#I haven’t even told the internet any of it and even my friends know the minimum but. sigh. SIGH.

[cimmanonrowl]

In the right time, maybe.

Chapter One | Chapter Navigation

Pairing: dbf!aaron hotchner x bfd!reader

Contents: age gap, older guy x young woman relationship, forbidden love, flashback, sassy!reader, even sassier!aaron.

7 years ago.

“The calls started coming in…” It was the first thing you heard your mother say since you joined her and your father for breakfast. 

You forced yourself to continue eating. But the eggs taste like nothing, the toast dry in your mouth like gravel. For the last 15 minutes you spent sitting across them, the tension pressed down heavily on your chest. Now that she spoke, you couldn’t help but glance at your father, searching his face for any hint of emotion. But his expression was unreadable as always— calm and composed as he listened to your mother’s sweet voice.

There was a faint smile on her face as she set her knife and fork down on her plate. “Cynthia called first thing this morning, and not out of concern, I’m sure. She wanted to know if the rumors she’d heard were true…” she trailed off, the sweetness dripping from her mouth contrasted with the coldness of her eyes. “That my daughter had been arrested. At a frat party.”

The clinking of silverware against china was the only sound left in the dining room. Through the tall windows, the morning sun filtered, flooding the room with a faint, golden glow. Everything was set perfectly as you always remembered— freshly brewed coffee in delicate cups, pastries neatly stacked on a silver platter, and fruit arranged in pristine order on elegant porcelain plates. 

And you sat there, eyes downcast, pushing your scrambled eggs around on your plate, unable to bring yourself to take another bite. 

“She was very polite about it, of course,” Mother dear continued, her voice as smooth as Italian silk, “But I could hear it in her tone— the faux concern, the curiosity for the gossip. My friends will be buzzing about this for weeks. Oh, did you hear what happened to her daughter? Arrested for assaulting a Teacher’s Aide, that poor woman.” She mimicked them with a faint, elegant smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

You urged yourself to stay quiet. What could you even say to make this better?

“How delightful it will be for them to have such fresh material to gossip about. By the time I arrive today, I’m sure the whole country club already knows what happened. Can you imagine the whispers?” She raised one of her delicate eyebrows, her lips pursed.

Your father sipped his coffee slowly, the lines of his face set in that stoic, unreadable expression he’s mastered over the years. Your cheeks burned with shame. You cleared your throat as the words refused to come out, your eyes fixed on the table as the embarrassment and regret clawed at you.

“I didn’t…” you finally found your voice, though it was weak, trembling. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, Mom. It was just—”

“A prank?” your mother cut you off, humming sarcastically. “That’s what you told us earlier at the police station, remember? A prank. Do you think that makes it better? Do you think the chancellor or our family friends care that it was just a prank?”

You swallowed hard, unable to meet her gaze.

“No.”

“Of course not, you stupid girl. Because it doesn’t matter why you did it. All that matters is the outcome. The damage is done.”

The events of last night loomed in the air— your arrest at the frat party, the flashing lights, the crowd of onlookers recording everything. You can still feel the cold metal of the handcuffs and how it harshly bit on your skin, the sting of the police officers’ loud voices, and worst of all, the cameras. Those fucking cameras. Although you haven’t got the courage to check your phone yet, you know those videos are out there now, circulating the internet with your name being dragged around by everyone in the Law Department who knew who you were.

“The scandal you’ve caused…” Your stomach turned, the humiliation hitting you all over again as your mother ranted relentlessly. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to wake up to ten missed calls from women at the country club, all of them pretending to be concerned, but really just salivating at the chance to gossip about how my daughter was arrested at some filthy frat party? What in the world were you doing in that dirty place, anyway? I was certain I raised you with a better taste than that.”

Your mother placed her napkin on the table with almost graceful precision, but you could tell she was holding herself back from losing her composure, holding herself back from the storm of anger that was simmering just beneath the surface.

“I just thought- I thought it was a chance to… meet people and socialize. It’s my first semester and you always tell me the importance of building connec–”

“With people of value. I didn’t mean in a rathole, did I?”

You pursed your lips. “Most of them are family acquaintances, Mom.”

“It didn’t occur to you that must be the reason why they’re only acquaintances?” Your mother’s tone remained deceptively soft, almost pleasant, as she continued. “That you don’t meet those people in charity nights or country clubs because they hang out in dirty, frat houses?”

“But Dad is part of a frat in Law School, Mom. It’s one of the ways to build connections inside the academe. Some professors are even part of those frats. It has perks—”

“And did your father also tell you to crack open someone’s skull in the middle of the party?”

“N-no…”

“That’s what I thought,” she smiled sweetly.

Your throat tightened, the shame creeping up inside you, wrapping itself around your chest until it was hard to breathe. No matter how you don’t agree with her words, even when you want so badly to defend yourself, at the end of the day, you know you’re still wrong.

“I’m sorry, Mom. It was just a lapse of judgement.”

“Is that what you call it?” she sounded amused as she echoed the words you used. “Because to me, it seems like you didn’t even use your brain. How would it be a lapse of judgment?”

You didn’t answer— you couldn’t. You’re fully aware that no amount of explanation would even justify what happened.

It was intended as a stupid joke, a harmless prank—something to rile up the frat boys and mess with the Teacher’s Aide who always gave you a hard time. He was a prick. Always acting pretentious and condescending in class, always shaming you during recitation. So you and a couple of your friends thought it’d be funny to mess with him. You had gotten the idea to stage a scene at the party— just a small “accident” involving him that would get everyone to whisper about him for weeks. 

You didn’t think it through.

No one did.

The prank backfired spectacularly. It was supposed to be harmless— just a spill of paint and a couple of embarrassing photos to post on the University board— but ended up with the man slipping and hitting his head hard on the corner of a table. The frat house had erupted into chaos after that, drunk people shouting, running around, and the guy lying there unconscious with a concerning amount of blood pooling on the floor.

That’s when someone must’ve called the cops.

Your father cleared his throat. “We’ve done our best to protect you from consequences in the past, sweetheart,” he began, his voice low but steady, the kind of tone that demanded your full attention. “But this— this isn’t something we can simply sweep under the rug.”

“You’ve embarrassed us, is what he’s saying,” your mother scoffed lightly, rolling her eyes at your father. “The truth is, you’ve embarrassed not only yourself but our family. Tell me, how are we supposed to face everyone? The people in your father’s work? My friends in the country club?”

You fell silent with her question. You’ve heard it all before— how important the family’s image is, how every action you take isn’t just your own, but a reflection of them. It was a lesson you’ve been taught since you were a child, but now, sitting here in the aftermath of your arrest, it felt heavier than ever.

“And the pictures,” your mother continued, her voice cutting through your thoughts again. “The videos. Did you think about that? How those images are going to be plastered all over social media for everyone to see? Your cheap dress? Your behavior? Do you even care how many of our friends’ children see them? I can only imagine the things they’ll say behind your back.”

Your father set his coffee down. His face was calm, but the disappointment in his eyes was unmistakable, and it made you want to shrink into yourself. 

“I want you to realize how serious this is, sweetheart,” he said after a deep sigh, his voice never rising, but somehow becoming even more terrifying in its restraint. “It’s not just the scandal you’ve brought on this family, though that in itself is bad enough. It’s the fact that the university’s TA, the man you assaulted—and don’t tell me it wasn’t serious because we’ve heard the details— he’s considering filing a lawsuit against you.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. The word ‘lawsuit’ sent a chill down your spine. You knew things were bad, but you hadn’t fully processed that it could come to this. The prank had gone wrong—horribly so—but you hadn’t truly considered that it could escalate into something this big. The thought of legal action, of your parents being dragged into court over something you did…

Your mother inhaled slowly. Although she doesn’t raise her voice, each word cuts deeper than if she had screamed. “We’ll be dragged through the mud. And what then? What happens to our reputation? To your future?”

You ignored the fact that, based on her words, your reputation is much more important than your future. Or whatever you feel at the moment.

You could barely breathe as the conversation went on. You gripped the edge of your chair, trying to steady yourself, but it felt like the ground beneath you was crumbling away. 

“I didn’t mean it. I’m really- I’m so sorry…” you whispered, your voice barely audible, shaking.

“That doesn’t matter,” your father said. “Intent doesn’t minimize consequences. And now, we’re facing a very real possibility that you could be expelled, sued, and publicly humiliated all at once.”

The walls felt as if they were closing in around you.

Your mother’s eyes narrowed as she continued. “And then there’s the matter of money. Do you have any idea how much it will cost us to make this go away? To keep your record clean, to keep you in Law School after almost killing someone?” She leaned forward slightly, her voice low and cutting. “Do you even realize how selfish and stupid you’ve been?”

You swallowed hard. Expulsion. A permanent mark on your academic record. Your future— everything you’ve worked for— now hangs in the balance because of one reckless night.

Tears stung at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them away, refusing to cry in front of them. You feel small and ashamed, under the weight of everything that’s about to come crashing down on you. But then, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

Your father heaved another deep sigh. “We’ll need to contact our lawyer,” he said calmly, his mind already moving to control the damage. “We’ll have to negotiate with the university board and the TA. I already set a meeting with the chancellor. He’s an old friend, let’s just hope he will help us.”

You nodded numbly, the shame and guilt overwhelming you. The image of your mother at the country club, having to endure the whispers and judgemental looks, the thought of your father having to navigate meetings with lawyers and school administrators to clean up the mess you’ve made was so shameful to think about.

Your mother rose from her seat with a graceful composure. “Your father and I will fix this,” she said one last time, her voice clipped and emotionless. “But this will be the last time, I warn you. You’ve embarrassed us enough.”

Without another glance in your direction, she left the room, her heels clicking softly against the marble floor. Your father followed, quieter but no less distant, leaving you alone at the table.

“We’ll talk more about this later,” was all he said.

The silence that followed was deafening. You could feel your house helpers’ gaze focused on you, watching you from the corner in which they all stand. You felt sick, not only because of the hangover but because it felt like the entire world had shifted beneath you, and you were left to deal with the wreckage.

“Miss? Are you awake?”

The knock on your door pulled you from sleep. You stirred in bed, your eyes heavy. There was a dull ache pounding in your head from all the crying you’d done. And with heavy feeling, you rolled over, blinking against the fading evening light that seeped through the curtains, trying to make sense of the knock.

It came again, a little louder this time. You pushed yourself up on your elbows just as the door creaked open, revealing the familiar figure of your family’s longtime maid. She was standing by the front door, her expression polite, her eyes reflecting a hint of sympathy she was trying to hide.

“Miss,” she repeated softly, “your parents have requested you come down for dinner.”

You rubbed your eyes and sat up fully. “Dinner?” your voice was scratchy as you mumbled.

“Yes, miss,” she replied, stepping slightly into the room. “Your parents have a guest tonight. It’s… important that you join them.”

Something in her tone caught your attention. A guest. You wonder who could it be. Though it was most likely just your family lawyer joining you for dinner. Your father did say you would talk about the situation later.

So you gave her a polite nod and swung your legs over the side of the bed. “Alright,” you said quietly, already feeling the knot of anxiety tightening in your stomach. The last thing you want to do is face them again— especially over dinner— but you know there’s no avoiding it.

The maid disappeared quietly down the hall as you stood, your legs still shaky beneath you. You glance at yourself in the full-body mirror, grimacing at your reflection. Your hair was a mess, your eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying. You tried to fix yourself up as best as you could, smoothing down your hair and splashing some cold water on your face to wake yourself up. But no matter how much you try to pull yourself together, the heaviness still loomed over your shoulders.

You made your way down the staircase, the smell of dinner wafting through the house. The soft murmur of voices reached your ears as you near the dining room— your parents, speaking in hushed tones. You couldn’t make out the words, but you picked up the urgency of their conversation that made you pause just outside the doorway.

You closed your eyes for a moment, preparing yourself, before stepping into the room.

The first thing you noticed was that your parents aren’t alone. Seated at the table with them, in the same spot he always sat at during family dinners so long ago… was Aaron. His presence was like a jolt of electricity, sending your heart skipping in your chest for a split second before it settled into an uneasy rhythm.

It has been so long since you last saw him— years, really. He’d been a constant figure in your life growing up, your father’s best friend since college. He’d been older than you by quite a bit, of course, but back then, you’d always been slightly captivated by him— his quiet intelligence, his boisterous laughter, the way he seemed to understand the world in ways you couldn’t yet grasp. It was endearing. He always had this presence about him, something solid and unshakeable, like he was the person you wanted around when things fell apart.

But now, sitting there at the dining table, he looked different— older, yes, but in a way that’s more refined. His hair was shorter than you remember, clean cut, dark brown with threads of silver creeping in at his temples, and his jawline was sharper, with the beginnings of stubble framing his mouth. He was wearing a tailored suit, the fabric hugging his broad shoulders, the crisp white collar open at his throat, his tie undone as if he’d just come from a long day at work. 

Then there’s the intensity to his eyes. His expression was serious, his lips pressed into a thoughtful line as he listened to your parents talk.

As you step further into the room, Aaron’s gaze lifted, and for a moment, his eyes locked with yours. Your breath got caught right in your throat. 

“Aaron,” your father said formally, cutting into the silence as he noticed you standing there. “You remember my daughter.”

Aaron’s lips twitched into a slight smile, but it was fleeting. “Of course,” he said, his voice deep and even. “It’s been a while.”

You swallowed hard, feeling suddenly self-conscious under his gaze. You force yourself to walk further into the room, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest. “Hi, Aaron,” just a short greeting, your voice shaky– that’s all you had managed.

Your mother glanced at you. “Come sit down,” she said, gesturing to the empty seat across from Aaron. “We were just discussing the situation.”

Your stomach churned in shame. The situation. You know exactly what they’re talking about. And how embarrassing it was.

You took your seat, your hands trembling slightly as you settled into the chair. You focused yourself on a maid filling your glass with water, thanking her promptly and watching her walk away.

“Your father and I,” your mother started, effectively catching your attention, “were just going over the legal implications of what happened at the university.”

You glanced at your father, unsure of what to say. You know how grave the situation was, but seeing Aaron here, sitting with your parents as they calmly discuss your future as if it were some business negotiation, makes you want to crawl out of your skin and disappear forever.

“And Aaron’s here because?” You frowned, your voice sounded sarcastic without intending to. “We already have a family lawyer. Do we really need to drag him into this?”

Your father’s gaze sharpened just a bit. “Aaron has been a trusted friend of the family for years. Given the severity of your circumstances, we thought his experience would be invaluable.”

“Experience?” You let out a small, incredulous laugh, folding your arms across your chest. “He’s an FBI agent, Dad, not my defense attorney. This isn’t a federal case. It’s just a stupid prank gone wrong. I don’t see why we need to make this a whole ‘bring in the cavalry’ thing.” You glanced back at Aaron. “And I’m sure he’s got more important things to do than babysit me.”

Aaron leaned back slightly in his chair, his voice calm but firm when he spoke. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think this was serious.” His hazel eyes locked onto yours, and there was a weight to his words that made your earlier sarcasm feel childish and misplaced. “There’s a chance the university will pursue disciplinary action against you. But there’s also the matter of the TA. His injuries are documented, and he has every right to file charges.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but the words died on your tongue. The potential lawsuit. The school hearing. Your entire future balancing on the edge of a knife. Deep down, you know he’s right, but the idea of Aaron being here, so entrenched in this mess, felt too personal— too invasive. Why on Earth would you want him here?

You’re used to your parents managing everything, controlling every detail of your life, but Aaron? It was different.

Your father cleared his throat. “He’s just offering legal advice and some advice on how we can keep this from spiraling any further.”

“I appreciate the help,” You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, your voice laced with a slight edge of stubbornness, “but I don’t need to be micromanaged by a fed. I’m perfectly capable of dealing with this.”

Your mother raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “And what exactly do you plan to do? Handle it on your own? When all you did all day is lock yourself in your room and cry? Is that your idea of handling problems?”

You bit back the urge to say, ‘Yes, so what?’

The tension in the room thickened as your mother’s words silenced you. You felt the familiar heat of frustration creeping up your neck. It’s the same old story— no matter what, they always think you need to be rescued, that you’re not capable of handling your own life. That all you could do was cry, although that was exactly what you did.

Aaron, however, remained calm, his gaze never wavering from yours. “No one’s saying you’re not capable,” he said, his voice low and measured. “But this is a situation that’s already out of your control. There are legal repercussions, reputational damage, and the possibility of expulsion. Ignoring it or downplaying it won’t make it go away.”

His tone was steady, not condescending, but the message was clear: Whether you like it or not, this is bigger than you. So listen to me, little girl.

You bit the inside of your cheek, resisting the urge to snap back at him. But instead, you exhaled slowly, trying to tamp down the frustration bubbling up inside you. “Fine,” you voice was tight as you spoke. “But I still don’t understand why Aaron needs to be involved. We can handle this with our own lawyer.”

