#I made this in April lmao rip

[strideofpride]

like a rolling stone

or, the one where Dan's a star reporter and Blair's his researcher. for now.

30k // rated m

[sirenologyyy]

RIGHT SIDE OF MY NECK!

neteyam x fem!metkayina reader

✧ summary : a certain sully boy can't admit he's smitten by one of the daughters of the olo'eyktan, but why would he? he's calculated and discerning and she's everything he wished he was.

✧ warnings : swearing (that's pretty much it LMAO)

✧ author's note : neteyam's 15, reader is older than tsireya by a year or so, some much needed lo'ak and neteyam brotherly bonding (after the trauma inducing hellscape that was atwow), lo'ak talking like a regular teenage boy, and in honor of it being December again, may i present to you, a neteyam fic that has been rotting in my drafts since April 🤩

A gravelly groan escapes your lips as your hands managed to shield your face, almost to hide yourself from the undisputable truth that you, along with your Tsireya, and your older brother Ao'nung had been roped into the evident mess that was to teach the children of Toruk Makto the ways of the Metkayina.

You weren't as prejudiced as Ao'nung, sneering at the Sully children whenever he'd run into them, so meticulously influenced by your mother's dislike towards Skypeople, let alone the Omaticaya.

You weren't as welcoming as your younger sister, who had greeted them with big grins that only further accentuated her dimples and her devout willingness to help Toruk Makto's family in any way she could. While you had resorted to mirthless smiles and polite nods whenever you'd come across one of them, it was unnatural, yes, Ao'nung was quite unfair with his treatment towards them, yes, but Tsireya's overall cheer and joviality was something you could not for the life of you reciprocate.

You were fine with them being here, although you couldn't say the same for most of your people.

The only real thorn in your side was the oldest.

Neteyam.

Oh how your blood boiled whenever you'd spot him in the crowd. Always so eager to help, so eager to please, so perfect, so good, it made you want to punch the living daylights out of him... Well, only slightly, that may be an exaggeration. Your hate for him might be particularly irrational but valid in all the worst ways.

"Can't you tell them I've been bitten by something?"

"No" Tsireya snorts.

"I've slipped collecting coconuts and dislocated my ankle"

"Stop moving so much sister, or I will mess up your hair"

It was like he was so anxious about keeping up the golden boy facade, what a show off, you thought. Going out of his way to help any way he could, helping carry baskets of dried fish across the village, pushing heavy boats off to sea, weaving baskets, seeing to the ilus, even the tsuraks at one point. It infuriated you. What did he had to gain?

If there was one thing you despised, it was try-hards.

And Neteyam Sully was the bane of your existence.

"Oh!" You had exclaimed, snapping your fingers. "You can tell them I have fallen off my ilu and got ripped apart by an akula"

Tsireya laughed. "Yes, like they would believe me"

With another scoff, you stare st your sister through the mirror, so engrossed in the braiding technique you'd requested for her to do on your hair. "I don't see why you're bringing me into your affairs sister, it is clear as day you only want to help out the Forest People because you like the way that boy kept looking at you yesterday"

Tsireya tugs at your half-finished braid, making you swear and rub at your head, bringing Tsireya some amusement out of this. "Now, be quiet, be still, let me do my job"

With a sour mood, you allow Tsireya to thread the shells you requested she put in, sitting up straighter. "Your job in being an absolute bitch?"

Tsireya sighs again, feeling her slump in frustration behind you. "Do you think it is so easy a job for me to constantly deal with your attitude?"

A smirk comes to your face as Tsireya knots your braid off. "Don't worry, all your efforts will be seen by Eywa, she might even make the boy tell you your hair looks nice today"

"Enough, Y/N" Tsireya says, standing up from her seat.

You stood as well, hooking your arm around Tsireya's as you left your pod. "Oh let me have my fun"

A dozen morbid thoughts suddenly flood Tsireya's mind. "If we do that I am afraid there will be nothing left of Awa'atlu when you are finished"

When you arrive, you immediately spot both the brothers sitting on the edge of the woven platform, their long legs dangling just above the water. They looked to be so immersed in a conversation that neither of them noticed you or Tsireya approach them, only when they were about 4 feet apart was when you clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

"Oh great mother, is it just the two of you?" Says you, making both the boys stand up like springs.

"No, our sisters are coming, they aren't exactly good at being early to things" says the younger one, his eyes flicking to Tsireya every now and then, making you dizzy trying to hold eye contact with the boy.

"Hey Tsireya" He finally says, nodding at her sister who laughs again. It took everything in you not to start dry-heaving in front of them.

"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Neteyam wonders, another smirk playing at his thin lips as he looks at you.

Your forehead creases. "I am nothing of the sort, what about you? What has gotten you so chipper?"

"Nothing all that special, really" He replied, not even convincing himself.

You heftily exhaled through your nose, moving away from the group and walking up on the platform, taking one of the seaweed bands on your arm to bunch your hair up just to get it out of your face. Once you'd pull your hair through the band the final time, you turned around just to see Neteyam's head turn away, almost like it was a chain reaction.

You placed your hands over the dip of your hips, facing the odd group. "Now, where has our dear brother wandered off to? It's almost noon and he is nowhere in sight"

This makes the rest of them look around for Ao'nung, even the two brothers who you'd assumed wanted nothing to do with him after your brother had showed his blatant contempt towards them after he'd ridiculed them during their arrival.

"He must still be with Rotxo and the others, we must be patient" says Tsireya.

Your mind remained closed, throwing your hands up in the air only for them to land on her hips with a thwack. "We both know Ao'nung does not move like the tide, he is too stubborn, too hard in the head " you found yourself saying, prodding a finger at your forehead.

"Patience, sister" Tsireya admonishes calmly, making her way towards you as you placed your hands on the identation of your woven skirt. "We must not rush things, we allow things to come to us at their own pace"

"Alright, alright" you tell her half-heartedly.

"Hey! Sorry, are we late?"

You turn her head to spot the two Sully sisters jogging up to the beach, the youngest out of all of them went straight for Neteyam, watching as he scooped her up with no hesitation. "Where in Eywa's name were you two?" Neteyam wonders, eyeing his sisters curiously.

The older girl rolled her eyes, pointing her chin at the youngest. "Couldn't decide on which skirt she wanted to wear"

The little girl pouts. "I didn't know which one I wanted!" She protested, her ears drooping down.

"She had two to choose from" the older sister groaned. Eyes finding yours as her grin widens, you chuckle to yourselves, having sisters was never a dull moment.

You two had bonded over that when you first helped her with her chores, although she seemed reluctant at first she accepted. Neither of you got anything done as you both found that snacking on dried seaweed and exchanging stories about your lives proved to be more fun.

"Maybe he isn't coming" says Neteyam's younger brother, subtly inching towards Tsireya while keeping everyone under the impression that he was trying to find Ao'nung just like she was, but in truth, all he wanted was to stand beside her. Tsireya didn't pick up on it at all, being the oblivious person she was, but Neteyam did, quietly chuckling to himself as he puts Tuk down, watching as she sprints towards the sand at full speed.

You shook your head at the sound of Tsireya's giggles and walks off the diving platform as well, making your way towards the beach to stretch your legs, walking along the coastline trying to kill time. That is until something tugs at your skirt, you turned around to see who it was but then looks down to see Neteyam's youngest sister, proudly holding a small conch shell in her hands, beaming up at you.

"They look just like the ones in your hair!" She exclaimed, a gigantic grin spreading across her face as you crouched to her level, taking the shell from her hands to study it. "It's a light purple, you don't have any purple shells yet"

"You're right, I don't have any purple shells in my hair yet do I?" You say in genuine amazement, holding it up against the sun, feeling the little girl scoot closer to you, but the shell had suddenly started to sprout 6 legs and you dropped it, startled by the animal and by the little girl's scream, you watch as it scurries back into the water, gone forever.

You turned back to the little girl who was visibly upset, another frown slowly forming on her face before you placed your hands on the little girl's shoulders. "Hey, we'll find another one around here somewhere, don't be upset"

She huffed, her shoulders rising and falling. "I didn't know there was something inside it, I really didn't"

You shook your head. "Neither did I, we both didn't know" you assured the younger girl, cupping her round face as her frown slowly started to shift into a smile. "Look, if we need to do this properly and find shells for my hair, I'm gunna need to know your name"

"Tuk!" She says. "My name's Tuk!"

"It's very nice to meet you Tuk"

"Really?" She giggled as you nodded. "What about you? What's your name?"

You beckoned her closer with a simple gesture of your fingers as you whispered your name into her ear.

"You've got a very pretty name" Tuk whispers as well, hiding her face behind her hands as she giggled.

"So do you" You had whispered all the same.

Tuk then looks back at the diving platform, and then back at you. "Y'know I think my brother is staring at you"

"Oh yeah? Why do you think that is so?"

The little girl scratches her head. "I don't know, he only stares at things he thinks looks nice or looks weird"

You grinned. "Does your brother think I look nice or weird?"

Tuk blinks. "I don't think you look weird"

"Would he think that?" Ka'leia emphasized.

"Probably" Tuk replies honestly, looking back at the diving platform again. "Why else does he keep staring at you?"

It made you think, it made your mind spiral into the bottomless void of memories in which you had caught a pair of warm amber eyes catch yours, and every time you did it made your heart stutter, however unfortunate it may be. "I'm not so sure either"

"Neteyam's weird" Tuk deduced.

You snort. "Yeah, he's weird"

Silence settles between you, but not for long as Tuk takes your hand and pulls you up. "Can we go and find shells now? Then we can put them in your hair! Then you'll look pretty!"

"Am I not pretty now?"

"No, not really" says Tuk, swinging your interlocked arms back and forth as her wide eyes scanned the sand.

"No?" You wonder almost scandalised, "alright " you nod.

You and Tuk spent a good couple of minutes digging holes on the beach to fish out the shells that had been buried underneath the sand, conch shells, shards of shells, fossils, rocks, bits and pieces of coral, if it was pretty enough for Tuk's standards she's adding it to her pile.

5 minutes later you're following her around with an armful of tiny shells, half the beach full of holes from Tuk and her makeshift shovel that had originally been a branch, with her screaming in delight when she's spotted another one, hurriedly running to you to add it in with the rest.

Lo'ak abruptly places his hands on Neteyam's shoulders, purposefully trying to scare him but Neteyam does not flinch at all. "Yo bro, you got a staring problem or something?" He wonders in English, stepping beside Neteyam to look out into the beach too.

"You done flirting with Tsireya?" Neteyam shot back.

Lo'ak huffed. "Pfft, me? Tsireya?"

"I know your tell, your tail's a dead giveaway"

Lo'ak laughs, punching Neteyam's shoulder, finally making the older boy turn to face him. "Yo! Shut your ass up!"

Neteyam chuckles. "No one else here understands English bro, we're fine!"

Lo'ak shook his head. "I'm not worried about the Metkayina, I'm worried about that devil right there" He says, pointing at the beach.

Neteyam looks at the direction where Lo'ak was pointing. "Who? Tuk?

"She's got spot on hearing, incredible memory," Lo'ak listed. "If I'd have known how much of a tattletail she'd be I'd have abandoned her in the forest when she was a baby"

Neteyam frowns, laughing. "Yes, and when I'd get home I'd find your extra finger in my stew"

Lo'ak grimaces, almost gagging as Neteyam wiggles one of his fingers at him. "Disgusting!"

Neteyam cackles loudly, watching as Lo'ak covered his mouth. "You're overreacting!" He tells him.

"Nah bro, you don't get to fill my mind with those kinda thoughts" Lo'ak says.

Neteyam places a hand on his back. "Face it baby bro, i'm in your head"

Lo'ak pushes it away, chuckling. "Lay off!"

"Will you two ever go a day without fighting eachother?" Kiri asks, giving them a look.

"Not sure" says Lo'ak. "But I wouldn't hold my breath"

Kiri rolled her eyes and Lo'ak turns to Neteyam again. "If Ao'nung isn't coming then we might as well fetch him, if you catch my drift"

Neteyam shakes his head, his braids swishing from side to side. "No, we will do no such thing"

Lo'ak half shrugs, already moving away. "Fine, if you won't then I will"

Neteyam grabs his arm, stopping his brother in his tracks. "Hey, what did dad say?"

He pretends to think. "Not sure, something about you being the next poster boy of the clan?"

Neteyam flicks a finger on Lo'ak's forehead, making the younger boy hiss. "No, you skxawng, he wants us to be on our best behavior, and I don't want to be stopping you from pulling another shitty stunt that'll get you in trouble"

"Fine" Lo'ak says. "I'll go check up on Tuk," He tells Neteyam unconvincingly, scratching the side of his head. "What's up with you and wanting to stay on the beach?"

Neteyam's jaw tightens. "There's nothing that's keeping me here except my promise to dad"

"Uh-huh" Lo'ak nods, eyes flicking to you and Tuk. "Nothing or no one?"

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Lo'ak frowns, pretending he understood. "She's pretty hot"

Neteyam pays him no mind, only scoffing.

"She still avoiding you?" Lo'ak asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, and I can't seem to find the reason why" Neteyam huffed.

Lo'ak snickers. "Maybe it's cuz you're coming off a little too strong"

"I don't know how else I can get her to talk to me without her insulting every fibre of my being or making up some excuse to leave, I've tried everything" He replies desperately, causing Lo'ak's eyes to go wide, a whistle leaving his mouth. "Damn that bad??? What the hell did you do to her to make you hate her this much?"

Neteyam rakes his face with dread. "I don't know baby bro, but you have no idea what I would do to find out the reason why"

His brother was too down-bad to be saved, Lo'ak knew that much, looking across the beach as he studies you with his little sister. Neteyam looks at his brother, his eyes seemingly trained on you as it flicks up and down, he slaps his brother's arm. "It's rude to stare"

"Yeah, go tell that to them" Says Lo'ak, pointing at a handful of Metkayin boys passing by, giving you stolen glances as they talked amongst themselves, chuckling and hooting.

Neteyam's eyes narrow into slits. "They're irrelevant, we must not let ourselves become like them"

Lo'ak glances at him, clearly unconvinced. "Yeah, okay, so stop looking"

"Fine, I won't" Neteyam replies quickly, watching Lo'ak turn around and walk to the edge of the platform. But he dosen't stop looking, he hated himself for it for it and the way that it was practically eating himself alive.

Wasn't it such a simple task? To turn his head around and look somewhere else? Well it should be, but Neteyam couldn't bring himself to pry his eyes away from you, you, oh Eywa. Your eyes were the colour of the sea, your hair shiny and black, your smile making his stomach twist itself into knots, your laugh making shivers run up his back, the way you dressed alone would make people turn heads, but your attitude was what drew Neteyam in.

You didn't feel the need to keep up this respectful facade, treat him like a guest because it was expected of you as the daughter of the Olo'eyktan, no, you treated him the way you thought of him.

You were rude, you were impolite, and you were blunt, because you didn't like him. You didn't feel inclined to tolerate him just like what was expected of you. He wished he was that brave.

"'Teyam! 'Teyam look what I got!" Tuk squealed as the pair of you walked up the diving platform carrying mountains of shells on your palms. "Y/N told me she and 'Reya could put these in my hair after diving lessons! Isn't that cool?!?"

"Oh Tuk, you didn't force her into braiding your hair did you?"

Tuk looks back at you for moral support. "But she said she would-"

"-Neteyam let her be, if she wants me to braid her hair then I'd be happy to" you had jumped in, siding with Tuk whose ears flicked upwards at her statement. "I hope it isn't too infuriating that I favour your sisters over you"

Neteyam wanted to scoff, but instead stifles it with a tight smile. "Nonsense, my sisters have that effect on everyone" He tells her, looking at Tuk. "Don't you?"

Tuk simply gives him a giggle, a swift nod, and then runs to Kiri, shouting her name over and over again before the older girl groans in acknowledgement. "Here," you say, handing him a conch shell with yellow and brown patterns ruminating on its surface.

"What's this for?" He wonders.

"Your sister practically dug up the entire beach, you deserve at least one" you chuckled.

Oh. He stares at the shell in your hands, then looks back at your face. "If I take this does this mean we'll be friends?" He asks, a sly smile breaking on his face.

"Oh you wish" You reply, smirking as you narrow your eyss at the boy. "Taking this won't change anything"

"Yes it does," He replies as a matter of factly. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had without you leaving or insulting me"

"No it dosen't" You shook your head, insistent. "I'll still hate you after this"

He hums. "I think I can live with that," He smiled. "I did get a gift from the daughter of the Olo'eyktan after all" He laughs when he hears you scoff.

You leave right after he takes it and right before he could say thank you. Walking off to find a basket to store more of Tuk's shells in.

Neteyam looks at the shell in his hands, about 2 and a half inches long, smooth, shiny, perfect, it was perfect. He loves it. He closes his fist, a smile breaking on his face before he could even relent it, a light purple tinting his cheeks as he places the shell in one of his pockets.

[eternal-auditor]

Ppyong L card reactions

Spoilers ahead

Shoutout to @shyanimeboi on twitter/x for posting the card story, they're also posted the 2nd part there

There was already a certain amount of references to some anime/manga titles, so I'm wondering if this is supposed to be the Dorohedoro reference of the Black House

Zagan is as reliable as always, so nice of him

CAT BOY PAIMON IS REAL??? HOLLY SHIT!!

Also apparently Ppyong is considered handsome in his both forms and by every devil

Leraye is such a cutie, it will be so easy to bully him like that :3c

Also that is an actual real name of Ppyong 😭

I thought it's gonna be the nickname he got from Satan or smth

Not the Jjyu slander, oh god, my poor boy

Also I'm now thinking what is his real name suppose to be...

Nah he just switched his personality with Barbatos's

But it still funny seeing him laughing at every little thing

Not Sitri having a tantrum that he won't get to experience another April Fools lol

Bro what the hell 😐

He just ripped MC's talisman and left

Even Sitri was like "yeah ok it's only for one day"

This ship is becoming real with every second lmao

But yeah anyway, the whole prologue felt like an event story but with MC this time and it made me curious what the rest of the devils got for their April Fool's Day, too bad we won't see it

[monpalace]

ships .. (ocarina of time/majora's mask) link/reader, (linked universe) time/reader.

content .. it's only natural you search for your nephew after he enters the lost woods on a dare. you can't have a problem with the hand dealt to you when the beast who gives you shelter is so kind.

warnings .. no beta, we die like the promise i made to finish this before the summer after my junior year ended (i started this in april, it's august). i didn't know where i was going with this after a certain point and i think that's obvious. reader uses she/her pronouns. large, legal age gap (reader is in her 30's - 40's, time is a few hundred years old). less of a fic and more snippets, but it's almost 7.5k+ words. i don't think i explicitly say which link it is, so i guess it's ambiguous? nephew is named because this would be a pain to write otherwise.

notes .. prompted (not inspired!!) by beauty and the beast, but also the batb fanfic i found after my friend showed my an nsfw ao3 tag account on twitter. beelzebub / lord of the flies from fear and hunger was a huge inspo for link / time's physical description but there is leeway for how he can be envisioned. he's still large as shit though lmao. the layout of the manor was this, only because i wouldn't be able to write this without knowing.

supposedly there's gonna be a second part. supposedly.

idk. i might hate this enough to just. not.

The Lost Woods wasn't as intimidating as everyone talked it up to be.

Yes, it felt like the trees moved when you turned your back to them, and, granted, there were a few mobs of monsters that could get the jump on you if you weren't paying attention, but you had managed to get away with a few scrapes the few times it had happened.

The only thing to keep you company was the howling winds that grew in intensity and your own thoughts that were sprawling into whatever corners they could reach, but that was fine. You'd gratefully take decades-old gossip from the next town over instead of the creeping paranoia of what was behind you.

Of course, you would willingly go through this, that, and whatever else one thousand times over if it meant finding your nephew— and to keep yourself from reprimanding yourself from reprimanding the teens that had dared him out into the woods, but that was another thing.

Along your investigation, you'd found a broken trail of breadcrumbs that led to nothing when you followed them. They were torn pieces of fabric from his clothes, just big enough to be noticeable but small enough to keep himself protected from the elements.

(You'll forever be thankful that a younger your drilled the idea into his head.)

You'd long since discovered calling his name was useless. The only thing you've managed to do was draw the attention of a few wandering stalfos dressed in clothes from centuries ago.

The ones that had managed to find weapons were always the most painful to deal with.

If your determination weren't so established, you would've lost your sanity within the first day.

Food and water were no issue, you were smart enough to pack more than a week's worth of both. There were non-perishable options and several choices for your nephew when you found him; he'd no doubt have his fair share of cravings after being lost for so long.

(Three days was an eternity to you.)

Just before the sun had reached its crest in the sky, you'd realized that there were more empty clearings than trees. Wildlife had become scarce as well.

Where deers and wolves previously ran abundant, birds and squirrels that ran from the smallest of noises replaced them.

The wind had calmed, at least. It no longer wanted to push and shove you in whatever direction it pleased or steal the bag full of items you brought along. You didn't have to hug your sweater to your chest in fear of it being ripped from your arms either.

Instead, it was still.

Admittedly, the clearing gives you more paranoia than anything else.

When your mind starts to wander to places you'd rather it not reach, you begin to hum a quiet tune to yourself— your nephew's favorite— and allow it to ground you.

You were here for a reason. You wouldn't leave until you found him. You'll be fine until you find him, and you'll find some way to live in the forest that refuses to let its inhabitants go peacefully.

It's hours later when you hear the first sound of life (or suspended death) that doesn't feel like a threat— though, in hindsight, you should've been smarter and more suspicious of it when you first heard it.

A high-pitched instrument repeats each croon you let out, eventually taking over and silencing you. You follow the tune without much of a thought. If it were some sort of elaborate trap to lure you in, you couldn't be mad at yourself if you fell for it.

Clusters of trees become less and less as you follow the instrument and its recreation of your nephew's song. You call his name and are met with nothing but the music (from an ocarina, you quickly recognize) growing louder as time passes.

To say you're shocked when a large and, admittedly, well-kept manor enters your field of view would be an understatement. It's covered in vines, invasive arrowroots, and spreading flowers, but looks lived in if the smoldering smoke slowly dissipating in the afternoon air was anything to go by.

You couldn't begin to imagine who lived inside before the woods took it over (or what lived in it now). The architecture says it predates the Hero split in four, but you doubted the inhabitants of the floating sky built something so elaborate when they returned to the surface.

Your eyes jump past the crumbling pillars and dilapidated statues to the half-glass double doors that seemed to open on their own.

The music was coming from inside the manor now.

Steeling your nerves and squaring your shoulders, your hand grips tight on the strap of your satchel as you walk up the stone stairs covered in moss. You have to hold onto the guardrail installed next to it just as tight. Looking down, you find the carvings of it sorely separating it from the older antiquity of the manor.

Taking in smaller details (for future escapes or weapons against whatever lived inside, you'd figure out later), you find that the small pools of water that came from the sides of the manor and ran and fell alongside the stairs you climbed held small clumps of straw-colored fur. Some caused the surrounding water to turn into a pink hue that reminded you of fairies you've seen in childrens' books.

(Your hand reaches into the satchel to make sure you brought all of your nephew's well-loved books as well as a novel or two for yourself.)

(You did, thankfully.)

There's a smell filled with musk that permeates the air the closer you get to the manor, thick with amber and ginger and it reminds you of the times you come across a pack of wolves during your childhood.

Upon entering the manor, you find it was strongest in the wing of the manor to your right. It took over almost the entirety of your senses, but it wasn't an unwelcome or overwhelming sensation. If you paid close enough attention, you could sense the homely feeling underneath the ferality of it.

You prayed you'd be able to tell when the beast returned; if it was gone in the first place.

You take close note of how the foyer wasn't truly a foyer with how it was filled with windows rather than walls that led to a courtyard and how the only way to enter the wings of the manor was the winded stairs that connected via the terrace.

You don't fail to notice how the wing coated in the musky scent is coated entirely in shadows despite all the sources of light.

You couldn't decide if you were thankful or filled with loathing at the idea of what roamed on that side of the manor.

It's a struggle to turn your eyes away from the darkened wing of the manor, but you do manage when the music picks up once more from the left wing. It's significantly brighter and doesn't fill you with a sense of dread as the right one does.

Trap be damned, your nephew was here, you knew it— you felt it.

Reaching the top of the stairs, you find that you're inside a parlor room that leads to three other pathways. One was a library, another was a dining room, and the last was a small hallway.

In any other situation, you'd explore some more. The supposed beast that possibly lived in the manor kept everything in better shape than what you'd expect— or hopefully it was the forest spirits that lived throughout the forest.

Hopefully, those same spirits kept your nephew safe.

You have to close your eyes to better determine where the music is coming from, the only thing you can hear beside it and your own breathing being the manor settling. Your ears guide you inside the hall and you find it branches into a corridor, a bathroom, and two bedrooms.

Common sense seems to leave you when you spot the back of your nephew's head. Your breath quickens as you watch him clap along with the ocarina, you force your eyes to keep their clarity when you hear him hum each note just as you remember.

"''ire," you call in a weaker voice than you intended or thought you had. The nickname he claimed he hated so much tumbled from your lips so easily as you rushed inside the room, one arm rushing to remove your satchel while the other reached out to almost check if he was real.

The Lost Woods were known for their tricks, after all.

When he turns to face you, he's scrambling over himself in the bed. You're able to see how he limps on his right ankle and knee, how the entirety of his limbs were wrapped in bandage wrap as though done by a child. There was no blood, so you hold off on checking him over.

(The bandages were stained, thankfully not with blood. It was mostly dust and grime.)

(You'd have to sanitize whatever was wrong.)

You meet him more than halfway when you catch the way he winces and hisses with each movement.

"Auntie— Auntie— Titi!" His voice is airy as he speaks, emotion causing his words to come out as chokes. His arms reciprocated the tight hug you had on him, forcibly keeping his arms from trembling due to either nerves or injuries. "Titi, Titi, Titi!"

The way he says the word makes him sound like some chittering bug. If you listened hard enough, you could tell how his teeth clattered together, but you couldn't decipher if it was from a chill or emotion.

All you wanted to do was keep his head against the crook of your shoulder and neck while you pressed kisses to the crown of his head and kept him as close to you as you could, but you knew better.

Pulling away, you reach back for the satchel that you previously discarded. "What's wrong? What happened?" You force your voice to even out when you speak, hands already reaching for his arms after you sit the bag against your hip.

He shakes his head, but you've known him long enough to know there was something wrong. "They're from when I first went in the forest," he answers, voice quivering. "It's all healed. I think."

He doesn't push your hands away or pull his arms back when you skillfully unravel the bandages, carefully pulling and prodding the scars that littered the skin, and he was telling the truth despite the coloring.

"Did you forage like I taught you? Why are most of them green?"

"The spirits."

"The spirits?"

"And the soldier." He looks over your shoulder as though searching for their figures. "I haven't seen him yet, though."

Your eyes squint as one of your hands rubs over the strange texture of the scar, the other reaching for the antiseptic and clean fabric in your bag. "Are these spirits children or small trees with masks?"

You'd heard of both in legend. No one's ever seen them.

You're not sure which you'd rather watch over your nephew.

His eyes drift to his side before peering back over your shoulder once again. His brows furrow as he thinks of how to answer, head tilting as his pupils dilate.

"Both," he answers, "and ones that look like scarecrows. I asked them to bring you."

