#I just didn't want to clutter up my blog as I started out

[preciousmermaidgifts]

🐚 check out those side bar links on the pic and below it for rules, verses, etc !

D. she/her. 21+ in this house we stand & love all Ariels. EST 🧭️

𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬. 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐜 too.

I match your writing style! ↴↴

Since this blog has been archived as Gwen for many years, there is many a sample of how I wrote back then (similar to today) but lacks how I vary in matching a partner’s style. I always check a writer’s page to see what their style is before I write a starter or reply. If you have no writing sample up, I default to my standard.

Variations include:

𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝 : 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 & 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐲 **✾, 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 & 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 articles

𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝 : 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐝

[luveline]

Hello! I just want to start off by saying you're an absolutely amazing writer! I've been reading your blog for two years now, I believe, or something very close to it, and I still find myself awestruck by your talent when I check your blog, which is pretty much daily!

If you're up for the prompt and if you're not too swamped with requests, could I ask for a blurb with bombshell reader x Spencer? Maybe reader makes him something really sincere and handmade? Maybe a baked good or a knitted sweater? No special occasion needed, just because he deserves it 😋

Thank you for sharing your works with us! Be well and remember to take breaks! Love you Jade!!

Thank you my love, that is so kind! Love you♡

You feel sleek walking into the office that morning. Fitted clothes steamed and pressed, hair freshly upkept at the salon the previous weekend, nails manicured, smile primly painted, you look perfect. 

But that's not what you're excited about. 

Spencer lounges cross-legged at his desk, a book in his lap, surprisingly broad shoulders hunched as he reads at a more natural pace than usual. His desk is cluttered in organised chaos, books lining the partition that separate his desk from Derek's and Emily's, strange knickknacks scattered. There's a bunch of bright squishy things from Penelope, an upside down umbrella statue lined with hair elastics, and, cutest of all, his two photo frames. One of him holding baby Henry, and one of you. You and him, of course, but mostly you in the frame, closer, smiling like you love him as you angle the camera back in a well meaning and misaligned self portrait. 

You do love him. He hasn't caught on yet, is all. 

"Spencer," you greet, hoping he won't jump. He flinches minutely and lifts his head to yours, closing the book against his hand. "Sorry, I was trying to make it so you didn't jump." 

"My fault." He rubs his eyes. "Just been reading this book for so long it's messing with me." 

The book, of which he's told you about in detail, is about a documentary, which is in turn about a bunch of dark, ever-changing rooms, hallways and tunnels from within a house. The line between what's fiction within fiction blurs, and it's actually pretty scary if he's to be believed. "I've never seen you take so long reading one book, even if it is eight hundred pages," you say teasingly, letting the handle of your handbag slip down your shoulder. 

"The point is suspense," he says, eyes following your fingers where they dive into your bag. "Which needs time to build. What are they?" 

"These are for you, handsome." 

"You already gave me a present," he says quizzically. 

His birthday was a few days ago, and he's right. "These aren't for your birthday, Spence." 

He cracks the lid off of the tupperware on side at a time like he's scared he'll ruin the sweet treats within. You've made him fresh baked shortbread biscuits dipped in dark-chocolate and topped with sparse coconut shavings. 

"What are these?" he asks.

You both know that he knows they're cookies, so you answer the unasked question instead. "I wanted to make them for you. I think you'll like them, they're a little rich but the coconut helps even it out. You don't have to try them now or anything–" 

"Can I?" he asks, lips quirked into a gentle pout. 

"Sure." You hide your nerves as he bites into one, the cookie itself breaking softly, crumbs falling into his waiting hand. "They're messy. Should've warned you." 

He puts the uneaten half back in the tupperware and places it atop his closed book on the desk. He's nodding as he stands, arms quick over your shoulders. You can hear him swallow, his voice mildly hoarse as he says, "They're so nice," he praises, clearing his throat, "I think I swallowed too fast." His laugh warms your ear. "I can't believe you made those. How long did it take you?" 

"Not that long," you say, beaming as he pulls away. "I knew you'd like them." 

"It helps that you made them." He holds your elbow. "I don't know how to say thanks." 

You raise your cheek. "Only if you want." 

He kisses your cheek. You smile like a fool and giggle much the same, reaching around his arms to nab a cookie for yourself. They'd tasted nice last night when you tried them, but they're perfect after Spencer's praise. 

"No one's ever baked something for me before," he admits, the two of you standing much too close considering the setting. "I mean, there really wasn't a reason?" 

"No, Spence. I was watching some TV last night when I started thinking about you, and I recently got that cookbook, you remember? That was one of the dessert recipes. I had to make two batches because I put too much butter in the first try and they spread flat as a nickel." 

He smiles at your misfortune. "What?" you ask. "What's funny about that?" 

"It's not funny. You made me cookies and when they went wrong you made me more. I don't know what I–" His hand flirts with your elbow, index finger moving with a mind of its own, tickling you through your thin blouse. "You're amazing." 

"You make me really happy." You look down at his hand where it draws a line. "It makes me happy to be able to do something for you." 

Spencer can evidently see you turning shy, and he's a sweetheart, so he rescues you from your timidity with a life jacket. "Is there anything you can't do?"

"Not that I've found so far, handsome. Why, did you have something in mind?" 

He makes a big and genuine laugh, grabbing two cookies and forcing one into your hand. "You have to eat your share before Emily gets here." He nudges your hand up with his. "Go on. I'm not in the mood to share with anyone but you." 

[ramp-it-up]

II Most Wanted Part 5: Wherever You Take Me

Pairing: Syverson x OFC Reader "Buttercup"

Summary: The cookout gets hot and dinner with Sy is a revelation. Plus, you get to see his place. 😏

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. S MUT, Fluff, Angst, Reader has PCOS, talk of infertility, talk of war, daydreaming about shower sex, anal play, natural hairstyles, clothes kink if you squint, voice/dirty talk kink, Graphic depiciton of sex. Woman on top, size kink, slight choking, squirting, nipple play, begging, raw p in v, copious amounts of cum. I did not mean to disparage yoga in any way.

Read at your own risk.  Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N:  This is the fifth installment of II Most Wanted. I'm in love with these two; they are bringing my writer heart back to life. If you like it, please reblog and comment.

I don't have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Previous part here

———-

To say Sy had you shook was an understatement. You woke up expecting to find him there, but then you remembered saying a groggy ‘goodbye’ to him almost as soon as you hit the bed after the workout he gave you in the shower. 

You lay in bed as your anxiety spiked and wondered if he took that as a dismissal. You hoped that he didn't think that you didn’t want him around. But you didn’t want him to think that you were going to just fall into his arms.

You just didn’t know what to do with these old/new crazy feelings for Sy. How well did you really know him? You knew the kid from 20 years ago, but he broke your heart. How careful would grown ass man Sy be with your love? And would he still want you if he knew the entire truth?

You decided to relax and stretch and clear your mind of all the clutter. Yes, yoga was the perfect antidote to Jacob Syverson.

—---

Yoga failed you miserably.

You found yourself checking for Sy as soon as you arrived at the cookout. You socialized as you lowkey searched for him at the function, and when you realized he wasn’t there yet, you inhaled a whiff of the shirt you were wearing for the dopamine hits. It was his dress shirt from the night before that you tore off of him and that you were wearing over your tube top and jean shorts. You couldn’t help it if he left it there and it was the perfect complement for your outfit.

It was well past noon and he hadn’t arrived. You chewed your lip and let anxiety in again. You avoided questions from Carla and Tiffani about what happened, and your mind drifted to how he’d handled you last night. 

Sy’s soapy hands were all over you, pulling on your wet nipples, grabbing your wet hair as his mouth attacked your neck, and sliding over your body under the hot stream of water. He was a quick study, and at the point of your fifth orgasm, it felt as if he knew your body better than you. 

And you let him take possession. 

His slippery fingers toyed with and penetrated your ass as he fucked you senseless against the wet tile, ramming his thick cock inside you again and again as you begged for more. You came again, harder than you ever had, and afterward your energy drained out of you just like his cum streaming down your legs. He had to dry you off and carry you to bed, all the while leaving sweet kisses all over you.

You’d never felt so…loved...and in trouble.

As soon as your towel covered head hit the pillow, you were out like a light. You didn’t see Sy’s look of adoration, didn’t feel the kiss on the forehead that he gave you as he whispered “Sweet dreams,” and his chest puffed out with pride at having put you to sleep, a cocky smirk on his face as he let himself out and strode toward the Bronco. You were snoring softly.

You were busy reliving the experience of the night before, relishing the slight soreness of your body as Carla and Tiffani chattered around you. You weren’t really present until fingers started snapping in front of your face.

“Come back to earth…”

“Oh shit,” you giggled, “sorry, Carla. What were you saying?”

Both of your besties laughed at you.

“Umm hmm. Yeah. Well you answered the question without answering it. That dreamy look on your face says it all.”

You just smiled, rolled your eyes and sipped your cider.

“I’m just chilling. Sy and I had a good talk, and a good time last night. We buried the hatchet.”

Carla and Tiffani exchanged looks.

“I bet you did. I bet you buried it hard. And deep.”

You scoffed at them both, but Carla was unswayed. 

“Tell us, Buttercup. Exactly what size hatchet does Jacob Syverson carry?”

You shook your head and took another drink, rolling at your friends’ ridiculousness.

”Well, if you don’t want to give the details about Sy’s dick, you’ve got to tell us the story of that hair.” 

Carla nodded toward your thick cornrows.

“Did Sy mess it up so badly that you had to detangle in the shower, or did you get tangled up with Sy in the shower?”

Your cheeks heated as you took another swig and scanned the park to avoid answering your intuitive friends. And when you saw the Bronco, you almost choked.

You put your beverage down and straightened up, patting your head. Sy had arrived.

“Does it look alright?”

“It looks dope,” Tiffani looked around to see Betty Bronco pulling into a parking spot.

“Oh shit, she is sprung. This is gonna be good.”

Their teasing faded into the background as you watched Sy unfold out of Betty Bronco and were reminded of the night before as he ran his hand over his beard. That beard. How wet that beard got last night. Both in and out of the shower… 

You took in the vision of this man who indeed had you sprung after one night. You sighed when you saw him come toward you. Although he was dressed simply, a dark grey t-shirt and jeans, he looked like the best thing you’d seen in ages.

Damn, he was hot. Or was it that you’d just spent too much time in the sun? He strode toward you and the way his body moved was dangerous. You felt that you would hit your knees with the slighted signal from him. 

Sy was indeed hot. And you may have also had sunstroke. Both things could be true. What else would explain the way your heart was beating and the weird feeling in your stomach?

Yes. Sunstroke it was. And lust. And nothing else.

Your friends’ laughter pierced your reverie and you got up to meet him before he reached the group.

—------

Sy got home that morning and fell into his bed, daydreaming of having you in it. It was 4 am, and he fully intended on sleeping just a few hours, then waking up and sending you a good morning text.

Soon he was dead to the world.

