her as they team looked up from their desks, concern evident from the rush of her steps. Evidently it wasn’t as they suspected as Y/N darted away from Hotch’s office, snatching up her bag and coat from her desk.

“Hey, Y/N-” Morgan called out, standing from his desk to reach across and grasp her hand. She moved away, murmuring a goodbye, “-I’ll see you guys later.”

A hand held to her face, she walked past Garcia whose face dropped at the sight of the tears in Y/N’s eyes, “Oh, darling…” Penelope whispered, watching Y/N’s figure dart past her to the elevator. Looking at the room, Penelope caught the concern in their eyes, as well as the confusion at what exactly had transpired between Y/N and Hotch after the case. Only prompted by concern, Penelope followed a distressed Y/N who held herself up as she waited for the elevator. She whispered her name, reaching out but Y/N just sniffled, gasping out a plea, “Pen, I need a moment alone, please.”

Penelope caressed her shoulder and then her touch was gone too soon as the doors opened, allowing Y/N’s composure to falter as the doors shut and she breathed out in a shaky breath and the first wave of sobs broke free.

***

He stood there, a man she thought she knew, and tore down the very real image in her mind. He uttered the words she never wished to hear, dismissing every moment and every shared word. It instils in her body as she hugs herself, sliding a hand down her face tiredly. Dismissing his questions which made her think he really cared. What of the concerned glances he sent her from across the jet after a tiring case? The brushes of a hand - grazing her shoulder to gain her attention or the accidental brush of a hand as they walked aside each other?

He left her right there in the dark as she begged for a respite. The ache that overtook her body immobilised her from anything but replaying the moment over as it took its toll.

And with her departing figure and the ensuing horror filling him, Aaron Hotcher felt it in himself as he froze. The guilt trapped him down as he stared at the spot where she stood not so long ago and he paused. The sense of something leaving him with her was present as he gasped and leaned against his desk. His fists pressed atop the table while he ducked his head and shut his eyes tightly.

Footsteps wandered to the door as Rossi peeked in the door with a sombre expression as he was aware of the shouts as Y/N left Hotch’s office. Aaron looked up from his desk, tears glistening in his vision as he finally noticed Rossi at his door. Rossi stared at him sadly, unsure of what advice to possibly offer him as he stared at Aaron whilst the silence echoed, plunging into the building remorse.

***

Returning through those doors the next day was an unsuspecting spike of anxiety as Y/N walked into the Bullpen. Morgan and Emily chat at his desk, Spencer reading a book on his own as they notice Y/N wander over. At her abrupt departure the previous night and the unusually silent entrance today, the others were concerned as she parked herself quietly at her desk. They watch as she dumps her bag and offer a forced smile in response to their watchful eyes.

“Hey,” Emily offered, sliding over to her desk. The woman simply responds with the same smile, but her eyes clearly convey a hidden sadness.

“We’re all here if you need anything, or if you want to talk.”

Y/N sighed, “Thanks, Emily.”

Her eyes flicker up from the piles on her desk, skipping right to look at the open blinds of Hotch’s office. He appeared focused and unbothered as he worked through files, filling out reports. Clenching her jaw, she turned to begin filing through the folders on her desk. Emily and Morgan share a concerned look, but they’re interrupted by JJ.

“Got a case.” JJ alerted them, urging the rest to follow into the meeting room as Hotch wandered out from his office behind her. Hotch’s eyes met Y/N’s but she chose to remain unfazed, avoiding him should another harmful interaction proceed between them.

Y/N walked into the meeting room, sitting in her usual seat, which happened to be across from Hotch and focusing on JJ’s explanation of the case. The screen lit up with images of victims, excruciating photographs of blood and gore which they were used to seeing daily. It didn’t mean it still wasn’t difficult to look at, but Y/N found herself distracted as the voices around her analysed the victims for a signature. Emily shared a look with JJ as the woman caught onto the unusual silence of Y/N as she sat, staring at the dossier she was handed. She noticed the glum and unfocused nature as she sat in her chair, avoiding eye contact as if it were her only priority.

Hotch took notice of this, but his face remained blank, “Alright, wheels up in 30.”

Rossi looked toward him and tilted his head, understanding as he nodded toward the rest to leave ahead of the two.

Gathering her bag, Y/N wandered into Hotch’s path as he blocked the doorway. He opened his mouth to speak, pausing at her blank expression as she waited for him to move out of her path. The eerie silence was uncomfortable and unfamiliar to Hotch as she clenched jaw, clearly fuelled by frustration.

“Y/N…” he began.

She didn’t leave him much choice as she slung her bag over her shoulder and muttered, “You don’t need to explain yourself. I understood perfectly.”

“I need to correct what I said-”

Y/N shook her head, “I just need to get through this case. I can’t do this right now.”

She slid past Hotch, catching his shoulder just as a hand gripped her wrist, pulling her back. With a single glance, Hotch’s regret was clear, although he struggled to find the right words as she pulled her arm back.

His mouth gaped as he breathed in, pausing to reflect. “I-Y/N…”

An uncomfortable silence pierces the moment as Y/N’s eyelids tremble with the stinging causing her to blink. She nodded her head, accepting that he had nothing left to say to her. What more was there to say?

“Sir,” she walked off as he stared at the floor. Hotch stood in the air of what he had created, sighing in the midst of the calamity. He strung himself together and wore a vacant expression to hide the present guilt running through his mind every time he caught a glimpse of her.

TAGS

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[kythed]

“pillow talk” - a collection of conversations between you and matsukawa issei.

1. october 23rd, 1:03am.

“that was fun.” matsukawa props himself up on one elbow, lower half still covered by a disarray of blue dorm sheets.

you’re sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling your t-shirt back on, but you turn to look at him, smiling slightly. “fun?” 

“great. excellent. out of this world amazing,” he says teasingly. there’s a glint in his eye and a flush in his cheeks. 

“that’s what I thought.” you make to stand up, but matsukawa grabs your wrist before you can move another muscle. 

“you can stay,” he says, face strangely hopeful and childlike (a sharp contrast to the night’s earlier… activities). “if you want, I mean.” 

your body aches to climb back under the covers with him, to press yourself against his hot skin and let yourself fall asleep in his embrace… but what you have with matsukawa is new and fragile, and you refuse to close your fist on something delicate and shatter it in the process. 

“maybe next time. I have class in the morning.” advanced calculus, to be specific. hell on earth, to be even more specific. 

“will there be a next time?” there it is again. that hope. 

“if you’ll have me,” you say, rising from the mattress.

“I’ll do more than have you.” he grins, cocking his head. “I’ll take you.” 

and there it is — matsukawa issei, ladies and gents. you smile to yourself as you slip out of his room, committing the feel of his hands gripping your hips and his lips on yours to memory. 

2. october 27th, 4:36pm. 

you stay this time. it’s a weeknight, and there’s class in the morning again, but the bed is warm and matsukawa’s arm fits like it was made for you. he’s nervous, you can tell, what with the way his fingers shake slightly as they brush the hair from your eyes — but that’s okay. it’s endearing. cute, even. 

“hey,” he says, voice low and throaty. 

“hi,” you respond, turning your face to look at him, his sharp, angular face shaded even more dramatic by moonlight. he really is a little too pretty for his own good, you decide, running a light hand down his torso. his mouth twitches when your fingers skim over his waistband and back up again. 

“tease,” he sighs, and you laugh. 

“it’s what I’m best at,” you say. 

“among other things,” matsukawa concedes, grinning. you gasp and hit him lightly on the chest.

“you’re so dirty minded!” you scold, and he scoffs. 

“I’m the dirty minded one? listen sweetheart, twenty minutes ago you were —” 

you shut him up with a swift kiss on the lips, swallowing his indignant words as he chuckles somewhere in the back of his throat and pulls you on top of him. you slide your fingers into his mess of dark hair and smile into the kiss until he finally breaks away and begins dusting smaller kisses along your jaw and collarbone. 

“you know,” you breathe, trying to avoid gasping when matsukawa presses his mouth to that soft spot right below your neck, “you’re acting awfully boyfriend today, issei. you’d better be careful before I up and decide to make you mine.”

“maybe that’s what I want you do to,” he says without looking at you. 

you start in surprise, a small smile creeping onto your lips. “oh, really?” 

matsukawa unattaches himself from your neck and takes your face in his hands, staring up at you with a grin. “really.” 

“okay,” you say, and in response he squishes your cheeks and laughs. you roll your eyes and tug on his wrists until he lets go. “okay, boyfriend.”

“okay, girlfriend.” 

you’d never anticipated a relationship to fall into place so easily. but then again, with matsukawa, everything — everything from his sweet talk to his skin to his stupid pickup lines — is pretty damn smooth.

3. january 1st, 11:24pm.

“you have a nice nose,” he says, running a finger down its bridge. golden afternoon light slices through the gaps in his shutters, casting odd stripes across his face.

“I hate my nose.” you bite back a sheepish smile. “it’s weird.”

“no, it’s cute,” he insists, and despite yourself, your heart swells. maybe it’s silly, maybe it’s shallow, but nothing really beats having someone refute your insecurities, however insignificant they may be. “I’m the one with a weird nose.”

you sit straight up, nearly knocking him back. “you do not have a weird nose. I love your nose!” 

“I love your face.” matsukawa gently pulls you back down, gathering you into his chest so he can rest his chin on your shoulder. 

“well, it is a pretty nice face,” you say, and he huffs.

“you were supposed to say you love my face, too,” he whines in a small voice. you almost giggle at the thought of this six foot two giant baby-talking to you.

“I thought that was self-explanatory,” you say. “I like everything about you.”

matsukawa shoots you a dramatic glare, furrowing his brows. “yesterday you said you didn’t like my t-shirt.”

“it was a rick and morty t-shirt! I was morally obligated to disparage your fashion taste in that moment,” you say piously. 

“so you don’t like everything about me,” matsukawa sighs, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. “my girlfriend is a liar.” 

“I like everything about you except for the fact that you like rick and morty,” you correct yourself. 

“I like everything about you except for the fact that you don’t like rick and morty,” matsukawa shoots back, and you let out an ugly guffaw. 

“alright, then. agree to disagree?”

before answering, he leans forward to give you a brief kiss that you return, enjoying the faint taste of spearmint on his lips. “you’ll come around eventually.” 

“I really won’t.”

“you will.”

“I won’t.”

“you won’t.”

“I will,” you say, and then — “wait, no. damn it, issei, I can’t believe that worked on me.”

“gotcha!” 

4. march 20th, 3:16am. 

“dude,” matsukawa says. “we should go out for ramen.”

“did you just call me dude?” you raise an incredulous eyebrow. 

“sorry,” he says, sitting upright and pulling on a shirt. “I meant babe. can we get ramen?”

“it’s 3am,” you say, catching the shirt he tosses to you and putting it on. “is there any place nearby that’s still open at this hour?” 

matsukawa whisks you out of bed, bridal style, and spins you around, ignoring your protestations as you attempt to scold him between giggles. when he finally sets you down you’re dizzy, clinging to him for balance. “obviously you don’t understand the ramen business. when the craving hits, it hits, and these guys know that. that’s why there’s a 24 hour ramen-ya near every college campus in the country.” 

“then,” you say, blinking hard as the room comes back into focus. “I say we go eat.” 

“let zem eat ramen?” matsukawa says in a phony french accent. you want to roll your eyes but you can’t quite bring yourself to do so. he’s too damn charming about it. 

“let zem eat ramen,” you repeat, and he laughs, rumpling your hair before grabbing his keys off the bedside table. 

“you’re adorable.”

“I’m a legal adult,” you sigh. “why do you insist on calling me cute? I’m sexy.”

“you’re cute and sexy,” he agrees, opening the door for you. “the two are not mutually exclusive.” 

“fancy words.”

“I’m just trying to impress you,” he says with an obnoxious wink. 

5. april 4th, 1:58am. 

“do you think there’s life in space?” 

you’re lying side by side next to matsukawa, both staring up at his dorm room ceiling, where a handful of plastic stars glow in the dark. 

he snickers. “you mean, like, martians? little green men with antennae?”

“sure,” you say, ignoring his jab. “or maybe enormous space whales swimming somewhere deep in the cosmos. galactic empires of cyborgs and robot servants. train stations that take you from star to star.” 

“that reminds me,” he says. you feel him slip his fingers into your hand. “we should watch star wars together sometime.” 

“you avoided the question,” you complain, and he laughs. 

“sorry,” he says. “I’ve never given much thought to huge space whales or interplanetary train stations.”

“you’ve never wondered might be out there? never wanted to fly to the moon and see what there is to see?” the thought is alien (pun intended) to you. how could anyone look into the star speckled sky and see anything other than a mass of worlds waiting to be explored? 

“I don’t need to. kinda have everything I could ever want here on earth already.” matsukawa shrugs, flashing you a grin. “good friends. perfect girlfriend. a really excellent ramen shop down the street.” 

“and that’s all you need?”

“that’s all I need,” he agrees, and you stay silent, scooting closer to press yourself into matsukawa’s larger frame. maybe he has a point. you count over your blessings in your head: good friends, perfect boyfriend, a really excellent ramen shop down the street. even space whales can’t really compare, you decide, sneaking a glance at issei only to find he’s already looking down at you with a soft smile. 

and maybe that’s enough. maybe it’s enough to have someone who loves you and your flaws, someone who lets you borrow his dumb graphic tees and never lets you pay for your own dinner. maybe what you have here with matsukawa issei, feet on the ground and hands intertwined, is enough.

[artnigth]

Migraines Part 2

i made it!! Part 3 tomorrow BABY!! (probably) 

MIGRAINES PART 2: Raz was walking all the way back to the Questionable Area, more specifically his family’s camp in the campgrounds. It had been a long day, he agreed to cover Gisu’s afternoon shift since she apparently had an “appointment” or something. Norma and Lizzie kept pestering him to see if Gisu actually had a date of sorts, but he knew as much as they did on that topic so that fun little conversation went nowhere. He was finally able to go home and take a nap, he was ten after all (and very tired). “RAZPUTIN!” A scream coming from above breaking his line of thought. Raising his gaze, Raz saw just as Ford Cruller flew to the spot in front of him. The senior Psyconaut might have been very old, but after Raz had fixed his mind it seemed that the senior was back in his prime. “Your brother needs help.”- the tone of Cruller's voice was concerned but not surprised, neither was Raz. “What are you talking about?” “Your brother is lost in the forest and- “QUEEPIE GOT LOST IN THE FORGETFUL FOREST?!” “Your other brother Razputin. Dion, was it? He got lost in the forest and is having a Psychic overload.”- Ford’s tone was calm but a little tired. “Dion? Having a Psychic overload? No offense agent Cruller but Dion isn’t a Psychic. But I do believe he could have gotten lost in the forgetful forest. Let’s go tell my family to go and search for him.” Both of the Psychonauts ran all the way to the Aquato camp, encountering Agustus at the entrance. “Dad! Dion got lost on the Forgetful Forest, we need to go look for him!”- Raz was tired, his tone was halfhearted and kind of over the whole situation. Agustus’ eyes were wide, he stepped back a little at the sight of Ford Cruller. Ford stayed back for Agustus’ sake, he was clearly not over what had happened and Ford couldn’t blame him at all. “How did Dion get lost in the woods?”- Agustus decided to ignore Ford’s presence focusing on his middle son and the dilemma that had been put into focus. “So that’s where that boy is… His friend came here a couple of hours ago and both her, Frazie and your mother have been looking for him since.”- Agustus sounded tense, but neither of the Psychonauts minded. “Friend? Dion has friends?”- Raz was a little surprised but not too much. “Yeah, that was Frazie’s reaction as well. Let me call them, I’m pretty sure they’re gonna be happy to finally find out where he is.” . “HE WHAT?!”- Donatella did NOT sound happy about finding out where her oldest son had been all this time, scaring her children and husband even if just a little. Frazie, Donatella, Raz, Agustus, and Ford were now standing at the entrance of the Forgetful Forest, with Dion’s “friend” not being there yet. “UNBELIEVABLE. I THOUGHT WE HAD TAUGHT THAT BOY BETTER THAN TO GO INTO THE WOODS ALONE! IF YOU FOUND HIM WHY DIDN’T YOU DRAG HIM BACK, FORD?!”- Donatella kept rambling for a while her temper getting worse with each word. “That’s what I’m trying to explain, Dion seems to be having some sort of Psychic overload. His abilities being so overwhelming to his mind that he can’t control what he does. I had similar experiences when I was a young Psychic, everything was to much to deal with.”- Ford was still standing at a distance from the family, his voice calm but still concerned. “FRAZIE!! DID YOU FIND HIM?!”- a voice was heard from high into the sky. A figure suddenly falling from the sky on a skateboard and landing between Ford and the Aquatos. It was Gisu on top of her skateboard, who stepped off to be at the same level as everyone else. “Gisu?! Aren’t you supposed to be at an appointment??”- Razputin sounded ofended and blindsided. “Appoinment? I never said that.”- Gisu was clearly confused on that topic. “Adam said you had an appointment and that he needed someone to cover your shift, were you here all the time?” “Yeah… I just told Adam I was leaving early, I never said anything about an appointment.” “But… But… You know what, nevermind.”- Raz sounded defeated, Norma and Lizzie were right, and he hated to admit it. And a possible date with his brother out of all people, ugh. “So… did you found Dion, it’s been hours…” “Agent Ford did, Dion’s apparently having a psychic overload in the forest. So we are going to start a search party into the forest.”- Frazie’s tone was her typical sarcastic annoyance but concern was still heard as a shadow in her voice. “Ok, I’ll go high to try and spot him from above.”- Gisu sounded a little desperate to find Dion clearly concerned. But she was still her determined and confident self. She stepped on her skateboard and suddenly she was gone, flying into the sky. The rest of the Aquatos, and Ford separated into the forest to look for Dion. Raz and Ford went north, meanwhile, Donatella and Agustus went east, Frazie stayed back to look after the kids and just in case Dion found a way back to the camp. . . . . .