Your mother interjected with an eye roll. “Aaron is a friend, and I don’t think you’re in much position to say who can help us and who can’t.” She paused and stared at you with that poised, assessing gaze she always has. “I suggest you listen to him.”

“And if I don’t?”

You almost flinched when you heard the sharp sound of your father’s sigh. “I’m too tired to deal with this attitude. Don’t push my button. I will send you to your Grandma if you don’t shut your damn mouth.”

The room fell into a heavy silence. You glanced at Aaron again, feeling a flicker of something you can’t quite place. He was watching you carefully. And for a brief moment, you felt like you were back to being that younger version of yourself, looking up to him, admiring him, thinking he had all the answers, thinking he could fix everything.

But now, everything feels different. When you’re the problem he’s been called in to fix.

“Alright,” you finally said, the fight going out of you as the reality of the situation set in. “Whatever.”

Aaron nodded slightly, his expression softening just a touch, and didn’t say anything else.

Later that evening, you have been called to your father’s office. The dim light casted long shadows over the dark wood paneling and the rows of bookshelves lining the walls. You’ve always thought of this room as intimidating, with all the thick books and deep leather armchairs, and the old oak desk, but tonight you feel even more antsy.

You were perched on the edge of the sofa, your legs stretched out in front of you, painting your toenails with a level of focus that belies how much your mind was actually racing. You needed something to do with your hands, something to distract yourself from the fact that you were alone in the room with Aaron. 

The smell of polish hangs faintly in the air. You felt the hem of your nightdress ride up your thighs as you leaned forward slightly to get a better angle on your toes.

And from your seat, you can hear the faint sound of the videos Aaron was busy watching.

He sat across from you in one of the large armchairs, his back straight, his attention narrowed down on the laptop balanced on his knees. He was watching video clips and scrolling through photos from the night of the frat party. You’ve caught glimpses of the screen ealier, the images of yourself in that tight, short dress flashing by, a reminder of just how badly things have spiraled out of control.

You could feel his presence like a heat in the room, a steady pressure that makes it hard to breathe. Every now and then, his gaze shifted from the screen to you, but it was subtle, almost unnoticeable if you weren’t so hyper-aware of him. You don’t have to look up to know when his eyes are on you; you can feel it in the way your skin tingled, the way your heart skipped a beat.

He cleared his throat eventually, the sound breaking the heavy silence. “These videos,” he started, his voice low and gruff, “are all over social media. It’s worse than I thought.”

You paused mid-stroke, the small brush hovering over your toe, your pulse quickening at the seriousness in his tone. You glanced up at him, trying to gauge his expression. He addressed you in a formal manner. But still, there was a flicker of something in his eyes that you couldn’t name— something that made your stomach flutter in a way you’d rather ignore.

“Yeah, well,” you mumbled, turning your attention back to your nails, “I guess that’s what happens when everyone has a phone in their hand these days.”

Aaron didn’t respond immediately. You heard the faint clicking as he scrolled through more images, the silence stretching on between you. The weight of his scrutiny, even if it was just on a screen, made you squirm slightly in your seat. 

You shifted your position, the movement causing your nightdress to ride up even more, the silky fabric sliding higher up your thighs.

You caught a brief flicker of movement from the corner of your eye— his gaze dropping to your legs, lingering for just a second longer than necessary before he quickly looked back at the screen. It was so quick, so subtle, that you almost convinced yourself you imagined it. But your heart did that traitorous little skip again, and you had to force yourself to focus on what you were doing, so you don’t dwell on it.

“This isn’t going to go away on its own,” Aaron said again after a beat of silence, as if he was choosing his words with great care. “The videos, the pictures—they’re everywhere. The university is likely to use them as evidence if they pursue disciplinary action.”

You placed the nail polish brush back in the bottle, twisting it shut with a sharp click. “So what?” you asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but the tremor in your voice betrayed you. “We already knew it was bad.”

“It’s worse,” he pressed, his eyes lifting to meet yours, the intensity of his gaze making your breath catch. “And I’m not just talking about the university. This could get very public, very fast. You need to understand what that means.”

You bristled at his words, feeling a flare of defensiveness rise up. “I get it, okay? I know I screwed up. I’m not stupid. But we don’t need to keep going over it.” You shifted again, fanning your hand over the wet nail polish, the nightdress inching up higher as you moved, exposing more of your skin.

This time, you didn’t miss the way Aaron’s eyes darted to the fabric as it rode up, his gaze lingering before he caught himself and quickly looked away, his jaw tightening slightly. There was something in his expression now, something that was not just concern or frustration.

You felt a strange mix of emotions— embarrassment, maybe, or something closer to satisfaction— at catching him off guard, at seeing that brief lapse in his composure. He’d always been so steady, so in control, and there was a part of you that was curious, maybe even a little thrilled, to see that control waver even only for a second.

“Are you going to keep staring at those videos all night? Or are we actually going to talk about something useful?”

Aaron’s eyes snapped back to yours, his expression hardening even more. “This is useful,” he replied evenly, though his voice is a bit more clipped now. “The more we understand about what’s out there, the better we can prepare for what’s coming.”

You leaned back slightly, stretching your legs out and letting the nightdress fall naturally over your thighs. “I think we both know what’s coming,” your tone edged with resignation. “I’m going to be dragged through the mud, and my parents are going to do everything they can to make it disappear. That’s how this always goes.”

Aaron’s gaze darkened, and he set the laptop aside, leaning forward in his chair, elbows on his knees. “Is that what you think this is?” he said quietly, but firmly. “You’re not a kid anymore, and this isn’t just about your parents cleaning up a mess. This is about your future. If this ends up in a court, your future will be at stake.”

There was something strange with the way he said it. You’re not a kid anymore. And you dropped your eyes, suddenly feeling very exposed— not just because of the nightdress, but because of everything you’ve been trying so hard to brush off.

“Why do you care so much, anyway? This is none of your business.”

For a moment, he was silent, and you wondered whether that was too much and you crossed a line. But then, he suddenly said, “Forget it. You’re pretty much the same kid I knew. I thought you’d be able to handle this with maturity, but obviously I’m wrong.”

Obviously.

You felt a surge of anger with that. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You’re still the same spoiled and whiny child from before.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief and offense. You’re not sure you followed everything he said after that. Because in the back of your mind, all you wondered about is what goes on in his brain when he looks at you with those dark, piercing eyes.

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[wayfayrr]

By your side from day one <3

finally set aside some time to finish off wilds turn for being self aware, the smartest one who found a way to get out without breaking your tv and getting the glass shards of screen everywhere. I'll be back on requests and such soon though!! <3

[masterlist]

“Come on [name], you can’t be serious about missing out on plans just to talk to someone you don’t even know is real.”

“You say like I would want to go clubbing tonight either way, besides he’s said he’s just been working up the courage to video call.”

“And you trust that?”

They’ve got enough of a conscious to look a bit ashamed when I look at them, I know they’re worried for me but of all the things to be so worked up about this seems harmless. 

“What if I told you that he was messaging me and telling me to stop talking to you.”

“Can you show me the proof.”

“Well… no. he deleted them immediately afterwards.”

Are they just jealous? This is so unlike them that it’s offputting. I know they can get a little worked up when I get close to other people but accusing my online friend - accusing wild - of threatening them? It’s petty and childish. Are they afraid I’ll replace them or something? 

“Okay, alright. This isn’t going to make me cut him off you know?”

“[name]...”

“Reach out when you don’t feel like senselessly trying to cut me off from others. I’ll see you around.”

Hopefully, it’s sooner rather than later, but if they don’t? It’s their own fault they thought they would need to sabotage my other relationships to get closer to me. They even have the audacity to call out after me as I’m leaving, still trying to warn me about him, like they can’t accept I would dare get close to anyone else. Not like it doesn’t feel awful potentially losing a friend like this, but what can I really do?

The trip home seems to pass in a blur, until I’m already collapsed onto my couch with a familiar notif going off on my phone. Opening it proves it is exactly what I expected it to be, a message from him, asking me how my day has gone showing me more care than nearly every other person in my life ever has. Not expecting me to drop everything on a dime for him, even if recently he’s been getting more possessive in his messages like he wants to be serious when I’ve never seen his face. 

- I’ve been decent, met up with a friend. Not much really, you? - 

- Had to do chores for someone I don’t like >:( wanna get away from everything tbh - 

- why not just up and leave? - 

- I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been planning something - 

Seems like the possessive streak has worn off now then, so I don’t have to worry about mentioning friends again. There isn’t even a reason he should be possessive of me though, unless he’s got a secret crush or something. Which I hope he doesn’t, he’s been speaking to me for barely a couple of weeks. 

- You free to call tonight? It’s been a while. - 

- I’m good rn if you are. I’ll just grab my headphones - one sec - 

- :DD perf perf - 

Honestly a call will be nice, I can just zone out for a bit, play some games and chat. It’s the perfect way to destress after everything that happened earlier, I still can’t believe they threw away our friendship over something so small. Maybe I should just block their number and drop them even if they do try and apologise, I don’t really need people like that in my life. 

“So then love, any plans for tonight?”

“I thought you said you were gonna drop calling me that?”

“It’s silly and you didn’t answer my question anyway.”

“Nah not really. I’m just loading up breath of the wild, been a bit since I’ve -”

“Oh shit.”

Has wild been link this whole time, wait - how did he get access to the internet, HOW IS HE SENTIENT?  

He’s just sitting in his hateno house, holding the sheikah slate like a phone and silently, through the switch anyway, talking. The look of horror on his face is gut-wrenching though.

“You - you…”

“Oh - uh - I mean. Come on love it’s not that bad is it? I - I’m not going to hurt you, I swear.”

“I don’t think I want to deal with this right now… I’m sorry I just.”

The look of horror and shame shifted terrifyingly fast when he noticed me moving to turn off the switch, replacing itself with fear and anger before he steeled himself, and presses his hand against the slate’s screen?

…

He - he’s reached through my phone to grab onto my wrist. 

“No, don’t turn me off, I can’t go back to being just a voice. Please”

“How… how are you DOING THIS?”

“That… Isn’t what matters right now.”

His grip feels so nervous, he looks it too - which makes sense, I would probably be petrified if I lost my body just because I was trapped in a game. I can’t turn him off that would be cruel… he deserves better than that. 

It instantly lightened as I moved to sit back down, a sigh of relief echoing through both my tv speakers and my phone, as he let go the second I sat with his hand retreating through my unbroken phone. 

“Okay, you promise you won’t try to turn me off?”

“I won’t if you’ll explain.”

“That - that’s fair, I can do that for you love and - if I told you that I think I’ve figured out a way to get out? Would you let me live with you?”

“So that’s why you were so forward abou- yes you can. When you’ve explained everything. And made it certain you’re not planning to kill me because you’re scared of me sending you back.”

The reverb’s stopped now, which makes talking a lot more pleasant and less like he’s trying to intimidate me now, not that I blame him for it if I was about to condemn him back to that hellscape. I just, I really hope he isn’t trying to get out just to kill me, I don’t think I would ever be able to get over my childhood crush wanting to kill me even if he has every right to want that.

“What- No no I don’t - why - why would you think I would ever want to even hurt you let alone KILL. I - love I. I love you. That’s why I’m doing all of this - I - I.”

He’s crying. I should’ve known that he wouldn’t do anything like that - it’s within his right to - but he’s link, he’s the hero, the protagonist who was stuck to my side through it all. I know I shouldn’t have said that it wasn’t meant to be cruel but it was careless enough to hurt him. 

“I’m sorry, I came on to strong, you - you have every right to be scared of me. I promise though love I - I will never hurt you ever.”

“I know… I just panicked. You can explain now I won’t overreact again I swear. Or if you’d prefer -”

“If I would prefer..?”

“Why not get out first, then explain?”

Lighting up a firework in my face would have been less blinding than his smile in that moment, it’s such a sweet smile - a genuine one too. Meaning that I said the right thing, that I’m doing the right thing by giving him this chance. 

Hopefully, I won’t regret it.

“Really? You’ll let me do that?”

“I think it’s a good idea, it’ll be easier to talk to you as well. Just - how are you going to go this?”

“Um, oh, well uh, I think I could possibly make your switch into a mock version of a warp medallion? Then link my slate to it and just well”

“That makes sense, you can go ahead then, shouldn’t take long right?”

“No, no it won’t.”

A couple of seconds was all the wait it needed for him to stumble out of the blue lights and right onto me, clearly disorientated by the shift into reality. Probably not as bad as any of the 2d links would have struggled to be fair to him. It was an even shorter wait for him to jump onto me and cling even tighter than a koala could ever hope to, nuzzling up against my neck like it’s the only - because - it’s the only real touch he’s ever felt. 

“So you want to explain then?”

“Could we wait? That took much more effort than I thought. I just want to rest a bit if that’s alright.”

“As soon as you’re rested enough to. You going to sleep for a bit then?”

“No I still want to talk, just about something less taxing?”

Seems like he’s more dodging the topic than anything, which is fine I can get him to talk about it later, there really isn’t a rush for anything. It’s fine. Besides he’s like an excited kid that’s staying up way past his bedtime right now, where’s the harm in staying like this for a bit?

“Mind if I ask why you’re so determined to call me ‘love’ then?” 

“Because you’re everything to me, my light, my love, my life - you’ve been with me through everything. From when I woke to killing ganon and you didn’t abandon me there. You’ve shown me your favourite cities, stuck with me when you had the choice to choose others because you said I am you favourite, so really? How could I not love you?”

“You were aware even in Mariokart?” 

His giggle is sweet, he’s so charming right now, especially with how unaware of it he is. It’s so earnest and unfiltered, just so raw, I could go the rest of my life with that being the only thing I ever hear again. Compared to how he acted in cutscenes as well? He’s happy. Tired but happy.

“Oh before I forget, You should be expecting a delivery actually!”

“What.”

“I’ve been wanting to get out of the game for a while so I ordered some things to try make myself more appealing to you.”

“Like what? Link you didn't need to do anything like that.”

He just shrugged, seems like I won’t be getting an answer to that till whatever arrives whenever it does. Seems he really wasn’t lying about being tired though, he’s already starting to fall asleep laying against me like this. Thankfully he’s light enough to move to a more comfortable position, although theres nothing I can do about how tightly he’s holding me and truthfully? There’s nothing I want to do about it.

“Y’know I think I could get used to this.”

“Yo’ will I pr’mise, I’ll make you addicted to m’.”

“Well that isn’t ominous at all… and you’re already asleep.” 

[marvel-ouss]

The Way I loved You

Charles Leclerc x Reader, Arthur Leclerc x Reader

Warnings: italics are flashbacks, the timeline is unreliable (Charlotte and Charles are dating and Zak is still McLaren's team principal), mentions of cheating, nicknames in French and Italian, "y/n/n" means "your nickname", screaming, fighting, English is not my first language

Type: fluff and a bit of angst Inspo:

Reader pov

Time goes by and you can’t even feel it. If a year ago you had told me I would be dating Arthur Leclerc I would literally laugh in your face.

I would never imagine dating my ex’s brother, never in a million years. But it end up happening.

I dated Charles for three years, all our friends and family thought we were getting married some day without them knowing, those were the best years of my life, of course it all went south on the end of the third year.

-

Lewis organized a drivers dinner or something like that and Charles as a f1 drivers was expected to be there. He told me the latest he’d arrive was 11pm so he didn’t keep me here alone for too long since Arthur was out with some friends as well.

It’s 3am Arthur arrived one hour ago and not a single glimpse of Cha, he didn’t answer the phone or replied my texts so I was getting worried. I got up from my bed and headed towards Arthur’s bedroom and knocked on his door “Thuthur?”

“Get in y/n/n” he said just loud enough for me to hear on the other side of the door.

I got in and sat on the end of his bed, I could tell I woke him up “Do you have any news on your brother?” He checked his phone “No, he hasn’t answered my texts yet.”

“Alright, thanks Thuthur I’m sorry for waking you up, sleep well” I kiss his cheek and leave the room. As I get to the living room I sit on the couch and open Twitter to see if there were any updates. After a while of swiping trough the timeline I see a video of my boyfriend with a girl I could recognise, Charlotte the first girl I met and could call my friend when I moved to Monaco.

I was left speechless. I could not believe my eyes while the video of my friend and boyfriend kissing played on replay. I could feel the tears starting to fall down my face.

I felt betrayed. I didn't even notice the time passing.

I wake up from my trance when I hear the door unlock. There he was, the man I swore to be my night in a shining armor. The man I loved the most.

“Hi bab-“ “Get out Charles, I don’t want to see you” I don’t even want to listen to his voice, because I know I will forgive him in a blink of an eye. We’ve been here before he fight all the time, for stupid things but this, now this was serious. This was the first time he cheated, and only to make everything better, with my friend.

“What’s wrong babe?” his calmness usually soothes me. Unfortunately all his calmness right now was making me furious.

“Don’t call me babe, not after tonight!”

