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ramonathinks · 2 months

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matters of the heart — Nanami K.

summary: finding out your ex-boyfriend wrote a novel detailing your relationship isn’t how you expected this week to go and to make matters worse everyone on the internet now thinks your “character” is a total bitch. you decide to pay your ex a visit, but can you do that without succumbing to your natural urges? well, no!

tags: 18+(MDNI/blank blogs) slight porn with plot, oral (f! receiving), brief nipple sucking, daddy kink, creampie, i guess nanami is a bit toxic in this lol, nanami might also be a bit ooc in here

to the moaners: has this been sitting in the draft for about 3-4 months? yes! but happy birthday month, kento 😚. artwork by @/_3aem (twt); @ryomens-vixen (this was the fic I mentioned a while back) word count: 5.6k (yuck), I don't really like this

I’m going to kill him, that was the only thing on your mind once you closed out of the novel. Normally, your weekends were spent relaxing with a fruity bubble-gum colored cocktail but today was different. Shoko called your phone at exactly 9:26 am claiming it was time she divulged some news to you. At exactly 9: 28am, she sent you an online copy of a book titled, “Matters of the Heart” and told you it was nothing but a two or three hour read and then to call once you finished.

The book had a slow start and it seemed pretty average, just any old love story. Lately, anything was getting published and it seemed that was the case here — wait, you paused your reading and sat up straight. No. Just no. Something just clicked for you which led you to completely start over from page one.

The moment you finished, at exactly 1:01 pm, you grabbed a salmon colored low cut shirt and light washed jeans, slipped on your white shoes and hurried to get into your car. You didn’t need to call her phone because you were going to talk to her face to face; this situation warranted a real conversation. It was nothing but a 17 minute drive to Shoko’s house, so when you arrived at exactly 1:18 pm, her door was already open. “They’re bashing me, Shoko. Fucking bashing! How could he do this to me?” Were the first words that flew out of your mouth, holding your phone close to her face so that she could see the reviews.

“Well, it’s not like anyone would know it’s you.” She yawned, handing you a cup of water – probably because of how crazy you looked – before she ushered you to a seat on the couch. A golden brown blanket was lazily thrown on the seat, which she hurried to move. You sat down and faced her with a look of what Shoko could only describe as pure sadness. She had seen you like this many times before, all because of one person.

“You did.” You sniffled with an eye roll, you couldn’t help but feel uncertain. Reading this book only brought back more uncomfortable feelings towards the breakup and him. You thought that you were over him and the memories that the book produced made you question everything. One question remained which is: Why?

She giggled drily. “Hey, I read all his works. Pseudonym or not. He can’t hide from me. Plus, I know you both and everything that went on. I was there too, remember?” She mumbled the last part. “Maybe this was his way of coping?”

“It’s been years… and I heard he’s announced a sequel. Shoko, a SEQUEL! It’ll be released later this year.” You spoke in a shaking watery voice while she rubbed your back in an attempt of comfort. Your mind could only think of what the reactions would be to your character in the sequel… insecurities that you never knew were there flooded your mind.

“There was enough material for a sequel? I thought he covered everything…” Shoko rubbed her chin and looked deep in thought. You just stared at her, she couldn’t be serious. “Sorry, ignore me.” She shook her head ignoring your stare.

“Do I even confront him over this? A-and how would that make me look, like I still check on him right? I’ll look crazy and bitter… which apparently I am. Oh and I’m bitchy and a ‘total cunt’ as they’re putting online.” He didn’t know just how much you changed, he missed your growth. Rubbing your eyes, you ask:“Why did you tell me about this? What made you take so long… I just don’t understand.”

“Well, at first… I didn’t think you’d care.” Moving a strand of her nut-brown hair out of her face, she continued. “Then about a month ago, I decided it was right to tell you, just in case someone else pieced it together.”

“Gojo read it then, huh?” You mentally cringed at the thought. It was the only person you could think of who’d be so crude about it. He knew how damaging the breakup was for you but not as bad as Shoko knows. Now, you’re just grateful that she told you before he did.

“Yep, so I figured that I had to tell you before he did.” She clicked her tongue. “But let’s just calm down before you make any rash decisions on how to handle this.”

“He wrote a fucking duality series about me, our relationship, our sex life and you want me to calm down? Are you listening to yourself? This is a serious matter. I am being called a bitch, a slut and more on Goodreads and multiple websites, reviews, etc. and he didn’t even have the audacity to give me a heads up. You had to call me.” You let out an unladylike snort.“Why couldn’t he stick to his mystery novels? Wasn’t he doing good at those?”

“Writer's block.” Shoko said in a singsong-like voice. “He hadn’t written a mystery book since you two broke up and then… he alerted his supporters he wanted to switch things up and then… that was that. Ladies loved it, a big hit. By the way, if you two were really fucking like that I need to se—”

“Shoko, now is not the time!” Your face felt hot all over, your mind racing. “I just can’t believe this.” You wrapped your arms around your body and squeezed, giving yourself one big squeeze. It was hard not to cry but you could feel it all in your throat.

“I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think his intentions were to make you feel bad.” She hugged you to her chest, pressing a small kiss to the crown of your head. “I think he still loves you. I mean, isn’t this book proof? After all these years, he wrote about you.”

“I’m sure he moved on by now.” You whispered, your eyes growing tired already and the day had barely started. “I just need to lay down. I need to rest.” Your mind seemed to finally grow calm and your breathing steady, a small hiccup now in your throat but with a gulp of water, you were better.

“Just stay here. I don’t trust you to be alone right now.” Shoko’s voice drowned out as sleep overtook you, you could only feel her warmth as she held you and honestly it was all you needed at this moment, Shoko always made you feel safe and you couldn’t thank her more than enough for that right now as you slept.

You were a light sleeper, it was always something that Nanami pointed out about you. He always said how he felt like he couldn’t leave the room while you slept even if it was to use the bathroom afraid to wake you. He knew how important sleep was to you and he’d risk having a bladder infection if you got all 8 hours that you required. Nanami was sweet and caring like that.

You didn’t think you’d break up with him ever. He was the one for you and he always made that clear. He pampered you and even after the breakup – though you didn’t need it – he left you with a check for five thousand dollars, saying it was for his half of the lease for the next few months.

The breakup was brutal for you. You almost quit working entirely. Shoko was the only person you’d confined into and the only friend you left to check in on you especially when you didn’t want to leave the house. She brought you groceries and helped you shower until you finally were able to get up again.

Though it was hard to believe, it was Nanami who broke up with you. You thought it was a joke, a cliche little joke.

“Baby, I’m not joking.” His voice was quiet and husky, he spoke as if he was going to cry. “I just need some time to myself. I need to figure out if this is what I want. You don’t have to wait for me, you just keep on living your life and being happy. But… I think it’s time we let this go.”

You didn’t cry in front of him. You didn’t cry when he packed his things up. You certainly didn’t cry when he shut the door, leaving his key on the table because you knew he was joking. He had to be. But when you called him and his number was disconnected and you were blocked on any form of social media… that was when you broke down and cried.

It happened out of nowhere. You overanalyzed every aspect of your relationship for where you went wrong. You wrote down every conversation you could remember and dissected it word by word. You watched every video and picture you had of the two of you looking for a bit of regret or anything on his face. You read every text message, looking for malice. He said he needed time to figure out if he wanted this but he always made it clear that he did and even that he was looking forward to having kids together, you two had even gone ring shopping months ago.

You didn’t sleep and when you did, it was only for 4 hours and sometimes barely that. Your heart had an ache in it and the tears wouldn’t stop. You could only think why wasn’t I enough?

When you opened your eyes Shoko was still holding you and a small smile grew on your lips. “Thank you Shoko.” You knew if you could count on anyone, it was always going to be her. She was the one who pieced you back together and made sure that life didn’t destroy you and you couldn’t help but to be grateful.

“Of course. ‘M going to let you spend the night here, okay? Let’s get some takeout and watch your favorite movies, how’s that sound?” She knew the way to your aching heart like the back of her hand.

“It sounds amazing!” You stretched your arms out wide, leaning off of her and sitting up. “Should we start with Uptown Girls or Legally Blonde?”

It took two days before you confronted him. Shoko was adamant about not giving you his address and you were tempted to get it from her phone. But luckily, you wore her down, she was probably tired of you bringing him or his book in every conversation. So now you stood there, nerves washing over you in waves.

The mahogany colored door stared at you – mocked you – and you returned the glare before you knocked on it, hard. This was just a door and you were angry at the person behind said door, not the door itself.

It was almost like he was waiting on you because the door unlocked and opened. He even stepped aside to let you in, quiet. His straw-colored hair was parted differently and he even looked taller or broader – you couldn’t completely tell – but he looked different… seemed different. The atmosphere around him made your stomach clench and it made you mad; why did it feel like only you suffered from the breakup? Here he was – strong and tall – and you were nothing or rather the same.

“You wrote a romance erotica novel about our relationship?” It was what you practiced saying before you got out of your car – making sure your voice didn’t tremble – this time, it didn’t.

“Well, hello to you too. Even after three and a half years, you still like to get straight to the point.” He grinned, putting a hand on your back to guide you to a seat on his couch. “I must ask, what makes you think it’s about you?” He does a slight laugh and raises his brow.

“We have the same initials, almost the same name. Are you kidding me?” You retort, folding your arms across your chest. You tried to ignore the fuzzy feeling in your chest that occurred when you heard his voice after so long, hearing him and seeing that damned smile… your nose scrunched up.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know you kept up with me… with my books…” He muttered, glancing your way, a demure look in his amber eyes. “Should I be flattered?” Almost in an instant, he turned on a slight cockiness to himself, though his body language showed his nervousness – his thigh bouncing a bit and his fingers tapping on the couch handle. A light sense of relief filled your system knowing that you weren’t the only one being affected by this.

“I don’t.” You inhaled deeply. “Shoko told me about it and then, I checked it out.” Fiddling with your fingers and even picking at your nails, that was your tell all sign of nervousness and right now you were engaging in it more than ever before.

“I wanted to tell you or rather, to ask you. I know you got the voicemails I sent last year…and then you kept dodging my calls.” He tells you, you could feel his eyes on you – or more so your fingers… the nasty habit that he had finally got you to stop all those years ago rushing right back in an instant.

“Writing a book to trash me and our relationship… to make you look like some sort of… ugh, like you’re so amazing and I’m just shit. Yeah, that certainly got my attention.” If you were coming off bitchy or rude right there, you couldn’t care less especially when there were worse things that you could’ve said or even could’ve done at this moment. You really wanted to slap him.

“Is that all you got out of it?” He asks with his head low, almost as if he was admitting defeat or as if he couldn’t believe you came up with something so trivial.

“Was there anything else to get?” You counter, shifting your body towards him. Maybe it was best that you sat down and actually listened to the author and his interpretations of his work.

“How about that I love you regardless of any flaws… how about I find your stubbornness and attitude sexy and how I knew this breakup would be good for you. I was holding you back. I mean, I heard you got promoted 3 times since we broke up… I just felt like I was changing you, hindering your growth. I needed to reflect on myself and this book helped that.” He tapped his fingers against his thigh, yet another sign of his anxiousness. “Believe it or not, I still care about you. No matter what happened between us.”

“What happened? You mean when you decided to just leave? You could've told me everything you just told me and I would’ve understood better. We could’ve talked and came to a compromise. You don’t understand what you put me through after it.” You were close to tears but you straighten your posture and sniffled, it was best not to think about what happened before. “I just needed a bit of closure too, I guess that’s why I came. I just was caught off guard. You could’ve knocked on my door or something, forced me to answer… forced me to talk.”

He met your eye for the first time since you came over. “You wouldn’t have listened,” He huffs. “Didn’t I mention how stubborn you are? Plus, I meant what I said. I needed time to myself and I think we both did.”

“I guess…But Nanami, this book was too much. A letter would’ve been fine if you needed closure, don’t you think?” You see his lips quirk up a bit before he licks them, trying not to laugh it seems.

“My publisher got a hold of some of the documents where I was just going over things, writing here and there. She loved the idea… plus I’m in a contract for six books so I had to put something out soon, it had already been a year.” He told you, sitting his chin on top of his knuckles. “I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. I was writing for fun… reminiscing about us and then later down the line, I realized I was writing because I wanted you to read it, I just didn’t exactly know how to get you to since you were very adamant on avoiding me, which is understandable. But regardless, I didn’t think it’d get on the bestseller list or for the reviews to get so harsh.” He admits, reaching for your hand before his hand froze in midair and he stopped himself, choosing instead to put it behind his head.

“Is there anyway you can stop the sequel from being published then… since you got my attention after all this time?” You asked, putting your most dazzling smile on, hoping to sway him.

“I can talk to my publisher. Everything’s in print and materials are already done… but I’ll try to see if I can stop production.” His adam’s apple bobbles when he does a harsh swallow. “Are we… okay? Do you forgive me?”

The question made you pause. He always made it hard for you to not forgive him; it took one look or a smile and a small explanation and it made it easy to fall in love with him all over again, no matter what he did… it seems. But it made you ask yourself: Were you too easy? Did you really forgive him? It was thoughts like that swirling around the corners of your mind. You wanted to forgive him, he was just writing and telling a story… but it was your story, not just his. Using this for your attention when he could’ve written about anything else, he didn’t have to. Were you just ready to forgive him because you still loved him?

You hadn’t realized how deep in thought you were until you felt the couch dip and even then, your mind was still spirling.“You don’t have to…” His voice brings you out of your thoughts, his body so close to yours that it was getting hard to breathe. He still smelled the same; citrus and woodsy and it was easy to get yourself sucked back in.

“So you can write another book about my stubbornness?” You give a quiet giggle, scooting a bit away from him, seeing him frown from the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to fall back but he made it all so simple. It was easy and you were already falling back on him and you didn’t need that… Did you?

“Baby…” Your body buzzed and hummed, turning to him with wide eyes. “I’ll do anything I can to make this right. Anything for you to forgive me… If they can’t stop publication, what can I do to make us right?” He was doing more than a gaze, he was full on staring and from how close he was it was hard to avoid.

“Nanami I–” You stopped yourself. You couldn’t really think of anything he could do but you could think of several unhealthy things you could do to ruin your progress on going over him. He had betrayed you and made you a laughing stock so why are you stuck thinking about forgiveness when you should be leaving.

“I never stopped loving you.” His fingers traced up and down your pants but his eyes stayed on yours. “I never thought about anyone but you… I never slept with anyone… it’s always been you. But, I understand what I put you through and I’ll apologize every second until you forgive me…” The blond man who you never saw shed a tear looked more than close to it. “But just please… forgive me.”

“I’m sorry, honest.” He tries again after being met with absolute silence. “Just… let me show you, okay?” His breath tickles your face for a second and when you look into his cocoa brown eyes, you feel everything you once felt again.

Memories of good times dulls out the odd feelings in the pit of your stomach – the confusion and pain – instead are replaced with joy. The trip to Malaysia where he rubbed sunscreen on your entire body and laid back to read a book and you watched as his eyes kept drifting to you while you played in the cerulean water; how you kept begging him to come in until he complied and how eventually in the early hours of the morning when you wanted another dip, he fucked you twice — once in the golden lush sand and another in the cool ocean water.

His face is in your thighs and you couldn’t help but feel better, feeling his breath fanning so close to your pants covered pussy, your body felt scorching hot. He’s grumbling, “Will you let me make it up to you? Will you let me show you how sorry I am?”

You must’ve nodded because he was already unbuttoning your pants and helping you lay back, pulling your shirt up just a bit to see your perky tits – he must’ve remembered how you never wore bras unless you felt it was necessary, which was mainly work or any important events.

He blew a bit on your hardening nipples before he took one into his mouth – playing biting them with a smug look on his face before he began licking around your areolas and kissing around the swells of your breast. He doesn’t say anything but he looks deep in thought as he kisses down your body, his fingers scraping down your sides as he works your pants and your panties all the way down. Bringing his head up for a minute, he looks in your face. “I love you.” He says it simply, heavy emotions swirling in his brown eyes.

Removing your pants and underwear completely from your body, he spreads your thighs and looks over your body – a trimmed low pretty bush sits between your thighs and it makes him smile, he always loved seeing the curled hair on your delicate lower lips. He spreads your pussy, watching the skin stretch with a deep smile on his face. You could feel yourself … the wetness leaking down under your body and it made you cringe, but the way he was staring at you made the insecurities vanish. “All this for me?” He takes a tentative lick before he slurps, clutching your hips. “I know you like to run… but I need you to stay put, got it?” It was hard for you to listen to him, your head already fuzzy and the thoughts swirling around were only about him, nothing more.

Then your body bucks up, “Wait–!” A broken moan escapes your mouth when he presses a soft wet kiss to your clit. Nanami had always been gentle and very careful whenever he ate you out; making sure his tongue was wet enough and that he wasn’t too rough. His tongue was wide enough to make your back arch, your body leaving the couch when it finally hit your clit and he gave you no time to recover before he peeled back the hood, sitting the tip of his tongue there and rapidly flicked at the bud.

Hearing the lewd squelching noises coming from the mixture of your cunt and his mouth made you close your eyes, squeezing them shut tightly. He spits before he licks it up and down your aching slit, nudging his tongue inside only slightly, much to your dismay. You’re gasping every second when more of his tongue slips in and out of your pussy; sliding a bit more each time and it makes your thighs shake. When he finally slips his entire tongue inside of you, curling it just enough that you can feel it everywhere, your legs attempt to close up around his head. “Please– ‘m so… soo–oh…” His fingers join in on the fun and in small sloppy circles he rubs your clit, pressing down on the pearl while his tongue continues flicking inside of you. The split second that you open your eyes, his are already on yours and it was that moment, that made your body tense up and for you to cum.

It happens fast, clear sticky wetness leaks out of you and Nanami still tries to get more of it on his tongue, catching anything that drips and sucking on your folds. “Always so fucking good…” He mutters, spreading you again and smearing more of your slick on his face by shaking his head between your thighs, so that he’s completely covered in you.

When he moves his head, embarrassment comes over you, looking at his wet face… even his forehead was wet and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby but… I’ll be right back, stay wet for me.”

Your heart hammers against your chest, lying there on this now wet couch. You didn’t come over here for this and yet here you are… about to get fucked and really, it was no turning back now. You’d been on dates with men after Nanami but they never lasted past the second date and you certainly hadn’t had sex in a while, but he made you come apart like it was nothing.

But then again, Nanami knew your body… so of course this was a walk in the park for him. It honestly annoyed you right now, you couldn’t even make yourself cum half the time especially these last few years and now, barely an hour here and he has you right where he wanted you… bare and practically back in love with him.

Nanami came back with a fresh face and unbuttoned pants that he was currently pulling down. You clenched around nothing, your mind thinking only of the perfect dick that was going to be coming out of those pants. You licked your lips, this would be the first dick you saw in years and it was his.

His drooling cock slapped his stomach and you swallowed, your mouth felt unreasonably dry. The length of his cock always impressed you, standing tall at seven and a half inches, he shakes with laughter which snaps you out of your daze. “Now let me look at you.” His whispers and even though he already saw you, both years ago and right now, you can’t help but feel hot all over again. He’s staring – drawing his eyes down every inch of your body – focusing on your breast before getting to the stare of the show yet again. He smirks, laying you back down, pressing his body against yours to kiss you.

Your breath was caught in your throat, his tongue still tasted of you and his hands cups your jaw. He’s gentle, his tongue moving around your mouth messily before he stops, saliva breaking apart when he does so. His fingers make a ghostly featherlight touch on your clit that makes you jump, the head of his cock at your entrance. He holds out his hand, close to your mouth. “Spit.” Gathering up some, you spit in the palm of his hand and stroke it along his length, huffing at the sensation.

He pushes in, taking his time to work himself inside of you, a strained expression on his face. Hips pulled back, he focuses more on just the tip of himself fucking you, watching your pussy stretch with just the tiniest bit of resistance. Inching himself inside, you watch his torso flex and he groans, obscene noises plop and plap around the apartment, his heavy cock pushing in and out of you, your toes curling.

“Pussy still mines, right? Didn’t give it away, did you?” You’re struggling to talk - to fucking breathe - your eyes rolling back and your jaw slacked but you babble out a soft ‘no’ which makes him finally thrust in you harder, completely bottoming out. You feel him in your belly, feeling full and embarrassingly wide with him stretching you out, his balls sitting on the crest of your ass before he moves.

He moves you a bit, your bodies flush to each other and he moves his hips in harsh circles, his pelvis so close to your clit. His hands on your calves, he pushes your legs so that they rest on his shoulders, your knees touching your ears makes you tighten up and he groans above you.

“Nanami I-” You call out, eyes closed with pleasure shaking through your core, wetness slapping between the both of you.

“Nanami? No, call me what you used to call me.” His hips slowed down, a whine escaping your lips. His cock dragging inside of your walls, pulling out slowly, awaiting your response.

“Please…don’t slow down, Ken—” before the word even left your lips, his hand slapped your cunt, leaving your legs shaking a bit and your eyes snapping open. Drops of tears run down your cheeks and you sniffle, reaching for him… you couldn’t help but feel so small in his presence.

“Say it.” Then, you knew what he meant. A name that now feels foreign in your brain and even when it leaves your mouth, it comes out in a strange rattled whimper.

“Oh, oh… daddy, ‘m sorry. Please, keep fucking me. It’s so goooood!” He’s grinning before the words leave your mouth.

“Still my good girl huh? Always so fucking good for daddy.” He licks up your neck and it makes you tremble, your tongue lolling out a bit and he moves to suckle on it. “Did you skip over all those sex scenes or did you rub this pussy out to them?” He asks, his fingers digging in the back of your thighs.