The next thing he knew, it was 11:30, too late for a morning text. He would just have to greet you in person at the cookout. He got out of bed to get ready, taking extra time with his hair and beard. He hadn’t cared this much about how he looked since high school. He hadn’t cared this much about anything since you. He wanted to be the one that you wanted. If it was a quarter of the way he wanted you, he’d be a lucky man.

Plans rolled around in his head as he rolled toward you in Betty Bronco, but also uncertainty. Was this just a trip down memory lane for you? Just a whim of a weekend, a chance to experience everything you didn’t 20 years ago? 

Whatever this was, he wasn’t going to waste any time. 

When Sy pulled up at the event almost an hour late, lo and behold, there you were. His eyes fell on you, a vision in his white shirt, your lips wrapped around what looked like a beer bottle. Your hair was different. Sexy. But then again, every look was sexy on you it seemed.

“Well, ain’t that a daisy.”

His heart did a thing and he took a beat, trying to be cool. Sy thanked his lucky stars before he got out of the Bronco, his destination not even a question.

—--

You met him under a live oak tree, a few feet from the picnic tables. Carla and Tiffany and a couple of other people called hello to him, but he just nodded and waved at them as he focused on you.

You in his shirt was one thing, but the tube top and shorts you were wearing, he felt as if he hit the jackpot as his eyes feasted on your curves. He licked his lips as if to recall the taste of some of them.

You stood there as Sy’s eyes roamed your body possessively, and although it was 82 degrees, you shivered. Maybe you were getting the flu.

“Hullo there, Buttercup.”

Sy beamed down at you and you screamed at him in your mind as you flushed hot again. ‘Where have you been!? Why did you leave!?’

But instead you just said, “Hello, Sy.”

You grinned back up at him, suddenly okay. More than okay. Sy’s attention was a powerful drug and you’d forgotten that you were an addict. You wanted it all the time. 

“‘D’you sleep well?”

You bit your lip and grinned again as you played with the collar of the shirt you were wearing. Sy could glimpse a hickey that he’d put on your collarbone and he felt the urge to take you behind the tree and give you more. You had some powerful magic.

“Yes. Very.”

He took off his sunglasses then and stepped closer to you. His smile was contagious.

“I’m glad. You were knocked out when I left. Seemed tired.”

Your smile dropped as you chewed your lip.

“Yeah, about that. I didn’t mean to kick you out.”

Sy shifted his stance closer to you.

“You didn’t kick me out, Buttercup. You were exhausted. I said I was going to give you space.”

“You did?”

You stared at him, wide eyed. He chuckled.

“You don’t remember that, do you?”

You sighed in relief and looked at the ground, cheeks heated.

“No.”

Your voice was small and Sy’s heart lurched, He had hope. Maybe you did have feelings for him other than lust if you thought you’d hurt his. He reached for your hand, just your fingers really, and caressed them softly. He smiled at you when you looked up at him again.

“It’s okay, Buttercup. Really. I got some rest. And If I’d stayed, I have a feeling that we would still be in bed right now.”

The deep timbre of his voice and the affirmation of what you already knew had you shook, imagining a morning in bed with Sy. You went silent, staring up at him with those eyes. His cock stirred. Shit, you were so hot when you went lust-mute. He cleared his throat.

“I like your hair.”

Sy nodded at you.

“Thanks. Got a little wet last night, had to do something…”

Sy smiled at the shower memories.

“Looks great. Like your outfit, too.”

He adjusted the collar of the shirt you were weating, eyes sweeping down your form to get a look at you underneath it. He knew that all he had to do was hook his finger in your tube top and your breasts would spill out. He licked his lips as he regarded you, eyes shining with need when he looked back up into your eyes.

Your mouth opened as if for air as you stood stock still, like a deer caught in headlights. You wanted the same things he did. Damn. You were dickmatized.

“I can see what you’re thinking, Buttercup. But everyone is watching us.”

You huffed out a breath, moved closer, grabbing his t-shirt to bring him down for a kiss. You heard some people murmur and your friends high five and laugh behind you.

Sy felt triumphant. He grabbed your waist and kissed you back. Thoroughly. Then you pulled back, out of breath.

“You’re right. Everyone is watching.”

Sy brought his hand up to the back of your head and looked into your eyes.

“I don’t give a fuck.”

The gruff whisper went straight to your cunt as he pulled you back in for another kiss. 

He finally pulled away and you were still holding on to the stainless steel chain of his dog tags. You looked up at him, ready to ditch the cookout on a word from him.

“Didn’t you get enough last night?”

You were posing the question to yourself, as well as Sy.

Sy inhaled oxygen, because he was drowning in your vibe right now. He grunted.

“Hm. I thought you understood, Buttercup. I will never get enough.”

Another kiss. You whimpered and he just knew that you were wet for him.

“I just want to haul you in the back of Betty right now, but we’re gonna do this thing today. Tonight we’ll go out for dinner, right?”

You nodded, licking your lips as he released your waist and took your hand, leading you back to the table.

—---

You all were sitting around the table playing cards a couple of hours later with your old friend group when someone pointed at Sy’s arms.

“What happened to you, Sy? Did you get attacked by a wild animal?”

Sy looked down at the scratches you left on him with pride, smirked and started to answer, ignoring the look from you.

“Well… Sorta. Kinda. You know I like to live dangerously.”

The wink he threw the questioner was for you, however, and you knew it.

“Sy, you’re too much!”

“Funny thing. Someone said that to me recently.”

You tugged on Sy’s hand.

“Excuse us for a minute, please.”

You gave them your best dignified smile, even though you hot. Sy was chuckling as he followed you back to the live oak tree out of earshot of the group. All they could see was that he was laughing now and everyone could tell that you were giving him the business.

Your friends watched you two and smiled.

Sy put his hands up and nodded, still laughing. You turned away from him, but he grabbed your hand as you tried to walk away. You turned around, annoyed, but then he pointed to his lips, suddenly serious. You gazed at them, smiled and then reached up to kiss him, then pulled away and flipped him off. He laughed again.

"Promise?"  Sy called after you. 

You flipped him off again but grinned as you rejoined the table and Sy went to get more beer. 

“So, when’s the wedding?”

“Shut the fuck up, Carla!”

—---

You let Sy pick you up that evening, and the mood was subdued. He complimented your dress and kissed you on the cheek, careful of your makeup, which you’d carefully applied. Your hair was curly again, the braid-out giving you the look that you wanted. You were quiet as you looked out of the window.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Buttercup.”

You looked at him, anxiety written all over your face.

“Today was a lot.”

Sy looked back at you.

“Today was fun.”

You sighed.

“It was. A lot of fun hanging with our friends. It was like we were a couple. Carla asked… Well, I think people think we’re a thing. They expect us to…”

Sy understood. You were spooked.

“I see. Well, if you want to know, Buttercup, in my head we are a thing, but I know you aren’t there yet. I know you’re scared.”

“I’m not…!”

“It’s okay to be scared. We’ve been through a lot. Name it for what it is. I am not into bullshitting. Especially with someone I love.”

That sentence shut your mouth.

“And I don’t give a fuck what people expect us to do. I want to enjoy any time you grace me with. We’ve wasted enough time already.”

Sy picked up your hand from the leather seat and brought the back of it to his mouth. The tender kiss went straight to your soul.

“Just be here now. I mean, we can talk about the past, or the future if you want. But let’s take it one step at a time.”

You smiled at him as he pulled you closer to him and as he kissed up your arm.

“Okay.”

Somehow, you wound up with your head on his shoulder as you drove to the restaurant.

—--

The restaurant was nice, Meyers on the River, and it was a great atmosphere as you and Sy ate on the deck overlooking the lake. You chatted, filling in some of the blank spaces of your lives.

You asked a question that had been nagging you as you ate your salmon.

“Did you- did you go all in during the war? Did you agree with all of that? I mean, almost 20 years Sy. I feel like you had to have a certain kind of mindset to do that.”

Sy shook his head, leaned back, and sighed.

“It was a job. With good benefits. And my family had been enlisted, my uncle Mike. I went and after I found out about Jeremiah, I just dedicated myself to my job over there. I channeled the feelings that I had in order to prepare myself to be a father to being a leader. My men were under my care. It was hell. Hot, sweaty, full of hate. So I became Syverson, the asshole Captain who got the job done. I survived.”

Sy shrugged and toyed with his napkin. 

“There were problems to be solved. And most of the time we solved them.”

You took in what he said and saw there was something deeper there.

“I’m glad that you are back home now.”

He smiled at you.

“Me too. Everything happens for a reason, Buttercup.”

You smiled back and thought about what he said. He was right.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

You sat back in your chair, trying to prepare yourself.

“How do you feel about never having kids? I know about your losses, and you don’t have to talk about it….”

This was part of the reason why you were so hesitant with this relationship. You took a deep breath and decided to name it.

“No. We need to talk about it. It might change your mind about me… us…

You fiddled with your fingers in your lap.

“Doubt that.”

“Just wait until I’m done, Sy.”

“Okay.”

“I have PCOS, Sy. It’s a condition that makes it very hard to get or stay pregnant. I’ve been through surgeries and meds, natural methods. The stress of my relationship also didn't help me to have healthy pregnancies. We were going to do in-vitro, but when I found out about the second mistress, I was done. Scott and I divorced and I was content to be by myself. The condition can be progressive. It’s why I take the pill everyday.”

You looked into Sy’s eyes.

“I don’t know if I will ever be able to have a baby. And I’m certainly not getting any younger.”

“I’m sorry, all that has happened to you Buttercup. But none of this changes a thing about how I feel about you or us. I still want you. I still kinda feel like forever with you.”

Sy had your hand across the table now and watched as the smile spread across your face. Something shifted inside you. Sy knew everything and he still wanted you. Maybe this could be a thing. You wanted to say so much, but instead, you just nodded at his plate.

“Finish your steak.”

Sy grinned at you.

“Yes, ma’am.”

The conversation different, lighter after that. The chef came out and you spoke, then he comped your meal.

“I will never thank you enough for helping this place to happen Mr. Syverson.”

You looked at Sy quizzically.

“We solved that problem, didn’t we Ben?”

“Yes! Come back and bring your beautiful lady any time!”

“Will do, Ben. Will do.”

Sy stood up and shook his hand, then left what he would have spent on dinner as a tip. You walked out hand in hand as you looked at his profile. 

“I haven’t told you about my business. I used my payout from retirement and my injury to start a construction company. Captain Construction. We make a pretty good living. And we help folks out when we can.”

You scooted closer to him on the seat.

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“I don’t know. I feel like you are in my soul though, so…”

You gave Sy a peck on the lips, and he chased you for more.

“Want me to take you back to your place? Or would you like to see my house? Built it myself.”

You looked up in the air, as if it were even a choice.

“I want to see your house. You’ve got me curious.”

Sy grinned and started the truck. Then he shook his head and turned it off again.

“Ok, no bullshitting. If I take you to my place, I’m not gonna wanna take you back until daylight tomorrow. And maybe not even then.”

“I’ll go wherever you take me, Sy.”

—-

“Please Buttercup. I’m just a mere mortal. I can’t take this.”

