#I know that there's no way in hell that Janus will ever disguise himself as Thomas in canon

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

I have to say the scene in eucatastrophe at the ball where Janus disguises himself as Thomas to trick the king into revealing how to break the real enchantment is on my mind constantly

Okay, yeah, that's one of my favorites too.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Golden Thread

Prompt: since Janus is Deceit, what if it takes a physical toll on him when he only tells the truth and doesn't manipulate anyone for a period of time? could you please write a oneshot where Janus is in a position where he really needs to to tell the truth, but he can tell he's getting close to his truth limit? - anon

 Hey! I don't know if you're still taking requests for prompts (and I apologize if you aren't), but could you do Janus-centric fluffy hurt/comfort? And maybe a polyship? (If you want to, of course). - anon

Thanks for the prompts, babes! This was supposed to go up yesterday and I’m so sorry I forgot

Read on Ao3

Warnings: sympathetic remus & janus, other than that, it’s not that bad

Pairings: LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 5874

There is a thread that winds through Janus’s tongue.

 Thin, golden, finely spun with lies. It tastes sweet against the back of his teeth, the back of his throat. As he talks, it colors his words with a soft gleam, spinning and spinning into the air in front of him. It coils neatly around his throat as its spool and winks.

Most of the time its taste is enough to curl the corners of his mouth upwards into a smirk, watching it wind and weave its way around the others. Sometimes he thinks he can see other threads, clasping delicately around wrists, arms, knees, necks. Sometimes he can’t resist letting his threat tug them this way and that. Come on, what good is temptation if you never give in to it? He’s grown fond of the sweetness it leaves on his tongue, in his words. Saccharine as they may be, the haze they leave behind is more than enough to make up for it.

 Sometimes the sweetness is too much. He swears he can feel cavities forming in the back of his mouth. His teeth start to ache. And sometimes…sometimes he doesn’t care. It’s too much fun to keep tugging this way and that at the others, too entertaining to let the thread unspool and unspool from his throat, filling the air with its golden light. His smile sharpens and the tangle grows, because what’s the fun of it without a little risk of hurt?

 Other times he knows to back off. He adores the others, but no matter how fun they are to play with, he knows not to push too hard. At those times, he lets the sweetness spill off of his tongue, gently winds the thread back around his own throat. It always protests, the lack of sweetness making his tongue ache, the grip on his throat just a little too tight. But the looks on their faces…the begrudging gratitude, the sincere remark, or--god forbid—the poorly disguised hope…well.

 Sometimes he wonders whether or not it’d be worth it to keep the thread fully wound.

 Not that he ever would, it’s just a thought experiment.

 It’s not like he wonders what it would feel like to have Patton be able to listen to him easily, not make it a fight to get his point across. He doesn’t want to have an engaging conversation with Logan about philosophy, ethics, science, anything just to hear the brilliant man talk. He refuses to entertain the idea of being a proper source of comfort for Virgil. He wouldn’t enjoy snarking with Remus just for fun and not because he doesn’t know how to do anything else.

 And he…

 Well.

 The idea of being able to have an honest conversation with Roman makes him fill to the brim, top to toes, with hatred.

 He doesn’t have much of a choice.

 He can speak a few times with the thread coiled up, just enough when it really counts. He knows the others, he can’t just play with them all the time, he’ll get bored. And they’re not really cut out for it. And as much as he loves to see them squirm out of their comfort zones, it’s not good for Thomas. That’s his real priority.

 Janus pushes open the door to his room and sighs, taking his hat off and hanging it carefully up on its stand. He summons his cane and makes it the rest of the way to the desk, plopping himself into the chair and scrubbing his hand through his hair.

 “They’re so slow,” he mutters as his fingers go to the clasp around his throat, “how do they ever get anything done?”

 Well…they don’t. Not really.

 Don’t get him wrong, he loves being the one to tug and twist them into the right answer, but he doesn’t want to be there all the time. They do know what they’re doing, they’re all good at their jobs, so…trying to manage all of that is exhausting.

 The clasp at his throat falls away and he lifts his hand, craning his neck above his collar. There.

 He knows the thread isn’t real; nothing here is real. Nothing of him can ever be real. But he can still feel it sometimes. Like today.

 They’d been…talking. It wasn’t an overdue conversation, not in the slightest, and he’s had to be honest with them. Doesn’t mean he has to be honest with himself.

 And isn’t that just his saving grace?

 Janus winces as he feels the thread wind tighter and tighter around his tongue, pulling his gloves off to touch his throat, just to confirm that it’s not real. His fingers meet his scales and he sighs, missing the sweetness. It won’t be for long. This will blow over and tomorrow they’ll be back to everyone’s favorite regularly scheduled programming. He’ll make Patton blink in that adorably-confused way, Logan will be pinching the bridge of his nose trying to make everyone shut up and pay attention to Janus’s lies, Virgil will be hissing at him like a demented cat, Remus will be having the time of his life, and Roman won’t want anything to do with him.

 Janus breathes a sigh of relief as sweetness starts to coat his tongue again.

See? It’s already working.

 It doesn’t keep working, but you know.

 The effort was there.

 They’re talking again.

 The living room feels dry. Has it always been this dry? Disguising it as a roll of his eyes, Janus tilts his head toward the ceiling. Huh. He’s never noticed that light there before. Has it always been there? Probably.

 “Janus,” Patton calls, “can you—um—“

 Rolling his eyes again, he looks back down, crossing one leg over the other. He hides the lack of sweetness by pursing his lips.

 “Yes?”

 “Did you hear what I asked?”

 “Of course I did,” he drawls, idly flicking the tips of his gloves together.

 “…so what do you think?”

  Honestly.

 “He didn’t hear you,” Logan says quietly, and thank god the other brain cell has joined the chat.

 Patton frowns. “Then why—never mind.”

  Oh, Patton.

 “I asked if you knew how to help,” Patton says, his hands clutched in his lap, “with the barrier breaking down. It’s been kind of rough from our side so…”

 Right.

 There hadn’t been a barrier up until a few years ago. Something had formed in the Mindscape, an invisible wall. It wasn’t real, of course, but it made walking through the hallways unnecessarily difficult. One of them would try to walk from one side to the other and be suddenly seized with a compulsion to do anything but. Or they’d be accompanying another Side back to the room only to freeze in the middle of the corridor and have to mutter out apologies. It’s exhausting. Luckily they’d still been able to sink in and out to get from place to place, but it’s not like the barrier actually does anything.

 Janus sighs and uncrosses his legs. The thread leaps to the tip of his tongue, eager, poised.

 “I don’t know,” he says instead, feeling the sweetness recede in disappointment, “I don’t know enough about how it formed in the first place.”

 “It happened around the time of the series premiering,” Logan says thoughtfully, “perhaps it could be linked with the presentation of the Mindscape in the fanbase?”

 Virgil snorts. “Like any of that is accurate.”

 “You don’t know that, Virgil.”

 “Um, excuse me, which of us spends the most time on Tumblr?”

 “What does that have to do with anything?”

 “Where do you think most of the fanbase hangs out? ‘Cause it sure as hell ain’t Facebook.”

 “That’s a shame,” Patton sighs, “I miss it.”

 “You miss Facebook?”

 “You know it does still exist, right?”

 “Did Thomas ever even have Facebook?”

 “The color palettes were nice!”

 “You mean they were blue.”

 “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

 “…the point being I know a lot about what the fans do with the content we give them and most of that stuff is entirely made-up.”

 Logan raises an eyebrow. “As opposed to the made-up that the series is.”

 “Shut up, L.”

 “I’d rather not, actually.”

 Virgil swats Logan’s shoulder half-heartedly.

 Janus is smiling. Why is he smiling? He hasn’t lied enough for the sweetness to make him smile and it’s not like Remus has appeared with feet coming out of his head again. In fact, Remus is just…sitting next to Roman. Granted, he’s got his morning star in his lap dripping with god knows what, but there are no crazy shenanigans happening.

 He watches Logan reach out and tangle his fingers with Virgil’s as Patton starts talking again. He watches Virgil nudge Remus’s tape back over to him when he drops it halfway through rewrapping the grip on his morning star. He watches Roman cover a flinch that he’d never have noticed if he wasn’t paying attention and sees Remus take hold of Roman’s costume and grip it tight in his fist.

 The thread twitches angrily on his tongue as he tries to make sense of what’s happening.

 “Has anything happened,” Roman asks as Patton pauses, “on your side?”

 Virgil shrugs. “I haven’t noticed anything. But I normally sink straight to my room, so…”

 “Remus?”

 “You do realize that most of the thoughts that come into my head are the type that you guys would ignore anyway, right?”

 Roman rolls his eyes too, but it’s fond. Affectionate. Janus is not.

 “…Janus? What about you?”

 The thread begins to sew neat little words into his tongue, all prepared for him to say. Yes, he’s noticed something, he’s noticed that the others are so much less fun than they used to be. No, he hasn’t noticed anything, it’s not like he’s the observant one.

 Yes, he’s noticed that the barrier is fading and he hates it.

 No, he hasn’t noticed anything because he spends as little time with the others as possible.

 “I don’t know.”

 Patton nods. “That’s okay, just…maybe try keeping an eye out? See if anything changes?”

 “I will.”

 The thread takes longer to undo that night.

 Janus slumps onto his elbows and groans.

 When did he become addicted to the sweetness? When did it get so hard for him to realize when he’s the one telling the lies and when the thread is telling the lies? When did he stop caring about the words coming out of his mouth?

 The truth is, of course, that he didn’t.

 He started caring more about the others.

 The thread tightens in warning but Janus pushes it aside. He frowns, staring hard at the grooves in the desk. He started to care about them, not just as parts of Thomas’s personality that would help him do things, but as their own Sides. As them.

 He cares about how Logan’s eyes light up just a little when he starts talking about something. He cares about how warm Patton speaks when they’re all there. He cares about how bouncy Remus gets when they talk to him. He cares about when Virgil’s eyeshadow turns all purple and sparkly. He cares about how hard it’s become to genuinely make Roman smile.

 The thread groans.

 Janus curses.

 He can’t.

 “The others aren’t important,” he hisses at the mirror, “Thomas is the only important one.”

 The thread pauses.

 “I don’t care what they want,” he continues, feeling it slowly start to unwind, “it only matters that Thomas is safe. That Thomas knows what’s going on.”

 It starts to run back out along his tongue.

 “Their thoughts and feelings aren’t important.” His hands ball into fists. “I don’t care about them.”

 His tongue starts to taste sweet again.

 “I don’t care about them,” he repeats in a whisper, “they aren’t important to me.”

 The salt of the tears goes perfectly with the sweetness on his tongue.

————————————————

Something is wrong.

 Something is horribly, desperately wrong and the others are panicking.

 The barrier is gone. That’s not the bad thing. The bad thing is that along with it, everything in the Mindscape is rushing out of control.

 The walls won’t hold. The doors lock and unlock more often than they stay in place. Floors disappear out of nowhere and open up into yawning black pits. The doors to the Imagination buckle and groan under the onslaught of rushing beasts from the other side. Something is fading.

 They can’t sink out anymore. They need to know where everything is in order to do that. The place is a labyrinth. Only one entrance, one exit. There’s no way that they’ll know the right path unless they run it themselves.

 Janus knows something is broken the instant his eyes open. He can feel it. Cracks wind their way through the walls, through the floor, the ceiling shakes. He’s out of his room in an instant, running through the halls, somewhere, anywhere, are they alright? Where are they? Have they faded?

 “Virgil!”

 “Janus?” Virgil flies into him at breakneck speed, clutching his cape in both hands. “Are you—what’s happening? Where is everyone? Did something go wrong? What’s happening to Thomas?”

 The thread perks its end up eagerly but Janus swallows it down.

 “I don’t know what’s happening,” he says quickly, pulling Virgil closer, “and you’re the first one I’ve seen.”

 “I can’t find anyone,” Virgil pants, “I can’t—there’s no one—we’re going to fade.”

 “We won’t, I promise. We just have to find the others.”

 “Hello?” Another voice calls out from around the corner. “Hello, where the fuck is everyone? Who decided to break shit without me?”

 “Remus!”

 “That’s me, where the fuck—“ Remus barrels around the corner, almost knocking them over— “Virgil! Snake Face!”

 “Remus—“ Virgil wraps Remus in his arms, clutching him tightly. “Where were you? What’s going on?”

 “I was draining the viscera from a partially dissected sperm whale—“ of course he was— “but then everything started shaking.”

 “We can’t find the others.”

 “Then what the fuck are we waiting for?”

 They don’t even look back; Remus grabs Janus’s sleeve and Virgil still hasn’t let go of his cape, dragging him behind as they race through the halls. They can see where the barrier used to be, though with how much the place has shifted, it’s impossible to tell. Janus grits his teeth as they prepare themselves to smash through.

 Nothing happens.

 They just keep barreling down the corridor.

 “Patton! Logan! Roman!”

 “Where the fuck are you guys?”

 “Can you hear us?”

 “Re? Re, is that you?”

 “Ro!”

Remus reroutes them effortlessly, barreling through chunks of disappearing floor and leaping over cracks forming in the tiles. Virgil hangs onto Janus as they go. Janus can’t let go of either of them.

 “In here!”

 A blade flashes through a crumbling chunk of wall and a hand reaches out. Remus grabs it and vaults through the opening.

“Oh my goodness, Virgil!”

 “Pat—“

 Another hand helps to haul him through the crack. The hand he has in his cape pulls uncomfortably at Janus’s neck.

 “Where’s Janus? Did you guys see him?”

 “Yeah, he’s right here, Ja—“

 “Snake Face, get your butt in here.”

 “Don’t just stand there, help you idiots!”

 A sickening crack right above him makes him jerk his head up. His eyes widen as a massive chunk of ceiling starts to fall. Hands wrap around his arms, his clothes, even his waist and pull.

 “Janus?” He blinks through the dust to see Logan staring at him, concern written plainly all over his face. “Are you alright?”

 No, the thread sews, I am now trapped with the five people I abhor most in this world. I am the furthest from alright I could possibly be.

 “Are you all alright,” he asks instead, lifting his hand to fix Logan’s collar, “I’m not hurt.”

 “We’re fine,” Roman says, helping him to his feet, “we managed to get in here before the place really started coming down.”

 “What’s going on?”

 Patton’s shoulders slump at Virgil’s question. “We were hoping you would know.”

 Janus bites back a curse, turning to look at the opening. It’s blocked now, completely choked in dust. He glances around.

 “Where are we?”

 “Safe room,” Roman says, tapping the wall, “something Remy helped us come up with.”

 “Remy?”

 “He’s a bitch but he knows what he’s doing.”

 “Fair enough.” Janus grits his teeth. “So what do we know?”

 “Who was awake when it happened,” Logan asks, “Roman and I were not.”

 “I was also not awake,” Virgil mutters, “and I would really appreciate this not being how I wake up ever again.”

 “I agree.” Janus glances at Patton and Remus. “I was asleep too. Remus, you said you were awake?”

 “I was in the middle of an experiment!”

 Logan perks up. “An experiment?”

 “As much as I love watching you two be nerds together,” Roman breaks in, “can we do that later?”

 “Of course.”

 “Spoilsport,” Remus says fondly, “but it wasn’t me. I’ve done this experiment before, nothing I do could do…this.”

 All eyes turn to Patton.

 “…Padre?”

 Patton shakes his head. “I…I don’t know. I had just gotten up to get a glass of water when it shattered in my hand.”

 “It did what?”

 “Are you hurt?”

 “Let me see.”

 “No, no, guys I’m fine,” Patton says quickly, holding up his hands, “but then the whole house started to shake. I don’t—I don’t know what’s going on.”

 Janus’s heart sinks. He’s telling the truth.

 They’re stuck.

 “Oh, god,” Virgil mutters, his hands flying to his head, “oh god, oh my god, no one knows what’s going on.”

 “V,” Logan murmurs, crouching down and reaching to take his hands, “Virgil, look at me.”

 “We’re going to mess everything up—it’s going to be so bad—what’s happing to Thomas?”

 “Virgil, look at me, come now, it’s going to be alright—“

 “How can you promise that?” Virgil’s voice starts to rise. “Have you seen what’s happening?”

 “Easy, shadow-ling,” Roman murmurs too, his hand carding through Virgil’s hair, “just listen to Logan.”

 “You’re doing well,” Logan encourages, rubbing Virgil’s arms, “just stay here, with me, alright?”

 Janus watches Patton and Remus stand a little closer to the three of them, shielding them from the debris still raining down from outside. Something in his gut clenches.

 Then he notices the tremors are slowing as the other calm Virgil down.

 And it clenches more.

 “It’s us,” he mutters quietly, almost too quietly for the others to hear, “it’s us. We have to stick together.”

 The thread on his tongue twitches angrily. There’s almost no sweetness left in his mouth now.

 Patton looks over his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

 “Look—“ Janus points at a crack in the wall— “they’re moving slower now. The closer we are together the less this place falls apart.”

 Virgil’s next inhale is almost a sob.

 “I really do just ruin everything, don’t I?”

 “No,” Roman says firmly, wrapping his arms tightly around the shaking Side, “we’ve had this conversation, shadow-ling. You’re important to us. You’re not a burden. And this certainly isn’t your fault.”

 “We need you,” Patton echoes, reaching down to rest his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “don’t go anywhere.”

 “Don’t make us chase you.” Remus bonks his head into Virgil’s. “Not fun.”

 Virgil still looks doubtful. Which, alright, isn’t his fault. Voices in the head, not to mention the general anxiety, it’s no surprise, not really. Janus clears his throat.

 “Virgil,” he says softly, crouching down as well, “Virgil, listen to me.”

 Purple eyes stare at him.

 “You haven’t lost us,” he promises, “you won’t lose us. You’re important, not just for Thomas, but for us too. We care about you. All of you.”

 “Fuck, J,” Virgil huffs, swiping at his face, “why’d you have to make me cry?”

 The tremors keep settling.

 Patton throws his arms around Virgil. “See? We care about you, kiddo. We love you.”

 Something else twitches in Janus’s throat as he hears Patton say that. Virgil must notice it too; he looks up and squints at Patton.

 “Have we ever told you that we care about you?”

  Bingo.

 Patton falters, his grip wavering. His smile wobbles. “W-well, no, not really, but that’s okay! I know you do.”

 Logan tilts his head. “But you enjoy hearing it said.”

 The smile slips even further. “…you don’t like saying it.”

 “That’s no excuse!” Roman reaches over Virgil to get to Patton. “If you want us to say it, we can say it!”

 Janus shifts his attention. “Patton?”

 “…yeah?”

 “No one takes care of us like you do,” he says softly, “and none of us care as openly as you do.”

 Patton’s eyes widen. “Janus—“

 “You try,” he continues, not to be interrupted, not now, “and that is perhaps the most admirable thing we could ask for.”

 “He made Pat cry too,” Virgil mutters, pulling the now-sobbing side in for a hug.

 “Happy tears,” Patton manages, “I—wow.”

 A crack in the wall disappears.

 “Is that what this is?” Logan looks around. “An…emotional problem?”

 “We’re fading, the whole Mindscape is,” Janus says around the thread, “if we—if we stay, then we can fix this.”

 “O-oh.”

 That tone of voice always leads somewhere good. Sure enough, as he looks around, he sees Logan adjust his glasses and take a step back.

 “And where are you going?”

 “I’m not sure I can help,” Logan says flatly. “You have the answer already.”

 “But we’re not done.”

 “And what do you expect I can lend to this problem?” He spreads his arms wide. “I’m no expert on emotions, nor am I useful in proving things that are already true.”

 “Wait, what the fuck are you talking about, L?” Virgil scrambles up. “What are we proving here?”

 “That you are important.” Logan frowns as Patton and Roman scramble up too. “What?”

 “You’re implying that you’re not important,” Remus growls, “and I’m pissed about it.”

 “But—“

 “No buts!” Roman points a stern finger at him. “Believing yourself to be unimportant is a falsehood!”

 “I never said I was unimportant,” Logan corrects, “I said I would not be helpful in this situation.”

 “Bullshit. You helped me calm down.”

 “So did Patton and Roman.”

 “You figured out that I like being told that you guys care about me!”

 “That was obvious.”

 “Logan,” Janus calls softly to get his attention, “Logan, if you believe that anyone knows us better than you, you are gravely mistaken.”

 Logan’s mouth drops open.

 “You claim not to know emotions,” he continues, stepping closer, “but you know us, perhaps better than we know ourselves at times. You are kind, you are wonderful, and if you ever stop teaching us things, I am sure we would never recover.”

 He slips Logan’s glasses back into position.

 “You are not just Logic,” he murmurs, “you’re Logan. Stay. Be Logan.”

 Logan swallows heavily.

 “I must ask,” he says hoarsely as a tear rolls down his cheek, “if you intend to make everyone cry today.”

 Janus chuckles. “No, I don’t, but it seems that it may be a side effect. I promise I’m not trying.”

 “You won’t make me cry,” Remus remarks casually, “not without trying. I don’t care.”

 Oh, Remus. Janus doesn’t bother to hide his smile at the indignant squawk from Virgil as Remus implies that he doesn’t care about the others.

 “I don’t need to try to make you cry,” he says, “I’ve never wanted that. I just want you to be listened to.”

 “…fuck you, Snakey.”

 Patton lunges forward as Remus sniffles.

 “Do we just like…not talk to each other, then?” Virgil wipes his nose. “Because I sure as hell don’t remember us getting this emotional about anything.”

 Then Janus realizes that his mouth tastes bitter.

 The thread has not been idle, he realizes in horror, not while he’s been spilling his guts to the others in an effort to hold them all together. It’s dragged itself over his tongue, scraping every last bit down his throat, winding tighter and tighter. His mouth tastes bitter. It’s not supposed to be bitter. It burns, scraping along the sides of his mouth until they smart. He swallows frantically. It’s not working. Nothing is working. It hurts. His tongue hurts. His throat hurts.

 The floor wobbles.

 He can’t catch his breath.

 His eyes land on Roman.

 No.

  No.

 No, no, no, he can’t stop now.

 Not here.

 Not with Roman.

 Roman just watches the others wrap their arms tightly around his brother still wiping snot from his nose. A soft smile curls at his mouth that never reaches his eyes. Behind him, massive cracks open up in the walls.

 No.

 He can’t let Roman fall.

 Not after everything.

 Roman notices he’s staring at him. He just raises an eyebrow.

 “Going to make me cry again,” he asks softly, “or are you all finished for the day?”

 The thread stabs words into his tongue until he can taste blood.

  Well, it’s not like it’s difficult to make you cry.

  If I had something that would work, I’d say it.

  Only if you were a Side worth worrying about.

 No.

 No, no, he won’t say that. He won’t.

 The thread tightens around his throat as a harsher warning. The bitterness on his tongue worsens.

 “It’s alright, Janus—“ no, it isn’t— “I know you don’t like me much anyway. Don’t force yourself.”

  At least you’re being considerate for once in your life.

  Took you this long to figure it out, hmm? No wonder you’re called the stupidest Side.

 Janus grits his teeth against the thread. It just keeps tightening. His mouth has never tasted sweet in his entire life.

 He needs to tell Roman how important he is. He needs to tell Roman that they all have to start paying attention to him. He needs Roman to know that he’s sorry, sorry he ever implied otherwise.

 All that comes out of his mouth instead is: “you need attention.”

 Roman blinks. “Well, yes, I’d say that’s true.”

 He has to tell Roman that Thomas needs him, needs him to be strong and healthy, to dream.

 What comes out instead is: “you spend so much time stuck in your head.”

 Roman frowns. “If that’s the best you can do, there’s no need to overexert yourself. I can make myself cry much easier than that.”

 Why won’t his tongue cooperate?

 The thread just tightens around him again. A warning. A threat. A promise.

 He can’t tell the truth.

 He can’t.

 He can’t.

 It doesn’t matter. Roman won’t know how important he is. He’ll think that Janus hates him and that’s fine.

 Janus struggles to breathe.

 “There are two Creativities,” he grits out, even if the ‘but only one Roman’ won’t follow.

 “Patton is the heart,” comes out next, separate from ‘but he needs you to love.’

 “We don’t need you,” hurts on the way out because it leaves behind ‘but we want you, we want you so badly.’

 The Mindscape is crumbling. Janus can’t speak. The others are going to fade. He can’t help Roman. He’s ruined everything.

 He’s forgotten what sweetness tastes like.

 Roman is frowning at him. He stands, striding across the broken floor, eyes flint chips. Janus closes his eyes and braces for the hit.

 Roman’s fingers hook into his collar and yank.

 “What the fuck is that?”

 “Why is it cutting into him?”

 “How long has that been there, this whole time?”

 “Janus—Janus can you breathe?”

 What?

 Janus opens his eyes in confusion. Roman’s still holding onto him but his eyes are fixed not on his face, but lower. Something shiny casts light onto Roman’s face.

 “Janus,” Roman asks softly, “what is this?”

 “What is what?”

 “This,” Roman says darkly, fingertips tracing across something, “around your neck.”

 No.

 No, it’s not real.

 It can’t be real.

 …can it?

 “It’s not a thread,” Janus spits out, his tongue smarting in the air, “and it doesn’t keep me from telling the truth.”

 Roman’s eyes widen in horror. He reaches forward and Janus keens as the pressure tightens.

 “Don’t stop,” he grits out, “it doesn’t hurt.”

 “The sky is green.”

 “What?”

 “The sky is green,” Roman repeats, still glaring hard at Janus’s neck, “the Fourth of July is in October.”

 The thread loosens.

 “Remus, get over here,” Roman barks. A second later, two more fingers slip under the thread. “Now lie.”

 “Um, ventricles are found in the liver.”

 “Blue is made of red and orange.”

 “The alphabet starts with the letter ‘m.’”

 Logan catches on next. “The sun goes around the earth,” he says, nudging Virgil.

 “Uh—“ he glances around— “Patton isn’t wearing glasses.”

 “Paris is in Canada.”

 “Books are printed on alligator skin.”

 “Water isn’t clear.”

 “Mark Zuckerberg isn’t the inventor of Facebook.”

 “Earmuffs go on your hands.”

 “Hamburgers are vegan.”

 Lies spin out of their mouths. Remus grits his teeth as he pulls at the thread. Patton looks around frantically. Janus still can’t breathe.

 The room is settling, slowly but surely, but there are still cracks snaking their way through the walls, the ceiling, the floor. Right under Janus.

 Roman looks directly at him.

 “I hate you.”

 The thread gives.

 The brothers yank, unspooling the thread from around Janus’s throat, throwing it at the walls. It freezes in mid-air, still glowing gold.

 The cracks weren’t cracks, they were threads.

 The golden thread melts seamlessly into the wall, knitting the place back together, stitch by stitch. The walls settle, glowing softly as the floor reconstitutes under them. The Mindscape breathes.

 Janus hasn’t noticed any of this. He’s too busy collapsing into Roman’s arms, sobbing his heart out.

 “Shh, shh, sweetheart,” Roman coos, “I’ve got you, you’re alright, you did it, come here…”

 “He’s gonna be cold,” he hears someone—probably Virgil?—say over his shoulder, “grab a blanket. Can we sink?”

 “Let me try.” A second later there’s another sigh of relief. “Yeah. We can. Let’s get him to the living room, I’ll get a fire going.”

 “In the fireplace, this time, Remus!”

 “Yeah, yeah!”

 “Come on, little snake,” Roman coaxes, lifting him up to a broad chest, “let’s get you warm.”

 He’s still sobbing breathlessly, draped uselessly over Roman. He feels another set of arms as they sink into the couch.

 “I’ve got him,” Patton says quietly, “hey, kiddo, can you hear me?”