You force your gaze to keep itself on your nephew. You wouldn't let it wander to spirits you couldn't even see. "The ocarina?" You instead ask another question jumping around your mind, sucking your tongue in appreciation when he nods. "Smart boy."

An airy laugh leaves him, his face lighting up with a smile. "Learned from the best," he snorts.

You risk pressing kisses to the apples of his cheeks and forehead at his flattery, hands cupping themselves on the nape of his neck to bring him closer.

A younger him would push you away without a second thought, whining on about how you were embarrassing him in front of his friends.

He lets you do so now regardless of the spirits that surround you both.

"What've you been eating?" Your hands drop to his biceps when you pull away. They weren't thin like you'd expect them to be after three days in the forest; they were fatter than they had been before he left. "Who's been feeding you?"

His answer of "the Soldier," is quicker than you would've liked. "He goes out and hunts. He always brings back meat. I think it's deer.. it tastes.. bland."

"He.. cooks it, right?"

Another laugh wracks through your nephew's body. He knows you're only being cautious, but he can't help it.

"All the way through," he hums, flexing his arms when they start feeling stiff. "I think I don't like it because it's not your cooking."

He knows what your response is going to be before he finishes speaking, years of having lived under your guidance making him attuned to the smallest of your movements.

When your expression shifts from being relieved to disappointment with a twitch of your eye, he can tell you're not pleased with his statement.

Dousing the fabric in the antiseptic, you take his arm in your hand and begin wiping it down. "Don't be rude." Your voice takes on a less-than-pleased rasp, speaking lowly as if you knew the Soldier was near; but you still apologize when the sting sets in. "Have you thanked him?"

(You're sure you would continue to speak quietly regardless of the context of the conversation. You didn't want to risk "the Soldier," doing anything unfavorable.)

(Your nephew's words of praise did little to ease your stressed heart.)

"I never know when he's here. He drops the food off while I'm asleep. He brings books and carvings too." He watches as you wrap his arm in another roll of (cleaner) bandages, undoing the old one on his other arm while you prepare another piece of fabric. "The Spirits say I'm the most excitement he's had in a while, so he doesn't mind."

His voice was beginning to grow hoarse from speaking so quietly. You tap his throat to tell him to relax.

"They say he's nice," he continues, doing as told. Tapping the fingers of his now free hand against your shin, he tries to recall what all they've told him.

"I think they said he used to live in another part of the woods when he was a kid?—" His eyes glance back over your shoulder, suddenly becoming sure of himself. "— Ah. They did. They said he left and came back when he was older."

You raise a brow but don't speak your question.

Your nephew takes hold of your retreating hands in both of his.

A clatter and snippy huff outside the bedroom door rouses you from your light sleep.

Nearing a week into your stay at the manor, you'd think you'd be more accustomed to the noise, but you aren't.

You carefully remove your nephew's head from your arm, using even more caution when trying to remove the conjoined weight of several spirits from your legs as you slip out of the bed.

It's hard, but you manage to do so without waking any of them— you hope.

(You still couldn't see any of the Spirits, but over time you could feel when they crowded around you and when the wind moved as they rushed past you.)

The floorboards creak beneath your feet.

You hear the sound of claws scratching against the floor on the other side of the door.

Pressing the crown of your head against the door, you tap your fingers along the handle to give the Soldier a warning and wait a few moments.

If you listened hard enough, you swear you could hear him scurrying into one of the other rooms before he shut the door behind him.

It reminded you of a dog.

Smiling to yourself, you're careful opening the door, keeping your head to it and your eyes on the floor. You turn to the other side of it to close it, waiting for the click of the lockset to speak.

"Are you decent?"

His confused "huh," sounds more akin to a gasp than any other noise.

You rap your fingers against the handle again. "Can I look up?"

"Oh—" he sounds choked. "Yeah— Yes. Yes. You can. Sorry."

"Thank you," you hum, leaning down to pick up the tray of food. It consisted of almost entirely meat with a few vegetables you figure are exclusive to the woods. "For both the food and taking care of my nephew."

There was a thumping noise behind the door, the frequency of it was like a tail beating excitedly.

The Soldier lets out a croaking noise and you know his mouth started moving before his mind was able to catch up. "No, I should thank you for looking for him— and for telling him not to use his name."

You let out an airy laugh. "It's common knowledge where I'm from. I wouldn't be a good parental figure if I didn't."

Another noise leaves the Soldier as you fix yourself to open the door. You can't discern what this one means. "I don't know when they started calling me the Soldier, but it's not— uhm.. A favorite.. of mine."

"Oh?"

"Soldier," he sounds more confident in himself and you don't have the heart to tell him you heard him the first time, "it's a nickname. I don't know where the kids got it, but I don't like it."

Readjusting the tray to rest against your hip and forearm rather than in both your hands, you hum curiously. "So what should we be calling you?"

He pauses longer than you'd think it'd take to remember your own name, but you wait.

"Link."

"Link?"

"Yes."

"Like in a chain?"

".. Yes."

You nod even though you're sure he can't see you. "I'll be sure to tell 'ire."

"Thank you." There's more thumping from behind the door.

"And thank you."

There's another noise from Link you struggle to understand, but you figure it's because he starves for conversation. "I heard what your nephew said about the food, too. I'll try to find something to flavor it with next time I'm out."

"Thank you," you repeat. Your eyes curve with your smile. "He'll greatly appreciate it."

Link raps his fingers against the door in response, but he doesn't say anything. You take that as your queue to reenter the bedroom.

"How come your side of the house is always dark?"

You gently pinch your nephew's elbow and he swats your hand away, leaning impossibly close to the door that separates him and Link.

There are a few moments of silence from the man that 'ire filled with bated breath. Link takes an audible, steadying breath before knocking what you think is his nail against the door.

"I wouldn't want to scare you both off."

It was an answer you expected, but you were disappointed nonetheless.

"Boo," your nephew groans. You're sure Link could hear the pout in his voice if the quiet chuckle he lets out was anything to go by. "You can't be worse than what I've seen out there."

There's genuine intrigue in the noise Link lets out. "Oh? What exactly have you seen then?"

Pure excitement fills your nephew's expression when he turns to look at you from over his shoulder. His fingers tap against the floor restlessly, tongue already listing off whatever monsters he's encountered (read: come up with) in his twelve years of life.

"— but their teeth are the worst! They're poisonous and there isn't a cure for it!"

You have no clue as to what creature he was talking of now. There were at least fifteen of them who injected poison through their teeth, eight of which had no cure.

(You don't have to strain as hard to see the Spirits as you did two weeks ago. The shadows and light shift around then as they move to sit around your nephew, seemingly hooked on your nephew's every word.)

(You remember when he would crowd himself around you similarly whenever you would tell him a story.)

You close the book that sat in your lap more for decoration than entertainment at that point and place a hand over your heart.

"I drew a lot of them too! My aunt brought them with her!" He pushes himself through the motions of standing up before immediately stopping and returning to his seat in front of the door. "I'll show them to you if you eat dinner with us!"

There are a few stammering noises from the other side of the door and yet you can't bring yourself to apologize for your nephew's bargaining.

Your own curiosity was quickly starting to get the better of you against your wishes.

The noise he had made several nights before makes itself heard again. His claws (you discovered those a few nights ago) scratch against the wooden flooring as he moves to sit against the other wall rather than the door, his voice moving with him.

"I don't want to— I wouldn't want— want to disturb you— either of you." His words are muffled by the door and his growing quietness, a  regretful lilt stuck in his throat. "But thank you for the offer."

If he truly didn't want to join you and your nephew (and the spirits) for dinner, he was terrible at showing it.

"I know I wouldn't mind," you hum, standing to put away the book. A loud thumping makes the floor vibrate and 'ire has to stifle a laugh. "I wouldn't mind picking up a pot and pan again either."

"No!" Link quickly apologizes for his tone after realizing his outburst. "You don't have to. I wouldn't be a good host if I made you do that."

"Are you scared I'll poison you?"

Your nephew's voice drops to a whisper he swears you won't be able to hear. "She can't. She's the best cook ever."

You're not sure how the two correlate, but you'd take thew compliment.

"She won't?" Link's voice drops to entertain your nephew despite his earlier convictions. It takes on a playful direction, fur rubbing against the wood-tiled floors in excitement (based on prior interactions). "You've never gotten sick? Not once?"

'ire begins to shake his head but quickly stops. "Only from eating too much— which you will do, by the way. Best cook around," he reiterates.

Link chuckles, tapping his fingers against the floor restlessly. It takes him a moment to come up with something to say and neither of you push him to hurry.

You were both too hooked on his every word to do so anyway.

"I'll.." He's shy for all the attention. You wonder when the last time he got so much focus on him outside of the spirits. ".. I'll be sure to think about your offer. Why don't you tell me about a few of your monsters so I have more of an incentive?"

Your nephew jumps on the opportunity while you think over the plethora of recipes in your mind.

It wasn't rare for one of the imps to accompany you outside when you went foraging.

You never strayed too far from the manor— the last time you had been dragged outside of the area you had designated for yourself (and your nephew) by the children, Link had to come and rescue to lot of you before the sun had gotten too low.

Suffice to say, it was a rather humbling experience.

Kneeling, squatting, or sitting on the ground had never been easy on your knees or back, but the grass below you had felt as though it were a pillow hailing from the Heavens itself.

Your body works on picking herbs from the ground before placing them in your bag repurposed for your (new) everyday tasks while your mind wanders elsewhere.

You're humming to yourself when a twig snapping breaks your focus.

It was a nice reminder that the imps hadn't, in fact, accompanied you that day.

Your head lifts to survey the surrounding woods. Your entire body was still, mimicking a deer caught on a hunting trip.

There was nothing immediately in your line of sight that could be seen as a threat, but you had lived a long enough life to know that wasn't enough reason to let your guard down.

You're slow to rise to your feet and your ears are strained as you listen for whatever had made the noise.

"I'm sorry!"

You can feel your body relax when you hear Link's voice call out from behind a tree. You sink back to your knees without much thought, clutching the fabric of your top to calm your battering heart.

You weren't sure what you were going to do if it were an actual danger anyway.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he continues. His arms move and you can see one drop against the side of a tree while the other tightens around the corpse of an animal. "You were so still, I wasn't sure if you were okay."

A quiet, breathless noise leaves you. You're not sure if he could hear it, but you can see his shoulders relax when you do. "You're— You're fine! I just.. didn't know that you'd be out and about at this time."

When the hand not occupied with that week's dinner (barely) lifts to grab ahold of a tree branch, you're shocked to just now find out how tall he is.

"It's not your fault. I didn't know you were out here," he grunts while gently tugging at the branch. "Are you alone?"

Your eyes drop to the flora that surrounds you to not feel so invasive. Your fingers rub against the blades of grass idly when a restless feeling overtakes you. "A few of the kids said they'd join me later, but I'm not too sure when that's supposed to be." A short, genuine laugh leaves you. "I wouldn't be surprised if they forgot."

Link lets out his own, quiet laughter that you can only clue together when you see the entire tree shake in your peripheral. "I wouldn't take it to heart. They say they'll join me in hunting all the time but never do."

"Have you ever given them a stern talking to? I've heard that usually works with spirits."

"They barely listen to me as is. I think you'd have more luck than me."

"Is that an offer?"

"Are you headed home now?"

A strange vice tightens around your heart at his wording while you look through your bag. "Mhm," you hum, standing now that your legs aren't like that of a newborn. "You'll have to remind me of the way, though."

"I can guide you," he hums in reply. "You just can't look back."

Turning your back to him, you're surprised you don't jump when a sharp claw gives a ghostly touch to the center of your back.

You're shocked that you disregard the urge to check over your shoulder every step back to the manor.

You were no stranger to 'ire's night terrors.

They'd gotten better over the past few years as he aged, but all that progress had been undone during the near month you'd been in the forest.

Wiping away the tears that had managed to slip out, you ignore the prickly and uncomfortable feeling that comes with keeping your lulling head up so you can watch him.

You'd done it a thousand times before and would do it one thousand and one more if it meant he felt better.

You don't miss how his grip on your arm tightens when you start humming his favorite song. Your hand trails up to his hairline, nails (claws?) tracing the paint on his face that refused to fade.

You'd spent so long trying to scrub them and the green marks off, you hadn't even realized his skin had started to pale into a sickly grey in patches while darkening into (what looked like) a necrotic black in others.

You didn't even want to think about the changes that had started coming to your body.

You were, however, thankful you weren't thinning into a stalfos.

"You're not as sneaky as you'd like to think."

"How'd you know?"

"I have a young nephew. You learn quickly."

A brief laugh leaves Link from behind the cracked door. Though you didn't face him, you could see the way his eyes illuminated the wall in front of you, even managed to catch on some of 'ire's face.

It was a pretty blue color.

You don't comment on it.

"What's wrong?" Your voice has a deep rasp to it, your hand continuing to stroke your nephew's face even after he begins to calm down.

He'd slowly begun dropping more and more barriers (physical and mental) when it came to communicating with you both, having taken up shadows in their stead. He had gotten more confident in conversation as well, stammering and stuttering less the longer your nephew forced him to talk.

It makes you wonder how long it'd take for him to finally make true on those dinner plans.

"I heard him," Link hums just as quietly, the glow of his eyes moving to instead look over the sleeping spirits that crowded themselves around the space not occupied on the bed. "I was worried. Do you want help with them?"

A soft laugh leaves you when one of the imps buries their head onto your calf as though it were a pillow. "They've been like this since we first got here. 'ire," you press a kiss to his forehead when he rouses, waiting for him to settle before speaking again, "says they like to cling."

"You don't mind?"

"He's not too far off from them nowadays."

"Does he miss anything?"

Laying on your back, you being 'ire's head to rest against your shoulder. Your gaze is finally able to see how he'd take up all of the doorway (and then some) through the crack of the door.

You'd be shocked he hadn't flinched away if it hadn't been for the way his hand reached out to clasp it.

The tips of his fingers reached well past the frame of the door, his claws further, and you could only imagine just how much space he was taking up in the small hallway.

You were confident he could fit five or six of you in his hand without trying.

Your eyes jump back to the three (possibly four?) eyes before he can become self-conscious.

"Almost everything," you answer after pulling yourself from your thoughts. "His clothes, his dolls.. He could go without his friends, though."

His eyes jump from your face to the window as he huffs out a nervous laugh. It makes you wonder if he knows something you don't, but you don't push. "And you?"

"Hmm?"

"And yourself," he clarifies, "what do you miss?"

You're silent.

What exactly did you miss?

The feeling of your village's grass between your toes after the rain, the baker's treats that no other could replicate, being a part of such a tight-knit community, the sun after a particularly muggy morning—

There wasn't any need to be a sap.

"I'm not sure," you finally say after a long period of silence. You hadn't realized your eyes had left Link, yet when you force your gaze back to him, he holds it without issue. "I struggled with becoming attached to things unlike 'ire."

"Hm."

"What?"

"I can't remember the last time someone said something like that."

"You have visitors like us often?"

"More than you'd think."

"And what's become of them?"

The glow of his eyes drops to the sleeping spirits that litter before looking to the window again and you quickly understand.

The hum that leaves your throat is more lackluster than you intended it to be, but given how quickly the topic had changed, you give yourself the grace.

"Well," you start after clearing your throat, "what's something that you miss?"

The manor creaks when Link leans against a wall and his confidence in the movement tells you more than you'd expected.

You don't think you'd ever have the same amount of trust he held in it.

There's a playful tone in his voice when he speaks, one of his hands raised to scratch against his chin. "You'd have to promise not to be dramatic when I say."

"Is it my fault you use such outdated terms thousands of years behind my time?"

Link turns away to stifle his laughter, shrouding the room in darkness and forcing your eyes to strain with it.

"I can't say I've had the easiest experience understanding you or your nephew's sayings," he hums, drowning you in the light of his eye when he turns back, "the kids have to keep filling me in."

"Shame, and here I thought you'd been closer to my age. Have you been leading me on this entire time?"

Link's claws knock against the wall, his tail wagging against the floor while he huffs his amusement. "Have I? When I don't even know your name?"

If the weight of 'ire wasn't on your shoulder, you're sure you would've had a physical reaction of some sort.

"It'd do you good to not forget it," he hums, the movement of his tail slowing until it stops entirely. "Titi and Auntie, as much as I hate to say it, won't do much good."

Another lackluster noise leaves you as the arm trapped underneath your nephew lifts to rub your thumb during his forehead. "How fun."

"The kids are too attached to do anything now." The door slowly creaks open before stopping. It shuts so there's only a crack instead. "You'll be fine to share your name now."

"You never answered my question."

"Which one?"

"I haven't asked a lot," you huff before taking a softer tone, eyes rolling closed. "What is it that you miss?"

Link quietly snorts, muffling it by pressing his face to the door. He takes a steadying breath before saying a quiet, "a lot, I suppose. I can't name just a few things." A low noise leaves him, it's similar to a growl. "My friends? Playing music as well— my hands aren't good for much but skewering these days. My horse, Epona, too. She was the prettiest mare."

"Is she red with a white mane?"

"You saw the kids' drawings?"

"I've seen her before, I think— or maybe it was a hallucination?" The hand stroking 'ire's forehead stops as you scrounge your memories. "When I saw her outside the forest, I knew it was real. Another fated hero was mounting her."

You'd like to think yourself a master of figuring out what each noise he makes is meant to mean, but the one Link lets out once you finish speaking is short and of a higher pitch than normal.

When he begins to stammer over his words as he had when you first interacted with him, it feels like years' worth of progress has been undone.

"I— uhm— You— I don't— err— Thank—"

His tail thumps three times before he knocks his head against the door with a heavy groan. He lets out a quiet "Hylia, be damned," you couldn't help but think he hoped you wouldn't hear to go along with his frustration.

"It's been a long night," you finally prompt. "You'd best get some shut-eye before 'ire bombards you with more from his imagination, yeah?"

"Yeah," Link answers in a weak voice. "Yeah," he repeats to himself more than anything, "of course. Good night," he steps away from the door. "Sleep well."

"Same for you."

The night Link finally takes you and 'ire up on your offer for dinner, your nephew and the spirits had taken to floating around the east wing's dining room to prepare it for such a grand event.

"Titi, titi!" One of the Kokiri exclaims, tugging at the fabric of your skirt (that Link had made out of a spare bedsheet). Her voice had a strange echo to it— all of them, really— and had given you migraines up until you'd finally become accustomed to it. "'ire says that you'll make your world-famous pudding! Will you? Will you?"

You ignore her exaggeration in favor of forcing yourself to wrench your eyes away unless you wanted her puppy dog face to work on you. "Should I? I.. I can't say any of you have been acting well enough to deserve it.."

Even in your peripheral, it's not hard to miss the absolutely crushed look on her face. Her eyes were wide and her bottom lip wobbling like she was about to cry despite your joking tone.

"But why—y," she whines, dragging the last syllable on while hiccuping on her breath as she went on. You know the tears pooling in her eyes are just as fake as your rejection of her request— but you know just as well who'll win the battle at the end of the day.

"I—" hiccup. "Want—" hiccup. "Cake—" hiccup.

You raise a brow. "Pudding or cake, sweetheart? I can't make both."

The girl begins to climb your back while you return to sautéing the vegetables, arms wrapping around your neck so she can press her cheek against yours. "Cake! No, pudding! No! Cake! No—"

"I'll tell you what," you interrupt, taking the pan from over the open flame once the food is charred to your liking. Your skin thanks you when you step away and douse the fire, the arid air leaving through the open window. "Why don't you ask a few of the others which they want then we can try and get Link to bake it after dinner?"

The girl jumps off your back with stars practically filling her eyes. She cries out for several names while she runs off, hands clapping excitedly as she shouts out the change in plans.

You're left in peace until your nephew enters with his journals clutched between his arms, bouncing between his feet while he watches you finish plating each food item on dishes you could only dream of owning where you're from.

"D'you think he'll come?" 'ire's voice is low, almost as though scared Link will hear. You know he does if the night of his nightmares a few months ago were anything to go by— but he didn't need to know that.

"He'd better," you answer in an equally low tone. "I didn't spend so long slaving away at this just for him not to."

"Is that a threat?"

The plates in your hands aren't spared by the flinch that wracks through your body. Your reflexes are quick to catch them before any of the food can hit the floor.

'ire, on the other hand, has no issue with voicing his shock in the form of a scream, scurrying from the doorway while dropping his journals. He jumps behind you, hands clutching the fabric of your skirt while he hides himself behind your hip.

"Well?"

Placing a hand over your racing heart after putting the plates down, your other hand comes down to rest on 'ire's head. "It's rude to sneak up on people, you know."

The blond fur of his chest rustles with his laughter. It was difficult to see much else other than that, what with the way he hid himself behind the wall connecting the kitchen to the pantry.

You hadn't even heard his footsteps or creaking floorboards when he first approached. Had he been there the entire time and 'ire hadn't seen him, or had he only walked in after 'ire entered?

You wondered if he was naturally quiet or if he just learned which floorboards were loose.

"Is it sneaking when you were expecting me?" Link's voice is lighter than it usually is, a slight tremble could even be heard if you focused on it enough. He rocks on his feet and briefly leans forward, a less organic-looking side profile coming into view before leaving right after. "If I knew I would be this unwelcomed, I—"

"That's a joke, right?" 'ire stomps away from your side while he speaks, stepping over his discarded compilations of works to stare up at Link with wide eyes. Your nephew ignores the way Link's hands raise to cover his face and how he backs away as soon as he pivots in his foot to face him. "You're not actually gonna pansy out, right?"

Your feet lead you to the two before you can have much of a thought. "Zaire," you say in a terse voice, taking hold of his shoulder and bringing him against your front so you can stop him from interrogating the poor man. "Don't be rude."                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Whatever argument he has dies on his tongue when he takes a good, long look at Link. His mouth gaped open like a fish, one of his fingers lifting so he could push it into the fur of his stomach, watching the skin beneath sink with the force of it as though it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Woah."

If you had any less sense of dignity, you'd let yourself have the same reaction.

"Don't be rude," you reiterate, pushing Zaire's hand down until it finally reaches its rightful place at his side.

"No," Link breathes into his palms, clearing his voice to try and rid it of the anxiety (and, possibly, humiliation). "He's— he's fine. This wouldn't be the first time someone responded like that. I'd be more concerned if he did any other way."

Zaire shrugs your hands from your shoulders, stepping until he is toe-to-claw with Link. "Then why are you hiding your face? It can't be that bad," he says, tugging at the fur of Link's elbows, rubbing them between his fingers so he could better be accustomed to the texture.

Spreading his fingers enough so you both could see the four holes in the inorganic material, Link lets out another heavy breath. "I'm self-conscious," he can tell the answer doesn't please Zaire and continues speaking, "It's been.. too long.. since I've shown anyone either of my faces."

"A mask is.." Your voice falters off when you finally find the words to speak, losing them again when you fail to find a proper way to articulate your thoughts.

"It's mostly you and the kids, no?" You try again when you figure out a way to better word it. "Is a mask not.. Is it.. necessary?"

When the blue light that emits from his eyes lifts to look at you, an unidentifiable emotion shoots through you. He holds your gaze for a few, silent moments before turning his head and dropping his hands.

"It's like a second skin," he simply offers.

"Sad," Zaire sighs, backing away and turning until he stood in the center of the kitchen. "Can you still eat with it? Like I said, Auntie is the best cook in all the realms and you have to taste it to believe it."

Curse your nephew's skill of lightening a mood.

Rather than let his insecurities keep him from looking at either of you for the duration of the night, Link looks down at Zaire with a playful jolt of his shoulders. "It's not fused with my face."

Zaire's eyes curl into crescents while he grabs two of the plates from the counter. "Good!" His tail (a terrifying new addition when he first started changing) wraps around the third dish, walking himself past the two of you in the pantry so he could place each one on the dining table. "You'll love this then! Auntie," you don't miss the way he adds your name causally, "always makes this on a big day!"

Link repeats your name under his breath before doing the same with Zaire's. He lets out a thoughtful nod as each one rolls off his tongue, one pair of eyes looking at you while the other continues to follow your nephew.

He wrings his hands together when he catches the way you examined him oh-so-carefully, arms crossed with your head tilted.

"It's nice," he gulps as though every inch of nervousness had reentered his body. "It's a nice name. I like it. It suits you."

You don't know if you were teasing him prior, but you decide to do so now.

"I'd hope so." You pat a hand against his arm as you walk into the kitchen, ignoring the oily feel of his fur. You ignore the feeling of him watching and instead focus on searching through the cupboards for the drink you had foraged around to make just days before. "I could say the exact same for you, thankfully."

"Now, why don't you have a seat so I can play host this time?"

[piedpiperslists]

Hey cutieeeeee

How r u?

Do u have any sad fic recs? Like heart wrenching angst that'll make you cry?

❤❤❤

Hi. I've had so much going on these past months so I haven't been on here as much, but I'm hoping to get back to reading fics before the year ends. Fingers crossed I don't get distracted by other things before this happens 😅

There's quite a lot of angsty fics with happy endings that made me cry lmao but I'm going to assume by heart wrenching you mean fics with no happy endings.

I already have a list here for breakup (KSJ, JJK) and unrequited love (KSJ, JJK) fics. You can also check the general angst tag here (KSJ, JJK).

But let me list here some fics that still hurts me to this day whenever I'm reminded of it :'). PS I haven't read any fics since April so none of these are recent fics.

* s - contains smut

Seokjin:

Don’t Let It Fade by wtf-yoongi - drabble / angst, established relationship Summary: Sh*t happens and you’re trying to understand what you’re feeling.

Point of Origin and Intersections by vanaera - drabble / angst, established relationship Summary: People come and go at certain points of your life. You just didn’t expect you’ll find yourself and Seokjin back to where you started.

Vow by vin-taege - drabble / angst, unrequited love, friends au Summary: You looked beautiful walking down the aisle. His tux was cleanly pressed, his hair sweeping into a curve above his eyes. It was exactly as he pictured it to be, and he couldn’t help but cry.

Daffodil Street by vantaenims - one shot / wc~8.1k / angst, unrequited love, friends au Summary: You’ve been struggling for quite some time to overcome your feelings for your best friend who doesn’t even love you the way that you do but there are instances when he would ignite your hopes or maybe this is all just in your mind but is too much to ask for something more?

Exile by joheunsaram - one shot / wc~2.8k / angst, exes au Summary: When Seokjin sees you with your new boyfriend, all he wants is to get you back. Based on the song exile by Taylor Swift.

La Douleur Exquise by junqkook - one shot (s) / wc~3.6k / angst, soulmates au Summary: The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.

Seven Seconds in Heaven by jimlingss - one shot / wc~5.8k / angst, established relationship Summary: In the moment of your death, Heaven drops the hammer of punishment; making him travel back in time to relive memories that can never be changed. Seven memories. Seven minutes in each. Seven seconds before they are ripped away.

Jungkook:

Dressed in White by vi061313 - drabble / angst, unrequited love, friends au Summary: He took one last shaky breath and watched with a tight, sour feeling in his chest as you turned away from him and faced your groom, smiling even wider, so wide he was sure your cheeks would rip.

Goodnight by latetaektalk - drabble / angst, breakup au Summary: Jungkook and you lay in bed one last time as you talk about your failing relationship.

I Know the End by onlyswan - drabble / angst, breakup au Summary: But you had to go, I know, I know, I know. The End I Didn’t Know by onlyswan - drabble (s) / angst, exes au Summary: After awhile you went quiet, and I got mean.

Champagne Problems by yoongiphoria - one shot / wc~2.3k / angst, established relationship Summary: He gave you his heart to hold, and you hope to god that someone, someday, can put the shards back together.

