#I haven’t felt good about photos of me in MONTHS

[mindmythorns]

i can feel my heart race

🖤

can you?

[cimmanonrowl]

Hi, I saw that you’re taking dbf requests for Hotch! Could I request a fic with dbf!Hotch where he finally makes a move on reader during a party being hosted by her dad? Also, I love your fics sm!!

Dress

It was your father’s appointment party as Chief Justice when lawyers and businessmen overtly offer their sons as your marriage prospects. All while Aaron Hotchner listened quietly beside you, you can tell that he’s not too happy about it.

Pairing: dbf!aaron hotchner x bfd!reader

Theme: spicy hotshot

Contents: age gap, making out, angry confession.

The decorous garden of your home residence was filled with a crowd of guests long before the party officially started. Prominent people of different names and titles— some of your father’s business partners and colleagues in the Supreme Court, and some family friends you barely recognize— draped in their finest garments and overtly high status in society.

Pleasantries and polite conversations were exchanged; and as your father greeted each one of his dear friends, you had no other choice but to stay beside him all the time and be on your best behavior.

“You have a very nice house here, Chief Justice,” Emilia Kane— one of your father’s business partners as you recalled— said with a dainty smile.

You mirrored her small nod when she glanced at you, smiling politely at the woman and the other two beside her. “Good evening, Ma’am.”

“Good evening, dear. You look absolutely gorgeous…” She took a sip of her champagne and raked your outfit subtly, a kind smile on her face. “What year are you in University now?”

“She just graduated a month ago, Emilia. She’s entering Harvard Law this fall, haven’t I told you yet?” Your father intercepted proudly, making you purse your lips as you initially intended to answer the question.

The woman beamed in amazement as she glanced at you. “Oh my, congratulations! I’m so sorry I didn’t know.”

“She graduated top of her class.”

You sighed lightly, glancing at your father. “Dad…”

“I’m sure you’ve seen the photos, Emilia. I posted everything on my social accounts...” Father dear went on, still smiling widely.

“Dad, please.”

“Oh, did you?” The woman said in awe, alternating her amused gaze between you and your father. “And did he get you a new car, dear? An apartment? What did he get you for your graduation?”

“I wanted to give her all thos—”

“No, dad…” You shook your head, chuckling.

“Well, I rented an entire villa in Mykonos for her and her friends. She just got back from Greece yesterday.”

“Dad!” Heat crept in your cheeks as he continued. This conversation is making you sound like a hopeless case of a spoiled brat when it wasn’t entirely true. You might appear spoiled for other people at times but not on a hopeless— certainly not on a spoiled brat level.

“Oh, dear, you’re fine…” The other woman chuckled sympathetically. “I bought my son a new Porsche just because he didn’t get himself kicked out of University. I’m sure your father’s just proud.”

You shyly darted your gaze at your dad as you felt his palm on your linked arms. “Why won’t I be? She’s my only daughter...”

The light conversation continued and was only interrupted when a couple of new guests approached your father. Several familiar faces of lawyers and judges; some from your father’s law firm and some from the Supreme Court. Over the past years, you got to know most of them, making you fix your posture and remind yourself to smile more pleasantly.

So you stood there prettily in silence, smiling, as you accepted their handshakes.

“You look beautiful, hija…”

You beamed at the compliment. “Thank you, attorney. Good evening.”

“Have you seen Marcus around? He told me he’d look for you.”

“Marcus?” You perked your eyebrows in curiosity. “Is he home already?”

The innocent question made your father chuckle a bit. “Yes, sweetie. I told you I played golf with them last week, remember?”

A bashful smile tugged at your lips as you looked at Attorney Jensen. They’re one of your closest family friends. His son, Marcus, is one of the kids you grew up hanging around with at law firm parties and at weekend golf clubs. He’s a nice kid... but everything turned weird when everyone started pairing you both as teenagers.

Your father must’ve told you about Marcus’ arrival but you’re sure you didn’t care enough the first time that you missed the entire story when he called.

“Well, I’m sure he’s just around...” You said with a sweet smile.

Minutes dragged by and their conversations continued. You stood beside your father in silence, occasionally engaging in the small talk. Some of the men asked about your education, your plan after law school, and your love life— all of which you answered as briefly and politely as possible.

“Sir, it’s time to prepare for your opening speech—” You turned in the organizer’s direction when you heard her voice.

You stared at your father expectantly. Well, it’s not like he would need your help in preparing for his speech. He’s a Chief Justice for heaven’s sake, surely he can do that alone. You just hope he’s not thinking of leaving you alone with these men.

“Thank you, Laura…” Your father turned to glance down at you. “Honey, would you mind staying here for a whi— never mind— Aaron!”

Your heart almost burst into ashes with the sudden cry of your father. You quickly followed his line of sight— immediately being greeted by the sight of your father’s dear best friend since University days.

Aaron Hotchner.

He’s in a well-polished suit. His dark hair was clean cut and even from afar, you can see the light stubble on his jaw. And Jesus Christ, how can someone look that good?

“Chief Justice,” He greeted your father with an equally wide yet endearing smile, deftly shaking hands while your father chuckled heartily.

Aaron turned to you with a timid smile, opening his arms as a little invitation. You noticed the hint of hesitation on his face with that. Yet still, you accepted the hug before placing a quick and delicate kiss on his cheek, your hands shaking as you perched both your palms on his arm.

“I’ll excuse myself for a while. Will you look after her, Aaron?” You heard your father say as you scrambled to step away from Aaron’s embrace.

He wetted his lower lip before nodding, not even daring to look at you. “Yeah, sure.”

Embarrassment licked your skin as you watched your unsuspecting father walk away. The moment he was completely out of sight, you felt Aaron’s gentle hand snaking at the low of your back, securing you from the waist— as if preventing you from running away from him.

Effortlessly, he engaged in conversations as he settled beside you. And just like earlier, you fell silent as everyone else was busy in their own conversations.

“How about you, are you planning to get married soon after graduating from Harvard Law?”

You smiled lightly as a couple of guests whirled their attention back to you. “I’m afraid I’ll have to look for a boyfriend first, attorney.”

Aaron’s thumb started rubbing soft strokes at your waist. He seemed to be doing that unconsciously because when you glanced at him, he was talking to another group of guests standing at his side.

“So you’re currently looking for a boyfriend?”

“Not really, no...” You chuckled awkwardly. “But if I meet a good one, why not?”

The older man took a huge swig of his brandy. “I have a son. He’s in DC. Surgeon.”

You nodded with an unsure smile. What do you even do with that kind of information?

“That’s impressive...” You said instead.

“He’s also looking for a girlfriend. I can hook you up if you like. I mean, he also graduated from Harvard—”

“That’s kind of you, attorney, but as I said I’m not really looking…”

“My son’s an architect. I believe your father mentioned you’re into art, is that correct?” Another man interrupted, taking an interest in the conversation.

“Yes, attorney…” You gave him a small smile.

Although this night wasn’t meant for you in any way, you’re aware that you are your father’s reflection to these people. You know how crucial it is that you remain polite as much as possible.

“Just a few dates, what do you say?” He offered with a humorous smile. “Come on, maybe we can merge our firms one day. You know, I don’t have any successor of my own. My son’s an architect.”

“It’s not her fault your son chose architecture,” Attorney Jensen cut off before you can reply for yourself. “Besides, my son has been courting her since they were young. He went home this year just to ask her out officially.”

Your breath hitched as you felt Aaron’s grip on your waist tighten. You glanced up at him in confusion, only to see that his usually kind eyes turned piercing, his eyebrows pulled into a tight frown. He seemed mad— furious. He looked furious at the incredulity he was hearing.

You glanced away, not sure what to make of that.

“I believe we need to go to our tables now...” Aaron said formally, his voice deep and serious. His eyes were pointed at his old colleagues and other businessmen.

You smiled at the waiting guests. “I believe I still want to hear what they’re saying...”

Aaron turned to you in disbelief, his scowl deepened.

“About?”

“About their sons.”

You watched Aaron with an innocent look, tilting your head a little, calming the rapid beating of your heart as you saw him let out a sigh of frustration.

Attorney Jensen chuckled at the sight. “Oh, come on now, Aaron. She’s a grown woman, plus it’s just a few dates. It won’t hurt surely.”

“Surely...” You nodded along, glancing at the other men. “It won’t hurt to try.”

You bit your lower lip as Aaron leaned into your ear. His hot breath fanned over your skin, his deep voice sending chills to trickle down your spine.

“Continue this conversation, young lady, and let’s see what will happen.”

The horrified look on your face drew laughter from the guests. They must’ve thought Aaron was threatening to tell this to your father. So you turned away, your smile dropping as you looked around apologetically.

Your father’s voice from the make-shift stage snatched everyone’s attention from you and the conversation. Some marshalls started ushering people to their seats to prepare for the opening speech of the Chief Justice. With small nods and smiles, they all marched toward their respective tables and left you on the spot with Aaron.

“Come with me.”

You staggered sidewards, looking around in slight panic. “The party’s starting.”

“We have to talk.”

“Aaron,” You sighed, eyeing the stage. “My father’s giving his speech…”

That only made him frown deeper. “You proofread that speech for him, you won’t miss anything.”

“So what if I did? I still want to listen.”

He wandered his gaze around the venue before guiding you away from the crowd. It was seldom that Aaron visited your home residence. When he and your father hang out, they usually visit bars, golf clubs, or shooting ranges. But he does know the basic layout of your house. And you know that he’s leading you inside your home this time.

Deep down, you feel like you know exactly where he wants to talk.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” He blurted out angrily the moment you stepped inside your room.

You whirled around to face him, crossing your arms across your chest as you heaved a tired sigh.

“What, Aaron?”

He took a step forward. “Is that your way of getting back at me?”

You shrugged, still confused about the point he was making. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You perfectly know what I’m talking about.”

A beat of silence.

Then realization dawned, making you smile in pure resignation.

Two months ago, you made up your mind and finally confessed to Aaron Hotchner. You’re already graduating from University. You will enter a Law School soon. What’s there to lose? Aaron had been showing the subtlest of signs that he likes you back: the way he looks at you, the way he makes you feel cared for and safe, the way— you mistook everything for a reciprocated love.

He cared for you, yes.

Simply because you are your father’s extension.

So what’s this? Why bother now?

“It was clear you didn’t like me,” You whispered quietly. “Which is fine, Aaron, really. I understand— I mean, I was hurt obviously. But… but I understand. I’ll just have to move on, right?”

“You’ve no idea what you’re saying…” He mumbled hoarsely, still piercing you with his darkened gaze. With quick steps, he bridged the gap between you and cupped your cheeks on both his hands.

You swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to meet his eyes. “Aaron…”

“How can I let you move on when that thought alone is killing me?”

Your breath hitched at his words. “W-what?”

“Fuck this,” He spat angrily before placing a chaste kiss on your lips. “You’re driving me mad, sweetheart.”

The sound of muffled laughter, distant conversations, and clinking glasses filtered in through the partially open window. You can barely hear a word of what your father was saying in his speech. All you are aware of is how Aaron desperately chased your lips with hungry and deep kisses, and how the weight of his body was forcing you to blindly take several steps back.

You melted into his sinful lips, your arms snaking around his neck and pulling him closer. You felt his hands move down to your waist, gripping tightly the thin fabric of your satin dress. The sound of ragged breathing mingled in the air as he walked you backward, backward until your back finally hit the wall.

His lips trailed down your neck, nipping and leaving a wet trail of heat in your wake.

You gasped, your fingers tangling in his hair as you arched into him. “Aaron…”

“God, I’ve wanted this for so long,” he murmured against your skin, his voice rough with desire. His big, calloused hands roamed over your body, exploring, familiarizing you.

“Aaron, what are you—” You rasped weakly as he broke another kiss, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Don’t do that again…” He whispered back, breathing heavily as he closed his eyes. “I’ll figure it out. I’ll think of something, I’ll do something just don’t—”

“Don’t what, Aaron?”

“You’ve no idea what you were saying. Your confession— how can you think that I don’t like you?”

“Well…” You blushed, still catching your breath. “You didn’t say anything after, then you sent me home. You didn’t attend my graduation. You didn’t reply to my texts or even congratulate me.”

“You told me I don’t have to say anything…”

“Well, technically, if you didn’t say anything then you don’t like me.”

“You really have no idea what you’re saying, darling.”

You shivered at his whispered words, feeling a surge of boldness. Your hands found the button of his shirt, eager to feel the warmth of his skin. You clumsily tugged on his tie and ripped his clothes off of him, tossing them aside.

Aaron Hotchner could only watch in anticipation as you let the strap of your dress fall on the soft curve of your shoulders... until all your clothes quickly became a forgotten pile on the floor, your moans intertwining like ropes in the party-stained air.

As always, any thoughts and reactions are highly appreciated. Plus, to anon who requested this, YOU ARE AN ANGEL. I loved crafting this with this plot, and hopefully, you liked it as much as I do! See you all on the next ones, we have a few other good requests!

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Wishes fulfilled [S. R.] birthday wishes pt. 2

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

word count: 7.7k

summary: After an unfortunate event, Spencer questions what he really feels about his childhood best friend.

contains: best friends to lovers, a little angst at the beginning, conflict over feelings, mostly fluff

A/N: A anon suggested there be a second part for birthday wishes and I thought, why not? You can read it as a standalone or as a continuation, tell me what you thought! this makes me very happy:)

The months passed and very soon the Christmas season arrived. There were some allusive decorations courtesy of García and she had even placed a small tree in the meeting room with symbolic gifts under it, one for each member of the team that they could open after Christmas Eve. It was a month full of warmth, love and delicious hot chocolate, but criminals in the United States didn't seem to adhere to that rule so the BAU continued with business as usual.

“She was Abigail Jones,” Garcia began, projecting an image on the conference room screen of a woman who must have been in her thirties. “She was found dead yesterday in her apartment in Las Vegas, in the area of Downtown, with multiple signs of violence, sexual abuse, and a completely disfigured face…” when she said this, she turned away from looking at the photo, with good reason, as it made even the strongest members feel nauseous.

There were two other victims, the same mobile phone and in scattered areas of the city. They were single women, who lived alone and although they didn’t seem to share traits in terms of their socioeconomic level, they were extremely similar physically and that is why Spencer's stomach turned when he realized how much they looked like you. A call to Hotch's phone interrupted the presentation and they all waited for the exchange to end, until after exchanging a few sentences the man spoke.

“It was the police chief. There is a new victim, they just found her in the Summerlin area, in an apartment complex on Pennwood Avenue.”

“At Pennwood?” Spencer asked, turning completely pale as she heard the area where the attack had taken place “Who is she?”

“They haven’t yet identified the body, but she has the same characteristics as the other women”

Everyone was shocked to see the doctor get up from the table and leave the room without giving any explanation, apparently to make a call from his phone. Aaron set the departure time of the jet and after that some members approached the young agent to try to find out what was happening. He seemed very worried, with the device pressed firmly against his ear and his gaze lost.

“What's wrong, Reid?”

“I'm calling Y/N,” he explained, feeling his breathing begin to quicken. “She lives in those apartments.”

The rest of the team seemed to understand, then, the concern that had overcome the man due to the information they had just received. They were also profilers and even with the little that they knew you, they knew that you fit perfectly into victimology, so it wasn’t difficult for them to connect both dots to realize what Spencer's fear was.

The first call had no answer, other than the answering machine, so he called again, again and again until panic took him in its clutches like prey.

“Dude, calm down.”

"She doesn’t answer!" Spencer practically sobbed, feeling like everything around him was spinning and a second later collapsing into Morgan's arms.

"What's going on?"

“Reid fears that the woman they just found is Y/N,” JJ explained to her boss. By this point the entire team was already gathered around the man, sharing the worry that was tormenting him and thinking about the possibilities of everything. The trip to Vegas was longer than usual trips, which didn't help in the least.

Spencer felt a chill when he tried to dial your number again and, just like before, he only heard your pre-recorded voice.

“Okay, listen,” Hotch said firmly, as he approached Spencer and grabbed his shoulders to get his attention. “I'm going to ask the officer to call me as soon as they identify the body, until then I need you to calm down. Do you know if Y/N has any particular signs with which they can tell us now if it is her?”

“Huh, she…” he stammered, struggling to put two coherent thoughts together to answer, “she has a… a mole on her belly, I think. It’s small and red.”

Under other circumstances the team would have mocked him, asking him how he had that knowledge or something along those lines, however, the situation was too delicate to allow for jokes.

“Okay, get your things so we can leave as soon as possible. And again, calm down,” Hotch said firmly, pointing at the agent. “It's not her, Reid. I know it"

Spencer tried to do what his boss had asked, but he kept dialing his cell phone every two minutes hoping to hear a response. He tried to calm down by telling himself that the chances of that body being yours were very low and trying to find in his mind some statistics that would corroborate this, but fear barely allowed him to understand the situation enough to know any information at that moment.

Obviously he was the first to arrive at the jet and he didn't stop trying to communicate with you, until he saw Aaron walk through the hallway with an expression he couldn't decipher.

"She…"

“No,” the man responded immediately. “The victim's name is Olivia Anderson. She’s not Y/N”

Hearing this he let out a breath of air and took a couple of steps until he reached the opposite one, to wrap him in a hug of complete relief. Hotch responded with warmth and a murmur of 'I told you so', which was interrupted by the arrival of the rest of the team.

Even though you still weren't answering the calls, Spencer was able to feel calmer during the flight, enough to analyze various aspects of the case that allowed him to offer valuable contributions for the future. When delegating the commissions, the unit chief was condescending to him and asked him to go to the last crime scene, so that with some luck you could meet and he could make sure that you were okay.

When they arrived in Nevada, the snow greeted them and Spencer adjusted his scarf tighter as he got into the car that Morgan would drive to the crime scene. The walk wasn't long and once there Derek motioned to his partner when the officer arrived to talk to both of them, as if he were permitting him to enter the building instead of staying. Spencer didn't hesitate to practically run inside to look for your apartment, and when he finally found the door with the number 17 he knocked frantically, but when he didn't receive a response he only became more frustrated.

Where the hell were you supposed to be?

He felt a vibration in his right pocket and almost dropped the device from his hand when he answered the call, without even looking at the identifier.

"Hello?"

“Reid, come back here,” Morgan spoke. “Y/N is with me.”

The agent didn't have to say it twice for Spencer to go down the stairs with the same speed he went up them, almost tripping on the way, and when he came out he looked for you in every direction. The snow and the tide of law enforcement personnel blocked the view a bit, but when his eyes finally met yours, you smiled and waved your hand to get his attention. Spencer ran, again, towards you, until he crashed into you in a hug. You were smaller than him and you fit perfectly against his body.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asked in an angry voice, separating himself from you so he could look at you, but without letting go of your waist “I called you at least thirty times and you didn't answer, do you have any idea how worried I was?”

“I, huh… I left my phone at home and I'm just getting back from work, I had no idea what happened. Morgan already told me that there was a homicide.”

“Did you know her?”

“She's my neighbor,” you muttered sadly, looking toward the entrance of the building. “Oh, Crash, this is so horrible. She was… she was very good and kind to everyone. She didn't deserve this."

“I want you to go in there, pack some changes of clothes, and come back here, okay?”

"Why?"

“You will stay with me in the hotel until the case is over,” he ruled, with a tone that gave no room for opposition. “I need to work right now, but while you do what I asked of you.”

“But… I can't just leave my apartment like that, and what about my job?”

“I will talk to your boss and if he refuses, I will charge him with obstruction of justice or I will assign you an escort if necessary, but you are not going anywhere alone.”

You knew perfectly well that, although Spencer was a valuable member of the unit, he didn't have the power to do that, but because of the confidence in his voice you doubted for a second if he would be able to ask someone higher up in the bureau's hierarchy for that favor. You had rarely heard him speak like that, with a mixture of anger and concern, and he had never ordered you to do anything in your life. But he was doing it now, he was giving you specific instructions that wouldn't take no for an answer.

“Reid, we need you here” you heard Derek say from the other side.

"What's going on? Why do I have to leave here?”

“I'll explain everything to you later, okay? For now you go and get your things to call a taxi” he said, a little less agitated than he had spoken at first. Then he, in an unexpected act, gently kissed your forehead “Wrap yourself up, it's freezing out here.”

Although you had more questions, you knew that he was working and that you couldn't interrupt him just because, so you went to your apartment and grabbed a small suitcase to start packing clothes. Your phone was, as you expected, on the kitchen counter and you checked that he wasn't exaggerating with the number of calls he made to you.

When you left there was already a taxi waiting for you, so he just gave you the address of the hotel where the team was staying so you could get there. It was a picturesque place with lots of cheerful Christmas decorations, with a friendly guy as the receptionist. He already seemed to be aware of the agreement and after you checked in, he guided you to the room, where your friend would also be staying.

You didn't understand why it was necessary to keep you there and you hoped that he would call you at some point to clarify the situation, but he didn't. Since you had brought your laptop with you, you took the opportunity to continue working and it wasn't until a couple of hours later, you didn't even know how many, that someone knocked on the door. You didn't open it until you asked who it was and recognized your friend's voice, seeing him standing with his briefcase slung over his shoulder and a tired smile.

“Hello,” you sighed in relief, greeting him with a hug and then pulling him inside. You let him put down his belongings and sit on the bed, while you stood in front of him. “Do you want to explain to me what is happening and why I am here?”

“There is a murderer on the loose”

“That seems obvious.”

“There is a murderer on the loose who killed your neighbor, with characteristics surprisingly similar to yours, both physical and personal” he added and it took you a moment of silence to understand where the matter was going “I just didn't want you to be near there because he could come back"

“Do you think I'm in danger?”

“I don't know, but you're the kind of woman the unsub likes. I wasn't going to risk you”

You nodded your head softly, from your position of crossed arms.

“And what does your boss think about this?”

“He didn't know,” he confessed to you and you opened your eyes widely. “But I told him on the way here and he said to just try to stay out of trouble or Strauss would call him out on it. It's just that I... panicked, okay? When the police found Olivia's body they had not identified it and… I was afraid that it was you”

Suddenly all the calls and his face contorting into a grimace of relief when he saw you made sense to you, because at this point you hadn't even realized how much you and Liv shared. But Spencer had done it, that was his job after all.

“But I'm fine,” you said reassuringly, as you knelt in the space between his legs and met his gaze. “I’m safe, okay?”

“Did you see anything suspicious in the last few days? Anything that can help?”

“I don't think so, I spend all day at work” you lamented “I'm sorry.”

“Don't worry,” he reassured you, giving you a tired smile.

You knew your friend and you knew beforehand what stress did to his body, like those horrible migraines he had started to get or the dark circles under his eyes, and now his body language was screaming at you that something was still bothering him.

“You should sleep,” you suggested, reaching out with one of your hands to place it on his cheek. Spencer didn't complain, instead he closed his eyes and turned his head slightly so he could rub his skin against your outstretched palm.

It took you by surprise when, just a second later, he leaned down to grab your waist and help you get up from the floor. You were about to ask what he was doing when he maneuvered himself again until you were sitting on his lap, your legs dangling next to his and his arm wrapped tightly around your lower back.

“So we're cozy now, huh?” you scoffed, trying to mask with a smile the blush that had already spread across your face at the position the man had placed you in.

Spencer was a great lover of physical contact, contrary to what many might think, although this depended a lot on the person he was with. It had taken you months of effort to get a handshake and only as the years went by did, he begin to enjoy hugs with you. But after so much time you had gotten used to it and that's why the man became all clingy with you, after all it wasn't very common for you to see each other, which didn't bother you at all.

However, him holding you like that felt completely different than usual. You had only felt those butterflies in your stomach when, on his birthday, you had been so drunk and tired that you ended up sharing a bed. You had to admit that you liked him more than you should, waking up sheltered by his body, between a tangle of limbs and feeling the rise and fall of his calm breathing; and when the thought of having more nights like this crossed your mind you suppressed it immediately, feeling tremendously guilty about it.

But this wasn’t a product of alcohol or fatigue, but rather Spencer had done this of his own free will. His hair curled at the tips and you took the opportunity to gently brush some pieces off his forehead, while he watched you in complete silence.

“I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to you.”

His confession was barely a whisper that tickled your cheek, said with such sincerity that he took you by surprise. You couldn't measure the fear that had brewed in your best friend's chest that morning and that's why you couldn't understand his need to have you physically close, as he wanted to make sure you were there with him and not brutally murdered on a bed in the morgue.

A sigh of tenderness left you and you immediately pulled him close to you to hug him, feeling your hip fitting into the curve of his stomach and his face close to your neck, like he always did.

“Is that why you are like this? Baby, you don't have to worry about me. I already told you I'm fine."

“I know,” he murmured. “But I can't help it.”

“Well, you'll have to try it.”

“How do you want me to try something like that?” he exclaimed, separating from you so he could look into your eyes, and keeping the minimum distance between you two “I can't. I will always worry about you, you are my…” the words were cut off, because he didn't think there was a word that encapsulated well enough what you meant to him, but also because he was momentarily distracted by your lips; why was he getting distracted by them?

“Best friend in the whole world and sole owner of your heart?”

“Something like that,” he responded, laughing for the first time that night, and as he did so his face only moved closer to yours. He was strangely nervous about your presence and didn't know why, so he didn't help much when you leaned against his body so he could hold you better. Spencer just hoped your ear couldn't pick up the increase in his heartbeat.