You choked out, sobbing, “I did, daddy… But I-I don’t want to remember everything.”

“You don’t remember all the words I used to describe this cunt? This pretty pussy? That changed his life… my life? That made him always crawl back? That made him so fucking hard? The pretty words I used to describe you? To describe how pretty she always looked when he fucked her? How his heart felt like it was going to explode when she looked at him too long because he loved her so damn much?” He’s groaning in your ear, thrusting into you, his depth reaching your g-spot, your pussy spasming and begging for his cum at every word he uttered.

Pumping himself inside, you could see the white creaminess that was on his cock, most likely because of you, he was constantly fucking the cream inside of you, your nails digged into his arms and he moaned at the feeling. Your stomach tightens and you move to push him away, “I’m going to c–cum!” You felt him throbbing inside of you, signaling that he was close too. “Please, cum inside of me… I can’t take it.” You couldn’t stand it any longer, it’s been years and you needed him to fill you up. He stopped for a moment, changing positions so that you’ll be sitting on his lap, grabbing your hips and forcibly bouncing you on his dick, dangerously slow.

Wetness gushes on him as his tip hits you from a new angle, seeing the outline of him in your tummy, he’s stretching you again with each nasty thrust. Each drag of his cock making you go crazy and the aching between your legs continue, your body shaking and both of you moaning loudly and over each other.

Finally, your orgasm rattled and shook your entire body, your pussy sucking him in, milking him for all he’s worth and it makes his body shake and he releases inside of you, trying to stay quiet as his body jerks up, unable to stop himself from fucking you through both of your orgasms.

It’s quiet for a while, just heavy breathing with you laying on his chest. “I love you too…” Your voice is scratchy and your face tear stained. He doesn’t say anything, his cock still pulsing inside of you.

“I know. I love you too, never stopped.”

“Did you at least read the acknowledgements or did you just dive right in?”

“I never read the acknowledgements for books, thought you would’ve remembered that.” You watch him get up, walking around the living room, looking for something. You were both still naked and the entire room smelled of sex.

“I did remember that and when you barged in my door, I already knew that you still hadn’t changed when it came to that. Here, read this part right here.” He brings you over a copy and you run your fingers around the softback cover with a small smile on your face; this silly thing had brought you both back together and right now you could give less than a fuck about those reviews.

Feeling the spine of the book, you open it and can practically smell the scent of an unopened new book. Turning the first few pages, you go to the one page acknowledgment and read it aloud: “She might not read this book. But if she does, by chance. I hope she knows that I still love her.” You wiped your eyes and smiled. “You’re an asshole, you know?”

He lets out a hearty laugh, “I know baby.” Kissing the top of your head, he gets up and grabs his phone from the kitchen counter and you follow him. “I think I have enough material to write a third book now.” He grabs his phone and starts typing, his eyebrows furrowed as if he was deep in thought. Attempting to grab his phone he chuckles and uses his height to his advantage by standing taller.

Standing on the tips of your toes you snort, “Don’t even joke about that!” But a smile takes over your face and he can’t help but smile too.

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certaimromance · 1 month

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𝜗𝜚 Cupid Walks Right.

Spencer Reid x BAU!reader

Summary: You've been hiding your attraction to your coworker for a long time, until a few pictures of him kissing a celebrity in a pool unleash emotions you can't control.

Words: 1,6k.

TW: mentions of crime and arms (normal warning in the series). spoilers for s1 e18 ("somebody's watching"). two idiots in love. lots of jealousy. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: The reader is simply me every time I watch that episode but with a lot more drama to make it interesting.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

One bullet after another hit the paper meters away from you, with each shot more accurate than the previous one. You had lost count of how many cartridges you had already spent because your mind was full of thoughts that only the sound of the shots echoing in the shooting room managed to silence and give you back a little control of the situation.

Memories of one of the last cases still lingered in your mind, and you couldn't understand why. It hadn't even been something relevant enough to stick in your mind that much, it was just a crazy stalker obsessed with a celebrity and more of the same old same old in terms of creating a profile. It was nothing you hadn't seen before, and it had ended well, with a happy ending that included Spencer kissing the victim he was supposed to be protecting.

That was the crux of the issue, the root of your problem.

You saw some photos that captured the moment in vivid detail and wanted to run out and throw up in the nearest trash can. You held back to avoid answering embarrassing questions, blaming your bad feelings on the last thing you ate and insisting that you were just satisfying your curiosity. But as they say, curiosity always kills the cat.

Maybe it was because it was unprofessional and unnecessary, maybe you were in a bad mood and needed to relax, maybe you were upset that the guy with the germ problem had shared saliva with a stranger, maybe you didn't like Lila Archer because of her performances, or maybe you just wanted to be in her shoes and have him kiss you like that. And for heaven's sake, maybe you've had a few inappropriate dreams about it lately.

You were just about to fire again to get the thoughts out of your mind when someone tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around, ready to defend yourself with the gun in your hand.

“Wait, wait, it's me. I'm sorry.” Spencer raised his arms in a sign of peace and took a few steps back. “Just me.”

“What are you doing here? You scared me.” You lowered the gun and placed it on the table, trying to sound less abrupt. “I thought everyone had gone home.”

He approached you again, checking the open shells and the pile of bullets on the ground. He was quite surprised to see how many times you had hit the target with perfect shots, and how you still seemed intent on continuing, even though it was almost two in the morning. It wasn't practice, because you didn't need it, it was something else, and you seemed quite angry about it.

“I spent the hour going through some papers and saw the light on in here. I thought I'd come and have a look.” He explained, trying to follow your gaze, which seemed to elude his. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, perfect.”

You started gathering your things and cleaning up the space you'd been using, planning to leave as soon as possible because of his presence. It had been weeks since you'd been alone with him because you'd managed to avoid seeing him as best you could. You'd even managed to convince Hotch that it was time for him to pair you up with someone else during the cases to experiment. You didn't even know why he'd listened to you, but it had been a great relief.

“You're leaving already?” Spencer asked, and you just nodded. “Can I take you home?”

Usually he drove you home, because your car was still at the mechanic and you refused to buy a new one. You always used the minutes you spent together to talk about something other than cases, they were moments of relaxation that you both appreciated. The big difference was that now you couldn't afford that luxury without feeling strange.

“Don't worry, I'll call a taxi.” You grabbed your jacket from a nearby locker. “I'm fine.” You added, with the intention of heading for the door until he stopped you by the wrist.

“Is everything okay...between us?” He asked as you looked up to meet his eyes. “Are you mad at me?”

“I'm sorry, what?” You said, feigning confusion. You always knew it was only a matter of time before he figured something was off with you. After all, he worked in profiling.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked again, in a lower voice, sounding a little more vulnerable than he'd intended. That instantly made you feel bad, you didn't want to hurt him with your confusion.

“No.”

He let out a sigh at your automatic response. His shoulders slumped a bit, and he felt a wave of relief for a few seconds. But then he looked into your eyes for a moment and hesitated, biting his lower lip.

“So...why are you looking at me like that?” He asked, sounding a little shy and with a hint of apprehension in his voice. “Or not looking at me at all.”

“I'm not doing anything.” You make excuses.

He got the chills when he heard your voice, which came across as cold and distant.

“You're giving me that look.”

You gave a little frown and folded your arms, as if to say you didn't agree.

“What look?"

“You look at me like I've done something wrong, like you're disappointed or angry...I think both. You barely look me in the eye, you walk away every time I want to talk to you, you don't sit near me on the jet or want to work with me anymore. And you've been like this for a week.” He paused for a second, remembering when your strange behavior started. “Ever since the L.A. case.”

The room was suddenly filled with silence and a palpable tension. You had been foolish to think Spencer wouldn't notice your remoteness, given his perceptive nature. But you didn't have a choice. You didn't want to appear jealous when you didn't even have feelings for him, you were just ovulating or something like that.

“Is it because...because of Lila? I heard Morgan say some things, and you haven't treated me the same since.” His wavering voice sounded more and more confident, as if he still had to convince himself of his point of view. “I want to know what you think, please.”

You could only curse Derek for exposing you like that. He was the only one who knew about your strange attraction to Reid because he had caught you looking at him several times and you had confessed it to him once in a bar after several drinks and a ridiculous game of cross questions. Since that night, the jokes and suggestions about making out with Spencer under a tree had begun.

But a beautiful actress did it before you, in her pool, with lots of pictures to prove it.

“I'm not one to tell you what to do, but I think your actions were unprofessional and most of all risky.” You spoke after a few seconds, clearing your throat and trying to contain the burning you felt. “It could have ended badly.”

Come on, you would have done the same thing. You often thought about what it would be like to kiss him in the middle of an investigation, especially when he kept giving important details. So you were a little hypocritical.

“I'm only saying that because I care about you.” You added, noticing how confused he looked.

“I know, I care about you too.” He replied calmly, taking a step toward you to touch your arm. “This has been bothering you?”

You froze at his warm touch and the implications you thought he was making about you, nodding as if hypnotized. Had he realized that you had been jealous all along? That you wanted to go back so he could kiss you and not her? That you wanted him to put his hands on your cheeks and kiss you deeply until you were breathless?

“I think I understand, but don't worry about me. I won't do anything dangerous anymore.”

Oh, he hadn't noticed.

Spencer really thought that you were just concerned about his safety because he was your friend and your partner on cases, that you were just frustrated that you weren't there to back him up in case things went wrong. It didn't even occur to him that it was something much deeper and more heated than that.

“So, all good?” He gave you a small smile that made your heart beat a little faster.

“Sure.” You lied, with a strange lump in your throat at the guarded words. “I just didn't know you liked blondes.” You added in a fake teasing tone.

Despite your clearly suspicious tone, Spencer laughed sheepishly. “Actually, I like your hair color.”

A strange bubbling sensation reached your stomach and made you smile.

“Mine?” You asked, lowering your gaze to the floor.

“Yes, it's like it's perfect for you.” He carefully brushed your hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear, causing the feeling in your stomach to identify itself as butterflies fluttering nonstop.

“You're telling me because I have a gun?” You tried to change the subject with a nervous laugh. “I'm not a celebrity, after all.”

“You don't have to be one to be as pretty as you are. But you could be if you wanted to, and...” He started to talk about statistics and a bunch of data you didn't even know, but strangely enough you didn't listen to him this time because you were stuck on the first sentence.

Spencer really thought you were pretty.

It was only then that you realized something had changed. The only successful shot had been Cupid's arrow to your heart.

Because, damn it, you were totally in love with that man.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid imagine #certaimromance<3

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freedomfireflies · 6 months

Text

Pillow Talk*

Summary: The one where you and Harry both have insomnia, and decide to spend one very strange night together.

Word Count: 7.2k

Content Warning: 18+, smut, daddy kink, mentions of drugs, angst (w/ happy ending!), not suitable for Ramadan!

“Oh, absolutely not.”

“Come on. Just one time.”

“No. Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Probably. I haven’t slept in 32 hours.”

You huff as you hide yourself behind your door. You don’t even want to see him. Because you don’t want to have this conversation or entertain this idiotic idea. This is what Harry does. He plays games. He tricks and he ruins and if you open this door, you know you’ll regret it.

“Poppy, please,” he calls, and you hear his forehead land on the wood as though to brace himself. “I’ve tried everything else, okay? It always works with you. I just…I wanted to try. See if it still does.”

You frown. “You realize how wildly inappropriate this is, right? Asking if you can come in just so we can sleep together?”

“Yeah, but that’s all I want to do. Sleep,” he insists again. “Really. I’ll keep my hands to myself and I won’t even talk to you.”

You consider this. Truthfully, you haven’t slept all that well since the breakup, either. And sure, you’ve longed for the nights when the two of you would fall into such an easy, simple, and incredibly effective routine.

But he broke your heart. And now you’re both paying the price.

“Just one night,” he pleads again. “And if it doesn’t work, I swear I won’t bother you ever again.”

There’s a subtle ache in your chest. Just hearing his voice reminds you of the pain. Of the joy. Of every good moment and every bad one, all wrapped up in the same silky cadence.

You take a deep breath. Perhaps you’re curious, too. Even if you don’t want to be. Because maybe this will work. Maybe you’ll finally be able to rest and get on with your life.

Or maybe it won’t.

But at least if it doesn’t, maybe you can find some closure.

So, with that thought…you open the door.

He looks worse than you’ve ever seen him. Which makes you just a touch happy if you’re being honest with yourself. His usual curls are askew and unkept. The bags under his eyes are dark and his clothes are wildly wrinkled.

And you’re surprised. He’s been up for longer than 32 hours before and handled it much better. You wonder if his age is catching up with him or if there’s something else keeping him awake.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

But you don’t fight with him. He’s not here to fight and you accept his terms as you widen the door and allow him to step inside.

He nods gratefully as he slips into your living room, but his eyes linger on your face. Almost like he doesn’t recognize you, and it makes your insides turn as you shut the door and put a few feet between you.

“What?” you huff.

He shakes his head. “I don’t know, you look…different.”

“Okay…?”

“You changed your hair.”

“Yeah.”

“Hm. It’s nice.”

You cross your arms. “Thanks.”

“Sure.”

Another pause, and the silence feels heavy.

“Well…do you wanna…?” you eventually say, and he nods.

“Right, yeah.”

“Okay.”

You turn to lead him to your room and it’s…unsettling how normal it feels. Like an old habit rearing its ugly head once again.

When you get there, his surprise returns. “You changed your room, too.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Why?”

Your eyes roll as you angrily toss your blankets back. “This is the one room I associated with you the most. And short of moving, I needed something you hadn’t touched or tainted. So I made the room mine again.”

He thinks about this, attention lingering on the new paint on the walls and the new furniture in each corner. “I like it.”

“I don’t care.”

He smiles. “I know.”

“Great. Can you get in the bed please so we can get this over with?”

Obliging, he slips off his shoes and joins you under the duvet. “Never thought I’d hear you say that again.”

“Never thought I’d have to say it.”

“Mm. You changed your mattress.”

“Obviously.”

“And the sheets and blankets, too.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Is there anything in here you didn’t change?”

“The carpet. But only because my landlord said I couldn’t.”

“Right.” He’s smiling again. “But you did get a rug.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s nice.”

“Bite me.”

He laughs now and you want to smack him. “I see you still get grumpy when you’re tired.”

“No, I get grumpy when my asshole of an ex shows up to my apartment at 3 in the morning demanding to be let in so he can sleep in my bed with me like a fucking child,” you argue. And you know you’re being snippy and maybe even rude, but he deserves it. After everything he’s put you through, you deserve to be in charge of your own emotions.

You turn the lamp off and the dark room grows incredibly quiet. You’re both stiff, unable to relax when you’re this close. You don’t want to touch—not the way you used to. And you don’t want to be close or let your guard down, although you suppose you’ll have to in order to sleep.

And then he says, “I really did try, you know. To find another way to sleep.”

You look up at the ceiling and release a soft exhale. “Okay.”

“Melatonin, light therapy, cut out coffee. Even drank those…sleep mocktail things everyone talks about.” He shifts. “I don’t know, I guess my brain just wouldn’t turn off.”

“Yeah. I know.”

More quiet.

“I haven’t done any since we broke up,” he finally says. Gentle, like he’s afraid to break the silence.

Your lashes flutter. He doesn’t have to say it for you to know what he means. “Great.”

“Yeah.” Another beat. “I thought it was work, I guess. Maybe the stress or something. I’ve been sleeping fine, but these past couple weeks…”

“Right.”

“And I just figured—”

“No, I got it. It’s fine, let’s just…let’s just try to sleep,” you say and he nods.

The bedroom settles and you try, you really do. But you can’t when he’s breathing so goddamn loud and shifting every two seconds and sighing like he’s in pain.

“What?” you eventually hiss.

“Are you dating someone?” he asks.

“What?”

“Are you dating someone?” he repeats. “Josie said you were.”

You hesitate. “I don’t know. Kind of. I guess.”

“You guess?”

“We’re…we’ve been on a few dates. It’s not official.”

“He hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend?”

“Why does it matter?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t. I just figure you deserve someone that actually wants to date you.”

“Oh, do I?” You roll your head to look at him. “Funny, you didn’t seem to think so when you were dating me.”

“All right, touché,” he mumbles. “I could have been better, I know that. And I know I took advantage. You did a lot for me and I didn’t…I didn’t care.”

Surprised, you twist your fingers together. “Uh…yeah. Right. Thank you.”

His head rolls, too. And even with the dim-light, his eyes find yours. “I’m sorry, Poppy. You really did deserve better than me. And if you found it with this guy…I’ll be happy for you.”

You swallow before sighing to yourself. “I mean, I don’t know if I did. He’s…he’s really nice. But he’s so…he’s just…”

“Vanilla?”

Your eyes widen. “Yeah. How did you—”

“He was wearing Crocs with tube socks.”

You laugh—loud. “Oh my god, how did you know?”

“I might have looked him up,” he admits through a grin. “Wanted to make sure he was worth your time.”

“Yeah? And?”

“And he wears Crocs with tube socks. He can’t make you cum.”

Your features scrunch together as you gasp and look away. “Ew, Harry. It’s not about that—”

“It’s always about that. Come on, am I wrong?”

“You—yes. What he wears has nothing to do with what he’s like in bed—”

“So he’s not vanilla?”

“He’s…” You pause. “He…look, he really tries—”

“So, he is,” Harry finishes for you. “Well, at least you got some.”

“I…yeah. Uh-huh.”

Instantly, he turns onto his side, head resting in the palm of his hand as he studies you. “He couldn’t get it up, could he?”

“Harry,” you groan, and reach out to swat him. “Stop, it wasn’t that. We just…we were taking things slow. We did some stuff. Just not…all of it.”

“So what he’d do?”

“Harry—”

“Come on, we’re adults, just tell me.”

“Ew, no—”

“Listen, you used to get fucked good. I’m just trying to help you get back to that.”

You frown but do oblige. “I don’t know. He ate me out and I blew him. That’s it.”

“And…?”

“And…I don’t know. He was fine. He was good.”

“Sure.”

Your eyes roll. “Okay, he…he wasn’t really all that into it. He stopped after a few seconds and asked if I came. Then he said his jaw was tired and that maybe we should just switch.”

Now, Harry’s features scrunch, too. “Shit. What a fucking pussy. Ironically.”

“I guess. It could have been worse.”

“Really? Eating you out was always my favorite. What kind of asshole just stops if he doesn’t have to?”

You feel a rush of heat through your body as you look away. “I guess they can’t all be you.”

“Damn fucking right,” he scoffs. “Seriously, you still wanted to see him after that?”

“He’s cute,” you argue. “And nice. And yeah, maybe he’s not that adventurous but that’s okay. I don’t need wild sex all the time.”

He’s quiet. “How about just one time?”

You turn back. “What?”

“I—okay, I was just thinking…you know, one of the things we would do when we couldn’t sleep was…fuck, so—”

“Oh, absolutely not.” You sit up, as though to put some distance between you. “No. Forget it—”

“Poppy—”

“Don’t call me that,” you huff. “You don’t get to call me that ever again. Okay, I’m not gonna fuck you just so we can sleep—”

“It wouldn’t be just for that,” he argues, sitting up as well. “It would also help your mood, too—”

“Oh, my mood?” You glare at him. “My mood is just fine, actually. In fact, I’d say it’s pretty good if I agreed to let you in my apartment in the first place—”

“You didn’t have to. I’m just saying, if sex with him is gonna be bland, might as well get in one last good fuck before you commit to a lifetime of boring—”

“Oh, my god. It’s not a lifetime and you’re a fucking asshole—”

“Yeah. We’ve established that. Doesn’t change the fact that you need it.”

You stare at him. “Is that why you’re really here? To trick me into sleeping with you?”

He leans back. “What? No. I don’t trick people into having sex, it was just a suggestion—”

“Yeah, a pretty dumb one. Did you honestly think I’d say yes?”

“Yeah,” he admits haughtily. “Yeah, because we didn’t break up over the sex. We broke up because you’re an uptight—”

“What? Say it,” you sneer. “Say it. I’m an uptight bitch because I wouldn’t let you do cocaine.”

He scoffs again and looks off into the dark of your room. The argument lulls. “I could never do anything right.”

“That wasn’t the problem and you know it.” You pull your legs to your chest. “I wanted to move forward and you kept going back. You’re almost 30 and you still act like you’re 19.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to get married and do the whole white picket fence life,” he says. “Maybe I liked things the way they were—”

“No. No, you liked parties with your friends and doing drugs that kept you up for hours and getting fired and leaving me to pay all the bills—”

“You didn’t pay all the bills and I told you I would do what I could to help—”

“Yeah. But apparently that included getting fucked up and staying out all night just to crash the next day.” You study him closely. “You were never around anymore. I never saw you. We were on two different paths and the only time we ever talked was when you asked if I wanted to fuck.”

“So, that’s it, huh? I’m just a villain in your story. You were this perfect fucking princess, and I was a monster that ruined your life?”

“No, obviously not. I wasn’t perfect. I know that.”

“Do you?” His eyes flick between yours. “You didn’t want me to move forward with you. You liked your new job and your new friends because they didn’t remind you of me. Of who we both used to be.”

“So? I’m not proud of what I used to do. And sure, maybe I wanted to make a better impression on the people paying my salary and keeping me employed. Is that such a fucking crime?”

“No. But you didn’t want me to be a part of that impression and you know it.”

“Right. Because you were shit-faced all the time.”

He opens his mouth, ready to retort. But then he closes it. He closes it and he stares at you and then…he surges forward.