Covert Affairs by minisugakoobies - one shot (s) / wc~4.3k / angst, enemies au, spies au Summary: The five times you cross paths with legendary spy Jeon Jungkook.

Even Winter Ends by jysmloves - one shot / wc~3k / angst, breakup au Summary: Jeon Jungkook is winter, but like all seasons, winter eventually comes to an end.

Lifting the Veil by fortunexkookie - one shot (s) / wc~3.5k / angst, unrequited love, friends au Summary: Jungkook had always known that the happiest day of your life was going to be his worst, but he never imagined the reason why would’ve been anything other his love for you.

And while were on fics that made me cry, let me recommend this once again lol

The End by jimlingss - one shot / wc~31k Summary: It’s been a habit of yours to vent in the form of love letters. There’s six in total. They’re kept secret, hidden in your closet. But on your 30th birthday, what you least expect is for each letter to become reality. All done by the whacky ghost of Christmas future trying to grant your birthday wish.

[gabithefanwriter]

Crash the Wedding, Kidnap the Bride, Simple Plan

Edgin x Female Reader

I watched this movie back in April okay? Don’t hate me lmao

I shook my head, feeling the emotions overwhelm me. I wanted to cry so badly, but I had to stand strong.

I made a promise. I couldn’t break it, but still...

I wanted to be with my real family, not this one that makes plans for me. I am a Princess, and I could never be a free soul, even as I learned the ways of becoming a cleric. I still had to say goodbye to Doric, to Simon, Holga, Kira and Edgin.

Edgin.

I hated myself for it. The heartbroken yet surprised looks they had all given me for revealing who I was, who I truly was.

The large white gown stood like a creampuff around me. I anted to tear it all off, but I stood still as my handmaidens placed on my tiara and my veil, handing me the bouquet full of daisies. I looked in the mirror and saw the necklace that I had to hide soon.

A necklace in the shape of a forget-me-not. My favourite flower.

I still hated myself for falling for the bard. The thief, the father of the little girl who I began to consider as my own. 

Why did I have to fall for Edgin of all people?

“Your Majesty,” I turned to a guard who nodded his head, “It’s time.”

My time as a maiden was almost up. Soon, I was to be wed to the Prince of another nearby kingdom. One I despised.

I felt my heart ache as I slowly made my way towards the great hall. I had to fight the urge to cry. I was doing this for my kingdom. For my people. I would lose my happiness for everyone I held dear, doing everything they wanted. 

But for now, I could only smile as I gently touch the necklace before going, taking in the feeling of freedom for only a little bit longer before it completely slips through my fingers.

***************

I was walking down the aisle, my veil hiding my look of defeat. I could see him there, smiling as if I were a prize to be won. I bit my lip as I finally made my way towards him, gently stepping on the podium. The priest was there, and I felt my freedom slowly slip away. I couldn’t hear the priest, I couldn’t focus on the prince before me, all I thought about was Edgin. His sweet, bright colourful and full of mischief eyes. Edgin, the bard who sang to me when I needed it, the man who showed me true freedom, who I had chased away after I revealed my identity to protect them. 

Edgin, the man I wanted to actually marry.

“If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace...”

“I OBJECT!”

My eyes turned and I saw him there, the doors falling closed behind him, throwing him forward. I swore I heard him mutter something along the lines of “that wasn’t how I planned it but sure I guess”. He then looked up to me, and I felt my heart race at the look he gave me. “I object to this wedding.”

I didn’t dare fight the smile that slowly creeped up on my lips, even as my eyes held worry as I stared, “Edgin, what are you-?”

“I don’t want you to marry anyone, Y/n,” he began softly, making his way to me as I slowly got down to meet him halfway, holding his face in my hands. He continued, “I only want you to marry me, because you’ve made me so happy in ways I thought I’d never feel again. I want to be by your side, and I want you by mine, because I love you, Y/n/n. You matter so much to me.”

I smiled, a stray tear falling down my cheek, “I love you too, Edgin.”

I wanted to kiss him, but I felt myself get ripped away from his hold. “Edgin - NO! EDGIN!”

He outstretched a hand to reach me, but the guards pulled us away from each other, and I couldn’t help but thrash against them. I was brought to stand with my betrothed as Edgin was held by the guards, looking at my father. “You - YOU BARD! I told you to leave my daughter alone!”

“You are a thief!” The prince cried out, “Trying to steal my bride!”

Edgin only smirked, “I confess: I am a bard, a talented, good-looking one, and I confess that yes, I am a thief, but I didn’t try to steal your bride. I already stole her heart,” his eyes met mine with a mischievous glint, “So it’s only fair I steal the rest of her from you.”

I looked up and saw Simon and Holga and before I knew it, chaos was everywhere. My hand was caught and then dragged away, and I only saw the giant distractions they added, including smoke and thievery of jewels. I looked up to see who held my hand, smiling as I realised it was Edgin. I paused only to rip off the giant skirt and continued running with him. Keeping a fair distance, I saw the horses and quickly jumped up, grabbing the reins as I settled into the seat and galloped away from the church. I saw Simon and Holga catching up, and I laughed, letting out a yell of delight. 

I was free. 

I turned to look at Edgin with a giant grin on my face after we slowed to a walk. His smile mirrored mine. 

We soon reached the house where I saw Doric and Kira. I happily jumped off the horse and ran to an already sprinting Kira, throwing herself in my arms. I smiled and picked her up. “Hey kiddo.”

She squeezed me even tighter, and I felt tears running down her face, dripping onto my neck. “I thought you left for good.”

I didn't fight to remove the smile from my face, my own tears slipping as I just embraced her. "I'm here, Kira, I'm here to stay."

She slowly pulled away, "Good, because as much as I missed you, dad missed you even more."

I felt my cheeks warm up, along with the ends of my ears, nervously biting my lip as I turned to see everyone going in the house.

****

Dinner had ended hours ago, stars beginning to shine through as I stayed there, on the roof of the house.

I was finally free.

My mind wavered back to my wedding, when Edgin told me he loved me.

"Enjoying the view?"

I turned my head to see him, smiling as he sat beside me. I looked back at the stars, smiling. "Yes, I really am."

We sat there, just staring until I decided to finally break the tension. "Did you mean what you said?"

Edgin turned to face me, "Huh? You mean back at the church?"

I nodded, and I saw a smile break onto his lips. He caressed my cheek, my heart beginning to race as I felt him get closer. "I do. I love you, Y/n. I never thought I could love again after..."

After Kira's mother. His wife.

I went to cup his cheeks, smiling at him reassuringly. "I love you too, Edgin. Really, I do."

I finally let our lips connect, and it felt perfect, as cheesy as it sounded. Fireworks erupted in my chest as I brought myself closer and closer, until there was barely any room left. I was free, I was with my family, I was with the love of my life.

Nothing could ruin this moment for me.

After we separated, his eyes were full of love, until he asked a question, a look of worry.

"Will the guards be after you?"

I thought about it, "Possibly. I'm unsure, but there is a possibility."

I heard Edgin groan, and I couldn't help but laugh. "That's what happens when you rescue a princess-cleric and steal her from a wedding."

"Are you complaining though?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow with a smirk. I shook my head. "Not one bit."

[noona96n]

Yoh & Segasaki's timeline

According to Episode 7 (around the 00:33 minute mark), Yoh and segasaki have only been living together for four months. And Nikke-sensei's tweet, also clarifies that the proposal was made 3 years ago and that they’ve only been living together since March or April; which explains, in part, their shit communication lmao. 

Series timeline: June to July of year zero 

Ep 1: June 3rd (Sat)

The sunny weather forecast with Segasaki and Takatsu Reiko around the 12:30 minute mark in the latter part of Episode 1 is for 6月3日 (土). That means the present timeline, as in the drama, starts at the beginning of June; which tracks with the weather in the current episode and the weather in future episodes. Rainy season (梅雨 tsuyu) in Kanto (that includes Tokyo and Yokohama) usually starts in early June and lasts until mid-July, and, by then, typhoons already started ravaging the nation every two days lol 

Ep 2: June 8th (Thur) 

At the 8:03 minute mark, we find out that Hiyoshi Aika starts her job at EW (AHAHA WHAT A GOOFY ABBREVIATION) on the 8th of June (Hiyoshi Aika starts the broadcast by announcing the date: 六月八日). By June 10th, Yoh full-on became a sad, sulky puppy who’s pouting cutely as he made his sad stir-fry pork dinner (Yoh’s phone screen at the 9:05 minute mark reads ６月10日 土曜日). 

Around 9:56 minute mark the in-universe weather forecast shows forecasts for the 12th (Mon), 13th (Tue), 14th (Wed), 15th (Thur), 16th (Fri), 17th (Sat), and 18th (Sun) in Sapporo, Tokyo, Nagoya, Osaka, Fukuoka, and Naha, suggesting that the day that Yoh resorts to making the Teru Teru Bouzu is June 11th. (Teru Teru Bouzu is a small ghost-like white doll people hang around the house in the hope of stopping the rain and bringing about good weather. Yoh’s desperate for some dicking down lol.) So, the day Yoh got frustrated and masturbated for erotic manga inspiration is at least a day after June 11th. Yoh and Segasaki’s clothes changed by then (the most noticeable is Segasaki’s shirt and tie). 

Since the tail end of Episode 2 probably takes place on June 12th, at the earliest, we can only assume that Episode 3 and 4 take place over the weekend of the 17th and 18th. Or the next weekend after. I’m tempted to even suggest that both episodes take place on the weekend of 24th (Sat) and 25th (Sun) because of how loud the cicadas were in the background in the 4th episode with Man-san. Cicadas in Japan are no joke, guys, they are so fucking damn loud, RIP ears, you will be missed. 

Ep 6: July 24th (Mon) 

*** I think canon dates broke down from Episode 5 onward… Around the 14:47 minute mark of Episode 5, Segasaki and Hiyoshi were presenting the weather for the 7th (Thur). There’s no monthly indication but we can assume that it’s in July; July because we were just in June in the first four episodes but also because (the beginning of) July is when the (awful, terrible, no good) heatwave starts taking Japan by storm (it lasts until fucking August and even spills into September this goddamn year, I kid you not; it was horrible). But, in Episode 6, the weather forecast at the end of the episode (around the 21:33 minute mark) was for 24th (Mon). If the 7th was a Thursday, then the 24th should be a Sunday, not a Monday. 

That’s why I’m just gonna disregard the 7th (Thur) in Episode 5, though I do think it takes place at the beginning of June or the end of July. Also, if we disregard that and count the days from Episode 1 (Saturday, June 3rd), then Monday, July 24th would make sense in Episode 6. So, let's go with that.

By the end of Episode 6, it’s the 24th of July. I know this is a while from Episode 5 but if we consider Man-san’s My Idol Boyfriend manga, then it makes sense. Yoh was ‘offered a job’ by Man-san pretty much immediately after he got dropped by his editor and by Episode 7, their manga was already in print. It would take them some time to finish their manga; less than a month is a very tight time to write, storyboard, edit, and have it approved but let’s make believe lol 

Ep 7: Typhoon No. 5

At the beginning of Episode 7 (around the 00:09 minute mark), Typhoon No. 5 was forecasted to take Tokyo by storm tomorrow. That kinda checks out, to be honest. Typhoon season in Japan could start as early as mid-May and could last until mid-October, depending on how early or late the heat begins and how long it’ll last. So I do think Episode 7 takes place some time after July 24th. 

Interesting tidbit: typhoons in Japan aren’t given names but are usually referred to by numbers. 

Personal (interesting?) tidbit #1: the first year I came to Japan, the super typhoon Hagibis made landfall in Japan. It was the strongest typhoon to hit Japan in decades and it was one of the strongest and biggest ever recorded. It was hella scary, not gonna lie lol and food was all out, even from the convenience stores. Fortunately, I was living in central Tokyo and wasn’t affected. Still scared though…. And, the crazy thing was, an earthquake struck the coast of Chiba before the typhoon hit so the typhoon’s effect was compounded. Wasn’t a fun experience, 0/10, do not recommend. 

Personal (interesting?) tidbit #2: my parents visited me this passing late May to early June, around the time typhoon Mawar wasn’t waging war in the Pacific. It was not a fun experience… we weren’t directly struck by it but the effects were kinda crazy: roads were closed, trains were suspended, rivers were flooded, and shops and restaurants were mostly closed. Felt really bad cause I took my family to Hakone (booked everything ages in advance and couldn’t cancel our reservation RIP) and we were just stranded up there… thankfully the sky cleared by our last day there and we were able to catch a glimpse of Fuji on our Ashi-no-ko’s cruise and on the train back to Tokyo. Still, wasn’t a fun experience, 0/10, do not recommend. 

Japan’s a wonderful place to visit though! Just… pick the right time. (I recommend autumn (Oct-Nov) because the weather’s great, the food’s fucking amazing, and the autumn foilage’s pretty rad.) 

Ep 8: July 28th 

The date after their (mildly) kinky sexy time was July 28th (Fri). The date can be found on Man-san’s phone around the 11:00 minute mark (7月28日、金曜日). 

There’s also another time indication later in the episode around the 17:13 minute mark where Yoh and Segasaki last texted on July 26th. Segasaki was telling Yoh about the rain and Yoh’s responses were pretty frosty if I’m being honest. Their texts go like this:

Segasaki: 今日午後から雨降る (It’s gonna rain this evening) Yoh: ありがとう (thanks) Segasaki: 洗濯物取り込んどけよ (bring the laundry in) Yoh: うん (k) 

It’s… frosty. Bare minimum from Yoh. Ofc he’s just feeling guilty (about the manga situation and stuff) but, y’know… it feels cold to Segasaki. I honestly feel really bad for the guy lol, especially because, from his perspective, Yoh’s only thinking about leaving and Yoh’s touchy-feely with that editor guy, and Yoh smiles happily and fully at and with that editor guy, and Yoh’s tired from being with him. 

Anyway, the series takes place from June to July of year zero and that’s canon. There, I said it. 

Yoh moving in: April of year zero

As you can see from my shittily drawn ‘graph’, I place Yoh’s moving in with Segasaki at April. This tracks with the timeline and Nikke-sensei’s clarification as well as in-universe narrative of them only been living together for four months. But, I’m extra so I’m gonna explain why (I found out about sensei’s tweet after figuring out the timeline lol)... and it’s not just backtracking from July. 

So, in Japan, the year usually ‘starts’ in April; as in the school year and the fiscal year ends in March and starts in April. This applies to leases as well: contracts are usually for 2 years and will likely end in March. Housing is in very high demand during that time and the prices for each unit are also very expensive because of that. Of course, you can rent a unit any time of the year but the good ones are also mostly available and up for grabs in the March-April period. (Renting a unit in Japan is… an experience lol and not a fun one. My being a foreigner does not help one bit because many landlords do not accept foreign tenants no matter who you are, where you’re from, or what you’re in Japan for.) 

Anyways, as Yoh can see, I think that Yoh graduated in year zero… so, that’s a winter graduation some time in February. (People also graduate in summer some time in August but it’s much rarer because most Japanese enter uni in Spring (April). People who graduate in September are either those who extend their uni year or foreign students who enter during the Autumn intake in September because that’s when the English program school year start (in my department, at least… I entered in April and graduated my Master's 3 years later in February but it’s a somewhat special case.)

Anyway!!! Yoh graduates ‘this’ year so, that means his lease will be up too and it makes perfect sense for him to move with Segasaki around late March or early April. 

The proposal: mid-Feb —  late-March three years ago

I place the proposal at the end of Winter, beginning of Spring in year minus-three. Weather-wise, it’s plausible because we know that the day of the proposal was unusually warm for the time and February is easily one of the coldest months in Japan. And, even though Spring starts in March, warmth doesn’t really come around until later in the month or even April. (It snowed in March, once. In Tokyo. It rarely ever snows in Tokyo but it’s been snowing every other year since I came here.) 

I also headcanon that Segasaki graduated (his Master's) that minus-three year while Yoh is only in his second year of bachelor’s. My logic is that because he’s graduating, this could be his last desperate attempt to lock Yoh down and make sure Yoh’s spoken for (Yoh’s just a dumb-dumb who doesn’t recognize a proposal lol). It also makes sense for the proposal to come up at that period if we think about it… Mizuki’s graduating and Yoh could be asking him about his jobs after graduation and whatever else which, in turn, allows Mizuki to start a conversation about Yoh’s plan for the future. It’s also not uncommon for peeps to hang around uni before they start their jobs (for whatever reasons) so it makes sense to me that the proposal was in some time between Mizuki’s graduation in mid-Feb till late-March, when Yoh’s about to start his new school year and Segasaki will have to start his job. (This could be when Yoh finds out Segasaki will be working with EW and starts watching the broadcast religiously.) 

Job prospect-wise, it’s pretty solid. Segasaki’s confident that he’d be working in a high-paying job when he proposed to Yoh. If Segasaki’s graduating in year minus-three, then he’d extremely likely to already have a job lined up for him; he’s just gonna immediately enter the workforce right out of uni. This is very common in Japan. University graduates are socially expected and pressured into working immediately after finishing their studies which is why it’s common practice for them to start their job-hunting process during the second to last or last year at uni. It’s generally advised that they start second to last year in uni (B3 if you’re in your bachelor’s and M1 if you’re in your Master's) because the process is long and drawn out and it could be a very long time before a job is offered. It’s also ill-advised to do your job-hunting in your final year because final year can be very hectic for some; some B4 and M2 students need to write their thesis, do graduation projects, finish up their experiments, etc. it’s not fun to add job-hunting into the mix. So, even if the proposal happened right after Segasaki’s graduation, Segasaki would be confident that he’d be able to support both of them just fine. 

Why I don’t think Yoh did his job hunting 

I honestly don’t think Yoh did his job-hunting because:

As I talked about here, Yoh became anxious about jobs and job-hunting in general in Episode 5 and this could imply that he didn’t go through the process while he was in university. You could do it on your own, but it’s difficult. That’s why many students take advantage of the recruitment offered by universities. Many also make use of other public recruitment services. 

Yoh’s the kind of person who does things at his own pace and does what he wants. I.E. 1; Yoh is a slow walker who has always walked slow. Segasaki made a point of commenting about his pace but instead of increasing his speed to match that of his sempai’s, he continued at his own pace and said he’s been told that before, and Segasaki was forced to match his pace. Yoh’s aware of his snail's pace, he was criticized for it but said fuck all and went about walking at his speed anyway. This is very not-Japanese. I.E. #2; He doesn’t really care to socialize. That’s it, that’s the reason. I.E. #3; my guy used 俺 (ore) with the stranger seniors. Peeps aren’t expected to drop 俺 (ore) and go for 僕 (boku) when talking to seniors anymore but they’re strangers… he should be using 僕 (boku). I.E. #4; he made fucking curry rice for a sick person because that’s the only thing he can make. Curry rice. He could’ve googled how to make porridge but nah, curry rice lol. I.E. #5; arguing with his editor that the ‘I love you’ dialogue is necessary in his 20 pages long porn manga. I don’t man, Yoh’s not afraid to do his own shit and he totally seems like the kinda guy who’d fuck around and find out when it comes to his career. Which I think is why Yoh’s secured that he has a patron in Segasaki and decided not to do his job-hunting. 

Yoh & Segasaki’s first meeting: May —  June four years ago

I think Yoh first ‘met’ Segasaki four years ago; that’s his first year in university, and that would explain why he hasn’t seen Segasaki sooner. I placed their first meeting in May — June mainly because of their outfits. Everyone was wearing a Spring palette when we first saw them at the cafeteria, but they weren’t wearing any thick outer layers so that’s probably very late into Spring and early June. Their clothes also became progressively lighter throughout the flashback and, by the time Segasaki was sick, there were more layers on everyone again, esp. Segasaki, indicating that Autumn could’ve been around the corner. (Though this could just be due to the timing of the filming!)

Also, Segasaki’s friend asked for his notebook, implying that there’s a report/assignment/quiz coming up that he needs to prepare for. So, at least we know it’s definitely not the start of the semester.

On Mizuki’s Master’s level education 

I’ll be real… I’m entirely biased when it comes to Segasaki’s educational level. I have a Master's and I’m an old, I want my fav to be an old too haha. (I’m currently doing my PhD, it’s… going somewhere lmao) 

Anyway, I didn’t make him have a Master's just because… I think Segasaki has a position of seniority in the workplace despite his young age: he led the discussion and (I presume) implemented the new weather reporting system thing. He was also comfortable with rejecting the welcome dinner (歓迎会 kangeikai) for Hiyoshi… and his co-workers, who are obviously his seniors, just accept it as it is. You don’t just reject invitations to after-work dinners/parties, 飲み会 (nomikai), especially not the kangeikai. It’s a party to welcome new members; rejecting it means you’re not a team player and unwilling to bond with your co-workers to cultivate a harmonious workplace relationship, which is a no-no in Japan (please read up on 和 (wa) if you’re interested in learning why), and definitely a no-no if you’re not high-up in position. (There’s a lot of politics going on in the background that I’m not very familiar with. I understand the most basics; like filling superior’s glasses, ‘hanging out’ with superiors, being frank and up-front and coming away unscathed, power-harassment bosses forcing people to drink, etc.) So, Segasaki must’ve entered the workplace in a relatively high position; which is achievable with a Master's. 

Interesting tidbit #1: did you know, you don’t get fired from a workplace in Japan? If the company wanna lay off people, they usually just close the entire department lol crazy, I know, but it’s legit. It’s why people can be employed for life at work.

Interesting tidbit #2: not many Japanese students go for a Master's but when they do, they usually enter right after their Bachelor’s. However, there are certain majors where having a Master’s is advantageous and students are generally encouraged to go for it. I.E. my major, Architecture and Urbanism, and Civil Engineering. These majors typically take 5 years of undergrad for students to qualify as practitioners. In Japan, their Bachelor’s only lasts for 4 years and a 2 years Master’s will put them on the same level as other practitioners from abroad. (I did 5 years of Undergrad in Architecture and Urbanism and another 3 years for my M.Arch degree lol and there are years to go until I get my Doctoral RIP)

wrote this whole thing bcs of this silly lil fic lmao

[7grandmel]

Rip of the week: 26/08/2024

Welcome to 2021! They finally invented summers that hurt motherfuckers😂 only at sonicforces​.​com

Season 5 Featured on: Legends of the Western Sunset ~ The SiIvaGunner All-Star Summer Festival 2021 Collection

Ripped by Memmy (@memmy417)

If you've been keeping up with this blog, you may have noticed that my coverage tends to somewhat slant toward the more emotional, the "deep" and hard-hitting stuff on SiIvaGunner, be it with rips like i love(d) you and Apotheosis to Heaven or with the entirety of my #character archives posts. I can't hide that a lot of my appreciation for the SiIvaGunner channel is emotional, likely in large part because I'm not a ripper myself and thus can't always properly appreciate rips for their craft alone. But I do try to diversify the blog's portfolio from time to time since, well, it would frankly be inaccurate to present the channel as being nothing but feature-length epics and carefully-improvised lore. Many parts of SiIvaGunner's evolution are driven by ambition, yes - yet just a many, if not more, are driven by boredom, messing around, and just flat-out being silly with it. And perhaps no ripper embodies this better than the one responsible for Welcome to 2021! They finally invented summers that hurt motherfuckers😂 only at sonicforces​.​com and precisely two hundred and twentythree (223) other siiva rips - Memmy.

Rippers like Memmy, and rips just like the above, represent a hugely important part to SiIvaGunner's core, the one that predates even the channel itself: the spirit of SoundClown. SiIvaGunner as a channel was born through the ongoing antics and fun of a couple of teens on SoundCloud, messing around with mashups and video game music purely to make one another laugh. Despite joining the team four years after the channel's inception, it feels as if Memmy has embraced this original spirit more than anyone else, as should be immediately evident by the name of Welcome to 2021! They finally invented summers that hurt motherfuckers😂 only at sonicforces​.​com alone. The titles of her rips are always like this, just a complete stream-of-consciousness bit written without a second though, and no matter how many years pass it stays as such an evergreen reminder of the silliness that persists within SiIvaGunner - a silliness that of course bleeds into the rips themselves! And so, while I've technically covered a chunk of her rips prior back on the Raftmageddon event on April Fools, with classics like lmao and request by raftride7000 pikachu x pachirisu amv- what makes rafts rideable, I think it's high time to actually dig into a proper rip of hers.

When I say "silly" or other such terms in today's context, I'm sure a lot of you immediately start to think along the lines of "brainrot" content or ironic shitposting, along the lines of we are number one but with outdated memes over it, Mad Mew Mew Becoming Uncanny, Corridors of Vine or plenty of the rips being made currently in Season 8. But I believe that's misrepresenting the topic a bit - even things made to be conceptually stupid through their source, can be wielded with finesse and ambition for remixing projects just like high quality rips often are. Beyond the obvious example of the SiIvaGunner channel in its entirety, a more specific example would be Season 5's "Disappearance of Super Mario" event: an event born from a running joke on Twitter, spun into one of the most solid and gripping channel narratives we've seen on the channel through the ambition put into it, like with what I wrote about on Your Worst Nightmario. No, I suppose "silly" isn't quite the right word to describe rips like Welcome to 2021! They finally invented summers that hurt motherfuckers😂 only at sonicforces​.​com - but rather, that they have a sense of...playfulness? Its vibes extend all the way to the imagery you get of the ripper themselves sitting with a music file open and just messing around to see what would happen - I couldn't tell you what scenario would lead Memmy to, in 2021, combine music from 2017's Sonic Forces with Maroon 5's hit 2014 single This Summer's Gonna Hurt like a Motherfucker, other than one wherein the ripper in question was just testing things out for the pure fun of creation in of itself.

And that's really what I've been getting at with this post in general, how important that spirit is to the channel, and for the well-being of the internet in general: That spirit of completely unbothered, expectation-less creativity. One of my all-time favorite ripper replies I've gotten on this blog came from the ripper venula on Hella Pummel, wherein they described adding an additional source to the rip out of no reason other than simply because they felt it would be funny and sound good. Welcome to 2021! They finally invented summers that hurt motherfuckers😂 only at sonicforces​.​com champions that spirit loudly and proudly - the mashup between Sonic Forces music and the aforementioned hit Maroon 5 single is a complete left-field idea, but Memmy goes all-in to make sure it actually results in a genuinely fun listening experience. It's partially due to the choice of Ghost Town in particular as the backing track, giving the rip a funky, bouncy backing that perfectly complements the sound of post-Overexposed Maroon 5, but This Summer is additionally pitch-shifted (and generally seems to be in a slightly lower key?) to match Ghost Town's slightly moodier tone. The connection with Hella Pummel only grows stronger once Ghost Town reaches its chorus, adding a piece of German pop music that I swear I've heard used in shitposts before yet couldn't even begin telling you a morsel of information about. But, sure enough - it sounds good, and doesn't even override This Summer's presence on the rip, instead just adding one more layer of sound to the backing track's highest point.

As described in the beginning, rips like Welcome to 2021! They finally invented summers that hurt motherfuckers😂 only at sonicforces​.​com aren't necessarily the most complicated, most carefully woven masterpieces of our time - but I really don't want that to be construed as demeaning, or in any way negatively slanted. Because it's the rips just like Memmy's that keep the channel afloat, the rips made just out of sheer curiosity and fun at the computer, rips made to entertain the ripper just as much - if not more - than to entertain an audience. The magic at the beating heart of SiIvaGunner is the knowledge that rips come from everywhere, from all kinds of people, with all kinds of intentions - and that any rip has the capability of making someone smile. In truth, I think we all could use a little bit more playfulness in our lives, and Memmy appears all too happy to keep serving us with it for the foreseeable future.