 The next sob is slightly higher.

 “Shh, shh, it’s okay, kiddo, you don’t have to speak right now.” Patton rubs soothing circles into his back. “Just stay right here with me, right here, the others are just getting the nest set up.”

 N-nest?

 “Give him to me, I’ll help him down while you slide in.”

 “Make sure to get his head, he’s having trouble right now.”

 “I understand.”

 A warm hand cups the back of his neck, leaning his nose into the crook of a warm shoulder. Books, coffee, whiteboard pen…Logan.

 “You’re freezing,” Logan murmurs, concerned, “let’s get you warmed up…no hyperthermia today, hmm?”

 Janus almost groans in relief as his scales hit something thick and soft and warm. He’s still crying, isn’t he? Why?

 “Hey, Snakey,” Remus mumbles, his hand under Janus’s head, “you gotta roll over, you’re gonna crush yourself that way. Come on—for crying out loud, you bastards, how long does it take to undo a clasp?”

 “Got it.”

 He suppresses a whine as his cape flies away, only for it quickly be replaced by a warm, warm blanket. He blinks his eyes open, straining to see through the tears. He can only see blobs. What is happening?

 “Rest,” comes another voice, is that Roman? Isn’t Roman angry at him? He can’t stop the confused whine.

 “Shh, shh, easy, little snake,” Roman soothes, running his hand through his hair, “breathe, that horrible thing was choking you.”

 The horrible thread…is it…gone?

 “Relax, come on, shh…easy,” he says earnestly when Janus whines again, “don’t work yourself up.”

 “He’s gonna hurt himself if he keeps clawing at his throat like that.”

 He’s doing what now?

 Warm hands take each of his and…oh. Well, maybe he was.

 “That’s it,” Patton whispers, “easy…”

 “What…what’s going on?”

 “You did it,” Logan says softly, stroking his thumb along the back of Janus’s hand, “you figured it out.”

 “But—“ he swallows, still not used to the freedom in his throat— “I couldn’t do it.”

 “You weren’t supposed to do it on your own, Jan-Jan. We all had to do it, remember?”

 “That’s what you said, J.”

 “So we did,” Patton finishes, smiling at him, “and it worked.”

 “But—but I—“ Janus’s eyes flash up to catch Roman’s.

 Roman, who sat there and didn’t protest when Janus couldn’t say one nice thing about him.

 Roman, whom Janus has hurt so many times.

 Roman, who pried the thread away from Janus’s throat without blinking.

 Roman, who caught him, and is still here.

 “Maybe the next time we talk,” Roman says softly, “we can do it without that thread around your throat, hmm?”

 “I’m sorry.”

 “Shh, little snake,” he murmurs, gently stroking a tear away from Janus’s cheek, “I know. But not right now, okay? You’re still crying.”

 He is?

 Oh.

 “Close your eyes,” he encourages, his hand still cupping Janus’s face, “rest, we all need it.”

 “Did we—“ his tongue is heavy— “did we ever figure out what happened?”

 “I believe Thomas had something of an identity crisis,” Logan remarks, “but we can figure that out later. For now…we should all try and go back to sleep.”

 “Great. Pop Star, budge.”

 “Hey! Kiddo!”

 “Ah. Much better.”

 “Pocket Protector, stop pretending you don’t wanna cuddle and get down here.”

 “In a moment, Remus, I need to take my glasses off.”

 “Ro-Bro! Get over here.”

 “Re, pulling me over Janus is not going to work.”

 “L, are you coming?”

 “Must you all be so impatient?”

 “Yes, my dear darling nerd, now come here.”

 Logan rolls his eyes and lies down, still holding Janus’s hand. On his other side, Roman leans Janus’s head into his chest and hums softly.

 “There. Now we’re all together again.”

 “Shut the fuck up, Princey, I’m trying to sleep.”

 “Shut up yourself, then.”

 “Kiddos.”

 “Sorry, Pat.”

 Logan chuckles. Remus shifts on the edge of the blanket nest. Roman tilts Janus’s chin up.

 “Are you alright,” he whispers as the others drift off to sleep, “not hurt?”

 Janus shakes his head. “I…was it really a lie?”

 “Was what really a lie, little snake?”

 “…you said ‘I hate you.’”

 “Oh, that.” Roman chucks him lightly under the chin. “What does your mouth taste like?”

 …sweet.

 It’s sweet.

 Oh.

  Oh.

 Roman smiles. “Go to sleep, little snake.”

 The Sides fall asleep in the Mindscape, threads wearing them tightly together.

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I’ve been trying to debug the taglist recently, so I’ve taken off some URLs that don’t seem to be working anymore. If that happens to be yours and you want back on, let me know!

[serpentinesomebody]

Why Janus Planned The Entirety Of His Own Acceptance Arc From The Very Beginning

I think that Janus planned everything. From his reveal all the way to POF, he mapped it all out like a game of chess. And I think I finally know why, too.

So let’s start at his goals. He represents deceit, and has the goal of self-preservation. Additionally, however, he wants the one thing all sides want: for Thomas to listen to them.

Janus’ introduction is very different from Virgil’s. Thomas didn’t even know about him. And when things settle down, we get an idea as to what his first impression of Janus is: he’s scared of him, and skeptical, too. He doesn’t trust him. But this is exactly what Janus wanted. But why? Why present himself as a frightening and untrustworthy side? How could that possibly benefit him or Thomas?

Well, let’s look at what would have happened if just appeared and introduced himself as, well, himself. No disguises, no theatre scenario, none of that.

Well for one, Thomas probably wouldn’t be as afraid of him. What scared Thomas so much, I think, was that Janus was able to disguise himself for almost half an hour and he didn’t even know. And until Patton appeared at the end, he truly believed that he had no morality, that it was Janus the entire time. He gets the impression that this new side can manipulate him, and quite easily, too. So not only does he not trust this new side, but he’s scared of him, too.

But if Janus introduced himself upfront? Thomas still wouldn’t trust him, but there wouldn’t be much fear either. Thomas would likely just see him as a simple nuisance. He just doesn’t naturally invoke the same fear that Virgil does. Without the fear factor, he only has distrust.

But why would Thomas not trust him if he introduced himself upfront?

Well, he has multiple things going against him. His primary function is deceit. Not exactly helping his case. But let’s say they look past that. Well, he also has a ‘snake face,’ which really doesn’t make him come across as an honest, well-meaning person. Lastly, pretty much all the sides do not like him. Virgil makes his full-on hatred pretty obvious, and Logan certainty doesn’t seem to like him much either. Patton sees him as an antagonist, his opposite. Roman appreciates his charm, but still sees him as a creepy villain nonetheless. All the sides are against him, so how could he convince Thomas to trust him?

But if trying to intimidate Thomas into listening to him won’t work, and being honest won’t work, what will?

Deceiving him.

He knows that even if he’s honest, Thomas still will not trust him. So if Thomas isn’t going to trust him either way, he needs to find a way to manipulate the situation so that even if Thomas won’t listen to him at the moment, he still has control over the situation.

The first episode with Janus goes perfectly according to plan.

One thing that always struck me as odd was that this was the situation that Janus decided he needed to be involved in? Some texting drama?

But that’s exactly what Janus needed. He needed something small, something he could ensure he could manage. If he had made his first appearance in SVS, that would be way too much for Thomas to take in at once, and Thomas wouldn’t have any clue as to what Janus was like. Janus introduced himself over something minor, something insignificant that he wasn’t truly needed for, for the sole purpose of leaving an impression. He meant to reveal himself at the end.

Now let’s move on to SVS. This time, Janus drops the disguise much earlier. And it’s so, so obvious that this was intentional. Janus says things he knows Logan would never say. Hell, Janus doesn’t often use metaphors himself. He proposes hypothetical situations and uses similes, but when does he ever say anything like ‘straight from the horse’s mouth’?

So if he dropped the disguise so early, why even bother doing it in the first place? Simple: he just needed to buy himself a bit more time before Logan came. He needed to ensure that the courtroom scenario was already set up. Janus knew that Logan would be upset that he wasn’t included in a courtroom scenario and would possibly try to insert himself into one of the roles that Janus didn’t want him in.

This begs the question, though, why have Logan on the sidelines?

Because Janus knows that Logan is an intelligent and professional person, and would likely point out that the trial wasn’t exactly following legal code. So, Janus benches him.

As for Patton, well, it just makes the most sense that he would be in the position he was. Patton is the one that Janus is trying to oppose.

But what about Virgil? Why have Virgil as the jury? Why decide that the one person who hates him the most, who is the most biased against him, gets to decide who wins the case? Simple: Janus knows that Virgil will still let him win the case. But how does he have so much faith in that? Because he knows Virgil. They have history, and by now, Virgil’s actions are predictable to him. Virgil is a pessimist by nature, and blunt. He won’t lie to Thomas and say that he thinks he’s a good person just to spare Thomas’ feelings. Janus knows that despite what Virgil thinks of him, he will judge Thomas as guilty.

As for Roman? Janus may not know Roman as well as Virgil, but Roman is predictable. When it comes to morals, he will follow Patton, no matter what. He has to in order to keep up his image as the hero. So, Janus knows that Virgil will judge Thomas as guilty, and he knows that Roman will sentence Thomas to go to the wedding because he knows that Roman knows that that’s what Patton wants.

That was his entire goal for that episode: ensure that Thomas goes to the wedding.

And the reason he needs Thomas to go to the wedding is because it sets the stage for POF.

Janus knows that Thomas will be upset after the wedding, and he knows that Thomas’ mood will have an effect on Patton. His first goal in the episode, aside from bringing up a few facts, is to get Patton to snap. He needs Thomas to see that sometimes Patton doesn’t always know everything, that things are more complicated then that. And, more importantly, he needs to present himself as the hero this time.

As I said, Janus knows that Roman will side with Patton no matter what. So if Roman is by Patton’s side, then who’s there for Thomas?

He is.

Janus presents himself as the hero. This scene is such a crucial moment. He’s clearly trying to portray the image that he is on Thomas’ side.

But if that’s the case, then why does he dodge Patton’s attack and let Thomas get hit instead?

He feels like he has no other choice. Patton is still insisting that it’s dangerous for Thomas to take self-care too far. The only way Janus can get Patton to see that he’s hurting Thomas is...to let Patton literally, physically hurt Thomas. This, I think, is probably the most difficult thing Janus has ever had to do thus far. Thomas’ safety and happiness is his one goal, there is no one who he puts before Thomas, not even himself.

It’s the hardest thing Janus has had to do, but it works. Patton finally realizes, finally admits that he doesn’t know everything.

Janus is so close to getting accepted.

But there’s one problem left: Roman.

Roman doesn’t trust Janus. And here’s the thing: Janus needed Patton to accept him, yes, but Roman was also a crucial component. I don’t think Janus’ intention was to antagonize Roman, rather, I think he wanted Roman’s approval. Pushing Thomas’ hero down doesn’t help anyone, especially Thomas. He has Patton’s approval, now he needs Roman’s. He needs Roman, Thomas’ hero, to see him as one too. And that, that is where he made a horrible mistake.

He tried to get Roman to take a liking to him in the courtroom, not by much, of course, since he still wanted Roman to sentence Thomas to the wedding after all, but enough for Roman to not be completely against him.

But he screwed up. Roman realized that Janus’ praise in the courtroom wasn’t 100% honest, and now he full-on hates Janus.

The way Janus tries to fix this, I think, is by giving his name. Granted, I’m sure that he would have done it sometime during POF anyway, but he thinks that it’s enough to change Roman’s mind and it isn’t.

This, I think, is the real reason why Janus is so harsh when Roman makes fun of his name.

What he expects is going to happen, is that Roman is going to warm up to him a bit. Or at the least, that he’ll stop spiraling/panicking and take a minute to truly listen to Janus, perhaps allow him to explain himself.

But that’s not what happens. And Janus just snaps.

Because he was so close, so close to wrapping up his acceptance in a perfect, neat little bow and it is ruined.

Sure, he still had his relationship with Virgil and Logan to work on, but if Patton and Roman were on his side, Thomas would be too. And it would be three against two, meaning he’d likely get a permanent seat at the table. He could fix his relationship with Virgil and Logan later, but he needed a seat at the table. Yes, his plan is kinda rushed, but he wants to get to Thomas as fast as possible so he can help him with things like this in the future-things where there could be even more important things at stake. I’m sure he didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he felt like he had to go with this plan in order to help in the long-term.

But Roman laughs at his name and he is so frustrated, so tired, and he doesn’t know how else he can try to get Roman on his side and he snaps.

Afterwards, you can tell he regrets it. He knows he messed up.

And when Thomas says that Roman is still his hero, Roman turns to Janus in a silent question of ‘is he lying?’ But Janus interprets it as, ‘is he telling the truth?’ and so he nods. And when he sees that Roman is upset, he realizes that there was a miscommunication between them, but before he can do anything about it, Roman is already gone.

TLDR: All of Janus’ actions are planned to get him a seat at the table, except for when he snaps and calls Roman ‘the evil twin,’ and fucks up majorly.

[foreverfangirlalways]

Vanilla and Buttercream

Summery: Janus has been on an emotional roller coaster in regards to Virgil, but after overhearing a conversation he is fed up and decides to take matters into his own hands.

INSPIRED BY THIS TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@stormy_gale/video/6900405649490873605?sender_device=mobile&sender_web_id=6932913585296918021&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0

Ship: Anxceit, Analogical, Logince

Warning: cursing, angst, disguises

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-

*I finally got inspired to write again! I hope I am able to finish up the rest of my stories soon. Let me know if you want this from Virgils POV!*

——

“That’s it, I’m done. I’m so fucking done!” Janus growled under his breath as he walked down the corridors towards his room. As soon as he reached it, he slammed his door closed and threw his hat onto his bed.

When Virgil first broke up with him and moved in with the light sides, Janus understood. He hated it and felt like the love of his life ripped his heart out and threw it into a blender, but he had understood. After all, who would want to be stuck with an “ugly, lying, two faced snake” forever?

Even though it was Roman who said the words and then slammed the lights sides mind palace door in his face when he went looking for Virgil, Janus knew deep down that Virgil had to feel that way.

Why else would he have left?

Then when Virgil chucked his favorite hoodie out the door and into the dark realm with a note saying ‘I don’t need this anymore, and I feel like someone needs it more than me anyways,’ Janus got hope again. He quickly took the hoodie before any of the others could see it, and he slept with it on every night in hopes that one time he would wake and be holding Virgil in his arms again.

He always woke up disappointed.

Once he got accepted himself, things started to change. Virgil began to hangout with him again. He would sit on the counter and eat fruit loops while Janus stood next to him and drank a smoothie out of a wine glass. They worked together to help Thomas, listened to music while sitting in the living room, hell, Virgil even asked if he could tag along with Janus to go visit Remus.

And that last movie night when Virgil sprawled out on top of the back of the couch and fell asleep with his head on Janus’s shoulder, Janus subtly kiss Virgil on the cheek and whisper, “I miss you too” in his ear.

But the next morning, things were different. Virgil began to hang around Logan more and more. He seemed to be distancing himself from Janus, and that was heart wrenching. At game night Patton asked Virgil what the traits of his crush were and he replied with, “calculating, smooth, intelligent, and understanding” while staring Janus in the eyes but sent a wink to Logan at the end.

That was heartbreaking.

And when he walked in on the pair cuddling on the couch, with Logan holding Virgil like Janus used to, he felt the last few bit of his heart turn to ash.

But then just before Janus was to turn and wallow, he heard Virgil speak.

“I think Janus is over me. Do you think I should just move on? I thought when he kissed me and whispered that he missed me he meant it, but he hasn’t even tried to talk to me once since then. I know I was an ass in the past, but I really thought we made up. I even described him perfectly in with the crush question!”

Janus felt his heart heal in real time. “All this time Virgil has just wanted me to approach him! To prove I meant what I said!”

However, Janus’s thoughts came to a crashing halt when he heard Logan chuckle darkly.

“I told you he was probably just talking in his sleep. You know, you’re description also covered the traits of another side.” Logan told Virgil while rubbing his hand up and down Virgil’s arm.

Every time Logan’s hand rose, Janus felt his anger and blood pressure move up with it.

When Virgil looked up at Logan with his big, honey brown eyes and mused, “yeah, I guess it did,” Janus whirled around and stormed to his room in anger and frustration.

He was just so utterly done with being polite. He tried to be nice, he tried to be thoughtful, he tried giving space, but fuck. That. Shit.

“If Virgil wants calculating, if he wants proof of my feelings, if he wants Logan, then I am damn well going to give him it all.”

Janus made sure persuaded Roman to need Logan, dawned his Logan attire, made sure he had the correct tie, and headed right for Virgil.

As soon as Pseudo-Logan walked into the living room, Virgil looked up and smiled. Janus felt his blood boil from the knowledge that the smile isn’t really for him, and he guessed it must have showed because Virgil immediately dropped the smile.

“What happened? Did Roman piss you off or something?”

Pseudo-Logan adjusted his glasses and shook his head. “It was nothing I could not handle.”

Virgil nodded, and then kind of just looked at the other side. Moving along before Virgil caught on, Pseudo-Logan walked over and pulled Virgil’s hood down, making him look away.

“You know, you smell just like vanilla.”

Virgil didn’t really react to that, so Janus wrapped his hand over the smaller sides shoulder and had sprawled his fingers across his neck, just like he would always do get his attention when they were together.

Virgil grimaced but then smiled, knowing only one person who would ever dare to touch him like that.

Despite noticing Virgil’s reaction and realizing his cover is basically blown, Janus continues but in a much more obvious manner.

“You taste like buttercream.”

Virgil smiled wider, now with absolute certainty that the side next to him is Janus. Janus looked up and noticed Logan and Roman standing in the doorway, staring. He summoned his hat and decided to make sure Virgil knew 100 percent how Janus feels, without an audience.

“Your feelings up my senses with empty calories.” He brings the hat up, turns back into his true self, and kisses a smiling Virgil.

...

Afterwards he will learn about how Roman and Logan are a couple, and Roman suggested that Logan help out Virgil by making Janus jealous. Later he would hear the full conversation they had on the couch. But for now, Janus is happy to just finally have Virgil in his arms again.

Taglist (pls let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

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[fangirlwriting-stories]

Reflecting Light

Chapter One

Chapter Twelve:

Remus was sitting up in the crow’s nest when he felt someone start climbing down below.  He glanced over the side and saw Virgil, which was about the time Remus started wishing he could climb down the other side.

He shifted to the other wall and crossed his arms, doing his best to resign himself to his fate.  Virgil’s arms finally appeared over the side of the crow’s nest, and pushed the owner of the arms upward until Virgil could finish climbing up and sat down across from Remus.

Remus didn’t say anything, not sure if whatever he came up with would just piss Virgil off.

“So,” Virgil said, crossing his arms and looking just as uncomfortable as Remus felt.  “I’m an idiot, huh.”

Remus blinked.  “What?”

“I should’ve guessed.  After what happened with Thomas, and how you reacted, that you’d gone through something similar.  I’m sorry, Remus.”

“You’re sorry?”

“Yeah.  Yelling at you with all the fury of hell probably wasn’t the best choice in that situation.”

“What?  No, I needed that.  I would have thought you were lying about that stuff not being okay if you hadn’t brow-beaten it into me like that.  Besides, why are you apologizing?  I lied to you.”

“Yeah, but I get why.  If I ran from The Light and an abusive authority figure and found myself on the ship owned by two heads of the rebellion…” Virgil nodded to himself.  “I’d lie too.”

“Still.  Sorry I lied,” Remus said anyway.

Virgil smiled a little.  “It’s okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Remus leaned back against the wall.  “I told your dad.  Well, I gave him a hypothetical that wasn’t actually a hypothetical, but yeah.  He tried to convince me you wouldn’t hate me.”

“No one ever hated you,” Virgil said.  “And if they did I’d kick their ass.”

Remus laughed a little, looking back up at Virgil.  “Can I, uh.  Can I tell you my actual story now?” he asked.

“If you want to, go for it.”

So Remus did.  It felt nice to actually tell someone who didn’t know, without trying to disguise anything or use metaphors that he was also really bad at disguising.

Virgil somehow looked guilty again when Remus finished.  He shook his head with a sigh.  “Shit, Remus, I’m sorry.”

“Again?” Remus asked, baffled.  “You didn’t do anything.”

“I just…” Virgil sighed.  “I hate the idea of you being so scared we’d hurt you, Remus.  I wish I’d known.”

“You didn’t need to,” Remus said with a small smile, nudging Virgil in the side.  “You helped anyway.”

Virgil smiled a little back.  “Hey, Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“Is this what you were going to tell us after lunch before Roman found you?”

Remus winced, and nodded.  “I didn’t want to fight him,” he murmured.  “I didn’t want to fight anyone back home, and I didn’t want you counting on me if I knew I wasn’t going to be able to help you.”

“We’re not going to make you fight anyone,” Virgil said instantly.

“I know that,” Remus said.  “But thanks for the confirmation.”

They moved on to other topics after that, and Virgil talked about how much he and Janus had both missed him the past couple days.  Remus had made some kind of joke about how peaceful his last couple days had been, but immediately after he pulled Virgil into a bear hug, so he was pretty sure Virgil didn’t buy his bullshit.  After that they lapsed into silence for a while, until Remus smacked at a bird that flew overhead and Virgil laughed.

They probably would have stayed up there for most of the morning if Thomas, who wasn’t allowed in the crow’s nest yet, hadn’t called from down below that he wanted a piggyback ride from Remus.  Remus called over the side that they’d be down in a minute, and then followed Virgil down.

Half an hour later, after more than a few remarks from Virgil about how unfair Remus’ muscles were, things were feeling closer to normal.  They would have felt completely normal if Janus had been there and Roman hadn’t been standing off to the side very obviously trying not to look at them.

One of those problems, at least, got solved after lunch, when Virgil asked Remus to come up by the wheel so he could talk to Janus.  He offered to go with him, but Remus declined.

Janus was standing at the wheel as Remus approached.  He stopped when Janus noticed and turned to face him and moved to lean tentatively back against the railing.

Remus wasn’t sure what Janus wanted him to say, so safe to say he was pretty glad when he spoke first.

“So, Virgil told me some of what happened,” he said.  Remus nodded slightly.

After another moment, Janus sighed, looking just as uncomfortable as Remus felt.  “I shouldn’t have gotten angry when Shane showed up, Remus,” he said.  “I should have given you a chance to explain.”

“It’s okay,” Remus said instantly.  “I’m sorry I lied.”

Janus gave a short huff of laughter.  “It’s alright, Remus.  I told you from the beginning you didn’t have to tell me about your past.”

“As long as it didn’t hurt anyone.  The fact that I was a Light soldier could… seriously hurt some people,” Remus muttered.

“It could, yes.  That’s why I was angry.  I… have a lot of people I care about, and I don’t want them to be hurt.”

Remus nodded, looking down.  He waited another moment before speaking again.  “You… why did you still pull Shane off of me?” he asked hesitantly.  “When you found him and me and Roman?”

Janus was silent for a moment, and when Remus looked up again he was staring at him.  “Remus, he was hurting you,” he said.

“But you were angry.  I lied to you, and you said that could cause people you care about to get hurt.”

Janus took a couple steps forward and grabbed Remus’ hands.  “You are one of those people, Remus,” he said.  “You are one of those people, and I don’t want you to be hurt either.  I… I’m sorry if I ever made you think otherwise.”

Remus smiled, just a little.  “You didn’t,” he said.  “Not really.  It’s also not your fault that I’m not good with people being upset with me.  It doesn’t mean you don’t get to be mad if I royally screw up.”

Janus nodded.  “I’ll still try and hear you out in the future, before just deciding to be mad.”

“Thanks,” Remus mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.  “That… that would help.”

Janus was quiet for a moment, long enough that Remus glanced back over.  He looked thoughtful.

“Have you talked to your brother yet?” he asked.

Remus looked away.  “No.  I don’t…”  He squeezed his eyes shut.  “I don’t know if you get how terrifying it is that Shane is on the ship.  I’m still trying to understand that I didn’t deserve to get hurt by him, and now he’s right downstairs.  And Roman brought him here.”

“You’re right, I don’t think I could understand that,” Janus admitted.  “But… I can tell you that if something happened to Virgil, I would rain down hell.  Do you think Roman is different?”

“I… I don’t know,” Remus said hesitantly.  “I always thought he just didn’t know.  I mean, I intentionally didn’t tell him.  But then the day I left…” Remus shook his head.  “I don’t know anymore.”

Janus put a hand carefully on Remus’ shoulder.  “Maybe you should ask him.  I can go with you if you want.  Or Virgil can.”

Remus shook his head.  “I don’t want you guys to be there.”  He couldn’t imagine Janus or Virgil being there while he talked to his brother about Shane.  He could barely manage talking to them about it when they were alone.  But talking to Roman… well, it didn’t seem like such a terrible idea.  He should probably try and get better at adult communication and not making assumptions and all that.

The only problem now was finding a way to do so without freaking out.

“Hey Janus?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think instead you and Virgil could stand just out of earshot and look threatening?”

Janus grinned.  “Remus,” he said.  “It would be my absolute pleasure.”

…

Remus ended up meeting with Roman at the front of the ship where he watched sunrises.  Janus and Virgil were loudly going over the weapons supply of the ship at the edge of the steps, and Remus couldn’t say he wasn’t appreciating the way it made Roman squirm as he approached.

Roman sat down on the deck next to him, looking so out of his element that it was almost comical.

“Uh, hey,” he said.

Remus nodded.  “Hi.”  He was aiming for firm or distant, but his voice ended up sounding much quieter than he liked.

Neither of them said anything for a moment.

“How— how long…” Roman started, and trailed off.

“Um.  Dunno,” Remus muttered.  “Can’t really remember a time he didn’t.”

“God,” Roman buried his head in his hands, sounding like Remus had just confirmed something he hadn’t wanted to believe.  “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Remus said.  He was beginning to feel like a broken record, he was saying that so much.

“Yes it is,” Roman insisted.

Remus stared at him.  “No,” he repeated.  “It isn’t.”

“You’re my brother,” Roman said.  “How did I never put the pieces together?  I’ve known you my whole life, I should have been able to tell that someone was— that Shane was—”

“That doesn’t make it your fault,” Remus said.  “That just makes you an oblivious idiot.”

Roman gave a surprised huff of laughter.  “Uh.  What?  Thanks?  I guess?”

“Anytime,” Remus said, patting Roman on the shoulder as seriously as he could manage.  “But seriously, you didn’t know.  Uh.  You didn’t know, right?”

Roman shook his head firmly.  “If I’d known I would have done something.  I swear it.”

Remus wasn’t sure whether to bring up the way that hadn’t gone so well for Patton.  After a minute of deliberation he let it go for now.

Instead, he just nodded.  “Then it isn’t your fault, okay?  My turn to swear it.”

Roman gave a weak chuckle.  “Okay.  I… I’m still so sorry.  For bringing him here and trying to bring you back, I don’t—” he sighed.  “They said they were going to kill you.”

Remus’ eyes widened.  “Seriously?”

Roman nodded.  “Shane actually agreed to go with me to try and find you.  I…” Roman bit his lip.  “I talked to him a couple days ago.”

Remus swallowed.  “What did he say?”

“He said he went through the same thing you did when he was a kid,” Roman said quickly, like he had to get it all out before he changed his mind about saying it.

Remus kind of wished he had.  “…What?”

“Yeah, I know right?” Roman said, shaking his head.  “What a piece of shit reason.”

Remus looked down.  “Yeah.”

Images popped up in his head of Shane as a tiny little kid, just as scared as Remus was.  Why did that image make his stomach squirm in so many different ways?