Even if you were given at least two seconds to prepare, you’re not prepared for the way his hands feel on your cheeks as he kisses you. As he presses his lips to yours and steals the labored breaths in your lungs.

But you don’t fight him. You know you should. Know you should push him off and berate him. Yet you let him kiss you. And you kiss him back. And it’s far too easy to slip back into this routine as his tongue slides against yours in such a teasing way.

Your stomach flips while your hands land on his lap. You’re desperate to be closer, to feel his body against yours. His skin, and the way it melts beneath your palms like butter. You dance this devious dance and before you know it, you’re stripping each other of the few clothes you have.

He starts with your shirt. Ripping it over your head before his mouth lands on your chest. Bare and beautiful to him. His kisses are wet and sloppy and you arch yourself closer as you drag your fingers down his scalp.

The only reason he stops is to let you peel his t-shirt off, too. And then his jeans and socks. And you move so fluidly, you’re nearly naked in under a minute. The only thing left between you now his underwear and yours.

He lays you down, gentle. Surprisingly gentle, given the anger that brought you here. And he gazes at you in a soft, unspoken way that says everything you don’t exactly know how to say.

His fingers brush down your cheek as his body settles atop yours. He still fits between your legs like he was always meant to and the weight of him almost feels good.

“Are you all right?” he finally whispers, and he doesn’t sound like the same man from before. He sounds like the man you fell in love with. “Is this okay?”

You nod quickly, scared that if you think about it, you’ll ruin it. “Yeah. Go.”

He doesn’t. “We don’t have to,” he says. “You were right, it’s probably a dumb idea—”

“Yeah, but…it always works.” You shift beneath him and reach for his briefs, rolling them down his hips. “And I’m tired. Tired of fighting with you, tired of not getting any sleep…tired of pretending I hate you. You were right, our sex is good. So let’s do it. And then we can sleep. And we can finally move on.”

Not the most romantic of speeches, but it works. At least right now. He kisses you again and drags your underwear aside in order to tease you with the tip of his cock.

He feels like you remember. And maybe you find just a touch of comfort in that. There are no awkward pauses or confusion about what to do next. You don’t have to find your rhythm or anticipate the next step. You know him. And he knows you.

Your rub your clit in order to stimulate yourself. You aren’t exactly wet enough for this to be enjoyable, but you don’t expect him to do what he did before. The foreplay is up to you now and you’re more than all right with that.

However, he’s not. And he instantly swats your hand away in order to do it himself. Allowing his fingers to drag up and down your pussy until you shiver before he slips the tip of his middle finger inside.

“Shit,” he whispers. His forehead drops to yours. “Fucking missed this.”

You bite the inside of your lip to keep from grinning. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He starts to pump, bending your body to his salacious intentions until the unmistakable sound of wetness echoes throughout the room. “I know you missed it, too.”

“Hm. Don’t push it.”

“Why not?” He presses a kiss to your cheek. Then to your jaw. Your lips. Your nose. Your neck. Everywhere you used to love. “Are you really gonna tell me you didn’t?”

“Maybe.”

“So Crocs with Tube Socks is better, huh?”

“…not exactly.”

“Right.” He adds a second finger and your eyes roll back. “Don’t worry, Poppy, I’ll fix it.”

“Don’t…call me that,” you pant again, and he chuckles.

“Don’t know what else to call you. You were always my pretty Poppy.”

“But now I’m not,” you say. “Now you call me nothing. Because I’m not yours to call.”

He sighs but does seem to obey, at least for now. And the faster he thrusts his hand, the needier this growing feeling becomes. Stronger and louder until you finally grab onto his shoulders and say, “Just put it in already.”

He smirks. “How romantic.”

“It’s not supposed to be. Just come on.”

So, he does. He takes hold of his cock and he slips it through the gathering arousal until he can push in. And you both reel.

Truthfully, you’ve missed the sounds he makes when he’s turned on. The way he groans and grits his teeth together. The way the muscles in his arms strain until you can see those beautiful veins you used to love to run your tongue over.

He’s stunning. Even now, in the soft light of the moon through your curtains. His silhouette is unholy as it hovers above you. Strong hips beginning to thrust as you both work in tandem to find release.

And it’s closer than you expected. There’s something about him that can get you there even without much effort. Something Crocs with Tube Socks could never seem to figure out.

Because he’s not Harry. And only Harry can play you like an instrument and make such symphonic music all with the flick of his finger and a thrust of his cock.

He kisses you again and you both feel anxious. Soft murmurings of praise and, “Keep going,” that have you arching from the bed and moaning into his mouth.

You’re sweating and gasping for air and clutching onto his back as you attempt to meet his rhythm with rolls of your own. You need this. You need to cum so you can find release and you need to cum so you can finally sleep and you need to cum because then you’ll finally be able to let him go. To close the door on the chapter of you and Harry and move the fuck on.

But how can you move on when you’re still under him? How can you insist that you’re fine and doing great if you’re so easily convinced to fuck him just so you can both get some sleep?

There are other remedies to insomnia that don’t involve his cock and maybe you should have tried that before you let him into your apartment.

Either way, you’re coming before you can think twice about it. Raking your nails down his back and whimpering his name as he pulls out and finishes on your thigh.

And just like that…

It’s over.

You find him in the kitchen about an hour later. You managed to sleep at least a few minutes before you felt the sadistic hand of insomnia pull you back out. But when you woke, Harry was gone. His clothes were still on the floor, so you knew he hadn’t left. But he wasn’t with you.

He’s staring out your kitchen window when you slip into the living room. You’re not sure if he hears you or not but if he does, he doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he keeps himself braced against the sink, clad in nothing more than his briefs.

Curious, you call, “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head. Silent. Contemplative. “I used to love this window,” he eventually says. Soft, like he’s reminiscing. “The way the light looked in the morning. The way your little crystals would put rainbows on the wall and you’d get so excited. How you’d make me dance with you to some Elton John song while we were literally in the middle of cooking.”

You blink. “Um…okay.”

He turns and his eyes find yours. “I fucking loved this apartment. And this kitchen. And that couch. And your room. And even the hallway. I loved being here, all the time. I hated going back to my place because it never felt the same.”

The silence grows louder now as you look down at your feet and pull your robe just a bit tighter. “I know,” you finally whisper. “That’s why I changed it.”

“I know,” he whispers back. His expression falls. “You changed everything. This apartment, your life…us.”

“Because I had to,” you argue, glancing back up. “I had to, Harry. I couldn’t keep going in circles. I couldn’t drag you along behind me into the future when you clearly wanted to be anywhere else.”

“Because the future you always painted didn’t seem to have room for me,” he huffs. “Okay, with all these dinner parties and fancy houses and good school districts. You’d planned out the next 30 years and I didn’t see myself anywhere in your picture.”

“I didn’t fucking care about the parties or the school districts,” you nearly yell. “God, I—I didn’t want the white picket fence life. I didn’t want the 1950’s American Dream shit you keep thinking I did. I just wanted you. Yes, I wanted a good job with insurance and stability. But I wasn’t gonna trade what we had just for that—”

“But you did. You didn’t tell your parents we’d moved in together. You didn’t even tell half of our friends. You went on trips without me and you stopped telling me about your day and we never talked—”

“Because you were never around! You were either out with your friends getting drunk or high or you were in there playing video games because you’d had a ‘hard day.’ So, no. I didn’t want to talk to you when I knew you weren’t even listening in the first place.”

He leans against the counter and crosses his arms. Angry. Indignant. “You resented me. You resented the fact that we were together and you resented that I wasn’t perfect like your precious new friends—”

“Oh, that’s—” You pinch the bridge of your nose and force in a deep breath. “No. I didn’t want you to be like them. I didn’t want you to act pretentious and stuffy and talk about the stock market every goddamn second of the day. The only thing I resented…was the fact that you wouldn’t take care of yourself.”

“I was taking care of myself—”

“Bullshit. You were doing drugs—you were doing cocaine—and you weren’t eating, you weren’t sleeping, you nearly drunk yourself to death—”

“Right, but I wasn’t doing it all the time. It was just…it was occasionally, and it wasn’t a lot—”

“I don’t care. You shouldn’t have been doing it at all, Harry,” you finally shout. “You…you scared the shit out of me. Every time one of your friends would call and say you were passed out, I thought…I thought this was it. I thought I was gonna lose you. Do you know how many times I just sat on the floor and cried because I was so scared? Because you never wanted to listen when I told you to stop? Because you were so sure you were invincible?”

He seems pained by this, features wilting as he takes a tentative step forward. But he stops when you move back. “Poppy, I wasn’t trying to scare you, I…I didn’t know—”

“Yes, you did,” you scoff. “I told you, over and over that I didn’t want to lose you, but you thought I was being dramatic.”

He nods once. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

“Yeah. I am.” He looks at you. “S’why I stopped after we broke up. You were right, I needed to get my shit together.”

You nod, too. “Good. I’m glad.”

His gaze dances around the kitchen. “I hate that you changed everything,” he says again, and your heart wrenches. “I hate that it doesn’t look like it used to. I hate that I hurt you so bad that you felt like you had to erase everything I ever touched.”

You step closer and wipe a tear from your cheek. “Yeah, I hate it, too. I hate that I had to. I hate that stupid mattress and I hate that my kitchen doesn’t look like a rainbow anymore and I really fucking hate that I have no one to dance with when I cook.”

His eyes soften as they find yours and in only a few seconds, he’s reaching for the belt on your robe and tugging you to him. Wrapping you in his arms as he presses you against his chest, the way he always used to when you were sad.

“No,” you argue weakly, although you do nothing to stop him. “No, you can’t…you can’t—”

“Yes, I can,” he retorts quietly. You feel his lips press to the top of your head. “You don’t get to cry over me anymore. You’re better than that now. You did what I couldn’t. You moved on. And I don’t get to ruin that for you.”

You sniffle as you run your hand down his stomach. “It wasn’t about moving on. I just needed to learn how to be strong enough for both of us.”

“Poppy,” he breathes and holds you tighter. “You shouldn’t have to be.”

And deep down…you know he’s right.

“Shit, just like that…a little closer. Good girl, hold yourself open for me, baby. Yeah.”

Doing your best to oblige, you slip your fingers between your folds as Harry nudges his nose closer. Kissing his way along your thighs before allowing his tongue to lick a very generous stripe up your pussy.

Round 2 is on the couch. Harry wanted the kitchen counter—nearly insisted on it, in fact—but you knew you didn’t want to ruin your favorite breakfast spot. And you weren’t about to just for him.

So, the couch it was. He complained about it as you got settled. He hates this new couch, too. The color, the lumpy cushions, the way it feels like you’re sinking when you sit.

You told him you didn’t care. You loved it and if it annoyed him, that was a bonus.

Thankfully, he swallowed his complaints in favor of swallowing you. He tossed your robe open and pulled your thighs apart. And then he buried himself between the warmth of your pussy the way he always used to.

And you decided that maybe you don’t mind insomnia so much if this is the remedy.

“Missed this, too,” he says now as he nips at your clit. “God, you’ve always tasted so fucking good. S’fucking crazy, baby. Can’t ever get enough.”

“Sure,” you snort, head dropping back. “I’m sure you say that to all the girls—”

“No.” He shakes his head and his nose nudges the sensitive nerves as you whine. “No, there’s no other girls. Come on, did you really think there could be?”

“With a mouth like that? Yeah,” you admit. He laughs. “That’s how we met. You were such—fuck—such a player.”

“Maybe,” he concedes before mouthing at you again. “But nobody else has ever made me feel the way you do.”

You snort. “Where’d you learn that line?”

“It’s not a line. It’s the truth.”

“Harry. Come on. I know you.”

“Then you should know I don’t say shit I don’t mean.” He smooths his palms down your thighs in order to spread you just a bit further and see the way your hole flutters. “Oh, pretty girl. S’just drenched, hm? All sensitive from the last one…need Daddy to make it better?”

You scrunch your nose. “You don’t get to call yourself that anymore.”

“No?” He grins. “Why not?”

“Because I hate you and Daddy is reserved for someone I like.”

He tsks. “I don’t know, kind of seems like you still like it. Keep clenching around my tongue like you wanna hear me say it again.”

You hesitate as you weave your fingers through his curls. “Never.”

He hums and the vibration against your cunt makes your thighs twitch. “Come on, baby. Don’t be mean to Daddy.”

You want to glare. Slap at him, refuse him. But he’s right—you have missed the moniker. If only just because of how good he sounds when he says it. So, you let him tease you and taunt you as he tastes you. You let him do whatever the hell he wants because your second orgasm feels stronger than the first and you don’t imagine you’ll survive this one.

He slips a finger in as well. Beckons your pleasure closer with every curl of the large digit. It’s practiced. He sucks and licks and nips and thrusts and curls and pumps all at the same time.

Then, he pulls back and brings his palm down in a sharp smack to your pussy.

“Stop squirming,” he instructs, then shoots you an obviously pleased frown. “Don’t be a brat.”

“M’not,” you whimper. “Not a brat…just wanna cum.”

“Do you, hm?” He licks you again then adds two fingers. “Should I let you?”

“Obviously.”

“Obviously?” He’s smirking now as he starts to go faster. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you do deserve it. Yeah? After being so nice as to let me in.”

You pout. “Mhm.”

He’s so happy. He’s always his happiest when he’s suffocating himself with your pussy. He does everything he knows you love. He leaves teasing kisses to the inside of your thighs. He slaps at your leg, your clit, your hip. He helps rock you against his tongue and even lifts you from the couch to find a deeper angle.

And he does all of this out of sheer enjoyment.

“Harry,” you whimper as you melt into the cushions. Your limbs feel like jello. The pleasure is everywhere, and he looks like a god. His face is covered in you, glistening about as bright as the stars.

“I know, Poppy,” he says. He kisses your pussy and then smiles at you. “I know.”

You like the way Harry’s chest feels. Warm and soft and painted in the tattoos you used to trace with your finger.

He’s gently scratching your back as you both lay in bed. The room is quiet—you haven’t spoken in minutes. Still, neither of you can seem to find sleep and you know you’ll desperately need it soon.

But this is nice. Even if it is the last time. You like getting to reminisce—pretend for even a moment that things are the way they used to be. When you were happy and safe and content to be together.

You weren’t sure you’d ever feel this kind of peace again.

“I missed you, too, you know,” he whispers after a moment.

You glance up.

“I didn’t just miss your apartment. I missed you.” He takes a breath and runs his palm along your spine. “I miss our Sunday mornings and I miss when we’d watch scary movies just so we could make out and I miss the way you used to dance around in your underwear to some stupid musical you were obsessed with.”

You swallow a lump in your throat. “Har…”

“And I don’t know what happened,” he says. “I felt like…I felt like I was watching you do all these amazing things and I just couldn’t keep up. You were getting promoted and moving up and I was still at the fucking bar serving drinks. And you knew what you wanted to do. I didn’t.”

“I didn’t know,” you argue gently. “Not really. I hate my job. I hate that I don’t enjoy it the way I used to. I mean, I like that it pays the bills, but maybe that shouldn’t be enough.”

He presses his cheek to the top of your head. “You should do what makes you happy.”

“You used to make me happy.”

The soft strokes against your spine slow.

“You did, Har,” you tell him. “So happy. That’s why I hated that we started fighting all of the time. I hated that you were gone or that I was gone or the fact that I was too ashamed to tell you that I missed you. And that I was scared we were losing each other.”

“Maybe we needed to lose each other,” he says and you feel sick. “Maybe we needed to be apart to see what we really wanted.”

You think about this. The idea sounds nice. Inviting. A happy end to a rather dreadful story.

But you both know better. Five months has taught you better.

“There’s a reason we broke up,” you finally murmur. “We didn’t…we didn’t like each other anymore. We were holding each other back—”

“I liked you,” he says softly. “I loved you. Yeah, I was mad, but I didn’t just stop loving you.”

“Maybe you should have. Maybe it would have been easier for us and we wouldn’t be…here.”

More silence. It stretches for what feels like hours.

And then, “I can’t sleep because of you.”

You suck in a quiet breath. “What?”

“When Josie told me that you were seeing someone, I couldn’t…I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And she showed me a picture she took of you guys and you were so happy. Smiling at him like you used to smile at me and I just…I didn’t know what to do.”

Another pause. You don’t know what to say.

“I put my fist through a wall,” he tells you. “And somehow, that still didn’t hurt as much as knowing you’d moved on.”

You snake your arm around his middle and snuggle closer. “Harry, you knew we both had to move on eventually.”

“Did we?”

“Harry…”

“But so soon? It’s only been five months.”

“Yeah. Five months to grieve you and cry over you and realize I did this for you.” You close your eyes. Tight. “We’re better people now.”

“No, we’re tired people now,” he teases, and you smile. “And I think I’ll be losing sleep over you for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I mean it. I’m always gonna think about you. Think about what I did wrong. What I could have done better.”

“I fucked up, too,” you argue. “I should have told my parents. And our friends. I should have talked to you more, asked you to do more things together. You’re right, I was ashamed of you. Of this…routine we’d fallen into. And I’m sorry.”

He says nothing. After all, there’s nothing more to say.

But he kisses the crown of your head and it speaks louder than any words.

“Fuck…fuck, Poppy, please—”

You grin as you lick your lips. He’s always sounded the most beautiful when he’s begging. And his best begging always tends to happen when his cock is down your throat.

“What, Daddy?” you ask innocently. “What do you need me to do?”

His eyes roll back and he grips the sheets in his fist. “Please…”

You reposition yourself over his legs as you dip back down to have another taste. You lick and you suck and you stroke until he’s making another strained noise that sounds like sex.

You hope your neighbors can hear. You bet they missed him.

“Good boy,” you purr, squeezing his thighs as you take him even further.

He sucks in a sharp breath through gritted teeth before his hand finds your hair and he squeezes. “Easy…easy, baby. S’been a while. Don’t hurt yourself—”

You respond to his instruction by inhaling through your nose and relaxing the muscles in your throat. Allowing him to hit the back the way he always used to.

His head drops into the pillows. “Shit—Poppy, I mean it. M’not gonna fuck your throat. It’s gonna hurt and I don’t wanna hurt you anymore.”

It’s an oddly thoughtful gesture but it does nothing for you now. Instead, you shake your head and pull off, a string of saliva dripping down his cock in your wake. “I’m fine, H. Trust me, I can take it.”

“Yeah?” He pushes up onto his elbows. “Is Crocs with Tube Socks hung or something?”

You grin. “No. But that dildo you got me last year is.”

He blinks. “You…fucking hell, you fuck your throat with that?”

“Mhm.” You swirl your tongue around his tip as he curses. “And then I fuck myself. And I pretend it’s you.”

He tightens his hold on your hair and forces your eyes back to his. “Are you serious?”

You nod, now feeling a touch shy as you wipe your mouth with your knuckles. “Yeah…I know that’s…probably weird, but…I mean, you got it for me, so I thought I’d be weirder to think about someone else—”

“No, it’s…” He stops. Struggles. “Shit, I really needed to hear that.”

“Oh, you did, huh?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t want you to think about anyone else when you used it, either. It’s got my fucking initials on it.”

You laugh, louder than you mean to and it makes him grin. “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it? It was a pretty good gift, I’ll admit.”

“S’a fucking perfect gift,” he retorts. “We had a lot of fun with that dildo.”

“We did indeed.”

“But apparently not as much fun as you’re having with it.”

“Fucking myself helps me sleep,” you remind him. “So sometimes it’s necessity.”

“Is that right?”

“Mhm.” You squeeze the base and he twitches. “You used to watch me. Remember?”

“I do.” His eyes get darker. “Do you fuck yourself a lot?”

“…these days, yeah. Apparently, I can’t sleep all that well, either.”

“And does it work?”

“Most of the time, yeah.” You turn your attention back to his cock in order to avoid his curiosity before you quietly admit, “Sometimes I pretend you’re here. Sleeping next to me. And…that helps, too.”

He reaches for your wrist and pulls your attention back. “Poppy—”

“No, don’t look at me like that, it’s dumb—”

“I imagine you, too.”

You blink. “You do?”

“Every night. Except the past couple weeks. Cause now I just think about you and him. And then I can’t fucking sleep.”

You turn your hand so your fingers brush through his. “Shit. We’re a mess.”

He smiles. “Yeah.”

The conversation falls away as you dip back down to resume your work. Squeezing his balls, moaning as you take him on your tongue, and milking him for every last drop.

Turns out, you missed the taste of him, too.

Morning comes before either of you find a moment of rest. But you can feel yourself growing tired. Your eyelids are beginning to droop, and your body feels incredibly spent.

Turns out, round 4 is where the magic happened. He brought out your favorite vibrator and teased your poor, swollen clit with it until you squirted. It was easy and quick and he seemed rather delighted to be bathed in you.

Until, of course, you insist on an actual bath to clean you both.

The shower felt good. The warm water washing away the sticky sweat on your skin. And the two of you fell back into a similar routine. He ran the soap down your arms and you washed his curls with your favorite shampoo. A shampoo he claimed he looked everywhere for after you broke up but could never find.

He said he missed the smell. The way it made his hair so soft. And the way it would make his pillowcase smell just like you.

You were grateful that the shower hid your tears.

You both crashed on the couch after you had dried off. The sheets still needed to be cleaned and neither of you could be bothered. But, as it turned out, the couch was growing on him. And he begrudgingly admitted it was rather comfy as the two of you curled up in your usual spot.

You know you’re both close to sleep. Finally, after all your efforts to get here. But you also know that once you wake up, Harry will leave.

And there’s a chance you won’t see him again.