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

MAG10 - Vampire Killer

*turns around in the most ugliest coolest yellowest office chair like a Bond villain, petting a baguette-shaped cushion* so, you came here from MAG9 without expecting the whiplash. Don't worry, you are not alone lmao

Trevor Herbert is like a homeless Chuck Norris, a shaggy Terminator, a Van Helsing lite (the Hugh Jackman one, not the original). He looks in your head like the dog in The Lady and The Tramp but in human version.

And the very first thing this mf says when he writes his statement is "I've been procrastinating this shit for 50 years, but hey, I finally came to the Magnus Institute". So better late than never and all that jazz.

Quoooooooting timeeeee:

"I hear someone even made me a page on the Internet and it got a few thousand likes. I don’t know exactly what that means but it sounds nice." - Trevor Herbert, July 10th 2010

Aww, doesn't he sound nice? :D

"Obviously that’s not why I’m here, though, is it? No, I’m here because I have also dedicated my life to finding and killing vampires." - Also f*cking Trevor

Sorry u wHAT

" (...) but I do not have proof to give you except for the vampire teeth that I will leave with this statement." - Trevor "I brought you a souvenir" Herbert

" I killed my first vampire in 1959." - Trevor Herbert, THE LEGEND THE MAN THE MYTH

You wish you sound as badass xD

"I was hit by a stale, coppery smell that I did not recognise as old blood at the time, since I was barely 16 and did not have then the experience I have now." - Trevor, barely 16 but already a poet

I find upsetting how many statement givers were so young they didn't know they were smelling blood.

"The furniture and wallpaper had clearly not been changed in many decades, and a thick layer of dust covered everything." - Trevor, 16, also an offended interior designer

LOL the landlord when he tells you " I just painted everything, it's all new"

"I remember wondering whether Sylvia McDonald walked exactly the same route through the house always, as I saw other clear lines of passage in the rooms we passed through." - Trevor "WTF" Herbert

" It was 1968, I remember because that was the year United won the European Cup, (...)" - Trevor "Yes, I'm British, why u asking?" Herbert

"I do not know if you’ve ever felt your blood being sucked out of you, but I would not recommend it." - By Trevor, 0/5, no stars

"Regardless, there is substantial evidence to support the version of events told by Mr. Herbert in all aspects except the vampirism." - Jon Sims, April 13th 2016

He really said "I believe everything except the vampire bullshit" XD

"(...) It may be that they take Mr. Herbert’s statement far more seriously than I do." - Also Jon

He sees that a lot of government and law people takes this statement seriously and goes "hm how weird, why tho, it's all bullshit"

Small review:

The vampires in the tma universe are so freaking weird, disturbing of course, personally I can't really tell if they are scary tho, but I'm certain they are a mystery.

Gotta say, RIP Nigel, he seemed nice :(

I must admit Trevor is quite an interesting figure, he's intelligent and resourceful, can do much with almost nothing and put together every piece of information he has in a way he can reach a satisfactory conclusion. And then he just sticks with it. There are these monsters, which I know how to kill, and so I do it. Simple. Efficient. Practical as hell.

This is also the second time going clubbing has ended horribly for someone in tma, and honestly? Wtf

This guy just die in the break room, like, lmao. He really said "no time like the present, may as well reach supersaiyan state in that couch over ther", and he fucking did it

And then Jon ends everything by showing a lot of evidences while acting the sceptic part and it's so goddamn funny. He should be a comedian.

General overview:

Vibe: this one is so fucking wild, nice homeless grandpa ends up being the modern Van Helsing and "dies" in a couch at paranormal research institute. Iconic

Horror: there are cryptids in it, that's horror genre coded

Audio: pretty ASMR in general

Humour: hilarious Terminator Grandpa, feat.Jon being Jon

Score: 10/10

[aviagin]

ROTTMNT Personal HeadCanons

The way I’m a Leo kinnie longed to be Mikey, seen as Ralph, and could never be Donnie is just wow to me. A couple of stray thoughts.

Leo gives Jake Peralta from Brooklyn99 vibes tell me I’m wrong you can’t

Mikey learns how to make teapots to be able to replace ol'skully for their dad. RIP pour one out for a beloved member of the family for generations.

I bet Splints probably misses the taste of plastic and evil too lmao. Mikey makes two versions he made the “Jupiter Jim sure taste funny” and the “before a sports ball was found.”

Leo starts chipping away at his shell to compensate for breaking Raph's shell. They start to notice the carelessness he has for his shell. Donnie is the first to realize how often he’s just softening blows or covering Mikey. Sure he can walk it off but just as easily he could have dodged.

Raph goes into Leo’s room and sees him picking at his shell. “Now I know I’m not the medic but he’d tell me to not pick”

Leo gets startled and does immediately stop. “Raph! What can yours truly most handsome brother do for you!?”

Raph sits with him not sure how to approach the topic. Of course, Raph has always been a talk less act now type of turtle why should that change now. He can’t hesitate, not when it comes to his brothers. . .his family. He brings it up. . .Seeing the twinge of guilt flash across Leo’s face is enough for him to want to drop it. No he has to explain and reassure Leo it’s not his fault. He didn’t break his shell the Kraang did. “But if you start to break yours for me. That means I’m causing it. Come on you want big bro Raph to lose his #1 EXboss mug.” And Leo is just like no I would never want you to lose your mug. He would lightly chuckle teary eyed. Raph would give him the warmest bestest most big brother hug he can give Leo. “Let’s go we can’t leave the mad dogs watching pops commercials for too long!” They both head out feeling relieved. When they join the fam Donnie let’s a sigh of relief. Mikey has a bright smile. “Told y’all Doctor feelings is never wrong. Nothing can heal unless we disinfect the area ain’t that right doctor.” Mikey winks a Leo. April laughs hyping Mikey up. He shakes his head ready to have a movie marathon with the fam.

Donnie has fs Raph proofed everything that’s been destroyed. Of course he could do it all in one go scan what’s most likely too fragile and Raph proof it but BORE YAWN!!! Wheres the fun in that. When something does get broken usually by Raph hence the name Donnie makes sure it only happens once. He makes bets with the rest on what breaks next. Any on on purpose breaks means zero claim to the pot. They take their gambling very serious and have no idea how April keeps wining.

Leo gaslights and starts fights for the fun of it or causes fights for fun. He makes remakes like “me personally I wouldn’t take that” or “daaang bro you gonna let that one slide!” Just egging both sides.

Splinter tried his hardest to get his sons to call him master splinter or sensei at least during their training but clearly he didn’t win that war and now he knows when they get mad at him they call him splinter. He won’t say it out loud but he prefers it when his sons call him pops/dad/papa and finds it funny when they come up with new ones.

Leo and Donnie are nail biters. If Leo is a nail biter one hundred percent Donnie is too. Or vice versa. They compete to see who can go the longest without biting their nails, who bit less nails, and the loser who has shorter nails. Both started to get concerned for the other when their nails were so short there was a thin line of blood. I love the idea of how In sync they are without knowing. They’re both like I’m going to trick him by making it seem like a competition then he’ll have to stop! Nothing feels better to him then beating me what a great plan! It works for the most part. It started backwards at first with them biting even shorter to lose and give the other a win. Then one of them gloats too hard it finally flames the fire of competing. Of course there’s good weeks and bad weeks.

Sooo we all agree Leo is the type to make a big deal out of small cuts he’d ask nay he’d dramatically plead for a pretty blue bandaid from his brother Donnie. “Donnie it’s so dark I think I’m not going to make write my final Will please” when he trips. “Raph I can see the light gram gram what are you doing at the other side of the river” when it’s a scratch. But when it’s a serious injury “Tis but a flesh wound” he’ll take care of it himself pssh no need to worry. Your just being dramatic omg and multiple eye rolls. He still can’t understand how his brothers know is a serious injury or when it’s a bad one. Leo doesn’t realize he uses his brothers colors with bandaids.

Leo at first felt some resentment just the tiniest bit and even when he denied that resentment he still felt it. It was resentment towards Mikey his little brother, the tiniest turtle out of the 4. He loves his brother, he loves all his brothers of course he does…but why does MIKEY get a softer treatment from their one parent, why does Mikey get to be irresponsible because he’s younger. Why does Mikey get all the attention from their dad when here’s there too. Then one day when Mikey starts to really get into art he goes to Leo right away for his opinion on his first pieces. Leo feels that tangle in his feelings unravel. Then it happens again when Mikey starts to cook his first taste tester/judge was Leo and it happens again when he starts something new. Over and over Leo would be the first person to approve and praise his creations. Of course what kind of big brother could Leo call himself if he didn’t still get annoyed of Mikey from time to time. He gets it now tho. That tangle unraveled the moment he saw the enjoyment of watching Mikey grow. He felt pride in being the first one Mikey went to before showing off to the rest of the family. Leo likes to joke how he does have a favorite brother and won’t tell. But no matter how much thought, time, and effort he puts into answering that question it’s always the same answer they all are. Raph is his big brother their overprotective gentle boss man plus he practically carries them of course he’s his favorite. Donnie well Donnie is his twin of course he’s his favorite, and Mikey oh sweet sweet Angelo watching him grow *clutching pearls* becoming so strong with his naive trustworthy heart of course he’s his favorite. So yeah he does have a favorite. . .it’s April.

[bulbabutt]

I'll be honest the worst part of the love triangle in 12 to me (or at least the worst part of the fan reaction to the love triangle in 12) is the people who act like it's somehow Rob Paulsen and/or Mae Whitman and/or Josh Peck's fault that it's like that. I mean, putting aside the fact that blaming the VAs instead of the writers is not cool (and also the fact that Paulsen and Whitman are ridonkers talented as VAs-Paulsen has too many to name and Whitman just needs the two-hit combo of Katara into Amity Blight, Peck I have less to say as because I only really know him from Drake and Josh and 12 itself but he seems alright), they're not the only parts of their characters! Donnie and Casey get plenty of stuff to do outside of that, and while April definitely gets the short end of the stick there I can at least think of a few solid bits here and there. 12 has problems but it's really annoying when Rise ultrafans act like 12 is some blight on the franchise (we have Next Mutation for that thanks). (AND I LIKE RISE I STRESS)

ok first of all people do WHAT lmao thats actually insane, it doesnt even matter if the actors are talented or not, its very bad behaviour to be blaming actors for anything lmao

lemme also say its not even always the writers faults either, cuz something about 12s writing issues i didnt give credit to was nickelodeon or playmates for how they clearly are behind the scenes saying "do this, do that". cuz all tmnt shows are shows made to sell toys and a lot of the time things that happen is also cuz some studio exec is coming in being like "hey! we need more _ cuz kids like _!"

but like if i can be absolutely honest when i say this and this is not even directed at you so like no offence to you or anyone who's got something to say about 12 or rise or whatever this is just like reminding me of the weird inter-iteration behaviour ive seen recently (like i browse tmnt crossover stuff cuz... obvs i wanna see crossover stuff, but lately i keep seeing nastiness)

but i have seen 12 ultra fans, i have seen rise ultra fans, i have recently seen just how weird and over the top toxic certain people who prefer either can be when discussing their non-favorite show and i just. can i just say. all of you guys. just... just stop interacting w the other people's media? if you dont like a rise fic, dont read it, if you dont like a 12 fic dont read it. if you dont like the characterization? the story? you think somethings ooc? like. its okay. its not for you, just let it be. people arent bad for writing it that way, its theirs. make your own art, interact w peoples art you do like!

idk maybe im just too old for this but ive seen people on either side of that whole...............situation. put their entire faces into videos like ripping the shit out of people and naming and linking the art theyre talking about and it seems really mean.

anyway all this to say please dont talk to me about whatever drama has happened between iterations (its always those two) like... the issue is very much just gonna be a generational divide. thats all it is. 12 came out a time when the jokes were a bit meaner, and rise came out in a post steven universe era. both of these shows are good they both are just different genres. people from either side of it have different tastes because of the specific thing they like in tmnt. if rise fans think the 12 turtles come off toxic and you dont thats their business, dont interact w them. if 12 fans dont like how different rise is leave them to it.

specifically please leave me out of it, and just dont be mean to each other. putting someone on blast for their art or their perspective just makes you look like the asshole.

also i unironically enjoyed the next mutation im sorry, im cringe but you can take bonesteel and hot vampire lady and mikeys pirate radio and BEST SPLINTER show from my cold dead hands AHJKSDH

[chthonicgodling]

(April’s)Huevember - Day 22!

featuring: Cinthy & Krokos

[in which I’ve made my very own #Huevember wheel this year (that you can use too! Pls tag me I’d LOVE to see!) - unabridged version continues, including a wide array of Elysium’verse characters across the rainbow!]

PURPLE DAYS BEGIN!! my official ™ fave of the month is still coming up but literally all the rest of these pics from now til the End end are my faves honestly I. love every one of these. starting today with some GHOSTS 👻 - Flower Shades Hyacinthos “Cinthy” & Krokos! ok the lore info on this post got ridiculous I’m so sorry — for once I’m actually gonna stick it behind a cut to spare u all from this essay lmfao??? AUGHH

I’ve given my whole Flower Shade spiel twice prior (most recently on the 8th for Karpos & Kalamos’ pic) so I will spare you all lmao - Cinthy’s untimely demise turned him into. well. yknow. Hyacinth. (Actually, *annoying mythological facts voice* it’s larkspur but honestly that’s stupid so—) and Krokos’ own death turned him into…. crocus. duh duh. Hello. duh.

Krokos and Cinthy died, separately, in the EXACT SAME STUPID WAY, and also their personalities are SOOO polar opposites from each other so drawing them next to each other is exceptionally hilarious to me-

Krokos was dating Olympian Hermes when he died in a FREAK DISCUS ACCIDENT rip - death by frisbee🤦🏻‍♀️ and tho they’ve long since “”formally”” broken up they did part ways on good terms and consider themselves friends…………. With benefits in current days fgkgkg

and then, Cinthy!!💞💞💞💞 Cinthy is NOT as much of a background character like the other Flowers, since in current canon he’s actually engaged to Gany, with whom he’d been secretly…💞close friends💞 with during his own mortal life, back when Gany was tethered to Zeus and Cinthy himself was dating the Olympian Apollo. Cinthy’s own death via discus accident was… a little more complicated, as it came at the hands of another god and…. Maybe even more than that one god - if anyone had known about his relationship with Gany at the time….. hm. Well.

….meanwhile Elysiumverse!Apollo is an actual villain in here, like. in my list of Elysium Villains with Thanatos and OrigiMel. by the time Gany fell into the Underworld, Apollo and Cinthy had already kindave grown apart BUT Apollo’s absolute rage (and following related actions) over discovering that the Elysium palace was “keeping” Gany, and that Cinthy was choosing him over him, was the final “mask off” trigger to expose ✨his real horrible self✨ and needless to say that breakup was. uhhhhhh. rough.

BUT that was years ago and now they all live happily ever with Cinthy reunited with the ACTUAL love of his life snotty Olympians be damned

despite being a natural brunette (maybe) when he was alive Cinthy was constantly dying his hair different colors every week and when Meli & Loki turned Elysium’s shades solid (long story) years ago, he jumped right back to it; although his go to default is usually like, blurple-pink. When Krokos turned solid the first thing he did was make Cinthy dye his hair bright purple! Also fun fact Cinthy was the person who first dyed Chal’s hair red :-)

idk why tf I felt the need to do all this on this post but. jazz hands here you go. STAY TUNED TOMORROW ETC- all the hUevemebr posts are in this tag!!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

OMG stay safe and I hope ur power comes back soon!!!

No fr opposite extremes of the spectrum LOL and LMAOAOAOA MADDIE??? I SEE HER CONTENT ALL THE TIME HAHAHAHA she’s so hilarious she’s in the bllk TRENCHES (her idea of going to make bllk themed yogurt was kinda funny and interesting tho ngl) I saw her “hear me out” video and I unfortunately lost my ears so um! I almost lost it laughing though when she got baited by a fake panel and was telling op to sleep with one eye open LMAOOO

NOO IMAGINE SHIDOU’S STRAIGHT IN THE WOMB??? Would be filing for harassment because HUH like fr between bros it’s just a weird little bro lingo communication thing but um

The canon content of some of them (Otoya and imamura) getting so desperate they go to Chigiri has me wilding like???? Bro get a grip SHSGSHS also the fact that they actually put jokes like that in canon

It’s so funny to me though none of my absolute favs are on the Ubers team but I like their team dynamic the most??? Like they’re fr the only team with like..communication skills and functioning member interrelations I love the Ubers family

Also WHAT IS IT REALLY?? I mean I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because Barou is ripped (I always find it funny that him and Kunigami who are both from Akita are like the two buffest dudes minus Tokimitsu maybe but he’s missing the aura LMAO) and Isagi is typically described as mediocre normal so

Oh yeah…the “I can fix them mentality”…lol…no I get what you mean that they make a womanizer version of them and revert them back to original and that somehow works better to them because their non-womanizing self actually exists but TOJI OF BLLK STOP THATS SO REAL it’s over when we get the cops and robbers and rock hard lines (speaking of I wonder how much of Shidou’s lines they’ll censor…? Because I’m of my friends there’s a couple that aren’t as in tune to the anime/shounen dude language and sometimes questionable phrases so im lowk stressing but er)

LMAO yeah it’s so confusing I lowk just go by the normal like…year convention? Like if you’re born in April you’re older than someone born in November if it’s said you’re in the same school year but I have no idea if that’s right…

Babysitter Karasu so true the only one he can talk to normally is Loki but even Loki wouldn’t intervene much I feel LMAO Karasu carrying PXG in more than one setting (Shidou is def the irresponsible older brother who probs puts you in a headlock to ruffle your hair and hypes you up to do things regardless of how safe it is LMAO)

No literally how epinagi and the LN released like days after we discussed it like?? Maybe now’s the time to sneak in all of our tabieitaken ideas and manifest them into reality LMFAO it’s time for us to wait for the next LN announcement if Otoya and Karasu show up you KNOW it’s real

I lost my mind like rich boy Karasu with two dogs and a cheating dad??? Then he said sike and I fr felt like Hiori in that moment like wdym you made that up??? I feel like that gives us a bit of crumbs (like one tiny morsel) of more of the Karasu respect agenda like he was on his (hypothetical) mom’s side on that one!! But anyways I could see Karasu being a rich boy…

HAHAH SAME WAVELENGTH FRR o7

He def thinks birds of prey are the coolest fs…just a teenage boy with a bird nerd side

-Karasu anon

THANK YOUUU we are at my cousin’s house atm so luckily chilling 🤞🏻 still no power at my place unfortunately 😭💔 but hopefully tomorrow!!

YES MADDIE omg i see her all of the time she’s so funny like truly the face of the bllk fandom 😭 omg no because lowkey i think lorenzo is cute in like the way a rlly hideous dog is?? he’s not attractive to me at all but i feel such strong pity for him and his ugliness that i find him oddly adorable 😦 idk he seems relaxed too his dynamic w barou is hilarious…but i agree i fear i cannot hear her out this time

no because the unholy trinity of shidou + aiku + karasu and the bullshit they say would lowkey be my final straw DKSKSJ “here comes the dopamine” + “i’m going to put you on a leash” + “it’s so lewd how you got into that tight opening” all in one match…i’m joining chigiri in the witness protection program atp HAHAHA

the ubers are the only team that feels like a team HAHA like mc is a soap opera atm, bm is straight up war constantly, pxg is a bunch of dumbasses + karasu, and barcha is bachira otoya and some randoms 😭 and YES it’s almost the same length it’s crazy!! part of it too is barou is super tall and isagi is short for bllk (still way taller than me though 💔) and probably also the angle it was drawn at might’ve exacerbated it a bit but either way 👹 barou is the epitome of scary dog privileges bro you could go anywhere if you had that man w you 😩 also kunigami HELP that one panel of him squatting in the gym during bm why are his legs ENORMOUS?? he takes jacked to another level and it doesn’t help that he’s generally shown next to chigiri who’s on the slender side for bllk

exactly!! like it doesn’t feel as odd to show isagi or nagi being sweet and eventually treating a girl well even if you originally make them mean whereas otoya or aiku have 0 evidence proving that they are even fixable in the first place so people just steer clear HAHAH (not me though…me and otoya are locked in 🥱 going to write him in ways the world has never seen before). BUT NO AIKU IS SO TOJI CODED IDEK WHYYYY their voices are lowkey similar too…honestly i hope they don’t censor shidou because him being a freak is so integral to his character LMAOAOA although i’m only saying that because i know p much no one who watches bllk irl 😔💔

karasu and shidou being older than loki is so funny to me 😭 they’re better than me fr…if some french guy a year younger than me came and started bossing me around i’d throw a fit!! PLS karasu is the kind of person who’d yell at you if you do smth remotely dangerous whereas shidou would tell you to do a flip while you’re at it 😟 but at least you will always have a fan in shidou LMAOO no matter what he will be your biggest supporter (for better or worse)

THE NEXT LIGHT NOVELS BETTER BE SHIDOU KARASU AND OTOYA i need to know what kind of weird ass past shidou had that made him turn out like this…although i feel like they might not just because atm we know next to nothing abt him and maybe they want to keep him mysterious and have his backstory be like a big reveal?? if not shidou i’d be happy w like nanase or smth (perhaps aiku??).

NO LITERALLY i was like wait he’s rich…and has dogs…and supports his mother…MARRIAGE 🤩🤩🤩🤩 and then i was so betrayed when he revealed he was fucking around for no reason 😒 okay lowkey though i know that man has to be somewhat well off because why else would he be so into index funds and stock management and whatnot like that is the most upper class bullshit i can think of HAHAHAH him canonically being a finance bro is so heartbreaking 😰 karasu pls you’re better than this 🤧 jkjk he’s just trying to ensure he keeps the bag secured no matter what i have to respect it

okay wait this isn’t related to anything you said but i was reminded of this panel while scrolling tik tok and felt like i had to share

nothing to elaborate on here LMAOO just like…he’s so majestic fr (although why is he standing like that LMAOAOA)

[heartfelttry]

on a tiktok comment, i mentioned having taken notes of thepandaredd's OCs and whatnot to be able to name-drop them once i am un-sickly enough to commit to writing DC fanfics (and i mentioned them in a comment to begin with because either thepandredd has two OCs named Ted now, or we got a prequel or reboot of their original Ted OC) and it got over 1 Like which is all the attention i needed to post my notes lmao

(it just took me a while to post bc i got Too Into My Own Head about having maybe missed something, so i re-watched all thepandaredd's not-Comic-Book-Club videos (tho i do enjoy those, you should watch them) on his yt channel before posting this)

real quick, please note, i did leave all my headcanons in here because i am emotionally attached to them, but i did make said hcs labeled in blue and i made them tiny so you can know where to avoid them if you so wish. that was my big thing i want anybody reading to be aware of. onto the smaller notes of interest (no pun intended, i just prefer small-text when i babble and over-explain), these notes are messy chaotically organized. bc my brain is messy chaotically organized. (also: i have dyslexia and chronic memory loss, so please do forgive the accidental missspellings and the not-accidental "isn't this too much detail?" sections) this is all copy-pasted from my notes with some additions made for your guys' convenience (i put in links where i remembered links go (im sure i missed some citations i could have linked and forgot to even cite links in many other places, ugh, i do not want to cite everything, i gave up, i know my notes have evidence even if i didn't link the video every time, you fact-check, i'm tired lmao rip), i colored the text sometimes, i clarified things i theorize sometimes so things make sense to non-mind-readers, the works. i always speak to a hypothetical audience in my notes tho, so, shockingly, that wasn't actually added for you. idk why i p much always do that; i just accept it. but you're welcome). feel free to copy and edit this down further for your own use to update. i know i plan to update my private notes when new info/OCs come out, but idk if i will update this public post, ever, but hey! maybe!

also, above all: please follow thepandaredd (he/they) on your favorite social media of choice. support the guy on patreon. buy merch. all the good stuff. here's the linktree to all the important things related to thepandaredd's socials and whatnot. enjoy their creations, he's really fun lol

● was posted: 30 March 2024 ● was last updated: 2 April 2024 (reason for update: i realized i forgot the Reboot Hand, updated on March 31st + forgot to include a bullet-point on Bill being anti-smoking, and forgot to say who set Bill on fire, updated on April 1st + realized i got confused and my math on Bill's age was wrong as i originally said he was a minimum of "16+ years older than the 10 year-old Robin he met" when he is actually a minimum of 6+ years older to therefore make him a minimum of 16 years old to Robin's 10, updated on April 2nd)

↳ here is my "after posting this" thoughts if you are curious. it consists entirely of a friend of mine encouraging me to publish some texts i sent her answering "what was my favorite thing i learned?" and "do i have any questions?" (from 30 March 2024 original post) ↳ ill maybe make another one of these "after posting this thoughts" if i ever do a BIG update on this? who knows lol

also, please note i have yet to see any thepandaredd twitch streams (i just know my brain and my brain likes edited content, esp if it is short or short-ish bc my brain loves that shit. i like Dimension 20 more than Critical Role, i like ConnorDawg's gaming youtube channel more than CDawgVA's twitch or his VOD youtube channel that said edited gaming videos all come from, and i like audio dramatizations of books way more than audiobooks. it is just how i unfortunately or fortunately work), so idk if any additional info has been said there. i have heard good things about thepandaredd's Stream Dump youtube channel tho, so do go to that aforementioned linktree and check it out! if i ever am able to get my brain to accept twitch VODs, and not just zone out and disassociate when i should be engaged, i will delete this section (hence why it is under the Read More) and update accordingly ✌️

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★★★ AGENT OF THE REBOOT (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel? or maybe the TVA counts, idk, i havent seen "Loki")

● has one confirmed worker of an unknown name and unknown pronouns (hc/theories on pronouns: However, since this character's form can change, one can assume this agent character takes on the pronouns of the original form (eg. the character did take on Bill The Henchman's form and Bill uses he/him pronouns, so assumedly this agent character would accept he/him pronouns while using Bill's form. it feels respectful towards the original form. however, this is an argument one can use as a hc and is not confirmed. i hate JKR, but remember the scene where everyone used polyjuice potions to pretend to be Harry Potter in the last book and they all kept their original pronouns despite having Harry's face? like, as an explicit example, Hermione still had she/her pronouns while fully transformed into having Harry's body? weirdly pro-trans scene for a terf to have written. but yeah, same could go for this character. so an argument can be made both ways); but if i ever write about this agent, until proven otherwise: my hc and what i plan to do is either they/them or a neo-pronoun for this character due to a mixture of headcanon (kinda cool for an organization to be totally nameless, ageless, faceless, and genderless (maybe even of a omniuniversal hive-mind? idk, we don't know anything), so i assume this is that) and a lack of clarity/details on this specific agent character. but there you go, there are all the options one can assume for this agent character's pronouns. adjacently, personally, if i do a neo-pronoun for this character when writing: i think i'll either do the "the royal we", a classic; or i will do the definite article, as recently popularized in "Doctor Who", but idk, we'll see, might just do "they/them" for simplicity sake. or maybe we'll get pronouns if the Agent comes back, who fucking knows). (hc name of character: remember that Iron Man MCU joke about "What? Phil? No, his first name is Agent" about Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD? yeah, if i write for this character, i will be assuming an acceptable name is "Agent, just Agent")

● Introduced as "I'm an agent of The Reboot". unsure if organization is "The Reboot" or "Agents Of The Reboot" or if its called something else and he just did layman terms for it so that it was "agent of the reboot"? i have no idea. i personally most prefer Agents Of The Reboot, or layman terms if i or someone else can come up with a cooler name. (if this was Marvel and i had seen "Loki", there would probably be a Time Variance Authority (TVA) joke to make here). could also be just a one-man thing where Agent Of The Reboot is the character's name/species, and they are the only fucking one?? idk, we aren't supposed to know shit about this character, they are supposed to be a mystery, it makes sense that nothing is confirmed and that nothing makes sense, idk what to tell you

↳ ThePandaRedd normally introduces character name differentiations via a text box saying who is playing who, but this guy's just said " ? ". what a fun meta detail lol

● Helps characters reboot and "get to where you're supposed to go"

● This agent/The organization is responsible for "Crisis on Infinite Earth", "New 52" reboots

● Reboot ability is activated via snapping. very Thanos of the character, but sure, why not, it's a cool fucking ability

● Copies other person's face because "it's what your brain will recognize the easiest". Visually, to readers, it looks like a pixelated version of it (i assume that aspect is for viewer's clarity of who is speaking when. kind of like how "Avatar: The Last Airbender"'s air is supposed to be invisible (y'know, as air generally is) to the characters within the show, but is drawn so viewers can see what Aang is bending and how. but. like. for character design)

↳ Was introduced helping Bill The Henchman, more about that in Bill's section. Said Bill's storyline "got too convoluted" and instead of fixing the storyline, Bill was deemed for a reboot-- well, the whole universe was taken to start over, actually. 