“We should be able to stay like this forever,” you muttered absently, and although you didn't mean to be serious the words hit the man worse than they should.

For a moment he contemplated the possibility of actually staying with you forever and then he realized it wasn't an idea he disliked. From an early age every time Spencer thought about his future you were in it, but he hadn't thought about the role he wanted you to play. You had been friends for so long that he didn't believe there was anything more to your relationship, however, he was very wrong.

Was holding you like that awakening something in him that he didn't think was possible? Or was it the fear of losing you that made him realize that he would rather die than spend a life without you? No book or statistical study gave him an answer to what he was feeling and, to be honest, that terrified him.

He knew that you had tried to have a relationship with several men throughout your life, but none of them had managed to progress beyond a few months, due to one reason or another. However, Spencer wondered how long it would take for you to finally find love and if he could stand to see someone become your priority. It's not that he was jealous or possessive, just that he had been used to being someone important in your life for too long to accept the change from one moment to the next. He would always be happy if you were happy, but it made him sick to think that you would end up marrying someone completely unworthy of your affection and admiration; someone who didn't deserve the best woman of all. And as if it were an epiphany, Spencer realized that he wanted to be that man.

He needed it. 

“We have to sleep,” he murmured, gently patting your back, because he was afraid that if you stayed like this any longer his mind would travel to some other inappropriate ideas. “Sleep on the bed, I'll sleep on the floor.”

“The bed is big enough”

“It doesn't matter, you use it,” he murmured. You had already stood up and were playing absentmindedly with the long sleeve of your blouse, without stopping to look at him.

"But…"

“I don't want to have this discussion today, okay?” the man had already taken some pillows and was spreading a sheet next to the bed. You, resigned, climbed up to the mattress and remained to kneel on it, watching your friend arrange his place.

“How many days will you stay here?”

"We don’t know yet. With some luck it will only be until tomorrow."

“You should visit your mom,” you murmured. Among so many emotions, Spencer had barely had time to think about Diana, at least until now that you had mentioned her, and he felt a pang of guilt. “It's almost Christmas, it would be a nice gift.”

“I think you're right,” he smiled. Things were ready and although he enjoyed talking to you now he felt extremely tired, so he just wanted to go to sleep. “Rest, okay? We’ll talk tomorrow"

“Good night,” you replied, smiling tenderly at him. An unexpected urge to lean in and steal a kiss grew in Spencer, which he tried to shake off of himself.

Without saying anything else he walked to turn off the light and then came back to lie down on the blanket, trying to sleep. When he was about to get it, he felt your arm fall over the side of the bed and your hand groping for any part of his body you could hold. In the end it was his hand that held yours and he couldn't see your blushing cheeks when he left a kiss on the back of it, nor his mischievous smile.

He knew when you had fallen asleep by the decrease in the strength of your grip, but although he tried to imitate you he couldn't do it. His mind continued to be tormented by the impulses that had invaded him that night, trying to find what reason was behind it, but also wondering how bad it would be to carry them out.

A little defeated, he got up from the floor, but not before carefully placing the hand that was holding you on your chest, and he went to see the landscape through the bedroom window. Snowflakes were falling and the lights of the casinos illuminated the view, reminding him that Las Vegas never slept, adding to these the colorful Christmas trees installed everywhere. In his family Christmas wasn’t celebrated conventionally, as it was just him and his mother having dinner ordered from a restaurant. There were gifts, they were almost always books or objects related to science, but he didn't make sense of the idea of warmth and love that revolved around the holiday. Until one time your family invited him to celebrate, he was finally able to understand that Christmas magic that everyone was talking about and from then on it was his reference for the celebration.

After staring at the window for a while he focused on the vision of you lying on the mattress, sleeping in that strange position that you always used to, and he asked himself how many years it was that he had been in love with you and how it was that he had never noticed it.

He let out a sigh that showed resignation, but also tremendous fear, and finally retraced his steps to pick up the blanket and pillows from the floor. He climbed onto the bed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise, and he lay down next to you, trying not to make any movements that would disturb your calm. The last thing he saw before falling into morpheus’s arms was your peaceful face, and even when he slept his dreams were filled with your smile.

The unsub was successfully caught, just as he had predicted, the next day and that was when he could breathe easy again. You were no longer in danger, outside of the usual danger that a woman from the United States faces, so you could return to your normal life without any problems.

Once you were back at your apartment Spencer said goodbye, promising that he would see you again soon, and heeded your advice about visiting Diana. He asked Aaron if he could stay in Vegas, after all the Christmas holidays were right around the corner and he made the excuse that he could come back if a new case came up. When the boss granted his request he wasted no time and headed to Bennington Sanitarium while the rest of the team headed to Virginia on the jet.

When he arrived good news about his mother greeted him, all referring to the improvement she had with the new medication, and when the doctors' report was finished they took him to the room where she was. Diana was reading to another patient and Reid smiled lovingly at the sight, a smile that was reciprocated when his mother noticed his presence.

“My child, I didn’t expect your visit,” she murmured, while she received the man in her arms.

“There was a case here and I decided to stay with you for a few days, if that's okay with you.”

“Of course it's okay with me, do you think I wouldn't want to see you?” she smiled, patting his face and hearing him laugh.

Both of them moved to her bedroom where they shared stories that she hadn’t read in the letters or that deserved to be deepened now that they were together. Her mother talked to her about how she had been feeling, some workshops she had taught and new people who had joined and she had befriended. He was very happy to see Diana so happy and lively, contrary to other visits where the circumstances had been more unfortunate.

The talk was interrupted by a nurse bringing dinner to Diana and a portion of contraband for Spencer, who was extremely grateful. In the middle of the silence of dinner his mind returned to you and when he looked at his mother, he knew that if anyone could give him good advice it was her.

“Mom, can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course,” she replied, pushing her food aside so Spencer could sit on the bed with her “What is it?”

“Well, huh… I guess you remember my friend Y/N, right? My God, of course you remember her” he answered himself, knowing that he was always talking about you in his letters “The fact is that I… I have felt weird with her since my birthday.”

“Weird how?”

“I don't know, like… different,” he murmured, not knowing if that would be the right word for the nature of his feelings.

“You don't want to be her friend anymore?

“Quite the opposite, actually,” he murmured nervously. He considered it prudent to explain the situation that had arisen from the case and about your stay with him during these days, so that his mother could understand the fear that he had suffered, before continuing talking “And last night when I got to my room and she was there I felt… I don't know, I don't even know how to say it. I only felt enormous relief to see her well and I wanted her to always be well."

“Well, you grew up together. It's normal that you worry about her, you guys are almost like family”

“But I can't see her like that,” he interrupted her. He hated her comparison, because he knew what brotherly love was and it was definitely not how he felt about you “I think I'm in love with her. No, I know I'm in love with her. And I… I'm scared” 

Diana's attentive eyes studied her son and Spencer didn’t know how to interpret her silence, until he felt his mother's hand placed on her knee and saw a smile appear on her face. 

“Oh, my boy… Why are you afraid to love?”

“I am not afraid to love. I'm afraid of not being loved”

That was. Spencer wasn't afraid of having those feelings, but rather he was afraid that they wouldn't be reciprocated. If he confessed things to you, he risked having the greatest romance in his life or being cruelly rejected by the best friend he had ever had.

Diana cupped her son's face with both hands and gave him a compassionate smile.

“You are, for more years than you can think,” she exclaimed, with complete confidence, and the man frowned in confusion.

"How do you know?"

“A mother notices those things, son,” Diana laughed. “Even one like me.”

Would his mother be telling the truth? He wasn't the best at reading social cues and that was clear, so he didn't know the difference between friendly behavior and one that held another interest when it came to you, but he doubted for a second if Diana was the best person to interpret those signs. He didn't even entertain the possibility that you had feelings for him, I mean, you were so pretty and funny and cool and he… well, he was just him.

“Are you going to tell her?” she added, noticing that he had remained silent.

"I should?"

"Sure! If not now, when will you do it?”

"But I…"

“But nothing,” she interrupted him. “I want you to go find her and tell her.”

"Now?!" Spencer screamed, feeling his mother get up and push him to the exit. “But mom…”

“When will you be in Las Vegas again?” she pointed out “I'm not going to leave here, you can come back tomorrow.”

"But it's too late"

“So what, Spencer? “Do you think I don’t want to see you married before meeting the creator?” Diana insisted and the man opened his eyes widely in a mixture of surprise and amusement. “The sooner the better. Go tell her, come on. And it would be better if you come back tomorrow that she will accompany you.”

Spencer watched her from the hallway for a few seconds and at the woman's security he felt a certain emotion, letting fear be replaced by pure motivation for the first time. He nodded and took a couple of determined steps toward the exit, but then he stopped and turned to wrap his mother in a tight hug.

"Thanks, Mom. I love you”

“I love you more,” she smiled. “Now go.”

Spencer left there completely determined and took the first taxi he saw to take you to your apartment, with his heart beating like crazy all over his chest and his mind busy searching for the words with which he would profess his feelings for you.

Inside your apartment you let out a squeal when you heard the microwave announcing that your reheated food was ready and you rushed there to return as soon as possible to see David Tennant's hottie in a trench coat. You had to admit knowing Doctor Who, at first, had been against your will, but now it was an acquired taste that you quite enjoyed and accompanied you on your sleepless nights. After a few seconds you returned to the living room with your burrito in your hand and just when you were about to play the Christmas special when someone knocked on your door, startling you a little.

“Mrs. Jensen, is that you? I already told you that I haven't seen your cat around here” you half shouted, without opening the door, but there was no response “Hello?”

“It's me,” said a fairly familiar voice. You thought you were wrong so you opened the door just a little and through the chain lock you could see that, indeed, it was your friend.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, opening the door fully. “I thought you were going back to DC.”

“I changed my mind” he replied and until then you noticed that he was holding a bouquet of tulips decorated with a white bow, which he extended in your direction for you to take. That only added to your confusion.

“Wow, I… Thank you?”

“Can I come in?” He asked timidly and as soon as you scooted to the side he walked into the apartment, not looking at you.

"Everything's fine?"

"No. I mean, yeah…” he stammered, looking you up and down. You were wearing thermal pajamas with a Christmas print and you were without shoes, with a messy bun holding your hair. “Did you like them?”

"What?"

“The flowers,” he pointed out.

"Oh yeah. They are beautiful” you smiled, looking at them carefully. There was a good number of red tulips, some open and others were just a small bud. “What are they for?”

“I didn't want to arrive empty-handed,” he lied. “I got them at a flower shop near here, a very sweet old woman sold them to me.”

“Well, thank you, then,” you smiled and he responded in kind, but then he didn’t speak again. You were just observing him, not figuring out what was causing his strange behavior. “Do you want to sit down?”

The flowers ended up in a vase on the counter in the kitchen and when you returned he was already sitting on the couch, legs together and hands on his knees.

"And how are you?"

“Well, I was about to eat something while watching the Doctor Who Christmas special,” you told him. You expected him to start ranting about fun facts or the story or the actors or anything, but he just smiled at you understandingly and stayed silent. “Is your mom okay?”

“Yes, she is. I was having dinner with her a while ago, but... I thought I'd come here because I want to tell you something important."

Oh, you thought, there's the real reason for his nocturnal visit. 

"Yeah? What is it about?" you asked, slightly worried about whatever he had to say.

Everything he had thought about in the car seemed to have been erased from his memory and now Spencer didn't even know where to start. He had only confessed these kinds of feelings to two people in his life and neither of those times had turned out well, so he didn't know what to expect.

“Okay, I'm going to tell you, but you have to promise me that you will take it in the best way, okay?” he asked and you nodded. "And this won't change anything between us if you... if you don't agree with what I'm going to tell you."

“Hey, you're scaring me,” you joked nervously, but when you didn't hear him laugh your fear became genuine. “Is something wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”

“It's not a bad thing. Well, not unless you want it to be.”

“Well, tell me then,” you encouraged him kindly, with a smile that provided him with the courage he needed.

You were so pretty and he just wanted to kiss you to death.

“We've known each other for practically our entire lives, right?” he began “I still remember the first time I talked to you. And I don't speak figuratively, but I really remember it, it's one of the things from my childhood that my brain didn't throw away. I had been watching you from the window because you went out to your yard to spread a blanket to play with dolls and cars and all kinds of things. Sometimes you jumped rope and other times you kicked the ball and all I could think about was how you could have so much fun being alone. I mean, I was just reading and studying things with my microscope and you know, nerdy things” he murmured, letting out a short laugh “Until one day you knocked on my window and asked me if I wanted to play with you.”

“My mom told me to do it,” you confessed, “Well, I suggested it, but she encouraged me to do it. It always made me sad to see you there and I thought you were just too shy to come over and play.”

“But no one had ever done that. Include me in some activity, I mean. Everyone made fun of me at school or called me weird, but not you, not even when I deserved it. It made me happy that a girl like that wanted to be with me and even though you had too much energy, somehow I could keep up with you. When we grew up I thought you would just get bored of me, but that wasn't the case and even when I was promoted in grade you stayed in contact with me. You were there when mom got worse and I had to send her to that sanatorium and yet your family treated me like I was your own family. You have always been there for me and you have made me feel less alone in the world, and I don't think I have ever thanked you for that.”

“Oh, Crash,” you smiled, a couple of tears gathering on your eyelids. “You don't need to do that. I have done everything because that is what friends are for.”

“But I don't want to be friends,” he said immediately and your expression changed to a worried one at that moment. The silence between you made you imagine the worst, but it was only because he was gathering the courage to continue “To me you are something else.”

Your face contorted into another grimace, but this time one of surprise and confusion.

"What do you me…?”

“I'm in love with you,” he spat. This time all his years of training were of no use as he tried to decipher your expression. “And it's okay if you don't feel the same way about me, I'm not asking that of you. I just want you to know that the day I got here for the case I... I was going crazy at the mere thought of someone hurting you. I didn't realize that you meant everything to me until that moment and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. That night I just wanted to hold you and keep you safe for the rest of our lives and although I don't have much experience, I think that's what love feels like. I have always loved you, only now it is a different love. And I'll understand if you don't feel the same way about me and I just misinterpreted things, but please, if that's the case, just let me stay your friend because I don't think I can handle messing things up. I don't ask you for anything more than that, that whatever you feel, things don't become uncomfortable just because of what I just told you."

There were a few seconds of silence and then he finally dared to look at you. You were stunned, with your gaze lost and your lips parted. Years of friendship passed before the man's eyes, who interpreted your lack of conversation as a rejection of his feelings, and he felt his heart break a little. From the beginning he was aware that this possibility existed, but now that it had materialized, he realized that perhaps he wasn’t ready.

But then your eyes met his and he felt your hand reach out to his, which was already shaking slightly.

“Your hands are cold,” you observed, sliding a little on the couch so you could take both of his limbs. Spencer followed your movements carefully and could see how you brought both hands to your lips to place a kiss on his knuckles.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“I actually have too much to say, I just don't know how,” you confessed.

“You don't have to lie to avoid hurting me. I already told you, it's okay if you don't feel the same."

“Spencer Reid,” you said sternly, thus forcing him to look at you. “Stop saying that.”

“So it's not like that?”

“Of course not, why would you think so?” You mumbled, really waiting for a response that never came. You watched him carefully, trying to memorize all his features, while you reflected on how much he had changed in front of your eyes and how he was still the same scared little boy from the window.

“Because… I don't know, there has never been someone who loves me the way I am.”

“Oh, Spencer,” you murmured condescendingly, “I've loved you since you were an ugly kid with glasses who couldn't stop talking about science, what other proof do you need?”

He definitely wasn't expecting that answer and that's why he started laughing; not like a soft laugh, but a loud, euphoric laugh.

“Why do you call me ugly kid?”

“You were!” You defended yourself, accompanying him in his joy. You had probably ruined the most romantic moment of your life, however, it was worth it to see the man laugh like that. And after all you were still his best friend, it was your job to joke like that “And yet I liked you, you can't imagine how much. Then you grew up and became this perfect prototype of a boy and you were so focused on your studies that I thought you weren't interested in me, at least in that way. But you were my friend and I was happy like that, I always have been. I tried to bury those feelings because I was also afraid of ruining things, but now you come to tell me all this, and I just don't believe it."

"Are you serious?" he asked, trying not to get overwhelmed by the fact that you had just called him perfect and that you were confessing to him that you had been feeling what he was feeling since you two met. When you nodded, another laugh escaped him as he thought that, after all, his mother had been right.

He had to take a moment to digest the situation. You loved him, you really did, and things weren't ruined. He felt foolish thinking about how long you had been keeping this quiet and how he hadn't noticed, but he concluded that if he had found out at another time he probably would have freaked out and things would have ended very differently, a result he would regret for the rest of his life.

Your hands were still joined and Spencer began to rub his thumb against the back of them, feeling the luckiest to see you smile at him that way and knowing the reason for that expression.

“Is that why you brought me the tulips?” you exclaimed in a sweet voice. You should have sensed it before but only now did you realize that detail.

“Yes, I wanted to surprise you,” he replied, quite satisfied with himself. “I thought about them because, in fact, in the language of flowers, tulips symbolize hope, sincere love and prosperity, but depending on their color the meaning can be transformed. Red tulips, in this case, are ideal for a statement and express unconditional love.”

You let out a gentle laugh, feeling nothing but tenderness at his reaction.

“There's my usual boy,” you said with a proud tone, reaching out to leave a loud kiss on his cheek. Something in Spencer stirred when he heard you call him yours and that desire to kiss you returned, this time with more intensity than before.

"And then?" he asked in your direction. With your eyes you asked for a more complete explanation of what precisely he was referring to “Do you accept me? Do you accept my love?”

“Of course I do,” you replied obviously, giving him that confirmation he needed.

“And if I asked you something serious for us right now, what would you tell me?”

You looked at him for a second, looking for a sign of lying on his face, but when you didn't find it, you smiled, your cheeks completely blushing.

“I would tell you that I would have liked to be more prepared. I'm in pajamas and I smell like a burrito, I think I've looked better."

"It doesn’t matter. "I can take you on a date later, in a nice and elegant place, like you deserve," he murmured excitedly, stopping holding one of your hands to place it on your face. "But only if that's what you want."

“I do, handsome,” you smiled, sliding your hand to surround his wrist. “It's the most definitive yes of my entire life.”

You had dreamed of this moment for a long time, but you had never believed it could come true and now that it had, your heart was overflowing with joy. He was smiling from ear to ear and you suddenly realized that his eyes traveled momentarily to your lips. You saw him swallow, undecided about the next move, so you decided to save him a little effort and reached out until your lips collided with his.

You took him by surprise and although at first it felt strange to be doing that with him, almost as if it were wrong, after a couple of seconds the contact relaxed and you knew that you no longer wanted to kiss lips other than his.

With every second he caressed you in a deeper and more needy way, very different from what you had expected, even his hands took you firmly by the waist to keep you as close to him as possible. He tasted like years of mutual longing and mint gum and it had you completely giddy. You separated only when it was vital to take a breath and then you continued kissing, already addicted to a drug you had just discovered.

“You're so pretty,” he sighed against your lips, allowing himself to compliment you now that he knew you reciprocated. “So, so pretty. And so sweet to me” he recited between kisses, each one gentler than the last “You are perfect.”

“Reid, stop it,” you asked him, feeling nervous from hearing him talk to you like that and feeling him kiss you like that.

"Why? That's what I think. I've always thought so” he smiled, separating himself from you just to enjoy the sight of your beauty, and then he gently caressed the side of your head “I love you” he said.

Your cheeks already hurt from smiling so much and yet you managed to give him that vision again, and how could you not? The man of your dreams was telling you that he loved you.

You leaned in again to kiss him, this time more briefly and delicately, and then you looked into his eyes.

“I love you too” you confessed.

And both of you knew that you didn't need anything more than that.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14 @spencerslove

people who might be interested: @stephsycamore @andiebeaword @tothecar @reiderwriter @babymetaldoll @zuckker-blog

[hungermakesmonsters]

Catch Me If You Can

Epilogue

Plot summary : When your friend interviews for a position at Anvil, you have a chance encounter with Billy Russo. He takes you for coffee and, by the time you’re done, Billy decides he’s anything but done with you.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R 

Chapter Rating : R - smut

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smut and extreme cuteness. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : ~2.7k

A/N : I couldn't not write them getting married. This is a cute little send off for Billy and Reader.

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR | CHAPTER FIVE | CHAPTER SIX | CHAPTER SEVEN | CHAPTER EIGHT | CHAPTER NINE | CHAPTER TEN | CHAPTER ELEVEN | CHAPTER TWELVE | CHAPTER THIRTEEN | CHAPTER FOURTEEN | CHAPTER FIFTEEN | CHAPTER SIXTEEN | CHAPTER SEVENTEEN | CHAPTER EIGHTEEN | CHAPTER NINETEEN | CHAPTER TWENTY | CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE | CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO | CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE | CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR | CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Epilogue

TWO MONTHS LATER

You’d talked about a long engagement - it made sense given the fact that you’d only known each other for around eight months when he proposed (and those eight months had been some of the rockiest of your life). You’d both agreed that it was sensible to wait, to get used to living together before taking another big step in your relationship.

You made it six weeks before changing your mind.

Everyone thought you were crazy, Sam begged you to wait just a few more months (to Billy’s annoyance), and the news rendered Karen speechless for at least five minutes before she started to go into overdrive thinking about her bridesmaid duties.

You couldn’t explain why, you just knew. Nothing was going to change the way you felt about Billy and, every day with him just felt perfect, right. So, what was the point in waiting to make it official?

That was how you came to be standing on a beach in Mexico at sunset, a small group of your friends and family watching as you made your way towards the little altar and Billy. His mouth hung open as he watched you walk down the short, sandy aisle towards him and when you reached him, he was at a complete loss for words.

“I think that look means he likes the dress,” Karen joked in your ear.

Your dress was simple but elegant, hugging your figure in all the right places and showing just enough skin to be enticing without being indecent. Karen and your sister-in-law, Liv, and helped with your hair and make up, and you’d never felt better about yourself than you did in that moment. Especially with how Billy was looking at you.

“You look -” he tried and shook his head, “- wow.”

“You look pretty good too,” you joked, reaching for him to smooth the collar of his light grey suit jacket.

“You sure you want to do this?” He almost sounded nervous, like it was finally becoming real to him; you were going to be his wife.

“I’ve never wanted anything more than I want this,” you smiled, your hand cupping his cheek for a moment, before finally turning to face the man officiating over the marriage. Billy took a breath before doing the same. 

You barely listened to the words being spoken, you were too busy watching Billy from the corner of your eye, nervous but happier than you’d ever been. And, when it was finally time for your vows, you turned to Billy, watching your normally calm and confident man fumble with a piece of paper handed to him by Frank.

“I never really had anyone in my life who loved me before you,” he started softly, his eyes fixed on yours. “I never had anyone want me after seeing every side of me, never had anyone who laughed at my stupid jokes until you. My life changed that day I took you for coffee and, since then, there hasn’t been a single day I haven’t thought about you.”

You’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t cry, that you didn’t want to ruin the wedding photos with panda-eyes, but the moment Billy took your hands in his, you felt your eyes starting to well up.

“When I’m with you I get to see the world in new and amazing ways; you give my life colour and meaning. I feel like I’m living and not just existing. And the way you love me -” his voice threatened to break, “- I never expected it, never thought I deserved it. But I promise you, from this day forward, I’ll do everything I can to deserve it, to deserve you. I promise to love you and protect you until my dying day, and I promise to make our lives together as fun and filled with happiness as I can. And I promise to trust you and listen to you, and never doubt you.”

He swallowed, trying to force the lump from his throat. “You’re my everything and I’ll never let you go.”

You blinked, still trying to hold back the tears as he gave your hands a gentle squeeze, and you were prompted to start your own vows. Unlike Billy, you’d memorised yours though, for a couple of seconds your mind threatened to go blank.

“Billy, you have the biggest heart and so much love to give. I know you sometimes think that it’s too much and that you want too much, but I promise you that’s not true. It’s never too much, not if it’s me and you,” you heard him awkwardly inhale through his nose, as if he was trying to fight back tears too. “I’m with you, no matter what life throws at us, I promise to stay by your side, and I will always protect and love you.”

You smiled at him and he smiled back with the most perfect and genuine smile you’d ever seen grace his lips. “I promise you a life full of adventure and bad jokes. And I vow to do everything I can to make you smile like that every single day because you do deserve it, Billy. Most importantly, I promise I’ll never leave you; I’m yours and you’re mine.”

“Always,” he muttered softly, gripping your hands a little tighter.

The ceremony continued and soon enough he was sliding the ring onto your finger, and at the words you may kiss the bride, Billy moved faster than you’d ever seen anyone move, pulling you close and kissing you like his life depended on it. And you lost yourself to it and him, letting him kiss you until your lungs started to burn and you heard Karen clearing her throat to remind you that you had an audience.

The look on Billy’s face when you parted was enough to have you laughing, your hand pressing against his chest, pushing him back playfully, but lingering over his racing heart.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me now,” he grinned at you.

“No backsies,” you agreed, struggling to tear your eyes off of him, even though your guests were on their feet, waiting to congratulate you.

Frank clapped a hand on Billy’s shoulder, pulling him back a little.

“Congratulations, brother,” he said in that usual gruff way.

“Your turn next, Frankie,” Billy laughed, glancing at Karen who threatened to murder him under her breath. 