“Babe I can explain” he widened his eyes and approached me.

“GET THE FUCK WAY FROM ME” I got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water to calm down.

“Y/n, listen to me!” He says going after me.

“I don’t want to listen, Charles! You went out, you didn’t say a word and I was left worried the entire night!” I kept screaming, I was so angry I started tearing up “I understand you want to go out with your friends, enjoy you're youth and have fun but the least you can do is send me or Arthur a message!” I checked the time on the kitchen’s clock and continued “It’s 5am and I haven’t slept because I was worried! I thought something might have happened to you! Just for me to go on the internet and see you with another woman!”

“Babe, I can expla-“ I take a glass out of the cabinet and fill it with water and say: “No you can’t!”

“Please listen to me!” “I won’t, tell Charlotte I said hi, now leave” he has a shocked look on his face which means I was right, the girl in the video I saw earlier was indeed my old friend.

“The silence says it all. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight, when I wake up I’ll make my bags and leave” I say sipping in my cup of water.

“Are you crazy? You are not going anywhere! Not before we talk!” I could tell he was getting desperate. This was all his fault in the first place.

"Now I'm the crazy one?" I turn my back I head to our bedroom so I could get a pillow and a blanket.

Charles enters the room after me and closes the door.

“Please Y/n, let’s talk, I need to explain everything to you, it was a dumb mistake, I shouldn’t have done it. I started drinking and I felt needy but you weren’t there! When I looked at her all a could see was yo-“ “Please Charles, shut up” “-u and I just wanted to kiss you and hug you, but you weren’t ther-“ “SHUT THE FUCK UP! I can’t listen to you anymore! I’m done with your excuses! At the end of the day I’ll be the one to blame because I wasn’t there, and the jokes on me.” I make my way to the bedroom door and open it.

Arthur’s door is open and he is resting his side on the doorframe. “You good?” He asked in a cautious tone.

“Sorry for waking you up but your brother’s a dick!” I make my way down stairs. I could hear Arthur talking to Charles in French but I just went to the couch, laid down and eventually fell asleep.

-

The next morning I packed my things and left, I stayed at Lando’s house for a while until I had the money to buy my own house. I had some money in my savings for as emergency and this was the perfect moment to put it to use. I met Lando a long time ago, when I first came to Monaco, four years ago, it was with the intuition of becoming a f1 photographer, and that ended up becoming true, I was a photographer for McLaren during one year. Zak had a lot to say about Daniel Ricciardo so I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

Danny has a heart of gold and he didn’t deserve half of what he went through on his last year at McLaren.

After leaving McLaren I did some jobs here and there but settled as a Quadrant photo editor and a APM Monaco main photographer. Even with two jobs I still have time for myself, when they need me they give me a call and I go as fast as I can.

It was easy making the money I was missing to buy a house and not even 3 months later I was all settled in my new apartment.

-

Lando puts the last box we brought down from his apartment on the table. I bought a two bedroom apartment in the same building as Lando.

“How could you do this to me? You can't leave meee” Lando said with a fake crying voice.

I burst out laughing “Landoo, stop with the drama, we’ve talked about this. You have my phone number and I’m just two floors down!”

“Oh right I forgot about that part! Seems like I’m not getting rid of you that easily.”

“Lan, I think it’s more the other way around.” We stay silent and the next second both our laughs fill the apartment.

"Sorry to ruin the mood, how are you feeling with all this situation?"

"Honestly I don't know. It feels weird. this is the first year in almost four years that I won't be constantly at the paddock. I'm gonna miss the races and specially the people." I was starting to get nostalgic, thinking of all the moments I spent at the paddock, the people I met and all.

"You can always come by, you're welcome to come with me!"

"Yah, obviously!" I say in a sarcastic tone "The last thing I want to do is fight with Zak again, and I doubt I'll be welcome at the McLaren hospitality"

"Y/n you know a bunch of people, you'd be welcome in all the hospitalities! We'll really miss you around." He says hugging me.

"I'll miss y'all as well" I start crying with my face buried in his neck

"Y/n/n, please stop crying or we'll make a pool in the middle of your living room"

"Sorry" I say stepping away and wiping my tears away. "I'm gonna take a bath and settle in, talk to you later?"

"If you want me to go just say it!" he says stepping out the door "See you tomorrow miss" he kisses my cheek and leaves.

-

I remember being there, in the middle of my apartment, crying my eyes out because of some boy that decided to play with my feelings. Later that night Arthur called to check on me, after all we were pretty close. He came over that night and I got to say everything I was keeping inside of me.

Thur coming over started being something usual so we just got closer and closer.

“Mon ange, do you have any ice cream?” I hear Arthur ask from the living room.

“I only have vanilla ice cream, mio caro” I say from the kitchen door.

“You’re basic, as anyone ever told you that?” He says in a playful tone getting closer, holding my waist and hiding his face in my neck.

“Yes, you have, plenty of times!” I laugh.

“Forget the ice cream, let’s watch a movie and cuddle!” He picks me up and makes his way to the couch. “What do you wanna watch?” He asks putting my feet back on the ground.

I make my best puppy eyes. “No, Y/n, no, please not ‘What’s your number’ again” he says in an annoyed tone. We’ve watched that movies at least 20 times in the last few weeks. “Please, please, please, please, plea-” I keep the puppy eyes to try to convince him. “Okay, you won, but I choose what we’re getting for dinner!” “Deal” I say with a big smile on my face.

The movie ended and Arthur was about to order the food when he got a phone call from his personal trainer so he goes to the other room to answer.

“All good?” I ask when he comes back.

“Yeah, the f2 season starts in three weeks so I need to get in shape before the season start” we keep talking about the f2 season and how excited he is to start racing again. “You should come with me to the races, if your job let’s you of course” he says exited but insecure at the same time.

“I’m not sure, mio caro. Especially with your brother there. I don’t want to make things awkward” I say with a sad tone.

“You still don’t know, do you?” He looks really confused.

“Know what?” I furrow my brows.

“Charles is taking Charlotte to most of the races” and that’s it, replaced like a snap of a finger.

I got lost in my thoughts. Didn't realize I was crying until I feel Arthur hugging me. That was when everything fell down, every tear I held during 6 months, every feeling, all the thoughts, all the love I still felt for Charles. Everything.

"Mon cœur, you don't need to cry anymore, everything will be alright."

I lift my head from his chest "Arthur I'm not sure if I'll ever get over him, he was my first love, he's the person I spent three years of my life with" I sobbed "You don't understand what I'm going through, I loved him more than anything just to be replaced by one of my closest friends, I trusted them. I feel betrayed by the both of them. I don't know if I'm ready to see them together! Thuthur, what do I do?"

"Mon ange, trust me when I tell you that he loved you, he's also hurt by the break up and this was his way to cope, just know that it was real while it lasted."

"If he was hurt he would have tried again, he didn't even call!" I argued

"Of course he didn't. I told him not to." he said really calm

"Why would you do that?" I was so confused, I've been complaining that Charles never tried again but the cause of it has been invited to MY house by ME countless times.

"Would you forgive him? Wait, better question. Would you forget what he did? Or every time you were with him you'd get flashbacks of the video? Don't try blaming it on me because I know that that's what you're doing!" I didn't answer, I just started blankly at the rug on my living room floor. After a while Arthur stood up "I'm sorry but I'm leaving." he made his way to the front door and left. I knew I had fucked up.

-

That night I went to Lando's house to get his opinion on the situation. Lan always has the best advices! He told me that Arthur might care for me a little bit too much and told me that I needed to replace Charles to help with the pain. I still remember his words to this day "When your puppy dies you need to replace him to help you cope with the pain, it doesn't mean you'll stop loving him, he'll always have a special place in your heart but you need to allow another puppy some love as well" yes he compered my situation with puppies! What's in that's kids head, be forreal.

Me and Arthur didn't speak for three weeks, a sent him hundreds of texts but he didn't answer any. So I did what anyone would do: I went to Bahrain with Lando to talk to him.

-

"ARTHUR LECLERC GET BACK HERE!" everybody started looking at me and Arthur. He turns around and when I reach him I wrap my arms around his torso and bury my face in the crook of his neck to feel the smell of his perfume that I loved so much. "I'm so so sorry for not saying a thing that night, I was just left speechless. Everything you said was true I just didn't want to accept it. Then you left and it was already too late. I'm really sorry mio caro"

He hugged me back and lifted me so I could wrap my legs around his waist and hold onto his shoulders. Now we were face to face. "I forgive you mon cœur, I also apologize for ignoring all your attempts to talk to me, I'm sorry cherie"

I just couldn't resist him. After what Lando said and all this time away from Arthur, I knew I needed him in my life. It was not a want, it was a need. So I kissed him. I didn't care about the cameras or about the people around us. It was just me and him in that moment.

I separated my mouth from his to catch my breath and he followed to kiss me again. "Thur, can you put me on the floor please?" I whispered. "Only if you don't run away." he laughs before putting me on the floor. "Grazie mio caro" I smiled at him.

I looked at his beautiful eyes before getting on my tiptoes and kiss him again.

-

I went with him for most of the races, the time we spent in Monaco was enough to make the APM photoshoots and all the Quadrant editing could be done while I was away in other countries.

I avoided both Charles and Charlotte. I couldn't deal with any of them. I didn't want to ruin my happiness.

Right now I've been dating with Arthur for seven months and his f2 championship is going great. I still run from my problems instead of solving them.

Today is race day so there's drives, wags, cameras and teams everywhere. Me and Arthur were walking to the Dams motorhome so he could check the strategy before the race. "Y/n?" I didn't answer. I've been ignoring Arthur for the past 30 minutes cause since early this morning he decided that he wanted to challenge my patience. He only called me by my name (which never happens), closed every door in my face and disagreed with everything I said even if I was right! The man's insane! So I decided not to talk to him. we where passing the interview zone when he held my waist so I looked at him "Baby, Mon ange, mon cœur, cherie,-" he said burying his face in the crook of my neck "That's enough Arthur" I started laughing and he started tickling me. "Stoopppp, Thur. Please stop" I can't stop laughing. "Apologize for not speaking to me."

"Thur, stop please, I apologize" a say pushing is hands away from my waist.

"Come here" before I could even think he had already thrown me over his shoulder like a potato bag. "Thur put me down!" I couldn't breath from laughing so much. "Nope, I'm gonna carry you to the hospitality"

All the laughing and talking got interrupted "Arthur? Y/n?"

Charles pov

“The car seem-“ I stopped hearing the interviewer when I heard her laugh, the laugh I didn’t hear for so long, I always loved her laugh. I loved her smile, her eyes, her hair, well I loved her. I love.

I don’t remember much after I left the club on that night but I know we had a fight. What I did was wrong. More than wrong. I don’t know what got into my head! I love her. Even after all this time I still love her. Charlotte means nothing compared to her.

I wanted to go after her but Arthur told me do drop it, everything he says was right but I didn’t want to listen. Then I realised that it might be for the best. That’s why I went back to Charlotte so I could try to get over her.

But I need to respect her happiness. She’s with Arthur and I know he's good for her.

“Charles, are you with us?” I hear the interviewer

“Sorry, can you excuse me?” I turn towards what I believe was the dams hospitality “Arthur? Y/N?”

~

Hi everyone, this is my first time writing something a publishing it. So please be nice :)

Let me know if I got something wrong and let me know your opinions.

Should I do a part two?

[justjams2003]

Fast Pace- 3

Summary: You're a hard-working Chef in Paris and after a freak accident run-in with Carlos Sainz, your life makes a 180. Let's just say with a certain agreement, you get your bills paid and in return stand in as Carlos' girlfriend for the press. But will you be able to handle the pressure and ensure the lines don't blur?

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Carlos Sainz x Sugar Baby!Reader

Warnings: I've aged up Carlos, he is 33 in this fic.Smoking, smut, sexual themes, age difference, manipulation, control, slight obsession, tell me if I missed any

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics and @s-silk

Taglist: @httpjeonlicious, @f1lov3r, @messersandmesses, @hollie911, @oriconde08

Word count: 2,6k

Masterlist

Part 2~Part 4

His eyes pierce you like an ice-pick to the brain. Dark like a storm and prowling your mind, trying to pry an answer from you. He looks like a model, posing for a magazine cover. He’s leaned back, sipping from his wine, hair perfectly in place and his broad shoulders lure you in. Those coal-brown eyes don’t beg for you to say yes, but command you.  

How you wish now that you could your friends and beg them to reply for you. But you can’t. You have to pull up your big-girl pants. He’s read you back to front like some cheap pamphlet. You’ve never told anyone about your big dreams. You’ve kept it under wraps, a daydream that keeps you busy when the nights are too long. The only one that really knows is your Instagram algorithm, which constantly shows you other people living your dream.  

Is it too vapid of you? To only want the sweet life and not want to work for it? It’s not that you haven’t tried. You’ve spent three years working your ass off in that damn restaurant and nothing has come from it. You’ve not gotten a single raise, no other higher up, fancier, restaurants have wanted to take you in.  

Your lip is caught in your teeth, and you can’t help but blush at the thought. “Would it make me lackadaisical? A floozy? Lazy?” You ask, unsure if you're asking for his approval or trying to convince yourself. He smirks and shakes his head, then takes your hand. “Quite the opposite, it would make you smart. If you take this opportunity, then you’ll get an advantage that other girls could only dream of.”  

He continues, trying to convince you. “Model work isn’t easy, it will be ruthless, even with my influence. If it helps, I promise I won’t do everything for you, not that I could. But I’m certain if those agencies see you, they’ll want you immediately, as it happened with me.” He caresses each of your knuckles and his words go right to your head.  

“And there would be conditions?” You ask, truly you’d already been convinced. All you really can think of now is your safety. “Naturally, you know how those lawyers are. NDAs, and certain other requirements, from both our sides.” His words are so smooth and play exactly to your heartstrings. The struggle in your mind seems to crumble with each soft sweep of his thumb on his hand.  

You stare him down, trying to see any lies or hidden agreements but you get nothing but sincerity. “Alright, you’ve convinced me.” His face lights up in a huge grin and seems to almost jump in his seat. “You won’t regret it, princesa. I’ll make sure of it.” He places small butterfly kisses all over your hand. His stubble tickles and you can’t help but let the giggles fly from your mouth.  

“You won’t need for another thing, ever again.”  

Screaming is heard through the phone. You can’t help but laugh at your best friends’ reactions all while you soak up the feeling of being snuggled up in bed on a Thursday morning. “Tell us more. Right now.” Jas demands through the phone. “Well, after I agreed to the whole thing, he got us celebration crème brûlée, another one of my favourites.” They gasp and then scream again.  

You had set your Instagram radar to follow everything related to Carlos, and your phone is going crazy. There are already so many photos circulating around the internet. There are photos of him and you at dinner, luckily though you can’t really see your face.

Rumours circulate of who this new mysterious girl could be. If you’re new or if it’s a long-term thing. Then, of course, people mostly upset because Carlos might not be single anymore. There are other people too, excited to finally see him with someone.  

You can’t help but sigh, is this really what you’re getting yourself into? Are you really ready for people speculating about every single aspect of your life? Are you ready to allow yourself to be given to the public like that? More importantly, are you ready to share him? You can’t help but wonder if the fans will like you? Will they accept you or will you ruin his reputation? 

“We’re so proud of you for saying yes, it is what we would have said,” Jas says again and you can’t help but laugh. “And we’re also very proud that you didn’t make it easy for him.” Ilsa comments and you know she’s thinking more long term than Jasmine or yourself. You’re scared to even tell them of the things people are saying. Should you be shocked that this feels normal already?  

 “Then, after the date, he asked for my bank information and then proceeded to deposit me 5,000 euros. He called it a down payment. And a taste of what is to come.” They proceed to scream once more and roll your eyes at them. You’re happier now to have the water apartment for another month. Not that you need it, looking at the F1 calendar.  

A knock is heard at the door. “Uh, girls, I have to go. I’ll text you guys all the deeds at the end of the day.” They say their goodbyes and their goodluck’s. You throw the sheets you’ve had since university to the side and run over, expecting some sort of package or invoice, you throw open the door not looking to see who is outside.  

“Carlos, hi,” you smile, now feeling incredibly self-conscious about the pyjamas you’re wearing. The shorts have a few holes in, and the shirt is stained more than you’d like to admit. “Good morning, hermosa. I hope I did not wake you, no?” Those earth-brown eyes scan over every inch of your form and a smirk creeps across his face.

“Don’t laugh at me, you’re early. You said the flight was at nine and I haven’t gotten ready yet,” a blush coats your cheeks as his charming grin grows wider. “I am not laughing at you, hermosa. Quite the opposite, you look...” he’s holding back, you can see it in his eyes. Already you can tell he wears his heart on his sleeve.  

Carlos’ mind is somewhere else, and his eyes are glued to you. He then snaps out of it, “May I come in?” He asks and now you’re really blushing. The place is small and rundown, the paint is peeling, and you’ve given up on trying to get rid of the musk that the building carries. Not to mention, the place is a mess after your frantic packing last night.  