Gisu was hovering above the Forgetful Forest scanning the area below as well as she could. She was looking for that dorky acrobat that she had gotten to know for the past two months, wondering how could he had managed to hide this type of issue long enough to have such a breakdown. Throwing agent Ford from the middle of the woods all the way to the campgrounds wasn’t a small action, levitating someone that far was impressive for someone who has repressed their powers for as long as Dion has. Her thoughts were interrupted when she got close to losing her balance and falling. A force trying to push her away from an exact spot in the forest, a small clear in the forest where there was a boulder. Trees were being pushed so hard away from that spot that some were being uprooted from the ground. Carefully Gisu did her best to go as close as she could in her skateboard, eventually she had to descend to the ground since she couldn’t move forward anymore. Gisu moved forward slowly, every step felt like if she was pushing a boulder that was getting heavier and heavier with each step. By the time Gisu had gotten to the boundaries of the clear, she had to hold on to a tree or else she would have been thrown away. Looking at the boulder she could see a familiar figure sitting in front of it, with his knees covering his face and his hair being an unrecognizable mess. There was Dion, shaking and sobbing in front of that boulder. Gisu was stunned. What happened to him?! Is he okay?! “Dion?!”- Gisu’s voice echoed through clear, her tone concerned. “GO AWAY!”- Dion’s voice roared into Gisu’s ears, almost deafening the girl. “You need to calm down, you’re destroying the forest!” “GISU YOU NEED TO LEAVE, I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU!”- misery emanated from the boy, in all of his seventeen years of life nothing like this had happened to him. He was terrified of himself and very much lost in his own despair. Gisu stabbed the ground with her skateboard, propelling herself forward and using said skateboard as a cane in order to get the closest she could to him.  Using her own telepathy she tried her best to counter the force of Dion’s own psychic energy. The closer she got, the stronger Dion’s energy became, it was crazy and she didn’t know how to handle it. “GISU LEAVE!” She kept walking onward taking no mind of Dion’s words, just a few more steps and she would reach him, but it felt as if he were miles away. “GISU, STOP!” Her strength wavered, all of his force suddenly focused on her alone. His mind was tormented by screams, guilt invaded his body. HE had thrown Ford Cruller into the sky. HE levitated an old man and threw him to oblivion. HE had killed Ford Cruller, all because of… because… “DION PLEASE LET ME HELP! I’VE SEEN THIS HAPPEN A MILLION TIMES BEFORE. YOU JUST NEED TO CALM DOWN AND BREATH!”- Her cries resonated through the clear, her skateboard started to crack under pressure, she needed to act as fast as she could. She increased the energy she was putting into protecting herself and she kept moving forward. Dion felt hopeless, he needed to get Gisu away or he would hurt her like he hurt Ford. “GISU, PLEASE I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU TOO!” The whispers in his mind were long gone, replaced by screams of fury, guilt and fear. This time he knew all those voices were just him. HE was tormenting himself for what he had done, screaming into his mind until he broke and finally exploded. HE thought it was fair, he deserved to end like this. Not just for what he did to Ford but for how he treated Raz, how he annoyed Gisu with his stupid questions about psychics, how he treated the people around him, how he was bound to explode and no one, not even himself, could stop it from happening. But at least he would make sure to not take anyone down with him. Suddenly a soft sensation was felt on his shoulders, like a thin blanket. Dion looked up from his knees and there she was. Gisu holding on to her skateboard, her knuckles white from the effort. Her hair waving as if a storm was hitting her directly on her face. A soft smirk planted on her face. Her scarf missing from her shoulders and gently placed on his. Tears began to run down from his eyes, all the way to his chin. The pressure stopped, the screams wavered turning back into whispers and the world finally stopped spinning. Gisu took his hands and gently lifted them both to stand. Her hands were rough and cold from all of her mechanical projects with Otto, but for Dion they felt like a safe place, something he hadn’t felt from anyone ever since he was a child. “Let’s go back to the campgrounds your family is looking for you and it's getting dark.”- her voice was soft, a hint of relief on her tone. Dion nodded. They started walking out of the clear and reentering the forest. They had a long way back and Gisu knew it was better to hold her breath since the Aquato family were definitely going to have a rough night. END OF PART 2.

PART 1:

[junicai]

drop offs.

| summary | During filming ‘Highway To Heaven’, there is a small altercation between the heel of Aria’s boot, a loose rock, and the edge of a cliff.

| word count | 3.2k

| warnings | near death experiences (only sort of), swearing

| era | circa. 2019

20. “Put your arm around my - or just fall on me, that works too.”

58. “Don’t tell me to calm down!”

The hot desert air blew roughly against the thin cotton of Aria’s shirt - fluttering the material and tugging it against the single button that was holding the fabric closed. The atmosphere was dry and dusty, hence the steadily growing pile of empty water bottles that was building up in the back seat of one of the staff vans that had driven the members to their filming location in the Mojave Desert.

Fanning herself, Aria knelt down to pull on the zipper of her boot, checking that it was still properly closed. Black heeled boots were, realistically, not the most suitable footwear for traversing the desert terrain, but the extra inches of height put her closer to Taeil in stature so she wasn’t going to complain.

However, the last thing she needed to happen was to stumble over a rock and twist her ankle in the middle of filming.

In an ideal world, she’d have perfect balance, even when teetering around on the four-inch, wide-based heel, (or just be four inches taller naturally), but with the wind as a major factor; Aria was stuck playing a balancing act with her body.

They’d been filming for the best part of the day, having arrived in the early morning to scout out the final locations and prep some of the equipment. The journey up in the van was tedious, and over two hours long, but Aria had made herself comfortable on Donghyuck’s shoulder twenty minutes after leaving their hotel, and promptly crashed out a few minutes after that.

Johnny had been the one to gently shake her shoulder, trying to wake her up without startling her while Donghyuck was attempting - and failing - to wriggle his way out from underneath her without jostling her too much. She’d crawled out of the car with a red mark imprinted on her cheek, that she rubbed at harshly when it was pointed out with a giggle by Jungwoo.

The crew had covered the solo shots first - using the time in between each shot to touch up make-up and hair, or in some of the members’ cases, explore the desert and chase unsuspecting lizards through the undergrowth.

Aria had squeaked when a flash of muddy green had darted past her foot, jumping back an inch and then another foot when a sprinting Taeil brushed past in hot pursuit.

She turned back to look at Taeyong who was watching from afar with a huffy look on his face, throwing up his hands when Taeil finally stopped running and turned around defeated.

“Hyung! It keeps going towards you but you’re not catching it!” The leader complained, walking towards him.

Aria raised her eyebrows in disbelief, moving away from the duo that seemed dead set on bothering the unknown creature to stand beside Mark at the edge of the road. “What exactly are they chasing?”

“Lizards.”

“Lizards?”

He nodded.  

Humming softly, Aria shook her head and knelt down again to tug at the zipper on her boot. After a careful yank, she stood back up, having been satisfied that it was still tightly closed.

“Is that hurting you or something?” Mark questioned, looking over at her.

“Oh no,” Aria waved him off. “I don’t know, I’m just paranoid that it’s going to come undone. Bad feeling about it or whatever.” She shrugged. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“It’s not pinching you or anything? Because I’m pretty sure there’s band-aids in the back, I can grab you one if you need it?” Mark pressed on.

“No I’m alright. If it bothers me later on, I’ll get one myself okay?”

Mark frowned, still not satisfied.

Aria stood up on her tippy-toes to reach around Mark’s neck, swinging her arm around it. “Markie~ I’m okay! See?” She jumped lightly, hopping on one foot and then the other.

Conceding, he smiled at her, poking her stomach. “Race me.”

Aria hardly blinked. “You’re on.”

“I’m coming!” Donghyuck screamed from the other side of the road, pausing momentarily to check that there were no cars coming up on the otherwise deserted road, before crossing and moving to stand in between the other two maknaes. “Ready?”

“Always.”

“On your marks!”

“Get set!”

“Go!”

The trio set off at a run, dust flying up behind their shoes.

At an immediate disadvantage because of her designated footwear, Aria began to slow almost immediately, the other two boys racing ahead. She cupped her mouth in her hands, starting to call out to them to slow down, they were cheating, but was halted by another voice calling for her from across the other side of the road.

The race was halted as Aria was called for her own solo shots. She pouted at the boys, but claimed that because it was interrupted, then there could be no winner called, and they’d have to do it again later on.

Donghyuck and Mark readily agreed, and Aria left towards her specific filming location with a flutter of her fingers towards the pair.

Now, don’t get her wrong. Aria loved filming their music videos. Watching a creative idea and physical representation of their songs come to life firsthand was incredible, and the costuming, the hair design, the make-up, was all mind-blowing to her. Her hair roots were always crying at the end of a promotional period, but she genuinely thinks she’s never looked as good as she did with the soft, bubble-gum pink hair they’d bleached the strands to dye for this promotional set.

The bright lights and the group shots, dancing a new routine together for the first time in a professional setting that wasn’t the practice room - it was exhilarating.

What was not exhilarating, was the occasionally precarious filming locations that the directors decided fit the theme so well that it would be idiotic to pass up on.

That lead to situations like the current: Aria, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Johnny and Taeil all clustered together at the edge of a rather substantial cliff edge, leaning out over the ledge to see the camera that was filming them.

Aria had a firm grip on the back of Johnny’s shirt, trying to find a groove that she could wedge her heel into to prevent herself from falling should the rocks move from underneath her feet.

The ground was dry, and there was little to no purchase offered from the dust that coated the rolling pebbles. Additionally, the lack of grip on the bottom of her black boots wasn’t helpful, and Aria found herself scrabbling for even a semblance of grip.

“Aria!” A voice called out from the bottom of the cliff.

She leaned over to catch the eye of the cameraman. “We can’t see your face, you’re too far back. Can you shuffle forward a bit?”

Teeth pinching her bottom lip, Aria nodded hesitantly, sliding a hand up Jaehyun’s arm in a silent request for help as he was the one sitting closest to the edge of the cliff.

He took her hand in one of his own, the other moving to grab her elbow as she slowly stepped forward and out onto the front area of the protruding cliff. Here, Aria could feel the complete lack of substance beneath her feet, and although she knew it wasn’t true, it felt like the rock she was standing on was paper thin.

Her weight wobbled to-and-fro for a moment, and Jaehyun gripped her arm tightly.

“Careful.” He warned.

Aria let out a shaky exhale, peering down over the cliff edge. “Is this okay?” She called down.

A hum. “Maybe a little bit more? You’re slightly blocking Taeil at the moment. Just be careful, the rocks mightn’t be stable enough out there to support you, so go slowly.”

Aria didn’t think the rocks were stable enough to support her where she was standing currently, let alone another few inches out, but she began to tentatively step out regardless. Her hand clenched around Jaehyun’s.

Slowly, she moved out further, stepping out onto the edge of the cliff with one eye half closed, expecting the ground to shift but feeling nothing. Blinking in surprise, she then felt confident to transfer her entire weight forward, which was a mistake.

A small circular rock shifted beneath her heel, and Aria’s support crumpled out from beneath her.

She let out a shrill shriek, hands grasping at air behind her. She pushed herself against the falling ground, hoping for the cliff edge.

“Shit!” A strong hand tangled in the material of her shirt, pulling her back none-to-gently into a hard back, arms immediately coming to wrap around her waist and hold her there; steady.

Aria’s breath came in hard pants.

She was shaking rapidly, hands quaking as she tucked them underneath her own arms, eyes fixated on the ground where the rocks she had been stood on had crumbled. They had collected in a neat pile at the foot of the cliff - only a three metre or so drop, but substantial enough that one of the larger rocks had split into half, and the other rocks had cracks lining their sides.

God.

That was an awfully long way down.

Is that what she was standing over?

It was like she was removed from the situation. Aria was looking out over the cliff edge - but it wasn’t her viewpoint. Like a film camera, being watched on a small silver screen.

Where was the film crew?

Had they moved the equipment out of the way in the rocks in time?

Was there a camera buried beneath the pile of rocks?

“-ia, Aria- Riri!” A shout in her left ear, pulling her attention away from the swirling thoughts of oh god oh shit oh god oh s-

“Hey.” Jaehyun had spun her in his arms, dragging her eyes away from the cliff edge and catching her face in his hands, making her face him. “Hey. You’re okay. You’re okay, you’re safe. You’re okay.” His voice had a quiver to it, and his hands had yet to release their painfully tight grip on her arms.

She barely even registered it.

Aria’s voice broke out in a whimper, and as her eyes widened to slowly begin filling with tears, Jaehyun pulled her back into his chest, letting his hand come up to rub soothingly along her back. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you baby, you’re okay.” He soothed.

Her heart was ricocheting around her chest like a boomerang.

At some point, she had sunk to her knees and Jaehyun had followed her down, having pulled her away from the edge of the cliff immediately. She knelt slightly, before sinking bodily into his arms, and Jaehyun continued to murmur comfort into her ear as she buried her face in the loose material of his white shirt.

Her head pounded like a rushing river, too many thoughts too make a lot of sense of any singular one. Behind her eyes, the image of the rocks kept flashing, the feeling of the ground collapsing from beneath her feet, falling, the wind rushing through her ears, falling, a hand grasping the back of her shirt but the grip slipping through loose fingertips, falling, falling falling.  

The pair stayed like that for a while - how long, Aria really wasn’t sure, she was more focused on trying to get herself to stop shaking like a caffeine addict going through withdrawals.

The rocks beneath her knees bit into the skin, but she welcomed the grounding feeling - a small bite of pain nipping through the overwhelming rush of emotions threatening to overtake her and swallow her whole.

Slowly though, her breath came back in measured breaths, calming from the harsh panting that was previously pulling at her lungs.

Taking stock of where she was, Aria began to register the other bodies around her. In the time it had taken for her to re-gather herself, Doyoung had settled behind her, hands hovering like he was afraid to startle her with a touch. Taeil was nowhere to be found, but upon a questioning look from Aria, Doyoung was quick to explain in a soft voice that he had followed Johnny down to get the back of the van set up for her - pulling out an ice-pack from the trailer and gathering the blankets from the other vans.

That had Aria moving to push herself to her feet, shaking her head. “No, no, I’m okay. We still have the group shots to film, I can do it. It’s fine.” She argued weakly.

Jaehyun pulled her back down into her lap with a firm grip. “No, it’s not fine. If it were fine, then you wouldn’t still be shaking like a goddamn leaf.”

Aria consciously clenched her muscles to stop the tremors running through her arms like shockwaves. “M’not.”

Doyoung sighed, raising a hand to run it over Aria’s mildly disheveled hair. It would have to be restyled later on, but the windswept look was something that they were aiming for, so he didn’t think it was too bad, all things considered.

“Baby, it’s okay to be scared after that. No one’s expecting you to do anything more today.”

“But it’s fine-”

“You could have died, Akari!” Jaehyun was shaking as well, something that Aria had just noticed. He dropped his head to rest on her shoulder. “You could have gotten seriously hurt. So please. Just, sit down in the van right now, okay?”

“Jae, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, hyung!”

Aria took in a stuttered breath. “B-but I’m ok-ay-” Her voice cracked slightly, tremors returning full-force.

The two boys returned their focus to the girl in between them, exchanging a meaningful glance that meant nothing to Aria. Doyoung wrapped his arms around her as well, and soon she was caught in a hug between them, finally letting the tears pool up in her eyes.

“I-I’m o-kay,” She stuttered out, fists gripping someone’s shirt - she didn’t care too much who it was at the time.

“Yeah,” Doyoung pressed a kiss to the top of her head, tightening his arms briefly. “You’re okay, baby, you’re okay.”

It wasn’t until sometime after, once Aria had managed to pull back the tears and had calmed the shaking to some degree, that Jaehyun gave her a soft prompt to stand up. Her legs were like a newborn foal beneath her, knees shifting and she leant out to grip at Doyoung’s arm again as he moved away.

“Here, here.” Jaehyun pulled her towards him. “Put your arm around my - or just fall on me. That works too.” His concerned tone was undercut by a ribbon of teasing, although it did little to mask how reluctant he was to let go of the young girl, even for a moment.

“Shush.” Aria straightened up herself from where she had face planted into his chest again, her knees having betrayed her to gravity, but this time made no complaint when Jaehyun’s arm retook its spot around her waist.

Together, with the aid of Doyoung, Aria made her way down the dusty cliffside, moving over to the van with an open door, and some of the members waiting around it anxiously.

Yuta was the first to break away from the group, making his way over to hoist Aria into his arms - paying no mind to her stuttered exclaim of hey! His arms slipped beneath her knees, and he lifted her gently, taking the weight off of Jaehyun’s staggering frame.

Upon reaching the van, it was like telepathy. Yuta turned to let Jaehyun take the weight of Aria from his arms - he already knew that the younger boy was shook up, and wouldn’t be comfortable unless he was physically touching Aria in some shape or form for the next few hours - while Taeyong was patting Mark on the back and alerting him to Aria’s arrival.

Jaehyun slid in first, before Aria was placed gently onto the blankets, Mark piling in behind her and proceeding to wrap her in another hug. This time though, it wasn’t her that was shaking, and she could feel the soft quiver of Mark’s hands as they pulled loosely at the bottom of her shirt.

Together, the two boys replicated the hug that Jaehyun and Doyoung had wrapped her in a few minutes ago.

“M’okay.” She whispered.

“You almost weren’t.” Came his huffed response.

“But I am.”

Mark gave no reply.

“God-” Jaehyun choked out a laugh, running a hand though his hair. “Never - and I mean never - do that again.”

She looked down. “Sorry.”

“For what?” Mark’s head had snapped up from where he had buried it in her shoulder. “For causing a cliff-collapse? Because I’m pretty sure there’s someone who needs to apologize for that and it’s not you its the director.”

Aria winced. She had watched through the sliver of the car door that was still open as Taeyong had cast a cold look over to Yuta and Johnny, the three men exchanging a nod before moving away from the vehicle and over to where the staff were finishing up with Donghyuck’s solo shots. The second youngest member had been a few minutes walk away when it had all happened, so he hadn’t been privy to the theatrics of it all; something that Aria was ultimately grateful for.

She wasn’t sure if she’d have been able to breath ever again if Donghyuck had been one of the men wrapped around her right then.

Either way, the three men had made their way out of view of the car, and Aria didn’t envy anyone who was on the other end of their glares. Taeyong had looked pissed, and honestly Aria was growing too tired to care.

After the shaking had died down, it was like her muscles had atrophied in under a minute, and suddenly she was left weakened and with the want to curl up in a ball to sleep.

It seemed, however, that Jaehyun had already prepared for this, and was moving Mark and himself around to allow Aria to curl up comfortably in the back of the van - her head in his lap and her feet in Mark’s.

“M’sorry.” She whispered again, just about to fall off into sleep.

“You’re okay, baby. It’s not your fault. We’re all just happy you’re okay.” Jaehyun murmured, petting her hair lightly.

“Thank you,” Aria turned her head to breath the words into Jaehyun’s stomach, hand coming to squeeze his arm. “Thank you for catching me.” Her voice broke slightly.

“I’m not about to let you down on my watch. And that includes falling to a potential death.” The weak attempt at a joke brought a watery laugh from Aria’s lips nonetheless.

“Can I say I saw the highway to heaven now?”

A soft chuckle, and another pet through her hair. “Sure, baby.”

With Jaehyun’s hand running soothing circuits through her hair, and Mark having worked off her boots - tutting lightly at the red marks that they had left - Aria drifted.

head full of cliff edges and falling.

[thefanficmonster]

Not Alone

Valkyrae (Rae) x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mention of death of a pet, Grieving

Genre: Fluff, Comfort, Angst

Summary: When Y/N doesn’t join the scheduled stream of Among Us with some cheap reasoning that everyone else falls for, Rae is far from convinced. She goes on to check the situation on her own just for her suspicions and worries to be confirmed further - something is off about Y/N and Rae is nothing if not determined to find out what.

Requested by @alex3atsbugs  Hello dear, consider this my farewell to the adorable little Marceline, I hope the cutie is looking down at us from heaven right now. Marceline, I might not have known you but I miss and love you regardless.  You have a special place in our hearts and you will never be forgotten. All my love, Vy ❤

“Ok so we’re only waiting on Lily now, right?“ Sykkuno asks, adjusting his earbuds as he scans over the settings for the game since he was the one to create the lobby which is now almost complete - lacking one more astronaut before the game can start.

Rae, who’s been scrolling through Instagram, looking at fanart and edits, snaps her head up to look at her computer monitor with confusion written all over her features, her brows furrowed, “Wait, what about Y/N? Aren’t they coming?”

This sudden change has surprised Rae more than someone would consider reasonable. But, in her eyes, it’s perfectly reasonable and justifiable considering Y/N has never skipped a stream nor have they ever not reported to her even for the tiniest of things such as running late. Even if they are not joining today, which is a huge oddity in and of itself, they would’ve definitely told Rae about it.

“Oh, no they won’t be joining us today. They said they were experiencing some technical troubles.” Sykkuno replies nonchalantly which aggravates Rae a tiny bit. She cannot comprehend how no one else is seeing anything odd here. Maybe it has something to do with how attentive she is when it comes to Y/N - she’s not sure why, but she is - or maybe it’s just a gut instinct but regardless, she can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong. Not to mention that in all their years of streaming together on Twitch and now on YouTube never has Y/N dealt with technical difficulties that led to them not being able to stream. 

Y/N is the type of organized person that is constantly on top of things. They’d never let a technical difficulty get between them and providing their fans with entertainment. Chances are, if there really was an issue, it would’ve been fixed by now and even if it wasn’t...

Y/N would’ve let me know they wouldn’t be joining, Rae’s mind screams, almost altering her calm facial expression. 

“Hey can you give me about five minutes? My router’s acting up, I’ll restart it.“ Rae blurts out without as much as a second thought. Her thoughts are elsewhere right now, she’s got more important things to worry about. Luckily, her ability of rational thinking pushes through to the surface even without her guidance. 