You spent the next half hour or so going around the guests. Sam and Liv congratulated you both, and Billy promised them that he’d always take good care of you. All of Billy’s friends took the opportunity to wish you good luck and tell you how much of a pain in the ass Billy was, making both of you laugh. And, when it was finally done, you all headed to the bar for food and drinks. 

And, when the music started playing, you and Billy got to have your first dance. He’d asked to choose the song and had kept it secret, and when you heard the opening bars of Ho Hey by The Lumineers, you found yourself smiling up at him, holding him tight in your arms. And, by the time it reached the chorus and you heard Billy softly singing the line you’re my sweetheart, the tears you’d been trying to hold back started to spill.

He held you tight and pressed his lips to your forehead.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he told you, over and over again, like he couldn’t get enough of the words.

And you knew that you’d never get sick of hearing them.

At some point, since arriving in Mexico, your niece and nephew had taken a real shine to Billy, and spent at least an hour chasing him around, tickling and wrestling with him. And, to your surprise, Billy went along with it, seeming to genuinely enjoy it. You’d never spoken about kids but, for a few moments you found yourself thinking that Billy would make a wonderful father one day. Maybe.

Eventually it started to get late and, one by one, your friends started to disappear until there was only you, Billy, Frank and Karen left standing. You sat and drank until well past midnight, until Billy’s hand started to pull on yours, and you knew exactly what that meant, so you got up and started to say goodnight.

“If you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to go consummate our marriage,” Billy grinned, and you gave him a slap on the chest as your cheeks started to heat. “If we’re not done by breakfast, send pancakes. I have a feeling we’ll be at it all -”

“Billy!” You hit him again, mortified as Karen and Frank both tried not to laugh.

“What? It’s not like they don’t know what we’re gonna spend all night doing,” he laughed.

You had to pull on his arm to get him away from them before he said anything else, both of you stumbling and giggling like drunken teenagers all the way back to the honeymoon suite.

While you’d been at the wedding, the hotel staff had been into the room to put out flowers and a bottle of champagne, and had sprinkled rose petals along the floor leading to the bed - not that you got the chance to appreciate it before Billy started kissing you. Your hands ran up his chest, over his shirt, his jacket having long since been abandoned, fingers starting to tug at buttons.

“I love you, Mrs Russo,” he murmured against your lips before capturing them in another searing kiss. 

You felt his fingers tugging at the back of your dress, pulling it down with a desperation that was just so Billy. You’d once found yourself thinking that, one day, he’d settled down, that he wouldn’t want you with such needy desperation, but now you knew just how wrong you’d been. Billy would always want you, and you would always want him.

He pulled back from the kiss when your dress fell, wanting to take in the sight of you. You’d picked the white lingerie set knowing exactly how he’d respond. And Billy didn’t disappoint.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he licked his lips, taking it all in.

“Yeah, Billy, that’s exactly what we’re gonna do,” you joked as you reached for his pants, stripping him down to his underwear.

“Oh, are we?” 

Before you could answer, he’d lifted you off your feet, spinning you around before playfully throwing you onto the bed and climbing on beside you, kissing you despite your laughter. Your fingers tangled in his hair and you melted into the kiss, losing yourself in the perfect moment. His hands explored your body, fingertips running over your bare skin like he couldn’t get enough of you.

“There’s so much I want to do to you, I don’t even know where to start,” Billy admitted, seeming almost lost and at the mercy of his own desires.

“I know exactly where I want to start,” you answered, gently pushing Billy onto his back and straddling him.

He looked up at you as you started to slowly grind yourself against him. It came as no surprise that he was already hard for you, and he felt so good pressed between your thighs. You were content to tease him like that for a minute or so, before you removed your bra. Billy’s hands slipped up your body, from your waist to your breasts. It wasn’t long before he was sitting up, his lips and tongue on your nipples, enjoying all the little sounds that slipped from your lips.

Eventually, you lightly pushed him down again, smiling a devious smile at him as you turned yourself around over him, practically straddling his face.

“I like where this is going,” you didn’t have to see his face to know that he was grinning as his hand started to trail up the backs of your thighs, his lips soon following after. It was almost enough to distract you from what you wanted to do. 

Your hands slipped his boxers down his thighs, freeing his hard cock, and Billy let out an eager moan as you took him in his hand and started to stroke him. Then you felt your panties rip.

“Billy!” You laughed.

“I want them for my collection,” he told you with a laugh of his own.

You were about to respond when you felt him part your folds and run his tongue through your arousal. The ruined panties were immediately forgotten as you lowered yourself and ran your tongue over the leaking tip of his cock. You felt him groan against you, causing you to shiver. Your lips wrapped around him and you slowly began to take him into your mouth, earning even more sounds from him. 

His tongue set to work against you as you sucked him, lips slipping up and down his cock in a way that betrayed just how much you were enjoying yourself. You trembled as his tongue alternated between teasing your clit and pressing at your slit, his name a gagged sound, moaned even though your mouth was full of him. It wasn’t long before you were grinding back against his face. 

You came suddenly, legs trembling as Billy’s greedy tongue continued to devour you while your lips kept moving, groaning around him until -

“Wait,” you heard him gasp, his hands pulling at your hips. You stopped and strained your neck to look back at him. “Not like this,” Billy panted, “I want to come inside you. I want the first time to be inside you.”

You weren’t sure why, but it made you smile how he wanted to make this moment special for both of you. Pulling away from him, before you could even fully turn yourself around, Billy had you pinned beneath him, his cock pitching into your so suddenly that it almost made your eyes roll back.

“I left something out of my wedding vows,” he told you breathlessly, stilling inside you, a ridiculous grin on his lips, “I promise to spend the rest of my life making you come as often as I can.”

“I’m glad you didn’t say that in front of everyone,” you laughed.

You gasped as he pulled up your leg, hitching it on his hip so he could bury every inch of himself inside you. His hand found your cheek and for a few moments he was content to just stare down at you, the smile on his lips enough to make you tremble around him.

“I love you,” he told you, pressing his lips to the tip of your nose, “and I vow to spend every night proving it by fucking your brains out.”

“I promise to let you,” you told him, reaching to slip your fingers back into his hair, pulling his lips to yours as he finally started to move.

It started slow, but it wasn’t long before your hips were lifting to meet his, desperate for so much more, desperate for everything. Every time he kissed you, you tasted a mixture of yourself and the Mai Tai’s you’d both spent the night drinking and it was an intoxicating combination. Your moans got louder and so did his, both gasping little breathless confessions of love, as you both took and gave everything that you needed.

When you finally came, it was his name on your lips, and Billy quickly followed after, remaining inside you long after he was done. His face pressed against your neck while your fingers ran through his sweat-damp hair, pressing little kisses to his temple.

It was strange to think how you’d gotten here; how he might never have noticed you if you’d remained sat in your car that summer's day, how you might never have gotten to this point if it hadn’t been for the faulty bathroom lock in your old apartment, and how you might never have seen him again if Michelle hadn’t sent him that thirst-trap on Halloween. There were so many ways you could have missed out on all of this, and just thinking about it made your heart ache.

You held him tight and pressed another kiss to his forehead, whispering; “I’m so glad we found each other.”

END NOTES : I promised an epilogue and there it is. Honestly, I just wanted to give them a happy send off. I know I already said it last week but thanks for reading, it's been a wild ride and I've really enjoyed writing and sharing this with you all! Maybe in the future there will be some one-shots, but for now I'm content to give them their happily ever after. I do have an idea of what I want to write next (don't worry, it's another Billy fic) and I'm going to post an excerpt sometime next week (and maybe even the first chapter but idk yet), so people can let me know if they want to be tagged in that, or if you already know you'd like me to tag you in future stuff, feel free to let me know in the comments or message me!

Have a great weekend!

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[ayyy-pee]

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 3: 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑮𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝑶𝒏

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter - Series Masterlist

Pairing: Choso x f! Reader

Summary: Things take a turn.

Chapter Warnings: Angst...

WC: 6.6k

Choso Art By:NC9__

**While not all chapters contain adult content, the themes of this story are targeted towards adults, so minors DNI please.

No one warned you just how difficult university would be.

Your first semester of college has been kicking your ass in all honesty. Between your art projects, extracurriculars and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life, you’re completely burnt out. It was quite the adjustment from high school where teachers stayed on you about your school work and assignments. You'd learned very quickly that now, one was responsible for you but you.

At 19, it was a true test of your maturity. And you were failing that test quite miserably.

“I have one last project due and then I’ll finally be able to breathe. This professor has been up my ass all semester. I can’t wait for winter break and to be done with his class.” You set your bags down on your desk before you adjust your cell phone between your cheek and shoulder. “Sorry to rant. How are you all doing?”

A deep voice rumbles on the other end of the line with a laugh that makes your cheeks warm every time you hear it.

“Hey, it’s no problem. I’m just happy to hear from you. At least you’re letting me know what to realistically expect when I start school next year.” You hear shifting on the other side and you know he’s getting comfortable, probably in bed. “Yuji’s good. He’s also getting ready for winter break so he’ll be home most of the time. Eso’s been struggling with algebra, but Kechizu is surprisingly good at it. He’s been helping him study and–”

You listen closely, hanging on every word falling from your friend’s lips as he catches you up on his brother’s lives. It’s been a few months since you’ve spoken to Choso over the phone. While you’d keep in touch after the summer months until you were back on the beach, you’ve both been busy with your new normal. You haven’t seen Choso either, your first year of college being surprisingly more difficult than you’d expected so you opted for summer classes in hopes to maintain your GPA instead of taking your annual trip with your parents.

It was the first time since you were 9 that you hadn’t gone back to the beach. Your parents reluctantly returned without you your first summer in university, only after you had pushed them to enjoy a romantic vacation together for once. You remember the pictures you’d received from your mother the night they got into town. She was quick to spam you with pictures of your little pink haired friend who had grown even taller since the last time you’d seen him. She’d also sent a photo of all four of the brothers sitting at your dinner table, just as they always did on your first night in town since you were all kids.

It was reminiscent of all the summers you’d spent together growing up, except there was a noticeable gap where you’d usually be sitting, right between Choso and Yuji. As your eyes roamed over every detail, every way the boys had grown and changed, you couldn’t help the pang of disappointment you felt from missing out on this. You wanted to see them, hug them, be with them and enjoy your summer together. But you couldn’t. And it hurt more than you wanted to admit.

It hurt that you wouldn’t spend days and nights at the beach. You wouldn’t be taking Yuji all over the town with you and spoiling him rotten like you always have. You wouldn’t be climbing out of your bedroom window to sneak out to parties. You wouldn’t be working the summer at Panda’s, closing shop and sitting at the shoreline to watch the sunsets with Choso.

Choso…

Your eyes were locked on the tall figure in the photo and you found yourself pinching your thumb and index finger together, pressing them to your phone screen before expanding and zooming in on the picture. He was wearing his signature tiny smile that he reserved only for you and your family. Those same pigtails that have sat atop his head since he was 10 years old were still there, but that baby face was long gone. He was all chiseled jawline and sharp cheekbones now, even more handsome than when you saw him last summer, if possible, and your heart fluttered at the thought. 

You stared at those dark eyes that had peered into yours that cool summer night last year as he leaned closer, those soft lips that pressed against your mouth as you exchanged your first kisses with each other. Those lips…they consumed your thoughts. Those lips that uttered those three words that still kept you up at night as they echoed through your mind:

“Just one more.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, to the tips of your ears and you could hear the blood rushing through your body as the memories played clearly through your mind.

The slight tilt of Choso’s head as he deepened the kiss just barely. The way you gasped when his tongue gently ran along the seam of your lip. How he sighed, low and deep when he heard the little sounds you were making and all because of him.

Neither you nor Choso have spoken about your first kiss since it happened. He’d walked you home from the beach that night, hugged you tight one last time and then you spent the remainder of the night clutching at your chest, desperately willing your heart to calm down.

“You still there?” Choso’s voice pulls you from your trip down memory lane and you clear your throat to buy yourself time to gather your thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just…I’m sad. I’m glad everyone’s doing well, but I almost feel like I missed a part of that because I didn’t go back to the beach for the summer.” You fall back onto your bed with a groan. “I miss you.”

The words fall from your lips easily, though your eyes widen when you realize what you’ve said. While you had never been one to sugarcoat your words with Choso, you couldn’t help but feel as though those simple words held more weight since the kiss.

Choso doesn’t seem to be having the same thoughts, because he quickly replies with an, “I miss you, too.”

And just like that, the conversation picks right back up.

It’s easy with Choso. It’s always easy. You sometimes forget just how easy it is.

- - - - - - - -

That breather you thought you’d be getting for winter break? Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Could it be because your first year of college hadn’t gone according to plan which resulted in you ending the year with a lower than desired grade point average? Who could say? That wasn’t important anyway. The important thing was that you’d opted to take Winter classes as well. Because your life wasn’t already hell Monday through Friday during the spring and fall semesters. Not to mention the summer classes you’d taken earlier in the year that had kept you from being able to tag along on your annual beach trip.

College was turning out to be more of a drag than anything. Luckily, you had made plenty of friends here that made the fact you were missing out on these things a lot more bearable.

It was during the Winter semester that you’d met Iori Utahime, a beautiful young woman with a curious scar across her face that somehow only added to her stunning looks. The two of you had quickly hit it off, both wanting to take your studies seriously and needing someone to hold the other accountable for reaching their goal. Utahime wanted to pursue a career in music and while your majors differed, you were still artists just the same. 

Your similarities didn’t end there either. You shared core classes and unfortunately also shared struggling GPAs, which only brought you closer to each other. So when you found yourselves paired up for a project for one of your Winter courses, you soon found yourselves together more often than not.

And she’d introduced you to more friends as time went on.

There was Satoru. Satoru was goofy. That was the best way to describe him. He never took anything seriously, because everything was easy for him. Seriously. He was a genius who never needed to study because he just knew he’d ace his exams. Because of this, he was all about enjoying the college experience.

You could catch Satoru at every party, the center of attention everywhere he went. He was Mr. Popular. There was no one on campus who did not know who Satoru Gojo was. Almost every student on campus either wanted him or wanted to be him. And although you didn't share the same desires as them, you could see the appeal. 

Satoru was tall. Way too tall. And had the strangest hair color you’d ever seen– stark white and so messy. He claimed it was natural, though you had your doubts. In a way, his hair reminded you oddly of Choso, if only because you could only think about how it was the total opposite of your friends. And his eyes…they also reminded you of Choso. Because they were as blue as the ocean you’d sat in front of many times with him. As blue as the waters that had brought you to Choso in the first place. 

But that was where the similarities ended. Satoru was carefree, going with the flow whenever he could. He never planned for anything, he just let things happen. And he bugged Utahime in a way you couldn’t understand. It’s not really like he had to do much in the first place to get under her skin. All he needed to do was breathe within the same vicinity as Utahime and she was going ballistic. And Satoru seemed to love that.

There was Suguru, Satoru’s best friend. Or more? You could never quite tell with those two. He also reminded you of Choso in a way. Not physically, but general demeanor. Suguru was quieter, more observant than Satoru. He was thoughtful and kind, not abrasive at all; soft spoken in a way that made you feel as though he truly cared for you. And you liked that about him.

When out, you’d often find yourself next to Suguru. His presence was warm and comforting, almost familiar. You felt safe and protected with him and you knew that if Suguru was with you, you could just count on him to look out for you. You’d grown close fairly quickly and had established a friendship outside of your immediate friend group. You spent a lot of time together, but there was never any connection between you two aside from friendship.

And then there was the last of your group – Shoko. Clearly there was something going on between her and Utahime. But if you asked either of them, they'd quickly deny it. None of you were dumb, even with your low GPAs. The stolen glances, the touches they thought you all didn’t notice, the way one always ended up leaving exactly three minutes before the other decided to call it a night.

You found it very amusing, the way they thought none of you knew what was going on.

Their situation made you think more about Choso and how he –

Wait.

Why were you thinking about Choso so much? Why did everything suddenly remind you of him? You couldn’t think about any of your new friends without comparing them to Choso. Even after all this time.

After your last summer vacation, Choso had spent a good amount of time on your mind. But it’s been almost two years now. A second summer vacation was coming up and you were once again abandoning plans to go to the beach with your family and opting to take more summer courses to boost your GPA.

And it wasn’t as though you’d spoken to Choso much, either. Between your studies and his own life happenings, there wasn’t much time to chat. You carve out time when you can and appreciate the usual nightcap you both share every so often. But you're busy with your studies and Choso…well…

When your second year of college began, that was also when Choso had broken the sad news to you that college would be put on hold for him indefinitely.

“It’s my dad,” he’d told you. “Fucker just up and left and we haven’t heard from him since. Not that I should be surprised. I guess I'm only shocked it took him so long.”

You could hear the words come through gritted teeth, how he’d tried to hide the venom that dripped from each syllable. He was beyond pissed. You knew Choso better than you knew any other friend. There was no better way to get on his bad side than to mess with his beloved siblings. 

But you knew more than anything that Choso was disappointed, crestfallen even.

For Choso, getting out of that small beach town and getting an education was his path to a better life for himself and for his brothers. His father taking that from him felt like the ultimate betrayal. What could you even say to lift his spirits at that point?

“I'm so sorry, Cho. Fuck, I'm sorry.” 

It didn't feel like enough.

You checked in with him when you could. And he checked in with you when he could, but he was busy working. He’d accepted a full time position as a manager at Panda’s and had even told you a spot would be there for when you returned the next summer.

But it looked like someone else would have to fill the position this year.

You missed your vacations back to your second home. You missed the warmth of the sand beneath your feet and the smell of the salty ocean air as you all spent your days at the beach. You missed scooping ice cream at Panda’s and doodling the horizon in your sketchbook from your spot behind the counter when work was slow. You missed sneaking out to bonfires and having Choso toss you his sweater the moment you landed in his arms in nothing but the shorts and bikini tops he so hated.

You missed Choso.

That last night at the beach revealed to you for the first time that you may have feelings for your best friend that are more than just friendship. Freshly 18 year old you with almost no prior dating history hardly knew what those feelings meant. But almost 20 year old you, well it's been loud and clear for some time that this has slowly become more than some childish crush. 

You like Choso. 

The whispered call of your name pulls you from your spiraling thoughts and you look up to find Satoru’s bright eyes staring questioningly at you from across the table. You’d all met up in the library to study for your exam coming up at the end of the week. Of course he was checking in because you’d zoned out in the middle of your cram session to daydream about your long distance crush.

Except, that wasn’t why Satoru was checking in at all.

It’s only when Satoru waves his hand next to him that you see another tall figure standing beside the table. Your eyes roam up his form until they land on his face. And it surprises you when you feel your heart kickstart and begin racing.

Because you thought only Choso could get that reaction from you. 

“This is Kaito,” Satoru introduces him and Kaito smiles, eyes locked on yours and you think you can hear your heart pounding in your chest.

Kaito is tall, slender, but not in the way Satoru is. If anything, you’d say he has the same body type as Suguru. He’s lean. You can tell from the way his clothes accentuate his form that he’s fit.  And he’s got the most beautiful smile, teeth so brilliantly white that you’re nervous to see how brightly they shine in the sun. Gorgeous emerald green eyes sit beneath long black lashes and wow, he is really fucking good looking.

He politely introduces himself, running his hand through a messy black wolfcut as he takes the seat right beside you after Suguru heads to his next class. 

You all resume studying shortly after Satoru’s friend’s arrival. Kaito seems to fit right in, quickly becoming friendly with the rest of the group and you. But you soon notice that Kaito has taken quite a liking to you.

Again, 20 year old you is not as clueless as you used to be and the attention he focuses on you is giving you an insane amount of butterflies.

You catch his little glimpses at you from the corner of your eye, the way he’s quick to lean over and help you resolve an equation you were stuck on, the way he never breaks eye contact with you when you’re speaking with him. Like every word that leaves your mouth is the most important thing he’s ever heard.

“So yeah, that’s why hot cheetos are like the best chip there are.” You finish your rant, beaming because you finally got to tell someone your true feelings about this.

“Absolutely…fascinating…” Utahime comments sarcastically. She’d stopped listening to your rambling ages ago, nose buried in her textbook.

Shoko and Satoru had left to get refreshments so unfortunately for them, they'd missed the entire thing.

But Kaito, you’ve got his full attention. “No, really. It’s truly fascinating. I’d love to hear more.”

His grin has your tummy squeezing, that sweet tickle returning and you find yourself smiling right back despite your little epiphany about your feelings regarding your childhood friend just moments before Kaito showed up.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.”

A loud slurping can be heard from across the table, effectively popping the little bubble that you and Kaito had suddenly found yourselves in. On the other side of the table sits Satoru, back from his trip to the cafe, guzzling a sweet juice while he watches you and Kaito talk over the rim of his glasses. Next to him, Utahime’s face is twisted into a look of pure hatred and disgust. Satoru ignores it.

“Y’all should go out,” Satoru suggests casually, like he’s talking about something as unimportant as the weather. “Talk about animal crackers or whatever the hell.”

Shoko snorts as she discreetly slides a snack over to Utahime while no one is looking. Except everyone sees it anyway because these two are so fucking obvious.

“Yeah, go out,” Shoko also chimes in. “Think you two would make a great couple.”

Your face ignites with heat, the sudden idea making you want to kick Satoru and Shoko under the table.

But Kaito smirks, eyes holding your gaze like they have been this entire time and he says, “I’d like that. Can I?”

You glance at Utahime who stares at you in surprise. 

“Um…can you what?” You question, trying to buy yourself time to think.

“Can I take you out? Like, on a date.” His response is quick. It’s so easy for him. He just spits it out and says what he wants. And you’re sitting here still freaking out just over Satoru’s suggestion.

“I…”

“If I bring hot cheetos with me, would that make it more tempting?” He’s so charming, and cute, and sweet and–

Ugh, what reason do you have to say no to him?

The sudden vision of pigtails flashes through your mind. And suddenly, the excitement you were feeling seems to fall away. And Kaito seems to sense it, because his grin falters a little, becoming just a small smile on his lips and he simply nods and gives you a “sure” when you ask him, “Can I get back to you?”

- - - - - - - -

“I met someone today,” you speak quietly into the phone, lying in bed after leaving your study date with your friends. You’re nervous. Probably because you’re testing the waters here. Probably because your walk back to your dorm after Kaito had asked you out was eye opening. 

Can you really open yourself to date someone else seriously when your thoughts are plagued by another man? Can you open yourself to the possibility of being with someone else when the person you want to be with is hundreds of miles away, in some little beach town?

Because that's what you've come to realize. You want to be with Choso. 

You just need to know if he feels the same way you do. You have an idea of how Choso feels about you based on the last time you’d seen each other. But that doesn’t make you feel any less like digging a hole in the ground and burying yourself in embarrassment thinking about bringing any of this up. 

“Oh yeah? Another new friend?” Choso asks distantly. He’s currently at Panda’s closing shop, so he’s got you on speaker while he completes his nightly tasks. You were happy (maybe too happy) when he'd answered your call tonight. 

“Sort of a friend, sure…He’s nice…”

You’re hoping he’ll take the hint quickly here.

But when Choso just gives you an absentminded “that’s cool”, you know you’ve only got half of his attention. And you want all of it.

“Yeah. His name is Kaito. Really nice guy.” And it’s true. You think Kaito is nice, but you think Choso is nicer. That's not to say you're not into Kaito either. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t interested in him. But you’d also be lying if you said you weren’t interested in Choso as well. Maybe more than you are Kaito. Because for you, you’re pretty sure it will always be Choso. Even though you've never had anyone else, you know you don't need to. It's Choso for you.

That is why your thoughts have been consumed with him. This revelation has been so freeing.

You just need to know if he feels the same. 

“Glad you’re meeting new people.”

He’s still distracted, the sounds of him pushing the chairs around the store’s lobby echoing through the phone. You didn’t want to have to show your hand so quickly, but you’re tired from a long day of studying and tired from years of beating around the bush. It’s been over a decade of your feelings slowly building for Choso and now your heart is ready to burst. You have no choice but to push this conversation along a little faster.

“Yeah, his name is Kaito. He asked me out on a date actually.”

And finally, you get an actual reaction from Choso. Not a grunt, not a hum in reply or some offhand comment. Instead, you hear him shuffling around, then the sound of tapping on his phone, likely taking you off of the speaker. His voice comes through, crisp and clear now.

“Sorry,” he apologizes through quick breaths. “What was that?”

“I said Kaito asked me out on a date…this weekend.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep,” you reply cheerily, hopefully driving the knife a little deeper. Immature, sure, but at this point you’d do anything to get Choso a little closer to saying whether or not he has any feelings for you, if he wants you in the same way you want him. “Probably dinner at his place. Maybe a movie. Not sure yet.”

Choso hums quietly. “And you like this guy…that you just met…today…Kaito…” He says his name like he’s testing it on his tongue.

“He’s really nice.”

“As you’ve said.”

You’re about taken aback by the sudden bite in Choso’s tone, but you ignore his snarkiness. “I don't know how I feel about him yet.”

“Clearly you like him enough to be telling me about him.”

More bite behind his words. Still, you push forward. “I mean, is that bad?” You adjust the phone, moving it to your other ear as you get comfortable beneath your blankets. “You’re my friend, right?”

“Sure, but we don’t talk about stuff like this.”