You know that nothing has changed. The two of you still want different things, even if you want each other. And you hate that that’s not enough. That what you want and what you should want don’t align.

Instead, he’ll move on with his life and you’ll move on with yours.

But you don’t want to learn how to fall asleep without him.

“Make me a deal,” you whisper.

He hums. Lashes shut tight as the morning light slips in through the window. “What?”

“If I wake up, and you’re still here…we do this again. Not…as a couple. But as two broken humans that find rest with each other.”

His eyes open.

“But if you’re gone,” you continue, “then we don’t. We don’t do it again, we don’t see each other again, we don’t reach out again. We cut ties. Officially. Block and move on. For real.”

He seems saddened by this, and you hate that you’ve made him sad. But you both know it’s for the best. This won’t be sustainable in the long run. And maybe it’s a bad idea to continue at all, but maybe you want to hold on to him anyway. At least for a little while.

Even if it’s just as friends.

Exes.

Two broken humans that used to make each other whole.

His lips press together and he nods once. “Deal,” he agrees, and you can tell by the look on his face, he’s already made a decision.

You aren’t sure which way, but you suppose you’ll find out soon enough. So, you allow your eyes to fall shut and your dreams to take hold. Melting into his arms and into the sofa as you finally find sleep quicker than you have in months.

You’re not sure how long you’re out. It feels like hours. A heavy slumber that leaves you rather refreshed as your eyes eventually flutter open.

You don’t see Harry as you slowly adjust to your surroundings. And you don’t feel him, either. But you’re too afraid to really look. To sit up and realize that he’s gone. For good.

And then, just when you think you’ve lost him…you hear the most beautiful sound in the world.

“Good morning, Poppy.”

Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @straightontilmornin @justlemmeadoreyou @harrysdaydreams @tiaamberxx @peterparker1sgf @myfavfanficsever @littlenatilda @vamprry @fdl305 @tchalametishot @ssaama @indierockgirrl @likeapplejuicenpeach @vane28282 @lukesaprince @closureesny @lc-fics @0nlythrowharrybeaux @hannahdressedasabanana @iguessyourejustwhatineeded @dylanobandposts21 @butdaddyilovehim-hs @floral-recs @itjustkindahappenedreally @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @laelamarley @myalovesharry

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charliemwrites · 9 months

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Sniff, sniff…. Woof.

Content: Voyeurism

“Johnny? Johnny, baby, come here!”

Your big wolf boy comes bounding in from the living room as you shut the front door, immediately rearing up to sniff at your neck and face and hands. Satisfied, he licks your cheek and drops down again.

“Alright, listen up, handsome.” You grab his cheeks, scritching along his jaw and grinning as his big blue eyes go dopey. “My sister and her husband are going to stay the night. You are going to be a polite boy because you love me and don’t want to give my sister anything to talk shit about. Yes?”

A sneeze that he (for once) aims away from you. You laugh, drop a kiss between his eyes.

“Good talk.”

As usual, he follows you through the house as you shed clothes and shoes and bags. You ramble about the grocery store and your day, mostly just to get it out so your headspace can be clear for the evening. Helps to have a little (relatively) listener following at your heels.

He camps out in the bathroom while you shower, licking the glass door until you scold him - per usual. And again when he tries to lick the clean water off your leg. Only starts getting restless and grumpy when he sees you change into “outside” clothes rather than pjs.

You groan as he tries to herd you away from your own closet. Must be mixed with a shepherding dog because he’s a damn pushy jerk.

“Enough, bud,” you sigh. “Look, I don’t wanna go much either. But it’ll be worse if I don’t.”

He mouths off at you, a new thing he’s started up that reminds you of a husky. Maybe you should get one of those doggy DNA tests.

“I know I know,” you coo, shimmying into a pair of pants that your sister won’t be able to tease makes your ass look flat. “I’d rather snuggle up and watch 90s vampire movies too. But I already said I’d go and this means I’ll be able to skip seeing her on her birthday.”

More grumbles, but at least he climbs up on the bed to pout. You finish dressing and head for the vanity - no way you can go out with your sister without makeup.

As you pass, you roll him over to scratch his belly - politely ignoring his reaction. God, you really need to get him in for a neutering. If you catch him humping one more pillow—

When it’s time to go, you drop down to give him one last hug.

“Be good, baby. I’ll be home soon with some new friends. I love you.”

—

After dinner, your sister’s husband suggests a bar. And, of course, it’s a sports bar. Man can’t go more than an hour or two without.

You and your sister chat while his eyes stayed glued to the screens. Well, she chats. You mostly just provide the audience she constantly craves, the validation she always needs.

At some point your excuse yourself to order another drink, weaving between the patrons and sighing at a chance to let your face rest for a moment. While you’re waiting, someone brushes up close behind you, startles you.

“Och, sorry, hen. Madhouse in here.”

You blink, tilt your head back to see a gorgeous pair of blue eyes shining down at you. Takes your breath away.

“Oh! Um, no problem, I get it.”

You try to scoot as much as you can - but it really is packed, especially at the bar - and the man takes the opportunity to occupy any free space you have.

Not that you’re complaining. He’s got the type of face they put on magazines with hooks like “sexiest man alive.” A killer grin as he winks down at you, arm bracing on the bar.

“Buy ya a drink for bein’ so rude?”

You’ve barely gotten the start of, “oh it’s alright,” out before he’s signaling the bartender. His stature and presence gets him instant service though, so you let it go, fidgeting restlessly.

Even his voice sounds like a sin worth committing. He’s too attractive. Too handsome to not know it; and definitely too handsome to be chatting you up and ordering you a drink.

“You here with anyone?” he asks with an edge that makes your spine prickle. Yet you almost feel like you imagine it. His tone is normal, his expression hasn’t changed and yet. Something subsonic in the timbre of his voice, maybe.

“My sister and her husband,” you reply.

“No husband of your own?”

You try to laugh, it comes out strained and awkward. “Ah, the only man in my life has four legs.”

Instead of looking annoyed by the brush off, his eyes spark.

“Dog?”

“Yup!” And okay, alarms in your head aside, you’re always happy to talk about Johnny. He’s a safe topic. You fish your phone out of your back pocket and show him your lock screen.

The man takes a quick look at the screen, an odd, private smile flicking across his face. There and then gone, before those intense eyes are locked on you again.

“He friendly?”

You laugh a bit, perk up as the bartender returns with your drink. “Not with men. Thanks for buying!”

as you turn to go, he grabs your hip. Not hard, or even too low. But you gasp quietly, the heat of his palm searing through your clothes.

“Name’s soap, by the way.”

Infinitely more nervous now, you stutter out your own and then retreat to your sister and her husband.

Spend the rest of the night pretending not to watch Soap. He doesn’t return the courtesy, eyes trained on you, lurking around the bar. So visible it seems to only you. Something about the way the light catches his eyes reminds you of when Johnny senses a threat. When he gets low and growly, hair standing on end, eyes focused.

Soap looks like he’s hunting you.

Thankfully, your sister complains about the noise after an hour or so and the three of you leave. You’re relieved to be going home.

As you step inside, you call for Johnny again.

“Wait, who the hell is Johnny?” your sister’s husband asks, an odd look on his face. “You’re living with someone?”

You snort a bit. Does he seriously not remember you talking about your dog?

“Yeah,” you joke, “he’s the love of my life, my one and only—”

You hear the clack of the doggy door and call out again. Johnny trots in panting.

“Did you just come in from a run?” you chuckle, putting a hand out in greeting.

He comes right up to you, presses his nose to the spot where “Soap” grabbed you and snuffles.

“I know, I smell wrong,” you soothe.

He grumbles and licks at your shirt, but you gently nudge him away, turning as your sister scoffs.

“You still do that thing where you talk to them like people?” She asks. “Don’t you think that’s… childish?”

“Johnny’s basically a person in a human body,” you reply, laughing. “You’ll see.”

“Dogs shouldn’t have human names,” her husband pipes up, reaching for Johnny.

“No, wait—”

Johnny snaps just shy of his fingers and puts himself bodily between you two.

“Easy!” you yelp, hooking your hand in his collar. “Sorry, I meant to warn you - Johnny’s shy with men.”

“He almost took my bloody hand off!”

“He’s just protective. Johnny, heel.”

He stops snarling, but plants himself at your feet right there, eyes sharply trained on your brother in law. Your sister snorts.

“How are you supposed to get men back here, then?”

You jump as Johnny barks, a full deep one that your rarely ever hear. Your sister startles too, then scowls.

“I don’t,” you answer, shaking your head. “Anyway, let me just get the sheets for the spare room and we can call it a night.”

Johnny stays close at your heels the entire time, though you swear he throws a nasty glance back at your sister’s husband.

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elizabethrobertajones · 23 days

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summer scions!! I absolutely love the new portraits for all their smug happy expressions. Except Y'shtola, who is not going to deign to give a camera a proper saucy look because that's silly. Urianger is smirking twice as hard on her behalf.

Glam review under the cut!

I unlocked Alphinaud first of the twins and didn't know Alisaie had a little necktie yet, so I'm deducting a point from my first impression because the sheer delight that he had a silly little necktie of some sort no matter the situation delighted me so thoroughly. Since they're still engaging in matchy twin dressing to some degree, I have to assume they either like it and won't admit it after digging in so hard, or Ameliance sent them off with cute outfits and matching backpacks, and they still don't really shop for themselves.

He's got the practical watch/compass gloves which are good for a technically proficient Sage and probably the most practical gear he's ever worn except for when he was poncho Alphy, but wearing ankle-length jeans seem like the least weather-appropriate choice of the Scions if we assume their average skin coverage is a good weathervane for the temperature in Tural. I chalk it up to teenage awkwardness.

8/10 unless he and Alisaie chose their outfits themselves, in which case it's a 9/10

I think Alisaie is the only Scion to keep a single piece of their default gear, and those are her usual gloves. She's colour-matched around it.

Because of the gloves and boots, she looks the most ready for hardcore hiking, somehow, and her matching Alphinaud with a cute button down shirt with rolled up sleeves along with that particular choice of baggier shorts (when she normally wears more form fitting shorts) do give me the closest to butch vibes it's probably likely to get for main characters. So I'm giving her an extra point I stole from Alphinaud for the lesbian vibes.

9/10 or 10/10 if she made these choices all by herself.

Everything about this cracks me up, from his portrait above to the image of him tanking open shirted once he pulls mobs.

Believe it or not, he's getting an additional point for those shoes simply because the competition in practicality in tanking is G'raha.

I had a moment of excitement when I thought the necklace was pink because that's always a cute Ryne/Minfillia thing fanartists give him with ribbons and such, but once I got zoomed in on him it was red, so I guess he's just been shopping. Although, the turquoise shorts are her eye colour and the actual large diamond shapes are secretly Mothercrystal coded in those colours, which just cracks me up that you can pick out one of the worse days of his life (Urianger's grand Warrior of Darkness plan) in his Chill Summer Beach Vibes look.

Douchebag beach bro shell bracelet as well, which really makes me double down on him and Urianger spending way too much on tourist bait along the stalls in the Famous Turali Market. The hat and sunglasses are giving him one of the Most tourist-y looks thematically reflecting how a lot of the Scion guys were just here to hang out, narratively or literally. Maybe he's trying not to get such an intense tan again, which is the only reason he's not entirely topless.

11/10 I could not stop laughing when I got him and Urianger to 100 and Beheld The Brilliance in the same moment.

Please note the raised sunglasses in Urianger's portrait, which are not the model his character uses.

I am delighted that I had been incorporating that island watch into my healer glams on both the logic you need to know your clock positionals but also they're largely the smarty pants jobs (WHM being vibes only aside - it gets its own glams :P). And here's Urianger and Alphinaud both using watches.

Now, I had a moment of being vaguely disappointed he had trousers not a skirt or something else swishy and androgynous, but then I did realise that I, a nonbinary weirdo who relates to Urianger since he made me nonbinary, have actually gone to a couple of garden parties dressed in some variation of this exact outfit of light trousers and a nice button up. Plus, the earrings are in both ears, so no "Google, which ear is the gay one?", these are just straight up cute femme dangly earrings with his favourite little dudes on.

More importantly, the colours he's repping are those of Lopporit Radio. He probably tunes in every night for his broadcasts :')

Mirrored sunglasses for the guy notorious for keeping thoughts and plans close to his chest and choosing deliberately to be enigmatic even when it serves zero purpose except for I guess gender affirming care. (The gender is Weird Bitch.)

I can't tell how I feel about those dad sandals. I suppose it depends if he's wearing them like a fashion model (brand new and clean with perfect pedicured feet) or if those are REALLY dad at the beach-like and, since I'm not a foot person, this for me is only a choice between "not off-putting" and "AURGH".

9/10 the proximity to Thancred hauls him up several points of misgivings I had, and the lopporit shout outs are killing me :')

I unlocked Y'shtola last and holy fuck I am a lesbian. I don't even recognise where those boots come from, so either a really expensive glam or something I just have not stumbled on. She has toe rings I think? And painted nails? I have no idea if the garter (?) is part of the boots glam or a custom thing as result of not recognising the boots and how much of them is normal. I feel like they customised a lot on her anyway - the back of her top has purple beads that match her staff (not dyable on the real piece)

and I think the necklace has to be part of the top instead of a separate necklace piece with the way it hangs, AND the bracelets are a glove piece with the original summer glam, but I assume they're layered with the false nails, also in the glove slot. All in all it's giving the sort of effort which is starting to creep up to what I'd expect from the modding community not the game. I mean, not THAT good but getting close. Baby steps towards what fandom can make :P

She really is god's favourite meow meow.

Anyway I can't really judge this fairly because it's really hot and I love her so I'm just going to give it 100/10 and move on. :)

how did I get a picture where Estinien looks like he's stooping to get in the frame...

The fact he has Azure Dragoon Blue Top and then Violently Nidhogg Fuchsia shorts is the colour theory that absolutely killed me. When he lights up during his burst and starts glowing pink all over his shorts are like. Taking him over like the eye once did I think.

love a guy who can embrace his past trauma and dress to match all that has passed before and all that he intends to do now (kill something large and tasty, grill it on the beach, fall asleep with a beer in hand until the waves come in and wake him up).

I gave him that wooden bracelet in the glam he has on my desktop screen so once again I'm feeling weirdly vindicated.

Other details: no ponytail despite the warm weather because he's got enough ventilation. The fact there's cactaurs on his shirt when he's on record for eating them is amazing. We should imagine he's wearing his jobstone like that pendant (since he's one of the only guys with a confirmed jobstone despite being the Guy Without A Job notoriously that one time.)

Unlike Thancred's hat and sunglasses combo, which seems fun and boisterous somehow, he seems the most walled off of all the sunglasses wearers even though he's not the most mysterious. The visor really helps make it a sort of wall. Maybe just because his terse upfront personality and somehow despite his clothes horse habits THIS amount of whimsy seems the most out of character at first glance, but he DOES look uncomfortable to me.

Somehow I find everything about this outfit excellent for his character but also like maybe he was forced into it, everyone cornering him and telling him the Scion Beach Party was a mandatory work event and he was not allowed to beg off of it and he did put some work in expressing himself but also is going to go find a much quieter corner to lurk in for the day, when not competing with Thancred (can't grill, loves it) for the barbeque (Estinien can grill, would only do it because the threat of Thancred doing it wrong is too high).

confused 7/10 mostly because I think Krile is blackmailing him and not because I don't love everything about this.

Here's how G'reenha Tia can still win -

Anyway here's the deducted point for tanking in flip flops (PERFECTLY acceptable BLM gear btw but he's Mr Versatile.)

(I joke but the main character of my novels is a flip-flop wearing menace who could and would tank in them)

Between the padlock and key necklace and the woven bracelet right after we all went feral over the Thavnarian bracelets for couples thing so recently (and Corvos is just across the water!) he's absolutely dripping cutie pie love interest coding yet again.

(Also yes I know the lock and key thing is very funny because we were introduced to him learning he was a fancy key to a big door.)

Gains a point back because the other green g'raha thing is I'm pretty sure people use this shirt glam because it kinda looks like it has weed on it.

Don't quote me on that, vibes only.

Anyway he came colour coordinated (with his original eye colour and hair colour not the bright Allagan dalamud red dye that goes with his normal outfit) so so precise and neat, like he's going to some sort of formal event, and even with flip flops he really does seem incredibly put together like the twins or Y'shtola, just for full outfit cohesiveness.

As someone who would hold G'raha's hand on the romantic gondola vibe, 10/10.

3 out of 10 and a huge cringe if you would not. He's got to stop Striving.

Hey it's the star of the show!! Adorable hairstyle out, cute plot-important earring on, and wearing her exact character colours but adorable beach wear :)

I love that she looks kind of like she went to the girls for advice and got the top from Y'shtola and the shorts from Alisaie, and she probably was very serious and stressed about getting this right even though there's no rules and no one's judging her -

oops.

Anyway the ballet shoes are adorable and go with all the cute picto spins and twirls :)

I think the strict colour scheme does speak to the slight lack of fleshing out she got so far in the story (we don't really have any real character reason that picto in particular spoke to her and this glam isn't one of the many fun takes people had on how to dress to meet that brief ). I don't think DT did more than just repeat that she's serious and sweet and trying really hard to get out of her shell and be more fun and creative and also she's been practicing dodging really hard she shouts mid-Trust combat (bless her). But ALSO getting out of the shell is really hard and she only found out everything and got some closure in the final level 100 quests so there wasn't really much to do with her after that.

This is like her First Non-Plot-Critical Whimsy Moment and losing the hood or any cat ears entirely (and there are perfectly functional cat ears to wear in game) is a good step considering we know she wears it precisely because she needed a sort of advance PR campaign to make her look cute and approachable before she opened her mouth and started bringing down the vibe (serious scary children are SO funny though and i love that for her). Having the same top as Y'shtola is a good thing for trying to make her less childish and have her trying to show that now as she takes this huge step out from the background. I mean, it still has a slight sense of her costuming herself and pushing herself out of comfort zones as she always does, but it's 100% in character so I adore it.

1000/10 because Krile is great and there's so much going on here and it's so fun when a character's whole personality is a costume and then they're like aurgh wait do I even want that??

#ffxiv #dawntrail spoilers #I love these goobers #enough to level all the jobs through Trust rather than more varied and faster means :')

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serejae · 22 days

Text

I STILL WANNA BE YOUR FAVORITE BOY | C.HS

pairing ; vernon x reader

WHAT ! ; after rejecting his bestfriend vernon is left to ponder in what he lost, now its up to him whether to make things right

a/n ; i know ive been writing alot for vernon buttttttttt whos gonna fight me..😒

VERNON swore he didnt care, if anyone asked about you he shrugged it off. the news of you confessing to vernon wasn’t shocking to anyone, the way you two looked at eachother explained everything but the part that shocked them was when he said he rejected you.

“so what? you just rejected them?” dokyeom asked sitting in front of vernon on the floor as he laid on the couch. not bothering to look up from his phone, vernon shrugged

“yeah

i dont get the big deal everyones making out of it”

“the big deal is that we all know you like them and we’re trying to protect you from regretting anything” dokyeom sighed. all he got back ad a response was a light chuckle from guy sitting on the couch. “i’ll be fine, you guys dont need to be so worried about the decisions i make”

“what if you regret it?”

he looked away from his phone for a second and thought before shaking his head.

“nah”

nah

now vernon was sitting at his dining table with his now cold mac n cheese infront of him. the word “nah” was constantly repeating in his hand like a broken record trying to overpower dokyeom words of regret, because maybe he was right

and vernon hated to admit it

that he had fell for his bestfriend

and especially when he rejected them first and was now feeling something about them going on a date with another person

it was weird, normally you’d stay for dinner and afterwards you both would cuddle onnthe couch while watching a movie (always of your choice) to digest, then go cuddle in bed and go to sleep. (with the many years of knowing eachother and getting comfortable with one another) its no surprise you fell for him, and he fell for you too

so it was like something, or someone…was missing tonight

the table was too quiet, too much room, he didnt like it, at all.

but vernon was too selfless for his own good to stop you now. you’re already hurt by him, so why would you want someone like him to come back to your life again?

closing his eyes, he rubs his temples as he thinkings about what happened that day. he didnt think you deserved someone like him the day you confessed to him

“just tell me who you like” vernon stretched out his words as he leaned towards you trying to bother you

shaking your head as you laughed, you tried to push him off but he was too persistent in bothering you

“cmon, ill help you” he said trying to convince you to at least give him a hint

“would you?”

vernon nodded his head quickly hoping your answer would be him, but why when it wss did he reject you?