↳ speaks with a slight computer-y voice-changer effect. makes the character kind of sound like they come from an 8-bit video-game.

↳ my hc: is that this kind of works as a mixture of "The Digital Circus" and @/cholv0q (of tiktok)'s Alastor of "Hazbin Hotel" re-design (their linktree is over here btw). where the character kind of just comes from this early-internet days (which is when there was more widespread bingeing and cross-references of comics, due to them being uploaded digitally and fan-forums citing themselves and whatnot (which, fun fact: apparently, January 1, 1983 is considered the Internet's official birthday. so that is the fucking earliest we could be talking about) (i know also the idea of comics in academia, like getting analyzed in essays, became more popularized around this time. but i don't know how much of that is causation and correlation. it's still considered new and novel for a campus to include graphic novels in a required reading list, though it is on the edge of being "uncommon but welcome" nowadays. English classes entirely focused on graphic novels, albums, and comics are still a v new-ish thing. but im getting off-topic, that was just my experience in going to college in the ~2020s anyway). and ergo, comic companies had to care a bit more about continuity and it was less of a "well, it depends on the writer if they care about that" thing. hence, the kind of "the demand formed and so the need was filled" creation of this character/organization? (not as in "ah, i see a job oppurtunity here" type of "demand formed, and we can fulfill that need". but as in "the universe is ever-expanding and ever-repairing itself" kind of mysterious cosmic horror. kind of like Marvel Comics' The Watchers but 50× the eldritch horror. like whatever force in the universe made Earth's deep sea creatures and DC-Comics-version-of-Mars' white martians? that force played some early desktop computer horror games and said "let me put this on my pinterest board as inspo for this new project i'm working on" type of shit. nobody knows where this fucker/these fuckers came from, they just didn't exist before and suddenly they came into being, fully formed. very unsettling) and due to the tech of the time, the voice filter and pixelation of the face make even more sense. how does "The Digital Circus" apply to this? just the sense of "omnipotence in an old fucking desktop computer technology" really. as for the @/cholv0q's Alastor of "Hazbin Hotel" re-design bit, i just really fucking like that Chol included this bit about "changing[ this character's vocal abilities to come from] an old radio[ on his chest,] where his real voice comes from, instead of his mouth or throat". i really fucking like that idea so im yoinking it and switching the tech away from a 1920s radio. and i think that would be fucking sick to apply to this Agent character considering their shapeshifting, pixelation, implied vocal changes (i assume the voice changes with the form and its not That Voice with every form, just That Voice Filter ontop of the everchanging voice), voice filter, and general uncanny-valley-ness. just imagine a pixelated version of your face talking to you about rebooting your life while never opening their mouth, as the uncanny low-rez doppleganger version of you talks to you through a fucking 80s PC speaker lodged in its throat/clavicle area, sounding like the earliest versions of a voice-acted horror video-game. i love it. i think it maintains the mystery about "how the fuck, whomst the fuck" while upping the creepy to be even creepier, to me at least. plus, then there's the whole "snaps to reboot" ability, yes, but now we got the "Video-Game Boss with a Second Phase" built in right there because if snapping does all that reality-shattering/-bending nonsense then what the fuck do you think happens if the Agent does finally open their fucking mouth???

● also, this symbol flashed up while Bill the Henchman fell post-snap. i normally wouldn't think to screenshot such a thing, but i thought it was odd upon my most recent re-watch (bc anxiety about posting this publicly and maybe missing something, you get it) that it kind of has a hand-shape inside it? which a hand symbol + the act of snapping with one's hand correlates in an interesting way, not to mention the timing of this appearing IMMEDIATELY after the snap. but maybe it is a comic reference i am missing? maybe it is related to the Agents of the Reboot getting their own merch of some kind someday? do they get a logo, does that make sense for them to have, are they a team or...? idk. but i added it here just in case it is pertinent in some way (excuse the low resolution)

● the fucker (/tone indicator: affectionate) is within this compilation video, i will only link this video one more time in Bill The Henchman's section (below, under the "People" section)

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★★★ RED HOOD'S ANTI-HERO ACCIDENT ASSURANCES (DC only. created in a comment within thepandaredd's tiktok that then thepandaredd replied to and acted out. the comment was by @/timelordpoet1273 on tiktok. i probably didn't need to write this one but it made me laugh so im including it)

● timelordpoet273's comment: "Red Hood just starts his own insurance company. He names it Anti-Hero Accident Assurances. Nobody answers the phone, and the voiceail is swear words."

● thepandaredd, uh, i mean, Jason Todd's said voicemail (yes, i made a fucking transcription lmao pls let me live, i have chronic memory loss and my notes are my lifeblood): [voice 1] "Hello. And thank you for calling Red Hood's Anti-Hero Accident Assurances. If you are calling in regard to one of our anti-heroes, please stay on the line for a recorded message." [voice 2] "Now I know for a goddamn fact that you did not just call an insurance agency to try to file a claim against a bunch of anti-heroes that kill people for a living. Do you have any idea how much ammo fucking costs? We are out here spending our entire life savings to buy you the briefest little moments of the only life you will ever live, and you have the audacity to try and file a claim against us? What the fuck did we do, shoot out your knee-cap? Fuck you. Whatever we did is going to save you down the fucking line. Goddamn— Hang up your fucking phone."

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★★★ SUPERB PROWERS: SUPERHERO INSURANCE (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. Marvel equivalent is "Damage Control")

↳ colloquially, it's apparently called "Superb Prowers Insurance Agency"

● Motto: "Superb Prowers insurance. If it's not a bird and it's not a plane, give us a ring and we'll do our thang." (note: Todd Andrews hates saying this at the beginning of every phone-call)

● Covers civillian damages done by superheroes + super-battles. "Our team mostly covers superhero and super-powered related accidents and injuries?"

↳ Does not cover supervillains (from damages done to said villains by superheroes) (however: Bill the Henchman was covered by them for the loss of his bones)

● is up the street from Vitriol Vindications (which is insurance for supervillains and the damages done to them by superheroes)

● confirmed workers: Todd Andrews (is one of their representatives, as in "I represent Superb Prowers Agency". more on Todd Andrews is below, has their own section with the other OCs in "People"); maybe/maybe not to be confused with Todd the Goonion Rep (section is below, under the "People" heading. where he works, The First Universal Henchmen's Union, is below, under the "Associations" heading) and/or maybe/maybe not confused with the Todd that is Bill's friend from high school (below, under "People") bc idk, guess they could all be the same guy? idk, i would assume no but maybe

↳ Todd Andrews' outfit is in their own character section, which could arguably be following the company's dress-code for its workers or be their employees' uniform or something

↳ in the first video Todd Andrews used a cell phone and paced around. second video on, Todd Andrews is seated, assumedly at a computer, and is wearing a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. assumedly, the later is standard for all workers, the former was just Todd Andrews briefly based on materials thepandaredd had available for said skit, i mean an eccentric habit or done for the purpose of the documentary-interview style that only happened in the first video

● only one villain has called the agency, and it was Killer Shark, which that is both his civillian- and villain-name. so idk if the workers call villains by their civillian or villain identity when talking directly to them (i also assume "Cassandra", who is a few bullet-points down but still within the Superb Prowers section, is not Todd Andrews calling Cassandra Cain (or any other DC character phoentically named "Cassandra/Kassandra/etc") by her first name, esp since thepandaredd likes to play Cassandra as nonverbal in skits and Todd Andrews was on the phone. but there is also ways to use live-captions and text-to-speech, along with Deaf/HOH and nonverbal web-cam/chat services to have a hotline person call for you and whatnot, but i assume that's not what is happening here, i digress. i assume it's just a random Cassandra, and workers don't call heroes by their civillian forename)

● Insurances:

↳ ● Flashpoint Insurance: for damages in alternate timelines

↳ ● offers 2 different Gotham plans. (1) The Batman Plan; the Batman Plan has a Reckless Robin extension (only covers current Robin/s. does not cover former Robins). (2) The Bat-Family Plan (assumedly covers former Robins)

↳ ● Crisis Coverage: is a little different from Flashpoint coverage (is not explained how lol)

↳ ● Green Arrow coverage

↳ ● Bird Insurance: coverage for bird-themed superheroes, not actual birds 

↳ ● Multi-Verse Insurance: "No, sir, if a alternate universe version of you has multi-verse insurance, it does mean you are also insured."

↳ ● has Home Insurance and Buisness Insurance ("Uh, let me check. Hey, boss, are lairs covered under home insurance or buisness insurance?")

↳ not a type of insurance but important questions that have implications about the place's insurance stuff: "Okay, well, answer me this: did Superman punch your wall or did he get flown through your wall as the result of a punch?" (later) "No, you see, you're covered for him punching your wall. Not being punched through your wall." ■ "How many times do I need to tell you, Cassandra? We stopped covering sky beams last year after the Zod attack." ■ "Did you get punched by a Robin or by a former Robin? 'Cause you have the Batman plan, and that only covers one of those." ■ "What do you mean the city is just gone? What does that mea--?!" ■ "Yes, but do you have proof your house was still there before Coast City was destroyed?" ■ "Can you confirm that it was a bat-arang that hit you?" ■ "Okay, but which Superboy? Yes, it's important!" ■ "Okay, but did you get the license plate number? I don't care if it was the Bat-Mobile! Yes or no?" ■ "Okay, but which color arrow were you attacked by? No, it is important, you only have Green Arrow coverage." ■ "M'am-- M'am! The premiums are lower in Iowa than Metropolis because it's Metropolis."

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★★★ VITRIOL VINDICATIONS: VILLAINS INSURANCE (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. Marvel equivalent is "Damage Control")

● "Vitriol Vindications: verifying villainous violations, how may I help you?"

● is insurance coverage for supervillain (for damages done to them by superheroes) (does not cover Goon Union violation claims)

● is down the street from Superb Prowers: Superhero Insurance

● knows supervillains' civillian identities

● hotline workers can curse on the phone (eg. "I'm sorry, sir, but if you didn't want food poisoning then why in the hell did you eat a Joker Fish in the first place?")

↳ also, they can smoke while on the job

● confirmed workers: unnamed character (pronouns unknown). spoke with a gravely voice, assumedly from smoking as he smokes at work (what i assume is a cigarette anyway? or a cigar? it could also be a joint, i got no clue), and also an accent (im not good at identifying accents, idk from where exactly, it sounded vaguely the East Coast variety of American). appearance of said character includes a brown jacket with sherpa lining over a black shirt, had gray pants on. (my hc for name: Sol Abagnale. the Abagnale part is in reference after "Frank Abagnale Jr", a real life white-collar criminal who has a famous film as well as semi-famous musical under the title "Catch Me If You Can" (he also kind of inspired the show "White-Collar" in the sense of how the irl Abagnale became an expert consolutant helping catch other criminals. he has recorded lectures and everything, his analytical work is insane) where one of his most routine crimes was conning banks and insurance and whatnot, and also the IRS caught his dad (Frank Senior) who Junior learned a lot of his crimes from. feels fitting. the first name has to do with me kind of fudging the name "Saul" into a more unisex phonetic variant, "Sol" (which, according to BehindTheName.com, the Jewish version of "Sol" is masculine and the Spanish+Portugeese version of "Sol" is feminine, so "Sol" itself is unisex enough for me. though, technically Saul and Sol are not related, they do SOUND very similar which is the sticking point for me), in tribute to Saul Goodman of "Breaking Bad"/"Better Call Saul" fame who did a lot of insurance fraud as a lawyer. so my pitch is combining the name of two white-collar criminals, yeah, what can i say, i love intertextual references)

↳ appearance aspects about the worker mentioned above could also be notable here on whether or not if it is related to the company's dress-code, their employees' uniform, and whatnot

↳ workers wear a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. they also have a swivel chair with arms.

● Insurances:

↳ ● Life insurance

↳ ● Anti-Life insurance: "M'am, I'm sorry but death by Parademons is nor covered under the Anti-Life insurance plan." (which? i assume?? is a censored version of a Death insurance plan? idk anything about insurance vocabularly terms)

↳ ● Discrimination in the workplace? (im surprised that isn't Goonion paperwork, idk) ("Well, if you didn't want discrimination in the workplace, then you shouldn't have been a goon for Gorilla Grodd.")

↳ ● the Two-Face Policy ("While I cannot exactly stop you from getting the Two-Face policy, I will warn you that coverage there is pretty 50/50." → "I'm sorry, I had to, it was right there.")

↳ not a type of insurance but important questions that have implications about the place's insurance stuff: "No, Mr. Cobblepot, you cannot put life insurance policy on your penguins if you are the ones who strapped bombs to them." ■ "What do you mean your contract is in the form of a riddle?"

↳ also not a type of insurance per sey but idk what this is but i feel like i should note it down: "Oh, no, you'd be surprised: the Joker actually offers an incredible dental plan."

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★★★ EVIL LLP: VILLIANOUS ACCOUNTING (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel, idk if such exists)

● "Evil LLP: villainous accounting, how may I help you?"

● calls supervillains both by their civillian names and their villain names, but WAY moreso calls them by their villain names

● fun fact: it is a fandom joke that the Joker does not mess with the IRS (thepandaredd theorizes it is because the Joker doesn't want to end up like Al Capone and get put in actual-"you can't plead insanity this time"-prison), so Joker would be diligent about tax season (and hate it) and contacting his accountant (and hate that too), neato

● people working the hotline can curse to the customers

● confirmed workers: unnamed character (pronouns unknown). said character's appearance includes having worn glasses as well as a maroon-purpleish button-up, long-sleeve and with gray pants. drinks out of a red, tall drinkwear (no lid, no straw, not a tumbler) which is an odd enough detail i thought i would mention it (maybe he works remote and it is their kitchenware? maybe the Evil LLP office just has that type of kitchenware? idk. i know its just thepandaredd's kitchenware and isn't meant to be scrutinized, but i am detail-oriented and have AuDHD, let me live). (hc name: Brooklyn Kennedy Collector. because i recenrly found out Collector is a real surname and that feels fitting for an accountant. also, i think "The Collector" is a kind of cool villain allias? maybe this accountant was a taxes-related villain before pivoting? idk, probably not, but what i do really like is the idea of experienced villains scaring newbies with boogeyman stories of "The Collector" and about not paying your taxes on time as a way of hazing them before their first appointment with this specific character from Evil LLP who is like "What? No? Turbotax is way scarier than me, the fuck". as for Brooklyn, it is unisex, literally means "broken land" which feels fitting for a neutral person many territorial villains go to, as in the literal "groundbreaking" ceremony. but also Brooklyn can lead to the nickname "Brookie" which i think would be funny for this character to be like "...Only my [insert loved one here. eg: signicant other, sibling, etc] can get away with calling me that" when villains inevitably make Brookie The Bookie jokes. and i usually don't add middle-names to my hc names bc i usually only do middle-names if the culture the character is from has a middle-name as part of its naming conventions. but i gave this hc name one because "Brooklyn Collector" does not sound quiet like a real person's name, to me. but if you told me i went to school with a "Brooklyn Kennedy Collector" then that sounds vaguely familar and id be like "Oh? Remind me who they are?" rather than "What? We did?" with disbelief in my tone. i did look up what the name Kennedy means tho, on my beloved BehindTheName search-engine, which means either "armored head" (cool!) or "mishappen head" (rude!) which i think encompasses the level of mixed sanity-and-insanity you have to have in order to be villain's accountant lol)

↳ appearance aspects about the worker mentioned above could also be notable in case it is related to the company's dress-code, their employees' uniform, and so on

↳ workers wears a headset with microphone attachment. not wireless. they also have a swivel chair with arms.

��� tax account comments and questions since i know next to nothing of tax info and will likely need this as reference if i ever include this company: "Joker, I need your tax returns yesterday. What the fuck do you mean you haven't filed them?" ■ "Black Manta, it says here you have an expense for the League of Villainous Chimney Sweepers, what the fuc--" ■ "So let me make sure I am understanding this correctly. You are going to hire a bunch of people to hide trophies all throughout the city? With what fucking money, Nigma?" ■ "Penny-Pincher, if you pay me again by mailing me a literal bag of fucking pennies, I will find you." ■ "Joker, I just got a call from the Goonion that you haven't been paying your workers? ...No, not killing them is not a form of legal tender!" ■ "Wait a minute, you buy all the penguins? Who is selling you that many penguins?! I thought you just found them!" ■ "Wait, Bizzaro, do you have the check or not? I don't understand!" ■ "Well, don't come crying to me when VOSCA gets on your ass. Yes, I said 'VOSCA': Villainous OSCA, keep up!" (i assume this was a continuation of the last line to the Joker, it feels implied, but idk) ■ "How do none of you understand how money works?!"

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★★★ THE FIRST UNIVERSAL HENCHMAN'S UNION (aka: THE GOONION, or sometimes THE GOON UNION) (DC only so far, created by thepandaredd. probably should have a Marvel equivalent or else also exist in Marvel, idk if henchman union exists there of if the Goonion is implied to also be there) (i have shockingly little info on this considering how often it is brought up. huh. NOTE TO SELF: to rewatch some of thepandaredd's youtube compilation videos to see if im missing anything)

● Their motto: "Facere Malum Stercore Tuto" which is Latin for "Do bad shit safely"

↳ according to thepandaredd's merch: "Established in 2000"? i feel like that is a joke or reference i am missing, which makes me unsure of how literally to take it. i would've assumed it was older. i mean. i guess it technically could have been? like, in the sense that these guys are labeled the "First Universal Goonion" which implies maybe some villains had their own union of goons (definitely not Joker considering his implied VOSCA violations, above, under Evil LLP's section, still within the "Associations" heading) before it became a overall branching DC thing? which, if so, i do not envy the fuckers who had to unionize the Joker or Lexcorp goons, they probably did some union-busting, esp pre-2000 if that as the year the Goonion became universal in that sense, jfc. (edit of note: i have found the Todd The Goon Rep skit within the 2021 July compilation video, i am definitely correct about Lexcorp union-busting at least ■ edit of note ×2: i aM FULLY CORRECT. 2024 March 1st (or the compilation due to come out after March is over, since it is still March as of editing this docket) has a skit with Bill The Henchman doing work-trips with long flights for the Joker. and the Joker says "Hahaha, [The Goonion] is not a real thing!" and "Just to remind you, if I see you peddling that Goonion garbage all over that Comic-con, I swear to god, I will come to your house and rip those femurs out myself". so the Joker has dismissively resentful anti-Goonion opinions to the point that would imply he would love to union-bust/ignore it.) (or maybe "universal" is a reference to "cross-fandoms/brands"? because there is a Cobra Command, "G.I. Joe" joke pre-Bill-reboot (look at Bill The Henchman's section below, under the "People" heading)? which their most famous and long-running comic form is with Marvel Comics (though they also had a run with DC Comics for two individual issues, as well as Devil's Due, IDW Publishing, Custom Comics, and more). but, as aforementioned: idk how the reboot plays into that, and also idk how seriously i should take that since it was a gag for a one-off skit. idk...) (edit: wait, i forgot Marvel Comics also has The Solomon Institute For The Criminally Insane (also, and more popularly, known as: The Taskmaster's Academy), which is a trade-school where Anthony Masters (Taskmaster) teaches henchmen how to hench and get them a type of goon-certification as per the nature of trade-school. which, fun fact, the students there are called "Taskmaster's Acolytes", and originally this school started as a front? but then Taskmater went "actually, I have found my passion" which is aw, so sweet, wish it wasn't about murder and crime. but yeah, i checked the wiki because i couldn't remember if we ever saw anyone's certificate and, apparently, graduating meant you were now cleared for super-villany. so while youre there, you're a henchman. when you graduate, you're a villain. wild. though still not a henchman union, like, irl, we have both "places to get a teaching certification" and also a "union for teachers". this is just adjacent additional item to Marvel's henchmen situation, not an equivalent to the Goonion if that makes sense. so. uh, there is also that in the middle of this "is the Goonion omniuniversal?" spiral i am in, and that is Marvel-only as far as i am aware. still worth mentioning tho)

● there's possibly member-training? assumedly it is villain specific training, as you get hired then trained bc we have seen that before (evidence: (1) a skit within this compilation where a newbie was given the run-down working to the Joker about the dress-code and "just take the fall" if Batman/Robin come (Bill the Henchman was in the background, off-screen), and (2) another skit from this compilation where Bill The Henchman himself was translating the meanings to the various Bat-fam symbols to a newbie goon and the Red Hood interrupted) but maybe it is Goonion overall-villain's-henchman training, i have no clue. but in a skit (from 2021 October) where a Mr. Freeze goon (actually is the Red Hood faking being a goon the whole time? or knocked said goon out and took their place? unclear) was being given shit by Bill for not wearing a mask during COVID (more on the Goonion's opinion on COVID face-masks below in a few bullet-points) came back with a Cobra helmet that said goon (The Red Hood) had trouble taking off, Bill grumbled "How the fuck did you make it out of training?" before helping (could be referring to Cobra training or Goonion? again, idk)

↳ which there are Bat-fam symbol code btw, idk if that skit's code was for all goons or just that specific villain's workplace: Yellow circle = Bruce Wayne (Batman) is in a good mood, will probably let you keep knee-caps □ No yellow circle, just a black bat = you're probably going to lose a couple of bones from Batman (idk if that is accurate post Bill the Henchman's reboot. anyway.) ■ Any variation of a red bat, spikey or otherwise = don't bother screaming, gunshots will be heard and that is enough warning. Likely is Kate Kane (Batwoman) who does not have a no-gun rule. could also be Jason Todd (Red Hood) who also doesn't have a no-gun rule. also, sometimes the Red Hood has a red V-mask, and sometimes Red Hood's design is closer to a red bird design on his chest. ■ Blue bird or blue V-symbol = Dick Grayson (Nightwing) will give you a couple bruises and send you home ■ Yellow bat = probably be worried. □ Red hair (Barbara Gordon (Batgirl → Oracle)), probably going to get the shit kicked out of you, same as No-yellow-circle Batman. □ No hair and no mouth (Cassandra Cain (Batgirl → Orphan)), same rules as red bat, you will probably dead. □ Blonde hair (Stephanie Brown (Robin, Batgirl → Spoiler)), "you can kill that one". which. that is so foul, Jay Morton, what the fuck lol □ "[Generally,] The yellow bat follows the R-rule." ■ The R-rule = "Every single Robin has their own fucking deal." □ If the R is blocky = probably not going to get beat up too bad, unless the kid is very mad, then you might get thrown off a roof. (definitely Jason Todd (Robin → The Red Hood), maybe also Dick Grayson (Robin → Nightwing). i know Jason Todd threw a domestic abuser off a roof and claimed the guy "fell". idk if Dick ever did similar) □ if it is a Spikey R with no yellow circle = Tim Drake (Robin → Red Robin) get hit in the face with a metal pole a few times. same for if it is a Yellow Bird, Tim Drake (Red Robin) will just be hitting you harder □ if the R has just one spike = you will likely die bc Damian Wayne (Robin) has a sword. Red Hood also has a sword, but only sometimes, it's mainly Damian's thing ■ idk why i would ever need this for a fic or something but now i fucking got it just in case, i guess. glad that hypotheical-me won't have to search for this. but yeah, idk if this system is Goonion stuff or a specific villain or just something Gotham-henchmen set up independently, but ill put it here for lack of anywhere better

↳ Bill the Henchman said to Todd His Friend From High School that "it's a really rough career to get into, just to let you know. There's a ton of onboarding processes, super-villains all have their own hiring things, there's the Goonion that you got to sign up for just by obligation."

● Goonion buildings don't allow alcohol in their facilities (Bill took a break in one such building, an unnamed co-worker interupted his break and asked for a drink, and Bill said there was no alcohol here for that reason. idk how the logistics work on if villain buildings (or safehouses) have to be Goonion, if goons prefer to take breaks in a seperate Goonion building in which case does the commute count as part of their break, is this just the overall building similar to a temp agency building in which case why was Bill taking a break in one...? cool detail in theory, very confusing in application to someone as ignorant in temp-work as me). this was mentioned in the Man-Bat skit within 2021 November's compilation

↳ very likely works often with VOSCA (Villainous OSCA, was brought up in Evil LLP's section above, still under the "Associations" heading) ■ also has some sort of connection to Superb Prowers (section is above, still within the "Associations" heading) since their insurance covered Bill's loss of bones

● Works all over the country, sending goons on assignment as needed and where and with what uniforms and etc

● Mask mandates (for COVID) - report to the Goonion for not wearing one. even villain henchmen (esp if their villain is an evil scientist) gotta stay safe ✌️ (Bill the Henchman is esp big on that they protect each other in this way)

● Goons in the union get breaks (as in, like 30 min break, lunch break, etc)

● i assume there is some protection for long-distance assignments? like, Bill the Henchman (Bill's section is below, under the "People" heading) got sent on a 16-hour flight by the Joker to give Bane a pie and another flight to go to Comic-Con. i assume there was financial compensation (both in the sense of a wage increase for the inconvenience, as i know a few jobs get that (many more... don't, but hey, maybe the Goonion got it) because the idea of "your shift hours" also becomes messier though that is more likely if Bill is paid hourly; as well as not paying for your own plane ticket or Comic-con ticket in these examples) and other such work-travel-trips protections (evidentally, there is no protection for how much buffer-time between said trips there has to be, as Bill was sent to Comic-con immediately after the pie but still)

● confirmed members: Bill the Professional Henchman (look at Bill's section in "People" for his co-workers. i don't know which ones are in the union and which ones are out of union. he is very big on the Goonion and helping each other and whatnot, carries merch and everything, biggest advocate, love that for him) ■ Alex (pronouns unknown. was mentioned in Todd the Goonion Rep's skit as a confirmed Goonion member, working as a Bane henchman who is a victim of wage-theft and not-up-to-code company housing via pit/sewers. assumedly is not the same Alex that Ted works with (most of the info on this Ted section's can be found below, under the "People" heading. bc, yeah, for one thing, that Alex lives in a duplex and not in the pits/sewers). Alex wears a beige-white sleeveless torn up t-shirt with a black beanie. will not be getting their own section as this is all i know about Alex)

↳ note: members have ID badges (example of Bill's is in Bill The Henchman's character section)

● confirmed workers: Todd The Goonion Rep (look at that Todd's section down below, under "People". also, technically Todd's job-title is much more formal title of "Traveling Representative for the First Universal Henchmen's Union" but Goonion Rep is snappier); maybe/maybe not confused with Todd Andrews (section is below, under the "People" heading. where he works, Superb Powers, is above, under the "Associations" heading) and/or maybe/maybe not confused with the Todd that is Bill's friend from high school (below, under "People") because i guess all these Todds could be the same guy, but i assume they are not, but you can feel free to hc them as such

↳ Todd The Goonion Rep's outfit is in their section, which is notable here because it could arguably be following the company's dress-code, be their employees' uniform, and so on. assumedly, since members have ID badges, so should Todd The Goonion Rep, thepandaredd just hasn't had the prop yet? fair lmao

↳ not "competition" but definitely confirmed people to not be on the workers' side: Alan (who is a Lexcorp union-buster (lawyer?) person in sunglasses, black suit with black button-up and gold tie. pronouns unknown) ■ "Matches" Malone(?) (which is a DC-canon undercover-alter-ego of Bruce Wayne (Batman) when he wants to try to submerge himself in the crime world)

● their workers can curse on-call (eg. "Oh, yeah, to be perfectly candid: I hear some fucking wild stories.")