And he had a point. Even during your summers entertaining Mahito, Choso never wanted to hear about any conversations you had with him. And it’s not like you had that many interactions with him anyway since Choso seemed to always be there whenever the silver haired boy was near you. And you had friends back home to talk about your school girl crushes that never resulted in anything with. 

Aside from your first encounter with Mahito, Choso had also never discussed whether or not you were ever interested in anyone romantically and you had never thought to ask him either. Granted, you only saw each other over the summers and during the year, school kept you both so busy, you couldn’t worry about dating. Your parents were never against it and you'd gone to a movie or two with people who had asked you out, but it was never serious. You didn't care enough to commit to anyone, too focused on trying to get into a good school.

In the summers, the last thing on your mind was asking Choso if he had feelings for anyone else. Most of the time he was with you, anyway. And when he wasn't, he was with his brothers. 

You'd never given thought to Choso…desiring anyone.

Suddenly, the thought of Choso with someone else makes your stomach churn, has your head spinning. Choso in someone else’s arms, hugging someone else, kissing someone else’s lips.

Oh, it has your blood boiling in a way you’ve never experienced before and you try not to sound too petulant when you finally mutter, “Yeah, but I want to talk to you about it now.”

“But why?” He sounds thoroughly confused. You try not to sigh into the receiver. 

“Choso…we’ve literally kissed before, but talking about crushes is where you draw the line?”

It’s the first time either of you have ever mentioned the kiss, now a memory that continues to plague your thoughts and your dreams. 

“Even weirder reason to talk to me about this,” you hear him mumble on the other end.

“How? We’re adults! We can talk about things like that. Besides…” you fiddle with your blanket, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth nervously. “It’s really not weird at all…unless the kiss meant something…more to you?”

You’re met with silence. A long stretch of silence that has you fidgeting anxiously. You almost want to laugh, say “I’m just kidding!” and hang up. But then Choso surprises you. He speaks so quietly, you almost don’t hear it over the thundering of your own heart.

“Did it mean something to you?”

Of course it did. What a stupid question. That silly little first kiss and those lips of Choso’s have been eating away at your brain for almost two years. Saying it meant something to you felt like the understatement of the century. You want to scream out loud that that kiss meant everything to you and you’re sorry it took you so long to stop being an idiot and realize that yes, the kiss was more than that. It opened the door for you to realize exactly how you felt about Choso. 

But even so, you still answer with a very quiet “yes”.

And because it’s Choso, who has never lied to you a day in his life, he responds without hesitation. “Me too.”

Finally! The confirmation you were waiting for! The kiss meant something to Choso, too. You weren’t crazy!

“I’ve been thinking about it since it happened. A lot,” Choso confesses.

“Me too. Probably way too much.”

Choso chuckles, which makes you laugh in turn. It’s the answer you wanted to hear from him, but now that that’s out there and your heart is calming down just a bit, it gives your brain enough time to catch up. And now, you’re a little confused.

“Wait. Why’d you tell me I should go out with Kaito?” You laugh again; half from nerves, half from feeling so silly that you used the guy as bait instead of just outright asking Choso how he felt.

The silence has suddenly returned and any semblance of humor seconds ago has now vanished. Now, you feel nervous again. Like your gut is telling you to end this call immediately. This is the calm before the storm and that knife you were twisting into Choso’s back to try and urge an honest response from him soon finds its way into yours when Choso says, “Because you should.”

The knife twists.

“You like him, don’t you? Go on a date with him.”

“Ha ha.” It’s all you can think to say, because it’s keeping the pain at bay for just a second longer. Only a second longer.

“I’m being serious.”

Another twist. And the sting begins to settle in.

“Choso…”

He says your name back to you. “Do you like him?”

“I like you.” It’s the first time you’ve openly admitted it to him. A few seconds pass by with no response, so you keep talking, if only to fill the silence. “Obviously you feel the same way or that kiss wouldn’t be on your mind two years later, right?”

Choso sighs softly. How can he be so calm and collected when you’re sitting here just now realizing that you’re shaking, nearly vibrating out of your skin.

“I like you, too,” he finally admits. “Have for a long time. Couldn’t tell you when it started, but it’s been for as long as I can remember. So yeah, I feel the same.”

“Okay…” You should feel calmer now, confident in the fact that your feelings for each other are out in the open. But that sharp sting of rejection is slowly starting to build, the knife in your back ready to bury itself deeper. “But?”

“Hmm?”

“I know you. There’s a but coming…isn’t there?”

Another bout of silence and you’re starting to lose your mind having to sit through it. This is not how you expected this conversation to go. And you blame yourself for the way it feels like your heart is going to beat straight through your ribcage and fall flat to the floor.

“But I can’t do anything about these…feelings.” He spits the last word out like it’s bitter. “There’s no future where we could ever be together.”

The knife sinks in.

“Why not?”

“Because–”

“And don’t give me some bullshit reason, either.” You cut him off. Because you don’t want excuses. You want honesty, like Choso has always given you.

“What’s a bullshit reason to you?” His tone is snippy again.

What is a bullshit reason? You don’t know. All you know is that you have feelings for this man who once pulled you from certain death over a decade ago. And he has feelings for you, too! He just told you so! You want to be with him, but he doesn’t seem to want to be with you even if he hasn’t said so yet.

Ironically, all this makes you feel like you’re drowning all over again, struggling to pull your head above the water but going nowhere. It's Choso holding you under instead of pulling you out this time.

“...I don’t know,” you finally answer.

“I do,” Choso responds tersely. “I can give you a reason. Hell, I can give you two, three, maybe even four reasons why we can’t be together.”

“Cho–”

“But I don’t need all of those reasons. I only need one – I’m no good for you.”

You roll your eyes. “Choso, you’ve been my best friend practically my whole life. I cannot think of a single person better for me than you.”

He sighs your name, calling for your attention, but you keep going. “And you know me better than anyone else. I know you better than anyone else–”

Choso says your name again, a little harsher this time. You keep on.

“Besides, you said yourself how that kiss stays on your mind. It’s always on my mind too and we can–”

“Stop!” Choso’s harsh voice cuts through your droning. This time, you can’t ignore the snippiness. Never, in all the time that you’ve known Choso, has he raised his voice at you. At least, not in anger or annoyance. Maybe when you were kids, because kids yell. Kids are loud and bossy and Choso was both of those things as a kid. He was always yelling. But he had never yelled at you the way he just had.

You’re so shocked, your mind so suddenly frazzled, that you can’t bring yourself to respond.

“Why are you insisting on this?” Choso sighs, trying to calm himself, but his voice is still coming out a lot rougher than it ever has in your direction. And it’s hurting you in ways you hadn’t known possible, your little heart beginning to crack within your chest.

“I...I just thought –”

“Thought what, exactly?” Choso asks, a dry chuckle following. “Thought that we’d confess that we have feelings for each other and then we-we’d talk about our futures, make plans to be together forever and ever and then sail off into the sunset?”

“I mean–”

“No.”

That’s all he says.

“No?” You’ll need more than that.

“No. There will be no talking about futures together, making plans, sailing off into the sunset…none of it.”

Those little cracks in your heart start to spread, slowly chipping away. That sharp knife you were twisting into Choso’s back is now lodged deep into your own and it’s fucking killing you slowly.

“I don’t–” Your voice is quivering now and you have to take a deep inhale to steady yourself. “I don’t understand. If I have feelings for you, and you have feelings for me…you said the kiss meant more to you!”

“And I meant that.”

“Then why?! Why are you doing this? Is this because of Kaito?”

“Yes!”

“ I–I barely know him! I only brought him up being childish. I was hoping you would realize you had feelings for me. That’s it! I want to be with you!”

“But you should be with someone like him.” Choso’s voice is quiet now, the harshness of it finally gone. “It wouldn't have mattered if it was Kaito or Utahime or whats the other guy? Suguru? I can’t give you what he– what anyone who isn’t me can.”

Now you’re lost. “What?”

“I can’t be what you need me to be. I can’t be the boyfriend you need, the support you’d need if I were to become your boyfriend…”

It’s embarrassing how quickly you feel the tears brimming along your waterline. How your heart shatters into pieces as he lists off the reasons he isn’t good enough for you.

“Look at my fucked up life. No mother, a deadbeat piece of shit for a father, three brothers that I’m solely responsible for and have been for practically my entire life…” He says your name, like a plea, begging for you to listen to him. Like you should take his word for it and simply accept it.

But you won’t accept it.

“I know all of that, Choso. I know you and what you’ve been through – what you’re going through – better than anyone else. And I still want you.”

Now you say his name like a plea, begging for him to hear you and your words. You don’t care about his struggles, about how he’s had to keep his family together his entire life, forced to grow up too quickly and become the glue that holds everything together. You were there for all of that up until recently. And even through it all, you always found your way back to Choso. That won’t change now.

The quiet drags on, just dead air hanging between you two and when he finally speaks, he surprises you. “And I want you, too.” He tells you, lifting your spirits ever so slightly.

Then just as quickly, he breaks you. Again.

“But I’m doing you a favor, so please. Just go date whoever you want, whoever’s good to you.”

“Choso–” Your voice breaks, your lip trembling as you try to fight the sob threatening to crawl up your throat.

“Please.” You hear the way Choso’s voice cracks in a similar manner. Like he has a sob to match your own trying to escape as well. “You…God, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste it on someone like me. You have everything going for you. I have nothing going for me. Just some loser working a deadend job in the same deadend town I’ve always been in and will probably always be in. And I refuse to drag you down with me. I’m looking out for you…Like I’ve always tried to do.”

Your protector.

Even when you don’t want him to be. Even when you wish he wouldn’t be. Even when it hurts you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you,” Choso tells you. “I do. Fuck, believe me when I say that. I would love nothing more than that because I've wanted it for so long…but you deserve so much more than this.”

“You are not a loser, Choso. Just…stop. I think we can–”

“I have to go,” He interrupts. “Need to finish this stuff up and head home. Yuuji has a project due tomorrow that I need to help with.” He’s quiet again, but you can just make out the sound of him sniffling, choking down that same sob before he says, “I’ll talk to you later.”

Choso ends the call abruptly, before you can even say goodbye, and the shakiness of his voice stays with you for the rest of the night. Even as you shower, numb to the excruciating heat of the water. As you brush your teeth and crawl beneath your sheets where you finally allow your heart to fully crumple. Even then, you hear the clear tremble of Choso’s words.

It hurts. This is a pain you don’t have any experience with. You don't know what to do with it. This is a pain you’d hoped you would never have to feel. And you never expected your best friend to be the one to cause it.

But you’re hopeful that you two will be able to patch things up. That you two will be able to go back to normal, even if things are awkward for a bit. Because you don’t want to lose Choso. He’s your very best friend, long distance or not. He means way too much to you for your crush to get in the way. You just hope you haven’t ruined things between you two.

Besides, he did say he would talk to you later. You take solace in that, finally letting sleep take over even as your tears still fall.

If only you’d have known that when you opened your eyes the next morning and opened your phone to send an apology text to Choso, that your text would fail to go through. 

If only you’d known that you would go to check Choso’s social media pages only to see blank screens because he’d apparently blocked you. You'd search through every account he has on every social media platform and find yourself no longer able to see any of his information.

“I refuse to drag you down with me.” Those words play on a loop in your mind.

He really meant it.

[mellifiedprincess]

Ethan Landry x Reader

Vero Amore

The air was a cool welcome against your skin, as you walked back to your apartment after class. The sun had set about an hour ago, bidding the moon a good night as it sets to rest until the morning.

You felt so at peace when nights were like this. The usually busy streets of New York are quiet, everything just felt so calm. You had even forgotten about how embarrassed you felt in front of Ethan earlier that day.

You were gathered around with your friends, listening to Mindy rant on about movie franchises and what to expect with the new ghostface attacks, when you hear Ethan speak.

“Am I gonna die a virgin?” The question falls from Ethan’s lips without a care in the world. Everyone looks at him, all with disgusted looks. You were more than confused though. There was no way Ethan Landry was a virgin.

Sure, he was sorta dorky, but that’s what made him so goddamn charming to you. And you knew he wasn’t really that good at flirting with anyone, but still, he was definitely fuckable.

“You good Y/N/N?” You didn’t realize you were staring with your mouth open in shock, until Mindys question woke you from your daze. Everyone’s eyes move from Ethan to you, and a light blush appears on your face. “Yeah?” It came out as more of a question than an answer, and you look back at Ethan to find a knowingly teasing smirk on his face, which makes you quickly divert your eyes back to the ground.

He’s always known about your small crush on him, and he thought that’s just what it was, a small crush. Which is why you two weren’t together. Yet. But it was much more than that to you. You were basically in love with the clueless boy.

He obviously had those same strong feelings for you too. This is fan fiction after all.

You try focusing back on what Mindy was ranting about just moments ago, but you just couldn’t. The new information you just learned plaguing your thoughts.

“Are we done here? I think Y/N wants to make sure Ethan doesn’t die a virgin.” Tara’s joking words sends another furious red to your cheeks, and Ethan’s face matches yours. “Tara!” You couldn’t believe she said that. You tried to hide your embarrassed expression in your hands, and the fact you can still feel his eyes on you was not helping.

“Um I just remembered that I totally have something to do. So, I’ll see you guys later. Ya know, if i haven’t offed myself from total embarrassment.” You quickly gather your things, trying to make a hasty exit. You could still feel his eyes on you, making you walk just a bit faster. You were relieved that no one followed you to make sure you were okay.

Ethan wanted to though.

A small smile graced yo ur lips as you thought about said boy, wondering what he was doing tonight.

And as if he knew you were thinking about him, you look at your phone as it starts ringing. His contact photo appearing on your screen. It was one Anika took months ago, Ethan looking down at you laughing, while his hands squish your cheeks together. It was adorable to say the least.

“Hey, E! What’s up?”

“Hey, I um-“ There’s a pause, Ethan trying to gather his thoughts. “I- Do you want to come over? Maybe watch a movie with me?” The smile on your face speaks for itself. “I would love to. I’ll grab a pizza on my way over, I just left class, so just give me like 20 minutes.”

“Wait, are you walking alone?” You can hear the concern in his voice, making butterflies form in your tummy. “Yeah, most nights I do. I don’t want to make anyone have to wait up for me, ya know? Especially with ghostface back.”

“That’s exactly why someone should be walking with you, sweetheart. How about I meet you at the pizza place, I assume you’re going to Rosie’s.” If you smile any bigger, your cheeks are gonna start aching. “How did you know that’s where I was going?” He can hear a hint of teasing laced in your voice, making him smile. “I know all of your favorite spots, Y/N.” You almost pass away at the sincerity in his voice.

“Careful there E, I may fall in love with you.”

“I wouldn’t mind that at all. Matter of fact, I even know all of your favorite songs.”

Ugh this boy.

“We’ll now you’ve done it! I’m hopelessly in love with you.” You can feel his smile through the phone.

“Alright, I’m on my way. But you better call me back if you start getting scared.” You lightly giggle at that. “You gonna be my knight in cardboard armour?”

“Don’t you know I would fight Rosie herself, if I needed to, only for you.”

“Rosie is 73 years old Ethan!” “Guess she won’t be making it to 74, if she messes with you.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. “Let me get the recipe to her cannolis first. I happen to know a certain boy that loves them. I would imagine him being pretty devastated if he could never have one again.” Of course you were talking about him.

You didn’t even realize you had made it to the pizza place either, until you see the familiar head of curls walking towards you.

“I gotta go now, there’s a really beautiful girl who just confessed her love for me, waiting for me at her favorite pizza place.”

“Lucky girl.” You hang up after that, your smile only growing bigger as Ethan stands in front of you. He reaches to grab your school bag from you, something he’s always done since he’s known you. It was such a small gesture that had become second nature to him, he didn’t even think anything of it, but it still meant so much to you.

You step into the small restaurant, as Ethan holds the door open for you, and you immediately spot the older woman. “Y/N! How have you been my darling? And who do you have with you today?”

“Hi Rosie. This is my friend Ethan.” A knowing look crossed Rosie’s face and she tries to hide her smile, but fails. “Is this the boy you’ve been telling me about? Loves my cannolis?”

“You’ve been telling Rosie about me?” The blush that rushes to your cheeks could rival your blush from earlier that day. “What? No way! Rosie is actually diagnosed with dementia, so she gets a bit confused sometimes.” Rosie takes the hand towel thrown over her shoulder and lightly smacks you with it. “Now, don’t go fibbing on me.” She still has the same knowing look on her face, as she makes her way back around the counter.

“Y/N here talks about you all the time, dear. She talks more about you than she talks about anything else. Says you’re a good boy, smart too.” You think you may take Ethan up on his offer to fight Rosie.

“Huh, isn’t that nice of her.” Ethan looks down at you with a teasing smile.

“Shut up!” You cross your arms over your chest, wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

“It’s okay! I talk about you to literally anyone that will listen.” “Really?” He reaches to grab your hand, squeezing it gently. “Really. Just ask Chad, he’s the one who gave me the confidence to ask if you wanted to watch a movie with me.”

There’s a pregnant pause. No way are you two confessing to each other in Rosie’s Pizzeria.

“You like me back?” You ask with an unsure tone.

“Oh, I don’t just like you. I’m so in love with you, it’s concerning.”

You giggle, feeling like you’re on cloud 9.

“I’m in love with you too, E. If you didn’t know that already.”

You both stare at each other for a few seconds, just basking in each others words.

“KISS ALREADY! I’m not getting any younger here, kids.” Rosie shouts from her place behind the counter and you both laugh at the woman.

“Yes ma’am.” Ethan replies, before gripping your chin and he leans down, placing the softest and sweetest kiss to your lips.

“Vero amore.” Rosie whispers softly to herself.

[kpopcafeeee]

Call me baby like before

Paring: johnny suh x fem! reader

Genre: smut, Exs to lovers, collage au

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀:frat boy ex Johnny! Smut, kissing, moaning, fingering, public sex(hot tub) IM SORRY, begging, degration, dom johnny,sub reader, hair pulling

Summary: you and Johnny broke up 5 months ago and hasn’t seen each other since the break up until there’s a pool party hosted by his a fraternity you and your best friend haechan go there just to have fun but you went there for and fun until you found another reason to go

A/N: this is my first post and I’m really nervous if I misspelled something please contact me!!!! And also if this goes well I’ll do more stories about nct and other groups and here’s my inspiration kinda😅

ENJOYYY:)

“Haechan what if he’s there?!” You yell to your best friend “then ignore him and have a good time” he says as he drags you to the car while the others are waiting for you two. You, haechan, Yuta, doyoung, taeyong are all going to the pool party together as friends. You hear the horn beep several times until a random person addresses the sound as you and haechan runs to the car “took you assholes long enough” Yuta says “we were about to leave your asses” doyoung says

“ anyways we have to make one stop before we go to the party” while doyoung and Yuta were in the store getting the beer together you and taeyong and haechan were in the car on your phones

You were looking through insta until you say a specific story on insta was a taeil and jaehyun taking a photo until you spotted Johnny in the back kissing a girl

Haechan saw your face frown so he took your phone “don’t worry about him have some fun” haechan said he was trying to make you feel better he pulls you into a hug and you start to smile and feel better

When doyoung and Yuta came back with the beers it was time to go

You guys made it to the party on time and decided to split up when you guys go inside and go have fun and get drunk, you had on a red bikini with a transparent cover up to make you look sexy and ready to have fun you and haechan have fun together and jump in the pool together,You guys have fun and enjoy the party and while you guys we’re having fun you met a cute guy named mark haechan winks at you and starts to blend in with the crowd at the party,

you and mark starts talking and you feel like your being watched by someone and starts to feel awkward so you tell mark that your going to the bathroom and you’ll be right back, while walking to the bathroom you hear footsteps behind you but brushes it off, when you come back you and mark starts talking again until you wanted another drink you told mark and he said he’ll wait until you come back again when you went inside the loud house to get some drinks for you and mark you still felt like you were being watched and so you hurried to go get the drinks you make it to the kitchen where all the drinks were and grabbed to beers out the fridge until you felt someone behind you turned around to see your ex Johnny fucking suh, “missed me baby?”

His gaze making you feel small under him you try to push him away but he’s to strong “no I haven’t now move” you say but he doesn’t budge at all instead he moves closer to you making you feel his breath in your ear “you know you miss me I’ve been looking at you all night and you’re not even interested in poor mark” wide eyes you look at him face redder than a tomato “ I-i don’t know what your talk about” you say stuttering “oh yes you do baby you know your still interested in me” he holds your chin with his finger to make you look him in the eyes “so why are you lying baby?”.

You try to push him away again but he doesn’t move a bit still after a few minutes has passed he takes your hand in his and leads you outside again and going in the hot tub this time and marks sees this and you give him a sorry look and he gives you a it’s ok look and goes inside to go talk to haechan and his other friends “aww looks like he’s gone” when you and Johnny get in the hot tub your sitting on his lap facing from him you can feel his cock getting hard under the water “so you like dressing up as a slut” he says while playing with the hem of your bikini, he slides your bikini bottom over to reach your cunt you where already wet from earlier and while walking to the hot tub, he slips two fingers inside your cunt and starts fingering you, you gasp from the contact trying your best to hold your moan in biting your lip very hard to stop it

He starts kissing your sensitive spot on your neck that he likes he knew how to please you and knew how to get you on your knees quickly so it didn’t take him that long from hitting your sweet spot in your cunt he hits it repeatedly and you let a out a small moan saying his name “j-johnny” “you like that” he said your orgasm was about to come until he stopped feeling emptiness in your cunt you whine until he takes his fully hard cock out and slightly lifts you up and starts pulling you down until he’s fully in you, you moan from this earning a few stares until Johnny pinched you to be quiet and take his cock

He starts off slow until a random group got in with you guys so Johnny pulls out of and you whimper “get up and follow me upstairs” you follow his orders and you guy make up stairs it was a little more quiet than downstairs and outside Johnny pushes you on the bed and takes off his swimming trunks quickly and throw them behind him he takes your bottom of and throws it on the floor, he pushes himself inside you he grunts your name when he was fully inside “y-y/n” he was trying his best not to cum right there and then he’s been inside you multiple times and you were still so tight, he starts at a slow pace then speeds up his pace “j-johnny fuck me!” You cry out you can feel your orgasm approaching, you start clenching around him until “f-fuck y/n” he says he’s almost there too but he wanted you to cum first he starts speeding up his pace more and your orgasm finally comes and you cum over his cock he’s still going until he reaches his high and cums in you

He pulls out of you and goes to his bathroom to clean you up after your clean, he goes to take a shower the party ended 2 hours ago you got a message from haechan “HURRY UP” you texted him that you were with Johnny and was going stay the night after he got out the shower he laid next to you and while you were drifting off to sleep

“ I love you Johnny” you mumbled he chuckled under his breath “I love you too y/n” “promise me we will be together forever and call me baby like before

By: kpopcafeeee

[avenging-fandoms]

Hey!! I love your writingggg.. can’t get enough of soft loverrrr pedrooooo definitely need moreeee

I was wondering if you take requests. So I have this fantasy of like Pedro and the reader living in a shared house/apartment in New York and they’re in a long term relationship. For the last few months Pedro’s been travelling busy with filming and so they haven’t seen each other for a while, e-reader decides to have a self care day that ends with being sprawled on the bed playing with themselves. Little do they know Pedro’s decided to surprise by coming home early, only to have the reader nowhere to be found; as he walks deeper into the house he hears your moans and panics thinking you might be cheating, only to find the reader sprawled on the bed wearing one of his shirts that still smell like him and moaning his name.

That will be all.

Thank you 😊

yeah.. it's nasty as hell. don't read if you're a minor.

adding this request: request: pedro smut🤭 praise kink🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

“it’s ok” “i know baby, i know” “you’re alright baby” “you’re doing so good” “you did so good sweetie” immediate aftercare when you’re worn out😦🤤

-

"Today was so rough, Pedrito," You drape your head over the armrest of the couch and sigh. "I wish you were here to hold me until I felt better."

Pedro could hear the pout through the phone. "God I dream of holding you every night, sweetheart. 2 more months and I'm all yours."

You smile and sit up, leaning your elbows on your knees as you look at your nails. "I think I'm gonna take a bath, I always feel better after those."

"A bath, hm? I hope you'll let me see how relaxed you are." His voice was deeper and you bit your lip, leaning back and playing with the strings on your sweatpants.

"Maybe, I'll think about it. I'm mad at you for being away from me for so long."

"I'm away for so long so I can buy the biggest diamond to put on your finger, princesa. Don't start now." You giggle and sigh, shaking your head. "Enjoy your bath, listen to some Prince to think of me, I'll be shooting but I have my phone. I love you honey."

"I love you, Pedro." You make a kiss noise and hang up the phone, heading to the bathroom with the speaker. You set it on the counter and connect your phone, playing your 'Pedro' playlist and sure enough, Prince came on. You turn on the water and sing into the mirror as you wait for it to be ready.

You added salts and some flowers with bubbles, lighting a candle and sliding into the tub. You submerge in the water and your nerves could finally relax. You close your eyes and listen to the song until it ends before opening your eyes again.

You dry your hand and grab your phone, opening your camera and taking a photo of your lips down, with your body barely covered in bubbles with your wet thigh poking out of the water.

Pedro: I may quit my job just to eat you up.

You bite your lip and inhale sharply with a big smile, setting your phone down and closing your eyes, dreaming of everything you could be doing with Pedro if he walked through the door. How you'd touch him, kiss him, make him scream, you were desperate for his touch.