He wanted to move on in the conversation now.

“It really is okay, though,” he said to Roman.  “Promise.  It was my own fault for assuming the day I left.”

“I’m glad you assumed,” Roman replied.  “It got you out.”

Remus couldn’t come up with anything to say for a second.  “…Oh.”

“Yeah,” Roman said quietly.

They were both quiet for a minute.  Remus leaned his head against Roman’s shoulder and took a minute to appreciate the fact that his brother was here and didn’t know and didn’t think he should be able to handle being abused.

Roman wrapped an arm around Remus’ other side, and they both sat there for a minute.

“Hey, Ro?”

Roman glanced over.  “Yeah?”

“We’re going back for Patton and Logan, right?”

Roman nodded firmly.  “Absolutely,” he said, in the tone he only used when he was certain about something.

“Good,” Remus said with a nod of his own.  “I don’t want to leave them there.  I don’t know what they’d do to them.”

Roman winced, and Remus remembered that he’d only been aware of any kind of problems with their old home for a couple days.  But after a second, Roman just sighed.  “Yeah,” he agreed.

They didn’t say anything for another minute.  Remus decided he was getting sick of serious conversations.  “Do you want to come see the morningstar these idiots trust me with?”

“Oh my god they’ve doomed us all,” Roman muttered, and Remus cackled.  Roman smiled as he glanced back over.

“Yeah, let’s see it,” he said.

“Excellent!” Remus cried, leaping up.  “Come on!”

He dragged Roman back down towards the main deck, straight past Janus and Virgil who gave them a wave as they went, and down to his room.  Maybe he’d find a sword for Roman.  They could definitely cause some chaos together.

Chapter Thirteen

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Finally got another one shot done! This is based very heavily off of a Doctor Who scene which I absolutely adore <3 Hope you enjoy!. Read on Ao3 or under the line!

General writing taglist: @psychedelicships @jwillowwolf @red-imeanblue @lost-in-thought-20 @writerwithtoomanyships (I know you’re not on my taglist @edupunkn00b but you liked the snippet I wrote for a handwriting game, so I thought you’d like to see the whole thing! <3)

If anyone would like to be added to my general writing taglist, let me know! <3

Virgil paced around the small room with anger racing through his veins. The next time he eventually sees his ‘husband’, he is going to have some extremely angry words to say to him. Over the last ten years, he has been kidnapped by Logan’s enemies seven times. Which is fine, it comes with the paperwork when you marry an international and notorious thief with an incredible track record. He just wished that he wasn’t used as leverage by so many people. He could never be sure that Logan would save him, and this time it was certainly not a guarantee because he hadn’t seen Logan for over three years. Virgil received the occasional letter but could never respond to them as he wouldn’t put a returning address. He understands that it’s just to keep him safe, that didn’t stop him from feeling angry at Logan.

Hello, Darling.

Logan/Virgil

Word Count: 2308

Warnings: Very mild cursing and threat.

He couldn’t help but jump slightly when he heard a firm knock on the door and a timid face peered around the opening gap.

“Urm… Hi. I’m Roman. I have to take you down to the office; he wants to talk.” Virgil sighed and reluctantly walked behind Roman as they took a scenic route through the building. He had to admit, this was the most comfortable kidnapping he’s ever been involved in, and when he saw the piping hot tea sitting on an elegant coffee table, it almost felt like it was going to be a polite conversation. There were no weapons this time, which was reassuring, but the several figures lurking in the shadows reduced his confidence significantly.

All of the men stepped forward at once, Virgil gulped before he was encouraged to sit down by the man in the middle. The man smiled and Virgil felt even more concerned now, it was never good when a kidnapper smiled… he knew that from experience.

“Let’s get the embarrassing details out of the way, my name in Janus. This is Patton, Roman you’ve already met and Remus. He’s a pussy cat really, don’t let the menacing face fool you. Virgil looked at each of them in turn and curled into himself a little. He genuinely didn’t know what was happening here. He looked around him for the main exits in case he needed to run away, and he saw another person who wasn’t introduced. A butler, dressed in all black was busy polishing some silverware. This made everything even more confusing for Virgil, but if they were letting the butler stick around, at least hurting or killing him wasn’t top of their agenda.

“Come now, Virgil. I’m not going to harm you, I’m just a friend of Logan’s.” Janus smiled once again, but with a sinister undertone this time and Virgil’s brow furrowed in confusion. He gulped softly before mustering the courage to talk.

“A friend?!” His voice was full of mock surprise and Janus raised an eyebrow in return, almost as if he wasn’t expecting Virgil to engage in any kind of conversation. Remus turned his head towards Virgil growled deeply, so Janus waved a hand nonchalantly and chuckled.

“Alright, alright. An enemy then.” His eyes glimmered with malicious intent and Virgil’s eyes widened at how things had taken a turn so quickly. He put on a pretense of relief and hoped Janus would buy the bravado.

“Oh… which one?” Janus’ smile dropped and his eyes began to cloud over, apparently it was clear that the time for games was over, and Virgil was silently regretting his choices in his mind. Janus slowly spun the chair around and fell into it gracefully. The room began to darken, and Virgil knew that this was where things might get messy.

“Okay, enough games. I grow weary of this. Where is Logan?” Janus slammed his hand down on the table and Virgil realised that he could gain the upper hand in this scenario. He shrugged and darted his eyes around the room.

“Haven’t the faintest idea.” All four men looked at Virgil with an incredulous look in the eye. It’s no surprise that they don’t believe him, but for once in this scenario, he was actually telling the truth. Logan could literally be anywhere. He heard a clatter and remembered the butler who had just dropped a piece of silverware, he frantically picked it up and turned his back to the group.

Janus continued to look at Virgil directly in the eyes, as if he was waiting patiently for Virgil to crumble and break down in front of him and slyly remarks “Come on Virgil, is that credible?”

“It’s truth. Go ahead. Check whatever records you may have about his last whereabouts. You’ll probably find out more than me.” He spoke with a spiteful tone and another man stepped forward with an extremely worried expression.

"B- but you're the man that he loves!" Virgil couldn’t help but laugh at the sincerity of his statement, almost as if he was talking about them like they were some kind of fairytale. He continued to laugh in their faces. The men all looked at each other, and Remus banged in fist against the table, and it brought Virgil back to the task at hand. The longer he was involved in this conversation, the more his insecurities took over and he couldn’t stop his raised voice. "No I'm not! Logan does not and has never loved me." He covered in mouth in shock at the fact that he just shouted a very false statement. Unbeknownst to Virgil, the butler flinched in the background as well.

Patton interrupts again while Janus looks on in confusion. "So my information was correct then. You are the man who loves Logan!" There was an odd mix of confusion and triumph on Patton’s face, there was nothing wrong with what he just said, but the doubt still consumed his mind.

Virgil agrees with a new-found confidence in his voice. "I never denied it. But he's Logan after all. A notorious thief. The most meticulous criminal and the cleverest soul I've ever met. If you think that someone like him is that ordinary, to be staying in love with someone like me... then you have no idea who you're dealing with." Virgil continued to adamantly make his case, yet he still remained oblivious to the butler who had gradually put down his polishing cloth and had slowly made his way closer to the centre of the room.

Janus stands in front of Virgil completely dumbfounded at this point. This clearly wasn’t the way this was supposed to go. Virgil had to admit that he didn’t think he would stay this strong for so long, but it was working. If he bought enough time, maybe… just maybe… Logan might somehow come and save him. "I was assured that you would be the perfect bait! If you were in danger. Logan would come running!"

Despite the small slither of hope Virgil felt, he knew he needed to keep it buried deep down, or he would lose this battle. He needed to keep going, they were starting to crack, he knew it. "Oh, you are a moron then!"

Janus bowed his head and took a deep breath. He regained his composure and looked at Virgil smirking with malicious intent once again before pressing a button underneath the desk. "We both know he's probably already here, he's the master of disguises and this isn't exactly the first time he's had to save you.” He chuckled smugly as a barrage of clicks echoed around the room. Virgil tried to hide the panic in his eyes, he didn’t know what was going to happen now, but the total lockdown of the room was enough to induce all of emotions to come to the foreground and he couldn’t stop what he said next. The butler was now standing directly behind Virgil, and if he had noticed, he would have realised that Janus wasn’t looking at Virgil at all. He was looking behind him that entire time.

"No he isn't. Of course, he isn't! Go on! Look around this place, send your cronies on a wild goose chase. He won't be here! I mean, you can't miss him. Stupid polo shirt, stupid tie and the stupidest pair of glasses you’ve seen. That should be a big enough clue!" He huffed as his chest rose and fell angrily, all the rage he felt when he was first brought to this place bubble to the surface. The butler coughed lightly before calling out timidly, "Virgil..."

"God knows where he is right now, but I promise you, he's doing whatever the HELL he wants because he doesn't give a damn about me!" Virgil shouted out at the ceiling; his arms raised above his head in an aggressive stance. He silently cursed the heavens themselves as the butler tried once again to get Virgil’s attention. He stood right behind Virgil’s ear and called his name once again.

“Virgil!”

He didn’t even realise that his name was being called, he was so consumed by his emotions that he let them flow like an uncontrollable stream of consciousness. "And I'm just fine with that! When you love someone like Logan, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. And if I find myself in danger, let me tell you... Logan is not stupid enough, or sentimental enough and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me!!"

The room fell silent, the butler had been waiting with bated breath for Virgil to realise that he was standing next to him, but he still hadn’t noticed. So eventually, he took hold of Virgil’s wrist lightly. Virgil took a few breaths before looking once, looking twice, then looking a final time before holding his focus on the butler’s face. Virgil stared into his eyes, and they glimmer with recognition. As he gasps, the butler smiles back softly before finally whispering "Hello, Darling."

“Oh I hate you.” Virgil smirks as he realised that Logan had been in the room the whole time.

“No, you don’t. I have to admit, that was a spectacular performance you did just now.”

“Shut up!”

“I mean, I never knew you cared that much.” Their bickering was interrupted by a timid cough coming from in front of them. Logan and Virgil looked at Janus in irritation. How dare he interrupt mummy and daddy talking?! At least it confirmed one thing in Virgil’s mind, they definitely acted like an old married couple.

“Urm, I hate to break up this touching reunion, but I believe we have business to attend to.” Janus held a hand out sarcastically, motioning for Logan to give him something and he just raised an eyebrow in response.

“Oh, where are my manners? First, get rid of your boys.” Janus raised an eyebrow with a tone that screamed why should he follow his orders. Logan looked around the room, eyeing the exits and planning in his mind. Virgil stepped back and let him work, it was the best thing to do… because they are going to regret messing with Logan.

“I don’t like being outnumbered. It makes for too much stupid in the room.” Janus frowned then nodded at Roman, Patton and Remus to leave. They reluctantly make their way to the only unlocked room in the building which was located behind Janus. Remus refused to move initially until Janus snapped his fingers and Remus growled one final time before going through the door and slamming it shut.

“Well. You’re trapped now, Logan. I have the high ground here. Give me, what I want… and I won’t harm Virgil.” Janus held his hand out once again and motioned for something from Logan. It caused Logan to laugh wildly and wipe a tear from his eye. Janus stepped forward, ready to grab Virgil in order to get what he wants.

“Oh Janus, Janus, Janus. You’ve made a big mistake my friend. There is one thing you don’t put in a trap, if you’re smart. If you value your continued existence. If you have any plans of continuing your sordid little business for many years to come, there is one thing you should never ever put in a trap.” He wrapped an arm around Virgil and began to move him away from Janus, towards the now unguarded door. Janus chuckled while being oblivious to what was going on, he was adamant that he still had the high ground after all.

“And what would that be?” Virgil glanced up at Logan with adoration, Logan smirked before pulling a small device out of his pocket and raising it in front of Janus’ eyes. When Janus noticed what he was holding, he shrunk away and pinned himself against the wall.

“… Me.” Logan pressed the switch, and a thick smoke began to fill the room. Virgil heard Janus coughing as the two of them ran through the unlocked door. The coast was clear, and they kept running through the house until they were hit by bright sunlight. On the main road, Virgil stopped them and wrapped his arms around Logan, and he felt a tight grip around his waist in response. It was almost too good to be true but, deep down, he knew that Logan would have saved him. He kissed his cheek gently before staring into Logan’s ocean eyes.

“Well, after everything I’ve put you through. I definitely owe you a date. Dinner? My treat?” Virgil smiled and nodded. They took each other’s hands and headed to a car that was parked nearby. As Logan drove, Virgil stared out of the window smiling softly.

Despite it all. He wouldn’t change anything for the world. He was the husband of a thief, a thief who stole his heart many years ago… and he always would be.

[anyarally]

Sanders Sides Secret Santa Gift!

@sanderssidesgiftxchange

For: @authorgirl0131  Wish 1: Intruloceit Christmas fluff Wish 2: Sympathetic Deceit whump Wish 3: Logan and Deceit Christmas fluff Ao3 (it’s formatted better on there lol)

Janus, Logan, and Remus Have the Best Christmas Ever

Janus is upset after SvS Redux, so Remus and Logan try to help. Plus Christmas fluff!

We are ethically compromised if we give him a seat at the table

Snake

Liar

Rude

Spiteful

Jealous

Evil 

Villain

The Light Sides’ words haunt Janus every night, only getting worse once Virgil leaves. The worst part is… he knows they’re not lying. Every insult, every implication, every rude remark, every single one was true. At least, to those who spoke them it was. 

He sits alone in his room every night, Remus usually coming to check on him. Tonight, though, is special. Janus just fought with all the Lights, and told them his name! It was one thing when Remus did it, he’s crazy and unpredictable! When Janus does it… it’s serious. 

Remus knocks aggressively on the ornate gold door, “Hey, ‘Anus?! You wanna hang out some? We could decapitate some of Roman’s dumb unicorns in the imagination, I sensed some trespassing earlier!”

Deceit startles on his bed, throwing back the covers (which he really shouldn’t be under this early in the evening) and mumbles just loud enough to hear, “Not tonight, Ree, I’m too tired.”

“Is it because of something they said again? I told them not to get to you, just because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re bad.”

“It doesn’t matter, Remus, just go take care of those unicorns. Maybe tomorrow we can hang out, ok?”

“Oh, um, ok. See you at dinner?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be up to it. Sorry.”

“Alright, let me know if you need anything?”

There was no response. Remus sighed, slumping away to his room. 

This went on for weeks. Every day, Janus would come out for breakfast, unhinge his jaw and eat enough for the day, even though he used to eat the same as Remus(in moderation, he refuses to eat eyeballs and pubic hair). Eventually, after about two and a half weeks, Remus had had enough.

When Janus slouched into the kitchen for his daily meal, Remus slammed his hand on the table, “You are coming with me to the imagination!”

“No, Remus. I’m too tired.”

“Nope, nuh-uh, none of that ‘tired’ bullshit, you’ve said that every day for the last month!”

“Re-”

“Nope nope nope! Come with me!” Remus yelled, grabbing Janus’s arm with an unsurprisingly terrifying grin on his face. 

Remus dragged Janus to the sickly stone mirror with green ooze globbing out that leads to the imagination, the snake complaining and protesting the whole way. 

Once they got there though, none of the things that usually made him happy worked. When Remus had him attack Roman’s unicorns, he only said he didn’t want to make their relationship with the Light Sides even worse. They visited Janus’s giant golden two-headed snake, Eilonwy and Ethelinda, and Janus couldn’t even look her in the eyes(either set of them!). Remus even tried having him watch live musicals by sneaking into Roman’s side of the imagination, but it only reminded him of the movie nights everyone but the Dark Si- now, just Janus were invited too. Remus had stopped going, but still.

After the day spent trying to cheer Janus up in the imagination had no success, Remus decided to bring in the big guns. 

The next day, Janus surprisingly didn’t get any visits from Remus. Just one text of a .gif that was weird as hell. 

The day after that, however, Janus heard three precise knocks at his door, at precisely 9:00 am. He yelled out, “Remus! Just stop already! I’m fine!” The only response was another precise three knocks at his door at 9:01 am. He only grunted and curled into his heated blanket more, assuming it’s just another one of Remus’s dumb pranks. 

After three knocks every minute on the minute for half an hour, Janus caved and opened the door, immediately protesting, “Remus, I swear to Thomas, I-” he stopped dead in his tracks when he looked up and saw who he was objecting to, “Logan?”

“Hello, De- Janus. Remus informed me he was concerned about you, so I have come to see,” Logan pulled out his notecards, “What is up?” 

Janus chuckled, pulling the door open wider, “Okay Logan, you can come in.” 

Janus puts his hat on as they walk inside, Logan looking around and noticing so much clutter. From what Remus had told him, Janus was a very organized person, almost obsessively so. Plus, the room wasn’t very warm at all, which cannot be good for someone cold-blooded. 

When Logan comments on this, Janus simply brushes him off, saying he hasn’t had the time to clean up and his usual heaters would be a fire hazard with the mess. 

They sit on some large extravagant armchairs in front of a fireplace, Logan favoring the black one with gold beading while Janus takes the deep yellow one with shiny black beading. 

As they sit down, Janus lights the fire with a wave of his hand, trying (and failing) to subtly change his outfit into a clean one from his closet. Logan notices, but decides not to comment. 

“So, what did Remus send you for again?”

“Well he didn’t exactly send me, per se, I reached out to him because I hadn’t seen you in a while, he said he would handle it, then he got me when that didn’t work.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, of course. I tried to bring it up to the other Light Sides, but they would not listen. Therefore, going to Remus, and consequently, you, was the best option.”

“Wow, uh, thanks, Logan, I really appreciate that. I assumed none of the Light Sides thought about how things would make us feel.”

“Granted, that is a fair assumption,” Logan quieted down, facing Janus’s bookshelves and silently reading the titles he has, mentally comparing it to books he’s read. 

Janus wanted to question Logan about that, but decided to try and get to the point gradually instead, saying, “Logan,” said Side looked up at Janus, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”

This made Logan pause and think. After about fifteen painfully silent seconds for Janus, Logan started speaking again, “I apologize, but I do not understand. What are you sorry for exactly?” 

“For, ya know, the last video.”

Logan stares at Janus.

Janus groans, “You’re really going to make me say it, huh? Okay, I’m sorry for taking your place earlier in the video.”

“Oh. Yes. That.” Logan stops, trying to formulate a response, “It is quite alright, Janus. While I was a bit hurt in the moment, I appreciate you figuratively beating some sense into the others.”

“Are you sure that you’re actually alright, though?”

“I… well, I do wish you had simply told me.” After Janus sends Logan a questioning look, Logan adds, “I know I would’ve been happy to step down and even let you disguise yourself as me, you didn’t need to knock me out. With those two, it’s very… difficult to get them to actually consider things, I know that first hand, so I entirely understand why disguising yourself as me was the most efficient way to get through to them.”

“Oh, I… I’m so sorry Logan, I hadn’t even considered that. I’m just used to expecting a no, I…”

“As stated before, it’s quite alright. Besides, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“What do you mean?”

Logan sighs, looking down at his shoes, “I should’ve spoken up sooner. About the Lights’ treatment of you, I mean. They were unnecessarily cruel to you, and I just stood by. I was… scared. I almost spoke up when Virgil hissed at you when you came to get your hat back from Roman, but I don’t know the whole story between you and Virgil, and I didn’t want to impose. Additionally, I…” Logan took a deep breath, doing a round of the 4, 7, 8 exercise Virgil taught them, “I was scared of being left out. I know I’ve said I don’t have feelings, but I was,” Logan chuckles, “deceitful, in that aspect.”

“Logan,” Janus seemed to be on the brink of tears of relief, “thank you so much. That means so much to me, I… hey, uh, would you want to come over for a movie night this Friday? I know movie nights with the Lights are on Saturdays, so…?”

“That sounds delightful,” Logan started to get up, “I will see you then. I apologize, but I must go. Thomas needs me at my best, I sense he’s about to start editing a new video.”

“No worries, Logan, I’ll see ya Friday.” 

And so, Logan came over that Friday, and the Friday after that. After weeks of being holed up in his room, Janus started to come out more often, and Remus was very happy to see more of him. Logan started coming over every Friday, and as time went on, he even started coming over more often just to enjoy Remus and Janus’s company. Sometimes, he would visit Remus’s side of the imagination with them, other times, he would exchange books with Janus and discuss them, and eventually, he would even start inviting Janus and Remus over to view the constellations with him as he explained them and showed them the stars with his telescope. 

This went on for months, and eventually, the Light Sides noticed. Whenever asked, though, Logan only stated he needed more time to himself. They laid off for a while, but eventually, it got a little suspicious, especially when they started hearing other voices coming from his room. 

Finally, Patton decided to investigate. He heard the voices in Logan’s room while getting him for famILY dinner, and leaned up against the door before knocking. 

“And here you’ll see MACS 2129-1, often referred to as the ‘Zombie Galaxy,” Logan happily explains.

“Oh fuck yes!” Remus yells, in turn causing a chuckle to emanate from Janus. 

Logan chuckles as well, “Fuck yes indeed, Remus,” Patton gasps almost involuntarily but stays quiet enough so no one notices, “This massive, disk-shaped galaxy spins twice as fast as the Milky Way does, but it's still not nearly as active. Hubble observations of the distant galaxy reveal that it hasn't made stars for approximately 10 billion years. MACS 2129-1 is what's known as a ‘dead galaxy,’ since stars no longer form there. Scientists believed that galaxies of this sort had formed by merging with smaller galaxies over time, but MACS 2129-1's stars didn't form from these sorts of explosive mergers; they formed early on, in the disk of the original galaxy. The findings suggest that dead galaxies somehow internally rearrange their structure as they age rather than changing shape because they combine with other galaxies. I, er, I’m sorry I’m babbling, aren’t I?”

Janus shushes Logan, “No, Logan, we’ve been over this,” Janus gently places his hand on Logan’s slowly reddening cheek, “We love to hear you talk, especially about things that make you happy. Isn’t that right, Remus?”

“Hell yeah, Lo! I love hearing you get so excited about stuff, and I love learning about the stars with you, you’re a great teacher!” 

By now, Patton had decided he didn’t want to intrude, he was proud of his kiddos. Logan, for reaching out and making more friends, and Janus and Remus for making Logan feel loved in a way that Patton just couldn’t seem to. He leaned back from the door and walked by, deciding to text Logan to let him know about dinner so he could come if he wanted but he didn’t have to cut his time with the Dark Sides short. 

Meanwhile, Logan looked down at his phone and sighed.

“What is it, Lo-Lo?” Remus tilted his head so far to the left his head broke off.

As Remus smacked his head back in place, Logan sighed, “Patton says dinner’s about to start. I really should go.”

“You don’t have to, Logan, you know that right?”

“Yes, I’m aware but I haven’t gone all week and I’m concerned the Lights will think I’m not eating at all. I wouldn’t want Patton to get… upset.”

“Okay, okay, we all remember when Patton went all Hop Pop.”

Logan looked at both of them again with a small, but genuine, smile, dropping it as he sank down to the Light Side’s dining room. 

Dinner was… awkward, to say the least. 

Patton tried to break the ice, “So, Logan, you’ve been spending a lot of time in your room?”

There was a long, long pause.

“Apologies, I now realize that was a question. I assumed it was a statement. Yes, I have been spending a lot of time in my room.”

“May we ask why?” Roman sarcastically asked.

“I find that I’m more productive when I stay in my room.”

“Well, I’ve heard some other voices coming from your room…” Patton hesitantly added. 

“What are you insinuating, Patton.” Logan harshly said, not asked, eyes harsh and cold.

“Well, I, uh-”

Virgil gently cut off Patton’s scrambling, “You know that we won’t be mad if you want to hang out with Remus and Janus, right?”

“Right!” Patton started, “We were actually talking about it some earlier, and we’d love to start having them over for famILY meals too!”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “Is Roman on board with this?”

Roman sighed, “I may have some issues with my brother, but a true prince wouldn’t stop other relationships from forming just because he didn’t like the other party. I know Remus, and he won’t hurt you,” he thought back to the shuriken, “well, not permanently at least.”

Logan smiled, the first genuine smile he had shown the Light Sides in months. “I can tell them.”

“Wait, Logan,” Logan looks back at Patton, “Christmas is this Friday, and well I can’t think of a better day to expand our famILY!”

Logan chuckled, “I’ll let them know,” he started to head back to his room but paused and turned to look back at the Lights, “Oh, and I’m staying with them on Christmas Eve. Apologies.”

“No problem, Logan! Thanks for letting us know!”

Once Logan got back to his room, he gave the Dark Sides the news. “Remus, Janus, I have some news.”

Remus popped up from where he was looking at his newest dagger under Logan’s covers, “Oooh? What is it, Wolverine?”

“Patton, and subsequently the other Light Sides, have invited you two and I to a famILY meal on Christmas,” Logan noticed how Janus and Remus’s eyes lit up but ignored it in favor of finishing his announcement, “I have informed them that I will be with you on Christmas Eve.”

Janus smiled, “That’s great! So, you told them about us?” Logan sat at his chess table with Janus, “Well, technically they guessed, but yes. They asked about me spending time in my room, then stated they did not disapprove of our… relationship, I suppose.”

Janus smiled, “That’s great, Lo.”

That Christmas Eve, the trio sat around the fireplace in the Dark Side’s living room. They cuddled together under a Big Hero 6 blanket while watching Die Hard, which they all of course agreed was the best Christmas movie. They had stayed up pretty late, and once the movie was over, Remus started excitedly jumping up and down, “It’s after midnight! It’s officially Christmas!”

Logan sleepily checked his watch, “You are correct, but I do not see how this is currently relevant?”

“Now I can give you guys my presents!”

Remus kept bouncing on the balls of his feet until Janus happily sighed, “Alright, what did you get us?”

Remus squealed, “I’ll show you!” while running to his room.

Janus and Logan chuckled together until Logan spoke up, “I, ahem, got you gifts as well. Would it be adequate for me to go get them?”

“Sure, I actually got some for you guys too. We’ll all go get them and meet back here.”

Logan smiled, nodded, and sank out.

When they all returned, they all had light blushes on their faces. “Who would like to go first? In handing out their presents, that is.” Logan awkwardly asked. 

“I do!” Remus excitedly shouted. Logan and Janus were very much not surprised, and they all sat down on the carpet in front of the couch. 

Once they were seated, Remus yeeted the presents at their recipients, both of which catching their present with ‘oof’s. 

Janus ripped his open to reveal a long black cape with golden lining. He was about to start thanking Remus for the warm fabric when the clasp on it caught his eye. He looked closer, seeing a beautiful silver clasp depicting a snake and eight tentacles wrapping around a unicorn. Not trapping it, it felt more like… hugging. Protecting. He flipped it over to see an engraving, ‘J.L.R.’ “Thank you, Remus! I especially like the clasp, and the warmth and style are both surprisingly practical!”

Logan respectfully undid the poorly done tape and placed the wrapping paper to the side, opening the box to see some soft black and white fabric. When he took it out of the box and unfolded it, he saw it was a new unicorn onesie, this one black with stars instead of white, with a rainbow horn, lining, and wrists. Logan started to tear up, holding it back when he addressed Remus, “Thank you, Remus, this is… perfect.” 

Despite how calmly it was stated, Janus and Remus both knew how much something had to mean to Logan for him to call it perfect.

Logan went next, getting Janus a new heated blanket with his yellow two-headed snake logo on it, which he loved. Next, he looked at Remus, “So, I did some research, and I got you something. But before I give it to you, I require confirmation that you will not use this on another side.”

“Ooo! Is it a torture device!?”