● their workers (and also their members? i think?? p sure that is a yes) tend to call villains by their villain-name rather than their civilian-name

● not technically "Goonion info" but is important stuff that have implications about how the place is run (all said in the Todd The Goonion Rep skit): "Riddler, how many times do I need to fucking tell you that: if you are going to use goons as part of your traps, you need to have multiple signed consent forms by both them, a witness, and yourself beforehand?" ■ "As the traveling representative of the Goonion, my job is to travel around the country, talking to various goons and henchmen of both major and minor super-villains, just to make sure they are being both treated fairly and safely within the workplace. Which, honestly, they, uh, they very rarely are." ■ Todd: "So, Alex, it says here that you are a Bane henchmen. However, I can't seem to find any wages listed. So, what does the pay for that look like?" / Alex: "Of course I don't have wages listed, we don't get paid. ...Wait, are we supposed to be getting paid?" / Todd: "Mmhm. I see. I also can't seem to find an address." / Alex: "Oh, I was thinking you were going to ask about that. We all kind of live communally in a pit, or sometimes the sewer." / Todd: "Do you know if this pit is up to code?" / Alex: "I mean, yeah, it's a fine pit. It's probably up to code. We get cable and everything. But, uh, now that you mention it: we do shit in buckets and live in cells, so I'm not particularly sure." / Todd: "Oh, that is definitely a violation of some kind." ■ Todd: "Who the fuck steals both of someone's femurs?" / Bill the Professional Henchmen: "Oh, yeah, you think that's bad? I should tell you about where his kid cut my fucking hand off." / Todd: "His kid did what?!" ■ "Y'know, contrary to popular belief: crime pays very, very well. Like, shit, what do you think, like, 90% of Gotham's economy is? It's just that often times you need to enforce that the workers are actually going to see the fruits of that labor." ■ Todd: "(Groaningly sighs) Hello, Alan." / Alan: "Hello, Todd." / Todd: "Let me guess, you're here on behalf of Lexcorp again to try to break up the union." / Alan: "Now, Todd, you know that we at Lexcorp are not against unions. We simply believe they are detrimental to our bottom-lin— uh, I mean, our overall workforce. And, in fact, I am actually here to join your union. For I think that I too deserve equal safety and pay and rights." / Todd: "Buddy, I work with professional criminals on a daily basis. I can see that you are wearing a wire." / Alan: "Now, how could you say such a... silly... thing? Abort, abort, I need to get out of here." / Todd: "If you just joined, you wouldn't have to piss in bottles anymore!" / Alan: "The official statement of Lexcorp is that we do not, in fact, have to do that!" ■ "If you would like to support your local community of contract criminals, goons, and henchmen: we do have t-shirts available. And, as the motto always says: do bad shit, safely." ■

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★★★ VILLAINS OF (HERO) SUPPORT GROUP (exists for DC and Marvel, created by thepandaredd. i definitely do not need to include this, but i thought it would be funnier if i did)

● there is one for Captain America (p safe to assume it is Steve Rogers' Captain America. Marvel) and one for Superman (p safe to assume it is Clark Kent's Superman. DC) so far. the therapist in charge of either is unnamed, but both have glasses and button-ups (tho the Superman one came in late after getting black-out drunk and taking a nap, and came in with a black t-shirt)

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----------------- people ----------------

★★★ TODD ANDREWS (DC Comics OC)

● unknown pronouns

● works hotline for the insurance company called Superb Prowers (listed above under "Associations"). spoke will Bill The Professional Henchman to help him with his insurance over the phone for his bone-loss claim

● appearance: wears glasses. Wore a white button-up long-sleeve in one video, wore a black t-shirt in one video, wore a black long-sleeve in a third video; every time had black pants(? or at least dark. may be sweatpants, which fair). Plays with a pen a lot (in one video, i think it is a capped pen; in another video it is, i think, a clicky pen which makes Todd slowly and silently clicks at one point while speaking/listening to a call. and i say "plays with" and what i mean is "has it in Todd's hand, between their fingers" a lot. i assumed Todd uses it like a fidget to spin or tap Todd's own chin with, but that is not seen; but Todd slowly + silently clicking the clicky variety is seen. this is too much overexplanation about a fucking pen)

↳ wears a headset with microphone attachment for work. not wireless. sits in a swivel chair with arms at work

● i assume this Todd Andrews is not the same Todd that Bill The Henchman went to high school with. (also, is definitely not the Tood The Goonion Rep) more on why i think that in Todd-(assumedly-not-Andrews)'s (as well as Todd-of-the-Goonion's) section below, is still within the "People" section

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★★★ "THE GUY" (DC Comics OC)

↳ as in "Alfred, call the guy"

● unknown name. confirmed to go by he/him pronouns

● adoption social worker agent, maybe insurance agent? probably, i assume. nothing is confirmed, which is the point

● no further specific details known. i will never make hcs about this character; he is supposed to be a mystery

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★★★ KEVIN (their first Marvel OC! that's rare for thepandaredd! yay!)

● unknown surname, unknown pronouns.

● was in exactly one skit about Marvel, which is unusual for thepandaredd, almost everybody else is a DC Comics OC

● designed the Sentinels' visually (The Sentinel Project are the giant robots who hunt mutants in X-Men). im ngl, i think thepandaredd forgot Bolivar Trask specifically already exists lol but maybe not, as thepandaredd did remember to include the headline "Trask Industries (mid 60s)" in the tiktok. hey! maybe Trask did the idea and/or engineering and hired Kevin as an artist, or maybe Trask pitched the idea after Kevin sold him on it and it's like a "Steve Jobs and all the unnamed workers who came up with the iPhone ideas" scenario (Kevin did at one point say "The President loved it", so Bolivar Trask could be President, sure), idk, i only know of Trask vaguely from the 90s "X-Men: The Animated Series" show i watched as a toddler and from the "X-Men: Days of Future Past" movie i watched a decade ago in theaters, maybe i'm the one forgetting shit, i dont pay attention to what is the generally accepted Bolivar Trask lore bc i dont care about the character, personally. Peter Dinklage is cool tho

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★★★ BILL (THE PROFESSIONAL HENCHMAN) (DC Comics OC)

info that is unknown bc of The Reboot Agent stuff (the video of which i am only linking once and it is here) is [[[ bracketed ]]] already but i will also make it [[[ green ]]] inside the brackets for your guys' convenience

● he/him, unknown surname. (hc full name: William "Bill" Bail. i have a whole scene planned for Bill attempting to be vulnerable by giving an OC of mine his surname as a sign of trust, as he doesn't do that as a way of protecting his relatives/identity from the villains that employ him, followed by my OC fully not believing his surname is real and busting Bill's chops about it. it works for my needs, and i personally dont agree with the handful of fans i see that hc his surname should be Hench or Henchman though i do love their energy, that is a v funny joke. i just wanted a different variety of a jokey surname. uh, but, yeah! Bail is a real surname, and the surname itself is actually a diminutive of "bailiff". as in the job. which a bailiff is a officer of the court who keeps order and "looks after prisoners" (ie. "A bailiff is a manager, overseer or custodian – a legal officer to whom some degree of authority or jurisdiction is given. Bailiffs are of various kinds and their offices and duties vary greatly.") which is all a vast simplification of bailiffs but i think it is a cute simplification for Bill's character specifically)

● confirmed to have worked runs with Joker, Two-Face, Black Mask, Penguin, Mr Freeze, Riddler (and also maybe Lex Luthor? it is implied due to how much Bill knows about Lexcorp working conditions, and also the Jimmy Olsen stuff as mentioned below)

↳ idk if this is still accurate post-reboot [[[ an unnamed co-worker worked at Cobra Commander (Cobra Headquarters in Springfield) earlier that week, is one of the places the Goonion sends people. Bill maybe has, maybe has not been there? idk, he seemed to know about how to take the helmet off but maybe Bill just saw the latch. hard to tell when the whole dialogue is "There's a latch" when he's already looking at the helmet. i assume no, Bill has not worked for Cobra, because he said "there's a latch" so late in the skit and also from what he said "Wait, so that's another villain's henchman?! That's even worse!" so he didn't know the uniform(?) which implies he didn't work there (which is odd bc he also said "Yes, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable to just have in your car?! Why do you even have that?!" so he recognized it. i guess he just thought it was cosplay instead of another henchman uniform, idk). you could make an argument either way, i guess, hc away lol ]]]

↳ answers phonecalls as "You got Bill."

↳ texts his bosses stuff like "On it, boss."/"Yes, sir. You got it, boss."/"On my way. Will do, boss."/"Yes, sir. On it, boss."/"Okay, boss. Be back soon." even though he'd rather yell (this is mainly @Joker)

↳ (this happened post-reboot) knows Jimmy Olsen well enough that Jimmy recognizes him on sight alone; meaning he has very fucking likely also worked for Metropolis villains (such as but not limited to Lex Luthor) and has faced Superman often

● appearance: generally always wears a black ball-cap hat (didn't use to way back but it is a thing by now), a necklace tucked into his shirt (i cant tell what his necklace is. is it a sparkplug necklace? → edit: NOPE. it's from 2022 January's PO Box Unboxing, it's "Skele-Gro: Bone Regenerator". it's a tube of amber-yellow liquid, with a pale yellow label, on a silver chain, with a silver skull-and-crossbones charm). he dresses in all black most of the time. generally wears t-shirts or long-sleeves, usually of the monochromatic variety (almost always a gray/black plain shirt with no graphic, except for in "How the Bat Boy treat henchmen" skit where he wore a few different shirts, and the skit with him and the 16 hour flight stuff where he wore thepandaredd's Lord Deathman merch shirt) (the red-gray henley Bill wore in his first ever tiktok appearance as the first goon ever beat up by a Robin? is generally ignored, hence the strike-through here). and sometimes wears a black jacket (which, generally, is a black denim jacket). does possess Goonion merch.

↳ optional-to-read waffling about the Skele-grow necklace: further confirmation of this indeed being necklace that Bill wears is in this 2022 July compilation, where Bill forgot to tuck his necklace into his shirt and you can see the amber-gold Skele-Grow bottle and the teeny skull-and-crossbones charm. more importantly, you can also see it in the September 2022 compilation, which is the one that features Bill getting shot by Alfred Pennyworth which then leads him into the reboot event in April 2023 compilation where he doesn't have a necklace? but that could be just a prop error (either in the sense "it is there, it just accidentally was hidden from the camera by being tucked into the shirt and whatnot" or in the sense that "it was forgotten on accident but was meant to be there"). plus the Instagram post mentioned a few bullet points down says Bill still has a necklace. i just dont know if it is the same one or not. i, personally, see the necklace as an extension or representation of Bill's connection with his audience and creator, and therefore connected to his Fourth Wall Breaks and everything Madoka-Magic-y i mention in a later bullet-point within Bill's section. so i will be very interested to see if this necklace is lost or not (to simplify his rebooted form additionally in the sense of less bone loss, maybe even no more Fourth Wall breaks? idk, maybe. the Agent Of The Reboot was Fourth Wall breaking a lot and Bill was confused, maybe it was out of overwhelmed panic but all those references went over Bill's head. there wasn't any "You can see them too?!" or anything. but who knows! could just be a prop error. maybe when the instagram post listed in lower bullet-point within this section talked about "a necklace always tucked into his shirt", it about the Skele-grow necklace, maybe it was about a wholly new necklace, whooo knowwwss ...i personally would like to know tho, so i do hope thepandaredd does another untucked-necklace Bill video so i can see if it Bill is still wearing a Skele-grow necklace or is it a new necklace)

↳ mid-reboot/post-reboot version has a white streak in his hair, confirmed in the tiktok Agent Reboot video itself idk the video's title

↳ in the Agent Reboot video, Bill also freaks out about how his hat has changed. which the hat he wore when Alfred Pennyworth shot him for breaking in to get Lord Deathman was a plain, all black baseball cap. and mid-reboot freak-out looks like an identically plain, all black baseball cap (to me, anyway). maybe that was a gag that went over my head. maybe it was a sentiment about how well-cared for Bill's things are that he would notice someone switching out his hat for an identical one like it. idk, to my inexperienced eye, it looks like the same hat lol

↳ optional aspect of appearance: leg-braces as "femur transplants are not fool-proof".

↳ note: most of this info comes from thepandaredd's 25 February 2024 instagram post (+ the leg-braces bit was posted by thepandaredd in that post's comment section) unless otherwise stated

↳ also, in the June 2022 compilation there is a PO Box Unboxing, an unnamed fan gave Bill his own Goonion badge. so that is also part of Bill's props assumedly. unlike most of the other badges we have seen in thepandaredd (vertical), the Goonion badge is the only horizontal one which makes me specifically happy bc i prefer horizontal badges. anyway. the info on it, i cannot read because it is too pixelated even at youtube's highest resolution at 2160p, alas. but thepandaredd reads out some of its info says the following: "His height has a little asterisk next to it saying his height was 6'3" before his femurs removed and now he is back to 6'1". Which is, oh my god, I love that. Also, his hair is just listed as 'Yes' and his eyes are listed as 'Currently two'; this is, this is fucking genius." so. there is that lmao i love the badge

● Injuries sustained:

↳ idk how much of this is still accurate post-reboot [[[ lost his bones before (eg. all the bones in his legs more than once. was covered by the Goonion tho. said bones are kept in a box on a bookshelf openly labeled "Spare Bones" apparently as uncovered when Bill broke into Wayne Manor to free Lord Deathman, though it is unconfirmed if Bill took any of the bones he had found and how many in the box were his or if the box was labeled that as a joke but actually contained something else). lost his femur x2 in one year, had to go in surgery both times. shot in both kneecaps by Red Hood. was put on fire "back in the early days" by Red Hood. generally been beat up by the Batfam weapons (eg. Tim Drake's bo-staff to Bill's legs). has been dropped off a roof by Batman (breaks legs, cops come get you). ]]] okay, instagram post by thepandaredd in 25 February 2024 confirms the femur replacements happened, as an optional thing Bill can wear is leg-braces since "femur transplants aren't fool-proof"

↳ idk if this is still true bc reboot [[[ note for age: Bill was The First Goon to ever get beat up by a 10 year-old Robin (assumedly Dick Grayson). i wouldnt be surprised if this was noncanonical because then it means Bill is a minimum of 6+, 8+ years older than 10 year-old Dick Grayson (Nightwing) (therefore making Bill 16, 18 years old when he was beat up, at minimum)? more likely is considered "an adult" in comparison to said Robin's then-age, so i'd go higher than 8 years older than a 10 year-old. idk how old Bill canonically is, but if it differs with that information then this would be noncanonical ]]] [[[ (also beat said Robin (again, safe to assume Dick Grayson) in second meeting, and Batman then beat Bill the fuck up and "did unspeakable things to my bones" so assumedly that was the first time Bill got his bones stolen) ]]]

↳ [[[ "Alfred, Get The Guy" and Other Probably-Non-Canonical Skits: has been "turned off" (stopped fucking existing for a sec). i seriously doubt that was ever canon for Bill, but the reboot happened so i assume the reboot doubly-so kills this ]]]

↳ idk if this counts bc reboot [[[ chronic issue: lost ability to feel temperature bc of fire (a Robin set him on fire? unclear which one, implied lots of time has passed so unlikely to be Damian Wayne) ]]]

↳ also a chronic issue: it's implied in one of the Lord Deathman videos (when Bill is going to break out Lord Deathman from the Wayne Manor as per Joker's request. the following occurs right before Bill texts the Joker) that Bill has tinnitus. i assume that is still true post-reboot because it is a small enough chronic injury, it makes sense, sure. but yeah, we hear the "ears ringing" sound during a scene where Bill has laid down to rest and relax before he looks at his phone

↳ can (sometimes? always? idk) speak Fourth Wall, likely because of a side-effect of how many times he has been hit in the head. i assume this still works in spite of the reboot, since Bill was able to, not only talk to the Reboot Agent, but very importantly: have the ability to have woken up mid-reboot. both of those things are likely related to this Fourth Wall Breaking ability. however, also, the Agent kept saying Fourth Wall breaks and Bill did not have a "You can see them too?!" reaction, but rather a very confused and overwhelmed panic reaction where he did not seem to get the references. so maybe he has now lost the ability. i have no idea

↳ my hc add-on as to why Bill was enabled to wake up mid-reboot: do you remember seeing just all of "Madoka Magica"? spoilers for that incoming (or you at least have seen Danny Motta's reaction series to it on youtube, assuming if you're like me and that show has triggers you don't want to risk potentially triggering yourself by watching the show but. like. you do want to know the events, impact, and pop-culture references) where Homura's love for Madoka to keep jumping into timelines to try to save her is singularly what ends up making Madoka the chosen one? because she was loved to that point? that even the universe took notice of her and claimed her as its prodigal child, because the universe reflects what we (in this cause: Homura specifically) puts into it? yeah, i hc that's Bill and this audience. that he just was likely some nameless goon, like a lot of thepandaredd OCs, but because fans (and thepandaredd) loved Bill so much, they took this throwaway skit character mid-overall-creation and gave Bill life where life was intended for him to be miscellaneous. hell, Bill even wears a Skele-Gro necklace from a fan in a PO Box Unboxing video that thepandaredd did a short skit mid-PO-Box-video of Bill receiving (at least i assume that is what he is wearing, he does keep it under his shirt). Bill became important enough to even be rebooted, much less wake up mid-reboot, because of how much he is loved. it's arguably why he has some on/off low-level Fourth Wall breaks too (we don't see that consistently be a thing for other goons). maybe im getting a little too Grant Morrison's "Animal Man" or, hell, even just fucking "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams. because Bill's plot is still overall (to steal a line from Jo O'Connor's "Mind Blind"* game tag-line:) "A Story Where You Are NOT The Chosen One!" in a world of Supermans and billionaires and other lucky and not-so-lucky bastards. but still. the love is there, and it is important; and maybe it doesn't make Bill's life better, but it matters that it is still there. but i digress [ *: and bc i fucking love that game, here is the link to the free demo version of Mind Blind. go to Jo's patreon if you want more after the demo]

● confirmed co-workers: idk bc reboot [[[ Scott (unknown pronouns. was beat up by Batman while Bill was "the first goon to be beat up by Robin"). that's all that is known about Scott, so Scott does not have an individual section. also, we never saw Scott, so we have no idea what Scott looks like ]]] ■ [[[ Ted (he/him pronouns. was name-dropped in "how the Bat Boys treat henchman" video. was thrown out of a 73-odd story building window by Man-Bat; is dead. that's all the info i have on Ted, so i won't give Ted his own OC section. we also have no idea what this Ted looks like, we never saw this Ted on-screen. the skit featuring him is in the November 2021 compilation) (edit: possibly/arguably more about Ted, post-reboot, is below. maybe could be same Ted character, maybe could be a totally different Ted. idk. but this Ted has their own section) ]]] ■ [[[ John (he/him pronouns. was probably never canon. but he was mentioned alongside Bill in a skit about an old goon complaining about younger people calling Terry by Batman in "Batman Beyond", where John was a goon that Batman smiled at and John is "still at Arkham to this day, he never recovered from that"). that's all that is known about John so no an individual section. also, we never saw John either so there are no notes about that either ]]] + a bunch of unnamed co-worker goons lol

● idk bc reboot [[[ had jury duty with Bruce Wayne. is meant to imply he was present for (and that this is based off of) the famous "Bruce admits he is Batman because of Jury Duty and everyone in the courtroom laughs" comic. said courtcase was about the unnamed goon Bill and Batman briefly interacted with that got shot in the crotch because said goon insisted on keeping a gun under their waistband ]]]

● calls his work "independent contractor" and "this freelance thing, working where I can" // when not hiding his job, has called himself a "hench for hire"

● lives at "Company housing" // does indeed live in Gotham, is occasionally shipped on assignment outside of Gotham by the Goonion per aforementioned implications (plus, explicitly has been sent out by his bosses. namely Joker, who once had Bill go on a 16 hour flight to send Bane a pie in-person that assumedly had a bomb in it as well as Joker having assigned Bill to attend Comic-con. (which was post-reboot, as a fun fact, so it definitely happened). but yeah, i assume the habit happens outside of that specific event in terms of both the Joker sending Bill out long-distances as well as other villains also sending him out to far-off places. just. for more grounded reasons than the Joker lol)

● idk bc reboot [[[ knows a Todd from high school (wore a wire for the G.C.P.D., pretended to be into henching), tho Todd never graduated. nonetheless, Todd does have a section below ]]] 

● idk if this counts bc reboot [[[ tried to become a cop (G.C.P.D.) with a fake mustache, under tha name "Will. Just Will", even though 60% of Gotham cops are dirty + the good ones (eg Commissioner Gordon) knew Joker had only just broken out of jail and assembled a crew. Comissioner Gordon has personally arrested Bill over 50 times, he immediately knew it was Bill ]]]

● idk bc reboot [[[ was shown where the Bat Cave was by Cassandra when she made him help her dispose of Lord Deathman's corpse Joker made bc she had "tiny hands". he used this information to later free Lord Deathman. i would bet Bill knowing this info did not survive the reboot but who knows ]]]

● Bill chooses to work for villains instead of Wayne Industries because he sees billionaire Bruce Wayne as a villain too; and, between the two, he'd rather work with the villain with style (aka: Batman villains). this admission technically happened pre-reboot but i assume it is still his opinion

● idk bc reboot but i assume yes, still true, but just in case [[[ Bill is anti-smoking. does not seem to like it even if it's people smoking around him, will get all Disappointed Yet Sassy on other goons smoking. i assume this goes for cigarettes, cigars, joints etc; but the skit only implied cigarettes ]]]

● i assume this still counts in spite of the reboot, but idk, ill make it green anyway just in case [[[ Bill doesn't have kids. and assumedly from the following dialogue line, he doesn't ever want kids. there is an implication that he could have had kids, and idk if that was an implication as in (1) a significant other and him had a talk and likely mutually agreed to an abortion, (2) he and a significant other broke up because they wanted kids and he did not (and assumedly said partner had kids p soon afterwards with, like, their very next partner or so, hence why there would be a "could have been me" sentiment), (3) Bill had the oppurtunity to take a kid/some kids in as their guardian but chose not to (eg. as a step-parent, as in kinship care or kinship adoption, as a foster care or a foster child wanting to become Bill's kid, or maybe Bill got close with a kid in a non-foster setting and said kid wanted Bill to foster them/to be their legal guardian, idk), or (4) Bill almost donated to a sperm bank but decided not (or maybe he did donate and checked off the "never contact me" box and considers that still "not having kids". i personally think "no" to this bc i find the sperm bank system in the USA really corruptable and un-regulated, and i don't like that sperm-donor-kids don't have access to their sperm donor's medical records even in cases of medical emergencies/genetic disabilities or chronic illnesses that skipped the sperm donor (or that the sperm donor didn't realize they had, since so much of the sperm donation process is the fucking honor system and sometimes people get late diagnosed and sometimes certain genes activate later in life for a random reason) but did not skip the sperm-donor-kid/etc). in the Lord Deathman skit where Bill and Cassandra Cain (Oracle) bag up Lord Deathman. after she asks him for help carrying the bags, he grumbles "You have got to be fucking kidding me. You are the exact reason why I didn't have kids." before saying "I'll grab my coat!" with frustration. and, yes, all of this theorizing is because the verb-usage "didn't", as in "I could have had kids but I did not" (rather than using a line like "You're the reason I never want kids", where the diction would not have backstory implications), is very interesting to me lmao ]]]

↳ i personally have the hc that, as a connection of Bill's Fourth Wall breaks, similar to how the Joker knows he is in a comic and that the people he kills do not matter ("They're extras" to quote Bakugou), Bill knows he is in a comic and doesn't see much point in having kids. i also personally tie this in with his "Wayne Industries/Bruce Wayne is also a villain" belief in the sense that Bill either still has memories or else has unconscious premonitions from having been a nameless background character in "Bruce Wayne reconstruction stories that show how unstable Bruce/Batman is as a hero" comic stories. like. what is the point of having kids in that kind of enviroment where they could be Superman's "The Man Who Has Everything"-ified and you get rebooted and forced to forget/"forget" your own kids? then the verb usage of "didn't" could be "why I didn't have kids in this timeline". maybe he remembers or has vague premonitions abiut being a dad before (and maybe Bill didn't like being a dad? idk). i think it brings a new touch to his exhaustion in (the Lord Deathman video when Alfred Pennyworth shot him which featured) that scene of him having tinnitus, where he is just tired and sad and needs a break from all this

● i assume this still counts in spite of the reboot, but idk, ill make it green anyway just in case [[[ Bill can read ASL (American Sign Language), we know bc Cassandra Cain (Oracle. thepandaredd plays Cassandra as nonverbal) signed to him in the Lord Deathman skit where they bag up Lord Deathman and she makes him carry the bags because she signs to him "Help me. Tiny hands." ]]]

● i like what i said about Bill, comparing him to Mitchell Mayo in Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King)'s section below (bc i do kind of see thepandaredd's re-imagining of Mitchell as an OC. section is below, still under "People"), so i'm taking the hc-analysis and copy-pasting it here: (i kind of like the hc i have of Mitchell Mayo still being in the Goonion, but is a polar opposite to Bill The Henchman. doesn't connect with new goons or really guide them, Bill is kind of implied to be a bit of a mentor/big brother considering a few goons are excited to show him what they did (eg. the Jimmy Olsen kidnapping skit goon) or when he mother-hens the goon-that-once-worked-at-Cobra-HQ or the goon-with-a-gun-in-waistband, and also the hypothetical-"Batman Beyond"-elder-goon even says "Bless his soul" in talking about Bill. compare that with how Butch Moreti treats Mitchell Mayo. admittingly, Butch was acting under frustrating circumstances, but still. i think Mitchell Mayo is just a "big goon in a small pond" who is seasoned at his goon-work as a helluva scary pseudo-mercenary (one even civillians can immediately recognize), whereas Bill is a seasoned goon that isn't a renowned merc but is still really good at his job and also blends in easy with crowds (bc nobody knows who he is). like. Mitchell Mayo is kind of the asshole "truly evil" guy that Bill could have been, y'know?)