After almost an hour in the bath, you finally brought yourself to get out. You dry off and wrap yourself in your towel, draining the tub and shutting off the speaker.

You head into the bedroom and take a picture in the mirror of you in your towel with your cleavage popping out.

Pedro: Enough Pedro: I'll fly home to you dressed as Joel Miller Pedro: I won't even change

Yn: Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

You grab one of Pedro's shirts and underwear, falling on the bed in your towel. You hold his shirt in your hands and sit up, sliding it over your head and smiling at how it smelled like him. The thoughts of what you'd do with Pedro if he was home came back and your body shivered.

You bit your lip and opened the side table drawer, turning on the vibrator and pressing it to your clit softly as you went to your 'Hidden' album to listen to a video of you and Pedro.

Your moans mixed with Pedro's from the video as you moved the vibrator around your clit slowly. You closed your eyes and imagined Pedro was the one holding the toy, and your moans grew louder.

Pedro smiled as he closed the door to the apartment, locking it behind him and dropping his backpack. He looked around the whole floor for you, but it was dead quiet.

He grabbed the railing and took two steps before stopping dead in his tracks. He heard your beautiful moans coming from the bedroom, and he got a sick feeling.

You would never cheat on him. But then again, he is away for so long.

Pedro took deep breaths as he walked up the stairs slowly, peeking into the crack of the door and his mouth fills with saliva.

Your legs were spread, your left leg bent with your knee towards the air and your right leg straight. His pants got tight as he watch you pleasure yourself with his shirt over your nose, hearing his moans and holding back a whimper as he hears you moaning his name.

Pedro walked in the room and you gasp, scrambling to shut off the video and he placed his knee in between your legs, grabbing the vibrator and pressing it hard against your clit.

"P-Pedro! Fuck- What are you doing here? Fuck." Your nails dug into his biceps as your back arched, holding your breath as he pushed his fingers into you and fucked you fast with the vibrator in his left hand.

You exhale deeply and gasp, moving your hips up and down slowly as you shake while riding out your orgasm. "Oh.. fuuuck.." Your eyes roll back as you grip his shirt, his fingers still fucking you without the vibrator.

“Oh, I know, let it out sweet girl.” Your moans turned to whimpers and he pulls his fingers away. "What a welcome home."

Pedro shut off the vibrator and threw it to the side, kissing you slowly as he moved his hips against yours. "You didn't quit, did you?" You breathe and he laughs, shaking his head.

"They don't need me for 4 weeks, it was unexpected and I'm so grateful I made it home just in time." You smile and his fingers moved again. “Oh, look at you..” His voice was soft and hoarse, bending down and spreading your pussy before moving his tongue against your clit.

Your fingers grip his hair as he hums, shaking his head before pulling away and kissing you messily.

“Take off your fucking pants, Pedro.” You hiss into his mouth and he smiles, standing up with his hands on his hips and closing his lips and smirking.

You had to do it.

You sit up and grab his waist, pushing up his shirt and kissing his happy trail with your bottom lip hitting his waistline. “Enough, princesa.”

“You missed me, P?” You smile and look up at him as you pull his pants and underwear down, drooling at the sight of his hard cock. “I missed you, Pedro.” He stepped out of his pants and you couldn't wait any longer as you watched his dick bounce with every move.

“I missed you so fucking much, honey. So much.” He breathed and his chest moved rapidly as your mouth moved up and down his dick. His head fell back with his hands in your hair, pushing his fingers through it and taking the hair tie off his wrist and put it in your hair. That's what it's always there for, just in case.

"How much, Pedro?" You smile up at him as you move your hand around his tip and he held your chin, making you stand up. Your hand touches his stomach and gasp softly as he hand wraps around your throat.

He pushes his thumb under your chin and makes you look up, lips kissing your neck slowly and tickling your skin with his facial hair. “Like how the moon misses the sun. My heart sang to you every night, mí amor, couldn’t you hear it?”

His voice was a whimper and you were a puddle. You pulled him down on you and kissed him, wrapping your leg loosely around his waist. “I’ve waited 8 months for you, Pedro. Please.”

“I love when you use manners.” He positions himself and slides in slowly, nearly collapsing on top of you as he missed how wonderful you felt.

“Yes, Pedro, harder!” You beg and his hips snap into yours, pushing your knees against your chest and you grip his wrists.

Your eyes roll back and you hear him chuckle as your eyelids shut. “Yes.. oh my god.. look at you. You take my fuckin’ cock so good. Such a good girl.”

He kisses your calf and you smile, dropping your legs and Pedro holds them up. Your ankles sat on his shoulders with his hands holding your thighs, continually fucking his hips fast into yours.

“Pedro.. fuck… Pedro.. Pey…” you gasp, whimpering his name as you grab his shirt frantically in a fist as the pleasure was overbearing. “Right there, fuck!”

He stopped. “Were you going to tell me you were touching yourself to me?” Pedro was out of breath, fists next to yours as he knocks your legs off him.

Your legs fall to the bed, bending them with your knees against his side. He moved his hips slowly, watching himself as he pulls his dick out so just the tip was in, and snapping into your hips before your whine.

“Yes.. Yes, baby, I was going to send you pictures and videos..” You breathe with your hand pressed against his chest.

A light bulb went off in Pedro’s head. He walks away from you and leaves you on the bed, grabbing the vibrator, a tripod and a dildo and made it back to the foot of the bed.

“What the..?”

“You, my sweet, good girl, are going to show me exactly how you touch yourself without me here.” He set up the camera and you stared at him as you sat up on your elbows. “Miller.”

“What?”

“If you feel uncomfortable, yell or scream or shout ‘Miller’ as in Joel Miller and we’ll take a break.” Pedro nods to you and you nod back.

Pedro hands you the toys, and you grew embarrassed. Stage fright? You looked into his eyes once and that was it.

Pedro started recording and you laid down slowly with your eyes locked on his, moaning as you push the dildo inside of yourself.

“Shit..” You breathe as you pump it in and out of you, Pedro stroking himself as he watched your every move.

“Vibrator.”

“Pedro.. I-I can’t-“

“Now.”

Buzzing filled your ears and you shiver with a moan as you press the toy against your sensitive clit.

“Good girl.. look at you. Spread your legs more.. mmhmm.. just like that..” He started to pant and put his hands on his hips as he caught his breathe.

Your moans hummed in his ears as he watched you fuck yourself. “Please.. Pedro I need you, not the toy.”

“Don’t stop. I didn’t tell you to stop.” His eyes burned holes into your pupils and you gulp. “Keep going. You’re doing so good, so beautiful.”

Pedro sat next to you and moved his finger tips up and down your inner thigh as you continue to fuck yourself, his hand slowly replacing yours on the dildo.

His hand moved quickly, pounding deeply into you and you gasp, screaming his name as you reach your climax.

Pedro ripped the toy away and you gasp while dropping the vibrator, his body in between your legs as he fucked you again. Your fingers gripped his hair tightly and you bite his ear, whimpering his name in his ear.

“Please Pedro, I need to cum so bad, please.” You beg and he smiles, kissing you deeply as he rubs your clit.

You nearly rip a hole in his shirt as you scream his name, orgasming around him. He grunts and curses your name, huffing as he spills his seed into you.

You close your eyes and Pedro lays on his side next to you, his finger tracing your features. “You did so good, mi amor. I’m so proud of you.” He kissed your shoulder and you hum with a smile, turning your head towards him and he kisses your nose.

“I was so lonely without you, Pedro.” You whisper and he pouts, kissing your lips softly as well as your jaw.

“I know, mi hermosa. But I’m here for 4 weeks, and we can spend all those days in this bed.” He whispers and you look at him, kissing him a few times before tapping his chest.

“But first.. a shower and we wash these sheets.” Pedro laughs and you head into the bathroom.

“Welcome home.” Pedro mumbled to himself with a smile as he rolls up the covers.

[timetoletmyimaginationfly]

My Comfort

Nanami Kento x Reader

Photo Credit: Marilou

(Song Inspiration: Blames on me by Alexander Stewart)

“Kento-kun! Welcome home!” you greeted happily. Nanami sighed. It was another long day at work. He loosened his tie and rolled his sleeves halfway. You walked up to him and kissed him softly on the lips. You looked at his condition. His beige jacket was dirty and slightly torn. Cursed spirits blood was splattered on his clothing. His face was dirty and you noticed a small cut on his face.

“Do I look that bad?” he asked curiously with a raised eyebrow. You giggled and shook your head.

“Go shower, I’ll keep dinner warm,” you said. “I’ll pick out your pajamas too.” Nanami smiled. But once you turned around, he frowned. Today was bad. A young sorcerer was killed. All because he couldn’t make it on time to the scene. He wonders if he’s even worth it as a sorcerer.

The burden grew heavier and heavier. As months passed, you noticed how distant he was becoming. It worried you.

“Kento-kun, I made your favorite,” you said. Nanami nodded as he took his shoes off.

“How was work?” he asked when he entered the kitchen.

“It was good,” you answered. “I might get this promotion.” Nanami couldn’t help but smile. You were perfect. You were the perfect girlfriend. You worked full time at a well known company and worked your ass off to be the best. And outside of work, you always made sure the apartment was clean and dinner was out on the table. You were more than he could ever ask for. He felt that you deserve better. And the thought of it hurt.

“Do-Do I do well?” he asked. You were caught off guard with his question. You wondered what he meant by that question. Since you were quiet for a while, Nanami just sighed and walked past you. However, you held on tightly to his wrist.

“Kento-kun,” you called. He could’ve just ignored you, but he could never ignore you. Even when he was distant, he still can’t bear to spend a second without you. His heart was racing when you gave him a smile. “You never talk to me about work. But I bet you always do the best that you can. I know that you always do your best.” He smiled, spirits feeling a bit uplifted.

“Thank you, darling,” he said. He walked closer to you and cupped your face. He stared at you, the face that he loves to look at. You were beautiful in his eyes. He kissed you passionately. You melted and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back. “I love you. I love you so much, darling.”

“I love you too, honey,” you said. The two of you stood there, foreheads resting on each other. “When things go down and when it gets tough, just know that I’m always here cheering you on. Supporting every decision you make.”

“Even…Even if…” The topic of possible death came up every now and then. Both of you hated it. And when it gets brought up, you have a hard time falling asleep at night. Scenarios would constantly play in your mind throughout the night. Nanami would wake up the next morning to see you with tear stains down your cheeks.

“Even if you have to risk your life,” you said as tears formed in your eyes. “I’ll still support your decision even if I don’t like it.” You couldn’t help but cry in his chest. Nanami hugged you tightly. “I missed you. We haven’t spoken like this for a while.” Nanami felt so much guilt. He didn’t mean to do this to you. “I thought—I’m sorry.”

“You wanted to leave me?” he asked.

“It’s-It’s not that but…” Nanami pulled away. He bent down to your height and cupped your face to wipe your tears away. You held his wrists tightly. “God I’m horrible.”

“No,” he said. “You’re perfect. I’m the one that’s horrible. I’m the one who can’t even make it to the scene on time that caused a young sorcerer to die. I’m the one who can’t be strong enough to prevent another young one from massive injuries. I’m the one that’s weak.” You watched tears flow down his eyes. This time, you cupped his face and wiped his tears away. “I thought of the same thing. Because you deserve someone so much better.” You shook your head.

“You’re perfect, Kento,” you said. “You’re not weak. You’re strong. I can never imagine being in your shoes. You come home with your head held up high. You work so hard to become strong. You still come home taking care of me even when I tell you that I’m okay. You deserve more than me.” Nanami pulled you in for a tight hug.

“No, I only need you,” he said softly. “Only you. Tell me that I’m great again.” You smiled.

“You’re not just great, Kento-kun. You are amazing. You are strong. You are brave. You are wonderful.” Your words alone helped Nanami let the tears out that he’s been holding in for months. You couldn’t help but feel the pain that he must be feeling. You hugged him as tight as he held you. You kept him in your arms for as long as he needed it.

“Thank you, darling.”

“Anything for you, Kento-kun.” After a while longer, Nanami pulled away from the hug and gave you soft kisses all over your face.

“You’ll still love me if I stop being a sorcerer again?”

“Silly, I fell in love with you before I knew you were one,” you said with a giggle. The two of you wiped away each other's tears and smiled. “I want you to do the things that make you happy. Things that make you feel complete. Remember, I’m always here to support you. I promise you that.” Nanami nodded.

“Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome. What do you wanna do?”

“Shower with me and then eat dinner with me. Don’t leave my side for the rest of the evening.”

“And the weekend?” Nanami chuckled. He knew you missed him as much as he missed you.

“For the rest of my life,” he said before giving you another heated kiss.

[helioslover]

CHERRY - CL16

PAIRING : singer!charles leclerc x actress!reader SUMMARY : you listen to the song charles has written about you for the first time. you hate how in love with him you are. WORD COUNT : 4.4k TW : angst, mentions of alcohol, breakup, sex SONG : cherry - harry style

You hate planes. You also hate being too shy to ask the stewardess for a night mask so that you could sleep through the flight. You hate knowing who’ll be picking you up at the airport. You also hate the way you're happy to see a familiar face in a country where you don’t know anyone, even if it is this familiar face. But you mostly hate the way you're eager to see Charles.

You have spoken a lot through the last few months, and you think that maybe the heartache you've felt for so much time has finally healed. Charles' has been staying in Monaco -he now splits his time between there and London - for a couple of weeks as he is recording some new songs for the next album. As unbelievable as it sounds, you have meticulously avoided any of Charles' new songs until now. The only one you're familiar with is Sixteen but you know that title tracks aren’t the ones Charles puts his entire soul in. You aren't ready to hear the brown-haired boy that used to drive you crazy sing about another woman. Yes, you've seen the pictures of Charles and Alexandra and yes, you've cried in your pillow until your body felt so dry that there were no tears left to cry.

“What do you mean you’ve never listened to my songs ever since we broke up ?” Charles had looked so shocked when you told him the truth (not the part about crying yourself to sleep, no, you didn’t mention this) that you had laughed. “Not even the ones from Fast Cars ? We were still talking when I released Fast Cars, Y/N !” His voice sounded raspy and you remembered that it was still early and that Charles had never been a morning person.

“Why are you up so early ?” you were clearly trying to avoid the subject.

“You called me, you idiot. I only answered because it was you. But now, I’m considering the option of hanging up. I mean… I’m not trying to brag but where were you for the last four years ? My songs have been everywhere.”

You chuckled. “Oh for fuck’s sake, I know that. You have no idea how annoying it is to avoid your songs at parties, on the radio, on TV, everywhere, you’re fucking everywhere, dude.”

“Don’t dude me. I think we're a bit closer than that, Y/N.” He was smiling at the camera, showing off his dimples. Behind him was a patchwork of photos, posters and movie tickets hanging on a beige wall. You tried to imagine the rest of the room. “Don’t think I’m forgetting what you just admitted. Mon Dieu,” he sighed overdramatically, “how would you react if I said I never watched any of your movies, huh ?”

You rolled your eyes. “I never said that I didn’t know any of your songs, Charles. I know some of them. But, I hate saying this, I kind of did not want to hear you sing about other people. See what I mean ? It’s alright when it’s from a time where you didn’t even know I existed, I mean some of yours are probably part of my favourite songs, but not when it’s- not when I-”.

“When what, Y/N ?” Charles asked, his voice softened as if he understood how hurt you would feel by hearing songs that weren’t about you.

“Nothing, just leave it. And don’t even try to pretend you’ve seen all of the things I act in. I’m pretty sure you haven’t heard about half of them.”

Charles was now smiling again. “I’ve seen all of them, Y/N. And you were good in every single one of them.”

Something broke inside of your heart because Charles' voice sounded like a warm hug. His statement somehow seemed like a proof that you weren’t the only one to find it hard to get rid of what you felt. And somehow, you hated it. “I gotta go. See you.” And you hung up. You were feeling too many things at the same time. You hated it.

You hate delay. Your plane hasn’t taken off yet and you're already bored. Your neighbor looks like he could be somewhere between fifty and eighty-four and it’s too cloudy to see anything through the window. Your book is not as interesting as it looked like and you know you haven’t downloaded enough playlists. You hate it, not knowing what to do.

You checks your phone to see if Charles has seen your previous message, warning him about your flight being late.

‘its ok, ill still pick you up, y/nickname.’

You smile. Even after all this time, you still don’t know if you hate or loves it when Charles uses your nickname. Another text appears on the screen.

‘since you have time, listen to my favourite one.’

There’s a link leading to a Spotify song and you download it, right before the pilot finally announces that the plane is about to take off. You put on your headphones, press play and instantly, as the first notes of the guitar resonate in your ears, cry.

Don't you call him baby [...] Don't you call him what you used to call me

The first time you called Charles baby wasn’t intentional. You recall the exact moment it slipped out of you mouth and the look Charles gave you after. You were about to have dinner with his mom and his brothers in Charles' flat and you hated how stressed you felt about truly meeting his family even though you'd already been introduced.

“Are you sure there’s nothing you have to warn me about, huh ?” you asked Charles for the hundredth time as you put on a blue shirt that made you look older than you were. Dinner was ready, Charles was too : the only one that was still changing her outfit (for the fourth time already) was you.

“Y/N, I told you : you have nothing to worry about. And you met them already, it’s not like they’re complete strangers.” Charles said from the kitchen where he was setting up the table.

You sighed. You couldn’t help it. The last time you'd seen Charles' family, you were just the girl who starred in his debut movie with him, not the girl he fucked every night. “Maybe blue isn’t my colour, don't I look kind of pale ?" you asked as you joined the kitchen.

“Shh, you’re making me crazy. You look perfect, just like you always do.” Charles handed you a glass of wine. He was wearing a red jacket on some beige pants and looked good. Like really good. “Drink this, it’ll help you.”

The wine was good, really good, and Charles' hands massaging your shoulders felt even better. You hated how Charles always seemed to know what you needed.

“Jesus, baby, this feels good.” The word flew out of your lips so naturally you didn’t even notice at first.

“What did you call me ?”

Your cheeks were turning red under Charles' sharp green eyes. You had seen this look before and knew exactly what usually came right after. “I- um, baby ?”

Charles took a deep breath. His body had gotten closer to yours. “And she does it again, Jesus, Y/N.”

You didn’t exactly understand why such a simple word had such an effect on Charles but you liked it. You liked having this power over him when you usually were the one looking like a middle-school girl talking to her crush for the first time. You felt a knot forming in your stomach, getting eager for a contact with Charles' skin. “Well, baby is gonna have to calm down. At least for now.” you answered, smiling wickedly.

Charles lost his smile. “Y/N. Stop it or I swear I’ll-” The doorbell had rung. Pascale, Arthur and Lorenzo were there.

We're not talking lately

You hate the fact that every line in this song seems directly aimed at youYou. He clearly remember Charles telling you this one word for word. It happened a couple of weeks after your breakup, after you'd moved out of Charles' London flat and had taken all of your things, even the ones you'd always left behind during your previous crises. You never really believed that this time was going to be the real one, that all of the years you'd spent around Charles were on the verge of becoming memories and nothing more. You couldn't even remember the reason you had started fighting. All you knew was that words couldn’t be unsaid and that you couldn’t look at Charles without remembering all the things that had been yelled that infamous night. So you had packed your bags in the middle of the night and had left.

Charles hadn’t called. For about a week, all you could do was look at your phone every ten minutes, hoping for a message, a missed call notification (though it would’ve been merely impossible for you to miss that call), something that would prove you that Charles cared about your relationship. You had walked away so that Charles would realise that he couldn't keep on treating you like you were granted and you had ended up losing it all.

Weeks had gone by without a word from the man you now called your ex. And then weeks had turned into months. Tabloids had sparked dating rumours of Charles and some amazingly pretty girls and it looked like the 'Y/N' chapter had quickly been forgotten. You had felt like an idiot until you'd received the long awaited message.

‘hey y/n, i hope you’re doing good. we’re not talking lately but i just needed you to know that i miss you’

Your heart had stopped beating. Or had it started beating faster ? You had felt like your insides were burning and your mind stopped functioning. It’d been so long since Charles had gone out of the picture that you weren’t even waiting for a sign anymore. You'd started moving on, helped by some of your friends who, tired of hearing complaints about the way things should’ve been, had decided that you had to create a Tinder profile. You'd been on dates, you'd met men that were willing to fill you heart with pure joy and some who were just willing to fill you. But you'd taken what you wanted from both categories and you'd stopped aching with the simple sight of Charles' name on a billboard.

But this message, it wasn’t supposed to ever be sent, it was too late now. It disrupted every plan you'd made to deal with the loss of the one you'd thought would be the love of his life. So you did what you believed was the best to do for your heart. You never answered.

I confess I can tell that you are at your best I'm selfish so I'm hating it You hated it but you still knew every single part of Charles by heart. You'd learned over the years how to decipher every single one of his expressions, even the ones Charles thought nobody would notice. You knew what a half-smile meant, what the subtle frown hid and what the quick eyes puckering could be translated as. And this particular knowledge of Charles' feelings also meant that you totally knew that he was lying when he was claiming to be really happy for you. Charles hated it, he wanted to disappear, to go back in time and never let you leave because he’d never been as happy as you'd made him ever since. You knew that, you could read in the discrete clenching of his jaw.

You weren’t supposed to meet, not more than two years after your last interaction. Charles' message had been left unanswered and he’d never sent another. But awards season was always the theatre of a lot of unwanted encounters.

Charles was as beautiful as ever in his white turtleneck and black pants. His eyes sparkled when they met yours and there was nothing you could’ve done to avoid the conversation.

“You look quite good, Y/N.” You shivered, you hated the way your entire body still reacted to the simple sound of Charles' voice. “How’ve you been ?”

“I- erm…” You hated yourself for having to clear your throat, “I’ve been alright, thanks for asking. I didn’t know you’d be here tonight. I thought you were on tour.”

Charles smiled when you admitted knowing his schedule. “Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to come but then they sent the guest list and I don’t know, I guess I figured I’d stop by.” He wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was openly flirting with you.

You hated the way you'd missed out on most of the ceremonies because you did not feel ready to face Charles. You'd been right. The sight of Charles' ringed fingers, his grown hair, the sparkle in his eyes, the smelling of his very own scent that hadn’t changed a bit ; it all made you weak. You just knew by the look on Charles' face that you were sharing the same thought : how could you have let go of what you had ?

"Well I’m glad you’re here.” You weren’t, but you hoped you weren’t as easy to decipher as Charles was so that you could keep the act on long enough to be convincing. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to win every single one of these things. You always do.” This last part was genuine : Charles was one of the most talented people you knew and even though you had no idea what his new album sounded like, you were pretty confident it was good.

“Oh thanks, Y/N. I’d be surprised if your movie didn’t win anything tonight. How ‘bout we go out after that, huh ? I mean, if I get to win something and to see you, this night might become the best I’ve had in a while.” His green eyes were reflecting a malicious light that almost made him look mischievous. You felt a knot forming in your stomach. You knew it was physically impossible to refuse Charles' offer but also knew how bad of a choice it would be. You were stuck weighing pros and cons in your mind, well aware that your silence was getting a bit too long. You hated the way Charles' presence made it almost impossible for you to think straight.

Your phone rang in you pocket, a sort of a way out you clung to. “Hi, baby, where are you ?” On the other end of the line, Daniel, your new boyfriend – was it really a boyfriend if the only thing you shared was an appreciation for each other’s body and a fear of being entirely alone ? – answered but you didn’t listen to anything he was saying. Instead, you focused on Charles' visible frown and the tears that he was fighting back. He mouthed something that looked like “I’ll see you”, though you both knew it wasn’t true and left without ever looking back. It took you a couple of seconds to process what had just happened before you were able to concentrate on what you were being told.

What Charles never let you know – perhaps because he hated how uncontrollable his feelings for you were – was how big of a mess your encounter had turned him into. He then fully understood that he’d lost you, that it was over, your love had supposedly died when he still believed he would be able to bring it back to life. He hated himself for being selfish, for hating it when you looked so well, for being the one unable to get over it. His wound was still bleeding when yours seemed to have already healed, at least from what he’d seen. And it was at that moment, as he was curled up on his bed, wondering if he was a bad person for hating the way you could be happy without him, that Charles started writing Cherry.

[...]

You hate the way your eyes will look reddish and puffy for the rest of the flight as much as you hate the tears that are running down your cheeks. You secretly hope your neighbour won’t notice your unease and replay Cherry. You already know you've missed out on some lyrics and you don’t want to. You want to hear every single one of Charles' words, the ones that seemed to have been written only for you to hear.

And suddenly, you hate the fact that other people have been able to hear this song (even more so that they did it before you). It feels like such an invasion of Charles' intimacy, of what he has shared with you. Everything sounds so obvious – from the lyrics to the title, reminding you of how you'd learnt a French endearment and always used it to call Charles : chéri, chéri, chéri – it’s an open window on your relationship and the way its ending was handled, the effect you had on Charles.

But then, now that you think about it, you also come to the realisation that, except for those of your friends that know and the few people in Charles' life that are aware of the two-year-long relationship you had, no one knows that you and Charles even kept in touch once the promotion of your movie ended. It’s not an absurd logic : you don’t think Charles has ever seen any of the other actors in years. And this, the fact that for the majority of people, what you had never existed, brings more tears to your eyes. Nothing in the song gives off any hint on who it is written to for people who’re not close to Charles. You somewhat feel deceived. As much as you hate the feeling of losing some privacy, you hate the fact that you can’t really brag about this song being about you. It is a beautiful song, you have the right to feel quite proud of inspiring it.