She mutes her in-game and stream mics, takes her phone and rises from her chair, giving the camera what she hopes is a more apologetic rather than distressed smile before walking off-frame. Once out of view, she dials Y/N’s number, tapping her foot anxiously as she waits for her call to be picked up.

“Hello?“ When it does get answered, she’s met with a sniff before the weak voice utters the hesitant greeting word.

“Hey Y/N! What’s up?“ Rae tried to balance her question between a ‘what’s up?‘ in the ‘what’s wrong?‘ sense and the usual cheerful greeting she uses it as. She doesn’t want to end up seeming paranoid.

“Oh, hey, Rae. Nothing much. Aren’t you supposed to be streaming right now?“ Y/N’s tone raises a bit as they try to apply a bit more energy and enthusiasm into their words, presumably to erase any suspicion that sniffle might’ve caused in their friend who appears to have a sixth sense for when things are up with the people they care about. Or with Y/N specifically.

“Um...“ Rae spares the stream set-up a skeptical look, buying herself time to think of an excuse to partner her negation. She doesn’t want to lie to Y/N but she’s aware that they’ll be quick to ditch the conversation and postpone it if she admits to indeed be streaming. “Um, no, not yet. We scheduled it a bit later. Will you be joining us?“

“Uh, no, sorry, I won’t be able to. I’m sick and feeling like absolute crap so...“

Rae automatically stops listening, not on purpose, she just can’t hear Y/N’s voice over the alarms going off in her head, screaming at here that there’s something SERIOUSLY wrong. The stories not adding up - neither of them making sense to begin with - the lack of any authentic energy in Y/N’s voice, that sniffle she heard at the start of the call. It’s all so scarily wrong that it sends Rae one second away from entering full panic mode.

“I thought you were having technical difficulties.“ She blurts out without any thought of it’d make Y/N feel or how it would change the course of the conversation. 

Y/N inhales sharply as if caught completely off-guard and backed up into a corner, “Oh, yeah, that too. My computer keeps crashing.” Being backed up into a figurative corner doesn’t stop them from trying to further pursue this lie they’ve come up with. A lie so blatant and obvious there’s really no point in them trying to keep it going. Yet they choose to do exactly that.

“Y/N, you’re BSing me, you should know better than that!“ Rae whines almost desperately, “Please, tell me what’s going on? We’re friends, I don’t deserve to be kept in the dark, Y/N!“

There’s silence on the other end, loud silence that almost sends Rae into a breakdown. Some may consider it an overreaction, but let me ask you - wouldn’t you be upset and worried if someone you immensely care about was acting oddly and completely out of character.

“You’re going to think it’s ridiculous.“ Y/N’s voice cracks, letting it be known, clear as day, that they are barely balancing on the edge between keeping it together and crying.

“Of course I won’t, baby! I would never! Talk to me.“ Rae pursues, her heart breaking a little at the sound of her friend’s sadness. It’s taking a really big toll on her, not being able to hold Y/N in her arms instead of trying to gauge out their answers over the phone which is proving to be not at all effective or helpful to either of them.

Y/N sniffles again, “My hamster, Marcy...” She inhales to prevent a sob from escaping her lungs, “...died this morning.”

Rae has heard enough to be sent into action.

                                                            *  *  *

“Thank you so much, Rae. I would’ve probably stayed in bed all day with no effort to keep living whatsoever. You’re an amazing person, I hope you know that.“ Y/N gives the hand of Rae’s that’s holding hers a small squeeze, “I’m so lucky to have you.“

The two friends have been sitting on the couch in Y/N’s living room, the atmosphere a mix of melancholy and comfort. The comfort Rae’s been offering Y/N for the past hour or so has been almost entirely silent, in the form of physical affection, to be exact - hugs, soothing backrubs, gentle abstract patterns drawn on their arm, playing with their hair etc. Needless to say, it’s been far more effective than the attempt of calming them down and helping them out over a phone call.

“Don’t ever thank me for being your friend, Y/N. The honor’s all mine“ Rae rubs Y/N’s shoulder reassuringly, resting her head against theirs.

“Rae, you ditched a whole damn stream for me! Of course I’m gonna thank you! Who else would do that for me?“ Y/N protests, their glossy eyes looking up at Rea, lit up by the small smile that has managed to make its way onto their face.

“Only someone utterly stupid and heartless WOULDN’T do that for you.“ Rae says firmly, holding stern eye-contact with her friend.

Y/N looks away almost shyly, smile growing wider, their cheeks becoming rosier. “You have a way with words, you know...” They bite their lip nervously, “Could you help me express my emotions in the post I’ve been planning to make all day? My fans loved Marcy and I’m sure they’ll be as crushed as I am, I just want to appear strong so they don’t worry about me, you know?” They shrug their shoulders hesitantly as another tear escapes their eye.

Rae carefully and gently wipes their tear away with her knuckles, “Of course, Y/N. You don’t have to do this alone - you don’t have to do ANYTHING alone. Because you are never alone - you’ll always have me.”

Something about what Rae just said and the way she said it has struck a nerve in Y/N that has provoked a few more tears to spill out of their eyes as they somehow manage to whisper a: “Thank you” before throwing their arms around Rae, enveloping her entirely in the warmest of embraces. 

Meanwhile....

“Yo guys, how long does it take for a router to be reset?“ Sykkuno asks his fellow ghostie buds out of the blue.

“Less than five minutes. Why?“ Lily replies.

“Cause Rae said she’d reset her router and be back but she’s been gone for two hours so....“

[fyodorsslut]

Wrists- Bakugou Katsuki

Requested by: @toomanyotpslove​

 A/N: both of us can’t remember what the request was sadly, but I still have the story and find it very much worth publishing!! So, here we are! It’s not the type of thing I’d usually write, honestly, but I tried

AU: Fantsy!Au

Pairings: Dragon Lord! Bakugou x shape shifter! fem! reader

Genre: Fluff, some angst (?), comfort

play: Particular Taste by Shawn Mendes

Warnings: Not proof read, mention of physical abuse, child abuse, blood, mention of killing, reader triggered, enslaving, dehumanizing, bruises

He learnt to never touch her wrists.

  So, when he accidentally pulls her back by her still-bruised wrist, her reaction doesn’t surprise him too much.

  When Y/n jumps back, startled, clutching onto her wrist like she’s doing it for dear life, with her mesmerizing y/e/c eyes shot awide, Katsuki isn’t even surprised. A good 12 years of living with her have taught him this much, at least.

  “I-I’m sorry,” he coughs vaguely, gulping and watching out for any sign of an abnormal reaction. Even though it’s been long, Y/n’s mentality isn’t that stable and any small trigger could be like a bomb, and the explosion is her turning into some animal and losing control over herself.    “It’s alright,” Y/n sighs, rubbing  a thumb against her wrist.

  “You sure?” with a little tilt of his head, Katsuki takes a closer step towards scared Y/n. “You good?”   “Yeah,” she smiled, nodding. It took a lot of Katsuki not to push further. Instead, he nods in concern, wary of the apology he now owes her

   A few years back, or so he recalls, was when he met her.

                                              (12 years ago)

  The shore was so thick with humid, too much humid he couldn’t breathe properly. His small, bare arms prickle with the sensation of moisture, minuscule droplets too small to see dancing over his skin. The 6 years old boy stretches a little, moving his fingers in tiny circles, stirring up the cloying warmth hanging over the seashore.

  Sniffing, he grimaces, the light breeze smells of fires doused by the passing rain. His small features scrunch, the kid at the castle, went out fishing or such. Instead, he was here, with his parents and some lieutenants, checking on what’s coming in and out the country.

   Dazing away from his parents, he runs a hand through the flowers blooming from boxes along the pathway. The dirt around them is still wet from the passing rains and a particularly exuberant gardener. Behind him, more flowering veins run  up the brick walls and rocks, these people love there flowers. The explode in various shades, thriving in this climate-

  That’s when he spots it. Her

  A few men bulk up, trying to casually hide it, tensing at the presence of the king and queen, clearly not have been expecting it. But, from the heir’s vantage point, he saw the girl clearly, Bruised, chained up so movement is very uncomfortable. Some leather, cage muzzle sat disturbingly on her mouth and wrapped around her head. With clearly barely any movement, the girl’s body could go through so much harms, aside from the position she’s sat in.

  It’s almost terrifying, goosebumps crawling up the young boy’s body.

  “Katsuki?” A gentle voice calls for the ash blonde. He slightly flinches, ripping his gaze off the girl in chains. He looks at his mother in a frightened manner.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Shakily, he points a weak finger towards the cage.

  Holding a hand out, he manages to pull the abashed girl out. She has an air of misuse and neglect. Skinny and barely able to balance her weak form on her own.

  Katsuki softly takes the muzzle off. He smiles at the face in front of him, only to be met by wide eyes and trembling lips.

  “Are you okay?”

  Flinch.

  A small hand grips into the back of his dress shirt. A certain body’s heat closing up to him.

  “She won’t do anything, not even eat. She spoke no words, and is continuously clenching onto the prince.”

   Young Katsuki didn’t understand what was going on as the nurse spoke to his mom. A clan murdered? People... haunted? He didn’t mind her huddling onto him the way she did. He heard she’s a shape shifter, what is that? 

  “Shipped, enslaved, and sold in the black market. She’s a special, these ones cost a fortune there.”

  He didn’t understand, sure. But he still knew whatever this girl has been through, it’s trauma. He knew that from how the words sounded, and from the look on his mother’s face, he’s never seen her more disgusted his whole life, not even when he eats his mucus.

   He glances at her, bruises clouding her freshly cleaned cheeks, one eye purple. Her arms and hands were the same, too. When her eyes catch his, she looks down immediately, pulling away as an embarrassed red paints her cheeks.

   “Katsuki...” The king slowly kneels before his son. “What do you think?”    “What do you mean?” He raises a light eyebrow, confusion written on his face with wide letters.

   The king glances over to his prideful wife, who only softly shrugs, both unaware of what to do with the girl who could’ve possibly ended up reduced to some lifeless corpse in a few more days of starvation. They don’t get to ask Katsuki more than he’s already done; finding the girl. Yet, it seems as though the almighty king and queen, for the first time, are out of any other options.

  “Would you mind staying with her until we figure out how to help her do things on her own?” His brunette father spoke gently, simplifying the words so that the young, stubborn prince could understand much of it.

   “I’m not a kid,” He huffs, annoyance unjustified. “Of course I’ll help her around. That’s my job.”

  A scream erupts from her lips before she could help it. Her eyes immediately shot shut as she holds out her arms in defense, ready for the punishment for being so loud.

  “Hey, easy there,” The man at the infirmary smiles gently at her. “What’s wrong?”

  “She doesn’t want anyone touching her wrists,” Katsuki confirms, watching over them closely like an examiner over a test. The doctor helping figure out her bruises as y/n flinches like a spooked animal.    “Manacles trauma,” he nods. “These monsters really did their business.”

  “Katsukiiiii,” she whines, helplessly running. “Slow down a little!”   “Not a chance!” Her friend chuckles aloud, tugging at the blindfolded girl’s hand as his legs take off, fleeting against the floor of the castle.

   He comes to a sudden stop, pulling Y/n to stop too. 

  “Why’d you stop?” she questions, tightening her grip over his small fingers.    “Shh, we’re here,” he talks, smiling agape as attempts to control his uncontrollable excitement.

  His hand leaves hers, clutching on to the blindfold at the back of her head. Swiftly, he rids her of the void she was staring into.

  The sight she was outlet into was like an ambush to her feelings. Unable to form any words or create a reaction other than a stuttered “is this for me?”

   “Do you... yes! It’s yours! Do you like it?” The young ash blonde asks excitedly, watching over the girl’s reaction. “It’s even right next to mine!” 

   She turns to him, tears filling her pretty y/e/c eyes. Before he realized it, she’s pulled him into a tight embrace, sobbing for some reason unbeknownst to him.

  “Thank you.”

                                   ( Back to the present )

   “Can we go back inside now?” He felt her breath before he heard her voice, straight up nauseous from the amount of people gathered up in such feast.

  “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he grumbles under his breath. He sounds annoyed, but it’s no sweat for his lover to slip past his well-made façade.

  “Thank you, Katsu,” She presses a soft kiss on his cheek. Even though he knows no one saw, due to their position at the far corner of the room, his cheeks rise a flame. He immediately grimaces, you could practically see steam fuming from his ears as he, without any ado, stomps inside puling  the girl alongside.

  “I sure hope you have a proper explanation for that, princess,” He folds two strong, muscular arms onto his bare chest. The multiple necklaces and animal teeth almost scrambling away from his arms.    “Explanation for what?” Y/n raised a brow, playing dumb. She smiles softly, twirling a lock of y/h/c hair around her index finger, knowing damn well the practiced act does the trick.

  “Tch,”he rolls his eyes. Only throwing himself on the couch. “Sit here, idiot,” he pats the spot beside him in a soft manner, indicating he’s about to start a sensitive conversation.

  Gracefully, Y/n places herself on the couch, placing he r head on Katsuki’s broad shoulder. His arm wraps around her waist like it always does, scooting her closer as it finds rest on her thigh ((stfu-)).

  “This morning you were... crying?” He spoke softly, unable to find the perfect way to speak in this specific situation.

  Y/n takes a deep breath, fingers fidgeting with Katsuki’s fingers. “Nightmares,” she admits.   “The same one?”   “I think,” she shrugs, gulping. “I can only remember the faces of.. you know.”

  By the way her fingers slightly squeezed his, Bakugou knew he should stop the conversation there.

  “Don’t worry,” his voice was so, very low she could barely hear him. He presses a tender kiss on the top of her head, letting his lips take the weight of her whole  head, finding rest at that spot. “No one will harm you as long as I’m here,” his voice sent slight vibrations through her head, as he inhales the familiar scent of her hair. “And you know I’m too stubborn to die, anyway.”

  “Wow, very comforting, Katsuki,” she chuckles, pressing a kiss on his shoulder.   “Shut up,” he blurts, flustered.    “I love you too, Katsu,” She held his hand with both hers, printing continuous pecks on it.

  His hand grips her cheek, the other gripping the opposite.  Fixing his seating, he pulls her face upwards, planting a firm and fiery kiss that’s too short for her liking on her soft lips.

  Unlike the rest of the shapeshifters, and unlike most of the the population she lives amongst in this country,  Y/n’s a soft, curious soul. Not made for a harsh living or to be put against anything. Yet, the fire in her only ever lured people, the difference in her. Of all people, the heir to the dragon throne, Katsuki Bkugou. 

  “Fuck you for being like this,” his ruby eyes bore into hers, unable to find a single flaw.

  Both the kids’ hearts raced in their chests.

   He learnt to never touch her wrists, instead, he touched her soul to anchor her

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Your Protector ~ Gloxinia x Reader

Someone explain to me why do I love this beautiful boy so much.

He used to be such a cry baby, always clinging to his mum’s skirt, not wanting to learn how to properly use his powers...No, he just wanted to play around, sniff flowers or make flower crowns out of them, bask in the morning sun and watch clouds float away...

But he’s the future Fairy King, how can I let him alone? His parents asked me to always be by his side, now that they’re gone...

And he’s so cute, especially when he does those puppy eyes, pleading not to get him to practice offensive magic, although he was the one chosen by the Sacred Tree.

I know he’s scared, it’s a lot of responsibility to look over everyone...But, after all, he’s not truly alone, and he will never be.

Cute little Gloxinia...Cute little Gloxinia who’s both taller and older than me, but still loves acting easy-going and child-like, especially when he hang around his sister, Gerheade.

“Hey, Gloxinia, wake up.” I kneel by his side, as he was sleeping on a huge sunflower, high into the sky, to not be bothered by anyone, and to bask in the warmth of the sun. “Hmmm...? Ah, Y/N, it’s you. I don’t feel like training, come again later.” he sighed, turning to the side, so he won’t see me. “...Okay. I’ll try later.” I hung my head, flying away, trying to get myself something to do, so I won’t get bored.

Sometimes, I don’t realise how boring life can be, which is why I have to always keep myself busy...I wonder, how is it like to be able to be so outgoing, so sociable, so friendly and able to relax and do...Nothing. Nothing at all...All day, just laying down and admiring the world around you.

Being one of the few fairies who can use her powers to the fullest, because of all the extensive training, and since I’m so different from everyone around me, I feel like an outcast, even though I know nobody wants to make me feel that way.

For some reason, I found myself sitting in a bed of beautiful, colourful flowers, and letting myself fall down on my back, I start watching the clouds move. But it was boring, and I felt restless. I had to move, in some kind of way, to keep my mind occupied, so I started picking up flowers and attempting to create a flower crown.

But, by the end of the 10th flower crown, I got frustrated since they all looked terrible, so I threw them away and went back to practicing my magic, until I started feeling a dark presence, and when I looked back, a huge white and green demon, for some reason, came out of nowhere, ready to attack our Forest.

Not on my watch.

I flew in front of the demon, pissed off that it dared get close to our home and threaten it, and taking out my weapon, I start attacking it, while yelling out for Gloxinia, hoping he’d hear and get everyone to safety, since things were going to get messy.

Only the Goddess clan can naturally take down demons so easily, so I could only hope it was going to go away before destroying out home. No demon ever came to disturb us before, so needless to say, it was disturbing.

That blasted demon so easily slapping me away in a tree trunk as if he was swapping a headless fly, but that wasn’t going to throw me off my game to drive it away.  However, a familiar cry of fright brought me back from reality, when I saw the demon’s other hand trying to attack someone...That someone being Gloxinia himself. That was the last drop for me, as I pried myself off the tree and stretching out my wings, I flew at full speed and picked up the wingless fairy, getting him to a safer spot.

“Go find your sister and make sure everyone is safe. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. Take care.” I kissed his forehead, wiping away his tears, before getting up, ready to fly again, but he stopped me. “Wait, no, don’t go! That thing is too powerful, even for you! You can’t fight it all alone!” poor darling, I’ve never seen such fright and despair in his eyes, it broke my heart. “I’m not the future Fairy King, dear. You are. You are the future of our kind...And even if you weren’t, I’d still gladly give my life to save you. Now go, that thing is going on a rampage.” I pushed him away as I flew up again, using all the power I could muster to keep the monster away, but each time, it would swat me away, and each time, I’d fly back to fight it again.

That is...Until, as the demon threw a blast of dark power at me, and I knew I wasn’t fast enough to fly away from it, so I maximized my own power, hoping it would counter it... But next thing I know, I was pushed out of the place, and, on the ground, a little fairy with 4 little wings lay there, injured gravely.

It was Gloxinia.

Damn it, Gloxinia, you reckless kid...You just can’t stop getting into trouble, can you?

Flying to his side, and kiss him, giving him the Kiss of Life, one of my specific powers as the Guardian of the Fairy Forest, and he was back in perfect health.

“You, idiot...Never do that again, got it? You got me worried sick...Especially now that you got your wings.” I smiled at him gently, holding him tightly to my chest. “My wings...? Wait, really, I got them?! I didn’t even realise!” he gasped in shock, prying himself from my arms, looking at his back, grinning at his achievement. “You’re the best, Gloxinia.” I said, and feeling another dark matter approaching, I quickly figured out another dark blast was going to hit us again, so I spread out my wings and wrapped them around him, protecting him from the blast. No matter what, he has to live.

With the last bit of my power, I reflected the attack at the demon, which went back at it with double the power, which thankfully, managed to drive the demon away to its realm...But it also managed to fry and pierce me pretty good, so I had no idea I fainted, until I woke up, the passing clouds being the first thing my eyes captured.

With some difficulty, I manage to push myself into a sitting position, realising that I was sitting on a flower, very high in the sky. My body was still aching, but my wings were in perfect shape, as if nothing happened.

