#I just had a crying session and I'm able to think clearly again

[insanityisfine]

Lowkey pissed at how erectyle dysfunction has become commonly known across several languages as "impotence".

Like.

I'm sure it's incredibly frustrating and alarming and worrying, especially if it happens to someone younger. I'm not trying to minimize that.

But do you know what impotence feels like?

It's despair, it's understanding why Sysyphus' punishement was insanely cruel well beyond physical fatigue.

It's seeing someone you love suffer and knowing there's literally nothing you can do to help, not even hold or confort them, because they're in so much pain there's no possible relief. There's no meds you can buy that haven't already been bought, there's no appointments you can make that you haven't made already.

You have done something, hell, you've done all you possibly could. And it still changed nothing. All you have left to do is wait. And it kills you. Ever. So. Slowly.

That's impotence.

[kissofthemis]

"I'm surprised you're still in one piece."

Any other day, Luke would have fired back with a sarcastic reply of his own.

Today, he simply did not have the energy.

Nor the heart.

"Keep walking if you still want to stay in one piece," he growled without bothering to lift his gaze from the flowers in front of him. The thick bitterness in his voice should have been enough to intimidate most people, but the undisguised threat that saturated his words and flavored his tone was enough to make even the bravest, cockiest folks turn tail and run for the hills.

Marius von Hagen, evidently, was the bravest, cockiest, and perhaps dumbest of them all.

"For what it's worth," Marius continued talking as he plopped down next to Luke, either ignoring the latter's threats or simply believing he was above them. "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. I didn't even know you'd be there."

"If you were a decent man, you would have left."

Marius folded his arms over his chest and pouted in response, a sight that looked almost comical as he towered over Luke even when the two of them were sitting. "Are you saying I'm not decent?" he protested. "I'll have you know, I walked away and put my headphones on until I saw you leave. Then I went in to talk to my attorney about my business' legal matters, as is my right." He was clearly indignant about the attack on his character.

Luke simply rolled his eyes. "She's Pax's attorney, not yours. There's a difference."

"She's both."

"Pretty sure that's a conflict of interest, Mr. President."

Luke didn't expect his malicious sarcasm to be met with an amused chuckle. "Good. You're being a brat again."

The hairs on the back of Luke's neck stood up. "Who are you, of all people, calling a brat?" he snapped, finally turning to glare at Marius for the first time since he'd arrived. "You're such a spoiled, whiny piece of work that actual kids think you're bratty!"

"Are you saying I'm a role model?" Marius purred as the corners of his lips curled into a smirk. "Aww, Luke, I didn't know you thought so highly of me." Suddenly his shoulders loosened up and his eyes softened. "You were so gloomy that it was unnerving. If you're making snide remarks again, then you must be feeling a little better, right?"

Flabbergasted.

Luke was so taken aback that he could almost smell the smoke coming out of his ears as the gears in his brain turned frantically in an effort to think of a way to respond. Normally he was quick to react to just about any situation; his field work as an NSB agent required him to be able to act on the fly in life or death situations.

But in a situation like this, without that adrenaline pumping through him? Not even Raven was immune to getting flustered and floundering.

"How did you know I'd be here?" Not wanting to respond directly, Luke tried to ask as casually as he could.

He winced internally. Being indirect and evading difficult topics was what got Luke into trouble with her in the first place, wasn't it? Wasn't he only proving that despite his promises to the contrary, promises he had made just this morning in his desperation to get her to stop crying, he was already falling back on his old bad habits?

Marius didn't seem to notice or care. "I didn't," he answered bluntly. "I just thought the hydrangeas looked nice."

The hydrangeas?

Luke turned his attention back to the colorful array of flower clusters before him. He reached forward and began to gently rub some baby blue petals between his thumb and forefinger. "I guess they do."

"This time of year," Marius continued, "I find a lot of inspiration by spending time in nature." Was he still talking to Luke, or did he just enjoy hearing the sound of his own voice? "The scenery, the colors, the shapes. It's crucial for a painter to stay inspired, after all."

A half-hearted smirk crept onto Luke's lips. "Why don't you just ask your tutor Dr. Richter to host a study session in his garden?"

Marius let out a loud snort and lifted his chin defiantly. "Please. You think I trust Vyn not to stab me with a pair of garden shears the moment I turn my back to grab my books?"

That brought a genuine snicker out of Luke, and Marius couldn't help but laugh along with him. It was a brief, blissful moment, and then the two fell into silence once again.

"For what it's worth," Marius began, as he plucked a nearby petal off a purple hydrangea, "you totally should have told her earlier."

So he was planning to talk about that. Luke grimaced.

Before he could defend himself, fire back, or coordinate any sort of response at all, Marius continued speaking. "But she's not gonna hate you for it. She'll get over her anger real fast."

The confidence in his tone rubbed Luke the wrong way. "You think you know her better than I do? We grew up together," he pointed out, and he didn't care to hide the acerbic notes underlying his words.

"I never said that, guard dog," Marius huffed. "But I know a thing or two about grief." A despondent chuckle left his lips--it was a sound without an ounce of joy, but rather one that suggested 'I have to laugh, or else I will cry.' A sound of desperation.

"Would it have been better to avoid her and die far away, leaving her only with happy memories from your childhood? Would it have been better if she never got to know the person you are now? Or... would it have been better if she got to know you after being gone for so long, to reconnect with you, to see all the ways you'd changed but also the ways you'd stayed the same?" Marius pulled his knees into his chest, and he gingerly plopped the purple petal on top of them. "Ultimately it boils down to one question: Would she have grieved more if she never knew you, or if she knew you and had the chance to love you?" He cast a quick glance at Luke before rapidly averting his gaze to look back at the flowers.

For now, Luke would pretend he didn't see the tears brimming in the corner of Marius' eyes.

"I never knew my mother." Marius rested his chin on top of his knees, trapping the sole lavender petal there. "I think my father and Giann have suffered more, because they knew her. They miss someone who they loved, because they can see the spectre of her in everyday life in a way that I can't.

"But Giann has told me that he feels more sorry for me, because he wishes I had gotten the chance to know her, make memories with her, and love her. He feels my grief must be worse, because all I have are stories from others without any 'love' to call my own."

Marius paused briefly. Luke could hear the shuddering in his breath as he inhaled deeply, and he could see the way Marius' chest trembled as he slowly let that breath go.

"Maybe we're both right. Maybe we're both wrong. And until you came back from the capital and ran into her again.... You already knew you were dying. You just didn't know whether you should tell her or not."

Marius lifted his head and straightened his back to his full height.

"But she knows now, dammit, so you'd better not run away. She knows you, and she knows what you're going through, so you'd better make sure she has enough happy memories to last an eternity. Until the day she sees you again."

Marius' chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace, and he curled back in on himself once he'd said his piece.

"... because if she cries that she didn't get enough time with you, my first order of business in the afterlife will be to kill you a second time." He sighed. "Unless I hire a medium and pay enough to compensate some spirits for haunting you on that end--"

"I won't let you down."

Luke spoke at last. His voice sounded foreign to him, though, with the conviction and confidence it held. He had never felt so comfortable with his fate, but now... for the first time, he finally felt a burden lift off his shoulders.

Whether telling her or not was the right move was no longer the question. She knew, so Luke had to make the best of the situation.

"You know... you're smarter than I gave you credit for."

"Dude, you suck at compliments."

Another shared laugh, a bit lighter than the first, with a backdrop of powder blue, pale purple, and pastel pink hydrangeas blooming around them.

[anotherghoul666]

Owlish is back, Heh!

(Also reminding you on maybe tagging stuff as owlish again, but like, it's not supposed to come off as annoyed or mean cause I would've forgotten as well!)

Neutral and stable sounds good compared to before!

Also not having cried for 2 days.

I'm really sorry for you but glad that it sounds like it's getting at least a little better (also I'm very sorry cause while I love listening to people (I care about) talking about how they are feeling and why, I'm super awkward when it comes to responding)

Thank you ❤️ I‘ll gladly tell you as well!

Yesterday, I had a very positive therapy session which let me leave with a positive feeling instead of annoyed or hurt as usually (I dislike my therapist but if I’ll state that I can‘t work with her, I have to leave the psych ward and I definitely can’t do that right now. She‘s not very understanding of my problems and also there‘s quite a few things she said that made me feel unsafe so I can barely open up at all)

Also, on the way back with two friends from another therapy today we talked about owls (they’re my special interest) and they were super positive and we talked about how a few owls look like you walked in on them doing something (Micrathene whitneyi) or they look mad/judging (Athene cunicularia) and we laughed about it. It just made me feel great cause usually people dislike me talking about stuff I love and especially when it’s about owls for some reason, but they were just so positive. It was awesome!

Now I’m just super tired cause I had to take additional meds today due to being very antsy and not being able to calm down at all, I‘m cold cause my body has trouble to regulate its own heat and breathing is a bit hard due to me wearing my binder for probably a little way too long by now (but I don‘t have the energy to undress to take the thing off either)

Also I’m looking forwards to meeting the person I’m closest with here (she‘s on another ward) this evening (she constantly has to listen to me talk about Ghost but she‘s so sweet about it XD (she can’t remember anything but tries her best and she thinks I’m cute when I get excited about stuff (I‘m insecure about excitement due to expressing it through stimming, you know, but she‘s making me feel good about it))

So it‘s overall a feeling rather on the positive side which is strange but nice!

Wishing you the best too :D

~owlish anon

(omg yes I'm so sorry!! I noticed it today cause there was a like that came in on it and I went "oh, right, did I tag that correctly?" once I saw the aks in my notifications again, and lo and behold nope I had not XD So I tagged it right away but it was too late uh. Dude I'm so sorry, I'm such a creature of habit I have a hard time remembering new tags and stuff. I have someone else who came on the blog asking me to tag unmasked ghoul content and I feel it's sure some slipped by me despite trying and like XD I'll try more hahahaha thank you for the reminder dear, I appreciate it!)

Fuck yeah dude!! I'm at 4 days without crying now, beginning my 5th! It is Going! I appreciate your support ❤️

I'm so glad to hear you were able to benefit from a positive therapy session despite a having a therapist that's not a good fit for you. That's so hard. I've been in situations before when I put up with therapists that clearly were not right for me because I knew if I didn't take these sessions I'd be pushed back on the waiting list for 8, 10, 12 months, and I didn't know how to make it 12 months on my own you know. I knew session 1 there would be no theraputic alliance or trust from me whatsoever, but I figured I could at least gather tools and information to apply by myself at home. There can always be small things you take from crappy sessions that can stay in your brain and be a tool you have in your arsenal for the future.

Awww dude owls are so cool! I'm so happy you got a positive interaction where you could share about them! But hey! Hey dude! If you wanna share your favorite facts about owls or species or pictures in the future or something? I'm here! I love birds. I got super interested in the birds I could observe at my parent's house back in the day, the backyard / edge of the woods birds. I'd listen to cries and identify new ones I didn't recognize and photograph the bird feeders and stuff. So I know lots about, like, 15 birds species maybe xD Which is not much but that's what I would see daily. I know we have owls locally but I've not seen them so I didn't research them. Then again with a lot of them being super well camouflaged, it makes sense I didn't see any. So yeah, I'd love to learn more! Feel free to come to my ask box if it feels like a safe space to share, I'm interested in what you know and have to teach! :D

I hope you can get some rest, get warm and get comfortable dear. That's important.

And I'm thrilled to hear you've had someone to chat about Ghost with after that! Believe me I know a thing or two about being shut down for showing excitment or talking about a special interest. I was told all my childhood and teen years I was too loud or I talked too much or to lower my voice. Even now as an adult with a long time partner, I still apologize to her when there's something I love I inadvertedly talked about without asking for permission first. Its trauma dude. I get it. It's hard to get rid of. I hope you can find someone who will be genuenly invested in your interests in the future like I did. My partner doesn't give much of a fuck about metal or Ghost for instance, she's not a metalhead, but she happily lets me talk her ear off whenever something happens with the band or about the lore and the ghouls and she reads my fics even if she doesn't know the context and that makes a world of difference in terms of learning that your interests matter too. Cause they do. Owls are cool as fuck, Ghost is cool as fuck, and those subjects deserve respect by the sheer value of them being something you love. I see you.

Take care out there ok! Talk soon!

[shoujosekaii]

Onee-chan no Midori-kun (Midori Loves My Sister)

姐姐的翠君

お姉ちゃんの翠くん

Chapter 8

In the previous chapter, Sui had urged Midori to go to Momo. We see Sui’s words from the previous chapter: “You should use the time now, even if it’s short, to be with her.” Midori opens the door to the house and calls out to Momo.

Closing the door behind him, Midori says to Momo, "I thought that it would be better if I provided you with an extra pair of hands."

Momo looks at him and goes, "Eh, what's the matter all of a sudden?"

Midori (smiling): I thought that Momo might be tired since you're alone. Momo: It's alright, there isn't a lot to do so I'm not tired. Midori: Okay, okay, don't need to be courteous.

Midori washes his hands and continues, "To be honest, it's because Sui-chan was worried about the two of us. She said that even though the time is short, I should take the opportunity to be with you."

His hands dripping wet, Midori laughs, saying, "Therefore, I obeyed her command <3"

Momo answers, "I got it, I got it, stop acting like a goody-two-shoes already. (By the way, the hand towel is over there.)"

Momo uncomfortably thinks to herself, '…Despite this, it feels really awkward to have us suddenly be alone together, Sui-chan~~". Aside, Sui sneezes.

Midori looks at a pot of cooked rice and asks Momo if he should help with making riceballs. Momo answers, "Eh, ah-- I'll leave it to you, then."

The two of them then proceed to work silently, next to each other.

Momo (visibly awkward): …Ah-- Say, um, it's great, huh. Today's weather is so good. Midori (glances at Momo): Hm? Yeah. Momo: Also, it's not too warm. It's wonderful, huh. It certainly is a perfect day for a barbeque.

Midori has a knowing smile on his face.

Midori (teasingly): What's with this standard conversational topic, sounding as if you're in a matchmaking session? Momo: Is it? Am I not the same as usual? Midori: Nonono, I mean that we've never really talked about topics such as the weather… Momo-- You're still bothered by the last time you bailed on me, aren't you?

Momo stiffens as Midori has hit the bullseye.

Midori: Even though you are able to act normal with Sui-chan and the others, when it's just the two of us, I can still feel some awkwardness about you. Momo: Eh- Midori: I can sense that you're a little nervous. Momo: Ack-

Sighing, Momo says, "…I can't help it. Of course I would be bothered. I did such a thing after all."

Midori glances at her and smiles gently, teasing, "What shall I do with you? Momo is just always so serious <3"

Momo: Hey, you- Midori: I already said that it's fine, that I don't mind. Hence, you don't need to feel so guilty about it.

Momo looks at Midori and recalls his words from before (Chapter 4): "I really don't mind such things happening." and thinks to herself, '…You're saying such things again.'

Midori continues, telling Momo, "I know very clearly how important your job is to you, Momo."

We see a flashback of high school Midori and Momo conversing.

Midori: TV station? Momo: Yeah. Midori: You want to be something like an announcer? Momo: No, not that. I mean backstage work. I want to be working at the filming scenes of TV dramas. Midori: Ah-- I remember you mentioning that before. That since young, you've been an avid TV drama viewer. Momo: That's right! Ever since I was young, I've thought about being involved in the production of TV dramas, and perhaps even immerse myself in the world of drama-- Midori: Aww, that's so adorable. Momo: This is just a dream of mine, but Dad was really supportive of me, so I've decided that I must achieve it. I hope that with this, my father in heaven will be able to see that I am continually working hard to achieve my dreams. Midori: What's with that, it's so tear-jerking. (What a touching story!) Momo (teasing): You say that but you're not crying. Midori: Regardless, for real, I will also always be supporting you.

End flashback.

In the present, we see Momo silent, reminiscing. She then sighs, saying, "…Hah-- I'm such a burden. I've made Midori and Sui-chan worry about me."

Midori replies, "Well, I'm your boyfriend, so feel free to make me worry about you."

However, after a pause, Midori asks, "…Hold on, Sui-chan, too?"

Momo looks at Midori and gives him a small smile. She says, "It was Sui-chan who suggested that I should invite you over today."

Midori's eyes widen a little upon hearing that and he remains silent. Sighing, Momo continues, "She noticed that I was feeling troubled about this. It's so embarrassing to have my sibling who's 7 years younger, worry about me."

Midori also thinks about how Sui had egged him on earlier and smiles gently while looking at Momo. He thinks, 'That child, is really…'

Momo then says, "…Say, Midori. I've given it some thought. Why don't we commit to a plan, that we must meet once a week?"

Midori is surprised and goes, "Eh? Hold on, what? (Why are you suddenly saying this?)"

Momo: That's because if I don't do this, I'm afraid that I will use my work as an excuse and take advantage of Midori's generous, big heart, for my own selfish needs. Midori: …It's fine, I won't mind. Furthermore, when filming starts, you're just going to be even more busy, aren't you? You don't have to push yourself like this. Momo: It's not pushing myself at all. I want to do this. Even though I'm really happy in my job now, and indeed I would like to put my job as my top priority, I don't want to neglect your feelings because of it, Midori.

Midori still looks surprised and he begins, "Ah, but-", but Momo cuts in, asking, "What, you're not willing to?"

Midori uncomfortably says, "…Ah, not that. I'm indeed very happy… but…"

Momo then claps her hands and goes, "That's good! Then it's decided-- Alright, let's bring the food out. (I'm so hungry--)", while Midori lamely responds, "Eh, ah-- okay." He has a somewhat concerned expression on his face.

Sui narrates: I wonder if onee-chan and Midori-kun were able to open their hearts and communicate.

Later, everyone is sitting around enjoying the barbeque. Sui and Momo's mother encourages Midori to eat, handing him a plate of food and telling him there's no need to be courteous. Midori politely accepts the food, but Ayame's father pops up next to him, going, "Midori-kun. How about we drink this next?"

Ayame's father is holding a whiskey bottle.

Midori: Eh- Ayame dad: It's not satisfying to just drink that one made for kids, is it? It's definitely not satisfying, am I right? Midori: Ah, it's not. Ayame dad (pouring the whiskey into a glass): Okay, drink up then, drink up. (I absolutely recommend this brand.) Midori (uncomfortable): Um, ah, then I'll graciously accept.

Momo suddenly comes in and takes the glass of whiskey away, going, "Alright, that's enough-- Midori is a lightweight, you know. If he drinks this whiskey, who knows what madness will befall us."

Ayame's dad looks bummed out as he responds, "Eh, a lightweight, huh…"

Flustered, Midori answers, "Ah, but if it's just a little bit, it should be alright.". However, Momo tells Midori, "It's fine, you don't need to pacify him."

The mothers watch from aside in amusement. Ayame's mother says that if her husband were to continue drinking, he would be badly hungover the next day. She also remarks that Momo is very mature and reliable.

We see Ayame's dad still not letting go of Midori, saying, "Well, when we're having barbeque, you simply have to drink, then it will be enjoyable, right? Midori-kun, what say you?", while Midori awkwardly goes, "Eh, ah-- yes, you're right."

Sui, Ayame's brother (his name is Aoi) and his girlfriend are also watching from aside. Aoi remarks, "There he goes again-- Dad has drunk too much and is bothering other people now."

Sui silently thinks to herself while chewing her food, 'Somehow, seeing Midori-kun squirming like that… (it's refreshing). He totally looks like someone who can handle his liquor, but who knew that he was actually a lightweight? What's with this gap moe? It's kinda adorable… he's so weak.' We see that Sui is quietly very entertained by it.

Sui then looks at Momo and Midori, thinking to herself, '…Ah, regardless, it's great to see that they've got a good vibe going.'

Sui turns to Ayame, who's sitting near her, asking if he's eaten yet. However, he's busy playing games on his console and wearing headphones so he doesn't respond to her. Sui then proceeds to remove Ayame's headphones and go, "Hey. At such a time, can't you take a break from your games? (You're such a handful.)"

Ayame looks at Sui blankly and answers flatly, "No."

Sui: Why? Ayame: Somehow, I'm feeling distressed and I can't seem to calm down.

Sui looks concerned and asks, "What's wrong? You're a bit strange today, Ayame.", but her words are overshadowed by Aoi bursting in, asking, "Ah, onii-chan, you're going after the tsunderes againnn?"

We see what's on Ayame's game screen: There's a girl, blushing and pouting, saying, "No…no way! I'm not complimenting you, got it?!"

Aoi remarks, "The characters that onii-chan likes to chase are always the tsundere types."

Turning to his girlfriend, Aoi continues, saying, "But well, I prefer the candid types--" and his girlfriend asks, "I'm candid?".

Aoi affectionately answers, "Haru-chan, you're graceful and candid!"

Watching the young couple, Sui thinks to herself that they're so lovey dovey, she can see hearts floating about them.

Sighing, Ayame remarks that Aoi is still young, so he doesn't understand the appeal of the tsundere types.

Aoi asks, "Say, onii-chan, why do you like tsundere types so much? You weren't like this last time."

Sui agrees, saying, "…Ah-- That's true. If I think back, Ayame used to go for more diverse types."

Ayame begins, "…Asking why, huh."

Getting fired up, Ayame points to his eye and says, "Firstly, it's in the eyes."

The super otaku Ayame starts explaining, "Tsundere types typically have particularly upturned eyes. There's simply nothing more adorable than that. The way they line their words with thorns just so they can hide their shyness is also wonderful. I also love how they like to put up a strong front. Most importantly, when they unexpectedly act cute, their cuteness just hits me like a bomb and my heart squeezes with adoration. Also-"

Sui interrupts him by going, "That's enough. (And I don't even get it.)", but Ayame retorts that he's just begun explaining.

Aoi looks at the two of them knowingly and goes, "…Uh-huh.". Sui notices and asks Aoi what's wrong. However, Aoi doesn't reply to Sui and turns to Haru, going, "Ah, that's right. Haru-chan, we have bubble toys. Let's go over there and blow some bubbles." Haru readily agrees, while Sui is slightly irked at Aoi ignoring her.

Before leaving, Aoi turns back to say, "Onii-chan, you're so simple and easy to read."

Ayame simply looks at his younger brother silently as Aoi walks away, while Sui looks at him. Ayame then turns to Sui and asks, "Eh, which part of me is easy to read?"

Sui answers flatly, "I don't know."

Ayame remains silent, looking deep in thought, while Sui watches him. She thinks to herself that Ayame is truly being odd.

Later, it's dark and they take out the (handheld) fireworks. Aoi and Haru are excited to play with them. Aoi excitedly asks Ayame to quickly light the fireworks, but Ayame says that the lighter seems faulty.

Meanwhile, Sui walks towards Midori and Momo, handing them the fireworks. Momo thanks her and Midori seems happy to see the fireworks.

Midori: I haven't played with handheld fireworks for so long. Momo: There isn't much occasion to play, after all-- Sui: We play every year, though.

We see Aoi and Haru having fun, when Momo's cellphone suddenly rings. She excuses herself to answer the call inside the house.

Midori smiles and waves as Momo leaves, while Sui just stands and looks at her sister. Sui then says, "Well, I'm sorry that you have to be stuck with me."

Midori answers, "Why are you saying such things again--"

Sui: Regardless, it's great. Onee-chan wasn't called away to work at all. Midori: That's right- It must be because I accumulated good karma <3 Sui: You're annoying. …Anyway, so? How was it, having some time to be alone together? (Cut the crap and report to me truthfully.) Midori: Eh. (What barbed words.) Sui: We're all present, you know. You didn't stick to onee-chan doing sneaky things, did you? Midori: What kind of guy do you think I am? Sui: A frivolous, good-for-nothing bum.

Midori is momentarily stunned, while Sui continues, "So, did the two of you have a good talk?"

Midori looks at Sui and recalls Momo's comment: "It was Sui-chan who suggested that I should invite you over today." He smiles a little and answers, "Yeah. Even though there's a bit that I'm still concerned about."

Sui looks at Midori, confused, but he continues, "Despite that, I can feel that Momo is doing her best to think about us."

Satisfied, Sui smiles and goes, "Well-- It can't be helped. (Okay, come on, let's play with fireworks. Hurry up.)"

Sighing, Midori says, "…Hah-- Anyway, about that, you're such a good kid, Sui-chan. You're so thoughtful that it's even making me feel troubled. How on earth does one nurture a kid to be like Sui-chan? (Won't you tell this brother?)"

Sui looks unimpressed and just goes, "Hah? What?"

Midori responds, "It was Sui-chan who suggested to Momo to invite me to the barbeque today, right?"

Sui is stunned upon hearing those words, then she screams in her head, 'Onee-channn---- (you didn't have to tell him…!!)', while Momo sneezes.

Turning her head away embarrassedly, Sui says, "I didn't do this for you, Midori-kun."

Midori: Yeah yeah yeah, I understand <3 Sui: Don't give me that smirk. Midori (smiling weakly): Right. Regardless, truly, thank you, Sui-chan. Be it concern or tolerance, it seems like I'm always on the receiving end from Sui-chan.

Sui gazes at the fireworks while she thinks, 'What a dummy you are. I am the one who's received a lot from you.'

Sui has a light blush and a tiny smile on her face, which Ayame notices from aside.