You loved the way his voice broke and how Sy’s eyes were glued to your body, your glowing skin, your breasts swaying with each movement, your hand which was clutching him between your luscious thighs, which were on either side of his pelvis. You were pumping his engorged and weeping cock, teasing him, and yourself, by bouncing on just the tip, your small fist preventing full penetration. 

Sy’s hands were grasping the steel bars of his headboard, stuck there by the promise he made you when you began the end of his house tour. It was a beautiful home, and now you were about to fuck his beautiful cock.

But you were testing his patience. His knuckles were white, and his biceps and pecs were flexed, forearms straining to hold back. His abs were tensed and he was gritting his teeth as he tried to respect your request, but he didn’t know that his struggle was the sexiest part.

“Hmmmm. I think this feels as good to you as it does to me, Sy.”

Sy looked to where you were connected, silently willing you to let him enter you fully. He growled.

“Please, it can feel so much better. Fuck me, Buttecup. I’m yours.”

You keened as you worked yourself open on him.

“Loot at me baby. Please. Need to see your pretty little fucked out face.”

You moaned and did as he asked. You spoke with him, halfway incoherent with pleasure as you slid down his cock.

“So, fucking hugeee. I love this big dick, Sy.”

Sy groaned as you clenched around him.

“It’s yours.”

He licked his lips as he gazed at you opening up for him. Your slick cunt clenching his cock was the most beautiful thing in the world. 

“I love that tight little pussy. Is it mine?”

You reached up and grabbed his shoulders as you adjusted to his size again. You looked into his dilated eyes and gave him a kiss in response.

“Shit is so fucking big. Ah.”

Sy was quivering beneath you, still holding back from going crazy on you. While he wanted to fuck you silly, he also wanted to savor this slow sensuality with you.

“Feels amazing,” you stared down into his blazing blue eyes as you slowly circled your hips.

“Yes, it does. Holy shit it does..”

You leaned down, kissed him and started moving. Sy watched your breasts as you arched backwards and he planted his feet to fuck up into you better.

“Oh! Sy! Feel so full. So good.”

Sy growled and let the bed go, causing a grin at his loss of control. He wrapped his arms around you and held you in place as his hips moved at the devil's pace. The sound of his dick breaching your wet pussy was everything. Skin slapping on skin was the music of your heartbeats at the moment. Sy’s hand found your clit and traced wicked circles there as he pounded you out, making your eyes spark as if with stars. 

“F-f-f- u-u-u-ck! I’m- I’m coming!”

It was embarrassing how quickly he had you there.

“Give me that shit, Buttercup.”

He stroked you through your peak as you gushed around him.

“Fuck. Got my balls dripping with you. This is my dream come true baby. Gimme more.”

He sat up, grabbing your ribcage and moving you up and down his now even slicker, impossibly bigger, cock.

“Shhitttt you feel so good!”

Sy looked down and then up at the ceiling, eyes rolling at the sight. He was about to cum. He manhandled you like a rag doll so that he could kiss you. Hard.

“You are hotter than the desert, Buttercup.”

Your hands moved up his abs to his pecs, rubbing your palms on his nipples as he growled and reached for you. He pulled on your sweaty breasts until your nipples remained pinched between his fingers.

“Ahhhhhh, Sy!” 

You moaned and rolled your hips as he pulled on your sensitive nubs.

“Love your fucking sounds, Buttercup.”

His hand was sliding up the column of your throat now, manhandling you in the way you’d come to love in such a short time. You moaned and Sy felt the vibrations of your voice box on his palm.

“You are so goddamn pretty when you are impaled on my cock. Can’t get enough of you.”

Sy leaned back on one arm so that he could pound you the way he wanted. 

“Fuck, want my cum, Buttercup?”

You were circling your own clit and squeezing your breasts at the same time. 

“God, yes, Sy. Give it to me!”

“Here it comes, godamn….!”

You felt his ropes of cum spurt against your cervix as he came forcefully inside you. Sy looked down to see it and your own juices eek out of you as he kept pulsling inside you.

“It’s like it’s never gonna end, fuck! Got so much for you Buttercup.”

You reached down and played in your combined slick as he pulsed again, bringing your fingers up to taste as Sy finally finished coming.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that right?”

You grinned and kissed him, as you collapsed on the bed reveling in your wet, sweaty bodies as he held you close. You wriggled out of his grip.

“Time for a shower, Sy.”

You smiled as you walked into his en suite, seeing him hot on your heels.

“Damn if I don’t die a happy man.”

You laughed at Sy as he got your hair wet again.

------

Hit Reblog if you like it!

Next part here

[ingravinoveritas]

Feeling really normal about Georgia calling Michael "the boyfriend of my husband"

Okay, so...wow. Definitely a lot to unpack today, but first let me wish our own Welsh seduction machine the happiest of birthdays. Happy Birthday, Michael! 🎉🎂

So, there have been a few posts since last night, and my thanks to @moriarty-sisters for including the above screenshots. Posting some larger ones so we can take a better look, starting with AL's post:

And then we have Georgia's from this morning:

(Standard disclaimer that what follows here is only my opinion/observations, and does not mean that I am completely right. As I've said before, if I am wrong, I am more than happy to acknowledge that.)

It appears that a party was held in Michael's honor last night, and David and Georgia were in attendance. There has been some confusion about the pictures because Michael's hair length/facial hair are different in the group photo vs. the party photos, so to your Ask @kime11e (which I did not include here just to keep this less cluttered), I think that the group photo is not actually from last night (which then makes me wonder why Georgia didn't post one from last night, but more on that in a minute).

So, of course the first thing that stands out about all of this is Georgia calling Michael David's "boyfriend." As I've mentioned previously, Georgia has been calling Michael David's "other wife" since the end of 2021. (David has also called Michael his wife in other contexts, which was confirmed by Rob Wilkins.) "Boyfriend," however, is new. And in this instance, "boyfriend" feels very deliberate. While I don't think it's possible to say that this confirms what the exact dynamic between them is, what I think is confirmed is that something about that dynamic has changed.

But let me go back for a moment and talk about AL and Georgia's posts and the differences between them. In Anna's post, I was particularly struck by the difference in Michael between the picture of him and AL vs. the picture of him with the cake. The disconnect to me is so strong that it's like looking at two different people--the real Michael (cake picture) vs. the version of himself Michael becomes in every picture with her, as if he is playing a role. There is no light in eyes, no trademark twinkle that we so often see--he's just muted, somehow. And Anna again is so wrapped up in showing him off and making sure that she looks good in the picture that she doesn't seem to care how Michael looks.

I do want to note that I would not even be saying this were it not for the fact that this is the...third?...picture he's taken with her in the last month and a half where he looks like this (and noticeably only in pictures with her):

I've mentioned this previously on my blog, but even if Michael is doing a "bit," he is choosing to look this way in pictures with Anna. Seeing the response to Georgia's post today, however, I almost wonder if it's because they know the fans will never take anything the four of them do seriously, to where AL could say (just as an example) "Michael and I hate each other," and the fans would eat it up and say how funny they are. So in that sense, I could see them deciding to stop pretending entirely and for Michael to let his true feelings out because it's easier to hide in plain sight. I don't know for certain that is the case, but I also don't know how else to explain AL seemingly having no problem with her partner looking like this in multiple pictures with her.

Going back to today's birthday posts, aside from the pictures, I was also perplexed by Anna's caption on her post. It's so over the top in some ways, but somehow not enough at the same time. Again, this would have been an opportunity to say what a great father Michael is, or how he's such a wonderful person, but instead, Anna's caption focuses on how great she is for being willing to throw confetti on the floor, and to celebrate Michael's birthday even though it's apparently an inconvenience. It comes across as self-involved and self-serving, which is further augmented by this tweet of Anna's from earlier bragging about how great she is for the birthday present she got for Michael. All of this taken together, I think what bothers me is how it feels more like Anna is promoting herself than Michael, and that she saw his birthday less as a special occasion and more as a PR opportunity.

Looking at Georgia's post, what stood out to me (apart from the caption, that is) is the picture. Something I have noticed is that Anna seems to always have that tight, pained smile on when anyone other than her is taking the picture. I think Georgia knows enough about "bits" and narratives to know how to set things up, and it's interesting to me that when she does, Anna sort of looks out of place, even unintentionally. Then we have Michael and David, who are beaming in this group picture, and Michael in particular has a huge smile on his face, as he often seems to whenever David is near. And again, for me it's the massive contrast between Michael's expression in that group picture vs. in pictures with AL, as well as the contrast between Georgia and AL's expressions vs. Michael's and David's. What also stood out is what wasn't posted: A picture of Michael and David together.

Which brings me back to my earlier point about the dynamic between the four of them, and to @phantomstars24's comments. I think what's most noticeable to me is that, contrary to what I have also seen some folks say today, this is not "Oops, we're all dating" or a continued joke about them being a polycule (at least not in the way that many fans are assuming). Because in all of this, not once has there ever been a comment or joke about David/Anna or Michael/Georgia. (Heck, Anna doesn't even post a word about David on social media unless it's a reshared post from Georgia or official promo/behind the scenes photos.) So the contrast between what is available for public consumption (group photos, Michael/AL photos) and what isn't (Michael/David candid photos) is very curious.

With that in mind, what this this feels like is a shifting of a preexisting narrative as a form of damage control. Because, as we remember, Georgia has been calling Michael David's "other wife" since 2021, so why didn't she start the "flirting" with Anna at that same time? Or even in 2020, when the first season of Staged happened? Why wait until four years later, especially when she had ample opportunity to do this well before now? Perhaps we will never know why, but if I had to guess, I would say Georgia didn't have a need or reason to do it until now. And as the saying goes, the best place to hide the truth is between two jokes. "Anna is my wife." / "Michael is David's boyfriend." / "Georgia is my wife." Hiding in plain sight, while also taking the heat off of Michael and David.

Again, I realize everyone has different interpretations of this, and I am not going to tell anyone that their interpretation is wrong, or that they have to agree with me. But for me (and I would guess for many others), shipping Michael and David did not start with Georgia calling Michael David's "boyfriend." There is no way that that statement alone would cause such a reaction, but rather the cumulative effect of everything that has happened since 2018, including Michael and David flirting and adoring and eyefucking each other in countless interviews and appearances and much more, long before Georgia ever said a word about it on social media. Now that she has, however, it would seem almost foolhardy to discount the possible reasons why, and in my opinion, I can't see why it wouldn't be as likely that it's because Michael and David are lovers as it is because they are good friends.

So yes, those are my thoughts on today's events. Glad as always to hear from my followers and see what you think of these latest developments. Thanks for writing in! x

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

how do Julius and Jason flirt with someone they are interested in making their s/o? Separate of course. What are their strong points? Weak points? Shy or confident? Awkward or sweet talker? Observe you from a far too learn all your interests or just take you on a once in a life fairy tale date and hope it works? Kiss on the first date or wait? Things like this!