“Yes, uh, please excuse the mess.” His eyes don’t even glance at any of the strewn-around clothes or dirty dishes. His hand naturally falls to your waist, pulling you closer and then placing a small kiss on the crown of your head. You can’t help but notice how perfectly you fit into his side. After he sits down by your small kitchen counter you notice the things he’s carrying in his hands.  

A packet of paper, and a leather bag. “You can make yourself comfortable while I go get ready.” Again, you go to leave but you’re pulled back by the wrist. In one quick motion, you find yourself standing between his strong legs. He holds up the bag for you, “I’ve brought you something to wear. And don’t bother packing, we’ll buy anything you need there.”  

You go to protest, but he gives you a sharp look, a similar one from last night. The look that fuels and tames the fire in your body all at the same time. And yet, you keep your mouth shut and follow his instructions.  

The hoodie is huge on you, it hangs on the middle of your thigh and the sleeves hang over your hands. It’s bright red with black shoulders and the Ferrari logo is unmistakable. You pair it with plain black leggings and sneakers. You hold the cap, that came with, in your hands, and already you feel a bit showy. 

You walk out and Carlos’ eyes immediately snaps to you. Those stormy eyes of his instantly go even darker. He rakes his hand through those dark locks of his as if he needs to ground himself. “It’s a bit much, don’t you think?” You give a playful scoff, but he shakes his head. He stands up and takes the cap you’re holding from you.  

“I must disagree; I want everyone to know you’re mine now.” He picks up the hat and places it comfortably on your head. His gaze is strong, and you scrunch your nose, unsure if he approves of your appearance. You hadn’t bothered with too much makeup. Your reaction causes something you’d compare to an animalistic growl come from him.  

“He esperado tanto por esto.” His Spanish tongue is something that should be illegal, simply because of the way he makes you feel. You’re certain he could call you a hideous beast and you’d still fall to your knees. “You have no idea what you do to me, mi amor.” His finger just lightly grazes your cheek and you’re entirely mesmerized by the way he stares into my soul. As if you’re a prize he’s been yearning for all his life.  

In desperate need to hide yourself from his burning gaze, you switch the topic, in fear that he might find something wrong with you if he looks long enough. “What’s with the papers?” He looks almost annoyed to be doing something other than admiring you. “It is courtesy of my lawyers. The NDA we had talked about last night.” He takes your hand and guides you to the seat next to him.  

“It’s more to protect the public image than anything. I don’t think it’s needed, but you know how they can be, no?” He jokes while you read it through. If you had a lawyer, you would’ve had them read it through, but you don’t. So, instead in a leap of faith, you sign it without much thought. You can hear your mother yelling at you in your mind.  

“Alright, are we ready to go then?” You ask, not wanting to think more about the legal side of this all. More so just excited to jump into this new life. Excited to see all these new places you two are going to together. He raises his brow at you, “Are you sure that you’re ready?” He asks, taking his hand in yours and you have to hide your smile.  

“Or, is my pretty girl eager to join me in the public eye?” He shoots you a wink and a blush creeps across your cheek. You can’t help but blush your lip and hide yourself from him. How does he always know just what is going on in your mind? “I knew I chose right; other girls would be so scared to face those vultures. But I can see....”  

He seems to trail off, gently caressing your cheek. “Hmm, yes, what do you see?” You bite your lip and flutter your eyes, loving any sort of physical attention from him. He then shoots you a wink before shaking his head. “Come, we’re going to be late.” He stands up from his seat, taking your hand and dragging you out the door.  

“No, please, Carlos! You can’t do that to me!” You whine, though it’s all fun and games. Still, Carlos mutters under his breath, as always in Spanish. A language that you now consider learning. Just to know what he’s saying about you.  

“What are you doing, hermosa?” He asks, watching as you pull out your phone and look at the Instagram again. Ilsa likes to say you’re addicted; you just like to say you’re connected. This, however, isn’t exactly something that you wanted him to know about. A bit embarrassed more than anything scared that he’ll judge you for your extreme consumerism.  

You hide behind your hair, “Nothing,” you mutter immediately turning your phone off. He rolls his eyes at you, then wraps his hand around your waist. He then drags you across the seat, right next to him. He then takes your thigh closest to him and drapes it over his leg. His hand stays there, rubbing soothing circles. “Give it here,” he says, his eyes stern and his hand held out.  

This time you don’t give in and just cross your hands, staring him down. Your phone is your safe space and not even your closest friends are allowed to see it. “Niña terca,” he mutters under his breath, his jaw locking tight.

“If you give it to me now, I’ll buy you a new one.” Your own jaw this time hangs open. This time you give in with a huff and hand him the old 2017 Samsung, already open. Is this how it’ll always be? How much of yourself are you willing to give to him, for your future? 

A smirk crawls on his face, that smile of his could stop traffic. If he were to be charged with a crime, he could simply flash the judge that smile, and they’d free him of all charges. “You like seeing what they say?” Your ears are bright red and wish the earth would swallow you whole. You give a small shrug, “It’s all I used to have time for.”  

“But you don’t post that much, no?” He asks, and you can see him going through your account. “I don’t have anything to post.” Carlos shakes his head. “I must disagree, mi amor. Your beauty should be seen by everyone. But we will make sure that you have too much content, no?” His sweet whispers are something that you’ve been yearning for all your life. 

 “Why don’t we do, what do the people call it?” You furrow your brows, there is a language and generation barrier. You can’t help but smirk at his word choice. “The younger people you mean? Oh, lord, what have I gotten myself into?” You say, referring to the age gap between you two. How lucky aren’t you? As if you’d been written into the perfect book, no plot turns, no villains, nothing.  

This time it’s him who blushes, “No, no, no, hermosa. What do they say? Where you post the kissing instead of letting them find out slowly?” A loud laugh escapes your lips and he too blushes and can’t help but laugh. “A hard launch?” He laughs, this time, he is the one hiding his face in the rook of your neck.  

“Yes, yes, just like so.” There is a moment of silence between the two of you as consider it in your mind. “You mean it? You don’t want to see how the team reacts first? To see how the fans react?” Your voice goes quiet, insecure about your worthiness of him. “I’m sure. I’m sure of you. I’m sure of us.” You don’t deny him and allow him to take the photo.  

He takes a few photos. One with his face still hiding in the crook of your neck, the next where your head sits on his shoulder while you stare up at him. In the last he’s placing a kiss on your forehead, the 55-logo hard to miss.

While you choose the photos to post, you can’t help but see just how much adoration you look at him. In your deepest heart, you hope he doesn’t see it too. He can’t know just how excited you are for this. How much you already like him, and how you’re enjoying his company more than his money.  

You posted the pictures with the caption, “I like a fast pace too.” Of course, with Carlos tagged. He then posts it on his story. And after the rest of the car ride, he tucks both of your phones away and makes sure you get to know each other as much as possible.  

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[belovedmusings]

More than I dare to think about.

Choso Kamo x You x Suguru Geto

Explicit Smut 18+ 🚫Minors DNI🚫

Part two of the ‘Two + One’ story. Click for story masterlist.

Guitarist! Choso Kamo is your boyfriend, and you’ve been together for a year. He recently left his previous band and has been looking to join a new one, so when he has an audition with a local up and coming one, you accompany him to give him support. That’s where you meet the band’s Bassist, Suguru Geto. The mutual attraction is immediate—but you love your boyfriend, and you resolve to keep your desires for Suguru suppressed, even as Choso is accepted into the bad. The question is, can Suguru stay away from you?

Relevant tags: sexual tension, love triangle, slow burn, thoughts of infidelity, guilt, unprotected sex, mild choking, masturbation, shy and nervous Choso, Choso is a sweetheart as always, Suguru is a quiet and confident flirt, both men are charming as hell, you are addressed without the usage of “y/n”, AFAB reader with minimal usage of gendered language, reader has no defining characteristics for realism & inclusivity

Recommended songs to listen to while reading: Can’t Get You out of My Head (Kylie Minogue), …baby one more time (The Marias), In Your Eyes (The Weeknd)

A/N: part two is out!! I hope you enjoy more angsty mutual pining and deepened sexual tension.

Read below cut:

For two weeks after the temporary lapse in judgment that caused you to have a voyeuristic quickie in your car, things have returned to normal. Well, on the surface, anyway. Choso is with the band five days a week, rehearsing and also writing and recording new music. You haven’t been back to Suguru’s house, but despite that, you can’t seem to get him out of your head.

You hadn’t known Suguru was the frontman of Curse Manipulator. You’d never even seen any of the band members prior to meeting them—they were just word-of-mouth stars on the local level. Friends told friends about them, shared their music, and that’s how you and Choso had found a few of their songs that you both like.

With Choso busy with the band, you’re left to your own devices a lot. Curiosity gets the better of you quickly and you deep-dive Curse Manipulator’s discography. Their music is a perfect blend of alternative rock and a plethora of other styles on top—it’s unique and genuinely really good. The lyrics are great, too. Deep and meaningful, loaded with allusions to other works of literature and art that speaks to a writer who is intelligent and well-read.

Once again, curiosity gets the best of you, and you end up searching more about the band on the internet. You find out that Suguru is the genius behind the lyrics as well, having written most of the songs himself.

So, you torture yourself by listening to his beautiful, thick, and warm voice singing pure poetry into your ears. It makes you think of him, of his face, his piercings, his eyes, his hair, his tattoos, his hands, his body—

He’s possessed your mind completely.

It seems like you’re horny all of the time now, which never used to be the case. You and Choso had a very healthy and normal sex life before all of this, but now, you’re on him every single night. You spend the entire day fantasizing about Suguru. You dream about him taking you on every surface in your place. You imagine his head buried between your thighs, and then you envision yourself on your knees in front of him, mouth stuffed full of his cock. You know he’d have all of the control, and you would love it. Your pleasure would be his to manipulate.

You’re so hot and bothered by the time Choso comes home that you often try to initiate right when he walks in. He greets you happily, but insists he wants to shower and eat first before sex to wind down.

You let him, but secretly you don’t want him to wind down. You want him wound up tight, so tight that he takes all of the day’s stress out on you.

Choso has never been rough with you in bed. He doesn’t even often take control, though power dynamics as a whole generally stay out of the bedroom. He likes whatever you like, and enjoys whatever you give him.

When you’re fucking him, you can’t help but wish sometimes that he’d go harder. You want him to hold you down, to pound you into the mattress, to put his hands around your neck and hold them there until you tap on his arm for air. You want him to manhandle you into whatever position he wants, to fuck your face, to just take from you. But he doesn’t. He can’t. He loves you too much to even think of treating you that way.

You know that Suguru could do all of those things to you. He would use the strength of his big arms to keep you pinned beneath him while he ruins you from the inside. He’d keep going even if you begged for mercy, pushing you past your limits, controlling your body like it’s nothing but a marionette. He’d pull all of the right strings.

You know he would look and sound beautiful while doing it. You want to see him with no clothes on, with all of his tattoos on display, his hair down from its tie so that it spills over his broad shoulders. He’d groan, pant in exertion, praise or degrade you—it wouldn’t matter. You’d have him.

Today, Choso is at Suguru’s house working with the band, so you’re alone at home again. You could have gone to watch but Suguru would be there and you don’t think that after what happened last time you’d be able to maintain your sanity around him.

As you sit on the couch in the living room, your thoughts drift to Suguru. You think of his flawless face, of the piercings framing his bottom lip, and of the stud in the center of his tongue.

Just the mere memory of his damned tongue piercing is enough to have a wave of heat crash into you. You lay your head in your hand—Suguru is truly making you lose your mind.

You can’t stop your mind from continuing to follow the thoughts of him. You’re reminded of the look in his eyes when he watched you ride your boyfriend. Not at all flustered or embarrassed that he was caught staring. Just watching with a smirk like he has the biggest dick in the world. Fuck. You mean, just look at him, the way he carries himself, the way he talks, of course he’s big.

You’ve never acted like this before. Size never really mattered to you. Choso is well-endowed and he satisfies you well enough.

Well enough?

You hadn’t thought about it. He’s great in bed, always eager to please—but maybe that’s just it. You usually lead. Sometimes he’s a little bit more on the initiative side but he never ever just takes from you. You long to just give someone all of the control for once, to lay there and take whatever he feels like giving you, to be pushed to your limits.

Choso is too much of a sweetheart to do that to you. You know he respects and thinks too highly of you to treat you like that.

Suguru, on the other hand…

Fuck.

He would just make you take it. He’d hold you down with all of his strength, manhandle you into whatever position he feels like, do whatever he wants to you.

That sinful tongue comes back to mind.

He could just throw you onto the nearest surface and push your legs apart. He could even rip your underwear to shreds and you wouldn’t even care—he can do anything he wants to you.

You feel yourself getting wet, shifting on the couch. You know you shouldn’t feed into these desires, but now that the thoughts have started you can’t turn them off. Maybe if you got off to the thoughts of him, you’d have a clearer head.

You might just be making excuses so that you can have this, but regardless of your reasoning, your hand is already dipping below both of your waistbands, finding the slick warmth beneath quickly.

What if Suguru was with you right now? What if somehow the two of you were alone together? What would Suguru do?

Maybe he would grab you by the legs, push them open, and get on his knees. You’re wearing loose shorts today. What if he just moved the fabric aside and started giving you head, right there in the living room?

You bite your lip as your touches simulate the imagined movement of his mouth, envisioning his beautiful face between your thighs, lazily confident eyes boring into yours with something dark and wild, pink tongue flicking up and down your neediest spot. He wouldn’t look away. He’d want you to watch him. He’d want to put on a show for you, to give you pleasure not only by sensation but by sight as well.

You moan in your throat as the thought gets you even wetter, speeding up your touches.

He’d rub his silver stud right against that swollen pearl, and maybe he’d smirk when he sees what that does to you. He has to know what it does to you, god does it fuck you up?

You want him to fuck you up. You so do, you need him like you’ve never needed anyone before. Maybe it’s because you can’t have him, but the desperation you feel for Suguru is so severe it’s like the sky will come crashing down if you don’t get him.

Maybe he’d even start to finger you as he eats you out. He’d make you take two at once, two of those thick, long fingers, calloused and rough from his playing, covered in his rings. You’d feel the contours of the metal inside of you—

“Fuck,” you hiss, already nearing your peak. It’s been a while since you orgasmed this quickly. The only other time was when you’d jumped your boyfriend outside of Suguru’s house, when you were looking right at him and he was looking at you while you rode Choso, eyes dark against the dim streetlight.

It wasn’t completely just your boyfriend that had made you cum that night. It was Suguru, too. His presence, his gaze on you, the feeling of his lust even from far away. You know he wants you. He couldn’t look away, either. He’s interested.

You want him to do as he pleases with you. To eat you out until you cry, maybe even to devour you whole. You don’t care, you’d even give your very fucking soul to him.

You grip a pillow beside you with your free hand as you imagine him fucking his fingers in and out of you at a rough pace, not caring if it’s too much too fast, his pretty mouth covered in your essence, working over your mound like it’s his last meal. He’d have your legs spread wide, wanting as much space as he can get, entire head moving along with his mouth in effort to get you to cum. You’d pull his hair out of its tie and let it spill over his face, gripping it in your hands, unable to look away.

He’d press wet kisses to your swollen bud, tell you how good it tastes, curl his fingers up just right as he flattens his tongue and licks with force—

“Oh fuck, Suguru!” You gasp as it hits you, climax causing you to cease up. Your eyes shut as you imagine him continuing through it, overstimulating you until you can’t take it anymore. Maybe he’d keep going. He’d force another out of you. And another after that. Maybe he’d even make you cry from it.

Your mind is reeling with even more lewd possibilities and you sigh heavily as you try to calm down.

Suguru is a very very bad idea. But you can’t get him out of your head.

At the very least, you force yourself not to fantasize about him while you’re having sex with Choso. Your love for him doesn’t waver in the slightest. Though you wish he’d be rougher, you never resent him for it. He treats you like you’re precious, to be given only the utmost care, and you wouldn’t trade him for the world. The thoughts of Suguru are for when you’re alone, and only when you’re alone.

You ask him one night to choke you during sex, and the request has him completely flustered. He agrees after some convincing, so he wraps his hand around your neck and applies pressure.

You moan out immediately, tightening around him. “Yes, baby, just like that.”

“It’s not too hard?” He asks you worriedly, pace on his hips slowing. You nod.

“It’s fine, baby,” you confirm, trying to get him to go harder, to test rather than ask what your limits are. He watches your face for any sign of discomfort, his pace slowing down even more.

“Harder,” you encourage, “Keep fucking me, Chos’.”

He swallows thickly and puts more power back into his thrusts, keeping his hand around your neck. You nod, eyes fluttering shut.