Waving her extinguished sparkler at Midori, she chides, "Midori-kun, you're such a dummy. (A huge one.)", while Midori answers, "Eh, insulting me all of a sudden." Ayame watches the exchange silently.

Ayame thinks to himself while watching Sui and Midori, '…That's odd. Just what is this feeling? …I'm starting to feel restless again…'

Ayame notices Sui blushing. He then suddenly walks over to Sui and holds her ponytail loosely. Midori looks at him, and Sui also notices what Ayame is doing.

Sui turns her head to look at Ayame, going, "Eh?" while Midori looks surprised.

However, Ayame looks to be in a daze and doesn't say anything. Sui repeats with a hint of annoyance, "Hey, what's the matter, Ayame?"

Ayame replies, "Sui-chan. Play the fireworks with me."

Sui looks at Ayame, annoyed and confused, going, "Huh?"

Ayame stares at Sui and recalls his own words: "Firstly, it's in the eyes." "Tsundere types typically have particularly upturned eyes." "The way they line their words with thorns just so they can hide their shyness is also wonderful." "I also love how they like to put up a strong front." "Most importantly, when they unexpectedly act cute, their cuteness just hits me like a bomb and my heart squeezes with adoration."

We see a collection of Ayame's interactions with Sui and how Sui's behaviour exactly matches Ayame's description of the tsundere personality that he loves.

Letting go of Sui's ponytail, he thinks, '…Strange.'

Sui looks concernedly at Ayame and goes, "…Ayame?"

We see that Ayame has a blush on his face as he recalls Sui's words: "Even if you don't want to show it, you can't help but reveal on your face what you're feeling in your heart." "That's what love is like, you know." and realizes to himself, 'Haven't I just been describing Sui-chan the whole time?'

[shouldershimmycity]

Helium - Pt. 3 (Hangman x Mitchell-Reader)

Maverick never thought he would have children. Then he finds out he has a daughter, and he has to decide whether or not he wants to be a part of her life. But first, he has to get her out of enemy territory with the help of the man who will fall for her.

TW: Torture, biting someone's ear off, vague description of vomiting, discussion of child abandonment, screaming match, things get thrown, I make characters cry a lot and I need to write more fluff I'm sorry.

Inspired by the song Helium by Sia.

Prologue Part 1 Part 2

I'm so excited for this chapter, I think the one scene in here is one of my favorites I've written.

*****

Hands disgustingly slithered across your body, and you spat in the soldier’s face.

“Keep your hands off me, you slimy rat!” you warned, and the soldier simply laughed in your face. You were tied to a chair, he could do whatever he wanted to do to you. 

“Or what?” his heavily accented voice was playful when he leaned in close to your ear. He immediately regretted it.

Teeth closed down on his left ear, and with a sharp tearing motion it was gone; his hands flying up to grasp at the now bloody area. It’s a fun fact to know that only seven pounds of pressure can rip your ear clean off. Clearly that was something he was never told, since his ear was spat out onto the cement floor by an indignant Mayhem.

Swearing in his language, the backside of his hands connected with your cheeks repeatedly. His blood smeared across your face with every blow, and eventually, mercifully, the other soldiers pulled him off.

The pain was blinding, and through every breath, you focused on the ceiling above; wet water marks staining the top of the room.

They wanted to know everything you knew, but you weren't going to crack. Your head lifted once more to see one of his affiliates with a knife in his hand. Panicking, you struggled against your bonds while he approached you, and the tip of the knife just pierced your skin as you took in a deep breath, steeling yourself for the sting.

Jolting up in bed, your heart was pounding a mile a minute, and your intestines felt like they were roller skating in your gut. The images from your dream flashed across your mind once again, and feet pounded on the hardwood floor until you found the small trashcan next to the desk in your house, stomach lurching. Pushing the trash can away after emptying what remained in your stomach into it, you grimaced. 

It had been a couple nights since you had a nightmare, thankfully, but it was still hard to deal with. You had begun looking for a therapist, but your mother had interfered and dismissed one who was interested in having a session. She believed you didn’t need help, and that she could do the job herself; but you refused to share anything with her. The mission was scheduled for the end of the week, and that hardly helped your nerves. The top pilots in any F-22 detachment in the Air Force were arriving tomorrow evening, and you had to make sure they were able to not only fly with the Dagger Squadron, but get along with them. At the very least, they had to be nice to each other. How you were going to do that, you didn’t know

*****

“A… barbecue?” Maverick looked at you from the podium. Before the briefing for the day, you had presented your idea to him to get some feedback. 

“Yeah, I have a few lawn games at the rental house, a relatively big yard, and I think it’s a fairly laid back capacity where people can get to know each other a little more personally. It’s hard getting thrown into something like this, but I figure maybe it’ll help break the ice. We only have a few days left,” your eyes were round with pleading and Maverick couldn’t help his small chuckle.

“I think that sounds like a fantastic idea, we played dogfight football as a team building exercise during our last training,” he explained, and you raised an eyebrow. 

“Dogfight football?” you asked, and looked over to the door which had just opened. Rooster, Hangman, and Coyote all walked into the room, chatting about something animatedly.

“Good morning, how would you guys feel about playing dogfight football again?” Maverick asked, and the guys whooped. You raised your hands in surrender. 

“I’ll let you take the wheel with that one, Mav. But give it back to Jesus when you can,” you laughed and Rooster snorted. Hangman had to agree with you on that one.

“Said everyone, all the time,” he commented, winking at you, and Mav huffed.

“Dogfight football it is, Pops,” you grinned.

Later, after training for the day had concluded, the clock read 15:00, and you opened the door to the briefing room, Scythe and Beegee walked through first, followed by Maverick, and then you waddled along behind them like a small child. In the grand scheme of it all, let’s not lie, that’s pretty much what you were. Scythe spoke for everyone to sit.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, you’ve been called to Top Gun to fly for a special mission with the Navy, as I’m sure you have heard from the grapevine, there was a hostage situation with a rogue faction of the enemy’s military. Their base is going to be weaponized at the end of the week. Your job will be to fly alongside the Dagger Squadron and give them air support in the F-22. Your aircraft is more technologically advanced than the F/A-18. That being said, these are some of the best dogfighters our nation has to offer. Two teams will be deployed. One will be bomb runners for the base, to ensure destruction of the target. The other will be in charge of destroying the weapons en route to the target. To our knowledge, there is nothing nuclear involved. Captain Mitchell will be mission leader for the Daggers, and Lieutenant Bailey will lead the F-22’s, now known as the Sabre Squadron. I understand that there are Captains amongst you, and you will outrank Lieutenant Bailey, but you are to treat her as the senior aviator for this mission,” Scythe concluded, and you couldn’t help but notice one gentleman sizing you up. He must be the Captain involved, and he didn’t look too pleased. Maverick sensed something off about him, as did Mayhem, but neither said anything. 

“Lieutenant Bailey, the floor is yours,” Scythe stepped back and you clapped your hands together, clasping them warmly.

“Welcome! I understand that we have a few days here, and I have no doubt that we will be successful in this mission. That being said, I will be hosting a small assembly where there will be refreshments available and team building exercises will be performed. In layman’s terms, there’s a barbecue at my house tonight with games. The Dagger Squadron will be present, so please, I invite all of you to get to know them. It’s been a pleasure flying with them thus far.” Murmurs of approval swept through the room, and you were already feeling much more confident in yourself.

Maverick smiled at the conclusion of your speech, and everyone was dismissed for the day. You hoped everyone would show up, as the success of the mission relied on good teamwork. At the very least, you hoped that the Air Force and the Navy could work well together.

*****

Wheezing, you couldn’t get the rest of your story past your damn lips, and Maverick looked like he was about to cry from laughing, little noises leaving the man's mouth. You were pretty sure the sound coming out of your own mouth resembled a duck, but it didn’t matter as you were more concerned with the cramping in your abdomen. He had come over to help you set up for the evening, and when you both had finished you tossed him a beer, which turned into two, then three. You were waiting on Rooster to bring the meat and veggie burgers for the grill that Payback offered to man for the evening.

The door to your rental house opened, and your mom stepped onto the porch. She was visiting you for a few days here, and by visiting that meant she had called you insisting you pick her up from the airport after she had already arrived. You stood, belly laughs still making their way past your lips. It was completely possible you were a little drunk. 

“Ah, Maverick! This is my mother, Emily Bailey, Mom this is Captain Pete “Maverick” Mitchell,” you introduced them, and he kindly shook her hand for show. She however, returned it stiffly. 

“Maverick,” she greeted cooly, and you took notice of it. 

“Mom, don’t be rude,” you demanded, surprised at her attitude.

“You’ll have to excuse us, sir. We have plans this evening that require our attention,” her smile was tight lipped. You tucked a strand of hair away from your face, confusion written all over your features.

“Mom, I’m having a get together here. I invited the two squadrons over for burgers and dogs? Remember?” you reasoned. She rolled her eyes at your perfectly reasonable tone.

“Must have slipped my mind, you’ll have to cancel,” her words were matter of fact, and you were growing irritated with her. As per usual.

“I’m not canceling an hour and a half before everyone gets here, Mom,” you told her, picking up your bottle from the wicker coffee table and taking a sip as she turned to you.

“Can I speak to you in the kitchen?” her words were direct and her tone was harsh, clearly bothered by Maverick’s presence.

“Why are you being so rude?! I was just having a drink with Maverick! Why are you so fucking defensive today?!” you accused her, slamming your bottle down onto the table.

“You know what?! Fine. You don’t want to spend time with your mother? That’s okay, you can spend time with your deadbeat father instead! Fine by me!” she snapped, storming past you and into the house. 

Freezing, you couldn’t help staring after her and processing what she had just said. Your eyes bore into Maverick’s heart for the tiniest second, before rapidly following your mother into the house. Maverick followed behind you guiltily.

“What did you say?” you asked her to clarify.

“You heard me,” she said, putting groceries away. The anger began to bubble in your stomach, and you were truly afraid of what you might do.

“I– I don’t think I did, mom,” your words were still confused, but defensive.

“What? You didn’t hear me say that, yes, Maverick is your father? He’s known this whole time, dear. Get with the program,” she spat. You looked at Maverick, who stared at your mother in hurt and disgust.

“That’s not tru–,” he began but you held your hand up to cut him off. His expression was that of a hurt little puppy, but it made your blood boil.

“Office is down the hall to the left, sit there until I am ready to deal with you,” your voice was now colder than anything he’d heard from a person before, and he did as he was told. Truly you didn’t mean to be that harsh, but you were reeling. When the door closed behind him, you turned back to your mother, who stared at you in deadly silence for half a minute.

“Why didn’t you tell me who he was?” you imposed the question upon her, voice dark.

“I most certainly did tell you, you probably just didn–” she was sharply cut off by the pickle jar she had just bought flying across the room and shattering against the brick wall, the pungent liquid splattering everywhere. 

“No! You don’t get to pin this shit on me, woman! I know that you didn’t tell me,” you began, inching closer to her, her genuine surprise only fueling the fire, “You knew this entire time, and you never thought to tell me more than the bare minimum?! You DEPRIVED ME OF A FATHER!” your voice raised so high that the grit presented itself. The sound was terrifying, and your mother had never seen you behave this way before. Her eyes flicked in the direction that Maverick had left in, but your own gaze never wavered.

“I am sick and tired of you gaslighting me and pretending like I’m a stupid little girl! You fucking lied to me because you didn’t want me to have another parent in my life who you couldn’t control! You deprived me of all the things that kept me heartbroken as a kid! You wanna talk about blame?! How FUCKING dare you! YOu,” you poked her in the chest, hard, “are responsible for a LOT of shit! Shit that I’m tired of taking the brunt of! SO get! The fuck! OUT OF HERE!” you practically roared at the woman who was now trembling beneath your gaze, and she grabbed her purse to leave as expediently as she could. The front door slammed shut, and the only thing that remained in the kitchen was the stench of dill pickle juice all over the floor. You didn’t register how violent you had been until after the door had closed, which was only another thing you were dealing with since your retrieval from enemy territory. Everything irritated you, and your reaction to it was all too strong. Basking in the stillness of her departure, your hands trembled irrepressibly with the rage you felt.

Your head was pounding, blood roaring in your ears and Maverick stood in the doorway once more. When the pickle jar had hit the wall, he had come running back out to make sure no one was hurt. He had seen everything, and the guilt he felt was immense. He’d seen that rage before, the trauma he experienced from Goose’s death caused him to fly off the handle on more than one occasion. Just ask Sundown. He recalled the way he had grabbed the RIO by his flight suit and growled in his face. Now, he couldn’t help but stare at you, silent, white knuckled and gripping the counter to ground your own fury. Taking a deep breath, you turned to clean up the glass but your legs turned to jello and Maverick caught you when you stumbled and fell to your knees. He kneeled before you, brushing your hair flat to your head in comfort; eye level with you. How could you have not seen the resemblance when now it was plain as day? You pushed his hands away from you.

“No. NO!” you insisted he stop touching you and being near you. “Stop.”

“Please, let me explain—“

“NO!”

“I am so sorry,” his words were little more than a whisper, and you stopped fighting him as he wiped the angry tears that now spilled over onto your cheeks. Shaking, your breathing was nothing shy of hyperventilation now.

“Why didn’t you want me?” the heartbreak in the sobbed question was evident, and it put Mav’s own heart through the wringer. It was no longer Mayhem speaking, but the inconsolable little girl who cried at the back of the class when everyone else was making father’s day cards for their dads, because hers had nowhere to go but the garbage. The little girl who picked the only thing she had ever made for him out of the goddamn trash. Pete felt every bit of that heartbreak from his own childhood, and it was fresh now knowing he couldn’t change it for his little girl.

“Why weren’t you there when I needed you? I needed you, Mav..”

“I never knew about you until the extraction,” he confessed, his own eyes beginning to drop tears, “I promise you, I had no idea. I found out, then I didn’t know how to tell you, and then we were put together for this mission. I didn’t know if you wanted me in your life after all this time. If I could go back, I would have told you immediately, because I see now that I was wrong.” He tucked your hair behind your ear lovingly, “If I had known, I would have been there for every sports game, ballet recital, graduation, heartbreak, birthday, and Father’s Day that you could imagine! I would have been there for all of it, but I was never given the chance, and for that I am so so sorry, May. I’m so sorry,” You were sobbing into his shoulder now, and despite the gut wrenching pain you felt whole.

“I’m so sorry, Mav, I’m so sorry,” your voice was thick with tears, and you shakily huffed when Maverick squeezed you into a comforting hug, telling you you had nothing to apologize for and shushing you like a toddler who had a nightmare. You were finally with your dad, but you wondered why you had to lose so much time with him. Looking over at the pickles that were strewn all over the floor and mixed in with glass, you smiled through the tears. 

“I got pickles all over my kitchen,” the sobbed words turned into laughter as you looked at the little green things, and Maverick chuckled as well and wiped his own tears.

“Go clean yourself up, I’ll take care of the pickles,” Maverick stood, kissing the top of your head, “Do you still want people over?” You nodded, and took the hand he offered to help you off the floor to go splash cold water on your face in the bathroom. You had just changed your clothes when the doorbell rang. Peeking out your bedroom window, you saw Maverick open the door for Bradley holding the food, who was blissfully ignorant of what had just taken place in your house.

Everyone arrived soon after, and although Hangman had questioned your demeanor, you assured him you were just fine and plastered on a fake smile. Sometimes, it was real; like when Moose, a massive Air Force Pilot from Alaska challenged Coyote to an arm wrestling contest. Dogfight football was ingenious, and you had patted Maverick on the back for that one. Separately, Maverick had told Rooster what happened, and asked him to keep a look out for your mother, in case she tried to come back and make a scene. Throughout the whole evening he had an eye on the driveway or the door, which kept you calm to know it was taken care of. Once everyone had departed, you, Hangman, Rooster, and your father were sitting in your kitchen. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Mav asked, and Rooster was right behind him offering the same. After all, you were basically his sister now. You three had decided to keep the recent development quiet, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention right before training.

“I’ll be okay, the police station is right down the road in case something happens,” you encouraged, and he nodded. He and Rooster gave you hugs before saying their goodnights and goodbyes to you and Hangman, who wanted to spend more time helping you clean (which was really just an excuse to stay longer). Once the door was closed, the interrogation began.

“So, you’ve been off tonight. What’s going on?” He was genuinely concerned. Without an immediate answer, you grabbed a bottle of whiskey from your cabinet and poured two glasses. 

“You’re gonna need it,” you handed one to him and he raised an eyebrow. The two of you flopped down onto the couch in the living room.

“You know how I said I don’t have a father?” you began after a minute, and Jake agreed with the question, “well I got into a huge fight with my mother about the way she was acting, and she used it against me. I, admittedly, got violent and threw a pickle jar at the wall, and I basically disowned her.” You took a big swig of the potent liquor in preparation for your next words. Jake seemed unbothered by the assault on the innocent pickles, but his jaw clenched at the way your mother had weaponized that against you.

“But, as it turns out, I do have a father, biologically and everything, and he has been under my nose for the past few weeks,” you made eye contact with Hangman to gauge his reaction. Ever so slowly, his eyes widened as he put all the puzzle pieces together.

“No…” he started.

“Yep.”

“No way!”

“One hundred percent.”

“No friggin way!”

All you could do was bob your head up and down.

“MAVERICK?!” 

“I know.”

“Oh my God,” he whispered.

“Is this turning you off from me or something?” you asked him, teasingly, a sly smile on your face.

“No! I’m just… very surprised, but now a lot of things make sense…” he grinned slowly, “If anything I’m just a little more scared of Maverick,” he laughed and you facepalmed. He threw the whiskey back and gently placed the glass on the counter. 

“Are you okay?” he checked in.

“Honestly, yes and no. I never want to see my mother again, but if anyone had to be my dad, I’m glad it’s him. At least he understands life, y’know?”

The both of you sat in comfortable silence for a while until you noticed Jake staring at you, a soft smile on his lips. Jake was so different from Hangman, it was startling.

“What?”

“You are so beautiful y’know that?” you couldn’t help the blush that found its way onto your cheeks.

“And I think I gave you too much whiskey, Hangman,” you laughed, standing to snatch his empty glass off the coffee table.

“Me? Never,” he stood to follow you into the kitchen, he caught a glimpse of a picture that was held to the fridge by a magnet.

You were clearly a bit younger, but not too much. A man stood with you, both dressed in flight suits. Your teal helmet was bright and your callsign was painted across it, the man’s deep red helmet had “Boxer” written in bright white letters. You looked so happy with him, laughing, and Hangman couldn’t help the frown that crept onto his lips. He wasn’t jealous, he felt sorry for you and for him. He looked like a good friend, and suddenly he’d been ripped away from you. Jake turned to you once more to find your back turned to him, busily finishing the dishes. 

“How are you doing, really?” he asked, and the way you tensed up was miniscule but noticeable. After a few seconds of silence, you took a deep breath.

“Barely holding on,” you confessed, looking at him in the reflection of the window, placing the now clean potato salad bowl into the drying rack. You didn’t turn to look at him outright, and he crossed the kitchen to stand next to you, putting a hand over yours. 

“I’m here for you, y’know,” he whispered tenderly, and after a moment you slipped your hand away from his to rinse the glass you had just been cleaning.

“I know, I know, it’s just… so much has changed over the past few weeks. Today alone has been life changing and I just don’t know how to cope like I used to. It’s like my resolve went into that cell with me and died in there with Boxer,” you angrily placed the glass you had just rinsed on the counter a little too firmly and it cracked up the side, not falling apart, but breaking all the same. It was a sad little metaphor for your life.

“Apparently my ability to not break shit also died in there,” huffing, you tossed the glass in a grocery bag and threw the grocery bag away before it could shatter, “I just… I don’t know how to piece myself back together, Jake.”

“Well, I’m here to help you figure it out, and so is Mav, now. I’d wager Rooster would be a good listener too, Bob’s sister is actually a psychologist,” he halfheartedly chuckled, putting his finger under your chin to lift your eyes to his, “my point is, you’re not alone anymore. You’re not alone and now you won’t have someone up your ass tell you you don’t matter all the time,” a lopsided grin projected onto your face, and Jake mirrored it.

“There’s my girl,” he whispered, rubbing his hand up and down your arm to comfort you.

“Thank you, Jake,” you said, sincerely, heart beating fast. The way he was looking at you just did something to your insides that you never wanted to stop. He made you feel so wonderful that sometimes you just wanted to squeal with joy. It was such an opposite feeling to every emotion you had to deal with as of late. Maybe it was the whiskey mixing with the want of his lips on yours, but you’d imagined that he started to lean in closer to you. Or maybe you hadn’t, because his lips are on yours, now. He tastes like the honey whiskey you had just poured him, and smells like smoke from the bonfire you had out back. His hands, which had been planted firmly on your waist, found their way to the small of your back and pulled you into his warm body. Your heart skipped multiple beats when his tongue swept against your bottom lip, and you gently nipped at his causing him to groan. His fingers found their way into your hair, ever so gently gripping while his tongue explored your sweet mouth. Eventually, he broke away to kiss down the side of your neck, and before he made it too far, too drunk off the whiskey and the feel of your soft skin beneath his lips, he pressed his forehead into yours.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked. That wasn’t very gentleman-like of me,” he huffed, and you kissed him hard once.

“Maybe I don’t want you to treat me like a gentleman would right now, Lieutenant,” you whispered against his lips, and that was all he needed. 

*****

The blatant electronic screech of your phone alarm sliced through the peaceful silence like a knife, and you sat up quickly.

“Shut the fuck up,” you mumbled, and Jake let out a small gravelly chuckle from the sheets next to you, his face pressed into the pillow. 

“Well, good morning to you too,” he said, his morning voice making you smile. 

“Don’t talk to me like that when you have another hour and a half to sleep in,” you groaned playfully. Ass.

He sat up and pressed a kiss to your cheek, sliding out of bed. You pressed your lips together to suppress a giggle at his little butt before he slid pants back on. 

“I can drive you to work today if you like?” he offered, and you graciously accepted. Getting up to shower, you left him to his own devices while you prepared yourself for the work day. Upon opening the bathroom door, the smell of coffee and food greeted you. 

Hangman was wrapping a ham egg and cheese on a plain bagel in aluminum foil. A travel mug full of coffee sat next to the coffee pot, cream and sugar next to the cup.

“I’m not sure how you take your coffee, but I made you breakfast!” he patted himself on the back, and you kissed his cheek. 

“Thank you, Jake,” you said, prepping your coffee.

You were gonna need it today.

*****

Headcanon that made me laugh while I was at work: Mayhem gets Maverick that stupid little "absent father" toy, completely as a joke, and it becomes a running gag gift between her, Mav, Rooster, Ice, and Jake.

*****

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If I didn't tag you I am so sorry, please let me know if I didn't or it didn't work. 💕

[rebeccccccaaa]

ᴄᴀᴛ’s ɢᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴏɴɢᴜᴇ?

__________________________

ᴄᴀᴍ ʙᴏʏ/ʀᴏᴏᴍᴍᴀᴛᴇ! ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀᴀᴜ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You have always been more modest not really ever having time to explore what could have been some sort of sensual alter ego and when Bucky finds out hes determined to bring the sex goddess in you out.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: slight fluff if you count flirty bucky, smut ofc (minors dni) [cam boy bucky (slight tipsy bucky and reader in the beginning); brief male masterbation (bucky has his door open during a session); fem!rec oral; hair pulling; spanking; real dirty talking; strong language, degradation; loss of virginity/ virgin reader but not innocent, touch starved reader, and overstim, overall pretty rough but aftercareeee]

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: sorry in advanced if you don’t like iced coffee lol

_____________________________

“There’s no way; you’re such a fucking liar,” Bucky threw his head back with laughter.

“I knew I shouldn’t have fucking said anything,” you scoff, rolling your eyes before standing up with annoyance.

“No! Don’t go, come on. I didn’t mean it like that,” he chuckled.

“Yeah right,” you scoffed.

“Can I ask why?”

“I mean, honestly. I just never really had time. Although, I did avoid sweaty football players all of high school, but being in uni I just want to grind and grind, you know? Finish school and get my degree. I don’t really have much time going out and getting laid,” you explained.

“Shit, does my… ‘side job’ make you uncomfortable? I didn’t realize how you would feel about it being a vir-”

“Buck, I’m a virgin, not innocent,” you chuckled.

“Damn straight,” Bucky laughed.

“Let me help you,” he said, making you laugh out loud.

"With what?" you asked in disbelief.

"Let me take your virginity. 'S better than fucking some random drunkard in a one night stand, and let's face it, you're not getting a boyfriend anytime soon."

You couldn't help but keep laughing at what he was saying.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“You’re so full of shit, Barnes,” you snorted, too drunk to notice that Bucky wasn’t laughing.

“Offer stands whenever, pretty girl.”

That was four weeks ago.

Since then, you feel like the tension between you and your roommate was especially thick since your tipsy confession. You couldn’t tell whether the things Bucky would say now were intentionally inappropriate or you just had a dirty mind. He seemed to always be shirtless; always.

“Did all your shirts catch fire? No, they got stolen, huh?” you joked.