You are my favorite blog!🖤

Aw, thank you friend! It feels so good to be people's favorite!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julius The Dressmaker

Julius is a very interesting person when it comes to dating

Usually he will just try to be himself, but if he picks up on something you find attractive, he will adapt to fit that standard for you

He is very confident when it comes to making someone his s/o

If he wants something, he will do everything in his power to get it

Something that does change from person to person is dependent on whether you are more masc presenting or more fem presenting

If you are fem presenting, he will try to be "manly" for you. He will still be himself, but he will just kind of "masculinize" certain features of himself

If you are masc presenting, he will be more soft and "feminine". Again he will still be himself, just sort of accentuating his feminine features

If you are androgynous he will probably just do whatever he thinks you will like better

He tries to be super smooth with his sweet talking, but most of it just comes out as "sweet" rather than "smooth"

Which is still fine, just not exactly what he wanted

Honestly he probably won't bother to learn much about you other than a few likes and dislikes of yours, he wants it to be a surprise for him when you two are dating

So chances are, he will instead just build up a friendship with you (by friendship I mean very flirty acquaintances), and then ask you out randomly and hopes it works

You could literally just be walking in the hallway and he will ask lol

He isn't much of a "special date" guy, so he'll likely just take you out on something where you two can be alone

An empty movie theatre, shopping, eating at a restaurant, etc

During this time, he will try a little harder to pick up on your likes and dislikes, as well as what you think of him

When it comes to the idea of having a first kiss on the first date, he is of the mind that whatever happens happens

If the opportunity presents itself, he will of course take it

But if you aren't comfortable doing that quite yet, or if he can't get a read on how well you like him, then he won't

He is very go with the flow when it comes to the date itself, it is just sort of whatever you wanna do

If the date goes well, he will ask you on another

and another

and another

Until maybe your 4th or 5th date, then he will ask if you like him enough to become his partner or if you need more time

He is sort of impatient though, so don't drag him along too long or he might lose interest

Jason The Toymaker

Jason is a very "traditional" lover if that makes sense

He is very romantic in every sense of the word, and will make sure he woos you to the best of his ability

He learns almost all of your interests, likes and dislikes, both from observing you from afar and talking to you

Once he knows your interests, he will slowly start building a relationship with you

He isn't very flirty, as it just doesn't suit him

He isn't necessarily shy, moreso bashful

He will shyly offer you small gifts, muttering some excuse about how he was just clearing out some clutter and definitely didn't make something just for you

Speaking of gifts, a lot of his gifts are handmade

He thinks that gifts have more value if they are made specifically for someone

When it comes to asking you on a date, he will kind of take a leap of faith

He will set up a romantic picnic in the garden, set to be taken place at night with some candles for the lighting

He will set it up with your favorite foods and drinks and maybe some of your favorite music

He will ask that you allow him to lead you with your eyes closed

He will place his hands over your eyes and lead you to his little spot, and when you arrive he will uncover your eyes with a "tada!"

He will continue standing behind you, observing your reaction

Assuming you take it well, he will then move to stand in front of you, taking your hands and proclaiming his love for you

Not in an overbearing stalker way, but in a sweet, thought out way

And then you will feast on the foods, talking and laughing the night away

After this, he kind of just assumes that you are romantic partners

BUT he refuses to make any advances (such as your first kiss) until he is sure you are completely comfortable

He also waits for a while because he isn't quite comfortable himself

He isn't terribly used to physical affection, and it will take him a while to accept the idea of kissing

He is fine holding hands and maybe some light affections like pressing your foreheads together, but other than that, he will want to wait

Just be patient with him because I promise you, it will pay off

[datrb]

afternoon boss

I got a few questions regarding your CG designs (get as nitty gritty and as detailed as you want lmao)

Firstly i notice you use a lot of turtleneck (or turtleneck-like) designs when it comes to clothes for the CG. Any particular reason why? or do you just have a preference for turtlenecks?

Second off, p e l o

When it comes to designing characters I'm a bit of a hair nutjob and i like to believe that hair reflects the personality of a person. Obviously, the colored streaks in their hair are a given, but besides from those, is there any reason you picked the hairstyles you did for the CG? Anything based on personality or purely for aesthetics?

(also ig this is a follow up question but do you ever plan on doing summer clothes for the gang what with the season coming up?)

CG hair headcannons

Oh, Anon, you have no idea what you have brought upon yourself... I swear, when it comes to the designs i become the ultimate yap lord, so brace yourself.

I'll cut this post right here because my blog is already cluttered enough with my yapping.

Okay. First things first, the turtlenecks... Imma be entirely honest, i didn't even notice it myself until you pointed this out, but yeah. They indeed do almost all have some type of a turtleneck or turtleneck adjacent thing as the base layer.

I don't have an actual reason aside, maybe, the fact that turtleneck is really a no-brainer type of base layer and, well, i do actually wear then quite a lot irl, so that might play a role as well. (Hell, i am literally wearing one as i am writing this post)

HOWEVER, among them there is one who has a proper reason for that to be a part of his design. That character being Second. More observant probably would've already noticed and heard me mention it, but all mainline hollowheads have this zip-up type of thing as their base layer. Victim, Chosen and Second all have this same exact thing. Only difference being the sleeves or lack there of. That one's intentional. Others... I was just a bit lazy and, well, i will probably change those since i am working on doing some changes to their designs.

But yeah the HAIR hehehehe, oh i can detail their hair routine down to the amount of product they use, so you better get yourself somethin' to eat, because we're here for a while.

But before we dive into it, i wanna note that the coloured streaks aren't "a given" if i wanted, i could've gotten along perfectly fine without them at all. But i actually made a set of "rules" for designs in my interpretation. And one of those rules dubs "Every stick has at least one streak of hair of their respective colour. Rest of the hair can be any colour." This applies to literally all of my designs. King, Victim, Dark, even mercenaries. It's a rule that i cannot break.

Also, i will touch on other characters as well because, well, i finally got a chance to and at least King is an especially interesting case in that regard.

I'll do in a list format because it'll just be easier.

TSC (Second) - Second has very soft and FLUFFY hair. It's straight, rather thin, but very fluffy. There honesty is no proper reason behind his hairstyle other than "general vibes" and "what hairstyle would give off an early teen vibe?".

Red - Red's hair is a bit wavy, but it's practically unnoticeable, it's rather soft, but doesn't seem like it due to it being rather thick. I gave him this little ponytail, because i wanted to incorporate the yellow team's headband into his design, but thought putting it on the head would be too basic, so why the hell not. Also, this ponytail helps balance the "animal lover" and "highschool football team" vibes.

Yellow(why does Tumblr not have yellow colour for text??) - Yellow has hard, thick and almost uncontrollable hair. No wonder the moment he got the goggles he started using them as a hair band to keep it at least somewhat in check. For Yellow i tried to go for a "math student" vibe, but it eventually turned to the more "that one engineer that built a time machine in his garage" type of thing. Oh and also by doing that i was trying to avoid the "karen" hair he had originally. I still can't look at his old ref sheet with a straight face.

Green - Green most definitely straightens his hair and styles it a versy specific way. You cannot convince me otherwise. His hair is thick and almost curly, but it's also very soft. For his hairstyle i wanted to give him more of a DJ vibe, which would bean some crazy hairstyle. This one seemed like a good blend of something a stereotypical "speedster" character would have as well as something you would see at a 2010's rave party.

Blue - Blue has thick, almost curly hair that likely really doesn't like to be styled at all. It just has a mind of its own and you can't tell it what to do. Pretty much like Yellow's, honestly, except here you have curls and not just a paintbrush. Blue's hairstyle came from my wish to give his otherwise almost cottagecore type design this little sprinkle of madness. And what's better way than to give him uncontrollable curls, am i right?

Purple - Purple has curls. His hair is soft, a bit fluffy and rather thick. Purple having long hair is widely accepted that it's basically fanon at this point, i don't think i need to explain my decisions here. I do think that he has an undercut tho, because i believe him to have A LOT of hair. And, speaking from experience, it gets very hot.

King - King i believe to have rather thin, soft and perfectly straigh hair that would not be able to hold shape if you tried. I decided to give him long hair because i HC his wife to be dead, so it would make sense for him to start growing it out as a way to remember her (he literally wears it the same way she used to. At least after the redemtion. Before that it's too messy). Also, i believe his hair to have lost a fair share of colour due to stress, making it almost grey.

TCO(Chosen) - Chosen has the same hair type as Second BUT his is not as fluffy because it's not as well-maintained. They also share hairstyles, except Chosen's longer, as he didn't really have much options in terms of how to cut it. This one was intentional and while designing Chosen i unironically only had one directive: "Make Second, but old and edgy." I think i delivered.

Victim - I already mentioned that Victim's entire appearance was heavily influenced by my friend who suggested him looking like a ninja in the first place, and that also applied to his hair. Although, now i stepped away from it, but one can never go wrong with a "slick, sassy and extremely cunning villain". Victim's hair silky smooth and is extremely soft. And much like his workers, basically never goes out of line.

TDL(Dark) - I believe Dark to actually have quite hard but rather thin hair. It's very spiky when not tended to. He actually has the most hairstyles among all of my designs, standing toe to toe with King, for whom i have 4 hairstyle designs. His AvA5 appearance (the most commonly drawn slick back) actually came from the most stereotypical cartoon-ish villains. The design i ended up giving him was not intended as Dark it was just a random sassy looking character i drew as practice while working on overall artstyle for my human designs. But then i looked at him, made a few minor adjustments and there he was.

So yeah. I believe that's the most important ones. Lemme know if you wanna hear more, i'll make sure to also provide examples next time, because i am actually writing this on the go, so i don't really have access to my laptop.

I actually thought very little about WHY they would wear a certain hairstyle other than "it fits their vibe" which imo is usually the exact way people go about their hair, so it does kinda fit. (At least that's the way i go about my hair...)

[dameronology]

can i please request love confessions prompt 1 for poe 🫶🫶

i have not written for poe in so LONG (despite my blog name lol) and i miss him

poe + they're drunk and you're carrying them to their room, when they unexpectedly say how much they love you, causing you to drop them on the floor (x)

Poe Dameron was lively at the best of times.

Poe Dameron drunk was just regular Poe Dameron amplified.

Trying to drag the pilot to his room - with the entirety of his body weight resting on you, legs basically a dead weight - was a challenge. It was made even harder by the fact you were trying to avoid waking the rest of the Resistance. It was just a shame that Poe had other ideas.

"WHY ISN'T EVERYONE ELSE AWAKE?"

"Shut the fuck up, Poe!" you hissed. Despite your best efforts at clamping a hand over his mouth, he'd wriggled free. "It's 2 in the goddamn morning!"

"Exactly," he muttered. "It's so early."

"In the morning?"

"No, I mean, like...early. The party has barely friggin' started, babe!"

Trying to ignore the heat creeping up your cheeks, you lead Poe further down the hallway. His room wasn't far now, but he was beginning to become fucking heavy. Again, it didn't help that he insisted on refusing to use his legs, making him all but a deadweight.

"It's gonna be less of a party when you wake up tomorrow hanging out your ass," you shot back.

Fumbling with his keys, you managed to get the doors to his quarters open. They were as they had always been; cluttered, but not messy. A tangle of jackets and shirts and boots, intertwined with pictures of him with you, Finn, Rey and Leia. A model X-Wing was on his desk, beside a notebook with all his missions plans scrawled down.