“Yes, yes…more…”

His hand squeezes a little harder and it gets difficult to breathe. Your eyes flutter shut, pleasure overwhelming you as you’re forced to feel only that—

“I can’t—I don’t want to hurt you,” he draws his hand back, air suddenly filling your lungs again, and he frowns at you. “I’m sorry, I just…I don’t think I like that.”

He’s still now, and you realize you pushed him too far. He has a guilty look written all over his face and it crushes you.

“No,” you shake your head, reaching up and cupping his face, pulling him down so you can kiss his cheek. “No, you did nothing wrong. I got carried away. I’m sorry.”

“I want to make you feel good.”

“You do,” you tell him, feeling shitty for making him feel like he’s not doing enough. “I just wanted to try something, baby. We won’t do it again.”

He sighs heavily, turning his face to kiss your lips. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you murmur, pecking his mouth again. Slowly, the two of you get back into a rhythm with some coaxing.

The two of you finish a few minutes later and after you’ve cleaned up and gotten back in bed, Choso kisses your forehead as he pulls you to lay on his chest.

As he hugs you tightly, you can’t shake the dull pang in your chest that cemented itself after you went too far with him. You can’t sleep like this.

“I should’ve talked to you about it beforehand,” you begin, searching for the words. “I know you like when I squeeze your neck a little but I shouldn’t have assumed you’d like doing it to me.”

He sighs above you, hand rubbing up and down your arm. “I’m just aware of how much stronger than you I am. I don’t want to lose control and hurt you by accident. I'd rather you be the one with my life in your hands than the other way around.”

The poetry of that statement warms your heart. He’s the sweetest man you’ve ever known. It brings a smile to your face as you balance yourself up on your elbow to look into his eyes.

“You’re always so caring,” you say, taking in his gorgeous face, glimmering with a thin sheen of sweat. “What did I do to deserve you?”

He smiles softly, huffing with a laugh. “You’re just you. I had a crush on you for the longest time, and even now the fact that you still want me—you just make me so happy.”

You shake your head with a grin, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he chuckles, wrapping you back up in his arms as you settle on his chest. There is a period of silence before he speaks again. “You know, there’s that new horror movie that’s out in theaters. Do you want to see it together tomorrow?”

It has been a while since you went on a proper date with him. He’s been so busy with the band—but isn’t he busy tomorrow as well?

“That sounds fun. But I thought you have band rehearsal. And we can’t go before ‘cause I’m seeing my friend tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I do, but we can just go after,” he replies, “How about I drive myself to practice, and you have your friend drop you off at Suguru’s place? It’s closer to downtown anyway—that would work, right?”

An involuntary sharp breath that you have to cover up with a simple shift to get more comfortable overtakes you. You haven’t been to Suguru’s house since you met him, and the thought of seeing him again makes you both nervous and thrilled. You don’t think being around him is a good idea but Choso’s plan makes too much sense for you to dispel it. Besides, maybe you can just go in, greet him quickly, and then leave. It should be fine.

“Yeah,” you finally agree. “That works.”

“Then it’s a date,” there’s a smile in his smooth voice and you press a kiss to his sternum in response, letting his heartbeat lull you to sleep as you try not to think about who you’re going to be seeing tomorrow.

It takes a while, but eventually, you fall asleep.

—

You’re on the doorstep of Suguru’s house after having just parted ways with your friend for the day. Seeing as you had a day out and are about to go on a date, you made yourself look a little bit more done-up than you would on a usual day, and you keep trying to stifle the little voice in your head that says I hope Suguru notices.

Taking a deep breath, you text your boyfriend to let him know you’re there. A minute later, the door is opening to reveal Miguel.

“Hey,” he greets with a casual grin. “Choso said you’d be coming. Come on in, make yourself at home. We’ll be done in a bit.”

“Thanks,” you smile, entering the house and taking off your shoes. “Do you mind if I just wait in the living room?”

“Not at all, Suguru told me to tell you his house was your house,” Miguel shrugs. “Hell, make some tea if you want. He’s chill with anything.”

You laugh breathily. “Okay, cool.”

“We’re in the middle of recording Choso’s backing vocals so he’ll be out in a little.”

“Okay, it’s no problem,” you say, and with that, Miguel walks up the hallway to where the recording studio is.

Just like that, you’re left alone in Suguru’s house. It looks just as stylish and serene as it did the last time, and you have to admit he has really good taste. You sigh, considering your options. You could just sit on the couch and wait, but that might give you a free-pass to start ruminating on all the ways Suguru could make you his on the surfaces of his furniture.

You blink. Nope, not a good option. You feel like making tea is overstepping, but maybe getting a glass of water would do you some good. It’ll give you something to do, anyway. You figure you’ll try it.

You pad to the left where the kitchen is, realizing you don’t know where anything is. You debate giving up and just going to sit, but curiosity gets the better of you. This is Suguru’s kitchen—you want to snoop a little bit, just innocently, to see if there’s any quirks hidden in the items he has.

You make your way to the counter and open the first drawer, finding silverware. Basic silver spoons and forks, sleek black chopsticks, and pretty porcelain chirenge spoons. You smile to yourself at the white and black design—even the small things have a touch of his aesthetic to them.

You close the drawer and decide that the glasses are probably in a cabinet above the counter, so you take a look at them. That’s when you notice that the black wooden doors reach all the way up to the high ceiling. You hum, deciding to open the first one. The first shelf has bowls and plates, and the second one has mugs. No glasses.

You move on to the next one and open it, seeing bigger bowls on the first shelf and glasses on the second. But that's just it—there is a large space between the first and the second shelves.

The cabinets in this place are ridiculous. Why are all of the cups placed so high? You can’t even hope to reach them. You’d take any glass, the one on the very edge seems easiest to get, but even that seems impossible.

You extend your arm up futilely, rolling your eyes at your own bright idea. You look around, searching for any kind of stool to use. Your eyes only find the counter and internally, you sigh. The counter is what it’s going to have to be.

You raise your leg to start climbing up when a familiar deep voice stops you in your tracks.

“Need some help?” Suguru.

Your heart jumps into your throat and you turn your head to look at him. Your mouth goes dry.

Today, he has his hair completely down, layers falling around his chin and over his shoulders effortlessly. There’s a bar in his right ear that you hadn’t seen when you met him, hair tucked behind his ear, and the rest of his piercings lay on his face like constellations. He smiles at you warmly, showing off perfect, straight teeth, and the flutter it gives your heart is almost violent.

“Uh, yeah,” you force yourself to talk like a normal person, “I-I wanted to get some water—Miguel told me I could. Can’t reach the cups.”

“These cabinets are ridiculous, huh?” He asks with a grin, leaning against the counter beside you.

“Yeah,” you agree, still trying to school your body’s reaction so he doesn’t see how weak in the knees he’s making you feel.

“I’ll get one for you. Which one caught your eye?”

You look up and point to the one closest to the edge of the shelf. He makes a move and before you can step out of the way, he’s reaching over you.

By doing so, the entire expanse of his body presses into you from behind, sandwiching you between him and the counter as he stretches for the glass. His body is firm and warm. Like this, you can smell his cologne, a smoky jasmine, and you swear your mind turns into mush then and there. You suck in a breath, leaning your hands on the cool marble for support and maybe for mental purchase too.

He grabs the cup, and as he’s bringing it down, he backs up to where he’d been standing beside you before. You feel like you might faint. You just felt his entire frame pressing against you. You even felt the print of his dick through his black sweatpants against your hip—fuck, your mind is going haywire. Your knees are going to give out at any moment. Holy shit.

“You’re a little dressed up today, aren’t you?” He asks, still holding the glass in his hand. He hasn’t offered it to you yet, like he’s making you wait for it. God.

“Oh, yeah,” you manage, doing your best to retain normalcy. “Yeah, uh, Choso and I are going to see a movie after this.”

“Oh, really? What movie?”

“It’s that new horror one—we like scary movies.”

Suguru nods, humming. “How long have you been together?”

You shift just to give yourself something to do. “Uh, coming up on a year now.”

“Really?” He asks, an appraising face on his features. “You seem happy with him.”

Your lips part. What sort of reply is he looking for here? And why do you feel…guilty agreeing with that statement?

“Yeah,” you say, “He’s great. We’re happy.”

“Choso is a lucky man. You’re beautiful.”

If you felt near-faint then, now you feel near-death.

Suguru just called you beautiful. He didn’t say ‘you look beautiful’, he said ‘you are beautiful’. Oh god, you’re going to run wild with that when you’re alone with your thoughts again. Right now you aren’t.

You’re alone with Suguru.

“Oh,” you exhale, a small smile stretching over your lips. You avert your eyes to the side, to where his hand still holds the glass. Like this, it’s like he’s holding you captive for a conversation. You like it. “Thanks.”

“Was that too bold? You’ll have to forgive me,” he tells you, and when you look at him again, he’s smiling sheepishly. God, he’s so gorgeous. The white t-shirt he’s wearing today hugs his muscles perfectly and shows a bit of his tattoos through the fabric—wait, are those piercings in the centers of his pecs? Fuck. Where else is pierced?

Shit, he can see you checking him out. Focus.

“No, it’s…don’t worry about it,” you say, and he sobers up, suddenly turning more serious.

“You know…I wanted to say that I’m sorry for that night. I know you saw me,” his voice is low, and you realize with a shock that he’s talking about you and Choso in the car. “It was wrong to watch. I intruded. I…I’m not usually like that at all.”

You swallow thickly. Words. Find words. “I…well…I mean, it was my bad…we were outside of your house. It was wrong of me to want to then and there. He’s not at fault.”

“You started it?”

Your eyes lock with his. “I did.”

“Do you do that a lot?”

This conversation is treading into dangerous territory and it’s absolutely thrilling you.

“That was the first time.”

“Why?”

You inhale slowly. It was because of you. I want you and I know I shouldn’t, so I took it out on him. You can’t tell him the truth, but you feel like he can see it in your eyes. You can’t lie, either. Fuck.

“I could’ve stopped once I saw you watching,” you choose to say, an indirect answer, and his dark eyes flicker with something you’re instantly drawn to.

“You kept going.”

“I did.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “Are you…usually like that?”

Voyeuristic? Horny? Impatient? Risky? Slutty?

“No,” you answer, “Something came over me.”

His lips pull into a smirk, and he steps closer to you. The glass slides along the countertop with his movement. “Something? What did?”

He’s so close you can smell his cologne again. It makes you almost dizzy. The distance between you two is less than respectable now.

“Hmm?”

Oh. You haven’t given him an answer and he expects one. You can’t divulge fully. It would be wrong. You have a boyfriend…where is he? Still in the studio, probably. But Suguru needs some kind of answer. You decide to be vague.

“Thoughts.”

The teasing expression widens, and he reaches up, laying his fingers gently on your cheek. His thumb brushes your lower lip.

His touch lights an instant fire inside of you. You feel hot all over and it’s almost like there is electricity scattering between you two like a power surge. Your heart rate picks up even more.

“Thoughts? Of…?” He prompts, voice dipping even lower, to just above a whisper. It sends a shiver down your spine. It’s like he commands the truth out of you.

“Of you.”

His honey-colored eyes spark to life. “What kind of thoughts about me?”

Oh god, oh god, he’s so close and you want him so badly. You’re itching to just grab him and kiss him then and there.

He seems to share your sentiments because he leans in, nose brushing against yours. You can feel his breath on your Cupid’s bow, eyelids fluttering shut automatically.

“Tell me,” he whispers above your mouth, and you breathe out shakily, trying to find the words but all of them have left you high and dry to deal with Suguru alone. Your lips move to form some form of answer, or maybe to close the short distance to feel his mouth on yours—

“Baby?”

Choso’s voice ringing from up the hallway shocks you both back into reality.

Suguru is off of you faster than a wisp of wind, backing up and putting an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you. You feel like ice water has just been dumped over you.

“We’re in the kitchen!” Suguru answers for you, seeing how flustered you are.

Choso rounds the corner and a soft smile appears on his face. “Hey.”

At the sight of his sweet face, remorse floods your body like a tidal wave. You almost kissed Suguru. And before that, you were flirting with him. Behind the back of your precious, loyal boyfriend.

You shouldn’t have come here. You can’t control yourself around Suguru and you almost did something you would have regretted after the fact.

Choso looks at you in concern. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

Say something to him. “Oh, oh—nothing. Just,” excuse, excuse, excuse, “I just feel bad for interrupting your recording session. I got done sooner than I thought and figured I’d come early.”

“Oh,” he smiles in relief, shaking his head. “No, no, it’s fine.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Suguru adds, grabbing your attention again. He gives you a smile, but his eyes are muddled, swarming with millions of indiscernible thoughts. “We could take five anyway. I figured since I was on the way back from a smoke I’d say ‘hi’.”

You force yourself to breathe slower. Having them both here in the room with you is overwhelming you. Two of the most beautiful men on Earth, their attention solely on you, the angel that you were blessed with and the demon tempting you away.

“Thank you for being so welcoming,” you say, regaining your composure. “I know I’m still a stranger.”

“My house is your house,” Suguru furrows his brow as if to say ‘nonsense’. “You’re welcome any time.”

Choso moves over to you and slings an arm around your waist. You lean into his touch, the smell of his cedarwood cologne familiar and grounding.

“You look amazing,” Choso tells you with a dopey smile, like a teenager with a crush, one that fills you with warmth. He presses a kiss to your cheek, and under the watchful eyes of Suguru, you feel bashful.

That doesn’t add up. Especially when he watched the two of you fuck the last time he saw you.

You meet his eyes, which are boring into your face. You can’t tell what he’s thinking but you can guess by the tight expression on his features. He clenches his jaw for a second before fixing his demeanor.

“Well, I’ll give you two a minute while the break lasts. You’re welcome to come watch him record,” Suguru tells you, and with that, he exits the room, leaving the glass alone on the counter.

As soon as you feel his presence exit, you relax minutely.

Choso turns his face to plant a kiss on your lips, hugging you tightly. “I think I scared him away. I can’t help it—can’t keep my hands off of you.”

The two of them are going to give you whiplash. How can you possibly stand this?

Your hand finds his chest and you look into his eyes, butterflies stirring up in your stomach. The completely infatuated look in his eyes is easy to read. He’s so in love with you and it’s written all over his face. With the way he’s gazing at you now, you wouldn’t question it if he got down on his knees and kissed the ground you walked on.

You touch his jaw and plant a kiss of your own on his lips. “I’ll never complain about your affection.”

He smiles. “I’ll never stop giving it to you.”

You stroke his cheekbone with your thumb. This man is perfect in every way. You wouldn’t trade him for the world. You know that no matter what happens, your feelings for him could never waver. “I’ll never stop loving you.”

The bridge of his nose pinkens underneath the black line of his tattoo. “Well, I’ll never stop loving you, either.”

That warrants another kiss. This time, it’s deeper and it makes your heart pound just like it had the very first time you did all of those months ago.

When you pull back, you’re both slightly breathless, and he grins shyly at you. “Come on, we should get back. I don’t want someone to come looking and catch us making out in Suguru’s kitchen.”

You laugh softly, nodding your head to turn out of the embrace and grab his hand instead. “You’re right. We have a movie to catch soon.”

He squeezes your palm and leads you out of the kitchen, the glass of water you’d originally tried getting slipping your mind completely.

When you and Choso enter the recording studio, Suguru is at the mixing board while Miguel experiments on one of his keyboards against the wall, Larue laying across the couch.

“Hey,” Larue waves at you, and you wave back.

“Hi.”

“Perfect timing. I think I have a good balance going for the vocals,” Suguru says, turning towards the two of you. “I want to record you doing a lower harmony than the one we did for another layer, because I like how your voice sounds in the background. Think you can?”

Choso nods, pulling away from you to walk towards the door of the soundproof-booth.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

He enters the small room, closing the door behind himself. You start walking towards one of the empty chairs to sit, but then Suguru calls your name.

Just the sound of it in the contours of his voice is enough to stop you in your tracks.

You turn around, and he’s holding the chair beside himself open. “Come sit here. Watch your boyfriend make magic with me.”

That makes your insides twist with heat.

“Okay,” you say, sauntering over to the open seat and lowering yourself into it, right beside Suguru. Your eyes scatter over all of the dials, notches, and buttons before you. It looks sort of like an airplane control panel, you think. So many different knobs.

“It’s not as complicated as it looks,” he smiles easily, “I’ll show you while he sings.”

You nod smally, laughing softly. “Okay.”

His eyes linger on you for a bit longer before he turns to the small microphone on the desk, pressing a red button near him.

“Okay, Choso,” he begins, and you look at your boyfriend, who dons headphones and is poised in front of a microphone with a pop-filter. He has his own set-up in the extra room at your place, and he’s explained the basic components, but this place is definitely professional-grade. Even the headphones look expensive. “I want it a third lower than the last take. Like this.”

You aren’t prepared to hear Suguru start singing right beside you.

You’ve heard him sing before, it’s a well-kept secret between you and any deities invested in your drama that you’ve probably made the curve of Curse Manipulator’s streams spike up an embarrassing amount. Lately it’s all you play.