“Har, har. Don’t be such a prude, pretty girl.”

“I’m not a prude,” you mumbled; at least he had the muscles to flaunt.

One quiet Friday evening, you sat in your room working away at your desk. You had been at it for a couple hours and as much as you wanted to throw in the towel you were so close to finishing everything you needed to finish this weekend. You went to the kitchen to grab a snack, maybe make a coffee, before drilling for the last hour to get everything done.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Bucky said, standing with a glass of whiskey in hand. He always drinks before filming.

“Gettin’ ready for your… stuff?” you asked.

“What stuff?” he asked cheekily, making you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, I haven’t posted anything in a couple weeks and my subscribers are thirsty,” he told you.

“I can only imagine,” you joked.

“Well, baby, I’m in the next room if you wanna stop imagining,” he said flirtatiously

“Fuck off. I’m just here to get coffee,” you smirked, grabbing the things you’ll need from the fridge.

“Well, then I’ll leave you to it,” Bucky said, smacking your ass hard before leaving for his room; you scoffed rolling your eyes at his antics.

You turned around making the coffee itself mindlessly before you grew slight concern when you had yet to hear the door of Bucky’s bedroom to shut. He always kept his door shut whilst you wore headphones blasting music so you wouldn’t have to listen to his unnecessary moaning and cursing. You silently begged the machine to hurry it’s brewing as Bucky began talking and moaning to his audience.

You gritted your teeth hearing him so clearly. Your breathing quickened and you felt your cheeks heat up. You hated how you wondered if he really was as vocal in bed as he portrayed online. You hated the way your stomach flipped and the tingle between your thighs. You’ve never felt so aroused before, you didn’t know what to do.

“Fucking hell,” he groaned, and you swallowed the dry lum in your throat.

You don’t even know how long you stood in the kitchen listening to Bucky. You were incredibly aroused, wetness pooling between your thighs. Your hands gripped at the counter desperate to not let your knees buckle as he got closer to his release.

“God, fuck you James,” you mumbled to yourself.

You couldn’t take it the groans he practically was screaming from his room. You stomped your way to his room to yell at him to close the door. You were enraged but you don’t really know why. Bucky’s side job never bothered so much until now and truthfully he wasn’t really to blame for how turned on you felt hearing him.

“Can you close the goddamn door?” you yelled approaching his bedroom.

“I hate to interrupt but I can fucking hear you- in the… kitchen,” you trailed off.

Bucky sat on his bed completely nude. His cheeks were red and his forehead had a layer of sweat as did his very smooth and very toned chest. Your body completely froze. It’s not that you hadn’t seen a man naked before. You’ve watched porn during the more stressful and lonelier nights, but Bucky was beautiful.

“Care to join?” Bucky breathed with a stupid smile.

“Jesus,” you gasped.

“I ain’t forget about that offer, pretty girl,” Bucky stood, chuckling when you visibly trembled.

“Whatcha say? You ready to finally deflower?” Bucky walked closer to you with a devilish smirk plastered on his handsome face.

“I’m sorry-” you stumbled over your words.

Your stomach fluttered from nervousness and arousal, your skin bursted into chills despite how hot and sweaty you were beginning to feel. You kept your eyes trained to anywhere but Bucky’s assets.

"What's wrong, pretty girl? Cat's got your tongue?" he teased.

"James," you said sternly.

"Baby, I can make you feel so good. All you have to do is say the word," he whispered in your ear, making you shudder.

You know deep inside you that this wasn't a good idea in the long run. It sounds so tempting now but what would happen afterwards? What would happen to your friendship?

"Stop thinking so hard. Just let me make you feel good, please," he begged.

His hands caressed your sides and you couldn't resist squirming; he hasn't even touched you.

"I can tell you're starving. Itching to be touched by someone. Those lonely nights with a laptop and your fingers isn't enough. I can help you, pretty girl. Give you so much and more; give you nirvana. Just say the word," he spoke slowly, sensually; you were damn near shaking just from his words.

"Please," you whimpered.

"Please what?" he teased; Bucky was drunk off the power he had over you.

"Fuck me. Use me. Ruin me," you begged.

"As you wish."

Bucky grabbed the back of your neck smashing his lips to yours. He grinded his hips into you and you feel his hard on digging into you. Your fingers dug into the soft skin of his chest leaving small red marks and scratches littered.

Bucky moved his hand up behind your head, curling his fingers in your hair pulling harshly. his lips instantly attached to your neck biting and sucking to mark you, so you remember he was the one who made you feel euphoric in the coming days. He wants you to remember this night.

"Shit, that feels so good," you sighed.

"That's just the beginning, pretty girl. Get on the bed," he demanded.

You scurried to bed tearing your shirt and shorts off leaving you in your dark lacey undergarments.

"It's like you were ready for me to fuck you," he chuckled darkly.

He crawled up the bed to you like an animal hunting and taunting its prey. You couldn't help but nibble on your bottom lip, anxious for what was to come from Bucky.

His hands gripped your waist firmly pulling impossibly close to his body. He kissed you again and you swore you could stay like that forever. His lips felt so soft again yours, you melted against his body from pleasure.

His hands circled your back and pulled at the bra clasp before swiftly undoing it and letting free. You shrugged your shoulders to your ears allowing the straps of the bra fall gracefully down your upper arm before Bucky curled his finger over the front and tossed it aside to admire your chest.

Your shoulders subconsciously caved in, embarrassed to be so unclothed in front of someone for the first time. Again, you weren't innocent but anyone would still be nervous for their first time. Bucky smiled softly at your timidness; his hands rubbing your sides slowly and comforting to help ease your nerves a bit.

"You are so gorgeous, baby."

"Don't get sappy, Barnes," you joked; but in reality you don't need another reason to fall deeper for him. Not that you're falling to begin with.

"Yes ma'am," he grinned.

He flipped the both of you over so you laid on your back. His hands gently kneaded your breasts pulling moans from you with every squeeze. He leaned down, taking a nipple in his mouth, sucking and biting your perked buds, circling his tongue around. Your back arched into him and you think you can handle the pleasure but you find yourself involuntarily getting higher and higher. Moaning and gasping louder every time Bucky would bite down hard on your nipple. The last straw was when Bucky brought his fingers between your thighs and barely pressed against your aching clit that you fell suddenly over the edge crying Bucky's name.

"Did you just-"

"Fuck, I'm sorry! I don't know what happened. I- Everything just-"

Bucky cut you off with a deep kiss.

"Don't be sorry," he chuckled.

"It's really hot that I was able to make you cum by just playing with these beauties," he flicked your nipples and squeezed your breats making you tremble.

“Shit, too much,” you whined.

Bucky ignored you once again, dipping his head back down, flicking his tongue over your overly sensitive buds. The squeal you made made Bucky chuckle darkly but he didn’t want to torture you so his lips trailed slowly down the valley of your breasts to you belly and hip bones. His fingers curled over your panties dragging them slowly down your legs.

“Fucking hell, pretty girl. You’re dripping. You’ve just been aching for me to get my hands on you for a while, huh?” Bucky taunted.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Absolutely gorgeous.”

Bucky’s hands rested against your knees pushing them as far as they could go before diving in you like a starved man. Truthfully, Bucky had dreamed of this moment since he met you for the first time moving in. As the days, weeks, and years went by, the urge to resist kissing and fucking you stupid was getting all to much. But now he finally has you under him, at his mercy and he was determined to pleasure as much as he could before getting his cock anywhere near you.

Bucky brought his fingers to circle your entrance, waiting until your legs were nearly shaking from the teasing. As he pushed his fingers past your folds, he brought his mouth down again kissing right above your clit. You gasped and sighed in pleasure as he pumped his fingers in and out of you heavenly.

“Shit, feels so good. So, so good,” you moaned.

Bucky’s tongue brushed over your clit and you couldn’t resist bucking your hips, pushing his fingers deeper inside you. Your back arched off the bed and your hands shot to his head tugging on his dark locks harshly. Bucky’s moans from your tugs vibrated against you and you knew you weren’t going to last any longer.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum Bucky! Shit!” you shrieked.

“Come on, pretty girl. Be a good girl and come all over my fingers,” he said.

Seconds later, you reached your high, crying Bucky’s names again as if it was the only word you knew how to say. Your head practically dangled off the bed, scooting closer and closer to edge desperate to pull away from Bucky’s talented mouth.

“God, you’re beautiful when you fall apart like that,” Bucky mumbled against your heated skin.

Sweat lined your forehead and your chest, your hair was scattered across the sheets like a maniac, and your skin along your neck down to your inner thighs was littered with little bruises and bite marks from Bucky. You looked ethereal.

“One more. Can you give me one more?” Bucky asked softly.

“Fuck,” you whimpered.

“Such a good girl. I know you can, come on.”

Bucky gently flipped your body over, laying you on your stomach. He kissed down your spine, whispering sweet and kind things to you. You can’t even register what he’s saying because his godly erection is poking your ass and you're practically aching again to be railed by him.

“So eager for my cock, aren’t ya? Already being such a greedy little whore.”

“Please, Bucky,” you begged, wiggling your ass against his crotch.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna fuck you so good; gonna ruin you for anyone else,” he whispered in your ear before biting on your earlobe.

He stood tall on his knees behind you gripping your hips, roughly pulling them flush against his pelvis; you pushed yourself up on your hands. He grabbed his aching cock, the tip red and leaking with precum. Bucky doesn’t even know how he was able to last so long without cumming but he did and now all he wants to do is cum deep inside you.

“Ready, pretty girl?” he teased, rubbing your cheeks softly with his hands.

“Fuck me good, James,” you moaned.

Bucky lined his dick with your entrance slowly pushing the tip past your folds. The burning sensation caused you to hiss and tense around Bucky, who instantly stopped his movements.

“No, it’s ok; you’re just bigger than I was anticipating,” you fussed.

“It’s ok. If it’s too much you tell me to stop,” Bucky told you.

“No, don’t stop, please!” you whined.

“Don’t get greedy,” Bucky warned.

“Think you can handle all of me?”

“Fuck,” you muttered.

He pushed his hips further in you slowly, careful to not hurt you. His hands ran slowly up your body before curling his fingers through your hair and pulling your head up. Once he bottomed out, he rested for a minute until you were ready for him to move.

“Holy fucking hell, baby. Feel so good wrapped around my cock, shit,” Bucky groaned above you.

“I feel so- full.”

“‘S like you were made for me, pretty girl.”

Bucky’s hips began to move faster and faster pulling moans from you that was music to his ears. Bucky relished in your sex. He used every ounce of willpower in him to keep control but you felt so heavenly, so sublime. He couldn’t hold back any longer. You could tell that Bucky was holding back and you didn’t want him to. He pleasured you twice already, it was his turn to feel good and if letting go would do that for him you would let him.

“Come on, Bucky. Fuckin’ ruin me!”

“Don’t say shit like that,” he grunted, still thrusting his hips.

“I can take it, baby. Use me,” you told him.

Bucky’s hips stilled only for a second before you felt a sharp stinging on your right ass cheek.

“You want me to fuck you like a whore? Fine, I will,” Bucky growled before pulling out and flipping you over.

Bucky rammed his hips into you fast and rough. His hand went to wrap around your throat squeezing the sides and your eyes rolled back. Tears brimmed your eyes and you cried out over and over again. You felt used, corrupted, violated. You love it.

“Fuck, yes!”

“Shit, I’m gonna fucking come,” Bucky groaned.

Bucky released your throat before dipping his head in the crook of your neck. His groans and moans were muffled by your skin. Your hands wrapped around his neck and your legs too wrapped around his torso pulling his body flushed against yours. Your nails ran down Bucky’s back; he breathed in sharply through gritted teeth before moaning loudly in your ear from the pleasurable sting.

Chasing his release along with yours, Bucky’s thrusts became relentless. Animalistic. Feral, even. Everything felt overwhelming. It didn’t take much longer until you felt Bucky’s stuttering thrusts and the spurts of warm cum coating your velvety walls. Bucky completely relaxed on top of you, his breath heavily hitting your sweaty skin. You scratched his back softly coming down from your own high breathing equally as heavily.

“You feeling ok, pretty girl?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Yeah,” you whispered with a stupid grin on your face.

“You did amazing, you know?” Bucky kissed you softly; your stomach fluttering at the action.

“What now?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Now, I’m going to take care of you,” Bucky said, hopping off you and the bed.

You laid there breathing slowly now. You didn’t have the energy to move at this point. Your inner thighs burned deliciously and the soreness began to be more apparent all over your body. Bucky came back with a warm towel and bottle of water from the kitchen. He cleaned you up with the towel and you could help the soft moans and whimpers that escaped from you. Once you were cleaned, Bucky helped you sit up and held the now open water bottle for you to hydrate yourself. You couldn’t shake the butterflies and chills you got from Bucky’s stare. He couldn’t take his eyes off you anymore; like you hung the moon and stars for him.

“What?” you asked shyly.

“Nothing,” he grinned.

“Come on. You’ve gotta go pee,” he said carrying you in his arms towards his bathroom.

“No, I just want to go to sleep already,” you whined, voice muffled in the crook of his neck.

Bucky sat on you on the toilet and waited for you to… do your business. You just sat there squirming, and shaking from the cold that hit your body.

“Come on. You have to,” Bucky explained.

“I know, but I can’t pee in front of you. I’m shy,” you mumbled.

“Seriously, I just fucked-”

“Bucky, please,” you cut him off.

“Oh alright. Come back to bed when you’re finished, pretty girl,” Bucky said before leaving you.

You couldn’t shake the smile off your face. He was being so caring and nice to you, it warmed your heart. You felt a bit of heartbreak however wondering if this was just a one time thing. You cleaned yourself again and washed your hands before snatching one of Bucky's t-shirts that laid on the floor. When you came out Bucky was fiddling with his camera that was still set-up and your heart dropped.

Had he recorded the whole thing?

“I was gonna delete all the footage, but in all honesty you look so fucking sexy. Might keep it for myself,” he said winking.

“You recorded the whole thing without telling me?” you asked, tearing up.

“I didn’t mean to. I’m not gonna post it anywhere. You sorta screamed my name a few times so footage ain’t good anyway,” he said, making you scoff and roll your eyes.

“Hey, hey. I’m kidding. I’ll delete all of it, I promise,” he cupped your face.

“Come here; I gotta do one more thing for you,” he said, laying you down on the bed once again.

“What are you doing?” Bucky grabbed another towel and some scented lotion placing it on his bedside table.

“I’m gonna give you a massage. You’ll be less sore tomorrow morning. I’ll admit I was a bit rough,” he said, kissing your belly as he lifted his shirt off your body.

“You do this to all the girls you sleep with?” you teased, not really wanting an answer but you’ll play a part if it keeps from being humiliated because of feelings.

“Only the pretty girls,” he says, fully referencing his nickname he gave you a while ago.

“And how many pretty girls might you have?”

“There’s only one,” he whispered; his hands massaging along your back slowly, sensually.

“She must be really lucky,” you whispered too, afraid of speaking too loud.

“If anything, I’d say I’m the lucky one.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, she’s… she’s perfect. Beautiful. Smart. I could go on about her.”

“She sounds like a prude,” you joked.

“She was,” he chuckled.

“But trust me, now she’s a real feisty and sexy woman,” Bucky said before biting down hard on one of your ass cheeks.

“Ow! Bucky!” you squealed, making Bucky laugh.

Bucky tossed the towel away and placed the lotion back on the bedside table before grabbing the blankets and crawling under them with you. He held you close, entangling his legs with yours, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“You mean all that?” you asked barely audibly.

“Yeah. I do, pretty girl.”

“You don’t have to delete the video,” you smirked, making Bucky laugh out loud.

He kissed your forehead snuggling closer to you, letting peaceful sleep envelop you both.

=============================

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[yourmidnightlover]

rock

Summary - spencer wants to figure out what's wrong with you, only to be reminded what day it is and he remembers why you've been so distant.

TW: talk abt: rape, recovery, therapy, case stuff; mention of: drug addiction, rape, miscarriage, being shot, death lol

WC - 4,283

!DISCLAIMER! - i am in no way trying to romanticize recovery from a traumatic event or being upset/depressed/anxious. this is kinda my way of getting through my own issues, so please don't think that's what i'm trying to do in any way. i also don’t know how i feel abt this ending since i wrote it so long ago but oh well!

i just realized there are a few spoilers so i'll put *asterisks* around them. those parts are just explaining how the reader's always there for the team.

----------------------------------

you had always been the rock in spencer's life.

mentally, at least.

when he had nobody there for him when he was going through his addiction with dilaudid, there you were. you helped him through it when everybody else on the team acted as if they never noticed.

you were the one that encouraged him to get help, and pushed him to follow through. you made sure he ate and talked to someone when he had his urges again, even if it wasn't you.

you let him come over and cry about what had happened, and how unfair his life was. you consoled him and would tell him how nothing was his fault. how he didn't deserve anything bad in his life.

*and when emily 'died', he went to your house every day. you held him as he felt himself falling apart from losing her. you didn't even worry about yourself needing to be consoled, because spencer needed you to be there for him.

*when she came back you were the one to convince him to forgive her. you talked sense into him. you reminded him how much he pleaded to have her back, and then he did. so he managed to forgive her... because of you and your logic.

*and you weren't just there for spencer. while, yes, you made a special effort to be there for him, you were there for everyone on the team.

*when derek was arrested back in chicago and the team found out about his past, you were the one he leaned on for comfort. you and penelope. you let him cry on your shoulder and yell at you about how twisted a man would have to be to do something so cruel to a child.

*when jj was kidnapped and beaten to a miscarriage, you were the first she told. you didn't say anything. you knew there was nothing you could say that would relinquish the pain of losing a child. so you let her cry. you let her hug you for what felt like hours. you let her grief her unborn baby for as long as she needed.

*when penelope was shot, nobody cared to check up on her after the fact except you. you went to her apartment for weeks just to make sure she was okay. eventually, she was able to let loose all of her frustrations on you, and you took it like a champ. she ranted about how she just wanted to be loved by someone attractive and how unfair and cruel the world is, in spite of how much good she tries to bring into it.

*when hotch lost hailey, you took care of his files. you offered to watch henry and let hotch cry to you about losing her a few times once you broke past his tough exterior. you even cried with him and jack. you made them dinner whenever you could, and helped him look for good nannies to help care for jack.

*when rossi lost carolyn, you went to her grave with him on many occasions. you brought him his favorite scotch, which was very pricey, and his favorite cigars, also very pricey, and tried your best to recreate 'the rossi special' upon his directions. it helped him feel in control of something when he needed it.

*and when emily came back from the dead, you helped walk her through her own grief. she lost herself, and buried her emotions. you helped her dig up her old self, and grow into an even better woman. you even took care of her cat when penelope couldn't manage. you helped emily grieve her own death when she wanted to deny it ever happened, and she was forever grateful for you.*

you had become like the team's built-in therapist when something bad happened, and you loved it that way. you loved being the one the team went to when they needed it. it made you feel as though you had a purpose, which was something you desperately needed.

but when you went through your own trauma almost a year ago, you refused help from anyone. you knew you should've asked someone for help, or at least someone to cry or talk to when you needed to.

the team had been working on a case for longer than expected, 8 days now, and everyone was really frustrated. you had released the profile 7 days ago, and there was still no new information. it was as if the unsub had gone dormant, and you all couldn't bear that thought.

when the team released earlier than normal from the precinct and you all went to the hotel you had been staying at, you decided to get a drink from the bar quickly. you went alone, wanting to review a few of the case files during the process and not needing a distraction.

you ordered a jack and coke, and opened the case files to begin rereading them, seeing if you had missed anything.

victims were kept for 24 hours, filmed, raped, restrained, cut in pieces, and thrown in the trash like garbage. it was absolutely disgusting, and the worst you had seen in a while. the victims were low-risk and most of them had a place of authority.

the unsub had been profiled to be someone who was bossed around by a woman, narcissistic and egotistical, wanted to feel more power and authority.

the problem is, that profile was most people living in the area. even penelope couldn't dwindle down the suspects.

and alas, you had missed nothing. nothing new appeared or caught your eye. you gulped down the rest of your drink and paid for it before packing up your things to head upstairs. you tossed the file back into your bag and began the trek to the elevator.

you were interrupted by something hitting the top of your head, rendering you unconscious.

the team had woken up, and after waiting around for half an hour, spencer realized something was wrong. he had morgan bust into your room, only to find the bed unslept in. you were missing. and the worst part... you fit the unsubs type.

spencer felt his heart drop at the realization he had taken you. and it seemed as though there was no trail as to where you had gone. penelope checked the cameras, only to find that they were hacked right after you left the bar, and then they resumed after you were taken.

at least they had a time frame.

later that day, after everyone hasting to figure something, anything out, spencer had gotten an email. he opened it and expected it to be relentless spam, only to realize it was a live feed video. a video of you. he instantly called penelope in hopes that she could trace it.

she said she could, but it would take some time because the amount of routers it had been going through.

while they were waiting, you noticed you were alone. you knew who the unsub was too, thanks to his baffling stupidity and narcissism that lead him to believe he wouldn't get caught.

"officer johnson! it's officer johnson!" you looked around the camera for a second, noticing something moving. "he-he here," you cried out. "i love you," you said to the camera to nobody in particular, but someone in mind.

you were terrified. spencer could see it in your eyes. he could see the tears you tried not to shed. you didn't want to please him, but you couldn't help but feel the absolute horror and fear coursing through your body at a relentless pace.

"hi there, missus fbi," he teased, finally walking into the frame with a ski mask over his face, clearly not aware that we knew his identity.

spencer told garcia who he was, and she began her digging. officer johnson's great grandparents had owned a farm that was since then refurbished. it was an hour away.

officer johnson had known that you two had chemistry. that's why he sent the email to spencer. he saw the longing glares, the 'innocent' touches, the smiles you would give each other, the longing looks you shared. he wanted to torment him.

so when he began undressing you and you turned your face away from the camera in hopes of sparing some of your own dignity, spencer felt his heart breaking for you. it broke even more when he heard the yelps, and screams, and please, and "no!'s" you elicited during the act.

they caught him before he cut you, but not before he finished the first part of his plan. your skirt was ripped, and your shirt was practically in two pieces. spencer had given you his jacket to cover yourself as much as you could.

you stayed silent the ride back. you didn't even let spencer hold you like you normally would after a tough case. you were ashamed. embarrassed. you felt worthless. you felt pathetic. you felt stupid. you felt helpless. you felt like you were drowning. you felt like you were without a life raft.

you knew you could talk to the team about it, but you felt so disgusted by the thought of what happened to you that you only talked about it in your therapy sessions.

hotch had given you two months off. he wanted you to grieve, and go to therapy, and try to cope with everything that had happened.

and you did try to do that. you tried your hardest to get over it and move past it, but nothing helped. not the journaling. not the talking. not the crying. nothing was working.

spencer gave you a little space at first, but he then decided to try to help you as you had helped him. he went over to your house almost every day, and sat outside your door after you wouldn't let him in.

you knew he was there... you sat on the other side.

"i-i know that you probably don't want to see anyone right now. and i'm uh, i'm sure you feel alone right now, or like you can't talk to anyone," spencer sniffled. "but pl-please just uhm, just know that i'm here when you want to talk about it. i'm here to listen to you when you need me to. i-i don't want you to be alone during this time, y/n. please, just let me in," he begged.

that was normally what he would say almost every night he went to your house. he would sit outside for hours after he would ask you to let him in without fail. until one day you let him in.

spencer felt so much relief when you opened the door, only for it to be smashed when he noticed your eyes looked red and puffy, your cheeks were stained with the tears you had been crying for so long. your cheeks were sunken in, and there were dark circles underneath your eyes that were once full of life and happiness. your eyes no longer had that gorgeous sparkle in them.

spencer vowed he would get them back.

as much as spencer wanted to wrap his arms around you in that moment, to comfort you and tell you that he was there, he wanted you to make the first move. he wanted to tell you how strong you were and how proud of you he was for getting through that. he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

he wanted you to make the first touch, because he didn't want to further upset you. he didn't want to trigger a repressed memory, or bring back the feelings of what had happened.

but spencer's touch was nothing like the officer's. spencer's touch was soft and gentle. spencer's touch was feather-light and endearing. spencer's touch was love and home. the officer's was brittle, and rough, and repulsive.

"hug me?" you sniffled as your eyes welled with tears again as they had been for the past three weeks.