“i like you”

he paused feeling his heart quicken, and out of adrenaline

“im sorry, i dont like you”

in his defense, the idea is much scarier than the reality. the moment he said yes, you would be stuck with him and his problems. so not wanting to hurt you he rejected you

so now why were you and him hurting?

the cold mac n cheese was now stored in the fridge as he lost his appetite thinking of you doing the same stuff you did with him to other people, let alone go on a date.

he wish he could change something about this.

so thats when it clicked

he can

grabbing a sweater and putting on his shoes he ran to his car trying to get their as soon as possible

well, the reality is much scarier than the idea because hes been standing outside your door for 10 minutes walking in circles while simultaneously looking around to see if any cars were pulling up to your drive way indicating your date

even then, if they did show up what was he gonna do?

beat them up?

well, maybe not.

but before they arrived and swooned your heart away, vernon hoped deep down that your heart still belonged to him.

as selfish as it sounded, maybe vernon needed to be selfish to get this one thing he wants

to be your favorite boy

not some random person.

so before his time was up he knocked on your door

and within seconds you opened it, looking as shocked as he did.

and his first words to you? (rather sighed knowing dokyeom was right)

“i still wanna be your favorite boy”

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murdrdocs · 3 months

Text

personifying pussy; typical carm angst; angsty sex; MDNI 18+ w/ CARMEN BERZATTO

it's a cycle with carmy.

you're good, great, even. you gush about him to friends and family. you bring him out for bowling or wine tasting or something your friends suggested and you're so happy to go because you're happy to go with him. he makes time where he can. he laughs at your jokes and adds onto the bit. he makes dinner and hides his smile with his hand when you make dinner because you're really not a bad cook and his smile is one of fondness than mockery.

and then something happens. a nightmare or a thought that spirals or a memory and suddenly carmy is cold. he's the avoidant guy sugar talked about while he was in new york. he's the nuisance and new owner that tina and richie shit talked to you about when you came in for your usual. he's the neglectful partner sydney texts you about late at night before he returns home. and he's the boyfriend who's side of the bed is always cold and his mug is never used and his shoes are always gone from the rack.

you've gotten used to it. it's a cycle and it's one that's comforting. it shouldn't be, this shouldn't be your normal, but it is. and you're fine with that. because you don't want to lose carmy.

and because it's not always like that. it's never bad, just frustrating, even when you argue and his eyes are emotionless and your eyes are crazy as you throw your voices and throw your hands up in wild gestures.

it's not always like that. and even when it is like that, there are some benefits.

like when carmy comes home and you're awake, sitting in bed on your side, doomscrolling so bad that the action needs a new, more extreme name. you hear the lock, but it's night five into the more unfavorable part of the cycle so you stay in bed. you know—you think that carmy needs his space and you're prepared to give him that.

then the bed dips beside your feet and he sighs. he rests his hand over your ankle with nothing but the duvet and the bedsheet in between your respective warmth. he doesn't say anything, neither do you, but you've stopped watching the video on your phone. it has turned into nothing but white noise behind carmy's voice—soft and slightly broken—when he finally speaks.

"hey."

you click your phone off and look at him. "hey."

you notice he doesn't smell like cigarettes. you wonder if his breath will taste like the horrible gum he's been forcing himself to chew lately.

"i missed you." his admission comes first.

"i missed you, too." it makes it easier for you to tell him.

he's on you quickly. sturdy body hovering over yours, one hand pressed into the pillow and the other gripping your waist, dipped beneath the duvet.

he kisses you with all of the unspoken words from the past few days. he kisses you and it's like you can forgive him, even without a proper apology. because that's what you do, you put up with carmen berzatto's shit. and why? because you believe in him? because you love his family? because you hope he'll get better? because you love him?

maybe it's more simple than that. maybe it's because you need him. you need him to scratch the itch within you that you couldn't reach on your own. you need him to ignite the fire inside of you that only his probing and the sound of his yelling could do.

his rough hands tug your panties off and lift your sweatshirt over your head. you wonder if he notices that it's his sweatshirt. you wonder if he even cares.

it's not like he can focus or care about anything that isn't your body in the moments like these. your body as your legs part and welcome him in, even when you were talking to your mother during your lunch break about how distant and cruel he'd been lately. your body as your chest reaches for the sky and carmen interrupts it's path, his mouth coming down to lick around your nipples.

he's so good at this and it pisses you off. when you first got together, it was obvious that he was out of experience. but like everything else, carmy works as if he has something to prove. it's his motivator, the thing pushing him to become better and better at whatever he tries his hand at, even if he burns some bridges along the way.

he hasn't burnt the bridge between you two yet, which is the worst part of this all.

his promises come easier when he's fucking you. slow slides of his cock in and out in and out, your cunt squelching around him as if she's as appreciative to have him back as you are.

fucking you is always his apology. it's the easiest one for him. the one that keeps his tail untucked from between his legs and his ego still in check. after he's tweaked out in the middle of the living room over the smallest thing and snapped at you instead of dealing with the issue head on, he wraps his arms around your waist and kisses the side of your neck until you're open to bending over the counter.

after he brought his anger from the bear home and let it burn until everything else was scorched in its path, he finds you in the shower and slides his hands between your thighs.

and you always accept, because if he doesn't fuck the anger and sadness out of you, it'll never go away. if he doesn't apologize like this you don't think he'll ever apologize.

and that's why you sit and listen to his promises for things to be different. it's why you rake your hands through his tangled hair, undoing the tangles as best as your pleasure shook hands will allow.

"'m not ... i'm not doing this shit anymore, okay? it'll all be different. t...tomorrow. yeah. yeah. tomorrow." you don't even know how he's able to spit such bullshit when you're squeezing around him like this. but maybe that's how, maybe he's so lost up in the feeling of your perfect pussy—as he's called it on a few occasions—that he doesn't even know what he's saying.

it makes the most sense, especially when typically, tomorrow comes and he's just as cold as the day before.

he makes you cum quick, that's what distance will do to you. your leg hooked over his shoulder, your foot dangling uselessly up beside his head, while your other leg is wound around his waist, keeping him close to you. as soon as he brings his hand down to circle your clit, you're gone. your head is thrown back and your eyes are squeezed shut. your feet are flexing and pointing and your abdomen is pulled tight and relaxed. it's euphoria at it's finest. it's always like this. it's like a fucking drug, and unlike carmy with his nicotine addiction, you don't think you'll ever want to stop.

you don't ever want to stop, you know that for certain. so when carmy wakes you up a few hours later, not as early as usual and a quick reminder that it's saturday tells you why, you submit into him.

it's tomorrow, and maybe things will be different.

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #icarus writes the bear

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moonstruckme · 5 months

Note

have a bonfire - send a character + a trope (one bed, fake dating, etc.) and I’ll write a drabble

steve harrington + friends to lovers maybe? definitely feeling lovesick steve rn 😮‍💨

Thanks for requesting lovely mal <3

Steve Harrington x fem!reader ♡ 698 words

The movie theater is dark, and yet Steve catches sight of you the second you step inside. His heart does a dumbass little somersault.

“Y/n’s here?” he whispers to Robin, who’s sitting next to him and using her licorice as a straw. On his other side, Eddie’s kicked his feet up on the seat in front of him like a total asshole.

“Oh, yeah.” Robin waves to you, and you spot them, heading over. “I invited her.”

“You didn’t say she was coming.”

Robin gives Steve a sideways glance. It’s tinged with a meaning he refuses to decode. “I didn’t realize I needed to check with you.”

He huffs. You’re climbing the steps, still three rows from reaching them. “Move over by Eddie.”

Robin turns towards him now, eyebrows raising. “You’re not serious.”

“Go!”

“Dingus.” She musses his hair spitefully as she stands, just so he’ll have to fix it, waving over her shoulder at you as you start shimmying down their row.

You wave back, smiling bemusedly as you take her seat beside Steve. “Hey,” you say.

“Hey.” He’s grinning like an idiot, and he can’t seem to stop. He wasn’t expecting to see you today. “Long time, no see.”

You go a bit sheepish, the previews casting a red hue over your features. “Yeah, sorry. Work’s been keeping me busy lately. Three people quit at once, so everyone’s expected to cover until they can hire new ones.”

Steve grimaces. “Yikes.” He has the urge to tell you to quit and let him pay for everything, as if that’s something he can fiscally manage or even remotely normal. “That sucks,” he says instead.

“Yeah, hopefully it’s not for long.” You get comfy, slipping off your shoes and putting your socked feet up on the seat. Your knees lean onto your shared armrest, within a pinkie’s reach of Steve’s hand. “I actually just got off, I didn’t grab anything from concessions because I was worried I’d miss the beginning.”

“Oh, no way.” The movie starts, and he lowers his voice but neither of you turn towards the screen. “Want me to run and grab you something?”

You give him a funny smile. It makes your cupid’s bow flatten out and Steve thinks that if he were to kiss you, he’d start there. “No,” you whisper, “you shouldn’t have to miss anything either.”

“It’s okay,” he promises you. “I don’t even really care if I see this.” He has been looking forward to it ever since he saw the commercial, honestly, but he’s happy to miss it for you.

“I’m fine,” you reply, “but thanks, Steve.”

“At least have some of mine.” Eddie shushes him loudly, and Steve kicks the underside of his knee, making the other boy curse. “I’ve got coke and popcorn, that okay?”

The movie glows blue over your face as you grin, eyes twinkling in the low light. “Classics. But I’m not gonna take your food.”

“I’m not gonna eat it all,” Steve argues. “These are both extra-larges. You think I bought that all for myself?” He absolutely did.

You lean in closer, your knees touching the side of his hand. “You paid for them,” you whisper.

“So?”

“So, I’d feel bad.”

“Then make it up to me.” Steve hopes he doesn’t look as nervous as he feels. He’s never been able to lay on the charm with you like he can with other girls, he doesn’t know why. Or maybe he does. “Come with us back to my place tonight. We’re ordering pizza.”

“So,” you murmur through a smile, “make it up to you by taking more of your food, is what you’re saying.”

“Uh-huh, exactly.” He takes a sip of his coke and then angles the straw in your direction. “Deal?”

You drop your eyes for a second, shaking your head like he’s silly, and Steve knows he’s won even before you meet his gaze again.

“Deal.” You wrap your lips around his straw, sucking in a mouthful before letting go. “You drive a hard bargain, Harrington.”

Steve grins, laying bay in his seat and totally not thinking about how his pinkie is grazing your thigh. “Yeah, that’s what they tell me.”

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waldau · 5 months

Note

I cant insert a photo here on your ask but it goes something like

"Do whatever you want!!!" X said out of anger then character Y kissed him gently. "You said do whatever i want, right?"

whatever — choi seungcheol | 1,821 words | hurt/comfort, fluff

this prompt was really cute!!!

gender neutral reader. warnings: reader is stressed out? and in need of a hug?

you love the sounds that make the house you share with seungcheol your home.

you love hearing the door creak when you open it at that specific angle. you love the sound of the clock ticking in the living room that seungcheol himself picked out. you love the sound of him walking on the wooden floor of your house, the sound of his glass when it clinks against the marble of the kitchen island, the birds chirping in the evening when you take out time to just relax against him and watch the sun set, and the sound of his quiet snores when he insists he wants to watch you watch your favourite shows, only to end up falling asleep.

there’s none of that here, in this moment.

you take off your shoes and kick them to the side, not bothering to open the cabinet to put them inside because the doors make a particularly loud sound when they snap shut, and you don’t want to risk waking seungcheol up again.

it’s been an odd couple of weeks, with you staying out late because of more work and seungcheol staying in because his workload has been relatively less for the beginning of the new year. him being at home would’ve made you happy if you didn’t have to apologize for cancelling and rescheduling dates, or for being left with energy enough only for a bath and a quick dinner, movie plus cuddling sessions replaced by cuddling in your sleep. if you were lucky to get back home in time, that is.

you stop and listen for a few moments. there’s no sound to be heard. the door to your bedroom is shut, which means that seungcheol must have already gone to sleep.

a little pang of hurt stabs your heart. it’s not like you want him to keep late hours for you, but you’re not exactly doing well in these trying times, and you’d really love to have his voice wash out your worries.

a resounding bang from the kitchen startles you. before you can even think of the worst possible scenario that could’ve just transpired, seungcheol walks out of the kitchen, a rolling pin in one hand and some flour on his hair and his rolled up sleeves. the literal definition of a hot mess.

“hey, baby,” he says, eyes widening when he sees you. “i was expecting you to be back in an hour or two.”

so it’s that bad, huh? it’s become normal for him to expect you to come back even later? you focus on the stains on his clothes instead, and the rolling pin that seems so out of place in his hand. “what exactly are you doing?”

“nothing! well, nothing much. yet. maybe you should stay out of here for a while.”

one thing about seungcheol is that he never keeps secrets. he can’t tell you a white lie to save his life, much less a black lie. “cheol,” you say, frowning, “both of us know you don’t even cook. are you baking? and why’s there flour in your hair?”

“sieving accident,” he mumbles, so quiet that you almost don’t catch it.

“should i be afraid?” you ask, pinching the bridge of your nose. you feel like your tears are a short distance away, and you really, really hope he’s done nothing more. something tells you that isn’t it, however.

“not really!” says seungcheol, but you can read him like glass at this point. the little nervous laugh and the way his nose twitches when he tries spinning facts makes you dread what you’re going to find inside. “maybe you should have a nice bath before you sleep? did you have dinner yet?”

you try to move past him into the kitchen but he blocks the entrance with his broad frame. the one time this isn’t sexy.

“cheol, let me in.”

“not until you tell me the password.”

“there’s a password now? what, something like choi seungcheol is the best?”

he giggles. “close.”

you sigh. “cheol, i’m really not in the mood to play games right now. please tell me what’s going on in there?”

he tries pulling that face, the one with the puppy eyes, where he looks at you so pleadingly that you’re generally ready to fold and do whatever he asks of you, but right now it just doesn’t work on you. the more evasive he is, the more worried you get. before he can react, you duck under his outstretched arms and into the kitchen.

rather, into the mess he’s made of the kitchen.

you’ve heard stories about junhui trying to bake. they sounded absolutely hilarious, and you’ve always wondered how he could mess up so bad that he managed to land waffle batter on the ceiling. especially when he didn’t even own a ladder to try and clean it.

it’s not funny when it’s your house that has some batter on the walls. at least it’s not the ceiling, you think, a bit hysterical, until you see flour on the…everywhere. it’s just everywhere. the counter, near the sink, in front of the oven like it’s a modern day trail of breadcrumbs that hansel and gretel would’ve followed. there’s also baking supplies scattered all over, an extremely huge sheet of baking paper lining a tray that’s sitting next to a bunch of bowls.

it’s a mess, to say the least.

“i’m sorry,” seungcheol says, gently turning you away from the sight of it. he winces when he sees your face. you don’t even know what your face looks like. all you know is that you’re tired, that you need a break, and that the last thing you would have liked to see today was your boyfriend’s face while he was peacefully asleep, and not…this.

you shake your head but no words come out.

“i’m sorry,” seungcheol repeats, setting the rolling pin down on the counter. a comical little cloud of flour rises and settles. what kind of accident even was that? “i was just…trying to bake.”

“cheol, you didn’t even know why we use baking soda till last week!”

“hey!” he says, defensive. “i asked you so i could learn. and i know this isn’t great, but—” his words dry up when he notices where your gaze lies — on the batch of cookies that are burned beyond belief.

you can’t believe your eyes, either. you’re not the biggest baker in the world, but you’ve never burned anything you’ve baked. especially not in your first attempt. maybe you’d have given up the courage to bake again if that had happened, but seungcheol clearly isn’t that bothered by it.

you don’t know if it’s because of how pitiful they look, or how long your day has been, but you feel a lump rise in your throat.

“you never even do this,” you whisper, only focusing on his face and not the mess around you. “why did you think you had to do this today?”

“am i not allowed to try things if i want to?” he asks, crossing his arms.

“it’s not that, cheol,” you say, trying to be as reasonable as possible. “i’d ask you for some help before trying something i’ve never done before. you never, ever do this. only when i ask you to help me. why today?”

“because i wanted to,” he says, almost flippant. “i’ll clean it up before you know it.”

but it’s not about the mess. it’s not about the burnt cookies. it’s not about the way he tried to block you from seeing the state of the kitchen. it’s the finality in his tone. it’s the fact that it’s not a big deal to him because he hasn’t had the day you’ve had.

seungcheol’s eyes widen when he sees your lips tremble. “are you seriously mad at me? for baking?”

“do whatever you want,” you hiss, tired and angry, feeling a single tear slide down your cheek. “i shouldn’t have looked inside.” you turn to walk away before it becomes a full fledged cascade of tears, but you don’t go far because of the hand holding on to your wrist.

“stop,” he says, holding you strong enough that it becomes futile to try and escape.

“let me go, seungcheol,” you say, avoiding his face.

“oh, no,” he breathes out, and the next thing you know is that your face is cradled in his hands and there’s a warm kiss pressed to your forehead. and your nose. and your lips. and it keeps repeating till you push him away, your face in his hands. you can feel the ugly emotions inside you ebbing away slowly, reducing to small embers that prickle the slightest bit.

“what are you doing?” you ask weakly.

“you said do whatever i want, right?” he asks, a smile on his face.

that gets you to break, for some reason. you would’ve forgiven him even if he’d gotten batter on the ceiling, because this — the sight of seungcheol with flour in his otherwise perfect hair, wearing an old shirt and beaming at you even though you’ve snapped at him — kills even those small embers.

you press your face to his chest and let the tears out silently.

seungcheol rubs your back. “hey,” he says softly. “let it out, okay? and i’m sorry about the mess. i meant it when i said i’ll clean—”

“it’s not that,” you whisper. “just…hold me?”

seungcheol complies, and you find yourself swaying in his hold in the silence of your house.

“want to talk to me about it?” he offers when you pull away, feeling slightly better. “i’m—”

“stop apologizing to me, cheol,” you say, laughing a little wetly. “it’s not the kitchen. i’ve just…i’ve been missing you like crazy and i miss just being with you without doing anything. i hate coming home late and seeing you asleep by yourself in our bed. i want…i want things to go back to the way they were.”

“so, a bad week?”

“more than one.”

“but you have me here at the end of every single day, right?” seungcheol says, pushing up the corners of your lips to make you smile. you do smile, but it’s because of the cute grin he has on his face. “we’ll get through it before you know it.”

you sigh. “it sounds good when you say it like that.”

“because i mean it. also, one more thing.”

“yeah?”

“please don’t ever call me by my whole name again.”

“only if you mess up the kitchen that bad again.”

“hey!”

“also, why were you baking in the first place?”

“because i wanted to cheer you up,” he says, sheepish, and you want to do nothing more than hold his face and kiss him silly.

“you’re an idiot, baby,” you say, cradling his face in your hands. “but you’re my idiot. and i love you.”

seungcheol’s blushing face is quite possibly enough to get you through tomorrow.

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @viewvuu

#alternative title: everything everywhere flour at once #scoups #scoups fluff #seungcheol #choi seungcheol #choi seungcheol fluff #seventeen #seventeen fluff #svt #svt fluff #fluff #coups #waldau writes #req

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lvrdrafts · 1 year

Text

A Fragile Mind or a Fragile Heart?

Summary : You go to a bar with your friends where you see your boyfriend there talking to his best friend about how clingy you are, you take this too heart and try giving him space but sometimes a little space may seem too much

A/N : Imma make this into three parts because i make all my stories two parts even though they can be cut into one but like i have so many ideas with this

Part 2 Part 3

The lively atmosphere of the crowded bar buzzed with laughter, clinking glasses, and pulsating music. You and your friends had decided to let loose and enjoy their Friday night. Amidst the sea of people, a familiar face caught your eye—Bucky Barnes, the man she had fallen for.

A rush of excitement surged through you as you nudged your friends, pointing discreetly in Bucky's direction. However, the crowded bar was not conducive to catching someone's attention. You watched, longing in your eyes, as Bucky sat at a table a few seats away with his friend Sam. Curiosity and hope propelled you forward. With a deep breath, you maneuvered your way through the thronging crowd, inching closer to Bucky's table. Finally reaching a spot within earshot, you paused, straining your ears to hear their conversation.

To your dismay, the words that reached your ears were far from what you had anticipated. Bucky's voice was tinged with frustration as he spoke to Sam. "Sam, I don't know what to do anymore. Y/N can be so clingy sometimes. I love her, but I can't breathe. I need space." You couldn't believe what you were hearing, the pain washing over you like a tidal wave. Did bucky really think you were clingy? Yeah you were always touchy with him but he was the first boyfriend you had to be fine with your clinginess. What if he left you because you were too clingy, maybe you just had to give him some space.

Racing out of the bar, you hastily concocted an excuse to your worried friends. You sought refuge in the solitude of her own home, where you could finally let all the tears held captive spill. Alone, you crumbled, your body quaking with the weight of Bucky's words.

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

As the sun rose, casting its warm hues through the windows, you stirred from your slumber. Normally, you would greet the day with a gentle kiss, rousing Bucky from his sleep. But today, you silently slipped out of bed, leaving him to rest undisturbed.

Confusion tugged at the corners of Bucky's mind as he slowly woke, his eyes scanning the room for your familiar presence. Sensing your absence, he blinked away the remnants of sleep, trying to make sense of the subtle shift in their routine.

Moments later, Bucky joined you in the kitchen, his brows furrowed with puzzlement. You stood by the stove, engrossed in watching the morning news. He approached you, pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head, his lips barely grazing her soft hair.

"Good morning, baby," you greeted "How did you sleep?"

Bucky's confusion deepened, a knot forming in his stomach. This wasn't the affectionate, playful greeting he had come to expect. He settled beside her, struggling to find the right words. "Um, I slept alright, I guess." But Bucky didn't question in it because he liked having that space.

You turned to face him, your eyes filled with a mix of emotions he couldn't decipher. "Well I have to go run some errands today so I'll be busy the whole day" you say walking towards the bedroom with Bucky following her like a lost puppy "but I'll be home before dinner!" You say while looking for clothes.

Bucky waited but you didn't say anything after, you just went to look for some clothes and started to put some shoes on. Normally you would ask Bucky to come with you, but today you didn't. He didn't feel good about how much distance you were giving him. "Well Baby I'll see you later" you say closing the door without a goodbye kiss.

Maybe Bucky was just overreacting or maybe he did something wrong. Either way he couldn't decide which one was the reason.

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

You come home come home early from an exhausting day and all you wanted was Bucky, but you had to show him you weren't clingy or he would leave you. You had a plan—a way to show Bucky that you weren't clingy, that you understood the need for space. With swift movements, you busied yourself in the kitchen, preparing a meal you knew he loved.