It must be the fourth time Cherry replays when you catch on some line and realize that, intentionally or not, Charles has left a hint as to who’s the song about. It is not really obvious but you know how fans are eager to decipher any small details.

I noticed that there's a piece of you in how I dress

You had hated this interview. Six months had eventually gone by after Charles' last attempt of talking to you when Alex and Lily had shown you the extract. You were in their apartment, sharing a bottle of wine and a pack of cigarettes, having just learnt that Alex had gotten the role in the movie he’d auditioned for.

“I never thought he was hurting as much as you did before I saw this” he had said, lighting another cylinder. His living room was already full of smoke. “but I swear, I might not be the closest to Charles, but I’d never seen him look so sad, Y/N” he had added as he was searching the video.

It was one of Yuki Tsunoda’s restaurant interviews. Charles looked as good as ever and you had hated the way you'd had to repress a smile from appearing on your face. Something looked different but you couldn’t point out what it was. In the restaurant, Yuki asked Charles about his fashion style evolution. You couldn’t figure out why Alex wanted you to watch this.

“I don’t really think I tell myself : oh yeah, this is the kind of style that I’m going to go for. I truly believe that my outfits are a way of expressing the way I feel and also that the people who surround me have a great influence on the way I dress. I mean, you asking that is funny because right this morning I looked at myself in the mirror and I started thinking of the way, you know,” and suddenly, in a matter of moments, Charles' eyes had started shining from tears that threatened rolling down his cheeks. His voice sounded hoarse and full of sobs, “there’s quite literally a piece of the person I love in how I dress. I still have some clothes that I used to steal from our closet and that I forgot to give back. Like this,” Charles pointed at his sweater, “this one’s Y/N's but I love it”.

The name had slipped out of his mouth but neither he, nor Yuki, seemed to have noticed, too focused on his emotions (Charles had to actually wipe a tear) to care. But you had noticed and so had others. So had Alex and Lily.

But this wasn’t what had retained most of your attention. There was no point in lying but you had hated the way you'd loved hearing Charles refer to you as the person he loved.

I just miss your accent and your friends

It happened once. Between their infamous encounter which had led to Charles starting to write Cherry and the day he finished the song, you and Charles had only talked once. 

You had broken up more than two years ago and yet, you couldn’t say that you were over Charles. It would’ve been safer to just say that you'd just learned to live without him. But you'd gotten pretty good at it. It struck you sometimes at night and you would find yourself crying in your pillow. But then, you were able to go on for days and weeks without thinking about Charles. Things still reminded you of what you had shared but it did not make you automatically cry anymore. It was pretty much like learning how to live with a missing limb. You can live without it, sometimes you can even forget that it’s not there, but somehow it always feels like something should be here and isn’t. 

That’s what you tried to explain to Alex as you were heading for the bar in which Carlos and Pierre were waiting for you. All of you had met while filming the movie Carlos directed. Alex, Pierre and you starred in it as well as Charles who also created the soundtrack. You all got awards for it. 

“You guys are so late it should be illegal.” Pierre said as he tried to look annoyed. His face almost immediately broke into a smile. “I’m glad to see you.”

You laughed as you sat down next to him, a pint of beer already waiting on the table. “We all know it’s because of Alex.”

"Shut it, Y/L/N."

“Well, at least, you’re not as late as Charles. He’s the worst.”

Your eyes went wide hearing Charles. Except for Alex, none of the boys knew how hard it was for you to get through this breakup. They all believed you when you swore to be over him. You couldn’t blame them for inviting him, you just had to play pretend. “Oh, erm… I didn’t know he was coming tonight, I-I thought he was still in Monaco.”

It was Pierre who had told you that Charles was now splitting his time between the two cities and you had felt a sort of relief mixed with this silly feeling of regretting the way things had become. 

“Oh no, he’s not. Speaking of the devil !”

You didn’t even have to raise your eyes to feel Charles' gaze planted on you. Yet you did and for a minute, as your eyes crossed, it felt like there was no one else but the two of you in the entire pub. He was still as beautiful as ever, just like you remembered him to be, but something had changed. Charles was no longer the young man you'd known, he’d grown into a real man and was now entering his golden age. It saddened you to realise that you were both evolving without the other one to witness the changes but it quickly faded away as you felt your stomach twisting with desire. 

“God, I missed you guys !” Charles almost cried after breaking eye contact with you, something that seemed to have cost him an effort.

You internally thanked your friends for being so chatty. The night had been going on for a while now without requiring too much effort from you. You mostly drank, comfortably seated in the settee and squeezed between Pierre and Carlos. You also tried to discreetly check Charles out, though you weren’t really sure your glances had gone unnoticed. You couldn’t resist it. It felt so weird to see him, just a couple of metres away from you. 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you’d be here.” God, you hated unisex bathrooms. His green eyes met yours through the mirror. His cheeks were a bit reddish and you couldn’t say if it was because you were here or it simply resulted from the heat of the pub.

“You mean, here as in the toilettes, sorry, in the bathroom or here in the pub ?” You knew he was tipsy from the casualness of his voice. Charles squinted as your gaze took an inquisitive look. “Are you mad at me ? For coming ?”

“I”m not.” A sigh escaped your mouth. The water was still running from the tap. “What are you doing here, Charles ?” 

“I don’t know.” You were now side by side.

“I had forgotten about this you know, the way you squeeze French words in the middle of sentences. It's funny, I guess I just miss your accent and that, being there with our friends.” You could imagine the heat of Charles' skin and the way his lips would feel if he kissed you just right here. You shook you head ; Charles wasn't the only one affected by alcohol but you weren’t just tipsy, you were completely drunk. 

“Oh, really.” He was trying not to sound unsettled, you knew it. “Is that your way of saying that you just miss me ?”

You chuckled and his green eyes sparkled. “You get to choose, Charlie. Is that your way of telling me you’re missing me too ?”

You hated the way you had missed the taste of Charles' lips and how his hands clung to you body when you kissed. The water was still running from the tap. 

[...]

“Did you like it ?” Charles is literally glowing under the Monégasque sun. His skin is a little tanned and you love how weak in the knees it makes you feel. You're in his garden, drinking beers and smoking. The sky is so blue it seems endless. You love the way it feels like summer. 

“What are you talking about ?” Charles' hand strokes you bare arm gently as you're laying on the grass. You're so relaxed you're not even thinking about the hours you spent crying on the plane. Your eyes are still reddish and puffy, though. 

“Cherry. Did you like it ? I mean, you obviously cried but I hope it is because you regret boycotting me during all these years.” 

“I hated it.” You answer, eyes closed. You can feel Charles' body shifting. He’s now looking at you from upon you guess since you feel his breath crashing on your face. “As much as I hate you.” You add, smiling. 

This time, it’s Charles who kisses you. You love how there’s nothing to hate.

[roleplayhonestybox]

Just had the weirdest experience ever of my RPing career.

Dude I’ve been writing with for a long time, probably the better part of half-a-year, just sent me a zip file. Inside of it, it contained one document and then a folder. The document said READMEFIRST, so I did. He also reiterated when he sent it to me to read the doc first.

Let me preface that this guy has been nothing but a gentleman for the entire half year I’ve known him. We’ve vibed together since day one. We’ve never shared photos of one another. He’s literally been my best friend and best RP partner for the span of time. Our writing styles work so well together and I just. I really thought he was awesome. And now, I’m just sort of broken and at a loss as to what I should do.

The document I opened started with a single-typed page. He essentially went into detail saying this was a half-year anniversary gift. I couldn’t remember for the life of me the day that we met, but he remembered, which I thought was shocking. He said that he’d been collecting these for a long time as sort of like a memento/gift of our time together, which I thought was so super cute. I literally thought this man was rizzing me.

He went on about how he loves how open I am, how we mesh, great partner, blah blah blah. All the usual stuff. Says how excited he is for the next six months, and hopes I enjoy.

I open the next folder, and it contains another document and 134 images.

I have my settings to where my image icons are set to small so I just see the file and the name, so I didn’t see the images immediately, but they were numbered 1-134. So, I go to open the document. My brain was on overdrive by this point. I thought he somehow was commissioning people for artwork of our characters (he told me he’s loaded prior and loves to support artists), and I was just so excited.

Open the document. And it’s just. Pages and pages and pages of detailed descriptions of him LITERALLY. GETTING OFF.

It would be, like: “[date it happened] 1. [roleplay excerpt of mine]” and then it would go into gratuitous detail of how his orgasm felt, what he was thinking of, and imagining me as my OC in that instance, and then rate it out of 10.

I only skimmed, but I caught sight of him sometimes going back to previous passages that he denoted as his “favourites”. So he’d go into detail about how different or better it felt.

I thanked the good Lord above that I had my image files small because that meant that I had over 100 unsolicited dick pics (including…him finishing) sent to me immediately. I didn’t open a single file to check and see if it’s not just an elaborate prank because this happened probably an hour ago and I don’t know what to do.

He messaged me about 20 minutes after I said I was unzipping the file and basically said: “Well, what do you think?”

I honestly don’t know what to think. I haven’t said anything back to him, and he hasn’t messaged me, again. I don’t know what to do, either. I really love what we have and our characters. If he would have told me he liked me, I may have felt flattered and maybe beige flags but still, like…he has never once said or done anything out of line. He’s been so patient and great and just. I am literally sitting here in shock.

I even cried a little bit because I just feel?? Extremely violated?? And it’s just so out there and strange and I don’t know what to do. I just needed somewhere to vent. I feel like I have to block him, but now I’m wondering it he’s capable of anything else? I use a VPN and haven’t given him any information that could dox me. And, also thank God that I use a separate account to RP with.

Should I just ghost him? Should I confront him? Should I just block? Should I change my RP account completely? Has this happened to anyone else before? 😭 If anyone has any advice, I will surely take it…

BLOCK HIM. REPORT HIM.

I wouldn’t confront. I would remove yourself entirely from that situation and prioritise your safety.

Please anybody add advice. The mods here are more than happy to try and help the anon if they want to contact us in DMs.

[canaidliafail]

stay grounded pt.7

streamer abby x reader 🌿

its been a while hasn’t it :D anyways part 7 is here now ✨✨✨ has some sad stuff has some spice but hey the girls are seeing each other again <3333 TW: I have never been to renfaire as that sadly is not a thing in my country and haven’t been in the US either so :)))))) shit won’t be the most accurate unless I magically go on a trip next month or smt.

not proof read, probably will never be either

“Treat me like I’m nobody’s daughter

Just put your hands around my throat, Ain’t been to heaven but I’m close”

•••

Your phone was blowing up with notifications and as a result you were shutting down, drowning in pure panic. Why did Abby post that ? No caption no nothing….People already speculated things about you two but for them to now know she had visited you….

It wasn’t that you minded people knowing. Not exactly ? There was a part of you that feared public relationships considering the fact that your previous ones didn’t pan out so well. They all seemed respectful and understanding but the minute things went south they would fill their pages with bitter remarks and shady posts. You wanted to believe Abby was different than that. That she would be better than that or at least would try to be for you.

As much as you loved to delude yourself that you had control over you throughs you knew the gesture had gotten into your head and there a small voice repeating the words like a mantra

“Mine, mine mine”

You didn’t like who you were when you were in love and you hated yourself even more when you dated someone but fuck, you were so ready to go through all that again for Abby. You did love her and the tension when you saw her, the chemistry you had and the heated nights made you dizzy with euphoria. It felt like you were molded to heal and fit each other’s missing parts.

You tapped the reshape button and posted the photo on your story and decided to be a bit bolder than before with the small caption beneath

“I won” and a pink heart.

If she would have an issue with it you would delete it and maybe your career would reach new peaks with a stylized apology video in your lavish living room. If she appreciated the gesture though…that would kickstart a fruitful new bond between you two. Hopefully.

Most likely

_________

“Man it feels…empty over here. Alice is wayyyy too happy to see me though”

“Yeah no shit you’ve been gone for half a month” You said laughing all the way through as you watched Alice bounce all over the place and more from Abby’s left side to her right and bark occasionally. Abby had to shove her face away while she tried to eat a miserable bowl of soup that she cooked with whatever leftovers hadn’t rotted in her fridge.

“Half a month huh ... .Felt like its been barely a day” She said with a melancholic sigh and you just fawned at the sight of her staring at her dog lovingly and giving her a few good rubs on her chin.

“How are you doing over there ? Back to sewing?” She asked and turned to look at you through the camera. Its been around a day since you last talked yet it felt like it had been so much longer and it was a pleasant feeling to see the feeling reciprocated. Abby didn’t hesitate to jump on FaceTime the second she came home reassuring for the first 30 minutes that “its ok you can keep me company while I unpack” and “no its cool you can watch me while I cook my dinner” and so on.

There was a significant change in your attitude and in the way she talked to you. She was comfortable.

It made sense. You had eaten each other out 24 hours ago so to be shy on call would be weird and uncalled for.

“I haven’t done much in that regard but…I did deep clean the house and all. My neighbor brought me cake as well. Was pretty cute”

Abby groaned

“You have a neighbor like that and she never once made her gracious appearance to give cake when I was there ?! Fucking unfair”

“I think your loud moans scared her off Abs”

You said and bit your tongue a second after in shame. Oh you were growing to comfortable

“Fuck off. I know that you like that I’m loud”

She quipped with a shit eating grin and you blushed and buried your face in your palms

“Shut up. I- I don’t know why I even said that”

“Oh come on babe. We are way past that stage” she said calmly while eating another spoonful of her colored liquid.

“You would have a point but I…Give me some time” You mumbled and heard her laugh. You grabbed a wet wipe and started wiping your coffee table from the cigarette ashes. Your heart was beating in your chest content by the fact that she didn’t brush off the fact that you two were entangled like that and more than that, she seemed to want to remind you as well that things were happening between you two

“Ah also about the story sorry I didn’t ask before posting it. I’m not gonna say anything about our relationship yet. Not unless you want me to of corse”

You blinked and pursed your lips. Your brows shot up and your eyes turned to the camera

“Relationship?”

You asked and felt dumb the second the words left your mouth. She looked at you and seemed equally nervous. It didn’t exactly show but you picked up on some signs from the short time that you got to experience her up close. Her tongue rolling in her mouth and that half smile trying to hide a laughter of awkwardness and embarrassment. Her hand at the nape of her neck as if she was straightening the flow of her braid

“Yeah. I mean now that we are a thing I thought I’d ask you how you wanted to handle it regarding our…publicity because we do have quite the platform”

Her words were rushed.. You were quick to realize that this was her way of saying she wanted the two of you to make whatever you had official. And you smiled discreetly and turned to face her

“Let’s take it slow with our audience, yeah? Think we should take our time figuring each other out before we let anyone else do that for us” You reassured and she nodded her shoulders easing. She took in a deep breath visibly relaxed now and took another spoonful of her shitty soup.

_________

Abby got you another gift. You didn’t know when did she even make the purchase but you were woken up a week later from the delivery man with a large box of items from your wishlist with an additional two things that she probably added in there herself. You were used to being the one making such gestures. Being the dominant and the one providing and over endorsing the other person in every way so to receive such…princess treatment was new and made you sit on the floor with the ugliest grin

“You are so fucking creepy now”

June spat with an equally big smile being quick to put two and two together.

“I can’t believe this is my life now. Can you? Like…she is too good. Too sweet”

She rolled her eyes and went back to her phone scrolling through posts and messages. You looked at the package and scratched the cardboard with your fingers,contemplating how to phrase your proposal.

“oh so what if I got her a gift too? Like something big?”

“big like…say tickets to visit her?” she said and cocked a brow

“no june i'm serious-“

“So am I”

you stared long and hard at each other. You weren’t sure when to even propose that to her. Things were going well but you didn’t like the idea that you could possibly seem needy or too eager. Which weren’t bad things per say but they did stupidly bruise your ego. You weren’t one to endorse such games and thoughts but you held Abby to such a high standard that you hated that any “strong” emotion that you would exhibit would scare her off

“As much as I would like to do that, I think I'll take my time. It's only been a week you know”

June shrugged knowing that even if she said something in the moment it wouldn’t change your mind.

You grabbed the box of gifts and made your way to your workshop.

“Hey june wanna come in here ? I could use your help with the chainmail”

“Sure”

“about our stream by the way…I have one scheduled for tonight. You can join and see if you like the whole experience . I remember you mentioning last year that you wanted to get into it”

her eyes opened up in awe and a big smile stretched her lips.

“fuck yeah Im very sure I wanna pursue this thing with you so if I’m not really throwing you off schedule Im in”

“I was just going to catch up with my viewers and have a chat since it's been a while since I last had a stream. Perfect time to introduce you”

You held the box of rings and continued working on the armor grabbing your tools in silence and left June to rummage through your makeup supplies to fix herself up. In truth you saw your friend's light falter while she contemplated her future with her uni and you were equally happy to make a collaborative streaming channel with her. You two were close -obviously- and you had the type of familiarity and humor that would translate well on the screen.

You loved working alone. always being your own model and your own manager. However working with Abby as your model for a change of pace, and having a friend to stream with didn’t sound so bad. In fact you finally felt like you could trust people more in ways other than shallow or superficial.

______

“Just act like Im there” Abby rasped, her tone significantly lower than usual and with the way she guided you throughout the call made it feel that way as well

“Touch yourself for me baby” she whispered tenderness laced with lust, her neediness visible through her voice. Your hand ventured beneath your underwear with your fingers sliding through the wet folds of your pussy with ease that had you blushing in embarrassment . It was relieving to know that Abby couldn’t see how terribly horny you were for her and you felt that she would be dangerously powerful were she to find out about the affect her voice alone had on you

You circled your clit with slow movements, struggling to keep the pace that Abby demanded of you the moment you heard her soft moans. heat pooled in your stomach again and every stroke sent jolts through your entire body as she indulged you with endless praise that eventually escalated to raunchy comments that made your spine arch of the bed

“you are doing so good” turned to “You are such a whore I can practically hear how wet you are from here, oh? You liked that didn’t you?”

You didn’t think you could actually cum from a phonecall. Hell, with your past partners you hardly even got wet when they were present and went down, yet now all it took was two fingers in and you came undone seconds later breathing heavy and covered in sweat.

You checked the time and realized that this whole foreplay had gone on for 40 minutes.

“Damn you…no wonder you are at the top 0.1% on onlyfans” You said mindlessly and heard her huff out a chuckle on the other end of the line

“That’s not what I do there. These one on ones are for you only and…and I'm just glad it went this good”

you rolled on your stomach and held your phone in your clean hand

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never done this before and I was really nervous not to fuck up”

you smiled. You wanted to see her again. You missed her

“Abs?”

she -mmhd- still too dazed probably from everything that went down a few minutes ago

“I wanna see you” you said and cringed the moment the words left your mouth

“Oh, you wanna facetime?”

“no”

you could hear the “????” as Abby tried to put the pieces together. You despised how much of a coward you were. Abby so far had carried the entire construction of this relationship. You could do this much

“I mean I’d like to see you in person, I..I missed you”

“Me too” her voice softened

“fuck I, I miss you already and it has only been a month I know but…Do you think you’d maybe wanna visit for spring break?”

Your lips stretched and cracked with a smile. You wanted to scream in excitement. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal that Abby wanted to see you but it was, because she also wanted you to visit her soon. She wanted you

“Yeah that’s what I was going to suggest actually..I have been saving up ever since you left and..I could get tickets by the end of the month”

“Fuck yes that would be amazing and you can meet Alice and since its two months in advance I can look around for events or things you’d like to see?”

your chest swelled and your eyes started to sing. You muffled a whimper and lowered your head to swallow back your tears.

“love? are you alright?”

“ye-ah” you choked out and tried to wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater. You were in love with this woman and you were so content with that feeling that you allowed yourself a few moments to calm down before you spilled your emotions too fast

“Sorry, I'm just happy. Yeah we could arrange to do some stuff”

“alright cool anything that comes to mind right away?”

You looked across your room at your wardrobe with all the victorian gowns and costumes you sewed for class

“Renfaire”

_________

“I got them”

“For how long?”

“17 days as promised”

You heard Abby yell excited and smack her desk

“fuck yeah! I get to be my girl for half a month”

“your excitement is truly adorable and deeply appreciated” you teased while walking down the wet pavement to get to your afternoon lectures

“fuck off you prissy twit. As if you aren’t happy”

“No need to get all hissy at me. I am just as excited”

Abby started rambling about every event she found and asked twice on whether you were certain that making your renfaire costume’s wasn’t too much pressure which you reassured-twice- that you were building a portfolio this year so if anything you needed the extra work

“Not sure if you'd be into that but Ellie will be throwing a party and we were invited” she said not even trying to hide the destate she had for the woman.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to but I won’t lie, I always wanted to see how you hold parties over there in the US”

“Again, you watch too many movies”

“Let me dream” you whined and she laughed

“Alright Im outside class and late as fuck”

“-as always” abby cut you off

“so I’ll call you later” you said, ignoring her remark

You hung up and walked in quickly making your way to your usual seat on the pattern table.

“Work?” the teacher asked and you raised your brows faking an apologetic expression. work- as in you were too busy double and triple checking the tickets for your flight and that they were on the correct airport and then you had to triple check that the airline company you choose would handle switching your luggage between flights and-

“yeah work” you answered and she nodded in empathy

You slumped in your seat and pulled out your phone scrolling through your list of things you had to finish working on and things you had to buy before leaving. This would have to be the biggest trip you’ve ever planned. not just in the matter of your stay but also regarding the distance of your flight. You chewed on your lip. The tickets required an emergency contact and you had put your mothers number. Someone you hadn’t even told her you were leaving the country yet.

You had to mentally prepare yourself knowing she would pull every fault and harm you’ve done in your 22 years of life to guilt you out of that trip due to her co-dependency issues with you. Such were the struggles of living with a widowed mother.

the role of the father and the “male protector” was forced on you. You started to suffocate and felt angry.

repressed anger that came and went in waves.

what if you were to permanently leave for the US?

Could you afford it ?

Would she support it?

Would you be finally free ?

at what cost though?

you opened your contact list and scrolled far down to your therapist's number that stayed there neglected after months of ghosting. therapy never helped. You doubted one quick session would solve years of abuse and trauma anyways but you were all out of options. You thought of Abby. Could you open up to her about this ?

You were filled with a familiar dreadful feeling of emptiness. Had the two of you ever even talked about anything serious ? You talked yeah, but if you were about to fall apart would she be there to support you while you tried to get back on your feet?

You locked your phone. This endless cycle of self pity was getting you nowhere.

During break you went to the schools cafeteria and got their shitty overpriced coffee for the sake of having limitless time to sit on the bar by the windows.

cottoncandy: Abby can I talk to you?

staygrounded69: Whats up babe? Missed me already?

cottoncandy: No I think I'm having a meltdown

you confessed without thinking twice and seconds later your phone lit up with her name. You picked up the call and raised your phone to your ear

“Abby I-“

“whats going on? are you alright? are you safe?”

she asked and you wanted to cry at how tender and careful she always was with you. You nodded even though you knew she couldn't see you

“I'm safe just…Abby there’s this issue that I'm not sure how to deal with… see my mom…I haven’t told her yet about my trip and she..she is very possessive and protective and Im scared”

abby was silent for a few minutes considering what you had told her

“Can she do something that will hurt you? physically or emotionally?”

“Her words have a strong effect on me abby…if she says something..she can change my feelings about anything. she can make me angry about things I wouldn’t be angry about and she can make me second guess everything. I want to see you and Im scared that if she says something off I will cancel everything and ruin this-“

“hey hey relax love, I got you” she soothed and you started tightening your fists your nails digging in the flesh of your palm deeper and deeper trying to calm your nerves.

why did I say all of this God Im so fucking pathetic and weak

“Sorry ignore everything Ive said Im just stressed with essay admissions and-“

“please don’t shut me out…you do it a lot and..I never want to push you but I notice when your mood changed and when your thoughts get the best of you” she said which caught you off guard and completely by surprise. So she noticed ? she noticed you?

she saw you?

“Does she know you are..dating a woman?”

“Oh yeah. She’s over that much at least. She doesn’t complain about that anymore now her issue will be that Im traveling so far…”

“Are you scared to make a trip like that?”

“No. I love flights and I know I will have a good time with you there” I trust you

you thought

“Then try to remember that when she tries to talk you out of it. These are your feelings. whatever happens after she finds out is about her and not about you”

You nodded and noticed your breathing pattern was starting to even out.

“Sorry”

“Don't be”

“still…”

“I don’t wanna hear it. I'm here for you. Whichever way you need me to”

you nodded silently. Abby probably knew as she trailed on how her day went and complained about Isaac being a bitch which made you laugh and loosen up

_______

ABBY’s POV

the three months that you were apart Abby fell endlessly in different slumps of misery and self loath. Her manager was making it exceptionally hard to continue their partnership

“You can’t post your girlfriend. Your income relies on been everyones sweetheart and you are fucking it up”

“oh am I? Cause I haven’t seen a fall in my profits and if anything things are going better than before. Isaac for once I don’t need to see my therapists twice a week and Im motivated to make more content”

He groaned and rubbed his temples trying to control his anger

“Abby this is insane. Right now things are well because majority of your audience has no fucking idea you are tied”

Abby got out off her chair and paced around the room running her hands through her braided hair and resting them on the nape of her neck. she clenched her jaw in anger. She wasn’t willing to sacrifice this

“Im not renewing our contract”

“excuse me?”

she turned around and stomped all the way to his side making him take a step back intimidated

“You heard me. Find someone else to leech on. There’s a month left right? Enough time for you to find a new pet. Im through with you”

She left his office shaking. Panic clogged her throat. She called Manny repeatedly till he picked up

“pendejo what do you want?!”

he sounded man and Abby guessed that she interrupted him from a date

“Im changing managers”

“huh? Wait, so you left Isaac?”