“Yoo, you woke up. Finally. I was beginning to worry.” a familiar voice called out, and Gloxinia appeared, holding some flowers in his arms as he sat down next to me with the same chill face as usual. “Uhm...The demon went away, didn’t it?” I asked, feeling a bit nervous. “Yes, of course. You defeated it, remember? Anyway, feeling better?” he asked as he started fidgeting around with the flowers. “Yeah...I’m okay. Are you, though? And everyone else?” I asked again, as a way to calm myself down. “Yees, don’t worry about us. Everyone’s okay, thanks to you.” he said cheerfully as he placed a flower crown he just made on my head. “Thanks for protecting us. You were right, instead of slacking off, I should have trained. I will be the Fairy King, and I have to be brave and strong, just like you, so that next time, I’ll be the one protecting you, not the other way around. So...Will you please continue staying by my side and helping me?” he cupped my face, his expression soft and gentle, like I haven’t seen him before with anyone but his sister. “W-Well, of course. I’m not going back on my promises.” I looked down, feeling my cheeks warm up a bit. “Ehhh~? You’re surprisingly soft, aren’t you? You’re cute, Y/N, I want to see how much cuter you can get.” he chuckled, playing with a strand of my hair. “Talk to me when your wings are fully developed.” I jolted to my feet, flying a bit farther away from him. “...Like mine.” I looked back at him with a teasing smirk, which made him laugh. “What is it, you want to play tag?” he crossed his arms, as if accepting a challenge. “With those tiny wings, can you even keep up the pace?” I giggled, propelling myself far away from him, and going through the cramped spots so it would be more difficult for him to follow. “Gotcha~!...OH-” I eeped in shock as Gloxinia somehow ambushed me and threw himself at me, only for both of us to lose balance and fall tumbling on the ground, in very awkward positions, away from each other. As we turned to look at each other, we started laughing at how silly that was, especially considering we were the best flyers in the forest, and yet, we ended up like this.

“See, Y/N? You can be lots of fun, if you want to. You just need someone who gets you. Now then, since we’re so far away from the others, help me figure out how to properly use my Spirit Spear Basquias. Only you can help me out.” he said, taking out his weapon. “Okay, kid, let’s see what you’re made of, now that you’re finally serious about your training.” taking out my Sacred Sword, ready to properly train for the first time in a long time.

The next training sessions went surprisingly smooth, now that Gloxinia finally took his responsibilities seriously and easily picked up everything I taught him, and sooner than expected, his small wings grew to be the most beautiful ones I’ve ever seen in my life, beating any species of butterflies.

He was so happy that his wings completely developed, that he started laughing gleefully, doing loops in the air, before snatching me up and going as far up into the sky, and as soon as he stopped, he put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me into a deep kiss, leaving the both of us with pink cheeks, but different reactions altogether.

“I...Well...Wasn’t expecting that.” I looked away, hiding my face with one of my hands. “You’re the one who kissed me first and said to talk to you when my wings developed, right?” he hummed in amusement, teasing me. “W-Well, yes, but I did that to heal you!” I tried to defend myself. “Then...You don’t want me to kiss you again~?” he tilted his head to the side, a side grin growing on his face. “Oh, you’re such a jerk.” wiping that nasty grin from his face, I rest my hands on his shoulders, bringing him closer to me, so I could properly kiss him back. “Nice try, Gloxi, but you can’t tease me.” I winked at him, as I held his hand and dragged him to a beautiful field of flowers. “Can I braid your hair, dear?” but before I could say anything, he got behind me, on the ground, holding me in his arms, between his legs, his chin resting on my shoulder, as he quickly pecked my cheek. “Sure, go ahead. You’re much more talented at that than I’ll ever be.” I chuckled lightly, letting my hair cascade down my back. “Thankfully, there are tons of pretty flowers and I can put them in your hair...Although, there’s no flower that’s more beautiful than you.” he spoke so nonchalantly that he almost shocked me. “Says you, butterfly boy.” I smiled, feeling at peace, letting myself relax as his fingers running through my hair so skillfully were weirdly soothing.

For a long time afterwards, I and Gloxinia have been together, and he promised to marry me once the Holy War was finally over, as he didn’t want anything to happen to either of us.

However...Due to certain circumstances, Stigma was a complete failure, thanks to the humans, demons and archangels who messed up everything...And massacred my people...And Gloxinia...

My Gloxinia disappeared completely.

There was no body, no evidence, no hint that he ever was in the forest anyway, except for Gerheade who told me he killed Rou and then left...So we were convinced he died somehow.

Years passed, and I had to train more Fairy Kings to reach their full capacity, and yet, there was nothing that allowed me to feel any ounce of happiness or fulfillment in my heart.

There was nothing more than an empty void that nothing could complete, and it appeared as soon as I couldn’t feel his presence in this world anymore. Not to mention, after 3 millennia passed, the new King is a complete, irresponsible child who left his little sister to take care of the Fountain of Youth, which is result led to her death, and a human had to replant the Forest Seed, otherwise our whole realm would have died.

This guy...He looks so much like Rou...The one who protected Gerheade long ago...And now, he tried, and still tries, to save Elaine, to bring her back to life. To think that some humans could hold so much love for some fairies like us, it’s almost unbelievable, but so beautiful nonetheless.

But then...Something unbelievable happened...And I felt this weird feeling in my heart that only occurred when Gloxinia was alive. Why would it happen...? He’s long dead, isn’t he?

I have to test this feeling I have, so I went in search for the Seven Deadly Sins, who claimed to be fighting the Ten Commandments who, for some reason, were brought to this world, and Meliodas, whose demon rage took over him, needed help in his fight.

But then...There he was...

A little fairy with long red hair, sitting on the shoulder of a blue giant with four arms.  If I weren’t as old as I am, I wouldn’t have had a clue who they were...But I remember...Gloxinia and Drole, they used to be best friends, as they were both the leaders of their people...

And there I was, floating in the middle of ten demons, looking with shock at the fairy, who stared at me with demonic eyes, with the same expression I had.

“Gloxinia...?” I wasn’t sure if he heard me, for my voice was barely above a whisper, before one of the demons attacked me out of nowhere, sending me tumbling to the ground. “DON’T ATTACK HER!” his voice echoed throughout the place, anxiety surging through it a bit too obviously. “Gloxinia...Is that really you?! What happened to you? I...I thought you were dead...!” I pushed myself off the ground to get back in the air to his level. “Yes...Yes, it’s me...But what are you doing here?! Go back home, I don’t want to see you hurt!” he tried to care for me, but that was the last thing I cared about.  “No! I’m not going anywhere without you! You already left me once, I’m not letting you do that again.” I frowned at him, determined to get him back home. “That’s enough talk! If she doesn’t wanna leave, or join our side, then she’s gonna die!” one of the demons roared, and attacked me. “No! There’s no way I’m leaving without Gloxinia! Never again!” no matter how many times I got thrown around, stabbed, hit or blasted away, I’d get up to fight, because death is a better outcome than not having him by my side for another day. “That’s enough!” but the Fairy King flew over, taking my form in his arms, his wings protectively covering me.  “As naive as always.” I smiled weakly, putting my arms around his neck, and in an instant, I teleported us far away from that place, which shocked the fairy beyond belief. “Forgot about my powers, didn’t you?” “Why’d you do that?! I have to go back, otherwise-” he kept looking behind him with a worried look, and I could only push myself to kiss him, not realising tears were streaming down my face. “Why did you leave me? Why did you leave us? You have no idea how devastated Gerheade was...” I bit my lip, making him sigh and hang his head. “...I’m sorry, Y/N. When I saw you and my sister in that state...I thought you were dead. I thought there was no more reason to live...So I and Drole joined the Ten Commandments. We wanted revenge on the humans who destroyed everything we held dear to us. And...I was too afraid to check if you were alive or not. I was afraid of knowing you might be dead...So I ran away. I’m a real coward, aren’t I?” he chuckled weakly, his face showing the sorrow he held in his heart. “Then...Can’t you come back to us? Return your commandment and come back. Drole can do the same. It’s no big deal, is it? ...Is it?” I asked with hope, gently cupping his face. “I...Yeah, it can work, but...Who will accept me back? I’m the Fairy King who abandoned his people. I know I did a terrible mistake from which I couldn’t turn back.” he explained, as I raked my fingers through his beautiful hair that remained as soft as always. “Everyone will accept you, I promise. You were the best and most powerful King we ever had. And, besides...Gerheade would be so happy to hug you again. She hasn’t danced or sung since that day...But she’s been a great adviser for all Kings. She grew up as a fine lady.” I put my forehead to his, trying to calm him down. “And...And you? Do you really want me back, after everything I’ve done to you? After all the promises I broke to you?” his voice was more of an usher than before. “I’d want nothing more than to spend my life with you by my side, no matter what.” I replied, which made him raise his head up, his demonic eyes turning back to his gorgeous, amber like ones, and the demon mark on his chest disappeared completely. “Then...Would you still want to marry me, even after I abandoned you for more than 3000 years?” he asked, and my heart burst with warmth and happiness. “Of course I would. As long as you are by my side, everything will be okay.” I threw my arms around his neck, too afraid to let go of him. “Thank you...Thank you for not giving up on me, even though I deserve it. I love you so much, Y/N. I promise, this time, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” he held me close to him, one hand on the back of my head, while the other was holding me tightly. “I will always love you...My dear Gloxinia.”

[novelconcepts]

fic: (your gift to me is just to be) bracing for the winds i always summon

She can’t always explain it.

There isn’t always a reason.

In fact, more often than not—these days, the days where time feels too fast for fairness, an unjust plodding onward that makes her feel as though her skin is stitched together all wrong—there is no reason at all for how she feels. No reason at all for how the world seems to press in tight around her, the sun too hot, the air too cold.

She can feel this kind of day coming like a storm--a sizzle on the air that builds over time, days piling up with progressively more aggression along the ridges of her spine, the pads of her fingers, the tension lining her jaw. When it all started, she would warn Jamie: I feel wrong. I feel like...like I can see her, out of the corner of my eye. Like she can see me, no matter where I hide. 

S’all right, Jamie always said, with that stable, easy method of taking Dani’s hand and leading her out of the shadows. It’ll pass, Poppins.

And for a while, she was right. Pass it did--often with the rising of the sun, or the arrival of some new distraction on the calendar. It would pass, and Dani would breathe freely again for a while. 

Except time plods on. Time stacks up. Time dissolves from the abstract into days, weeks, years, and suddenly, things aren’t quite so quiet inside her head anymore. Things aren’t it’ll pass, Poppins so much as we’ll face the next one together. Ride it out. One day at at time.

She’s truly not sure how she’d be handling it, without Jamie. She thinks sometimes of who that woman might be, what she might look like: at home with no home at all, bolting out of each town as soon as she finds a new one to take her in, weaving and dodging through the trees in an effort to find invisibility. Never letting anything land. Never letting anything in. What a life that would be, empty and hollow and terror-struck. 

Life with Jamie is none of those things. Life with Jamie is, she thinks, a kind of saving grace she never would have wished for. Never would have thought to expect, an unearned gift that sets tears in her eyes and strength in her breast. Life with Jamie is singular, because Jamie isn’t looking forward. Jamie is only looking at her. 

Give it to me, she urges. Give as much to me as you can. I can carry it for us both. 

Pretty words. Romantic ideals. Jamie, a quiet hero in dented armor, trying her best. Dani won’t ask that of her, not ever, can’t imagine a world where she would give Jamie even half of what she’s carrying. The very act of asking is enough to ensure that much. The very act of Jamie taking her hands, offering herself up, is enough to solidify the one oath Dani has been making at the start of every day for years. Jamie has taken more than enough. Jamie has carried things she can’t fathom. This? This thing she walked into herself, without asking Jamie’s opinion on the matter? This is Dani’s alone. 

She can’t give it up. No matter how tightly Jamie holds her, whispers against her hair that she doesn’t have to go it alone, she can’t. Some brands are meant only for her skin. Some ghosts are meant only for her bones. 

She can’t give it all to Jamie.

But some nights--storm nights, nights where her skin is too tight and the air is electric with the sense of a spiral she can’t stop--she can do something else. Jamie offers. Jamie offers with a smile, with a kiss, with soft hands and endless trust.

On these nights, the nights she can’t breathe for the binds around her wrists, her heart, her throat, Jamie offers a kind of return to balance. 

Dani can accept that much.

***

She doesn’t remember finding their way onto the floor. Most nights, moving with Jamie this way is an art--each step seamless, blended from one to the next as soft kisses become touches become undressing become rhythm. Most nights, they could pause anywhere in the process, and she’d know exactly how they got here. 

These nights, these specific nights, it’s like one great leap into whipping winds. One swift choice to close her eyes and let pure instinct take over. 

She’s asked Jamie, time and again, if she’s different--if Jamie can read it in her kiss, in her hands, in the desperate push-pull of her body--on these nights. Jamie, leaning back against the pillows with a cigarette between her fingers, looks her over, answers carefully. It’s like she can tell what Dani is deliberately not asking, what Dani is terrified to find out: that, one of these days, Jamie is going to look up at her and find a stranger grinning back. That, one of these days, the woman coaxing Jamie towards the edge will be someone else entirely. 

No, she says on these days. No, it’s not different. It’s just...more. 

But you know, Dani pushes. You know when it’s coming. When I'm going to have one of those...one of those nights where I--

Where you need a little extra? A smile. A gentle hand on her cheek, a thumb brushing her skin with such care, she has to close her eyes. Dani, I don’t mind. Really, I don’t. It’s right, no matter what kind of night we’re having. 

There’s more she doesn’t say, more she doesn’t need to put into words. That these nights are the ones where she feels Dani is the closest to letting her all the way in. That these are the ones where Dani edges up to the line. Almost, almost brings her beyond the border, into the trees, into the thicket where the eyes watching are hungriest. 

Dani won’t take her all the way. Dani won’t turn her deliberately toward the mirror, risking the wrath of whatever lays behind the glass. She won’t, not now, not even if it gets worse than she can imagine. 

But this--these nights--these days where the electricity builds and the thunder roars and she finds herself on the floor with Jamie writhing beneath her--these nights, she grants herself the space. These nights, wearing straps Jamie’s more comfortable getting into, sweat running down her back, hands clawing for Jamie’s hips. These nights are as close as it gets. 

Jamie is soft, her arms around Dani’s shoulders, her hands digging in as she muffles sounds of desperation into Dani’s neck. Jamie is soft, her throat bared for Dani’s mark, her eyes fluttering as Dani matches each hard swipe of tongue and sharp graze of teeth with a pump of her hips. Jamie is soft, and she is raw, and she is real, legs tight around Dani, pulling her deeper. She groans as Dani works a raised bruise into her shoulder, her hands gripping Dani’s hair, her voice a steady drum alongside Dani’s need. 

Dani doesn’t have space in her head for the demons, with Jamie under her like this. With Jamie looking at her as she did tonight, Jamie opening the box under the bed, saying softly, “D’you want me to--” She’d let the question linger on the air, both of them knowing Dani’s been flinching from reflections all week, both of them knowing Dani has spent days watching herself unravel as if from a great distance. Both knowing Dani, on nights like these, can’t lay back and let herself exhale.

Most times, the position is reversed: Jamie sliding into this harness, Jamie sliding between the sheets, Jamie positioning herself carefully and waiting for the signs that Dani is ready and willing and eager. Jamie, who is gentle, even when she’s not; Jamie, who is sweet, even when she’s hungry. 

Jamie, who does not require the same sweetness in return. Not on this sort of night.

They’d started on the couch, and she’d felt...tense. Tense, and a little nervous, in that way she gets whenever the storm boils over. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to-- She never says what she means, but she knows Jamie can hear it on her voice, anyway. The reticence to give her ghosts a shape. To give them any power at all. 

“It isn’t her,” Jamie assures her. Jamie, moving slowly on her lap, kissing her with such gentle patience. Jamie letting her head fall back with a sigh as she shifts and rolls her hips, hand wrapped around silicone, fingers wrapped around Dani’s. Together, she says with the pressure of her hand around Dani’s grip, gently guiding Dani in. “It’s only you. It’s only ever you.”

Dani wants to believe that. Wants to believe it so hard, she’s not sure there’s room in her for anything else. Jamie’s hands in her hair, cupping the back of her head, tipping her back until Jamie can meet her eyes, are certain. 

“Only you,” she repeats, with such calm, even as her knees are pushing against the couch cushions, her voice sharpening as she allows Dani to rub against her. She is warm and wet, open and inviting, and even as she’s spreading for Dani--even as she’s arching her back--even as she’s pressing herself down, her breath hitching as her body acclimates, she’s saying, “It’s all right. I promise, it’s all--”

It’s permission, and it’s desire, and it’s the moment Dani needs each time. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how hard the lightning strikes, she needs this from Jamie before she can really let herself sink. Before she can let her hands grip hard enough to bruise, her nails scratching sharp heat down Jamie’s back, dragging across her clavicle, digging into her hips until Jamie cries out. First, the permission. First, Jamie granting whatever she might need in the form of a long, deep kiss, the press of a palm against her racing heart.

And now, somehow, this: not fully conscious of how she’d wrapped an arm around Jamie’s waist, Jamie rocking slowly against her on the couch, and pushed them both down to the rug. Not fully conscious of how she’d leaned back, watched Jamie watch her with dark eyes, watched Jamie reach to guide her inside again. Not fully conscious of anything except how Jamie had felt, how Jamie had wrapped a hand around the slick addition between her own legs and pressed it into herself with a low sound of such want, Dani had felt her whole body shudder. 

Slow, she’d told herself, somewhere beneath the need, and she’d intended to follow through with Jamie’s usual brand of sweet care. There had been an image in her mind of skin on skin, of Jamie accepting this addition as though it were Dani herself, of the minutes melting away as they moved together. She’d intended--but Jamie had dug insistent fingers into her neck, Jamie saying her name like a plea, and she’d given over to the storm. Had given in to pushing deep into Jamie, to hard, rough thrusts that made Jamie repeat her name again, again, her voice rising.

She is all need now, wholly desperate to taste the salt of Jamie’s skin, to drive Jamie toward making those noises no one else hears. She is solid so long as she is here, painting stripes of heat along Jamie’s shoulder, her neck, her breasts with hard, sharp bites. She is solid so long as she is here, each thrust of her hips calling forth a cry. She is solid so long as she is here, filling Jamie, pushing Jamie higher, dragging from Jamie raw sounds of absolute pleasure even as she grasps Jamie at the small of her back and drags her close.

“There,” she hears Jamie pant, “there, don’t--don’t--”

She slows, deliberately easing back, deliberately meeting Jamie’s eyes. Jamie, whose breath is ragged, whose hair is disheveled, whose expression is glazed as she cranes her neck and bites her lip. 

“I--don’t stop--”

She presses a hand down on Jamie’s chest, grips tight to Jamie’s hip, holds her to the floor. She can feel Jamie pushing at her in return, tiny jerks as she strives for Dani to pick up the pace again. This is the hardest part. The part where she wrests control back, not from Jamie, but from herself. The part where, sliding almost entirely free, she leans back and just looks at her. 

Jamie, chest heaving against her hand. Jamie, thighs slick, body flushed, hands reaching. Jamie, who looks at her with arousal, with understanding, with love.

“It’s you,” Jamie breathes through hitching gasps. “Just you. I promise.”

Dani nods. Dani nods, presses a finger to the glistening mark just beneath the silver of Jamie’s chain, and reminds herself, I did that. I left that. She gripped at my hair and pulled until I bit harder, and she said my name, and it was me. 

“You,” Jamie repeats, reaching to cup her face. “Just you.”

Me, Dani thinks with dim certainty, and then she isn’t thinking anymore. Is only feeling the eagerness with which Jamie accepts her in, the desperate grip of Jamie’s hand clenching at the back of her neck as she stretches out atop her, as she rocks between her thighs with increasingly frantic force. She’s never felt particularly graceful, particularly one with her body, but with Jamie arching under her, Jamie urging her deeper with one leg wound tight around her hips, there is a steadiness she can rely upon. This part belongs not to the beast, not to the storm, but to her alone--to the woman who has been hanging on for dear life. 