"Is this where you leave me?" he asked.

"No, not yet," you muttered.

"Good, that's why I love you so damn much."

There was a dull thud as Poe hit the floor. The distance was only about a foot, but he let out a loud groan as you did. His head didn't even hit the floor, so it was a mystery to as to why he was holding it in pain.

"You love me?" you asked, trying to hide the shock.

"Obviously I do," Poe grumbled. He rolled on his back, dark eyes staring at the ceiling. "Not when you dump me on the floor, though."

"Sorry," you grimaced. "But...do you love love me?"

"I think so," he replied. "I love Finn, and I love Rey, but I love you in a different kind of way and - oh my god! That rhymes!"

"That's...that's a lot to think about," you murmured to yourself.

"Yeah, I know. I think about it all the time," he replied.

Bending down, you took the pilot by the hand and managed to pull him back up.

Dumping Poe in his bed, you pulled off his boots and jacket and put them on his desk chair. There was already water on his bedside table - maybe he'd done some thinking ahead. His painkillers weren't too hard to find either, buried deep in the darkness of his bedside drawer.

"Right, this is where I leave you," you declared, tucking the covers over him. "I'll come and see you in the morning and see how you're doing."

You were trying to act normal, given the revelation.

"Okay..." Poe was already half-asleep. "Can we talk in the morning?"

"You're not gonna remember this in the morning, Dameron."

He lazily stuck his pinky finger out towards you. "But pinky promise me that you'll remind me? Because I've been wanting to tell you that for like two years."

"Yeah," you smiled. "I promise."

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Hello!! I wrote you a really long ask and then accidentally deleted it, so I'll ask you the...not much shorter tl;dr version 😅

I really want to get a ball python (probably male) at some point in the future (once I've done a lot more research, set aside a budget for it, and prepared better), and my extended family seems absolutely convinced that this will be a problem because I have two cats (they think the snake would pose a danger to the cats). Considering ball pythons' everything, I would assume this would be relatively safe for all involved, provided I'm careful that they don't interact (closed door if I'm handling the snake, etc), but also having never in fact owned a snake before, and the fact that ball pythons do get to be pretty large snakes, I wanted to ask what you thought. I feel like I always hear about snakes managing to escape their enclosures somehow, and I guess that's more what I'd be worried about (if you have any tips about that also I'm all ears).

I also wanted to ask what size enclosure you'd recommend for a ball python. My gut says bigger is better (at least to a point--and obviously with a number of appropriate hides) but my research has largely been telling me the opposite, at least until I found your blog. Should I get a smaller enclosure if I get the snake youngish and then move it up to bigger when it grows? Can I just fill a really big one with a lot of enrichment-type things so it's not a big empty space? Is this more of a "keeping the humidity appropriate" problem?

And also I think you'll simply enjoy knowing that a few years ago there was a garter snake hibernaculum near the plant nursery where I work. We never did figure out exactly where they were overwintering but we were kind of working in a river of garter snakes there for a bit, which was honestly pretty delightful. Some of them really didn't want to go around us and just kind of scooted past underfoot instead. We also have a huge and rather cranky black racer that's basically a coworker at this point, she lays eggs in the mulch pile nearly every year and last year I spotted her finishing her shed so I kept the shed skin and it's nearly four feet long. She's about the same color as the hose we use for watering so at least once per year we startle the crap out of each other because she's easy to overlook when she's sunning, but it's fun to have her around. Just keeps us sort of on our toes.

Hello hello!

Re: ball pythons and cats - if anyone's in danger there, it's the snake. Ball pythons don't get anywhere near big enough to hurt even small cats, but a cat could easily seriously injure a snake even if they're just trying to play, so cats and snakes should never interact. It's possible to have cats and snakes in the same house (I have a cat!), but it's important to make sure the cat never has access to the snake. Most of preventing snake escapes comes down to prevention - it's crucial to take time when you're setting up your enclosure to make sure there's no openings big enough for the snake's nose, and invest in a good pair of screen clips if your enclosure has a screen lid.

My minimum recommended enclosure size for adult ball pythons is a 4x2x2 enclosure (120 gallon equivalent), and bigger is always better. It's easier to start baby snakes in smaller enclosures - it'll be much easier to clutter it up so the snake feels safer. I usually start my bps in a 20 gallon, upgrade to a 40 gallon at a year old, and then move to their adult enclosure once they've outgrown that. You could absolutely jump right in with the 4x2x2, though - you'd just have to be very intentional about adding lots of clutter and hiding places! I also find it's generally much easier to keep humidity levels right in bigger enclosures because your heat element doesn't dry out the entire enclosure when it's bigger.

I love the black racer who lives near your work! She sounds like a delight.

[tiktokitssinoclock]

Studying Struggles- The Moon Boys

SFW// Minors and ageless blogs, DNI // You will be blocked

Summary:

Being a university student can come with its challenges, but the boys are more than willing to help you combat them.

Word Count:

1.0K

Warnings/Triggers:

Brief mentions of an unhealthy eating schedule (non-ED related; only in Jake Lockley's section)

Unrelated, but to my Cubans and potentially other hispanics out there, DON'T FREAK OUT when I mention habichuelas y arroz LMAO. My fam is Puerto Rican and we eat them all the time, but I only recently learned from a Cuban friend that whenever I talk about habichuelas y arroz, she thinks I'm mixing green beans and rice. I'm actually talking about delicious stewed beans (with papas y jamon ofc) and rice. That's all, just wanted you to know that I'm not a green bean heathen <3

Steven Grant

Your tendency to agree to anything that's asked of you makes being a student exceedingly difficult

Coworkers will ask you to pick up the odd shift or two and you'll hopelessly accept, managing to take notes on a chapter or two for your problem class after a lunch rush or during your breaks

Your friends might ask you to be a designated driver for their night at the club and you just can't say no, knowing damn well you'll have to study from the moment you get home until your alarm starts going off to get ready for work

It's always one thing after the next, it seems, and although you don't like to admit it to yourself, it can get utterly exhausting

That changes a little once you move in with the boys, however

Steven makes an effort to remember even your most minute mentions exams, and when they start coming up, he makes an effort to help you get the most out of your studies

He'll try his best to keep his cluttered flat a little more organized, keeping his books mostly on their shelves and making sure his desk is relatively clear

Requests for you to join your friends on nights out diminish, but for some odd reason when you are invited, its conveniently on weekends where you're free

After catching Steven steal a peek at your pocket calendar before sending a text, however, you quickly piece together why

He even beats you to the phone when someone from work calls, quickly hitting decline before you can even protest

"Come on, love. You and I both know it's not good for you to pick up any more shifts this week."

He's just supportive through and through, making sure you're not overwhelming yourself while also cheering you on

As soon as exam season is over, he treats you to a weekend of nothing but eating take out and catching up on your favorite shows, too

Marc Spector

You're by no means a stupid person, however, you are quite unorganized

Every week there's a deadline that comes out of nowhere, whether it be for a research paper worth 30% of your grade or an exam that you simply can't afford to do bad on

You typically do enough to pull through in the end, but you're always mentally spent and by the time you're recovered, the cycle repeats again

Marc almost immediately catches onto this, and one night when you close your laptop after barely submitting a presentation on time, he decides he can't let you go on like that

He helps you pull up the syllabi for all your courses and painstakingly comb through the due dates, neatly filling out the calendar you'd neglected to use all semester until everything is written down

"See how I broke everything up across the week? It's so you can get stuff done early and stop killing yourself every Sunday."

He makes you promise to try to follow the schedule you guys made and, while you weren't a fan of the idea of jumping back into your school work so soon after another hectic weekend, you begrudgingly agreed

Marc didn't let your efforts go unrecognized

When you were making slow but steady progress on a book report, you almost don't realize Marc had placed your favorite drink from a local cafe next to you until he was pressing a kiss to the top of your head

After you finally finished drilling through flashcards for a quiz, he was at your side in an instant with your coat in his hand

"Let's go on a walk for a little while, you could use a break."

By the time Friday night had rolled around, you turned in your report and found yourself with nothing left to do

Marc simply smirked at the shocked expression on your face as you flipped through the planner to double check, returning his attention to the dinner he was cooking

"Good job, habibti. Now you can sleep in with me all weekend."

Jake Lockley

Typically, you've got a pretty good hold on balancing all of your school responsibilities with the demands of day-to-day life

You're on top of your studying and homework assignments while also juggling a social life and household chores

The one thing that slips through the cracks, however, is food

Your kitchen gets deserted overnight, the contents of your fridge replaced with meal replacement shakes

Jake notices this especially when a big exam or assignment is coming up- its as if you've subconsciously knocked nutrition down on the hierarchy of importance

He doesn't like that- not one bit

So he puts an end to it

During your next stressful bought, he made it his personal mission to make sure you were eating real food for every meal

Even when you offered up polite protests of "Jake, you don't have to do all that" or "I'll be fine, I promise", they always fell on deaf ears

"Nourishing your body is just as important as nourishing your mind, mi vida. Eat."

And that's how it went from then on

Sometimes you'll be hunched over your computer, nearly done reteaching yourself how to calculate pH, when he leaves a plate of scrambled eggs at your side

Other times you'd be so busy plowing through practice problems, you almost don't notice the hot cup of coffee and sandwich waiting for you

When the night runs late and you start nodding off in your seat, he'll close the laptop in front of you and drag a chair over to join you, the two of you having a late meal of habichuelas and rice

That's how it continues until your last final is finally taken and you can relax

You always offer different ways to make up for it, like doing all the cooking for a month in return, but all he ever wants is quality time with you

[murfeelee]

Hello murfeel, I don't know if anyone ask you this before but what do you think about the news of sims 5 being planned by ea?