“Yes. But you cannot have it until you at least promise me that you will not use this on another side. You can use it on as many of yours or Roman’s unsuspecting imaginary townspeople as you wish, but not. A. Side.”

“Jeez, Wolverine, I promise, okay?! Now gimme.” Remus made grabby hands at Logan.

Logan reached behind his back and emerged with a metal dark grey and green pear-shaped object. He holds it out to Remus and he grabs it, “Remus, this is a Pear of Anguish. The first known account of one is in the 17th century, and it is operated as so,” Logan gently pulls the device back from Remus’s hands and twists the circle at the top, making it pop out into expanding segments, “This simple pear would be placed inside the orifice of a person and then gradually expanded. The kindest use was in a person’s mouth where it would ultimately shatter the skull, causing death. More gruesome is when it was used on parts in the lower half of the body which was rarely fatal, but excruciating.” 

Remus giggled at ‘lower half of the body’ “Thank you so much, Logan! I can’t wait to try this out, you’re the best!”

Janus went last, giving Remus a silver tentacle-themed ear cuff, which he enjoyed very much, putting it on right away. Next, he gave Logan a gigantic telescope with stars and math equations all over it, with Logan’s logo big on the side. Logan teared up at the thoughtfulness and hugged Janus tight.

The three ended up spending the whole night and day following snuggling together watching cheesy Christmas romcoms, and drinking hot chocolate. 

That evening, on the Light Side of the mindscape, the Lights once again did a Secret Santa. Sadly, Janus and Remus weren’t included since their attendance was decided so late, but Patton made sure to get them each something.

Logan got Roman this year, so he got him a journal full of prompts in which he could write, draw, or brainstorm. Patton got Logan, and he made him a bunch of cupcakes with the Logan’s Berry Crofters Jam, which Logan was eternally thankful for. Roman got Virgil, and he got him a grey weighted blanket which he altered by sewing on purple plaid patches with white thread to match the emo’s hoodie. Virgil was thankful he got Patton, getting him a better gift than before by hand sewing small toys of all of them, sheepishly adding he’d make Remus and Janus too “I guess.” Patton got Remus a stuffed animal of a green octopus with a mustache and he got Janus a stuffed animal of a yellow snake with a bowler hat that had a small heater inside.

Everyone loved their gifts and had a great time, but Logan couldn’t decide what his favorite part of that Christmas was; unwrapping presents with the Dark Sides at midnight or eating Crofters-filled cupcakes with them late Christmas night when all the Light Sides had gone to bed.

[cotncandyboifics]

The Bidding of the Prince Twins: Chapter 2

AO3 Link

Masterpost

Chapter 1 ~

Pairings: (vague/qpr) Loceit, eventual Analoceit

Word count: 2,961

Story summary: Virgil finds himself being held hostage in an unknown location. His two suspected captors seem to care for him more than any strangers should, especially strangers who kidnapped him. But were they really the ones who kidnapped him? That aside, Virgil also can't shake the feeling that there's something familiar about them. He just can't pin-point what it is. As time passes, the layers of lies the three of them are caught in are gradually peeled away, one by one.

General CW: U!Roman, U!Remus, food, kidnapping, implied Stockholm Syndrome, moderate to severe amnesia, swearing, sexual innuendos, graphic descriptions of gore/violence/scarring, minor character d-aths, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, non-graphic descriptions of needles, graphic and non-graphic descriptions of physical pain, (will be added to as I write more)

Chapter CW: Unsympathetic!Roman, Unsympathetic!Remus, food, moderate amnesia, kidnapping hostage, swearing, non-graphic descriptions of physical pain, (let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author Notes: <none>

...

Virgil woke up to an abundance of soft fabric surrounding him. He was groggy as all hell, and immediately felt a small ache coming from his left outer thigh. He grunted to himself as he tried to shift around - turns out his whole body was sore and aching to the bone. He managed to flop himself onto his back, only entangling himself deeper in the lush fabric that was practically engulfing him.

As he felt around him, he came to the ingenious conclusion that he was in a very soft bed. Likely a double, since he had more room to sprawl out than he usually did at home in his twin. He finally decided to try at opening his eyes.

He shied away from the light as he had before, but this time it was far less intense and concentrated on him. In fact, it seemed to be dim and gentle for the express purpose of providing a more docile mood than last time. He was able to turn his head in a wobbling jolt, and found that the only active source of light in the room was a yellow-bulbed lamp that sat cozily on the bedside table to his left.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Virgil recognized J's voice from across the room. He tried to sit up, and was somehow successful in his semi-panicked state, but set his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut as his head pounded in response to his unwanted movement. He cursed under his breath. "I see you slept well," J's voice was as snarky as ever.

When Virgil got his bearings enough to open his eyes, he looked around the room, trying not to move his head too much.

There wasn't much in the room. On the opposite wall was a very large mirror set into the wall - not a very discrete false mirror, Virgil mused to himself. Set in the top corners of the mirror were two rectangular black boxes that appeared to be small speakers. A nice carpet beneath his bed stretched half the length of the room, which then gave way to cement. A metal chair welded to the floor just above a drain was in the middle of the far side, beyond the carpet. In the far right corner, an opaque glass door with a metal frame, and Virgil could see the glint of tiles beneath the raised bottom of the door. On the far side of the left wall, there was a heavy-looking metal door that was bolted shut, with one small window at head height and one at the floor. Just beyond the door, in a fold-out metal chair, sat who Virgil assumed to be J.

He was sitting with his legs crossed, hands folded over one knee. He eyed Virgil from behind light-brown golden bangs that curled around and over the brim of his black bowler hat. Virgil couldn't make out his face well from where he was, but he could see that, while one of his eyes was a deep chocolate brown, the other was a nearly pale-white, and a very long and jagged scar ran vertically up through his eye from the edge of his jawline, along with a few other scars on that same right side of his face that ran across his cheek or down his neck and below his collar.

J stood swiftly, and started stepping toward Virgil cautiously. Virgil scowled, considering hissing at him or trying to get away, but his physical state combined with a strange gentleness he detected in the man's eyes kept him quiet and planted in place.

Janus sat on the edge of the bed, never taking his eyes off Virgil, who quietly gulped at the other man's closeness. "Virgil," J addressed after a momentary staring contest. "Will you answer me something?" J's voice was sweet and silky again, but this time it felt far less forced to Virgil somehow.

"Depends on what it is," he narrowed his eyes at J slightly. J only smirked at that, but any expected condescending tone had dissipated before he spoke again.

J leaned closer to Virgil, searching his eyes, before continuing. "Tell me. Do you recognize me in any way?"

That was certainly not what Virgil had been expecting. He scoffed. "y'know, I think I would remember meeting someone with-" He cut himself off, and J didn't miss how his pupils dilated slightly. "hmm," he hummed after a moment of searching J's face almost feverishly.

"...no?" It almost sounded as though some sort of hope J had been holding onto was dissipated, dissolving into oblivion with that single small word.

"I thought... no. No, I don't." Virgil's tone was unsure as he continued to search J's features like a blind mouse surrounded by the scent of cheese. J pursed his lips and sighed in defeat, looking away.

"That's good, I suppose," J mused, seemingly to himself. Virgil was growing more confused by the second. He knew there was something familiar about this man, but that feeling he was chasing the tail end of seemed to be detached from any memories he may have had of seeing him before. Eventually Virgil gave up, looking down at his lap.

"I thought L said you guys were only coming in together," Virgil's voice came out much smaller than he wanted it to. J opened his mouth to reply, but a sudden static noise shot through Virgil's ears and it felt as though it was scraping the inside of his skull. The sound was gone sooner than it began, before Virgil could cover his ears, and L's voice came through from the two speakers set in the frame of the false mirror, distorted and somewhat spooky.

"Hello Virgil. I am watching through this false mirror. At this time, only J can reveal his physical appearance to you, as it is less likely to jeopardize our assignment." J groaned, throwing his head back, and Virgil wondered if it bothered him that L kept calling it (whatever "it" was) an assignment. "However, you will be... meeting me, face to face, very soon. For now, J and I assumed you'd be more comfortable with a softly lit room, as opposed to pitch darkness." With that, the static sound returned for a moment, and was followed by silence. Virgil trained his eyes on the false mirror, wondering where exactly L was behind it. He scoffed yet again.

"What do you two care if I'm comfortable?" He hissed, glaring from the mirror to J, who was still sitting beside him. He considered his words for a moment, letting his angry expression fall away. He looked from the soft bed to the dim lamp, and realized that J and L clearly did want him to be at least somewhat comfortable.

"This is not meant to be a torturous experience." J's near whisper of a statement coalesced with Virgil's train of thought. he stared forward blankly, and Virgil quietly waited in his surprise to see if he would explain further. "We don't have a choice in this, as much as you don't. We-"

"J, I think that's enough for now," L's voice came through the speakers again, and J's eyes widened as he turned part way to face the mirror.

"Yes, perhaps you are right." Virgil hadn't expected that. Then again, he hadn't expected to get kidnapped by two strangely familiar men that he seemed to be developing some sick and twisted attraction for, despite how he had despised the concept of Stockholm Syndrome his whole life.

J seemed lost in thought, not moving for a long moment. Then he stood, glancing at Virgil with an unbridled sadness, before pacing to the large metal door, undoing the mechanical locks with a very long string of numbers entered into a keypad. There was a buzzing and the door shuddered open, and Janus slipped through quickly before pushing it shut hastily from the other side. The door immediately relocked itself when it was shut.

Virgil almost laughed at the half-assed security that was just displayed, but remembered he could scarcely move his legs, let alone stand or walk. He flopped backward on the bed.

After a short moment alone, there was a sound of scraping metal, though much smaller and more high-pitched than that of the door opening. A small tray of food slid through the opening at the base of the door. Virgil shifted in the bed to try to get up, but quickly gave in again to the aching soreness that was racking his body. He'd get the food later.

...

"Janus, what the hell was that?" Logan hissed through clenched teeth as Janus opened the door to their observation room. He slowly stepped over to the chair nearest to the door and dropped defeatedly into it, staring blankly forward at nothing in particular. A single heavy tear rolled down his cheek from his unblinded eye. Logan sighed frustratedly from the chair beside him in an almost-growl. "We cannot risk allowing our emotions to interfere with-"

"Oh can't we, Logan?" Janus fumed, whipping his head around to stare Logan down. "I could have said the same god damn thing to you yesterday. The way you spoke to him did so little to disguise your empathy for him that I nearly slapped you across the face then and there." Logan breathed a scoff after a moment, mostly amazed that he was being told off by Janus- the two had been in (objectively) much more strenuous situations together in the past, and never, never had Janus actually snapped at him. "I'm sorry having to interrogate him was your breaking point, but having your life-long friend look you in the face and tell you he doesn't recognize you is- is mine."

Logan waited a few beats of silence, trying to discipline the brash tone of his voice into something more manageable and clinical. "Janus. We knew this would happen. The amnesia is a direct side effect of the required doses. Assuming everything is working according to plan, he will not recognize me either when I see him tomorrow."

Janus' jaw was set, and he bit his cheek so hard he tasted blood. "Easier said than experienced, Jackson." Logan cringed at the use of his last name. "See how it makes you feel when he's got those eyes trained on you without a single trace of recognition."

With that, Janus stood, tromping away and gone with a slam of the door.

Logan stared unfocused in the general direction of where Janus had been, pursing his lips in thought. After long enough of that, he turned his attention back to the laptop before him, deciding it would be best to just get back to work.

...

The rest of Virgil's day was extremely uneventful and boring. He gradually mustered the strength to go eat, sitting cross-legged with his back against the wall as he picked at buttered mashed potatoes and some kind of flavorless meat. He took his time, not hungry enough to finish it quickly but bored enough to keep working at the meal. Eventually he was down to just crumbs and little smeared spots of mash. Still, he finished it all, cleaning the entire tray of any organic substance. Although then, he found himself having to search for a new source of entertainment.

He looked around for a while, from where he was sitting on the floor beside the heavy metal door. He noticed some white stuff sticking to certain parts of the metal chair welded to the floor, and assumed they were remnants of the duct tape from his interrogation session yesterday, or whenever that had happened.

From there he started spiraling about how long he'd been in "solitary confinement" as he'd dubbed it, but quickly tried to avert his attention; he knew panicking about something he very clearly could do nothing about would just make things harder for himself. He took a few slow deep breaths.

Opening his eyes again, he searched the room more thoroughly. There were a few visible dust bunnies under the bed, but the exposed carpet looked freshly vacuumed. The lampshade was positively covered in dust. There was a single caged lightbulb that looked very heavy-duty set in the very center of the ceiling, but it looked burnt out. On the other side of the door beside him, Virgil could see the outline of the edge of a light switch that must have been removed. In the far corner of the room, on the opposite side of his bed, a single long crack ran crookedly up the cement wall, just shy of touching the ceiling.

He looked to the glass door in the furthest corner of the room, watching as the tiles visible on the floor past it gleamed. Wait.

If the tiles were reflecting some sort of light- did that mean there was a window?

Virgil scrambled to his feet, dropping the food tray with a few loud clacks on the floor. He winced at the sound, but maintained his attention as he beelined for the door. He yanked it open a little too hard, and felt his shoulder ache slightly.

It was a small box of a room. There was a toilet, sink and shower all lined up uncomfortably close to each other on the wall Virgil faced. There were two cups on the sink, one on either side of the faucet; both looked well-cleaned, and one had a brand-new toothbrush resting in it along with a small tube of toothpaste. Above the sink there were indentations in the wall, as though there'd been a mirror there at one point that got taken down. The shower was really just a showerhead hanging from the ceiling directly above a small circular drain that the tile pattern dipped slightly at. There were two twist knobs on the wall above said drain, one marked with a red H and the other a mostly scratched off blue C. A small white soap bar sat on a little porcelain protrusion in the wall beside the knobs. And of course...

No window. There was just a vent with a cage drilled to the wall surrounding it set high in the corner of one wall, and a single industrial-looking light in the center of the ceiling that looked identical to the one in the main room. Virgil sighed, rubbing his temples.

He didn't know what else to do, and figured this was the only way to get certain privacy. So he pulled his shirt off lazily, shoving his pants and underwear off. He turned to see himself in the mirror, only to be immediately reminded that the only mirror was in fact just an observation tool. He wouldn't be able to really look at himself without feeling his guts whirl unpleasantly until he could get out.

If he ever did.

He twisted the cold nob around once, and didn't touch the hot. The pipes in the wall shook audibly for a moment, and then a surprisingly steady water pressure spilt over his hair and back. The water was cold, as promised, and Virgil fought a shiver as he felt his skin erupt in goosebumps.

After a moment of enjoying the coolness against his previously quite hot skin, he realized that a cold shower would likely hurt more than help his muscle situation. He groaned to himself and turned the hot knob around two and a half times.

The water changed surprisingly quickly, but not suddenly. Virgil adjusted to the gentle heat, relishing the steam that surrounded him and made it easy to keep his dark thoughts from taking over.

...

Remus Prince sat impatiently, leaning forward in the drivers seat to stare down the stoplight above threateningly. He thrummed his fingers on the steering wheel to keep himself from slapping his obnoxious, dramatic excuse for a brother in the passenger seat across the face.

"Yes hello, I'd like an iced Venti Chai Latte with - excuse me, ma'am, are you going- excuse me, will you allow me to finish my sentence?" Roman had always been disrespectful toward service workers, and it had always irked Remus. Though, he knew yelling at his brother now would only make it worse for the employee.

Finally the light changed, and Remus stepped on the gas slightly too fast, jerking Roman forward. He made offended noises as he continued conferring with the Starbucks employee on the other end of the line.

"Yes. Precisely. Thank you." His tone suggested he was anything but thankful, and Remus growled vaguely at him. Roman just side-winked at him, with his stupid smile on full display. "Yes, that'll be for Roman Prince."

Remus couldn't hear very well what the person on the other line had been saying before, but this time he did hear a "...is this a prank call?" after a beat of silence. Roman smirked to himself.

"No, my dear, it is indeed not." With that, Roman hung up.

As Roman set his phone down, Remus' received a notification and lit up. He grunted, non-verbally asking his brother to check it. Roman grabbed the phone lazily, and Remus saw his brother's smirk widen into a sick grin out the corner of his eye. Remus grinned at the road ahead, teeth slightly too sharp to be human sticking out grotesquely in a few too many directions.

"Shall we see how our boys are doing?" Roman connected his brother's phone to the car speaker system, pressing play on the audio file they'd been sent.

There was a slight static fuzz, before a voice could be heard. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." The twins both immediately huffed a laugh as they recognized Janus' voice coming through the car speakers.

"I see you slept well."

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Hypothetically,

Ao3,   MasterPost

Relationships: Romantic Intrulogical, Platonic Logince

It is about! Damn! Time! That I wrote some Intrulogical! Also, y’all already know my stance on platonic logince,,,, guys they ARE best friends i’m sorry I don’t make the rules.

Warnings: Angst (with a happy ending). mentions of stuff like autopsies and nuclear explosions in the context of like experiments- they do stuff in The Imagination, basically. Panic attack (?). Hurt/comfort. Pretty heated kissing; It’s more intense makin’ out than I usually write but it isn’t anything explicit at all, don’t worry! ADHD Remus and Autistic Logan. Cursing- like So Much Cursing. Mentions of space, deep sea, etc. Food mention.

Word count: 6,769

There was a conundrum. 

A., Logan needed to use the Imagination. B., He could not use it on his own, considering that he was Logic. C., Roman was nowhere to be found. The answer to what was frustrating Logan at that moment would be all of the above.

To be clear, he didn’t like going into the Imagination. It was simply the only suitable place to perform his ‘experiments’. His very necessary, very distracting experiments. But, as stated, Roman was God-knows-where doing God-knows-what. 

Logan sighed at the door, as though it was the inanimate structure’s fault. The cracks gleamed obnoxiously bright, golden light pouring out from behind the door in a somewhat eerie manner. It was a nonsensical, unrealistic, completely insignificant place, and he wanted in.

Logan was contemplating asking Janus for help (lies took imagination, right?) when, out of nowhere, an arm was thrown around his shoulders. Literally an arm, disembodied and oozing sick-smelling blood onto the carpet. Ah. Wonderful. 

“Hello, Remus,” he pulled the appendage from around him, holding it at arm’s length (no pun intended, dammit). 

“Hi!” Remus took his arm back and reattached it with a disturbing crunch, a grin stretching his face. He sidled up to Logan, imitating the side’s stance in front of the door. 

“Can I help you with something?” the logical trait tilted his shoulder away from where Remus had pressed against him. 

“Not unless you’re willing to get really messy- but I can help you!”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re implying.”

The Duke rolled his eyes, promptly flinging the door to The Imagination open. An encompassing energy radiated into the common room, corrupting the usual neutrality of the space. It didn't last long before Remus grabbed Logan’s wrist and dragged him along through the entryway, movements as sporadic and fast-paced as everything else about the creative.

“It’s not very logical to just stand there staring at the door all day, in my opinion. I dunno what you need Imagination for, but whatever it is, I can help! My half is much more interesting, anyway.”

“Oh,” Logan blinked, narrowly ducking his head under a branch as he was pulled forward, “Thank you, I suppose.”

He politely didn’t mention that he doubted Remus’ capacity for helpfulness. Beggars can’t be choosers, after all. 

The door from the commons was quite a walk from the darker half of The Imagination, but at the pace its owner had them going they were there in minutes. The border was marked with tangles of densely thorned shrubbery, which parted for them, as if they sensed the approach. Logan just barely avoided snagging his shoe on one as they passed.

There was forest, twisted and shadowy, for only a minute. After that, they were in a city, with tall buildings and winding streets and dark alleys. Another switch, they came into what seemed like an amusement park. Nothing was consistent in theme, and none of the scenes held up for more than a minute or two. Remus shook his head and tisked. With a snap, a good portion of the ever-changing scenery was erased, leaving blank white space. The Duke turned to look at Logan with a satisfied smile. 

“Ta-da! What do you need?” 

Logan blanched for a moment, surprised at Remus’ willingness to completely delete Imaginings without a second thought. It usually took Roman ages to find a spot that he was okay with giving up on for Logan’s “projects”- which he always had thought was a little silly, seeing as he could bring it back when they were done. The change of pace was a pleasant one, though, so there was no need to dawdle for long. 

“I need a miniature fully-functioning model of our solar system. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Oh, totally,” Remus waved his hand and the request appeared suspended in the air, spread out to be the size of a dining table. All was accounted for- sun, moons, eight planets plus pluto- orbiting and spinning around each other. Imagination, by nature, had no real limits, but the detail was still a sight to behold every time. Logic smiled, surveying the set-up, before gesturing to the edge of their blank section.

“Thank you for the help, you may go.”

“May I now?” Remus conjured a seat for himself, staring at Logan with his chin resting on his hands, “You’re not even going to tell me what this is for? That’s just rude.”

Logan glanced up from the tiny earth he was inspecting, tilting his head to the side in confusion.

“You are welcome to stay, if you wish, but your brother usually leaves at this point. He says my experiments are-” he summons his notebook, “‘Bore-ifying’, which I assume is a portmanteau for ‘boring’ and ‘horrifying’.” 

“Roman’s a big baby!”

Logan shrugged, not disagreeing, and resumed his careful observation of the tiny model earth. Remus made no move to go, wheeling his chair even closer. The scientific side carried on before his new audience of one, hovering a hand over the little planet. Abruptly, it stopped spinning. Logan made a gesture with his hand that magnified the model significantly. 

The results were immediately catastrophic. Logan jotted a few observations down in his notebook, watching closely at the ways torrents of wind ripped up trees and buildings. In the back of his mind, he was faintly impressed by just how well-rendered ‘Dark’ Creativity’s earth was, down to the individual humans, brutalized by the storms. 

“Whoah, what the fuck?!” 

Logan looked up briefly to see Remus craning his head over the destruction of the stilled planet. His eyes were wide and bright with curiosity.

“Oh- I should probably explain. I come here, usually, to run some improbable scenarios as a sort of stress-reliever. Specifically, this one is what would happen if earth stopped spinning on its axis. As you can see, due to the earth no longer rotating at its usual speed, the wind would continue on at-” he cut himself off abruptly, sensing the beginnings of a ramble, “I’m sorry, I’ve been told that I have a tendency to ‘go off’ when a subject particularly interests me.”

Remus rolled his chair even closer, looking much like an excited animal (more so than usual, anyway).

“Well then, go off! Don’t leave me hanging! Is that really what would happen, just if it stopped?” He gestured enthusiastically to the way that the oceans had begun to crash against and consume shorelines. He looked interested- genuinely interested. 

Logan bit back a smile. He didn’t have to be told twice. 

 It was one of those particularly restless nights. For no foreseeable goddamn reason, Logic’s mind had become alight with enough half-formed thoughts and barely sensible ideas to fill a very, very weird book. The Imagination did wonders when he got like this, but it usually wasn’t two in the morning when he needed to use it. That wasn’t to say the circumstance was unheard of, but all times prior he could push the urge to investigate away with the reasoning that he could just ask Roman in the morning, and that the Creative side needed his ‘beauty sleep’, as he called it. There wasn’t anything he could do about that, was there?

Tonight was different. Logan could hear the occasional snap or tear or cackle from the room across from his. Remus’ room. 

It had been less than a week since The Duke let him use the darker half of the Mindpalace, and that was pretty much the only meaningful interaction they’d had in as many days. They weren’t close, Logan wasn’t even sure if they were friends (not that he was a good judge of that, given the first time Roman referred to them as ‘besties’ he had all but cried), but Remus was at the very least an option. He was also unlikely to mind, given that he was already awake and had exhibited excitement previously. 

Logan made up his mind after yet again failing to fall asleep. Quietly, he opened his door and took the few short steps across the hall, raising his fist. Remus’ door was open before his second knock. 

“Oh, hey! What are you doing, coming knocking at this hour?” he didn’t even try to whisper, accompanying his statement with an over-exaggerated wink. Logan didn’t waste his time trying to shush the side. 

“Good evening, I hope I’m not interrupting anything-”

“You know I don’t mind your ‘interruptions’, Twunk-y Megamind!”

“-But I was wondering if you would… Help me, again. I seem to be having a hard time getting to sleep, and I think that getting out some of my ideas could help.”

Remus’ face lit up dramatically. 

“Oh hell yes! Are we gonna blow up more planets?”

“Something like that,” he kept his voice monotone, disguising the relief and hint of pride at such a positive reaction. 

“Well, come on!”

Logan let himself be dragged into Remus’ room, barely having time to make note of the surprisingly organized layout before he was pulled through a sleek black door. 

“But you have to tell me about it,” he ordered, twisting them through narrow paths in his half of The Imagination. Logan suppressed a smile. 

“If you want to hear it, then I’m happy to.” 

Without warning, they stopped the breakneck pace that Remus moved at. The trait seemed appeased with their surroundings, though as far as Logan could tell it was just another piece of ever-shifting ominous landscape. 

Remus snapped his fingers. The scene remained intact. 

“Sorry,” he glanced around nervously, “Things get stuck in my head sometimes. Can’t get ‘em out. I’ll get it, I just-”

“It’s no trouble.” 

Logan rolled up his sleeves. He didn’t like using his ‘abilities’ much, as every side had some set of special skills, and all of them were much too ostentatious. But they were helpful, at times. He waved a hand, gesturing carefully so that he didn’t dismantle any more of The Imagination than was absolutely necessary. With a small stutter, the landscape shifted to a blank slate.

When he looked back up, Remus’ expression was not unlike that of a Cheshire cat.

“What was that?”

“I am Logic, therefore it follows that I am the antithesis to any Imagination creations. It’s very easy to erase them with just a bit of rationality.” 

“No clue what a lot of those words meant, but it’s still cool that you can destroy shit.”

Laughing was unbecoming, to say the least, and so the logical trait tended to avoid it at all costs. The snort that escaped him was entirely involuntary. 

If Remus noticed the noise, he said nothing about it. He was too busy bouncing from foot to foot, expectantly waiting for instructions. Logan cleared his throat of the outburst and clapped his hands together.

“Alright, let’s start with something simple…”

 At his request, Remus would construct immaculately detailed creatures, settings, and models, watching gleefully at the ordeals Logan put each one through. They tested various and progressively elaborate ways to sink populated cruise liners, they simulated the effects of falling from the Empire State Building, dissected approximations of obscure marine animals (a shared special interest of theirs, apparently), and any of the other unrealistic questions that occurred to the typically rational Logic. 

The only way to get such questions from his mind, he’d found out a long time ago, was deconstructing them one step at a time, to see them in their full ridiculousness. 

It was also, he was coming to realize, incredibly fun. 

Before the two knew it, the already late hour had turned unreasonable. Logan blinked owlishly at his watch, distracted from the tiny supernova that he’d created.

“Oh, I must have lost track of time,” four in the morning. Four in the morning! 

“Aw, does that mean we’re done?” Remus whined, yet he still began unmaking his small star system. 

Logan was suddenly very aware of the heaviness of his eyelids and a rubbery feeling in his limbs. God, was he tired. 

“I’m afraid so. I really should’ve gone to sleep hours ago.”

“Fine,” Remus dragged the word out with a groan, “But let me know next time you wanna fuck with space, or deep sea stuff, or anything like that.”

Next time. 

As much as Logan adored Roman, there was something very nice about having the more grim brother help him out with these experiments. For one, his creations were often much more accurate to the real world- likely because gore and destruction were that much more impactful when they were realistic. For two, he actually seemed to enjoy the work. 

Logan’s deliberation was brief. 

“I will.”

 As it happened, the night spent delving into dozens of ideas had purged Logan’s need to use The Imagination, for the time being. Clearly, Remus was not patient enough to wait for him.