Even still, to hear his buttery vocals ring out right beside you in person is almost an entirely new experience.

When he finishes, you feel like you can finally breathe again. He takes his finger off of the button, and you hear Choso’s voice through the speakers, repeating the harmony you just heard but in his smoky, breathy voice instead. You’re melting. Holy shit.

Your eyes meet his through the glass and he smiles, raising his brows as if to ask ‘how was it?’ and you nod, mirroring his grin.

“Sounds great. Okay, I’ll play the track.”

Suguru moves the playhead of the program on his computer with the mouse near his hand, clicks it back, and presses the ‘space’ bar on his keyboard.

Music flows through the speakers, a bass-heavy track with a really slow yet catchy beat, and the first thing you hear is Suguru’s recorded vocals before harmonies hit and Choso starts to sing under them.

The two of their voices blended together sends you right to heaven. At that moment, you find god. It’s a religious experience. Lyrics about love and desire, dark and poetic ride the contours of the beautiful sounds gracing your ears.

“He’s great, isn’t he?” Asks Suguru, and you nod, unable to find a verbal reply. You’re in awe. “How’s the song sounding?”

“It’s…I mean, it’s amazing,” you reply. It’s a song about wanting what one can’t have. You think it fits your situation a little to well, because jealousy and anguish is laced into the mix also. “I like it.”

“Yeah?” Suguru smiles at you. “I wrote it last week. I can’t get it out of my head—so it’s come to life pretty fast.”

Last week. Forbidden feelings…could it be…?

“I’ve just been feeling so inspired,” he continues, and you see that same look in his eyes. You know exactly what—no, who, rather—the song is about, and you take a deep breath.

“I love it.”

The thought of being Suguru's muse goes right to your head. This talented, walking god was inspired by you?

He flashes you a grin, looking almost rewarded, and he turns back to Choso, who is finishing up his last line. Suguru hits the ‘space’ again and the music pauses. He holds down the red button again.

“That sounded great. I’ll have you do it again just for doubles. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

Just as he did before, Suguru moves the playhead back to the beginning of the section and presses ‘play’. The same part of the song starts playing, and Choso begins to sing again.

“So,” Suguru speaks. “You see all these dials? See how they’re lined up in columns?”

You direct your attention to the board again. “Yeah.”

“Each column is for a different track,” he explains, pointing to the screen at the top row. “That’s the main vocal, my voice. It corresponds to this first column.”

He points to the left-most section on the board.

“Then you just go down the line. The next row is the next column, and so on. These dials control things like ‘panning’, so it moves the sound to the right,” he turns it accordingly, moving his voice to the right speaker only, “or to the left.”

He does it the other way before turning it back to the middle.

“The switch here is for volume. Up is louder, and down is quieter,” he says. “And that’s pretty much it. Not so bad, right?”

You nod, looking at the mixing board again. Suddenly, it really does seem less imposing.

“Yeah, actually.”

What else could he teach you?

You internally slap your forehead as soon as that thought hits you. Calm down, you tell yourself.

“Glad I could show you something,” Suguru is saying to you as he hits the ‘pause’ and starts speaking to Choso again. All you can think about is ‘you could show me a lot of things’, and then right after, ‘damn it, control yourself’. It’s a loop on repeat, over and over, lust and then berating self-awareness.

The next thing you know, Choso is coming out of the booth.

“All right, are you ready?” He asks you, and it’s then that you realize he and Suguru probably just finished up while you were having a small-scale mental breakdown.

“Oh, yeah,” you say, eager to leave yet reluctant to part ways with Suguru. You like being next to him. You like when he talks to you, his attention on you. But that’s bad. You need to go, and ideally never come back to prevent a mistake.

You stand up and walk over to Choso, taking his hand.

“I’ll see you guys on Monday,” Choso says, and Larue and Miguel reply in kind. You wave as well, and Suguru stands.

“I’ll see you guys out.”

The entire walk down the hallway feels like ten years. Suguru walks behind you and Choso, and you wonder what he’s thinking. Choso is completely oblivious to what had happened earlier, to how close you came to cheating on him.

You frown. That isn’t a pretty thought, but it’s the truth. You almost let Suguru take everything you’ve built with Choso away in the matter of a few seconds. What is going on with you?

You get to the door and start putting your shoes on, forcing the thoughts back. You didn’t do anything. Everything is fine.

“Great job today,” Suguru says, “I think this track’ll sound awesome. That gig we have coming up at the end of the month is a perfect time to debut it, don’t you think? An exclusive before we drop it.”

“Yeah, I think it would be great,” agrees your boyfriend. “It’s coming together really well.”

“I agree,” Suguru replies as you stand back up. He turns his attention to you. “What did you think of it all? Pretty cool to watch it come to life, right?”

Your smile is partially forced. He’s troubling the hell out of your thoughts and you can’t seem to stop wanting him. “It’s sounding great. I can’t wait until it comes out. Thanks for letting me hear it beforehand.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. You have special access,” he says, leaning against his wall. “I’m glad you came by. Your presence is always welcome.”

And that right there is the problem.

“Well, thank you,” you say, taking a breath. “Uh, so, Choso, we should get going. I want to be there in time for the previews.”

“You’re right,” he says, “See you next week, Suguru.”

“See you then. Have a good night,” Suguru smiles, raising his hand in a parting wave. He opens the door and lets the two of you out, allowing you to finally get some space from him.

As soon as you’re down the driveway, you feel a lot more in control of your actions, and your head is clearer. Thank fuck.

“I’m excited to see this movie,” Choso states, getting the car keys from his pocket.

“Me too,” is your response, letting his hand go to get into the passenger seat. As soon as you’re buckled in, he starts the engine and drives off.

You look out of the window to see Suguru standing on his balcony, poised with another cigarette or joint or something between his fingers, looking down at you.

He waves this time, leaning on his hand, and you surreptitiously place your hand on the bottom of the window in a silent response.

Then, you’re driving down the street, away from him.

For the sake of your sanity, you really hope that you don’t end up alone with him again. You fear that you might not be able to control yourself.

—-

A/N: the response I’ve gotten for this is wild!! Thank you all for liking this so much. I hope you enjoyed the update. More drama ahead!

Please don’t repost/translate, but feel free to reblog and share.

Tag list (comment to be added): @jaegerstan222 , @cosmicstarlatte , @dabisdolly , @moonriseoverkyoto , @propheticfire , @bontensbabygirl , @crlyhairedwxtch , @alittlebirdahgaselx , @okkovtsu , @notbellasstuff , @uchihabbynic , @polaroidnana , @childof-iluvtar , @shadowfoxy , @jordan-network , @dreamtravelersade , @unmatchxd

[capitalisticveins]

Gavin and Guy (separate) HCs!

Reward for @free-boundsoul winning. These are my first headcanons back (this is a lie I have Solaire clan hcs i just dont know when I wanna post them) after a while of not writing so I hope these are up to standards, enjoy!

Guy once BEGGED Honey to buy tickets to see Wicked. Their job pays better than his (like infinitely better) so he couldn’t afford them. After like a week or two they caved and bought a single ticket for him.

He complained about it saying he wanted his “honey bunny booboo bear” with him and after another week of whining they caved again and bought another.

Gavin can’t stand citrus fruit but makes sure to buy some whenever he goes grocery shopping because Freelancer likes them

Gavin prefers games that are either straightforward or rocky with the meaning being unclear, no inbetween at all.

Gavin can pole dance and unlike Damien it is for sexual intentions. Only reason Freelancer doesn’t know is because they don’t own a pole.

Guy has met every character in the cast with the only exception being Caelum, Scorpius, Cicirnus, and Quinn

Yes, even Brachium. He died for like a solid 5 minutes once.

Gavin was egotistical as FUCK when he first coalesced. He thought he was just automatically better than everyone else and that’s why his relationship with Ophiuchus is non-existent

Guy has a fanclub he doesn’t know about, and Honey is the vice president of it

Guy, Geordi, and Ollie are all online friends. Guy and Geordi do know each other irl but they haven’t met Ollie

Gavin used to be teased for his long name, it’s part of the reason his name is so short now

Guy and Gavin are THE most flexible characters in the cast no I will not take any criticism at this time

Contrary to popular belief, Guy isn’t a big fan of pizza. On the rare occasion he does eat pizza though it’s New York Style

Gavin spent at least 5 hours on the internet looking for the perfect name for him when he decided to change it.

One of the many reasons Gavin doesn’t like Ophiuchus is because they keep calling him “Vindemiator” despite him saying he goes by “Gavin” now.

Guy owns a Miku binder ironically

Guy used to have those little fuzzy mohawks as a kid until he decided to get a buzz cut when he was 13 and grew it out ever since

Guy had his first tooth kicked out in a McDonalds play place

Gavin is actually pretty good at “Golf With Your Friends” after Freelancer finally got him to sit down and pay attention.

Gavin owns THREE mermaid dresses 

Guy can play the drums…he just feels like a drum guy

Guy is like…..wayyyyy too interested in the Hunting Adeline and Haunting Adeline. He doesn’t LIKE the books but he just…can’t put them down.

Neither can Honey

Gavin unironically listens to CupcakKe

Due to….habits… and him being a demon, Gavin can fit 50 marshmallows in his mouth. He doesn’t know this but Huxley would be the reason he found this out

His name was supposed to be a joke his mom made but Guy’s dad misinterpreted her intentions and told the doctor they wanted Guy to be named “Guy” with no further questions. Guy is putting him in the nursing home for this.

He was bullied relentlessly* for this in elementary and middle school 

Gavin scams kids on roblox for fun

Guy was one of these “kids” (This happened last week he completely trusted Gavin because Gavin said “trust me”)

Both Gavin and Guy like to think they can win a staring contest by closing their eyes and not opening them because “technically it’s not blinking”

Freelancer likes to let Gavin thinks he won but Honey just slaps the shit out of Guy and says “YOU HAVE TO FUCKING STARE”

*by “bullied relentlessly” he means “being asked why he was named Guy every week" with no malicious intent whatsoever

[dnpbeats]

I feel like louis* has no fucking clue lmaoo not because she’s blind i just don’t think they are that close or trust her enough to tell her tbh

okay but like they’ve known each other for years and she’s still friends with them. she’s been to the house they built together. i honestly am hard pressed to believe that they haven’t told her. what reason do they have to hide their relationship from her? like i said before in my other response, what dan said in BIG about he and phil being private people applies to the internet, not their personal real life friends. what reason do they have to not trust louise? or any of their friends?

fuck i think even people who they aren’t friends with know, i’m sure the builders that have been in their house just know by way of being in their home 😭

[countrymusiclover]

9 - Life Changing Moments

Part 10

Dr. Redheaded Neighbor

Tag list - send an ask to be added @annieradcliff @watermeezer @zaidatorcuatomorgado @kmc1989

Maxon made a noise looking up at Will with a tilt of his head. “What do you think that conversation is going to be about, Max.” Will just sat down with him laying at his feet simply wanting to wait until she got back.

Sylvie and I exited the ED going to sit down on one of the benches outside the building so we could talk. I wasn’t sure what she needed to talk to me about or how she found me here at the hospital in the first place. “So, I have to ask how the hell did you find me here exactly?”

“I looked you up on the internet. Facebook showed some pictures with you and Dr. Halstead. I searched through his page and found out that he worked here. The chance of you being here still at the same town was a happy coincidence.” She explained and I nodded somehow not finding that creepy given the smile she had given me.

I clicked my tongue intertwining my hands together in my lap. “Okay, so – what exactly did you need to talk to me about privately?”

“I have been trying to rack my brain about why I couldn’t get you out of my head and it finally came to me. It’s because you clearly aren’t ready to be done helping people.”

I eyed my right leg wishing that I didn’t have the brace on all the time. “Maybe I am. I mean I had to be discharged from Army after I got injured. I don’t remember the last mission I only know I came home with this on me probably for the rest of my life.”

“Look I have been thinking about offering you a chance to come work at Firehouse 51 or at least consider looking into helping out there.” The female firefighter sends me a smile again.

Running a hand through my loose hair I sighed thinking about what she was offering. “Wow. That’s - that’s a huge offer. I mean I don’t have any training to be a Firefighter or Paramedic like you guys.”

“You’re right but you’d be able to learn on the job and take courses if you really want to look into what I’ve mentioned here.”

I asked her meeting her blue eyes. “Is this even allowed with your boss?”

“If you truly are considering saying yes, I will speak with him as soon as possible.” She reached forward touching my knee.

Since coming home I was just focusing on trying to adjust getting back to civilian lifestyle and getting spend more time with my best friend again. “I’ll let you know. Uh here – I can give you my phone number.” Taking out my phone I handed it to her showing my phone number.

“Thanks. Just call me, Mallory.” She put her number in my phone handing me my phone back.

The hospital sliding doors opened causing me and the firefighter to turn our heads and attention towards them. I saw Maxon coming towards me before I saw Will slowly running over to us. “Raegan is awake and asking for you. If you want to see her now.”

“Oh my gosh. Ms. Brett, I will certainly let you know my answer later.” Jumping up onto my feet Maxon bolted to the doors with me and Will following him inside the hospital doors. I entered the room she was supposed to be in seeing her sitting somewhat upright in her bed, smiling when I rushed to her bedside. “Rae, I was so worried about you. I – I thought something really bad was going to happen.”

She blew a raspberry at me. “I’m too stubborn to leave you alone. Especially when you haven’t fessed up and told your Redhead how you feel.”

“You know the thought of you dying is more important than my romantic life.” I sent her a glare.

She crossed her arms over her chest huffing at me. “Okay but you know that I’m right. Halstead from what I can tell isn’t very good about hiding his feelings. So, I see no issue with getting it over with and telling him that you have feelings for him too.”

“But what if he- “

She held her up left hand with an iv sticking in her arm. “I will take this out which will set off all the alarms and go find himself. Do you really want me to be the one to tell him what you won’t.”

Holding up my hands up in surrender in front of me I begged her. “Don’t you dare do anything like that. I’ll tell him soon okay.”

“You better.” Raegan sent me a warning look.

Pushing opened the apartment door I tossed my keys on the countertop the second I walked inside Will’s apartment while carrying in a pizza box that we had picked up on the way home from the hospital. Maxon jumped up onto the couch and he laid down in a curled-up position. Will came in shortly after sitting his bag by the door. “Oh, what a day. I gotta say I love being an ED doc but it sure wores me out.”

“At least now I finally kept up on my promise on bringing you this.” Spinning the pizza box around on the kitchen counter I drew the lid open and the familiar comforting smell filled the air.

He shrugged his jacket off ditching it onto the back side of the couch coming over in two long strides until his nose was right above the pizza box. “Ohh I’ve been needing this all day.”

“I gotta admit it is pretty good pizza.” I picked up a bite thinking back to my old home state. “I do remember the drive to Dominos wasn’t too bad either.”

Will set his piece of pizza down. “How dare you say bad things about me pizza..”

“I can’t help I’m from Indiana, Will.” I throw my hands up staring at him.

He glared at me across the kitchen island. “Dang country girl.”

“City slicker.” I did my best to hold a straight and serious face when I was looking at him but I only lasted a few more seconds. I bent my head down in my arms laughing my head off.

Will mirrored my laughter shaking his head. “Who would’ve thought that we would work together like this. Living together, me, you and Maxon.”

“We do make a pretty good trio.” Picking up my slice of pizza I take out a few bites before picking up another.

Will moved over to the couch sitting down with some pieces of pizza on his plate. “Do you ever think we’d still work together this great as a couple?”

“Wha – what did you say?” I nearly choked on the bite of pizza I had in my mouth.

Will’s gaze focused on me standing by the kitchen island sitting the plate down on the coffee table in front of him. I’ve been thinking for a while that I should have told you this much sooner. And so now I’m done waiting.” He rose from the furniture striding over to me until I held my hands up before he can say anything more.

“Will, hang on a second. I need to say something to you too. I – I just have been so terrified of what you would say.”

He rummaged around in his pocket holding up a random coin. “Let’s let luck decide this then. Heads, we say our feelings one at a time. Tails, we say them at the same time. And there’s no backing out.” Will tossed the coin up off his thumb and it landed down in his palm.

“What does it say?” I nervously gripped the ends of my tea shirt in my fingers nervous for his answer.

“Tails.”

I gulped. “Okay. 3 – 2 – 1.”

Will and I paused before uttering out at the same time. “I have feelings for you.”

Covering my mouth with my hands I felt some tears welling in my eyes. “I thought that you wouldn’t – um.” I didn’t know what to say considering I assumed he wouldn’t feel the same way since we’d been friends for over six years now.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He asked me.