Hi! I see we're starting 2023 on a positive note, getting me triggered by EA's shenanigans! 🤣

Yeah, so far I've only commented briefly about TS5 in this post, when EA did that stupid Summit thing where they showed off how much they're trying to one-up Paralives. 🙄 OOoOoo~! They're bringing the color wheel back after swearing on a stack of bibles that CASt was the worst feature in TS3 and TS4 didn't need it and their wacka** LACK of customization was the FUTURE of gaming--zomg lemme get my wallet ready~~! 🤡

Like, EA, everyone knows you're good at Build/Buy mode and CAS--people don't call TS4 a DOLLHOUSE SIMULATOR for nothing. But where is the EFFING GAMEPLAY? I feel the same way about Paralives--I don't need to see anymore of their builds or Paras--I want to follow sims INSIDE their places of work and school (no more EFFING rabbitholes); and see how they act come rain, snow or shine; and I want pets aside from just cats & dogs and RODENTS EA. And different cultural representation, so it's not the same generic American suburban cookie-cutter crap all the time--give me simulated life of the islands, the tundras, the equator, the poles, the Nth/Est/Sth/Wst hemispheres, the cities, the farms, the jungles, the corporate ladder, off the grid--in fully fleshed out EXPANSIONS with living breathing WORLDS, not watered down Game Packs, for crying out loud. Do y'all even remember what Expansion Packs are, EA? If only every pack was given HALF the content and attention to detail that Seasons always gets! It's a sad state of affairs when the best pack y'all ever released was for VAMPIRES. 🤦‍♀️

I get stomach ulcers every time I hear about how people spent over a THOUSAND DOLLARS on TS4 and are clamoring for the torture to be over already so TS5 can hurry up and screw them over instead. The biggest complaint simmers have been screaming at EA about is how dang BORING TS4 is, because

the game is too easy, and people have to cheat to make the game HARDER wtf

the game is too buggy and none of the fancy "features" effing WORK, releasing ENTIRE PACKS BROKEN, with patches that make everything worse

the features TS4 does have that actually work are shallow AF and a lot of them are repetitive/redundant or they don't carry over to other EPs/GPs/SPs to make the gameplay deeper and richer you had one job EA

TS4's worlds are too small and we don't even have CAW, but EA promised us that smaller non-open worlds with no CASt and no Story Progression would make TS4 run so much smoother than TS3--gosh golly, now if only my save would stop laaaaaaagging 😩

where are the skills where are the careers where are the hobbies other than streaming/blogging where are the NPCs where ar--

the sims' emotions & action queues are out of control, but the EMOTIONS were the MAIN thing the dev's pitched when TS4 was announced over a decade ago; why are my sims acting like crack heads when you said they'd be so much smarter?

the kids are totally ignored, where the teens are basically young adults with curfews--but zoinks! they're finally going to update the bassinet-babies after TEN YEARS so the legacy players can actually PLAY WITH LIFE and interact with babies! Maybe if we're lucky, they'll patch in some frikkin preteens so the life states in a life simulation game actually make sense!

the alpha vs maxis match saga continues

Look at everything Sims Freeplay has--it's monetized to hell and back, but at least they have COOL stuff! WHERE IS IT in TS4? Will that stuff be in basegame TS5???? EVER? Or will EA just keep showing us how many throw pillows we can rotate on couches in rooms full of clutter that aren't even interactive objects? 🙃 Paralives has Paras ziplining off of rooftops into their pool--will basegame TS5 even launch with pools and swimmable water, or will that feature be locked off behind another lukewarm paywalled EP where you can only ever swim in ONE (1) world? 🏝 And now that EA making basegame TS4 free to play, they have carte blanche to microtransaction people to death with useless Kits full of DECOR and mess in TS5, too, huzzah!

And they keep bringing up MULTIPLAYER--THEY BETTER NOT. 💀

GOD, I hope the TS4 simmers go off on EA and tell them that TS5 CANNOT be TS4 2.0. Don't have EA walking around thinking TS4 was the right way to do life simulation gaming. TS4's enormous player base means diddly squat if people don't play the game to PLAY the GAME, only using it as the base for their Blender renders -- quantity does NOT equal quality, EA!

I'm not even staying on top of TS5 news anymore, listening to Lindsay Pearson lie to my frikkin face; promising me the moon only to have it turn out to be made of government cheese. The proof is gonna be in the pudding once the game actually LAUNCHES in a zillion years; I refuse to get hyped.

But I am PRAYING EA does TS5 right. Or at least that they make something better than TS4--it's a low bar, I know, but baby steps. Believe it or not, but I'd actually like to play a sims game that isn't TS3 sometime this decade. 🙏 TS4 had so many red flags; everyone knew it was a mobile game port, we're not THAT dumb, EA. Plus, TS4 was just too effing ugly for me. I hate the cartoony playdough look, and the lack of CASt and customization was an IMMEDIATE dealbreaker; so at least EA learned ONE lesson in all this time. *slow claps* Now we just have to see what they'll do about the actual GAME, the part that MATTERS.

Lemme stop, before I pop a blood vessel.

Wake me up when TS5 has more gameplay than Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley.

[the-depths-of-hyrule]

Maybe my first post on this blog should be something that's a little more simple, but this wasn't a blog I even expected myself to make so I guess things on here will be spontaneous.

Anyways, here's the chapter one of the Ganondorf origin story fic I'm trying to write.

(I guess I should also post some context to why I even decided to write this, so I'll make a separate post and update with the link here)

Creating a King

"Lady Sashi! You must see this!"

The almost shrill voice followed the desperate sprint of a few Gerudo as they entered the throne room.

"What is wrong? Are we under attack?"

"No, it's..." With a long pause, she announced, "a new king has been born."

Hearing those words, the Chieftain rose from her half relaxed position. She watched as a woman came in, her arms cupped a small bundle of fabric. She reached the throne and dropped to her knees presenting the bundle.

"He's healthy... A healthy baby boy."

Sashi got up, falling to the ground as well as she moved the sheets to better see the child. There was no mistaking it, the sole male--their future king--was peacefully sleeping before her.

Sashi saw the onlookers who cluttered the room. She stood up and with a wave of her hand said, "leave here! Me and this new mother need to have a word in private."

"R-right!"

The room slowly emptied. No matter their orders, the guards grew curious at the phenomenon they hadn't expected to happen in their lifetime. However, the knew to obey their chieftain's words and scattered after a few moments.

Sashi looked to the mother. The only one of their kind to birth a male and saw how she stared at her son.

"What is your name?"

The woman looked up after a second. "Kotake."

"Kotake, this is something none of us are ever fully prepared for. However, as our rule commands, your son will become our king."

Kotake's mouth turned up into a smile and she let out an almost shocked laugh.

"Might I ask how old he is?"

Kotake dropped her gaze. "Only a few days."

Sashi grunted. "Don't lie to me. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't already know."

Kotake swallowed hard. With a trembling hand to her chest she said, "about four months."

"I figured. He looked a bit too old to be a newborn... Why did you keep him a secret for so long?"

"I-I just didn't know what to do."

"You should have brought him here."

"I know I should have, but I didn't know if it would... Be accepted."

"Hm? Did you think we would banish you and your son?"

Kotake didn't have to say anything to answer her. "With the past males bringing our people down a dark path, I wasn't sure how to feel about it." Her words trailed.

"It must have frightened you when you had a son." Sashi looked to the child.

It was hard for her to imagine that this fresh faced youth would grow up to be a vicious monster capable of destroying the entire world as she knew it. However, Sashi knew exactly what she was going to do.

"You have nothing to worry about." Kotake looked to Sashi. "You and anyone else in your family will be moved to the palace walls. Once your are settled, we'll discuss what will happen."

"W-what do you mean?"

Sashi gave her a soft smile. "I don't mean anything bad. If anything I mean the complete opposite."

Kotake still looked worried, but she got up--taking her baby with her.

"So I assume you're going to name him Ganondorf?" Sashi asked returning to her throne.

"Of course."

"Good. Please wait outside while I call Ransi. She'll escort you back to your home, help you collect your things, and help bring you back here."

"Alright, thank you... Lady Sashi."

Kotake started to leave. She was holding on tightly to the baby and Sashi couldn't tell if it was a grasp of adoration or one of suppressed stress.

Regardless, Sashi couldn't treat him like a normal baby. If Kotake was stressed, then maybe he wasn't reacting because that eased him. She didn't want to think like this, but it was hard not to. Hard not to think of the legends that existed before theirs of the horrors one man brought.

Even if they were nothing but slanderous tales meant to vilify their people, she knew better than to think there wasn't any truth to it. She knew some parts of it were true and had a plan in case she lived during the time of their king's birth.

Being lost in thought, she got up and went to the training barracks. Only a few stood continuing their training, but she knew her second-in-command would always be there. The first to arrive and last to leave.

"Ransi?"

Said woman looked from her monitoring and turned to the stairs.

"Yes, Lady Sashi?"

"Come. I need a word with you."

Sashi didn't wait and returned to the throne room where she sat down waiting for Ransi to arrive. She did so promptly and stood in front of her chieftain.

"I believe this news is still unknown to the townspeople, but a young woman named Kotake had given birth to a son."

Ransi's eyes went wide. "S-she has?"

"Yes. We are prepared for this though. I intend to bring her here to live; she'll raise her son and once he is old enough, we'll begin his training so he's able to fulfill his role as king."

Ransi tried to calm herself. "Yes... I... I never expected this to happen."

"We never do. You are aware I did think of a plan in case it did during my reign."

"Are you not upset at your role being revoked?"

"Of course not. We follow every other rule of the Gerudo, what makes this different?" Ransi dropped her gaze and said nothing. "Anyways, he's another hundred years too early to replace me anyways. Until I feel he is fit to govern over our people, he will remain as nothing but a next in line."

Ransi bit her tongue before sighing. "I see..."

"Hm? You seem as if you want to say something."

Ransi kept her eyes cast downward, but she said what was on her mind. "I can't help but worry he'll bring Gerudo Town to ruin. No matter how you attempt to train him, he may feel your rule is problematic and-"

"And nothing. You will refrain from talk like that."

"Urk, I-I didn't mean to disrespect you."

"It's not me you're disrespecting." Sashi looked to the bustling town just outside the walls she resided in. "It's that young man you're affecting. How would you like to be told you're a monster while everyone else fears your very existence?"

Ransi pursed her lips and said nothing.

"So, while he's growing up, you and everyone will treat him no different than the other young girls. In doing so, this should help to keep his mind right."

Ransi gave a curt nod, saying nothing else to the command.

"Good. So, for now, go and assist the young mother. I told her to wait outside for you."

"Right, will do."

Ransi wasted no time and about faced, leaving Sashi to herself once more. She couldn't even hear the noise of the town anymore, all her thoughts here occupied by how the coming years were going to play out.

She knew she would try her best, but nothing could guarantee her success.

"It's all a gamble in the end."

[em0tionl0rd]

Dear friends,

For anyone who has been a long-time follower or hasn't heard from me in a long time, years even, or has ever wondered/worried about me, this is for you:

The past few years have folded over like an accordion for me. A lot of horrible/terrible things have happened. And my memory is no longer what it used to be. My mind seems to naturally cope with trauma and any negative interactions by locking them away deep within it's confines. Despite this, I always try to stay positive, because I know nobody likes to hear about bad things because it only makes them feel bad. Worse, they feel bad for me, and I don't need need people's sympathy. I just need time to heal, and that's what I have been doing; Taking my time. Previous post on the matter.

It was just One thing after Another, for Years, and my mind's trauma response was to simply cope and continue to endure helplessly instead of push myself away from the situation I was in. You can really see this with my lack of activity on here through my Archive. (not including my art side-blog since I tend to just mass dump whatever art and doodles I've accumulated over there). I was active on Twitter for a bit during Tumblrs downturn, but then Twitter changed. I nuked my art account over there. It's empty. All the posts I made to nobody about my characters and headworld, gone. All because I didn't want my art and ideas stolen and used for Al training.

My main Twitter remains active. I just use it to reblog art now and casually tweet about stuff. Initially I used Twitter to follow content creators, but as my timeline got cluttered, I made alts to follow specific topics. I started using my main to follow news and current issues, and my art account to follow artists and content creators, which I still do, but I retweet to my main only. Then all my art likes stay on my art account and don't comingle with political issues.