He popped up, unannounced, in Logic’s room.

“Lo!!!”

The trait in question fell out of his office chair in a very undignified way. Not that there’s a particularly dignified way to fall out of a chair, but if there was, this definitely wouldn’t have been it. He ‘ate shit’, as the saying goes.

Out of pure embarrassment, Logan made no move to get off the floor.

“Hello, Remus,” he greeted, “How may I help you?”

The Duke laughed raucously, sprawling into the now-unoccupied chair and leaning over him. 

“You’re a riot, Dork,” then, added with glittering eyes, “Did you break anything?”

“No. Given that I am metaphysical, I’m not sure that I have bones.”

“I have bones!”

“Are they your bones?”

“They are bones and they are in my possession, yes.” 

Logan let the subject drop and repeated his first question. 

“Right, I forgot! I have an idea for an experiment!”

Logan thought that, despite his mild humiliation, it would probably benefit the conversation if he wasn’t lying on the ground, so he stopped doing that. Brushing mostly imaginary dust from his clothes, he shot Remus a bemused look.

“That’s nice. But I was asking you why you were here.”

The Duke’s face fell, almost imperceptibly.  

“I thought you’d wanna know, because of what you said last time. Isn’t this, like, a thing we do now? You know how shit works, and I know how to make that shit, and then you can tell me about it!” 

Oh. 

“Remember when you were talking about radiation the other day? You can’t just say stuff like that and then not expect me to want to try it out, so really this is on you. It’d be dumb not to let you in on it.”

Oh. 

He’d been listening to that rant? Moreover, he’d remembered it, and now had his own ideas and follow-up questions about it? 

Logan felt light-headed. 

“You’re probably too busy with work, huh? I guess my explosions don't have to be accurate, if you’re set on being boring,” Remus’ tone was nonchalant, but he was obviously lingering for attention. Logan then remembered that words are a thing, and people use them to communicate.

“No! I mean, yes- I mean, I’m not busy. I can join you, I- I’d like to, even,” the intelligent side heard a small voice in his head, his own miniature Virgil, screaming- what the fuck was that, get it together, Jesus, because he, despite what his fellow sides insisted, was absolutely nonfunctional when trying to form a friendship. 

Remus didn’t seem to notice or care much past his own cheer.

“Cool!” he, yet again, wasted no time in seizing Logan’s arm and yanking him away, “I wanted to see what would happen to animals and plants and stuff bunches of years after lots of radiation! Do you think they’d mutate? Get all twisted and fucked up so that they aren’t even recognizable as, say, a dog?”

Logan considered the question as he was led through the Mindpalace.

“Well, nothing would be able to live there at all. Additionally, anything within a little under a mile of the nuclear fallout- depending on a few variables- would be completely incinerated upon impact.”

“Like, flesh-melting incinerated?” 

“More like vaporized. The fireball would burn 10,000 times the heat of the sun.”

Remus went starry eyed, bringing them to a halt a mere five feet from the door. 

“I wanna see that,” he waved his hands around at their surroundings, “Can you do the white-out thing?” 

Logan, much less hesitant than last time, obliged. A small smile escaped him at the wondrous look on The Duke’s face. It was another form of expression he didn’t particularly care for, but containing his emoting was more trouble than it was worth by now. He couldn’t find it in him to care much either, for once. 

“Where do we start?” Remus prompted.

“You tell me. I will help you make it as accurate as possible, and provide any insight that you want, but it is your idea,” and he wanted to hear more about those ideas. Odd and violent, mesmerizing and clever. There was so much that he wanted to hear about, to talk about, to puzzle out together. 

Logan couldn’t remember the last time he’d had someone to share such interests with. Maybe, despite how deeply he cared for his ‘family’, as Patton called them- maybe it was never.

Remus chattered as he worked, disrupting the train of thought. Logan almost tuned it out- after all, everyone had grown perfectly used to The Duke’s rambling- but he caught himself. That was hardly how he should treat the side that was so strangely considerate to him, wasn’t it? 

Logan listened from then on. He began to add on to the conversation, corrections and elaborations and actual questions, because he actually didn’t know some of it. He didn’t regret the choice. 

By the end, Remus and Logan were sitting together in the smoldering ruins of their make-believe test town, exchanging notes for different variables they could use in the next trial. They only stopped when Logan was abruptly summoned away by Thomas. He excused himself, a bit apologetic, promising to visit again soon.

As he helped Thomas (with what really should have been a simple task, honestly), Logic wondered briefly about the origins of the hollow feeling that grew in his chest. Something distracted, longing, and unfamiliar. 

And then the oven caught fire, and the only thing he felt was annoyance with the man that he was somehow a component of. 

 So, that was that- Logan and Remus were friends, now spent regular time together, and shared interests. By all accounts, it was a simple and obviously positive development. 

But then there was Roman. 

“What’s wrong with my work? You’d really prefer whatever edgy 12-year-old DeviantArt account nonsense that he thinks up?”

Logan set his book down with a sigh and looked over to his doorway, where Roman stood with his hands on his hips.

“Come in, Roman, and thank you for knocking,” he snarked. The Creative side made a vaguely sassy noise, trotting right in and flopping backwards onto the bed. Without closing the door, the monster.

“I thought that building your Weird Science contraptions was our thing.”

Logan made a show of standing up and manually shutting his door before responding. 

“You don’t like my ‘contraptions’, as you call them.”

“Yeah, but I still made them for you! Because we’re friends, but I suppose you’ve forgotten all about that!” 

He really should have expected the melodrama. And yet, Logan had lived in a delusional world where he didn’t care about the most Extra being on earth.

With an eye roll, Logic dropped down beside Roman on the bed- though he wasn’t half as flamboyant about it. 

“I can have more than one friend.”

“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be your favorite! We’re supposed to hang out together! Do the friendship bracelets I made mean nothing to you?”

He flung his arm across Logan’s chest, a ‘friendship bracelet’ clearly visible on his wrist (a loose usage of the term, given that it was a solid gold band with inlaid sapphires, because of course it was).

Logan held up his arm as well, showing that his (silver with inlaid rubies) was still very much in use, despite his distaste for jewelry.

“We hang out plenty. It wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings by spending time with your brother. My reason for doing so is that he seems to take active enjoyment in building and learning about these things with me. He also makes very good conversation, in regards to the more, ah, eccentric experiments.”

Roman tossed his head to the side to watch Logan with narrowed eyes. After a pause, he linked their arms at the elbow. 

“Yeah, you would think that. You’re secretly just as much of a weirdo as him.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Oh please, I can barely keep up with a word that either of you say,” Roman headbutted Logan’s shoulder in what was likely another of his odd displays of affection. He let his head rest there for a minute, a rare instance of peace before he inevitably resumed talking. 

“Anyways-”

“Anyway,” Logan corrected.

“Anyways, if you nerds wanna talk about your weird, creepy experiments, then I guess that’s fine. But he isn’t allowed to co-opt anything else that we do together that we both actually like- no making fun of movies together, no Crofters jams, and no poetry-slash-rap battles.”

“Of course not, Roman. You will always be my favorite person to disagree with.”

“Love you, too,” Creativity bumped him again, then sat up to stretch. Logan snorted a laugh and considered shoving Roman off the bed, watching as he raised his arms up and straightened his back. Before the trait had the chance, unfortunately, his friend was already standing. 

“Leaving already? Weren’t you just going on about spending time together?”

“Nah, that was all I wanted to yell at you about for now. I’ve gotta go help Pat with dinner.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you.”

“Thanks, I won’t.”

“I hate you.”

“Ditto.”

Halfway out the door, Roman threw a glance over his shoulder.

“Oh, and whatever you two end up doing, do not give me the details. Please.”

Okay, finally, that really was that. Friendship established, blessings given, the end. A simple symbiosis.

Logan was thinking about the practical uses of medieval torture devices? Remus. He wanted to see exactly how long it would take your average healthy adult to succumb to drowning? Remus. Logan wanted to just rant, about anything and everything, his brain moving a mile a minute? Remus. They spent an inordinate amount of time together. 

Occasionally, when he didn’t even have the energy to converse, he would sit down with a book in the commons when he knew Remus was there and let the trait’s never ending word-vomit wash over him. It was an odd sort of intimacy, but that fit within the theme of their dynamic. Like he said, simple symbiosis. 

And that was when the not-very-platonic fondness grew. And Logan, to his own surprise, allowed it to. 

After deep consideration he had seen no reason not to; Remus wouldn’t judge him, not ever. It put a name to the hollow longing that occurred whenever he, eventually, had to get back to work and part from their talks. 

He hadn’t sorted out what to do about the feeling yet, but he felt no urgency. 

Logan’s book lay forgotten in his lap, that morning being one of the quiet ones as he reflected on his unfamiliar emotions. It was almost nice, letting such affection curl up in his chest and settle there.

His contemplation was broken by a sharp jab to his shoulder.

“Are you listening to me?”

He tilted his head at Remus.

“Sorry, I got distracted.”

“What were you thinking about?” his eyes lit up, very obviously hoping for it to be something disgusting. Logan glanced away, given that he didn’t even like eye-contact in the best of circumstances. 

“Nothing important. You have my attention now.”

Remus rolled his eyes with a huff, apparently genuinely irritated. 

“Well now I forgot what I was saying.”

“Let’s backtrack: what were you talking about before?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s fine, we can talk about something else.”

The irritation had grown to something unrecognizable to Logan- frustrating, given how closely he tried to study body language. He felt a stab of guilt as Remus stood up from his spot.

“It probably didn’t matter. I’m gonna go annoy Janus.”

“Oh,” Logan’s voice was small, “Alright, then.”

He was already gone.

That was… concerning. Not to mention bewildering; Remus didn’t just pass up opportunities to talk! He didn’t just leave, not even when he wasn’t wanted! Logan really hadn’t thought his zoning out would earn such a reaction. 

But he was far from perceptive about emotional problems. There was no way to know if it was anything to throw a fit over. For all he knew, it was just an off-day. He couldn’t always expect his friend to be rambunctious and energetic, even if that was a big part of his personality. 

The issue would likely resolve itself.

 The issue did not do that. It did the polar opposite, speeding from mildly concerning to downright frightening at a whiplash-inducing pace.

Remus barely asked questions and almost never offered insight, as he usually did when they spent time together. In fact, his contributions had become rare and unenthusiastic enough that he could have passed as neurotypical, however disturbing the thought was. And that was when they did end up spending time together, which was becoming less and less often, much to the dismay of one significantly smitten smart side.

Something was very clearly wrong with Remus. Not the demented, destructive, mildly endearing and unhinged sort of wrong. It was the wrong sort of wrong.

Logan was hesitant to confront him outright. After a couple weeks of careful consideration, a more subtle solution occurred to him, as he idly flipped through a very graphic murder-mystery late into the night. Something bloody, and awful, and very much Remus’ taste. He set the novel down, knowing full well that his friend would be wide awake as he made his way across the hall.

“Remus?” he knocked at the side’s door, wearing a smile much wider than he usually liked. He was more than willing to express exuberance, if there was even the slightest chance that it would be infectious.

The door decidedly did not fly open. Rather, after a good deal of wrapping at it, Remus slowly pulled it back and poked his head out.

“Oh. Hey.”

Logan didn't dwell on the concern that reaction brought. He had something that would cheer Creativity up, of that he was sure.

“I have a test tonight- it’s going to be very messy,” he began, searching the impulsive trait’s eyes for any signs of interest. There was the slightest glint, but not much more. 

“So, you want me to make stuff for you?” His speech was monotonous. 

“Yes, that was the idea. It’s going to be gory.”

Hardly a reaction. All Remus did was open the door the rest of the way to allow Logan inside. Clearly, he had underestimated just how poorly his friend felt.

“Alright, I’ll set it up for you. Just don’t take too long, I was actually hoping to use my part of the Mindscape today.”

Logan nodded, very taken aback. He couldn’t ignore the slight hurt at the cold, dismissive tone (the irony of that wasn’t lost on him).

They stepped foot into The Imagination and immediately Remus stopped, destroying whatever had been in front of them- which was usually fine, it was just how he operated, but normally out of enthusiasm, not apathy. Maybe this was more than could be fixed with some blood and guts.

“What do you need?”

Logan conjured a tiny notebook, giving a tentative smile. Still, he was giving this plan a shot.

“Operating table,” one appeared before him, sleek metal with rolly legs, “A standard set of surgical tools,” he looked up to gauge Remus’ interest, but his expression still hadn’t changed as he continued to create, “A human corpse, and then we can get started.”

With a wave, a perfectly generic body fell onto the table, but Logan’s attention remained on The Duke.

“Great, have fun, let me know when you’re finished.”

Logan faltered, watching him turn to leave.

“You- you aren’t going to stay and do this with me?”

“You want me to?” Remus crossed his arms over his chest and fixed Logan with a gaze that could (figuratively) wilt flowers.

“I- Yes? If you aren’t at all interested right now, then I can save this experiment for another day?” Yeah, this wasn’t working, but Logan had no backup.

“No, no, don’t wait for me, you’ve already got everything you need, right?”

“I mean- technically, yes, but it- it wouldn’t be the same.”

Remus cackled, sounding quite like the cartoonish villain that he often acted as. It hurt to listen to.

“So that’s what this is about! Let me just fix you up, then!” 

He snapped, and a blank humanoid form appeared at his side. It tilted its faceless head curiously at Logan, who recoiled.

“Not good enough? Is a hunk of nothing too unrealistic for you?” he snapped again, and the being suddenly transformed to match its creator exactly. 

Nearly exactly: it wore an enthusiastic grin, eyes wide and sparkling, rather than the steadily building fire that raged in real-Remus’ eyes. It spoke in a disgustingly cheery tone.

“Wow, tell me more! Show me that again? What happens when you do that? You’re just so interesting, Lo!” 

Remus watched the creation, a look of one part pride and a million parts resentment.

“Is that what you want? It’s just like me, but without any of the hassle of being another person that you have to deal with! And this one, you really can get rid of whenever you want, isn’t that great?”

Logan looked between the two, a fearful understanding creeping up his spine. There was something he was missing here, wasn’t there?

“No,” he muttered, half to the fake-Duke and half to the real one. 

“No?” Remus spat, circling his mirror, “No, of course, you’re so right. This isn’t nearly enough.”

He made an elaborate gesture, and about a dozen more Creativities appeared, surrounding them. Logan stumbled back from them, nearly tripping on the operating table that they’d previously made. When he looked up, the real Remus was approaching him with an expression that fought its way between guilt and indignation. It was all at once heart-wrenching and frightening. 

Logan tried to right himself, tried to look unaffected and certain of himself, as he raised his voice. He would not let this go a step farther, despite his confusion.

“Stop,” and with that, a wave rocked across The Imagination, and all was erased. In the aftermath he stood before a teary-eyed Remus (just the one, though), uncharacteristically looking like a stiff wind would knock him right over.

“What’s wrong? I gave you what you wanted!”

Logan reeled.

“Why would you think I wanted any of that?” 

“You wanted an experiment, I gave you one! You wanted a willing audience, I gave you twelve! But I guess I just get everything wrong, right?”

“You know that isn’t true,” Logan felt choked, his words clumsy. It was foreign and horrible and disgusting, but he’d trudge through it all if it meant fixing whatever he’d done wrong. It couldn’t have just been him losing focus once? Could it? 

“Oh, of course, I do just enough to be useful. So I’ve got that right; I’m a good utensil. Is it so much to ask that people would care about me, not just what I can do?” he posed a rhetorical oozing with vitriol, but it quickly evaporated into something much more desperate, “What if it’s my fault? It was my idea, I wanted to help. I don’t know why I thought you’d care past all that, did I give you a reason to? I can’t remember. It might make more sense that way, if I were the problem, wouldn’t it?”

Logan was running out of time to fix this, watching Remus curl in on himself, barely keeping from falling to the floor. He had no clue how The Duke had reached the conclusion that he didn’t care about him! They spent nearly all their free time together: sitting next to each other just to have the company, throwing each other tricky and often troubling questions to answer, constantly toiling away at things in The Imagination. Sometimes, they didn’t even need to talk, they just worked together in rapt silence; Remus did the creating and Logan arranged his work just so, and- Wait. Wait. Wait.

Logan didn’t need to talk, or touch, for that matter. Perhaps it was a mistake to presume the same for such a needy, affectionate, boisterous side? 

No, not perhaps, it was a huge mistake. A major fuck-up, if you will. 

He’d thought, if the blunt side had needed such comforts, surely he would initiate it? He hardly shied away from anything, except, well. 

Except. Feelings. 

God, he was the dumbest smart person in the world.

“Oh, Remus…”

The Duke’s head jerked up, continuing his back-and-forth of desperation and rage. 

“I don't need your pity!”

Logan sighed, twisting the end of his tie in frustration. 

“That isn't what I'm offering,” he took a breath before continuing, linking the words together so it would come out right. “I'm so sorry, I didn't take into account how you would interpret our interactions. I thought it was obvious that I cared for you, that I didn't need to say it outright. Clearly… I was wrong. So, if you need more than what I previously expressed- which I'm now realizing was very little in the eyes of someone who is not me- then I am happy to provide that for you.” 

Remus was shaken, a good deal of his ire slipping away. Whether that was good or bad remained unclear.

Before it could be overthought, Logan crossed the remaining few feet between them and brought his arms around The Duke in his loose approximation of a hug. The trait froze, but he didn't pull away. 

Physical affection, check. 

“I value your companionship more than I'm entirely sure how to verbalize. You understand me in a way that most others don’t seem to. While your ability to make detailed creations is very helpful, it is hardly the only thing I appreciate about you. 

“For one, you make me laugh. A lot. More than I'm used to. Additionally, you can easily match the pace with which I speak, or change topics! And, you are so much smarter than you make yourself out to be,” Logan finished the spiel with a smile, genuinely proud at his ability to articulate such… sentimental things, with relative ease. Words of affirmation, check.

He snapped back to attention when Remus brought shaking hands up to Logan's chest. For a moment, he worried that Remus would shove him away. The fears dissipated when all he did was bunch the front of Logan's shirt in his hands and hold on tight. 

“Do you mean that,” his volume was low, “Or do you just want me to calm down?”

Logan tightened his grip around him and, following a motion that he'd seen Patton employ many times to great success, he rubbed up and down his back.

“I understand that it might be hard for you to trust me, but I promise I'm not lying to you. I would have to be pretty awful to do something like that, wouldn't I?”

Hesitantly, Remus nodded against his collar. A good sign, but there was one thing left he had to say. 

“And- If you need further convincing- then you should know. I love you.”

Remus stilled. He then unfisted his hands from Logan's shirt. It was an anticipatory second before he threw his arms around the logical trait and finally returned the hug. His hold was crushing, and it was the most comforting thing that Logan had ever felt. 

They were okay.

“I'm sorry I-” 

Logan didn’t let him finish the apology. 

“Don't be. You didn't know how I felt, because I hadn't communicated it in a way you understood. That is hardly your fault.”

Remus nodded again, remaining much quieter than he’d probably ever been in his entire existence.

They held each other for longer than either would like to admit, speaking softly. 

“Thanks,” was muttered against Logan’s shoulder. 

“Of course. Just so you know, I'm more than willing to do this again whenever you need reassurance.”

“It might be a lot,” his tone was turning more mischievous, more him, “Are you sure you can handle that?”

“Absolutely.”

Logan hardly minded having an opportunity to gush about Remus to Remus. Not to mention, the physical affection was even nicer than he'd imagined it being. And oh, had he imagined it. 

Remus' face returned to his usual ever-present zeal, and he ended their hug to bounce in place. 

“Great! I'm good now! We can get on with that autopsy you wanted to show me- there better be buckets of blood!”

Logan shifted his weight. 

“Maybe we should save that for another day.”

“Oh,” Remus' face fell the smallest bit, “Okay.”

Logan was quick to amend:

“By that I mean, I have something better in mind.”

 Remus curled himself up in Logan’s lap, his eyes barely focused on the TV as the side carded his hands through his tangled mop of hair. Final Destination 3 played on the television (he had assured Logan that they didn't need to see the first two, and he was mostly right), serving as an excuse for the two to drink in each other's company. 

It was right in the middle of a particularly graphic rollercoaster scene that Remus took Logan's hands from his hair to hold them, twisting around to face him.

“Is something wrong, Remus?”

“You told me you loved me,” he stated blankly. 

“Yes, I did.”

“I didn't say it back!”

“No, you didn't,” it hadn't been the most important matter at the time, really. “You don't have to say it. It's perfectly okay if you don't feel the s- Mmph!”

Remus smashed their lips together, holding the sides of Logan's face (disrupting his glasses in the process) and pulling him forward harshly. 

Logan, for less than a second, was floored. And then Remus tilted his head to deepen the already heated kiss, and the situation properly clicked. Logan reciprocated, slightly uncertain in his movements, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. 

Remus smiled against him. He nipped at Logan's lower lip with sharpened teeth, eliciting a very embarrassing yelp. Logic let his lips part in response as his thoughts grew fuzzier by the second. 

The (somewhat clumsy) open-mouthed kiss lasted right until they absolutely had to break, separating for air. Neither moved very far, letting their foreheads rest against each other and all but panting for breath.

“I love you so fuckin' much, nerd,” when Remus spoke, their lips brushed ever so slightly, “Just so you know.”

“I picked up on that, yes.” 

“A little clarity never hurts, right?”

Logan chuckled at the reference to his own sentiments, but the sound was abruptly cut off when Remus kissed him properly again. 

When they broke apart, he explained how 'stupid-cute' that laugh was. And Logan, only half-joking (since when did he joke at all?), said that he’d have to do it more often.

Banter came easily to them, despite the raw undercurrent that still laced their conversation. Although, neither of them had ever found it difficult to talk; talk about the first thing that came to mind and the last thing that would come to anyone’s mind, talk about exceedingly simple nonsense and topics so intricate that they wound up sounding like nonsense, just talk.

So things would stay mostly the same. They would ramble to each other when no one else could stand to hear such disturbing things. They would sit, working side by side, running through plans and ideas and results at rapid-paced speech. They’d speak, and they would listen, when even their closest friends couldn’t manage such patience.

Only now, sometimes the rushed words might turn soft. Now, all that ranting might be more substantial than anyone would at first see. Now, they’d still listen, but leaned close together, gazes impossibly fond.

But then, on occasion, they would find that there were things far more fun than talking to do together.

@shrimp-crockpot

[rhysreece]

Five in a bed and the Sixth one said.

6/7

The room is dark when Janus opens his eyes. When it doesn't get brighter, he realises he's blind. Shit. That is not supposed to happen. Last he remembers, Patton poisoned his tea, the conniving rat. But hey, he survived. Knowing Virgil, the others know he's alive too. So he waits.

He feeds the giant boas in their herpatorium, his own invention. An entire room heated to the right temperature, with everything a snake could ever want. On the lonelier nights, he sleeps with them, their twin bodies curled around him like the arm of a prince- or anyone. A small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless.

He listens the news, regrets it, and throws his phone, feeling it remateralise next to him, unscathed. Infuriating device. Wars and violence and chaos isn't what he needs right now. What he needs is the pair of footsteps approaching his door. Janus' heart flutters a little as his stormcloud knocks on the door. The brief wave of nostalgia nearly floors him, but he recovers and opens the door, confused as to their horrified response.

"Jan- Oh my god Janus sit down. You look awful."

"Why thank you, I try my best.

"Seriously, you're sheet white, what the hell."

"I wouldn't know. I'm blind."

"You're what. Blind?! That's the absolute last thing we need!"

Logan has to interject before Virgil throws something in a fight or flight reflex.

"If I may, Janus?"

"Why of course, Logan. Why are you grabbing my face-"

He starts examining Janus' eyes, and then his mouth. He winces at the residual swelling, and gags at the rotten flesh that was his tonsils. Staying clear of his fangs, fully extended as an impulse reaction, he probes around a bit more, then nods.

"The blindness is a side effect of dying by poison, and will fade. We will however need a surgery once this is over to deal with the remains of your tonsils. In the meantime, we need to go save the twins."

With no one okay with what just came out of Logan's mouth, the three make their way all over the mindscape, turning in every direction, trying to find the twins, before Janus stops, functionless eyes wide.

"I have absolutely no idea where they could be, and I'm going this way for no discernible reason and you shouldn't follow me under any circumstances."

And he's off, aided by his staff, hobbling at a fairly quick pace, only walking into a tree twice. (No one laughed, it wasn't funny.) They eventually arrive at a large, futuristic building buried in deep, tall trees.

"I think we're here. Boys, help me inside."

"Jan what is this place? It's so… Creepy."

"Well, my hoodied, hackles-raised friend, this is a cottage, and not a laboratory used to restrain sides when they get too Patton."

"Oh great. Who's in here?"

"Last I checked, everybody, but Patton has been here."

"I can't tell if that last one was a lie or not" Virgil has to stand on his tiptoes to whisper to Logan, looking far too skeptical to actually go in. The overly white box gives him so many bad vibes, but Janus is already hobbling forward, scanning himself in, so the others follow.

The inside of the lab isn't much better. Bleach white halls with stainless steel equipment, and suffocating smell of bleach and ethanol. His trainers stick out like sore thumbs against the smooth, endless white tiles, and the phantoms, yellow smoke forming ghostly figures, move in their small animations, manning reception desks, shops, and waiting areas.

Logan is doing very well to disguise his bone chilling terror of this accursed place. The faceless nurses, the endless corridors, it's given him a fair share of nightmares, and a hatred of reflective surfaces that plagues him to this day.

He follows as Janus leads them through the labyrinth, eventually ending up at a ward labelled 'Isolation Station' in colourful crayon. Three guesses as to who wrote that. He isn't sure if Virgil could tell how tightly his fists are clenched as they enter a room, with rows of square rooms, with a fake wall, one way, so the people inside could be observed without noticing. Logan has to bite back tears, and fights very hard against the urge to run. For Remus.

There, next to each other, are the twins. Remus is muttering to himself, clearly fighting against a concussion. Roman is tearing at his own skin, blood staining the white floor red with a mix of blood and tears. With a slam, Janus unlocks the stations, and feels his way to Roman's sobs, Virgil next to him, trying to calm down a violent Roman. Logan practically runs to Remus, dropping any pretenses and throwing himself into his arms, clutching him so tight it hurt them both.

"Oh my Morningstar I've missed you so much. Oh god your head. Here, lie down."

"Starlight…? I held on, like you'd tell me to. Did- Did I do okay?"

Logan practically sobs through his grin, kissing Ree's forehead gently. God he loved this man.

"Yes, dear, you did so wonderful. Rest now, I'll wake you up in a bit, and we'll deal with this concussion. I'll look after you, my sweet."

His eyes are shut before the sentence ends. Logan looks over at the others, cradling a broken Roman in their arms, and carries Remus over to join them.

"Roman. I'm glad you're okay-" "Remus!"

Roman lunges for Remus, holding him close and crying again, mumbling incoherently.

"Ro, buddy, it's okay. We're here. We're real. We love you."

"Virgil is right, Roman. The side effects of the hallucinogens will wear off soon, I can see the residue on the floor. Remus has a nasty concussion that I need to treat, and we're all hurt. Can you help us get him somewhere else?"

Roman just nods numbly, not letting go of his brother the entire time. A few hours of medical attention later, they're all properly sewed back together, and napping on two mattresses pushed together on the floor. Remus and Roman are tangled together, Logan is slumped with his head on Remus' stomach and his legs serving as pillow for Virgil, whose feet are resting next to Janus, who is cuddled up to Roman's back. Logan is the only one awake, and the feeling is overwhelming.