"of course," spencer slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders as yours found his torso.

he walked inside with you still in his arms and slowly shut the door. without breaking from the hug, you both walked to the couch and sat down.

you didn't say anything. you just needed spencer to keep hugging you, so he did. he did whatever you wanted, needed, from him. eventually, you fell asleep in his embrace on the couch.

when spencer looked down at you, now sleeping against his chest, he couldn't bring his heart to remove himself from you. so like any whipped man would do, he carefully picked you up bridal styled and carried you to your room. he took his shoes off as well as his sweater vest before cuddling back up next to you.

as if it was a reflex, you cuddled up into his chest when he neared you again and got underneath the covers. spencer slept the best he did in months with you. and you slept without officer johnson in your dreams for the first time since that day.

ever since then, spencer had been making sure you were eating and drinking. he took you to your therapy sessions and stayed over most nights you had asked and he was able to.

they had a few cases during the two months, so every moment he could, spencer was with you. he coaxed you back to your normal-ish self. he watched as that glimmer in your eye began to slowly grow brighter everyday. he watched as your smile came back, and your tears didn't come so frequently.

the first time he had heard you laugh again, spencer had thought he was dreaming. he wished he had recorded that moment. he was more grateful than he's ever been in his life that he had an eidetic memory, because that sound would forever be engraved in his brain.

when you returned to work, you clung to spencer. he had become your tether to reality, and hope. he had become your rock during the recovery.

over the months, everyone slowly began to forget what had even happened. things went on as usual, and the team forgot the traumatic experience you had gone through. even spencer might've let the experience get lost in his brain.

so when it became 11 months and 3 weeks since the abduction, you began to distance yourself once again.

you politely declined going out with the team a couple days before the anniversary, something you never did. you insisted that you were just especially worn out from the case you had just been on.

spencer had to finish files given to him by derek anyway, so he didn't get to witness the encounter.

once the day of the anniversary came upon you, you found yourself feeling sick to your stomach. you couldn't help the tears that would fall from your face every so often. you knew why you felt this way, but you wanted to push past it.

you had gone into the office wearing a pantsuit and blazer, wanting to avoid the normal office skirt you happened to be wearing the day it happened. you stayed at your desk and quietly did your case files. you didn't even greet spencer as you would every day. you gave him a kind smile, but you would normally give him a hug, or at the very least an eager wave upon his arrival.

spencer just assumed it was one of those days where you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. it wasn't spencer's fault he thought this. he didn't even look at his calendar to check what day it was. he just knew they had paperwork.

but he did have this day marked in his calendar. he had it marked so he would remember to be extra kind to you, and do your files for you, and come to your place with your favorite wine and takeout. he wanted to help you through the one year anniversary, but he forgot to check his stupid calendar.

you thought he didn't care. you thought the man who you loved, and the man who helped you through everything that had happened had had enough of your complaining and grievances. so, you didn't tell him about it. you didn't bother him with the terrible thoughts clouding your mind because you thought it'd burden him.

so when you finished all of your case files early, you asked hotch if you could leave early, at 2:00, because you had things to tend to. he allowed you to do so, but this rose a flag for spencer.

he saw you exit without saying goodbye to him, something you hadn't done the entirety of knowing him. you had always told everyone to have a nice night and to be safe before leaving, but not today.

finally, he looked at his phone for the first time all day, only to feel like the worst person in the world to realize what day it was. spencer felt absolutely horrible at this revelation and ran into hotch's office as quick as he could after packing his things.

"hotch!" he exclaimed upon opening his office door.

"go. she was practically in tears," hotch informed him. "and reid," spencer stopped in his tracks to turn and look at the stern man, "please make sure she's okay." spencer gave him a soft grin and a nod before turning around and bolting out of the office.

you had gotten home and immediately burst into tears. you shut the door with your back, and slid down it. you had never understood why people had done that in movies until now. you just couldn't wait to break any longer, so you settled for your front door.

you held back no wail, or scream as you cried in front of your door, your knees pulled up to your chest as you held them tightly.

you wondered why you had to go through that. you wanted to know what kind of karma there was for someone who had always tried to do the right thing to be hurt... and for nobody to even care. nobody wanted to console you, or to make sure you were alright.

you had checked up on everyone on every anniversary of their struggles. whether it be a death, abduction, anything, you had been there for every single anniversary or reminder. and nobody was there for you.

nobody was there for you to hug, or to lean on, or to cry to, or to scream at, or to rant to. nobody was there. nobody loved you enough to care about that.

but then you had to remind yourself that they all had lives.

but the person who is your life didn't even care.

spencer didn't care.

and that's why you truly lost it.

he acted like it was just another day. he acted like it wasn't the anniversary of the day you thought you were going to die. the day you wanted to die. the day you felt your most low, and humiliated. the day you lost all hope. and he didn't remember.

if the man with an eidetic memory didn't remember, it must be extremely insignificant. so therefore, you must be extremely insignificant.

spencer raced to your house. he wanted to be there for you today, and he failed. he felt like a failure as a friend. he hated himself for not being there for you when he knew you would need him. he knew how you clung to him in your time of need. you thought he was worthy enough to hold onto when you needed someone, and spencer felt elated at that.

but now he wasn't there for you. and you needed him.

he had quickly stopped by the store and your favorite takeout place to get the things you'd want. he got your wine, chocolate, food, flowers, and a teddy bear that had a sweater vest on him - you've always loved his sweater vests.

when he got to the steps of your house, he felt his heart drop. as he walked closer he heard the wails of your crying right by the door. he could sense the heartache from the edge of your porch, and felt himself feel even worse, which he didn't think was possible.

he instantly ran to the door and knocked profusely. you sniffled one last time, feeling embarrassed that someone had heard you crying your heart out. you had figured one of your neighbors heard you and wanted to tell you to keep it down, so you wiped your tears and the stray mascara from underneath your eyes and opened the door, keeping your eyes lowered in embarrassment.

"y/n," spencer announced sadly, a tear falling down his face. you looked up in confusion from hearing his voice. you noticed his tear and reached up to wipe it away on instinct.

"why're you crying? are you okay?" you asked, forgetting all of your own problems at the sight of spencer crying. spencer let out a small chuckle at your concern.

"i'm alright, aside from the fact that i'm a terrible friend," he admitted as his smile quickly faded upon seeing your stained cheeks. "i brought your favorites," he offered, holding the bag of goodies in one hand and the takeout in another.

"y-you... why?" you asked, wanting to make sure you weren't misreading the situation for him trying to comfort you.

"why?" he asked in disbelief. "because it's the anniversary. i can't tell you how sorry i am, y/n. i swear i marked it on my calendar and planned for us to take off so i could take care of you. i-i just woke up late and never bothered to even check my phone. i kn-know it's no excuse... but i am so, so, so sorry," he rambled out, already tearing up.

you grabbed his arm gently and pulled him inside before you started crying in front of your neighbors. you took the bags from his hands and placed them on your coffee table.

"i thought you just didn't care," you shrugged as you took a seat on the couch, prompting him to sit beside you.

"y/n..." he sighed as he realized how terrible he screwed up. "i will always care about this. i will always care about you. don't ever think differently. i'm just incredibly... dumb sometimes. i can't believe i made you think that," he trailed on. "i will never not care about you, y/n. i swear it. i will always, always care about you. i will always love you," he froze as he realized what he just revealed. your eyes widened, and squinted, and roamed his face, trying to figure out if he meant the words he had just sped out. "i truly do, y/n. i i’m in love with you and i'm so sorry i made it seem otherwise."

it took you a second to absorb everything that he had said.

"you too," you solemnly admitted. "i’m in love with you too. and i could forgive you... for almost forgetting," you gave him a small smile.

"i'm glad you could forgive me. i don't know what i'd do if you didn't," he relished. "you actually love me?" you nodded with a small smile.

"i have for a while," you turned your head to the bags on the table.

"oh! right!" he said, reaching for the gifts. "i got your favorite takeout, your favorite wine, your favorite chocolates, flowers, and..." he trailed on as he revealed each item. "i saw this teddy, and i couldn't resist," he smiled.

you took the bear, taking in its appearance. it had a light blue, navy, and white diamond pattern sweater vest and brown shoes on. it looked like spencer, just teddy bear form. you smiled widely at the sentiment.

"it's you," you grinned as you took it in your arms, hugging it tightly as you saw spencer nodded with a smile mirroring that of your own. "i love it," you chuckled.

"i would understand, the fur is really soft," he relished in the thought.

"i don't think he'd be as good of a cuddler as the real thing, though," you grimaced. "but he'll do for when i don't have you here i guess," you shrugged with a smile.

"i plan on being here as long as you'll let me," he said softly.

"always," you grinned, setting down the teddy bear and trading him for the real spencer reid.

"always," he repeated, taking you in his arms and squeezing you tightly as if you'd float away at any moment. "now let's dig into this food while you talk about your feelings, if you want that is," he said after releasing you from the hug.

"i think i want to," you nodded. "and spence?" he turned from getting the food out of the bag to look at you for a second. "thank you for being my rock through all of this."

"i'll always be your rock, y/n."

@averyhotchner  @greenprisca  @muffin-cup

[pigeonp0st]

Since I loved your one shot about Lena, I'm requesting another one! Reader is a single mom and is afraid to tell Lena about her child cause she thinks Lena isn't going to take it well, but in the end Lena loves her child.

Lena Luthor x Reader #2

Words: 1,590

Warnings: none?

Notes:

Thank you for requesting! If you’d like me to change the name of the kid (or the gender) feel free to say so. Also...sorry if you were expecting more of Lena. I realized at the end that there might not have been enough (Sorry for spelling mistakes too).

———

Miles, your eight year old son, has started to pretend he’s a psychologist. He’ll sit you down, with your head in his small lap (which isn’t very ethical), and ask you about your life problems.

Usually, you’ll make up funny nonsense that he’ll struggle to find the solution to...but today a very real problem has arrived, and you know you shouldn’t be trying to confide in your little boy about this, yet you decide to anyway.

He knows about you and Lena, though Lena doesn’t know about him. He saw her on TV once, was awestruck by her “smartness”, and you let slip that she’s the woman you’ve been dating.

Dating used as a loose term, because you and Lena haven’t actually become anything official. It’s...weird. Made even more so by the fact that she doesn’t know about the most important person in your life.

You tell Miles as much in today’s session. He beams down at you, happy that you’re finally starting to take his sessions seriously, and then taps his finger against his lip, thinking. “You should just tell her,” he finally concludes after a long pause.

You narrow your eyes up at him suspiciously, and wonder if you should just pretend to take his advice and move on. You don’t. “People usually don’t want to get involved with single moms.”

His eyes furrow at that, clearly upset, so you rush on. “If someone doesn’t want to be involved with you, none of me longs to be involved with them,” then, you pause, “I just want to want to be involved with Lena.”

“So this stems from past trauma?” Miles asks, and you gape at him, shocked.

“Where the f—when did you learn any of those words, honey?”

He grins at you again, clearly proud of himself, and then schools his face into an attempt of looking professional. It’s humorous. “Psy- Psych—”

“Psychology.”

“Yes, that. It says that our fears usually come for childhood trauma.”

“I’m not scared,” but even as you say that you know it’s not true. You make a mental note to watch over whatever the hell Miles is listening to, to make sure it’s age appropriate. “Even if I am, it’s definitely not from childhood trauma.”

“From relationship trauma then?”

You let out a shocked laugh, completely stumped. “Baby, your eight. If you keep saying smart things you’re going to start scaring me.”

“Let's talk about your fears,” He suggests. Clearly wanting to move on he gestures for you to sit up. Once you do, he hops up from the couch, grabs his clipboard from the coffee table, and starts scribbling down things you aren’t able to see.

“Okay,” you hesitantly agree. “I’m scared Lena will want nothing to do with me.”

“Why is that something you're scared of?”

You give him a confused look that he pays no attention to. “Obviously I like her...I also fear that you won’t.”

He nods, finally looking up from his clipboard. “And what happens if I hate her, and she hates me, so she leaves and you never speak to her again?”

You choke on absolutely nothing.

“What will you do then?” Miles asks, and you have no response for him. He doesn’t seem to want one. “You’ll deal with it, like you always have. So stop worrying until it comes. If it comes.”

You’re equal parts extremely proud of him, and extremely concerned as you think over what he’s said.

Then, as if he’s tired of being the smartest eight year old alive, he hands you the paper he was working on for half of your ‘session’. The paper is full of sharp lines that get more curvy and tangled the closer they get to what appears to be the middle.

“This,” he says, “is how you’re feeling.”

And you believe him.

———

It takes you a week to build up the courage to tell Lena about Miles. He surprisingly helped you come to the realization that holding off on telling Lena the truth won’t change the outcome.

In fact...it would probably make things more complicated. Even now, she deserved to know sooner than this.

It’s too late, of course. There’s no point in wishing you had done differently.

“Are you okay?” Lena asks through the phone, sounding so beautifully concerned over the fact that you haven’t spoken for awhile. God, you're whipped for this world-saving genius.

“Yeah,” you say, “just...you know how I said I had something to talk to you about?” You don’t wait for her to confirm, because of course she remembers, she’s looked scared because of it all day. “I sort of have to show you...so would you mind coming over?”

Yes, you’re a coward that’s hoping Lena seeing Miles for herself, instead of you telling her about him, will make her more accepting. Miles has a very convincing charm.

“You want me to go to your place?” Lena sputters, clearly shocked.

In an instant you regret the decision you were so sure about before. Maybe Lena isn’t ready. You should tell her before she comes, so she isn’t shocked out of her mind when she sees him.

You should—

“Okay,” Lena says, determined. You hadn’t even responded to her before. “I’ll be there soon.” And then she hangs up the phone before you manage to say anything, leaving you wondering what the fuck you’re doing.

You could call her back.

...you’re not going to. You’re too scared.

——

Miles waits by the door, dressed in his best suit. He knows how anxious you are about this, despite how hard you’ve been trying to hide it since your weird ‘session’, so he says he’s going to try and be the best him he can be.

You tell him that all he needs to be is his normal self and everything will be alright, but he admits to being nervous to meet Lena too, because she’s super smart. (He’s been watching anything he can find of her on the internet)

Thus, the two of you wait together impatiently, trying not to descend into madness.

——

At some point Miles starts making and handing you scribbles of how you feel, and you start making and handing them back.

It’s while you’re handing Miles your next piece that the doorbell rings.

He doesn’t look to be that nervous anymore, just excited, so he follows you on your track to answer the door, and with each step you contemplate your entire existence beyond Miles.

Then…Then you open the door.

Miles is hiding behind your leg, looking up at Lena with hesitant hopefulness and uncertainty, it’s the exact match of the way you’re looking at her, and Lena is looking at him with wide eyes.

Because you’re sure you’re about to die from the silence, you croak out a wobbly and quiet; “hi,” at the same time Mile’s sticks out his hands and says his own charming greeting.

“Hello, doctor Y/L/N here. Nice to meet you.”

“Lena Luthor.” As if on autopilot Lena shakes his hand. “You’re a doctor?” She asks, smiling the smallest of smiles at him.

He nods his head eagerly, glad she’s smiling. “Yeah! Of—of psy- psych...”

“Psychology,” You finish. Lena’s gaze switches to you. It’s the moment you think you’re gonna die, but her gaze is concerned instead of disappointed.

“He’s older than the photo on your wallpaper suggested,” Lena says.

Oh.

Oh…

You’re an idiot.

Then, Lena smiles—wider this time because of your dumbstruck expression—and looks at Miles. “To be a doctor you have to be pretty smart.”

He nods, his eyes practically full of stars.

“That’s how I know you and I are going to get along great.”

Miles grins madly, pushes you a bit to the side so Lena can come in, and says, eager, “can I show you my work, please?”

And Lena looks from you, to him, laughs a laugh full of amusement and endearment, and agrees gracefully. “I’d love it if you would.”

———

Lena adores Miles.

Around him she almost seems, impossibly, like a child herself. She so obviously and beautifully wants him to like her, and all the while Miles is almost exactly the same around her.

They’re both complete dorks trying to subtly get each other's attention and all you want to do is watch the two of them interact for ages.

They both were two separate parts of your life, and now they’re merged better than you ever expected them to.

It’s great. Absolutely great. But whenever they turn their twin gazes on you you’re sure you’re going to melt into a puddle of adoration.

Wow.

“What is it?” You ask them, after they’ve both looked at you for too long without saying anything.

Lena tilts her head, her smile concerned again, “you look like you’re about to cry.”

Miles nods his agreement. “What’s wrong mom? Does whatever bothering you stem from childhood trauma?” He asks, and at Lena’s ‘the fuck’ face you burst out into a fit of laughter, that quickly turns into tears of absolute love.

Both Miles and Lena looked at you with alarm because they don’t realize this is the happiest you’ve been in a while. It is though. It is.

“Not childhood trauma,” you assure them both, and before Miles can suggest it you add; “not past relationship trauma either, it’s happy tears.”

“Oh,” Lena stutters, “good.”

“Oh,” Miles repeats, sounding relieved and a tad bit disappointed. “I haven’t learned how to deal with those tears yet.”

[kiame-sama]

🍋 Bunny- Yandere!Adult-Trio x Chubby!Gentle!Reader Lemon

Hello my lovies~! Here is the Adult-Trio for all of you (Chrollo, Hisoka, Illumi).

Note: I do NOT and NEVER will support rape. These are stories so keep them that way. Force play is acceptable, forcing someone is rape.

Warnings; Non-con, Dub-con, consensual lemons and limes. Poly/ Harem style relationships. Hisoka's perverted nature. Illumi's absolute lack of social skills. Chrollo's manipulation tactics. Reader is sub to all three. Dom! Adult-trio. Conversations with the Zoldyck family, and the Phantom Troupe. Much confusion. Protective, Sadistic, and Obsessive yanderes. Likely to be longer than usual chapters. All three are hung like a horse.

~~~~~~~~

You sat on Chrollo's lap as he rest his chin on your shoulder, holding a book in front of the two of you with one hand. His arms wrapped securely around you, keeping you caged against his bare chest. His warmth seeping through your clothes, his jacket laying over your front like a blanket.

It was nearing the end of a job for the Phantom Troupe and most had gone off without a hitch. The only 'issue' that came up were the incessant questions from the Troupe.

Chrollo had never told them he had a significant other, and surely you would tell them more than their stoic leader. Uvogin was likely the worst about it, closely followed by Nobunaga, then Machi. But all of them were curious about you regardless.

Chrollo would allow them to ask their questions until they took too much of a flirting tone, then a single glance from him sends them away. They figure that he must be furious if he was willing to tear his eyes away from his book. Problem is, he considers anything other than questions involving him as some kind of flirting.

"Since when do you have a girlfriend!?"

"... I'm his fiancé..."

"You're getting married!? How long have you two known each other?"

"A while."

"What-? Where did you even come fr-"

Uvogin quickly fell silent as those intense steel eyes locked with his. Okay. Off-limits question.

It didn't take too long for the Troupe to catch the hint that their leader wanted some space so they quickly backed off, giving him some much needed room.

"They didn't even notice."

"Ch-Chrollo... I said I didn't want to..!"

"Shh... No one will ever know. You have to stay quiet though, or else they'll figure out what we've been doing. I just want to feel you for a bit, it doesn't have to be for very long."

You bit down on your lip as his unoccupied hand rest beneath his jacket, silently rubbing your exposed heat. He had been for a while now. It was a good thing the troupe explained away your blush due to nerves.

It didn't take much movement from him to unbutton your pants, sliding them down your thighs until you were exposed enough for him to tease you. He hadn't turned the page in a long time, likely due to the book only being a front to throw off the troupe. You stifled a whimper, slightly arching your back.

"Chrollo..!"

"(Y/n), I promise you, they won't catch us. So long as you keep that beautiful voice of your's quiet, they will never know."

"... Promise?"

"I swear to you."

You didn't respond to his reassurance to keep the scandalous behavior secret from the others. He took your silence as a 'yes' and deftly unbuttoned his pants, sliding you back by your hips to rub your soft pussy against his aching cock. You had no idea how on earth you were supposed to be quiet with that monstrous length being stuffed into you. Sometimes you couldn't help but shiver in anticipation, knowing what a stretch it was taking his entire length into you.

Chrollo lightly kissed your shoulder, lowering your hips and allowing gravity to help him sink into you. Your entire body tensed at the almost painful intrusion, sitting as still as possible to get used to it. Deep breaths from the male behind you drew your attention to how still he was sitting. He was typically unable to remain still for so long, but it seemed like he was being patient today.

"I'm going to start thrusting just a bit... I need to feel your tight walls massage my cock."

"But, Chrollo..!"

"You can't expect me to sit completely still while buried to the hilt in my most precious treasure."

"They'll notice..!"

He hummed and the book began to faintly glow in his hands before a kind of bubble shield wrapped a full dome around the two of you with at least a 10ft radius. It must be a skill he stole... But what did it do?

"Now they won't see us. All they see is an innocent couple cuddling. They can still hear us, so stay quiet, but now I can bend you over this pillar and pound you into the ground like I want to."

"Chrollo, you said you just wanted to feel for a bit, not a full session..!"

"You're always so naive, I can't help but deceive you just to see how much you still trust me."

"But-"

Your whimpering complaint was cut off sharply by his lips firmly pressed into your own, his hips now bucking up roughly into you. There was no choice but to keep your lips locked with his to keep all of the moans inside. The jacket falling from your shoulders as he used his free hand to pull up your shirt and bra, allowing your chest to bounce freely.

He broke the intimate kiss and bent you over the fallen pillar, as promised. You began panting helplessly as his thrusts forced all of the air out of your lungs, nails digging into the chipped stone. You had to put your head down to try and muffle the noises that were fighting to get out of you.

Your body began to shake as he continued to bury himself into you, keeping one hand firmly on the book to keep the illusion from disappearing.

"Mmm~ I do love riding you like this... Do they do it too? Can they ride you to the point you're drooling and a complete mess?"

"N-no..! Only you..."

Trying to keep your voice from squeaking out or getting louder as you responded to the black-haired male. He was right, he was best at riding you like this in comparison to the other two.

"Only me."

You bit harshly on your hand, feeling that burning coil winding up inside of you. Your whole body began tensing from the pleasure bubbling up in you. It didn't take long for that coil to snap as you cry into your hand.

Your whole body spasmed with every following thrust before he released into you, moaning softly into your ear. You whimpered softly as he kissed your neck, slowly pulling out of you. You stayed in that position, laying out over the pillar and catching your breath.

You knew he was staring at you, pleased with what he had done to you and the mess he made of you. He was the most intelligent of your partners and he had a way of making you convinced you want him. He was skilled in letting the other two drive you closer to him for seeming more stable mentally and emotionally. A light chuckle met your ears and you glared over your shoulder at the amused male. He watched you closely with a smirk on his lips, his hair ruffled from the usual slicked back style.

"Fuck off, Chrollo."

"Not likely. I'd rather keep fucking you, but it seems I managed to tire you out."

"... I told you I was already tired. Not my fault you didn't listen."

He just chuckled again and casually fixed his clothes, slicking back his hair once more. Once he was pleased with his appearance, he gently rubbed your back, pulling your clothes back on and pulling you back onto his lap. You were exhausted and happy to settle for laying back against his chest, pulling his jacket close and snuggling down.

"Careful. Keep moving against me like that and I won't be able to hold myself back."

"That sucks. You've already fucked my brains out today, so now you get to be my heating pad."

"(Y/n)-"

"Heating pads don't talk."

You felt his chuckle more than you heard it, as it rumbled softly in his chest. When you two were settled once more he removed the illusion.

Thankfully, it seemed that the others were none the wiser about what the two of you just did. Chrollo, seeing how tired you were, decided to be merciful and lay along the pillar with you laying on his chest. It was rare for Chrollo to lay down, even when he slept, so you understood the surprised and confused stares from the troop.

You didn't honestly care what they were thinking as you lay across their leader's chest, lounging on one of the most terrifying men in the world. Some would call you crazy for it, but you were desensitized to being in the presence of dangerous people.

~~~~~~~~

You lay across the comfortable couch with your head resting on Illumi's lap as he silently watched you. Illumi being the more emotionally challenged one of your husbands, due to his life-long training as an assassin.

You were trying to take a break from his mother's consistent pestering. She clearly adored you and was thrilled at the idea of you being her daughter in law. To your surprise, Illumi's father was also fond of you. It surprised you because the man rarely ever spoke and you had been halfway convinced he didn't like you in the slightest.

"My dear, I had one more question."

"Mother..."

"Hush, Illumi. I can ask my future daughter in law whatever I want to ask."

"..."

It wasn't hard to tell when Illumi was frustrated- at least for you- but his mother payed the glare no mind. You went to sit up before a firm hand gripped your shoulder, keeping you in place. Illumi's eyes were typically the best way to read his emotions and the look he gave you told you to stay where you were.

With a soft sigh, you settled back down with your head in his lap, letting him gently pet your hair.

"Okay, well, it's a few more questions. But I want to know how you two met?"

"We met-"

"It doesn't matter how we met. She's here now, so that's all that matters."

You wanted to sigh at his dominant behavior, deciding to fully sit up, much to Illumi's frustration. If his parents noticed his hostile behavior towards them, they didn't mention it. He still fought to make you lay back down, but you were done with his bad mood.

"Illumi. Stop."

"..."

"Now."

"... Fine."

He moved his arm, allowing you to sit up, but as you settled next to him he wrapped an arm around you as if to stake a claim. His behavior must be typical for a Zoldyck due to the lack of reaction from his parents.

"We met when he killed me on accident."

"I didn't-"

"So my heart stopping was just me taking a nap?"

"..."

"Apparently I was close to his target and he missed."

"... I didn't-"

"So you meant to hit me?"

"No."

"Then you missed."

"... Yes."

"Is that why you get so upset when asked about it?"

"... No"

"... Are you upset because you technically killed-"

"Stop."

"So, that's a 'yes' then."