She bows her head against Jamie’s shoulder, buries her face in Jamie’s neck, allowing herself to vanish inside the starburst shatter of Jamie’s pulse under her lips, the clench of Jamie around her, the insistent reminder of Jamie’s nails scratching down her own back. Jamie, shifting restlessly, letting Dani rock her entire body with the weight of each thrust. Jamie, heedless of her own volume, her desire as wordless as it is unapologetic. Jamie, giving herself over as Dani pushes her to the edge with relentless momentum.

“It’s you,” Jamie repeats, almost whimpering, her eyes rolling back. “It’s you, it’s always you.”

Dani wants to believe. Needs to know it’s the truth. Needs to trust that every time the storm breaks, every time she spreads Jamie beneath her like this on the floor, pushes her up against the wall, grinds against her in bed, that it is only her. Only her, and nothing else, nothing made of rage and fear and such a terrible loneliness, she can’t breathe around its grip. 

She reaches down, slides herself free, feels Jamie shudder and groan as she rolls aside. 

“Okay?” she asks when Jamie has been silent a long while, her breath evening, her hand groping for Dani’s. Jamie, eyes closed, makes a low sound in her throat. 

“Very.”

Dani turns her head, looks at her, liking the spill of her across the floor this way: naked and spent, sweat running down her neck, her expression blissful. “I got, uh...”

“What you needed,” Jamie finishes, and though those weren’t the words Dani had been looking for--carried away, had been her intent--she isn’t wrong. She smiles, aware of her own blush, aware of her own sheepishness creeping in as the storm abates at last. 

“I did. Yeah. Can you, uh, help me out of this thing?”

Jamie does, gladly, and Jamie kisses her, and Dani feels the world return to its natural state. Jamie, tossing toy and harness aside, bowing between spread legs to kiss her with slow, open strokes until her eyes close and her breath quickens. Jamie, letting a hand tease up her stomach, reaching for the fingers Dani offers. Jamie, licking her slowly clean, drawing forth hitching cries, rocking hips, a slow build to a different sort of release. 

They fall asleep on the floor, Jamie pulling a blanket over them both, and in the morning, Dani feels solid. There is a comfortable ache in her muscles, a less comfortable stiffness to her back. Jamie, shifting on top of her, lets out a low groan. 

“Getting too old for sleepovers on the goddamn floor.”

There is a comfortable silence to go with the comfortable ease of morning routine: Jamie brewing tea with a blanket draped around her shoulders, Dani taking a shower in peace. Her mind is quiet, save for the memory of Jamie grasping around her shoulders for purchase, Jamie groaning for more, Jamie’s back skidding hard against the living room rug. 

She’s going to feel that today, she thinks with idle amusement, and sure enough, Jamie’s shower is christened with a hiss of pain, hot water dragging hard across her back. 

“All right?” she calls through the curtain as she eases a brush through her hair. Jamie laughs. 

“Excellent. Never felt so alive.”

Alive is certainly the word for it--and if Jamie feels invigorated by the memory of last night, by the scorch of rugburn up her back and the throb of marks left on neck and chest and thigh, she isn’t alone. There’s something Dani can’t quite describe about watching Jamie shift into a shirt, breath easing past clenched teeth as the material drags across raw skin. Something about knowing every stain on Jamie’s skin was the result of the storm in Dani, and of Jamie urging her on, Jamie begging her to transfer some of that energy to her own body.

The world is on an even keel now, the air the right amount of warm, her skin fitting properly over her bones--and Jamie looks at her with surreptitious desire. Jamie, who leans back and stretches her arms above her head at the shop, catching Dani’s eye with an expression that says she likes the way the cloth pulls against reddened skin. Jamie, whose collar slips aside just enough to reveal a dark imprint of Dani’s teeth, who reaches up to brush a finger almost absently against that spot with her gaze heady on Dani’s face. 

Give it to me, Jamie always says. Give as much to me as you can. I’ll carry it. Dani can’t. Dani won’t give her what she’s asking for. Some kinds of sacrifice are nontransferable. 

But Dani gives her this. Dani gives her the fallout of each storm, and Dani watches the pleasure in Jamie’s smile the day after. Watches her close her eyes and sigh when Dani lays a hand at the small of her back and forces her shirt to rub against the memory of skin on rug, bumping hard against solid floor. Watches her groan softly when Dani locates the spot just above her waistband where she’d dug in her nails particularly hard, leaving behind small half-moon indentations. Watches her shift her eyes to Dani’s mouth when Dani smiles, both of them too aware of how Dani had bitten down as she’d rocked relentlessly deep, rough enough to make them both cry out. 

Dani gives her the fallout, when she can give nothing else, and Jamie takes it gladly. Jamie, who is sweet even when she is not, who is gentle even if her body offers something fierce and fast. Jamie, whose love is steady, but not stationary--who seems to expand with her as mirrors grow dangerous, as the heavy drift of another creature’s fury blankets Dani’s good sense. 

A day goes by, normal as any other--there are customers and there are conversations, and every so often, there is Dani remembering how good it feels to breathe. How good it feels to stand near Jamie and inhale the same air, to idle a hand near Jamie’s hip and feel Jamie straighten. To lean around Jamie, chest pressing fleetingly to Jamie’s back, and feel her lean eagerly, instinctively backward.

How good it feels to be her--and only her, nothing else tapping at the window or fiddling with the lock. Only her, with the innate, simple power to make Jamie smile with little more than a look. Only her, with the innate, simple power to make Jamie sigh with the briefest kiss. 

Only her, who--even without the reckless sweep of a storm beneath her skin--can take Jamie by the collar in the back room. Can press a thumb to the bloom of bruise on Jamie’s chest, the one which suffers every thump of Jamie’s necklace as she walks about her day. Can watch Jamie’s eyes grow dark with a storm of her own as she presses harder, a reminder of teeth on skin, a reminder of hips pushing deep. 

Jamie, who leans into the touch, eyes flickering shut, tongue tracing her lips. Jamie, who reaches for her in kind and says, “Best be quiet, then.”

And here, a different kind of control: the mutual need cresting between them, coming up hard against the awareness of an unlocked door, a bell that might ring at any moment. The mutual desire to stay here, right here, in a moment that threatens as all moments do to skid away from their joined hands. The mutual desire to taste and tease and feel as alive as two people ever can, Dani pressing into a pre-existing bite with gentle teeth until Jamie whimpers and closes her eyes and lets her head fall back. 

Here, in the aftermath of a storm, she feels whole again. Feels herself again. Feels as though there is nothing carried, nothing burdened, nothing too real to resist shuffling along beneath her skin. It is only a life made well, a life built with careful hands, a life of Jamie’s smile, Jamie’s skin, Jamie’s steady hands on the wheel. Jamie, with a thigh between her own, angling for friction to make her groan. Jamie, with a kiss on her throat that feels too sweet to be allowed. 

She reigns in her voice, allowing herself only muffled gasps, and knows Jamie’s back against the door is aching. Knows Jamie’s hip under her hand is branded with the prints of her fingers. Knows Jamie carries these badges of honor, these reminders of how real Dani is, of how far Dani will let herself spiral out if it means Jamie’s hand will catch her at the end of that rope. 

Storms are unavoidable, she thinks--they grow stronger with each passing year, less predictable, less easy to navigate. Storms come on hard and fast, and they require of her a willingness to lose control before they will move on again. A willingness to to grant to Jamie--who will always give the same right back--something of herself to remind them both she is here. 

The storms, she thinks, are as good as they are daunting. The storms, she thinks, mean she is still present enough to matter. They will not fade over time; they will, instead, grow more, grow harsh and wild and fierce, and she can only hope they will not sweep her away when they do. Can only hope Jamie’s hands on her skin, Jamie’s forehead pressed to her own, Jamie’s heartbeat crashing under her kiss, will be enough solid ground for them both to stand upon.

Give it to me, Jamie seems to whisper, as Dani slides a hand between them and sends her head falling back against the door. Give me as much as you can. I’ll--I’ll--

It isn’t yours to carry, Dani thinks, huffing sharp, skidding breaths down Jamie’s open collar. It isn’t, and it can’t be, and I won’t let it. But this. I can give you this. 

Together, moving as one, soft cries sunk into soft skin, they will wait for it to pass.There is nothing else. Only one day at at time. Only Jamie’s trust that the woman behind her eyes will never falter. Only Dani’s need to be more substantial than she is haunted. 

Jamie fists a hand into her hair, presses hard into searching fingers, and Dani closes her eyes. Lets it all build. Lets it all crest. A return to balance, the only way either of them know how to craft it. 

It can be--must be--will be--enough.

[junova]

↬ 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

pairing: au!steve x fem!reader 

summary: the one where you meet steve rogers. 

word count: 3.8K+ 

[author’s note]: hello my sunshines! welcome to the first installment of a short series i’ve been working on. hope you enjoy reading it as much as i loved writing it! lmk what you think <3 

warnings: angst, slight dose of baby fluff (if u blink), cursing 

*: ･ﾟ ✧*:  ･ﾟ✧ *: ･ﾟ ✧*:  ･ﾟ✧  *: ･ﾟ✧*:  ･ﾟ✧

THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED was a slight shift in priority and truly, it wasn’t a big deal. You understood the two of them worked together, and time had run over. Later in the evening when he returned home, he apologized to you. Forgetting the two of you had plans while he with another woman, but you didn’t let it get under your skin. Above everything else, you trusted him. 

Until the first time moved to the second one, than the third, until you couldn’t keep count of how many times he had ‘forgotten’ the dates the two of you had made. Still, you let it slide. This was your sweet, tender boy. You knew despite the growing tension he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Just like the past couple of months, you chalked it up to him just being too busy. 

It had to be it. 

—

Maybe more than anyone else, you understood. His step-father was pushing all his unrealistic expectations of their first and only child. Continuously pushing him to be the best of the best no matter the cost. Maybe in the past, he would have blamed his parents, specifically his father for pushing him so harshly to attend Winter University. 

He had become resentful towards his father after his first year. He was stressed more than he liked to admit and the pressure to please him was always at an all time high. Heading into his third semester, he wanted nothing more than to drop out. The high intensity of each course he took too much to bear along with the very high expectations everyone in his family had for him. Just waiting for him to either succeed with grace or fail with shame. 

As everyday passed, essay after essay, he regretted the life which was chosen for him. He feared of sounding like a spoiled brat who was gifted the riches of the elite and acted like it was a burden. It certainly was the reason why he never complained. He knew what it meant to have nothing. It didn’t cost a thing. Now with the world at his fingertips it felt it may cost him everything. 

— 

 Tony suggested he should join the soccer team this year, so he did. Just as he was asked. 

It’s not as if joining was ever completely out of question. Steve had played it in high school, but he never thought he would be good to make the team. As it turned out, he was. 

He joined the team and it turned to be a good outlet for him to escape to. When everything seemed too much to juggle, he something in his life to blow off some steam. His roommate, Bucky, even made tryouts himself. 

As the weeks droned by he found a nice balance with his assignments between practices. It certainly wasn’t easy at first, but he adjusted quickly. His body soon became acquainted with waking up for practices at the crack of dawn. Was it enjoyable? Hell no, but Steve was starting to feel like he truly belonged to something. He was part of team. He was part of a unit. He didn’t even knew he craved it until he had it. 

The team captain, Wilson, urged Steve to attend the house party after their first win of the season. He was more than reluctant to attend when Bucky basically all put pushed him out of the dorms. He really did want to go, but the idea of all the assignments he was neglecting while he was partying didn’t quite sit right with him. 

If it didn’t sit right with him, he’s sure it wouldn’t sit well with Tony. 

Before he could offer some half excuse to ditch the party, an ice cold beer was shoved into his hand. Urging him to join the celebration activities. 

So he did. 

He played one too many games of beer pong, indulged himself in a few more drinking games before he felt slightly buzzed. It was the only time he let himself let go and not worry about a damn thing. 

Then a few women came onto him, interested in something more than just platonic company. He took it as his cue to leave. Close to midnight, his muscles tight and restricting due to the game he had played, craving nothing more than to find the comfort his bed could offer. 

He let Bucky know he was leaving so he didn’t worry and started to make his way back. Making his way through the house just moments from stepping out the front door, when he heard a small cry. 

There was a small bar in the room adjacent to entrance Steve was hoping to make a beeline exit for, but then he saw you sitting there. On the countertop with tears in the most captivating eyes he had ever seen. You really didn’t seem to be looking at anyone in particular. Your eyes following the bodies that passed you almost as if you were in a haze. 

You still hadn’t connected the dots on how intently Steve was looking at you and he was more than appreciative. He really didn’t want to be perceived as a creep but you were alone and probably drunk. He just wanted to make sure no one would take advantage of you. 

As carefully as he could, he approached you with a peace offering at hand. He picked up a red velvet cupcake with frosted icing on his way out, planning on munching on the delicious treat on his way home. He sensed maybe you would need it more than he did. 

The moment he stepped forward, you were acutely aware of his presence. His broad shoulders with his muscular build did nothing to diminish the fear you held when he approached you. Not looking at you like you were something to be owned or possessed, but as a bystander just wanting to offer a helping hand. 

He was so much taller than you. Even as you sat on the counter of the bar, as soon as he close to you, his soft eyes connected with yours. Maybe it helped he didn’t lure over you at the moment, he just looked at you. 

Then as if it was the most mundane act in the world, he reach into his back pocket to pull out a silky, lavender handkerchief and handed it over to you. 

“Thank you.” You felt over the handkerchief, smoothing it out between your fingertips. More than hesitant to due so, it felt nice. Expensive, too much for you to be drying your wasteful tears with it. He was offering and you thought it might be rude not to, and you really didn’t trust your voice to say anything more than pleasantries. 

So, you wiped your tears with it and it felt heavenly. Much like the boy in front of you looked. A few minutes passed, and your cries had settled down. The presence of his body protecting you or maybe it’s just what it felt like. He still hadn’t said a word to you. 

Maybe an attempt to not scare you in the other direction. Naively, you thought he might be protecting you in some way shape or form. You knew you could take care of yourself if push came to shove, but the idea that maybe there was still some human decency out there was a nice thought. 

It could be possible not every man preyed on women when they were at their most vulnerable. Of course, this one was wrapped in pretty packaging, so maybe that put you at ease. 

“Do you have a safe way to get home?” Oh? He finally speaks. 

“I can manage just fine.” You chipped, quite shortly to him. Watching him carefully, as he took a step forward. He reached in the same pocket from before, pulling out a small index card, with a number printed on it in small red ink. 

“On the small chance you can’t, ask for Happy and he can take you home. No charge, no hassle.” He then places the cupcake he had been holding in his right hand before placing it where you sat comfortably along with the card, before leaving you alone. 

You watched as he walked out the door, not sparing you a second glance. 

— 

Maybe it was naive to let your mind drift back to the boy who had showed you kindness. Anytime another person spoke to you it was easy to assume they only wanted something from you. Searching for a reason to exploit the dean’s daughter. 

Just two weeks ago when you were caught in a compromising situation you had been set up in, your mom had paid them off before the vulgar photograph spread throughout campus. The way she scolded you still fresh in mind. 

The absolute disregard for your own feelings, but total care for her reputation was nothing short of surprise. Above all, her career had come first and you were just a simple pest threatening to ruin the life she had built. 

Never neglecting to remind you of it. 

You really wish you could just be the like her. Fiercely strong, not putting up with anybody’s shit but you were the complete opposite of her. Weak, fragile, more sensitive than you’d like to be. 

She never quite missed a beat to let you know even if it’s what you wished for. 

Her disappointment weighed heavily on your shoulders that night and Finnick abandoning you for the pretty blonde across the room did nothing to help your self-esteem either. 

So, you sat on the vacant bar and cried. Only because you thought everyone was too engrossed with their preferred vices and the burn of vodka numbing their senses to hear you. 

But a boy with silky, shining hair as golden as the sun sought you out like a moth to a flame. A large part of you waiting for crude, perverted comments to fly right out his mouth with no intention of catching them. 

Then he left as soon as he came, not even leaving his name with you. Not as if you cared, you would never see him again. 

Until you did, two weeks later to be exact. 

Now, you were beginning to think he only came into your life when you seemed like a damsel in distress. Not only did a thunderstorm decide to show up on your supposed date night, but Finnick had decided to be a world colossal dick. 

At this point it shouldn’t surprise you. He had shown you time after time it’s who he was and to think he would change was an idiots’ dream. Your dream, so to speak. This time he crossed the line, pushing you to your brink. 

“Please baby. I’m sorry. It honestly was just a slip up, an oversight. Truly. It won’t happen again.” You regret even picking up his call in the first place. Now more than ever, hearing his sorry excuses wash over once again filled your venom to the brim. 

“I don’t give a fuck what your excuse is, Fin. This is the forth fucking time this week alone. I’m done with your bullshit.” Your anger once again getting the best of you, but you were well within reason to be bitter about him forgetting a date the two of you had planned once again. 

“Can we just talk? I’m finished and I’m free for you.” His tone was small, minuscule, almost like he actually cared he had let you get your hopes up.  

“Go talk to someone who fucking cares, Finnick.��� You hung up on him as he was mid-sentence, because dear god lord help you if it actually became any importance to you. 

Now, it no longer mattered to you. You had given him more chances than you could count, but he always fell short. Maybe you expected more than you should from him. On the other hand, you been with him for over a year. 

If you were you honest with yourself he acted the same as he did before. The only difference is the love had dissipated into dust, no longer letting you be blinded by him. His eyes didn’t glow with love but rather with an emptiness you couldn’t fill. Even if it’s all you wished for.

Now, on this shameful night, you stood outside waiting for a sign. Maybe a beacon of hope letting you know not everything was lost.

Hoping your four year relationship wasn’t tumbling down the drain.

Then you saw him, again.

Just like before you were struck by just how beautiful he is. Without a shadow of a doubt, he was the most attractive man you had ever encountered with.

His build made you recognize him instantly. The man who had given you the handkerchief to remedy the loss you felt that night. An act of kindness which hadn’t been reach out to you in so long.

Now, here you were crying in front of the handsome stranger again. Surely, he would think you were nothing more than a pathetic little girl. 

This time he wasn’t alone which only seemed to triple your embarrassment. Accompanied by a man who seemed to be twice his age, more than likely his father. He hadn’t noticed you yet, thankfully. Even if he had, you doubted he would realize who you were.

He surely could have been drunk or out of his mind on the night he found you. Part of you knew he was of sane mind, but the shameful part of you wished he wasn’t so there would be nothing familiar about you.

Simply, you be a single face in a sea of many.

Fate would not be on your side today, because he approached you. Loudly enough to make his presence known but not too loud to scare you off.

Is this what it felt like to die inside?

He was even more beautiful than last time. A pure vision and by the way he carried himself, he knew it, too. Although, the mysterious blonde wasn’t arrogant but held confidence so infatuating you could help but be intrigued. 

“Here.” He gestures softly, your big doe eyes meeting his own. He held the umbrella under the both of you, shielding you from the pelts of Zeus. “I can’t imagine you would want to get more drenched than you already are.”

Part of you wanted to dismiss him, but you had a feeling he wouldn’t let you even if you tried. Especially from the judgement from the man who was tucked safely by the front door.

Now, that he mentioned it, you hadn’t noticed you brought yourself out onto the curb from the restaurant allowing yourself to be coated in your shame.

The rain, too.

“Thank you. Again. Seems like I only know how to make myself appear as an emotional idiot in front of you.” Now, the two of you so close to one another the concept of breathing was hard for you to grasp.

It wasn’t lost on you the death glare the man he was just with looked at you like vermin. How you could anyone ever be associated with someone who looked as pitiful as you did?

Trust me, I was asking myself the same question.

“Take the handle.” The golden boy guided the umbrella towards you, all but shoving it into your hold. You thought he was going to walk away from you again but he took the moment of his gloved fingertips freed to remove the wool coat off of his muscled back. Carefully, placing the dry material on your shoulders.