After months of preparing for Patton, and not touching anyone, every ghost of a breath on his palm consumes him with a burning, frantic need for more, drawing, for the first time in a very long time, tears of happiness at this brief respite, this moment to breathe and focus in the quiet. The contact is the only thing grounding him in this nightmare hospital, but for now, the imminent threat, looming and foreboding, simply doesn't exist.

As he starts to drift off, he looks over the six of them, cuddled together in this frantic, desperate drive for physical contact, and smiles, finally at peace for a brief moment.

Hold on.

Six?

[snowdice]

Finding the Time to Study Fic 2 [Day 33]

Here is my starting post for today’s study break stories session. See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. I’ll be constantly looking for ideas of times and places for Janus to have missions, so feel free to send in any you can think of at any point!

If you are a new follower or just don’t want all of these posts clogging your dash, please feel free to block the tag “study break stories” as all posts and voting about it will go there. You can still see the finished product of the story even if you are blocking that tag as I will not tag the edited chapters with “study break stories” but with the tag “folds in paper.” See edited chapters below. None edited chapters are under the cut.

My Masterpost Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted). It’s short, and not really for serious listening, but I had fun with it.

Alright, here we go again!

Chapter 12

There was something off about his readings. Clearly the time distortion was starting to pull at this place with the way the weather was flickering between storming and sunny, but he still couldn’t quite pinpoint the exact location of the source of it. He could, however, get that it must be somewhere on this side of the river more into the downtown area, so that’s the way he was walking, Pat close on his heels.

“What’s your name, by the way?” he asked.

Janus shot him a glare. “Elvis Presley,” he said.

Pat frowned, clearly knowing who that was. “There’s no reason to be mean.”

 “You did it to me first.”

“…Introduced myself as a famous musician?” he asked. Janus didn’t respond, and after a moment, Pat laughed lightly. “You really don’t understand time travel, do you?”

“Oh, yeah,” Janus said. “Name the three types of time distortions.”

“Just because I don’t know the names of things doesn’t mean I don’t understand them.” He stuck out his tongue. Janus was dealing with an actual toddler. “Unlike you who has a bunch of fancy words, but just caused a time loop.”

Janus scoffed. “I did not just cause a time loop.”

“Maybe not a big one,” Pat agreed, “but you did.”

 Janus raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never introduced myself to you with a musician’s name, but now you’ve told me that I will. So, at some point in the future I will have to, thereby making you think to say that now. Time loop.”

“That’s not… that doesn’t count.”

“Does too,” Pat claimed. “Like I have said once before and you may or may not have heard me say before, anything you do to me to get back at me for something I haven’t done yet, just causes whatever that is to happen in the first place.”

“But you’re still going to do it.”

 “Then take it up with future me. I haven’t done anything to you.” Then he paused and sighed. “…Which I guess means you’ve done nothing to me.” He seemed to mull this concept over for a long moment. “Well you were a bit crabby about me not knowing what a time distortion was, but I can forgive you for that.”

“And I’m supposed to forgive you?”

“Like I said,” Pat said. “I haven’t done anything yet.”

“You also haven’t done anything to endear yourself to me either,” Janus grumbled.

“Hmm,” Pat said. “Fine.” He pulled something out of his pocket. “You’re obviously not having much luck finding whatever you’re looking for. Tell me what it is and I’ll help.”

Janus squinted at what was in his hand. “Is that… an iPhone 5?”

“No!” he said. “It’s super-secret time travel tech disguised as an iPhone 5!”

“We’re in 2027,” Janus said. “Not a great disguise. Those things have been obsolete for a decade.”

“Well I’ll keep in mind to have my tech disguised as phones from the right year next time,” Pat said, sticking out his tongue. “Now what are we looking for?”

“If my timepiece can’t find it, I’m certain yours can’t.”

 Pat rolled his eyes and tapped on the device’s screen a couple of times. “I’m going to guess it’s that,” he said proudly.

Janus leaned over to look at the screen. “Are you using google maps?” he sputtered.

“It integrates time relevant data like traffic conditions and local weather warnings with time travel technology,” Pat explained. “Something seems to be going on in a museum a couple of blocks that way.”

“I…” Janus said. That was actually a really good idea, usually unnecessary with scouts observing that data beforehand, and Janus wasn’t sure how good the accuracy would be considering whatever was taking it into account was automated, but still a good idea. “Well, I guess since we have no other leads, we can check it out.”

 Pat looked far too proud for having only used a piece of tech that hadn’t even been confirmed as accurate. “Then, let’s go,” he said right as a chilly wind started to pick up and a couple of snowflakes began to fall around them. “Before that gets worse…”

Janus let Pat lead with his iPhone. Janus’s timepiece still wasn’t picking up a clear signal for some reason, but it seemed to point in the same general direction as Pat’s. Strangely though, as they got closer to their destination, the signal started to get fuzzier. Pat’s tech seemed unaffected leading them closer to the museum.

 When they got to the Musée Fabre museum, Janus stopped. “What?” Pat asked. He was shivering slightly in the cold and holding his arms around himself.

“My timepiece stopped working completely,” he said.

“I’m assuming that’s weird?” Pat said.

“It is,” Janus confirmed, turning to squint at him suspiciously. “How do I know you’re not the one doing it?”

“If I was doing it, wouldn’t I have just knocked it out from the get go?” Pat questioned.

Janus pursed his lips. “I don’t know,” he said. “Would you have? Maybe it’s a trick.”

Pat’s eyes narrowed a bit on him. “Think what you want, but I’m freezing. Come in with me if you want.”

 He dithered from a few moments before following Pat inside. Pat had already struck up a conversation with the woman charging admission into art museum. She was looking at him, her brow knit as he spoke. Janus nudged him away from her getting a confused glance from him in return. He shot a smile at the woman.

“Two adult passes for the museum and the Hotel Sabatier d’Espevran, please,” he said, placing down 14 euro.

“Ah,” she said, still looking at Pat oddly. “Yes sir.” She gave them the passes and Janus quickly shuffled Pat away.

“What is wrong with your French?” he hissed once they were out of earshot.

 “What?” he asked, bewildered.

“You sound like you’re reading Le Comte de Monte-Cristo. No one talks like that anymore.”

“I’m a little rusty,” Pat defended himself.

“Two centuries?” Janus asked. Pat stuck his tongue out like a child once again. “Is that your only way to respond to legitimate criticism?”

“What does it even matter anyway? No one ever expects time travel, at least not for something so silly.”

“It’s not silly,” Janus said. “It’s a legitimate issue. The wrong person who’s watched too much science fiction notices and you’re putting the timeline at risk. Not to mention if there are other time travelers around that aren’t as nice as me.”

 “Are there a lot of time travelers around?” Pat asked, sounding intrigued.

“There are plenty, both legal and not.”

“Huh,” he said, “but what are the chances we’ll run into another one?”

“Considering the time distortion? There could be many. Opportunists wanting to capitalize off the chaos, people trying to stop it, like me, and not to mention the person who caused it.”

“Wait, someone made it happen?” Pat asked.

“These things don’t just happen naturally.”

“Huh. So, something like this has to be caused by a person?”

“Yes,” Janus said. “…Why?”

Pat smiled. “No reason. I think we should head upstairs. Whatever I’m picking up says it’s around here, but I don’t see anything. Maybe it’s a floor or two above us.”

“Which is why it’s ridiculous to use Google Maps.”

 “Would you rather use yours?” he asked sweetly.

“I’m still not convinced it’s not your doing,” Janus growled. “Why does your tech still work when mine doesn’t?”

“Probably the same reason the ring did,” he muttered.

“What?”

“What?”

“You may be the most aggravating being in the universe.”

Pat glanced at him with a bit of a smirk. “I can’t tell you,” he said. “It would be a much bigger risk to the timeline than me speaking in French from the 1830s. But, I’m pretty sure the reason mine still works is just a software difference.”

“What the hell do you mean a software difference?”

 Pat opened his mouth, doubtlessly to supply him with yet another frustratingly cheeky and unhelpful answer. Yet, Pat did not have a chance to do so as, just as Janus stepped onto the second floor of the museum, the ground started to violently shake. Janus tried to turn to catch Pat as the other man’s foot slipped on the last step, but he couldn’t do so in time. Pat fell onto his hands and knees, sliding back a few steps and smacking his face into the stairs hard once and then a couple of times more after that as he slid.

 Chapter 13

The room stopped shaking after a moment. “Ow,” Pat said. He seemed a bit stunned but was still moving at least. He carefully maneuvered himself into a seating position. “Ouch. Owie.” He reached up to poke his own nose. “Ow!” Janus slapped his hand away when he got there. A bit of blood was already trickling from his nose and there was a small cut over his eye, but it wasn’t bleeding too much.

Janus pushed him so he was leaning slightly forward and produced a pack of time appropriate tissues from his pocket. He pulled one out of the package and offered it to him.

 He took it and pressed it up against his nose to try to stop the bleeding. He seemed mostly alright though Janus imagined he’d have plenty of bruises down the line. The power in the museum flickered and Janus looked up. Now that he was listening, he could hear people panicking in and out of the museum.

“We should probably get off of the stairs,” he suggested.

“Yeah,” Pat agreed. Janus helped him to his feet, and they climbed back up the steps. Janus looked around and found an employees only sign a few feet away. Usually he’d not risk that as it could get him into trouble he didn’t want to be in, but considering the earthquake that had just happened, he could probably play it off as panic.

 He ushered Pat into a small room and found a chair and table. He had Pat sit in the chair and pulled out another one of the tissues to dab at the blood coming from the cut over his eyes. “Here,” he said. “Hold that there. I’m going to go see if there are any bandages about.”

Pat took the tissue with the hand not already holding one to his nose. “Thanks,” he said.

Janus nodded and got to his feet. The lights flickered once again but didn’t stay off for now. He didn’t know how long that would last.

 He couldn’t see anything that might hold bandages in this room, but there was a second door. “I’ll be right back,” he told Pat, exiting through it.

The lights flickered once more as the door closed behind him and he cursed. When they came back up Janus’s eyes immediately fell on a man. They both froze.

“Remus!” Janus hissed the second their eyes met. “What are you doing here?”

Remus blinked at him for a moment. “Hi. Janus,” he said. “I… come to France for… tea sometimes?”

“There isn’t any tea back here.”

“So, there isn’t…” he said. There was a moment of silence. “Uh, so I actually cannot talk to you right now.”

 “What do you mean?” Janus asked. Remus grimaced in a way Janus had never seen from him before. It immediately set off alarm bells in Janus’s head. “Oh my god,” Janus said. “Oh my god. You’re not from the same time as me.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Remus mumbled.

“Holy shit, you’re looping?!”

“It’s… not looping if I wasn’t here the first time.”

“Remus, we spend more than 12 hours a day together most of the time. The only thing worse than this is if I looped back to this time myself.”

“…Yeah. Anyway, I need to leave now.”

“Please do.”

 He turned to go, but then stopped. “Oh, and,” he reached into his pocket and tossed something at Janus. Janus caught it.

It was Band-Aids.

“Oh, shit,” Janus spat at the clear use of foreknowledge. “I hate this. I hate you. I’m going to kill you the next time you see me.”

“Sure, Jan.”

“Go.”

He did, slipping into the next room while Janus took a deep breath and then turned back to the door behind him. He schooled his face before Pat looked up. “I found some Band-Aids.”

Pat nodded and Janus came over to squat next to him.

 Janus opened the box and Pat looked down. His eyes lit up with sudden joy so intense that Janus felt like he’d just gotten a punch to the gut. “Kitty Band-Aids!” he exclaimed. Janus bothered to actually look at the design on the container, only to note the cartoon cats on the front. Pat was almost vibrating off his seat. “Look they’re all so cute!” He grabbed the container from him to inspect the different designs printed on the back with glee even as a bit of blood was still trickling from his nose.

Janus took the box back gently and guided the wad of bloody Kleenexes back to his nose.

 “Which would you like?” Janus asked.

“Oh, they are all so cute,” Pat cooed. “Um, how about that one!” he pointed. “Or that one! Or that one!”

“Pat you only have one cut.”

“But they’re all so cute!” Pat said, tongue tucking into his cheek. He contemplated the box again. “Let’s do the black one,” he finally settled on.

Janus selected one of the Band-Aids with a black cat wrapped around a pink ball of yarn and staring back at them with wide green eyes. The think looked like it had partaken in one two many doses of catnip, but Janus didn’t mention that.

 Instead, he just carefully unstuck the backing from the Band-Aid and motioned for Pat to remove the tissue from his forehead. He smiled at Janus as he drew back.

Janus cleared his throat. “How’s the nose.”

“It’s slowing down,” Pat replied. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Janus replied. They met eyes for a second before Pat looked away back at the box of Band-Aids.

“Oh,” Pat said. “There’s a grey one. I didn’t notice.” He pointed to it. “I should have used that one.”

“Do you like grey cats?” Janus asked.

“I like all kitties,” he said, “but one of my roommates loves grey cats. He had one when he was a kid and thinks of them as good omens. Seeing one always brightens up his day.”

“A friend of mine has a grey cat,” Janus said. “She’s much more tolerable than him.”

Pat laughed a bit. “Don’t be mean,” he said.

“Oh, he deserves it, don’t worry.” Janus considered him for a moment. “Here,” he said, pulling out one of the Band-Aids with the grey cat on it. It did, actually, look a lot like Diesel Fuel.

“But I don’t…”

Janus just shrugged and stuck it on his cheek where there was no wound. Pat giggled and touched it with a finger. Janus stood back up.

“Can I have another tissue?” Pat asked.

“Sure.” Janus handed a tissue over to him and he crumpled up the bloody ones in his hand.

“I think I’m good to keep going,” Pat said, putting the new tissue under his nose. “The nose will stop soon.”

 Pat got out his iPhone and directed him back out of the room. They checked the second floor and didn’t find anything and so went to the third floor. The second they arrived in the room that Pat’s phone was directing them too, Janus knew that it must be right. There was a strange, distorted whirling sound and the entire room was shaking slightly like they were standing next to a railroad track.

“I’m guessing this is it,” Pat said.

Janus nodded and looked over his shoulder at the screen. They both cautiously walked towards where the little dot was on the phone.

 “Is that it?” Pat asked, pointing at a small device on the center column in the room. Janus reached forward to flip the switch on it. The whirling stopped and the room settled. Janus’s time piece vibrated as it came back online. They waited for a few moments. “I assumed… time distortions would be more…”

“They are,” Janus said. “This one is artificial.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s a simulation,” Janus said. “It causes similar symptoms to a time distortion, but it’s not actually fracturing time at all.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Pat asked.

“I don’t know,” Janus said. He took the piece of tech of the wall and carefully stored it in his pocket, “but someone’s trying to get our attention.”

 Chapter 14

Janus didn’t feel comfortable leaving France 2027 just yet, still weirded out by the strange turn of events. So, he and Pat ended up sticking around for a couple of hours. They looked through the art museum for a bit, but Janus was having trouble focusing on the pieces, and Pat eventually suggested they get some air. Janus agreed considering the museum would close for the night soon anyway.

They wandered around the downtown for a bit. The people seemed to jump back from the strange weather and earthquake that afternoon rather quickly, and there were plenty still about to blend into.

 Pat was snapping photos every so often like a tourist which Janus shook his head at but allowed because even with the outdated phone it almost made them blend in even more. It also might stop any questions about Pat’s weird way of speaking French. They could just say he was an overeager tourist who watched too many old movies.

“Ooo!” Pat said. “We should get crepes.”

“Why?”

“You can’t go to France and not eat crepes.”

“I assure you, you can,” Janus said dryly.

Pat shot a pout at him and the next thing he knew he was in a small crepe shop.

 For Janus, choosing something was easy. He just ordered the first thing he found on the menu which seemed to be a standard one with ham and eggs. Pat on the other hand seemed to be struggling greatly, and Janus had to gently push him to the side to let some other customers order first.

“What should I get!?” Pat asked. “They all look so good! I could do strawberry preserves or maple syrup or just sugar!”

“Or you could get one that is actually food,” Janus suggested mildly. “I don’t think you need any more sugar judging by how you are acting.”

Pat rolled his eyes. “You sound like Lo.”

 Janus made a note of the name ‘Lo’ even though it surely was a nickname.

“But, since you’re insisting, I’ll get something healthy. I’ll have the strawberry one. That’s a fruit!”

“It comes with a cream cheese filling,” Janus pointed out.

“And it’s fruit!”

Janus shook his head and stepped up to the counter. “One ham and cheese and one strawberry preserve, please,” he said to the cashier as he was not allowing Pat to order in French and accidently say something stupid. He forked over some euros.

“You don’t have to pay for me,” Pat protested when he saw that.

Janus glanced back at him. “I was afraid you’d try to pay in francs,” he said dryly.

 It looked like Pat was about to stick his tongue out at him, remembered that Janus had criticized him for that earlier, and then just scrunched up his face in displeasure as though that was any less childish.

They waited for their crepes to be finished and then went to eat them outside near a water fountain.

“I can pay you back for the crepe,” Pat said after they sat down. “I do actually have euros.”

Janus waved him off. “It wasn’t that expensive.”

Pat hummed. “Well, in that case. I insist on paying for a wish for you.” Janus raised an eyebrow. “In the fountain!” Pat clarified.

 Pat set aside his crepe to dig in his pocket for a couple of coins. “Here!” he said handing one over.

Janus glanced over at the fountain. “No.”

“Oh, come on,” Pat beseeched. “You have to want something. I’ll even throw it in for you, but you have to make a wish first!”

“No.”

“Please!”

Janus sighed. “Fine.” He popped the rest of his crepe in his mouth. “I wish for a crepe,” he said after swallowing.

“You just had a crepe, silly.”

“But I liked it, so I want another one.”

“We can go back and get you another crepe.”

“Ah, but I’m not hungry anymore.”

Pat crossed his arms. “You’re just being difficult on purpose.”

 “Not me,” Janus said putting hand over his heart. “I would never do something like that.”

 Pat glared at him, but then snatched the coin out of his hand. “Fine!” he said. “One crepe wish coming right up.” He hopped up with the two coins and darted over to the water fountain. Janus turned to watch him go but then happened to catch sight of something out of the corner of his eyes.

Pat’s phone.

He didn’t pause in his movement, completing the turn, but as he watched Pat close his eyes, presumably to focus on his own wish, Janus snuck a hand out and grabbed the phone without looking. He slipped it into his own pocket.

 Pat came back over after throwing both coins in the fountain and didn’t even seem to notice that his phone was missing, picking up his crepe to take another bite. Just to make sure, though Janus decided to distract him. “What do you think of your crepe?” Janus asked.

“I like it! It’s sweet, but not too sweet. There was a crepe place across the street from my apartment in college, but they always put a bit too much sugar in the dough, I think. I’d still eat them, but these are much better.”

Janus nodded and kept up the light conversation until Pat was finished.

21088

“Well,” he said then, getting to his feet. “It seems that nothing else is going to happen regarding the time distortion. I should be getting back.”

Pat hummed. “I should too. It’s movie night!”

“I probably should arrest you,” Janus noted.

“In the middle of all of these people?” Pat asked mildly.

“Touché,” Janus said.

Pat gasped and pointed at him. “Pun!” he said. Janus blinked at him. “Because we’re in France! That’s French!”

“…Goodbye Pat,” Janus said, turning to walk away from him.

“Goodbye… wait I still don’t know your name!”

Janus stopped to look back at him for a moment. “Like I said,” he replied. “Elvis.”

“Fine,” Pat said. “Au revoir, mon chéri.”

“You never stop, do you?” Janus asked.

Pat giggled. “Considering I don’t know what you mean, I imagine I’m just getting started.”

Janus actually left then, walking off towards the alley he’d first arrived in. In some ways, the mission had been a bust, but in others it had gone very well.

He felt for the weight of the phone in his pocket before pulling up the display screen on his timepiece to go back to the TPI.

It had gone very well indeed.

 Chapter 15

The first thing Janus had done when he’d returned to the TPI was hand over the timebomb to Khalid who sent it to forensics. Within the hour, forensics got back to them that it was the same timebomb as 2999 and that it had never exploded, but simply been diffused. Which meant, blessings on blessings, everyone got to go home that night.

 Not that Janus went home, no, he ended up falling asleep on his desk somewhere between 3 and 4am, but at least he wasn’t sharing his space with anyone. He’d been trying to hack the cell phone all night to see if it had anything he could use, but he honestly had no idea what he was doing. All it seemed he could do was play some annoying song over and over again about never giving someone up. At around 2am, he’d finally broken and sent off an email, though, he’d continued to try to mess with it after that.

 He got woken up by Lena coming into the office at 7am, and noticed he already had an email response asking when Janus wanted to come in.

“Now?” he sent back.

“…Do you sleep?” was the immediate response. “And yes.”

His wrist buzzed as an appointment in 5 seconds downloaded to his timepiece. He selected the coordinates and landed at Cultural Outreach. The receptionist blinked up at him and then back down at the screen on his desk. “Oh!” he said. “I didn’t see this appointment. I think Professor Eran is in his office.”

He didn’t stand to escort Janus this time, so Janus went ahead and went down the hall to Virgil’s office himself.

 He knocked on the door and while he was waiting for Virgil to open it, the infernal contraption once again started to play the same stupid song.

“I didn’t even touch you!” he spat, getting it out and tapping on the screen.

“Jonas Brothers dude again?” Virgil asked causally upon opening the door.

Janus shoved it at him. “Make it stop.”

Virgil took it and fiddled with it for a few moments before it stopped with the song. “Oh my gosh,” he said scrolling through something on the screen.

“What.”

“What maniac sets a custom alarm for every 30-60 minutes for a week that just plays ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’? Oh, and one ‘It’s Not Unusual’ on Saturday. He’s mixing memes at an alarming rate.”

 “Can you. Just. Make it not happen. Anymore?”

Virgil smirked at him. “Maybe.” He turned around to go back into his office.

“Virgil,” Janus growled following him in.

Virgil just laughed. “What do you want to know about it?” he asked. “Just a fair warning… the song means he… likely was aware someone would steal it.”

“Of course, he was,” Janus groaned.

“But I’m sure we can still get something out of it.” Virgil started tapping at the screen again. “Okay, let’s see. It’s an iPhone 5, and someone jailbroke it.”

“What does that mean?”

“Tampered with it so they could install non-company approved software,” Virgil explained.

“Well I figured that since he was using Google Maps to track time distortions,” Janus grumbled.

 “I think I have something,” Virgil said to himself while digging through his desk. “Ah ha!” He held up some sort of cord. “This will let me hook it up to my integrator.” He slotted the cord into the bottom of the iPhone and then crawled under his desk to fiddle around with some other things. “There we go,” Virgil said popping back up. “It might take a few minutes. Running the program any faster might overheat the phone.”

Janus nodded and sat back to wait. Virgil grabbed the phone and started to play around with it a bit even as it uploaded all of its information to his computer.

“Weird,” Virgil said after a moment.

“What?” Janus asked, sitting up straighter.

“There are exactly two contacts. Fewer than I’d anticipate for a regular phone from the 2010s. More than I would expect from one clearly not being used as a phone.

 Virgil glanced to the side, and it must have finished the download because he unhooked it from the computer. “I have a 21st century phone network adapter,” Virgil said. “It transfers call back to whatever date the phone says. Do you want to try calling one?”

“It’s worth a shot,” Janus replied.

Virgil dug back into his desk for a small device that he plugged into the same port he’d plugged the earlier cord. “Okay, which contact do you want to try first?” he asked. “One has ‘Ro’ with a crown, red heart, and a gold star emoji. The other has “Lo” with a book, blue heart, and Milky Way emoji.”

 “He mentioned a Lo,” Janus said. “So, try him first.”

Virgil nodded. “I’ll put it on speaker.” He pressed some buttons before setting the phone on the desk between them.

The phone rang three times before with a bit of a crackle, it was answered. “Salutations,” a voice said, voice sounding a bit scratchy as though he had only just gotten up.

Virgil motioned with his head for Janus to speak. “Are you ‘Lo’?” he asked.

The man hummed. “To some people.”

Janus… didn’t quite know what to say to that, or even what questions he should ask.

“I’m assuming you’re the man that stole my associate’s phone.”

 “Your associate?” Janus fished.

The man made an amused hum. “I believe you were calling him ‘Pat’ on your last adventure.” Janus could hear something being placed down on the other end of the phone. Before Janus could respond, he heard what sounded like an old keyboard being typed on. “Now,” Lo said. “I have to admit, I am surprised you were willing to oblige me so thoroughly by plugging the phone into your system. Let’s see…”

The screen on Virgil’s lit up bright blue all of a sudden. “…shit,” said Virgil.

“Well,” Lo said, “it seems you were clever enough not to plug it into the TPI system, which is disappointing, but…”

 There was more clicking on the other end. “Hmm, interesting music tastes for the 4000s,” he said.

“I’m an anthropologist,” Virgil spoke up.

“Ah, yes, I can see that,” Lo replied. “Virgil Eran, senior professor at Silver Mountain University, a vetted member of the Cultural Outreach program, and searched the phrase ‘How to eat sushi without making a cultural blunder and making everyone hate you and losing your job because what kind of shit anthropologist doesn’t know how to eat raw fish right’ which you then shortened to ‘How to eat sushi’ and proceeded to search 52 times in the last 48 hours.”

 Virgil went a bit scarlet around the ears. “Dude, did you really have to out me like that?” he hissed at the phone.

“My apologies,” Lo responded. “From my personal experience, don’t dip the rice parts in soy sauce, and don’t add too much wasabi. Overall, most people will be understanding of mistakes, and you will certainly not be fired or ostracized for handling food incorrectly. As long as you are not acting intentionally disrespectful, and I image you will not be considering your clear anxiety over whatever outing you are planning to attend, you will be fine.”

“Okay,” Virgil said. “Good point, but counterpoint, what if you’re wrong and everyone hates me forever?”

 “Is it the lunch meeting today at 11:30am?” Lo asked, “because I can see that a Professor Boris Laden has attended the event multiple years in a row. Considering he is a philosophy instructor, has no Japanese heritage that I can see, and I have found a photo of last year’s event wherein he has placed his chopsticks vertically in his rice, and he has yet to be fired or ostracized, I would postulate that your fears are unfounded.”

“Yeah but… okay, I really don’t have an argument for that one, except maybe I’m a piece of shit and everyone is looking for a reason to hate me.”

“Considering your many impressive accolades in your field, I would argue that ‘a piece of shit’ is not a good descriptor of you. Not to mention the fact that you are often a highly requested member for different committees in your department and outside of it.”

“Oh, but is that because people like me or because I’m an anxious mess and make sure events go off without a hitch?”

“From experience, disorder with people you enjoy the company of is far more tolerable than order with people you do not. Which explains my current living situation and the lack of finished dishes in my sink. Therefore, I would assume the former.”

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“A lot of assumptions,” Virgil commented, but he was smiling slightly.

“Assumptions based on data,” Lo argued back lightly.

“You really came in here, hacked into my computer and smacked my anxiety in the face, huh?”

“Glad to have helped.”

“Y-”

“Are the two of you finished?” Janus interrupted, finally getting sick of the two of them.

“Not nearly,” Lo said. “I have gained access to an entire network of a very large university and will be sorting through the data for a long time.”

“Ugh, right,” Virgil groaned, “and you got access through my integrator.”

“I doubt they’ll be able to trace it back to you if you don’t tell them.”

“Nice try,” Virgil said dryly, “but not likely. I’m telling them about you immediately so they can work to kick you out.”