You chuckled softly at the clear pout Illumi had on his face. He still refused to talk about that moment when your heart was stopped by the poison he typically used. He even went as far as to switch the toxin he used, apparently despising the poison that killed you.

That day was the same day you met Chrollo and Hisoka.

Chrollo was the one who revived you and Hisoka endlessly bugged Illumi about it. Chrollo was the first to take interest in you, apparently finding your 'energy' fascinating. Hisoka quickly followed suit, loving the way you responded to his teasing. Illumi was technically last to gain interest in you, though he did as well for your fascinating reactions. It was as if he felt the need to protect you like a lion and the lamb kind of story. all of this happened in the span of an hour.

From then on, all three have been rather aggressively pursuing you. Texts, letters, sticky-notes, gifts, showing up in your home, showing up any time you went out, things like that. You then had to deal with their constant attempts to one-up each other and their consistent fighting.

Once the fighting escalated from verbal to physical, you had to step in before they killed each other. It was surprising to you that all three were ready to kill for you and you could tell they weren't going to take 'no' as an answer. The next best was to agree to give all three a chance at having a full relationship with you. It quickly became apparent there would be no breaking up with them and if you chose one the other two would kill him.

This is how you wound up having three fiancés.

You had Illumi break the news to his parents about being engaged and about the fact he was one of three. They apparently took it rather well and you were stunned when Kikyo complimented you for getting the full attention of the three dangerous men you were currently engaged to. Silva never said a word about it and Illumi never told you how his father had responded to the news.

"Illumi! How could you have missed your target with all of the training you've done?"

"Drop it."

"Were you just distracted by (y/n) when you met her and that's why you missed?"

"Stop."

You could tell Kikyo's chiding was beginning to get to Illumi, watching his eyes burn with anger and some other emotion as his arm tightened around you. You knew how quickly Illumi could snap when he was in such a mood so you tried to cut the conversation off before it got to that point.

"You said you had other questions?"

"Hm? Oh, right. What last name do you plan on taking? I know there's Illumi's, but what of the other two?"

It was a damn good question. You had no idea what last name to take once you were wed as there were the last names of your three husbands and you own last name. So you had the choice of any of the four options, but you knew if you chose just one it would displease your other husbands.

"Probably all of them. Just hyphen the names together as my legal name with my maiden name first so there are less documents to deal with. I can just switch off which name is most beneficial for me depending on the situation."

"... Silva, she's perfect."

You couldn't help but chuckle at the kind words, knowing that you at least had the approval of Illumi's parents. Illumi was still holding you close to him, clearly done with this nonsensical questioning. Illumi wasn't the easiest to rile up, but his temper would always break when Hisoka or Chrollo were mentioned during 'his turn' of keeping you with him.

You also knew that Illumi had one hell of a dominance kink that played into how possessive he was of you, only fueling his aggression towards your other fiancés. You hoped his mother would stop asking questions, for your sake, due to the fact Illumi became very forceful when angered. He was already rough, given just how intensely strong he was, so you would rather not add anger into the mix.

"Which of them do you care for the most-?"

"That's enough. This conversation is over."

Illumi sharply stood and picked you up in his arms a bit too tightly, carrying you away from his mother's prying. You felt a stir of fear in your chest at how angry Illumi was, knowing what usually resulted from it. Illumi wasn't the kind of guy who took 'no' as an answer and you knew it.

Doesn't mean you wouldn't try though.

He easily made it to his room, closing the door behind him and pinning you to the bed. Illumi could only burn off his frustration and anger in two ways. First; killing whoever made him angry. Second; fucking you roughly into the nearest surface. Since the first wasn't an option as he wouldn't kill a family member, that only left the second option.

"Wa-wait, Illumi-!"

"No."

Your following plead was silenced by the rough and almost painful kiss, trying to struggle in his grip. He was already to the point that his eyes were becoming glazed and he was becoming lost to the feeling of your skin. He wasn't one to feel much of anything, but there was an addictive quality to you that he desperately wanted to overdose on.

Everything would fade away into the background and out of his mind so long as you were pressed up against him. He wasn't typically the kind to let himself get lost in an emotion. He was always rather cold and calculating, but the simple bliss of turning that logical mind off for once and riding an emotion high... Intoxicating.

"Illumi- Illumi, stop! You- you're being too rough!"

He didn't respond, trying to keep his lips locked with yours for as long as he could, ripping at your clothes. Typically, Illumi knew his strength and kept it in check to not hurt you, but when he was angered he would lose himself in the taste of your lips and sound of your voice. It wasn't very often it happened, as he had rather consistent control over himself, though there were times like these that you knew he wouldn't stop.

It didn't matter to him if he hurt you or you didn't want him at that moment, it was what he needed and so he would take it. He would worry about the rest later, when his primal desires were satiated and he had worked out enough energy. Usually, after coming back to himself and realizing his behavior he would apologize and would cuddle you for however long you wished. He would treat you like fragile glass unless you say otherwise.

That was hard to do as an assassin who had been trained to ignore everything beyond his orders and family. He always has such little control when it comes to you. Having no prior experience to indulging in his desires, just a small slip of control would spiral down into needing to partake in his only vice, you.

He ripped his own clothes off along with yours, leaving every part of the two of you exposed. There was a low growl of pleasure rumbling in the back of his throat, slowly growing louder.

He ducked his head down, catching one of your pert nipples in his mouth and putting his hands under your back, forcing you to arch up into his touch. You squirmed in his grip, winded by his sudden and aggressive behavior paired with his almost desperate need to have you. He licked and bit at your soft skin, letting his mouth trail over whatever exposed flesh he could get to.

He almost seemed frantic, as if he were worried you would somehow be gone in a few seconds and he was trying to get in every touch he could. He was practically panting like an animal during a rut, grinding his hips against yours wildly.

It didn't take long for him to bury himself into you, his eyes rolling back in pure euphoria. He rapidly began thrusting into you, the force of his wildly bucking hips moving you up and down the bed.

"Mine... You're mine! I won't let you get away from me, you can never leave me."

"Ah-! Illumi ple-please you're being too rough with- with me!"

"I'll break you for me. So those two don't get to have you ever again."

Your body spasmed and twitched helplessly beneath him, your body slowly blocking out the pain with mind numbing pleasure. He bashed the head of his cock into your tight cervix until it gave way, wrapping like a vice around his rock-hard length. You wrapped your arms around his neck while hitching your legs over his hips, it was all you could do to hold on.

Pleasure shot into your brain along with the pain you felt, the feelings quickly consuming you. You knew the pleasure was rising up into a fever pitch when his brutal and rapid thrusts began to lose their rhythm. Similarly, you could feel that white-hot coil of ecstasy threatening to break, each violent thrust sending you closer and closer to the abyss.

As soon as the coil within you snaps, you had to press your lips to his in order to stop yourself from screaming loudly enough that the whole house could hear. You felt the growl that tore through his throat more than you heard it, each flooding pulse making him spasm in short, rough thrusts that only continued to over-stimulate your nerves. Once he had gotten every ounce of his cum into you, he slowly withdrew from your tight womb, returning to his senses.

"I apologize. I did not intend to lose control like that. Did I injure you?"

"No more than you usually do... But for my sake, please stop fucking me exclusively in your anger. There's only so much I can take."

"I... Will work on my self-control for you."

He conceded that you were in the right and that he was the one who had messed up in that exchange. He wrapped his arms around you and lay next to you while he gently rubbed your back, apologizing for his wild behavior. You shivered lightly, feeling caged in the arms of a tiger.

He was more animalistic than people gave him credit for. Possessive of his mate, poor social skills at best, silent hunter that never gets caught. He was just a refined animal, a stealthy and lethal predator among clumsy prey. It only took times like this- laying curled up in his arms- to make you realize just how dangerous the men who latched onto you really were.

It hadn't fully set in when you first agreed to date the three of them, but it was never going to be just dating. They were ready to kill one another, like three predators fighting over a mate, though you felt more like prey.

A Serpent, a Fox, and a Spider all fighting over you. What started out as a small competition to win you became an absolute obsession to have you. They only don't kill each other to not fall out of favor with you and it would be inconvenient. This meant a lot of tense moments when the three are together as if they'd just as easily kill one another even though it seemed they were friends at some point.

This meant that only your shared affection for them made them hesitate. You were the cute chubby little hutch bunny surrounded by the wild and aggressive top predators. You could never have known how dangerous they were when you first encountered them. It's one thing to be a criminal, it's another thing entirely to be on top of the criminal world.

The Phantom Troupe was notorious for stealing everything they wanted, no matter what kind of trouble they have to go through. The Zoldycks were the top assassin family that not one person scoffed at the name, both in fear and reverence that no one can stop them. Hisoka was the top of the list for being a well known Sociopath, going after everyone and anyone no matter what that person was to him prior.

You had never known- in your safe little home- what kind of world existed beyond your docile life. The darker side of the world that gentle girls like you could never even dream of. But by gaining their attention you may as well have been thrown in between the three with a leash already secure around your neck.

You were in great danger but you were also one of the safest people on the planet, secure in the arms of the most dangerous people in the world. If anyone was stupid enough to try, not a hair on your head would be touched without extreme ramifications. They may have spats with each other, but they loved and wanted you more. They put away their deadly desires towards each other and continued killing everyone else.

What is more terrifying then one of the top criminals of the world? Three of the top criminals of the world working together towards a common goal. At that point, if they're coming after you with the goal to kill, some divine being must hate you with a passion.

It didn't take long to accept their insane desire for you, deciding you wouldn't be able to escape one without all you know being destroyed, you're triple fucked now. You left your life mostly behind, seeming like one of those foolish girls who runs off with trouble only for their heart to get broken. But it wouldn't get broken and you weren't doing this for you, you were doing it for everyone you cared about.

Sometimes one must be offered up as a sacrifice to keep their world from spilling over into yours. People would die and cower in fear, others will swear hatred against everyone involved, and you would be responsible for it all. Besides, though they terrified you a good bit sometimes, you could still occasionally forget their status and treat them like any fiancé would be.