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[[[ ★★★ TODD ??? ]]] (this one is Bill's high school classmate. DC Comics OC)

idk if this Todd exists because of the whole reboot thing (look at Bill The Henchman section under "People" + The Agent of the Reboot section under "Associations"), but sure

● unknown pronouns. unknown surname (hc full name: (bc i don't think he is Todd Andrews) my headcanon for Todd's surname is Turk. if you go to TV Tropes' page on "The Informant" trope, under the "Comic Books" section, you will read about a brief paragraph Marvel character named Turk who was an informant for Marvel vigilantees. and it's obvious in said paragraph why Marvel doesn't use him anymore lmao rip poor Turk to better differentiate this Todd from Todd Andrews, i also hc that Todd is a nickname for "Theodore" so it is slightly easier on my brain to differntiate all these "Todd"s lmao according to BehindTheName, "Theodore" just means "gift of god" which is sweet yet nonspecific. and its sister-site, Surname.BehindTheName,com said the surname "Turk" meant exactly what is on the tin, it means "Turk". fair. but, yeah, so my hc for this character's full name is Theodore "Todd" Turk. neato, alliteration, yay lmao)

● appearance: wore a black crewneck t-shirt and a wire for the G.C.P.D. also, has recieved a free Goonion black t-shirt from Bill to implement possibly into Todd's wardrobe

↳ as a bonus, the skit this Todd was in featured an G.C.P.D. Dispatch officer of an unknown name and unknown pronouns that wore glasses and a black crewneck t-shirt, and sat a a computer. there you go for anybody who wanted to ensure continuity with Todd and this unnamed G.C.P.D. connection

● idk if this still counts bc reboot [[[ was Bill The Henchman's classmate in high school. tho Todd never graduated high school ]]] more about Bill is above, albeit still under the "People" section

● idk if this still counts bc reboot [[[ wore a wire for the G.C.P.D., pretended to be looking into henching. idk if that means Todd works for the G.C.P.D. and was briefly undercover for this, or if Todd was asked to take a wire for a bit (by the G.C.P.D.) as a civillian. regardless, got a Goonion t-shirt from Bill ]]]

● assumedly not the Todd Andrews from Superb Powers (Todd Andrews' section is somewhere above, under "People". the Superb Powers is above even that, under "Associations") or Todd The Goonion Rep (said Todd is below, still within the "People" section. the Goonion is above, under "Associations") as this Todd does not wear glasses and i think you need to have finished high school to be an accountant? maybe they are the same and Todd got a GED after, i have no idea, hc to your heart's extent, maybe Todd Andrews' glasses are just for blue-light, maybe Todd the Goonion Rep wears fake glasses, or maybe this Todd wears contacts who knows

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★★★ TODD (this one is the Goonion rep. DC Comics OC)

↳ technically, i have been calling this Todd by the wrong title kind of this whole time but i had to, i had to do it for the communicative clarity of consistency. because Todd's actual title is only colloquially "a Goonion Rep." as Todd's actual title is "Traveling Representative for the First Universal Henchman's Union". again, this is usually shortened colloquially to "Goonion Rep" but you get it, you get why i didn't call him that every time in the past, Goonion Rep is snappier and there's getting to quickly be too many Todds lmao

● unknown surname. unknown pronouns. (hc full name: Thaddeus "Todd" Malloy. and, with that, i have p much run out of things "Todd" can be short for. luckily, Thaddeus kind of fits a union rep, as BehindTheName.com says it likely derived from the meaning "heart". that's cute. and esp for a Goonion rep, as BehindTheName also says "In the Gospel of Matthew, Thaddaeus is listed as one of the twelve apostles, though elsewhere in the New Testament his name is omitted and Jude's [aka another form of Judas' name, apparently] appears instead. It is likely that the two names refer to the same person". and im not nor have i ever been a Christian but goons and Judas assumedly fit together? yeah? i hope? anyway, i picked the surname Malloy because of the 1954 movie "On The Waterfront" which is about unions, mobs, and an ex-prize-fighter named Teddy Malloy. you can see the connection. i haven't seen it in so many years, i apologize if it is a bad movie to connect to, the plot-summary i read seemed fine enough and my chronic memory loss-riddled ass remembers if fondly enough even tho i was like... seven lol. but, i digress. i should also note that according to Surname.BehindTheName.com Malloy also has connections to both "noble, proud leader" and "faithful servant". huh! even more fitting!)

● appearance: wears glasses. wears a white button-up and a black tie

● works at The First Universal Henchman's Union, aka The Goonion (more on that organization above, under the "Associations" section)

● this is p safe to assume not the Todd Andrews from Superb Powers (Todd Andrews' section is somewhere above, under "People". the Superb Powers section is above even that, under the "Associations" heading) or the Todd That is Bill's High School Friend (said Todd is above, though still within the "People" section. the Goonion is above even that too, under "Associations"). i explained in Todd That Is Bill's High School Friend's section some of why they might be different, might be the same, it's all up the hc, but im p confident they are all different characters all given the forename Todd, okay? okay lmao

● (@/thepandaredd, if you ever read this: i know you love Jason Todd, Jason is also my favorite in the Batfam (after Alfred, obviously, but you get it), and you have this many different Todd OCs is so fucking funny but also im begging you for other names in-between my laughs, please no more Todds lmao) [/tone clarity: this is me complaining as a bit. do what you want, it's your tiktok and your OCs. im just joshing. ill be fine if you do more Todds. much love to you and yours ♡]

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★★★ DR. AARON MICHAELS (DC Comics OC)

● he/him pronouns

● Therapist at Akrham Asylum

↳ replacing an assumedly male (had he/him pronouns if nothing else) therapist that Joker seduced, much like the Joker also had done with Harley Quinn; they found out because the guy had downloaded videos on his desktop that were explict and graohic about clowns. he was fired and Dr. Aaron Michaels was hired

● calls patients by their civillian names (important contrast with Dr. Morton below, is also under the "People" section)

● appearance: wears glasses. in his first video, Dr. Aaron Michaels wore a red long-sleeve button-up with a gray vest and matching gray pants. in Dr. Aaron Michael's second and third video, he wore a red long-sleeve button-up with a gray wool suit jacket. generally has folders/binders/notes, with said folder/binder being darkly colored (black? gray? very dark blue? i cant tell). also has an Arkham ID badge (the card is verticle as a fun fact) that he wears on his suit jacket's breast pocket

● has to make a semi-regular video log ("to mak[e] sure I don't have any 'impure thoughts about the inmates'" which he doesn't like that wording for his patients but you pick and choose your battles)

● Works down the hall from Dr. Morton (is below, is also under the "People" section)

● Transferred from Seattle (doesn't have prior knowledge of patients, instead sits down with them totally blind and whatnot). for those unaware, that is in Washington, USA

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★★★ DR. MORTON (DC Comics OC)

● he/him. Unknown forename (i know in his first video that Dr. Morton showed his Arkham badge to camera but i cannot read it so idk if it said his forename. but i like being a nerd about names+meanings; so, despite the fact that it is quite likely he does have a first name already, because it is illegible to me, im giving him a hc forename: very tempting to jokingly pick "Jay" because thepandaredd is Jay Morton, but that's low-hanging fruit, so i digress my pick is Victor, after Victor Frankenstein of "Frankenstein" fame. tho, like, Victor barely counts as a doctor, he's more of a hack insisting he counts, but he practices alchemy which even his classmates say is super-outdated and not a real science. im getting off track. my "BUT"-point here is that i associate them together because Victor Frankenstein sees the Creature, arguably his own son (i def see the Creature as his son, Victor literally created the Creature, but i digress) but is definitely a patient of his if nothing else, as a monster immediately upon the uncanny-valley-motherfucker daring to actually move &&& Dr Morton calls his patients exclusively by their villain-names so far as of 2024 March, implying he does see his patients as monstrous due to their actions or at least sees their villain identities as superseding their original civillian names, which is a really cool contrasting point between him and Dr. Aaron Michaels. i wonder if that's something they argue about but are still friends in spite of, if that sticking point of difference stops them from being friends, etc)

● Level 2 Medical Officer at Arkham Asylum. also called "A physician", is specifically a "General Care physician for all the supervillians housed at the asylum"

↳ 8 years medical school, minor is psychology

● Calls patients by their villain names (important contrast with Dr. Aaron Michaels, above, still under the "People" section. i have analysis about this character choice in my "hc for Dr Morton's forename" right up a few points)

● appearance: he wears glasses. in his first video, Dr. Morton wore red scrubs (or what i assume are supposed to be scrubs? idk, im not a scrubs expert) with a black longer-sleeved shirt underneath and black pants. Dr. Morton also wears what i assume is a scrub-cap, and it is black with skull-and-crossbones on it. in his second video, Dr. Morton wore a white labcoat on top of his scrubs, but otherwise dressed the same. also, he has an Arkham ID badge (fun fact: the card is vertical) that he wore as a lanyard around his neck

↳ hc: i think Dr. Morton stops wearing his ID around his neck. it's a common enough thing that patients will attempt to strangle their doctors in general clinics (much less around dangerously violent patients, like in Arkham Asylum) that doctors (1) dont wear stethoscopes around their neck anymore as a rule, or anything around their neck that could be used to choke them; (2) dont generally wear lanyards and, if they do, it is a break-away lanyard; and (3) instead of lanyards will wear a badge-holder-clip (often a retractable one for convenience) on their top somewhere (ive seen it clipped on their scrub-shirt's neck, their shirt breast pocket, and the hem of the shirt. i once saw it on the hem of their sleeve. i do not know if there is protocol about this beyond "above the waist", this is just based on observations and none of the odder ones are recent. i usually see breast pocket the most). which means someone probably tried to choke out Dr. Morton, and idk who would be the most likely candidate, but regardless it probably doesn't help Dr. Morton see his patients positively enough to use their civillian-names over their villain-names

↳ another hc: which, like. speaking of, i dont think Dr. Morton using villain-names over character-names is bad. it is part of the patients identity and probably the part they recognize the most (since v rarely are any remorseful for their actions). it shows Dr. Morton sees them for their (current) actions, rather than seeing them for their humanity out of his own perception of the world. saying that, i still disagree with the decision for a multitude of reasons, but it's a cool character detail and i wont go off in a tangent about this, this is already enough lol

● Works down the hall from Dr. Aaron Michaels (whose section is above, still under the "People" section)

● Listed treatments:

↳ Eyedrops many times a week for Two-Face's eye to not be a raisin

↳ Splinting Penguin's nose

↳ Has never seen Clayface shit

↳ Repairing "the grill" of Joker

↳ Trying to convince the Joker that wiping his ass does not, and can not, make the Joker gay (suspects the Joker is attracted Batman nonetheless)

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★★★ BUTCH MORETI (DC Comics OC)

technically, this character kind of doesn't exist. as the character was just in a draft version of the "Make Condiment King Scary" tiktok, and not in the finalized video. but i am ignoring that

↳ idk if "Butch" was the character's forename or nickname, but i assume it is the forename (but you can hc it as a nickname if you want)

● Pronouns unknown

● Worked with Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King, canon character but re-imagined rendition is below, still listed under "People" section) died because of Mitchell due to Mitchel poisoning a dollop of ketchup (that Butch ate with fries from Big Belly Burger, one of Butch's favorite places to eat)

↳ died in a safe-house, after ripping off Falconé

↳ Mitchell Mayo was sent by Falconé to kill Moreti -- "Falconé sends his regards, Butch"

● appearance: was dressed in all black, with a black leather jacket (no lapel, had fake-motorcycle-padding-shoulder-pockets if you squint. this in contrast to Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King)'s leather jacket which did have a lapel), with a black t-shirt, black pants, etc.

● Butch was irritable (makes sense, after ripping off Falconé and finding someone in the safehouse) and waved a gun around for intimidation

● i hc both Butch Moreti and Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) were/are Goonion members and co-workers of Bill The Henchman (more on Bill above, still under the "People" section). i love Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) as what thepandaredd wrote him as now, i refuse to see him any other way after the "Make Condiment King Scary" video lol ■ more on thepandaredd's re-imagining of Mitchell Mayo (The Condiment King) below, still under the "People" section

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★★★ MITCHELL MAYO (CONDIMENT KING) (DC Comics)

technically, shouldn't be here bc he is a canon DC comics character already. but i like thepandaredd's re-imagining enough to have made notes and consider him a bit of an OC of panda's

● assumed, he/him pronouns due to canon and masculine self-references (eg. a guy, a man, King, etc)

● hates the title "Condiment King", does not like to be called that and will tell you. the press gave it to him after a murder Mitchell comitted (more below under "Confirmed murders")

↳ "So patronizing. Like, I'm trying to make some some grand-standing with what I do, I'm not. I'm not."

↳ "Everybody in Gotham has got a gimmick."

↳ "See, my problem isn't with the name itself. It's with what the insult that is implied. People think that what I do is silly. But I'm gonna ask you something. If the ketchup was too tangy, would you stop eating it? Or if your hot wings tingled your throat in a way you didn't expect, would you all of a sudden stop? See, the thing is, apart from taking a shit: eating is when people are at their most vulnerable. I ask you: do you know what poison tastes like? Are you sure?"

● appearance: wears a green beanie with a pompom (reference to character's pickle hat in comics. (fun behind-the-scenes fact: the hat in question in the tiktok is a backwards "Friends" beanie. Mitchell's is assumedly not that. but it is what thepandaredd could find at the time)). wears all black otherwise, including a black leather jacket (with a lapel), a black t-shirt, black pants, etc (note: when killing the unnamed guy a few bullet points below, was wearing a "new sky blue suit" that got stains all over it from fighting said guy in a kitchen and getting tossed around. assumedly had to throw it away after, but who knows, maybe it got cleaned)

↳ very recognizable. Ted (below, still under "People" section) recognized Mitchell Mayo on sight, despite being a Gotham transplant who'd only been there for three months

● personality is generally laid-back? a bit of an "under the surface" type of control-freak? is kind of quiet, lets people make assumptions that benefit Mitchell Mayo. keeps calm while others fly off the handle. will get a bit loud and growly when angry, letting it slip for half a phrase or so, before laughing it off and continuing like he isn't annoyed/pissed off. smiles and laughs creepily at the idea of murdering people; no guilt, no shame, enjoys it. very much recommend watching both the draft and final versions of "Make Condiment King Scary" that thepandaredd made

● likes to eat french fries (in the draft version of "Make Condiment King Scary", Mitchell eats the fries without ketchup as said ketchup is poisoned for Butch Moreti to eat. in this version, the fries are from Big Belly Burger ■ in the final version of the video, Mitchell does eat his fries with ketchup) ■ according to Ted's second "Living in Gotham" video (Ted's section is below, still under the "People" header. Ted called Mitchell Mayo exclusively by "the Condiment King" which i assume did not help Ted's case), Mitchell got so mad at Ted for dissing the Bat Burger (+Joker Fries) that Ted had to hide in the bathroom of an abandoned building as Mitchell Mayo pounded on the bathroom door saying, "I know you're in there! I know you're in there! Open the door!". so i assume the Bat Burger is Mitchell Mayo's favorite and that he is the "No, you misunderstand. I'm not willing to die on this hill, I'm willing to kill you on it." type in regards to food-opinions

● drinks A&W rootbeer? i think?? idk what that can is of otherwise (in final version of "Make Condiment King Scary")

● worked with Falconé as "a goon" ("another grunt off the street"; kind of implies Goonion likely wasn't a thing yet back then? but who knows, Goonion doesn't seem relatively new, so Mitchell Mayo probably was a member when he started. edit: nah, according to the Goonion merch, it was "established 2000", so yeah, it is relatively new, nvm) ("Hands up, fucker, Falconé sends his regards"), implied to not being doing that anymore

↳ when with Butch Moerti (section above, still under "People"), is implied to still be peers. so still henchmen. Butch patronizes Mitchell, sees Mitchell as below Butch, and Mitchell allows Butch to underestimate him as it benefits Mitchell in the end

↳ i hc both Butch Moreti and Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) were/are Goonion members and co-workers of Bill The Henchman (more on Bill above, still under the "People" section). i love Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) as what thepandaredd wrote him as now, i refuse to see him any other way after the "Make Condiment King Scary" video lol

↳ implied to be a mercenary now? idk if this version is a supervillain (i kind of like the hc i have of Mitchell Mayo still being in the Goonion, but is a polar opposite to Bill The Henchman. doesn't connect with new goons or really guide them, Bill is kind of implied to be a bit of a mentor/big brother considering a few goons are excited to show him what they did (eg. the Jimmy Olsen kidnapping skit goon) or when he mother-hens the goon-that-once-worked-at-Cobra-HQ or the goon-with-a-gun-in-waistband, and also the hypothetical-"Batman Beyond"-elder-goon even says "Bless his soul" in talking about Bill. compare that with how Butch Moreti treats Mitchell Mayo. admittingly, Butch was acting under frustrating circumstances, but still. i think Mitchell Mayo is just a "big goon in a small pond" who is seasoned at his goon-work as a helluva scary pseudo-mercenary (one even civillians can immediately recognize), whereas Bill is a seasoned goon that isn't a renowned merc but is still really good at his job and also blends in easy with crowds (bc nobody knows who he is). like. Mitchell Mayo is kind of the asshole "truly evil" guy that Bill could have been, y'know?)

● Confirmed murders: (within thepandaredd re-imagining canon)

↳ manipulated Butch Moreti (section above, still under "People") via using Big Belly Burger fries (Butch Moreti's favorite. "Man, you know that's my shit") and poisoning a dollop of ketchup that had been untouched on a paper plate -- arguably non-canonical bc Butch only exists in a drafted version of "Make The Condiment King Scary" and not the final version, but im ignoring that ■ well, actually, i guess Butch kind of is also in the final version as there is some unseen person cough-choking to the end, assumedly poisoned. that could be Butch. or a reference to Butch. who knows lol

↳ (the following is a bastardized summary of the "Make Condiment King Scary" final video; please go watch it) Mitchell killed an unnamed guy in a pot of hot sauce (technically, "extra hot sauce", still on the stove ■ "You know, when you drown, they say your lungs feel like they're on fire. Can you imagine what that's like with capsaicin added to the mix?" (this line is only in the draft version) ■ "Did you know that it only takes three pounds of ground up chillis, consumed in one sitting, to kill a man? Purely from the capsaicin. Well, I'll tell you what, he figured out what it's like to inhale that shit."). drowned the unnamed guy in a pot of it. it is how Mitchell Mayo got the nickname "Condiment King" from the press. ■ event in further detail: Mitchell was sent by Falconé bc a resteraunt "racket" he had been running (slang definition: "an illegal or dishonest scheme for obtaining money". i assume that means the place was a front for money laundering? that the "owner" went "no, fuck you, i actually like doing this"? that's kinda sweet. or maybe Falconé was doing "pay me for protection (from me)" thing, idk, that's less sweet but still admirable lol) had itself an owner who decided not to pay, "So I was sent to relieve him of his station". Mitchell let the guy finish up his meal, followed the owner into the back, stuck a gun in his face. but the guy was a black belt in karate, kicked gun out of Mitchell's hand, fought and tossed Mitchell around, then Mitchell held the unnamed guy's head in that pot of hot sauce "until the fucking bubbles stopped coming up". therefore, Mitchell Mayo killed a guy with hot sauce in a suit covered in condiments got the nickname "Condiment King"

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★★★ REGGIE BENSON (his second Marvel OC! yay!)

● unknown pronouns. (he/him implied via "dude" and "guy" diction? but idk, i use those gender neutrally myself)

● appearance: wears a red and a blueish-gray flannel with a black sherpa lining that is a zip-up jacket; ontop of a plain pale-red t-shirt. as a prop, Reggie often carries around an iPad (assumedly to draw on, write notes, and record audio with. i hc Reggie uses the Notability app a fuck ton, because that lets you record audio while you write notes which is great for lectures/interviews. Notability is a bit hard to draw with in my exp, but not the worst; plus you can switch apps easy. idk how well it works for Zoom/Facetime/online interviews, but in-person ones? esp pre-Wolverine-interview? Reggie probably used Notability a shitton. iPad is a very good prop pick for Reggie to have), said iPad seems to have a pale-gray case. Reggie also has a prosthetic leg (assumedly his right (the viewer's left) leg from how he looked down?)

↳ "How did I get [my prosthetic leg]? I, uh, mighy have asked Wolverine how he shaves? Listen, I'm just saying-- I know legal said don't talk about it, they asked, I want to tell them-- if a nuke gets dropped on a guy, and he comes back with perfectly shaved mutton-chops, I don't think it's unreasonable to know how he shaves his freaking moustache, okay?!" ("I, uh, I have been informed by legal team over at Marvel that I, I, I, uh, should stop talking about the Wolverine interview on camera. So, uh, can you just, tch, cut that, please?")

● works at Marvel Comics' Marvel Comics (bc Marvel Comics legitimately decided "let's put our comic company inside our comic-universe, selling comics about the heroes the universe has. like a graphic novel version of the news, except it is 'fictional stories with grains of truth' somehow", sure). thepandaredd explains this oddity a bit better over in the July 2022 compilation (which, for clarity, Reggie's introductory skits are over in the August 2022 compilation)

↳ Reggie's official position at the company is: "Earth 616 Reporter (Mutant Division) Marvel™️ Comics". Reggie just says "I'm a reporter for Marvel Comics" and that "Personally, a lot of the stories that I cover are a lot of mutant and mutant-related things." ■ they still say "Excelsior"/"'celsior" at fictional-Marvel, that's cool

↳ it can probably be safely assumed Stan Lee and Jack Kirby and whatnot still are still alive? since they were, at one point, in the comics? but idk if they are in the skit-world-of-thepandaredd. but they might be Reggie's co-workers?

↳ Reggie explains their job as a mixture of the news section and "the funny pages" section of a newspaper. it's reporting news, put in some graphics, and add "drama and spice to keep things fresh". ■ Marvel Comics (the fictional company) does try to be unbiased and also get "all the perspectives possible" (eg. the villains' pov). says that "Some people that rhe public has labeled as super-villains aren't really that bad of people to talk to. Others, (note: Reggie is clearly thinking of Mojo, more in a lower bullet-point) uhm [i cut out the heavy stuttering], some of the opinions are deserved." ■ Reggie sees himself as "I like to think of myself as their voice. I get to get their side of the story out to the people, y'know?"

↳ for work, Reggie has met with: Paste Pot Pete (no label within the skit. civillian identity: Peter Petruski. is sometimes also called The Trapster, but not in these skits lol) ■ Mojo (the skit labels Mojo as "Mojo. Media Tycoon. Professionally Gross. Entrepreneur. Owner: WatchMojo". Mojo is both his villain and civillian name. his alien species is called the Spineless Ones. in one specific comic-run, "Ultimate X-Men", he is a human named Mojo Adams, but i digress. Reggie gets general-canon-alien-Mojo, who terrifies/disgusts Reggie to the point that Reggie screams, even on video-call/Facetime) ■ Wolverine (the skit labels Wolverine as "Logan Howlett. Mutant. 'The Wolverine™️'. Avengers, X-Men, X-Force, History Teacher." Wolverine hates Reggie: he says "fuck that guy" and thinks Reggie is a total asshole) ■ Charles Xavier (the skit labels Charles as "Charles Xavier. Headmaster. Mutant. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngesters™️. Nobel Prize Winner". when asked about Reggie, Charles began by saying Reggie is "a fine young chap" until he was told this was off the record, to which Charles said "Oh, the dude's a prick.") ■ Namoor (Zoom interview. has fried the "complimentary iPad we gave him by going underwater" before, hope that doesn't happen again. is mentioned in skit, but not shown, so no label)

↳ i personally feel it is important to add Reggie will snort-laugh at some things the people they interview say, and Reggie will cover it up with a lie that the sound they made was "allergies"/that it is "allergy season"

↳ my hc: i think the Paste Pot-Pie interview was pre-Wolverine, and Reggie does all his interviews over Facetime/Zoom since losing his leg post-Wolverine interview? maybe legal over at Marvel advised it

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★★★ ARNOLD (a third Marvel OC! very little info tho)

● unknown surname. unknown pronouns. (hc: i googled Marvel's version of State University to confirm if Arnold was an OC or not, and i couldn'find anything to say he is canon so i assume OC. i know very little Fantastic Four lore. anyway, i see it says there is a dean already there-- which is to be expected, and universities can have multiple deans-- but that same dean does not have a forename. so i am hc'ing slapping Arnold onto this dean whose entire wiki says he just "welcome[d] Reed Richards when he arrived with the the Fantastic Four at State U to deliver a lecture", the end. so, my hc name is Dean Arnold Mencken, or just Arnold Mencken when he is not a dean, i guess. also, i looked what the surname means on my beloved search-engine of Surnames.BehindTheName because i LOVE name-meanings and intertextual references and whatnot-- and nothing came up. so i tried google, and a site called "Forebears.io" that i am unsure about entirely trusting says that it is a variant spelling of the surname Menken (which BehindTheName also had nothing on) and both means "One who lived in a monastery" which sounds fitting and i kind of have an "i don't know enough about this to say you're right or wrong, and i don't like that" opinion about. but eh. the character's surname was already decided. it's whatever, it's just a hc. if you want to see the fandom-wiki pages on Dean [No forename] Mencken, the one listing him as staff from State U is here and his own page is over here)

↳ insists students call him by just "Arnold" when they try to call him "Dean". Victor Von Doom compromises, somewhat, and switches from "Dean" to "Dean Arnold"

● is a dean at State University in New York (which, yes, is a real university). was dean at the time Reed Richards and Victor Von Doom were students

● appearance: wears glasses and a plain black t-shirt in the skit

● is in just the one skit from the 2023 Oct./Nov. compilation, unlikely to appear again but who knows!

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★★★ PROFESSOR FINGER (DC Comics OC)

↳ is actually a spoof on "Bill Finger", who worked on Batman comics. more below under Professor Kane's section (below, still under "People")

● he/him pronouns. unknown forename. (hc forename: Duval. after Marie Duval, the primary creator of "Ally Sloper" which was a then-famous Victorian comic strip to which her husband (Charles Ross) stole all the credit and was heralded as a comic genius for almost 150 years. only in the past few years, thanks to a comics historian named David Kunzle, has Marie Duval been given her full share of credit for what was ultimately her comic. but yeah, i checked if Duval is a forename and i found tons of people with it as their forename so hell yeah)

● appearance: unknown, Prof Finger was never shown on-screen

● switched mid-skit between calling him an "English teacher" and a "Philosophy teacher". (maybe he's English specialized in Philosophy, like ive had English college classes require we read "On The Consolation of Philosophy" by Boethius before) more likely, Finger is English and Jason Todd mispoke when he said "Philosophy"

● is a Professor at Tim Drake's school, and Tim is in his class; Jason Todd took his class, was implied to have taken it years ago. was called "Professor Finger" (note: not "Dr. Finger", this OC assumedly does not have a doctorate. which, it is fairly common for English profs to have up to a Masters, then its a toss-up if they stopped there or also got a PhD so that checks out. main reason i mention it is bc i kept making a typo the first time i wrote this section up calling him "Dr. Finger" and that isn't accurate, he was never called that in the skit, idk why i kept making the same typo).