Lo laughed. “Fair enough, but I’ve already gotten plenty of information at this point. Including the fact that you work with the TPI and scheduled an appointment with an Agent Janus Picani this morning set to start a few minutes before this phone call. So, hello Janus.”

“Bastard,” Janus shot back.

“And goodbye Professor Eran. It was a pleasure.” He hung up.

Virgil sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “This is going to be fun to explain to both of our bosses.”

  Arc II What We Do to Each Other

Chapter 16:

As it would turn out, Janus and Virgil did not get in trouble for hooking up the old phone to Virgil’s integrator, mostly because it wasn’t really a mistake on their part. The phone cleared all virus checks that the tech people both from the university and the TPI ran on it. The phone should have been clean and should not have caused an issue.

In fact, they were still trying to pin down the code on the general university server. They could tell that something was mucking about on the system but what or how was a mystery. This also meant that there was no telling what information had been compromised and considering how many things Silver Mountain had its hands in, that was… a bit worrying.

 Another worrying thing was there was suddenly more activity of late at the TPI. There were more time distortions popping up every day. Usually they would be few and far in between. There had been 3 total recorded the year before, but over 12 in the last week. Some of them were fake like the one Janus had investigated, but some of them were real. It painted a distressing picture and also was a drain on their resources. Khalid was actually looking to advertise positions to hire new recruits which was something she rarely did as she liked to keep appointments to the TPI in house.

 They’d even loosed the number of field agents needed for each mission and Janus and Remus had been splitting up just to get everything done. Today, he and Remus had thankfully only two missions scheduled for the day.

“Are we going together or separate today?” Janus asked Remus.

“Think they’ll burn me at the stake for being a witch if I go alone to either of them?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know. Probably. I think we’re getting a bit late into the 1700s for that in Cuba, but I have no idea about Mesopotamia.”

“Let’s just go together. I did not like almost drowning yesterday because I was the only stranger in town when the weather was going wonky.”

“Surely it isn’t because you opened your mouth. Ever.” Janus said dryly.

“How was I supposed to know he was the local clergyman’s son?”

 Janus rolled his eyes. “On second thought,” he said, pushing a button on his desk to choose Cuba as he next mission, and standing up. “I don’t want you coming with me.” Yet, he did not protest when Remus also signed up for the Cuba mission and he waited for him by the office door before going to talk to Rhi.

Rhi was a bit frazzled when which meant quite a bit as she was usually incredibly put together. Remus didn’t even seem inclined to tease her today.

“Okay,” she said once they’d closed the door behind them. She flipped through some documents on her desk. “Picani and Clockson. Camaguey Cuba 1755. Do you know Cuba?”

 “Uh,” Janus said. “Yeah?”

“Like you’re reading the things, right? I don’t have to babysit you, right? You got it? The Seven Year War was happening, but it won’t affect you much as it hasn’t really hit Cuba. It’s the middle of the Camaguey Carnival. Everyone will be everywhere and there will be chaos so as long as you don’t really fuck up you should be fine. Um…apparent races.” She looked up at them and studied them each for a moment as thought looking at them for the first time despite having known them for years. “It’ll work. Go to costuming.”

“Shouldn’t we…” Janus said, “sign things?”

 “…Yep,” she said, fiddling with her desktop and then sending documents over to their side to sign.

Janus and Remus both did before sending them back.

“Great. Good.” She stood and grabbed some things from behind her. “You can go.” She sat back down as they took their things and Janus noticed a message pop up on her desk. She looked up at Remus looking exhausted. “What?” she asked.

“Just open it,” Remus said.

Rhi tapped it and a photo opened.

“I got her a new mouse toy!” Remus said happily as Rhi looked at the picture of Diesel Fuel attacking a cloth mouse.

“That is… appreciated Agent Clockson,” Rhi said. “Now get out.”

 They did, leaving to get their costumes on and checked. Costuming was just as busy and frazzled as Rhi had been and they actually had to wait for decon because there’d been a mix up with the agents leaving before them. They landed in Cuba without issue. Janus could already hear the festival in full swing outside the small building they’d were in. Remy was standing there with a very not time appropriate mug of coffee.

“Sue me,” Remy said when Janus raised an eyebrow at it. “Please just… get in and out without causing trouble. Seriously. I don’t want to have to deal with that on top of everything else.”

 “We’ll do our best,” Janus assured.

Remy pulled his sunglasses down to look at him. He looked exhausted. “God please do more than your best.”

Janus nodded tightly. “We’ll be in and out,” he said, already glancing at his timepiece. It had been disguised as a golden bracelet which made it a bit harder to actually use, but wrist watches wouldn’t be invented for more than a century, so they’d have to make do. “The time distortion, if that’s what it is, should be in the middle of town. Let’s go.”

He and Remus exited the building onto the packed city street.

 Janus was immediately bombarded with all types of sights, sounds, and smells. There were many colorful articles of clothing and costumes as people went every which way along the street talking to other members of their community, playing instruments, and dancing. There was the sound of people speaking Spanish, still mostly almost pure Castilian Spanish with perhaps a bit of influence from Taino as the Haitian revolution had yet to push the Creole language over to Cuba. People must have been hard at work cooking different dishes for the carnival as many different spices wafted through the air. It was sticky hot considering it was the middle of June in the tropics and Janus was immediately sweating despite the temperature appropriate clothing he’d been outfitted with.

 He glanced around their immediate area, just scoping out the crowds. His eyes were immediately drawn to one person near them.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” he said out loud when he saw Pat. Remus looked in the direction Janus was.

Even if Janus didn’t recognize him the moment he laid eyes on him, he probably still would have ended up staring as he was the only person in the area who clearly did not know how to do the dance he was attempting.

Remus snorted and Janus shook his head in secondhand embarrassment. “Well, would you look whose boyfriend’s here,” he said to Janus. Make that firsthand embarrassment. “Has anyone told him the Mambo wasn’t invented until the 1900s and also that’s not how you do it?”

 Chapter 17

Pat stopped dancing the moment he saw Janus approaching him, but he still bobbed cheerfully ( and unrhythmically) to the music. “Hi Janus,” he said pleasantly.

“You just have to rub it in, huh?”

There was a flash of confusion across his face, but then he smiled. “Well, I know where in our relationship you are. How was France?”

“You’re a bastard.”

“You stole the phone,” he laughed.

“You stole the bomb,” Janus countered, “and you wanted me to steal the phone. You booby trapped it.”

“No,” Pat correct, putting a finger up. “We have security on my phone because in high school I once forgot it in the school locker room and long story short, the three of us ended up in a lake. So, then Lo made sure I always had some sort of tracker on it. When I started time traveling, he updated it and when I met you we updated it again in case there was ever an opportunity like that. Lo calls it using our weaknesses to our advantage.”

 “He’s a bastard too,” Janus growled.

Pat just laughed.

“Is someone talking about me?” Remus asked, stepping over to them. Janus rolled his eyes.

“Oh,” Pat said, blinking at Janus’s partner for a moment. “Remus.” He hesitated slightly. “How are you doing?”

“Me?” Remus asked. “Uh, I’m doing good. A little stressed out with work, but fine.”

“Good,” Pat said with just a little too much heartfulness to it.

“What?” Janus asked, eyes narrowed at Pat. “What is that?”

“What is what?” Pat asked. He met Janus’s eyes briefly and it made panic surge up Janus’s spine because the look Pat was sending him wasn’t one that said he was playing dumb. It was a warning.

 Oh, Janus did not like this. That look told Janus Pat had some foreknowledge that he absolutely could not tell Janus about without messing up the timeline spectacularly. This was why this mess the two of them were mixed up in was so bad, but it seemed Janus did not have much of a choice when it came to Pat.

Despite how bad of an idea he knew it was, he still wanted to push, because whatever Pat was hiding could be very, very bad and it had to do with Remus. There were so many reasons Pat could be acting like that around Remus, but the worst ones were definitely the ones on his mind. Death, injury, illness. They were all possible especially in their line of work and especially with how time was being screwed with right now. And Pat knew. He knew exactly what the answer was, and oh did Janus want to push.

Experience knowing what worse things could come out of having foreknowledge made Janus bite his tongue.

 “So, what are you two doing here,” Pat asked, and Janus unhappily let him change the subject.

“Oh, like you don’t know,” Janus replied.

“I don’t know,” Pat said innocently.

“There’s another time distortion,” Janus said, “and while you didn’t know what it was the last time I saw you, I’m pretty sure you do now.”

“Oh, I didn’t know there was a time distortion here. I can help you if you like,” he offered sweetly.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to see if I could find the Flying Dutchman,” Pat told him.

“And so you went to Camaguey?”

“Uh huh.”

“One of the farthest places from the ocean in Cuba?”

 “Is it?”

“I don’t trust you.”

Pat just shrugged. “Well, if you don’t want my help finding the time distortion, I’ll just be on my way then.”

“Wait,” he said when Pat went to turn away. Pat paused. Janus turned to Remus. “Remus, do you think he’s bullshitting me so I let him wander off and do whatever the hell he’s doing, or do you think he’s bullshitting me into letting him come with us.”

“Hmm,” Remus said, looking Pat up and down. Janus could immediately tell he wasn’t going to get any helpful answer. “Well, if we’re going with the how much do I get to see his, admittedly very sexy, ass criteria.” Janus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Letting him leave now means instant gratification and a nice full image when he turns away. However, letting him go with us means many more opportunities to get a glimpse, but they’d probably just be glimpses. So, yeah that’s a tough call.”

“You didn’t even bother to give me an actual hidden suggestion with that bullshit,” Janus groaned. He glanced at Pat only to see him hiding his very red face in his hands. Janus blinked. “Oh,” he said. “You got him, Remus.” Janus was surprised. He’d expected a bit more tenacity for someone with Pat’s personality. Of course, Janus was used to Remus, so that perhaps had some effect. Pat made a muffled distressed sound behind his hands and Janus raised an eyebrow. “You really got him.”

Pat flapped one hand around while still using the other to completely hide his face. “It’s just. His face. Saying that. Is weird.”

 Janus could not say that he didn’t feel a slight spark of joy at seeing Pat flustered. After all, Pat’s weapon of choice had often been flirting with Janus in the past. However, he still smacked Remus on the shoulder when it looked like he was about to continue with something likely far more inappropriate. “We are here for a reason,” he reminded. He turned to consider Pat and squinted at him. “You’re coming with us, I’ve decided. I don’t want to let you out of my sights. Don’t,” he said empathically turning to Remus as the man opened his mouth once more.

 Pat had mostly recovered, though his cheeks were just a bit pink still. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll go with you. Where do we start?”

Janus glanced at his timepiece. “It’s not showing up on our trackers yet.”

“It messed with your tracker last time,” Pat pointed out.

“I know,” Janus said. “Which means it could be another fake one or whatever is causing it hasn’t started yet. If things start going wrong, but it still doesn’t show on our radar, it’s almost certainly a fake one, but some of the fake ones haven’t blocked our technology.”

“Here, I can check,” Pat said.

“Please don’t pull out an iPhone,” Janus begged.

 Pat stuck out his tongue at him, and then smiled. He reached for the bracelet on his wrist and twisted it back and forth a few times before pressing his palms together. He glanced around them quickly to make sure no one around them was watching and then peeled apart his palms like he was miming reading a book.

“What the fuck is that, and how do I get one?” Remus asked immediately. It was innocuous, whatever it was. If someone from this time caught a glimpse of the display, they’d likely assume it was a trick of the light, but staring right at it, Janus could tell it was a map of the surrounding areas with a softly glowing blue light marking their current location. Janus could see no screen or origin of a hologram. It looked like the image was drawn onto the man’s palms, but as he watched, the image shifted to zoom out.

 “There doesn’t seem to be anything major yet,” Pat said wiggling his fingers a bit. The display changed slightly to some sort of colorful overlay Janus did not understand. Pat hummed. “Did you two come from that building recently?” he asked nodding at it.

“Yes,” Janus replied. “How do you know?”

“There’s sometimes a slight temperature change when people time travel,” Pat explained. “I can read it on here.” He tilted his head. “There also seems to be a big enough temperature change in a church a few blocks away that could indicate time travel. Want to check it out?”

“We might as well,” Janus agreed.

“And if it’s nothing, we can get drunk on the communion wine!”

“He’s going to get immediately struck by lightning,” Janus said.

 Chapter 18

“If we see anyone,” Janus said as they entered the church. “You keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me? Remus, do you understand me?”

Remus immediately turned to Pat. “You know, I didn’t grow up Catholic,” he said to Pat who looked at him in confusion. “So the first time I ever entered a Catholic church, you can’t blame me for being a little confused about the whole cabinet thing with a wall between them. After all, everyone was singing about glory to god and what not. So I…”

Janus slapped him. “This is why you were almost burned at the stake yesterday.”

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“Excuse you,” Remus said, putting his hand over his heart. “I was almost drowned.”

“You were almost drowned?” Pat asked, his voice seeming legitimately distressed.

Remus shrugged a smile on his face that caused a Pavlovian migraine to start up behind Janus’s eyes. “It’s one of the hazards of the jobs, and really it would have all been worth it if I’d actually gotten to drown in that man’s…”

“We’re in a church!” Janus cut him off switching from Spanish to Swahili in the hopes that no random passersby would be able to understand him in this time and place. “Don’t talk about lewd sex things. Don’t talk about sex at all. It’s a Catholic church!”

  Remus continued to speak in Spanish with no regard for anything. “But not talking about lewd sex things takes away 3/4ths of my personality,” he pouted.

“More like 9/10th,” Janus grumbled, “and the other 1/10th is just normal stupid.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t be mean,” Pat scolded, in fucking English for some reason, “but Remus, honey, you probably shouldn’t be saying things like that right now.”

“No, no, he has a point,” Remus said switching to English.

“He’s my partner, I have the right to call him stupid,” Janus insisted.

“And I love you too!” Remus said in Greek because he was really, truly, stupid.

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Pat looked between the two, but then seemed to accept it, dropping the concerned expression for a slightly amused one. “If you say so.”

“Can I… help you?” A voice asked. All three of them whipped around to see a young boy looking at them and seeming very confused. Which was fair considering that to his ears, they’d just been speaking nonsense.

“We’re here to pray!” Remus claimed, then he turned to wink at Pat and said under his breath in Swahili, “to that ass.” Pat went immediately bright red again, which was doubtlessly Remus’s aim. Janus subtlety stepped on his foot while smiling at the boy.

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“Oh,” the boy said. “Okay.” Thankfully, he didn’t seem interested in questioning the random strangers in front of him further. “I’m going to go back to the celebration now.”

Janus smiled at him. “Have fun,” he said. He waited for the boy to leave through the front door before slapping Remus on the back of the head.

“Ow!” he whined sounding far too pained for how hard Janus had actually hit him.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Let’s just start investigating,” he said.

“Sure, sure, you never let me have any fun,” Remus said, pulling up his wrist and spinning the golden bracelets on his arm. “Hmm…” he said.

[death-himself]

How I Met Your Father

Part of the Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist AU!

Summary: Virgil's dad decides to come over to meet Virgil's soulmates. Who knew he'd have a story about his own run-in with a beautiful naga

Warnings: Talk of eating people

Word Count: 1,713

Previous Next (AO3 Link)

Virgil bit at his thumbnail as he mentally went through their plan. His dad was finally coming over and meeting his boyfriends. Virgil had realized that this would happen eventually, but he had never really planned for it. Patton rubbed gentle circles into his back.

“It’s gonna be alright, sweetheart. I’m sure he’ll understand.” Virgil wiped down the kitchen counters a second time, not taking his eyes away from his work.

“Everyone knows the plan, right?”

“Yup! I’m sure it’ll work out fine. The night’ll end with us all eating dinner around the table having a pleasant conversation, hopefully without him being scared of any of us.” Virgil took a deep breath.

“We’re not telling him about the cannibalism, right?”

“No human-eating talk!” Patton confirmed cheerily.

“Cool.” Virgil took a final glance around the kitchen, deeming it clean enough, before double-checking the fridge to make sure no one had crammed any body parts in there. Patton could still feel the anxiety in his stiff movements and slightly trembling hands. Once Virgil closed the fridge, Patton gently wrapped his arms around his shoulders, nuzzling into his back.

“If things don’t go well, I could wipe his memory of it and we could try again some other time. Only if you were okay with that, though.” Virgil hummed, enjoying the feeling of Patton’s cold arms wrapped around him. He didn’t like the idea of Patton mind-controlling anyone, much less his own dad. But in this case...

“We’ll keep that idea on hold.” Just in case he destroyed his relationship with this. Patton smiled, laying a kiss on Virgil’s back. He pulled away and checked the time.

“Your dad said four o’clock, right? He should be here soon.”

“Oh crap.” Virgil ran down the hall, nearly running into Logan as he swung the bedroom door open. Janus and Roman were already lying there, painting each other’s nails. Janus jumped slightly at Virgil’s entrance, looking him up and down for a moment before going back to what he was doing.

“Did you need to grab something before your father got here?”

“Just...wanted to check on you guys.” Virgil walked over to the bed, shoving a part of Janus’s tail out of the way before taking a seat. “You guys are gonna be quiet, right?”

“You act like that’s hard for us to do.” Roman spoke. Virgil stared at him until he noticed, causing him to huff in an annoyed fashion. “Okay, fair point. But we’ll try our best! We don’t want to ruin what you have.”

“You told your brother about this, right? He won’t be crashing through the window like he does pretty much every Friday night?”

“I told him, Emile’s keeping him distracted.” Virgil nodded to himself, trying to think of anything he might be missing. Janus put a hand on Virgil’s cheek.

“It’s going to be fine. This will work out. You, Logan, and I came up with the plan ourselves, so the chances of it going wrong aren’t very likely.”

“Well that’s optimistic.” Virgil mumbled. There was a knock on the door, causing Virgil to bolt up off the bed. “Alright, well...just stay quiet in here. I’ll call you guys in when he’s ready.” He practically ran out the door. Patton had already opened the front door, welcoming and introducing himself to Virgil’s father.

Virgil skidded to a stop once he got to the living room, giving his dad an awkward smile and wave, glancing quickly at Patton to make sure he had donned his human disguise.

“Pretty nice place you found here, Vee. Next to a forest too, huh?” Virgil’s dad spoke as he took a look around.

“Yeah. Good for photography and plants and stuff.” He didn’t want to mention the drider cave in walking distance from his home.

“Well, that suits you alright.” Logan came in in his human form, introducing himself to the father. They had all sat down around the coffee table, allowing Virgil’s dad to get to know them a bit before revealing anything to him. By the time he had been there for a full hour and Logan had begun making dinner, Virgil decided it was time to spill.

“So, uh...dad, about my soulmates—” He gestured awkwardly to Patton and Logan, “—they’re not exactly human.” Virgil’s father stared blankly, his mind seeming to have malfunctioned. Patton glanced at Virgil nervously, before shedding his human disguise.

“Mr. Sanders, I know this is probably really weird and scary, and maybe difficult to understand, but I’m a vampire, and Logan’s a ghoul.”

“We are not planning on eating your son if you have concerns about that.” Logan added. Virgil’s dad nodded slowly, glancing between the two.

“Huh.” He thought for a moment. “So are you two dead, or did you come to life or—”

“We were kinda born like this.” Patton answered. “Our parents and siblings are vampires and ghouls, too.”

“Okay...so what about your other soulmates? Where are they, actually?” Virgil furrowed his brow, confused at how calmly he was taking this.

“They’re in the bedroom. I could have them come out if you wanna meet them.” His dad nodded eagerly, only adding to Virgil’s confusion as he ran to the bedroom to call them out.

His father’s eyes passed right over Roman, only to land on Janus, staring with a somewhat nostalgic look in his eyes. “A naga, huh?” He chuckled to himself. “What, does seducing snakes run in the family?”

“I’m sorry, what?” His dad’s smile widened as he seemed to prepare himself to tell a story he had been waiting his whole life to tell.

“Son, did I ever tell you how I met your mother?”

“If you end this by saying I’m half naga or something, I swear to god.” Virgil returned to the couch, Roman and Janus taking their seats right next to him.

“Oh no, don’t worry, you’re completely human. You do technically have a couple adopted naga siblings, though.” The father seemed to relish in Virgil’s confusion, as he wouldn’t continue until Virgil demanded for him to explain what the hell he meant.

“You see, bud, back in college I stumbled into the woods and ran into this really beautiful naga named Medea. Long red hair, bright yellow eyes, blood dripping from her mouth, the works. And she was holding these four naga eggs and wasn’t really able to do anything while protecting them, so I just decided to try and help her out.” He sighed, his eyes glazed over as he reminisced.

“Yeah, I almost died, it was kinda hot. We got to talking after that and eventually she trusted me enough to watch her eggs while she went hunting for whatever she ate. We kinda hit it off and were a thing all throughout college, but then when college was over I had to move out of my dorm. I asked her and the kids to come with me to a new home, but she just didn’t want to.” He scanned over Janus for a moment, smirking to himself before continuing.

“She wanted me to live in her cave, and I wasn’t really comfortable with that. So, she got upset and started trying to kidnap me, and that was kind of the turn off. Had to sneak out at night to stay with a friend and her roommate a few miles away. And then when I got there, I introduced myself to her roommate, a simple “Hey I’m Toby, good to meet ya,” we shook hands, and that’s when we realized we were soulmates.”

He ended the story with a pat on Virgil’s knee and a proud smile. “And that’s how I met your mother. Well, one of your mothers; your other mom was a barista at a coffee shop.” They all stared at him with wide eyes, seeming to still be processing the whole “kidnapping” part.

“Dad, what the fuck?”

“Yeah.” His dad said with a sigh. “I try to stay out of Alabama just in case Medea’s still looking for me.” Janus took a deep breath, nodding and accepting that this was truly what he had just heard.

“Well, Mr. Sanders, I can assure you that I’m nothing like this Medea. I would never do that to Virgil.”

“You tried to make me stay in your cave when we first started dating.” Janus sent Virgil a glare before forcing on a calm face.

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t try to kidnap you.”

“Well...”

“Shut up, that was one time.” Janus hissed. Patton cleared his throat.

“So does this mean you’re okay with us dating?”

“Oh hell yeah, go ahead.”

“Wait, seriously?” Virgil asked. “I kept our relationship a secret for almost a whole year only to find out I could’ve told you about it right away?” His dad shrugged.

“And who’s fault is that really?”

“Dad, they kill people!”

“I’m fine with that, and it looks like you are, too.” The timer for the oven went off and Logan went to take care of it while Virgil tried to think of a comeback. Soon enough the six were having a casual discussion over dinner, and all was well.

That night as they all laid in bed, Virgil stared up at the ceiling blankly. “What do you think my moms are gonna think of this?”

“Wait, they aren’t dead?” Roman mumbled, already half-asleep.

“No, they were working tonight.”

“Well, your dad will probably tell them all about us, and that will confuse them quite a bit.” Logan answered.

“I wonder if he ever told them about Medea.” Patton questioned, running a hand across Janus’s tail.

“Probably not, so...your mothers are in for quite the confusing night, Virgil.” Janus smirked. Virgil couldn’t even imagine having to explain both his dad’s past relationship with a naga and his current relationship with four creatures his moms probably weren’t even aware existed at the same time.

He smirked, admittedly kind of pleased to imagine what his dad was probably going through right about now. “Good. Well, goodnight. Love you guys.” Patton hummed happily, curling up closer to him. With a chorus of various different love yous thrown around, the five drifted off slowly to sleep, Virgil feeling as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

[sanders-sides-fic]

There is no nice deathworlders! (Right?) [Chapter 3]

AU-masterpost: here

Virgil had been outside for hours now. He’d left the cage for two reasons, one of them being that he didn’t want to freak the creathen out even further. He had been able to tell that he didn’t want to be close to Virgil and Virgil couldn’t even blame him.

However, after being outside for so long, he started to wonder. Was the creathen safe? If he’d cut his bindings somehow and escaped, well, good for him. Now that his skin was healed up enough for him to be conscious again the alien would probably be fine. But what if something had crept up into the cave and attacked him? He wasn’t really able to fight, Virgil had made sure of that. For his own safety, because he doubted that the creathen would have let him talk.

Not that he had even been able to do so earlier. Virgil was still frustrated by that, but he was pretty happy that the creathen had understood what Virgil wanted to communicate in the end.

Still. If anyone or anything would attack the creathen now he’d probably die and it’d be Virgil’s fault. The longer he was gone, the worse the anxiety got. But if he didn’t search, he wouldn’t be able to find Janus and he wouldn’t be able to safe any other potentially hurt crew members of his new acquaintance. He also doubted that the creathen wanted his protection. Or realize that that was what it was. Judging from the reactions he had gotten so far for being a human, he’d probably just assume Virgil had come to kill him and/or fry him in a cauldron.

Then again, he hadn’t slept last night and this night was almost over as well. The storm had cleared up enough to see some of the stars as well. Maybe Virgil could just sleep outside the cage and make sure the creathen was safe? He did need sleep. He had a feeling that the days on this planet were shorter than back on earth, but he was tired nonetheless. Really tired. He’d be anxious to get here, so he hadn’t been able to sleep before coming to this planet.

Disappointedly, Virgil turned around with a sigh. Well, maybe he would have better luck tomorrow. Maybe. But probably not. It had been stupid to get his hopes up, really. After all, there had only been rumors of a human being here. And those rumors had only been of a human screaming. Not many aliens actually knew what a human scream sounded like, so there was a high chance it was just that: a rumor. But it had been his first lead in ages! He couldn’t just not hope.

When he got back to the cave, he could hear the creathen talk. At first he thought someone had found them, but it turned out to be the same self-talking habits he had tended to when Virgil had first spotted him.

“You know, Remus, you should really wake up.”, he said with a sigh. “You’re missing out on all the action. You always said how you wanted to get to know a deathworlder, right? And now we’re trapped by one. They could come back any moment now. Come on, you crazy shit. I need your help right now. And… I miss you…” The creathen’s voice broke at that last statement. Or the creath’s voice, Virgil guessed. It almost sounded like the second creath inside the creathen’s body had yet to grow conscious again. That was… Well, it definitely wasn’t good. Virgil knew that much, even if he didn’t know anything else.

Remus was the unconscious creath’s name, huh? Virgil felt bad for Remus’s twin. It sounded as though he was suffering without his twin’s support. There wasn’t much Virgil could do about it, though. At least not that he knew about and he doubted the creath would just ask him for help. So he sat down with another sigh. He didn’t enter the cave and he didn’t listen to what else Remus’s brother said to Remus. It felt as though he’d be intruding on a very personal moment.

So, instead he looked up to the stars. They were so similar to what stars looked like on earth, just in other constellations. And clearer. Virgil supposed light pollution wasn’t really a thing on ZH-8. It wasn’t on most planets.

When they had just escaped the smuggler’s ship, Virgil and Janus had played star-guessing. It was basically like cloud guessing. They would form their own constellations and name them. Not the way they had been named on earth, no, they would give them names that actually fitted how they looked. Virgil’s all time favorite was still “the drunken dwarf” that Janus had spotted on a planet called GK-9J6. And every time they had ended with guessing which star up there was the sun, or wether they could even see the sun at all. It wasn’t a very strong or bright star, Virgil had understood that pretty early on.

Virgil hadn’t played anymore since Janus disappeared. So far that rumor had been the only true one about them. That Janus had been lost in a smoke storm on a planet close by. He knew the aliens around here just used it as a horror story or to warn their young of the dangers of the deathworlders. Because Virgil was so dangerous with his social anxiety, selective mutism and terrible orientation. Yes, truly the attributes of a vicious killer who would stalk his pray to the ends of the galaxy. Absolutely.