He didn’t miss the quizzical frown upon your face, maybe if you weren’t crying you might have been the most stunning women he had ever seen.

Not even the rain could hide those puffy cheeks and under eyes from him. It wasn’t important to him now, not when you were shivering half to death. 

“You’re freezing. You need to warm up.” His fingertip fastened the buttons on the coat, wrapping you in what smelled like him. A musky scent so refreshing you let it consume your senses. Immediately two sleek, jet black town cars pulled up to the curb where you stood by the mysteriously chivalrous man.

“C’mon doll.” He grabbed the umbrella, holding it firm as he reached his free hand out for you ready to take. 

For an unknown reason, you latched on to him. Surprising even yourself.

The older man skipped in front of you opening the door, before hopping in with the man you still didn’t even know the name of.

In hindsight, probably wasn’t the wisest decision you’ve made but there was this underlying feeling. You trusted him. He had given you no reason not to, only providing his aid and care one both occasions.

Mindlessly offering him your address, now aware of how fucked you were if he wasn’t as kind as he seemed to be. Not only were you with one unidentified man, but two.

“Are you okay? Are you still cold?” He peered down at you, his eyes piercing through you with a soft warmth. In stark comparison to the man sitting across from you, his brown hues watching you for any sudden movement.

“I’m warmer now.” He nodded, accepting your affirmation for now. Itching to say more, wondering if you were as well.

The heater inside the vehicle seemed to leave him warmer than he would normally prefer, but kept it on even if it was making his body sweat profusely. Almost worried he might be making you uncomfortable, eyes following yours just to make sure you weren’t looking as he removed the blazer only know allowing his true physique to be exposed.

But god were you fucking looking. 

You knew he was jacked, but to this extent? You didn’t know it was possible to look this good.

As soon as his eyes found your own, shamelessly checking him out, he figured now would be a wonderful time to insert himself in.

“You know, sometimes it’s easier to tell strangers your problems than the people closest to you.” Lowering his voice, so the older gentleman couldn’t hear him. “I-I don’t know why you’d assume I have a problem.” You looked at him and you felt like an unopened book but he still managed to know every little thing about you.

“Just a feeling, maybe. That’s all.” He didn’t bother you again the rest of the ride home and it bugged you. He clearly wanted to say something but he bit his tongue instead. Keeping his hand in his lap, making sure he kept his distance from you.

“Smile snowflake, you’re not getting soaked anymore.” The older man finally addressed you. Focusing his fury gaze upon you, waiting to elicit a certain reaction from you.

Snowflake?

“Tony, leave her be.” He hissed at him. For a moment, you thought he was being protective. He doesn’t know you idiot, think straight for once.

“Why? You decided to bring a stray without my consent. I’m just having fun, Steve.” You didn’t miss the tension growing between the pair, ready to brawl right here in front of you.

Steve.

Why did his name sound familiar to you? Do you know him? Is that why he was being kind to you? Did he somehow know you?

“If you don’t drop this I swear to god, Stark.” Thankfully enough for Steve, Happy interrupted the two men.

“Sir, we’ve arrived at the designated location.” The car coming to a halt and you couldn’t wait to bust out of here. Desperate to dry yourself, hopefully you still had time and you wouldn’t catch a cold.

Just as you feared, it was still pouring down. Fantastic.

“Thank you for the ride, really. You didn’t have to.” Your small, angelic voice barely ascending to a volume loud enough for Steve to hear you. 

His eyes getting lost in you for a moment before looking through the window, the rain morphing itself into larger specs of hail.

“Jesus, it’s still fucking pouring. Let me walk you up.” He reaches towards the umbrella he had tossed into the empty seat.

“Steven. We need to go.” Tony had lowered his voice an octave lower, demanding Steve actually listen to him just this once.

“You can wait two minutes.” Rolling his eyes at him, before he intertwined his hand with your own. “C’mon.”

Held you right against his muscled chest as he pulled you out of the car and into him. Under the umbrella, tucked safely away from getting sick even further. He moved until you were under the protection for your patio. The rain once and for all shielded away.

“I’m sorry about, Tony. He means well but he’s a bit of an asshole.” Steve smiled down, looking like he had just won the lottery. “Really? I couldn’t tell.” Just like that, Steve let out a soft laugh. Showing off his perfectly aligned pearly whites, with a subtly you wished to possess.

“Oh shit! Here.” You begin to take off the coat he lended you, but his calloused hands stopped the gesture.

“Keep it. Please?” He questioned, almost like he was unsure of the words falling out of his mouth.

“Why?” You thought it was a simple question, but he must have stood there for a couple of minutes before actually responding you.

“It really just doesn’t fit me right, would hate for it to go to waste.” He mumbled it out, almost as if he was struggling with the concept of flirting with you.

“Okay, then. I’ll keep it.” You agreed with him, gripping it closer to you. Taking in his smell once again.

“Alright, then. You should get going. Wouldn’t want to keep Tony waiting.” He nodded, stepping away from you, battling a war with himself.

Just do it, dummy. This is your chance.

When you thought he was going to walk away, he took you in his arms. No longer caring about the damage your wet hair may cause to his suit. Not that Steve really cared to begin with.

“You don’t deserve whatever he’s giving you. Just know there’s always something better at the end of the tunnel, maybe even someone else willing to offer you more.” He breathed into your ear, before kissing you sweetly on the cheek.

“I’ll see you soon, angel.”

Leaving with more than enough to think about.

—

taglist: @tonystankschild 

[otomeramblings]

Welcome Home

Pairings: None Characters: Sakuya, Mankai as a whole. Warnings: mentions of abandonment because Sakuya’s relatives suck A/N: @flavovitta​​ posted a really wholesome headcanon yesterday and my brain’s immeadite response was “but what if we made it sad?” so this fic was born.

“Ya’ sure, man?” Banri questioned with a slight raise of his eyebrow.

“Yes! I’ll be right there!” Sakuya’s signature smile was plastered on his face; Banri’s quickly distracted by a notification on his phone and went inside with a quick mumbled “‘kay.” Masumi, on the other hand, stayed behind with a look on his face that many would describe as ‘annoyed’ but Sakuya could discern the tinge of concern and the silent question that hid behind his friend’s usually aloof expression.

“I’ll be okay, Masumi, really. It’ll only take a second,” he reassured him, the corners of his smile softening in response to Masumi’s unspoken worry.

The boy pursed his lips together but nodded nonetheless. As soon as Masumi went through the door, Sakuya accepted the call before she hung up on him. He knew it would only earn him a lecture if he made her wait too long. It was ironic, really, considering that she never really wanted to talk to him in the first place.

“Hi, aunt,” he greeted her.

“You took a while to answer,” she replied with a clipped tone. No “hello”, no “how have you been” and, as he felt how strained his smile had become, he wondered why he even expected anything else.

“Sorry! I just got home from school since class ran a bit long.” They had actually gone to get meat buns from a store Banri frequented since he had insisted to treat them after he found out they had never tried some from that specific place, but he knew she didn’t care and would probably reprimand him because if he had time to go out with friends, he had time to answer the phone, and he had time to study so that the money they put on his education wouldn’t go to waste.

She responded with a non-committal “hmph” and then started going through the usual list of questions. “How were his studies going?”, “Did he need to buy anything else for school?”, “Was he causing trouble for the company that had taken him in?”, “They weren’t gonna change their policy about housing, right? Because he would have to come back home if they started charging them” and the one that always made Sakuya grit his teeth: “Acting isn’t interfering with school, right? Because I know it’s your hobby but remember that it won’t take you anywhere serious in life.” Just like he did every month, he answered each question with a level tone. And just like she did every month, his aunt pretended to be interested in what he said.

It wasn’t until she hung up that Sakuya finally released the tight grip he had on his phone. He let out a deep sigh and felt his shoulders drop; he knew the routine and every step he had to follow to avoid any landmines when talking to his family, but even to this day a small part of him wished they would show even the slightest bit of interest in his life.

“Agh, get it together!” he taped his cheeks in an attempt to make himself snap out of it. That was just the way things were and there was no point in him being moody and making the others feel bad for him. With that thought in mind, he opened the door that led to the living room and he was immediately hit with the smell of chicken broth and vegetables that wafted from the kitchen.

“Uh….I’m back,” he called out while his feet took him in the direction that delicious smell came from.

“Welcome home, Sakuya!” Izumi smiled while she worked on setting the table. “Banri and Masumi said you were answering a call from your family, is everything okay?” Her smile didn’t waver but he could still see the concern that tinted her expression. The director was the only person in the company who had ever interacted with his aunt apart from himself; because of that, he knew there would be no point in trying to lie to her of all people but he still didn’t really want to talk about it so he settled for a shrug and a small grimace.

She didn’t push further, she knew that Sakuya needed his space from time to time, but she did reach up to run her fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead. He jumped slightly -the open and sincere affection he’s been subjected to since he joined Mankai still took him by surprise- but he couldn’t help but lean towards her hand, thankfully for the reassurance her touch brought him.

Suddenly, her grin returned and she started pushing him towards the kitchen. “Omi’s making dinner! Doesn’t it smell wonderful? He asked me to tell you to go to the kitchen once you got home because he wanted to ask you something.” The barely hidden excitement in her voice sparked his curiosity, so he took a small detour to leave his backpack on the couch before going to find Omi.

Omi turned around when he heard his footsteps and beckoned him over with one hand. “Perfect timing, Sakuya. I’m making chicken noodle soup today and I would like your input.”

“Me?” he exclaimed in surprise.

Omi smiled. “Yes, you mentioned this was your favourite, right? I thought it would be best if you tried it first so I know if I have to change anything for next time.”

He had mentioned it, yes, and despite knowing that Omi had already done this for a couple of the others as well, a part of him couldn’t believe he had gone through the same effort for his sake as well. Omi was kind, so kind; all of them were in their own ways, and sometimes Sakuya had to discreetly pinch himself just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

So, after blowing on it, he didn’t hesitate to try the spoonful of soup Omi held in front of his face.

Honestly, when Omi had asked him what his favourite soup was, he almost told him he didn’t have one. He had spent most of his life bouncing from family member to family member, being tossed around like an old family heirloom that had lost its value after the original owners were gone; no one wanted to keep it but everyone was too afraid to throw it out. He was used to having to settle for whatever was handed to him, to not ask for extra things, to not be greedy because he was imposing so much on his relatives already, and that meant that he really didn’t have a lot of favourite things. But then it came to him, a distant memory from the time when his parents were still alive. He was probably around four or five years old and the details had been fuzzy, but he remembered the soup his mom used to make him whenever he caught a cold. That’s what he told Omi and the man had followed his instructions to a T: the broth was a perfect balance of vegetable and chicken, the noodles weren’t too big, and the chicken and the carrots had been cut in smaller than usual pieces because that’s what his mom would for him so he wouldn’t have any problems chewing when he wasn’t feeling well.

Omi’s startled voice brought him back to the present.

“Hey, are you okay? Was it too hot? Was it bad?” Omi had reached over to grip his shoulder and was peering down at him with a concerned frown on his face.

Sakuya was so confused that he almost asked him what he meant but he quickly realised how wet and hot his face felt. He brought a hand to his face and confirmed his suspicions: he was crying; it wasn’t full-on sobbing, but the tears were streaming down his face without him being able to stop them. They weren’t sad tears, no; well, not exactly. He had eaten just one spoonful but that was all it took to make the blurry edges around that old memory suddenly clear, and he was suddenly transported back to his old room, with his mother’s gentle smile and the soft hand on top of his hair. It was just one instant, but he could have sworn that he felt the tender touch of his mother’s lips on his forehead.

He placed his hand on top of Omi’s and smiled through the tears, “It’s perfect, Omi.” He couldn’t think of what else to say, the emotions were overwhelming him; sadness, longing, happiness, and a trace of slight bitterness, all of them were swirling inside of him and he didn’t know where to start. He needed a moment, and while he was calming down the director had come into the kitchen and had begun rubbing his back in a soothing notion; from his peripheral vision, he could also see Masumi and Citron, looking like they wanted to step in but waiting to see what he wanted. He could feel their worried gazes and the warmth of their hands seeping throw his blazer and his shirt and reaching his very insides. It was like his heart was being squeezed inside his chest, but instead of being painful, it felt grounding. He had felt alone for such a long time and he hadn’t realised how much he had gotten used to the cold loneliness that permeated his life since his parents had passed away. His parents weren’t by his side anymore, but as he looked around after wiping his eyes and with Citron draping himself over him and asking him if he was okay, a small smile settled on his face. Yes, his parents were gone, but his new family was now here.

[lifeofkaze]

An Art of Balance #21

Orion Amari x MC

Warning: use of alcohol, underage drinking

A/N: Fabulous Judith belongs to @judediangelo75, KC is the creation of my favourite @kc-needs-coffee and Ira belongs to the queen of OCs @slytherindisaster

Word Count: ~ 3.000

_______________________________________________

Chapter 21: Seizing the Chance

Even behind the closed flaps of the changing room tent, the roar of the crowd was deafening as McNully fired the students gathered on the stands up for the match. Orion had seen the masses of making their way down to the pitch from high up above as the teams had warmed themselves up for what was to come.

It was almost time for the game to begin and Orion gathered his team around the blackboard with their key manoeuvres for their moment of vivification.

“My friends, the time to prove to ourselves of what we are capable of in the face of adversities has almost come. But before I will enlighten you with the wisdom I want you take with you into the air, one of ours has something to unburden her mind from.” He stepped aside and Skye, who had been tugging at the hem of her Quidditch robe while he had been speaking, stood up and took his place.

She took a deep breath before she tried to bury her hands in her pockets as she would often do with her signature jacket; when she realised her robe had none, she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“I’ll make this short,” she said brusquely. “I know I didn’t act the way a teammate is supposed to and I want to apologise. I’m not the only one with stuff on my mind, I see that now. It was wrong to let it out on you guys. Said some things that were not my place to say,” she glanced at Lizzie, who would have had every right to be mad at her, but she just smiled encouragingly, “and I hope that you accept my apology.”

She turned to Orion and rubbed her neck with her gloved hand. “Orion, you are a smashing captain and you’ll know what to do to make us win today. And if anyone is as stupid as I and disrespects you again,” her eyes flickered to Everett and her nostrils flared with indignation, “I’m going to shove a Beater’s bat right up their- “,

“Thank you for your heartfelt words, Skye, I think you made your point,” Orion cut her off hurriedly. Skye glared at Everett one last time before she sat down next to Judith, who muttered “As long as you don’t take mine, go ahead,” under her breath, making Skye grin.

Orion took his place in front of the semicircle of his teammates once again.

“There is little time left before we have to depart, so I, too, will make this shorter than usual. Every one of us knows what is at stake today. I don’t need to set your minds because I can see the fire burning in every single one of you. But beware, my friends, a single flame is not enough to build a fire; I ask you to join our flames together and make our fire blaze brighter than ever before. Let us show Slytherin that our House is not to be messed with.” He gripped the handle of his broomstick tighter as he looked at every single one of his teammates. “Let our fires burn as one, for we are one team!”

“One team!”

*

The team had taken Orion’s vivification speech to heart. Despite all of the problems they had had to deal with beforehand, the Hufflepuff team finally managed what had always been their greatest strength; they moved as one conscient being, every position complementing the others perfectly.

It hadn’t taken them long to carve out a comfortable lead; the tactic Orion had chosen was working splendidly. He had decided to take Skye’s concern into consideration and had assigned each Beater a specific task. Everett was perfectly suited to bang the Bludgers into the Slytherin Chasers with his brutish strength. As soon as they formed anything resembling a formation, he was determined to scatter them.

Judith, on the other hand, had an eye for the flight paths of the Bludgers and was a lot more experienced, so she was set to clear the path for their own Chasers to score.

And score they did; the Slytherin Keeper was known to be the strongest asset of their team. But fortunately for them, he didn’t seem to be in the best of forms today. More than one shot, that he usually would have deflected, found its way past him, the enchanted rings lighting up along with the roar of the crowd.

“And Amari scores with a spectacular off-hand throw!” Murphy shouted from the commentary box, “The score now stands at 100 to 40 for Hufflepuff! If the Slytherin defence doesn’t get these Chasers under control very soon, our chances at a new record score for this season lie at an impressive 68.9 %.”

McNully was right; the rut of their best player had unsettled the Slytherin performance gravely and Orion and his teammates were ruthlessly using their opponents’ disorder to their advantage.

Orion himself had scored quite a few times already. But Lizzie and Skye were a force to be reckoned with today; they were tearing around the pitch on their Comets and every Bludger sent after them was immediately deflected by Judith, who seemed to have her eyes everywhere.

It was unbelievable how well she and Everett were working together despite their differences. Everett had just beaten an attacking Bludger in Judith’s direction, who diverted its flight path into the forming formation of the Slytherin Chasers.

McNully completely lost it as he commented on the events unfolding in front of him. “What an incredible display of teamwork! The Hufflepuff Beaters show off their newest attack: Everett sends his Bludger over to Harris with force; Harris deflects with a well measured swing of her bat! The Bludger changes direction and oooh- “ he winced audibly as the crowd erupted in cheers, “that must have hurt! The Bludger’s change of direction was 82.5 % unpredictable and hits home as it scatters the wavering arrowhead formation of the Slytherin team! A tactical masterpiece if I might say so!”

Orion suppressed a laugh; as if McNully hadn’t made sure Judith and Everett had his new manoeuvre understood to a tee before letting them test it out in a real match situation.

One of the attacked Chaser had dropped the Quaffle and Orion raced towards it, snatching it out of the air only moments before the Slytherin Chaser reached for it again. They nearly collided mid-air, but Orion managed to lean sideways at the last moment; half hanging sideways of his broom, the other player zoomed over him without contact.

He swung himself back into an upright position and gripped the Quaffle tighter as he whipped his broom around on his way to Slytherin goalposts once more. But this time, the Keeper had guessed the ring Orion was going for and managed to block the Quaffle. He sent it back into the game with a well-practised kick of his foot.

It was too far away for him to reach in time, but he saw Lizzie react immediately. As the Quaffle flew over her head just inches out of her reach, she pushed herself off her broomstick and hopped onto the handle without giving it a second thought. Standing up, she was able to interject the pass and claim the Quaffle for herself.

Still balancing on her broom, she ducked under the Bludgers sent in her direction and started surfing back towards the goalposts at ridiculous speed. The Keeper looked surprised at her attack, but steadied himself as she approached.

Lizzie knew exactly what she was doing, though; crouching down low, she shifted her weight just enough for her Comet to change direction at the last moment. She held her stance as she performed a barrel roll, using the momentum to shoot the Quaffle through one of the rings.

With complete trust in her footing, he heard her cheer as she surfed past the screaming Hufflepuff stands. With a grin, Orion remembered how many times she’d fallen when he had taught her his favourite move all those years ago; unbelievable how far the tenacious girl with no idea about Quidditch had come.

“Jameson scores for Hufflepuff, raising the score to 110 to 40! And what a show she’s giving us!” Murphy jubilated as Lizzie zoomed past the commentary box.

“According to my facts, we haven’t seen Jameson score that way for seven House matches in a row. This marvellous feat of flying even sends the master of this technique into daydreams it seems,” McNully’s voice was vibrating with badly contained laughter before it grew serious again, “but they could quickly turn into a nightmare as a Bludger is headed on its way to see whether Amari can hold onto his broomstick quite as well as Jameson.”

Orion snapped out of his musings and had just enough time to dodge the Bludger that zoomed past his head. Judith followed it immediately to get hold of it; however, the Slytherin Chaser she directed it against still had the time to pass his Quaffle onto his teammate.

Before he could set after it, Lizzie shot past him, her hair trailing behind her in the wind. She turned around for a split second, her eyes meeting his.

“Focus, Captain!” he heard her snap at him before she concentrated on bumping into her opponent to relieve him of his charge.

Right she was; Orion cleared his mind as he set after her, catching the Quaffle she passed him with one hand. They had a game to win.