They're quite amused with letting you seem like you have the dominance, but being the real danger that lurks behind and always makes sure you know who your doms are. The three teamed up just to get you, and now they aren't letting go.

~~~~~~~~

Hisoka was the more... Mentally Unstable... Of the three of your soon-to-be husbands. There were times you worried he would kill you instead of marry you, but that was apparently just part of his charm. He was unpredictable, setting off every danger-bell in your head. A real-life monster who just wanted the burn the world. He was also the one to treat you to whatever you wanted and absolutely wanted to spoil you rotten.

The ends were always worth the means to Hisoka so he smothered you with affection and gave you everything without fuss. Sometimes he felt more like a hot insane carnie-sugar-daddy than you expected given how the other two used such things to manipulate you. It was like an indulgent pet owner who just loved to spoil their little darling with everything.

This also meant he was one hell of a service dom and craved to watch you become delirious with bliss. Seeing you just drowning in pleasure before he would even put his cock in you. It probably didn't help that he was quite the sexual deviant and knew exactly what to do to break you for him. This worship kind of manipulation is what got him going.

He always enjoyed a good fight and they made him just oh so excited, but he would easily settle for a good 'wrestle' session instead. But something lit a fire in the openly sexual being. Something about you drove him mad and he wanted you- the little bunny- to snap your teeth in frustration at him or to open you legs for him. Either way, you were just too fun to give up for any reason. None of them would ever get bored with you and if one was invested, the other were as well.

It was once just a competition against each other, though that quickly became an insane obsession over you. All you did, all you were, everything about you, was what they wanted. That challenge between each other became just an added pride bonus instead of the focus of their game.

No. The real prize was you.

Hisoka would shower you in affection and do whatever it took to make you mewl and moan. If you didn't want to play, he would typically back off and take care of it himself unless he was in a blood lust, in which case he can't stop. In one of his blood lusts, he only had two functions; kill or fuck, so the obvious answer was the second option.

He slowly trailed his lips over your shoulder, massaging your back as you lay face-down on the bed. You could tell he was enjoying the massage as much as you were, if the hardening length on your back was anything to go by. You loved the fact that he could tell you were tired and in need of some general love and affection.

You had been rather tense given the situations you had been in prior to joining Hisoka. Though Hisoka seemed as if he were the most frightening or stressful to be around, but surprisingly he was not. If anything, Hisoka was the one you never had to worry about in your stressful life. You knew he was more of a loner and he was not aggressive towards you as he was others.

His hands were warm and gentle against your poor tense back, paying special attention to the firmer knots. It almost felt like he was smoothing out the deep muscles that had been so tense just moments before, letting you absolutely melt into his touch.

You let out a long moan of pleasure as warmth seemed to spread through your body, feeling relaxation fill your body. A light kiss at your shoulder reminded you of Hisoka being attached to those heavenly hands on your back.

"Mmm~ Look how cute you're being... Just letting all your little moans out."

"A-ah... Hisoka..!"

"Just like that."

You whimpered softly in bliss, feeling shivers run through you as his nails gently scrape over your skin. He used enough pressure to work your muscles but not enough to sink his nails into you. There was little chance you could ever be more comfortable than you were at that moment.

Getting a nice long warm bath that pulled your worries away. Cuddling up in a soft towel and just letting Hisoka brush your hair gently, allowing you to lean into his comfortable touch.

"Falling asleep on me~?"

"Mmm... Kinda..."

"Then I'll just have to wait for you to wake back up."

"You don't have to..."

"Have to..?"

"Wait. I mean... If you wanted to, I would let you..."

A soft chuckle came from his chest, making you look up at him. Hisoka was rather skilled in getting you to beg for him, since he refused to take advantage of you unless you explicitly tell him to. And he was the one out of your three soon-to-be husbands that you always enjoyed having sex with.

He was pleased with any position or location, so long as it is you he's with. Even if you wanted to top, he would be happy as ever to be a switch. So long as he was able to have you melting into cute little moans, he was pleased.

"You asking for me to fuck you even if you fall asleep? Is that what would would like for me to do to you?"

"I wouldn't... Say no."

"Want me that badly~? I'd be happy to do that for you."

"... please?"

"With pleasure."

He gently rolled you onto your back, grinning as he looked down at you, seeing your bright blush. Your soft body was completely on display for him and he gently trailed his fingers over the bruises and marks the other two left behind. That's not to say he doesn't mark you, but he does it more intentionally and with purpose.

"Look how roughly they treated you... Tsk, this won't do at all. Here, let me kiss it better."

He gently ghosted his lips over your neck, pressing soft kisses any time he found a bruise or mark on your body. You mewled and moved your hips slightly as he trailed down, kissing around your breasts and giving a light lick at each peak. It was almost maddening with how slowly he was going, each touch leaving you burning for more.

He ensured to go over every little mark on your body, worshiping your soft skin and loving every mark he found. Sometimes, you were self-conscious about the lightning like scars on your skin, but somehow Hisoka made everything okay. That nervousness didn't really go away with Chrollo or Illumi, even though you know they don't judge you. But there was still a part of you that hated those scars until Hisoka got to them.

He behaved as if you were some delicate renaissance painting that needed to be shown gentle love and affection, even with any marks that may have formed. For how much he loved to mercilessly tease you and poke your last nerve, he was one hell of a considerate lover. If you didn't enjoy it or if it made you feel inferior, he would downright refuse to do it. He would only ever do things you wanted him to do to you, and he got pleasure from giving pleasure to you.

His kinks revolved around the way others reacted to him. Anger and frustration towards him easily get him hard, but blushing and mewling from his actions? Oh, you must be trying to make him cum sounding like that.

Fair to say, he would be rough when you wanted him to be and he would pleasure you endlessly regardless of being gentle or not.

"I think right here needs the most attention."

"Whe-? Ah! Hisoka!"

The moment you had tried to look down your body at him, he began to leave long licks through your folds. His nose pushing at your clit as he sensually dug his tongue into you. You let out moans and cries as you arched your back from the sensation filling your mind.

You wound your fingers through his flame red hair and held on, crying out in bliss from the intense pleasure. You could feel his smirk as he only doubled his efforts, moaning out against you and pressing closer. You couldn't stop the loud moans that ripped from your throat, whimpering from the slick feeling of his skilled tongue.

He move his tongue in thrusting motions, putting your legs up over his shoulders, intentionally trapping himself. He hummed against you and gripped your soft thighs, pressing them against his face.

You could feel that coil of pleasure inside of you winding rapidly from his continued attention, his eyes almost completely rolled back. He was gripping your hips in order to move them against his mouth, wanting you to practically shove his face into your heat. You were panting heavily at this point, gripping onto his hair like a lifeline as the pleasure built.

As if every nerve in your body was buzzing with electricity, your cry was harsh and guttural the moment that pressure broke. You could barely stop your legs from tensing and tightening around his head, holding him securely in place as the pleasure burned through you. Being the kind of person Hisoka is, he ensured to continue thrusting his tongue into you to make your orgasm last longer.

Only when you fell limp on the bed did he finally pull away, licking his lips sensually and licking your slick from your thighs. Say what you will about him, but there was no denying the fact that Hisoka has one hell of a tongue. You let your body relax into the sheets as he moved up, caging your body with his and hovering over you with a grin.

You looked up at his messy red hair and bedroom eyes, feeling a light pressure against your sensitive heat.

"Seems you enjoyed that~ Don't worry, unlike the other two, I know how to please you until your delirious."

"..."

"Do you still want me to fuck you to sleep?"

"... Yes."

"Good."

He let you dig your nails into his shoulder as he slowly slid into you, letting out deep moans from the pleasure and pain. It was around this time that he usually began to lose his grip on his self control, but he still maintained a slow and steady tempo. He was watching your cute little expressions each time he sunk into you, loving the way your glassy eyes stared up at him.

He maintained the slow pace, only speeding up when you began to doze off, bringing you straight back to consciousness. The slow building pleasure seemed to be consuming all reasonable thought in you, letting you drown in the feeling. You could feel the heavy pulse of his heartbeat deep within you from his cock, feeling every rivet and point he pressed up against.

You couldn't stop the whimpers of pleasure and the shaking of your soft body as he continued to thrust into your warm insides. He was beginning to lose his self-control, his hands tightening on your hips and his thrusts gradually gaining speed. Again you felt that coil of pleasure winding tightly inside of you and you couldn't stop your moans that grew louder and louder.

"Are you gonna cum for me? Let your tight little pussy milk my cock..."

"Mmm... Hisoka..!"

"I'm right here. Sink your nails in and feel that I'm here with you~"

You did exactly that, feeling a light trail of blood from where you dug your nails into his toned body. His thrusts were firm enough to move you up and down on the bed, your eyes rolling back. Something was different about your building orgasm that made your toes curl and your spine tense. The pleasure running through your body was all consuming, making your cry harsh and loud as the coil within you snaps.

You were faintly aware of his continued thrusts as your body jerked and twitched helplessly beneath him from over-stimulation. Each movement practically tearing through you like individual orgasms in their own right. When he finally reached his orgasm, you were drooling and delirious.

Your muscles continuing to pump and squeeze his cock as you attempt to calm down, feeling every heavy spurt of cum painting your insides. When you finally went limp, Hisoka was grinning widely down at you. Oh, how fucking cute you are, making such sinful faces and noises just for him.

Well... Him and two others. Much as he wanted to slaughter them and claim you as his prize, he knew it would upset you and push you away from him. That was just something he couldn't allow.

So for now he just grinned down at you, watching you slip into sleep from sheer exhaustion, still clamped down on his deeply seated cock. He was happy to sleep now and take advantage of another round later, knowing that you came back to him time and time again. He would be the best lover you will ever know.

Who knows? Maybe he'll even win you fully with his continued attention. Maybe.

Not likely.

[unkownknowledge]

Genshin characters and their spider s/o

A little crossover HC post between terraformars and genshin.

Basically the reader is the result of a messed up experiment and now they look like a monstrous humanoid spider, like this guy:

Except you have no human skin or hair, just pure chitin, extra legs out the back, and mandibles(like a turian)

Also: request are still open, feel free to request!

Including: Jean, Xinqiu, and Razor

_____________________________

Jean: hollow knight

_____________________________

Jean had been receiving reports of frightened merchants and townsfolk, all of whom had been found on the road ranting about a giant spider.

Jean was sure it was nothing more than hilichurls or hoarders or abyss mages and the people were merely suffering panic induced hallucinations, this was supported by the clear signs of such dangers at the scene of the crime.

But still, neither any of the knights nor adventurers in the guild reported saving these people, nor did Diluc claim that he did when she asked him.

So Jean decided to investigate, after all not only is there a chance of finding camps of the three above dangers, but also the chance of finding a new ally.

When she saw you in a clearing you looked like a normal human, until you turned your head in an inhuman manner and looked at her with eight red glowing eyes.

You screamed at her and used your geo vision to grow eight giant legs out your back, which you used to run away.

Jean, being the persistent woman she is, wasn't about let you go until she confirmed if you were a friend or foe.

She chased you through the forest for a while, and unfortunately didn't notice a group of hilichurls hiding behind some trees.

One swung out and struck her from behind, knocking her to the ground.

At the sound of this you turned around and saw Jean on the ground.

While she easily could have beaten the hilichurls, she didn't have to. This is because you were immediately next to her, sword drawn and slicing through the monsters like a hot knife through butter. Your geo legs acted like extra blades that parried any attack directed towards the knight.

Because you're other legs were busy, however, you were unable to block the attack from a crossbow that shot right through your knee.

You fell down and were beaten senseless by the hilichurls, the last thing you remember was the sounds of a blade and the monsters turning to dust before you blacked out.

You woke up on a soft bed inside an unfamiliar building. You tried to get up but your knee had a large hole in it, luckily for you your ability to feel pain was long lost.

Jean entered a minute later with some food, "good, your awake."

"Where am I?" You asked.

"In my home, the guest room to be exact."

"Why did you save me?"

"Because you were in danger."

"Yes but why? Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Considering how you saved me as well? No, not at all."

Jean poured some tea for both of you, "now onto-"

You felt your eyes water, something you didn't realize you could still do.

"What's wrong?" Jean asked.

"It's just, it's been so long since anyone was...nice to me. My appearance isn't exactly very welcoming."

"And yet you still help people, the same people who call you a monster?"

"Of course! I might be an abomination, but I'm not a monster. In fact, before I became...this I had always dreamed of joining the knights."

"Well, that makes things easy."

"What do you mean?"

"While I cannot officially make you a knight, I can make you an honorary member of the knights of favonius."

"REALLY!?" You said, a child like excitment on your face.

So you joined the knights, of course not everyone was happy about this.

But noone doubted the acting grand master's decision, after all she never once failed the city.

After a while the city warmed up to you, even hailing you as a hero thanks to all you've done!

But the city's attitude towards you wasn't the only thing getting warmer.

Infact, a certain person's cheeks seemed to grow red as Amber's ribbon at the mere mention of your name.

Lisa and Kaeya were the first to notice Jean's infatuation with you, and they were quite intent on helping her.

It would be easy for them to set it up: you were cold blooded, so you had a heater in your room during the winter, and thanks to a 'freak lightning strike', your house was under renovations for the whole season, this caused Jean to let you stay in her home until yours was repaired.

Now all they had to do was sneak in an 'cool it' down.

You awoke in the middle of the night due to the temperature suddenly dropping. You tried turning on your heater but that didn't work. You went downstairs to make some hot tea, unaware that Kaeya swapped the labels on Jean's coffee and your tea. After making the beverage you sat down in the warmest corner, covered in blankets, and with a warm drink in hand.

Fun fact! Spiders get hella drunk off caffeine.

You are a spider.

One sip of the coffee and you felt funny, you couldn't think straight and felt wobbly.

Kaeya and Lisa giggled watching you.

"So, how DID you get them drunk? You couldn't exactly have spiked their tea could you?" Lisa asked.

"I swapped the labels on their tea and Jeans coffee. Spiders get hella drunk on-" Kaeya noticed Lisa worried face, "fuck, what did I do this time?"

"Kaeya, spiders don't get drunk on caffeine like humans do with alcohol."

Lisa pointed Kaeya towards the window

"Whoops"

Caffeine doesn't make spiders drunk the same way alchohol does a person, which is what Kaeya expected.

Caffeine makes spiders hyper, very hyper.

When Jean heard skittering and clanging she thought someone was robbing the house, so she was reasonably surprised to see you lying in the center of the kitchen, crying, and with webs all over.

When she asked what happened you just rolled over and mumbled out gibberish about how you can't catch any flies.

Jean picked you up to take you to bed, but you wrapped your arms and legs around her and caused her to fall.

"(Y/n), please let me go." Jean pleaded.

You shushed her, "nap time" and fell asleep.

Your grip was to strong for her to get out, and with your weight she couldn't get up in this position, so she just had to wait for you to get up.

The next day Jean got up the same time as you, she would have said something if you didn't kiss her and pet her head.

"I love this dream." You said, nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

Jean was shocked, what dream? You were clearly awake.

"I wonder if Jean is this warm in real life....I wish I could find out..."

"(Y-y/n)" she stuttered out, "you're not dreaming."

You shot up with all your eyes wide as saucers.

You immediately thought of running. But where would you go? The forest? Yeah, that works, just go there a-

You felt a warm sensation on your cheek.

"So (y/n), how does this dream usually go?" Jean said with a suggestive wink.

.

.

.

"(Y/n)?"

404 error, reader.exe has crashed

After that rather unconventional confession session, you both started dating.

Jean was concerned about not having enough time for you, but that proved to be very unfounded. Thanks to your many years alone you didn't know what dating was, so to you simply working together was fine.

On every mission out of the city you would bring gifts or a picnic for when the sun was setting.

On days where you both had paper work you would make tea and buy little cakes or biscuits and sit on her lap as you rested on eachother's shoulders and fed each other snacks, under the excuse that "sharing a chair saves space".

On the rare occasion Jean gets to have a day off, she showers you in affection.

She'll make you breakfast in bed(it's not good 80% of the time, but you don't tell her), she'll cuddle with you all day, she'll even read to you if you want. She wants to give back to you for all the time she couldn't give you her full attention.

_____________________________

Xingqiu: it's like one of my Inazuman graphic novels

_____________________________

Your meeting with the guhua geek was far more coincidental.

You were just minding your business, catching some animals to eat, when some weird guy just walks by you, not noticing you at all, as he reads his book.

You were rather suprised and, by extension, curious about this boy.

Was he blind in peripheral? Was he that brave? Was he an idiot?

A bit of colum B, mostly colum C.

Xingqiu sat down on a rock and continued reading, given how he was reading aloud you figured you might as well take advantage of his lack of notice and learn to read.

But he did notice.

"Ah shoot, spaces out again." Xingqiu cried, "now I have to start all over."

Xingqiu started reading the book all over again, much to your joy.

You could easily match his words to the page thanks to your speed of comprehension.

When the boy noticed it was getting late he decided to head home, while you were upset you didn't try and stop him. In fact you immediately darted away before he saw you.

The next day he came back, and read from the same spot.

And again

And again

This went on for quite some time.

Xingqiu knew someone was watching him, but he never was able to catch a glimpse. He just figured it was someone who wanted to read legends of the shattered halberd but couldn't find any copies, and so the chivalrous thing to do would be to read it for them.

One day he finished the fifth book and proclaimed it was the last one, which made you rather sad.

Until he spoke to you.

"Well my secretive friend," he turned around, "shall w-"

You screamed

He screamed

For about five minutes.

After which you both just stared at eachother.

He pointed a shakey finger at you, "you're-"

You turned away, 'a freak I know' you thought.

"SO COOL!"

"What?"

Xingqiu immediately ran at you and started inspecting you.

The whole time he had such an amazed look on his face.

"Woah!" He said as he grabbed your mandibles, "are these real?!"

"Ye ey are, a ah ee e ah a" you said hoping he would understand that you need them to talk.

"Oh. Hehe. Sorry." He said releasing them.

"Aren't you...scared of me?" You asked.

"Why would I be? If you wanted to kill me you would have. It's not like I was particularly on guard when I was reading for you."

'Y-you knew I was there?"

"I knew someone was there, and I knew they were watching me read. Since you showed such interest in my book I thought the only chivalrous thing to do was to keep reading."

You were shocked, most people just ran and screamed upon seeing you.

"Now, shall we go look for the sixth book?"

After that you and Xingqiu became fast friends.

He used some of the money he made from the scam he pulled on that scammer to buy out the forest you lived in, making it officially private property so that people won't go after you.

He kept coming back with books for you both to read, you absolutely loved it!

And while you never realized it, you also loved him.

He however, did know he loved you.

Being the menace to society he is, Xingqiu decided the best way to confess was to just kiss you.

You're sitting on a stump with your head on Xingqiu's shoulder.

"This book isn't as good as the others." You say.

"Ah don't be like that, fairy tales are the foundation of all those 'knight in shining armor books' you love."

"Yeah but this is boring."

"True, true. But I think it has a great ending." Xingqiu turned to the final page, "and then the knight told the (royal title) how much he loved them, and to seal his love he placed a kiss on their cheek."

"That wasn't good."

"Why? It was very realistic."

"In what reality does someone confess by kiss-"

*smooch*

It took you a solid five seconds to process what happened.

Xingqiu smirked at you like the bastard man he is, "this one I believe."

Your mandibles hung slack as your face got a dark shade of blue.

"Uh, (y/n)?"

"Clothes off, now."

Xingqiu stumbled out the forest four hours later. Chongyun, who was protecting his privacy, asked him what's wrong.

"Absolutely nothing." He responded with the largest grin a human could muster, before his legs gave out, "can you carry me home?"

Your relationship was more steady than just that bit though.

Xingqiu spent as much time with you as he could, he even learned how to hunt so he could be with you while you hunted for food.

You never left your forest though, you were far to afraid of people and especially the vigilant yaksha(which Xingqiu tried to convince you was friendly).

Of course, not everything goes so simply.

Xingqiu was skipping through the forest, far to enamoured at the idea of you to notice someone following him.

You sat calmly on your rock and awaited your boyfriend of two years, today was his birthday so you made him a beautiful silk picture of his favorite scene from 'the legend of the broken halberd'

You felt the boy drop into your lap, "hello my love!"

You wrapped your arms and extra legs around him, "hello my little knight, I have a wonderful gift for-"

"XINQIU! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"

You both turned around to see a man who looked oddly like Xingqiu.

"H-hey big bro..." Xingqiu said, clearly nervous.

"You're his brother?" You asked, "nice to meet you! I'm your future sibling in law!"

His brother looked surprised, then angry, "Xingqiu, a word."

"No," he responded, "anything you can say to me you can say to my (s/o)."

"Xingqiu, this is not a game."

"ANYTHING," Xingqiu said, far more aggressive, "you can say to me, you can say to them."

His brother sighed, "you can't date them."

"I believe I can."

"XINGQIU! ME AND FATHER HAVE TOLERATED ENOUGH OF YOUR CHILDISHNESS! YOU ARE AN HEIR OF THE FEIYUN COMMERCE GUILD, YOU CANNOT DATE THAT-THAT THING!"

Xingqiu shot up into a fighting stance, "care to repeat that?"

Xingqiu stared down his brother with murderous intent.

"So you wont back down?"

"Never, I love (y/n) to much!"

"If you don't leave them, you'll be disowned by father, all your wealth, power, and influence will be forfeited. All for an inhuman freak!"

"Xinqiu please," you tried telling your beloved, "I won't let you sacrifice-"

"Sorry darling, but I don't give a damn." He interrupted you before turning to his brother, "I will NOT abandon my beloved (y/n)! They are the most precious thing in the world to me! So go ahead! Strip me if my title, my riches, of my very skin! My heart will yearn for nothing else but the cold hard touch of love that is my (s/o)!"

Xinqiu's brother smirked

"So, you promise to always be with (y/n)?"

"Yes!"

"Through both sickness and health?"

As smart as he was, Xinqiu couldn't see what was happening, "with all my heart and soul!"

"And you would take (Y/N) as your contractually bound spouse?"

"I would sooner bite my arm off than live another day without them as such! In fact!" Xinqiu turned to you, "(Y/N)! WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW! COME ON!"

"Hold it!" His brother demanded, "(Y/N)! Would you stay with my brother, Xinqiu, through sickness and health, through rags and riches?"

You nodded, "forever and always!"

"And would you take him to be your contractually bound husband?"

"E-even if I had to fight Rex Lapis himself!"

Two burly hands grabbed the couple and pushed them together, "You may now kiss the bride!"

Without thought, you two kissed each other, not thinking to question the cheering, clapping, and crying-

You both pulled apart, "what the abyss is happening here?!"

The burly arms, now wrapping you both, was an older crying man who also looked like Xinqiu.

Xinqiu's Brother was crying and clapping.

Chongyun was blasting off party cones(🎉🎉these things)

And several other of Xinqiu's friends were there celebrating.

"W-wait..." Xinqiu started to remember that his brother, as a high ranking member of a commerce guild, can officiate marriages.

The older man, Xinqiu's father, cried and said, "finally! Grandchildren!"

(If you can't have babies, adoption exists and is perfectly normal)

Needless to say

404 error, Xinqiu.exe and Reader.exe have stopped working

_____________________________

Razor: the big bad spider and the itsy bitsy spider

_____________________________

(Please understand that my knowledge of Razor is based on his quest, I know of his special vision but it won't be brought up for this. I will be sure to read the wiki page for him if I write him again)

Razor knew something was wrong.

His wolf side told him something was wrong with the forest, and his human side told him it should be either avoided at all cost or destroyed.

Because it had stayed away he had largely tried to just avoid it and keep his lupical away from whatever IT is.

Until a foolish pup decided to try and defeat whatever big bad monster had their protector so scared.

Razor ran faster than any lightning bolt upon hearing the news.

Razor didn't know what he was seeing: giant webs strewn out covering entire trees, boars and Hilichurls wrapped in webs and frozen in a sickly green.

And at the center of it all was a giant, monstrous creature with eight leg like roots coming from it's back, feeding off the life of all the creatures stuck here.

This is what he was afraid of, the beast that every inch of his primal self screamed to get away from.

But he couldn't, not until he found the pup!-

"Hello." You said calmly to the strange man coming into your home, "is this your's?"

You outstretched your hand and a sleeping pup drifted towards razor on a flower.

"He caused lots of problems, so I made him sleep. Don't worry, it's nothing permanent, give him an hour or two and he'll be right up."

After Razor left, you assumed that would be the last disturbance for a while.

But it wasn't.

Razor's wolf half still feared you, was still mortified when he pictured your spider like face, your towering body, everything.

But his human half...teembled.

Not in fear, but in a different way.

He couldn't stop thinking of you, and his primal upbringing did little to quell the less romantic thoughts about your gem like eyes, the way your mandibles clicked and moved when you talked, the overwhelming nature energy that you radiated.

But he still knew good enough to get to know you better.

Just not HOW to do it.

"Why are you spider?"

Is not a good first thing to ask.

But you explained regardless: you were taken as a kid and experimented on by some rogue students from Sumeru academy.

Then some purple lady rescued you, and while you were grateful you much preferred living out in the wild.

"Yes...wild is good! Wolvendom, especially good!"

Someone please help him.

"Purple lady....ah! Shockey wizard lady from knights?"

You nodded

"Razor good friends with her and honorary knight! Do you know red flamy girl?"

"Klee? Oh yes! I love her! She's such a nice kid!"

"Yes, Klee is like lupical! Even if she...burns down forest from time to time."

Lucky for him, your shared familial love for the pyromaniacal minor helped bridge the gap between you two.

Eventually he even got you to leave your grotto(?) And meet his lupical!

He introduced you to the wonders of actually eating rather than just sucking the life force out of animals.

You both love and protect the forest of wolvendom, and if any large threat arises to it then you both will fight fang and claw to protect your home!

Neither of you know what love is in the human sense, but you both feel it to each other and act upon it: giving each other a portion of your food, taking blows in battle for each other, and cuddling more intimately than just friends would.

You are his lupical, and so much more.

_____________________________

I started this near last year's end, it took me till now to realize I should only do 3 characters.

(Paging: @golden-wingseos, @storytravelled)

[mistaeq]

I recently found out I'm pregnant. I'm new to tumblr as well so sorry if I'm being weird. Can you do some headcanons for the bucci gang finding out their s/o is pregnant. I really need the sweetness and I'm really interested in seeing your writing in the future. I hope you're doing well in this time.

Bucciarati Gang: Finding out Their s/o is Pregnant HCs

TW // none

First of all, congratulations for your pregnancy dear! This beautiful request put a smile on my face. And you're not being weird at all, I hope you enjoy the result of your request!

Also big thank you to @golden-narcissus for giving me a good piece of advice for Abbacchio's HCs ^_^ check their blog too, they awesome !

Pregnancy Headcanons, kinda fluff, fem!s/o

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

BRUNO BUCCIARATI

When you show him the pregnancy test, he'll immediately meet your gaze, looking for a joke. Hoping to find none. He'll be so happy, he won't be able to say anything.

He'll hold you the tightest he can, your foreheads touching and your eyes closed. His hand will travel to your belly, gently caressing it.

"That's amazing, dolcezza..." His eyes will be very teary, but he'll do his best not to cry. His hands will be a little shaky, though. Touching you and knowing how fragile you are now, makes him tremble.

Sticky Fingers cries, though.

You had talked into trying to have a baby, you both felt ready, but you hadn't stopped taking your pill, yet. That's something unexpected, but in the perfect timing.

Bruno asks you to wait, before giving the news to the gang. He just wants you two to take a little time to gather your thoughts and talk about your future.

You have no doubts: Bruno will be a perfect dad. You just hope he won't start doubting himself during your pregnancy.

He will grow twice more protective of you. Understandable. Everybody wants to kill him and he doesn't want you to end up in this danger.

GIORNO GIOVANNA

He stares at you with an incomprehensible smile, when you hand him your pregnancy test. He almost looks like a dreaming angel. His eyes look like a starry sky.

He, Giorno Giovanna, had a dream, and maybe now he has a new dream. He feels like a flower has just bloomed in his chest. But it's blooming in your belly, instead.

Giorno gently kisses your belly. You have been trying to have a baby for a while, but every attempt was a failure. He had almost begun to think he was sterile. It would have been ironic, knowing his stand's power.

Giorno immediately starts promising you stuff. You'll be setting up a room for the baby soon, he's planning on growing a garden to play in with his babies, and stuff.

You have to stop him before he promises you the Moon as a gift. His mind already is projected into your future, he has big plans for you and your babies, if you're willing to trust him.

Gold Experience grows a beautiful bouquet from a vase for you. Plus, it starts transforming small objects into ladybugs and butterflies to celebrate.

Giorno has no time to cry. Literally. He's just being so happy and positive, tears have no place on his face, right now.

LEONE ABBACCHIO

He doesn't know how to react. Honestly. He just stands in front of you, staring at the positive pregnancy test in your hand. You probably want him to take it and smile, or at least say something.

He's about to have a panic attack. Seriously, his heart is racing at a dangerous speed.

"Y-Y/n... will you give me a minute...?" that's what he says, before closing himself in his room. You imagined something like this could happen. He's not angry nor sad. You know he's happy. He just needs a little time to calm himself down and realize.

You listen to him, through the door. And hear your own voice. Moody Blues. He's replaying you giving him the pregnancy test with Moody Blues.

He cries out of happiness, in his room. Abbacchio cries a lot. But he doesn't want you to know. So he just waits ten minutes more, before actually coming back to you and apologizing for how he behaved.

Still, he's not ready to tell the gang about it. He wants to enjoy your secret. He'll probably just tell Bruno. Abbacchio can't lie to Bucciarati.

He'll be your big spoon every night since you tell him about your pregnancy. He loves resting his hands on your belly.

GUIDO MISTA

You're sitting on the couch, when you hand him your pregnancy test. You had never talked about having a baby, and that's absolutely unexpected. But fuck. He feels happy.

S c r e e c h e s. Then bursts into tears. He jumps, he laughs so hard you've never seen him like that.

He'll fall on his knees in front of you, then snuggle his face onto your belly, wetting your shirt with his teary eyes, while you're sitting on the couch.

The Sex Pistols are on cloud nine. Number One is tearing up, jumping and laughing with Number Two. Number Three is punching Number Five. And screaming. Number Five is crying. And crying. Number Six is holding onto your belly, and Number Seven is flying around you as fast as a jet.

"Y'all! Oi! My amore is pregnant! Aspettamm 'nu criatur! (Neapolitan dialect for "we're having a baby!")"

As soon as he knows you're pregnant with his baby, he'll start doing talking sessions with your child in your belly. He says they can hear him. You try to explain the baby is only a bunch of cells now, but he insists.

"Is it the pregnancy or are your boobs bigger."

NARANCIA GHIRGA

"What's this? A thermometer? Have you got a fever?"

As soon as he figures out that's a positive pregnancy test, he'll burst into tears. This is too much for Narancia's little heart. He'll start panicking, but surely not like Abbacchio. Narancia is loud.

"S-so you have like... a little human? In there? Mine? ... Uhm... sounds splatter."

Forgive him, he's just Narancia. He doesn't know how to deal with something like this. He just babbles nervously and tries to touch your belly. Obviously, your belly isn't growing yet, you just found out. But Narancia says that it already feels different.

He'll let Bruno and Mista lecture him about taking care of a new life. Surely taking care of teenagers or taking care of the Sex Pistols isn't as difficult as taking care of a baby, but their advice is like pure gold for him.

He will tell the gang. Like immediately.

"Guys, guys! Guess what now? Y/n is pregnant!" nobody is surprised. You had told them before telling Narancia. You needed advice on how to tell him.

Every night, during your pregnancy, Narancia will sleep curled up next to your belly. He wants to hear it, if the baby ever moves.

FUGO PANNACOTTA

When you show him your pregnancy test, he thinks about you first, before exulting. He brings you into a calm and serious conversation about whether you'd like to keep his baby or not.

You two haven't talked about having babies before, this is unexpected, and the fact that he's so mature to talk to you about it clearly, warms your heart.

Also, obviously you want to keep it, and he's relieved, because his heart was pounding out of happiness, and now he knows he can express it without bothering you.

He advises you to try a second pregnancy test, just in case the first one was wrong, but you already did. You wouldn't give him such a news without being sure first.

You admire him so much. Even if his heart is exploding in his chest, he's trying his best to talk calmly and seriously about your future.

"You don't have to keep calm for me... You can cry, Fugo..." he can't imagine such words can hit him so hard. He cries. He just needs to let it out. He usually does with anger, but there's no anger in him now, only happiness, and he needs to let it all out.

He just tells Bucciarati. He needs peace to gather his thoughts, and receiving neverending questions from Narancia or Mista would drive him crazy and angry again.

[anxietysroomsupport]

Hypermobile anon here. First, thank you so much. It's just nice to know there's someone here for me. And to give a little more info, I have a serious problem where if I'm not currently in pain. I don't remember how bad it was. I know everybody does this, but my brain literally checked out as I was going to bed recently and I fell on the floor. I nearly forgot to tell my physical therapist.about it because it didn't really hurt. So, I can't do the pain scale very well, and I never remember (1/2)

(2/2) It just makes it sort of hard for pain relief when I don't know I'm going to need it and don't have the energy when I do. Also, on the vitamin subject, I know that I've had vitamin d issues before (bad heat exhaustion and allergy scares = going outside less), bad enough that I was close to being diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I'm not sure about the others, but I do know I'm not amazing healthy, so? I take calcium pills for the vitamin d, though. Again, thank you guys for all your help.

.

We just got a bill from my PT place that says we owe money that we can't pay. They told us up front how much it would be with our insurance, and my mom's been paying each time, but it says we owe 177 dollars. Sure, it's not a lot, but we're not rich and trying to send a sibling to college. If we can't get this sorted out. I can't just not go. 10 exercises I can do at home and 5 appointments is not enough to help a chronic disorder. I cant focus and I have practice in 30 mins. -Hypermobility anon

Same day but later when I'm feeling a little better (my director was very supportive though so that's nice), I'd seen the letter and heard my parents talking a bit, but my mom told be as we got to school for rehearsal about PT. I got upset, and I felt bad because I could tell she felt bad because she didn't expect me to be upset, and in the heat of the moment I said "chronic illness" in front of my mom for the first time. She loudly (not quite yelling) (1/?) - Hypermobility anon

said to me "That is the most self-pitying thing I've ever heard. Chronic illnesses are like cancer". Sure, I probably should've said disorder and not illness, but I'm scientifically right. Then I said "It is, it's chronic pain, I am always in pain" and she said "Well then clearly PT isn't helping anyway" - I??? When I went in after 15 minutes after another girl, since we were both there for an hour and a half, I decided to stop trying too much to hide my crying (useful masks) (2/?) -HSD anon

since the other girl was in the hall to eat, and when I managed to explain to the director, she was understanding and nice, and when I said chronic, she said that I should never have to live with that, especially at my age. And when I mentioned not being able to sing at that moment from my crying, she pointed out how I was singing an empowering song that was about standing against the bad stuff in life, and I was perfect for it. I know my mom was just mad, but it just drained me.

Sorry I keep sending asks so often, I just feel like telling someone this. I decided to put 'zebra' in my bio. It's a thing that people with EDS and HSD sometimes like to call themselves. I like it, so even though I just have my name and pronouns, plus a random joke, in my bio, I added it. It just feels like a step in the right direction to remembering that I don't need google to tell me I'm dealing with this every 5 minutes. Accepting it, I guess. :) -HSD anon

.

My sleep schedule just keeps getting worse and I think it's my ADHD combined busy days and pain but I just never want to sleep anymore. I can't, I don't want to, and it hurts physically and mentally to just lie there and see if I can fall asleep. 80% sure my circadian rhythm changed to sleep at about 2 am but I get up at 7 and have a chronic disorder that's getting worse because of this I *need sleep*. And I'm so scared I'll mess up, want to make a side blog for it but want to make one (1/2)

for something happy first because I always figured that if I had side blogs they would be ask blogs or for fandoms or whatever. But I got a little better at not caring what other people think, so I haven't really needed one for fandom. But I looked through the tag and felt so comforted by some of the stuff that I just think it would help me. Maybe I'm just extra bad tonight because I went outside but also talked about it a fair amount with a friend I hadn't seen recently who didn't know. -HSD

.

I wanna talk to my physical therapist about hip braces because I tried a knee one we have and it honestly helps, but my hips are worst so I wanna see if it would help, but they're pretty expensive. It's hard to find dual hip braces, from what I've seen in my research, and even though one more than the other, both cause me issues. Idk, I'm conflicted, because it could help but is it worth all the effort? Also, even if it's under clothing it's still physical evidence (1/2) -HSD anon

(2/2) of my "invisible" disorder. Also, stopping exercises for a few days because of not feeling well from my covid shot reminded me of just how much time I spend on them, so it's another thing to deal with this. . . Idk, sometimes I just wonder if it would be better to just deal with it. I still have pain anyway, though it might be a little better. Less often, maybe? I don't really remember. It's not stressing at the front of my mind all the time, but the back of it. I'm just conflicted. -HSD

.

HSD anon here, idk if I mentioned it in an ask already, but recently I had a small breakdown because I was watching something where a character was in a car accident, as was trying to push through having trouble walking even with a hip brace. After a minute, I registered it and just thought "That could be my future". My joints had already been acting up and then they got worse, so I don't know if it was cause and effect? But I don't exactly know what to call it other than a trigger. (1/2)

Physical and emotional effect, at least I'm assuming on physical because I've had a bad reaction to something similar before, but like, I don't have trauma, I think it's more fear of the future. And I don't want to use trigger incorrectly, it's insensitive to those who actually have triggers. I'm just so confused.

Forgot to sign the last ask with 2/2 and HSD, whoops.

.

Hfnsiwk I'm not ready to walk into PT tomorrow and say that I don't think months of PT have been helping but I have no way to be completely sure because for all I know it's the weather since this is the first year I've known/it's been noticeable. Maybe it's just change, I don't know, but it just feels like such a waste of time if it really didn't help. Plus, I'd stop, and while that'd be great, I do enjoy being stronger, even if it didn't help pain. I have 12 hours and a bad pain day idek. -HSD

.

Hi Hypermobility Anon,

I think I found all your asks and got them in the correct order.  And found your last ask!

I’m so glad you kept writing in.  I think you should go ahead and make your side blog - you definitely have enough material for it.  Wanting to make a happy side blog also is a great goal to have, but if you don’t know what it will be yet, don’t let that prevent you from doing something you know you want to do and that will probably help you.  

You are dealing with So. Much.  Your mom especially sounds like she just is not ready to accept the situation.  It’s not self-pity to state your actual conditions.  It’s just reality.  

Forgetting about pain is normal, and really all you can do is try to write it down or make some kind of note about it in the moment or immediately after, so you can refer to it later.  Maybe you can track your pain events in your phone notes.

I think your idea to add “zebra” to your bio is a good one, this is part of your life and just something you have to deal with.  It sounds like you’re finding a community for this.  

Sleep schedules are tricky, and feeling like you desperately need to sleep can make it so stressful that it starts a vicious little cycle.  Some strategies to get around this are First, remember that just resting is okay and helpful too, even if you don’t fall asleep.  Letting your body lay there to rest is good for you.  

Second, if you’ve spent several minutes laying down without falling asleep, its okay to get up and walk around, or any small light exercise that’s comfortable for you.  The goal with this one is to get out of the bed for a bit.  It will help your brain to re-learn that the bed is for sleeping only, not for laying awake.  That association can help signal to your brain to start its sleep-process when you get into bed at night.

Third, it’s really common to have a changing circadian rhythm during your teens and twenties.  That’s just a thing that happens and you can’t do much about it, so just try not to worry too much.  Sleep when it feels right and when you can, instead of trying to force yourself to sleep when you’re “supposed” to.  

If hip braces would help you, you should definitely at least mention it to your physical therapist.  You might research online for any used ones as well.  A physical sign that you have pain can have good and bad consequences, but I think the good consequence of being in less pain far outweighs any others.

The triggering event you described is not so much a trigger as it is just a genuinely really upsetting situation.  You related really strongly to the character you were watching, because they’re dealing with similar problems to you, and to problems you could have in the future.  It’s a lot to process.  But while you could potentially be in a car accident, remember that television is made to dramatize events and probably made it seem a lot more difficult and scary than it really would be.   

Since we know you sometimes forget your pain, it’s safe to say that the exercises are helping you manage it, and you say that they’ve made you stronger in general.  Those are good things, and I would recommend you continue the exercises you can do on your own even if you end of ending  your physical therapy sessions.  We don’t know yet if your pain might have gotten even worse without therapy.  You’ll have to find that out on your own if you stop exercising, and then decide whether it’s more worth it to you to continue exercising or to live with the pain.  Whichever you choose, it’s Your choice, Your body.  Take care of yourself. <3

-bun

[addictofsupernatural]

OHSHC Rewrite: Episode 3b

Beware of the Physical Exams!

Host Club x reader

Summary: When the hosts convince y/n to get help, she finds trouble instead.

Word Count: 5.4k

Episode Masterlist

"Y/n, we've come here today to talk about a problem regarding you."

You looked around nervously, and began your verbal diarrhea. "Okay, um, first of all, I want to say I'm sorry. I know it's our number one priority to make the clients happy, and I was side tracked, and that's on me. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have been unprofessional with Alarico and that's super my fault. I know I need to get 100 guests and I'm only at 39 but I can do better, and again I'm really sorry for everything about yesterday, and—"

"Y/n," Kyoya cut you off. "This has nothing to do with your quota, or Alarico Gonzalez's behavior."

"Oh." You said dumbly.