He sometimes wondered how some of the rumors had started at all. One time, when he had been disguised on a market far far away from here, there had even been a rumor that included how “no one ever lived to tale the tale”. But how the hell did they think those stories were from then?! It was just plain stupid. And neither he nor Janus would ever kill children for the fun of it in front of their tied up parents. That was just horrible! Not even Janus lied like that. But, whatever. It wasn’t as though he could do anything about it. And back on earth people had been gossiping about the strange, edgy teenager as well. So he was used to it.

Looking back up, he suddenly saw a bunch of stars that looked like the head of a snake. A small grin appeared on his lips at that. He would call this constellation “Janus’s true form”. That was the last thought that crossed his mind before he fell asleep.

…

A man in a black suit entered the strange room they put Virgil in. How long had he been in here? He had hoped those evil fucks would just leave him alone after he injured that other… thing. It had ben hauntingly easy to do so, too. Virgil still wasn’t over it.

He guessed that being left alone had been wishful thinking after all, as he stood up slowly. His black hoody was sipped up, hiding the purple tee underneath. But that didn’t help much in the white room. Those fucks couldn’t see properly, Virgil guessed, so it worked for them. But this man, this human, wouldn’t be bothered by a little bit of shadows. He knew that.

Virgil tried to speak to the man in the suit, but it didn’t work. Apparently his meds didn’t work anymore. With an annoyed huff, he decided to settle for a glare when he couldn’t demand answers. The man smiled and it was an empty, friendly, polite, pleasant smile. The kind you would see on posters right before a vote or on those big galas his dad threw or equally stupid stuff like that. It annoyed Virgil even further. What the hell?

“Hello”, the man said in a very calm, smooth voice. It was like vanilla ice cream. Virgil didn’t like it one bit. “I hope you can speak my language?”, the man continued to talk. The answer was easy, even without talking. But should Virgil answer? It was the first person that spoke his language and he still didn’t know what the fuck was going on. And he had been told to build report with kidnappers so they would see him as a person instead of a thing and not kill him. Not dying sounded like a good plan. So, after a moment’s notice, Virgil nodded once.

The man’s disgusting smile deepened. “Splendid. Now, I am going to tell you what our… predicament here is and I hope you believe me. Don’t worry, they can’t understand what I am telling you. I would like it very much if you could put on your acting face too, so they don’t get suspicious. Can you do that?”

Virgil nodded again. The man nodded back. And neither did his smile falter nor did it leave his voice, even when he started to explain: “I know this might sound crazy, but we have been abducted. By aliens. This is an illegal smuggler ship and we will most likely die soon.”

What. The. Hell?!

It was really hard not to show his shock or fear right now. Instead, Virgil pulled his arms around himself in a tight hug and pressed his lips together. He hoped he looked more angry than scared, though.

“You’re doing great, darling. Now, I managed to get onto somewhat friendly terms with those squalid fucks. That’s why they put me here. I’m supposed to calm you down and make you obedient or something the like. They trust me. Not entirely, but a little.” Ah, great. Fucking perfect! So this man was with them, then. Shit!

But the man didn’t stop there. As though he understood Virgil’s unease, his smile deepened and he let out a polite little chuckle: “I know this is a fucked situation and we both don’t want to be here. So I want to propose using their trust, shoving it down their throats, make them suffocate on it and ripping out their vital organs until they regret ever even thinking about taking either of us. I’ve had quite some time here and I have a somewhat good plan, but I can’t pull it off alone. I don’t know about you but I, for one, don’t want to die in some dump after they are through with me or get soled as a slave to another species. Believe me, humans aren’t well liked around here. Bad reputation. Ah! It’s the worst.” He chuckled again.

Virgil could only stare at him in disbelieve. That guy was crazy. This man had lost it. Whatever those things did to him, he was a goner now. And still the only hope Virgil had. God, he was screwed. However, the man was right. He didn’t want either of those options happening to him either. Not to anyone, actually. So Virgil gave the man another tight-lipped nod.

“Oh, thank god! I was worried you wouldn’t let me. My name is Janus. Janus Serpent. And you are…?”, the man chuckled. And looked at Virgil expectantly. Great. How did you talk again? Virgil opened his mouth, trining to say something, but could only close it in the end. He shook his head frustratedly.

“Oh! Are you mute, darling?”

Well… Not quite. But it was as close as the man would probably get. So Virgil raised his hand and shook it in an so-so motion. Janus nodded.

“I see. Hm… Do you know ASL by any chance?”

Virgil nodded. Yes! Yes, he did. He had learned it because someone suggested it might help. It wasn’t really a solution, but it was easier than using his voice. So Virgil raised his hand and started spelling out his name.

“V-I-R-G-I-L-F-E-L-I-N-E…? Uhm…Virgil Feline? Is that you? Wait, so you are the son of that CAO?”

Fuck. So Janus had heard of him before. Damnit! Did he even want to work with Virgil now? After all, the news had been full of those petty “crimes” for years now. But that wouldn’t keep Janus from escaping together, right? He’d said he needed the help, right?

“Perfect.”, Janus smiled to Virgil’s surprise, “Then you will understand a lot more of what I’m about to tell you. I heard you like to sneak around. That might just come in handy…”

The creath inside the cave woke up from a sound outside the next morning. It was almost as though something was in pain. Was the deathworlder back? Had they tortured an innocent being? God, he wished he had Remus to talk to!

Roman took a look towards his bindings. He’d tried to cut them with the scale on his tale, but it was made more for poking than cutting, so he’d only managed one of the many times it had been wrapped around his wrists before it had hurt too much to go on. What would the deathworlder do when they found out, that Roman had tried to disobey them and flee? He shuddered at the thought.

Another sound captured Roman’s attention. It really was the deathworlder. Roman could see them in the little light entering the cave from outside. He really wished for Logan’s night vision right about now… Something was strange, though. Aside from the mud all over them, there was water on their face. What…? But the storm had long since been gone. Where did that come from? What did it mean?

The otherworldly predator decided to sit down across from Roman, an empty look on their face. Their eyes looked at Roman, but it felt more as though they looked through him.

Maybe he shouldn’t have given up on freeing himself yesterday after all. He doubted that look was a good one…

Taglist 💜:

 @the-ultimate-a @bunny222 

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

I've been writing this since 2AM, and may be 4:35 AM right now, but it doesn't change the fact I want a mashup of Jester's Tear - Celestial Aeon Project and Mysterious Paths - Marco Belloni.

... Yes, those are Virgil's and Janus' themes, no, I'm not a shipper. What about it?

Jokes aside - no pun intended - I personally think it'd be a badass and bittersweet theme.

We don't know what else Janus can do, and Virgil's past is really catching up to him, and it's gonna have consequences, Janus is just the first one of the consequences.

And then I noticed the parallels and everything went downhill XD. Basically, long post, if you don't wanna read it, it's fine!

Name reveals:

We could assume that Janus and Virgil were close enough to share their names, while the others apparently didn't. For 25-30 years.

V: Guys, he's a liar! You literally know him as Deceit!

J: Glass houses, Virgil... You yourself said you're not a beacon of truth.

V: Yeah, because I'm wrong a lot.

J: Oh, so you've never been reluctant to share anything with the group, then?

V: Don't...

J: What? I just meant your name.

V: DON'T!

Also, noticed that even their names have a parallel, in and out-universe?

My name is Virgil! Okay, it's like a bandaid, you just gotta rip it off!

I don't have a simple answer to that question... but here's a start... My name... My name is Janus.

In-verse parallel:

Virgil:

Wasn't exactly... Loved by the rest of the Core Four at first, but as time went on, they started to trust him more and more, so they knew that he didn't truly harm them.

Built up a bond with Logan, Roman and Patton even before they fully accepted him. He's proved to Logan he can be really intelligent, he finds Patton pretty cool, and Roman isn't actually a person he hates - they're just prideful and stubborn.

Revealed his name to people who he had mutual trust, all were accepting, and despite being laughed at first, the one who laughed did regret it afterwards.

Janus

Isn't trusted, with good reason: He disguises into other Sides time and time again, he manipulated one of them. He's secretive, withholding.

Toyed with Roman's insecurities, pretended to be Patton and Logan (twice!) who he was willing to drag by the neck with a Vaudeville cane. Basically, he broke a possible bond with Roman (who already had a weak ego), made Logan feel way less wanted by his friends, and Patton isn't even trusting him, he just offered a seat at the table.

No one actually prepared for his reveal, one of the Sides sank out before, and the same one who laughed had good reason to do so. Even Thomas didn't trust him.

Virgil was already trusted before his name reveal, but Janus used his name to gain their trust.

Out-Verse Parallel:

Virgil is the name of a Roman poet, and the name brings up the word "vigilant"... Or a character of the same name who guided Dante through the nine circles of Hell in Dante's Inferno. And added bonus? It means Staff Bearer. And isn't Janus the one who has a staff?

Janus is the name of the Two-Faced Roman God of duality, transitions, changes, archways and time... Kinda reflects on the character development that Virgil has since Season one. And it includes archway? Back to Dante's Inferno.

Mysterious past?

We also can assume that they had a really bad fight, and Janus is the main reason why Virgil is so wary of the Others:

Do not allow him or any of... His friends to stick around that long ever again!

- Virgil, Selfishness vs. Selflessness (Part 1)

He phrases it as if Janus is just the gatekeeper, but he's still the main concern. Maybe he learned something Janus never bothered to share with him? Something crucial?

And one thing I remember? Of all of the Core Four, the one who,has more hesitation to shapeshift is Virgil, and we know this since Season 1!

Remember Making More Changes? You might argue that's because the rest changed him against his violation... But then you realize that he was hesitant changed into a puppet in LNTAO, before saying that he'd do it if it helped! And it might be a stretch, but even changing clothes bothers him! In 12 Days of Christmas and SvS Part 1!

Now, who's the Side that specializes in disguises, trickery, changes and impersonating others?

Maybe an incident happened that involved Janus impersonating him to hide a crucial secret, and Virgil found out?

Common goal, different stance:

A funny thing about both Anxiety and Deceit is that they're so different, yet they work for the same thing: Defense.

Virgil is the social anxiety, obviously. He's fight or flight response, so we assume he's the main defense mechanism. But, as shown in FWSA, he's also willing to shove it down for the sake of Thomas' hopes and dreams, even in the risk of things going wrong! However, he's still heightened, social anxiety. He's prone to panic attacks, recklessness, and can be blunt and sometimes, insensitive. He lays down general worst-case scenarios.

Janus doesn't care for who's hurt, as long as he's listen to. He's defense in the form of aloofness, apathy, brutal honesty (ironically), egoism, he doesn't back down. Imagine how different FWSA would have gone with him! However, he points out that being selfish isn't bad, and his grey view of the world balances out the optimistic nature of the others. He sets out personal worst-case scenarios, which are more realistic.

The thing they have in common, however? They're both acting on Thomas' sake. They only want him to be able to defend himself from the bad things in the world.

Conclusion/TLDR:

As much as they hate each other's guts, they're way more alike than they'd like to admit. Virgil is a contrast to Janus because, while he hates change, he's the character that developed more, while Janus isn't willing to. And that might be a clue to what happened between them. They're also looking out for Thomas in similar, yet different ways, and it does have pros and cons.

...

... This all started because I wanted to say I wanted a mash-up version of their themes, but the point still stands!

Something is building up in arcs. Mysterious past, a common trait, a secret that involves who they are down to their names, even their name reveals!

Anyways, I'm truly excited for the next time we see those two interact, and I want to know what happen to them as much as I want to see the next Side, and that's why I wanna see a theme mashup: It can be a final argument between them, or a sign that they're putting their differences aside and start over!

Anyways, I hope you have a good day, or night, if that's the time,for you right now! Thanks for reading!

ILY, and Peace Out!

[deceit-official]

Janus Playlist Analysis

Here’s my final analysis of every song, more thought was put into some than others based purely on how much I had to say. I honestly loved them all.

“Black Hole Sun”: Snake imagery  👀  “In disguises no one knows Hides the face, lies the snake” is such a perfect description of Janus it’s a great opener for the playlist.

“It Seemed the Better Way”: Chalk full of religious references, a definite reference to how much Catholicism has formed Thomas’s worldview. The truth isn’t always what it seems

“Anywhere”: “It’s a beautiful world if you’ve been lied to” Really shows how little Janus trusts the world and how he wants to make Thomas aware so he can protect himself. In other words, the blindfold off.

“Talking at the Same Time”: The world is great for the rich and sucks for everyone else and thems the facts of life. Janus wants Thomas to stop lying to himself about how the world really is.

“all the good girls go to hell”: First of all, THE RELIGIOUS IMAGERY IS BACK. Second of all, works perfectly with Janus’s view of “sometimes you have to do bad things to do what’s best for yourself”.

“Denial”: This song ties right into Janus telling Thomas he’s making decisions with a blindfold on.“Don’t just shut your eyes closed”: OPEN YOUR EYES THOMAS.“Don’t just shut your eyes closed. Not until I get it off my chest”: He just want’s to be heard, which makes sense why he was so happy that he didn’t get pushed away in this latest video by Thomas and Patton

“Trust in Me”: First of all, snake imagery obviously. Second of all, Janus feels like he needs to trick and convince people to listen and trust him, otherwise nobody would ever listen to him. Thus, why he constantly disguises himself in order to give his opinion.

“Razzle Dazzle”: Perfect explanation for Janus’s whole “extra aesthetic”. If he’s grandiose, nobody will pay attention to what he’s really saying and whether it’s true or not. I love this song and I can’t believe how well it works for Janus.

“When the Chips Are Down”:  A song all about how, at the end of the day, it’s every person for themselves and everyone will act in their own self-interest. The perfect embodiment of Janus’s character and if his character had to be narrowed down to just one song, it would be this one

“Mandy Goes to Med School”: here’s my full post. In short, Janus knows that sometimes you have to hide what you’re doing to help yourself, just like Mandy does.

“I Put a Spell on You”: Janus just wants Thomas to believe he wants what’s best for him.“I can’t stand it cause you put me down” It hurts to constantly get pushed from the discussion and be constantly portrayed as the villain.

“Evil Night Together”: Honestly this is just a very sexy song and made me fall a little bit more in love with Janus. This could, perhaps, be about Janus wanting the other “dark sides” to not leave him and stick with him (specifically Virgil). Fits perfectly with his “villain” persona.

“Cabaret: Don’t Tell Mama”: I have two interpretations of this song. First, Patton is Mama. Patton doesn’t know everything he’s doing to help Thomas, but knows he won’t approve if he does. So “don’t tell mama.” Alternatively: Thomas is Mama. This song is pre-CLBG. Deceit is keeping himself and all the “dark” sides from him and won’t let any of the other sides reveal them.

“You’re a Cad”: I feel like this is Janus @ Virgil. He “knows the truth”. “What’s the point pretending that you could be a better man. Just give in, since you always end up right back where you began” and “You’re a rascal and a rove, a villain and a crook”. This is a very similar train of thought to Remus telling Virgil he can never stop being the bad guy. Virigl will always be one of the “dark” sides and he can’t escape it just by pretending to be a light side. Janus just wants him to come back and be who he truly is.

“As Far as I Can See”: Pure angst, ya’ll. “As far as I can see, nobody loves me.” “As far as I can see, nobody’s listening,” “…when I’m crying out nobody cries back for me.” Deep down, he just wants people to listen to him and love him.

“Criminal”: Janus acceptance arc! “Cause I’m feelin’ like a criminal and I need to be redeemed” He wants to “be redeemed.” “I’ve got to cleanse myself of all these lies til I’m good enough for him.” He’s willing to tell the truth, something he never does, if it makes Thomas accept him so that he’ll actually listen to his advice.

“Change”: Now we’re getting into Janus’s mindset for his acceptance arc. He can feel the dynamic is shifting and he has to change with it.“Change is a powerful thing. I feel it coming in me. Maybe by the time this song is done I’ll be able to be honest.” That is the biggest sign of change. He’s willing to go against his very purpose and be honest. Things are changing and if it means he can keep Thomas safe, he’s willing to change with it.

“Devil in the Details”: Janus is torn. Does he trust the “light” sides and Thomas? Should he be vulnerable? Or keep protecting himself with lies? “Well I made amends in the general sense, but the devils in the details.” Sure, they said they’d listen to him, but they didn’t really get to have a deep talk because Thomas’s mental health was so poor. Will the trust hold up when he’s not so urgently needed? “I am the first one I deceive, if I can make myself believe the rest is easy” He can convince the others to trust him easily. The first step is convincing himself. Once he himself believes he can trust each other, then they can move forward. But he’s not quite sure yet, especially after Roman broke his trust by laughing at his name. Maybe it would be easier to just go back?

“Come Little Children”: A couple interpretations here. One is he’s trying to bring Virgil back to the “dark side”. The second is this is to Character Thomas and the other sides. “I'll show thee the way through all the pain and the sorrows.” If they just listened to him, he could do his best to protect them as much as he can.

“Into the Unknown”: This is the one I’m probably the most unsure about. It seems like Janus is very unsure about what is to come. He wants to be accepted, but he doesn’t know what will happen next. Thomas needs him, though. “If dreams can't come true then why not pretend?” “Of golden  memories the loveliest lies of all.” The song is laced with mentions of lying. He is a a part of Thomas in every way, from being able to act and “pretend” to perhaps making past memories better than they actually were. Thomas needs him, but the future remains uncertain for Janus’s place in the system.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Reflecting Light

Chapter Three:

Roman had never really left the base before.  Sure, he’d gone on missions before, but he hadn’t ever been in an actual town, and the one with all the night missions was Remus.  All of this meant that Roman wasn’t really sure how to act around these people.

He’d decided after the third staring person to just stick close to Shane, no matter how irritated it made him.  He therefore spent most of the morning watching from behind as Shane talked to shoppers and shop owners about whether or not they had seen Roman.

It was after Shane left the sixth shop with no information looking more than a little irritated that Roman finally made some progress himself.

“No one’s gonna tell you.”

Roman turned and found himself face to face with a girl who looked about eight.  “What?”

“No one knows.  And no one’s gonna tell you even if they did.  They don’t like you guys.”

“Rosey!” a woman called desperately, running for the girl from a little ways away by a garden and pulling her back.  “What have I told you about talking to the guards?”  The woman looked up at him.  “I am so sorry… sir.”

Roman raised an eyebrow.  This woman looked like she was ten years older than him at least, she didn’t have to call him sir.  He considered a second before waving the matter off, and the woman pulled Rosey back over to the garden and crouched down, clearly giving her daughter a talking to.

Roman looked at them for another moment before he walked away, considering what she said.  He looked for where Shane had gone and couldn’t find it anywhere.

Roman bit his lip and thought for another second.  He looked down at his uniform and frowned.  After a second, he pulled Patton’s cat hoodie out of his backpack and pulled it on, making sure to cover the insignia that declared him as part of The Light.

He walked a couple steps to a nearby alleyway and headed down to a different street that looked like a marketplace.  He headed up to the first booth he saw.  “Hi.”

The man inside looked up and smiled at him.  Woah, that was the first time anyone had done that so far.  “Well, hello there.  Would you like some bread today?”

“Oh, I’m not here to shop, I’m just looking for my brother,” Roman said.  “He seems to have vanished overnight.  He looks like me, like exactly?  We’re identical twins.  You wouldn’t happen to have seen him, would you?”

The man gave him a sympathetic smile.  “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I haven’t.  If you want better luck, I would try the help booth down at the other end of the marketplace.  It’s specifically for tourists, if someone saw your brother, they’d know.”

“Thanks,” Roman said, deciding to ignore the insane fact that people actually came to this town as tourists.  He headed over to the booth the man pointed out and waited as a group in front of him finished their conversation.  As they walked off, Roman stepped forward and was met with an old woman smiling at him.

“Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

“I’m trying to find my brother,” Roman said.  “He disappeared last night, and the last time someone saw him was in this town.”

“Do you not live here?” the woman asked in confusion.

“We live in the next town over,” Roman lied.  “I’m just worried something happened to him.”

“Oh, poor dear, I’ll see what we have.  What does your brother look like?”

“We’re identical twins.”

The woman nodded a little and pulled out a notebook that she flipped to the end of.  “Oh!  Your brother’s in the rebellion?” she asked in surprise, looking up a second later.

Roman took a step back.  “Excuse me?”

“Well, I have one account of someone saying they saw someone who matches your description on a rebellion pirate ship.  He must have been a new member of the crew or they wouldn’t have thought it worth noting.”  The woman looked up at him.  “It’s Janus and Virgil Picani, which is of course why we know them.”

“Of course,” Roman said with a nod like that made any sense.  “You said someone saw Remus on that ship?”

“Yes.  I don’t know when they’ll be back, but I would imagine it would be rather hard to catch up with a flying pirate ship.  They’ll be back here eventually if you’d want to wait here for your brother.”

“I don’t have time,” Roman said, brushing right past the flying pirate ship what the hell?  “I have to find him soon or—” he stopped.

“Or?”

“Nothing.  It’s personal,” Roman muttered.  “Do you have any idea which way the ship went?”

“Of course.  They headed south.  They’re making their rounds?” the woman asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh!  Right, duh!” Roman said, smacking his forehead as if he should know that.  “Sorry, just… worried.”

The woman’s gaze softened.  “That’s understandable,” she said.  “Let me know if I can help you with anything else.”

“Will do,” Roman called, waving as he turned to head back for the street he came from.

Remus was on a flying pirate ship?  He had to be hundreds of miles away by now!  What was he going to do?

“Roman, where have you been?”

Roman spun around to find Shane marching towards him with his arms crossed.

“And what are you wearing?” Shane asked when he stopped right over him.

Roman looked down at Patton’s hoodie and pulled it off.  “No one was giving us information because we’re Light soldiers,” Roman said.  “So I disguised myself, and uh, I figured out where Remus went?”

Shane hummed thoughtfully.  “Impressive.”

Roman smiled despite himself.  “Thanks.  But the news isn’t good.  I think Remus was kidnapped.”

“Oh?  What makes you say that?”

“The woman I talked to said he was on a rebellion ship owned by Janus and Virgil Picani, and—”

Shane suddenly laughed, and Roman stopped talking.

“You think two of the highest ranking members of the rebellion kidnapped your brother specifically?”

Roman blinked in surprise.  Highest ranking members?  Remus, what the hell did you get yourself into?

“It’s… not impossible,” Roman said weakly.  “Maybe he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Hmm.  He is good at that,” Shane mused.

“Yeah, exactly!” Roman called.  “But uh…”  He bit his lip.  “The real problem is they have a flying pirate ship.  And the woman I talked to said she wouldn’t be sure when he’d be back.”

Shane nodded.  “We’ll have to go back for a ship of our own then.”

Roman blinked.  “We have a flying pirate ship?  And we’re going to use it to get Remus?”

“Roman,” Shane said, looking back at him.  “I said I would help you look for two months.  I’m not going back on my word.  And I have… very strong emotions regarding your brother.”

Roman’s eyes widened.  He hadn’t realized Shane cared that much.  Well, he’d been around for most of Remus and his childhood, so he supposed that could easily result in caring about someone.  “…so do I,” Roman replied lamely.

Shane gave him an amused look.  “Yes, I know.  He’s your brother.  Come on, we have a ship to go get.”

…

Roman had been kind of hoping for a chance to see Patton and Logan when they got back, but Shane headed them both straight for an area that Roman had never seen before.  Which honestly was a little surprising.  There weren’t too many places in their base that Roman hadn’t seen.  He had grown up here, after all.

It made more sense when he saw where specifically they were going.  He was barred from the area that belonged to people who had a leadership position.  And Shane led them straight through there, past rooms and the nice cafeteria, and into a massive room that was filled wall to wall with various kinds of vehicles for travel.  Most of the ships were kept at the docks nearby, but there were plenty of carriages and carts in here, and one ship that Shane led them both to near the back.

“This isn’t on the docks?” Roman asked in confusion.

“Why would you keep a flying ship on the docks?” Shane asked.  “We can just as easily open the roof.”

Roman looked upwards to try and process that statement.  The roof did appear to have some kind of large split down the middle.  Was Shane saying that opened?

“Roman, run to the cafeteria and tell them we need supplies for two months.  They’ll give us a week’s worth of food that we’ll stock up at a town and two months of supplies for everything else.”

Roman nodded and headed back towards the cafeteria he’d seen before.

The guard standing in front of the door stopped him as he approached.  “Hey, you’re not allowed back here.”

“We need supplies for a two month trip,” Roman said.  “Shane and I.”

The guard must have been familiar with what they were doing, because he nodded and opened the doors.  Roman was about to start heading in when he was stopped again.  The guard said something aside to the person who was immediately inside, and that person jogged off.

“You wait here,” the guard said, turning back to Roman.  “We’ll get your things for you and help you carry them back to your ship.”

“Oh.  Thank you,” Roman said, moving to stand back against the other wall.

It was quiet for a couple seconds when the guard huffed a laugh and shook his head.

Roman looked back over at him.  “What?”

“You’re wasting your time,” the guard said.  “Your brother clearly doesn’t want to be found.”

Roman grit his teeth and squeezed his hands into fists.  “And how the hell would you know?”

“Because he’s running.  People can’t be kidnapped from this facility, idiot.  Many have tried, all have failed.  He’s clearly trying to run from something.”

Roman narrowed his eyes.  “Don’t pretend like you understand my brother.”

The guard snorted.  “Please.  Does anyone understand your brother?  Do you even understand your brother?”

“Of course I do!” Roman snapped, ignoring the way that the statement felt much less true than it would have yesterday.  “How the hell do you know where I’m going anyway?”

The guard smirked.  “You and Remus are all anyone’s talking about.  The scared soldier who got down on his knees and begged for his traitorous brother’s life to be spared?  You’re pathetic.”

Roman was getting very close to storming across the room and smacking the guard.  Which would be a terrible idea.  Roman was far from helpless, and very in shape from the fact that he worked out all the time, but that guard was massive.  He could easily crush Roman like a bug.

Luckily, before either of them even had a chance to say anything else, the doors opened behind the guard and another three emerged, each carrying a crate of supplies.  They looked at Roman like they were expecting him to lead the way, so he headed back towards the other room, trying to ignore the anger still rising in his chest towards the other guard, who stayed behind to keep watching the door.

Shane had finished setting up a small ship that looked like it could easily be run by the two of them.  He also had in fact opened the roof by the time they walked back inside.  Roman looked up at the open roof for a couple seconds as the guards carried the supplies over to the ship.

After a second Shane called his name and Roman jerked back to attention and jogged over to the ship.  He climbed on just as the guards finished setting the crates in what looked like a small cargo hold.  Shane was adjusting something by the navigation tools and the wheel that would steer, and waved all the guards off as he started adjusting mechanisms.

Roman walked over to where Shane was standing as all of the other guards were moving to stand back from the ship.

“Have you ever flown before?”

Roman shook his head.

Shane chuckled.  “Then hold on tight.”

The next second the ship shook lightly and started to rise into the air.  Roman cried out a little in surprise and held onto the side of the small vessel.  They rose straight up until they had moved past anything else they could hit, and then Shane moved the wheel and they started turning.  It took only a couple seconds after that for them to rise above the base, and… woah.

Now that was a view.

“Alright, get ready to move fast,” Shane said, and a second after that they flew off into the distance.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Roman called over the wind.

“I’ve had suspicions about Janus Picani’s regular travel paths for a while now.  No one has ever thought I have strong enough proof for it to be worth looking.  Guess it’s time to test my theory.”

“It’s a place to start,” Roman muttered, moving towards the side of the ship to watch the land pass underneath them.

“Okay, Remus,” Roman muttered.  He looked off into the distance and sighed.  “You better not be a fucking traitor.”

Chapter Four