*

It only got worse for Slytherin as the match progressed. Although they did manage to score a few goals against Hufflepuff eventually, with every goal they received in turn, the confusion grew between them. They had been off track before, but trailing so far behind a team they had deemed an easy win had their own players turn against themselves.

Their youngest Chaser, a brutish boy named Marcus Flint, was on the verge of picking a fight with his Beater for allowing a Bludger to hit him, when all eyes on the pitch suddenly turned on Lucy and the Slytherin Seeker, who were in a head to head race for a tiny golden spec glittering in the sunlight below the Gryffindor stands.

“This match could find a preliminary end as the Seekers of both teams appear to have spotted the Golden Snitch!” Murphy exclaimed. The Slytherin Seeker was slightly in advance and if she were to reach the Snitch first, all their scoring would have been for nothing; Hufflepuff had a comfortable lead, but it wasn’t enough to cushion a boost of 150 points.

The stadium had fallen completely silent as everyone’s eyes were glued to the two girls racing for the Snitch. The Seeker in the emerald robes already had her hand outstretched, when all of a sudden a Bludger from Everett hit the handle of her broomstick, knocking her clean off. Luckily, they weren’t high enough to do her much damage as she fell to the soft lawn underneath her.

Lucy didn’t miss a beat as her opponent fell; she was lying almost flat on her broom to get all the speed out of it that she could. When her fingers were only inches away from the Snitch, she pushed herself against the footrests of her broom to give herself the reach she needed.

Orion couldn’t see properly what she was doing but was spared further guessing when Lucy’s scream of triumph carried through the air and the whole stadium went into a frenzy as she presented the gleaming Snitch in her raised fist.

“O’Connell gives it her all and succeeds! The match is over!” Murphy’s voice almost cracked as he shouted over the noise of the crowd. “Hufflepuff gains 150 points and wins with a crushing score of 310 to 70. Dear spectators, if you allow me a calculation on the top of my head, I’d say we have a new contender for the Quidditch Cup!”

*

To nobody’s surprise, Murphy’s calculation had been completely right. They had been able to score so many points against Slytherin that Hufflepuff was back in the game for the Cup. As Gryffindor had been able to rack up a spectacular victory against Ravenclaw in one of the shortest matches Lizzie had ever seen, their last game of the season would simultaneously be the final showdown for the priced trophy.

When the team had entered their Common Room after properly celebrating among themselves first, they had been greeted by thundering applause and chants. Contrary to the last post-match party, everyone was pumped and the atmosphere exhilarated. Tulip and a few other Ravenclaws had decided to join their celebration as well; it wasn’t particularly difficult to gain entrance to the Hufflepuff Common Room after all. She and Tonks had wasted no time and had poured some Firewhiskey into the gigantic, self-refilling bowl of punch in the middle of the room.

Lizzie had already drunk more than her fair share of it. They had celebrated with a round of butterbeers in the Changing Room directly after returning from the pitch and by now, her head felt fuzzy and her cheeks were flushed from both the heated air in the room and the Firewhiskey warming her from the inside. She was glad the alcohol numbed the countless bruises and cuts littering her body; it was no secret Slytherin knew how to play rough and the frustration at the course of the match hadn’t improved their physical gameplay.

Ira, one of the other Hufflepuff girls in Lizzie’s year, had lectured Lizzie, about her carelessness when she had patched her up, like she always did. She had a natural gift for Herbology and healing and often took care of the minor injuries all of them brought back from the pitch. Her abilities and Penny’s secretly brewed Wiggenweld Potions had more than once spared Lizzie a trip to the Hospital Wing.

Lizzie and Penny were standing near the refreshment table with Skye and a few other Hufflepuffs. All the attention was fixed on Skye, who was recounting the highlights of the match under full usage of her body; just like Lizzie, the combination of adrenaline and alcohol had gone straight to her head.

She was just now replaying the way Lizzie had scored her goal whilst broom surfing, mimicking McNully’s commenting style as she re-enacted the scene. Feeling embarrassed at the praise, Lizzie dropped her eyes.

“You’re exaggerating, Parkin,” she mumbled.

“Only a little,” Skye shrugged, before resuming the show for her onlookers.

“She’s right,” Penny agreed, “you were amazing today, Liz. Rowan and I were screaming our heads off when you scored that goal.”

Lizzie blushed. “Where is Rowan anyway?” She hadn’t seen her friend since lunch.

“She’s got prefect duty tonight,” Penny answered. “She left before you guys came back.”

To say she wasn’t a little bit glad that Rowan wasn’t here would have been a lie. For whatever reason, Rowan had been in a particularly good mood ever since yesterday evening. And while it was good to see her so happy, Lizzie wasn’t in the mood for her ramblings right now; especially if they revolved around Orion, like they so often did these days.

She hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and was really starting to feel the effects of the alcohol; she felt lightheaded and wondered if it was a good idea to get as wasted as she already was. Lizzie knew she was prone to rambling about things better left unsaid when she was drunk and she had amassed quite a collection of things that had better stay a secret. It took a lot of concentration from her side to not lose track of what version of the truth she had told to whom and her hazy mind didn’t make things easier.

But Rowan not being in the Common Room tonight meant she could relax just a little bit more and Penny was right; she had performed really well today and earned herself a bit of laid-back fun with her friends.

Her eyes scanned the crowd for Orion without really thinking about it. The last time she’d seen him, he had been with Murphy and KC, who had been amongst the Ravenclaws that had arrived with Tulip. A smile tugged at Lizzie’s lips as she saw the red haired Beater sitting on Murphy’s lap, engaged in a little bit more than a heated discussion.

As the door leading out of the Common Room opened, the movement caught Lizzie’s eye. She could just make out the familiar figure of Orion before he vanished in the darkness of the tunnel that connected Hufflepuff House to the rest of the castle.

Penny had seen him leaving as well. “Seems like Orion needs a break from the adoring masses.”

Lizzie only hummed in response, her eyes still fixed to the now closed door.

“Maybe he’d like some company,” Penny suggested with a smirk.

Lizzie tore her eyes from the exit and turned to her. “What do you mean?”

Penny only raised her eyebrows in response.

Lizzie gripped her cup tighter. “I’m not sure that’d be a good idea.”

Gently prying her cup out of her hands, Penny nudged her in the direction of the door. “Just go.”

She stared at the encouraging expression on Penny’s face. It was a bad idea; she should really stay here where she couldn’t do anything stupid.

With an inward curse, she grabbed her drink back from Penny’s hands and downed the remains of it in one go. She shuddered from the strong taste as she put the empty cup down on the table.

Such a bad idea.

Before she could change her mind, Lizzie pushed herself away from the table and through the crowd, slipping quietly through the round door.

[dreamii-yume]

Hello, may I request a sinfic of MC with Ace and Deuce? if you don't mind a little bit of bondage and gagging, would you please incorporate that in the fic?? And of course non-con, Thank you~

Note : To make my life a little easier, I decided to take Grimm and the ghosts out of Ramshackle Dorm in this Sinfic. Pretend Ace and Deuce temporarily threw Grimm to Scarabia to eat and exterminated the ghosts or something (￣∀￣)

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Ace and Deuce was in for shock when they went to the Ramshackle Dorm, realising they had similar plans in regards with their Darling.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Entering the Ramshackle dorm, Ace only had one goal in mind.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t to see his friend, Deuce stealing a kiss from your sleeping figure on the bed.

Ace had seen worse things in his lifetime, if this was a movie, then he would definitely think that Deuce had made such a cute move. A simple kiss like that was innocent and there was nothing to be so worked up over. However, at this moment, Ace felt his body went on autopilot, due to the immense rage that suddenly boiled up inside of him. His expression twisted from utter shock to his eyebrow scrunching down, pupils dilating, and teeth gritting in a matter of a second. It didn’t take too long before he took heavy steps forward, getting faster and faster, gaining momentum.

Poor Deuce was too late to notice the orange ball of rage charging towards him and successfully landing a blow on him. Ace tackled him down, his clenched fist colliding in with his cheeks, holding max capacity force. Deuce roughly stumbled down in the creaky floors, making such a loud sound. Before he could even recover from such a surprise attack, Ace roughly lifted him up by grabbing his collar. He was on top of him, his eyes glaring down at him with pure hatred.

“What in the hell are you doing!?” He yelled, his rage blaring in his voice.

Deuce winced as the sting on his cheeks had finally hit him. “T-This isn’t...!” He started, but he couldn’t find the right words to say as his eyes shifted between the raging Ace before him and your sleeping figure on the bed. When he arrived alone, he didn’t expect someone to visit, which was why he specifically chose this time of night. Deuce did not prepare any words of excuse.

“You bastard...!” Ace somehow knew that he didn’t have enough excuse to give, not that he was going to accept anything either way. He raised a fist to land another punch but now that Deuce was more aware of his surroundings and being an overall experienced fighter, he immediately blocked his attack.

They struggled with each other, Deuce kicking and punching himself free while Ace resisted against him while keeping him down. No words were made to truly justify their positions as they kept on inflicting bruises within one other. It was a matter of time before Deuce felt like he was going to blow a fuse. One moment he was peacefully admiring your sleeping face and now, Ace suddenly came into the picture, punching him without a reason. Deuce gritted his teeth as irritation finally reached him and he could feel his violent side being triggered.

Reaching the final straw, Deuce grabbed Ace’s shoulders and violently bashed his own forehead onto the guy. Tremors of shockwave went through their bodies but unfortunately for Ace, Deuce was more experience in things like this and immediately took the upper hand against him. He harshly slammed Ace down to the floor, similar on how the orange haired guy did to him. “What the hell’s wrong with you!?” Deuce yelled, blood trickling down on both their forehead, the same injury they got from such a violent headbutt. “Coming in here and attacking so suddenly...!”

Ace gritted his teeth together as he thrashed around in his hold. “I could say the same for you, asshole!” He yelled back, Deuce having a legitimately difficult time holding him down. “Just who the hell do you think you are!? Kissing (Y/N) like that!”

Deuce flushed red, being caught red-handed before glaring down at Ace. “...S-So, what!? Alright! I kissed her! What does that have to do with you!” He yelled. “Why are you acting so worked up about it!?”

Ace then reached for his hair and rolled Deuce over to get on top of him, once again, he was the one holding him down. “I...!” Ace gritted his teeth, pausing in mid-rage, trying to think of the proper words to say but ending up in flabbergasted mess. “E-Even I...! Even I wanted to kiss (Y/N) like that too!”

That’s when Deuce froze at what Ace was trying to say and blinked repeatedly. Ace stopped too, slowly realizing what he just said and flushed red in embarrassment. “Ace, are you...” Deuce started, however both men froze when they heard the creaking of the bed behind them.

They both turned around and realized you were shifting on your sleeping position, groaning. From all the noises they were making, it was no wonder that you would wake up and both Ace and Deuce froze in their spot, panicking on what they should do. Soon, you sat up from the bed, rubbing your eyes groggily and turned to the direction of the commotion. “...Ace...? Deuce...?” You called but was more of a question as you squinted your eyes, trying to see them in the darkness. Due to the distinctive color of their hair, you safely concluded their identities. “...What...What are you guys...doing here...?”

Deuce was thinking of things to say, but much like his encounter with Ace, he wasn’t prepared for a confrontation such as this one. Thankfully, Ace seemed to be well-prepared for this moment and suddenly slammed Deuce’s face on the floor, seeing that he was caught in the moment. Taking advantage of the blue-haired guy’s off-guard scene, Ace quickly scooted himself and grab his bag that he dropped nearby, rummaging inside. You flinched as you heard Deuce yelp, followed by an intense creaking sound of the floor, you looked around, suddenly jolting awake. Before you knew it, Ace was in front of you and tackled you down to the bed.

“A-Ace- Mmph-!?” You exclaimed in surprise as he grabbed the back of your head and covered you mouth and nose with a piece of moist cloth. Upon sensing that sweet-smelling sensation in the cloth, you instantly thrashed around his hold, your instincts kicking in. Something tells you that this was a dangerous potion to be even breath in.

Deuce sat up, rubbing his head to keep himself from getting dizzy and looked up, only to see you struggling to not get suffocated by Ace himself. “H-Hey...! Ace! What are you...!” He called as he slowly stood up, keeping his balance. “Stop...! Ace! Prefect is going to...”

However, Deuce had found himself slowing down to a stop when he was at a distance where he can pull Ace away from you so easily. His body wouldn’t move, not making any effort to help you when you’re practically running out of breath in front of him. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but watch wide-eyed. He watched as you look at him with desperate eyes, internally screaming for help. What was wrong with him?

It was like he wanted this to happen as well.

You tried reaching out for Deuce, eyes tearing up as Ace adjusted his hold on you, pressing the cloth onto you even more. You wanted him to pull you away, Deuce knew that, you were desperate for help. Ace looked back at him with something that no one else could understand in his eyes, but Deuce did for some reason. Therefore, with a gulp, Deuce reached back for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.

And he simply smiled.

Deuce smiled gently, almost apologetic, as you slowly brought your eyes to a close and your breathing calmed down. An overwhelming amount of lethargy came down upon you as the potion finally had done its magic. Your hand went limp, with gravity pulling them down but Deuce kept holding onto it. Your head hanged over Ace’s shoulder as he removed the cloth from your face, ensuring that you were now overtaken by an irresistible urge to sleep. Slumber had taken you with open arms, leaving your body vulnerable with the two men in the room.

Ace turned towards Deuce, glaring at him as he greedily snatched your hands off him. The blue haired guy merely looked at him with a serious look in his eyes. “Ace...What are you planning to do?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at him. “Why did you come here for?”

Ace possessively gripped your sleeping figure in his arms tighter. “You’re hella creepy, you know that? First, I see you stealing a kiss from (Y/N) and then when she was obviously asking for your help, you just stood there, holding her hand and smiling like an idiot.” He said, narrowing his look as his voice felt as if it was spitting out venom. “I have my reasons why I’m here but why are YOU here?”

That kept Deuce quiet, gulping down as he himself couldn’t say a logical reason as always. No reason for not helping you as you struggled by the hands of Ace and a reason why he’s here. He couldn’t simply say that he was visiting, not in the middle of the night like this, because he knew it would be an obvious lie, especially to Ace. He also could not say that he doesn’t know what to do about helping you out, he was literally inches away from Ace and one punch was enough to get him off you. No, he was well-aware of the reason he was here, he just couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.

When he kept quiet, Ace just sighed and laid you back to the bed. He grabbed his bag, rummaging inside for another item so casually, as if Deuce wasn’t even in the same room as he is. “If you don’t have anything else to do, then why don’t you leave already? The sleeping potion that I gave (Y/N) doesn’t last long, I need to work fast.” Ace said as Deuce widened his eyes in surprise when he saw him pulling out a rope from his bag. “Go away already, we don’t need an audience. I’ll turn a blind eye with what you did for now.”

“Like hell I will! What are you going to do with that!?” Deuce yelled as he grabbed you by the hands, an attempt to protect you but Ace slapped his hand away.

“Get your fucking hands off her.” Ace dangerously glared at him. “I will kill you.”

Instead of getting intimidated however, Deuce’s eye twitched in annoyance as he slapped Ace’s hands back and put his hands in front of you in a protective manner. His eyes became equally dangerous, challenging the different side of him. “I’d like to see you try.” He growled.

They glared at each other, one not backing from the other. If they were like this in their normal lives, they seemed to be better off to be in Savanaclaw instead of Heartslabyul. Their bloodlust was so intense that people would start to forget that these two were friends in first place. They were about to move, probably to grab each other’s throats once again until you moved in your sleep which cause the two of them, Ace especially, to snap out of their murderous thoughts. Ace looked at you and clicked his tongue, realizing he was running out of time.

“Shit, I don’t have time for this.” Ace said as he grabbed your hands and the rope once again, ignoring Deuce for now, despite his complaints. Then, a thought went up in his head as he shifted his gaze onto the said guy. After a while of hesitation, Ace threw the string of heavy rope at him, in which Deuce confusingly caught. Ace flipped you by the stomach and grabbed your wrists together behind your back. “Tie her up really tight. Hurry.”

“Wha-!?” Deuce blinked as his look shifted between the ropes, to Ace, and your body. Visible confusion and panic went up his face. “What are you-!?”

“Cut the bullshit already! I can’t waste any more time!” Ace finally snapped at him. “Isn’t this what you came here for anyways!?”

“Huh!? T-That’s not-!”

“Then, what!? What did you come here for then!?” Deuce flinched at his seriously pissed voice a he could practically see a vein popping out of his forehead. “What, you think it’s cute to kiss girls in their sleep at the middle of the night!? As far as I know, no one in their right mind would that!”

“I came here to do this! To make (Y/N) mine whether she likes it or not because I’m that batshit crazy!” Ace admitted which caught Deuce off-guard but then, he continued, intentionally nailing his point in him. “And just for your actions earlier, I can make a pretty good guess that you’re just as fucked in the head as I am!”

“Now, hurry up and just do what I say!”

Deuce gripped the rope tight as he couldn’t believe Ace just said something like that. He wasn’t an emotional person, but he was the brutally honest one. But he couldn’t afford to be in denial now, everything he had said was true and that was what frustrates Deuce. With a heavy sigh, he glared at Ace who didn’t hesitate to glare back. “...This is not a very honor student thing to do...” He complained as he loosened the rope finding the end to wrap them around your body. “(Y/N) won’t like this when she wakes up.”

“I know.” Ace said, positioning your hand carefully so you wouldn’t have to break anything when you gain consciousness again.

“That’s why it’s our job to make sure she will.”

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Continue the Spice~?

Yo, I don’t reach the deadlines I give myself at all but July 1?

[arcanescholar]

Hard To Find The Right Words

Omori Post True Good Ending Spoilers. 

Aubrey having a tough time, etc etc. Enjoy maybe??? Might get more chapters later if I feel like it???????????? FUCK????????????

Ch 2 

On the long, long list of “shit Aubrey’s had to put up with” for the past few days…

This special, insidious sort of dizziness has gotta be a new one. Seriously, give a girl a break right? Who the fuck is able to handle this many highs and lows at once? It’s enough to make her head spin, and the hospital taking her bat away wasn’t helping matters.

The words that tumbled from Sunny’s placid, stony expression, his singular eye barely betraying the shaky, unsteady difficulty in handling recounting the story, made her stomach turn.

Shit, what a time to be thinking about what she had for lunch. If it comes back up right now she might straight up die of embarrassment y’know?

She couldn’t even turn her attention to Kel or Hero but, with the way the younger had to take a step back and struggle to find any words, and how the elder seemed to freeze like a statue, she had a feeling they were in just as bad of a spot.

“… and, that’s what happened.”

Sunny finally finishes recounting his story, and before he can say another word, Hero is already lunging, Ken barely able to snag his less-in-shape brother before he gets the chance to do whatever he was about to.

Aubrey, though…?

Years of anger, years of hatred and fury and bottled up impatience, a near lifetime of bitterness bubbles in her gut and sends her vision swimming.

Huh.

She just remembered, it was pizza.

Weird, why is Sunny getting so much taller? Kel? Hero? How come her knees started hurting suddenly-

Oh.

Oh, her legs gave out. That makes sense. God, her hair’s getting in her eyes, was it already starting to lose its color? Why is it so hard to focus on anything right now? She should be pissed! She should be picking up hospital equipment and chucking it out a window right now! So why can’t she move?! Why?!

For once, Aubrey can’t summon up her anger. For the first time in who only knows how long, she feels like the scared little girl that had to hide away when holes got punched into walls, that covered her head in her room and squeezed herself into a corner with her rabbit when the arguing got too loud. Her breath catches in her throat and refuses to let up. Is she going to die?

She can’t handle this again. Not now. She’s not strong enough, she’s not tough enough to deal with this-

….

Pap

… A hand rests against her head. That brief touch is enough to peel back the veil and drag focus back kicking and screaming into reality. She almost reflexively goes to turn and smack the hand out of the way, only to realize part way through her turn that it was just Basil’s arm, flopping out from the mattress and accidentally brushing against her head for a moment. The boy was still asleep, still a mess of injuries that made her nearly throw up seeing him in that state.