Manny asked and his tone changed immediately from angry to concerned and confused. Abby got in her car and turned on the engine while putting him on speaker

“Yeah I, fuck I dont know what Im gonna do with finances and all but he suggested I break up with corton or that I straight up break up and I wasn’t having it”

she said in one breath and started driving to nowhere in particular. she wasn’t ready to go home yet so she decided to go on a long afternoon drive till the sun set at least

“I'm with you but are you sure it was worth doing this for her?”

“I did it for me Manny. He has been controlling every aspect of my life for too long”

Manny knew that well enough by now. In fact he had also tried to suggest she switched agencies. Manny worked with Isaac as well but he wasn’t as affected by his antics as Abby was.

“Then you did the right thing Abs”

A week later she received a series of furious messages from Isaac calling her every name in the book all wrapped up with the statement

“I made you and you will be nothing without me like you were before I met you”

Abby took a screenshot and decided to use this as a way to terminate her contract sooner

That day when she went home a parcel was waiting for her. it was soft and heavy wrapped in brown paper. She recognised the sender immediately and ran inside to tear off and see the contents. It was her knight costume for renfaire. You had finished it and sent it to her.

she bared her teeth in a grin. The fabrics were expensive and you had the brilliant idea to make the shirt from feathersilk. A light fabric that looked like water and had the most beautiful flow with every move she made. You had handcrafted chainmail pieces along with leather belts and armbands. She held the pieces that looked like metal only to find out they were made out of leather and painted as well. She admired the finer details and every brush stroke of baroque details that you added.

She carefully put every part and smiled at the handmade page of instructions that you added in the parcel of which part went where. The fabrics had your scent and that alone aroused her to an unhealthy extent. halfway through getting dressed she leaned back against her couch that was facing a mirror and took a topless pic. She could use that later. she put on the remaining pieces and let her hair loose, admiring the complete costume. she hated that she had no idea what you were sewing for yourself. Would you make a dress ? were you also going to be a knight? She didn’t dwell too long on those thoughts as she shamelessly eye fucker herself cause hell, She did look hot.

That's my girls work

she thought proud like a bird puffing out its chest and spun once more watching as the cape dances behind her. Your reply was humble

“Im just glad it fits properly and that nothing got torn yet :’) I tried to add a double stitch to make sure the pieces would be sturdy but I'm still new”

She would have strangled you for your self demeaning attitude and then given you the messiest eating out session to show her gratitude, spit and all

“You are fucking gifted, and your paint job? This is insane”

“You deserve the best <3”

you said and she blushed. she sent you the topless pic where she only wore the pants and shoulderpads. She watched as you typed and deleted your text again and again until you settled for a

“We are fucking before,during and after renfaire. Otherwise I'm tearing your costume to shreds”

and she took that as a win

__________

Abby all but leaped when she saw you and ran to your side wrapping her arms around you in a bone crushing hug. She was scared of many things. There were many ways a trip could go wrong before it even began but now that you were here in front of her she felt at ease. she took her time breathing in your scent and her hands entangled in your hair pulling you in closer. She feared she would cry if she extended the hug any longer so she leaned in to kiss you briefly before cupping your cheeks and asking about your flight

you smiled, lips streched with your cheeks a tint of pink

“It was good Abs. I'm happy that Im here now”

and she nodded biting her lip and leaning down to kiss you again

“me too my love” she whispered between the kiss and felt you slide your hands around her waist and melt deeper in her arms

[grumpybunny-edith]

Gwen's Bunny HRT - Month 1 (Part 1)

I look at my reflection for what feels like the hundredth time today, waffling on how to do it. All the other girls have already gone through all this, and compared to their one-month photos, I feel... Behind. Delilah had already started growing fur in some places, and Edith already had a little bit of tail growing in. Sure, it looked a little weird without any fur on it, but... I’ve got nothing there but soreness. Is it even worth celebrating? Like, “oh yay, my ears look longer if you squint and my teeth look a little sillier”.  

I take a deep breath and dig my toes into my carpet, feeling pain flare up in them. It just started a couple days ago — maybe it would be better to wait until something came of it? Until walking on my toes didn’t hurt so bad, or even felt better than walking on my heels? 

I feel a tiny impulse at the small of my back, my spine apparently doing its best to wiggle at its base. Am I... unconsciously wagging my tail? The soreness that comes with it matches what the other girls had talked about. I smile, showing my reflection my weird teeth and the pain subsides a little. 

“Bunnies wag their tails when they’re upset,” Edith had told me once. It’s warming to feel how right she is, to feel like I actually belong, even for a second. It’s not that the other girls haven’t done a good job of making me think so; it’s just hard to see all of them so far along and then to look at myself. 

I set my phone down and stare at myself for a while. I imagine the fur suddenly sprouting up all across my body, shiny and soft. I imagine my ears getting so tall they graze the doorway. I imagine my tail, tiny and fluffy, poking out just about the hem of my sweatpants. It makes me smile and laugh at myself, and I feel a bit of pride in my teeth. They’ll look better coupled with everything else, I think. 

I hear my phone buzz, trying to avoid convincing myself it’s because my hearing has spontaneously improved. I laugh it off and check what it was. 

raeraebun: Hey girl!! Today’s one month, right?? Where’s the update??

I smile and blush instinctively. Rae and I don’t chat that much, but every time we do it lifts my whole mood. She’s also dropped by my place a couple times because she “made too many brownies and just had to make a delivery”. 

wen-kutesuli: Hey! Idk if I’m gonna do it today honestly lol 

raeraebun: Aww, why not? i mean like do whatever you want obvi but. you okay?

I sigh. I know I can probably tell her, it’ll almost definitely be fine, and she probably has something great to say. But it doesn’t make it any easier to say it. I’m almost embarrassed to still feel the way that I do even after her and Edith’s constant preaching of “loving yourself wherever you are”. 

wen-kutesuli: Yeah I’m okay lol. Just kinda 

wen-kutesuli: Wish I had more to show, I guess? 

Rae’s response comes quite literally instantly. 

raeraebun: GWENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

raeraebun: okay 

raeraebun: lemme show you something 

When Rae comes back after a couple minutes of digging, she sends me a picture of some random girl with hair like her own, followed by five closeups of a pretty standard human ear. 

raeraebun: so like

raeraebun: this was from january last year 

raeraebun: Id been on hrt for like. a month and a half to the day

raeraebun: I had taken a picture of myself every day since starting my regimen

raeraebun: and didnt see anything until that picture when FINALLY 

raeraebun: my ears had grown the tiniest little bit. 

raeraebun: I didnt stop screaming about it all day lol ashley got so sick of it 

raeraebun: and yk what happened next?

raeraebun: they stayed just like that for three more weeks LMAO

Rae has this way of making people smile and cry their eyes out at the same time. 

raeraebun: so... be nice to yourself? its not gonna happen all at once, and thats ok. every little bit is worth, like

raeraebun: I dunno 

raeraebun: a thousand parties

wen-kutesuli: That’s a lot of parties 

raeraebun: and you earn every single one of them :) 

I sit in stunned silence so pleased I don’t know what to do with myself. My body wants some kind of release, and I let it have one, laying face down and kicking my feet so quickly and so hard into the floor it probably upset the people below me. 

raeraebun: you dont have to, but we all wanna celebrate with you :D 

wen-kutesuli: Thank you 🩵 Maybe I’ll do it 

raeraebun: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

raeraebun: GO GWENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

---

Thank you to @flightlessbirdgirl for helping me decide on Gwen's username and for letting me bounce ideas off it!

Next

[d4yd4iry]

Thirty To Regain

Parings: Kim Minji x fem!reader

Sypnosis: 10 months of loss, thirty to regain.

Genre: Slight angst

Memories came flooding in of the bitter yet sweet memory of your first love as you reenter your apartment for the first time in 10 months.

Kim Minji was everywhere you looked, in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, everywhere. There wasn’t a single place that stood without her memories.

You felt as if you were going crazy as you heard a ghostly echoes of her laughter.

The place you once called “Home” haven’t been the same since she left. Because she was your home but now that she’s gone, home doesn’t exist.

You turned to your right, facing a bulletin board filled with polaroid pictures of you and Minji.

You took one of the pictures out, it was taken right when she stole your first kiss. You haven’t smiled like that in ages, or even smiled at all.

As you were looking through all of the photos, a sudden phone call rung, startling you in the process. “Hi mom” you immediately relaxed after hearing her voice.

“Hi honey, when are you flying back home?”

“Maybe next week? And how are you mom? Is dad giving you a hard time?”

“I’m managing, but honey, your dad is getting suspicious, but I can hold him on for a little longer. Just make sure to be back before your engagement party.”

You frowned after hearing the two last words, you hated getting reminded of that, after all it’s the reason why things are the way it is.

“Right. Don’t worry, I won’t disappoint you.”

“Oh honey, you could never disappoint me. Your happiness is my happiness, I’ll support whatever you decide to do in the end. Just know that mom will always be on your side, I love you.”

“I love you too mom, good bye.” You felt better after the call, your mom have always been your biggest supporter since day one. Can’t say the same for your dad though.

You held your breath as you went into your bedroom, it was still the same as how you left it 10 months ago except for the fact that her stuff was gone.

All was left was a teddy bear, one that she won for you at the carnival that you guys went to, on your first date.

You lifted the toy and traced its fuzzy fur. A teddy bear filled with memories of the times Minji would jokingly call him your son. She gave it a purpose, but now that she’s gone, it’s just an object.

Before you even knew it, tears were threatening to fall as you were clutching the teddy bear to your chest. Fresh air, you needed fresh air.

With a heavy heart, you placed the bear back to its rightful position before you ran out of your apartment.

You went anywhere your feet would take you to, you just wanted to stop reliving your memories.

But walking through the streets of Seoul wasn’t any better, she was everywhere being a member of NewJeans after all.

They were getting bigger and bigger everyday, you have always been their biggest supporter then and even now. Even before you got together with her, you were also extremely close with the girls.

So when Minji went back to the dorms with a broken heart after you had broken up with her, they were all understandingly upset at you.

Especially Hyein who’s your little cousin, she wouldn’t talk to you for days but then found out about your dad’s plan of marrying you off.

You had to beg her not to tell her members but it was too late since she already told Hanni, Dani, Haerin, and luckily not Minji.

That night, your phone was blowing up with concerned messages from the girls. You were always grateful to have them in your life, they treated you like family.

It felt like time was slowing down as your feet carried you through a familiar street which you missed dearly. Soon, you find yourself heading inside of a cafe you once visited regularly.

The smell of roasted beans and baked goods hit your nose immediately after stepping foot inside of the cafe.

You decided that it was a good time for a hot drink. After putting in your regular order, you waited a bit for the worker to finish with it before finding a place to sit.

You sipped your hot chocolate and was about to pull out your phone when you were interrupted by a gasp from behind .

“Yn unnie?” A familiar voice called out. You turned around and was shocked to face Hyein and Haerin who were both as equally shocked.

“Unnie we missed you!” Your cousin immediately went to hug you with Haerin doing the same after the younger girl stepped aside.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’re coming back?” Hyein pouted and slapped your arm playfully, causing you to let out a chuckle.

“Sorry, I don’t plan on staying long anyways. Just for a few days since…well, uh, I’m getting engaged next week.” You explained regretfully, your voice dropping when you spoke about the engagement.

“What? That’s so soon…what about Minji unnie? You still love her don’t you?” Haerin questioned with her curious cat like eyes, you couldn’t help but soften up.

“Of course I do, Rin. I still love her a lot, but it’s complicated.” Truth to be said, all you wanted to do was run back to Minji and beg her to take you back.

“Still, I think Minji unnie deserves to know about it, it’s only fair.” The younger girl insisted gently, earning an agreeing nod from Hyein.

“Haerin unnie is right! Yn unnie, you should tell her, she doesn’t deserve to stay in the dark.”

Both of the girls looked at you pleadingly, they were sick of having to hide such a big secret from Minji, it didn’t feel right.

But you didn’t feel any better, it was eating you alive.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, she’ll only hate me more. Plus, I’ve already broken her heart and to find out that I’m getting married too? I can’t do that to her.” During the time when you were still dating Minji, the biggest thing that you guys had after love was trust.

You both trusted each other so much, never hiding anything from one another. So hiding this from her even if you guys aren’t together, was killing you inside.

The girls stayed quiet for a moment, trying to find the right words to comfort you.

“You’re wrong, she doesn’t hate you. Unnie still have your pictures hung on her wall and stuff and sometimes I would find her just looking at it for 10 minutes straight.” Hyein admitted after seeing the sad expression that laid on her cousin’s face.

“Really?” Your eyes widened up at the information before looking at Haerin to confirm.

She nodded. “Yeah I witnessed it too, more than once actually.”

Hyein placed a hand on your shoulder, looking at you pleading. “I feel like a child of divorced parents. Unnie I really don’t like your future fiancé, she’s so mean.”

You sighed knowing full well that she was right. You’ve known your future wife since you were kids but never liked her. She was snobby, mean, and an entitled brat.

She used to always follow you around and would hit anyone who tried to talk to you, Hyein was one of them. She was only 6 when she got pushed to the ground while trying to play with her older cousin.

It was when the younger girl’s resentment started to grow.

“I know Hye, but I don’t have a choice.”

“Still, you should talk to her. You both really need it.”

You nodded in defeat, you could never reject your baby cousin. “I’ll think abo-“ you didn’t get to finished your sentence as you got interrupted by the notifications from your phone.

A sigh escaped your lips as you read one of the many messages that your dad spammed you with. Totally ruining your once happy mood.

Turning to Haerin and Hyein with a sad smile, you said. “It was wonderful meeting you girls, but I have to take this, sadly.”

You hugged them both for the last time before disappearing out of their sight.

“Who were you two talking to” Minji popped out of nowhere, startling the two girls in the process.

“Uh, we were talking to Y-“ Hyein was stopped by Haerin who stomped on her toes. “No one, we were taking to no one”

“Are you sure?” They nodded in sync, it was suspicious but Minji decided to not dig deeper as it was already late at night.

“Okay then, let’s go back to the car, our manager is waiting.”

The question from your mom left you dazed. Is she worth fighting for? Of course she is.

Kim Minji will always be worth it.

You couldn’t believe that you were actually proceeding with the plan that you and your cousin made.

But there you were, your heart pounding as you were standing alone backstage, waiting for Minji to arrive.

The last time you were this nervous was when you were asking her to be your girlfriend.

Seeing her again after so long would be hard, but you had to fix things or at least try.

Being too clouded with your thoughts, you hadn’t realized that she had already arrived in the room, her eyes opened wide as if she had just saw a ghost.

“Minji, can we talk? Please.” You looked at her pleadingly, facing her was nerve wreaking, she was still the same Kim Minji whom you love more than anything in the world combined.

“What are you doing here?” She spoke in a harsh tone, one that she never used with you.

But then again, you should’ve prepared yourself for this reaction, you were the one broke her heart after all.

You took a deep breath, trying to seem calm but in reality, you were anything but calm. “There’s a lot to explain. I made mistakes and left you in the dark but I can’t hold it in any longer. I know I have no rights to want this from you but I need you to listen.”

Minji’s stare softened a little. You knew deep down she still cares. “What is it?” You could hear the hurt inside her words. “What could you possibly say to fix this?”

“Well, for starters I’m getting engaged next week.“ You started off with the main root of the problem, it was a bad idea but you weren’t thinking at the time.

Minji looked at you and scoffed. “What? Seriously? First, you broke up with me without telling me why, then you disappeared for like 10 months and now you’re back just to say that you found a new lover who you’ll be getting married to?” She glared at you with arms crossed. “You’re ridiculous Yn, actually.”

Your heart was aching but you chose to continue gently, looking at her with sincerity. “I know I am and I’m so sorry, no amount of apologies can fix this. I still love you Minji.”

Minji frozed at your words. “No you don’t” she denied. “Not anymore at least.”

Your heart dropped. “I understand that you don’t believe me and you’re mad, b-“

“You’re right, I am.”

“But please listen to what I have to say.” You looked at her pleadingly. You would go as far as to beg on your knees, anything to get her to listen to you.

“What is there to say? You’ve found yourself a new girl, that’s it.”

Your heart dropped at every words that were coming out of her mouth. Especially since it couldn’t be further from the truth, you just needed to explain yourself before you go crazy.

You reached for her hands, meeting her gaze with open sincerity. “Please just listen, I love you so much, it feels like I’m going insane!”

“You can’t just leave and shut me out of your life just to come back and say that, it’s not fair.”

“Well, I had no choice! My dad never approved of us, he wanted me to marry a woman I do not love, if not he’ll do anything in his power to make you disappear from my life completely. So I complied, I did not want to lose you Min, but I had no choice.” You felt like you were being suffocated on spot, the walls around you were spinning around. You wanted to disappear.

Minji’s once cold face turned into a concerned one before turning into a slight frown. “You idiot! You should’ve told me the truth from the start!” She exclaimed as she slapped you gently on the shoulder.

“You’re right to call me an idiot, I should’ve told you from the start. But I was afraid that if I let you know then I’ll have no choice but to go against my dad’s wishes.”

“What changed?”

From the moment you arrived on earth, you’ve never went against your dad. You’re your dad’s daughter after all, but you were always miserable with him around.

But not being around Kim Minji was even worse than any punishment combined.

Squeezing her hands gently with regrets staining your confession. “Everyday without you have been hell. I should’ve realized it sooner but now I know that my love for you is stronger than any threats, even if it means that there will be trouble.”

She stayed quiet but you knew that she was listening. That was your thing, understanding each other without needing words to say it.

Gazing into her eyes, your heart spilled open. “You are my home, Min. My heart belongs to you. Always has, always will.”

A heavy silence fell. She knew you better than any, even yourself, every emotion held in you have been made obvious to her. Her eyes held an answer yet, and rightfully so trust should be re-earned.

“Thirty days.” Minji said gently yet firm. But you felt confused. “Thirty days?

“I’ll give you thirty days to regain my trust.” She took a steady breath. “Show me your sincerity, make me believe that we can work.”

Your eyes sparkled as you nodded in determination. “Thirty days, I promise to be better, no secrets, I’ll tell you everything.”

Squeezing your hand, Minji replied. “I want to believe in us again.”

“I’ll make you believe.”

[shellingtons-failed-driving-test]

Chapter One

4,311 Words

Authoru's Note:

Sorry, this doesn't have a title yet, but I'm trying to think up one. I just wanted to go ahead and post it to see what people think. If you have any suggestions pls put them in the comments.

Oh, my word this got way longer than I'd originally intended. I hope I was okay with the characterisation. I was worrying so much as I was writing it. I hope the interactions feel in character and you enjoy it.

Also, I have changed the ages slightly, which I think is fine because they're unspecified. However, it is canon that Peso has finished Medical school, but in the story, he has not. He's 19 and a half because he went to nursing school right after high school and plans to get a medical degree later.

And, in this universe, all humans are animal hybrids so they have actual hands and feet but still ears and tails. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it, but they're referred to by what type of hybrid they are as well as their race. Certain areas have more common hybrids that correspond to what "regular/normal" animals live there. EX: skunk hybrids are only in the Americas because skunks don't live anywhere else.

Anyway, sorry about my ramblings, and happy reading!

Peso's Perspective:

The big car stops with a squeal, throwing me forward with its sudden breaking. As soon as the door opens the sound of waves crashing and seagulls crying fills my ears. The sea breeze is refreshing after being cooped up in a vehicle for so long.

“Here we are.” The driver says curtly. He’s a state government employee with a scruffy beard that makes him look older than he probably is. He didn’t say a single word the entire drive, leaving me in silence broken only by the occasional crackling of the radio. In a way, it was good because it gave me a chance to do some last-minute studying of the Octonauts handbook pdf I printed out at home. Still, I felt like he was kind of glaring at me in the mirror. Maybe it’s just the anxiety. Maybe he’s just a grumpy person. He had photographs of his children clipped to his visor, but I didn’t see a wedding ring. Divorced, maybe?

“Thank you, sir.”

“It’s just my job. Say, you’re with that team of astro- er, aqua- whatever, scientist, right?”

“The Octonauts, yes.”

“Right, that’s what it was.” He nods as he helps me unload my bags. I gulp a bit at their size. I’m really going to be living at sea for months. I hope my family will be okay.

As soon as he sets the bags down, he closes the hatch and drives off, leaving me once again alone. The other Octonauts, the original Octonauts, have been at sea for a year already. They got a send-off with fanfare at their port in England, all I got was a crumpled map to try and find my way around this place. I’m not jealous but . . . it only reminds me that I’m the newbie, not one of them.

I’m only here as a filler for Dr. Deere, who had to leave due to a research development for one of his projects on land. They’re going to have a proper replacement, someone qualified, in six months at the latest, that’s what they said. It takes a lot to qualify for this programme, the best of the best with years of study in their fields and here I am, just some lucky guy. I’m not even an actual doctor, just a nurse, and even then I still have a few final training courses to complete. All week I’ve wondered, why on earth would they pick me? Am I even good enough?

I blink at the blare of a ship’s horn. Crap, I can’t zone out like that! I need to be prepared for anything, ANYTHING. I will be . . . as soon as I find the ship.

I was sent the training videos, all 600-something of them, on a hard drive the size of my hand, but obviously, I haven’t had time to watch them all and downloading them would’ve taken nearly all of my storage space, so I just packed the whole hard drive instead. The schematics are on the hard drive too, so I have no idea what this thing looks like. They said they’d go over plans and safety once I was settled, but I wish I could at least have a photo. It’s got to be some kind of submarine, right?

The port on the Isle of Skye is a small, but bustling place. The signage is old, and blocked by containers coming in. A crew pulls a fishing net of turtles out onto the dock, and I wince. Then, I see they’re all for studying. Several scientists surround them, scanning red tags on the fins and retrieving cameras from their shells. I smile as I pass them, waving at the turtles, who wave back. I notice one of the scientists, a brown-haired man hurrying around. When he looks at his tablet he jumps in surprise.

“Jumping jellyfish! We were totally wrong about the feeding grounds. This is amazing! I thought . . .”

I don’t catch the rest as I walk on. I’ve never heard someone so excited about being proven wrong before.

As I round the corner, I see it. 

Dios mío . . .

It looks like an octopus. Of course, it does. I’m so stupid. It’s the Octopod. A state-of-the-art international research station with laboratories capable of housing a crew of 10 for extended periods. Can I just go in?

I stop when I get to the ramp, hesitating at the bottom, I survey the large oddly shaped submarine once more. My temporary home. As I look up something flickers in the window, like a lamp, or a streak of orange, but it’s gone before I’m sure.

I remember what my 4th grade science teacher, Mr. Perez always said: Take a deep breath. I do, and even after all this time, it helps.

The ramp echoes under my feet in a comforting way, assuring me of the ship’s solidity. A small yellow creature greets me, and I gasp. It frowns.

“Oh, I’m sorry, that was terribly rude of me. You’re very cute looking, you just scared me.”

It makes a chirping sound, which sounds affirmative. Laughing, I follow it into the elevator, as it closes I hear footsteps, someone running.

“Tunip!” A male voice pants, he has a heavy Scottish accent. “Don’t . . . leave me.” 

Huffing and a little winded the scientist from before appears. The yellow creature makes a sound that sounds like a scold. 

“Ah, well, sorry. I got distracted with the turtles.” the man says sheepishly. He’s the same scientist I saw with the turtles. Now that I can see him better it’s clear that he’s not too much older than me. His chestnut brown hair is messy and his eyes have bags underneath them but are still concerningly bright, He bears the appearance of an overworked uni student, and yet somehow still cute.

The creature blows a raspberry at him and starts to close the lift doors.

“Hey, now that’s not very kind! I was just trying to– Ah, hey! Don’t close the lift on me!”

The creature huffs, sounding almost affectionate, but allows the man into the lift. 

Once inside he takes a deep breath, pulling a handful of Polaroids from his shoulder bag, looking at them as if to make sure they don’t disappear. They’re of the turtles, and a few have him in them, but he doesn’t spend as much time looking at them. Finally, he turns to me, as if he’s just noticed me.

“Oh, hello there. Forgive me, I didn’t see you. I’m Shellington.” He doesn’t extend his hand, only nodding, but the greeting is still just as friendly.

“I’m Peso. I’m the temporary medic.”

He nods, more to himself than to me, I think, muttering “Oh, good. It’s dangerous for us not to have one on board, especially with Kwazii.”

As the lift rises, it makes a loud mechanical whirring, as if no one had bothered to dampen it as they do in most lifts. In fact, the whole thing looks industrial and feels about five degrees colder than before the door was closed. I wonder why, I also wonder who Kwazii is. Finally, it dings and the doors open and he steps out into a small dark room. I trip after him, barely able to see a centimetre in front of me.

“Uhhh?”

My foot collides with something and I go sprawling over (except not really because there’s barely space in this room for my body length).