As the aroma of the food filled the air, you set the table with care, arranging the plates and utensils meticulously. You finished your own meal quickly, not wanting to be perceived as encroaching upon Bucky's space. In you heart, you hoped that this act of giving him room would ease the strain on their relationship.

When Bucky finally returned home, exhaustion etched across his features, he was taken aback to find a prepared meal waiting for him. Confusion flickered in his eyes as he looked around, his voice laden with curiosity. "Y/N, where's your food?"

With a small smile, you responded softly, "I ate already. I didn't want to bother you and i was really hungry."

Bucky's brows furrowed as he took a seat at the table, staring at the empty space beside him. Something felt off, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He tried to brush off the unease, focusing on his meal, but a nagging feeling persisted.

After dinner both settled on the couch, Bucky tried to make room for you to snuggle against him, eager to bridge the growing distance. However, you gracefully bypassed the invitation, choosing to sit on a separate chair instead. The weight of your absence settled heavily between them, and Bucky's heart sank further. He put on a movie and you both watched it in silence and without the normal warmth.

This routine had been happening for a week and Bucky started to get tired of it. He didn't realize how much he missed your touch. He didn't realize how much physical touch was in the relationship. He knew he had to confront you soon before he went insane.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader angst #bucky x reader angst

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thepixelelf · 1 year

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ah! love - 2

genres: married life au, family au, fluff, comedy [best friends to lovers?] relationship: husbands 95 line x reader (feat. baby doremi line) words: 3.4k warnings and notes: mentions of alcohol; coarse language. y'all wanted more and so did I. any stuff in this au will likely not be chronological. I literally had to think about how to tell a kid they're adopted for this it sucked. (I still love it)

ah! love masterlist

Seungkwan learns a new word.

Seungkwan, like all other five (and a half!) year-olds, knows everything.

He knows how to cook eggs and how many sides an octagon has. He knows to always ask papa Jeonghan for extra sweets because he's the only one who ever says yes after you've said no. (His other parents also say yes, sometimes, if you've left the room, but Jeonghan is always the fastest to cave.) He knows Chan is a baby who doesn't know anything.

And he knows he and Vernon are The Twins.

Because when it's time for dinner, and Seungkwan is playing with Vernon in their room, papa Joshua always asks you, "Can you grab the twins?"

When papa Seungcheol comes home from (well, hm, maybe Seungkwan doesn't know everything) wherever he goes when they go to kindergarten, he kisses you on the cheek in the entryway, kicks off his shoes, then crouches down, arms open and awaiting for Seungkwan and Vernon to barrel into them, and growls happily, "There are my twins!"

And when he found you in the kitchen one night, while you were sitting on the counter (which is not allowed!!), with papa Jeonghan standing between your legs for reasons unclear to Seungkwan, you both looked surprised. Seungkwan concluded this was because papa Jeonghan had just whispered, "The twins are asleep," and Seungkwan was, in fact, not.

Which is why he scoffs at the older girl who came up to him and Vernon on the playground. Vernon is busy building his sand tunnels, but the girl has Seungkwan's full attention.

"You are not twins," she says.

"Yes we are."

She is unrelenting. "No. My big brothers are twins, and they look exactly the same."

Seungkwan looks over at Vernon, who's now mixing wet sand and dry sand into a big ol' pile of sand soup. They don't look alike at all, he knows. His hair is black, and Vernon's is brown. His cheeks are rounder — sometimes you pretend to bite into them before planting a kiss — while Vernon's are a bit pinker.

"We are twins," Seungkwan says again, because maybe not all twins are like her big brothers. Maybe some twins are like him and Vernon.

Besides, his papas say they're twins. Why wouldn't they be?

The girl crosses her arms. "My big brothers have the same birthday."

Seungkwan is about to bite back, say something like maybe not all twins have the same birthday, meanie! but Vernon waves his hand in the air, yelling out, "Ms Han!"

Their teacher comes over, bending and putting her hands on her knees as she asks Vernon what's going on.

He points at the girl. "She's saying we're not twins because we don't have the same birthday."

"Oh." Ms Han scratches the back of her neck, "Well, sweetie, the thing is…"

⭒

Jeonghan's shaky eyes glance at the rear-view mirror again, half checking for cars and half checking up on the babies in the back seat.

Seungkwan has been quiet the entire eight minutes they've been driving, which might be normal if he was any kindergartner other than Seungkwan. Vernon can get talkative too, but right now he's completely silent, immersed in squishing and un-squishing his favourite toy — a plushie shaped like a baked bean (Jeonghan has no idea where you found that thing or why Vernon is obsessed with it) — between his tiny fingers.

Of course, Jeonghan had to be the one on pick-up duty the day one of their teachers finally gave them the whole, you may have to explain adoption talk.

"So," he says, awkward, trying to smile. "How was school?"

Vernon squeezes his toy again. "It was," he says, and nothing else.

God, Jeonghan needs backup.

As soon as Jeonghan pulls up to the house, unbuckles the twins from their booster seats, and ushers them inside, Vernon pulls off his shoes and dashes into the house — to you, Jeonghan is sure. Vernon doesn't play favourites except that he does.

Seungkwan, though, looks up at Jeonghan and tugs his pant leg, saying, "Papa Shua wants to talk to you in his room."

Which isn't true, of course; Seungkwan hasn't been all of thirty seconds in the house, and Joshua isn't even home, out on an errand. But Jeonghan can take a social cue, even if it is from a five year old. As he climbs the stairs, he pulls out his phone and messages the guys to try to come home as soon as they can.

⭒

You're reading to Chan on the living room couch, him tucked under your left arm and a quiet Vernon who's wormed his way under your right arm clutching your shirt like you're both afloat in open water, when Seungkwan walks up, climbs onto your lap, (shoving the book out of the way in the process,) and presses his face into your stomach. He mumbles something you can't quite hear.

You chuckle, bringing a hand up to run over his soft hair. "What's that, baby?"

Slowly, he lifts his head, his eyelids low with the gaze of a war-hardened veteran. "They're lying," he says, no nonsense in sight.

Your hand pauses. "Huh?"

"We gotta leave. They lied. Could be lying about anything."

You try to smile past the confusion. "What do you mean?"

Seungkwan, sweet, adorable, chubby-cheeked Seungkwan whom you love with all your heart, fists the material of your top in both his hands, growling in a way you somehow know is protective.

"We gotta get outta here."

⭒-⭒-⭒

"Please get me out of here."

Joshua snorted at your plea, his voice soft and teasing through the phone. “What happened to ‘living out your twenties’?”

You let your eyes roam over your surroundings — a house party (a frat one in particular, you were pretty sure) with flashing coloured lights, late 2000’s top 40 songs, and what must've been over a hundred drunken 18-22 year olds. A haze hung in the air that smelled like the unholy combination of cotton candy, root beer, green apple, and skunk. A younger friend you’d made at your internship had invited you, but they were nowhere to be seen.

“I take it back,” you said, walking through the house in search of your friend. “I’m old now. I’m a hermit.”

“You’re not old.”

You scoffed. “You’re only saying that because you don’t wanna admit you’re old.”

“No, I’m serious,” Joshua argued, though you could tell he was smiling as he spoke. “We’re only like a quarter of the way through our lives— there’s still so much ahead.”

“Okay Socrates, whatever.” You pulled your phone away from your ear when you felt it vibrate. Your friend answered your last message, telling you they were heading home to take care of another friend they trust, and that they’d text you when they got there. “I’m just trying to get out of here so I can go home, steep a nice cup of decaf tea, and, I dunno, take up knitting or something. Granny style.”

Some shuffling happened on the other end of the line, and you thought you heard Joshua say something, but not to you.

“Anyway,” you sighed, winding your way through the crowd to finally leave that steam room of a house party. “I just called to complain. I’m gonna call a taxi.”

“Don’t bother. I’m on my way.”

You paused, your hand on a stair railing. “What?”

“I’m coming to pick you up,” Joshua spoke with all the nonchalance of someone ordering coffee.

Glancing at your phone screen, you countered with, “It’s almost midnight.”

“Yeah, well, I’m already driving, so it’d actually be more inconsiderate of you to tell me to turn around if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Joshua…”

"Shush," he tutted. "Just stay on the line with me until I get there. And drink some water if you can." There was a pause as you heard noises through the phone. Joshua added, "But only if you find a sealed water bottle, or pour the water yourself."

You finally reached the front entrance, content to wait outdoors for your unexpected ride since the weather wasn't too bad. "Do I sound drunk to you?"

"You didn't drink?"

"I mean, I had one," you said with a shrug he couldn't even see.

"Well maybe that explains why you're not having a good time."

"You're such a bad influence, Shua."

"Saying that to your designated driver is so rude, just so you know."

"I didn't ask you to DD!"

Joshua sighed playfully. "Yeah, yeah. As if you don't know we'd do anything for you."

Mouth open, you fumbled with what words to say in your head.

Did you know that? Maybe you did.

You knew that if you and Joshua had switched places, you would've done exactly the same thing he was doing now.

And why did he say "we"?

Before you could vocalize anything, Joshua said, "I see you. Turn around."

And there it was— Joshua's tiny, bright blue hatchback, affectionately dubbed the Blueberry by you and your three boys.

Speaking of whom…

"Jeonghan?" You blinked at the man in the passenger seat when he rolled down the window.

"Hey, devil," he let the nickname fall from his lips with a smirk. It was a new one, this moniker for you, his payback for you jokingly calling him an angel. He jerked his head in a gesture towards the back seat. "We're busting you out of this joint."

You huffed out a laugh at his joke, yanking open the back door of the Blueberry. Immediately, a pair of large, grabby hands pulled you inside. "Whoa— Seungcheol, you too?"

Too tired apparently to answer with words, Seungcheol only nodded, reaching over your shoulder to take your seatbelt, extend it over you, and buckle it in. He settled back down in the middle seat rather than the more spacious one on the other side of the car. Closing his eyes and crossing his arms, he relaxed his entire body and let his head fall onto your shoulder, all without a word.

"Were you asleep?" you asked him quietly as Joshua pulled away from the curb.

Seungcheol just breathed in deeply and leaned more of his weight on you.

"Guys…" You turned your attention to the two boys in front. "You didn't have to drag him along too. Did you wake him up for this?"

Joshua scoffed. "As if. You think I'd poke a sleeping bear on purpose?"

Twisting in his seat to face you, Jeonghan smiled in that sweet yet devious way you like so much. "He was worried about you all night, devil. Paced around the apartment for two hours, going on and on about 'kids these days' before he tired himself out and zonked on the couch. We tried to leave quietly, but he woke up and insisted on coming once he found out it was you on the phone."

"Oh," you said at the same time you thought you heard Seungcheol mumble, "Shut up."

You softly patted Seungcheol's arm, your fingers brushing against his with the way his hands were wrapped around his own biceps. "You know I can take care of myself, right?"

Seungcheol didn't answer, as you should've expected. Eyes still closed, he just flexed his fingers to hook one around your pinky and keep your hand where it was.

Meeting your eyes in the rear-view mirror, Joshua said, "We'd better get him home before he actually falls asleep back there. No way am I carrying him up the stairs."

"What do ya say, devil?" Jeonghan prompted. "Sleepover at ours?"

You smiled. "How could I ever say no to you guys?"

⭒-⭒-⭒

"Seungkwan," you say softly, a little bit confused and a little bit amused. "Who's lying?"

He sits up on your lap and cups both his hands around his mouth, only to not-really-whisper, "Parents."

"Me?" You point at yourself.

"Nooooooo!" Seungkwan whines with a pout, putting his hands on your shoulders. "Our other parents!"

You think about how Jeonghan was the one who went to pick up the boys from kindergarten... and how he's nowhere in sight now. "Papa Jeonghan is lying?"

Seungkwan nods emphatically, and to your surprise, Vernon nods too at your side. Chan sits in rapt attention of his older brother, who is probably blowing his four year old mind.

"And papa Shua," Seungkwan adds. "And papa Seungcheol."

You furrow your brows and tilt your head. "What are they lying about?"

"They said we are twins," Seungkwan finally reveals, and it starts to dawn on you. His words become frantic, voice wavering. "But Ms Han said we can't be twins because we have different birthdays, so we can't be twins bio-- bio--" He hiccups. "--logically."

"That's a big word," you say, because it's a struggle to respond with anything else right away. What-- Ms Han is teaching biology now?

Vernon gets out from under your arm and sits on his knees beside you on the couch. He holds up his hand for a high five. "Biologically."

Still a bit shocked, you high five him, then Seungkwan when he also puts his hand up. To be fair, that's what you do when they learn new, long words. The tears brimming in Seungkwan's eyes shouldn't deter learning encouragement, right?

"That's why we gotta go." Seungkwan sniffles. "Maybe they lie to you also. Maybe they are not biologically your husbands!"

God-- the parenting books don't teach shit like this.

"Seungkwan..." you start, though you don't know how to form the next sentence.

Vernon takes your hand and wraps all his tiny fingers around it. "Let's run away," he says with a determined nod, like a secret lover in a fairy tale.

Chan's eyes widen, and he throws himself around your middle. "I gonna save you!"

"Boys-- Wait--"

The front door bursts open to reveal a dishevelled Seungcheol. His hair is wild and fluffy, his tie loosened, and his suit jacket is in his hand rather than worn. He's barely thrown his shoes off by the time he catches sight of Seungkwan's teary eyes and your slightly-panicked expression. Immediately, he jogs towards the couch in, to you, obvious concern. "What's going on--"

But before he can get too close, Seungkwan lets out a terrified, demon-like shriek. He picks up the closest item -- the storybook you'd been reading to Chan -- and chucks it as hard as he can towards your husband.

It only hits the floor at Seungcheol's feet, but it causes him to freeze. He gawks at the book, then raises his head to look at you and the way your boys have all wrapped their little arms as tight as they can around whatever parts of you they can reach, their heads tucked in, hiding.

You can see it in his eyes-- him registering that they're scared of him.

"I--" His expression tightens, lips pressing together to stop from quivering.

From seemingly nowhere, Jeonghan appears, putting a comforting hand on Seungcheol's arm and pulling him out of the room. He whispers, "Let's give them a minute."

Both your husbands make eye contact with you as you tentatively hug your sons, and you nod, silently letting them know that you'll be okay.

("What the hell was that?" Seungcheol whispers harshly as soon as he and Jeonghan make it upstairs. "You said to come home ASAP-- I thought someone got hurt!"

Jeonghan crosses his arms. "Why wouldn't I just say someone was hurt?"

"You have got to be clearer in your texts.")

"Seungkwan." You readjust your body, trying not to jostle your sons too much. "Seungkwan, baby, can you look at me please?"

He lifts his head to meet your eyes.

"Did Ms Han tell you what 'biologically' means?"

Seungkwan's face scrunches up as he tries to find an answer to your question, and in that moment, Vernon sits up. "Real," he says.

"Now, that's not quite right," you tell them, and at that, all three of your boys look at you for an explanation. "A 'biological parent' is one of two people who made a baby, and that is their 'biological child."

The boys stay quiet, taking in the information. Thank goodness-- you don't want to have to skirt around the topic of "making" children.

"Biological twins," you continue, "are when two babies are made together, at the same time. Which is why they have the same birthday."

"We are not twins," Vernon reaffirms.

"That's right."

Seungkwan frowns. "Why do you call us 'the twins'?"

"It's just a nickname, sweetie. You and Vernon were born in the same year, and you do everything together, so for me and your other parents, you are kind of like twins." You smile. "Do you want us to stop calling you that? It's okay if you don't like it."

Putting a hand on his chin, Seungkwan ponders seriously for more than a few seconds.

"You can always change your mind at any time, okay?" you say, and he nods, continuing to think.

Chan tugs at your sleeve, and you turn to him. "Are you bio...ly marry?"

You chuckle. "No. Marriage is a little different-- your papas and I decided we wanted to be a family, so we chose each other, and to stay together. And now..." You boop Chan's nose, then Seungkwan's then Vernon's. "...you boys are part of our family, too."

Vernon perks up. "Did you choose us too?"

"Yup." You reach up a hand to ruffle through his brown hair. "And you know what? That makes you special. I may not be your biological parent, but I chose you three to be my sons, and I love you so much. That makes me your parent, don't you think?"

All three boys nod, Vernon still beaming, and Chan's hands clutching your sleeve. Seungkwan relaxes in your lap.

You hear the sound of the front door opening again, and, much slower than the last person, Joshua enters the house with two bags full of groceries. Chan pushes himself off you and slides off the couch to run towards Joshua, bouncing in front of him with his arms in the air. "Uppies."

Without a second beat, Joshua puts down the grocery bags on the bench by the door and scoops Chan into his arms. He walks up to the couch. "I just got Jeonghan's text. What's going on?"

You just smile and shake your head, taking one of Seungkwan's and Vernon's hands in each of yours. "And you know your papas love you more than anything too, right?"

While the boys nod, Joshua just blinks, totally lost. Chan hugs him tighter.

"I bet Seungcheol is a little bit sad about how you guys acted when he got home--"

Seungkwan pouts and drops his head. "I'm sorry..."

You squeeze his hand. "You don't have to be sorry, baby." You tighten your hand around Vernon's as well. "Either of you. You didn't understand something and it made you scared. That's okay. But now Seungcheol might not understand something, so we should help him, right?"

"How?" Vernon asks.

You tap your chin and look upwards, pretending to think. "Hmmm... How about we go upstairs and give him a biiiiiig hug!"

It turns out to be a great idea, because you find Seungcheol in his room, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking desolate. Seungkwan and Vernon climb him like monkeys, though, and they wrap themselves around him, press kisses to his face, and as soon as you mouth to Seungcheol that you'll explain later, all is right in the world again.

There's no brighter a smile on Cheol's face than when he's with his sons.

You stand, watching, with your arms crossed, satisfied with the scene until Jeonghan comes up and stands next to you, mimicking your stance. You swat at his arm, to which he reacts with such a pained facial expression, you'd think you just cut it off.

"I cannot believe you abandoned me to deal with that on my own!"

"Hey! I called for backup, didn't I?"

You roll your eyes. "A load of good that did."

"Aw, c'mon, devil..." Jeonghan slides closer to you, then wraps his arms around you and leans in to press his lips to your cheek. "Can I kiss it better?"

⭒

Joshua watches you and the twins run into Seungcheol's room with no further explanation, and he turns his attention to the youngest in his arms. "You wouldn't happen to know what's going on, would you?"

Chan shakes his head. "I'm four."

"Right."