"This is about your anxiety attack."

"Oh." You grumbled, though you quickly regained your composure. "I'm sorry you had to see that senpai."

"It was no trouble, and I've read that they can be very sudden and frightening to those who get them." He stated.

"We're really worried." Hikaru said.

"Yeah," Kaoru agreed. "When Kyoya told us, we had no idea how to help."

"You have to take care of yourself y/n-chan." Honey clutched usa-chan.

"Yeah." Mori said.

"That is why," Tamaki said, pointing to you. "We've decided to set up an appointment with the school therapist today!"

"Woah, let's not take it that far. I'm okay guys, really."

"You didn't look okay when you had trouble breathing yesterday." Kyoya stated.

"That was just a little hiccup!" You explained. "Things happen. I'm okay now, which is more important, right?"

Tamaki stepped up to you. "You're going to therapy, and that's final!"

"No." You said forcefully. This struck his feelings, and he sulked in the corner. You sighed. "I'm sorry I worried you all, and I'll be careful next time. I don't want to waste time and cut any classes so a therapist can tell me depressing things. I just want to forget about sad stuff here."

You gave them a smile. "Well, she seems unmotivated." Hikaru stated.

"But how are we going to get her to agree?" Kaoru asked.

Mori then thought of something. "Squishy ice cream."

That struck a nerve. You gasped and carefully looked at them, and Tamaki then got up. "That's right~ You were so busy last episode that you never got to try any, did you~?"

"Did you hear that?" Hikaru whispered mockingly. "She's never even tried squishy ice cream before. Isn't that sad?"

"Talk about a tragedy." Kaoru whispered back.

You nervously laughed. "C'mon guys, you don't really think of me as such glutton because I'm poor and never had it that I'd force myself to go to some therapy for some ice cream would you?" You kept nervously laughing, and everybody else smiled at you. You then quietly asked, "What time is the appointment?"

"We knew it." The twins said.

You scoffed and smiled. "You guys are something else. Why do you even care about this?"

"Don't refer to yourself as this!" Tamaki exclaimed. "If you need anything, know that I'm always here for you."

"You mean all of us are here for her?" Hikaru asked.

"As I said before, you are all the homosexual supporting cast!"

You let out an involuntary laugh. "Really senpai? Supporting cast?" You asked, walking over to them. "That's a little self absorbed of you." You then thought of something. "Can you guys do me a little favor though? Let's keep the therapy sessions to ourselves. My clients get worried easily and I feel weird when they get curious and ask me about my issues."

"Well, your appointment is right after the physical exams," Kyoya explained. "So that might be an issue."

"Alright then," Tamaki announced. "Gentlemen, it's time to enact The Keep Y/n's Secret Safe Plan!"

Later that day you walked with the twins to the physical exam, though the line was going to be too long to not miss your therapy session. When you went in there, your mouth hung open. "What the hell is this?!"

"It's just a regular physical exam." Hikaru said.

"I've seen malls smaller than this." You whisper shouted, speed walking to hold each twin by the arm, timidly looking at all the people and fancy stations. "This is so out of place for me. I feel so awkward."

They paid no mind to you gripping onto them, or at least tried not to. "Seriously y/n, you need to stop being amazed and scared at everything here." Kaoru said.

"I was amazed and scared of the host club when I walked in. Look at us now." You offered. Neither of them said anything but looked down at you. You then saw Mori and Honey dressed up in doctor attire. "Wait, what?" They put their fingers over their mouths shush you. "So obvious." You muttered.

"I have those two for back up in case this plan doesn't execute properly." Kyoya came out and explained.

"Why are they in doctor uniforms?"

"It helps set the mood." He pushed up his glasses. "Disguises make our mission feel like a real espionage."

You watched the doctor encourage a girl as three other nurses clapped for her. "This is weird." You said. "All the staff here are actually nice."

"Of course." Kyoya said. "All staff is chosen by the chairman. It is a school, but it's also a business. He wants the students to be happy, and most students here already have their own doctors for their families. So this, is just a formality."

You quietly scoffed and shrugged, shaking your head. You and the twins kept walking when someone bumped into Kyoya, and Kyoya's gaze lingered on him.

"Huh." The twins then began taking off their shirts to do their exams, and girls started squealing. "See now?" Kyoya asked. "Physical exam day is quite popular with the ladies."

"Hm. My physical exams in y/c had us also do exercise. Everybody was rude and just wanted to get everything over with, and that makes more sense than this." You then shook your head. "But girls here would probably still be squealing for that too because sweat is apparently attractive too."

The twins were being themselves and girls continued squealing. Mori and Honey took this as an opportunity to push you into a corner nobody was in. Tamaki then caught you from behind. "I've been waiting for you princess." He said in your ear.

"Tamaki senpai?" You turned your head.

He giggled in your ear. "You're so cute when you're surprised." He then stepped back. "This is it, the inevitable moment."

"What are you gonna do?"

He shushes you with his finger. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." You felt your cheeks tingle. That was until he put on a wig and stepped into the exams area. "I am ready to take the exams." He announced in his best impression of your voice.

"Hey, is Tamaki trying to dress as a girl?" One girl asked.

Tamaki was shocked, as if he didn't realize people would notice. The twins then bursted out laughing. "He actually did it!" Hikaru laughed out.

"I can't believe he didn't know that wouldn't work!"

Tamaki blushed and angrily grabbed Hikaru. "Why didn't you tell me it wouldn't work?!"

"It's payback for calling us homosexual supporting cast!" He laughed out.

Tamaki looked over at you shyly with big sad eyes. "Um, listen y/n," he timidly said.

"Did you really think that would work?" You asked, and your tone showed that it was a genuine question. He said nothing but pouted, causing you to glare at him. "Big words senpai. Small execution."

"Come this way y/n," Kyoya said. "There's a private room waiting for you."

"Senpai, you look like your enjoying this." You smiled at him. Tamaki dropped to his knees in the background.

Kyoya was smiling as well. "Well, I did need to get my revenge too. I don't appreciate being called supporting cast, homosexual or otherwise."

You both walked away as Tamaki weakly reached for you while fading away. You then went into a room with a female nurse. "Good morning Miss Y/l/n. It's a pleasure to meet you. I've been informed of your circumstances, so we can hurry along this process."

"Thank you ma'am."

"Of course. Step right this way please. You can undress in there." You nodded and stepped inside the dressing area.

The boys were listening to this girl cry about a doctor who supposedly made a pass at her. "I've never been so terrified." She cried.

"How scary!"

"Do you think he was a pervert?" This girls were huddled around her for comfort.

"I had a feeling this might happen." Kyoya thought out loud. "Earlier today I saw a strange man in a white lab coat, though clearly not one of our doctors.

"Shouldn't you have said something sooner?" The twins asked in an annoyed manner.

"I'm sure it's no big deal. I'm sure the security guard will catch him." Kyoya offered.

They still listened to the group in the back. "Tell me," said a doctor. "Did you see where this man went?"

"Yes sir, he was headed towards the private clinic down the hall." The boys were all silent as they realized that he was going to your room.

You had just unbuttoned your shirt, leaving you in your bra. You were about to take off your pants when a man went into your changing room and was peaking outside. It was almost like he didn't see you. "W–um, excuse me, but—"

He rushed over to you and covered your mouth with his hand. "No, it's not what you think. Please just be quiet."

"Y/n!" You both turned to see Tamaki in the air. "Tama-chan~ kick!" He kicked the man in the face and sent him flying into the wall. Tamaki then spun in the air a few times before coming down to the ground.

The twins then appeared. "One. Good looks that attract the public eye."

Kyoya then stepped out of the shadows. "Two. More wealth than you can imagine."

Mori then spoke up. "Three. Chivalry that will never be able to overlook,"

"The hideous wickedness of this world." Honey finished.

As you hugged yourself Tamaki gently placed his own shirt over you. "That's what make up the Ouran Host Club!"

They posed, with an exception of Mori and Kyoya, saying, "We're here, watch out!"

"Please don't hurt me! Spare me my life!" He bowed as you buttoned up Tamaki's shirt. He then got back up. "I run a small medical clinic in the next town over."

You were taken aback by the sudden fact. You looked at Honey, whispering, "Why is he telling us his life story?"

Honey shrugged, and you all listened. "My name is Yabu." You suppressed your laughter, since Yabu is another word for quack doctor. "You see, I came to find my daughter. My wife left me a month ago and took my daughter with her! I know that my daughter goes here."

You sat down to be at the same eye level with him. "Well now that I'm invested into the story, I gotta ask. What happened to make them leave?"

He explained that he kept giving people money and they don't usually pay them back. The latest time was the last straw, and they both left. "I can never say no to anyone. I don't blame them for not wanting to constantly live in debt. But I wanted to see my daughter one last time, so I wandered through the streets and was pounded by rain until I came here. But once I entered I was mistaken for a doctor, here to examine students!"

You smiled. "You mean they mistook the guy wearing a lab coat as a doctor? That's... wow."

"And then it happened," He ignored you. He then explained how he asked a girl for directions and she ran away screaming. "And before I knew it, there were all kinds of people chasing me!" He was bursting with tears.

"So tragic!" Tamaki was also crying.

"Pardon me," Kyoya said. "But I think you may have the wrong highschool. Are you looking for Ouran Public Highschool?"

"Yeah?" He stopped crying and looked up.

"I figured that might be the case. This is Ouran Academy, private institution. Your daughter doesn't go to school here."

He looked shocked, and the twins began to voice their opinions. "Man, you don't even know where your daughter goes to school? That's pretty sad." Hikaru said.

"Yeah, I bet your relationship's messed up because you don't pay attention to them, not because of some stupid debt."

"Wow Kyo-chan, you figured that out pretty quickly." Honey congratulated him.

"Well, the daughter of such a small business man could never afford to go here." You scrunched up your nose I'm response.

"Kyoya," Tamaki said. "Could you make a map of the public schools in this area? I'd like to help this man."

Kyoya looked surprised for a second, but smiled and regained his composure. "Whatever you say."

As the man got up you stepped in front of him. "If you'll allow me to give some advice." He nodded. "If you get there and school is still in session, don't just go in. Wait until she's finished with school, or else you're gonna look like a creep and she'll be too angry and embarrassed to talk." He said nothing and nodded, bowing. He left soon after, and you were all still in the private room. "Well, sorry to do this, but can you guys please leave now?"

Everybody looked surprised. "Y/n, are you still angry with me?" Tamaki said. "You're not going to quit the host club are you?"

You turned to him and smiled, patting his shoulder. "Don't be silly senpai. I need to get to that stupid therapy sesh and you need to put on a shirt. I just gotta take the physical exams and I'll give it back to you." You then turned around and smiled. "Let's get this straight though. I'm not doing it for some food, I'm doing it for my debt."

You giggled, and Tamaki smothered you with a hug. "I can see right through you! I know you're doing it for some squishy ice cream!"

He was smothering too much. "Okay, stop it! The shirt's riding up!"

"Red card!" The twins said in unison. They then dragged Tamaki out and everyone else followed.

You finished your exam fairly quickly and was guided by your nurse to the room of your therapist. "Good morning." She grinned. "Please sit anywhere you'd like."

You had decided right then and there that this was going to suck. There was fancy decor and expensive looking items. There was a nice looking couch and even nicer looking chairs. She had a desk that looked like it costed way too much, and she wore expensive clothing. This was all too much. You didn't belong in this room.

You silently sat on the couch. "I hope you feel your most comfortable self with me, so we can talk about anything you want." Her grin was still on and her tone was still chirpy. You said nothing. "Do you want to begin the conversation?"

You hesitated before speaking up. "May I ask about your background?"

"My background? Well that's an incredibly boring subject, but go ahead! Let's not have any secrets between each other, okay?"

You were silent for a moment again. "How were you brought up? Was it surrounded by things like this?"

You didn't try to smile. You didn't want to be here. There wasn't anything wrong with you, so there wasn't a reason to be here. Besides, this room itself was giving you anxiety. "Things like this? Well, I'm not really the materialistic person, but if you're asking me if I was born into a wealthy family that helped paved the way to my position, then yes. I was born into this."

Her smile never faltered, and you didn't like it. You didn't like the feeling of any of this. Exposed, you felt so exposed. It made you put your head down in shame. "Then don't you think you're a little overqualified to be talking to me right now?"

She was taken aback, but began writing in her notebook. She slightly nodded to it, as if she had decided something. "My, is that what you think?"

What the hell would she even write from that? That you have self esteem issues? That you're self conscious about yourself here? You deserved so much squishy icecream for this. You only shrugged.

"You don't seem very relaxed right now. Maybe we could talk about why that is." You shrugged again. Her smile almost left her face, but she hung onto it. "We can't make any progress if you we don't put in effort dear."

You sucked up your annoyance and smiled, bringing your head up. "If you want me to be happy about this, you could've just said so. And the reason why I'm uncomfortable is because this room is making me uncomfortable."

She then wrote in her notebook again. "I see. Is it the atmosphere? We can go outside to the garden if it makes you feel any better."

"Is this session a one time thing?"

She chuckled. "That's not how progress works."

"Then we can stay in here so I could get used to this feeling."

It was like she cornered you. She knew exactly where to strike. "Do you always feel like you need to comply to things? Like you have to be the one to adjust?"

You frowned. "Where did that come from?"

"Please answer the question dear."

"I don't know, I guess. I have to though. It's not like everybody else has to change their viewpoints to accommodate only me."

"Do those viewpoints make you upset?"

"No."

"I'd appreciate if didn't lie to me."

She seemed to have every one of your moves calculated. She suddenly knew how to outsmart you. "Sometimes, I guess. I don't know. They'll say a comment or two about how different commoners are to normal rich people. It's weird. I never considered myself normal, but I'm different for another reason here than before."

You wanted to slap yourself for saying that. She only wrote in her notebook again. "How were you different before?"

"It just sometimes felt like us against the world. The four of us were unbreakable and we didn't care that it was that way. I felt proud to be looked down on, in this weird way, because my friends were down there with me laughing at everyone else."

"And now?"

"Now I'm down there alone. Everybody looks down on me, but there's no one else to share that with. It just sucks sometimes."

"You have two separate friend groups that you mention. Do you feel differently towards the one back in y/c than here?"

"I never felt ashamed with my y/c friends, I guess. I don't know. They knew everything about me, and they still loved me for it. Maybe I feel like my friends here will just pity me if I open up more?" You brought your knees up and buried your face in between them. "Ugh, no offense doctor, but this sucks butt. I thought this was supposed to help me with my anxiety."

"And you don't feel anxiety when thinking about your new friends finding things out about you?"

You couldn't help but let out a laugh and fall to lay of the couch. "Damn it, you're actually pretty good."

"People can be more complex than you might think. Just as you feel like they won't understand you because of your background, you aren't giving them a chance because of their background." You looked up at her. She was still smiling.

You chuckled. "You really do suck." You then sat up straight. "Hey, how are other people like with your sneaky forwardness?"

She waved off the question. "Oh, I'm usually not like this at all. I normally have to go through this journey with them until they figure it out on their own. I figured you weren't like that and would prefer someone who wouldn't baby you. It's actually quite nice to get straight forward answers back."

You genuinely smiled. "I'm sorry doctor, I think I underestimated you."

She had a different smile on this time. "Hm. Tell me something that your new friends don't know about you."

"That's kinda hard. One of them ran a background check on me."

She chose not to push her luck and not ask about that. "Well, it can be a small fact."

You let out a sigh and looked down again. "I mean, I was at the store the other day and bought them all keychains. Once I brought them to school I realized how worthless this would be to them. So I just kept them.

"Pushing for a better relationship with your friends will maybe let them push with you. They might like the gifts. You don't know until you try it."

"Thanks doctor." You smiled at her.

"One last question, how did you act with your old friends? Were you touchy feely or more to yourself?"

"Um, touchy feely I guess." You then thought about how you and your friends never really had respect for each other's boundaries, though none of you cared. "Really touchy feely actually."

"Try to work on getting to that level with your new friends." She then checked the time. "Oh, it seems we just ended our session. I'm glad we got this far, and there's so much more to talk about. I'll see you next week."

"Yeah, okay." You smiled and got up.

"Oh, dear,"

You stopped. "Yeah?"

"Why don't you give your old friends a call? You seem like you miss them."

"Okay." You said, chirpy. "Bye!"

You walked back to the physical exam area, and everyone was just about finished. All your friends stared at you as you silently walked over to them. You didn't say anything and looked spaced out.

"Y/n," Tamaki quietly asked. "Are you mad at us for sending you to therapy? You're making a face."

"I'm just thinking senpai." You didn't look at him.

"About quitting the club?!" He grabbed you by the shoulders.

You gently poked his face and pushed it away with your finger. "About whether or not I should give you guys something." The bell rang and you looked at the twins. "Oh, let's go guys. Bye everyone."

Nobody said anything. You went to your class silently. "Uh, y/n?" Hikaru asked.

"Hm?" You turned to them.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kaoru asked.

You smiled and hugged them both. "I'm sure."

After school you decided to use your phone and call the one person you know who also has a phone. The other two were also there, and the three were planning to see you as a surprise on Monday. Luckily, Jasmine can't keep a surprise to save her life.

You entered the host club with a big smile, setting down your bag to turn and see all the boys staring at you. "What?" You asked, still smiling. "Oh! The gifts."

"So you actually did get us something?" Kaoru asked.

"Yup." You brought them out of your backpack and walked over to Mori. You handed him a keychain of a small black belt. "I heard someone say you were in kendo, so I thought this would be nice."

He smiled and patted the top of your head. "Thanks."

You excitedly nodded and bent down to Honey, giving him a bunny keychain. "I thought it would kinda remind you of usa-chan if you two were ever apart."

His eyes shown as he held it in his hands. "Cute! Thanks y/n-chan!"

You walked over to the twins, handing them a tweedle dee and tweedle dum keychains. You didn't know how to explain this one, so all you did was nervously chuckle.

"Get it?" They only stared at it and back at you as you awkwardly walked away and went to Kyoya. You gave him a paintbrush keychain. "One of my clients told me you could paint?"

He smiled and took the gift. "Hm. Thank you y/n."

You grinned and walked over to Tamaki. He was like a puppy who was excited to get a treat. You didn't take any notice in the blush on his face, nervous yourself that he'd say something about the piss poor gift. You put a small bear keychain in his hand.

"I know you have a teddy bear like this, and I've seen your dorky led pencil with the bear on it." An arrow went through him. "So I thought this would be a nice addition."

"No offense," Hikaru said, staring at the gift in his hand. Everybody turned their heads to him. "But you know these are kinda useless to us right?"

You frowned, but quickly replaced it with a smile. "Yeah," you nervously chuckled. "I'm sorry. It's stupid, I don't even know why I got them. Sorry." You then quickly began to walk away. "I'm gonna get my stuff set up."

You made some special tea for your first guest since she mentioned last time it was her favorite. While you were doing this, Tamaki stormed over to Hikaru. "What was that about?"

"What?" He shrugged. "It's true. I don't get why everyone's acting like this is some treasure."

Kyoya began writing in his book. "According to my sources, y/n also gave her friends back home keychains. It's a gift that she can afford, but it seems to only be something that she only gives to those she holds dear." They all looked back at Kyoya, who was still writing. "Don't you think it's peculiar that right after she talked to her therapist, y/n said that she felt comfortable giving us each a gift?"

Kaoru didn't know what to say, and Tamaki grabbed Hikaru's shoulder. "Listen to me." He said quietly. "You have to apologize to y/n. She wanted to do something nice for you, and you showed your gratitude like a slap in the face to her."

He looked over to you in an annoyed manner, walking over and tapping your shoulder. You flinched but still mustered up a smile. Before he could say anything, the host doors opened.

He didn't get the chance to say anything for the next three hours, as you were always busy with a new guest. Over the three hours guilt began to plague him. Why was he feeling bad? It was a harmless fact. His chest felt heavy.

Finally when they were all gone, you began cleaning as quickly as possible. He tried to slyly get closer to you, but you noticed and kept moving to a new area quickly. It was annoying him. "Hey," he called out to you in a demanding tone. "Are you mad at me or something?"

You didn't look in his direction, busying yourself with cleaning. "No. Why do you say that?"

"Tch." He didn't have patience for the feelings inside him. "Why are you avoiding me then?!"

You, as well as the other hosts, were surprised by the sudden outburst. You let out a sigh, turning to face him and giving him a smile. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry that you had to raise your voice at me."

"Why are you still being nice?" He said in a quiet manner, embarrassed for yelling at you for no important reason. "I just yelled at you."

"Um, I'm sure you're used to having people's full attention." You offered a shrug, your smile still sticking. "People who're raised by hearing a lot of yes's are usually bound to be more demanding. It's only natural, so it's whatever."

"No it's not!" He raised his voice again. "You should be getting mad at others being rude to you. Don't be such a pushover!"

His words stung, and you dropped your smile. "Don't call me that." You said a little forcefully.

"You know what? Next time you go to therapy, work on that!" You didn't say anything and angrily continued cleaning while everybody stared at Hikaru. Tamaki was being held back by Kaoru, while Hikaru was just staring at you. Damnit. This was supposed to be an apology, but he made things worse. "Y/n—"

"No."

Your simple demand got everyone's eyes to you. Kaoru and Tamaki held each other from how scary you looked, while Hikaru stepped a few paces back. After a few seconds he was ready to retaliate with another comment, but before he could he was pulled back by Kaoru.

"Hikaru, try to calm down." Kaoru offered.

This got him angrier. "I don't even need her to forgive me! It's always been me and you, and we never needed anyone else! Why should that change now?"

They both stopped when they noticed you sadly staring at them. You then looked back at your cart full of dishes and rolled it away. When you came back you only saw one twin bashfully staring at you.

"Look y/n, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things, and—"

You began to giggle. "Wow, I never knew people thought of me as so much of an idiot to really not think I can tell some twins apart. Nice try Kaoru." He looked at you, shocked. You kept walking, before stopping to quickly say "I appreciate you trying though."

You walked over to the other twin, who was tied up and squirming under Tamaki's foot. You motioned for Tamaki to back down, which he did as you sat down next to the tied up twin, pulling down the tie over his mouth. "What was that for boss?!"

"If you cannot respect a woman properly, you will have to handled improperly!" You flashed Tamaki a smile for the comment, and he began rolling on the ground and muttering about how cute you are.

You turned to look at Hikaru, who angrily looked away from you. "So, I get it now." You grinned.

"Get what?" He shyly looked over to you.

"Why you're so nonchalant about everybody. It's because you're used to only relying on one person your whole life." He looked at you in awe. You really understood that. "Honestly, it's pretty amazing to look at. I wish I had a life companion like that."

"But don't—"

"Nope, still not gonna talk about that anytime soon. The point is, I get why you weren't concerned about my feelings, and the important thing is that you're thinking about them now...kinda. As long as you're actually sorry then all is good."

He looked away from you and muttered a sorry. You nodded and untied him, standing up to face the others. You let out a sigh and bowed politely. "I sincerely apologize for the unnecessary drama I brought to the club."

You felt a strong hand pull on your arm to lift you back up. You looked up to see Tamaki gently smiling. "Don't think you have to put your head down for us, and stop thinking of yourself as an outlier. We all enjoy your company."

You smiled back, and remembered what your therapist and you talked about. Try to become touchy feely with them. They're all still your friends.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, quietly saying, "Thank you senpai." You pulled back and saw Tamaki as a blushing mess, causing you to quickly yank back. "Sorry! Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have listened to my therapist about being more touchy feely."

"Actually," the twins said as they came to each of your side, back to their flirty selves. "You can do that with us!"

You let out a breathy chuckle. "You guys are so bipolar and I love it." You then walked over the Kyoya. "Are we all still hanging out tomorrow?"

He wrote in his book. "Oh course. Have you decided where we'll go?"

"Yup!" You grinned. "The swap meet!"

"Swap meet?" The twins asked.

"Well, I think you guys call it a flee market here in Japan." You then looked back at the twins. "Call me tomorrow morning so we can pick everyone up and go."

"Roger!" They saluted.

"Wait, y/n," Tamaki said.

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable Tamaki-senpai. I'll be less touchy with you from now on."

"Wait y/n! I did like the hug, I promise!" He sobbed.

You giggled. "You don't have to lie to make me feel better. Well, gotta go. Bye guys!" And with that, you left.

"Mama~"

"Is there a problem Tamaki?" Kyoya slyly smiled.

"What if y/n won't hug me anymore?! Who else would she hug?"

"Hm. Well, she could always come to any of the other host members—"

"Are you saying you would let my little girl hug you and smother you with love?!" He barked.

"Hm, if it helps her, then I suppose." Everybody else left Tamaki crying in the music room.

---

Author's Note: Well, I don't know about you guys but this chapter felt like hot garbage to me.

---

Tag List: @krustykrabbspizza @animefan7420 @strangerthingsholland @the-dead-fucking-sea @blue-eyez-7 @i-bitch-you-bitch @sylumsart

[jaehyunsuh]

Paradise; Jaehyun // part 2

part 1

"I like your smile that's brighter than the stars

this place where we're dreaming the same dream is paradise

like the ones I drew when I was young,

I feel like tomorrow is gonna be filled with dreams and thrills"

series: songs for you🌃

REQUESTS ARE: OPEN

— pairing: jaehyun x reader

— genre: fluff/ romance/ boyfriend! Jaehyun/ fiance! Jaehyun/ husband! Jaehyun ??

— words count: 1.5k

summary: Jaehyun and you have been together for 3 years now, he is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for, he is kind, caring, sweet and always cares about you. Jaehyun has always been kind of closed when it comes to his feelings but he always ends opening up to you. He has been acting weird for the last couple of weeks and you have been overthinking about it for the last week. He hasn't been talking that much, he comes home, kisses you and the goes straight to bed. You wonder if the spark between the two of you is dying or is it just you being dramatic?

since you arrived to Jeju things have been better with Jae. He was really talkative on the plane telling you all the stories about what he did on set, about his recording with the members and how he felt, about how excited he was for his next schedule and all of that. You were glad that now he was sharing all of this stuff with you but you had that is slightly thought that he was doing this just as an attempt to repair your relationship. 

you arrived at the hotel and even slept together. In the last two days everything has been really cool  exploring the city and getting to know all the beautiful things you can see in here, but even thought of that you still upset and worried about what your Jaehyun's words they are keep playing in your head, repeating like a broken record you can stop thinking about the fact that he planned all of this trip just to fix your relationship.

even since you arrived he has been really expressive and you really appreciate that,  but on the other hand you haven't been really talkative lately. You just nod at his words smiling, and what hurts you the most is the fact that he doesn't try to ask you what is happening, he just keeps talking about his stuff without paying attention to your feelings. Jaehyun has known you for 5 years and has been in a relationship with you for 4 years now, you definitely know he is able to identify when you're feeling uncomfortable, sad, upset or angry about something, and that's all the things you're feeling right now and he hasn't even mention it once! it makes you worried that he really doesn't care about what is going on with you and is just doing this as some type of obligation to look like he didn't try to fix things between you two.

you haven't had a proper conversation since you're here so today is your Anthem to clarify your feelings to him and explaining how you have been feeling lately. 

you are now holding hands while walking by the beautiful flowers while staring at the sea. You can't deny Jaehyun has a fantastic taste for everything but you have to admit that this trip has been one of you favorite ones, he has all activities and places to visit organized in his mind making this whole trip magical, you hope after this conversation you can get to enjoy it more peacefully.

"Jae." 

"Yes babe?." He turns looking at you.

"I want to talk to to you about something." You look at your hand playing with them nervously. You were happy that you had the courage to finally express but you were nervous it didn't as planned, maybe ending up with Jaehyun saying that he doesn't feel like that anymore like that. You try to block you thoughts and only focus on the things you want to tell to him.

"Okay? Let's sit then." He laughs playfully and guides you to a bench, you sit and realize how the view still so beautiful from there, with no one around just the amazing landscape in front of you.

"Look, since a few weeks ago i have felt like you are acting weird. You didn't tell me anything anymore, we didn't spent time together and it was killing me honestly i felt like it was just me and that i did something that made you feel upset or something. But suddenly you show up with tickets for a vacation and say that we this to reconnect and the things haven't been the same." You feel how the tears start running down your cheeks and you try to clean them with your wrist while looking down.

"I don't know how you feel but all that i know is that I've always love you and I've never felt like something is messing. You have no idea how much sleep i haven't got at night rethinking about our relationship and what i would do without you. I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me and continue a relationship that you don't feel anymore but i only want you to be honest and not act like nothing happening." You can't stop you tears now, Jaehyun just looks at you listening carefully.

"Since we arrived you haven't ask me even once about how I'm feeling or why I'm not talking or why I'm not as talkative as always, and i know it is because you are trying to give a chance to this relationship and try to make me feel better with your attempt. Jae, you are the most important thing for me in the world and if you don't want to continue this i will totally understand." You breathe in and out calming you down so you can talk clearly.

"And i just want you to know that i love you so much and i'll support any decision you take." You finally look at him and he is looking at you quite worried and surprised. You still can't read his face so you wish he starts talking so you know how he is feeling.

"Y/n, you are the most amazing and fantastic person I've ever met, I'm thankful for having you in my life." He smiles wide.

"You have been the only person I've ever opened to in all aspects. You know afraid i was to fall in love, show myself and my whole vulnerability and insecurities, but as soon as i saw you, insisting me to overcome my fears and open up to you and giving me you sweet smile, every single thing disappeared and i felt so free, finally revealing you my true self." He holds your hands talking to you enthusiastic.

"I couldn't ask for someone better in my life. Look, I'm not dumb, i have notice all the details in your acts since a few days ago. The way you pouted upset everytime i came home, rolling on the bed all night because of how stressed you were, the sad look on your face when i told you that i planned this trip to make our relationship better again and even the way you just nodded and smiled at everything i said." He is talking with a wide a smile and you don't understand what is happening. You are shocked at how correct where all the things he was saying without you giving those details.

"And I'm sorry for the bottom of my heart but  the reason why i avoided you and act like nothing was wrong with you was because of this." He stands up, searching for something on his jacket, proceeding to kneel down on the floor.

"Y/n, you have made me the happiest man alive. You are my paradise, always drawing bright days and putting colors in me.The past 5 years with you have been amazing and I've never ever doubted about loving and falling in love with you even more everyday." He is now showing the biggest and brightest smile showing his dimples.

"Will you marry me?" He finally says opening up the little box that was resting on his hands now showing a beautiful ring with a diamond on it. You cover your mouth in surprise starting to cry even more than before.

"Yes, Jae, yes." 

he stands up and lifts you while hugging, then brings you back down grabbing your lower back and kissing your lips. The kiss was full of love, joy, relieve and peace. He starts to slide his tongue inside you playing with your, you get closer to him and place your arms around his neck intensifying the kiss and being able to feel him more. You bury you hands in his neck. You realize that you are at a touristic place and you don't want to become one of the attractions so you end the kiss.

"Jae, we are in a public place." You say laughing while he keeps giving tiny kisses on you lips. You cover his mouth making him stop. He pouts playfully and puts on fake sad face.

"We should go to our hotel then." He says grabbing your hand in a sign to follow him and winking at you leaving on more kiss on your lips. 

you we're so happy that you were going to marry Jaehyun, he has been the best boyfriend,  and now fiance, that you could ever ask for. You are so thankful for having someone like him in your life, that always stands up for you, listens to you and supports you in every situation.

the next days on the island were amazing, you you continued to explore, you saw the beautiful flowers,museums and even ride horses. Jaehyun even took you to a romantic dinner and after that you had a great time at the hotel. You were the same as always, cuddling all might, having endless makeout session, him waking you up with a kiss and all the other this that keep the essence of your relationship

you have never been more in love with him and you couldn't ask for someone better. You have to accept that he's the love of your life and you are his and now you will love each other forever.

[babieyangyang10]

violent ends (chapter 4)

(chapter 4)

series masterlist

genre: hunger games!au

pairing: huang renjun x oc, na jaemin x oc

warnings: mentions of prostitution, language, violent deaths, fighting, angst, fluff, + possible nsfw.

previous | next

"So, each of the districts get their own floors. Since you're from two, you get the second floor." Doyoung explains as we step out of the elevator.

As we walk into the apartment, I stare in awe at the glamorous quarters.  There are many giant glass columns and a random display of silver trees and rocks.

"Here is the living room and your rooms are over here. How about you freshen up for dinner?" suggests Doyoung. 

In my room, I am met by a bed with a silky, soft comforter. I make my way into the spacious bathroom and hop into the shower. Inside, there was a panel with hundreds of buttons that regulated water temperature, pressure, and even provided massaging sponges.

After finishing, a heater dried my hair and body completely. I pressed another button and a box began sending electrical currents through my scalp, instantly untangling my hair.

Returning the bedroom in comfortable clothes, I see a strange-looking remote on the bed-side table. Intrigued, I begin pressing random buttons. As a result, the window showcasing the lights and building of the Capitol changes into different sceneries.

First, there was a city street filled with cheerful families walking together. After pressing a different button, a dry and deserted desert appeared on the screen.

Switching it once again, a scene showing several mountains peaking through behind a forest of trees. I felt a pulling-feeling in my chest. My throat also feeling slightly choked-up.

During the holidays, every year Taeyong would take me into the mountains of our district. He would pretend to be my knight in shining armor, while I was the princess in distress.  He'd never tell anyone, but sometimes it was even the other way around.

It's also where he taught me how to hunt and find my own food. How to determine between what is the good food and what is the not so very good food.

It was the only time I remember us ever truly being kids. Not soldiers, just a thirteen and seven year old exploring the big, exciting world together.

Then everything went to shit after Taeyong went to the games.  That year, the Gamemakers had chosen a forest for the terrain. However, it was filled with dangerous wild dogs, wolves, and spiders. The spiders had enhanced speed and were extremely venomous. However, the wild dogs were capable of changing their form and copying the voices of the tributes.

Because of this, the entire Career pack was slaughtered alive. Taeyong was the only one who managed to escape. Wounded and without supplies, a twelve year old boy from District 11 named Dong Sicheng had found and formed a alliance with him. Sicheng had shared all of his supplies and even nursed him back to health.

On the last day, they were approached by the last remaining tribute. Taeyong, spotted him and fired an arrow straight into his heart. As he turned around to check on Sicheng, he was met with the boy clutching a harpoon, longed deep in his chest.

Dong Sicheng slowly died in Taeyong's arms.

After the cannon went off, the Captitol announced over the speakers that Lee Taeyong of District 2 was the winner of the 64th Hunger Games.

No longer did he take me to the mountains. Honestly, we never did anything together. Since then, the closest I ever got to be to him was the one time when the rest of my family stood by him during his stop in District 2 during his press tour.

I've always wondered how he felt. Wondered if  he blames himself for what happened. However, I never wanted to intrude. It's not like I ever got the opportunity to ask him, anyways.

However, since I'm going in the games soon. I hope to eventually work up the courage to sit down and have a real talk with him. The real Taeyong, not the victor or mentor he acts like in front of everyone else.

I opened the door to see Doyoung, Renjun, and Taeyong sitting at the dining room table.

Once I sat down in the acid-green chair, Taeyong began talking, "The plan for tomorrow is the same for the both of you. You go to group training. Spend time practicing something your weakest at. Swing a mace. Throw a spear. Tie a decent knot. It doesn't really matter, just save showing off for the private session with the Gamemakers. Are we clear?"

Renjun and I both nod our heads at him.

"Well, have the two of you gotten to know any of the other tributes yet?" pries an interested Doyoung.

"I haven't. Although, Athena seems to be checking out the competition, already."  Renjun answers, nonchalantly.

"Wonderful!" Doyoung innocently chimed, "It's never too early to start considering possible alliances. Are you going to ask anyone to join the two of you?"

"Oh, we're not-" Renjun and I said at the same time. We're laughing as if he's said the funniest joke in the world.

"We've always maintained our own completely different strategies. Renjun prefers to be the predator. There's no doubt in my mind that if he does want to work with others, it'll end up being an alliance with the other Careers. " Renjun just silently nods in agreement.

"And what about you?" asked Doyoung.

"Let's just say I prefer not to walk around with a huge target on my head. I want to team up with someone well-liked, so we can get resources through sponsors." I explained.

"Like Na Jaemin?" sneers Renjun.

"You know people have been calling him the Prince of Panem. He's made quite the impression, already." Doyoung chimes, "And he's not the only one. People have been raving about you, Athena. They've even started calling you, the Golden Girl."

"That's good." Taeyong quietly adds to the conversion, "If you keep this up you'll get lots of sponsors."

Doyoung suddenly blurts, "In fact, most people think Jaemin and you would make a good couple."

At this remark, Taeyong drops his knife loudly on the table, while Renjun chokes on his drink. My mouth begins opening and closing like a fish, struggling to come up with a reply.

"We're done for tonight. You two should go to bed now." Taeyong orders, not hiding his agitation.

Quickly, we all return to our rooms. I crash on my bed and stare up at ceiling.

Jaemin and I as a couple?

Where did they even dream up that possibility from? I mean, we only had one barely two-minute conversation. People really do amaze me sometimes.

My thoughts are broken by a barely-there knock at my door. I groan and force myself off the bed.

I roll my eyes, before opening the door and saying, "Renjun, would you kindly please fuck off?"

However, the person standing there was definitely not Renjun. I tilt my chin up to see no other than Lee Taeyong, towering over me.

"Oh, sorry." I frown, embarrassed.

"Can I come in?" He politely asks me.

I step to the side and allow him inside. Once he's fully in, I closed the door behind him.

"Finally decided to talk to me, huh?"

He just stays silent, just letting me say whatever I please.

"You know, I thought you'd at least be happy for me. I mean, you of all people should know that this is the best thing that could ever happen to me." The emotions I've been holding in for the past 10 years are finally coming to the surface.

Taeyong looks at me with pity, "Athena, there are some things you don't know. Things that the school or our parents never taught us."

"What are you even talking about?" I pressure.

"After the games, you couldn't see me for a reason." He took a heavy breath, "Sometimes, if a victor is considered desirable, the president gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them for money. It’s not just me either, the same thing happened to Finnick Odair a year later."

"What do you mean, 'buy'?" I swallow.

"For sex."

It’s quiet.

"I was given no choice. He said that he would kill both of our parents and even you if I didn't obey." His eyes begin tearing up, "Athena, you don't know how much I wanted to come see you and teach you things."

"Taeyong." I whimper.

I felt sick to my stomach. How could they do that to him? He was just a thirteen year old kid. Even worse, how could I let myself hate and be jealous of him, when all along he was the reason I was still even living?

"I know I'm a horrible brother, but please listen to me when I say the Capitol uses everyone, including you. You have been taught that this, the games, are normal and something to be proud of. You haven't even seen how horrible it is for the lower districts. They can barely make it through one day without starving. They have basically nothing, while the Capitol is feeding off them."

Anger rises up in me. I look around at all the expensive things in the room. Think about the large amount of fancy food I've consumed while in the Capitol. I'm furious, because I've been lied to and tricked. Furious for Taeyong and all the others the Capitol has taken advantage of.

I jump into my brothers arms and completely break down. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said Taeyong. It was stupid. I'm stupid."

"It's okay. You didn’t know." He shushes, while holding me.

“Listen to me. If you-“ he corrects himself, “When you win this thing, I’m not going to let him do anything to you, okay?”

“Taeyong, can I tell you something? I’ve just never got the chance to.” I ask.

He nods.

“What happened to Sicheng wasn’t your fault. You understand that, right?”

He painfully looks down at the floor, before slowly nodding.

“I’m serious, Taeyong. It’s not your fault.”

By the time he looks up, I am able to clearly see him. Underneath the years of pain, hidden away was a vulnerable boy. The tears come falling down his cheeks.

We spend the rest of the night talking about our past, telling stories. Both laughing and crying together.

My brother and I.

[whattodowithace]

Roommates Code: How it Began (Seyoon’s Story)

Title: Roommates Code: How it Began

Pairing: Liju x Seyoon & Donghun (But can be reader x Seyoon & Donghun)

Genre: Humor, slight spice

Word count: 2187

Writer: Kpopmadness (Ju)

"Would you stop playing that video?" I groan, ready to throw my textbook at my schoolmate who sat on my head watching a music video for the hundredth time.

"I have to watch it closely. It's for science." She answers me, her eyes staying glued to the screen in front of her.

"You could help me with our homework project due in a few days. For science." I mimic her wording, making her narrow her eyes at me before shutting her laptop down to get her books.

This is how our relationship was. And how it probably always would be. My relationship with my classmate was fairly new. Both of us meeting one day at a study group in the library at our school. We continued to see each other for the next four weeks. The group we were with ignoring us most times, leaving us with just each other to talk to. Now we had moved our study sessions to my house. Us studying for school together becoming a weekly habit on top of sitting next to each other during lunch break at school as a excuse to hang out.

The room is silent for five minutes before she pipes up again; "You know, with the amount of times we talk to each other and see each other, we could move in together as roommates once we graduate." She tells me.

I look up from my book to meet her eyes, surprised to see she was actually being serious. I lean back in my chair as i say, "We would probably kill each other."

She shrugs, her long hair falling over her shoulder as she does so. "We might." She says, "Or we might not. We've been hanging out with each other for five months now and haven't manged to argue yet. And we don't seem to stress each other. And i don't see you or i getting boyfriends means how we like being alone so much."

I laugh,  the idea amusing and sounding fun. But it seemed a little outlandish means how we still had another nine months of high school left.

"We'll see where we are when we finish school. We might hate each other by then." I say before turning back to my book.