“Owwie! You’ve stood on my foot!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. But, where are we?”

“Oh, whoops, I must’ve forgotten to mention. This lift is only here because some equipment would be unsafe to carry any other way, either because it contains potentially hazardous materials or it’s simply too large.”

“Oh . . . I suppose that makes sense.”

It would be hard to carry an entire x-ray machine up and down stairs, even a portable one.

“Welcome to my closet!” He says it with his arms wide to indicate the space around us with affected excitement, but the space is small so he can’t extend his arms very much. I can’t help but laugh.

The idea of being in a closet makes me laugh a bit, but I still don’t like dark spaces.

“Can we, um, maybe get out?”

“Oh, right, yes.”

He presses a switch I can’t see and light streams in. With a sigh of relief, I follow him into the larger room. It’s a laboratory. It’s very green, with light green walls, floors and posters. Now that I pay attention, even his shirt is olive green. He must really love green.

I turn to ask him about where I’m supposed to be, only to see he’s already gone back to work. Right, they don’t have time for a bumbling rookie. After a moment of debate with myself, I tap him lightly on the shoulder. It takes a few times before he notices, and when he does he jumps again. 

“Excuse me, do you know where it is I’m supposed to go?”

He furrows his brow thoughtfully, “Hmm, I don’t have much to do with the recruitment process, that’s Professor Inkling and the Captain’s job, but I believe you’re supposed to meet with the Captain, he should be in HQ. I have to finish processing this data, but Tunip can take you.”

“Okay.”

The creature, Turnip, seems to smile. He chirps excitedly leading me back to the lift. When he gets in he jumps high enough to press the button that reads HQ. The ride is short and the doors open out to a large circular room. Glass makes up the top half of the room, a large skylight. I can only imagine what it must look like underwater. It must be incredible.

In the centre stands a tall man, not quite old enough to be my father, but a little older than Pogo, with neatly combed white hair, he wears a blue uniform with a tool belt. This must be the captain. He smiles, extending his hand. He towers over me.

“Good morning, you must be Peso. I’m Captain Barnacles, it’s lovely to finally meet you, Dr. Deere told me all about you.” His voice is loud, but kind.

“Oh, h-he did?” It comes out as a question, and I stutter under everyone’s sudden gaze. Even Tunip looks expectantly at me. “I mean, I’m glad he did. And I’m very glad to meet all of you and be working with you.”

“Us as well, we hope you can learn a lot during your time here. Let’s meet everyone.”

He waves for me to follow and takes me to a station full of buttons and computers. A woman gets up when she sees us. She has warm brown skin and hair cut in a fluffy chin-length bob, sunbleached with blond highlights. She’s a bit taller than me

“Dashi, meet Peso, our new medic.”

“Rad! Nice to meet you Peso. I’m Dashi, head of system and operation here in the Octopod. I run all the computer systems and track the weather patterns, but on my days off, I’m a surfer.”

With her Australian accent, it definitely makes sense.

“Ooh, fun.”

“It is, have you met anyone else yet?”

“The Captain, but that was obvious, sorry, and Shellington. He introduced himself as just Shellington, but does he have credentials I should call him by?”

“Not yet, but finished uni and he’s doing his PhD research on this mission, so he will. Have you met the vegimals yet?”

“The what?”

“They’re what he’s doing his research on. Oh, I’m sure you’ll just love them. I think Barrot is with Tweak right now actually.”

At this, Captain Barnacles nods, “Yes, I’m taking him to meet Tweak next.”

“Great, see you around, Peso!”

“You too.” I take a breath as we get back in the lift.

“This must be a lot for you.”

“Oh, no, sir. It’s really fine.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can handle it, but if you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask any of us. I know they can be a bit intense at first, but they’re all good people and they all want the same thing, to help creatures in the ocean. We’re happy to have you and they’ll be happy to help you adjust.”

“Thank you, Captain.” I can tell from his voice just how much he believes in the crew and in me, the only question is whether the crew feels the same, and if I even deserve that belief.

“I do hope you’ll settle in easily.”

“I’ll try my best. The crew all seem really nice.”

The lift dings then, relaising us to what looks like a garage with a large pool in the centre.

I see more of the creatures like Tunip standing next to a machine I can only describe as looking like a big orange shark, holding wrenches. What was it Dashi called them? Vegi-mals? The vegi-mal is as orange as the gup.

“47, please.” a female voice calls. Whoever she is, she has a southern United States accent like I’ve never heard before. I look around for the woman but I only see a pair of fluffy, light green ears sticking out from underneath the metal shark. They contrast oddly with the orange.

The vegi-mal hands her the large wrench he was holding.

“Thanks, screwdriver.”

She reaches up and he puts a small screwdriver in her hand.

“Thanks.” she hands the wrench back, “carrot.”

Huh?

The vegi-mal hands her a carrot straight out of the toolbox.

“Tweak, are you almost finished?” the Captain asks.

“You bet, I’ll be done faster n’ you can say buncha munchy crunchy carrots.”

Just as she pronounces the “t” she slides out from under the machine, half-eaten carrot in hand.

“What’s up?” Her hazel eyes sparkle in a nice way.

“Tweak, I’d like you to meet the new member of our team, Peso. He’ll be our medic for the next few months.”

She jumps up, striding over to shake my hand, “Nice to meet ya, Peso. Welcome abroad, and welcome to the Launch Bay.”

She takes a big bite of carrot, smiling, her green braid swinging as she walks over to the control panel. She’s more muscular than I am, wearing a jumpsuit not zipped all the way so it shows her tank top revealing her build. Her belt is full of tools I can’t even name, she looks like she belongs here.

“Thank you, it’s such a nice space,” I tell her honestly, looking around at all the gadgets. Finally, I spot something familiar. Ring of Fire, it's my younger brother, Pinto’s favourite video game. Seeing it makes me miss him more. 

She follows my gaze, “You play? I’m always up for a tournament!”

“Oh, ah, no. My younger brother. I’ve joined him a few times but I always die before the first round.”

“Shame, maybe I can teach you. Perhaps I can even teach you so well you’ll beat Kwazii. Ah, speakin’ of Kwaz, I should probably put Bea way before he comes lookin’ for her.”

Two people now have mentioned Kwazii. I wonder what his deal is? Is he the Octonauts mischievous pet or something? Whoever he is, I really want to meet him now. Meanwhile, there's a bubbling and the orange metal contraption disappears into the water.

The Captain laughs, “Yes, you should. Thank you for taking the time for Peso, I’m sure we’ll be back soon to see which Gup he’ll be riding in.”

“Well I was working’ on a little project . . . but yeah, s’probably best if he just rides with one of us for now. Gup A’s probably safest. You’re going to see the professor?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, well tell him thanks for the book, it’s helped a lot with my design.”

“I will. He’ll be glad to hear it.” The Captain smiles as he takes us back to the lift.

“The Equipment elevator, really, Cap?”

“Well, I thought that—”

Suddenly there’s a whooshing, and somebody lands right next to me.

“Ahoy Tweak!” A male voice shouts.

Tweak looks unimpressed, but I can see hidden affection when she rolls her eyes. “She’s not here.”

“Not anywhere?”

“Nope, ya just missed here.”

He whines, “Tweeeak! When am I gonna get my Gup back?”

“Come on, it’s just repairs, we do this every quarter, you know this.”

“I know, but . . .” he turns, starting to stalk off, then calls over his shoulder, “Fine, but I’ll be back!”

“I’m sure you will.”

While he’s looking at Tweak he stalks right into me. I fall very gracefully onto my butt. He snaps his head back in my direction with surprise, looking down.

“Oh, hey there little fella. I’m sorry about that.” he bends down offering his hand, and after a second I decide to embrace the humiliation and take it. He smiles, “So what brings you here?”

“I-”

“Are you lost?”

“What? No, I-”

“Kwazii.”

“I’m just trying to make conversation, Captain.”

“I know but-”

“Are you here for a tour? I didn’t think they let people do that.”

“Kwazii.” Captain taps him hard on the shoulder.

“Ouch! What is it, Captain?”

“He works here now.”

The man, Kwazzi, steps back, eye wide, then narrowing into basically a slit. I shiver. “Oh.” he lifts his eyes patch, squinting to look at me . . . and then he bursts out laughing.

I feel my entire body heating up with humiliation. Tweak winces.

“Oh, matey, I’m so sorry!” he manages between laughs, “I thought you were a kid. My bad, my bad.” At last, he recovers himself, extending his hand. “You must be Peso. I’m Kwazii, First Lieutenant.”

I don’t shake his hand. He frowns, retracting it and crossing his arms in disappointment. He seems kind, like someone who cares but that only makes it more patronising, only he isn’t wrong. Of course, he thought I was a kid. I am a kid. I don’t belong here with these smart talented adults.

It must show on my face because he softens, he steps forward, then back as if unsure of what to do. I don’t want to be babied. I’m not some creature he has to help. I want to be here to help, and here I am obviously a penguin out of water.

“Oh, I’m not laughing at you, I was laughing at meself, for being so knot-headed”

It’s fine really. I’m used to it, to being underestimated (even though I’m not sure I even have the skills) I don’t let it touch me anymore. (at least that's what I’m trying to tell myself. It’s not working.) I shake my head, not able to help the sign that escapes me. I am so in over my head. I don’t think he meant to be rude (surely not, but maybe insulting rookies is acceptable in scientific communities. Even if he sounds like some sort of pirate, he’s probably waaay smarter than me). “Oh. No, it's perfectly fine, you’re not the first and won’t be the last.”

He stands even farther back, not saying a thing, arms still crossed. His eyes scan over me, as if picking me apart, definitely judging me. He almost looks still, almost, but I can tell he’s not, not on the inside anyway. He can’t seem to truly stand still, his tail and ears twitching impatiently. He rocks on his feet ready to go do whatever it is he does at a moment's notice. Now that he’s as close to still as I suspect he gets I take the chance to really look at him.

The last member of my new team is tall (well, tall to me, and most people are tall to me, so probably medium height), and ginger. Unlike most gingers I’ve seen he’s not actually strawberry blond or a carrot top, but a light shade of orange that changes colour as the light shifts. It’s pretty.

His eye does the same. I can only see the right one and it's hard to tell because he keeps twitching but I think he has heterochromia, the rarer kind where one eye has two colours. The eye that I can see is brown with an amber in a ring around the middle.

But that’s not the strangest thing about him, one of his ears has a piece missing from it. I shiver at the thought of what could’ve done that. Did he get it while on a mission? Luckily they said I won’t have to go on missions . . . probably.

The Captain coughs awkwardly to break the silence. “Kwazii is field personnel, so he spends most of his time outside of the Octopod. You most likely won’t be seeing each other too often.” he looks at me as if trying to assure me. I know it’s unkind, but it makes me feel a bit better that I won’t have to spend much time around Kwazii. He's loud, seems unpredictable and looks dangerous (though I’m sure he’s not).

“That must be very exciting. I’m sure we can get to know each other some other time, then.”

He smiles but like all cats he has fangs, so it’s all teeth. I try my best not to gulp. Thankfully Captain leads me toward the lift. As we walk away I hear Kwazii whisper to Tweak “Huh? Where are they going?” I don’t even know why I turn around, but I do.

“Why aren’t you using the octochute?”

“The what?”

“The octochutes, haven’t you been using them?” I can tell he’s not trying to be mean. He looks so genuinely confused that it’s almost comical. His face is like the "???” expression in real life. It makes me laugh a little, releasing the tension.

“No.”

“Well then how’ve you been getting around, then?”

“I just took the lift.”

“But . . . it’s for equipment?”

“Yes, Shellington told me.”

He still looks incredulous. “The equipment lift? Why in the seven seas would ya do that, matey?”

“I don’t know, I just . . . did.”

“Matey, we ONLY use it for equipment, plus it’s sooo slow, and cold.”

Oh, that would explain why it isn’t nearly as fancy as the rest of the ship and opens into closets. I feel dumb for not realising it before. I guess I just thought they were cramped for space, but of course not. How stupid of me.

“Kwazii. Be polite, I told him too. It is his first day, after all. The octochutes can be a bit shocking at first, and he’s already come a long way to get here. I wanted to ease him into it.”

Kwazii droops, face losing the confusion and entering to a neutral state with no expression at all, after seeing him so energised it looks wrong like excitement is the natural state of his particles.

The Captain leads me away, back into a second equipment lift (I didn’t know there were two), I exhale when it closes and Kwazii and Tweak disappear.

After escaping another closet, we step into a bright blue and white room. It’s filled with medical equipment. This must be the Medical Bay. Through the door’s small window, I can see through the window across the hall. In his laboratory, Shellington is typing away on a desktop. Probably finishing the data he was talking about earlier.

“Here we are.”

I turn back to where the Captain stands. 

“This is the Medical Bay, where you’ll be working for the next few months. You share a sleeping pod with Dashi and there’s an Octochute that will take you there.”

“Sh-hare?” I mean, sure, I’m gay, I’ve known that since I was young, but still, wouldn’t Dashi like her privacy? I’d like my privacy. We barely know each other!

“Oh, not like that, this isn't a sleepaway camp. We’re all professional adults, she gets one half and you get the other, there’s a wall in the middle with an Octochute. If you want Dashi to show you how to use it she’ll be happy to, I’m sure.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Captain.”

“I hate to leave you all by yourself, but I have a meeting with Tweak to discuss her latest project. If you need anything just find one of us.”

“Oh, okay.”

He leaves, and then I’m alone. The Octopod must be soundproofed to outside sounds because I can hear nothing but the air system cycling. I pull my phone from my pocket for music, but the battery is dead. Great! And then, I’m not even sure exactly why but I start to cry. I’m an idiot, trapped on a ship with people I don’t know who probably think I’m incompetent and unqualified for a job I didn’t even sign up for. The meeting with Kwazii showed me exactly how much I don’t know. Now here I am, pathetically crying. I miss my family.

There was a cat in my class in primary school, an orange tabby just like First Lieutenant Kwazii. He’d been held back a year so he was taller and bigger than all of us and he was loud too and would always bully the smaller kids and get away with it. I don’t even know why I’m remembering him all of a sudden. I know he and Kwazii aren’t the same, but I’ve never liked loud unpredictable people. They scare me. Maybe that’s why.

And something tells me I’ll be seeing Kwazii in the Medical Bay somewhat often. I’m not sure how to feel about that. I don’t dislike him, of course not, but I feel . . . wary.

Oh well. I won’t allow him or anyone else to interfere with my job. I will prove to myself and them that I can handle myself for a few months. And then it’ll all be over and I’ll get to go home again.

Taking a deep breath, I keep busy by familiarising myself with the workings of the Medical Bay and everything in it. It’s fully stocked with any supplies and equipment I could need so all I brought were clothes. There isn’t much to do, so I resort to cleaning the space that’s probably already sterile, just because it calms me down.

After a while, an announcement comes over the speakers that we’ll be departing for the Mediterranean Sea to aid in the preservation of coral at sunrise tomorrow. 

Before I know it I find myself falling asleep at the work table. Too tired by the day’s events I let myself drift off.

(A/N: Poor Kwazii, he can be kinda scary without meaning to be. He’s just so confused as to why someone wouldn’t want to use the super duper fun octochutes. LOL)

[weemsfreak]

Botany...Of Course, Pt 1

Summary: Peyton is the new Botany teacher at Nevermore. They are a telepath. They find themselves on a trip with Principal Weems. They discover what happened the year before they became a teacher at Nevermore, amongst other things. (Multiple parts)

Tw: None?

Note: This is my first fanfic, I don't know if it's any good! Let me know though. PS. I'm in love with Larissa :) ~2300 words

You were the new Botany teacher at Nevermore. You didn’t hear much of what happened last year, but judging by the fact that nobody wanted to talk about it, it wasn’t good. All you knew is that the botany teacher had died, and Larissa almost did too. Around three months ago, your friend Ren who worked at Nevermore told you to apply for the position as you had just graduated from your teaching degree. You were extremely grateful that Principal Weems had decided to give you a chance. Being 25, you felt really young and immature around other teachers, so you always tried to be incredibly professional and helpful.

One Friday you were walking to your room after classes. As you walked through the main doors to outside, Larissa was coming in. “Oh Peyton, I haven’t seen you this week, how are things?” she chirped when she saw you. She was wearing her green dress and matching coat with black gloves. This was your favourite outfit of hers if you’re being honest. “Hi Principal Weems, things are great! I’m learning a lot and the students are so well behaved.” “Well, so far, but that’s great to hear!” she said in a tone that seemed a bit hopeless, but caught herself. She paused for a moment and looked you up and down. You didn’t know if that was the end of the conversation and you should go? It sounded like she was going to continue. She was still staring at you, a slight smile on her face ,like she was pondering something. You stared back at her, eyes drifting to her outfit. You loved her style and how she was so confident and put together all the time. You envied her, for more reasons than just that. "You know, I don't have any plans for tonight, care to join me for some wine? Or just to talk if you're not into that. 8pm?" she asked you so sure, and batted her eyelashes when she did. You stuttered when you answered, surprised she would want to spend any time with you. "Yes, uh- sure Principal Weems, I would love to!"

You were facing her grand office doors, your phone read 7:50pm. You were trying to pick an outfit and get yourself together all night, you were surprised you weren't late. Confidence and having your crap together wasn't exactly your strong suit. With ten minutes to spare, you went for a walk through the hallway. Looking at some old photos, you noticed Larissa in one, a photo of award winners from 1991. She won a Literary award and a…Botany award? You thought that was the cutest thing ever. Young Larissa, how you would've loved to meet her. You knocked on her door once and when you went to knock again it opened. She stood there, her face lit up. You weren't surprised she was in a good mood, it was a Friday night, "Ah Peyton, come in!" You walked in and stood in the middle of her office as she gestured for you to sit on the sofa in front of the lit fireplace. As you sat, she poured you a glass of wine and took a sip from hers. She passed it to you and sat next to you, crossing her legs, her knee touching yours. She didn't say anything, just looked at you, again. You were usually uncomfortable with people staring at you, but you couldn't say much, you did the same to her. "I really like your dress, it looks stunning on you" you said, sounding nervous but giving her a sincere smile anyway. Ugh, why couldn't you just say 'I like your dress' and leave it at that, she's going to think you're a weirdo. "Why thank you, I did get it made specially for me" she said with a wink. Of course she did you thought, it hugged her perfectly, as it should. You grinned and looked away, trying to hide it. She asked you about your classes and how you felt with this being your first teaching job. Truthfully you loved it. The kids seemed so happy to be here and learn, and you loved teaching. You didn't know if you would when you took your degree, but you're glad you ended up here. "I'm really grateful to you Principal Weems, I think this was the best place for me to start my teaching career" you beamed at her after a couple glasses of wine. "Well good, I'm so glad to hear that."

You wanted to ask her about last year, about what happened and why the botany teacher died. You didn't want to ruin the mood though, or have her thinking about the time she almost died. You could, of course, try to find it in her memories, but only if she would allow you to. "So, do you have anything interesting going on lately?" you asked, genuinely curious. She poured another glass for you and her, and took her time to answer. "I am going to a principals conference in two weeks, it's being held at a very fabulous hotel in Tennessee" she trailed off, looking into the fire. Looking back at you, "I do feel rather lonely going though, usually I wouldn’t mind, but lately I just want someone to share things with, you know?" You did know, you knew all too well. Was this an invitation? Or was she just confiding in a friend? You weren't the best at picking up on hints or social cues. "I'll come with you" you said in a sarcastic tone, looking into the fire. You would go with her, but you didn't know if she wanted that. "What would you do when I go to the conference?" Oh, she was serious. "Well, I've been there before, they have some shops, including coffee and really good pretzels and cinnamon buns, and they have three different conservatories, it's absolutely incredible. I can get some ideas for our conservatory, maybe you can write it off as a work trip." You were surprised with your response, and so was she. You didn't realize how much you would love to go on vacation, especially with Larissa. She thought it adorable how you called it 'our' conservatory. She smirked down into her wine glass for a minute, then at you. "That sounds very convincing Peyton. If you really want to go, I can book your flight. Unfortunately, we would have to share a room. There are no more available, it's always very busy there." Unfortunate, for who you wondered. "Oh, I don’t want to infringe on your trip Principal Weems, I know it would be much more comfortable for you to not have to stay with me." You looked up at her as she moved closer to you, "Nonsense, it will be fun getting to know each other, maybe you can teach me a thing or two…about Botany, of course."

You leave tomorrow. Since Principal Weems proposed you go to Tennessee with her, you have only talked to her about your trip details. You were excited to get away for a few days, but being alone with her for that long scared you. What if she thought you were boring, what if she thought you didn't like having fun, or what if she thought you weren't responsible or professional? You didn't know which was worse. You had a gift, you thought, you had telekinetic abilities. Not very typically though, like feeling emotion or reading peoples thoughts. Yes, you could move things with your mind, but you were more telepathic. You could see a memory in someone's mind if it was a very joyous or very traumatic one. You could erase a memory/knowledge from someone's mind, and you could give someone knowledge as well. If anything went really wrong, Larissa wouldn't remember it, if you had something to do with it. "So, you're going away with the principal. Tsk, tsk Peyton, does she know you're into women?" Ren loved making fun of you over anything you did. You've known each other for so long, you both loved to bat back and forth. "No, she doesn't, and she's not going to Ren...because it's not like that." "Well, I've worked here for years, and she has never asked me on a trip, but whatever you say Peytato." You packed your favorite clothes, some dress pants and nice shirts, a dress and maxi skirt, your favorite penny loafers and platform sandals, and a black two piece in case you went swimming. "Toni, these bras and underwear are frigging old, are you trying to turn her away?" You didn't know how many times you had to say it. "Ren it doesn't matter, nobody is going to see them" you sighed. "Bullshit, we're going shopping so get ready, now!"

As you both arrived to the airport, you were nervous to get on the plane. It had been awhile since you were on one. You thought that it was fun to take off, but the rest of the trip was anxiety ridden and you could never relax, let alone sleep. As you boarded the plane you took your seat and looked out the window. You had booked your ticket after Larissa, so you couldn't get a seat next to her. As a man sat next to you, you became increasingly more nervous. You didn’t like feeling of doing something scary alone, let alone sitting next to a stranger, a man, doing it. Looking around to see where she was sitting, you bit your nails, you couldn't find her. She saw you looking for her with worry on your face and nails in your mouth. She was sat two rows behind you, and would've been so easy to catch if you had just looked back. Putting your head down you fiddled with your ear buds, maybe they would help with the noise. You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the window. A few minutes later you felt someone's hand on yours, and you froze, not wanting to open your eyes. You realized a mans hand wouldn't be this warm, this soft, this- you opened your eyes, red nails. You looked up beside you and Larissa was sitting there, giving you a reassuring smile. "Rissa, this isn't your seat" you beamed at her, being so relieved that you weren't alone. She smiled wider at your use of her nickname, "I know, I asked that man to trade seats. I saw you looking for me. Do you get nervous on planes? Why didn't you tell me?" You didn’t tell her before, you didn't want her to worry about you. "Yes, I just don't like them, they're loud and crammed and I always feel alone. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to bother you, since we didn't have seats together." "Well, we do now love."

You were laid back next to Larissa, chest rising and falling slowly. She watched you sleep, glad that you were no longer nervous. She thought you looked so beautiful and at peace. You later awoke with a jolt and looked around, just turbulence. All of the sudden you were hit with the urge to listen in on peoples conversations, and you found yourself detecting whether they were being truthful with their words. or not. One man sitting behind you, "Yes, I brought the gift for your sister"- lie, a flight attendant, "We don't have any juice left" - lie, a woman in front of you, "My husband is picking me up when we land" - blatant lie. "Ugh, Wednesday Addams will be the death of me" you look to Larissa who is in a huff, totally engrossed in and typing away on her laptop. You didn't know if she was talking to you or if she even meant to say that aloud. You observed her, her nose was scrunched up, her lips were pursed, otherwise she looked perfect. Perfect posture, perfect hair, perfect outfit, perfect jewellery, soft hands with nails painted perfectly -wait. You didn't pay attention to what she really said, you were too caught up in observing her. "Larissa, what did you just say?" Looking at you confused, she tilts her head and tries to recall if she had even said anything. "Oh, I didn't mean to speak aloud, apologies for waking you." You were asleep? "No worries, but what did you say?" Typing away again, you waited for her reply. "I think I said that Wednesday Addams will be the death of me" she said with a chuckle. You stared at her as your heart ached a bit, you didn't detect that as a lie, though you couldn't say it was the truth, you couldn't see into the future. She caught you staring, "Peyton what's wrong?" Nobody knew you could detect lies, as it was something new to you, and it only came on at random. In fact, nobody knew of your telepathic powers, besides the fact that you could control objects with your mind. "Uh, nothing, all good" you said softly with a forced smile. Turning back to the window, Larissa shut her laptop and put her hand back on yours. "You looked so peaceful sleeping, I'm happy you passed some time getting rest." You smiled up at her, her face so sincere, so true were her words. "I never sleep on planes, I guess I must feel safe enough with you that I can relax." She gave your hand a squeeze, "Only 20 more minutes" she said with excitement in her voice. You smiled, relieved to be landing soon. You took a chance and laid your head on her shoulder, hoping to god that she wouldn't reject you. To your surprise, she laid her head on yours and said in a low almost vulnerable tone, "Peyton, thank you for coming with me. This is so much better than being alone."

Link to Pt 2