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bylertruth3r · 8 months

Text

Mike and Will literally share shoes (and Will might be sleeping in Mike's room) and might not be dating yet when they start dating they're gonna share a whole closet and flirt with each other about how good they look in each other's clothes and just being obnoxious (I will rewatch those scenes so many times) what if they're sharing/swapping shoes because it's the 80's and they're in a really homophobic and conservative town and if they want to give little hints that they're dating and want to openly show it (to at least their friends) they have to be subtle about it? and maybe when they're at home they share clothes without feeling like they have to be careful with how they act around each other and can be openly affectionate (like them in s2)

Thank you for pointing it out @cler1csfink

Confirmation that they're the same shoes and they're both size 10 so yeah they're sharing shoes

and Mike brought these shoes from Hawkins which means the puma suede belong to Will

and in a leaked footage El and Mike broke up/ were already broken up because Mike says "we'll still be friends" and "i wanted to tell you first" which makes me think he might have came out to her (and in that video he was literally wearing his boyfriend's shoes)

video from @nowmemoriees

in s1 during that scene on the train tracks they're friends and in the leaked video they were wearing similar clothes to what they were wearing in that s1 scene where they were friends and could trust each other. i think Mike's gonna come out to her (as gay) there which would explain why El was crying, and why Mike said "i wanted to talk to you first", in s1 Mike said "friends tell the truth" to El and in s5 it's Mike's turn to be honest about himself and maybe he'll tell her he's in love with Will or maybe he'll tell her that he's dating Will

it's the same song that played when Robin came out to Steve, obviously Steve had a crush on Robin but she's a lesbian and can only love him platonically while even though Mike tried to love El romantically he couldn't do it because he's gay and he didn't even bother to close his eyes and kiss her back

plus in a deleted script it says he was mad at himself

and the song playing when Mike and El were kissing in s3 "can't fight this feeling" is about someone being in love with their friend and not knowing what to do about it while already being in a relationship with someone else so it's about Mike being in love with Will and not knowing what to do so he represses it and pushes him away to get over him but then realizing it's not working (which is something he realized at the end of s3) and he's gay and he want on a double date with Will and Lumax after that

and Mike in s4 was trying to be normal and might be into new things (men, because dnd is not new)

and

and in s4 "in the closet at rink o mania" started playing Mike took what Will said "and us?" as romantic and felt the need to clarify that they're friends and Will said they used to be best friends and the camera panned back to Mike plus synth music is his thing since he has "Smalltown Boy" (gay song) as his first song on his spotify playlist, it's a song about a gay man leaving his homophobic town to start a new life and Finn said he wants Mike to leave Hawkins

and he has a "one way" sign pointing to his closet because he's gay and closeted and in his room he has a poster of a shirtless man while the others (Steve, B*lly, and Lucas' "friends") all have women posters because they like women

Mike being obsessed with Superman? and him having a poster of a shirtless man while Steve, B*lly and the tigers all had posters of women in bikinis (because they like girls) Will has a skinny pink panther poster in his room which symbolizes his type in men (Mike) Mike has a shirtless man poster and a buff male dragon poster which symbolizes his type in men (Will) (he's not really buff but he's stronger than Mike) they're each other's type and love each other plus you can see Mike looking at Will's arms during some scenes

also in s3 he was happy about Dustin having a gf and asked him about her but then in s4 when he "finds out" Will has a crush on a "girl" he doesn't ask him about "her" and acts distant (he was pretending he didn't care but he was jealous) and he asked Will about the painting because he was hoping it was for him (it was)

and he realized Will loves him back in the van scene, Mike wants to feel needed and Will needs him, Mike felt lost without Will, Will felt lost without Mike, Will loves him, Mike loves him back, they both think the other doesn't love them, they will prove each other wrong in s5 when Mike finds out Will lied about the painting and loves him back, they love each other the way they want to be loved

and he was so happy to see Will drew a heart on his shield

which is literally an engagement ring, no hands because they'll be more than friends in s5

they've been filming a lot at that farm.. and Ross and his wife said that they enjoyed eyewitness

and Lukas and Mike both have internalized homophobia (Lukas was dating a girl to be normal and then he breaks up with his gf and starts dating Philip,his male best friend)

and if this leak is actually correct there would be another parallel. the episode 2 of s5 is called "the vanishing of ***** Wheeler and if Holly goes missing then Mike and Will are gonna go looking for her in the upside down and maybe they'll kiss there (maybe that's where Mike's gonna get injured)

because in eyewitness Lukas gets injured and his boyfriend stays with him and he kisses his forehead, Lukas' dad sees it (he's ok with it)

and in s2 Mike stayed with Will at the hospital so now it's Will's turn

they've been filming a lot at that farm.. and Ross and his wife said that they enjoyed eyewitness and they filmed at like 3 or 4 different farms (one of them has swings) and they're literally filming at one right now

more s5 leaks and Mike and El staying friends after the break up and Mike being worried for Will <33 and Mike and Robin bonding over their partners being in danger

Will is wearing one of Mike's shirts in s5, Mike wore something similar in s3 it's a gap shirt and Eddie said Mike wears gap shirts and Will has never worn something like this in the previous seasons and he didn't bring that many clothes back to Hawkins so he's gonna have to wear Mike's if he's staying at Mike's (the Wheelers added 2 chairs to their breakfast table and Will's tiger plushie is in Mike's room, it makes me think that they're already dating in the scene because Will is wearing blue yellow and green which are Byler's colors

Noah liking another byler edit? fork found in the kitchen. pic from @iamforbyler from here . there are hints that Mike and Will's first kiss will be in s5 episode 7 (during Jopper's first kiss there were boxes that said MW705, Mike and Will s5 episode 7) they definitely told him to promote Byler again to introduce Byler as boyfriends to the GA and Millie is not promoting mlvn anymore and when they asked her what her favorite pop culture couple was she said the couple from twlight instead of mlvn

Will's wearing Mike's black jeans, the blue shirt looks like something s2 Mike would wear but the undershirt looks like Will's in s4. he's just stealing his boyfriend's clothes atp because Will has never worn black jeans before and he's wearing blue (Mike's color) and Mike's the only one in the party who has worn black jeans and Will might be staying at Mike's because his tiger plushie was in Mike's room and the Wheelers added 2 chairs to their breakfast table plus Will has to stay at Mike's since he doesn't have a house in Hawkins and the cabin is too small for all the Byers to live in.

maybe he's wearing Mike's black jeans from s5 instead of the s4 ones but either way they're still Mike's jeans since Will has never worn black jeans before s5 and Mike has, Will is stealing his boyfriend's clothes, plus Mike is wearing Will's shoes in s5 <33

Byler is so obviously gonna happen even without all those proofs because they gave mlvn the stancy storyline of Nancy not being able to say "I love you" to Steve because she's in love with Jonathan and they didn't give that storyline to Jopper, Lumax and Jancy or even Duzie which are healthy couples who don't lie about who they are to each other and never felt unloved by their partners, and Mike wants to feel needed and Will needs him and El doesn't and Millie said El realized she's her own superhero and that she's gonna figure out who she is without Mike and Millie is not promoting mlvn anymore

Mike and Will spent s3 acting like they were the exes because in s2 Mike was overly affectionate with Will but he stopped doing that when he got a gf because he saw what he did as romantic so in his mind being affectionate with Will even just hugging him or just holding his hand like he did in s2 would be cheating because he's in love with Will and he's gay

Mike becomes less and less interested in El the more feminine she becomes, it becomes more difficult for him to pretend he's straight i mean he "fell in love" with her when she looked like a boy and people kept calling her a boy..

Mike probably thought she was a boy at first, everyone kept calling El the boy with the buzzcut at first in s1 and Mike said "that's not Will" instead of "that's a girl" and interesting thing is the more feminine El becomes the less interested in her Mike becomes, he probably thought El was a boy at first and she was wearing a yellow shirt (Will's color) maybe she reminded him of Will?

I mean Mike being gay aside who would you rather for him to be with?

A, with someone who doesn't understand him and he feels like he has to change himself to be with and who makes him feel insicure?

B, with someone who he feels like he can fully be himself with and who understands him and who puts him on the first place and makes him feel loved? B right? with Will

Jancy had their "we're just friends" moment and they kissed in 2 and Jopper had their "it's just 2 friends getting together for a nice dinner" moment and they kissed in s4 , Lumax had their "she's not my girlfriend" moment and they kissed in s2 and Byler had their "we're friends, we're friends" moment (started by Mike who doesn't know Will is gay) and they'll kiss in s5, there were no moments like these between Dustin and Lucas because they're not in love with each other

Byler's first cameo in a book and they're kissing and holding hands<33 it's about Alina wanting to ask a guy out and she catches the guy (Ben) kissing his boyfriend (Janos), there's carved "W+M" on the tree and a "byler" sign in the second pic, they probably asked permission to Netflix and people who worked on st to add them which makes Byler already canon? the author of the book reversed the arrow on Mike's pocket to point at Will.. and it's close to his heart.. that's adorable

pic from here @sususu34

originally El was supposed to die in s1 (I'm glad they didn't kill her) and they were already planning to make Will in love with Mike since s1? plus if they wanted to make Will move on they would've given him a bf in the previous seasons like with Dustin and Suzie because Max didn't like Dustin back. So basically Mike and Will are gonna get together in s5

JEALOUS MIKE WHEELER WELCOME BACK, Will getting his own love triangle as he should, or maybe it's just Mike since it says "a love interest" not "a new love interest".. I kinda want to see Mike being in pain for a bit tho since I had to witness Will being in pain for 4 seasons, I kinda want a guy to flirt with Will and Will tries to get to know the character to move on from Mike and Mike gets mad and jealous about it, although they did say there were no new characters in it.. and the only new boy is Derek who's Holly's age so maybe the love interest is just Mike, and Mike is gonna be Will's boyfriend, they literally just confirmed Byler because they said Will is getting a boyfriend and they said they won't add any major characters in s5 so that means Mike is gonna be Will's boyfriend

they literally just confirmed Byler is endgame because they said Will is getting a boyfriend and the Duffers said they won't add any major characters in s5 so Mike's gonna be Will's boyfriend since the only new characters are a woman a boy who's 10 and a family with 2 little kids and the Duffers said that Will's emotional arc (his relationship with Mike) is gonna tie up the whole season, if they wanted to give Will another boyfriend they would've done it in the previous seasons (like how they handled Dustin's unrequited love for Max in s2 and gave him a gf in s3) instead of making Will in love with Mike for 4 seasons

Mike is gonna be Will's love interest and boyfriend and they know it that's why they only allowed their subscribers to see this tweet to avoid a lawsuit, leak here, this leaker is really reliable and from Reddit

There's a leak about how Mike and Will are gonna clean each other's wounds in s5 episode 2 like Jancy did in s1, maybe Mike is gonna get hurt while protecting Will from something and Will is probably gonna be there scolding him while cleaning Mike's wounds and Mike is just staring at Will's face and not listening to a single word and blushing

this leaker has a source that was an extra for 2 weeks, take everything as a grain of salt, nothing is confirmed, Mike's gonna kiss Will first (and it's gonna be angsty) after he finds out Will lied about the painting and loves him back, the kiss is gonna happen halfway through the season or later

So according to a leak Mike has finally accepted that he's gay and he's not trying to be normal (straight) anymore, and he's discovering things about himself, he's gonna kiss Will first

So Finn's new st playlist (for s5) is really interesting.. Mike is gay, "it's a passing phase" "give it a hundred years, it won't go away' (from "angst in my pants")"I don't want to be the one whose coming out first" (it's from "don't ask me to explain) Mike wants Will to come out first and to confess first, and "should you need a love that's true, it's me" (from "what you're doing), Will needs Mike and Mike knows it, Mike and Will both have "just what I needed" as the last song in their playlists because they need each other, Mike also has a song about dreaming and thinking about a person they know they're not supposed to, it's his POV of Byler

This is the playlist (STurn), Finn makes playlists for characters he plays for inspiration

Mike tried to lie to himself and pretend that he could love El but he can't (because he's gay and in love with Will), there's a song called "don't ask me anything" in his playlist and the lyrics are "it's so easy to lie to myself and pretend i could love you but i can't" the last lyrics are about a failed relationship with a girl

in s5 episode 4 there will be a flashback with 8 yo Mike and Will and 13 yo Jonathan, the fact that they're spending so much time on Byler (and even giving us Miwi flashbacks) and that we already got confirmation that Will's gonna have a boyfriend (it's Mike) should tell y'all everything (they're gonna get together), they spent s2 and s4 together and they're gonna be a team (jopper parallel) in s5 and spend most of s5 together, they're gonna film the scene in early July, Mike's the only one with lines so the scene is gonna be shot from his POV of Byler

Mike and Will are gonna spend most of s5 together because they're gonna be a team (jopper parallel) and they're gonna have scenes with Rovickie where they're gonna be a group, Mike's obviously gay because otherwise they wouldn't have put him with other queer people, plus El's gonna have a separate arc from Mike (because they're gonna break up and she's gonna be more independent)

we're gonna get a scene of Byler riding a bike with Holly, Holly's gonna have to thirdwheel Mike and Will, good luck to her, Will's gonna spend most of S5 with Mike and they're gonna be a team (jopper parallel) and if Will's boyfriend was gonna be another boy they would've made Will spend most of S5 with that guy so basically Mike's gonna be Will's boyfriend

Pics here

Will's staying at Mike's which would explain the Wheelers adding 2 chairs and it would explain Mike and Will sharing clothes/items and it would explain Will hanging out with Holly, plus the Byers don't have their old house anymore

Now that we know that Will's staying at Mike's house we're gonna get so much domestic content like them sharing clothes/shoes, them sharing Mike's bed, them taking care of Holly together, them kissing, them going to school together .. They're so married

the mlvn make out scene people are talking about is just a kiss at the beginning of s5 which is gonna be their last kiss (a break up kiss?) which is gonna parallel stancy's last kiss in episode 1 s2 before they broke up and Nancy got with Jonathan ,I think they're doing that to compare Byler's first kiss (which is gonna be passionate and desperate) to mlvn's last kiss, also more confirmation that the painting is gonna be really important in both Mike and Will's storylines, a byler got these things confirmed by 2 sources but they said to not worry because this is not bad for Byler, it's actually good for us, production is also trying to keep Byler hidden (they're gonna get together),

Pics here

They're trying to keep Byler hidden because they're gonna date and the painting is gonna be really important to their storylines because that's how they're gonna get together

happy 2 years anniversary to the most obvious foreshadowing ever (making willelmike walk in their love triangle formation and making El walk away from them and picking up the same dead flowers Mike gave her at the airport because their relationship is dead and making Mike stay with Will and putting Byler with other couples and putting them in the center because the're gonna focus on that relationship in s5 and making them breath in sync while the other couples were holding hands, and they made the music pick up while they showed us the couples, Mike and Will are gonna get together in s5)

video of the scene here

so from what we know so far: a guy is gonna hit on Will and Will won't reciprocate, Jonathan hates that guy for hitting on Will and Mike and Will's relationship is gonna be extremely important in s5 and they're gonna be a team, it's kinda obvious what's gonna happen (Mike and Will are gonna get together), what if Will starts dating Chance and starts hanging out with him more to get over Mike and Mike gets mad and jealous about it and they fight about it and then we have another Byler rain fight but this time Mike's the jealous one? btw Jonathan HATES Chance for hitting on Will, he's a Byler shipper fr, pics of the leak here

Mike said he's the only one that CARES about Will because he's in love with him and he said he cares about El because he's trying (and failing) to love her the way he loves Will but when El called him out on him not loving her anymore he got defensive because he's not in love with her ,he's in love with Will and he's gay

Mike only said those things because he thinks El commissioned the painting and he felt like he owed it to El and you can tell that because he only started saying those things after Will said "you're the heart" and they called the soundtrack of the scene "you're the heart" because Mike now thinks the things Will said in the van were from El, in this scene Mike was trying to recreate the shed scene but the difference is no one pushed Mike into saying those things to Will and he didn't repeat any word he heard from others when he spoke to Will, in s5 he's gonna realize Will loves him back and that he lied about the painting and he's gonna kiss him, Mike likes to plagiarize things, pics here

THE OG PARTY IS BACK and so is the Byler height difference <33, Mike and Will being the IT couple in high school <33, Will is sitting in front of Mike during lunch <33 they're gonna be such a cute couple i just know it, they're gonna be the couple who plays footsies under the table, Holly has a gay thing in her room, maybe to support Mike being gay?

only the couples said to each other or about each other that they were "friends" while the actual platonic friends (Dustin and Lucas) never said it because they never felt the need to, and Mike said it about Will while not even knowing that Will is gay and in love with him.. he said it because he was thinking of Will romantically so he said "we're friends, we're friends" to convince himself not Will

the Duffers called Mike and El their E.T and Elliot (which are platonic friends) and the dead flowers El picked up at the end of s4 were the same flowers Mike gave her at the airport, dead flowers represent a dead relationship, hopefully after the break up they'll be able to communicate more and to actually get to know each other and rhat they'll be actual friends, Mike does love El but he loves her platonically even though he's been tryng to force himself into loving her romantically but he can't because he's gay and in love with Will, parallels here

Byler, Jancy and Lumax all held hands in the same episode in s2

Byler's parallels with Jancy: Nancy couldn't love Steve because she's in love with Jonathan, Mike can't love El because he's gay and in love with Will, Nancy talked to Jonathan about Steve on a car after the break up, Mike talked to Will about El on a car after the fight, Jonathan lied and said Steve asked him to bring Nancy home, Will lied about El commissioning the painting, Nancy yelled Jonathan's name in the upside down and he went to save her, Will yelled Mike's name in the upside down and Mike snapped Will out of his episodes

Byler's parallels with Lumax: Mike stayed with Will in the lab, Lucas stayed with Max in the hospital, Will yelled Mike's name during his episode and Mike snapped him out of his episode, Max yelled Lucas' name and Lucas was there for her, they played a song used in a s2 Lumax scene (on the bus) during Mike and Will's heart to heart and used the interruption trope (a romantic trope) in both scenes

Fun fact: they used "heroes" in s3 again but they cut the "and we kissed as though nothing could fall" lyrics that they used in s1 when Mike was hugging his mom and thinking about Will, those lyrics are reserved to Byler and I think they're gonna use this song again during Byler's first kiss, Acid (a leaker) said that Mike's arc in s5 is about self-discovery (which could be Mike understanding who he belongs with, Will) and that he's not gonna try to be normal (straight, Finn said that Mike was trying to be normal in s3 and s4) in s5, plus I think Mike and Will are gonna have another rain fight before the kiss since Shawn Levy hinted at another Byler rain fight, plus s5 is gonna be Will centric and Mike and Will's relationship is gonna be really important in s5

In the first picture Mike is looking at Will (the boy he's in love with) and in the second picture Trevor is looking at Lucky (the girl he has a crush on), Netflix posted this on Instagram

Mike and Will are gonna spend s5 together as a team (Jopper parallel) and their relationship is gonna be really important in s5, also Will is definitely staying at Mike's since he's hanging out with Mike and Holly so much

Mike is filming a lot of scenes with Robin (canon lesbian character) because he's gay, Will is gonna clean his boyfriend's wounds <33, is Robin gonna be Mike and Will's gay mentor and help them get together? i would love that, Mike and Will are sharing two pair of jeans and sharing stuff is a thing for couples

He called El a weapon in s1 and he wanted to send her back to the lab and only changed his mind when he realized she knew where Will was and that she could help him find him, he absolutely DID NOT fall in love with her her at first sight, if he actually loved her he would've chosen a moment where he actually showed that he was in love with her, plus he's gay and in love with Will, He said he fell for El at first sight because he saw Argyle say something similar about Eden and he tried to copy him, he got caught for plagiarizing something at school so it wouldn't be the first time for him doing that, plus he copied what Eddie said about Dustin and said it to El, plus the Duffers said that they don't believe in love at first sight and the first thing Mike said/thought when he first saw El was "that's not Will", he was trying to recreate the shed scene except that in s2 they won and no one lied to him and his words to Will were genuine and sincere while in s4 Will lied to him and made him think El commissioned the painting (which is why he said those things, he didn't know what to say before Will said "you're the heart") and they lost

The actress who plays Suzie ships Byler, Noah and Finn also ship Byler and Brett also ships Byler and Millie ships Byler and the actor who plays younger Henry ships Byler

why did they make Mike say he loved El in s3 and then made him say he forgot he said it and then in s4 he couldn't say it anymore? it makes no sense because he knows El heard him and he just could've just said it again to her face in s3 instead of acting dumb, also in s4 he put the blame on other people instead of on himself and instead of trying to comfort El and he was all defensive and stuff like Nancy when she broke up with Steve, Mike meant it platonically and he's gay

CALEB SAID THEY MADE PLAYLISTS FOR THEIR CHARACTERS, SO STURN (Finn made this playlist) IS ABOUT MIKE AND HE'S GAY (it has lyrics like "it's so easy to lie to myself and pretend that I could love you but I can't" which is about mlvn and "besides I don't want to be the one whose coming out first") which is about Mike wanting Will to come out as gay first because he's scared and it has a song about a milkshake and about how a relationship wasn't built to last (which is also about mlvn since they had milkshakes in s4), and he could also be referring to Mike's bassment beats, which has smalltown boy on it and that song is a gay song about a gay man leaving his homophobic town to find a new life and Finn said he wants Mike to leave Hawkins, or maybe it's the Wheeel playlist, Mike (Wheel)er, Finn made it for Mike, you use the wheel to drive and he put a song called "gay thoughts" in it because Mike is gay

Noah liked a byler edit yesterday (he already knows how the show ends since he's read the last episode script and he knows the endgames, so Mike and Will are gonna date)

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lcriedlastnight · 20 days

Text

lost the breakup | charles leclerc

○tw: alcohol, swears, charles is a proper dick, silly reader, this is the most angsty thing over ever wrote. to celebrate charles win today!○

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : w/c: 4.3k of pure hell.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

"this would be so much easier without you!" it felt like those words flitted around your brain in a loop ever since that night in charles' flat. you hadn't intended it to turn into a massive fight, all you said was you couldn't wait for summer break to finally spend some time with your boyfriend. but seemingly that was all it took for charles to go off on one, roaring at you as if you had actually done something wrong.

you had stood, staring at the man after he had stopped ranting about how being with you only brought him down and how life before you was much easier on him. you couldn't believe that was actually what he thought of your relationship. i mean it wasn't perfect, but who's was? all that you thought mattered was that you tried to make each other happy, and up until today you had thought that you were succeeding in that, clearly not.

"do you mean that?" there was an obvious wobble in your voice that you had tried to disguise but it didn't matter, charles didn't care anyways. you knew that now.

all it took for you to scramble to find somewhere new was that singular nod of his head. you knew he wasn't sure if he meant it but he nodded. he fucking nodded. you could've forgiven him if he took it all back then and there, he didn't even have to beg for your forgiveness you would've just given him it. but he didn't. you didn't mean as much to him as he did to you and he had made that oh so clear tonight. so you did what any sane person would do, you grabbed a pair of shoes and a jacket and left. a part of you thought that maybe he had said all that just to get a rise out of you and to create a fight between the two of you, for whatever reason? you didn't know but you had a nagging feeling that was why he did it. or maybe your brain was just trying to soften the blow of your boyfriend secretly despising you for god knows how long.

so yeah, that was how you ended up rotting in your bed. at this point you really shouldn't still care about him anymore but your heart refused to let him go. and it annoyed you so much. how was it fair that you sat here mourning your relationship and what it could've been while he was out there winning grand prix's and clubbing every other night, seen with a different girl every single time. while he was out picking up girls you were picking up your heart, that had gone straight in the journal as soon as you had thought it.

the fans had realised something was up by the second day of your breakup. you hadn't even collected all of your things from his yet and they were already trending you both on twitter. it honestly felt like the last thing you needed right now but you smiled through the pain and tried to make your instagram feel as normal as possible until charles put up a statement about it, so that you could too. then you could finally put this relationship to rest.

being with charles had given you a following of sorts of your own and you felt like you owed them something, seeing as they only liked you because you were dating- used to date charles. your best friend and current roommate (for the time being, seeing as you were living with charles full time before the breakup) jess had told you millions of times that they were just random strangers and you didn't owe them anything. it never eased the weight you felt though.

one night after the third night in a row of summer break (that very same summer break that you were longing to spend with charles) that charles was out and had been pictured taking some random girl home was the night where jess had tried to snap you out of it.