``````

The problem with us, however, is when we kid about something, it often times happens somehow. Two months after graduating high school we found good paying jobs and a available apartment.

"I'll let you two look around a bit more." The landlord of our new apartment said as she walked down the stairs, "Congratulations on getting the place."

We both thanked her with smiles on our faces before shutting the door and letting out an excited scream. Our place small but roomy enough for us, making it feel like a palace compared to our small bedrooms at home. And the biggest difference was this was our place.

"Which room do you want?" She asks me as we make our way down the hall.

"You can have the bigger room. You have more things than i do." I tell her, stepping into what would be her bedroom.

"You've never had a big bedroom before though." She says, sounding guilty.

I laugh, "Please, my room has a bathroom. That's a luxury by itself."

We both laugh as we continue walking around our rooms. At one point I stand in my room trying to think of how to arrange things when i hear her call,

"If we shut our bedroom doors can we still hear each other?" She asks, poking her head into my room.

Our bedrooms were stationed right next to each other, the thought of being able to talk even from our rooms making me giggle.

"Lets see." I say through a laugh. Shutting my bedroom door, hearing her do the same a moment later.

She taps on the wall next to my room, the sound echoing through my empty room. "We could learn mores code!"   I hear her say as she starts randomly taping the wall with her hand.

I laugh and lean my back against the wall, "If our walls are this thin that means our neighbors can hear us. Which means they're going to wonder why your using mores code to summon Satan."

I hear her laugh as she walks out of her room and into mine, "But if we ever get boyfriends it might be an issue. We'll hear more of each other than is wanted."

``````

Four years later:

I sit at the kitchen table one afternoon scrolling through my Ipad when the front door unlocks and my roommate steps inside. I open my mouth to greet her but quickly shut it when i see the man standing behind her.

"Thank you again for walking me home, Seyoon." She says, smiling at him as she leans her body weight against the door.

"It was no problem." He says sweetly, smiling back at her.

I bite my lip and slowly move off my chair to try to sneak away to my bedroom to give them some privacy. I had just stood up when she turns her head and looks at me,

"Where are you going?" She asks, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

I straighten and force a smile on my face, silently cursing her for drawing attention to me.

"Nowhere." I answer  in a sweet voice, my eyes narrowing at her.

"Hey Seyoon." I wave at him.

Seyoon waves back at me, "Hey, good to see you."  His smile widens as he looks back at my roommate before saying, "I should get going. But it was really good to see you all. Thank you for letting me walk you home." He says. I don't miss the way his hand slightly reaches for hers that rests on the doorknob or how he lingers at the door though. All of this making me smirk.

She thanks him again before shutting the door completely and whirling around to throw her bag at me. I let out a cry when it hits me on the shin.

"What the heck do you keep in there? Bricks?" I grumble as i rub my leg.

"I keep them in there for when i need to beat you to death." She fires  back. "I told you to stay in the same room as me if we ever see him. Then you try to wonder off!"

"He looked like he wanted to be alone with you!" I shout, a smirk on my lips.

She narrows her eyes at me before running up and kicking my feet out from under me, making me land on my back, air leaving my lungs.

She kicks me in the butt, making me scream.

"He walked you home! That's a clear sign he wants a relationship with you!"  I scream at her. Her face going red.

"I don't care, because i don't want a relationship with him." She mumbles quietly.

I stand up from the ground and brush myself off, "Are you sure about that?" I ask, making her hesitate but still narrow her eyes at me.

This had been an ongoing conversation between us for the past month. Kim Seyoon was her workmate, he also only lived a block away from our apartment. For the past month, he had been making it very clear he liked her. Making lunch for her, sending her texts to check on her when she didn't show up at work. He even brought over some soup once for me when i was sick and she had stayed home to make sure  i didn't die. Clearly trying to get on my good side as well.

Needless to say, i liked him for her. But her being the stubborn person she is, refused to admit she liked him or wanted a date with him. So for the past month we had talked, argued, and screamed at each other about the matter. Even though she denied it, i could see her walls cracking slightly. She was growing more of a weak spot for him than she wanted to admit.

"I'm going to go. I ordered a Pizza for dinner for us." I tell her as i pick up my car keys.

A smile grows on my roommates face at the mention of her favorite food. "This doesn't change anything. I still don't like you."

I laugh and roll my eyes, "I know." I sigh out as i walk out the door.

```````

"This one?"

"No." I answer after observing the dress briefly that she had pulled from her closet.

"I don't know what to wear!" She groans in frustration. Raking her fingers through her hair.

After three months of bucking liking Seyoon, she finally caved in to him. Tonight being their first official date that he was going to pick her up for in an hour.

"I still say this dress," I tell her, holding up a red low cut dress with a thick black belt around l the waist.

"But i don't want to wear it." She whines, stomping her foot slightly.

I sigh and put the dress down on her bed. "You look good in it and you know he would like it. You just are too scared to wear it."

My roommate glares at me, mumbling words under her breath as she goes to put the dress i picked out on.

For the remaining hour we walk around our apartment finding things she needed to complete her look. Which included her borrowing one of my necklaces, me doing her hair while she worked on her makeup, and us arguing back and forth like always.

The doorbell rain as she was putting her shoes on, the noise making her jump and look at me panicked. I smirk at her as i wonder down the hall to my door so he couldn't see me when she opened the door. She gave me a passing glare as she went to open the door, Seyoon greeting her warmly in a white button down shirt and black slacks. His blonde hair falling over his eyes in fluffy locks. His eyes widening slightly and his voice going nervous when he saw her.

I smile to myself as i watch the pair walk out the door. I retreat into my bedroom for a night to myself while she was gone.

```````

I stumble into the kitchen sleepily the next morning. My eyes refusing to stay open. I go to the fridge and pour some cold coffee into a cup when my roommate comes out of her room, her eyes sparkling.

"Good morning." She say brightly, going to the fridge to pour herself a glass of milk. Her long hair doing little to hide several of the dark patches that cover her neck and collarbone

I stand by the counter with a glare on my face as she does so. My gaze on her making her meet my eyes.

“Why are you looking at me like that? And why do you look so tired?"

"Maybe it's because certain people wouldn't stop moaning and panting last night." I snap. Making her almost spit her mouthful of milk all over the floor.

"You heard us?" She coughs.

"Our walls are paper thin!" I say, "Your bed is close to the wall so i could hear everything. Until 3AM i heard many many things."

"No.. you... you didn't,  did you?" She asks, her voice cracking and her eyes wide from shock.

"That's a good boy." I mimic, using one of her choice words that night.

She gasps loudly, her face and neck going red. "I thought you would be asleep!"  

"I was. But all the noise definitely woke me up." I tell her, finishing off my coffee to put the cup in the sink.

"We need a code of some sort if he's going to be coming over here a lot for your make outs." I tell her.

She gives me a nervous look, her face still red. "What kind of code?" She asks.

"Something. An agreement that we will leave when the other one wants to spend time alone with their boyfriend or something."

"You don't have a boyfriend." She jabs, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Shut up." I snap, making her laugh.

For the next hour we sit on the couch going back and forth on the rules of this code. The code being simple enough, but holding a measure of  trust that the other one would respect the others privacy when asked. We had just finished setting special text tones for each other as part of the Roommates Code when Seyoon walked out into the living room. His blonde hair sticking up in funny places and several dark marks littering his neck.

“Do you guys always laugh so loud?" Seyoon teases, a smile tugging at his lips as he rubs his eyes.

"I know someone else who's loud."   I mumble under my breath, making my roommate stand up quickly and chase me to my room, screaming at me the entire time. Leaving a chuckling Seyoon to stand in the living room alone.