I was going to work, and while I would work, I just kept thinking, non-stop. Thinking about all the bad things. Failing to distract myself with my own characters and my story universe. Unintentionally over-sharing with coworkers because at some point in my life I learned how to cope with my anxiety by talking, and talking, and talking.. Unintentionally forming bonds with people I should have never associated with because I felt so desperate for real human interaction other than what I imagined in my head. Something other than my daemons, my conscience, my delusions. The swirling thoughts, the nightmares, the dreams that haunted me just as much as my reality.

Every week, for years, I was experiencing these nightmares. Something would manifest in my room. I could sense it was there. I couldn't escape it. Even if I went to bed and tried my best not to think about it, it would get me. It enjoyed tormenting me.

I started to stay up later and later, fearing laying bed and being prone to this unseen entity. Hoping that depriving myself of sleep would help me fall asleep faster and whisk me away to the sanctity of dreams, but even then, I wasn't safe. If I ever overslept, or didn't do enough to make myself tired before bed, it would find me. If it was merely psychosis, I couldn't tell, because it felt so real.

Eventually, after everything I went through with my ex, things changed for the better, when it came to sleep at least. There was no longer a shadowy presence standing there, grinning at me feet from my bed, or watching me at my desk, waiting for me to go to bed. Instead, there were actual hallucinations. Sleep depravation had taken it's toll on me. My ex had kept me awake many, many nights during my workweek, and forced me to drink with him, or made noise that kept me awake because he would stay up all night.

I distinctly remember watching these long brown withered fingers reaching out of the utility closet in the bedroom while we were both sleeping, and shaking the door violently as if it were trying to get out/in. My eyes were open just enough while I was asleep for this to fully wake me up and scare me. I remember turning over to my ex whimpering and he didn't even care..

Then when he was finally gone (for good), I continued to hallucinate. I had gotten into such a habit of staying up, on top of my uncomfortable sleeping situation due to work related physical pain (among other things), that I started seeing full-body characters dancing in my doorframe. This was completely new to me because before, it was less of a visual hallucination and more like THERE IS A GHOST RIGHT THERE, and now it was more like my eyes were legit not working properly. I just remember staring at my door and seeing all the Digimon characters, full color and everything, dancing and moving around like my eyes were projecting a perfect recreation of them.

I noticed in the past that if I binged a certain amount of content, my eyes would start generating new versions of what I was looking at whenever I closed my eyes. Like my brain could take all this information and create something completely unique and original, which amazed me. For example, whenever I would browse Deviantart and look at character designs or dragons or something, I would close my eyes and every time I closed my eyes I would see a completely new and unique fleshed out design in full color. The downside was that they were usually too detailed for me to do justice in drawing.

I also just see ever-changing generic psychedelic patterns and colorful concentric waves at the edges of my vision. The only time I ever see these properly with my eyes fully open is if I'm staring at the ceiling or the grass or if I press my arm against my eyes. Then there was the one time I was flying out of LA and had taken a 1g thc tab while sleep deprived and noticed a little blob of rainbows in the plane window after take-off. (my ex pushed alcohol and weed on me really hard despite me not wanting anything to do with it bc i don't need it)

So anyway, I had binge watched Digimon Adventure and was now seeing all of the characters in my bedroom door. That was a new one for me. Before I would just stare at the cottage cheese patterned ceiling and try to make out characters in the bumps. I did this my whole life as I had the same ceiling as a kid at my childhood home.

I went back and watched Digimon because I never really got to watch it as a kid and had vague memories of it being overly-dramatic (I was like maybe 4-5) and My Gosh that show goes hard for a kids show. Completely unrelated to my rambling but I wish more kids shows were comfortable tackling such hard-hitting issues, my gosh. Modern media is too soft and probably sets a bad example of reality. (my dad let me watch gory horror movies, rated r flicks, and explicit 90s anime as a kid so who am i to talk)

Before my ex and around the time the nightmares started, I started having surreal auditory hallucinations while half awake. I remember waking up to a small black geometric object floating above my face with blue lines running across it's surface. I was in the thralls of sleep paralysis and felt like it was just floating there above my face watching me. Another time, while my niece was over, I remember hearing something at the top of my stairs, clawing at the carpet and growling at me. For context, I was living in my mom's attic. It was relatively small, with low ceiling, and carpeted.

This thing that was growling at me and snarling genuinely worried me because my niece started developing very strange behavioral issues around this time, but I won't get into that here. I don't think people want to hear my supernatural/paranormal psychology ramblings. I'm just happy that after talking to my mom about it my niece is getting some much needed help. I was so worried that I remember breaking down and crying over it at work.

I felt like something was attached to my niece, and that thing was sort of a manifestation of that that only I could hear while I was half awake. Before it climbed the stairs and started growling, I distictly remember hearing it mimicking my nieces laughter (she was just a baby). And the way it dug it's claws into the carpet and growled, this guttural snarl, I couldn't tell what it was. It felt inhuman.

Around this time, because I was so isolated, and generally miserable, all the research I had been doing into various paranormal and metaphysical phenomena had taken a detrimental toll on my mental health. As you can clearly tell from all of this rambling about things unseen. I started believing that lizard people were real and lived on Saturn. Yes, because I read it on someone's blog. And because of that, I started to be attacked in my sleep by what I can only describe as something reptilian in nature. It somehow had the ability to appear before me and put me into sleep paralysis, pick me up, and send me to the shadow realm (or at least that's what it felt like) where it would claw and bite and do unspeakable things to me while I was unable to move or fight back or even scream.

These experiences carried over after my mom kicked me out. They followed me to my apartment, and they stuck with me for a majority of the time I was with my ex. Part of me really hoped that living with a real living breathing human being would help me out of my psychosis, but that was kind of hard given that he was an actual sociopath and psycho himself. I had no grounding in reality other than work. Work started feeling like an escape. And talking with coworkers even more-so.

For context, my mom did nothing to help. Both of my parents have mental health issues, and I don't want to talk about it. I'm saving that for my biography. My mom kicked me out because the internship program she forced me into in 2018-2019 didn't get me employed right away, so I ended up living with a social worker for a short while who was also a pet foster. It was a bit chaotic with all the animals but I was able to get a job and my own place and get away from my mom which was good. Also my mom was drinking when she decided to come upstairs and lecture me (again) for 2+ hours about how useless I was.

As you can tell, there was already plenty of fuel on the fire for my mental health issues to spiral out of control. I started to neglect my art, my characters, my story, my wellbeing. Yet I somehow managed to keep it together, for the most part. Enough to be employable and push myself to socialize more at work and be personable and friendly. It helps to be overly self-conscious of how I come off to people due to being bullied throughout HS for being "weird"..

I felt like I peaked in 2014-2015 while I was still in Highschool and spent most of my time outside of school hanging out with friends in Minecraft servers. I was having so much fun despite my circumstances, but then the balance shifted in a really bad direction. At one point I was even living with my grandma in an even worse situation back in 2017 just because I was that desperate to get away from my mom.

While in my internship program I realized how freeing it was to be out in the city during the day while taking the bus to work. I was far away from home back in that small farm town and got to spend time at the mall every day which was cool. I got to see the city in fall and winter and it translated well into living on my own bc I had already familiarized myself with the bus routes enough to continue using them when I got another job. I also used them when I was with my ex to get out. Other than that I biked to work. More on that later.

And during my downtime in this program I spent so much time drawing. It was like being back in class in Highschool and sitting at my desk and doodling while the teacher was talking. (it was literally the same) Other than that, I spent most of my time on my laptop doing whatever I could to distract myself from my current situation out of habit. I'd draw digitally, but I struggled to motivate myself to do anything useful with it.

For a long time I relied on Youtube and social media as an escape and a distraction from my problems. Frequently venting to friends online. Paragraph after paragraph. Driving them crazy. Even driving people away. I just didn't know what to do because I felt so helpless. I even became active in the local metaphysical community. I took classes and became a certified psychic (not kidding). I met and attended classes with a paranormal psychologist. And I hung out with a wizard. (RIP)

Needless to say, I think metaphysics and spirituality are bunk at this point. I only see value in maybe paranormal psychology, because at the end of the day, it is literally all in our heads, even if our heads are literally a window into another world sometimes (even if said other world is just dreams and imagination). Taking a huge step back from my interest in the paranormal genuinely helped me heal and become better about handling myself, where I was no longer letting illusory entities harass me in my sleep.

I remember sitting in bed that fateful night and just saying in my head to myself, "This is all in my head and I am the one in control". Then I never got attacked again. Something I didn't mention throughout this whole spiel was that I had an imaginary friend and I frequently imagined myself doing the dirty with said imaginary friend (who is also a character of mine). The "attacks" were simply an escalation of all the kinky shit in my head and all the bullshit alien conspiracies I had been immersing myself in. I had let myself get to a point where I genuinely believed that something else was controlling me outside of myself. Very not mentally healthy if you ask me.

Near the end I remember having to make sure my bedroom door and closet doors were closed, and to cover my eyes and ears with something just to prevent them from playing tricks on me while I slept.

Anyways, lucid dreams, daydreams, OBEs, and sleep paralysis had become normalized to me at a young age. I frequently dreamed about flying and imagining characters in my head. It genuinely became an escape and coping mechanism for me, especially with the creation of an imaginary friend as a teenager because I struggled to make real meaningful friends. Changing schools several times didn't help that of course. I still experience these things and still enjoy them but don't take them as seriously anymore, but they're still fun, even addicting at times. I feel like the human mind is an endlessly deep pool that continues to amaze me at times.

As for my ex boyfriend, god.. It was like dating Murdoc irl, but somehow worse, and sadder. I wanted that Stockholm Syndrome abusive boyfriend relationship sooo badly. Like I felt I needed to be punished for being such an outcast. He Almost killed me. Aside from the few bicycle accidents on the way to work, I think what he did will leave me limping and struggling to walk for the rest of my life.

Also fuck the creep I met at my last job. Holy shit, now that guy was Literally insane. I genuinely hope his kid will be okay. (why the fuck does he have a child holy shit)

Lastly, I am doing better. At least I think I am. It's hard to tell. I'm just happy to be drawing again and enjoying it. After all the BS I went through over the past few years, I actually got pretty rusty so a lot of what I'm drawing might get dumped on my art blog, but in the meantime, I'm just happy I'm posting art and people are enjoying it as much as I do. I haven't felt this stable about my art in a long time. Getting out of that apartment and away from the city and all of those negative memories weighing me down was a huge step in the right direction.

If you read all of this for whatever reason, good for you. Have a gold star. Lemme know if you would read my biography. I have plenty more fucked up stories where these came from, and this is just incoherent rambling that skips most of the awful details.