↳ the phrasing of "Professor" leads me to assume this is university (idk how private schools work and if they have students call anybody "Professor") which Jason Todd i don't think is confirmed to go to university? (Jason Todd hc: i think he should go. i am very much Team Jason Todd The English Professor Or English (Public? or Gotham Academy?) High School Teacher (probably more likely public bc i can see Jason Todd wanting to reach out to disadvantaged youth at public schools moreso than help deliquent rich kids on principle. but i can also see him going "i dont want to hang out with teenagers who don't want to participate in discussions; i'm gonna teach on college campuses" bc he deserves students who are interested in his class, his life has been hard enough, let him have passionate students and, unfortunately, college English students are more likely passionate about the material than high school English students, idk what to tell you). but im also Team Jason Todd Takes College Classes (Mostly English) For Fun With No Intent Of A Degree tho. either or) and the only college Tim went to that i am aware of is Ivy University in Ivy Town. however, i think it is more likely both Jason Todd and Tim Drake are both taking college classes (or "has taken" in Jason Todd's case since it's implied he went Finger's class years ago, idk if he is implied to still attending or not rn, before was just my hc) at Gotham University in Gotham City, that feels like the most convenient place for them to both go. however, it would also make sense for this to be a reference to Gotham Academy (in which case Tim Drake is in high school and Jason Todd has since left), but again, idk if private schools ask students to call their teachers by "Professor". im probably overthinking this

● obsessed with Batman

↳ keeps having students every semester write a paper on the philosophy of Batman to the point that Jason Todd thinks "he should have a book of those by now"

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★★★ PROFESSOR KANE (DC Comics OC)

↳ is actually a spoof on "Bob Kane", who worked on the Batman comics 

↳ (if you want to read up on why Bill Finger and Bob Kane are being discussed like this, this article goes over a good amount of introductory information (https://boldentrance.com/how-bob-kane-stole-batman-from-bill-finger/) and i also recommend this reddit thread to get a bit more of a window into the DC Comics fandom dialogue about it (https://www.reddit.com/r/batman/s/sf8P8hgBxv). but yeah, there's better resources if you want to know more in-depth stuff, i just picked the most accessible, quick-to-read, starter stuff) thepandaredd has also done a few videos on Bill Finger and Bob Kane, but i can't find them even though i know they exist (edit: found them (on accident), it's within their "DC Comics Discussions 3" youtube video). but this is just thepandaredd doing a "Wouldn't it be nice?" alternate reality where the students protected Finger and ousted Kane for trying to steal Finger's job, the actions dictated here did not happen in real life. it's just a nod to the irl drama via the names involved (and also maybe the enough "psychology/philosophy of Batman" stuff to make a book is a reference that Finger kept a continuity book of all Batman and Batman-associated-characters/places he came up with so as to minimize continuity errors. i am not aware of Finger having ever written a "Psychology/Philosophy of Batman" book or anything similar for that topic ad nauseam, again, as far as i am aware, that's just a popular point of pop culture analysis to the point that even i have written a paper on it for college), it is not a summary of said drama

● he/him. unknown forename. (hc forename: Ross. after Charles Ross, of the "Ally Sloper" fame, who famously took all the credit that his wife, Marie Duval did to making this Victorian comic strip an icon of its time)

● appearance: unknown, Prof Kane is never seen on-screen

● "Professor Kane tried to steal [Professor Finger's] job last year, but everyone kind of ousted him"

↳ "Oh, gross, Professor Kane? That dude's a dick."

↳ "Yeah, that's what everyone else said."

↳ assumedly, since Tim Drake doesn't have his own opinion of Kane voiced (just "that's what everyone else said"), though Professor Kane is at Tim's school, Tim has not interacted with him one-on-one or had his class (my assumption would be Tim is avoiding Kane's classes since everyone keeps talking shit. why willingly take a teacher you know might make your life hellish for a semester? i do that with RateMyProfessor all the time). in contrast, Jason Todd likely has taken a class by Professor Kane considering his wording (which makes additional sense when you realize Jason Todd is unlikely to use the internet or features like RateMyProfessor due to him having grown up without much day-to-day/non-Batman-and-Robin tech before the Lazarus Pit. probably isn't a habit for him to look profs up); but it's also likely Jason just came to his own conclusions firmly after hearing enough rumors/second-hand stories about it, that does also fit Jason's personality

↳ "ousted" implies Professor Kane no longer works at that campus. but who knows, maybe

● (note: same as Professor Finger's section above, still under the "People" section— this guy is not "Dr. Kane", this OC assumedly does not have a doctorate. which, we don't know what kind of subject this Kane OC is a professor of. but, considering he tried to steal Professor Finger's job, i think it's safe to assume Kane is also an English professor. it is fairly common for English profs to have up to a Masters, then its a toss-up if they stopped there or also got a PhD so that checks out.)

● i'm not re-writing my notes on "is this guy a Professor at a university (Ivy University? Gotham University?) or at Goth Academy (high school)?" so look above in Professor Finger's section (above, still under "People") for my waffling on about that

● i'm guessing on the spelling of Professor Kane's surname based on phoentics + "Kane" is how Bob Kane spelled his surname (same goes for "Finger" except i don't think there is any other way to spell "Finger"(?), unlike Kane/Cain/Kain/Cane/Kayne/Cayne/Caine/Kaine/Caigne/Kaigne/etc, you get the idea). i assume Professor Kane is unrelated to the DC Comics Kane (fictional) family/families (eg. one family is Katherine "Kate" Kane (Batwoman), Mary Elizabeth "Bette" Kane (Hawkfire), and Jacob Kane. another Kane family is the father-son duo Jesse Kane and David Kane (Black Manta; though i think it's more popular for Black Manta's civillian surname to be Hyde in-comics), from the live-action "Aquaman" movie series. and another is Cassandra Cain (Oracle; in some other universes, her surname is Wu-San though) and her father, David Cain; though that one is if i assumed incorrectly about how to spell Professor Kane's surname. and so on, im sure there's others with a variant of this surname. a lot of people in the DC Comic workspace used the surname as either a Biblical reference, which is not that important to what i am discussing here, or in tribute to Bob Kane before everyone knew about how much work should actually be attributed to Bill Finger) but yeah, hc to your heart's content if you want Professor Kane to be related to someone. just because there is no evidence of confirmation does not, in this case, mean there is any evidence of contradiction either. (hc: like i prefer Jacob Kane to be a good guy, bc Katherine "Kate" Kane (Batwoman) deserves a decent dad. but i know in the "Gotham Knights" game (idk if this is true anywhere else), Jacob Kane is a member of The Court Of Owls, specifically "The Voice of the Court". i think the Waynes/Kanes having a connection to the Court makes sense. i think it's kinda off to have everyone in the Wayne/Kanes be good, and all other rich families in Gotham have at least one bad egg in The Court of Owls; i think the Wayne/Kanes should be included as part of that corrupted mess, just, probably someone outside of the Batfam and their immediate relatives. id be perfectly happy having Professor Kane be in the Wayne/Kane family as the representative associated with The Court Of Owls in Jacob Kane's place. maybe he can be Jacob Kane's crotchety old uncle or someone in the family closer to Kate's age, but someone who they are all but officially estranged from. hence, no idea he/their family was involved in the Court. if you prefer drama tho, i don't think anybody really knows anything about Bette Kane's dad except that he's dead? maybe he came back, idk, basically all the Robins have died and came back. or maybe she has a brother, idk, i prefer my "distant family" pitch more personally. but also then i kinda wonder why Professor Finger isn't dead via a Talon getting assigned to kill him, so i also don't believe my own hc pitch. it is the most likely option that Professor Kane could just be an unrelated, miscellaneously benign but dickish Kane lol anyway, i digress)

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★★★ TED (the Gotham transplant. DC Comics OC)

● unknown pronouns. unknown surname. (hc surname: Icarian. meaning i hc this character's name to be Ted Icarian. which "Icarian" is the adjective/noun form referencing the Ancient Greek lore character called "Icarus". most famous for wearing his dad's wax wings, flying too close to the sun, and falling to his death with a moral about arrogance, the sublime, and human error. which, y'know, is poetic because im hc'ing this as "uncorrupted Ted that has never been/has yet to become a goon" (more on that in a bullet-point below), ergo, "before the fall" morally and before Bill's-version-pre-reboot-of-Ted's fall from Wayne Towers ~73 stories high to his death from Man-Bat. so it is also a pun. also, as a brief self-note: applying the Hozier song titled "Icarian (I, Carrion)" to this intrepretation of Ted is fitting poetically and also funny in a dark-humor way. edit: Ted's life is going downhill fast between the first and second videos, and i feel like i accidentally condemned Ted with this surname lmao Ted, i'm so sorry)

↳ the following does involve hc, but also does analyze possible connections between "this Ted" and "the Ted mentioned within Bill The Henchmen's Confirmed Co-Workers section of Bill's whole bit above (yet still under the "People" heading)": i like to headcanon this is the same Ted who is/was Bill The Henchman's late coworker. since Ted-The-Coworker was established pre-Reboot Agent, this could either be a prequel to Ted dying from the Man-Bat (which btw the skit of that is linked here) or could be Ted in a rebooted alternate life. i like to assume the latter, because i think that'd be hilariously trippy for Bill to see his coworker still alive post-reboot but tragic that this Ted doesn't likely know who Bill is lol but also all of this, either way, makes the Henchman LinkedIn joke a few bullet-points down extra (bittersweet) fucking funny

● appearance: wears all black. first video included a black t-shirt and a black denim jacket. second video included a black scarf with a black-white-and-gray long-sleeve top.

● has a 4-door car. idk anything about cars. but has shot these videos, generally, in said car. so that is one of Ted's habits as an influencer → and now that car is where Ted sleeps, oh dear (at least is sleeping with a neck pillow? idk any silver lining here)

● now lives in Gotham (Batman's territory, which is in the East Coast and most traditionally is in pseudo-New Jersey), but is a transplant from Coast City (for context, Coast City's most famous protector is Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) if that helps you. it's in pseudo-California). lives in an apartment in Gotham → oh, god. uh, Ted no longer lives in an apartment in Gotham. Ted is now unhomed, now living in their car. their apartment was burned down into the shape of a giant smiley-face and there was a fireproof-paper note on "where my bed once used to be" that said: "Disrespect my Joker Fries again, bitch, and it won't just be the house". so. assumedly Ted's home was burned down by the Joker

↳ has lived in Gotham City "for 3 months". if you want to apply reality's timeline to the skit, hen he has been living in Gotham for 3 months from the point of recording the tiktok on 25 March 2024 (aka: 25 January 2024-ish is around when Ted moved to Gotham?)

● two jobs. job (1) is as an influencer, makes tiktoks (eg. "Top 5 Facts About Gotham City (from a Coast City transplant)" type videos. doing social media seems to be a side hustle or just for fun? each video has the top margin say "GOTHAM FYP" or "GOTHAM CITY FYP" so far (which i know is a fun trend people do and that's part of advertising that "hello, the following is comments about a fictional city; this a trend, i am a nerd (/tone indicator: affectionate); please do not think this is a real place (or that im stupid, as sometimes comic nerd get v patronizing in the comments. (eg. 'uh? op didn't know Harvey Dent was Two-Face? fake DC fan much' like? my comrade, it is a trend, it is a GAG, of course op knew, they did a skit playing as a character that's a Gotham civillian who wouldn't know that, oh my god, that's the BIT))", but also my not-tech-savvy ass assumes a part of it is also supposed to be a gag about the search-bar? and the idea is that the viewer is either watching Gotham City content within the DC-universe or, more likely, also lives in Gotham(?). idk. but yeah because [insert real city] fyp content doesn't ever have that "[CITY] FYP" stuff at the top that ive seen, but they do always have the search bar always filled in. usually with more "[real city] fyp" items, most generally it will be just "[city] fyp" but also sometimes the search bar says stuff like "[city] fyp to eat", "[city] fyp tips", etc as i watch the tiktok video VS. if i watch "Gotham FYP" content, my personal 50/50 experience on if my search-bar will give me more "Gotham FYP" content in my search bar or if it will be something else DC Comics adjacent, like a new movie. however, after saying all of that: i think i maybe went into an overthinking spiral again, ignore me if that is the case) summary content of video below in case application of Gotham Fun Facts is desired)

↳ does not think the Bat Burger lives up to the hype. thinks Joker Fries are not that good. prefers Big Belly Burger (same favorite resteraunt as Butch Moreti, another thepandaredd OC, above yet still under the "People" section). will still eat Bat Burger tho

↳ "Gang territory, here? Gerrymandered to fuck". have to change colors of outfit to keep safe

↳ Halloween is outlawed in Gotham (in part bc of copyright laws). even trick-or-treating is illegal

↳ Henchman jobs are available on Linked In. applying puts you on a watchlist for the GCPD but still

↳ Gothamites are both exaggerating about the crime rates here and not. Gotham has more than the usual number of villains but the crime is less of a disturbance than expected, in spite of how "in Coast City, we're used to, like, one intergalactic threat showing up every couple of months" VS "It is like almost every other fucking week here [in Gotham]"

↳ Ted got a Welcome Package when Ted first moved in. package contained: "a safety straw you use to drink out of fucking lakes, a gas-mask, [and] a gun"

↳ "The second the sun dips behind the horizon, the sky turns red. No, I'm not joking. Night-time doesn't exist. There are demon hours and that is when the sky is fucking red!" also, both Ted and i are chemically unsure how that works

↳ there are police blimps to patrol Gotham City from the sky. "I saw a dude jay-walk at, like, 2 in the morning; and, all of a sudden, a flood-light came out of the goddamn sky!" which Ted admits, despite having lived where Green Lantern "used to be" (is that verb-usage related to the Superb Prowers insurance question about Coast City being gone now? is Green Lantern also gone? idk), Green Lantern did not get Ted used to this kind of shit at all (fair)

↳ despite there being "like 10 million people living here", "more than half" of the buildings here are of abandoned buildings and all of them were former businesses (hc/theory: Ted, those were probably the results of fronts for money-laundering, and they they had to shut the place down in order to avoid the cops. and also poverty, making a honest business as a newbie entrepreneur with no familial pre-established networking is very hard, i imagine, esp with all the "pay my gang for protection (from our gang)" stuff. that doesn't help) ■ yet Ted found a way into a (working?) bathroom in one such building, admittingly under duress (Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) was chasing him) ■ "half the residential buildings are abandoned apartment complexes"

↳ Ted finds Robin (assumedly Damian Wayne; "a 12 year-old running around with a sword") is "scarier than you would think". not necessrily that Robin is scarier than Batman, but that not enough people warn you about Robin. plus the fact that said Robin has "two brothers" where "one of them is fucking packing heat and the other is just going to fucking beat you to death with a billy-club!" (okay so, that is assumedly Jason Todd (Red Hood) and Tim Drake (Red Robin). makes sense, since Dick Grayson is largely looking over Bludhaven, he would not be present, and Duke Thomas (Signal) is largely working day-hours. Ted is not going to be happy to find out that there are more than just those two tho) ■ "the Robins" went after Ted for loitering? bc Ted was trying to find a place to sleep, homeless, in their car?? "Loitering is a big thing here" (hc: i don't like the idea of the Batfam caring about loitering (which is v racially charged "crime"), much less pestering the homeless?? especially Jason, who im p sure did sleep on the street at some point. but i can accept the idea that they saw unfamiliar plates on the car and wanted to check out "who the hell is driving this slow (looking for where to sleep) at 2AM from Coast City?" and pulled out the random loitering as an empty excuse (reality: was checking this dude wasn't a runaway robber from Coast City, looking for a place to break-into, mostly to hide-out and maybe rob; and then realized the truth about Ted's situation). i can also accept them gently being involved in the homeless' lives so as to better protect them, remember them, break the ice, and just (again: gently) hazing new people. i like the idea of Ted seeing a couple comments from other unhoused people explaining that "getting to know you" method. just messing with Ted while they got down some details to look a bit more into Ted (eg. Damian memorizing Ted's license plate while Time distracts Ted might lead the trio to an article explaining how Ted lost that apartment) and see if they can get Ted off the street without being so obvious as to dish out hand-outs since some people have really negative reactions to those despite the good intentions. idk. it was just a gag, but one that greatly confused me so now i am spinning it and righting it in my head lmao)

↳ the G.C.P.D. police have to be at every single graduation from college. because, and this happens so often, that someone gets their doctorate and right then and there decides to commit their first act of super-villainy at the ceremony. part of me wonders how Ted learned that, what graduation did Ted attend or did Ted hear about it from others? idk

● second job: unknown. assumed to be Ted's day-job or main occupation (with social-media as a side thing).

↳ has co-worker there named Alex (confirmed he/him pronouns. Alex's duplex is split between Penguin territory and Two-Face territory. "has to change colors if he wants to go to the bathroom". Alex does not get his own section because this is all the info i got on him ■ though i will also say there is another Alex, likely unrelated for reasons listed in the other section, in The First Universal Henchmen's Union section's "confirmed members" listing, above, and said section is all under the overall "Associations" heading)

● Ted's Enemies, i guess (hopefully just temporarily): Joker (pissed off due to Ted dissing the Joker Fries; burned down Ted's apartment and left a threatening fireproof note) ■ Mitchell Mayo (Condiment King) (was also pissed off by Ted's food opinions, though Mitchell's was implied to moreso be about the Bat Burger; chased Ted into an abandoned building's bathroom and pounded on the door of said bathroom while yelling at Ted) ■ i assume there will be more

● (@/thepandaredd, if you're reading this, i know i said i have hcs but i truly do not actually care if this Ted and the previous dead-Ted are two different Teds, the same Ted but a prequel version, the same Ted but now rebooted into an alternate life... all i ask, is that Ted is not the next "Todd". it would be so fucking funny if you made a third Ted (even funnier if this one was Tedd, with two "D"s, but that is nOT TO GIVE YOU IDEAS), but i am also begging you between laughs once again to please consider not making more DC OCs named Ted. that is so close spelling-wise to "Todd". please. and thank you for coming to my TED Talk (ba-da-tish)) [/tone clarity: this is me complaining as a bit. do what you want, it's your tiktok and your OCs. im just joshing. ill be fine if you do more Todds and Teds. much love to you and yours ♡]

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★★★ THE REGRETTABLES RE-IMAGINING PITCHES (exactly what it sounds like. not quite an OC, but fuck it)

★ you could also argue "Daniel Dyce (#711)" of "Regrettable Superheroes" is a pitch of an OC of thepandaredd (specifically, thepandaredd pitched for him to become a gag villain in Gotham who keeps breaking out of Arkham). which, uh, i do also have notes on. but i will not be sharing within this post because a lot of it is "me myself brainstorming a re-imagining of this character" which feels too tangiental to put here in "thepandaredd's original characters and associations" post. and, yeah, you would have assumed thepandaredd would have further re-imagining pitches of some of the "Regrettables" but these were the rare ones i could find and i am p confident i've watched all the videos in that series bc i was looking for exactly these kind of notes. all the rest were "Regrettable, don't bring them back" or "Not regrettable, bring them back (with said opinion not including a pitch for their re-imagining. at most just a vague 'as a gag'. anything more than that and i will attach them to this/my thepanndaredd's OC list)".

↳ but yeah, that was from a two-parter tiktok from 8 June 2023 (or thepandaredd's 2023 June Monthly compilation video, either or). i'm generally gping to keep these summaries short bc their pitches are short. but thepandaredd's pitch for Daniel Dyce is to have him come back as an Arkham Asylum patient who keeps breaking out of his room #711, and is a gag. Daniel is just delusional, keeps fighting the Batman and Bat-kids while thinking they are the villain Brick-Bat and that Dyce is a hero (read: Dyce is not a hero in his re-imagining, that is his altered reality he thinks he is living. he fails spectacularly every time he tries heroics). alternatively, it could be the Riddler putting on a Batman cowl to fuck with Dyce and make Dyce think Batman is bad (similar as to Hush), taking advantage of Dyce to throw in Batman's way. it is implied that Dyce does belong in Arkham and was not a case of Damon and Pythias* gone wrong, that was just another delusion in thepandaredd's re-imagining. but yeah, just a one-shot gag villain

↳ *: as a fun-fact the nerd in me wants to mention: Daniel Dyce's shtick with his best buddy in terms of the prison-swapping is actually an intertextual reference to the Ancient Greek lore story of Damon and Pythias (except Damon and Pythias was about Pythias being on death row (the version i know is Pythias being framed by King Dionysus I "for trying to kill King Dioynsus I". bc. King Dionysus I wanted to get rid of Pythias. for. reasons that i forget that i think were political), and Damon volunteers to be Pythias' placeholder (and be executed in Pythias' place if Pythias never returns) so Pythias can settle some affairs back home himself and ensure his family is taken care of before he comes back to be executed. then, in the original story, the whole time Damon volunteers and waits and waits and waits, everyone says "Damon, dude, Pythias is totally not going to come back, you're gonna die in his place, i'm so sorry, there is no way he is going to come back" but Damon has faith and then Pythias does come back (and was almost too late, like Damon's head was on the chopping block awaiting the blade, because Pythias got thrown overboard his own ship by pirates and swam as fast as he could to get back on the path so Damon wouldn't die, which is fucking wild, but i digress). and King Dioynsus I is so touched by the sheer Pythagorean Friendship moral ideal these two are that he pardons Pythias! so now both he and Damon get to live, yaayyyy!! and, as a bonus fact, the most popular recent re-telling of this in contemporary times is Dreamsworks' "Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas", which is an animated pirate movie, ain't that neat. and, hey, while i got you here, you should watch Breadsword's "Sinbad and The Death of Pirate Cinema" on youtube because all of Breadsword's video-essays are poetic and make me wanna cry). uh, except if you have seen the two-parter thepandaredd made about Daniel Dyce (or somehow read Daniel Dyce's comic yourself), you'll know that's not how shit went down for Daniel Dyce, he did not get that happy ending lmao rip

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★ next one is "Tony Trent (The Face)". again, i have notes about running with this pitch. not included here bc it's Very Much Me which is tangential for a thepandaredd OC listicle and im already pushing the envelope with my hc additions i couldn't bring myself to delete for the public version. so here we go. this one has a pitch way more minimal than Daniel Dyce (#711) right above, but still got more than just "as a gag" so here we are lol (plus, there is no intertextual reference i am recognizing and wanna be a nerd about. sooooo...) thankfully tho, this will be shorter

↳ video is in the May 2023 compilation. is p just putting a Halloween mask on and scaring people.all because he, as a radio announcer and part-time news anchor, got so disheartened and angry by what he had to read everyday, that he just had to become a night-time vigilante. he is like a private-eye pulp detective, "he's like Batman but shitty". "No gadgets, no superpowers, no supervillains, no continuous enemies". thepandaredd's re-imagining pitch is to keep all of that and just, as a parody gag, have this guy show up in Gotham to make a difference and have everyone be like "No, dude, we fight Batman? Who the fuck are you?". because, as thepandaredd so eloquently said "He's just a guy!" that's it lmao rip

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the end, until i update this (if i ever do)

[horsetailcurlers2]

another long obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching greys anatomy for the first time (season 13 bc nobody has stopped me!!)

-oh my god meredith please just tell her you slept with riggs

-yeah DUH amelia you should have gotten to know each other better before you got married

-can i just say that i will never ever base my preconceptions of a show off tiktok again lol. before i watched this show i fully expected to hate maggie and april. i’m nervous bc i’ve also seen people who haven’t watched pp say they hated amelia but so far i don’t see why.

-i’m confused?? amelia has definitely mentioned her anencephalic baby to owen before. maybe she hasn’t laid out the whole story but she definitely mentioned him some time after derek died.

-oooh murphy is back

-bailey is not stupid so why is she acting stupid??? of course this prison has scarce medical resources and the doctors are overworked. what planet do you live on?

-trying to cut dr eliza some slack bc she’s just doing her job, but she could probably do it a way that’s less irritating

-imo alex deserves to be punished. way too many main characters get off too easy when they make fucked up choices. but i selfishly don’t want him to go to prison lol

-bailey is starting to seriously piss me off. i’m not saying all the attendings are in the right for the way they’re acting but what did she think would happen if she brought in some abrasive stranger to take a sledgehammer to their program and undermine the authority of a bunch of tight knit surgeons who are often times like a group of talented toddlers with scalpels

-they should have done a chemistry read with jessica capshaw before they cast minnick lmao. the flirting is so bad and the “sexual tension” thing they’re trying to is almost laughable.

-why on earth WOULDN’T you want an actual peds surgeon to supervise a child’s surgery? whatever phase two of your teaching program whatever…. but what the fuck?

-also “this isn’t about me it’s about edwards” rubs me the wrong way bc actually it’s about the fucking patient

-i think they’ve introduced new exterior shots this season. i like ‘em

-owen pisses me off bc he’s actually a really good friend, but an appallingly bad partner

-maggie could stand to chill out a little bit, even if she doesn’t know about the cancer.

-“a place she loved… by the water” RICHARD

-maggie’s mom is so real “orgasms. they are not a gift. it’s your right” “i wanna die with my eyelashes on”

-the synchronized lasagna eating is what finally made me cry. RIP diane

-“her heart beat for derek shepherd. it never occurred to me that she would be with anyone else” jesus fucking christ why don’t you chill out a little bit arizona

-i like this plane episode a lot. i know it’s not *technically* a bottle episode but it feels like one. what are the odds somebody can be in TWO emergency plane situations in the same handful of years

-meredith definitely fucked up and she should’ve told maggie about riggs WAY sooner but (and i feel mean saying this) maggie is being a little dramatic about a guy she didn’t actually date. it’s the principle though, so i get it.

-jo’s secret abusive husband is will shuester?????

-these fake outs with alex and paul are giving me heart palpitations.

-of course amelia speaks german. that’s so hot

-maybe i’m stupid but i think that if there’s a fire, all the doors to outside should automatically be unlocked

-minnick sucks ridiculously hard

[writingonleaves]

wait could we please get an outline of the clem and nico relationship timeline (without spoilers of course!)

i was about to go to sleep but now i am Not and so excited to talk clem and nico as always, so thank you for this!! this is a good exercise for me too to see how well i know my story off the top of my head lmao. below are the basics. lmk if there's anything i missed / something specific you wanted to know about!!

Clem moves to Hoboken to start her residency: summer of 2023

First meeting: October 12, 2023 post devils season opener

Devils Friendsgiving: late November 2023. i say this is where nico first shows signs of liking clem as more of a friend and also i believe where jack first notices as well

Devils Hospital Visits: early December 2023. this is i say where Clem first started having inklings of liking nico as more than a friend bc seeing nico with kids is a killer

Christmas with Hughes Extended Family / New Year's: self explanatory lol. this is when clem tells nico about her dad and why she's so close to the hughes family

Nico's Birthday / Hughes Bowl in Jersey: January 4-6, 2024 (rip jack not being there irl but it is what it is). this is when clem bakes the cake for nico

Cole telling Clem that everyone has baggage lmao: February 24, 2024 when the habs are in town to play the devils. i always say this is the point when its shown that jack and luke (and subsequently, cole) knows theres something between clem and nico that could actually be something

Devils at Rangers / unofficial date post-game when clem and nico go to the beer garden: April 3, 2024. also miguel's birthday.

First kiss / officially dating: April 20, 2024. in my world the devils make the playoffs (and i think i also said the first round is devils v penguins? would love to know what the fuck i was on when picking the pens lmao and who knows if devs will even make playoffs now!!! anyways)

there's so much more but those are spoilers so i will keep hush. this was very messy but i hope it made sense and answered your question!!