"i think it hurts more that literally none of them look like me? like if any of them resembled me at least i would know that he missed me, even a little bit. even if it was subconscious, you know?" you had ranted, staring holes into your phone that had showed you the dreaded pictures of the three girls who all looked alike in regards to each other but nothing like you. in fact they were the complete opposite of you in every single way.

jess had swiped your phone off of you and slid it into the back pocket of her jeans.

"look, you technically broke up with him but it doesn't matter. he clearly doesn't care so why the fuck should you?" ever so blunt, jess was.

"i don't mean to be mean, you know that. i mean this in the nicest way possible but you have to get over yourself. this isn't the end of the world as much as it feels like it. the world has continued to spin this past week and it will continue to do so no matter what so you need to get up and live your life. you're wasting your emotions on a man who literally doesn't care whether you live or die at this point."

although it was filled to the brim with all the shit you didn't want to hear, jess knew exactly what you needed and she gave you the wake up call you had been needing since that night. that night she helped you wash your bed sheets and tidy your room up, moving the furniture while blasting taylor swift's breakup songs. jess was still letting you grieve the relationship because she knew better than anyone, that you can't just hear one inspiring speech and finally stop caring about him. even though she knew that you would stop caring sooner rather than later with the way he was acting.

★・・・・・・★

"you better not wear that skirt with those heels!" jess' girlfriend, hailey had shouted over the thrumming bass of someone's getting ready playlist. you weren't too sure who's it was but you knew for certain it was not the usual music that was played in the flat.

'the inchident' (which you thought was a particularly cruel play on words) had happened almost a month ago and jess had invited your closest friends for a night out in monaco. as well as her girlfriend, she had also invited sophie, probably your second best friend.

"why?" sophie asked back, brows down as she moves the skirt in her hands, looking for an issue with it. "it looks good, no?". three shakes of heads are her answers.

"soph it looks so fugly." jess said, trying to pull on a pair of doc martens. you had burst out laughing at that and it had set everyone else off too. you knew pre-drinks were a great idea. the group had already taken three shots already and for a lightweight like you, this was the perfect state to go to the club like. drunk enough that the night seemed endless, plus you would save a fortune on drinks while you were there too, seeing as you were almost on your way to being absolutely smashed. exactly what you needed after this past month.

as you all clamber into the taxi to take you to the club, the group chatters with each other while jess is chatting away to the driver. she got so talkative when she had alcohol in her system. the ride to the club wasn't long so when you all arrive and after you had all given about a million thank you's to the driver you head into the club.

you and sophie find a table to sit at while jess and hailey head in the direction of the bar, hailey offering to buy the first round in celebration of you finally going out with them for the first time in months.

in the taxi ride over, sophie was telling you all about the boy she was speaking to and how he may or may not be a famous athlete. after a joke or two from you about watching what she's getting into she tells you that she had been on a few dates with him and they were days away, as she put it, from becoming official. with all of this in mind you still had no idea why, when you were both on the hunt for a free table, scouring around the very back of the club, she suddenly stops in her tracks, grabs your arm and turns to face you. the poor girl looked like she was about to pass out. surely she hadn't had that much to drink already, you had just gotten here, you had thought to yourself before she spoke up.

"that's him! he's here?!" sophie whisper shouts as she kind of just stands there, almost like shes lagging. you look at her, confusion plastered all over your face.

"who? who's here?" you ask her. it's easy to tell she is annoyed at your question but she's much too preoccupied to tell you off for it in her usual sophie manner. like her fight or flight kicks in at that very moment she suddenly pulls you towards the large booth filled with people, seemingly all men but maybe a few girls from what you could make out. it was actually really dark in this part of the club.

"my man." the blonde girl whispers to you like it was obvious, nothing was obvious to you when you were sober never mind this tipsy. you recognise a man at the end of the row but it doesn't sink in your muddled brain until you are standing directly in front of near enough half of the grid.

you stand like a deer in headlights as it clicks in your brain. the weight of a thousand busses suddenly weighing down on your chest. oh this was so not good. you hadn't looked to see if he was here but did you really need to? it seemed like he was going out at any chance he could find since the two of you last spoke. you avert your attention to sophie who was standing very closely to the man at the edge, who you now could see what carlos. you had no idea that was who she was talking about.

you hear someone in front of you call your name, one of the drivers, maybe lando? he had always been nice to you any time you and charles went out together and ran into him. you don't reply, not that you get the chance to because an arm is gripping yours from behind and at first you swear your heart falls right to the ground and is so very close to taking you with it but you look over and see it was only jess and hailey with your drinks. this was not how tonight was supposed to go.

jess says something you can't hear to sophie and the blonde nods back before you feel your best friend pulling you away from the table. you still feel frozen as she drags you to a free table you and sophie must have missed on your own hunt. you felt like you were having an out of body experience. there was no fucking way in hell that just happened. no way he was here. why couldn't he just let you have this one night to yourself without ruining it? he had already ruined your life, what else does he want?

hailey slides you your drink of choice and heads back up to the bar to order another, knowing you'll need it. jess could see the look in your eyes even if you couldn't feel it yet. what stage of grief was this you were in now? because all you wanted to do was to get the ground to swallow you whole. maybe depression. jess' soft voice pulls you out of your daze.

"hey, drink it. i'm not encouraging drinking to numb your feelings but tonight is not the night to deal with whatever the fuck that was." jess says, her voice as comforting as she could make it. you really appreciated it so you downed your drink and waited for hailey to come with your next.

"we'll process this tomorrow but tonight, we drink." hailey says as she returns. you swear you hear her curse sophie under her breath as you drink. you didn't blame sophie though, she didn't know he would be there and clearly didn't think before she acted. you think that maybe hailey and jess are mad at her now. great, another thing in your life falling apart. you were so getting shitfaced tonight.

the drinks blended into one another as you danced with your friends after sophie had joined you, after promising to carlos she would leave with him.

you were swaying to one of your favourite songs when carlos come over to distract sophie, you just smiled at the two 'couples' that surrounded you. even if there was a clear favourite, nothing against carlos but c'mon. it was jess and hailey. speaking of they had signalled to tell you they were off to join the long line for the toilets. they had asked of you wanted to come but you didn't need to pee so you said no. you should've went though, you probably would need to pee by the time you got to the front of the line but your drunk brain was not in the mood for rational thinking.

that's why when a man slides his arms around you don't protest it and instead lean into him. it had nothing to do with the familiar scent flooding your nose or the hums you heard every single night in your sleep, nope. nothing to do with that twat.

"This one is your favourite, no?" his accent fills your ears and you can literally feel the tension from the past month ease out of you. you lean further into charles as you sway a little to the beat. you were far too drunk to dance properly, the way you were when you first stepped foot onto the dance floor.

"mhm." you nod as your hands slide down to rest on his clasped ones, which were holding your stomach to keep you close, you hoped. charles moves his head to right behind your ear, just so you can hear him better. there was no way he didn't hear or even feel your breath hitch at the feeling of his breath on your ear. if you weren't this plastered then you would be so embarrassed at how easily you let charles do this again. you could even hear the rational part of your brain screaming at you, asking you what you were doing but you could barely even see at this point so of course you ignored it in favour of being the girl in his arms again.

"then why'd all your friends leave you, sweetheart?" charles asks, it feels teasing and maybe even a little mocking but there is no way you would be able to tell the difference in this state, so you just respond, dumbly. "they went to pee."

charles laughs in your ear and it sends goosebumps throughout your body and puts a sappy grin on your face. you hadn't heard his laugh in a while and it felt so good to hear it again. it felt like home to you and god had you been homesick.

you would've done anything the man asked you to when you were like this, well maybe sober too but when you were sober you would've definitely put up more of a fight about doing it. maybe charles was taking advantage of this as he practically moves you both to the next song that plays. it's a good job that jess and hailey come back when they do because you would've done anything for him. it felt like he actually wanted you again. you had missed him like this and here he was acting like he couldn't get enough of you. every part of you hoped to remember this in the morning as both girls pulled you away from his grasp (without any fight from charles, which told the girls everything they needed to know) and took you home, without as much as a goodbye to sophie. safe to say she was not going to be invited round again after tonight.

the next morning consisted of waking up at three pm with the sorest headache you think you've ever experienced and a blurry memory. turns out your hoping and praying last night had worked because the only thing you can remember is the way charles held you. the words he said weren't one hundred percent clear but god if this didn't set you back three weeks. jess was furious with sophie and hailey had literally cut her off in every single way possible. jess tells you over dinner that night that hailey had blocked sophie last night when you had gotten home and it did make you laugh but now you had to mourn the end of two relationships. you knew it was for the better but it still killed you, ripped you apart from the inside.

the thing that hurt you most was charles. you reflect on it in the shower after dinner. he knew how drunk you were and he still came over, clearly because he knew it was the only time you would let him back in without any fight. did that mean he missed you like you missed him? or was he just doing it because he could, showing you (a drunk you, mind you but still you nonetheless) that no matter what he still had his claws in you? your questions were answered as you scrolled through a gossip page and seen that charles left with another girl who looked nothing like you last night. you really had to stop looking through those pages, it did nothing but bring you down.

★・・・・・・★

nothing prepared you from the instagram dm from the quiet australian mclaren driver about another month after the club incident. he had never really spoken to oscar a lot before back when you were a regular in the paddock but it was still super nice to hear from him. it didn't mean you were prepared for him to ask you if you wanted paddock passes to be guests of mclaren at the next race. when you had asked what you had done exactly to deserve this gift, oscar had responded with 'i know your birthday is coming up and i also know how much you love f1'. you cried to jess before texting him back that you would take them. he was such a lovely boy.

you knew how bad ferrari were doing because you were an f1 fan way before you had even met charles so you of course kept up with the sport even after the breakup. even though it killed you to see his face on the screen. and you would never admit this to anyone, not even jess but seeing ferrari do so badly did make your heart ache for charles.

a few days before the race jess takes you shopping to find the outfit that makes charles beg for you back just so you can let him down harshly. her words of course, you would never even think that. as much as he's hurt you there wasn't a bone in your body that wanted to hurt him in return.

"i'm not drinking today, or tonight." you inform jess as you enter the paddock, the cameras immediately snapping in your face. you had not been in the eyes of the media for a good few months and now coming back to this made you feel dizzy but you powered through it because you had missed attending races so much. you found yourself beating up past you for not appreciating the privilege you had, getting to attend all those races.

"mhm, sure you aren't." jess doesn't even try and entertain you. you roll your eyes at her words.

"we both know what happened the last time alcohol and a certain ferrari driver mixed and i, for one, don't feel like going back down that road again." you try to make a joke out of it you're sure it would've worked if it was anyone but jess, she knows you far too well.

oscar greets you not long after and has the audacity to thank you for accepting his invite, he was literally the sweetest boy who's ever walked the earth and jess was sure to let him know of that fact. it left him with a big grin and rosy cheeks.

you and jess both cheer on the mclaren cars, which you have to admit, was one of the weirdest things about the full experience. you couldn't help but let your eyes wander to the red of the ferrari cars every now and then. you will your eyes to shift in the opposite direction every time. no way was anyone catching you lacking today, not on jess' watch that was for sure.

lando and oscar end up both on the podium so it was a great finish for the papaya team. oscar comes over with lando this time, after the podium and they both thank you and jess for coming again and this time you give them both swety, champagne covered hugs, unaware of the eyes peering into your soul.

said boy catches you on your way out, again when you're alone while jess makes a quick pitstop at the bathroom. you were hanging around across the hall, waiting for her to come out.

"hey, didn't know you still came to races." charles tries to make casual conversation with you. like the months you two were together didn't mean anything and like he hadn't just used you as a player in his game when you were hammered last month. this man has no dignity you swear. you had thought a few nights after the night out at the club that night.

"oscar asked me." you take a page out if jess' book and stick to the blunt responses. you knew you had moved on from the boy in front of you because as soon as he made his way over you weren't nervous or excited, you were annoyed. it made you feel happy and a little healed. charles seems surprised at your bluntness so he cuts to the chase.

"i miss you." he utters your name. "i miss you so much. i keep dreaming about us, and every morning, it feels like I've lost you all over again." you don't even look in his eyes to see if he's telling the truth. you used to be able to read him for filth, like he was your favourite book that you had read and re-read a million times, a book you had scribbled all your thoughts onto. now he just feels like a book you used to love when you were a child and as much as it helped shape you into the person you are now, you have new favourites now, that you read over and over and write inside, for someone else to read your thoughts and feelings.

you do though, see it hitting charles that you won't let him walk all over the top of you anymore. you see it register on his face and he makes a move to leave you be. maybe the you from a few weeks ago would've cried at the thought of this happening but whatever has happened to you in the past couple week has helped you grow mentally and helped you know your worth. charles walks away without so much as a goodbye, and you hope it kills him.

#charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc #charles leclerc one shot #f1 imagine #charles leclerc fic #f1 angst #charles leclerc angst #f1 fluff #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #lcriedlastnight

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morwap · 2 years

Text

𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐒

➸ ex!theo nott x fem!reader

➸ smut | muggle! au | college! au

➸ nav | tn.mlist | A/N: i know some of you love love love theo and when i write for him y’all eat it up every time so i thought i’d give y’all a surprise fic with theo since i know i’ve been lacking theo content and i’ve been much more into marauders and other fandoms, i still get so many and still have so many requests in my inbox for him so i knew y’all were trying to be fed with theo content! so surprise and i hope you enjoy <;3

➸ toxic on and off relationship, p in v, face sitting, dom theo sub reader, make up sex, hair pulling, love bombs, riding, finger sucking, hand behind back, tity sucking, little bitting, creampie, praise, “good girl

this happened over and over, you and theo fight then break up for a week then get back together. this time it lasted two weeks, the longest its ever been, maybe it was really over this time. you knew he was stubborn and took some days to himself before texting you or finding you somewhere but he didn’t take this long.

you waited for him to text and of course you could’ve texted first but you were overthinking it, why text if it was really over? you didn’t know how to feel, you felt like every other time with the voice in the back of your head saying “you'll be back together by tomorrow” but now you had a feeling in your gut that said something different.

you saw his dormmates on your way to your classes and they greeted you like normal which confused you even more. luna and cho told you that maybe this was for the better, you wouldn’t be under the stress of the fighting every week and focus on your school work and your job more than you already do.

it was the start of a new semester and luckily exams went by without causing too much stress. You wondered if the fighting recently on his end was because of the exams but he ended up passing with no struggle but you tried to understand.

Now it was the weekend, finally time off, you walked to your dorm and greeted people that wandered the hallways. luna had gone home for the weekend to see her dad so you had the dorm all to yourself.

you unlocked the door and pushed it open, kicking off your shoes and hanging your bag and coat on the coat rack on the door. you turned and was met with theo sitting on your bed, your string lights were still on since you didn’t turn them off when you left for your last class.

“hi” you mumbled, nervous that this was him saying goodbye. “How'd you get in here?” you asked.

“Luna let me in before she left, I needed to talk to you,” he said. You could see the flowers he bought on your nightstand. they were always done up pretty with brown paper and lace and ribbons tying them together. you nodded and walked closer to him.

theo took your hand in his, his thumb rubbing your skin softly.

“i'm sorry i didn't get ahold of you, i was just trying to figure out this whole thing because i really want this to work and i don’t know what's been going with us lately but i know it’s not healthy, padma gave me some advice and i really think it could help us” theo said. you nodded and sat next to him, still hand in hand.

theo continued to explain what Padma said and how it sounded like a good idea, he didn’t want to lose you and you didn’t want to lose him. you listened and gave your input every now and then and he listened to you, there was no fighting or snarky comments.

“thank you” you said when he was finished, you leaned closer to him and hugged him, his arms went around your waist and his face moved to your neck.

“i love you” he mumbled and you said it back.

you leaned back before leaning in and kissing him, there was tension already, you two had very high sex drives and had sex frequently and being apart and now together it just felt natural.

theo’s hands gripped you harshed and guided you closer. this was natural for you two, sex normally came after the understanding and apologies, the intimacy was the best part, a connection you hadn’t felt with anyone else.

you were in his lap, his hands unbuttoning your cardigan and moving it off you. you let it fall off your arms and onto the floor. you broke the kiss and moved off him and the bed, theo quickly took off his shirt and threw it to the floor then started working on his jeans while you stripped off your sweatpants. you kept your spaghetti strap shirt and underwear on.

theo kissed you again once he was just in his boxers, guiding you back onto him. He laid back and grabbed your hips. “cmon sit on my face” he said, breaking the kiss. you laughed softly and started to move up, you hovered over his face, one of his hands held your thigh and the other moved your panties to the side.

his tongue met your cunt, going over your clit, his hands now holding your hips to keep you where he wanted.

you closed your eyes and hummed, he was slow and easy at first then started to get a bit rough as he went, sucking on your clit then moving his tongue to your entrance and fucking you with it.

your hands gripped the headboard, one of his hands left your hip and took one of your hands that were gripping the board, intertwining yours and his fingers. He repeatedly licked your clit, making you moan and jolt with pleasure. you started to move your hips a bit, you were getting close which was fast but you hadn’t came in two weeks so who could blame you.

theo encouraged you with mumbles of “cum for me” and “cmon baby”

theo moaned against your cunt, his eyes were close as he pleased you, his other hands fingers dug into the skin on your thigh. his cock rubbed against his underwear, the stimulation making him leak precum.

one of your hands moved to his hair, bringing his face even closer as you frantically repeated that you were close, you tugged at his hair and it made him groan against you. you were so wet, his chin was covered with his spit and your arousal.

you felt it coming and you tightened your shut eyes, your breathing was picking up and the feel crashed down on you. you gripped his hair tighter.

once you were getting overstimulated he slowed his licks, you lifted up, pulling your cunt away from him, both of you panting.

theo kissed your thighs, he moved his hand to your cunt and pushed his middle finger in, earning a whine from you. theo’s ring finger joined.

“just wanna make sure you’re ready love” he said, a little smugness in his voice. after a minute he pulled his fingers from you.

you started to make your way back down to where you could straddle his waist. theo pushed his upper body up and kissed you, you could taste yourself on him. He broke the kiss and put his fingers in your mouth.

“you made the mess, now you clean it” he ordered, you sucked on his finger as he watched you with a smirk. theo pulled them from you when he thought they were clean enough.

“please, please fuck me, i want you so bad” you begged, you kissed his neck moved your hips a bit on his lap.

“how could i not give you what you want when you ask like that” theo said, his fingers taking your panties off, then you lifted up to get them fully off. your hands went to his boxers, pulling them down and letting his cock be free, no more friction from his boxers. you lifted up to move them then let them fall to the ground.

you moved over his cock, letting theo hold himself as you started to sink down onto it. he let out a relieved sigh once he was all the way in you.

you started to move, going up and down and sometimes grinding to get friction on your sensitive clit.

“holy fuck, you feel so fucking good,” theo grunted. his eyes closing for a moment and taking in the feeling.

“i missed you, miss you so much” you mumbled, moving your head to his neck, kissing his skin then sucking hickeys on him.

“i missed you too baby, it won’t happen again” he said promisingly.

theo took your hands and put them behind your back, one hand held yours there. you leaned away from his neck, his hand pushed the top of your shirt down and let your tits fall out of your shirt.

he moved his head down a bit, kissing your tit and biting softly, he moved to your nipple, sucking on and kissing the bud.

you moaned and your mouth made an ‘o’ shape, he groaned against you as your cunt tightened around him.

you whined when he bit you softly making him laugh. he left your tits alone now and leaned up and kissed you. theo was getting close now.

“i love you” he said, moving his kissed to your jaw then down your neck til he was resting his head a little on your shoulder and your face was nuzzled against his neck. his hand moved to your hip, making you go faster and harder. you clenched around him more.

“i love you too” you moaned. theo moaned and his abdomen flexed as he got closer and closer.

“im gonna cum-“ he started.

“- in me, please cum in me” you begged, you moved your fingers to hold on to his pinky finger.

“anything for you” he quipped, after a few thrusts he was cumming inside you, his cock twitched as your cunt squeezed him over and over. he shuddered against you, still moving you on his cock, he was getting overstimulated already but he wanted you to cum on his cock.

theo’s hand moved from your hip to your clit and started rubbing in circles, you breathed heavily as you were getting close. it felt so good having him take care of you again.

“m’gonna cum” you whimpered, theo’s cum was dripping from you and running down his cock to his balls.

“good girl, cum on my cock, you deserve it. you’ve so good, princess” theo whispered encouragingly.

he pressed a kiss against your head as you clenched around him tighter. he inhaled sharply, he was sensitive.

you let out soft noises as you came, cunt spasming around him and shivering against your boyfriend.

you both stayed there, theo let go of your hands and rubbed them to soothe any soreness. the mixture of your arousal, cum and his cum still dripped from you. you both rested against each other.

clean up was essential and couldn’t wait till the next morning or be fixed by a simple cloth or tissue. you showered together, the pillow talk followed from in there till you laid on clean sheets and cuddled. you had cleaned up the mess of clothes while he did the bed, your pajamas were thin since he would be in your bed keeping you warm.

you both fell asleep fast, faster than how you did when he was not with you.

luna came back to the dorm that morning, she knew she’d see theo, and at this point she thought about making a bingo card about you two, and she was right, there he was basically on top of you. you faced the wall with one hand pressed to your chest while theos arm was over you and his chest was half way pressed to your back, luna had no idea how you could sleep like that with him basically smothering you.

she sighed, it was cute in a way but even though she wasn’t the biggest fan of your relationship she knew she had to do something about your breakup with him and asked padma to talk to theo since she was going there to be a therapist and specifically a couples therapist. now she knew it worked but not like she had any doubt in the plan in the first place.

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