[greyjjoys]

jcink rper here - i read your callout. it paints you in a bad light, honestly, the whole thing comes off as friends having a falling out and you airing dms that should have stayed private. towards the end it was clear you were writing your messages for the benefit of an audience, because you knew you were going to screenshot that convo to hell and back. so you ran this person out of your community, fine. can't you give a person room to grow and change? if you don't like or trust them, just block them and move on.

this ask is in reference to this post

meant to answer this sooner but i went to bed and then i was out all day. if this was a falling out ONLY there would not be at least 20 people she has affected. when i wrote that doc i was really pissed off and petty, as a lot of us were but i had many people come to me with similar experiences which i think is telling. they can come forward and share theirs in their own posts or the replies on this one but i also respect if they don't want to out themselves to possibly be harassed or to have to rehash their traumas. this is my experience and i'm not going to share others without permission. if i sounded like a whiney little bitch in my doc or my screenshots then whatever. i was valid in my feelings. i'm always here to give a person room to grow and change but how can you grow and change from something you won't acknowledge ?? growing and changing would mean apologizing and acknowledging your wrongs because that shows evolution of character. i never asked for castor to get death threats, i never wished ill upon her but running away instead of owning up to the bad shit you did is not showing any type of character development. we are all in this community to literally write characters and it seems like most of us can understand that in that context but not in the context of us interacting with each other out of character. as for me wanting an audience, i don't know where you got that from. when i approached castor initially about how she was acting i had already spoken to several people who felt the same. that she inserting herself where she didn't belong and being very hyper-focused on only things that would benefit her or give her attention on top of the insurmountable attention she already got from her followers, members of her servers and the people who paid to access her content. i have like 40 followers on this blog because it's a newer one. anyone that knows me knows i usually make a whole new blog every 1-2 years because it inevitably gets cluttered. i couldn't give less of a damn about followers or any type of audience. i reblog musings and character shit here, thats pretty much it. as for me taking a shitload of screenshots ?? absolutely i do. i've been in this community for 10+ years. i need to be able to back myself up and compile evidence if needed. that's not a crime. i've ran rps, i've adminned, i've modded, i've had people stalk me, share my personal information and turn people on me for no reason other than me cutting them for my own mental health and wellbeing. i've never wished them ill, i've usually left the door open for apologies or for genuine asks for help. i was friends with castor for like two years and we talked every day, she wasn't like this when i met her but that's how it always is when you meet people. they usually seem fine but when you get to know them and they start to get comfortable around you they start to show their true colors. vetting everyone you meet shouldn't have to be a trait that's ingrained into you and it wasn't so thats why i didn't vet her when i met her. again, i shouldn't have to. we should believe we can give people the benefit of the doubt to not be horrible but clearly we cannot.

this was longer than i meant for it to be but i could just block her and move on but i feel like if i can try to shield people in any way from her behavior, then, i should. so again, this is simply a warning. everyone can do whatever they want, i'm not telling anyone what to do. it's only advice.

this ask and one more will be all i'll be posting in the tags regarding this because i won't want to clutter the tags with it.

[kafus]

a couple things about the illustration i just posted on my art blog because i'm really proud of it and wanna talk about it. long ramble incoming

for one, 6 months of improvement between these two pieces (left new, right old) and i'm not sure how that happened. obviously the old one wasn't meant to be a whole illustration, more of a doodle, but Still?

second, a while ago i decided i should start doing palette/value tests for my illustrations before jumping into the render since it helps me feel less blind and once again i think i've made the right decision there. i basically do the test on top of the flats with a big airbrush and then save it as an alternate version and reference it as i work on the render proper. you can see the palette test vs the final of the illustration here:

oh and i didn't wanna clutter the tumblr post with it but i actually did save a timelapse of the thing, just not with the lines because i forgot AAA and it jumps a few times where i forgot to hit record. but it's still satisfying i think HFSDFDS FLASHING WARNING BTW i turn layers on and off a lot

my art still isn't where i want it to be but i feel like with every big illustration i take on i'm learning a lot ajdsioasd i used to be way too scared to even attempt anything like this. and this one was especially intimidating because it's MOSTLY background, the characters take up such a small amount of space relatively!! that's really new for me hsdfjkfds

oh and one last side note, the blanket on this illustration was by far the most fun part for me to draw and render. i had a blast with this thing

i have no idea what my kaf/u illustration will be in march but i guess i'll find out eventually :D gotta work on other projects now hsjfdsdf

[incarnateirony]

Ah, good morning world. So now that fandom has had a bit of a wake-up about 2p0 and his violent sources and their real motivations,

While I say everything on his blog is as dumb and wrong as it gets, finally in all of this, he said one true thing people should listen to: People can lie about M&Gs. Easily. Especially people with biases, such as the regulars he uses for sources. All the time.

All Pat ever HAS is M&Gs. It's his whole schtick. Him unironically admitting they can be lied about and manipulated is the only true thing he has ever said, because it's all he and they do.

A huge section of Profound Bond fell for this child fucker's nonsense. They've let him rot dialogue, try to control people using their basic eyeballs on The Winchesters, stomped down people observing what the show is doing to try to save his throne, and it's not gonna work.

I can tell you right now. I didn't lie about the M&G and on site, 2p0's sources didn't either, because they were raging about it. They snarked sarcastically back about questions. They asked to try to identify who the girl was that knew the song, or asked the question, and then the threats started, then they're going "how do people know what was said?" because your drunk asses (already a CE violation) were ranting in the lobby about cutting people.

It's time to pay real, real close attention to 2p0. His actual patterns. His actual agendas. Not just what he says or claims, but what he does and who he engages with for what purpose.

That nonnie "well he can be out there but I prefer your (pat) level-headed-" fuck your comfortable civility culture. The truth is the truth, what about that are you jackasses not getting? No rebel ever accomplished anything by making sure to keep their voice down and saying yes maam yes sir, I'll eat and consider your bullshit.

It's bullshit. You guys know it's bullshit. It was convenient to attach to, to continue to nurse rather than address your own trauma like this show is designed to even walk you through. And people latched on. And now you're realizing it's bullshit and going WELL HE'S MEAN.

No, I'm fuckin mad. Because this fandom is liable for dragging queer creatives, representation movements and more all in its own petty personal wants, and they don't fucking like hearing that. But we're in new Orleans. Get your shit together and learn how we do, here.

half the sunday crowd is a hair's breadth from getting blackballed as a start. I take after my big bro, alright. the one you deny exists, because you think reality can work like that.

2p0 has been lying and controlling PB's narrative for years manipulating M&Gs, occasionally scrambling to look like he has actual sources by pulling ancient scripts. He denied the market testing, berens intent, the confession, the roadhouse, the omissions, and the winchesters pilot script itself along with the direction the show itself is shaped into. He denied it all. bc of his super itk M&Gs he reads badly.

Look past finding crumbs of old scripts he buys. Look how his sources failed him repeatedly on The Winchesters, even on payroll, even if he waves her around a LOT. Remember my warnings about low grade coffee runners not knowing their place like Manchin and the market testing. See the entire little clout game they're playing.

It's a bubble for wincels and bronlies and multishippers to try to pretend this is gonna be another decade they can pretend shit is relative in rather than like, a season. It's talking and being loud and turning you against your content and faves. That's why it's this cobbling of wincels and samstielers and salty megstielers all sticking on an I Ship Destiel pin to fuck around in PB. Like, Quickreaver? Are you guys fucking insane?

You wanna know why servers like mine exist to house PB refugees? It's this insufferable rot. Hundreds of people just wanting the fuck away from the fake noise and hysteria these people intentionally inspire that clutters up and makes your server just outright unenjoyable. The amount of people that outright blame 2p0 for chasing them out because he won't let them have eyes and watch the show is astounding.

Pay. Attention. All he's ever had is M&Gs. Stop trusting this incestuous son of a bitch with whispers from a god awful, physical harm threatening, j2 tinhatted friend ring and y'all been letting him and these people yank your chain for years because they're salty it isn't their ship, literally. Look at 2p0's post that like. Fic Must Be Appropriately Only Subtextual, As I Enjoy Platonic Friendships, But I Ship Destiel. Let Me Dogwhistle By Manipulating Queerplat Terms.

All that asshole ever does. Pay. attention. The one time he has ever told the truth is that people can lie during M&Gs, and that's his entire grifting fandom career.

His pet spnscripthunt project others sold out to work him with has one script left, so fire away, fire away dude. From here anyone is as fair game as the next there too, and well, your wiki script source seems to have an 8 month concept delay and frankly, the fandom isn't gonna need the scripts for the near future so whatever dude.

Fandom's realizing your M&Gs are years of nonsense, your script queue old is empty and new is just you playing games with shit they coulda enjoyed back in February, lmfao fuck off. Anyway people can enjoy my film hunt tags framing out the episodes or flights in for the guys if they want.

[morbiderotica]

this is such a dumb question, but how did you start your blog? like, how do you even put yourself out there?

this isn't a dumb question at all!

this isn't my first blog, i actually had another where i posted stranger things content/fics. i had the tumblr acc for a while to read fics and i decided i wanted to post my own so i literally just sat down and wrote a steve x eddie fic (we don't talk about it) and posted it. and then later that night i made a masterlist which took me forever to figure out.

honestly, i recommend just looking at other people's blogs for inspo and figuring out how you wanna organize your blog, like for me, in particular, i have my navigation, various custom tags i use, request rules, and a masterlist. none of these things are required at all but definitely help just get everything in order.

for beginners, i recommend navigation and a masterlist at the very least. it doesn't have to be fancy or anything like that because the great thing about tumblr posts is that you can edit them so you can change them up as many times as you want.

my first masterlist was super simple it literally just had masterlist as the title and the name of the fic and the link. it doesn't need to be fancy or anything it just needs to be functional.

i initially didn't have a navigation and it wasn't like awful to the point where everything was falling apart but having one definitely helps. you can put all your links to your important posts like the masterlist and explain a little about you (optional) and you can even put your request rules on the navigation. (personally, i like using a different post so my nav isn't super cluttered!)

custom tags aren't needed but they keep all your stuff in one place. like for example i wrote/write for wednesday and death note on this account. i don't write for wednesday anymore so trying to find all my wednesday fics would mean a lot of scrolling but if i just look up the tag i correlated with all wednesday fics they're all in one place now.

if you're just starting out you might not wanna take requests because they can be overwhelming. when i first started writing for wednesday it was a super popular show i think it came out like 3 or 4 days before i started writing and i got like 10 requests the first day and was super bombarded. but if you do take requests, rules are a great thing to have, you know things you wont write and anything else you want to be included when someone is requesting like for example "when you're requesting, please specify what gender and/or pronouns" but to be honest not a lot of people read these, so its a 50/50 thing and can always be added later if you decide you want that. (same goes for everything else)

but when you're putting content out there it's important to tag correctly so that your post gets seen, especially if the fandom is small or not super popular at the moment.

in the picture, you can see

my custom tag for that fandom

the fandom the fic is from PLUS the fandom x reader

all the characters alias the fic is about PLUS the characters x reader

a lot of writers or artists are heavily underrated so if you want you can encourage the people who read your fics or look at your art to reblog it if they like it so more people will be able to see it and tumblr will promote your post more. (pushed to the top of the tag)

i'm still trying to figure out the algorithm myself and how to use tumblr fully so it's okay if you don't get it on your first try! there's always room for error and improvement. and if you're scared about hate or people laughing or anything like that remember that they probably couldn't create something better and that the block button is there for a reason!

i hope this helped and if you have any other questions my asks AND dms are always open! don't get discouraged and do whatever makes you happy! good luck! &lt;3