I started to respond to him but he cut me off. “I was afraid that our relationship would be ruined and that you wouldn’t feel the same way- “

He crashed his lip’s down onto mine where I gasped taking a second to process what was happening. I had imagined what it would be like to kiss him but now that it was happening I thought I was dreaming. I leaned up slightly on my toes kissing him back and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Mal, Mallory, listen to me okay.” He drew back holding my face in his hands, smiling through happy tears. “Our relationship could never be ruined by you being honest with me. Cause I have always had feelings for you. Always have, always will.”

I grinned up at him gripping the fabric of his shirt. “So this is for real?”

“Yes, Mallory. This is real.” He sent me that familiar cheeky grin. “Now what would you say to me taking you out on our first official date tomorrow night?’

Leaning up on my toes I began the next kiss we shared. “I’d love that.” Will moved his hands around my waist holding me against his chest until we broke away knowing the pizza was getting cold.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[weirdocat83]

*kicks your door down* YOU. I need to write a silly oneshot so I can fall back into writing because Losing Hope is dramaful and I can't comprehend the words I am writing. I need something goofy. Something silly. Issue? I can't think of any silly plot ideas. SOOOO, I come to you, the au/headcanon master, as a mere writer hoping to find motivation. Do you have any silly ideas that you'd be willing to let me sculpt into a quick oneshot?

Whenever I think silly ideas I default to cumplane because they’re ridiculous and them quoting memes wwhile nobody knows what they mean will never not be funny to me. I mean, imagine explaining a meme without the internet! Bonus points if some of them start picking up on how to use the memes without knowing the context.

A friend of mine told me about a svsss au they don’t intend to write where Shen Jiu is a strict teacher and Shen yuan is the TA that grades his students papers so LBH and SY end up communicating through notes and doodles :)

*takes a Quick Look at old posts because I had ideas then and I don’t have any rn*

Not really that fluffy but Any Hualian time travel or truth serum. There’s like, one truth serum fic in the TGCF fandom that’s good and Xie Lian has both so many secrets and also the sassiest thoughts. Also Xie Lian and Hua Cheng meeting while still alive (and possibly ascending together??).

I would also like to direct you to this post and this post because some aforementioned things are there but also various other ideas that could work. It was an idea day and today isn’t (unfortunately)

Any scenario in which anyone gets drunk. Literally pick a character and choose how they embarrass themselves and regret their decisions in the morning. Xie Lian could harp on about the dirty things he keeps to himself as well as insulting *so* many people, Hua Cheng could be very soft and emotional but also really kind and ends up giving so many compliments even to Feng Xin and mu qing (much to their shock and amusement) speaking of mu Qing, get him wasted. My man has so many emotions and unnecessary thoughts. Cuddle the man and make him laugh. I think he’d be a little more insecure openly but also happier. We’ve seen LWJ drunk but imagine wwx drunk. Idk if that’d be angsty or not but up to you. I think he’d be soft and VERY cuddly. Half of what he says is completely nonsensical but the other half is very sweet. Binghe would be clingy and Shen Yuan would probably be singing some modern pop song with airplane (who is equally wasted).

Outing myself here but non-explicit abo is probably one of my fav types of fluff. Idk something about people being intensely cuddly while surrounded by soft things and being incredibly vulnerable always gets me. Like, ‘nope, you’re mine to cuddle for the rest of the week. Live with it.’

Chatfics are my preferred crackfics because hell hath no chaos like a bunch of people smushed together in a gc with naming privileges and being unable to leave. Bonus points if it’s in high school so there’s extra drama and humor. Imagine Hua Cheng and Xie Lian haven’t confessed but everyone else knows? Hilarious. Mu Qing and Feng Xin fighting in the halls (again) over something stupid and getting suspended? Hilarious. SQX being girlfriends with HX and going on dates (they had a rough start with their relationship because Shi Wudu pulled some shit that was NOT run past SQX which led to a lot of difficulties but eventually they did become friends again and eventually lovers.)

Anyhow that’s all I can think of. I also had some fluffy-ish ideas for losing hope if you want those ;3

[landwriter]

Hello Mrs landwriter. Would you consider writing a continuation of your You've Got Mail Dreamling AU? I just stumbled across it and it's really very good and I am yearning for more. Much love to you 💖

part one for context. I would also like to take the opportunity to announce that despite my Advanced Internet Age of late twenties, I am scandalously unwed and unattached. any and all comers are welcome to pitch me for my hand in marriage in my askbox.

OP - thank you so much! I have plans to write a full You’ve Got Mail AU at some point but here is another scene, just for you! thanks for enabling me :)

---

“8 o’clock, boss, right on time,” said Matthew, as they stopped outside the cafe that was definitely gonna be Morpheus’ future Last Known Location. “This mystery penpal date is some real serial killer shit, man. You know? He could be anyone.”

“Matthew,” said Morpheus, and turned to look at him with a terrifyingly smitten expression. “A mystery he may be, but he is still the single most charming person I have ever come in contact with. The way he writes of life. The stories he tells! His passion, his hunger, his wit. He could be a bike messenger, and I would be a madman to not turn my life upside down and marry him.”

Matthew felt the rare, exquisite discomfort of actually being the fuckin’ voice of reason in a situation. “You don’t even know what he looks like, boss. Marriage seems a bit, uh, full on? If you haven’t even swapped photos?”

Morpheus regarded him a little satisfied smirk. “We haven’t exchanged pictures of our faces, no.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said in disbelief. Morpheus just raised his eyebrows. “You slut! What is it with gay dudes and-”

“It would be tremendously unprofessional for my assistant to make generalizations about an entire population,” said Morpheus. He sniffed. “Also, he is bisexual.”

“Okay, okay, boss, he’s bisexual, my bad, how about the professionalism of dragging your assistant to your date with this mystery bisexual whose name you don’t even know?” He was, truth be told, pretty fuckin’ invested at this point, but if he could guilt Morpheus into a more generous Christmas bonus, he would. Shame was for suckers.

“You are here in your capacity as my friend,” said Morpheus. Oh, the cold-hearted asshole, invoking their friendship on a Nets game night.

“Then at least let me be homophobic!” he protested. A passerby glared at him. Tourists. “You only get to choose one, man. Loyal assistant or lovably brash bosom buddy, making the protagonist look like less of an-”

“Go on, then,” said Morpheus, heading off his loving insult and folding his arms expectantly.

“No, fuck, the moment is gone. It’s not the same if you give me permission, man. I’m taking an I-O-U for later. One homophobia, when you least expect it,” he said.

Morpheus, who actually did look like he might vomit from his nerves at any moment, at least rolled his eyes at that. That was something.

This was definitely a pep talk moment. God, he was shit at pep talks.

“Well, I’ve loyally delivered you to your fate, or date, or whatever, so, uh, have fun! Don’t get stabbed, text me how it goes, and remember: don’t let him take you to a second location. That’s how they get you, boss. Unless I’m in your will. Then totally do,” he said. He clapped Morpheus on the shoulder and added, in all his generosity of spirit, “Good luck, man. You’ve got this.”

Morpheus clapped a hand on his shoulder too. It stayed. It squeezed painfully tight. “Matthew. My best friend,” he said.

“Yeah?” he asked. This was not good. This was Big Favor shit coming on, he could smell it.

“Would you go and look for me?” asked Morpheus, in a rush.

“Me?” he asked, and thought That’s it? Morpheus had it bad. So, so bad.

“Yes. Just go look through the window and check him out. Please,” said Morpheus. His voice was edged with hysteria. Matthew thought he might actually start to vibrate apart.

“You’re pathetic, boss,” he said, cheerfully. “Also, that’s creepy as fuck.”

“Matthew,” said Morpheus.

“Alright, alright bossman. I’m going. I’m looking. As your best friend.”

Morpheus nodded and sat himself down heavily on a nearby bench. It sounded like he was doing La Maze breathing.

He climbed the steps and, yes, very fuckin’ creepily peered through the window into the cafe. All groups and couples, definitely not Mystery Bisexual, except - there was a waiter taking an order from the table at the back. There was a closed book on the table. “Is he uh, supposed to have a book or something? You know, since you don’t know what his face looks like?” he asked, and didn’t even make the joke, excellent best friend that he was.

“Yes,” said Morpheus. “Yes, and?”

“And the waiter’s blocking him,” he said. “Wait, hold on, he’s moving-” The waiter left and he sucked in a breath.

“Well? Can you see him? Can you see him?”

“Uh,” he said, dumbly.

“Matthew, New York is an at-will employment state. Matthew. What do you see.”

“I can see him,” he said, slowly. Well, at least Morpheus wouldn’t get murdered by his date. Or he would, actually, but at least Matthew would be able to point the cops in the right direction.

“And?” Or - third possibility - Matthew would be the one murdered, by his own  best friend.

“He’s, uh, he’s hot, boss.” He was. Nice smile, warm eyes, broad shoulders. The sort of approachable hot guy-ness that could make another guy wonder about sucking dick after a few drinks. Y’know. Theoretically.

“I knew it,” said Morpheus, triumphantly. “I knew it. I knew he would be, Matthew. He had to be. Had. To. Be.” He laughed in delight.

Matthew had never heard him sound happier in his life. It was fuckin’ unnerving. He felt like he was witnessing a Great White cavorting through the water like a dolphin. Felt wrong. Felt a bit too toothy. He took a moment to mourn his Christmas bonus, and then sighed and spoke again.

“Uh, boss, it’s just. He sort of looks like, uh, that Hob guy?”

“What, Hob Gadling with the little bookstore?”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s hot, right?”

“Yes. I suppose. Absolutely. I don’t care about Hob Gadling. He’s irrelevant.”

Hoo-fuckin’-boy. Matthew grimaced.

“Boss, if you don’t like Hob Gadling, I can uh, I can promise you, you’re not gonna like your man with the book.”

“Why not?”

“Because it is Hob Gadling.”

[mirisss]

Ampers&One confessing to their crush

Ampers&one x gn! reader 

Warnings: None I think, really fluffy

Wordcount ≈ 2.1k

Thank you for the request 🍩! I hope you like it!

Na Kamden

Kamden would have done his research on how to ask someone out both from asking his friends, looking up tips on the internet, watching romance movies, reading books, and even asking your friends if you had mentioned any scenarios of how you wanted to be asked. 

The result was him choosing to slowly warm up to it. It began with the two of you studying in the library, he was helping you with a subject you struggled a little with, as the sun set and it was getting late, Kamden asked if you wanted to eat dinner together. You said yes, wanting to get closer to the boy who made your heart beat a little quicker. Kamden paid for your food, wanting to be a gentleman. The two of you ate and spoke, laughing and enjoying the moment. Once dinner was done and it was time to head home, Kamden walked you to your door, you hugged him saying goodbye, but then he suddenly stopped you. 

“Wait, (Y/n)!” “Huh? Oh, yeah, what’s up?” He walked closer. “I really like hanging out with you and I would love to spend more time together, as more than friends, if you want that too?” Kamden smiled nervously as he held out his hand, in it he held a necklace with a small flower charm, it was a (your favorite flower). “I’d love to do that too, Kamden,” 

He Brian

Brian would not be as well prepared as Kamden. Nope, Brian would kind of just do it without realizing it. The guy barely knew he had feelings for you before Mackiah and Jiho pointed it out to him. “Hey, lover boy stop staring at your lover and go ask them out already!” His two friends said as they laughed at the shocked face Brian gave them. “What do you mean? (Y/n) isn’t my lover?” “Obviously, because you haven’t asked them out, but you should cause they like you too,” Jiho said. 

Brian thought about that conversation for the next couple of days, but he didn’t know how he should do it, well until today. Brian was about to walk home after his classes had ended, as he walked by the basketball court he saw you standing there alone with a basketball in your hand, staring angrily up at the net. Brian smiled because he found you so cute. He walked over. 

“Hey, (Y/n), what are you doing?” “Oh, Hi Brian! For my gym class next week, we’re playing basketball but I’m really bad at it, and my gym teacher told me today that I have to do somewhat well next week to get a good grade, but as I suck at anything ball-sport related, it’s not looking good for me,” “Mm well, I could try to teach you some moves,” “You could?” You happily said, finally feeling a glint of hope. “Yeah, I used to play basketball almost professionally, until I moved,” “Thank you, Brian, I owe you,” 

For almost 2 hours, Brian gave you a private lesson on how to play basketball. After 2 hours, he noticed that you were getting tired so he decided that would have to be it for today. “Thank you for today Bri,” “No worries, hey, um, do you want to get something to eat?” “Yeah, sure, it’s on me though, as I said, I owe you!” “No, I’ll pay,” “No, I should paaay, Bri,” “What kind of gentleman am I if I don’t pay on a date I asked you out on?” “It’s a date?” That was when Brian realized what he had done. “Yeah, if you want it to be?” “I’d love that,” 

Choi Jiho

Jiho first met you through his younger friend, Siyun. Siyun and you shared a class and during a lunch break, Siyun brought you with him to the table where his friends sat as your other friends were sick or busy that day. All the boys were super nice and you especially took a liking to Jiho, finding interest in his major. Jiho immediately fell in love with you, it was love at first sight for him. He would be a little nervous around you but you didn’t notice. Jiho was just a little bit jealous too, jealous of Siyun who got to see you all the time. Therefore, Jiho did everything he could to show you that he was better than his friend. 

After you were invited to a movie night with the seven boys who made up your classmates friend group, Jiho got to find out something that helped him out. 

“Come on, please can we watch a horror movie? Please guys,” Seungmo really wanted to watch a horror movie but some of the guys were against it, Jiho wanted to hear your opinion before he stated his own. “(Y/n), where do you stand on the horror movie? Do you like them or not?” “Um, both, I kind of like them but I also get scared so if I wanna watch one, I’ll always need someone beside me that I can hold onto,” You laughed a bit nervously, making Jiho smile as he found it cute. “You can always hold onto me if you want,” The way he said it and the way his eyes looked so warm as he gently gazed into your eyes made your heart skip a few beats and a blush crept up on your cheeks. “Then I want to watch a horror movie,” “Same, so that means the majority wants to watch the horror movie,” 

Everyone sat down in their designated spots, you stood a bit awkwardly on the side wondering where you should sit. Jiho waved you over to the couch where he was sitting, Siyun on the other end. “Come on, you can’t hold on to me from over there,” At the beginning of the movie, Jiho was disappointed as you just sat in the middle of the couch with him on one side and Siyun on the other seemingly totally fine. As the movie was approaching its middle point, the first real jump scare happened and you were very frightened almost jumping onto Jiho as you hid your face in his chest. Jiho’s heartbeat was racing but he felt happy, he embraced his arms around your frame, hugging you tightly to him. 

After the movie was over, Jiho reluctantly removed his arms from around you as it was time for people to head home. He walked you over to the door, hugging you to say goodbye. “Thank you for being my human shield tonight, it was really nice, you’re a great hugger, whoever gets to date you is lucky,” “Do you wanna be lucky?” “What do you mean?” “Want to go on a date?” “Seriously?” “Yeah, (Y/n), do you want to go on a date with me, Choi Jiho?” “Yes, I do,” 

Yoon Siyun

Siyun and you would be friends, studying together or just belonging to the same friend group. The two of you both enjoy photography, so sometimes, the two of you tend to stray away from the group as you wish to take photos of the clouds or nature. Without realizing it, Siyun began snapping photos of you as he fell for your passion. He thought you looked really cute as you concentrated on getting the perfect photo of a flower as a gentle breeze was blowing. It would take him a few weeks to realize that he was doing this, it wasn’t until he needed to go through his pictures to find one for an assignment in school that he found the majority of his camera roll from the last month was just photos of you. 

When he realized this, he knew that he had feelings for you, and he knew the perfect way to confess. He would print out all of his favorite photos he had taken of you and even some photos of the two of you together. He made a small collage of them, decorating it with flower stickers and other cute stickers. Next time he met up with you, he would ask if you wanted to see the photos he loved the most, and you, of course, said yes. He took out the collage and gave it to you. In the middle of it, he had written, I love you. “I love you too, Siyun,” 

Choi Kyrell

He wouldn’t be the one to confess first, he would want to but he would also be too scared to ruin things with the person he liked. For more read Your warm embrace. 

Mercer Mackiah

Mackiah would be totally whipped for you, he would try to act cool and impress you but the second you look away he is following you with puppy eyes. Whenever you asked for something he would get it in a heartbeat. 

“Uh I could really use a snack right now, I’m so hungry but I still have two more classes before the day is over,” “Uhm, I just need to go to the bathroom, be back in a sec,” Mackiah would run over to the cafeteria and buying you a snack then run back with it, luckily the boy has a lot of energy and he’s a fast runner. “Here, I got you a snack,” He’d smile brightly as he handed you the snack, his eyes sparkling with joy at being able to get you a snack. “Thanks, Mackiah, you didn’t need to,” “But I wanted to,” 

Other times it could be during an evening hangout, your friend group was at a park just hanging out and talking. Later on, a chilly breeze passed by, reminding you of your lack of a jacket. ��I’m so stupid, I didn’t bring a jacket even though I knew we would be out for a long time,” “Hey, it’s okay, here, I brought a blanket, we can share it,” Mackiah quickly opened his bag and took out a blanket, he then walked over to you, wrapping it around your shoulders as he sat down very close to you. “Thanks, are you sure you don’t mind sharing it?” “Of course not, I’d love to share it. Anything for you,” “You’re so sweet, Mackiah, you’re like every person’s dream boyfriend,” “Even yours?” “I mean, yeah, you’re nice, sweet, caring, funny, not to mention handsome, loyal, oh-” Mackiah suddenly stopped your rambling by leaning in and kissing your cheek. “Can I be your boyfriend then?” “Yes, please,” He tried to stay cool but the second he turned his face away from you, he was turning as red as a tomato as he cheered internally. 