She might have bullied him, fantasized about beating him to an inch of his life, thought about crushing that bat of hers against his skull more times than she could count. She might have turned that weapon on Kel and Sunny both at least once before, but…

Seeing him like this, seeing Sunny with that eye patch, having lost sight in one of his eyes for what might be the rest of his life?

…

She takes Basil’s hand in hers and carefully stands up. Hero and Kel had been shouting for at least a minute now, she’s not sure how long it’s been since they started processing what happened in their own way. A shove is all Hero needs to finally get out of Kel’s grip, giving him time to damn near sprint out of the room, tackling the door hard enough to almost knock it off of its hinges before dashing out of the room.

Almost without thinking, Kel dips out, rushing after his brother with words that only come across like muffled noises in Aubrey’s ears.

… … …

There was a time when she confided in Mari, a time when she spoke to her about what was happening back at home, she remembered the pain in the older girl’s face, and the words she told her as she let Aubrey rest her head in her lap one quiet afternoon, just between the two of them.

“It’s not my place to say, but… If I could, I’d adopt you right now and give you the biggest welcome to the family hug I could…! Family should never hurt family. No one should ever raise a hand to a loved one and mean it, and the fact that they’re scaring you like that just isn’t right…” The older sister murmured at the time. Aubrey remembers now, Mari brushed her fingers through her hair in a really specific and special way that she almost forgot about.

It was like tracing little circles into her skin with her fingers, like trying to massage the fear from her brain, reaching in deep and grasping the wellspring of her despair and coaxing it out to let her think clearly again…

“When you get older… When things seem tough and scary and you don’t know what to do, that you feel like you’ve got nowhere else you can turn to. You might want to get mad, you might get really furious at having to deal with so much as a kid, but… Promise me, you won’t turn that anger on your friends, okay? Take a breath-”

… Haaaaahhh…

“-center yourself-”

Aubrey gives Basil’s hand a light squeeze. She can hear the hum of medical equipment and the sound of Hero and Kel’s footsteps retreating again.

“-and remember all the precious people you have in your life.”

She wasn’t the sort to pay the most attention to school, but, in this moment, a line she read in a book she had to read a few weeks back crosses her mind again.

“They asked, ‘do you love her to death’? And I said ‘speak of her over my grave, and watch how she brings me back to life’.” (1)

Funny how things dredge up in your memory at the weirdest possible moments, she thinks. For the first time, she’s starting to understand at least some of what those words really mean. 

…

After a moment, she carefully tucks Basil’s hand back into the bed, before letting loose a light huff through her nose. He’s still sleeping, if a bit more fitfully from all the noise.

“… Kh. Don’t gotta remind me like that y’know? Puts a bad taste in my mouth…” She nearly spits, trying to mask herself with bitterness.

It wouldn’t be long before hospital security came to drag Sunny back to his bed and cut this conversation short, she had to act fast.

She steps forward, and without hesitation, reaches up… and presses her hand on Sunny’s head, rubbing her fingers through his hair, tracing circles and massaging with a silent, stony expression that matches his own. She was still sick to her stomach, her balance was still terrifically uneasy, but…

“… I’ll come talk to you again later, okay?”

She pulls her hand back, and gives him a light punch to his shoulder before stepping out of the room.

“For what it’s worth…” She says, pausing in the door frame as she hears the sounds of shoes squeaking against tile flooring as the hospital staff finally approaches to do their damn jobs.

“I kinda get it. I understand it. I’ve been there. I’m not good at talking about this kind of thing, but, if you need to talk, I can give listening a try... this time.”

Sunny was going to leave after he recovered enough for the hospital to let him loose with his frankly fucking negligent mom. There was nothing she could do that would change that, but…

At least for now, at least while he was still recovering in the hospital, she could finally, actually speak to him.

“… Thanks for opening up Sunny. Give Hero a bit. That guy’s so strung up trying to be the best of us that I guess even he’s gotta snap at some point right?”

Says the girl trying to play mom-friend to the most broken-ass friend group in the tristate area. Christ, trying to be a decent person sucks. How the fuck did Hero pull it off for so damn long?

“Aubrey…”

“Yeah Sunny?”

“… thank you. I’m sorry.”

“Kh, fuck that, I almost drowned both you and Basil. If I started whining about accidents that happened in fits of rage I’d be the worst hypocrite in history, y’know?”

“…”

“Talk to Basil and let him know what happened if he wakes up before the staff drag you back to your room or something. I’ll let ‘em know you need a sec.”

With that, she carefully shuts the door.

What she says to the staff, what kind of look she gives them is growled with enough force and tinged with enough protective violence that it gives them just enough pause for the young boys to exchange an all too important smile of mutual understanding. 

Even if Aubrey never saw it, that little moment of clarity between them saved both of their lives in a way she’d refuse to take credit for helping make happen, knowing her.

A busted, crappy, cracked-screen phone buzzes to life as she walks past the staff. God, she fucking hates it here. The way her shoes hit the tiles, the way the equipment sounds, the fact that every time she’s come here, she’s ended up crying for some reason or another-

Shit, here come the water works now. Damn it Aubrey, at least make it out the door first-

A trip and a tumble nearly sends her falling straight to the floor but, she snaps out her hand just in time to snatch onto a handrail on the side of one of the hallways, her head still spinning as she sags against the floor, her phone toppling out of her jacket’s pocket and landing on its back with a loud, spinning clatter, settling in upside down to her perspective. Tear drops spatter onto the screen, distorting the light and scattering rainbow patterns across its surface. Gah. Add that to the damage. This just isn’t her day. 

Behind a call notification, her background shows the cork board in her room with the pictures she yanked out of Basil’s album after saving them from their near ruined state, mixed in with pictures of her and her other friends she made in the time that passed since. A little bubble on the screen bounces about, showing a picture of Kim flashing a peace sign with a bright eyed wink that reflects in Aubrey’s tired eyes, refracting as it passes underneath her teardrops.  “… Hhfffhh…”

She eventually picks her phone up off the ground and answers it. A hospital staffer looks about ready to tell her off for using her phone in the hallway but, lets be honest.

The kind of glare Aubrey gives off as she very deliberately swipes her finger across the screen to accept the call is the sort that would give most adults pause.

“… Hey.”

“Aubrey!!!! You finally picked up!!!”

“…”

“I was so worried when I heard about what happened! Kh, stupid hospital not letting us in…!”

“…”

“… Aubrey? Are you there? I can kinda hear you breathing so you probably didn’t butt-accept the call or something!”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m here.”

“Jeez, how come you weren’t saying anything? Did those ner-”

An audible pause. Kim clears her throat after a second.

“Sorry, uh, did those guys get out of the woods okay…? I kinda only caught the cliffnotes of you going to the hospital from that text you sent me so…”

“They’re fine.”

Aubrey steps outside the hospital’s visiting center doors and finally breathes fresh air for the first time in what felt like days.

“Or… They’re as fine as they can be. Sort of. Kinda.” She continues, stepping over to one of the benches outside and taking a seat, drinking in the sounds of chirping birds, gentle breezes, swaying trees, and the sensation of warm sunlight… It was a beautiful day, and she didn’t feel nearly good enough to appreciate any of it.

“That’s good at least yeah? Uh… Hrmggh. I’m bad at this kinda thing but… Uh. If there’s anything you need to talk about, you can hit me and the others up at any time yeah?”

Kim’s voice was surprisingly tender, tender enough that it manages to draw a sniff out from Aubrey, forcing her to bring a hand up to her eyes and rub it across them to make sure she didn’t show any tears yet god damn it-

Ugh. Where’s Kel’s Taurine soaked brain anyway. He’s better about handling this kinda energy! Does- shit, does he even like energy drinks?

“Aubreeeeey, if you keep going silent I’m gonna think someone kidnapped you y’know. Gotta pull the whole gang together, beat up on the nearest creepos till we find you! The Maverick’s got a Style Meter App on his phone that does those shouts from that one game so we’ll even get t’ have our own hype-men-”

The thought of Michael in a parking lot with a buffer sword in one hand and a phone in the other trying to do combos for a video to put on his Way Too Many Social Media accounts hits Aubrey with a second hand cringe that nearly brings her to her knees.

“UGGGHHHH!” Aubrey finally cracks, a doofy grin hitting her lips despite her audible mental suffering, slumping back in the chair and nearly sliding out of it entirely, a few tears finally trickling down her eyes as her body releases its tension at last.

“I can’t believe that try hard seriously sprung for something like that. If he tries that shit in public in front of me I’m making’ his screen look like mine.” Aubrey finally grumbles, adjusting her bow. “… Right, I left my bat at home. Ugh.”

“There we go! Now you’re talking’ again. Jeez, way to make a girl worry… Charlene was getting ready to find some flowers to give to you too, the sweetheart.”

“She’s more of an angel than Angel is…”

“Right?! Maybe we should make Angel give up on his nickname-”

“Don’t bother, Charlene’d never let him do it.”

“You’re so right it’s actually kinda annoying.”

“She’s the best of us, y’know.”

“…”

“…”

“So, can you like, talk about what happened at all now or…?”

“… Hang out spot, by the lake, be there in 20.”

“Should I bring the rest of the group-”

“Not this time, Kim.”

The call ends without another word, another ping showing on her phone’s screen showing string of texts from Kel.

JrangeOoe: hey!!!!! ;v;

JrangeOoe: sorry i left you alone with sunny and basil there, hero was having a really bad freak out

JrangeOoe: mom and dad and i are workin with him now, gonna try to calm him down will be back at hospital to give basil and sunny another visit later

JrangeOoe: gonna be honest, this is giving me a little time to figure this stuff out too so, thanks hero for the panic i guess??????

JrangeOoe: ugh no that’s not fair

JrangeOoe: anyway, if you need to chill and get some ginos later i found 10 bucks in a visiting center couch and was trying to hide it but

JrangeOoe: today’s a “spread the wealth” sorta day

It took a couple of moments of hesitation, but…

headhooligan: dinner, maybe

headhooligan: fuck this whole dumbs week

headhooligan: i got some spare cash so i’ll chip in too to get hero something if it’ll help

headhooligan: also what the fuck how are you so calm about this are your parents not trying to work you through this too or something?!

JrangeOoe: uh

JrangeOoe: no but i think hero needs it more right now!!!

JrangeOoe: i dunno how i feel, i guess i’m just to worried about everyone else to think about it?

JrangeOoe: *too

JrangeOoe: i’ll catch you later for dinner tho, if i can get hero to calm down enough to feel safe leaving him be with mom and dad

JrangeOoe: get a feelings jam up in here

JrangeOoe: pizza and ice cream or whatever

JrangeOoe: not at your place tho tbh your mom kinda freaks me out like a lot

headhooligan: >:/

JrangeOoe: what? it’s the truth!

With a roll of her eyes, Aubrey stuffs her phone away, wrenching her bike out of its lock from the hospital’s parking lot bike rack and mounting up. She takes one, final, long look at the hospital’s monolithic facade, and thinks about just how high up that building goes before shaking her head, and pedaling off.

The whole ride home, all she can do is play back today’s events again, and again, and again. Hear the same story in Sunny’s stilted monotone, again, and again, and again.

Every instinct, every trained gut reaction, every beaten in urge and desire tells her she should hate him.

He stole her from everyone, he murdered her, broke her skull against the floor like some raging animal then strung her up like a horror show for everyone to see just to avoid consequences with Basil’s help-

… But…

That panic that gripped her chest when Basil fell in the water from her shove just a few days ago, the terror at taking not one life, but two when Sunny jumped in after him, still unable to swim.

“…”

Her pedaling gets harder, more forceful, making the aging, damaged frame of her hand me down, fourth hand bike creak and groan in protest, hair billowing behind her in a tangled mess of poorly kept locks…

What should be anger gives way to an oddly calm understanding, what should be hatred and fury and violence wraps itself so tightly in its own chaotic energy that all she can do is…

…

There’s not a cloud in the sky, but raindrops spatter on concrete and asphalt where she rides, leaving a trail of sorrow four years in the making, finally given “closure”, finally released.

—-

(1) Credit to Mahmoud Darwish for this legendary line.

[scatter-kinnin-patter]

YOU WANT MORE COMABUR MEMORIES??? IVE GOT MORE COMABUR MEMS FOR YA!!!

A continuation of this post because I've been digging around and the memories are coming back more and more! Mostly pre-dsmp and S2, S3 is still mostly a blur to me b u t! Under the cut~

So I'll start with some pre-dsmp memories of mine. So as a refresher, my canon had Phil as my dad, Techno as my twin but older by a few minutes, and Tommy as our little brother. I don't remember our mom, though I know we always joked about Philza and the fridge XD I think Tommy was our half-brother, and had a different mom than Tech and I? Still a bit fuzzy on that.

I mentioned how my Tech was a piglin-human hybrid, while I was more "human with very few piglin traits". One thing I remember though was I actually had naturally pink hair that matched Techno's, but I dyed it brown and often wore my beanie to hide when my roots were coming in. I'll explain more why I did this later.

I remember pre-dsmp, I grew up in another smp. SMP's kinda... worked like varying realms one could teleport between? The teleportation was difficult though so there was rarely anyone who'd frequently swap between smps. But I grew up in Earth SMP's Antarctic Empire! Phil raised Techno and I, and later we had Tommy with us too! I remember it was always cold, but in our castle and fortress it was much warmer. Techno, being Techno, was extremely skilled in combat and strategy and Phil took him under his wing(hah!) as the technical heir to the throne and taught him everything he'd need to know about conquest. Me, I preferred teaching myself diplomacy, fighting wars with words rather than with blood. For a time this worked actually, Techno and I really balancing each other out, but soon things got... Eh.

Tommy brought it up to me first, I think he trusted me to open up to more than the others(sorry Tech and Phil but I'm the favorite xoxo /J) and basically opened up about how unhappy he was there. He wanted to explore the world, not be holed up in some frozen corner of the planet going and conquering a bunch of strangers just so we could follow Phil's and Tech's legacy. He felt suffocated in their shadows and... tbh I felt somewhat similar. So we made a plan, and one night we ran away without saying a word... Well, I left Techno a letter, but.

We ran to the portal, and somehow convinced Dream to give us access to the dsmp. I think he agreed because he knew that would knock Techno down a peg(my Dream and Tech were rivals for p obvious reasons). And we started over there. I dyed my hair, we got ourselves a new wardrobe, and we thought starting over in a small place without many people would be good! We lied about our past, though. We didn't want to be connected to the Antarctic Empire... both because we were trying to leave that part of us behind but also so no one would tell Tech and Phil where we were. This was our new start!

AND WHAT DOES TOMMY DO. START A FUCKING WAR WITH DREAM HIMSELF.

Tommy. Ily. But you're so stupid. /lh

So I've talked about how my mems from S1 and half of S2- up to Techno's execution- went, but I've remembered a bit more!

After Techno brought me back to his cabin, we talked for a long time about what happened. I told him I didn't remember anything leading up to my "death", and Techno filled in the gaps for me. I also didn't realize Phil was in the server because... Well I don't remember my confrontation with him. I also didn't remember my hypnosis, and since Dream is the only other one who knew, Tech didn't know and didn't relay that to me.

We agreed that for now, it'd be best if I stayed with him instead of back in L'manburg. And for a while I did!

One day though, Techno finds Tommy. ... Specifically the Tommy that was living under his house like a raccoon. Techno was furious and started chasing Tommy around, who was still hoaring his Gapples and whatnot, and when I finally walked outside to see what the hell was going on, I locked eyes with Tommy, and we both stopped.

He was white as a sheet, and looked about to cry, and luckily Techno stopped chasing him after seeing this. Again, Tubbo Quackity and Ranboo never told Tommy about me, he thought I was dead. I spoke up first with a "Tommy?" And he goes "Wil... You're alive?" To which I started tearing up- "Yeah... Yeah, I'm alive!" And we both just- broke at that, we ran to each other, I nearly crushed him in a hug and we were just sobbing. He thought I was gone, and I had gone so long without seeing my favorite lil bro that just... Aaaaaaa

After that Tommy explained his exile to Techno and I, and why he ran away and lived under Techno's house. I think Techno was softened up by seeing how happy Tommy and I were to be reunited, but also Tommy's his brother too, so he agreed to let Tommy stay too.

Now, Tommy was salty at L'manburg for exiling him, and Techno is anti-government. But- I think Techno was even more against L'manburg because of how hurt Tommy and I came out of it. So Techno and Tommy swore vengeance and decided to start doing crimes against L'manburg. I stayed out of it though- I was in good enough shape to take care of myself by this point, but I still way too injured to be in any sort of fighting shape.

And then one day... Techno came home without Tommy. Turns out Tommy sided with Tubbo in the end... and Techno was still determined to destroy L'manburg. Eventually they broke Philza out and- hoooooo that was an awkward reunion. Dream also came over from time to time to plan for their attack. I was. V uncomfortable around my Dream for reasons I couldn't explain(spoilers: it's the hypnotism that I forgot happened). I wanted nothing to do with their plan. I didn't want Tommy hurt, and I wasn't going to help them hurt him. I should've done more to stop them, but... Can't change the past.

After making a crater where L'manburg was, I confronted Phil. I called him out on doing something so awful... And he called me out for doing the same. He said to me, "Power corrupts, Wil. I've seen it with Schlatt, I've seen it with Tubbo, and most importantly I've seen it with you!" To which I retort, "You see it in everyone but yourself, Phil!" Because... ANTARCTIC EMPIRE ANYONE??? Turns out the Empire disbanded shortly before Tech and Phil came to the server, I don't remember how exactly that falling out occurred, but there was a reason why Tech and Phil were so strongly against any governments at this point.

After our fight, I left Tech and Phil. Tommy needed me. I built my own place not far from the crater, and frequently visited Tommy, Tubbo, and the others. Not Ranboo though, since Ranboo stayed with Phil and Techno. And Niki kinda wouldn't talk to me because she was... def also upset at thinking I was dead.

I was with everyone who confronted Dream when he had his finale with Tubbo and Tommy. He was NOT going to hurt my boys fuck no. Tommy took 2 of Dream's lives and you BET YOUR ASS I WAS CHEERING HIM ON(sorry Dream kinnies ily)

And then. Oh boy. Before Tommy could go for a third... Dream turned to me, and said something- I forget what, maybe it wasn't English, but it snapped something in me. I may have forgotten being hypnotized, but the effects were still there. Something came over me and I everything in my system was screaming at me to attack Tommy... so I did. I screamed, and lunged at him, but I was only able to tackle him and couldn't even get a hit in before Quackity and a few others were able to grab me and pull me off of him. I was thrashing to get free, but thank fuck they held me down.(Big Q ilysm /platonic)

It was then Dream revealed what he did to me way back in Pogtopia. He spoke something again, and I just felt that urge in me drop like a rock through my body, and I fainted then and there. When I came to, Big Q filled me in on what happened. Dream said he was the only one who knew how to undo what was done to me, and if he was killed, they'd run the risk of me doing that again. So they put Dream in the prison.

Now most of S3 is still blurry to me, but I remember breaking into the prison with Tommy. And that confrontation(which would've been Ghostbur if I was canon compliant but nope my canon is OFF THE RAILS). Tommy was with Sam, and I was stuck on the other side with Dream. Dream threatened that if he wasn't let go, he would "reset" me, whatever that meant. There was a lot of arguing and tbh I was terrified, but I knew I couldn't let Dream go. So I looked at Tommy and I told him "It's gonna be okay, Tommy."

And then everything went black. My memories after this are VERY blurry but- I think Dream somehow reverted my mind back to how it was during my Pogtopia corruption arc. And I had that itch in the back of my mind again. I'm the villain. Time to act like one.

... HECK THIS POST GOT REALLY LONG HUH... UHHHH ANYWAYS HOPE YOU LIKED IT IF YOU GOT THIS FAR IM JUST A V CANON DIVERGENT COMABUR >>