Kim Seungmo

Seungmo would be really afraid of rejection so he wouldn’t dare ask you face to face. No, he would write a letter with the help of his friends. He rewrote the letter many times because he wanted it to be perfect. 

Once he had his perfect letter, that basically just said: 

“hey, (Y/n), I’m in love with you, wanna go out? Love Seungmo, but like no pressure if you don’t” 

His friends wondered why he opted for such a simple letter instead of the three pages long once he had them help him write, but no one was surprised. They knew Seungmo, he’s young and terrified of confessing to his first love. 

Seungmo ended up leaving the letter in your locker, waiting behind a corner to see your reaction to the letter. When you opened your locker and found the letter you locked around a little confused but figured that it was for you. You opened it and read the sentence, laughing a little and blushing. You looked around to try and spot the tall boy with now blonde-blue hair, and while he was hiding behind a corner, he wasn’t really hidden. You walked over to him, he was nervous and ready to bolt out of there. 

“Hi, Seungmo,” “Hey, (Y/n),” “Yes,” “Yes?” “Yes, I wanna go out with you,” “Really?” “Yeah, and I like you too!” Seungmo nervously put his hand out toward you, looking shyly between it, your eyes, and your hand. You smiled at the shy boy before putting your hand in his, and so you walked out of the school together, hand in hand, shy smiles and red cheeks, nervous giggles could be heard every now and then.

[winterrrnight]

prompt list 3

as always, I am not taking any credit for any of these. These are collected off various sources from the internet mostly tumblr and pinterest. find prompt list 1 here and prompt list 2 here.

“You can call me whenever you want… even if you don’t have a reason to.”

“No like … it’s just, I can’t believe you are wearing my clothes.”

“I know I haven’t always been in the past, but I am here now. I am trying. Please, just let me in.”

“Do everything as I say, and we both might as well live to tell the tale.”

“Please tell me that at least a part of it was real.”

“Just because you’re beautiful and a good kisser does not mean I forgive you.” “I’m beautiful?”

“Get up, get up, the sunrise is so pretty and the birds are chirping and the clouds are pink!” “You know what else is pretty? Sleep.”

“Should I stop talking?” “No, your voice is very soothing.”

“My last date didn’t go so well, and now they are stalking me. Can you please pretend we’re dating so I can get them off my back?”

“Do you think they’ll notice if I sneak in a kiss?”

“I feel strange when you are around.” “Do you have a fever or something?”

“C’mere. Sit down. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m your friend, of course I care!”

“C’mere, you can sit on my lap until I am done working.”

“Hey! Stay away from them!” “What?” “You heard me, take a step back. Now 3 more. Now 20 more. Now the rest of the numbers until you reach your house and stay there forever.”

“Actually, we’re leaving. We have something to get to.” “No we don’t – oh, okay fine I’ll call you guys later.”

“Why don’t you just jam your knee right up my crotch? It's 100% fine, yeah, I am totally okay with that.”

“My family was never the touchy-feely type.”

“You look like you’re from the rain and sauce era.” “...excuse me?” “You know, rain and sauce.” “Do, do you mean renaissance?”

“It won’t be easy you know – loving me.”

“You can’t just lose your temper like this each time you get a little upset!”

“It’s not too windy for you, right?”

“Well, I put it on the grocery list!” “I didn’t think I needed the list!” “Of course you needed the list!”

“All I ever wanted was you to take care of me.”

“Let me do that, you should rest.”

“When I told you I loved you, you know I meant it right? I’m not just talking about all those warm feelings. I’m talking about putting in all the work. I’m here to stay for the hard parts, not just the pretty ones.”

“When you were drunk last night, you kept on saying I kiss better than anyone. Which is weird, since we’ve never kissed.”

“I don’t need a reason to bring you flowers, I just wanted to.”

“You know, we have to be the only best friends who do this.”

“Why are you on the table?” “Better view of life.” “...where’s the spider?” “By the door.”

[jmesther]

My mum just scolded me for five minutes straight. (for being “depressed, secretive, and double faced”) One thing she said was you’re dishonest with me. I couldn’t say nothing to her because I’m bounded from saying such a thing. This is what I would’ve said: I’m dishonest with you because I don’t trust you. I don’t trust you. I don’t trust with being vulnerable with you. You’re not a person to be vulnerable with. You have show me time and time again: You are not trustable or reliable; you are not someone to be vulnerable with; I shouldn’t let my guard down in your presence. And to be clear, I don’t trust no one in my family. It isn’t just my mom, it’s especially my mom. She thinks I’m depressed because I have no friends. And she says to fix that I should go to brick & mortar to school. I’m depressed because of her. I’m quite accustomed to not having friends now. I don’t just want any friends cause they could also be bad influences to me. She says I got that because Dad made me adopt that mindset. I said I’ve seen it everywhere even in church camp they were a bunch of kids say not good stuff. I’ve had a conversation with an adult. She said yeah, schools are like that. The Internet tells me schools are like that. Dad doesn’t even tell me that a lot anyways. He said that once or twice my entire lifetime. Since my mom is prophetic and dreams a lot, she says well I saw you jumped off a bridge in my dream. She wasn’t wrong at all. I just kind of looked at god like “Seriously you told her that?!?”. I still think about it a ton, but I am very confident in myself that I won’t ever actually do it. Simply because I’m fully aware that I am not done on my time on this earth and I still have to do things not because I want to, but because God still needs me to do things on this earth. And even if it just helps one person so be it. And I know I’m going through process that I need to learn how to deal with things completely alone only with God. I think it’s a great idea that he put me through this process. Because it lays a great foundation for the rest of my life. It helps me learn to have faith and trust him and him only and then I’ll be able to add more people in my life as I go on. Is it painful? Absolutely but the end result is a treasure. Not to mention, it could also be used as a testimony. Then she says (arguing with Dad) you haven’t seen our children (me, and my brother) cry at night. I have to deal with them all alone. That’s laughable. Mom haven’t seen a fraction the amount of times that I have cried. You might be saying “she can probably hear you at night”. I cry below a whisper. The indication that I’m crying is tears are falling out otherwise my breathing and my voice is even and unwavering. I’ve had people walked into my room as I was crying as long as I had my face turned away from them. They did not notice. I even laughed as I’m doing it. So she can actually hear me she be more concerned about what I’m whispering (Talking to myself in other words, venting to myself. Done for years it works.) than me crying. Also my parents are seniors.(50+) They cannot hear well. My entire lifetime, not including when I was crying as a little kid. my mom is probably see me cry about 9 times. I have mental breakdowns daily, ok? If my mom actually knew she would send me to therapy. Why am I posting this on the Internet? Idk it’s therapeutic. Also, someone might have advice although I doubt I can actually use it.

[simslegacy5083]

Not So Berry (Straud Descendants) Gen 9

Today's (8/23/2024) Episode: Gaming and Goodbyes

As everyone settled down for dinner after Skye aged up, Luigi snagged a seat across from Jade and wasted no time launching into 20 questions. 

"I'm one of the only sims around here who believes in The Watcher" he told her, "other than some real crackpots on the internet anyway." He shuddered. "So, what's it like for you, living under their direct influence? My Papa always said The Watcher could control just about anything but if that's true the one around here has a sick sense of humor!"

He then went on to describe some of the many misfortunes that had befallen him and Noemi in the past.

"Oh…my…that's a lot " was all Jade could think to say when he'd finally wound down. Well, Isra did warn me… she thought before responding.

"I don't think our Watcher controls everything. For example, my mom's friend Summer died quite unexpectedly recently, it was really hard on her. Being a legacy family may mean The Watcher keeps a closer eye on us, but in general more crazy things happen when we're around, not less!" 

"Do you know the legacy family here?" she asked "Isra and Par haven’t heard of one, but I thought The Watcher had favorites in every nation.”

"Well, actually…" Luigi began, before Noemi cut him off. "No. We've never heard anyone even mention a legacy family." she said, glaring at him. 

Jade could tell she'd stepped in something with her question, though she wasn't sure what. Now more ready than ever to extract herself from the awkward conversation she rose "It was nice chatting with you, but I think I'm going to go inside and get out of this heat for awhile."

"Hey! If we’re going inside, I’ll fire up the gaming console and start the real fun.” Rhys said. "Anyone else ready to join us?”

“You know that’s my jam." Luigi stood too, causing Jade to suppress a groan. At least if we’re playing he’ll stop talking so much! she thought.

“My foot has a prior appointment with Darth’s ass," Beau chimed in “Just give me a minute to visit the bathroom for the hundredth time today first." 

After a great session of gaming with the chatty e-sports pros Jade was almost sorry to see them off at the end of the night. “It was great to meet you, kid” Luigi told her. “Sorry about all that doom and gloom earlier. I have a tendency to get wrapped up in myself, but you were a trooper about it, and a pretty good video gamer to boot! If you decide to explore a career in E-Sports look me up, I can introduce you to some people.”

“I’ll do that” Jade fibbed, trying to be nice despite having no interest in becoming a professional nerd herself. “It was nice to meet you too.”

“Luigi, I know you believe yourself to be a legacy heir the same as Jade's sister and mother do, but we both know that isn't a "thing" here." Noemi reminded him once they’d returned home. "I thought we agreed we were going to keep that little piece of Lawbourne lore to ourselves." 

Luigi sighed "I know. I just got so excited meeting someone from another legacy; I got carried away. Thank you for reining me in, as usual."

"Happy to do it" she chuckled “now, how about you get Skye to bed while I get started on my latest side project? This one wants all their phone icons updated to penguins! The things sims come up with to do with technology…"

"Thank you again, so much, for having me. I had a blast!" Jade gushed the following morning. "I've got the pictures we took, the gifts you made for everyone, and your donation for Sims United in my inventory. I'm sure everyone will love them." 

"It was so wonderful to see you again" Wren smiled "I'll be stalking you on social media; I can't wait to see those graduation photos!"

Isra chimed in, “All Elyse wanted to talk about this morning was how much she loved hanging with "silly Auntie J!“, making Jade blush happily.

"I'll be sure to send along any fun kid appropriate memes I find for you to share with my little nieces and nephew.“ After one final hug and kiss she headed towards the teleporter that would take her home, her family watching her retreating back until she blinked out of sight.

Once Jade had disappeared back to her homeland Isra’s quietly weeping par buried their face in her shoulder and whispered, “It was wonderful to see her, but so hard to watch her go.”

“I know” Isra agreed “You want to come home with me and give your grandbabies a snuggle?"

Wren nodded, grateful for Isra’s loving support as they stepped out into the warm paradise of a sunny Sulani day.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[beatsboy]

8.19.24 / day 57 of being a delusional artist

day 5 of moon time

today was chaotic, i was under slept, it was 90 degrees outside, and yet, i still carved out time for my art, albeit at the end of the day, and i almost managed to eat a meal before 11am (even though i’d been up since 8). the problem is not when i wake up, i don’t even mind if i get up late, it’s that i keep getting stuck in holes. in hyper fixations. and not the good kind. like the kind that makes your fear of contamination worse and worse every time you open instagram. like the kind that makes grocery stores a battle ground.

today in therapy, we talked about my obsessions, compulsions, and how they’ve been inhibiting my daily life lately. it feels like it’s always about control, unless it’s about my father. i did realize today in therapy, that, because my father controlled me for so much of my life—even when i rebelled, and sometimes especially when i rebelled—i relied on him to inform me of what was real, what wasn’t, what was good, bad, immoral, etc and now i have to figure these things out for myself.

instead of asking myself what i think, though, i ask the internet. i look for experts to validate any side, either side, any opinion, just tell me it’s right and true and real. like my dawn dish soap. i don’t really give a shit if it’s poisonous or not, i’d just like to know if i need to stop using it. it’s more than the dawn dish soap, though. and it’s about more than controlling my environment in a post-addiction life. it’s about the root of the problem: i don’t trust myself anymore. or, maybe i never did, i’m not sure.

i don’t really think i trusted myself back then, i think i more so just leaned into the chaos of it all and let go. sure, substances helped to embrace this chaos. my (same) therapist at the time told me that she thought perhaps i didn’t want to let go of my attachment to being a hot mess. she was right, of course. that was a difficult part of myself to let go of since it was inextricably tied to being accountable for my actions, and responsible for actual growth and change. it was easier to cry about my ex, fuck his friends, and blame it on how much i drank. same as it was easier to go into a k hole in my bedroom and have video sex with strangers on the internet, shoving a dildo up my ass until i feel something, barely able to remember it the next day when i go to work, than to simply be alone with myself at night, in a time when everything was closed, and i had no one else to talk to.

so, alas, now, that i am not an unhinged addicted closeted transsexual, i have let go of much of the chaos, and yet, i have found myself bound to an order that does not always serve me. there are rules in my head, spirals that lead to rabbit hole upon rabbit hole of research and internet deep diving, only to come out with no answers. i still don’t know if crocs are toxic, if dawn dish soap is poisoning me, or if receipts put forever chemicals in your bloodstream just by touching them, but there are some things i cannot afford to worry about, and those things are taking up so much space in my brain it is hard to see anything else. yes, we are talking about if i have ocd or not, i think it might just be the autism though if i’m being honest like, i haven’t always been so afraid of food and contamination things, it’s really developed more and more since covid. that’s when i developed an intense fear of getting sick (i remember taking a full shower and stripping my clothes in the garage the first time i was exposed) and working in healthcare where i had to be exposed was not fun during that time, so i just tried to learn as much as i could to feel as in control of the situation as i could, because i was so scared of getting it. when i got the call that i was getting my vaccine, i literally cried. and now, i know i’m immunocompromised, and the vaccine is not t h a t effective on me and i’ve had it like 3 fucking times and i’m even more scared now because of that so yeah

and i mean i want to believe that it’s the food poisoning me, that it’s my dish soap, or my polyester clothing because even removing every single ounce of plastic from my life is easier than going through the american healthcare system when you don’t know what’s wrong with you and i do know parts, i know about my eds, which has helped explain a lot, and i know that my digestion is s l o w but i don’t know w h y so that’s fun

through all this fear, nonetheless, and realizing that my fear and internet rabbit holing was a way to fill the void where i used to have a father, i still sat down and made art today. i opened ableton, i worked on choirboy, which is, in a way, a song in reference to my father, and myself, of course. i wonder what he would think if he heard it.

[mockerycrow]

if you’re comfortable, could you dive more into your military family/background? like just lil facts or something, whatever you wanna share! i just love learning about stuff like this, learning about other peoples lives, especially because im a huge maladaptive daydreamer and into creative writing, n my current obsession is the military / SAS and im just curious about what things are actually like, from a personal perspective.

and if not that’s perfectly okay!! ❣️❣️

i cant say too much because the family members that have served, many of them have signed different kinds of NDAs (non-disclosure agreements, so i haven’t been told too much) but I can talk about some of my dad’s experience. My dad was in the Navy and he was a machinists mate nuclear. He worked on a submarine and worked on some things and witnessed some things he had to sign NDAs for. He managed to meet a couple of SEALs and had in depth conversations with them. My dad easily dehumanizes folks due to his time in the service, too. He was never special forces, but it’s very important even basic bootcamp teaches you to dehumanize folks. that’s the point of it!!

My dad’s dad was also navy, although i don’t remember his specific rate (rate = job, it’s the navy version of job/MOS or “military occupational specialty”) but i do remember it involved fighting, he was a ww2 if i remember right. My mom’s dad was air force, also a ww2 vet, he was a pilot of some sort, retired now. old bastard is somehow alive 😭 (my parents were born in the 60s).

a hard topic.. one of my babysitters (who is a family friend) is a veteran who went to afghanistan. (reminder im american). he didn’t come back the same and not all of him came back.. and he came back very.. violent if that makes sense?? he never hit me, his wife, or his kids, but he is very dehumanizing. he was some sort of special forces and this guy is messed up.

growing up, my dad wasn’t like.. strict, he wasn’t around too much, but you could tell the military changed his life. he always refers to the family as a team instead of individuals (the military does that to you, strips you of individualism and gives you the team mindset). he’s a great leader and he’s one of my role models as a human being in the real world. i grew up and got educated by him and the internet about the military, so i know quite a lot. if you have any specific questions about literally anything, i can try my best to answer!!!

i’m also going into the military and i’m open to questions abt that :-)